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northstarco · 2 months

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─── HIGHER THAN THE CLOUDS

⟡﹐ꊞ niko's eras (except it's a deep dive) !

⟡﹐ꊞ oh i need to take a long sigh for this.. okay! so niko's eras can be split into three categories: good, bad, and downright horrible. from the moment he debuted, bad luck seemed to follow him around like a lost puppy. with him almost breaking his bones every era, having to face the weirdest interview questions, being picked apart by korean netizens because he looked at someone the wrong way, and being the target of insanely specific rumors, things never really seemed like they were ever going niko's way. he's definitely had many good moments, moments that most nctzens enjoy reminiscing on, but those good moments are often overshadowed by his many bad and downright horrible moments, much to his own dismay.

(2016) : AN UNEXPECTED DEBUT & A BROKEN ARM !

19 YEAR OLD NIKOLAS made a surprising (as in surprising to both him and his new fandom) debut as an nct u member with the "7th sense". now, the reason this debut was surprising is because it was a last minute decision really. he had been told that his debut in the first ever nct unit would be "unlikely", so he wasn't preparing to debut in the unit, they kind of just threw him in there a month before the song was originally released. so he basically had no time to do anything, no time to write lyrics, and no time to learn lines. so, at nineteen years old, niko made his debut in the first ever nct u lineup with absolutely no lines. no really, he did a few adlibs and backing vocals, but he didn't really sing.. or rap, or do anything.

debut era niko was really like how he is now, he was quiet, reserved, and didn't talk unless he had to. he was regarded as a strange mix in the group, sm really just threw in this random australian guy with long hair in nct? opinions on niko were all very mixed, most people liked that he didn't talk much, that he was respectful, that he clearly enjoyed performing, but others weren't too nice. they felt he didn't add anything to the group, he wasn't interesting, he was too quiet, he let everyone else do the talking, he was all of these things they didn't like, he sadly wasn't a fan favorite.

the 7th sense era is one niko looks back on with furrowed eyebrows. he sometimes wishes he could've done more, especially considering how little he talked. he couldn't even bring himself to answer questions, especially the.. bad ones. a particular one he remembers is from a snickering interviewer who had just enough time to ask if he was trying to pass as a man or a woman, clearly wanting to elicit a tempered reaction from him. the only thing he responded with was a dry chuckle, leaving the question unanswered as taeyong quickly took over, changing the subject.

so, in niko's terms at least, his debut era was a good one, it had a few hiccups, but it wasn't as bad as what would come in future years.

nctzens didn't have to wait long, because a few months later in july, a now 20 YEAR OLD NIKO would go on to debut in nct 127 with "fire truck". though only 3 months after his debut in nct u, fire truck niko was much more lively, well— as lively as someone as introverted as him can be. he felt much more comfortable in showcasing his humor, and while he was still the quietest member, he definitely talked more than he did the previous era. fire truck era nikolas was running his mouth like there was no tomorrow, whether it be telling stupid jokes, almost cursing out jaehyun during the mv behind, and almost spoiling nct dream's debut right after their debut stage (he had mentioned kihyun while retelling a funny story to the camera, but he thankfully didn't say anymore, quickly getting shut up by a bruising nudge from mark).

midway through fire truck promotions, nikolas had to step out after suffering a dangerous fall and breaking his ulna. the funniest thing (niko likes to say it was funny, but the members weren't so amused) is that it happened right in the middle of a performance, niko slipped on the stage and used his elbow to cushion the blow, slamming forcefully into the metal and fracturing his ulna in the process. he didn't even realize his bone was actually broken until he complained to a manager about the pain, and by that point, his arm had already been bleeding excessively. though he tried to pass it off as not that bad, it was, and niko sat out of the rest of fire truck promotions as his arm healed.

still, even with a broken arm and having to sit out of performing for a good chunk of the year (one of his favorite things in the whole world), fire truck was a good era, he was definitely feeling better than he did during his original debut. niko remembers his debut with 127 as a fun time, even with the broken bones.

(2017) : THE MEMES, THE GIGGLES, & ILLUMINATI RUMORS ?

a (STILL) 20 YEAR OLD NIKOLAS made his eventual return with the groups second extended play, "limitless". though he couldn't move his arm much without letting out a wince of pain, he was much better off than he was in july of 2016 when his ulna almost came apart. for starters, he was becoming much more talkative, considering johnny and doyoung were now around for him to poke fun at, but especially his fellow 96 liner, because he was much too afraid of the second eldest's wrath. limitless era niko is often overlooked because, again, he didn't do much singing. he did rap, of course, but it was short and sweet, he wasn't allowed to showcase any of his talents, unfortunately.

a moment during limitless era most fans love to remember is during the mv commentary, where niko could not stop talking about doyoung the whole time. it was really during limitless era that these two became a fan favorite duo, because they were the epitome of best friends. they were bickering about stupid things backstage, onstage, during the mv commentary, during the mv behind, they were the funniest duo in the world. fans never realized how close they were because they never seemed to want to talk to each other during the 7th sense era. nikolas knew exactly how to push doyoung's buttons, and the older would do nothing but clench his fists and threaten him with punches.

limitless era ended with a bang.. literally, because right as their last stage for the era ended, niko accidentally dropped his microphone on the stage after the show winners had been announced, letting out a swear which was heard by the fellow idols standing around, who ducked their heads down to let out tiny giggles and snickers. the instance became a viral video, as niko's slippery fingers, his swearing, and the look of horror on his face was enough to get laughs out of fans everywhere, and even from people who had no idea who he was. he received many teasings and mimics of the whole situation from the members, but besides all of his fake pouts, limitless was a good era for niko.

no more than five months later, a 21 YEAR OLD NIKO would return with 127 with cherry bomb and a constantly debated involvement in lyrics. technically, cherry bomb should've been considered niko's songwriting debut, as he helped both taeyong and mark with lyrics on the title track, but he isn't credited as a lyricist on the albums liner notes. now, niko has never really addressed this situation, the only reason anyone even knew he helped with the lyrics of cherry bomb was because the members brought it up one time during a vlive in late 2017, but it is often debated by nctzens, one side of the fandom thinking niko deserved lyrical credits because he helped in writing the lyrics and another side of the fandom saying that he shouldn't have received lyrical credits because his fellow rappers did most of the work.

cherry bomb is undeniably one of niko's best eras, and it's an era he often looks back on with fondness. his humor truly shined this era, as he made sure to solidify himself as one of the funniest nct members. though niko was quiet, he was hilarious. some of his most iconic moments ever stem from cherry bomb era, whether it was his many sarcastic comments during nct life in osaka, or him stating he's never thought about his ideal type in a woman, it was clear that niko had a natural knack for variety.

now onto the groups first win, oh niko looked so confused, probably because he couldn't hear anything anyone was saying. when the confetti went off, he was much too busy trying to get the ringing out of his ears to even realize the group had won a music show award. he only saw taeyong begin tearing up and panicked because he thought something was wrong, but then, while hiding his giggles behind his hand, taeil explained that they had gotten their first win. it was a hilarious moment that's always ended up in niko compilations on youtube.

towards the end of cherry bomb era came the rise of, hilariously enough, conspiracy theories. something about niko really spurred these kpop conspiracy theorists, because they all seemed to come to a unanimous agreement that he was secretly an illuminati member. the rumors were ridiculous, clearly, but niko had no idea these rumors existed until johnny brought it up to him after they finished one of their stages, literally dying laughing as he watched the younger's face form into one of shock, but he did what seemed funniest at the time, fueled the rumors, he did that triangle hand sign thing, mimicking that popular jay z photo, he found it hilarious how rumors of it spread so quickly, and he's never said anything public about it.

cherry bomb was a good era, arguably niko's best era.

(2018) : AN OFFICIAL SONGWRITING DEBUT & A FEW SLIPUPS !

having graduated from college and suddenly full of inspiration, 22 YEAR OLD NIKOLAS made his (this time actually credited) songwriting debut on regular-irregular with the song knock on, an incredibly underrated song that deserves to be performed live at least ONCE. anyway, it was clear that regular was a song niko loved performing, because he was always giggling during the stages and jumping up and down during dance practice, he was enjoying every second of regular promotions.

regular not only marked niko's (officially credited) songwriting debut, but it marked a true vocalist debut. previously, niko hadn't sang much in any of the groups previous songs, rapping was always sort of his forte, but when he wrote knock on, he was finally allowed singing parts. of course he didn't sing much, but he absolutely loved it, if you didn't know already, he really likes having singing parts in songs, even if they're minuscule.

regular marked the beginning of niko.. sort of opening up to fans. he never really said any facts about himself in all the other eras, just presented himself as how he always was, but it was really regular era where he actually started sharing facts about himself. a lot of facts about niko weren't even shared on his own accord, the members made him say a bunch of stuff about himself during a live because he spent half of it sat silent in the corner. nikolas would (though begrudgingly) disclose never heard before facts about himself to nctzens, and even some never heard before facts to the members as well, though he doesn't usually enjoy talking about himself, it was pretty fun, he'll admit that.

regular era also marked two other very important things. 1: his official solo fandom name, and 2: smoking rumors. on one of his first solo vlives, niko announced that his solo fandom name was 'junis', a combination of his stage name, juno, and the word 'bliss'. according to the 96 liner himself, he found the word "bliss" to be a very pretty word, and it was a word he enjoyed saying, as he loved dragging the s at the end of the word, with juno meaning "youthful", it basically meant his fandom name was "youthful bliss".

though the fandom name was good news, the smoking rumors were definitely not good news. now, niko is not the first person in nct to be accused of smoking, but he was given a lot of flak for it because he seemed to find it funny, and he remained vague about everything. when asked if he does smoke during another solo vlive, he just snickered and said he'd leave it to others to figure out what was going on with that.

though he received much criticism and faced a hefty amount of backlash for seemingly not caring about smoking, regular was still a good era, a great one he would even say.

(2019) : THE BEGINNING OF THE BAD.. UNFORTUNATELY

once superhuman era rolled around, the then 23 YEAR OLD NIKO was, noticeably, not doing his best. though he was usually noted as one of the quieter member of nct, he seemed to have a shift in personality. he began retreating into himself, got less talkative, was clearly struggling more during promotions, whether physically or mentally, but he didn't say anything about it, he'd notice a camera trailing on him and would immediately put on his best fake smile, one which made it look like everything was okay. he was overly anxious, flinching at even the slightest touches from the members.

though his change in character was noticeable to his members, most of the people who watched nct content didn't really seem to care. as long as niko was smiling every time the camera was on, he cared about what he was going through?

well, korean netizens cared, because they always care.

unfortunately, niko wasn't spared from the countless day to day rumors k-netizens enjoyed spreading. he was accused of having a bad attitude because he told a staff member to stop touching him for no reason. it seemed that the unnamed staff member in the video wasn't actually doing their job, just trying to spur the other into giving them a reaction, which eventually worked because he snapped at the staff member who kept touching his arm, an irritated tone in his voice that most of his fans had never seen before. he never tried to address these rumors, believing he'd do more harm than good if he even tried to talk about it. the rumors were vaguely addressed by mark, who only stated that niko "wasn't doing his best mentally" and he'd been getting worked up by many people in his life for the past few weeks, he didn't comment on what the older was going through mentally, just stated that he was in a "bad state of mind".

rumors still kept coming up though, rumors began spreading that nikolas was some kind of drug addict after a video of him taking pills for unknown reasons. these rumors weren't entertained for long, because no professional idol would be dumb enough to pop pills in public if it wasn't prescribed, but the constant media commentary on him didn't help with his already spurring mental health issues.

superhuman era was really the first example of a bad era for niko, and it's definitely ranked as one of the worst. when be thinks back to the era, he's often surprised that he made it through without having some mental breakdown, but he also feels it would've better if he did, because bottling everything up was making stuff worse for him.

