#but in this case i think it's notable bc it indicated to me that my audience has certain expectations

[kindahoping4forever]

Would you ever write a story without smut/romance?

I'm inclined to say no to this one... I wrote a smutless fic once before and not only was it my worst performing story (both here and on AO3) but I don't particularly care for it either, when I read it now it doesn't feel like me or my style. (And it wasn't! At the time I was made to feel like I wasn't a "real" author bc I only wrote smut and so that fic was born out of insecurity and self-imposed pressure to prove myself as a writer.)

As for no romance... I honestly don't know what I would write about then 😂 Interpersonal dynamics/relationships and intimacy are the topics I like exploring most in my writing and obviously that doesn't always have to mean romance but with my aforementioned penchant for including smut, that's naturally where my creative brain lives. Never say never but I would be surprised if I suddenly had a burst of non-romantic inspiration.

Writers Would You Ever - Send me an ask that says “Would you ever write…” and continue the sentence.

[sussusamogus47]

I just wanted to call to attention the board games in the final puzzle room, bc I haven't really seen anyone talk about them all that much.

I genuinely can't tell if they were all deliberately chosen for what they are, or if instead it was a case of what the set designers (of Genloss, not Showfall) could get their hands on, but the relative obscurity/odd choice of games makes me think that for the most part it was deliberate.

Lemme explain, starting with the most interesting one first.

Game One: My 2 Homes

This game is most notable because it's the one boardgame that Ranboo actually calls out by name, and one of two (if i remember right) that they ever interact with. What's clever though is how it could easily be written off -- Jerma asks the three of them for examples of things in the room, and he provides one. End of story right?

But consider first that the mind control over them has been getting stronger and stronger, and the past few rooms we've been seeing them become more NPC-like, interacting with things less and less, taking less of an interest in other things.

What makes it more interesting in my opinion though, is the fact that the game is meant to help children "communicate and process their feelings about divorce".

What does this mean though?

Well, looking at the verb definitions of divorce, there's two ways it can be taken:

You could make an argument for the first definition, sure. But just look at that second definition. Separate or dissociate something from something else. Aka Ranboo and reality.

Suddenly Ranboo's calling out of the game looks more like a call for help. To use the game for its intended purpose and say "I'm still here, please help me. I don't want this to continue."

I could be stretching here. But the subtly of it is really good, and imo wouldn't be out of place.

Game Two: Maul of America

The pun in this one is actually what made me notice the oddity of some of the choices of these board games. For those who mightn't know, the Mall of America is one of the largest malls in the United States.

The premise of this game is simple: You're in a mall during the zombie apocalypse, and have to fight your way out. One player controls all of the zombies, and each other player controls themselves, obviously.

The parallels here alone are honestly astounding lol

But wait, there's more!! Upon rewatching this entire section, I believe this is the only other board game that Ranboo ever interacts with. Even more interestingly, I believe this might be the only game in the room that has its pieces outside of the box and partially set up.

For reference:

Here's an image of the board + some of the pieces, courtesy of boardgamegeek.com

And here's the closest, best shot I could get of the board:

Notice the standing pieces, the flipped over ones, and their positions relative to one another. Red is flipped, blue and orange are standing up. One zombie is standing, the rest are flipped. Blue is by red, and orange is by a zombie.

Now I'm sure you know, but for Dramatic Effect ™ I'd like to point out the primary colours of each person's outfit in this room:

Red

Blue

Orange

So then, Ranboo, Sneeg, and Austin are obviously intended to be the players here, with either Showfall (or the founder) controlling the zombies. Sneeg's blue token is likely closer to Ran's red one to indicate that they know each other, which supports some of the other theories around that.

But then why's Ranboo's token flipped? And what's with the zombie?

Well this is where we pull into Speculation Station, because I'm honestly not too sure. I'd like to say that the flipped token indicates Ranboo's mind controlled state, but then why isn't Sneeg's flipped too? After all, we all saw him get forcefully controlled by the Showfall Crew. My only other guess is that it hints at the ending, where somehow Austin and Sneeg survive and escape Showfall where Ranboo doesn't, but I feel like that's shaky at best so idrk.

Similar problems occur with the zombie, too. You could say it's Ranboo being mind controlled by the zombie player, but then Sneeg should have one too if that's the case. It can't really be Jerma bc he's well, dead by this point. It could maybe be the camera operator? But we also see the rats behind the curtain so wouldn't they have one too?

I really don't know honestly. But I've been going on about this one for a while lol so I should probably move on.

Game Three: Anti-Monopoly

This one is basically what it says on the tin: Anti-Monopoly, or a trust busting game where players have to go around dismantling large corporations. Depending on the size of the company, (oligopoly, trust, or monopoly) you need one to three tokens respectively to take them down.

I'd imagine that Showfall is a pretty large corporation, so my guess is that the symbolism here is meant to be Hetch's (or even Ranboo's) intention to dismantle the company. If the former, it could maybe mean that Hetch isn't here to actually help Ranboo, but is instead using him for in order to dismantle Showfall, which would be a twist for sure.

Game Four: Twister Moves

This seems like a version of Twister with maybe a musical chair-esque aspect to it. Someone plays as the DJ and plays music, and calls out moves to the other players.

If I had to guess, this is meant to symbolize Showfall's control over people, and how they tell them what to do.

Miscellaneous Games

These ones I don't really have much (or anything) for, honestly. I'm mostly putting them here in case anyone has any ideas, or in case they're somehow relevant.

I also have to stop adding images unfortunately bc I've hit the app's limit :(

Battleground: Crossbows and Catapults

Interestingly enough I had this as a kid lol. Used to play with just the lil plastic castles and guys a lot, not really playing the game. Anyway, the premise is you use the rubber-band powered disc launchers on top of the castles to knock down the other team's guys. Apparently hitting their flag gets you bonus lives or something, so maybe that's relevant?

Star Wars 100 Piece Puzzle (1996)

I.. actually really doubt this one's relevant. It seems a bit too mainstream for it to be, and it's also a puzzle. The date could maybe be relevant? Piece count? Or somehow the characters on it (Luke, Leia, Vader) are, but I just can't think of anything that'd work here, so my best guess is it's a red herring.

Classico (??)

I literally couldn't find anything on this one that matched the box, so I'm at a total loss.

Closing Remarks

Well, I hope that was all comprehendable :D I spent the past two hours or so putting it all together, and honestly in the process of doing so found wayy more to it than I initially thought.

And with that, I bid you adieu!

[gemsofgreece]

Did Europe got it's name from the ancient Greek myth Europa? Where Zeus fell in love with her disguised himself as a cow and then kidnapped her?

It did, although not so directly.

It was usual for Ancient Greeks to associate regions with a progenitor, who was a mythological figure, so as to explain the differences between different people and genealogies. While Europe was of Greek descent according to the myth, she was a princess of Phoenicia. Zeus kidnapped her and took her west to the island of Crete, where she became its queen and progenitor (she was the mother of King Minos). It’s interesting that the selection of Crete might indicate some kind of awareness Ancient Greeks had that Crete was one of the very first places in Europe / the West with advanced civilisation. In any case, in the Homeric epics the name Europe is used broadly for the land west of the Aegean Sea. That includes the Greek mainland and perhaps the Balkans and East Europe. However, as it is evident in the maps of Anaximander in the 6th century BC, the definition of Europe had expanded to include more of the western parts of the continent.

The potentially first map of the known world is attributed to Anaximander (6th century BC).

So, the knowledge on this map apparently was passed on to the Romans and most of the continent eventually. Therefore, Western Europeans most likely adopted the definition of the Greeks for the region and it’s not that they took it directly from the kidnapped mythological princess.

By the way it was also the Romans who changed the character’s name into Europa as in Greek it is the same with the continent’s name: Ευρώπη (Europe - Greek pronunciation is Evrópi) .

Setting the myth aside and trying to find a more down to earth approach, it is not yet certain why Greeks called Europe as such. Ευρώπη is a compound name from the adjective ευρύς (eurus or eurys, pronounced evrís) and the suffix -ώπη (-ope) which comes from the roots of the words for vision, eyes, looking (i.e compare with optics, ophthalmology, optometry etc). Historians and linguists are basically at a loss because they don’t yet understand why that name would be associated with the continent. Regarding the mythological princess, her name can mean that she had wide, large eyes or that her eyes were widely set on her face or that she had a wide face (as the Greek word for face has the same root, πρόσωπο - prósopo, literally meaning “frontal look”). That’s all well for her but why would the continent be called that? This is unclear and it is important because it’s mythology that explains real life, not the other way round. This is just my personal speculation but I believe the true name might have the meaning of “wide view”. In Greece, there are locations which have similar names, the most notable being Ancient Europos in Macedonia, Northern Greece. More locations had been named as such in colonies during the Hellenistic era, i.e there is one in Syria. If it was such a popular name for locations and towns, I believe the name described the settlement as having wide, expanding views and potentially good visibility against invaders. Or maybe that it was widely structured itself and expanded before the visitor’s eyes. The more I think of it, the more obvious it gets and it pains me that acclaimed scientists fight over why a continent has wide eyes or names itself after a woman raped by a horny god. It almost certainly has little to do with it in the grand scheme of things. The way Greece is a narrow peninsula, progressively widening towards its north and then the Balkans and Central Europe widening even more could possibly be the reason why anything from Greece’s viewpoint and farther north was called “wide looking”. Besides, if we judge from Anaximander’s map, it is obvious Greeks in the 6th century BC thought Europe was the largest continent as they had explored Africa (Libya) and Asia far less (they probably gave up in Sahara and the Middle East). Therefore in the Greeks’ perception, Europe indeed appeared like a wide, expanding land. By the Hellenistic era, where they had explored more and the knowledge was certainly far better, I assume the name had stuck anyway and did not change. I don’t know when exactly Europeans “officially” embraced the term but I believe the inspiration was historical (the ancient maps) and not mythological.

Ancient Europos. I suspect it is not coincidental at all that it is so flat with so wide openings to the horizon from all sides. This would be notable enough to be named after, as so flat and widely mountain-less areas are rare in the Greek terrain.

In conclusion, my speculation is that the myth somehow attempted to interpret the procession of advanced civilisation (or maybe just Greek presence) from East to West, and the flourishing of Greeks there like Europe eventually did with Zeus’ gifts and sons. Even if I am totally off, I still believe it makes more sense if the mythological connection was attempted after the name Europe was already used by at least a number of Greeks as a geographical term and not that Europeans read Europe’s story and were like “seems like the perfect name for our continent”. Again, mythology is the one observing and interpreting the already existing world.

