#but it became 11 fucking k words anyway

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 31

chapter 50: (15 chapters left)

1. oh SHIT the girls are fighting (sirius and regulus are at each other with nails and hair pulling)

2. “It's mean. It's nails and hair-pulling and brutal in the way only siblings can be. In mere seconds, they've both made each other bleed, and they don't seem inclined to stop there.”

i think the arena allowed them to do this, but they’ve been ready to go at each other like this for AGES. cause like, i want to go at my siblings like this sometimes. and then go watch tv together after

3. 😬😶 sirius just found out reg is a death eater

4. 😬😬 it was just revealed that reg did NOT in fact kill Coen. yikes dude

5. “"You're a fucking death eater?!" Sirius snarls as he dodges Yaxley's elbow.

"Yeah, it doesn't feel good, does it?!" Regulus snarls back ……

"How is this even comparable, you little shit?!"”

😭😭😭 plsss he’s so funny

6. damn, when sirius was fighting the others, he wasn’t going full force, cause he was having an emotional conversation. but he was still winning. and then he gets tired of fighting so he just in like two swift moves kills two people. jfc he’s scary.

7. “"I was going to lose James anyway, don't you get it?! I never even really got to have him! But you—I got you back. I had you back, and you took that from me. You weren't—you promised you wouldn't do that. How could you do that, after I—I begged you not to? And for what? Me? You think you did it for me? No, you did it for you. You tossed me aside, and it's not even the first time!"”

😧😧😧 holy shit, he just went right at it

8. “Grow up, Regulus."

"You won't let me!"”

😧 jaw on the freaking GROUND

9. jfc this fight is brutal. i think it would hurt less for them to just kill the other. cause like, these words hurt even ME

10. “"What I regret most isn't that you broke your promise, Sirius," Regulus continues. "It's that I wasted time caring enough to ask for a promise from you at all."”

yoooo wtf wtf wtf this HURTS

11. “”Let me guess, you told them only you could kill me? Something like that, yeah?"”

😭😭 sirius guessed it right and reg is like ‘😳 no…. i never said that. why would i say that?’

12. reg is like “😡😡😡 I HATE YOU” and sirius is like “liar ☺️”

13. i bet the entire hallow is on the edge of their seat watching this like the highest quality entertainment. no way has anything been this juicy in the arena for AGES

14. YOO WTF REG THATS OUT OF POCKET. HE JUST THREATENED TO HURT REMUS. MY DEAR, THATS YOUR FRIEND TOO! YOU CANT DO THAT!! LITTLE BITCH!

15. god, regulus is actually about to say it and just goes after regulus. like, hardly holding back. holy shit

16. “Sirius, for the first time, doesn't believe in his brother. Because Regulus wants to say Remus' name, and that would hurt Sirius more than dying by Regulus' hand.”

god, just stab me in the heart why don’t ya?

17. 😧 dagger raised above his head, ready to strike down in reg’s chest and just can’t. and then as he’s about to kill him, regulus says he loves sirius. good god, i’m actually crying so hard rn

18. “He can see it, suddenly. It does become clear, then, all at once. Regulus did trick him. He did fool him. Just not in the way Sirius was prepared for. He never imagined this at all.

Regulus never intended to go home.”

BAWLING LIKE A BIG BABY RN

19. “"Don't, please don't do this to me. Sirius, please just—please do it, or let me do it. Don't make me live without you, please don't, Sirius—””

YOU WOULD THINK THAT THE SADDEST THING HAS ALREADY BEEN SAID, BUT NO!!! IM SOBBING HARDER!! AND I HAVE A FINAL EXAM IN HALF AN HOUR

20. “It's horrible, because the arena has brought Regulus back to him twice, once when Regulus became a Victor and right this very second, but for Regulus, all the arena does is take Sirius away.”

BAWLING LIKE A BABY

21. oh SHIT james did not leave them a note this time

22. god, it hurts knowing that sirius doesn’t trust reg with a dagger. not because sirius is scared reg will turn on him, but that reg will kill himself

23. “"It has to be you, okay? It has to, because I don't want to go home if I'm not going home with you. I—I just don't see the point."”

that freaking HURTS

24. this entire chapter hurt like a fucking BITCH

[naalbinder]

phoebe bridgers // elliott smith parallels

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4BEfu6YZ7XbdHFZBXthIpN?si=6bf8fc460eba4d33

E - Riot Coming - “Sat down in jail with this friend of mine/Who'd never close both his eyes/But one was shut all the time/To cover the thing he was scared of”

E - Stupidity Tries “To sail across the sea of trash”

E - Going nowhere - “The old records are sitting on the floor/The ones I can’t put on anymore”

E - Clementine - “Anything to pass the time/And keep that song out of your mind”

P - Smoke Signals - “One of your eyes is always half-shut/Something happened when you were a kid” - “burning trash out on the beach” - “You said that song'll creep you out until you're dead”

E - Miss Misery - (music videos on the same street)

E - Easy way out - “While I watch you making mistakes/I wish you luck I really do” “I heard you found another audience to bore”

E - Looking Over My Shoulder - “Another sick rock ‘n’ roller acting like a dick”

E - Placeholder - “I'm the person you'll never need/The biggest loser on sixteenth street” - “Just like my favourite song/Some pretty words that didn't last that long”

P - Motion Sickness - “I'll be glad that I made it out/And sorry that it all went down like it did” “You said when you met me, you were bored” - “Hey, why do you sing with an English accent?/I guess it's too late to change it now”

E - Some Song - “Help me kill my time cause I'll never be fine”

P - Funeral - “Jesus Christ i'm so blue all the time/And that's just how i feel/Always have and i always will ”

E - Bled White - “Happy and sad come in quick succession/I’m never going to become what you became”

P - Demi Moore - “I got a good feeling/It doesn't happen very often”

E - St Ides Heaven - “With an open container from 7/11”

E - A Fond Farewell - “A fond farewell to a friend”

P - Scott Street - “With an open heart, open container” - “Anyway, don’t be a stranger / don’t be a stranger”

E - Last Call - “And I think I’m all done, you can switch me off safely/While i’m lying here for sleep to overtake me”

E - Roman Candle - “I’m a roman candle/My head is full of flames ”

P - Killer - “But when I’m sick and tired/And when my mind is barely there/When a machine keeps me alive/And I’m losing all my hair/I hope you kiss my rotten head/And pull the plug” - “Tame the fire in you”

E - Georgia Georgia

P - Georgia - “Georgia, Georgia, I love your son”

E - Twilight - “That you are already somebody’s baby”

E - See you later - “Made out of a night train”

E - King’s Crossing - “Instruments shine on a silver tray”

P - Chelsea - “You are somebody’s baby” - “For a chemical imbalance/You sure know how to ride a train” - “With a needle on a tray”

E - Christian Brothers - “No bad dream fucker's gonna boss me around/Christian brothers gonna take him down”

P - Would you rather - “Quarantined in a bad dream/He's half the man and you're twice as tall”

E - Son of Sam - “Son of Sam, son of a doctors love a nurses touch/Acting under orders from above”

P - You Missed My Heart - “A feeling of relief came over my soul/I couldn't take it any longer, and I lost control”

E - Bye - (instrumental)

E - New Monkey (Instrumental)

P - DVD Menu - (instrumental)

E - Coming up roses - “And you're coming up roses everywhere you go/Red roses follow”

E - Rose Parade - “Said, Won't you follow me down to the Rose Parade?”

P - Garden Song “They're gluing roses on a flatbed/You should see it, I mean thousands”

E - Condor Ave - “I don’t know what to do with your clothes or your letters”

E - Baby Britain - “Fights problems with bigger problems/Sees the ocean fall and rise/Counts the waves that somehow didn’t hit her/Water pouring from her eyes/Alcoholic and very bitter”

E - Say Yes - “I'm in love with the world/Through the eyes of a girl/Who's still around the morning after”

E - Seen How Things Are Hard - “You just didn't care/You were off getting drunk instead”

E - The Biggest Lie - "Oh, I just told the biggest lie/ I just told the biggest lie/The biggest lie"

P - Kyoto - “And you wrote me a letter/But I don't have to read it” - “I wanted to see the world/Then I flew over the ocean/And I changed my mind” - “I wanted to see the world/Through your eyes until it happened/Then I changed my mind” - “I'm gonna kill you/If you don't beat me to it” - "Guess I lied/I'm a liar/Who lies/'Cause I'm a liar"

E - Memory Lane - “Your little house on memory lane ”

E - Angel in the Snow - “Angel in the snow/all crushed out on the way you are”

E - Last Call - “And I wanted her to tell me that she would never wake me”

E - New Monkey - “For the millions of fans ignoring the bands”

E - Waltz #2 - “I'm never gonna know you now/But I'm gonna love you anyhow”

E - Amity - “I'm a neon sign and I stay open all the time”

P - Punisher - “The house where you lived with Snow White” - “But never not sweet to the trust funds and punishers” - “What if I told you/I feel like I know you?/But we never met” - “The drugstores are open all night/The only real reason I moved to the east side”

E - Some Song - “Yeah it's halloween tonight and every night”

E - Pitseleh - “I got a joke I've been dying to tell you/A silent kid is looking down the barrel/To make the noise that I kept so quiet”

P - Halloween - “Baby, it's Halloween” - “I hate living by the hospital/The sirens go all night/I used to joke that if they woke you up/Somebody better be dying”

E - Shooting Star - “So bad, so far/You made me sad/Shooting star/You're distant and cold/And a sight to behold/Everybody just sighs”

E - Satellite - “When they call it a lover's moon, the satellite/'Cause it acts just like lovers do, the satellite/A burned-out world you know/Staying up all night/The satellite”

E - Everything Reminds Me of Her - “Why are you staring into outer space, crying?/Just because you came across it and lost it”

P - Chinese Satellite - “Took a tour to see the stars/But they weren't out tonight/So I wished hard on a Chinese satellite” - “Sometimes, when I can't sleep/It's just a matter of time before I'm hearing things” b- “Instead, I look at the sky and I feel nothing/You know I hate to be alone/I want to be wrong”

E - Coast to Coast - “Still you're keeping me around/'Til I finally drag us both down (Gonna drag us both down)”

E - Little one - “The moonlight tonight/Seems to belong to me” - “One more/Little one, I love you”

E - Coming up Roses - “The moon is a sickle cell/It'll kill you in time” “While the moon does its division/You're buried below”

E - Everything Means Nothing to Me - “At attention, looking backward in a pool of water/Wishes with a blue songbird on his shoulder/Who keeps singing over everything”

E - Pretty Mary K (Other Version) - “oh Mary K, I can see your face/down there in the waves, painted and erased/but I know it's just a reflection of the moon”

P - Moon song - (52) “You asked to walk me home/But I had to carry you” - (53) “And if I could give you the moon/I would give you the moon” - (54) “You are sick and you're married/And you might be dying” - (55/56) “And you pushed me in/And now my feet can't touch the bottom of you” “But you're holding me like water in your hands/When you saw the dead little bird”

E - New Disaster - “Everybody is the same in this long no-win game/Where every new blood/Gets time to become resigned” - “Until everyone knows that your smile is just a ghost/The ghost of your smile was seen on a body in the park”

P - Savior Complex - “Baby, you're a vampire/You want blood and I promised” - “All the bad dreams that you hide/Show me yours, I'll show you mine”

E - Oh well, Ok - “If you get a feeling next time you see me/Do me a favor and let me know/Cause it's hard to tell, it's hard to say 'oh well, Ok'”

E - Last Call - “You're a tongueless talker/You don't care what you say”

E - Angel in the Snow - “Only a cold still life/ that fell down here to lay beside you”

P - ICU - (58) “But I feel something when I see you now/I feel something when I see you” - (59) “I hate your mom/I hate it when she opens her mouth/It's amazing to me/How much you can say/When you don't know what you're talking about” - “laying down on the lawn” “if you’re a work of art/I’m standing too close/I can see the brush strokes”

E - Happiness / The Gondola Man - “What I used to be/Will pass away and then you'll see/That all I want now/Is happiness for you and me”

E - Whatever (Folk Song in C) - “Whatever you're doing now would probably suit me fine/If you're all done, like you said you'd be/What are you doing hanging out with me?”

E - Big Ballad of Nothing - “You can do what you want to whenever you want to/You can do what you want to there's no one to stop you”

P - Graceland too - “Said she knows she lived through it to get to this moment” - “Whatever she wants (Whatever you want)”

E - Bottle up and Explode “Bottle up and go/I can make it outside”

E - A Distorted Reality is Now a Necessity to be Free - “God knows why my country don't give a fuck” - “Shine on me baby, because it's raining in my heart”

E - Alphabet Town - “Alphabet City is haunted”

P - I Know The End - “There's no place like my room” - “To some America First rap country song” “Driving out into the sun/Let the ultraviolet cover me up”- “I'll find a new place to be from/A haunted house with a picket fence”

[honoredbastard]

ෆ self indulgent and entilted

characters — bonten!rindou haitani  + *yakuro nanami (oc) .

content and warnings   — mentions of drugs ( yo sanzu ), clubbing, stalker mention, mention(s) of drugging, yelling, angst(?), swearing, and so on.

note  — sorry for the dark content hhhhh, it came with the idea of ackerman being a yakuza that hated bonten and wanted yakuro gone. it may actually be apart of the fic i’m outlining..... these men hold my heart and WILL NOT LET GO OF IT. also they just like dive into my brain 24/7. help i had a fit over what looked best for three hours- at this point i’mma probably make a lil sum’ for sanzu. i love this man and i can’t stop having him appear in my stories that involve bonten. like this guy is 24/7 in the back of my mind.

                                         *Yakuro Nanami.                                            he/they/bun! 

                  Now playing ayanami  — by satin

rindou woke up first to yakuro wearing his bunny ears and a bunny pajama set that he seemed to just slip on before marching into bed. it was cute, but there was still smudges of makeup on his face and the dark circles of terrible inconsistent sleep. rindou sighed, brushing away blonde parts of hair that yakuro was chewing on. 

“yakuro.” rindou lightly pushed yakuro’s shoulder, trying to wake the boy in his semi bunny work attire. “rindou? rindou....” yakuro groaned, his head searched for rindou’s lap or hand that he could lean into. just exist near, to feel his skin and be aware of his warmth, that he was alive and not dead. that he stayed the whole night. “morning doll.” rindou smiled quietly, brushing his fingers over the boy’s hair. 

there was a knock on the door, “come in” as if that was a full offer to entangle himself with the couple he busted through the door and made a running start to jump onto the couple. “HI!” “i don’t do the touching, i’ll sit and pour you your drink and be your personal bunny. please treat the bunny well and we will have no problems. if they bunny feels uncomfortable the bunny has full rights to leave and find a new client. if you understand these rules please enjoy your bunny.”

yakuro stated as if he was at work. it was grilled into his brain and always had to repeat it infront of new clients. working at a bunny suit club was not it, almost rolling over onto sanzu. “bad work day?” “bad work day.” rindou confirmed sanzu’s suspicions with three simple  words. “yaku..” “no.” “yakuuu.” sanzu scooted in between the two, poking yakuro’s cheeks aggressively. he seemed sober, thank god. 

rindou shrugged the mans presence off and trudged to the bathroom to wash and whatnot. “you have another shift, ran told me to wake you up. “that’s not my problem. tell my boss to go fuck himself with a dildo filled with nails.” sanzu’s eyes widened, that was aggressive. although at the same time sorta funny?

“he said he’d cut off your shift times and cut back on how much money you make plus tips.” sanzu repeated what ran had informed him of, with a quite frustrated appearance.  “THAT FUCKER WILL NOT!” raising up from his laying position, yakuro ran into the hallway stumbling here and there from improper pace. 

“i’d love to see him try i swear if he even tries reducing my pay i’ll quit the whole fucking job how about that? i never liked this bullshit bunny shit anyways, it’s annoying when the customers try to touch and then you get stalkers.” yaku was mumbling to hell and back from his bosses call, waving to ran who nodded. making himself a bento before heading off on a small mission.

yaku threw open the washroom door and started searching for his bunny suit attire. the club’s theme was rainbow today so he washed a deep red suit with a black add-on tail and clip on black ears (which were foldable too. yakuro always folds one ear.) when yakuro made it back to his room, sanzu was gone and rindou was crouching near the bottom drawer.

“whatcha lookin for?” yakuro asked curiously, sitting beside the man who made a mess beside him “looking for a red suit now, i’m trying to match with you subtly.” cute- that was the only thinking yaku could think of this man who is a part of a criminal organization/gang. who woulda thought?

“i think you might be better with either a red with black tie or a deeper red of a suit.” yakuro suggested, getting up from his sitting position, joints cracking. “or black would go well, after all i’m only wearing red heel, a red body suit, and red makeup. the rest is black!” yakuro called out to rindou who was still crouched as he exited the room. taking into account his suggestions, he went with a more black with red accents attire.

           ާlocation, bunny palace! ෆ             late night, 11pm.

“here in bunny palace we have many bunnies to suit your taste! male, female, and even those who do not define themselves! run and created by the ackermans.” bunny palace is under the hands of those with the ackerman name. mikasa, the current owner, is softer on us than many. although the music blaring is not something you can get used to.

“hello! i’m moonie! it’s so good to meet you, are you new here?” yakuro was tired, it was about 4 more hours until he shift ended and he was already hungry again. salad’s really don’t fill you up especially when you wolf them down. his feet ached and cried out each time he took another step, he wanted to lay down and use rindou as his personal body pillow.... rindou! ‘i hope he’s okay.’ he thought, placing himself beside the very important client his boss claimed. “oh i am! it’s nice too meet you moonie.”

“it’s so good to meet you too! we have a few rules here that our bunnies tell each new client: i’ll sit and pour you your drink and be your personal bunny. please treat the bunny well and we will have no problems. if they bunny feels uncomfortable the bunny has full rights to leave and find a new client. if you understand these rules please enjoy your bunny. please keep touching to a minimal. do not force your bunny drinks or food. respect your bunny. is that doable?” yakuro asked with big puppy eyes, a big smile, and high pitched voice. “of course!” the customer happily said, hand already on his thigh.

i am SO uncomfortable was all that yaku could think about, his eyes flicking between the customer and each place his gross hands laid upon. squeezing every-so often like it was a pleasuring act for yaku. before he removed the man’s hand, he restrained himself. drawing a large breath before responding to the customer. “i’m so sorry sir! shall i get you something to drink?” yaku pouted, “if you’d like, moonie!” i’m saved.

yakuro smiled and stood up, “why of course! i’ll be right back!” like a breath of relief, he rushed to the staff room. he waved to some girls, “not on stage today moonie?” one asked, a baby stripper new to the bunny palace club. “yeah! boss was all: ‘act cutesy, be close, allow touching this once. there are really important customers here today.’ like thanks for threatening my paycheck and then saying that!”

“oh my, that’s rough babe. ackerman is always like that, it’s like she has a stick up her ass.” one of the older strippers that had been with yakuro since he started chimed in, “you’re right!” yaku chuckled, leaning closer into his vanity mirror to adjust his lipstick and have a chance to message rindou. 

40 missed messages. “i’m so fucked.” “why’s that babe?” “i may have forgot to message rindou telling him ackerman added hours onto my shift.” the room grew tense, “that’s awful? read his messages.” sei suggested, “might cool him off if he’s angry.

“alright!” yaku sighed with a smile, opening the messages. to his surprise, rindou wasn’t angry but instead worried that a client had gotten too touchy and triggered yakuro. after all, ran did inform rindou about the bits and pieces that sanzu did not tell yaku. “whew, i’m good! i’m safe. he’s just worried....” sei and bab took a loud sigh and began laughing. “BUT I’M FUCKED.” “really? that’s great! now go out! your client must be waiting.” 

yup the girls took it that way. “i will! don’t worry don’t worry. i just hope sanzu doesn’t buy the whole club.” “he won’t now go!” sei pushed out yaku who glanced over at the client who finished the previous bottle. his nose was red and was slightly swaying back and forth.

walking up to the bar, yakuro ran into polaris. “polar!” “moonie.” “can you get something for my client? he seems to be a lightweight.” “sure, i’m sure he wouldn’t mind beer.” polar sat down the cup he was wiping back and forth to keep busy.

