#but i've gotten so many notifs today :))

[racew1nn3rs]

─ 𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘦 𝘪𝘪𝘪. (𝘯𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘮𝘶𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳) ⛵️

⤷ summary: miami and monaco. just lando being horribly down bad and y/n being at her wits end. poor oscar just can't escape the train wreck that is two losers with feelings and zero (0) emotional competency .

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liked by landonorris, ynusername, and 45,790 others

tagged oscarpiastri and landonorris

mclaren sorry to report that the only good thing about miami was the weather! (and the celebrities)

17,492 comments

user1 it's okay admin, you can say the car was shit

mclaren yeah the car was shit

user2 mclaren team is cursed i fear

mclaren alr where my witch baddies at? please unhex us pls pls pls

user3 uhm!!!????

mclaren desperate times desperate measures and all that jazz

user4 normal people: oh no the car is bad. yn: we're cursed for generations to come ☹️

landonorris i didn't get to meet shakira, what's the point of going on living

mclaren there is none! kys

landonorris oh wow

user5 nahhhh she gettin fired 💀

user6 not a single photo with lando's face 😭

user7 boohoo ☺️ OSCAR FANS, THEY BROKE BUT WE UP ‼️‼️‼️

user6 ok enough

landonorris post me challenge (difficult)

mclaren uh no (: go talk to hr bro we do not careeeeeee

user8 this beef is crazy, yall havent made up yet

user9 DOES ANYONE EVEN KNOW WHY THEYRE BEEFING 😭

oscarpiastri yeah

mclaren hey oscar! great race

oscarpiastri don't ever lie to my face like that again

maxfewtrell gonna build the car myself at this point

user10 i see a podium in our future everyone say thank you max

user11 y/n livestream when 😔

ynusername (;

user11 WHAT DOES THIS MEAN

user12 lando and admin flirting again, who could've guessed

user13 ... she told him to kill himself

user14 the enemies to lovers is enemying 🤩

user13 yeah, it's giving enemies to lovers but no lovers only murder

mclaren truth.

user12 ARIANA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HWRE

user15 mclaren, fire everyone and hire y/n as the engineer/ strategist/ driver/ pit crew/ pr

mclaren we winning 🥱

oscarpiastri you'd be the only one finishing cause everyone else would die ☝🏻

mclaren shut the fuck up oscar 🙄

user16 flying cars they said 😔

mclaren how the mighty have fallen

user17 WE THE BEST TEAM ON THE GRIDDDD YUHHH

mclaren i'm gonna hold your hand while i say this

user18 it's been 20 years since i've seen my husband 😞 (admin won't post pictures of lando anymore)

mclaren your husband is ugly as fuck

landonorris what the fuck!

mclaren get off your phone loser

user19 full oscar picture when (i'mbeg ging you please i needg it nowe)

mclaren BAD DOG DOWN OMFG

lilyzneimer i would argue you were the best part of miami

mclaren YOU ARE SO FINE YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH BEAUTIFUL GIRL 🤭

oscarpiastri GET AWAY FROM HER YOU FREAK 🤺

user20 y/n being unprofessional on the team page, who's shocked

mclaren and the world kept spinning

user21 we all know who was really shit here (looking at you lando)

mclaren it's not funny when you do it.

landonorris when she defends you 🥴

mclaren i'm telling a trusted adult danielricciardo

danielricciardo what the fuck makes you think i can be trusted

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would you like to join? yes or no

now loading...

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The image flickered onto the screen as the broadcast began. Lando, clothed comfortably in sweats, a cap, and his streaming headphones, looked briefly off camera to where his guests sat waiting to be introduced.

He glanced up at Streamlabs and was shocked to see he had upwards of 30,000 viewers. He had only just started the stream and many people had likely not even gotten the Twitch notification yet. He shook off his shock and plastered on his usual smirk.

Everything is fine. I am totally and completely fine.

"Welcome, welcome. How are you all doing today? There's a lot of people here already. What's the special occasion guys?" He joked, being met with a scoff from the girl to his left.

Everything is not fine at all.

Lando almost never felt nervous when he would stream. After all, he was just playing game with his friends, the chat comments streaming through at a speed he could barely read. Even then, being in Formula One for so long meant he was used to being watched, his every little move being observed nearly constantly since his debut in 2019.

And yet all it took was her presence and suddenly he was nervous. His palms were sweaty, his heart was beating at a mile a minute- honestly you would think he were racing. How could he be expected to be funny and charming when she was here. She never seemed to struggle much in the department. It was almost entirely natural for her. Being perfect was like breathing air to Y/n he suspected.

As he watched the chat messages stream past even quicker on his monitor, he finally caught Oscar's gaze out of the corner of his eye. The younger man quirked a brow at him. What's your problem? His teammate seemed to say. He ignored him. Stupid Oscar and his stupid opinions and his stupid, uncomplicated love life. Lando envied the Australian most days, but now he just wanted to punch him straight in the jaw.

"Alright, it seems like most people are here already, so I'll just get started. I'm sure you're all wondering who my special guests are. The suspense must be killing you surely," He teased his audience. He ignored the completely accurate guesses in his chat.

Was he so predictable that it could be assumed it was either his teammate, Y/n, or Max were his special guests? Or was this a more unfortunate warning sign that he was just plain old boring.

"Seems like most people in chat were smart enough to figure it out! Please give a warm welcome to my guests! The lovely, stunning, awe-inspiring Y/n!" He cheered as the girl groaned, rolling her chair forward so she was behind him and within the frame of the camera.

"Oh and also Oscar's here," Lando added boredly, voice almost entirely monotone. Oscar scoffed loudly and he shot into frame kicking Lando's chair roughly, almost knocking him over and startling a laugh out of the girl behind them.

"Your an asshole mate," Oscar scoffed. Lando didn't hear him. The melodic laughing in his ear from Y/n was quite frankly the only sound his brain could process.

Who knew a laugh could sound so beautiful.

Who knew I could be so god damn embarrassing, Lando thought miserably.

"Guys do you see what I have to put up with!? How I get any shit done around here is a wonder," Y/n scoffed, "Anyways, welcome everybody, this is my stream now." Lando squawked indignantly.

"Excuse you, your in my home!"

"Yeah, unfortunately," she muttered with an eye roll and Oscar laughed.

"You should be grateful! Although these aren't the circumstances I was hoping to have you here under for the first time," Lando said with a completely unsubtle wink.

Y/n grimaced and Oscar doubled over with the force of his laughter.

"Viewers I am so sorry, please leave now, I have no way to muzzle him and apparently I can't sensor him," Y/n scowled.

"I fear he might enjoy that," Oscar muttered with a shake of his head.

Oh you motherfucker, Lando thought. Talk about subtle.

"If it was you, I probably would," Lando said to the girl and she planted her palm into the center of his face and shoved him lightly.

"Oh gross, cooties or STDs or whatever it is you men carry," Y/n shook her hands off and fake gagged.

"EXCUSE ME!" Lando shouted as Oscar nearly fell out of his chair.

"You're excused!"

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Y/n was holding on to her sanity by a thread. Or whatever was smaller than a thread... a hair or something. They had been answering fan questions for nearly 15 minutes already and Lando had decided today would be the day he would do nothing but flirt with her incessantly. He was like a child with a question or dog with a bone; He wouldn't let it the fuck go.

The sound of text-to-speech beginning dragged Y/n out of her thought spiral.

"Lando, what is your favorite video you've ever filmed?" The question asked.

Oh brother, Y/n thought. She looked at Oscar and he only laughed. How helpful.

"Probably the water TikTok challenge," Oscar hummed in agreeance.

"Why?" Y/n asked in confusion. She realized belatedly that asking Lando anything right now was probably a bad idea. She had set herself up this time.

"I don't know, I'm just a personal fan of anything that involves your hands in my hair," He smirked and she rolled her eyes. Her stomach flipped as she looked at his eyes. How could such a stupid, stupid man have such nice eyes (and lips, and teeth, and-).

"Well that's interesting," She smirked back, leaning her body toward him, ignoring the way she was blushing down to her chest. Her ears felt hot. It was hard to focus when she felt like she was burning alive, an unfortunate side effect that seemed to come with the irritating Brit in front of her.

"That was my favorite too," she added and Lando's eyes widened. Oscar looked at her in confusion over Lando's head.

