#but i’ve already consumed the story and i’ve already given it a different life in my head. feels like. if that makes any sense

[comfymoth]

hey guys! been a little while, but i just wanted to give you a small update on my plans for this blog.

ultimately i think i probably am going to keep posting here? but it’s not because i’m over the situation or changed my mind on anything. i still hate dream, i still think what he did was a disgusting abuse of power, and i still think he needs to lose his platform. but, the dsmp is fiction, and it’s not his. don’t get me wrong, my relationship to it has definitely changed as a result of all this, but (at least for now) i feel alright occasionally using my blog to just reminisce about the story he was only one collaborator on. it meant a lot to me for two years, and all the meanings i gave it were mine. i do view my relationship to the fiction as separate from whatever the creators wanted from me, and i’ve never engaged in a way dream could profit from.

this isn’t a dissertation of my full thoughts, and i worry even this might be worded poorly or not make sense, but i’m just trying to get out an overview and a small disclaimer— i might still post here, but i don’t want it to be misconstrued as support for dream. i fucking hate the guy. and if you’re continuing to support him, then unfollow me. thank you

[melit0n]

EUCLID ANALYSIS.

Part one -> Title and meaning

Part two -> Line by line analysis part one

Part three -> Line by line analysis part two

Part four -> Musical/instrumental notes

Part five -> The Night in Sleep Token

Part six -> You're already here!

So, after all this, we have to come to some sort of conclusion about our points. One main and obvious conclusion can be made about exactly what Euclid is about; change. Overall, Euclid holds a constant theme of change and acceptance, both pushed through callbacks to previous songs and through general lyricism.

As stated in the post previous to this one, TMBTE, as an album, is about the turmoil of accepting change, therefore making Euclid the cap of acceptance of the passing of time, that Vessel needs to change and has changed and that’s okay.

However, we still have a few theories to talk about.

Euclid can be perceived as being a form of symmetry; a parallel that Vessel lays his life on because it brings all of the produced albums, all of his stories, together. It is symmetric because it reflects Vessel’s past, rotates what once was into something new, translates Vessel’s pain and what Sleep has to say into something manageable and combines past songs to create something that isn’t as different as we believe it to be from said songs.

Even so, Euclid could also be Vessel, which I don’t feel the need to explain since I’ve already linked the post the idea comes from, but I’ll do it again here.

Furthermore, Euclid could also be the replacement for Vessel in the future. As I stated in the first of these series of posts, the album art literally depicts a copy of Vessel, the same but different, holding the severed head of his era two’s mask. Euclid is about change, so, who’s to say the change isn’t Sleep having a new mouthpiece?

All in all, Euclid is about the past, present and probably, the future, which is most likely why I’ve been drawn to it so much. I talk about myself much more on this blog than I do in real life, so, it’s probably known to my followers that my greatest fear is the passage of time and change, which is why I’ve been so interested in this song. It depicts the thing that I have been afraid of for most of my life as ethereal and good. Inevitable, but comforting.

I think that would be the best sum up for the topic of this song; inevitable, but comforting.

So, you may now be asking ‘Mel, what do you think Euclid is about? You’ve talked about these different theories, not given much reason why you think so but still, and what Euclid could be, so what do you think?’

With full honesty? I am completely unsure. I have listened to this song over and over again since when it came out in May, 8 full months, had it consume my waking and dreaming thoughts, sat down and wrote all this and I still don’t fully know. Euclid is, in my perception of it, all of these things. Euclid could be Vessel’s past name or the vessel that will replace him. Euclid could be symmetry itself! Euclid could be all three of these things and more that I haven’t been able to decipher.

However, what I can say, is that Euclid is most definitely a eulogy, a reprise and a thank you. I view it as a love letter of sorts to all of Sleep Token’s past music (the albums One and Two included). In @todaysemotionalsupportsong own words: it’s an open door, a new beginning. It feels like sunshine streaming through trees finally blooming and like everything will be okay.

The reason why I believe Euclid to be a thank you to us as a collective, other than what I have already said, is because of the general nature of Sleep Token. Vessel, in all his anonymity, can sing his tunes to the void and you, who are there in the gloom visiting the past or sat there believing you are alone, mistake the words for your own and mould them to your own experiences. That is the gift Vessel is giving us, that is why Euclid is a thank you.

I apologise if this is not the conclusion any of you reading came here for, because I physically cannot give you enough solid evidence to confirm nor deny any of these theories. When I write literature essays, I always have something to go on; context clues from the author’s life or something confirmed by someone far past my era to base my ideas on, but with this? I have my thoughts and the people on my Tumblr dash. I have no way to source potential context to support my statements because I don’t have a clue who Vessel is and, in the nicest way possible, I don’t care to know either. Outside of lore speculations, I can’t give you much other than stating and analysing the obvious, which is the whole point of Sleep Token. They are here to deliver a message, be mouthpieces for suffering and joy, nothing more, as derogatory as that sounds.

Despite this, I hope whoever has read through eight months of the inner workings of my mind trying to dissect this song has found entertainment, or perhaps clarity through it. Thank you, reader, for even sitting down and reading these posts.

Worship.

[55555-555-5]

Period Post!

I love love love when I begin my bleeding cycle. It’s when I am the most in tune with mind, body, soul and universe. It wasn’t always this way tho.

Ever since I started menstruating (at age 10 I think) my periods were heavy metal, meaning I would bleed through both a tampon and a pad and be in so much pain I physically couldn’t stand up straight. Everything was awful on my period and finally my mom brought me in to the doctor to see what we could do. He prescribed me birth control. Surprised? Probably not. Womben are so quickly given pills and heavy medications to put into their bodies when they simply just need to know what’s going on. He never walked me through balancing my hormones or discussed progesterone or nothing. Gave me this pill, it’ll fix all my problems. For a while I loved the pill, I set an alarm on my phone, took it every day, my doctor gave me a type I would stack for three months and then stop taking them for a week so I could bleed. That week was always fucked cus it takes a long time to get out of your system so by the time I would bleed I would start taking the pills again. I’m gonna wrap it up: I took birth control for about 12 years.

Fast forward: I’ve come off the pill, spent the time necessary to cleanse my body of the pill. My periods took a while to be some regular and coming off the pill they were just as heavy and painful as before. The things that changed my life are proper education, appreciation for my womb, following the right people on social media, herbal remedies and rituals.

It’s so important to learn that the time that we run on is built around mens bodies, as are most things. We have different cycles and our timing is divine and if we can connect to it, life gets easier. Learn the 4 phases of your cycle; inner summer, inner fall, inner winter and inner spring. I’m in spring rn and I’m feeling like I’m blossoming into my next phase of life, energetic, hot af, and connected.

Herbal medicine has impacted my life in many ways but nothing seems as significant as my period. One cup of this tea and my cramps are completely GONE! Use equal parts chopped cinnamon bark and chopped dried ginger or freshly grated ginger root and honey to taste if you like. For one cup of tea use 1 teaspoon of ingredients. I have this tea every bleed and it instantly helps.

A big thing I learned is you want to keep your womb warm to avoid pains. Keep your feet warm, don’t eat cold foods, your jaw and pelvis are connected so always try to relax your jaw, singing and sighing are wonderful. Also you are what you eat (in the nicest way) so if you haven’t already made a change to be more aware of what your putting in your body definitely do it now. What you intake will be the factors that balance your hormones. Something important to note is food is everything that is consumed; what you eat, what you watch, what you listen to and what you say to yourself.

A huge part is learning to love your period. Menstruation is the beginning of time and your womb is a portal. Around every 28 days depending on your own cycle, you go through death and rebirth. It’s sacred and powerful. Look into some ancient stories of worshipping menstrual blood and figure out some rituals and practices that inspire you. For example I love giving my blood back to the earth. I free bleed so I rinse my underwear in water in a jar and then pour the water onto my plants or the trees roots outside. Once your blood is healthy and free of toxins from pills and what not, it has so many healing factors for life in all aspects. I also love to use my finger to gently collect some blood directly from my body and place a dot on my forehead where the third eye is. It’s beneficial as a face mask as well. Also note that your first bleed is the most powerful!

I got so much important and beneficial info from Womben Wellness who you can find on Instagram under that name and also Facebook. The womban that runs it name is Usha and she does actual courses on this type of shit! She also does free educational zoom calls every once in a while that I tune in to. You could just google Womben Wellness as well, but definitely look into her she’s amazing. I get my divine love for my cycle from Goddess Molding who you can find on Instagram as well with that name, she also has a website where she sells sacred ceremony handmade items. She’s the one that shared all those bullet points in the last photo.

I could go on for EVER about this stuff, I’m so passionate about it now that I’ve learned some basic stuff that they didn’t teach us. I’m worried I’ve gone on too long so I’m finishing up now. Definitely check out those womben I recommended, they will explain everything a lot better and more beautiful than I did. Also note that every body is different and responds in different ways. It’s really figuring out what path YOU should take, what works for your body specifically and taking responsibility for your health. No one else is going to fix your body for you, and that was the hardest pill to swallow. Also remember that your womb is not separate from your body, any other health issues you have could be impacting your period. Going down this road could expose a lot of other health issues.

@changingandhealing ❤️

[okayohay]

Valentine's Day for the characters!

A day late but I wanted to share some one-shots from my fics if the characters were celebrating the holiday! I wanted to start with an old favorite beacuse I haven't updated Edgy in so long! Please enjoy, and if you want more, you can find this story here ! I’ll be uploading other characters from other fics as well!

I Just Wanted To Be Edgy Too Valentine's Edition Van and Ellie

Van’s POV

It shouldn’t matter.

One day out of the three-hundred and sixty-five days I had with her in a year shouldn’t matter. It shouldn’t be any different. It never was for anyone else.

But this was Ellie.

It was different. 

Everything I ever wanted, or needed…it was her. And even though our introduction to our life together was both physically and emotionally painful, it was worth every ugly second to get to where we were now. 

I watched her in the kitchen as she fiddled with the stovetop and scraped the pan in front of her with a spatula. She was humming along to whatever indie band she had playing, and she hadn’t noticed my staring, or she would have called me out by now. She blushed feverishly anytime she caught me looking at her, but I couldn’t help it. The wedding planning was consuming us both and every time we talked about the event or the festivities that followed, I couldn’t help but lose my train of thought. Knowing she’d officially belong to me forever had me wrapped up in knots. I was a moth to a flame anytime I was near her. I’d always been affected by her, but it was different now, more intense. Her ring glistened against the kitchen lights and I smiled sheepishly. She was mine forever…just a few more months. 

I fiddled with my necklace around my neck and bit my lip. Ellie was specific about Valentine’s Day. she wanted nothing. Nothing at all. She said I had already given her too much. But I stopped at the market on my way home from my parents and snagged her a dozen roses because I wanted to. She’d already thrown a fit about the roses, but they were in a vase at the table and I caught her smiling whenever she caught a glimpse of them. She finished with the pan and popped whatever she was making in the oven before washing her hands. I crept up behind her and rested my chin on her shoulder.

“Got a minute?”

She turned on a smile and wrapped her arms around my neck, kissing me lightly. “For you, I have all the minutes.”

I’d only been home from tour five days, so we were still in the heavily romantic stages of bliss, but I wasn’t going to complain. I missed this most when I was gone. 

“There’s one more thing I have for you.”

She frowned. “I told you no gifts!”

I shook my head. “And I can’t help it. Besides…this one is different.”

She backed away from me playfully and folded her arms over her chest. “How? You say that about everything.”

I sighed. “It’s just…I’ve wanted to do this my whole life. So bear with me.”

“What are you talking about? We’re already engaged and you said that when you got on your knee!”

“Christ, Ellie! Give me a sec! This is…this is just really important!”

“And this wasn’t?” She pointed to her ring jokingly.

“No, that’s not what I mean! Damnit, I’m all flustered, love! Just come with me into the living room.” I tugged at her hand and she fell in line behind me. Every step felt like a mile until we sank to the couch. The gas fireplace rolling across from us was casting the only light in the living room apart from the hue coming from the kitchen. I tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear and let my fingers trail against her collar bone. Her breathing hitched and she closed her eyes for a moment. After all this time she still reacted the same way to me. It reminded me of our first kiss in that hotel room. It was so wrong at that time, we were pushing incredible limits but we’d made it, and that heat never died. 

“Ellie.” My voice was low and hoarse. “I can give you a ring, and my word, and my loyalty. You already have it all. And soon you’ll have my second name. And maybe I’m being premature about this, I had other plans for this on our wedding day, but I don’t want to wait until then. I want you to know now, that I’m never going anywhere. I’m not leaving you. And all the times we thought that of each other, all the moments where trust was gone and we were buried in silence and the times we thought we hated each other, and the countless encounters and moments with Barns that didn’t always end well, all of that was worth it. I never wanted to be with anyone but you. I stayed through that, you stayed through that. And I want you to know it’s forever.”

Her eyes were glistening with tears that hadn’t fallen. “Van…I do know that.”

I shook my head. “I know. But I want to make sure you fully comprehend my commitment to you.”

Her eyes traveled down to my neck where my shirt was unbuttoned and minutes before walking into the kitchen, I’d unfastened the chain around my neck of the necklace that I never took off. 

“Van…your necklace…”

I reached around to the back of her neck as I splayed half the gold pendant my father gave me to his matching one, against her skin. She immediately stopped breathing as I latched the lock and adjusted it so it fell in the center of her chest.

“It’s not mine. It never was. It was temporary, until I found its keeper. And I’ve done that.”

A tear rolled down her face. “I can’t…”

“You already have. Besides. It looks better on you anyway.” I smiled as I wiped her tears away with my thumb and leaned in to kiss her as she shook against me.

