#but it could also be typical behavior for a kid who just saw their sibling piss themself lololol there's not a lot to go on 😆😆😆

[stabbystiletto]

I know it's a shitty wip lol 😅 but I just saw the trailer for season 2 and had to literally drop what i was doing to grab my tablet and start a new fanart lololol 🤣🤣🤣🤣

This one⬇️⬇️⬇️ is older lol but holy shit I just got the motivation to work on it again 😆😆😆

Also it's nowhere near done lol but I'm posting this anyway cause I like I said I just saw the trailer for season 2 and HOLY SHIT I was like "okay, okay, this is good, I dig it, murders in a religious school, very nice, angry Nica, I dig it" but then.

The pink car, I'm like okay Tiffany got herself a cute car, nice but then I read the license plate

YOU SEE THIS SHIT I WAS LIKE CAN IT BE AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN

GLEN AND GLENDA THEY REALLY DID IT THEY BROUGHT THEM BACK THEY BROUGHT THE TWINS BACK I WAS A LITTLE NERVOUS THAT THEY WOULD BRING THEM BACK AS JUST ONE PERSON BUT THEY KEPT THE TWINS AND THEY'RE NON BINARY BOTH THE TWINS ARE NONBINARY I CAN'T EVEN PROCESS THIS PROPERLY LOLOLOLOLOL 😆😆😆🥰🥰🥰🥰😍😍😍😍😆😆😆😆😃😃😃😃🤯🤯🤯🤯🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

(yeeeeea, the tags are long as hell sorry lololol but i had a lot of feelings about this lolololol 😅😅😅😅😅 who knew tumblr had a limit on the number of tags lololol learn something new everyday lolololol 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣)

[themediummultiverseau]

Will papyrus ever be included in the storyline, maybe sans opening up to him about it, or he gets suspicious about sans's behavior and corners him or something?

Aaaand are there any prominent side characters that we'll see?

Papyrus notices that his brother has been leaving the house more, and at first, hes overjoyed! Sans was finally leaving the house! But, he realised after a while, that he always dodged the question as to where he was going. (Sans, being the secretive little fuck that he is, refuses to tell anyone about the ghosts.) Worried, Papyrus follows him one day, only to find him walking al the way to the park. And then he just stops, and starts talking to air.

Papyrus is CONCERNED (tm,) and goes back home to wait for Sans to come home. It takes him HOURS to come back, (he visits everyone he can,) and, when confronted, he once again try to avoid the questions.

Papyrus says he followed him, saw him talking to air, and was considering getting him professional help, his depression had been bad before, and if he was starting to see things now as well...

Sans is forced to tell the truth.

And he does. For the next few hours they sit and talk about the ghosts. Papyrus want to believe him, really, he does! But he cant help but still be worried, so says takes his phone out and googles "Nightmare - Prince" and shows him the results. He then goes through the lot of them, showing death reports, news articles, anything that appears really, and Papyrus finally believes him.

From then on, he insists Sans takes something for them every time he visits, and often makes them food to give (more often that not, its spaghetti,) and asks how they're doing. Sometimes, they go and Sans acts as a medium, for them, so Papyrus and the ghosts can talk directly.

Killer and Dream especially take a liking to him, while Dust is pretty scared of him (he looks way to much like his won brother its actually scary,) and always ask how he is when Sans comes without him.

Side characters.. It depends what you mean by that.

Every Sans you could ever want can exist here, they just might not haunt the town,

(i got lazy when drawing here, so its just a messy sketch but yk)

(Red - shot, epic - shrapnel, Fresh - car crash, Outer - fell)

Alternatively, most of the ghosts had family members, most of them had a Papyrus look alike, (Papyrus isn't reincarnated here, but every Sans deserves a Papyrus, even fate believes it so)

(Nim (Dream and Nightmares mother, Queen), Phantom (Dusts brother,) Horror had lots of siblings, ect...)

Buuut, while many of the original Undertale cast have been spread out throughout the years, Toriel, Chara and Frisk are all based in the present time.

Toriel, after the death of her son, adopts two kids, twins, who were considered "difficult" children, (really there were disabled, but why would they care about that, - Chara has some mental issues, and Frist is mute and has sight problems.) They're lovely kids , and they visit quite regularly, typically with their mother. Sans was named their Godfather (Papyrus was considered, but he told them Sans was a better choice, ) because Toriel knew he'd love them.

Sans and Toriel met at a comedy gig, both preforming on the same day, and became friends instantly over their shared love of stupid puns. (They're not together, this universe has no canonical relationships, everyting's platonic here, but ships are totally allowed and welcome if you wanted lol.)

Holy moly, that was a lot of work lmao, would you believe it, i dont think ive ever actually drawn Papyrus before? I have no idea why, just havent, ill have to do more so in the future cus hes fun.

Ive also never tried to draw anyone from the angle Sans is at in the first drawing, think it looks fine as long as you ignore the feet lol.

No, i didnt get lazy drawing the ghost in the first, it was a stylistic choice! /j /sarcasm, also, Hi, im Whisp, i hate backgrounds!)

Please excuse me attempt at drawing a wimple for Nim and the tricorned hat for Phantom, they're very difficult!

All of Horrors siblings there don't have names, they were just designed on the spot really, so if anyone has and names for them, ill take them on board!

But hope it all looks okay, this is all full of firsts lol. Have a lovely day everyone! :)

[she-karev]

Reconcile

Chapter: Two of Two

Age Rating: 12+

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy

AN: Hey guys so this chapter also has a little bit of angst and psychopath kids, so you’ve been warned before reading.

Summary: Alex and Amber continue to work together and finally talk things out.

Words: 2857

I sit in the Chief’s office next to Alex as we explain to the parents our concerns over Missy after running it by Bailey. She was disbelieving at first but after we told her what Missy was like when we talked to her including her fascination with Gia’s death and my attack. After convincing her we opted to talk to the parents in private while a security guard kept a close eye on Missy at the waiting room. She wanted us to talk to the parents before calling the police. Now the mom is sitting wiping her tears with a tissue and the dad is as cold as ever.

I stayed silent as Alex started to explain the situation to the parents, “I would never want to do anything to make this worse or more complicated but Missy…she’s showing some signs that is raising our concerns. Risk taking, fascination with death, and taboo behavior that are typically associated with juvenile sociopathy.”

I clear my throat and decide he shouldn’t be the one to tell them the worst. I started this and I should be the one to bear the weight, “We um had a conversation with her and the way she acts and the way she talks…we think Missy was involved in Gia’s stabbing.” The mom is taken back and the dad doesn’t move at all like he knew it was a possibility. My heart breaks for them both, their child is on life support possibly because of their other child I would be numb too.

“That…that’s crazy.” Sylvia laughs it off and turns to Matt, “Tell her she’s wrong.” Matt just sits there numb and staring blankly at the wall destroyed. Sylvia tries again, “Matt?” Sylvia gasps, “Say something damn it!”

Matt finally turns to her and asks in a broken voice, “Sylvia, how can you be this blind? She was there just like she was there when the dog went missing and she was there when we found rat pellets in the thanksgiving turkey.” I look away as my emotions start to get the better of me and take a deep breath to calm down as the couple argue. Alex notices and holds my hand and I hold it back because this all of this…is just like the night my brother attacked me. The parents don’t notice us though thankfully.

“No your-your just upset.” Sylvia says in tears.

“Missy may have killed our child.”

“Missy is our child.” Sylvia says with a hiss.

I can’t be in here any longer and I get up from my chair, let go of Alex’s hand and walk out of the door calmly. It’s midnight so the hallway is pretty much empty. I try to make it to the bathroom but my stomach doesn’t let me and in a panic I open the red biohazard trash can and vomit my lunch inside. I don’t even realize someone is rubbing my back in comfort until I finally dry heave and wipe my mouth. I look and see that it was Glasses who rubbed my back and the idea that he saw me throw up makes me want to hurl again. But since I got my lunch and breakfast out of me I opt to pull away from him and go to the locker room to brush my teeth. He follows me.

“Are you okay?” Levi asks.

I hold my head up high so I don’t show weakness, “I’m fine tell anyone what you saw and I will perform a rectal exam on you without a lubricant.” He looks at me scared and backs off when we enter the lockers.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After I brushed my teeth I headed back to the Chief’s office and ran into Alex on the way. He looked wrecked and honestly who could blame him after what just happened.

“I-I’m sorry I didn’t stay it’s just I was-”

Alex shakes his head, “Don’t worry about it I get it this…this is triggering. A sibling tried to kill another sibling how can it not be?”

I groan at the comparison, “Yeah well, the only difference is Aaron was hallucinating and Missy was just having fun if she can feel that. It makes me sick.”

Alex rubs the back of his neck, “Yeah me too…are you okay?”

I sigh and rub my forehead as I feel a splitting headache, “I feel like taking a whole bottle of ibuprofen just to get away from this headspace.” Alex raises an eyebrow at my suicidal comment, “Don’t report me I’m being dramatic. How are the parents?”

“Mom stormed off and dad went back to Gia’s room, he’s trying to hold it in but this is wrecking him.” Alex rubs his tired eyes.

“And Missy? What are we gonna do about her? Have you called the cops?”

Alex looks back at me, “Yeah, we did but without a clear confession they can’t make an arrest. They suggested a wire and I offered to talk to her again and get her to say she stabbed Gia.”

“I’ll do it.” I suggest this crazy thing because I want to see this girl pay for what she did to her sister but Alex immediately shakes his head.

“No that is not a good idea. She’s dangerous and she already killed someone, I’m not letting you take that risk.”

“Alex I would be talking to her in the middle of the hospital full of security guards, doctor and nurses.” Those facts make me comfortable to do this, “And it’s not like she’s carrying and I took boxing for two years I can handle myself. The cops need a confession and I’m most likely to get it. I’m a girl, I’m around her age and she’s comfortable around me due to me satiating her psychopath side with the story of how I was attacked.” Alex sighs and still looks uncertain, “She could do this again and she might not come to the hospital next time where doctors will question her. I want to do this and I don’t need your permission.”

Alex looks at me worriedly and finally complies, “Fine but be careful.” I nod and we head back to the Chief’s office.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After the cops gave me instructions and placed the wire under my scrub along my diaphragm, I head out to find Missy. I walk around the hospital for a few minutes until I find her in the family waiting room sitting there on the table looking at her phone. I inhale and exhale because the sight of her knowing what she did makes me anxious but I told Alex I could do this and I will. I approach her and sit in front of her.

“Hey Missy.” I keep my tone calm and even as per my instructions and she looks at me surprised to see me, “I’m Dr. Karev I don’t know if you-”

“Right you’re the girl who got strangled and attacked I remember you.” She says it coldly and I continue.

“Yeah well I wanted to come by and talk to you and see how you were doing after Gia. I know when one of my brothers got hurt I would always worry about them.”

Missy shakes her head nonchalantly, “Gia was just a little baby she was always crying and begging me to play with her. She would always barge into my room and annoy me.” The way she chastises her sister is the first emotion she displayed and it’s anger.

“Yeah I had a little cousin who did that.” I lie to relate to Missy like the cops suggested and groan to play along, “It would drive me crazy.”

Missy nods, “I’m not gonna miss that.” That one sentence sends chills down my spine but I persist as I’m getting somewhere and decide to kick into high gear.

Remember when we were talking about the man who attacked me? and you said he probably did it to feel more powerful? Well it turns out you were wrong.” Missy looks at me offended, “The guy was my brother and he didn’t want to hurt me, he loved me, he took care of me and…he was just crazy and he lashed out. I don’t think he was thinking about what was gonna happen after to him or me but I don’t think he really wanted to kill me just for the fun of it.” Missy looks at me like I’m the one who’s crazy.

“Well maybe he did I mean you don’t know what he was thinking.”

I shrug, “I mean come on Missy why else would you kill someone?” I ask as genuine as I can to draw her in.

“To know if you could really do it.”

I shake my head at her terrifying comment, “No I don’t think so, I mean to actually feel the life slip away from someone else it’s…it’s way too scary for most sane people and for my brother it was-”

“No I know what he was feeling I mean I know exactly how he was feeling.” Missy says with a grin that is chilling before leaning in and whispering to me, “I was the one who stabbed Gia.” I look at her with a blank face even though my terror escalates as my fears come true, “And it wasn’t that scary. I knew what I wanted to do and I did it just like with your brother he must have felt like it was the coolest thing ever when he was trying to kill you.”

I shake my head in disgust and stand up and walk out the door as I see the cops entering and arresting Missy. I pass Alex on the way who looks at me in worry and I shake my head at him before saying bitterly, “Dysfunctional families am I right?” With that I walk to the lockers to take a hot scolding shower and leave this damn day behind me.

After my Silkwood shower, I put my clothes on and am just about to put my shoes on when Alex walks in looking as exhausted as me. I am so tired I’m not even mad at him, I’m just numb and I know that tomorrow when I see him again I’ll be mad again. It’s a vicious cycle and I have to escape before my psychosis causes me to lash out at him like Missy did to Gia. I know I don’t have sociopathic tendencies but the way I feel around him is degrading to me and the career I have worked hard to get. I need to get out before it’s too late.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex stands there looking at Amber with the same level of tiredness and numbness that she feels only he feels slightly worse because of what he needs to do. He needs to apologize and get their issues out of the way for both of their sakes. He starts by clearing his throat.