"Really?" Lando asked, suprise clear in his voice. His smirk fell away for only a moment, but it was long enough for Y/n to notice.

Poor little Lando Norris, she thought. A bit too easy to read, this one.

"Yep," she grinned, before letting her face fall. "I'm a big fan of anything that means I can drown you." She responded in a monotone voice. Oscar cackled. The poor guy had hardly been asked any questions. Y/n found she didn't feel too bad anyway. The asshole was enjoying her suffering far too much.

Y/n knew the chat was going wild at their interactions, but she didn't really find herself caring. Maybe this was a bad look from a PR stand point, but then again didn't they always say "any press is good press."

Y/n wondered if the idiots who said that had ever had an inappropriate attraction to their asshole of a coworker, who just so happened to be public figure with fans who were becoming more aware of the tension with every day that interacted.

Probably fucking not.

Y/n watched as Lando's faux upset face cracked into a smile as he began to laugh heartily. She couldn't help but smile. Y/n was finding it hard to hold onto whatever grudge she had before. Maybe Lando Norris and his perfect smile, and his stupid jokes and his charming attitude weren't all that bad. Maybe, just maybe.

But they had absolutely no affect on her. None at all.

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liked by maxfewtrell, oscarpiastri, and 38,924 others

tagged landonorris

ynusername monaco post-gp (help me this guy is stalking me i can't get rid of him help hel

11,209 comments

user22 damn he took out my girl mid-sentence 😔

user23 Y/N POSTED LANDO?? AM I DREAMING?? AM I HAVING A STROKE??? OH GOD AM I DEAD

user24 girl calm the fuck down

user25 DOES THIS MEAN THE BEEF IS OVER

ynusername yes! (he has a gun to my head)

user26 LANY/N SHIPPERS WE RISE ONCE MORE

user27 get it together, they've posted together ONCE

user28 is lany/n in the room with us

user29 "lando and y/n getting along isn't real, it can't hurt you!" OH REALLY

landonorris i had other plans but i cancelled them to be your tour guide, you're welcome

ynusername me when i fucking lie

oscarpiastri do my eyes decieve me

ynusername shut up oscar

landonorris yeah shut up oscar

user30 couples that fight their friend together, stay together

ynusername i can and will block you 😃

user30 oh.

oscarpiastri no it's fine i didn't want to be invited

oscarpiastri i totally hate the ocean, it's not like i surf or anything

oscarpiastri looks boring, would've hated to go on a boat

landonorris other than the fact that i lost my flip flop in the ocean, it was fun i guess

user31 good job lando this came off exactly as nonchalant as you hoped king

ynusername HAHA LOSER YOU LOST YOUR SHOE

oscarpiastri I LOST SOMETHING ONCE 😞

user32 close enough, welcome back brocedes

ynusername literally what is the correlation here

user32 idk leave me alone

user33 um so this is actually insane

user34 i screamed so loud my neighbors called the cops because they thought i was being murdered

user35 can you be normal

user36 this might be the first original experience

user35 no, not original, just embarrassing

user37 i want to be excited about this but it feels so sinister

ynusername good, it should be

maxfewtrell never in my 23 years of living could i have expected this (lando messaged me to tell me what he was doing today)

user38 posting a comment is optional

maxfewtrell i have fomo, can i live

user39 lany/n shippers all around the world cheered

user40 oh you different friend!

user41 onto something ❌ on something ✅

user42 and the crowd is... the crowd is leaving??

user43 my crew lets go

user44 "war is over" we all say in unison

oscarpiastri not likely 💀

user23 HELLO OMFHADFSLJ

danielricciardo oh so you can hang out with him in monaco but not with me

ynusername sorry babygirl 😔 i didn't mean to abandon you

danielricciardo ew never fucking mind

maxverstappen1 i live in monaco too! hope this helps

ynusername i knew that already! hope this helps

maxverstappen1 oh.

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ynusername posted to story!

(caption: he won't leave me alone, this is sick)

17,822 replies

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landonorris posted to story!

(caption: she's trying to convince me it's cold out... girl no it is not)

24,006 replies

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I AM SOOOOO SORRY THIS TOOK 5 MILLION YEARS TO BE UPDATED!! i am hoping to be more consistent moving forward, but my schedule is a bit of a mess with school. hopefully i'll be able to get some requests fulfilled soon as well though!

most importantly, thank you so much for all the love and support on this fic!! the amount of comments, asks, and dms asking about updates was staggering and it makes me so happy that you all like to so much (: receiving such positive feedback for this fic has honestly rejuvenated my love for writing so much, and i can't express how much the support means to me.

please keep leaving comments and dms with your thoughts, i love reading them <3 hope u enjoyed!

-

𝙩𝙖𝙜 𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

@lemon-lav @slutforpopculture @m4rt10ne @urfavsgf @sadsierra2 @96jnie @sltwins @poppyflower-22 @alliumiae @livelovesports @liberty-barnes @the-holy-trinity-l @iliwyss @awritingtree @redpool @elliotts1one @velentine @chaoticmessneutralplease @5sospenguinqueen @charizznorizz @2pagenumb @mxdi0 @cwiphswmwasohmm @tremendousstarlighttragedy @lnspipedrm @itseightbeats @tinycoffeeroom @woozarts @personwhoisther @a-beaverhausen @love-simon @annabellelee @ravisinghs-wife @chezmardybum @greantii @weekendlusting @monserelates @sapphiccloud @halleest @deamus-liv @gigigreens @morenofilm @laneyspaulding19 @lanireadss @dear-fifi @moldyshorts1997 @oliviarodrigostan13 @eugene-emt-roe @ilivbullyingjeongin @im-a-ghost666

[gguk-n]

Chapter 3- The Reveal

Unravelling Max's Mystery (Max Verstappen x Online Friend!Reader)

Series Masterlist

Summary- Y/N gets rejected for the sixth time. Max win's the Monaco grand prix 2023. Y/N decides she needs time for herself.

No hate to anyone, it's for the story

{Reader's POV}

I fell asleep crying, a faint buzzing from my phone was heard from the other room. I woke up after a few hours at 3 am when I found my phone which was burning up. The messages hadn't stop coming. They had gotten quite frantic as I scrolled through my notifications. I decided to reply to Max's messages.

He was still the guy I liked, I couldn't not reply. But I was hurt and in no shape to be talking to him. I don't know what Max said after my message because my phone shut down. I pushed myself to clean myself up and my surrounding. I was a stress cleaner and I'm so grateful to having 2 jobs right now. It meant my mind would be preoccupied. I cleaned my whole house before leaving for school in the morning. My eyes were red and puffy; I was on coffee. I had yet to switch my phone on. I wasn't ready to face Max yet.

Today was the worst day, not only because of last night's revelation but I had the least amount of classes today. None of the kids needed help after class either. That meant I was left to my own devices. When I switched the phone on, I could see missed calls and texts from Max and a couple voice messages; from the night before and today morning I guess. I opened up Google to check his schedule; he was in Monaco, which was also his home currently. I found out a lot about him, you think you know someone but then Google tells you otherwise. His dad was as shitty as he described. His records and feats were astonishing and if I wasn't this angry at him for hiding it from me, I would've been so proud and told him so. His Instagram feed was pretty and polished and he posted so much racing content. I found his streaming account with a team, he was exactly like the Max that called me everyday with occasional appearances from the cats on stream. People spoke so rudely about Max, it angered me to no end. He was a kind man, a liar but a sweet man.

The real kicker was Max's girlfriend's account where I found so many pictures of them together with her daughter, from what I found out. He looked happy, he had a family like he always said he wanted. I couldn't help but smile bitterly, a part of me wished that it was me who was the woman beside him with our kid. Life is cruel in some ways, mine is satire at best. Here, I can't date a man because I'm hung up on a guy I've never met before while said man has a family. I felt tears streaming down my face which I quickly wiped them off. I had enough of pity and sympathy stares since the morning to last a lifetime, I can't deal with any more of them.

I knew I wanted to talk to Max, the only guy who has ever understood me, however, I also knew that if we spoke I wouldn't be listening to him. I was scared I would lose the one true friend I have. Would Max understand where I was coming from? Why did he hide this from me? Did he not trust me enough? I get it, but you are a public figure. I don't know how to feel about all of this. It was the weekend tomorrow. I would be left with my thoughts and I probably shouldn't confront Max before his race on Sunday, right?