(2020) : A SONGWRITING RETURN & A WELL NEEDED EXPLANATION !

(STILL) 23 YEAR OLD NIKO seemed to be doing just a little better than back in may of 2019 when superhuman promotions began. after two years of radio silence songwriting wise, he made his eventual lyricist return with not one, but TWO songwriting credits on the album. he wrote both "boom" and "make your day" with seo jieum, the two of them spending hours bouncing ideas off each other during the creation of the album. though a return to songwriting was a success, he was still not doing his best, which reflected during the comeback stages.

with the beginning of 2020, and neo zone promotions came more niko solo lives, it was slow at first, as he was afraid most people didn't exactly want to see him, but after the first few lives. these little solo lives became a staple of comfort for junis during 2020. niko would sit and just talk about anything for up to an hour once every week. it was just him and susi alone in his room, talking about whatever he wanted to talk about.

niko would address some of the rumors during superhuman era. he talked about his thoughts, and why he was so antsy the whole time. he avoided looking at the camera as he talked about his depression, how he was in the middle of a fight between his parents, and how, though he was taking medication, all it really did was slow him down, it made him feel much more sluggish than the depression did. he said he felt as if he was "forcing himself to wake up everyday", and he made a formal apology to his fans for, in his words, "giving lackluster performances" during superhuman era. he also lightly alluded to the fact that he was having issues with certain staff at sm and sm in general, referencing a few song drafts that he had unfortunately trashed, but this specific live has since been deleted, an act done by nikolas himself, even with how he doesn't like to talk about it in future times.

midway through kick it promotions, it became clear to his fandom and even his own antis that niko had developed somewhat of a reckless habit of scratching his palms until they burned red, he also seemed to be avoiding talking as much as possible. the solo lives slowed down, he stopped talking much in group content, and really just floated around as a whole. he became much of a sour topic for nctzens to talk about, he was much less of a fan favorite now than all the way back in cherry bomb or regular era, most fans regarded him as a "lost cause", as someone who was dragging 127 down instead of providing anything special to the group.

niko never did anything to address his growing hate train, which sadly carried over to the release of nct 2020 resonance. he didn't seem to be around much, and truly appeared just to appear, he seemed to be more of a figure than an actual person, and though he seemed to be doing great in the beginning of the year, nikolas was in a horrible place by the end of 2020.

but when it didn't seem like it could get any worse, it did, because right as november came to a close, song lyrics allegedly written by niko were leaked by a supposed "insider" online. these lyrics sparked immediate outrage as they were.. and i quote, inappropriate in nature, alluding to things such as sex, partying, and personal family issues. while these lyrics were never commented on, considering the person got torn apart immediately by other nctzens, who scrutinized them for digging into such personal things, he wasn't spared from criticism, and he was being treated as if he committed a crime for writing about things he never even planned to release in the first place.

niko concluded the year with a final solo live, where he sort of just sat around and played with susi as he tried his best to ignore the growing negativity in the comments. he simply stated that he felt "tired", and apologized again for the worry he caused everybody. he said that he'd work towards "being a better idol in the future", clearly holding back tears as he tried his best to laugh about his train wreck of a year.

all in all, neozone and resonance were both downright horrible eras.

(2021) : A SLOW RECOVERING & A NEWLY EMERGING HOBBY !

25 YEAR OLD NIKO made again another great lyricist return with songwriting credits on the 1st and 4th track of sticker, the title track and "focus". in the beginning of promotions, doyoung thought it was important to reiterate to their fandom that niko wasn't going anywhere, and that "he belonged in the group". though he remained silent mostly, he seemed to regain a lot of his usual "niko-ness" during the sticker mv reaction, where he could be seen giggling as he complimented both taeil and jungwoo during all of their parts.

the recovering was slow, niko was very much still struggling with depression and questioning his place in the group, but any thoughts he had about leaving were quickly overshadowed by the support of his members, who stressed it to anyone who would listen that niko was not going to be leaving the group, that he did matter, and that they didn't care about what people were saying online. in the studio choom behind the scenes, niko had been talking the most ever he did since the beginning of superhuman era, going on and on as he exchanged stupid jokes with johnny, it was a nice thing, to see him talk again.

though he still wasn't really regularly seen much, he would occasionally pop into other members lives, just reminding everyone that he was indeed alive. it's not like niko was suddenly being accepted by everyone with open arms, but he was slowly piecing his life back together and his idol life as well.

sticker era was really.. fine, niko performed as he always did and was praised (surprisingly) for the lyrics he'd written for focus. he felt as if he had to prove himself because of how he disappointed nctzens during 2020 with his down attitude. he spent a lot of time just perfecting the choreography, hours and hours in the practice room dedicated to making sure he wouldn't make a single mistake. he never really spent too much time in the practice room because the members always made sure to drag him out in the late hours of the night.

with sticker era came a new emergence for all junis everywhere, guitar covers. niko spent a lot of time at home writing songs, or just listening to music in general, and whenever he could, he'd hop on instagram live to perform a guitar cover of his favorite songs, or he'd perform original songs he wrote. he described these new covers as a "coping mechanism" for him, as it was sort of the only way he felt he could express himself. the guitar cover era was sadly short, but junis are very much waiting for the day they make their return!! #bringbacktheguitar

so sticker era? it was strange, a mix good but still a mix of bad.

when favorite rolled around, niko was seemingly getting back to how he was right before superhuman, though he was still a little silent, he now began cracking his usual jokes and participating in much more group content. favorite era marked the famous doni vlive, where they sat and talked about bullshit for so long. it was so nice seeing him get back to how he was before everything went downhill, and the pair were so cute, it was like nothing bad ever happened.

niko enjoyed poking fun at his members during favorite, especially during the halloween practice, where he made fun of mark for being so into his costume. much to his own dismay, he'd get his karma, because his headband got uncomfortably tangled in his hair, and yuta had to help him get it untangled, so he faced teasings from his members as he pouted the whole entire time.

finally, after what seemed like forever, niko returned to the solo live industry, though he was insanely nervous, he had to have taeil encourage him for like twenty minutes before he pressed that go live button, and even then, he had doyoung join with him like fifteen minutes in because he was feeling anxious, and he hid behind susi like half the time.

favorite era was.. okay, definitely not one of his best eras, but it's considered a good era by junis everywhere.

(2022) : SPEEDING UP & STRAINED MUSCLES !

the now 26 YEAR OLD NIKO seemed to be back to full charge during 2 baddies. he found it fun to insinuate the most when it came to the title track of the album, amping up the sexual innuendos as the members tried their best to stop him from saying something career threatening. sadly, no songwriting credits on the album by our knowledge, lyricist niko would then again disappear for another year, BUT, he did bring back his treasurable humor, even swearing during the recording of 2 baddies, panicking as he asked for the editor to cut it out of the final version of the video (it did not get cut out).

after everything, niko seemed to be back to normal, back to how he usually was, teasing the members over everything and especially making sure to leave all things vague. a highlighting moment of 2 baddies was during idol human theater where he basically became a seat for all the members, eight of them had sat on his lap at least once during the video, and all niko could do was sit back and let them do their thing. some of his most hilarious moments from 2022 are from this idol human theater video, and from certain concert clips.

niko spent at least half the tour running away from the members who were trying to get him to take his shirt off, they would catch him eventually, which led to a very sulky niko backstage as his members practically died at his red faced-ness, and if the members weren't trying to get him shirtless, they were forcing him to give them piggyback rides, or carry them bridal style, or just carry them in general. one of the best things that happened this era was niko getting thrown a poster with his face on it, a poster which the members were all giggling over for the rest of the concert.

though it was all fun, niko sadly couldn't get through this era without injuring himself. right as their asia leg was about to begin, he injured his knee during a performance. there was nothing specific said about his injury or his health, just that he was in the hospital and would be excused from any schedules for an unspecified amount of time. surprisingly, niko became much more active on social media while trapped in the hospital, making stupid jokes about his injury and whining about missing the members on bubble (words that he would never say out loud).

so even though he ended the year with strained muscles, 2 baddies was a good era for niko.

(2023) : A SHORT LIVED BLOND ERA, A JEAN DISCUSSION, & SHOCKING CHRISTMAS GIFTS !

when the still 26 YEAR OLD NIKO returned after months in the hospital, all junis across the world died, because something changed. he dyed his hair, and he dyed it blond. yes, nikolas khornthon himself, known despiser of hair dyeing, dyed his hair. the funniest thing about this was that he didn't inform any of the members that he was dyeing his hair, so they all had their own moments of surprise as well. ay-yo era was just full of one surprise after another for all junis, because they were getting a surge of niko content they had never seen in any other era.

niko was working his ass off in the beginning of 2023, promoting the comeback with 127 whilst also appearing everywhere else. he continuously went back and forth, from country to country, it seemed he was getting on a new plane to go to a new place everyday, but he did all of it flawlessly. it was like every other day niko was in another country doing some other thing, but he seemed to be having fun. it was especially hilarious because fans would just randomly find him on the street when they least expected it, and he would always respond awkwardly, as if shocked that people knew he was.

so ay-yo era? good.

he would make his return to his original nct u lineup in august with baggy jeans, now 27 YEARS OLD and no longer blond. the blond niko era lasted for only a few months, and fans are waiting for the day it makes a return. he found the song to be silly, a song about jeans? he was totally entertained. he couldn't get through a stage without laughing, often having to hide his giggles behind his hand as he mimicked ten's lines.

baggy jeans niko was flawless, ruthless with his insults towards the members and a skinny jeans hater to his core (sorry haechan). a highlight of this era was him getting into a full on argument with jaehyun about which kinds of jeans were better, an argument which was egged on by the rest of the members, who could only watch as the two screamed about blue pants. don't even get me started on the liar game, niko got found out right away, as he's a terrible liar, and the teasing from the members ended up getting so bad that he had to hide behind taeyong for the rest of the game. baggy jeans was a good era, and it was clear that niko was glad to be back with his original lineup of members.

after what seemed like years, niko made a songwriting return on fact check, with lyrical credits on the albums 6th track, "je ne sais quoi". it was during this era that a small discovery was made, niko had revealed that he did write more songs intended to be on fact check, but they didn't make the final cut for the album. he simply stated that he would probably release them someday, just that he didn't know when exactly.

fact check brought a lot of cute niko dance practice clips. he was making doyoung's life a living hell, dancing stupidly around the practice room, praising haechan for doing the bare minimum, terrorizing johnny, and even suggesting things to add to the choreography. he also had a lot more lines in the song, fact check becoming the 127 title track where niko rapped the most, why did it take THIS long for it to happen? we shall never know.

again, this era brought a surge of niko solo lives, lives which would often be interrupted by a certain vocalist of nct dream. these solo lives brought some of niko's most iconic lines ever, such as "jeong jaehyun? i have no idea who that is..", "someone called me a bitch and i slapped them in the face", and, the most iconic of all; "i'm gonna get thrown out like all of those song drafts", which stapled fact check era as a good era.

as christmas approached, the still 27 YEAR OLD dancer was definitely very festive. he took the act of gift giving very seriously, making sure to get gifts perfect for each of the members as "be there for me" promotions began. when the day for christmas came, niko didn't just get gifts for everyone 127 member, he got gifts for every nct member. he had clearly put much effort into every gift, some of them even made by his own hands. he couldn't stop smiling as he watched each of the members open their gifts, even bringing out some tears from a certain few.

so while short, be there for me era was a good one.

