#but im happier than I was a couple of years ago

[thunderc1an]

tldr: for christmas my mom got me blanket with stolen warriors fanart

[teabutmakeitazure]

told my mom I don't feel like her daughter or blood because of the way she treats my cousin and she told me I'm being ridiculous and petty

[roseband]

ppl complaining about the new legally blonde prequel coming out didn't seem to get the movie cause elle WAS interesting and smart from the get go????

"i have a 4.0...." "but in fashion merchandising"

girlie's got a business related degree from the beginning, even if it's a "frivolous" thing

i think u rlly missed the main idea?

[vampirebloodie]

Adam Stanheight x reader? Like how Lawrence describes his daughter & wife, have Adam describe his relationship with the reader.

Hope you like it, anon! <3

Best Thing In My Life | Adam Faulkner-Stanheight x Reader

Summary: You carry Adam's baby and the position of the best thing in his life

The time in that bathroom seemed like it would never end, Lawrence and Adam were still trying to understand what they should do to get out of that trap without physical harm. They had already understood that they needed to cut off their own leg that was trapped in chains, but where would they get the courage to do something like that? Lawrence looked at the photo of his family tied up there, helpless, not knowing what he could do to help Alison and their daughter.

“I feel horrible that i can’t help them. Alison and Diana are everything to me. I know i made a mistake cheating on Alison, but i love her since we met years ago. She is the woman of my life.”

The doctor lamented, he didn't even have enough water in his body to shed tears.

“I wonder if they did something to Y/n like they did to them.”

Adam said leaning against the wall, inside he was in pure despair, but he tried to hide it as much as possible, he didn't want to appear weak, no matter how weak he was.

“Y/n? Your relative?”

He asked.

“Something more than that. She is the best thing in my life. Is my girlfriend. I don’t think they would have the courage to do anything to her.”

“If they did something to a child like mine, why wouldn’t they do it to your girlfriend?”

Lawrence asked and Adam ignored his rude question.

“She is not alone. She's pregnant, carrying my baby. I was dedicating myself so much to photography to support both of us and him or her.”

Adam ran his hand over his face, starting to cry. Lawrence was silent for a few seconds before sighing, he was a little shocked now, Adam is gonna be a dad, just like him. If they were close to each other, they would definitely have hugged each other at that moment.

"I'm so sorry."

“I... She was the best thing that ever happened to me. I was bullied a lot in high school for being introverted, she was a new student, in the first week without even knowing me she helped me and stopped them from hitting me. She started hanging out with me and even though she was teased for being pretty and hanging out with a "weirdo" like me, she never stopped. After that i started to look at her like the wonder woman of my dreams, we've been together for 7 years and counting, in fact i was planning to surprise her and ask her to marry me, until i ended up here. She probably came home and saw everything set up, but she didn't saw me there. ”

He explained with a sad face.

"Don't worry. We’re going to get out of here and you’re going to see her again. I want to see my family too. Alison and i are not what we used to be, but i know she still loves me as much as i love her, the feeling may have cooled, but our love for Diana can overcome everything. My little girl is such a miracle in our life, she is so smart and curious. Just like her mother when was a teenager. I'm so proud of my baby”

Gordon said smiling, Adam started running his hands through his jeans looking for something, until he took a photo out of one of the pockets and showed it to Lawrence.

“Look look, at least he didn’t take that from me.”

Lawrence couldn't deny it, she really was very beautiful and had a magical smile that could easily charm anyone who passed by her. The photo showed her and Adam together holding a pregnancy test in one hand and a photograph of an ultrasound in the other hand, smiling extremely happily as a couple in love should be.

“She’s beautiful, isn’t she? She is the love of my life, she is everything to me, she is the thing i am most grateful for having in my life. My family never supported me in being a photographer, unlike her who always helped me despite all the judgments. Being with her every day makes me happier and warms my heart, it's like im in paradise and she's my goddess. ”

Adam said smiling silly caressing the photo, the blonde laughed.

"Do not laugh. Lawrence, im really scared i'll never leave here and i won’t be able to see her again.” He admitted, frustrated.

"Ok ok, we going to get out of here, we’re going to find a way to do this, you’re going to find your wife, even if i leave first and come back for you.”

"You promise?"

“I promise you, Adam.”

Final note: please, reblog if you liked! 💖

[lambtotheslaughterr]

Im actually so shocked that your blog is so underated I mean YOUR FICS ARE SO SO GOOD no hate to other rafe writers but I feel like they all write the same stuff which is kind of boring but your ideas are just wows also yours writing is like way better than other people fics which get like 600 likes I just wanted to say that And PLEASE PLEASE never stop writing 🫶

Also sorry for any mistakes English is not my first language

awh bby love, thank you💛😭

i see what you mean about a lot of rafe writers writing about the same thing & i can understand how that can be boring. i suppose that’s why i always push myself to write content that may not have been done before but i’m also not above writing the typical stuff you’d see (like my Always You fic is a very common rafe cameron story imo) but i do seriously appreciate the love & recognition you are spoiling me w.

though i am bummed that i’m still a smaller less successful blog than others, i’m not bitter about it. writing for rafe cameron & other popular characters is a competitive field. but i don’t view it as a competition, i’m just happy to have a reason to write & practice my storytelling skills & explore new themes/worlds & if people like it then that’s just a bonus🥰

alas, i will NEVER stop writing teehee. i had a fanfic blog on here years ago (like 8 years ago) that was fairly popular for the people i wrote fanfics about (couple thousand readers) but ultimately decided to stop writing for that blog as i was writing fanfic about real people (it was all fluff & light hearted romance stuff) but writing about real people made my uncomfy.

i never thought i’d return to tumblr as a fanfic writer again but here i am & while this blog is way less successful (as far as numbers go) than my old one, i am much happier on this account & that’s all that really matters to me.

but thank you again for this love, darlin’, you are making me swell😍

muah😘😘

[f0linasahl0]

feeling sad when i remember when sai first came out that i didn't like it because it sounded so different to what was usual. like my dad (who knows next to nothing about the story) was like "well look what's happening in the world right now. he wanted to make a happier sounding album" and i understood that. i got that and i mean back then the songs were good but i didn't really understand what what's happening i kinda drifted away.