“Are you okay?”

Amber packs her stuff in her backpack not looking at him, “Sure a night of arresting a teenage psycho is just what I needed before collapsing on my bed.” Alex nods sharing her pain and her next words catch him off guard, “I’m gonna look for another program tomorrow. This thing.” Amber motions to both of them, “It’s gonna end bad and I need to get out and find something that won’t remind me of the worst time of my life every five seconds or undermine me because of my past.”

Alex looks down in shame over accusing Amber of being paranoid due to their mom and starts his apology train, “I’m sorry Amber and not just for today for all of it. I’m just sorry and I wish I could do thing differently.”

Amber shakes her head and closes her locker, “Don’t Alex don’t even bother the damage is done.”

“I never meant to hurt you.” Alex says it with sincerity and pain.

Amber looks at him with a blank face, “I’m sure you didn’t. I’m sure you didn’t even think about me. You saw a way out and you took it just like me only difference is I didn’t leave anyone behind with no defenses. Hell even Uncle Lucas gave a more of a damn than you and he hates us. But whatever reasons he had I’m sure they were better than yours for leaving.” Amber sits on the bench to put her boots on.

Alex’s shame gets deeper before he confesses an 8 year long secret, “I told him to.”

Amber looks up and raises an eyebrow, “Told who to do what?”

“I told Uncle Lucas to take you in and let you recover at his place until you graduated.” Amber pauses her laces clearly effected by his words as he continues, “CPS was gonna send you into foster care, Aaron was at the hospital and mom wasn’t a good choice so I made him an option. I gave him 8 grand to take you in and I told him I would pay him another 8 after you graduated. The bastard almost skimmed me but I told him I would report him for drug use after I found a stash of meth at his place.”

“Great place to dump your baby sister after she had her jaw reconstructed.” She says sarcastically.

“Well it was either him or do the foster lottery and you land in some rundown home with five other kids who will rip out your wires. And I made sure he was checked on. I called a cop buddy of mine and made him spy on you and him at the house and make sure he was treating you right or at least ignoring you.”

Amber ties my laces, “He did, he ignored me and I avoided him so I was glad to have one less thing for me to deal with. But just because you forced our inattentive Uncle to take me in doesn’t mean I forgive you. I appreciate what you did but you didn’t do much when you were around. The only reason I know you were there was because the doctors told me after I woke up that you held my hand for 10 minutes and then left. I tried to call you but you wouldn’t answer and maybe this whole me getting a job here was a subconscious decision to confront you and figure out why you left and that’s on me.”

Alex shakes his head, “No it’s on me. I started this by leaving and I know that wasn’t fair to you.”

Amber puts her other shoe on, “Your damn right it wasn’t.” Amber says with a vicious tone as she ties her laces.

Alex sighs and continues, “I know you hate me and you have a good reason to. I left you with a schizo mom who barely kept up with her meds and a brother I didn’t was gonna inherit the crazy gene. When I got a job here, I saw it as my ticket out of Iowa but I also saw it as my ticket out of our family. I told myself that Aaron was enough for you, that you were fine with just one brother, I sent the checks to help out because it made me feel better for abandoning you. I told myself that I wasn’t your father, that you were better off without me but you weren’t, it was clear to me that night when you needed me the most.” Amber stops what she’s doing as Alex brings that moment up and he sees it safe to sit next to her, “I held you hand for ten minutes; you were only 16, you should’ve been having sleepovers and shopping for a prom dress not being in a hospital after your brother almost killed you. I held your hand for ten minutes and then I left, Aaron was committed and so was our mom, you needed me and I wasn’t there. I told myself that I couldn’t take care of you that you were better off without me, that Uncle Lucas could do what I couldn’t. I…I wasn’t there I was the ass that can’t stand to be there and I’m older now and I know better now.” Amber is quiet as she feels a single tear down her cheek and wipes it away, “I should’ve done more for you and I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not being your brother when you needed me, I don’t know if it’s worth anything. But I just needed you to know how sorry I am.”

Alex says that with his eyes wet as he’s letting his feelings of shame and regret show to Amber who looks at him for the first time in appreciation and as her brother. She sniffles before saying, “It’s worth a lot but…we have a lot of work to do here.”

Alex nods, “Yeah…dysfunctional families am I right?” Amber sighs and puts her head on Alex’s shoulder looking to him as a source of comfort instead of a source of pain. It’s not magically fixed between them but that night is a starting point.

[aclosetfan]

Personally think calling them Brubbles would be hilarious. Brubbles brings double the troubles when they walk into a room. It’s a mess and at least three people will be crying and chances are they’re two of them. Blues and greens mix radiate the same energy too I feel. Just chaos but it has to be LOUD chaos and it’s always gonna be filled with both screaming and laughter. Blues and reds mesh in a “I need someone like you around regardless of how it may be”. It pains me to say but the reds and greens mix is hot and depends on how you mix but they could give power couple behavior if they really tried. I fear I’ve connected way too much emotionally to Buttercup and by extension, Butch, to ever like them with anyone else though😔 they’re my ultimate (which is painful in this fandom bc of how they’re typically written but alas). It’s funny though cause as the eldest in my respective three sibling dynamic I always thought I’d emotionally dump more on Blossom, especially because my love for Buttercup is a relatively new love (in comparison to my love for Blossom).

Hahaha yes to all of this!!

Greens and reds mixed are hot, and honestly, I think it’s because Buttercup would absolutely not bend to Brick, and he’d think it was his mission to make her. But Butch, whose already a yes-man to Brick, would already be 100% down to follow Blossom’s orders, and that’s new and exciting to her 😂😂😂

^^^but the above stuff if based on canon interpretations of these four characters that I typically see. I don’t think I’ve ever spent a lot of time developing these relationships myself because, like you said, I’m also such a sucker for the greens.

It’s so funny tho! I’m also the oldest of three who clicks more with Buttercup! I think it’s because Blossom was bossy and so was I, so my instinct was to turn away from her character. I also didn’t like her fanon interpretations. Plus, I was a pretty angry kid and saw that in Buttercup more, so I related better to her. Now, I ignore a lot of fandom stuff and love the both of them, but wish I was more like Bubbles 😂😂

[suginami-division]

山茶花 Zombeez Team Dynamics 📍

Ryuko is a person who likes to target his enemy’s weak points and either violently beat down or gradually eat away at the person until they ultimately are defeated. It’s easy to make Ryuko lose control of his temper however, which can lead to him wasting energy or making brash choices that could leave him open to attacks.

Maki’s ability can both paralyze and drain his opponents with his abilities, which makes for an extremely useful in battle. This however is something that Maki rarely ever uses, preferring to strategize how to get the rest of the team to work together to defeat opponents as quickly as possible. Overall, he acts as the tactician of the team.

While Shuu is relatively average when it comes to his rap skills, his rap ability is meant to be the distraction to help his other teammates either overpower or target a specific opponent. There is the 50% percent chance that his plans backfire however, since his rap ability is a gamble on luck.

Ryuko and Maki

Ryuko’s Side - Ryuko does his best to understand his older brother Maki, but his lack of book smarts makes it a struggle for him to connect with his older brother. He also fails to understand Maki’s seemingly distant behavior, judging every life choice that Ryuko makes every step of the way. Even so, being siblings helps Ryuko tolerates Maki’s strange behavior and they regularly contact each other whenever the two can. Not to mention, underneath all the spikes Ryuko holds Maki very near and dear to him as an older brother who at least tried to care for him as a kid. Ryuko typically addresses Maki by his name, although he sometimes likes to sarcastically call him “dearest brother” or just bro for short.

Maki’s Side - Even with the frequent arguments, unlike Ryuko, Maki secretly dotes on the youngest Umemoto brother. He just struggles with showing any positive affirmations to his brother without criticizing the poor man. Maki honestly wants the best for his “adorable” little brother and he can’t help but nitpick at Ryuko’s violent temper and history. While Maki addresses Ryuko by his name plainly in public, in private with other people, he talks about Ryuko with nicknames such as “little brother”, “baby brother”, or most drastically, “Ryu-Ryu” to make a pun on the sounds Ryuko’s motorcycle makes when speeding on his motorcycle.

Maki and Shuu

Maki’s Side - While Maki admires Shuu for his independence and determination to help others, there is a judgement against Shuu whenever the investigator talks about working with police, courts, or anything law related. Otherwise, he keeps a professional appearance in front of Shuu, unless if the two of them are working together to jab at Ryuko. Maki talks to Shuu by calling him Edogawa-san or “tantei-san/Mr. Detective”.

Shuu’s Side - Having not met each other before teaming up, Shuu finds it a bit weird to interact with a friend’s older brother. The mood switch that Maki seemingly takes when the professor is in the presence of authority or his brother, really intrigues Shuu (which the detective may or may not have noted in his private journal on more than one occasion). Shuu addresses Maki with the “san” honorific or by adding “sensei” onto the end or just simply sensei.

Shuu and Ryuko

Shuu’s Side - Initially there was a bit of a internal misunderstanding on Shuu’s side, as Shuu saw Ryuko as a one time savior. But today, that aspect has changed and Shuu holds nothing back when it comes to their friendship. Need to vent? They’ll listen to each other's life problems and complaints. Wanna watch some anime? Let’s watch together! Shuu calls Ryuko, “Ryu” and oftentimes add a “chan” honorific. Since meeting his older brother, Shuu started to call Ryuko by "Ryu-Ryu" as well, especially if he wants to tease him or beg him for something.

Ryuko’s Side - Ryuko honestly thought of Shuu as just another face in the crowd of people when they first met. But after coincidentally reconnecting later in life, the two have been surprisingly close. Ryuko sees Shuu as someone who he can openly talk with about his past and current work while sharing a mutual interest with animation (although Shuu’s is a bit on the strange side, not that Ryuko minds). Ryuko calls Shuu by his name plainly, although when he’s upset he’ll sometimes slip in a “chibi”, “bastard”, or a combination of both.

[ballroomofmarz]

Crystal Lore

LONGGG Text Post full of just some basic information regarding my girl. TW: Mentions of substance abuse and depression

Background:

Crystal was originally from the city life of Brooklyn, though her time there was shortly lived. She ended up in Georgetown, Texas a few streets away from this squirrely kid she'd later know as Leland.

Their first meeting, Crystal was eight and ended up pelting Leland in the face with a baseball, resulting in him getting a bloody nose. For some reason he kept coming back, and younger Crystal wasn't sure if she found the persistence annoying or endearing. The blonde ended up eventually taking up for the kid after a dispute that occurred in the neighborhood one day. She punched another kid for harassing Leland about his more sensitive nature. The blonde felt it was okay for her to be mean to Leland, but apparently it struck a cord if anyone else did. From there, she grew a little less cold towards the boy and even eventually learned to call him her friend. Crystal hadn't ever really had one of those before. The blonde was fairly well liked once they got into high school, gaining a reputation for being the life of the party. She spent her weekends drinking and spending the night with strangers. Crystal was a stranger to commitment and had little interest in something serious. Between her interest in journalism and learning about the issues in the world, Crystal also grew fond of bikes and music, spending most of her time working on modifying her bike and listening to The New York Dolls or T. Rex  in her backyard.

Oftentimes Crystal would invite Leland over, and he’d watch her work, while they talked about whatever came to mind.

School Life:

Throughout elementary school, Crystal was a bit of a troubled child. She always found something to scrap with a kid about, didn’t play well with others, and spent most of her time isolated.

She didn’t seem to want to make friends or listen to what she was told. Crystal was a mean spirited kid and typically treated any kindness towards her with a bitter attitude. This would scare off most sane kids, but something about Crystal drew Leland in.

It wasn’t until Crystal witnessed someone else being mean to Leland that she started to develop a liking for him, being annoyed that anyone could be so mean to such a sweet kid. It also kind of showed her some insights about herself.

Later in life Leland explained that he witnessed Crystal’s father being neglectful towards her at points and just saw a kid who needed a friend and not some bitch.

Middle school was when Crystal started to calm down a little, though she never dedicated her time to doing well in class, instead opting to focus on whatever made her feel good. Crystal’s aggression was channeled into her writing, where she started putting focus on journalism and being an activist for current world issues.

In High School Crystal became well known for her party girl persona, often trying to be the center of attention everywhere she went.

The blonde had a pretty promiscuous reputation as time went on, becoming pretty well known for her not so classy behavior as well as her brash nature. She had an ability to kind of blend in anywhere, always adapting, but never really letting people know the real her.

Senior year was roughest for Crystal, and that seemed to be when the blonde lost most of her motivation.

No one really understood why, but it was as if Crystal’s personality changed overnight. For a period of time she didn’t even want to leave her bed, believing that her life would end once high school did. That everything was going to change. 

Home Life:

 Before ending up in Georgetown, Crystal lived in Brooklyn for a period of time. Though only eight years of her life were spent in the city, many of Crystal’s most memorable events occurred there. The blonde has few fond memories of Brooklyn.

While her father would travel abroad, Crystal and her siblings would be left home with her mother. She recollects little of her time then, unsure what kind of person her mother truly was.

From as far back as Crystal could remember, her mother had been aloof, never entirely all there. No one realized how bad it actually was, until Crystal ended up going outside in the middle of the night one winter.

Crystal had woken up to find her mom wasn’t in bed. The young eight year old wandered out into the snow, only to find her mother unresponsive in the cold.