“I love you, Ellie. And I know you know that. And this is yours until it goes to our own son or daughter. So please take care of it. And I promise I’ll always take care of you.”

“I don’t know what to say.” She whispered as her fingers found the chain.

I smiled at her in response. “There’s nothing for you to say, love. I’m just glad I finally found you.”

[captain-astors]

1, 2, 6, 7, 10, 20 and 26 asks, I included question 26 a few minutes ago

Thank you!

1. Who is your favorite character(s)?

I’ve discussed my current ones already but my first favorite characters were Nishiki, Yoriko, Hinami, and the very guy who got me into the whole series, Tsukiyama. So glad they all remained consistent and important parts of the story that were never taken for granted or disregarded by the main characters right. 

2. And your favorite ship?

I ship rather like a particular eater. I take bits and pieces of the fine meals you have prepared for yourselves and I congratulate everyone on their tastes! I enjoy them all in moderation so long as they are not illegal. Some more than others. (Utaren, Houtata, Arieto etc.) But will I dine upon those when serving myself, regardless of how appealing I find them? Nay. Should you follow me home and see what I think of, or consume, you will see me over the ship equivalent of a basket of uncooked potatoes covered in whipped cream, (MutsKanae) and a combination of caesar salad dressing and a singular green pepper. (Furutui) Judge me for my choices and I agree but tell me to stop and I will refuse. But it does change frequently so tomorrow who knows. However, it will never be wholly sensical. I thrive on crack pairings. I think I effectively murdered that metaphor. 

6. Which character do you find most useless or indifferent to the story?

I want to say every character serves some kind of purpose, but Suzuya’s squad besides Hanbee kind of didn’t really need to be there. Like you could’ve mashed them all into one third character and been none the worse off. That said I don’t mind that they are there and I wouldn’t change it, I just don’t think they need to be.

7. Which character(s) do you dislike? For a time, Ayato. Fun design, annoying kid. But he was already beaten up (and actually learned a lesson from it instead of just contemplating how sad his life is cough cough Kaneki) so I don’t have any remaining qualms. 

10. Which character deserved more? Or was it more unfair?

Rize, but I talk more about that in 26. Mutsuki! My son, what did they do to you. He is riddled with transphobic messages but I will ignore them because he is mine now and he cannot be hurt anymore, what do you mean he joined a different branch of the CCG upon its collapse and abandoned his friends he’s healing with them, trust me. 

20. If you could trade coffee for anything else to be food for ghouls, what would it be?

Okay assuming we’re still operating under the rule it has to be a one-ingredient thing that can’t be mixed with others without tasting disgusting anyways… I’m going to say straight vanilla extract and look yes I know, tumblr meme but that’s not actually why I said that, can you IMAGINE the awkward workarounds they’d have to figure out to justify it. Anteiku’s a bakery with a suspicious number of vanilla flavored products. Tsukiyama the baker. A human takes a swig of a ghoul’s drink and dies. Beautiful. 

26. If you could sacrifice any character to bring another back, who would it be?

I would like to trade in a Kaneki for a Rize. Specifically I want him to drown in the dragon with Nimu while Dragon Rize actually gets revived, autonomy, personality, mental function and all. Changed? Obviously. But free again in a world where she doesn’t have to run from herself. I just want to see her get to be herself without the objectified lens of a man over her to make her some kind of driving force, regret, etc. Or her own actions trying to bury the scared kid she once was through murder and indulgence. She was kind of on a self-destructive warpath from the moment of her escape, and regardless of how her intent was to distance herself from the garden in every way possible, counterintuitively her suppressed fear would’ve ended up with her right back in the garden. Anyways all in all I want a character who Kaneki has not deemed “good” to be given another chance. Kaneki’s fixed world (or world that “just is” according to him) is not a paradise for ghouls and humans alike, it is paradise for Kaneki. I would like an outlier.

[sustainabilitystorytelling]

Sustainability Storytelling N-icely Done

Sainsbury’s Sainsfreeze campaign highlights power of freezing food to prevent food waste

You can imagine Sainsbury’s brief to its agencies: talk about how committed we are to reducing food waste.

Supermarkets are on the frontline in the fight against climate change and cutting food waste is one of the main issues they’re grappling with. From removing “best before” labels to partnerships with food banks, the efforts of UK supermarkets chains are all much of a muchness.

It’s safe to say that food waste is well-trodden ground for them all, and so hats off to Sainsbury’s for finding a fresh approach to telling a story that’s already been told.

What the campaign involves

Sainsfreeze (see what they did there?), was the name given to a first of its kind walk-in freezer concept store designed to show people the various foods that can be frozen and to share innovative freezing tips with people in a bid to reduce food waste, and in turn, save money.

The pop-up store looked like a regular Sainsbury’s from the outside, but once inside customers were greeted with frozen groceries that they would usually buy fresh. Foods normally found on different aisles in the grocery store were frozen in innovative ways to help teach customers new ways to freeze food that allows them to reduce waste in the home.

The items available in Sainsfreeze were selected off the back of research that revealed the items Brits most commonly throw away, and it was this same research that underpinned the news story that appeared to gain blanket coverage.

 A strategic partnership with WRAP, one of the UK’s leading climate action NGOs, added credible third-party endorsement to the initiative, and all surplus food from the pop-up was donated to Sainsbury’s food distribution charity partner, FareShare, ensuring the retailer practiced what it was preaching.

Why it got my attention, and lessons learned

This is one of those campaigns that’s so obvious, and so obviously relies on the classic PR formula of consumer research + “stunt”, I want to hate it.  But I’m not going to lie, it’s the obviousness of it that I love. And the simplicity.

For me, the lesson to be learned here is an easy one: don’t over-complicate things. This campaign is a classic example of simple, straightforward problem / solution storytelling, brilliantly executed and “gettable” on every level.

The visual and the headline alone tell me what I need to know: freezing food can save food and save money, and Sainsbury’s can help me do that. Boom. Done. One sentence. Message communicated. That’s some skilled storytelling right there.

If I then choose to engage further with the campaign, whether that’s by reading one of the many online articles generated or by paying Sainsfreeze a visit, I actually learn something that’s of actual value to me and my life. That’s pretty rare isn’t it? Who knew you could freeze an egg? Not me. Yoghurt? Game changer. I’m already an avid hunter of the “reduced price” yellow sticker when I’m doing my grocery shopping, and now, armed with this new knowledge that so many foods close to their use-by date can actually be frozen, my bargain-hunting tendencies are in over-drive.  And I’m doing something good for the planet too, even if that isn’t my main motivation. Full credit to Sainsbury’s for such actionable advice during a time when so many people are having to tighten their purse strings.

I also admire how Sainsbury’s baked into the story some key corporate messages, which appear to have been published in the vast majority of news articles I’ve read about the campaign i.e. Sainsbury’s is committed to halving food waste across its operations by 2030, has sent zero waste to landfill since 2013, recently announced the removal of ‘best before’ dates on 276 products and has donated over five million meals to those who need them most. Knowing these things endears me even more to Sainsbury’s.

What can we apply to our own marketing: my thoughts in a nutshell

As we find ways to bring the California almond industry’s zero waste story to life, we’ve already started to recognize the power of positioning almonds as a zero-waste food hero.  The New York Times partnership was our first foray into really talking about almonds being part of the solution to helping people reduce food waste due to their long shelf life, and this, to me, is the way forward.

Until now, I can’t help thinking we’ve been too focused on telling consumers about our growers’ approach to farming using a zero-waste approach. Is it interesting? Sure. Does it make you feel good about almonds? Quite possibly. But does it add value to your life and help YOU live life a little bit more sustainably? Kind of. But it’s a bit of a leap for consumers to understand how the action taken by farmers impacts their own life.

As consumers increasingly look to brands and products to help them do their bit to make a positive impact on the world, to me we should be taking a leaf out of Sainsbury’s book and showing how we i.e. how almonds – not the growers, but almonds – can be part of the solution.

[neononline]

Summer lesson vr to west

You can only do it for a certain amount of time because it is different, perceptually, than the real world. VR has always been about solving hard problems. It’s not something that you do for fun yet. That being said, I don’t use VR recreationally. I’ve dedicated my career to VR-I’ve done nothing but think about it during my work life since the late ’90s. Is that what we could see with the metaverse? And does that point to bigger consumer reluctance to use VR and AR? Google Glass went from a failed consumer product to more of a workplace apparatus. The CEO says that lives are saved because decisions are made faster because of the practice from employees who use VR. It’s one of the most incredible success stories of VR, as horrible as that day was.

And so they were prepared in a way that they wouldn’t have been had they not done that training. Many of the employees were working that had already trained with Strivr’s active shooter preparation tool. The CEO of Walmart has publicly discussed this. One of the most successful trainings for Strivr is active shooter training. What the metaverse is going to do is that, with all the Strivr training scenarios, we’re now going to be able to do it in teams. or they’re recorded people that we’re beaming in via video capture. Currently, we do lots of things where there are other people around, but those people are either controlled by A.I. In 2016, we pivoted to enterprise, and so the largest client remains Walmart. We began as a football training, training quarterbacks and other players, and then we went to other sports-US Olympic skiing, NBA free-throw shooting. What Strivr does is we put you in this incredibly immersive scene. Ultimately, what’s going to drive VR is that it’s really good for training. And you’re getting thousands of people per day going to places like AltspaceVR or VRChat, but not hundreds of thousands. It has been a killer app of VR since there’s been VR and that remains the case today. When you go through the history of VR, it’s all about training, starting with the Flight Simulator in 1929. You think work and enterprise are going to be huge parts of the metaverse. We have short bursts with 30- to 40-minute experiences. And I’m very strict-I don’t want to get anyone dizzy ever. If you’re looking at someone talking, you don’t need to be in VR, right? One reason why I want my smaller discussions to be in VR is that it preserves the spatial coherence of the conversation. Once a week, we do kind of a lecture where we talk about readings and we have guest lecturers come in and we do that over Zoom. More importantly, we’ve been developing a curriculum that leverages what the metaverse is good for. The lessons that we’ve learned ranged from what size group is the best for small-group discussion to how many avatars can you render in the same scene before the whole system crashes. When you combine the two classes, you’ve got 250 students-plus in VR with a group for 10 weeks in a row. Our class was a magnitude of order larger than anything anyone has ever tried. We’re learning a ton about how to teach and learn in VR. How does the metaverse change what’s possible for teaching? In the last six or seven months, the hardware has gotten good enough where I can do the class I’ve always dreamed of since the late ’90s. I don’t think the hardware was ready nine or ten months ago. We’re doing travel and meditation and medical classes. This fall, I’ve got 178 Stanford students and we are doing incredible things.

We spent about 60,000 shared minutes inside virtual reality and did all the things that Stephenson wrote about way back then. We talked and we learned and we experimented and we traveled. So in June 2021, 101 Stanford students all had their own headsets at home and we networked via avatars in the metaverse using a platform called Engage. I volunteered because I’ve been teaching a class since 2003 called Virtual People and I wanted to, given that we were remote anyway, try to do it in immersive VR in the metaverse. In March 2020, when covid-19 hit, Stanford asked professors to volunteer to move their normal teaching load to summer 2021. Imagine the internet skipped the 2D version and went right into VR. Stephenson defines the metaverse as basically the internet, but immersive. Will the WHO’s Covaxin approval answer questions about the vaccine’s trials?īailenson: The term “metaverse” comes from Neal Stephenson’s 1996 book Snow Crash. The interview has been lightly edited for length and clarity. Bailenson recently spoke with Quartz about what the metaverse is, the state of metaverse technology, and why the developers of the metaverse can be conscientious about their carbon footprint.

[true-blue-megamind]

FAN THEORY SOMETIME EVENTUALLY: Hal is NOT Megamind’s Greatest Enemy

I’m back! Real life is consuming massive amounts of my time, so I’m afraid these Fan Theory Thursday posts have become sporadic. I'll try to write them as often as possible. Special thanks to Dalniente for suggesting this topic and sharing his fan theory! You rock! Please note: while fascinating, this blog article is going to get dark. IF DEPRESSION IS A TRIGGER, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK! This post may also leave you with an uncontrollable urge to hug a certain blue super-genius. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

Finally, if you are that single strange individual who has been reading these posts for over a year without actually watching the movie… Well, I’ve probably given away nearly everything already, but nonetheless: SPOILER WARNING!

It’s clear to any fan of this wonderful DreamWorks film that Megamind has been through a lot. Not only was our favorite blue hero ostracized, bullied, and raised in prison, but we see him facing yet more hardships during the narrative. In fact, according to one fan theory, although his triumph over Titan is the primary story arc, the super-stalker is not the greatest foe Megamind faces.

It all begins with the blue man’s emotional turmoil. As I’ve mentioned previously in Megamind’s Psychology, the film’s protagonist seems nearly obsessed, at least during the first half of the story, with both his presumed evil nature and the idea of destiny. In fact, it appears that this has led him to construct his entire self-identity around supervillainy—something that only changes when his preconceived notions do. Such a drastic alteration, however, is often painful, and this one was no different.

Megamind, at the beginning of the film, obviously feels that fighting a nemesis provided his only reason for existing. This is because Metroman unwittingly offered mental engagement as well as something to work toward. More specifically, their fights were a perfect excuse for Megamind to invent, plot, and challenge his own brain. Without this, the blue man feels unfulfilled and purposeless. He clearly states that fact while he and Minion discuss creating a new hero. The thing is that, as Dal suggested in the Evil Lair Discord, losing his former adversary doesn’t merely leave him without an objective, but also disrupts the very stability of his existence.

“He wants his life back,” Dal explained. “Literally, he says this: his goal with the infuser gun was to get his life back to the way it was ‘when the world was perfect and rosy.’”

