Soo about the translation for Se Telefonando you mentioned in your author's note... is it too much to ask? 👀 (and am I setting myself up for more heartbreak by sending you this?)
kdskdhk ok I'll be honest. I was waiting for someone to ask because I've actually written a full-blown literary analysis for Se Telefonando and I have to share it here. My friend, I hope you don't mind if I use your ask to share my essay :')
Let's do this: I'll write my own translation down here, and I'll add my many, many notes (both on the translation itself, and on how it relates to the fic) under a cut. You can decide for yourself if it's heartbreaking or not :)
Ready?
Here's my translation:
The wonder of the night, opened wide over the sea,
Caught us unawares while we were still strangers, you and I
Then, in the dark, your hands suddenly on mine:
It’s grown too quickly, this, our own little love
If I could tell you goodbye just by calling, I’d call you
If I was certain you wouldn’t suffer seeing me again, I’d see you again
If I could tell you to stop while looking you in the eyes, I’d look at you
But I can’t explain to you that our newborn love is already over (x2)
Notes under the cut:
Alright, just a bit of context first. Se Telefonando was written in 1966 by De Chiara and Costanzo, two notable Italian pop music and TV personalities, and arranged by the world-famous composer Ennio Morricone. It was written specifically to be sung by Mina, a legend of Italian pop music with a unique voice (who, in fact, gives a wonderful interpretation of the song!). So: big names for the lyrics, big name for the melody, big name for the singer. And it shows!
Let's take it from the top.
Lo stupore della notte spalancata sul mar
The word stupore evokes in Italian the same feeling that wonder evokes in English: something that can be child-like, a special kind of surprise that leaves you speechless. This feeling is caused by the coming of the night, spalancata [= opened wide] over the sea: the word spalancata is used when doors are opened completely and (often) suddenly. So, all in all: the night opens without warning, like a portal to another world, over the sea, and surprises the two lovers (we'll meet them in the next verse, don't worry). Quite the start, huh?
Ci sorprese che eravamo sconosciuti, io e te
The verb ci sorprese (whose subject is the aforementioned night) could be literally translated as surprised us; I preferred a caught us unawares to convey, once again, the feeling of unexpectedness and wonder that overcomes the pair. The romance the singer shares with her lover happened quickly and unexpectedly; so much so that they were still sconosciuti, strangers, when they fell in love. I love the juxtaposition in the second half of the verse, here: the singer says they were surprised by their feelings when they were still strangers, but then immediately adds io e te, that is you and I, which communicates a strong familiarity to me -- yes, we were strangers, but we were also you and I. So familiar and intimate I don't even have to use any other words: we're the only people in our whole world.
A short note on the fic: the idea of the Girls being surprised by their bond is actually canon (Dorothy says it out loud in the finale: the Girls' friendship is a gift she never expected at that point in her life). I liked the parallel with this verse -- the Girls learned to know each other (ie became you and I rather than strangers) through the lens of their quick and deep friendship, and I've always loved that. (In the particular universe of the fic they didn't properly analyze what their actual feelings were, but we'll get to that in a moment.)
Poi, nel buio, le tue mani d'improvviso sulle mie
I love the intimacy in this verse. The theme of surprise is still there (d'improvviso = suddenly), but the real gem is the figure of the lover's hands on the singer's to indicate physical intimacy. Using the hands as a shortcut to suggest a physical relation (as part of their love) makes it delicate and romantic, while still clearly conveying the intimacy of the act. It doesn't even say they hold hands, or intertwine fingers: a very simple your hands on mine is all that's necessary.
Note also that this happens nel buio [= in the dark]: here's the full uncovering of the metaphor that carried us through the first two verses, ie the night (or, more in general, the darkness) as a placeholder for the feelings that caught the pair by surprise.
È cresciuto troppo in fretta questo nostro amor
There's the first crack in the picture. We've lived in dream land until here: the coming of the night, the softness, the intimacy, the sweet (almost lullaby-like) music... but here comes the reckoning: the love between our two characters è cresciuto troppo in fretta, has grown too quickly. Before we move on to examine the consequences of this hurry in the chorus, there's one small moment of tenderness left: questo nostro amore, literally this, our love. The literal translation doesn't convey just how soft and intimate the phrasing sounds in Italian: it's a love that's specifically ours, to be cherished, to be protected, to be nurtured (to be grown -- albeit too quickly). Hence the inclusion of own and little in my translation -- it felt like the right way to evoke similar feelings in English.
