#but i really need to learn how to use a microwave because wtf

[depoteka]

guys call me a boomer but i literally dunno how to use a microwave

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 315: I Didn’t Expect This to Blow Up

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “guess which plot that you thought was dead is actually not dead and is making a comeback!” and we were all “EVIL HPSC??” and he was all “girl you know it,” and that’s the story of how we got a sexy Lady Nagant flashback with lots of guns and murder. Flashback!Lady was all “gotta murder peeps to preserve the people’s trust,” but then a little while later she was like “actually wait that makes no sense,” and so she shot her evil boss and they sent her to jail. Back in the present, Deku was all “okay fair, the hero system might in fact be a little fucked up, but hear me out... have you considered not helping AFO take over the world so he can murder like a bazillion more innocent people??” The chapter ended with the not-all-there Overhaul finally revealing himself to Deku, and I honestly have no idea where this is gonna go.

Today on BnHA: In what is unfortunately the single worst plan ever concocted by anyone in BnHA, Nagant is all “I’m going to try and get this Deku kid to panic and freeze up by putting someone in mortal danger.” Deku is all, “[doesn’t panic and freeze up at the sight of someone in mortal danger].” Nagant is all “omg no way.” Deku, who is now all of a sudden being so OP that even I have to acknowledge that it’s OP lol, is all “[smashes Nagant’s gun arm to bits]”, which sucks but is also really cool, and which also apparently makes Nagant decide that she actually likes this kid after all. Deku is all “NAGANT I REALLY LIKE YOU AND THINK YOU’RE GREAT SO PLEASE JOIN UP WITH ME AND STOP BEING EVIL.” Nagant is all “aw shucks (✿ •͈ᴗ•͈) well okay then” and everyone is all “( ･◡･) ✰ ( ˆᴗˆ ) ( ᵘ ᵕ ᵘ ⁎)” and then Nagant FUCKING EXPLODES LIKE AN EGG IN THE MICROWAVE AND FALLS TO HER DEATH!!!! except not really because Hawks saves her??? In conclusion, (a) THE FUCK, and (b) AFO TURN ON YOUR LOCATION I JUST WANT TO TALK.

so I have to tell you guys something, which is that barely ten minutes after I made that “please don’t send me spoilers” post the other day, someone replied to the comments in a stunning fit of “tell me that you’re twelve without actually telling me you’re twelve” energy and posted what seemed to be the copy-pasted spoiler summary from reddit or twitter or whatever lol. so here is my good news/bad news rundown of all that

good news: I have very well-conditioned ABORT!! reflexes and have trained myself to immediately look away from the screen (usually in dramatic fashion) as soon as I realize that whatever I’m reading is a spoiler

bad news: unfortunately as I was subsequently deleting said comments, I accidentally read the very last one

good news??: said spoiler was so unbelievably, absurdly over-the-top that I’m almost positive this person was just trolling. like, there’s just no way lmao

bad news: but in the unlikely event that it is true I will absolutely lose my shit I swear to god

(ETA: “NAGANT DIES.” that was the spoiler I read lol. like, literally all I read from the person’s comments was “My Hero Academia Chapter 315 Title: “Beautiful Words.” Chapter starts with...” and then I noped out of there, and then of all the comments to read as I was deleting, it had to be that one lol. I seriously was just like “SURE, JAN.” all “just how gullible do you think I am” sob. but I was wrong. a troll, but an honest troll they remain.

but anyways like I’m pretty sure Nagant isn’t even actually dead lol, so in the end this whole little adventure doesn’t even have a point to it, but for me it was a journey!)

anyway, so there are apparently two versions of the chapter today?? no idea what the difference is, but I’m going to go with the Bean version, because it’s the one at the top and I don’t feel like making decisions today

huh, so Overhaul is actually more coherent than Horikoshi was letting on

look at him having a whole back and forth conversation with her. side note, how is he still this jacked when he’s been sitting in a cell doing absolutely nothing for the past six months

anyway so he says he’ll go with her on one condition. I wonder what that condition could possibly be. do you think it could be the thing he literally hasn’t shut up about ever since he reappeared lol

yep! and damn -- maybe this guy will surprise me after all

still would be nice if you also felt a bit sorry for the little girl you tortured and traumatized, but this is something at least. maybe Deku will yell at him for that other stuff lol

(ETA: also can’t help but wonder if he wants to make amends because he put him in a coma, or because his plan was a failure and ended up destroying the family. just hoping you’ve finally had that “hurting other people is bad” epiphany dude.)

anyways so now Nagant’s arm is transforming again, and this particular transformation happens to be the only truly unsexy thing that Nagant has done thus far so I’m just gonna skip right on ahead lol

aaaaand we’re back to the delirious ranting

buddy. just. read the fucking room, guy

wow she really is aiming at Overhaul, then. those theories were spot-on

damn she’s really out here all “it really fucks with kids’ heads when you kill people right in front of them and make them blame themselves” like yo

I’m picturing her saying all this in a very loud stage-whispery tone while making very significant eye contact with Deku lol

uh oh but wait

um. okay. who’s gonna tell her. Nagant I might have some bad news for you about the kid you’re trying to capture here. specifically about the way he tends to do the opposite of what you’re thinking that he’s about to do

holy shit

so it’s basically just “tap x repeatedly to charge up your attack” lol

and okay, so that’s cool and all, but is anyone else wincing at the thought of what that must be like on his knees. oh to be young

anyway, but so to the surprise of basically no one, Deku did not, in fact, freeze. I am very sorry, Nagant. he’s just like this

LMAO

someone wanna tell me how getting yoloed in the fucking ribs by this fucking slingshot kid moving at literal sniper bullet speed is in any way even remotely better than getting hit by the bullet itself lol

(ETA: this is 10x funnier now that we know the bullet wasn’t even gonna hit him lmao.)

anyway so now Nagant is having an extended “!?!?!?” reaction about how Deku just moved with no hesitation, and I’m starting to get an inkling of fear that the rest of this fight isn’t going to go very well for her and maybe that’s what all the “hoo boy” is about

oh my god Deku are you about to Gomu Gomu no Rocket yourself at her you insane little man

now Three is popping up again and he’s all “I see you’ve learned your lesson and are now only using three quirks at once instead of five” like with all this effusive praise about how great and badass Deku is and sob, okay, yeah. this chapter is basically one of those machines that shoots tennis balls at people, except instead of tennis balls it shoots hot piping discourse

OH MY GOD

YOOOOOOOOOO but also, NOOOOOOOOOOO

lol oh my god it’s literally two opposing reactions at once wtf. do I love this or hate this. like just for once can Horikoshi actually let a badass lady character win their fucking fight without getting their arm ripped off, BUT ALSO fucking look at that absurdly cool “SMASH” onomatopoeia though. it looks like it’s about to float right off the page holy shit that’s some seriously good art

anyway so is this really the end?? do I need to break out my ಠ_ಠ faces

lmao okay yeah I can definitely see how this would piss a lot of people off

he basically one-shotted her and she’s all “damn this kid is so amazing that I’m about to do a complete 180 turn on all of my previous angst” lmao. Horikoshi is really shounening it up today

on the plus side though, maybe this means there’s still a chance for her to join up with him after all? unless that spoiler was true lmao, then all hell is gonna break loose

YESSSSSSS

OH MY GOD AND HE SAYS THE BULLET WOULDN’T HAVE DONE MORE THAN GRAZE OVERHAUL ANYWAY, wow, I’m actually more relieved by that than I would have expected. I mean I would have forgiven her either way, but it means that there was still more hero in her than she was letting on

YES!!! FUCKING YES, THANK YOU

lol but I mean, it’s also like, “oh so today they get to have brain cells”, thank you so much lol. sometimes it’s really hard to tell which times we’re supposed to question these character decisions that seem dumb, and which times we’re just supposed to full on embrace them and switch off our critical thinking

but okay, so in this case it really was Nagant going easy on him on purpose, and not just her fucking up for no good reason even though she used to do this for a living and was the best in the game. and I know in this case it’s probably just Horikoshi giving us some consolation headpats to soften the blow of her losing so abruptly, but you know what, shit. I’ll take it

also you guys the light is coming back into Deku’s eyes again for just a moment here and I’m having feels about it?? the way it still comes back when he’s reaching out to save someone, and following his own hero path instead of the much darker and lonelier Christopher Nolan path that’s been laid out for him instead that he never wanted?? it’s both reassuring and also very sad

YESSSSSSSSSSS

DO IT LADY OMG PLEASE?? PLEASE COME BE HIS NEW IRRESPONSIBLE ADULT SUPERVISION YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO

AHHHHHHH SHE’S GONNA DO IT AHHHH

p.s. I am now absolutely scared shitless that that spoiler was actually true sob. swear to god, I will throw this manga into a fucking volcano. but we’re almost at the end of the chapter and this seems just WAY TOO GOOD to be true fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck f

UCK

NOPE NAH SEND IT BACK, NOPE, NUH UH, DIDN’T ORDER THIS. “GULLIBLE” OKAY FUCK YOU?? “COUNTERMEASURES” NOPE, DON’T NEED ‘EM, WE’RE ALL FINE HERE. WE’RE ACTUALLY GOOD SO YOU CAN JUST GO, OKAY. PLEASE

fuck, lol, I don’t wanna do it. I don’t wanna scroll down what have I ever done to deserve this oh my god

WHAT THE HONEY-ROASTED FUCK

WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT FUCKING VOLCANO IN ICELAND THAT I KEEP SEEING ALL THESE PICTURES OF. WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT. LET’S GO

ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW

can someone please give AFO a really good, sharpish kick in the balls. just really let him have it. I’m so tired, what the fuck

-- ARE YOU KIDDING ME LOL WHAT

bro. I was literally going through my Excel folders to find the spreadsheet about female characters in BnHA that I made back when Midnight died. was gearing myself up for a wholeass rant. and honestly I might just let all of that continue simmering on low to keep it warm just in case lol, because to tell you the truth I have absolutely no idea what’s happening right now

my girl straight up does not have a face. she used to have a face. people usually need those, idk. like, even if she’s alive, her gorgeous eyebrows are definitely not making it out of this and I’m gonna throw a funeral just for them

how the fuck did AFO just blow her up?? how did he know what was going on?? and if he had a quirk that could explode people at will, why is this the first we’re hearing of it?? you’d think that might have come in handy at Kamino or Jakku, like what

(ETA: present!me, who’s had more than three hours of sleep and can now actually remember facts about the series, would like to remind past!me that AFO gave Nagant a quirk, and so this is probably just more Vestige shenanigans now on his part. that’s also probably why Air Walk suddenly stopped working out of nowhere. still doesn’t explain why he doesn’t go around blowing people up more often though but maybe he thinks it’s gauche.)

Hawks just straight up out of nowhere. just Mirioed his way straight into the chapter just in time to be too late sob. here I was looking forward to seeing your face when Deku showed up with his new best friend. can’t believe Horikoshi deprived us of that moment

on the plus side, WELCOME BACK, HAWKS’S FEATHERS. I have no doubt that in this chapter of Deku being an almighty threequirk-mastering god, and Nagant losing anticlimactically only to be immediately blown up because girl characters in BnHA can only be cool for one fight and one fight only, there are still some people who are focusing solely on the “how dare Hawks get his wings back when he is a MURDERER this is an outrage what about CONSEQUENCES” discourse, and to hell with all the other discourses lmao

anyway, so yeah. wow. and now it’s just occurring to me that maybe the real reason why Overhaul is there is so he can get a head start on that amend-making by actually doing a good thing for once in his life, and using his quirk to heal Nagant. assuming he can still do that

and so now Horikoshi has got me out here actually rooting for Overhaul. you know what, on that note I think I’m just gonna go ahead and call it a day sob

[alegzandryan]

Prepping for a Ritual

So since I am doing these things as we speak I thought I would go through some ritual things that I find useful, for anyone that feels overwhelmed or unprepared for ritual work. I know tumblr and tiktok have pushed a lot of easy jar spells on us, but there really is something more to a ritual setting, even a simple one. And as it goes without saying, this is my personal idea of a guide and everyone is entitled to their own opinion and practice.

Get your supplies ready the day before the ritual. ESPECIALLY if you are going outside/somewhere outside your home. Collect all the things you will need and put them together. This will give you a day to remember all the things you forgot before it's time, instead of in the middle of your ritual

Choose what you are going to wear the day before, too. Some people take aesthetic very seriously but others dont. Either way, give some thought to what you are wearing. Is that crystal necklace good for what you are doing? Are those pants comfortable enough to sit for 30 minutes in? Comfortability is just as important as presentation for ritual, so dont wear that corset that hurts you after 15 minutes. You will need to focus on more important things.

Foot wear is also super underrated. Are you hiking 10 minutes into the forest to find a ritual spot? Wear boots. Are you in your house and want to go barefoot? Make absolutely sure you are not going to step on a ritual tool and make yourself bleed, or curse to some gods about the existence of legos in the middle of your ritual

Make some stuff for a cleansing/power bath. I usually assemble ingredients and things day before, then go to bed, and do a quick ritual bath before the actual ritual. Steep a hair rinse or charm a fancy body wash before hand so you dont have to focus on that spell, too.

Do a tarot reading/your preferred divination, before bed the day before you do a ritual. It can be quick or extensive, it doesnt matter. But it can be good to get some guidance before you are gearing up for a spell or ritual, and have some time to think about it before you are minutes away from it.

Prepare food and water, once again especially if you are going outside. Rituals can take a lot out of you depending on what you are doing, and food and drink are very easy and quick ways to help ground yourself if you are shaky or need help coming back to a relaxed state. If you are struggling, boiling pasta or microwaving stuff is the last thing on your mind, or maybe even your ability. So have some fruit snacks or granola bars or cookies or something-- easy to take and easy to eat-- with you. Trust me, this is more important than a lot of people realize. It's a good after-ritual practice and one you should be ready for

Think about your intent and purpose. Set aside some time day-before to do this, maybe 30 min to 1 hr I would say. Maybe make an entry in your BOS if you are the journaling type. This serves 2 functions: one is to charge your intent before the spell. It will give you more oomph and precision in your spell casting, or more prepared behavior if you are speaking to gods. Think about what you want to ask them, what you want them to know, how much respect you should give them, or what they may ask of you. What are you willing to do for them, and what are you not?

The second function is that it gives you time to back out of something. Not all spells are meant to be cast, and especially not if you are in a high emotion before it. Give yourself a day to prepare, an hour to think over, why am I doing this? SHOULD I be doing this even? There is nothing wrong with changing your mind. Doing things impulsively in magic isn't typically beneficial to the caster most of the time. Think through potential consequences, too. How could it back fire? How could it go right but in the wrong way? Is there a better way to get what you want? Can you add a caveat, or a time limit on the spell? Are you using parts of a closed practice and not really thought about it before now?

If you are doing spell work in the out-of-your-house-space-land, even if it is just like, in your appartment parking lot, the park down the street or even your own backyard, make sure someone somewhere knows about it. I know not everyone is out of the broom closet, but even if you just have to tell your friends you are stargazing or something, make sure SOMEONE knows and has a check in time for you. There are creeps and terrible people everywhere, and not to spook anybody, but doing magic can often attract animals or any assortment of beings who want to watch/investigate you. I have been given a heart attack by a baby antelope at dawn before. I have also been given a heart attack by a forest spirit asking wtf I was doing there. I know it doesnt exactly feel witchy to have your cellphone crammed in your waistband, but trust me, better safe than sorry. Be it humans or otherwise, doing magic in the dark in total secret is just not realistic to your safety. Take someone with you and have them wait in the car or around the corner if you can. Once again, make sure someone, somewhere, has a set time to call or come get you in, incase you get kidnapped or fae-napped. Your wellbeing is a much higher priority than any magic spell.