“the bar isn’t very busy huh?” “oh no, it’s just we got our best girls today dancing and the waitresses and working ten times harder. it works out for both of them and neither of them have to fight each other about unfair pay. tomorrow you’ll be our best so good luck.” polar smiled earnestly to add to the words of encouragement, sliding over the foaming beer over the black marbled counter. 

“thanks! i’ll need it.” turning with the drink in hand, yaku noticed the man’s disgruntled face. he looked as if the whole world was going to blow up and he was watching the countdown. ‘act cutesy, act cutesy, act cutesy.’ it was a constant mantra in his head before he sat down and opened his mouth.

“what could be wrong sir?” yaku felt like rolling his eyes into oblivion, he could care less. “oh it’s just something wrong with the gang.” “oh my, a yakuza?” boring, yaku fake gasped handing over the bear to the angered man. “yeah!” he said pridefully with a chuckle, gulping the drink down and slamming it down. “something about bonten this and that and one of our men died.”

now that’s interesting. yaku felt like walking out to just go see sanzu, it felt like everything was reminding yakuro of him. hell even the purple lights were. but alas he was stuck eyeing the entrance while the man babbled on and on about this whole yakuza shin-dig he was in. he decided to slip off his shoes because the waitresses’ assured the man that they would handle getting drinks.

it felt like hours, drink after drink the world became more hazy. yakuro grew a high tolerance because of his job but he seemed to be losing himself while the client seemed more than sober. “you.. slipped somethin, huh?” the client beside him flinched, clenching onto his bag. “w-what? are you sure you don’t have a low tolerance m-mr. moonie?” the man stammered, through gritted teeth yaku managed to huff out a ‘whatever’.

“miss. ackerman set you up? thought so, the bitch never liked me because i have a bonten member for a partner. guess i’m finally leaving this hellhole. send her my best regards, yeah?” he asked with a agitated tone. his words were laced with threats, raising slowly. “mr. moonie?” “i’m leaving, i want to leave. i have to go see rindou.” he dug the acrylic nails that were done just recently into his thigh. fuck the shoes. 

whatever was in the drink didn’t seem strong but it had yakuro in and out of conscience. the man who was once his client seemed nowhere to be found, leaving a stumbling yaku to himself. sei noticed this and dropped her waiters plate, running over to the bunny who was just about to fall. “MOONIE!” 

          ާlocation, the bonten loft.             early morning, 3am.

blue eyes fluttered open, fighting the urge to close once more. “they’re awake! rindou, they’re all good!” a familiar voice echoed throughout yakuro’s head. his body felt numb, in an attempt to speak he noticed his voice was gone. every one of his senses felt like they were being drowned under water. his eyesight was the only thing that was significantly normal.

though his contacts seemed to be taken off, leaving the blue and purple hues of yaku’s true eye colour roaming free. rindou’s footsteps were heavy and had a quick pace, the vibrations went through the bed. “yaku?” his usual docile purple eyes were filled with worry and anger mixed together, forever burning until yakuro got better.

all the man managed to do was a weak smile, his eyes blinked slowly while he stared at rindou. the two conversed, rindou’s agitation growing as his jaw clenched harder with every muffled word sanzu spoke. “i am very upset sanzu, yakuro was drugged. AGAIN!” “we can’t do anything but sit it out! we don’t even know who it was. rindou you need to calm down.” sanzu too was frustrated beyong belief.

the whole loft was filled with tension that was denser than a brick wall. everyone considered yakuro a part of bonten after two years. he even got a bonten tattoo per mikey’s request. it lays on his right shoulder which he covers up during his job with makeup despite his hatred, it was the only condition ackerman gave him before he could work at bunny palace. ackerman and bonten hated each other, seeing a bonten tattoo at the ackermans would start a war. 

“he’s quitting that job and working at our club. this is the last time i’ll EVER see him like this again.” this wasn’t the first time rindou raised his voice when he was angered by the way yakuro looked in this condition. unable to move, speak, only look plainly at the wall with a weak smile here and there.

it tore him apart from the inside out each time, it did every member living in the loft. finally after whatever happened between those two. sanzu left, rindou left as well but returned with water and began to cuddle the numb and quiet yakuro.

[regrettablewritings]

DJ X READER HEADCANON you pick 😉😉

I blink at the request that stares back at me from my inbox, brow furrowing with every flutter of my lashes. "Sis . . ." I murmur, "you good?" As though my ass had not also been search for content relating to this forgotten POS just the other day. But if you insist . . .

4. What they do on date night:

To be brutally honest, DJ will look you dead in the eye and tell you that going for a night out on the town pick-pocketing is a date. Or, at least, he will try to. It's surprisingly hard to maintain eye contact with someone whose glare could probably cut beskar.

In his defense (if he even deserves any), DJ does try to make it a little more fun than he already finds it -- granted, it's done in a very DJ way. You get your little evening promenade through the streets, he tricks you to a quick bite to eat, you hold hands and run through the lantern-speckled streets before turning down a narrow alleyway that's just perfect for sharing an intense liplock . . .

Of course, this all translates into your evening together including: Walking through a marketplace, your asshole boyfriend slipping peoples' credits out of their pockets and purses under the guise of bumping into them; him using those sticky fingers of his to nick some street food off of a cart before its proprietor called the authorities on his theft; said sticky fingers lacing with yours as he guides you down the crowded streets (grinning like the little shit he was for enjoying the chase); all before making a sudden jerk down an alleyway.

You're breathless, irritated, and . . . maybe -- only just maybe -- a little excited by the thrill of it all. But you can't let him know that, otherwise, he'd never let you live it down and he'd be the cock of the goddamn walk for who knows how long. Worse: He'd consider this a win for his insistence that this sort of thing counted as a date! And there was no way in hell you were about to let that happen!

You only got as far as opening your mouth to hiss own some choice words at him when you instead got cut off by your thieving significant other pressing you against the grubby alley wall. Even if you hadn't been distracted by the action to remember to cuss him out, the words were instantly killed. They were inhaled by his own lips, his kiss encompassing your words, your thoughts, your . . . everything. They were speared by his tongue, as though it were his weapon against the beast that brewed within you.

And they were quelled by the feel of his callused fingers brushing against your cheeks before moving onward to the beck of your head, pressing you only further into his hold. DJ's fingers were deft, but that didn't necessarily mean that their carefulness was always directed at you. It's . . . something to savor . . .

Of course, it was meant to fool the chumps following the both of you but you don't mind. Not in that moment anyway. When you get back to wherever you're staying for the night, it's another story, but one DJ is more than happy to bring to a happy ending.

It's a bit nicer when he gets his hands one someone's credits, though: It means he can take you out to an actual establishment. However, be warned: It's only a bit nicer because you also need to be on the lookout for the authorities (or the poor bastard you stole from), or be prepared to make a run for it.

11. What their first impression was of each other:

Dirty. Old. Bastard. A dirty old bastard. And to your credit, you weren't wrong, but of course, the first impression is always the shallowest. And considering the shithead had just tried to put the moves on you when you were already having a rough day . . . Yeah, he honestly deserved presumptions with the depth of one's own navel -- an outie, preferably.

He stood out against the Canto Bight elite with his grubbiness, looking like a leathery garbage pouch at best and like a guy who'd try to sell you a faulty droid at moderate. A dirty, bastardly part of you couldn't help but muse that perhaps the worst he could do was be a nasty lay -- and not nasty in the way one might want, either.

Granted, it wasn't hard to imagine that: The fact he was hitting on you while you were trying your best to just survive your shift at the casino that evening did little to convince you he was any good.

And as for DJ, it was a one-two-punch type of introduction. Literally: First he eyed you, then he got a little too suggestive, and then you punched him. What a sleazeball, right? It was his own damn fault for assuming the least of you, though. You were cute like all the other servers, no doubt, with that shy smile of yours that made it abundantly clear to him that this sort of place wasn't your scene if you didn't have to work there. Unlike the other servers, however, he was feeling pretty brazen about you.

DJ has no interest in the concept of “fate” or “destined meetings”, but even months out from that point he wouldn’t be able to place precisely what compelled him to break his usual protocol of being discreet. Nor why he was so insistent. All he knows was that he called you over to him and, rather than requesting a drink, he “chatted you up”. And might’ve suggested that you two blow off this place and maybe “blow off somewhere else”.

He also knows that the moment you struck his cheek, cheeks burning and eyes widened with the realization of what you’d done, he was wrong and right about you.

You were frankly lucky he turned out to be a blight on the Canto Bight scene, otherwise your boss would’ve fired you the moment he had learned of what you had done. What you were unlucky for, however, was that from then on, the thief started showing up more often. Not enough to get caught (at least, not for long), but enough for him to determine that maybe the both of you really should blow this joint -- in the nonsexual way.

And in the end, you became unlucky once more: For someone so grubby and bastardly, he was also quite the charmer. Y’know, once you’ve smacked him around a bit.

14. What nicknames they call each other:

You honestly struggle to nickname DJ, predominately because, well, DJ is already a nickname. You think. After all, you sincerely doubt anyone would actually name their kid Don’t Join even as a political statement. Really, the fact you don’t know his actual name sort of calls for consideration of how healthy your obviously unhealthy relationship is. But any pleas to learn this asshole’s real name just winds up being like having a namana cream pie shoved in your face, because DJ just turns it all into a joke.

There have been many occasions where DJ would tell you different names he would swear were his own -- often times in the same week! Other times, his claim would be that he’s told you it while you were asleep, or that he once told you but you got conked on the head and forgot it.

Interestingly enough, it’s through these juvenile exploits that he’s earned a bit of a nickname from you: “Bastard”. Just rolls off the tongue, don’t it? To be fair, though, you’re with him for a reason: Even if he may not seem like it, he does have a soft sport for you. Even if it comes out about as smoothly as his features.

In a way, he reminds you of a mutt. A stray mutt. Especially when he shoves his head into your lap after a long day of fucking about and being a menace to whatever society you two decided to hop a ship to.

“You’re like a puppy sometimes, you know that?” you murmur. You scritch into his mess of hair, earning a low growl of contentment from your datemate. He never had to admit it out loud, but your touch clearly did wonders to him. This was evidence by how his already large body began to further sprawl along the couch the ship he’d stolen came with. Yup; just like a puppy. A big, raggedy puppy. Who needs a trip to the refresher as soon as this scritching session was over.

For DJ, on the other hand, nicknames come easily. Honestly, it’s mainly due to how he barely takes anyone or anything seriously: When you don’t concern yourself with all the muddled nonsense of society or wide circles of people, it becomes a whole lot easier to see everyone’s buttons. And considering he was a master slicer, button-pressing was definitely his thing.

Despite the fact that you were a one-in-a-million instance of being someone whom the thief actually trusted and treated with even a modicum of respect, even you weren’t immune to his acts of mockery.

“Mornin’, P-p-pipsqueak,” he’d smirk over a cup of caff, knowing damn well that his advantage of height bothered you sometimes.

“Ea-asy there, k-kitten,” he’d purr whenever your frustration would come boiling to the brim. Things like that.

“Lookie here, dollface,” when he wants to butter you up without losing his stance.

But that doesn’t mean he’s unable to be more affectionate. It’s in there, it’s just . . . in there. The best examples, however, tend to be when the both of you are having downtime and are actually safe somewhere. Or whatever safe could mean when you’re with DJ.

Generally, a jail cell wouldn’t be considered safe. Maybe not unsafe if the only occupants were your boyfriend of ill repute and yourself, but it certainly wasn’t enjoyable. And yet, the way DJ just seemed to laze about in them made you feel unnaturally calm. Well, calmer. It would’ve been nicer if your more-than-capable boyfriend would put those slicing skills of his to use and just busted the both of you out of there, but to DJ, a night in the clink meant at least a few hours of shut eye on a bed.

“B-bes-s-sides: We can alw-w-ways just grab on-e of those f-f-f-floating citadels they g-g-g-got docked out there,” he would reason, making himself comfy on the thin mattress. He had a point, you supposed. And it wasn’t as though you hadn’t been expecting this as a part of your life once you got together with him. Still, you weren’t entirely comfortable joining him on said mattress . . . Maker knows when it had last been washed!

You would be far from the first to consider DJ to be the most observant person, dating or not, but your concern must’ve been rich enough for him to practically sense it: Without hesitating, he sat up just enough to offer you his hand.

“C-come on,” he said. “I need to c-c-c-catch some shut e-e-eye, and it ain’t hap-p-p-penin’ if you’re standing d-d-down there the entire t-time.”

A feeling of mild dread seeped into you, followed by a wet blanket of acceptance. You were going to just spend an hour in the refresher of whatever ship you swept off with. Sighing, you accepted the hand, only for the hold to pull you up not onto the mattress, but directly on top of him!

There was plenty to react to -- the sudden movement, the feeling of being on top of DJ -- but the man himself didn’t seem at all fazed. Instead, he focused primarily on tucking in whatever lagging limbs you had and making sure he was cozy enough to continue serving as your mattress for however many hours he needed to recuperate. Which he apparently was: Not once did he protest to your weight pressing down on him, nor did he grunt with displeasure whenever you turned the direction of your head against his chest.

At the most, he only ever offered your back a brief circle of rubbing with his free hand, the other serving as his pillow, before uttering a drowsy, “You good there, kid?”

And, to your surprise . . . yeah. In spite of everything, yeah, you were pretty good . . .

And yet, interestingly enough, no matter what he calls you, none of that ever measures up to when he calls you by your name. Not pipsqueak, not kitten, not dollface or kid or whatever, but your actual name. Because DJ hardly ever refers to anyone by their actual title, let alone cares to remember it. By not only remembering it, but applying it, it shows you that he does care. It’s deep down -- like, real in there -- but it’s there. And you’re the only non-slicing being in the entire galaxy to have ever cracked that sort of safe.

Wear that badge with pride, Hotshot.

Thanks for your patience on this one! Clearly I had a lot of fun writing it! 💖 💖 . . . May gotta actually start writing for DJ. Maybe.

[crystalstar8]

Knights of the Night (ch 11)

Chapter 11

Ch 1, ch 2, ch 3, ch 4, ch 5, ch 6, ch 7, ch 8, ch 9, ch 10, ch 11

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29139240/chapters/71536491

pairing: Jungkook x oc

genre: vampire au, college au, twilight, romance

word count: 2,054

warnings: blood (obviously), kidnapping, child kidnapping, needles, France

notes: vampires, vampire au, college, college au, so many twilight references, blood, needles, kidnapping, children, homelessness, dance, ballet, flashbacks, romance, slow burn, probably no smut, idk yet tho, France, French things, attempted genocide, inaccurate French history, bisexual main character, @strawberriewithchocolate-blog @mozy-j  @daechwitad-2​ @zobadak​​

summary: Catalina starts college in a small town all the way across the country. She doesn’t know anyone and isn’t exactly looking for friends. She just wants to focus on dance. But when she meets fellow dance major, Jimin, and adventurous, fellow freshman, Jungkook, Catalina ends up discovering a whole new side to the small college town; one that is dangerous but oh so enticing…

tw: France, attempted murder, death, it’s a vampire story so...

               When Catalina and Jungkook came back to the rooms wrapped in towels, hand in hand, everyone in the room stopped what they were doing and stared.

               “Did you guys fuck in the hot tub?” Jimin asked, breaking the silence.

               “Jungkook! That is irresponsible and inappropriate!” Jin screeched.

               “We didn’t fuck in the hot tub!” Catalina yelled over the chaos, trying and failing to contain her laughter. “Everyone calm down.”

               “We were just about to do some slumber party activities,” said Taehyung. “I got us some popcorn from downstairs and I heard of a game called spin the bottle-“

               “Or we can just talk,” said Jimin. “I want to hear about you guys, since you’re immortal and all.”

               “And we can braid hair,” said Taehyung. Jimin giggled.

               “Well, we’re gonna go change first, then we can do whatever you want,” said Catalina.

               After changing into some warm clothes, everyone gathered into the room with the largest floor space and sat around wherever they could. Catalina was sat on the ground in front of Taehyung, who was braiding her hair. Jungkook sat beside her, close enough for their arms to brush every time they moved.

               “So, what happened out there?” asked Jimin. “Give us the deets. I know I said not to go find him, but it looks like it went well.”

               “It did go well,” said Catalina. “We made up.”

               “And made out,” said Jungkook. Catalina elbowed him, but he just laughed.

               “Yeah, we…” Catalina felt breathless again as she looked over at the boy making her heart flutter. “Yeah.”

               “I mean, I don’t think we need the deets,” said Jin.

               “Yeah, I’m more interested in you guys,” said Jimmy K, pointing to the four vampires. “You guys have been around a while. You must have plenty of stories.”

               “Sure! What do you wanna know?” Hoseok said with a shit eating grin on his face, leaning back on his hands. Namjoon, who was sitting beside him, swatted at him.

               “Oh please,” he said. “You’re practically a baby.”              

               “He’s right,” said Hoseok. “I was born in 1973. Turned in ’95. I’m still not used to the whole ‘no aging’ thing. Definitely not used to living with people who are literally hundreds of years old. That’s a trip.”

               “How did you get turned into a vampire?” Catalina asked him.

Hoseok completely ignored her, turning to Namjoon and saying, “Yeah, tell us your story.”

               “I-she…” Namjoon stuttered, pointing at Catalina. Then he sighed and said, “Well, I was turned when I was twenty-three. The year was 1580. I guess I should give some history. So, during those times, there was a lot happening in Europe to the vampire community, specifically in France. This was called The Great Hunt, but it definitely wasn’t great for a lot of people. The vampires living there at the time were being relentlessly hunted and killed, rounded up and tortured. It was a massacre, and it led to a lot of vampires leaving the country and travelling the world to get away from it. That’s how I met Pierre. He escaped the hunt and fled, ending up all the way in northern Korea. I lived in a seaside village, mostly working on the water. One day, I ended up in a swampy area of the shoreline and my boat got stuck. Then this ghostly man came out of the water and sat on a rock. I had never seen anyone like him in my life; he was unnaturally beautiful and pale. I ditched my boat and swam to him, I couldn’t even control myself. We talked for a while and he told me about where he came from and then he bit me. He was going to drain me if it weren’t for the search party arriving, looking for me. He ran away and my fellow fisherman took me back to the village. I was half dead, but his venom was already doing its work. The transformation was excruciating. It felt like my veins were on fire, my head felt like it was going to explode, my jaw ached like someone was prying my mouth open, and it went on like this for days. Finally, when it stopped and the pain went away, I had this uncontrollable thirst. I could hear people’s hearts beating. I could taste their heat, just by being near them. I ended up killing three people in my village before I was captured. They were going to behead me, but I was stronger and faster now, so I got away easily.

                “I was on the run for so long, but eventually, I made it out of the country. I ended up in Bangladesh-“

               “How?!” Jin interrupted. “That’s…that’s all the way across China!”

               Namjoon shrugged and said, “I was fast and I never got tired. I was able to feed off of people along the way, as long as I kept moving. Anyway, I ended up by the ocean, the Indian ocean, and I met another vampire there. She worked on a ship and offered me a job. She turned out to be a pirate, and the crew was a mix of vampires and humans, all working together. We sailed the sea, taking ships and feeding from their crews. It was dirty, living like that. And it wasn’t how I wanted to live my life, so I left them and lived in India for a few years. Then one day, I took a boat to America and built my house in the mountains, using the riches I had from my pirate years. From there, I spent my days studying and getting degrees, learning as much as I can about everything.”

               “That’s incredible,” said Catalina.

               “So cool. I can’t believe you were a pirate,” said Jungkook. “You just don’t seem like the type.”

               “It was mostly about the community,” said Namjoon. “A lot of vampires were drawn to piracy during those times because they felt safe together. We couldn’t engage in regular society because the French were still hunting us across Europe and even into India for a while. But on the water, no one could touch us. But you’re right, I wasn’t the type. I didn’t like the bloodshed and pillaging and the dirty lifestyle, so I left as soon as I felt it was safe to live in society again, which was right around the time the Renaissance period began.”

