#-extra degree in another city

[katyspersonal]

I know this is supposed to be a stressful thing, but hearing everyone talk about dying from finals makes me a bit nostalgic and even jealous? I just miss university times so goddamn much.

It was really good to spend half of the day listening to the teachers talk about stuff I found interesting, and have to discipline myself to read/write to certain deadlines. (And to have much more free time..) Adult life with full time job just isn't the same. Every day is like another and new information isn't flowing as much but self-studying is less fun without a teacher and the whole class interested in the same topic. I even miss homeworks that I was putting more effort into than any sane person would! Much older and much more experienced people regularly praising my effort and depth of my thought was a crucial validation resource to think of it :')

[sluttyfranzkafka]

damn kind of had a crazy week as just some villager who lives in a place so small that its name alone would dox me

[obsessivevoidkitten]

Heroes To Villains

DILF Yandere Superheroes x Gender Neutral Superhero Reader CW: Noncon, imprisonment, minor violence, gratuitous amount of firearms, super powers, super soldiers, spitroasting, general yandere behavior, bratty reader Word Count: 3.8k (I am sorry this took a bit for me to get to, only took a few hours to write though. I hope you guys love it. Feel free to tip if you do~)

The city you were stationed in was under attack by some fairly destructive super villains. They were either traitors born of the same government program that had produced you and the other super soldiers you worked with or they were sent by another country to attack the retired super agents of your country. Though it was also possible they were a rogue foreigner with a vendetta. All the people making up your squad had been in the military and had made significant enemies.

Their goals did not really matter so much at the moment. It was more important that they were defeated before they caused any casualties.

There were two of them. One of them with an ability to lash out with streams of fire and smoke and another that could jump up really fast and high before slamming down and causing a large explosion on impact.

They were no match for you and your comrades. Red and Ace had handled much worse threats than these two with ease. Ace had been a top pilot before undergoing medical experimentation that left him with angel-like wings and the ability to shoot energy blasts from his hands. The man was like a living B-52. And Red was basically a human tank. Very little could so much as scratch his skin and he had tremendous physical strength.

Both of them had soared through the ranks and had distinguished themselves as competent generals in the last great war. Now they were retired and used their abilities as super soldiers to become heroes and protect the capital from the strange threats that had been unleashed during war time. Mostly the occasional villain. Sometimes a mutant animal.

You had just been a simple medic. Nothing too fancy, but you had hesitantly taken the opportunity to go through experiments that would allow you to heal others much more effectively and without the need for invasive surgery. Most of the super soldiers gained a unique ability and also became more resilient to damage and agile.

And you had gotten those perks too, but not to the degree as everyone else. Though you had gotten an extra ability that most people lacked. Hyper accurate aim with long distance weapons. But you also suffered a drawback when compared to your peers. You got exhausted easily, having very little stamina.

Who could forget the time you had saved the city by firing the railroad gun at the giant robot that used mutated biological components in its construction? Firing a 19,000 pound shell and obliterating an entire giant robot with one perfectly executed shot had been amazing.

You longed for that kind of usefulness again. But currently you were a bit bored, as a long range support unit you frequently hung back a bit. Red and Ace normally cleared everything up themselves without having need of your abilities.

Ace had plucked the hopper from the sky and injected him with a serum that would knock him out cold until he could be taken into custody where his abilities would be removed completely, if they could be. Red had similarly taken out the fire user who had discovered that his searing flames did little more than make Red sweat a bit.

They regrouped together before they started walking back to you, each carrying the limp weight of an unconscious enemy on their shoulders. It would be a few minutes before they got to the rendezvous.

You heard the gruff voice of Red on your comm line.

“We got em’ On our way back now.”

“Affirma-”

You were cut off by a sudden shift underground followed by a woman jumping up from the earth below you and punching you hard enough to launch you several feet.

There had been a third and they had split up to take you on individually.

As you fell through the air you took out your side arm and fired every round in rapid succession. Each one aimed for her heart. Each one hit their mark. But when you hit the ground you had smacked your head pretty hard and the world faded to black.

You woke up in a medical bed in the basement of your headquarters. You were quite dizzy and you felt like you were certainly going to vomit.

You held your hands to your head and your palms flashed.

Much better. If you hadn’t been knocked out you would have simply been able to heal whatever injuries you had sustained in a flash. Oh well you were better now.

Ace walked in to check on you right as you had been getting up. He burst into a smile at seeing you awake. His blue eyes full of joy.

“Hey runt! Glad to see that you’re getting up and about!”

“Who’s a runt!?”

He flexed his biceps to drive the point in.

“Red, get in here, The runt is up!”

You heard his loud steps reverberate upstairs as he bounded towards the basement door and came rushing down.

“It’s been five days, we were beginning to really worry about you, squirt.”

He was smiling but you could tell his red eyes held a lot of concern in them. It seemed like there was something he wanted to say but didn’t know how.

“Well, no need to worry. I am not as fragile as a regular person. And I am fully healed now.”

“Yeah… but you weren’t hit by a normal person. And you aren’t as durable as most of us…”

That was Ace.

“Yeah, yeah, I will be more careful, okay? I know my limits. I don’t need a lecture. I took the enemy down and I am okay now so we don’t need to linger on it.”

Ace put his hand to his face and his wings quivered in annoyance as they often do when he tries to lecture you and you just won’t have it.

You rolled your eyes and finally Red spoke up.

“This isn’t the first time you have gotten hurt on the field. Even with precautions like staying back you still end up injured!”

“What’s your point? It's a battle, injuries happen. At least I can heal.”

Ugh, an Ace lecture you were used to. You didn’t need both of them nagging at you.

You rolled your eyes as Red continued.

“Have you ever considered… going into another career? You volunteer at the hospital… maybe you could do that full time?”

That did it.

“Excuse me? I wasn’t in any command position, but I was a trained soldier all the same! I think I can handle myself!”

You stormed away from them and went up the stairs, slamming the door behind you. Assholes. Who were they to tell you what you should consider doing? It was your life and if you wanted to use it fighting genetically enhanced monsters and super-criminals then that was your right to do so.

It would become evident in the future that this incident was where everything started to go wrong. Going forward in battle they always had at least one of them at your side whenever it was physically possible for them to do so.

When you were eventually still injured even with that precaution, even though it was minor, they pressured you again to quit being a hero. They thought maybe you just were too attached to them to leave so they even suggested that you could still be their medic but you would stay on at the base. You could even still operate the railroad rifle that could fire shells from miles away whenever a large foe approached the city.

But you wouldn’t have it. Fuck them. You told them that if you had to form a new squad in a new city then you would do so.

They frantically apologized immediately so they let it go.

It was unfathomable that they would ever allow you to do such a thing. Go off where they couldn’t protect you even a little? Where some inexperienced whelp of a leader would surely get you killed? Not a chance!

But neither could they allow you to remain a front line combatant. Not after the injuries and not with how easily you became fatigued when exerting yourself.

The solution was ugly, but it was what it was. You left them no other option for your own safety.

Though it would make them criminals themselves they had to do it for your own good. They had to keep you here with them where you would be safe and secure. They could turn the base’s AI defenses to keep you here and make sure that you were safe. They could also have it alert them through their comms if you there was any trouble while they were on a mission.

You were laying on your bed with your hands behind your head. You stared at your ceiling and contemplated all that you had been through. The war, seeing comrades on the battlefield ripped apart with no way to save them as they bled out in agony. You had to protect people from that in every way that you could, and if you did die on the battlefield then that was fine by you.

The intrusion of Red and Ace barging into your room out of nowhere pulled you from your thoughts and you regarded them both with a scowl.

“What NOW!? Can’t you guys at least knock? I mean seriousl-”

Ace cut you off with a hand gesture for silence before Red spoke up.

“Listen squirt… we decided something. We can’t allow you to join us on the field anymore…”

“Didn’t you just apologize for saying that after I threatened to leave? Whatever, I am out of here!”

You hopped up to gather your belongings and set out at once, the mere sight of the two heroes making you want to go on a rampage, but Red pushed you back onto the bed, then Ace picked up where Red had left off.

“Well that’s not all, runt. We also decided… you can’t leave here either…”

You started laughing. It had to be some kind of joke. But the tension that filled the room told you otherwise. You looked from Red to Ace and the empty expression from Ace and the guilty one from Red told you that they were deadly serious.

You grabbed your sidearm and launched yourself at Ace, you weaved past Red and twirled yo get behind Ace and held your arm around his neck with your gun aimed at his head. You didn’t speak a word, your intention clear.

There was no way you would be kept here.

You couldn’t go for Red as small arms fire would bounce off of him, but at point blank range Ace was toast. You backed out of the room, pulling Ace along with you. He cooperated fully. Even a pair of overprotective psychos didn’t want their brains blown out.

Out of nowhere a robotic arm emerged from one of the sockets in the walls. It seized your gun and then Ace flipped your positions with him behind you.

They had reprogrammed the defenses of the base to not allow you to have a weapon. These two were not former generals for nothing. They knew how their adversary, you, would react.

You slammed your foot down on Ace’s and smacked your head behind him to hit his nose. Such weak attacks did nothing to dislodge you from his ironclad grasp.

“Stop this childish behavior and just accept things. This is for your own good. If anything this little outburst has proven that you need to be protected because you certainly cannot control your emotions!”

Red was in front of you, still looking at you with that guilty expression.

“I’ll go get your weapons from your room.”

Ace and you watched in the doorway as Red got a sack and rummaged through every single inch of your private space to look for what was now contraband.

“Come on! If you are going to keep me here at least don’t go invading my privacy like this!”

Much to your embarrassment you actually cried a bit as the large man went through all your things.

He started by removing your pistols from your weapon’s display case. Your Beretta M9, your SIG Sauer P320, you… dear god no… not your baby, not your Magnum Research BFR!

You thrashed more as you saw him take that one.

Then he moved on to your bookshelf. He took out your religious text from the shelf.

“Hey, keep your grubby mitts off of that! It’s sacred!”

“Yeah, Red, don’t you think you should focus o-”

He opened it revealing that it had been cut out and housed one of your many sidearms.

“Of course,” Ace said flatly.

When Red finished with all your pistols he moved on to the ones mounted on your wall. Your Mauser M 98, your Browning BLR, and your little Marlin 70PSS.

The rest of the search was much the same. All but one had been found. Red had to get a second bag for them all. The ones in your desk, under your bed, and the one in your mattress.

Well at least they hadn’t found your most precious gun-child…

“Okay I think I got them all. Nowhere else to search. Be truthful, did I miss any?”

You wiped the tears out of your eyes and lied convincingly. You tried to look as defeated as you could.

“No”

Ace moved the two of you out of the way so Red could take your weaponry to the armory. As he started to leave the room he noticed his footsteps sounded odd in one place.

He pressed his large foot down in the spot a few times, narrowing his eyes.

Fuck.

He bent down and realized he could remove the floor board under the rug in that spot.

He found it, the bag unzipped and your M1 Garand joined the rest of your firearms.

“NOOOO!!! That one is my favorite! It PINGS when you use it!”

Now you were truly defeated, they had gotten every single one of them…

“Holy fuck, how many did you need??”

Ace joined in.

“Yeah that’s all a bit… much…”

“If your only offensive power came from guns then you would make sure to have one near you at all times in case of infiltration or emergencies…”

Ace sighed and let you return to your bed in peace. Or what peace could be had in your glorified prison.

Later in the evening they knocked on your door.

“Hey, we made your favorite food for dinner! And made your favorite dessert too…”

That was Red, you could hear the nervousness in his voice. He knew you would hate him now. You ignored them.

“Come on, don't be like this, you have to eat!”

And that was Ace, insisting that not complying with his psychopathic behavior was childish.

You opened the door and took the food tray. Both of them smiled.

“There, see? We can all still get along. We worked very hard on that meal for you!”

You were sure that they had, they were both skilled cooks. You stared at them expressionless and slammed the tray into their faces before slamming the door.

Ace looked furious but Red held him back.

“Come on Ace… they just need to adjust…”

But you refused to adjust. You ate only when they were out of the house. As the days went by you didn’t speak a single solitary word to either of them, you may as well have been a ghost.

Well… it would have been. Had you not been doing your best to make them the two most miserable men on the planet. You destroyed all the toilet paper, clogging every toilet in the base with it, you destroyed the fridge twice, you broke the TV, tore the couch, the robotic arms stopped you, of course, but you could manage to do a bit of damage each time before it stopped you.

Even Red was getting annoyed with your behavior.

They had both tried everything to get you to behave. Punishments ranging from not eating anything but flavorless oatmeal for days to being forced to sleep in a bed with one of them so they could make sure you didn’t cause any destruction while they slept.

Finally they had had enough, things could not continue on like this and it seemed like you may never open your eyes and see that they were just trying to keep you safe. Without them you’d have ran right into the jaws of danger.

They discussed it among themselves and had one more idea. You needed to feel loved in every possible way. They loved you so much after all, that’s what all this had been about, to protect you because they cared for you. But clearly they needed to step things up a notch or ten.

When they came home that day they barged into your room and grabbed you, taking you kicking and screaming into one of the many spare rooms the base had.

They had outfitted it with a huge bed, the walls painted your favorite color, fresh roses filled a heart shaped vase on the nightstand.

“Let go of me! What did you drag me here just to give me a newer bigger room? A prison is still a prison…���

“It’s going to be…” Red started.

“Our love… nest…” Ace finished, blush evident on his face.

“No thanks. Fucking weirdos.”

“Come on, sex is known to alleviate one’s mood!”

“Yeah, just give it a chance”

Ace smashed his lips into yours and kissed you deeply, you looked at him stunned.

They were serious… You wanted to wretch… Fervently you struggled, trying to get out of Red’s grip but he handed you off to Ace who wrapped his wing around you and led you to the bed.

They took your clothing off before moving on to your own. All of you had scars due to combat and training, and you had seen them nude in the showers before, but this was different. For the first time you felt vulnerable and scared under their combined gaze.

You covered your genitals but they each removed and held one arm so they could appreciate the view. “Come on, don’t be like that. Nothing we haven’t seen before,” Ace whispered as he spread your legs apart.

“Red, did you bring the lube?”

“Yeah, right here.”

Red opened a bottle and lathered both of their growing cocks so that they were drenched with the stuff and then pressed some to your hole and massaged it in. They had no intention of letting this be a painful experience for you. They wanted to show how much they cared about you.

You tried to clench. To close yourself off from them. But the probing fingers would not be denied. You squirmed uncomfortably at the sensation of cold lube being worked into you.

“Try to relax, it will be much better if you embrace us.”

“FUCK YO-”

Red cut you off with a kiss. You tried to bite his tongue but his tongue was no more vulnerable than the rest of his body.

Two sets of hand roamed and pet, and groped your body. Gently caressing you as Red made out with you. When they felt as if they had explored every part of your body they flipped you on to your belly, with Red on his knees in front of you. His crotch level with your face.

Ace was behind you on his knees between your legs, holding them still as he wedged himself closer to your entrance, until the tip of his cock was kissing it.

You couldn’t kick because he had control of your legs. You couldn’t punch because Red had your arms pinned. Now they just had to plug your bratty mouth and you wouldn’t have any means of protest. Verbal or otherwise.

They knew you’d try to bite so Red took your mouth, claiming it with his cock. You tried to move and turn away but once Ace sank his cock into your sensitive depths you gasped in surprise so Red took the chance to put his cock in your soft mouth. He did not go in balls deep, neither of them had yet. They wanted you to enjoy it. To relax. Not worry about being hurt or gagged.

Red humped into your mouth carefully and slowly while Ace did the same behind you.

“Damn, for someone so opposed to it you fit me so well.”

Then Ace added, “Your mouth feels amazing babe. He used his thumb to draw lazy circles into your arms where he held them down. He sighed in pleasure when he felt the pleasured moans Ace was coaxing out of you. Much to your dismay.

But you couldn’t deny that it felt nice. Your body relaxed, just a bit, as the men slowly bred a bit of the stress you had been under out of it.

Now that it seemed that you were enjoying yourself, even though reluctantly, Ace decided he could speed up just a bit, rolling his hips as his cock dug further into you.

Red was going a bit faster too now that you had acclimated and stopped trying to resist so hard. He let your arms go, sure that you had finally realized how silly fighting was. The large man stroked your cheek as he continued thrusting into those sweet lips.

Ace was the first to cum, his wings outstretching fully and deep voice gasping as his large nuts filled you with wave after wave of his seed. His large cock twitched inside of you, pushing you over the edge and into your own orgasm.

Feeling all your muffled cries of pleasure right in his prick caused Red to start cumming. He pulled out, not wanting to choke you on his copious amount of semen that he knew all super soldiers produced in spades, instead cumming all over your face.

Ace pulled out of you and was the first to speak.

“There, that wasn’t so bad, was it?”

You didn’t respond, you were still panting from the workout you had just received. You didn’t protest when Ace pulled you into his lap and held you with your head nestled into his chest. Your head laying right on his hawk tattoo. You didn’t protest when red scooted beside him and kissed you tenderly on the forehead. You even let them clean you up and feed you your favorite meal that they diligently cooked for you while you waited politely on the couch. They figured your resistance to them before was just because you had needs that weren’t getting met.

And from that day forward they knew that anytime you got too snarky or rebellious all they had to do was make time to fuck the brattiness out of you.

[kjupchurch-xx]

Intoxicated

March 16th, 2009

Today was my 21st birthday. My friend had set me up on a blind date with an actor, but didn't tell me who. She figured this would be the perfect scenario considering the hell I'd went through last Summer with a guy that was probably the biggest piece of shit on the planet. I haven't dated or been intimate with anyone since then, nor did I really have any interest in being. 

I looked over at her, "What is this guy even like?" I asked, finishing up curling my hair. 

She smiled, "He's tall, he's nice, he's super sexy and he's not American, if that gives you any hints." 

I shrugged as I sat my curling iron down, starting to put my eyeliner on, "It doesn't. But I mean, is this even someone I'd be remotely interested in?" I asked her, giving her a questioning look. 

She chuckled, "I'm positive you'll be thanking me by the end of the night." 

I rolled my eyes, "So he's an actor?" 

She nodded, bringing me a pair of ripped bell bottom jeans, "Yes. A very talented actor." 

I quickly changed into the jeans, "Is he anyone I know?" 

She walked to my living room, grabbing my keys to bring me, "Ummm... He's in that movie we watched when we were teenagers. I think it's called Swordfish or something like that." 

I gave her a questioning look, "Did you set me up with John Travolta?" 

She covered her mouth laughing, "You'll just have to wait and see. I'm not telling you anything!" 

She probably set me up with one of the extras, someone I most likely wouldn't even remember ever being in the movie. She knows I hate surprises, but I appreciate her for trying, even though the last blind date she set me up on was a complete and total dud. 

She clapped her hands at me, "Go! You were supposed to leave 5 minutes ago! He's going to meet you at RH Rooftop." She yelled. 

I grabbed my phone, made sure I had my keys and looked at her before heading out the door to our apartment, "I swear, if this is another dud, I'm going to kill you." 

She rolled her eyes, "I promise, it's not a dud. Just go." 

I rolled my eyes, closing the door behind me as I made my way down the hall, towards the elevator, then to my car in the parking garage. While making the drive to the restaurant, I'll tell you a bit about myself... I'm a Southern Belle, originally from South Carolina. I moved to NYC after obtaining a degree in journalism. I didn't have many opportunities in my small town, so I decided to move to a bigger city in hopes of pursuing a career as a reporter. I've been serving as an intern for a local publishing company, which has gone well for the most part. 

Callie and I are roommates. She also moved here for journalism, but moved here from Arizona. We met while working part-time at a coffee cafe and became roommates since the cost of living in NYC is astronomically high. She took a different career path, as a model which caused her to meet many different celebrities.She'd tried getting me into modeling with her, but it wasn't my thing. We shared a dog, Harley, who was a beautiful French Bulldog, that was treated as if he were our love child. 

As I arrived and finally found parking for RH Rooftop, I realized I was 10 minutes late. I quickly turned my car off and sprinted towards the entrance. I don't even know who I'm looking for or how to spot this dude. I approached the hostess stand, looking nervous as I skimmed the crowd of dinners wondering who Callie had set me up with. 

The hostess noticed me, "May I help you with something?" She asked kindly. 

I nodded, "Ummm... I"m here with a guy, but I'm unsure of where he's sitting. He's not American and is very tall. He's also an actor." I stammered, knowing I must sound insane. 

She giggled, "Can you tell me his name?" 

I pursed my lips, "Not really. I'm on a blind date, so I have no idea what his name is...or who he is." I chuckled nervously, scratching the back of my neck. 

She smiled, "Okay, I think I know who you're referring to. He told us he was expecting a blind date. Follow me." She said, grabbing a menu and leading me to the rooftop entrance. 

I followed behind, still curious as to who this would be. I'd probably shit a brick if it were John Travolta, but I'm pretty sure he's off the market. There was that computer hacker dude that was pretty hot too. As we reached the rooftop tables, she led me to a dark haired man that had his back towards the entrance. I couldn't make out who he was just yet and considering that was an older movie, I doubt I'd recognize him from the movie from the back. 

He stood as he heard us approach and pulled my chair out, turning to face me, "You must be my date." He said with a smile, extending his hand to shake mine, "I'm Hugh." He said casually. 

It was the computer hacker dude, and shit, did he look good. Even 8 years later, he still looked good. 

I smiled, shaking his hand, "I am, I'm Kaitlyn." I said as I took my seat. He gave me another smile before going back to his seat across from me. 

"How're you doing, love?" He asks, smiling at me, keeping his elbows off the table. Hm, a real gentleman. 

I chuckled at his flattery, already calling me a pet name. "I'm doing good, everything's going great for me at the moment. How's things going for you?" 

He shifted, "I just wrapped up filming an origin movie for a character I've played for the last 9 years, I'm finally on a much needed break and no longer on a strict regime for my character, which I'm fully intending on breaking tonight with a milkshake." 

I giggled, "I see." I said as the waiter approached us. He was a young man who was obviously infatuated with my date. 

"Holy s-, I mean, I'm so sorry-" He stammered as Hugh began cracking up, "It's quite alright, mate." He said to the young man. 

The man smiled, "Mr. Jackman, I'm sorry. Wolverine is my all-time favorite X-Men character." Hugh smiled, "Can I please get a picture with you? I swear I'll keep it professional after." He asked.

Hugh laughed, "Sure thing, mate. I'm sorry, love, but do you mind helping our waiter out with a picture?" He asked, almost embarrassingly. 

I chuckled, "I don't mind." The waiter smiled, handing me his cell phone as Hugh got up to stand beside him, making a Wolverine pose as if he had retractable claws. 

He pat the man on the back and sat back across from me, "Thank you so much, Mr. Jackman. And thank you for taking the picture. My name is William. What can I start you guys off with to drink?" He asked. 

Hugh and I looked at each other, "I think I'll take a martini." I said, flipping through the bar menu. "No problem, William. I'll take a martini, and also, a chocolate milkshake. Large, William." 

I giggled at his serious tone making sure William understood Hugh wanted a large. "Coming right up, are there any appetizers you guys want to start with?" William asked before walking off as we both shook our heads. 

Hugh looked up at me, damn was he sexy, "So, tell me about you." He said, smirking. 

I pursed my lips wondering what to tell, "Hmm, let's see... I have a Frenchie, his name is Harley. I'm an intern for a local business. I have a degree in journalism. I moved here from South Carolina after graduating college for a better chance of a career in journalism." 

He nodded, taking my words in, "I've always wanted a French Bulldog. I also have a degree in journalism. I moved here from Australia many years ago, but I moved for X-Men." He said, forcing his accent deeper as he mentioned being from Australia. 

I chuckled, "You do have a very sexy accent. I actually didn't know you weren't American because your American accent is so convincing." 

He smirked, "I happen to think your accent is sexy too." He said flirtatiously, making me blush.

I laughed, "I literally sound like cornbread, stop." 

He laughed, "You do not. Even if you did, cornbread tastes good." 

Our waiter returned with our drinks and Hugh's large milkshake, and proceeded to take our order. I reached for the menus, but Hugh swiped them from me, handing them to our server. 

He winked at me, "Gotta be quicker than that, beautiful." 

I playfully rolled my eyes, "Tell me more about you." I said, resting my chin on my hands, giving him my undivided attention. 

He smiled, "What do you wanna know?" He asked flirtatiously. 

I shrugged, "Everything." 

He chuckled, "For starters, I have two children, Ava and Oscar. They are 4 and 9. I play cricket. I enjoy singing. Every year, I go back to Australia and do the polar plunge. I'm recently divorced. Anything else you want to know?" 

I smirked, "Have you been with anyone since the divorce?" 

He looked at, surprised at my question, but smiled, "No, no I haven't. I haven't been with anyone besides her since 1995." 

I bit my lip, raising my brow with a giggle, "So you're not a douche bag then, noted."

He smiled sweetly, "No, I'm not a douche bag." He said softly. 

I shifted in my seat, taking a sip from my martini, "What are you hoping to come from this?"  

He shrugged, "I really don't know, love. I have no expectations, whatever happens, happens. What about you?" He asks, his eyes burning through me, almost with a lust. 

I smirked, "I kind of go with the flow. Whatever happens, happens." 

He bit his lip, "I like that." 

As the night went on, we ate our food and drank a few martinis. Both of us, feeling a little tipsy and beginning to ask risque questions as he moved his chair to my side of the table, now beside me. 

"So tell me, what are some of your turn-ons?" I asked with a smirk, sipping my 3rd martini.

His one hand moved to my thigh under the table, "Does it count if I say you?" He smirked, looking me in the eyes. 

I bit my lip, "Do you want to um...get out of here?" I asked him quietly. 

He grabbed my hand, "C'mon, love." and began leading me towards the entrance of the rooftop bar to head back downstairs and to the sidewalk. "Let's go to my car." He said, leading me to an SUV.

As we got to the car, he rushed towards the backseat, opening the door, motioning for me to climb in. I climbed in, sliding to the other end as he quickly slid in beside me, shutting the door and pulling me onto his lap, slamming his lips against mine as he roughly gripped my hips.  I felt him begin pushing his hips upwards, grinding into me as I reached behind us, positioning myself upwards, tugging at his belt. 