[bravevolunteer]

... shamefully deletes what i wrote about this being a SHORT post, have my personal highlights/thoughts from reading the preview of the fnaf movie novelization lmao

- he is an idiot and a nerd. “ooohh mike is so scary” “michael is intimidating he’s terrifying” he is EXHAUSTED and OVERSTIMULATED sitting in a mall, he is building a tent with napkins and a paper cup and immediately knocking it down ( extremely normal about the constant theme of alluding to camping by the way ), he is throwing his burrito wrap in the trash like it’s a basketball and thinking “score” before immediately cringing at himself. that’s not scary that’s a homosexual. he’s so boyfailure

- speaking of homosexual he is so gay in this single chapter i’m not even joking. talks about rarely ever getting dates with girls, not really being capable of chivalry or reciprocating when they did, did not pick up on the ice cream shop employee being into him. and yet the only person he mentions really liking being around is jeremiah ( coworker in the mall scene, also yet another jeremy if you catch my drift- ) and offers to buy them both shakes when he’s fucking Broke… mike schmidt i know what you are

- his food was too spicy i am making fun of him for it ( and if i may speak about lowkey reinforcing my… abysmal diet headcanons lmao )

- in this version he first sees the kid he thinks is in danger surrounded by plants and holding a toy…. you will be seeing me on the news

- confirms mike is 25, which as people are pointing out…. would mean garrett was taken in 1987….. okay

- now i haven’t fully elaborated on this yet bc ngl i have never SETTLED on concrete thoughts ( and a lot of traits indicative of this tend to overlap with his severe ptsd ) but oh my god michael and neurodivergent traits real. staring directly at the way he operates socially, the missed social cues, the overstimulation in the mall. things for me to spin around.

- he is so like… clearly upset about his wasted potential. he so DEEPLY wishes he were able to make something of his life ( also makes me think about how, in game michael’s case at least, it also has to do with just being his own person ), thinking about the different opportunities he could’ve taken ( notable thing to me was mentioning liking building things… ), it’s so obvious how stuck and lost he feels yet instead of emphasizing the tragedies in his life as the cause all he blames is HIMSELF. he’s convinced that HE is the root problem that he should be someone different i’m so glad i got the sheer amount of self hatred and guilt with both mikes correct i’m gonna go eat glass now

- with the fountain scene— there are VERY specific descriptions of the blood itself triggering his memory enough to make mike’s thoughts go dark, the novel emphasizes how much it plays a role in his uninhibited reaction which… makes me think. about what specifically not sure but i have ALREADY been considering just how reliable his memories of the day garrett got taken are and this is reinforcing me highly doubting that they are! especially with the way fnaf tends to establish backstories trauma very well could have fucked with what we see of his memory.

[7ban-sama]

(I didn’t mean to insult your girlfriend I’m sorry 🙏) but I’ve thought about smthg… it’s so funny how parents in JSHK never care about their children

*chuffing* as long as you're sorry...

(for future reference: I don't really know how to engage in an ask saying 'I like [thing] more than [your favorite thing]'... I'd prefer it if instead we could talk about a subject on it's own, not in comparison to My Thing. I like Sumire plenty, she is quite pretty. But Nene is my favorite, like how all aspects of my ship are my favorite thing in this manga, & I don't really get anything from hearing about preferences that I don't have, stated at me — there's not really a 'discussion' to be had... bc there's not even a question being posed..? Anyways, hope that illuminates something.)

Oh you know, it's funny, I moreso get the impression that Iro-sensei isn't really interested in parents as characters... so we don't really get many instances of them being incredible caretakers. We definitely have a skew of, various cases of neglect, or (as I suspect for Teru's upbringing) physical abuse — but I wouldn't say that all of the parents are deadbeats lol.

I assume that Nene's home life is perfectly fine, as it doesn't seem to trouble her at all. Her parents are by her side on her first day of middle school (unlike the Yugi or Minamoto, more fraught cases) and Nene seems to be able to pursue her own hobbies, fill her room with things she likes, etc. It's not that owning lots of things means that parents are good, but combined with Nene showing no notable distress about home life, I think it's indicative of them being willing to accommodate her personal tastes. Mommy and daddy will buy you ghoul toys, give you shopping money to buy cute clothes, let you stay out after school and go to Tanabata, so on and so forth. I think of Nene's parents as loving in a... neutral? Way? I don't think they are going above and beyond for her, necessarily, but she seems to have had a normal childhood and expects nothing from them. I'm not sure if there's even any expectations on her wrt future careers. Which imo, would be to purposefully contrast the Yugi, who likely had a strenuous home life alongside expectations for Amane's impending science-focused future.

Ahh, I believe her, you know. It's her distinct swag. Normal girl swag. She has been a normal girl living a normal life until she meets Amane...

Nene's problems lie in her peer-to-peer relationships. She's not able to make many friends, and is seen as weird and eccentric. A bit homely, not alluring, which means her chances at romance are slim... Which troubles her, because she's romance obsessed and really really wants to be in a relationship. I always ah, think it says a lot, that Nene's fear manifested in the Hell of Mirrors is everyone laughing at her about how she is unattractive and no one will ever want her. That's... simply her greatest concern in life... Being attractive enough... Yk I really feel for her though, I know a lot of people would see it as shallow, but I respect that this is just how she is. She can't, ignore it-!! But yk, I also love the fact that Nene doesn't seem to think very hard about her family... It's interesting, because she's otherwise a considerate girl, who cares when innocent people are in harm's way. But ah... she still doesn't factor in her parents' misery at the thought of her never returning from the Far Shore? This decision is so interesting. While fraught families can leave characters with lasting complications, which we can explore deeply... I also am very interested in when an individual has 'no reason' to resent their family — and they don't! — but they also do not seem to care deeply about them. When push comes to shove, Nene is willing to sacrifice everything she has for Amane... which is, in reality, what really sets her apart. Her romanticism goes beyond what a 'normal person' would do.

It is, in reality, easier to leave people who have been cruel to you, than people who have never really done you wrong, because they don't 'deserve' that. Nene is an only child, what if she is valued and loved by her parents...? What if she's their pride and joy, what if she makes them very proud? Well, it just deosn't matter, anyways. Which is selfish, in a way... but I like that. It doesn't matter if you should care about your parents hard work. What if you just, don't-? In Bakeneko Ryokan, Nene is a fancy, extravagant breed of cat, and her owner clearly loved her, enough to name her 'Pretty-chan', enough to put out a flyer to find her after she went missing. But, ehm, Nene simply left... in search of hot guys, to fawn over her...... I think this probably sums up what's going on in canon lol. Loved child, but ultimately this can't take up space in her heart.

Moving on from Nene... Mitsuba's mom seems like a well-meaning woman, as well. I actually would bank on her being more thoughtful than Nene's parents, bc she at least was invested actively in Mitsuba's hobbies, and she was concerned about his friendlessness... They seem to have 'hung out' more. (Makes sense... if Mits had no friends ww...) And, perhaps Kou's mom was a caring sort (? more ambiguous though, he loved her but was very young, and the Minamoto family is complicated.) And then there's a point where, idk if we have enough information to really make a call about anyone, like. What are Akane's parents like...? Honestly, I'd assume neutral again, not terrible but not amazing, not note-worthy. I think a lot of things go into this category...

I just don't get the impression Iro-sensei really wants to linger on anything they don't have to, it really needs to be plot-relevant. Whiiich.... imo makes sense... bc Iro also seems to gravitate to young characters — sooner going to write out complex interactions happening between, 8yos, rather than full fledged adults. Since I also like young characters and dgaf about parents, I kinda get it lol. Parents are often like, something you need to figure out in a clinical sense. Often times I handwave things like, ehh they're just normal people who are fine with their kid but more hands off or whatever, etc etc, let's move on.

Maybe it's also bound to happen when you mostly care about writing romance... *strokes my chin* Which, again, same, relate. You don't really want to linger on platonic dynamics tooooo longgg.... Boring.

So yeah. I think of it more of a matter of preference and how much time is allotted to things in the story, not necessarily that all parents are supposed to suck. I think it is supposed to be distinct when someone has OK parents.

[bananonbinary]

Time for a Salty Meta Post about Martin!

people who’ve followed this blog for a bit know that spending six hours combing through text for some goddamn sources is my specialty, so i compiled every time jon ever talked about martin’s work in season 1. which for the record, he stopped complaining about all the way back in episode 26, where he was angry that martin of all people got hurt.

things jon gets mad at martin for:

not being able to find records that don’t exist

not being able to find someone based only on a first name

the Dog

not wearing trousers in his off-hours

being the one that got caught up in the jane prentiss thing

mag 004 and mag 012 both have jon taking potshots at martin over research that was proven accurate by outside sources

things jon has never once complained about:

martin not understanding the filing system and just putting stuff away at random

martin being clumsy, constantly ruining things, spilling tea everywhere everyday, etc

martin turning in incompetent, poorly-edited, or badly formatted reports

martin not understanding the terminology used, skills expected, etc., and generally being extremely new to the field

please for the love of god stop making martin the silly bumbling idiot who can’t do anything right just because he doesn’t have a formal education. there’s zero evidence for it in the text, and it’s really weird to act like a 4 year degree would outweigh the *10 years* of job experience he has, not just in academia, but in the institute itself by season one. my boy has worked there longer than ANY of the rest of the main cast. screw you guys.

tl;dr: martin is never once shown to be bad at his job, jon pretty much only ever gets mad at him for the really stupid first impression and also not finding stuff that no one else was able to find either. after martin got hurt, jon talks about his research basically the same way he talks about tim’s or sasha’s work.

fucking proof under the cut:

(i didnt include the s1 finale or martin’s statement bc that’s just...two entire episodes of them talking to each other, but there isn’t really any notable Martin Complaints in either of them imo)

I swear, if he’s brought another dog in here, I’m going to peel him.

[pre-launch trailer]

.

Well, technically three, but I don’t count Martin as he’s unlikely to contribute anything but delays.

[...] Alongside this Tim, Sasha and, yes, I suppose, Martin will be doing some supplementary investigation to see what details may be missing from what we have.

[MAG001 Anglerfish]

.

Martin couldn’t find any records of Ex Altiora as a title in existent catalogues of esoteric or similar literature, so I assigned Sasha to double-check. Still nothing.

[MAG004 Pageturner]

.

I had Martin conduct a follow-up interview with Mr. Woodward last week, but it was unenlightening. Apparently there have been no further bags at number 93 and in the intervening years he has largely discounted many of the stranger aspects of his experience. I wasn’t expecting much, as time generally makes people inclined to forget what they would rather not believe, but at least it got Martin out of the Institute for an afternoon, which is always a welcome relief.

[MAG005 Thrown Away]

.

Martin was unable to find the exact date the original house was built but the earliest records he could find list it as being bought by Walter Fielding in 1891.

[...]

We cannot prove any connection, but Martin unearthed a report on an Agnes Montague, who was found dead in her Sheffield flat on the evening of November 23rd 2006, the same day Mr. Lensik claims to have uprooted the tree.

[MAG008 Burned Out]

.

According to Martin, who was here when they took this statement, it was at this point in writing that Mr. Herbert announced he needed some sleep before continuing. He was shown to the break room where he went to sleep on the couch. He did not awaken; unfortunately succumbing to the lung cancer right there. Martin says the staff had been aware of how serious Mr. Herbert’s condition was, and had advised him to seek medical aid prior to giving his statement, but were told rather bluntly by the old man that he would not wait another second to state his case. I can’t decide whether this lends more or less credibility to his tale.

[MAG010 Vampire Killer]

.

“Veepalach” might also be a mishearing of the Polish word “wypalać”, according to Martin, which means to cauterize or brand. Admittedly, if Martin speaks Polish in the same way he “speaks Latin,” then he might be talking nonsense again, but I’ve looked it up and it appears to check out.

[MAG012 First Aid]

.

I sent Martin to look into this ‘Angela’ character - not that I want him to get chopped up, of course, but someone had to. Apparently, he spent three days looking into every woman named Angela in Bexley over the age of 50. He could not find anyone that matches the admittedly vague description given here, though he informs me that he had some very pleasant chats about jigsaws. Useless ass.