Also familiarize yourself with nearby wildlife. Even if you are in the city, check out what raccoon eyes look like in flashlight, or maybe if your suburb is prone to stray cats or dogs. Check out a rabies registry as well, so you know what kind of risk you are looking at around such animals. Rabid animals are actually more prone to being unafraid of human contact and will readily let a person touch them. Do NOT interact with wild animals. No, they are not a sign or a gift from your god. Most animals are curious about magic in general, but that doesnt make them not wild. Do not interact. If you are in a less populated space, you should also check out what kind of wild life is native to your area and how dangerous they are. Deer will startle themselves into you like getting hit by a BMW and bears and cougars can be active day or night, as well as Bobcats, snakes, or coyotes. Check out your local wildlife center for advice on how to handle what lives in your area

(Last outdoors advice, I promise) also check out what kind of myths and legends existed on the land you are on, ESPECIALLY if you live in north america. Knowing who's land you are on should be important to your practice anyway, and knowing what kind of creatures may be out there may save you some distress later. Indigenous cultures should be respected, and their tales can tell you what's around your area. And I dont care where the hell you live, if you hear whistling in the darkness/forests, it is one of several things coming to get you and none of them are good. Get gone and DONT whistle back. Or at all. No whistling guys. Bad.

For indoor rituals, make sure you wont be disturbed. Much like meditation, rituals are very dependent on focus and intent. Interruptions can mess with your outcome.

More indoor advice, checkout your lighting and ventilation well before you do your ritual. For instance, my altar is in a walk in closet-- there is no way in hell I am burning 4 candles and an incense in that room. I would have to do it in my living room or bedroom where there are windows, or find a way to eliminate the candles. Is the room dark enough to fit your ritual? Is it light enough that you can read your notes? (also make notes/write up a copy of the spell, it helps so much) Make sure you have enough light to see what you are doing properly.

I am a big advocate of "do not over cleanse your life, stop over cleansing" however, if that is something you do a lot of, make sure all your tools and whatnot are cleansed and prepared day before. You can shave a 2hr ritual down to 30 min if you get all of your prep work done day before, which is nice. And it once again gives you time to say "shit I forgot that one thing I need to cleanse" an hour later and still not interrupt your ritual because it is day before.

If you are an of-legal-age type person and doing some drug/alcohol part of your magic, make double sure you have food, water, and a buddy system. You may not need a designated driver if you aren't going out of your house, but you still need a designated sober person to make sure you dont like, astral travel out of your body and get replaced with a pod person, or get hurt trying to cast a circle with a ritual knife while high. Know your limits well before you use them in ritual and, I cannot emphasize this enough, have a friend to keep you under scrutiny incase something goes wrong and you need help.

If you are having the OTHER kind of must-be-of-age type of ritual, be sure your partner is well informed. Maybe have a dress rehearsal so you are both on the same page about mechanics and consent. Speed run through the general timing and motions, and talk about what each of you expect to get out of the ritual. Is it for bonding? Or are you using the energy to try to charge something? Is it for fertility? Are you both good to have ritualized sex (I know that seems like an obvious question, but you would be surprised by how many partners clam up about sexual things to try to not disappoint their partner). If you are a witch and your partner is not, be sure they know what to expect, and that they 100% want to do it even though it's not necessarily their practice and not just to be a people pleaser. If you havent done anything like this before either, tell them that, too. Honestly is 100% required here

And lastly, keep your cool. It's easy to get over excited or over anxious about this kind of thing, but honestly with a little prep time you have a high change of doing awesome. And even if you dont? That's okay too. Everyone makes mistakes, we all learn from those mistakes, and every single experience you acquire will level you up until you are the best at being you. Do what feels right, trust your gut, do some reading, and keep calm and witchy on.

[washymylifeaway]

SunaOsa fanfic recs: valentines edition~~

SunaOsa is one of my all time favorite ships and this past month, there has been/was an exchange going on between writers (here is the link) and artists (separately) and because I don’t have a life (or maybe it’s just that SunaOsa is my life LOL), I’m here to tell you some of my favorite fics from the pile :D However, as much as I love a ship, sometimes fluff is too asajndajnd so mind you there will probably be a lot of good fics missing just cause I couldn’t get myself to read more fluff (or angst) LOL (IM SORRY but sometimes I also just can’t motivate myself to read a fic no matter how good it looks OOPS).

As always, please check warning and tags before reading any of these fics, and take care of yourselves!!!!

In no particular order (jk the order is last updated haha) tho my favorites will have *** next to them :)

***glass stained black by unrequitedangst (E) 31k // Mafia AU’s are some of my favorite kinds of fics, and this one did not disappoint! The character development of Osamu is really legit and despite being mafia, it’s not that heavy or angst of a fic (but you should still definitely read tags and warnings first). It’s an Osamu heavy fic, and if you’re into reading him being stupid, go right ahead LOL.

redux by catalysis (T) 2.3k // ngl I hate break-up fics with a passion truely (when you can’t handle fluff or angst what to do) but I liked the concept for this one hehe (so I made myself suffer LOL). It was short, but cute !!! and the unspoken words really hit me in the FEELS (so what I’m dramatic fight me LOL).

Impropriety by DeathBelle (T) 5.7k // royalty~ I love the banter between them in this fic and we DO stan respectful Osamu yes we do <33333 The relationships between not only SunaOsa but SunaAtsu (because even though it isn’t really SunaAtsu best friend agenda, I can delude myself into think it is okay :/) are done so well and so nice he’s mean Osamu is best Osamu.

***what are you waiting for? by Slumber (T) 3.7k // MIGHT BE MY FAV FIC FROM THIS EXCHANGE!!! It made me cackle and I love how they learn new things about each other!!!! Like the development is so good and Suna is really doing the MOST!! Also, I love recursive endings AHHHHHH!

agape by sketchedsmiles (T) 11.7k // soulmates, then they were SOULMATES! (ik that’s not how it goes but pls just humor me LOL) This fic really depicted Osamu’s insecurities/internal turmoil/overthinking really well and the realization he has vs Suna’s AHJAFKASFJ. I love confident Suna.

fireside by tartaglia (starkartifices) (T) 3.6k // we do love the subtle flirt flirt don’t we hehe ;) It’s short, it’s fluff, and it’s funny - what more could you ask for? Also whats a vigilante fic if there isn’t at least one pun about being a vigilante LOL.

Over and Over Again by tookumade (G) 6.4k // I would like to order one reassuring, reliable Miya Osamu for myself please and thank you :((( The way the relationship is so GOOD like both Suna and Osamu pick each other up and they know the other has their back ajfhkajdfl. I would purchase all the onigiri with the deal Suna was proposing ;) Onigirintarou.

from here to eternity by TheGlovedArtist (T) 6.6k // I for one am a big fan of mythology and stuff (heroes of olympus but like IDR any of the plot LOL) so of course I read this fic. The snark appearances of Sakusa and Komori gave me LIFE and the difference in descriptions from Astumu and Kita cracked me up. This is another respectful Osamu fic (yes I love these) and in this one it was a ‘I save you as much as you save me’ type beat LOL. Gotta love rings.

***Subtle Inarizaki Dating by sifuhotman (T) 15.2k // THIS ONE. Even if you don’t read the whole thing, I beg of you, please, I AM ON MY KNEES, read the SID for Astumu. It is worth the loss of all your brain calls I guarantee it. It made me giggle so freakin much. Suna might be an A-Hole but he’s OUR A-Hole <3

Forever Begins with 8 Seconds by subtlehues (T) 3.9k // FLUFF hehe, I love their dynamic in this one it’s very good and cute and everything great! Also, I am all for the head cannon that Suna cannot cook, yes pls. Also SUPERPOWERS whooooooooh.

***try again, and again, and again by rosegoldwriting (T) 2.6k // SOULMATES! If you ever wanted a specific soulmate AU! for SunaOsa look no further, it probably comes out LOL. I love this concept of them just being like ‘WTF’ everyday, it gives me life. Also, count how many soulmate AU’s you recognized because I just thought about it and I think it’d be fun LOL. (I went back and I think 11 but I’m not sure LOL)

let us burn by SilverMoonT (G) 13.5k // I am always up for a nice vampire Osamu and witch Suna (which believe it or not, is my second one because I read the other one by this writer LOL) This one is more Suna POV and it really goes into his fears and desires, and I like the way Osamu pushes him to live more freely.

***reasons to microwave an elixir by spiritscript (T) 8.2k // THIS ONE. UGH I love, and it’s funny and cute and it EVEN HAS CRIME (kinda not really but yes)! I love the quiet moments they have and the PET AHHHHHHH! We love medic Osamu :DDDDD But also the betrayal and the sparring (and the irony at the end LOL) AJSKJNFK.

we fall between by stringendos (T) 14.7k // honestly the entire time I was just screaming at my computer, begging for them to hurry up and realize, but alas this is a ~slow burn~ for a reason and the tag ‘exes who act like theyre married’ really is the reason I read it and I do not regret LOL. Also bless Matsuda and stan her.

All the Time in the World by minie_ai (M) 8.8k // we love immortality! Denial! And Suna mentally filing away blackmail against people (namely Astumu) LOL. Running away from your problems is always the answer (I am saying this is a not sarcastic manner because I too, run away from my problems LOL) but ramen is ALWAYS a good answer. We love ourselves some emotional constipation LOL.

***none but you by broikawa (T) 7.2k // everything is a competition always LOL, not that I’m complainin but still LOL EVERYTHING. I really love this one because I love the progression and cock-block SakuAtsu hehe. I love them being synchronized idiots <3

it all comes back to you, (my home) by iritaescents (T) 4.5k // FOREVER, WE STAN FOREVER. Anyway, LOL this was is very very cute and fluff and not slow burn, it fast burn LOL. It’s a cute fic to read and it even has our favorite, now say it with me SOULMATES LOL.

Can't help falling in bed with you by tirralirra (T) 6.7k // here we see a 5 + 1 with points for the title (I think it’s very funny LOL my humor is bad ;)) Not that it really needs extra points because it’s a great fic in itself LOL but I really liked the title so I felt the need to share this with you all (OOPS). This was so cute, and the + 1 is HILARIOUS.

It’s no longer up :(((((( -> love's consequences by xginpuff (T) 6.5k // WARNINGS AND TAGS been a while since we had an angsty fic in this list (LOL the way I just tried to avoid all of them hehe). I read the tags but ngl I was still surprised later LOL maybe I’m just dumb, but anyway IK it starts out a bit confusing, but after you read more, you’ll get into it!

***sunagashi by bastigod (T) 9.8k // if there’s anything I like more than mythology, it’s folklore LOL. I love this fic and the plot is written so artfully AHDSAJN. Also the scene with the Ume-chan and her comment (so snarky I love). Also they way I went through so much trouble trying to figure out the kanji LOL (SPOILER it’s miyarin hehe)

catch me (while i'm still runnin') by lunarins (T) 4.3k // first and foremost, may we have a moment of silence for Komori and his eyebrows..... Continuing, this fic was so good because I love a good heist hehe. Their slight of hand abilities really doing the most LOL, and the ending OMG. I love the way the writer added in how they appeared to others during the heist, it really made it so good! Ugh to have a painting class and almost die LOL.

***if we get this right by Slumber (G) 5k // OLD FRIEND plsplspls I love this fic and I love how Osamu slowly relearns who he knew Suna as AHHH. The ending, again UGH, I really loved it and their banter with one another.

The Study of Suna Rintarou by DeathBelle (T) 6.1k // PLEASE the way Osamu kept getting offended omg. But also the effort Suna puts into getting to know Osamu, I was in ~love~. Read to me Osamu, READ TO ME. But also the Osamu is an oblivious MF agenda is alive and well within this fic hehe.

Take a Hint by pancake_surprise (G) 2.3k // ok so I had just read a tumbr post about the one bed thing and then I saw this fic. It was like the stars aligned okay? I was like, ig I HAVE to read it now hehe. But seriously read it, it’s cute and like everything else, of course there’s a challenge to be made LOL.

Heatwave by pancake_surprise (G) 2.1k // the way they were dating without knowing they were dating man. The tag ‘Didn't Know They Were Dating‘ more accurate than the ‘first dates’ one LOL jk but actually tho am I kidding? It’s the first official one IG. LOL anyway, we do love the doin of the defining of relationships. Yup.

If you made it all the way down here, CONGRATS LOL. Like I said, I didn’t read all of them (sadly) and these were the ones i did read LOL. I might add more depending on whether I can motivate myself into reading fics I know will be good LOL so we’ll see heh. Honestly, I thought I was gonna get word counted, but YAY we finished (for now hehe). Also sorry for any possible typos (is this no beta we die like men?) I’m running on 90 min of sleep so my engrish be strugglin LOL. Be safe and wear masks :)

[badlydrawndrawnings]

A take I been trying to put into words since December

Canonically, Haru says she won’t forgive Goro, but she knows how he feels when it comes to their fathers. So like, in my interpretation of the Engine Room Scene (ERS) and beyond with the idea Goro is dead, to summarize a quote something from my Kamen Rider fandom days (I usually apply this to all the PT honestly), they will never forgive Goro but would willingly put flowers on Goro’s grave...if Goro had one. Imagine a group of teens and a cat placing flowers at the National Diet they’ll get weird looks.

So, when it comes to Goro and being alive post ERS (I hate the whole Schrodinger Goro situation Atlus did just accept the mess you created) I am a bit lenient on fan art and fanfiction that has Haru forgiving Goro, in part because the fan works I seen this happening are usually set several years after Persona 5 (or just a few years). There’s usually a natural off-screen development of Haru’s feeling changing and forgiving Goro (or show it in its glory).

I personally don’t think they can be friends even if/when Haru forgives Goro but I do think that eventually, they can hold a normal conversation with one another without too many hard feelings. But my hot take isn’t about this route. My hot take is that I don’t like fanart and fanfiction of Haru being over the top violent to Goro that borderlines has her murdering him. Look, I can see a punch or a slap, but I legitimately��can’t see Haru randomly decides to pull out a weapon and pretty much leaving him for almost dead or actually dead.

Yes, Haru as a sadistic side, but remember that Haru tried talking to Goro during the ERS in hopes he can make a second to last life changing moment when Cognitive!Goro showed up. And in Royal, Haru is glad that Goro (Real or Not it’s a Goro) took responsibility for his actions and seems to be at peace with it. This peace allowed her to perfectly willing to work with him again like she would have done if Cognitive!Goro haven’t shown up. A Haru who made peace certainly won’t do anything violent on a person who admits responsibility for his actions.

And it makes sense. Haru never wanted her dad dead, and doesn’t want to kill anymore for that ‘justice’. Haru knows her dad is honestly really shitty or most of her teenage life (maybe pre-teen too my timeline is jumble up at the moment). Not only that, Haru knows her dad used his future killer to order breakdowns and/or shutdowns to fuel his goals of reaching the top (and that engagement to Sugimura was made for a reason).

So it bothers me to hell and back to see people basically turning Haru into a murderer who is killing Goro for ‘justice’. I do enjoy the idea that Haru can hurt Goro, but for me it can’t include violence at all.

This is part two to this post here, but you don’t actually need to read it for this.

This really makes sense if Goro decides to show up alive and working the Shadow Ops in another spinoff. Goro can’t go to regular jail for his mostly supernatural crimes I figure after getting revealing to be alive and getting busted on a non-supernatural crime the Shadow Ops did their research and pull strings to get Goro serve time under their heavy watch look it’s the best option I can think of okay.

Haru may have peace with everything that Goro done but it’s freaking hard to keep it up like he was dead and now he’s not. She slap him and that didn’t really a reaction from Goro (not help it’s totally random) and Haru has some standards she doesn’t want to beat up Goro she’s scare she may kill him and Haru doesn’t want to have blood on her hand.

Words can be sharper than the sword (or ax blade) and Haru decides to guilt trip Goro about her father’s death. She sometimes ‘mock’ Goro and Shido’s own father-son relationship at times and brings up Shido a lot and compare her to her good memories of Okumura Sr, but it slowly starts to work less and less to where Goro doesn’t reaction (his reactions are of annoyance and anger and that’s good enough for Haru). And it turns out Goro made peace with what Cognitive!Goro said in the ERS about himself, with him accepting he just wanted to ruin Shido’s career and life at the end of the dad there’s not a real personal emotional stake there anymore.

