#but i was so broken and depressed that i passed and just crawled to trap myself in job i still have

[katyspersonal]

I know this is supposed to be a stressful thing, but hearing everyone talk about dying from finals makes me a bit nostalgic and even jealous? I just miss university times so goddamn much.

It was really good to spend half of the day listening to the teachers talk about stuff I found interesting, and have to discipline myself to read/write to certain deadlines. (And to have much more free time..) Adult life with full time job just isn't the same. Every day is like another and new information isn't flowing as much but self-studying is less fun without a teacher and the whole class interested in the same topic. I even miss homeworks that I was putting more effort into than any sane person would! Much older and much more experienced people regularly praising my effort and depth of my thought was a crucial validation resource to think of it :')

[theidiotwhowritesthings]

Congratulations on hitting this milestone!! Can I request the random number 18 and Bucky please??

[a/n: i haven't written for Bucky in 900 years and when I finally do it's this depressing piece🤡 in my defense, i just did what the numbers told me to do!]

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warning: Angst, it's just angst, like shit man I'm sorry lol

Word Count: 500

Dialogue Prompt #18: "I miss you." + "The truth is I don't miss you anymore."

Bucky wasn’t quite sure how all of this had gotten so convoluted. It was his fault though. Of that, he was sure. He had gotten in his head about you. Instead of letting himself enjoy your company, enjoy your smile and voice, enjoy your loving heart, Bucky pushed you away. The ironic part of this all was that he had pushed you away in fear of losing you. 

“I miss you.” Bucky whispered and he didn’t hide the absolute devastation and pain in his voice. He wanted you to hear how broken he was. He wanted you to know that of all the sins he committed⏤ and Christ, did he have quite the list of them⏤ hurting you was near the top. You had saved him. Maybe not physically, but mentally and emotionally. For so long, Bucky had been an empty shell. A husk of the man he once was. It wasn’t until he met you that his chest began to ache with emotion once more. Meeting you had been a gift. You had been the first warm sunrise of a cold and dark winter, and with the light you carried in your heart you pulled him from the cavern of sorrow and guilt he had settled in. 

Everything had started so perfect, but like a man with an obsession his mind couldn’t help but ruminate on the worst case scenario. He should have been soaking up every ounce of love that radiated from you, but instead he hyper focused on what it would feel like to lose your warmth. Bucky couldn’t bat away the thoughts of you being taken from him. They plagued him day and night. His list of enemies was long. Hell, Bucky considered himself an enemy. With the blood that stained his hands, a part of him was still terrified that the progress and success Wakanda had with cleaning his mind of HYDRA would regress. A monster would crawl out of his soul and devour you whole. 

So, he pushed you away⏤ ignored you⏤ and told himself over and over that this was for your sake. Not his. Bucky was protecting you. Time had passed, agonizingly slow without you by his side, and Bucky finally realized the mistake he had made. He sought you out. Fell on his knees in front of you and begged for forgiveness. He was a man trapped in a desolate winter once more and he was screaming at the sky for one more ray of light regardless of how undeserving he was of it.

When you opened your mouth to reply, the words that left your lips were not startling. Bucky could not fault you for them. This was the bed he had made and now he was forced to lay in it. He would live in the cold darkness, aching for a light that was not going to return, and the words of his sun would forever echo in his shattered soul.

“The truth is I don’t miss you anymore.”

[dejunectar]

everything i wanted | Jaehyun

«« genre »» hurt/comfort, angst, fluff

«« pairings »» jaehyun x reader

«« warnings »» major character death, mentions of self-harm, suicidal ideations, alcohol abuse

«« summary »» 5 months after the death of your best friend, ((jungwoo {this ties into THIS jungwoo fic})) your boyfriend comes to visit you for the first time in awhile, worried and finds you in shambles & worse than he thought

«« song/inspiration »» everything i wanted by billie eilish & the anon who came up with this absolutely lovely idea <33

————————————————————

5 months. 3 weeks. 5 days. 19 hours. 43 minutes.

All the time that had passed since your best friend, your go-to, your number one person in the whole world, had decided to leave this life. The decision to leave his life. The decision to leave your life.

From the moment you got the phone call from Doyoung, who was short of breath and barely able to make a sentence, you knew your world was crumbling around you.

You’d never driven so fast in your life, but no matter how quickly you made it to the hospital, it would never make a difference. There was nothing you could do. There was nothing the boys could do. There was nothing the doctors could do.

You held onto your boyfriend, Jaehyun, for dear life as you watched the doctor walk towards your group with a grim frown. You listened in horror as he told you that there was no way to save him. They tried their best but it was too late. Jaehyun had to hold you up as your knees gave out on you, but even he barely had strength for himself.

You didn’t sleep that night. You didn’t sleep the next two weeks as a matter of fact. The only way you could get yourself to sleep was a Tylenol and a bottle of beer.

You spiraled. You were quickly losing touch with reality, waking up each day and forgetting that you couldn’t go to call Jungwoo to hang out. Each time the voicemail came up and you heard his voice it only shattered you more. You were turning into dust.

After a month, you moved out of your old apartment and left to a cabin in the woods that your parents used to own. They’d left it for you but you never visited until then. You thought moving out into the woods would help you clear your head.

Instead, you couldn’t escape it.

You were trapped in your own thoughts.

Each night only got progressively worse and worse.

Jaehyun made it a plan to drive up and visit you twice a week to make sure you were okay. Although things had gone tense between you two, neither of you wanted to break up. It was the last thing either of you needed. When he stayed with you in the cabin, you spent hours wrapped in each other’s arms.

One of you crying, the other consoling. Sometimes you both cried. Sometimes neither of you cried. Regardless, you spent the time wrapped up in each other, clinging as if the other were close to slipping away.

Unfortunately, Jaehyun hadn’t been up to the cabin to see you in just over a month. Your brain blamed you and your depression only made it worse. You began drinking again, but this time it was much heavier and much more often.

After you went through your beer supply, you slowly started going through the wine supply that your parents had kept away for celebrations.

One night, you couldn’t contain your thoughts and it all got too loud to handle. Crying led to yelling. Yelling led to throwing things. Throwing things led to glass being shattered around the entire place. The thoughts kept taking over. No matter how hard you tried to block them out, they refused to leave.

At last, you lifted a glass shard from the wooden floor and brought it to your skin.

Jaehyun finally made it up to your cabin. It was supposed to rain that night, and he was worried about you since you hadn’t returned his calls for a week. He blamed it on your poor service but made the trip up anyway.

He already had a key, so he let himself in, carrying groceries with him. As he made it into the door, his eyes scanned across the cabin.

Books were scattered, vases had been broken, glass covered a majority of the floor, and the furniture had dark and light stains all over it. He carefully set the groceries on the floor and hung his key beside the door before stepping into the place.

“Y/N? Y/N, I’m here!” he called out, walking in further. The farther he walked in, the more mess he saw. A deep sigh left his lips.

A loud thumping noise sounded from upstairs, causing him to look around once more before making his way up the stairs. When he entered the hallway, he noticed all of the pictures that once littered the walls were now taken down, leaving a lighter shade than the rest of the walls.

“Babe?” he called out once more, walking down to your room and swinging the door open. His eyes scanned the room for any sight of you. He didn’t see you anywhere but he heard a soft crying sound coming from your closet.

He breathed heavily before slowly moving towards the sound. When he finally approached the closet, his eyes fell to see you slumped to the ground with red everywhere. Your arms. Your thighs. The bottom of your feet.

“Oh God, Y/N—” he cursed under his breath and quickly pulled you up into him. Your blood painted his white shirt and jeans but he didn’t care. You continued crying, beginning to grow louder. “Why, why, why?” he hissed as he carried you to the bathroom.

You left your eyes on the ground, afraid to look him in the eye. Once in the bathroom, he sat you on the counter and began running bathwater. As he began to undress you, you shook your head and cried harder, leaning against his shoulder, “I can’t— I’m s— I’m so sorry, Jaehyun!”

He shushed your cries and ran a thumb across your cheek. “It’s okay, I’m here now, yeah? Let’s get you cleaned up.”

Once you were naked, he carefully led you into the bathtub and stopped the water. You didn’t hiss or flinch at the burning sensation the warm water caused towards your open cuts. You sat there, weakly leaning against the bathroom wall as Jaehyun searched for soap and a rag to clean you.

When he finished bathing you, he wrapped bandages around your arms, thighs, and feet. The cuts on your feet had come from the glass, and for this reason, he made sure to clean that up as well. Whilst you got dressed, he ordered pizza for both of you and began cleaning up the empty bottles that were scattered around the house.

It hurt to walk, so he demanded you stay sitting on the couch while cleaning up. Even though you offered to help countless times, he rejected the idea and reassured you that he wasn’t upset with you and wanted you to rest.

Sure enough, you dozed off for the first time in weeks, without the help of medicine or alcohol.

When you awoke, Jaehyun was beside you, watching a program on the TV. You didn’t speak up until he noticed you were awake and pressed a kiss to your temple.

“I’m sorry I’m putting you through this, I know you didn’t sign up for any of—”

He turned off the TV and hushed you. “Y/N, I love you. I know you’re not okay right now, and that’s okay. I’m not okay either. We lost someone we loved and we’re grieving. I’m not saying that I’m okay with you excessively drinking or hurting yourself, but I’m telling you that you don’t have to apologize to me for anything. If anything I should apologize to you for not coming up here sooner, okay?”

Tears welled up in your eyes and your lip trembled. You refused to look into his eyes, not feeling worthy enough. Jaehyun only sighed and pulled you in closer to him, pressing several kisses to your head and humming.

“I love you. Everything will be okay. It might not be okay right now, but it will be. I promise,” he mumbled and wrapped both arms around you. You took comfort in his arms and carefully crawled into his lap, wrapped your own arms around him.

For the remainder of the night, things were as they usually were. You both spent the time together in each other’s arms or just in each other’s presence. You were still shattered, but Jaehyun being there was enough to begin finding the pieces and gluing them back together.

It stormed heavily. Rain hit the windows and roof and lightning struck around the night sky, making claps of thunder rumble the world around you.

With the darkness surrounding you, your heart thudded against your chest with fear. Jaehyun felt you tense up in his arms as you laid in bed and automatically began humming softly to lull you to sleep. Within mere minutes, you were surely drifting back off into slumber.

———————————————————

[phantomnationdraws]

I Love You 3000

It’s here it’s here it’s heeeeere!!! The final product of the collab between myself and @thdorkmagnet​!! I strongly recommend listening to this version of the Blood Moon Waltz as you read, for maximum feels.

https://soundcloud.com/ubercelloczar/cleaved-together

Marco ran up the driveway of his house, panting from exertion as he jogged steadily on the uneven ground, clutching a large box tightly in his hands, making sure not to ruin the steaming hot pizza inside. He didn’t slow for a second, keeping his focus and attention entirely on the front door to his house, which he kicked open without hesitation, lacking the hands to turn the doorknob, already knowing it was left unlocked. After all, any burglar dumb enough to try and break in would find himself biting off way more than he could chew, since both he and Star were well trained in combat. 

The red-clad teen was breathing heavily as he stepped into the living room of his wonderful home, the lights all turned off and what had to be at least a dozen candles all lit and scattered about the room, creating an absolutely breathtaking and romantic atmosphere. The boy used the back of his foot to close the door behind him, before calling out loudly to his seemingly empty house, “Star, I’m home!” 

Normally, he would keep his voice down this late at night out of fear of waking his family up but both Mariposa and his parents were gone for the night, his sister to stay overnight with her best friend Meteora and his parents away on an overnight camping trip in the Forest of Certain Death with Star’s parents (the four adults becoming very close friends in the few years since the Great Cleaving), leaving the house to just him and Star. Just the way they wanted it. 

The boy took a few steps forward, looking around for his girlfriend somewhere in the darkness of the room, only to be practically toppled over as Star appeared out of nowhere and trapped him in a surprise hug. “Marco!” she shouted in delight, squeezing him as tightly as ever, while the hooded teen screamed, holding the box over his head to avoid dropping it as Star continued to cling to his midsection. “I’m so glad you’re back!” the blonde cheered, her voice as bubbly as ever and the boy couldn’t help but grin.

“Yep, I’m back,” Marco said with an enthusiastic smile down at his loving girlfriend. “Sorry it took me so long, Emilio’s was closed after a herd of Snippergriffs apparently got inside, so I had to improvise.”

Star rolled her eyes, finally releasing her grip on her Marco, putting her hands on her hips. “Ugh, dang, Snippergriffs, they ruin everything!” the blonde muttered angrily, cursing the very nature of the pesky critters of her homeland. 

Marco, seeing his girlfriend’s distraught behavior, quickly changed the subject as he looked around the room, which almost radiated with an otherworldly glow. “I see you were busy while I was gone.” 

Star’s bright enthusiasm returned full-force as she looked around the room with pride, saying with satisfaction, “Yeah, I thought this way it would all be much more romantic.” She arched her eyebrows knowingly on the last word, causing Marco to chuckle. “Do you like it?” the girl asked hopefully, her hands hovering near her mouth in anticipation for her boyfriend’s opinion.

The boy nodded happily. “I love it! It’s perfect, Star,” Marco said, setting the pizza down on a nearby coffee table. “Now then, do you know what today is?” the boy asked, doing little finger guns in the air for emphasis.

“Uhh,” Star began, thinking the question over. “Date night?”

Marco shook his head, “Well, yeah but you know what else it is?”

“Hmmm,” the blonde said, tapping a finger to her chin. “Friendship Thursday?”

The hooded teen frowned in disappointment, asking in a hinting tone, “Anything else?”

Star contemplated this for a few seconds, the boy growing more and more disappointed with each passing second before Star snapped her fingers and said confidently, “The last day for Stop N’ Slurp’s half-off sale.”

Marco shrank at that answer, looking sadly at the ground. He couldn’t believe Star had forgotten how special today was. The blonde seeing the depressed look on her boyfriend’s face, quickly added, “Marco, I’m just teasing of course I know what today is.”

The latino’s sad frown turned into a bright grin as he and Star shouted as one, “The anniversary of the Blood Moon Ball!” The two burst out into laughter at their shared sentence, Star clutching her stomach as she practically doubled-over from her giggle fit, Marco very lightly grabbing onto the girl’s shoulders to keep her upright as he tried to fight through his own laughter. Finally, the two recovered from their laughing fit, wiping tears from their eyes as Marco said, “Can’t believe we still do that.”

“I know, right,” Star said, opening the box of pizza and taking out a slice. She plopped down on the couch, before patting the seat next to her beckoning Marco over. The boy smiled, picking up his own slice, before sitting down beside her, the girl laying sideways on the couch and resting her legs on the boy’s lap as she practically inhaled the pizza slice, munching on it greedily. “It’s funny,” Star said, in between bites of food, not even bothering to swallow as she spoke in a muffled tone. “After the curse was broken, I thought we wouldn’t do that anymore” 

“Guess it had nothing to do with the curse,” Marco replied, before taking a bite of his own slice.

“Guess not,” Star said, before moaning in delight. “Oh man, Marco! This pizza is delicious!”  

Marco nodded his head in agreement, “Yeah, it is! Looks like we just found our new favorite pizza place, right Star?”

Star giggled, before saying in a teasing tone, “Don’t let Emilio hear you say that, considering what happened last time.”

Marco blushed, looking away from his pretty girlfriend. “Come on, Star. That was like three years ago,” he whined in embarrassment.

Star laughed at her Marco’s cuteness before sitting up and planting a kiss on his bright red cheek. “You’re adorable,” she cooed.

“Not as adorable as you,” Marco replied with a playful smirk, his cheeks just slightly painted pink.