"Take this off..." I muttered against his lips as he bit my bottom lip, I pulled away and slid my top off as he helped me, tossing it into the seat beside us, leaving me in my bra and jeans. I slid off of him to remove my jeans and underwear as he undid his belt and jeans, his hard dick exposed. 

"Come here." He said, almost demanding, as he grabbed my arm, bringing my lips back to his as I straddled his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck as I lowered myself down onto him, taking every inch. 

He moaned against my lips, "Fuck, you're tight." He said lowly as he sucked on my bottom lip, nibbling at it. 

I began bouncing up and down, roughly, my moans filling the car. I felt him reach up and grab my breasts, that were covered by my bra, squeezing them. "Shit, your cock feels so good inside me." I cried out. 

He pushed my bra down, exposing my breasts as he popped one of my nipples into my mouth, nibbling at it and sucking as he started thrusting his hips up to meet mine. "Oh fuck!" I yelled as he moved his hands to my hips and started thrusting hard into me. 

"We gotta be quick, we're in a parking lot." He chuckled as he began moaning again. 

I could feel my orgasm coming, I grabbed his chin, forcing his face back to mine, crashing my lips onto his. "Cum for me, baby." He said huskily, moving his lips down to my neck, sucking and biting softly. 

I felt my eyes practically roll back into my head as I let myself go, my juices flowing down his throbbing cock as he spilled his load inside me. 

"Second date?" He asked, out of breath, laughing. 

I nodded, catching my breath, "Definitely."  

[reidsaurora]

Your event is so cute!!! Could I get a sun kissed Malibu dream house with Aaron?? 🥹 in need of some fluff with him hehe

i am so so sorry this took me so long to write! writer's block these past few months has been kicking my butt. but, thanks to my awesome betas, i think i wrote something you'll like! hope you enjoy!

"Summer Lovin" ~ A. Hotchner

Summary: As the start of summer arrives, you and your friends at the BAU find yourselves feeling a bit reminiscent of the summers before. Along with that reminiscence, you start to miss the days when you and Aaron had little babies instead of big kids…

Pairing: Dad!Aaron Hotchner x Mom!Reader

Word Count: 2,019

Content Warning: lots of talk of babies/pregnancy, sexual humor, kind of fade to black smut if you read between the lines lol, small mention of food, lmk if i missed anything!

Extra Notes: i'm so sorry this took so long, i had a very hard time writing this and def meant to post it sooner. however, in the spirit of my city being under a heat advisory today, this feels appropriate to post 😂

Originally Written: 06/04/2024 through 06/25/2024

Beta Read By: @dungeons-are-too-cold and @virtual-vivi 🫶🏻🩷

Criminal Minds masterlist can be found here!

Summer Celebration info can be found here!

Sun Kissed - fluff requests

Malibu Dream House - domestic!au

Aaron tossed off the blanket, letting out a small sigh of relief. “When did it get so hot?” he grumbled, his morning voice prominent. As he rolled over to his back, you spotted a big wet spot on the front of his tee shirt from just how much he was sweating.

Still, you scooted closer to him anyway and tossed an arm over his abdomen, his familiar scent filling your senses. “News said there’d be an excessive heat wave today.”

“It's probably ninety degrees already,” he complained, “and it's not even 9:00 yet.”

Rolling onto your side to face him, you left a trail of kisses along his jawline. “Hey, Mr. Grumpy Gills,” you giggled, referencing one of your kids’ favorite movies. “When life gets you down, you know what you gotta do?”

“It's sweltering! How in the world could you possibly want to cuddle right now?” Aaron ignored your attempt to brighten the mood, instead opting to toss a pillow over his head and groan into it.

You just pulled the pillow away and left another peck on his jaw. “Because I love you. And because our children are gonna come in here any minute to take you away from me.”

He noticed the small pout that followed your statement, the expression enough to soften even Aaron Hotchner, king of stoicism, up. “Alright, fine. I'll allow it. But only because you drive a hard bargain.”

Your pout was replaced with a smirk as you snuggled closer into his side. “Mmm, that means a lot, coming from an ex-prosecutor. Maybe I should've gone to law school with you.”

“You're too sensitive for the big house, or whatever they say,” Aaron snickered. After noticing your look of offense, he quickly covered with, “I didn't mean it in a bad way. You have feelings. It's a very nice thing to come home to after dealing with emotionless psychopaths all day.”

“I think you're trying to compliment me. I'll take it.”

His lips met yours for a quick peck before saying, “I have nothing but compliments for you, my love,” Then, he met you with a second, much longer kiss, and while he tasted like morning breath, moments like this were so rare that you were willing to look past it.

One of his large hands met your leg, his calloused fingertips trailing along your bare skin. It felt like a lifetime since you'd been like this, with two children always needing your attention and the FBI always needing Aaron's. Just a simple touch of his fingers had you forgetting about the outside world, if even for just a moment.

Your lips met his neck, his stubble scratchy against your skin. He'd been away on a case in Seattle for about a week, and you were certain he hadn't shaved the whole trip. You liked it that way anyway.

His hand traveled further up under your nightgown, settling on your thigh. He squeezed the supple skin, a gesture of both affection and want.

“Are you trying to go for number three?” you joked before kissing his neck once more.

“Believe me,” Aaron chuckled, “if I knew I had enough time, I'd certainly try.”

As if on cue, four scurrying feet came stamping across the hardwood floor into your bedroom. “Good morning, Daddy!” both of your children yelled in sync, climbing onto the edge of the bed.

“That's why you're not allowed a third,” you mumbled into his ear. “The ones you have don't even appreciate me.”

“They love you, I promise,” he whispered, kissing your cheek. To the kids, he said, “Good morning. Don't you have anything else you want to say?”

They both turned to you, sheepish looks coming across their tiny, adorable faces. “Good morning, Mommy.”

“That's better,” Aaron said, gaining him a snicker from you. “Now, may I ask why the two of you are up so early and you're already in your swimsuits?”

It was then that you realized he was right. Jack, the older of your children, was sporting his favorite Spiderman swim trunks, while his little sister, Libby, had managed to dress herself in a cherry-print swimsuit she hadn't quite grown into yet. They made your heart melt.

“Daddy,” Libby sighed, clearly exasperated with her father, “don't you know what day it is?”

It happened to be the day your kids hadn't stopped talking about for weeks: the beginning-of-summer pool party you and Aaron threw every year for your friends and his coworkers at the BAU.

Aaron tapped a finger against his chin, his brows furrowing as he thought. “Let's see… it's not Libby’s birthday, and it's not Jack’s birthday, it's not my birthday, and I don't think it's your mom’s birthday,” his last comment earned him a sarcastic look from you. “Hmm, what day could it be?”

You joined in on his little game, tapping against your chin as you pretended to think. “Perhaps it's Christmas?”

Jack narrowed his eyes at you. “It's too early in the year for Christmas,” he said matter-of-factly.

“You're right.” As you continued tapping your finger, you shot Aaron a knowing look, which he gladly returned. He could tell by the gleam in your eye exactly what you meant with that look. “Is it…”

Each of you grabbed a kid, tickling and eliciting little squeals and giggles. “Pool party day?!” the two of you shouted in sync.

Libby thrashed around in your arms, laughing and squirming, while Jack attempted to escape his father's arms. Moments like these were almost as rare as the ones with just you and Aaron, so you had to take advantage of them while you could.

“It's pool party day!” Libby squeaked, while Jack was laughing so hard, he could barely breathe.

Their smiles and laughs pulled at your heartstrings. You wondered when the universe decided to make your babies grow up, since it seemed like only yesterday when you had a newborn and a two-year-old.

Bringing yourself out of your nostalgic trance, you pulled yourself out of the bed, grabbing each kid by the hand. “Who wants to make pancakes while Daddy’s in the shower?”

—

Soon enough, all your friends had arrived and it felt like summer had too. Penelope and Spencer were currently entertaining all the kids, while the other men were crowded around the grill and the rest of the ladies were sitting poolside and working on their tans.

“You ever wonder if either of them will have kids?” JJ asked, nodding toward Penelope and Spencer.

“Spencer, a hundred percent,” Emily answered, like her statement was a fact. “Penelope, I'm not so sure.”

You were next to jump into the conversation, not even bothering to look up from your magazine. “Why do you ask, Jen?”

JJ let out a longing sigh. “It's been so long since we've had a baby around here.”

Putting the magazine down, you looked over to her, eyebrows creased. “Henry's only three. It hasn't been that long.”

“You don't miss having a baby at our get-togethers? Emily, where do you stand?”

“Don’t look at me,” Emily said with wide eyes. “If I didn't have to change another diaper for a lifetime, it still wouldn't be long enough.” She was the one person in the group that was rather indifferent to children, but babies, she'd rather not talk about or be around.

“Yeah, babies are nice,” you said, “but the pregnancy part? That's what I'd rather go a lifetime without.”

“Well, I'm sure there's one thing we can all agree on,” JJ snickered. “At least making the baby is fun.”

Emily tossed the pillow behind her back in the direction of her coworker, giggling all the while. “Jennifer!”

“What?” she laughed as she swatted the pillow away. “Am I wrong?”

You let out a small snicker yourself, shooting a glance in the direction of your husband, who was currently taking his turn in manning the grill.

Neither of your friends missed that look, both their mouths falling agape at the expression. “Spill!” they squealed in sync.

Penelope made her way over from the edge of the pool, her face overtaken by the brightest smile known to mankind. “I heard the ‘Someone has beans to spill’ variety of squeals and giggles. What am I missing?”

“Nothing,” you insisted with an eye roll.

Emily patted the edge of her chaise, welcoming Penelope over. “Come sit, we're gonna get it out of her. After all, two out of three of us are profilers.”

Your eyes narrowed at the brunette. “Do you forget that I also used to be a profiler before my kids came along?”

“Stop changing the subject,” Penelope said with a swat of her hand. “Spill your guts. What did I miss?”

“Well, we were talking about how it's been so long since anyone on the team, past or present, has had a kid,” Jennifer explained.

“And someone looked at her husband with that look,” Emily further explained.

You scoffed. “It was not that look.”

“It totally was,” your friends spoke in sync.

Penelope's face lit up like a child in a candy store, her mind clearly running rampant with ideas of what the look meant. “Oh my God, are you-”

“No!” you quickly interrupted, knowing exactly where that question was headed. “Not yet anyway,” you mumbled under your breath.

The three of them practically jumped out of their seats and gathered around you, all screams and smiles.

“We haven't even had the conversation yet!”

“But you're going to!” Penelope insisted.

You rolled your eyes, but internally, you couldn't be happier for the gift of friendship from these three women. Jennifer, the mom friend in more ways than one. Emily, the voice of reason who not-so-secretly had a funny side and always knew how to make you laugh. And Penelope, the perfect shoulder to cry on and perfect soul to confide in. Lucky didn't even begin to describe how you felt about knowing these women.

Suddenly, you found yourself— as Penelope had said— spilling your guts. “I don't know. This morning just felt… different. Like, maybe it wouldn't be so bad to have another baby around.”

The three of them flooded you with comments of love and support, hugs wrapping around you from each direction. Having another baby would be different, of course, but your friends were making sure that you knew it would be a good kind of different.

“I still have to get Aaron on board, so no one get too excited,” you reminded them.

JJ was already way ahead of you. “We've got the kids, Rossi and Derek have the grill. Don't worry about anything out here. You and your man deserve a moment of free time.”

“Just so we're clear,” you said, pointing a finger as if to further prove your point, “we are just going to talk. No funny business.”

Emily snickered. “Yeah, the same way you guys used to ‘talk’ on the jet?” Your cheeks heated to a bright red shade at her comment.

“Ew, Hotch is in the mile high club?!” Penelope practically screamed. Luckily, everyone else seemed too engrossed in conversation to hear her, but you were still mortified nonetheless.

“Okay, scratch what I said. I'm actually going inside to give myself a lobotomy.”

And with that, your friends were shouting in sync different variations of “Have fun!”

Then, with a smile on your face from both the joy of friendship and the love you had for your husband, you found yourself heading over to the grill and pulling Aaron away. His reaction was nothing short of laughter as you practically dragged him toward the house, his shirt nearly coming off with how hard you were tugging it.

Lips met skin as you closed the back door behind you. Aaron let out another chuckle, though he surely wasn't protesting your affection. “Woah, that look in your eyes tells me you're the one thinking about number three,” he commented, referencing your words from that morning.

“Well,” you said as your fingers started to trail under the hem of his dark gray tee shirt. With another kiss to his neck, you continued, “About that…”

taglist: @1234-angelika @lowsodiumfreaks67 @drayshadow @alexxavicry @cordyandbilliehavemyheart @the-lucky-ones311 @mercuryvapours @darkloverfox @sammyrenae68 @cherrycandle @asgardprincess97 @gh0stgurl @esposadomd @randomwriter1021 @eddieharrington @paintlavillered @lavhoes @rhyanishere @danielle143 @handsupforamiracle @ah-blossom @reidselle @dungeons-are-too-cold @louderfortheback @reidsbookclub @cwritesforfun @lover-of-books-and-tea

[tossawary]

The 3-day trial system in "Ace Attorney" is absolutely nuts. I know the game is intentionally making fun of corrupt & dysfunctional legal systems and is also upping the pacing to create a sense of urgency & excitement, but I truly underestimated just how hysterically funny it would be to play this trial system. They have created some WILD logistical worldbuilding.

Like, someone gets murdered on Day 1. Phoenix Wright finds out about this on Day 2 and goes to talk to them. This person has less than 24 hours to find their own legal representation before a public defender is assigned to them, and Phoenix has to do his own investigating before the trial tomorrow morning. Day 3 is the first day of the trial, in which Phoenix is doing everything he can to prove innocence and somehow also solve the actual murder in the middle of court, and hopefully at least get the Judge to agree that they need another day of investigation and interrogation. There's an in-universe rule that a trial can only go for 3 days, so by Day 5, the third day of the trial, this nonsense needs to be wrapped up. The first game doesn't explicitly say that this is a death penalty system, but it's heavily implied at points, so depending on the case, Phoenix has THREE DAYS to potentially SAVE SOMEONE'S LIFE.

And this is all hilariously, horribly BONKERS for Phoenix, but it's just as awful when you start getting into all the little bureaucratic details of trying to make this legal system actually work. A public defender might get a case at 5 PM for a murder trial at 10 AM the next morning?! (I know public defenders are often horribly overworked IRL. This is part of what the game is mocking.) Autopsies are being performed within, like, 12 hours of the murder?! They're getting results back from the forensics labs within 24 hours?! How much of the city budget is SPENT on law enforcement?! The overtime hours must be horrifying. No wonder things are constantly falling through the cracks; people are fucked if their defense attorneys are on vacation that day or if the witnesses aren't answering their phones that day.

And, also, like, did the courthouse not have OTHER trials scheduled for that day? Are they reserving a courtroom in this courthouse for emergency murder cases? Even if there's a 3-day limit to speed things up, it's a big city, shit happens, how are they seeing people this quickly? Are there just separate courthouses for all crimes below various degrees of murder? (Obviously, family law and small claims and minor crimes and such must be handled somewhere else, but still.) Or are people in Japanifornia getting last minute calls from the overworked scheduling people at the courthouse like, "Hi, witness for an assault trial, your testimony has been rescheduled because someone was murdered last night. This could take 1-3 days. We'll let you know." Then that poor witness is like, "Shit, I took a day off of work for this??? I have to call my boss again now. Fuck you!!!"

It's tempting to write an AA fic about a series of murders in this world, in which people are obviously being framed for these crimes but it's not clear who the real murderer is, because this is all happening to keep postponing a different trial, because murder cases apparently go to trial immediately in the AA universe as #1 priority. Someone needs this extra time to steal the evidence from the police station and frame someone else for their crime, because if this postponed trial goes to court, then a different, older, unsolved murder is sure to come to light.

This features a public defender OC who is... the most exhausted person... of all time... trying to hold the line of human rights. The burnout rate must be horrifying.

[laurenairay]

I can't help it if I like it - M. Martin

Summary: Dhara Nicholls is just trying to make ends meet while working on her Masters degree. Enter Matt Martin.

This is my entry for @wyattjohnston’s summer fic exchange 2k24! My giftee is @comphy-and-cozy and I hope I incorporated everything we discussed. This is the second longest fic I’ve ever written on here and I had genuinely so much fun writing it! Definitely written with a lot of creative license, not only because Matt and Sydney are couple goals, but also because I completely fudged the season dates. I also modelled Dhara’s degree and work after one of my best friends, and her Sikh faith after another friend, so it is as accurate as I could make it without experiencing it all myself.

I hope you enjoy it C! And thank you to Demi for reading through the first half of this monster!

Words: 13.7k

Warnings: age gap, flirting, pining, extremely slow burn, implied intimate moment, some bad language, changed names of Matt’s irl wife and children

Title from Shotput by Still Woozy Lyrics used from Middle of the Night by Elley Duhé

~

Waiter/Waitress…

Bartender…

Tutor…

Barista…

Cashier…

Of all the things to leave to the last minute. Dhara usually prided herself on her organisational skills, but with her summer internship taking up most of the past couple of months, finding a part-time job to give her disposable income (and food, for that matter) for the final year of her postgraduate degree had slipped her mind. Rents had gone up quite significantly in the past few months, so anything extra she had last year was pouring directly into paying for her tiny apartment, and she needed to eat, damn it.

Unfortunately, now that it was already August, there was nothing truly suitable. She needed flexible hours, that was for sure – some of her data modelling work couldn’t just be stopped in the middle of a good coding flow to pick up a shift at a bar. And some of her classes were online this final year, so she wouldn’t find it as easy to travel back and forth to a job on campus. Tutoring could potentially work but it would involve a fair amount of planning and structure that she wasn’t sure she could commit to.

This was the worst timing. And she’d sworn to herself that she wouldn’t ask her parents for help, not when she was so close to finally finishing her education. But what could she do?

“Hey Dhara!”

She turned her head to the side quickly, dark curls whipping over her shoulder, before she smiled. The familiar voice indeed matched one of her former dormmates, Melissa. They had lived on the same floor in freshman year at NYU, but with limited student housing, most of the friends on that floor had gone their separate ways into private renting. She’d lost touch with a few of those girls too, after they graduated from their undergraduate degrees, but those she still kept in touch with had carried on their education like she had – only Melissa and another of their friends Janelle had taken up postgraduate study at Long Island University – Brooklyn though, so it was good to see her familiar face outside of the occasional coffee catch-ups, especially after the long summer break.

“Melissa! Hi! How are you?”

“I’m good, I’m good, glad to be back in the city. How are you? Did you travel back to LA to see your parents in the end?”

“I’m pretty good too, thanks. And no, the internship offer was too good to turn down. My parents went on a few trips by themselves anyway, so it’s not like I missed out on too much time with them,” Dhara shrugged, smiling, “Now I’m just trying to get myself set up for final year.”

She loved her parents – really, she did – but she wasn’t as close to them as she had been growing up. The downfall of choosing to study far away from home. Dhara had barely been back to Los Angeles since she moved to New York when she turned 18, if she was being honest, and her parents valued her independence as well as her dedication to her studies. At least they could rely on video calls to see each other’s faces.

“Oh man, tell me about it. Shitty rent increases, right?” Melissa groaned.

“Exactly!” Dhara laughed, “I’m just trying to find something that’ll let me be flexible so I can graduate to the best of my ability, you know?”

“I know exactly what you mean,” Melissa sighed, smiling sympathetically, “I’ve got a couple of interviews at coffee chains lined up, but the hours are going to be brutal.”

Dhara grimaced. Yeah, there was a reason she wanted to avoid working as a barista unless there was no other option.

“Hey, you like kids, right?”

Dhara raised an eyebrow at her friend’s question. “I…do. I have plenty of cousins who have kids already, if that’s what you mean. Why?”

“A friend of my roommate works for a nannying agency. Completely certified company, really well paid, you can input your available hours into their website so they match you up, and they cater to a lot of wealthy clients. She told me they’re opening their books, but I’m not a huge kids person myself. If you’re interested, I could pass you her details?”

“Wait, really? Just like that?” Dhara asked, surprised.

It almost sounded too good to be true.

“Really really. The agency do background checks and would want to see your resume as well as do an interview with you in person, but I can’t see you getting rejected from this. You’re crazy smart and super competent,” Melissa shrugged, smiling.

Nannying. For a potentially wealthy client. There were a whole host of problems that could come from that, with both the parents and the children, but could the flexibility be worth it?

Then again, what did she have to lose?

“Okay sure, pass me her details and I’ll give your roommate’s friend a call,” Dhara smiled.

She could only hope this worked out in her favour.

~

Time was running out, Matt knew that much. There were only a few weeks before the season started up again, and it was beyond time for him to hire a nanny for his daughter. He’d been a single dad for two years now, his marriage ending mostly amicably. Sure, his ex-wife’s announcement that she was tired of following him around for his career had been hard, but not as hard as her second announcement that she was following her own career abroad. But she’d not contested anything he'd asked of her, and hadn’t made any unreasonable demands herself, so it was as clean as a divorce could be. Being solely responsible for the upbringing of their daughter Sarah was not something he’d been prepared for, not with his lifestyle. He knew he was lucky that his mom had been willing drop everything and move in with him after his wife left them, but it was time to let his mom live her own life – and for him to move on with his.

Hockey was his first love, nothing would change that. But his daughter Sarah had taken over so much of his heart that he was struggling with the idea of hiring a stranger to take care of her when hockey took precedence. But it was time – for all of them. In the end, he’d decided to go through a reputable agency that a few of the guys on the team recommended, but after three unsuccessful interviews Matt was just about ready to beg his mom to stay a little longer.

The first interview had started well. But it had quickly deteriorated when he realised that they weren’t as flexible as he needed. It was fair enough that the nanny wanted set hours – he knew his schedule was all over the place – but he obviously couldn’t offer that, so he wished them well and cut the interview short.

The second interview had started bad and gotten worse. He didn’t know if it was the way the woman smiled at him when he saw the elegant interior of the house or how she spoke of him being a single dad with a wide-eyed pity smile, but he didn’t like the vibes she was sending at all. He didn’t need a nanny that was more interested in him than his daughter. No, just no.

The third interview sounded promising on paper. The candidate had all the right qualifications and experience, but when it came down to processes and how she handled tantrums and tears? No way. He knew Sarah sometimes got upset when he was on long roadtrips – it was only natural – and there was no way he was leaving his daughter with someone who would punish her for showing understandable emotions.

So Matt could only hope that this fourth interview – his last for the day before he gave up and started from scratch – would finally be positive.

Dhara Nicholls.

When he’d first seen the name, he hadn’t known what to expect. Dar-Rah. That was how the agency lady had pronounced it, so he could only hope she was right – the last thing he wanted was to say the nanny’s name wrong out of ignorance. While he would ask for more detail during the interview, he knew the basics about her from the information the agency had sent over. Born and raised in Los Angeles, California, studied BS Computer Science at NYU, went on to study for a Masters in Computer Science at Long Island University – Brooklyn, and was currently in her final year for that. It was the flexibility that he was most intrigued by – and her apparent intelligence. He didn’t care that she didn’t have nannying experience outside of family. If she could take care of his daughter, make sure she was happy and healthy, that’s all that he cared about.

The doorbell rang right on time. Good start.

When he opened the door to greet her, Matt found himself freezing a little. He’d assumed that she wouldn’t be Caucasian based on her first name (as much as he hated assuming anything), but he somehow hadn’t been expecting the sheer beauty of the Indian woman standing in front of him now. At least he assumed she was Indian – and again with those assumptions. He would have to check for sure with some subtle questions because the last thing he wanted to do was act like an ass. But right now, her big beautiful brown eyes, smooth skin, glossy dark curls and sweet hopeful smile had his mind whirling. What was wrong with him?

“Hi! Mr Martin?”

Huh, a typical Valley girl accent. Not what he’d been expecting. Damn assumptions.

“Matt, please. Mr Martin makes me feel like my dad’s standing behind me,” he managed to force out.

The laugh that spilled from her lips sounded like music. He was doomed alright.

“Good to know. Matt it is,” she mused.

“Thanks, Dhara. Please come in,” he said, smiling warmly.

The way she smiled as he said her name let him know he’d said it right. Dar-Rah. Beautiful. No, he needed to be professional about this. He couldn’t let himself be bowled over by a beautiful girl, not when she was (hopefully) going to be employed by him. That wasn’t fair to her. Or to Sarah.

“Can I get you a drink? Water? Coffee?” he offered.

“Water would be great, if you don’t mind,” she nodded.

Matt quickly grabbed her a bottle of water from the fridge, before leading her into the living room, handing her the bottle as they sat down on opposite sofas. She was tall even in flat shoes, maybe 5ft10, and she looked around the room with a smile before her eyes landed on Matt. Captivating.

“Let’s start, shall we?” he said, trying to clear his thoughts.

Right from the get-go, she was impressive. Her upbringing in Los Angeles was very family-orientated, living near her father’s 3 siblings and all their children, her cousins. Her studies alone were remarkable but the way he could tell how passionate she was for her work was the most interesting part of all. He liked that she could be flexible with timings, happy to stay overnight in a guest room during roadtrips, and she was willing to work around her class schedule to even take classes from his house while Sarah was occupied with something she could still keep an eye on. It was more than he could have asked for, if he was being honest. It was all just a bonus that she was warm and genuine on top of it all.

Matt knew what he wanted the conclusion of this interview to be. Dhara was exactly what he’d been looking for, and he knew that Sarah would quickly accept her too. He could only hope that she felt like she’d been a good fit for them too.

“Is there anything else you wanted to know?” she asked.

“I think I have everything I need. I’m not going to lie, this whole process has been a struggle,” Matt admitted, “Trying to figure out who to trust my daughter with is the last thing I thought I’d be doing.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Dhara said softly, smiling sadly at him, “Would you like me to take any preferences back with me to the agency? So the next person is a better fit for you?”

If he hadn’t been convinced about her before, he absolutely was now.

“You don’t need to take feedback to the agency, Dhara. Because I want to offer you the job,” he said, smiling.

Her lips parted slightly in surprise, before a wide grin spread over her face. Somehow the pure joy in her expression made her even more beautiful, if that was even possible.