(FINAL THOUGHTS) : 💭

in total, niko has had 12 good eras (7th sense, fire truck, limitless, cherry bomb, regular, sticker sort of, favorite, 2 baddies, ay-yo, baggy jeans, fact check, be there for me), 3 bad eras (superhuman, beginning of neozone, again sticker sort of), and 2 downright horrible eras (end of neozone, and resonance). it seems that, even with all he's been through, niko has always been grateful for the opportunities he's had as an artist, he's always been happy for his place in the group, and though he's had bad times, he never allowed for it to affect his performances.

throughout his seven years as an nct member, niko learned many things. he grew into someone much more comfortable in his own skin, compared to when he debuted, he is now much more talkative (even as an introvert), much more confident, and much more intelligent as an artist.

though he definitely still has a while to go before all of his issues are resolved, he's come a long way, and he's proud of himself for getting through everything he did.

#. ✦ ERAS !#nct addition #fake kpop idol #fictional idol oc #fictional kpop oc #kpop addition #kpop oc #nct added member #nct 127 10th member #kpop male idol #kpop male oc

15 notes · View notes

kei-luv · 1 year

Note

Oh! I’m so glad I wasn’t bothering you and I wanted to leave a request if you don’t mind too much :)

Vance x male reader where Vance first interaction is when reader left a single blue bell flower when he had an argument with his parents and then it became a daily routine where a flower would be on his windowsill until he caught reader in the act which just was a thank you from Vance and then they became close. Reader takes care of a flower garden and invites Vance to hang out with him where they talk and Vance helps out watering and planting saplings, and when some boys tried to make a mess of the garden Vance immediately started to fight them as reader was trying to pry him off of them. I imagine them having green tea on a cold winter day while walking down the street in fluffy jackets

Thank you for doing my request and I hope you have a good day :)

.⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆. 𝗠𝘆 𝗳𝗹𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿

Note: And thank you so much for requesting! I'm really liking tbp requests, and I've just been waiting for someone to ask me to write smth abt it. I also really like the ideas you give me, so it's a lot easier for me to write about Vance.

───

tw: Vance Hopper in general, family argument, cussing, Reader is very sweet to Vance, Vance beating the hell out of someone, and mentions of blood. genre: angst?/fluff reader: male characters: vance hopper

Word Count: 1,541 Masterlist

Everyone was aware of the notorious 'Pinball' Vance Hopper, who made his name by brutally beating a number of people just for being close to his pinball machine at the Grab N' Go, where he spent the majority of his time.

But nobody was aware of his family's circumstances, his relationship with his parents, or the extraordinary number of fights they had. Furthermore, Vance's parents got upset upon finding out their son had beaten up yet another person.

The constant arguments between him and his parents, which occurred almost every day, were just too much for the blonde. The teenage boy was thus startled when he entered his room one day to find a bouquet of bluebells and a note neatly arranged on top of his bed, with his windowsill wide open.

The boy slowly made his way to his bed and picked up the note, which read, "Something to make you feel a little bit better today :)" Uncertain of how he should feel, Vance reluctantly picked up the bouquet, sat down on his bed, and silently regarded the flowers.

The following few weeks continued in this pattern, with Vance arriving home later than usual, fighting with his parents once more, and then entering his room to find a fresh bouquet of bluebells and a note on his bed.

Vance soon developed a keen interest in the person who kept giving him bouquets of flowers, because whoever it was must’ve known about his reputation and the name he had given himself, and he had several questions about why they would do so.

How they even managed to open his window after he locked it, why they left a bouquet of bluebells on his bed, and why they wrote such kind notes to him.

Vance was looking for clarification, and he's going to make sure he gets them.

---

The following morning, Vance made the decision to stay in, leaving his house to fool his parents into thinking he was going to school, only to return once he realized they had left.

In an effort to catch the person who had left him the flowers in the act, he made the decision to wait outside the door to his bedroom while listening for any noise that would indicate someone opening his window.

With no sign of anyone entering, the minutes quickly turned into hours. Standing from the floor and heading to the kitchen to get a glass of water, Vance heaved a long sigh.

Vance was about to start drinking when he heard a loud thud coming from his room. Out of instinct, he dropped the glass on the kitchen island and ran to his room, where he opened the door to find someone he never would have suspected of being the flower culprit.

"[LastName]? So you were the one who kept leaving those damn flowers these past few weeks?"

Before clearing his throat, [Name] remained silent and appeared to still be in shock from being caught. He glanced away from the blonde in embarrassment.

"Uhm..I noticed you looked a lot more..grumpier than usual. So I just thought, well, y'know..I thought maybe if I left you these flowers, you'd feel a bit better.."

[Name] muttered softly under his breath, but Vance undoubtedly caught what he said, and he couldn't help but feel his heart flutter as it always did when he was near the [h/c].

[Name] [LastName], the only person who has ever approached him normally, the only person who never appeared to be scared of him, and the only person that 'Pinball' Vance Hopper wanted to spend his time with.

So the realization that [Name] was the person who left those flowers on Vance's bed almost every day caused his heart to race, and for once, Vance found the sensation to be quite pleasant.

"Oh..well, you could’ve just given them to me in person, you didn't have to act so fucking anonymous. If it were someone else, I would’ve beaten the shit out of them y'know."

Vance spoke while rubbing his nape in an attempt to conceal his flushed face from [Name], who could only stifle a laugh.

"Well, I'm glad you wouldn’t actually beat me up. But uh..did they make you feel a little better..?"

[Name] inquired, hoping that perhaps a small part of Vance was pleased to have received the bluebell bouquet. Vance let out a soft whisper, and [Name] couldn't help but wonder what the blonde had said.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" [Name] asked, hoping that the blonde wouldn't just give him a grunt as always, but would actually repeat his response to him.

"Tch, I said fucking yeah..dumbass." Vance muttered in a stern tone while glaring at the [h/c], but [Name] was aware that it wasn't a bad thing. The [h/c] was delighted to learn that Vance had liked the flowers he had given him over the previous few weeks.

"Well..I'll see you around then? I've already finished what I needed to do, so I'll get going now."

[Name] said, approaching the window as he started to climb outside, waving goodbye to the blonde who was only observing as the boy left, heaving a deep sigh to quiet his racing heart, and then shutting his window.

"Fucking dumbass.." Vance muttered under his breath as he sat on his bed and looked down at the bouquet of bluebells next to him, wearing a small smile on his face.

---

The two started to hang out more frequently after that, and [Name] eventually invited Vance over to help him with the backyard garden.

[Name] spent time teaching Vance about various flower meanings, and Vance assisted in planting and caring for the flowers. The two enjoyed their time together very much.

Vance was on his way to [Name]'s house when he heard a loud cry and some boys laughing in the [LastName] family's backyard. He immediately ran to the source of the sound.

"Stop that! Get the hell off me!" The voice of [Name] screamed out as he struggled to free himself from one of the boys' grip on him and prevent the other two from destroying the garden.

The boy who was holding onto [Name] was quickly approached by Vance, who then punched him in the face while the other two boys were caught off guard and abruptly stopped what they were doing.

"Shit! It's Vance Hopper!" One of the two boys muttered as they witnessed Vance punch the boy repeatedly and without mercy even as blood spurted from his nose.

"Vance, stop! You'll get yourself into more trouble if you keep hurting him!"

[Name] shouted, attempting to free Vance from the boy he had just assaulted. With a scoff, Vance stopped and let the [h/c] pull him away from the now-unconscious teen, staring down at the two other boys who tensed at the harsh glare.

"If you even think of coming back here again, I'll beat your ass way fucking worse than what he got."

Both boys quickly nodded in response to Vance's warning, grabbed their friend, and ran out of the backyard. Vance and [Name] were left alone in the now-messy garden.

With a heavy sigh, [Name] grabbed Vance's wrist and dragged him inside his house so he could treat his bloody and bruised knuckles. "You go ahead and take a seat, I'll just go and get the aid kit."

Vance settled down on the couch without any complaints and patiently awaited [Name]'s return with the first aid kit.

"Hands out," Back in the living room, [Name] gave the command as he took a seat next to Vance, who immediately complied. [Name] had a wet cloth in his hand, and started wiping the blood off the blonde's knuckles. Vance hissed from the stinging sensation.

"You know you didn't have to do that, right?"

[Name] spoke, his eyes fixed on Vance's bloody knuckles as he took an antibiotic cream out of the first aid kit and started to apply it to the wound, Vance only stared at [Name].

"Did you really expect me to just stand there and watch as those fuckers ruin all of your hard work? Yeah, I don't fucking think so."

Vance responded, his eyes slowly lowering to [Name]'s hands as they started to delicately bandage his knuckles. [Name]'s lips started to flutter into a gentle smile.

"Well, that should do it." [Name] finished bandaging the wound, beaming up at his accomplishment as Vance smirked.

"Yeah, thanks." Vance murmured, lying back on the couch as he closed his eyes. He had not noticed [Name]'s longing gaze on him who decided to lay back next to him as well.

The two were practically glued to each other on the couch as [Name] linked his arm with Vance's, his hand holding his, and his head lying on Vance's shoulder.

Usually, after finishing the garden or after Vance had beaten someone and [Name] had to tend to his wounds, the two would perform these kinds of acts together.

The simple act of holding each other or even just being close to each other has always made them feel calm, at peace, and loved. They have always enjoyed these kinds of moments together as friends.

But who knows—possibly they'd become more than just friends in the future.