[MAG014 Piecemeal]

.

Martin declined to help with this investigation as he’s “a bit claustrophobic”

[MAG015 Lost John’s Cave]

.

There simply aren’t enough details given in this statement to actually investigate, short of Martin confirming that Mr. Vittery did indeed live at the addresses he provided.

[MAG016 Arachnophobia]

.

Oh, he’s off sick this week. Stomach problems, I think.

Blessed relief if you ask me.

[...]

I asked Martin to try and hunt down Mr. Adekoya himself for a follow-up, but have been informed that he passed away in 2006. 

[MAG017 The Boneturner’s Tale]

.

MARTIN

Well, I need to tell someone what happened, and you can vouch for the soundness of my mind, can’t you?

ARCHIVIST

…

That is beside the point.

[MAG022 Colony]

.

Martin! Good lord man, if you’re going to be staying in the Archives, at least have the decency to put some trousers on!

[MAG023 Schwartzwald]

.

Martin found one other thing while combing through police reports for the Hither Green area. About a month after this statement was given, on May 15th, 2015, police were called out to once again investigate the chapel.

[MAG025 Growing Dark]

.

I know, but it would have to have been Martin, wouldn’t it? I mean, anything goes wrong around here, it always seems to happen to him. Anyway, we’re getting off topic. Why didn’t you report this?

[MAG026 A Distortion]

.

Martin made contact with the son, Marcus McKenzie, but he declined to talk to us, saying that he’d “already made his statement.”

[MAG027 A Sturdy Lock]

.

Tim and Martin had a bit more luck investigating Tom Haan, though only really enough to confirm that he seems to have completely vanished following his departure from Aver Meats on the 12th of July.

[MAG030 Killing Floor]

.

Martin’s research would seem to indicate the place employed a reasonable number of international staff they preferred to keep off the books

[...]

TIM

Ah well, that’s actually what he was asking, huh! Um, apparently Martin, uh, took delivery of a couple of items last week addressed to you. Did he not mention it?

ARCHIVIST

No, he… Oh, yes, actually. I completely forgot. He said he put it in my desk drawer, hold on.

[MAG036 Taken Ill]

[theenderwalker]

re: DSMP "unsolved mysteries"

I've seen lots and lots of posts about the "unsolved mysteries" on the Dream SMP that focus on the TNT on top of the prison and the missing nukes. One of those I am very confident was implied canonically to be Ranboo, and the other I'm confident in my theory that it was him. Putting it under a read more bc its fuckin Long, but its worth the read! Word count: 2482

First: TNT at the prison.

This was implied to be Ranboo across a couple different streams, albiet subtly. I'm not surprised it went a little bit under the radar, but it's simply untrue to say we have no indication of who it could be.

This point doesn't hold true across everything of this nature, and if it did, it would be a dead giveaway, but I think it's relevant here for a couple reasons: Ranboo was online at the time of the explosions. Tommy tends to reflexively open the tab menu during his lore streams, almost as a nervous habit, so we saw multiple times that Ranboo was online, and would seen it have even if Tommy had chat turned off. Online at the time were Sam, Dream, Tommy, Foolish, and Ranboo. Foolish could not have been the culprit, as he was live at the time. In the case of this incident, it would have to be manually triggered by someone. Afterwards, when Tubbo was doing his "interrogations", his first bit of evidence was checking who was online when it happened. For these reasons, I feel this is a valid point for this incident.

That night, Ranboo was live on the SMP. This stream is notable for most people because it was when Ranboo did the odd code in his inventory, that read "He is in control" (or he is in control of me, if you count the to do list). Many people focused on this as a indication that Dream controlled Ranboo to set off the TNT, but this line of thinking was abandoned over time, especially as we saw the implication that the message was actually referring to the Enderwalk, talking about Ranboo stopping himself from doing anything to save Tommy from the prison during that week. However, other details in that stream also hinted it was Ranboo. Most notable to me was Ranboo reading chat or a dono asking him what he had done that day, and him answering that he had "probably gone mining," with some uncertainty. Later that same stream, he went down into his mines , found no ingots in the furnaces, and commented "maybe [he] didn't go mining", and that he wasn't sure what he had done that morning. This comes across to me as an indication that he had a blank spot in his memory that day--that he had been Enderwalking. He drew attention to this here, where he otherwise wouldn't, because it implies he was Enderwalking while he was visibly online, on Tommy's stream, where he would have been able to set off that TNT.

Ranboo was one of the only people on the server with a positive relationship with Dream, of any sort. It is true, especially at this time, that many people had negative opinons of Tommy, but Ranboo was the only one who didn't outright hate Dream... in his Enderwalk state. (with the sole exception of Punz, if you think the vault confrontation was staged, but that's definitely theory territory.) Dream has repeatedly stated that he finds Tommy "fun" and enjoys fucking with him. Tommy was locked in the prison after Ranboo could no longer visit, so assuming he has no supernatural means of communication with Dream (which is likely, as we have no real indication otherwise), he would have been acting without instruction. What better way to help Dream out than getting him his 'plaything' for at least a week?

Alternatively, you could frame it as a distraction or a break in/out attempt... which also doesn't make sense for anyone but Ranboo. Either way you frame it, Ranboo is the only person who makes sense without having to stretch their relationship with Dream into something it isn't.

Tubbo's investigation was the only real in character investigation into this incident we saw. He started out investigating people who were online, which is why I believe it's uniquely relevant to this incident. As I mentioned earlier, Foolish's alibi was that he was live. Ranboo's alibi was that he was mining. If you recall, the day Tommy was locked into the prison, Ranboo acknowledged that he did not know what he had done that afternoon, and that he distinctly had not been mining. This investigation didn't get much further than this because Tubbo refused to acknowledge that Ranboo could have done something like this. Because Ranboo has hidden his enderwalking so well, no one has any reason to believe he would do something to intentionally hurt one of his friends, or to help Dream.

Canonically, there isn't much evidence outside of Ranboo's comments to the audience because the characters absolutely cannot find out that it was Ranboo. He cannot be revealed as a traitor, narratively. Not yet, at least. So all of the evidence has to be directed towards the audience, which leads to it falling into subtext more often than not. The Enderwalk arc has the potential for an absolutely disastrous reveal at some point, where others discover exactly what he has done. It's unlikely that something like this will be confirmed explicitly until that point, but I believe the details I have explored above are foreshadowing, and will be explored again at this reveal. This point applies to the nuke, as well--perhaps even more so for reasons I will explore below.

Second: The missing nuke.

This one treads a little more into theory territory, but I think some of the subtextual implication is in this one too, it's just a bit further apart. Instead of being implied in streams the day of the incident and one week later, these implications are a little bit further out. I don't think I'm necessarily stretching by making these connections, though I can see why someone may think it's a stretch.

Ranboo was not online during this stream. This is why I think that's only conditionally applicable to the last point--Tubbo does not check tab habitually, and he had chat turned off intentionally. The tab list isn't necessarily canon to this stream. If we go by that, Jack Manifold is physically the only person who could have taken the nuke. The only other people online were Philza and Foolish, who were both live. Since this wasn't taken into consideration for the investigations, it's not relevant here.

Out of character, Jack took the nuke. Jack did not stream his perspective of this incident, he hung behind when Tubbo went ahead to start building the silo, and when the two came back together later, it was gone. This was intentionally done, as Jack usually streams his perspective for lore like this. If he had been the one to take the nuke, we likely would already know. His secret plans are not a secret from the audience, they are a secret from other characters--this leads me to think that in character, he did not take the nuke.

Very few people knew about the nukes, so we already start with a pretty small pool of suspects. One of these people was Ranboo. Even if Ranboo did seem to forget what Tubbo told him, the nuke would have been taken while he was Enderwalking--y'know, when he remembers everything, or at least remembers more.

The backbone of this theory, and the reason why I even began to consider it, is that Ranboo has a very solid and clear motivation to want the nuke. Ranboo has been helping Dream. The nukes were made specifically to be a deterrent/protection against Dream. If Ranboo takes one of the nukes, Dream now has access to that nuke, and the playing field has been re-balanced. Essentially, it's creating Mutually Assured Destruction between them. To take it one step further, only one of the nukes went missing. Tubbo was left with one nuke, and Ranboo and Dream have one nuke. Why not just take both? Well, leaving both parties with a nuke essentially ensures neither side will use it. It protects Dream, but it also helps to maintain (a semblance of) peace. Neither side can use their nuke without the other retaliating in kind. This leads to tensions, but prevents outright warfare from either side. It's not pretty, but it aligns with Ranboo's broader goals of keeping the peace.

So we've got the motivation, it makes sense. But that's not enough to make the claim on its own. What's the evidence?

This is a touch convoluted, so I get why it doesn't necessarily come up in relation to this as evidence often, but it's pretty solid to me. Especially compared to how vague most of Ranboo's subtext can get.

It's in the lessons! The highest number of lesson we were given was 94, though when Ranboo was repeating it outloud, he said 93. He later clarified saying 93 was intentional. This stream was on April 23rd. 93 days earlier, to the day, was January 20th--the day Dream was locked in the prison. 93 lessons for 93 days. If we take this to imply the lessons were daily, starting when Dream was locked in the prison, each lesson corresponds to a specific day. March 26th was the day the nuke went missing. 67 days from January 20th is March 27th, the day after the nuke disappeared without a trace. Neither Jack nor Tubbo had any real leads on the nuke. Lesson 67, the day after the nuke was stolen... "Leave no evidence of what you have helped with." This EXACT thing is why the nuke is so hard to pin down. There was no real evidence left. This lesson lining up so closely to the nuke's disappearance is not a coincidence. Further, at this point Ranboo no longer had contact with Dream. He had locked himself out of the prison and couldn't visit. If the lessons are daily, the things he writes down are things he's figured out for himself. The lesson being the day after the nuke was stolen makes sense, when framed like that. He stole the nuke, left no evidence, and wrote that down because it worked.

All of the hints/foreshadowing for the eventual reveal of where the nuke disappeared to has to be done in retrospect, and it has to be either from Ranboo, or from some other source that knows more than the characters. Which leads into my second bit of evidence: the Tubbo Texts. Across like, a week of streams (starting on April Fools Day), spooky half transparency cryptic text appeared on screen periodically, that c!Tubbo was unaware of. Those texts have never been explored in canon, it seems that none of the characters are aware of them or of their contents. So they are posed directly to the audience. The second one in particular stands out to me here:

"Quick, I don't have much time. Stay away from the North. A strange metal weapon washed up. It poisons the nature, the water. No it's not. That's it, we are leaving."

The 'strange metal weapon' seems to refer to the nuke, the poison being the radiation. Geographical direction is rarely paid any mind on the server, but north is distinctly the direction of Techno, Phil, and Ranboo's house. I think I remember Ranboo telling Sam he lives "up north" while trying to visit the prison. The arctic commune is the only notable northward location. The nuke disappeared, and reappeared in the north, in the direction of Ranboo's home. The rest of the texts refer to the north as well. We don't know where Ranboo's base of operations is in the Enderwalk, but we can assume he has at least one, and we can assume the nuke is hidden there, if he has taken it. If Ranboo has taken the nuke, it makes sense for it to be in the North.