“Thank you, Mr Martin. Thank you so much!” Dhara said happily.

“You’re welcome. You’re exactly who I was hoping to find for my daughter. And please, call me Matt, remember?” he mused.

“Of course, whatever you want…Matt,” she said, ducking her head slightly to hide what looked like a shy smile.

Whatever you want.

Now that was just dangerous.

~

Dhara felt like she was dreaming. Three days ago, when Matt had actually offered her the job, she’d felt like her head was spinning, and it wasn’t until she had the official contract sorted and signed with the agency that everything started to sink in. He was willing to be as flexible as she needed, in return for her being as flexible as he needed – it was a small price to pay to stay in the guest room when he was away for her to still be able to attend all her classes. The only thing they’d had to negotiate was her one in-person class every two weeks that she couldn’t do online that was outside of Sarah’s Kindergarten hours, which he’d arranged for one of his teammate’s wives to look after Sarah for a couple of hours until she was finished. And wasn’t that a trip, learning who he was. An NHL player. She was really going to be the nanny for an NHL player’s six year old daughter, and she could still complete her degree. Mindblowing. The only thing that was still sort of in the works were the Kindergarten drop offs themselves – she wouldn’t be put on the accepted pick-up person list until after a first week’s trial, just to make sure Sarah was okay with her. It was fair enough, but still nervewracking. Matt apparently had full faith that everything would be fine though, and had already given her all the details. Drop off was between 8.30am and 9am, and pick up was at 2.30pm – Matt was happy for her to work from his house on the days she didn’t have to go into campus, to save travelling back and forth, which she was absolutely going to take him up on.  It almost felt too good to be true, that everything was working out the way it was, but she wasn’t going to let such a good opportunity to balance work and her degree slip through her fingers.

When Dhara arrived at Matt’s house, having been given a brief introduction to Sarah before Sarah excused herself to the living room, she tried not to let the nerves get to her. Matt looked lighter, like a weight had been taken off his shoulders, and she could only hope it was partly to do with her. He might be nearly 10 years older than her, but he was one of the most handsome men she’d ever laid eyes on, that was for sure. Not that she’d ever tell her new employer these completely inappropriate thoughts of course.

“Now, I have some meetings and final pre-season things to film and so on at the rink today. I’m hoping it’ll all be done in a few hours but it’ll be a good little start for Sarah to get used to me and my mom not being around. I’ve already explained everything to her, and I think she understands the concept of a nanny and that it was time for grandma to get back to her own life in Canada, but if there are any major issues then please call me,” he said seriously.

“I’m sure everything will be fine, especially if you’ve already talked with her, but I absolutely will call you if Sarah needs you. And please don’t rush home? You deserve to spend some time catching up with your friends. Team bonding, and all that, especially if someone suggests lunch. Sarah and I will be fine, I promise,” Dhara said firmly, but with a smile she hoped was encouraging.

Matt let out a shaky breath but nodded, and her heart ached for him. She could tell how much this was affecting him – it was obvious – but the whole reason for her being here was to make his life easier. She could do that, she knew it.

“Sarah, I’m going to the rink!”

She smiled to herself at the sound of fast-paced walking (not running inside the house was clearly a rule) and soon enough Sarah was clinging to her dad’s legs.

“Be nice to Dhara,” Matt said, smiling warmly.

“I’m always nice!” she said, pouting.

He just ruffled her blonde hair, nodding to Dhara with a shaky smile, giving Sarah one last hug before leaving the house. This was it – Dhara was officially responsible for the wellbeing of a child.

“I’m going back to colouring. You can come if you want.”

How generous. Dhara grinned to herself at the young girl’s candour, following her quietly through the house back to the living room where Sarah had a small stack of paper and colouring pencils laid out. Sarah seemed happy enough to thump back down onto the floor and continue with her drawing, silent but focused, and Dhara watched for a little while from the doorway. The most important thing for today – and the rest of this week – was for Sarah to feel comfortable in her presence. She’d never had any problems getting her cousins’ children to like her, so she could only hope the same gentle methods would work with this child.

Sarah didn’t seem to mind Dhara sitting down next to her, barely giving her a glance, allowing her to settle in quietly. So far so good. After a few minutes of Dhara watching her peacefully, Sarah slid a piece of paper over to Dhara, and looked up at her with blue eyes eerily similar to her father’s.

“I’m drawing a picture for daddy, to make him smile when he gets home,” Sarah said simply.

“That’s very kind of you. I’m sure he’ll love it,” Dhara said, melting on the inside at the sweetness.

Sarah side-eyed her briefly before seeming to deem Dhara’s answer acceptable.

“You should draw him one too. He likes my pictures so I’m sure yours will be fine,” she said, sliding over the colouring pencil box.

Kids. You had to love them.

“I will do my very best then,” Dhara said seriously.

Sarah just nodded, going back to her drawing with all the focus a six-year-old could. Dhara just smiled to herself, picking up a pink crayon to attempt to draw some flowers. This was a good start, right?

~

The first month of Dhara’s employment (and final year of her degree) flew by. Somehow, everything was going well so far. There were no dramas, no big issues, and her classes weren’t unmanageable with her new schedule. She could admit that it initially felt weird to be dropping a kid off at Kindergarten that wasn’t hers, especially so early on into knowing Sarah, but that first big smile her charge had given her at pick-up time made everything better. Like, genuinely her heart felt like it had puffed up in size – yeah that’s right, I made her smile – and everything had only gotten better from there. They’d even settled into a decent routine, to the point where Matt even joked that Dhara was becoming Sarah’s favourite person (apparently her bedtime stories were the best?) – and neither of them had even looked at her like she was crazy when she explained her work for her Computer Science Masters like most people tended to.

(“Daddy she’s so smart.” “I know sweetheart.” “I want to be as smart as Dhara when I grow up!” “Well then you’d better show me the new spellings you learned at Kindergarten today.”)

She’d only needed to stay an extra night in the guest room once so far for a roadtrip, which also felt weird, but Matt’s flight had been delayed so there really wasn’t another choice. Thankfully, he’d been there by the time Sarah woke up, so there had been no major tantrums, but the bedtime tears were still an experience she hoped to avoid as much as possible. After looking at Matt’s schedule, she knew exactly how many roadtrips he was going to be on, so hopefully she could come up with some ideas for what to do if that ever happened again.

There were many things she was learning in this new world of being a nanny.

She knew she’d be learning something new tonight too. It was the first game of the pre-season and Matt was in the line-up to play. Traditionally, Sarah always went, and tonight was no exception. Dhara had been hesitant to accept the ticket initially, content with dropping Sarah off with the WAGs she knew and picking her up at the end,  because she was quite literally just the nanny - but Matt insisted. He also insisted that Sarah wanted her there too, and how was she supposed to say no to that?

The plan would be that Dhara and Sarah would take the train over to the arena with plenty of time to spare ahead of warmups (so Sarah could hold her newly-made poster up against the glass), and then Matt would drive them all back to the Martin house – with the late timings, Dhara would need to stay late again. At least this time she had enough clothes in her overnight bag packed.

Nerves washed over Dhara as she entered the UBS Arena, but with Sarah chattering away, holding tight to her hand, it wasn’t too difficult to cover her nerves with a smile. She’d already met Kristy Cizikas – the teammate’s wife who covered looking after Sarah during Dhara’s class once every two weeks – so she would at least know one friendly face. Sarah led the way to the family suite, Dhara making sure her pass was clearly on display so no-one thought she was a fraud, and soon enough they arrived to a blonde-haired sea.

“Dhara! There you are!”

Kristy. Good.

She was thankful for the instantly-warm welcome – she was so out of her comfort zone that it wasn’t funny. Tonight really was her first time being thrown in at the deep end. At least she’d have a break soon to collect her thoughts when everyone in the suite (who wanted to) would head down to the ice for warm-ups. She could do this. She could totally do this. It helped that Kristy introduced her around the group, Grace Lee in particular making her feel at ease with her beaming smile.

The game itself was electric. Dhara mostly kept her eye on Sarah playing with the other kids in the family suite – you know, as it was her job – but by the start of the third period Sarah had fallen asleep on her lap, leaving her free to watch her first ever game of ice hockey with her full attention. Grace helped her out by murmuring along some of the rules and pointing out names of people that Dhara didn’t know yet, and she just felt herself getting fully entranced. She’d never seen anything so graceful and yet so physical. And the speed!

Dhara felt like a bit of an idiot for gasping when Matt full-body checked a player from the opposing team into the boards with a load crash, immediately throwing his gloves off to fight him, her eyes wide as Matt easily took him down to the ice. Fuck, that was hot. Why was that so hot? She could only thank her dark skin for hiding the worst of her blush as Grace and Kristy smiled knowingly at her. Whatever, they didn’t know anything. They could infer all they liked.

That didn’t mean her eyes stopped tracking Matt every second he was on the ice though.

“How was she tonight? Truly?”

Dhara smiled up at Matt, shifting a sleeping Sarah up on her hip as Matt unlocked the front door.

“She was so good. The way her face lit up when you saw her sign in warmups? She didn’t stop talking about it for ages. And she fell asleep on me during the third period so I just let her nap, I hope that’s okay,” Dhara said.

“Of course it is. I’m happy that she feels comfortable enough to do that around you!” he said, smiling.

She was too. She really was.

“I’ll put Sarah to bed, if you want to sort out your bandage?” she offered.

The cuts on his knuckles from his fight had needed a couple of stitches and would need to be cleaned then covered for at least one night, he’d told her that much on the drive home.

“You’re the best,” Matt said, nodding.

Dhara just grinned and headed up the stairs. It didn’t take her long to carefully lay Sarah down in her bed, pulling off her shoes before tucking the duvet over her. But as she slowly crept out of the room and gently shut the door, she could hear Matt cursing in the bathroom, and she frowned.

“Matt?” she whispered, trying not to wake up her young charge.

He cursed again, so she knocked on the bathroom door, and smiled slightly as he cursed in surprise and slowly opened the door.

“The bandage is caught on the dried blood in the stitch and I can’t get it off. Don’t want to rip it,” he murmured when her head poked around the door.

“Let me?” she offered, slowly walking into the room.

Dhara looked up at him through her lashes, holding her hand out, and Matt silently placed his hand in hers. His skin was warm, if a little callused, and it was all she could do to bite her bottom lip as she gently eased the bandage off his knuckles. Matt didn’t take his hand away as she reached for the cotton ball he’d already dipped in the cleansing liquid, allowing her to gently dab at the stitches until they were clean. The two of them stood close together, silent, only their hands touching, and yet somehow this was more intimate than she’d ever been with any man. It was intoxicating to be allowed to take this level of care with him. It was only when she gently pressed down the edges of the fresh bandage that she caught eyes with him once more, the intense blue making her breath catch in her throat, and she forced herself to break out of the moment.

Because it was a moment, and she didn’t know if it thrilled her or terrified her.

“That should be okay now,” she murmured, finally letting go of his hand.

“Thank you, Dhara. I appreciate it,” he said, voice just as soft.

Intoxicating.

Dhara just smiled, nodding her head as she slipped out of the bubble he’d unknowingly boxed her into, and stepped out of the bathroom with a racing heart. She needed to pull herself together. She needed to pull herself together, fast. Otherwise she was going to run the risk of ruining everything.

~

“So give us the details then.”

Matt took a sip of his beer, before frowning at Casey.

“What are you talking about?”

Casey shared a glance with Anders, who just smirked and shook his head incredulously. What?

“Seriously, what details?” Matt asked.

“About Dhara?” Anders prompted.

“Kristy and Grace told us all about meeting her at the game last week, how she was super sweet with Sarah and how much Sarah adored her. What really caught our attention was that they told us about her reaction to your fight. How her eyes lit up, how she gasped, how she was on the edge of her seat,” Casey said innocently, although the sparkle in his eyes was anything but.

“Shut up, she did not,” Matt grumbled.

Their words lit something inside of his though. It was just typical that they waited to interrogate him until they were all six beers deep at Casey’s house, Kristy and Grace having a girls night slash kids sleepover with some of the other WAGs, including Sarah. They were gossip vultures, the lot of them.

Did she really react like that?

He hadn’t been able to get that night out of his mind. The way Dhara came into the bathroom so carefully, like she was trying not to spook a horse. How she held his hand so gently, her skin surprisingly warm and soft. How her cleaning touch was so light that he’d barely felt it, how her ministrations hadn’t hurt at all. How her gaze had been so intense when they caught eyes that he’d felt his breath catch in his throat.

Matt hadn’t been able to stop thinking about that moment they’d shared, and it was driving him crazy knowing there was no way she was having the same thoughts.

But then again, if Casey and Anders were right, if Kristy and Grace were right, maybe she was?

“Bud, you know Grace wouldn’t gossip if she didn’t think there was some truth to it,” Anders mused.

He wasn’t wrong there.

“Dhara is my nanny. Sarah’s nanny. Everything is completely professional,” Matt said firmly.

“Everything is completely professional?” Casey prodded.

“Yes?”

At the hesitance in his tone, Casey and Anders grinned.

“I knew it!” Casey hooted.

“What happened?” Anders asked, eyes lighting up.

“Nothing! Literally nothing has happened. She cleaned the stitches on my knuckles for me because I couldn’t get the bandage off, that’s it,” Matt said sharply.

“Booooooo.”

“Seriously, don’t make it a thing. I don’t want her thinking that I’m some kind of creep,” he groaned.

“Now why would she think that, if you weren’t having creepy thoughts?” Anders teased.

Matt sent them both a flat look, making them hoot with laughter.

“Aww you have it so bad!” Casey cackled.

“You two are the worst. I don’t know why we’re friends,” he muttered.

“You love us,” Anders grinned, toasting him with his beer bottle.

Matt just stuck his tongue out in response, taking a big swig of his own drink. He needed to nip all of this in the bud. There was no way he wanted this to get back to Grace and Kristy, and then back to Dhara. Absolutely not.

“She is pretty,” Casey said, smirking slightly, “Kristy said her smile and her laugh lit up the whole room.”

“And Grace said that Sarah worships her, literally fell asleep on her without a care in the world,” Anders added.

They both knew his weaknesses so well. Matt groaned, tilting his head back, before staring his friends down.

“Enough, okay? Yes, Dhara is beautiful. And smart. And so beyond capable with Sarah that it isn’t funny. But I’m not going to be that guy, okay? I’m her boss and I’m not even going to consider crossing that professional boundary, understood? That’s not cool,” Matt said seriously, “I’m not that guy.”

“We know you’re not,” Casey mused, holding his hands up in surrender.

Anders just nodded his agreement. “We only tease you because we love you. And like I said, I wouldn’t have brought it up if Grace hadn’t seen something herself.”

“Just…don’t make it a thing? I don’t want to make Dhara uncomfortable around me. Sarah adores her and that’s all that matters,” Matt sighed, mostly in defeat.

“If you’re sure, then we won’t,” Anders said.

“But we reserve the right to change our minds later,” Casey grinned.

“Oh my god, get me another drink,” Matt groaned.

Seriously, the worst.

~

Sparkling lights, tinsel, and candy canes everywhere – it only meant one thing. Christmas was coming. With continuous snowfall and the way that she couldn’t escape Christmas songs anywhere, Dhara could hardly deny its upcoming presence, especially with how excited Sarah was getting. As usual, Dhara wasn’t going home for the two weeks break, and the moment Matt found out that her roommate was going home (leaving Dhara alone), he insisted that she came over to spend Christmas day with him, Sarah, and his parents.

(“Matt, no, I can’t intrude.” “No-one should be alone on Christmas.”)

He even tried to offer to pay her for coming over, with that she put her foot down. Christmas was Christmas, after all. In the end, they decided that, with her last class of the semester on the 19th, Dhara would stay over from the 20th to the 22nd, until his parents arrived on the 23rd. They would take over taking care of Sarah with Matt not getting home until late in the evening of the 23rd, and then Dhara would come back over on the 25th, leaving again in the evening of the 26th. It was a lot of back and forth, she could admit, but she’d never had someone in her life so insistent that she spend the holidays with them – and the fact that it was Matt? She couldn’t find it in her heart to say no, especially when he got Sarah and her puppy dog eyes on the case.

Somehow, travelling on the trains on Christmas Day wasn’t as bad as she feared, even with her overnight bag and holdall of gifts. It was only lightly snowing on her short walk to Matt’s house, so she wasn’t fully shivering when she knocked on the door but she was definitely glad that Matt didn’t take too long to open it.

“Hey, you made it! Why didn’t you call me from the station? I would’ve picked you up!” he said quickly beckoning her inside.

“I’m used to the walk now, and I didn’t want to disturb you,” she shrugged, unwinding the scarf from her neck.

“You would never have disturbed me. You’re…never mind, come into the kitchen, my mom’s making hot chocolate,” Matt murmured.

She left her bags in the hallway after taking off her boots, coat, and woolly hat, nervously following Matt into the kitchen. Why was she so nervous to meet his family?

“Guys, Dhara’s here!”

“Dhara! You made it!” Sarah cried out happily.

She knelt down to give her charge a big hug, grateful for the friendly face, before standing up with a nervous smile.

“I’ve heard so much about you – I’m Dawn,” Matt’s mom said, big smile on her face identical to Matt’s.

“And I’m Jim. It’s great to finally meet you,” Matt’s dad said warmly.

Was it really that easy?

“I’ve heard only good things about you too. Thank you for letting me join your family Christmas,” she said, smiling back at them.

“Letting you? I had to practically beg you,” Matt teased.

“Because I see you all year round – your parents don’t get that luxury,” she shot back, still smiling.

“I like you already,” Jim laughed.

“Drinks anyone?” Matt mused.

Once the hot chocolate was passed around, they made their way into the living room, Dhara having grabbed her holdall on the way with the gifts.

“I like your scarf, Dhara,” Sarah piped up, once she was settled on a big cushion on the floor.

Dhara’s fingers brushed over the lightweight blue patterned material draped over her chest and pinned in pleats at her shoulders with a smile. She didn’t usually indulge in her South Asian heritage with her outfits, but her holidays it always felt like a must. She might be wearing a casual plain grey sweater underneath, with light wash jeans, but the chanderi dupatta added a much-needed level of elegance – a casual but respectful outfit. Her mother had loved it at least when she called her this morning, and it was nice to know that Sarah did too.

“Thank you! It’s a dupatta – many South Asian women wear them in many different styles. I like to wear a chanderi dupatta, this lightweight patterned silk, over casual clothes to add a little something extra,” she said, smiling.

“It’s really pretty. Never seen you wearing anything like that,” Matt said softly.

“Thanks,” Dhara said, thankful her dark skin hid her blush, “I tend to only wear dupattas for special occasions. I don’t practice Sikhism as much as I did back in LA, and even then not nearly as much as my mother would’ve liked us all too.”

“Why not?” Sarah asked.

“Sarah!” Matt frowned.

“It’s okay, really,” she said, reassuring, “Well, my upbringing was fairly mixed. My mom’s parents came over from Punjab when they were newly married – my Baba Ji, my grandpa, is an Engineer. My mom and her brothers were born and raised Sikh in Los Angeles. Mom met Dad in university and they fell in love. The only problem was, he was Christian. Or at least, loosely Christian – and very white. While my mom didn’t care about all of that, because she’d fallen head over heels for him and him for her, her parents didn’t approve. She left home and married him anyway, and we haven’t really seen much of my mom’s side of the family ever.”

“But they fell in love!” Sarah cried.

“Culture and religion are complicated things,” Dhara said simply, smiling sadly, “my mom knew what she was giving up, she was very brave. She still had a lot of her friends in the community so she had that connection, and Dad’s family is huge and loud and welcoming, so she never felt alone. She raised me with a knowledge of Sikhism and the welcome to join her in celebrating any holidays I wanted to, but my parents left me to forge my own path, which I did. I have some contact with cousins on my mom’s side thanks to Instagram, so it’s not all a loss. I like to think I get the best of both worlds.”

She couldn’t have asked for more with her upbringing, she knew that. Dhara had been given the world, and been taught kindness for others always, and had an education that others could only dream of, and all the love she could ever want from her parents. She also knew that sometimes her mom struggled but that she had her husband, Dhara’s dad, to rely on for strength. Her mom truly was a hero of hers, and she could only be grateful for everything she’d done for her.

“Thank you for sharing that with us. It can’t always be easy, being so far away from your family,” Matt said softly.

“It isn’t always, no. But I’m following my passion with my degrees, and they understand that,” Dhara nodded, smiling at him, “Besides, we have modern technology, no?”

Matt and his parents just laughed, making her smile a bit wider.

“But Dhara, what about…”

“How about we give Dhara a break from interrogation and pass out gifts, hm?” Dawn mused, interrupting Sarah.

Dhara laughed, shrugging, Sarah just pouting.

“You can ask more questions later okay?” Matt said, glancing up at Dhara to make sure she was okay with that.

Dhara just nodded. The way he checked to confirm with her sent out butterflies she tried desperately to ignore. This was not the time.

As they all passed around presents, Dhara had been pleasantly surprised to learn that she had gifts to open too. She hadn’t expected anything from his parents but they’d still surprised her anyway, with a gorgeous earrings and necklace set that felt fancier than anything she owned in New York. Sarah had gifted her a set of pens and a pretty notebook (which she’d picked out herself, apparently) and she’d looked so pleased with herself that it warmed Dhara’s heart.

For Matt’s mom, she’d gifted her a set of Indian spices, because Matt had told her in passing that his mom liked to cook from all different cuisines – so she’d bought her cumin seeds, coriander powder, garam masala, turmeric, and green cardamom. Dawn had looked so touched when she opened them, giving Dhara a big hug that she hadn’t been expecting. Matt’s dad looked just as pleased by his craft beer tasting tour back home in Ontario, and promised to give her reviews of every single one.

Sarah had squealed in happiness at the book Dhara bought her. A Is for Awesome: 23 Iconic Women Who Changed the World. It was important for Sarah to learn about how powerful she could be as a woman, and from Matt’s smile he seemed to agree with her.

For Matt – she’d bought him a cufflink box.

“I’m always losing cufflinks on roadtrips. You remembered,” Matt murmured.

The way her heart fluttered. Wow.

“And now you have a place to store 4 sets, wherever you go,” Dhara said softly.

“Thank you, this is…I love it,” Matt grinned.

Well now she was a goner.

Her last gift to open was from Matt. Again she hadn’t expected anything from him – he was opening his home to her on Christmas, after all – but when she opened the instant camera, Fujifilm Instax Mini with multiple packs of film cards, her heart felt like it was going to burst out of her chest.

“Matt, this is…wow. This is too much!” she gasped.

“You’ve talked about wanting to preserve memories and I thought this would be a fun way to do it,” he shrugged.

A fun way to preserve memories. A whole ass camera. This was just like him.

“Thank you,” she murmured, smiling so widely at him that it hurt.

Matt just smiled helplessly at her in return.

“Can you tell me more about Sikh stuff now please?”

Sarah’s pleading interruption made her laugh, saving her from the explosion of butterflies in her stomach. “If your family don’t mind, I’m happy to tell you more about Sikhism, sure.”

Dhara looked at Matt and his parents, who all nodded and smiled at her. Well, here goes nothing. Time for a basic lesson in Sikhism.

“Sikhism was founded by Guru Nanak around 500 years ago in an area called the Punjab. That’s where my grandparents came from on my mother’s side, if you remember – Punjab is an area which spans part of India and Pakistan now, and they come from the Indian side of it. There are lot of different elements to Sikhism, but some of the main things that Sikhs believe are that your actions are important, and you should lead a good life. You should keep God in your heart and mind at all times, live honestly and work hard, treat everyone equally, be generous to those less fortunate than you, and to serve others,” Dhara listed.

“That sounds really nice,” Sarah said, smiling.

Dhara smiled back at her, heart warmed by the sweet words.

“It is, yes. I don’t attend temple, the Gurdwara, as much as I should, but it’s always really peaceful there. I always try to go for Lohri, the harvest festival in January, and I definitely celebrate Diwali in late October because my family always has, but there are many more holy days that Sikhs commemorate,” Dhara explained.

“Can you tell me about them?” Sarah asked hopefully.

Dhara glanced around the room, seeing Matt and his parents listening raptly, and nodded.

“Of course I can! Firstly…”

~

“Watch yourself, Matthew.”

Matt lifted his head from where he was washing up, seeing his mom standing next to him with a dish towel in hand. His dad, Sarah, and Dhara were all in the living room still, playing Go Fish, but Matt and his mom had moved to the kitchen to tackle at least some of the dishes.

“What?” he said, frowning.

“Don’t think I can’t see the way you look at Dhara,” she said pointedly.

Fuck.

Matt took a shaky breath and opened his mouth to protest, but his mom quickly shook her head.

“She is a lovely young woman with a bright future. Unless you can see marriage in the cards, then don’t mess her around. She deserves the best,” his mom said firmly.

Oh.

Oh.

“Yes, yes she does,” he murmured.

~

With Matt’s parents staying through until the 2nd January, the day before her classes started up again, Dhara had the full rest of the week to herself. The only thing she had planned was getting through work for her Database Management Systems class, but Dawn and Jim had insisted that she came to the game with them on the 28th. That whole evening had been so wholesome; it was clear exactly how much Matt’s parents loved and supported him, and to see his smiling face when they went down to see him after the game? Heartwarming.  Matt had also asked her to come to the New Year’s Eve party that Anders and Grace were throwing – his parents weren’t going to that, but he’d paid for them to have a nice dinner in Manhattan for their own celebration. Dhara almost said no to Matt’s invitation (because who was she to go to a private event like that?), but when he said that Grace had invited her specifically, she couldn’t resist. An invite from Grace Lee to her own party was not something that someone turned down. She knew she’d made the right decision when Grace texted her to say how excited she was that Dhara was coming, which made her feel like a little bit less of an intruder.

What was it with these people and forgetting she was literally just the nanny?

“You look nice,” Matt murmured.

“No daddy, Dhara looks beautiful,” Sarah said firmly.

Dhara laughed, ducking her head shyly just in time to miss the way Matt blushed. Her black sparkly long-sleeved bodycon dress was something that she kept on hand as the only semi-formal thing she had in her closet – so it was really her only option for the Lee’s New Year’s Eve party tonight.