AN: I had no idea how to end this, a part of me was thinking of just making them confess to each other, but another part of me just felt like leaving that up to your imagination, or something like that. Also, send more tbp requests, I need them.

©KEI-LUV. please do not translate or repost any of my work on any other platform, or claim any of it as your own. 2023

#vance hopper x male reader #the black phone x male reader #vance hopper #xreader #the black phone #tbp #x male reader #fluffy shit #male reader #tbp x male reader

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oshiawaseni · 1 year

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I recently am now looking through the mha fandom for the first time and discovered your blog. Looking through your posts and analysis you seem like you’re quite knowledgeable about Horikoshi’s writing or him in general and are confident about the potential of bkdk being canon. In fact, quickly looking through the bkdk tags, a lot people on here are quite confident about the relationship, whether viewing it platonic or romantic. Now I kinda expected that, as a bkdk shipper as well, but I became confused when I found alot of people implying that Horikoshi “ships” bkdk or encourages it. For the longest time I’ve only ever consumed the anime and never really knew what’s been going on in the fandom. So I don’t know much about Horikoshi, but I swear I heard way back about him not liking the ship bkdk and deliberately implying the relationship between Izuku and Uruaka. The questions I’m getting at here is, what makes you think that Horikoshi wants bkdk to be canon and is there any hints about it outside of the main anime/manga that supports that? I acknowledge how it’s hinted at that bkdk heavily “need each other” or something like that in the anime/manga, I just always thought it was always going to be platonic and that Izuku and Uruaka will be end game. Maybe it is that and everyone is just joking about Horikoshi, idk I’m confused and lost lol.

Okay what you're asking for is a little strange, because Hori's storytelling really does speak for itself, his heart shows up the most in his writing of bkdk, but here goes…!

In regards to Hori’s feelings about them, hmm I’m going to get there one day soon(tm), but I’ll give you two examples outside the manga that show bkdk are important to him and why Hori is a bkdk like us.

First is when an interviewer was asking about Kirishima saving Katsuki and Hori responded to him with a sentiment that sounded a lot like “actually the takeaway from this scene was bkdk. that it was a bittersweet moment because Izuku couldn’t be the one to take his hand… but the decision was made." He really deflected the topic away from Kirishima and pointed at bkdk "Look at them instead".

Showing importance of that decision to bkdk’s development because THEY are what’s most important to the series, not any of their relationships with the main side characters. (And then we got the parallel to this where Katsuki feels he didn’t have what it took to take Izuku’s hand during the Deku retrieval arc. Regrets, regrets, regrets... everywhere. Now Katsuki is dead and Izuku "still hasn't told him ____")

My second example is something I bring up on twitter a bit, but that's only because it's so validating.

So you know when Katsuki died, every bkdk was crying and/or freaking out, right? Back then the mood was… “How is Izuku going to react to this?” And in a lot of bkdk’s hearts, we imagined Izuku kneeling at Katsuki’s side, embracing him, possibly acting very protectively over his body. People drew fanart of this.

I also had this kind of vision of him... but back then, MANY of us did.

But for the most part, we knew it wouldn’t be practical in the middle of a fight setting and then come January, Horikoshi showed us he felt the exact same way as us about them with his Volume 37 cover “illustration.” It was like a brainworm image of Izuku and Katsuki he couldn't get out of his head unless he drew it for the cover, something he felt bkdk deserved, but he couldn't give it to them in the manga because of the unrealism and impracticality of it happening mid-fight.

What I’m saying is: when Katsuki died, all bkdks dreamed of Izuku holding him close and/or protecting him and Horikoshi turned that collective vision, that many of us felt in our hearts, into a freaking volume cover.

As bkdks, we have this idea in our heads of these characters; what motivates them, what or who are important to them, because this far along the story, these characters are basically writing themselves. And by him and us connecting on this feeling Izuku has with Katsuki, Hori is confirming the way we see Izuku and the importance of his intense love for Katsuki as "the correct version" of Izuku that also exists in HIS mind, and he showed his hand to us of him being the biggest bkdk out of all of us. He quite literally is our King of BkDk.

The reveal of this cover is the moment I knew, without a doubt, that Hori was one of us. And that's not even factoring in that Edgeshot quote. Even that is a whole thing in itself to unpack, which I've done multiple times already.

If Hori's chosen composition and overall mood for this cover weren't already damning enough evidence for his love of bkdk and intent on making them canon, the other thing of note is that the red fingers in their background are HEAVILY inspired by Berserk.

When I saw it, I got flashbacks of the eclipse, and the hand that lifted Griffith out of Guts' reach. It also turns out there was a very similar "lovers" pose between Guts and Casca for that eclipse content. And then there are all of those Spider-Man death embraces with Gwen Stacy.

The inspirations for this volume 37 for the hero comic-loving Horikoshi are quite clear: Izuku is embracing his future lover.

#bkdk #bkdk canon #bakudeku #dkbk #kana writes #asks #btw anon hori hasn't said anything about izuocha being romantic himself - izuochas like to make up a lot of unsubstantiated claims #it's probably something like that

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dedalvs · 1 year

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Hi!

Just came to ask on an issue I've ran into regarding neography.

People in my circle of conlangers/worldbuilders/neographists say that what I do isn't right and is not to be considered neography - here's what I did:

I made over 500 neographies made since the creation of my Reddit account last year, all documented on @thecrazyneographist

And while some of them are seen as cool and all, most are trash bullshit I throw at the wall waiting for something to stick. I literally have diamonds laying under heaps of crap.

I love neographying, this is out of question. But I, despite making a couple WIPs, cannot make a conlang for every script aesthetic I come up with, thus, 90% of my works are just English ciphers (and a devastating part of them are alphabets).

Question:

Am I a valid neographist if most of my creations are nothing more than "children-level ciphers" for English, or not? No matter the answer I will continue making them because that's what I like to do.

Thanks in advance.

Hey, sorry I didn't respond to this sooner, but there are a lot of issues in here, and I wanted to tease them apart, so I can be quite clear on each one.

First, "I am a valid x", where x refers to some sort of artist, is always kind of a sad question to me, because those who ask it are undoubtedly asking it as a result of one kind of gatekeeping or another. For example, fanfic authors who ask "Am I real writer?" are undoubtedly asking it because someone (or several someones) have told them that they're not because all they write is fanfic. There are often a set of assumptions that come with the definition of a given art, such that the belief is if you haven't fulfilled certain criteria, you can't claim to be an artist in that field. For me, I think the definition is rather simpler.

In any artistic field, you qualify as that type of artist if you attempt that type of art. Notice I didn't say finish. This is especially clear for conlangs, as no conlang is finished. If the criteria for being a conlanger is having one finished conlang then there are no conlangers, and there never have been. There's no such thing as a finished conlang. There is such a thing as a finished painting, though, but I don't think you have to have finished a painting to be a painter. You need to be working at, but you don't need to have finished anything.

This doesn't mean that anyone is an anything. For example, to be a novelist, you have to be in the process of writing at least one novel. If all you've ever written is short stories, you're not a novelist. You are a writer, though.

For a neographer (or orthographer or conscriptor or whatever term is in vogue), all you have to do is attempt to create one conscript. That is the only criterion that needs to be satisfied. You've done that in spades, so you are a valid neographer.

Now, when it comes to an invented script, there are a number of elements involved—or that may be involved. They are as follows:

A unique set of glyphs (i.e. letterforms that are crucially different from any other glyphs in any other script—at least partially).

A unique flow (i.e how the glyphs look when lined up to make wordforms).

A specific instantiation or presentation (e.g. the Roman script has a unique set of glyphs and a unique flow, but in presenting a script, Copperlate looks different from Arial, Times, Palatino, Verdana, etc. Each one is a specific presentation or font face or style).

A unique assignment to a set of sounds and/or words/concepts.

Each of these involve artistic decisions, and they all can be assigned different levels of importance/interest. The fourth bullet above seems to be where unhelpful people in your circle are complaining. That is, one thing to do with a script is assign it to, say, the English version of the Roman alphabet. This is a cipher. Here's an example that's used on the Indiana Jones ride at Disneyland:

Let's evaluate this based on the criteria above:

There are a unique set of glyphs—kind of. However, if you kind of stand back and evaluate, you'll see that in fact, every letter is a stylized variant of a letter in the Roman alphabet—with, perhaps, the slight exception of I, which looks like a stylized eye (because this is for Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Forbidden Eye. It's a theme). So, actually, it's not super unique. Additionally, making each vowel glyph red is rather silly.

When written together, the script has a unique flow, but that flow is actually pretty poor. It's a bit like writing in all caps in English, but even all caps Roman has a better balance than this script. It's honestly kind of tiresome looking at this script on the wall. For an alphabet, the characters aren't distinct enough, so it gets poor marks there.

The style of the swooshes/wedges/talons is nice, for the most part (I and U cause me to raise an eyebrow—O, too). The distinction between the very short wedges (as in A, B, and N) and the dots (as in J, L, and M), and the few characters with an even smaller dot (E, X, S, and Y) is, frankly, baffling. Additionally, sometimes the wedges are balanced nicely (A and N are great examples), and sometimes they're way too close (cf. B and Z). While the line work is clean, this honestly even the best version of this style of this script, which is unfortunate, to say the least.

This is a straight-up English cipher. That can only be evaluated based on the goals of the script designer. If the script creator is doing it for fun, then there's nothing to say. That's their choice. If this were done for an Indiana Jones movie or television show, I'd cry foul (cf. Star Wars and their incredibly lazy work). However, this is for a ride. The intended level of interaction for this script is for fans who are standing in line anywhere from 15 minutes to two hours, depending on the time of year and time of day. There are actual messages written in this writing system that fans are supposed to decode. Given the time allotted, I think a cipher—and, in fact, a cipher that can be somewhat easily deciphered—was the right way to go. It's either do a cipher so park goers can actually read the messages without working at it beforehand and have some fun as they're waiting in line, or go all-out stylewise with the expectation that NO rider will ever figure out what's been written.

That's how a script needs to be evaluated. Sometimes purpose overrides style; sometimes not. It totally depends.

It SHOULD go without saying that if you're doing this for your own purposes, then no one can say shit about its intended purpose, or lack thereof. I always thought that in fora like r/neography posters share their script for the look of it, unless they say otherwise. There's both positives and negatives to that. Sometimes the way a script is used makes it cool, so presented without that background renders the script a bit less interesting, but other times, as with your scripts, it should be rather freeing. That is, it doesn't matter if the script is a cipher, is for a conlang, or is asemic: The question is, does it look good? If it does, it shouldn't matter what the hell it's for.

I've looked at your scriptwork here, and I've also seen it on r/neography before. Yes, some of it's a little sloppy, some of it's a little basic (i.e. variation on a theme without thought to how the system as a whole hangs together), and the presentation of some of it could use polishing, but a lot of it is quite interesting, quite striking, and presented quite well. Given the volume of work you've done, it's not surprising that some of it isn't as interesting, but by percentage, your work, on the whole, is outstanding. I honestly never noticed they were ciphers because it's, frankly, totally irrelevant. It'd be like going to an art exhibition and complaining that the titles of all the paintings start with the letter s. lol Like who gives af. That level of criticism is uncalled for and plain silly. Unless someone posts and says, "What do you think about this writing system that I created for a conlang?", I don't see the relevance of commenting on how the script ties to a phonology.