“Aww, Marco,” the blonde gushed, putting a hand to her flushing cheeks. “You spoil me.”

“Oh, then just wait and see what I have planned for later,” the hooded teen said with a wink.

Star’s eyes widened in curiosity, before demanding, “Ooh, tell me, tell me, tell me!”

Marco shook his head stubbornly. “Nuh uh, it’s a surprise,” the boy declared. 

“Aww come on, Marco, just tell me,” the girl pouted, crawling into his lap as she gave him sad, puppy-dog eyes. 

“Nope, your famous pout isn’t working on me this time,” the boy said, raising his head up so he wouldn’t meet her hypnotic eyes. He knew from experience how easy it was to fall into that trap.

“Oh, Marco,” Star said in a sing-song voice, grabbing his chin and pulling his head down so their eyes met. “Just tell me, pwease.” She gave him the saddest, most heart wrenching look she had in her arsenal, even going so far as to whine and quiver her lip.

Marco felt his will crack, his pupils shrinking as he stared into the gorgeous eyes of his favorite person in the world. There were few things that could sway Marco’s judgement and make him lose all sense of anything, and he was staring into one of them right now, the crystal blue of her wide eyes making his heart do a dance. 

“Ok, fine,” the boy groaned in defeat, he knew when he had been bested by his bestie. 

The blonde clapped her hands, shouting in joy, “Yay!”

He quickly moved his girlfriend off his lap, before saying, “Be right back, I left it in my room.”

“Okay!” Star called after him, practically hopping on the couch as she watched him leave. In the span of about thirty seconds Marco returned, the blonde having time to engulf another slice of the delicious pizza before staring up at her boyfriend with curious blue eyes, her cheeks still stuffed with pizza.

Marco couldn’t help but grin down at the love of his life, her expression making his heart melt all over again. Could she seriously get any cuter? he thought to himself.

“Okay, so, I was gonna wait a little bit before showing you this,” Marco began, keeping his hands behind his back so as to not spoil his surprise. “But then, someone had to go and cheat.” He gave her a halfhearted glare.

The girl swallowed her food before smirking mischievously. “Come on, you know you love me,” she said flirtingly.

The boy nodded at that before declaring with zero hesitation, “Of course I do. But that still doesn’t make it alright.” He gave her a teasing look, which she returned with one of her own.

“Hey, all’s fair in love and war, Diaz,” Star said with a playful wink.

“Anyways,” the boy continued, getting back on subject before he found himself gushing over his cute girlfriend all over again. “I figured since this is a special occasion, I’d show you this.”

He held out a pair of earbuds to Star who eyed them questioningly. “Uh, Marco, I already know you have earbuds.”

“Put one in,” Marco told her cryptically.

Star hesitantly obeyed, confusion still obvious on her face as she inserted the small circular device into her left ear. But as the soft notes hit her tender eardrum Star’s mouth fell open, listening in disbelief as the smooth melody she knew by heart played, every note practically etched into her heart. A flood of memories came back to her at once, filling her with euphoric nostalgia, as the unmistakable notes of the Blood Moon Waltz played into her ear. 

She looked up at Marco with disbelief, who had been watching her closely for her reaction and he smiled brightly. “You- How did you- Where did-” the girl stuttered, unable to find words as a lump formed in her throat, tears filling at the edges of her eyes as she choked on a small sob.

Marco stared down at her with soft, loving eyes as he asked her simply, “Do you like it?”

Star nodded, wiping at her eyes to free them of happy tears. “I love it!” she squeaked out. “How did you even find this song?”

The boy shrugged. “I have my ways.”

“Tom,” the girl guessed.

“Tom,” the boy confirmed with a slight nod. “He had a version recorded just for us.”

“I missed this song so much,” the girl sighed, melting into the music as she lost herself to the irresistible tune. 

For a few seconds, the two just listened to the graceful melody, before Marco sucked in a breath and held out a hand to his girlfriend. “May I have this dance?”

Star giggled, taking his hand and allowing him to pull her to her feet, before dropping into a graceful curtsey. “You may, kind sir.”

The two shared a laugh as they moved closer to each other, their bodies pressed together as they locked hands. Marco rested a hand on the small of Star’s back, drawing her even closer to his warm presence as he drank in her smell. She always smelled of roses and vanilla and he felt his heart rate increase as she laid her head against this chest. 

The boy then began to lead them in a slow waltz around the dimly lit living room, their movements slow but purposeful, moving perfectly in time and sync with their chosen partner. The sound of the gentle waltz drowning out the world around them until it was just the two of them, captured in this moment in time. 

Star couldn’t think of when she had been happier, surrounded by warm feelings and sounds as she listened with one ear to the graceful ball music and, with the other, was soothed by the rhythmic pumping of her dear Marco’s heartbeat. The girl snuggled into Marco’s chest after a moment, just loving having him here with her. Nothing in all of Earthni able to make her happier. 

Marco clutched Star tightly against him, listening to her gentle breathing as he rested his cheek on the top of her head, her soft hair tickling his skin, and he smiled, feeling complete. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have Star in his life, and there wasn’t a day that went by that he didn’t thank all the forces in the universe for this chance to be loved by someone as wonderful as Star Butterfly.  

The two sighed in contentment as they let the music wash over them, taking them back to a simpler time when it was just the two of them trapped under the glow of a single red light. And just like that, it was as if they were back in that moment, time falling away from them as the music continued on an endless loop, sealing them inside its graceful notes. 

The two smiled in bliss, their cheeks beginning to burn as, without warning, a pair of hearts and crescent moons formed on their cheeks, remnants of the magical connection the two shared, one that defied logic and space itself. Nothing in the universe could separate the two again as they shared this dance. 

“Marco,” the girl whispered, her eyes still closed as she was led slowly around in a circle. 

“Hmm?” the boy muttered, incapable of words at the moment, a swirl of emotions causing his head to spin.

“I missed this,” Star said simply, her hand squeezing his tightly.

The boy paused for a moment, not entirely sure what she meant when she said ‘this’. Until he realized she meant dancing to this song and he almost choked on a sob. “Me too,” he replied softly.

“I’m glad we didn’t lose this moment,” Star continued, and Marco felt his heart swell to almost bursting. “Cause there’s no one I’d rather be here with than you. And I just have to tell you one more thing...” Then Star gently leaned her head in, gazing in wonder at Marco’s loving eyes. She took her chance to whisper something in his ear, something that caused the Latino’s cheeks to turn crimson. Marco smiled dorkily before kissing her forehead softly. “Same here, Star,” he said as their eyes met in another tender glow, pupils shining in the glow of their cheeks and candlelight, reflecting all the thoughts and feelings and emotions that had brought them to this moment. Time had lost on meaning on the two young souls as they continued their dance for what felt to them like eternity.

“Same here.”

[honey-dewey]

Five Car Pileup

Pairing: Jack ‘Whiskey’ Daniels/Reader

Word Count: 2,162

Warnings: Where to start? Probably medical inaccuracies, amputation, car accident, blood, gore, mentions of needles, mentions of death, Jack gets depressed but not for long, the reader has to cut Jack’s arm off without painkillers, but surprisingly no one dies, and I do promise it has a happy ending. This one’s harsh y’all, proceed with caution.

Permanent Taglist: @phoenixhalliwell @star-wars-hell

Nothing marks a day as ‘bad’ like having a painful 24 hour shift, two patients die in your care, and at the last ten minutes of your shift, a five car pileup where at least one man was severely injured. However, that man is your former boyfriend Jack Daniels, and boy oh boy is he in trouble. 

Short A/N: PLEASE pay attention to the warnings! This story is a doozy! Be careful, drive safely, and stay safe! 

You took a breath, leaning against the ambulance and finally scrubbing your hands down your face. This was why you didn’t wear any heavy makeup during night shifts. Mostly because no one cared, but partially so you could rub your face without worry.

The night had been unnecessarily long. You’d started working almost twenty four hours ago, and the constant work was starting to weigh on your shoulders. Two patients had died today, both while you were in the room with them. One had been an old woman who’d been battling cancer for years now, and the other had been a teenager who’d asked you to hold her hand as she passed. It was horribly taxing, and all you wanted to do was go home and make some tea, maybe curl up on the couch with a sappy movie or something while you slept away the past 24 hours.

A chiming brought your attention back, and you checked your watch, breathing out. Ten minutes until your shift was over. Ten minutes. Ten minutes.

And then your pager went off.

“Shit!” You yelled, grabbing it off your waist and looking at it. Swearing even more, you flagged down a paramedic running to the ambulance you were leaning against. The hospital was understaffed, as always, and they needed you to make a run with the paramedics. Something about a severe car accident, estimated five cars with at least one man badly injured. Groaning loudly, you hopped into the ambulance as it took off, sirens wailing. Of course. Of course you had an emergency within the last ten minutes of your shift.

The wreck wasn’t too far out, which was nice. You’d hate to be in charge of any patient for an hour long ride to the hospital. As the ambulance pulled to a stop, you jumped out, going into work mode. Car wrecks weren’t an uncommon event, and you’d had your fair share of wreck patients. Either they were ridiculously over-exaggerated or horribly under-exaggerated. Either way, this would be bad.

Taking in the wreck, you counted the vehicles. Five, as expected. Two trucks, two cars, and one SUV. The other paramedics began to examine the people standing on the side, a fire truck pulling up along with a handful of cop cars.

“There’s still someone trapped in there!” A woman with three kids by her side said to you as you circled the wreck. “He got my kids out, but he’s stuck and we can’t get him out.”

You nodded to the woman, seeing a wayward boot sticking out between the flipped cab of one of the trucks and the scraped door of a car. “I see him!”

Getting on your stomach, you managed to wiggle into the wreck, army crawling against the glass scattered ground. Calling out to the other paramedics and the firemen, you found the victim.

Scooting so you were parallel to the body, you reached out and managed to flip the head towards you, gasping. Jack Daniels, an old flame of yours. Blood stained the side of his head, and one eye was swollen shut. Every inch of skin that you could see was grimy and scattered with glass shards. He blinked his left eye open, a tiny, wavering grin blossoming as he saw you. “Hello darling. Here to rescue me?”

“Yes Jack,” you said calmly, hearing the firemen begin to move the truck above you. “Where does it hurt?”

Jack winced. “Arm. Right one. I think it’s stuck.”

“Okay,” you said, looking around. There was space to Jack’s left, and you moved out from his right so you could lay on his left. There was nothing separating you now, and you were able to take Jack’s heart rate and blood pressure, all while slowly treating his other, smaller wounds. Finally, you could face it no longer. You had to check the worst of the damage.

“Alright, let me see that arm,” you said, shimmying down so you were close to his arm. It was, as assumed, stuck. The SUV door had broken off and was now laying on Jack’s arm right near the shoulder, the thin strip of metal pressing into his skin not giving you any hope. “Jack.”

“That’s my name.”

“Jack the arm has to go.”

Silence. It was the unfortunate reality. Nothing could save him now. “The other paramedics can get you out, but this arm is too stuck. The SUV door isn’t going anywhere, and if I don’t take it off.”

The unsaid threat hung heavy in the air. Jack took a breath, and you could see his chest rise as he considered his options. “Will it hurt?”

“Like nothing you’ve ever experienced,” you said softly, words getting caught on your unusually tight throat. You’d scooted back up so you and Jack were face to face. The sound of another car being moved, exposing your back, crunched through the air.

Jack turned his face to look at you, swollen eye leaking tears. “Just do it.”

You nodded, taking his trapped hand and kissing it, wanting his last experience with both hands to be, at least, mildly pleasant.

“Let me go see if we have painkillers,” you said slowly, rolling out from the wreck.

Standing to face the paramedics, you explained the situation. They’d have to pull him out as soon as you were done if there was going to be any chance for him to survive. Grabbing a syringe full of the strongest painkillers you could find and a battery powered saw, you took a forced breath and got back under the car.

Jack was waiting, taking deep, slow breaths. “Hey darling.”

“Hey Jack,” you said, wiggling around until you could securely give him the painkillers. “How’s work been?”

“Oh, y’know,” Jack mumbled, wincing as you stuck him. “Same old, same old.”

You nodded. A while into your relationship, Jack had trusted you with the true secret of his job. You had never visited the Statesman secret service building, but the stories were amazing and usually hilarious. “Think they’ll be able to make you a fancy new arm?”

Jack chuckled weakly. “Yeah. All the bells and whistles.” He was quiet for a minute as you tried to still your shaking hands. “Darling?”

“Yeah?”

“When this is all over,” Jack said slowly, so slowly you feared he was losing consciousness. “How about a date? Out to that old restaurant you liked, the one where they had all their herbs and veggies growing out back.”

You smiled, reaching a hand through the shattered SUV window and caressing Jack’s face. “I’d like that Jack. I’d like that a lot. You survive this, and I’ll absolutely go out with you again. I do miss our conversations.”

Jack grinned, his one open eye blinking slowly. “Yeah. Sounds good.”

You moved back down, calling out to the paramedics who no doubt had a grip on Jack’s body and were waiting for you to do your job. “Ready!”

“Ready!” The call back was horrifying, and you positioned the saw above the line where the arm was trapped. From this angle, it would be tricky, but possible.

“Ready,” came Jack’s weak voice, and you shut your eyes tight for a split second before gathering yourself, putting on a brave face and your work emotions, and doing your damn job.

It was agony. Jack screamed, a horribly pained scream that tore at his throat and made you want to cry. He flailed, broken pleas for you to stop bubbling in between the screaming. The other paramedics held his limbs, securing him down so he didn’t screw up your hack job. You hoped the three children couldn’t hear as you kept going, working through skin, muscle, and bone. Jack’s continued screams made your blood run cold as you did your job quickly, finally able to shout “pull!”

Jack disappeared from your view as you collapsed onto the ground. Blood stained you from head to toe, and it took two men to help you to your feet. As you stumbled across the bloodied asphalt, your knees weak, two firemen took you and got you as clean as possible, wrapping you in a shock blanket and reassuring you that everything was okay. The mother with her two kids was gone, blissfully, but a few other spectators had remained, each visibly shaken by what they’d just heard and seen.

The ambulance with Jack in it was already gone by the time you were back in focus. “He’s gonna be okay?” You rasped, leaning against a paramedic you knew well.

Lawrence nodded. “He’ll be fine. C’mon, let’s get you home.”

In the end, you did go home. For almost twelve hours, you slept on the couch, making Lawrence swear to call you if anything happened to Jack. No such call came, so when you stumbled into work the next day, you were unsurprised but overjoyed to find Jack alive and recovering slowly. He was still unconscious, and was mostly being kept alive by machines, but you were ecstatic to see his heartbeat steady on the monitor.

“Hey you,” Lawrence said, coming up behind you. “You did good yesterday.”

“Didn’t feel good,” you said, avoiding looking at the thick white bandages that covered Jack’s hacked at shoulder.

Lawrence sighed. “He’s alive,” he reminded you. “Because of you. The boys and I were talking. None of us would’ve had the courage to crawl into that wreck and cut his arm off at that angle.”

You shrugged. “I’m never doing that again.”

“I bet.”

It took Jack months to recover enough for visitors. He was in your section, meaning you were taking care of him. For almost two months he was silent and mostly unresponsive, only really ever turning his head and shrugging when he had to. The wound healed nicely, and by the end of month three, you deemed him okay for visitors.

His first visitor was a woman in a neat button up. She was holding a white box and you recognized her very faintly.

“You can call me Ginger,” she said when you asked for her name. You nodded, suddenly remembering her. Ginger. One of Jack’s coworkers.

Jack was happy to see Ginger. He didn’t smile, but his posture shifted. Ginger set the box on the bed near his feet. “Daniels. How’s the hospital been treating you?”