though recently i got back into their music to fill the void of losing a different sense of comfort i had. i started listening to their music older again prior to "i am clancy" and post that video and overcompensate i listened to sai more and realized, past the story arch of why the album sounds that way, it is a genuinely good sounding album. i wish i took advantage of liking it when it first came out and maybe i could've experienced more of what was happening around that time rather than watching (recently realized [as in as short as a couple weeks ago to a year ago]) shitty mcyts from 2020-2023😐.

idk i have a lot of thoughts. though sai grew on me, i like the vibe of it and i like the lore implications of why it was so different. idk i feel bad for not liking it but idk its weird how my brain works sometimes 🤷.

the same thing happened with lane boy. the first couple of times i didn't like it but im like "no im going to go force myself into liking it" and i listened to it enough times to be like "no this is a good song" like i did with sai and "no this is actually a good album."

i love this band so much it's insane 💀

[thisgirlnamedblusy]

hii! im kinda having a hard time rn so i wanted to request a marilyn x fem reader. they are gfs and both work at nevermore. the reader is having a hard time with some stuff and marilyn starts to notice over a couple of days (at the house and at the school). marilyn sits the reader down and tries to talk with them but the reader just says they’re “fine”.

a couple days later while they are doing their routine before work and the reader starts breaking down into tears and explains to marilyn how they are feeling. (a lot of fluff/marilyn going full protective mode)

Yess!!! Since I've read you're not okay, I decided to give priority to your request. Look, I don't know what are the problems you're having, but you have to know that everything always is gonna be all right. I suffered a lot of problems when I was at school years ago, and those days were the worst of my life.

But now I'm a new person, and I don't care what other people thinks about me. I know I can't do nothing to cheer you up, all I can do is to write this for you, and to let you to know that here is a friend to listen to you if you want to talk to someone!! Be strong and love yourself, it's the only way to happiness :)

Every little thing, gonna be all right

Pairing: Marilyn Thornhill x Fem, Teacher! Reader

Warnings: Angst, hurt & comfort, mentions of depression

Word count: 2,254

Summary: You’re having a hard time, and there is no one who could cheer you up, or so you thought

N/A: Requests are open!!! Sorry about the delays, I’m working hard on your requests. I love you all!!! Sorry about the language mistakes, and please, be happy, life is wonderful!!!

The beep of the alarm clock brought you out of one of your anguishing nightmares. Normally you had no problem getting up, but for a few days, it was more difficult than ever. You turned off that horrible sound with a sudden blow and looked at the ceiling with a blank look.

“Another shitty day…” You whispered in a low voice.

Next to you, your girlfriend moved as she did every morning, hugging you half asleep.

“Good morning… (Y/N),” she said with her voice still asleep.

You hugged her to your chest.

Marilyn wasn't the problem. There was really nothing wrong with your life. You had a job, a house, a perfect girlfriend. Anyone looking at your life from the outside could be envious. That wasn't what made you wake up tired, sad.

It was some kind of transitory phase, or so you thought. Stress was also to blame. It was exam time and you had a lot of work. You stayed up very late correcting and that also led to a terrible lack of sleep.

You were depressed, listless, but you couldn't show it, not in front of her. Marilyn was so kind and so protective that she would surely call Larissa to tell her that you couldn't go to work, that you needed her care and words of encouragement. You probably needed them, but you didn't want to admit it.

It was enough that you were like this. You didn't want your girlfriend to suffer. She was too empathetic and you didn't want to give her a hard time. You decided to hide.

“Good morning, Mari,” you said, feigning a happier tone. She snuggled closer to you with a warm smile.

“I don't want to go to work…” She whispered childishly. “I want to stay here with you.”

If it wasn't for her, you'd be completely lost. Her words were the only thing that kept you tied to reality. Without her you would have gone completely crazy.

A thunder was heard outside. The weather was not helping your spirit. It hadn't stopped raining for three days, and that could depress even Marilyn, who always seemed like the happiest person in the world.

The idea of getting out of work was tempting, but you shook your head, noticing how the redhead fell asleep again.

“Come on, lazy girl. Larissa is going to kill us if we're late again,” you said, shaking her gently. She made a groan of protest as you pulled back the covers and looked up at you with a tired look.

“Lately we've never been late…” She sighed, sitting up on the bed. You were taking off your pajamas to get into the shower and you looked at her with some embarrassment. She was right. Normally your love made you lose track of time in the mornings. You've already been reprimanded several times for being more than an hour late.

But not anymore. You hadn't made love for days. You knew Marilyn didn't want to bring it up. Your tiredness was very evident in your eyes. You felt guilty, worthless for not being able to give your girlfriend all the love you had for her. That conversation would come soon, but you tried to make it as late as possible.

“I know, there's a lot of work and…” You started to excuse yourself, taking off your pajama shirt. Marilyn smiled warmly at you, and she hugged you from behind, kissing your now bare shoulder.

“Calm down, (Y/N). It wasn't a reproach...” She whispered to you, giving you a pat on the back. “Just an observation,” she teased, winking at you.

You made a superhuman effort to smile back as you went into the bathroom. A hot shower would certainly do you good, but you can’t have good luck even with that.

“Ahhh! Damn!” You yelled, feeling a jet of icy water on your body. Marilyn ran in.

“My God, what's wrong?” The redhead asked, stunned by your abrupt reaction.

“The, the hot water…” You stammered. “It, it doesn't work…” Your words trailed off at the same time that the water began to heat up.

Marilyn shook her head and gave a slightly wary smile.

“(Y/N), you have to wait a while, you know…” She told you, incredulous by your reaction.

You were angry. Angry for making a fool of yourself, for feeling frustrated and for not being able to vent. You would never think of paying for it with her. It wasn't her fault, no one was.

Things were as always. A hot shower with your girlfriend, a quick breakfast, and a horrible cold when you leave the house.

“Let's go in my car today,” you said, pressing the keys’ button. Marilyn nodded, but when she turned her gaze, her face changed.

“Umm, (Y/N)…” she said shyly, nodding towards the vehicle.

“What?” You asked, opening the door. The rain was starting to wear off your patience. Marilyn only pointed to one of the wheels. “Oh, no”

It was punctured. Definitely everything around you seemed to be against you. You snorted and leaned your head against the vehicle.

“Surely it was the other day branch. I told you we should have taken a better look,” The redhead said, putting a hand on your back.

You pursed your lips and stepped away from the car. You had to make a great effort not to answer rudely or abruptly.

“Yeah, I've noticed, thanks,” you said with your voice a little wrapped in anger.