I would also like to take a moment to comment specifically on r/neography. I've frequented there for some time now, and I've seen a lot of good work, but the percentage of good work to bad work (or even relevant work) is extremely low. This is why I say so:

My biggest complaint is there are a metric ton of posts that are Romanization systems or Cyrillicization systems or the like. There is absolutely nothing ne about that ography. I joined that subreddit to see some NEW scripts, not already existing ones assigned to some phonology. There can be interesting discussions about that, sure, and I'm happy to see those types of discussions if I go to a forum specifically for those discussions. A place that purports to be about creating new scripts is not that place—period. If I were a mod, I would ban all of those posts as wholly irrelevant—and yet it is the majority of posts there on any given day.

The presentation of scripts is often abysmal. I mean ABYSMAL. For example, take an English-speaking preschooler writing their name. That's an example of the Roman script. Now imagine presenting that—and only that—as an example of the Roman script, which the viewer has never seen before. What would you say about that? I mean, it looks like garbage. You can't evaluate a writing system if it looks like it's written with one's offhand on a crowded train. And yet that is precisely the type of work that is OFTEN presented there. How can anyone expect to have their script evaluated if the way they present it makes it look like someone tried to handwrite "happy birthday" on a card but started too close to the edge? It's embarrassing—or should be, anyway. I couldn't imagine presenting my own work like that to anyone for critique or showcasing.

The scriptwork itself is often poor. Honestly, there's nothing much to say about this. I rarely comment there, because sometimes the most helpful comment I can think of is, "Maybe creating conscripts isn't for you", which is not a comment worth sharing. Part of it is talent, but part of it is patience and knowing (a) what makes a good glyph, and (b) what makes a good flow for your glyphs. A lot of it is subjective, but "subjective" means that there will be some scripts that 90% of viewers will think is subjectively good; some that 60% will think is "good"; some 20%... So even though it's subjective, it doesn't mean that every single script is equal. There's a lot of room for improvement.

Because of the above, the kind of feedback you get at a place like r/neography is, frankly, suspect, and often not worth the effort it took to type. For my own stuff, I respect the opinions of people whose work I respect. If I don't respect someone's script work, their criticism is worthless. For your own work, I'd recommend you adopt a similar approach.

Finally, I'd like to applaud you for the very last thing you wrote—that you were set to continue whatever I wrote. Because if you enjoy it, you should keep at it. There's no other reason to do it.

Thanks for the ask, and keep it up!

#ageblue #conlang #language #neography #orthography #conscript #thecrazyneographist

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davidpincher · 11 months

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i posted last week about how i went to watch oppenheimer as part of barbenheimer & then ended up writing a 900 word essay about it. three people asked to see the essay so here it is:

a three hour anxiety attack

i watched oppenheimer; had dinner, watched barbie and then showered. i cant stop thinking about this movie. the thing about christopher nolan movies is that there’s always a part of them that makes me remember why i love movies, a part of me that is reminded of their power in the way that they make me feel things. most succinctly, yes, this movie is a three hour anxiety attack because i spent the entirety of the movie anxious, knowing little about this film other than that an atomic bomb is going to be made and dropped on hiroshima and nagasaki.

while i was much too dumb to understand the timeline of events, christopher nolan still makes such a foreign experience feel personal and familiar. relatable even, even though the times have changed. people have always been people, flawed and trusting and selfish. there’s the case of the spy, a jewish man, much like oppenheimer, that oppenheimer initially trusts out of community in hard times. you can understand oppenheimer’s devotion to the war, as someone so personally affected by it. there’s something personal, in the orchestration of the betrayal by robert downey jr (i cannot remember his characters name, truly, he was not that memorable), and how oppenheimer goes from respected to blacklisted. people are petty and cruel. i don’t think i’ve ever seen a movie with a sex scene that i found added to the plot of characters, but there is something so powerful in jean’s death being the only one explicitly shown on screen: humans are selfish and will be our own demise because we, more often than not, cannot find the empathy to care for people who we don’t know. it’s the trolley problem - the death of a lover or the death of hundreds of thousands, or even, the very end of the world.

there’s one line of dialogue that hasn’t left my mind since i finished watching this movie, almost ten hours ago now. it’s the moment in which they’re discussing what cities to bomb, and one character goes ‘not kyoto. there’s too much culture. plus my wife and i honeymooned there’ or something of the sort. it’s the kind of moment that shocked me, how the lives of hundreds of thousands of civilians were held in the hands of a guy making decisions based on his honeymoon. it’s the most memorable example of the question ‘who had the right to power’, regarding people’s lives, that consumes this movie. who has the right to create and use a weapon of mass destruction? another that i think of, is the scene with truman. i think that christopher nolan has portrayed a president more accurately than any other piece of media in the past: the president is not just some boss man, he is a guy appointed to look over entire fields he could not possibly understand the weight of, not even if he tried. truman’s depiction in this movie - as does everyone’s, honestly - feels so real because every single person has flaws. everyone here is so deeply flawed and insufferable, even oppenheimer, who likely is only slightly better because he’s aware of it all.

in high school, i was forced to spend two entire years studying world war two and the cold war from every perspective - japan, germany, italy, the united states, the soviet union, china, france and england. so of course, the questions of the ethics and necessity of the dropping of the atomic bomb came up, and there are so many discussions to be had within that. and yet, there wasn’t enough in this film. maybe this is a good thing, given that would require the opinions and analysis of the work of many historians that would likely derail the vision of nolan’s film, it would’ve meant a lot to the little nerd in me specifically.

oppenheimer opposes the hydrogen bomb because if the united states has one; the soviet union, their enemies at the time, would be forced to make one too. on a side note, another moment in this film that made my gut wrench was when this claim is denied on the belief that russia does not have the resources, or knowledge to compete with the united states. and god what a fucking blessing and curse is hindsight, as underestimating russia and the soviet union during a war is just as relevant today. this makes an interesting biopic to me because everyone knows about the atomic bomb. everyone knows about chernobyl and nuclear power. in fact, in the very basic level science classes i took, the world nuclear power became synonymous with chernobyl. bad things happen, and we know it, and this movie helps to warn us a bit about it.

enough on the history nerd stuff i truly did forget how much of my life i spent studying history, even if i only stopped just over a year ago. the sound design of this movie was fucking insane. every piece of audio, the line delivery, everything, made me feel so much (besides rdj - i get what people say about people having faces that know what iphones are) the shots were fucking masterful and despite being a three hour film, there was not a single moment (beyond the sex scenes mayhaps) that i felt dragged on for longer than they needed to. once again, just to end this off, god i fucking loved the sound of this movie, the build up, the anxiety, everything. while i most certainly have not seen enough christopher nolan to say definitively that this is his best work, i can most certainly see why people would say it is so.

#barbie #barbenheimer #oppenheimer #christopher nolan #film #oppenheimer essay

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sapphire-heart-tippy · 8 months

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Hey, everyone. Asks are being turned off as of right now because I am overwhelmed. I also want to talk about something regarding that. I'm not angry, I have no hard feelings towards anyone, and this needs to be addressed:

"Too long, didn't read" at the bottom:

I have 433 asks in my inbox. It is very difficult for me to get the energy to answer every single one of them. I am going to delete them all (unless I find something I really do not want to delete) and clean my inbox out. Don't get me wrong, I do have fun with these a lot. That being said, being spammed with questions, especially the same ones I have answered multiple times, is not fun for me.

The Jonny Headverse stuff is fun, and I can have negative feelings about it. I have been thinking about this for a while now, but I never wanted to ruin anyone else's fun. I feel it is time to speak up about it anyway.

Please give me a little space. I do not dislike you, I am not angry, I am overwhelmed and a bit disheartened. I very much appreciate the fan art, the writings, the jokes, and everything in between. However, every time I do an event that is only supposed to be for Vanilla, TipVans, Bel, or an f/o takeover of some sort, it is always somehow about Jonathan and the other heads.

It, admittedly, hurt my feelings when it was mine and Vanilla's anniversary and I got asks that were mostly about the heads. I even had a few that were, "Okay but what about Jonathan and Erina's anniversary?" (which we actually did earlier in the year)

It all started with a visual gag I made in a mini comic about my s/i raiding the fridge. I got the idea from Futurama yes, but mostly this one DIY Halloween decoration where you print out a picture of a face, put it in a pickle jar filled with oil and put it in the fridge. Which is why he was next to the pickles in that drawing. I have no qualms about other artists and writers doing the Jonathan head thing. If somebody decides to make that their shtick, then that is wonderful. Yes, Jonathan's Head is an important character in my fanfic, but he is not the focal point.

My fanfic is all supposed to be from the viewpoint of Vanilla. My own s/i isn't even the main character, he is. It's not only about the romance between Vanilla and Tippy, but it tells a story about what would happen if two complete opposites of people (Vanilla and Polnareff) got a second chance. Polnareff remembers everything, but Vanilla remembers nothing. The tension, difficult decisions, the "what would you do in this situation?" feelings, and giving a backstory to a throwaway mini boss type villain.

I digress. To add on to what I said previously, it is discouraging to draw and write my heart out about something only to have it derailed by another subject. I have tried to take it all in stride, but my feelings are hurt. I would talk about Vanilla doing something, it gets derailed to Jonathan even when he wasn't even relevant to the conversation. I would say something about TipVans or Bel or Ramon or Emmanuel, it would get derailed so fast and I would get 20 asks about the heads doing the same thing my f/o or other characters are doing.

When I would do the f/o takeovers, not a single question I would receive was about the relationship Vanilla has with Tippy (although I could be wrong and don't remember. I only remember getting asks about taking care of the disembodied heads).

I don't want any of you to feel bad or think that I am mad at you. I am very overwhelmed and disheartened. I put a lot of passion into my art work and writing. I am very grateful for all of the kind words I receive and all of the wonderful encouragement I get on tags when my art gets reblogged every now and then.

There's this one drawing I have worked my best on and put my all into, which is a semi realism digital painting, I am very proud of (here). When I first uploaded it, I had somebody go, "Okay, now do semi realistic Jonathan's head." I can't just do a semi realism painting. It takes a lot of patience and energy.

I'm asking for a little bit of space, and a little bit of grace.

Like I have said before, I am in no way, shape, or form angry with anyone. Please, by all means, continue drawing, writing, animating, and talking about the Jonathan Head universe. I want you all to have fun and continue having fun. Do what makes you happy, create to your heart's content, please

I only ask 2 things: please, do not derail my other art works or writings anymore with Jonathan's Head stuff unless he is in them. And please do not bombard other artists/writers with asks, especially if they are uncomfortable and expressing their discomfort.