“Better than the Statesman med center,” Jack said, and you grinned. That was the man you knew, sass and snark.

Ginger sat in a chair. “Well, you’ll be pleased to know that, while the hatter wasn’t happy to hear you destroyed his favorite hat, he made you a new one.” She opened the box and pulled out a pristine cowboy hat. Gently placing it on Jack’s head, she gave the brim a playful flick. “There’s the cowboy we’re all missing at work.”

Jack sighed, ducking his head down. With a jolt, you realized he was smiling. Jack was smiling again.

Another month passed, during which Jack returned to his former attitude. He attended PT daily, often with you beside him as he swore loudly while trying to maneuver the fake kitchen the physical therapy department had with one hand. When he was finally cleared for discharge, you went to your boss with a request.

“I want to be transferred,” you said. “Just for the time being, until Daniels returns to work. I want to be made his primary carer.”

It took some negotiating, but you walked out of the office with a new job. Jack put his arm around you as he waved to the various nurses and doctors who had saved his life, walking out of the hospital for the first time in months.

Your first stop was Statesman.

Champ was, as expected, sympathetic. Ginger was happy to see Jack back at work, and Tequila made exactly one stump joke before you kneed him in the dick and told him to fuck off.

Ginger also insisted on getting some scans and measurements of his shoulder. You held his left hand while Ginger uncovered the unsightly wound. He hissed at the contact, but Ginger kept her touch nice and light as she worked.

“I can build a prosthetic,” she decided finally. “It’ll function just like your old arm, and we can even build a flesh sleeve so it’ll look the same. I don’t think I can give it pain receptors though.”

Jack shook his head, sliding his shirt back on. “That’s fine. Don’t need anything fancy.”

You smiled, opening the door and taking Jack’s hand as he waved goodbye to Ginger.

“I believe I promised you a date,” Jack said as you two walked away from the Statesman infirmary, still hand in hand.

“I believe you did,” you said, following Jack through the building. “But I’m driving.”

Jack grinned, and you were glad, despite your fears months ago, that you’d been brave enough to step up and take the charge to save Jack’s life. “Well then, what are we waiting for, darling?”

[retromotherfuckers]

Six Years (Part 2)

Pairing:

Past/Eventual Bellamy Blake x Fem!Kane!Reader, Platonic Octavia Blake

Summary:

Octavia knew who she was now, but you couldn’t figure out what the hell you had become.

Warning:

ANGST, themes of addiction, depictions of depression/lowkey anxiety, self destructive behavior? ✨cannibalism✨

Word Count:

1.4k ~roughly~

A/N:

not that much bell in this chapter and i absolutely hate it but it’s just a filler so .... enjoy if that’s at all possible. if the format is confusing, lmk and i’ll either switch it up for explain :)

“You have to come back. I’ll never forgive you if you don’t.” Your voice had been broken for almost an hour and the only thing you could do was whimper; the tears that stained your face were meaningless, now. You didn’t want to think it, but the idea that they might take too long and get caught in the death wave was suffocating. A pressure started to weigh on you chest, consuming you until your hands were almost quivering. You shook your head, trying to push the thought away.

“Hey,” Bellamy breathed, bringing both hands to the sides of your face and resting his forehead against yours - he knew it wasn’t enough, but his word and touch was all he had left to give. “This isn’t a goodbye, right? I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“This is a stupid fucking plan,” You said, loud enough for the others to hear. Had the situation not been so dire, you would’ve let out a small chuckle at the loud, ‘we know!’ Murphy gave in response.

He let the humor give him some comfort for a moment and a quiet laugh shook his shoulders. “Yeah, it is. But we can’t just leave Raven. You know that.”

You wished he wasn’t right but nodded nonetheless. Squeezing your eyes shut, you knew you were being selfish. Raven would certainly die if they didn’t get her. At least they’re trying to give her a chance to see a possible brighter day.

But why did it always have to be Bellamy?

“What happens if-”

“Stop it. Don’t think like that, we’ll be fine. I’ll be fine.”

You shook your head in agreement, not wanting to spend this precious time thinking about the what ifs. A few moments of silence passed with you two drinking the other in; trying to soak up all you could in the limited time you had to spare. This wasn’t supposed to be a goodbye but it sure as hell felt like one. Your hand cupped his face and the other was rested on his neck. You could feel the amount of effort he was putting into not completely breaking down. It was in his cheekbones, his nose, his perpetually furrowed brow, the curve of his jaw. His neck, his eyelashes, his lips.

He was trying so hard to make you not worry.

Has he met you?

Nothing could shake the bad feeling crawling up your spine. You couldn’t stop the sob that threatened to escape, one final plea for the man you couldn’t lose. “Please come back to me,”

Just like that, he pulled away to meet your eyes, making a declaration you’d begin to hate him for.

“Always.”

You hadn’t seen nor felt the sun for six years. The hole in the ceiling let the first of its rays create a spotlight in the pit. For just one fleeting moment, you closed your eyes and allowed yourself to enjoy it. Cocooned in the familiar warmth, you embraced the feeling, like greeting an old friend. 

Had it not been there, your favorite pair of eyes would’ve been stern and dark; now, they were a gentle whiskey, basking in the heat of the star. If Bellamy was looking at you in any other way, you’d be able to focus on how much they felt like home. How as soon as you laid your red-rimmed orbs on his, it felt like there was finally the smallest possibility of a maybe.

You couldn’t explain what it was or why, but you knew it was something.

When he looked at you like you were a threat, though, the shadowy, unnamed dread you had gotten so used to filled your stomach. The sudden apprehension that adorned his face ripped you from the only fallacy you’d let yourself give any mirth to. Bringing you back to the real world with a punch to the cheek.

The bright and divine amber sun meant nothing if you had no one to share it with. 

Letting the axe fall from your hand, you crashed out of the arena before anyone could act quick enough to stop you - they were too distracted. You fell into your bedroom and immediately became submerged in water; riptides pulling you down and all you could do was let it happen. They say if you fight a riptide it’ll only kill you faster, kind of like quicksand.

The distance between you and reality kept growing and you didn’t even think it was worth trying to bring your head up for air. Trapped within the merciless depths of the ocean, there were weights around your neck, forcing you lower and lower and lower.

But it was all just numb, like you had been reduced to nothing.

This is why the morphine was so important -  not only did it bless you with dreamless sleeps, but it made the decision for you. It made all the faces blend together. Miller wasn’t one of your oldest friends, Marcus wasn’t your father, Octavia was nowhere to be found and Bellamy...

Well, he never really existed at all.

So, you checked your hiding spot for the next best thing. Maybe this time you’d float to the surface. Maybe you’d drown.

You didn’t really care either way.

A disgusted scoff broke through the doorway, an intentional slice of the thickening tension in the room. It didn’t take a genius to know who it was.

“Pathetic.”

“Since when did you care, Bloodreina?” You nearly spat, cutting the raven haired woman with the title like it was the one thing she didn’t want you to call her. You convinced yourself that your words hurt her more than they did you. With moonshine glued to your hand, you took a very large pull from the bottle, inviting the well-known haze to set over your eyes.

“I don’t,” She said, cold and detached as ever. It was a tone you’d never heard her use with you; one reserved for the enemies that didn’t want to comply. You guessed that was all you were to her, now. “But there can only be one champion and only one Kane is useful to me.”

“What-”

“You and your father fight in two days. Win and be reinstated or lose and die. Choose not to fight, and I’ll kill both of you myself.”

She wasn’t bluffing, that you knew. But there was no fucking way you were going let her near him. You didn’t know how to react, though, given what you had almost just done. It didn’t even feel like it was you. As if you were a horse and someone else was controlling the reins - pulling, pushing, grabbing, forcing you to do all these things you never would’ve done before those doors closed.

All you knew was that more than anyone else in this underground hell, Marcus Kane was the one who deserved to get out.

A bitter smirk pulled at the corner of your lips, but your eyes stayed the same; gaunt and defeated. “Sure you want to lose your best executioner?”

You just have to take a bite.

At the silent glare from your queen - the first sign of any kind of emotion you’d seen from her in a while - a sneer slipped onto your face into your voice. “Well, then, at least you’ll actually be the one doing it for a damn change.”

Octavia’s scared voice cut through the room, a shudder breaking through, all but tearing you into pieces. It was low and gravelly, the complete opposite to when she was still the girl under the floor. “We’re back bitches!” felt like centuries ago, now.

“You said we had five years. We’ve only been down here for two.”

Cooper, the woman running the farm, quickly started to defend that she’d already done everything she could think of to try to eradicate the fungus that was taking over your crop supply. She said she saved a few plants, but that it wasn’t enough. Indra inevitably cut her off, being as straightforward as usual. The dark-skinned woman brought up the one thing you hoped no one would acknowledge.

“How long?”

You heaved in a breath at her words, you wished you weren’t there. You wished you were allowed to be as ignorant and innocent as the others. Abby’s detached and unwavering voice saying that there was only one potential solution was deafening. It shredded your ears, a grinding you’d never be able to escape.

This was worse than anything you’ve had to deal with while being on this fucking planet. Worse than watching your father be tortured into taking the chip. Worse than a drill digging into your back while being fully conscious. Worse than watching the Mount Weather genocide - feeling like it was so wrong, despite what they had put you through. You just hoped and prayed that the ends justify the means.

“No.” Tears had already found their way onto your cheeks as you choked the lonely letters out. You were the only one sitting down, but your legs still shook. Your eyes had closed minutes ago and your head stayed between your shoulders. You had never felt so defeated. “Please.”

When the next three little words left Indra’s mouth, you knew nothing would ever be the same again.

And no amount of moonshine or morphine was enough to dull that incessant nightmare.

[thdorkmagnet]

I Love You 3000

Hey everyone!! Today I bring to you all a short Starco fluff fic, loosely based off of Avengers Endgame.This is also made in collaboration with @phantomnationdraws​ who drew the amazing piece of art to go along with this!! Please show them some love because there talent knows no limits!! And please enjoy!!

Marco ran up the driveway of his house, panting from exertion as he jogged steadily on the uneven ground, clutching a large box tightly in his hands, making sure not to ruin the steaming hot pizza inside. He didn’t slow for a second, keeping his focus and attention entirely on the front door to his house, which he kicked open without hesitation, lacking the hands to turn the doorknob, already knowing it was left unlocked. After all, any burglar dumb enough to try and break in would find himself biting off way more than he could chew, since both he and Star were well trained in combat. 

The red-clad teen was breathing heavily as he stepped into the living room of his wonderful home, the lights all turned off and what had to be at least a dozen candles all lit and scattered about the room, creating an absolutely breathtaking and romantic atmosphere. The boy used the back of his foot to close the door behind him, before calling out loudly to his seemingly empty house, “Star, I’m home!” 

Normally, he would keep his voice down this late at night out of fear of waking his family up but both Mariposa and his parents were gone for the night, his sister to stay overnight with her best friend Meteora and his parents away on an overnight camping trip in the Forest of Certain Death with Star’s parents (the four adults becoming very close friends in the few years since the Great Cleaving), leaving the house to just him and Star. Just the way they wanted it. 

The boy took a few steps forward, looking around for his girlfriend somewhere in the darkness of the room, only to be practically toppled over as Star appeared out of nowhere and trapped him in a surprise hug. “Marco!” she shouted in delight, squeezing him as tightly as ever, while the hooded teen screamed, holding the box over his head to avoid dropping it as Star continued to cling to his midsection. “I’m so glad you’re back!” the blonde cheered, her voice as bubbly as ever and the boy couldn’t help but grin.

“Yep, I’m back,” Marco said with an enthusiastic smile down at his loving girlfriend. “Sorry it took me so long, Emilio’s was closed after a herd of Snippergriffs apparently got inside, so I had to improvise.”

Star rolled her eyes, finally releasing her grip on her Marco, putting her hands on her hips. “Ugh, dang, Snippergriffs, they ruin everything!” the blonde muttered angrily, cursing the very nature of the pesky critters of her homeland. 

Marco, seeing his girlfriend’s distraught behavior, quickly changed the subject as he looked around the room, which almost radiated with an otherworldly glow. “I see you were busy while I was gone.” 

Star’s bright enthusiasm returned full-force as she looked around the room with pride, saying with satisfaction, “Yeah, I thought this way it would all be much more romantic.” She arched her eyebrows knowingly on the last word, causing Marco to chuckle. “Do you like it?” the girl asked hopefully, her hands hovering near her mouth in anticipation for her boyfriend’s opinion.

The boy nodded happily. “I love it! It’s perfect, Star,” Marco said, setting the pizza down on a nearby coffee table. “Now then, do you know what today is?” the boy asked, doing little finger guns in the air for emphasis.

“Uhh,” Star began, thinking the question over. “Date night?”

Marco shook his head, “Well, yeah but you know what else it is?”

“Hmmm,” the blonde said, tapping a finger to her chin. “Friendship Thursday?”

The hooded teen frowned in disappointment, asking in a hinting tone, “Anything else?”

Star contemplated this for a few seconds, the boy growing more and more disappointed with each passing second before Star snapped her fingers and said confidently, “The last day for Stop N’ Slurp’s half-off sale.”

Marco shrank at that answer, looking sadly at the ground. He couldn’t believe Star had forgotten how special today was. The blonde seeing the depressed look on her boyfriend’s face, quickly added, “Marco, I’m just teasing of course I know what today is.”

The latino’s sad frown turned into a bright grin as he and Star shouted as one, “The anniversary of the Blood Moon Ball!” The two burst out into laughter at their shared sentence, Star clutching her stomach as she practically doubled-over from her giggle fit, Marco very lightly grabbing onto the girl’s shoulders to keep her upright as he tried to fight through his own laughter. Finally, the two recovered from their laughing fit, wiping tears from their eyes as Marco said, “Can’t believe we still do that.”

“I know, right,” Star said, opening the box of pizza and taking out a slice. She plopped down on the couch, before patting the seat next to her beckoning Marco over. The boy smiled, picking up his own slice, before sitting down beside her, the girl laying sideways on the couch and resting her legs on the boy’s lap as she practically inhaled the pizza slice, munching on it greedily. “It’s funny,” Star said, in between bites of food, not even bothering to swallow as she spoke in a muffled tone. “After the curse was broken, I thought we wouldn’t do that anymore” 

“Guess it had nothing to do with the curse,” Marco replied, before taking a bite of his own slice.

“Guess not,” Star said, before moaning in delight. “Oh man, Marco! This pizza is delicious!”  

Marco nodded his head in agreement, “Yeah, it is! Looks like we just found our new favorite pizza place, right Star?”

Star giggled, before saying in a teasing tone, “Don’t let Emilio hear you say that, considering what happened last time.”

Marco blushed, looking away from his pretty girlfriend. “Come on, Star. That was like three years ago,” he whined in embarrassment.

Star laughed at her Marco’s cuteness before sitting up and planting a kiss on his bright red cheek. “You’re adorable,” she cooed.

“Not as adorable as you,” Marco replied with a playful smirk, his cheeks just slightly painted pink.

“Aww, Marco,” the blonde gushed, putting a hand to her flushing cheeks. “You spoil me.”

“Oh, then just wait and see what I have planned for later,” the hooded teen said with a wink.

Star’s eyes widened in curiosity, before demanding, “Ooh, tell me, tell me, tell me!”

Marco shook his head stubbornly. “Nuh uh, it’s a surprise,” the boy declared. 

“Aww come on, Marco, just tell me,” the girl pouted, crawling into his lap as she gave him sad, puppy-dog eyes. 

“Nope, your famous pout isn’t working on me this time,” the boy said, raising his head up so he wouldn’t meet her hypnotic eyes. He knew from experience how easy it was to fall into that trap.