               “That’s when I met Adrianna,” Taehyung said quietly behind Catalina. He had finished the braid and was tying a hair tie at the end.

               “Who Adrianna?” asked Jimin.

               “The vampire who changed me,” he said. “Ah, she was incredible. I miss her every day still.”

               “She’s not around anymore?” Jimin asked.

               Taehyung shook his head. “When we moved to the United States, the town we lived in found out we were vampires and they were going to lynch us. I got away, but she didn’t.”

               Jimin crawled over to him and gave him a hug.

               “I’m so sorry,” he said.

               Taehyung pouted and said, “It’s okay. It gets easier over time, especially now that I’m making new friends and doing things again.”

               “How did you meet her?” Catalina asked.

               “She found me in Korea. She was travelling the world, avoiding the hunts in France and Europe, and she ended up there,” Taehyung began. “I was only about sixteen at the time. I was painting and doing calligraphy for the royal family, but most of my time was spent on my grandma’s farm. She raised me so I wanted to help her out as much as I could. Adrianna found our farm and we let her stay with us, since she seemed unwilling to go into the town. She didn’t speak Korean at the time and I didn’t speak French, so we couldn’t talk much. She taught me French, and once I got decent at it, I taught her Korean and we became close friends after that. She stayed with us on the farm for a few years, helping with the chores and everything, and teaching me different art styles. She was an incredible painter. I found out she was a vampire one day when I saw her sneaking out of the house at night, so I followed her. She went into the village and drank from someone, hypnotizing them so they couldn’t remember. I told her I would keep her secret.

               “After my grandma passed away, I sold the farm and Adrianna took me to France. The hunts had ended and people were becoming more interested in art and science. We lived well in France, staying in a big house and studying under great painters. I even got to see the grave of Alexandria the Annihilator.”

               Namjoon, Yoongi and Jimmy K all gasped.

               “No way,” said Namjoon.

               “What was it like?” asked Yoongi.

               “Was her sword really on display there?” asked Jimmy K.

               “How do you even know who she is?” asked Taehyung. Jimmy K just grinned. “Anyway, yes, her sword was there. It was so big! It even looked like there was old blood on the blade. It was in a glass case, resting on a bed of her real fur capes.”

               Namjoon and Yoongi both erupted into a chorus of “so cool”s and “I’m so jealous”s.

               “Okay wait,” Jimin interrupted. “Who is Alexandria the Annihilator?”

               “Yeah, she sounds awesome,” said Jungkook.

               “She was,” said Jimmy K. “I did my history thesis on her. She was a famous vampire who led the resistance in France against the church. She saved hundreds of vampires by hiding them and smuggling them out of the country, but she also killed thousands of humans. She was slain in the early 16th century, ending the resistance and the hunts for good. Her lineage still lives though; she supposedly had a daughter with a human man, but it was in the midst of the resistance, so her daughter was smuggled away, kept in hiding for a long time. No one knows if she was a human, or a vampire, or something in between, but she’s said to still be alive today.”

               “Anyway,” Taehyung continued. “Adrianna and I lived in France during the early 17th century, so almost a hundred years after all that bad stuff. We had a lot of fun together. I had a little dog during those years, Yeontan, and I got to learn all about vampire history and culture. I wanted to be a part of it, and I wanted to be with Adrianna forever, so I kept asking her to turn me. She kept reminding me that immortality becomes a curse if you’re alive too long, and that I should wait to make a decision like that. We studied philosophy together, and I learned about life and death, and what our purpose was on this earth, I learned about critical thinking and how to form arguments. And when I was in my early twenties, I asked her again to turn me. I gave her a proper argument and everything. And she did.

               “And then, during the 1800s, we came to America and she…” Taehyung trailed off, his smile fading. “And then I was alone for a while. But then I travelled west, met Namjoon, and have been living here ever since.”

               “Were you and Adrianna lovers?” asked Catalina. Taehyung shook his head.

               “No. We loved each other dearly, but I was in love with her. I think she might have been gay though,” he said. “She liked to dress as a man when we travelled, she called herself ‘Adrien’ when she did. Or maybe she might have been trans. Well, either way, she wasn’t interested in men.”

               “She sounds like she was a very interesting person,” said Jimin.

               “She was,” Taehyung said with a small smile.

               Catalina then automatically turned her attention to Yoongi, hoping he’d share his story next. Apparently, everyone had the same idea, because when Yoongi looked up, he said, “Why are you all staring at me?”

               “Aren’t you going tell us your story next?” asked Jimmy K.

               “Oh, it’s really not that interesting,” Yoongi said with a wave of his hand. “I don’t even remember it.”

               “Oh, you’re so funny,” Hoseok said with a laugh. “He’s lying.”

               Yoongi let out a deep sigh and sunk into the couch he was on.

               “Where to start?” he asked. 

[fmdkiana]

【✧】━━━━━ 🌿 k i a n a     i n t r o     p l a y l i s t 🌿 ━━━━━【✧】

these are nineteen songs that i’ve been listening to while making kiana’s blog [x] some i came across, some randomly thought of, and some suggested by lovely muns i’ve been chatting about kiana to. since she’s a character that i’ve adapted for the purpose of famed, these songs have helped ground me in the person she is. i hope the songs and descriptions below will help you learn kiana a little better too

1. to be torn by kyla la grange

this first song was a suggestion from someone, and i think set the tune for the rest of my choices. apparently it’s from beauty and the beast? lol anyway it describes this desire to be torn, a carnal need to be used. the heavy sound of it is kind of haunting, a bit sad, but also strong. the emotion can be felt even without the lyrics. kiana has this part of her that deeply craves being important, whether it comes at her own expense -her own tearing- or not. also forewarning that a lot of these overlap on the same concepts. shrug emoji

2. intertwined by dodie

intertwined is a song that immediately came to mind for kiana after to be torn. when this song came out, many people saw it as a cute love story, wanting to be intertwined with a lover, and have them be the safe space when you have a troubled head. however, dodie made a video debunking this, against her natural inclination, because the song describes something severely unhealthy. the following music video also helped many people to see the gore that’s strung throughout the lyrics. it Actually describes a relationship where the participants have put all of their source of happiness in one another, and it’s left them codependent, but ever seeking more. kiana has this perpetual trouble in relationships, especially romantic ones

3. bite by troye sivan

i can be the subjective of your dreams, your sickening desire is a pretty good sum up of where the inspo comes from. it’s difficult, when talking about the negative parts of kiana, to not talk about her ex-boyfriend. i have lots planned to talk on so i won’t go on forever here, but it reminds me of how all it took was the tiniest invitation for kiana to “become his.” that’s how she works. come here puppy, don’t bite, and she’ll heel at your side forever. at least, back then. she’s someone who seems difficult, because she’s very asocial, but with the right formula, it could be so easy to slip her into your arms

4. hell in heaven by twice wish

this song is a bit similar to intertwined, i would say? someone who feels stuck, drowning in a “hell” that is only saved by a piece of “heaven/paradise.” yet they’re in between the place of hell and heaven, constantly confused of where they land, because they’ve placed their hope for salvation in this one, singular place/person. they want to be freer than they are, yet their salvation keeps them locked away. open the door to heaven, let me walk on the cloud. the day i’m trapped in you, save me, hold me tight

5. dinner & diatribes by hozier

a few different levels come from this song. while it was created with the idea of how tedious social gatherings are, the story that comes from it makes another world. kiana is asocial, and struggles with fear over social situations, which make something like dinner parties quite stressful for her. she’s also someone who isn’t fond of small talk, and more likely that type to say ‘talk to me about your deepest fears,’ but... she actually means it and isn’t saying it to be pretentious. she would much rather see the sickest, nastiest parts of someone, soak all of that up, than talk about whether the food was good. the music video describes this in part, but also gives a hades/persephone but worse type of story that is also quite kiana aligned. that’s the kind of love i’ve been dreaming of

6. creep by radiohead

i want you to notice when i’m not around. so fuckin special, i wish i was special, but i’m a creep. not to ‘have you ever seen me without this hat’ on you, but lissen! kiana is forever convinced she’s an outsider. the things she likes are more Cool these days than they were when she was a kid, but the feeling of being ostracized for liking them back then will always live with her. she’s an insecure overthinking fuck at times too. and also desperately wants to be someone special, and unique, as if having that would make her pain of feeling different worth it

7. seigfried by frank ocean

the meaning of this song is pretty different from how i view it in relation to kiana. for her, the focus is on the idea of ‘settling down’ being... acceptance of normality? her whole life, she’s been searching for someone and/or something that makes her feel special. she became an idol for this exact reason, dated her ex for that reason, seeks the relationships she does, thinks she could still have superpowers for this reason. but the truth is that she’s pretty normal. her hobbies are very normal people type things. her talents aren’t anything that would have her being called top of the line. her thoughts are all things other people have thought of. her booksmart intelligence isn’t any stronger than the average. she is very normal, and the tiny part of her that acknowledges that usually shoves it away. but on occasion, she wonders if she should accept it, and settle

8. gimme love by joji

gimme gimme love is all you really need to know lol kiana doesn’t stick around easily when she’s not being given the same kind of world-ending affection from those she’s chosen to share that with that she gives out. she gives at Least 110% of her love, affection, and loyalty into anyone that she has chosen to keep closest to her heart, and if she isn’t getting that back, she can feel dejected, unloved, and unimportant. she may give people like this a few chances to change, but her expectations, or “standards,” won’t change

9. pain by king princess

cos i can’t help turning my love into pain is the strongest lyric that ties back to kiana. the overall message isn’t as strong because king princess has a different view on a relationship as described than kiana. for her, it’s yet another kiana will put herself in the face of terrible parts of relationships. the trouble is that she enjoys it, and seeks it, thinking it’s the ultimate show of love. not to pain one another, but to be pained without them. also realizing after all these i should be saying this applies to her inner circle friendships as well, but the standards are just a little less heavy

10. any song by zico sun

not one for big gatherings, kiana likes to have her social interaction either through the wire, or in small groups (duos are best to her tbh) the song has an upbeat tune that contrasts against the lyrical meaning of something more about... any song will do, something to drag away the sadness that’s living inside. kiana functions a bit like that, always seeking her uniqueness to bust out and save her from her own mind thinking she’s not good enough

11. why won’t they talk to me? by tame impala

she is asocial, but that doesn’t mean being a hermit,, an otaku,, whatever you want to call her, is a life full of happiness. she functions very well on her own, but when she has that for too long, it can be damaging to her head as well, especially when she has inner circle friends or a romantic relationship. when not speaking to these people, the need for human connection seems unbearable to deal with, and anxiety runs rampant

12. alien by lee suhyun

her mama told her she’s alien, but actually it was herself telling herself she’s alien mixed with influence from pop culture making her want to be a superhero and kids who told her she was a freak, all coming together in the desire for weirdness to be a Cool thing. kiana will wish til the day she croaks that she will have a realization that she has a special power

13. stressed out by twenty one pilots

ki doesn’t care about the core message of this song. many people relate to oh no bills~ adult stress~ but kiana doesn’t. even if she wasn’t born into a family that could live comfortably, and didn’t become an idol making phat stacks, she would feel the same. to her, it’s an inevitability. HOWEVA the beginning lines are 1:1 for how she wishes to be something extraordinary, and is supa insecure that she isn’t. i wish found some better sounds that no one’s ever heard. i wish i had a better voice that sang some better words ... i was told when i get older all my fears would shrink but now i’m insecure and i care what people think

14. true crime by epik high ft. miso

not exactly 1:1 word by word, since there’s several perspectives coming in one song, however, the overall message i think can be summed in it’s a true crime to be without you. other lines like i’d open up my chest for your entertainment, that was the line that drew me to originally put this in the playlist. i’m not sure on a story behind the song, but it strikes me as something bonnie & clyde-esque? there’s themes of being on the run, lying on the pavement dying, stuff like that. that kind of relationship is strongly the ideals kiana holds for her romantic and close platonic relationships

15. shine by pentagon (shouldve been knight but bad bois image PLAYIN)

i cannot explain to u the random joy this dumb song gave me when it came out. it’s similar to power up like i just?? get so happy lol anyway the whole premise is like nerdy person has a crush n theyre like oh my god~ why would u like me~ i cant say i like u~ it’s super fucking cute. i’m a loser who loves you. yes, i’m a misery. to you, i’m a nuisance, i’m an outsider, but in this world, i only need you. that’s where the kiana part comes in strongest, or explains it in one sentence. she worries she isn’t enough for others but her affections are always incredibly strong. also she’s cute

16. tail by sunmi dimensions soloist 2

when i first heard this song, i needed to play it again to pay attention to the lyrics because i had the feeling it was kiana-esque. i was right, but i would say that it’s where kiana could go at her worst. has she been there? i’m not so sure. perhaps teetering on the edge of having her claws out, but really, for now, it’s just that the potential is there

17. she’s my religion by pale waves

so as to not repeat myself too much and because this is so much fookin writing already, this is another song that talks about how deeply and dangerously kiana falls into others. she’s no angel, but she’s my religion, always finding ways to numb the pain ... made me feel like i was finally enough ... she needs this love just as much as me

18. space cadet by beabadoobee

this song has similar themes to alien, but rather than about being special, it’s about being in a shitty place and letting your mind wander to create a better reality. ki has her interests, her extreme love of her fandoms, because it’s an escape for her. that’s not something i personally approve of, however, it’s a common reality for many people. living in these online spaces and thinking of these fictional worlds gives her a place to go to when the irl world is too difficult for her to handle

19. me! me! me! by teddyloid

you might think this is a meme addition and sure! to a degree it is! but i’m also going to talk about it as an actual piece of music and visuals. first we’ll talk about the music video. kiana feels complicated about the type of anime fans that oversexualize everything, so in general, she likes a message that’s against those types. the message of addiction tearing real life relationships apart also is something kiana sorta needs to hear. the lyrics of the song itself talk about an all consuming type of relationship, and dissects it to explain how it wasn’t love, but worship, which was dangerous to them both. it’s a song that kiana perhaps would need to take to heart, but i, as her mun, am unsure if she ever will. that depends on the connections she forms, and what types of people are goading her on, or trying to get her to stop

[plasticflowering]

Ranking Every ONEUS Song Because I Have Opinions

I guess it’s time for me to embark upon this task. Come along for the ride if you’re so inclined. 

This is by no means a definitive ranking, because that’s impossible and the consumption of music is an intrinsically personal experience. But I personally like ranking things for arbitrary reasons.

Each song is ranked in order, and within those rankings I’ve assigned Tiers. Enjoy.

Note: this includes only studio tracks officially released by RBW or KissEnt, which means I’m sadly not including the Road to Kingdom songs. Actually, wait, you wanna know what? The real reason I’m not including Road to Kingdom songs is because I’m still salty that my favorite song from that show is one that didn’t get a studio release. Justice for Warrior’s Descendant. 

Let’s begin. 

I’ll start things off with the top tier, the best of the best, my absolute favorite ONEUS songs. Now what should I name a tier that represents the pinnacle of what ONEUS can offer us? 

Black-Haired Seoho Tier  

1. “Valkyrie”

This song goes places. It's the one that made me fall in love with ONEUS and it's still my favorite, oops.

2. “Blue Sky”

"Blue Sky” defies genre to me. The first time I heard it, I was blown away. It has some of my favorite vocals AND two of my favorite raps in their discography - I love Leedo and Ravn's "ballad raps" in general but this is my favorite.

3. “BingBing”

So full of personality. Such an earworm. Emotional and kinda unsetlling lyrics. Xion speaking French? OKAY. It's title track worthy, for sure, so it's a shame it gets so overlooked by casual listeners. I’m glad the fanbase has at least given it the legendary status it deserves. 

4. “Lost”

Was not expecting this one to enter my top ten with turbo boosters, but I started to listen to it a lot last year and in the process I started to feel things for this song that I previously have only felt for “Blue Sky”

5. “Plastic Flower”

It me.

6. “Rewind"

It’s all about the synth hook, to me. I am pathetically manipulable where good synth hooks are concerned. Also, the cadence and arrangement of this song reminds me of “Lost” and that’s never a bad thing.

7. “Dizzy” 

I just feel like this is where they all shine as a vocal ensemble. Their personalities shine through in Dizzy, and I'm a sucker for that emotive sort of performing. 

8. “Incomplete"

Right in a row here, you’ve got two sets of “my favorite song on the album” followed by “what I believe to be the best song on the album”. “Incomplete” is the best song on “DEVIL”. The lyrics are amazing and, this may sound weird, but as a Human in Their Thirties the lyrics hit even harder. Bonus points for guitar, as always.

9. “Dead or Alive” 

I’ll never get over how strange and wonderful this song is, and yes I do believe it’s the best song on “LIVED”. (Vee shouts through a megaphone again about how “Dead or Alive” incorporates musical themes or lyrical elements from every other song on “LIVED” and hopes someone listens). Also (vee voice) guitars.

10. “Lit”

“Lit” just rules and I don’t believe there’s much I can add that has not already been said about it 

Leedo Face Scrunch Tier 

Now for those songs that are still my favorites, and make the world an immensely better place for existing, but don’t quite crack the ultimate ONEUS songs pantheon. 

11. “No Diggity”

I'm a simple person, okay? I love bright and poppy songs but I'm also weak for unapologetic bangers, and "No Diggity" is an UNAPOLOGETIC BANGER. I think the guitars are (unsurprisingly) what takes this song to the next level for me. The arrangement in general is so impressive, and it’s obvious that they balanced it well to make use of all the members’ individual strengths. RIP my bias though.

12. “Crazy & Crazy”

The "Crazy & Crazy" appreciator has logged on! When Ravn said "hakuna matata 원하면 이뤄져 bibbidi-bobbidi-BOO", I felt that!!! If I ever get to go to a ONEUS concert and god forbid meet any of you there, I cannot be held responsible for how HAM I will go during this song. 

13. “Hide and Seek”

I’m weak for this funky little bass-driven bop. 

14. “Red Thread”

I don’t ever feel like I truly have gone in hard for a group until I start proselytizing their ballads to my unsuspecting friends. Ballads have a high barrier of entry in K-Pop especially, but my god!! MY GOD!!! This is a god-tier ballad. 

15. “808″

They threw every single synth possible at the wall with “808″ and it absolutely sends me with how well it works. It’s undeniably “a Japanese single,” if you know what I mean, but even with that I think it’s one of their strongest title tracks. The chorus is endlessly singable, too, and that means a lot to me while I’m listening to it while doing the dishes, which I do a lot.

16. “Leftover”

I believe that Seoho and Ravn team songwriting will save our souls, and this song is one more reason to do so. I love that their songs aren’t just straight-up R&B (not that I don’t love R&B), and that there’s something very playful and unique about them. 

17. “Zig Zag”

I’ll never forget you, “Zig Zag,” or the way Keonhee absolutely owns your vocals. In fact, if I had to assign an image song to every member I would most likely assign “Zig Zag” to Keonhee.  18. “Lion Heart"

As far as “weird little song” vibes go, “Lion Heart” really wins. Has undoubtedly one of the weirdest moments in any ONEUS song in the first post-chorus, and I’ll never shut up about the implied lore associations. 

19. “Hero” 

In every ToMoon's life, there is that indelible moment when they first heard Seoho's pre-pre-chorus vocals on "Hero" and suddenly realized so much about life and love and the nature of miracles. And, less dramatically, I love a good rap that uses the word biscuit.

Road to Kingdom Era Xion Tier 

I became a Xion bias in Road to Kingdom era, so this is not meant disparagingly. These are those songs that show so much promise and goodness, and make me love them, but are kind of an acquired taste so to speak. 

20, “BBUSYEO”

I always love BBUSYEO when it shuffles up, but I never like... seek it out, you know? Even if it is a bop. It’s just a silly little hetero love song that includes toilet humor, and it goes. I love that for it! 