I spent the next two days planning how I would talk to Max. How I would ask him why he hid everything from me? I didn't want to fight him; my parents always said I was rude and difficult to work with, that my anger consumed me, that my words were harsh. I wasn't supposed to show such negative emotions they said. I didn't want to lose him; but was I allowed to hold on to him when he never let me have him?

Max called and texted me every day but I was very scared, scared of becoming the monster my parents said I was, sacred of hurting the one I love. There I said it, said Max and love in the same sentence. I had threaded that line so carefully but after all of this, I realised that I've loved him for years and watching him be happy with some else hurt as much as knowing that I never truly knew Max. It was Sunday night, I checked the news and saw that Max won. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to rejoice watching the man I love win at what he was best at or be hurt watching him live a life I knew nothing about.

I texted him at night on Sunday, maybe he would be busy celebrating his win, I didn't know. I didn't know a lot of things. As I waited for the text back, I logged on to my emails that I had forgotten about to find a reply from the publication I had sent my work to; to be met with dismay. Another rejection, I'm not sure how many more rejections I could take. My hands shook, making the laptop fall from my lap onto the bed. I got up and got myself a glass of water.

I laid on my bed for god knows how long before the familiar ring of my phone pulled me out of my trance. I had taken the day off tomorrow. I knew I didn't have the mental or emotional capacity to deal with anything. I answered the call to a worried Max.

Max- Schat, how have you been? Haven't heard a word from you in days. Y/N- I've been busy, school year ending and stuff. Why didn't you sleep yet? Max- You know my sleep schedule is non existent. Y/N- Yeah, I guess I do. Max looked at me confused. Y/N- You know how I do freelance editing Max- You've told me about it Y/N- The latest author I'm working with is a sports author. I was hoping you could help me since you are a walking encycylopedia. Max- sure schat, but what's up with you? You know I'm always there for you Y/N- Yeah it nothing, just stressed. Max- Take off, you deserve it Y/N- The summer break is here soon, I'll be fine. So about that author... Max-Yeah, what sport does she write for? Y/N- Formula One. I don't really like reading lengthy articles and I'm sure one article wouldn't do a sport any justice. I could see the colour leave Max's face. He licked his lips before speaking. Max- You did not go through google yet, right? Y/N- Oh no, what do you take me for? I got excited to learn about something new. Do you know who the reigning champion is? Max was quite, a sort of uncomfortable silence had enveloped us, for the first time in 10 years. Y/N- Some dude named Max Verstappen. You guys share the same first name. He has 2 cats too; named Jimmy and Sassy, who look exactly like your bengals. I mean he even looks like you, with horrible sleep schedule just like you. He even sounds like you. I felt my voice begin to crack while I spoke, the lump in my throat unbearably big, my breathing was uneven. Max- Schatje, I can explain. Y/N- You don't have to Max. I never asked you what you did. You don't have to explain anything. (I smiled with only my lips) Max- I wanted to tell you, it just never came up in conversation. Y/N- I get it, it's difficult to tell your friend who has amounted to nothing that you are the World Driver's Champion, best of the best in Formula One. Max- Y/N, it's nothing like that. You're great, you're kind, you're funny. I laughed bitterly. Y/N- Those are character traits I possess, they don't describe my career goals or achievements. I know I work 2 jobs to stay afloat while you make millions, I know I wish I was an author and not their editor, I know you probably thought I was too stupid to understand your rich and fancy world. Max- No, no, you're so talented. I've read your work and I'm sure the right publication will pick your work up. Y/N- I got rejected for the sixth time today. All of this is fine except that you lied to me about being single while having a girlfriend for years and having the happy family you dreamt off. You didn't have to introduce me to her; not like my boyfriends met you. But it would've been nice if I knew. Max- It just never came up. Y/N- I...we joked about setting you up with someone all the time. Please don't. I get it, we didn't tell each other about work goals or what we did as a job but personal life; I literally told you about every guy I've ever been with. I felt bad telling you thinking you were single. I feel stupid right now. I had tears streaming down my face at this point. Max- I'm sorry,Y/N. I promise I won't hide anything anymore. Please, don't cry. Y/N- My name is Y/N Y/L/N. I majored in literature in Uni and now work as a primary school teacher and freelance editor. I'm trying to get my book published soon. I broke up with my boyfriend 2 months ago. Max- Please don't do this. Y/N- I believe at least one of us should be honest. Max- Let me fix this. Y/N- Don't worry. There's nothing to fix. (I wiped away my tears) Max- Please don't say that. You mean a lot me. Y/N- Me too. That's why, I need time. I'll talk to you when I'm ready. Max- Please, I can't lose you. Y/N- You won't. I'll always be there for you. I just need time. Take care Max I saw tears streaming down Max's face. Max- Bye, take care Y/N. I'll always be here. And then the screen went black.

[Max spent the whole week worrying about Y/N. He couldn't think straight. This was weird, she was never this busy before. It was stressing him out, he couldn't eat or sleep. He never even thought about the fact that maybe his lie had been exposed. When Y/N texted him, he was at a club in Monaco with the other drivers to celebrate his win. He only saw it after he got back home and immediately called her. She looked different, there was this sadness in her eyes. The smile didn't reach her eyes. And then she started talking, his heart was beating very fast. The moment she said Formula One, his whole world came crashing down. The more she spoke the more he felt like he was falling deeper, in a pit of his own making. He wanted to tell her, he wanted to explain himself but no words left his mouth. Then she started talking about his girlfriend. He felt like this was the last time he would get to talk to her, the last time he would hear her voice. This felt like the last time he would have her]

[annab-nana]

Hi Anna!🥺 I have a request for your winter wonderland sleepover🥺

Scenario: told parents about SO and now you have to rope someone into it for the holiday with Eddie🥺🥺

please i love this request sooo much!!

warnings: not proofread

❀ masterlist ❀

why?

that was the only question you could ask yourself as you hung up the phone.

why?

why in the world did i do that?

why did i say that?

you had to talk this out with someone and there was only one person who could help you make sense of this. so, you got in your car and drove to the trailer park.

"hey- woah," eddie started to greet you when he opened the door, but you were on a mission, beelining it to his bedroom. he just shut the door and followed you there. when he passed through the doorway into his room, he saw you lying on your back on his bed with your hands covering your face.

being your best friend, he could normally sense if the issue at hand was a more serious one or a dramatized one. today, he was picking up the vibe that it was the latter, so he crawled into bed beside you and copied your actions.

"why are we laying here like this?" he asked out loud, his voice muffled by his own hands.

when you responded, he couldn't make out many of the words you'd said. "can you repeat that? i only got because, christmas, and parents."

you lifted your palms up off your mouth but kept your eyes hidden by your fingers. "because i'm an idiot. i didn't want my family nagging me again about not having a boyfriend yet, so i told them there is someone when there isn't so now, i have to find someone in the next two weeks or show up at my parents' house with no one and get interrogated even more so than i would've if i had just kept my mouth shut."

once done with your explanation, you let your palms drop back down over your mouth and groaned into them. your body rolled over onto your stomach and closer to eddie. he moved onto his side and brought his hand to your back.

"hey," he started softly while rubbing between your shoulder blades in a comforting manner. "i'm sure it'll work itself out. how many times have you gotten yourself into something and figured a way out? too many to count, so i don't doubt you'll do it again."

suddenly, you lifted your head out of your hands and looked at him, a mischievous glint in your eye.

"that's your not-very-good-idea face," eddie commented. "i'm a little worried."

"i don't know what you're talking about. i only come up with great ideas and i've got another right now. but, it'll take some convincing."

"just spit it out already."

"you love me, don't you, eddie?"

"okay, now you're scaring me."

"well, i was thinking you could step in and be my fake boyfriend for the holidays, just to get my family off my back, you know. you don't have to kiss me or anything. at most, you'll have to hold my hand or kiss my forehead or be close to me. but, it's perfect because you know me so well already. we'll just have to come up with a backstory. eddie, i'll do whatever to make it up to you whether that be do your laundry, help with d and d stuff, do your homework, whatever, but pleas-"

eddie cut you off. "i'll do it."

you weren't expecting it to be that easy. "really?"