“Oh, Marco,” Star said in a sing-song voice, grabbing his chin and pulling his head down so their eyes met. “Just tell me, pwease.” She gave him the saddest, most heart wrenching look she had in her arsenal, even going so far as to whine and quiver her lip.

Marco felt his will crack, his pupils shrinking as he stared into the gorgeous eyes of his favorite person in the world. There were few things that could sway Marco’s judgement and make him lose all sense of anything, and he was staring into one of them right now, the crystal blue of her wide eyes making his heart do a dance. 

“Ok, fine,” the boy groaned in defeat, he knew when he had been bested by his bestie. 

The blonde clapped her hands, shouting in joy, “Yay!”

He quickly moved his girlfriend off his lap, before saying, “Be right back, I left it in my room.”

“Okay!” Star called after him, practically hopping on the couch as she watched him leave. In the span of about thirty seconds Marco returned, the blonde having time to engulf another slice of the delicious pizza before staring up at her boyfriend with curious blue eyes, her cheeks still stuffed with pizza.

Marco couldn’t help but grin down at the love of his life, her expression making his heart melt all over again. Could she seriously get any cuter? he thought to himself.

“Okay, so, I was gonna wait a little bit before showing you this,” Marco began, keeping his hands behind his back so as to not spoil his surprise. “But then, someone had to go and cheat.” He gave her a halfhearted glare.

The girl swallowed her food before smirking mischievously. “Come on, you know you love me,” she said flirtingly.

The boy nodded at that before declaring with zero hesitation, “Of course I do. But that still doesn’t make it alright.” He gave her a teasing look, which she returned with one of her own.

“Hey, all’s fair in love and war, Diaz,” Star said with a playful wink.

“Anyways,” the boy continued, getting back on subject before he found himself gushing over his cute girlfriend all over again. “I figured since this is a special occasion, I’d show you this.”

He held out a pair of earbuds to Star who eyed them questioningly. “Uh, Marco, I already know you have earbuds.”

“Put one in,” Marco told her cryptically.

Star hesitantly obeyed, confusion still obvious on her face as she inserted the small circular device into her left ear. But as the soft notes hit her tender eardrum Star’s mouth fell open, listening in disbelief as the smooth melody she knew by heart played, every note practically etched into her heart. A flood of memories came back to her at once, filling her with euphoric nostalgia, as the unmistakable notes of the Blood Moon Waltz played into her ear. 

She looked up at Marco with disbelief, who had been watching her closely for her reaction and he smiled brightly. “You- How did you- Where did-” the girl stuttered, unable to find words as a lump formed in her throat, tears filling at the edges of her eyes as she choked on a small sob.

Marco stared down at her with soft, loving eyes as he asked her simply, “Do you like it?”

Star nodded, wiping at her eyes to free them of happy tears. “I love it!” she squeaked out. “How did you even find this song?”

The boy shrugged. “I have my ways.”

“Tom,” the girl guessed.

“Tom,” the boy confirmed with a slight nod. “He had a version recorded just for us.”

“I missed this song so much,” the girl sighed, melting into the music as she lost herself to the irresistible tune. 

For a few seconds, the two just listened to the graceful melody, before Marco sucked in a breath and held out a hand to his girlfriend. “May I have this dance?”

Star giggled, taking his hand and allowing him to pull her to her feet, before dropping into a graceful curtsey. “You may, kind sir.”

The two shared a laugh as they moved closer to each other, their bodies pressed together as they locked hands. Marco rested a hand on the small of Star’s back, drawing her even closer to his warm presence as he drank in her smell. She always smelled of roses and vanilla and he felt his heart rate increase as she laid her head against this chest. 

The boy then began to lead them in a slow waltz around the dimly lit living room, their movements slow but purposeful, moving perfectly in time and sync with their chosen partner. The sound of the gentle waltz drowning out the world around them until it was just the two of them, captured in this moment in time. 

Star couldn’t think of when she had been happier, surrounded by warm feelings and sounds as she listened with one ear to the graceful ball music and, with the other, was soothed by the rhythmic pumping of her dear Marco’s heartbeat. The girl snuggled into Marco’s chest after a moment, just loving having him here with her. Nothing in all of Earthni able to make her happier. 

Marco clutched Star tightly against him, listening to her gentle breathing as he rested his cheek on the top of her head, her soft hair tickling his skin, and he smiled, feeling complete. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have Star in his life, and there wasn’t a day that went by that he didn’t thank all the forces in the universe for this chance to be loved by someone as wonderful as Star Butterfly.  

The two sighed in contentment as they let the music wash over them, taking them back to a simpler time when it was just the two of them trapped under the glow of a single red light. And just like that, it was as if they were back in that moment, time falling away from them as the music continued on an endless loop, sealing them inside its graceful notes. 

The two smiled in bliss, their cheeks beginning to burn as, without warning, a pair of hearts and crescent moons formed on their cheeks, remnants of the magical connection the two shared, one that defied logic and space itself. Nothing in the universe could separate the two again as they shared this dance. 

“Marco,” the girl whispered, her eyes still closed as she was led slowly around in a circle. 

“Hmm?” the boy muttered, incapable of words at the moment, a swirl of emotions causing his head to spin.

“I missed this,” Star said simply, her hand squeezing his tightly.

The boy paused for a moment, not entirely sure what she meant when she said ‘this’. Until he realized she meant dancing to this song and he almost choked on a sob. “Me too,” he replied softly.

“I’m glad we didn’t lose this moment,” Star continued, and Marco felt his heart swell to almost bursting. “Cause there’s no one I’d rather be here with than you. And I just have to tell you one more thing...” Then Star gently leaned her head in, gazing in wonder at Marco’s loving eyes. She took her chance to whisper something in his ear, something that caused the Latino’s cheeks to turn crimson. Marco smiled dorkily before kissing her forehead softly. “Same here, Star,” he said as their eyes met in another tender glow, pupils shining in the glow of their cheeks and candlelight, reflecting all the thoughts and feelings and emotions that had brought them to this moment. Time had lost on meaning on the two young souls as they continued their dance for what felt to them like eternity.

“Same here.”

[atiny-exol]

He doesn't care pt. 4

Pt1+Pt2.+Pt2 (alternative ending) +Pt.3

Pair: Demon! San x now Angel Reader

Warnings: yandere behavior, strong language, it mentions y/n suicide

Don't like it? Then please don't read it.

___________________

It was past midnight, not that you would care at all, time doesn't run out in heaven anyways.

3 months, 3 months are past since the last time you saw your ex-lover and predator. 3 months since you decided to end your life for a better one in heaven.

Heaven. Heaven feels like a place you could, and will, stay forever in. Everything is bright, you feel warm and loved from any other angel in this world.

It is different, way more different than the hell you lived in. But of course you would never dare to lay one step in this dangerous and dark place every again. Not after you met him.

Him. Eyes lovely and caring looking at you every time you pass near him. His warm hugs always comforting you when you thought about the horrible nights of rape and degradation again. He is perfect.

No he is more than perfect.

His name? Hongjoong. He is quiet small, soft blond locks and the prettiest brown eyes you ever saw. Nothing and you mean nothing would tear you two apart anymore.

Since the first day you arrived here, he was by your side, looking out for you and guiding you through the new world. Your new living.

After more and more time passed with you, you didn't even thought about San once more.

A deep sight left your mouth and you lightly opened your closed eyes again,looking at the bright white clouds laying around you.

,,I wish I could see how he feels right now." You mumbled, but instantly shook your head at your stupid thought.

Why would you care about him?

___________________

3 months. 3 damn months his little angel is gone.

Gone, with nothing left behind, just a few blood stains on his floor and an empty body without a soul.

The last weeks were horrible for the demon. No one could change or brighten up his mood anymore. Even his best friend and right hand couldn't help him to get out of the deep hole of depression and darkness.

Never, he felt like that for someone. Never he felt this rough and hard pain in his chest after one of his victims disappeared.

He knows that he did something wrong. He knows that he fucked up too hard this time and that nothing would make him happy anymore.

,,San?", a loud deep voice echoed through the room and the said man looked up from the spot he fixed the whole time.

,,What do you want Seonghwa. Is it important? When not, leave me alone." the demon said coldy and looked away again, not wanting to face his friend int he current state he is in.

,,I think our visitor has a big surprise for you."

___________________

,,What do you mean he is gone Mina? He would have told me when he has a mission down on earth!"

,,Listen Y/N. I know that it shocks you and that you miss him. That you are tired and sad that he didn't even say goodbye, but sometimes it goes like that.", Mina, another brightly smiling and friendly angel, with the ability to read the emotions of people, tried to cheer you up.

The only thing you can do is to nod at her statement and turn around to leave the room and go to your favorite spot again.

Waiting for Hongjoong to come back.

As soon as you arrived the place, you sit down on the white clouds, who felt like the softes pillow you can imagine.

You knew this spot, because of Hongjoong. Of course you knew it from him. He showed you everything, he made your life better again.

He once said that, if he has to leave you alone, if he isn't there and you feel lonely or scared you should visit this place. It will help you to calm down. And yes, he was right about that.

Gently you layed down and your head on another fluffy white cloud, before you slowly closed your eyes.

Not realizing that a dark shadow hovers over your sweet shiny halo.

__________________

,,You are sure that we can trust him?", San asked but in reality, not even a no from Seonghwa could change his mind anymore.

,,I'm sure San. Don't worry I know him for.. Quite a long time." Seonghwa said with a devilish smile and layed his hand on sans shoulder. ,,And don't forget that..-"

He slowly bents down to the younger male, while he continued. ,,He is under my control. I can do everything I want. Just with a snap of my fingers."

,,You are worse than the devil himself. Seonghwa."

,,No don't say that." he older said with a small chuckle and went to the guest who arrived earlier, slowly laying both of his hands on his shoulder, leaning down to his ear and chuckling darkly again.

,,I'm just mischievously. Or not Hongjoong?"

__________________________

After a while of dosing around and softly sleeping, you opened your eyes again, this time clearly seeing the dark shadow staying over you.

Your eyes widen, and you immediately stand up with your heart beating harshly in your chest.

A dark shadow, means that a demon is near this area and the fear that it might be San made you feel uneasy.

The white wings on your back stiften as you heard a small chuckle, but then you turned around you just saw a tall, handsome man. Eyes shining red and teeth as sharp as a knife.

The look was horrifying for you and you rapidly backed away from the creature.

,,Hey hey little angel don't worry, don't worry. I won't hurt you just just have to come with me~" he said darkly, his raspy voice luring your into a trap.

,,G.. Go go away! It's forbidden for you to enter heaven!"

,,You know how much I care about rules?"

Just in the moment he wants to attack you, a smaller male pushed him away and stands infront of you.

Hongjoong.

,,My angel said stay away. If you won't respect the bondaries and rules you will die here. Don't forget that demon this is not your place." he shouted over to the hell creature and as soon as Hongjoong eyes went in a deep blue color the demon disappeared.

Tears over tears streamed down your face, but you instantly claimed down as you felt how the angel wrapped his arms and wings tightly around you. Your felt yourself more and more tired with each second, but you trusted him.

,,Thank you Hongjoong." you mumbled. ,,I love you"

You trusted him with your heart as you let yourself fall asleep in his arms. In the arms of the person you loved the most.

Not knowing that his once so white wings turned black as he disappeared with you to a place, you never want to see again.

_________________

,,Angel. Come on Angel wake up."

You heard a deep soothing voice near your ear and just as you opened you eyes, you identified the voice.

A scream out of horror is heard through the room as he you saw the demon stand infront of the bed you laying in, his hands slipped in his pockets and a smirk laying on his face.

,,Why are you screaming like that angel hm?" he said and walked closer to you. This move let you crawl away from him and shake in fear. Just thinking about him amde you sick and now you are trapped by him again?

,,G.. Go away! I- t.. This this is just a nightmare. Just a nightmare don't worry Y/N." you said quietly just for yourself, but San heard it anyway.

,,A nightmare? Oh come on my sweet little angel do you really want to hurt me like that?"

,,S...stay away! Hongjoong please! " you desperately screamed for him, for the one who would always save you. The one who loved you just as much as you love him.

,,Hongjoong? Oh Angel." the loud laughing of the demon sent chills down your back and you couldn't understand what is funny about that, not before the door opened and Hongjoong entered the room.

His white wings no longer having the bright white color, but a dark black. His eyes doesn't shine anymore, they are dull and black, no longer showing his friendly aura.

,,Here he is angel. Your sweet little lover!"

,,W.. What did.. What did you do to him?" another loud laughing echoed through the room, before you heard the former angel giggling at your question.

To your surprise it wasn't San who answered your question.

,,What he did to me? Nothing Y/N. I was always like that. I hated heaven you know? I hated the rules, the friendly angels I hated all of that and then I met someone who promised to pull me out of this world." he sighed deeply and looked in your eyes, now smiling as he realized how broken and teary your eyes look like.

,,The plan was to lull you into trusting me and then bring you back to where you really belong. To his side. Y/N. I just did you a favor."

,,A.. A favor! Are you kidding me? All the words.. The whole time, the affection all of this was.. A.. A.. Lie-" your voice breaks on the end, tears escaping your eyes and run down your cheeks, blocking your view so you couldn't see the cruel smile on the lips of both males.

,,I thought you love me!". ,,Oh really? I never did."

If your heart didn't break a few seconds ago, you would swear that you heard how it breaks right now. Sobs after sobs came out of you and you didn't even know what to say anymore.

He lied to you, he used you. He lurred you into a trap, a life you wanted to run away from, a man you wanted to run away from.

,,See angel I told you the world is dangerous. Everyone is lying to you."

You felt how the mattress slowly dipped down as San sits down next you. Immediately you tried to back away but the demon already had his arms tightly around your shaking figure.

,,Everyone is lying even an angel. You can't trust anyone. Not even yourself angel." he leaned down to your ear and whispered.

,,But don't worry. When you disappeared I realized how much I need you and I would never betray you angel. I would never."

His voice was so soothing and deep, you struggled but couldn't escape, as he whispered more and more sweet nothings in your ear, using his powers to manipulate you.

,,I care about you. I love you."

Your heart is broken, your felt betrayed and angry. If it wouldn't be for San you would throw a tantrum right now and destroy things, but you felt how all your powers slipped out of you with every new word he says to you.

__________________

2 weeks are passed since San can hold his queen back in his arms.

And 2 weeks passed since the love of your life betrayed you and handed you out to a man you hate the most.

Since this day you never were the same anymore, your eyes are dull, your halo didn't shine that bright anymore and your wings slowly turned grey.

Sans love for you is twisted, sick and you couldn't escape it anymore. No, you can never escape him.

San would always win over you. He is a demon after all.

A demon with the ability to control your mind and to make you a living doll, he can praise and treat like a queen the whole time.

That's what you are, a liveless doll.

,,Angel. Even if I love your wings they don't suit you."

With a emotionless expression you looked up from the spot you fixed before and tilted your head to the side, your voice nothing more than a whisper as you answered him.

,,What do you mean? "

,,Like I said they don't suit you and your new lifestyle. We should cut them off."San said with a devilish smile.

,,I think that would be a good punishment for running away hm? You didn't think you don't get one right? "

You softly shake your head, not even caring about the thing he said.

You just behaved like he wants you to behave.

You just live to make him happy.

And the only way he is happy, is with you as his lovely, submissive queen on his side.

,,No master. Of course I deserve a punishment."

[nctwd127]

Arranged Marriage.

Chapter Nineteen.

 Warnings: Mentions of depression and suicide, sexual assault (AO3 link). With the scene taken out, it’s still a heavy chapter in general so please do read with caution. 

This chapter was really hard for me to write because I had to get into a different kind of headspace than I'm used too. And even after finishing it, I was still there for a week.

