#but i've never seen this before and it doesn't exactly give off kind and positive fandom energy

[ineffabells]

Serious question: for those who put 'tcest DNI' in your ao3 tags, what's the reasoning? Do you actually think that a random tcest fan is going to come into your genfic and comment "cool story but wish you made them f*ck" or smth?? i just really can't imagine anything like that happening, which leads me to think that the tags more just being used as a middle finger to tcest fans?

i've never seen a fandom before where dnis were common in ao3 tags but it makes me feel kind of ick

[zxxccx]

My Roommate's Manipulative Friend

This is a work of fiction. All characters are 18+. Contains male fart fetish content. This is my first story so I hope you enjoy it 🙂

My name is Jeff. One day during junior year of college, I was chilling in my off-campus apartment with my roommate Evan and his friend Matt. I've known Evan since freshman year and we're pretty close. Evan and Matt are childhood friends who grew up and went to high school together. They were both typical surfer/skater bros. I had only met Matt a few times before - his college was kind of far from ours, so he and Evan don't get to hang out as much as they used to. Even though we barely knew each other, I got the sense that he didn't really like me and if we're being honest, the feeling was mutual. On this particular day, there wasn't much going on and we were all pretty bored. Like typical millennials, we were all sitting there separately scrolling on our phones. All of the sudden Matt started chuckling so Evan and I looked up.

E: "What's so funny?”

M: "I was reading through this site that lists random world records and it turns out this guy Bernard Clemens has the record for world's longest fart at 2 minutes and 42 second."

E: "Pfft, I could beat that."

They cracked up. I rolled my eyes and apparently Matt didn't appreciate that.

M: "What's your problem?"

E: "Ignore him, he doesn't think farts are funny."

M: "Are you serious? Farts are fucking hilarious!"

E: "I tried to tell him that, but he's a total prude. I've never even farted in front of him before because I don't want to hear him complain. I just hold in my gas and let it out when he's not around."

M: "That sucks, no man should have to hold in his gas. Everyone should rip loud and proud! One time I even farted in Evan's face."

J: "Gross! Did you puke?"

They both laughed.

E: "Puke? It was only a fart. I swung around and blasted him right back. Don't dish it out if you can't take it."

M: "Ya know Jeff, I'd be happy give you some exposure therapy to help you appreciate farts more."

J: "No thanks. Can we please talk about something else?"

I could tell Matt was enjoying having fun at my expense, but fortunately he relented and changed the subject. He announced that he was starving and that we should all grab food. Evan immediately agreed, but I really wasn't hungry. I was also feeling kind of tired, so I decided to stay back and take a nap.

...

I woke up and felt like something was off. I tried to move and freaked out when I realized I couldn't. I opened my eyes and saw Evan and Matt staring down at me with huge grins. I tried to say something but I couldn't because there was tape over my mouth.

M: "Heyyyyyy. Enjoy your nap?"

E: "I can't, this is too good."

I took a moment to take in my current position. I was laid out with my head on a couch cushion and my lower body being supported by the coffee table. My legs were taped together and my arms were taped to my side. Again, I tried to protest but was only able to produce muffled sounds.

M: "We got a real treat in store for you. Ya see, I've been thinking more about what Evan said earlier about being able to beat the world record farter and thought it would be fun put his gas to the test. The Taco Bell we had for lunch should be more than enough to fuel this challenge, but I figure we need a judge to make sure it's fair and think your virgin nostrils make you the perfect candidate for the job."

Matt had the biggest grin I've ever seen. I felt annoyed that Evan would go along with this idea, but wasn't entirely surprised. While I know Evan didn't actually care about some dumb world record (I think the three of us all knew that it likely wasn't even possible), he's a really competitive guy who's not one to shy away from a challenge. I'm sure Evan only said he could beat the record earlier as a joke, but that was exactly the fodder Matt needed to take advantage of his competitive nature and turn it against me. Evan and I also never pass up on an opportunity to have a little fun at each other's expense, so I'm sure that only made him easier to manipulate in this case.

M: "Now Evan, to confirm, you've never even so much as farted in the same room as Jeff before, right?"

E: "That is correct."

M: "Wow, so that means his first experience with your gas is gonna point-blank. That's rough. As someone who's been blasted by you before, I can say even at a distance it absolutely reeked. I can't imagine how much worse it'll be at ground zero. Let's just say I'm really glad I'm not in his position."

E: "Yeah this is probably gonna be pretty bad. Honestly, I was a bit hesitant to go through with this. I mean farts are funny, but this is taking things to a whole new level. Does anyone really deserve to be subjected to something this disgusting? I wasn't so sure, but then Matt pointed out that this is only a prank and it's all in good fun. Who knows, it might even help you lighten up a bit. And if you think about it, this really is the opportunity of a lifetime for you. I've farted at people several times before, but I've never fully sat on someone's face and let rip. You're gonna get to fully experience my gas in a way that no one has before and possibly never will again. And of all the people who could possibly receive that honor, I'm kind of glad it's you."

Evan looked down at me with an amused smirk. I knew he was mostly just messing with me, but I couldn't believe how far he and Matt were taking this. Knowing that I was gonna be the first person to "fully experience" his gas and that he was glad about it only increased my frustration.

M: "Alright, enough chit chat. Let's get to it. Evan, your throne awaits!"

Matt motioned towards my face. I knew this was my last chance to put a stop to this. If only I could speak, I was confident I'd be able to talk Evan out of this. Unfortunately, I didn't have that luxury. I put up as much of a fight as I could and let out as many muffled please as possible, but they fell on deaf ears. Evan spun around and hovered his ass above my face. Then slowly and tauntingly, he began to sit down. To add insult to injury, he made sure to maintain eye contact with me until he was fully seated and his board short clad ass completely covered my face, enveloping it in warmth.

E: "Wow, he's actually kind of comfy."

He wiggled a little which caused my nose to sink further into his ass and settle right below his asshole. I can't believe my best friend was actually sitting on my face.

M: "This is so awesome! I can't believe we're actually doing this!"

They both laughed. I could feel Evan's body shake when he laughed. I had been holding my breath up until this point but my lungs felt like the were going to give out so I reluctantly gave in and took a breath. Fortunately, Evan's a pretty hygienic guy so it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but it still smelled like ass and wasn't exactly pleasant.

E: "Whoa, that felt weird?"

M: "What?"

E: "He just sniffed my ass."

M: "Nice, bet he's loving it! Got any gas in the tank?"

E: "Yeah, feels like the Taco Bell is fully kicking in so I think I'm ready to let rip."

M: "Do it. Blast him!"

I felt Evan start to bear down and push. I braced myself and wondered what I did to deserve this.

PPPPRPTRPTPRPTRPP

The fart vibrated across my face. I felt Evan let out a sigh and relax. I was afraid to breathe.

M: "Is he sniffing?"

E: "Nah, feels like he's holding his breath."

M: "That's no fun, we'll have to fix that."

Before I had time to process what Matt meant by that, he abruptly pushed down hard on my chest forcing the air out of my lungs through my nose. I was furious at him, but it was short lived. My body involuntary took in air to refill my lungs and, as soon as I took in my first breath of Evan's gas, my mind went blank. I had never smelled something so bad in my life and my body was having trouble processing it. Raw sewage would be jealous of the smell. I gave up on holding my breath and started struggling in my bonds in an attempt to try to get away from Evan's ass, but my struggles were in vain. Of course, Evan and Matt found this hilarious.

M: "I don't think he appreciates the stench of your special brew."

E: "Yeah he really seems to be struggling with it."

M: "I guess that means there's only one thing to do..."

E: "Way ahead of you!"

PPPPRTPRTPRPTRPTRPPPPPP

This one was louder and longer. It felt like my skull was rattling. How could they think this was funny? How could Evan do this to me? It felt like the stench of his gas was fully consuming me. I couldn't imagine how this could get any worse, but apparently Matt had other ideas.

M: "Is it just me, or does it feel like he's not fully appreciating your farts?"

E: "What do you mean? You can't possibly expect him to enjoy this."

M: "Maybe not. I just think that since you worked up all this gas for him, he should really be savoring it. None of this holding his breath business or taking shallow breaths to avoid it."

E: "How could we possibly get him to savor my farts?"

M: "Well...what if I tickle him? Then you can blast him and he'll have no choice but to literally huff your gas."

I was surprised not to hear Evan immediately reject this idea. Instead, it seemed like he was actually considering it. I started to aggressively protest, hoping that I could get through to Evan and make him see that this was crazy. However, evidently he couldn't pass up on an opportunity to mess with me more and decided to intentionally misinterpret my pleas.

E: "I appreciate you weighing in Jeff. I was going to say that you had enough and that we should let you go. But it sounds like you're begging us to go ahead with Matt's idea. Don't you agree Matt?"

M: "Oh yeah, it sounds like he's saying that he really wants to get aquatinted with your gas."

E: "Kind of weird Jeff, but if that's what you want we can definitely do that for you. Just know, that if we do this I'm not gonna hold back at all."

I struggled and screamed as much as I could in order to try to let them know I wasn't okay with this. It was no use though. They were clearly enjoying this too much.

E: "Okay, but remember you asked for this..."

Thus began one of the worst experiences of my life. True to his word, Evan did not hold back. He let out a constant barrage of farts and it felt like each one smelled worse than the last. Thanks to Matt's relentless tickling attack on my feet, I was forced to sniff pretty much all of Evan's gas. And, of course, throughout the entire ordeal my face stayed firmly planted in Evan's ass with my nose right at the source. I felt like my brain was melting. Evan's gas was all I could think of - I couldn't fully comprehend just how much of it I had inhaled. I started to forget that fresh air was even a thing. Finally, after what seemed like hours (but realistically was probably only 10 minutes), there was a light at the end of the tunnel.

E: "Alright, that was pretty funny but I think he's had enough."

M: "Aww, come on man this is too good. We could keep this up forever and he wouldn't be able to do anything to stop us.”

E: "Nah, enough is enough. After all, we don't want to permanently destroy his nose."

Evan laughed at his joke, but after what I had been through I wasn't sure if my nose would ever be the same again. If nothing else, I was definitely a lot more familiar with my best friend’s gas than I ever wanted to be. Evan went to get up, but Matt stopped him.

M: "Okay fine, we can call it quits, but one more thing first. Do you still have any gas left in the tank?"

E: "Yeah...but I really think we should let him up now. He's been down there for a while and this was just supposed to be a prank, not actual torture."

Note to self: Evan and I have very different definitions of what constitutes torture.

M: "Totally fair. We can definitely let him up in a minute, I just think we need a grand finale to help seal the deal and ensure this experience is something he'll never forget."

If I could talk, I would say that we're already wayyyyy past that point, but unfortunately fate prevented me from being the voice of reason. Also, couldn't they have this conversation with Evan standing up? Why was he still sitting on my face? Yeah he wasn't currently farting, but I was still being forced to sniff the remnants of his previous farts that had absorbed into his clothes. And he just said he's still feeling gassy, so I was anxious to get him off of me before anymore of his gas found it's way into my nose. Especially since it sounded like Matt was scheming again...

M: "As a final salvo, I think he should have to sniff a couple unfiltered farts from you."

E: "What do you mean?"

M: "I mean full on bareass. No board shorts and no boxers."

My heart skipped a beat. I can't believe Matt would come up with something so disturbing. There must be something genuinely wrong with him. I was about to freak out again, but then it dawned on me. There's no way Evan would go through with this. Sure he's not shy about things like burps and farts, but he's super reserved when it comes to his body. He won't even walk around the apartment in a towel - he always changes in the bathroom when he showers to avoid any accidental exposure. Same when we go to the campus pool, he puts on his bathing suit before we leave to avoid changing in the locker room. There's no way he'd feel comfortable showing off his bare ass. I was about to get in my first win against Matt. The excitement from that realization almost made up for what I just went through. Ok, it actually wasn't even close, but I was still happy about this small victory I was about to be handed.

E: "Ew, no way man! You know I don't like exposing myself and besides shoving his face in my bare ass seems super unsanitary."

M: "Aww come on! It would only be for a few a seconds. One and done!"

E: "I said no! Stop trying to push me man!"

M: "Wow okay. Guess Jeff's not the only one here who's a prude."

E: "You can't be serious. I just ripped ass all over his face. I'm still sitting on his face as we speak. How can you even say I'm a prude?"

M: "Because you're too afraid to reveal your bare ass for a second just for a prank. Haven't you ever heard of mooning? People do it all the time!"

E: "Why are you pushing so hard on this?"

This argument was music to my ears. I could tell Evan was getting pretty frustrated. Now if only he would stand up...

M: "Look man. You need to remember the main reason we're doing this. Yeah it's really funny, but the whole point is to help Jeff lighten up and break barriers. Before today, he wouldn't dream of putting his face anywhere near someone's ass, but now you've been sitting on it for almost a full half hour. Before today, you couldn't even fart near him and now he's literally huffed your gas directly from the source. If he takes some bareass farts from you, think of how high that would set his tolerance. You'd really be doing him a favor."

E: "I don't know. That all sounds pretty stupid."

I'm not sure where Matt was getting this twisted logic from, but Evan didn't sound as frustrated as he did a moment ago. Was this actually working? There's no way...

M: "It at least makes a little bit of sense. If you get it over with real quick, then it will be done and I'll stop nagging you about it. Come on man! Do it, you won't!"

My heart sank. I can't believe Matt went there. As I said, Evan's not one to back down from a challenge. The phrase "Do it, you won't" is like his kryptonite. I've used it on him plenty of times. He almost always follows through just to prove that he's not a wimp and can do the thing in question. But surely this was a bridge too far, right? After a bit of hesitation, I got my answer...

E: ".......Fine. Okay, I'll do it. But you have to look away and Jeff has to close his eyes. He may have to smell my ass, but that doesn't mean either of you have to see me naked."

M: "Really dude? You're not gonna be naked. It's just gonna be your ass."

E: "You want me to do this, we're gonna do it on my terms."

M: "Alright, fair enough. Let's do it."

I started to struggle and complain again, but Matt wasn't having it.

M: "Enough! I'm tired of your whining. We're doing this and there's nothing you can do about it. So just shut up and take it."

Evan finally stood up, but I knew this ordeal wasn't over yet. He put his hands on the waist of his board shorts.

E: "Okay, Jeff close your eyes and Matt turn around."

Evan looked at us to ensure we complied. I saw Matt turn around. I figured if I kept my eyes open, maybe he wouldn't go through with it.

E: "Come on, close your eyes so we can get this over with."

M: "Jeff if you're gonna be a dick about this and make Evan uncomfortable, then we'll just have him keep his clothes on, sit on your face, and blast you for the rest of the day. Is that what you want?"

Wow, as if I'm somehow the one in the wrong here. But that's definitely not what I wanted. I also didn't want me face shoved in his bare ass though. Still, I wanted this to be over as fast as possible and avoid prolonging it, so I reluctantly complied. I started to brace myself for what was about to happen, but Matt had other plans. All of the sudden, I felt fingers on each of my eyelids and my eyes were pried open. He gave me a look that told me I'd regret it if I said anything so I remained quiet. Unlike the first time Evan sat on my face, he didn't look back at me this time. I guess he was a little embarrassed by what he was about to do and didn't want to see my face. This meant that he was completely unaware of Matt's latest scheme. Interestingly enough, even though he was holding my eyes open, Matt continued facing away from Evan. I guess even though he was determined to make sure I got to see Evan's ass in all its glory, he had no desire to see it himself. Without any fanfare, Evan slowly lowered the back of his board shorts and boxers, and there it was: his bare ass. He definitely had quite the bubble butt. Aside from a thin layer of fuzz, his ass was mostly hairless.

M: "Don't forget to spread your cheeks so you can get him in their nice and deep."

Evan complied. His crack was slightly hairier than his cheeks and his asshole was now staring back at me. Then, he started to sit down. This seemed impossible on today of all days, but I really felt that I had sunk to a new low. When Matt heard Evan start to sit, he removed his fingers from my eyelids. I closed my eyes but the damage was done. I couldn't believe I'd been forced to see my best friend's ass and asshole against both our wills. The image would be forever burned into my brain and no one could take this moment back for me. I was temporarily distracted though when I felt Evan settle onto my face. He let go of his cheeks and they closed around mine. My nose was touching his asshole.

E: "I don't like this. I can feel his nose touching my hole."

M: "Bet it's not great on his end either. Jeff, do me a favor and take a nice big sniff of Evan's asshole."

I told him that wasn't gonna happen as best I could through the gag. He seemed to get the message.

M: "Do it or I'll press down on Evan's shoulders and send you even deeper into his ass."

I definitely didn't want that to happen. My nose was already touching his asshole, I didn't need to be any deeper. So, I gave in and took a big sniff. The minute I did, I regretted it. Unsurprisingly, it smelled like shit. I started gagging and struggling. Matt laughed.

M: "Yeah, I bet it smells pretty bad down there. Sucks to be you!"

E: "Could we get this over with already?"

M: "Ok yeah, sure. Now Jeff, here's how this is gonna work. You're gonna breathe out fully and then I'm gonna count backwards from five. When I get to one, Evan's gonna let rip and you're gonna start inhaling as hard as you can. And you better keep inhaling for the full duration of the fart. And before you start freaking out again, you should know that I took some pics of Evan sitting on your face before when he still had his clothes on. If you refuse to do this, I will post those pics online and tell everyone you begged to sniff Evan's farts. Evan will back me up, so no one will believe you if you try to say I'm lying. Right Evan?”

I tried to plead with Evan as best I could.

E: “Sorry Jeff. I feel like this is super weird for both of us, but you're just gonna have to do it. You’ve made me do some gross things in the past - remember when you dared me to eat that box of freeze dried crickets? Think of this as payback for that. I know it's not fully equivalent, but we all have to do things we don't wanna do from time to time. Besides, I have a real whopper brewing right now and I kind of want you to take it.”

M: “Then it's settled. Deep breath out Jeff.”

Feeling like I had no other choice, I did what I was told.

M: “Ok, ready? Breathe in on one. 5…4…3…2…1…”

PRBTPPPTBTPPRTBTPBTRPPBTssssssssss

Evan was right. This one was a whopper. I felt his asshole vibrating against my nose. I lost count of how long it lasted…but I do know it ended with a silent his. And I inhaled the whole thing. As soon as I finished inhaling, my body started shaking. This was by far the worst thing I had ever experienced. I felt defiled. Matt was besides himself with laughter and even Evan was cracking up a bit.

M: “Dude that was sick! I can't believe he just huffed a fart out of your bare asshole.”

E: “Yeah that was definitely disgusting. Are we done now?”

M: “One more and then we let him up. Sound good?”

E: “Fineeeee.”

I was numb at this point and just ready for this whole thing to be over. What's one more fart? It's not like it can be any worse than anything I'd already endured. Unfortunately, I spoke to soon. I should have known better than to tempt fate. This time, when Evan farted, we both got more than we bargained for and I felt a little something squirt out onto my nose. That's right, this last fart was wet. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. I was done. I immediately started convulsing and going back and forth between screaming and gagging. Evan immediately realized what happened too. He jumped up, pulled up his shorts and boxers to cover his ass, and ran to the bathroom. Matt turned around and looked confused. He called out to Evan in the bathroom.

M: “What happened?”

E: “I accidentally sharted…”

M: “You sharted on his nose? That's the best thing I ever heard!”

Evan returned from the bathroom.

E: “Seriously dude? I can't believe that happened.”

M: “Are you sure it was a shart?”

E: “Dude, I'm telling you that fart was wet.”

M: “I know, but look at his face. There's nothing on his nose. It's not brown.”

E: “Really? That's odd, when I went to clean up in the bathroom, the toilet paper was clean too…”

M: “Damn, that means it wasn't a shart then, just a wet fart. Probably just sweat or generic ass juice.”

E: “Well that's a relief!”

M: “Yeah I guess…”

E: “Why do you sound disappointed? You actually would have preferred if I did shart on him?”

M: “Yeah man. That would have been fucking hilarious! Icing on the cake.”

E: “You're sick man! Whatever let's just get this tape off him. This has gone far enough!”

Right as Evan was about to start untaping me, his phone vibrated.

E: “Damn it! I totally forgot that I committed to meeting my lab partner today to finish our physics lab.”

M: “Can't it wait?”

E: “I wish, but today's the only day we both have free to work on it before it's due. Sorry to do this to you guys, but I really need to get this done. Can you take care of freeing him?”

M: “Yeah sure!”

E: “Ok cool. Thanks for being such a good sport Jeff. Once you're out you can get cleaned up and then we can hang later and put this whole thing behind us. I'll be back in a few hours.”

And with that Evan left and I was alone with Matt.

M: “Well I think we both know I have no intention of letting you go now that Evan's gone. Not when your face looks so comfy. Plus, I ate Taco Bell too and haven't had a chance to release my gas.”

I tried to tell him off but it wasn't very effective.

M: “Thanks for reminding me. We need to do something about your gag. Your pathetic complaining is getting annoying.”

Matt walked away and came back later with something in his hand.

M: “Earlier when we decided to gag you, I wanted to stuff something in your mouth. Evan thought that was too far so we just used tape and left your mouth empty. But…Evan's not here now and I think I found the perfect thing. This sock was buried in Evan's hamper and smells pretty gnarly. Here take a whiff.”

He turned it inside out and pressed it against my nose. I hesitantly took a whiff and it smelled awful - like old cheese. Matt was very amused by my reaction.

M: “Yeah it's pretty bad isn't it. Bet it tastes worse…”

With that he ripped the tape off my mouth and I breathed through my mouth for the first time in ages. I knew I had to reason with him.”

J: “Please Matt, can't you just let me go? Haven't I suffered enough?”

M: “No chance! I'm not gonna waste this prime opportunity.”

J: “But…why? Why are you doing this to me?”

M: “Because I can. And because it's fucking funny. Now enough talking, open wide and get ready to taste Evan's gross sock!”

