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#sometimes fate can be so cruel
anxresi · 9 months
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…Thomas Astruc really is a nasty piece of work, isn’t he?
This post is about how he reacts to criticism online, and what motivates him to reply.
Not to mention, a shout-out to his ‘defenders’ who somehow think they owe the man a lifelong debt of gratitude.
Don’t worry, I’m sure he’s more than ably been compensated for producing the idea that led to this behemoth of a show (before he ran it down to the ground, that is).
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So he finally admits it… he’s writing at the level of a 5 year old. The truth outs at last!
Here’s another one…
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How would we get the idea you ‘hate’ Chloe?
You mean like: engaging in the most heinous character assassination I’ve EVER seen regarding her development over S4-5, giving us the waste-of-bland-space Zoe who everyone in the in-show universe constantly praises to further spite her fans and responding to almost EVERY individual who criticizes your treatment of her online, while ignoring most other messages?
Hmm, I wonder where we could’ve got the impression from you don’t like her very much… 🤔
It’s got to the stage now where he reacts so aggressively and urgently to anyone who produces the slight WHIFF of criticism, that it makes me think he has something to hide. Like for example, directly interfering in her character arc?
Anyway, he does that classic thing every bad liar does… Deny everything, then get so abusive with their angry response to try and frighten the poor OP into never raising the issue ever again.
He doesn’t have to even reply to anyone, but when he does it always seems to be the ‘haterz’ he engages with than the devotees who grovel at his feet. Almost like he enjoys the confrontations. Very strange.
Oh, but don’t worry. All those young fans he ignores still turn up to ‘defend’ this grown-ass 46 year old man from the vicious assault of a couple of teens rightfully asking questions of his terrible writing. decisions. NEWSFLASH: he’s not gonna give you mindless sycophants a job, you know. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.
In fact, all these ‘brave’ internet white knights defending him on Twitter… you do realize you massively outnumber the Chloe fans, don’t you?
It was a personal choice Thomas made to highlight the only two negative questions he got about her that day to his hundreds of thousands of followers, as if to make out this kind of ‘trolling’ is commonplace.
It’s not, and picking on the couple of Chloe fans willing to speak up ain’t an ‘honorable’ thing. He couldn’t give a hoot about you in reality, you’re just interchangeable tools in his ginormous ego trap.
Hope you enjoy the taste of his boots. Wise up, and see him for what he is, would be my genuine advice.
P.S The other topic that seems to heavily occupy him judging by his posts is the ‘Climate Emergency’ which of course very important and explains the ‘New World’ we see after Gabriel’s wish we see at the end of S5.
Personally, I think they laid it on a bit thick with the whole ‘let’s get rid of all cars, no litter anywhere, waterways and trees everywhere you look, no more teachers at school so set your own lessons’ message, but whatever.
My point is, I bet he lives a jet-setting lifestyle where he travels around the world a lot, in terms of income he’s gotta be in the top 10% bracket and I can’t seem to find anything online about him being a vegetarian or inviting homeless people to stay at the mansion he doubt calls his place of residence.
So could it be… this ‘progressive’ outlook is another attempt by a middle-aged man to ‘get down wiv da kids’ from someone who’s willing to talk the talk but not make any concrete sacrifices in his own privileged life that might help halt environmental decline? Id wager he uses a lot more resources than the average person he lectures to, so what is he doing himself to prevent ‘global Armageddon’?
From the available evidence, not a lot. Could it be… he’s an attention-seeking self-congratulatory sanctimonious hypocrite who’s life ethos is ‘Do as I say, but not as I do’?
Probably.
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lovelovex · 1 year
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#i don’t have words tbh but i’ll try#i’ll try not to sound as dramatic as i actually want to but the thing you probably already understand ab our circle is that our core values#are loyalty and trust#so last night was just a huge thank you to everyone who have not once in all these years betrayed those values#nothing ‘just’ ab it ik ik but i want to be serious for a moment bc a lot of things have monumentally shifted inside the group#the changes we’d been forced to adjust to have been cruel and to me personally the heartbreak seemed unbearable#the betrayal and the doubts almost cost me everything and everyone i care ab the most and i never talked ab the confrontations inside#the circle but just trust me on this one it almost broke us all up#i wanna say it was a miracle but there’s nothing miraculous ab friendships that have been tested by fire surviving another test of fate#it’s a collective conscious effort to still stay and trust each other and rmbr everyone who never made us doubt them#hence the personal invitations and the intimate location that holds too many memories for all of us#D said smth ab the circle slowly shrinking but idk if eventually there would be like seven ppl showing up#those ppl would be the chosen family we find comfort in and thank you all so much for never leaving#you all are the reason things are Better now even tho no one thought we’d come to this a year ago#idk how to express my gratitude in words bc as always they all seem to fall flat#so i hope the songs we performed last night and the fact that i just silently (and creepily) stared at you and cried might have given you#the idea of how much i love love love every second we share together#it’s the biggest privilege in the world to me to have so many ppl i can say i love you to and to hear it back always Always it just means#everything to me#it’s annoying the hell out of me that i still can’t break the habit of disappearing sometimes but knowing i have you patiently waiting#for me to come back to myself is enough to stay sane and grounded#this is all over the place and i keep switching back and forth from ‘we’ to ‘me’ to ‘us’ and i’m sorry ab that it’s still hard to get down#from yesterday’s high and form coherent sentences#you’re everything we could’ve wished for and more and i hope we made you see it#to everyone on our side – we love you beyond words 🤍#thank you for loving and accepting a bunch of dramatic emotionally unstable theatre kids who just love to be idiots onstage and make the ppl#who make them happy – happier#love love x
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raeathnos · 1 year
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bubblegumbeyotch · 1 year
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some-bunniii · 3 months
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Lucifer meeting an artist reader
・❥ The King of Hell admires your paintings
| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 |
x: reader is g/n :) no use of pronouns or y/n
warnings: some raunchy details of your painting & mild swearing
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When you arrived in Hell, the first thing you did was scream.
Where were you? Why was it so hot? What happened to your bed?!
“You’re in Hell, kid.” A blue bat-faced man had broke the news, as you stood helpless and confused on the street.
Hell? Like, demons and dark satanic magic kind of Hell?
That couldn’t be right. Were you that bad of a person to deserve such a fate? Did the few times you passed the Salvation Army donation bucket without dropping a coin damn you to this place?
Your death was fuzzy, a trail of shattered memories that could only give you bits and pieces of your final days. Did you go quickly in your sleep? Maybe, you hit your head so hard it caused you some kind of post-death amnesia?
Whatever had happened, you were here now with no way out.
During your first few days scouring for answers, you began to notice that Hell had an eerie similarity to life above ground. There were clubs, casinos, concerts. Heck, even TV! Sure, the things broadcasted were dark and sometimes disgusting.. but at least you had something to watch.
Maybe it wasn’t so bad after all? At least, compared to being thrown into dark, fiery pits for all of eternity like some cruel game of sink or swim.
Minus the people, of course. Most of them were pretty bad. Your first day watching a man get shot in the chest and lines of cocaine across tables in a diner made you decide to stay away from the streets of the city.
Which meant you had to get busy making a life for yourself. It started with working odd jobs as a bartender or a bell-hopper. You’d scrap together enough money to head to the nearest art supply store, and fill your bag with paints and charcoal pencils.
“You an artist or something?” The clerk had asked you as she scanned your items, taking note of your vast amount of diverse tools you were slowly collecting every time you stopped by.
“I usually paint, but yes, I used to do all kinds of mediums professionally when I was.. alive,” You had whispered that last part out with a pang of sadness, the reality of your situation still a fresh wound in your mind.
You had found an ad for an art studio, ran by a demon named Alexandre. You had showed him a few of your pieces, some pretty landscapes, a rendition of the Starry Night Sky which you had replaced the backdrop to be Pentagram city instead of whatever little village it was originally, and a self portrait.
“You got talent, i’ll give you that,” He had hummed, as his eyes scanned your paintings with intrigue, “But the subject? Not really what we’re looking for.”
“What do you mean?” You had asked, confusion evident in your voice.
“We’re in Hell, demons ain’t into pretty ponies and happy, little trees. They want more— eh how do i put this — sinful behavior?”
“Like…?”
“Like tits or anything that can be turned into a kink. They like blood and guts, and dead people splayed around. Dead angels too. Stuff like that.”
Tits? Dead people? You didn’t have much practice with that! At least not enough to make a career out of it.
But you had agreed anyway, this was your only shot. You stayed up late into the night, sometimes even into the early mornings, perfecting your skill when it came to much more risqué visuals. You would buy stacks of pornograohic magazines, flipping through for poses to memorize.
Slowly, you began to master the craft, and your time at the studio increased as you finally settled into life in Hell.
All you had to do was churn out painting after pastel after acrylic in the little cramped room you now called home. Alexandre would then take your pieces and sell them to the highest bidder. You’d get a percentage of the commission, using the money for whatever necessary.
Seeing as you could be mugged at literally any point in time, or anywhere for that matter, you made sure to keep a large sum of cash locked away in a double-bolted safe.
“You know Ozzie’s, that club down in the Lust Ring?” Alexandre had approached you one day, excitement in his eyes.
You shook your head as you sat behind the easel, your brush an inch from the canvas.
“Run by Asmodeus, one of the literal seven deadly sins?”
You shook your head once more.
“Fuck, you still have a lot to learn. Well, he really likes your art. He wants to buy a bunch of paintings for his club, and he’ll drop a shit ton of cash too. Ya think you can handle it?”
Your eyes had widened when he told you the exact price this sin guy was willing to pay. You had jumped from your seat, shaking his hand in profuse thanks, before scurrying off to gather more supplies.
And for a time, that’s how it went. You’d sell your steamiest paintings to Asmodeus, and other private commissions you took one after the other.
Apparently, your painting hung up in Ozzie’s was getting a lot of attention. Especially from a certain spider demon named Angel Dust.
After hearing Charlie’s decision to look for another member of their staff— someone who’d be in charge of decorating the premise with promises of love and tranquility up in Heaven— Angel Dust had taken a few snaps of your work with his phone, before showing it to Vaggie and Charlie. He had complimented your work, claiming it was ‘the best’ oil paintings he’d ever seen.
Although, in his line of work, he probably hadn’t seen many to compare yours so.
“ls this what we want in our hotel?" Vaggie had asked, motioning to a woman on the canvas that was drenched in sweat and white fluid, her private parts exposed to the audience as she posed suggestively on a stripper pole.
To which Charlie has responded, "I think it's... unique! You can definitely see she knows how to, um, really bring the scene to life! l'm sure she'll be open to creating our vision!"
Your phone had rung one night, with a voice on the other end begging you to come to her hotel and at least hear her offer for a new job.
Which lead you to the Hazbin Hotel, a slightly run down building that obviously needed more work. Inside and out.
“Oh my gosh! Hi there! My name is Charlie, and this is my hotel! it’s such a pleasure to meet you!”
“Thanks.. but I don’t see many guests around.” You had told her, your eyes darting around the lobby as you absorbed your surroundings.
“Well, we’re still trying to get our name out there. We’re not just any hotel, we’re a hotel set on redeeming sinners!” She exclaimed with pride.
“Redeem?” You had asked her, an eyebrow raised in disbelief.
She shook her head vigorously, “This hotel.. it’s going to be amazing! We’re going to turn Sinners into well.. non-sinners! They’ll be rehabilitated, and have morals! And honor! Heaven won’t be able to do anything but welcome them as angels!”
This idea had sounded a little far-fetched when you first heard it.
“You’ll be in charge of making art that reflects such views! Something that will make Sinners go, ‘Wow! Now that’s where I want to go!’”
“What’s in it for me?” You had asked.
“Well you’ll have your own room, and your own little studio too! I’m sure it’s much bigger than the one you already have. Plus we have a bar, and good company!”
You turned your head to the small crowd of demons a few feet away. A pornstar, a gambler, a snake guy with weird little walking eggs, and a really creepy man in a red coat that shot you a wide smile with eyes that seemed to stare right through your soul.
This was good company?
You contemplated her words, thinking deeply. Did you really need to leave the studio you were already a part of? You already had a room and place to paint, anyway.
Charlie must have noticed your hesitation to accept before quickly adding,
“Anddd you can sell your pieces here too! Plus, you can keep a hundred percent of the earnings.”
You perked up at that, the money made from your art would be... all yours? And, you’d get a breather from the drawing people having sex? That didn’t sound so bad after all!
“Deal!” You had reached out a hand, shaking hers with delight.
It had taken you a day or two to map out the interior of the hotel and figure out what could go where. You began to slowly brainstorm, what could make a sinner stare at a canvas and want to redeem themselves?
During your time on earth, you studied many artists through history. Most notably however, were those from the Renaissance. You remembered walking through the Sistine Chapel when you were younger,
staring at awe of the paintings of winged angels and heavenly skies.
You perked at that thought. That was it! The inspiration for your paintings, an ethereal perspective on what one would find in heaven. The feelings of bliss and care-free joy.
You spent your first few days in an undisturbed area of the hotel, it was a large room on the farthest side of the lobby. It must’ve been a guest room at one point, but other than a bed and few cushions that the ‘Radio Demon’ had placed for you, it was empty.
It was quiet enough that you could sit there, undisturbed, as you drew upon your memories and vast knowledge of histories in art as you slowly began to bring your ideas to life. Slowly, the room also took form into being yours, personal knick-knacks and stacks upon stacks of blank canvases waiting to bring your visions to life.
At the end of every day, you'd come out with your hands covered in charcoal and paint, your hard work on full display.
You had even grown closer to the other residents in the hotel, beginning to see them as more than their initial appearance. Even Alastor, who still kind of gave you the creeps, you had regarded as someone you could speak to without hesitation.
You’d sit on the couches with Angel Dust, drowning in popcorn as you watched whatever was on TV for the night. Sometimes, you’d sit with Husk at the bar as you listened to his stories from his days at the casino and as an Overlord.
It was there, when Charlie had summoned the courage to call her father, Lucifer, the King of Hell, to come visit the hotel and decide on getting her that meeting with the higher powers in Heaven.
Upon hearing about Lucifer's impending visit, you felta mixture of nerves and excitement. You've heardstories about him-his charisma, his power--but you never expected to meet him, let alone showcase your art to him. Would he even like them? He's no doubt seen much more beautiful sights.
As preparations for Lucifer's visit got more chaotic by the minute, you found yourself back in your Atelier, quickly cleaning up your room and berating yourself for any little mistakes you found in your paintings. Each stroke of the brush carried with it a sense of urgency, a desire to impress not just your friends at the hotel, but also the King of Hell himself.
The current piece you were working on was your most intense one yet. It depicted that of an almost nude man, flying high in the skies. His back was faced towards you, his face hidden from view. He was faced towards the sun, which bathed him in a warm glow. Arms outstretched, knees curled in, it seemed as if the angel was going to give the sun a large bear-hug.
It wasn’t until you heard loud commotion in the lobby did you realize Lucifer had arrived. Quickly dropping the brush you were holding, you sneaked down the stairs and quickly neared the archway of the lobby.
Peaking your head out, you canned the large room. Until your eyes locked in a pale figure. Lucifer.
He was beautiful, definitely held the looks of an angel that fell from heaven. His light blonde hair curled elegantly around his face. The candles from the chandelier above basked him in an ethereal glow, as though he could replace the sun itself. Just like the angel from your painting.
His eyes reminded you mostly of a snake. Calculating and cold, but holding so much wisdom and depth. There was a slight sadness there as well, as though itate at him slowly, consuming his soul. It was masked incredibly well though, and you only caught a glimpse before it disappeared.
His attitude toward his daughter made your heartmelt, it was obvious he cared about her in the way heacted and spoke to Charlie, even if his absence didn't speak so fondly of him.
As Lucifer and Alastor butted heads, you quickly scurried back to your room. You had hoped to finish your work-in-progress by the time he arrived, but the struggle to get those damn angel wings to be anatomically correct was a pain.
You hurriedly continued your work, trying to calm your nerves by busying yourself with the painting in front of you.
Charlie's voice broke you out of your concentration soon after, multiple footsteps closing in on where your room lay. You shot up from your seat, and stood up straight, ready to meet the man of the hour.
You couldn't help but feel a flutter of anticipation mixed with apprehension as they approached your make-shift gallery.
Charlie, Vaggie, and— wow, he looked so much better up close— Lucifer stepped through the doorway.
“Dad, this is the newest addition to our staff! They are in charge of helping to inspire our future guests through the power of art!" Charlie proclaimed with glee, pulling you by the arm towards her father.
“It's a pleasure to meet you, your majesty. I apologize for being so messy, I was just finishing up another painting." You had greeted him softly.
"Don't worry, you look great," He assured, a gleam in his eyes, "and the pleasure is all mine, anyone who is willing to help my little girl is someone worth meeting,"
You stood there for a moment. Unsure of where to go next, before you felt a slight nudge from Charlie that pulled you back to reality, "Why don't we take a look at your paintings? I promise you, Dad, they are amazing!" She squealed softly.
Beckoning Lucifer forward, you took him through each painting. You described your feelings for each piece, and what made you choose them for the hotel.
You rambled on and on, and Lucifer never said anything, he just listened as you spoke.
Which made you nervous, what was he thinking? Did he like them, or was he just waiting for you to stop talking so he could quickly escape to something of more interest to him? The thought made sweat dribble down your forehead.
To your surprise, Lucifer's reaction to your art was not what you expected. Instead of dismissing it as mere frivolity, he studied each piece with genuine interest, his expression thoughtful and contemplative.
He mostly stayed quiet, but once in awhile would throw in a joke here and there if he noticed anything of interest in the paintings.
His goofy nature that you caught onto watching him earlier was barely evident though, unlike when he was trying to impress his daughter.
After finishing the small tour, you turned to him in anticipation. Your hands nervously rubbing together, as you shot a glance to Charlie, and she gave you an uncertain look. You both held the same question in your gaze: What is he thinking?
"These paintings.." Lucifer began, his voice low and melodic, "Are different than most i've seen down here, not just some scandalous display, but with real meaning. They evoke emotions long buried, memories of a time before.. all this."
His words caught you off guard, and you found yourself nodding in agreement, unable to tear your gaze away from his intense eyes.
The one he was staring at in particular was a recreation of The Garden of Eden by Jan Breghal, a painting that depicted the place where humanity was birthed, and where it fell.
“Does it look like.. how you remembered?" You had asked slowly, if anyone could validate the truth in your work, it would be him.
"Actually, this is much prettier. The real deal doesn't do your painting justice," He replied, "It was so boring, just green on green."
Also," He added, "An unfortunate lack of ducks. Humanity should be grateful that I got them out of that forest, so they could see something actually worthwhile.. and with ducks."
You giggled softly at his words, have you ever met someone that seemed to love ducks as much as him?
As Lucifer continued to explore the room, you couldn’t help but notice the way he lingered on certain paintings, his fingers tracing the delicate lines with reverence. It was as if he saw something in your art that no one else did, something profound and personal.
Perhaps your choice of baby-faced angels, and ethereal landscapes brought back memories of his time in Heaven. Hopefully, that wasn't a bad thing.
When Lucifer finally turned to you, his gaze softened, a hint of something unreadable lurking beneath the surface. "You have a rare gift," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "To create beauty in a place like this... it's truly remarkable."
He looked at you for a moment, before a smile crept onto his lips. He was Lucifer, he knew exactly what you meant. It's what drove him to manipulate Eve to eat from the Tree of Life in the first place.
Was he finally getting a glimpse of the good free will brought to humanity? Was there actually meaning in his past actions that sent him to the depths of Hell?
His gaze narrowed in on the canvas behind you, and he slipped past you. "What is this?" He asked with intrigue, pointing towards your unfinished painting.
“My final piece. I've been working on it for days, but I just can't get the wings right.. believe it or not, i've never actually seen angel wings in person." You said that last bit as a joke.
His smile sent butterflies fluttering in your stomach. For the King of Hell, it was surprisingly warm, and kind.
Then an idea struck you, but you tried to desperately to push it down. Except it seemed like the only time you could ask someone with angel wings to let you use them as a reference. How many fallen angels were in Hell, anyway?
"I'm so sorry if this is out of line, but. could I, um, borrow you for a little bit? I've just been having trouble drawing the wings correctly and you, well, have them?”
His eyes widened, and his chest puffed slightly at your question. He shot you a toothy grin, “Paint me? Why didn't you mention that earlier?! I have the perfect figure for such a thing.”
Behind him, Charlie rolled her eyes, a hint of a smile on her lips. You smiled too, you should've known he'd have no problem with it, he was the embodiment of pride after all.
He plopped down on a stool before you, and removed his overcoat. Beneath what seemed to be a red and white gatsby vest that hugged his frame perfectly. Jeez, he was almost too good looking.
He stretched out his large wings, folding the otherfour behind him, only revealing the two much largerones. They were breathtaking, truly. They looked so fluffy too!
You guided him on the exact position you needed them to be in, before making your way to the canvas and getting to work.
Assuring the group you only needed to get a visual on the canvas, the actual work you would do on your own. Slowly, you traced the frame of his wings, etching out the soft lines of his feathers and the curvatures of its form.
You could only imagine how soft those feathers were and what it would be like to curl around them like a pillo-
You shook your head to rid those thoughts. Why were you thinking such things about Lucifer like that? It's not like he would even want to let you go anywhere near him or his wings.
Would he?
You continued your painting, trying not to meet his gaze as you would occasionally peak your head from behind the large canvas to get another good look at his wings.
There was a moment when you two did lock eyes, and he sent a half-lidded smirk in your direction. Thankfully the large object between you two helped hide your growing blush. He was obviously just trying to get you worked up, you assured yourself. Just like he did with Alastor. In a different way, of course.
"This reminds me of when Charlie was younger" Lucifer began, filling the silence, "We sat for a good few hours trying to get a family portrait painted and she would just not sit still!”
“Dad.. please, not right now." Charlie growled out in embarrassment, her cheeks flushed. Vaggie only smiled beside her, listening intently as Lucifer filled everyone in on her younger years.
“lt got to the point where I had to summon her favorite toy to get her to stop squirming, everything was smooth sailing after that.
"And what was her favorite toy?" You inquired softly behind the canvas
“A rubber duck! Like the ones you play with in the bath? She could not get enough of it whenever it squeaked. One time the squeaker broke, and I went to my workshop and crafted her a magical one that meowed instead! Haha!"
Okay, this family really has a thing for ducks!
“She hated it, but that only inspired me to keep making more. Sometimes, we'd sit together on the work bench, and I would just come up with ideas like confetti-spitting, or color changing ducks. She wasn't too good at speaking at that time, so every time she'd laugh that was my clue that she liked it!"
It was sweet, the way he rambled about his daughter. He never spoke of himself or his accomplishments, despite embodying the sin of pride. It was almost like his only pride was his best creation, Charlie.
He continued, the room full of jokes and laughter, even from Vaggie, regarding Charlie's life as a youngling. You listened intently to his stories, his voice dripping with amusement as he recounted story after story.
lt was so sappy and you loved it. Which made you grumble quietly to yourself, why did you have to have a thing for DILFS?! Concentrate on the painting!
After a moment, Lucifer's eyes turned back to the paintings around him, his gaze scanning each painting once more. "I've noticed that you seem to have a repetition in your work.. not that that's a bad thing!" He quickly corrected.
“But in all of your paintings featuring angels, there's always a swan swimming or resting nearby. Do they hold any significance, or are they just a passion for you?"
You looked up from the canvas, and also traced the angelic figures across the room. He was right, with the images of the divine beings also came the appearance of the large, white water fowl. Lying lazily beside the angels, or swimming across pools of water as the care-free beings danced and frolicked.