The road to Nevermore was as boring as ever. Whenever you weren't driving, you were the DJ, playing upbeat and uplifting music to start the day off right. Not that day, you only listened to the local radio station.

“(Y/N), are you alright? Normally I have to fight with you to turn down the music,” Marilyn asked you.

You looked at her briefly and then put your head back on your hand.

“My head hurts,” you lied, although the lie was even worse.

“Don't worry, when we arrive we'll ask the nurse for an aspirin and…”

“No, no, no. I'll pass. It must be the pressure change due to the storm...”

There was no further conversation and you were grateful that it was so. You didn't want to speak badly to her, she didn't deserve it. She gave everything for you, always, and you used to do the same. You used to.

The classes were bad. Your patience was running low, and you didn't feel like joking like you used to. You were abrupt, sulking, not wanting to put up with the whispers of the kids. Naturally they noticed and kept silent, looking at you almost fearfully.

The bell rang and you felt a certain release.

“Go away...” You sighed, letting yourself fall into the chair. The students looked at you strangely, surely wondering where their usual teacher was, the one who always joked when explaining a writer’s life.

It was too late for lunch and too early to dinner. You pulled out a file cabinet full of overdue papers and began to read them, angrily pulling out your red marker. There was going to be a lot of bad results.  

“Stupid, stupid!” You said furiously, putting a huge X on one of the jobs. “It's not Marie Curie, it's Mary Shelley, you idiot!”

“(Y/N), don't be so hard on them, they do what they can,” the redhead told you, leaning on the door.

You shook your head and closed your eyes, trying to stay calm.

“What are you doing here?” You asked, noticing how hard it was for you to move your muscles to fake a smile.

“You haven't come for lunch, I assumed you were busy,” she said bending down to give you a kiss. “Oh, I almost forgot, here.”

Marilyn reached into her pocket and offered you what looked like one of your favorite candy bars.

“Thank you Marilyn, you're always taking care of me…” You sighed, taking the appetizer and looking at it melancholy. The redhead bent down and she kissed you again, but this time she didn't pull away, she just stared at you, as if she was examining your expression.

“Honey, lately you've been a bit... Apathetic. Excuse me but I think something is wrong with you,” she told you, caressing your cheek.

Nothing went unnoticed by her. You shook your head, feeling a familiar ache in your throat and the sensation of blurry vision.

“N, no… I'm fine, Mari, just a little tired,” you said, praying that the tears weren't too evident in your eyes.

“Sweetie… If something happens to you, all you have to do is…”

“I'm fine, Marilyn, really. I'm sorry, but I'm kind of busy and…”

Your girlfriend's look turned sad, disappointed, but she nodded and walked out the door without saying a word.

You couldn't feel worse.

The rest of the day was boring. Marilyn came to see you a couple of times, and you to her, but barely speaking. You only looked into space with a lost look, noticing how the gray clouds in the sky were a faithful reflection of your feelings.

The next day…

That thunderous beeping again. That beep that brought you back to reality. The routine was slowly killing you.

When you opened your eyes you didn't even feel like complaining or saying a bad word. You just got out of bed, not letting Marilyn hold you. You walked towards the kitchen as if you were a zombie, an automaton condemned to do the same thing over and over again. You started the coffee maker and you stayed contemplating how the coffee was coming out.

“(Y/N), you woke up early…” A sleepy Marilyn said, walking towards you and hugging you from behind, kissing your shoulder like every day.

“I wanted to make coffee…” You said resignedly, taking two cups from the cupboard. “Do you want some?”

“Of course,” she told you happily, sitting on the stool.

You ate breakfast in silence. Marilyn seemed just as happy as ever, but you were staring at the mesmerized counter and its design marks.

“I've been thinking…” Marilyn said as she got dressed. You were sitting on the bed and you looked at her slowly, coming out of your dark world of sadness and desolation. We could go on vacation in two weeks. “You know... Just you and me, with no Nevermore, no students or exams.”

You nodded with a slight smile. You still had the towel wrapped around your body. Your clothes for that day were on top of a chair, but something prevented you from taking them. Maybe it was the weather.

“I have thought about Florida. Also, we can go to see alligators, I know you like them.”

You couldn't take it anymore. The tears that were forming in your eyes finally found their way down your cheeks. It was a lot of pressure kept for many days. At some point they had to get out.

Marilyn turned around and her face changed completely. She ran towards you and crouched looking at you concerned, grabbing your hand.

“My girl… If you don't like Florida we can go to another…”

“No, it's not that, Mari…” You sobbed, grabbing her hand tightly. “I lied to you, Marilyn.”

“What?” She asked scared.

“Yes, something is wrong with me, I just, I just don't know what it is...”

“My love... Why didn't you tell me?”

“I didn't know what to tell you... I don't know what's wrong with me...” You said broken into tears. Marilyn sat next to you on the bed and wiped away your tears.

“Try it, honey… I want to help you,” she told you softly. You shook your head and took a breath.

“I feel submerged in a gray and routine world. Everything is stressful. The classes, the exams. I feel as if I were in a hamster wheel, rolling over and over again,” you explained in the best way that your tears allowed.

“That's normal, honey, it happens to a lot of people…” She told you, holding your other hand.

“I Don't know. I don't feel like anything…” You kept crying, being unable to stop yourself.

“My poor girl…” She whispered, pulling you towards her. “Come here, let me give you some love...”

Gently, Marilyn cradled you in her arms. Your tears wouldn't stop coming, but it was comforting to let them go. You had been holding them back for a long time. You didn't know exactly what the reasons were, but little by little you began to feel better, feeling safe as she slowly cooed to you. The silence was broken by a soft hum.

“Mmmm, don't worry… about a thing…” She sang softly. Her voice was so soft that it made your heart beat faster. “Come on, you know the lyrics...”

“Cause…Every Little thing…Gonna be all right…” You sang with a broken voice…

You stayed that way for a moment, singing softly as you swayed.

It was hard to believe, but you felt much better. She was everything you could want. Sometimes you doubted that she was normi. She had the power to paint the grayest things in many colors, to make the sun rise in the cloudiest and stormiest sky.

“Marilyn…” You said, wiping away what was left of your tears.

“Hmm?”

“I would really like to go on vacation with you… Wherever you want…”

The redhead smiled and she kissed you on the lips, probably sensing the salty taste of your tears.