I clamped my mouth shut but Matt was unphased. He simply pinched my nostrils shut. Soon my need for air overcame me and I had to open my mouth to breathe. As soon as that happened, Matt shoved the inside-out sock in my mouth and taped it shut again. Evan's sock tasted awful. This was the worst! In one day I not only got more acquainted with his ass than I ever could have imagined but I also learned what his foot tastes like. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to look at him the same way again.

M: “Yeah suck on that sock. I bet it tastes awful! Now that that's taken care of, it's time to get down to business. I'm not as nice as Evan, so I hope you're ready for a rough ride.”

Without any further ado, Matt pulled down the back of his board shorts and boxers and slammed his bare ass onto my face. He spread his cheeks and wiggled around to get me as deep as possible. My nose actually slipped inside his asshole. The smell was unbearable. His ass was hairier than Evan's and smelled stronger too.

M: “Perfect. Got you right where I want you. The Taco Bell is hitting hard, so you're in for a good time!”

He started farting nonstop. I was in hell. This torture went on for so long that I lost track of time. Apparently Matt did too, because when Evan got back a few hours later, Matt was still sitting on my face. Evan was pissed and they got into a heated argument. Evan let me go and I slinked away and took the longest shower of my life.

After I got out, Evan apologized profusely to me. He said he knows they took things too far and that if I was willing to forgive him, he'd never do anything like this again and go back to holding in his farts around me. Today aside, Evan was genuinely a good friend and I knew this whole thing was mostly Matt's fault. So, I decided to forgive him. I also told him that he didn't have to hold in his gas around me anymore. After what I went through today, I could tolerate the occasional fart here and there as long as my face was nowhere near his ass when it happened.

I asked where Matt was and apparently he decided to go back to his dorm after their argument. Him and Evan did eventually make up, but he never apologized for what he put me through. I was happy to have things relatively go back to normal with Evan though. Sure I noticed his ass a lot more than I used to. And anytime he did fart, the smell brought back flashbacks of this awful day. But the worst was behind me now…or so I thought. Turns out that Matt wasn't done with me. He had gotten a taste of using Evan to torture me and was hungry for more. I didn't know it now, but Matt was going to make sure that I was more familiar with my best friend's body than any one person should be. If I thought Evan's farts were bad, I had another thing coming…

[worflesbian]

reverse unpopular opinion..... worf as a father/his relationship with alexander :)

ZOE. you knew exactly what you were doing sending this to me thank you SO much <3

i genuinely believe that worf and alexander's relationship is a really strong storyline and one of the best examples of a less-than-perfect parent/child dynamic in star trek. i've talked a lot about how worf was put in an incredibly difficult position suddenly becoming a single parent in early next gen, and i think his various ensuing failures towards alexander are realistic and accurate to his situation, and give insight into his flaws as a character (i.e. the stuff of compelling tv). the fact that worf seeks deanna's help throughout the following seasons is a crucial indication that he doesn't want to be failing his son the way he is, but the way he often ignores or struggles to follow her advice is, as mentioned, a realistic depiction of how people don't change overnight. by the end of next gen, episodes like firstborn show how much worf has changed for the better as a parent -- he's not perfect, but he's trying, and over the years it's paying off. and i Love how painfully true to life that is!!

this is why i used to resent that alexander was so absent from ds9 - i felt like things were finally looking up for their relationship at the end of next gen, and then the ds9 writers wrote alexander out again. however, i actually just rewatched way of the warrior this morning and it kind of changed my mind when miles asks about alexander and worf says that he's "much happier living with his grandparents on earth" - it's the kind of line that seems innocuous but has SO many implications when you dig into it! worf doesn't realise that he's fucking up by abandoning his son because he genuienly believes that alexander is happiest when he's not with worf. it's the root of worf's parenting struggles from the start: he's so scared of failing that he can't bring himself to confront the ways he's actually failing. which again is painfully true to life!

i think the thing i love most about their relationship is alexander's return in sons and daughters. i've talked a lot about that episode but i just can't think of another time on star trek where they've shown a child confront their parent with their failings and how awfully they've hurt them and show not only the process of that parent realising what they've done, but the genuine apology and reconciliation that follows. i think alexander gets the kind of admission of guilt and acceptance of consequence from worf that odo deserved, but could never realistically get, from dr mora, or julian from richard and amsha bashir. i love it because it shouldn't be on alexander to step up and confront his father, but a lot of things have happened to the both of them that shouldn't have, and it's so important to me that they show it get messy, that they show worf really lashing out at his own son, before they show the reconciliation. that combination of real hurt and real accountability is what makes them, in my opinion, the best depiction of this kind of dynamic in any trek show i've seen.

[germananon]

I've done some local event organising, and since it's been a bit of a steep learning curve and since there's always posts here encouraging women to go out and do stuff in person, I figured I'd share a bit of the process and the lessons learned. It's easy to say that if the kind of feminist event you want to see doesn't exist around you, you should start it yourself, but that can be quite challenging if you've never done something like it before! So maybe this will be helpful for some women.

First of all you need a location. Options that could work for you, depending on what there is around you and what you want to do: women's centres, community spaces where you can rent or have individual rooms, public parcs, or the rentable backroom of a bar. If you don't mind it or are desperate, some churches also let you use their parish halls for gatherings. Ideally it should be something where you can kick people (men) out, so we prefer cheap rentable backrooms and community spaces over outside or public ones. You're also less likely to be interrupted, heckled or aggressed against that way, which can be a real concern depending on topic and place. If you want to "just" host a discussion, having a room and a topic and ideally a moderator is pretty much all the prerequisite you need. Picking a topic that's currently relevant can generate more interest, but I was surprised by how many women also show up to more theory-focused things. If you want to do a presentation or a reading, you probably need a bit more setup. In my experience, an hour is the minimum amount of time you should arrive early for tech testing if you haven't used the equipment in that place before, but you might be better at tech than me and you don't need that long every time. You should also clear your equipment with the owners of the space you're using beforehand. If you want to record your events, you (probably, depending on local law) need permission from everyone who will be seen or heard before uploading it anywhere, and you need even more setup. To get women to come, you'll also want to advertise your event, but depending on what you're doing, you might want to be selective about that. If you're holding a protest, just putting it on social media could be an option (but also could invite counterprotesting depending on topic and place). Or to filter the audience a bit more, you can spread it by word of mouth or, if you don't have a network yet, you can invite someone who does and ask them to help you advertise. The invitation should have the time and date, and depending on safety concerns, either the place or how to register. It should also say what the event is about and what kind of event it is (discussion about motherhood/protest against a law/reading from a book about women's lives in a different country/etc). Something that happened to us when we started out was that we put the place on the invitation and opposing activists harassed the venue into disinviting us, sometimes for ideological reasons and sometimes for safety ones. In that case it's better to only give the place out to people who registered and relatively close to the event, but this way some women will not be able to attend or will be scared off. It's a bit of a balancing act. What worked well for us was to rent bar backrooms, because a lot of the time so long as we pay the room rent and buy drinks, they don't really care what exactly we're talking about back there. Also if you're in a larger city, there might be affordable options for renting small event spaces by the hour. Some community centres offer rooms for free, but they also often filter which political positions they allow and which not, so that's somewhat case by case. Also, don't be discouraged if not a lot of women show up at first! It's really frustrating to pour hours of work into an event only for there to be six women as the audience, but especially if you make the events somewhat regular, word will get around. And listen to feedback if anyone gives it. When starting out, everything seems really scary, but it's a lot more doable than it looks and you really do grow into it.

[captainhysunstuff]

I think that was the first time I've seen you draw any of the Wammy boys, and it makes me want to know your headcanons for them, either inside our universe or just in general.

Henh, I draw them from time to time. Probably not in the last few months, but... every once in a while~. ^__^U Oh boy, for as long as I've been in this fandom, I don't think I've ever really put my thoughts/headcanons about them into solid words before. I'll try to make this not a disorganized mess:

Mello

I feel like his rivalry with Near gives him a sense of purpose. A goal to strive for. Whenever he has a set goal, he goes for it 120%. That try hard attitude is exactly what holds him back though. Being so laser focused may stress him out and cause him to overlook things and make more mistakes or ignore simpler solutions. He forgets to take breaks, and his fatigue creates more problems, particularly with schoolwork.

We only get one glimpse of him "off the clock" where he's playing soccer/football with his classmates (and laughs after clocking someone in the head with the ball, lol). That one instance tells me that he might have a slightly mean sense of humor (he's also seen pulling some kid's hair and Roger makes him let go of them), but of course the kid was okay and he knew it. If he had actually seriously hurt someone while joking around, I'm not sure if he'd just laugh it off. Probably try to say it wasn't a big deal, but still keep an ear out to make sure so-and-so was really okay. Very tsundere. I may be giving canon!Mello too much credit, lol. Although, he does express that he didn't want to kill Soichiro in the end. The kidnappings were horrible scare tactics, but he made sure that they would be returned alive if the demands were met (fuck his mafia crew though, *snort*).

He'd be more openly caring with people he, well, cares about. Matt as an obvious canon example. I think it's very telling that Matt isn't present during the Mafia arc. Mello leaves the orphanage alone, and he doesn't seek Matt out until after his base blows up. So, he strikes me as someone who wants to deal with his own problems by himself and not drag anyone he cares about into his personal drama. The mafia and kidnappees are just tools to him, but anyone close is out of the question unless the situation is dire. Matt was probably the only person he could reliably contact at that point (he does contact and crash at Lidner's place for a while, but surely he had to have recovered somewhere after the blast before he could get back into the action). How he expresses regret over Matt dying while being part of his plan emphasizes this sentiment.

A character I really associate him with is Amethyst from Steven Universe, especially if I want to think of how he'd be without the pressure of that rivalry, and even with it. Amethyst has the kind of humor that can come off as callous that I'd think Mello would have. What really shines for me is their shared inferiority complex and how they deal with them. I see a lot of Mello's view on his rivalry with Near during Amethyst's arc concerning her conflicts with Jasper. Neglecting personal time to have fun because the complex is weighing her down and making her try harder and become a more toxic person to be around ("Who has time for any of that when Jasper is out there?!"). Her anguish at doing so much to get better and it never being enough to get what she wants ("I can't win... No matter what I do, no matter how hard I work..."). The whole episode "Reformed" where Amethyst keeps trying to make a form that Garnet (whom I associate with L) would approve of by comparing herself to and emulating other gems. Telling people to "stay out of it" when they try to interfere or stop her from doing something drastic. The difference being that she gets positive results when she finally opens up and allows people to help her achieve her goals and not hyperfixate anymore. By the time Mello finally reaches out for help and realizes that he needs to put aside his animosity towards Near to ultimately stop Kira, it's essentially too late for a happy ending.

The only aspect where this character comparison falls apart a bit is with how lazy Amethyst can be (not bubbling the Desert Glass pillow despite living right next to a sandy beach, not being trusted to catch a monster hiding in her room). However, my counterargument is that we don't really see Mello in his downtime outside of that soccer game just chilling. Also, I'd like to reference L's "monster speech" about studying even though they don't really care about grades. It shows Near there, but I think it applies to all three of them, and Mello's only trying so hard specifically to beat Near first and foremost, not because he wants to study and get smarter for a future career ("All that practice stuff is no fun.").

Matt

Hmm... He's a malleable character to me, and that's pretty cool. He seems like a "go with the flow" kinda guy. Tell him to do something, and he'll be like, "Yeah, sure. Let me save my game first." I sort of accept whatever the fandom wants him to be in the moment, no matter what it is. The fact that he's the third smartest at Wammy's tells me that he's an effortlessly smart guy. Maybe he's good at memorization and can visually remember the answers to test questions without having to study that hard (like how I was at school, lol). Maybe not come up with the answer on the spot, but if you put something in front of him, he could go, "Oh, right," and correctly answer it. He has a little characterization in the manga, but I only just recently finished reading it, his scenes included. He really only seems to be part of the Kira case to help Mello and that's it. He doesn't seem too interested in the case itself, but Mello asked for his help, and he said, "Sure, dude. I'll try." Thus, it's why we see him gripe about how much work Mello's making him do, getting sidetracked by how cute Misa is, and speculating whether or not Mogi's her boyfriend, lol. Just a chill dude overall.

His chillness makes me think that ordinarily he'd keep to himself. Probably not to the extent that Near does, but if left alone, he is more than happy staying alone. He minds his own business, thus why he doesn't dissuade Mello from his rivalry or stop him from leaving Wammy's House (not that anyone could stop Mello from doing anything). But if someone extends an invitation, he'll accept it and try his best.

Also, "Mail" is pronounced "Mile." According to the Wiki, the katakana is written as "ma-i-ru." If it was "mail," it would be "me-i-ru" or "me--ru" I believe (henh, the his name would be close to Mel). Correct me if I'm wrong, but it's "mile" for me, and it ain't changin'.

Near

The first phrase I think of whenever I think of Near is "little shit~." XD I say that in an entirely affectionate way of course. Although, that "little shit" attitude only comes out when he's actively engaged with someone else. Not necessarily hostile, but definitely a little condescending, and it's very easy for him to rub people the wrong way. Perhaps he knows he has this effect on people, either intentionally or not, and this is why he keeps to himself and declines invitations to hang out? He probably doesn't even like being around people (he judges people very harshly in the manga). Maybe even mildly misanthropic. He might resent that he's co-dependent and has to rely on people on the daily when he gets older and leaves Wammy's House.

The reason he has the best grades at Wammy's is because he can fully focus on the tests and assignments he takes and doesn't make many technical mistakes. Makes me wonder if he's a slow test taker or exactly a mid-speed test taker? Or maybe he's effortlessly fast? Then, Mello wants to be fast, too, and that causes Mello to make more mistakes due to rushing when he could probably get better grades if he took his time?

It's very hard for me to talk about Near without bringing Mello into the picture. Their rivalry is such a focal point with their characters in the story. The rivalry is almost completely one sided in my opinion, but Near probably encourages it because he thinks Mello needs that goal. So, every once in a while, he'll make remark or do something that will purposely annoy Mello, reigniting that fire under his ass to make Near eat his dust. In the harsh judgment vein, he believes Mello's identity has been shaped around the competition and that he'd be lost without it. Kind of like how Near canonically becomes a bit despondent after the Kira case ends: taking the L mantle, but just going through the motions. Detective work doesn't seem like his passion; he was just groomed for it and is good at it. He'd be more than content to just lie around, making card castles and play single-player games all day. Maybe an occasional visit from respected company, but they'd better leave in a timely manner or be relatively unobtrusive, lol.

EDIT: Also worth mentioning, I have a ridiculous headcanon where Near has psychic powers in the anime. Thank the anime’s short hand in how he singles out Mikami as X-Kira by making his eyes glow and the room spin. I stand by that he blew up a guy’s head with his mind in the Re:Light special. Hey, if Beyond Birthday being born with shinigami eyes is canon, why not humans with psychic powers? Wammy’s is good at finding these eccentricities~.

Mello and Near's Tactics

I really do love how the narrative intention seemed to be that after Light defeated L, L was essentially split into two people with those two extremes amplified to 11. It creates a pincer attack around Light: Mello aggressively hitting the Task Force from the outside, putting traumatic emotional stress on them, and Near poking and prodding away from the inside trying to gradually create a mutiny against Light while acting like he's working alongside them. Mello brings the fear and pressure (and suspense in that he's just floating around doing who knows what after the raid), and Near seeds the doubt and inner unrest. When mashed together, they wouldn't make L exactly, but a being/team more effective and terrifying than L (surpass him together, indeed). Lord help their Watari, lol.

--

I suppose those are my thoughts on the main three in a decently sized nutshell. Feel free to say I'm wrong or unfounded. I'm no expert with these characters, so hopefully my headcanons and interpretations don't piss anyone off too much. ^__^

[ebonysplendor]

I'm a Copycat Review 👯‍♀️

TL;DR: Declan is fucking nuts, and if you thinks that's fucking nuts, wait until you figure out the MC's back story because it's also, you guessed it, fucking nuts ... fuck.

Game Link: https://drcllemlon.itch.io/im-a-copycat

Notable Features: Side-image sprites, named MC, she/her MC, Yandere LI Spiciness: 1/5 -- Pretty wholesome, for the most part. A sex scene was implied and there's a suggestive-ish cg, but...meh, super tame LI Red Flags: 3.5/5 -- Gaslighter, animal abuse, stuck in the past, physically abusive

Want to know more? Well, let's get into it!

Yeah, I don't know why I dropped the "f" bomb so many times...? Well, anyways...

Okay, so, excitingly enough, this was actually a requested game! Not only was it requested, but it was requested by the dev themselves. Allow me to flex for a singular second or two.

No, like, deadass, can everyone just forget about the game for two seconds and focus on me? Like, I'm actually hype about this! I didn't have to go game hunting! The game hunted for me. THE DEV hunted for ME. I'm just mad excited about that. That being said, if you didn't know you could send me requests, now you know lol.

Anywho, so, the game!

Admittedly, this game was a lot better than initially expected? If you've read my reviews before, you know I'm conceited and want to be absolutely immersed and live out my sick, twisted fantasy by self-inserting. Unfortunately, this game isn't a self-insert, and the start was a lil' slow, not gonna lie, but like once shit started rolling? I no longer cared about the lack of self-insert because lmaooooo it got kinda wild.

There really is something so lit about a game that you're like "...Yeah, I don't think I'm feeling this" or "I don't think I'm going to vibe with this" but then you're suddenly super invested, and you're just sitting there like "What the hell is going on?!". I can honestly say that that was exactly what happened, and gods damn it, am I glad that I stuck around for the madness.

That all being said, I think the intro is long enough. Let's get into the game, because lowkey excited to tell you guys about it. As always, I will give you as much information as possible without actually spoiling it because you just may have to gotta, really, totally play this for yourself

So, boom.

We do the generic wake up in the morning feelin' like PDiddy thing and welcome the day with positivity. After admiring the sky for a little, we notice that there is that good breakfast smell in the air and rush into the kitchen, but not before putting on the glasses that our loving boyfriend always reminds us to wear -- don't wanna trip over any steps or anything like that haha ha... ANYWAYS!

Before we see the breakfast, though, we see the absolute snack that's in front of us. The snack is bae, and the bae's name is Declan. Look at this little cinnamon roll.

To go off topic for a bit, I've seen cuter/more hot LI's but this one got the "adorkably cute" aesthetic pretty good, because he is lol. He's a dorky cute, and frankly, it's fitting.

Anywho, so we exchange our good mornings, eat our breakfast, and help Declan clean, even though he's adamant that we don't have to. I mean, sure, we could've not helped, but what kind of partner doesn't help with household chores?! Nah, we're gonna help the bae! So, we do, and...we get hurt in the process. It hurts, and Declan's freaking out a bit, but we get patched up -- even though we're not bleeding or anything -- and life is all good again.

We get dressed, making sure to wear our super cozy jacket to make sure we don't get cold -- even though, we're never cold but Declan always insists that we are -- and get our day with Declan officially started, but not before this weird little quip happens.

See, Declan gets a call from work, right, and he's trying to explain to them that we still aren't well after our car accident. Apparently, it was pretty bad, and we got some kind of amnesia from it, so Declan took some time off work to get us reacclimated to...well, life, but corporate ain't trying to hear that and told him to bring his ass back into work, like, yesterday. So, Declan somewhat finesses it and is able to get an extra day, but he's super sad that he has to leave us, and the feeling is definitely mutual. No worries though! Why? Because we've still got two days, so why not just make the most of it while he's here with us! Until...he falls ill, that is.

So, us being the amazing girlfriend that we is, we take care of Declan like he's been taking care of us. After a little while, Declan just opts for sleep, and we let him do so. Sleep does help a lot when you're sick, after all!

Tending to ourselves, we try to make ourselves a fat bowl of totally not Lucky Charms, but Luck Jewels -- totally different, and not at all the same, so don't argue with or "@" me. Whether we're eating knock off Lucky Charms or a totally different cereal doesn't matter though because there's not really any of it left except the dust, not to mention we totally wrecked the shelf while trying to find something else to eat.

This is a bit of a problem because we don't have a screwdriver to fix the shelf, and we're still damned hungry! We don't really have any choice but to go to the store, but for some reason, Declan's really weird about us leaving the house since we're still struggling with amnesia and remembering how certain things work, let alone how to actually do it properly or so he tells us. So, we put on a brave face, get dressed, take some money from his wallet, and head on out!

While scoping out the supermarket, we make note of these really bomb cupcakes in the window of a bakery and make a note to visit another day, but right now, we're on a mission, and we must stay focused, my bois! As planned, we get in there, get our cereal and a screwdriver. Okay! So far so good! Well, our plan kind've diverged when we run into this girl, and...huh...

She damn sure looks...

...a lot like us. More than a lot, actually. She's pretty much an exact copy. Well, that's...slightly uncomfortable and extremely confusing.

Clearly, she's thinking the same thing about us because she kind've rushes out before we can think any more about it or even say anything to her about it. We decide to follow suit and rush home ourselves to fix the shelf and finally eat something! We messed up a little though because we had gotten hurt -- again -- and Declan isn't exactly wearing glasses for no reason; he immediately noticed. We handle it pretty well though through some innocence and tears, and Declan drops the topic as soon as it comes up. Everything is gucci, again, and we're able to move on with our day and go to bed like normal.

The next day rolls around, Declan goes to work, and we officially have the house to ourself and our trusted stuffed companion, Bruce. After some debate, we decide that today is the day we could go to that Bakery that we saw and get some of those cupcakes that we saw in the window. When we get there, something really odd happens.

The guy who works in the bakery is talking to us like he knows us, even going as far as to mention our dad. He starts trying to follow up with us and mentioned stuff about a break up, and this evil man, and someone named Mittens and...what the hell is this guy talking about?