The problem, of course, is that this is easier said than done. Megamind feels like a ship adrift in the ocean with no compass or destination, and like many of us would in those circumstances, he falls into making some bad decisions. Those choices only make his predicament worse. After losing the his excuse for the battles and inventions that gave his life meaning, Megamind begins a relationship with Roxanne under a false identity, has a massive argument with his only friend, Minion, and chooses the worst possible person to imbue with superpowers. (You can read more about what might have led to that particular misstep in Why Did Megamind Choose Hal.) All of this ends badly.

Let’s look at the argument first. Not only does the blue man likely feel terrible for hurting his friend—there is ample evidence that he does care about Minion—but, following their fight, his henchfish walks out, presumably for good. This is significant because it further destabilizes Megamind’s reality. Minion was far more than a, well, minion.

“It was Megamind and Minion against the world,” Dal said, describing that incident. “And now it is just Megamind.”

It must have been hard enough to be an isolated refugee from a destroyed planet, but without his only friend, the blue alien is truly alone. That loneliness further increases when Roxanne, the only other person to have positive interactions with Megamind during the film, rejects him.

This remains true even though Roxanne Ritchi’s feelings in that moment were both justifiable and reasonable. Upon discovering that the man she’d fallen in love with has been lying about his identity and is, in fact, the same supervillain who regularly kidnapped her, the woman feels understandably shocked, betrayed, and upset. However, it appears likely that that may not have been the way Megamind saw things. Once again, Dal offered some insights

“Roxanne is furious with him, and reacted to his feelings for her with something I read as shock and some incredulity, but which I think Megamind would be way more likely to read as disgust,” he stated. “She insinuates that she thinks he is truly evil, which he would be very willing to believe, at this point.”

Heartbreak is never easy, but when it follows on the heels of other personal hardships it can be even more devastating. The blue man’s emotional response to this final blow is beautifully portrayed in his shattered expression and a single hopeless word: “no.” This is because Megamind truly doesn’t believe she would ever be with him. (He states later on that, being the bad guy, he can never “get the girl.”) This is precisely why he found it impossible to reveal his true identity to his date—although, to his credit, it appeared he was attempting to summon the courage to do so before his disguise failed. He believed that the only way he can have even a taste of romance is by pretending to be someone else.

Add to all of this the setback in the blue man’s emotional growth and it’s not difficult to see why he might be so strongly affected. As mentioned in an earlier post, The Warden, there is evidence that Megamind was pushed into supervillainy from a young age. Thanks to his interactions with Roxanne and a little initial reevaluation of his life, he had started to believe that perhaps he actually could be good until everything fell apart. As a result, his journey to heroism stalls and, had his integrity or will been less strong, he might have abandoned it permanently.

When the cumulative impact of these events is considered from a psychological standpoint, it is frankly amazing that Megamind’s melancholy is not even more severe. He has essentially lost his job, so to speak, his sense of purpose, his best friend, and the girl of his dreams all in a short period of time. As Dal expressed it: “as far as he knows, he has lost everything.” Considering that, when this occurred, he was already emotionally scarred by being orphaned, bullied, and raised in incarceration, the man’s resilience is certainly noteworthy. However, that doesn’t mean he was immune; far from it. Dal pointed out how one scene, following his breakup, illustrates exactly how bad Megamind’s emotional state had become.

“When he gets back to the Evil Lair, he has not slept. Minion is still gone… And [Megamind] does not sleep. He gears up to fight Titan in an untested battle suit, and says that line about: ‘It's time to go down in style.’”

At first glance, viewers might assume that the blue man is referring to Titan going down, or perhaps to himself inevitably losing the battle and returning to jail, but Dal suggested that the statement may hide a darker meaning. Megamind might, on some level, intend for this battle to be his last. It’s possible that what he really means is that he wants to go out with a proverbial bang.

That’s right. Megamind, at this point in the movie, has developed situational depression, perhaps even passive suicidal ideation. He has hit rock-bottom, he feels his life has crumbled into pieces, and his actions have become reckless.

“I do not think Megamind cares a whole lot, in that moment, whether he comes back from this fight at all,” Dal explained. “I think he is desperate and angry and upset and self-destructive… But also, he does not actually want to die. This is an important distinction. He wouldn't mind being dead but he does not want to die; he wants his life back.”

This fan theory makes sense. Keep in mind that re-establishing the status quo was, after all, the entire reason for creating the Infuser Gun in the first place. What the former villain really wanted in that scene was to return a sense of stability, order, and purpose to his existence. This may also be why, when everything else falls apart, Megamind appears to fixate on his battle with Titan.

“We see this in the way he interacts with Titan,” Dal stated. “He waits for HOURS before going to see wtf is up. He is dismayed to realize how far sideways his ‘turn Hal into a hero’ plan has gone, and he pulls out all the stops in goading Titan into fighting after all. He does not stop to think about whether this is a bad idea—he does not care. Titan is the one shot he has at restoring some sense of familiarity to the world… And he gets what he's looking for! He is so relieved to finally lose. Finally, for a few bright seconds, the world makes sense.”

That brief moment of emotional and mental clarity is also what jolts Megamind into action when he realizes Titan is homicidal. After reveling in a feeling of renewed purpose, the blue man suddenly realizes that his life can still have stability. That completely changes his outlook.

“At this point I think he is probably back to wanting to live, because this is where he finally displays some self-preservation. He felt okay for like three whole seconds and a fight; it's enough to get him into a less awful head space and into survival mode,” Dal said.

When Titan begins destroying Metro City, it pushes Megamind to overcome his internal struggles because he sees that the problem is much larger than its immediate effects on himself. This is important for three reasons: it reconnects Megamind with the world around him, proves that despite being a supervillain he possesses empathy, and provides him with a new purpose. All at once, the blue man understands that his reason for living doesn’t have to come solely from having a nemesis; it can be something bigger and more meaningful than that.

Thus Megamind defeats his greatest enemy: depression. The fact that he has to face this particular monster during the course of the narrative makes the former villain both more realistic and more impressive. It’s relatively easy to fight another person compared to battling darkness within yourself, and actually conquering the latter takes enormous strength of character. Yet Megamind does exactly that, becoming a better man and building a better life as a result. It serves to offer a message of hope to others fighting the same foe. The inclusion of such a deep and mature theme in this animated film is simply one more reason why it is one of the greatest things DreamWorks has ever produced. Little wonder that so many, even among adults, are devoted fans of this amazing movie.

[yangwonz]

enhypen as boys i’ve had a crush on

pairing: enha x gn!reader (except sunoos im sorry (implied x fem!reader))

genre: my sad-sad love life

warnings: implied alcohol consume in jakes, haven’t proofread, if u notice something pls let me know and i will add it!

a/n: this is not even half of my crushes i don’t think i’m doing very well 😭 thank god my life is so messy tho there’s always something to write about.

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heeseung

-> a close friend, who will never know about my true feelings

you and heeseung met when you switched schools and you two ended up attending the same class. you guys didn’t have much to do with each other, given both of you had your own people to hang out with, besides talking a few words, but you had your eyes on him since the very first day. weirdly enough, a year later your friendgroups merged and just like that you obviously befriended him too. this could’ve meant the beginning of your friends to lovers story, but you had to find out that heeseung was indeed taken already. it hurt you, of course it did, but you settled to just being his friend and wished that as the time goes by your feelings for him will fade away. even though you exactly know, that the more you hang out with him, the deeper you’re falling for him.

jay

-> the boy who fell in love with my best friend

jay and you got to know each other, when he was in the ninth and you were in the eight grade. he was a close friend of one of your friends from his grade. he was quite nice to you sometimes, but your relationship mostly consisted of him teasing you for whatever. you never understood as for why, but you somehow developed a crush on him, even though you swore that he was totally not your type. gathering all your might and braveness, one day you confessed your feelings for him. you didn’t have much hope, but his apologizing look and him telling you that he is in love with your best friend did devastate you.

jake

-> an old classmates friend i met at a birthday party

you both were a bit tipsy the time you met an old classmate of yours, who then proceeded to introduce you to the boy next to him: jake. it was one of your friends birthday party, so you obviously had a few drinks. he offered to make you another drink, promising you that he was a pro, to which you just had to agree to, because damn he is indeed veryyy pretty. you have seen pictures of him on instagram already so you knew he looked good, but he was just even more mesmerizing in real life. nothing much happened between the two of you other than a bit of flirting, but that’s totally okay.

sunghoon

-> the boy i ghosted because my best friend from back then fell in love with him

in fifth grade, you and sunghoon got a lot closer. he texted you every day after school, just about whatever was on his mind and the two of you ended up talking until late at night (your mom wasn’t very fond of this behaviour). he gave you chocholates sometimes saying that “he has way too much at home”, or downloaded all one direction songs, because he knew you loved them, and shared earphones with you, whenever you and him went home from school together. he stood up for you when you told him that some boys from your grade were mean to you. it was a blooming puppy love between two kids, which had to end, because your best friend at that time told you, that she’s head over heels in love with sunghoon. because you loved her so much, and didn’t want her to be sad, you decided to stop talking to sunghoon (you even blocked him lol) and promised her to help her with her crush on him. only for her to announce a week later, that she doesn’t like him anymore. you tried to make things good again, but sunghoon was just so mad, that he never heard you out. a few months later you moved to a different country, but wherever you are, you never fail to think back to the very first time you were truly in love.

sunoo

-> my first crush from kindergarden whose dad forbid us to be friends

you will never forget your first day in kindergarden. you were a shy kid, but were brave enough to go up to this on girl on the swings, who later became your best friend at the time. she introduced you to sunoo, and the three of you ended up being unseparable. you often thought of sunoo when you were at home, how cute he looked when he smiled all-so-brightly and how nice he was to you. it made you sad, whenever a day or week came to an end and you had to say goodbye to him. you weren’t sure what this feeling was, but you wanted to be around him all the time. one day though, everything changed. he didn’t come to play with you and y/f/n, sunoo straight up acted like he didn’t know who you two at all. you couldn’t understand as of why he is acting like that and tried to talk to him while apologizing in case you did or said something hurtful without noticing. nevermind your efforts, he ignored you and proceeded to find new friends. later, your friend told you that he stopped playing with you two, because his dad didn’t want him to be friends with girls.

jungwon

-> the boy i became friends with when i was at the hospital but never saw again

you were sent to the hospital when you were around seven years old and the thought of being there absolutely scared you. after your mom had to leave for a bit you totally lost it and just cried (turns out rather loudly) in your room. a little boy, who was in the room next to you, and his mom heard you and came over to ask you if everything is alright. they kept you company until your mom came back. the two started a conversation and got along very well, and so did you and the little boy aswell. you spent the remaining days playing together, and he never failed to make fun of you for crying so hard on that day. but also, he always gave you his favourite car toys and in exchange you let him think out a storyline for when he agreed to play dolls with you. years later, you just randomly remembered of him, and found out that you never even asked him what his name is. your mom came to rescue though, and told you that the boy is named jungwon. you hope that wherever jungwon is, he is doing just alright.

ni-ki

-> the boy from my dance course i always wished to get paired up with

your mom signed you up for a dance course when you were in the first grade. it didn’t take you long to notice ni-ki, who just seemed so talented and cute in your eyes. he took the spotlight in almost all performances, always dancing in the front, while you were behind for most of the time, like he was an idol and you were his background dancer. sometimes, you would have to dance in pairs, and you wished and prayed to just be able to dance with him one time, but there was a certain girl by his side all the time. but they complemented each other well, and you never failed to notice his saddened look in his eyes, whenever she missed practice. so ni-ki just stayed your, once again, unfullfilled crush.

[hollyhomburg]

Before I Leave You (Pt.4)

(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)

Summary: Yoongi makes his choice, so does Moonbyul.

Pairing: Beta! Yoongi, Omega! Reader, Omega! Jungkook, Omega! Seokjin, Alpha! Namjoon, Alpha! Hoseok, Alpha! Taehyung, Alpha! Jimin,

Tags: Graphic material, Death, Murder, Dead bodies and dying described in detail, brief suicide attempt, suicidal thoughts, depression, DARK THEMES, guilt, blood, a touch of blood kink? drugs, murder/crime themes, guilt, kinda fuck or die vibes? finally fluff at the end, mating marks, 

W/c: 7.1k

A/n: here is the moment you’ve all been waiting for! the big d word moment!!! my carpal tunnel is acting up, I will probably not be able to get the next chapter out for a few days or until next week. Chronologically the next chapter continues after part 1. 

(PLEASE READ TAGS FOR CW BEFORE YOU PROCEED)

Previous part — Masterlist

Part 4: If I Have You 

Pulling the trigger is the easiest thing you’ve ever done. 

Geumjae’s body flinches back from the force of the bullet. The ceiling splattering with the spray of his blood. It hits the side of your face too, your white shirt crested with red at the shoulders, dripping down your throat along with the blood from your mating bite. It’s a percussive splatter, noisy as it hits the wall.

People never talk about how blood gets everywhere during a murder. Yoongi is unable to stop his flinch when Geumjae’s brain matter and viscera splatter against him, just a little. 

Yoongi didn't think you'd actually do it. 

He watches you shove the body away from you, hard, what's left of his head, an empty vessel, hitting the floor with a hollow thud. His hands leave you for the last time, but the pain isn't finished. 

Yoongi barely has the forethought to lunge forward, knees scraping, wrestling the gun out of your hand before you can turn it on yourself. The barrel of the gun is hot when Yoongi's hands close around it and yank it away from your own temple. The smell of burning skin joins the metallic scent of murder. Your scent is a mess- it’s barely had a chance to mix with Geumjae’s burning wood-burning bread and wrath, rainstorms, and gunpowder. 