Haru is now like, super annoyed with this development and keeps it to herself until it builds up over time. She ends up deciding to take jab at Goro’s dead mother about her life choice or career when Goro got visitation rights to visit Joker (the others are curious to see how Goro is under this heavy watch so they always tag along). it’s something so harsh and nasty that basically it’s something a real rich bitch who thinks poorly of sex workers would say. So obviously, this hidden rich bitch inside Haru that she didn't even know exist says it out of annoyance/anger, and Haru is at first happy. She got through his armor at last.

And it’s going terribly wrong. Goro and Joker (this only works with Joker and Royal Knowledge of Goro’s past) are fighting and Goro is cursing at him Goro said that they cross a line he thought they would never do given some of the PT member’s own past with their mothers. Goro is all pissed at Joker for allowing this to happen ‘it was personal and sensitive and you made it out to be a sick joke like almost everyone else’ and Goro storms out of whatever they out and Joker goes after him and everyone is just ‘WTF JUST HAPPEN’. They’re thinking about what Goro said about his mother in the ERS and they’re come to the conclusion Goro told Joker something important that they don’t even know.

Joker and Goro are soon back but Goro isn’t willing to be in the same room at the moment until it gets clear up. Joker tells them all that Goro told Joker personal and sensitive information and Goro thought Joker told them all and was under the conclusion they possibly hypocrites and had some double standard when it came to mothers who don’t fit society standards and careers.

The PT is freaking out now, and Joker tells them Goro’s mom was a prostitute. Shido was a client, and the two decided to have something more, leading to Goro’s birth, and Joker explains how she tried to basically work part time for Goro’s sake. Everyone is taking it in slowly because ‘this is heavy’. Haru is freaking the f*ck out and tells Joker that she didn’t know she swears on her life. Everyone is trying to calm down Haru because they believe her but they realize it’s just a matter of the PT trying to convince Goro they don’t know and aren’t judgmental of Goro’s mother choice of career. And like, Goro decides to tell them that he knows now and they decide to not bring up the subject again out of respect for his mother (it helps Goro tells them that he never blamed his mother and her career for his situation it was just Shido only and Goro overreacted).

This is now awkward as hell territory because we have the supernatural hitman  that is Goro who killed two of the PT’s parents and unintentionally cruel shaming of a prostitute from Haru and everyone can see they don’t want to even be in the same room anymore. Goro and Haru don’t talk or interact with each other than a few ‘hello’ or ‘goodbye’. It gets real bad where Goro bails out more than Haru. And Ryuji -who from the link above would be the one who makes the first move on forgiving Goro sans Joker- tells Haru that Goro still thinks at times they’re talking shit about his mother behind his back and Ryuji is trying get Goro to understand they aren’t they all mutually agree they’ll just roast Goro and Shido.

The message eventually gets across because Haru apologizes about disrespecting Goro’s mother (she explains she’s not apologizing to Goro per say just his mother) and Goro accepts it. Haru and Goro go back on their usual terms: awkward conversations that aren’t longer than five sentences that are safe and boring topics like weather, food (which Haru realize food is Goro’s go to topic it’s a real safety net), and coffee. On one topic about food Goro slips up and mentions his mother and her ‘cooking’ (which is just her microwaving food yes it’s an anime detail but it works with Royal info of her). Haru ends up telling Goro -and I say this because there is little information of Mrs. Okumura- that she has no idea if her mom is dead or alive (Haru tells him she thinks her mom is dead), which is why she is -was- close to her father. It another level of awkward and they carry on the topic as if it never happen.

So eventually Haru decides that enough is enough and she needs to get a better picture of her dad’s action with the conspiracy. Haru tears off the bandage and asks Goro to talk about her father when he was working with Shido’s conspiracy, and everyone starts to freak out. Goro even wars her that what her dad did could really change her perspective. Haru doesn’t care and just wants to know all the dirt her father had and the group itself if Goro has to tell.

It takes several weeks/months because they’re not in each other presence 24/7 anymore, but Goro eventually keeps his end of the bargain. He tells every dirty secret the conspiracy had and what they order for Goro to do, and her dad has a something of a list (and the nude Wild Duck Burger Worker makes sense now Haru actually asks Goro if she can reveal this to the others it’s just...wild and Goro agrees to it). At the end of airing the laundry Haru thanks Goro and tells him she needs to think it all over.

When they meet up again -could be a year or two or more; Goro’s ‘time’ prevents from being free to do whatever 24/7- Haru and Goro have a real solo talk with one another without the other PT members interfering and being nosy. And it turns out that Goro did his own thinking as well.

So Goro reaffirms Haru’s thoughts that he will never apologized for Okumura Sr’s death (Haru suspects this will never actually change). Haru is shock to learn that Goro will however, apologized for taking Haru’s chance to properly make sense of her feelings of her dad post-change of heart and whether or not she wanted to truly forgive him post-change of heart. Goro even says this was partly inspired by Haru’s own apology about his mother’s career and Haru owning up to her actions because Haru could have kept it under the bridge but didn’t, and Goro realize he can do it too.

On Haru’s side of the conversation, she admits that with this much time to think things over and what she learn of her father, what she hates the most of her father’s death (other than a possible second chance with the idealize father Haru remembers from her childhood) is that she can never properly get to tell him her feelings and his wrongdoings towards her. Sure Haru can say it to a photo of him or his grave/urn, but it’s not the same as saying it to his face. Haru had that much anger (and hate) towards her had for a long time and felt rob, and she is glad that Goro recognizes his actions at last and is apologizing for that at least.

In a way, that helps Haru realize she can slowly forgive Goro, and says it as much. But she makes it clear they are never going to be friends, and Goro is fine with that; he just wants their situation to be more civil than before. And then they go on the topic of food like always and Haru makes plans for everyone to eat at a Big Bang Burger restaurant because Goro let it slip that he never ate there and Haru is almost insulted that Goro ‘worked’ for Okumura Foods (it’s a stretch and they both know it) and never tried a product before. 

Honestly this is just my interpretation of how Haru and Goro evolution of their no-way-they’ll-become-friends-but-will-be-okay-in-each-other-presence-relationship would be without the violent takes but the harshness of the violent takes like we need some drama but not a murder drama.

[fyx-ation]

So, I just got around to beating Kingdom Hearts 3

Yeah, I’m late to the party, but it took them 13 years to make this... thing... And my urgency to play it came and went over a decade ago. The following dump may contain spoilers and corn. I’ve barely digested this game, so I’ll just let whatever pops into my head splatter out on the keyboard where it may.

Who is this game for exactly? You might say, oh, people who played the other games. They’re in their 30s or 40s now but age doesn’t hinder interest in video games. Case in point, I’m 40. I played the first two games and Birth by Sleep. I tried Chain of Memories but it was... not good. I bought the DS game, 358 2 Days, but never played it. It’s actually still in the wrapper. Oops. I never played Dream Drop Distance. I own the collections that came out for the PS3 a few years back.

This game isn’t for that audience, really. The dumpster fire that is the Kingdom Hearts plot gets pretty dark and tragic and so convoluted that you need to open a wiki or youtube dissection video to understand it. And at the same time, all of the levity is sucked out of it by Donald Duck and Goofy being Donald Duck and Goofy. The big bad Xehanort wants to erase everything and start the world over, hyuk. 

This design has not aged well. I was in my early 20s when I played the first game, and I took the game for what it was--a weird mashup of DIsney and Square. The subject matter wasn’t very heavy. Awkward, spikey-haired protag joins forces with (sigh) Donald Duck and Goofy to save different kingdoms from the Heartless.

But then the story just got out of control. Over the course of several console and -ugh- phone games, about 20-30 or more characters are introduced, and that’s not including the Disney characters. For every game, about 5 new plot threads are introduced. The gravity of the situation, the main plot of stopping Xehanort, is strangled by the mounting unresolved plot threads. They just keep weaving together until you’re left apathetic yet still somehow thirsty for a conclusion.

You won’t get one. The end of KH3 is one giant slap in the balls, and I don’t have balls. My phantom testicles cried out like baked potatoes in the microwave when I watched the final cutscenes and post credits sequence. Just... wtf is this shit? Are you seriously not going to resolve more than half the shit presented to us over two decades? You’re seriously going to end it like that? A teaser for some new saga? You think I give a shit now, after you did this to my phantom nuts?

So, who is this game for? Well, considering they sucked about 95% of the Final Fantasy element out of the game but pumped it full of Disney commercials, you might say, Oh, it’s for kids. You’d be half right.

Let’s say the target audience is kids 15 and younger. They’re not going to have a clue what’s going on with the story. They might have played the collections which had some summaries of the story. They might have resorted to youtube and wiki for some explanations. If your game needs that much effort, I’m just going to assume that the audience is still going to be lost as hell on the story.

The Disney kingdoms are just there for fan service. In previous games, you had a purpose and a mission on each one. In 3, it feels like you’re steered toward them to watch a commercial. Sora’s only mission is to learn the “power of waking” (that’s KH babble for deus ex machina) and Organization XIII members show up to fart out some vague story bits. Other than that, he doesn’t really have a purpose being on any of those worlds. He never learns the power of waking, and it’s half-heartedly implied that his experience has made him stronger. It’s never implicitly explained or shown that he’s regained his memories or found new powers.

In a lot of the worlds, Sora is bearing witness to the actual plots of the Disney movies. The wildest part of this is that if you haven’t watched the movies, you would be lost on what is actually going on. The Kingdom of Corona was the first big offender. A lot of stuff happens off screen, and if you have not seen Tangled, it’s not going to make a lot of sense, regardless of how old you are.

You pretty much have to watch the Toy Story franchise, Tangled, Frozen, Big Hero Six, the first three Pirates of the Caribbean, etc. to be able to process what is going on because the story depends on it. It doesn’t stand up on its own.

That’s a lot of homework for a kid, if kids are the target audience.

That’s probably my biggest beef with the game--it’s tone deaf. If you peel apart the story and expose the potential outline underneath, it could be appropriate for all ages. But it’s layered with far too many characters, good and bad. It’s smothered with over five games worth of unresolved plot. And it’s coated in sugary Disney sweetness to appeal to kids (I guess???).

As for combat, it’s marginally improved, though I still felt like I spent more time flailing at enemies far away from me than was necessary. I think KH2 and Birth by Sleep were better, satisfaction-wise. The carnival rides were a bit much. They were overpowered and didn’t feel earned. I think I used links maybe six times in my entire playthrough (which means I only saw some of them once).

There are tons of mini games. Some are fun. Some are tedious. Flying the Gummi ship is super counter-intuitive, and I only became relatively good at it when I just started flying around destroying rocks for keyblade upgrade materials.I never bothered making my own custom ship, which is something I really enjoyed in previous games.

The game is beautiful. It’s never looked so good. But shiny, pretty graphics do not a good game make. Same goes for the music.

I’m sure I could continue ranting, but I think I made my point. I’m not sure who this game’s for, but if you have any inclination to play it or to introduce the series to someone, maybe don’t. It doesn’t leave me with any satisfaction for having played it. It introduces even more bullshit just to tease a new series (like, legit, you’ll see a couple old Disney villains talking about something THROUGHOUT the game and it goes no where). 

I... just want resolutions. Is that so difficult?

Instead, I have to imagine an ice pack for my imaginary balls.

[fighterfortheforgotten]

PINOF Through the Ages

ah, November, that special time of year between halloween and christmas where i can buy “fun sized” (read “thumb sized”) chocolate bars and tinsel in the same aisle at walmart…

it’s also that time of year where members of the phandom, young and old, come together and collectively binge watch all the PINOF videos in preparation for the newest installment, as we wait with bated breath for what fresh hell we’re gonna be hit with this year.

today, i would like to share with you my observations of PINOF Through The Years, as we embark on the fucking trip that is sure to be PINOF 9…

Phil is not on fire (25 October 2009)

- can you IMAGINE what the hell Phil’s parents and/or brother must’ve thought when they were filming that/saw it for the first time?! Phil brings home this random kid he found in a train station and they start giggling like actual 12 year olds and wandering round the house talking about The Shining, using the exercise equipment Phil has probably never stepped foot on in his life, and drawing on their faces in sharpie? i can fucking HEAR Kath saying “Phil…honey…are you on the drugs?” and Martyn cackling like a lunatic in the background at his brother and his weird friend….

- Dan is trying so. damn. hard. not to laugh throughout the entire video.

- Speaking of Dan, even back then he was a sassy, cocky lil shit… “every animal makes that noise with you…” “wow Phil, i bet they’re all so glad they can see the diagram…” “no, okay, Phil has really crappy GHDs that don’t even work…they don’t even work…they are Poundland GHDs.”

- everyone always talks about The Tackle™ at the end of the video, but not NEARLY enough people talk about the lil smirk Phil gives the camera just before it…like, seriously?! that’s a “haha, here goes nothing!” kinda smirk. thats a “lol watch this!” kinda smirk. thats a “give the people what they want” kinda smirk…im just sayin’…

Phil is not on fire 2 (29 May 2010)

- okay, first of all, Dan…sweetheart…did you borrow that cardigan from your mum?

- Dan: “if you could choose which surname you had, what would be your decision?” Phil: “…umm…” *almost imperceptible but still definitely there jumpcut* Phil: “Striker!”….yeah, yeah, yeah, alright, everyone knows that Phil really said “yours” in an incredibly sheepish and embarrassed voice to Dan that made him go “awwww!….you’re cutting that out…”, but lets appreciate the editing skills it took to make the cut so completely (almost) seamless….

- oh. my. GOD! there is an ENTIRE post JUST about the microwave moment, but i have to reiterate it again for those who have recently entered this hellscape: imagine you are Phil Lester, a 23 year old adult with an ENGLISH LANGUAGE DEGREE, and in comes this adorable 18 year old twink trying to tell you that “microwave” is a fucking onomatopoeia! if i was Phil, THIS would be the moment i’d never let Dan live down. fuck “hello internet”, if he ever pissed me off i’d just be like “yeah, well, at least i know microwave isn’t a fucking onomatopoeia…” and walk away. argument done, you win every time.

- and that being said, again, lets appreciate how much we can learn from the facial expressions of Philip Michael Lester. in that moment, the look he gives Dan is pure “are you fucking serious…?” it is incredulity in a nutshell. it is shock and fondness and “oh my god you are such a twat…”. if there were a dictionary of facial expressions, Phil’s face at the moment Dan says fucking microwave is his favourite onomatopoeia would be the one next to the definition of “wtf?”

Phil is not on fire 3 (1 November 2011)

- 2011 was, by far, the WORST year for Dan and Phil’s hair. tragic. absolutely tragic…

- wow, Dan was right, every animal DOES make the same noise to Phil, including horrific genetic hybrids of land and sea mammals…

- Dan’s ability to almost unhinge his jaw is terrifying…and i’m sure has played a part in lots of phanfic that i’m definitely not going to look for ever…

- okay, seriously guys?! the word is vagina. say it with me: vagina. come on! all together now! it’s not a *awkward silence and weird hand gesture*, it’s not a “birth area", it’s just a vagina…for someone who knows so much about placenta, it strikes me as odd that Dan can’t say the word vagina out loud…

- i’ve never heard anyone giggle as much as Dan does in this video…

Phil is not on fire 4 (12 September 2012)

- the hair is better this year…slightly…

- whoever decided that those face mask things were a good idea needs to be buried alive…the way they look when they move is so horrifying, it gives me nightmares.

- the “gu-hoy!” noise Dan makes in this video (ts 3:21 if you’re at all interested) is my text alert on my phone and it makes me panic every time i watch it because im like “wtf is someone texting me for at 11:53 pm?!” but then i realize it’s just the video and that i’m actually still very alone and have no friends…

- (bloopers bonus!) petition to have 2012 be known in the phandom as, ‘The Year Dan Was Finally Comfortable With The Word Vagina’. that’s all it was guys! he learned a new word and just wanted to show how broad his vocabulary had become!

Phil is not on fire 5 (22 November 2013)

- and right off the bat we’re affronted again by the fact that Dan and Phil have zero concept of how female anatomy works….

- this is probably the most uneventful pinof in the entire series.

Phil is not on fire 6 (6 November 2014)

- to return to the hair discourse, i firmly maintain that 2014 was the best year for their haircuts/styles.