So, of course, we're just standing there, because we came in for cupcakes, and this man just comes out of the woodwork with all this...information, and we don't know how to respond to any of it, but here's the even wilder part. Remember that doppelgänger we had saw yesterday? She's ends up coming into the bakery during all of this, and immediately, the man takes note of his mistake and allows us to go on our way. Like...what the hell was that?

Whatever though, we eat some of our cupcakes, hide the rest when Declan comes home, skip dinner (for obvious reasons), and get to bed. Fast forwarding a bit, we end up leaving out again, and we're feeling a bit adventurous and decide to buy some hair dye to color our hair like the girl that we saw because...well, we thought it was super pretty, and we wanted to be pretty, too, so it felt like the right thing to do lol. It...didn't come out well.

Like, at all. Aside from the absolute disaster that our hair came out to be, we have an even bigger worry: How is Declan going to react when he sees us?

Yeah, that's...what I thought.

Well, now...this is damned embarrassing, but still, Declan is our sweet and loving boyfriend! He loves us! Surely he wouldn't think it silly of us to want to dye our hair. Surely he wouldn't make fun of us for failing so miserably. Surely he wouldn't get angry that we snuck out to buy the hair dye. Surely he wouldn't get angry when he figures out that this wasn't our first time sneaking out. Surely he wouldn't lash out and turn into someone he isn't...

Surely not.

And that's all I'm going to tell you! Aht, aht! Don't make that face! You know that I (usually) never tell you about how a visual novel ends! You gots to play it for yourself if you want to know how it ends, and trust me, you're going to want to know. Just a tip, this isn't even the "true" ending, and believe me when I say...

It gets pretty wild.

Okay, so this game is actually pretty good!

Y'all know I wouldn't lie to you, even if a dev specifically asks me to review their game, and let me tell you, I was not feeling it at first. I honestly truly wasn't. The start was kinda slow, there was a side-sprite of the MC, and there wasn't an option to put your own name in. I was pretty bummed because one of the main things for me is the option to self-insert, so for me, the game was kinda doomed from the start, and I probably wouldn't have downloaded it if I was just scrolling along and saw this game on my own, but listeeeeeen.

The plot itself, while it's nothing super innovative or anything, it was pretty damn solid. I really want to tell you the specifics but it would literally ruin the game as a whole. Honestly, from the title and just what I told you, you can probably gather what's going on, but how everything goes down and the information that we find out and ultimately how it all ends is a bit wild.

It's not a super choice heavy game, but the choices that are available -- and pay attention because this is about to be a "pro not really pro but something I think would be helpful to point out" tip! -- are essentially options that dictate how the second half of the story goes and what points you to the "bad" ending, the "good" ending, and the "true" ending, so keep that in mind.

The only gripe I have about the game is that the title is kind've a dead giveaway as to what's going on, especially when you play through like the first couple "scenes" or so of the game. Other than that, it's a pretty good read! It definitely kept me interested despite it being more "novely" (if you read my other review, that's a word I use to describe visual novels that have a more linear story line). Not to mention, the art style was pretty damn adorbs, and I liked that there was a lot of different CGs. I haven't run across a visual novel yet that's had as many CGs as this one has, so that was definitely a welcomed change because...well, I like art/drawings lol. Like, look at some of these images!

Ugh, the amount of CGs just scratched my brain so correctly. I am a visual novel CG slut, I tell ya. Anytime there's a CG in a visual novel? I'm all over that shit. I love CGs. CGs for life. CGs forever.

Okay, that's enough gushing about the CGs...

ANYWAYS! That is my review of the game! Again, I thought it was a pretty solid read, and I recommend! It's free, so, what have you got to waste other than time? As per usual, I provide a link at the top, bottom, and within the review, and it is right here. Don't be shy! Go ahead click it, download it, play it, and share your thoughts on the dev's game page! Send them those lovely words of reassurance to let them know "Hey you! I liked your game, and I think you should make more!". As always, donations are super helpful as well, and if you want to be extra fancy, here is a link to the dev's tumblr page!

All righty! That's all from me this time around! Drink water, don't be dumb, and hope to see you around~!

I'm a Copycat

[alovelyburn]

Do you think the only thing that keeps Griffith and Guts so close together is their miscommunication? I read someone’s tags about them that basically were saying that if they worked pass their issues they would just find out they are completely incompatible and that’s why they never work as a pair in other AUs. I can’t stop thinking about it. Thoughts?

I'm pretty sure I saw that tag while I was bored browsing one day, and my reaction was the same then as it is now - what a weird take.

Okay we're going to address this in two parts - the fanfic/AU thing and the canon thing.

First up! Fanfic/fandom.

The claim that their apparent incompatibility is why they don't work out in AUs is already kind of odd - first of all what AUs are they reading? Because obviously they must mean fanfiction but if they don't think any Berserk fanfic ends with a happy ending for them they must not be reading a lot of Berserk fanfic? I mean I don't read a lot of fanfic and I've run into plenty of happy ending AUs.

But even more than that, speaking as someone who seemingly is incapable of writing a happy ending for them, I think any dearth of happy endings has more to do with the kind of person that tends to gravitate to G/G, really - or rather the tastes of said people - than it has to do with any like inherent incompatibility between their personalities. Because it's not exactly a happy/healthy relationship, so if you're drawn to it you probably enjoy bittersweet things or dysfunctional things or pain, so you might end up writing bittersweet painful dysfunction.

(Ima write a happy ending one day though I just have to locate an opportunity, lmao.)

Anyway that's the fanfic/fandom/au portion. Now let's talk canon.

I think the way Guts and Griffith's personalities interact, they can be incredibly good for each other or they can be incredibly destructive toward each other. I'll explain why I think that in a second, but basically it's just like, you're never going to get a middle of the road relationship dynamic with them.

So the explanation: they can be good for each other because the things one of them wants is always something the other is wholly capable of giving.

Griffith is plagued with self-doubt and thinks he's a terrible person. He's also incredibly guarded and emotionally locked up - he needs someone he can show himself to, good and bad, who won't turn away or think poorly of him because of the things he's done. Guts is absolutely a person who can do that - he doesn't think the things Griffith has been hating himself for are bad to begin with. He's a confidante, a co-conspirator, a cheerleader, and he sees Griffith's positive qualities in a way that Griffith himself struggles to do. Griffith also needs an outlet from the stress of his position, and no one else makes him laugh or relax the way Guts does. Guts also gets Griffith in touch with his own heart, which he spends a great time trying to suppress.

Guts is plagued with poor self-esteem and an inability to believe in his own worth. He has a hard time conforming himself to behavioral standards imposed by others due to his temper and his willfulness. Most of all he wants somewhere to belong, and for someone he admires and respects to respect and value him - he wants to be seen. And Griffith is absolutely the person who can do that - even before they know each other Griffith breaks his own rules to pursue Guts. Griffith provides a kind of structure to his life that he never was able to manage on his own - and still hasn't - but does so without being overbearing or controlling or taking him for granted. And Griffith, the person Guts admires more than anything or anyone, consistently demonstrates how much he values Guts not only as a soldier but as a person. He's also a package deal with the Hawks, Guts' only real family, and not only does Griffith see him, in a lot of ways Griffith can't see anything but him.

I mean that's just off the top of my head, but basically they are incredibly compatible - even the ways they're different are complementary - Griffith's mind strengthen's Guts' passion and vice versa. If they worked it out they really could do anything - secure a kingdom, sure. Leave it behind? Guts is the only one that Griffith could ever choose over his dream.

But there's also the other side of it - the way their fears reinforce and trigger one another when they make a misstep.

Take the actual canon sequence of events that destroyed everything for example:

Guts overhears Griffith saying some shit that didn't even apply to him to Charlotte, and because he has a hard time believing in his own value and worth, he immediately takes it to heart. He accepts the "fact" of his worthlessness as a given so immediately that he doesn't even bother to ask about it. Not Griffith, not Casca, no one. Instead he upends his entire life to try to address that thing that's bothering him. He doesn't tell Griffith he's leaving probably at least in part because he doesn't think it matters that much, but of course it does matter and that's where Guts' insecurity - the way he withdraws to protect himself - ends up triggering Griffith's self-hatred.

Now because of Griffith's self-loathing, he takes Guts' decision to leave via sneakout as a sign that Guts hates him and can't wait to get away from him. He accepts the "fact" of his repulsiveness as a given so immediately that he doesn't ask for an explanation or anything! He just goes into panic mode.

But because Guts is so insecure, he can't perceive Griffith's reaction as a personal issue and just takes it as a sign that he's still useful as a soldier and Griffith doesn't want to lose a tool. So it just makes him double down.

And his doubling down makes Griffith even more certain that Guts hates him because if he didn't why would he be so calm and sure about leaving?

Basically, once one of them is thrown off and takes an emotionally defensive step back, it triggers the other's insecurities which triggers the first one's insecurities and it just spirals into oblivion. Because if one of them starts the bad ball rolling, its very difficult for the other to be rational enough about it to slow the fall.

And so we can say they're perfectly capable of destroying each other, but we knew that because they do in canon.

But the thing is, it's a roll of the dice. Or more specifically, its a misplayed hand of cards or something, like they had everything they would have needed to win but they just made some missteps. And the reason they ended up making those missteps is... Destiny and Stuff.

But if you take the stringpulling deities out of the picture there's nothing that guarantees that they'd have to mess it up. There's no reason they couldn't turn out just fine.

It's a matter of trying to navigate those landmines long enough for the positive/supportive aspects of their dynamic to kind of wear those down a bit, really.

[lemon-and-lead]

Hi I love your concept of found-family-but-make-it-spooky Maul and Charnel, she's the most interesting star wars OC I've seen in a while!

(edit- I've decided on outfit 3 from the concept sheet for her main outfit and #2 for more formal things)

Aww, thanks! I'm actually kind of blown away by the way people have reacted to her- I've never had an OC get this warm of a welcome! In honor of you sending this ask, here's a few more facts about Charnel:

Maul's trying to be a better master than Sidious was, but isn't exactly sure what that means. He's tentatively trying "positive reinforcement". He's done some research on the holonet and come to the conclusion that dolls are a something that children in Charnel's demographic enjoy, so he got her an expensive porcelain doll imported from Pantora as a reward for her hard work. Maul doesn't exactly know how children are supposed to behave, so he spent a couple of weeks after giving it to her studying her like a bug in an attempt to gauge how well she received it. She named the doll Nova. It's her only companion during the hours when Maul leaves her alone. She's gotten pretty weird and territorial about her.

She has a prosthetic leg because she had to have her original one amputated. After order sixty six, she ended up living alone on the street for a while. She got a minor injury to her shin that ended up getting badly infected. When Maul found her, she was delirious with fever and close to death. He brought her to the doctor that saved her life, but they weren't able to save her leg. She has very mixed feelings about it as a result.

Maul and Charnel have some really weird (and sad) things in common that they manage to connect on. One of their reoccurring conversations is about eating things that aren't food to take the edge off their hunger during periods where they had nothing to eat. They both liked to eat empty fast food wrappers and takeout cartons, and Maul ate part of the owner's manual for the speeder bike he owned in Phantom Menace a few years before the movie. They both tend to keep little stashes of ration bars hidden in unlikely places.

I've decided that Charnel gets her own search tag on my blog. It's #Crimson daughter

[ohgodmyeyes]

thanks for answering my question! 🩷 i would never want to shame people for their kinks even if i don’t understand them (i myself have some strange kinks), and you explained it super well :)

when i say ‘morbid’ and ‘dark’, it’s mostly because all i’ve seen from it is (in the media) real life people having been groomed into it and then they’re stuck being such a heavy weight and it makes them miserable (and also, death feederism). SO i wanted to know if it’s not always like that, that it’s not to be associated with that side of it.

i’m happy to know it’s not always like that, especially as a slightly bigger person myself (and having always been insecure about it), it would break my heart if it’s just a fetishisation of hurting fat people.

so i really appreciated your explanation to know it is not! also, love your fics as well!! and i hope you have a great day 💕

oh wow, thank you for getting back to me! rest assured i didn't feel at all shamed by your question (and i'm thrilled you didn't take offence to my answer).

i actually think you and i largely agree on what constitutes dark & morbid ... because when a relationship based heavily on power dynamics turns abusive or suffers a communication breakdown, the consequences can be pretty catastrophic. no one should ever feel that they "have" to maintain a certain physical attribute to make a relationship work, and dominant partners who encourage real-world dependency have a serious responsibility to uphold. a dom/sub relationship is, functionally, a marriage — with (ideally) all of the obligations and protections that entails.

that being said, i strongly believe that anyone who outright abandons a dependant or disabled partner is a straight-up piece of shit, circumstances notwithstanding. i also think that it shouldn't be as difficult as it currently is for people with mobility issues and health problems to lead dignified lives. it shouldn't matter how or why someone needs that kind of help, just that they get it when they need it.

the most unique, enticing, interesting, damning thing about this kink is that by indulging it, a person has the potential to put themselves in a vulnerable, socially disadvantageous position. i wouldn't recommend anyone without strong financial security, good health insurance, and a strong & tolerant social network engage in feeder/feedee relationship... especially if they're open to it getting as intense as we all know it can get.

again, though, that's good advice for people getting into all kinds of relationships; the only thing that really differentiates feedees from other submissive partners is their high visibility... which kind of also raises the question of whether fat & feeding fetishes would be what they are in the first place outside the context of a fatphobic society. it's kind of like asking what heterosexual marriage would be like in the absence of misogyny: we just can't know; we've never been blessed with the opportunity.

which is, essentially, why i would mostly rather enjoy my feeding kink from a distance/with anakin/through a lens coloured by fantasy. i've joked before that i write these stories so my husband doesn't choke on cake batter, and while that does make me giggle, there's a deep, underlying truth to it: because like i said before, sex and relationships are inexorably connected for me — and loving someone means actually loving them... even if they change physically over time, whether that's by choice or by happenstance.

that means that if i love someone, i'm going to love them exactly the same whether they weigh 100lb or 600lb... thus taking some of the 'edge' off of the feedism stuff, i guess, and mostly relegating it to imaginationland.

i hate that you or me or anyone else has ever had cause to feel insecure about their size; it's a symptom of a really deep sickness that has no place in a functioning society. i can't help the kinds of bodies i'm viscerally attracted to, but that doesn't give me the right to put myself in a position of power over the people who occupy them, especially given the backwards nature of the world we live in. i'm old and i've been all kinds of sizes, and i can confirm that folks are fucking stupid about it — so i more than understand a degree of suspicion directed at anything perceived to be hurting a group of people who frankly don't need any more crap.

i kinda want to say some stuff about death feedism but this answer is already long enough, and that's kind of its own weird thing by itself, not that i haven't fantasized about anakin in that position

honestly, i can't thank you enough for giving me such ample opportunity to share my thoughts, and for being so kind/generous about sharing yours. because at the end of the day i get what you're saying, and it's kind of a relief to know that we seem to agree on what constitutes healthy human interaction.

sometimes i worry about people, but talking to you about this has been really nice — and really heartening, in a way i think i probably needed.

thank you again, stop by any time!! :))

[thesimulacrumb]

Happy pills Q!mouse what if's

I've been thinking on what kind of affects the happy pills would have on Q!mouse simply cause I am in a drought of Q!mouse content so I made a couple "What if's" that I think are MOST LIKELY to occur before and after she takes the dreaded Risus potion

First I think I should go over what exactly I think it would take for her to take the pills at all 1. Empanada loses a life I mean we already seen how she would act her egg is downed imagine her reaction to Em's death, she said herself she is not taking them specifically for Empanada's sake so really the only way I can see her taking them is if something were to happen to Em 2. Her "Nightmare" Since purgatory Q!mouse has repeatedly referred to it as a horrible nightmare and tried to change the topic, theoretically if this nightmare were to get to a point of delusion or hurting Empanada, I think its possible [with the help of a certain bear] she could be convinced to take the medicine just to be a better mother for Empanada Now unto the Effects, these are what I think mouse would be like upon taking the Happy pills, from my own research and kind of based on my previous head canons 1. Zooted!Mouse This is almost the least likely but, For those unknown to CC!Ironmouse's streams she regularly takes her own medicine during streams sometimes this causes her to act pretty out of it which many viewers affectionately refer to as "Zooted" it is possible she could use the happy pills to explain this behavior. while this is the funniest outcome it would honestly be my least favorite 2. Musical!Mouse [Any evidence saying I got this idea from TGWDLM is lying to you I swear] Now this idea mainly comes from Ironmouse being usually associated with singing and all around liking musicals, so imagine after she takes the pills she starts to treat things like a musical i.e. singing at random times and acting dismissive of anything negative in favor of treating things like an artificial play. kind of like a Disney princess 3. Hyper!Mouse This mainly pertains to my head canon post that Q!mouse feeds off of emotions. So from my idea she would basically be in a state of constant Overdosing on positive feelings causing her to act incredibly hyper like the stereotype of kids eating too much sugar, Similarly I think it would also contain Sugar Crashes were she has a period of existentialism and derealization. 4. Silly!Mouse You know when she was totally cool with killing all of the Feds especially after Purgatory, so what if she pick up after Q!Cellbit's lil spree decides to go on a lil silly spree of her own, I have no real idea on how this would actually happen AND its not even how the pills work but it would be funny.

5. Fed!Mouse

Now this is MAY be a direct contrast to the last what if BUT we have seen that Q!mouse doesn't really hate cucurucho and is very friendly with him [albeit while also being terrified of him] along with having already done his bidding with her photography skills. its very possible that while being on happy pills she could very well more willingly give some more help, Who knows it may be beneficial to have a demon on their side :] Of course all of these could very well just not happen and Q!mouse never actually takes the pills and really just holds onto them for the aesthetic and I am forever cucked out of ironmouse lore

[clara-licht]

You Belong With Me

Part of Best of Me Series

Summary: 5 times (Y/n) Stark felt jealous and 1 time it was Peter’s turn. (set before Just Out of Touch, can be read as a standalone)

Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

Word Count: 4.1k

Warning: mention of blood and maggots

Note: after a whole year, it’s finally here! Here’s another story set in the world of Just Out of Touch! This story can be read as a standalone, but reading JOOT might give you a bit more context. But if you haven’t read it, spoiler for JOOT, Hecate is (y/n)’s vigilante persona. (Y/n)’s pronouns are she/they, where they is specifically used when they’re out as Hecate. Since this story focuses on (y/n) and not Hecate, I used she/her throughout the story. In future stories both she and they will be used when there are both (y/n) and Hecate. Without further ado, enjoy the story!

Title Inspo: Taylor Swift - You Belong With Me

Best of Me Masterlist | Marvel Masterlist | Main Masterlist

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1: Compliment

——————————

(Y/n) side-glanced at Peter who was pacing back and forth in her room. She let him mumble and curse at himself while she laid on her bed, bored.

"Oh I'm so stupid! How could I have done that?! Ugh, she must hate me now!"

She rolled her eyes. "You're not stupid, Pete. You're in STEM school by scholarship for a reason, you know."

Peter stopped his pacing to look at (y/n) with his big doe eyes and panicked expression. "That's got nothing to do with this!" He exclaimed.

Rolling her eyes again, she asked, "What did you do again?"

He groaned and banged his head on her bed, mumbling something.

"What?"

"I complimented her skirt."

If she had to roll her eyes again, her eyeballs would probably be stuck that way.

"What's so bad about that?" She asked.

Peter didn't even lift his head from the soft duvet. "I sounded like a pervert, (y/n)!" He groaned. "She totally knew I've been checking her out the entire year!"

(Y/n) shook her head exasperatedly. "You couldn't have known that. You just complimented one piece of clothing, Peter. She wouldn't know you've been staring at her clothes every day."

Peter only let out another groan and turned over, pulling the duvet to cover his face. "No, she definitely knows!"

"What did you say, exactly?"

"I said the color suits her and asked if it's new…"

"…So?"

He removed the duvet and stared incredulously at her. "What do you mean, so?"

(Y/n) shrugged. "I don't see what's so bad about that. I mean, it's flattering?"

"Oh, you don't get it!" Peter threw his head back. "I asked if it's new! Meaning that I already know her clothes and noticed that I've never seen that skirt before!"

"Now that you said it like that, you do sound like a pervert."

"UGH!"

Chuckling, (y/n) lifted the duvet and removed it from Peter, eyes glowing soft blue. "Calm down, Spidey. What did she say?"

"I don't know. I ran away afterwards."

Her chuckle turned into a full-on laugh as Peter turned away with a pout, hoping to hide his flaming face.

In between her laugh, she shuffled closer to the boy and ran her fingers gently between his hair. "Well, if it was me, I wouldn't think much about it. I would just be flattered that you think a skirt looks good on me."

Still pouting, Peter mumbled, "But it's not you."

Her laughter ceased, replaced with a slightly sorrowful smile.

"But it's not me." She agreed.

——————————

2: Jokes

——————————

"What's taking him so long?" Happy grumbled.

"It's only been 10 minutes."

"10 minutes too long!"

(Y/n) only hummed and looked out the window. “It’s high school, Happy. It’s where he socializes with his friends, of course it’s going to take time.”

“Not if I can help it.” He muttered.

Shaking her head fondly, her eyes swept through the entrance of Midtown High, trying to see if the young vigilante was anywhere near them. Today was a scheduled lab day and she volunteered to pick him up with Happy. Since she already finished any lessons she had for the day Tony had let her go.

As she kept watch, she couldn’t help but feel a little bittersweet. Sure, she enjoyed her studies online, but she knew that she was missing that typical high school experience. Going to classes, eating lunch in the cafeteria, walking home with friends… But she was also aware that it was all for her safety.

The woes of having a famous father.

(Y/n) was shaken off her thoughts when she finally noticed Ned among the students in front of the school. If Ned was there, then Peter was surely not far.

Sure enough, she could spot a familiar tuft of brown hair right behind Ned.

And apparently he wasn’t alone.