“I love you, (Y/N)…” “Me too Mari… Me too…”

[erotomanicpixiedreamgirl]

hi my ex was like your bf and i was truly convinced there was no one out there for me whom i could love more than him and no one who could love me back (the love i was receiving = not texting me for weeks at a time when we didn't even meet irl) and also he would ignore me a lot and yeah. he didn't even have work or anything to be busy with he just blamed it on whatever mental health issue he could (while he was hanging out with other friends).

anyway after that ended i somehow found a puppy boy who makes me happier than anything and texts me the most random things everyday while he's at work and wants to talk to me everyday for the past 3 yrs. im just saying even if you feel like there's no one else out there for you that may be your heart lying to you because our hearts lie to us all the time for the people we love. after my breakup with my ex i was convinced i could never love someone that much again but i did and i have received so much love it's insane to think what i was settling for a couple years ago.

nothing i say can change your decision but i wish you the best and hope you realize you deserve better

i mean i get what you’re saying but honestly my man offers a lot more than that and i see this as a character flaw if anything. it’s still shitty but i it’s something he just has to work on. if it’s still a problem when he is away for a longer period of time then yeah it’s an issue.

[cemetery14]

me comparing akashi to billie songs : )

the time has come for me to rant about why almost all of my akashi playlist is billie eilish, sometimes im bad at wording my thoughts and i just wanna go "yknow that one billie eilish lyric? yeah thats him"

idk why i just really relate music to whatever in into at the moment, like obsessively

a couple are just gonna be vibe based but some will also be very detailed 0_0 im just gonna go in order of my playlist

i dont need to explain myself on this one but,,, he literally had a "nah im gonna be the bad guy" moment

"I had a dream I got everything I wanted Not what you'd think And if I'm being honest"

akashi winning everything and being perfect at everything and realizing that it brings him no joy

"It might've been a nightmare To anyone who might care"

"Nobody even noticed I saw them standing right there Kinda thought they might care"

'kinda thought they might care' this song really makes me think of akashi in teiko and realizing that none of the miracles care about him the way he cares about them, and none of them tried to help him if anything they made it worse

"I tried to scream But my head was underwater They called me weak Like I'm not just somebody's daughter"

"And it feels like yesterday was a year ago But I don't wanna let anybody know 'Cause everybody wants something from me now And I don't wanna let 'em down"

"If I knew it all then would I do it again? Would I do it again? If they knew what they said would go straight to my head What would they say instead?"

i love that last line for him 'would i do it again' 'what would they say instead' if only they knew how fragile akashi was would they have treated him differently? would akashi have wanted them to treat him differently?

"I used to float, now I just fall down I used to know but I'm not sure now What I was made for"

"Looked so alive, turns out I'm not real Just something you paid for What was I made for?"

akashi struggling with his own identify after being used by other his whole life

"I don't know how to feel But I wanna try I don't know how to feel But someday, I might"

"When did it end? All the enjoyment I'm sad again, don't tell my boyfriend"

akashi going from loving basketball to just seeing it as another thing he needs to win at

"Think I forgot how to be happy Something I'm not, but something I can be Something I wait for Something I'm made for"

this song makes me think of akashi and mayuzumi :>

"I'm getting older, I think I'm aging well I wish someone had told me I'd be doing this by myself There's reasons that I'm thankful, there's a lot I'm grateful for But it's different when a stranger's always waiting at your door Which is ironic 'cause the strangers seem to want me more Than anyone before"

i bet akashi has a hard time making friendships with people his age, or just friendships in general

he deals alot with people older than him, like teachers and im sure his dad already had his talking with business partners and such

"Can't shake the feeling that I'm just bad at healing And maybe that's the reason every sentence sounds rehearsed Which is ironic because when I wasn't honest, I was still being ignored (Lying for attention just to get neglection) Now we're estranged"

neglect neglect neglect akashi is a victim of neglect, GIVE HIM ATTENTION OR HES GONNA ACT OUT

"Things I once enjoyed (ah-ah) Just keep me employed now Things I'm longing for Someday, I'll be bored of"

akashis love for basketball being twisted into just another thing hes expected to win

"I'm getting older, I've got more on my shoulders But I'm getting better at admitting when I'm wrong I'm happier than ever, at least that's my endeavor To keep myself together and prioritize my pleasure 'Cause to be honest, I just wish that what I promise Would depend on what I'm given (not on his permission) (Wasn't my decision) to be abused, mmm"

'im happier than ever at least thats my endeavor to keep myself together and prioritize my pleasure'

THIS LINE AAAAAAAAA this is how i would describe akashis character post birthday over, i just think it perfectly encapsulates him and how hes doing

"They're gonna tell you what you wanna hear Then they're gonna disappear Gonna claim you like a souvenir Just to sell you in a year"

akashi being taken advantage of

"I'm overheated, can't be defeated Can't be deleted, can't un-believe it I'm overheated, can't be defeated Can't be deleted, can't be repeated I'm overheated"

kinda vibes based but it makes me think of akashi and how he constantly has to be ON for interviews or just interacting with people he knows since hes extremely popular and how overwhelming it must get

"Did you think I'd show up in a limousine? (No) Had to save my money for security Got a stalker walkin' up and down the street Says he's Satan and he'd like to meet I bought a secret house when I was seventeen (Ha) Haven't had a party since I got the keys Had a pretty boy over, but he couldn't stay On his way out, made him sign an NDA, mm"

"You couldn't save me, but you can't let me go, oh, no I can crave you, but you don't need to know, oh-oh"

"At least I gave him somethin' he can cry about I thought about my future, but I want it now, oh-oh-oh Want it now, mm-mm-mm You can't give me up"