For now, asks are closed because I am overwhelmed with things and this (unfortunately) was the final straw.

Please don't think I will be angry with you if you decide to tag me in something Jonathan's Head related. I will still like it and share it and be happy for you and/or the person who created the work.

Once again, I am very grateful and thankful for all of the kind words and feedback I have gotten on my fanfic and drawings. I will let you all know when asks are turned back on as well. Then one day we can roleplay and stuff again💙

TL;DR: Overwhelmed with asks. Asks are turned off. Disheartened by my art and writing being derailed by Jonathan and the rest of the heads. Not mad, very supportive of your creativity. Wish you all the best 💙

#tippy rambles #something i needed to say #overwhelmed and needed to get this off my chest

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androids-insides · 3 months

Text

Woah. Forgot I had this.

It’s a while dated, namely because I wrote this after I watched Series 2 and the whole Coffee Theory was going around and I wanted comfort with the ending, etc.

Just getting it out of my drafts, I guess. (Since I’m busy doing stuff)

Good Omens, Final Fifteen and Series 3 Theory

Spoilers, if that’s still relevant??

One of the two questions I always ask people when I want to talk about the show is:

“What of Aziraphale at the end of Season 2,”

and

“Where do you think the story will go in Season 3?”

Im gonna write about the first one 🙃

“What the f&@$, Aziraphale??” Is what I said, verbally, after I watched the finale of Season 2: all of this building on both sides, all of this work and very obvious something between the two, and you up and leave?? “That’s out of pocket, even for you!!” After a lot of valid points from other people, and some looking of my own, I have found a concrete answer on what I think to have happened. (This is all personal theory and not, in any means, factual)

First of, I’d like to say that I don’t entirely agree with The Coffee Theory (the impression that the Metatron spiked the coffee he gave Aziraphale, with something that is controlling his mind, to my understanding) While, if it were the case, I wouldn’t hate it, I just think there’s too many variables that make it seem kind of outlandish. If the Metatron wanted him to be “under control,” I think he would just miracle it. I’m not entirely sure if there’s some rule that angels can’t miracle angles, and vice versa with demons, but Aziraphale and Crowley did miracle “Jim,” which did affect every other angel and demon, so I don’t think it’s impossible. Not to mention that the Metatron is the closest angel to God herself, so he could rightfully do whatever he wants and get away with it. So, why go through the extra steps of putting it in a coffee? It seems tedious, and sort of strange that he’s forcing Aziraphale to make the decision. Like most of heaven, I think his goal is to manipulate, rather than to physically control.

I see the coffee as a sort of bribing point. With my extensive “research,” we’ll call it, in manipulation, I see this as an act to take his guard down and a way to earn trust: Trojan horse your way in. “No one who is evil would offer gifts!” From there, you just offer him what he wants. “He stopped the end of the world last time? Give him a spot in head office. Let him think he’s in charge and can make a change. In fact, let’s throw in some torture, and ironically have him help plot The Second Coming, unable to stop what he has done after he realises that he can’t.” Yaknow, because he’s not tortured enough, or something.

In regards to it being his decision, rather than force, it’s not only a huge notion, but obviously a tragic one, which I think fits better for the narrative of the story. Aziraphale is likely thinking “I have an opportunity to fix the broken. The Second Coming is on its way no matter what, but if I were up there, maybe I could sabotage it? Help them see that this is morally wrong, wether God’s word or not - and I can have Crowley by my side through it all? That’s quite a perk! We always work so well together…” yada yada yada, he trails off on how in love he is. It’s not entirely that he chose Heaven over Crowley, I think, but more so he has chosen to fix the world to a point that staying with him is not a bad thing, as is his nature. He’s looking out for the future. Meanwhile, Crowley is thinking, “This world is ruined. There is nothing we can do to fix it, this opportunity is a trap. Our best bet is to run away - make our own world, where being together isn’t a crime. This is a lost cause, and as much as you want to, the truth is that you can’t fix it.” Yada yada yada, he goes off on how Aziraphale’s quirks and such are kind of annoying, but saying it in a fashion that’s a lot more along the lines of “but it’s so cute,” etc. If only they could communicate, but then there would be no story 🙃

The fact that it is his decision makes it a kajillion times worse, which I believe to be the Metatron’s plan in order to separate them, out of fear of what they can do together, ie. The Jim miracle. With that rocky of a send off, it will likely take a very long time for them to forgive one another, (Crowley to forgive Aziraphale) assuming that they even see each other again.

I’m not sure if I’m being apologetic to either character, or if I’m just making something up to feel better, but I really do think that this is what either of them were trying to get across with saying things like “You can’t leave this bookshop,” “Oh Crowley, nothing lasts forever,” “no, suppose does…” I’m sure we’ve seen enough of what that exchange means to each other from either point of view.

Better yet, I am hopeful that Aziraphale has a plan: I have almost no evidence for this, other than hope and the end credits scene. I really didn’t want to believe Aziraphale to be the sort of being to be more willing to leave Crowley than to leave Heaven, but I did get myself thinking, as I do, and once I got to the credits, I knew that Aziraphale must have a plan of some kind, denial or not. I know for a fact that we can see every thought that goes through his head. He is very facially expressive. In the end credits, when he’s in the elevator to heaven, he switches very frequently between a depressed resting face, to a genuine smile, all lost in thought. He may be excited to have an opportunity to change things, and lead the people that used to put him down, yet depressed that he had to leave his beloved behind to do so. He may be overwhelmed with sadness, but is trying to keep a happy facade because the Metatron is right in front of him, but something really screams “plotting” to me. I hope he’s counting all the ways to burn Heaven into hell and back again. Scheming ways to turn Heaven on itself and to destroy it from the inside out. To return to Crowley, heavy with exhaust and mutter into his arms “God is dead.” Disclaimer, most of that is an over exaggeration. I don’t think Aziraphale would kill anyone unless he entirely needed to. Not to mention that I find the story reminding us that Aziraphale isn’t stupid, and actually makes plans on his own, being placed an episode before the last one to be a bit suspect, but I could just be looking into it too much 🤷‍♂️

When I watched the ending for the first time, I had assumed, purely by intuition, that Aziraphale’s plan consisted very much of Crowley, which is part of the reason he was so distraught when he didn’t want to go. To be fair, I had also gathered that Crowley was the star crossed lover, and Aziraphale wasn’t taking a hint, but that’s unrelated. I don’t have any concrete idea on what his plan is, other than some form of very strategic loophole trickery, which he does often on his own, and has gotten away with every single time without fail.

#good omens #good omens theories #Whoever came up with Final Fifteen is a genius #android’s insides

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mumpsetc · 10 months

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Here’s some object show criticism if you please:

I don’t give two shits if HFJONE was supposed to be a commentary on object shows and the object show structure a la never finishing, failing to develop characters, whatever. I didn’t come to ONE for the commentary, even if it was a super interesting facet of the show; I came for the mystery, and the mystery ended up disappointing me HARD.

When you set up plot points and emotional beats with absolutely zero payoff, you inevitably create a sense of disappointment and a near betrayal of the audience’s trust in you. Hfjone could have been a magnum opus of the OSC, and by god it still might be, but it fell into the same trap of mediocrity every other object show does when they lose sight of the storytelling.

There’s not even really any real tragedy (even though that’s what the show sacrificed its narrative cohesion for), because applying logic for a second mitigates any questions we might have of where the characters will go next. When there’s only one or two answers available to any questions asked by the open-ended ending (will they get out? Probably, if they wait long enough! Is Liam gonna turn into Airy? Sure would be a poor writing decision if he did, cuz “facing similar traumas automatically turns you into your abuser!” Is bit of a bad take imo!) it’s not really so open-ended, is it? I physically couldn’t be too sad about how the characters ended up, because giving it a even little thought already routed out how the rest of their arcs and lives might go.

I don’t know. There’s so much that HFJONE could have done and been that it just genuinely ended up not becoming, and I was really saddened by it, because I know it’s not for lack of trying. It was purposeful storytelling that it ended up how it did, and I feel like it was the wrong decision.

Also, the complete under-utilization of Amelia as a character was probably The largest detractor of the show. Dangle her presence and significance to the story in front of us then grant her like, a minute and a half of screen time. For someone so critical to the themes of the show she really ended up hardly existing, which inadvertently says something about the themes of the show (that being that they hardly exist :shrug:)

I've Been Rewatching One With Friends Lately and I've Run Into a Lot of Similar Qualms You Mentioned. I Will Admit to Being a Lot Softer on One, Both for Emotional Attachments Because I Am a Sap, and Just Out of Respect for Doing a Lot of Osc Firsts, But Yeah I Do Think It Held a Lot of Punches, Esp in Regards to Amelia.

I Don't Think Cheesy Was Misogynistic on Purpose But Her Writing, and a Lot of S2's Writing in General is Unintentionally Pretty Misogynistic. I Think There Were Ways to Keep Amelia's Role as the One Who Knows Nothing and Gets Beaten Down While Still Giving Her Anything to Do, a Friend Pitched the Idea of After Credit Scenes Done in the Black and White Style With No Dialogue Just Kind of Showing Her Subcumbing to the Monotony of the Plane and I Love That Idea.

However I Will Say I Do Still Love the Ending and the Themes are Enough for Me Personally. I'm a Huge Sucker for Very Theme Centric Work and One Scratched That Itch for Me, Though I Can Definitely See How a More Mystery Focused Viewer Would Be Disappointed. You're Right the Ending Isn't as Open Ended as People Like to Pretend But IMO It Doesn't Need to Be. I'm Just Happpy That the Final Time We'll Ever See the Characters is At Their Absolute Lowest, I Think That That's a Very Interesting Final Note and At the Very Least I Respect the Hell Outta Cheesy for Sticking to That in a Community Who's Barely Interacted With Bittersweetness at All.

#I Really Appreciated This Ask Anon I Know I Didnt Hit All Your Points But Its Cuz a Lot of It is Jusr Very Good on Its Face #Sorry It Took Me Somw Time to Respond I Wanted to Properly Phrase My Own 2 Cents #Also My Friend With the Amelia Idea I Mentioned is @Schoolunchtray Go Follow Him #dreamy.txt #Objective Criticism

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doberbutts · 11 months

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Okay so I have a question and I really hope I word it properly so if this is written incomprehensibly, let me know and I’ll try to write it better.

In regards to the recent reblog chain about titling your dogs related to their working ability and not just their conformation titles, I was curious if there are titles you would not expect certain dog breeds to have, and if they did title well in certain things would it seem like the dog is against breed standard?

For example, based on your extensive sharing of knowledge on Doberman temperament and breed ideals, would it actually be wrong for them, and other protection breeds, to have a CGC/CGCA/CGCU? Another example- would it be kind of a fault for a Doberman to achieve a high title in herding based on the actual purpose of the breed? Or is it just a testament to good training and partnership between handler and dog?