He shouts your name but you don't respond. 

Yoongi yanks the gun from your hands, probably hurting your fingers but panicked when he hurls the gun to the other side of the room and takes your hands in his, wrestling with you and screaming your name until the fight goes out of you. 

You’re hyperventilating when you stop struggling. Both of your wrists pinned above your head in both of Yoongi’s hands, his knees pressing your legs to stillness in a way that could be sexual but isn't- it's the easiest way for him to restrain you- both sprawled on the bloody floor. Yoongi’s crying, tears dripping down his nose, every other drop shines pink from what's on his face.  

“Yoongi please- please just let me go- I don’t want to become a ghost- I don't wanna become a walking corpse.” The way you look breaks his heart, your neck so bruised and bloody, your face swelling too from Geumjae’s hits. The way your eyes hold only darkness and no warmth as you look at him and beg- beg him to let you take your life. Your pupils are so small he can't see them at all. 

“Let me die Yoongi- please just- if you do one thing for me- let do this. let me go."

Yoongi looks at your mating mark and can already see the thin tracery of ink spreading under your skin- inky blackness spreading from your mating bite and up your throat. A piece of someone who’s dead inside of you, shot through with silver to make it stand out more. 

It’s like some silly zombie bite in a bad horror movie but it’s so much more haunting, The veins in your eyes are even starting to discolor. You have maybe a few minutes before the mating bite takes you over completely and you’re mated to someone dead.

Zombie movies were nothing more than fear of this taking root in common culture, everyone fears losing their mate. What else is more terrifying than something that takes your humanity in the way that this has taken yours. This is every person’s worst nightmare- a death sentence.  

‘Ghosts’ are what society has dubbed the women and men who live after losing their partners. Most of the time they live without alpha or a pack- unable to bond to anyone else ever again once their mates are dead. Mating bites are a one-time thing. 

When one-half of a mated pair dies- a person's body has a peculiar way of letting outsiders know how to treat them gently- The mating mark turns black like a brand. A mark to let everyone know that they would never have another person to take care of them- to love them.

But you aren’t alone- you’re not alone because you have Yoongi and he’s right here with his wide palms on you. Hands that where always made to fix things, but you aren’t just some broken toy that needs a bit of glue.  He’s too late, just seconds too late and only inches away. 

He grips both of your forearms in either of his palms hands, pulling you closer. Making you sit up, dragging you into his lap like carrying your weight in his arms will fix this. Anything to hold onto you- to not lose you too soon. 

"Stop- just stop, I've got you- I've got you," Yoongi repeats it more for himself than he does for you.

But there are wounds in your body that can’t be fixed by simple hoping. There is a limit to what one person can take. Despair is one hell of a drug and while Yoongi fights and fights there is no undoing what Geumjae has done to you.

But maybe…

Yoongi dares to hope; “It’s only a half bond if we-“ he falls silent as the idea settles over him like a bucket of cold water. His brain rushing over everything he’s ever learned about mating bites and beta’s; all of the statistics and articles that Namjoon had shoved down his throat when Jungkook had first stopped having seizures. 

The medical mystery that betas were; how they were able to heal unseen hurts and maybe- maybe this was like that. Maybe the solution to this problem lays in Yoongi’s veins, in his mouth. 

His jaw aches at the very suggestion of it.  “I’m a beta- and betas don’t usually mark- because- because they’re stronger than alpha and omega bites.” 

It’s the only truth that makes sense. All of the stories of omegas and alphas going crazy after being bitten by betas, not being able to move from them too far, extreme clinginess- a bond that was too close, too strong, stronger than anything else in their life. You weren’t supposed to bond with someone so deep, the bite almost seemed to do more harm than good. 

But you’re already dying and there isn’t much worse that could happen to you.

You don't have anything to lose but Yoongi does. You shake yourself free from his arms and pull back. Recoiling from what he’s offering to do for you; tether him to you forever when you might not make it. 

You can already feel the mating mark taking hold- It's already starting to cloud your judgment, deep down, the part of you that cares if you survive this is already winking out. The blankness sinking through your every inch, The emptiness. You’d be surprised if you lifted your hand to your chest and found your heart still beating. 

“Yoongi- No- you don’t have to- you’ve already got a pack and don’t- don’t bind yourself to someone like me.”

It’s the same argument that you had before but there’s no force behind it- every stupid excuse you had for him not to love you is moot now that your husband is dead next to you. But you're done; Every breath takes more effort than it should and you feel so heavy. You look down at your lap and feel the lethargy sinking beneath your bones like lead. Hidden hands gripping around your throat cutting off your words.

You feel like you’re choking on something. 

You’ve felt depressed before (how could you not have given what your life was like before Yoongi). And having a mating mark from someone deceased feels like that but worse, like it's turned up by a factor of three. A weird mixture of dizzy, absent, and dissociative. You have never felt less connected to your own body, it feels foreign.

You are nothing but a soul inside a body, craving release. A thread of black that wants to tug you down to where ever Geumjae is now. 

The sinking sadness says to you with gentle hands- this is a fine spot. You can just sit here, It’s okay. You don’t have to move, you can just sit here until you die. As long as no one bothers you and hurts you again, you could just sit here, as long as it was quiet and peaceful. Things don't even have to be good, you don't need good things, you just need it to not hurt anymore. Until the earth reclaims you like it takes abandoned buildings. 

 A sharp pain that goes through your heart, an ache so deep that it speaks to cavernous places, wakes monsters that you didn’t know where there. 

You’ve never really wanted to die before, maybe as a passing thought- but didn’t everyone think that way? it’s so different now- where the thoughts are all consuming, running over your words in your head like oil spreading and staining cloth. 

Die- want to die- want- want- want die- wanna go- wanna be quiet- wanna fall asleep and not wake up- want to- 

But if you decided to lay here and not get up again, Yoongi would stay too.

He would try and get you to move, probably beg and try to get you to live. Even if he never bit you, he’d stay next to you until the end, just to hold your hand so that you didn’t have to be completely alone. You thought dying would feel more lonely,  But maybe it doesn't feel that way because Yoongi’s here. 

His hand closes around yours, his thumb rubbing soothing circles as he cries. And you think if you want one thing; it's for him to stop crying. Out of all people- Yoongi doesn't deserve the hurt (but maybe you're biased because you love him).

That tips the scale in his favor.

Geumjae’s blood is pooling on the floor. His body gives a twitch, the last remnants of his misfiring nerves as he dies. You feel the painful jerk in your mating bond. Yoongi watches the muscles of your neck twitch. 

Neither you nor Yoongi pays him any mind. 

"You don't have to do this Yoongi." Yoongi’s hand on your cheek- is like a balm to those words, pushing them out of your head. “You can’t take it back. If I die- you could die too.”

“But I want to” he kisses your cheek- and the contact lights a flame down your neck to your touch starved heart. The heat flares to light and the next second your body and your mouth are aching to bite. Your instincts an avalanche around you begging you to complete the bond that’s tearing through you making you shake. He kisses a little closer to your lips, cheeks wet and cool against your skin.

Geumaje and Yoongi were related by blood at all, maybe your instincts can’t tell the difference. 

“I don’t care if it does- I can’t- I’m not going to just let you die” his voice breaks on the last word. Not when it was me who was too slow to save you; He won’t say the words or whisper his guilt into the open air. 

“Please sweetheart- let me.” He kisses your lips. So soft- achingly soft, Your first kiss, you wish it had happened under better circumstances.

You hate that the first kiss you and Yoongi share tastes like blood.

But there would be more- there could be more kisses if Yoongi manages to do what he’s saying he can. The mark on your shoulder is already healing, the blackness stretching to scar treacherously fast. Normal mating bites usually take a day or so to heal, but not yours, it’s already scabbing and sealing in the poision.

If you’re going to try this- if it’s going to work- it has to be now. The bond is advancing, regardless of the fact that Geumjae is barely dead, barely cooling beside the two of you.

It’s barely been 10 minutes since you shot him. And if you listen carefully- you can hear sounds in the rest of the house, maybe someone else from the gang here- about to come upstairs and discover the mess of you three. muffled voices and heavy footsteps grow louder by the second. 

Yoongi is safe but you’re not. “Yoongi,” you say, his name a broken hymn on your mouth. Musical- and Yoongi can’t think of a time when he wouldn’t want to hear it. Hoping for more of this closeness and maybe one day, a love that doesn’t hurt.

You get the feeling that even if you are broken beyond repair, this man could fix you. Wide hands and careful fingers that rub the blood away from your skin, hands made for making things and mending things when they break. And maybe you’re selfish enough to let him bind himself to you- broken as you are.

You press your forehead to his, you have to ask one more time. "Are you sure Yoongi?"

He nods, quick and small, "I'm sure." there isn’t anything in his eyes that makes you doubt him.

"Okay," you say softly, tugging him closer, tilting your chin up to the sky, your skin stings where it stretches around the mating mark. "okay. Come here then."

Your hands tangle in Yoongi’s hair as you guide his mouth to your throat, and his mouth sliding into the space where Geumjae was just minutes ago. He lingers for just half a breath before sinks his teeth over the mating mark, a little deeper- his mouth a little wider. He makes the bite a tiny bit offset.

Your breath hitches, back arching. His hands-on your waist go hard, holding you closer to him, as close as he can get you. Unlike before when Geumjae’s bite was agony, this feels like heroin- like every drug mixing together sending you up and up.

If you looked down and saw your hands were tipped in gold you wouldn’t be surprised. For a second you think you can taste colors, and then the chocolate sea salt of Yoongi settles over your tongue delicious, like ambrosia- fuck it’s so strong, it’s halfway between a headache and a high. You gasp when you feel it, feel Yoongi all over, Goosebumps rising on your arms as he touches you. The smell of ocean breeze and chocolate filling you in a way that Geumjae’s scent didn’t.

Geumjae’s bite was nothing compared to this, a whisper to a symphony. 

This must be what a mating bite feels like when you want it. You cry out. Gripping the lapels of his coat. Yoongi’s heartbeat thunders in your ears, the only thing you can hear, until the beat matches to your own, heartbeats pumping in sync.

Your blood tastes sweet and he wonders what it says about him that he likes the taste. He gulps at it- once- twice- and then a third time just to make sure the mark sticks, maybe he could suck a little bit of Geumjae out of you.

His kisses get feverish, lapping up your blood with wide laves of his tongue, moaning a little. and this time when you kiss- with your blood in his mouth, they get hurried and rushed like he can consume you, each one sweeter than the last. There is one moment of nausea, only one moment where Yoongi sees the black tracery receded and feels it dim. 

Maybe it’s not gone, but at least it's buried.

Yoongi can almost feel you, can almost feel the bond, but not yet. Your scent, it's all cake-sweet now. You kiss him until your jaw aches until your lips feel bruised. Until you know the sounds below actually are people, rushing around trying to find Geumjae. Calling out your names. 

Yoongi is the first to break apart, the room spinning. “Do me” he lifts the edge of his shirt, picking out a spot that he likes, the meat just above his hip. A spot is half-hidden by his shirt and his pants.

Not everyone likes to have their mating marks on their neck (you certainly would have chosen to have yours another place had you been given the chance). And Yoongi stretches out so that you can get your mouth on him, your mouth on the spot he wants to bind your soul to his.

He holds one of your hands in both of his hands so gently as you cup his hip and bite down, even as you begin to make out the noise of gang members coming up the attic stairs. Yoongi bites down a moan, lets you take one gasp of blood into your mouth before your teeth leave his skin.

The high rushes over him and he knows his pupils are mirrors of yours, black and dilated. He just has time to wipe his blood from your mouth and get you as close as he can, before the attic door creaks, the barrel of a gun pushing it open. And the gangsters enter the room with practiced steps.

Yoongi pulls his shirt back down just before they have a chance to see.

You play the part, slumping against him and letting him take the reigns. the people must take it for pain even though you’re shaking not with sobs, but from the feeling of Yoongi’s soul intertwining with yours. Full body shivers and something solidifying between the two of you. 

Together you shake, Yoongi is barely aware of the gangsters clearing the room. 

You feel like you can taste his thoughts, though you can’t actually hear what he's thinking. You can feel the way they tumble like small waves over each other. You feel concern and something else, something that feels an offal lot like love shoot down the fledgling bond as Yoongi’s arms pull you up, firmer against him.

It makes shivers rise on every inch of your skin, the pleasure he feels when he touches you that you're now hyper-aware of. It's what your body has been craving- the completion of the bond.

You both bleed- your blood dripping onto the floor. One part sacrament and sacred love and another part poisonous longing for a man you hated so much more than you ever loved him. This feels strange, it feels wrong, and that you have one part of you reaching out for something that’s not there. And then this- with Yoongi, right and front of you and inside of you. Completely occupying your heart and your mind and your body.

Accept for that one poisoned inch; you might not be completely his, but it's enough now, the bond with yoongi occupying those thoughts you'd had minutes before.

The gangsters don’t touch Geumjae, at least until Moonbyul enters the room, unarmed. Yoongi’s cousin eyes Yoongi from the door. There isn’t enough room in this torture room for the 12 or so gangsters and the three of you, they press against the walls, guns at the ready.

Moonbyul approaches Geumjae’s corpse, turning him over with her foot to see his blankly staring face, turning it towards the heavens instead of hell. For a moment, Yoongi thinks she might actually kick him. She plucks her pink handgun from the floor. Someone passes her a rag and she wipes it free of blood and fingerprints.

Her eyes on Yoongi are hard; a bit of mirth playing on the edge of her mouth as she plays her hand. A queen in a room full of pawns and knights, and the king underfoot. Her hand of aces. 

