#but it feels like the sort of thing where it Wasnt A Coincidence

[itsbebebe]

Its so interesting to me that iirc elq was the first to buzz in on the "how will u deal with the code monster" question in the 2nd debates, especially since hes linked to the federation but also because the sky changed when he left the debates. Theres a lot to read into there and i dont think many have tried to

[evil-no-good-overlord-jojo]

I was rereading chapter 8 of Paranatural, so time for some deranged theory crafting.

Fauxbia, Phantomime, and Sockpuppy are all fragments of the same spirit.

Let's start with establishing some facts.

-Davy Jones's sword/hook has the power to split things into constituent parts. By turning Riptide into a grudge, he powered her up so she'd be able to apply this power to Wights, turning them into far weaker spirits. -Spirits born from this effect have "fragments" of the Wight's original power, and look similar, as if related. We know this thanks to the Sphynx Litter, who were all born from the Great Sphynx. -Of note, the powers of the shards don't necessarely add up to the Wight's power when brought together, they merely keep the same loose theme. We know that according to Cherub, the Great Sphynx's power allowed her to command anyone and anything who could hear her words, giving unbreakable orders.

Of the two Sphynxes we've seen, Truth passively compels anyone to speak unbreakable truth, including herself, and Games/Rules makes rules into laws of reality. While similar in theme ( words turning into unbreakable laws), adding these two powers together with other similar-ish powers wouldnt exactly result into the Great Sphynx reborn anew.

Therefore, the qualifiers for "fragments of a spirit that was split" are as follows : -powers must be similar, derived from the same concept

-designs have to be similar.

Now, let's get into what made me start crafting this theory. The latest page. Where the name of Fauxbia's ability is revealed.

Uh, that seems familiar. Where have i seen this before ?

It doesn't seem like a coincidence that Phantomime and Fauxbia's powers have their names called out in universe before they activate their abilities, AND they just so happen to be similar. It doesnt seem like a coincidence that both their designs feature strings and a large number of hands. It doesn't seem like a coincidence that theyre both themed around theater and puppets.

Not to mention, "can copy abilities if feared", and "can copy abilities if trusted" are very similar in and of themselves. Up until this page, I chalked it up to this chapter being focused on mimics (Cherub, Fauxbia, Phantomime, Razor Rex), but with this idea in mind, one of Fauxbia's earlier thought makes more sense :

"Why should he fear the sundered scraps of one's abandoned aspirations ?"

In my opinion, the original spirit was trying to become one of the Great Wights, by using its power. I wouldn't be surprised if rather than a power copier, it was a power thief, being able to permanently rob a spirit of its power if it met the activation condition of its ability, whatever it was. This is pure speculation on my part, thought.

With that in mind, I went looking for other characters that might fit "copycat with a theather / puppet theme". And well,

This one is a bit more of a stretch, but come on. His design is very similar in theme to Fauxbia's, he has pink spectral energy like Phantomime, and he's called out as an "anomalous spectral lifeform" which I feel like a shard of a split spirit would count as such. The fact that both he and Phantomime shares a color also gives weight to the idea the original spirit they were born from wasnt yet a Wight, otherwise I feel like the fragments would all have different colors, like the Sphynxes.

It is also my personal belief that Mina Zarei used Sockpuppy as a sort of base for her artificial "control things" spirits, due to the Witch's thought on the split Hijack.

All seems to point in the direction of these three being related. And I think that this all comes back to

The Witch is very, very close to her endgame.

[phanyu]

Not to be overly negative, but I actually feel like it's the opposite of a wedding or a hard launch. I get the feeling they're setting us up for a bait and switch the same way they (sort of) did with ii. They lured us in with the promise of "giving the people what they want", just so they could get us all in a room and make us take a hard look at ourselves and our behavior. II wasn't very successful at this because it was all over the place, but maybe they'll actually be able to make a coherent point with TIT.

hmmm this is interesting! i dont think im totally on the same page though because the whole marriage breadcrumbs thing is sort of, by nature, built upon plausible deniability? if you told anyone who doesnt keep up with dnp about all the little marriage coincidences (and i have) and what you think they mean theyd look at you like you were crazy lol (and they did). it's sort of different to, for example, the tour breadcrumbing where they were directly saying they have something in the works, and at the same time making wink wink nudge nudges to their past/possible future tours. and like you mentioned with ii, "giving the people what they want" was literally the shows tagline, even if the way it was implemented wasnt quite as generous as it sounds. the phweddingspiracy though sort of reminds me of when they look back at their old content and are like "oh we were soft launching the gay there". it's a very consciously lowkey reference that they KNOW their casual audience will brush over, can be taken as clearly a joke if need be, but they know their dedicated fans will pick up on as a pattern because thats the way theyve always done this back and forth communication thing.

also i dont think theyre going to tread the same ground as ii thematically in fact i think it's sort of the opposite perspective on it? by which i mean. this is sort of how im reading it:

tatinof: hahah, we are your dolls, play with us! lets make stories!

ii: we are dolls to you but how can we make YOU feel about that?

tit: we are your dolls but how do WE feel about that?

[thatfuzzyfamiliarspace]

I actually feel like my brain is working. That I’m really being functional. I’m able to articulate things so much better than normal. I just made a little voice note on the stuff he said about the other day about the cost he comes at. I feel like i’d acc be able to have a proper face to face conversation and it be beneficial. I want to have it later with him, I’m just slightly concern on his response. Because if he just dismisses me completely and offers no agreements on any compromises then it’ll just fuck with me. It’ll drag me out of this good mood and mindset I know it would. Everything is going as it “should” nothing is “going wrong” so its like this high of having convenient coincidences where life is just flowing along as I would want. As long as that flow doesn't get interrupted then I ~should~ be able to stay up up up. God I wanna stay like this. It feels so unfair that other people are just like this all of the time. I have to just wait for my brain to make the right chemicals. Maybe Monday was the kick starter, I really hope it was. To feel like I have any sort of influence in me being able to feel like this would be astronomical. He says I need to give myself credit, I just dont wanna give myself false hope. Coz am I happy or is it just the mask ? Am I just suppressing everything at the moment? Just because my brian goes brr finally I feel like I turn away from everything else. Its not until something is so glarringly in my head that I start to tip and fall down. Like this morning was ever so slightly faltering when he said I didnt send him those videos. I felt like I couldve dropped. But I had to brush it off, I just had to force myself to believe it wasnt a mistake, but the right decision on my part because I was so tired last night. I don’t feel like he was saying that comment this morning in a disappointing tone, it was more of just a sly jokey comment (I think .. well I need to think that). Either way, I’m good rn and I just want things to carry on being good. Its lunch in 15 mins. Then I just have the afternoon to get through. Today really is going so slow so I just hope it picks up. I just want to get to the gym and get home. I miss him so god damn much. 