21. “Come Back Home”

It's all about the build up here. This song has such a beautiful arrangement that builds to something, dare I say, epic. Good background music for taking a dramatic walk when it’s like, -this- close to raining. 

22. “To Be Or Not To Be”

This song works in the context of ONEUS mythology and lore but I tend not to really put it on my playlists if I'm simply wanting to experience an emotion or bust out some fun jams. It is a very strange time signature for a jam, but it’s too up-tempo to really be a mood setter. 

23. “Intro: Time"

This intro is like... beautiful, but also kind of slutty, and I love that?

24. “A Song Written Easily”

It's good! It's fun! I really like it, I think it's lovely. But it’s not a song I’m going to rec to a friend and assume it will give them an adequate view of what ONEUS is. If anything I’d expect they’d just be like “that was really fun, but it just makes me want to listen to Blood Sweat & Tears.” “and I’d go “yeah me too.”

25. “Twilight” 

I overplayed the fuck out of this song when I was first getting into ONEUS, so forgive me for ranking it low. Also, there is a high barrier of entry here for casual listeners even if it is a classic. Do you ever really think about how weird “Twilight” is? Like, the song structure? It’s very weird. I love it. 

26. “Stand By”

I decided to make "Stand By" my charity case after seeing a few people dismiss it as their least favorite off Fly With Us, and I wound up loving it so much. That bridge is crazy good! Vocal line  blessing us. 

27. “Intro: Fly Me to the Moon”

As far as intros go, this is god tier honestly. But it's still only an intro, and I always feel cheated out of a beautiful full song when I hear this. Like, even for an INTRO it feels short. 

My Complicated Feelings About A Thousand Stars Tier

28. “A Thousand Stars”

I just made an entirely separate post about this. 

That Overenthusiastic Thicc Ssam Ravn Made for Seoho That One Time Tier

Like, there’s a lot here. I like all the parts individually but something about them just doesn’t go down easily. 

29. “Youth”

I’ll be honest, I love “Youth” and I think it’s an absolutely beautiful song with a great hook. I’m just firmly out of the demographic for it at this point and that’s a bit alienating. It’s also weak compared to other songs on “DEVIL”

30. “Intro: Devil is in the Details”

It’s a great intro that does some ambitious things, but on its own it doesn’t hold up as well. Intimidating. 

31. “Intro: Lived”

I love Leedo and Ravn, but I don't like how this one opens. That said, I love the way this ends. 

32. “White Night”

The fact that I had to rank this so low, when it's such a gorgeous ballad, drives home how many pure bangers ONEUS has. I love this song, but I don't really jam out to it, so it's lower in my ranking. 

33. “What you doing?”

Please don’t judge me too harshly for this. I just feel like this song could have been performed by another group and there would have been no appreciable difference. I like Cosmik’s songs, but they’re not, in my opinion. the most ONEUS of the ONEUS songs. Which is weird since Cosmik is a bit synonymous with ONEUS. Anyway Keonhee sounds great in this song.

34. “Now”

Same as above, but this one has the added problem of never really going anywhere. That said, the bridge slaps. 

35. “Airplane”

I guess one of the proper tracks on Lived had to rank low, and for me it's definitely Airplane. When I listen to it, I have fun, but it's very... how do I put this nicely? Generic. The stages elevated it, absolutely, and otherwise it might rank even lower sadly.

36. “I.P.U.”

I don’t know how to put this nicely, but the only way I want to listen to this song is if ONEUS is singing it in concert, at which point I can imagine it being very emotional. It’s a special song for special occasions and I’m not going to listen to it to have fun. 

37. “Outro: Connect with US”

You’d think I’d love the government-assigned SeoJo song, wouldn’t you? I mean, it’s okay. 

38. “Eye Contact” 

By the time this song hits the chorus, it always gets me and I love it. But the verses leave something to be desired imo. It is firmly a mid-tier song to me, and I feel like this particular musical formula was much better in “Now.” Also please don’t make eye contact with me I have social anxiety. 

ZigZag’s Cursed Live Audio Tier

Unfortunate.

39. “Level Up”

WHY is this song so low??? Every time I hear it start I get so hyped up, but I feel like it never delivers on that hype fully. It feels too mid-tempo and generic for what the mix promises. I don't know. I can't explain it. The bridge doesn't lead up to much and that always feels like a betrayal. And because it has so much potential I’m even more disappointed about that.

40. “Intro: Light Us”

I have absolutely no opinion about this intro

41. “English Girl”

I’m way too queer and old for this song. :/ 

42. “In My Arms”

I don't feel their personalities at all in this song, which makes it stand out from almost all their other tracks. It just doesn't sound like a ONEUS song, to me.

43. “Kiseki”

A rare song that I skip when shuffling through the ONEUS discography

44. “Koisii”

The other rare song I skip when shuffling through the ONEUS discography, but also I would fight it if given the opportunity. 

[bread-elf]

DWC 2020 - Day 11

May not be suitable to some readers, viewer discretion is advised.

Passion

Post Warlords of Draenor, pre Legion prepatch

Curled up on the floor at the foot of her bed, wearing the same rags she's been in for four days, she didn't want to cope anymore.

A soft rap at the door to her cabin on the Greyshield's ship, Drax'ara Duskrunner sighed softly to himself. "Jiroki, it's me, I'm coming in."

The tall Kaldorei, with deep blue hair pulled back and swirling blue eyes, pushed his way into the room. She had secluded herself in here after her supposed wedding date with the Highborne Sasil, yet he never showed to claim his bride at the altar. Most of the other Shields in the mercenary group were too hesitant to approach, but Drake had volunteered to try and keep her under his watch, but more for personal reasons than for the Greyshields.

The room was a mess, Jiroki having spontaneous tantrums and having thrown and broken things, food on the desk he had last left previously remained untouched. At first he was startled not to see her right away, then realized where she was.

"You haven't eaten in days. I'm going to force feed you if you don't eat this now." The man had brought with him a plate of bread, cheese, and bacon, trying to entice her hungry she kept denying but also bringing something light. Jiroki gave no response, something he had learned for some time now she's prone to do when upset, and he got down on his knees beside her.

"Come on, up and at em." Setting the plate down he reaches over to help sit her up, Jiroki shifting slightly but for the most part unresponsive. He raises a brow, but thinks she must be exhausted, letting her body lean against his as she slumps towards him.

"Jiroki?" Something seemed off, and his gut clenched as it agreed with him. Bringing a hand to her cheek she tilts her head up, hearing the very faint of gasps breath, and beside her body he notices a small empty pouch.

The hairs on the back of his neck as shock starts to settle in, recognizing that pouch. Quickly he scoops Jiroki in his arms and tilts her around, setting her down on her back. He sees her face then, silver eyes half lidded and glazed over, her body overdosing. No no no-" His first instinct is to get it out of her, a bit familiar with drug usage. Quickly he rolls her onto her side and shoves two fingers down her throat. To his luck her body reacts as intended, her body gagging and starting to heave up the contents in her stomach. A grisly task, but Drake immediately scans the contents for any of her ‘medicine’ that he learned she frequently takes, and abuses. He could spot some of the white capsules she had recently swallowed that had barely started to dissolve, but there were bits that looked like she had taken some earlier… “How many did you fucking take?!” Drake growls out angrily as he starts fishing for his communication device, Jiroki coughing and remaining laying on her side while he access a specific frequency. “Draxia?! Draxia! I need you!” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jiroki felt dull, out of her skin, not of this world. Did it work? She couldn’t tell, but slowly she was fading back to consciousness. Something cool soothed her skin, her whole body, and she felt weightless. That feeling became more physical as she can feel gentle laps of water touching her skin, being held aloft by someone as there were the faint mutterings of the Darnassian tongue. Slowly she peels open her eyes, a Kaldorei man with purple hair having a hand hovering over her body, and she could see the weavings of druidic magic around the hand. Not only that, she could see a luminescent glow from the waters she floated in. Turning her head she could recognize she now floated in a Moonwell, but how did she get here? “Drax’ara, she’s waking up.” His voice calls out, and Jiroki can start to recognize this druid as Draxia, one of Drake’s brothers. To the side she can hear some movement, and Drake himself comes into view as he peers over the edge of the Moonwell. “Gods, praise Elune…” Drake lets out a heavy breath, relieved that she seemed alright. Jiroki felt her head swim and she reached up to grab hold of it, feeling droplets of the water run down her face. “Can you sit up?” Draxia moved his hands to help her, having her sit upon a rock in the well so that she could keep her head above water. “That was certainly a close call. You need to stay in these waters for a time.” “How… How did I get here?” Jiroki knew for a fact she had been in the Swamp of Sorrows, where her ship was docked in Marshtide, yet the area around them felt like home. “Drax’ara brought you here, we are at the well in Duskwood.” The closest portal to the Emerald Dream, of course, Jiroki should have known. Drake continued to stand nearby, a hard look on his face as he stared at Jiroki, and Draxia noticed. “Brother, come and help me, would you?” Draxia asks. Drake gets taken aback by the sudden question, but he kicks off his boots and climbs into the well. The healing waters slosh a bit from Drake’s body submerging, but he comes in and gingerly takes Jiroki from Draxia, helping keep her steady. Once Draxia is freed from his burden he moves back, letting out a tired sigh and looking exhausted. “I need to rest…” Draxia says as he starts to climb out of the well. “That was very taxing. Watch her for an hour, make sure she doesn’t get out. If she doesn’t next hurt herself by getting an aneurysm…” Jiroki and Draxia didn’t exactly clash well, already the female starting to get riled up by his words and leering towards him, but she felt weak and remained put. Soon enough the druid had left, and she sat alone with Drake in the pools. “What were you thinking?!” Drake starts to scold her in a hushed whisper, she having anticipated it. “You could have been killed!” “That’s what I was trying to do before you came along!” Jiroki snaps back, glowering at him. “How dare you interfere! You had no right to!” “Bullshit I had no right to!” Drake snaps right on back, not afraid to yell at her in turn. “You’re the most selfish person I’ve ever met! Did you even think about how this would affect the Greyshields?! How it would affect me?!” “Why do you keep interfering in my life?! This isn’t what I wanted!” She hits his chest as she tries to pull away from him, but he keeps a firm grip on her shoulders, and her strike had so little power behind it anyways as her body recovers from her ordeal. “What do you want then?! Come on, Jiro! You can’t just… You mean so much to people!” His words falter; it was no secret between the two that he had deep feelings for her. “Is that why he didn’t even show up?! Because I matter so much?!” Jiroki couldn’t stop the sobs from coming. She had cried so much already the past few days, but it came wave after wave. “All this time I been- I been w-waiting for him and, and hanging on, j-just to not show up, on a day that HE picked?! What the fuck?!” Her fists hit his chest again but he just takes it, watching her carefully and with pity as she breaks down before him. “A-And you, you just k-keep getting in the way! Y-you even tried to t-take me from him! But-” It all seemed so silly now, his little pursuits for her while she remained engaged, diligently brushing him off in hopes of something she thought would be better. “Y-You don’t have the right to interfere!” “I think out of everyone I most certainly have that right.” Drake also had a stubborn streak like Jiroki, which resulted in his romantic pursuit of her in the first place. He liked a challenge. But as time went on he got far more than he bargained for, developing deeper feelings for her then he could say he’d had for anyone he’s ever met. His hands come up to cup her face as she cries. “You still have so much to live for. I’m sorry he did that, he’s the most insane person to leave someone like you at the altar, I would kill to have you. But please don’t do this to yourself, I know you’ve lost a lot, but we’d be losing so much if you killed yourself. I’d be losing so much. Look at me, please.” Her gaze had stayed downcast, but he gently coaxes her to look up, and her shimmering eyes do as such while her face is scrunched up in sobs. “I-It hurts s-so much…” Jiroki hiccups, his thumbs wiping away fresh tears that come down. “I know, I know it does…” Leaning forward he rests his forehead against hers, and her eyes shut too as she sobs some more, though his hands don’t leave her face. They sit in silence in the healing waters of the Moonwell as she lets out her emotions, though the waters slowly give back her strength as their Mother Moon resides high in the sky. “Y-You’re stupid…” Jiroki hiccups once again, and once more diverting some of her anger at him. “You c-could’ve gone for, for anyone, a-and you had to bother me…” That makes him chuckle however, his blue eyes half lidded as he grins softly at her. “What can I say? I’m a stubborn man.” His thumbs gently run back and forth over her tear streaked skin, and soon enough her own eyes open. For a time they stare at each other, unable to pull their glances away. But something lures her in. Perhaps his charm, his looks, his personalities that’s a little similar to hers. Or perhaps it was his devoted passion to her that ignited her own, and she begins to lean in. Already having been holding himself back, he takes the cue right away and meets her, their lips meeting for a tender kiss. And the kiss deepens from there, Drake gently pulling him into her lap to hold close the woman he had almost lost, and they stay tangled together for the rest of the night. (( @daily-writing-challenge​ ))

[peonybane]

Agape and Pragma: Chapter 12

Pairings: OT7 (BTS) x Reader

Word Count: 4 k

Genre: Hybrid AU, Fluff, Angst, Sci-Fi, Crack, Smut

Chapter Specific Notes: ANGST, SMUT, some fluff

Warnings: Anal, knotting, female receiving oral, biting, female receiving anal play, I think that’s it.

Summary: Your entire world had be torn asunder by just one lab test. Time heals all wounds, but does it really? What will it take to feel whole again?

Hybrid Types: Peacock Jin, Serval Yoongi, Golden Retriever Hoseok, Gray Wolf Namjoon, Scottish Fold House Cat Jimin, Great Dane Taehyung, and French Lop Eared Rabbit Jungkook

a/n: So, I was NOT planning on having two smut chapters back to back… but here we are. Thank you to @ropeseok and @tatertotthethot for their feedback!

<— Previous (Chapter 11)

A week later, you found yourself in the same cafe as before, waiting for Amber to join you. In all honesty, you were on cloud 9. Sure, it was annoying waking up after an evening of ‘fun’ to being extremely sore and being unable to get out of your bed on your own. Not that your boys were complaining. Just meant they could take care of you even more. 

Yoongi had been increasingly affectionate. You couldn’t help but let one thought lead to another where you were daydreaming about he’d be like once he’d come asking you to take his vir—

Amber called your name, clapping in front of your face. You jumped, “Oh hey, Amber.”

She rolled her eyes, sitting down across from you. Once she was seated, she sipped on her boba tea, her other beautifully manicured hand tapping away on the table as she stared into your soul. You felt scrutinized under her gaze. She set down her tea.

“You’ve been getting fucked haven’t you?”

If you had been drinking, you would’ve choked. And right in that moment, you wished you had. “A-Am!!!”

She smirked, leaning towards you. “You have, haven’t you? Is it one of your roommates? Which one is it? Which one are you dating?”

You leaned back, avoiding her gaze. “What make you assume I’m dating any of them?”

There was a pause then she smacked your arm. “GWORL!” She leaned into whisper, “All of them?”

Your face burned at her accusation. She started giggling. The little, old ladies shot the two of you dirty looks.

“Shhhhh. Amber! Quiet! You’re drawing attention to us.”

Amber continued to giggle, practically vibrating with excitement as you both received looks, especially from the older women as they whispered to each other. “Tell me everything!”

“W-Well… it was… an accident.”

“Bullshit, but go on.”

You couldn’t help but snort at that. Typical Amber. 

Rather than working, like you were suppose to, you regaled Amber with how your relationship with your boyfriends had developed. You told her of how Yoongi was opening up to you and that he gone through surgery for you and how you felt about it. Of course, she had to get in a few dick and virgin jokes. Poor Yoongi. You told her about the subtle changes in the others as well. You told her about excited and yet nervous it made you. She smiled at you throughout the whole retelling. “God, you look like a love sick puppy. And I bet if I saw any of them, they’d look at you and each other with heart eyes, especially Tae and Jimin.”

You couldn’t help but giggle, nodding. “I love them. So, so much.”

Amber snorted. “God, you make me sick with all of this mushy love. I’m green with jealousy.”

She took one last sip of her boba tea, which had now run dry and looked at her watch. “Looks like it’s time to go. We’ll have to actually work next time. I, myself, have a hot date with a dance teacher from the studio across the street.”

“Oooooh. Don’t go kissing on the first date, you hear me.”

You both stood up and she giggled, “If I have my way, we’ll be doing so much more than kissing.”

Snorting, you lead her towards the exit if the cafe. “Looks like if lining up for the both of us, Am. I doubt anything can bring me down at this point.”

Amber gave you a stern look before smiling at you. “Don’t go jinxing yourself like that. Anyways,” she pulled you into a tight hug. “Good luck, girlfriend. You deserve all the happiness in the world.”

You hugged her back just as tightly. “You, too, Am.”

You both bid each other goodbye and went your opposite directions. Sighing happily, you stretched, enjoying the clear weather. As you headed towards your car, a familiar voice, one you didn’t want to hear ever again, called your name. You paused in your step, questioning whether or not you should acknowledge him.

He took the choice from you, again, as he grabbed your shoulder, turning you to face him. You weren’t sure what you were expecting. Not after almost five year. You had hoped that he changed somehow, and yet, here he stood, looking exactly the same as before. 

Taka stood before you, the same tall, medium build man with sun tanned skin and long, dark hair pulled back from his face in a ponytail. His eyes were still sharp— still deceptively friendly. It’s like he hadn’t aged a day. He was still, unfortunately, handsome. Probably so he could continue playing with girls, promising them that he’d be all theirs, all the while holding the hand of the next girl whose heart he was going to break.

He was panting slightly as you stared at him, pulling your arm away from him in disgust. He swallowed. “H-Hi.”

There were people around. Dammit. You weren’t one to make a scene, but you were prepared to. But for now, for your own sake, you’d be civil. “Taka.”

He stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Come on, don’t be like that.”

You continued to be curt. “Like what? Being civil? Especially after what you did.”

“Cold. Damn, Butterfly—“

“Don’t call me that. You’ve lost the right to call me that.”

He had the gall to look bashful. “I know. When I saw you, I knew this had to be fate. Give me another chance,” He pulled you into a hug, one that you immediately started fighting against. “I’ve changed.”

Fuck. Him.

You shoved him off you and turned away walking to your car. He called your name and as you opened your car door, you shot him a dirty look and the middle finger, calling back, “Fuck you, Taka and your peewee dick!”

^~^~^~^~^ 

You drove much faster than you should’ve, your entire body shaking. You couldn’t help it. You wanted to take a shower, to wash away the touch Taka left on you. You felt dirty. You felt disgusting.

Barely parking your car properly in the driveway, you rushed inside the house. The trip from the front door, up the stairs and to your room was a blur, no longer fighting back the tears that had been threatening to fall for sometime. The moment you entered your room began to strip, throwing off your clothes in a rushed flurry. Once naked you stepped into your shower, turning it on. It was ice cold, but you didn’t care. Your face was hot from tears as you grabbed your soap, rubbing your body in it.

Time became a haze as you grabbed a loofa scrubbing at your skin for who knows how long, crying. Why? Why did he have to come back into your life now? Just as you were finding your new happiness? Why? Wh—?

The glass door of your shower was thrown open. You jumped, facing Taehyung as he stared at you wide-eyed, his ears pulled back in worry. He gazed you up and down, your skin red, becoming raw from how hard you’d been washing at your skin. His voice was quiet but stern. “Stop….”

You dropped the loofa as he stepped into the shower, fully dressed, the hot water soaking him. He grabbed your forearms and pressed you against the wall, his own eyes beginning to water. “Please… stop. Don’t hurt yourself anymore. He can’t hurt you anymore… don’t give him power over you.”

Taehyung let go of one of your arms, turning off the shower. He stared into your eyes, your tears slowly drying as he let you out. He grabbed your towel and bundled you up in it. You stared up at him, his floppy ears dripping water as he wiped your tears away. He gave you a gentle smile before picking you up bridal style. You wrapped your arms around his neck as he carried you the short distance to your bed. He set you down on the bed, rubbing you over with the towel. He finished rubbing you dry, all except your hair.