Ranboo has proven he can take things without any evidence left behind. Remember his first beacon, that disappeared like, a day after he set it up? He never tracked it down, just replaced it. Within a couple days, he made a comment about his pickaxe durability being suspiciously low... maybe because he was using the stolen beacon to mine far from his home base so it wasn't noticeable that he had been mining. That's beside the point. I mean this to say, he knows how to take and hide things, he knows how to keep secrets, and he almost definitely has at least one secret base we've never seen onscreen.

So maybe Ranboo took the nuke, maybe he set off the TNT at the prison, that's cool, but why have they abandoned the plotlines? Why have we never gotten more explicit answers? Why won't they come back to it?

Ultimately, it seems a lot of these plans have been pushed back and delayed for one reason or another. Beyond that, an untimely reveal of either of these things to other characters would be a huge letdown. The arc seems to be building to a catastrophically large reveal, and each thing that gets revealed before then makes it much less impactful. Keeping it subtle towards the audience, while still offering some hints, stops a certain degree of the chat spoiling "metagaming" we see sometimes, that makes some streamers have to fully ignore their chats during lore streams.

This part is very much my own opinion, but I don't believe the missing nuke plotline will be resurfacing until after Dream is out of prison. Ranboo has no reason to reveal he has it until it will be put to use, either as a nuke or as a threat, and that won't happen til Dream is out of the prison and the nuke is in his hands instead.

The TNT on top of the prison will be an insanely gratifying reveal if it comes out with the rest of the enderwalk stuff. Any of this taken out of that context just kinda falls flat. So people know Ranboo set off the TNT, or know he has the nuke. How does that propel the plot? Ranboo won't do much of anything about it. People will distrust Ranboo, sure, but they won't know the depth of the issue, and that just makes the reveal frustrating. It will be revealed in time, I'm sure, but I think the enderwalk arc has to reach a climax first, or it's just disappointing.

I agree with the general frustration that these plotlines appear to be dropped or greatly delayed, but it's a symptom of a bigger pacing issue than solving either 'mystery' on its own will fix. And the answers aren't as obfuscated as they first may seem, it just takes a little digging!

[yttdch3]

Please evaluate on OCD Sou evidence I’m so here for it

i stalled this ask for a while with the intent to put something very concise together but my motivation’s been low so i’m gonna have to free-form it, sorry anon i also want to note that i am a person with OCD, so a lot of this is personal to me - I’m not just some rando being like “haha sou wash his hands so he has ocd” bc I’ve def seen that stuff and, I’m not gonna get into how exhausting that is rn y’know

Anyway what originally got me thinking abt this and what’s probably the biggest piece of evidence is what kanna says about him during the second main game: 

Kanna：

"Sou had been fretting about it since yesterday."

"He was going "I don't know the password!", taking his beanie off and putting it on..."

"Suddenly, I looked at Sou's hands, and was struck by how clean he kept them even in these circumstances..."

What Kanna is describing here is kind of on the dot OCD tendencies. He’s been dwelling on it for an excessive amount of time and he’s exhibiting repetitive compulsory behavior in response. Then she goes on to mention his hands were clean enough for it to be noticeable, and I think that could point to him experiencing compulsive hand washing as well. I think it’s also notable that it was Kanna who said this. There’s this sort of embarrassment and guilt that typically comes with experiencing OCD symptoms, and the more uncomfortable the situation you’re in is, the more you feel like you HAVE to hide what you’re experiencing. It makes sense that Kanna would be the one to see the most prominent symptoms in Sou, because he’s a lot more comfortable around her.

Sou is also very obviously touch averse, and I think that paired with the fact that he could be compulsively washing makes a pretty good case for it being due to some kind of obsessive fear.  In the island game he’s pretty blatant about it, when Mishima grabs his arm he immediately freaks out and tells him not to do that. Additionally, if you get his ending he says, "...Oh, but no hugs, please. that's not my thing". It’s a little more subtle in the main storyline, but he’s going to be hiding a lot more in this situation so it kinda makes sense. Sara can shake his hand, and she can high-five him, and in both instances he has really sudden changes in composure. I don’t consider Sara’s narration to be entirely accurate, so I think what happened during the handshake was something along the lines of Sara seeing just a moment of Sou’s discomfort with touching somebody showing through, and her not really knowing what to make of it, so (being in a scary situation herself) she assumed it was something scary. The game reflected that with the “scary face” cg because it’s her point of view. When she high-fives him he just calls her weird which is pretty silly but it definitely indicates discomfort.

There’ also like, SO much in the nightmare he has at the beginning of ch2pt2 and the sequences with shadow sou. Admittedly I’m pretty tired after writing all that so I’m gonna glaze over this for now and hopefully elaborate some other time, but these sections really feel like he’s experiencing like, a cycle of obsessing over past and possible future events, and repetitive intrusive thought. Thanks for coming to my ted talk

[jamesbi-canonbarnes]

I'm having trouble connecting the emotional through line between episodes 2 and 3. In the therapy session Sam tells Bucky they can just finish the mission and then they're done with each other, after that it seems like things have cooled a bit and Bucky even starts to say, "I feel awful" before they get interrupted by Walker. Then in 3 things seems relatively fine between and they even (especially Sam) show some concern for the other?? And Bucky totally still not trying to understand Sam's POV

Ok ok mood. I’m not an expert on writing, but I do have lots of thoughts on this, so lemme talk this through w you (long post ahead). Some of these thoughts are going to be theorizing super hard about what’s going to happen in future eps so for sure take that with a grain of salt.

IMO for a show where the most interesting thing is literally just the emotional states of these two men and how they relate to each other through those emotions, their emotional arcs are not nearly pointed enough for my taste...I suspect that’s partly because we’re pulled back and forth between the more lighthearted banter and the more heartfelt expressions of their internal lives. But also bc, I think, the whole thing is that these two CANT communicate because if they DO, their emotional states will reach RESOLUTION too quickly.

And IMO, I actually think it’s the therapy scene alone that is throwing the balance off leading up to 3. I didn’t feel like threatening not to ever see each other again was earned, or at least it wasn’t clear to me where it’s coming from writing-wise. (Not that I wouldn’t support Sam cutting himself off from the toxicity of someone else’s unfair expectations, if this were real life and not a function of a written story). It just feels too far a swing of the pendulum compared to directly before and after. Sam just saved Bucky, and yes he never got to finish railing Bucky over Isaiah, but *because* that argument didn’t hit its crux, I don’t think it’s enough for most viewers to explain the kind of statement Sam makes in the therapy scene. Yes Sam does keep shutting Bucky down in a lot of ways, but we also know that before Bucky confronted him in episode 2, he was doing the opposite and trying to reach out to Bucky. So it feels a bit confusing to me. I don’t know what Sam wants, besides to be left alone, and that itself feels neither genuine nor like good enough motivation on a character level for this story. So. In lieu of any other story reason, I guess I think Sam’s reaction in the therapy scene is a way to artificially raise the emotional stakes so that the eventual resolution is more satisfying. That’s the only thing I can think, although if that’s the case, they started building back up extremely quickly.

Bc you’re absolutely correct, immediately after that therapy scene, Bucky is upset but clearly wants to communicate that to Sam, contrary to any agreement to squash it and move on. And though there’s no time for dialogue then, they approach walker/Hoskins essentially a united (though frustrated) front. And then after that and all through ep 3, though they are functionally on opposite sides of the entire zemo argument in every way, Sam basically rolls over repeatedly throughout and actually ends up expressing more care for Bucky than we’ve previously seen and also opens up to him more... and IMO bucky breaking zemo out of prison without asking and with clear premeditation was a major violation of trust, for which Sam was not afforded the opportunity to express proportional ire. (For me Bucky’s speech there asking Sam to do it for him did not hit as reasonable motivation for sam). You would think after the level of ire sam expressed to bucky’s genuine (though self centered) vulnerability in the therapy session, the level of ire to bucky’s lies and even “betrayal” (as I see it) would be notable. It should be at least above essentially saying “you’re dead to me once your usefulness runs out” which I think is the dark but fair implication of “let’s just finish this and never speak again” or whatever he said in the therapy scene. Instead he says a reluctant version of “ok, I’ll do exactly what I just explicitly said I didn’t want to do, just because you asked.”

The thing is, clearly neither of them actually hate each other. They have both repeatedly shown genuine care for the other. So why is the animosity even happening?

The emotional throughlines should help us figure that out, and vice versa. So what I’m thinking is, a throughline has to have a beginning and an end, and figuring out those can help you figure out what the points in the middle should be. Here the beginning of Bucky’s emotional throughline w Sam is clearly from a starting point of straight up misplacing his grief and aggression onto Sam, bc he’s projecting Sam as the distant figurehead of stability to replace Steve. His not understanding Sam on a personal level is the primary obstacle to his realizing and resolving that entire emotional throughline, thus the end point of the throughline necessarily requires passing through Bucky understanding Sam’s POV and empathizing with Sam. In my prediction, that empathy leads to self actualization through purposefully accessing his own feelings (rather than letting his blocked emotions break through and then ignoring both the cause and consequences of them). Then he can start down a path of true restitution leading to his own healing through healing his relationships.

IMO bucky has never hated Sam. He has always fully just been jealous of him. Jealous of how happy he is, how few problems he pretends to have, and his relationship with Steve, if you want to go there.

So because Bucky does not hate Sam, there isn’t really anywhere to go after hitting the mark of seeing Sam’s POV... besides, essentially, restitution as resolution. Bc it’s through that realization>restitution that Bucky’s going to have to face the actual issue, of who he actually hates. Only then can he heal. He doesn’t have to forgive Sam. He has to forgive himself. So that he can restore himself, which he can only do after restoring Sam.

(And, if they’re really going to go there, he has to forgive Steve. I’m unsure if that’s going to be directly drawn for us or not)

I think that bucky’s throughline will resolve itself relatively quickly after Sam gets what he needs from Bucky, hence why he can’t have it yet. So in the meantime, Bucky comes off as frankly a bad friend who is self absorbed/entitled and unwilling to unlearn white supremacy bc it requires uncomfortable empathy with a Black man.

Sam’s emotional throughline as filtered through how he relates to Bucky is a little harder for me to grasp, I’ll be honest. Obviously the end point the emotional throughline has to underline is accepting the mantle of captain America (accepting himself?) So maybe that is woven among the throughline of his journey to accepting Bucky as an ally??, but I’m not sure what the starting point even is to be honest.

I do think that what is clearer (at least to me, and maybe this is only applicable to me?) about Sam is that we as the informed audience already know an important part of why he gave up the shield. It’s very much about race. Sam has not expressed that to Bucky, but we know it. Bucky has no idea that this is about race—or more accurately, that’s it’s about trauma regarding race. He hasn’t connected Sam’s ultimate motivation to Sam’s statements and experience re: race. Sam has certainly expressed anger and hurt, but he hasn’t connected them to race and then to the symbol of captain America for Bucky, whereas they’re already connected for many viewers. I’m not going to give Bucky a pass for not connecting them because that type of ignorance is not neutral. But he clearly does not know, and he DOES keep asking. He has asked multiple times in words why Sam gave up the shield. But instead of giving a direct answer, Sam continues to shut him down, each time literally by refusing to speak and walking away. Now I tend to agree with Sam that it’s none of his business. Sam shouldn’t have to bare his trauma to explain something to Bucky just because Bucky wants him to. Especially when Bucky has not indicated that he’s willing or able to empathize with the reason. And on top of that, it being something sam knows Bucky cannot fully understand? I mean, I’m on Sam’s side here.