[midnightmisadventures]

HAHAHA guys im LIVINGGGGG I got my alpha dream lmaoooo

I honestly am dying like what a funny life to live. I-, as you all know i got drunk and followed alpha last night. Put his government on the TL like an idiot.

Earlier today he accepted me and followed me back and it....was overall underwhelming. Which duh it should be, I DONT HAVE ANY FEELINGS FOR ALPHA. Like not even sexual at this point idk...like its not there. But the biggest thing is that, fucking mk, lenina crowne herself was all over the page. I was like fuck, the reason this was supposed to be fun and silly was that i thought he was single. Like i had no idea they were STILL together are you kidding me?

And yea here I am scrolling through pics of them being hot and intensely making out and being the barbie and ken we all remember them to be. And nothing. No emotion, no stomach drops. Happy 4 them! Hope they are great lmao. Its so crazy how a pic of them on my timeline 5 years ago today would make me sob. But i was like, im cured yall

From september 4, 2018 to today. I finally did it, not you not ever. I mean talk about detaching.

Anyways, it was whatever, now we follow eachother. We'll see if he unfollows after he jerks off like last time. But i take a midday nap, and i get my FUCKING alpha dream bitches. Uni said ask and u shall recieveeeeeeee hahaha im so weak.

It was a classic chip party. All of florida was there, extended family, lots of dogs. In my dreams lately ive been like "late" to get ready. Like people are arriving and im like omg, i need to change into my outfit, my hairs a mess, give me 15mins. So that was sort of happening here. Guests were arriving and I was trying to run upstairs before people saw me. And.....apparently i invited alpha?? for line fun?? but i didnt think he would come and also no other of my friends or like people my age or from highschool showed up. Like it was supposed to be like a throw away invite for the drama and ehhh if he shows up he can talk to other people he knows. But i NEVER expected him to show up and i DIDNT think no one else would be there??

But it wasnt awkward that....more of my friends werent there. Like it wasnt like "ha ha ur a loser" embarrassing. Alpha was chillin, the big deal was that we hadnt seen eachother in forever, and now he was in my house and he was just making me nervous like i didnt wanna talk to him.

So , lots was going on. Also he brought lenina? So again, wasnt super weird but i just all in all didnt feel like talking to Alpha and lenina haha sue me. But whatever, suddenly i start seeing him make eye contact with me and rounding corners like looking at me, and no lenina. So im like....okay idk where the gf is but he's obviously trying to....give looks, as me 5 yrs ago would say. And i was like okay well, i am the only one here who is his age and not my family i should probably talk to him since i invited him.

So i was in the pantry in the chip kitchen and he just comes to the side of the table and just sits down legs spread, facing me not saying anything. Black tshirt.....most likely grey sweats. Which isnt a coincidence that hyfr was wearing that too but i'll get to that.

So i was like, ugh i have to bite the bullet and talk to him, and i still wasnt dressed. But he was sitting right next to me on purpose, so im like in the pantry, and i look over like "hey alpha, w-whats whats up?" like STUTTERING i literally hated myself for being nervous but he was making me nervous lmao. Like ahh stop.

I was like "how have you been??" like genuinely acknowledging that i havent seen him in forever and i have no idea what he's been up to. And he was being very alpha and coy and sly smiled, but then he opened his mouth lmaooo.

Tell me how this man says, "honestly i've just been pretty stoned a lot"

UHHMMM WHAT. Tell me whats weirder, hyfr trying to convince me via dream that he's into big brother or alpha via dream trying to convince me he's a STONER. Like the walking tight assed ken doll. Mr, "thats pretty bad" smoking weed aLL tHe TiMe like bull shit, Liam you keep slipping up that its just actually you.

Its so funny to me, that Liam is impersonating all of my exes via dream and doesnt actually know anything about them....so he's filling the blanks, but in doing so he exposes himself. Cause MAYBE i can believe that hyfr is like?? into bb? but no one is gonna convince me that alpha is some heavy stoner. Also the black tee and grey sweats is the last thing i saw Liam in so its absolutely not a coincidence.

Anyway, rightfully so i'm like "wait reallllyyyyyyyyy" like kinda turned on haha i was so shocked but i was like okayyy alpha the stoner like lets go smoke babe thats hot. And i was so shocked so i started asking like "did you smoke in high school or did u start after highschool?" basically like tell me more. And he started trying to explain, and i dropped what i was doing in the pantry and gave him my full attention and we were sorta being flirty, but he kept trying t talk, but over in the den my dad and erikka were having this deep discussion and i was overhearing it, and they were talking about eating, and ed, and stuff that couldve easily been directed to me but i was like so confused like is erikka having eating issues? so i kept trying to eavesdrop and was getting distracted.

And then i would turn back to alpha and be like "im so sorry can you say that again, i was distracted by my sister" and he'd be like "yea so..." and start talking again. By the way he's sitting on a stool and im in front of him, but over and over i kept getting distracted about what erikka and dad were talking about. Like they were talking about how much she was eating in a day and what her appetite was like, and i mean obv that relates to me in someway so idk.

But....somehow, alpha also overheard and was like wait maybe i shouldnt be talking about how much weed i smoke/you smoke in front of your dad and your sister bc that plays into appetite and i gues he was trying to be sensitive but also in a silly way so he was like "nevermind, i should have never brought it up"

and i was like "no no no lmao you can keep going" and we were giggling. and he was just like "no, it seems like a touchy subject i wont-"

So then i was laughing, so i playfully touched his arm with my shoulder and it wasnt a big deal but i felt him flinch like- uhhh woops dont do that. Like he didnt say anything but i felt him flinch a little. And i was thinking in my head like.....is it bc he has a gf i didnt think that was that weird.

So then im like leaving upstairs to go get ready and im like "okay okay alpha we're continuing this conversation later, im serious, im gonna come find you in a few and we're talking about this" like being jokey and cute and he was like "uh huh okay lol"

And i ran upstairs to get ready.