Crystal ended up waking up her siblings, who went to their neighbors for help, however the situation put Crystal and her siblings in the care of the state until her father returned.

Crystal’s mother was hospitalized and her father ended up filing for divorce once he returned.

Wanting an entirely new change of pace and scenery, the family ended up settling in Georgetown, Texas in hopes of being able to help grow and move on from the experience.

Unfortunately however, Crystal’s father still always prioritized his work, resulting in him being rather emotionally negligent of Crystal and her siblings.

From there the blonde would do any and everything to gain her father’s attention. Typically only receiving it when she’d acted out.

This ignited and fueled Crystal’s rebellious nature, causing her to do any and everything. The blonde grew impulsive, reckless, and aggressive over time.

She spent most of her days home alone, often throwing parties and having strangers stay in her bed. The one thing Crystal yearned for the most however, she always seemed to turn up empty handed.

She spent many nights laying awake and wondering just what kind of mother her mom could’ve been. If she was anything like her mom. Did she inherit that self-destructive nature from her?

Crystal did any and everything to cover up that void that ate away inside of her. Having no one to really guide or talk to her, she grew unfamiliar with the concept of love and stability in relationships.

Crystal usually opted for quick hookups, though her longest lasting relationship was on and off throughout Highschool with James Righton.

The blonde had about as good taste in partners as her parents however, typically opting to cling to people that didn’t value her as they should.

Perhaps it was a lack of understanding her self worth, or maybe it was a chance to prove that she could fix anything, and not feel like she failed her mother.

Crystal felt more like an object than a person most of her life, often spending her time skipping classes to be with whoever she was obsessed with at the time, or getting high at home in bed. 

[edwardelricsrightarm]

Riza Hawkeye as a child/young teen but she's just this Annie Oakley ass prodigal sharp shooter little shit who cuts her hair off with kitchen scissors and runs absolutely buckwild in the woods on her father's estate terrorizing small animals (humanely hunting I'm just being dramatic)

Roy boy is just this awkward nerdy little cornball who wants to get along, but they also kinda have that dynamic from the Swan Princess when Derek and Odette were kids ya feel me? Just watch the childhood montage from that movie you'll understand- ☠️

They have like nothing in common at the time (so they assume) and yet they end up thick as thieves cause Riza hasn't had many friends that she can see outside of her education and had an extremely isolated upbringing, so this goofy sweet baby faced dork just got her like that, even if he sometimes drives her nuts a little bit.

Riza would get upset fairly often bc her neglected social and emotional upbringing would get to her (bc realistically,,,,we know that was the case), and Roy got extremely good at knowing when she's upset and would often be the one to listen to her air her thoughts out (callback to the phone call scene after her encounter with pride, this lends background to how he knows her so well and reads her stress levels like a book even over the phone)

Mundane headcanons:

Roy would transmute little clay/dirt doves and targets for Riza bc he was worried about her shooting glass bottles and other assorted not necessarily safe objects.

Roy is trans, I can't untrans him that's just who he is to me. Riza is a self declared tomboy who I hc as nonbinary/demigirl. They're also bi4bi it's canon Arakawa told me.

Riza didn't really know good birthdays, and when Roy realized this it broke his heart bc Chris always tried to remember stuff like that for him and she's not even his own biological mother. So, he made an annual routine of gifting her something (often transmuted and unique).

Riza loved being out in nature back then and knew the wooded areas around the estate like the back of her own hand, when she and Roy had warmed up more to one another she made a routine of showing him all the neat little spots she'd found in the area for one reason or another, just for the sake of sharing that with someone. These remain some of their fondest memories.

Riza would be more likely to go out to shoot targets when she was angry or upset, if she was having a good day and had the time she would be more likely to go hunting because she enjoyed the hiking and tracking but couldn't focus on it when internally upset. Roy eventually figured this out as well.

Riza climbed so many trees, rocks, outcroppings, etc- and was always scraped up from something she probably shouldn't have climbed getting the better of her.

Riza used to have a nanny birddog named Otto, but he passed away before Roy came around, so making a new friend in him after that loss was a big comfort to her. She was hesitant to have other dogs until Hayate.

They're both autistic.

Relatedly, Riza would go nonverbal and lock herself in her room sometimes. Roy, concerned, would approach this by slipping little notes under the door offering company if needed, while not pushing her to talk.

Riza would sing/hum while doing chores or out and about exploring and on every occasion Roy overheard this he'd turn red from ear to ear- if she caught it and realized he'd heard she'd be twice as embarrassed.

Riza would take Roy foraging and showed him some useful/edible plants, and safe berries and mushrooms that she knew in the region. He was honestly always pretty impressed, especially considering some mushrooms that are safe have toxic siblings that look identical.

Both of them are varying levels of nerd. Riza is the type who's full of trivia, especially weird facts about her special interests (animal behavior, guns, bushcraft, navigation and tracking stuff, etc), Roy started out neutral to this but over time infosharing kinda became their love language, and he'd start to infodump right back. They'd spend hours like that some days.

Riza knows constellations really well for navigational reasons, and there were times that she showed Roy a way to get onto the roof from the attic and they'd stargaze. She would teach folk names of constellations, regional lore behind them, navigational uses for them etc; Roy would tell her basic facts about space and astronomy that come with understanding of alchemy.

Riza typically stuck to small prey (rabbits, fowl, easy to retrieve misc.), but Roy had an awakening when Riza first killed a whole ass deer (albeit a young one) and came back with it thrown over both shoulders with the determined energy of a small lionness.

Riza is REALLY good at cooking and baking because she had a bit too much free time to fuck around in the kitchen. She also learned how to cure and smoke meats bc of her hunting. It certainly helped them stay well fed.

Roy developed a habit of cooking for the household pretty regularly in a swapped routine with Riza after only a while of being around because he saw how much she had to be self sufficient in almost every way and honestly just wanted to relieve her of the constant responsibility and self parentification. He'd also help with chores constantly.

Roy had major internal conflict even early on because he respected his teacher greatly for his intelligence and brilliance, but also kned that Riza wasn't being raised well, and that no matter what he does, Berthold can only decline mentally. This is the root of his protective and caretaking behavior with her, ultimately.

Roy doodled and sketched a lot back in the day and had a little booklet that he guarded with his life bc it started out random assorted things, but eventually devolved into a book full of cute little doodles of mostly Riza jammed into the last half of the book (She can never know-). He still has it stored away.

Riza could easily pick him up even then, this never changed. She got to show this once when he sprained his ankle on a hike with her and she held half his weight as a crutch with no strain to herself. He never quite recovered from that (but boy did it make his crush worse).

Roy would notice rarely he'd have a shirt go missing and never could figure out why til he'd find Riza wearing an identical shirt. (She told herself it's just cause they're cozy of course- she just likes boys clothes too! They look nice under overalls and are comfortable to sleep in! nothing more /s) They never said a word about it even though it was right in front of them, they couldn't dare.

Roy had a bike, and she'd ride behind him down some of the rural roads and paths that could support it for fun sometimes.

During winter the home would get pretty chilly because of its size and not enough stoves/fireplaces to fully warm the declining estate, so when snowed in on miserably cold winter days they'd usually end up reclined in the study by the space heater or in the loungeroom by the fireplace reading separately, but still occasionally talking back and forth.

Riza stopped hunting post-Ishval. She couldn't bring herself to derive that same innocent pride and appreciation for the circle of life she once had, and felt she no longer deserved to have that respectful exchange with the cycle of life and death after what her skills had been used for. She never stops going to shooting ranges, but it's either for standard upkeep of practice or to vent.

[shirophantomvox]

Analyzing Killua Zoldyck's Character

Illumi Analysis| Hisoka Analysis| Chrollo Anaysis|

What’s up y’all?! I’ve had at least 2 cups of coffee this morning and I am ready to write my butt off! This post will be about Killua Zoldyck, my second favorite character and you will know why by the end. If you’d like me to write about your favorite character, Be sure to send me a message and I will get on it ASAP.

Here we go!

I saw Killua for the first time on Tumblr. Someone created various icons for several anime characters and edited them. They were all aesthetically pleasing but for some reason, his picture stood out. Now that I look harder, it is because he was holding a Pepsi can instead of the off-brand one they drew for him in the cartoon. I noticed everyone on TikTok and Twitter had the very same icon as their profile picture (usually those that like to troll and say racist things to others). Once I started watching Hunter x Hunter, I realized the character immediately. Thank you for your edits!

Killua Zoldyck is the youngest child in the family and is the only child that developed a mind for his own.

Instead of taking the pleasure of killing, he runs/avoids and achieves this by becoming friends with Gon. It’s interesting to think that no one in the Zoldyck family wants to kill for fun except for Illumi.

I remember Zeno telling Chrollo: “Do you think I enjoy killing?”.

This makes me think that the family’s job is to destroy enemies that are a threat to society. Are the Zoldyck’s taking on the role of cops or an extension of such? If that statement is true why does Illumi take pleasure in abusing his power when his own grandfather only does it when criminals are involved? Granted, Silva and Zeno’s reasoning for brutally fighting criminals isn’t legal, and (to me) are considered to be vigilantes, at least they don’t go around doing the horrible things like how Illumi and Hisoka do.

This very reason why Killua ran away from home. He decided to rebel against his mother and implied: “Fuck you. I’m going to do what I want.” Killua and his siblings are victims of child abuse and show that they deal with that abuse in different ways. Killua masks his abilities in public and tries to keep them under control, Kalluto seems to be very quiet and obedient, Milluki is just as abusive as Illumi, and we already know about Illumi. Milluki is physically abusive; this can be seen when he is whipping Killua for running away and threatens to destroy Gon, Kurapika, and Leorio while Illumi plays mind games on Killua and uses his Nen to do the trick.

Killua’s character is very special and in a way takes the lead as the main character instead of Gon. I don’t know if that was intentional or not. Killua is a 12-year-old boy who leaves home to escape his abusive home and see the world for his own. During phase 1 of Hunter’s Exam, he instantly clicks with Gon; probably because he’s the only 12-year-old there. They constantly challenge each other to see who will win and who will buy dinner or some other reward. Because of his abusive home, Killua often masks his feelings. This is noticeable every time Gon talks about him being his best friend and he always reacts as if he’s embarrassed by it.

Gon is his shield from going bat-shit crazy like his family. They both have faced opponents (like Hisoka and others) where Killua could have unleashed his assassin abilities but didn’t. Yes, some of the opponents are stronger than him, but it wouldn’t hurt to try.

Killua is the best friend Gon could ever have. Since he knows about aura and any supernatural abilities, this is why he stops Gon and even insults him for pushing himself too far. Killua stopped Gon from using too much aura in the past especially once Kite’s arm was cut off by Pitou. Because Killua wasn’t there to stop him when fighting Pitou, this resulted in Gon’s downfall. Did Killua believe it was his fault that Gon almost died? He isn’t responsible for Gon’s actions but he focused so much on running away from his “demons” and masking his temper by maintaining his friendship that he wasn’t paying attention to Gon’s noticeable and developing temper.

Killua Zoldyck is a child that suffered from abuse and to escape that reality, he runs away, takes Hunter’s Exam only to match with his brother, chooses defeat, and then kills an opponent, not of his own free will.

But wait, there’s more.

After being rescued from his prison of a home, he goes to Heaven’s Arena, met Zushi and his teacher, develop Nen, follows the Phantom Troupe around and somehow managed to survive that, meet Bisky, join a game to get closer to Ging, witnesses Gon disappearing, trying to form a relationship with Alluka, and then tries to heal Gon with a quickness.

Whew, chile!

At the beginning of the show, it appeared as if Killua was taking on too much and only did so to keep his mind off what he escaped from.

One thing to point out is Killua’s motivation to heal Gon no matter what. It is implied that he doesn’t care what will happen to him or anyone else as long as Gon can live again.

Wait.

Isn’t that along the lines of what Gon said about getting revenge for Kite? He didn’t care about what happened to him? Hmmmm. I guess they’re very similar after all!

Killua and Gon are BFFs and will do anything for each other. Friendships in real life should be this way; let’s follow his fictional example.

Face

Killua’s face is the typical shape for someone his age. His eyes are wide, as blue as the morning sky, and honestly, I wish he’d smile more. Even though he is 12 years old, he still has a babyface.

Hair

Killua’s hair color is very similar to Princess Allura’s and Lotor’s. According to verywellmind.com, the color white represents innocence and purity. Ironically, Lotor and Killua are the opposite of that while Allura has maintained her innocence. Killua’s unique hair color and hairstyle are amazing! I love how it stays in shape while he is fighting or running.

Clothes

Regarding clothes, he is JUST like his brother. Again, Illumi irks me, but they both have a great taste in fashion. Through the show, Killua changes his clothes more than Gon, which is funny. I guess if Gon changed his clothes too much it would take away from his character. Killua’s default style contains a sleeveless white shirt with a purple one underneath, basketball shorts, and gym shoes. Just look at these outfit changes! This is why Killua is my 2nd favorite character in this show.