- Phil has no concept of what a sassy face is…

- #StopPhil201X needs to just be a recurring thing every year…

- that poor, poor snake…

- petition for Dan to sing the national anthem at every tour stop in 2018

- the idea of Dan trying to carry on the legacy of Phil Is Not On Fire after Phil’s death is so damn heartbreaking to me…i need a minute

- my lil demon soul is convinced that Phil was doing *something* to Dan’s neck when they both tried to fit through that sweater…i mean, look at his face when he laughs and says “stop". seriously?!

- something about Dan with his fringe swapped, on the wrong side of the bed, and wearing Phil’s shirt makes me feel almost uncomfortable, but in a way that i’m not entirely sure how to process…

- (bloopers bonus!) to reiterate! every animal does, in fact, make the same noise to Phil. this has now been confirmed 3 times.

- (bloopers bonus!) the amount of pleasure Phil is able to derive from any mention of Hello Internet warms the deepest recesses of my soul like the light of the sun after a 1000 year winter.

Phil is not on fire 7 (29 November 2015)

- uh, excuse me? do not drag my country in such a way. Canada is indeed real. it’s where maple syrup comes from. as someone who enjoys the simplicity of a good pancake, i expected better from you Mr. Philip.

- i feel so bad for their neighbours during the stress mushroom tug of war…like, can you imagine what those poor people must’ve thought of them? i’d love to interview their neighbours one day…better yet, their neighbours should write a book: “I Lived Next To YouTubers For 5 Years: The Adventure" and just have it be a chronicle of every weird thing they ever witnessed/encountered.

- with every passing year, Dan’s knowledge of fanfiction tropes and writing styles becomes increasingly disturbing…hide the smut everyone Daniel Howell is coming for it.

- Phil! with the puns! honestly Dan, how do you put up with this man?

- (bloopers bonus!) the way dans voice changes when he grabs Phils underwear and is just ENTHRALLED with the fact that he’s colour coordinates his boxers to his bedsheets is probably the single most disgusting thing i have ever witnessed in my entire life…i mean, i love it, but why are you SO EXTRA?!

Phil is not on fire 8 (29 November 2016)

- NOTHING in the animal or cutlery kingdoms should be born or created in the way Phil describes the birthing process of a spork!

- okay. OKAY! i love the fringes, i really do. i’m a fringe fan from way back, but the hair pushed back thing they get going on sometimes? i can get on board with that.

- aaaannd at 1:57 into pinof 8, the little game i like to play called “Phan or Viktuuri" had all of its lines blurred so far beyond recognition i’m not even sure which universe i’m living in anymore.

- the PSA for “staying hydrated"…such a harmless, and beautiful message about health and self care that the phandom managed to turn into a sex meme…but no one is surprised by that now, are they?

- i need to know why that stock photo exists in the first place…also, why the hell was Phil wearing sandals in November?

- (bloopers bonus!) Phil: “phil is not on fire 8! this time its…what the tagline?” the phandom: “…gayer than ever?” Dan: “full of regrets.” the phandom: “…i mean I GUESS!!!”

- (bloopers bonus!) everything about this blooper reel just confirms even more solidly that Dan is the biggest Phil fan in the world. i’m not gonna wax poetic about the compliments or the comparisons to sunshine or anything else, because at this point is it really necessary? no. i thought not.

and there we have it. just in time for PINOF 9 to be released, a full (and much more in depth than intended) recap of the saga thus far…wake me up when Gamingmas starts, cuz after this video comes out, i’m gonna need a solid week of sleep

[hannahberrie]

hi! love your work! can you write a fic where el and hopper learn to cook together?

Sure thing! 

Whenever You Need SomebodyWC: 1128

It started when El was digging through the cabin’s crawlspace, again.

Hopper had advised her against digging around in there, but then again, when had El ever really listened to anything he said? Never, evidently.

It’s a rainy, weekend night and Hopper is sitting in front of the TV, listening to the newscaster half-heartedly announce that the thunderstorms are supposed to continue throughout the night and well into tomorrow.

Hopper lets out a long, heavy sigh just as El comes to sit beside him on the couch.

“What’s wrong?” El asks curiously, hands behind her back.

“The damn rain,” Hopper grumbles in reply, motioning to the TV, “The river’s already flooded over enough as it is.”

“Oh,” El replies, voice light with indifference. It’s then that Hopper realizes she has some ulterior motives of some kind — it’s the only explanation for the way she’s biting her lip, rocking in place, and keeping her hands behind her back.

“Alright, kid,” Hopper smiles, eyeing her carefully, “What do you want?”

El gives him an excited smile as she reveals what she’s been hiding behind her back this entire time: a cookbook. It’s an old, weathered, sorry excuse for a cookbook, still covered in dust from being tucked away in the crawlspace for so long. It belonged to Hopper’s mother as some point, was given to Hopper and Diane as a wedding present, and was promptly forgotten once…everything else happened.

“I want to learn to cook!” El beams, holding up the book to him.

Hopper eyes the book with hesitation. “Why?”

“It’d be fun!”

“You’re getting sick of my Triple-Decker Extravaganza already?” Hopper questions, only half-joking.

“No!” El exclaims, “But…I want to learn more stuff too. I was at Mike’s house, and his mom taught me how to make some things. I want to learn more.”

Hopper considers trying to argue against the idea, but he’s spent enough time with El to know that it’d only be futile. Once she has her mind set to something, it’s essentially set in stone.

“Fine,” he sighs, begrudgingly pulling himself up from the couch, “What do you wanna make?”

“Pizza!” El chimes, following him into the kitchen.

“Pizza?” Hopper echoes, frowning.

“Mmm hmm!” El nods, already flipping to the corresponding page in the cookbook.

“Why?”

“It’s good!” El shrugs, “And our cabin is too far for the pizza-man to drive to, I checked.”

“Fine then,” Hopper gives in, pushing up the sleeves of his shirt as he prepares himself. He hasn’t cooked anything more elaborate than microwaves dinners, frozen waffles, and French toast in years, so he doesn’t have a good feeling about this, to put it lightly. Then again, El isn’t exactly the expert chef herself, so they’re kinda together in this.

El gets out the ingredients they need, and the next half-hour is a floury, tomato-y, cheesy mess. El rolls out the dough and tries to flip it in the air like she’s seen on TV, but that only results in the crust getting stuck on the ceiling. They only get it down when El uses her powers to lower it, blushingly apologizing the entire time.

By the time they finish assembling their pizza (a simple cheese one, nothing extravagant), their cheeks are smeared with tomato sauce and their hands are covered in flour. Despite their laborious attempts, they couldn’t get the dough rolled out into a perfect circle.

“I hope you like egg-shaped pizza,” Hopper says wryly, sliding the pizza into the oven.

El giggles, munching on a few extra remnants of mozzarella cheese as she leans against the counter. “It’s going to be perfect!” She insists, “Even if it’s shaped like an egg.”

“That’s the spirit,” Hopper snorts, walking over to her. He gives her hair an affectionate ruffle, consequently causing her brown locks to become dusted with flour.

“Hey!” El exclaims, raising her hands to cover her hair, but the action only causes her hair to become even furthered floured.

“That’s what you get,” Hopper jokes, “For getting dough on the ceiling.”

“I got most of it off,” El grumbles, crossing her arms across her chest.

“Yeah, most,” Hopper replies dryly.

El gives him a reluctant smile. As the rain continues to pour outside, her mood seems to darken accordingly. She glances over her shoulder, gaze piercing though the window and into the inky black night, evidently brooding over something.

Her change in behavior is so sudden, it takes Hopper by surprise. When she turns back to look at him, he notices the shadow that’s passed over her face, the sorrowful way she glances at her feet.

Something’s obviously not right.

“What’s wrong, kid?” Hopper asks concernedly.

“It’s just…” El begins hesitantly, “I feel weird.”

“Weird?” Hopper repeats, feeling slightly anxious. Jesus, where was this going? He’s starting to get an idea, since El’s a teenage girl, after all, and he knew this conversation would be popping up sooner or later, but he wasn’t expecting it quite so soon.

“Mike and I have been…arguing lately,” El mumbles.

“Oh,” Hopper replies, unable to stop himself from sighing in relief, because thank god, they’re not having that conversation yet. Then what conversation they’re actually having hits him, and he finds himself tensing up again. “Oh?” Hopper repeats, more strongly, more accusingly.

“We’ve known each other for so long,” El says ruefully, “But my heart is aching. I’ve been to shy to say it, but—“

“But what?” Hopper frowns.

“I’m worried,” El admits, “I feel like he’s getting bored of me.”

“Bored of you?” Hopper balks. The idea is completely ludicrous to him. Ever since the Snowball, Mike’s been trailing El around like a lovesick puppy. Hopper could hardly keep the two apart for more than two days at a time.

El seems oblivious to this as she’s still pouting in an endearingly heart-breaking sort of way.

“Listen, kid,” Hopper sighs, kneeling down so that he’s at El’s eye level, “Mike isn’t going to get bored of you.”

“Really?” El asks hopefully, glancing up at him.

“Really,” Hopper nods, “I see the way he looks at you, okay? He’s crazy about you. He’s never gonna give you up. He’s never gonna let you down. He’s never gonna run around and desert you. He’s never gonna make you cry, he’s never gonna say goodbye, he’s never gonna tell and lie and hurt you.”

El blinks up at Hopper, eyes filled with happy tears. Without a doubt, those are the most comforting words she’s ever heard. “Thank you!” She beams, completely 100%-ly happier.

She flings her arms around Hopper’s neck, pulling him into a hug, and as Hopper hugs her back, he knows that he’s the best dad ever and WTF this fic is a meme lol the end

SURPRISE BITCHES! 

If you are not ross: please please please for the love of god, reblog this. please pretend that this is a normal fic. I worked really hard on this prank and this is going to be amazing if Ross (strange-thangs) actually falls for it. please reblog it with some fake ass BS like ‘wow!!! this is so cute!’ ‘great job!’ ‘gotta love some el and hop fluff’ wHATEVER YOU WANT. JUST MAKE IT SOUND REAL. I GOTTA PRANK ROSS. 

if you are ross: HAHAHHAA PUNK I FUCKING GOT YOU. I SKIPPED HOMEWORK FOR THIS. I SENT THIS PROMPT TO MYSELF. I CONSPIRED WITH LUCY. I WROTE THIS. BEAT THIS YOU AVOCADO FOOL. ACTUALLY JUST GIVE UP NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO WIN THIS RICK-ROLL WAR. THE TITLE OF THE FIC IS THE TITLE OF THE ABLUM THAT THE RICK ROLL SONG IS FROM AHAHHAHAHAHHA

[tumblunni]

AWW WTF TOKYO MIRAGE SESSIONS MADE ME FEEL ACTUAL FEELINGS

Its kinds stupid how every single girl has a contrived 'go on a fake date' scene with protag, and all the dialogue choices are pointless cos even if you fuck up and act like an asshole forever all these girls will still wanna jump your dick just cos youre the protag. And also it sucks that like HALF OF THE PARTY only joins super close to the end of the main story, and you wont really get to know them very well unless you go nah to the apocolypse and waste 10 hours doing sidequests. And it also sucks that you have to unlock these sidequests via battling. Like it could have been cool that using people in your party raises their friendship stat, but in practise it just means grinding for hours after youve finished all the actual story content. Like sidequests are supposed to be generally a good way to grind up in between story!

ALSO theoretically the date with Eleonora SHOULD be just as bad as the rest. Like it sounds super shitty that she has to 'learn how to be a normal girl in love' in order to progress her career in showbiz, and apparantly she's never been interested in boys before protag shows her ~the real way~ Like man invoking unfortunate implications of LGBT conversion therapy isnt a good way to start a romance! And its rather repetitive when EVERYONE ELSE also has to go on fake dates with him, and Kiria also has the same 'i need to learn how to be Real Girl from your magical healing dick'. But its even more frustrating with her cos it actually literally is You Are Not Girl.Enough, and it came out of NOWHERE because she wasnt remotely tomboyish?? Like she's just..tough?? Tomboy = being stoic while also wearing super revealimg supermodel high heels and lingerie in battle, apparantly. And its so patronizing cos she's all uwuuuu protagoniiiist i need to be giiiirl~ Like super cutesy moe moe stereotype all of a sudden and of course it was her Real Personality and she was just keepinh it hidden because of all that societal pressure to be gender non conforming, of course! Help her embrace her true stereotypicality and cast away those absolutely minimal traits of non conformism! And then a creepily sexualized scene of her wearing a hello kitty mascot suit in a kids show. And speaking of which its so creepy they sexualize the actual kid too!! Theres a fucking ELEVEN YEAR OLD idol! And her manager 'uncle barry' keeps acting like a creepy pervy stalker fan and she's always all 'i love uncle barry he cares about me so much' and theres like multiple sidequests all about how uncle barry is great and she needs to appreciate him more. But serioisly are we just forgetting he was creeping over a keychain of her?? Like he was introduced so much before we ever saw her and from the pervy way he acted i thought she was meant to be some full grown woman in a gravure show rather than a goddamn 11 year old doing a microwave snacks cooking show with a muppet called microwave chan. And gahh when i saw her design i thought she was 15 at least! And everyone else looks in their 20s but apparantly theyre all underage too and the one who looks like an actual teenager is ELEVEN! they just casually drop in her profile that she's ELEVEN! a guy is perving on an eleven year old and we're meant to appreciate him more as a wholesome uncle???

...man..okay.. Anyway..

The game has a lot of creepy pervy moments BUT one bit in Eleonora's final date did make me feel a minor bit of genuine chemistry there. Or well, just a good romance dialogue from herand still zero personality or likeability from the actual protagonist. Alas!

Ok so it actually kinda sounds just as bad, tho. Out of context the idea of 'here's a quiz about everything we did in the previous dates' sounds kinda abusive. But in context its somehow adorable and wholesome?? Cos Ellie is the tsundere type, but she's one of the least assholish tsunderes ever. If the game wasnt constantly being all 'SHES SO RUDE AND UNGIRLY' and 'BLABLABLA RACISM' at her, i'd even say she's the most naturally written and likeable character! So in the context here its less "i will punish you for not being constantly the perfect boyfriend" and more "i genuinely cant believe you actually like me and im trying to run thru all the evidence in rapid fire while i have a conniption right here". Like man i wish protag had more personality cos its so annoying that he's super oblivious to her going into massive blush mode as she realizes he's ~so considerate and genuinely treasured all those dates~. Except he isnt, he's bland as fuck and gave no indication that he returned her feelings before now, or gave a shit about any of the stuff he apparantly remembered. And he only remembers because you the player did. And you can forget it all and get every question wrong and NOTHING CHANGES! i feel so sorry for her cos even if protag is a big douche she still decides he really does love her and it ends exactly the same.. GAHHHHH

POOR ELLIEEEEeee

So man even tho it was badly executed, i do still like the idea of a "w-wh-whaa, how can you love me?! Prove it with a 5 page thesis!" type moment with an adorkable grump! I might try and work in something similar with my oc Gremory! :3 (tho for him itd be a friendship/family version, not dating sim)

[justkpopjokes]

Werewolf! Cheol. ANGSTY FLUFF ASDFGHJKL

A/N: Jesus Kylie we’re going to die together prepare the grave aLSO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I was really uncontent with the ending, and the angst level isn’t too high but hopefully wolf cub Cheol makes up for it(?)

So I’ve never written a werewolf au

But eh who cares about werewolves

I mean you think it’s just a stupid fairy tale that people rumor are true (I mean people are finding evidence they’re real but that can’t be true can it?)

Like hahaha tf??😂😂😂 Humans that turn into wolves during the full moon? Lmao

Also wolves scare you but anyway

And then there’s Seungcheol who just

Wtf are normal humans???

So basically

Seungcheol grew up as a werewolf

He was bitten as a child poor smol

His parents didn’t know what to do, so they abandoned him

He was roaming the streets alone

But luckily FULL MOON TONIGHT

He goes through this painful fit on the ground, but the pain goes away after a few seconds(?)

He’s just like wait wut why can’t I stand on my legs?

Do I have legs???