But the thing is, the show is setting it up so that Sam has to open up. He has to let Torres touch his machinery (metaphorically) he has to let Bucky get close to him (metaphorically). Sam has to let others in and he has to do it for himself, for his own healing. But I’m not yet sure why that’s so important for his journey, besides the obvious being this is a story about how to heal from trauma from every side.

So right now I think we’re just seeing Sam continue to drop hints both about what his trauma is and about the fact that he cares for Bucky, bc those are the important things for his resolution. This is continuing despite the therapy scene and not because of it, which I find odd, from a writing perspective. And we’re seeing Bucky miss a lot of those hints, bc he’s too busy being defensive to take them as genuine expressions of what they are, of exactly what he’s asking of Sam. That *does* make sense to me from a writing perspective. Because once he understands Sam’s POV, the throughline has to move forward toward resolution.

Idk. I just am not sure that I’m really getting Sam’s arc yet. That’s not to say that it’s not emotionally hitting, necessarily, bc I am firmly finding myself behind Sam.

And allllll of that is just to say: I agree that the emotional throughline feels a bit wobbly here, and I don’t have a way to reconcile it. I will take further suggestions if anyone has them.

[rivalsforlife]

i'm holding myself back from asking commentary on almost every scene from the catch up game bc i love so much how you wrote phoenix in that fic!! that said, could u do commentary on the last 2 scenes from the first chapter (party + gumshoe), if that's not too long or on parts of it if it's too much?

Sure thing!! The scenes on their own are already over 2000 words so I’ll put them under a keep reading for everyone’s peace of mind.

Alright let’s start then...

The bachelor party was beyond Phoenix’s expectations. He’d been expecting Edgeworth to be much stingier with the spending, considering his general attitude towards Gumshoe’s salary. But he’d agreed to rent the bar out and pay for one drink for everyone, plus transportation home for those who couldn’t do it themselves. Phoenix… was surprised, actually. He’d known for a long time now that Edgeworth appreciated Gumshoe much more than he let anyone know about, but it was still surprising to see in action.

this paragraph brought to you by My AAI2 Feelings, particularly the parts where Gumshoe really does come through in the investigations, so much that Miles actually gives him a salary raise at the end... it did a great job developing their friendship, I loved it a lot.

(Also I headcanon that after aai2 but possibly before that... every “I’m going to cut your salary!!” that Miles says does not actually result in a salary cut. poor gumshoe can barely feed himself as it is. but Miles can’t be, like... Nice about it so he’s just going to pretend. Gumshoe understands. it’s like an inside joke now.)

And honestly figuring out this whole party scene was such a pain. I still feel like it could be better but I’m not sure how? I just had the goal of “get someone to let it slip that Miles is in love with Phoenix” but then there was the issue of a) who knew Miles well enough to know this, and b) who knew Phoenix well enough to talk about it, and c) what circumstances would let them slip up and say it. The answer was Gumshoe because he can’t resist leaking information to the defense... even when it’s information about his boss’s personal life. oops.

Athena dropped by for a movie night, since Pearls was too young to attend. Phoenix wasn’t worried about them; he was sure they wouldn’t get into any more trouble than he and Maya could at the party.

OOF AWKWARD PARAGRAPH this is a remnant from when I shifted a lot of scenes around in this chapter. I thought it would be cute if Athena and Pearl were friends. And I think there was more to this but then it was distracting from the overall topic so I cut it out... resulting in this.

“Pals!” a familiar voice boomed at the entrance to the bar, and Phoenix soon found himself and Maya swept up in a bone-crushing hug. “I’m so glad you both could make it!”

“Gumshoe!” Maya returned the hug enthusiastically. “It’s been forever, man!”

“Sure has!” Gumshoe released them, allowing Phoenix the opportunity to wheeze and clutch at his ribs, while Gumshoe ruffled Maya’s hair. “Been keeping yourself out of trouble?”

“You know it!”

“Uh, I had several sleepless nights last year suggesting otherwise,” said Phoenix.

“Shut it, Nick.” Maya elbowed him, not helping with the situation with his ribs, and beamed.

a little bit of banter that really just serves as a transition thing. most of the party is actually both “transition scene to indicate that the party did, in fact, happen before I get to the important stuff” and “introduce some important character stuff while I have time to fill”. 

and of course these sleepless nights are in reference to pretty much the whole plot of SOJ... 

One last note that I think Gumshoe probably gives great hugs, if you can survive your ribs potentially being crushed in the process. he doesn’t mean anything by it. he’s big and strong and likes hugs so much he forgets how big and strong he is.

... ps I love Gumshoe

“But congrats, Gumshoe! Seems like just last decade Nick and I were wandering around trying to pass your lunches over to Maggey.”

“God, it’s been that long, hasn’t it?” Phoenix reminisced. It was odd, thinking back on cases he took before he was disbarred, before he became a father to a daughter who wasn’t even with him today.

Gumshoe chuckled. “Guess so, pals. You two’ve really been there since the beginning, huh? Maggey and I wouldn’t be here today without you.”

Phoenix smiled. “Aww, Gumshoe…”

“And that’s why I get to be maid of honor, huh?” asked Maya with a sly grin.

“Maid of honor?!” Phoenix looked to Gumshoe, who didn’t object, before rounding back on his best friend. “You didn’t tell me that!”

“You didn’t ask!” Maya sighed. “If it weren’t for me eating Gumshoe’s beloved bento box in front of Maggey, who knows if we’d be here today?”

“I don’t think that was a deciding factor at any point…”

Gumshoe clapped Phoenix on the shoulder. “Sorry, pal. Would’ve made you the best man, but, y’know… Mr. Edgeworth.”

“Yeah, of course, no hard feelings, pal.”

“What’d I tell you about stealing my trademark, huh, pal?” Gumshoe laughed before stepping back into the bar. “C’mon in, you two.”

REALLY just more awkward transition scenes haha. Maya is the maid of honor in this fic mostly because I went to Maggey’s profile page and she was the only woman listed under the “friends” list... and we don’t know much about Maggey’s personal life. plus more “Miles and Gumshoe friendship” agenda pushing in here!

There were more people there than Phoenix was expecting, and many of them he hadn’t met. Edgeworth had mentioned that he would let Gumshoe select the guest list, but he’d kind of expected this to be people the two of them knew. Or, at least, that Phoenix knew — Edgeworth seemed to recognize more, which was rare, and was currently speaking with someone Phoenix vaguely recognized as an Interpol agent he’d worked with on a few cases back when Phoenix would help him out in Europe.

Ema ran up to them and made small talk before she and Maya got caught up in discussion about some show Phoenix had never heard of, so he wandered off to find someone else to talk with.

And there was… no one, really. Gumshoe and Edgeworth were talking with strangers, and Phoenix didn’t want to butt in on that conversation — he thought he saw Larry lurking about but couldn’t find him right now — and anyone else Phoenix recognized he either hadn’t talked to in years or was sure didn’t recognize him.

Phoenix hadn’t realized just how much his disbarment affected him, in these little ways. He looked out over the crowd of people Gumshoe or Edgeworth spoke to and had no idea who they were. It had been eight years out of touch with the rest of the legal world — eight years to fall behind.

It was… oddly lonely. Eventually it was just Phoenix standing there at the bar with a glass of grape juice in his hand. He was beginning to wish he’d ordered some more euphemistic “grape juice” instead.

You know that feeling when you go to a party and your one (1) friend leaves you and then you have no one to talk to and don’t know what to do -- maybe? That’s kind of the thing. slight Lang cameo in there.

ORIGINALLY Ema and Maya were going to talk about Lana and Mia and kind of hint at some Lanamia stuff in there, but then I thought about it and really why would Phoenix pass up an opportunity to gossip about his boss’s past relationships. 

And this also tries to kind of go for one of the general... “themes” of the fic? More of an exploration into Phoenix’s loneliness/how he copes with not having people around him. RFTA and JFA in particular kind of really entrenched that he Does Not Do Well without people to take care of -- which comes up a lot during this fic. And part of getting to explore those issues is essentially me trying to make Phoenix as alone as possible. ... sorry Phoenix! 

Also in here is a lot of “disbarment should have messed up Phoenix more than DD and SOJ would lead you to believe” -- he essentially spent seven years completely disgraced, it’s unlikely he made a lot of notable legal connections, aside from maybe Miles and Miles’ social circle. He probably missed out on a lot.

The last paragraph there is just referencing the “grape juice” thing - I do believe it is literal grape juice and not an alcohol euphemism, and I believe it was also literal grape juice in the original, so that’s what it ends up being.

“Hey, Niiiick…”

… But Phoenix supposed that just when you’re feeling down, the Butz arrives to drag you down further. “Hey there, Larry.”

Larry slumped against the bar beside him with a sigh, a glass of what definitely wasn’t grape juice in his hand. “Y’know Franzy didn’t even show up to this?”

“I’m not surprised. Being whipped half to death during your own bachelor party isn’t anyone’s idea of a good time, y’know?” In truth, he knew Franziska couldn’t make it down until just a few days before the wedding because of work — or so Edgeworth had told him — though he couldn’t help but wonder if Gumshoe was grateful for it.

Larry muttered something under his breath that sounded like it might’ve been contradicting Phoenix’s last statement, which Phoenix decided he was certainly not going to press further on, before Larry cleared his throat and continued. “But why’re you out here by yourself, Nick? Maya ditched you?”

“No, not at all,” Phoenix lied. “Just… taking in the scenery.”

“... Huh. Never took you for the wallflower type.” Larry frowned. “I mean, we did use to spend school dances in the corner by ourselves… guess some things never change.”

“Please don’t remind me of middle school ever again.”

“I’ll drink to that,” said Larry, who then did. “But I get it, dude. I was kinda hoping for some more excitement here… more ladies…”

“Don’t worry Larry, I’m sure you’ll find someone else to pester tonight,” Phoenix commented dryly.

... enter Larry Butz.

I really did try to explore the relationships of all the important people in Phoenix’s life... Larry though is so insufferable in canon I didn’t really have the heart to fit him in, so he falls out. (Apollo also doesn’t show up much, aside from the bit in chapter 5, that’s because he’s in a different country and I couldn’t come up with much of a role for him.)

And I also do believe that Larry and Phoenix were super unpopular in school. Larry was... Larry, and Phoenix was probably very sensitive up until the Dahlia Incident, and together they had enough unlikable traits that anyone who could spend time with one wouldn’t want to hang out with the other, but the two of them were loyal to each other. It’s my headcanon that Phoenix’s only real close friends throughout his childhood were Larry and Miles, which is part of why he got so attached to Miles to change his career for him.

“Yeah.” Larry’s eyes scanned the crowd before landing on a woman with dark hair in a high ponytail, and his face brightened. Phoenix cringed preemptively.

“Little miss Kay!” Larry called out, as the woman looked their way. “Looking as cute as ever! And more grown up, too…”

Phoenix tensed, suddenly feeling the wrath of hell creeping up behind them.

“Larry Butz,” a deadly voice boomed, “if you go anywhere near her, I will sue you for everything you are worth, little though it may be.”

Larry jumped and spilled half his drink over his jacket. “Geez, Edgey,” he grumbled, scuttling off to find a napkin. Phoenix, hoping it was safe now with the target gone, turned back around to meet the glare of his other childhood friend. “Hey, Edgeworth.”

Larry being gross but more importantly: me pushing the Dadworth agenda! 