Peter was talking with a girl facing his way. (Y/n) couldn’t see her face but she had a good idea of who she was.

Peter had a shy smile on his lips and his cheeks were nearly blossoming, if (y/n) could say so. In true Peter fashion, he seemed to be stumbling upon his words and spoke a mile per minute. The girl seems as though she didn’t mind as she was laughing along. And yet, unlike the oblivious Peter she was used to, this Peter looked at the girl as if she was a goddess sent to the earth to absolve every sinner from their fated doom. This Peter smiled at her as if she handpicked each star to light up the darkest night.

His darkest night.

(Y/n) unconsciously took a sharp breath when she saw the girl laughing so hard she had to hold onto Peter to stabilize herself. The way she clutched Peter’s arm and the color on Peter’s cheeks…

“There he is! Call him, tell him to hurry up.”

“Just… Just give him a minute, will you, Happy?” She mumbled, eyes never leaving Peter. She was unaware of Happy glancing at her with a frown on his forehead. Like her, he did notice that Peter had a girl with him. He just hadn’t yet connected it to why (y/n) looked off.

As (y/n) sat there looking at the window, the tight feeling in her chest kept getting more painful as time went. On one hand, she would love to get out of the car and go to him, replacing the girl’s position beside Peter. But on the other hand, she knew that things didn’t work that way.

‘He’s happy, that’s all that matters, right?’

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t notice Peter already saying his goodbyes and approaching the car. It was only when Peter sat beside her that she was shaken off her trails.

“Hey, you good?” He asked.

(Y/n) smiled, a hint of sorrow that Peter didn’t notice on her lips.

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?”

——————————

3: Flirt

——————————

The silence was quite awkward, if (y/n) must say.

Tony was out on a conference of some sort in Japan, and as much as (y/n) would love to visit the country, her father couldn’t literally pay her to sit through that conference with him. While she would inherit the company one day, she’d avoid any stuffy meetings if she could.

That day was another scheduled lab day for Peter, though. Tony had forgotten to tell him to reschedule, so he still went to the tower. Peter was going to leave until (y/n) called Tony and he told Peter to just mess around in the lab.

And there they were. In Tony Stark’s personal lab. Just the two of them (along with Dum-E).

(Y/n) could tell something was off with Peter. The first sign was when he said he would go home when he heard Tony wasn’t there. Usually he’d just stay and watch a movie with her. And now he was all quiet while fiddling with his webshooters.

Of course, one could say that perhaps he was focused on fixing or upgrading it, but (y/n) knew that there was nothing wrong with his webshooters and they already installed the upgrade a couple weeks ago. They hadn’t come up with new ideas since then.

“Hey, Pete?”

“Hm?” He didn’t even look up.

“Is there anything in your mind?”

“Huh? No, nothing.” Peter mumbled, still fiddling with his webshooters.

(Y/n) frowned. Something was not right, indeed.

A few minutes passed with silence between them. (Y/n) kept sneaking glances at Peter and Peter kept toying around with the shooters on his wrist. He wasn’t even doing anything. His eyes were unfocused and he was deep in thoughts.

Heaving a sigh, (y/n) removed the goggles she had on. She was doing a project for SI, but it could wait.

“Okay, let’s talk about this,” she said.

Peter finally looked up and stared at her, confused. “Talk about what?”

“Well, this,” she said again, gesturing at Peter.

“...you’re gesturing at all of me.”

“Of course I’m gesturing at all of you! You’re acting weird!”

“No I’m not.”

“Yes you are! You’re so quiet and you kept playing with your webshooters! Is there something wrong with them or what? You look like you’re thinking so hard and we both know you’re smart enough to not have to think that hard about your shooters!”

Peter didn’t say anything for a while as he stared at (y/n), eyes slightly furrowed.

“Well?” (Y/n) prompted. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

Peter sighed and bit his lip. He looked up, as if pondering whether or not he should tell (y/n) about what was on his mind.

“It’s, uh, it’s about Liz.”

(Y/n) heart dropped.

“W-What about her?” She asked, feigning ignorance.

The frown made another appearance on Peter’s forehead. His fingers returned to the webshooter strapped on his wrist and started fiddling again. It was then that (y/n) noticed that this was his way of fidgeting. He used to fiddle with his fingers and then it was with his shooters.

“Well, I saw her today…”

“...and?”

“She, um…” Peter swallowed. “She was, uh, flirting, I think? With Flash.”

By some miracle, instead of feeling that tightness in her chest from the mention of her, she felt truly confused. “Flash? The same Flash that picks on you and doesn't believe in your internship?”

“Uh, yeah…?”

“Why would she? Doesn’t she know what kind of person he is?”

Peter laughed dryly. “He’s rich, (y/n).”

“And so am I, what about it?” (Y/n) raised an eyebrow. “I’m not as obnoxious as that guy, am I?”

“Of course not. You may be getting a big head, though.” He teased with a grin.

(Y/n) only swatted at his arm.

(It took every single will in her not to make a dirty joke then and there, telling herself it wasn’t appropriate for the topic.)

“Anyway! Why did you think she was flirting with him?” (Y/n) asked, ignoring the tight feeling that finally arrived despite the miracle earlier.

“Remember last week? When you picked me up with Happy?”

(Y/n) nodded. ‘How could I not?’ She thought bitterly.

“I don’t know if you saw, but uhh we were flirting, I think?”

“You think?”

“Well, Ned said we were…” Peter mumbled. “We were joking around and she kinda laughed so hard she had to hold onto me…” He recounted, a blush starting to make its way on his cheeks.

(Y/n) took a deep breath to try and calm her erratic heart. Her heart felt like it was sinking with each word coming out of Peter’s mouth. Had she not been a strong-willed young woman with experience in keeping her face neutral, she was 100% sure her eyes would be all watery by now. Not that she didn’t feel the burn on her eyes as she pretended not to hear Peter whispering ‘her hand was so soft’.

“And was she doing the same with Flash?” She asked, and again, by miracle, her voice didn’t crack.

Peter’s hand fell from his wrist and he nodded dejectedly.

“I thought she liked me, you know?” He muttered. Unlike her, Peter was an open book. He was never good at hiding his expression that it was a wonder that his secret identity was still intact. (Y/n) could clearly hear the pain in his voice.

It honestly infuriated her how easy it was for him to affect her.

(Y/n) cleared her throat. “Don’t take it to heart, Pete. Maybe she was just being friendly with him.”

“Or maybe she was just being friendly with me.” Peter mumbled, still dejected.

It filled her heart with grief that he could make such a pained expression in front of her. Had it been her, she could say with certainty that she would never let this boy in front of her go without a smile. But then again, who was she to do that? It wasn’t her that he wanted to put that smile on him.

And so, with a heavy heart and a smile hiding sorrow behind it, she told him, “Why don’t you ask her to do something with you? Like a date?”

——————————

4: Date

——————————

“(Y/n)? Where’s Peter?” Pepper immediately asked when she saw (y/n) lounging alone on the couch.

(Y/n) shrugged half-heartedly, shoving a spoonful of her favorite cookies and cream ice cream to her mouth. An older season of CSI: Miami was playing on the screen in front of her. She kept eating her ice cream unbothered as the screen showed a bloody corpse full of maggots. Oh, apparently it wasn’t a corpse and she was still alive. Who would’ve thought?

“Don’t you guys usually spend Sundays together?” Pepper asked again.

(Y/n) mumbled something that Pepper couldn’t hear.

“Sorry, what?”

“He has a date.”

Pepper blinked once. “A date?”

(Y/n) nodded.

“With… who?”

“...a girl from his school. An upperclassman.”

“Huh… Is that so?” Pepper hummed, taking a seat beside the young Stark.

She glanced at the angsty teen, still enjoying her ice cream accompanied by a pool of blood and maggot and David Caruso on the screen. “How are you feeling?”

“What do you mean? I’m totally fine.” (Y/n) answered through a mouthful of sugary dairy.

“I don’t think so, honey.” Pepper smiled at her, taking the tub away.

(Y/n) didn’t bother to answer, stubbornly keeping her eyes on the screen.

“I always thought both of you would end up together. What happened?” Pepper tried to ask.

“Us ending up together, huh?” (Y/n) chuckled dryly. “Not a chance, Pep.”

“Why do you say that?”

(Y/n) turned to the CEO of the company that one day would be hers. “Have you looked at Peter? Really looked at him?” She asked. “Because if you have, then you’d know that his eyes were never on me. Not once.”

Sighing, she reached to take back the tub of ice cream from Pepper. “A friend is all I am to him.” She muttered.

(Y/n) was perfectly fine with returning to her angsty mood accompanied by ice cream and crime lab, but apparently Pepper was not.

Pepper stood up and asked FRIDAY to turn the screen off.

“Aw, Pep! Why did you do that!” (Y/n) whined, not unlike a child getting her toy taken away.

“No wallowing in self pity, young lady. Now up you go! We’re going out.”

She groaned and plopped her face on the couch.

To say she would regret going out would be an understatement.

Because an hour on her outing with Pepper, she actually saw Peter on his date.

He was wearing a shirt and grey sweater, like how he wore to school, though the collar was neat. He definitely combed and gelled his hair. She didn’t like it, to be honest. (Y/n) always loved his curls that would fall to his eyes when it got a bit too long. She loved the soft unruly strands that felt silky when she ran her fingers through them.

Peter and his date, Liz, were in a cafe together. It was a cute and aesthetically pleasing one too. (Y/n) was in the Italian restaurant right across the street. Pepper sat with her back to the glass window, so she couldn’t see them, but it was as clear as the sky for (y/n).

And (y/n) wanted to look away, she really did. Yet for some reason, she just couldn’t stop staring at the happy couple. She watched as Liz reached a hand out to wipe something off the corner of Peter’s lips. She watched as Peter laughed shyly. She watched as he hesitantly tried to hold Liz’s hand on the table. She watched as Liz grinned and took his hand in hers.

She watched as they smiled at each other like they were the only people in the world and she was nothing but a speck of dust.

She watched, with bitter heart and a sorrowful smile as she told herself, as long as he’s happy, right?

——————————

5: Broken Heart

——————————

How could this have happened?

They were having such a great time together!

So why...?

“Peter, I’m so sorry…”

“It’s not your fault, why are you sorry?”

“I was the one who pushed you to ask her on a date…”

Peter chuckled. He tried to look unbothered, but he was still so easy to read. (Y/n) could basically hear the pieces of his broken heart rattling around as he moved.

It hurt her more than seeing him with her.

“Well, you couldn’t have known everything, (y/n),” Peter said. “Besides, at least I tried, you know?”

(Y/n) bit her lip.

Logically, she should be happy, shouldn’t she? Liz had told Peter that she wanted to remain friends, that she couldn’t be with him. That meant Peter was free for the whole world. Whether or not she had a chance was something else entirely. And yet, she felt extremely guilty.

“I’m okay, really!” Peter grinned with a fake cheerfulness. “I had a great time and I appreciate her telling me the truth instead of leading me on. I’m sure we’ll remain great friends even after this.”

‘But you were never great friends with her…’

“I guess she’s just trying to focus on her studies, you know? Since she’s a senior and all.”

‘But she did lead you on…’

“And you know what they say, there are plenty more fish in the sea!”

‘But you were so fixated on her…’

Peter’s eyes softened when he realized how quiet (y/n) was. “I’m really alright, (y/n). It’s not your fault at all.”

“Besides,” he grinned, this time genuine, “Maybe now it’s my turn to help you find someone! Your help was greatly appreciated and now I can return the favor!”

(Y/n) refrained from smiling sardonically at the irony. The only way he could help her find someone was if he magically fell in love with her, but she knew better than to be wishful like that.

“Thank you, Pete, but that won’t be necessary.”

“Whaaaaat why? I can give great love advice!”

“Yeah? Like what?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Uhh…”

“Exactly.”

“Anyway! When you find someone, tell me, okay? I’ll try my best to help you, since you were so helpful to me.”

Helpful, huh?

Why can’t you see it?

How badly I want to say those words?

Instead, (Y/n) smiled, sorrow seeping into her being. “It was my pleasure.”

——————————

+1: Reverse

——————————

arachnophobia: wanna go out tonight? hecate hasnt been out for a while

ironlady: cant today

ironlady: harley’s coming

arachnophobia: harley? the one whose garage mr stark broke into?

ironlady: yep!! cant wait to see him

ironady: its been a while

arachnophobia: can i meet him?

ironlady: ofc just come here

The moment Peter stepped out from the elevator, he could hear the laughter already. He didn’t need his enhanced hearing to know that (y/n) was positively joyful.

He followed the sound to the penthouse’s living room where he could see (y/n) sitting on the couch. Beside her was a young man his age with sandy blonde hair. Both of them were talking animatedly with each other.

“Hey.”

“Oh, Peter!” (Y/n) turned around, a big grin on her face. “This is Harley Keener, the potato boy dad and I told you about!”

“Potato boy?” Harley frowned.

“It’s either that or problem child 1, which one do you prefer?”

“Tony’s been calling me that?”

“Yep!”

“And what are you?”

“Problem child 2, duh.” (Y/n) rolled her eyes.

Harley scoffed. “Yeah, right, il mio tarassaco.”

“Hey! Only dad can call me that!”

“I know, I know, don’t get your panties in a twist, Princess Stark.” Harley laughed as he ruffled (y/n)’s hair, much to her chagrin.

Peter couldn’t get one word out. He watched as (y/n) tried to get back at Harley and mess with his hair as Harley dodged her. He watched as (y/n)’s face was overtaken by a huge grin and her eyes lighted up in joy.

“Harley stop it!”

“You started it!”

“No I didn’t!”

“Yes you did!”

“No I didn’t!”

“Yes you did!”

“No I- you know what, I’m not doing this. You haven’t even greeted Peter!” (Y/n) huffed, gesturing at Peter who was still standing still behind the sofa.

“Oh, yeah, my bad,” Harley said. He stood up and dusted his pants, then reached out a hand.

“Harley Keener, at your service,” he grinned.

Peter took his hand hesitantly. “Peter Parker. Nice to meet you.”

(Y/n) beamed at the two of them. “I’ve told him so much about you. I think you guys will be great friends!” She told Peter. “Dad is talking about making Harley his intern too, so you two will be Stark Industries first and only high school interns. Tony Stark’s personal interns, to be exact.”

“Wait, intern?” Peter asked, clearly taken aback. “But don’t you live in Tennessee?”

Harley shrugged. “I’m moving here around next month. Not a lot of opportunities back home, so Tony offered to house and send me to school here. I’m here today to look around before the big day.”

“It’s a shame I can’t go to school with you, though.” (Y/n) complained. “I’m getting bored of this whole homeschooling thing.”

“What can I say, Princess Stark,” Harley said with a teasing smile, “a Princess must remain at her castle.”

“Yeah, well, this Princess can take care of herself and goes out at night alone, what about it?” She rolled her eyes.

“Alright, alright, you got a point, Hecate.”

“I told you, I’m not Hecate right now!”

“He knows about Hecate?” Peter asked.

(Y/n) nodded. “He was the first one to know, even before dad. I told you of how Harley’s been coming here for years, right? He basically knows more about me than dad at this point.”

“That, I do.” Harley said, staring at Peter a little too long. Something dawned on him when he saw something on Peter’s face.

He turned to (y/n) and slung an arm around her shoulders. “Anyway, I gotta run and find Tony now, got things to ask him. I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah, you know where to find me.”

“Great! See ya later, Princess Stark.” Harley dropped a big kiss on her head and left the room, but not before giving Peter a meaningful look.

Peter was frozen on his spot.

In all his time knowing (y/n), not once did he ever see (y/n) that happy. She looked so carefree, as if she trusted Harley blindly and trusted him to keep her that way. It took him some time to get (y/n) to open up to him. He knew that he couldn’t compare himself to Harley who knew (y/n) longer than him, but for some reason it ticked him off.

But why?

And when Harley held (y/n) close to him like that? It felt wrong to Peter. Then he went and actually kissed her! Well, on the head, but still. Something felt off within Peter and he didn’t really know what or why.

Somehow, it was almost like…

Like it should’ve been him?

“Peter, are you okay?”

Peter was startled from his thoughts when (y/n)’s face suddenly entered his peripherals.

“I’m fine, why do you ask?” He quickly said.

(Y/n) hummed. “You look a bit off, that’s all.”

“It’s nothing, I promise.”

“If you say so…”

“So, uh,” Peter started, “that Harley… How long is he staying?”

“A week, I think. He’ll move in next month, on the 15th.” (Y/n) answered. “I can’t wait for next month, honestly. I missed him so much. Him living with me and dad here would be a blast.”

“When do you want to go out?” Peter asked, changing the subject immediately. Somehow, for some reason, he didn’t want to hear (y/n) talk about Harley anymore. Especially not about how he would be living with her.

“Ah, well… Not this week? Maybe after Harley’s back to Tennessee?”

“...oh.”

“You can still go out without me though! I know Spider-Man must be anxious to get out there!”

“...yeah, you’re right. Uh, you know what, I actually forgot I had to run an errand for May, so I’m going to leave now, okay?”

Peter quickly rushed out. The penthouse was getting stuffy for no reason and he couldn’t stand being there anymore.

What is wrong with me?

——————————

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[guardianspirits13]

I wanna talk about Natsuo Todoroki for a second here.

tw// mentions of abuse, self harm, and suicide

Natsuo visibly has the most emotional trauma out of anyone else in his family (Touya not included), and I really wanna talk about why that is.

For starters, we haven't seen him really smile since he was introduced in chapter 187. He's introduced as having a friendly, easygoing persona and it's easy to imagine this is how most people outside of his family know him. However, every time we see him appear since then, another layer of his trauma is revealed and expanded upon, and it cuts DEEP.

I think the main reason that Natsuo still seems so vulnerable compared to the rest of his family is different than what you'd assume. Fuyumi and Shouto both spend a lot of time around Endeavor, and have been in close proximity to his (relatively recent) decision to atone. They have seen his growth firsthand and come to terms with it. Rei has obviously taken a very different path to healing- not entirely voluntarily- but she has been working with doctors and therapists for years to change and recover and reconnect with herself and her children. Natsuo is off at college, and takes every opportunity he can to avoid Endeavor. He (understandably) wants nothing to do with him, and shows stagnant resistance to his attempts to atone.

The reason why Natsuo can't move on from the past is because his trauma didn't come from Endeavor. It came from Touya.

Now initially we were led to believe that it was simply Touya's untimely death that still bothers Natsuo, and it makes sense seeing how Endeavor drove him to the edge. Losing his best friend and brother as a young kid without parents to support him or any therapist to speak of can absolutely been the source of persistent emotional damage, but the more and more we learn about Touya's situation, the more evident it becomes that Natsuo's trauma is much much deeper than even grief.

Touya, as we know, was driven by an ambition instilled in him by his father and experienced extreme rejection sensitivity when those ambitions were no longer realistic. Touya's relationship with his parents could be described as insecure attachment, a psychological term primarily regarding how kids react and respond to their parents and other close relationships. As he was raised, Touya learned to equate his potential to be a hero with his personal worth and similarly confounded attention with love. The difference being, of course, that love is unconditional, but even attention was being continually directed away from him as a punishment for continuing to train and burn himself so he could once again become worthy in his fathers' eyes.

This is where Natsuo comes in. At first it was assumed that all of the Todoroki children were born out of Endeavor's strong-willed desire to have a child that could surpass All Might, but we learned that this isn't exactly the case. I'd argue that it was narratively poetic on Horikoshi's part once this was expanded upon. Fuyumi was born to support and encourage her brother, and that is the exact role she plays 23 years later, keeping her family together.

Natsuo's case is even more intersting.

It was bad enough if Natsuo was only born for the potential of his quirk, but it's even more sinister that the sole intent behind his birth was to discourage Touya from his ambitions. I'd say it was to replace him, but it was more to promote the idea that Touya was expendable than to raise aonther kid with the same ideals but the potential to actually achieve it, although that was definitely a secondary motivation.

The parallelism in this is how much Natsuo's life revolves around Touya. He was born because of Touya, he looked up to and took care of Touya as a kid, and the absence of Touya in the present continues to drive him and his decisions in life (but more on that later).

I continue to pray that we will eventually get more solid backstory on Natsuo and Touya's relationship as kids and where it cut off, wether on a bad note or not, but there are a few things we know for certain. One, Touya was mentally ill. Yes, he was rejected by his parents but he seems to have been particularly vulnerable to this compared to any of his siblings since he was the first of them and thus relied only on his parents for validation in his early years. He shows early signs of a variety of different mental disorders, particularly BPD, which I have previously written a whole analysis for on its own. Touya is shown self-harming both by the very nature of his quirk and even by very directly ripping his hair out. He was incredibly self-destructive.

This is why it is so much more concerning to me that Natsuo, who was AT LEAST four years younger than him, was his primary source of comfort. Natsuo was too young to have known anything more than 'my big brother is sad that daddy won't train him anymore' and he obviously wasn't equipped in any way to handle Touya's severe mental illness. Touya most definitely needed professional treaatment as his forms of coping were abnormal even for the neglect and rejection that he experienced. Natsuo comforted Touya through breakdown after breakdown, and more than that Touya relied on him and came to him voluntarily for support. Natsuo was the best option he had, and he took full advantage of that. The main source of Natsuo's trauma was Touya's reliance on him.

Not to say at all that this was in any way Touya's fault- he was mentally ill and desperately in need of some form of comfort to keep him sane; it was almost a survival method at this point since neither of his parents really acknowleged him at all anymore. Touya's instability hurt Natsuo more than parental neglect ever did, but it was the neglect that enabled it and striped Touya of the supportive atmosphere he would have needed at this point not only to prevent but to heal from the mental damage he had already suffered.