[spaceyflowerswriting]

Hi it’s me again ❤️ your work gives me so much dopamine!!! I keep getting random burst of ideas. DG/James Lee with an average reader? Like everything about them just screams average? Any oneshots or headcanons? Thank you ❤️ hahah you make me wanna write again 🥹

more than that (james lee x reader)

details: fluffy oneshot but mildly angsty (reader pov; has insecurities about being average), gender neutral reader but written in 2nd pov, general canon au, you and james are friends

warning: repeating; reader is written to have insecurities about being average!! please dont read this if things like that can trigger u T_T

summary: james gives you reassurance about how you're more than how "average" you appear.

a/n: hehe hello again, thanks for another request ^_^ decided to write a oneshot since i wrote headcanons for ur last request 💪 (also i know reader having insecurities wasnt part of the request but i hope its ok that i added it;;!)

and im so glad my writing inspires u !! ;_; i'd love to read the stuff you write if ur okay with sharing it but if not thats fine! as long as u write something u like <33

×

Was it pure coincidence, or some greater force acting that caused the two of you to meet? Either way, James was grateful to have met you.

You made him realize a loneliness he didn't even know he had. The little gaps you filled, he wanted more and more and it felt like he could never have enough. It didn't take long for him to conclude what he felt for you had been romantic for some time.

He didn't care if the people around him gave him weird looks. They wouldn't understand if they refused to look past your appearance--which, honestly, was something he never even thought about much. Sure, the first time he looked at you, he thought you seemed like an average person, but who was he to judge? He'd seen all sorts of people in his days, and there were plenty of surprises.

Hell, even that kind of wimpy kid that's been running around was full of surprises. Daniel, was it?

Anyways, he didn't care about how average you were. You still shined in your own special way.

Like when you sang karaoke with him, he didn't pay attention to your singing skills. You looked like you were having fun and that was enough for him. The way you laughed afterwards out of embarrassment was beyond adorable, stumbling over yourself as you apologized for not being the best at singing.

Or when the two of you decided to make lunch together and you burned a few things, he didn't pay attention to that, either. Instead, his focus was on how earnest you had been in the conversation taking place during the cooking. He learned a lot about who you were as a person that afternoon.

And the food you made for him was as average as you said it would be, but again, it didn't bother him. The effort was there, and he could appreciate that.

The point was, you were kind and genuine, and he was madly in love. How were you not taken yet?

Ah, whatever, it gave James a chance. Hell would freeze over before he missed it.

~

"Sorry--"

"You're fine," James reassured, eyes squishing into pretty moons as he smiled at you.

You just chuckled nervously, looking away from his handsome face while he finished up applying the bandaid on your finger.

"There we go." He hummed as he let your hand go and you brought it closer to your face to examine it for no reason in particular.

"Thanks."

"No problem." As you rested your hands in your lap, James turned back to the cloth on the table. He picked it back up alongside his needle and began right where he left off before attending to your minor injury.

You shifted a bit in your seat next to him, frowning a bit. Your eyes glanced back and forth at the progress of your embroidery compared to his.

Earlier he had suggested you both try embroidery to experience something new and you agreed. Almost anything done with him was fun or at least peaceful, and this time it wasn't any different. The thing was your feelings of being average were beginning to claw away at you again.

Feeling inferior to James wasn't it--you wouldn't even dare seriously compare yourself to this man of talents--you just... felt bad about yourself. Though you were mostly fine accepting and knowing you were average nowadays, you still had the longing hope that maybe, just maybe you'd find something you excelled at. But you never did.

Average as always.

"Sorry." The word came out before you could stop yourself.

"Hm?" James paused to look at you.

"I... uh." You scrambled to avoid putting the pity party you were having in words and randomly grabbed the needle you accidentally poked yourself with earlier. "Nothing. It's nothing." You picked up your piece of cloth next and flashed him an awkward smile.

"...Alright. No pressure." His soft tone had you almost confess what was running through your mind but you decided not to. He went back to continue his embroidery, and you continued yours.

After a while, you got a little lost and ended up asking him for help. He kindly responded, and despite that easing you a bit, your insecurities still clawed away. This time, you couldn't stop yourself as an apology spilled from your lips.

"Apologizing again?" He had a teasing tone, which made you smile slightly.

You let out a quiet laugh. "I know. It's just..." You gulped. "I feel bad asking for help so much. And for accidentally stabbing myself with the needle earlier. And having you patch it up. And being really, really average. At everything. I wish I--"

"Hey." James sternly cut you off, setting down the cloth and needle in his hands. "You don't have to be sorry for any of that. And I wanted to patch up your hand. Don't feel bad for that, either."

"Thanks," you murmured. "I mean, I really do appreciate your words, James, but... nevermind, I don't know where I'm going with this." You nibbled on your lip in silence, beginning to grow embarrassed. It caused you to break eye contact with James.

He placed a hand on your shoulder. "You know, I don't care about how average you are."

You jerked your head to look back at him, eyes widening at his bluntness.

There was a gentle smile on his face. "It wouldn't even matter to me if you were terrible at everything you did, either. I just like that you're you, having fun, and spending time with me."

"Really...?"

"Really. There's so much more to you than what you're good at, you know. Or how you look, if you're worried about how you may appear 'average' on the beauty scale. So, don't worry, there'll always be plenty of things to like about you." He gestured to himself with his free hand. "There's certainly plenty of things that I like you for. Your personality and cute looks are just the tip of the iceberg."

Butterflies fluttered in your stomach at his words.

"Don't let your average-ness define you, okay?"

"Yeah, you're right." You nodded stiffly. Asking him to clarify himself was on the tip of your tongue but you held it back in case you were misinterpreting his words. It wasn't the first time he had sounded mildly flirty with you, but--wait.

"Good. So no more of that, you hear? I want you to be nice to yourself. If you can't, I'll make you start doing that cheesy '3 things I like about myself' exercise everyday."

His joke lightened the mood but did little to distract you from your sudden realization. Flustered, you still managed to joke back with, "Bet," and he quipped, "Looking forward to tomorrow, then."

Conversation picked up from there.

For the rest of the night, you pondered about just how much of his feelings were platonic towards you.

~

Another day.

Confessing to someone after they vent wouldn't be appropriate, after all.

For now, James would indulge himself in teasing you with hints.

[slothcapsule]

Curious for your YouTube algorithm thoughts

THANK YOU RANDOM CITIZEN OK SO this is gonna be messy asf bc im on phone but i need it out there so. im gonna talk about just like Dream specifically because yes. this is gonna be a long post you can skip past it

so like the thing is about dream blowing up so quickly is that he knew and was confident that he was in fact going to blow up and he talks about it as a matter of fact like, he even said he told Sapnap and George to come along with him like he was confident that its gonna happen and 1. we love us a cocky man and 2. i wanted to know why so i went through his channel and old videos and i cannot stress how perfectly he executed manipulating the YouTube algorithm in his favour.