"yeah, why not? wayne's working on christmas so i'm free anyway and based on the stories you tell, i've always wanted to meet your uncle charlie. i get something to do on christmas and get to hang with my best friend. i would've said yes before the whole speech, but now that i know i can get some stuff out of you, i might cash in some of those favors later."

you jumped to wrap your arms around him. "oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, eddie! you don't know how much a relief this is."

"yeah," eddie spoke, trying to ignore the way his heart was racing. that was the one thing he forgot about before agreeing to this whole thing. it was going to be hard to keep his crush on you hidden, but for you, he would risk it all. "no problem."

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[andreafmn]

Collision | Chapter 18

Word Count: 3.2K Story Description: (Y/N) Uley is back home after being away for four years. Her life is at its first standstill and she is taking this time to find out who she is without school. But she never thought that coming back to the reservation would turn her whole life around. In the midst of secrets and mystery, a man crashes into (Y/N)’s and her life will never be the same. Chapter: 18/? Warnings: steamy scenes and foul language A/N: One day I'll manage both Twilight fics in a day, but today is not the day 😬😬 but hey, this is my longest story as of now, so hopefully if my creativity sparks I can consistently publish chapters like this story My content will always be free, but if you’re feeling particularly generous, you can leave a tip on any of my posts  or buy me a coffee to support me and my love of writing Follow 😊 -> TikTok • Instagram • BusinessIf you’d like to be tagged in this or any other story: click hereMake sure you have my notifications on so you know every time I post! Please check if you're tagged in the story, I've reached the limit of tags on Twilight again it seems. 😅

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“Paul,” (Y/N)’s voice broke him out of his trance. She had started to slip on one of Paul’s many forgotten T-shirts, stretching her limbs after their latest encounter.  “You’re staring.”

“Oh, sorry,” he chuckled softly. “I didn’t mean to.”

“It’s fine,” she smiled. “I sometimes forget they’re there.”

It had been five months since she had been hurt, four months since they had left, three since she had decided to dig herself out of the hole she had fallen into and put her life back on track. And she couldn’t look back –at least not without feeling her heart wrench inside her chest.

(Y/N) had made the decision to move forward in her life, to allow herself to release her past and unbind herself from the Cullens. She had allowed herself to be her first priority –even if meant that she had to release some people she thought the world of. But she had to push forward. Staying stuck in the mud was the last thing she wanted.

Instead, she had spent the past two months and a half investing her time between med school, her entanglement with Paul, the people at the rez, and her work at the hospital. And it had been just the shift (Y/N) had needed.

“I can’t believe I was the one that did this,” Paul whispered as he joined her side. His fingers traced the rough skin of her scars, an electric shiver running through his veins. A few months before, the three ragged lines that ran down her arm had not been there. And in a split second, he’d changed her for life. “I’m so sorry, (Y/N). I wish I could take that night back.”

“I don’t blame you, Paul,” she breathed. Shudders ran through her body as he kissed her shoulder, his warmth still something she had yet gotten used to. “I should have listened to my brother and step away.”

“But if I had been able to control myself I wouldn’t have scratched you,” he said, his hand running up and down her arm. “I should have been able to protect you. Protect you from myself.”

 “It was no one’s fault, Paul,” she sighed at his touch, a teasing smile spreading across her face after. “And I’ve heard scars make people hot.”

“You were already hot,” he grinned. “Scars just added to it.”

“Okay, cool it, Casanova,” she chuckled. “I can’t go for a round three. I’ve got studying to do.”

“You and I both know that studying for you is a formality,” he groaned. “You’ve been axing all your tests. You already passed Step 1, and in a couple of weeks you’ll be in your clinical rotations.”

“I still need to study, Paul. I’ve gotta make sure all the information is fresh in my brain,” she explained. “And, still, it’s almost time for your patrol shift. So, you don’t have time for anything else either.”

“The bloodsuckers are gone,” he said before kissing her neck. “What is there to patrol?”

“Probably the people of this reservation,” she breathed, trying her hardest to suppress the moan that wanted to escape. But it was as futile as denying him. “But, maybe we can go for one more round.”

Paul could simply laugh in response and take her lips on his. His hands snaked to the small of her back, pulling her body until his legs reached her bed. (Y/N) grinned at him as he buckled against the mattress and used his surprise to push him onto the bed. He forcefully sat down, spreading his legs to allow (Y/N) a space between them. But she seemed to have another idea.

The Uley girl closed his legs together before placing her knees at either side of his thighs, straddling his lap. She placed her hands on his cheeks before kissing him again, telling him she was just as hungry for him as he was for her. (Y/N) would have never admitted it out loud, but Paul knew his way around a woman’s body —not that she had mi b to compare it to. Still, she would never say it to him, afraid that he would think it would lead to something else.

Almost every week she would check in with Paul to make sure they were still on the same page regarding their relationship, or rather lack thereof. The last thing she wanted was to lead him on and she had told him so over and over again. But every single time he would tell her that he understood what they were and what they would never be. That he could separate his feelings from his urges, and that at some point she would have to believe him.

Even with her doubts, she pushed on. She couldn’t deny that she loved the convenience of having him just a couple of houses down and the fact that he was all for their… benefits. Things just seemed to be working out perfectly for her, and she continually overthought her way into thinking that the universe would mess everything up.

Still, instead of dwelling on what could happen in the future, she had started to enjoy things as they happened in the moment. And at that very instant, (Y/N) had started to deepen the kiss between her and Paul. Her hands ran through his short hair, gripping and pulling softly at the dark brown strands. At the same time and unconsciously, her lower half started grinding onto his lap, searching for that much-wanted friction.

Paul’s hand had made a home on her backside, cupping the soft skin that peeked out of her underwear and moving with her motions. Even if he loved being the one to lead in the bedroom, he couldn’t say that was the dynamic with (Y/N). She held all the power in her hands, there and in their personal life. And for the time being, he seemed to enjoy it. Mostly because it was (Y/N).

As the man’s hands finally decided to move and try to remove the shirt that dangled from (Y/N)’s neck, a knock resounded through the house. At first, they ignored it, continuing their exploration of each other’s bodies. But whoever was at the door did not relent, knocking once more and harder the second time.

“Just ignore them,” he groaned against her neck. “They’ll get the hint soon enough.”

“It’ll only take a second,” she chuckled, pushing him away from her body. “I’ll see who it is, okay? You can go eat something in the meantime.”

“Ugh, fine.”

(Y/N) lowered the shirt onto her body, the massive size drowning her inside, and slipped on a pair of sweatpants. In the meantime, Paul did the same, adjusting the ignored hard-on that would tent his pants. It made the girl laugh as she noted the discomfort on his face that was quite evidently laced with annoyance.

“Don’t worry, Paul. It’ll go down soon enough.”

“That’s not funny, (Y/N),” he grumbled. “I was promised something else.”

“I promised nothing,” she laughed, coming down the last steps of her staircase. “And you’ll be fine in a couple of minutes. It’s not like you haven’t gone months without sex.”

“You think you’re funny, huh?”

“Oh, I know I am,” she smiled. “Now go away.”

(Y/N) opened the door and was surprised by the person standing on the other side. The Forks sheriff was nervously pacing back and forth on her porch. She could see the darkened bags under his eyes and his hair was slightly disheveled. Instantly she knew why he was there.

“Sheriff Swan, what can I help you with?”

“Oh, hello, (Y/N),” Charlie breathed out. “How are you?”

“I’m good, thank you,” she offered him a smile. “How have you been?”

“Well, I’ll be honest, I’m feeling a bit defeated at the moment,” he sighed. “That’s actually the reason why I’m here. It’s Bella.”

“Is she okay?”

“Physically, sure. But ever since her boyfriend and his family moved away she’s been the living dead,”  the man explained. She could tell how tired he was, tired of being the only one that cared for her well-being —to care for the both of them. “I’m not one to gossip but I know you also went through something a few months back when the Cullens left. Yet, you were able to move on, and look at you now.”

“I can’t say it was easy, but I was lucky enough to have a lot of people rally behind me,” she chuckled slightly. “Still, I’m not sure how I could help you with her.”

“I was wondering if you could talk to her. Something tells me you’re the one who will understand what she’s going through the most and you’re honestly my last resort before I send her back to Florida with her mom.”

“Well then, thankfully I have a free day tomorrow and I can come over,” (Y/N) offered. “I’ll do what I can, Sheriff. I honestly didn’t know she was that bad.”