Natsuo dealt with this for years and you can see how much it hurt him to see Touya in so much pain, not only from Endeavor's rejection but from his own self harm as well. For Natuso to know that his brotherly love would never be the same as having loving parents; would neve be enough- but at least it was something so he continued to love and care about his brother for little in return- is indicative of the kind of character he is.

(Edit: After the events of chapter 302 we know that Natsuo's relationship with Touya wasn't perfect. I will elaborate more on this in a different post, but I just wanted to clarify that although we were shown a very high-tension scene between them, it is implied that this was a regular occurrence that Natsuo was usually more receptive too but tired out of, in addition to Touya's spiraling mental health. It fit with the natrative to show the tension Touya was feeling with his family from all directions, but Natsu and Touya clearly had a stronger relationship up to and before this point, evidenced by their sharing a room and playing together regularly.)

He is incredibly selfless, and it's interesting to note how many of his positive qualities as an adult stem from negative experiences as a kid. He never really felt love from his parents, so he relied on Touya (and likely also Fuyumi) for that as well. If he grew up learning he had to give love in order to recieve it back, it absolutely influenced who he became in the future, a solid example of this being the responsibility he feels to reach out and have a relationship with Shouto and further regrets that he wasn't able to help his abuse in the past either. Another aspect of his character that intruigues me is how gentle he is. Personality-wise he seems about as opposite as he could be from the awkward, stoic, emotionally-stunted person that is Endeavor.

There are a couple of reasons for this, beyond what I've already discussed.

One, he had little to no contact with elements of toxic masculinity growing up, especially not from Endeavor.

Two, most of the influence he did have growing up was from Fuyumi, who is established to have endlessly cared for him since he was a literal baby.

Three, he grew up in a household where almost everyone around him was in much more literal, immediate pain than he was so he developed a very strong sense of empathy that might also have been tied to early survivor's guilt.

Now I have one important distinction to make, and that's the temptation to label him as a 'softboy' or something of the like after seeing him caring for his family and more pointedly, watching him break down in tears during chapter 252. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with men being soft or vulnerable (on the contrary it's actually so so important and relevant that Hori is writing characters like this in a mainstream shounen manga but that's an essay for another time), it is unfair to label him as such based on a moment when his trauma is being exposed.

Because his truama stems from such a young age, there is a blurry line between just being born with more emotional intelligence and the situation he was in fostering those traits. You know, the classic nature/nurture thing. My point being, it's important to tread carefully when discussing the nature of his personality to avoid invalidating his trauma; I have no doubt that he is very strong for having survived these things, and the moments we see of him onscreen are definitely among his most vulnerable.

Another thing that people less familiar with Natsuo's character might assume is that he is hot-headed and argumentative. I thought that at first too- after all, he doesn't seem to shy away from yelling at Endeavor when given the opportunity. However, this doesn't seem to be the case at all.

The first real scene we see him in with Endeavor, the man walks into the room and Natsuo decides he can't handle it and goes to leave. However, Endeavor happens to be blocking the doorway. Endeavor physically stops him and provokes him to his face, asking him to say whatever is on him mind. While Natsuo is notably not confrontational, Endeavor is. I think it's fair to say that he felt at least uneasy at this gesture. Natsuo is very honest with his feelings, and it's obvious that he's pissed at the audacity of Endeavor to be so oblivious to his own son. This is presumably one of the first real interactions they've ever really had, and at this point Natsuo has been dealing with trauma (caused by Endeavor!) on his own for years, and Endeavor seems completely oblivious to his pain and dismmisive to the rest of the family's as well.

Again during the internship arc Natsuo tries to get along with Endeavor and this time he actually gives it a fleeting chance. Tensions are high, however, and the conversation very quickly becomes uncomfortable, at which point he leaves. It is continually implied that Natsuo is uncomfortable being around Endeavor because his very presence brings up painful thoughts and memories of a time when sharing the same space as him was a warning to run and hide. This is later directly confirmed by Natsuo as he says that every time he looks at Endeavor's face he remembers Touya and the pain he was in.

I feel like an important side note is that we have never seen Natsuo outside the context of his family, which is understandable, as the role he plays in the story directly relates to them. However, if you take a look at Shouto, even though his experiences have shaped him to become who he is, he definitely acts differently when Endeavor's not in the vicinity.

Back to Touya's death, it would be very rare that someone would mourn a death for an entire decade without finding closure unless there are other factors preventing it, and uncomfortably this seems to be the same thing for both Natsuo and Endeavor: guilt.

This is getting incredibly long already, but it's important to note that Natsuo probably felt an incredible responsibility to take care of Touya and protect him because of his empathetic nature. His love was never going to be the same as having loving parents. His encouragement was never going to be the same as having support from Endeavor. Even further than then neglect and abandonement, it was not being able to save Touya that really made Natsuo feel worthless.

He seems to try and remedy this inability to save Touya and diminish his guilt by doing everything he can to be better. He reaches out to Shouto to be a better brother, he consistently pushes his limits to entertain Fuyumi's notion of a happy family, and he's working hard towards a degree rhat will allow him to help people like Touya (and Rei) because he failed to do so in the past.

His bio mildly implies that he didn't have much of a direction he was heading in after high school, but Fuyumi's encouragement led him to seek out his current college career. This goes back to Natsuo's 'purpose' in a sense revolving arount Touya, from his birth to his relationship with him to his death, after which he lost his direction. They were always rather inseperable, so naturally their seperation hit Natsuo hard. He lost his direction in life so when Fuyumi encouraged him to rediscover it, he thought of helping people, because that's ultimately what he was born to do.

Thank you so, so much for reading this if you made it to the end! I clearly have a lot of thoughts on this. Let me know what you think about it as well, and hopefully we'll get more info on this soon in the manga :)

[randomshyperson]

THE SCARLET WITCH PROPHECY - Chapter VI - The Fourth Year (Final Part)

Gif is not mine, blessed are the gif makers.

Summary: As the youngest daughter of Howard Stark, you have ordinary expectations for your years at Hogwarts. Little do you know what adventures await you when your destiny is intertwined with the legendary Scarlet Witch.

Warnings: +16. Adaptation of the Harry Potter Saga, Magical Thematic, Prophecies, Mentions of Violence, Torture and dark magic, Language (swearing and minor/major offenses), manipulation of will, Underage kissing, insinuation of smut with minors, Smut (overage), descriptions of death, aggression, obscurity, angst, fluffy, soulmates analogies. | Chapters Warnings: Heavy angst in this.

A/N: This took me a while, because i had writer block (and it's not over yet). Anyway, I hope people like this. Let me know if anything is confusing okay? Sorry about typos too.

Words counting: 11.344K

Series Masterlist ||  Read on AO3 || All Works Masterlist

//-//

The Fourth Year - Final Part

Wanda was avoiding you. Well, not just you, but all your friends.

You told Gamora what happened, but you didn't have the stomach to repeat the story to anyone else, so your sister passed the news on.

You were coping well in spite of everything. You missed her terribly the whole time, but you were pushing the feelings down and trying to stay positive about everything.

By trying to put yourself in Wanda's shoes, you understood why she did what she did. You just had to find a way to prove to her that what you felt was real, and for that you needed to find out more about your magical bond.

Your best alternative to the lack of books about it in the library was to talk to the professors. Judging from your experience with them, none of the teachers would tell you anything. But Fury has been acting very differently all year, and although you don't agree with the way he has been teaching D.A.D.A. lately, you have the impression that he would tell you anything you asked.

That's why after a particularly exhausting class where he made all students practice the shield spell until one of the boys threw up, you waited until the room emptied to talk to him, watching with curiosity as he turned a small bottle he kept in his pocket to his mouth.

"What is it Stark?" He asked still on his back. You wondered if behind the eye patch he had some enchanted eye to see around things, but the idea seemed too absurd to you.

"Sorry, Professor Fury." You say. "I have a question about advanced magic and would like to clear it with you."

Fury put his materials away in his bag, and beckoned for you to accompany him into the private office, and you followed him into the small room, watching him set the desk on a coffee table and move toward a glass cabinet of magic supplies.

"Have a seat and make yourself comfortable." He said with his back turned. "I need to prepare a potion, but you can ask me what you want."

You stumble half-heartedly to one of the empty armchairs, and then clear your throat.

"It's about magic bonds, professor." You recount. "I... well, I think I have one. And well, I'm not finding much material on it, and I don't understand how they work."

Fury makes a noise with his mouth in understanding, his hands wandering through the cabinets behind ingredients you don't recognize, but he seems to be paying attention to both you and the brewing of the potion.

"Are you familiar with the concept of magical bonds and connections, Miss Stark?" He asks and you deny it. The professor cuts something that looks like mushrooms on the table as he speaks again. "The reason you can't find books that explain to you exactly the nature of this magic, is because no wizard has been able to decipher these enchantments correctly." He explains. "The magical bonds are one of the oldest and most powerful enchantments in the magical world, Miss Stark. Extremely dangerous, yet immeasurably valuable for some purposes."

You swallow dryly, but do not interrupt. Professor Fury bends down to reach a tin cauldron and places it on the counter in front of him, on a small makeshift stove. He deposits some ingredients inside.

"Have you ever heard about any of these bonding spells?" He asks and you think for a moment.

"I think I've heard about the perpetual vow, sir."

Fury gives a small smile, nodding. He sniffs a small bottle before pouring the contents into the cauldron.

"Yes, the perpetual vow is a great example of a magical bond." He says. "But it is still an active spell, you need to recite an incantation and both parties need to voluntarily close the bond. Some witches believe it's a contractual magic, much more than a natural connection." Fury explains. "I particularly prefer to use another example, Stark. The life debt."

Fury has a smile at the corner of his lips, and a strange gleam in his eyes when he looks at you for a moment, but you don't have the courage to ask. He turns his attention back to the cauldron, lighting the flame under the metal with his wand.

"I don't know what that means." You confess and the professor doesn't take his eyes off the cauldron.

"A life debt is a magical bond created when a wizard or witch saves the life of another magical being." He explains. "And I say magical being, not just another wizard, because I've seen it happen once for a centaur to owe a wizard their life. But never the other way around."

"How does that work?"

"It's very simple really." He says. "If you save someone's life, that person or creature will owe you a debt. The bond is created, without needing an incantation. The act of preserving a life is magical enough to create that bond." He explains and his expression turns almost somber. "The best part is that the person saved needs to pay back."

"And how do they do it?"

"A life can only be paid with another life." He declares. By now, the potion is smelling. You don't know what it is, but it looks like lavender, and it makes you a little dizzy. "I have witnessed a quitting in my time as an auror, Miss Stark." He tells you, and you already imagine that what he is about to say is not something you should tell a fourteen-year-old witch, but you don't think to interrupt. "The debtor throws himself in front of the Reducto incantation to prevent the death of the witch who saved him once. I still remember the pieces flying around the room."

You looked away, uncomfortable with the mental image you were given. The professor didn't seem to mind.

"But of course not all debts are paid off like that." He added as if he hadn't just told the story of someone tearing themselves apart. "Stopping a friend from falling off his broom in a game of quidditch might be enough to pay off a debt. Or to create one too." He counters. " This kind of magic has always been very difficult to decipher."

You murmur in understanding, keeping your gaze on the floor. The professor sighs lightly, moving away from the cauldron to sit in the empty armchair in front of you.

"But I'm guessing you're not talking about any of these bonds, are you?" He hints and you swallow dryly, feeling intimidated by the watchful gaze he gives you. You figure that lying is not an option.

"N-no sir." You reply. "I wanted to know more about protective bonds. Like... like the idea of someone you care about getting hurt, causes you a really bad feeling. And it makes you ignore your own safety and makes you go too far e...."

"Impressive." The professor interrupts, his gaze almost fascinated on you, and making you swallow dryly. "And how far are we talking about, Stark? What's the limit? Would the wizard put themselves in front of an unforgivable curse? Would they offer themselves up as a sacrifice? If one were to get hurt, would the bruises show up on the other, or does the very idea make your insides turn? Or…”

"Fury." You jump in fright when Strange's voice interrupts the monologue of the other man, who was very close to you now.

Fury looks annoyed that he has been cut off, but he turns away with a smile. "Pardon the interruption. I need to have a word with you on a matter." Stephen said, but he didn't look happy at all, and his expression was one of concern and disapproval, probably from the discussion he witnessed.

You stood up awkwardly, taking a step back, your heart still racing from the things the professor told you.

"Of course, Professor Strange." Fury spoke as he stood up. "Stark, I hope that has cleared up your doubts. If there is anything else you wish to ask me, you may come to my office as needed."

You bit your tongue to avoid saying that Fury only scared you rather than clarifying anything, and nodded in understanding.

"Defense Against the Dark Arts may not be my class, but I am also available to talk with you, Miss Stark." Stephen added softly as you passed him in the doorway. You mumbled a goodbye before walking out of the office, ignoring the horrible feeling that settled in your stomach.

//-//

You were really disturbed by the conversation with Professor Fury. The story of the wizard casting himself in front of a spell gave you strange dreams, and you could no longer be sure that you wouldn't do the same for Wanda.

Your friends were equally impressed by what you told them, and you ignored the feeling of dissatisfaction at the pit of your stomach that you felt because you wish you were talking to Wanda about it, and tried to be more grateful that you have someone to talk to at all.

You were thinking of talking to Tony about everything, and you thought you'd look for him in the Slytherin hall, and to your surprise, he showed up in your common room. You thought he was there to spend some time with Steve, but he really came to see you.

"Daddy wrote for us." He explains as soon as he greets you. The letter already open in your hands as he throws himself on the couch in the communal hall. It is Sunday, but the room is very empty because with the amount of free time and foreigners in the castles, most of the students are socializing outside. You had dismissed your friends' invitation to practice Quidditch in exchange for a nap, as you were upset by the way Wanda left the main hall at breakfast when she realized you were sitting at the Slytherin table with her brother.

"Finally." You grumble as you sit down in the armchair across from Tony, stretching out your arm to pick up the letter. It must have been the first letter in three months or more. Last time, your father had said he was overwhelmed with work and would not send any news for a while. You thought it would be days, but it was months. Jarvis at least wrote to tell that he was alive, working in the basement.

Looking down at the paper, you began to read:

"Dear children, how is school going? I hope you are studying as I have always asked you to do. I have been busy with an important project at the ministry, an invention to improve the astronomical forecasts of the wizarding community. Please forgive me for the lack of contact these last months.

Tony, I received the letter about the detention, and I was quite upset when I heard about the bet. You are the older brother and you should protect your sister, not put her in danger. But I am glad that everything ended well and hope that this kind of behavior will not happen again.

Y/N, dear, I heard about your willingness to start studying Muggle Studies, and I'm very glad..."

You stop reading the letter halfway through, frowning and looking at Tony next, who was lying with his head on the cushions and his arm under his eyes.

"What kind of crap is this?" you ask with confusion and irritation, causing Tony to let out a short chuckle. "Dad telling us to study? What the...?"

"It doesn't sound anything like him, I know." Tony interrupts and then sighs, sitting down on the couch to point to the paper. "And see how he doesn't make any jokes about the dare, or any comments about your incident at the lake? It sounds so mechanical and vague."

"Do you think he hasn't read our letters? He only mentions the one from school." You say and Tony leans back on the couch, thoughtful.

"I don't know. It just doesn't sound like him." He says. "I wouldn't be surprised to find out that Jarvis wrote it."

"Why would Jarvis do that?"

"Because Dad hasn't spoken to us in three months." Tony retorts with irritation. "And well, you almost drowned and he didn't even bother to read about it."

"Tony..."

"No, it's fine." He grumbles, taking the letter from your hands and standing up. "Screw him." Cursed the boy in annoyance, tossing the letter into the fireplace in the room. You frowned, sighing. "We don't need him. I'll take care of you."

You were tired of this. Running a hand through your hair for a moment in frustration, you let Tony take your hands in his as he knelt in front of you next.

"I'm sorry I've been absent this while." He says surprising you. "I hated how all the adults were hiding things from us, and I did the same with you. I promise I will tell you everything from now on."

You nod in understanding, squeezing Tony's hand lightly.

"I need to tell you something too."

And you do. The whole conversation with Wanda and with Professor Fury shock Tony. And he has a frown creased in concern when you finish.

"I know it's a lot." You say. "But I'm terrified. I don't know what will happen to me if I lose Wanda, and all I can do is miss her."

"Hey, it's going to be okay." Tony says tenderly, releasing his hand to caress your cheeks and wipe away the dripping tears. "I won't let anything bad happen to you. I promise."

"What if you can't avoid it, Tony?" you retort softly, your voice whiny.

"I will." He assures you. "I will help you. We'll figure out a way to break this bond, and then you and Wanda will be safe."

You nod, deciding to believe his words. Your brother hugs you next, and you wish he is right.

//-//

Just like you, Tony was also unable to gain access to the restricted section of the library. But that is the least of your problems.

As the date of the last task approaches, you are a pile of nerves. Tony assures you that he will try to find something about ways to break magical bonds on the last trip to Hogsmeade in a local library, but you are barely listening to him, your thoughts wandering towards Wanda.

The other girl, on the other hand, continues to avoid you and your friends. Your only option is to ask Pietro about her, and he assures you that she is as upset as you are as if he is trying to make you feel better somehow. But all this information causes is a worsening of your distress. Pietro is not comfortable coming between you two, so you don't insist that he spend time with you or your friends, knowing that Wanda needs company. You also insist that Gamora and Nebula continue to spend time with the witch, but they comment that Wanda is not really sociable after the whole thing.

The rest of the school starts to notice the way the Maximoffs are no longer hanging out with you, and since everyone in the school loves a little gossip, the news that you and Wanda broke up starts to circulate very quickly.

You don't want your detention for the lake story to escalate, but it's hard to control the urge to jinx your classmates when their snarky remarks reach your ears.

"I heard they broke up because Wanda became a champion, and didn't want to be seen with a hufflepuff anymore." Said in a not so low tone, a Ravenclaw boy as you were walking ahead of them toward the Potions classroom.

"No, dude, that's not true. I heard that Wanda got pretty close to the other champion, Jean Grey, and obviously she'd go for a famous quidditch player than a nobody." Added a female voice, and you clutched the books in your hands tightly, but didn't turn around.

"Come on, the girl's a Stark." Retorted the boy. "I think Maximoff is a winner with either one."

The girl laughed lightly, and you wished you reach the classroom soon.

"I think you're right." The girl spoke up. "Maximoff has always been weird, I don't know how she got such great options."

Your attention wandered from the conversation when Mantis reached you. She went back to the dorm to get the potions book she had forgotten, and frowned at your annoyed posture when she arrived, but when she caught the words of the pair behind you, she threw them an annoyed look that made them fall silent.

"Don't pay any attention to that kind of gossip, Y/N." She asked gently and you just sighed.

"I just wish people would mind their own business." You grumble annoyed and Mantis agrees with a murmur.

Potions class was as difficult as it usually is. What surprised you was Professor Lensherr's tired appearance, but you imagined it must be because of the tournament finals that were being organized by the teachers.

When you were packing your materials, you almost knocked over the glass jar when he appeared in front of you.

"Stark, a word, please." He asked earnestly, and Mantis shot you a glance before hurrying to leave. The professor waited until the room was empty and then nodded to the door, which closed. "Wanda told me about your magic bond."

"Shit." You grumbled immediately, and Professor Erik raised his eyebrows. You cleared your throat, apologizing for cursing. "Look, sir, I don't know what else to say about it. I don't know where the bond came from, and I'm trying to find out..."

"I can help." He interrupts and you fall silent, surprised.

"Really?"

"Yes." He says straightening his posture and crossing his arms. "I obviously have more magical knowledge than you, and your nosy brother." He says and you understand that he is talking about the way Tony has been pestering the teachers to get information. "And if this bond affects Wanda, it is of particular interest to me."

You swallow dryly, nodding in understanding. You explain to him how you feel next, and Erik absorbs your words with a neutral expression.

"Interesting. I had my theories since you couldn't duel with Wanda in the second year, but since you became close, it wasn't my place to intrude.” He tells with a bit of a nostalgic face as you finish speaking. “I have a few questions, Miss Stark. I need clarification on the nature of this bond." He says with his arms still folded across his chest. "Last summer, Wanda had a cold. Did you feel anything?"

You thought about the vacation for a few seconds.

"No, sir." You reply. "I don't remember getting sick."

"I see." He says. "Tell me, have you ever had dragon pox?"

You nod in agreement.

"At how old?" The teacher asks, and you think for a moment.

"I don't know, four I think. Maybe five."

"Wanda had dragon pox when she was six." He declares, his gaze assessing you. You blink, trying to follow what he is trying to say. "It's not a very common disease in England, is it?"

"I don't think so." You mutter without understanding why the professor is looking at you like that.

"Wanda caught the disease in Sokovia, the country where she was born." He recounts. "We were on vacation and she came back sick. The last case of that disease here in England was almost a hundred years ago."

"I guess I'm unlucky then." You try to joke, and Erik almost smiles.

"The flu Wanda had last summer was not of magical origin." He adds, and you frown slightly, not knowing what to make of this information. "But dragon pox is magical in nature."

"Professor I don't..."

"Wanda broke her wrist at the age of seven." He interrupts as he uncrosses his arms, gesturing slightly. "She and Pietro were playing in the backyard, no magic."

"Okay..."

"I imagine Wanda has already talked to you about her exceptional magical abilities, Miss Stark." The professor continues. "Her visible magic, I meant. It started when she was three years old, when she was able to bring her toys into her crib and wrap them all in a magical cloud." Erik tells and you smile briefly at the image of a baby Wanda, but his expression makes you bite the inside of your cheek the next second. "I want to know how much of this you were able to experience, being on the other side of the country."

You swallow dryly, looking away and trying to think back to your childhood.

"I don't know, professor." You reply. "I was a child. Maybe Tony or dad will know something."

"Come on, isn't there anything you can tell me?" He insists. "Any specific memories, any strange dreams? Anything."

You think, and think, but none of your childhood memories seem relevant. And then you frown, remembering one.