“You’re right, my apologies Sarah,” Matt mused, grinning, “You do look beautiful, Dhara.”

Even if it was prompted by his daughter, it was still spine-tingling to hear Matt say those words.

“You’re too kind, both of you,” she laughed, shaking her head.

Matt just winked before kneeling down to help Sarah put her shoes on, leaving Dhara more flustered than she’d ever been in her life. Thankfully they didn’t have to wait long for the car service that Matt had insisted on, and soon enough their party of three arrived.

“Ah, welcome Martins and Nicholls!”

Dhara giggled at Anders’ booming voice, Matt rolling his eyes fondly as they entered the house.

“Thanks for having us,” Matt mused, handing over a bottle of very nice bourbon to his Captain.

Anders just grinned. “You’re always welcome, bud. Grace is in the kitchen making cocktails for the girls – we’re not invited to that, Matt, but you should definitely head in there so you don’t miss any good gossip, Dhara.”

“Oh, but Sarah…”

“Sarah can stick with me while we go and say hi to all her uncles before they get too drunk, hm?” Matt suggested.

“Drunk Uncle Casey is funny,” Sarah giggled.

“That settles it then!” Anders said cheerfully.

He pointed Dhara in the direction the kitchen and whisked Matt and Sarah away, leaving Dhara reeling. This wasn’t what she had expected at all – and now she was being shuffled over to the WAGs like she had any right to be there?

“Dhara! There you are! Grace is just finishing a fresh batch of mojitos – join us!”

She let out a shaky breath at Kristy’s happy exclamation, but followed her with a smile. She could totally do this. She could go with the flow, especially with Matt’s insistence, and she could just get back to watching Sarah after this drink, right? If Matt was okay with it?

In truth, nothing happened the way she thought it would over the night. While she did return back to watching over Sarah, all of the other WAGs with kids insisted they she took breaks to enjoy herself because they could all chip in to watch the kids. It did make her feel weird because hello, it was literally her job to nanny, but Matt’s happy face every time she took a break to socialise was too strong to resist. The main thing that struck her though was how much she stuck out like a sore thumb. Not just in terms of appearance – she figured she was going to be one of the only people of colour there – but just in terms of importance? Not even all the team was here – the youngest ones were off clubbing apparently, which made Dhara all the more aware of how intimate this gathering was. She didn’t belong here, not in this world. What was her life coming to?

She didn’t know if Matt’s presence helped either. All through the night he made she sure had enough to drink (she stuck to water or soda after that first lethal mojito from Grace) and enough to eat. He included her in every conversation, introduced her to people she hadn’t met yet, and checked in on her when she was watching Sarah. Every time she could see a couple of his teammates and/or the WAGs smirking slightly – but not in a mean way. And certainly not mocking her. It was confusing to say the least, like the lines were blurring without giving her any way to read the meaning of the situation, and it was all she could do to try to let it go. Matt was just being a gentleman, that was all.

When it came to a couple of minutes until the ball drop though, Dhara found herself squished onto a sofa in front of the TV that Anders was setting up, with Sarah fast asleep on her lap and Matt sitting down at her side.

“Champagne?” Matt said, holding out a second glass.

“I suppose one glass couldn’t hurt to bring in the new year,” Dhara mused.

She tried to ignore the way her stomach fizzled as their fingers brushed. Eventually, with just 30 seconds to spare, the living room was packed with party guests, Dhara essentially pressed fully up into Matt’s side. All she could do was remember to breathe, keeping her focus anchored on Sarah to distract herself from the warmth of his thigh against hers. It was intoxicating to say the least, and she was grateful at least for the noise of the room drowning out her thoughts.

“3…2…1…HAPPY NEW YEAR!”

As fireworks exploded across the screen and out the windows, and couples embraced all around the room, Dhara’s breath caught in the throat as she looked up at Matt to see him already looking down at her.

“Happy New Year, Dhara,” he murmured.

“Happy New Year,” she said softly back.

The intensity in his eyes made fire burn through her skin, barely softened by the champagne she poured down her throat. The way he looked at her…it almost felt real.

~

Dhara’s birthday was always a strange time of year for her. She never did anything massive to celebrate it, just casual dinner and drinks with friends and a phone call with her parents, but this year it fell at the end of January on a Saturday, at the end of Matt’s bye week. He had no other plans that spending time with Sarah anyway, so he gave her the week off to relax.

Relax, hah.

She had her thesis proposal to finish, with the final submission of the full finished thing due at the beginning of May, but she’d managed to sort out the data she wanted to use in the first half of January – so she was able to use her week off from nannying to finish the proposal. She holed herself up in her bedroom, surrounded by drinks and snacks, barely taking any breaks other than to reassure her roommate that she was still alive, until she submitted it to her supervising professor.

It was worth it, to feel like she’d accomplished something she was proud of.

Dhara emerged from her ‘coding cave’ the day before her birthday, her roommate shoving her straight into the shower while she ordered them both Thai food to celebrate. It felt good to have a little time to actually relax before her birthday, because before dinner and drinks with her friends, Matt had planned a surprise lunch for her.

She should have expected the restaurant he chose to be a fancy one. She’d never eaten anywhere so nice, not even when her parents came up for her undergraduate degree graduation.

“I have one more surprise for you,” Matt announced, just as he paid the bill, “if you have time to come back to the house with us.”

Sarah was basically wriggling in her seat, quietly begging please please please, and how could Dhara say no to that? All through the drive back to Matt’s house, Sarah was whispering to him and giggling away, making Dhara smile to herself. Seeing the young girl so excited made her excited – and after the incredible surprise Christmas gift he’d gotten her? She could only hope it wasn’t something crazy.

“Okay Sarah, you go ahead and open the door while I make sure Dhara isn’t peeking,” Matt said with a smile.

“What,” she said flatly.

Matt just smiled innocently, stepping behind her, and it was all Dhara could to do gasp as he gently placed his hands over her eyes from behind. Fuck.

“Door’s open daddy!”

“Okay sweetheart, why don’t you take Dhara’s hands and slowly guide her indoors,” Matt instructed, “if you’re okay with that?”

“Yeah sure, go for it,” Dhara laughed.

As if her today could get any stranger than this. So with Sarah’s small hands in hers and Matt’s large hands over her eyes (his cologne smelled so good this close, it was unreal), Dhara was slowly guided into the Martin house, taking heed of Sarah’s instructions not to bash into things, until she was standing in what she was sure was the rarely-used dining room. Matt and Sarah always preferred to eat at the kitchen island, but she knew where this room was. Why was she here?

“Ready?” Matt asked.

“Ready. I think,” Dhara mused.

Sarah let go of her hands at the same time as Matt removed his, and as soon as she opened her eyes, her breath caught in her throat. What the hell. In front of her, on the dining room table, were two computer screens, high definition and huge, with a docking station and all the appropriate wires to connect them to a laptop. To her laptop? What the hell.

“Matt…” she breathed.

Sarah just giggled at her reaction before skipping out of the room, leaving them alone. Leaving Dhara with her mind whirling.

“I know you were talking about how it’s easier to see your code side by side, and rather than doing the split screen thing you have been doing on just your laptop, I thought this would be more helpful,” he explained.

He remembered that from her rambling? He was listening?

“I can’t believe you bought me two computer screens. And a docking station. This is too much, Matt, really. I can’t accept them,” she murmured.

This was so personal – no-one had ever paid attention to her like this, and it was coming from him?

“Hey, no, this is important for you. For your work. I want to make sure that you have everything that you need to finish your degree in the best way possible – you’ve done so much for us and I just wanted to do this little thing for you. Besides, you only turn 25 once, right?”

“This isn’t little, Matt. And I’m just a nanny, I’ve barely done anything,” Dhara protested.

“If that’s all that you think you are to Sarah, and to me, then I’m clearly not doing enough to show you differently,” he said firmly.

The tone of his voice made her shiver in all the right ways.

“Matt, I…”

She trailed off at the intense look he was giving her.

“Happy birthday, Dhara,” Matt murmured, smiling softly.

It was all she could do to hug him tightly, sinking slightly into his chest as his arms immediately wrapped around her too. His shirt was soft against her cheek, that intoxicating cologne filling her senses, so much so that as she moved to break the hug, she impulsively kissed his cheek. Fuck. Dhara froze for a moment, stunned at her own audacity, but as she leaned back, Matt looked just as stunned – other than the pleased smile on his lips.

“Sarah! Come and say goodbye to Dhara so she can go out with her friends!” he called out, dropping his arms to let her go.

Dhara smiled at the sound of pattering footsteps, even more so as Sarah hugged her legs tightly.

“Dhara! You’re still my friend too, right?”

Be still her beating heart.

“Of course I am. I’ll be back here on Monday, ready for Kindergarten as usual,” she promised.

“Good. Happy birthday Dhara!” Sarah said happily.

Matt’s eyes never left her once.

~

With only a few weeks left until Spring Break, Dhara didn’t know where her final year of her degree was going. She knew she was going to use that Spring Break time to finish as much of her thesis as possible – and she knew she was going to be spending the whole week at Matt’s. Her new computer screens had stayed at his house as there was way more room for her to work there, and the couple of occasions she’d used them there for her classwork and he’d been home, he always smiled a pleased little smile like he was proud of himself for providing for her. It was…strange.

Everything was strange.

Since that kiss on the cheek, the dynamic between them had grown even more tense. Every stolen glance, brushed fingers, sweet smile, all felt like she was getting away with something forbidden. If anyone knew the illicit way she thought of Matt, she knew she’d burst into flames. And it wasn’t like she could be sure about how he felt about her either. Sure, he looked – but she was a beautiful Indian woman, and many men looked. It just felt different when she felt Matt’s eyes on her body, that was all.

She knew it was futile though. She was his nanny, nothing else. And she didn’t dare mess anything up with her employment now that she was only a couple of months away from turning in her thesis and finishing her Masters in Computer Science. She knew that she had to seriously start applying for jobs for starting in June, knew she didn’t want her years of hard work to go to waste – but it was so hard to decide exactly what she wanted when her head was spinning.

In a dream world, she’d have the career she’d always fantasised about, with Matt and Sarah by her side. But this was reality – girls like her didn’t get the career and the guy. She had to be realistic with herself, otherwise she was going to drown. She knew she had to stop indulging her daydreams and wake up – it wasn’t worth the inevitable heartache, as much as those dreams were nice to fall asleep to.

Still, when Spring Break arrived and Matt refused to let her nanny for him, rather than holing herself up in the bedroom of her tiny apartment, she holed herself up in Matt’s dining room, only emerging when Matt dragged her out to get some sleep or Sarah begged her to eat dinner with them. It was a weird but welcome change, to have people care about her wellbeing like that (her current roommate had her own weird work hours), so when she finally came out of her week of thesis writing and showered, she felt more human than she usually did after a data spree like that. It was refreshing to say the least.

“I can’t believe you spent your final ever Spring Break sitting at my dining room table,” Matt teased, handing her a plate of sliced apples.

Dhara stuck her tongue out at Matt as she happily took the plate, making him laugh.

“I needed to get my thesis finished as soon as possible so I can work on editing it and proving the data works. And I managed to get it nearly finished – now it’s just concluding it and all the weeks of editing to get done. Otherwise, all the hard work of the past three years will come to nothing, and I won’t be able to get a good job like I deserve,”

“Right, yes, of course. A job using computer science,” Matt nodded.

The way he said it though, and the way he looked like a kicked puppy, made her heart ache. “Matt, you knew I would only be able to work for you for a year. We talked about this, right from the start.”

“I know,” he said quickly, shaking his head with a smile, “It’s just going to be strange not having you around. You feel like part of the family already, and you know that Sarah loves you.”

Fuck.

“Matt, you’re killing me,” she murmured.

“Sorry,” he quickly said.

“No you’re not,” she said dryly.

“I am a little bit.”

Dhara huffed out a laugh, shaking her head. “I love systems analysis and the increase in importance of connectivity to keep up with modern systems within growing infrastructure, and I would love to work in something like that because it’s where my passion is. I just…I hope I can find something that takes a chance on a nobody like me.”

“You are the furthest thing from a nobody, Dhara. You’re incredible and talented and a beautiful person inside and out, and you deserve the best. Whatever you need, whatever I can help with, I will, okay? References, making calls, whatever. You name it and I’m there.”

Her lips parted in surprise at his supportive words, eyes stinging with tears, but she found herself smiling. He was such a sweetheart.

“That might be the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me,” Dhara said, voice thick with emotion as she stepped forward to hug him.

She felt herself tremble slightly at the warmth of Matt’s hands on her back, even more so at the way he buried his face in her long thick curls, and tried to savour the feeling of his arms around her while she still could. How had their time together come to an end so quickly? How was this fair?

“Yeah, well, you deserve everything and more,” Matt said gruffly as he stepped back.

If only she could read his mind right now, to see what thoughts were running behind the complicated expression on his face, then she would do it in an instant.

“Thank you, Matt,” she murmured.

“You’re welcome. Make sure you start applying soon, okay?”

~

Network Operations Engineer – Madison Square Garden Entertainment – full time.

Submission – completed.

~

March.

April.

May.

His fleeting time left with Dhara was slipping through his fingers. The harder he tried to hold on, the faster the days flew by, until she submitted her thesis and the end was in sight. He couldn’t blame her for being excited – fuck knows he wouldn’t be sane after all the years of education she’d gone through – but he couldn’t stop the anxiety that built in his chest when he thought of how, soon, she wouldn’t be laughing and smiling and typing away at her computer in his house.

The Islanders had barely lost the first round of the playoffs, kicking and scraping to the last minute, and now with the whole summer stretched out in front of him, the thought of spending it without her was excruciating. But Matt knew he had no claim on Dhara, had no right to feel this way, no matter how she looked at him or smiled sweetly at him or that one time she’d kissed his cheek. She was everything he hadn’t known he’d wanted and needed, and now she was soon to be gone from his life forever.

He, Matt Martin, was completely gone for Dhara Nicholls, and he didn’t know what the hell he was supposed to do about it.

“Dhara, come on, you’re not watching!”

Matt rolled his eyes fondly at Sarah’s petulant whining. “Sarah Dawn Martin, that’s not how we speak to our friends.”

He could see Dhara biting her lip to hide a smile as Sarah huffed dramatically.

“Dhara, please will you watch this with me? You said you would!”

“Of course, why don’t I just get us some more water each and we can settle in, hm?”

“Deal!”

Matt watched Dhara walk over to where he was putting together lunch in the kitchen, unable to stop himself smiling at her the moment she smiled at him.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

She giggled, shaking her head at herself as she pulled a couple of bottles of water out the fridge.

“How’s it going in there with the Drill Sergeant?” he mused.

“Oh it’s tough, but I think I’ll make it out alive,” she grinned.

Why was everything so easy between them? Nothing had ever been this easy before.

“Look, I, uh…I was hoping to ask you something?”

Dhara raised an eyebrow with a bemused smile but nodded, leaning against the counter next to him. “Go for it.”

“So you know it’s my birthday on Saturday?” he started.

Dhara just nodded, smiling.

“Okay cool, so I know you have things to finalise this week, with administration at your university, but Casey and the guys and girls have organised a night out and I was hoping you’d come? So yeah, come out with us, please,” he said, cursing himself for rambling.

“Oh, thank you – I just…what about Sarah?” she asked.

So sweet.

“She’s having a sleepover with a friend from Kindergarten, I already sorted that,” Matt said simply, smiling.

“Well in that case, I’d love to. If you’re sure?” Dhara said, uncertainly.

“Of course I’m sure. I want you out celebrating with me,” he said firmly.

While he couldn’t tell if she was blushing or not, the flash of surprise and something else in her eyes satisfied something inside of him that felt distinctly feral. He really was losing his control around her, wasn’t he?

“Then I’ll be there,” she said sweetly, “You only turn 35 once after all.”

Matt just grinned.

Saturday night rolled around quicker than he’d expected. The WAGs had taken Dhara out with them to get ready – the full works apparently, hair, make-up, and manicures, all of which he paid for Dhara because it was last minute – and when the ladies finally arrived to the restaurant he’d booked out for dinner? Well, it felt like he’d been punched in the face. It wasn’t that her dark curls were glossy and teased to volumed perfection. It wasn’t that her make-up was flawless, full glam like she never did herself. No, it was the emerald green mid-thigh strappy silk dress she’d clearly borrowed from one of the other ladies. The dress was so dainty and unlike anything he’d ever seen her wear, close enough to a negligee that it sent his mind reeling. He knew she had a great figure already, and that her legs were long and toned, but seeing them like this? It was mindblowing. And, obviously, it had taken everything in his power not to drool or let his jaw drop.

Naturally he missed Casey and Anders smirking at their wives and receiving triumphant grins in response from Grace and Kristy. Dhara’s sweet greeting and warm hug made everyone else in the room disappear.

Still, after dinner and going to a couple of bars, they ended up in a night club nearing midnight, Anders having booked a couple of tables upstairs in the VIP area. The whole group had a couple of shots together, toasting Matt’s 35th birthday, before the WAGs all dragged Dhara off to dance with them. From their table he could just about see her in the middle of the dancefloor, looking like she was having the time of her life, body swaying and moving in a way that had his full attention. Captivating.

He watched her on and off for the next half hour, switching between talking to the guys, sipping on his whisky and coke. But it wasn’t until Casey thumped down next down next to him and clapped him on the shoulder with a huff that he realised anyone had noticed.

“Come on man, just go down to the dancefloor and put us all out of our misery,” Casey groaned.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Matt frowned.

“You’re pining after Dhara and it’s driving us crazy,” he retorted.

“We’ve talked about this. She’s my nanny,” Matt said sharply.

“Yeah okay, like that even matters. I’ve seen the way you look at her and Kristy’s seen the way she looks at you, and it’s not like she’s going to be your nanny for much longer, right?” Casey smirked.

“Oh fuck you.”

“Fuck her.”

“Don’t talk about her like that,” Matt all but growled.

Casey just grinned, clearly getting the answer he wanted, goading Matt just like he intended. Damn it, he really did know him too well.

“Love you too bud. Stop being a coward,” Casey just snickered, patting Matt on the shoulder, a clear indication to just get out of there.

And if the desire to dance with Dhara hadn’t won out, he knew he’d be scowling at his friend. Instead, he found himself drifting down the stairs from the VIP area to where he lasted spotted Dhara in the crowd, and soon enough he found her. She looked like a goddess: swaying from side to side, multi-coloured lights brushing across her brown skin like a Picasso painting, and he felt himself mesmerised. She turned her head slightly at the prompting of Grace, wide smile stretching across her lips when she spotted him.

“Mind if I join you?” Matt said, raising his voice.

“Of course not birthday boy!” Dhara said happily.

Matt stepped closer to her, barely registering the rest of the ladies grinning at each other and slipping away through the crowd to leave them alone. His attention was completely captured – Dhara’s hips swaying so close to him were a massive distraction – and it wasn’t until a familiar song started playing that he finally looked up at her face.

“I love this song!” she said happily.

Dhara turned her back to him, confusing him slightly, until she looked back over her shoulder expectantly. He knew they’d both had a fair amount of alcohol to drink at this point, but her eyes were clear enough – dance with me. He could barely control himself as he stepped up behind her fully, hands on her hips, pulling her gently back against him, the soft moan that sounded from her lips making him feel wild. Fuck, he could feel himself stirring where his crotch was pressed just above her ass, even more so as she continued to sway her hips.

“Come, lay me down, 'Cause you know this, 'Cause you know this sound

In the middle of the night, In the middle of the night, Just call my name, I'm yours to tame...”

“Matt,” Dhara murmured, looking up at him.

He followed his base instincts for once, staying silent as he used the grip he had on her hips to spin her around to face him, taking pleasure in the look of surprise on her face and the flash of lust in her eyes, swaying their bodies together again.

“…I'm wide awake, I crave your taste all night long, 'Til morning comes, I'm getting what is mine, You gon' get yours, oh no, ooh, In the middle of the night.”

“Matt please.”

It was all he could do to guide her quickly through the crowd to the edge of the dancefloor, to an empty spot against the wall, leaving them mostly in the shadow, the bright flashes of light illuminating them just about enough to see each other’s faces.

“Tell me to stop,” Matt murmured into her ear, hands threading into her thick curls.

“Kiss me,” she replied, lifting her head in challenge.

He didn’t hesitate to press his lips to hers, kissing her just as she’d demanded, his heart immediately soaring. Dhara moaned into his mouth, moaned again when he pushed her firmly up against the wall, kissing him back just as eagerly as her hands clutched at his shirt. It was like she melted against his body as he slid his tongue past her lips, fire zipping through his blood, his head swirling. Matt kissed Dhara over and over again, one hand leaving her hair to clutch at her hip, the silk of her dress driving him mad and doing nothing to mask the heat of her skin, and while the music washed over them, he wanted nothing more than to get her away from this crowded dancefloor and take her home.

Fuck, it was intoxicating how well she fit into his arms, how her body was moulded to his, how their tongues danced together as intimately as their bodies had done. In all the times he’d thought about kissing her, about holding her, nothing could compare to the real thing. Nothing could compare to this.

But he needed to know that it wasn’t just him, that she wasn’t just kissing him because she was drunk. He didn’t think he would survive that. The confused noise she made when he broke the kiss just about broke his heart though.

“Dhara, baby, I gotta know…”

He groaned, kissing down her neck, feeling like he was shaking apart at her soft moans.

“What, Matt?” she gasped as he nipped at her skin.

“You’re not…you’re not too drunk right now, right? You want this?”

“Matt, I’ve been drinking water throughout the night between drinks. I want this. I want you. I just didn’t know if you wanted me,” she said, shrugging with a sheepish smile.

She didn’t know if he wanted her?

He rested his forehead against hers, pressing her fully into the wall again so she could feel where he was half hard in his jeans. Dhara giggled, pulling him down into another kiss with her grip on his shirt, and Matt was all too happy to oblige her, knowing he’d never get enough of her now that he’d tasted her.

“It’s not just sex, baby, I swear. I want all of you,” Matt murmured, breaking their kiss again to suck on the thin skin behind her ear.

“You promise?” she asked softly into his ear, almost shyly.

“I promise,” he nodded, as serious as he could manage in this moment.

“Then take me home.”

“Yeah?” he grinned.

“Yeah, take me home Matt,” she grinned back.

~

Dhara woke with a soft groan, eyes feeling gritty and mouth as dry as an old sock. She blearily lifted her head, grabbing the glass of water on the side table and chugging it, body not recognising the weight of an arm over her waist until her head was a bit clearer.

An arm over her waist.

Over her bare waist.

Matt’s arm.

She let out a shaky breath as all the memories of the night before flooded into her head. Dancing intimately with Matt in the nightclub where anyone could see them. Making out on the side of the dancefloor. The two of them leaving the club without telling anyone, barely keeping their hands off each other in the uber back to his. Then a rush of lips and hands and teeth and bare skin, and waves of pleasure over and over again, crying out his name without a care in the world.

It was everything she’d ever dreamed over, and now, waking up in his bed with his bare body pressed to hers, it was her nightmare all the same.

She’d never acted like this before in her life. Never slept with a man she wasn’t dating. Absolutely never slept with her boss. What kind of trashy behaviour was that? How could he ever think she was worth his time if this is the way she acted the first time he showed interest? Fuck.

But she remembered his words too. How he checked that she wasn’t too drunk, that she wanted this. How he swore it wasn’t just sex, that he wanted her. How insistent he was on promising that it wasn’t just talk to get her into bed. And in between each of the many orgasms he brought her to, he checked in with her each time, making sure she was okay, just because that’s who he was.

He was Matt Martin, gentleman under a rough handsome exterior, and he wanted her.

None of that changed her insecurities though, how all of this was so out of character for her. Not to mention, she knew damn well that everyone knew what they did last night, why they left the club early, and wasn’t that mortifying? No, she needed some air, she needed to think. And to maybe put on some clothes she’d left in the spare room because there was no way she could wear Kristy’s tiny silk dress home in broad daylight.

With a shaky breath, Dhara gently picked up Matt’s arm, moving it off of her body, before slowly sitting upright. If she could just stand up without waking him it would be…

“Good morning. Going somewhere?”

Matt’s husky voice made her freeze, a wave of guilt washing over her, before she turned to face him, sheets clutched to her bare chest.

“I…I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m doing,” she murmured, more honest than she cared to be.

And if that wasn’t a metaphor for her life since she met him, what was?

He just frowned, sitting upright, and she couldn’t stop her gaze from raking over his chest, his biceps, his shoulders. Damn. “What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong? Where should I start?” Dhara said, feeling a little hysterical.

“I thought we were on the same page last night,” Matt said hesitantly, “I thought we both wanted this.”

“We did,” she said quickly, “I did. But…you know this doesn’t make any sense right?”

“Why not? You like me, I like you. You want me, I want you. It’s simple,” he frowned.

If only.

“It’s not simple at all, Matt. Not for me. It’s one thing for you to have the hots for your young pretty nanny, but to actually hook up with her? And to say you want something more? People are going to think I’m a gold digger! That I trapped you! That I manipulated my way into your life!”

“Dhara, all of that is bullshit. I don’t care what people think. Anyone who dares to call you a gold digger is an asshole who doesn’t know us. Everyone who knows us knows it isn’t like that at all. You’ve already got a job lined up waiting for you with Madison Square Garden Entertainment Group and you only just handed in your thesis – like, you’re going to be making your own money so it’s not like you only like me for that, right?”

“Well, no, but…”

“And you didn’t even know who I was when you first interviewed with me, so it’s not like you planned this, right?”

“Of course I didn’t, but…”

“If you don’t want anything more than this one night with me then obviously I would accept that. It would suck and the last few weeks of you working for me would be really awkward, but damn Dhara, I want a future with you,” Matt finished, taking one of her hands in his, the other still clutching at the bed sheet.

He really wants a future with her?

“You do?” she asked softly, almost as if she didn’t believe it.

“Yeah, I do,” he nodded, smiling warmly, “I mean, I’m not sure what you see in me – I’m a 35 year old hockey player who’s nearing the end of his career, already divorced once with a kid who doesn’t have an off switch or a volume control, and I have no idea what I’m going to do with my life…but I just know that I want you in my life, however I can have you.”