“I’ve tried my best to help her these past few months, but I don’t know what else to do.”

“No worries, Sheriff. We’ll get her out of this rut soon enough.”

“Thank you, (Y/N). I truly hope there’s something we can do,” he smiled weakly. “And, come on, what’s this sheriff business? You know you can call me Charlie.”

“Alright then, Charlie,” she chuckled. “I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

“Tomorrow,” he offered her another smile, this time a slight hint of hope painting across his lips. “I can’t thank you enough.”

“Thank me once I’ve done something, Charlie,” (Y/N) said with a laugh. “But I promise to try my best.”

“Alright then, I’ll see you tomorrow. Have a good rest of your day, (Y/N).”

“You too, Charlie.”

The girl waited until the cruiser disappeared down her road before she closed the door, a rush of guilt washing over her. She knew she hadn’t been alone in her heartbreak, that there was someone else that had tasted the Cullen drug and had been ripped away from the supply in the blink of an eye. (Y/N) had somehow forgotten that Bella had also had her heart ripped from her chest, and it seemed like she had been taking it harder than she ever had.

“What did the sheriff want?” Paul called from the kitchen, holding a plate with a sandwich.

“As if you couldn’t hear,” she chuckled. “Did you know it was that bad with Bella?”

“I’d heard whispers that she wasn’t doing good,” he shrugged. “But, honestly, my focus was on someone else. If I have to pick between one leech lover or another, I’m always picking you.”

“That’s not funny, Paul,” (Y/N) sighed, reprimanding her friend with her gaze. “It looks like she’s taking this really hard. Has Sam not gone over to check up on her? I mean, he is the one that found her that night.”

“(Y/N), we were more worried about you,” he responded sternly. “You took this hard as well. Need I remind you of your brief visit into alcoholism? Bella Swan has other people to worry about her. We needed you to be okay.”

(Y/N) remained quiet for a second. She knew if it hadn’t been for Paul and Sam, she would probably still be stuck in the overconsuming darkness of her loneliness. She had done things that she never thought she would do, she said things she never thought she would say, and she had felt the most gut-wrenching pain she had ever believed she would feel.

“I’m sorry,” she whimpered. “I know I sent you guys through hell with how I was acting a few months back.”

“Hey, hey,” he called her attention, placing a hand under her chin before wiping away a few stray tears. Paul wrapped his arms around her, letting her head rest on his chest. “You were heartbroken, (Y/N). It’d be weird if you had been fine with it.”

“Still, you guys had to witness me at my absolute worst. You more than others. I wasn’t a good person during that time.”

“Sadness and loneliness make you do crazy things, (Y/N). None of us blames you for how you were acting during that time,” he told her. His voice rumbled through her chest and sent her calming vibrations. “We will always be by your side, no matter what. We love you and care about you. And we’re just glad you’re better now.”

“I’m glad I’m better now too,” she smiled against his chest. “And I wanna help Bella get better too. If the way she’s feeling is even an ounce of the way I felt, she shouldn’t go through this by herself.”

“Want me to drive you tomorrow?”

“No,” she sighed. “I think this is something I should do by myself. Bringing someone that is so against her ex might not be the best thing.”

“She doesn’t know what I am though. At least she shouldn’t know.”

“Because of the pact.”

“Yeah,” he responded. “We can’t say what the Cullens are and they can’t say what we are. So Bella shouldn’t know why I hate them so much. She probably thinks I’m just like every other person of the rez that dislikes the Cullen because of our ancestors.”

“Still, I think I should go by myself for now,” she smiled up at him. “The last thing she needs is to meet someone new.”

“Fine,” he smiled back before it morphed into the Cheshire Cat grin. “What’re you doing the rest of the afternoon then?”

“I still need to study, and Emily invited me over for dinner tonight.”

“What you’re saying is that you have like an hour to spare?”

“I don’t think that’s what I said, Paul,” she chuckled. “But I guess I do have some time to spare —more like thirty minutes though.”

“More than enough,” he smirked.

He placed his hands under her thighs, prompting her to jump onto his waist and wrap her legs around him. She kissed his lips softly, running her hands through his hair. (Y/N) held on tight as Paul moved them back upstairs and to her bedroom. 

Once back inside the now white walls of her room, he lay her softly onto her bed, his lips never leaving hers. He kissed her hungrily, not wanting to waste a single moment he was with her. He kissed her cheek, he kissed her temple, he kissed her chin, and he kissed her neck. It was one of his favorite things. To taste every inch of her skin for as long as she allowed him to.

“What are you doing for Valentine's?” Paul asked abruptly, the question coming out of nowhere. “There’s gonna be a bonfire that night. It’s mostly for couples but we can go as friends.”

“Great timing for that question, Paul,” she panted. “And I don’t know. That’s over a month from now. The only thing I’m sure of is that I’m gonna be studying.”

“So do you wanna go if you’re free?”

(Y/N) wasn’t sure. Thanksgiving had passed, so had Christmas and New Year. She had gone through three big holidays that she had pictured spending with him, and there were still so many more that she would have to experience with other people when she only wanted to spend it with him. As much as she had chosen to move on and try her hardest to forget him, it still hurt.

Every day that passed hurt. Every second that passed hurt. It didn’t matter how much time had passed, her heart still wanted him and only him. But it was something she could not admit. Not to her mother, to her brother, much less to Paul. She said she was okay, she looked like she was okay, and she needed herself to be okay.

“I don’t wanna make a compromise like that when I don’t know what my schedule is gonna look like,” she sighed. “But ask me again on the seventh and I’ll let you know.”

“Fine,” he groaned jokingly.

“Now, can we talk about comparing schedules later and go back to kissing?”

“You don’t have to ask me twice,” he smirked before going back to attack her lips.

As they were getting back into the game of bodies, ripping away their clothes and reveling in the other’s body, a shout from outside interrupted them. At first, they chose to ignore it, thinking it was teenagers having fun in the street. But the clear mention of Paul’s name startled them apart. It was a voice that was usually very quiet and had just recently joined the pack.

“Yo, Paul!” Embry Call yelled from (Y/N)’s backyard. “We’re supposed to be on patrol right now!”

“Gods, what fucking timing!” Paul groaned. “I hate how eager he is to follow the rules. Like, does he not know there’s no active threat right now?”

“He’s just trying to make sense of all of this the best way he knows how,” (Y/N) explained. “He’s keeping his head down and doing what he’s told. Just being able to shift is a big shock, but finding out that your father is someone from the reservation is world-shattering. The poor kid is also getting smoke at home from his mom, and he can’t ask questions because he would have no proof of where he got them.”

“You’re actually making me feel bad for him.”

“You should. Right now, he’s not only lost his friends but he’s had his whole life turned upside down. What he needs more than anything is someone to guide him and be by his side.” 

“Don’t look at me,” Paul scoffed. “That’s the alpha’s job.”

“I’m just asking that you don’t make his life harder than it already is,” she smiled at him. “He needs a friend, not someone to kick him when he’s already down.”

“Fine,” he conceded. “That kid is lucky you’re on his side.”

“Shut up and get dressed,” she laughed. “Don’t leave Embry waiting.”

Paul grumbled under his breath as he slipped on every piece of clothing he needed to get dressed in. As he complained and groaned, (Y/N) moved to the window, wanting to give Embry at least a heads up that Paul would take his time with going downstairs.

“Hey, Embry,” she called out. “Paul will be down in a sec, he’s too busy complaining at the moment.”

“Oh, hi, (Y/N),” he said as he blushed. “That’s okay. Sorry I showed up like this. Jared said that if Paul wasn’t at Sam’s that he was most likely here.”

“He is correct about that.”

“And don’t worry, I’ve been practicing suppressing my thoughts so that Sam doesn’t find out.”

“No worries, Embry,” she chuckled. “I know that Sam will eventually find out. So, it’s fine.”

“Oh, but still. It’s good practice.”

“I’m leaving now,” Paul interrupted, a definite scowl on his face. “As much as I don’t want to.”

“Well, I was saved by the bell,” she grinned teasingly. “Now I have more time to study. So, you can go.”

“Ugh, twist my arm why don’t you.”

“Go, Paul,” she chuckled.

“Fine,” he said before kissing her lips softly. “But I’ll see you later for dinner, right?” 