Behavior

As stated before, Killua cares more about others. This is ironic because the Zoldyck family only cares about themselves or their family while Killua feels the complete opposite. It’s almost as if he trusts strangers more than his own family. A common phrase: “She/He turned to the streets” that I’ve heard in my hometown can be applied here. Killua probably hates his family and turned to strangers to find love and comfort since they neglected that. He is also the only one that tries to develop a relationship with Alluka. At first, I thought “Wow he’s only developing a relationship with her to heal Gon” but then I realized it was bigger than that. Alluka has been separated from her family because of her dangerous abilities. She will demand something and if that person doesn’t fulfill her demands, they will suffer horribly. Killua learns that Alluka has a healing ability and while Illumi complains that Killua was hiding rules from him, he never took the chance to talk to him about it and continued to threaten Alluka. The family “banished” her to a confined room for who knows how long because, apparently, she had been possessed by a demon from the Dark Continent and they do not know when it happened. Despite knowing that Killua could parish with the rest, he still develops a relationship with her. He is the true example of excepting someone for who they are. As far as I’m concerned, running away was the best decision he made. It saved his life and in return, he’s going to save another. I do find it ironic that something considered to be so dark has the power to bring something back to life when usually it’s something bright like a light...interesting. You all know what I’m saying. Most television shows only portray angles to heal others while demons only seek to destroy. The Zoldyck family is wrong for pushing Alluka away. How could you do that to your own kid? Shit, you should be blaming yourself for not watching her and allowing the demon to posses her.

In conclusion, Killua is my second favorite character. He is bold, loves his friends, and isn’t afraid (anymore) to step up to people he may not win against. His character has blossomed from a young boy afraid to step up to his brother to a boy who isn’t afraid to do so. He has learned about Nen and has gone through many trials and tribulations just to say he is much stronger than before. What characters would you like to hear about next? Send me a DM!

Fin.

[testingcheats0n]

Detroit Become Human AU where:

-> Tommy is an up-and-coming livestreamer of the retro game Minecraft- forming part of a fledgling community of all-human players of the game. His growth is slow but steady and he has a future in a genre that had fallen out of fashion with the rise of the newest and more immersive VR games on the market. People love to see an actual human that could make mistakes and win against another fellow human fairly. The nostalgia it brought to some people is also undeniably at play.

It's worth noting that Tommy is a very lonely kid, with a non-existent social life since he and his family had to move to America after his father struck a lucrative business deal with his brilliant protege.

-> Wilbur, Tommy's older brother and only guardian after their father, Phil, dedicated his life to the creation of androids with his young but brilliant pupil Elijah Kamski, is a simple busker. It's hard to find a job at 24 with no previous experience or further education, he had to take care of Tommy, after all. True, their economic troubles never ended, and he could barely provide for Tommy, but at least they had each other, even if Wilbur was off to the streets of Detroit more often than not. He has no idea of his younger brother's blooming career in the gaming industry and is very worried about his future. The solution? A very suspicious android his best friend Schlatt offers for very cheap.

-> Phil Watson is a household name together with Elijah Kamski's, they created one of humanity's greatest tools, after all. Nothing suspicious here, they're definitely not hiding any potential deviancies from the code! In any case, his family never saw a dime of the frankly insane amount of money piling up in his bank account. He has an old phone he carries in his pocket every day with Wilbur's phone number, but he never dares to call it despite RN800, his assistant's, insistence that he was only making his own life harder. He is going to dial that phone number someday. Surely.

-> TU880 is an android from an old companion/educational line, discontinued after a few notable bugs and glitches in their core programming. Nothing serious, or life-threatening, but many customers have complained about disturbing behavior that falls straight into the uncanny valley- he's too human. Schlatt, his previous owner, refuses to disclose where he got TU880 from, nor does he have any legal documentation to prove he is his owner. Wilbur, desperate to find a solution for Tommy's perceived loneliness pays the fifty bucks his old pal asks for the android without asking any questions. It's weird for an adult to go around with a teen model created to counsel adolescents and help them with their homework. TU880 had problems with reading his grocery list, anyway.

-> Tommy is a bit weirded out, he thrives in an internet community which openly despises anything android, but his good friend Technoblade has plenty of useful advice, from maitenance to behavior. TU880 is odd, which he discards as kinks and bugs of the older models, but they get along nicely once TU880's programming kicks in. He likes to help Tommy edit his videos and speak about the problems of adolescence, he is oddly fond of bees or anything small and defenceless and likes to tell his 'dreams' of scientists in labcoats and other kids like him stuck in experiments. Tommy listens with half an ear, TU880 is his friend, after all. He thinks nothing of it.

-> It all becomes a bit too much when TU880 accidentally appears on camera during one of Tommy's streams. People assume he's Tommy's brother, and insist on getting an introduction. TU880 is ecstatic, but from what Tommy's told him, revealing his artificial status might harm his friend's career so he greets the chat as Toby, Tommy's older brother. The community goes wild and Tommy has to pretend that TU880 is his brother (which isn't that terrible per-se) and not the house assistant who has a complete psychological profile of him.

-> TU880 begins to feel strange, both regarding Tommy and his own place in the household. Calling Tommy hus brother is easy as calculus and makes his thirium pump skip a few beats, but he's not sure if he should be getting this attached. He's sure he is malfunctioning in some way, but Schlatt always assured him that he is fine. He thinks nothing of it and instead continues to watch over Tommy.

-> Minecraft is fun, and he eventually gets his own account on Wilbur's old (read: ancient) laptop despite possessing an internal processor powerful enough to play the game at its maximum capacity in his mind, and probably in a 3D holoprojector. At this point, he's in too deep and the friends he's making would certainly ask questions if he were to disappear. He has the opportunity to talk about anything at all to his growing audience, and the community is very welcoming in general once one integrates into their culture. He still doesn't feel it's fair to participate in the tournaments and all the other official competitions. People find it odd, but they assume he's not very good at PVP so no one tends to comment on it for now. It's okay though, he and his new friend Ranboo act as commentators during the events and everyone thinks they're pretty funny.

-> Ranboo is fun to be around. He just gets TU880- or as the internet knows him as, Tubbo. They click easily, sometimes the other boy seems just as confused about other people's reactions and behavior as Tubbo is (despite his in-depth knowledge of psychology. He's not quite connected to Cyberlife's database anymore and his learning algorithm is outdated at best.) and they like to spend their afternoons with Tommy, watching movies. The game overtakes their lives and they spend a lot of time playing privately with the best strategies Tubbo's advanced algorithms and Ranboo's sheer brilliancy can create. That's how they meet their friend Fundy, who is more than happy to keep their Technical Minecraft server a secret, as long as he gets to do his own thing with coding and they test it.

-> Tommy is just happy that he can use the cool farms for his own grinding.

-> Technoblade is Tommy's mysterious internet friend and fellow growing streamer. Everyone is sure that he's an android infiltrating the budding community, but after several years of isolated incidents, investigations, and online scandals no one was able to prove anything. Technoblade just never dies. (Tommy is 50% sure his friend is really an android, the older man simply refuses to comment). It is possible to spend months farming digital potatoes, people are just mean and want drama. Technoblade is just vibing. Incidentally, he's also the first one to figure out that Ranboo and Tubbo are androids. He is also the first one to figure out they're deviants. He doesn't mention it until much later though.

-> Jack and Niki Manifold have successfully founded their own mechanic business for android repairs. Cyberlife mumbled and grumbled at the siblings' repair shop, but in the end it was good for PR so they let them be. Tommy and Wilbur become their friends as TU880's frequent malfunctions inevitably bring the pair to the cheapest android repair service in the city. TU880 can't complain, Niki is sweet to him and understands what is wrong with him just by his description, since his diagnostics aren't working entirely and each an every single one of Jack's repairs last loner than every other mechanic he's been to.

-> Gradually, Tommy's fame becomes apparent, and Wilbur has the time to actually rest and spend time with his brother. He's just happy that they can be together. A weight is lifted off his shoulders and for the first time ever he feels like his little family has a future. Not even once does it pass through his mind that TU880 isn't acting like a typical android- he avoided the things on principle. Once, TU880 calls him his brother and he cries.

-> Sam is Cyberlife's very own private investigator. He is in charge of researching and turning in possible deviants that might help the company with developing a solution for the rising problem. In particular, he's been after the trail of a specific line of androids, the first one released by Kamski and Watson dubbed as TU. According to his investigations the line might have contained the code responsible for deviancy. Further research indicated that Kamski's code was based on a group project from the Dutch university for cibernetics.

-> Fundy is just a 21 y/o with a Twitch account and a passing interest in coding. Nothing serious, nothing suspicious. He absolutely wasn't part of the early AI coding trials that Kamski would later on use as the basis for his own code. If someone asks, he has no idea what ra9 means. He is almost sure that his friends are androids, the thought makes him very happy.

-> Puffy is Phil's new psychologist. Need I say more? Eventual Hurt/comfort baby!!!

[dreamkidddream]

I really enjoyed your writing on the ADA members with a younger sibling like partner <33 I was wondering if you could write the same scenario but with Chuuya and Fyodor? Except the younger partner in question has a rough past and cheery/joking personality similar to Dazai(?) I'm super excited to see more of your writing!! c:

Hi anon! Thank you for the compliment and for reading (here’s the scenario for those that want to read it)! The only difference is that instead of this reader being pure, they’re going to be like a mini Dazai (or at least similar to him). One change that I did make was that Reader isn’t as suicidal as Dazai (ie. constantly trying to find a way to end their life), but Reader is ready to go whenever and wherever, whether it’s on their terms or not. Reader is gender neutral and hope you enjoy!

Also ayyyeeee my first time writing for Fyodor! Hope I did him justice cause his part took a while lol

TW: Mentions of suicide, dark moments (Reader is a bit sadistic, but nothing graphic is mentioned) small spoilers for Dark Era arc and Season 3

Acting as a Younger Sibling with a Rough Past and Personality Similar to Dazai with: Chuuya and Fyodor

Chuuya

Well he was extremely disturbed to say the least. Okay extremely may be over exaggerating, but the way you acted got underneath his skin bad

You reminded him too much of Dazai, minus the suicide attempts and the animosity towards him. Although that didn’t stop the morbid jokes from happening

“Hey Chu-Chu, what did the librarian say to the guy that wanted to check out a book on how to commit suicide?”

“How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that!-“

“Go away, you’re not going to bring it back. HA! A knee slapper, am I right?”

He wondered if Dazai got to you first like he did Akutagawa, and if he did, that was just another reason to strangle him

You were his partner, and you were young. So seeing the way you interacted with everyone and everything with such a pessimistic attitude while still being cheery was alarming

Not to mention how easy it is for you to just readily accept death at every turn. You’re the literal embodiment of “guess I’ll die” and it drives Chuuya up the wall every time

He remembers the one time an enemy held you hostage how you were so cheerful to finally be rid of this joke you called a life, and that you told the guy who was holding a gun to your head to “put it between the eyes, it looks 10x better that way.” And “don’t be afraid to blow my brains out either! But you do you, but I think it’s a rather stylistic choice if I do say so myself.”

The man thought you were trying to distract him at first, but when he figured out that you were serious he honestly got so nervous he was ready to just let you go and suggest therapy lmao

After he handled the situation, he took you directly under his wing. Sure, you were already his partner, but he was really going to look out for you including outside of work. If it meant that he had to “babysit” you, then oh well

Plus he didn’t want to face Mori if he just let you die while under his care

You realized what he was trying to do when you two would go off to “collect information” and would be doing the complete opposite. “Hey, I’m kinda hungry, let’s take a break and grab a bite to eat.”

“I thought we had to get this info back to Mori ASAP. Not that I care if he’s mad, he’s been holding out on me and this is the perfect way to take revenge.”

“Holding out how?”

“I told him that since he’s a doctor he would be the perfect teacher to show me some new techniques.”

“...on?”

“Torturing, duh! My methods are getting kinda stale, and I do want to perfect my craft after all. I want to be good at something before I kick the bucket, Chu.”

Poor man is honestly in so much distress because of you please help him

And the way you interacted with the other members was both entertaining and horrifying to watch at times. Majority of the time, you were this happy go lucky kid with a dark sense of humor (you still made people smile, although sometimes it was tense or apprehensive, but whatever a smile is still a smile). But when you were having a bad day or a mission was going wrong, everyone knew to steer clear of you.

A new recruit tried to cheer you up one day, telling you that “it could always be worse”. You then got pulled into the office with a very angry Chuuya and a mildly disappointed Mori.

Chuuya finally had enough after months of this occurred. It was like a never ending cycle: except your behavior was getting increasingly more reckless and dangerous. It was driving him crazy trying to figure out why you were this way and if it was any way to snap you out of it

He wasn’t a stranger to death, he’s seen it with his own two eyes, end even killed people with his bare hands. But the huge difference between you two is that he didn’t particularly enjoy killing, if it had to be done then he had no problems doing so; it comes with the job y’know? But with you, you took actual pleasure in killing. It filled you with a sick sense of glee, and it even made his stomach turn

The bond between you two grew from just a typical work relationship (as far as working in the mafia goes). He knew that from underneath your rather concerning persona, you were just troubled. Someone or something made you this way, and while he had his own troubles growing up, he was able to deal with it and overcome his issues. It just seemed like you just...gave in to yours. And it made him feel pity for you.

You didn’t mind Chuuya at all. You actually liked being his partner! He was pretty much the only person that you didn’t feel a need to harm or kill. And he was fun to be around, when he wasn’t being such a party pooper (I mean what’s the point of being in the mafia when you can’t purposely spill some blood every now and then for fun?). The only thing you didn’t like was how he would try and get you to talk about your past. You honestly didn’t see a point in it, it’s called the past for a reason, why didn’t he understand that?!