“You’re the kindest, sweetest, most handsome man I’ve ever met, with a daughter who loves you so much, and you see me for more than the Indian girl stuck behind a computer screen. I…I never expected this, any of this Matt, but I want to try?” she said, biting her bottom lip.

The way his face lit up with sweet genuine smile made her heart soar.

“You have no idea how happy that makes me. I’m going to do my best to make you so happy too, Dhara, I swear,” he grinned.

Dhara huffed out a laugh, laughing properly as he tugged the sheet out of her hand and guided her to lie down again in the messy bed, sliding his thick arm over her waist to tug their bare bodies together, lying face to face in the most intimate yet soft way she’d ever lain with another man.

And in that moment, it didn’t matter that her career was just about to kick off while his was in its hockey-twilight. And it didn’t matter than he was 10 years older than her, a whole wealth of life experience that she barely had. And it didn’t matter what people would whisper about them, or what judgemental looks she was get, or that her mother had never met him, or even that none of this would ever have happened in her wildest dreams.

All that mattered was that he wanted her, in his bed, in his family, in his life.

“Can I kiss you, baby?”

“Yes.”

~

Tagging a few people: @jostyriggslover96 @misshoneyimhome @senditcolton @fallinallincurls @2manytabsopen

[g1rlr0b1n]

Any headcanons about Jon Kent and/or Damian Wayne?

I'm gonna focus some older damijon headcanons so that this post doesn't go on forever 😅

Sleeping Habits

Jon sleeps best when he focuses in on Damian's heartbeat. He still has night terrors about his time as Ultraman's prisoner but if he can listen to Damian's heartbeat until it lulls him back to sleep, he feels safe. This continues on into his adult life.

Damian inherited Jon's old Superboy jacket after Jon came back aged up and he sleep with it next to his pillow like a security blanket (but if anyone asks, he'll deny it). Damian stops doing this when Jon begins sleeping over because now his pillows smell like Jon and that's all he really wanted, that feeling of knowing he's around.

Dating History

Jon dates a lot in his youth, he dated Irma, then Jay, then several more people before finally dating Damian in his early 30s. He likes dating, he likes the thrill of a new relationship but after the cliché feelings of romance have worn off, he has a bad habit of becoming distant until the other person just ends things with him. This hasn't happened with Damian because Damian doesn't let him get bored lol...also because their love is stronger than feelings of passion. It's a genuine love and friendship.

Damian didn't start dating seriously until after college. He'd had crushes but they weren't really a sexual thing, more like something he thought he was supposed to do and wanting to feel loved. He tried to give it the ol' college try with Maps but even she knew it wasn't going to work out; they're still really good friends though (and only two years "wasted"). Honestly, she figured out his preferences before he did and convinced him to ask Jon out. Silver lining is, Damian introduced her to Colin and when they got married they fought over who got to have him as their best man...she won. (yes Maps and Colin are one of my crack ships lol)

College

Damian actually convinced Jon to give college another try, which he does. They end up going to Star City University together (because it's neutral) and were even roommates. It was awkward for Jon at first since he was an older freshman but he's a people person so the age gap didn't stay weird for long. It did get tiring telling the freshman, "no, I can't buy you alcohol. I'm not trying to get expelled". He ends up getting a PhD in Biochemistry.

Damian had not been excited to continue his education until he managed to convince Jon to do it with him. He decided to go the Veterinary route because "people get on his nerves" and he wanted to save on his own vet bills (practical). When their majors took them in separate directions they still stayed as roommates. Damian and Jon didn't date in college so it did get under Damian's skin to see Jon date other people, but at the time he didn't really understand why (retrospect is 20/20).

Careers

Jon had been nervous about not following his parent's footsteps but with Damian's encouragement Jon goes into applied research and gets a job at S.T.A.R labs. He writes articles of his findings frequently, so it's not like the ol' writing genes went completely to waste. His parents do like to joke "where did we go wrong with you?" about his very different career path but it's all in jest, they are very proud of him.

Damian gets his veterinary medical degree but later decides to go back to school to get a general medical degree (he has a change of heart in his mid-30s). He is still primarily a Vet but he wanted to be able to help his family out as well since Alfred was gone and...so was Leslie now too. Damian also does a lot of extra research regarding alien biology on the side, he can't get a degree in it, but he's currently one of only a handful of people on Earth that would be able to operate on Jon or any other Kryptonian should they need it.

The Multiverse

Damian and Jon are a rare phenomena within the Multiverse; that are what is regarded as, "True Soulmates". Even on Earths that do not have both a Damian and Jon their fates are still intertwined. A world without both spells loneliness for the the other and more often than not, catastrophe for that world. (I'm actually in the process of writing a whole series about this. The first preview was posted earlier this month. Earth 3: Into the Owls Nest)

[feeder86]

The Girlfriend’s Boyfriend

College had hit Ant hard. He had never been academic, like his parents and, if he was completely honest with himself, he should have pushed harder against them when they had insisted that going there was the best option for him. With two older siblings, now settled in good careers, Ant’s mediocre degree was never going to get him particularly far in the world of work. Partly, it was his own fault. Having felt that he’d been shoehorned into a course that he had very little interest in, the teenage rebel had emerged from within him. He’d partied hard and decided that he wasn’t going to take anything too seriously. He’d had three years of beer, sex and good times; emerging from the experience a somewhat changed person.

At 6’5, Ant now felt clumsy in his work dress pants and shirt. He’d noticed his lifestyle starting to catch up with him by the start of the third year and he now tutted at his reflection as he looked in the mirror. If only he could afford better shirts, he wouldn’t have to put up with the way these ones clung to his small lovehandles and gently curved nature of his middle. He certainly wasn’t fat by any stretch of the imagination, but he was still a good thirty pounds away from the athletic physique he had once had; the six pack he’d acquired through hours of extra-curricular sports in high school, now very much buried under a stubborn little paunch. Ant was only twenty-two and already the dadbod had found him. 

Perhaps it was his height that made it so noticeable. He’d been tall, and almost lanky, his entire life. Even now, his face, his arms and chest, didn’t look any different. Yet, that infuriating little paunch had sprouted from his center and his rear had thickened into something a lot more meaty and protrusive than he had ever been used to; like his body was pushing out in both directions simultaneously.

Getting dates wasn’t as easy as it had once been. College had been an easy time to pick up girls, as well as the occasional guy. It was only now that he realised that real life didn’t resemble the college campus, even a tiny bit. He struck out on his own, renting a miniscule apartment in the city, hoping that he could acquire some semblance of the fun times he was used to, away from his parents. However, money was tight now his family weren’t funding him and Ant had come to accept that he was only really going to be able to go out once a week or so. 

Even so, staring at his reflection as he was now, Ant knew that he would have to divert some of his salary towards a gym subscription. He’d noticed women starting to stare at his more bloated midsection, right before they turned him down. He fussed with his tie, trying to see if the way it fell helped to conceal anything at all. It didn’t.

“You’ve got to go,” he said aloud to his little paunch, turning to the side and cringing as he realised how obviously it was pushing out. It was time to whip himself into shape.

It didn’t take long for Ant to recognise that he had seriously overestimated his own fitness. Swinging his legs on the crosstrainer, he had never felt more sweaty in his entire life. He took large mouthfuls of water until he made himself feel dizzy and nauseous. Then he sat back on the bench, catching his breath, no longer caring that his soaking t-shirt clung so unflattering his thick, rounded tummy.

That was the moment when she walked in; a beautiful, toned and outstandingly attractive woman of Ant’s age. Her butt was pert and well-shaped, captivating Ant’s attention immediately. She glanced in his direction, making Ant sit up immediately and try to suck in his paunch, whilst controling his breathing so that he looked natural. It must have worked as well, for the girl smiled at him before strutting over to the cross trainer. She glanced back again. Another smile; this time even broader. Was Ant really in with a shot?

Wasting no time, Ant went straight over and began making small talk, going at a very slow pace on the cross trainer next to the girl, whose name he soon discovered to be Bryony. He tried his best to summon his old college bravado and confidence with the ladies, even though he knew he was far from his prime. However, it seemed like he hardly even needed to try. Bryony laughed at all of his lame jokes and showed an interest in everything he had to say. Suddenly, Ant had gone from feeling like the biggest loser, to the guy other men were looking at with jealousy.

“You’re such a cutie,” Bryony smiled at him as she was wrapping up the workout that she had made seem entirely effortless. “Do you want to come shower with me? We can soap each other up…” she grinned suggestively.

Ant felt like all of his luck had come at once. Never in his whole life had he ever imagined getting hit on by a girl like this before. She held out her hand and led him into the ladies, where she locked the door, assuring him that they would not be disturbed at this time in the evening. Then, she seductvely undressed herself with a confidence in her body that Ant was unable to match. However, as he removed his shirt and revealed his little doughy middle, Bryony moaned in pleasure regardless; strapping her hands onto his lovehandles and pulling him in. Then, what followed next was pure heaven.

Bryony had explained in detail, even before they’d had sex, that she wasn’t the type of girl to be tied down. She had a few guys she liked to keep in her pocket, all with a variety of traits that she found attractive.

“So, what is it that you like about me?” Ant asked, pulling his shirt back on and still in shock that he’d actually got lucky with a girl like this.

“I love the dadbod look,” Bryony shot back without shame. “Cute little beer belly, bubble butt. You’ve got it all.”

Ant tried not to be taken aback. “Thanks…” he mumbled, trying to take it as a compliment, despite his very real instinct to feel insulted.

“You want to do this again sometime?” Bryony asked with a smile. “Not here though,” she stated assertively. “The gym’s not for guys like you,” she teased, rubbing Ant’s little paunch. “I don’t want you spoiling your look.”

Ant’s erection was bouncing back. He was ready to go again, even now. “Yes,” he nodded with absolute certainty. He’d walk over burning hot coals to have another session with Bryony. And so, he passed over his phone and let the most beautiful woman he had ever met enter her number.

“You’ve put on weight again,” Ant’s mother sighed, looking at her son as he came over for her birthday that summer. “What happened to you going to the gym?”

“It’s too expensive,” Ant grumbled. “Plus, I don’t think I need it. There are plenty of girls who dig this sort of look.”

Ant’s mother rolled her eyes. “I don’t think so, dear.”

But Ant smirked and helped himself to a huge slice of cake. His mother didn’t know about Bryony, but if she did, she’d know that she was entirely wrong about girl’s not liking a guy with a bit of a belly. Ever since he’d started sleeping with Bryony a few months ago, he’d never felt so satisfied in his life; in more ways that one. As a spoilt, trust-fund girl, Bryony was never short of money. Each time Ant went over, he was treated to beers and pizza that she’d get in just for him. She said it was part of what she found most attractive about Ant; his care-free attitude towards his diet and exercise; swooning at him as he guzzled all the beers, slobbed out on her sofa and effortlessly consumed every bit of takeout. Even as he gained another ten pounds… twenty pounds, the fact that he was sleeping with a girl like Bryony was a badge of honour that he wore like a shield around him, even as sly, thoughtless comments about his weight began to be thrown towards him by his friends and family.

As lucky as Ant felt in his current situation, he did have one slight niggle when it came to his fun times with Bryony. He’d long since stopped fantasising that he could ever tie the girl down and make her his. However, if they were just doing this for the sex, Ant wished she was a little more dominant. He’d fantasised about it over and over again: getting tied to the bed and ridden by her, whilst she fed him the large cream cakes that she seemed to get a strange kick out of seeing him enjoy.

Staring at himself as he emerged from the shower, Ant did what he usually avoided and took a long hard look at himself. From the chest up, he could fool himself into thinking that he was completely unaltered, But as water dripped from his deepening belly button, he couldn’t deny the ever increasing bloated shape of his middle. His pushed out paunch had started to create a fold along the top of his lovehandles, developing a shelf where his belly lunged forward, even appearing to harden slightly and feel less doughy than he had expected. He turned around and stared at the reason why his pants weren’t fitting anymore: the two puffy globes that had become his buttocks. Just what would his nineteen year old self think if he could see this right now? Still, nineteen year old Ant wasn’t fucking Bryony at least twice a week, so he was hardly losing in life. In fact, that horny nineteen year old Ant would still have swapped with him in a heartbeat.

Ant had been out with friends when he caught sight of Bryony. He felt like it was divine intervention, given how much teasing he’d had from his buddies about his weight gain. After only a couple of beers, his already distended gut was bloating and straining the buttons of his shirt, inviting pokes from all of the boys. Now, however, he could stroll back to the table with beautiful Bryony under his arm and show them all who he was actually fucking at the moment. That would show them.

“Hey,” he smiled, strolling over to the bar and tapping Bryony on her shoulder.

Bryony turned and smiled at him. However, as she did so, a large, muscular and possessive arm slid itself over her delicate shoulders. Ant looked across at a man, even taller than himself and easily more built and strapping than any other guy in the packed bar that night.  “Who’s this?” the enormous man asked Bryony, who was clearly his date for the evening.

“This is Ant,” Bryony smiled, reaching her hand up and holding the man’s big paw, making clear to Ant where her loyalties lay that evening. “Ant, meet Danny.”

“Oh, this is Ant!” Danny smiled, looking Ant up and down as if everything suddenly made perfect sense. “This is your little side project?” he smirked at Bryony, who shushed him with embarrassment.

“Sorry, I didn’t know you were busy,” Ant mumbled to Bryony, deciding he should leave now, considering how intimidatingly big Bryony’s other boyfriend was. 

“Hey, Ant, stay there!” the large Danny shouted to him as he saw Ant turning to leave. “I’m getting you a beer.” He raised his hand and seemed to communicate what he wanted to the bar staff with only a simple nod of his head.

“Oh, it’s okay,” Ant shot back, trying to execute a graceful exit from this embarrassing situation. “I’m with my friends,” he pointed over to the corner that he wished he had never left.

Both Danny and Bryony looked over in the direction Ant was pointing, before Danny took the cold, frosty beer he had been handed by the bar staff and passed it over to Ant. “And now you’re with us,” Danny stated uncompromisingly.

Danny must have been something of a big deal around here, for he led them both to boothe that had been reserved for them in a quieter, more exclusive zone in the bar. Bryony slipped in first and Danny raised his hand politely for Ant to follow her next, before he sat his large, warm body down next, wedging Ant in like a prisoner; trapping him in place until he would eventually decide that Ant could go back to his friends.

“So, you’re fucking Bryony too?” Danny smiled, as if this situation was amusing and not eye-wateringly cringe-inducing.

Ant wanted the ground to swallow him up. Now that he was sitting next to Bryony’s date, the idea that Bryony would choose him over a strapping guy like Danny seemed utterly preposterous. “I guess you could say that,” he mumbled, making only fleeting eye contact with the enormous man.

“He’s cute,” Danny suddenly called across to Bryony. “I like him.”

Ant didn’t know where to look. Was Danny being sarcastic, or was this part of his game?

“Of course he is!” Bryony giggled back. “I don’t just fuck anyone, you know?”

Danny threw back his head and sank the fresh beer in his giant hand, before nodding to someone collecting bottles and silently ordering another. Then, as if to assert himself even more, he slipped his large hand over Ant’s shoulders and continued talking to him like he owned him entirely. 

Ant tried not to misread the situation. This could still all end in him getting beaten up by a jealous lover if he started taking the wrong cues. Still, his heart was beating fast at the idea that Bryony’s other boyfriend was actually into him. It had been a couple of years since he’d had a threesome with another guy, but Danny’s looks and confident demeanor were exciting him in ways that he had never known before.

“How do you feel about us taking your little project home with us tonight?” Danny asked Bryony whilst simultaneously adjusting his crotch, as if a huge erection had suddenly filled it.

“Sure,” Bryony smiled; her eyes twinkling at Danny’s playfulness; clearly the quality that she most loved about him.

“What about you?” Danny grunted into Ant’s ear. “You wanns come back to my place? I should warn you though, I’m… I’m no gentle lover!”

Ant allowed himself to look Danny in the eyes. The offer was indeed genuine, and as he felt the big man’s hand slide onto his thigh, there was only ever one answer he was going to give. The big man stood and graciously waited for Ant to stand too. Then he took Bryony’s hand and led them both to the back door of the bar that Ant suddenly realised the man must have owned. All three of them then slipped into a chauffeur diven car, where their horny hands began exploring each other all the way back to Danny’s apartment.

“Let’s see what I’ve got in the refrigerator,” Danny growled as soon as the door closed and he’d ripped off his shirt to reveal his incredibly ripped torso. He began striding off to his kitchen area whilst an overexcited Bryony stumbled and kissed Ant erotically all the way to the couch. 

“You’re in luck!” Danny cried, carrying an enormous double height cake towards them, decorated with the words, ‘Happy Birthday Mom’. He placed it down and popped open a beer for Ant.

“We’re not eating your mom’s birthday cake, are we?” Ant asked, imagining how much a cake like this had probably cost.

“Of course not,” Danny smirked. “You’re going to eat it.”

“But…” Ant began to protest.

“First rule of getting laid, my friend,” Danny cut him off straight away. “Always give the lady what she wants to see,” he nodded over at the horny Bryony who looked keen to watch her paunchy lover start to eat. She undid the last button on Ant’s shirt and spread the material out, revealing his fattened stomach. With that, Danny grabbed a handful of cake, smearing his hand across it like it was of no consequence at all. “Come on, buddy. It’s your time to shine,” he laughed, pressing his large fingers into Ant’s already gaping mouth, having just seen the size of Danny’s hardness, pushing against his designer pants. 

Bryony moaned immediately and Danny chuckled, feeling Ant starting to suck the icing from his fingers. Onwards Danny went, taking handfuls and handfuls of cake and pressing it towards Ant, rubbing the icing onto his nose and smearing it across Ant’s swollen tummy. It was indeed an entirely bizarre situation, and yet, Ant had never felt more aroused in his life. 

“You see, babe,” Danny nodded over to Bryony. “Your chubby boyfriend likes it.”

By the time they were making it into the bedroom, an overindulged Ant was more than pumped up ready for what was to come next. He’d never in his life been penetrated by a guy, yet there was now nothing he wanted more. He slid off his underwear and finally presented his naked, oversized rear just as he had been ordered to. He couldn’t deny that it felt more than a little uncomfortable to start with. However, with Bryony’s hand servicing his needs at the same time, Ant was soon climaxing with a force that he knew most people would never experience in their entire lives.  

“I see Bryony’s gone already,” Danny chuckled, striding back into the bedroom the next morning, having just done a quick check of his apartment whilst completely naked. “She does that a lot. “I’ve never known a girl so good at sneaking out in the middle of the night.”

Ant groggily opened his eyes. The smell of sweet sugar filled his nostrils and he realised the icing that had decorated his body during their kinky threesome was now smeared aross the sheets. “I’m so sorry!” he gasped, feeling suddenly sticky and gross. “It’s everywhere!”

“Yeah, it is!” Danny laughed, starting to rub his dick and bring it back to life. “Last night was fucking hot, huh? I’ve never fucked one of Bryony’s boyfriends before.”

Ant looked over and smiled. “You enjoy fucking the competetion?” he joked. He could perhaps understand everything Danny had done last night, feeding and fucking Ant for Bryony’s thrill. Yet, Bryony was no longer even here and he was still coming onto him.

“I’ve ordered in some food for your breakfast,” the man smirked, jumping onto his bed and lying on his side; every one of his muscles popping beautifully. “You’re going to stay here and let me feed it all to you,” he teased, pulling with one arm around Ant’s hip to drag him effortlessly towards him, before gently teasing the chubby boy’s dick back to life.

“Oh, I am, am I?” Ant asked, feeling the blood rushing to his crotch. He’d never been fucked by someone before last night and in doing so, he felt like he had surrendered something to Danny that he could never get back. That thought in itself, was enough to get his stomach rumbling for whatever Danny wanted to put in it.

Ant felt different over thenext few days. Up until last week, he could never imagine anyone invading his thoughts as much as Bryony had. But was that because he hadn’t met Danny yet? The way Danny had taken charge and dominated him had been the stuff of his most elusive dreams. But, more than that, Danny was an open book who wasn’t afraid to say what he liked and what was turning him on. 

Bryony, on the other hand, was an enigma, with an agenda that was almost unfathomable. She messaged Ant when she wanted him and never any more. Whereas Danny had messaged several times a day, keeping Ant hard all week with all of the kinky things he said he wanted to do to him when he saw him next.

“Bryony’s trying to fatten you up. You do realise that, don’t you?” Danny asked him the following weekend as they met up for a coffee. “That’s what she means when she calls you her ‘project.’”

“I figured something like that,” Ant nodded, taking a bite out of the muffin Danny had bought him.

“I saw the stretch marks on your stomach. She’s doing a pretty good job by the looks of things,” Danny grinned wickedly, leaning his head to the side, as if that gave him a better view of the rounded pot belly Ant was acquiring in his middle.

“A pretty good job,” Ant nodded, begrudgingly agreeing.

Danny raised his eyes, seemingly surprised by Ant’s response. “Do you think I could do a better job?”

Ant knew he wouldn’t be standing up any time soon, and that was just as well. What was it about Danny that just got him so incredibly aroused? “Maybe,” he replied coyly, not quite understanding why this whole scenario was turning him on so much.

“Maybe,” Danny chuckled, repeating Ant’s response back to himself. He shook his head, as if insulted that Ant hadn’t agreed with him. “Do you even have any comprehension of how many calories I pushed down your throat the other night with that cake? I’m going to fatten you up. I’m going to put a great big belly on you, Fatso!”

Ant’s eyes widened and he looked around, suddenly very aware of how public a setting this was.

Danny simply laughed. “Am I embarrassing you?” he teased, stretching his big, muscular body out, like his outstanding physique wasn’t already attracting enough attention. “I love that! You’re such a cute little fatty when you’re embarrassed!”

That was the moment Ant realised that Danny was completely without any hangups or shame. If he wanted to take Ant and make him his own, he would do. And Ant’s resolve to resist him was rapidly ebbing away.

Ant didn’t speak to Bryony about his meet-ups with Danny in the coming weeks, and he sensed that Danny was keeping it quiet as well. Perhaps that’s what gave the whole thing an additional layer of mischief for them both. Ant lavished attention on Bryony and yet, he secretly wished that it was her other boyfriend that was playing with his dick instead. The more time he spent around Danny, the more tame the situation with Bryony seemed to become. She simply didn’t have that spark of domination or hedonism that Ant found so wildly intoxicating in Danny. A fuck with Danny was the most satisfying experience he had ever known. A fuck with Bryony, less so.

As Ant’s older sister dutifully produced a grandchild for their parents, Ant sensed their disapproval of him shift into bewildered disappointment. When was he going to bring home a nice girl for them to meet? Someone he would settle down with and start a family?

“You know, you’ve got to stop getting take-out every night,” his mother complained.

“I don’t get take-out every night,” Ant sighed, knowing that his much larger belly was about to crop up in conversation once again.

“Well, you’re clearly doing something wrong. You’re starting to look like your Uncle George with that big tummy.”

Ant sighed. It had never taken much for him to feel like the black sheep of the family, but now he was starting to look so much different to them all as well. The arrival of his pointed nipples had seemed to occur overnight, and a little puddle of fat was starting to appear under his chin. “Some people like this chunky look,” he shot back defiantly.

“They really don’t, darling,” his mother scoffed back. “No woman wants to wake up next to that,” she poked at the firm, rounded pot belly on her son.

Ant laughed. He was never going to get the approval of his mother, so why try? “Trust me, mom,” he smirked, heading over to the cookie jar. “You’re dead wrong about this one.”

Bryony’s calls were getting fewer and further between, leaving Ant wide open to the forceful whims of Danny. The guy’s confidence was inspiring and when Ant was with him, he felt very much within the clutches of someone wielding an extreme power over him.

“What’s the most fattening thing on your menu?” Danny would ask wherever they went out together; enjoying watching the chub squirm as he explained without a hint of shame that he was very much deliberately trying to make Ant fatter. He would create scenarios where he could take things further, once spending an insane amount of money on a new suit for Ant, just so that he could explain to the tailor that he needed something that would still fit the fattening Ant for an imaginary wedding in six months time.

“As you can see, he tends to gain weight in that chubby rear of his, and his gut keeps pushing out further and further. In general, he puts on about five pounds a month. So…” he pretended to do the math, “...I’ll need something that’ll still work with another 30lbs of blubber on his frame.” 

The tailor stuttered and mumbled through it all as Ant stood there, watching Danny having his fun, seeing both of them cringe with embarrassment. However, the rewards when Ant got home were more than enough to make up for it.

Numbers seemed to be a bit part of Danny’s motivation and he had talked endlessly about the day when Ant would finally reach three hundred pounds. He spoke about it as though it were a forgone conclusion that Ant would get there in a matter of weeks, and his prediction turned out to be exactly right. Due to his extreme height, Ant had always been used to people being surprised at how heavy he was. Even at his slimmest in college, he had been just a little more than 190lbs. But hitting three hundred had turned Danny on like never before, ejaculating into Ant’s mouth with a force and volume he had never known.

From that point on, Ant had really started to feel his obesity taking hold; or perhaps it was simply his laziness taking over. Everything took that little bit more effort, whilst the thigh rubbing and sweating had become a part of everyday life. His width and mass was catching him off guard, particularly when he tried to squeeze his oversized rear through a tight spot. The fat had begun spreading a little more evenly across his body, finally hitting his arms and neck for the first time. But no matter how awkward his shape appeared, Danny still couldn’t seem to get enough of him, very quickly shifting from talking about making Ant three hundred pounds, to suddenly fantasising about four hundred.

It wasn’t that Ant had surrendered entirely to Danny’s desires. After a weekend away with some of his old college friends, he’d started to realise just how much fatter and out of shape he had become since his studying days; constantly needing to sit down after all the walking they had done. At that point, he’d secretly joined a gym and had aspirations to get back in shape. But even after paying for a six month subscription, Ant had only found the motivation to go twice. It had been a stupid waste of cash that would have been better spent on upgrading his clothes which continued to stretch and tighten, making him nervous to bend down in work.