“Yes, Paul. You’ll see me later.”

Next ->

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...continued in comment section

[musetoo]

Not quite ten years ago I had an issue with ongoing harassment on this website and a couple of others, but primarily here on tumblr. It got to the point where I couldn't look at the notification icon for asks without shaking, so I had them off for years. Because of the boop game, I've gotten to interact with so many people on the site today, and it feels nice to have that aspect back, even if it's just for the day. I hope it lasts longer than one day! I hope people feel comfortable wandering into each other's asks again tomorrow. And I'm very grateful to have such positive associations with my inbox today.

[soot-and-salt]

I believe my dear Hazel reached out to you, so I’ve come to confess that I am the friend in question gushing about your series We Should’ve Been Enemies.

I just started reading it last night (I’ll be picking up on Part Six later today) but just… WOW. It’s really so incredible; I can’t get over your prose and word choices. There were so many times that I laughed at their quips and groaned (adoringly) at your masterfully written imagery/metaphors. I’m lowkey studying this with a magnifying glass and fine-toothed comb.

How I only found this last night is beyond me because there are soooo many things that I love thematically with this (your Crimson Peak “blink and you’ll miss it” got me so good; that’s a favorite of mine) and I’m just telling myself to be happy now that I’ve found it instead of lamenting over not knowing sooner.

I can’t wait to catch up on the series, but had to let you know that I’m enjoying it so much and it’s truly such a work of art. Thank you, thank you, thank you! ♥️

ps: sending this from my main, but my Hazbin side-blog is minkdelovely (not a plug, just a heads up if you start seeing that name in your notifs 🤭)

You do not even understand, I am blushing so hard my face is incandescent. You can use it to land airplanes or lead ships to safe harbor. I am besides myself with an indescribable joy.

I love the mentality of "Dang, I wish I had known sooner, but I'm here now!". That's so wonderful.

(oh my god they called it a work of art, my head is in my hands, I am sobbing)

This might be the nicest thing I've ever gotten in my ask box and I just keep staring at it. Thank you for your kind words, I am so glad you're enjoying WSBE.

(this user kindly let me post their ask on main, which was super cool of them as well)

[thedawningofthehour]

I was really sure we wouldn't have a chapter today, waking up and seeing the chapter notification was really surprising and scary.

'Bella is still under arrest and it looks like Pax went to live with Draxum'.

I WANTED ONE THING, FAI!!! ONE THING!!!

Northampton Arch!

Not Northampton Arch.

I love April's parents, if anything bad ever happens to them I will resent you for the rest of the series.

Nice to see Mr. Bone again, definitely a great character, hope he can still reconcile with his brother in this reality as well. Don suave could be super useful. What are your headcanon about the guy.

'Draxum has not let him be seen, Or mentioned his name. Pray that continues'

Yeahh, Donnie will have a hard time even if the court pardons him. The boy will not only have to deal with the emotional burden, but also with the fact that many people hate him for what he did even if he was brainwashed.

Finally we get to see the repercussions of Draxum's actions more closely, God, it reminds me so much of the Mutant town arc. You said book 3 will focus more on donnie, right? I hope he gets a closer glimpse of what Draxum's war is causing.

Again, poor people, their lives took a 180° turn thanks to Draxum, and not because they are now mutants the Yokai will accept them just like that, and Draxum is too focused on his goal of mutating everyone to see it.

Lita! No Wait, Jenny! JENNY!!! as in JENIKA!!!?

Poor Raph, they should give him a pizza for every time they mistake him for an adult.

Ending up with a turtle power is the sweetest and most beautiful thing ever and you should never feel bad about it.

I've honestly been surprised by how much I got into writing the O'Neils. Originally I just put them in because I was making April a very prominent character and either I constantly show her making excuses and whatnot to keep them off her back or I imply that she's hella neglected. Which-people have done neglected April before and it works great for them, but I thought it would be simpler to just have them meet the fam and get it over with.

Simpler. Lol.

I've really enjoyed writing their dynamic, especially in this last chapter. They do fight, of course they do, all married couples argue. They're extremely stressed out, worried about their daughter and three bonus sons, and deeply worried and mourning for the bonus son they haven't gotten to meet. But they're good people with healthy communications and whatnot, and they still use little terms of endearment and show affection and are still generally in love after being married for probably twenty years.

And they're so parent-coded. They were perfectly happy being one and done, but these boys are children 2-5 now.

I mean, depends on how homosexual you think Bishop is? I feel like he's one of those asexuals who wields their asexuality like a weapon. Don Suave tries to seduce him and he just pulls out his pistol and shoots his dick off.

I was thinking of mentioning the Hueso-Piel reconciliation later on, but it would be a pretty minor thing. Probably just a mention and Piel walking around in the background. Shit's getting real, it's dumb to hang onto stupid brotherly feuds when your brother might die tomorrow.

Lol, that's why I made her a yellow-bellied slider. I kind of liked the idea of Leo having other slider mutants around, considering they're such popular pets and more people would have slider DNA on their person verses alligator snappers or softshells. We can say that Jenny grows up to be a fearsome crimefighter herself. But right now she's six.

[charmspoint]

I've gotten sooooo many "this sucks must be written by ai" comments on curse au in the last 24 hours (all reported as spam) so honestly extra thanks to people commenting today, it's so nice to see a notification and it not being bot spam made to make you feel bad

[art-beyond-the-stars]

"Oh my gosh, I've gotten so many notifications today! I wonder what could have caused -"

YOU @sm-baby

[aliatori]

🖋️❓ 10 & 25

So you know that thing where you read a text message notification but then don't immediately respond to it, so it vanishes into the ether of memory to be obliterated forever? That's what happened to this ask until I was going through my inbox for other stuff! Better late than never, and these are great questions from the weird writer asks, so let's get into it. 10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you? Writing has absolutely haunted me. Most of my favourite writing haunts me in one way or another, especially if we use a loose definition of 'intangibly living rent-free in one's mind' as haunting. Haunting, for me, revolves around a piece of writing having a prominent place in my memory, even if I've only read it once, or if it has been years since I've read it. I'd be here for a much longer essay if I listed every piece of writing taking up residence in my mind like a beloved ghost, but a few that come to mind immediately:

The Animorphs series by K.A. Applegate. Little did I know picking up the second book in this series as 2nd grader would etch permanent grooves in my psyche and interests. Ostensibly, these books are about kids transforming into animals via sci-fantasy magic, but as the series goes on, it unpacks a startlingly political and horror-backed landscape of personal trauma, the cost of colonialism, and how war never has any victors even when there is a 'victor'. It's no small wonder I ended up radicalized.

Empress of the World by Sara Ryan. I've known I was queer since a very young age even if I didn't have all the words for it, but across the years, I've felt so seen by certain pieces of writing in terms of my identity. This was the first contemporary sapphic book I ever read, and while 'sapphic' no longer completely describes my queerness, as someone who identified as a mostly-closeted bisexual girl when I read it, it was deeply impactful.

Kushiel's Dart by Jacqueline Carey. I can credit this book with planting the seeds for the kinky, poly self I am today, as well as for many of my favourite concepts/tropes (tangible deities! masochists who are strong-willed and feisty! magical tattoos! sex as the vehicle for the sacred!) I re-read this book... this year? Last year? What is time? It still holds up each and every time I re-read it.

Everything Pablo Neruda. Neruda was the poet who made me fall in love with poetry as an art form. I will probably spend the rest of my life trying to describe love with a fraction of the artistry that he does in his love sonnets. Specifically, XVII has always been a favourite, and this stanza in particular: I don't love you as if you were a rose of salt, topaz, or arrow of carnations that propagate fire: I love you as one loves certain obscure things, secretly, between the shadow and the soul. (Fun fact: This is where the title of my first FFXV longfic came from as well.)