Most of it wasn't really luck, but there did have to be a certain point of skills for him to gain as much attention as he did, like obviously being cracked at the game but also being charismatic, he has an easy good personality and him being at something that so many people love was such a good set up like. minecraft was the perfect base for him to gain attention because it has such a wide audience and so many people love interacting with any of its content, its practically too easy. so its not really luck, just a happy coincidence.

That's the setup, just Minecraft and then we have the first few videos on his channel which are again- perfect for people to find his channel, and i like to imagine he had sort of a set plan before he started his channel of what he's gonna do, probably long the lines of something like this:

short videos that draw people to watch them in like 4am when theyre bored - clickbait someone everyone knows (in his case pewdiepie) those will make people discover his channel and gain him a lot of views because people are going to want to figure out what seed he used and they'd be curious about that, and some people would actually look for it.

there was also the "cursed video" era, they were satirical and funny and unoriginal and glorious because people love them, and they're the type of stuff that get recommended to minecraft enjoyers.

slightly more original content but isnt new if you think about it - slightly longer videos but in a subject that people are curious about (as he's done it- "the unsolved mystery of...." and a bunch of others, those will make people actually click his channel to seek more videos of the same idea

and then its a cycle of those two for a while, keeps people engaged and grow fond of his channel

but then he throws a couple of videos that will make people stay there for him and not the content. aka the "minecraft but xray is on series" and it works, he keeps a level of engagement throughout the video and make people grow fond of him without them losing interest and draws out the video for around 20 minutes and thats when the mod videos started coming in

fully original content, with friends to keep the video from being dull (minecraft but... series)

and at that point he's practically made it, he just needed that little push to make all people flock to his content. thats where manhunt came in, in its early points at least.

i wholeheartedly believe that the speedrunning thing wasnt originally meant to be something to draw clout, if it was i reckon he wouldve made speedrunning videos before- but he started adding some speedrun videos and that helped people see just how good he was at the game.

but that's just like a very rough idea of it from what ive seen by scrolling through his channel, and he also talked about his name in anthony's interview, he said that Dream was a name he picked because everyone knew it, everyone knew how its spelled and its easy to remember, its just so well thought out and he just reached a point where he doesnt need those deliberate moves because now people use him for clickbait, hell even pewdiepie did.

it just. blows my mind no one else or not many other people really thought to do it the way Dream did or didn't manage to execute it as well because its such like, an easy thing to do sort of yk? you just need to have basic knowledge of how algorithms work. But thats just my opinion on it! feel free to add more if you want or if theres anything else you want to point out :D

[rhaenyraisadyke]

Fundys Stream My Nightmare (5/24)

(stuff transcribed live so. it might be wrong but I tried)

F: Remember the times when… when.. when… I.. remember the times when I couldn’t stop a nation from blowing up.. remember the times when I helped the guy who killed tubbo….

You know what bothers me the most? I have been having nightmares with crazy visual stuff happening and I don’t know how to explain it.. I I just.. my memory goes back to.. to those days.. I had the chance that I was always there. I was the helping of will and schlatt and the butters army….

And I.. I couldn’t do anything.. and it leads me to believe it was always my fault.. it makes me think it was always my fault.. and everytime I was apart of something it fucked up.. everything something messes up I’m part of it.. its always been that way.

A day ago.. quackity showed up at my doorstep.. and told me a few things. He told me.. ya know, the things I was part of and the a few things that made sense and a few things that weren’t.. weren’t great to hear, but he was right.

Me and quackity.. had a long talk, it was me thinking he came over to see me. I isolated myself from the world, tried to save everyone from having crazy shit happening, because every time Im part of something everything seems to break down no matter what it is. So I tried to isolate myself from only specific dreams.

And I thought he was going to see me but he had oddly specific business requests. He’s made some mistakes but he’s a nice guy. He told me about my history and made me aware of what happened… well… time for a new chapter maybe. I don’t know.. I don’t know, but its, lets hear him out. I think that’s the least we can do. I mean the place does seem impressive.

Q: I wasn’t here for business I was here for you

F: Do you really mean that?

Q: Why were you in the butcher army?

Q: Work in the cabinet?

Q: You have always had the same interests as me

Q: Because of those past experiences is why I went to see you.

F: You’re. ..Making me smile..

Q:And im not saying it to make you smile.. im saying it to make you think

Q: This is not las Nevadas… this is home. If you decide to join the country.. this simply will be home.

Q:For the longest time I didn’t have a home.. I had two houses in my lifetime, one was in the lmanburg house. Infant we had a dispute as neighbors… and another house underneath Karls house.. but I never intend to go back

F:You literally can’t go back there right?

Q:Do you want me to be honest fundy?

Q:As much as I love to see this as a new beginning… for me it was a necessity.. it was either starting a new chapter or rotting away in self pity.

F:Quackity I don’t really know if this stage is good…

Q:Fundy, you are more then happy to offer your contributions..

F:You’d allow me to do that?

Q:Fundy look at me and listen to me carefully.. I own this place, this place is mine and I am under rule of nobody, no Tommy, Tubbo, Schlatt, Fundy we can do whatever we want under any means, we don’t have to worry about going to war every single week..

Fundy we can finally go everything we want to. And that freedom means more to me then this SMP could ever offer.. We are FREE here.. .this is HOME fundy..

Its home.. this entire place is home, its ours… just like that I have been working on this for a long time just so someone to say you can’t do this you can’t do that you can’t express yourself

Im so tired of people telling me my entire fucking life that I can’t do something. And this is why this place- this is home fundy, this is HOME

I get it Fundy I get it, and we both have been in this situation quackity, we both know what its like to be put down, and to be written on paper and work for months and we know how that feels

And you and me unlike most people

I wish we could include tubbo on that but Tommy Wilbur had that share of power for awhile..

But you and I quackity we had so many ideas but we were pushed aside with our ideas and now all of thats changed and we can do something about it

F: Did you know I visited Paris eeveryyear as a kid?