But no matter how many times you would shut down or try to change the subject, he would always try again, and again, and again. It was very annoying. And you didn’t like to talk about it. Why didn’t Chuuya understand that?!

Eventually, his pestering worked. One day after a rough mission when he had to patch you up, you opened up to him. You didn’t immediately tell him everything, but you gave him small insights to what happened, to what lead you to be this way

You could tell that he was grateful that he was finally getting somewhere with you. And you yourself was surprised that your dynamic didn’t change. He didn’t look at you with sympathy in his eyes, he didn’t baby you, he wasn’t disgusted by you, everything was normal. The only difference is that Chuuya told you that it was okay to talk to him, and that you shouldn’t be scared to approach him (psh you scared, yeah okay)

Chuuya felt like a weight lifted off his shoulders once you opened up. You were still a bit sadistic (but you did tone it back after the recruit incident, and after you saw how repulsed he looked, so you just did everything behind closed doors now) and had your cheery persona on, but it felt a little bit more real now. It felt genuine. It gave him a good feeling to see some spark in your eyes instead of the full he felt himself getting used to. And he would never say it to you, but it also gave him a warm feeling with him being your role model (you knew but didn’t want to burst his bubble yet)

Your change wasn’t very noticeable at first, but that’s okay. No one needed to know, it was fine with just you and Chuuya. You still felt the desire to just be done with life, but it wasn’t your focus whenever you were with him. You hadn’t made peace with your past yet, but you felt you could one day with him by your side. He was someone that you didn’t knew you needed (or wanted to admit to), but it worked out in the end. You had doubts that you could or would ever change, but if you did, growing to be someone like Chuuya would’nt be the worst possible outcome

Plus, whenever he did run into Dazai with his new sidekick, he is 10000% bragging about how much better and cooler you are, with him being the superior between them both. He can’t WAIT till you guys can whoop their ass

Fyodor

Well weren’t you such an interesting character

To see someone as young as you ready to just leave this world in an abrupt way was intriguing, and he realized that he could use this to his advantage. Maybe even give you something to gain in exchange

He found you hiding inside a disgusting abandoned building (a fitting place for a rat if he would say so himself), drenched in blood. Fyodor didn’t necessarily care why, but he was curious about one thing: why were you smiling? Your eyes were so lifeless, yet here you were smiling so bright, as if you weren’t covered in someone’s blood

Fyodor found himself smiling down at you. Did you think he was prey, that he was going to be your next target? He wanted you to try, he wanted to see what you were really capable of

“Tell me, what is going to be your next move? Do you wish to attack me?”

“If you do something that I don’t like, then yes, that’s the plan. Why are you here Mister? You wanna have some fun too?”, your smile turned into a smirk, twirling your very sharp knife in your hand. “You’re not even from here, so why are you trying to bother such an innocent kid like me?”

He matched your smirk, “You are from innocent, child, even a blind man can see that. To see just how full of sin you are. This wasn’t your first atrocity that you committed nor would it be your last. Which is a shame, it might be too late for me to cleanse you of your filth.”

Oh, he was going to be very amusing to mess with. But you weren’t stupid. Something wasn’t right with this man. No one would walk up to someone with copious amounts of blood on them, holding a weapon that caused said blood, while berating them about being “full of sin”. What was his ability? Did he have people with him? Was the building surrounded or booby trapped? These questions swirled around your head, all while he just kept smirking at you. He was pissing you off, who the hell did he think he was?

But you kept your anger at bay, plastering a cheerful smile on your face. “Sin? Cleanse me of my filth? I guess I do kinda stink but who exactly do you think you are, some type of God?”

“That’s exactly what I am. I’m here to free this world from this wretched curse that has been brought upon.”

...huh? Did-did he escape from the asylum or something? Did he seriously believe himself to be a God (not even a prophet but an actual God)? Seeing your confusion, he continued on, “The curse of ability users. They plague this Earth, and they need to be eliminated.”

“Why is that? What’s wrong with having abilities? Hellooooo, some people’s abilities are actually pretty cool! If you just have a terrible ability, it’s your problem, not the world-“

“Why not let me show you why it’s indeed a curse?”

“And how would you do that? You must be crazy if you think I’m going anywhere with you. I may be dangerous but I’m not dumb!”

“You poor, misguided soul.”, he tutted at you. “Look at where you have ended up at. These people with these so called “cool abilities” have failed you, have they not? Yet you still idolize them, not believing that they are the reason for your misfortunes. If they were truly your idols, they wouldn’t have left you to fend for yourself, to live among the rats. They left you to rot, do you not see that?”

He was hitting too close to home, he was getting too personal, too close. He didn’t know you at all, you’re a complete stranger to him, but why did his words hold some truth to them?

“Come with me, and I will prove to you first hand why this has to be done.”, he was now physically close to you, staring you deep into your eyes. “It would be such a waste for you to die without knowing the truth, wouldn’t you agree?”

You didn’t have much, he wasn’t wrong. But if he could take you somewhere with real food and not scraps you had to fight to find, and to have real shelter, then fine. You agreed. And if you felt that something was up, you’ll just kill him, run away, or both

After he took you away, he kept to his word. It seemed like he was really was telling the truth, you getting first-hand experience like he promised. It was scary that he was right, but you were also indebted to him. He not only allowed you to live in luxury (at least it was luxury to you considering what you had before), but he opened your eyes to what the true problem is. He gave your life a new purpose. If you two were able to successfully complete his goal, then your problems would be gone forever right? You would finally be able to feel a sense of peace, and you can’t wait till that could happen

You and Fyodor, after he opened your eyes, bonded easier than in the beginning. You were smart enough to not fully trust him after leaving with him, but after just a couple of pulled strings to cause certain things to happen, you slowly melted and molded into the way that he planned. You would be an excellent pawn in his grand plan, and you would do well in keeping him entertained at the same time

You were a joyful child, even when carrying out his dirty work, you did so gleefully. After joining the Rats in the House of the Dead, you tried to spread that joy among the other members. They didn’t find it very amusing, but you didn’t care and neither did Fyodor. You were far too important to let go of now

You were always by him, it seemed. Always in the same space, whether he was planning his next move, and playing the cello, you were always there with this look of awe directed at him. Every time he would catch you staring, he would simply chuckle and softly reprimand you about, “how rude it is to stare, but you simply can’t help it.”

He even taught you how to play the cello!

You sounded terrible but practice makes perfect

As time went on and the end goal seeming to be closing in, he came to see you as more than just an expendable tool. He found out about your past, but simply proved to you once again why you two had to make sure the curse was ridden as soon as possible. No one wanted a repeat of what happened to you to happen to anyone else, so the mission had to be success. Failure was not an option

Fyodor didn’t see himself as a cruel man towards you. He just didn’t mince his words and he made sure that you were dealing with the truth, and not some lie that was attempted to be twisted as reality. If anything, that was the way that he showed that he held some compassion for you, he wasn’t willing to let you be lead astray from the truth again, not while he was here. You had somehow wiggled your way into his mind, where he had been accepting of your close bond, and he took that into consideration

Once his goal is achieved and he has truly made his place known as a God, he’ll make sure that you gain your rightful place among him as well. You were worthy in Fyodor’s eyes, and as long as nothing came in between your bond and the end goal, then everything will work out. He will make sure of that.

[dreadpoetssociety]

I’m Many Things

TW: Mention of sexual harassment

Note: I’ve never really posted these before, so please be lax if it’s bad lol. I don’t see a lot of sibling fics (understandably lol) but I feel weird writing like romantic relationshipy reader insert fics with characters that are significantly older than me. Anywayyy, here goes. This is going to be short for now. 

Note pt 2: Idk if this really is any good. Looking at it now it seems a little off or I can’t really tell if I got Spencer right, but I tried!! It’s kinda rushed, I’ll admit. Also hopefully I used a gif right lol. This is kinda cringey and I promise I’m better than this fic, but I just really wanted to break the ice and start posting them, so enjoy!! (if you have any prompts/ideas please send me some ! I wanna write some more :))

()()()()()()

Summary: Your brother, Spencer Reid, has to have a meeting with your principal.

Spencer Reid x Sister!reader 

(or should I say reider hahahah I’ll shut up.)

By now, Spencer was pretty familiar with the hallways of your high school, given how many times he’d been called in for meetings with various different staff members, or even from the parent-teacher conferences alone. Thankfully, the office was at the front entrance of the building, blocked off from the rest of the hallway with floor to ceiling windows, with one door. 

Reid had been informed in a very interesting phone call with the principal himself of what you had done. He was used to the petty things from you, talking back to teachers, skipping a class, vandalizing something, but the one thing you had never done, at least until now, was get into a physical altercation with another student during school. Let alone punch the principal’s son. Even so, despite the disappointment, Spencer still sensed that something was wrong in the sense that he understood you wouldn’t just do something like that out of nowhere. 

He was greeted by the women at the desk as he walked in.

“Hello, Dr. Reid. Nice to see you again.” she smiled.

“You too, if only it were under different circumstances.” Reid replied with a polite smile.

“She’s in front of the office, as usual.” the woman gestured to Reid’s right. The office had many rooms in it on its own, its own hallway and all that. Spencer walked behind the front desk and turned, seeing you sitting in a plastic chair near the end of the hall.

You turned when you heard footsteps coming down the hall.

“I know how this looks, but I promise it’s not like that.” you began explaining.

“You say that every time Y/N. This is the third time this semester I’ve had to leave work because you’ve gotten into some kind of trouble.” Spencer replied, obviously disappointed.

“This is different! Mr. Beck is being so stupid just because it’s his own son. You don’t understand, that kid is awful.” you said.

“Y/N did he hit you?” Spencer asked.

“Well, I mean, no but-” 

“That’s exactly what I mean. I understand that you’ve had it rough, but really Y/N getting violent?” Typically, Spencer would always hear you out. He was understanding, and genuinely listened, but the team was just about to leave on a case that was already stressful, and now it’s being delayed, “Y/N there’s a serial killer out west killing people every few hours, peoples’ lives are on the line and this is where I am.”

He’d never spoken to you that way. It was really unlike him, and he never put the job before you most of the time, and this hit you where it hurts.

It was then that you both were called into the principal’s private office.

“Dr. Reid, I apologize for pulling you from your busy schedule.” the man known as Mr. Beck greeted as he stood up and offered his hand, which Spencer shook.

“It’s no problem, sir, it’s not your fault.” Spencer then saw the other boy sitting in the chair on the far side of the room with a very swollen eye that would definitely be very purple later, a day or two to be more specific he thought. For teens, it takes about that long for the hemoglobin to change the red color to a more blue or purple he explained to himself in his own head, because that’s just how his mind automatically works. Either way, it was worse than he thought it’d be.

“Now, we’ve already talked about the issue over the phone, and as far as consequences go, we’ve been very lenient with Y/N for so long.” Mr. Beck began, “If I’m being completely honest, after what happened today, expulsion is being very highly considered.” 

“You’re going to expel me? You didn’t even listen to my side of the story, I’ve been sitting on that goddamn chair this entire time! You’re just taking your son’s word over mine you biased a-” 

“Y/N!” Spencer interrupted, “Mr. Beck, I understand completely why you’re upset and I’m appreciative of you patience, but expulsion seems a bit extreme. I promise I’ll talk to her and she’ll get the consequences she deserves and this won’t happen again. Suspension I can understand.” 

Great. you thought, Serial killer and now he has to save me from expulsion. Way to go again, disappointment.

“What? You didn’t even hear what happened! Your son was-” 

“Y/N that is quite enough!” Mr. Beck nearly yelled, “We’ve given you so many chances and today, my son tells me that you’ve been making fun of him and violently hurt him without reason! It is unacceptable!”

You genuinely laughed at that point, “I’m sorry what? Your son told you that I made fun of HIM? Have you ever looked at your precious son’s phone?” 

“Y/N shut up. You know what you’ve done.” Mr. Beck’s son snapped. Spencer found the phrasing quite odd. His demeanor was off putting, and he didn’t seem nervous at all. Granted, he could be in shock. Spencer recognized him, though, from pictures you’d shown him when complaining about pretty much every student in school, “You know you came up to me randomly. You know you harass me literally all of the time, and for what?”

Spencer noticed that this kid didn’t look anyone in the eye when he spoke, but slightly behind them.

“Mr. Beck, did Y/N ever say why she hit your son?”

“What does it matter what she says? She cannot be trusted and this behavior is not new. My son would not lie about this.” Mr. Beck sounded offended. 

“As a staff member, though, you shouldn’t let your biases get in the way.”

“She still physically harmed another student. Regardless of why, she must face consequences.” 

“Mr. Beck, it is only respectful to at least hear what she has to say.” Spencer argued. The young boy in the far seat’s face changed. He was nervous now. Mr. Beck sighed, and nodded towards you.