Haunting also implies more morbid aspects, and to me, that means corpses. When my own writing haunts me, it tends to be the unfinished corpses I have left behind. My abandoned longfic Artificial is first and foremost among the corpses that haunt me. To this day I wish I had been able to finish it, but for a variety of reasons I won't detail here, it's not happening. I've gotten to the point where I appreciate how well it prepared me to transition into mostly original writing, and how it gave me an idea of the discipline and scope finishing a 100k+ project requires. I've never been a BNF and likely never will, but I will forever be grateful for the small yet passionate community that sprang up around Artificial. It's humbling to have people along for your weird (but well-mapped from canon!) AU project and have recursive creativity result from it. My original sapphic inkwitch/painter romantasy continues to haunt me, both because it was originally supposed to be for a project I self-sabotaged myself out of and because I still really need to write it - for myself. It's been through three drafts at this point without being quite what I want it to be. I keep tending the idea field and collecting bits of inspiration, letting the field nourish itself before giving it another try. 25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story? In their youth and pre-transition, before their first long-term posting aboard a navy vessel, Izod Arsenault was a talented dancer, to the point of receiving accolades from and invitations to the Imperial court to perform. Their favourite was a dance I imagine to be similar to the quickstep in modern ballroom dancing. It's also half the reason they sincerely enjoy attending Admiralty parties—the other being their bottomless thirst for throwing their political weight around. I'm not sure if this is hyper-specific enough, but it's at least specific, and it's for sure completely irrelevant to any plotty part of F&F.

[ratlesshonret]

so many ghost notifs. i've gotten like six today.

[advnterccs-archive]

❤️ — what are some of your best qualities?

🍦 — favorite ice cream flavor(s)?

🧶 — any non-writing hobbies/interests?

���� — what have you accomplished in the rpc that you’re proud of?

munday asks! || accepting

{ OOC } 1. Damn, my best qualities? Well, I guess I'm very thoughtful(?), I care a lot about those I'm closest to, I'm a real good listener (so i've been told), and I guess I'm a very strong person with a clear-head who tends to always find the best solutions for those who are in need of help.

But that's all I can say xD 'cause I'm blanking

2. Well, for ice cream, I gotta go with the traditional flavors of Vanilla (and any version of Vanilla, including Vanilla Bean and French Vanilla~) but also the more unique flavors, I gotta say cookie dough and birthday cake! They're so good and I usually get it whenever I'm at the store (especially if it's Ben and Jerry's or the other one that has a German name that I can't spell because my brain is mush today xD)

3. If I'm not writing I usually play video games. Currently I'm playing Two Point Hospital (which is somehow a game i play every once a year and around this time too ? it's a coincidence but a fun one tho xD) and also the Sims 4. I also like singing and dancing, but not in like the casual way. I've been dancing since i was 8 and usually I like either coming up with my own choreography or learning other choreographies for songs. I think I have like 5 choreographies learnt because it takes a lot of time and practice for me and usually i can't find the time xD

4. This is a tricky question because I don't think I've accomplished much? Like I'm grateful that I've managed to build a little community of crossovers 'cause the Rick and Morty fandom isn't that big. So I'm always happy whenever other fandoms decide to adopt my Rick and Morty.

And I'm very proud of the fact that my Roleplay Resources blog has gotten a lot of attention too, I've never seen that many notifications and I'm always amazed xD

[ventcode]

I just wanna kinda,, ramble, I guess, so many thoughts on my mind, and I never really ramble on purpose (it's mostly an accidental thing..) so.

my shoulder still hurts kinda. it all hurts alot, actually. i don't know why. no matter what i do. ive stopped bringing it up over and over again though. nobody seems to quite listen. some streches, but the pain only subsides for a little bit.

im hungry, but i ate food all day yesterday. seems no matter how much i eat lately, ill still be hungry, and if i dont eat im starving, it makes my stomach feel horrible, the six and kyoko brain mix surely isn't helping.

im listening to my theme, six's theme part II, it's been calming me down, ive been humming along, im just making sure i dont have another panic attack, it surely does help, afterall its calmed me down before, as six. im not surprised it still helps now.

i keep having to change my shirt, it gets uncomfortable too much, its quite annoying, i put on deodorant too but it seems to wear off and it becomes uncomfortable again, maybe i just need to shower tomorrow (today? i don't count it as the next day until i wake up that morning.), that must be the case, im just not clean.

speaking of, its annoying but i seem to always need reminders to do stuff, or i dont take care of myself and do my own thing, with the food thing its gotten better since im always really hungry lately, so the first thing i try to do when i have time is eat food. but with the other stuff of taking care of myself, i seem to neglect it. showering. cleaning my room (i havent done that in MONTHS). drinking water. brushing my teeth. laundry stuff. i always need reminders. but i cant get reminders from my parents. "you're 14, you need to remember this stuff", and if I set a reminder on my phone, I always swipe away the notification and forget about it without fail. it's annoying. i hate that.

I miss my fort from last year, my matress on the ground next to the window, my tv there, just. ofc it neglected the rest of my room but. i miss my own little space there. it was from a calmer time. it had problems like bugs (i found a cockroach crawling on the tv once at night), but otherwise, everything else was okay, i miss just. i miss that, i guess. maybe I should use that tv again, it still works, just not my PS4, the Wii U works though, so, maybe I'll try that.

I think about holding your hand alot, anywhere, I don't really care where it is, but lately I just. have the feeling it'd be nice to just hold your hand, like you're there with me, I've just been holding onto that pillows sleeve more and more, like im holding onto your hand, it keeps the comfort, it helps just a little, I wish it was real, I want to hold your hand. When we meet, I don't think I'll let go of it. ^^"

My dreams have all been,, upsetting as of late, probably because of my anxieties before I go to bed. it sucks, it gets me in a bad mood in the morning, but I'm trying not to lose my hope for atleast a better dream, if dreams reflect subconscious, then I just have to think good things before bed right? I surely try but, I don't know why they all end up bad, I have alot of bad days, but, during the evening, it gets a bit better, and then bad again, I don't know what's really been happening. A horrible nightmare, they're stressing me, but I need to stop thinking too hard on them, if I do, then nothing good is bound to happen.

I think of those bad opinions on me, I'm really no monster, I'm a traumatized 9 year old, a kid, a child, I'm little. I'm surviving in a world that's trying to kill me. I really just wanted to survive, that's all I wanted. sure I ate a nome and I ate the ladys fucking neck and probably did something else Im unaware of in source atm and didn't save those kids in the maw, but, I really am no monster. I swear and promise. I didn't want to be the "hero who saved the kids", I wanted out, to survive, cause I'm a fucking child. I wish everyone knew that. but who'd believe me, if anything, everyone else would think im crazy, that I'm not really six, that im most likely just delusional, and that upsets me. so I can't be honest. that's such a stupid reason but, yk, the anxieties. (fun not so fun fact! during those hunger pangs when i was playing the game and watching you play as well, my stomach felt like SHIT dude. </3)

Speaking of, depending on the ID, I hate referring to myself in 3rd person (unless im speaking in 3p at the time), it just bothers me and I feel separated from myself, and it hurts. with some its fine and others its not. and sometimes I fuck up, so I'll accidentally refer to myself in 1st person with an irl friend and they'll look confused, I mostly just go oops and correct myself but, god does it really hurt, alot. But I don't wanna be honest abt that since it's easier to just refer in 3rd. even I just do it out of habit, but it just gives me a bad feeling, like I'm not me, and the others aren't. the others. I don't know. maybe I just have issues and shit.

idk why but talking about that just reminded me of that time I met a double and got them banned from using tumblr. bro is that mad !!! but srsly I got like so mad in the dream and spam reported them and Tumblr was on my side and banned the account and ANY NEW ACCOUNTS THEY MADE. bro dream me is winning everyday (/lie im having frequent nightmares!! /silly)

it's hard to talk but also extremely easy to talk, the words come out but I don't want them to, like I don't really want to talk to anyone, of course I make my exceptions, if nobody could tell /silly but, idk, it feels meaningless to talk, I'd rather just. do stuff. not talk unless needed, but, when most your friends are online, you kind of need to talk most of the time, or nobody understands what you're saying, even on voice calls, not like I wanna have my camera on at all times (depending on the person), so, it's still useless, I don't exactly know what to do about this, I feel myself talking more and more even though I wanna talk less and less. oops I guess.

me and toaster talked, we're still friends, but we wont contact for awhile, or atleast not every day, i apologized, and so did he, i really do feel bad for acting like an asshole. but everything's okay now, and it'll all be okay.

seems im getting teary eyed writing,, all this, there's so much I'm saying, yet I say I wanna talk less, that's funny, isn't it? I've written so many thoughts down that it's been like 40 minutes at this point, that's funny, how much is really on my mind.

enjoy my thoughts and rambles, I know atleast one person will read this, waving!! sorry I ruined my sleep schedule again, I'll do better.. :')

Goodnight. ♡

[the-writers-bookshelf]

Hoi, and a happy Fab Friday!