As he stepped away, you reached out, grabbing at his sleeve. “D-Don’t leave.”

He smiled, leaning down to be face to face. “I won’t. I’m just going back to your bathroom to dry off and get rid of my clothes. Then we’ll cuddle until you feel better.”

You nodding, letting him go. He kissed the crown of your head before leaving you, wandering back into your bathroom. 

Looking down at yourself, you couldn’t help but gasp. You really had scrubbed yourself raw. Was it dramatic? Yes. Could you help it? No.

You dried your hair, tossing the towel on the floor before tucking yourself into your sheets. Just as you got comfy, the door to your bathroom swung open and immediately, your eyes bugged out. 

That’s it. The Kims are just very, very well endowed. 

Taehyung stood in the doorway in all his naked glory, his… monster hanging between his legs so casually, the skin around it surprisingly bare except for a very thin patch of hair. 

Your face flushed and you immediately turned over, away from him. A moment later, Taehyung joined you on the bed, slipping under the covers and spooning you. He hooked one leg over your hip and pressed you to his chest, nuzzling your hair. He whispered in your ear, “It’s ok. He can’t hurt you again. I won’t let him, none of us will.”

You sniffled. “H-How did you know I ran into him?”

Taehyung started mouthing at your neck, rubbing your arms soothingly. “When I heard you crying, I ran up here to investigate. His stench was all over your clothes.”

A growl bubbled up from his throat, as he squeezed you tighter to him. It made you shudder. Despite his sweet and caring words, he was getting… handsy, turning you towards him. “Tae? What are you doing?”

“Spoiling you.” A kiss to the underside of your jaw. “Let me do something a little more special than the others have done.” A kiss to the corner of your mouth. “And if you like it… the next time you’ll be able to have two of us inside you.” He kissed your mouth, swallowing your little gasp.

Before being in this relationship, you would’ve balked at the idea of doing anal. But now… the idea was more inviting than it should’ve been. “Mmmmm. Yes, Tae.”

You kissed him again, even as he giggled excitedly. Taehyung pulled away from you, which surprised you. Your brow knit together as he removed himself from your bed. He grabbed your discarded towel, wrapping it around his waist even as his growing erection began to tent it. He wrapped it so his whip like tail was hanging out, going a million miles per hour. “Be right back. Gotta grab a couple of things.”

Before you could acknowledge him, he was out your door, heading down to what you supposed was his room. A couple of short minutes later and couple of yells that strangely sounded like Hoseok and Yoongi, Taehyung returned, the towel barely still hanging onto him with two mysterious objects in hand. You glanced just in time to see him placing a couple of condoms and a small bottle of lube on your nightstand before he was on top of you, kissing your neck, making you shudder. 

“T-Tae— Tae, where did you get that? I didn’t think you all needed condoms.”

Taehyung giggled against your neck before glancing up at you through his eyelashes, a boxy smiling dazzling you. “Well… ever since the eight of us entered in this relationship, Hobi and Yoongs have been… exercising their carnal desires together… especially since Yoongi can’t, well, top yet.”

“Oh…. Wait! Is that what that yelling was about?”

Taehyung blushed heavily, looking bashful at you. You tried to reprimand him, you really did, but you couldn’t keep the smile off your face. “Tae! Naughty boy.”

“Mmmm… you know it.”

With that stupid smirk on his face he kissed you once more. You hummed kissing back. His tail began wagging, his towel finally falling off, making you giggle. Taehyung gave you a hard look for a moment before tickling you. You laughed, trying to get away from him. You turned on your stomach to try to get away from him. Wrong move.

He leaned over you and pinned your waist down with his own, his semi-erection, that you had momentarily forgotten about, rested between your ass cheeks. You both went still, no longer giggling at the feel of him sliding between your cheeks. His tail no longer wagged as his gaze grew dark.

You looked over your shoulder at him as began kissing his way down your neck, then your spine, leaving goosebumps in his wake. Before he got too far down your back, he reached over to the nightstand, grabbing the bottle of lube. He kissed further and further down your back and over the curve of your ass before nuzzling against one cheek, making you giggle.

Taehyung shot you one last boxy smile before grabbing your hips, lifting them up in the air slightly and spreading your legs. You tensed, feeling his tongue at your clit before he gently drew it into his mouth. You hummed in pleasure at the feeling of his soft lips on you. 

Slowly, you relaxed as he continued to concentrate on your clit, mewling with ever lick and suck. You were getting wetter and wetter; more and more excited. Just as you were close enough to scream for him to just fuck you, that’s when you heard it: the sound of a lid being flipped open and a viscus liquid being squirted. Taehyung pulled away from your pussy, kissing your left ass cheek. “This’ll feel a little cold. But it’ll feel good in a bit. Be good for me and don’t tense up too much.”

You hummed your understanding. “Good girl.”

He started off slow and gentle, rubbing the rim with one lubed up finger. He was right. It was cold and you tensed up immediately, but you willed yourself to relax. Taehyung rewarded you a kiss to your other ass cheek.

For the next few minutes, he just continued to tease the outside of your rim, slowly adding a little more pressure with every pass and he whispered sweet nothings to you; how beautiful you were, how good you were for him— for all of them, how lucky they were to have you.

Tears threatened to fall with each word. But not from anger or frustration or fear, but from the swelling of love that you felt for them. And from the small amount of self acceptance that he and the others had instilled in you. Perhaps in the process of falling in love with them, you had begun loving yourself again. Even if just a little bit.

It was as if he sensed, or perhaps rather, smelt, the change in your mood. Taehyung got up from his position behind, prone on his stomach, and practically crawled on top of you, the hand tracing your puckered entrance still applying gentle pressure as he kissed your tears away. His floppy ears grazed your cheek as he nuzzled you. 

You giggled at the feeling, making him do it again. You stopped giggling at the feeling of him slipping his finger inside of you. Again, it was foreign, but it didn’t hurt. You moaned when he started wiggling it inside you. He giggled, the kissed your cheek. “You like that?”

You nodded. “Mmhmm.”

“Then you’ll like this.”

He withdrew his finger for a moment before he slipped inside you again, this time with a second finger. There was a slight burning sensation at the stretch. You gasped when he started scissoring his fingers. He kissed just under your ear. “You ok?”

You swallowed. “Y-Yeah. It feels weird. But somehow… good.”

He buried his face in your neck and you could practically feel the heat radiating off of him as he blushed. “Want you so bad.”

“Then take me. Make me feel loved.”

Taehyung growled. You felt it reverberate against your back, his chest to it, making you shudder and your pussy clench. He pulled away to grab a condom from the nightstand, leaving you cold for a moment. You whined like a petulant child wanting his warmth to engulf you once more.

He chuckled. “Don’t be a naughty girl, now.”

You blushed at his words, burying your face in your pillow. You heard the tearing of the condom wrapper then a few moments later, you felt the blunt head of his cock press against you back entrance. He leaned over again, kissing your temple. “Tell me if it’s too much. I want to spoil you and make you feel good.”

You nodded. He smiled against your skin… then he playfully smacked your ass, making you squeak. “Tae!”

“Sorry. Couldn’t resist.”

He kissed your cheek. “You ready?”

You swallowed. No, you weren’t. But you wanted this. “Yes.”

Slowly and gently, he pushed in. It took all your concentration not to try to keep him out. But his little whispers of adorations and encouragements as he pushed in agonizingly slow helped you relax. After what felt like an eternity, the head of his cock slipped it. It burned. God, did it burn. Why was he so big? Why the hell were so many of them so big? Like what were the chances?

Once the head of his cock had popped in, Taehyung took a pause, groaning, and kissed the space between your shoulder blades. You panted slightly, “…Hurts….”

“It’s ok. We’re taking it slow. I won’t push further until you’re ready.”

You nodded and true to his word, Taehyung stayed still behind you, even though the desire to just pound you was radiating off of him. As the pain slowly started to ease up, you reached up, looking over your shoulder at him to gently stroke his hair, which led to you rubbing the base of his ears. He was so honest. His tail began to wag, even though you couldn’t hear it, the force of made the two of you sway slightly… and made you moan.

Taehyung stilled at the noise. He whispered in your ear, “More?”

“Yes.”

Inch by agonizing inch, Taehyung slowly pressed even further inside you. The stretched still burned but it was far more tolerable now that the widest part had past through. You concentrated on your breathing and relaxing, wanting this to be pleasurable for the both of you. As he pushed inside you, he kissed and sucked at the skin on your back, making you mewl. 

Once he was seated inside you, his hips pressed against your ass, he let out a deep rumble from within his chest that made your pussy quiver around nothing. As if feeling the spasms (which he probably did but your head was too hazy to care) on the other side of that thin wall, Taehyung hissed before biting down on your shoulder. You cried out.

It hurt a little; he didn’t pierce skin. More than anything, the pain was pleasurable and you felt your pussy begin to drip. It was such an odd feeling: being completely stuffed and yet so empty at the same time. Especially since your pussy to tried to milk Taehyung because of how good it was starting to feel having him inside you. And yet, it left you feeling incredibly needy as if all this hard work your pussy was doing was useless.

Taehyung whispered in your ear, “Stop that. Otherwise, I won’t be able to hold back.”

Your sweet puppy was on the verge of being feral… you wanted to see that. “Don’t hold back.”

Taehyung growled again and withdrew his hips slowly. You tensed. You couldn’t help but moan at the delicious drag, it felt… amazing. Just before he withdrew the head out, he stopped, pushing right back in. It was at this point you let out a long and loud moan. Taehyung froze. Then cursed. He growled out, “I told you to stop it.”

He firmly grabbed your hips, keeping you still as he gave you slow but hard thrust. You cried out. It was… good. It was so fucking good. He did it again, faster. You gasped, shuddering. Taehyung chuckled. “God… if I could you pregnant… I want to breed you like my little bitch.”

Lord, where did he learn to talk like that? You pussy gave a hard clench around nothing and you could feel your pussy drip all over your bed. He nipped at your ear as he began to thrust consistently.

You moaned and whined as he started fucking you faster and harder, mutter all the wonderful dirty things he and the others were going to do to you when you were ready to take them all. You bit your pillow trying to muffle your cries of pleasure as Taehyung pounded you.

But he was having none of that. He stopped pounding you for a moment, leaving you panting. Just as you were about question why he stopped, he pulled you up by your arms, bringing your back to his chest. He wrapped one arm around your chest, groping your breast and the other made its way to your pussy, cupping it. He cursed. “Fuck, you’re wet. If I were to call one of the others I’m sure they just slip right into this desperate little pussy. And, uuurgh— don’t hold back your voice. Let them hear how much you like getting your little virgin ass fucked.”

You whimpered at his words, scratching his arms to ground yourself as he started to pound your ass and grind the heel of his palm against your clit. You cried as you started feeling overwhelmed as he groaned against your ear. Your orgasm hit you like a freight train out of nowhere. You shook and cried. It was all too much.

“Fuck. You’re sopping. I— ugh— I have to pull out. I don’t want to hurt you with my knot.”

You barely caught your breath before whimpering out, “I-In my pussy. Knot my pussy! M-Make me yours, Tae!”

Taehyung’s hips stuttered. “Careful what you wish for.”

He carefully pulled out with a surprising amount of care given the circumstances. The moment the head of his cock slipped from your ass, you shuddered, a weak whine escaping your lips. The hand that had been playing with your pussy left you, reaching back to remove the condom, practically tearing it off. A moment later, you felt the pulsing heat of his cock head at your slick pussy entrance. 

Suddenly, he was in you, pounding away at your g-spot. You practically screamed as he wrapped his arms around you as he growled against your shoulder. Tears started spilling from your eyes from the intensity of it all. 

He muttered your name repeatedly until… he bit your shoulder, hard. As soon as his teeth sunk into your shoulder, you felt the semi familiar feeling of a knot growing within you. You whimpered at the full feeling followed by the feeling of him cumming.

You mewled at the feeling of him twitching within. “Tae… so good… s-so full.”

He growled through his own orgasm, his teeth still imprinting your skin. After a minute or two of being like that, Taehyung slowly released his hold on your shoulder. His hold loosened on you, turning into gentle pets of your skin, soothing the bruises already forming on your skin. As you both panted, he slowly lowered you both down to the bed, laying you both on your sides. 

The coolness of your sheets felt good against your gross and sweaty, heated skin. You both panted. Taehyung nuzzled your neck before moving to your shoulder, licking at the bruise that had already begun to form, trying to soothe it but also apologize. “I’m sorry. I got… rougher than I meant to.”

“No… don’t apologize. It was exactly what I needed right now.”

Still connected, you turned towards him as much as you could, kissing the corner of his mouth. “I love you. All of you.”

“We love you, too. I love you.”

As always, reviews, comments, asks, and tags are always loved! ~Peony

Also, please note that I do NOT do tagging lists. Please see my FAQ for why.

Next (Chapter 13 (Censored) // (Uncensored)) —>

Agape and Pragma Masterlist

Masterlist

All rights reserved. © Copyrighted 2019.

[raeofgayshine]

Charlie and Julius

For the anon who asked about Charlie and Julius:

This definitely got a lot longer than I intended, but I had a lot to say about them. So most of it will be under the read more. I do want to just put a few trigger warnings though. Nothing too in-depth, but there are mentions of: suicidal thoughts, character death (but not Charlie and Julius), a car crash, transphobia, and some less than great parenting (I think that’s everything, but if you need me to tag for anything else lmk). 

And if you would like to know more about them, you can check out the tags for them, I’ve mentioned them a few times here and posts that remind me of them. Or feel free to send me questions because I love to talk about these two.They are best boys.

So Charlie Austin and Julius Dauer

- The two of them have been best friends since childhood. I kind of go back and forth on what age/how they met (As I've used them in several stories), but officially the pair met when they were 4, in pre-k. And they became best friends almost instantly. A friendship that was only solidified by the fact they lived down the street from each other, which meant frequent playdates, and as they got older, the two of them constantly visiting each other’s houses (Although they did tend to spend more time at Charlie's house as Julius's parents were always... busy)

- Ever since they were young the two always had a knack for getting into trouble, with Charlie usually spearheading the way and Julius all too happily following behind him. 

- I honestly think of them almost akin to Phineas and Ferb in some regard. They definitely didn't get up to quite the scale of things those two did, mostly because they were scientists first and builders second. But like they were regularly creating explosions by age 8 and almost always challenging the laws of physics 

- (When they're 15 they may or may not have created a slightly unstable device that uh, destroyed a large part of a (thankfully deserted) island. But at other times couldn't create an explosion that even like, knocked over a fence. It was... unpredictable. But they worked out the kinks eventually)

- In high school, their experiments earn them the title of "Mad Scientists", with many people citing that Charlie is often the "mad" part of the duo because of his general recklessness. But it's just Julius is far quieter about his ideas really.

But uh, we'll get to high school in a moment. Let's back up slightly, back to childhood. 

- They got up to a lot of antics beyond their science experiments. 

- I mentioned that Julius's parents weren't around much? It's a bit more complicated than that. I don't want to get into too many details because that will make this a very long post, but basically, Julius's parents did not get along hardly at all. They had vastly different parenting styles, but honestly they also just really did not like each other. His mom mentioned once they had only got married because she had gotten pregnant with Julius. 

- Julius's mom traveled a lot. For work (and other things). She was hardly ever at the house, hardly spent time with Julius, but she did spoil him constantly in lavish gifts and would take his side in arguments only to piss off his dad. She always put on this show about loving him but also didn't know shit about him. 

- Julius's dad on the other hand... Well, let's just say he never made any time to spoil his son. He hardly made time to pay attention at all, it seemed to Julius, except to tell him that he could "do better" and not so subtly encourage him to hang out with someone better than Charlie. His dad had a lot of high expectations for Julius, from a young age Julius was placed in piano, ballet, as well as classes for several other instruments (violin, cello, guitar. As he gets older Julius also learns how to play other instruments to varying degrees, but the only one he sticks with is the ukulele). 

- Charlie had a habit of trying to cause trouble during Julius's lessons to scare off his various teachers, because he always thought it was too much pressure to place on a kid to do so much, and succeeds with most of them besides Julius's piano teacher. This is a big part of why Mr. Dauer does not like Charlie. He thinks he's a bad influence on Julius.

- It's not to say that Mr. Dauer doesn't care about Julius, it's just... he really wants Julius to be successful and get into an Ivy League school and have a good future. And he doesn't ever really understand he's pushing too much. He thinks because Julius is very smart and all of that, he can handle the pressure. 

- But he does care. When Julius comes out as trans (at 16/17), and his mom reacts extremely badly, Mr. Dauer does take Julius's side. Even though he doesn't really believe Julius is trans and straight-up says he thinks it's a side effect of having so many guy friends, you know he is willing to let Julius continue going to the same school and ride out this "phase" because he had been doing a lot better since starting high school (At an all-boys school, although he was originally meant to go to the sister school) and as long as he kept his grades up, Mr. Dauer didn't really care. 

- (And he does come around eventually to accepting Julius, but that takes quite a few years and it happens slowly over a long time). 

- And you know, Mr. Dauer was the one who raised Julius after his parents split up. When Juls was 11, they got a divorce and his mom left without even caring to fight for him. Sent occasional gifts afterward but Julius hardly saw her except for a week over the summer and sometimes around the holidays, if his dad pushed for his mom to take him.

- On the other hand, Charlie had a very very close relationship with his parents. And in many regards his parents kind of adopted Julius a bit as a second kid. They were the polar opposite of Julius's family. Not perfect, but pretty fucking close

- Charlie and Julius were nearly inseparable growing up, as I mentioned. They were together all of the time, never saw one without the other close behind. 

- Well, never saw them apart until they were 11. That's when Julius's parents got announced to him they were getting a divorce, and with very little warning Julius's dad informed him that they were moving. 

- And Charlie was on vacation at the time. They never got a chance to say goodbye. 

- Well, not fully. See, Julius wasn't stupid. He had heard his parents talking about getting a divorce, the pair fighting late into the night for over a week. 

- Before Charlie left on vacation, Julius did a bit of goodbye. See, Charlie and Julius's favorite movie as kids was Winnie-The-Pooh, they were very attached to the characters. They even called each other Robin (Julius) and Bear (Charlie). So before Charlie left, Julius as sappy as he was, he just asked Charlie not to forget him. ("And Bear? Promise you won't forget me? Ever?" "Oh I won't Robin, I promise." "Not even when I'm 100?" "How old shall I be then?" "99. Silly old bear.")

- The next few years were hard for the two of them. You know, they were best friends, and without each other, both of them felt lost. Julius really struggled in school to keep up with the pressure put on him by his dad, without Charlie there to balance him out, it got really hard. And he never really made any new friends, he was too busy just trying to cling the fuck on, and not let other people notice just how much he was struggling. Because he didn't want to disappoint his dad. 

- Things were... harder for Charlie in the end. He had other friends, kids on his soccer team, he was always outgoing and stuff, but never any as close as Julius. He probably would have been okay though but

- When Charlie was  12, his parents were killed in a car accident on the way to his soccer game. And Charlie walked away with a few cuts and bruises and a broken arm.

- Charlie wouldn't admit it, but for years he blamed himself for the death of his parents. It... took a few months for the guilt to hit him. For a while, he tries to push away the pain, the grief, the guilt. To the outside world, he seems to cope with it all remarkably well. 

- He moves in with his aunt, uncle, and cousin. He throws himself into school and into sports (Baseball, he couldn't do soccer anymore, not after...) and into student government, keeps himself busy all the time

- It's not enough. Of course, it's not enough. I mean, it's enough certainly to convince everyone else that he's doing okay. Charlie has always been really good about hiding his emotions from everyone who wasn't Julius (who was the only person Charlie ever let himself be vulnerable around). So no one seems to notice that Charlie has become suicidal. Living starts to be really hard for Charlie, and there's a point where the only thing that keeps him alive is that he doesn't want his aunt and uncle to have to find his body. He knows it's a problem, that he should tell someone, but he's too scared of how they'll react. And he doesn't really feel like he's worth being saved anyways. ("And the ghost of survivors guilt can be so kind") 

- Besides, Charlie knows he just has to make it until he gets to high school. Knows that he'll be attending the private boarding school his dad and uncle both did come 9th grade. It's states away. If he could just make it there... well at least his family wouldn't have to find him. 