You contemplated for a moment, before speaking truthfully.
“I just think Swans are elegant and ethereal creatures. They embody the purest of souls, untouched by the taint of sin that consumes the world, just like how their feathers remain untouched from the waters they glide on"
Lucifer's eyes lit up slightly, drinking up your words.
“Plus," You continue, "they mate for life, and allow themselves to just.. decay once their significant other departs from the world. It's very romantic, and love is one of the purest emotions in the world."
Lucifer wasn't looking at you when your eyes met his again, his stare was far off. Past the room entirely, as your words echoed through him. There it was again, the glimpse of sadness that he tried to hide so painfully well.
“Does such love like that exist?," he murmured so softly you had to strain your ears.
There was a few moments of deathly silence before Charlie piped up, asking her father something about heaven. You tried to listen, but your mind was stuck on his words. Lucifer was in heaven once, and he still didn't fully believe in such things?
If there weren't others in the room, perhaps you would’ve asked him.
It took a few more minutes before you were able to wrap up fully, but you had no regrets of asking this man for help, the angel on the canvas actually looked like he had wings, not just stumps of white tuft.
You got up from your seat and walked towards him, noticing that Charlie and her girlfriend were not present anymore. It was just you and Lucifer in theroom now.
“Well, thank you, Your Majesty. You really helped me out here, and it'll go a long way to make the hotel look even better"
“Please, call me Lucifer. The formalities are only for subjects, not friends," he replied, "l did really enjoy getting to see your paintings, you are quite a phenomenal artist. I wasn't lying when I said your work was different from the rest. If only you were around for those family portraits."
You were so taken aback by his praise that you only shrugged it off, like it was no big deal. Even though, coming from the King of Hell, it was.
Glancing behind him, you saw Charlie and Vaggie whispering to each other in the hallway outside of the door. You assumed they probably wanted to finish up so they could get him to agree to the meeting with Heaven.
lgnoring his previous statement of formalities— he was the king, you thought, you weren't going to just pat him on the back and say 'see ya! —you lowered your head and bent down to curtsy, just like you were taught when you were younger, placing your hand slightly in front of you.
Usually, you'd use that hand to shake or grasp the other person's, but it felt wrong to treat this powerful angel like any other man.
Suddenly, you felt the soft touch of fingers gliding across your hand. In confusion, you looked up at those golden eyes and that charming smile. Trying to get a glimpse of what he was thinking.
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His hand gripped yours gently, and with a bow of his own, lowered his lips, and pressed a soft kiss your knuckles.
Your breath caught in your throat, and you feared to blink, soaking in his beauty for as long as you could before he had the chance to pull away. You wanted to say something, but your tongue was refusing to work as your mouth opened and closed silently.
When he finally released your hand, he adjusted his hat and turned towards the door. Leaving you standing there, your face burning hot
He cleared his throat, and turned his head slightly, his eye catching yours. A playful smile dancing on his lips.
“l look forward to our next portrait together, hopefully where I am the motivation behind your strokes. Not just these dull wings."
And with his words hanging in the air, you were left alone, with the growing itch to press your face into a pillow and squeal.
——————
awww man, my first fic! I was trying to make this more dating-centric, but i couldn’t stop writing for their first meeting and it got too long haha! If y’all like this one enough, i’ll make a dating version!
let me know what you think 🙏 i reallyyyy appreciate all comments and criticisms!!
wonderful art i commissioned by DawnDrawnS on twitter! <3
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hisui-dreamer · 11 months
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never too late
Characters: Jade, Kalim, Idia, Malleus
Synopsis: You shared a night of passion with your lover before you left for the other side of the mirror, but fate's cruel hands strike once again as you realise you have to raise his child alone in your original world. Thankfully, your child is incredibly drawn to magic, and they opened a portal...?
Tags: slight angst, fluffy end because im a sap, fem reader, reader gives birth to a child, reunions, bot proofread
Word count: 4.1k+
Notes: same as the last two, all the name ideas are in japanese. if it makes you uncomfortable, you can imagine that reader is japanese
also wow classical music makes me so inspired i wrote so much
Part 1✧Part 2✧Part 4✧Masterlist
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A few months passed as you settled back into your routine at home. Eventually, with the noticeable changes in your body, it dawned on you that you were with child—his child, your lover from the other side of the mirror whom you could no longer reach.
Days turned into weeks, and weeks turn into months. You had adapted to the trials and tribulations of parenthood. Juggling the responsibilities of work, childcare, and household chores was no easy feat, but you found solace in the small moments of your child's growth and development.
Your child was a true joy to behold, a mirror image of their father in many ways, and you often see the ghost of your past lover in them. Having inherited his magic, your child experimented with their powers, leaving you to support them with what limited knowledge of magic that remained from your NRC days.
On one such experiment, your environment started to shift as a wave of magical energy engulfed you. When you opened your eyes again, he was there, right in front of you—
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Miharu (翠晴) with 翠 meaning "green, emerald, jade" and 晴 meaning "clear, fine, serene"
your daughter has straight teal hair and slightly angular eyes that are a complete replica of her father's
the name you chose for her has a strong connection to jade, also representing the peacefulness you found in Jade's presence
she's a quiet child who always has this calm smile on her face
she's loves being independent and hates asking other people for help
there are some times when you have to hold her and tell her "hey, you can rely more on your mother you know?"
she doesn't look like she wants physical affection, but when she's accomplished something, you'll notice her staring at you in anticipation
when you reach your hand over to pat her head for a job well done, she smiles so contentedly and just melts at your affection
loves playing around with plants and fungi, and thankfully she's quite good at managing them, so sometimes you can save money on groceries
loves swimming in the ocean, but much prefers clinging onto you in the water
will turn to her eel form if in bodies of water for too long, so you're careful about what times or places have fewer people
incredibly intelligent and good at quick thinking, always curious to learn more about fungi, magic, etc.
seemingly calm when you told her about her intelligent and sly father, but soon after learning about him, she'll ask questions about him a lot and start practising magic more
and when she finally accomplishes teleporting you two to him, you're in a pantry that smells of fresh tea leaves, and he's looking as elegant and charming as ever as he pours water into the teapot, his hair is sleeked back and the grace exudes just puts you in a trance
Jade's eyes widen as he beheld a sight that only seemed possible in his wildest dreams. There, standing before him, was the person he had loved so deeply and had thought lost forever.
"My love... is it really you?" Jade whispers, his voice quivering with a mix of disbelief and hope. His heart thuds in his chest, the sound reverberating through his entire being.
Tears glisten in the corners of his eyes as he closes the distance between you, his steps quickening with a sense of urgency. He envelops you in a tight embrace, his arms holding you firmly, afraid you might disappear once more. "Oh my pearl, how I longed to turn back time and not have let you go, to have kept you here with me," he whispers hoarsely, his voice trembling with a mixture of joy and sadness.
Jade is showing more emotion than you've ever seen and you're both crying and holding each other tightly
eventually, floyd barges in to tell Jade azul's complaint about how long he's taken to make the long-forgotten tea
when floyd sees you, he immediately tries to come over and squeeze you
but Jade is having his moment so he lifts you and keeps you away from floyd's grasp
pouting, instead floyd diverts his attention to Miharu, who's just curiously staring at him
eventually eventually azul shows up to see why everyone has disappeared and he's incredibly surprised to see you two
he complains that Jade will be busy for a while then, but you can see his eyes are teary and there's a soft smile on his face
for quite some time, Jade is incredibly alert when it comes to you, always paying attention to your needs, your feelings, and if you get up in the middle of the night for a bathroom break, he wakes up with you and waits outside the door until he can hold you again, and then he'll carry you back to bed
he didn't realise how important you had meant to him until you were gone, how lost and empty he felt, so best beware, he's never letting you go again
oh he's so cute with Miharu!!! building terrariums together and comparing notes and cooking mushroom meals together
father-daughter swimming sessions!!! sometimes floyd and azul join
definitely pranks azul as a trio, but azul can't get mad at her hahaha
you can tell Miharu is so enthusiastic about spending time with uncle floyd
Jade cries crocodile tears that his dearest daughter prefers his brother over him
and Miharu just tells him "well you belong to mommy, so i'll have uncle floyd"
the twin eels can't say they're unhappy with that arrangement, now can they
and don't forget mama and papa leech! they love spoiling Miharu with trinkets and treasures they find!
Jade's smiling genuinely more than ever, and you can't believe how lucky you are to have both him and Miharu in your arms
You direct your eyes towards Miharu, and his gaze follows yours, a tender smile tugging at the corners of Jade's lips. "And this... is she our child?" he asked, his voice filled with awe. He crouched down, his hands gently cupping her face, his fingertips tracing the familiar features.
"I'm so sorry," Jade confessed, his voice filled with raw emotion. "I've been such a terrible father, I've missed out on so much of your life,"
Miharu's hand instinctively rises to meet his, her small palm finding solace against his cheek. A gentle reassurance emanates from her touch, and her voice, soft yet resolute, pierces through his self-doubt. "It's okay, daddy," she murmurs. "It's not your fault.
Without hesitation, he pulls her into a warm and encompassing embrace, enfolding her in his arms as if shielding her from the world. "Oh, my darling, you are such an angel," Jade whispers against her ear.
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Hidaka (陽夏) with 陽 meaning "sun, sunlight, positive" and 夏 meaning "summer"
your son has spiky white hair, glowing tan skin, and ruby-like eyes that often sparkle with joy
you named your son after his father's sunny disposition, and the warmth in scarabia that you look back on fondly in your memories with him
hoo boy you got yourself a piece of bouncing sunshine
he's so bright and happy and warm and there's always a wide smile on his face that makes anyone who sees it feel re-energised
will often do things on impulse out of pure curiosity, but if you tell him off he's immediately apologising and hoping you're not mad at him
snuggles so much!! the first thing he does when he sees you is run up and jump into your arms
he's always willing to share what he has with others, and is friendly with everyone
though he has a big appetite, he's not picky about food and will happily eat anything you give him
he's not the smartest and is rather oblivious much like his father, but he makes up for it with how passionate and motivated he can be
but when he's determined, he can be surprisingly smart
when he heard about the kind and brave man his father was, he was visibly shaking in excitement, firing question after question
and before long, his determination to reunite his family brought the two of you into a dim room lit by a single nightside lantern
Kalim sat at the bed clutching a turban you had gifted him, his face has matured and lost most of its baby fat
Kalim's lips are parted, his breath catching in his throat as he sits there, rooted to the spot. "This... this can't be real," he murmurs, his voice barely a whisper, as he takes a tentative step forward, his heart pounding loudly.
His feet move as if guided by unseen forces. His eyes fixate on your face, searching for any sign that this is not a figment of his imagination. A fragile smile begins to form on his lips, the corners of his mouth quivering with a mix of disbelief and joy.
His steps quicken, echoing through the room, each one carrying him closer to the person he thought he had lost forever. And then, in a burst of exhilaration, he is by your side, his arms encircling you with a strength born from the depths of his soul.
"It's you," Kalim gasps, his voice filled with raw emotion. His grip tightens, his embrace both gentle and fervent as he twirls you around in the air, a whirlwind of emotions propelling him forward. Laughter escapes his lips, an expression of pure elation and gratitude. "Thank the heavens you're back! I never thought I'd see you again!"
oh he's crying waterfalls nonstop, you and Hidaka try to comfort him and wipe his tears but he only cries harder at your touch
at this point, jamil bursts into the room,
alert and thoroughly confused why Kalim is crying in the middle of the night
though when he sees you, his expression visibly softens and after asking a few questions to confirm your identity, he genuinely welcomes you back
his reaction to Hidaka is "oh no another one" but with the way he lifts him into the air and the teasing smile on his face you can tell he's not completely serious
after graduation, Kalim worked hard to inherit the Asim family business and has grown to become a successful businessman who cares for his workers and people
jamil willingly offers to take over Kalim's role for a while so that he can spend time catching up with you two, and it's clear from their exchange their relationship has improved a lot
Kalim, despite having seemingly matured, clings onto you like a child and you feel things haven't changed much at all
as the heir, he has been pressured to get married, but it didn't feel right for him when he still longed for you
so he's incredibly glad you can now permanently be the person who stays by his side, showing his affection by showering you with gifts and snuggling with you any chance he gets
he's great with Hidaka too! they're both super energetic and curious though, so occasionally jamil or you have to step in and be the reasonable person
so many impromptu trips on the magic carpet with the three of you just exploring places and going wherever you want!
he's also very very cautious about your security, all of a sudden he has a wife and a healthy heir, so undoubtedly there are some eyes turned to you
but Kalim has grown stronger and wiser to be able to protect what he cherishes, so he's not letting any harm come your way
Kalim gently pulls back, his eyes flickering between you and the little boy who bore an undeniable resemblance to him. "You've brought us such an incredible gift," he whispers, his voice tinged with awe. "A child, our child. I can't believe it..." His voice trails off, trailing into a breathless hush as he tries to comprehend everything.
Bending down gracefully, Kalim positions himself at eye level with Hidaka. "Hello there, little one," he murmurs, his words floating on a cloud of softness. "I'm Kalim, your...dad." The weight of the word lingers on his tongue.
Hidaka's face lights up like a radiant sun, a beacon of pure joy. Without hesitation, he lunges forward, embracing Kalim in a tight hug. Laughter bubbles up from within him, filling the air with a melodic symphony. "My daddy!" he exclaims, his voice a chorus of excitement. "I've always wanted to meet you!"
Kalim's tears fall freely once again as he wraps his arms around Hidaka, holding him close.
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Honoka (火華) with 火 meaning "fire" and 華 meaning "flower, splendour, brilliance"
your daughter had bright yellow eyes that seemed to shine in the dark, and seemingly normal curly blue hair, until it would act in a similar way to Idia's hair when she became emotional
you named your daughter after her father's fiery hair, his inner brilliance and potential, and of course, the idea of a flower blooming in the underworld (Persephone vibes hehe)
she's the child who's quiet and introverted on the outside, but has so much to say when she's alone with you
most of the time she's generally soft-spoken, mumbling and acting shy with strangers
but oh wait? there's a pop-up arcade of her favourite show??? gremlin child activated
ridiculously good at games, even if she just learnt the rules, it's very like she'll end up being the winner
you used to spend a lot of time styling her hair, but there were too many instances where soon after finishing styling, her emotions became too unstable and her hair turned into flames
still braidable, just not explainable to strangers
she's kinda like a cat in the sense that she'll act like she doesn't care or not want your touch, but when you pat her head or brush her hair, she just sits still and beams at your affection
definitely clings onto you when there are too many strangers and she's scared
ridiculously smart and good at math and technology, and she had no issues learning magical theory from you
when you told her about the brilliant but shy man her father was, she was dying to meet him when he sounded so similar to her
and after running some tests and calculations, she connected her magic to Idia and the next moment you know, you were in the Styx science lab, with Idia, his hair tied up, his eyebags worse than ever, standing right in front of you
Idia's heart skips a beat as he catches sight of your figure emerging from the radiant light, a surreal moment that defies all expectations. "OMG, it actually worked..." he exclaims, dropping his tablet to the floor, forgotten in his rush towards you.
With each stride, the weight of years apart seems to evaporate, replaced by a resplendent glimmer of hope that grows brighter with every passing moment. His palms grow clammy, but undeterred, he continues his determined approach, craving the warmth of your presence.
He finds himself standing in front of you, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears. The room seems to shrink, narrowing down to just the three of them, the air heavy with anticipation.
Idia's voice quivers, his words delicate as they tremble in the air, like a fragile melody woven with threads of longing and regret. "I...I can't believe it's really you. I've missed you so damn much." His voice cracks with emotion, his vulnerability laid bare as he reached out to hold you.
Idia's crying and Ortho's right next time him congratulating his success, though there's a loving and emotional tone to his robotic voice
he's holding you so tightly and crying and he just melts into your arms and warmth
soon after graduation, Idia began working more and more at styx to inherit the family business
but a side project of his for the longest time was opening a portal where you could go back and forth between two worlds
and miraculously, his system connected with Honoka's magic and you were back!
idia's incredibly nervous and surprised he has a daughter, and he has a mild panic attack before he's a bit more calmed down with your and Ortho's help
but once things have settled down a bit, you'll start living comfortably with your family in styx
though idia may be busy at times, he always has ortho with you or some cameras near you so you won't suddenly disappear on him
you're basically irreversibly a part of the shroud family now, and in his mind, you really didn't get to choose
his anxiety about you leaving keeps him up at night, but when he wakes up from nightmares and you're the first thing he sees, he slowly calms down and curls his body into you to feel more of your warmth
gaming sessions with Honoka!! he introduces all sorts of his favourite games to her, though you make sure they're not too violent and inappropriate knowing him, and they bond over playing and introducing games to each other
family game nights with you four playing basically Mario party or co-op games!!
and though Idia's still working on breaking the family curse, even more motivated now because he doesn't want it affecting Honoka, he's so grateful fate has finally given him this happiness, to be able to live together as a family with his most cherished people
Trembling with a mix of excitement and trepidation, Idia knelt down to meet Honoka at eye level, his voice filled with a gentle warmth. "Hey there, kiddo. It's... it's really nice to finally meet you." His words carried a hint of awe, as if he couldn't quite believe that this precious little being was a part of him.
Honoka's eyes sparkled with a mixture of curiosity and recognition, her small hand reaching out to touch his hair. She uttered her first words, a tender melody that danced in the air. "You have the same hair as me... Daddy?" she asked curiously.
Tears welled up in Idia's eyes as he comprehended her words, a tender smile graced his lips. His voice choked with love and gratitude. "Yeah kid, I'm your daddy." He pulls her into a hug, "Let's play lots of games together, yeah?"
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Keitarou (蛍太郎) with 火 meaning "firefly" and 華 meaning "eldest son"
your son has black hair that fades at the tips to a blue reminiscent of the sky right before sunrise, and shimmering emerald eyes with a reptile-like slit in them
you named your son after the night you first met his father who manifested as fireflies, and a reference to the nickname you chose to call him
your son is very polite to strangers, but he struggles with getting along with his peers
he'd love to make friends, but his aura comes off as overwhelming to other people, so unfortunately he does feel a bit lonely
but he loves it when he's at home with you, when you shower all of your affection onto him and he feels so loved and cherished
he loves his mama so much he always wants to help you with chores and whatnot, but unfortunately he can be rather clumsy and oblivious which leads to more problems being made
but in those situations, you always show him the correct way of doing things, while also reassuring him it's okay he made mistakes, what's important is learning from them
super clingy and cuddly! sometimes he becomes territorial and his dragon tail appears and curls itself around your limbs
you have masterfully disguised his budding horns by wrapping his hair around them, explaining to others than he liked this Halloween costume so much he wanted it done everyday
being half fae, he's incredibly talented at magic and it really does come as second nature to him
when you told him about his charming yet fearsome father, he was really curious about this figure, but also a part of him wondered why his wonderful mama would choose someone like him?
well, mama seems to miss him a lot, and Keitarou loves nothing more than seeing you happy, and all of a sudden, you're standing in the throne room or the dark gothic castle, and right across the room was the King of Briar Valley, his expression stone cold and cautious until he met you eyes
Silver and Sebek, positioned in a defensive stance, braced themselves for whatever entity would emerge from the swirling portal. As the portal dissipated, revealing the figure within, Malleus gasped, his breath catching in his throat. A surge of emotions overwhelmed him, an electric current coursing through his veins.
His steps quickened, propelled by an overwhelming desire to bridge the chasm of time and distance that had separated you for far too long. The distance between you closed swiftly, his graceful stride carrying him closer to the embodiment of his deepest longing. The words that slipped from his lips were laden with a tenderness and longing that only you could evoke.
"My dearest Child of Man, is it truly you?" Malleus murmured, his voice a fragile whisper, as if afraid to shatter the fragile reality that had materialized before him. His outstretched hands trembled, yearning to cradle you once more, to feel the warmth of your presence.
A mixture of awe and reverence coated his words as he continued, his voice barely audible but drenched in profound emotion. "You came back. It's been so long, far too long..." His voice trailed off, swallowed by the weight of the years that had separated you.
he's so shaken the rain has cleared up to bring about a beautiful rainbow that hovered over the castle
silver and sebek go to get lilia, and it's a heartfelt family reunion
they've all seen how Malleus has returned back to his hollow shell of existence after you left, and they're so glad his eyes are glimmering with emotions once again
though some are more direct about it, and others felt the need to rant about how cruel it was to leave them (we love you sebek)
though he's been urged by his advisors to quickly marry and start producing an heir, he's adamantly refused because he firmly believed nobody would ever make him feel the same way you did
there are some advisors who are secretly unhappy with the fact that the queen is human and the new heir is half-human, but nobody would dare say a word when they see the Malleus Draconia act like an oversized puppy dog with his head in your lap
plus, Keitarou magical prowess and intelligence easily put them in their place
Malleus, with your return, has grown more openly dramatic and affectionate
for example, if you mention you like a certain flower, the next day the entire garden is replanted to that exact flower
do calm him down a bit so he won't be too extra with his love language
Keitarou and Malleus sort of have this rivalry between the two of them to get the most of your affections
but they do eventually reach a truce when they both agree you're the most important thing in the world
but you know, general lighthearted sabotage on both ends, Keitarou wants to sleep with his mama, so papa can sleep alone yeah?
no it ends up with the entire family sleeping together and you're sandwiched in the middle
well, at least it's a happy family of two possessive dragons and possibly a baby princess coming on the way?
Keitarou hid behind your legs, his small frame peeking out to catch glimpses of the man standing before you.
"Hm? Is he... our child?" His voice carried a soft tremor, as if he dared not let himself believe in the possibility. But your nod, filled with affirmation and a love that transcended time, set loose a cascade of emotions within him. A serene smile graced his features, radiating warmth and a profound sense of peace.
Malleus turned towards Keitarou, his eyes tender and gentle, a wellspring of paternal affection flowing freely. "Hello, young one," he began, his words carrying a weight of significance that only a father's voice could hold. "I am your father, and it is a pleasure to meet you."
Keitarou's wide eyes glistened with a mix of wonder and cautious hope as he listened to Malleus's gentle words. "Hello," he murmured, his voice filled with a blend of innocence and an innate longing for connection. "I... I'm Keitarou," he continued, his voice wavering slightly but growing stronger with each syllable. "It's... it's nice to meet you, Father."
Malleus's smile widened, mirroring the joy and relief that flooded his own heart. With open arms, he enveloped Keitarou in a warm embrace.
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Part 1✧Part 2✧Part 4✧Masterlist
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suguru-getos · 6 months
Text
୨・┈﹕✦﹕ Kinktober Day 27﹕✦﹕┈・୧
-> Event Masterlist
Yandere Hawks x F!Reader -> Ruts
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Warnings: Dub!con, filthy dirty talk 😭, prone!bone, dóggy!, squirting, nicknames -> Baby bird, love bird, mentions of breed!ng, cumflation, plugging, overstimulation. Yandere tendencies, threats, wings as a source of threat, kidnapping. Let me know if I missed anything.
Summary: How you latched yourself as Hawks’ little thing after being just an avid fan, now caged and loved (in his own ways) and mated to. <3
You hate the crumbling feeling on your stomach that comes with Keigo's presence, your heart aches, your sanity gets crumpled under his dominant, ruthless gaze that hides oh-so-well behind his suffocating love. Keigo knew the moment he saw you for the first time, sparing your time at a coffee shop in the evening, the same shop he sometimes likes to visit. The coffee there is immaculate, not the 'gutter like' canned coffees he drinks for the hell of it. You were just as enamoured by the rest of the fans, gazing at him, some are nervously asking for his autograph, some of them are asking for selfies. Yet, nothing phases Hawks. It's as if he's made for this. Made to show everyone why he's the Number Two hero. You could almost swear it gave you strength and guts to ask yourself, so you get up from your place, walking towards him with that unhinged confidence, mingled with a hint of nervousness because of just how much you adored him as you urged him for a selfie. Mostly, Hawks takes respectful selfies with women, distancing himself just enough not to look probing, yet close enough to look friendly. Yet, she selfie you clicked with him didn't turn out to look so planned, so thought out. It almost seemed like Hawks wanted the momento you carried to have an imprinting significance.