"Did I take it too far? Now I know what you are You hit me so hard I saw stars Think I took it too far When I sold you my heart How'd it get so dark? I saw stars Stars"

vibes based but like, heavy vibes

being rich and popular at such young age like EVERYONE knows akashi, having rapid success at such a younge age must be crazy

i also have I Didnt Change My Number, Therefore I Am, and You Should See Me In A Crown but those are mostly vibes based

i love you should see me in a crown for akashi, pretty boy on a power trip <3

[guccifrog]

rant abt my cousin i said i was gonna do a week ago, 🤪. but fr im actually about to cry rn. so me and my cousin were born 3 months apart and we have been like inseparable since forever. she got her best friend in fucking like 4th grade and i never got a best friend, she was my best friend. i never really minded it until 7th grade when i started dating my girlfriend, who was... kinda weird. but so was i. my cousin was always more popular than me in school, whatever. BUT i think when i started to hang out with the "weird" kids, she started thinking i was weird, like them. im not saying they were really weird but they were... really weird💀. anyways, me and my cousin were really close all through that time. but in seventh or eighth grade, the fact that my best friend was my literal cousin and she had like 10 friends that were higher on her list than me, was starting to get to me. in seventh grade i remember i was really depressed cus of my girlfriend (OF TEN FUCKING MONTHS WHO BROKE UP WITH ME💔 i was eleven but my heart was broken) was really toxic. in eighth grade, i lost most of my friends, like i went from 10 to 4 over the summer. i thought i was happier but i wasnt 💀 and then my cousin started getting more distant and acting really fake. then a couple years pass, and shes still the fakest "friend" ever but she was my best friend. if she was just my friend and she wasnt my only friend, i would have dropped her, like instantly in eighth grade BUT she was my cousin and she was my rock. i relied on that bitch for EVERYTHING but she didnt like me ig? and shes kinda a bad person, like she was talking to this guy but he couldnt date until he was 16 so she turned her ass around and started flirting with this other guy a week after telling me she might be falling in love and continuing to talk to this guy and "fall in love with him" like??? but she didnt want to tell the guy who couldnt date that she liked this other guy cus it would hurt his feelings.... but now when i see her in the hallways of my school, or outside of my school, she side eyes me and doesnt say anything. she judges me for everything i do when we are actually having a conversation and she acts like she hates me. but she wont fucking talk about it. she wont tell me she doesnt want to talk to me anymore. i get that were cousins, but if you hated me, why would you beg me to go to the same high school as you??? why would you convince me to be in some class I don't want to take (avid) just for you to switch outta that class once the semester starts??? why would you take a bunch of cute and embarrassing and funny pictures of me when we are hanging out at my grandmas house just to fucking ignore me at school? but shes my cousin 💔💔

ok, im done, love ya 😘🫶

listen I understand were you're coming from but relationships evolve and people change over time so I'd say you should like sit down and have a talk with her like "hey whatever her name is I feel like you've changed the way you treat me and i don't like that so please explain why because I deserve to know" because you do and no one deserves to be treated like shit without a reason

[fallouttboy]

hi my english major is having a field day rn at 2:20 in the morning so i will do what i do best and write about it and hopefully it makes sense

sometimes i think about how i went to london as a graduation present for getting my ba in english and then i think about how for 5 days i was walking the same soil as poets and artists and musicians walked all those years ago. the same cobblestone walkways that were walked upon by shelley. the same lakes at which writers pondered their mere existence at, longing for the current to take away their pain so they can begrudgingly release a happier serial this month instead of the bleak and dreary that their audience so loves (but would their audience love them at their happy or is their misery the key to success?).

i cried when i woke up on the plane and saw english pastures, blocked out like a quilt of green and yellow, crops in the off season but still taking up their space. i breathed in the cool november air at the airport and realized that this truly was just where i was meant to be.

i find home to be a tricky word to define. when i was fourteen i described it “not as your physical space-though that can be true too- but wherever you feel like you belong”. at the time, i knew the feeling but did not have the words to articulate yet. i still don’t fully believe that i do, though now i certainly have more of a grasp on the concept of home. fourteen year old me was correct, though i am now abridging the concept: home is where your soul becomes one with your body. some people may have one home, others have many, and im thankfully one who has a couple that i am aware of.

for me, it was walking around alone in london, and even deeper so as i was walking in salisbury and at stonehenge. i took a moment in the courtyard of the majestic Salisbury Cathedral (post tour of the site and post adjacent market wandering) and admired her. i had never seen a proper gothic cathedral before, from actual gothic times. i had never seen anything older than, oh, jamestown in virginia? to see something of such grandeur and age in person stunned me to silence. i was shocked. i was in awe. i was almost frightened by the rate at which my emotions and heart were pounding in unison. as the clouds rolled in for yet another rainy night, i understood in that moment the purpose that i had been considering for years: life, as an experience, is not meant to be viewed from the same window. you are meant to see the world, meant to experience exactly what i have been saying in this post.

being a human extends so far beyond the realm at which we typically function at (generalizing!). it is not just you. it is you, your ancestors, their ancestors. it is the poetry that rings bells in your mind. it is music that was written 500 years ago and yet you have never heard a truer piece of art. it is the cave paintings that bring a tear to your eye because they were made by humans.

and one thing that is sometimes difficult to conceptualize is the fact that artists are human. just like you and me. the people who created the cave pieces are human. they were depicting their lives: the local wildlife, who they lived with, how and what they ate. it was them telling a story of themselves. all of the great writers, and all of the not great writers, were all humans and they all depicted emotions that are, more times than not, just impossible to put words to in ways that are better than theirs. all of the greek scholars that came up with math concepts and the cartographers from new zealand that created maps of the ocean thousands of years ago-all of them were human. they are just as much a part of us as the dirt is of the earth.

art is the key. art has always been and will always be the whole fucking point. humans will, as long as we can, create art (in whatever medium) to express our lives. we want to express ourselves. we want to be seen. we want to be known.

[blehfundiesims]

Gen 1 families overview

Now that the gen 2 kids are starting to get older, I'm going to stop focusing on the gen 1 kids and will probably remove them from my game. However, i am going to talk about how they are doing and where im leaving them. Just FYI, I don't let my non heir sims have more than 6 kids even if they are quiverfull. Bye gen 1

Carley's family

(First up is Carley and Trent they have 6 kids because I don't let non heirs have more than that, but if they could, they would have much more. All of their kids, but one will be fundie. Their 3 oldest kids are married, and they feel very self righteous about how watcherly their kids are. Trent is now a junior pastor at their church, and they are very comfortable for a fundie family.)

Asher's family

(Asher and Roxana are doing great they have had minimal contact with Asher's more fundie family since Esther's phone call all those years ago, and they couldn't be happier. They have very stable teaching jobs in Evergreen Harbor and a great church that they attend. Their daughter Emma recently graduated from BU with a business degree, and she is getting her real estate license. Sadly, their dog Emma 2 passed sometime while Emma was in college, and they miss her dearly.)