“You didn’t have to do that, Mr. Edgeworth,” said the woman with a laugh. “I’m an adult. I know how to effectively break someone’s kneecaps if they bug me.”

Edgeworth raised an eyebrow. “Though I don’t necessarily disapprove, do we need to talk about avoiding criminal records again, young lady?”

“Sheesh, you’re still treating me like a kid,” she huffed, before noticing Phoenix and extending a hand. “Sorry about that! Kay Faraday. I’m Mr. Edgeworth’s assistant.”

Edgeworth gave an exasperated sigh, though Phoenix could detect a note of fondness to it. “You haven’t been my assistant for over ten years, Kay.”

“So you finally admit I was your assistant at some point!”

“Ngrk…”

Phoenix laughed and took her hand. “Pleased to meet you. I’m Phoenix Wright, attorney at law.”

Kay grinned. “Oh, I know! Gummy debriefed me on you, Mr. That Man.”

“Kay,” Edgeworth warned.

“Plus I kept up with the news,” Kay continued, before Phoenix could say anything. “I’m a big fan of your work! Anyone who can take Mr. High-and-Mighty over there down a notch or two is a hero in my book.”

“Ha, I appreciate that.” Usually the first thing people said to Phoenix after saying they saw him on the news was much more negative.

I really still can’t believe Kay would be 27 here. that’s just so weird. she’s permanently seventeen in my mind. --- said by miles, probably

Even though this was supposed to be a fic about Phoenix’s important canon relationships Kay just wormed her way in here. I love her so I didn’t make any particular effort to take her out of this. Plus it gives me the opportunity to write my favourite things: Dadworth, and also Kay bullying Miles.

And yeah the part about people seeing Phoenix on the news is a reference to disbarment... can’t imagine anyone would have had anything particularly nice to say to him, especially those first few years.

“Kay has been assisting some of the prosecutors and myself through some tricky crime scenes lately,” Edgeworth informed him.

“Technically I’m a P.I., but Mr. Edgeworth said they’re really short-staffed these days, so I thought I’d lend him a hand,” Kay elaborated.

“Oh, so I might be running into you at the crime scene someday.”

“Probably!” She grinned. “Though I’m not gonna go easy on you just ‘cause Mr. Edgeworth likes you.”

“Kay.”

“Oh is that Ema over there?” Kay said loudly. “I’ve gotta run, see you around!”

She dashed off. Edgeworth sighed.

At first I made Kay just a straightforward detective, but I changed it pretty last minute. I feel like she’d want to do her own thing, plus this way she can assist from the outside when dealing with Dark Age of the Law Corruption-type stuff. Miles hires her because canon says he was left pretty short-staffed in SOJ. I’m not... totally sure what the laws are regarding private investigators working with police, but this is a fictional universe with fictional laws so I will do what I want.

Aside from that... more Kay making fun of Miles.

“She seems energetic,” Phoenix commented.

“Indeed she is.”

“... Why did she call me ‘Mr. That Man’?”

Edgeworth coughed. “I’ve not the slightest idea,” he said, turning his head to the side. “That aside, this whole affair is going much smoother than I expected, aside from that slight mishap.”

“Yeah, murder’s not really the best way to kick off a bachelor party, huh? Even if it is Larry. But I think we did alright.”

“Indeed.”

As if on cue, a loud cheer rose up from the crowd at the far corner of the bar.

“... Do you smell something?” Phoenix asked, and true to form, the swaying form of Larry crawled on top of a table.

People making fun of That Man is one of my favourite tropes regarding the AAI characters.

I don’t actually know how bachelor parties work, but if anyone can make them into an overly dramatized super wild party... it’s Larry.

Edgeworth groaned and began to storm off, but Phoenix grabbed him by the hand to hold him back. “Edgeworth, it’s a party, let them have their fun.”

“I… suppose so,” Edgeworth relented, but his hand was still tense in Phoenix’s.

Phoenix released him. “C’mon, we can chaperone from a safe distance.”

Edgeworth nodded wordlessly, but Phoenix could sense that same feeling of unease from him again. He opened his mouth to ask about it but a loud shout took up his attention — this was something that could be dealt with later, he thought, as he and Edgeworth rushed over to the scene.

Miles internal monologue: Wright is holding my hand. Wright is holding my hand. Wright is holding my hand writgh is holding my hand wright is holdin g my ha--

Phoenix: uh. edgeworth?

So in this fic... Miles is gradually working up the courage to confess to Phoenix. He finally worked out his own feelings at some point prior to this fic starting but can’t quite admit them yet, so every time Phoenix does anything that can be remotely construed as romantic he just goes “!!!” and it’s probably all he can think about for a week. Poor guy! I’m sure that when he finally confesses all will be well.

Hours later, as the party wound down and various taxis came to take people home, Phoenix found himself crowded in a booth with a tipsy Maya and a drunk, gushing Gumshoe.

“... and I know she’s gonna just be so beautiful, pals, and what if it’s too much?” Gumshoe asked, lying sideways against the table. “What if they don’t let me see her and then the day of the wedding I look’t her and… I die?”

“People have gotten married without dying, Gumshoe,” Phoenix consoled him.

“But they don’t marry Maggey, pal…”

Maya snorted. “With her luck, I wouldn’t be surprised if something like that happened.”

“Hey, don’t tell him that!” Phoenix hissed.

really this wedding should have had way more disaster than I wrote about... probably at least one murder.

“No, no, don’t mention her luck, she’s already so worried,” said Gumshoe. “We’ve checked off every good-luck wedding charm in th’ book… but she still thinks somethin’s gonna go wrong. I love her, I really, really love her, pals…” A far off look crossed his face, and Phoenix wondered if anyone would ever speak of him like that, “... but she worries so much…”

“What’s she worried about?” Maya asked, slumping over against Phoenix’s shoulder.

“Ceremony, reception, if people’re gonna show up, if we’re gonna lose somethin’ important… even ‘s far as the bouquet toss. I told her, if you’re not sure, just toss it in th’ direction of you,” he pointed at Phoenix, “or at Mr. Edgeworth, and maybe it’ll work.”

Phoenix frowned. “Why me?”

Gumshoe let out a burst of hearty laughter. “I’m thinkin’ if you or Mr. Edgeworth catches it, it’ll give ‘im the courage to finally ask you out, pal.”

Maya shot straight up. Phoenix froze. “... What?”

probably not the smoothest way to get to the entire reason why this bachelor party exists, BUT. 

Also it’s implied that Miles DID actually talk to Gumshoe about this at some point. probably Gumshoe caught him pining at a bad time haha.

“Y’know the old tradition, whoever catches it is the next to get married and all…” Gumshoe stared at them for a moment, before his eyes widened and a look of absolute horror crossed his face. “O-Oh! Crap! Pal!”

“Edgeworth wants to ask Nick out?!” Maya shrieked.

“FINALLY! IT’S ABOUT FREAKING TIME!”

originally Gumshoe used a much stronger word than “crap” but idk Gummy doesn’t seem like the type to curse much...? Maybe it’s a stretch haha. also “pal” as an exclamation is my favourite little Gumshoe speech tic

“Shh, shh!” Gumshoe reached over to clamp a hand over her mouth but fell, collapsing on the table. “You heard nothin’ from me, pals, got it? Mr. Edgeworth’s gonna kill me if he finds out… worse, stop funding the wedding…”

Death is one thing but the WEDDING...

And I can’t remember if I mentioned at any point that Miles was also funding the wedding haha but it’s probably also something he wouldn’t want to tell anyone. Gumshoe with his perpetually terrible salary (which is also Miles’ fault) plus Maggey with her inability to hold down a job before being fired in a murder-related incident probably means they don’t have a lot for a nice wedding so Miles offered. secretly and evasively. because he’s a nice person but also doesn’t want anyone to know that.

Maya stared at Phoenix, her mouth agape, as Gumshoe continued mumbling to himself under his breath about the various consequences of Edgeworth’s hypothetical wrath. Phoenix, meanwhile, felt like his brain had short-circuited.

That wasn’t possible. He must have heard Gumshoe wrong. Edgeworth didn’t think of him that way. Edgeworth didn’t think about anyone that way, Phoenix had thought, for the longest time.

Little do you know, Phoenix! 

Touching on the aroace Miles headcanon here because it’s a very valid interpretation of his actions even if it’s not my own...

… Even if Edgeworth had been acting strange lately, even if something in his expression softened when he looked at Phoenix, even if…

No. Phoenix quickly shoved that thought to the back of his mind. There were many things he knew about Edgeworth, and one of those was that Edgeworth saw him as a part-time friend and part-time annoyance, but never a romantic interest of any kind. The thought of it was just… just unbelievable.

Phoenix craned his head around, catching sight of a familiar pink jacket across the room and watched Edgeworth in the middle of some phone call. He would know if Edgeworth was interested in him that way… wouldn’t he?

At first “the back of his mind” was “the overflowing mental trunk of repression” but that seemed a little too on the nose. Just know that’s essentially what he’s doing.

Another thing I wanted to establish throughout the fic was how close Phoenix and Miles are now -- they essentially know each other really well. And thinking about that part in Turnabout Goodbyes where Phoenix declares that “I’m the only one who knows the real Edgeworth”, I kind of interpreted that Phoenix Knowing Things About Edgeworth is an important part of their relationship to him. And the occasions where Miles did surprise him (with some aspect of his personality) weren’t always very good things... realizing he’d turned into a “demon prosecutor”, then the “choosing death” part... it’s a lot of my headcanons running away from me haha. Basically in this fic, Phoenix thinks he knows Edgeworth so well because he’s so close with him so an indication that there’s something about Edgeworth he doesn’t know or has completely wrong kind of... connects to him /not/ being as close to Edgeworth as he thinks he is? Maybe? And being close to him is something very important to Phoenix.

(This is not my personal opinion though haha, people can and will surprise you no matter how well you know them... but this fic is Phoenix’s Relationship Issues: The Fic, so.)

And no one else has mentioned the scenes where it comes up yet so I’ll talk about it here -- a lot of my editing process involved going through the fic and cutting out every instance of Phoenix either talking about him hypothetically being in love with Miles, or of Miles being in love with him. I just ctrl+f “love” and cut out whatever fit the criteria. Phoenix’s interpretation of Miles’ actions up until the end of chapter 5 isn’t exactly that Miles is Capital-L In Love with him, more that it’s like... a little crush? Mayyybe some physical attraction. Misconstrued admiration. Not anything so severe that Miles would willingly initiate a conversation about Feelings. so “He would know if Edgeworth was in love with him” changed to “He would know if Edgeworth was interested in him that way” because part of Phoenix’s issue here is that he can’t actually directly acknowledge the possibility that he’s in love with Miles or that Miles is in love with him. It’s a whole complicated thing I’ll probably talk about in the next commentary I do?

This got long but there’s the end of the chapter! I’ll answer more later...? These take up a lot of time haha.