Then, it was as if fate was responsible for what comes next, or that's something stupid you'd leave your old self to believe. Hawks saved you from harassing villains, taking you home couped up in his lap. Why wouldn't you ask him to come inside, why wouldn't you offer him a drink?
Now you're just a kidnapped nobody, your family thinks you're dead, your friends think you're dead, Keigo made sure of that. You see- he could easily date you, but patience is not something he harbours so perfectly. He could earn your love, by being the doting boyfriend, by being everything you'd ever want.
Then again, he can do that once he has the surety of you being couped up in his house. That's exactly what he did.
"Come on Baby bird, I am trying to be nice." He coos softly, watching you scream and cry and beg, it breaks his heart why don't you understand.
"Maybe I can write my name on your hand?" He holds up his feather blade, it's half threat, half unhinged devotion. "Promise you won't feel a thing!"
"Hey I got you, your absolute favourite food lovebird, come here." He croons, urging you against your will to settle in his lap as he feeds you.
He is tolerant, even tempered, hopelessly funny until you piss him off. You know better than to piss him off after being with him for a few months now. You can't even recognize him when that happens, rageful daunting echoing through the walls as his flowy feathers encircle your body like a threat, Hawks is a threat. You mustn't forget that.
He thinks sex can solve it all, what more than to make love to his mate, to get intimate and make you take his ridged member in your hole over and over until it slides in without your squirms and moans. He can tie you up if you do though, no disturbances please-
You haven't seen the real, gruesome, cruel self of Hawks yet. You will soon, his rut is approaching. The symptoms are clear to him, and weirdly to you as well. He has discussed this several times during the 'aftercare' of you. "You know, there are certain times when.." his thumb rubbing your palm soothingly, "When the avian side of me becomes dominant…" He says it so softly you'd almost feel it's harmless.
Not right now though, when it's actually impending and happening.
"Baby bird, did you fucking put your clothes in laundry?" Keigo yelled from the washroom, the restroom's echo making him sound even more terrific than he usually is. You visibly flinch like a dried leaf, shuddering, "Sorry- Kei I- uhm, sorry they were dirty." You don't know the reason of this outburst, you'd rather not find out.
You give yourself strength to drag your defiant feet towards the rest room, finding him pathetically curled up on the left-over set of your used clothes. He looks almost cute if it weren't for his intentions.
"God I- I want you so fucking bad." He almost whimpers, soon turning into an aggressive growl.
"On the fucking bed, all fours." You shake up at the sudden order, were you being punished for something like this? Keigo's crazy but he's not this- off his clock. "Why? What- what did I do wrong?" You bite your lip, one feeble attempt to want to know what you're up against.
Hawks sighs, his expressive wings faltering as he took two steps towards you, wanting to lessen the distance. You wanted to run so bad, the instinct in you screaming to run, yet the panic in you freezing you up.
"Nothing, pretty girl. Told you I got my rut approaching, didn't I?" Hawks is slightly tender, though from the way he's straining himself to be polite, you know not for long. "On the bed. All. Fours." He gripped your face with a single hand, puckering your lips and leaning in, forcing a painful whimper with the way he kisses you roughly.
"Good girl." He parts away, the string of saliva parting like a thread of fate.
You don't want to make this hard on yourself, so you walk towards the shared master bedroom, it's designed in colours which are neutral, yet suit perfectly to the Hawks palette. As his fan, or ex-fan, rather, you always thought of how his aesthetic would be, and it perfectly matches your imaginations.
To please him a little more, you take off your clothes, arching your back up perfectly to let him see your pre-abused cunt, sitting perfectly down your tightened asshole. You bury your head on the mattress, letting it be cushioned in the fluffy pillows.
An audible hiss escapes Hawks, he can't fucking control the lewd desires that tear him apart when he marvels at your body. "These next few days, would be tough, Angel." Keigo warns, and before your brain could register, or formulate a response, You feel Keigo spitting onto your cunt, the dribble of the liquid making you throb, moistening your walls as his fingers pinched at your clit. A small whimper escapes you when you find your sensitive bundle of nerves under his mercy. "Aw, little slut loves a little pain with it." Keigo snickers under his breath, spanking the fat of your ass hard, one single hit shoving you into the mattress more, though the hold on your clit forbids you to. It feels like a clamp being pulled, you're left with nothing more than a scream as a response.
"Oh good girl, sing for me." Hawks hums, spreading your ass cheeks and watching your now relieved clit twitch, along with your walls. "This pussy begging for me?" He warns, and you nodded as if there's no other answer you can give him.
"Going to fill you up, breed my little mate until she can't take it anymore. Give you so many loads your pussy can't have any other option but to give me a little Keigo, or a little Y/N." He groans to himself, taking his hardened cock out, shoving it deep into your walls, in one swift go. You can cum as many times as you want really, because normally, Keigo's stamina covers up for it, this time- worse. He's rutting like an animal, achy, needy, all for you.
"Then- you know what I'll do?" Hawks breathes out, gritting his teeth as you scream in pain, laced with the perfect amount of pleasure.
"Then, I'll plug this pretty pussy up, none of my cum can escape. Then when I want to, I'd unplug and fill you up again. Little cum jar." He laughs, "My pathetic little cum dump, aren't you?"
Hawks is filthy, absolutely unhinged and filthy with the way dirty talk laced with degradation spouts out from him.
You nodded, hating the way your body betrays you at his words, the way your cunt clamps onto him in a silent affirmation.
"Good (thrust) girl (thrust), gonna (thrust) fill'ya (thrust) up."
Your moans and whimpers echo throughout the shared bedroom, it feels almost sinful, the way his dick kisses your cervix, brushing against your G-spot and making you dance around the waves of pleasure. "So fuckin' tight even though I fuck your pussy up almost err'day." Keigo leans his head back, praising you as he rails onto you, one to two thrusts every second, hands gripping your waist with a bruising grip so you can't possibly run away. "Atta girl" He loves how your moans break into a jerk with the way he's thrusting. Loving the way your petite body tries to clamp up around him, loving the way you try to keep up.
"Aw she's clenching, yeah? Go on, massage my cock and cum. NOW." Keigo commands, an order which would come intertwined with punishments if you don't listen. You croak out, as you orgasm, the constant poking of your G-Spot makes you remember the familiar sensation when you squirted last time, it's so embarrassing, how you gush out at the roughness, and you find yourself doing exactly that. "Aw yes baby, yeah baby," Keigo encouraged, riding out your high as he thrusted his own load, deep into you, still continuing, the same pace, no break.
"Ngh- Ah- please- no. You- I can't." You can feel yourself squeeze down, pathetically so as another orgasm builds to betray your words.
"No no no, where'dya think you're doing Baby bird?" Keigo chuckles, laughing at your feeble attempt to run away, loving how your legs give out.
"Hmm? Want Prone bone? Oof, nasty little song bird." Keigo commented, adjusting your legs, using your tiredness to his advantage as his pelvis slaps your ass with the aggressive way his cock thrusts into you. It's akin to an actual spanking, and you tip off the edge of your delicious orgasm once more. Gritting teeth at the overpowering waves of pleasure. "Gah- can't-"
Your whimpers are paid no heed, another sticky load from Keigo creaming inside you. "That's two, got a lot more in me." Keigo warns, while you feel dizzy at the shaking way your body is being used.
He stops a little though, wanting to give you just a few more minutes before you can start giving him orgasms again, his beautiful little cock massager.
Keigo loves it, how giving you a break makes you slightly reset to be used again.
"Say you love me." He croons, almost sounding like a hurt child, though you know that persona would quickly change.
"I love you." He makes you say it so many times your own definition of the term 'love' is slightly going hazy, not accustomed to your own terms and blurring out with his.
"Gonna make you turn on your back now Little one." Keigo coos, watching you tenderly and moving again.
Oh it was going to be a long night for Hawks' mate. You only hope you'd be able to bear him on you, just as he hopes of you loving him as much as he does.
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0nlythrowharrybeaux · 4 months
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A Twist of Fate
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Y/N and Harry are exes who have moved on wit their lives and with other people, but have never stopped loving each other. And in an unbelievable twist of fate reconnect. But after all that time, can they still have a future together?
A Twist of Fate Masterlist
WARNINGS: A wee bit of emotional cheating and a steamy unfaithful make out WITH A VERY CUTE moment with the shaved head 🥹🫶
WC: 15K
To Harry, you had always been the one that got away. Your time together had been so good. You both grew and learned, and loved so much but life just got in the way. The split broke you both because you were certain that no matter what, at the end of the day it would always be you together. Learning that it wouldn’t be was devastating. 
For a while you even stopped believing in love and in the good of the universe. Because if love was real, how cruel did the universe actually have to be to tear you apart? It had been a love like neither of you had ever experienced. Your souls were alight for each other and every interaction you exchanged, every hug, every kiss, every glance, every touch fed the fire of your love and passion for each other for five wonderful years. And when the time came for it to end it was heart wrenching. There was just far too much conflict in time and distance, it sometimes felt like your managers were doing it on purpose, you both knew it wasn’t true, of course. You were just starting to reach new levels of fame and were in high demand and you couldn’t keep doing what you were doing to yourselves in trying to make it work.
So when Harry signed on to yet another film and you had gone into the studio for your album you had to reevaluate your relationship. It had to be done over the phone while there was an entire ocean between you because even though it was the wrong way to go about it, you just couldn’t look into each other’s eyes while admitting defeat. There was absolutely no way. It was hard to even breathe at first, but with time it got a bit better and better, and soon you’d met other people and were on your way to being happy like before. But that brought you to this day. After years of being broken up and never speaking or seeing each other you were both frozen in the hallway of a studio in Los Angeles looking right at each other. Time was at a standstill as you just stared for a moment. Both completely shocked at your run in. Harry’s tongue suddenly felt heavy and knotted up and his hands felt like they were prickling. He just wanted to reach out and touch you.
“Y/N, I’ve missed you.” He finally said. But you barely heard it over the obnoxiously loud pounding of your heart.
“I missed you too.” You whispered breathlessly as you looked him over. A smile came to your lips as you admired him from up close. You chuckled and shook your head because his hair was gone! And he looked great. So well rested, stronger, taller, and more youthful somehow.
“Can I hug you?” He asked and at his question you hurried into his arms, not bothering with a response. 
As soon as you touched everything felt better. The fires in your hearts were burning again because the love had never run out. If anything it got stronger with the distance somehow. But things were not as they used to be. He had a girlfriend of nearly a year now and you had just started dating someone just a couple months prior. You had been resigned to the fact that for your circumstance, love just wasn’t enough so you both moved on. The embrace was long, you were taking your time in his arms and he was taking in your scent. How he missed the sweet and inviting smell that wafted around you like a cloud. It seemed like it had been too soon when you started pulling back from his hold, but he willed himself to loosen his grip to give you the space to depart from him.
“Your hair!” You smiled brightly and he chuckled.
“I know…After the tour ended it just felt like the end of an era, you know? Time for a big change.” He smiled through his explanation and you nodded in understanding.
“Yeah, I get that. I love it! It looks great!” You complimented as you looked him over once more.
“Yeah?” He asked timidly and you nodded quickly. He knew he didn’t need your approval, but having it made him feel even better about his decision.
“How long are you in town?” You asked, your hands slid down his arms from around his neck and landed in his. Feeling your soft and warm skin meeting his own had his mind going fuzzy. He could feel his heart reaching out to you with how hard it pounded.
“I uh- I leave tomorrow. I just had a quick thing I needed to take care of. Was only here a few days.” He said and you felt a lump forming in your throat. Gone so soon…a tease of fate.
“Oh.” You responded and he nodded, a sad smile came over his face.
“Yeah.” He squeezed your hands a bit harder, “Ummm, I’m at the Roosevelt. In the Marylin Monroe suite. Maybe we can grab dinner tonight, around 8?” He asked hopefully and you frowned. The universe was heartless and cruel, it was confirmed.
“I actually can’t tonight, Harry. I have plans with my…” you trailed off before shifting your gaze down to the buttons of his shirt. They were all done up now, unlike before, when he barely bothered after the third one up.
“Someone you’re seeing?” He asked and you nodded, not able to look at him as you confirmed.
“Sorry.” You said, finally looking back into his eyes.
“I’m not- I mean, it’s alright. That you’re, you know, putting yourself out there.” He put on a smile that didn’t reach his eyes.
“Yeah?” You asked and he nodded. You were holding onto each other for dear life, “I’m happy I ran into you, though. I missed you. Been thinking about you lately as well.” You said again through a small smile.
“I’m really happy I got to see you too.” He confirmed through his own smile; it was definitely genuine this time.
“Well, I should get going and let you get to the studio.” You said and he nodded.
“Right. C’mere.” He said pulling you back in for a hug. This time you inhaled his own warm, musky, and familiar scent as his warmth settled into your own body. “Take good care of yourself.” He mumbled to you before kissing the side of your head.
“You too, H.” You hummed before you let go and you continued down the hall. You stopped and turned back to see that he was still standing there, watching you leave and you smiled, planting a kiss to your palm and pretending like you threw it at him and he smiled brightly as he pretended he caught it and pressed his palm to his heart and you waved before you left the building.
************
“You seem distracted.” Caitlyn, your best friend, pointed out as she glanced over from her desk to you, sitting across from her, just staring out the window behind her.
“I know, I’m sorry…I don’t think I’ll be much help for brainstorming right now.” You said and Caitlyn frowned.
“What happened?”
“I was doing Seb the favor of dropping off a demo of a new song to his producer and on my way out I ummm…H-harry was there.” You said and Caitlyn’s eyes went wide.
“What the hell? I thought he was in London!” She gasped.
“He will be tomorrow. S’his last night.” You explained.
“Are you alright?” She asked you right away.
“I think so…he invited me to dinner at his hotel, but I have plans with Seb tonight so I can’t.”
“Well maybe it’s for the best, friend. I mean…I know how it was with you guys and like, I know you’re both good people, but maybe it wouldn’t be the wisest thing to have dinner with him at his hotel. Alone.” Caitlyn reasoned and you nodded.
“Yeah, I think you’re right…I mean, besides, he has a girlfriend too so best not to do something platonic that could seem sketchy."
“Exactly.” Caitlyn concurred. “Well, are you feeling OK? Did it bring anything up for you?”
“Just a little sadness… nostalgia? I mean, we put in so much work, you know? I swear we were endgame.” You said quietly with some disappointment.
“Yeah…did he seem happy?”
“I guess? I didn’t ask really. I don’t want to know…” you sighed, “Buzzed his head though.” You smiled and Caitlyn gasped audibly.
“No way!” She laughed in disbelief.
“Yeah! It’s a different look, but he looks really good. It suits him more than I would expect.” You chuckled and then fell silent for a few seconds.
“Y/N, do you still…have feelings for him?” Caitlyn asked carefully and you sighed.
“Think I’ll always have feelings for him…” you said lowly. “Like, it’s Harry!” You said and Caitlyn pouted and nodded in understanding. “It was definitely nice to see him though, even if it was fast.”
“Well maybe it’s good that it was a brief run in. Didn’t have to linger and talk about things that would make you both even more sad.” Caitlyn suggested.
“Maybe I need to be more sad…like I’ve been in a bit of a slump writing-wise…” you said.
“Use this sad, Y/N. The nostalgia, the not knowing, the wondering, you really don’t need more than that.” Caitlyn said and you sighed, “And don’t google him. Or his girlfriend.” She warned and you cackled.
“Of course not! I’m not you.” you quipped with a teasing grin.
“Look, cyberstalking is a necessary evil sometimes.”
“I can’t agree with that statement.” You chuckled.
“Just because you suck at it…” Caitlin sassed.
“I don’t think internet stalking is a skill to be proud of, Cait.” You giggled.
“Look, all I know is that one day, my skills will come in handy.” She said simply and you knocked your head back as you laughed at your best friend’s nonsense.
*************
Harry had not been able to stop thinking about you since the afternoon. He had made a quick detour to LA to meet with some of his producers. He was planning to take a bit of a longer break to focus on other projects and passions and just live for himself a little bit. He was just outlining a plan for his next album since he had already renewed his contract.
In truth, he was glad that he had been able to tour when he did because you had just ended things. He just went right into entertain mode and got so much out of his system. But being back on the road, meeting new people, putting himself back out there, it helped a lot. And then the one thing he thought wasn’t possible happened. He met someone else and he moved on. He felt that he had moved into it quite fast as they’d only been friends for a month or so, but they’d been together almost a year now and it was going well. Was he happy? He was. Wasn’t he?
Obviously, he knew he’d eventually see you but he wasn’t ready for it now. It wasn’t the best time because while he’d moved on, you still had an effect on him. He still dreamt of you sometimes. He still felt butterflies in his stomach when he thought of you, even now when he remembered how you had hugged him. He loved the way your fingers felt as you skimmed them down his arms before you could hold his hands just for a moment. You looked so good too…you’d always opted for shorter hair, to the shoulders or a bit less, but it was longer now, it suited you. Your eyes were bright and your smile just as warm and inviting as it had always been. He would be lying if he said that his heart didn’t skip a beat when he saw you. But being in your presence like that, it suddenly felt like no time had passed at all. 
He felt kind of stupid for asking you to dinner…in hindsight it was good that you were busy. To be alone with you while his heart and tummy were doing all these weird and fluttery things that they did every time he was around you, that couldn’t be a great idea.
The hardest thing to get over was that he loved how he felt around you, it was magical. Your energies matched so well. What you had together had was unmatched, there wasn’t anyone who had brought that same feeling to him before or now. You cared for him in ways that made him feel seen and understood as a person, the whole of him, good and bad…he had no idea how you did it, but it just came so naturally from you. Your ability to relate and communicate and accept other people as they were was innate and he missed that about you. He missed how easy it was to receive the kind of love and care that you gave and that he needed. Not that he wasn’t feeling cared for now, he definitely was, but it wasn’t the same as with you of course…no one was you. He snapped out of his thoughts when his phone started ringing loudly, cutting off the music he was running to.
“Hey man, what’s up?” He greeted Jeffrey who was on the other line.
“Hey H, how’d the meeting go?”
“Good. We set a schedule for the next couple of things so that’s squared away.”
“Excellent.” Jeffrey hummed, “Look man, I know you’re supposed to be taking off tomorrow but someone reached out to me from A24 about a possible Bowie bio pic. They’re really interested in talking to you about it.”
“I don’t know, Jeff…”
“I told them you might not be interested, but they were really insistent that you’d be great for the role and just wanted to pick your brain a bit. You definitely don’t have to commit to anything yet, they just want to talk to you about it.” He said and he hummed pensively.
“When’s the meeting?”
“They said Thursday of next week. They have this like vision board and a script they want to have you look over and whatnot.”
“Can it be sooner?”
“Nope. The director is on some remote site for another project now and will be back in town on Thursday.” Harry sighed upon hearing this.
“Fuck…fine. I’ll wait it out then. Can you get me another room then? I still have to check out of here tomorrow.”
“Yeah man, I’ll take care of it now and send the details over, alright?”
“Sounds good. Talk soon.”
“Yep, love you man. Bye.”
“Love ya’. Bye.” Harry said and then hung up.
Honestly, Harry had no interest in doing this film, he was certain they could get someone else, someone far better in his opinion. And he’d definitely watch it, but right now he had every interest in staying longer and getting to see you again. As reckless as it might be to see you with all of these feelings brewing in him, it was a need. It brought him back to old times, where even when you’d be busy, you’d do reckless things like stay extra days in a country just to be able to cross paths while you both worked. Or fly from one end of the US to the other just to have dinner…it was kind of an awful habit to just do things like that on a whim, but he felt that he could handle this. After all, old habits die hard and indulging in something that reminded him of how in love he was, despite the struggles, it was worth remembering.
***********
All throughout dinner so far you had been thinking of Harry. How maybe you should’ve made an alternate plan to see him after dinner. Like maybe grab coffee, or a glass of wine, perhaps visit your favorite ice cream shop…but you halted yourself when it got to the ice cream because that would be far too special for just a catch up. That’s the place you realized you were in love with him and surely the resurgence of those feelings would be strong, to say the least. 
“What’s going on, babe?” Sebastian asked you and you huffed.
“Just had a weird day.” You explained as you played with your food a bit more, hoping that your appetite would increase.
“Why’s that?”
“I ummm… I saw Harry.” You decided to just tell him straight up.
Sebastian had been someone you’d known for a while, ever since you were starting out. You would semi-frequently run into each other at open mic nights, karaoke bars, talent shows, scouting shows. You weren’t close friends or anything deep, you just had drinks with the other few people who were nice and chill and struggling to get their big break. Luckily, yours came quite swiftly and then you were out of that scene. He’d never gotten your number, but when you made it and your first song went #1 he did send you a fan letter, as he had no other way to reach you. And he was so happy for you and proud of you, and you reached out. That’s when you learned he was in talks with a label then too. He gave you his number and you started catching up a bit and then Harry happened and you friend zoned him (according to him, you had never really been interested like that). Once you got with Harry you were MIA for a bit, you just didn’t know who you could trust at the start since Harry was far more famous and super private about everything, understandably so. 
But then, Harry met all your friends, Seb included, and he saw how you were with Harry and he let go of whatever hope he had that you two could be together. He had shared that with you a bit after you’d gotten together. He just couldn’t believe that after dating someone as big as Harry you’d give him a chance. But in all fairness, anyone who had experienced you and Harry together could tell you how palpable your love was. How intense and dedicated you were to each other for the near five years you spent together. Lots of conversations started with a “When you guys get married…” and you wouldn’t bat an eye. Of course you wanted to get married and have a life together. All this to say that Sebastian knew what it meant or could mean for you to see Harry again. He had been there for all of it and now he was a bit scared…
“Today?” He asked and you nodded.
“Well, it was more of a running into type of situation than a deliberate seeing each other.” You explained.
“I see. Where?”
“At the studio. I was on my way out as he was coming in for something.”
“Are you okay?”
“I think so…I’m just…I don’t know, it brought up a lot of shit, you know?”
“I can imagine.”
“So that’s why I’m a bit…weird. I just…I don’t know. Like I saw him and I missed him, you know?”
“And does he miss you?”
“He said he does.” You shrugged, “I mean, I told him about you, so it wasn’t like that.” You emphasized, “But yeah, I just wasn’t expecting that.” He mumbled.
“I’m sorry.” He said reaching his hand out for yours and you took it as you glanced down to watch your hands connect.
“It’s fine.” 
“How long is he in town?”
“He leaves tomorrow morning. Asked me to dinner, that’s when I brought you up and said we had plans.” You smiled at him and he smirked.
“Oh wow…I mean, I would’ve understood if you ditched me for thee Harry Styles. But I appreciate you choosing to keep our plans.” He said with a slightly smug and victorious grin.
“Of course, babe.” You assured him with a smile.
But that didn’t mean that mentally you weren’t sitting across from Harry at the Roosevelt having an equally nice glass of wine and catching up over what the last couple years apart had been like for you.
*************
Harry very seldom used social media, especially for celebrity gossip purposes, but he found himself hunched over the table in his bedroom eating dinner alone while typing up your name in the Instagram search bar and going to the tags. Much like his, your instagram was now for professional use, so he knew there wouldn’t be anything personal to find there so he didn’t bother with your profile, hashtags were where it was at. And as soon as the page loaded, an avalanche of images came up. He went to the first one and it was a fan video, secretly taken of course, of you over dinner with your boyfriend. Sebastian?