Please always remember to take care of your mental health first and take a break when needed.

Word Count: 3068

In the midst of me cleaning the kitchen from the mess of making lunch, the doorbell rang. I walked down the hallway and looked through the peephole, it was Jaehyun.

With caution, I opened it just enough so I could see him through the crack, “Jung, what are you doing here?” I asked feeling nervous of having him near my home when Yuta wasn’t here.

“I came by to see Yuta.” He answered with an almost sad look on his face. Completely different from the fuckboy look he always has on. His aurora didn’t even feel like it always does, heavy and sickening.  

“He’s not home though.”

He rocked back and forth on the ball of his feet with his hands in his pocket, “I know, he told me to wait for him, it’s kind of important.” He answered with a small smile.

Jaehyun’s voice was also different from his usual flirty sickening tone, the one that made me want to punch him in the neck. His eyes were soft and he looked like he couldn’t even hurt a fly right now.

“Oh um, okay. You can wait for him in the living room then.” I opened the door believing him and moved aside so he could come in. He walked into the living room and took a seat on the couch. “You can watch tv if you’d like.” I offered.

He turned to look at me and gave me a small smile nodding his head okay. He reached over for the control and turned it on. Feeling no way about him being here in the house, in my comfort zone, I went back to the kitchen.

I finished cleaning and then went up to the second floor, when I passed by the living room, Jaehyun was still watching whatever was playing on the screen. Instead of going to my room, I went into the guest room. Deciding that maybe we could make it into something more than what it was.

No more than ten minutes later of cleaning around the room, my world fell apart. I should have closed the door, I should have locked it. I should have done something, anything.

“So Yuta and you, huh?”

The world around me stopped when I heard that tone of voice. That damned flirty sickening voice that made want to throw myself off a bridge now. I turned to face Jaehyun who was standing in the door way.

Blocking my only exit.  

Everything that I hated about him before I let him into my home was back. The smug look on his face, his cursed smirk. And worst of all, the lust and want in his eyes whenever he looked at me. Whoever I let in earlier was no longer here, he was a completely different person.

“What…what are you talking…about?” I stuttered, feeling my breathing pick up and the anxiety start to kick in with my sweaty palms. The room felt like it was getting smaller and the walls were closing in on me.

Jaehyun stepped away from the doorframe and walked closer to where I was near the bed. He saw the way I wanted to move away from him but I was frozen in place. He was feeding off the fear that was in my eyes, he waited for this moment.

“You should have made sure we left that night princess.” He circled around me, his finger brushing away the hair that was on my shoulder. With my body frozen in fear, I could only try to shudder when his finger traced my collar bone.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I breathed out and forced every ounce in my body to move away from him and walk towards the door. But he reached it before I did and closed it, standing in front of it.

I watched him lock it and walked towards me again with a smirk on his lips and his eyes overflowing with lust. My body couldn’t move, it wouldn’t. The weight of the world was holding me down to the damn floor.

Jaehyun stood behind me and placed his hands on my waist, setting my whole body on fire. “Don’t worry though, I won’t say anything.” One hand left my waist and moved to the button of my jeans. His cold fingers grazed the skin of my stomach.

“Just give me what I want and I never heard a thing.”

AO3 

Those words hit a nerve that made my body react partly again. My eyes burned and the tears finally spilled down the sides. But I couldn’t use my voice still, my throat felt so dry it hurt. I wanted to clutch the bed sheets under me but my fingers wouldn’t close.

Jaehyun gathered his clothes and got dressed. When he was done, he walked to the door and left. But before he did, he assured me that he would say nothing about the past and thanked me for the great time.

It was up until I heard the front door open and close that I found my voice again. I painfully sat up, naked and cold and yelled to the top of my lungs. I yelled into the empty room and cried into the mattress how much I hated him, this house, this life, Yuta and myself.

My legs hurt and I couldn’t move the rest of my body without it screaming at me in pain. All my clothes were scattered on the floor. The sight of my torn underwear made me to crawl out of my abused skin.

This situation made me feel something I haven’t since the days of the accident.

The want to end my suffering.

With no energy and a body full of pain, I cried myself to sleep in the same bed that took away my sanity. Everything played itself over again in my head. My mind was banging against my skull wanting to be set free, to forget this ever happened.

Hours later, I heard the front door be opened. And then the commotion of boys being over. He came back, I just know he did. He came back to torture me, to taunt me. Knowing that I’ll never say anything about this because of the damned past.

The same past ruined my life then. And the one that ruined my life now. But now it was worse, I didn’t feel safe in my own home, in my skin. In my own fucking skin I felt in danger. I wanted to rip my skin off and set it on fire, I wanted to burn away his touch.

In agony, I got off the bed, my body sore and aching with every move I made. I wrapped the blanket around my naked abused body and walked to the door. When my hand reached for the knob, I heard steps coming up the stairs.

“(Y/N), are you home?” Yuta asked, assuming standing outside my bedroom door. He knocked on the door when he heard no answer. He’s never had a reason to come near this room but still out of fear, I locked the door quietly.

His footsteps suddenly got a little closer to the door I was standing behind. But then they stopped and faded away. I waited another five minutes till I unlocked the door. Opening it quietly and carefully, I peeked through the crack to see if anyone was in the hallway.  

Once I saw that I was empty, as quickly as I could, I made my way to my room. The door was closed as I had left it so I tried my best to stay quiet because I didn’t want someone to come up here and see me like this.

Inside my room, I closed and locked the door. I hated with my whole being that much like eight years ago, behind this door, trapped in these four walls was the only place I felt safe now. Everything felt like a nightmare again. Like a terrible fucking dream.

Standing naked in front of the mirror felt like I was someone else. I didn’t recognize myself, not my body or face. My neck was covered in blues and red, bite marks on my upper chest. Fingertip bruises on my hands. There were small marks inside my thighs that I don’t even know how they happened.

When I cleaned myself down there, there were stains of blood on the toilet paper. The area was red and sensitive, it hurt to touch. At this point, it hurt to even breathe. My lungs felt squeezed together.

My shower was scorching hot, the fog intense I could barely see my hand in front of my face. The tears mixed with the water and soap when I washed my body. Trying hard to rub the bruises and marks off me.

Not only was my body covered in marks that would take a while to fade but so was my soul. My soul was forever tainted and scarred.

I spent an hour in the shower trying to clean myself but to no avail. My skin burned from the water, my eyes hurt from crying. I scrubbed myself raw it hurt when my clothes touched my skin. I felt like there was nothing in my soul.

My phone rang all night long as I laid in bed starring at the ceiling with tears still running down my face. I have no idea if I was even making sounds, I just knew that I was crying. I wanted to die right now. I wanted to end all of my suffering here. I wanted nothing to do with life.

Three knocks came from the other side of the door at four in the morning. I didn’t speak, I didn’t move. I did nothing but lay there and wait for it to go away. But it didn’t, it just kept going and going.

“(Y/N)? Are you there? Your phone has been going off all night. Are you okay?” Yuta worried with his fist meeting the door and then the jingle of the door knob.

Looking at the door I wept loud enough to hear myself, realizing that I was living the same life I lived eight years ago. I was broken, hurt and in an agony I couldn’t put into words. And worst of all, I still couldn’t go to Yuta for comfort.

Because he couldn’t fucking remember. He didn’t then and he doesn’t now. Everything was the same it was before. I was living in the past.

No one was to blame but our parents for what I was going through right now. And so was Yuta. I hated all of them. Each and every one of them put their wants and desires first before anything else. And I was the one paying for the broken dishes.

The sun started to pour into my room and that’s when I realized it was morning time already. I don’t know when my phone stopped ringing, it was probably dead and it was going to stay like that. There was nothing and no one I wanted to deal with from the real world.

The only place that existed for me was the space in these four walls, nothing else. I was never going to leave my room again, I was never stepping foot outside of my comfort zone again. The damn door to the outside was never going to open again.

My eyes burned and hurt, I could feel the swelling begin from crying all night. And somehow I didn’t even feel my body anymore from lying still since the moment I got into bed. Sleep was unknown to me scared of what the dreams could be.

Masterlist

[jamiebluewind]

On Aelwen...

I've been thinking about her. She's been imprisoned a year and sleep deprived. Is she malnourished too? Have her muscles atrophied from crawling around inside an orb? What status conditions have they put on her? We can assume Exhaustion of 4 or 5. That means disadvantage on ability checks, attack rolls, and saving throws as well as halved hit point maximum and speed with speed reduced to 0 at level 5! We can assume she's not Blinded (can't see, auto fail ability checks that require sight, disadvantage on attacks, and gives advantage to enemies attacks) AND Deafened (can't hear and auto fail ability checks that require hearing) because there was the possibility for her to notice Adaine, but she could be one or the other. She probably gets Frightened (or has to roll for it) when she is around her torturers. She's stuck in Prone which only allows her to crawl, gives disadvantage on attacks, and give advantage to enemies that attack her within 5 feet (disadvantage if further away). She could be Incapacitated (unable to take actions or reactions) or even Stunned (incapacitated plus speed 0, takes away almost all their ablility to speak, makes str and dex saving throws auto fail, and gives advantage to enemy attacks). She could be Charmed which means she couldn't harm the charmer and the charmer would have advantage on social based ability checks. She could be magically Restrained somehow which would make her speed 0 (so she wouldn't even have to have Exhaustion 5 to be unable to move outside a 5 foot square), disadvantage on attack rolls, disadvantage on dex saving throws, and gives advantage to enemy attack rolls.

What does all this mean? She is a teenager who...

Has been imprisoned for a year, some (if not most) of which was spent trapped in a small space within an orb (ironic punishment considering, but still wrong on so many levels)

Is SEVERELY trance deprived and exhausted

Has half her max hit points AT MOST (they could be keeping her one hit from incapacitation/death saves or even killing and reviving her as a form of torture/punishment)

Can only move half speed at BEST and unable to move outside a 5 foot square at worst

Stuck in prone and only able to crawl

Intermittently frightened (while unable to get away)

Has disadvantage on all ability checks, attack rolls, and saving throws with the possibility of auto-failing dexterity and strength save

Whose enemies get advantage on their attacks on her.

Might be blinded or deafened

Might be muted or unable to speak above a broken whisper

Might be unable to use actions or reactions

Might be unable to harm her captors

Might give advantage to her enemies on social based ability checks on her

Regardless of how you feel about Aelwen, you can't look at that and say ANY of that is okay! Let me make this clear; I'm not excusing what Aelwen did. She deserved just punishment for her crime, therapy, and rehabilitation, but this... do you know what solitary confinement does to your brain? It can cause hallucinations, depression, anxiety, anger, cognitive disturbances, perceptual distortions, obsessive thoughts, paranoia, psychosis, substantial increased instances of self harm and suicidal ideations, inability to tell how much time has passed, the development of previously nonexistent mental illnesses, and exacerbation of symptoms in those who already have a mental illness going in!!! And this doesn't just go away once released. Oh no. There are long term effects with their severity amplified by how long and how often the solitary confinement occurred. Discomfort around people, atrophy of social skills, panic attacks, anxiety, depression, a lingering sense of hopelessness, decrease in the size of the hippocampus, increase in the size of the amygdala,... all long term effects of solitary confinement. The possibility of all these horrifying negative short and long term effects increases if the person has a brain that is still developing. Regardless of what she did, THIS *gestures to the above* is objectively wrong. She went through a YEAR of sleep deprivation, isolation, and torture. She might survive it and get back to being herself (if she has support and gets help), but even if she acts "normal" and seems like herself, she's not. People can survive and somehow hold on to who they were. Others don't. And nobody comes out of it unaffected.

PS: There is the possibility that she blames Adaine for what happened to her. I know that sounds messed up, but it might be what kept her going. I hope that she blames her father and wants to make amends with her sister. I hope that she's still mostly herself. I hope that they didn't tamper with her memory or use brainwashing to try and mold her into what they thought she should be. I want her to be safe and loved like any kid deserves.

[bangbangchanie]

It's Okay If You're Not~ Taeyong

Summary: He’s perfect in every way he could be, so showing him the broken pieces of yourself is just that much harder.

Pairing: Lee Taeyong × reader

Warning: mentions of depression and anxiety, angst and triggering things

Word count: 1.8k

I’m happy to be posting again, like omg HEROWWW~Admin Winnie🐻

His hand trails against the cold skin of your forearms. As his fingertips trace shapes into the skin, you look over to him as a chill runs down your spine. The large movie theater screen illuminating flashing lights against his honey-kissed skin. His lips were jutted out as his eyes focusing on the screen. The smell of stale popcorn and cheap perfume should make you choke, but his soft smell of a sweet musk made it tolerable.

Your eyes look at his fluffy, tousled, ash blonde hair, the scar below his eye was in view and it made your finger twitch, wanting your hand to reach up so it can trace against the shape. But you hold back, the anxiety of him flinching away, and becoming possibly cold going through your veins. Your head snaps away from looking at the sculpted jaw of his when your eyes caught his. The heat of embarrassment painting your neck all the way up to your ears.

As the ending credits began to scroll up the screen, the once dark room began to brighten up. People around you standing as his hand once again moved down your arm, his fingers laced with yours as he stood. A small whine passing his lips as he stretched his back. Your body following as he gives you a toothy smile.

"How did you like it?" His voice was raspy as he moved closer to you as you break from your mind. A smile spreading, forcing its way to your skin.

"I liked it, though the flashing gave me a bit of a headache."You mumble grabbing your wallet and dragging him behind you from the row of seats. "What about you?"

"It was interesting, to say the least, but yeah the flashing action scenes did hurt my eyes a bit." He mumbles as you finally left the room, his arms wrapping around your shoulder, bringing your body to his side as he pressed a kiss to your temple. "Dinner?"

"Pizza?" You asked your eyes staring up at him, hopefulness glimmering in them making him chuckle as he nuzzled against your nose.

"Deal, baby." He says as you finally left the theater, the night air wrapping around your bodies made you smile. "Fuck it's cold." He grumbles under his breath, the sound of his car keys jiggling as he pulls them from his jean pocket.

"It’s actually quite nice, Tae." You fought back playfully. A smile gracing his face as he sticks his tongue out at you. The two of you climb into his car and drive off, happiness spreading through your veins as he rambled along to a song on the radio.

The next day you wake up with your body feeling heavy and your mind blank. A frown dropping against your face as you sat up, your hair falling in your face and you let out a groan as you leave the warmth of your sheets. The warmth that you wanted to be trapped in, that you knew you would be trapped in for the next day or two.

Once you went to the bathroom, your body fell back into your now cold sheets. Your eyes begin filling with tears for no reason as you curled into yourself.

The sound of your phone buzzing made you paranoid. Slamming a pillow on your head you let out an unprovoked sob as you try to wrap yourself back together. Trying to stop the thudding sound of your heart, your blood pumping through your body echoing in your ears. Your eyes tightly shut as you try to calm down, your breath caught when the sound of his ringtone made it all intensify.

Worried he wouldn't love the girl who shouldn't be alone some days. The girl who couldn't leave her bed and sometimes cried when she looked at her reflection too long. So you keep this side of yourself hidden as much as you could. You're scared that he would just get up and leave when you began to choke on your words and the air that entered your lungs.

So you ignored him on a day like this, but as your relationship grew, it became harder to do so. The growing need of holding one another to sleep was almost deafening in a way, the need to make sure the other was okay and that they slept well is a must. Checking in on one another becoming an instinct that neither of you could refuse. Yet on days like this, you didn’t. You pushed him away not wanting to scare the man you were falling in love with...that you loved away. Those days always ended up with a small argument or a possible fight where you'd try to see if he'd leave, but his eyes held sadness laced with confusion but most importantly love.