What is this thing on my face?? It’s called a muzzle sweetie

“So I’m a wolf now?” yea boiiii

GURAE WOLF NAEGA WOLF AWOOOOO k sorry moving on

And so our smol wolfie was found by other werewolves when he howled

And they took him in even after the full moon was over

So he lives with werewolves now!!!

Which makes him kinda…savage? Basically he isn’t really used to human etiquette

He grew up as a wolf ok, his werewolf parents didn’t teach him much human stuff

They thought it would be best if he didn’t come in contact with humans

And for a while, they were right

He was better off away from people, growing up in the woods

Away from (normal) human communication

And with the exception of his weird wolf family,

Forever alone

…well…maybe not forever

He has the keep reading bar as his friend

He’s been away from the cities all his life

And now he’s in his late teens

And you know what happens in your late teens

You don’t want to face adulthood be alone

Seungcheol is curious to know how regular humans live

And this guy…well you know he doesn’t give up

So one night, once his family is asleep, he sneaks out of his family’s cottage in the woods and goes to the city

Once he gets out of the forest, he notices how the city is so lighted up

Like it’s shouting “Come here, Seungcheol!”

Ofc our guy goes to the city

Just so happens that you’re out too

You’re out because you can’t sleep relatable

And even though you need to get up early tomorrow, at least you have time to study right? Ha yeah right

So you’re on your way to a 24-hour-wherever to get coffee or a drink or a place to read

So you’re walking around the streets when you see this guy wiTH RIPPED CLOTHES AND LOTS OF SCARS?? WHO’S KIND OF BLEEDING???

Obviously you’re scARED TO DEATH LIKE WHAT THE HECK IS HE GOING TO KILL ME but also v concerned bc “you poor thing…what happened to you?”

So you walk over to the tall guy and tap his shoulder when he’s looking at graffiti

And he just jumps back and screams. Roars? No growls. He growls.

Eureureong eureureong ay

Cue you screaming at his scarred face

After you two recover you’re just staring at each other while he’s on the ground sitting like a dog

You think it looks really weird but like what the heck is this grown man doing with his life, he’s muscular af but looks like he just survived a war

“Uh—um…are…are you okay…?”

“Uh…Yes?”

“What’s your name?”

“…s…Seung…Cheol…”

K lemme just mention how Cheol has limited speaking skills, bc his parents only taught him basic words in case of emergency

(I’m guessing they just…growl to communicate? They really don’t like humanity okay like no speaking in this household)

But you take the quiet guy him home to clean his wounds

Whenever you try to disinfect the scrapes on his leg he yelps like crazy so eventually, you get tired and stop

Well…there’s a scarred man on your couch, all you can do is try to feed him

“Listen, I don’t have much food…any allergies?”

He just tilts his head and raises an eyebrow

“Aller…gy?”

“What, have you been living in the woods all your life? Yes I said allergy”

“Yes.”

“Wait what”

He just ignores you and walks to the fridge you’re holding open

“Meat?”

“I only have raw meat, it’ll take a while to cook—”

He just takes out the huge chunk of meat and unwraps the plastic around it

Then just bites this huge chunk off

Your jaw just drops

You try to grab it away saying “You’ll get a disease or som—”

But he just snarls and turns away noisily chewing

So you’re sitting across from the man on your couch still eating a huge chunk of steak

Eventually you drift to sleep

Now Seungcheol isn’t entirely stupid (to human standards)

He knows no one likes sleeping in an uncomfortable place

So of course when he sees you quietly snoozing, something clicks in him

Like an imprint? Except for something else👀

The next morning, you wake up in bed like nothing ever happened

You think it’s a dream, especially because your house seems like the man was never there

So you ignore your weird dream and try to get ready for an early class

You didn’t notice the half-eaten meat in the fridge until later

That’s when you questioned whether you dreamed of the strange man

The bloody cotton balls in the trash bin confirmed your suspicions

That night, you went back outside to walk in the same area

You saw the same man again across the street

This time he sees you and smiles really widely and walks basically runs towards you

And you accept his hug tho you’re kinda…still confused on what the heck is happening

But yknow what? He doesn’t seem dangerous, might as well make him some dinner (because that’s definitely the reasonable decision)

So you bring him home again and make steak and mashed potatoes

And he’s just like?? whAT IS THIS HEAVENLY FOOD YOU MADE

But obviously, he doesn’t really speak soooo he just enthusiastically bounces his head around and does a little dance

We gotta change that tho, so you slowly teach Seungcheol words by holding up items and saying them, and then making him repeat them

And slowly he learned more!

Obviously he’s happy to learn, but he has to be careful not to speak with his…secret family

He definitely needs to keep his secret since the full moon’s coming up soon…

But he decides to still visit you, and even memorizes where your house is

So every night, he comes and knocks on your door

Every night, you cook for him and teach him how to speak and write, and in return, he keeps you company and tucks you in bed

Spending time with him is like having a little puppy istg

Always bouncing around and being so interested with new things

Sometimes you’ll tell him to put something in the microwave and he’ll just stare at you and like furrow his eyebrows

Then you’ll remember he has the communication skills (and knowledge of machines) of a 3-year-old

Don’t even get me started on discovering the tv

He tilted his head to the side when you turned it on, and did that thing where little kids check behind the tv to find the people on screen

You also tried to make him shower but the second the water ran he was just like “nononononono”

He needs to stay messy or else his family will know he’s been going out to see a normal human

But he eventually takes a quick shower because you said you wouldn’t hug him otherwise

You buy him a change of clothes when he visits, but he always leaves them behind when you wake up in the morning like what?

He’s a questionable guy but trust me he’s a good person

Remember when I said he kind of imprinted on you?

It’s like a ‘protect this one at all costs’ imprint

He protec he attac but most importantly he snac on your meat

He feels like he needs to protect you now and keep you safe

He’s just a really close friend who even calms you when college gets stressful

And when I mentioned hugs earlier…they are giant wolf bear hugs

Listen ok he doesn’t really have a sense of love, his family doesn’t really show it directly

But you give him all the love he needs

You even fell asleep in his arms one night

You hardly remember it though, because you were back in your bed the next morning

All you have is the memory that it was nice and warm

But there’s a full moon coming up tomorrow

So before Seungcheol leaves, he tells you he won’t see you the next night

You’re really sleepy, so he brings you to your bed and brushes your hair away from your face before growling softly *cough* lovingly and leaving

The next night, you remember what Seungcheol said about not being there, but he never stays until morning wtf

Does he…have another family?

Wait no that’s impossible if he had a family someone would’ve taught him that the word “confused” means his mood 24/7

So when he doesn’t show up, you go out to look for him

When he isn’t on the streets, you wander and stumble across the entry to the forest, and start to hear noises

Growling…?

“Oh Seungcheol, is that you? It’s me Y/N”

Suddenly the growling gets louder

And a woLF JUMPS OUT FROM A BUSH AND LASHES OUT AT YOU

They tackle you, but suddenly another wolf pushes them off of you as the first wolf scratches you

And like I said before YOU ARE TERRIFIED OF WOLVES

So you’re just frozen in fear and confusion

You could try to escape, but the wounds on your shoulder are bleeding and the pain is stinging really bad

All you can do is watch as 2 wolves battle it out before one wolf chases the other away

The remaining wolf starts charging at to you, but you just scramble to get up and try to grab the nearest stick to protect yourself

You hesitate at running when you see a familiar scar on the wolf’s face

It can’t be him…right?

But it makes so much sense

The growling

The scars

The messiness

The limited knowledge of anything basically

He’s just a wolf?

But then wtf has been happening?!?!

Have you been hallucinating and hugging a wolf?!

Or worse: werewolf

So they do exist.

You throw the stick at the wolf and run all the way home crying of pain

There were way more tears as you tried to disinfect the big scratches on your shoulder

And there was no Seungcheol to comfort you or tuck you in that night

The next day, you can’t go to class with a giant scratch bothering you so you tell a classmate you’re sick and ask for any updates on assignments

You feel sick to your stomach anyways

You know how sick it is to fall in love with a monster?

IM CREEPIN IN YOUR HEART BABE that’s the 3rd exo reference already I’ll stop now

When your doorbell rings that night, you check through the peephole and see the same scarred face you always love to see

But given the circumstances, you just walk away from the door

Before you can leave the room, you hear a soft voice

“Y/N? Does the wound hurt?”

“Go away, you monster”

The sound of “monster” tore Seungcheol’s heart in half

All he did was sit against your front door

For hours

Until he was sure you were asleep

Then he left for home

He didn’t go back the next night or any night after that

His family noticed him not going out at night anymore, and thankfully didn’t disown him or anything

They actually felt really bad because Cheol’s adoptive brother was the wolf who attacked you, and it was their fault he had to visit you in secret

Even though his family didn’t teach him human things, they knew how to speak and just chose not to teach him

So when he heard them speak to him, he was v angry but at the same time happy? Bc he can finally communicate with them better

And they finally started teaching him to speak and write better

Which made him more courageous to do…something

One morning as you stepped out the door, you found a bouquet with a small note

~From Seungcheol

Of course, it’s not just a bouquet, it’s a man holding a bouquet

Yknow what? I don’t think you need to be scared of wolves anymore

“I’m sorry my brother attacked you…”

“Wait that was your brother?!”

“Yes did you not know??”

“No?!? That’s why I was angry oh gosh I’m so sorry”

It gets kind of awkward…

…Until he gives you a big hug

And you teach him what a kiss is (if you know what I mean😉)

I think it’s safe to say things are back to normal

If you consider having dinner with a werewolf every night as normal

Ok I know Vampire!Gyu has a dog already bUT WEREWOLF!CHEOL WITH A PUPPY

Ohmygod they could communicate

I’m actually screaming internally like you’d bring him to the shelter and he’d wait until no one is looking and start growling at all the dogs and then whisper to you “this one was abused by his previous owner” and “this one never knew her parents”

And in the end, it would be really sad because you want to adopt all of them but you can’t

So you both decide on this one fluffy puppy and you and Cheol are soft af at this smol pup

Every time you get home from school there are just 2 puppies to shower you with kisses

WHERE’S THAT 1 GIF OF SEUNGCHEOL AND THAT PUP IT’S WHAT I ENVISIONED

You’ll walk into the living room and they’re both growling and barking at each other

“Y/NNNNNNNN come play with us! Both puppies agree you better get over here”

[purge-that-urge-rhackathon]

oh boy do i ever have tales for you babes jfc my life has been a mess. This is the story of how a booty call from tinder i literally met last night– as he helped me escape my sharehouse- dropped me safe at my airbnb and how my ass is going back home.

so i’m peacing out of australia in two weeks, and just gonna treat the next two weeks like a vacation and have fun and then just treat this like a life lesson. aside from being super homesick since i’ve been here, i literally left in the middle of the night last night from a hellish sharehouse where i’ve paid what amounts to $100 a day (i’m just eating the loss of one week’s rent cuz fuck it i couldn’t stay in that environment).

This angel in disguise i’d been texting with from tinder (but hadn’t met til he came and got me- and our texting has been nonsexual i should mention haha he’s great) picked me and all my belongings up and took me back to the airbnb i’d been staying at as i sobbed in his car i was just so relieved. He let me hug him and thank him and he loaded all my shit into his car while i explained things to him and kind of cried in his car at his kindness and like wow wtf kind of meeting right? He was sweet as fuck, i was only able to get out of there last night because he offered to help me. I could cry again thinking about it i’m so damn relieved. Really that guy is a lifesaver i’m gonna see if he’ll go for drinks with me tomorrow i’m just so grateful he’s the absolute best.

He got me back to my host at airbnb (a wonderful gay lawyer who’s been really like a friend since i first arrived here) and he gave me a big hug and i cried some more and he said on the phone earlier he couldn’t tell if i was crying or laughing cuz i have a natural sort of laugh to my voice, and i was like No dude i was trying not to cry xD He poured a glass of wine as i cried in just sheer relief again and tried to tell him more about what had happened aside from what he already knew, and 3 glasses of wine later i felt way better like jfc it was awful there.

I was only at the flatshare for five days, and it was so shit and not at all as advertised and when i originally gave the guy two week’s notice yesterday he tells me i still have to pay for the whole month’s rent, due on the 1st, so then i tell him i’ll be out by the 30th of august instead of in 2 weeks cuz i ain’t paying for shit when a) i haven’t signed anything b) its super drafty and dirty and in disrepair and he tells me not to use heaters throughout the day or the dryer more than once a week max, and c) he’s letting his friends and shit eat my food and stuff. It’s like fuck fucker i’m overpaying in rent here for this piece of shit and you think i’m gonna pay for time i’m not gonna be there when i haven’t signed shit and you’re a dickhead? WTF no.

He proceeds to:

Harass me all day about how i’m fucking him over (he got 2 week’s rent out of me for 5 days ya’ll; 5 days from the remainder of august which was already paid for by the previous girl who also moved out after a week– so he’s actually ahead of the game here when he’s claiming he’s so fucked yada yada wtf)

He says he’s gonna report me to the site i used to fin his flat (joke’s on him, i’ll be doing the same as all these problems are not advertised at all, and i suspect they’re actually squatting there as there’s no mail and the address doesn’t show up on google. The lawyer also thinks they’re probably squatting.)

He then says i have to pay him for the remaining time of august for those 12 days or be out the next day, and i’m like Dude you have my one week’s bond and the week i paid you for already keep it. That more than covers it. So cue his next freak out.

He accuses me of stealing some $10 hand soap (i’d been gone all day dude, wtf? i’m not a thief just because you’re pissed, and you have my money. what the actual fuck?). I point out that someone drank all my apple juice– and maybe that that someone also stole his handsoap cuz i didn’t touch that shit and why would i even?- and then he proceeds to tell me that it was his friend who drank my stuff- who crashed on the couch that night without telling any of us- but being as the ‘position’ i’d put him in he couldn’t care less about my juice. Ummm okaaaaay but you disrespecting my food and property predates me ‘screwing you over’ dickhead. If anyone is a liar and a thief it’s you.

He then tells me off about not to feed his cat and how it’s not my place whatsoever (i fed his cat one time and told him about it because the cat slept with me all night and wanted his breakfast, and he’d told me then please not to feed it, so i was like Gotcha sorry not a problem! but then he freaks out a second time here as he’s getting more petty about whatever he can. I just apologized again about feeding the cat the one time just not wanting to deal with him. That poor sweet cat from the video ya’ll :/

SO after all this bullshit, two fucking xanax and shaking all day, scared to go home and what might happen if i see him, i decide i’m moving the fuck out that night and not telling him cuz fuck him. He’s got my money, he has a key to my room he never gave me, i don’t feel safe, i am fucking GONE.

Tinder angel (who’s a fireman btw yaaas) picks me and my SHITTON of luggage up and i am just still so shocked by the kindness of strangers like BRO. Super thank, like you were already gonna get in these panties bro you’ve been sweet but now like HOOOO ahahah xD

Really though this place was in super disrepair that one couldn’t see at night (when i originally inspected) and i should have suspected when he told me the girl who was there previously left after a week “for a job in sydney”. Yeah sure, she was probably escaping too.

There was an actual breeze through the cracked windows (as in cracks in the glass) and walls and the 3 inch gap above the door.

when the industrial fan of some kitchen nearby went on, it created an intense breeze through my room due to the suction– only a couple degrees above seeing-your-breath icy at night

It was filthy- which i thought was just because of the weather- tracking in dirt from outside

There were ants in the bathroom, and the bathroom window was cracked and no curtain on the window

I don’t think the tub has ever been scrubbed– i thought someone had just recently dyed their hair but no :X still can’t believe i stayed 5 days there

Cat hair and stains all over the dirty carpet going upstairs

The sweet sweet cat actually has really bad dermatitis and open wounds

Said cat is ALWAYS on the counters when trying to cook, and he tries to get into what you’re doing; he leaves hair with flesh attached to it on the counters and the guy doesn’t remove the cat when you’re trying to cook

No microwave and the dials on the gas oven/stove are nearly falling off. Fire hazard doesn’t even cover it

Cat box is positioned in a place downstairs where, with one of the many cracked-open windows carries the smell of it right up and into my room

The girl in the room next to mine sang and played piano until 11pm at night. Her room also had a 3 inch gap so that sound carried. She didn’t block it up like i did

No lights outside at all so you need a flashlight to see. Not safe

I could hear the construction going on in a carpark across the road starting at 6am

NONE of these issues were addressed, they didn’t lodge my bond with the RTBA which is illegal as fuck so this guy needs to back the fuck off- more cred to thinking they’re squatting. The guy- after all this harrassment and bullshit, texts me this morning to say i could have had the decency to tell him i’d left. Like really? REALLY? After all the shit, like i’d even wanna be anywhere near him? just fucking hell man.