Rebecca's Family

(Rebecca and Annabel are still enjoying life in San My but are now looking for a move to del sol valley for Annabel's beginning acting career. They are still madly in love with each other and can't wait to see where life takes them next. Rebecca has also begun writing a series of romance novels that audiences are loving.)

Leah's family

(Leah and Ismael live relatively average fundie lives in their little community in Sulani. After some consideration, they decided to just have 2 children. Little do they know that Kaylie is getting more and more annoyed with her upbringing and that on top of realizing she likes women. She is already planning her escape when she goes to college. They don't have to worry about little Sophia though. She is already buying into the fundie plan and will give them no problems.)

Malachi Family

(Malachi has been doing great he and a couple of buddies have opened a gym in the spice district, and it's doing very well. He and his long-term girlfriend Kari are doing great, and they have started looking at rings together.)

Dayton's Family

(Dayton and Denise are chilling they are slightly more religious than Asher but still not fundie. Denise works a simple desk job at a company that does business or something. Dayton makes canoes and sells them at various craft shows. Jett, their oldest, attends a watcherly private school, and the younger ones are in public school. Virtually none of their 4 kids will have much to do with religion, and they will be pretty ok with that)

Beck's Family

(Beck and Everly are living a strict life as junior pastors at Oasis Springs. first church of watcher and poor Everly is miserable all ready. They have 4 kids right now, but they would definitely have more in the future. And thanks to the crazy strict household, none of their kids are getting out of fundie land...yay)

Isobel's Family

(Isobel is loving her life. Lillian has been such an easy kid and is so funny. Isobel does freelance hairstyling and has a simstagram for her business, and Damien works for his dad insurance company. They still live in a mansion in Del Sol and are so happy that Rebecca and Annabel might be moving there)

(Also, Oliver and Allison are elders now)

.

And with that, we close the book on the Gen 1 families. They will probably be referenced in passing but not in pictures. They were a fun bunch

[bugsinthebayou]

is it weird to "miss" soupmoths?

my time as soupmoths was fun. soup madness was at its height, i had recently gotten into the mechs and tma, i was also super into hermitcraft. i was... really happy? i think? during that era.

i am not the same person i was back then. it was barely a full year ago and yet if i were to change my url from donatelloturtle to soupmoths i would feel like i were wearing a mask made out of the skin of a younger me.

i am still me. the baselines of me are still there. still silly. still autistic (even more so). still having a good time. still into what i was into back then.

what do i feel nostalgic for? if anything, im happier now than i was then. i dont want to return to that. but i look back on that era with fond nostalgia and i just dont remember why.

perhaps its because it spanned such a long time.

my other urls. they all have one, at most two, things associated with them. there was a main profile picture and a main thing id post about.

eyemoths? tma. no icon or color remembered. lasted a couple weeks at most. thestarshipaurora. the mechs. tim pfp, lot of brown. lasted a couple months. casinomoths. lifesteal. the art of csoupie, brown and pink. lasted a month? wlttebane. toh + tdp. caleb and callum icons, lots of yellow and brown. lasted a couple months. sonadowt4t. sonic. shadow pfp, brown and yellow with vague black n red for colors. lasted a couple months?

but soupmoths.... soupmoths was long.

soupmoths lasted 8-ish months, spanned multiple interests (the primary one was hermitcraft), icons, and colors.

perhaps soupmoths' vagueness in what it was is what gives me such a feeling of nostalgia? is it nostalgia?

soupmoths was me, at their core. they still had their fascination with the ocean and dinosaurs they still loved their friends in the same way i do. and yet i still feel like we're so different.

it's just what growing up is like, im aware.

its still just such an odd feeling. its not too dissimilar to how i feel to me prior to figuring out im trans. (hell, even me after finding out im trans. ive been through a lot of change these past few years.) just... less intense?

i suppose it just might because soupmoths was more "solid" than other eras.

eh. i dunno. i dont know shit about the brain

[jaegersmoon]

aim,

when it feels like the current world is collapsing on you, what do you do to escape?

OB is genuinely such a safe space for me. im 18yo rn and i'm going through the shit y/n went through almost word for word. i'm stuck in my shitty home town. my dad's an ass, but one good thing is i was able to break up w my porco. i thought it'd make me feel much happier and in a way it does, but the trauma he left behind will still fucking linger till the end of time and that's what hurts sm.

i feel like i'm stuck in a pithole. i really really need someone to tell me it gets better bc i feel so alone rn. whatever asshole told u that ur writing is not good is clearly wrong because ur fic was literally my safe space. safer than the 'friends' ive known for years. safer than my ex. safer than even my own dad. i love u <33

Trigger warning: Abusive relationships.

First, I want to say that I am so proud of you for feeling like you could come to my tumblr and talk about this.

I'm choked up writing this because of how sorry I am that you have endured what you have. Know that I admire you for pushing through every single day, even when you don't want to. Even when it's easier to give up than stand up. It pains me to know that I can't snap my fingers and make it all better for you. If I could, I would because I know how hard and painful it is to experience what you are right now. I see you, and I hear you, and I am listening.

I understand your trauma, and I want you to know that what you are feeling at this stage of your life is common. Your relationship wasn’t normal. You experienced things that no one ever should. It's unfair because you are stuck dealing with something within you that was placed there by the hands of others while all you ever tried to do was love. The things you went though altered your brain chemistry in a way that not everyone can understand unless they have been through something similar. It changes the way you see things, the way you see yourself, and how you live.

"No one talk about how hard it is to recover from abuse love after the abuser is gone."

He took pieces of you with him. That is what people like Porco do. It is how they live, how they breathe, and how they strive. It's sick, and it's twisted, and devastating. They make you feel like you are the darkness that will damage all things you touch, when in reality it’s them. They are like leeches who only live when they are stripping you of who you used to be and making you feel like you will never be worth more than what they make you feel like you are. They are miserable people who want nothing more than to make sure you are miserable too.

You got away. You broke free from him. That's what matters. Not the time lost or the things you wish you could go back and change. I am so proud of you because you made the impossible possible for yourself. You saw you were worth more than what you were faced with and you did something about it. That is huge progress in itself. It takes so much to be able to do that and you did. Now you have the power to take your life back and build yourself better.

Healing, in general, is an agonizing process but especially when you are trying to recover from abuse of any kind, whether it be physical, emotional, or mental. It is not linear. There is not right or wrong way. Some days it feels like you are on the hilltops with all the progress you’ve made, while others, it feels like you are stuck in the same exact place you were when you left him. It's like grief in that way.