A knock, a pounding knock, woke your mind up from the dark depths of your thoughts. The sound of the door opening made you panic, but you couldn't move; you couldn't do a human basic instinct to run and hide. You couldn't move, you almost couldn't breathe as you tried to make yourself smaller. The sound of shoes hitting the tiled floor as the door shut made you flinch away from the sound of your bedroom door opening.

"Baby?" His voice made you panic as tears began to fall once again, a soft whine passing your lips making the warm hand touching your shoulder make you flinch away. "Baby, what’s wrong? What hurts?" His voice was full of worry and panic as he slowly moved the sheets from your body. Your eyes stayed shut as his hand moved across your shoulder to your face. "Babe...Y/n, please." His voice broke when you turned your face to him.

"G-go." You grumbled, your eyes opening and the slight sting of your bedroom light made you wince as he shields you from the bright light. "Ju-just go." You gasp out making his head shake as he crawls into your bed his body lapping over yours, his hands gripping the shirt that covered your skin. His nose nuzzling against your cheeks as he let out a breath, your body relaxing against his chest.

"No...I'm not gonna go anywhere. Not right now." He whispered against your skin as you felt more tears fall as you are moved around him. A broken sob passing your lips as gasps of broken intakes of air, your finger twining into the coat he was still wearing as you shook your head. "Tell me, tell me how to help you." He whispered pulling you closer, pulling you tighter against his chest.

"Just...just don't leave me." You whimper as you sniffle. His head nodded against yours as you moved his legs, the sound of something hitting the floor made you tighten your grip on him.

"Let me shut off the li-" He was cut off with a panicked gasp as he tried to move from you, your arms clinging to him making him freeze. "Okay, here we go." He mumbles as he sat up, his hands moving your body into his lap. You caught a glimpse of his face, his eyes were glossy, and his cheeks were pink. His hair was a mess and his lips seemed to have been gnawed on. You let out a soft squeak of a sound as he lifted you up, your legs wrapped around his waist as he moved about your room, shutting the light off and moving his shoes with a soft kick. After what felt like seconds, you two were back in your bed, his body moving you to his side as he slid off his coat from his arms, your hands moving to wrap around his thin waist as he quickly wrapped himself around you. "I love you baby" were the last words you heard before your body decided to shut off.

When you woke up, you felt fingers twining in your hair making you groan as your eyes opened, your head resting on a chest. The sound of soft humming made you peek up, there Taeyong sat his eyes closed as he softly sang a random tune, his fingers seeming to absentmindedly run through your hair. His eyes snapped open when he felt your head move, his eyes staying on you as you gave a soft, broken smile. He quickly sat up, his hands wrapping around your waist, his hands skim the skin peeking under your nightshirt as he moved you to straddle his thighs.

"Y/n...are you okay?" He whispered as you gave him a soft shrug, your hands moving to play with his hair but they retract with caution. This time he caught you, unlike the other time. His hand wrapped around yours and brought it to his hair. A soft sigh passing his lips as his forehead falls to your chest. "It...its okay if you're not, you know?" He mumbled, making you let out a huff of air, relief flowing through you as you hugged his head to your chest. 

"I...I'm not always that happy girl you know...I break down from time to time. I get out of my head...I can't get out bed sometimes...and sometimes when I see myself...look at myself in the mirror I just break...I don't know why but I do." You spoke out, another breath of relief passes your lips, the words made his handgrip your hips tighter. His head moving to nuzzle against your chest, as your hands began to move through his hair. "I get...I wouldn't blame you if you wouldn't want to stay...but I want you too." Your words made him yank from your hold as his hand moved to hold your cheeks in the palm of his hands, his thumbs rubbing under your eyes onto the apple of your cheeks.

"Of course I want to stay," he whispered a look of hurt crossing his face as if the mere thought of you thinking he would leave you broke a piece of him. "I love you."

"Are you sure you can love this version of me that literally, no one has seen? Are sure you can handle me becoming clingy at a drop of a pin cause I just want to cry, my angry outburst, or the ment-" the feeling of his lips pressing against your own made you shutter as one of his hand moved to the back of your neck. The other moving from cupping your cheek down to your waist, his thumb moving your shirt to trace the soft skin of your hip.

"I can love every single version of you, every outburst, every mental breakdown, every single insecurity. Cause I love you."

[crazyrandomfucker]

Marichat May Day 17: Balcony

Summary:

After Kagami broke up with him, Adrien decides to patrol for a bit to clear his mind. Coincidentally, Marinette is out on her balcony to wash away the bad taste on her tongu after breaking up with Luka.

-----------------

When Adrien hung the phone, he felt his entire world crumbling. -kagami had just broke up with him, allegging that eventhought Adrien did genually care for her, he didn't truly love her. He felt devastaded as he had invested on their relationship as he never had done before. What was he lacking? Was he not expressive enough? Should he had put even more effort into it? Noticing how distressed was his holder, Plagg simply floated towards him and purred while he gently carressed Adrien's face. Without uttering a word, Plagg sat at the top of the miraculous and Adrien understood the message: He needed to take some air and excercise to think about it and get over it. He transformed and leaped out of the window, darting towards the unknown in the dark of the night.

Meanwhile, Marinette was in her balcony, lazily restin her head on her balcony's handrail. It had been two hour ago, but after she had broken up with Luka she couldn't get rid of the bad aftertaste that linguered her mouth. The relationship between them wasn't going bad at all, but Marinette knew deep inside that it wouldn't work at the long run, she knew that even if they made a good couple, they simply weren't meant to be, just like her previous crush with Adrien. Marin came and left a blanket on her shoulders to warm her up, then he left with Tekke and Tikki to leave some space for her. She sighed as she contemplated the night sky. Had she been wrong? Luka had seemed to understand it and accepted it as if he already had expected it from some time ago. And yet, there she was, wondering if this was just another mistake too add to the list.

As Chat Noir pole-vaulted himself between roofs, the corner of his eye caught the sight of a girl pondering her decisions by herself. The familiarity gave him a vague sense of deja vú as he went closer to that balcony. He landed on the rooftop right next to the balcony, making sure that she saw him to not scare her. She notices him and his somewhat down expression, so she waves him to come closer. Chat Noir carefully jumps and lands swiftly on the hand rail, walking on it and sitting next to Marinette.

"Hey Princess" says Chat Noir. "Mind if this mangy cat keeps you company?"

"Of course not, silly" says Marinette. "I think I need some and, judging by your face, so do you".

"That I can't deny" says Chat Noir staring at the void.

"This reminds me of the first time we met on my balcony" says Marinette. "Even if we had already met previously".

"You're right as always Marinette" says Chat noir letting a chuckle escape. "We should really stop meeting like this at your balcony".

"Yeah, we should" says Marinette smiling. Then she sighs and the smile fades away.

"Tell me" says Chat Noir.

"Huh?" asks Marinette confused.

"What's on your mind. Tell me what is making you overthink like this" explains Chat Noir.

"It's nothing. I broke up with my boyfriend, Luka" says Marinette. "But now I'm thinking that maybe it was a mistake".

"Were you happy with him?" asks Chat Noir.

"I usually was, bbut there were these times when everything felt off" explains Marinette. "As if we were two pieces of a puzzle, but we belonged to different puzzles".

"Then maybe you made a mistake" says Chat. "Or maybe you didn't. No one can predict the future just like no one can fully comprehend our emotions. I think that it has to be you who decides wether it was a correct decision or not".

"And that's why I'm still here. Because I don't know" says Marinette looking at the streets below.

"You don't have to. Not right now at least" says Chat Noir. "It's still too present for you to analyze it properly" says Chat Noir.

"Thanks Chat" says Marinette. "Now, tell me".

"What is the secret for my perfect mane?" asks Chat forcing a smile.

"No silly" says Marinette smiing. "What brings you here?"

"I- My girlfriend broke up with me just a few minutes ago" says Chat Noir. "My love wasn't enough for her apparently, I was lacking".

"Chat, I couldn't ever imagine you being lacking if it's about love" says Marinette. "Overbearing? Maybe. Exagerated? For sure. But not lacking".

"Then what did I do wrong?" says Cat, with a tear in the corner of his eye. "What was my mistake? I thought that I was involved in our relationship, I always tried to make her happy and pay attention to her".

Marinette feels a pang on his chest, recalling her recent break up with Luka. "I don't know Chat" says MArinette with tears on her eyes. "I can't know. Maybe she was confused. Maybe she was scared".

"Maybe she wanted someone differet" says Chat. "It wouldn't be the first time a girl I love loves someone else. Why would someone ever chose me?".

Marinette slaps Chat Noir. "Stop self-depreciating yourself! You're a wonderful guy! Lot's of girls would want to date you. Maybe Ladybug was in love with someone else, but she values you dearly. Maybe your girlfriend left you because she loved someone else, but it's her loss because you're amazing Chat!"

"Princess..." says Chat Noir. "Please. Don't give me false hopes. I know I'm important to Ladybug and Lordbug, we're more than simply partners. But no one has ever looked at me, the real me, and fallen for me. My relationship with my girlfriend principally begun because of pure business matters and even if she says that she fell for me, I can't believe it now!"

"Chat. Noir" says Marinette in a dead serious voice. "I told you long time ago that you shouldn't deny your sister feelings, but that also applied to the rest of people you know. How can you deny that she loved you? You can't know that!"

"I don't know that! I know nothing! 've been living inside a manor for thirteen years, trapped between four walls with the only company o my sister, our bodyguards and my father's assistant!" exclaims Chat losing it. "I know nothing of interacting with others like a normal person! And I don't even know how I feel! What are even feelings?!"

Marinette grabs his face and looks him straight in the eyes. "Chat Noir..." she hugs him tightly, not saying a word as she cries over his shoulder.

"Princess? Mari, what's wrong?" says Chat Noir, worryong that he had just made a mistake with Marinette once more. "Please, tell me what's wrong. I'm seriously worried".

"You! You are wrong you stupid cat!" says Marinett crying. "I'm sorry for saying all of those things, but it's not an excuse how you were brought up! I just want to kick your father and make you learn about emotions and feelings!"

"No offense, but you aren't exactly a great example of emotions Marinette" says Marin from behind them.

"Marin?!" exclaim with teary eyes Marinette and chat Noir.

"How much have you been there?" asks Chat.

"Around when you talked about your girlfriend breaking up with you" says Marin putting down a cup of hot tea. "I was surprised to see you both like that, honestly".

"Why are you even here?" asks Marinette.

"Oh, nothing. I was just bringing you some tea to help you relax a bit like a worried brother would do" says Marin non-chalantly. "Now I think that I'm a cup short. Anyways, I leave you here and go make two more cups of tea, I think I'm begginning to need one as well".

"Wait" says Chat Noir, but Marin is already gone. "Why did he said all that?".

"He probably was refering to my old crush, which turned into an obsession and when I finally gave up on him I was depressed for a month before I began dating Luka" says Marinette.

"You loved someone else?" asks Chat Noir confused.

"I did. It was a silly crush I had on a guy after he proved me wrong and showed me how kind he is" says Marinette looking down. Tears begin to crawl out of her eyes. "But it was just a stupid crush. There was no way he would have ever noticed a plain normal girl like me. He got a girlfriend and I knew that we simply weren't meant to be. I already forgot him".

"Then why are you crying like this?" says Chat Noir clearing her tears with his finger.

"That's your fault and Marin's for messing with my emotions" says Marinette crouching. "Now all the memories and my feelings for him are coming back again and it's making more painful my break up!"

"I- I'm sorry Marinette. It wasn't my intention to..." says Chat Noir. "I- I better leave you alone before I mess everything more".

Marinette grabs his arm and pulls himinto a hug. "No! I want you to stay! Stay by my side until everything goes off".

"Okay" says Chat Noir.

Thy stay in the balcony for quite a bit, Chat holding Marinette on his arms while Marinette cries and desperatedly tightens her grip on Chat Noir, letting all of her pent-up emotions flow in one go. Eventually, she calms down and hugs Chat Noir, thanking him for staying by her side and for always bbeing there for her. As an apology, Marinette makes Chat rest his head on her lap while she pets him in a soothing rythm, gently passing her fingers through his har and giving her a feeling of relief, relaxating and feeling warmer that he's felt for a long time.

[froodyie]

Context for this: Spinel holds Steven hostage in a fusion, because she gets completely obsessed with the feeling of loving herself. I’ll probably make this into a fic someday.

TW: angst and mentions of captivity

Pearl mused for a bit, taking in everything that Connie said. “I-I think Steven’s trying to reach out for you...through Tourmaline. My stars, I just…”, her sentence trailed away.

A growl emitted from Amethyst and the purple gem pulled out her whip, cracking it in the air. “T-That Spinel! Once I get my hands on her, she’s going to wish she was never made!! I-I’ll shatter her!!”

Pearl gasped loudly, covering her mouth with her hand. Peridot let out a small yelp before hiding behind Lapis and Bismuth, who were both equally shocked and wide-eyed. Garnet looked up from where she was, leaning against the wall, isolated in a small corner, but she didn’t say anything. After a few mere seconds, she averted her gaze.

Shaking her head and raising her hands, Connie stood up from the couch. In a firm voice and with a stern look on her face, she stated: “No one’s going to get shattered!”

Amethyst retaliated with a frown. Through gritted teeth, she spoke, “Someone is definitely going to be shattered and it’s going to be her!! Yeah, she reset us and tried to kill Steven and the Earth. We let that one pass cause she redeemed herself, but this?? Holding Steven hostage in a fusion for her own selfish reasons??? That’s unforgivable and I’m going to make her pay! She deserves to get shattered!!”

“Amethyst!” Pearl exclaimed, reaching out for her, but the smaller gem pulled back.

“You want to shatter her too! Admit it!” She screamed, pointing an accusing finger at Pearl. Tears were now on the verge of her eyes.

Pearl opened her mouth, but hesitated. She sighed and looked down, shaking her head slowly. “I’m enraged as well, Amethyst,” she began, “Spinel does deserve a punishment for what she’s done, but shattering? She doesn’t deserve that. No gem does. If we do that, we’ll be lower than her.”

“Pearl’s right,” Bismuth spoke up, walking up to Pearl and setting a comforting hand on her shoulder, “We don’t shatter gems. Steven wouldn’t—“

Amethyst interrupted her, throwing her whip to the ground.

“WOULDN’T WHAT? WOULDN’T LIKE IT, HUH??? AREN’T WE FORGETTING HE’S CURRENTLY TRAPPED?! ARE WE SURE HE WOULDN’T WANT HER TO GET SHATTERED?! I KNOW I WOULD IF I WAS HIM!”

“That’s what you think!” Pearl shouted, loudly, taking everyone by surprise with the pure anger coating her voice. It rose to a level that Connie had never heard before. “We’re thinking about him and what he wants!”

“WHAT DO YOU THINK I’M DOING!? I AM THINKING ABOUT HIM!! I’M SORRY THAT YOU GUYS ARE JUST SO STUPID SOFT!!”

A heated argument quickly ensued. Bismuth tried to break it up by getting in between them, but it was to no avail as the two gems still shouted at each other. Lapis and Peridot stood at the side, concerned and unease in their eyes as they weren’t sure on what to do.

Connie gripped her hands together and was ready to go and help Bismuth, but a slight movement from Garnet caught her attention from the corner of her eye.

The taller gem motioned for her to come over.

She hesitated, looking back at the others, but after a few seconds, she gave in and walked towards her.

“That wasn’t Steven reaching out to you, right?” Garnet quietly said. Her gaze was focused on something that wasn’t even there.

Connie didn’t say anything. She looked down at the floor.

“D-Did your future v-vision tell you?”