"Actually... There was this one time I got really sick. I think I was about eight. Maybe nine, and dad took me to St.Mungus. I had a high fever, and I couldn't sleep at night with nightmares, but I don't remember what happened. They thought it might be the flu, but we never found out what it was. The next day I was better."

Erik was slightly wide-eyed and then he sighed.

"Before she came to Hogwarts, Wanda was afraid of losing control of her magic at school." He starts to tell. "I tried to calm her down, but she was very upset. She managed to convince Pietro to help her into my potions room and took an entire bottle of a brew for magical containment. Her magic seemed almost enraged, and she destroyed the greenhouse with a wave of energy. I've never seen her so out of control." He says thoughtfully, as if remembering the events. "She passed out from exhaustion, and didn't wake up until the morning. She was ten.”

"You don't think...?"

"That's exactly what I think, Miss Stark." He interrupts, "The dates match. Every time Wanda was in danger from a magical source, you were affected, because the nature of your bond with her is magical. And that was confirmed during the tournament by noticing the way you jumped into the lake during the second task. I imagine your little interaction with Professor Heimdall when Wanda was facing the dragon was about this as well?" He asks and you nod your head in confirmation. "Right. Well, that's a problem."

"I noticed." You grumble, but then realize from the professor's expression that in addition to what has been said, it seems to be a problem for another reason. "Why?"

"Regarding your safety, I mean." Explains the professor. "The last task of the tournament is going to be exceptionally challenging, and perhaps not the best of experiences for you."

You widen your eyes in anticipation.

"Professor, what will happen in the third task?"

"I can't tell you." He says. "But there will be many challenges. And Wanda may encounter difficulties, especially since she is only fifteen."

You sigh, trying to push the wave of worry down.

"I hate this tournament." You state in a mumble and Professor Erik gives a short little smile. "I hate to see Wanda in danger. If it's for the gold, she can have all mine."

Erik laughed, and you blinked in surprise at the sound.

"Believe me, I dislike this competition as much as you do." He says. "There is no pleasure in seeing Wanda in danger for something as superficial as eternal glory. But the goblet chose her, and she would have suffered a magical penalty if she didn't obey the contract. It was a difficult decision, but it was the best for her."

You mutter in understanding and the teacher is thoughtful for a few minutes.

"I would recommend you not watch the competition so you don't get so nervous, but clearly distance doesn't matter for the bond." He remarks. "I need more information about how all this works. I want to run some tests with you two."

You frown slightly, but before you can ask what kind of tests, the teacher speaks again.

"That will need to wait, of course. With the competition and the final exams, I understand that you are experiencing enough stress and I don't want to cause any more suffering." He explains. "Over the vacations, perhaps I can write to your father. It's time to see old friends again after all."

You are surprised that the professor makes this mention, but you don't bother to comment. He clears his throat, and signals that this is all. You thank him as you get up and then leave the room.

//-//

When the day of the last task of the tournament finally arrived, the whole school was in a joint peak of excitement.

You could hardly sleep, strange nightmares throughout your entire night combined with the anxiety at the pit of your stomach made you wake up several times during your sleep. In the morning you decided to ignore the buzz around the hallways about the task and the possible winner, and joined your friends for breakfast.

You wanted to talk to Wanda, but you didn't see her at the Slytherin table, and Gamora tried to cheer you up with news about a band you liked playing in London next month, but you could barely force a smile, feeling tired and irritated.

You heard a group of Gryffindors commenting excitedly that the occultation spell had been removed from the quidditch field, and that the gates of something that had been conjured for the last task were already visible, but before you could try to hear what they were saying, the boys were already leaving the hall and Pietro came to talk to you.

"Hey, good morning, how are you?" he asked curiously, taking a seat across from you at the table.

"Not well, if you want to know." You grumbled dejectedly, your fingers lazily stroking the piece of bread on your plate. "What about you?"

"Worried." He replied shrugging his shoulders with a small corner smile. "But I'm optimistic. Wanda is confident, and thinks she can win. And I'm trusting that everything will end well."

The mention of Wanda makes you sigh slightly and lean your chin on your arm on the table, looking at the boy in front of you.

"I miss her, Pietro." You confess upset and ignore the way Gamora and Nebula who are sitting next to the boy look at you with pity, but appreciate how Mantis strokes your back lightly. "She won't talk to me, and I can't blame her or even be mad at her."

"Wanda asked for some time, didn't she?" he asked slightly curious and you grumbled in agreement. "Well, I guess you have the right to ask the same."

You frown in confusion, and Pietro has a little smile as he pours himself some juice.

"What do you mean?" You ask.

"Ask her for, I don't know, five minutes of attention?" He suggests. "Five minutes to at least give her good luck. You look miserable, and I hate to see you like this."

You sigh, thinking about the idea. And then you smile.

"Thanks, P." You say as you raise your head.

"No problem." He says. "You can try now, Wanda should be on the lower floors. She wanted to talk to dad before the task."

You nodded in understanding and then said you would meet your friends outside.

It didn't take long for you to find Wanda. The girl was walking up the stairs as you were coming down, and well, she had no choice but to look at you.

You felt your heart race to have her looking directly at you after so long, but you ignored the sensation as you walked down the steps and stopped in front of her. Wanda swallowed dryly, but held her gaze.

"Hey." You greeted half breathlessly, smiling slightly.

"What do you want?" she asked uncomfortably, her gaze serious. You ignored the seriousness of her words.

"Talk to you."

"I already said I need time."

"I know." You said without hesitation. "But I also have the right to talk. Can you give me five minutes?"

Wanda looked away, and then at her feet. She sighed and nodded, and you waited for her to look at you again before speaking.

"I miss you, Wanda." You confessed and watched Wanda swallow dryly, her eyes filling with tears as she looked away. "And I wanted to wish you good luck in the last task."

Wanda sighed faintly, nodding in understanding, her gaze on the stairs. You raised your finger to her chin, gently turning her face so that she was looking at you. Wanda closed her eyes as you fitted your hand to her cheeks, your thumb stroking her skin tenderly as she leaned into the touch.

Her hand moved up to your forearm the next moment, squeezing before moving your hand away from her face as she pushed your arm away gently.

You sighed, ignoring the feeling in your stomach and the urge to kiss and touch her again.

"Please don't do that." She whispered. "Don't touch me as if you love me as much as I love you."

You gasped, widening your eyes at the confession. But before you could add anything else, footsteps approached and Erik was coming up the stairs behind Wanda. The girl took a step back, wiping her eyes quickly.

"Stark." The professor greeted politely. You had a hard time disguising how much Wanda's words stirred in you. "Wanda, you'd better hurry up for breakfast. The task will start soon."

"Yes, dad." Wanda agrees and she doesn't look at you as she leaves. Erik nods politely and you stand on the steps for long minutes, your heart racing in your chest.

Wanda loves you. And you can't be with her.

Ignoring your broken heart, you turn and walk back into the hall, following the crowd of students who are making their way to the site of the last assignment.

//-//

The third task was a maze full of magical trials.

You gasped as you reached the sight of the large grass ones that were raised at the entrance to the quidditch field and the matched grass gates.

The crowd of students spilled out onto the bleachers set up in front of the maze, and you began to look around for your friends, ignoring the urge to run to Wanda and tell her you loved her back, not wanting to upset her before the task.

When the crowd was fully seated in the stands, and some students were already raising their cheering posters in the air, you watched the tournament judges move along with the faculty as Agatha took her place to announce the start of the competition.

"Hey, it's going to be okay." Gamora whispered to you as the director made the announcements. "I bet Wanda will be back before you can miss her."

You try to smile, your stomach turning in nervousness.

Watching the field below, you see the champions positioning themselves at the entrance.

Jean Grey had the highest score, so she entered first. The Durmstrang students cheering loudly until she disappeared into the maze.

Soon after, Wanda entered. The Slytherin people conjured a serpent of artifice through the air that disappeared as soon as she walked into the maze.

And then Maria Hill last, the Beaubatox crowd clapping their feet until she entered.

Just like the second task, all that was left for the crowd to do was wait once the champions entered. So as soon as the gate closed, the students started talking animatedly among themselves, in addition to the betting chart that began to circulate.

You also noticed that the reporters of the Daily Prophet were asking the cheering people in the front row about the bets for the winners.

Trying to distract yourself from the sense of worry that had taken over you most likely linked to the fact that Wanda was inside a place dangerous enough to kill her, you tried to engage in some of the conversation with your friends.

//-//

With thirty minutes to go, a movement in the field below caught your attention.

"Y/N, isn't that your father?" Gamora asked poking you in the ribs to call you, but you were already looking down.

Your father was not alone. There were four other witches with him that you had never seen before, but judging by their capes, they were aurors from the ministry, as they were dressed exactly like the witches that day in the cup.

There was a sudden movement among the teachers, and then the aurors were opening the gate to the maze and Headmistress Harkness was talking to the judges, all looking extremely worried. The crowd was buzzing, and it didn't take long for the comments to reach you.

"They're saying they're going to cancel the test!" Told a Ravenclaw girl who had just leaned forward to listen to her classmates, and then he turned and said to you and Gamora, making you both widen your eyes. You looked around next, in time to catch Tony coming down the bleachers from the side until he reached your father.

"What do you think happened?" Gamora asked you.

"I don't know, but it doesn't look good." You replied already moving to leave in Tony's direction. Gamora and Nebula looked at you, but you just signaled for them to wait up there.

When you reached Tony and your father, they seemed to be arguing.

"You didn't think to send at least a letter?" Tony squawked angrily, but your father was distracted, looking around and especially back at the entrance to the maze.

"I can't talk now, Tony, please." The man asked. He gave you a short smile as you approached, and Bucky and Steve joined you all next.

"Dad, what's going on?" You asked, but before your father could say anything, the principal was asking the students to return to the castle and the crowd erupted in booing.

The tournament judges were commenting quietly among themselves, and you frowned when Professor Erik approached and whispered something in your father's ear, who made a worried frown.

"Go back to the castle." Your father ordered looking at you and Tony, but you didn't move and Tony pushed your father's hand away.

They began to argue, but you felt your whole body shiver all at once, and you looked back, thinking that someone had called your name.

Professor Erik looked at you curiously, but before he could do anything, you ran past him and into the maze.

//-//

Gasping for breath from the run, you blinked in confusion as you stopped at a crossroads. Your head was spinning slightly, and you looked around.

The maze was dark, and the walls were high and shadowed the path. You noticed that the noise of the crowd was muffled from the inside.

Taking the left path, you were not fully conscious, following only the magnetic energy that seemed to pull you around the correct path.

Your wand was raised to your hand, an illumination spell that you don't remember conjuring. You frowned slightly when you noticed another light, and then Maria Hill was standing in front of you.

"Who are you?" she asked, but you didn't answer, walking past her in a mechanical manner. The girl looked at you with confusion. "Girl, can you hear me?"

"Wanda." You whispered without stopping your walk. Maria hesitated but then began to follow you through the labyrinth.

"Are you hexed?" She asked curiously but got no answer. When she tried to hold you by the shoulders, you pushed her to the ground. "Hey, no need for that!"

You didn't answer and Maria sighed in irritation as she stood up, running lightly to catch up with you as you turned the corner.

The tugging on your abdomen began to get stronger, and then you reached the center of the maze.

"Wow, you found the center." Maria commented in surprise next to you. "But where's the cup?"

You looked around confused, feeling the pain in your head increase.

And then noises of footsteps and shouting became closer and a moment later your father and Professor Erik entered the center through one of the trails.

"Honey!" Your father exclaimed worriedly, but before he could reach you, you fell to your knees, a shrill cry of pain escaping your throat.

Your vision blurred and you had another vision.

It was the graveyard from your dream, but now much clearer than before. You were attached to something, and there was a tall wizard standing in front of you.

The man turned around and you could see his red eyes staring at you with hatred.

"Erik, what is happening to her?" You heard your father's voice sound muffled by the ringing in your ear. You were trying to breathe normally, lying on the grass with your hands on your head.

"Look out, Howard!" It was Professor Erik's voice, but you didn't have the strength to look up.

"Protego!" Someone shouted the incantation next to you, maybe it was Maria but you can't open your eyes to see.

The pain in your head seemed to subside slightly and you forced your gaze upward, not understanding what was happening.

There were two bright lights in front of you. The image was not very clear because of the pain, but you struggled to understand what you were witnessing.

A wizard you didn't know was exchanging spells with Professor Erik. And Bucky was standing next to him, his robotic movements exactly matching those of the mysterious sorcerer. Your father was dueling with the younger one.

The unknown wizard let out an angry grunt, and said something in a language you didn't recognize, and then a green light shot out of Bucky's wand and hit your father in the chest, knocking him backwards.

"Stupefy!" Shouted a female voice from your side, and the spell hit Bucky squarely.

You whimpered in pain again, and could stare no longer.

A few minutes passed before you gasped back to consciousness, or perhaps it was hours. Your tears wet your shirt, and you coughed helplessly.

You raised your eyes to a scene that you didn't understand at first.

There were three people lying on the ground. A man you had never seen before, Bucky and your father, and Professor Erik was kneeling beside the last.

You blinked in confusion and then Tony came running out of the other opening and he widened his eyes when he noticed father.

"Hey, can you stand?" it was Jean Grey beside you. Maria Hill was holding you in her other arm, and you blinked in confusion at both of them.

"Where am I?" you grumbled, and then looked forward again. Tony ran up to your father, and you widened your eyes.

"Dad?" Tony asked with his face wet with tears. "Dad? Wake up!

"Stark..." Erik started as he touched the boy's shoulder, but your brother didn't look at him as he pushed his hand away.

You forced yourself to get up and with the help of the girls you succeeded. You took two steps and then fell to your knees again, understanding what had happened.

You had just witnessed your father being murdered.

//-//

The maze was dismantled from the inside out.

The rest of the teachers moved to remove the incantations and the maze disappeared around you, while you and Tony were kneeling beside the body of your father.

Soon there were reporters trying to reach the center, but Principal Harkness ordered them to stay away.

The aurors from the ministry were also there and they conjured a containment spell around the man who dueled the professor.

"We need to get the children out of here, Harkness." You heard someone say, but their gaze was on your lap, the hand you entwined with your father's.

"We don't know how many of them then here." Another witch said.

"Darlings, let's go inside, okay?" Professor Erik asked you. You were too tired to contradict, but Tony refused.

He said something about responsibility, and they did not contradict him again. You were led out of the maze, however, and the place where the entrance was located was empty.

The reporters who had been thrown out approached you and the ministry's auror immediately as soon as they saw you two, and you blinked at the flashes of the cameras.

"Can you tell us what happened inside the maze Miss Stark?"

"How are you and your brother going to take care of the fortune now that you are Howard's heirs?"

The lack of sensitivity made your stomach turn, but you were too tired to cry.

The auror who was with you said something to keep the reporters away, and then you were taken back to the castle.

"Hey, kid, are you still with me?" The lady asked as she knelt in front of you, her expression concerned.

You sighed, feeling an urgency to close your eyes. You think she called you again before you blacked out.

//-//

When you woke up, it was warm. And when you realized that you were in the infirmary, it took you a few moments to remember everything that had happened. As you did so, you began to cry. Finally understanding that your father was dead.

Your pillow got wet, but you didn't care, finding it hard to see past the tears.

"Hey." It was Tony, looking extremely tired, standing at your bedside. You couldn't tell if he was already there when you woke up, or if he had entered the infirmary at that moment, but you didn't ask. He lay down on the bed with you next, and hugged you.

You know that he was crying too, even though you didn't look at him.

You eventually fell asleep between sobs, and when you woke up again, you were feeling better physically.

Tony was standing in the doorway of the infirmary, talking to the Auror who brought you in. When she noticed you looking, she nodded slightly to Tony and he looked at you, forcing a smile.

The two wizards walked over to you next, and you sat down on the bed.

"Hey, are you feeling better?" Tony asked and you shrugged. "Carol wants to ask you some questions."

You looked away from Tony to the woman, and she looked slightly embarrassed to have to question you after a situation like this, but she did it anyway.

"My name is Carol Danvers, Miss Stark." She introduced herself first. "I am an auror from the ministry of magic. I brought you to the infirmary, can you remember this?"

You nodded in agreement.

"I need to tell you some things, and then I'll ask you about what happened in the maze, okay?" She asked and waited for you to confirm before she started talking.

Carol explained to you how the dark wizard Korvac used polyjuice potion to disguise himself as Professor Fury all year long, and infiltrate the tournament organization. The real Fury was a family friend of the auror and was able to warn her in some way that she didn't tell you, and then the aurors used flu powder to get to Hogwarts. Your father was still an auror in secret to the ministry, and so he also joined the operation group.

When the Aurors arrived, however, Korvac had already entered the maze and they went after him. Neither your father nor the professor were supposed to enter the maze, but when you did, your brother followed, and consequently Steve and Bucky did the same. Your father and the professor went after, but the maze was enchanted to make everyone get lost, and that's exactly what happened. While you were guided by your connection to Wanda, everyone else was lost all around.

Carol told you that Korvac had found Bucky and used the Imperio curse to control him, so he was fighting on behalf of the dark wizard against both your father and your teacher. With Jean Grey's intervention, Bucky was knocked out and Professor Erik hit Korvac, but it was too late.

Everyone eventually found themselves in the middle and the maze was dismantled. Tony had already given his statement to the ministry, and Korvac was sent to Azkaban.

"Your brother told me that you have some kind of magical bond with one of the champions and that's why you went into the maze right?" Carol asked as you wiped away your tears. You sniffled slightly as you confirmed. "Miss Maximoff won the competition and she has also talked to my colleagues about what she saw in the cup portal."

"W-what?" you questioned with confusion.

Carol sighed slightly and then her posture changed. She looked back for a minute.

"Look, I trusted your father. He knew there was corruption in the ministry, and he warned me about it when he recommended me to work with him." She began as if telling a secret. "Let's keep that between us for now. I don't know who I can trust in that department."

Carol told about how the triwizard cup was bewitched to become a portal key, most likely by Korvac. She repeated Wanda's words to you, saying that the girl had ended up in a graveyard with the remnants of Mephisto's followers in place. Wanda also said that Mephisto himself had returned and that they faced each other. She managed to escape by touching the cup again.

What made you angry was knowing that the minister didn't believe any of her words, and refused to acknowledge Mephisto's return. The whole thing would be treated as a trial of the tournament that got out of hand, and Korvac, who had been captured, would be accused of all the crimes.

Carol didn't seem happy with the minister's decision either.

"I have nothing to say but tell the minister to go fuck himself, Carol." You informed irritated and the blonde smiled at you.

"You inherited your father's attitude." She comments and you think the intention is good, but it makes your heart ache. "I will close your statement then. Thank you very much for your time, Miss Stark."

You nod and Carol hesitates. She sighs lightly and touches your brother on the shoulder and your outstretched hand on the bed.

"I used to be friends with your father." She says. "Don't think you are alone, children. You have more family than you can imagine. And you can contact me if you need anything."

Carol smiles and walks away with a nod. You and Tony exchange a slightly surprised look. Tony sighs and sits down next to you on the bed. You say nothing, but you both know that this should be one more among your father's many secrets.

//-//

Nurse Cho released you from the infirmary that same afternoon.

Aside from the mental exhaustion, you were perfectly healthy.

Your friends, with the exception of the Maximoff twins, approach you in the dormitory. They hug you together, mourning the death of your father. You want to say that you feel a little better about this, but that is not true.

As you are seen in the corridors, students and professors stop you to say "my sympathies", and you answer them in a polite way. You can also hear the gossip after all.

Wanda did not obey the order of the minister of magic, and when the journalists of the Daily Prophet asked her about the tournament, she told her version. Nobody bought her story, and she was branded a liar after the minister denied the return of the dark wizard.

Professor Erik also greeted you in the hallways, and Pietro was with him. The boy hugged you tight, and you held back your tears.

"Stark, my home is always open to you and your brother." Erik said as his hand was on your shoulder. "I just want you to know that."

You nodded in understanding and then walked toward the communal hall intending to organize your belongings, since the school year would end that week.

//-//

On your last day at Hogwarts, you finally talked to Wanda.

Because your nightmares had become more frequent than ever, you had spent the last days at school without sleeping properly, and on the last night you gave up sleeping and decided to go to the kitchens.

You were in the empty halls when you heard the familiar noise of Drax monitoring the castle and stumbled to the first door you found, trying to avoid being seen.

As you waited for the hissing noise to become distant, you looked back and gasped in surprise.

There was a girl sitting on the floor and it took you a few seconds to realize that it was Wanda.

"What are you doing here?" You asked curiously, and your voice startled her. She stood up quickly, looking at you in surprise.

"Shit, you scared the hell out of me!" She complained and you frowned slightly as you realized she was crying, but Wanda quickly wiped her face.

Only at that moment did you notice the large antique mirror behind her. On the metal rim was a Latin phrase that you didn't understand.

Biting the inside of your cheeks, you looked away to the floor.

"Sorry to bother you, I couldn't sleep." You mumbled clumsily and Wanda shifted the weight of her feet before clearing her throat.

"Do you wanna stay?"

You raised your head in surprise, but then nodded in agreement.

Walking up to the girl, you stopped about four steps away from her, not knowing exactly what to do next.

"Are you going to tell me what you were doing here?" You asked again, and Wanda bit her lips before turning toward the mirror.

"I found this place in second grade." She counters. "That's the Mirror of Erised."

"I am supposed to know what that means?" You ask with mild irony causing Wanda to smile slightly.

"We studied that in fourth grade, so yes." She retorts.

"I haven't been busy this year, no time for books, if you know what I mean." You say with a smile and Wanda laughs softly. You stare at the mirror in front of you, but there is nothing special about it. It seems to reflect you and Wanda just like any other. "What does this mirror do anyway?"