Q: It wasnt a coincidence fundy…

F: It feels like home.. fundy it feels like home

Q: I don’t think there’s been amount in my life where I’ve been this happy.. And we offer all sorts of entertainment if someone wants

Q: Fundy you gotta chose the people you trust wisely, and Fundy I’ve put trust and hope more trust then hope . I gave too much benefit of the doubt when we were in the lmanburg cabinet, I used to think that somehow which the people we ruled over would someday strive for peace and love and maybe… but thats bullshit fundy… thats bullshit of what people want.. and that breaks my heart fundy.. but you know what? We are here now.. and all this.. you’re gonna see fundy..

F: But what if. What if it happens again Quackity? Quackity I’ve been thinking I told you about the nightmares and stuff quackity.. .once the nightmares finally end and the continuous loop finally escapes and want to know what I see I just see myself. And it tells me that you know.. that every single time.. it always leads me to believe that its always me… and that its crazy.. thats crazy..

Q: Fundy? Don’t talk nonsense… don’t talk nonsense on las Nevadas

F: sorry. Im sorry

Q: No fundy don’t apologies, you and I have been kicked in the ground and you and I have been undermined for so long,, and it doesn’t matter.. where are they?

Q: Wilbur as far as I am aware is dead..

Q: Tommy.. I haven’t even heard of Tommy in so long for all we know hes still chasing that disk

At one point of all of these friends I considered friends they are all still chasing the same thing over and over again and they think thats going to change… but thats the thing you have to create the change yourself.

But until you finally realize your own self worth as a warrior and an excellent member I don’t want you in las nevadas.. I care for you as a person, you’re not a business partner you’re not some asset some pawn, you’re my friend and I rather you work on yourself and realize your self worth.

And that point I don’t want you to be far away from me

You know what fundy? I still want you to find yourself….. Theres so much unused land here.. how about you take this plot here fundy and how about you build yourself a place you call home. Build whatever you want.. build your home’

F: Whatever I want? Actually? Like if I go back and find myself… if that ever were to happen.. this is the place I can call home? Right here?

Q: Build your legacy…. Fundy is big fundy is powerful fundy is smart… and translate all of those things into a nice big building…

F: Right now it doesnt strike me as the right thing to do.. well you know me better.

Q: Fundy.. you have to let go.. YOU HAVE TO LET GO..

F: I can do that.. I can do that.. .. its my choice its my decision

Q: Fundy.. pretend lmanburg never happened, pretend all of the wars never happened.. yell to the sky I am born again say I am born again I am no longer the old version of me.. it will take some time but I’m sure one day you will understand.. fundy im sure you will understand

Fundy I just have one last thing to say to you.. just follow me.. Look at this sign… Fundy… Welcome home fundy…

Welcome home..

F: You know at the end of the day.. he is actually nice..

Thats was friends do.. thats what friends do… good day actually good day.. my good friend.. who’s very busy lately… so what if he couldn’t visit me for three months.. and so a friend like me I can understand that people can be busy for three months like quackity or ever since I left… and im a good friend.. a bro.. you know what? You know what lil guy? I think I think… Im gonna have a good night… I think tonight might be different.. I think tonight im gonna have a good night…

[fishfem]

On the post about Spanish teachers wearing skirts to show support for a feminine boy student/GNC boy in the tags you said that would never happen to a GNC girl, can you explain? A lot of GNC girls expression is to adopt masculinity fashion expressions which now are very normalised (eg: wearing pants and having short hair). I’m actually curious and not trying to start shit.

no problem! i understand where this confusion comes from. women are allowed to wear neutral clothing like pants now (even though theyre often stylized and skinny cut with terrible pockets) while men cant wear dresses, and that feels unequal, no?

but the fact is, if a woman gets short hair— and not short hair like a pixie cut, but like a "normal masculine haircut" 1. its extremely hard to even convince someone to do it to you and 2. you get bullied and called a d*ke.

with short hair (and many slightly less feminized things as ill continue to explain) women are expected to trade a slight widening in what is considered feminine for even stricter rules and regulations of that expansion. it's never an approval of women being androgynous of masculine.

if a woman is gnc in most often 2 ways but it even happens with just one, theyre discarded as a lost cause, and often it can be hard for them to even be recognized as women because that has become so entertwined with femininity. man are human and women are feminine humans. when a woman breaks that, people will assume shes male despite all to the contrary, be homophobic, misogynistic, etc.

women may be able to have short hair, but often only feminized cuts. if they dare to have something you cant really feminize like a buzzcut, youre often pushed and pressured into overcompensating in a different method of femininity, like makeup, or dress. think girl with a shaved head wearing makeup and a summer dress. this combination is not a coincidence, that it is much more popular than "girl with buzzcut wearing no makeup, a unisex shirt, and pants".

this isnt a soft push. in school, bullying is rampant, and parents often wont even let young girls be gnc. they wont let them cut their hair, or if they do, it cant possibly be to a non-feminized cut.

this is a really small slice as im not sure how to describe the whole phenomenon, but the biggest point is, none of this is recognized.

there is a lot of recognization that men and boys are bullied and punished for engaging with femininity. as its become commodified, more and more places have started to allow and encourage it. on the opposite end, however, no one even acknowledges that women are not allowed any sort of neutral. nor the pressure to compensate for any "deficits" in femininity. nor how actually being gnc is practically unheard of, /especially/ in more than one way and without intense compensation for it.

additionally, this stretches into adulthood where women are literally less likely to get jobs not even for being gnc fully, but for just not wearing makeup. another thing completely ignored.

the push for male gnc acceptance is definitely tied to the fact that femininity makes money, so corps would love to encourage the development of a new market. on the other hand, female nonconformity is often just existing naturally, and makes no money. it loses them money. thats bad. thats why they popularize eyeliner so sharp it can kill a man, the idea that makeup and shaving are choices!!! but ofc our commercial shows the Right choice!!!! why theres no media push about accepting gnc girls.

this culminates into a word where if teachers see two gnc kids getting bullied. they will simply care more for the boy. theyll view it as more dangerous or more important. they may not even notice the girl, or theyll view it as just infighting. worse, they may just not care.

gncness is stamped out of women more and more. when i grew up, it wasnt until hs and i had already transitioned that i saw 1 genuinely not feminine woman or girl in real life. and she was still the only one. now in college, ive seen a few. theres me, too, but i pass as male often unintentionally, so they dont see me. what i have sesn is aside from the very few who divest all femininity, it has become more and more strict for those who try to follow it even a little. theyre able to get away with less and less.