“You’re dating Sebastian? That Hozier rip off? Really?!” He muttered to himself bitterly.
He watched the clip replay a few times.You two were clearly talking about something a bit serious as you weren’t smiling at first. But then he reached for your hand and you took it and smiled. He selfishly hoped you were talking about him just then… 
of course, he would hate it if someone took videos of him like that at a private dinner, but he now understood why people did it. It was better than just seeing it with your own two eyes. This was forever. He could sit there all night and watch as your lips slowly turned up towards the end and smiled at him. He could watch your hand reaching out to touch Sebastian’s. He could sit there and theorize about where this conversation was going…it could just be a serious topic of conversation, an amicable break up, some good news… Crumbs. That’s all these things were, just crumbs. He scrolled a bit and got to some other photos and videos of Sebastian at your shows, you at his shows, out and about…it was making his stomach twist up with jealousy and regret. 
Harry didn’t find that he got jealous much anymore, he felt more secure in himself and in his relationships, he had matured, a lot of things went into that. But a part of his heart would always belong to you and seeing you sharing your affection with someone else, it made him sick to his stomach. He scrolled down further, hoping to see something about you two but there was only disappointment. 
When you were together he was so fucking paranoid that the public would ruin what you had that there was no PDA, everything was so clandestine…you’d been papped alone a few times walking around together, at events, and a few other mundane situations but not like what you had with Sebastian over the last couple months. There were no pictures of you two holding hands, or smiling at each other the way you often did when you were alone or with trusted friends and family. There were no videos of you kissing in the corner of a dark party or side stage at a show…and whatever videos you had with each other…well, those had to go in case any of you ever got hacked or something. He did have a few pictures, but they were in his albums at home and probably scanned into a USB or something similar and it was just lying around collecting dust somewhere. He tried searching you two up and yeah, nothing. Just the couple things he knew of.
“Fucking ridiculous…” he mumbled with his mouth full as he went back to stalking you and Sebastian just a little bit longer. Sebastian had you all over his page; sure he was verified but he was still a smaller artist when compared to him or you, so he could afford to show a bit of his private life without people losing their heads over it.
Harry stopped when he started getting sad and also when a text from Tay came in responding to his news of his change of travel plans. Then he felt bad for lying, for staying longer than he needed to. But the sooner he went back home, the sooner he could forget all about you and what was and immerse himself in the world he lived in now. But then, the sooner he left the sooner he’d be without you close by. The sooner he’d be breathing someone else’s air…sure, there were millions of people in LA, but knowing that you were one of them did things to him.
…. A FEW DAYS LATER ….
If there was one thing you hated to do that Caitlyn loved to do, it was work out. You’d always been a bit lazy for it and did the bare minimum you could get away with. which was still excessive in your opinion, especially when you’d go with Caitlyn. One of her friends, Melissa, had invited the two of you to her friend’s new pilates studio and well, that was one of your hard limits. Barre and Pilates both were! Like what kind of sick fuck can bend that way? Is what you constantly thought to yourself as you’d literally have to have someone hold your body in certain positions to complete the routine.
Since Melissa knew Ilse, the owner of the studio, you were working out in a private studio, which you were eternally grateful for just to spare you from embarrassment at the very least. The last thing you wanted was to become an internet meme because you somehow got tangled up in a pilates machine.
“Alright, great form ladies and just hold a few more seconds…” Ilse hummed to you all. She was sweet to encourage you as if she weren’t currently holding you in position.
“What is going on out there? It’s getting loud.” Melissa pointed out, which made Ilse, turn as well.
“I’m going to go check it out.” She said releasing you from your position before rushing out of the smaller studio.
“Thank fuck.” You sighed as you just left your legs in the suspenders you’d been in for that position Ilse had you in.
“How you holding up?” Caitlyn asked with a grin.
“This is…terrible.” You confessed and you all laughed a bit. “Who wants to leave and feel like a wet noodle for three days after?” You whined.
“It feels great! I love the soreness.” Melissa said and you scoffed.
“You’re insane.” You said to Melissa.
“I am. Clinically.” She agreed and you laughed again at her joke. You was just laying there, legs still suspended in the air, at least this way you were getting good circulation. But mostly because you were afraid to move with how sore you already felt after just a half an hour of pilates. Then Ilse came back in capturing their attention.
“Harry Styles is here.” She said and this made Caitlyn turn to you quickly. You then attempted to sit up properly, “He’s gonna do his thing in here too so that no one bugs him.” she explained. You were still fighting to get up from your laying position with your legs suspended above you. Finally you got your foot out of the fucking loop and were trying to get the other one out before he came in, “Y/N, be careful.” Ilse warned as she started to make her way over to help. But she paused when the door opened behind her and in came Harry in a gray, long sleeve shirt and some tiny, navy blue shorts. You swallow thickly and pulled harder on the cable.
“Ilse, thank you so much for letting me join-” A small shriek interrupted Harry as he came into the private studio. They all saw you fall out of the machine and they hurried over and huddled above you. And there you were on the ground, one of your feet still stuck in the loop of the cable, leaving it extended high above the rest of your body. How humiliating… Your eyes met his and you saw as he rolled his lips together to prevent his laughter from spilling out. You’d always had an aversion to exercising as he recalled.
“Oh my god! Are you OK?!” Ilse asked you. And then you were bursting into laughter, causing Ilse’s shoulders to lose their tension. 
When your eyes met his again as you laughed he sputtered on his own laughter before it just spilled out of him and then your friends laughed along at your mishap as well. Harry was quick to step up and help you get your foot free and then Ilse helped you up.
“Thank you.” You said to Ilse and Harry with a warm face and bashful smile.
“Of course. Do you need ice or something?” Ilse asked and you shook her head.
“I’m fine. I’ll just sit the rest out. Do some free weights.”
“Real convenient, missy.” Caitlyn mumbled and you grinned. Harry soon greeted Caitlyn and then properly greeted Melissa.
“So how do you guys know each other?” She asked the three of you.
“Just industry friends.” You said quickly with a decisive nod and Harry glanced at you. Your eyes averted to Cailtyn’s who just looked to Harry after a few seconds.
“Cool, well let’s keep going then.” Ilse suggested. Since you had decided to just do some free wights across the room Harry took your spot as Ilse guided them through the rest of the routine. 
Harry was stealing glances. Not that you weren’t, but you were far more subtle about it. He couldn’t help it though. He knew her body just as well as he knew his own. And just watching you move was bringing back so many memories. He’s the one that discovered you had a birthmark right near the crook of your inner thigh. He’s the person who discovered that you had a group of freckles and beauty marks on your mid back that almost resembled the entire Orion constellation. He’s the person who knew that you hated that one of your boobs was “much smaller” than the other. He thought they were pretty symmetrical, but whatever. He knew every scar you had. He knew each tattoo, he’d been there for many of them. He knew that there was this one eyelash you had that always grew in a little crooked and he’d always help you pluck it out after you’d beg and beg because it ruined your mascara. He knew the shape you liked to pluck your eyebrows in. He knew the shape of your lips and the shade of your eyes. He knew everything there was to know about you. 
So yeah, he was looking and remembering all the little things about you that made you the beautiful, smart, talented, and unique person that you were. He hadn’t allowed himself to love and obsess over anyone like that ever again, it took too much out of him. Just you. 
“I thought you were supposed to leave a few days ago?” Caitlyn said. And well, if Caitlyn knew this, that meant you had talked about her to him.
“Something came up. Have another meeting on Thursday. S’for a film, the director isn’t back in town until then.” He elaborated.
“Ooh what film?”
“A possible Bowie biopic.” He said and she looked impressed.
“Nice. Are you interested in the project?” She asked just as you bent over to grab your water bottle and Harry got a little lost for a moment. 
He barely heard a word Caitlyn had said, he just watched you shamelessly. God, he missed that perfect, little body of yours. Seeing as Caitlyn was facing the mirror while she talked to him, she could see your reflection and obviously, what Harry was staring at. She loved you and Harry together, but the logistics were kind of fucked and you were stretching yourselves so thin, it was unhealthy. You hadn’t ended things because you weren’t in love; in fact, you were so in love that you couldn’t do that to each other anymore. You had tried to wait it out, but it was exhausting you two to degrees that just was a bit irresponsible for some of the biggest stars on the planet, so you went your own ways.
“She’s happy, you know?” Caitlyn said quietly and Harry’s eyes flickered away from you to hers. He sighed and nodded.
“I know.” He said, “With Sebastian?”
“She told you it was him?” Caitlyn asked. Harry had always been a little wary around Sebastian because it was fairly obvious to him that he had a thing for you. He never tried anything and was always respectful, but just that jealousy he felt over you was palpable. And it would make Harry be on high alert when you guys was around him.
“No. I had to…fucking look it up.” He admitted with slight irritation. Caitlyn snorted quietly on a laugh causing him to shoot her a glare. “Shut up.” He mumbled with a bashful smile as he smacked her with his towel on the leg.
“Ew! Unsanitary!” She scoffed through her sniggers.
“Fuck you, I haven’t even used it yet.” He chuckled. When their little fit died down she got serious again.
“You seem happy too.” 
“I…I am.” He nodded once, “But it’s her. She’s…” he trailed off as he glanced at you again, “She was it for me, you know?” He said with some sadness. “I don’t know…I just…wasn’t prepared to see her yet.” 
“That’s what she said too. Maybe it’ll always be that way? Like you guys had something extraordinary. It was special, some real soul mate shit, you know? Of course it’s going to be hard to get over. I literally thought that was all BS until I saw how you guys were together.” She said and he smiled.
“Yeah.” He agreed.
“What do you want?”
“To just be around her.” He said and she hummed.
“Then be friends.” Caitlyn suggested and he immediately shook his head.
“I couldn’t…like I’m happy for her, but I don’t want to see it in my face. And I’m sure she feels the same about that. Seeing each other have everything we had and more? No way.”
“Then…I don’t know, Harry.”
“Can you just ask her i-if we could grab a coffee or talk or something?”
“Why don’t you ask her?”
“Because she’ll say no.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I do.” He said, “What if she thinks I’m just trying to…to make her doubt or something?”
“She knows you’d never hurt her and you know she’d never hurt you.”
“I know, but what if…”
“What if you guys do something stupid like cheat?” Caitlin asked bluntly and he nodded. “Well then that’s up to you guys.” she said simply, “I did tell her it was probably good that she couldn’t have dinner with you the other night…I could see something happen during a moment of weakness. All that attraction and love you guys still have for each other…I mean, I can’t see either of you walking away without someone getting hurt if you’re not overly cautious. Maybe it’s a temptation or maybe it’s what needs to happen to open that door again…I don’t know, H. But if you do want to see her again just be careful with your hearts and those of the others you’re involved with now.” She admonished and he nodded.
“You’re right.” He said and glanced down at his knees instead of at you. “I don’t want to fuck anything up for her.”
“And what about you?”
“I’m already fucked.” He chuckled breathily with sadness in his eyes.
************
When their session was over you all said their goodbyes. Harry headed back into the locker rooms to have a shower though, so he didn’t walk out with you three. You had gone to have some breakfast at Melissa’s house and were in the middle of eating when your phone pinged. When you picked it up from the table you saw “Harry” on the text notification and you locked it and set it down with a pounding heart. Caitlyn looked to you with a knowing glance and you sighed and went back to your food. Melissa was cool, she was an influencer who was dabbling in TV, which is how she met Caitlyn. But you weren’t really personal friends with her yet so you didn’t feel like bringing Harry up right now. You could talk to Caitlyn about it on your way home.
As soon as you were in the car you looked at his text and smiled at the screen. Harry was sweet, a bit of an over-thinker, but you loved that about him. He was thoughtful of how he wanted to be perceived and how he came across.
“Did he ask to see you?” Caitlyn asked and you nodded and locked your phone before taking off. You sat in silence for just a few minutes before Caitlyn turned to you. “So what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know.” You confessed. “If I see him…alone…” you sighed, “s’just that after seeing him I realized I still feel too much for him.” You explained. “I don’t want to fuck things up with Seb or hurt him in any way.  Like you know that I care about him. So much. But this is Harry, you know? Do you think Seb’ll understand if I want to meet up with Harry?” You asked and Caitlyn sighed.
“Girl, I don’t know…but after speaking a bit with Harry I don’t know if it’s a good idea.” She said and you frowned.
“What did he say?” You couldn’t help but ask.
“He’s just…hanging on by a thread I think.” She said and you frowned. “Like you’re both in relationships, good ones, that seem to make you guys happy. And I mean…you guys are each other’s weakness, you know? And I care about you both so much and I don’t want you to accidentally do something that you’ll regret and hate yourselves for. Like I get it, you miss each other, but would tempting fate fix things or make them worse?” She asked and you sighed.
“You’re right. You’re so right.” You agreed.
“He knows you’re with Sebastian.” Caitlyn said and you turned to her for a moment with confusion.
“How?”
“He was looking you up online or something is what he said.” Upon hearing that you giggled and Caitlyn started to chuckle as well. Before you knew it, you were both laughing hard at how crazy that was. Him scouring the internet to find information about you? “If Harry internet lurks you can too. You’re missing out…” Caitlyn said after your laughing spell had died down.
“Yeah, no thanks. I have some dignity.” You grinned and Caitlyn rolled her eyes. 
**************
Harry waited and waited. And waited well into the night for Y/N to respond to his text. He had no idea if you’d even read it. Maybe you had changed your number and he’d texted someone else by mistake. He was getting antsy, he was only in town for four more days. So he did a double text, just to verify that it was still your number and when no response came after another 10 minutes he just settled against his pillows and pulled out the book he had brought along with him. He wasn’t even hungry anymore after that disappointment.
**************
Sebastian had come over to your house for dinner at the last minute and now you were just washing up your dishes from that when he came into the kitchen glowering at you.
“What the matter?” You asked with some concern and he brought your phone up to your face so that you could see what had him so upset. You pouted a bit when you read Harry’s second text, he was just asking if it was still your number. You felt bad for leaving him on read now.
“You saw him again today and he asked you out again?” Sebastian asked with irritation. He had every right to be irritated without context, but the explanation would easily appease his anger.
“I didn’t plan to see him. Me and the girls were at pilates and he showed up at that studio. I have no control over where he goes! What was I supposed to do? Leave?” You asked him and he sighed, “The trainer had him come work out in the studio with us because people were flocking him. But when he came over I even left to do strength training instead. Ask Caitlyn! I didn’t even talk to him!” You said quickly as he searched your eyes. The fear and panic in them made him doubt you. “He just wants to catch up.” You said as he set your phone down on the counter with a sigh.
“I want to believe you but-”
“Then believe me, Sebastian!” You said with exasperation as you shut the water off and took off the rubber gloves you were wearing. “The evidence is there on my phone. I haven’t even answered him!” You pointed out and he sighed.
“Why is he so determined of doing this? Doesn’t he have a girlfriend to hang out with?” 
“It’s just…a lot seeing each other after so long. He probably just wants to reconnect and be friends? Maybe if I just talk to him-”
“I don’t want you talking to him, Y/N.” Sebastian said and you frowned. “I don’t trust him and I don’t like how pushy he’s being about this.”
“He’s not being pushy…” you sighed.
“He is! You left him on read and he doesn’t take the fucking hint.” Sebastian argued.
“Well maybe if I just respond and explain that you’re not comfortable with us meeting up alone then he’ll-”
“Oh, don’t put this on me.” Sebastian cut you off.
“Well you’re the one who’s upset over this, Seb. I honestly wasn’t even going to respond to him!”
“If you’re not going to respond just delete the message and block the number.” He insisted, handing your phone over. You frowned as you glanced down at it in your hands and then up at him.
“No, Seb. I’m not blocking him for no real reason!” You pushed back.
“Your boyfriend being upset over it is a real reason, Y/N. He wants you back! Why can’t you see that?” He groaned in frustration.
“No, he doesn’t. He just wants to talk and catch up!” You countered.
“Well I don’t care what he wants, Y/N. I don’t want you to see him. I forbid it!” He put his foot down and you scoffed. 
“You forbid it? What the fuck? Who are you to tell me who I can and can’t see in my free time, Seb? I think I’ve respected you and our relationship by leaving it and not answering him. I even told you when I first saw him-”
“Only because I asked! And now again, you see him and don’t say anything about it until I see these texts!”
“One sided texts!” You added and he shook his head.
“I waited my turn and I chose to be with you, Y/N. And right now you need to choose me back.” He said and you sighed as you started growing anxious and frustrated.
“I’m with you, Seb! I already chose you! There’s nothing for me to choose right now! You’re the one putting Harry in the middle of us right now.” You argued.
“You’re honestly telling me that if he says he wants you back you wouldn’t hesitate to choose me over him? You’d just tell him to fuck off?” He asked and you frowned.
“That’s… that’s a silly thing to think. Why are you even arguing hypotheticals, Seb? This will get us nowhere-”
“Tell me, now. Who would you choose, Y/N?” He insisted more seriously and you shook your head.
“I’m not playing this stupid game with you, Seb.” You said as you crossed your arms. Holding your position.
“You refusing to make a choice over this speaks fucking volumes, Y/N.” He said with disappointment before he stormed out of the kitchen. You took a second to let your mind try and catch up with how all of this went south so quickly. Once you were up to speed you hurried over to the front door where he was sliding his feet into his shoes.
“Where are you going?” You asked him with welled up eyes and he refused to answer you. “Sebastian!” You raised your voice.
“I’m done.” He seethed, finally responding to you, “I’m done playing second fiddle to him, Y/N.” He said pointedly before leaving your place with a loud thud of the door slamming. 
You groaned into your hands and your tears started rolling down your cheeks. You were so fucking angry at him and at Harry…it was making you boil over as you returnedd to the kitchen and grabbed your phone and called him. He didn’t pick up, you tried again after a few moments and it went straight to voicemail. You were so angry at him you almost threw your phone at the wall. But before you could, you decided to make another call, this one to Harry.
“Y/N?” He answered almost right away and before you could berate him for his texts you started to sniffle, “Hey? What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” He asked softly. His voice was drenched with concern.
“Seb saw your texts and I think he just broke up with me.” You whimpered as more tears started to fall. You started to sob a bit harder and just dropped yourself on the couch. Harry felt awful…he hadn’t meant to stir up trouble for you, he just missed you.
“I’m so sorry. I don’t think I said anything bad or suspicious.” He apologized.
“You didn’t. He just thinks you’re…trying to get me back. He asked me to block you and I said no because that’s stupid. We’re fucking grown ups, you know?”
“Yeah.” He hummed as he listened.
“And he…he asked me if you wanted to get back together with me, if I would I choose him over you.” You said and he bit his lip.
“What’d you say?”
“I didn’t say anything! I told him he was being ridiculous for bring up hypotheticals like that. Like what would we gain from that, you know? And he got more angry and said that not choosing was basically choosing…”
“I see how he came to that conclusion. I mean…it makes it seem like…he wouldn’t like the choice you’d make.” He explained.
“Well it’s not like that! I just…I don’t know, Harry.” You said before gasping for air as you started to cry harder. Harry wished he could be there to hold you and tell you everything would be fine. He’d just let you get it out for a little bit.
“I’m really sorry for stirring up trouble for you, love.” Harry apologized with full sincerity. 
“It’s alright.” You whispered as your crying diminished.
“It’s not…I should’ve taken the fucking hint. I just miss you and want to spend time with you before I go. I was upset that you didn’t answer me after this morning. I should’ve just left it alone and-”
“I miss you too, H.” You cut him off. You sniffled as you just stared up at the ceiling. “Fucking ridiculous amounts.” You added and he smiled.
“Me too.” He agreed.
“I’m sorry for not responding to you. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. S’just that after talking to Caitlyn about it I just got a little…scared I guess. Like…what if we like have a moment of weakness and do something fucked up and-”
“Love, no.” he responded even if he had the same fear as her.
“Is is that crazy to think about? We obviously still share a lot of feelings for each other and I would hate to…to mess anything up for you if I…if I’m not strong enough.” You explained.
“If anyone’s not strong enough here it’s me.” He said and you smiled, “God…like…I don’t know if wanting to see you is wrong or not and I don’t care. All I know is that you mean a lot to me and I’ve missed you.”
“Enough to lurk me on the internet?” You asked with a smile and he sighed.
“Fucking Caitlyn…” he chuckled and you laughed. “So pathetic.” Muttered lowly.
“S’not…” you appeased him.
“So you’ve done it too?” He asked hopefully.
“No way.” You said quickly and he chuckled, “It’s not because I’m not curious I just…I don’t want t-to see you with her.” You admitted and a silence came over you two for several moments as the information settled. “And well, it’s not even about her really, it’s just…you I guess.” You confessed, “It’s such an ugly feeling.” You explained with a frown, “It makes my stomach hurt and it makes me annoyed and my chest feels heavy and like-”
“You get jealous.” He said and you sighed. You’d never been of the jealous kind. Specially not with Harry, you knew that even God would have to kill one of you to keep you apart. There was no chance of straying from each other. So this feeling festering inside of you was absolutely foreign to you and you never wanted it again. You’d seen a photo of them briefly on some gossip website when a friend had sent a link about some crazy rumor they’d written about you. It was a suggestion for another article read at the bottom of the article about you. The photo above the title was of them two, you only saw it quickly before you closed out of the tab, never wanting to see it again. But god, it was truly such an ugly feeling. You literally felt it growing out of your heart and infecting your…you’d been moody the rest of that day; it was awful.
“Yeah, I guess I do…feel jealous.” You admitted and he bit his lip for a second.
“While I was lurking instagram the other day? I saw a video of you and Sebastian kissing at some concert of his. At the side of the stage?” He said.
“Yeah?” You asked and he sighed.
“Yep. I-it made me so…mad. Like a helpless kind of mad. And then sad.” He said and you frowned, “It made me sad because we didn’t have that. I hate that I kept you so hidden…I should’ve been less afraid of the public, of the fans, of all the external bullshit that fucks with my head. I wish people could’ve see how happy we were. Wish they could’ve see how much we love each other.” He said and you felt your stomach flip when he said that. He didn’t say “how much we loved each other”, he said “love”, present tense, as in right now. It felt good to hear but it also scared you because you realized that you too were hanging on by a thread.
“You know, I kinda love that it’s just between us. Like back then it was tough to hide like that, but now I appreciate it more. I felt…safe and protected and normal when we were together, you know?”
“Yeah, that’s true.” He hummed. “Do you ever think about us?” He asked meekly.
“Of course I do. A lot of the time…” you said with a smile. “Like early last year, Seb opened for someone at the Forum and he like…fell in love with it.”
“Rightfully so, s’the perfect venue.” He said and you hummed.
“Literally. So he bought us club passes and we went to see John Mayer like a few months later and we had the same exact seats that we had for Elton John. Remember?”
“Oh, god…do I…” he laughed and you started to laugh as well. “And Jeffrey had to get them to delete the video of us sneaking into the family bathroom, remember?” He started chuckling.
“Oh, I remember.” You giggled. 
“At least we was fast…”
“We weren’t. We were in there for almost half an hour.” You pointed out.
“Were we?” He asked in shock and you laughed.
“Yeah! You said you wanted to to enjoy it or something like that. And when I said we should go home then you said-”
“And miss Elton John?” He cut her off and you laughed as you nodded.
“Literally, you paused, mid-fuck. Like mid thrust, Harry.” You cackled as he laughed loudly over the line, “As if we weren’t already missing the best bits anyway…” you said and he smiled as the laughter died down. “I’d never done anything in public like that before.” You said, “You tainted me.” You joked.