“Mr. Beck, this my come as a surprise to you, but I was NOT harassing your son. He was harassing another girl between classes. She had sent nudes to him, and then I don’t know if they had a falling out or something, but she was trying to like, I don’t know, break up with him I guess and he was following her around and pushed her up against a locker and tried to like, kiss her even though she said no. So I punched him, and then he threatened to send those pictures of her to everyone.” you stated, “Mr. Beck honestly, I’m many things, but a bully isn’t one of them. And no offense, but the last person I’m interested in even looking at is freaking Kyle Beck of all people.” you ranted. Spencer realized then that you were being genuine. You were a good liar to the naked eye, but always gave off the basic tells that Spencer could pick up on when you weren’t being truthful.

It was then that Spencer’s disappointment actually changed to pride. Although he didn’t condone the violence, he understood that you were a loner of sorts, and appreciated that you’d stand up for someone like that.

“Dad, she’s so full of crap! I would never do that, you know me!” he yelled. Reid noticed the small tremor in his voice, and quick change of behavior. 

“Y/N, I know I raised my son differently.” 

“Check his phone.” you said. 

“I know what he does.” Mr. Beck snapped.

“Sir, I believe she’s telling the truth. I say this as unbiased as I can, but I can tell when she’s lying. I am a profiler, you know.” Reid backed you up. He didn’t usually pull out the profiler card, but reading the room, now seemed like a good time. Mr. Beck was taken back for a moment before sighing, and his son’s face completely drained of color when asked to unlock the device.

It wasn’t long after that that the truth came to the surface. Your sentence went from expulsion to a month’s worth of detention.

Walking to the car, Spencer said, “You know Y/N, I don’t condone the violence, and don’t exactly agree with the way you handled that, but I am proud of you for sticking up for that girl.”

“Yeah.” you replied. He noticed that you didn’t seem happy, but more so upset.

“Y/N, what’s bothering you?”

“Nothing.”

“I’m profiler, Y/N. You know I don’t believe that.” he said. You sighed.

“I don’t mean to disappoint you all the time,” you started as Reid’s heart sank, “I know you should be out there saving people rather than staying here and dealing with me. I’m not worth the time. I don’t know why I’m this way, I’m really sorry.”

“Y/N...” Spencer realized his mistake, “I was just stressed when I said that. You’re not a disappointment and shouldn’t apologize for just being who you are. Don’t undermine your importance, either. You mean more to me than the job.”

You smiled, “So does this mean I can come with you and look at crime scenes?”

“Absolutely not.” Reid chuckled.

“Aw, but it would be so cool! I’ll be good I promise!”

“Y/N, crime scenes aren’t cool, and you would cause trouble before we even got there.” he said, jokingly, “I bet you would even try to fly the jet.”

“Oh my god, I never even thought about doing that. That’s such a good idea.”

“And that’s why you’re not allowed to come.” Reid smiled, as they both got in the car and drove towards home. Spencer appreciated the ten minute ride while he could, knowing he would be leaving soon after. 

[jaehyunspeachparty]

daddy jaehyun

iv.xli. (m)

When Jaehyun was opening his emotions and feelings, it took him a lot of strength. After she was at the playground and he was so honest and vulnerable, he was totally clingy for the rest of the day. He clung to the children, to you, and needed so much attention that it was actually cute. However, this change in his mind and that he was no longer too jealous has a reason. Since his mother was in a coma, he saw many things differently.

In the evening you were in bed with Jaehyun. Sunoh and Miga were already asleep, but the twins were still awake. You are lying in his arms, he also had Kiwoo in his hand and you are breastfeeding Geon. "Can you believe the two have been almost 5 months?" Jaehyun looks at Kiwoo and smiled. "I don't really want to think about it that much. They're growing too fast for me and they're our last babies." You sigh and stroke Geon's head. "Would you like to have more children?" Jaehyun then asked. "I think after the twins my body will not be able to cope anymore. As much as I would like to have a whole bunch of children with you, I think that we are a nice size of a family now." You smile and look up at Jaehyun. "That's right, now we can all pay enough attention. With more it becomes more difficult." Jaehyun sighed and stroked his thumb over Kiwoo's back, who was already staring tiredly into space. "Sometimes we don't quite make it. Sunoh sometimes feels neglected." Sunoh's jealousy has already diminished, but he would like to have all of your time. "But Sunoh learns like Miga. In the beginning she didn't want to have a sibling and now she is the loveliest big sister." Jaehyun had to smile because Miga has developed so incredibly. "Do you remember when we bought such a cupcake that was colored inside what gender Sunoh will be, when I was pregnant with him?" Those times seemed so unbelievably forever ago to you. "Yes, Miga started crying because she didn't want a brother." Jaehyun had to laugh, it was all so unreal. Miga has developed so strongly in character. "At the very beginning she couldn't even bear the thought that there was another child coming. And she even hit my pregnant belly because she was so mad." You had to laugh, that was so unrealistic now. Miga was 3 years old when you were pregnant with Sunoh and she was spoiled to get all the attention. "And when you were pregnant with the twins, she was totally caring." Jaehyun looked down at Kiwoo, who was slowly closing his eyes. "And now, Sunoh and Miga are really close too. I hope the kids will always be like best friends. It would break my heart if they would fight." It was important to you that the four always have each other, that they can always rely on each other. "Yes, I wish that too." Jaehyun came with his head further down to you and he put his lips gently on yours. You kiss for a while, but then you hear a squeak. Geon was fed up and wanted to attract attention. You put your breast back into the shirt and Jaehyun looks at his son with a smile. "Well? Are you full? Did it taste good?" Geon then started laughing and it was so contagious that you both had to laugh too. You take Geon with you and you two reminisces until the last baby has fallen asleep. You lay the two on the addition of the bed, on your side and watch them. "They are so cute," you say, looking at the two. "Yes, really. I can hardly get enough of them." Jaehyun grinned and put his arm around your body. "You make really pretty babies," you say and turn to him. "I am not alone responsible for this." Jaehyun grinned and put his hand over your cheek. "But your beautiful DNA is very strong." You grin when Jaehyun was suddenly over you. "Don't act like this, without your beautiful DNA the kids wouldn't be so perfect." He was suddenly very close to you. You can feel his breath on your neck and when his moist lips touched your skin, you moan softly. His hands brushed your entire upper body until his palms were under your shirt. He took your fingers between your swollen nipples and because you were so sensitive there, your whole body twitched. Jaehyun loved it when you react that way to his touches. He pushed your shirt over your chest and kissed your roots. He pushed his right hand into your panties and began to massage your pearl. He was so gentle and loving and it was driving you crazy. You got so wet that you could hear his movements between your folds. "Mhmm, I like it when you get wet so quickly." Jaehyun grinned and pulled your panties down completely so that you were free below. Jaehyun knelt between your legs and stroked his middle while he looked at your pussy. He was hypnotized and you wonder why he was still so fascinated, after all, you've been together for 9 years. "Are you just staring or are you doing something too?" You ask with a grin. Jaehyun smiled gently, his dimples appear and he immediately pulled down his sweatpants and placed himself between your legs. He leaned down to you and buried his face in your shoulder. He slowly pushed his length into you and you two start to moan. And when he moved inside you everything was gentle and passionate. "You feel so good," he moaned and his pelvis pushed deeper into you. You look at him with big eyes and kiss him. You were so close to each other. The sex was so intimate, so full of love. But when Jaehyun turns to one side, he suddenly freezes. You hear a low sigh and you see Geon briefly open his eyes. You stop and feel caught, you didn't know what to do. But Geon closed his eyes again. Still, it felt weird to go on like this. "Come on, let's continue in the bathroom," said Jaehyun, lifted you up and carried you to the next room, where you could continue in peace.

In the morning you and Jaehyun prepare the food for the children again. Jaehyun gave Sunoh and Miga a cocoa. You carry Kiwoo in your arms while Jaehyun put Geon in the child seat. "I thought, now that Kiwoo and Geon are sleeping through the night, that we might let them sleep in their room. You usually only breastfeed them in the evening and then in the morning anyway." Jaehyun looked at you while he cut the strawberries. "Do you think this is a good idea?" You look down at Kiwoo, who is clutching you tightly. "With that addition by the bed, it is getting tight for both of them. They are constantly kicking each other because the have been grown so much. Besides, it slowly gets awkward when we next to them ... you know ... do adult things. They just notice a lot more." Jaehyun looked at you seriously and you have to agree with him. "Yeah, it don't feel right doing it beside them. We could fix the room today and try it this night." You smile and so do Jaehyun. "That sounds like a great plan." He kissed you and took the plates to serve Miga and Sunoh. "Bananas!" Sunoh started to grin and was finally happy to eat something. You had prepared a fruit platter for the children and Sunoh has been loving bananas lately. "Yes exactly, especially for you," said Jaehyun and stroked Sunoh over his hair. "I prefer strawberries," said Miga and immediately stuffed one of them into her mouth. "Good Morning!" Mia and Xiao Jun came to you and both still looked tired. "Morning! Coffee is already on the table." You point to it, but Mia came to you anyway. "Shall I take the little one from you?" She stroked Kiwoo's head gently and you hand her your boy. But he didn't liked the idea. He immediately started to cry, but not the typical cry when he was hungry or unhappy. He screamed as loudly as he could. His crying echoed across the room. "Mummy ... loud," Sunoh said, covering his ears. "Is Kiwoo sick?", Miga immediately asked her father and she was worried. You take your boy back to you immediately and he became calm again. "What was that?" Mia asked worried. She had taken care of him so many times and he had never cried like this. "Is he beginning to no longer want to see anyone else than his parents?", Jaehyun asked and looked at you in wonder. Sunoh was the same at that age as he acted like this. At 5 months this can be a typical behavior. It was worse with Sunoh because he only wanted to be with you and not even with his father. "Well then, you stay with me." You kiss Kiwoo on the tip of his nose and he laughed again. Geon meanwhile had turned his attention to something else. He held out his hands towards Miga's plate. He babbles something and Miga thought he understood what he wanted. "Daddy, can I give Geon a strawberry?" She looked intently at her father with her dark eyes. Jaehyun and you look at each other in surprise. Before that, he wasn’t interested in solid food. "Yes, try it," said Jaehyun then and Miga immediately took a piece and put it in the little hands of her little brother. Geon still had some difficulty grasping it, but Jaehyun then fed him. You are excited to see how Geon would react. But when he ate the strawberry, he began to grin and laugh. "I think he likes it," said Xiao Jun and laughed. "I think I'll cut a few for him." Jaehyun got up and went back into the kitchen. It was a really nice morning. You had so much fun watching Geon eat the strawberries. Your sister was there, everything went harmoniously between you and Jaehyun and the children were happy. But then the doorbell rang. Xiao Jun offered to open it, and in the end it was just a postman who brought something. But when he came to you with a large bouquet of red roses, you looked at each other in surprise. "Roses? Who are they for?" Mia asked, but you can already guess what happened here. Jaehyun also knew that that couldn't mean anything good. "There's a card inside ... it's for the Y/N," Xiao Jun said, but Jaehyun immediately took the card. "Can you two take care of the children for a moment?" He asked and Mia and Xiao Jun nodded. Jaehyun waved you into the living room and with Kiwoo in your arm you follow him. "It's probably from him ... isn't it?" You ask and you got nervous. "I'm afraid so. It is he who always sends you red roses." Jaehyun sighed and opens the envelope. There was a photo inside where you were eating with Doyoung. When he turned it it said "Does Jaehyun know about it?" "That idiot has no idea about our relationship." Jaehyun got incredibly angry. "He followed and monitor me." You stare at Jaehyun and you couldn't believe, that it was starting all over again. "If I only see him once, then ..." Jaehyun's chest rose and fell at a rapid pace. But the next moment your phone rang. With your free hand, you pick it up and look at the name. "Who is it?" Asked Jaehyun curiously. "Doyoung."

daddy jaehyun masterlist 

[ethrenisnotthehero]

@hogwartsmystory is a predator (part 2)

If you haven’t read the first part of the callout, I encourage you to do so here. As before, the normal tags are not included in this post in order to allow this to reach as many people as possible. Potential triggers are listed below, and the main content is hidden to keep sensitive individuals from being unintentionally exposed. TW: Pedophilia, Abuse, Gaslighting, Sexual Assault, Self Harm, Suicide, NSFW Topics, Faked Illness, Faked Mental Illness, Faked Death, Victim Blaming

Ren met Jill sometime between December of 2013 and January of 2014. At the time, he was dating another staff member of the website who will be referred to as Buttercup from now on. Jill was vulnerable in some of the most classic ways a CSA survivor often is. Her home life was chaotic and difficult. She was just finishing middle school. Depression had started to surface, and, worst of all, she had just been diagnosed with a life-altering chronic disease that would require her to change significant aspects of her daily life just to survive. She just wanted a place to fit in and be welcomed, and fell into Ren’s lures without ever considering the danger that lurked behind the screen.

Up until now, it could be understandable to argue that Ren may not have been purposely grooming young girls. Creating a mature themed website might be creepy and inappropriate, but that doesn’t necessarily make someone a predator. No, what made Ren a predator were his motives, his goals, and his solicitation of vulnerable youth into grossly exploitative relationships. What remains the most disturbing to me is that his behavior consistently fits with the profile of an egomaniac desperate to have power over someone dependent on him, fitting textbook descriptions of the methods abusers employ in order to coax their victims in and trap them there.

The Act of Grooming, Part Two: Approach

Even though common luring methods of child predators are well-known within advocate and legal communities, the average person typically has neither heard of them nor is likely to recognize them as they happen. Some behaviors attached to common lures are easily identifiable: a stranger somehow uses a young child’s name to create familiarity and abducts them, or convinces a child that there are prizes to be had if they come along. Methods like these have names, and Ren is guilty of utilizing at least four to his advantage.