“Only a possibility. I need you to confirm it.”

The young girl let out a tired sigh and brought her hands to her face, rubbing the evident bags under her eyes.

“I-It wasn’t Steven. Nor was it Spinel,” she confirmed, “Tourmaline..She isn’t the same anymore..S-She l-looked terrible. Grotesque and depressed. The way she looked at me...She seemed to be the one who was asking for help! Not Steven. Steven lost control over her a long time ago. And definitely not Spinel.”

Her breath began to shake. Tears were slowly dripping from her cheeks as she recalled the horrible memory of the fusion, all malformed, slowly crawling towards her while wailing terrified, vulnerable pleas for help.

“W-W-Whatever hurt that Steven’s going through or what mental battle they’re currently having...It’s hurting Tourmaline badly.”

Garnet remained silent. The only response she gave was a slight nod. After a few seconds, she spoke:

“This is exactly like what happened with Malachite, but different. Malachite was created out of hatred and the thirst for revenge. It was made up of two gems who were in a battle for dominance. They were never given a chance to form a steady personality because of that and probably never will. But Tourmaline? She was build out of friendship, love, and most importantly, trust. Steven and Spinel did a good job laying out her personality. She has the best of both of them: kind, loveable, playful, and a good sense of humor. A really terrible shame that that trust was unfortunately broken and abused.”

She pulled down her glasses and looked directly at Connie. Her usually comforting, heart-warming eyes were clouded with grim apprehension and sorrow.

“I-I really had hoped this wouldn’t happen, but I can’t stop the way the river decides to flow,” she began, “Connie, you need to find Tourmaline and separate them. Immediately. That obsessive toxicity, pent-up anger, and fear that’s bubbling within in her. She can only withstand that for so little time before it completely engulfs her. There’s only two ways this can end. We need to choose the right path. For their sake.”

Connie kept silent. She thought for a minute, before carefully asking:

“What will happen to Spinel after all of this?”

Garnet sighed, placing her glasses back in their respectful place.

“Frankly, I don’t know. No matter how much I searched, everything’s hazy. “

Connie closed her eyes in quiet frustration and bit her lip. After a few seconds, she gave Garnet a firm, determined nod; unbeknownst to the fusion, through that nod she was shaking away the dreadful, unwanted images of what could happened to the gem once all of this was done with. It deeply pained her.

“I’ll bring them back…”

[yellowmagicalgirl]

Juliet Dies in This Chapter Six: Life

Claire is alive. She is not well.

Welcome to the final chapter, sorry for the late update! In exchange, have some art of Jim and Claire.

If anyone thought this was going to be a happy chapter, though... well, trigger/spoiler warning for offscreen torture and death, mentions of malnutrition, PTSD, and some internalized ableism.

Also, huge thanks to everyone who has reblogged the previous chapters of this fic.

AO3

FFN

The walk to the hospital felt so very long.

The walk to the hospital was two agonizing blocks and one alley they had taken because Claire had taken one look at the mass of people and –

She didn’t remember what she did, but she remembered Jim and Toby trying to calm her down, telling her that she didn’t have to interact with a lot of people yet, that they knew a shortcut.

What had she been thinking? That once she got out of the Shadow Realm, her anxiety would suddenly go down to zero?

The entire way to the hospital, Claire had been on the edge of a panic attack and she didn’t know why. She was safe now. She had saved Enrique. Her friends were still alive. Jim was alive. She had escaped. A mob of people doing last-minute Christmas shopping – because she had been there for six months – wouldn’t be able to hurt her in a meaningful way, so why was she so scared?

Was it because everything was so loud? She was used to sounds only happening because she made them happen, but she had been always listening to make sure Morgana wasn’t coming back to torture her.

Claire was thankful for the diversion from the crowd. Her knees, ankles, and hips were not thankful for the supposed “shortcut.” She had tried to keep up an exercise regimen, but it was hard to keep to a schedule when the passage of time was a nebulous concept. The amount of weight she had lost didn’t help, either.

Jim didn’t let go of her hand. Toby only let go of Claire’s hand when he needed to readjust Enrique. It was better for him to hold her brother; there were sharp edges on his armor. He was less of a hazard.

The waiting room for the clinic was empty. There was a clock reading 3:46, and it ticked, because time was meaningful on Earth. The receptionist looked up and immediately reached for their pager. “Doctor Lake? Your son and his friends are here.”

Barbara must have been close, because not a minute later – Claire kept the clock in her vision – she came barreling down the corridor.

First Barbara’s eyes landed on Toby, and she looked relieved to see Enrique, alive and mostly well, aside from the cut on his hand. Then her eyes passed over Claire in favor of Jim; Barbara had a look of frustrated concern upon seeing Jim’s burns. It was as if burns from the sunlight was a too-common occurrence. Then, finally, Barbara noticed the figure standing between the two boys.

She looked like she had seen a ghost. Claire didn’t fault her for that; just because she was opaque didn’t mean the girl who had jumped through the portal hadn’t died six months ago.

Barbara recovered quickly. “Toby, take Enrique to the pediatric ward. Jim, I’m sure you know where the burn treatment center is.”

Toby ripped his hand from Claire’s with an apologetic look. “I’ll call your parents, tell them that you and Enrique are here,” he said over his shoulder as he walked away.

Jim began to move away from her, too, and in panic – chains, Blinky, torn, snapped – Claire used her other hand to hold onto his. Immediately she felt guilty, but she did not let go.

“Hey, Mom? Is it okay if I stay with Claire for a bit?” he asked, giving her a comforting smile. Or at least, it was supposed to be one. Claire took no comfort in the situation, no matter what changed.

“Five minutes, maximum, and then you’re getting those burns looked at.”

They walked to an empty patient examination room. Claire couldn’t remember if this was the same one where Barbara had proclaimed that Claire’s illness from the portal was due to stress. She hoped that Barbara had gotten better with identifying the symptoms of dark magic.

There was a scale and a blood pressure cuff in the room. Claire felt her eyes widen; she didn’t want anyone to see her. She didn’t want anyone to see how much she had been warped.

 “Can you take off your armor?” Barbara asked. Claire’s joints ached even when her armor braced them; if she wanted them to heal, she would have to let a doctor see them. Barbara had accepted when her son had become a troll, so she was the best bet for not casting Claire away in horror.

Claire braced herself against the wall with one hand. With the other, she closed her fingers around the crystal in the center of her breastplate and pulled it out. Her armor glowed and was pulled in like a star into a glowing black hole. Her porcelain-white hair floated around her head for the briefest of moments as she placed the crystal in her pocket, carefully wedged so that she could don her armor again in a half-moment’s notice.

Someone inhaled sharply. Shock, probably, from seeing the way cracks crawled their way up and down her arms, with a concentrated group around her wrists and elbows. From seeing the irregular choker of cracks around her neck, a scar from when her neck had snapped when she had first become trapped; a brand that said no matter how many times Claire died, Morgana would resurrect her again just to make sure the agony never ended.

She was thankful that she woke up cold, and wore sweats, socks, and a t-shirt instead of the tank top and shorts she had gone to bed in. She wished she could be wearing a long-sleeved turtleneck, and a hood, and gloves, and maybe a glamour mask while she was at it.

Taking off her armor was a mistake. Not only was she shaking, but they knew, now. They knew that she was not the Claire they knew anymore; she was broken, and her body was just a bunch of brutally glued together pieces. She was very tempted to take out her hairclips and hide behind her hair like she did as a child.

“Hey, Claire?” Jim asked. “Why are you wearing my clothes?”

“What?”

“I mean, you wore your Papa Skull shirt when… on that day, when you and Toby were putting on your armor.” His face fell, but then he grinned. “Why are you now wearing gym clothes?”

She couldn’t help the laughter that caused her to nearly double over. “You, you aren’t even funny,” she said when she was able to catch her breath. How long had it been since she had laughed like that? How long had it been since she had last smiled?

Barbara pushed her glasses up slightly to pinch her brow, despite her shoulders shaking slightly from laughter. She and Jim then helped Claire to the scale.

Concern flashed across Jim and Barbara’s faces as they saw just how little Claire weighed. Claire didn’t think her weight was that bad; it was harder to see her ribs than when she had first escaped Morgana.

She had to be helped to the bed, too, because her arms and legs ached, and she didn’t want to risk triggering a panic attack by levitating herself. Claire pressed her lips together and tried not to think about the way the blood pressure cuff squeezed her arm.

“Hey, I don’t know if I told you this, but that was pretty cool, what you did with the chains,” Jim said. He was trying to distract her. She appreciated it, because logically she suspected that no one wanted to attack her in this hospital despite her anxiety telling her to be vigilant.

“Thanks,” she said, the energy from her laughter gone. She glanced at the blood pressure monitor and realized that she had no idea what 130/78 meant, though she was pretty sure usually the top number was lower.

“Claire, I’m going to ask you some questions. Jim, go get your burns treated,” Barbara said as she removed the blood pressure cuff.

“Yes, Mom,” he said, reluctantly. “See you in, like, twenty minutes, Claire.”

Claire waved and winced at the strain.

“The places where the cracks are,” Barbara said. “Do they hurt?”

“Sometimes,” Claire said. Her eyes darted about, looking for a clock. Twenty minutes. One thousand, two hundred seconds. Without a clock, it meant nothing to her. She didn’t hear a ticking noise.

“Have you… were any of your bones broken?” Barbara asked, and her voice was awkwardly stiff, like she was trying to stick to a procedure. A list of questions to ask a former POW, or something.

Claire nodded. “They… they got healed, though.”

“Okay,” Barbara said, writing it down. “Can you say how long ago that was?”

“No.” Claire found the clock. It read 2:10. A large post-it note was on top of it, and it read “REMINDER: FIX!”

“Do you think they’re the reason why you have difficulty walking?”

“Uh… no, it was… it was… I’m sorry.” Chained, pulled, snapped, slammed –

Claire gnawed at her lip. She was supposed to be okay here. “I can’t remember which, which method of torture made my joints bad.”

“It’s okay, it shouldn’t affect the treatment,” Barbara soothed; she pulled her stethoscope from where it hung around her neck. “I’m going to check your heartbeat and breathing.” She pulled Claire’s shirt up from her back. Barbara’s gasp would be inaudible for anyone who wasn’t hypersensitive to every sound.

The feeling of the cool metal circle against the crisscrossed scars and cracks was an odd one, but Claire tried to keep her breathing steady.

“Well, the good news is that your heartbeat and breathing are normal,” Barbara said. She smiled, and Claire tried to mirror it. Her own felt like an ugly, broken mess.

“When was the last time you ate?” Barbara asked.

Claire shrugged. “I… I don’t know, I guess in the last day?” As if on cue, her stomach growled. “Yeah, last day, since my body is still acting human.” She had come to notice that if she didn’t eat for a long enough period of time, her magic would switch on to keep her alive. She always felt more tired than usual when that happened, though. Maybe more depressed and anxious, too.

“When was your last period?” Barbara asked.

“Um, like, a week or two before the Eternal Night?” Claire said. “I… I think between the, the torture and the forgetting to eat it just… stopped.”

Barbara pulled out a small flashlight, and then put it back into her lab coat. Since she then began to gently feel around Claire’s head, Barbara must have realized that Claire didn’t have pupils anymore.

“I’m going to start an IV,” Barbara said. “Will you be okay for that?”

Piercing, claws, heart, ripped –

“I should be,” Claire said, blinking away the flashes of memory. “Will you be able to find a vein?”

“Your veins shouldn’t be harder to find than Jim’s,” Barbara said, feeling around Claire’s elbow. “Make a fist?”

Claire looked away but complied.

“Your parents are going to be so happy to see that you’re alive.”

Would they be, when they saw?

Pain, piercing, claws, gold –

“Are you cold? I can go get a blanket,” Barbara said. Claire realized she was trembling, and that there was an IV drip connected to her arm.

“I, I’ll be fine.”

“Do you have a lot of flashbacks from what happened to you, in the Shadow Realm?”

“Y-yeah.”

“You’re safe here,” Barbara said, looking Claire in the eyes. “And even if anyone were to come after you, I keep an enchanted knife on me these days.”

And Claire had her armor, and her magic, and maybe she could fight well enough. She was exhausted, though.

“I’m going to get you something to eat,” Barbara said. Claire realized she must have frowned or did something wrong because Barbara rolled her eyes. “Don’t worry, it’s hospital food, not my cooking. The bread shouldn’t upset your stomach.”

Claire was pretty sure she had eaten a jalapeño or two while in the Shadow Realm, but bread was fine. Barbara left the room. Claire was alone, again.

There was noise, though. A lot of noise. Had Earth always been so loud?

Enough time passed for Claire to count forty of the white parts of the triangles in the ground, with the couple times she had restarted twice because she had lost focus because a noise outside had startled her.

Claire heard three sets of footsteps as well as Barbara’s voice.

“She shows some signs of malnourishment, and I’m going to want to run x-rays on her later, to see how well her broken bones healed, and also maybe find a cause to her bad joints,” Barbara said in a hushed tone. The footsteps stopped outside the door. “And, please don’t take this as a formal diagnosis because I’m not a psychiatrist or psychologist, but I think she might have PTSD. She’s really spooked, and she says she often has flashbacks to her trauma.”

The door opened.

Barbara held a small tray of food, but despite her hunger she wasn’t the person Claire focused on.

Claire’s parents looked ecstatic, and then bewildered. And why wouldn’t they be? They were expecting their daughter, not a girl covered in black cracks with white hair and black-and-purple eyes.

Claire couldn’t bring herself to put on her armor, even though surely that would make her parents realize who she was.

“Claire?” her mom asked in a shaking voice. Her mom’s voice never shook. Her dad looked like he was about to cry but was holding himself together for the sake of her mom and Enrique. Enrique, whose hand had been bandaged from where the sorcerer had cut him.

Claire couldn’t bring herself to speak. Couldn’t speak, not really, not with the panic settling in. The muscles in her jaw and neck kept twitching as the left side of her mouth kept trying to move downwards. It wasn’t a frown her face was trying to form, it was a raw expression of pain she knew too well.

She missed them so much, but surely they would leave, now that they knew the truth about her.

Claire gave a slow nod, and that was enough permission for her family to suddenly be close and hugging her.

Suffocated, restrained – no. Claire forced herself to breathe deeply.

She had survived the Shadow Realm.

She was safe. She was home.

She hugged her parents back and began to weep.

She might even get to live.

[steebrogurz]

Blind Date Ch. 1

Pairing: Bucky x Bisexual Reader

Summary: After a bad break up your best friend sets you up on a blind date.

word count: 2400

warnings: Angst, fluff, mentions of cheating, being followed.

a/n: This is something that I've started but haven't been able to work on as much as I would like due to life and other fics, but I will try to update this as consistently as I can.

Chapter 2 | masterlist

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"I trusted you! I thought you were…" I trailed off as I looked down at Sarah’s phone. The screen was alight with messages she had been sending to other women throughout our 7-month relationship. "You know what? Nevermind." I sniffled and turned to leave grabbing my jacket and purse on the way out.

"Y/N, I’m sorry. It won’t happen again I promise." Sarah reached out as I passed but I stepped out of her reach.

"Don’t touch me," I said taking a deep shuddering breath. "I can’t trust you anymore." With that, I left her apartment.

As I walked down the hall towards the elevator I dialed my friend’s number and punched the down button.

"Hello?" Came an answer after the third ring.

"Steve-" I sobbed into the phone but couldn’t say much else.

"Y/N? What's going on? Are you ok?" Concern rang out as he heard the distress in my voice.

"I just broke up with Sarah. She's been cheating on me this whole time we’ve been together!" I broke down in another bought of sobs as the elevator doors opened to, thankfully, an empty elevator.