“Yeah, you tell yourself that. Whatever helps you sleep at night, love.” He chuckled and bit his lip as he recalled how you were biting down on his shirt to contain your sounds. He had no idea what had gotten into him that night, all he recalls is the you were wearing this perfume that was so intoxicating, he just wanted to be buried against your neck. Kissing you, inhaling that sweet and warm scent that made his head spin. He was touching you in some way the whole fucking time until he sneakily brought his fingers up your skirt and touched you over her underwear slowly until you were drenched for him. He shifted a bit when he felt his cock hardening up in his sweats at the memory of what happened afterwards in that bathroom.
“OK, thanks…just a funny little story to lighten up the mood.” You said and he hummed.
“I want to see you.” He said decidedly and you bit your lip.
“I don’t know if we should, H.”
“Right now. Just FaceTime.” He said and you shot up.
“Harry, no…I’m all snotty and shit-”
“Well if we’re not going to see each other in person before I go at least like this. Please, love.” He said and you sighed as you wiped your eyes a bit before the request to FaceTime came in and you accepted and seconds later there you were. Face to face. You stayed quiet for a few moments, just looking at each other, the air was tense with all of the thoughts and feeling being left unsaid.
“I do want to see you.” You said, finally breaking the silence and he hummed. He was in bed, his free arm was pulled back, supporting his head and he was clearly topless from what you could see. 
“Yeah?” He smiled.
“Of course. I just…feel like it’s asking for trouble.”
“Why?” He chuckled.
“Because! I mean, look at you just now.” You said with a giggle and he glanced down a bit and smirked.
“How do you think I felt today at the gym?”
“I was working out!”
“And I’m just laying in bed.” He responded simply. 
“This is bad, H.”
“What is?” He chuckled.
“The way I’m…looking at you and thinking about you.” You said softly.
“And what way is that?” He asked and you shook her head bashfully as he smiled a bit, “It’s not like I’m not thinking the same things about you…” He responded and you bit your lip nervously. “Earlier today I was remembering how I found your birthmark.” He said with a placid smile.
“Didn’t even know it was there…”
“You’re welcome by the way.” He hummed and you rolled her eyes at him playfully. “When did you move out of your flat?” He asked changing the subject. He just assumed as he didn’t recognize your surroundings.
“Last year. Finally could afford a house. S’small for the area, three bedrooms. Very English cottage/craftsman style, original architecture. Obviously, the inside is renovated, but the external structure is in great shape.” You described and he smiled. “It reminded me of the houses in the country we saw when we visited your family together up north? The ones with the brick exteriors.” You said and he nodded and smiled, “It has a lovely front garden…there are tons of windows so the sun shines in nearly all afternoon. And the garage was turned into like a studio apartment and I’m planning to renovate it into a little music studio once I save up enough.”
“That sounds really nice. So where are you at now?” He asked.
“West Hollywood west.” You said and his eyes widened.
“No way. Dude, I am like down the street from you right now.” He chuckled and you smiled.
“Oh! Really?”
“Yeah. I couldn’t extend my stay at the Roosevelt so Jeffrey moved me to the SLS on La Cienega.” He explained, “I could literally jog to you if I wanted.” He chuckled and you smiled and bit your lip for a moment. It was already dark out…so no one would see him…
“Would you really?” You asked and he nodded.
“Yeah, of course! Had to skip my cool down cardio today because there were too many people at the gym.” He said and you thought about it for a moment. 
Harry was ready to jump out of bed and throw some clothes on and run out if you said he could. He just wanted to be around you again. Even talking like this was nice, just getting to see your expressions and watch you form your thoughts and listen to him.
“Maybe you running over here is not a great idea…” you said when you heard a police siren down the street. He tried to mask his disappointment at this but nodded, “I could pick you up?” You suggested instead.
“Uh yeah, that’s cool too.”
“Do you have any plans tomorrow?”
“No, just work out and hanging out in the area.”
“OK, so no strict curfew.” You smiled and he shook his head.
“Nope.”
  “Ok. Ummm, I’m gonna try to call Seb again and let him know.”
“Does he stay with you?” Harry asked.
“No, he actually lives in Pasadena.”
“Ooh…” Harry exclaimed with a scrunch in his face, “That’s a commute just because of the traffic.”
“I know. It’s not really that far, but man he has to take all the shitty freeways.” You said, “I think he probably went home after we argued. But I just want to let him know that I’m having you over just to avoid any issues.” You explained and he nodded. He loved that about you, you’d always been really considerate like that and it made him smile that you were still that way.
“Oh yeah, of course. I should probably do the same.” He said and you smiled.
“OK. I’ll text you my ETA when I’m heading out.”
“Sounds good.” He nodded and then you hung up.
You tried calling Sebastian a couple times before giving up and going to finish the dishes you had started on, maybe he’d call back. You finished up and still no response from Seb. Then you packed up the leftovers and still he had not called you back. You sighed and just called again, killing a bit of time by going around the house, lighting some of the candles you had out. But as it rang out to his voicemail once again you decided to just leave a message.
“Hey babe.” You started out, “I just wanted to say I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings earlier. It’s just that…Harry is really important to me and I miss him, OK? I miss getting to be his friend and he just wants to reconnect a bit, OK? His hotel is like 2 miles away from the house and he’s going to come here for a bit. I’m not sure if you’re on the road home or just went out somewhere nearby, so I’m just letting you know in case you want to come by whenever. I love you, Seb. Bye.” You finished and then hung up. You then texted Caitlyn just to let her know what happened and assured her you’d call the following day to catch her up on everything. By that time it had been about 20 minutes and you texted Harry to let him know you were on your way.
Harry was relieved to hear back from you with your ETA. After it took more than five minutes for you to get back to him he decided to have a quick shower so that he wouldn’t have to do it if he got back too late. He was so nervous, he felt like his heart would beat out of his chest at getting to be with you again. And when it got to two minutes of you arriving he made his way down to the lobby. He was quick as he scurried out and just as he was walking past the valet you pulled up to the curb.
“Uber for Garry?” You called out the passenger window with a playful grin and he laughed as he opened up the door and settled in.
“Hi.” He greeted you, his smile wide.
“Hi.” You responded and then you bit your lip to avoid smiling like Demi Lovato in Camp Rock. You were far too happy, you just needed a second to gather yourself. You were just taking each other in for a moment before someone honked at you and you jumped as the harsh sound startled you both. “Jesus…Sorry.” You mumbled before you started peeling away from the pick up area. Harry was chuckling beside you and you just rolled your eyes at him as he poked a bit of fun.
“How’d it go with Seb.” He asked, changing the subject.
“It didn’t…that’s why I took so long. Tried him a bunch of times while I finished cleaning up after dinner. Gave him a bit to call back and he didn’t so I left him a message. I did tell him that he could drop by whenever just to…see for himself that it’s fine.”
“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”
“Yeah…I just don’t get where all this suddenly came from. Like, I’ve been straight up about everything since I saw you last week and he was fine about it.”
“Maybe he’s just jealous.”
“Well yeah, but that doesn’t mean he has to distrust me.” You said and he nodded.
“That’s true. Well look, let’s not worry about it now. We can have a nice time and catch up…” He smiled and you nodded.
“Have you eaten dinner?”
“Nope.”
“Should I stop somewhere? Or there’s food at the house if you want that.” You said and he nodded.
“Yeah, that’s alright.” He smiled and you nodded. “Do you still cook a lot?” He asked and you smiled and nodded.
“Oh yeah, avidly. The kitchen continues to be my happy place.” You confirmed. “Caitlyn is on this vegan kick until next Thanksgiving, so I’ve been trying out a bunch of new stuff that she’s recommended I learn to cook for her.” you explained with a smile, “Seb is losing his mind about it though, all he eats is brown rice, chicken, and fish.” You explained, “Tonight I made like a veggie stir fry type of thing? With zucchinis and other types of squash, carrots, mushrooms, bell peppers, and some beyond ground beef.…”
“That sounds excellent.” he said and you smiled.
“I thought so too! Never thought I’d have to persuade a grown man into eating that many vegetables.” You said of Seb and Harry chuckled.
“I don’t even want to know what that means…” he mumbled jokingly as he glanced out the window and you laughed. 
“Not like that…” you giggled.
“Sure…sure.” Harry hummed as he side eyed you, who just shook you head in response. “Well you don’t have to persuade me. Though I’m not sure if I should just have you persuade me depending on what you’re persuading people with.” He teased and you rolled your eyes.
“I promised to make his favorite meal next time. That was the persuasion.” You clarified and he chuckled.
“I mean, I’ll still take that…do you even remember-”
“Of course! Branzino al Limone. How could I forget?” You asked with a smile as you glanced to him briefly, and he grinned in satisfaction. “Perfected the recipe last time I went to Italy actually.” 
“Why? For me?” He asked smugly.
“Ummm, because it’s good?! Also it was one of the dishes in the cooking course I completed there.” You said and he chuckled.
“Well that’s good.” 
“Yeah.” You smiled. 
You and Harry bonded a lot over food, it was basically one of your biggest love languages in your relationship. You loved learning together and you taught him a lot of the things he now knew. You wanted to ask if he cooked for his girlfriend…he probably did, it was part of his charm, part of the wooing process. He invited his love interest over to his and made you his perfected risotto al pomodoro and then had the other person involved in helping with dessert and while that went in the oven you’d kill some time by…well, you reckoned anyone would know what you filled that time with. It was basically straight out of a romcom. He even did it for you when you started dating. But you were much younger then so it was all the more impressive that a man pulled out all the stops like that.
You then wondered if she cooked for him as well. Did she do things better than you or was he left wanting just a bit more, forced to remember you every time she took a stab at his favorites? Or did they even do that for each other in this relationship? You wanted to know about it, but at the same time you knew that any knowledge of how his relationship worked with someone else wouldn’t really benefit you in any way. As long as he was happy, that was all you needed to know.
“Hey, what’s the matter?” He suddenly asked when you grew quiet.
“Nothing, just ummm, just thinking.” You said as you glanced at him quickly, “We’re nearly there.” You said and he nodded as you turned down to a residential street. The houses there looked to be of an older build, but they were still very beautiful. There was the odd bright white millennial cement block people were obsessed with currently, but other than that, the neighborhood you were in seemed to embrace the older LA architecture for the most part. “S’that one there in the corner.” You pointed to your right and he smiled as he saw your little corner house.
“God it even looks like England…so much green!” He chuckled happily as he glanced at you briefly before looking back as you got closer. 
Yeah, whoever lived there before her absolutely covered the property in plants. The entire front of the property was lined with a hedge that he assumed was his shoulder height or so. And then running diagonally through the front lawn was a little path of steps to get up to the front door, it was lined at each side by some of those little stake lights and blocked off by a little iron gate. You had some free driveway for guests and then another gate to close off the access to the backyard.
“Let me open up the gate,” you said as you unbuckled your seatbelt, “My control is out of batteries and then I bought the wrong-”
“I got it. I want to snoop your lawn.” He said as he unfastened his own seatbelt and you smiled.
“Yeah sure. The gate code’s-”
“Your birthday?” He asked with a knowing smile and you chuckled, “Still your birthday?!” He asked teasingly and you shrugged. “Oh, I’ve missed you…” he hummed quietly, smiling to himself now as he hopped out of the car and walked over to the little keypad at the far end of the gate. “Six digit and pound I assume?” He called out in question.
“Yes!” You shouted and he gave you a thumbs up before entering the numbers. Just a second later the wooden gate started to open inward, allowing you to drive in and he allowed himself to then wander down to the sidewalk where he unlatched the gate to get up to the front door.
It was so pretty out there. There was a a flower garden against the gate on the right side  and thanks to the LA weather they were still in bloom. He could even smell some of the lavender planted there. He followed the path up to the well lit front door and smiled as he saw the beautiful deep teal colored door. There was a big window to some room in the home, possibly the living room, though he couldn’t really make out what it was to because of the thin curtain over it so he just focused back on the door. He just couldn’t get over the color. Then at the foot of the door he spotted a welcome mat reading “Sup. I’m mat.” And Harry immediately burst into laughter and glanced around again to see some wind chimes dangling off of the corner of the drop off of the roof. The grass was well kept and there seemed to be plenty of space to sit out here if you wanted to in the evenings when it cooled down…
“What’s so funny?” You suddenly asked and he turned around to see you coming up the steps.
“Mat.” He said pointing to the welcome mat and you giggled.
“Oh right…$10 if you guess who got me that as a housewarming gift…” you said and he chuckled.
“Oh Caitlyn…I’ve missed her too.” He said and you sniggered. “I really like the color of your door.” He complimented.
“Thank you.” You smiled.
“And the yard is so nice and lush. Love the hedges.”
“Yeah? I’m thinking of getting rid of the hedges.” You shared.
“Oh really?”
“Yeah. Like I like them for privacy but it just seems so closed off to me.”
“I can see that…What does Sebastian think?”
“Who cares? He doesn’t live here.” You sniggered and he chuckled and nodded.
“Well personally, I’d keep ‘em. You’re so close to Sunset that when people find out this is your home there are bound to be TMZ tour busses rolling to a stop every hour and a half.” He said and you sighed as you realized her was right, “Besides, it just kinda feels like your own little world with them, you know? Almost like secret garden type vibes.” He said as he looked around the area again and you smiled.
“Well thank you for your input, I will consider it.” You assured and he smiled, “Alright, lets get inside.” You said and keyed your way in. You had one of those keypad doors as well because losing keys was your hidden talent.
“Oh wow, this is so nice!” Harry complimented as he looked around inside.
“Thank you.” You smiled as you slipped out of her shoes and he did the same. “Want a tour?”
“Yeah!” He agreed eagerly. 
With that confirmation you first guided him down the hallway towards the master bedroom and let him wander around in there for a bit. It had a door to the backyard as well so he looked out there and let her talk about her plans for her little studio before you wandered into the bathroom and closet. He was obsessed with her shower and even snapped some pictures to see if he could do something like that at his place. Then you went to the guest bedrooms to look around in there, and then you stopped in the living room on their way to the kitchen.
“Hey! That’s mine! I think…” He smiled brightly and pointed at a painting of an array of colorful, small and silly, misshapen faces. He walked up to the wall in the living room with tons of art hung on it and studied that one.
“Oh yeah, it is one of yours.” You smiled, “I found it when I was cleaning out my storage unit!”
“God, I was so fucking high when I painted that…” he recalled and chuckled as he shook his head.
“Were you?” You chuckled and he nodded, glancing back at you for a moment before he looked back to the painting.
“Can’t believe I even gave it to you. It was a secret Santa gift, wasn’t it?” He asked as he turned back towards you, fully this time and you nodded with a smile in response to his question. “It’s pretty cool. M’glad you kept it.” He said more softly.
“Of course I did. I love it. It really catches the eye. S’the one people ask about the most actually. Especially when they see the signature.” You said and he chuckled.
“You’ve got a lot of cool pieces.” He added.
“Thank you.”
“Can’t believe we never even went to a museum together.” he said as he turned back to the wall. “Such a shame…”
“Hey, maybe one day.” You said and he smiled as he turned back to you, “Alright, lets get you fed.” You said.
“Yes, please!” He concurred and followed you through to the kitchen. 
You fixed him a plate and told him to feel free to keep looking around the house while it warmed up. You checked your phone again and Seb had not even sent a text in response yet. You were getting worried now, maybe he was serious when he said he was done. You still didn’t think you’d done anything horribly wrong, he had been quite demanding and unreasonable in your opinion. 
When Harry came back into the kitchen to find you staring at your phone he frowned.
“Hey, everything alright?” His presence startled you a bit, but you nodded quickly.
“Yeah.” You assured and he looked at you skeptically, “I swear. I was just checking to see if Seb got back to me yet.”
“He hasn’t?” He asked and you shook your head as you set your phone down and turned to the microwave to grab his plate. When you turned back he sighed, “I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault, Har.”
“But it is…if I hadn’t insisted t-to have some time with you then maybe-”
“I wanted to have time with you too.” You reminded and slid the plate over to him across the counter and he settled into one of the stools along the island. You then turned around to grab him a fork. Once he had it in his hand he quickly started eating.
“This is delicious.” He moaned with a partially full mouth, “Missed how you cook.” He tagged on happily and you smiled.
“Glad you like it.” You hummed and then started to pack the leftovers back up again. “Do you want some wine or water? I also have Cutwaters, which are quite traumatizing but-”
“Are you gonna have that?” He asked.
“I will if you will.” You said and he chuckled.
“Yeah, alright. What flavor?”
“S’the Long Island ones.” You said with a slight grimace and he mirrored your expression.
“Do you have a death wish?” He asked and you sniggered.
“There were gifted to me with a PR package, OK? Didn’t just want to throw ‘em out.”
“God…just one though, those are alarmingly strong.” He reminded.
“Oh, I know…I hardly even drink anymore apart from the occasional glass of wine. I might only have a cocktail, two max, at events but it’s pretty rare now. So one will definitely do it for me.” You chuckled and he did as well as you turned back to the fridge to open up the box. You came around to the stools and set the cans down and then sat in the spot beside him. “So what did you girlfriend say?” You asked against your better judgment but you had to know.
“About?” He asked, glancing to you before taking another bite of food.
“Us. Hanging out tonight.” You clarified and he hummed.
“Oh! I ummm, I just decided not to mention it to her.” He confessed a bit shamefully, “I was going to but I’m not sure of what her reaction would be and that scared me a bit. And either way, I would’ve come seen you regardless of her opinion about it, so if she’d gotten angry well, I didn’t want to lie and pretend I wasn’t gonna see you on top of making her angry…” he rationalized his decision and then went back for another bite of food.
“A lie of omission is still a lie…” you hummed and he shrugged.
“Damned if I do, damned if I don’t.” He mumbled and you sighed and nodded. “I-is that bad?” He asked.
“What?” You asked.
“That I don’t care what she’d think of us reconnecting.” He said and you sighed.
“I think, in a black and white world the answer is yes, but it’s not. And more than that, I mean, it’s us. It feels wrong to be strangers.” You said and he nodded. “But I mean, in a way it’s good that she’s new in your life because she doesn’t really know how we were together, you know? So she has nothing to worry about. Not that there is anything to worry about at the moment, but if she’s on the insecure side then it could cause her some concern.”
“Like Seb.” He said. Not meaning to, but instinctually having to point it out.
“Yeah, I guess so…” you sighed.
“Maybe he does have something to worry about?” Harry said and you turned to him with a furrow in your brows and then his arched up, “Not with me! Sorry that came out wrong, forget I said anything. Sorry.” He rushed out and took another bite of food.
“If not about you then what?” You asked him as he chewed and he shook his head.
“Just forget it. I misspoke.” He mumbled after swallowing it down.
“H, don’t- don’t do that to me.” You said lowly as you looked into his eyes and he sighed.
“I just…just don’t take what I say to heart, OK? I should’ve just kept my mouth shut.” He prefaced and you nodded, “S’just something a friend told me about their overly jealous and insecure partner that came to mind. She said that often times those people are so worried about what their partners are doing as a form of…projection.” He said and your eyes softened and you looked down at the counter as the implication of what he was saying weighed on you. “Those kinds of people are often paranoid about their own hidden secrets or agendas being uncovered that they try and-” he stopped when he saw you pick up your can and chug it down for a few seconds before setting it down.
Your chest was rising and falling hard as you caught your breath. You weren’t sure if your throat was stinging from the overload of carbonation you’d just gulped down or from fighting off the knot seeking to lodge itself in it. You hadn’t considered that before. Maybe you were naive, but you always trusted that your partners had your best interest at heart. Though you had been cheated on twice by the same person in the past, this was right before you met Harry. And well, things with Harry had been so great that you were largely able to overcome your trust issues over the course of your relationship with him. You healed from it, but now it seemed like it was maybe a thing again.
“Hey,” Harry spoke softly and grabbed your hand and you turned to him, “I know Seb, he wouldn’t do that to you.” He said with certainty, “He was in love with you for five years, maybe more, and never did a thing about it but wait his turn.” He said and you blinked a few times and nodded, “I’m telling you, it just came to mind but I shouldn’t have said anything. It doesn’t- it’s not the same situation.” He emphasized.
“Maybe we’re wrong for this. Maybe we just need t-to let it go. The past is the past, there’s no need to stir up trouble in our present lives over something that clearly wasn’t…wasn’t meant to be.” You said quietly instead and he frowned.
“You can’t believe we weren’t meant to be, Y/N. Of course we were.” He insisted with conviction.
“Then why did we give up?”
“Bad timing.” He said simply.
“Well aren’t you happy right now? As things are.”
“Sure.” He said, “A-are you?”
“I am…I mean, I know I could be happier, but I’m getting there. And it’s not because of you or anything like that, it’s just that Seb and I are still a bit new. And we have a lot more work to do on how our relationship works, clearly.” You said with a smile and he smiled as well and reached for his own drink.
“Wanna talk about it?” He asked and you nodded.
“Desperately.” You said and he smiled.
“Yeah, we can talk about it then.” He assured.
“OK, you finish up here. I’m going to get my makeup off and out of these clothes.”
“Yeah love, take your time.” He assured and you smiled and hurried off. 
Harry finished eating in silence, debating on whether he should tell Tay about coming over to your place or not. Maybe you had a point, she wouldn’t freak out about it like Seb did because she hadn’t seen you guys at your peak. She didn’t know how it had been between you two to be worried about anything happening. And as that thought crossed his mind it then dawned on him that maybe he was also right, about the projecting thing. Maybe he was projecting this feeling of disapproval and rejection from her because he knew he was in the wrong for this. He knew that being here with the person he wholeheartedly believed was his soulmate was such a test…
His own lyrics then came to mind, “my hand’s at risk, I fold”. He’d written that about you all those years ago. He felt then that you’d both put so much into your love, you’d both bet on it with everything you had only for you guys to realize that it wasn’t panning out how you hoped. So you both just pulled out of it before you could get anymore hurt or suffer any more losses. Had folding been a mistake? That was a question that was constantly orbiting in his mind. Had you guys held on a bit longer, would things have suddenly turned around like you’d been betting they would the whole time? Had you guys been too hasty with giving up? That’s what it felt like to him, giving up. He hated giving up. He had felt defeated for so long
and maybe he was here because he was supposed to be. Running into you like he did, talk about the luck of the draw…what were the odds? He dwelled on that thought as he washed his dishes and dried them up. And then he picked up your can of Cutwater to weigh out how much catching up he needed to do and then did just that. He groaned in disgust at the sweet and bitter after taste and then grabbed your can again and made his way to your living room. He set them down on coasters you had at your coffee table and then went to the window to pull the thicker curtains over your window. 
“Hey, can I use the fireplace?” He shouted out and after a few seconds he heard you shout back a yes. So he quickly got a fire going, it was just a comfort thing he supposed. He loved the sound of the crackling firewood and the smell of it burning slowly over the open flame. He got it going and then moments later you came in, your feet in your slippers and your body warmed up in some yoga pants and a crewneck.
“Sorry I took so long.” You apologized.
“S’alright, took the time to clean up after myself and catch up with you.” He said glancing towards your drinks and you smiled and reached for yours, so he grabbed his as well. You tucked one of your legs under you as the other dangled off of the couch. Harry just waited for you to start.
“That’s one of the things I’m struggling with, about Seb.” You started.
“What?” He asked.
“He’s just…a little…helpless. Or lazy, I don’t know which one.”