Then i cried to my mom on skype today because i was still so relieved to be somewhere clean and safe and warm with a host who wants me here (like i’d much rather pay to this guy for a little bit more a week than that asshole) and i’m just so DONE. I’m gonna focus these next two weeks on having fun, buying presents for my family, making memories with my cool kiwi friend and my friend from japan, and just overwrite this whole horrible experience.

I guess it’s a learning experience as well. I’ve never inspected a place on my own before and this has taught me a LOT, but like fuck guys. Really just that’s the word that sums it up: FUCK.

Dickhead doesn’t have my last name, no information about me, nothing but my phone number, and if he tries anything else then BRO i won’t hesitate to let the local police know you’ve got illegal substances in your place, don’t register bond, suspected squatting, etc.

Other than this, i still think australia is a lovely place but fuuuuuuck guys fucking hell.

Fic and fic and fic once i’m back in the states yep. I’ve been through the ringer here. Also my ankle is still a little fucked haha ugh. SO yeah guys, that’s whats going on in my neck of the woods. AAARGH. Anywho love all of ya’ll.

[shirtlesssammy]

Simon Said: 2x05 Recap

Welcome to Hellatus 2017, guys! We’re recapping all of Ben Edlund’s awesome episodes this summer. Hopefully reminiscing about his fabulous episodes will distract us from the pain of losing Cas, Crowley, Rowena, and Eileen (who are we kidding. blerg.)

Then:

Baby Sam is a psychic.

Now:

On a quaint city street, an elderly man gets a phone call and see visions of himself unloading a shotgun. The man looks temporarily concerned, but soon has a relaxed face and walks into his local gun shop. The shop owner greets him as an old friend, but is surprised when “Doc” wants to look at a gun. He’s even more surprised when the doc loads the shotgun, shoots him, and then himself. Our poor Sammy had a psychic vision of this whole event.

On the road, Sam insists they head to the Roadhouse (awww) for Ash’s help, but Dean is reluctant. Dean calls Sam a freak (awwww). They eventually make it to the Roadhouse, Dean greets Jo, but Sam is on a mission to find Ash. Dr. Badass is chillin’ naked in his room. 

With the help of Ash, and Sam’s stellar artistic skills, they’re able to pinpoint the town to Guthrie, Oklahoma. No demon activity, so Sam has Ash research house fires in 1983.

Later that evening, Jo queues up REO Speedwagon on the jukebox. Dean takes notice. They briefly exchange pleasantries of hair vs. heart rock, before Jo asks about their mom’s death. Dean shuts her down. And admits to being afraid of Ellen (lolz).

Sam gets a match so the brothers head out. Not without Dean getting a serious REO Speedwagon earworm though. As Dean’s singing in the car, Sam questions Dean’s musical choices, and performing!Dean shuts it all down, asking Sam about what new information he has. Andrew Gallagher: Born in 1983, mom died in a house fire 6 months later.

The boys, dressed in their finest early years cheap suits, start to question a local waitress who worked with Andy. It seems that no matter how hard debt collectors tried, they didn’t get very far with information on Andy. Dean changes their story--they’re lawyers and Andy’s aunt left him a sizeable estate. Another friend of Andy’s sits down to fill the boys in on Andy’s amazing ability of persuasion. He once got them into an Aerosmith concert! The waitress lets them know if they need to find Andy, all they have to do is look for the van with the barbarian queen riding a polar bear. She’s kinda hard to miss.

(FUCKING STONEHENGE FROM SPINAL TAP? REALLY? YASSS.)

And no surprise to us season 12 folks, but Dean’s kinda into Andy’s whole aesthetic. Sam isn’t quite ready for real!Dean. He’s also concerned that they’ve found another weirdo like himself. What does it mean? Dean wonders, “So the demon wants you out there killing with your minds, is that it?” Sam doesn’t disagree. Not really convincing himself, Dean calls bullshit. “You’re not a murderer, Sam. You don’t have it in your bones.” (Guh, what a parallel to Dean and Mary “you’re a killer” --Sam is a Men of Letters, he doesn’t have it in his bones, but he’s badass enough to bring it when it’s needed.)

For Science (but, like, serious science, because I’m pretty sure Jensen Ackles hasn’t aged a day in 10 years):

Just then Andy emerges, complete with scruff, silk kimono, and complete lack of any social grace, and somehow walks away with some dude’s coffee in hand. We soon see him interact with the doc from the cold open! Sam recognizes him right away. The brothers separate-- Sam with the older man and Dean with Andy.

With Dean in not so subtle pursuit, Andy pulls his van to the side of the road and classic dialog commences:

Andy: Hey

Dean: Hey

Andy: That’s a cherry ride

Dean: Yeah, thanks

Andy: Man, the '67? Impala's best year if you ask me. This is a serious classic.

Dean: Yeah. You know, I just rebuilt her, too.

Andy: Yeah?

Dean: Yeah, can't let a car like this one go.

Andy: Damn straight. Hey. Can I have it?

Dean: Sure, man.

Andy: Sweet.

Dean: Hop right in there. There ya go.

Andy: Take it easy.

Dean: All right.

Like, WTF, Dean?

At the same time Dean is losing his most prized possession, Sam is trying to stop the gun store shooting by getting to the gun shop before the doc, and pulling the fire alarm. Afterwards he happens to see Andy casually driving down the road in a ‘67 Chevy Impala. *Does not compute*

Just as Sam calls Dean about the stolen Impala, the doctor gets another call himself. This time he just walks right in front of A VERY FAST BUS.

Later, as the brothers watch the clean-up, Sam admits he thought he had stopped it. And Andy shows up at the restaurant, letting the waitress know that Doctor Jennings is dead. She tells him that some guys were around looking for him earlier that day.

Meanwhile, Sam and Dean locate Baby, much to Dean’s relief. The brothers surmise that Andy is verbally controlling people --Dean, and the doctor. Dean doesn’t think that Andy is guilty (OJ though? Guilty.)

The boys break into Andy’s van. And holy shit, “this is magnificent, that’s what this is.” Couldn’t say it better myself, Dean.

Later, during their stake-out Dean admits, “Ugh. You know, one day I'd love to just sit down and eat something I didn't have to microwave at a minimart.” Oh, Dean, you’ll have to wait 6 more years (and 40 years in Hell) before that dream happens. You’ll nest, I promise. Sam’s still wondering about Andy’s motive. Dean (WHO’S NEVER WRONG) still isn’t convinced. Just then Andy appears, wondering why they’re following him.  Sam starts with their lawyer cover when Andy demands they tell the truth. Sam sticks with their story but Dean is quick to admit that they hunt demons. Lolz. Dean just can’t shut up. Dean Bean. He spills EVERYTHING.

Andy demands that they leave him alone. Sam is immune to his persuasions though. Sam makes it clear that they have similar pasts --they’re connected. And just as Sam demands more information about the doctor, he gets another vision about a woman and a gas station. Andy denies knowing anything about the doctor’s death.

Sam collapses under the weight of the vision and when he comes out of it, he’s able to tell Dean about the cell phone call that triggers the victims to kill themselves or others. Dean leaves Sam watching Andy while he heads to the gas station. Not too long afterwards, Dean calls Sam from the station. The woman from Sam’s vision is already extra crispy and, as Dean notes, “the smell hasn’t even cleared.” (Shudder) Sam’s visions not only have zero chill, but they’re not giving them enough lead time anymore.

While Dean deals with the horrifying lingering smell of fried human Sam chills out with Andy and they exchange stories about their special mind powers. Andy loves his powers and never feels the need to use them to get a whole lot more out of life. He still lives happily in his Polar Queen van, after all. He’s got everything he needs to be happy. Dean pulls up then and lets them know that he had Ash run a background search on the dead woman. It turns out that Miss Extra Crispy gave birth to a kid in 1983. Since Andy was adopted, maybe she was actually his mother? They head to the county records department to learn more.

They review the birth records and discover that the woman was indeed Andy’s birth mother. The shotgun happy doctor delivered the baby. Or, we should say, BABIES. That’s right! On this extra special Doctor Phil, Andy learns that he has a twin brother. Andy sits back, astonished. “I have an evil twin.”

 Meanwhile, in evil twin land, Andy’s friend Ansem chats up Tracy the waitress, asking if she and Andy were ever serious about each other. He compels her to tell the truth. Aaaaand I’m already grossed out.

In the car, Sam suffers another vision. It’s Tracy standing at the edge of a dam and ready to jump. (She’s only wearing a slip so we get the implication of sexual assault preceding this suicidal leap. UGH)

Cut to Creepy McCreeperson, I mean Ansem, who is sitting in his car with Tracy out by the dam. It’s where he takes all the ladies. (Sexual assault no longer just implied.) She cries and begs to leave. He orders her to stop crying. “You can’t have him,” he tells her, referring to Andy. I don’t even know how to begin to rank the levels of creep in this scene.

The boys pull up nearby and prepare to go after Ansem. Sam suggests that Dean stay back and Dean readily agrees. Sam and Andy will take point.

Back at Ansem’s car, Evil Twin orders Tracy to undress - slowly. He tells her that when they’re done she should walk to the edge of the dam. When she gets there she’ll think she can fly and just step right off. Thankfully, Sam interrupts this dark instruction by breaking the driver’s side window and punching Ansem.

Andy helps Tracy out of the car while Sam wrestles Ansem under control and slaps some duct tape over his mouth. Great thinking! Only...Ansem mind controls Tracy anyway - with his mind - and she whacks Sam with a great big chunk of wood. While Andy and his twin scuffle, Tracy walks to the edge of the dam.

“She’s trying to come between us,” Ansem tells Andy by way of explanation. Aghast, Andy tells him that when you learn to have a twin you call them up and chill out. No murder! Bad twin!

Evil twin sheds some light on his evil-ness then, telling Andy that he dreams of a man with yellow eyes who promises him great things. What’s a little killing here or there when destiny calls?

A little ways away, hidden in the underbrush, Dean draws a sniper’s rifle up. (Me, rn → dead on the floor from attraction.) Unfortunately, Ansem hears him and Dean finds himself moving the rifle up to point the barrel at his own chin.

A gun fires.

Don’t worry guys, Andy saved the day! He shot his evil twin dead. Tracy gets off the ledge and Dean pulls away the gun.

The next morning Andy tells the cops investigating the crime scene that Ansem just shot himself and there’s nothing to investigate. He then wanders past a super freaked out Tracy and over to Sam and Dean. “I never used my mind thing on her before last night,” Andy says, “She’s scared of me now.”

Sam apologizes to Andy. The Winchesters have gotta split. But Sam gives Andy his phone number so he can call if he needs anything. Team Psychic Kids for life!

“What am I supposed to do now?” Andy asks.

“You be good, Andy,” Dean tells him. “Or we’ll be back.”

As the Winchesters head back to the car, Sam reflects on the outcome. Andy ended up killing someone; Andy became a killer. But Dean sees it differently. Andy was a hero who saved Dean’s and Tracy’s life. Still, Sam heard Dean’s little spate of honesty before and he’s not buying Dean’s line of total confidence.

The boys head back to The Roadhouse where they’re cornered by Ellen. She confronts them about information she got from Ash and notes the key details of the psychic kid cases: house fires at 6 months of age. All Ellen wants is the truth. “Something big and bad is coming and it’s coming fast.” They’ve got each other but they have to be honest. (I love you, Ellen.)

Sam tells Ellen all about the other psychic kids and how Yellow Eyes has plans for them. There could be tons of demon-blood-infected youth running around but finding them might be difficult. Not all kids suffered house fires at 6 months. For all those other psychic kids, there’s no way to trace them.

Ellen takes this all in and then says, “Jo, honey? You better break out the whiskey instead.”

The show closes with Soundgarden’s Fell on Black Days - which is super relevant to everyone mourning Chris Cornell right now.

We Full on Obi-Quoted This:

You’ve always been a freak.

He sings it from the hair. There’s a difference.

He full on Obi-Wan’ed me. It’s mind control, man.

And Moby Dick’s bong.

You still live in a van.

These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.

What are you, seven?

[fractallogic]

Today has been such a Day I went to bed super late I had a really weird dream that @no-giraffes and I switched houses, and her house was where my dorm in Redlands was and mine was closer to where the CommDis building was I woke up super late I've had a migraine maybe brewing all day It was a real Effort to decide what I wanted to eat for breakfast/lunch I picked up the package that my slovak buddy sent me and proceeded to very excitedly open it in the car and then cry heaving sobs about it for a solid five minutes in the post office parking lot Continued to cry on and off as I drove the rest of the way to campus Worked for exactly two pomodoros and then decided to go home Skipped yoga because the migraine was more insistent Went to teach yoga, realized that the bag I took had no painkillers in it Made a new playlist for yoga because the two people I had on the schedule weren't showing up They finally showed up ten minutes late, but then one of them decided they had to use the bathroom while I was locking up the back, and I wasn't sure where they went and was afraid they might have gone to their car and I would be locking them out, but they came back eventually from the bathroom all the way the fuck across the gym instead of the one in the studio Finally got started 15 minutes late I realized that I have no idea how to modify poses for someone who's pregnant and has apparently never moved athletically in their life, so I modified my entire sequence on the fly and eventually just gave up correcting her form Got a text from the manager saying "wtf I saw someone walked in 15 minutes late??" Ate sonic and chips for dinner and proceeded to feel really insecure about food Got sidetracked because I remembered I had gotten a message from ArabicAli yesterday that I never responded to or translated Responded and wrote out verb forms in my Arabic notebook, because I was also looking for where we learned how to say "it's been [time period] since...", but I couldn't find it And now I need to get in the shower and go to bed, but I'm all hung up on food and how grumpy I am that the need to eat at all trumps the need to eat healthy food, because I barely had the energy today to make the decision to put frozen tamales in the microwave for lunch, because ALSO eating at all costs money, and eating healthier when you eat out costs more money, and so my brain is stuck in the place of both feeling guilty about spending money AND guilty about eating shitty food for dinner and it just kind of wants to set itself on fire Today I have felt like I've been PMSing all day, but I am fully three weeks early for that, so that probably isn't it even though that's what it feels like

[pinkguacamole]

Choose Your Own Adventure: The Garden Route, South Africa

Another Wrong-Side-of-the-Road-Trip

When I left Afrikaburn, I did not have anything planned. I’d been in the desert for 11 days with no internet. I did not even know when I would be leaving Afrikaburn because the car I’d come in had a bit of a mishap and my friends and I were waiting for a new rental car to arrive. I figured I’d somehow find a place to stay in Capetown when the time was right.

The car arrived late Sunday evening, and on Monday morning, my South African friends Ryan, J, and Monica, and I piled in, sore and dusty, finally leaving the Tankwa Karoo and 11 incredible days behind us. 

On our way back to the “default world,” the dusty road soon became majestic rocky mountains and cell phone reception eventually returned. We ate a gluttonous meal at a very racist restaurant called Spurs. (The theme is Native American -WTF? It is a chain all over South Africa). We just wanted warm food and cold drinks desperately. During the meal, one of my friends, Monica, talked to her dad who has a house in the beach town of Hermanus and he invited us to come to his home and decompress! 

All of us were euphoric to accept the offer. A nice house! With warm showers! A home cooked meal! A beautiful beach town! It was exactly what we needed.

When we arrived at Monica’s family home, we all took time to clean up and relax. Her father loved Jazz and played standards from his iPad all night, urging me to sing along. We ate a traditional South African Braai- a barbecue of many meats and thankfully many vegetarian options as well.  After a night of singing and the color coming back to our chalky cheeks, we all had a nice, hard sleep. 