- Of course, that plan all goes straight out the window when Charlie arrives and finds that his roommate is none other than Julius. And god knows Charlie definitely couldn't hurt Julius like that either. 

- And Julius needed him. All it takes is one look for Charlie to see all the cracks in his best friend, the pressure from his dad combined with a newer fear of being outed to his parents, of being trans in general (because that was still new for Julius. He had only found the word less than a year ago. And the school was safe but... he was so scared. And he hadn't had anyone to talk to about it).

- So maybe it takes a little bit for Julius to really notice the cracks in Charlie as well. Charlie was, after all, the better of the pair of putting on a brave face. In fact, even as kids Julius had called Charlie his courage, and this hadn't changed. Julius breaks down the first time that they meet again, and Charlie becomes pretty much determined to... stay strong for Julius. ("This is not what I intended. I always swore to you I'd never fall apart. You always thought that I was stronger.")

- Charlie really is Julius's courage though. He makes it easier for Julius to breathe again. For the first time in years, with Charlie by his side, Julius feels like he can do anything. 

- And eventually, when his world no longer feels now like it's falling apart, and Julius feels like there isn't the weight of the world on his shoulders, he starts to notice that Charlie isn't as okay as he says he is. And Julius is hesitant to bring it up at first, because he didn't want to push Charlie away, wanted to give him space to open up on his own terms. 

- But when it becomes clear he isn't going to, and Julius is so so worried, eventually... he confronts Charlie. And it takes hours and hours of wearing Charlie down before he breaks and finally admits everything he had been keeping in. Admits all of the guilt and self-hatred he had been holding. 

- For the first time in their friendship, it becomes Julius's turn to be Charlie's courage. He's scared, he's so fucking scared hearing the things that come out of his best friend’s mouth, but he is determined not to let Charlie know that. Because Charlie needed him now to be strong.

- After getting Charlie to open up, the next hurdle for Julius becomes convincing Charlie that he needs to get help. Charlie is terrified to tell his Aunt and Uncle because he doesn’t want to upset them. He doesn’t know how they’ll react. 

- But with Julius as his courage, Charlie tells them. Right before Christmas break, Charlie admits that he needs help to his Aunt and Uncle. They’re shocked and upset and blame themselves for not seeing that Charlie was struggling, but they promise to get him help. 

- They discuss, over break, they discuss Charlie not going back to school. They think that he needs time off and he needs to be at home to recover. Charlie argues with them constantly to let him go back. That he could see a therapist near the school and he had Julius to watch out for him

- They don’t relent until almost two weeks after the second half of the year had started. There were conditions and a lot of concerns, but everyone could see that Julius was important for Charlie to be able to heal.

- And it’s not like things get better overnight. Both Charlie and Julius continue to struggle, to have their bad days. But unlike before, now they have each other. And together they could do just about anything.

- As I said before, they become known as the Mad Scientists. They reign terror in the science labs, cause explosions and set off the fire alarm so regularly that the whole school just kind of stops noticing it. Most students avoid the science wing outside of class, and for those who wind up in a science class with them well... it’s certainly never a boring time. 

- Much like as kids the two of them are hardly ever apart, so much so that their friends frequently call them Chalius just because it was quicker. And everyone pretty much knew that if you told Charlie something, Julius was bound to know it as well and vice versa. 

- A lot of people assume that the two of them are dating. Or if not dating then they assume that they are just oblivious idiots, who are both in love with each other and just won’t admit it. 

- It’s because of the way they act. The fact that they’re always attached at the hip, hold each other hands nearly all the time. Always sit one pressed against the other, arms and legs touching, and oftentimes you would find the two of them just curled together. Charlie would easily plop into Julius’s lap to stay close, and Julius loves to lay with his head in Charlie’s lap so that Charlie could play with his hair. They hugged each other tightly, Julius always resting his chin on Charlie’s head protectively. They called each other by their nicknames and acted so soft and sweet sometimes their friends teased they were going to get cavities just watching them. 

- And of course, Charlie and Julius love each other, but what they had wasn’t a romantic relationship. The closest they can come to finding something to call it is Queerplatonic Relationship, but for the most part, they insist that they are just Charlie and Julius. Nothing more and nothing less. They can’t explain it. But it’s theirs. And they’re so so happy with it.

- (They only ever tell their friends about them being something akin to QPPs. They don’t really mind other people making assumptions, as long as those they care about understand and accept them. The rest of the world didn’t matter).

- They have a handful of ways in which they calm each other down, provide comfort, or even just provide a distraction from each other’s thoughts. Charlie very frequently plays with Julius's hair (which he keeps about shoulder length, he likes to have it long and he loves Charlie playing with it) which helps them both relax. Julius will "play the piano" on Charlie's arm as a way to help keep Charlie grounded, depending on what Charlie needs sometimes Julius attempts to have Charlie guess which piece he is playing, other times he simply just "plays" whatever piece comes to mind and occasionally will sing along. Julius will also play the real piano for Charlie if it is available, although he plays the ukulele when he's trying to keep himself distracted. And Charlie will sing to Julius if they're alone. "Their song" is Somewhere Only We Know, but sometimes Charlie will sing other things, including Return To Pooh Corner as another favorite. 

- Once they're reunited, the two of them even start spending the summers together. Charlie's family on his aunt's side runs a successful hotel chain and the two of them often spend the summer at one of those hotels in a tourist town beach. 

- They're actually kind of local legends at the hotel. Julius in particular is known for his karaoke skills. Despite years of training Julius does tend to be very anxious about performing in general. Except when it comes to karaoke.  He's performed a wide array of songs, some with Charlie and some on his own. My personal favorite of the ones I've thought of is That Don't Impress Me Much, which also happens to be the first karaoke performance his other friends get to see.

- Charlie can’t drive. In fact, he doesn’t even really like to be in cars ever since his parents died, it makes him anxious because he’s worried about another car crash happening. But it helps to have someone there to hold his hand, provide a distraction. He gets nervous when his friends and family are in cars too, always makes them text him when they arrive so he knows that they’re safe. But he refuses to drive. Period. He never wants to be in the position where he’s in charge of someone else’s life like that. 

- Technically speaking, there is a no pet/animal policy in the dorms. But Charlie and Julius tend to ignore that. Not for their own pets, but... They rescue lab animals. From the nearby college, other high schools. They find about animals being used for experiments and they take them in. Usually only temporarily, until a permanent home can be found for them. They work with a local group of college students who have been trying to protest this type of research for years and a local rescue. Sometimes they get non-lab animals, usually snakes or rats, animals other people wouldn’t take.

- (Their friends only learn about this operation in Charlie and Julius’s Junior year, when they have to recruit them to find a missing snake).

- The entire school kind of loves Charlie and Julius, because they will cause chaos if asked. Like slip them a note and $5 and they’ll set off the fire alarm right when you’re supposed to be having a test. A little more, a please, a good story, maybe they’ll even shut the school down for the day. And they get away with it because nobody thinks they’re doing it on purpose. They set the alarms off so often on accident, that no one would even consider that they were doing it on purpose.

- Charlie starts to play soccer again, in his sophomore year. It’s really hard at first, he almost quits after the first practice because it reminds him of his parents and it hurts. But Julius convinces him to stick it out, because Charlie loved soccer and Juls knew he missed playing. It gets easier with every practice, and in the end, Charlie is happy to be back on a team again but isn’t ever quite the same as before.

- Julius is the resident worrywart of their larger friend group. Their friends tease it’s because Charlie is the exact opposite, reckless, the type of person who acts first and thinks later.

- Julius is trans, aro? he thinks? And ace 

- Charlie is pan

- They have matching tattoos, Winnie-The-Pooh themed, although I’m still figuring out what exactly they look like. 

- Charlie has tattoos for his parents, although again I don’t fully know what those look like yet

- Julius’s birthday is September 2nd, and his name in their friend group chat is PianoMan

- Charlie’s birthday is July 25th and his name in their friend group chat is Exploding Charlie 

[hwanggeum-ashi]

Bun In The Oven

➝Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x reader

➝Genre: fluff, smut( impreg kink,filthy talk idk)

➝Word count: 1854

➝Note: this is prolly not what you wanted but I tried my best and this is my first time writing this so idk. Also I couldn't figure out how to post it under the ask so I made a separate post lol

Baby magazines, books and pictures were splayed all over the bed, where you were currently

sitting with awestruck eyes

You flipped through the pages ‘aww-ing’ at the baby pictures all so cute one after the other

You looked up to check the time— 9:23pm. Your eyebrows furrowed. he should be here by now

You grabbed your phone from the table to call him but at the same time front door opened

“hey baby” he kissed you as soon as you came running out of the room “how was your day?”

You grabbed his suitcase and helped him out of his coat “oh it was amazing. All the girls were jealous of the ring!” you said waving the big diamond on your third finger at him. He chuckled in response “well I’m glad you had fun. My day was shit”

You followed him to the room and began massaging his shoulders when he plopped down on the bed “Namjoon made you work too hard?”

“That and I’ve got to work this weekend”

Your mouth involuntarily morphed into a pout “but we have dinner at mom’s this weekend”

He tapped your hands to tell you to stop massaging “thanks babe-” He went to the table to remove his tie and watch “-i know about the dinner but this work.. It’s really important. We can call and reschedule yeah?”

You gave him a back hug and kissed his shoulder, both looking at each other through the mirror “yeah I’ll call mom. Dinner will be ready in 15. Wash and come out yeah?” He turned to kiss you “okay”

Your thoughts drift to today’s baby shower while you set the table. Your friend was looking so beautiful with all the pinks and whites—her theme for it.She looked so happy

You couldn’t help but sigh at the idea of how your baby shower would go

Your daydreaming got the best of you and your thoughts drifted further. You’d be all clad in pastels and bit of gold

Balloons everywhere. Pretty cake, chocolate of course, you can’t handle the cream of fondant

Your parents and his parents, friends all together surrounding you

And the gifts

Oh them gifts, loads and loads of them

You’d be lying if you say you weren’t holding a baby shower for gifts

It all comes down to presents anyway lol

“what is my baby all smiling about?” a pair of strong arms encircled you. You jumped a little then relaxed.

“just thinking about today, you know..” his head was resting on your shoulder, wet hair making your ears cold. “yeah? Tell me about it”

He helped you bring the food to the table and once you both settled, you started giving cinematic details about the baby shower

He was all smiles listening to you with one hand tucked under his chin. Gosh he was so in love with you

“it was so beautiful kookie. I wish you were there”

You both were now cleaning up. “I really want that you know?” Jungkook behind you stopped in his tracks. His eyes shining with mischief “oh yeah?”

You turned around beaming at him only to find him smirking at you. You knew that look. And uh-oh you were in trouble

“y-yeah..”

He took a step towards you “then”

Another step

“how about”

Another one

“we make”

And another

“that happen?

You were now trapped between him and the kitchen slab. He tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear, letting his hand softly slide down your cheek

"You’re so beautiful. And you’ll be more beautiful with my baby in you” You gasped at his bluntness and he took the opportunity to kiss you

He bit your lower lip, pulling it. His hands holding your waists, fingers digging in the flesh

He kissed down your neck, moving your shirt aside

His hands travel up your stomach to your breasts. He squeezes it “mm fuck.. No bra?”

“it’s freaking 11, who wears a bra at home” A harsh slap came down on your ass making you jump, mouth open. “you watch your tone with me baby girl”

“y-yes..”

“yes what?” he squeezes your ass bringing your core exactly in line with his crotch

“yes jungkook”

Hearing his name out of your mouth all breathless was something that riled him up too quick. At the feel of his hand under your thigh you jump up and wrap your legs around his torso. He effortlessly carried you to the room, kissing you all the way.

“mm fuck you’re too hot” jungkook’s mouth is latched onto your neck sucking red purple bruises.

Your fingers dig in the flesh of his biceps. Oh god them muscles.  "fuck kook!“

His lips find purchase under your earlobe which makes you moan out loud. His hands roam all over your naked breasts, giving them a harsh squeeze. You arch up under his touch, mouth open. "fuck too soft ugh baby!”

His fingers twist and pinch your nipple which only harden further. His hands travelled down from your breasts to your stomach, tracing the middle area. His hands stays on your belly and he put a little pressure, making you gasp. “soon it’ll be our little baby putting pressure in there.”

Your eyes close on your own and you press your head further into the pillow. Your breathing became heavy as he assaulted your boobs knowing fully well how sensitive you were there.

He traced kisses from your abdomen to the underside of your breasts. His lips suck at the supple flesh, finally finding the protruding nub and your breath hitches. He sucks and bites your nipple earning a loud moan from you. “Fuck I can’t stop thinking about how you’ll look with these breasts full of milk. I’ll milk you dry baby. Fuck I’ll be drinking that like a man thirsting.”

Your head sways to your left, eyes shut closed tightly, breathing fast and hard at the images he put on your mind. The view of you all plump and soft makes blood rush to his already hardened cock.

one of his hands come in contact with your inner thigh, urging you to pull your legs apart and you oblige. He leaves a trail of wet kisses all over your inner thigh, repeating the process on the other leg.

His fingers run incessantly on your engorged clit, all swollen up due to lack of release. You moan when he uses the tip of his nails to add more sensations. The pleasure has your arching your back so high that it hurts and eliciting his name from your mouth. “J-Jungkook!!”

He inserts in two fingers without warning with his free hands and your hole is gaping. His pace is slow, fingers going in and out of you, skin of his fingers feeling the softness and the warmth of your cunt.

It’s soft and pillowy where he puts pressure to make you grip his arm and wrist. Your breathing is ragged and you feel the familiar knot in your stomach. “I’m close kook!” his name comes out as a whine.

“it’s alright baby, cum for me” and god you do. You let loose when his middle finger pushes up to press on your g-spot. Your legs are shaking and vision all white. You meekly shake his hand away that is still playing with your clit because of overstimulation.

He gives you breather as he strokes his own length, covering it with your cum and his pre cum. And fuck that is a sight to behold. You bring your hand out to hold his cock but he slaps it away and quickly settles himself between your legs.

His cock pokes at your entrance and you’re already gaping at the feeling. “gonna fuck you so hard with my cock, you’ll be mess.” he states as he pushes the whole of his length inside you. Your hands delve into his back muscles as you moan.

He brings himself all the way out and snaps into you with such a force that has you moving up slightly. His hands go back to your breasts once again. “You look so fucking hot with my cock in you. Imagine how you’ll look when I’ll fuck you while you’re all round and full of our baby.”

Obscene images flash your mind and your core decides to gush out a new wave of wetness. “You like that huh? Me fucking you even when you’re pregnant? You like it all don’t you? Want me to suck you dry, drink all of your milk huh?”

His thrusts fastens as he pistons in and out of you, clearly aroused by the thought himself too. He pulls your legs up to your chest finding a better angle to reach the deepest part of you.

You’re putty in his hands, too drunk on his cock and mouth that is currently biting your nipple.

His free hand travels down to where you both are joined. “Holy fuck baby! You’re dripping. You’re so fucking hot! Fuck fuck!”

You grab his head and kiss him, mumbling how good he made you feel along the lines. You’re close he knows it and he’s not far behind but you just need a little more push. “k-keep talking kook!”

He smirks at your fucked out expression. “You like that? Me filling you up with my cum? You’ll be filled to the brim baby. fuck you’ll be leaking all over. And when you’re empty, I’ll fill you up again and again, painting your walls white with my cum”

He thrusts deeper, harder this time. You’re lost in too much sensation and pleasure and his filthy, filthy mouth. “F-fuck thats hot..”

He rubs your clit, making you shoot up into him. “y-yeah? You’ll be so fucking hot when I put a baby in you. You’ll be all round and soft. So plump. You’ll be so full of me. Fuck wanna make you pregnant over and over again. Have kids just to see you leaking from your breasts and cunt. To fuck you while you’re so plump and soft.”

His words sends you over the edge and you see all white flash in front of your eyes. You vaguely remember calling his name in ecstasy. You feel his thrusts getting sloppy so you know he’s close.

“fuck baby, keep clenching around me like that and i wont be able to hold off longer.”

You wrap your limp arms around his neck and pull his face down to kiss him “go on baby, cum in me. Fill me up with your cum. Wanna feel that hot liquid inside me.”

“Fuck you’re too much!” he buries his head in your neck as long, warm spurts of white liquid fills your overly sensitive and swollen cunt. You both moan at the feeling.

Carefully he pulls out of you and plops down next to you. After a minute or so you get up to clean yourself only to be held back by his strong arms.

“don’t.” he sweeps the cum pooling between your heat and sheets and pushes it inside your pussy. . “keep it in babe. Trying to make a baby here.”

 @jeongguksdoll I hope you love it 

[im-just-trying-to-survive-man]

ok so i feel like telling the world my bias list (kpop) for no reason and i was a little scared to but oh well lol

im gonna do this in parts. this list is my bias’ in boygroups pt.1

soo yeah if you wanna see some beautiful asian men you can keep reading lol

kinda turned out long oop

imma do nct on another post bc thats fucking loonngggg

1. kim hongjoong; stage name: hongjoong (leader of ateez, rapper, lyricist, producer and composer (i forget if those are the same thing) )

king of the lesbians

personally i think hes SOME type of gay but, y’know, you do you baby (’good lil boy’ is the song he wrote on their new album akjsdl)

prince of mullets in kpop (king is minghao from seventeen)

so?? pretty???

he paints his nails for the polished man campaign!!! (this was before the group became ambassadors.) v socially aware as well

his voice is very high for a rapper but i rly love it

wanna hear what he thinks of atinys?? (the fandom) listen to ‘aurora’

korean big minion 

very very good at english, despite what he says

is so caring for his ‘children’ ugh such an amazing leader

also a little brat sometimes but we dont talk about it

a MAN

fuck gender roles

5′7 skirt guy you’ve probably heard of in the kpop tiktok community

the official campaign pic:

2. han jisung; stage name: han (main rapper of stray kids, lead vocalist, producer and composer, lyricist, ult bias uwu)

heres the tea

this man literally saved my life

he has been through so much and i relate to that. seeing that he made it through the worst gave me hope.

his music and lyrics just speak to me (wanna see me cry? send me the song ‘19′, its written by him)

on to the happier things

his s q u i r r e l   c h e e k s

hes honestly so pleasing to look at ugh

vocals????? fricking great???? listen to ‘hellevator’ and ‘district 9′ for his vocals

jEoGiYa NoOnA HoKsI nAmJaChInGu IsSeOyO (’wow’ 3RACHA)

part of 3RACHA, a rap group between him and two other members

his american name is peter and he loves nat geo wild and cheesecakes and honestly if thats not amazing idk what is

lived in malaysia??? for 6 years???? lovin the melanin y’all

THE FUNNIIEST MAN ALIVE Y’ALL WAIT PLEASE WATCH THIS VIDEO IDK WHY BUT ITS SO FUNNY TO ME

3. im changkyun; stage name: I.M. (lead rapper of monsta x, sub-vocalist, maknae (the youngest), producer and composer)

fam im WHIPPED for this man like honestly i dont like subbing or sex in general lol ace things but i’d let him r a i l me

lived in america for 3 years and israel for 4; speaks fluent english and its SEXY

rapping skills??? on point???? both in english and korean ugh

LOOK AT HIM HIS DIMPLES AND HIS FACE AND UGH

is one of those people that does n o t like to be touched but then he’ll kiss your cheek out of nowhere

babie

VERY SOCIALLY AWARE LIKE HE SAID FUCK TOXIC MASCULINITY AND MISOGYNY 

confident in his own skin and super open about it

“For IM, ‘Wearing a harness is just to express our song concept. Showing the audience what we want to show is the most important thing. We’re not ashamed. We’ve done a lot of sexual items, like harnesses and chains. We’re comfortable.’ “ 

“But, for argument’s sake, where does your own sense of masculinity come from? IM pauses for a long moment. ‘Having a dick,’ he says bluntly, sipping coffee as his bandmates’ jaws drop and shocked laughter ripples around the table.”

that interview is here 

kinky lil bitch

i can go on and on about this man but im just gonna stop there

i lied he has tattoos (one on his wrist [ :): ] and the one on the nape of his neck, it reads “the one who wants to wear the crown must bear the crown”)

i like this picture bc its his hands and theyre pretty and fuck gender roles from a kpop idol

thats enough of him 

4. kim wonpil; stage name: wonpil (pianist, synthesizer, and keyboardist in day6, lyricist, vocalist, also a a dj and mc for a podcast)

Y’ALL LOOK AT HIM UGH

was the maknae but then dowoon came along and now hes not lol

Unbothered™

honestly like hes such a good pianist and is really great on the keys

is really good at making song lyrics out of thin air

like, he can hear the sentence “i really want chicken rn but i can’t have it im on a diet” and he’ll get “i crave your taste, but there is a wall i built myself blocking you from my love” like literally

im pretty sure he wrote the chorus for their song ‘zombie’

honestly bruh his vocals are so good

like pls go listen to ‘emergency’ and ‘congratulations’ (theres an english version for that song alsjdk)

guys hes just a big babie honestly

so pretty to look at omg

HES SO FUNNY AND HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW IT 

“i dont really care what my spouse looks like or what gender they are, as long as we’re happy and they love me” (wish i could find that photoset)

5. kim namjoon: stage name: RM (leader of bts, main rapper, sub-vocalist, lyricist, producer and composer)

literally the reason im into kpop, so thank you namjoon

a 5′11 babie, tbh

i remember finding out he had his own like, mixtape (’mono.’) and iT WAS SO GOOD AND IT STILL IS KAJHDJ

an amazing rapper and leader

can sing and i do not CARE what anyone says

so as you can see by now i kinda of have a type (except wonpil, idk wtf is going on there with me biasing him laksjk #no regrets)

anyway yeah he was the first kpop boy i found, and it was on his birthday

so every year on september 11th 11:50 p.m., i start i planting a tree in my backyard (bc then its on his birthday in america and korea lakajs so quirky i know) also bc its the day i started listening to kpop so its an anniversary for me lol. 

mOoNcHiLd

very very psychological

also very inspiring and loving (to the fans)

doesn’t really show affection, hes better with words than actions, and i really relate to that

dimples aGAIN

and last but not least for this list bc its already so frickin long

6. byun baekhyun; stage name: baekhyun (main dancer of exo, main singer, sub rapper, pianist, actor)

he’s so talented???? and amazing???? and overall just kinda perfect??????