When Ant’s landlord had put his rent up, he’d seriously considered the idea of moving back in with his parents. But when he’d mentioned this to Danny, the big man had had very different ideas altogether. He’d moved swiftly, getting Ant a very nice, plush apartment in a building he owned not far from his own. He seemed to relish the opportunity to do this for his lover, insisting that all he wanted in return was for Ant to use a little more of his new disposable income to feed his greedy appetite with a few extra take-outs each month. It was all so perfect. Here, the elevator actually worked, it was closer to his workplace and he was within easy reach of a constantly horny Danny.

After three months in the new place, Ant’s weight was creeping up faster than ever. On a day-to-day basis, he wasn’t especially noticing it. However, in work, his desk chair was squealing in agony as he parked his heavy rear down, or shifted his weight in it; garnering him looks of irritation from his colleagues.

With an easing on his finances, Ant had developed a taste for different beers, tasting many from around the world. It was a hobby that Danny had been able to indulge him in, owning several bars around the city and sourcing large quantities of the chub’s favorites at no cost. 

“Have you heard from Bryony lately?” a naked Ant asked, gorging himself on all the pizza Danny had brought over with him.

“A couple of weeks ago,” Danny mumbled disinterestedly back. “Why?”

“She’s not replied to me in weeks,” Ant complained. “She’s not even been over to check out my new place.”

Danny gave a chuckle, like he was entirely unsurprised by this. He reached his large hand down and patted the great shelf of belly fat that Ant now had at three hundred and forty five pounds. “I think you may be getting a bit too fat for her these days,” he laughed with pride.

It had been a reflex that Ant couldn’t help, but he knew that Danny had seen it. At being told he was ‘too fat’ for Bryony, his dick had spasmed and dribbled slightly in arousal, making him flush red with embarrassment.

“What was that?” Danny asked with mocking laughter. “Did you just get harder when I said that?”

“No…” Ant mumbled in an attempt to recover.

“I’ve made you too fat for Bryony…” Danny whispered into his ear, keeping a keen eye on Ant’s crotch as he did so. Sure enough, the instinctive bounce and pulse of Ant’s erection happened again.

“Stop!” Ant chuckled with laughter, embarrassed by how easily Danny had gained an insight into the inner workings of his mind.

“Are you turned on because you’re all mine now? The fact that you know that I’m not going to stop making you fatter and fatter and fatter…?”

Ant sighed as Danny expertly took hold of his hardness and began stroking it. He relaxed into it and closed this eyes. So what if Danny knew this control and ownership of him turned him on so much? It was always an inevitability that he would find out some day. He moaned aloud, letting Danny know that he was enjoying his work. He didn’t even notice the cream cake coming towards him until it was smashing against his mouth; cream spreading up, even into his nostrils.

It was amazing what you could do with money. When Ant’s weight gain had stalled a few weeks’ later, Danny had brought a nutritionist over with him one evening. Ant had no idea how much the guy was paying him: double or triple his usual rate? He’d assumed a nutritionist would find it immoral to sit there and listen to a three hundred and sixty pound fat man list all the foods he liked, whilst he wrote them all down and tried to think of ways to combine them in order to restart another massive weight gain. 

The whole time, Danny sat with his huge arm over Ant’s shoulders, as if comforting and supporting him through this process, like some sort of therapy. It was Danny who asked all the questions, explained in detail when Ant appeared to be most hungry during the day and the periods in which his gains had happened most rapidly. The meeting was deadly serious; enough so that Ant didn’t feel his usual embarrassment that he experienced when Danny put him through situations like these. Mostly, he was in awe at how much detail and attention Danny had put into his gains so far; listing with such precision the ingredients for weight gain shakes he’d made for Ant in the past and the patterns of Ant’s behaviour that usually led to the best results.

By the time the nutritionist left, Danny held several pages of notes in his hand and looked at Ant seriously. This was happening. There wouldn’t be one single piece of advice that he wouldn’t be following. Very shortly, Ant was going to experience a very sudden, a very serious, and very extreme weight gain.

Part of Danny’s plan was to take Ant on a two week vacation with him; a cruise through the Carribean, with every manner of luxury included. It was the opportunity of a lifetime to experience such a vacation, and Ant had a sense that he didn’t want to waste a single moment of it. Having Danny with him for two whole weeks was something he never thought he would be treated to. He expected that, after a couple of days, the guy’s interest would inevitably turn to one or more of the beautiful, attractive women on the ship; especially given the way that they were ogling him as Danny strutted about by one of the several swimming pools onboard. However, the reality was somewhat different. Danny was horny from the moment that they set off for the port and he remained so for the entire time. So openly affectionate with him, Ant got used to feeling the kinky guy’s hand resting on his increasingly bulbous rear as they were moving around the many different areas of the ship. It helped Ant to have the sense that he belonged to Danny; only heightening his already ravenous appetite.

Those two weeks seemed to change everything. Not only had Ant experienced a rather sudden and dramatic tightening in all of his clothes, but he had actually found himself falling for Danny in a very real and personal way. He sensed that Danny had rather special feelings for him as well, although he knew they were perhaps never truly compatible. When Ant compared himself with the other people he knew Danny fucked, he realised that he was the only one who lacked that playful, mischievous quality that Danny found so appealing; Bryony being a key example of someone with the type of ‘spark’ that Ant simply lacked.

“Thanks for everything these last two weeks,” Ant mumbled; the car steadily moving towards his apartment as they arrived back in the city. “I’ve really enjoyed every minute of it.”

“Me too!” Danny smirked, playing with Ant’s hair and stroking the little double chin that appeared more pronounced than ever on his lover.

“I’m not sure how I’m going to fit into my work pants tomorrow morning,” he chuckled, secretly dreading the inevitable fight he was going to have with buttoning himself up.

“Just keep carb-loading before bed, like the nutritionist said,” Danny nodded, seeing that they were already on Ant’s street and sweeping his large hand over the bulk of Ant’s extensive gut one last time before the fat man would leave the car and be handed his bags by the driver.

“What are you doing tonight?” Ant asked, trying to prolong their time together; even just a few seconds.

“I’m not sure,” Danny shrugged. He was always so busy. Even during the vacation there had been times when the man had disappeared for an hour or so in order to handle business matters. “I have a girl who wants to come over, so I’ll probably be with her.”

The thought cut through Ant like a knife. “Bryony?” he asked, trying to remain casual.

“No, not Bryony,” Danny laughed, seeming to have gone off her over the last few weeks.

The door was opened for Ant, his bags waiting on the sidewalk for him: The end of the ride.

Back upstairs in his tiny apartment, Ant felt the blues washing over him. Not only was the perfect vacation over, but the man he had fallen for was already back on his cell phone, arranging his next hook up. Was this what his life was going to be like from now on? Passing from one kinky fat boy lover to another. Until, like Bryony, he became too boring, or unattractive to them, then have to start all over again? That wasn’t what he wanted. It wasn’t what he deserved. 

He looked at himself in the mirror; a handsome 6’5 man, with a full, rounded belly and wide, fat rear. That morning, before breakfast, he had weighed in at more than three hundred and eighty five pounds. His blubbery chest was starting to come in beautifully and the double chin was now more striking than it had ever been before. He pulled his head back and observed the wedge of fat that was begnnning to creep around the back of his neck; spectacular. But more than that, he was greedy and lazy; completely converted to this hedonistic lifestyle that Danny found so arousing to observe; the manner in which he wanted him to live. So why wasn’t he here now, living it with him? Enjoying all this with him? Working towards the next hundred pounds of pure fat to add to his body?

It was then that Ant decided what he wanted to do. It was all or nothing; playing for the win, or nothing at all. Danny was about to see that Ant really did have that ‘spark’ inside him after all.

A few hours later, Ant was taking a deep breath, just outside the door to Danny’s apartment. Then, with the key Danny had accidentally left in his apartment six weeks ago, Ant charged inside, carrying the three boxes of pizza and bag of treats he had picked up on the way over. Although he tried not to look at them, he caught sight of Danny with an unknown, slender girl, making out on his couch, all dressed up after a night at some fancy restaurant. Ant pretended not to care, simply making his way over to the kitchen area to set his things down. He reached into the freezer and pulled out the expensive ice cream that Danny kept in and helped himself to a spoon from the drawer, throwing off the lid as if to have a light snack before starting his three pizzas.

“Wha…What are you doing here?” Danny asked, running over in shock and leaving his beautiful date looking completely perplexed on the couch. “What are you wearing?”

Ant grinned. It had been an embarrassing subway ride over here, but he was glad that Danny had immediately noticed the extreme tightness of his sweatpants and t-shirt that hadn’t fit for the last fifty pounds. “I got hungry, so I thought I would come over.” He looked over at Danny’s date and called across. “This guy has the best ice cream in the world! He buys it in for me because it’s super fattening.”

Danny made to try and stop him, but seemed to realise the futility of it the moment Ant began lifting his shirt off and digging into the ice cream with a lustful hunger. “I’m sorry about this,” he called back to his date, despite appearing to be holding back the urge to laugh as he covered his face with his enormous hands, simply watching the blubber on Ant’s body jiggle and sway in full view as he went back in for another scoop. Then, out came one enormous slice of pizza, which Ant began feeding to himself.

“I’m sorry, but who are you?” Danny’s date asked, finally getting up and standing next to Danny with a possessive hand on his shoulder.

“Sorry, did Danny not mention me?” Ant asked, reaching his greasy hand out for her to shake. “I’m Ant. I’m Danny’s little piggy project.”

At this, Danny cracked up and laughed.

“I’m sorry, what?” his date asked, now completely unsure about which one of them to look at.

“I’m Danny’s Fat Boy,” Ant went on, grabbing the underside of his belly and jiggling it. “Danny wants to fatten me up to five hundred pounds as fast as possible. That’s why he buys me all of this food. We just got back from a two week cruise where he absolutely stuffed me all day and all night long.”

“This is…” the girl grumbled, feeling like Ant was playing around with her. “Danny, what on Earth is going on here?”

Danny simply laughed, his face full of joy from the embarrassment of this situation. He went to speak, then laughed again, before finally shaking his head and replying: “Well, I guess it’s like he says. Ant’s my little piggy project!”

“Can I ask you a serious question?” Ant went on, moving from behind the counter and pointing at his stomach. “Which of these new stretch marks do you think looks the cutest? Danny loves this angry looking one here.”

Danny was almost creasing over with amusement now, watching his date’s confusion and impatience starting to boil over. She looked at him expectantly, waiting for an explanation. But when one was not forthcoming, she grabbed her purse from the kitchen island and stormed out, throwing the door behind her.

“She’s a feisty one!” Ant chuckled, as they both jumped from the banging of the door.

“Well, can you blame her?” Danny laughed, seeing the obese intruder beginning to take down another huge slice of pizza. “You gatecrashed our date with your ice cream and fast food.”

“I think my huge belly might have had something to do with it as well,” Ant joked, grabbing a wedge of stomach fat and jiggling. “Plus that little bit where I mentioned being a piggy project.”

Danny laughed again from the memory of it. “Yeah!” he nodded in approval. “Where the fuck did that come from?”

“Dunno,” Ant shrugged. “Maybe I’m just sick of waiting around and wanted to grab your attention in the best way I could think of.”

“Trust me, Fat Boy,” Danny smirked, looking at the huge size of Ant. “No one can get away with ignoring you these days!” He reached out and grabbed the discarded t shirt that Ant had been wearing. “Did you come all the way over here wearing this? It barely goes below your belly button these days!”

“It’s my favourite shirt. I’m not going to just stop wearing it just because it no longer fits,” Ant replied defiantly back.

Danny exhaled with a look of pure bliss. “Oh shit, man…you’re just so fucking perfect! I love you! I love you so fucking much!”

Ant was momentarily startled. “You really mean that?” he asked. “Because I know that we started this whole thing based on a kinky little threesome. But… I want more.”

“Then why don’t you tell me what you want?” Danny grinned, bemused by Ant’s sudden confidence.

“I want to move in here full time.”

“Sure,” Danny chuckled, looking around the huge space as if he would barely even notice someone else living there. “Fine by me.”

“I want to quit work so that I don’t have to squeeze my fat ass into those tiny little work pants anymore.”

“That’s understandable,” Danny nodded with a quiet delight. “Anything else?”

Ant thought for a moment. This had all gone even better than he could have ever hoped for. Now that he was here, in the moment, he realised that Danny had been waiting for him to step up like this for quite some time.

“I want to get fat. I want you to get me seriously fucking fat, so that we have people staring at us everytime they see us together.” Now Danny’s grin was as wide as Ant had ever seen it. “You’re going to be quite the spectacle,” he nodded in agreement; his erection pressing so clearly up against his pants. “A real lardass!”

“A handsome man like you, dating a huge, fat monster like me… everyone is going to know you’re a feeder.”

“I think you’re right,” Danny beamed, moving in to kiss his very obese lover; seemingly in love with the idea that Ant’s body alone would soon be enough to show the world how kinky and dominant he was with him.

Ant couldn’t help but giggle with excitement. “And, one more thing…” he whispered. “Never ever stop showing me off…” he finished, right before Danny kissed him with unfiltered passion.

“Put this back on,” Danny suddenly commanded, throwing the seriously undersized shirt back at Ant. “Leave the pizzas. I’ll feed them to you in the morning. I’m taking you out to eat.”

“But you’ve only just got back in, haven’t you?” Ant asked in surprise. The whirlwind that was Danny had just changed course once again.

“Yeah. And now I’m taking my piggy project out for a feed,” he laughed, tapping the wide, reulsively chubby rear on his lover in order to speed him out of the door. “There’s no way I’m wasting an outfit like this just feeding you at home.”

Ant rolled his eyes but smiled with pleasure nonetheless, out in the hallway once again.

“It’s time to grow, Fat Boy!”

[canmom]

inadequate definitions of a computer game

I'm a game dev! So I make these things called computer games. But what is it that I'm making exactly?

One simple answer is that a computer game is a string of data. That is, after all, what Steam sends you when you buy a game. The data consists of instructions, art assets, text strings, metadata etc which can be 'executed' by a suitable computer to play that game. And if you copy that data without paying the right person you're a criminal doing a crime etc etc.

But is that data the game? It can't be, because you can have completely different data that is still 'the game'. A Windows build and a Linux build of a game are probably no more similar than any two random binary strings. If you know what you're looking for you could correlate them piece by piece - that string of data represents that texture, which is present in both - but only if you know, and you decompress the data the right way etc etc. But they're the same game, because they do the same thing when you run them.

So it seems a computer game is defined by what it does rather than how it's represented on the computer. This isn't a unique property of computer games - consider how many ways you can encode a movie for example.

But which of the things it does define a given game? Computer games have a remarkable number of pieces to them, and as you soon find out when you're making one, they can all be swapped out pretty freely.

For example, a game's music is often a pretty integral part of 'the experience'. But you can easily mod a game to have different music. We don't usually consider such a modded game to be a different game entirely. Well, it's a matter of degree, it's not absolute... swap out a game's music and it's still the same game. Replace all the models, levels, etc etc as in a 'total conversion' mod and it is a 'new game'. Where we draw the line is ultimately arbitrary...

But this is pretty remarkable, I think. Most artworks in the Age of Mechanical Reproduction(TM) have a pretty fixed form. A movie is a sequence of images and sounds arranged in time, a novel is a specific string of characters. Computer games, though, are flexible things.

A computer game is assembled from lots of little elements. Each of them on their own might be more or less specific, but it's how they're put in relation to each other that gives a game its identity. You glue together these elements in the mind of the audience: play the song City Ruins (Rays of Light) and if you've played the game, it will likely conjure the image of 2B's dress, the feeling dodging the machine lifeforms, the story about the androids and their existential tragedy, all unified in this thing we call "NieR Automata". In another universe, we could imagine that some other elements were tied together in this way - another game that happened to compose the 'same song' with a different aesthetic or mechanics. But the game is beloved because all these things are considered consonant.

Computer games share this in common with film, comics, etc etc. - they're all combinations of other art forms. But computer games have this extra thing that's more or less unique to the medium, the element of direct interaction with some kind of mutable 'state' inside the computer.

At a lower level of abstraction, when you interact with a computer game, data is sent from a controller (keyboard etc) to be read by the game, which modifies some stored state in computer memory; another part of the program 'reads' that state and displays pixels on the screen. Which means there is this separation between the presentational aspect and the 'mechanics'. You look the screen and see a human running but I, the game developer, can 'know' that what's 'really' going on is that a capsule collider is moving across a plane, and we change the position and rotation value based on your input. Then, to 'draw it', another variable holds animation state, and we're sampling the animation data, and doing some IK, and deforming vertices on the GPU, and pumping it through a fragment shader and so on... but all of that graphics stuff could be swapped out and the game would still 'play the same' in the sense that the same inputs would change the game state in the same way with the 'same outcome'. There are even some games, like NetHack and Dwarf Fortress, which support many different 'frontends' which look quite different.

But which is more 'real'? We can't see the game state. We might say that given this game state we update this enum to the value we consider to mean a player has won (let's say... 0b00000010), but the only way that the player knows they've won it is if we display a corresponding message on the screen. That's the only reason we care, as well. The presentation is absolutely integral. All that internal state is just there to make sure that 'you won' and whatever other information is displayed on the screen at the right time to maintain the illusion that 'there is a game' which we're working so hard to convey.

And the state of the program is not exactly what we're trying to convey. The player is not imagining floating point values changing, let alone cpu instructions changing a binary field, or voltages in silicon; they're imagining an object in a location. 'A character jumping.' We are trying to make sure that fantasy is believable. Every layer has to work together to make this happen. Ultimately what we're creating is a rectangle of flickering lights but if we do our job well enough, and it's approached with a willingness to suspend disbelief, it will come across as something like a place inhabited by something like people...

So a game isn't any particular element of its aesthetic presentation, and it isn't the way its data changes in response to interaction. It's some kind of gestalt created from the two, only when a human interacts with the whole system, which allows them to conjure a fantasy in large part designed by another human - and have this external thing reinforce it and make it feel concrete. That's what it's my job to create. What a marvellously abstract entity...

[joelswritingmistress]

You Scare Me Professor (Chapter 57 - The Final Chapter)

Summary: The reader is taking graduate classes at a local university in the wooded upstate New York. She is drawn to her professor, Dr. Joel Miller, though she is also inherently aware that he has something dark about him that she can't quite put her finger on. As the reader's attraction grows deeper, she has to decide whether to endure the danger or run away as fast as possible. 

Pairing: Professor Joel Miller x f!reader 

Healing. There would be an infinite amount of healing to do; though over the next six months there were little victories that aided in the process. Will plead guilty. It was an act that everyone was shocked about and ultimately it spared Carol a lot of extra heartache that she didn’t deserve. The evidence was already stacked against him, but now that Will admitted guilt, Carol would not have to sit on a stand as a defense lawyer grilled her and tried to twist her trauma around. For that, everyone was thankful.

Upon a leave of absence for the remainder of the school year, Carol returned to her job in September. In turn, she received a standing ovation from the student body and gained the full support of the staff there. Again, another part of the healing process. I knew Carol was hurting, but she persevered and thrived in her profession. She was going to make it because that’s what women like Carol did. They rose above. They made it.

“She even started coaching volleyball,” Joel informed me. “She was all-state in her younger days.”

Joel. My Joel. I had no issue calling him that all the time now. I tried to prove him wrong every day, and after a little bit of time and a lot of convincing I think it’s clear to him now that I will forever keep his secrets.

He went into a temporary retirement, and I changed my mind and pursued the rest of my Master’s Degree online. Without having to twist my arm too much, Joel convinced me to travel a bit to get away from New York State for a short while. It was therapeutic, to say the least.

I allowed him to take me to Nashville near the end of the summer, and then over to the Grand Canyon. We spent two weeks exploring California, extending our stays from a little ranch near the Joshua Tree, up to San Diego where I unsuccessfully tried surfing and concluding in wine country as autumn really set in. We hiked Washington State, made our way to Yellowstone Park, spent a few romantic nights on Lake Michigan before making it back to the East Coast in time for Halloween, where we crashed the small city of Salem, Massachusetts. It was the perfect ending, really.

Joel found us some cheap masks, and we blended in with the crowds that literally paraded every downtown street in the area. It was welcomed chaos and we spent the day taking pictures with spooky characters, sharing laughs, having some drinks and waiting in lines to slink into shops littered with folklore and magic.

When a light rain began near nightfall, Joel towed me away to a rooftop bar at the top of our hotel where he’d made a reservation earlier in the day. A gentle pitter-patter on the roof of the outdoor patio where we sat was relaxing. It was soothing music to our ears after a day of crowds.

From where we towered above the world, we could see two lighthouses in the distance over the blackened water. Below, people still gathered by the masses for whatever attraction, bar or restaurant they were seeking - if anyone.

“Here are your drinks.” A waitress came back to our two-person, high-top table with a pair of martinis and I sighed as she walked away.

“Ready to go home?” Joel asked, smirked as he placed a hand gently on top of mine.

My fingers squeezed around his and I nodded. “This has been a wild ride.”

“Happy Halloween.”

I grinned again and raised my glass. “Happy Halloween.” Our glasses tapped together and Joel leaned two-thirds of the way across to peck my lips. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” He kissed me another time and then settled back in his chair. At the same time, we took sips from our drinks and I felt my body relax.

“This has been great,” I told him, unable to think of another adjective. “It really revived me.” I gave a nod and looked him in the eye. “How do you feel?”

“A lot better.” He grinned and added, “Thank you for sticking by me. You had every right to run in the opposite direction. You still do.”

“Dr. Miller,” I said sternly, making him chuckle. “I’m going to need you to stop trying to convince me to leave you. Unless you’re secretly trying to get rid of me.” I sipped on my cocktail and kept my eyes on his.

Joel leaned forward, never breaking eye contact. “I would never want that.”

“Then stop saying things like that,” I ordered lightheartedly, leaning back toward him just a little bit.

“Okay,” he agreed, “I’ll work on it.”

“Thank you.” When he lingered, I leaned forward and left a long, closed-mouth kiss on his lips. When I pulled back he was grinning and I chuckled.

“I’m thinking the exact opposite of that, actually.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I want you to be with me forever.”

I felt a blush form on my cheeks and I couldn’t help but smile wider. When Joel leaned back, reaching a hand into the pocket of his khaki pants, I felt like my body went numb. And then he pulled out a small, black box and pushed it across the table. I was frozen. My eyes were glued to the box and if it was anything other than what I thought it was, I knew it would be like a kid opening an empty box on Christmas.

“What’s this?” My words barely made it out past my lips.

Joel’s eyes remained on mine as he opened the box. My eyes dropped, staring at the silver ring in the center of it. A Diamond sparkled even in the dim lighting.

“Marry me,” he said quietly, linking his hands to mine on either side of the ring.

“Marry me.” I repeated the words to myself to make sure I heard them right. “Marry me.”

“Marry me,” Joel said again.

My gaze found his again and finally the tears that welded up in my eyes were tears of joy. “Okay.” I laughed and cried at the same time, “I’ll marry you.”

“Yeah?” He kept his voice quiet as mine grew louder, drawing a few glances from other patrons in our direction.

“Yeah.” I giggled and put my face in my hands as I continued to cry at the same time. “Yes.”

“Are you sure?”

“Joel!” I popped my face up. “Yes! Yes!” People were staring at us now and Joel looked around the immediate area, giving a wave and a smile before returning his attention to me. He reached for the ring in the small, black box and slid the ring on my finger.

I jumped up from my seat and I couldn’t help it. I rushed around the table and threw my arms around him, pulling him in to kiss him hard.

“I thought Halloween was a fitting night for us to get engaged,” Joel admitted, holding me close as he spoke in my ear. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“It’s perfect.” I whispered back, holding him close as my fingers gripped the hair on the back of his head. “I love you.”

“Did you two just get engaged?” A female voice shouted from a few tables away.

We both pulled back, still holding onto one another and I responded by showing off my ring. “Yes.”

The costume-clad crowd in the immediate area all began to clap and I couldn’t contain my wide, beaming smile and the tears that continued to fall. When a waitress got wind of it, she brought us over a bottle of complimentary champagne.

“I know it hasn’t even been a year since we’ve known each other,” Joel said, “But life is too short to wait. You changed my life, (Y/N). I’ve never loved or trusted someone more than you. I don’t want to ever risk letting that go.”

“I know how you feel.” We shared another kiss and then took our glasses toward the edge of the balcony that overlooked Salem. I couldn’t help but smile to myself.

A breeze passed through and made me shudder, causing Joel to pull me close.

“Any regrets?” He asked.

I smiled up at him. “None, whatsoever.”

**Thank you everyone for following this story. I appreciate everyone reading, reviewing and following. It made it fun to write. This is the longest story I've ever written and it's been fun because people were interacting and guessing whole the killer was and I loved it. It made it great for me, as a writer. So THANK YOU!

@untamedheart81 @suttonspuds @cesspitoflove @michilandcof @grogusmum @morallyinept @akah565 @brittmb115 @magpiepills @poodlebae @gobaaby-blog-blog @mermaidgirl30 @mandojojo @shotgun-shelby @itscatrodriguez-thepearl @macaroni676 @smolbeanzzz @bandluvr97

[greenleaf4stuff]

I saw lot of posts about Hancock and The Ghoul/Cooper Howard meeting which is a cool scenario to think about for sure, but may I present you this:

Hancock and *Norm* meeting

Those two have a surprising amount of similarities in the character arcs/backstories.

[Spoilers for FO4 and the Fallout TV show up ahead!]

Like. They are both guys who knew that something *wrong* was going on around them; Hancock knew that McDonough’s campaign against the ghouls and how Diamond City exiled them was wrong, and later on he disliked how things were going in Goodneighbor before he became mayor. Norm knew there was something up with the ‚vaulties‘ from Vault 32 and later on knew that Vault 33 wouldn’t send out ppl to get his and Lucy’s father back, and that something was going on with vault 32 (or, actually, all the three vaults).

They both felt as if they were cowards when faced with great danger and injustice; Hancock didn’t oppose McDonough’s actions as much as he (felt he) could have and also felt like a coward when thugs beat up ppl in Goodneighbor. Norm felt like a coward for hiding during the attack of the raiders and didn’t follow Lucy into the wasteland, saying he is ‚too chicken‘ to do so.