[solariic]

what does the dark type really mean?

so i just went through all the pokedex entries of dark type pokemon to understand the type better, bc it’s kind of ambiguous compared to other types. i’d say dark and fairy types are the most indirect, not straightforward types to understand, bc... what does that really mean?

what i gathered on a general scheme is that dark types are cunning, stealthy, aggressive, resourceful, smart, territorial, protective, and backed into a corner. there are different pokemon that exemplify just one of these traits, or all of them, but for the most part, they all seem to come from a place of ‘i or my kind have known hurt and being hunted, so our goal is to make ourselves seem like the biggest, baddest ones out there in favor of protecting our own, even when we’re backed into a corner.’ they’re often ruthless and tricky in order to get the results they want. those results can vary from being the strongest on the block (power for the sake of power) to don’t fuck with me (power for the sake of protecting and covering old wounds). it seems that dark types of the ‘misunderstood type’ or the ‘trauma type’. and in the case of mightyena and even malamar to an extent, they just want to be left alone and won’t hesitate to bite to get people to stop messing with them (without intent of hunting them down to start).

on another point, dark types are often judged to be bad omens, bad luck, or a sign of harm. their pokedex entries don’t really indicate their behavior, but more how humans view them, which become the main observation about the pokemon itself.

here are some pokemon dex entries that really stood out to me about different behaviors.

causing harm or mischief with the intent to protect itself or its kind:

Darkrai - To protect itself, it afflicts those around it with nightmares. However, it means no harm.

Zorua - To protect themselves from danger, they hide their true identities by transforming into people and Pokémon.

Zoroark - This Pokémon cares deeply about others of its kind, and it will conjure terrifying illusions to keep its den and pack safe.

primary information about human reaction to them:

Murkrow - Feared and loathed by many, it is believed to bring misfortune to all those who see it at night.

Houndoom - Long ago, people imagined its eerie howls to be the call of the grim reaper.

Sableye - Sableye lead quiet lives deep inside caverns. They are feared, however, because these Pokémon are thought to steal the spirits of people when their eyes burn with a sinister glow in the darkness.

Absol - Absol has the ability to foretell the coming of natural disasters. It lives in a harsh, rugged mountain environment. This Pokémon very rarely ventures down from the mountains.

displays of outward, almost ‘bullying’, aggression to assert dominance but often with a soft spot:

Linoone - It uses its long tongue to taunt opponents. Once the opposition is enraged, this Pokémon hurls itself at the opponent, tackling them forcefully.

Scrafty - While mostly known for having the temperament of an aggressive ruffian, this Pokémon takes very good care of its family, friends, and territory.

Pangoro - Although it possesses a violent temperament, it won't put up with bullying. It uses the leaf in its mouth to sense the movements of its enemies.

Incineroar - Incineroar's rough and aggressive behavior is its most notable trait, but the way it helps out small Pokémon shows that it has a kind side as well.

and another, outlier entry that caught my eye as to the more ‘moonlight’ concept of the dark type.

Umbreon - When exposed to the moon's aura, the rings on its body glow faintly and it gains a mysterious power.

umbreon has no indication of any of the dark type traits except that it hunts in the night and stalks its prey from the shadows, but it does identify interest in the moon and moon power. this makes me think there is some kind of connection between (some) dark types and the power of ‘night’, connected to the moon or silence or that sense of alertness you get at night.

now, there are definitely the dark types that are solely identified as thieves (nickit, thievul, purrloin, liepard, sneasel) who act deceptively in order to steal from humans or other pokemon. a lot of behavior based off of surviving. like how a fox might steal from an unknowing camper. 

i don’t really have a conclusion to this. i just found it interesting to identify the meaning of the dark type, and how it pertains to piers as the first dark gym leader (tho not first dark trainer overall, bc past elite four and whatnot). he has to be able to conquer and master these traits if he’s meant to be a master of dark types, which he is. it seems easy to underestimate him, but there’s more than meets the eye. there’s a level of combativeness that won’t back down when fighting a bigger enemy, though he’s not likely to face it head on. that’s not really a dark type strategy (except for the dark/fighting dual types). dark types are smart and crafty and resourceful. they’re basically slytherins.

but they’re not evil. there’s a lot of use of dark types in evil orgs in pokemon. a vulture eating an abandoned baby animal isn’t evil. it’s just an animal surviving. and piers will fight this point until he dies.

don’t reblog

[tickfleato]

writing down my current structure/regulation method with ADHD, bc it occurs to me it could be helpful for other people as a coping method! this got long so it’s under the cut

so ive got a current method im liking! note that it works best with meds - my meds don’t work very well (or at least are super unreliable) when i don’t have structure, so i this is specifically meant to work with them. it involves task lists so i can organize my thoughts. the first one is a document i always have up in text edit titled ‘do it’ that i’m using as like... working memory/immediate task list. if i have a thought i need to hold onto, i write it down in there, if i’m trying to figure out what’s making my brain go YOU HAVE UNFINISHED WORK i write down everything i can think of, if i have a task i’m blocked w/ i write down all the steps to see if that works. i also clear it when i have new stuff, it’s not dedicated to any particular project but just what i need at the time

this is what it looks like right now:

you can see one working memory thing (30+ mins) which ive forgotten what i meant it for but it was used! and the rest is my current tasks in order for the costume i’m making. notably it has options for if the beginning task has a block on it! one of which is organization, and it also has repeat stuff - the glue gun takes 5 minutes to heat up and i turn it off when i’m done using it even for short periods, so i put “get ye glue gun” for every instance i have to turn it on.

the SECOND thing i have is kind of a more long term/broad version, in this case it’s all the tasks i have for the next 6-ish hours, broken down into steps (which are broken down further in my Do It doc). i used color to indicate priority. i have a lot of issues prioritizing in my head (hello exec dysfunction) but if i write stuff down, especially if i have someone else’s help, i can usually figure it out a bit! red is high priority, brighter is More (YOU ARE HERE) indicates next planned bit. blue is lower priority or optional. brightest red stuff is what i have to absolutely finish by the time i gotta leave for school

these also double as non-guilty procrastination fuel/break time stuff, bc when i have something i need or want to do but have a block on starting/am putting off i’ll write a breakdown of it. it may or may not be helpful but it makes me feel productive

what’s good about these is they give me flexible structure, schedule is based on what’s immediately next so i can work as long as i want & hyperfocus/flow isn’t broken, and i can take breaks whenever i get to a point i’m stuck. when i get to a break, i go back to my list & delete what i’ve already done & pick what i’m doing next. what’s good about this is any time i lose track of what i’m doing and just kinda stand there, i go back and look at my list and i can check in with what i’ve got done and what i need to do.

this method is great for when you get possessed by the spirit of arts and crafts at 10 pm on october fucking 29th and decide to make a whole halloween costume in a day and a half. it’s 1:24 am oct 31 right now and i’ve gotten most of a handmade paper mask done, gonna do an all-nighter and finish this babyyyyyy

i’ve come to terms with the fact that it’ll probably stop working eventually when the novelty wears off, but i can cycle back to it eventually. would love if my brain could stick with stuff but, alas, it cannot. 

[marshmallowgoop]

I see your excellent meta on Satsuki and raise you the possibility that perhaps Satsuki had consciously and willingly made the decision to utilize and thus nearly and wholly become a monster like her mother. That she was willing to take on what that would entail bc the world was at stake and her own morals couldnt trump the existence of the world. I think that otherwise, it takes away one of the ways she had agency under her mother and lessens the impact of the situation had on what she could do

(Continued from the Satsuki ask sorry for the delay) I feel like once I stumbled upon that concept of her active choice to do monstrous things within the confines of her situation, a lot of understanding Satsuki flowed naturally, you know? Just the fact that with Soroi she acknowledges that she was once was kinder indicates that she’s more self aware than her (possibly simplified) apology implies.

So, I think it’s a little complicated.

Satsuki absolutely made a deliberate, conscious choice to do monstrous things that she completely and totally understood to be monstrous. As Gamagoori explains directly after Satsuki literally backstabs her mother, “to deceive Director Ragyo, [Satsuki] could not allow her true intentions to show in the slightest.”

If Satsuki behaved as the smiling, sweet girl she’s described as being in the official light novel—that is, if she didn’t play her part as the cruel, dictatorial Student Council President that she’s first introduced as—then Ragyo would have killed her just as Ragyo (eventually, in a sense) killed Satsuki’s father. Satsuki very much made a choice: she would be a monster to the students of Honnouji Academy so that she could carry out her plan and save the planet. She could have run away, or she could have decided that she would never allow herself to resemble her awful mother and gotten destroyed for nothing, but she didn’t do any of that. 

I wholly agree that Satsuki wasn’t just some passive prisoner here. Satsuki was always fighting in the best way she knew how, and she was well aware of the costs; after all, she directly acknowledges the horrors of her actions when she declares, “Even if [my methods] invite scorn as a conniving villain, I gladly welcome it!”

But. But. 

Satsuki can so confidently say that she welcomes being thought of as a villain because, deep down, she knows that’s not the real her. The cold, calculating leader of Honnouji Academy is a mask, a lie, a cover. Satsuki’s true self is moral and just; Satsuki’s true self is the kind of person that her mother could never, ever comprehend.

Heck, Satsuki even says as much! As she finally faces Ragyo in battle, Satsuki asserts that her cause is “a noble cause resulting from personal feelings” and that “[s]omeone like [Ragyo], whose soul is enchained by Life Fibers, could never understand.”

So here’s where the complicated stuff comes in. Satsuki has this opinion of herself that she’s good and noble no matter what she had done to accomplish her goals, but… had she actually taken her role too far?

Because Satsuki wasn’t just cruel to the students at her school. She was also cruel to her friends and the people who would do anything to protect her. She used them just as she used everyone else; perhaps most notably, she smiled at Uzu’s pain because she understood how much more useful he’d be for it. No matter how just her cause, and no matter how much her horrific rule over Honnouji was a ruse to achieve her dream, she still behaved as her mother in situations that she shouldn’t have.

And it’s completely understandable that she did. To be vulnerable, to let any bit of emotion show… it could cost Satsuki—and her friends—their lives. She could give away everything too soon. So, Satsuki overdoes it. She pretends even when she doesn’t have to as a defense mechanism—to eliminate the possibility of ever “slipping” in front of Ragyo.

Heck, I know it’s probably annoying for me to dump one of my fics in here, but maybe this dreamy, stream-of-consciousness-styled thing best conveys my thinking with all this: 

And Satsuki is five years old again. Her father is wiping away her tears and telling her to be strong. She is five years old and she stands before her mirror at night and looks deep into her own eyes and says that she has to pretend she must pretend she cannot afford to not pretend.

And Mankanshoku squeezes Satsuki’s hand now, and Satsuki is eight years old again. She’s eight years old and Soroi is by her side and dressing the wounds on her palms and twisting around her fingers. She’s eight years old and sore and hurting and her throat is clogged up but she will not cry she cannot she will not and Soroi says that it’s okay to stop pretending sometimes, my lady, I know you, I know you.

In any case, I’ve argued in the past that Satsuki’s change of heart occurs because she realizes that Ryuko is her sister and that she’d been manipulating this person she’d been fighting for all along, and that thought ties directly into everything I’ve just discussed. What spurs on Satsuki’s apology in my mind isn’t that she purposely became a monster and regrets it, per se; it’s that she became a monster to people she shouldn’t have because she grew so used to pretending that she lost sight of her true kind, sweet soul. 

As Satsuki admits herself, she “believed [she] could manipulate [Ryuko] and use [Ryuko] as an asset against Ragyo even without telling [Ryuko] the truth.” Satsuki was afraid to trust anyone, and, as a result, she severely hurt the baby sister who drove her to act in the first place. She was utilizing Ragyo’s methods even when she wasn’t exactly playing out her role as Honnouji Academy’s heartless ruler, and the thought of being like her mother without meaning to both terrifies her and inspires her to change.