[slime-smile]

i accidentally left my phone at life drawing on saturday afternoon. i set it down on a dresser next to the bathroom as i walked in and thought “ok i need to remember that i set that there, i always forget when i set things there” and then of course i forgot about it by the time i walked out of the bathroom.  probably in part because the timer that signifies the break has ended went off so i hurried back to my seat, for the final drawing of the day.  then after the last drawing was done, a guy i have talked to a little bit the last few times i’ve gone asked me if i wanted to go get tacos. i said “i forgot my wallet today so are you okay with buying me the tacos” and he said “yea.” i wasnt wearing shorts with pockets and i had been leaving my phone in my backpack during the drawing sessions so i had a vague impression it was in there.  we walked back to my car so i could set down my drawing pad and backpack, then we walked a few blocks to get The Best Fish Tacos in Ensenada. then we walked back together after we ate.  he rides a motorcycle and parked directly across the street from the figure drawing place.  we hung out on the steps of the house he’d parked in front of for a bit, then i walked two blocks back to my car.  it was soooo hot when i got in, i turned the A/C all the way up, picked up my backpack to get out my phone, and it wasnt in there.  i waited a minute to see if my car would tell me that it connected to my phone, in case the phone was lost somewhere in the car, and it didn’t, then i remembered what happened.  so i get out of the car and hurry back to where the liffe drawing was.  it’s hosted by these two artists in their personal studio, so i was like “ok they’re probably still there doing their own work now that the session has ended”  but i walk up and the driveway is empty (the guy always parks his car in it) so i’m like oh nooo but i walk all the way to the door anyways and it’s closed and locked and they’re gone.  the guy i got tacos with is still sitting across the street looking at his phone, so i walk back over to him and tell him what happened.  he seems concerned and is like “i can try to message the guy on instagram? or we can see if one of the neighbors will let you in?” and i’m like oh no no it’s fine, i’ll just come back monday night to get it. (they do drawing monday and thursday nights and saturday mornings) plus i’ve been wanting to try going on a weeknight anyways.  and earlier he had told me i should try coming on a weeknight some time and that he usually does, too. my main concern at that point was that i had a date planned for the night and i wasnt sure how not having my phone would affect it.  but then i remembered my date had emailed me so i could email him, and then i remembered (duh) that i had imessage on my laptop so i could still text anyways but just in a more restricted capacity.  the tacos guy really seems concerned for me and my phone though, like wonders how i will go two days without it.  but i resign myself to it and walk back to my car to drive home.  for some reason traffic is really bad, worse than usual -- dodgers game?? i dont know.  while i’m driving home i see a fire from the freeway, and i start to scare myself that it’s my house that’s on fire, even though i’m pretty sure my house isnt visible from that freeway and i’m still too far north for it to feasibly be my house.  i keep thinking “oh god all my art and my [most cherished personal item which holds no monetary value] and now i really wont be able to get in touch with [date] how would i let him know what happened and ugh i can’t even get my phone until Monday night, i wouldn’t be able to get in touch with anyone, what would i do if my house burned down??”  but i go home and my house was not on fire, obviously.  i send a message to my date to let him know what happened, and email the guy who runs life drawing about my lost phone.  my date replies “so you’re gonna be phoneless tonight??” and i’m like “yea but let’s just meet out front at 8, i’ll even be early.”  i go downtown to buy my date a bouquet in the flower district, it’s his birthday, but then i can’t conceive of a manageable way to have a bouquet at a bar, so after i bring the bouquet home i take out a single rose from it to give him.  we both like roses, as a symbol and as an object, i know this isn’t especially unique, but it’s nice.  he has a rose tattooed on his arm.  later, before the date, my friend sends me an email subject line “bruh” body text “you left your phone at whatever repair shop you were at this morning.”  which leads me to believe he called it and the life drawing guy answered it and told him he had it.  which was nice because i hadn’t gotten an email back from the life drawing guy yet and was worried that maybe someone else in the class had snatched it even though that seems unlikely.  and also kind of funny to imagine because obviously the life drawing guy’s perspective was that i was probably calling my phone from my friend’s phone trying to find it, when in reality my friend was just calling me not knowing that i didn’t have my phone and then some man answers it.  anyways then i go to my date and i text him when i’m leaving that i’m heading over and will see him there soon.  i look up the directions beforehand but then forget where exactly the bar is that we were supposed to meet and ask a guy on the street who i could tell was smiling at me even though he had a mask on where i needed to go and he told me the way.  i walk up and my date is already there standing outside, i walk up to him and he says “you’re early!” and i don’t say this but in my mind i’m like “you’re even earlier!”  and i hand him the rose and we go upstairs to the bar.  the bartender is really friendly and asks about the rose and makes the date a free drink for his birthday.  there’s a hottub and i’m like “why didn’t you tell me!” we find an uncomfortable bench and are eyeing a much cozier one where a woman is sitting, hoping it will open up.  we’re quickly absorbed in conversation and at some point i happen to look over and notice the cozy bench is free, and we dart over to it.  we’re able to sit there for an hour or so before a staff member comes up to us and informs us that we’re sitting where they plan to put the DJ booth, so we’ve got to move, but another couple is about to leave and they’re going to clear off their table for us.  so we go lurk by the table, where the man is sitting, and he reveals that he’s been noticing us all night, because he and his wife were the ones who had been sitting on the bench earlier, and they themselves had been told that they were sitting where the DJ was going to be, and so they moved.  i think it’s a funny coincidence that we’ve been following this couple around through the night, but i dont really know what else to say to the guy, so that’s sort of it for our conversation.  the table is less fun because now we’re sitting across from each other in chairs, instead of next to each other on a bench.  they set the DJ up as we’re finishing our drinks, and i propose that if the music is good, we dance.  the DJ starts playing but his song selection is terrible so we bounce.  date proposes we go back to his place, which i’m fine with, and i can sense that he wants to kiss, which we do, briefly, in the elevator.  in addition to the Saturday night drinks date, we’d already planned a Sunday afternoon date earlier in the week, so sleeping over made sense.  in the morning we walk to get coffee and i buy him a muffin for his birthday, and he says when we get back to his apartment he wants to teach me to play a Korean card game, one-card.  i say ok and that if we can find two other people who are into it, later (in the future, not in the day), i can teach him a popular Ohio card game.  i talk a lot of smack about how im going to beat him at one-card after we go over the rules, but then he wins 8 games and i only win 3.  at some point i notice that the rose i brought him has been left lying on a table -- hmm?  we go to brunch at a place i’d never been to before, near the movie theater (our pre-planned second date, seeing a movie), which is, i learn, known for their crispy french toast, but which i do not order, because i know it will make my stomach hurt.  at some point i say that i wonder what’s going on on my phone.  i feel kind of zoned out from the point in time after we stopped playing cards to go to brunch.  it’s probably because i didn’t sleep well the previous night, because i have a hard time sleeping in new places, or when i share a bed, or when there’s no white noise, or when it’s too hot.  he’s tired too, and dozes in the movie theater while we wait for the movie to start.  after the movie is over i drop him off and go home, Sunday is supposed to be my chores day, but by the time i get home it’s already 430.  i want to take a nap but i have to run an errand and water all my plants, which i kind of don’t end up doing.  my errand was to go to the video store to return the movies i’d rented the previous week, of which i only was able to watch 1 out of 2.  my favorite video store employee who i hadn’t seen in a long time (i was out of town, he was out of town) was there and we talked and caught up and i learned that he’s a triplet (but he said that the grammatically correct way to refer to both his other siblings was “twin,” he said “my twin” and i said “you’re a twin??’ and he said “well actually we’re triplets but blah blah blah” -- this seems wrong to me but what do i know) and then we were talking about a missing persons poster that someone had dropped off at the video store which was really sad but also that he, the employee, had googled the missing person, and that this missing guy had released music on bandcamp, and that the photo he used for the album cover was of the place that he, the employee, had lived previously and not only that but he, the employee, was actually in the photo that this missing person had used as an album cover on bandcamp.  and then the employee said “do you wanna see?” and i said “yeah” and he let me come behind the counter to look at the computer and i hung out back there for a second and told him about a movie that the bartender had been recommending to a guy next to me at the bar the previous night, but which i had thought sounded interesting so i butted into their conversation about it, and since i still dont have my phone to write the name of the movie down, i’ve been telling people about it so i don’t forget.  the bartender said it was a french movie called “hedgehog” about a little girl who has an existential crisis and decides she’s going to kill herself in two months.  the guy he was recommending it to said, “that sounds really dark, man,” but i said “that sounds incredible and like directly up my alley” and the bartender insisted that the movie was both good and funny.  and i was relaying this story to my video store friend and he looked it up and then said “we can probably see if we have it in the store” and he checks their system and they do, in the general “french” section, and i find it and pick it up.  he asks me if i’m gonna rent it this week and i say “i can’t cause i’m going out of town this weekend! but next weekend.”  and now it’s 11pm and i’m supposed to be finishing my zine but i spent an hour writing this, instead, but i’ve got to finish the zine and send to my friend for his final edits before i can go to bed