Let me know if this makes sense! It was just a curiousity that came up in my mind for the opposite end of the spectrum. Thanks for your thoughts!

This is a really interesting ask, and I wanted to give a detailed answer and not just something short I fired off while on my phone, so I wanted to wait until I had a moment on my computer with a proper keyboard to answer.

Your example- dobermans and the CGCs- is sort of complicated. I've discussed before how breed uses have changed over the years and with the current world how some things we had to let go of and focus on something else, and dobes aren't immune from that. The original temperament of the doberman was a very sharp, very aggressive dog that would bite any stranger that touched it and was not particularly safe for other people to be around, that bonded closely with their owner and refused another master, that was so good at being that type of dog they were called "devil dogs" and people went out of their way to avoid them. The AKC came up with a set of rules regarding vicious and biting dogs in the ring largely due to dobermans biting the shit out of judges during exams, and biting their handlers for being held back from biting the shit out of judges. There is a reason that until the late 90s, one of the generic "vicious aggressive dog" looks was usually a doberman. The breed reputation is very well deserved.

Let me be perfectly clear when I say: I do not think there is space in this world for this type of dog anymore. Clearly, neither did people in the 70s, and there were a lot of breeding decisions that took place to try and adjust breed temperament to what we expect of dog behavior today. Being able to allow strangers to touch them is something every dog now needs to know, because we like veterinarians and don't want our dogs removing their hands, because fully sedating a dog or drugging them into oblivion just to get a shot and a wellness is incredibly hard on their body, so we as a breed community kind of changed track.

So... do I think dobermans getting their CGCs means they don't quite have correct temperament for the breed? Really depends what you're considering correct temperament. The original temperament of the breed certainly I would say that dog could not get a CGC due to needing to accept a stranger coming up and touching them/their owner without biting, which is completely against the entire point of the breed created to bite strangers that touch them or their owners. At the same time, I think in current society a CGC proves that the doberman in question isn't a total loose cannon, which is more relevant to today's world and the priorities of today's dog laws and ethics.

Herding on the other hand some people do with their dobermans. Personally I think it's stupid but not due to being against breed temperament, more that dobermans often have a lot of terrier in them and are just as likely to bloody the sheep as they are to attempt to herd. It is true that herding breeds were used to create dobes along with mastiffs and terriers and the occasional sighthound, but herding was never the point and I think risking someone's stock due to a barely-there ancestral connection to herding is, um, not super ethical. I feel more strongly about this than I used to, just because of learning more about herding through the use of my swissy and her breeder's sheep. GSMD and dobes both branch off the butcher dog, which became rottweilers, but in very different directions, and so the more I learn about how dogs move stock the less happy I am about the few people that put their dobes on sheep.

I don't think herding titles are any proof of breeding quality because, again, the doberman was never intended to herd in the first place. Similar to how I don't think dock diving, agility, or barn hunt titles are proof of breeding quality in dobes either, because jumping into water, maneuvering around obstacles at high speeds, and killing rodents on a farm also aren't doberman-specific jobs. I would find more value in dock diving for water rescue breeds, barn hunt for terriers and other vermin-killing breeds, and agility for breeds intended to work closely with their owners in difficult terrain and high stakes/high speed settings. Again I do not think they are necessarily against correct breed temperament, in fact I think a good doberman should be able to do any of those without too much issue because they like to work with their owners in training, but I do not think they objectively show me anything about the worth of breeding that dog either.

Don't get me wrong, I also think that bitesports are also an incomplete picture- the doberman was a personal protection dog, not a sport dog. IGP, which used to be IPO, which used to be Schutzhund, is a sport developed from a breed worthiness testing program specifically for the German Shepherd during a time when Nazis took over Germany. It has very little to do with the doberman outside of being a German bitey dog thing developed during the lead-in to WWII. That is why dobes are considered an off breed in IGP, they were never actually developed to pass those standards. There are less than 50 living IGP3 dobermans in the country currently.

Ringsport, similarly, was developed primarily with malinois and dutch shepherds in mind. There are currently two MR3 dobermans in the country and the same person owns both of them- historically I believe there have been 5 and that person also owned one of the remaining 3. You'd think PSA would be more in line with what dobermans were meant for, being advertised as most similar to real personal protection street work, until you learn that there has never been a PSA3 doberman and the PSA2 doberman club is extremely limited (I believe to-date only 3 dogs have managed it, two males and one female). American Schutzhund was also developed by and for GSD people and is too new to have dobes scoring very highly yet. And this new combo PSA-dock-diving hybrid thing called Shark Bite I believe was created by malinois people.

In other words, the breed-worthiness titling system we do have was never created with the doberman in mind, being the only breed developed specifically for personal protection. I have met plenty of IGP3/IPO3 dobermans who I think have bad breed temperament. I have also met plenty that could not pass even the IGP1 that I think are more correct. BUT, I will say, it is very easy to claim your dogs are not passing because they are REAL WORKING DOGS when in reality it's because your dogs are shitters or because your training is bad, and in fact it is a crutch I see a lot of unscrupulous people in the breed rely on when asked how they can be breeding TRU WERKIN DAWGZ when they haven't titled a single one of them.

There are people who are of the opinion that high scores in these sports actually means that the dog is not quite to-standard temperament-wise, as the correct doberman is a highly defensive, sharp dog that in theory should actually struggle a bit on some of the exercises. I am not experienced enough to know if I'd go that far, but I think it is important to keep in mind that even judges will say this- I have heard judges say "technically this doberman scored higher on this exercise, however that other doberman while scoring lower had more correct temperament when considering this sport was not made for the breed's drives" in their critiques. So if what sports we do have are not quite the full picture, we cannot rely on titles or scores to tell us the full story on whether the dog is necessarily correct.

HOWEVER all of that to say, I still believe that even a low level relevant working title should be required of the breed- and all working breeds- because far too many people as said have used this as an excuse not to do it at all, and thus breed dogs who can't even pass a basic temperament test let alone put in real work. Far too many people have felt comfortable saying "well, I'm not interested in this" or "it's too hard/expensive/time consuming" or "what we have isn't currently adequate so I won't do it at all" and now breed dobermans who run at the first sight of conflict instead of, you know, showing any amount of GUARD in a GUARDIAN breed.

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queen-mihai · 5 months

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Hi I know that this may seem out of place. But at what point in your life did you begin to feel stable/adult. I often times have conflicted my feelings of gender discomfort or writing with these beliefs. Because of this I have abandoned myself to a point where a stranger now lives in my body. Have these thoughts ever bothered you?

Hmm🤔

This is an interesting question. I suppose it's rather gradual. And there's never a feeling really of being "there".

You always feel kinda like you're faking it in a way. People really are telling the truth that nobody knows what they're doing. Everybody's making it up as they go along

And one thing that we all eventually find is that no one can do this alone. I work as an engineer. I work in the field with machines that don't move, meaning I have to go to it instead of it coming to me.

That means that I not only have to be an expert at math and designing and troubleshooting, but also logistics. I need to figure out schedules and times and make phone calls so people know who I am and what I'm doing and if it's going to affect them.

But like that didn't happen suddenly all at once. The reason jobs measure *years* of experience, is that it genuinely takes *years* to get used to the type of things adults have to do just getting around.

My boss doesn't want to have to come pick me up to bring me to work. The regional manager I work for would suffer if every time I ran into a problem I came asking him what to do. I wouldn't have gotten this job if I hadn't been doing the stuff I do here for years already. But I didn't start by doing this much. I started in my career just kind of accepting assignments that needed to be traveled for. They might have come once every 6 months in my early career. But I jumped at them because I wanted to get out of the office and I thought that part of the job was fun.

Eventually employers got used to that idea and they sent me out more. "Oh Mihai will take care of that. She loves driving around. And with her doing that, we can have some of the other engineers do something else"

Eventually that grew into enough that I could add it to my resume and really take it on as part of whatever job I got next. Etc etc etc until the job I have now doesn't HAVE an office; I'm pretty much forced to demand a company vehicle, and I spend practically half my life living in hotels.

Regarding feeling stable, that's more a job of meditating and feeling good about being *you*.

I don't feel like the world is stable. I don't feel like people's opinions of me are stable. The political, corporate, financial, and climate world is unstable. But I know who I am, and how I make decisions. I know I'm always going to be honest about how I feel, if I am proud of my work or if I made mistakes, and I'll always try to communicate. I know I work really best alone, but I love being around people. I know I'm a leader and people tend to do what I do, so I try to do the right thing always. That's what makes me feel stable. I'm stable in myself, no matter how unstable the world is around me. And that consistency of personhood provides an anchor from which other people can latch on and help find themselves too. (Because you're not me, but you can use me to find what similarities and differences there are between us, and thus, paint a clearer picture of your own personal image)

I don't know how much I can help with the "abandoning yourself" part.

Part of what hurt me previously was being involved in a very destructive relationship. Once I left that relationship, it became much easier to construct *me*. Maybe that's not what you have going on, but it may be worthwhile to take a look at your environment and see if there's something making you feel like you can't grow into the person you want to be.

In any case I wish you well. And I hope you find your place. What I can say is that there's no finish line; there's no race; there's not even a path. There's just decisions you make every day. They're all important and none of them are important. But what IS important is that you see that you're not waiting to start your story. You're in the middle of it right now. Please know that you are loved, and very cool, and I especially appreciate you for sending such an interesting ask 🥰

Peace ✌️ ❤️

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kings-highway · 8 months

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I read Time Enough yesterday from start to finish (yes I had other things to do, no that did not stop me) and I am still thinking about it. I left a little comment but I wanted to say more. (Sorry if this is a bit incomprehensible, I'm Very tired)

Your angst is always written in such an immersive and impressive way, but this story in particular hit so strongly. I thought it was so well done. Everything Daichi did and felt was so believable. And the feelings of having to move through a life like that was absolutely heart breaking. The relationships were so believable and idk how to phrase it other than genuine? Realistic?

It was just such an intense and beautiful piece, and Daichi's journey/cycle of monotony to acting out to trying to find stability again was so well done and so relatable. I was right along with him at one point like "obviously he has to learn a lesson here, but come on he did! He's trying to live life more!" Only to realize at the end that he still really wasn't, not really, not in the way that really allowed him to appreciate it. It wasn't that he needed to appreciate life by acting more or less predictable, it's that he needed to learn to appreciate life by appreciating his own, by learning to take care of himself, by asking for help and letting others take care of him. I've read several of your stories now where this is a major theme for him and I was STILL too immersed in his mindset to see it right away! That's very good writing imo <3

If you want to answer (ik some people don't like explaining story choices and that's fine too! I have my theories) what moment in that last day was it that broke the loop? Or was there no one moment, but just the process of the day itself and those leading up to it that did it?