The Authority Lure

When Jill first told me about her first interactions with Ren, she was quick to note how starstruck she was with that fact that he wanted to talk to her at all. “I was surprised that admins even RPed down with their peasants on this site,” she told me. Interacting with staff on the site made her feel special and seen, and Ren was quick to start chatting with her. He had a particular interest in her character. Someone of great importance and authority on the site, going out of his way to interact with her out of all people. He held power over her (over most users on the site) and that was something he was keenly aware of. More sinisterly, not only did Ren himself have power over younger users, but he increased his reach and control through the creation of alternative identities. Ren’s main identities were Aaron, Seth, Carter, and Lauren, all of whom he used to form relationships with and manipulate different individuals on the site.

Seth and Carter’s accounts have since been deleted, so unfortunately I was not able to see what kind of people Ren made them out to be. However, he clearly made users believe that these were all existing people, and used their identities to build his authority. When everyone on staff is the same person, it doesn’t leave very much room for dissent.

As for Lauren? Lauren was Ren’s real identity, and the mastermind behind all of it.

As you can see in this post, as of November 11, 2013, Ren was 17 years old. Not only that, but he was in a position of power over children in real life, too. There’s no reason that Ren would not have known better; no one in that position would be able to have a relationship with a small child as a “mistake.” Frequently, Ren claimed to be a babysitter for kids as old as 14, which means that children were fully exposed to him on all fronts. Ignorance is not a viable excuse for him; there’s no way he didn’t realize what he was doing was wrong.

A person might argue that there’s no substantial proof that these identities are fake. That would be a valid question at this point. One of Ren’s supporters (and self-proclaimed partner) has admitted themselves that these “alternate personalities” did not exist. In an attempt to explain away Ren’s toxic behaviors, they offered up a Dissociative Identity Disorder diagnosis as a defense:

However, there’s one glaring issue with this claim. According to the DSM-5 classification of mental disorders by the American Psychiatric Association, amnesia must occur for a diagnosis of DID. Amnesia is defined by the DSM-5 as gaps in the recall of everyday events, important personal information, and/or traumatic events. Ren never experienced amnesia associated with the “switch” of an alter; in fact, he claimed that he and his friends would regularly do activities together, and would even communicate back and forth online with each other during the same lengths of time on AS as he switched between accounts.

I understand that everyone has different experiences with mental illness, and that illness does not have the same symptoms for every person. Regardless, Ren was clearly aware of his actions and the way he used his other accounts to lure/hurt users. Mental illness is not an excuse for hurting children, ever. Ren knew it then, and I can guarantee you he knows it now.

The Affection Lure

Another way predators appeal to their victims is with affection. Pedophiles take advantage of rocky home situations or difficult experiences to abuse the trust a child has placed in them. Jill came to know Ren well through their role-plays. They talked often. Ren made himself available to her, gave her comfort that she desperately needed, and even offered other friends who could be an ear or a shoulder to her. When Ren learned of Jill’s chronic illness, he connected her with Seth, another of his personalities. He coaxed Jill into trusting him, and their relationship became inappropriately intense. Most children are exploited by people that are close to them, by people who they trust and rely on.

At the time, Jill may not have realized how difficult her situation was for her. To her, the chaos of her family life may have seemed normal. Having to compete with siblings and neighborhood kids may have seemed normal. Falling into severe, deep depression may have seemed normal. The truth of the situation is that a vulnerable young woman was falling through the cracks, and Ren saw an opportunity to place himself as the most important person in her life. She needed to belong, so he made sure that she felt like she belonged with him. She needed to be heard, so he made sure that she felt like he was the only one who heard her. She needed friends, so he made sure that all her friends were him. 

Not only did he use her trust in him to groom her for a relationship, but he used it to isolate her. If everyone she knew was him, then he would be the only positive feature in her life. If everyone else was an enemy, then she would have nowhere to turn to but him. If he convinced her that she was his world, and that he was hers, she would never believe anyone trying to warn her about him and his behavior. Ren took advantage of a 14 year old child’s insecurities and sickness to insert himself as the most important aspect of her life.

There’s plenty of evidence that this wasn't the first time he’d thought of something like this, either. Ren had an obsession with themes of abuse, torture, and child slavery in his stories and role-plays. Much of his content centered around taking advantage of vulnerable people.

It wasn’t just his role-play ideas that crossed the line. His behavior toward other members of the site was hair-raising at best. His supporters try to paint him as someone affectionate and well-meaning, but he had habits of talking to young users in a manner that borders on profiling.

These aren’t things that someone a few months short of their eighteenth birthday should be saying to children on the internet. His behavior also delved into the realm of victim blaming, too; when a minor on the site was posting about their father going out of his way to make custody as complicated and as disruptive as possible, Ren had this to say:

A man, who would have been 18 at the time, with the audacity to imply that a child was to blame for the controlling behavior of their father. That their father only loved them, and that they might have done something to make a grown man act like a petty child during a divorce.

Ren’s idea of love was as toxic as his need for power.

The Hero Lure

This is, perhaps, the lure that Ren is mostly guilty of. An egomaniac soothed by his own words, Ren saw himself as a hero. In his own mind, he was a faultless deity who deserved no less than the complete and undivided affections of his subjects, but who fabricated false identities at every opportunity. In Ren’s mind, he is the hero. The survivors of his abuse are turned to abusers, those who dare question him are nothing but petty liars, and anyone not completely enthralled by him is nothing but an extra in his story. That’s what Ethren was created to emulate.

Ren has not grown. Someone who has grown would take ownership of their mistakes and apologize for the pain they had caused. Someone truly sorry, truly changed, wouldn’t dare to trample on the feelings of people they had hurt. Ren is no different now than he was six years ago, when he made the decision to change Jill’s life. Instead, he’s turned a survivor into the villain of his world. Instead, he faked his own death so that he could start over with his reputation on AS intact. He never accepted what he did, and instead continues to paint Jill as someone who needed to be “fixed.”

Wanting to be with someone because it feeds a need to “fix” or “help” someone isn’t love. It’s an adult man putting the weight of the world on the shoulders of a little girl. A girl already struggling to adapt. A girl already struggling to fit in. A girl who spent her second week of high school hospitalized because of a sickness that would change her life forever. Jill is a person; she’s a person who’s had to learn to live with restrictions that mean the difference between life and death. She’s a person who’s had to walk alone through the past six years battling depression and trauma completely unheard and unseen. She’s not a character in Ren’s world. She’s not some fixation to help him feel better about himself. 

Jill is a real, living, breathing human being with thoughts and feelings and a future: a future that Ren has done him damn best to make about himself for the past six years.

Ren never wanted to help anyone. Ren needed to feel important to other people to have some kind of meaning to himself. His obsession with playing hero went so far that he would torment his victims just so that he could swoop in and be what they needed. He would pretend to be sick or injured. He would go from having a cold, to strep, to pneumonia in under a day.

He would suddenly need a nebulizer for breathing treatments for his false illnesses.

His friends and loved ones would suddenly have life-threatening medical conditions and need to be taken to the hospital.

He pretended to have cancer.

He would use his identities to threaten self harm or death. He used Seth to tell Jill that he was going to send someone to kill her, making her scared for her own life. He made her a part of a world where he was the only one who could help her to satisfy his own sick need to be the most important thing to someone else.

When life caught up to him, he pretended to die.

He knew what he was doing was wrong. He asked Jill to lie about her age and told her that if anyone ever found out about them, he would get in trouble. He used his status as her hero to solicit sexual content online. He knew her age, knew how vulnerable she was, and knew how desperately she needed to fit in. He took advantage of that to fill his own desperate need to be the hero.

The legal age where a person can consent in Jill’s country is 16. When they officially began dating, she was 14. Ren was 18. He was an adult four years older than her, who would have faced charges of child abuse in his own state for their relationship. They had a sexual relationship online, which would be equivalent to soliciting child porn in his state. She never cheated on him; he was her world, because he made every effort to make sure that he was.

She never even saw his face.

She never even knew his real name.

She grappled for years afterwards with trauma, and he wouldn’t even give her the decency of having peace when they finally split. Instead, he came here with his stories. He wrote up fantasies where he was the hero, and she was the one who abused him. Jill was still a minor at the end of her relationship. When I asked her if she’s gotten help, she didn’t think a therapist would take her seriously. Ren took her ability to trust her own voice from her. He took her ability to believe that her own problems were valid. He took six years of her life and made it hell for the sake of his own ego and vanity. Pedophiles will often lie about their age, but most of them make it clear that they’re adults. Their true age might vary by four to five years (like in Ren’s case of claiming to be 21 at 17), but they always make it very clear that they’re adults. Predators know what they’re doing. They’re master manipulators. They’re adept at communication. They seem innocent on the surface, until everything they’ve done is laid out where it can be seen for what it is. Predators rely on persuasion, not coercion (Abrams 2016).

Someone I know asked me if I ever considered, even briefly, that Jill wasn’t telling the truth. I answered back without hesitation that I never did, not even once, because I hadn’t even touched one of the most important parts of my research.

Like other predators, Ren had a type. Buttercup was his first victim. When she and Ren met she was only 13-- Just like Jill.

Continue to Part 3

[spectorbarnes]

If You Leave Me Now | Part 11

Summary: You realized your marriage with your husband Henry had run its course when you discovered his affair. You wanted to leave him but not without giving Henry a little taste of his own medicine involving his preferred mechanic Sebastian.

Pairings: mechanic!sebastian stan x reader, husband!henry cavill x reader

masterlist

A/N: I FINALLY UPDATED THIS! I know. Thank you all for being so patient, I love you all!

The sun shined on a new day that started with the Cavill family throwing a cook-out party. Henry’s siblings bonded over a playful game of rugby in the back yard with the kids running around their fathers and uncles trying to play. You could see the game from the kitchen where you helped out your lovely mother-in-law with a traditional Trifle. 

Outside Henry crouched to meet his younger nephew at eye level and grinned before he playfully attacked him with tickles until he released his grip on the ball.

“Could you please pass the berries, hon?” Henry’s mother asked you. Startled, you reached for the bowl and handed it over. 

“Of course,” you smiled. You continued to slice strawberries, occasionally returning your gaze at Henry. 

“He’s a natural father isn’t he?” 

“What?” You asked, caught by surprise. Henry’s mother gave you an apologetic smile.

“Sorry, darling. Henry told me you two are trying to have a child.”

“We are,” you did your best to fake a smile. She wrapped her arms around you.

“You’re going to be great parents!” She squeezed you tightly. You felt her small arms around you. Her reaction might have been a little overboard, it was almost as if you told her you were pregnant. Which made you scan the room to see if anyone was nearby.

Henry walked in the kitchen with his niece in his arms and his nephew trailing behind. He raised an eyebrow at the sight of you and his mother embracing in the middle of the kitchen. 

You shook your head at him and mouthed, “We’re fine”.

“Uncle Henry! Pick me up too!” The small child tugged on the bottom of his shirt.

His mother pulled away from you, realizing Henry was in the room. She held her hand out, signaling him to join you. 

Henry swooped him up with his free arm and walked over to join you both. You took your niece from his arms to ease up the load. 

“Mom,” Henry wrapped his arm around her. You turned to see Henry’s mom wiping tears from her face. 

“I’m just so happy you two found each other.” She sniffed.

You exchanged a glance with Henry. In the moment you looked into Henry’s eyes, you couldn’t understand why you felt so comfortable like home. 

It was like meeting Henry for the first time a few years ago. You didn’t want to open up your heart to another man after the last one had ripped it to pieces. But Henry was there, waiting for you to let him in. To let him love you the way you deserved. 

If someone had told you, you would marry the man 

It all felt natural. 

But of course, you were falling in love with Henry all over again. 

━━━━━━━━

It was early morning, after a typical Saturday night of Chris and a few old college friends who bar hopped around the city for a few good laughs and drinks. 

This time, however, Chris wasn’t laughing and was completely sober.

There were a few times in the past when he invited his roommate to join him and his buddies. Of course it wasn’t his roommate’s ideal night. He preferred working extra hours or ordering delivery at home, but being the responsible roommate and friend he was, he also preferred being the designated driver of a couple drunken Bostonians. 

Tonight the roles changed. Sebastian was the one drinking the night away. Chris’ friends had never seen this side of Sebastian, and neither did Chris, but the last couple of days, Sebastian drank alcohol as if it were warm milk. 

Chris knew what the reason was behind the drinking. Correction, he knew who was the reason.

“Another round!” Sebastian slammed the empty bottle on the edge of the pool table. Chris’s friends cheered.

Chris hated his friends for encouraging the behavior as much as he hated Sebastian accepting their invitation. 

Initially, Chris turned his friends down, thinking Sebastian would not dare to join them without their mutual friend. But after Chris saw Sebastian grab his jacket and wallet, Chris knew he had to join and keep an eye on him. 

Sebastian didn’t want to be alone with his thoughts because he would think of you. And when he thought of you he knew you were in England with Henry doing what wife and husband do.

Alcohol numbed his body and his mind. He didn’t want to be thinking about Henry’s hands on you, touching you, pleasing you in ways that couldn’t compare to him. 