[bitchoftruth]

I wasn't in the mood to liveblog while watching the last episode of watadamashi, probably for the better as it let me gather my thoughts better. So, quick* summary of the events we see and what I think is going on.

*this isnt quick its quite long but skip to the end for my thoughts the summary is more for my own shit memory

-shortly after the episode starts Chie notices Rika is missing. Satoko acts suspicious towards Keichi (this is the first time I started suspecting something was off with Satoko, she acts really strange imo). Mion notes that she saw her talking to a construction worker looking guy.

p-everyone starts searching for Rika. Keichi notes something seemingly off (by context from later I assume he notes something off about the septic tank but the construction of the whole thing isn't clear to me). Mion calls him away which distracts him.

-mion makes keichi look on the roof. she starts shaking and goes on and on about how rika wants to get people killed. she returns to normal immediately after chie shows up

-chie calls the class off and keichi, rena and mion walk home. keichi notes everything is his fault but refuses to elaborate after seeing more "construction workers" on the road ahead.

-at home he gets a call from mion and meets up with her to go to her house. Keichi admits to the saiguden incident and Mion says she already knows and that some think he should be punished, but she is on his side.

-mion says that the serial murders were coincidence at first but later were co-opted to "punish" people who against oyashiro sama. she takes keichi to the underground torture prisons (tm) where she locks him in and reiterates her intentions to help keichi and end the "customs".

-she gets some sort of security alert. notes that the "minion" is there. she grabs a gun and leaves to "greet" them. keichi breaks out of the prison he is in and we see a shot of the security cameras showing people in construction worker uniforms.

-keichi abngs his head against the bulletproof door until he passes out. an unspecified time later he meets oishi who tells him that everyone is dead. note that he doesnt actually give many details on the how or when.

-keichi has a small breakdown thinking about how the murders are all around mion and whether she really was protecting him or murdering people (why not both)

end of summary.

so uh...this is an arc. I think mions stated motivation is real. I don't like the idea of mion culprit because in the orgiinal vn it was stated that she never does that. But that's what the arc seems to point towards. I don't see how any other solution would work especially in rikas case. lets go over the murders

-oryou, kimiyoshi, shion. since shion is missing after watagagashi also i think its afe to say all 3 were killed or at least imprisoden that day. kimiyoshi and oryou could make sense if mion really thinks theyre out to get shion. as for shions fate the only thing i can think of is that its a side effect of the loop memory build up.

-rika. mion is evidently paranoid enough to think shes involved especially if she overhead or experienced bern mode. she also seemed to intentionally lead keichi away from finding her. there is no reason anyone else would want her gone - if it was satoko she would just off herself too since her work is done. not sure about the bit about "construction workers" maybe its just her leading people astray on purpose.

-ALTERNATIVELY rika wasnt dead by the time of the events with the ladder, as oishi never stated when that happened. not sure what that would mean honestly but its possible.

-satoko....in the image shown there is only one gun and its not mions. i guess its plausible enough that they host eachother and its intentionalyl framed to show only one gun as oishi doesnt really give details. also ossible of course satoko killed mion and then herself but the positioning seems weird for that to me. either way no great mystery

-the construction worker people (yamainu i assume)...wtf is up with them ...if theyre the yamainu idk what their goal is. finding takano? a third possibility for rika is that the yamainu really did kill her. the research DOES go on after onidamashis end after all so someone might be wanting to test rikas death. but why did they show up at the sonozakis?