And then? As a consequence to these injustices, to their own cowardice, they both decided to say ‚fuck that‘ and do the right thing, even in the face of massive opposition and everything stacked against them. Instead of backing down or being intimidated, they turned around and used their skills to try and make a change.

Hancock tried to help the exiled ghouls, and later on became a ghoul himself, got inspired by the historical John Hancock, found himself a group of people and took out the thugs in Goodneighbor. And then became mayor of the town – not quite turning it around 180 degrees, but still making the town a safe haven for all the ‚misfits‘ of the wasteland; fellow ghouls, assaultrons, ppl who didn’t think they belonged anywhere else. „Everybody ’s welcome“. An anti-thesis to what his brother stood for in Diamond City.

And Norm, he asks uncomfortable questions. He needles people for information. He finds a temporary ally in Chet, who despite his own cowardice promised to protect Norm for Lucy and helps him to get into vault 32. Norm puts clues together, hacks into terminals, reads, asks further questions – even causes some unrest, especially when it comes to dealing with the imprisoned raiders. He has managed to outsmart everyone around him and find out the secret of vault 31, an act that required courage especially considering Norm cannot just up and leave the vaults. Even if he makes it back to vault 33. He had to know that getting caught would have dire consequences one way or another, and still he persisted in his quest.

And (extra warning – heavy spoilers here!) they both can make some very horrible discoveries about their family members. John Hancock – originally John McDonough – can find out that his older brother, who exiled all the ghouls from Diamond City, has gotten replaced with a synth doppelganger. Probably even before he drove that hate campaign against the ghouls, making Hancock question whether he even hated the ‚right‘ person aka whether he had hated his brother for the wrong reasons all these years.

And Norm finds out that Hank Maclean has been alive before the bombs fell, and got thawed out of cryogenic slumber. That his own father lied to him and Lucy, is part of an ‚elite‘ class of people who manage vaults 32 and 33 while keeping their inhabitants in the dark about their true purpose – to be breeding stock in an attempt to create the perfect managers and re-populate America in their vision. The vision of Vault-Tec.

The person they saw as their family might have just been someone they didn’t truly know.

They share a lot of similiarities, and I think they would get on like a house on fire.

This is just headcanons from this point onwards, but I can see Hancock appreciating and valuing Norm’s perception and intelligence, as well as his subtle way of communicating that he knows more than he lets on. And I can see Norm understanding Hancock’s approach to his town and how he leads it, how he makes sure that his people are safe. (Remember, Norm made the suggestion to kill the captive raiders because they killed his fellow vault dwellers and kidnapped his father – his and Hancock’s brand of justice might not be that much different.)

I also think they could have epic verbal spats and very, very witty banter together.

If Norm had Hancock in the vault and voiced his suspicions to him, Hancock would have followed him and helped. No questions asked. He likely would have been pissed on Norm’s behalf too.

And if Norm had been there when Hancock planned to overthrow the mayor in Goodneighbor, Norm might not have taken up arms, but he would have used his skills to take care of turrets, terminals or locked doors/safes. And he wouldn’t be afraid to give Hancock a piece of his mind if he felt the mayor was too far up his own supply of chems.

Tl;dr – I think there are a bunch of parallels when it comes to Hancock and Norm Maclean and therefore them meeting could turn out incredibly interesting. Also I think both characters are really neat.

[thewriterrr]

The hating game ~ Chris Sturniolo

Chris Sturniolo x Reader

In which you are working in LA and have to work alongside the Sturniolo Triplets. Nick and Matt seem happy to have you there, but Chris on the other hand, isn’t happy to have you there at all.

The two of you form a tense relationship built on disdain and dislike, often arguing and making remarks at one another. But when the two of you are alone, you realise there is more to the tension.

**slight angst, cussing, tension!, enemies?**

You had never imagined yourself living in LA, much less the lavish lifestyles and influencer heavy population. Perhaps it wasn’t a crowd you particularly slotted into, but you didn’t mind. You had gotten yourself into a position where you could afford a studio apartment in Los Angeles, albeit not extravagant, LA was the place of endless opportunities. With an impressive, top-level degree in media and marketing at the age of twenty-one, your skillset was much needed across the city, and it wasn’t difficult to find work.

That’s how you ended up where you were today. A management team had come across your work and contacted you. After all, your pay-grade was a stark contrast to others living in LA, you didn’t require an eye-watering amount of money, plus your hours where flexible.

It had come from the Sturniolo Triplets management team. Three guys from Boston, catapulted into fame quickly, now balancing content creation alongside brand deals, tours and interviews. So that’s where you came in. You were a helping hand when it came to preparing the triplets for interviews or any public appearance where they didn’t control what was put out into the digital world. You helped with their communication, topic avoidance, and how to approach media outlets that for some reason gained sick pleasure from warping the words of celebrities and painting them in a bad light. You were there to make sure that didn’t happen.

Nick and Matt were grateful for the help and agreed with the management team that your work was beneficent, though the same couldn’t be said for Chris Sturniolo. He wasn’t on board with having another new face on the team, much less being told what to do.

*Flashback to first meeting*

“You know, we can actually handle this shit on our own. What’s the point in bringing more people in for this? We’ve been coping fine.” Chris complained, earning an eye roll from Nick who was stood beside him.

“Our schedules have been crazy lately, Chris, and we have a fuck ton of other things coming up. We need all the help we can get if we want to do this right.” Nick quipped, earning an earnest nod from Matt who fiddled with the car keys looped onto his jeans.

“I agree.” Matt mumbled back lowly, and gestured towards Nick, allying with him.

Chris rolled his eyes, tightening his jaw for a moment as he bit back another remark.

You stood there, awaiting a moment of silence before you parted your lips to speak.

“I’m not here to infringe on anything you guys do, just to be an extra hand when it comes to the work you do outside of your content creation. LA media is pretty unforgiving.” You noted, your fingers pushing back a few loose strands of hair from beside your cheek.

Chris finally turned to look at you, his expression was cold and unwavering, eyes locked onto you as he responded.

“Are you suggesting that we’re gonna do something wrong?” He pressed, earning a whack on the arm from Nick. “What, Nick? She’s pretty much implying that if we don’t have her around, we’re gonna fuck up and get roasted by LA media.” Chris bitterly added and you furrowed your brows slightly.

Talk about making a mountain out of a molehill, you thought to yourself. This guy is defensive.

“That isn’t what I said,” you defended. “But your management team reached out to me, so I’m here. You don’t have to want me around, but until your management decide that they don’t need me to help you guys anymore, you’ll be seeing me every Monday and Thursday.” You responded in a desperate bid to keep the conversation professional.

“And we’re glad to have you.” Nick chimed in and shot Chris a warning look, enough for Chris to purse his lips and remain silent, but his eyes betrayed him as he looked at you with disdain.

Matt offered a small smile and a nod, though the air remained heavy.

*Present day*

Since then, it had been almost two months. You wished you could say that the tension between you and Chris had eased, but in fact, it was the opposite. It had worsened. Whenever the two of you were alone, the tension could be cut with a knife until Chris would decide to make a snide remark about your being-there. You held your own though, eight weeks in and any essence of professionalism you carried went out of the window when you were around Chris, often biting back until it left the two of you locked in a death stare.

On the flip side, growing closer with Nick and Matt had been nothing short of a privilege, and working with genuinely, authentic nice guys was a perk to your job. With the frequency in which you saw them, for hours at a time at least twice a week, you had formed a light-hearted and banterous bond with the two less bitter brothers.

Standing in the kitchen that belonged to the Sturniolo triplets, you looked over at Nick as he spoke. “Okay so in this interview, I can still be my funny and charming self, but politely avoid any questions regarding…” Nick spoke, listing on from the prior conversation you had with him.

“Exactly. You’re gonna smash this interview, hands down. I know you’ve got it covered.” You said, earning an award-winning smile from Nick. “I’ll talk to Matt when he gets back from the store, if he needs anything. Hey, you might not even need me around much longer.” You smirked at Nick, who gasped and placed his hand to his chest.

“Wouldn’t that be a treat?” Another voice rang through the kitchen as Chris entered, wearing grey sweats that hung loosely on his hips and a black t shirt. Your eyes flickered over him before a soft huff escaped your lips and you rolled your eyes.

“It’s really great when you greet us with your warm presence, Chris.” You muttered as he swung the fridge door open to grab a soda.

“Alright I’m heading upstairs to go over whatever else I need for tomorrow. Don’t be a dick, Chris,” Nick said as he headed out of the kitchen, leaving you and Chris alone.

Chris turned to face you, leaning against the kitchen counter opposite you, his fingers wrapped around a can of soda and his eyes now on you. You looked at him, folding your arms across your chest as you raised your eyebrows.

“What?” Chris asked flatly as he took a sip of his drink.

“You have an interview coming up next week. If you want to stop being stubborn and actually talk about it, we can.” You responded.

Chris looked at you, his eyes didn’t waver, they stayed glued to your face as if he was trying to read your expression. You weren’t the type of person to get nervous beneath the stare of somebody else, but for some reason it was different with Chris. When he looked at you like that, his jaw clenched and eyes low, you felt the familiar knot forming in your stomach that you tried to ignore. Your skin felt like it was warming up and you had to distract yourself from the moment almost instantly, tearing your gaze away from his and looking to another area of the kitchen where Chris wasn’t stood, looking as good as he did.

“I already told you that I don’t need help with this shit. I’m startin’ to wonder if you’re gonna understand that.” Chris spoke lowly, and you could feel his eyes burning into your skin as you pushed some hair away from your neck, exposing the skin.

“You’ve made it pretty clear. But I don’t get paid to stand here and argue with you. It’s been two months, Chris, and it’s tiring.” You complained.

“Well having you around here up my ass trying to tell me how to speak in interviews and shit, is also pretty tiring.” He snapped and you scoffed as you turned your attention back to him.

“I might’ve been gone by now if you weren’t acting like an asshole all of the time.” You retorted, your voice sharp and you could have sworn you saw a ghost of a smirk on Chris’ lips, but you continued anyway. “And if you act in an interview the way you’re acting around me right now, you could fuck up quite a few good things you have going.” You told him, though regretted the way you worded it. But, your point still stood strong.

Chris traced his tongue across his lower lip as he set down his drink, standing up straight from the counter and taking a few steps towards you.

“You’re not gonna talk to me like I’m a fuckin’ idiot, are you?” His voice was more gravelly now, his expression daring as he watched you with close inspection.

As his proximity to you got closer, you could feel your skin heating up and your heart rate quicken, though you fought to keep your expression neutral as you looked up at him.

“I won’t, if you don’t act like one.” You quipped, but your voice wasn’t as steady if you would have liked, it was breathy and unsure.

“You keep runnin’ your mouth like that and you’re gonna regret it.” Chris warned, and with his words, took another few steps closer in your direction until you were closer than the two of you ever had been. He settled both hands on the counter either side of you, his head slightly dipped as he looked at you, awaiting your response.

Your eyes traversed across his bare arms outstretched either side of you as his hands gripped the edge of the kitchen counter, before you looked up at him, your lips slightly parted as you tried to think of a response. With Chris being this close to you, close enough for you to smell his cologne, you weren’t sure if your brain was even capable of forming a coherent sentence. His eyes glanced down at your parted lips for a moment, before landing back on your eyes, silently urging you to respond. After a few moments, you gathered yourself just enough to speak.

“If you think I’m scared of your threat, you might want to think again.” You breathed out, and this time, the sly smirk that tugged on the corner of Chris’ mouth was much more evident.

He lifted one hand, pushing some of your hair out of the way of his quest, before he placed his hand on the side of your neck, his thumb tracing lightly across your throat. Your breathing hitched and you could feel goosebumps forming on your arms, the kitchen had suddenly jumped from cold to hot, much like your own temperature. With one of your hands, you wrapped it around Chris’ wrist that was still on the kitchen counter beside you. “Chris,” you warned.

So many lines were being crossed at this point, your brain could hardly catch up with what was happening, but your heart hammering in your chest was enough to tell you that it shouldn’t have been happening. But, by God, you wanted it to be.

Chris lowered his head, and you could feel his soft, slightly damp hair graze across your forehead, as his lips stayed barely an inch away from yours.

“See where that fuckin’ attitude gets you.” He whispered, and you could feel his breath against your lips, emitting a quiet breath from you.

Before you could say anything else, the sound of the front door opening was a rude awakening for the both of you, shaking the moment into reality. Chris stepped away from you and back to the other side of the kitchen, while you stood breathless and wordless.

“Hey,” Matt chimed as he walked into the kitchen, placing a few groceries down onto the counter, looking over at you and then over at Chris.

“Hey,” you responded and mustered a small smile. “Ready to talk about your upcoming interview? Me and Chris just got done talking.” You said. Chris rubbed the side of his jaw with his hand as he looked at his brother, starting to make his way out of the kitchen.

As he approached the doorway to head upstairs to his room, you caught another glimpse of a smirk on his lips.

[dilf-din]

Emergency Contact

Poe Dameron x f!reader (college friends/modern au)

WC: 2700

Warnings: language, harassment mention (not Poe), alcohol mention, all the pining and fluff, only one bed 👀, reader has a nickname

A/N: inspired by the Pierce the Veil song of the same name. I’ve got Poe on the brain, fellas. Golden retriever guy that we all know and love. Let me know if you want a part two?? He’s so fun to write for. Enjoy, my buttered noodles 🫶🏼

PART 2

Your feet dragged through the door to your apartment like they did every Friday at 5:42. You kicked your boots off as the heavy door swung shut behind you, tossing your keys onto the counter, a skittering sound of metal against smooth stone filled your ears. The stagnant air of your apartment was a stark contrast to the biting wind you had navigated on your way off the train. Heat pricked at the back of your neck instantly, prompting you to shrug off your jacket and scarf and hang them on the rack by the door.

August, your orange tabby, jumped onto the counter nimbly, batting at your keys.

“Hey, bud,” you smiled wearily, leaning your forehead down for him to butt against.

You liked your job, but Fridays were your busiest day by far, leaving you too tired to go out with your friends for after work drinks or bar hopping. You usually settled for a documentary and some pizza, pulling up your favorite place on speed dial to put in an order for dinner. While you waited the 25 minutes you knew it would take, you got everything ready so that you could crawl in bed by 9:30, the same routine every weekend.

You stripped your work clothes into your nearly full hamper, knowing you’d have to make a trip to the bottom floor to wash it all tomorrow. You wiped your face clean of any makeup and pulled on your trusty sweatpants that you had stolen from a college fling. Just as you finished scrubbing out your coffee thermos and Tupperware from lunch and setting them up to dry, you heard the familiar buzzing indicating that your pizza was on its way up. Pulling your purse off of the back of one of your barstools, you fished two twenties out of your wallet, noting the frayed edges and thinking it was time to replace it.

You swapped the cash for the pizza, wishing the high school aged kid a good night to which he huffed in reply. With your veggie pizza next to a half empty bottle of wine and a glass, you settled on the couch and switched on your tv. The penguin documentary that made you cry was already pulled up on your home screen, so you selected it and snuggled back into your throw pillow pile. August sat perched on the top of the middle cushion, an indent from his weight already there to welcome his soft body.

The hours ticked by quickly and slowly all at once. As the clock crept closer to 9:00, you found yourself mindlessly scrolling through a dating app, turning up your lip at the unappealing offerings it brought while the local news droned on in the background. The weather girl warned of a some late night snow headed to blanket the city. You paid no mind, knowing you’d be in bed soon enough. It was at that point in the year that you needed to pull your extra quilt down to nestle under at night.

With a sigh, you folded your throw blanket and tossed it over the arm of the couch. You drained the last sip of your wine and gathered your dishes to wait in the sink to join tomorrow’s load. The pizza box fit easily in your near empty fridge. “Lunch for tomorrow,” you thought as your bare feet padded down the chilly wood floor to your room, stopping to crank your heat up by a few degrees.

After moisturizing your face and brushing your teeth, you climbed into bed, ready for another restful night’s sleep, but secretly longing for a break in your routine. You had no idea that interruption would come in the middle of the night.

12:37 A.M.

Your phone buzzing on your night stand pulled you from your sleep. You fumbled for it in the dark, pulling it to your ear without checking the number first.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Ace, it’s me,” an embarrassed voice came from the other end of the line.

“Poe? Is something wrong?”

You haven’t heard from Poe in months, one on one, that is. You two still ran in the same circle with some friends from college, but the two of you were by no means best friends any more. Still, you knew the exact expression on his face and the way his hand was behind his head ruffling through his hair the way it always did when he messed up. The years you spent in each other’s dorms quizzing each other and drinking cheap beer didn’t fade with time. Neither did the parade of girls he always had on his arm, so many you stopped asking for their names. He always said you were different, too good for any of the guys on campus. He didn’t know how much you relished his presence and the smell of his cologne on his collar. Everything started flooding back at once. His laugh cutting across a crowded room, the winks he would send you in a conversation to let you know he heard you, he was still with you even when your quiet comments got swept away.

The sound of his voice brought you back to the present even though you had one foot caught in the past.

“I need some help, Ace,” he hesitated, “I’m in jail. Can you come pick me up?”

“Jesus, Poe. Yeah. Yeah of course, I’ll be right there.”

“You’re too good to me, thank you,” relief flooded his voice.

You kicked off your covers, not even bothering to change into jeans. A quick look out your window revealed that snow had already begun to line the sidewalks below. You pulled your boots and scarf back on over your sweatshirt and pants, stuffing your keys and wallet into your pocket. The elevator was thankfully on your floor. The doors opened quickly to carry you to the bottom floor. You buttoned your coat and drew your scarf over your mouth before stepping out into the New York winter. Flurries and wind stung your eyes as you made your way down the steps to the subway that sat just outside your building.

The ride went quickly. There weren’t many other riders this time of night with this weather. The hum of the car gliding down the rails made a pleasant background noise. There were no hushed conversations or blaring music like during the day.

You arrived at the station, checking the time on your phone to see it was 1:13.

You approached the counter and smiled at the bored looking woman on the other side of the glass. She talked you through the process of picking up your friend, and within three minutes, he was making his way to you escorted by two officers.

He flashed you a toothy grin, his left eye swollen and bruised. One of the officers undid his cuffs and pushed him towards you.

“Thank you gentlemen,” he nodded, earning an eye roll from the pair of men who retreated back out the hallway.

“You don’t have a coat?” you frowned.

“Didn’t have time to grab it,” he shrugged.

You unwound your scarf and draped it over his neck. He smiled once more, softer this time.

“It’s good to see you, Ace.”

He followed you down the stoop into the cold November air. There were about two inches of snow on the ground by this point, nothing compared to the inevitable feet that would pile up in the coming weeks.

“So what happened?” you broke the silence, turning your head to meet his dark eyes.

“I know it looks bad, but it’s not that bad. I was out with some friends and a buddy of mine was way too drunk. Started getting handsy with this chick so I decked him. It turned into a whole thing. We all got kicked out. Me and him got taken in.”’

“Thank you,” you replied.

“What?”

“Thank you. For standing up for a girl. Not enough guys do something when they see shit like that going down.”

The look on his face told you that was unfathomable to him.

“Do you need a place to stay?”

“If you don’t mind. I’m not going back there until tension blows over,” his teeth started to chatter so you picked up the pace. Grabbing his hand, you pulled him towards the station with you.

“C’mon, Dameron, let’s get our hero warmed up.”

The two of you sat nestled on a bench together, personal space be damned, just like when you were teenagers. It wasn’t until you were in the dimmed fluorescent light of the train that you noticed his split knuckles. Deep purples bruises bleeding into raw spots on his right hand. Your fingers traced over the marks with a featherlight touch and he swallowed hard, leaning his head back against the icy window.

“Shit, did that hurt?”

“No, no, you’re good,” he cocked his head to the side to give you a genuine smile. “So how’ve you been? I’m sorry I keep meaning to check in.”

“No, no, it’s okay. Work’s been kicking my ass. I don’t do much besides work, sleep, and eat,” you admitted with a shrug.

“That’s no life,” he scoffed.

“It’s my life,” you responded, “I’m not like you, Poe.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Fun doesn’t befall me at every turn, I don’t have a dazzling personality and tons of friends like you. I do my best to keep my head above water in every social situation. I’m always talked over or ignored. So it’s easier like this, just to bury myself in my work and fade into the background.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“Excuse me?”

“I said that’s bullshit, Ace. That person you described doesn’t sound anything like you. You’re kind and smart and a crazy good karaoke partner,” this drew a laugh from you before he continued.

“You make people better, myself included. So don’t feed me those lines about you not being good enough to have a good life. You don’t want to look back at this time and have everything be a blur. You’ve gotta take risks, stay up late, do something spontaneous.”

“Like pick you up from jail?” you teased.

He sighed and put a hand to his face.

“You always see the best in people,” you murmured at the ground.

“No, I see what people show. You are the best of us, don’t get so down on yourself,” he squeezed your knee twice.

The walls started coming into focus as the train slowed to a stop at the platform under your street. Poe followed you up the steps and into the lobby of your building, thankful to be out of the wind.

“So what awaits me on the other side? You got a boyfriend up there who will be mad to see me?”

You laughed, “No boyfriend, just me.”

“No cute coworker with his eye on you?”

“No?”

“I’m just trying to make sure I won’t have to swing on anyone else tonight,” he smiled cockily, carrying himself with that signature swagger that he always made look effortless.

You stifled a laugh as he followed you off the elevator and to your door. August mewled loudly at your return, curious eyes following Poe’s movements. You pulled your boots off by the door once more, and he followed suit leaving his snow caked shoes next to yours.

“Coffee?” you asked from the other side of the kitchen island, already pulling a fresh filter from the cabinet.

“Yes please,” he called back. He was holding his hand out for August to sniff. “Who’s this handsome guy?”

“Are you looking in the mirror again?” you teased. “Oh, that’s August. We found each other at the beginning of the year.”

“I haven’t been to your place yet, it’s nice,” he remarked looking around.

“You’re welcome to stay as long as you need. If you want to give your guys a few days.”

“I might take you up on that,” he said sheepishly, taking a seat on your couch.

“Here,” you tossed him a bag of frozen peas and he held them against his eye. You crossed the room to sit next to him while the coffee maker bubbled in the background.

“Are you wearing Tommy P’s sweatpants still?” Poe asked with a grin, taking in your outfit for the first time.

“They’re comfy! Nothing else! Besides, he’s married now. Do you think I should call and see if they want them back?”

Poe threw his head back and laughed.

“See, that’s the Ace I know,” he smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling.

“That looks bad,” you knelt forward to take a closer look at his eye, clutching his jaw lightly.

“I’ve had worse,” he murmured. His breath was hot on your cheek, and you realized just how close you were sitting. You pulled back hurriedly, straightening your coasters to keep your hands busy.

“Do you need anything for pain? Advil?”

“Nah, I’ll be alright. That coffee’ll warm me up enough to pass out.”

On cue, the pot beeped a little melody to let you know it was full. You grabbed two mugs and filled them.

“Black?” you called over your shoulder.

“Splash of cream?” he smiled, reciting back your preference.

“Some things never change,” you smiled, carefully handing him the dark blue mug and taking a sip from yours.

The two of you fell into conversation easily, as if no time had passed. You blinked and you were twenty again, tucked into his bottom bunk and laughing until tears fell while he did a dramatic retelling of his encounter with a history professor. You were nineteen and crying on his couch because your date stood you up and how could you be so stupid. His broad shoulders were always the perfect landing pad for your heavy head. You were eighteen and he was clinging to you like a life support on the anniversary of his mother’s death. And now you were twenty five, sharing your couch and a cup of coffee, talking about all the life that had happened since your last long talk. Neither of you could even place when it was. One day, things just got in the way.

He noticed the heavy pull of your eyelids and cut himself off.

“I’m talking your ear off, Ace. Let’s get some sleep. Don’t worry about pulling the couch out, I’ll be fine like this,” he reassured, reaching for the blanket that was draped over the arm still.

“Don’t be silly, just come sleep with me,” you said groggily.

He hesitated.

“It wouldn’t be the first time we shared a bed,” you shrugged.

He switched off the lamp and followed you down the hall.

“I’ve got an extra toothbrush in the drawer, you can have it,” you said. You pulled a fresh pair of sweats and a tee shirt out of your bottom drawer and handed them to him. “Take your time,” you smiled.

“Thanks,” he said softly, excusing himself to the bathroom to the left of your bed.

You crawled under the covers and were out in a second. It was well after four at this point. Some time later, a few minutes you guessed, you heard Poe cross the room and pull the covers up on the other side.

“Do you need a phone charger?” you mumbled.

“Nah, my phone shattered at the bar. I’m gonna have to get a new one tomorrow,” he explained, fluffing your extra pillow and tucking his arm under it.

“Okay,” your eyes closed again.

You were both quiet as sleep blanketed you like the snow on the ground outside.

“Poe?”

“Yeah, Ace?”

“If your phone is broken, how did you find my number?”

“It’s the only one I know by heart,” he said simply.

“Oh.”

“I’ve known it since freshman year.”

You smiled into the dark.

“I’m glad you called me and not someone else.”

“There’s no one else but you, Ace,” he said, voice barely a whisper.

[harrysmimi]

Coffee And Pancakes

Synopsis: One where Harry visits this cafe everyday for this one person he likes (requested)

CW: mentions/slivers chronic pain pls put your mental health first and read with caution if it if something that bothers you. I wrote this because it hit home to me the most combining two requests I got.

Series Masterlist | More of my work

Harry very much liked to visit new cafes in the city everytime. Especially if they served healthy breakfast options.

This Cafe restaurant he goes to particularly caught his special interest, all because of this barista who works there. He saw her the very first day he decided to check out the place, he noticed she was wearing his a crewneck from his old solo merch instantly telling him she was a fan. She also wore a baby green baseball hat to hide the hairnet which he saw every employee wearing. His favourite was her big glasses with dainty frame she wore always.

Since then everytime he visits he liked to watch as she tries not to freak out and take each of his orders, how she stutters even though he orders the same thing everyday he goes there. He liked to talk to her, her name is YN and she works there full-time, he's gotten to know that much about her so far.