It is normal when you are coming out of something like this to feel like you are stuck in a pit. It's the way it is when the abuser leaves. I blocked things out that I didn't remember happened to me until a couple of months ago. There are things I can't talk about to others, not to my best friends, not to my family. Because it is scary admitting things out loud, you can barely even admit it to yourself. I am saying this because even if you are still dealing with trauma, if there are still trauma responses, your body reverts to or triggers that you have does not mean that you are not making progress because you are. Every day you choose to get up and get out of bed is progress.

I want you to know it does get better. It might not seem like it, but it does. And you might now know how but it will. I was with my Porco for six years. I was stuck in my hometown because of him for years while my friends left me behind and lived their life the way I wish I would have. I was isolated from them because of him. I needed people, and I had nobody. it was the most frustrating thing in the world as I tried to navigate through the darkness knowing nobody would be on the other side waiting for me.

I couldn't break free from my Porco until I was 22 years old. And that was when I finally left my hometown too. I started writing okay, bambi only three months after my break up because I was like you. I felt stuck and scared and lonely, and if I didn't do something, I was going to go so far down into the darkness that lived within me created by him that I wouldn't be able to find myself again.

Now, I am 24, and I am finally starting to remember what it feels like to be alive after years and years of not knowing if I was dead or actually breathing. I am stating my own experience here because you are still so so young. You have so much of your life ahead of you. Trust me when I say that you are just starting. There is so much life to live and so much of the world to see. And so far, all you’ve seen is what he has limited you to.

My advice is this. Find what you love again. Revert back to things you enjoyed when you were young. Things you loved before you met him. Whether it be writing, reading, being active, or collecting items. Sometimes figuring this out is trial and error. It wasn't until my early twenties that I knew I could semi write and that it was something I enjoyed doing. Now, I have a fic that people gravitate to. That they find comfort in while I find comfort in them. If you told me at this time last year I would have thought you were crazy. But there truly are better things waiting to you. I promise.

My second advice is this. Talk about your feelings. And if you can't bring yourself to speak, write your feelings out, even if it's only for you to see. Even if it's pages that you will burn. Buy yourself a coffee. Develop a skincare routine. Watch seasons upon season of anime. Do the things you love even if it feels like you don't deserve it. Because, you do.

Please know my asks will always be open to you, as long as my direct messages. If you have not joined the okay, bambi discord my readers made, please do. We have a community there that we would love for you to be a part of. There are always VC calls where we play games or watch movies with each other. Sometimes online friends are better than IRL, especially when you have things in common.

I mean it from the bottom of my heart when I say that I am so proud of you for getting up, for brushing your teeth, and for showering. I am just so proud of you for still existing. Please keep going. Keep pushing. One day you will be able to look back and see all the progress you made you couldn't see before. I love you to the milky way. I hope my advice helps, and if it doesn't, I am sorry. I am still learning the aftermath of being abused and am trying my best to heal too.

I’m not sure if I am making any sense. I wish I had all the answers, but I promise better days are coming than the ones you have endured. You’re so precious. Don’t ever forget that.

[1-talk-alot]

I know I know I know I said I wouldn’t rant about this topic again but be fr you didn’t know that and I didn’t care because that’s what I’m doing

Soooooo codenames yeah whatever this might be a longer rant than normal bcs im actually talking about 2 in one topics and the first one in friends! From a couple years ago

I need a few more codenames soooo

S - known her for 9 years uhhh shes really cool even though I dont see her very often anymore I also used to have a crush on her (little bit of lore you didn’t know I bet)

W - known her for 8 years shes also really cool

That’s it

OK this is a throwback to the times where everything was so different and im analysing why because I’m bored ig

S used to be one of my best friends, uhh along with H, W, and A (the only reason I gave them codenames was so I could write this sentence but they’re not in any stories or anything) and like I didn’t have any major friendship issues until the last couple years of my life and my mental health (which is not a topic I would like to cover right now) was also a lot better, like sure a lot of things were still shit but all in all I was happier yk? Then covid happened which wasn’t the biggest setback in my life but it’s definitely there and I can’t blame it all on my next point because there’s no way covid didn’t do anything to me

I think the whole being in my room 24/7, chronically online, bored and tired thing allll started there I think it as really subtle, I didn’t realise at the time, but my perspective on life, my average social battery, dare I say my patience all started to fall then (slowly but surely) I became irritable, I became used to frequent mood swings, I isolated myself for the heck of it, I didn’t go outside and I didn’t enjoy what I used to before and as if it wasn’t all slowly going downhill then, which I’m sure I would’ve gotten better if I’d had more time, uhh then I went to secondary and I was like shot down after the first month or so

If you were to ask my why I wouldn’t be able to give you an answer because my memory is so foggy (after reliving the same week 52 weeks in a row youd understand) I don’t see any specific differences, I know I stopped hanging out with A but nothing personal happened we just had different friendgroups and I think in year seven, nothing good ever happens in year seven, but nothing ever last either and I think my biggest issue was just time management and i don’t really stress over that anymore because icl about detention

In year eight however

So I had a new friendgroup right erase all the dudes from yr7, uhhh I actually really miss being i’s best friend because when I was every day was a lot more bearable but it’s okay we’re still friends, welcome L, E, and M!!!!!!!!!!! (wooooo) L and E i could easily talk about but it would be all positive so I’m not going to, Ik y’all aren’t here to watch a teenager talk about how happy she is, nobody tunes into that

Que topic 2! (It’s a continuation of topic one but onto the second stage of life aaand probably the last let’s be real)

So you might’ve noticed how I failed to include M when I said it would all be positive. That’s bcs it isn’t (plot twist) I could go on for ages but I’ve already done like 4 rants about this guy (and three of them are gone since I got T worded!) so instead I’m just gonna talk about recentl

TODAY !!!!!!!!!!!!! Today was shit honestly

Period once science uhhh idk if M thinks I’m too stupid to notice or if they think I won’t care about the way theyre suddenly treating my fp (/p)???? I know this isn’t my fight, I’m just talking over here but they’re not exactly trying to hide how dryly and reluctantly they reply? You’ve done so much shit and now you think you’re entitled to start acting like you’re the one being tired out. Kind of like a sexist boyfriend who hits his girlfriend, then when she leaves is like “well- i-I didn’t like you anyway!” To hide his fragile masculinity? Kind of like that yeah

Anyways ummm I could keep this professional but I’m better at voicing my argument if I sound like I’m just going batshit crazy speaking to that person and yelling at them so excuse me for the 2nd person, im still talking about M

One, how the fuck are you such a fucking narcissist??? You know it full well and you’re even proud of it and it makes me sick

Two, when I first became your friend I did think you were funny and that changed drastically because you’re just?? All your jokes consist of making fun of people insecurities, speaking in a cringe anime voice or using unfunny brain rot terms ‘ironically’ and sometimes it’s just so uncalled for like come on

Three, I just know that you think you’re at the “top” of this friendgroup. You think you can shittalk multiple people behind our back and we just won’t notice, you think your the only one with unspoken opinions and you don’t see past our very first trait. This was almost confirmed when you referenced L’s whole personality being hilariously stupid jokes and just ‘running around’. How blind do you even have to be??