The next day I did laundry using the family’s washer and dryer (it’s the small victories!) and then Monica’s father drove us around Hermanus, showing us the gorgeous beach scenes from down below, and up above on one of the rocky mountains. It was a perfect day. 

That afternoon, my South African friends had to leave to fly back to Johannesburg and I needed to find a place to stay in Capetown. As I was researching where to go, my Canadian friend Sam, whom I spent a lot of time hanging out with at Afrikaburn, messaged me and asked if I wanted to join her and her friend Josh on a road trip on the Garden Route for a few days. I said I couldn’t be back in Capetown in time. She asked where I was and it turns out Hermanus was on the way! So once my South African friends departed, I waited by the beach for my Canadian friends to scoop me up. Talk about serendipity! 

That evening our team of North Americans drove to a quiet beach town near Agulhas National Park where the Southern-Most tip of Africa is located. We stayed at a sweet Airbnb and attempted to cook canned-food in the microwave. Not too bad. 

The next morning, we walked through Agulhas National Park, along the coast. The pebbled-shore was glowing nicely in the morning light. There was a lighthouse looking out over the point and it shone brightly against a misty view. We found the southern-most tip of Africa and the accompanying landmark, climbed on the rocks, and took some photos. 

Then we drove for a really long time. We saw some elephants along the road at one point! We listened to music that was popular before 2011, because Josh’s phone deleted everything current. There was some One Direction in the mix. It was your typical road trip music…

By late afternoon we made it to Wilderness, South Africa. Yes, that is the name of the town. It wasn’t as abandoned as it sounds, but it was surrounded by gorgeous beaches and dense forest. The afternoon was foggy and we frolicked on the cold and misty beach. It looked so much like my foggy coastal Californian home; it almost made me homesick. 

That evening when we went out for dinner, we met a cool South African guy who was looking to move to Canada. My Canadian friends gave him all the tips he needed and he in turn told us all about Wilderness. 

The next day we entered Garden Route National park. We rented some kayaks and paddled down the Touwsrivier to the waterfall at the end of Giant King Fisher Trail. I was double kayaking with Sam and as we were mostly in-sync, she encouraged me to sing Pocahontas songs while we rolled through the morning haze. My life has pretty much become the musical I always hoped it would be. No complaints.

We hiked through the damp forest at the end of the river and climbed to the waterfall. Everything was beautiful. And everything still reminded me of California. This all looked like Pescadero State Park where I spent my childhood at Girl Scout Camp. 

After we made it back to our starting point and returned the kayaks, we stopped in town for a nice meal and to see our South African friend again. Then we drove off, back west towards the Cape of Good Hope. We continued to gawk at the views along the way. It was sunny now and the beach had a whole new persona. On the way, we had passed through Mitchell’s Plain, which is apparently one of the most dangerous townships in South Africa. It was dark and a bit eerie, but we were fine. 

That evening we arrived in a small town called Glencairn. The name sounds Scottish and the town resembled a northern Scottish fishing village. We were staying at an old hotel that was apparently haunted. Despite the ghosts, it was well-priced and a clean, spacious retreat. There was live music at the bar one night and the guy who ran the place took a special interest in us because we were from out of town. He gave us free drinks as he tried to discuss Donald Trump and America with me. I was so burnt out of this damn conversation and my Canadian friends did a great job defending me. It was bleh. But hey, free drinks… 

On our second to last day of the trip we took it slow. We had a leisurely breakfast at a local cafe and then drove a few minutes into Simon’s Town to see… PENGUINS at Boulders Beach. The penguins were so cute and silly as they waddled around, posing for zillions of photos as hoards of tourists packed along the beach with selfie sticks and DSLRs. 

After we got our fill of adorableness, we continued down the coast to The Cape of Good Hope in Table Mountain National Park. After paying another entrance fee, we drove to the Cape as the weather turned windy and rainy. 

At the Cape, we climbed up on some cliffs but the rocks were slippery and the wind was insane. Then we went back to the bottom to wait as buses of tourists funneled out of the area so we could get a photo with the “Cape of Good Hope” sign. All the important things. 

Then Josh and Sam took a tram up into the mist for some more views as I sat on the edge of the world with some pizza. I was craving melted cheese. So were some of the birds nearby. Not once, but twice, did two birds flap by and grab some pizza right out of my hand. They are pros. I felt like the fat guy from Lilo and Stitch who is always dropping his ice cream. Let’s be real, I am that fat guy.

Once we left the bottom of the world, we stopped in Simon’s Town for a sweet cafe meal and then drove to Long Beach Kommetjie. This was a little beach town covered in white cottages. The beach was spectacular, resting under the glorious mountains of Chapman’s Peak. By this point, we were all becoming over stimulated by the ridiculous amount of INCREDIBLE scenery we had seen in the past few days. We were surrounded by “neature” as the Canadians say. We hopped around taking photos. We were joined for a while by two cute little terrier dogs running on the beach. They were so excited and it was hard to not feel my heart exploding. We left the beach in a satisfied daze.

The next morning we were to return to Capetown, via the Chapman’s Peak road. And my goodness, the views just got prettier from there. The mountains epically sloped into the ocean as a layer of mist hugged each peak. I have hundreds of photos; it was impossible to select 10 for this post. We stopped the car every few feet to take more photos and drink in the majesty. It was absurd. 

We ended our trip with a charming breakfast and Mimosa Toast next to Hout’s Bay. 

That afternoon, I split with the Canadians and moved into a hostel in Capetown in an attempt to process my fantastic and fast-paced month in South Africa and prepare for my travels in Namibia and onward. I organized some photos and ran some errands. I even explored a bit. Luckily I had a hostel dorm all to myself! My solitude didn’t last long, though. Two of my brothers from Peace Corps Madagascar were in Capetown and I went out with them a few times, then on my last day in South Africa, I met an American girl and we visited Table Mountain, one of the prime attractions in Capetown. We took a tram to the top of the windy mountain and spent an hour walking around the top doing my new standard activity of “gawking at grandiose views.” 

Once we’d thoroughly appreciated the glory of Table Mountain and the view of rocky hills, the sea, and the city below, we decided to walk back down. The path was steep and long and rocky, and I was in flip flops… but I am a” super human” -according to many people we passed along the way- (I would have just gone with “stupid and under-prepared…”) But I made it down without any issues!

After some more chill time with some friends, old and new, I packed up my bag to head into the next leg of my trip: Namibia.

My time in South Africa was nothing short of phenomenal. I was completely surrounded by amazing people and scenery every step of the way. It was the perfect “choose your own adventure story” but I learned that I could literally not make any wrong moves in South Africa. Everywhere I went was breath-taking and fantastic. 

Oddly enough though, I felt like I was in a bubble. Traveling in rental cars for days at a time is not how I normally travel. I saw a lot but I felt like I was on “vacation” and I could feel my wallet groaning. I am happy to be on my own, out of South Africa, so I can travel more simply -by taking public transportation and camping and meeting locals along the way.

South Africa has left me feeling revitalized and so excited for the adventures to come. I am feeling completely free and completely in my element. Thank you SA and thank you to all of my wonderful friends that I spent the last month exploring with!

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

FBI: Unfortunately he only gave me One pay account name. But we produced a search warrant at the races and his homes and businesses and fortunately head kept meticulous records in pen and ink.

Me: type small print?

FBI: no in cursive actually he thought we were too young to learn to read it. It even said so on the top of one page that you wrote how he should keep business records, smartie in 2008. So thank you.

Me: you're welcome.

FBI: apparently you told him to be the main record holder for all his crew. We got business benefits for 29 people. How'd you do that?

Me: ah i told him i would marry him. But he had to be perfect.

Andrew Hines: oh you bitch! Are you fucking kidding me

Me: nah he was sweet on me. It was so easy.

Andrew: Shaw I'm disgusted.

FBI: who else did yoh do that to?

CIA: Andrew Laughlin-- which is Alex Laughlin, Matt Hagan and Jesse James 1 and 2.

FBI: so who did you pick?

Me: well i having thoroughly checked Alex yet but i did look at a post he did around Christmas I zoomed in and it looked prertty good. Nice handwritting it seems. Spacing proper. He looked good behind the computer. Seems honest. We will just have to wait and see but I didn't pick those other 4

FBI: well we will wait and see Alex we will have to check those records. Sabrina we will have to take you with us. Make sure they're done right.

Me: sounds good. Im down.

Andrew Hines: this is pathetic. Are you serious its that easy?!?!

Me: I'm serious.

FBI: Matt we will still be looking at yours since you think you're still in the running it is the only thing that will convince her she said.

Matt falls to his knees: oh thank God. God i knew you knew me. I'll turn them in soon, i swear.

FBI: you know she only emptied Stevie Fast of blood. She Vampired him because he was out in daylight. And you know she doesn't go out unless its dark. She could just been training him. That's why she dried out the blood so fast.

Jesses: no!! :*() well share the other ones won't!!!

Andrew: you were telling me it was easy! You weren't kidding.

Alex: you did this?

Me: yeah. Im kinda smart. I like a clean guy that knows how to take care of business that i can easily understand. So paperwork. Right?

Tree: ohhh heeehaww that's so much funny i can't even laugh!!! That's so good to me!!

Jesses & Matt: yeah Well i vaccum

Me: see that's what I'm saying. I can barely do it anymore because of my spine and you know I'm crazy when i vacuum under the couches and every thing, moving tables.

Jesses: don't worry we got you!

Me: sounds good. Meticulously neat. Unlike Saint Luches that takes over my fucking bathroom and moves all my stuff into a box or under the sink. And puts his shit onto the counter. I mean WTF? Im supposed to bend over? With my spine?

Alex: quit bitching every thing is fine.

Me: they got that microwave on again. Or you're sweating. Is your records not good enough?

Alex: don't talk about my records

Me: and remember rule #1 fair chance don't destroy each other's records.

Matt & 2 jesses: we won't

Fast Stevie: im dead i can't now. I'll reressurect not lying. The tree said. I i was was just nervous that's all.

Me: ok cutie.

Matt Hartman: you're sick!

Me: hn.

Matt Hartman: what's that mean?

Me: I'll think about that. I gave them fair trade agreement. Me for love.

Matt Hartman: ok you're still sick. Call him cutie.

Me: he's sweet on me. Don't be ranking. Did you want to get in line or something?

Stevie: she's so hot

Matt Hartman: Steve are you really drooling?

Steve: yeah

Matt Hartman: you really know your stuff kid

Me: I know. I need some One to help keep me organised because of amnesia that's where the idea came from.

Matt Hartman: ok now you're making sense.

Me: thanks.

[sapphicsurveys]