“Hmmm…”
“Yeah, he didn’t grow up like we did. With everyone pulling their weight, everyone thinking of how what one person does can affect the other. How, you can’t always have it your way, you know?” You explained and Harry nodded. “He’s the youngest of three, has two older sisters, so he never had to lift a finger growing up. His dad’s a pilot and his mom just stayed at home and looked after them. They supported his dreams of being a singer from the get go, like our parents but, they paid for him to come to LA and live here. They had the means so he didn’t struggle at all, his only challenge was just to get a scout’s attention. So fundamentally, we have very different values I think. Especially of what it means to work hard at something. So right now that he’s upset at me, it’s not so much to do with you as it has to do with the fact that he’s not…getting his way.” You explained.
“So he’s a brat?” Harry said with an amused smile.
“Basically…a bit.” You said with a small smile, “And I do love him, but I don’t think it’s…enough to…to make me truly move on like you have.” You explained. He reached for your hand and you squeezed it for a second before letting go.
“Don’t think I’ll ever truly move on from you…” he said, “I’ve been thinking a lot about when we ended things. Like what if we had waited just a little bit more and things had worked out?”
“Would you have…wanted that?”
“Of course.” He said with certainty. “Yeah, I’m happy now, but I’ll always wonder if it’s just another path back to you…I don’t know if that’s…romantic or just plain obsessive.” He chuckled a bit and you smiled.
“Maybe a little bit of both.” You said and he smiled, “I’ve been thinking about how fucking insane it is that we ran into each other at Westlake.” You said and he gasped.
“Me too! Been thinking that since we saw each other.”
“I never go to Westlake if I can help it…like ever. So the odds of me even being there are…astronomical.” You said.
“Really?”
“Oh yeah! Honestly, I’ve delayed recording by a day or two if it’s the only one with open slots.” You giggled with a shake of you head. Maybe it was crazy of you, but you felt like the place was cursed. 
“That drastic!? Why?” He asked, his face scrunched up in a confused smile and your smile faded slowly.
“Ummm…that’s where I was, when you…called.” You said and his eyes softened.
“Oh.” Is all he could say.
“Yep, suite 2.” You said with a small, sad smile, “I feel like the place is cursed.” You told him what you’d always thought.
“And isn’t two the number you dislike the most out of all the even numbers?” He asked and you chuckled.
“Yeah, actually!” You confirmed.
“Don’t you think it’s too big of a coincidence that our paths crossed for the first time in years in the same place we ended our relationship?” He asked.
“Of course, I do.” You sighed and shook your head.
“Do you think it’s…a sign?” He asked and your gaze softened as you looked away.
“D-don’t do that, H.” You said with a frown and he scooted closer.
“Hey, look at me.” He said softly and you glanced up at him, he was just inches from your face. “It’s been you the whole time, you have to know that.” He said softly.
“I feel the same but…but we can’t…” your voice cracked as your eyes welled up.
“Why not?” He asked you, grabbing your face now, “Why can’t we just be together how we’re supposed to?”
“Because at some point we weren’t supposed to. We can’t hurt the people in our lives like that. They don’t deserve that.” You sniffled and he swallowed thickly.
“You’re right. You’re so right.” He sighed. A moment of weakness for him…what was he thinking.
“It doesn’t mean I don’t love you, Harry.” You said and he nodded.
“I know…I just…I can’t believe I said that…so ridiculous.” He sighed, feeling so ashamed for even suggesting it and now you reached for him.
“It’s not, Harry. It’s not like I wasn’t thinking it too.” You said and he squeezed your hand a bit tighter.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, of course. How could I not…” you said and he bit his lip.
“Look, maybe not now but what about a few years from now?” He said and your mouth dropped open a bit.
“What?”
“A few years from now, if we find ourselves alone again we try again.” He said and your lips turned up.
“That’s…that’s wild…”
“This whole thing has been wild! I mean, all of this was just a twist of fate. I can’t let this go to waste without trying. You’re my soul mate, I just know it.” He said and you exhaled shakily, “Tempt fate with me, love. Just one more time.” He appealed and you chuckled.
“OK.” You agreed.
“Yeah?” He asked happily, his heart pounding hard in his chest.
“Yeah.” You whispered. 
Neither of you were really thinking too much about it when his hand came up to your jaw and tilted it upwards and your lips met quickly. When you both realized that you’d kissed you pulled away immediately. Your eyes met as a deafening silence came over the both of you. He hadn’t let you go yet and his eyes drifted down to your lips again, how he had missed the taste of them. The feeling of them against his own. He leaned back in and when your hand hooked around his neck he just smooshed his lips against yours with urgency.
You both sighed in relief at the feeling of kissing like this again. You felt like a wildfire right now, fierce and untamable. When his hands landed on your hips and pulled, you quickly got the hint and climbed into his lap. His strong arms hugged around your waist, making you feel safe and cared for in his arms, like old times. You smiled in satisfaction before his tongue licked at your bottom lip and you opened up easily for him. And when you felt your tongues meeting you moaned and slid your hands up to grab his hair to pull at it like you always would. But you were instead met with the smooth and lightly ticklish surface of his buzzcut and you started to giggle.
“Forgot about that.” You grinned, before pecking his lips lightly and he laughed with you. You pulled back just a bit, your noses skimming as your gazes met. You kissed him quickly again and pulled back before he could deepen the kiss again, leaving him wanting. 
“Baby…” he whined lowly. Leaning in and you turned your head a bit, his kiss landing at the corner of your mouth.
“We should stop before we do something worse.” you whispered and he sighed but nodded.
“You’re right. Sorry.” He whispered and you just smiled and hugged him and he hugged you back. It was just a few moments into your embrace when you guys heard a car lock beeping from outside.
“That’s Seb’s car.” You said, immediately recognizing the sound.
“Shit.” Harry whispered as he let you go and you clambered off of his lap quickly and assumed your previous seat. “Sorry for that. I promise I held off as long as I could.” He apologized and you shook your head.
“It’s alright, I wanted to. Was thinking about it the whole time as well so…” You reassured him as your eyes met and he just smiled at you. Seconds later the lock on the front door chimed, indicating it had been unlocked and then Sebastian appeared, standing at the entrance of the living room to see you and Harry sitting on the couch, a comfortable distance between the two of you.
“Hey.” He greeted you both.
“Hey.”, “Hi, Seb.” You and Harry greeted him.
“Sorry for just leaving like that. I wanted to call you back after hearing your message, but I wanted t’cool off a bit. Went to the bar and I didn’t realize I dropped my phone there. Luckily, someone found it and turned it in. Then I went to Jake’s to track it since he lives close to it and when I went back to get it the screen was all wrecked.” He said holding it up.
“Oh shit! M’sorry.”, “That sucks, mate.” You and Harry said and he chuckled.
“Just bad luck I guess.” He sighed, “So ummm, you guys just catching up?” He asked and you nodded.
“Yeah, Harry’s telling me about performing at Slane Castle.” You said and he nodded.
“Do you mind if I join you guys?” He asked.
“Not at all, mate.” Harry smiled.
“Cool. I’ll get a drink too then.” Seb said with a small smile and you nodded as he headed off to the kitchen.
“Thanks for putting me on the spot.” Harry whispered with a disbelieving grin and you giggled.
“As fate would have it, you had an iconic tour this year, so you can tell the stories…” you smiled.
> Next Part >
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exhaslo · 1 month
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Can you do like a God Miguel and devil fem reader, this is my first request so please no hate 😭 Oh yeah AND SMUTTTTT
That man is basically a God, haha. Usually I see this request the opposite way, so this is going to be so much fun!
Warning: MINORS DNI, Smut, teasing, taunting, handsy, oral sex (m receiving), riding, rough sex, dirty talk, doggy style, creampie
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"C'mon, Big Boy. Afraid to show a lil ol' devil like me what a taste of Heaven looks like?"
This was a sight to behold. No one had ever dared to question or even go against Miguel's ruling. There was a reason why the two dimensions were split between Heaven and Hell. There were a whole list of reasons.
One of them, being devils like you.
You gave a wicked smile towards Miguel, the God of Heaven himself, the ruler of all Angels. Hell, the very man whom separated the Angels and Devils. He was one who controlled all. One who could change the course of fate itself.
"What's a Sinner like me to do in order to enter your pearly white gates of Heaven?" You cooed, getting on your knees.
"You have already made your choices in life. You must live with the consequences of your actions." Miguel spoke.
You gave a pout, pressing your lower lip out while pressing your breasts together.
"But, it wasn't all my fault! I'm here to confess my sins and do right. Please, give me a chance? Isn't that what Angels do? Give second chances?" You begged.
Miguel grunted lowly as he shooed his Angels away. They had started to whisper amongst themselves because sadly, you were right. Miguel disliked it when a devil would sway the good hearted with cruel twists of truth.
"You wish to be redeemed? How do you plan on doing so?" Miguel asked. You bit your lower lip, finding his scowl hot,
"I'll do anything."
-------
Miguel sure had you work your way into heaven. As God, he personally oversaw your progress. Every human you helped; everyone good deed you did; everything was in his sight.
Even your advances. You were sly as you did your job. Poking your ass out slightly; accidently having a tit pop out; hell even using the old lollipop trick. You were doing whatever it took to try and sway Miguel in your favor.
"Hm, excellent work. Perhaps I just might consider your arrival into heaven after a few thousand more good deeds." Miguel hummed. You felt your eye twitch,
"Thousand? Isn't there anything more..." You slid your hand down Miguel's chest, "Intense I could do?"
"Have you forgotten who I am?"
"I haven't," You whispered in his ear, slowly lowering your tank top, "I know that you rule over everything. You see everything while no one can see you. You poor stressed God."
"I'm not stressed." Miguel huffed as he glanced around the human world, "I know what you've really been after this whole time."
"Hm? You have?" You cooed, "Then why entertain me?"
"Because even a God gets bored."
In the next second, both you and Miguel were in what looked like a human hotel room. A smile curled upon your lips as you spread your legs on the bed, slowly removing your top. You gave Miguel a seductive look, motioning him over,
"So bored that you'll entertain a devil?" Miguel scoffed,
"So bored that one might say I am stressed." He tried to change the topic, but sighed, "Sometimes even I grow jealous of how easily humans find pleasure."
You raised a brow, your smile growing wider. You sat up, reaching for Miguel. Your hands stroking down his chest as you threw your top across the room.
"Allow me to give you a show then?" You whispered.
Swapping places with Miguel, you proceeded to give him a little lap dance. As you moved your ass against his crotch, you started to take your bra off. For a God like him to entertain a devil like you, oh this was going to be good.
You nibbled against his ear as you took off you pants, revealing no underwear. A chuckle escaped your lips as you glanced down towards Miguel's erection.
"Hm, does mini God wanna play?" You cooed.
"Perhaps I could show you what heaven tastes like after all." Miguel played along.
Oh, that made you wet. You hands were all over Miguel now. You just had to strip him, but slowly. You cute little devil tail twirled as you started to grind against Miguel's white robes. You stroked his face, watching his temptation grow,
"Shall I do all the work?" You whispered. Miguel just smirked,
"Weren't you the one who needed to get into heaven?"
You huffed as you removed his robes. Eyes widening at the sight of his dick. He wasn't a God for nothing. With a lick of your lips, you got on your knees and started to work your magic. You had good deeds to do after all.
"How many deeds if I make you cum?" You hummed with a lick of his tip.
"A hundred."
"Oh? Then I'll have my work cut out."
"It's a good thing stamina doesn't exist for me." Miguel said with a smirk, which made you quiver.
Ignoring that thought for now, you returned to stroking and sucking Miguel's dick. Of course God doesn't have stamina. Even devils and angels had it. Well, at least you were trying to earn his forgiveness and not the other way around.
You moaned lowly as you started to take Miguel deeper. His dick was thick and long. Just the thought of him ravishing you was making you horny. Not to mention the sounds of his grunts was delicious. If only you were a succubus, this would make a fine meal.
"Still waiting to be impressed." Miguel teased.
You felt your eye twitch as you kept sucking. What more did he want? Gasping, you felt his hands on your head as he started to thrust into your mouth. Tears started to form as you tried to breathe through you nose.
"Here's your first hundred." Miguel groaned.
You nearly gagged as Miguel cummed inside your mouth. Moving away, you swallowed what you could, but coughed up the rest. There was so much. Wiping your mouth, you glanced at his still harden erection and chuckled,
"If that's the case, then this will be easy."
--------
"Are you giving up already? What a poor little slutty devil you are." Miguel mocked as you bounced on his cock.
You were drooling as you rode Miguel. His dick fit so nicely inside you, stretching all your walls as you fucked him. His tip hit the far back of your cervix, making you really see heaven in a different light. You had only fucked him for a few minutes and you felt like giving in.
"Is this all Hell has to offer?" Miguel asked. You flinched, feeling yourself about to cum again,
"N-No...J-Just....so...ah~" You whined, jumping down once more only to cum.
"This is why you need my help."
Miguel held your waist and started to thrust up inside you, causing you to moan and squirm. His dick was too much. He was hitting you in all the right places. Gripping your hips, Miguel watched your tits bounce as he fucked you from below.
"Tsk, tsk, this poor little devil wants forgiveness right?"
"Y-Yesh~"
"I'll give it to you. One load at a time."
You shuddered towards his words as he released a heavy load inside you. Gasping, you felt Miguel press you against the bed, entering you from behind. His grip was still tight as he started to pound your pussy.
"Such lewd sounds you're making. Does my dick feel that good?"
"Ah~ Ah~ Y-Yes!" You cried out, gripping the bedsheets. Miguel chuckled, listening to the sound of his dick slapping into you,
"Can you feel my holy presence inside you? Is this the taste of heaven you wanted so much?"
"Ah~ Mhm~"
You couldn't think. You felt your eyes roll back as you focused on Miguel pounding you. His hot cum just begging to spill before his next load. This was truly paradise.
"So cock drunk that you can't even think. What a slutty devil you are." Miguel hummed, feeling you cum around him, "But you are doing the best deed there is."
"Mhm!" You gasped as Miguel slapped into your gummy walls faster,
"Keep coming to me for your forgiveness and I'll happily give it to your horny pussy." He groaned, cumming once more, "How does that sound?"
"Ah~ Y-Yes~ Yes~" You moaned loudly.
Miguel just chuckled in response, turning you over. You were out of breathe and fucked out. Miguel glanced at your body, watching your devil wings disappear since you had no energy. Another chuckle escaped his lips as he watched his cum leak out of you,
"Don't suppose you want to start a new race? I have unless stamina after all."
You had a long road of forgiveness ahead of you, but you weren't complaining in the slightest.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
I CAN FEEL THE JUDGEMENT FROM ABOVE, BUT WE ALL KNOW I'M GOING DOWN! I HOPE YOU ENJOYED!!!
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noxtivagus · 2 years
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doing ffxiv quests always enlightens me
#🌙.rambles#doing some blue quests rn to unlock matanga#i'm gna stop procrastinating rn >.>#endwalker is so inspiring. ffxiv in general#'move forward with courage' & 'sometimes standing still offers a new perspective'#that second line literally made me stop and think for a while#i often find myself empathizing and admiring all these characters. even npcs of side quests#i'm proud of her!!! apologizing 'even if she may refuse it' / 'no more distractions'#'that being said if you were by my side it may be all the easier for me to find the right words'#yh i especially admire the wol. she's a 'hero'#'we've all lost something during this tragedy—through no one's fault but fate.'#'these are difficult days and we shouldn't blame ourselves for their cruelty.'#those last two lines also remind me of what another chara said in shb... 'fate can be cruel but a smile better suits a hero.'#that first line tho is kinda sad to me. one meaning cld be that losing you was fated. (we were a tragedy. we were fated to fall apart)#it obviously doesn't mean that tho in this context but that's a nice writing idea#sigh thinking abt the wol as a hero always makes me think of drk. i'm still really in love with how they approach those kinda stuff#drk/shb n the contrast of light and dark on a morally gray scale (?) idk how to explain aaaa#wait i'm gna stop rambling n continue playing ><#wah. these stories tho w forgiveness and hope and paths and regrets and answers#how we can forgive ourselves & help/comfort others in times of struggle and despair...#'all it takes is a single step forward but you must want to take it'#'sometimes we must stop to consider the best way ay forward.'#the desire to take a step forward to the morrow. the importance of taking your time and not rushing#'wounds feel more quickly when a salve is applied to them. when we ignore the pain they cause; they rot.'#'we must take actions to see them healed and rest when we are tired. only when our energy returns can we move forward carefully.'#'one step at a time.' fuck that hits hard#i've told myself the same words over and over again. just in my own special way#endwalker tho hurts so bad w the. fear and negative emotions in their hearts consume them and#they just cease to exist. the people you love turn into monsters with no other purpose#no goodbyes. not even a chance of meeting again in another life. that failure of hope / permanent and irreversible...
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shapard · 2 months
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Feather of Fate 🕊️
Lucifer x fem!seraphim!reader
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Soulmate arc
Lilith being weird
Saturn
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Chapter 6 < Chapter 7 > Chapter 8
You’ve never felt this out of place before. 
Even in heaven it wasn't this awkward.
You were sitting beside Lucifer who hasn’t talked since you’ve arrived here in the main lobby. 
Lilith was sitting in front of you all like she hasn’t been missing for 7 years.
Walking around as if she owns this place. And it angered you.
Charlie was happy to see her mom again after such a long time, but also was hella confused. 
Why is she here all of the sudden right before the extermination day? Charlie wasn't the only one who thought of this.
You too are confused at this ordinary timing.
Angel dust was concerned about you. 
You and Lucifer were now official but the appearance of Lucifers ex-wife was very overwhelming for you, and Angel could see it. 
And one guy was not even presence, and that was Alastor. 
Weird. 
Normally he’s always there when someone new arrived in here. 
“Who are you?” Nifty broke the silence, and all eyes were now on her. 
Lilith choose to Ignore Nifty, and she pouted. “So, you’re… His new girl?” Lilith asked looking you up and down. With her gaze lingering now on her you felt insecure somehow.
You hugged yourself to look smaller.
You nodded your head 'yes', even though you didn’t like the tone Lilith gave you. 
“She’s his girlfriend and she has a name big tits.” Angel said raising his eyebrows.
He didn’t trust her.
Not at all.
Lilith smirked and leaned back in her seat.
“I don't care. Really her Lu?” Lilith looked over at Lucifer and he looked shortly back.
his gaze went quickly to the ground.
It was obvious that Lilith still had Lucifer in her fingers, and it pissed you off. 
“Excuse me?” You decided to interrupt her cruel speaking.
She looked at you in surprise, and you huff in annoyance.
“You really think you can just come over here and talk here as if this place belongs to you.
Sorry for breaking the news to you, but you’re no longer the owner of this house, nor do you have the right to come here to Insult your ex.
You left him and I’m here. No refunds.” You Shaked your head, Angel dust smirked at you come back. 
He’s so proud of you.
Lucifer smiled, every day he gets more reasons to love you. 
“What are you even doing here?” Lucifer finally looked at Lilith and he felt nothing. 
No Love, no sadness. 
Lilith bit her lip hard, drawing blood. “Can’t I visit my little daughter.”
Lucifer raised his eyebrow, “You never visit nor called her in over 7 years. What changed!” No one gets after his daughter, not even her Mother.
Not even Lilith.
Lilith patient was running thin, she scratched with her nail into the wood piece from the couch breaking her nails in the process. 
She took a breath in and out. “I had a lot of important things to do.” 
Now y’all were raising a brow at this statement, besides Charlie.
She had faith for the first time that her mother wants to see her again. 
But you all had a valid point, why now? 
“It seems no one wants me here. I’ll leave, but I will come back.”
She looked now at Lucifer smiling at his angered face. ‘you’ll see’ She mouthed at him, he pointed towards the door.
And she left.
“That was way too easy.” Husk said that what all thought. She left you all dumbfounded. 
It was way too easy.
Angel shifted towards you and Lucifer. “So, you two a thing now?” You nod your head and smile brightly. 
He wanted to change the topic so you don't overthink all of this, and it worked successfully.
Charlie bounced up and down dismissing the weird visit from her mother. She's so excited for the two of you.
Charlie is a cutie pie, and you love everything about her. She is just like her father, the pros so the cons. Both just want to do their best for their beloved.
Even though they sometimes fuck up, it is always meant in a good way.
“You said It yourself seconds ago. Why are you even asking?” Lucifer asked and rested his chin on your shoulder.
He loves that he's shorter than you. Every time you two hugged he was always between your boobs. Even though he wears a hat to look taller.
Angel just shrugged and continued to drink his Malibu with his well known smile.
… Time Skip...
Lucifer paced around your room, and you watched his every move. 
You stood up and hugged his waist looking down into his eyes. Sometimes he was looking at you, but they travelled through the whole room most of the time.
“Luci, calm down. Nothing happened we are fine.” His strand fell in front of his eyes, and you put it back to its place, Lucifer clicked his tongue.
“That’s what’s worrying me. Why didn’t she do anything? I know Lilith since the start of earth, she wouldn’t just leave in those situations without a reason.” 
Lucifer leaned into you embrace letting out a distressed sigh. 
"Don't worry about it. You're one of the strongest beings, she wouldn't dare to put out a fight like Michael did." Lucifers sighs, you're probably right.
_____
“You just left?!” Michael laughed biting at his fresh manicured nail. 
His women staff around him tensed up, wanting nothing more than to leave.
Michael sent them away. They ran as fast as they could out of the room.
“And you didn’t even spy on them? Tried anything to get useful Information?! I really wonder why you divorced him and not the other way around.” He breathed in and threw a glass cup next to Lilith. 
“But you just LEFT?!” 
He shook his head, his eyes shining in pure blue. 
“They’re soulmates.” She whispered. Not looking at him with his icy cold eyes.
She hated that look in his eyes he was giving her.
He looked at her like she is a piece of garbage, something he should've got disposed of.
Something that now molds in one of his cabinets.
the only reason why she is still alive was her use for him.
And something else they both tried to hide and undo.
Michael’s mark burned in protest but it won’t stop him to punish Lilith.
“NO SHIT!” he leaned his hand in his palm trying to calm down. massaging his forehead hardy leaving a red fingerprint.
“Your plan failed Michael. It worked for a couple of Months but not longer. It seemed their bond grew stronger.” A loud bang echoed the icy cold halls in Michael’s mansion. 
The temperature was starting to get colder and colder. 
Ice started to grow around Lilith holding her tight in place. “I should’ve killed you a long time ago.”
He stood in front of Lilith cutting her cheek open with the same knife your blood was spilled. 
“I- I- have an idea!” Michael removed the knife from her cheek with ease.
Lilith feared him you thought? 
Feared was the wrong word.
She’s haunted by him. 
Every time she thinks she’s in peace, he reminds her that he has her in her personal hell.
The sharing Soulmate mark was burning on her skin bonding then for eternity.
“Tell me.” Michael licked Lilith’s blood away from her cheek and she shrieked trying to get away from him. But his ice didn’t let her move. 
“We can use her,”
Michael grabbed her chin turning Lilith head to him, “I already tried that Bitch.”
Lilith looked at Michael and shrugged her eyes at him, “But my idea is better.” 
Michael eyes twitched in annoyance, how dare she?
“On extermination day, we can take her away from him.”
______
You knocked onto Charlie’s door hesitant.
You were worried about her.
You know how it is with mommy Issues and when they try to gain something out of you. Out of your weakness and dreams. 
No one can destroy you like a mother can. No one can build you up like a loving mother. And no one can cause destruction like a mother.
You speak out of experience with your mother Sera.
Even though you’ve almost spoken no words with Lilith, she seems kind of like an asshole.
It was all Lilith's fault which caused Charlie and Lucifer being so distant to each other.
Saying always Lucifer was too busy to see his own daughter, which isn’t even true. 
And telling Lucifer that Charlie doesn't want to see her own father.
You didn’t like Lilith at all.
Charlie opened the door and was shocked to see you there. 