Wanda turns her face to you, and you want to ignore the nervous feeling that settles on the edge of your stomach, but to no avail.

"Look closer." She says, and her gaze lingers on you for a moment before she takes a step to the side. You turn your face to the mirror again, and then step forward.

It takes a second for the image to change. It is you in the reflection, but you are not alone. Your father is standing beside you, smiling contently. You frown in confusion, gasping slightly at his sudden appearance.

Ignoring the lump in your throat, you continue to stare. The image trembles slightly, and you try to understand what the mirror is telling you. Nothing looks much different except the image of your father, but then you notice the wedding ring in your reflection.

You look down at your hand for a moment and then back at the reflection. Your image copies the movement with delay and you squeeze your eyes shut to read the letters on the ring.

Your face heats up as you read Wanda's name and you take a step back. The image becomes fainter, but doesn't disappear.

"What do you see?" Wanda asks curiously from beside you, and you startle, turning your head to her quickly.

"M-my father." You answer at the same moment, biting your tongue to make sure you don't say anything else. Wanda's expression tumbles, and she looks down at her feet. You swallow dryly.

"I'm sorry, y/n. I really am." She whispers, and you look away. There is something that is bothering you as much as your father's death, and it is the distance that seems to exist between you and Wanda now.

"Thank you." You mumble the response you have learned to give whenever someone says that to you. "W-what do you see in the mirror?" You ask next, trying to change the subject from you. Wanda looks surprised at the question and even in the low lighting, you notice the slight redness in her cheeks.

"My mother." She answers without looking at you. "And... myself. No magic. Just me and her, and Pietro and papa at a distance. We look happy and normal."

It is the most intimate confession Wanda has ever made to you. You want to caress her face, hug her and thank her for her trust, but you just nod in agreement, swallowing her words and pushing the desire to touch down.

"Have you been here many times?" You ask after a moment and Wanda sighs before confirming. "You never told me about this place before."

"I never told anyone." She retorts without sounding angry, just slightly weary. "I guess I wanted it to be something just mine."

"I understand." You comment as you look into the mirror again, the image of your reflection and Wanda's now visible. "A private space for you to visit your mother."

Wanda murmurs in agreement, and you think she won't say anything else, but she does.

"I need to tell you something."

You turn your head toward Wanda's direction, but when she turns her body toward you, she keeps her gaze on the floor.

"About the day of the task." She says. "About Mephisto."

"Okay." You mumble as you wait. Wanda takes a deep breath.

"I guess you've heard from the whole school that I fought with him." She starts with a sad smile, and you nod in agreement. "Well, there's a reason he couldn't kill me."

You frown with confusion.

"Right...why?"

"It’s better if i show you." She takes a deep breath, raising her hands between you. "Can I?" she asks, and you notice the red magic escaping her fingers.

"You can do that?" You ask impressed and Wanda nods with a shy smile. When you consent, she raises her fingers to your forehead and then you have another vision.

You see the moment when Wanda was teleported into the graveyard, and it's as if you're seeing everything through her eyes.

The moment when a hooded wizard appeared and locked Wanda in a spell against one of the tombstones. You watched the wizard walk to the center of the graveyard and conjure a rune on the ground that you didn't recognize. He recited a few words and then cast an incantation in the sky. The mark of a hydra.

Walking back to the rune, the sorcerer deposited a necklace on the ground. With a dagger he took from his pocket, he recited an incantation in a language you didn't recognize, and cut his own palm. When the blood fell on the necklace, Wanda gasped in pain.

The ground around the rune began to open up and a man crawled out of the earth. You imagined it was a necromancy ritual and they were resurrecting someone. You didn't have to ask to know that it was Mephisto.

When the wizard stood up completely, he laughed darkly. The man who helped him bowed.

"Master, you live!" Celebrated the wizard. Mephisto approached, a gentle flick of his wand wiped all the dirt from his robes, and you could see the metallic Hydra strolling along the entire length of his robes, as if getting used to being awake again.

"All thanks to you, John." Mephisto said his deep voice echoing through the room. "Your loyalty will be rewarded, my friend."

"Thank you, master." Said the man without raising his head. Mephisto touched his hood, pulling it back, and you looked at the kneeling figure. He was a man of about thirty, his blond hair was long and dirty. There was a deep scar across his cheek to the extent of his right eye, which was closed.

Mephisto raised his wand toward the young man's face, and a silver spell escaped from the tip along the scar. The mark didn't disappear, but when he opened his eye, you noticed the metallic glow of the reddish iris.

"Be my eyes again, John Walker." Mephisto commanded and the boy thanked him again. He continued kneeling as Mephisto turned toward Wanda, who was still attached to the tombstone. "I almost forgot about my guest of honor."

"Who are you?" Wanda asked angrily, you could almost feel her fear.

Mephisto smiled devilishly, ignoring the question as he took a deep breath. He raised his wand high and the Hydra's mark seemed to glow even brighter.

In the following moments, shadows began to appear in the sky, and only when the first one of them landed on the ground that you understood that they were wizards appearing.

There were at least eight of them, but because of their position, Wanda couldn't see them all. The masked witches remained static, waiting for their companions. Mephisto murmured softly, and after a moment without any movement in the sky, he sighed.

"It is only at our worst that we see who is really loyal to us." He comments somberly, before opening his arms to the crowd. "Friends! It's so good to see you all again, finally. So many years!"

Mephisto's smile doesn't reach his eyes, and then the wizards are kneeling, and recite together an "It is an honor, master." Mephisto laughs lightly, lowering his arms.

"Look at you folks." He comments with a psychotic look on his face. "You're not even ashamed that you abandoned me." He charges, but no one speaks up. Mephisto sighs impatiently. "No one has anything to say? What a disappointment."

"Master..." Started a wizard on the edge and then Mephisto raised his fist toward him hanging him in the air with his magic. Wanda's eyes widened, but the wizard let go just before the one in the air stopped struggling. As the wizard coughed to try to breathe again, Mephisto pushed his long hair out of the front of his face.

"I don't want your hollow apologies, Zemo." He says. "Nothing will erase the betrayal of all of you, cowards."

No one makes any mention of interrupting the speech, and Mephisto puts his cloak away momentarily.

"But a new era begins, and we need to leave the past behind." Says the mage. "I finally have my treasure where I wanted it, and nothing will stop me from reaching my power again."

Mephisto turns to Wanda now, a mental look on his face. The wizards look at her too.

"Master, is this...?" One of the masked men begins, and Mephisto interrupts with a devilish grin.

"Yes, my friend!" He says. "The Scarlet Witch."

The group loosely shares a buzz of excited excitement, but falls silent the next moment. Wanda wriggles uncomfortably against the spell.

"What is it, my dear?" Mephisto asks as he watches her struggle. "Is it tight? Try a coffin underground. I guarantee the discomfort is greater."

The comment makes Wanda clench her jaw as the group lets out a chuckle.

"I'm not who you say I am." Wanda retorts with irritation and Mephisto lets out a laugh approaching. You wish you could enter the vision to get him away from Wanda.

"Your name is Wanda Maximoff." He says looking her straight in the eye. "You were born in 1989 in a dirty muggle neighborhood of Sokovia. And you are a scarlet witch by birth." He narrates and then his gaze changes to malice. "And you belong to me."

"Fuck you."

Wanda's rude response makes Mephisto smile.

"Perhaps you, my dear friends, were not aware of what really happened that night fifteen years ago." Mephisto says as he turns to the group again. "I can only imagine the lies the ministry of magic must have told the world, making sure to tell I was defeated by some of their pathetic aurors."

The group exchanges surprised looks and Mephisto laughs, walking ahead.

"I think everyone has a right to know what really happened that day, don't you, my dear?" He asks Wanda, and then lets out a wry laugh. "Oh, I forgot that you were just a filthy brat back then. I'd better tell them instead."

Wanda struggles against the grip again and Mephisto raises his wand toward her, causing the spell to tighten more and Wanda to grumble in pain.

"Hold still and listen to the story, little brat." He commands. "Didn't the blood traitor teach you manners?"

You know Mephisto is talking about Wanda's father, but the girl doesn't respond to the teasing.

"Do you remember how well everything was going for us, my friends?" Begins the wizard, and he waits for the group to agree before speaking again. "I should have known that the cursed muggles in your community would bring more trouble than I expected."

Mephisto looks slightly nostalgic, but no one is going to interrupt him. He gives a wry laugh before continuing.

"You know that I was seeking the power of a scarlet sorceress for myself. And well, with all the commotion in the ministry, I decided to capture the child without being accompanied by any of you." He says. "I was always the most powerful, but now that I look back, a companion would have prevented so much delay."

When Wanda makes mention of fighting again, Mephisto strengthens the spell.

"I went to take what was rightfully mine in that muggle pigsty that is Sokovia, and I never expected that a filthy muggle would be able to stop me." He tells you and you notice Wanda's interest in the words, curious to know what he was talking about. "Maybe the traitor lied and she had some witch lineage. We'll never know, since I killed her." He comments humorously. "Contextualizing my friends, I went up to the second floor to get the child of prophecy, and I ended up running into two of them."

Mephisto counters with a wry laugh.

"Crazy isn't it?" He says. "But of course it was easy to figure out who the right baby was, since the sorceress' power emanated in the child's aura. I had no function for the other one so I decided to discard it."

Wanda's eyes widen at the confession. Mephisto was going to kill Pietro. She gasps slightly, feeling her anger rising.

"But the muggle pig begged for mercy." He continues. "You know very well how much I hate muggles, but if she had stood in the corner as I told her to do, I would have done no harm. But of course she had to throw herself in front of the infant, become a pathetic martyr."

The group laughs at the narration and you feel like vomiting. Mephisto stared at his own wand for a few seconds.

"I should have realized the sacrificial bond that was created, but I did not expect such a thing from a muggle." He counters somberly, sounding bitter. "When I skipped over her body and repeated the curse, it came straight back to me."

The group let out a chorus of surprise, but Mephisto just smiled.

"Don't worry, friends. I'm here after all." He says. "But a death curse is powerful enough to injure a body. And so I needed to escape." He counters as he walks around. "I would return for the girl as soon as I could restore myself, but where there is one blood traitor there is always another."

The group listened to the story intently and you swallowed dryly, trying to remember all the details.

"The traitor Stark and that muggle slut he called his wife were waiting for me downstairs." Mephisto counters and you hold your breath. "I knew that in my condition I couldn't stand up to an auror like Stark, but he could be useful to me. It was the perfect opportunity to have someone look after my belongings."

Mephisto sighed lightly.

"I think muggles must have some sort of self-sabotaging lifestyles about throwing themselves in front of spells, folks." He mocked causing the group to exchange confused looks. "I aimed at Stark, commanding him to protect what was mine, but it was the muggle who received the enchantment." He counters and you gasp in surprise. "Stark was furious of course, but I used the moments he spent assisting his wife to apparate."

Mephisto's expression was no longer content.

"My body couldn't handle the power of the apparatation, obviously." He counters. "After the curse, it began to betray me. I was on the brink of death for months, until I finally succumbed. My consciousness shallowed, waiting patiently for my faithful followers to find me. And here we are."

The group lets out a small exclamation and Mephisto forces a smile, straightening his posture.

"But that's in the past, of course." He says. "My sorceress is here for me, and I can regain my full power now."

Wanda swallowed dryly as she watched Mephisto approach. The wizard made a motion with his wand and the grip around her neck shortened slightly.

"I never had any use for the witch's receptacle." He says raising his wand to Wanda, you held your breath. "It's nothing personal, dear. At least you'll meet that pig of a mother of yours in hell."

The green incantation comes out of the small wood next, but never reaches Wanda. A yellow energy bumps into the magic and deflects it almost hitting one of the wizards in the circle. The group moves in fright and Mephisto has a psychotic but surprised look on his face.

"The protective spell... How?" he asks, stepping forward. “The spell killed the muggle, I saw her body! How is it still there?” He angrily asks .

His followers look as surprised as he is, and Mephisto assumes an angry expression. He raises his wand again, and even without saying anything, the emerald incantation escapes and the same thing as before happens. Distracted in his frustration, he doesn't notice that with each attempt, the spell binding Wanda grows weaker, until the fourth time he tries to curse the girl, the golden light explodes in the air, ricocheting light startling all the wizards in the circle, as Wanda falls to her knees, free.

The second of shock from the group is enough for Wanda to cause a wave of energy with her powers that kept the wizards away as she reaches for the cup at her feet, teleporting back to the school.

You stumble out of the memory, your eyes watering.

Wanda looks at you, but you turn away feeling overwhelmed by the amount of information.

"W-what was that?" You gasp taking another step back.

"I'm sorry if that was too much." She hastens to say. "I-I needed to tell you. About your mother."

You wipe away the tears, moving further away.

"I can't do this." You grumble. "Not now. M-my father just died, Wanda. I can't. I'm sorry."

The words are a little disjointed, but Wanda understands. She doesn't stop you when you rush to leave the room.

//-//

Coming home is much more difficult than any other time.

The ride on the Hogwarts express is longer than ever, but you don't mind, wanting to avoid the moment when you and Tony will set foot home without your father.

Jarvis picks the four of you up at the station, and you are grateful that Gamora lets you eat all her candy left over from the trip.

The whole feeling of stepping into the house and looking around and seeing your father's objects all around is oppressive, but you try to get used to it. You think the conversation with Tony about your mother can wait.

//-//

Tag list ( let me know if you want to be tagged or removed idk haha) @mionemymind / @abimess / @stephanieromanoff / @yourtaletotell / @tomy5girls / @justagaypanicking / @thegayw1tch / @idek-5 // @myperfectlovepoem // @helloalycia // @ENSORCELLME // @AIMEZVOUSBRAHMS @imapotatao / @aimezvousbrahms/ @ensorcellme/ @helloalycia //   @ichala​ ||  @madamevirgo

[siswritesyanderes]

Do you have friends irl or online that also write fanfics? I write fanfics, but it feels to me at times kind of like…a dirty hobby or something? Even though I don't even write sm.t or anything there's an anxiety I get when I feel like I need to hide my writing or if I'm about to admit that I write that I'm sure is EXACTLY as if I had just been caught with a hentai doujin in my hands.

And it kind of is unfortunate because I think it'd be really cool to have other friends who write fanfics, and maybe we're really passionate about this one character together so we just bounce idea off one another not just as consumers or theorists, but as creators. I feel like I have so many ideas in my head that I end up doing nothing for them because I have no human-to-human outlet to really build them up.

I do have online and irl friends who write fanfiction! At least two irl friends (one of whom is a friend from high school who I still text, and one of whom is a current coworker), and one of my cousins writes fanfiction shipping Cherik from X-Men. I don't mind mentioning to people irl that I write fanfiction, though some people have reactions that suggest they assume it's smut or just would like me to stop talking because they find the subject uninteresting.

But if you know people who you can talk to in-depth about a particular piece of media, and speculate or debate about it with, then the fanfiction conversation can feel like a pretty organic segue from there. If you feel you need to, you could try joking about writing fanfiction, to test the waters, or start the conversation in the realm of "I bet someone has written fanfiction about _," just to start introducing the topic. For me, the trajectory in the past was always "Have you seen/read _? Who's your favorite character? What did you think about _?" And if they give real answers, then those lines of conversation are open. If they don't, then maybe they're not that into it. That's fine.

I guess I've kind of cultivated a persona, with those who know me, so that it isn't surprising that I write and read fanfiction or make YouTube videos about how I would write the Tiana show or drive an hour out of the way to try a Quaker meeting just to see what it's like even though I really, really don't like driving. I was weird enough as a kid that I'm now in a place where I have learned through trial and error how to catch the nonverbal cues that someone doesn't want to keep talking about something, and as long as I disengage when I think I'm supposed to, I can pretty much say anything. That being said, no one in my real life reads my fanfiction, lol. That one work friend I mentioned has read my Birds of Prey fic, but that's about it.

I do get super embarrassed of the smut that I write. Not so much the commissioned smut; I'm willing to tell some people irl about that. (I have told my mom "Someone is paying me to write fanfiction about having sex with Mad Eye Moody," before, and I wasn't embarrassed.) But I could never tell a person I know irl about the lemons I write without being asked. I would be much too embarrassed, and also I'm positive that half of them would use it as "proof" against me being asexual.

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

Unexpected Places (Pt. 01 of 11)

Pairing: Ivar the Boneless X Reader/Bjorn X Reader

Word count: 2.8 K

Summary: As a princess, you've lived in a golden cage all your life, always a piece on someone else's game. But everything changed when the Norsemen came crushing down on Wessex, like waves in a violent storm. Their king spared your life and decided to take you with him to his kingdom, in what felt more like a rescue than a kidnapping. There, you were not only confronted with a completely different culture and lifestyle, but also with two of his sons. The oldest one has his eyes set on you, but it's the youngest one, Ivar, who gets who claimed your attention since the first sight. And he seems to have an unnamed interest in you. Of course you hoped whatever that was would pass, but when unexpected feelings start to flow a different way, things begin to change.

Next part (02)->

{Vikings Masterlist}

×

Sailing Into The Unknown

Walking fast, you keep up with the two Norsemen coming right behind you. Unlike the rest of your maids, who were caught hiding or trying to leave the castle, you were found in your chambers. You knew they'd find you, one way or another, and you'll have much more to gain if you keep fear and despair away from your mind.

You knew this day would come. Your father, the King, was sure of it, and so were you. The political implications of King Ecbert and King Aelle in the last years brought you to this moment. An attack was imminent, and when you were told the Vikings were once again clashing on your cost like the waves, you knew this was inevitable. The only thing you can hope now is that they'll either let you live or give you a quick death. You're a threat, that's obvious. Aethelwulf may be the heir, but you're forth in line after his two sons. And that puts you in a dangerous position.

A yelp from one of your maids gets your attention, and you give her a look. You get why they're scared. These men look like monsters to them, speaking a strange language, dressed in dark, hard material, covered in blood. And everything they were told about the Norsemen, is that they're all savages. Worse than animals, soulless. Fortunately for you, one of the few things you actually wanted to do that your father allowed was to learn the Vikings language. Ecbert taught you himself, and you feel relieved to know what they're saying.

When you reach the main hall, you're pushed to the center, near a table. The maids all stick together, trying to pull you with them as they fall to the ground, using their skirts to dry off the tears. But you stand up, looking around. The place is flooded by them, the so-called monsters. Some are chatting, laughing even. Some of them have their eyes on you and on the other ladies. There's no way to know what will happen next, but you know who's in charge here.

The legend, the man they believe to be a descendant from the Pagan god, Odin. Ragnar Lothbrok. If you want to stand a chance to get out of here alive, that's the man you need to talk to. And, as if being called, he comes from the hall, alongside two other men. He looks, at the same time, exactly how your father described, but also very different. A paradox. His eyes scan the room, and, as you make your way over him, they lay on you.

One of the men who were with him come forward, standing on your way. Looking up, you sustain his stare. “I wish to speak with Ragnar.” You say, trying not to smile at the confused expression on the man's face. Nobody here expects you to speak their language.

“Princess (Y/N).” Ragnar sings songs, and the man steps aside. He has an axe in his hand, playing with it as he comes closer to you. “I was just having a small chat with your dear father.”

“Did you kill him?” The answer is obvious, but still, you need to know. The funny expression on his face changes and he pinches his eyebrows together “My father always said that, if he had to die at all, he'd like to be killed by you.”

“Oh.” He exclaims, glancing at someone behind you. “His wish was granted.”

Nodding to yourself, you look down. You have been preparing yourself for this moment ever since the news of Ragnar's return arrived, but still, your heart sinks a little. “Alright then.” It sounds stupid to ask him to simply let you go. This won't happen. Still, you don't want to face death scared, like your maids, crying and yelling. So, standing before Ragnar, you push your hair away from your shoulders, exposing your neck. “Do it already.” With both hands on your hips, you take a deep breath.

But Ragnar doesn't move, his lips break into a smile. Slowly, he leans closer, his mouth on your ear. “What are you doing?”

“I know you'll kill me. But I don't want to go like them.” Tilting your head at your maids, you shrug your shoulders. “I don't want to be taken as a slave either. So I guess that's it, king Ragnar.” Unlike him, you keep your voice as loud as before. You don't mind being heard.

“Do you–”

Ragnar is cut off by someone's shouts. Soon enough, a man comes, being held by two of the Norsemen. When they move a little, you recognize Edward, the man you were supposed to marry in a short amount of time. He's hurt, a black eye and a wounded lip. The men throw him on the floor, and he stands on his knees. Perhaps you should pity him... But no. It may not be kind of you, but you can't pretend you feel something you don't.

“Princess (Y/N), my lady.” He mumbles, trying to get to his feet and failing. “Stay away from them.”

Ignoring him, you turn to face Ragnar again. “As I was saying, there's no other option in this situation, so you might as well get done with it.” Giving the axe a look, you raise your eyes again. “I'm ready.”

“Don't be stupid, (Y/N)! Get away from him!” Edward shouts, and you run a hand through your hair, frustrated. Even now, he still tries to tell you what to do. You're tired of being ordered around. At least in death, you want to make it on your way.

“Shut up, Edward!” You burst out, moving to stand a few feet away from him, talking in his language since, of course, he wouldn't even dream of learning the pagans tongue. “It's over, don't you see it? We're both dying today, and honestly...” Now, you can say it. You can finally say it, and you can't help but smile. You'll be dead in a minute, but you never felt so... Free. “I'm happy my fate is to die by the Vikings... That's far better than marrying you.”

When you're done talking, Edward jerks forward, too fast, managing to grab your arm with one hand and hitting your face with the back of the other. You taste blood on your mouth, falling to the ground, but easily pushing yourself back up as the Norsemen pull him back, away from you. “You little whore!” He tries to set free, but it's useless. A laugh escapes your lips. “I'm so glad you'll die today. I'm so glad you'll join your devil of a father.”