AMAZING FUCKING VOCALS LIKE Y’ALL GO GO GO GO GOGOOG OG LISTEN TO HIS GROUPS SONG ‘ONE (MONSTER AND INFINITY)′ BECAUSE THAT SHIT SLAPS UGH

AND LIKE GROWL??? BRO????? MY VOCAL CORDS SNAPPED

dated another idol in the past but personally i think he’s a little *hand goes limp* if you know what i mean

my sister (4) calls him bacon he said it in an interview one time and it stuck to her

chesticles

MONSTER ERA UGH GOT ME DEAADDDD

is a solo artist too!!!!!!! go listen to his albums!!!! theyre really good!!!!

hes so frickin funny omg like i can laugh at with him all day

understands english but refuses to speak it

honestly kokobop baek was amazing idc what anyone says

is in like 3 different groups damn (like two of them are sub-units of his group and the other one is superm lol)

pls go watch the ‘men on a mission’ episodes with exo bc hes so fucking hilarious i will never get over it

a clown ass bitch that is always ready to square tf up a caring and v nice person that wont fight anyone ever

AN AMAZING ACTOR OMMGGGG BABIE GOT SKILLS

can also tapdance

lots of video games

very very very very very loud when playing video games

another man i endlessly love

well. if you made it this far, congrats!!! and thanks!!! i honestly dont care if no one sees this lol i just kinda wanted to do it, so, yeah lol. theres still more groups (superm, nct (seperate post), seventeen, vixx, pentagon, the rose, annnd oneus)then like idk if i’ll do a soloist one, so yeah. this kinda gives me something to do its one big infodump and im sorry lmao. yeah, love y’all !!!

[honeyedlashton]

“Fireflies and Make Believe”

Word count: 2788

Warnings: Language (listen I swear when I write. It lets off steam.)

A/N: Okay I’ll admit I was greatly inspired by Dreamboy for this fic. Fetus Malum is a win always. And idk man. I just really wanted to have some quality soft times with these boys who have known each other for 14 years. They’re BABIES in this. Like actually 11–almost in Calum’s case. So I could find no fetus Malum pictures to go along with the age, so I’m using the iconic baby baby one of them. (My picture quality just keeps getting better and better.) Anyway, here these boys are. Hope you enjoy:

———————————————————————

It was the summer of dreams, that break just between fifth and sixth year. When the hot December air was bringing in endless heat waves, Calum could not have been more excited because he and Michael made plans to spend as much time as possible together in their off time.

And unlike most people’s plans, it actually happened for them. When Michael wasn’t over at Calum’s, Calum was at Michael’s. Luckily their parents didn’t seem to mind carting them to the other’s house when they were having so much fun.

Plus two eleven-year-old boys—well almost eleven, in Calum’s case—always had something to do. Michael had loads of video games and a guitar he sometimes let Calum mess around with—but Calum determined quickly that the guitar was not for him. Calum had football, but when Michael was over he didn’t really force him to play unless it was in the cool of the evening, so Calum’s house became the place where they watched tons of movies. Calum would guess they’d been through at least half a million by the end of break.

Both were lightweights and couldn’t stay up all night—though not for lack of trying. On more than a few occasions they’d woken up sometime mid-morning with Calum’s carpet indented on Michael’s cheek, a stream of drool trailing down Calum’s arm from his own mouth, and the home screen of whatever dvd they were watching running on a continuous loop.

They’d always rewatch the ending.

Calum was fond of the time they spent together. In fact, it was mostly because of the time they’d spent together that made it the summer of dreams. Michael was so interesting, and funny, and he always had something nice to say to him. He could go on for hours about any topic that interested them both. And Calum didn’t mind if he talked for a while in the dark of the night while they had both at least attempted to go to sleep. He liked hearing what Michael had to say. He couldn’t be more thrilled to have a best friend as caring and charismatic as Michael Clifford.

Michael’s neighborhood had a pool, and on certain nights of the week—specifically Friday and Saturday—the pool closed later at night than during a normal day. Calum loved, going to Michael’s house on the weekend because that meant night swims two days in a row. And while it was one of the only outdoor activities where he was in danger of having to talk to people he didn’t know, he just enjoyed being in the pool, freezing in the chilly water and being rewarmed by the concrete that still radiated heat after the sun was down.

Plus the games he and Michael would play he would consider to be better than all the other kids’ at the pool, because Michael was sort of a gaming legend and he always knew how to make it interesting. And on the off-chance other kids did join them, he was always helpful and kind to others, too—something Calum occasionally had to remind himself was okay.

Calum didn’t understand why the idea of Michael being friendly to someone else made him so upset. At least he didn’t until one Friday night after New Years.

He hadn’t seen Michael in way over a week. They went to the pool as normal, they had their swim trunks in plastic bags with towels and sunscreen—even though the sun would set soon, Micheal’s mother insisted and Calum was no one to fight it. They chatted about all the things they got for Christmas and Michael went on about a movie they were going to have to see soon. Calum giggled along with each of Michael’s hilarious New Years stories, grateful to be in the presence of his best friend again.

When they arrived to the pool the boys headed straight to the locker room and quickly changed out of their jeans. Calum was anxious to get back out in the water, it had been a while and he ached for the cool, unsteady rhythm of the water to soak him to the bone.

But when he turned around to ask Michael if he was ready, he saw something he never thought he’d see. His best friend in light purple swim shorts. This momentarily threw Calum off track because he didn’t expect it, it was so different from anything he’d ever seen Michael wear.

“Oh? You like my swim trunks?” Michael smiled that soft smile he got when he was proud of something. “They’re the GIR shorts I was telling you about.”

When Michael had described getting Invader Zim shorts, he for some reason had expected the shorts to be the same green color as the cartoon character for which it’s advertising, not a light purple...

“Do you like them?” Michael asked sort of suspiciously when Calum kept staring. The easy, proud smile was gone and Calum knew he had to act fast.

“Yeah, they’re cool, man,” Calum assured Michael. And Michael seemed to accept the answer. Whether or not he believed Calum, that was a different conversation.

“C’mon,” Michael said closing the locker, “I’ve been waiting for two weeks for your lame ass to get here so I could swim again.”

And when he started walking, Calum could see the little green cartoon decal on the side of the shorts.

On the walk to the water Calum found himself thinking about the color of his own shorts, the plain navy blue with a thin white stripe up the side. He wondered briefly what people would say if he wore purple shorts like that.

It wasn’t that he disliked them, he just couldn’t look away from them. Or Michael for that matter. And he felt that sort of weird tug at his stomach he’d sometimes felt during the summer. It wasn’t a bad or good, just sort of uncomfortable for a second, and then it’s gone.

“Dude, hurry up, I’ve been thinking about this game of Space Invaders forever,” Michael called from the edge already.

Calum walked faster—which it wasn’t running—and jumped in tugging Michael with him.

The water was still a little warm, but not for long. “Dickhead,” Michael shouted when he resurfaced.

Calum giggled and gave a few apologetic looks at the few displeased parents whose children were about to be exposed to the wrath of Michael Clifford. “You could have warned me you were gonna push me in!” Michael pushed a wave of water at Calum’s face.

Calum felt a little water go up the nose but was otherwise able to splash back playfully. But that only caused the two of them to get into a splash fight. Unfortunately a few poorly aimed splashes hit a couple of girls who were for some reason trying not to get their hair wet. Calum didn’t understand, nor did he care. Only about what Michael was gonna do next, because it was probably going to be evil.

But before Michael could act Calum held his hand out. “Truce!” He offered.

“As long as that means I win, then yes.”

“Fine, you win.”

Michael’s red lips formed a smirk, and he shook Calum’s hand. “Good. I wanna play our game anyway, so I forgive you.”

Calum smiled. “Whats so different about this game of Space Invaders, anyway?”

“Well usually we’ve been playing where I’m the alien, and you’re the guardian of earth—A-K-A: the pool. And that’s gonna stay the same, but this time it’s the final showdown. Winner takes all. No more Space Invaders till we aren’t sick of it anymore. Plus whoever wins doesn’t get splashed for a month, but they can splash however much they want.”

This intrigued Calum, because Michael was relentless when he’d splash. It always found a way to get caught in Calum’s nose and throat, and he would do anything to give Michael a taste of his own medicine. “You’re on!”

So the two set out. Calum in the middle of the pool, Michael along the side.

“You’ll never take this planet,” Calum called, getting in a vaguely defensive position.

“And you’ll never take me alive!” Michael called back, completely immersed in character. He dove under the water to swim at Calum—meaning he had to be quick to move out of the way.

The good thing about this game was the fact that it tired them both out relatively quickly. However this time—with splash immunity on the line—neither of them were willing to forfeit. Not even when it was mandatory break time. They just sat at the edge of the pool barely talking. Calum was going through strategies in his mind of how he could beat Michael.

And he didn’t know what he expected when he looked at Michael, but he was still wearing those shorts and Calum’s breath caught...

It was so easy to forget about them in the pool, but outside? Oh boy. It was worse than Calum even thought. He felt the pull in his stomach, and this time warmth spread across his face.

The sun was down now, and there was only the lights along the inside of the pool and the locker room building keeping their shapes from blending into the darkness. The moon was out too. Big and bright and beautiful.

Calum bit his lip lightly and looked over the profile of Michael’s face out of the corner of his eye, so it wasn’t noticeable. He felt that strange tug again and...

Oh.

It hit him all at once. And he didn’t know if he wanted to run away, or stay close. But he realized like a switched on lightbulb that Michael was the prettiest face he’d ever seen.

His blush grew worse then, and he only prayed nothing more telling happened, especially during their wait for the signal to let them back in the pool.

“Are you alright, man?” Michael looked at him with those soft eyes. Everything about him was so soft and kind and gentle and... fuck.

“Y-yeah,” Calum said unconvincingly. “Just cold.”

“The water is gonna be cold,” Michael smirked. “Are you sure you sure you’re gonna be able to defend Earth while your teeth are chattering?”

“You just wish you could get in my head,” Calum rolled his eyes trying to find some form of normal. “You’re never gonna win.”

“We’ll see about that...”

And as if on cue the bell rang to tell them they could get back in the pool, Michael jumped without hesitation making Calum scramble to swim faster than him. They reached the middle of the pool at the same time and stood in the not-too-deep water. Calum looking only slightly up at Michael.

“I have alien ships surrounding earth.” Michael narrowed his eyes at him.

“No you don’t.”

“Yes I do! They’re here and they’re awesome.”

“Prove it!”

But whatever Michael had planned it was cut short by the appearance of a firefly by the pool. He quickly pointed to it, “there! That! See? I told you!”

“How did you do that?”

Michael shrugged, “I’m a powerful intergalactic commander. I can call up some of my alien friends.”

“Too bad they won’t help you win the war,” Calum said and pushed Michael under the water in what he could only describe as a savage power move. Neither of them knew how to actually win Space Invaders. It was honestly just until one gave up, so Calum just had to outlast Michael.

Michael apparently couldn’t just take that, because Calum felt Michael’s hands wrap around his waist and pull him under the water. They shoved at each other under the water in an unspoken agreement to not go to the surface unless they were forfeiting.

Calum wasn’t even sure what was happening half the time, they were just flailing limbs at each other. Until at one point he kicked and noticed Michael wasn’t there anymore. And all at once, Calum remembered Michael’s bronchitis.

He found Michael on the surface leaning at the edge of the pool coughing out a lung. His mom was perched beside him giving him some water and saying something Calum couldn’t quite hear. Michael nodded in understanding.

Calum’s heart was racing when he reached the edge. “I forgot about your bronchitis... I’m sorry, Mikey. Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I just—. I need oxygen to live you know?” Michael coughed out a slight laugh.

Calum even smiled. “I won’t count that round.”

“No, you won fair and square.”

“Mike, I can’t just take the win like that. You were hurt.”

“I wasn’t hurt,” Michael rolled his eyes, “I thought I could hold my breath longer than I actually could. In any game that’s a valid reason not to win.”

Calum still didn’t feel right about it. “You wanna give up rights to splash me with no splash backs?”

“Don’t worry. I’m giving it to you, man,” Michael give him a pat on the back. “We both know if I had functioning lungs you would never have stood a chance.”

Calum could accept it because of that though.

They took it easy from then on, just swimming around the edge of the pool. Looking at the show of fireflies as they filled the dark off in the distance. It was just so magical to see.

Calum found himself watching both the fireflies, and Michael’s reaction to them. His face was lit up and he had that wondrous smile that Calum had long since found contagious. Now he at least understood why...

He looked back out to the horizon.

“Life is so much better with you, Cal,” Michael spoke unexpectedly.

Calum turned to him, brows furrowed but in interest, “what do you mean.”

“I’m not saying the fireflies wouldn’t be here if you weren’t here, but I probably wouldn’t be at the pool to see them,” Michael said. “This has been the best summer I’ve ever had.”

Calum smiled. “Me too.”

“I know.”

The drive back to Michael’s was quiet. Both of them were exhausted and cold, but warming now that they were in dry clothes again. Calum looked at the moon and the soft flicker of fireflies in the distance, and listened to Michael’s gentle breathing as he napped.

Calum was relieved to find out that Michael wanted to go to sleep early. And when they had both showered the chlorine from their hair and body, they curled up on Michael’s bed. Calum could feel the waves of the pool still like he was floating on the water.

It was so real, like in closing his eyes he could imagine he was just floating in a warm bath.

He felt the bed shift a little and then felt Michael’s breath on his upper arm. “Cal?” Michael asked in an almost small voice.

Calum hummed in response.

“Can I ask you something and it not be weird?”

Calum opened his eyes at that. “Okay?”

“Can you—?” He stopped, “can you like... hold me while I go to sleep. It saves blanket space...”

Calum’s heart jolted at that. “Uh, y-yeah,” He cleared his throat.

“That’s not weird for you?” Michael asked. He could almost hear the blush rushing to Michael’s face.

“I don’t see why it would be,” Calum assured him softly, even though his own heart was racing. “I almost killed you in the pool, the least I can do is comfort you.”

Michael in response, scoot himself closer to Calum and wrapped himself in Calum’s arms resting a head on his chest. “Your heartbeat is heavy,” Michael whispered softly.

“High blood pressure.” It wasn’t a lie, it just wasn’t the reason for his intense heartbeat this time. “It’s hereditary...”

Michael hummed in understanding. Whether or not he believed it he wasn’t giving away.

“I—. Uh... I liked your GIR shorts, by the way,” Calum said softly, and Michael giggled.

“You told me that already.”

“I know. Just wanted to give you a real compliment.”

Michael nodded. “Thank you,” Calum could hear the grateful smile.

He let himself breathe in the smell of Michael’s soap and was contented and elated and scared and everything all at once. He barely breathed, barely moved. He wanted to make Michael as comfortable as possible.

Somehow he felt like the whole summer had been leading up to this moment. The realization that he had new feelings for Michael, and then this. It seemed perfect, it seemed right. He never wanted the smell of Irish Spring to leave him. Or the warmth of Michael’s body. Or the sound of Michael’s breathing.

He held him gingerly, grazing soft innocent hands along Michael’s back. There was nothing else Calum would rather do than fall asleep with Michael in his arms for the rest of summer.

“Night, Cal,” Michael hummed contentedly. “Sweet dreams.”

“Night, Mikey.”

[slytherinknowitall]

Potion Fumes and Cauldron Leaks

Chapter 12: A Friend For The Lonely Beast At Last

(Click here for chapter 11!)

(Click here to start from the beginning!)

Disclaimer: I don’t own the “Harry Potter” book series. The story of “Harry Potter” is the property of J. K. Rowling, it is not my intellectual property. There is no financial gain made from this nor will any be sought. This is for entertainment purposes only.

The following days went by way too fast, and the weekend was over before Severus knew it.

He had spent the two chilly autumn days locked away in his quarters, not leaving the cold confines of the dungeons even once. While he would normally spend his free days hunting for rare potion ingredients and interesting literature or working on improving his already impeccable brewing technique, he had passed the past 48 hours buried beneath countless pillows and thick blankets in his large four-poster bed. The only contact to the outside world had been provided by the school’s ever-diligent house elves, who had both kept the Potions Master’s rooms clean and delivered warm meals three times a day – not that the man had touched much of the food.

On Monday morning, Severus woke up with a throbbing headache. A quick look at his watch told him that breakfast was probably already in full swing, but he didn’t feel like eating. Most of all, however, he didn’t feel like facing a certain brunette before he absolutely had to. So instead, he got up and moved to the bathroom with sagging shoulders.

As he was standing in the shower a few minutes later, letting the icy cold water pour over his lithe body, he tried hard to ignore the intrusive thoughts that had been plaguing him all throughout the past days. They all had something to do with some newly discovered and rather confusing feelings for a little know-it-all, of course.

While he had dismissed his earlier impure thoughts about Granger as the simple result of prolonged abstinence, these confounding emotions were of a whole new calibre. Physical attraction was one thing; he could deal with that. But fancying one of his own students – let alone maybe falling in love with them – was simply too much. It made him feel almost physically ill.

Severus had never been one to handle his own feelings well, and his relative inexperience when it came to the opposite sex – especially in the romantic sense – only added to his confusion and uncertainty. The only woman he had ever been interested in, the only one he had ever loved, was Lily. And he had always thought that she was the love of his life. Even almost two decades after her violent death, her mental image was still looming over his scarred heart. The redhead had been the one thing that had kept him going throughout the war; she had been the only reason he had tried so desperately to keep that stupid Potter boy alive – and the only reason he had continued to live.