I have multiple other things that annoy me but I can’t think of a way to put them into this rant so I’m just gonna list them now bcs i cba I just wanna get this done

• the way you obnoxiously played the full volume audio right in my ear today and didn’t it move until I did it for you

• the way you think I’m gullible enough to believe your simple lies

• the way you get so close to my face at times for like no reason like come on just don’t do that

•the way you only want to talk to me when you’re in the mood or when you need help and think I’ll just be there at your service

• the way you try to stop me from talking to E like when they were in the music rooms and I was gonna go and you kept stopping me stalling

•I know it sounds selfish but the way you’re stealing my inside jokes then being like “wdym I always did that that was my thing”

Uhhh that’s it ig? I’m not proofreading this so whatever uhhh im gonna go this way now bye

[umeqii]

haaiaii moot i am back I HOPE IK YOIR FIRDT REQUEST ^_^

do ive had this brainrot for the past week about this one scenario but if u dont feel comfortable doing this JUST DELETE THIS

so theres been this thing on tiktok for couples abiut the girl of the relationship taking a bra strap out of an old bra and gifting jt to their s/o as a bracelet which i think is reallt cute

could yoi maybe do that but with akito and an (separate like x reader) id love to see their reactions

ok im done yapping YIP YIP YIPPIE

JEJSJEJ FLIPPING EXPLODES YES YOU ARE MY FIRST REQUEST AND OMG DW I'LL MAKW YOURR REQUEST ^_^ !!!!

-⠀⠀⠀⠀OH WELL , IT'S ⠀⠀⠀. . . ⠀⠀⠀something alright !

QUICK A/N - might be SLIGHTLY suggestive in akito's like idk and also i wear sport bras so i have like no idea what genuien bra straps are like so sorry for my bad description (ू˃̣̣̣̣̣̣︿˂̣̣̣̣̣̣ ू)

fandom ; project sekai

character(s) ; an shiraishi + akito shinonome

creator ; umeqii

gender ; afab reader :33

─── AN !!

well i mean, an is already quite the expressive girl, and since having you as her as her amazing s/o, she feels even happier and brags about you ALOT !!

other people might see this as a silly gift idea, but at first you were quite hesitant on giving it to her, but you thought, "screw that" and gifted it to her.

you guys were walking home one day after school had ended and as you guys were talking about how what food would sound good for when you next hang out, you remembered you had a gift!!

that gift being a blue strap bracelet, from your old bra :DD!!

you had decorated it slightly, adding some cute pearls and blue charms that your thought would match an and you thought you did a great job !! (you did btw :33)

at first, you thought she didn't like it from the way she stared at and flipped the beads around and kept quiet; due to how you knew she struggles with expressing critism >_<

but then you saw a cute and loving smile growing on her pretty face, as her pale cheeks grew pinker each second before she looked up at you

" this is from your bra, right? "

" WAIT HOW DID YOU KNOW, I WAS GONNA TELL YOU BUT STILL?? "

" i'm wearing the exact one right now, babe! "

" oh "

que an giggling and embracing you in a cutie patootie hug and kissing your face and saying how much she loves it (SHE DID DON'T WORRY <33)

now she's planning on how to make you one aswell !

─── AKITO !!

okay so, you were doing this annual l/n (last name :3) family clean out, and you were going through your drawers to find clothes you didn't need anymore until you said your deep orange bra from two years ago (ﾟдﾟ三ﾟдﾟ) !!

as you were putting it into the recycling bin that you were going to give to your guardian so they could give it to the clothing shop thing, you remembered something you saw on your fyp and thought of how you could try it out !!

it was making a bracelet for your amazing and handsome and talented boyfriend akito °\>3

the colour did remind you of him, which you smiled about aswell as the thought of him wearing it around :33

so you put your amazing art n crafts skills to the test and decided to make a bracelet for him

good thing to say that it worked !!

you even added a dark purple bow at the end aswell as orange and clear crystals :DD

you gave it to him when you visited his house one time when he seemed kinda of tenser than usual  (｡•́︿•̀｡) 

you actually made it ages ago but ended up forgetting and then remembered in the moment because of how you thought akito seemed upset and wanted to cheer him up.

" oh? it's a...bracelet? thanks, it looks cool- wait what's the base you used for it? it feels like a buckle or whatever it's called? "

oh yeah, your bra :D

" oh yeah, i made it from my bra ≥∇≤ !! "

" sorry what "

let me tell you, akito isn't as slick as he thinks he is :PP

he turned into a huge shade of red, maybe it was just of the thought that it was made out of a bra that you had worn multiple times and it even touched your skin but naaahhh!!

you explained to him about the trend on tiktok as his eyes went ever so slightly wide and he made an, "ohh" typa sound

his cheeks were still lowkey red but he didn't know that :P

he just cleared his throat and then placed it into his lap as he ran his hand through his hair and said :

" uh...thanks for the..bracelet though. h-hey, i never said i didn't like it idiot, let me finish!! anyways...you did good with the charms.."

you started smiling like an idiot btw ∩∇∩

now he wants to make you one. but maybe with genuine materials for bracelet making.

RAAAAAAAHHHH FLIPPING EXPLODES OMG I DID IT AND OMG IM SO SORRY IF ITS OOC ANYWAY BECAUSE I DONT ACTUALLU PLAY PJSK, IM JUST IN THE FANDOM AND I DONT LOOK INTO AN'S CHARACTER THAT MUXH BUT I HOPR YIU ENJOYED?!?@?@?!?!

~ mari / umeqii ˃ᴗ˂