But he also remembers her mentioning how Niall once reacted to her video of singing his song on some YouTube channel a few years ago when she was talking about One Direction with her this one very beautiful day. She even suggested he does the same and his fans would love to see that.

Today he was accompanied by his friends and his sister as they were going to catch up after a long time. Gemma has been bugging him to hang out with her so he took out the day for her as his usual schedule consists of going on a walk, after a shower head to the cafe and go straight to studios. He needs to give his family some time too!

Though it made him a teeny bit upset he couldn't talk to YN. But there was always another day, unless she decided to quit her job for some reason. He also really enjoyed his day with his sister and their mum also joined them later.

......................................................................

It wasn't until the next four days Harry got to see YN again, apparently she wasn't there for work for some reason. It was a friday so he had to wait the weekend but his heart was broke again he didn't find her there on Monday either. He was again disappointed today thinking he wasn't going to see hee there and her friends didn't know when she'd be returning, he didn't ask that because that would be creepy but he over heard a few of her friends talking about her.

Did she quit her job?

He still needed a coffee so he still went the cafe and planned to directly head to studio, call Mitch and Ben early today. Just as he entered the shop he could take a few peaks at the same baby green hat he saw everyday by the coffee machines. Harry's tummy started fluttering with butterflies as he did. He ordered his usual coffe and Pancakes with extra maple syrup.

"Hey you," he heard her voice chirp as she loaded the espresso machine.

"Hey you," he couldn't help the smile which dared to take over his features, "haven't seen you here in a while, how are you?"

"I'm good, I am good," she nodded still getting on with her work, she took out almond milk from the fridge as she poured it into the metal jug and proceeded towards the frother. "How are you? I wasn't in for work for two days, graduated last Friday."

"Oh, congratulations!" he was quite amused by the new information, "what did you major in?"

"In Indian classical music, minored in music history." She seemed very proud of herself though he was quite unsure if it was the degree she was talking about or the pretty design he poured onto the latte she just made, a little swan he could make it out to be.

"Impressive." He commented earning a soft puff of giggle from her. He swore his heart broke into a million pieces then and then watching that smile and giggles of her voice.

"Just a minute." She excused herself and called out the customer who's order was just made, and proceeded to make his coffee.

Harry truly didn't know how to take the conversation ahead. He didn't wanted to ask her what her future plans are with music, it truly had him fascinated because well he's a musician himself!

"Here are your pancakes with extra maple syrup and coffee." YN gave Harry his order, "enjoy!"

"Thank you so much, love." He smiled taking the tray from her as he went to his original spot next to coffee station where she's usually doing her job. He saw she'd drawn a little smily at the end of his name on the cup, something she'd do here and there to show off her doodling skills.

The cafe was silent, there was no ruckus by angry entitled customers as he read his book and indulged his breakfast. It wasn't until a teenage couple walked in and he noticed a bit of banter going on at the cash counter.

"Come on, you drive a fucking tesla, how is one coffee going to affect you?" The young guy said, YN was stood right there with nothing but anger and disappointment on her face.

"I work here, get out Asher." YN sighed, "Ashlyn do you still want your order?"

"Yes, please." The girl nodded and paid for her order.

"I'm going to tell Mumma about." The guy warned her.

"Go on," YN rolled her eyes, "I am not giving you any free coffee, you're old enough go get a fucking job and stop being a fucking brat that you've grown to be!" She turned to the girl, "Ashlyn your order will be ready in five."

......................................................................

Now it's been almost a month to that situation but it's been on Harry's mind all this time, even though he knows It was none of his business and he's seen her deal with rude customers before but he reckoned the teen was her brother by the conversation.

YN on the other had have had enough from her family, especially her little brother. Being the second oldest of six children she has always been taken for granted. But she carried on with her work that day pushing to take care of later when she's visiting her therapist on the Friday.

Harry was sat in the cafe this morning like usual, eating away his pancakes. Promise, he doesn't eat those everyday, it's only for when his mood strikes!

"Hey Harry!" A voice called from behind catching his attention. It was his friends Kyle who he's known since school.

"Hey," Harry greeted him, "haven't seen you in a long time." They shared their usual bro-hug and sat down.

"Yeah, I've been busy lately with the restaurant we just opened." Kyle said. "Never thought you'd be the kind to go out to get breakfast, how do you like it here so far?"

"Oh, I've been coming here from last month or so." Harry smiled sheepishly not wanting to share the exact reason why he's been going there for that long, "it's quite nice in here, the staff's amazing, so is the food. You should try their muffins."

Kyle chuckled, "this is my mum's cafe, I come by to check in on stuff when she can't." He shared, "and yes the muffins are our speciality here. Grandma's recipe."

"Ah!" He smiled, finding it amusing, "no wonder why it's so good then! Gran Bunny makes the muffins."

Harry felt nostalgic. He'd go over to Kyle's whenever and his grandma would have something or other to force feed him and his friends as kids. He doubts she'd spare any of them even now that they're all grown ups pushing their thirties. Some of Harry and Kyle's would admit to online go over to the boy's house for food which he did not mind, his family loved having people over.

"Have you been to Holmes Chapel  lately?" Harry asked, be hasn't been there in a long time either.

"Yeah, I was there last week to see Granny." Kyle shared and they talked, catching up. Harry kept stealing glances at YN as she went about her work as usual catching his attention here and there. "Have you got a crush on her, mate?" Kyle said catching all of Harry's attention at once.

"No," he shook his head, "why'd you say that?"

"You're literally staring at her."

"No I'm not." Harry refused to admit it to his friend who's technically also YN's boss.

"She's a nice girl, a little too young for you I'd say. But you can try asking her out if you wish." Kyle teased his friends sat in front of him, slumped on his chair poking at the last buts of pancake on his plate drenched in maple syrup.

"What do you mean too young?"

"She started working here when she was 15, Granny says, as a cashier but she stuck around its been about good six to seven years since." Kyle shared, "she's got more patience than a turtle and has out lasted many of our older employees here."

......................................................................

Harry was walking home at around eight-thirty from studio calling it a day for writing. He was frustrated with the writers block he's been trying to get over from past two weeks. Busy on his phone texting his creative director about the new single from his previous album, he bumped into someone.

"Ah!" The person hissed in pain as they stumble back on their feet.

"Oh my god, I am sorry. I wasn't looking—" he stopped seeing it was YN, he looked to his left to see he was just passing the cafe she works at. "Hey, you okay?" He enquired watching her squeeze her hand in pain. He didn't bump into her that hard, did he?

"You want me to help you with something?" He asked, concerned as she was still hissing in agony. It scared him because he didn't know what was happening, was she playing a prank on him? But he saw a sheen in her eyes before sucked in a deep breath. "Did I bump into you that hard? I'm so sorry?" He spoke again, he noticed there was keys in the keyhole of the door, she was closing up.

"Oh no, lemme see." He carefully reached for her hand to see if she's injured severely. But she wasn't.

"I, uhh, no it's okay. I'm fine." She assured him, pulling her hand hand from his.

"You sure?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'm sure." She nodded and proceeded to lock up the door. He found it adorably weird how she used her knuckles to turn the keys. "You needed coffee this late?"

"No, no I was on my way back home." He shared, "are you sure I didnt hurt you?"

"No you didn't, you're fine. I'm fine." She rushed.

"You work this late?"

"No, took up extra shifts for this month." She shared.

"Okay." He nodded, stood there awkwardly not knowing what to say. She sighed.

"Okay I'll take your leave now, have a good night, Harry." She smiled. Harry swore his heart was about to burst.

"Uhh, yeah. Good night." He nodded, trying to reciprocate the same smile without coming out as a creep. She started her little penguin-esque walk upto the side walk all bundled up in her oversized hoodie and her coat, it was getting colder. He watched her unlock a Tesla — so that douche bag wasn't wrong about it!— and was about to get in before he rushed upto her. "Hey, YN?"

"Hmm?" She turned to him, her car door between them.

"Are you free tomorrow after work?"

'Oh my god! Okay it's happening!' the inner Michael Scott started screaming inside his mind as he asked the question. But she looked at him confused.

"I don't have worked tomorrow, why?" She said canting her head a side, a smile threatening to tug on the corner of her lips.

"I, ehm, wanted to—" he stuttered feeling his throat go dry in instant, "I wanted to ask if you'd like to grab a coffee or maybe lunch?" He blurt out just before rushing to add, "If, if you wish."

YN swallowed thickly as she looked at him for a moment longer, not believing what was really happening. The guy she spent minority of her childhood and all of her teenage years obsessing over is asking her to grab a coffe with him? Is she dreaming? She contemplated how to answer him, not wanting to break his heart. No one has asked her out since she was in highschool and that too ended horribly to add to her many traumas.

"I... uhh... Harry!" She found it difficult to find words from her vocabulary, "I, I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow in the morning. It might take me whole day."

She's telling the truth okay!

The way his puppy face turned into one of upset made her heart drop to her stomach, she doesn't want to turn him down. "That's okay." He sighed, looking down at his vans toeing at the concrete pavement.

"Harry?"

"Hmm?" He lifted his head up to look at her. Soft, tiredness never left her features, a gentle crease between her brows.

"I'm not turning you down," she said, catching full and more of his attention, "if you'd like we can still go grab dinner or go the next day."

"I, ehm, yeah I'd like that." He nodded, rubbing a nervous finger under his nose, his classic move when he's nervous. "I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Yeah." She nodded.

"This would sound stupid," he mumbled under his breath before taking a careful step closer to her, but she heard him, "can I get your number so I can text you tomorrow?"

"Sure." She smiled. He's sure he's as red as an apple as he felt heat rush upto his cheeks and find it amusing enough to smile at. He fished out his phone from his back pocket and unlocked it before he handed it to her. She took his phone with her shaky hands as she typed in her number and name. Was it that cold? She didn't seemed nervous. Maybe it's just the minor adrenaline rush keeping him warm to even notice, it's nearing October. He even sent her a smiley made of colon and end parenthesis so she knows it's him.

"Shouldn't hold you back longer it's getting late." He said taking his phone from her and checking her new contact in his phone to make sure he doesn't text the wrong number later.

"Mhmm. See you." She said with a petite wave tickling at her finger tips. He waved back and waited for her safely get in her car and drive off before he headed back home himself.

......................................................................

Harry couldn't bother to go to the cafe today, he made coffee at home today. It was pretty shitty but it was going to work and keep caffeinated him enough for the day at the studio. He felt very motivated to write today!

Though he kept picking up his phone and resting it face down back again throughout his studio session. He wanted to text YN and ask how's her doctor's visit going but that would make him appear as though he's been an obsessed creep of some sort, wouldn't it? He just can't get her off his mind there. He hoped she's doing fine even though he doesn't know her that well yet.

He felt anxious to text her but he told her he was going to. Excusing himself Harry picked up his phone and headed out for a moment. Finally clicking over her contact he saw she'd saved it with her name, plain and simple, he took that extra second to add a little sparkle emoji next to her name before he started drafting her a message. There was around quarter left for six.

- Hey you,

- how's your doctor's appointment going?

He cringed at his question. Three dots appeared on his screen indicating that she's writing a response back.

YN ✨

- Hey you,

- I'm so bored sitting here !!! 😩

- how is your day going?

He chuckled at her choice of emoji at the end of her complain.

- been in studio since morning, so I'd say I'm having an amazing day.

YN ✨

- I am soooo jealous!

- hey, it's my turn now I'll text you in a bit.

He took in a long breathe of relief that it's going to be over for her and he can take her out later. He stuffed his phone back in his pocket.

"Lads, I think we should wrap up for the day." Harry announced reentering the studio room.

"I'm staying to work on this tonight." Ben said, lifting his head up from the computer to look at him.

"Have you been seeing someone?" Sarah pointed out. She has been accompanying their writings sessions lately with Mitch. "You arrive at the studio late, you leave early. What is going on?" Even Mitch shot him his own suspicious glare from where he was sat next to Ben.

Having been put up in a spot Harry froze on his spot for a moment. He wants to keep this to himself if anything further happens for a little while, "no, I'm just hungry. I'm making pasta today, do you guys want to join?"

"Nah, I'll pass this time." Mitch waved him off before getting back to jis work with Ben. He used his cooking as excuse because no one likes when he cooks. He's agree he sucks at it, especially when it comes to pasta dishes.

"I'll see you guys tomorrow." Harry said after he'd gathered his stuff, "Sarah, bring your baby tomorrow."

"Aye!" She gave him a salute as he walked out.

Harry drove back home and hopped in shower taking his time to clean up as he's gone straight to studio after his intense run after Mitch called him up to play him a new tune. Just when he was out of shower he recieved a text from YN.

YN✨

- it's finally over! 😭

- oh, I hope you don't mind me. I've been complaining since you texted me

He chuckled. Of course he doesn't mind her complains over text. He could listen to her all day, everyday if she lets him.

- it's fine love.

- do you still want to grab dinner?

Honestly, he felt more comfortable now asking her questions. And he's really looking forward to this.

- yeah, I'll be home in thirty.

He smiled checking the time. It was half past six. He typed his message leaving her enough to get home and get ready if she wishes.

- I'll come and pick you up at 8?

- is that alright?

Harry felt so stupidly smitten that everytime those three little dots appeared on his screen his heart never fails to almost jump out of his mouth. Her message came in along with her little address.

- yeah, that gives me enough time.

He threw his phone back on his bed as he walked into his closet pushing him into the biggest turmoil of the day; what is he going to wear?!

At the end he settles on a pair if regular fit jeans and his yellowish cream Bode shirt with a tank top underneath to keep him warm. He pulled out a jacket to go with it as it's already freezing cold outside as it's nearing October end. He made sure there was no dust and dirt on the piece of clothing which has been sitting in his closet for almost a year now. He left the house making sure everything is in it's place and all the windows and doors are locked.

YN on the other hand was panicking. For starters, she was stuck in traffic on her way back home, her water heater started acting up when she went to take a shower after sitting in a hospital for entire day. Plus her chronic pain did nothing but added to one and half hour she had to get ready.

It was nearing winter which meant her arthritis was going to flare up, that meant more frequent visits to her doctor and physiotherapist. October has been truly a spooky season for her from past ten year now. She was just eleven when she had a life changing diagnosis, which her parents never bothered to look at for the longest blaming it on her introvert-ness. But now she's been living alone since she moved for college, life has been more easier on her.

Living alone came with it's own perks. No one bothered her. No one told her what she can and can not do. Living alone meant more savings, especially after she found herself lucky that her grandfather left her tuition fees in his will. She was able to buy herself a flat, it's been just a year she moved into her own home, no longer having to live with creepy roommates or crappy flats. Her brother has been very jealous of her recent purchase of her Tesla, but that was a different story. No one believed her working at a cafe got her all these things, she could careless.

Just as she was starting to put on her make-up to look tad bit presentable with her tired face with massive dark circles. She got a text from Harry saying he's waiting for her. She doesn't quite know if it's a date or he wants to hang out, but she had two options which are, go out with him bare faced or make him wait for ten more minutes.

God she hates being late!

Harry had to wait all for five minutes before he got a text from YN.

YN✨

- omg I'm so sorry!

- I need five more minutes plsss

- you can come up.

- pls

- it's very cold outside!

- I feel so badddd

He laughed at her frantic texting. He recieved a number of her flat with another row of apologies and asking him to upstairs as it's very cold outside. He took up her offer after contemplating. He took the lift up to her floor and walked down the corridor finding hers. Her door was right at the very end of the hallway. It was very calm and quiet.

Taking a deep breath he tapped on her door with his knuckles not opting to ring the bell. Still hoping he was at the right door, he was proven right when her door swung open.

"Hey you," he smiled.

"Hey, please come in." She stepped aside. "I just need five more minutes. I promise I'm not like this!"

"Hey it's okay, I'll wait for you." He chuckled. She brought him a glass of water.

"Please take a seat." She gestured at the yellow sofa in her living room, "five minutes." With that she walked into her bathroom.

YN house screamed that jt was her. Though she was still adding a few touches here and there. But what caught Harry's eye apart from bright yellow sofa with two coffee brown love seats in the living room was her little dining table for two which had an aquarium on it pushed towards the wall. He never thought she'd had a pet, let alone a fish. He pulled himself a chair as he admired the beta fish living a good life in it. He saw a little yellow sticky note with a messy writing on it which said 'His Royal Highness, King McFish the first'.

He didn't realised he let out an audible laugh reading that until his own voice rang through his ears.

"Don't laugh." He heard YN call from her bathroom, probably getting ready. She walked out all ready. "I didn't name him that."

"Who did?"

"It's my neighbours daughter, I baby sit her some times." YN shared walking to her balcony and shutting the door closed. "She named him that because she was eating McDonald's that day."

"He's a royal then, isn't he?" Harry chuckled hearing the back story still watching him swim around. And he doesn't blame the little girl, the fish was really looked royal. Black fins with a yellow body, truly calming and easy on eyes to watch it swim around.

He finally looked at YN, she was ready. Dressed in a pair of brown panta, a white over sized turtle neck sweater which looked handmade. He was blown away seeing her hair which would usually be covered by a hair net at work. She'd decided to braid her long hair leaving it draped up front over her rught shoulder, her curtain bangs styled perfectly. He noticed she had even put on just a tad bit of makeup.

"I like your jumper." He commented watching walk upto the table.

"Oh!" She sounded, looking down at her jumper running smoothing sweater paw over the front, "thank you. I made it."

"I thought so." He smirked proud of his little judgement. "Are we ready to go?"

"Uh-huh," she nodded, grabbed her coat hanging on the vacant chair, slipped her phone and a chapstick into a pocket. All the while Harry waited patiently for her as she slipped on her shoes before they headed out. Like a gentleman he is, he got the door for her. He was quite liking her taking her time, it only meant he got more time himself to spend with her that way. Though he was infatuated by her pet fish for a moment there.

"Are you sure I didn't hurt you last night?" He enquired as he drove them to his favorites Italian diner, watching her squeeze her hands. Maybe he was reaching and she was just nervous.

"No, you didn't." She turned to look at him wanting to say something further but shut her mouth.

She didn't wanted to tell him her medical history there. It wasn't his fault that her body turns more fragile during colder months, it was a tiny accident. And that was her nervous tick. She's going out on dinner with Harry after all!

This was her first date (if it was because he didn't specify it when he asked her) after that shitty prom date she had, when her girlfriend ditched her last minute to go with the football team captain instead. She wasn't all that heartbroken because they were dating merely two months before. YN had best time regardless with her two best friends.

"Is this a date?" She wondered.

"Of course it is. Do you still want it to be?" Harry spoke taking her by complete surprise.

"Did I said that out loud?" YN gasped covering her mouth in disbelief. She knew it she is going to fuck it up!

"I can read minds." He shrugged glancing at her occasionally as he drove, "you were thinking way too loud."

YN just shook her head sheepishly, feeling her cheeks heat up and heart basically jumping in her ears. Harry had a good laugh teasing her there.

God, he looks even prettier in person!

She couldn't believe she's going on a date. Let alone with Harry. This was something she was sure she would be telling her grandkids in future for sure.

......................................................................

Harry pulled a chair for YN before he took a seat himself. They were immediately greeted by the waiter with a menu card. She noticed it had all kinds of beverages on it, especially majority of alcoholic ones. It was a bummer she doesn't drink as alcohol clashes with her medications. She can't even drink more than half a cup of coffee a day because of that.

"Have you decided?" Harry asked.

"I, uh, I don't drink so I'll stick to water." She shared.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't ask." Harry said.

"It's okay, you didn't know."

They were handed the menu card with starters and main course. She didn't know if they were going for both so she picked both not wanting to embarrass herself more in front of Harry. She used up the rest of her time to gather her courage to talk to the waiter.

Don't get her wrong, she works in the same field but she doesn't like to go out to eat for this exact reason. It gives her major anxiety and thanks to her mither who'd forced her to take French and Italian in school that she knew how to pronounce these dishes.

"Are we ready with your order for starters, ma'am?" The waiter asked her first out of both of them, great!

She glanced at Harry once before looking down at her menu picking first thing she saw in front of her having long forgotten what she actually picked, "I'll have, uh, a Caprese Salad, please."

Now when has be eaten a salad in her whole life?

Sure her friend Alex made her and their other friend Brielle the same salad, and she picked only the cheese in it. This was going to be way more embarrassing. Harry ordered some type of soup.

"How did your doctor's appointment go, everything alright?" Harry enquired.

"Mhmm," she nodded, "just a routine check up. I, ehm, have arthritis so I tend to get more... I don't know to put this— sick... during colder months." She finally shared.

Harry felt even more bad now, he definitely did not bump into her that hard but she's already in pain, even that small bump causes her to wince in complete agony, no wonder why her hands were shaky last night. It took him long to put two and two together then and there.

"I'm sorry, love, did it hurt bad?" He felt guilt build up in his gut.

"No, Harry," she rushed, "I told you it's okay. You didn't know." She cooed, reaching for his hand over the table.

"You sure?"

"Yes, I am sure!" She assured him.

"Okay." He nodded.

"You're writing new music you said?" She asked, curious.

"Mhmm." He nodded, "quite a hassle actually. Been going through a massive creative block."

"Awh!" She cooed again.

"Enough about me, you tell me now, what made you get a degree in Music?" He asked.

"Who doesn't love music?" She shrugged, "I certainly do."

"Yeah?" He chuckled at her adorably enthusiasm.

"My grand dad was a teacher, he taught Indian classical music his whole life." She shared, "him and I were very close so I picked up from his hobby and passion."

"That's sweet." He commented, "do you sing?"

"Meh, you can say that I sound more like a dying horse. I'm more into just the art of it, that's why I took the music history too."

"Huh, interesting." He canted his head to aside as he said so, "tell me more about it."

The entire Harry urged her to talk about what she liked and she did with that much enthusiasm. Harry later went with simple Alfredo pasta and YN with some Gnocchi, they even ended up switching. The fight to split the bill was won by Harry as he asked her out, so it was all on him.

"Do you want to get icecream or something warm?" Harry asked as they walked out of the restaurant.

"It's very cold for Icecream." She reminded him.

"Then something warm it is," he opened the door to his car for her, "would you like some hot chocolate, it's a bit late for coffee I reckon?"

"Yeah. But it's on me." She said buckling up her seat belt.

"No, no," he warned her as he drove to the nearest Starbucks as that's the only place which would be open that late. The driveway on the passenger side, as YN ordered for two hot chocolates and paid for it the moment they reached the window. "Hey, you're making me upset!"

"Too bad, too bad my friend." She shrugged stuffing her wallet back in her coat pocket, he just chuckled giving up arguing with her already. He drove to the next window and finally parked in the car park.

Taking in a long breathe, he reflected on his day real quick. Or his evening you can say. He liked his time spent with her like he expected he would. He longed to hear her talk more about literally anything, than hear her calling out people come pick up their orders at the cafe. He wanted to do this again with her. Go out or hang out with her.

"I had a really good time with you, Harry." She shared, leaning back on her seat comfortably.

"Yeah?" He turned his head to look at her, "I did too."

"I know I shouldn't say this, but this doesn't feel real that I went on a date with you!" She shared hesitantly.

"Well, to put you at ease my love, I'm a narcissist so I don't mind that." He chuckled, she scoffed jokingly at his comment. She had much more to say much it can wait for some other time which is not their first date. They sat there in silence, a comfortable one might we add sipping on their hot chocolates.

"Don't make it awkward, say something." She spoke after a while.

"It's not awkward." Harry shrugged. "Is there anything to talk about?" He wondered.

"Not really." She looked at time on her watch, "I've got work tomorrow, I think we should call it a night."

"Mhmm," he sighed sadly, pulling out of the car park, he started driving back to her place.

The drive back to her place was awfully short for his liking. He stopped by her building, and got out with her.

"Thank you for going out with me." He said, "hope we could do this some time again?"

"Yeah," she smiled sheepishly. "We could do that."

"We'll plan that out soon then, yeah?" He carefully reached for her, to his surprise she slipped her hand right in his. Her felt cold against his.

"Mhmm." She nodded, "hug?" Without a word uttered Harry wrapped her in his arms, in a warm embrace making sure to be extra delicate with her. She draped her own around his shoulders. "Text me when you get back, okay?"

"I will." He nodded, with a last gentle squeeze he let her go.

"Good night." She said, gently slipping her hand from him.

"Good night, love." He waved at her as he walked back into her building.

Sighing he got back into his car, drove home with a possible second date.

......................................................................

N O T E:

1) Please do leave a comment about how you like this one.

2) Reminder that my requests are open atm.

3) it really calmed me writing this one. Hehe! The way of self validations I find. But I hope the person aho requested this liked it too. 🥺

Thank you so much for reading!

......................................................................

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[widefuturesss]

how did you get started doing the things you do publicly? like teaching, having writings published, etc?

I’ve always put myself out there. “I wanna be a voice heard and change seen” said 15 year old Chi in their bedroom chanting/praying after watching a powerful video about Oprah loll. By the time I started university I was very determined bout my becoming. Moved to a new city/country alone at 17 and I went to my first poetry spoken word open mic at a library I found online, by my 2nd event I got booked for my first reading… I soon started applying to open calls, my first commission led to another which led to another… I started self-publishing my work cuz I felt an urgency and I needed it out there. I couldn’t wait for anyone so when the places I sent my work too never got back, I took it upon myself. I remember first year in uni I made my first book of poetry and art, heavy in the chest, my professor that marked it then invited me to an event where I got paid to read an excerpt, this encouraged me to publish it despite the fact that no one else wanted too at the time. But yesss, it’s like one opportunity led to the next. Most ppl don’t know that I’ve been a part time artist with school, for the longest time I just pursued interests beyond what was ever expected for me. Even painting, that was a personal passion I did respite my non-art school lol. I’ve always believed in my passions tho. By the 2nd year of my Masters, I got invited to my school to lecture through a commission I did! It was funny and iconic cuz the school didn’t realize I was also one of their own students!!! Heheheeee Now I got a Masters degree and my resume veryyyyy long from all the extra interests I pursued and I’m still working so hard!!!!! Believing in myself, choosing to share, choosing to apply to any opportunity intuition guides me towards…. This validates the practices more now as I watch the seeds I planted at 15 growww, it’s a chain effect for sure. I’m only just getting started.