Betting it all on a simple game of roulette- red or black- will Yoongi challenge her or not. Yoongi doesn't miss the way her finger hovers on the trigger. 

“I suppose this entire situation would be concerning to me- if you hadn’t already named me as Don.” she nudges Geumjae's body again with her foot. "I guess he didn't take it well?"

She lies effortlessly, taking the moment to seize power. So this was what she was waiting for. Yoongi doesn’t challenge her words for fear of what she might do right now, not that he really would anyway. 

Yoongi tips his head forward in difference, “No he didn’t,” 

Moonbyul tucks her gun back into her waistband, and holds out her hand to pull yoongi to his feet. 

Yoongi takes you with him, small and still a little high in his arms. You hide your face in Yoongi’s shoulder, Holding onto him tight. You don’t know if you could take it if they tried to separate you now. 

Yoongi has to swallow to continue, struggling to think before he speaks with so many new sensations shocking his body. He's intimately aware of the way you shift in his arms, arms tightening around you at the very idea of you moving more than an inch away from him right now as you settle onto your own two feet. still a little unsteady. 

“He- he mated her against her will, and then he tried to kill us when I told him I wouldn’t- and- and after-” It’s not a lie- not really, but it still feels that way. Moonbyul doesn't need to do anything more than that to nod to call her men off, and they all relax around the room. 

They instantly fade from engaged concern to understanding. The other heads of household will probably grill Yoongi more. But you’ve both got time to get your story straight. For now, they need to clean up the body.

It helps that threatening the beta is a punishable offense; no one will question Yoongi killing him- especially since they’re brothers. Most of the families tend to think that inner house spats that family's business. Yoongi doesn’t know which of his relatives will inherit the title of head of the Min family, but it won't be Yoongi.

You’re small and silent in Yoongi’s arms, so vulnerable, he keeps you a few paces away from any of the mobsters, bites down a growl whenever any of them come too close to his mate. It’s just the mating bond making it’s self-known. You are his. No one can touch you.

Yoongi has never been a possessive man, but now he is. The mating mark tearing through him and screaming at him to protect, to provide, to nurture, and keep safe. He strokes down your back as his cousin quietly orders the others to clean up the mess and Geumjae’s body. The family has cleanup crews on call for this very reason.

They quietly offer to burn the house down to stage the death but Yoongi doesn’t care. He guesses it belongs to him now or maybe you. It depends on which bond the family will consider more important; the bonds of a half mating or the bond of brotherhood.

“I’ll handle it-“ his cousin has the good grace to offer comfort to Yoongi that way when he gets you into her car. she doesn't say anything about the dents in the side.  

Yoongi doesn’t quite hate her for any of this, but he doesn’t trust her the same way he did before either. She’s gotten what she wanted- the Don position. Plucked it from Yoongi’s hands.

“You haven’t had a chance to call the heads of house and tell them about your decision yet, but after that, you should be free to go” she reads him easily as always, The only other manipulator up to par with Yoongi himself in the gang. She knows that not an inch of Yoongi wants to stay in this house or this city a second longer.

At the idea of leaving you to straighten up in Yoongi’s lap to listen in a little more, you share a look with Yoongi. Your mate, your body sings the eye contact makes you shiver in your seat. Yoongi pulls you closer, stroking up to your arm mistakenly thinking you’re cold. You pull yourself closer to him- but it feels like you can’t get close enough, He makes a dissatisfied noise in his throat.

Yoongi will have to get used to this feeling. Like his soul is walking outside of his body. It feels incredibly vulnerable and intimate- He can feel your panic, how physically you’re being torn apart right now, every few minutes you shake. Yoongi puts your legs over his and holds you close. Watching your face closely for every twinge of pain as the lights of the city flicker over you two.

The meeting with the heads of house is tense, though the usual group of is two short now, standing only at eleven members now that Geumjae is gone and Moonbyul is named Don. You cannot be Don and a head of house at the same time.

It takes every bone in Yoongi’s body to let you be taken into the other room by Moonbyul’s mate to check over your injuries. He stops her with a hand on her shoulder. He catches Moonbyul’s nostrils flare, but she doesn’t say anything. “Would you look at her bruises for me?”

Later Yoongi will check them himself, again and again until he's sure you're all right. But the sooner you get ice on the nastier bruises the better off you’ll be. Someone should look at your ribs and your head too- he has half a mind to take you to the hospital before you leave the city. He doesn’t know how long it will be before you’re stationary again. He’d stay in the city tonight if you needed to. But he can feel your panic down the bond, The sooner you both get out of here the better.

With Geumjae dead there is no true opposition against his cousin's rule. She stands at the head of the table like she’s meant to be there. And still- the heads of the families talk through the night, kicking the non-proverbial dead horse into the ground. There is little mourning for Geumjae, one granny who cries faintly in the other room while the heads argue. Yoongi supposes he should look more upset, but no one pays attention to him now that he’s made his choice.

No, what they spend most of the time discuss is you. Sat in the other room, able to hear all of this, the men and woman weighing your fate and deciding what to do with you. If Yoongi listens, he can hear Hyejin’s quiet voice. Can feel your discomfort as the ice hits your ribs, maybe broken, definitely badly bruised.

Yoongi flinches every time he feels the pain pulse down the bond. Maybe in time, it will feel less sensitive but right now- Yoongi can feel your hurts just as bad as he can feel his own. A part of him is reaching out into the other room, screaming in his ear to go comfort his mate.  

He has a mate. Yoongi can scarcely believe it.

The gangsters around the table remain blissfully unaware of that fact. Most of the heads are on the same page, and he won’t reveal his mating mark unless he absolutely needs to, he will let that secret stay secret unless necessary. It’s a good bargaining chip. They wouldn’t kill you if they knew it was going to kill him too. But still- it’s hard to hear them argue over your fate when he can’t intervene.

“You know the rules- no divorces and no separations,” one alpha says, he’s older- nearing 60, but Yoongi can’t excuse that cruelty with age. The youngest, the head of the Ahn house does the rebutting for Yoongi, and he bites his tongue.

“But it wouldn’t be a divorce; she’s his widow now and his ex-mate technically.”

“Yes but that’s only a half bond.” There is only one omega head, and the woman snubs her long cigarette out on the table leaving an ashy circle 

“It’s only the alpha bite that matters- or have you forgotten?”

To her credit, the omega doesn't back down. “Chances are she’ll die anyway why are we even talking about her, we should start transitioning already.”

“That’s easy to say- if she’s got nothing left to lose what’s to stop her from going to the police.”

“I can keep an eye on her,” Yoongi volunteers, jumping at the chance to turn the discussion to his favor. They can all go fuck themselves if they ever dare to try and hurt you. “You say she’s as good as dead anyway. So you shouldn't mind if she comes with me.” 

The likelihood of anyone living after their mate dies is in the teens. Yoongi knew that and even then he bonded to you anyway. He can only hope that with his bite coursing through your veins and your body confused that you’ve got better odds than that. Yoongi did what he promised to do, now your odds are both 50/50. “I’ll make sure she doesn’t go to the police.”

Through the bond he can feel your curiosity and a little bit of fear too, you’re listening in. And he does his best to let his calmness comfort you too. Your panic instantly relaxes and he senses you reaching out. If you were next to Yoongi you’d be holding hands, and it kind of feels that way. If you could ever hold hands with someone’s soul.

“You realize that if you make her your responsibility, anything bad that happens will fall on your head as well” their betas might be sacred- but they aren’t free from the rest of the laws of the gang.

“I understand.” The Don lifts her head, regarding Yoongi with a heavy look. “She’s his widow and whether we want to address it now or not, the law says she’s inherited his wealth.”

It's met with immediate opposition, several heads of house start speaking over each other at once,  but Yoongi speaks up again, shouting over them. A beta raising their voice is about as strange as one giving or getting a mating bite, everyone falls silent. “Give it to me or her- I don’t care.”

another few minutes and they’re ready to let you go. they vote on it, and only 3 out of 11 heads vote to have you killed. Moonbyul gives the all clear, “Then you’re free to go.” Yoongi doesn’t even say goodbye, going to you in the other room just as quickly as he can without outright running. The Don’s mate is crouched in front of where you sit. Your body is mostly clean of blood and you’ve been put in other clothes; a pair of sweats and a baggy shirt.

Yoongi can see all the bruises on the side of your face turning purple and Yoongi wants to cup your face and bring it to his, kiss away the pain coloring your skin like watercolors, but can’t do it here. “Do we need to go to the hospital?” 

“Not for her but maybe for you, no ones checked you over yet, have they?”

yoongi grits his teeth, seconds away from snapping at hyejin, he wants her to get away, get as far from you as possible. “i asked if she needed the hospital.” 

Hyejin stands when Yoongi crouches. shaking her head when it becomes clear yoongi isn’t to be argued with right now. “There’s something wrong with her- but I think you know what” her eyes hover on Yoongi’s hip.

 So at least she’s figured it out. She has the good sense to utter the words quietly. Though the people in the other room aren’t concerned with Yoongi anymore, they’ve already launched into discussions about transitioning power and re-defining responsibilities. It seems Moonbyul had a plan on how she wanted the family to run from the beginning.  

He shakes off his annoyance, “Thank you,” he says to the omega, holding out a hand to you, which you take, still not saying anything. Tiredness holding you down to the chair. The same kind of look you’d had when Geumjae had died. The mating mark has been taped over but some of the blackness is still there. Yoongi wonders when it will fade, if it ever does.

“I wish I could say I’ll see you soon but I don’t think I will.” You and Yoongi nod, your hands twined between the two of you. She knows that neither you nor Yoongi has a love for the gang. No one stops you and Yoongi when you leave the house. Immediately hailing a taxi. You stop only at Yoongi’s safe house for a spare 20 minutes, while he packs up a fraction of his belongings in a hurried rush, anything to get out before someone tries to change their mind.

If Geumjae had any hidden loyalists the beta that killed him and his runaway wife would be the first targets. Let alone their reaction if they knew who had really killed Geumjae. The quicker the two of you get away from the city the better.

You end up at the train station, Yoongi breaks the bracelets off of your wrist- the same ones that he saw you wear on you the first night- and the ones that he’s always thought looked like shackles. He yanks at them as hard as he can until they snap; kissing your wrist after each one is off. You throw them over the side of the chain-link fence and into the darkness- to be lost forever you hope. The symbols of all you’ve lost.

When you get on the train, you cuddle close under Yoongi’s jacket and into his warmth. He’s a protective barrier between you and the third seat that thankfully remains empty this late into the night it’s so late it’s nearly early morning. Most of the train is empty besides an elderly couple at the front. Regardless, the two of you sit behind them. Yoongi can’t take his eyes off of the potential threat. Actually flinches when the conductor comes around to stamp your tickets.

You head off into the night- your little box of light in a sea of street lamps and hidden dangers. You almost fall asleep a few times, head bobbing as you catching yourself before it hits his shoulder. After the third time this happens he pulls you in close, tucks your head close to his scent gland, and commands “sleep” in a voice that you cannot disobey.

Eventually, you wake, the car is bright with the midday sun and the car is half full. Yoongi’s eyes are bloodshot as they train on every passenger who comes in and leaves your train car. Yoongi holds your hand, rubbing his thumb up and down the back in an endless trail. A conductor opens the door of your train car to pass through, bunching a few tickets here and there from the new passengers who have boarded the train.

He passes by where you're bundled and Yoongi flinches so hard it wakes you fully. his shoulder accidentally nudging a bruise on your cheek, He murmurs his apologies, panicked hands fussing over you. He could feel that he hit one of your bruises and the horror of hurting you make him wide-eyed and worried. You catch his hands, pressing the pads of them to your lips. Yoongi's hands shake as they touch you, hours later, he's still high on adrenaline. 

“You need to sleep Yoongi” it’s been a long few days for both of you.

He doesn’t answer with more than a grunt. But you get off the train at the next stop and it’s nearing noon by the time the two of you stumble across the street to a motel, and it’s shitty and smells like cigarettes and the lady at the front desk asks if you need the hourly rate or the daily rate. Though she does give you a discount because Yoongi’s a beta. Eyeing the blood-soaked collar of his jacket and the bloody bandages on your neck.

You should be holed up somewhere safe away from prying eyes to adjust to your new mating bite- not in a hotel where the smells of other people assault your nose. Making you press close to Yoongi because everything smells so new and scary. Like your senses have been turned up and only Yoongi can quell their sensitivity.

you don’t realize that the attendant gave you two beds until you get to the room. you both stare blankly before you cough and separated. the closeness too much now that you’re alone and free from threats. Though it doesn't feel that way. 

you hate it- you don’t want to curl up across the room from Yoongi- you want to be next to him. you almost whimper when he He steps away to the other bed to set down his backpack. You want to cry, your skin feels irritated and itchy without his pressed to yours. You want him to touch you but you can’t stay it. Don’t know how to ask around the thickness in your throat.

He gets a clean shirt from his black backpack and helps you put it on so that you don’t irritate the mating bite. You can’t lift either of your arms much and neither can he but he pushes through the pain for you. He only has 2 or three sets of clothes that he grabbed from the cottage, and it’s all you’ve got.

“We’ll get some more clothes for you tomorrow.” He doesn’t say that you should have grabbed some of your clothes- because you both know you couldn’t handle staying in that house a second more than was necessary. You barely thought to linger long enough to grab your purse, which thankfully had everything you really need in it. 

Somehow he has athletic tape in his bag, and he spends a few minutes changing out your soaked through bandages, bundling up toilet paper, and taping it over your mating bite. Only after yours is taken care of does he let you do the same for his bite on his hip, and the burns on his hands. 