First, thank you so much for leaving such a lovely and sincere ask in my inbox. You've got my giggling and kicking my feet like a child on christmas. It means so much that someone like you is reading and appreciating my work 🤍🤍

Second, I dont mind answering at all! I know a few others had speculated regarding the circumstances of the time loop so I can definitely share my decision making process

[Spoilers for literally nearly every chapter of Time Enough below, if you havent read it yet.]

And the answer is... Nothing.

Though that doesnt mean it wasnt intentional on my part, that nothingness means something to me.

The logic of the time loop is simply "sometimes time gets stuck in a loop, and unfortunately this time Daichi is aware of it." There is no real reason why it breaks on that specific day that it does, it could have just as easily broken the day before or the day after or in twelve years.

While I played around with the idea of Daichi having to "break" it in some way, there was no version of that that didnt position someone in his life as more important than another, or incite further questions about the universe. (although it does make me giggle imagining if the second half took a sharp left turn into Daichi and Oikawa hunting and fighting aliens.)

You could read this story as a metaphor for depression or burnout, optionally.

The truth is, every choice Daichi made always mattered. Each day did not come with definitive evidence that it would loop again into the next, it just coincidentally did for approximately two years. As suddenly and jarringly as it breaks in the 11th chapter, that could have been any chapter. Thats why so many end with the 00:00 moment, because it wasn't a given and it was important to mention. What would have happened if it had broken after he's slept with and romanced Oikawa? [Would he have pursued this new connection? left it as a one night stand? how would his life have moved forward after that kind of insane connection as Oikawa would believe he had his time loop experience?] What would have happened if it had broken after Tendou had been hit by the truck? [Tendou would be dead - what will he tell anyone?] What if it had broken after punching Iwaizumi? While he's standing, frostbitten in Iceland? After any random day he thought didnt matter? After he kills himself?

Daichi was never any more safe from his consequences in the loop as he was in linear time, he just got lucky.

And thats the point. How many times have you [the reader] skipped a class because its "boring and repetive?" phone in an essay because its "just" 10%? declined to hang out with a friend you havent seen in a while because "eh, maybe next weekend."

Choices always matter. Even if you think you have calculated the worst possible end, every single day has the ability to dramatically shift the direction of your life if you use it right. There is no such thing as a day that doesnt matter.

As a metaphor for depression and burnout, you're absolutely right. Daichi's loop is broken the moment he tells Suga that he'll let him take care of him. The moment he admits there's a problem and makes a promise he intends to keep. The act of loving and being loved in return is scary and difficult but sometimes it is the only way to succeed. [Its important here to mention that this is not romantic love I refer to.] And that means trying. Agreeing to do something you think is pointless [Daichi doesnt believe a psychiatrist can help; its a time loop] but he trusts Suga anyway and agrees sincerely.

As a story, it was nothing anyone did.

Daichi just got lucky that when the loop broke he was safe and surrounded by people who would care for him.

Free will and individual agency are massive themes in my stories and perhaps thats just a product of my own current age and experience. I think in a lot of ways I havent quite gotten the hang of it myself even if I understand it in my mind. Understanding it intuitively is a lot harder.

But it gets a little bit easier for me when I can write it out and share it with people like you who care as much for these characters and stories and appreciate them in the same way.

Thank you so much for asking <3 Inbox is always open and yall can message me any time if you wanna chat about anything to just scream. [The chickens in my brain will do their best to scream back.]

#haikyuu fanfiction writer #haikyuu fanfiction #daichi sawamura

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lokiyoulittle · 2 years

Text

Exchange student

Eddie Munson x fem!reader

Summary: You’re an exchange student from Europe and the cool kids want you to hang with them but you prefer the company of the “freaks”

Pt.2

(Y/C)=your country, (y/l)=your language, wanted it to be more general than just insert my own nationality etc.

Hope you enjoy!

Authors note: So I’m back with writing random fics apparently?? I don’t know the accuracy of all this so I apologize if it’s not really like this in real life. Also, this one’s for my non-English speaking European babes. If you can’t take jokes on americas expense; this ain’t for you, sorry. It’s all light hearted banter from your neighbors in the other side of the pond don’t take it too seriously ✨

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You had taken the offer to be an exchange student in the US for a year, kind of hoping you’d spend a year in New York or LA but realizing you’re going to little Hawkins Indiana made you question your decision if you’re being honest. But it was still an experience that you would cherish, you thought to yourself as you walked through the doors and entered Hawkins high your first day. Everyone knew about the exchange program and all eyes were on you when you walked the halls to find your locker. The school had set you up with a guide for your first day, a kind looking cheerleader named Chrissy.

“So this is it! Here’s your lock combination.” She said happily and gave you a small note with a few numbers on it. You have her a thank-you-smile and opened your locker to find all the necessary books already there and waiting for you.

“So you’ll be in the seniors class and we’ve got history for our first period.” She continued and showed you which books you needed. “You can sit next to me if you want or feel free to get to know people as you want” she gave you such a warm and kind energy that you couldn’t help but feel welcomed.

“So the new kid’s here.” You heard a voice from behind you and turned to see a blond guy walk up to you and stand next to Chrissy and she reached up to kiss his cheek. “I’m Jason, pleasure to meet an outsider!” he extended a hand for you to shake. You took his hand and shook it while Chrissy explained his Jason was her boyfriend and was on the basketball team.

“So, you’re from Europe?” He said and smiled. It was a less friendly and warm smile than Chrissy had given you, the energy around him was screaming “typical American cool kid”.

“Yes, (y/c) to be more exact.”

“Yeah, whatever, Europe. So can you tell me something in (y/l)?” He dismissed your correction and just kept going.

“Um.. sure? [I don’t know what to say to you when you’re putting me on the spot like this why this is even something people ask is beyond me (in your language)].” You said and faked a pleasant smile.

“Wow, what’s that mean?” He asked.

“Oh just that I’m ready for class.” You faked a smile, getting a bad vibe from Jason and started picking the books from your locker.

“Right, we should go. I’ll see you at lunch!” Chrissy chimed in and gave Jason another peck on the cheek and walked you to the classroom.

History was… not what you were expecting with it just being American history with no regard to other countries during the same time era. Maybe they’ll talk about some other nation’s history next lesson, you thought. The next period was math with was okay, math is math and doesn’t really change. Then it was time for lunch. You stood in line for food in the cafeteria with Chrissy and looked around at the different groups of people that were seated at every table. It really was the typical cliques that you’ve seen in the movies. As you looked you noticed a table with all boys dressed in the same shirt, a white shirt with black sleeves and some sort of print on the front that you couldn’t see probably at this distance. What you did see was the guy at the head of the table looking back at you. You knew people would take notice of the new kid and thought nothing of it, giving him a smile and a greeting nod. He smiled and waved a small wave. He was good-looking, you couldn’t deny that but just from that small interaction you felt that kind energy you had felt from Chrissy this morning.

You got your food as Chrissy waited for you and she turned around to walk the other way from the nice, long haired guy that had waved at you.

“Hey, I think I’ll just sit over there and make some more friends.” You said and nodded your head in the other direction.

“Oh, sure! Just come find me if you need a chaperone to your next class.” She smiled and walked away to sit with Jason and some other jocks and cheerleaders.

You walked up to the guys’ table and realized maybe he was just being nice and not actually wanted you to sit there. “Fuck” you thought and was just about to turn around when the long haired guy stood up.

“Well, welcome to Hawkins m’lady!” he said and gestured you to walk past him. You chuckled and did a small curtsy.

“Why thank you, kind sir.” His smile grew wider at how you got along with his banter. “May I accompany you gentlemen for lunch perhaps?” You continued.

He looked shocked for a moment before pushing the tray of the younger boy seated at the table. “Of course you may, princess.” He said and took the tray from your hands to put it down where he had made space on the table. You blushed at the name and sat down.

“I’m sorry if I’m intruding I just… well I don’t know anybody yet and you guys seemed like interesting people.” You excused yourself.

“You’re definitely not intruding, just thought you’d sit with the cheerleaders seeing as you’ve been with Carver’s girlfriend all day.” He said and sat down as well.

“Yes, well I like meeting new people. Hence why I’m on this side of the ocean.” you chuckled. “I’m y/n by the way.”

“Eddie.” He said and then gestured to the others. “This is Gareth, Jeff, Mike and Dustin.”

You greeted everyone of the guys with a smile and a nod. A few hello’s and other greetings were exchanged before the table returned to the topic they were talking about before you arrived. But not Eddie, he kept looking at you.

“So, you’re from…?”

“(Y/C).” You filled in.

He hummed in response. “So how are you liking America so far?” He asked as he ate some of the food of his plate.

“It’s okay.” You replied. “It’s not quite what I was expecting but so far so good.”

“What were you expecting? An eagle flying around and people wearing “I Love America”-shirts?” He asked ironically and you laughed.

“Not really. On the other hand, this kind of is stereotypical American so maybe my expectations are met.” He smiled and shrugged his shoulders and leaned back on his chair. His smile dropped and was replaced by an annoyed look. You turned to look where he was looking and saw Jason approaching the table.

“Y/n, I understand that it’s a little confusing to you but you’re not supposed to sit with the freaks.” he said.

“Well, Jason, I am not confused and I’m completely fine sitting here. As you said earlier, I’m an outsider so it’s really fitting for me to sit here isn’t it? You can go back to your cool table now, bye!” You tilted your head and gave an obvious fake smile. Eddie watched you and with a small smirk. Jason huffed and muttered something under his breath.

“What was that?” You asked.

“I said” Jason took a step forward. “European bitch.” and smiled cockily.

“Hey, fuck off Carver!” Eddie spoke and pushed back his chair to stand up. You put a hand on his shoulder and pushed him back down. “Ouch, you kiss your girlfriend with that mouth?” You said and stood up behind Eddie to keep him seated. “I may be a bitch, but at least I’m a not a walking stereotype.” You kept on smiling as you spoke.

“You need her to defend you freaks?” Jason realized he wasn’t getting to you like he always gets to others and changed his focus on Eddie. “What? The freak got a little girlfriend?”

Eddie pushed to stand up but again you pushed him down. “You got a problem with that?” You asked and bent down to wrap your arms around Eddie’s shoulder from behind. He slightly tensed up but didn’t stop you. In all honesty his heart was beating like crazy. “Don’t be jealous Jason, go back to your own girlfriend.”

Jason huffed and walked away.

“Oh, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” You realized your arms were still around him and let him go and sat down.

Eddie looked at you with big eyes. “No! Um.. no, it’s fine.” He said as his heart rate was coming back down to normal. He then smirked again. “You’re something else, huh?”

You chuckled. “What can I say? I’m a European bitch apparently.”

“Hey, you wanna see more of Hawkins after school? I’ll give you a tour if you’d like” he said and didn’t drop eye contact.

“I’d love that.” you smile.

“I’ll meet you after class then, princess.”

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Part 2?? Series?? Idk??

#eddie stranger things #eddie munson #eddie x y/n #eddie x fem!reader #eddie x reader #stranger things #stranger things imagine #fanfic #eddie the banished #eddie the freak munson

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