Is popularity a social disease? It depends. With politicians and such, it can become a disease. A disease that costs us all. Would you want to be a hippie? Yes!!! I’m really open-minded and I love reggae and different colours...I’ve thought about retreating into the hippie lifestyle before, not gonna lie... In college, were you ever given exams with extremely broad and deep questions such as, 'Why?' or 'What is truth?' I’m in college right now. I had a philosophy class, but I had to withdraw from it, so...yeah... Have you knowingly destroyed an endangered plant or animal? No. Actually, I don’t know which plants are endangered, so maybe unknowingly for plants... Did your parents bronze your first pair of baby shoes? I have no clue. Do you check for a train when crossing tracks in your car even though the arms aren't down? I don’t drive. Is there gossip going around about you right now? As always, there’s a bunch of fandom tea. I don’t really pay attention to the drama of people IRL, probably because I prefer to keep my circle small anyway. How many comic strips do you read daily: None (and I CANNOT get into manga.) If you were hiding from a burglar, would you hide in the closet or under the bed? Under the bed would be more logical, but I couldn’t fit under there.  What do you most commonly use milk for: drinking or cooking? Drinking. Who should provide the condoms in a relationship: the man or the woman? The man. His dick, his issue. His responsibility if she gets pregnant, not hers. That’s how an ideal world would work. Are you ever afraid that people hate you and they're just acting like they don't? I mean, it’s true, so, LMAO. When you're crossing the street with other people, do you ever feel a need to get to the other side first? No, I take my time, because I don’t wanna get hit by a car. Should people be able to go to college without a high school diploma if they score high enough on entrance tests? No, it would fuck up your life cycle. You learn a lot about yourself through high school. High school was never about learning about subjects anyway. Would you be embarrassed if people could hear you talking to your pets? No, everyone does it. If elephants were bred to a smaller size and sold as house pets, would you want one? Sure! Do you refer to people as 'dude'? When I’m annoyed at someone and trying to make my point. Do you remember the last time you wrote a 'snail mail' letter? Does my voting application count? Do you think beards/mustaches make men look older than they actually are? Depends on the man... Are you usually the one to initiate sex with your significant other? No, I prefer masturbation to sex, TBH. When I’m dating a girl when she wants sex I usually just want to cuddle LOL. I want to fantasize about her and pleasure myself to that but not actually do it with her...??? That wouldn’t make me asexual, IDK WTF it would make me. When you're having trouble burping when you feel like you need to, does patting yourself on the chest seem to help? I don’t have trouble burping. Do you have your wallet with you right now? No, it’s in my bag by my bed. If it ever came down to a final battle between good and evil and you knew that evil was going to win, who would you fight for? Evil, because if I fought for good, it would be pointless since it lost anyway, and evil would have a grudge against me so it might send me to a prison camp or something. But if I fight on evil’s side, maybe I can be pimpin’. Do you feel guilty when you borrow money from your parents? I don’t really borrow money from them. Do you constantly have times where you have no money and then earn a lot of money and you don't know what to do with it? No. Do you always see yourself as the protagonist in the story of your life? Obviously. I’m the protagonist of MY life....of course, not the world’s though... Can you drive by a car accident without staring? I’m not the one driving ever, so I can stare without feeling guilty, I guess. Do you find it a challenge to congratulate your opponent who just beat you in a game or competition? Yes. I’m super competitive and salty. Do you think that no matter how cold or heartless someone seems there is always at least one thing in the world that they love? Yes. Sociopaths may not love people, but they sure can love things. Who is worse: Someone who doesn't repay a loan or someone that steals your CDs? I don’t know all this adulting BS. HELLPPPP. Why do you think so many homosexual men still go without condoms: because they don't know of the dangers, or because they don't care? It’s like a “fuck it” moment, probably. They’re like, “I’m horny, and at least no-one here can get pregnant, I probably won’t catch an STD, anyway.” Which is...wrong, a lot of the time, LOL. When you think about morality, do you think more in terms of good/bad people, or good/bad actions? Actions, 100%. Which of these female comedians is funnier: Ellen Degeneres or Margaret Cho? I’ve only heard of the second girl and not heard her jokes, but I don’t find Ellen really that funny. Are you scared of dying alone? I’m just scared of dying lol [2]. Are you most comfortable being treated by a doctor of the same sex as you? Of course, I don’t ever want to let a male get that intimate with me, LOL. Do you take daily walks? Yes, taking walks and listening to music is one of my favourite pastimes. Are there some slang terms you refuse to use? I don’t like a lot of the Gen Z’rs slang...I usually find myself using it anyway. Do you have a favorite pen that you use all the time? I wish I could have an aesthetic high-quality pen collection, it’s like my dream, but unfortunately I only have average ones. Have you ever changed an adult's diaper? WTF?? Do you think it's dangerous or a good thing when two very depressed people start to date each other? Dangerous. Y’all need to love yourselves before you love each other. Or else it’s just gonna be a constant flow of negativity. Do you know a game that is very stupid, yet very addicting? A lot of those dumb phone app games that make you pay for upgrades. Do you plan on having your children Christened/Baptised? I don’t want kids. Would regularly seeing videos of you interacting with people significantly improve your overall human effectiveness? That would be sooo much fun, but nothing I’d see would really surprise me. Have you ever misspelled 'misspell'? Nope. Have you ever stayed up for more than 24 hours to study for an exam? I’m not sure if I’ve ever even stayed up for that long. Have you ever been in the back of a moving truck? Nope. When you were young, did you know some pop stars were gay? Yeah. Do you have control over how much peace there is in your mind? Sometimes I can zone it out listening to ASMR videos. If you got a backstage pass at a concert, would you feel better than everyone else? Yeah, of course. Not gonna lie. Is your microwave any other color besides white? It’s black. Would you prefer a bagel or an entire breakfast in the morning? Full breakfast, baby. Breakfast is my favourite meal of the day. You can’t go wrong with it. Do you think that couples that elope have a better chance of staying together? The opposite. Do you know of a frozen dinner that tastes good? TBH, they all suck, but they’re still super convenient. I guess those Delimex Taquitos, if they count.. Will public restrooms no longer be separated by gender in the near future? Perhaps. If you do not eat red meat but eat fish are you a vegetarian? There’s a term. Pescatarian.  When you discard a piece of paper, which of the following are you more likely to do: rip it apart in pieces or crumple it? Rip it apart. Do you wear your pants and shorts above or below your waist line? Above, but I always have to pull them up because none of my clothes fucking fit me right. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have a sex change operation? I want one. SOOOO BAD. In an ideal world I could become a man. I have huge dysphoria. But it ain’t gonna happen. Do you call margarine 'butter,' even though you know the difference? They’re very different, and that would be offensive to butter. Do you bathe less when you are depressed? I bathe more. Should the ASPCA and RSPCA ban the practice of kidney transplants in cats, since cats can't give consent for the surgery? ???? Would you ever drink from a bowl or cup made out of human bones? Yeah, why not? Does your car normally smell good? I don’t have a car. Do you think 9/11 will be the worst thing you will see in your life? Nah, crimes and attacks are happening day by day, who knows when the next huge one will be. Do you tend to do more research for school or papers at the library or on the internet? Internet. Don’t think anyone uses the library for that anymore. Do you have an outfit you wear that makes you feel like a star? No, but I have some graphic Tees that I’m pretty proud of. You are working at McDonald's frying meat. Your manager is being a jerk and you are ticked. A customer comes in and orders a 20-piece box of nuggets. Out of anger towards your manager, would you pack 20 or more, or 19 or less in that box? 20 or more. Give the people what they want. Once you've made up your mind about the kind of person someone is, can anything they say or do change it? Probably not. Is there a single person whose whole existence you might be interested in studying? Yeah, a few celebrities would pique my interest. Do you think that cuddling with a member of the opposite sex, with no intention of sexual relations, is cheating? No way. Sometimes we all need a little cuddle. Which would you be willing to give up the internet for: world peace or immortality? Neither. I wouldn’t give up the internet for anything. Are you a redneck? No, the farthest thing from it. Do you think by 2050 there will be flying cars? Yeah. Should politicians be allowed to have a private life? I mean, obviously?? Everyone deserves that. Do you avoid going over to other people's houses because it makes you feel uncomfortable or out of place? Yeah, more like I avoid hanging out with people in general, LOL. If someone you don't know too well puts you in the buddy list of his or her profile, would you be suspicious, or would it be OK that he or she did that? I’d love it. Do you have a trash can in every room of your home? Nope. Who said "I love you" first: you, or your partner? I’m single. Do you ever lay down and watch a movie, only to fall asleep in the very beginning and wake up when the movie is over? No, but this happens with YouTube videos sometimes. Do you say 'thank you' before leaving a store, even though you may not have purchased anything? Yeah. Would you approve if your significant other wanted to have a nude painting done? Sure. Art is art. If there were nine guilty people and one innocent, and they all had to be together, would you put them all in jail or set them all free? What was the crime they were guilty for? Is your pet also your best friend? The best friend I’ll ever have. She loves me absolutely unconditionally. When the toilet backs up, do you call someone to fix it or do you do it yourself? I call my dad to fix it. Have you ever recited a love poem to your significant other? I used to write poems and stories for my ex. It kinda makes me wanna vomit thinking back on it. Would you rather be 'all head and no heart' or 'all heart and no head'? Nope. Nope. This is too hard. I refuse. Are your teeth discolored? A lil’ bit. When you were a child, did you make or buy your Halloween costumes? Buy. Have you ever seen a movie and liked it but upon further viewing come to like it a lot less? Don’t think so. But this happens with a lot of songs. If your father was a minister, would you want him to preside over your wedding ceremony? No. Would you prefer to watch porn or a really good comedy? Depends on the mood I’m in. How long did your longest phone conversation ever last? Maybe 4 hours. Do you put your initials on everything you own? No, that’s lame. Do you like or dislike people based on who else likes or dislikes them? Not at all. Do you have a friend who you hang out with only when there is nothing else to do? No. Which is harder: calculus or trigonometry? Fuck, I can’t do either whatsoever. Do you often find yourself correcting your parents? All the time, correcting my mom. I’m smarter than her in a lot of ways. If you could stop aging at a certain age, do you know what that age would be? I have to experience more ages in order to decide that. Do you more often eat off of real plates or paper plates? Ideally, paper plates. I’m a huge germaphobe. When I move out I’ll only purchase paper and plastic ware. Have you ever had tape over your mouth? Yeah. If you encountered someone you totally didn't know and he or she seemed to tell you the solutions to your uniquely specific problems without having been told what they were, would you be more thankful or freaked out? I’d probably develop feelings for them on the spot. Would you rather eat a raw egg or a scoop of raw hamburger? Raw egg sounds tasty. Do shy kids tend to grow up to be freaks? No. Unless...they’re sociopaths. But maybe sociopaths aren’t freaks either, just another type of person. When you put on a shirt, do you button up or down? I can’t wear shirts with buttons, since I have such a big bust, it completely flops every time. Do you scent your letters when you write to a special someone? Yeah...it’s sexy. Is punk influenced more by music or attitude? Music. Did you ever start a thread that got at least 40 posts? Yeah. Can you recall the ending of the last story you read? No. Have you ever had your head stuck in an unusual place? I don’t recall. Do you have any weird or funny local slang? IDK, does “Boca Bitch” count? People don’t really use it that often but it’s true and it’s a well-known term. When you come online, is there always one person you look for? Yeah...well, a few people. Do lava lamps make you sick looking at them? No, they’re aesthetic af, I want one, I always have. Will Hollywood ever run out of ideas for movies? It’s not that they’ve run out of ideas, they’re just lazy and only care about making money. Does P. Diddy telling everyone that he is the new Frank Sinatra make you want to roll your eyes? He was probably kidding. Do you think the state of the global environment will be better or worse in 50 years? Worse, of course. Global warming..and oil drilling. Endangered species. Do you eat dinner in the dining room or in the living room? In my bedroom. Which Mike Judge cartoon do you prefer: Beavis and Butthead or King of the Hill? King of the Hill. Have you ever fallen off your chair in public? Yeah. When sleeping, do you face the doorway or have your back to it? I sleep on my side. Do you find poetry that expresses pain and suffering to be more intriguing than other types? I don’t find poetry intriguing at all. Do you only pretend looks don't matter because you're ugly yourself? Looks do matter, though. Do you find limericks to be funny and clever or annoying? Again, not a poem fan. Do you think you'd be capable of representing yourself in court rather than hiring an attorney to do it for you? Maybe.. When you flirt with someone, is it obvious or more subtle? Obvious and awkward. Which character do you think weighs more: Jabba the Hutt or Fat Bastard? What? Do you think couples break up mainly because of differences they can't resolve or because they have found someone new? They get tired of each other. Do you reread things that are written well? Yes. What hurts more: getting poked in the eye or biting your tongue? Getting poked in the eye. Do you prefer merry-go-rounds or ferris wheels? Ferris wheels. You get to look at all the scenery, be intimate, and hang in the air. Which do you prefer: original or flavored Tootsie Rolls? Original. Chocolate is better than fruit flavouring. If you had three children, would you rather have two boys and a girl, or two girls and a boy? I don’t want kids. Is having a threesome basically approved cheating? It’s approved polyamory. Is it a turn off to you if the woman has a deep, manly voice or if the man has a high, pre-pubescent voice? No, I love it. Have you copied (or “ripped”) your entire CD collection onto your computer? When I was younger and had an iPod Nano. Do you have buns of steel? No. Did you use floaties on your arms when you were learning to swim? Yeah, and I still have trouble swimming even now. Did your first ever snog involve French kissing? Yes. Do you know a person who is physically unattractive and yet a flirt? Yeah, me. LOL. Are there a lot of programs on your computer that you don't know how to use? Adobe Audition af. I pretty much only use it to make instrumentals and have no idea how to do anything else with it. Do you live in an uncomfortable environment, such as where you feel you cannot be yourself? No, not really. If you had discovered a body on the side of the road would you see if it was still alive? Yes, and then call 911. Does punishing everyone for the actions of the few get us closer to utopia? Of course not. Can you finish an entire 2-liter bottle of soda by yourself in a single sitting? No. Have your parents ever forbidden you to play a certain type of music in their house? No. Since you reached dating age, have you been single for more than three years? Nope, but I suspect that will happen soon. When buying shampoo or soap, do you choose one because of what they put in it, or because you like the smell? What they put in it for shampoo -- I need dandruff control due to my psoriasis. Have you ever had writer's block? All the time. *** Have you given anything up for Lent? I’m not Catholic. Who was the last person you went shopping with? Myself, if you count online shopping. Are you planning on dyeing your hair any time soon? No. Who was the last person you saw that you haven’t seen in a while? Annalisa. Do you sing in front of people or only when you’re alone? Both. What kind of car do you have? I don’t have one. When was the last time you left your cell phone somewhere? Never. I’m super conscientious of where I put it. Are your nails manicured right now? They never are. Do you prefer fake tanning or real tanning? Neither. Are you more of a summer person or a winter person? Neither, I love spring the most. Would you rather go to a rock concert or a rap concert? Rock by FAAARRR. Have you ever dated someone that was a different race than you? Yeah, my ex was black. Do your parents ever tell you weird things you did as a kid? A lot. It interests me. How old is your best friend? What constitutes a best friend? What does your favorite necklace look like? I don’t wear jewelry. Are you keeping a secret from anyone? Yeah. Is there anything with stripes on it in the room you’re in? Probably. Too lazy to check. Can you count how many vacations you’ve been on in your lifetime? No. Would you take a million dollars if it meant you had to die a month later? Of course not. Do you have cold hands or are you generally a warm person? Cold hands. People are always telling me how cold my body is. Do you keep any type of diary or journal? Used to. I can never stick to it, though. What was the last thing that made you really happy? Hmm...don’t remember. Can you remember what you dreamed about last night? I did when I woke up, not anymore. Have you ever gotten kicked out of a class for being disruptive? OMG, all the time. What was the last thing someone bought for you? Something from my mom, don’t remember what. Do you have a good friend of the opposite sex that is not a boy/girlfriend? Yeah. Would you rather read a book or watch the movie? Watch the movie. I need the sensual experience and the visuals. Are you a visual, audio, or kinesthetic learner? Auditory x10000. Cover songs or the original song? The original. Are you where you want to be in life at this point in time? I’m on the way. *** Do you put your name on your food coverings? No. What is something you have acquired with age? Maturity, self-knowledge, musical taste, culture. When it comes to clothing, are you the conservative type? Yes and no. I love businesswear, but I also love crazy T-shirts. Would you ever go out in public sporting pajamas? 100%. Would be fun. Do you enjoy eating? Yeah, a little too much. Have you ever ridden in a race car? Go-Karts at Boomers, LOL! Do you enjoy making people laugh? Yeah, I’m a pretty funny person. Do you go out of your way to impress the opposite gender? I’m gay. What is something that would make you happy right now? Sleep. I’m tired af but am determined to finish this survey. Are you a hygiene nut? No, but I am hygienic. Are you open-minded? Completely. Are you mathematically inclined? NOOO, it’s my worst subject. I’m linguistically inclined. What is something for which you have no patience? Technological issues and hypocrisy. Are you too concerned/worried with your appearance? No, I’m way too UNconcerned. Do you tend to be a jealous person? Yeah, but I’ve been getting a bit better about that...I think...OK, not really. Do you enjoy history? Nope, unless I’m learning about a place I’m traveling to and the history of the sites I visit/activities I do. Are you a pajama person or do you stay dressed all day? Pajamas, unless I’m going out and feel funky. Do you value looks or personality more? Both. Have you ever changed religions? Not really. I was raised a culturally Jewish atheist, and I’ve stayed that way. Do you have a high tolerance for people? Yeah, unless they’re hypocrites or homophobes/transphobes. Is there anyone to whom you are afraid to stand up? No. Do people interest you? Totally. *** Category One: Clothing I wear Converse. I wear plain black skate shoes. I really love dresses. I wear a lot of band t-shirts. I wear a lot of black. I like wearing skirts and dresses with Converse. People at my school often copy my style. I love jeans. I dress the way I want to, I don’t care what anyone thinks about my style. Wearing clothes I like gives me a lot more confidence. I don’t really look to anyone else for style ideas. Category Two: General Appearance Something about my appearance is very unique and distinct. I have more than one birth mark. I have very tanned skin. I tan extremely easily in the summer. I am skinny. But I have curves. I wear glasses. I have my father’s eyes. My self-esteem has been getting much better. People have told me straight up that they are jealous of my body - and it feels good to get compliments like that. I don’t spend a lot of time getting ready - I basically look the way I do when I wake up. Category Three: Annoyances I hate when people are overly cocky and arrogant. I hate when people make assumptions - they’re normally totally off. When I’m standing in line at a cash or something, I hate when people stand practically on top of me. It doesn’t make the line move any faster! I strongly dislike when I get excess lotion or water in between my fingers, and I don’t really understand why. If someone pisses me off enough, I’m not shy to tell them off. If someone is asked to stop doing something more than once, I feel it’s okay to start yelling at them. I hate hypocrites - but I can be a hypocrite myself sometimes. I hate people who act like know-it-alls. And I hate it even more when it’s a subject I know more about than them. I absolutely hate when people try to drag me into their pathetic drama. My number one pet peeve is when someone has too many pet peeves. Category Four: Surveys I find it stupid when people take the tags off surveys, but survey makers who go as far as making a “hate list” for all those who do it are just assholes themselves. I think I may have a serious addiction to surveys… Oh well! If you’re going to insult me directly more than once while taking a survey I made, then don’t even bother taking my survey. In a way I’m a hypocrite for saying that, because if there’s no tag on the survey, then I will call the survey maker an idiot and whatnot, if I seriously feel they are and if I’m in that bad of a mood. (*rolls eyes*) I’d be a millionaire if I got paid to do this! Why do survey makers insist on having a certain number of comments and subscribers before they make another survey? This is for fun, it isn’t a business, and you aren’t making money off of it, so why are you being so anal about communication with your survey-takers? I don’t see the point in lying on surveys. Why take them if you aren’t going to tell the truth? Category Five: Things I Seriously Love Coffee, and caffeine in general. The show Pawn Stars. Feeling good about myself. Encouraging other people to stay positive and be strong. Tattoos and piercings. Anthropology, sociology, and psychology. Making and taking surveys. Dreadlocks. Rain and thunderstorms. Music, of course. Random, interesting facts. Category Six: Music I can play piano. I can play bass. I can sort of play guitar. I listen to music every day. I own at least three instruments. I still buy CDs. I really want to learn to play drums. I wouldn’t mind learning to play the violin as well. Practically everyone in my family can play some sort of instrument. I used to take dance lessons. Category Seven: Photography I own a FujiFilm camera. I take walks so I can take pictures. I have a folder on my computer of pictures I’ve taken. I love taking pictures of fireworks. I also love taking pictures of nature. One of my favorite settings on my camera is macro. I have a blink detector on my camera. My camera takes amazing, bright, vivid photos. I want to make a photo album of pictures that I’ve taken. I wouldn’t mind being a photographer. I don’t know what I would do without my (phone) camera.  Category Eight: Relationships & Friendships I have serious trouble keeping lasting friendships. But I have no trouble keeping a lasting romantic relationship. Those two don’t directly relate to each other - I don’t ditch my friends for my partner, ever. I have been in a relationship for almost two and a half years. It is my first relationship. I have only ever kissed one person. My partner and I have been in a band together. In my opinion, friends are for socializing, not relying on for rough times. I love going out with friends. I have been in a band with all my best friends before. I have been verbally and psychologically abused by friends before. I have punched one of my friends in the face.