You pull his pants off and then his boxers down just enough so that you can get at it, small from your mouth, the skin around it irritated and pink. You try not to let your eyes hover on the small happy trail that traces from his belly button downwards. The band on his boxers is stained with blood- and you wonder how much it hurt to have it dig into it all day.

You curl up in separate beds, and only when you’re under the covers do you slide off your pants. leaving you only in a large shirt that smells like yoongi.  Yoongi does the same, says “goodnight” and shuts off the light but doesn’t turn away from you, keeping his eyes on you in the darkness. 

You’re silent for a few minutes, but you can tell that neither of you is falling asleep. Your bed feels cold and you wonder if he feels the same, you let the distance hurt for a minute before you give in.  

"Thank fucking god-" He peels back the blanket for you the second you make the move and dash across the cold room. you scoot into his warmth and he lets out a little ‘oof’ when you collide. Letting him pull you closer, put the blanket over your back, and make sure all of your skin is covered.

It’s not enough for Yoongi and he pulls you sideways so that he can get some of his weight on top of you. A growl building in his chest at the thought of anyone walking through the door right now.

He needs to check the lock, make sure that no one can possibly disturb you. Needs to- the instinct filling him so harshly he can’t breathe. He tries to pull away, but your hands tighten on him, and you let out a whine so heartbreaking that instantly has him releasing comforting chocolate, flopping back on top of you nuzzling under your chin, you feel like you’re drowning in it. 

Your love with Yoongi is still too new and raw to be close like this without feeling shy- and yet you can’t resist, your mating bond is like a fresh burn that you can’t stop picking at because it hurts. (Like there’s something dead there that you need to get rid of, you can’t heal around, you need to tear it out so that it feels more like bleeding rather than something that was carved out by hungry heat.) You fiddle with the bandage at your neck before Yoongi takes your hand in his, lacing your fingers together.

For a moment, you crave the release that blood might give you- and like he can feel it. Yoongi presses a kiss to the back of your hand. “Couldn’t sleep?” Yoongi says. You shake your head. The motel creeks and overhead you can hear someone else moving in an adjacent room. Yoongi gets his head on your pillow and adjusts his hand around your waist so that he’s not hitting the vicious bruise that Geumjae left with one of his kicks.

The last 24 hours have been such a tangle. It feels weird to not move now. Yoongi’s heart is still hammering; you can feel it under your palm. You’re both unwilling to relax and close your eyes even for a second even though you’re both exhausted.

You’re worried if you close your eyes you’re going to see Geumjae's face.

Yoongi left the light in the bathroom on for you. Sensing that the shadows would be too thick with nightmares for you to handle for long. You look at each other in the darkness before Yoongi lets out a shaky little giggle.

“Do you know what I just realized?” he says, the words quieted against the too scratchy bedspread. “We could have gotten a better hotel, we easily have enough money for it now” and that’s true.

If Yoongi’s orders were followed and the gang's accountant really did transfer all of your inherited wealth to your name then- fuck- both of you saw the bank statements. Both of you know how much money Yoongi’s family had amassed- the same wealth that Geumjae had inherited and now you.

“Fuck you’re right,” you say, ducking in so that you don’t have to meet Yoongi’s eyes. Geumjae used to hit you sometimes if you did that- and trained habits die-hard. 

yoongi kisses your brow, slow little pecks that travel down your cheeks, as unhurried as they are sweet. It's strange to be close to him now when it’s all you’ve wanted for the last few months. You never thought you’d get this. It feels like a daydream and a nightmare all at once.

“We could buy a whole house- or three” and even then you’d have more than enough money to live on after. For the rest of your days, comfortable and cozy even if you were foolish with the money. Yoongi still gets his stipend from the gang. No doubt to be greater now that he’s the only beta.

He stops his kisses, mouth hovering on your cheek, “We could do that.” he sounds like he’s barely containing his excitement. 

You’ll both be fine. Neither of you will ever have to worry about money again and it makes you feel sick and happy with something that feels a terrible lot like grief.

Even if you got that- the last 24 hours haven’t been worth it. You’re not entirely out of the woods yet. The mark on your shoulder is scabbing over and inky. But every few hours of closeness that the two of you have- Yoongi think’s he sees the color fade- just a little bit.

You don’t know where the giggle comes from but one moment it comes out of your mouth and you laugh, and Yoongi joins in the sound startling out of his chest. He presses his forehead tight against yours and sighs at the sound. You see the moment clarity falls on him and an idea settles into his mind the second it hits. And dim happiness settles over your bond.

Yoongi lifts your hand to his mouth and kisses your bruised knuckles. “Let's buy a house.”

You smile- tired from today but still willing to placate him. “Okay Yoongi, we can do that.”

Now finally, his eyes are starting to droop, every few seconds he tries to keep them open, but you know he's seconds away from sleep. His words slurred when they whisper, his sweet chocolaty breath tickling your cheeks. “Goodnight sweetheart- love you.”

“Love you too,” it’s the first time you’ve ever said those words to each other. It feels like the first of many times you’ll say it. Forever- you and Yoongi will be mated together until you both die. And who cares if that happens tomorrow or months from now. Who cares? Because you have him and that’s all that matters.

Yoongi holds you and knows- that he will love you- as long as he can.

He watches you sleep, waits until your eyes are closed. Until he can make sure you’re safe and warm. A gentle purring fills the hotel room, soft and peaceful. yoongi hears it louder when he presses his ear to your chest. He tries to keep his eyes open, but somewhere around the second hour- they fall closed.

Neither of you dream.

—————

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[sevensistersofsussex]

hey do you have any BAMF elena fanfic recommendations? i feel like the line between elena’s compassion and her willingness to do anything to keep her loved ones safe and to win, the tenacity of all that is such a fine line. i often find elijah/elena fics where elena is just a bleeding heart and she’s obviously very compassionate and has value for life but there’s so much more to her than that. power playing with the originals, hurting herself to achieve her goals, doing anything necessary to keep jeremy safe- even if it means having him compelled- i was hoping for some fanfiction which recognises that. i’ve read quite a few of yours and i enjoy a lot of them immensely so even if you have any recommendations along those lines, i would be grateful. xx

This ask lead me to just looking through which new stories had Elena in them and so many include the "Elena Bashing" tag, which...thanks for warning me I guess?

Anyway, since I started writing, it has become increasingly more difficult to read new fics and I'm absolutely certain I'm missing some gems out there. So feel free, anyone, to add onto this list with their own 5 (Even if it's your own!)

Tenacity is such a great word for Elena. It's what her marrow is made of.

Anyway, here's a list of five.

The Stars Were Shining Brightly by adlyb (@livlepretre)

This is a really fun fic. The outwitting that Elena displays here to find herself on solid ground with Klaus. Leveraging her wits and cunning against his implicit power. It's very good. I'd also recommend diving into Fairytale Ending afterwards or any number of her other fics. The rest can be thematically a bit darker, but honestly - it tracks with a girl willing to stab herself over and over again to achieve her goals.

All Your Closets are Backlogged Dreams by IJustWoundYou (not on tumblr, but I would lose my mind if they were)

I found this one through a rec and just consumed it. Now I eagerly await new chapters. Multiple Elenas from multiple dimensions and time periods all conspiring together to save this universe's Elena from their fates. It's wonderful. It has a Klaus/Elena tag, but the relationship I'm enjoying so far the most is the friendship with Tyler. This writer only has this fic online, but like a good musical artist, the moment they drop a new single, I'll be there.

plastic crown by noimkillingboys (@jennifersminds)

This writer is imbued with some kind of imagery poetic goddess and you can't convince me otherwise. A lot of focus on Elena rejecting things society wants for her in favor of what she wants for herself and Elijah is there. No-humanity era given space to grieve and heal and taking no prisoners. The epitome of "covered in blood just girly things". This writer has other Elena-centric fics that I'd also recommend.

Riverborn by ferallahey (@feralcherry)

This is only two chapters in but the premise is amazing already. A heavy focus on the friendship between Bonnie, Caroline and Elena and the girls rejecting the toxins in their lives in favor for each other. I am so excited for any new chapters to come out and see how they all manage to navigate expelling the Salvatores from their lives.

I'll also add that this writer does a lot with OCs who are intriguing, fleshed out and unique. They have one fic that got me hooked, Lover's Prelude. It takes Elena a minute to come into her own, but when she does, it makes an impact.

Irresistible by Natasha09 (@katherineholmes)

Another Klaus/Elena fic rec, but honestly I think it's because you have to write Elena in a certain way if she's to get together with Klaus. She can't be a shrinking flower and that is absolutely the case with this fic. There's a scene, which I won't spoil, where Elena is cleaning up a mess that mirrors a lot of the vibes of the show that I adore. Elena, alone at night, dealing with something she absolutely shouldn't be but is. Definitely check out this writer's other stuff too. Make It Holy (a Klena time jump fic), Difference (a Kolena morally grey fic) and Cosmic Love (an Elejah, breaking him free fic).

[dangermousie]

Mousie’s absolutely subjective, very biased Top 10 web novels list

Please note that this is hardly aiming to be objective, if one can even be properly objective about a work of fiction. It is 110% based on my preferences, which means this list is heavy on the angst and has nothing set in the modern day. It is also heavily danmei-centric, even though I read way more het romance than danmei, because for whatever reason, most of the danmei I’ve read has been insanely good.

10. Return of the Swallow - one of the two non-danmeis on this list. Smart and nuanced and with a large cast of characters. Our heroine is a long-lost daughter of the family that is brought back in and has to cope with familial struggles, crazy royals, court intrigue, invasion et al. It’s SO GOOD! There is romance with the sexy smart enemy general but honestly, it’s the heroine that is the main selling point for me.

9. Transmigrator Meets Reincarnator - the only other non-danmei novel on this list, this was my very first web novel and what drew me into this insanity. This is just a ton of fun, probably the lightest novel on this list, not an ounce of angst to be found. But it’s hilarious and features competent heroine and tsundere hero and I will always love it for opening a new world to me. Anyway, our heroine transmigrates into the novel as the female lead. Unlike the original lead though she doesn’t want to seek adventures and angst - she just wants to comfortably live with the wealthy, nice husband heroine has. Alas, said husband is no longer nice since he has previously lived this story where he was betrayed by FL and then transmigrated/reincarnated into the past. Oh well, the heroine opens up businesses and makes friends. And eventually, her husband realizes his wife is way different this time around. This actually doesn’t have much romance, not until close to the end, but this is so fun I don’t care.

8. Lord Seventh - I am only partway through this so far, but it’s already on the list because it’s smart and somehow intense AND laid-back (not sure how this works, but it does) and is honestly just a really really solid and smart period novel, with the OTP a cherry on top of a narrative sundae. Plus, I love the concept of MC deciding he is not going for his supposedly fated love - he’s tried for six lifetimes, always with disaster, and he’s just plain done and tired. When he opens his life in his seventh reincarnation and sees the person he would have given up the world for, he genuinely feels nothing at all. (Spoiler - his OTP is actually a barbarian shaman this time around, thank you Lord!)

7. Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation (MDZS) - oh come on, how are you even on this tumblr if you don’t know MDZS/The Untamed? This was my very first danmei and it’s so much fun! I love everything about it - the unreliable narrator, the looping structure, the main OTP, Wei Wuxian’s laidback, traumatized insouciance, everything. Anyway, the plot in the event you somehow transported here from 2005 is that the Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, Wei Wuxian, was defeated by the righteous sects over a decade ago and fell of a cliff to his death. Only now that same Wei Wuxian opens his eyes in another body and everything that was supposed to stay in the past starts again.

6. Heaven Official’s Blessing (TGCF) - people either love its meandering narrative, picaresque structure and cast of thousands, or find it a detriment compared to much more compact MDZS. I love it even more than MDZS for those very qualities. It does have a rock-solid, darling OTP, but what really elevates it to me are the MXTX trademark combo of snarky/light tone hiding a ton of trauma underneath, the insanely intricate world-building, and what it has to say about the nature of grace and goodness. Xie Lian is one of my top 5 web novel characters and probably in top 10 from anywhere. Oh, and while MXTX’s stuff is not as angsty for me as Meatbun’s or even Priest’s, there are always exceptions, and there is one chapter in this novel that pretty much broke me and sometimes I still flashback to it and feel unwell.

Anyway, what is it about? There is a commotion in the heavenly realm - Xie Lian, the Crown Prince of a long-destroyed kingdom, has ascended to Godhood. That in itself is not so exciting. However for Xie Lian this is the third time (!!!!) as he’s ascended and lost his godhood twice prior. And now, the biggest joke of the divine realm is back, throwing the heavenly realm into chaos. And elsewhere, Hua Cheng, one of the four most powerful demons of that Universe, sits up and takes notice.

5. Golden Stage - my perfect comfort novel. Probably the least angsty of any danmei novel on this list (which still means plenty angsty :P) It also has a dedicated, smart OTP that is an OTP for the bulk of the book - I think you will notice that in most of the novels in this list, I go for “OTP against the world” trope - I can’t stand love triangles and the same. Anyway, Fu Shen, is a famous general whose fame is making the emperor antsy. When he gets injured and can’t walk any more, the emperor gladly recalls him and marries him off to his most faithful court lackey, the head of sort of secret police, Yan Xiaohan. The emperor intends it both as a check on the general and a general spite move since the two men always clash in court whenever they meet. But not all is at is seems. They used to be friends a long time ago, had a falling out, and one of the loveliest parts of the novel is them finding their way to each other, but there is also finding the middle path between their two very different philosophies and ways of being, not to mention solving a conspiracy or dozen, and putting a new dynasty on the throne, among other things. It always makes me think, a little, of “if Mei Changsu x Jingyan were canon.”