I almost forgot, again... I swear I have calendar notifs and everything. and yet...

Anyway, I finished the first half of The Late Fall last week, and I'm now working on the second half! I've also finished a bunch of outlining things. For this rewrite of TLF, I'm adding some POVs so everyone's arcs are a bit more spread out and the story feels more balanced. That gave me the opportunity to throw in some banter and more casual interaction as well (plus a teeny tiny bit of foreshadowing):

TW for a pill mention, but it's just aspirin and Brenda really did have a headache.

Jorge snatched a bottle of water out of their supply crate and handed it to her. “For that pill you took.” “You’re spying on me now?” “It’s called concern. Typically it’s a… valued character trait.” Brenda unscrewed the cap and fished the pill out of her pocket. “Privacy. Used to be a right, or something like that.” “You’re a minor. I’d have some rights there.” “Seriously? You know law now?” Jorge shrugged. “I saw you close the door to the supply closet, all right? And there’s not a lot you’d want there other than clothes and the kit, so—” “So you saw me, and then you—” “I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s going on.” “Headache.” Brenda swallowed it and handed him his bottle back. “You heard it back there. Nothing to worry about.” “When did it start?” Brenda shrugged. “What does it matter? I’m fine. People get headaches. I can think of a few things that might’ve caused this one that got nothing to do with the Flare. I don’t need you spying on me.” She flashed him the pill wrapper. “They’re not dangerous stuff.” “Well you’re barely talking, so do you blame me?” “I don’t feel like talking,” she snapped back. “I’m tired.” Jorge extended his arm before she could step away. “Look, I’m sorry, all right? Can’t let an old man worry?” Brenda scoffed, but smiled. “So now you’re old?” Jorge’s face stayed serious. “Brenda….” “If I’d tell you about every twitch in my body we’d be talking non-stop. No offense, but we’ve got stuff to do. What’s the plan if no one talks?” “You’re having tremors?” “No.” She rolled her eyes. “I’m fine. I probably just breathed in some smoke, or didn’t drink enough.” Jorge frowned. “If you—” “I already had that preach. Look, I know we can’t take her word for it. I’m not stupid. If anything’s up, you’ll be first the first to know.” He hummed. “I’ll hold you to that.” “I know.”

I hope to finish this part before my winter break is over (it started today!)

I also have a really wonderful new year's resolution, and that's to not forget Fab Friday three times in a row again XD

Happy Holidays!

Hey, no worries! I've lost count of how many times I post, "It's Fab Friday tomorrow!" and then...immediately forget 🤣

On the bright side, WOW you've gotten so much done!! That's fantastic!! I'm impressed you're going back and bulking things up, deepening and expanding and broadening and giving more breathing room. That takes dedication! Especially after being at it as long as you have!

And your writing is so dang SMOOTH great job!! :)

Hope you have a spectacularly productive winter break!! (With a few naps and some R&R in there too!)

Have a cozy, restful happy holidays! :)

[thingsonvcr]

ok what did you think about the bikeriders?? tell me EVERYTHING

Well hello there anon! I don't remember if I've ever gotten an ask before, so this is very exciting! 😲Apologies for not getting to this sooner, tumblr kind of buried the notification. Not sure if I have any sort of good or coherent answer to give, but I actually saw the movie a second time just today, so let's see...

What I can say is that I liked the movie. I was glad that I decided to take a little online break to avoid spoilers. I mean, I knew the basic premise from the trailer and all the promo, but I was glad that I went in fairly blind.

While the cast was really good overall, the two performances that stood out were Jodie's and Tom's, mainly because they had the meatiest roles out of all the cast. I especially loved Jodie, she was great with both the subtle humor and the drama. I'm not the biggest fan of Tom in general, but he gave a solid, believable performance. And I guess I have to thank him for that One Scene (I'm sure you know which one I mean), because that was INSANE.

I understand the choice of making Benny such a mystery (I mean, he wasn't interviewed for Lyon's book anyway, and all they had was secondhand accounts from Kathy and the other bikers). Jeff talked about him being very much an empty vessel for Kathy and Johnny to pour their own wants and expectations into, and that certainly came through, but I guess I was hoping Austin would've been given just a liiiiittle more substance to work from. What they did worked for the central conflict and building the sort of, idk, mythos of Benny. Austin did well with what he was given, and GODDAMN was he nice to look at, but I wish there'd been a bit more in terms of dialogue and central scenes. There was a whole world behind those eyes that we never really got to know. A deliberate choice, yes, but I very selfishly wanted the camera on him ALL. THE. TIME. 😅 Jodie and Austin had great chemistry (I loved their promo tour together), so I would've been happy with a few more scenes with just the two of them.

I liked the use of the Danny Lyon interviews as a way to introduce the rest of the bikers and to give the audience quick insight into their characters. Using Kathy as the narrator of the story was also a nice choice, it balanced out all the rough and tumble masculinity. On the other hand, because Kathy in many ways remained an outsider, the audience never really gained any deeper insight into the inner workings of the club or the men that were part of it. While this didn't necessarily bother me, it was something I noticed.

So yeah, I liked the look of the movie, loved the soundtrack, and overall had a good time. I think the fact that my mind kept returning to the movie and kind of puzzling over it so much I went to see it a second time says something, even if I can't quite articulate it here.

I think that first becoming aware of Austin because of Elvis kind of ruined me (I mean, I know it fucking did 😭), because now that he's been doing supporting roles I always find myself just wanting more. Because we all know he can do soooo much more. He just needs to star in a lead role again ASAP (the Darren Aronofsky project seems to be one, right?). Still, having a new actor whose career you're interested in following is nice (haven't had that in the longest time), you end up watching stuff that might have otherwise never even been on your radar. ❤️

[treadmilltreats]

I planned to end my life

So if you know me or follow me, you know I've been through some shit in my life. Actually, lots of shit. And even though I am one of the most positive people you will ever meet, I still am human.

I want to share this story, especially during this holiday season when so many people may be thinking of doing the same thing I once was.

I was in this horrible verbally abusive marriage for 24 years. I had just lost my mom suddenly, and it was the first Christmas without her. I was going through a divorce but still living in the home we shared. My girls definitely took their father's side and locked me out of their lives even though they saw the abuse, I suffered all their lives.

I had gotten sick, really sick, and no one even cared, and as I lay there, I thought that's it, I'm outta here. I wrote notes to the girls and some friends. I got all my mothers old pills together and was going to do this on Christmas Eve.

I felt I had nothing to live for, that no one wanted me or would miss me anyways, so let's just do this.

At the moment, I was about to take the pills. My Facebook messages notification went off, and because I thought who would be messaging me at 1am on Christmas Eve, I looked. It was an old high school friend named Art. I hadn't heard from him in 25 years, but here he was messaging me that he was thinking about me. He said how I was always there for him and others, and he wanted to let me know that he would always be there for me, that he was just a phone call away. I don't know why, but I called him, and he listened as I went into the ugly cry telling him all about my life.

He talked me off the ledge and told me my life had meaning. He let me know how many people I've been so kind to, and that loved me. By the time we hung up, I got on my knees and prayed for God's help.

Who would have known that my life would be completely different one year later. I was divorced and happy. I had my own place and I was giving a housewarming party in which many of my school friends were flying in from all over the country. I finally was at peace with who I was and where I was going. I started my own business, had many friends, and was happy. I couldn't ever see this happening on that horrible night when I was planning to take my life.

So today, my friends, this message may be for you. You may be going through some terrible times right now. You may not be able to see the sun, and you may be thinking it's not worth it, but I'm here to tell you that it is.

That one day, one week or one year from now, your whole life could be different. You can't give up. You may be the light for someone else.

I posted a thank you blog to my dear friend Art a year later. Someone reached out to me and said they were about to take their own life, but reading my blog made him rethink it and hold on. See…my story helped someone else. Your story could be your testimony, but you have to be here to tell it.

Only you can be the change you want to see.

@Treadmilltreats

"Be the change you want to see"

@Treadmilltreats

"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

**Now released my latest book**

The Blessing in Disguise.... revealed

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***Now available***

My 1st book The blessing in Disguise

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