“Y/n?” You briefly smiled to her, “Can I get in?” She tilted her head and gave you a concerned look. “Did something happen with dad?” 
You shook your head laughing a bit, “I just want to know if everything’s alright with you? Just a quick check.” Charlie nods her head, not looking you in the eye. 
“I can see when someone’s lying my dear.” Charlie looks up to you, “pfft- No. I am completely fine! really!” She laughed you off, pushing you out of her and Vaggies room. 
“If you say so.” You said, not really believing her. Charlie puts her thumbs up and closed the door right in front of you. 
So that’s how Lucifer felt.
Not a nice feeling.
You can understand Charlie, you’re new. New to this Family, new to her. 
So, you understand when she doesn’t want to share her feelings with you. but it was worth a shot. 
You didn't spend much time with Charlie nor her friends.
You talked sometimes with Angel or with Husk. They seemed nice.
You had once a conversation with Alastor and Lucifer wasn’t really a fan of it. 
Lucifer creeped behind you and gave Alastor a rude comment.
He growled at Alastor and pushed you away from him. 
Since then, you always keep yourself distant from Alastor. 
You walked towards the bar seeing Angel and Husk drinking some cocktails and shots.
You sat beside Angel, telling husk to make you a good drink. 
“Never seen you drink alcohol before. Tough day?” Husk asked grabbing some bottles from the shelves. “Nah, just want to try something new.” 
Angel looked you up and down smiling. “You look different.” His fingers drew circles on the bar table, biting his lips in a sexual matter. 
“Did you and the short king finally get into some action?” He pushed his chest fur up and fluffed it a bit. 
And here we go.
Of course, Angel will notice.
Your cheeks redden, feeling the sudden embarrassed. 
“What? No- where did you get that idea from?!” You started playing with the glass that husk laid in front of you moments ago. 
Angel frowned, “I do sex for a living toots. But except that, everyone can see it even if you’re blind like a fish.” Angel rests his head on one of his many hands and raised his eyebrows at you. 
“You’re not a good liar kiddo.” Husk said and Angel snorted, “Ya see! Even Mr. grump cat can see it.”
Angel smirked at Husk and continued to tease him. They both stopped giving each other shots when they heard your joyful laugh. 
“What?” They both asked in sync.
“You two are like an old married couple.” You continued to laugh out loud.
Meanwhile Husk and Angel were a blushing mess blabbering “No’s” and dismissive comments about how they act. 
“Married couple? No, nah. We two? Never, haha!” Angel blabbered and husk agreed by him. And this went on and on for the rest of day.
Angel, Husk, and you got way closer. 
This was a great day so far. 
But there was an unsettling feeling building up in your guts, telling you to run. 
And you couldn’t figure out why. 
Walking back to your room you saw Alastor on your way back. 
‘Please not him’. 
“Look who we have here!” His smile was unsettling, you wanted to leave before he could try anything to you.
You were all alone and he could use this advantage. But he wouldn't right?
“Oh, hey there Alastor. Sorry we can’t chat any longer, I have stuff to do.” You waved him a goodbye and rushed away from him. 
Please let it work.
“What stuff?” 
Alastor teleported himself in front of you scaring the shit out of you.
You screamed and fell right onto your butt.
A stinging pain was growing in that area. 
“Ow! Wtf Alastor!” You looked up at his well-known wide smile and all he did was smirking even wider.
“You know little Angel; you seem to get comfortable in here. I’m glad you like this beautiful hotel! Do you-“
“Darling! Y/n?!” Lucifer called out for you. Interrupting Alastors chat with you, his ears quickly shifted to the well-known voice which was calling for you. 
Lucifer heard your little scream, and he quickly followed the red string feeling that connected the two of you. 
Alastor hummed and disappeared into his own shadows.
Lucifers eyes shifted around the hallway cursing that this place is too large to find you.
Finally he found you lying on your butt unmoving on the floor.
“Are you okay? What happened.” He helped you up to your feet searching for any damage before looking up to you. 
“Yeah, I guess. Just a weird encounter. Don’t worry about it.” Lucifer sighs but didn’t pry any further.
He trusts you that you’ll tell him when something is wrong. 
When you both were lying in your bed, and he was cuddled all up in your lap. 
All you couldn’t help but think about this unease that thrilled behind your head and in your guts.
It was making you sick, as if you got a rare disease.
You played with his angelic golden hair, hoping it will calm that feeling down, to no success.
It didn't help.
You decided to speak up about this, with Lucifer. Maybe this would help.
“Luci?” He hummed, “I have a bad feeling about this.” He sat up, scared that you mean the relationship you two formed.
Fuck I phrased that wrong. You internally screamed at yourself.
“About what?” 
please, please be something else, please. I thought everything is perfect. Lucifer begged in his head.
You looked onto your shelf where the duck he gifted you was resting. A replica from himself just in a duck form.
It glowing in all their might. You loved this duck; it just was so adorable and remind you of Lucifer so much.
“I don’t know, to be honest. Maybe it is the extermination.” You scratched the back of your head.
Lucifer sighs in relief. Thank God it's just that.
“Don’t worry your head about it Apple pie. Nothing will happen to you.”
Oh, how he will regret saying that. 
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A/n: What do you think will Lilith and Michael do with Y/n?
Annnd one final Question:
💫
@ayanazoldyck @marydragneell @lunaryasha @cherry-cola-100 @lxkeee @latersgaters-steven @fandom-crashlanding @cupidsgift @steadyconnoisseurnacho @crimsonflameproxy @stormz369 @wooleypeaches @fukingsad @starlitvenus @avadakadabra93 @itzabbeym @asmodeussimpnumber1 @sirenetheblogger @k1y0yo @i-have-no-life-charlie @angelicwillows
A/n (again):Thank you for all the lovely comments, likes and repost<3 And FOR THE 300 FOLLOWERS DAYUM. We got new pookies❤️
btw I'm sick so if this chapter (or the next) comes later than normal I apologize.
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charliemwrites · 3 months
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Government Asset Soap! This is half of the last part (the smut got too long and I wanted to post this dammit).
So consider this part 4.5? idk it's late.
Usual CW for this series with dubcon, mean Soap, post-trauma coping.
It’s probably a fire hazard, the candles. They’re sprinkled across your little cabin like fireflies, feeble but steady heartbeats of a home you’re failing to build. Too many of them, likely. Two, sometimes three, per room. Tiny tealights, smokeless soy, scented pine. It would be easier, safer, to just turn on the lamps you foolishly invested in.
You can’t bear anything brighter than golden halogen anymore, though. The glare drags you back to a tiny cell bisected by cruel metal, holding back an even crueler fate. No, you’d much rather wade through pools of shadow and firelight, fire code be damned.
It’s a small cabin, but you’ve already cluttered it up with furniture and rugs, a theme for each room. Yellow and blue for the kitchen. Purple and cream for the den. Green and brown for your bedroom. Nooks to hide in, spaces to squeeze into, big shapes to huddle behind. You’ll never be caught out in a cold, barren room ever again.
Your days are long regardless of the time of year. Get groceries in town every day, making a point to be friendly and seen so that someone might notice if you suddenly stop coming. Clean incessantly, so many surfaces to dust. Pick hobbies like daisies. Knitting and crocheting, different paint styles, felting. You’re contemplating carpentry, would like to build shelves for all the books stacked up in the den. Keep a dream journal by your bed that you neglect for weeks at a time.
You draw out the nights until you can count the hours until dawn on one hand. Stay up baking, making homemade ink, learning new ways to style your hair, anything, anything, anything—
It’s not the sleeping – or at least that’s not the worst of it. It’s the waking.
Laswell suggested a cat.
You told her to stop suggesting pussy to unstable people.
But it’s still not a bad idea. Another living thing to keep you accountable; the plants are pretty and time-consuming, but not good company.
You talk yourself out of it every time, knowing the worst-case scenario. It’s not catastrophizing if it actually happens, and you can feel an invisible time weighing on your shoulders like another gravity. Tick, tick, tick. Heavier, heavier, heavier. It’s hard to breathe beneath the wait.
The military doesn’t do apologies. It does platitudes at best. Well wishes and good intentions are painted in brushstrokes of blood. Victory flags are planted on bodies, living or otherwise. Laswell apologized. She swore that if there had been another way – any other way…
She didn’t promise to leave you alone. Didn’t assure you that you’d never see her or her goons again.
If you thought it would do any good, you’d tip one of the candles over and set it all aflame. Rebirth through fire. But you never did figure yourself for a phoenix. And besides, a phoenix is still itself, even when the ash falls away.
So, you spool out your time like picking at tapestry threads, one thin string at time.
Tonight, it’s bread. Cinnamon chocolate babka, to be specific. You were craving something sweet. Are debating the merits of some sort of cream cheese icing while you shower off the long, ever-busy day.
Have decided on an optimistic why not as you slip out to begin your overly complicated self-care routine. Moisturizers, hair oils, lotion. An unexpected benefit of overloading yourself, you suppose. Even when you first got out of the military, you didn’t take such good care of yourself. You have a jogging route now. You’re handling your trauma every possible way except therapy. (And sleeping.) Better than nothing, you figure.
The candles have gone out in your bedroom. You click your tongue in annoyance, trying to remember where you left the matches this time. Bedside table?
You pad across the soft carpet, using the edge of the bed as a guide in the pitch black. The only other problem with candles is that their humble light doesn’t reach very far. But you know this house and keep the floors tidy enough that you’re confident you won’t trip.
Make it to the nightstand without incident and pat around. Knock the side of your hand into the little carton and only just catch it before it hits the deck. Let out a little huff and start to fumble it open.
“Nice catch, bonnie.”
You gasp, but your voice doesn’t get any farther than the back of your tongue. The box slips from your numb fingers, matchsticks scattering across the floor. He tsks.
“Shame that. We’ll get ‘em later.”
You can’t move. Can barely breathe. You’re just frozen, heart thundering with a sudden storm of fear and confusion. Hands still aloft in front of you, spine rigid, knees locked.
You feel more than hear movement behind you, and then the warmth of his body seeping into your naked skin. Not quite touching. Not yet.
“Missed you, little bird,” he rasps in your ear.
You always thought that in a moment like this you would scream. Kick and elbow and fight, damn your certain loss. But when it comes down to it, survival drowns out all those stupid, haughty ideas about pride and dignity. So you don’t curse and shout like you always fancied you would.
You whisper, “Soap.”
He hums but it sounds like a growl in your panicked state. “Missed me too, aye? You’re already naked fer me.”
His hands are searing when they settle on your waist like they belong there. He pulls you back against him; in the dark he’s bigger, broader than you remember. At least, you think, he’s fully clothed for now.
“What are you… how are you here?” you ask.
He barks a laugh, mean and rough. “Was only a matter of time after that shite they pulled.”
You squeeze your eyes shut and see it recreated in the phosphenes behind your lids.
Soap buried balls deep inside of you, murmuring a constant stream of filth as he got harder and harder inside you. Filling you up as you twitched around him, oversensitive and teary, afraid of what would come next.
Then the lights flashed, flicked red. An alarm sounded, Laswell’s voice ordering Soap away from you. But he just snarled and hunched over you, hips snapping to bury himself right back inside while you cried out.
The locked door swung in, armed guards swarming in. Yanked Soap off you while you scrambled to cover yourself. Someone grabbing your arm none too gently to pull you from the room. Soap wild-eyed and snarling like something possessed, until he was overtaken by struggling guards and you were trembling naked in that damned hallway.
“Was mad at you, at first, cannae lie,” he says, almost conversational. Your eyes snap open, though you know it’ll do you no good. “But I’ve had time to think on it. Wasnae yer fault, was it? Saw them drag you out.”
An awful relief floods you. Fuck dignity, fuck honesty. This is Soap right behind you, completely unrestrained and unsupervised.
“Yeah,” you answer, voice small. “I didn’t know they would do that. What… um. What happened to you?”
He presses his face into your damp hair, pressing closer, snaking his arms to squeeze you against him.
“Sent me off on some shite mission,” he explains, “probably hoped I’d die out there. You smell so good, lass.”
You shiver as his breath ghosts over the sensitive skin of your neck. Hot, humid.
“And… and then what?” you insist, trying to stall.
You’re not sure what you’re stalling for. There will be no miraculous saves here – not that you really got any last time. It’s not like there’s any real plan to be made here, either. None that you’d be confident enough to risk his wrath on.
“Disappeared. Took care of business. Came to get my pretty little bird.”
A rough hand trails over the curve of your hip, brush the neat curls of your mound. You suck in a breath, hands twitching with the urge to stop him but not sure of putting up resistance when you’re still unsure of his mental state.
“And what about you, hm?” he rumbles. “Been a good girl while I’ve been away?”
His fingers dart down towards your entrance, not nearly prepared for anything. Least of all his thick digits.
“Y-yes!” you yelp, grabbing at his wrist. Relief makes you dizzy when you manage to stop him. “I-I’ve been good. Which means I’m not… I can’t just take you. I need… I need prep.”
He huffs, nips at the tender spot beneath your ear. The thrill that shoots through your stomach is terrifying.
“That’s what these are for, bonnie.”
And to your horror, he starts to push past your resistance like your staying hands aren’t there at all.
“John!”
He freezes. You shudder air into your burning lungs, feeling dizzy on panic.
You can get through this without pain, just think.
“I haven’t even got to see you,” you stutter, voice shaky. Can’t quite inject the disappointment you’re trying for, but hopefully it’ll work. “And I bet you’re all dirty from travel.”
He grumbles. “So what?”
You scramble to think of a satisfactory response. “S-so let’s get reacquainted in the shower, yeah? That way I can see your handsome face, at least.”
He chuckles, grazes his teeth “playfully” across your cheek. “Bossy thing.”
“You like it.”
And to your shock, he agrees with an amused huff. Hauls you up in his arms and walks you back to the still muggy bathroom. You’re set on your feet and spun around, chin jerked up to receive a savage kiss. All tongue and teeth, no finesse. He’s just licking into your mouth, hungry and animalistic, spit dribbling down your chin.
When he finally pulls away, you blink spots from your vision. Finally focus on his smug features and make a soft, horrified noise when you register the splatter of crimson across them.
“Och, that? My little bird had watchers.”
Of course you did. The horror ebbs a bit. Resentment has made you indiscriminately bitter.
“Oh,” you say, “th-thank you. Definitely glad we’re showering first, then.”
“Squeamish?”
You’d like to know when the world turned upside down and John fucking “Soap” MacTavish began teasing you about the blood on his face.
“A bit,” you admit.
“Poor dear,” he coos. “Hard to believe we were made for each other sometimes, aye? Complementary, we are.”
Is that what he thinks? Christ.
You turn to start the shower again, spine prickling with the weight of his eyes on your back. The water rushes down and then he’s crowding you against the cold wall beneath the (thankfully) warm spray.
“Y-you’re still dressed!” you protest between sharp nips to your collarbone.
“Fix it, then,” he snarls.
You claw his shirt up his back, get momentarily distracted by the impressive display of muscle hidden beneath. Draw your palms over his chest and feel him shudder.
“Fuckin’ heavenly, love,” he purrs. “Missed this.”
A vague memory comes back to you, him gripping you close because he felt you naked against him for the first time. Him admitting he hasn’t had affectionate touch in a while.
This… this you could work with.
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chaoticbardlady99 · 4 months
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I Wondered If I Could Come Home? (Astarion x F! Reader)
Synopsis- It’s been 4 months since you last saw Astarion and 3 months since you killed the Netherbrain with your other companions. Shortly after, you settled down in Silverymoon to begin a life out there and try to push Astarion out of your mind- except it can never be that easy. You shortly discover you are pregnant with his child- a child that could kill you during childbirth. Scared and alone- Shadowheart stays with you to help you deliver the baby and keep you alive.
While out at the local market, Shadowheart runs into Gale and invites him over for dinner. Gale has unexpected company.
CW: Pregnancy, mentions of potential death during birth, mentions of nudity, mentions of NSFW smut
To my fellow DND fans- no this is probably not canon compliant, yes I’m upset about that, but look I really needed to write this so sue me I guess
Author note- Self indulgent, I have baby fever, but don’t want a baby fic. I’m unsure of how long this will be or if it will have more parts-it depends on how angsty I feel, but I need to have like six different ideas to think about at a time soooo 😂
*This hasn’t been edited ✨well✨so please forgive me
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*again, no fucking clue who’s picture it is, but it sure as shit isn’t mine so if it’s yours- reach out so I can give credit!
You keep yourself propped up against the sink in the kitchen as Shadowheart holds your hair out of your face and dabbing away the cold sweat that drips down your neck.
You are really sick of being morning sick. It’s absolutely the worst thing in the world- well besides your potential death from carrying your little girl inside of you. You sometimes think Astarion may get his wish- you may just die screaming.
You dry heave one last time- not a single thing comes up because you haven’t kept a single thing down since two mornings ago. Your morning sickness is inconsistent and comes on with little to no warning.
It’s been five months since you conceived this fricken kid, but it was like all the symptoms hit after you killed the Netherbrain.
A part of you really wishes you had somehow known before then- maybe it would have changed the cruel fate that ended your relationship with Astarion. You were literally pregnant in the middle of fighting Cazador. You think about what he last said to you all the time and just sob hysterically- like it happened yesterday.
A deeper part of you feels abandoned, but you blame yourself for him leaving. You should have been more convincing or maybe you shouldn’t have flat out told him no and explained why in the hells you didn’t want him to ascend.
For example- you didn’t want to lose him to some evil version of himself.
Ironically, you lost him anyway and are pregnant with his fucking child who insists on occasionally making you miserable.
Despite your inherent sadness, anger, and sickness, you find you are actually quite excited to meet her. You haven’t settled on a name yet and Shadowheart has been very helpful in regards to making sure you are healthy and strong for delivery. She’s your best friend and you could not be more grateful for her.
“I’ll go back to the market today and get you more of those herbs,” Shadowheart says quietly when she talks to you, “they seemed to help last time?”
You nod- exhausted and your head is pounding. You and this kid are going to need to have a serious conversation. You will not be letting a second Acunin make you miserable before she is ever born.
Shadowheart guides you to your bed upstairs, standing behind you in case you get hit with a wave of vertigo- which usually happens post vomit episode.
You pull your curtains closed- thankful that the desperate hope in your heart led you to buying black out curtains. You close your door and lay down on your bed- tears spilling down your cheeks freely.
You miss him terribly. You shouldn’t. You should positively hate him, but everyday of this pregnancy makes you ache for him. You should be doing this together.
You know it’s hormones- the weepiness, the intense longing, and the Gods awful horniness. Dreams are the worst. You wake up a squirming disaster at least three times a week with your skin burning hot with memories of Astarion touching you.
You are happy that isn’t the case currently, but the weepiness sucks too. Remembering how he used to curl around you, the way it felt to have him kiss you on the forehead, and all those late night conversations with (now empty) promises. You curl yourself around your pillows, willing your imagination to pretend it’s him, and you sob until you fall asleep.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Astarion tries to contain his excitement and fear as he follows Gale and Shadowheart to your home. Finally, after searching for literal months, he was going to see you again.
Astarion has been haunted by the last words he had said to you for what feels like eons now. He hadn’t meant it at the time and he certainly doesn’t mean it now.
He had been too afraid to come back to you after everything he had said. Astarion decided you probably hate him anyway so he tried to move on.
He tried being with other people (it always failed miserably because they weren’t you), he drank until he couldn’t remember a damn thing, and when all else failed, he began his search for the Ring of the Sunwalker.
After the nightlife of Baldur’s Gate lost it’s appeal and he finally found a ring location, Astarion found himself in front of Gale’s door in Waterdeep- begging him of all people to help him.
The wizard had been puzzled and melancholy when he realized Astarion was at his door. Astarion told him every little piece of how he feels about you, how much he misses you, and how he wants to be able to give you the life that you deserve. Astarion was practically on the verge of hysteria while trying to make his case.
Thus began the search for the Ring of the Sunwalker.
They were able to locate and obtain one after a grueling three month long journey and some help from one of Gale’s old friends. Then, they headed straight to Silverymoon- your last known whereabouts.
Running into Shadowheart had felt like a miracle, but to also have her living with you had made the trip even easier. Except Shadowheart was being really really weird towards him.
When Gale first asked if Astarion could come along too, Shadowheart had asked Astarion why he wanted to come and see the person he “hoped died screaming?”
Astarion had flinched at the anger and venom in Shadowheart’s voice. He figured the others would be mad, but he was hoping maybe Shadowheart would give him a little easier time like Gale had. Astarion was genuinely surprised by how quick she was to be defensive of you and your whereabouts. When Gale confirmed that Astarion was telling the truth, Shadowheart reluctantly said he could come.
The three arrive at the front of your shared townhome- it faces the beach and has the perfect amount of windows for the sun to light up the house, but one of the rooms is hidden from sight with heavy, black out curtains.
Shadowheart turns to both of them, “Tav might not be able to join us… she’s been sick for a bit now and is… recuperating.”
Astarion feels his heart drop to his stomach.
“Sick? For how long?”
Shadowheart shifts on her feet uncomfortably, “5 months, but it got worse around 3 months.”
“Tav has been sick for that long?” Gale exclaims, “why didn’t you write!? I could have helped.”
“This particular affliction is one you wouldn’t understand,” Shadowheart says with a finality that suggests the conversation is done as she leads them into the kitchen.
Shadowheart immediately gets fussing with the herbs while Gale looks around the house. Astarion is still unsure of what he should be doing. The house engulfs him in your scent and he feels positively intoxicated. You must be really sick though because your scent smells different- not bad at all, just different.
Does he talk to Shadowheart? Does he look around with Gale?
Or does he sneak off and find you? Astarion doesn’t want to waste anymore time than he already has. Slowly, he creeps towards the stairs.
“Don’t even think about it, Astarion,” Shadowheart warns.
Astarion looks at her and then back at the stairs. He does this a couple times until Shadowheart appears to be annoyed enough that she’s let her guard down a bit.
Astarion takes off up the steps and he hears Shadowheart and Gale coming up right behind him.
Astarion hears a dry heave from down the hallway and he goes racing for the door.
If you are as sick as Shadowheart has suggested (5 months is crazy long), Astarion may not have much time with you and Gods he needs to take advantage of the time he does have.
Shadowheart be damned.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
You wake up feeling even worse than you did when you fell asleep. Your headache feels like it’s taken on a life on it’s own and Gods you are going to vomit all over the floor if you don’t move NOW!
You get up with an impossible amount of speed for how dizzy you are and you grab the pail on your nightstand and heave painfully.
You are rocking back and forth, groaning as more stomach acid comes up because again, not able to even keep anything down.
You hear a pair of footsteps and then Shadowheart screaming after-
“ASTARION! THEY ARE SICK! YOU NEED TO WAIT!”
“I have been looking for them for months now,” you hear him hiss, “if they are sick, I need to see them. If this has lasted five months- then who knows how much time I’ve wasted!”
“Will you stop being selfish for five minutes!? It’s not about you and who even says she wants to see you!?”
Shadowheart and Astarion are yelling in front of your door now. You feel tears prick your eyes- Astarion is here. Here here. A flurry of excited kicks from inside you catches your attention and a feeling of blissful happiness comes over you. Oh look, the nausea is gone. Of course it is.
“Traitor,” you whisper before laying down on your bed for a moment.
You are very happy that your unborn daughter appears to be pleased and feels good about her dad being on the other side of the door. You, on the other hand, are less than optimistic.
Wasted time doing what? And why did Shadowheart say I was sick!? In what world was that going to keep him from going upstairs!? Especially if he, your mind pauses, cares about me? Again?
Which you hope he does- you would hope Shadowheart wasn’t so sick of taking care of you that she brought him here to finish the job. Maybe this is all one big show.