But now, he was slowly but surely starting to question all that. Whatever it was that he was beginning to feel towards Granger was so different and so much more intense than anything he had ever experienced before. Somehow, it even felt more powerful than his love for Lily had ever been to begin with. And over the weekend, the wizard had come to the shocking conclusion that the only reason he had ever been that obsessed with his childhood sweetheart was because she had been one of the few people to ever show a genuine interest in him as a person. Whether Severus liked it or not, he had always been someone who craved the attention and acceptance of others. That had been the main reason he had joined the ranks of the Dark Lord in the first place. Lily had been his friend, she had treated him with respect; and teenage-him had mistaken that for love. Looking back, he realised that it had never been her that he’d been craving; it had been her kindness towards him. The fact that his personal archenemy had also quickly started to show an interest in her had only made Snape more determined to make her his, of course.

His feelings towards Granger were of a different nature. She had never been his friend; in fact, Severus was pretty much sure that she hated him just as much as the rest of the student body – even if she never really showed it. So it wasn’t her continued affection he desired. No, he wanted her. He wanted to run his calloused fingers through her voluminous curls, he wanted to listen to her babble on for hours about some random boring topic, he wanted to hold her and sleep next to her like they had done in his office. For the first time in his life, he wasn’t striving to possess a woman but rather to give himself to her – and it was driving him absolutely insane. Even forgetting the fact that she was his pupil and personal apprentice, those feelings still managed to make him feel vulnerable and weak.

The half-blood sighed before stepping out of the shower and drying himself off with a towel. He took his time with the rest of his morning routine, but it didn’t take long before he found himself in the Potions classroom, surrounded by an annoying, hyperactive flock of second-years. And unfortunately, it seemed to only take a blink of an eye before those young students were then soon replaced by the seventh-years – with Hermione Granger being on time for the first time in weeks.

Severus noticed her presence instantly. She looked the same as always – her brown mane was pulled back into a classic Dutch braid, and her spick and span uniform was topped off with her polished Head Girl badge – yet somehow, the sight of her gave him an armada of butterflies in his stomach. She must have noticed his intense gaze, too; as she gave him a quick but radiant smile before hurrying to her usual seat in the front row. He would have lied if he had said that that small gesture didn’t make his dark heart jump a little.

Staggered by his inner turmoil, the professor frowned as he waited for the class to settle down. As soon as the last chitchat faded away, he briskly made his way towards the front of the classroom. Lightly tapping his wand against the black board, a dozen or so rows of brewing instructions appeared.

“Today –“

He let out a small cough, trying to get rid of that sudden lump in his throat.

“Today, you will be brewing Doxycide. Now, as you all surely are aware, this specific potion has the purpose of temporarily stunning Doxies. These fairy-like creatures are common household pests, so this remedy will likely prove useful to each and every one of you at some point. As anyone with even just a handful of braincells would know, these beasts are –“

The Gryffindor’s eyes were following his every move, and he was uncomfortably aware of that. They seemed to burn through his skin right into his soul.

“Um … bad.”

The little slip-up had an instant impact. There was immediate commotion, with loud chatter practically bouncing between the heads of shocked teenagers, and Severus’ eyes grew big as he unsuccessfully tried to mask his own surprise – never in his entire career as a teacher had he ever tripped over his own tongue like this before!

Not having the slightest clue how to handle this most unprecedented situation, he simply muttered a quick “The required ingredients can be found in the supply cupboard. You may get started.” before disappearing into his office, his long black robes whirling up around him as he did so.

*************** *************** ***************

Snape waited an extra ten minutes following the chime of the old Clock Tower before finally emerging from his hiding place, making certain to give the students enough time to finish up their potions, clean their workspaces and leave.

As he re-entered the dark teaching lab, he scrunched up his large nose at the foul smell of Doxycide; while he’d become inured to most unpleasant smells over the years, he for some reason still could barely stand the solution’s disgusting stench. Nonetheless, he marched to his desk and was just about to sit down and organise the countless parchment rolls spread across the table when a soft voice suddenly caressed his ears.

“Professor Snape?”

Startled, he spun around. Standing on the doorstep, there was Granger. Her heavy book bag swinging from her delicate shoulders, she was holding another three or four books in her arms. Over the course of the lesson, some of her locks had become undone and were now framing her freckled face nicely.

“Oh, I’m sorry, sir! I didn’t mean to take you by surprise!” Biting her bottom lip, she gave him a quick grin.

“Miss Granger, I …” Severus was at a loss for words. Trying hard to ignore his beating heart, he was frantically searching for something, anything to say. Never before had he struggled for words like this in front of a student.

When he didn’t continue, Granger stepped into the room and said, “Oh, well, I apologise for ambushing you like this, but after what happened last Friday, I really feel like we should talk.”

“Fuck!” Severus thought panicked. “Now she will accuse me of being a bloody pervert! What kind of teacher falls asleep hugging a student, anyways?! You really should have known better, Severus! She has probably already reported you to that duffer of a headmaster and demanded to switch apprenticeships! Hell, the whole school likely already knows about that little slumber party, what were you –“

“Thank you.”

Snape was completely taken aback. “Wh-what?”

Her rosy cheeks became even redder. “I would like to thank you, sir. What you did for me was more than kind. The way you defended and comforted me … I cannot express my appreciation enough.” She flashed him another shy smile. “Oh, and also thank you for sending that house elf up to my rooms with my belongings after I ran off. That was very thoughtful of you.”

Severus could only stare at her, his mouth slightly agape. “So … you are not going to switch to another professor?” he asked meekly, the disbelief in his voice clearly audible.

Granger laughed nervously. “No, of course not,” she answered as she fiddled with the cuticle of her right middle finger. Furling her eyebrows, her gaze then wandered to the floor. “If anything, I’m here to apologise for my behaviour over the past couple of weeks. I just … overreacted, I guess.”

There was an awkward silence for a few seconds, during which the flustered wizard did not allow himself to breathe. Could it really be that she was grateful for his actions? Perhaps she didn’t dislike him after all? While he would never – could never – permit himself to give into his irrational emotions, Severus let himself believe for just a split second that maybe, just maybe, the two of them could become something like friends instead.

Don’t be stupid! She may not hate you, but she still thinks of you as nothing more than an old, crusty codger.

Or did she? Helplessly overwhelmed by his inner conflict, he simply had to know the witch’s true feelings. Meeting her hazel eyes with his, Severus silently and effortlessly delved into Granger’s smart mind. As soon as he entered, he was amazed – he had never encountered such an extraordinary brain before. He didn’t have time to marvel at it, however, as he was in a hurry to search for any thoughts concerning his person before the Muggle-born would notice his presence inside her head.

Once he found them, however, he was stunned – there was not the least bit of hatred or disgust. Instead, Severus was rushing through a vortex of muddled memories.

First, he found himself in his own classroom more than six years ago, watching a slightly younger version of himself hold his typical introductory speech in front of a bunch of bright-faced 11-year-old Slytherins and Gryffindors. Looking around, he soon spotted a familiar bushy-haired, buck-toothed girl. Concentrating on her, he was able to feel the astonishment and admiration radiating from her.

The next memory seemed to be a couple of years younger, located yet again in the dungeon classroom. He saw himself aiding to a hurt Neville Longbottom lying on the ground after what seemed to have been another botched brewing attempt. Standing amongst the crowd of students gathered around the scene, a fourth-year Hermione Granger was looking at the two of them with both worry and fondness in her eyes. To Severus’ surprise, the latter seemed to be directed at both of them equally. He didn’t have a lot of time to process this, however, as the image promptly vanished before his own eyes.

The last distinct memory was only a few months old, taking place in a little suburban town somewhere in Muggle England. A casually dressed Granger was sitting on a small twin bed situated in what he suspected to be her bedroom. He raised an eyebrow at the various shades of green that the room was arranged in before stepping closer to the young woman. She was presently bend over a piece of parchment paper, and upon closer inspection, he realised that it was a letter from Hogwarts – an application for the apprenticeship programme, to be more exact. He watched as she used a small beige-coloured quill to fill in Professor Severus Snape next to the words Desired Tutor. Looking at her bare, makeup-free face, his breath was taken away when he saw her grin broadly, seemingly filled with excitement. Astonished, Severus slipped back into reality.

“Is everything okay, sir?” Granger asked with obvious concern in her voice, blissfully unaware that her privacy had just been invaded.

Snape gulped. “Yes, Miss Granger. Everything is quite all right.”

And when the girl smiled at him this time, he couldn’t help but smirk back at her. Perhaps they could become friends, after all.

(Click here for chapter 13!)

[king-smaurent]

Hi I’ve been thinking about this ask Maya @laurent-ofvere recieved for DAYS and anyway here’s this thing I wrong on my phone in like an hour at 11 at night.

“You know I thought you looked exceptionally well atop your horse today, your highness.”

Laurent ignores Lazar’s words in favor of closing his eyes and focusing on the slow sinking of his body on to Lazar’s cock, and the pleasurable stretch as he is fully seated. Laurent takes a moment of respite to enjoy the slight burn and the tingling in his legs. It’s been a long day, and even longer still since he’d managed to steal lazar away and apply his body to one of its few useful functions: allowing Laurent to relieve this inconvenient frustration brought upon him by the presence of the akielon slave.

This...habit of theirs started a month or so before, near the beginning of the campaign to the border. Govart had just been cast out, and the akielon slave’s honorable air that much more insufferable and attractive and unbearable.

Laurent had had many admirers throughout his years;He was a prime option for any high reaching noble man, for any ambitious Pet, but he’d never held any interest in them. Sexually, most were unappealing and further he learned from an early age there was no one to trust in his uncles court. It had never crossed his mind to seek out a sexual partner and he’d never felt a desire that he couldn’t solve on his own. That is, until the campaign set out and, without the immediate distraction of playing against his uncle, Laurent’s mind could focus more exclusively on the burden at hand: his immense, inconvenient desire for the akielon slave.

Willing it away was unsuccessful, ignoring it was impossible, and his own touch had proved unsatisfactory.

It wasn’t until one evening when he’d heard a rather typical obscenity from Lazar’s mouth that curiously instantly struck. Lazar was recently deemed trustworthy enough; from what Laurent could gatherhe had no particular loyalty to his uncle (only to money) and he was one of the few mercenaries putting his weight in(Infuriatingly, a fact pointed out by the slave).

So, naturally, Laurent cornered him and through a short back and forth (“You’re interested in fucking me?” “Every man is interested in fucking you, but I’d be the best at it.” “Excellent.”) And a threat to maintain secrecy, it became a relatively frequent occurrence for Laurent to be bending in Lazar’s presence.

It did wonders, surprisingly, to relieve Laurent of the pent up feelings about the Akielon. Even now as his pace picked up, his rise and fall on Lazar’s cock becoming quicker and more steady he could picture the ire of his frustration: The slave, picking up a broad sword and throwing it like it were a dart, the feeling of his back as Laurent was pressed flush against it when they rode pillion. The way his muscles shifted— It was good, Laurent was feeling the slow build of release except—

“It was quite a site to see you and Damen pressed so close on one horse.”

Laurent’s braced a firm hand on Lazar’s chest, both as a warning and as support to fuck himself harder. If he could just keep moving, keep the physical feeling up he could—

“It made me wonder what it would be like to be in that space between you,”

Laurent felt he irritation rising in tandem with his arousal waning. No,he just needed—

“Are you sure you aren’t interested in bringing him in to this? Oh, wait, it was the interest that brought this all about—you know I’m sure he’d be amiable I could—“

“Would you Shut. Up.” Laurent snapped, his movement coming to an abrupt stop, and his eyes opening to fix their best glare down at Lazar’s smug, grinning face.

“Tsk. I’m just making conversation, your highness. I can’t help like feeling sometimes like I’m just some cock to you—like you’d prefer me as one of those vaskian cock toys you can fix to a—“

Laurent moved quickly, grabbing a nearby pillow and pressing it firmly and without mercy over Lazar’s face to cut him off. Laurent’s body was on fire and he didn’t have time for this, lest he go completely unsatisfied for the night. “I just need…” his sentence trailed and his licked his lips, his body starting a slow rock to rekindle the sensation. Lazar’s hands came up to grip Laurent’s hips, almost painfully, and Laurent, oversensitive, let out an involuntary quiet groan. Frustratingly, he knew lazar still had that smug look under the pillow.

He couldn’t very well suffocate Lazar—it would be too hard to explain—so, once the grip on his hips became bruising, Laurent removed the pillow and tossed it to the side. He stared down at lazar, hard breathing and still grinning.

Laurent closed his eyes again and returned to the task at hand. The pull and drag of Lazar’s cock with each rise and fall. It was so good, and Laurent’s lips parted in pleasure. He was close. Except, still-

Before he could even comprehend it, lazar flipped them with an experts strength. Laurent was too bewildered, his eyes shot open, to focus on what a turn on that may be. “Wha—“ he was on his back, legs partially in the air with lazar between them and still inside.

“You seem to be struggling, your Highness,” mocking, as it always was the honorific behind closed doors and tent flaps. Lazar pressed his body forward against the back of Laurent’s thighs, bringing his legs closer to his body, compact. Lazar’s cock pressed in further. Laurent groaned low again.

Lazar’s hips began then to move, without the same slow ease Laurent had applied when he had been on top and were very quickly at a hard, steady pace. “I can imagine,” lazar continues speaking, breathlessly “that Damen would want the power over you anyway, except maybe on your knees instead.” Cheeky. But the image was enough for Laurent. He pictured it: the slave maneuvering Laurent how he wanted with his insufferable strength. Laurent on his hands and knees with large, strong hands gripping his hips and the akielon’s cock fucking long and hard in to him.

“Ah—” Laurent grips the bedding above his head, overwhelmed. Lazar hooks his arms under Laurent’s knees and pushes forward, causing Laurent’s hips to raise up and his knees to be by his head, his whole body folded in a way that allows Lazar,now on his knees, to fuck him harder, deeper.

It’s a relatively short amount time then before Laurent is coming on to his own chest, untouched. Lazar follows soon after and gently rests Laurent’s hips and back- side back down on to the bed before disconnecting their bodies. Laurent winces only briefly from the sting of separation; he is still breathing hard and coming back to from his orgasm.

After, he looks over at Lazar who is grinning obnoxiously at him. He opens his mouth to speak, but Laurent cuts him off,

“No. That’s enough. Without your cock in me I have even less patience for your words. You’re dismissed.”

“Of course, Your Highness.”

[requiemesque]

【ｃｈａｒａｃｔｅｒ　ｃｒｅａｔｉｏｎ　ｔａｇ 】

【ｔａｇｇｅｄ　ｂｙ】 @katerinarevel​

【ｃｈａｒａｃｔｅｒ】 chi

1. what was the first element of your character that you remember considering?

oofh. hair color. would you believe if i told you it was originally purple? y i k e s

2. did you design them with any other characters from their universe in mind?

nope! chi was the first. in fact, at the time that i created her, the world of lacuna as it stands now doesn’t exist.

3. how did you chose their name?

can….can i not admit to this? i was fourteen when i designed the first iteration of chi, and i just…let’s just leave it at me looking up words in foreign languages, and i chose one that meant “delicate” for a sweet sense of irony. i rarely refer to her by her full name now, and generally go with “chi”, which turned out to be great because “chi” is a type of energy found in all living things.

4. in developing their backstory, what elements of their world played the most influential part? 

chi’s family by and large had the most impact on her backstory, but if we’re looking into actual pieces of lacua’s lore that influenced her (whether she knows it or not), then it would be the god of true death, and rising racial tensions on her continent.

5 / 6 / 7. is there any significance behind their hair color/eye color/height?

yes/yes/no

chi was born with dark hair and blue eyes, but after her first death, her hair begins to turn gold (dark and tarnished in book one, gradually lightening to almost white by the end of book four). immortal creatures in lacuna, such as elves or phoenixes, tend to have lighter colored hair, though not always blonde, as a pigmentation side effect of aether exposure. their blood, likewise, is often gold. the longer they’ve lived, the more apparent the color. in some rare cases, like chi, a full and sudden pigment shift may be the result of trauma.

now her eyes? oh, her eyes are my favorite. she was born with blue eyes, but after her death, her eyes are a much darker shade of blue, with veins of gold that burn bright and bleed into the full iris when her emotions or the wulf’s instincts are heightened. her wulf’s shape eyes are gold through and through. as with immortality, gold tends to be a sign of powerful magic as a result of aether exposure, and for chi, it also has a strong link to her emotions and the animalistic side of her. the color fluxes over time with the books, and is quite interesting to watch.

8. what do you relate to within their character/story?

mmfh. the hard parts, of course. dealing with instincts that are yours but at the same time aren’t, reconciling ctpsd…but also the good things, like mael, and a need to feel human.

9. are they based of you in any way?

oh, yeah. fuck yeah. i realized a few years back that chi’s wulf was a metaphor for my depression and anxiety. chi had always been the emotions i couldn’t express, the anger, the viciousness, the meanness and refusal to give a fuck because i had always given too many, but the wulf? instincts that were hers but not. a voice in her head that dealt in black and white extremes, predator or prey, a creature that is separate and same.

10. did you know what your character’s sexuality would be at the time of their creation?

effectively, yeah. she’s not my trouble child, unlike a certain shitty edgelord son.

11. what have you found is the most difficult art form in creating your character?

actual art. i can’t draw. like at all. not people anyway.

12. how far past canon events that take place in their world have you extended their story?

what even is canon? my wip alexithymia is an entire modern dark academia au devoted to chi and mael. if we’re talking what canon events past those that take place in the novel, i’ve gone all the way out to her adopting a child and having one of her own (with whom? guess you’ll have to find out)

13. if you had to narrow it down to 2 things you must keep in mind while working with this oc, what would they be?

➳ there is something still human in her. she may not believe it, nor may she behave like it, but there is still humanity in her, and that influences little nuances of her behavior. ➳ she has been through insurmountable trauma, both before she became a wulf and certainly after. i used to write her as such a dead end, stoic, numb character, and numbness is certainly a part of her behavioral profile, but trauma presents in more ways that numbness or even just flashbacks. i rewriting her story, i’ve had to reexamine my own traumas and keep exactly what that means as far as behavioral shifts, even small ones like the details she does (or doesn’t) notice.

14. what is something about your oc that makes you laugh?

she can’t get drunk. like wolverine and captain america, her regeneration factor is so high that the best she can get is a light buzz before the alcohol is out of her system. it leads to some shitty moments (trying to get drunk in the aftermath of a war or a bad wound), but there was also a hilarious moment in her original history where she used to be able to get drunk, and man she was a lightweight. she fell on the ground, whined about being out-drunk, and tried to pull open a push door; she didn’t even have to be locked in to stay safe. i still laugh to this day.

15. what is something about your oc that makes you cry?

the loss she experiences at the end of book 2 and her regression through book 3 (spoilers ;3 can’t tell you much more)

16. is there some element you regret adding to your oc or their story?

aye, is this make requii remember all her regrets day? the blatant cultural appropriation in her past that i did my best to wipe out, the massive amounts of emo edgelord bullshit that i put her through when i was younger….we all make mistakes, y’all. i’m at least trying my best to smooth it out and make reparations. her story has gone through so many iterations; the one regret i can’t fix because of its necessity to the story is the way her second book ends. i can’t fix that hurt.

17. what is the most recent thing that you’ve discovered about your oc?

the revelation of what the wulf was, although that’s more about what she means to me than anything new about her.

18. favorite oc fact?

mael taught her how to play piano. she learned by watching and listening; can’t read music, but if she can find an instrument, she plays to soothe her nerves. when no instrument is available (frequent), she mimics keystrokes by tapping her fingers on her thighs. this was the first piece she learned to play.

【ｔａｇｇｉｎｇ】 @kavqnsky​ @thewinedarksea​ @girlnovels​ @lookslikechill​ @monstrouswrites​ @omgbrekkerkaz​ @thecadmiuminkwell​ & anyone else looking to join in! if you’ve already been tagged, either ignore me or post another character so you can haunt my dash.