4. Sha Po Lang - if you like a lot of fantasy politics and world-building and steampunk with your novels, this one is for you. This one is VERY plot-heavy with smart, dedicated characters and a deconstruction of many traditional virtues - our protagonist Chang Geng, a long-lost son of the Emperor, is someone who wants to modernize the country but also take down the current emperor his brother for progress’ sake and the person he’s in love with is the general who saved him when he was a kid who is nominally his foster father. Anyway, the romance is mainly a garnish in this one, not even a big side dish, but the relationship between two smart, dedicated, deadly individuals with very different concepts of duty is fascinating long before it turns romantic. And if you like angst, while overall it’s not as angsty as e.g., Meatbun stuff, Chang Geng’s childhood is the stuff of nightmares and probably freaks me out more than anything else in any novel on this list, 2ha included.

3. To Rule In a Turbulent World (LSWW) - gay Minglan. No seriously. This is how I think of it. it’s a slice of life period novel with fascinating characters and setting that happens to have a gay OTP, not a romance in a period setting per se and I always prefer stories where the romance is not the only thing that is going on. It’s meticulously written and smart and deals with character development and somehow makes daily minutia fascinating. Our protagonist, You Miao, is the son of a fabulously wealthy merchant, sent to the capital to make connections and study. As the story starts, he sees his friend’s servants beating someone to death, feels bad, and buys him because, as we discover gradually and organically, You Miao may be wealthy and occasionally immature but he is a genuinely good person. The person he buys is a barbarian from beyond the wall, named Li Zhifeng. It’s touch and go if the man will survive but eventually he does and You Miao, who by then has to return home, gives him his papers and lets him go. However, LZF decides to stick with You Miao instead, both out of sense of debt for YM saving his life and because he genuinely likes him (and yet, there is no instalove on either of their parts, their bodies have fun a lot quicker than their souls.) Anyway, the two take up farming, get involved in the imperial exams and it’s the life of prosperity and peace, until an invasion happens and things go rapidly to hell. This is so nuanced, so smart (smart people in this actually ARE!) and has secondary characters who are just as complex as the mains (for example, I ended up adoring YM’s friend, the one who starts the plot by almost beating LZF to death for no reason) because the novel never forgets that few people are all villain. There is a lovely character arc or two - watching YM grow up and LZF thaw - there is the fact that You Miao is a unicorn in web novels being laid back and calm. This whole thing is a masterpiece.

2. Stains of Filth (Yuwu) - want the emotional hit of 2ha but want to read something half its length? Well, the author of 2ha is here to eviscerate you in a shorter amount of time. This has the beautiful world-building, plot twists that all make sense and, at the center of it all, an intense and all-consuming and gloriously painful relationship between two generals - one aristocratic loner Mo Xi, and the other gregarious former slave general Gu Mang. Once they were best friends and lovers, but when the novel starts, Gu Mang has long turned traitor and went to serve the enemy kingdom and has now been returned and Mo Xi, who now commands the remnants of his slave army, has to cope with the fact that he has never been able to get over the man who stabbed him through the heart. Literally. This novel has a gorgeously looping structure, with flashbacks interwoven into present storyline. There is so much love and longing and sacrifice in this that I am tearing up a bit just thinking of it. If you don’t love Mo Xi and Gu Mang, separately and together, by the end of it, you have no soul.

1. The Dumb Husky and His White Cat Shizun (2ha/erha) - if you’ve been following my tumblr for more than a hot second, you know my obsession with this novel. Honestly, even if I were to make a list of my top 10 novels of any kind, not just webnovels, this would be on the list. It has everything I want - a complicated, intricate plot with an insane amount of plot twists, all of which are both unexpected and make total sense, a rich and large cast of characters, a truly epic OTP that makes me bawl, emotional intensity that sometimes maxes even me out and so much character nuance and growth. Also, Moran is my favorite web novel character ever, hands down.

Anyway, the plot (or at least the way it first appears) is that the evil emperor of the cultivation world, Taxian Jun, kills himself at 32 and wakes up in the body of his 16 year old self, birth name Moran. Excited to get a redo, Moran wants to save his supposed true love Shimei, whose death the last go-around pushed him towards evil. He also wants to avoid entanglement with Chu Wanning, his shizun and sworn enemy in past life. And that’s all you are best off knowing, trust me. The only hint I am going to give is oooh boy the mother of all unreliable narrators has arrived!

The novel starts light and funny on boil the frog principle - if someone told me I would be full bawling multiple times with this novel, I’d have thought they were insane, but i swear my eyes hurt by the end of it. I started out being amused and/or disliking the mains and by the end I would die for either of them.

[thedeviljudges]

Do you think there's a chance of Gaon topping Yohan? I'm just curious about your opinion.

Oh absolutely!!! Pretty sure I’ve read a few fics with it, too.

I’m not sure if you’re asking from a fanfic or more of a meta point of view, so I’ll just go with meta because anything can happen in fanfiction.

Realistically, to me personally, I think it would take a lot for yohan to bottom. I think he’s spent so long having his guard up (really, since the day he was born), and he trusts very few. Sex in general, for some, is a very intimate, vulnerable experience, and yohan opening himself up to someone in that way is… probably going to be a lot to handle in the beginning. It’s really easy to say that ‘sex is just sex’ and just a physical act and it’s not a big deal, but it’s not that way for some of us. Someone as emotionally repressed as yohan already has difficulty letting others see him, and I think that’s applicable for a lot of components of his life. Gaon wormed his way in, and I think yohan would eventually trust him in that way. That’s not to say Gaon is more open to these experiences - we don’t have a lot of his personal history aside from his parents, but we clearly see on screen the different ways in which yohan and gaon handle emotions. Gaon having a much more impulsive streak when he’s angry, but he’s so much more open when it comes to caring and loving people.

We could also play devil’s advocate and think yohan’s up for anything given he’s more logic-based and obsessed with human nature, but I really don’t see it that way. I think he hides behind a persona in public and his layers were slowly unveiled in the Kang house to reveal that while in many instances he follows the predictability of humans, there is enough room for surprises to upend some of his belief in it, too (aka gaon).

And if we really want to get into MY personal meta about it (it is so above but this is even deeper), I don’t see yohan as someone who is that sexual to begin with—as in, it is not a consistent desire. I think it takes the right person for him to want it, and I am of the belief that either he’s never been with anyone; he’s been celibate since the fire (because lets add some religious trauma in there as well) or he’s used sex, when needed, as a way to get info he needs to have the upper hand without any real emotional connection—it’s a means to an end.

But vary rarely do we have a character that isn’t associated with sex, or even comes across as devoid of it. I think it’s incredibly important to consider as a hc for yohan that aspect as not a huge part of his life—simply because it’s rampant in literally everything we consume (its casualty and hookup culture alienate so many people), and for once, it’s nice to have character representation and all they encompass focus on an individual without sex involved in some capacity.

It’s why I would really love to write about gaon being yohan’s first, although I highly doubt the idea appeals to anyone except me tbh. i know that others have very different takes than i do and seems highly unrealistic, so i think that's why ive put it off for so long.

But even with the hc of mine, that doesn’t stop me from coming up with smut hcs to enjoy. I think fanfiction is the perfect place to disregard backstory and delve right into the content you want. Instead of a story leading up to yohan trusting goan enough to bottom, you can literally start from the middle where they’ve been through that angst and now it’s the fun stuff. Or write it without even having that backstory involved.

I think there are so many ways to answer this question, but tl;dr, the answer, in whatever way you believe, is yes. Bc quit frankly, the idea of yohan being a pillow princess actually amuses me, and we all know how easy it is for gaon to render yohan speechless. Gaon absolutely gets him to shut the fuck up in bed, lmao.

[kaypeace21]

Name analysis of the Creel family

Virginia creel ( victor creed's wife)

The name Virgina is derived from the Roman myth of a father k*lling his daughter (Virginia) . And is mostly likely foreshadowing of what Mr Creel will do to Virginia and their daughter.

Victor creel

Is probably based off the xmen comic book character victor creed, who k*lled some of his family members. He also had the tradition of ab*sing family members on their bdays. I predicted possessed-Creel will parallel Lonnie. Lonnie made Jonathan cry on his bday & i predict he will visit Will on his bday (based on foreshadowing)- post here. It would make sense , especially given the fact St references the xmen every season. And so they may have used this xmen ref/name to establish a loose connection between possessed- Creel and Lonnie.

Alice creel (the daughter)

Her name is a tip off that the Creels are constructs of Will's psyche, brought to life-similar to the fantastical world/inhabitants of Alice & wonderland. Which was also referenced in s1.She even is blond similar to the titular Alice. Alice (in s4) is the one to discovers the “de*d “ rabbit. In the original story, Alice follows the white-rabbit , and this causes her to fall down the ‘rabbit hole’ which leads to wonderland. But our Alice finding the “dead “ rabbit indicates the DARK-wonderland they’re about to fall into (as the perfect image of the family starts to unravel) .  A “rabbit hole” is also defined as “ bizarre, confusing, or nonsensical situation or environment, typically one from which it is difficult to extricate oneself.” ESSENTIALLY WHAT THE CREEL’S WILL EXPERIENCE.

Hopper also  says his depression is like a “black hole” . And Will’s dark thoughts about his past could be the metaphorical “black/rabbit hole” that destroys the Creels.

We also have other rabbit refs.When El is running away from the "bad men" the song "white rabbit" (describing Alice and wonderland )plays. Later we see in Terry's room for El : the same white rabbit, from the story. And Billy (William) Hargrove paralleled/created by Will also has a connection to the rabbit. As the name Hargrove means “grove filled with rabbits”. And Max in s3 also has a rabbit figurine- similar to Terry’s. And Hopper- sounds a lot like “thumper”(the rabbit) which Jonathan references in relation to his father making him k*ll a rabbit. Even “hop” is a word we associate with bunnies. And in s3 Hopper makes an analogy to “rabbits”. So all these characters are associated with rabbits: the hunting story/alice and wonderland. Because they're similarly... constructs of Will's mind: that were brought to life. Similar to how Alice (subconsciously) created wonderland and it's inhabitants via her imagination. 

Creel

Is a type of basket used to TRAP sea life such as fish-to later consume and k*ll . A hint something sinister will happen to the Creels. Especially because in the show - water is a sinister element. The watery void, the tub, the isolation chamber where El first sees the demogorgan, Will's fake body in the quarry, Barb being attacked in a pool,and Heather being att*ked in the shower,etc . We also see while eating dinner - Alice has a dress with umbrellas on it . Indicating it’s probably raining outside (and something awful is about to happen). Again it was raining , when the flayed (Heather) knocked out her 2 family members at dinner. And we then see Alice (in the same umbrella dress) on the floor with her brother- as their most likely Flayed-father is looming over them. I’ve seen a lot of people mention the dinner-flayed parallels-such as @small-town-byers (but I don’t believe anyone has mentioned the correlation to Umbrellas/rain).

Son's name is unknown? (Speculation)

I honestly do wonder about this. He parallels Will (both are artists and wear flannel). And his sibling (like jonathan) sees a de*d rabbit. Is there a reason we don't know his name? Unlike everyone else else?

So far we already had Billy whose real name is William (parallel Will) . So will this boy’s name also be a nickname for William?When El is looking into Billy's memories (relating to his ab*sive father) the song playing is even called "William".

Will this boy's name be avoided - and he'll only called William (by his possessed father). once Will realizes that his father is - the real monster ?

Will he simply have another nickname for William not already used in the show (Bill and Billy have been used), so maybe : Liam?

Or perhaps Gill (it’s also a nickname for William) . And, it also correlates to  fish  (like a fish gill) . Similar to  the creel family  being a "trap" for k*lling and consuming fish.

Since the demogorgan (which in d&d is a demon called the "deep father") who is described multiple times in s1 as "eating" when k*lling. And the fact, in s1 we see the demogorgan eating his own eggs (aka: his own young/kids). The boy’s name, being a nickname for William and food/fish, and his surname being a fish trap (for fish heading to the sla*ghter)... would be very clever. Honestly, if the Creels were eating fish at this dinner too-before everything goes wrong (I’d lose it , over the symbolism).

It'd also be creepy, if Mr Creel normally calls him "Gill" (rhymes with Will) but calls him "William" when possessed/angry. And maybe they could make that a parallel between possessed-Creel and Lonnie. So if Lonnie is calm he calls him "Will “ but when he starts to get angry/or have sinister intentions: Lonnie calls him "William". It would give the context of playing the song "William" during the Billy's flashbacks of his father - a different context. Also would give Max saying "max , never Maxine" + Will in s3 calling Mike "Michael", a sort of dark foreshadowing...

But who knows his name could be a different reference entirely. XD

[sazandorable]

About moderating and banning content on AO3!

Okay so! I haven’t had the spoons to do this for a while but I cracked and ranted about it on twitter which is... not... conducive to long rants, so!

This is a h u g e discussion part of the l o n g history that led to the creation of AO3, which older, more informed, and more articulate people have talked about at length and can be found around if you look (I reblog some of it in my AO3 and fandom history tags for the curious). So I won’t go into that here, nor into the practical reasons why it’s not even possible to put that system in place anyway.

Arbitrarily, or the purpose of this post, because it’s the biggest topic I’ve seen brought up lately, I’ll be talking about fic depicting underage characters in se*ual situations, but honestly I could hold the exact same conversation on literally any controversial content.

This is about why you, specifically, if you are a content creator and especially if you are marginalised and especially if you are queer and especially especially if you are sensitive to fiction depicting certain things... do not, actually, want a banning system on AO3.

What? Of course we do. There’s a lot of p*do shit on AO3 and p*do shit is gross. No one should condone that, wtf? It would be easy to do — just periodically delete the entire Underage tag!