Another, “I WILL DO WHAT I PLEASE” from Astarion, a “YOU SELFISH BASTARD” from Shadowheart, and a “Please can’t we all just be nice, catch up, and get along?” from Gale finally gives you the motivation to get up. The arguing feels far too much like being in camp again. You pinch the bridge of your nose, willing the growing headache to go away.
It doesn’t so you change into a pair of longer cotton pajama pants, a t-shirt that is unfortunately showing off your bump more than you’d like, and then you swing open the door in tired annoyance.
You are met with Astarion looking at you- his eyes scanning up and down your body- settling on your stomach. His expression is unreadable- it’s somewhere between lust, love, grief, and heartbreak. Embarrassed by Astarion’s intense gaze, you look over at Gale who is all smiles for you.
“Congratulations Tav!!!” Gale practically yells, making you wince, “the father is a lucky man.”
“I don’t think he considers himself a lucky man,” you say pointedly before turning to Astarion, “or do you?”
Astarion’s face changes entirely with your words. His eyes look at you, round and soft. His eyes are full of adoration and need- a look you never thought he would give you again. You have to fight the urge to grab him and drag him into your bedroom. You will not let the hormones win- you will be strong.
“I- it’s- I mean,” Astarion is fumbling over his words, “you are carrying my child?”
“Yes,” you say grumpily, crossing your arms,” and she’s been giving me nothing but trouble. Thanks to your genetics, I’m sure. This is day two of not being able to keep a damn thing down and this fucking headache is UNBEARABLE so please for the love of every God keep the arguing down.”
Astarion is still looking at you with a mystified expression- taking you in as if for the first time in his entire life. You look back towards Gale and Shadowheart- you are entirely too self-conscious and way too excited to see him for him to be looking at you like that. You are trying to be mad dammit!
Shadowheart gazes at you and your surely red tipped ears with amusement before she says, “I’ll go and get the potion ready for you- that should hopefully help.”
“I will- uh,” Gale says awkwardly, looking between you and Astarion, “join you! I might need to know which herbs to use… in the future?”
“Planning on getting pregnant Gale?” You say with a smirk.
Gale snorts at you, “Dear friend, as wonderful as you look right now- none of the side effects sound appealing.”
“Oh they most certainly aren’t,” you say,” but thanks for thinking I look ‘wonderful’. I feel, well, disgusting.”
“Gods, how could you even think that?” Astarion blurts out, appearing shocked that he even said it, “you look like…. A vision. A wonderful, stunning vision, Darling.”
Shadowheart and Gale excuse themselves as you struggle to find the words for Astarion’s comment. Your entire body feels like it’s on fire and you feel yourself begin to melt a little bit. You feel your emotions bloom into something resembling spring as he steps closer to you- looking at you with pleading eyes.
You clear your throat, “would you like to come into my room and talk?”
Astarion nods eagerly, following behind you so close that you once again have to remind yourself that ripping off the clothes of someone who literally told you they wanted you to die screaming was not healthy- at least not until you get a proper apology.
You sit against your headboard as Astarion walks around your room- running his fingers along the bassinet and rocking chair in the corner. You still can’t get a read on him.
“A girl?”
His question breaks the air.
“Yes,” you smile at him, “no name yet though.”
“I’m sure you’ll pick a nice one,” he says with a smile, but his tone is entirely too melancholic.
A painful thump in your heart fills your body with sadness. He doesn’t want to be involved. Of course he doesn’t want to be involved. You are his knocked up ex-girlfriend. What were you expecting? The lump forming in your throat is unbearable.
“You don’t want to be involved?”
Oh good Gods you are crying. Astarion rushes over to you the minute your tears begin to fall- sitting in front of you on the bed. He reaches out and gently wipes your tears away as he speaks.
“I want to be involved so badly it hurts,” his voice comes out scratchy and emotional, “but that is your decision, not mine. You have been on your own for months, my Love. Instead of trying to come back and make it better- I pushed it off until I thought I could give you what you deserved- a life in the sun.”
You almost whine in protest when his hands leave your face. He twists the ring around his index finger before continuing, avoiding your gaze, “But maybe I was wrong. Maybe what you deserve is a person that isn’t so damaged. Someone who can give you what you actually deserve which is a loving partner who hasn’t hurt you over and over again- a man worthy of being a father to ou- I mean your child.”
His confession and the tears that are streaming down his face are enough for you. Yes, you absolutely want to scream and yell at him, but you also ache for him. You can’t fault the man for being a slave for 200 years and then not taking it very well when you told him what to do. You always knew you would forgive him if he came back- you never thought he would, but here he is and like he said- there is no reason to keep wasting time.
“She is our child, Star,” you whisper and guide his eyes to look at you, “I want you to be involved. I don’t care what you think I deserve either. I have missed you so horribly since you left. It’s almost pathetic really. I’ve tried to blame it on the hormones, but… I don’t know. The picture has felt incomplete up until now.”
You absentmindedly put your hand on your stomach- receiving a kick. You glare at the place where your hand is resting.
“Will you stop kicking me for five minutes!?” You scream, “I WAS IN THIS BODY FIRST!”
Astarion looks at you bewildered and confused, but quickly realizes you aren’t talking about him. The smile that spreads across his face is wide and Astarion gingerly moves closer. You are still a little cautious- needing to protect not only yourself, but also your unborn child. He moves to the right of you and goes to move you just slightly so he can slip in behind you.
“Could I? I mean if it’s not crossing any boundaries!”
Astarion is on edge- you can tell that much, but he doesn’t look at you like he did that last time you saw him- Astarion is looking at you like you are the most precious individual who has ever walked this earth.
You nod shyly, and then Astarion slots himself behind you, your back against his chest, his face in the crook of your neck, and his legs on either side of yours. He cautiously puts his hands on your stomach and is immediately kicked.
Astarion laughs with joy, “she’s strong!”
“Strong willed and strong physically,” you shake your head and you are laughing a bit now too, “you may just get your wish yet.”
“What wish?”
It had slipped. You hadn’t meant to bring it up again- or maybe you did. You want to know for sure if he still feels that way, but the confusion in his voice says he doesn’t. You go rigid and go to dismiss it when you feel his posture change behind you, his grip loosening ever so slightly.
“Right… that.”
The silence is nerve-wracking. You’ve lost him again, you are sure of it. A stray tear begins to roll down your cheek.
“Astarion-“
“No, let me think, Darling. I want to make sure I say everything I want to say correctly.”
You continue to sit there in silence, he places soft kisses on your neck. You feel him smile against your skin at the needy moan that escapes your lips. You absentmindedly reach out for one of his hands and begin to play with his fingers while he thinks. Astarion used to let you do this all the time while you were traveling- it helps you feel grounded.
“I was so consumed by all that power in the moment,” he says slowly, “I wasn’t thinking. By the time I had realized what I had done, I felt like it was already too late- you most likely hated me and moved on.”
You have to bite your tongue- you want to scream. Hate him? Never. You had been miserable without him around for that last month of traveling. Your heart had felt like a dead weight in your chest and you had been moving around like a zombie.
“So I tried to move on… I even tried to be with others, but I just couldn’t do it. It’s selfish, but I want you. I never want anything bad to happen to you- I certainly don’t ever want you to die screaming. I don’t want you to ever carry a child that is not mine.”
You are surprised by the warmth in your core when he says his last sentence. There is something so primal there that you have to really focus on what he is saying next.
Astarion clears his throat before finishing speaking, “I don’t want to be without you anymore- four months is too long. I don’t want to miss out on anymore of your pregnancy and I want to be here for you- with you- doing this together like we should have been doing this whole time. I was a horrible fool- please give me another chance. Please, Darling. I love you- so so much more than I ever thought anyone could ever love someone.”
Astarion’s words hang in the air and you are trying not to begin crying for the 15th billion time. This is what you had wanted to hear all along. You can feel his tears on the collar of your shirt- the way he inhales as if to memorize your scent like this is the last time. Astarion is not expecting you to say yes- you know that because he’s starting to loosen up, pulling away from you so that he can respect your decision.
“I love you too,” you whisper, “I don’t want to be without you anymore either. I forgive you- please stay.”
“I won’t be going anywhere unless you want me too, my Love.”
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youryanderedaddy · 2 months
Text
tw: female reader, emotional abuse, conditioning, hinted loss of voice, objectification, degradation, Adam is his own warning
Today you had to scream. You don't even remember why, perhaps you saw a bug or a spider, something trivial and meaningless, something that shouldn't have been terrifying, not to you - not after everything you've been through.
Yet you have to scream - it is but a physical reaction. And then... nothing. Nothing comes out. Absolutely no sound. Not a murmer, not even a gasp. You feel his hands wrap around you from behind - at first you think that he has covered your mouth, that he has forced his fingers deep inside your throat just like he has done so many times in the past. But no, he's simply hugging you - resting his head against your shoulder.
"Ssh, baby, it's fine. I'll take care of it." Adam whispers before his fist comes crashing down onto the poor little insect, splashing the black - green insides all over the table. You almost felt bad for your initial panic - by now you should know that to him the only answer is violence, always. You have single - handedly brought this fate onto the innocent unsuspecting animal, and all because of your stupid fear.
And even with the guilt, you still want to scream - but this time out of pity. Regret. Out of bitter realization.
"Aww, darling, don't cry." Your captor coos gently, caressing your hair. For a second you can see his long fingers flash before your eyes before they rub your sticky tears into your skin. It's weirdly invasive - you feel naked despite the layers upon layers of clothes you have on. "You know what happens when you cry-" He suddenly grips your chin, squeezing it roughly, but that's hardly a surprise. He loves to see his own fingerprints on your skin. "Don't you?"
You nod. You wish you wouldn't have to. You wish you were still the same naive girl you were a few months ago - a few moments ago, when you could still pretend you didn't understand what was happening. What he was trying to do to you, to your body, little by little; one step at a time.
"Of course you know. My clever girl." His grip softens, but never wavers, and he kisses your hair with feverish content. "You know crying leads to whimpers, and whimpers lead to-" The man smirks in that nasty perverse way you've grown to despise, reaching to fix the bulge in his trousers. "Well, aside from getting my cock fuckin' hard, they sometimes make your throat tighten. It tightens so much you think you're going to choke." His eyes return to you, black like the winter sky. "Isn't that right, baby?"
You're forced to nod again, a fresh new wave of warm tears soaking your collar as you try to ignore the very feeling he's describing to you.
"And then you need to make it unclench, so you speak - well, attempt to." Adam runs a single cold digit across the length of your neck, stopping only to poke at the dent in the middle of your collarbone. "And we both know that's a big no - no, right, baby?" He kisses your neck, a contrast to the cruel, humiliating condescension in his deep, guttural voice. It makes your stomach turn, but you can't do anything. You can't sob. You can't even shout for help - not anymore. "No, no, no." He continues, explaining it as if you're just a silly child. "Worthless little sluts who break their owners' hearts don't get to use big adult words. They remain silent, to be seen and not heard."
He keeps touching you - that's the worst part. He keeps kissing you, embracing you, holding you close just like a lover would. It makes you feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. It makes you want to cling onto the only creature close to you, even if it's just a monster wearing a human mask - a monster set to hurt you with everything it possesses. A monster, set to build you up every time it breaks you down.
"This little mouth of yours has only one use now - to keep my dick nice and warm." Adam mumbles, keeping you in place once it all gets too much. You struggle against him until you tire yourself out. You're dizzy. You're starving. You haven't slept in days - so realistically you don't stand a chance. But fighting means life. Fighting means you might have lost your voice, but you haven't lost your will. Your humanity. "So go ahead, doll. Entertain me. Scream for me."
And for once you want to obey him - you want to scream from deep within your lungs, so you open your mouth, and then you close it, pretending that your voice could break the fragile glass and reach someone somewhere who cares.
The silence is deafening.
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shanieveh · 6 months
Text
— "what letters?"
; genshin men writing letters for a year only to have no reply
WRIOTHESLEY who fails to hinder his bitter stance upon seeing you after all these years, your face filled with bruises and tarnishes, once so spotless and clean. He wrote to you everyday, he loved you. Where were you when he needed you? But all those negative emotions can't stop his embrace, your scent still smelled like home.
Then forced in this prison by injustice, he finally became content. He didn't care about your guilty begging about not seeing his letters, he was just glad that this hell became heaven because of your embrace.
NEUVILLETTE whos drawers are filled with drafts of unsent letters, with no sender nor a promised reply. Some call him a mad man for writing these, but many turn a sympathetic view on him. After all, we all have our ways of grieving don't we? Even after all this time, why was he still expecting your reply?
He sometimes imagined the you knew of these confessions, of these intimate moments that was all in his mind. He would've forgave you in a heartbeat for not writing back. But now he stays right where you left him.
ALHAITHAM looks at your sobbing face right next to the crumpled papers. You thought he didn't care... that he moved on... that he never loved you—he did. He was in love with you. Each letter showing the longing you thought was one sided. He loved you like it was the most freeing thing he had.
And now it's over, as you look at him in the altar, knowing full well you already had your chance. He said it was too late... but you knew it was because he was never yours to begin with.
SCARAMOUCHE who was fuming at your false accusations only to realize that in all those months he wrote as if it was the only thing he had. None of those ever went back to you. How could fate be so cruel? As his cold eyes gave you a warm embrace. He was just glad... his soul found its other half.
After all the pain and suffering, the torture and madness. You both can finally be at peace, and no longer was hatred in his heart.
LYNEY's heart broke at your clueless expression. You didn't know... anything? The time. The passion. The pain. You were left to think that he never cared. He did. You were left to hate him, to find another, fate really let the greatest love of his life go away. As you begin to read it all, the past that you left behind. The path you didn't take.
It hurt. To see someone who waited, to see someone you love. To imagine the life you could've had. With the person you knew would treat you right.
KAVEH was a forgotten memory in your head, you grew old, you found someone new and now you are enjoying your life free from the burdens of youth. But as you look at the hidden treasure box at your old shared apartment, you saw the trinkets of your past and read the letters of his love. ...
...
His words felt like it described that of an alluring painting. You didn't even remember his face, the sound of his voice, but the feeling he gave you felt all the same. If only you could save him, if only he didn't let you go.
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jakethesequel · 1 year
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Welcome back to Tumblr's Poorest Wettest Saddest Littlest Meow Meow Competition! Before we announce the final verdict, let's see how our "lovely" contestants are doing backstage!
VRISKA SERKET, hailing from welcoming Homestuck, is in the blue corner! She's a TROLL, a TELEPATH, and a THIEF. She has also attained GODHOOD, and I'm informed she did nothing wrong! Just off the heels of a dramatic loss in the recent Tumblrwoman Election, she deeply resents being trapped in this narrative device!
Her attire today is plain by Earth standards, but well put-together by ALTERNIAN ones. Nevertheless, she has been known to dress up on occasion, particularly in the colors of her ANCESTOR, the Marquise Spinneret Mindfang!
She is extraordinarily determined, and extremely manipulative. She will do anything she can to make herself into the hero her story needs, consequences be damned. Her actions have made her the source of eternal, vitriolic discourse. Some believe her entirely justified, some believe her a heartless villain, and others believe everything in between; every one steadfast and passionate about their specific stance! Love her or hate her: VRISKA!!!!!!!!
HARRIER DU BOIS, also known as HARRY, sometimes referring to himself as RAPHAEL AMBROSIUS COSTEAU or THE REINCARNATION OF KRAS MAZOV, is here representing scenic Disco Elysium! He is a DETECTIVE, an ALCOHOLIC, a recent AMNESIAC, and a WASTE of ENERGY. Having just recently recovered from an attempt at drinking himself to death, we thought inviting him to compete might raise his spirits some! Unfortunately he does not seem to be totally aware of his surroundings, as he has already tried to touch himself twice on air!
His garish and mismatched clothes are STAINED with seemingly every substance a human body can produce. His face is locked in an EXPRESSION that can only induce disgust and discomfort in those who view it.
The few memories he can draw from his fractured mind paint him as violent, selfish, cruel, and pitiful. He has been trying to get over a breakup for six years, and has only partially succeeded through near-total retrograde amnesia. Worst of all, he's still somehow a decently successful cop. He has no friends and few allies on Revachol, with perhaps the sole exception of the impossibly patient and composed Lt. Kim Katsuragi. Even among his fans, you'd be hard pressed to find one who'd defend him, and ever harder pressed to find one willing to stand in the same room as him. Nevertheless, from the safe distance of fiction, let's hear it for HARRY!
In but a few moments, the doors in front of them will open, and they will be able to approach the trophy onto which we have engraved the name of the winner. 5… 4… 3… 2…
AND THE WINNER IS: VRISKAAAAAAAA SERKET!
Vriska: WH8T THE FUCK.
Vriska: WHAT THE F8CK!!!!!!!!
Vriska: I WON THIS????????
Vriska: You pieces of shit can't supp8rt me to win ag8inst some lanky rain8bow-drinking 8itch, 8ut 8eat one-in-fuck8ng 16777216 odds to win poorest, wettest, saddest, littlest g8ddamn meow8east?
Logic [Easy:Success]: She won. That means we lost.
Conceptualization [Challenging:Failure]: Another loss in a long, long line of losses.
Pain Threshold: You've gotten used to the feeling by now. Losing something barely even hurts anymore.
Endurance: You still carry each one with you. Well, except…
Volition: Not now. Not yet.
Authority [Medium:Success]: This doesn't have to stay a loss. Stare the girl down. Challenge her. Don't let this be taken from you.
Wait, what *is* she doing, anyway?
Perception: The grey girl seems to be shouting at someone, but there's no one else here.
Vriska: FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
Inland Empire [Godly:Success]: The unseen audience, the string-pullers of fate. The sadistic writer terrorizing their creation. The storybook itself, the confines it sets. She has seen the death of the author, and needs more.
Empathy [Medium:Failure]: What's got her so upset?
Harry: Is there something wrong with you?
Vriska: I'm not taking that from a walking dumpster, asshole!
Suggestion: There's still time to fix this. Say something nice, quickly.
Harry: I just mean, you seem upset. I thought you'd be celebrating your win. It’s a big accomplishment, right?
Vriska: Are you kidding?
Drama: Are we, sire? Should we be, perhaps?
Vriska: You thought I’d 8e cele8r8ing this? A vote for the most pitia8le, pathetic person in paradox space? I’m not so desper8 to fill my pity quadrant that I need to resort to CROWDFUNDING! That’s like the lowest form of 8egging!
Electrochemistry: You are that desperate. Don’t think we're above begging for it, piggy.
Conceptualization [Easy:Success]: Oh. This was not a contest one wants to win. Maybe our loss was for the best.
Vriska: And I WON!!!!!!!! With this kind of competition, HOW did I get all the votes? All of them!
Reaction Speed [Trivial:Success]: "This kind of competition?" She’s talking about you! Say something!
Harry: It was a tight race. You fought with honor.
Vriska: IT SH8ULDN’T HAVE FUCKIN8 8EEN!
Vriska: Look at you! What the fuck kind of su8juggl8or suit are you wearing? Did someone 8leed on it?
Savoir Faire: No, no, this outfit is *cool*. You just have to give it a little *disco*, man.
Strike a pose.
Vriska: …
Vriska: You can’t seriously think any of that is appealing.
Vriska: Your clothes look like they were dragged out of 8 different gar8age 8ins.
Vriska: You couldn’t 8e more greasy and stained if you drowned in a pail of 8rooding slurry. From the st8 of your body, you actually might have!
Physical Instrument: I told you. You need to cultivate more mass.
Composure [Challenging:Failure]: Please, don’t start crying in front of a teenager.
You realize that you already have.
Vriska: Are you seriously crying right now? I might not 8e an expert on the human metamorphological process 8ut you definitely aren’t a pupa anymore. Shit, you look like you’re halfway dead already. Grow up, Pupa Pan!
Endurance: You need to stop this, now, before you break down further.
Harry: Fuck off, fucking spidery bitch! Leave me alone!
Vriska: Wow. I don’t think I’ve seen a grown man act this pathetic 8efore. How the hell did you not win this!?!?!?!? Do you even have a single thing going for you?
Esprit De Corps: You have a badge and a gun. You are a Detective Lieutenant-Yefreitor of the RCM. At least for now, you have that.
Harry: I’m a pretty good fucking cop.
Vriska: There are no good cops you dum8 8itch!
Authority: Make her stop.
Vriska: I’ve known you less than a minute and you already disgust me. I feel 8ad for the people that actually have to 8e near you.
Half Light: Do what you have to do and do it now.
Vriska: You deserved to win this. I don’t know how you can live like that. 8ack home you would have 8een culled sweeps ago.
Hand Eye Coordination [Legendary:Success]: You have never fired a shot so quickly or instinctually. You didn’t even know your gun was loaded. You pulled it out the way a cat scratches a hand, or a drunk pisses himself. You don’t remember when violence became second nature to you, but you didn’t forget how to do it either.
Harry: Oh, God.
Perception (Sight): Is that blood… blue?
Visual Calculus [Legendary:Success]: Light swirls and shimmers around the girl’s body, flashing a technicolor code you cannot decipher. Her body floats into the air, and her eyes flash open. All eight of them.
Inland Empire: No justice. No heroism. Just mindless violence.
Half Light: RUN.
Vriska: OW!
Vriska: Oh no you fucking don’t!!!!!!!!
(♏) Volition [Impossible:Failure]: You try to run, but your will is seemingly powerless to drive your body. I’m sorry.
Physical Instrument: Don’t look at me. I’m in great shape.
Interfacing: Connections seem fine. Don’t tell me we have to unplug him again…
♏Vriska♏: What the fuck.
Harry: Wh-wh-what are you doing to me?
Vriska: Shut up I’m trying to f8cus!
Inland Empire: Welcome, Thief of Light.
♏Vriska♏: What the hell is wrong with you?
Encyclopedia: Severe alcoholism. Retrograde amnesia. Partial facial paralysis. Dehydration. Heart palpi- (♏)
♏Vriska♏: 8e quiet, 8ook8rain! I’m trying to rifle through memories here and it’s a MESS!
Interfacing: We haven’t quite organized since our recent… restructuring. Try the thought cabinet.
Rhetoric: Don’t tell her that!
♏Vriska♏: Too late, sucker! Found it!
♏Vriska♏: …
♏Vriska♏: …
♏Vriska♏: …
♏Vriska♏: Jegus christ.
♏Vriska♏: In pu8lic? Why would you—
♏Vriska♏: Ugh!
♏Vriska♏: You said THAT?
♏Vriska♏: There was a8solutely no reason to do ANY of that, what the hell!
♏Vriska♏: You should honestly just kill yourself if you’re going to keep 8eing such a fuckup!
Reaction Speed: Yes!
Logic: Sound. You should kill yourself.
Empathy: It would make everyone feel better.
Endurance: Hasn’t this all gone on long enough?
Savoir Faire: It’s a hell of a statement.
Drama: The noble sacrifice, like Romeo, like Juliet!
Rhetoric: You should kill yourself NOW!
Authority: She has bested you. Listen to your better.
Half Light: Anything to get away from her.
Volition: …
♏Vriska♏: Can you creeps 8e normal for two damn seconds?
MORALE CRITICAL
The light fades from your eyes, and you fall to the floor.
Shivers: You are being called back where you belong....
Kim: Yes, Lieutenant. A fascinating dream. I’m sorry you did not win the competition.
Harry: What do you think it means, Kim? Do you think it could be some kind of message? Should I try to find that girl?
Kim: “That girl?”
Harry: Yeah! Vriska!
Kim: No, Lieutenant. I do not think you should go looking for Vriska Serket from Homestuck. Perhaps try looking for the killer in our murder case?
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