Se telefonando io potessi dirti addio, ti chiamerei
Se io rivedendoti fossi certa che non soffri, ti rivedrei
Se guardandoti negli occhi sapessi dirti basta, ti guarderei
Ah, the chorus! Finally. The first line here is the title of the fic, and what inspired it in the first place: the idea of someone not being able to call because they can't bear actually saying goodbye to their lover was just too delicious not to explore -- and since the theme was phone calls, it made sense to only tell the story through said phone calls (and it made for a fun challenge, too!).
The repeated if/then structure in this chorus is amazing. The stakes are increased after every line: the first verb, se telefonando, is almost impersonal (it means if just by calling generally, not if by calling you specifically), and yet it's already juxtaposed with potessi dirti addio, ie I could tell you goodbye (and addio is a proper, forever goodbye, not just a see you later!). Then we have rivedendoti [= seeing you again] in the second verse, and guardandoti negli occhi [= looking you in the eyes]; progressively more and more intimate actions. This is the desperate plea of a woman who knows she has to part from her lover (although we don't know why; the reasons are never explained) and begs him to see on his own that their relationship is over, because she doesn't have the strength to tell him personally. She longs to see him (as testified by the growing intimacy in the actions she describes) but at the same time she can't even call him on the phone, because she knows she'll capitulate if she does; she knows she has to tell him, but she also knows she's not able to bear it.
Note that this is also underlined by the music: the theme becomes much more dramatic than it was during the first stanza, the three verses are sung in crescendo (Mina was a powerhouse of a singer!), and the melody is transposed higher and higher at each verse. One really gets the sense of urgency and helplessness in the singer's plea: she needs to say all these things, she must say goodbye to her lover and their encompassing, surprising love, but she can't.
You can see why I was so inspired to use this for the Girls, can't you? :)
Ma non so spiegarti che il nostro amore appena nato è già finito
And finally -- the last line, and the moment of peak tension. The chorus has upped the ante with every line, bringing us closer and closer to the precipice, and now we're on the cusp: the music resolves, and we fall down. The song until this point was still suspended, in a way; we could feel the desperation in the singer's voice, we knew what was hiding behind all those hypotheticals, but it's only now that the truth is out in the open: I can't explain to you that our newborn love is already over. Game, set, match.
First of all: non so spiegarti literally means I don't know how to explain to you -- but that sounds almost whiny in English (to me, at least). What the lyrics are trying to convey here is a feeling of helplessness: the singer has no words to explain to her lover that their story is over (hence why she can't even call him on the phone).
And then the kicker: our newborn love is already over. The image of a newborn love fits the motif of child-like wonder and love growing we already encountered in the stanza: it's a sort of juxtaposition between the innocence of feeling (love, in this specific case, that makes one feel open and light again) and the cruelty of real life (that forces the lovers apart). This same juxtaposition is found in the music as well: I've already mentioned that the melody is almost lullaby-like in the stanza, it becomes much more dramatic in the chorus, and the song ends with a trailing tail of la-la-la that would not be too out of place in a children's playground (which, to me, only serves to further drive home the divide).
The idea of a newborn love is not exactly what I was going for in the fic, but it's still closely aligned: I figure in this universe the Girls were just about to have their oh moment when Dorothy got her chance to run away and left them all heartbroken. Sophia even comments on it in her voicemail message: she thought they were days away from it. You know that common sapphic experience of being very, very close to one of your friends, and then she starts dating someone else, and you feel heartbroken even though you two were never really in a relationship (and maybe you never even realize you had feelings for her until a decade later)? That's the vibe I was going for: being almost there but never saying anything explicit, so that when it all crumbles down, it falls spectacularly. Not a newborn love, but an almost-born love, in a way. An almost-born love that is over before it had a chance to begin.
And that's it, I think! My lit teacher would be proud of me. It's been a while since I had the chance to analyze anything in *this* much depth and I had a wonderful time. Hope you enjoyed reading this far -- and I'm always open to questions, if you have any!
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