I know this all got ridiculously long, and I wholeheartedly admit that I struggle to “get” Satsuki as a character (and I’m curious about what “excellent meta on Satsuki” that you’re referring to, Anon!). All I’ve written is simply my interpretation, but I will say: the fact that Satsuki recognizes her errors and decides to change her ways makes her such a commendable character in my eyes.

[kagayaku-yoru-kara-nigasenai]

@ophanem​ reblogged your photoset:

#kaitou joker#phantom thief joker#yk i always found it weird that joker seems mostly mentally stable despite literally everything that happens to him#like i dig the ‘theres always a way out!’ mentality but duuuuude your parents are dead you got shot and got a whole village of people killed#you watched your archnemesis the one who killed your parents and the village in the first place melt into a puddle of blood and flesh from#acid. like the shit jack goes thru and sees Isnt Ideal For Him To See. and honestly the only few scenes i can think of where he really displ#ays a possible result of ptsd is like. once in the rainbow justice episode when rj is like ‘NO ONE WILL CARE IF I DIE BC EVERYONE THAT LOVED#ME IS DEAD’ and that episode where the thieves travel back in time to agent silver time and agent silver is like SUPER injured? idk i just f#eel like joker should have more Issues than as depicted. Yes I Shouldnt Be Analyzing This BC This Is A Childrens Anime but STILL!#i bet he just represses all of the bad memories#witnessed a child get shot multiple times? just repress it! just disintegrated a man with acid? JUST REPRESS IT!!!!!!!!

see this exactly is why joker rocketed through my favorite characters ranking into a top spot so cleanly: I LOVE characters that are way more complex than they seem at a glance and hideyasu takahashi himself could bust through my window and specifically tell me that joker really is nothing more or less than he appears to be and that it’s Not That Deep and I’d have to be like “bullshit, you created a rich, multi-faceted, and deeply human character and whether you intended to or not doesn’t make change that”

sure he doesn’t act like anything bothers him all that much, but have you seen this guy when he’s in disguise? he’s a fantastic actor. way back in the first season when he pretended to be hachi vs. hyakkimaru and the other koga ninjas he left no room for even the audience to doubt that he wasn’t the real hachi, genuinely upset and crying after being abandoned by “joker,” even though disguised hachi leaves some hints that he might not be the real joker e.g. in how he kinda flails around screaming and how he pulls out a ninjato (?? idk weapons very well). also notable is how the story never, NEVER shows what joker’s really thinking. other characters, especially hachi, will occasionally have their exact thoughts shown like dialogue, but for joker we only ever get his expressions and the things he explicitly says out loud. maybe it’s just make him as “mysterious” as the title implies but it also makes it seem like he’s hiding things from the audience, and as a result you can never really be sure when he’s being 100% genuine about how he feels and when he’s just using his acting skills to make it seem like he really isn’t bothered by anything

anyway what I’m getting at is that the fact that it’s a children’s anime doesn’t completely take it off the table that joker could still be very affected by all the seriously messed up stuff he’s experienced, witnessed, and even sometimes CAUSED - it just means it’s less likely to explore those topics directly. personally I think that the way his facade sometimes cracks, like as you mentioned when agent silver is badly hurt and he’s led to believe that he might have even died and also when hachi straight up dies right in front him, indicates that there could very well be much more to his character than what he shows people. I also think it’s pretty indicative of just how much losing his parents the way he did affected him in that both of the times he’s NOT able to keep it together.... involve losing his family - or specifically, people he wasn’t even willing to admit were family until he thought he’d already lost them forever

so idk, there’s room to believe that joker is well-adjusted and stable if that’s what you prefer but imo there’s more than enough evidence to build a case for the opposite

[noussommeslessquelettes]

Realistic ways to show a character is multilingual through dialogue (based on the things my family and I actually do):

Confusion with verb conjugation in English (almost exclusively with irregular verbs)

Purposely saying basic phrases/words in another language (hi, bye, let’s go, etc.)

Saying things in their native language with a bad English accent

Saying things in English with a bad native lx accent

Baby-speaking to animals/infants in their native lx

Mixing languages only with people who speak both languages--this could mean asking a question in one language and getting the answer in another, using one word from one language in a sentence otherwise constructed in the other, or switching languages halfway in a sentence (a notable one I used recently to my mother was “wanna дај ми?”)--done most commonly to shorten the number of syllables, and will only be used otherwise if the person doesn’t know/remember how to say it completely in one of the languages

Speaking non-English in public places with another native lx speaker as a means of privacy (also works the other way around in a native lx public place) Sidenote: this isn’t only done when discussing something private/embarrassing/etc., I do it all the time with my family simply because what I want to say is only for their ears and doesn’t matter to the other people around us

Teaching their non-native-lx-speaking friends words/phrases from their native lx (more often than not just to make fun of the pronunciation, English speakers have a surprising difficulty rolling rs lmao)

Accidentally slipping into their native lx when trying to speak another secondary language. Accidental slips into native lx from English (assuming the chara lives in an English language community) are incredibly rare, however accidentally switching between two secondary-use languages are embarrassingly common (I can’t tell you how many times I’ve slipped into Macedonian during French class, or how many times I’ve responded to my Macedonian grandmother in French)

Slips in English happen essentially in one of two scenarios. One: the speaking multilingual character is a child and “”accidentally”” slipped into another language (this happens all the time and is purposeful, but once again only younger kids do this to try and show off that they’re multilingual). And two: it’s a knee-jerk reaction, pretty much exclusively a single word/short phrase. An example that happened to me was when someone stepped into danger without realising and I accidentally yelled “watch out!” to them in the wrong language

Teaching people they’re close with sayings/turns-of-phrase in their native lx. After it’s been explained to non-speakers, they might use the phrase wherever English fails them

Trying to figure out words/phrases from a language of the same family using their language. I’m always using my French to try and decipher Spanish and Italian lol (ofc make sure the roots of the words are similar in both languages: the difference between Macedonian колена and Russian коленный is negligible, the difference between Spanish olas and French vagues is not)

Cursing, on occasion. I don’t usually curse/interject in another language unless I’m alone or I’m in my native lx mindset. So like, if I’m at home and thinking in Macedonian, I’d be most likely to interject in Macedonian, then if I’m alone (or I don’t think anyone’s listening) it’d be kind of a toss-up depending on where my head is, and if I’m around English speakers I’d likely opt for a “fuck” or “damn” rather than a “леле” or “ајајај”

Talking themselves through tasks. Ex. I always ask “кај си, кај си, кај си...” when I’m digging through my bag for my keys. Again, this is mostly just because it’s shorter to say that than “where are you, where are you, where are you...”

Tips and pointers for making the inclusion flow well with the story:

Use these indicators sparingly, especially if you’re not multilingual. People who already speak multiple languages will have a better feel for when it is/isn’t likely for language switches to happen, so my advice is that if you’re not sure, err on the side of caution, and it will be a helluva lot more realistic, as well as less of a pain for your readers to sift through.

If you need to provide translation, it’s likely that you’re overusing the non-English language. Listen, it’s great if you want to write multilingual characters speaking their native lxs, I love seeing representation of that in fiction!!! However, if I’m having to switch tabs five times a chapter to Google Translate, it’s gonna throw me out of the story. Moreover, to someone who does speak the language, it might throw them out of the story if they’re reading something that’s clearly been shoved into Google Translate and copypasted (and trust me it’s incredibly evident when something’s been Google Translated without being edited.)

Multilingual people only really speak their other languages to non-speakers they’re comfortable with. Unless I’m close to someone, I seldom ever use my other languages when speaking to them. The only times I really do is when I forget they don’t speak the language (like with my non-speaking dad bc I’m so used to talking Macedonian at home), or when I’m really struggling for a word with a close friend and only remember it in another language. I’ve seen it’s a common thing for a multilingual character to talk about non-speakers they’ve just met to their face in their language which is a thing... none of us do, honestly. There’s no point to talk to someone in our native lx if we don’t think they can speak it lmao.

Don’t be afraid to write multilingual characters who aren’t wholly/evenly fluent in their native lx. A lot of the time, people who are born and raised in English-dominant countries are a lot more fluent in English than their native lx. Really, if they character doesn’t have a non-English accent, it’s more likely than not that English is their strongest language, and given that they’d only practice their native lx at home (unless they’re taking formal classes), it’s likely they’re not as fluent as you’re imagining them. Honestly, most second-generation immigrants (or people who immigrated as infants) who speak a non-English language at home can hardly speak a phrase, and are a lot stronger at listening and understanding than speaking. In my experience, this goes especially so for non-European languages (if I were to hazard a guess this is either because of the differences between non-Euro language structure and English linguistic structure, or prejudice against languages that sound too “ethnic,” or likely a mixture of both.) However, this happens less in areas of higher concentration of a non-English (or, as is the case in Canada, non-official-language) language. For example, I live in an area with a higher Chinese population than the national average, and a lot of the second-generation children I see speak a dialect of Chinese with their parents as well as any other kids who speak it. In addition, make sure you decide how fluent the character is gonna be at the start, and make it consistent.

As with any other element of your story, if you want to do it justice you’re going to have to do a little bit of research into it. Research doesn’t have to be daunting, though: listening to songs in your target language is a great way to figure out how sentences are roughly constructed in that lx, digging up your old class notes if you have them can also do you a world of good, and there are shows like One Day at a Time (on Netflix) that provide really good insight to when and how multilingual speakers use their language. Like, I can’t force you to do extra work for your story--I mean you might not even find it worth the effort, which is fine--but if you really want it to read well then you have to research it. Hell, I wouldn’t write a story with hockey in it if I didn’t get some insight into hockey, and if I didn’t do my research then it’d be pretty clear to someone who does know hockey that I’m talking out my ass.

Aaaanyways this is mostly a personal reference but feel free to reblog/add to this if u like!

[genderfluxthings]

I just visited the genderflux page on the "gender wiki" and saw that it's currently tagged with "This page is about a gender not yet accepted by the trans community. This tag is to remain until there's consensus (by the wiki) or a citation to such consensus by wider trans community." My heart kind of sank when I saw that bc i'm questioning and "genderflux" has been really speaking to me. Do you think it's not accepted as an identity itself or not accepted just specifically as a trans identity?

this is their policy on a gender being added to the wiki: 

“All genders created for this wiki or imported from one source must be marked with {{NewGender}} template until such time as deemed notable and accepted by the community. It is preferred that genders without this tag have either a link or citation proving it notability and/or acceptance by the Trans community or gender nonconforming community but it is not required.”

so i think that all their saying in this policy is that genders can be added but because of the standards that are used by all wikis it needs to be cited in some way. so in this case the citation would be some indication that genderflux is a widely accepted term in the trans community. 

so if you feel like genderflux fits you then that’s the label you should use. no matter how you identify or what label you choose to use, you are valid. 

if you decide that genderflux isn’t the right label for you feel free to send in another ask. or you can check here: 

https://transgenderteensurvivalguide.tumblr.com/post/59381012320/what-am-i

to answer your last question, i think that genderflux is widely accepted but they just haven’t found a way to cite it yet for the wiki. and even if they end up deleting the article that doesn’t make genderflux as and identify any less valid. 

i identify as trans feminine and non binary. i use trans feminine and not trans woman because i don’t full identify as female. so i use both labels to describe my gender. 

so someone could also identify as both genderflux and trans.