What will happen if that is done is that people will re-upload and continue to write it, they’ll just stop tagging and you will run into it with zero warning nor ability to filter it out. Again, this is not a theoretical — we know this is what happens. When I was a teen, adult content (all adult content) was not allowed on FF.NET; it was everywhere regardless, and without tags. The exact same thing happened on tumblr when adult content was banned as well. It’s not a matter of “staff not handling it well” — it just doesn’t work.

To keep safe the people who need to be able to exclude that tag, that tag needs to exist and be used.

Well, shucks. A reporting system then?

A reporting system would operate in one of two ways:

-an algorithm, which would delete a lot of stuff we wouldn’t want it to delete.

-humans, which is... the bigger problem.

An algorithm sounds great. We do want it to delete everything.

Okay. What about the daddy k*nk fics between consenting adult characters? What about the fics featuring characters that are children in the canon but are adults in the fic? What about the fics about teenagers exploring their se*uality together, written by adults about the experiences they remember having or wish they could have had? What about the thousands of SasuNaru and Drarry and other shounen and YA fics that will get written, by teens or by people who remember being teens? What about the se*ually explicit fic written by teens who are se*ually active in real life? What about the fics about CSA as trauma, about healing from it? What about the fics written by survivors of CSA to cope about their trauma? What about the fics that clearly show that it’s evil and traumatic? What about the super dark, harrowing, but beautiful and artistic that I’m glad I read even though it fucked me up for days? What about the ones that were really shitty but also horribly hot?

Well, some of these are still not okay, but maybe some might be. It depends on how it’s written. We’ll have humans moderating content and deciding, then.

Okay.

The thing is, I don’t know which of the things I just listed were okay for you to be depicted in fiction and which were too much. Odds are I don’t agree with you. Odds are if I asked 10 people randomly picked off the street, not everyone would agree.

Odds are, even if AO3 arbitrarily decided on which of those are allowed and which are not, you would not agree with their choice, and you would still be unhappy with the decision. (Or you would be happy, but your friends wouldn’t.)

Odds are, different AO3 content moderators might not agree on whether a given fic qualifies or not — is it artistic enough? Does it show enough that these actions are evil and wrong? Can the author prove they’re a teenager? Can the author prove they are a CSA victim? Can the author prove that this is to help them cope with their trauma? The author seem to be functioning alright, they mustn’t really be traumatised!

You know what I mean! There’s absolute, objectively gross shit out there that is not artistic and should not be published.

I agree that there’s vile stuff out there that makes me sick and that I think is very clearly just ped*philic trash. But there is no way to, 1) stop those from getting published anyway, 2) take those down and preserve the safety of everything else.

If we start forbidding some things, there’s two ways to go about it.

One single, clear, arbitrary rule — for instance, absolutely no adult content featuring characters under 18 (leaving aside the fact that this would not even work for the reason cited above). So we lose all the stuff from teenagers, all the coming of age stories about adolescence, all the stuff from CSA survivors; people who need to write it can’t publish it anymore, and people who need to read it can’t anymore either (and as a cool bonus, they’re told it’s wrong and made to feel bad about it). Depending on whether the rules applies to characters that are under 18 in the canon, we lose entire fandoms.

Or, subjective moderation by humans, according to what they estimate to be gross.

Let’s assume all moderators can agree on what’s gross or not.

If there is a system in place to ban some underage works because “gross shit”, then that means other gross stuff can be taken down on account of being gross and harmful.

Yeah! Gross stuff should be taken down! Come on, surely everyone agrees on what’s gross and harmful.

Ah.

But the problem is.

Here is a list of things I have seen — with my eyes seen — called harmful to be depicted in fiction:

Murder

Non-con

Inc*st

Cannibalism

Torture

Self-harm

Mental illness

Drugs

Racism

K*nk

Non-negotiated k*nk, but healthy k*nk is ok

Spanking k*nk

BDSM where the woman is a bottom, but woman top is ok

Healthy depictions of BDSM

Unhealthy depictions of BDSM

Queer people doing bad things

Abusive relationships

Rival/Enemies to lovers

Redemption stories

A happy relationship between a 17 yo and an 18 yo

A happy relationship between a 20 yo and a 60 yo

A happy relationship between a boss and their employee, or a college teacher and a student

A happy relationship between a 14 yo boy and an older teenage boy, because that’s reminiscent of older men preying on younger gay boys IRL

Se*ual content featuring a character whose age is unclear in canon and some people headcanon them as being underage, some as being a young adult

Loving, consensual fluff between characters that are evil villains, because it romanticises them and their actions

Dark content shipping female characters

Fluffy content shipping female characters, because it’s misogynistic to act like lesbians are only soft all the time

Consensual s*x featuring a canonically asexual character, because it implies that all aces can and should still have se*

Fics about the same canonically asexual character hating s*x, because that erases the experience of s*x-positive aces

Shipping a character who is perceived by some fans as queer-coded with a character of a different s*x

The tendency to ship a black character with white characters

Fluffy drunk s*x, because that’s not actually consensual

Sleep s*x, because that’s not actually consensual

Trans characters not experiencing dysphoria, because that idealises the trans experience

Consensual s*x between adults that are not married

LGBT+ content, because kids shouldn’t see that.

I guarantee you: you, I, and 10 random people plucked from the street will not agree on what, in that list, is and isn’t okay to publish and consume fiction of.

So why should your taste be the one followed? Why should it be the taste of mods you don’t know? Why should anyone get to dictate? What if the mods think your OTP is gross and your NOTP is fine?

This is the slippery slope argument.

Yes, it is the slippery slope argument. Because we know it happens. Because we’ve been there, because I’ve seen it happen myself twice already and I’m not even thirty. Because we know people do complain loudly about all of these things.

And because the second there is a banning system in place, assholes will use the system to abuse it and get stuff they just don’t like taken down using the “it is gross” argument, and one day you’ll wake up and the beautiful fic that helped you come to terms with your abuse/trauma/identity/orientation/k*nk for feet will be taken down and wonderful vulnerable creative people will have been harassed out of fandom because they argued with 1 person who didn’t like their foot k*nk fic that happened to also feature, for instance, a CSA trauma backstory.

Again: not exaggerating. Not theoretical. It happens, we know it happens, AO3 was created literally because it happens.

I still fucking hate that stuff.

That is completely fine and normal. No one likes everything. Me too! Most of the dark stuff is niche and the creators know only few people will like it the same way they do.

(For the record, I get grossed out and triggered by fics about an asexual character who does not like s*x having s*x with their partner to make them happy. Deep in my gut everything screams that that’s fucked up, terrifying and harmful, how can people write that. But I recognise that there are people who love and need that, and I leave those people and their content alone.

OTOH, I read a lot of otherwise dark shit and I enjoy it in the same way I enjoyed, say, Hannibal, in the same way some people enjoy true crime documentaries, horror movies or r*pe fantasy k*nk. It helps me explore stuff that I like to see in fiction, in a safe, controlled way. I’m also asexual, 90% s*x-repulsed IRL, and, obviously, I would never abuse a child. For that matter, I wouldn’t kill and eat people, either, nor would I do 90% of the tamer k*nky stuff I read.

Of course, Hannibal was fucked up and lots of people probably think Hannibal was gross and should not have been aired — but as exemplified by the fact that it was created, aired and watched, lots of people thought it was fine, interesting and even fun to watch.)

You can and should curate your experience and protect yourself. The AO3 website now allows you to exclude certain tags, and people have developed tools to help with that such as plugins that save your filters or hide fics that contain certain words.

But no, it isn’t going to, and it shouldn’t, get banned.

[starlightshore]

barring the no mercy route being an influence in this case, how would you describe chara's personality? I cannot describe them well at all despite them being my favorite character. they're too complex lol. all of the meta i can find at this time as them described at both extremes of innocent & evil but i don't think that's accurate

TW: discussions of canon dark topics such as abuse , death and suicide

i love talking about chara, i've talked about them at length before lmao. thank u for giving me a chance to talk about my beloved child.

you can actually read a character exploration i'm doing in a mini-arc for Askfallenroyalty. actually, if you want one condensed post, this comic sums up chara's motives

My interpretation:

chara is an abused kid and suicidal kid*(1) who ran to mount ebott to die.*(2) upon learning that monsters are made of love and humans aren't*(3), chara began to hate humanity. the deltarune prophecy*(4) makes them to be The Angel despite being a human. Feeling undeserving of this title and obligated to fulfill it, Chara wanted to be a good kid more than anything.

But then the buttercup pie incident happened. They've accidentally*(5) poisoned asgore and came up with a plan to ensure the prophecy could be fulfilled and take a hit against humanity. Two birds with one stone -who cares if it's also a personal win too? then obviously the plan goes up in flames and they and asriel are murdered. then asgore wants to kill of all humanity.

your influence*(6) gets Chara onto a path of redemption or a path of destruction, mirroring the deltarune prophecy's two main interpretations.*(7)

in summery: chara is a scared kid trying to fit into a world that demands violence by the past actions of the previous generations. The war massacred monsters and locked them up with a kill-solution -ensuring that further violence would be needed to be free, thus continuing the cycle of violence.

chara is just a kid. they knit, they make macaroni art, they loved their family and had a best friend forever.* (8) but they're also vengeful, they cared so deeply for monsterkind they were ready to die and had no idea they'd be awake as a soul, they were prepared for death. they're complicated, you can't have one side without the other. while i’ve never wanted to murder anyone, i can still relate deeply to chara and see myself in them a lot. the tragedy of them -the fact they never really got a “happy ending” like everyone else just haunts me and it’s why I spend so much time making AFR. I just... love this character so much, i want this kid to be happy. (not that it could ever be easy to get there, happy endings aren’t free.)

And frankly, seeing this hurt kid get demonized just rubs me the wrong way, and it feels completely against the morals Undertale tries to tell with it’s story. I see it as a cautionary tale against violence and dehumanizing others for the sake of hate and violence. how kids can be influenced by the violence -or kindness around them. you don’t need to forgive the ones who hurt you, but killing them is not always the solution -though sometimes necessary as framed in the Undyne the Undying fight.

People get both Undertale’s themes and chara wrong the most, and for the game that’s meant the world to me it bothers me more than it should lol. It’s a Good Story, and I don’t mean to frame my interpretation of the character or themes as 100% canon and I know Mr.Fox’s brain to confirm it kinda deal, but with all the time I’ve spent analyzing and thinking it over I do think it’s not off in the general direction of it lol. And besides the author’s intent isn’t really the end-all-to-be-all. It’s what you get out of the story and the themes that matter and stick with you. No one can take that away from you.

Sources and evidence:

"* If you're cuter, monsters won't hit you as hard." -faded ribbion flavor text * "The ends of the tools have been filed down to make them safer." -gardening tools in New Home (and iirc Toriel's home as well, too lazy to double check rn) * Where are the knives. -no mercy chara (this and paired with the previous imply there are no sharp objects in reach of chara's home because chara can't be trusted with sharp objects out of self harm. This doesn't necessarily mean abuse but paired with them hating humanity so deeply, being suicidal and a child it paints a picture of abuse.

"* I know why (chara) climbed the mountain.* It wasn't for a very happy reason." -asriel post pacifist epilogue dialogue

"* Love, hope, compassion... * This is what people say monster SOULs are made of. * But the absolute nature of "SOUL" is unknown. * After all, humans have proven their SOULs don't need these things to exist." -Library book on monster souls)

* Legend has it, an 'angel' who has seen the surface will descend from above and bring us freedom. - gerson

"* It takes at least a human soul... * And a monster soul. * ...* If you want to go home... * You'll have to take his soul. * You'll have to kill ASGORE." -Alphys. Because boss monster souls are the exception and can persist after death for a short period of time, Chara could of killed any of the family members to escape the underground. this implies escaping wasn't the goal -it was to die (considering they already attempted suicide to fall underground the first time, this is explicitly suicide.) the plaque doesn't mention or speak like monster/human fusion's consumed soul would be aware. chara had no way of knowing they'd be awake. also the whole thing with the pie is a prank. cups of butter. -> buttercups. putting flowers in a pie is a joke to do, we see Chara is similar to Toriel (they mimic her speech in the no mercy monologue, they say “greetings” as she does like how Asriel says “howdy” like Flowey does. Chara makes puns and jokes in the flavor text all the time.

https://imgur.com/a/zP18P -dog food bag at different LV. "When the protagonist first encounters Mad Dummy, they are given the option to beat it up. Choosing to beat it up prompts one of three responses depending on the protagonist's LOVE." (source: undertale wiki)

If the protagonist’s LV is 1, the response becomes "(You tap the dummy with your fist.) (You feel bad.)"

If the protagonist's LV is between 2 and 4, the response becomes "(You hit the dummy lightly.) (You don't feel like you learned anything.)"

If the protagonist’s LV is between 5 and 7, the response becomes "(You sock the dummy.) (Who cares?)"

If the protagonist’s LV is 8 or higher, the response becomes "(You punch the dummy at full force.) (Feels good.)"" This implies Chara (who is the narrator) will feel different about the dog food -which references the classic phrase of "glass half empty/full" showing your out look in life. Then hitting the dummy show's Frisk's out look on violence depending on LV. Note that by the end of it, it's no longer "you feel..." but "feels good" This is Chara.

      7. “* Lately, the people have been  taking a bleaker outlook...* Callin' that winged circle the  'Angel of Death.' “ -gerson “* Only the fearless may proceed. * Brave ones, foolish ones. * Both walk not the middle road. “ -the first plaque in the first puzzle room with Toriel. The idea is to walk on both the left and right sides -you can’t go half way in the middle. this mirrors the “true” endings are only accomplished if you stick to no mercy or pacifist only.

     8. literally their home in New Home is a treasure trove of pre-game chara characterization.