"Shit dude, I’m sorry." The doors closed and I started my descent to the ground floor.

"I found the messages on her phone and it looks like she was talking to at least three other women! I feel so stupid I can’t believe I thought she loved me! I’m fucking ugly crying in the elevator right now… and now someone is getting on!" I gave a hysterical laugh between sobs as the elevator slowed and the doors opened to reveal a man standing alone on the other side.

"I gotta go, I’ll call you later." I hung up the phone before Steve could say anything else. I sniffled and repeatedly wiped my eyes in a useless attempt to hide the fact that I was just crying. The man at the doors hesitated for a second as if trying to decide whether or not he wanted to be trapped in an elevator with a sobbing woman he didn’t know. But just as the doors began to close he stuck his hand out to stop them and stepped inside.

"Which floor?" I asked, not looking at him hoping he would be getting off a few floors down.

"Ground." Was all he answered.

Perfect. I thought to myself as I punched the close door button then the ground button for good measure even tho it was still illuminated. At least I’m not crying anymore. Sure the crying had stopped but the sniffling was still an issue and without any Kleenex, there was nothing I could do.

"Do you want a tissue?" The man asked when the elevator started moving. There was a note of kindness in his voice that I wasn’t expecting. I turned to look at him for the first time and almost choked. He was at least 6 feet tall and even through his light fall jacket I could tell he was muscular. His brown hair looked soft and just brushed the top of his shoulders, framing a jaw that looked like it had been sculpted in marble and his blue eyes looked at me expectantly, waiting for an answer.

"uh… yeah, thanks." I sputtered out shaking my head in an attempt to focus on what he was holding out to me. I shakily reached for the tissue in his outstretched hand and turned away to loudly blow my nose. At any other point in my life I would have been mortified at the very thought of wiping my snotty nose in front of someone this attractive, but at this very moment, I had no more fucks to give. My mind was still reeling with the pain of the betrayal.

"Is everything alright, ma'am?" He asked once I had pocketed the dirty tissue.

Ma'am?! I gave a harsh laugh and turned to him once more. "No. It's not. I just found out that the woman who I thought loved me has been cheating the entire time. So right now, no I am far from alright!" I turned away from him again as angry tears streamed down my face once more and fixed my gaze on the doors. The stunned silence in the elevator the rest of the way down was deafening and mercifully the doors opened shortly after. I rushed out of the elevator and made my way outside into the cold autumn air.

The crisp air was like a slap to the face and my brain finally processed my outburst in the elevator. Embarrassment and shame washed over me momentarily blocking out the rage I felt.

"I need to get home before I yell at someone else," I told myself as I began to make my way home. It was a short walk home which was great when Sarah and I were together, but now all I could think about was having to eventually face Sarah at a grocery store or something like that. At least that’s a problem for future Y/N

It was only 9 pm when I got home but I was exhausted from the day so I just stripped down and crawled into bed not bothering to put on any pjs or brush my teeth. I already felt disgusting inside, I may as well look disgusting too.

—————————

The next week I tried to spend as much of my time under my blankets as I could. Steve had tried to call numerous times but I declined each attempt not in the mood to talk to anyone. One morning I woke up to my phone ringing and finally picked it up to answer.

"Hello?" My voice was raspy from disuse.

"Y.N?!"

"Uh…hey Steve."

"Don’t hey Steve me! I’ve been calling you for days! I was worried sick, I didn’t know if you were alive! You could've been abducted by aliens or something and I wouldn't even know."

His melodramatic tone brought a smile to my lips. "Sorry about that, but in my defense, I just had my heart broken."

"Yeah, you better fucking be sorry Y/N!"

"Woah! You kiss your mother with that damn mouth, Rogers?" I sat up and my smile grew.

That got Steve laughing. "Ok fine. But you’re not off the hook for making me worry about you. You owe me a drink when we go tonight. By the way, we’re going out."

"Oh, yeah that’s a no-go on my end here Rogers. I think I’m just going to lay low for, like, ever."

"Come on Y/N, it’ll be fine. We’ll go somewhere Sarah won’t be. There’s no better way to get over an ex than to get drunk and talk shit about her with a friend."

It didn’t take much for Steve to convince me to meet him at a bar near his place after work to drink and talk.

"Ok fine! I’ll go." I smiled to myself despite my cloudy mood and hung up. Steve always knew what to say to get to smile.

I walked into the bathroom and groaned at the sight of me in the mirror. In my depressed state, I hadn’t been showering as much as I really should’ve been. My hair was a tangled mess on top of my head, my face looked like a damn oil spill and my pjs were stained and wrinkled.

Thankfully it was my day off so I decided to take advantage of my slightly better mood and do some cleaning. I turned on the shower and while I waited for the water to heat up I stripped off my pjs and gathered other various articles of clothing to throw into the hamper to be washed later. After the shower, I put on a fresh pair of pjs and got to work cleaning my apartment.

The cleaning took almost all day and by the time I was done my third load of laundry, it was time to start getting ready to meet Steve. I didn’t put much effort into my look and put on a pair of freshly cleaned jeans and sweater I figured would be enough to keep out the autumn chill. I kept my hair in the loose bun and put on the smallest amount of makeup. I wore a pair of mid-calf boots and pulled my purse from its hook by the door and walked out.  

The sweet smell of decaying leaves filled my nose as I walked to the train station. The sun had started to set and I regretted not wearing a jacket, but thankfully I had grabbed a scarf on impulse before leaving the apartment. It took me 10 minutes to get to the bar where I agreed to meet Steve, and when I walked in I immediately spotted him sitting at the bar with a woman who looked like she was trying too hard to flirt with him. A smile spread across my face as I watched her flip her red hair behind her shoulder and laugh at something he said. He caught sight of me over her shoulder and grinned knowing exactly what I was thinking.

I strolled over to the pair and joined in with her laughter. I draped my arm around Steve’s shoulders and looked at the woman. She was beautiful, her hair looked soft and fell in waves around her shoulders, and her blue eyes sparkled in the dim light of the bar. I would’ve tried to get her number but something told me that she was only interested in Steve.

"Isn’t he just the funniest?" I asked, planting a kiss on his cheek. The woman stopped laughing immediately and looked between the two of us in mild shock before picking up her drink and walking off. I watched her walk away then took her seat once she was out of view. "You know, you could just let them know you’re not interested. Instead of, you know, giving them hope."

He laughed and took a swig of his beer. "I know but it’s more fun this way."

"You’re evil," I ordered a drink for me and turned to Steve. "So how’s life been since I crawled into my little hole of heartbreak?"

Steve shrugged, “Everyone at the center has been asking about you. They've been worried too."

I nodded, a few of them had called me throughout the week too. "Don’t worry I’ll be back for the next meeting."

"Have you thought about dating again?"

I laughed, "Dude, it’s literally been a week since I broke up with Sarah. I’m going to need more time than that to get over her." I downed the rest of my drink and ordered another one.

"Come on Y/N, I know a guy who I think you'd like, his name is Bucky, he's handsome, kinda nerdy, a little broody but he’s hot when he does it."

I just shook my head trying to hide the smile that spread across my face. “Bucky?” I asked skeptically, “should I really be going on a date with a guy who lets people call him ‘Bucky’?”

“Trust me, he's a great guy. And ‘Bucky’ is just a nickname”

"If he’s so great why don’t you date him?" I poked his shoulder and my smile grew at Steve's nervous laugh.

“He's been my best friend since we were kids it would be weird at this point. And besides, he's straight.” Steve rubbed the back of his neck and turned away from me but I didn't miss the slight blush that coloured his cheeks. “Look, he's been single for a while and he just moved here not too long ago,” Steve turned back to look at me. “And I really think you two will hit it off. Just go on one date with him, then I’ll stop bugging you about it.”

I sighed and stared into my drink. Maybe a rebound was what I needed. “Ok fine, I’ll go on a date with your friend but I can’t make any promises. And he’s not going to be weird about me bi is he?”

Steve smiled and gave me his friend’s information, “He’s not weird about me being bi why would be weird about you?”

I shrugged but didn't answer. The rest of the night was spent drinking and laughing. We both flirted with anyone who looked remotely interested but unlike Steve, I didn’t go home with anyone. I stepped out into the cold night air and hugged my scarf tighter around my shoulders but did close to nothing against the biting wind. I quickly walked to the train station not wanting to be outside for longer than I had to be.

I had just gotten to the station when I realized someone had followed me from the bar. A man I remember talking to, and rejecting, at the bar stood a few feet away from me looking down at his phone. I could see out of the corner of my eye that he would periodically glance up in my direction. I tried to shift further away from him and put as many people as I could in between us but at 1:30 in the morning the platform was almost empty. It wasn’t until I saw him get on the same train as me that I pulled out a small pocket knife and keys from my purse. I sat down beside the doors and watched as he sat down opposite me never looking up from his phone. My heart raced as the train started moving and it seemed to take forever to get to my stop but once it did I jumped up from my seat and ran out not looking behind me to see if the man was still following me. I ran the rest of the way home and didn’t stop until I was inside my apartment building and the elevator doors closed behind me.

I let out a shuddering breath and leaned against the back of the elevator. I pulled out my phone to text Steve saying I was home safe and hesitated when I saw Bucky’s name in my contacts, but decided against texting a stranger at 2 in the morning. I’ll text him in the morning. I thought to myself as I started getting ready for bed. However, my plan to text him disappeared when I woke up to work calling me in.

[firebird-inkheart]

I had a dream with Kaka/shi in it and, much like all my other f/o dreams, it sure was, ah, vividly interesting. 

―――

It started off with the two of us meeting up again after a long time. He said something teasing to me and in retaliation I denied him a cookie (yes, a pleasantly odd start, but still endearing to me in ways I can’t explain). When he sat down though he got quite serious, apologizing to me for not being around to “protect” me when I needed it most. I went on to explain a situation I had been in in the past― which now that I think about it, was actually the state of mind I had been in before I had graduated high school, though it had been phrased as if it had only happened earlier this year; depressed, anxious, and a mixture of angry and afraid due to the circumstances occurring at home at the time ―which made him feel worse. But then I’d gone on to speak about how I’d recovered from it, how I was doing so much better and actually taking care of myself now. I was glad that he’d come back and that he seemed earnest to make things up to me.

He told me that if I ever needed him then he’d just be a call away.

Then there was a bit of a skip here in which I don’t remember how the dream transitioned, but I distinctly recall Prince of Egypt vibes for some reason. I remember a very small scene where I was looking at a file with Kakashi’s info on it, but he was called “Cain” or “Cein”, as if to reference canine I think. And then I was moving on again.

I had been invited to this mansion as part of a research program. What it was for I can’t recall, but there had been something fishy going on with the organizers of it, and I had happened to overhear a conversation I wasn’t supposed to hear. I was part of something big, no more than another experiment myself.

There was a bathroom nearby. I hid in it and locked the door as the man, one of the two organizers I’d overheard, moved down the hallway.

The door unlocked and popped open just a little bit as he passed by. I panicked, but didn’t make a move, hoping he hadn’t noticed a thing. The man kept going. As quickly as I dared I shut the door again and locked it.

A blade ran through the door, and then, to further my horror, the lock popped open again, the man on the other side unlocking it. I tried locking it once more but it did nothing to help as he just unlocked it again. And then he began to hack the door apart while I tried to keep the door pushed shut myself.

I was trapped, weaponless, and terrified out of my mind. I didn’t want to die, I didn’t want to die, I didn’t want to die. The door was giving out in an unnervingly easy manner. I barely remembered what Kakashi had told me; I slammed a drawer from the nearby sink open and used it to block the door while I called him.

It was stupid to think an actual phone call would work. He hadn’t answered. He wasn’t “just a phone call away”.

There was only one way out now, and that was a long way down from the window to the ground. My fear of heights outweighed the fear of the man hacking his way through the door with the intent to ram his sword through me― Of course the acrophobia wins out against the more immediate and pressing danger of death by brutal murder. What else did I expect from myself? I can only sink to the floor, crying and begging to be anywhere else, be with anyone else.

“Kakashi!” I sobbed as the man finally broke through the door. “Kakashi please! I need you!”

To be on the precipice of death is an experience I detest in dreams. My heart would rather give out first from beating so fast― fast enough that it almost seems slow, yet hard enough that it could almost break from it’s cage of flesh and bone, and each beat sends a fire so searing through my chest that I have to wonder if that’s what it feels like to swallow lava before bursting into flames ―before I die of whatever is trying to kill me in the dream. Fearing death at the hands of stranger whose face I can no longer recall, for reasons that don’t make any sense other than I had happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time hearing the wrong thing. It was only a dream, but it had felt real in the moment. Too real.

And then the saving grace arrived, late as usual.

“Yo. Sorry I took so long.”

Tears of fear turned to that of relief; I was still shaken though, too paralyzed to do much more than tremble at that point. Kakashi smiled briefly at me before turning to the adversary, the flash of rage shining brightly in his eye. He wordlessly exchanged blows with the man― wordless because there was nothing he could say that could truly convey the sheer acrimony of what he felt in that moment ―and he knocked the enemy clear out of the room. Then he was at my side, pulling me up and helping me stand. Kakashi bore no reservations about jumping out window if it meant escape. But then again, Kakashi both possessed a set of skills which allowed for him to pull such stunts as well as didn’t possess a glaringly strong fear of heights like I did.

We were running across the lawn, a space so ridiculously vast and it only seemed to keep growing. The man that tried to kill me had only been stunned for a moment, not enough to get a proper lead, especially not with as sluggish as I was. It became a race, a game, then. The pace in which we ran and which they fought was brutal. At times I was running on my own as Kakashi forced the man further back, to keep him away from me. Other times I was only aware of the sensation of his gloved hand wrapped tightly around mine, tugging me forward.

We reached a pond surrounded by lava rock― a feature I only recognized simply because I had grown up surrounded by it my whole life. Kakashi had broken away from me again to clash with the man and his sword. I lost track of them as a blinding light blazed across my vision. 

When I could see again, there, standing upon the rocks, was the other organizer, a woman, who had called for my death. She tried to convince me that if I surrendered then and there that I could still be an important asset, that I didn’t have to die, but there were traps filled with razors lining her pretty words. If an asset was so important then murder shouldn’t have been the first means of resolving conflict.

She had a gun cocked and ready. I was right to not believe her. 

There was a blur again where I lost notion of how things transitioned, only the brief recollection that I hadn’t been shot, just merely shot at, and that the woman’s head had made personal acquaintance out of the rocks she’d tried to use as a pulpit. 

Kakashi had won his battle, nothing to be seen of the man except his sword sticking straight up from the water. But he had not gone unscathed. His shirt was torn, and he had collapsed against the rocks. I managed my way to him on shaky legs, practically crawling towards him near the end. When I had reached him I collapsed on top of him. My arms snaked around his neck and I clung onto him for dear life. There seemed to be no end to my tears that night.

And he wound his arms around me. 

Physical sensation is a rarity in my dreams, unless it’s pain, or a bodily reaction to fear. But when he returned my embrace, he felt solid. Whole. Real. There was a pleasant warmth to be found in the arms of someone you loved and who in turn loved you; peace of mind, serenity, safety― An ease in which we simply existed and nothing could hurt us. A feeling I have not often felt in waking life, but treasure always when it visits me in my dreams.

“I’m sorry I was late,” he apologized again, this time with less bravado and more sincerity. “Thank you, though, for believing in me this time.”

“Thank you,” I mumbled into his chest, “for coming running when I called for you.”

The edges of sleep were fraying away into awareness of the world outside. I only had a few more precious moments with him. He seemed to know this too, his hold growing just a little tighter as he whispered in my ear:

“For you then I’m always just a call away.”