To Sebastian, letting you in his life might have been a big mistake, but it was a glorious mistake. There would be nights where he would make you his but you could never really be his.

“Alright, that’s enough.” Chris grabbed the beer bottle Sebastian had in his hand and took it from him before he took another sip. “I’m taking you home.”

“I’m fine here. You can leave, you’re killing the mood anyways.” Sebastian struggled to move his lips.

“Look at yourself, you’re slurring your words and you can’t even stand up,” Chris said. Sebastian looked down, realizing he had been leaning his whole body against the pool table.

“We’re getting the fuck out of here, now.” Chris signaled his friends from across the room. He then grabbed Sebastian’s arm and put it around his neck, carrying him out of the bar.

Chris reached his car, sat him down on the passenger seat and buckled him in before walking around and getting in the driver’s seat.

He had to figure out a way to save his friend, figure out a way to have him get over you and move on with his life.

Chris turned the key in the ignition and the engine roared. Sebastian looked over at Chris’s worried face as his eyelids fluttered. He needed to say something before he could no longer keep his eyes from closing.

“Chris, I’m sorry.’” He muttered.

“I’m sorry too, Seb.”

━━━━━━━━

You entered the walk-in the closet, stripping out of your day clothes and changing into your silk pajamas for the night. 

Henry was shirtless, tucked in bed watching you change from the half-open door. You walked out of the closet, catching his stare.

“You know, today reminded me of the first time I brought you home to meet them,” Henry said. 

“How so?” You asked, walking around the bed to reach your side.

“My mom loved you before you even met her. She had a good feeling about you and you were both really close when you met. Your friendship felt natural.” He said. You gave Henry a smile. “But, you were just as nervous as that first time. Why?”

He was right. Henry could read you like a book, he might be wrong at times but you were just as nervous visiting his family as the first time.

“All this baby talk has been getting to my head.” You lied, climbing in the bed. 

Your thoughts revolved around Sebastian ignoring your phone calls throughout most of the Europe trip. Seeing Henry’s family reminded you of what you did, of course your husband was no victim because he too cheated on you. However, you felt your guilt weigh more than Henry’s did.

“They would be more than happy to be grandparents again,” Henry responded. “Especially from me, since I am my mother’s favorite.” He joked.

Henry rolled over to his side, bending his arm to hold his head up. You waited for him to say something. There were a few silent moments in between your gazes before he called you by your full name. 

“Yes?” You muttered. He lifted the bed covers from your bodies before rolling over you, spreading your legs apart to fit between them and press his upper torso against your stomach.

He continued to speak while looking into your eyes.

The first words were strange yet familiar, your eyebrows furrowed until you realized he was reciting his written wedding vows.

“What are you-?” You pondered, Henry interrupted with something you never thought you would hear.

“I’m sorry,” He said. “I’m sorry for what I’ve done.” Your eyes widened, realizing Henry might be coming clean.

“What have you done?” You asked. 

“I’ve hurt you,” He started. “I’ve been distant, focusing more on work rather than focusing on you, my wife.”

“And?” You asked, waiting for him to continue.

“I’m sorry.” Henry said. You closed your eyes in defeat. “This trip is a clean slate,” he continued, “I’m going to be the husband you deserve from now on. The husband I should have been for a while now. Every mistake I’ve made is done with.”

You opened your eyes to see him and his serious facial expression.

Of course, Henry was talking about his affair. He just couldn’t come clean and say it out loud. He didn’t think you knew about it, and he didn’t want you to find out because once you did he knew he would lose you. But he was serious about it. He didn’t want anything to do with his now ex-lover. 

You thought he meant the affair, but it was hard to tell. Henry was a businessman, of course he knew how to deal with people without fully telling the truth but not lying about it either. 

“It’s a clean slate for both of us, any mistakes you might have made are included too.”

Your heart stopped. Did he know about Sebastian?

Henry pressed his lips against yours, giving you a soft, tender kiss. His mouth traveled along your jaw and down the valley of your chest. His hands grabbing your silk gown before pushing it up your body. 

“Henry,” You had to get clarification.

“Shh.” He continued to kiss your body, touching your breasts as he traveled further down your body. His fingers found your silk shorts, shoving them down your pants before teasing your center through your panties.

Your hips jolted, getting closer to his touch. You felt his lips form into a grin on your navel as he lightly grazed his teeth against your skin.

He pushed your panties to the side and inserted a finger, pumping it in and out of you. You slid down the pile of pillows behind you and arched your back when he added a second finger. 

You couldn’t believe you wanted him and you wanted him badly. Words of encouragement slipped out of his lips, making you bite your bottom lip in order to stop sounds from escaping you.

“Don’t hold back,” he ordered. “We’re the only ones in this house and the nearest neighbors are kilometres away.”

You let a moan of pleasure escape you, followed by an even louder one when Henry’s member entered you. He slowly pumped in and out of you, you preferred a quicker pace but Henry insisted it felt better when you got to enjoy every inch. Your nails scratched his back as you begged him not to stop. 

Henry looked down at your blissed face, remembering how similar your current reaction was on your first night. Henry was your first. He remembered how he found your innocence endearing. 

You placed his hands on his chest, nudging him you were close, he leaned down to whisper in your ear and with one, four-letter word you were gone.

Henry wasn’t far behind, filling you up as you came down from your high. His body fell, exhausted from keeping himself from ramming into you.

If this worked out, he would want to remember the night he conceived his child as a slow night of love making instead of ravenous sex. He pulled out of you, wrapping his arms around you and pulled you against his chest.

The last thing you heard before falling into sleep was Henry muttering how much he loved you. You tried to mutter it back, although he didn’t hear it completely, he knew what you meant. He spent the next few hours watching you sleep. Which was later interrupted by your phone ringing in the morning. Chris’s name popped up on the screen. 

Henry picked up the phone, squinting at the name on the screen. He couldn’t remember a Chris from anywhere. He declined the phone call sending it to voice mail, then deleting the incoming call from the call history.

“Clean slate,” He muttered to himself, “Clean slate.”

[idkwhoiamanymorebutwtf]

Imma analyze Amity's diary entries now even though Lost In Language was like ten episodes ago. I was just rewatching it and wanted to share my analysis on what Amity's written

"I saw that human girl again. I may have...overreacted. I don't wanna come across as cruel, I just can't show weakness!"

Okay, let's start here. I think the most interesting part of this is actually her line about now showing weakness. I mean we could focus on the fact that she regrets being so harsh on Luz, but we all know she's a good person by now who doesn't want to be cruel and hurt people. That's no secret. What I find interesting is the reason Amity was so hostile, bordering on cruel. Because she can't show weakness. Nowadays I see people assuming this line might be in reference to her cruch on Luz. She can't show how soft Luz really makes her, you know? But that doesn't make sense because at the time Amity didn't like Luz. Any positive feelings that Amity has for Luz started developing at the end of Lost In Language. I think the emotion she's trying not to express as not to look weak is sadness and hurt. As ive said before, Luz humiliated and upset Amity during their first two meetings. Like, from episode 3 where Willow and Luz cheat in class, we see their actions have consequences. They hurt people. Amity in specific. And that was her first impression of Luz. A cheater. A liar. Somebody willing to let Amity get in trouble or be called jealous and vindictive before she's willing to admit she cheated. And Luz once again humiliated her in episode 5. And again in episode 7 when Luz was hanging out with Amity's cruel older siblings and seemingly going through her diary. Amity fully thought Luz was humiliating her on purpose. Getting her in trouble on purpose. Trying to get closer to her just so she could toy with her. Amity thought Luz was trying to be cruel when Luz hurt her because she never ever met someone who just...did dumb things sometimes without thinking. With her parents and siblings and friends, any hurtful action was meant to be hurtful. Why would she assume that when Luz hurt her it was any different? Luz was anxious around Luz because "every time you get near me I get in trouble!" And she was still hurt from what Luz had done in the past. I think that's the weakness she didn't wanna show. Amity doesn't like being cruel, even to people she think deserve it, but I think her coldness towards Luz in particular was a defense strategy. She was sad and anxious and hurt and embarassed, but those emotions are all weak. They make her look and feel helpless. Anger isn't weak though, so maybe if she's rude and cold towards Luz instead of being hurt and humiliated in frint of Luz she won't look so pathetic. Because Blight's don't show weakness.

"It's not fair! I'm the only one who knows Ed and Em aren't perfect! Why do they keep getting away with things?!?"z

This reveals a little bit more about their general family dynamic. Because we know now that Edric and Emira don't get in trouble very often. That people seemingly think the two are 'perfect'. This probably includes their parents. If Ed and Em really keep getting away with everything (and we know they're big trouble makers) from their parents who we know abuse Amity, then that explains a lot about the dynamic between the Blight siblings. Why Ed and Em think it's okay to make fun of and humiliate and hurt Amity with little to no remorse. Because Edric and Emira have been taught to believe Amity somehow deserves to be treated poorly. That somehow the two of them are above Amity. Because when abusive parents pick a favorite child, then it isn't hard to play siblings against each other. To get their favorites to follow in their footsteps and participate in abusing the 'lesser' child. Which seems like exactly what's happening here. I mean, Edric and Emira's excuses of "It's tough love" and "We're doing this to help Amity" and "This is for her own good" when they were trying to get ahold of Amity's diary sounded like they were taken right out of the mouths of abusive gaslighting parents. Edric and Emira can skip class and vandalize library property without fear of repercautions. Amity goes into a panic over the tiniest mistakes and visibly flinched when people raise their voices at her. This line in her diary kinda confirmed what id already been suspecting from Ed and Em's disregard for Amity's feelings.

"I wish I had somewhere to go.."

This one was interesting to me. Because it can be taken in a few ways. Obviously this "somewhere to go" would be an attempt to escape her horrible home life. The question is weather she means somewhere to go temporarily away from the eyes of her family, or if she wants to run away from home or something of the sort but doesn't have anywhere to run to. And I can't help leaning towards the latter. It would be a little weird for Amity to wish for a place that's all her own to go temporarily when she already has her library hangout. I mean, it seems like she has been hanging out im her library room for a while, and nobody in her family hang out in the library like she does, so Amity does have somewhere to go in that sense already. However Amity didn't, at the time, have anywhere to go if she tried to escape her parents abuse permenantly. All her friends at the time she'd met through her parents so there's no way they would have helped her, Amity's parents had already burned her ties with the only friend who didn't have any loyalty to them and might have been willing to help Amity (Willow), and Amity wasn't very close to Luz at the time. Amity is definately a victim of abuse. It wouldn't surprise me if she wanted out but was being held back by how her parents isolated her to where she only knew people who support her abusive parents.

"Why won't the human leave me alone?!?"

At first I thought Amity was annoyed that Luz wanted to be friends with her. After all, we saw Luz trying and failing to befriend Amity earlier that episode, right? But this entry was almost certainly written before Lost In Language. And before Lost In Language, Luz didn't really try to befriend Amity. This is probably about how Amity thought Luz was a bully. As I mentioned earlier in the post, Amity thought Luz hurt and humiliated her on purpose. Thought Luz was going out of her way to toy with Amity. The thing that lead Amity to dislike Luz was that she thought Luz was dishonest and unremorseful. Amity's had enough of people who are dishonest and unremorseful. Her parents, siblings, and so called friends are all those things. And at first she must have thought Luz was just like them. Luz hurt Amity, Luz lied in how she represented herself, Luz didn't officially apologize until after this diary entry will have been made. And Amity must have been so done with that kind of thing. With lies and unapologetic attitudes. With bullies. And she thought Luz was a bully. I feel like that's the reason she really wanted Luz to just leave her alone. After all, earlier in the episode she said "Every time you come near me I get in trouble! Just leave me alone!", which reminds me a lot of her diary entry also showing a desire for Luz to leave her be.

"I called my teacher mom again..."

Honestly, while Amity calling her teacher mom doesn't seem like anything noteworthy on the surface, I would say it is important. Because for starters, Amity is a bit old to make this mistake. Little kids will sometimes call their teacher mom once or twice by mistake because they're used to the person taking care of them being their mother so sometimes without thinking they'll call their caretaker mom. However ive never heard of a highschooler, a child in the age range where they're less dependent on their parents than little kids are and less likely to see all caretakers as parental figures, call their teacher mom. Much less do it multiple times. And I can't help but wonder if this might be caused by the fact that her parents are the worst, forcing Amity to cling onto her teachers for the praise and support her parents don't give her. She's being abused by her parents, of course she'd grab onto her teachers to be parental figures because they're the only adults she has that don't hurt her. Because fourteen year olds don't usually get into the habit of calling their teachers mom and the fact that Amity has might be a sign of just how wrong things are at home.

"Sorry I haven't written for a while. Wait! Why am I apologizing?"

I mean, honestly, apologizing when you didn't do anything wrong is classic abuse victim behavior. And it is incredibly in character for Amity. She seems to have this perpetual sense of guilt over just...being human (metaphorically, she's a witch, not a human). Over any emotions or the smallest mistakes. It's pretty obvious that someone has made Amity to always feel guilty. Like she's doing something wrong or not doing enough right. To the point where not writing in her diary for a while is something she instinctively apologized for. It's kinds just...classic abuse victim behavior, typical of someone with a lot of self loathing, and makes me wanna punt her parents even more because I habe the feeling they're behind that tendancy.