With a hand on your jaw, you stare at him, shaking your head lightly. “You call then savages, but you were the only one in this room to hit me.” Turning away from him, you return to where Ragnar stands, watching the whole commotion. “So, king Ragnar?”

You can tell he's thinking. About what, you have no idea. From what you've heard, they don't need much thought before killing someone. “I could kill you right here, princess, but this speech you just gave got me interested.” Pacing around you, he swings his axe, resting it on his shoulder. “My wife, a former princess herself, might actually like you.”

“Aslaug?” A man says, and Ragnar looks at him. Following his gaze, you see a man with blond, dirty hair, pulled back in some kind of braid. “She hates Christians. I don't see how she'll like this one.”

“Well, I've never seen a Christian act like this. Have you, Bjorn?”

“No.” The man admits, eyes finally meeting yours, just before you look away from him.

“Well, my wife has been pissing me off lately, so anything that might distract her for a bit sounds like a good idea to me.” He speaks slow, and some people laugh. “So, Princess (Y/N). I will let you chose your fate.” He's back at your face, looking down at you. “Would you rather come with me to Kattegat, or would you rather die here, with your crying maids?”

Giving the women a look, you weigh the odds. Death is final, the very end. Life is full of possibilities... But are you willing to risk it? “Would you keep me safe? I mean...” Gesturing at the other men, you sigh. “I'm sure you understand what I mean.”

“Nobody touches the princess,” Ragnar yells, his voice echoing through the walls. “Is that enough?” He asks you in a much lower voice.

“I guess it is.”

That said, he walks away. Following him with your eyes, you see as he stops by Bjorn. Bjorn Ironside, his oldest son. His name is also well known here. Ragnar tells him something before disappearing, and his son gives you a look. It doesn't take long for you to understand Ragnar told Bjorn to keep an eye on you, since, as you walk down the beach to the boats, Bjorn silently walks beside you, like a bodyguard. He helps you climb up on to the boat, a strong hand on your waist, pushing you up.

When you finally start sailing, you get an idea of their army. Too many boats, filled with far too many warriors. You can't help but make your way to the back of the boat, watching as your home grows distant. But calling it home is a compliment. This was just somewhere you lived, surrounded by people who always expected something of you. Where you were forced to act a certain way, just because you were unlucky enough to be born a princess.

What's coming now, is completely unexpected, unforeseen. If anyone ever told you you'd be sailing away from Wessex, in a Viking boat, you wouldn't believe them. But the feeling that really gets to you, leaving you utterly perplexed is that you feel... Good. Free, even. You can't even count how many times you desired you could just disappear, leave everything behind and go somewhere entirely new. Maybe you're crazy, your mind completely lost already, but you somehow find joy in it. In sailing away, into the unknown, with the very people you were taught to hate and fear.

But this is far better than what your future was holding back there. An unhappy marriage with a disgusting man. This is far better.

Days after you left Wessex, a violent storm starts falling at daybreak. The rain comes lightly at first, but by the moment you stand up, it starts pouring. One of Ragnar's friends, named Floki, stays on the edge of the boat, holding on tight with one arm, the other stretched out. He's laughing, saying things you don't quite understand the meaning of. It's about Thor, and Odin, and othter of their gods. He seems unaffected by the crashing waves. Stumbling, you leave the protection of this dark fabric they hanged above the ship, getting on your knees next to Floki. You don't know what's soaking you, the rain, or the waves, high enough to hit the boat.

“Hear this, Princess?” Floki yells, trying to make himself heard above the deafening sounds. “This is–” A huge wave hits both of you, and Floki almost falls back. But he regains his balance, laughing even louder.

“Will the boat sink?” You ask him, yelling at the top of your lungs. “I can't swim! If we sink, I'll drown.”

“So will I,” Floki answers, glancing at you before turning his attention back at the ocean. This makes you burst into laughter too because you never thought someone who can't swim would face the waves like this.

“(Y/N)!” Someone calls, and you turn around, pushing wet hair away from your face. Bjorn comes your way, grabbing both your arms and helping you stand up. “What are you doing here?”

“She's mesmerized by the powerful waves!” Another wave, hitting both you and Bjorn as well. You're knocked down, your back against Bjorn's chest. But despite the sting you fell on your leg, Floki's laughter makes you giggle. These people are crazy. Nobody on Wessex would be this happy, this carefree in such a storm.

“Come.” Bjorn pulls you with him, back to the safety of the handmade roof. He helps you settle down, and as he does, you lock eyes with him. You've never seen blue eyes like this. “Stay out of the rain.”

“Floki is in the rain. Why can't I?” You snap back, not really enjoying the bossy tone.

“Let the girl have her fun, Bjorn.” You recognize Ragnar's voice, and you find him rowing, trying to keep the boat moving despite the violent waves. There's an empty seat beside him, so, pushing yourself up, you make your way there.

“Mind if I help?”

“If you think you can.” He breathes out, and you nod, grabbing the oar. “Keep it steady... Push, then pull.” He tells you, and you mimic his movements. The thing is heavy, and it takes only a few seconds for your arms to start hurting. But you keep up, ignoring the looks you're getting. No woman would be allowed to do such thing in Wessex. So you're enjoying it, even though you're strength is nothing compared to the rest of them.

When the heavy clouds are blown away, and the sky is once again blue and serene, you bend over the edge of the boat a little, just to better see where the ocean meets the sky, on the horizon. The chaos was replaced by a low chattering, laughter, and giggles. You're mostly on our own, not really speaking to anyone but Ragnar. He's a curious man, and he's curious about you. You're not sure why though.

“Here.” A voice makes you turn around, sitting down. Bjorn offers you a cup of water, which you take and drink after muttering a ‘thank you’. When you give him the empty cup, you wait for him to walk away so you can resume your horizon watching, but instead, he settles down beside you, letting out a heavy breath. “We'll reach Kattegat in a few days.”

“Finally.” You burst out, playing with the tips of your hair. “Sick and tired of this boat already.” Chuckling, you glance at him. He's already staring. “So... Bjorn Ironside. What are you doing talking to a Christian? People here don't really seem to be fond of me.”

“The truth is they're trying to figure you out.” Bjorn lowers his voice, and your eyes scan through the men. “Ever since you stood up with your neck exposed to my father's axe.”

It doesn't seem much of a big deal to you. “I just didn't want to die like those other girls. Whining and crying.” Shrugging your shoulders, you sigh. “I mean, I really thought there would be no other way, so I'd face death with some dignity.”

“Don't tell anyone I said this but...” He leans closer until you feel his breath on your ear. “You kinda sounded like a Viking right now.” Then, he stands up and leaves, back to his chores.

You're confused, to say the least, but you guess that was a compliment coming from a Viking himself. Taking a deep breath, you move to where you were, staring at the calming waves.

And Bjorn was right. Eight days after, you're arriving at Kattegat. The many boats stop at the decks, and yours is one of the first. There's a sea of people here, waiting for their loved ones. As you step out of the boat, you don't really know where to go. Everyone is hugging, kissing, telling about the successful raid. You just start walking then, following the flow until you feel someone grabbing your arm. “This way,” Bjorn says, tilting his head at where his father is going. “He wants to introduce you to Aslaug.”

The Queen who hates Christians. Great.

The main hall of Ragnar's house is full. First, he talks to the people, telling them everything they took, everything they found. There's a huge fire in the center, flames reaching high. You're at the corner, half-hidden behind Bjorn's shoulder, eyes flying through the place. You quickly recognize the Queen, seated on a chair beside Ragnar. She's very pretty, dark hair cut off to her shoulders. But she looks... Bored. Very uninterested in this.

By her side, close to the floor, you find a pair of eyes set on you. It takes you by surprise since you weren't expecting anyone to find you among all the people. But he did. Ragnar told you a little about him. His youngest son, Ivar, the Boneless. The cripple. It's not hard to recognize him, but your eyes don't search for his deformity. They're locked on his face, trying to read it, trying to understand why he won't look away.

Suddenly, everybody standing in front of you moves, creating a passage that leads to the very center of the hall. Glancing at Bjorn, you see when he gestures for you to go. And so you do, stopping only when you're standing before Aslaug. She doesn't seem very happy about it.

“And who this might be?” She asks, taking a sip from her cup.

“This is King Ecbert's daughter, princess (Y/N).” Ragnar answers. “She has some spirit, so I thought she'd make a good friend for you since you too were a princess once.”

“A Viking princess.” She snaps, looking you up and down.

You should probably say something, but what? The woman doesn't like you, and why would she? The big question now is what will happen to you next.

“(Y/N) isn't like the other women,” Bjorn speaks up, and you give him a look. He's pacing around, playing with a knife. “While her maids were sobbing and begging for their lives, she stood before Ragnar, accepting her fate. I've never seen one of their women do anything like that.” You don't get why he's doing this. Probably Ragnar's orders, or something like that. “She even helped with the oars when a storm reached us, after staying on the edge with that crazy ass Floki over there.” He gestures at the man, who loudly giggles.

“And what does this all mean?” Aslaug breathes out, clearly annoyed.

“Why don't you give her a chance, wife?” Ragnar sits back on his chair, taking Aslaug's hand. “Talk to her, see if there's anything in common and if you don't like her, well... I can send her to live with Lagertha.”

“Who's Lagertha?” You mutter, to nobody in particular.

But the name makes Aslaug sigh, and she stands up, putting the cup down. “Fine then. Come with me.”

With no other choice, you follow her inside. But on your way, you walk by Ivar, who's holding a clutch. You try hard no to, but your eyes find him nevertheless. He quickly looks away, and you keep walking, deciding not to give it much thought. He probably despises you like most of the people here.

Aslaug has some slaves prepare you a warm bath. And, much to your dislike, she stays in the room as you take off your clothes and step inside the tub. But it doesn't take long for you to relax as one of the girls starts washing and brushing your hair.

“Did you sleep with my husband?” The question comes with an angry voice, and you're not sure what startles you more. The anger or the question itself.

“Of course not.” She gets on your sight, pacing around.

“Do you want to sleep with my husband?”

Then, it clicks. She thinks Ragnar brought you here because he desires you. And that's a very dangerous thought for a Queen to have. “No, I don't.” Resting both your arms on the edges of the tub, you look up at her. “And even if he wants to sleep with me, I won't accept it. That's not the reason why I'm here.”

“And why are you here, so far from home, little princess?” She doesn't sound like she actually wants to know, but you get the feeling that this time you can actually say the truth. Here, there's no reason to keep it hidden, locked in. You can say how you feel about everything, even the things that could've got you imprisoned or even dead in Wessex.

“I'm willing to tell you if you're willing to listen, Queen Aslaug.”

At first, there's silence. But then, Aslaug drags a chair, placing it near the tub before sitting down. “Well, since I have nothing better to do at the moment, let's hear it.”

×

@multific @revolution-starter @crackhead1-800 @youbloodymadgenius @clown-boyyy @kitten0394 @castielsangelx-blog @goldlion07 @alwaysadreamingoptimist @midnightmystic

[toujoursmiraculous]

Thoughts and Reaction to Guiltrip!

Alright, so this one is a bit more of a serious one for me. But I'll be going in order of the episode so the more serious talk will be a bit further down! First thing we get is this lovely moment:

I've already addressed it in a post, but I'll say it again here. Guiltrip is episode 11, several episodes take place before Guiltrip that we haven't seen yet, so this is awhile after Marinette and Luka broke up. We also know that Marinette has always had feelings for Adrien, even when she was with Luka. Luka always knew that fact too. None of this is new and is to be expected, obviously, when Love Square is endgame. But! I also want to point out here that this is just a soft look. Very gentle, very common. I see people looking at each other both in real life and in other shows all the time. A look that says "I adore you". And I think it's sweet! Very subtle, but enough. Something's wrong with Rose. We never get told (in this episode anyway) what it is, but it's a chronic illness that's a worry in Rose's life, ever since she was young. I feel really bad for Juleka, knowing that her friend's been struggling with an illness, and whenever something happens she has to worry about it alone. Also that really sucks when you try to cheer somebody up and make a joke, that because you were mislead about a situation you end up making things worse. Poor Marinette. :c Adrien when he realizes he's bumped into someone (and the pink bubbles to remind us of Marinette's feelings for him):

Adrien when he realizes just who it was he bumped into!:

Scroll up now and look at how Marinette was looking at Adrien earlier that day. It's the exact same look. Yet, something feels different from usual to me, idk. But continuing on. Marinette gets slightly jumbled with her words, but manages to give herself a kick and says nope not now! Good for her! You can't expect to change overnight, but she's working on it.

She looks to the side, gathering her surroundings for a split second and she misses the top step. I'd like to say that this is just a joke for the show but well, this kind of thing has happened to me a lot because I'm that much of a klutz so I feel for her here. (On Halloween I forgot that there was another step as I was walking down as I wasn't paying attention. I couldn't walk on my foot for 2 weeks. It's a serious problem, guys. Really. xDD) Marinette had told Adrien she's concerned it was something she said that upset Juleka and Adrien tells her while sometimes she doesn't make sense, what she says is never mean. This scene reminds me of when Ladybug's worried about something and Chat Noir's there to keep her grounded and remind her of how things really are. I very much appreciate seeing such a scene with Adrienette! Makes the Love Square much more rounded. Also the way he stops her and says let him go talk to her to try to help the situation and any possible misunderstandings from taking place. ;-;

Can I just say... oh my gosh. He went from determined, to hearing Marinette trying to comfort her, to looking with confidence "This girl is amazing." and the whole Ladynoir vibe I'm getting from this scene makes me happy. The thing that's unrealistic about this scene though is you expect to tell me that 8 kids went down those stairs and came up behind them and Marinette, Adrien, and Juleka didn't hear? XD Now here's where the serious comes in. Rose is hospitalized with an illness we don't know about, but has been a long-term thing that has Juleka really worried a lot. That must be so stressful :c I'm going to be honest and say I never really saw Julerose romantically. Like I can see how people do, but to me, I could see that their bond was really unique. It didn't really fit completely in the "BFF" category either. But if felt like there was more to them that I didn't really understand. I think the best example off the top of my head was during Zombizou, when Rose was going to help Chloe after she slid down Chat's stick and she went too fast for him to catch her. Juleka seemed especially worried and concerned for her. Rose never seemed to get concerned about Juleka in the same way Juleka was about Rose. Juleka's always been more protective and worried and it was always one of those things that made me go "hmm, interesting". Now this episode finally explains why and I'm honestly super glad for it. Because this kind of a relationship is not a common one in media, especially kids media. Partially because having such serious illnesses in young people is not particularly common, and having someone who's so caring and protective of that person is even less common. And most people probably don't realize how amazing it is to have health problems and then have someone in their life who acts like Juleka does for Rose. I had a life-threatening illness as a kid, one that still affects me greatly today. When in school, my friends knew about it without me having to say anything unfortunately, and while they didn't usually treat me differently, sometimes they were pretty ignorant and didn't understand why I wasn't "normal" like them. They asked questions that were harder ones to answer, and tended to forget my answers. I got a lot of "I know you have X problem but I still don't see why you can't..." as well as thinking I was lying if I said I wasn't well and couldn't go to a party, and that was hard to deal with, being limited in what you can do which makes you different and being judged for things out of your control. So seeing these kids who only know something's wrong with her, but are willing to do so much to make her life better and happier, not judging her at all, wanting to take care of her no questions asked was really heart-warming for me. I only had one friend during that time that was anything close to this. I never had to explain anything to him if I didn't want to. He never asked me personal questions I didn't want to answer. And he seemed to know what he could do to make things for me easier if I was having a hard time without me ever saying so. And this is another reminder to me that this show is aimed at kids. To show kids that they'll likely encounter someone around their age that's going through something serious like a health problem, and what that kid needs most is kindness and not to be made to feel like they're even more different from the other kids than they already feel. The way they handled that aspect of it for such a short, limited intro to it, I think they did good. I discussed this next bit with a friend. She mentioned it first, the trope where those with chronic or serious illnesses are usually an "inspiration". With this episode, you kind of get the feeling that because Rose's been through so much, she's therefore a really positive and bubbly person and it kind of gives off the vibe that if you don't view things the way she does, then you're not doing it right. "What matters isn't the problem, but how you handle it." While I agree with this, and that when you come out of or regularly deal with

such hard times, automatically trying to see the world better and brighter can easily happen, but it's not exactly realistic either, at least not to the extent Rose and other people the media has portrayed. For one, I think you have to have always been more of that kind of person from the start to realistically be so positive. As my friend said and I agree, positivity is just who Rose is, she's not who she is just for the sake of a trope. But honestly, when you've gone through something so difficult, and if life continues to throw you more difficulties on top of it, being positive so much can sometimes turn into a negative and be harmful too. When you've been through a lot, it's important to allow yourself to feel the negative too because it's part of dealing with such problems. And if you've been through a lot in life and you haven't come out of it being all sunshine and rainbows, always looking on the brighter side of things, that's perfectly okay. Life's hard and tends not to work out how we'd like, or even for the better sometimes. If being positive and hopeful after struggling is hard to do, you're not bad or wrong for feeling that way, everybody handles things differently. c: ANYWAY, moving on to the rest of the episode! Juleka being all irritated and worried that the class was going to expose her spilling Rose's secret xD While the situation isn't ideal, it's nice that this is the most involved she's seemed with everyone in the entire duration of the show. But Rose knows something's up, and I love that she talks to her about it and realizes that she should've told everyone herself instead of Juleka being the only one who knew. Which has been such a burden on her. (Oh no, what if this is a reflection of Alya knowing Marinette's Ladybug later on? I'm hoping not.) Ugh these children and how much they care about Rose! These kids are the absolute best. But then they kind of ruin it a little with going overboard. Which, frankly, I think is just ignorance of her situation really. I mean, we don't know what exactly is wrong with Rose. Just that she ends up in the hospital. If they knew about her condition, what causes her to get sick, what to look out for, etc, they'd be much more informed and much less likely to be frantic whenever something's not perfectly "normal" with her. All of these kids are going to be overprotective parents someday, aren't they?

Okay so like... are Adrien and Marinette going to question at all how Ladybug and Chat Noir showed up immediately after Juleka was akumatized, and no damage had happened outside of the school for it to be known to the public? Literally the only ones that could've possibly known were the class to have shown up that fast. ??? I am confusion. "I can't help my best friend face his father." "No, Nino..." Two things: The fact that THIS is what he's feeling guilty about? My poor Nino! Dx I just love him, he really doesn't get enough love and appreciation imo. Also, um, isn't Ladybug like right by Chat? Didn't she hear that? What? Idk but I feel like we're really missing something here. Usually we get things that are kind of hints, that make us wonder if they know right, but this? This is a bit too blaring-in-your-face, and there's two major things so close together. Really strange. Chat about to use Cataclysm on himself. Good grief that was not expected. Chat Blanc threatened to destroy himself along with everything else. Now Chat Noir while affected with negative emotions from an akuma almost Cataclysmed himself. This show really is getting deep and dark isn't it. o.o Also is there something Adrien needs to work out with someone...? Daizzi and Rose saying the other's so cute, ugh they're both so cute! And Pigella's costume and transformation is so adorable omg. Okay so Pigella's power allows people to see their biggest wish, the thing that'd make them the most happy and feel positive emotions. I know some people probably think "That's it?" Considering that Shadow Moth preys on people's negative emotions, such a power is actually extremely useful facing Shadow Moth. (And let's not forget, that while that's her power, she has the ability to fight and make a difference just from being transformed too) BUT AWWW Juleka's wish! And her face when Pigella said it aloud. ;-; Am I the only one wondering if Pigella may someday use her power on Shadow Moth and that's how they learn his motive? I'm so impressed with how Rose knew how to handle everything. She knew she can't slip up with Juleka. She knew to sneak away to detransform and come back as Rose. She knew to subtly give the Miraculous back so nobody would ever know she had it. Even Chat Noir had no idea! I don't know why, I'm just so very proud of that. "She doesn't need a Miraculous to be a superhero." She really has the characteristics of one, and I can't wait to see more of Pigella. Also I'm really wondering. This scene here:

All the kids that are part of that friend group are there...except Marinette and Adrien, of course. Alya knows why Marinette isn't there. But is she wondering about why Adrien isn't there too? LOL Marinette being like "I'm taking your pillow back, sorry! Gotta wait for it like everyone else." and the boys being like LE GASP. Marinette's right, she's not fragile! The fact Rose jokes with her and makes everyone laugh, and Chloe saying "Hey, why doesn't everyone laugh when I say something like that?!" Adrien: Because in your case, it's never a joke. Chloe: Hm, that's true. Which is super funny, especially how he just so casually says it. But also it really shows again how Chloe wants to be liked. She wishes the kids would laugh when she makes comments, but it's because they're said in a serious/obnoxious way, instead of making light of something like in Rose's case here, that they don't. I know she talked about it with Ladybug in an episode, but it again shows that that's what she'd like. All that needs to happen is someone helping her get there. Maybe Zoe and Luka will somehow help with that later on. Anyway, this was a really great episode! I feel like some things might not make quite as much sense as they should if we got it in order, but what can you do when Gloob has to air them? Even a friend of mine who's been doing what she can to avoid spoilers, still got spoiled. She's having to delete tumblr to avoid future spoilers because people can't help themselves and tag things properly. So thanks Gloob. :P All we wanted was the episodes in order. We've waited this long for S4, we can wait a bit longer. But they gotta make money I guess. I'm glad other countries are trying their best to keep it in order anyway. c: Guiltrip also has some really great Adrienette moments, and covered a more serious topic which was really interesting and shows how much the show's changing. Especially with some of the choice of camera angles and movements! Like the zoom-in on the door with Adrien and Marinette, the boys LE GASP scene. Very cool artistic choices! Looking forward to the episodes that come before this one to try to help fill in some of the gaps! And apologies to those that frequently read these posts from me, I started writing it up late and couldn't finish so you get it the day after instead. xD