-why was satoko at mions? did she think rika came over like in watanagashi? did mion mean satoko as "minion" or the construction workers.

okay theories aside i still think watadamashi is a bit weak overall. i simply do not care about the mion keichi drama as stated before. however the scenario itself is interesting. Mion going on a murder spree to protect her friends is an interesting concept even though i cant really see her killing rika or shion or even satoko, i hope there is another explanation for those still. Also I said "her friends" but really it's just keichi.. Okay her relationship with shion is complicated especially if she has prev worlds memories and HS but rika and satoko ??? she woudlnt kill them..

complicated feelings on this one

[imastrangebean]

taz things ive been meaning to write down

ok so The Adventure Zone is a blessing to this world as are the McElroys in general

idk where i was going with that theyre just great

ANYWAYS

something that always lowkey bothered me about balance was the slight inconsistencies that arose from the fact that the story wasnt completely fleshed out until like halfway through crystal kingdom

dont get me wrong i love every little detail about taz but my brain always has to read too much into things and so ive overanalyzed a lot of the things from the beginning and i figured id share it

spoilers btw

1. Merle has gaps in his memory where he’ll accidentally remember things the Voidfish took away from him at random moments in time.

This is something I saw on another post, and now I cant unsee it

There are several moments where Clint has made some sort of goof that alludes to something that ends up happening later on. Of course, mechanically, this couldn’t have actually been planned, but I doubt any of these were. It’s just a nice little coincidence to tie up the story.

For example, when Merle asks to talk while they’re walking in (I believe it was) Wave Echo Cave, he phrases it in a way to make it sound like they’ve known each other for a while when they’d supposedly just met. (”I just feel like we’ve grown apart.”) Another time, in Crystal Kingdom, when Noelle was explaining what Liches were, Clint joked and said something along the lines of “Well I have some close friends that are liches.” (Lup and Barry) He is also the one to step in when Taako almost succumbs to the Gaia Sash, and he asserts his dominance in an unconventional but successful manner. 

2. The reason THB can handle the relics is because they helped create them.

This one is pretty straightforward, but I don’t know if they actually said it in the podcast.

3. Lucretia talked about the Umbra-Staff.

Going back and relistening to the podcast caused me to realize a couple of things. This is where I’m talking about the inconsistencies; the first two were just random headcanons I thought I’d jot down.

When Taako brings the Umbra-Staff to the Bureau of Balance headquarters, Lucretia tells him to bring it to Leon who finds the Umbra-Staff in his book. There was only ever one Umbra-Staff made, as was revealed in The Stolen Century, since Lup only needed one. The Umbra-Staff was also an original creation, so there would be no reason for there to be copies of it unless one of the seven birds tried to replicate it, and Lup is probably the only one who would be able to match it exactly. As a result, it can be assumed that Leon’s book was somehow factually incorrect. It says in his book that the Umbra-Staff is one of many, not one of a kind; not to mention the fact that it was in his book at all. The seven birds kept a low profile on Faerun before Lucretia and Fisher turned everything upside down, so there’s no logical reason as to why anyone but the seven of them would know about the Umbra-Staff. That would mean that one of them wrote Leon’s book, and, considering where it ended up and its off-putting misinformation, it was almost definitely Lucretia. She likely put the Umbra-Staff in his book as a way to honor Lup or in hopes that she would return, identifiable by her unconventional wand, but she probably pretended there were multiple in an attempt to keep suspicions from arising as to where this one-of-a-kind object no one has heard about came from.

4. Lucretia was teaching Davenport how to talk.

As we all know, Davenport lost the ability to say anything but his name after Fisher erased his memories. This means that he didn’t learn how to talk until sometime after joining the Institute of Planar Research and Exploration. He did, however, learn how to speak before the century-long mission; this is shown when he talks in front of the crowd at the assembly-type event that was arranged to celebrate the beginning of the mission. Even so, Lucretia erased the IPRE and, subsequentially, Davenport’s ability to communicate.

She probably didn’t realize that would happen, as he probably learned to speak before meeting her, and she probably felt guilty. That would explain why she kept him so close to her side, so she could protect and nurture him. He’d acted as somewhat a fatherly figure in the group, (though he was still their friend, and he did some reckless stuff; don’t get me wrong) and Lucretia would’ve felt the need to repay him. She would’ve had to start teaching him to speak sometime between the original erasure of everyone’s memories and the arrival of THB. The reason I say this is because, while Davenport is known for only ever saying his name, he starts out saying more than just that. It doesn’t last long, but he does communicate in concise sentences for his first few interactions with THB. The only way that would be possible would be if he were being coached by someone, and that someone would’ve had to be Lucretia. Lucretia likely stopped once she saw Taako, Magnus, and Merle, as she probably decided to then focus her efforts solely on channeling the relics and the light of creation into the shielding spell.

Another interesting thing I’ve seen about that is something that I personally accept as a headcanon: 

Magnus, upon gaining the knowledge that Davenport can only say his name, decides to prank Davenport by scaring him and saying “Magnus!” to mimic Davenport in a sense. However, when he does, Davenport reflexively jumps and responds with “Dammit, Magnus, stop doing that!” They then both get confused, and Davenport immediately goes back to being unable to talk.

anyways thats a lot of typing im probably gonna lay down now

[voidselfshipp]

Childhood Memories

Cw:injury, food and Bullying mention.

Ok to rb

Rorschach stood there, stunned , the woman before him.

Was she?.

No It couldnt be...

♡~~~~~~~~~~♡

Walter ran down the stairs, its winter and he had a jacket on, he ran across the street and banged on the door.

--whose It?--a Man asked.

--i uh...I came to pick up jerico! Sir!--he hides his hands on his pockets.

He hears rustling and a girl Came out, she had her hair in a bun, all bundled up for the cold.

-- wally!-- she hugged him tightly.

--Jerico!-- he said smiling-- ready to go play in the snow?

She nodds and both start to run around, the street, throwing snow at eachother, playing around until jerico is shoved forcefully, Walter catched her.

--Oh sorry-- two older boys looked at jerico-- youre very pretty

She took her Friends hand-- youre very rude and a Brute!

The two boys looked at eachother and tried to Grab her, Walter, however stood between them.

--Look! The whoreson wants to protect his little friend!

He clenches his fist,he felt her hand against his shoulder,and she whispered to his ear-- you dont have to do it...

--huh?! What are you two whispering about

Walter looks at jer with a concerned look, she shakes her head and he steps aside.

Before the boys can say anything, a rock came flying out of nowhere,hitting one of the boys in the eye, then another that came from the hands of Walter.

The boys pick on him, leaving poor wally with a black eye.

Though, jeri stepped In pushing both boys aside.

--dont touch him!-- the snow around her melts, the ground cracks,her fists clenched as various rocks coming from the sidewalk fly at the kids, who retreat running for their lives.

With a sad expression jerico helped Walter up.

--Are you okay?

He puts some snow against his eye--ill be fine...thank you ...

Both end up sitting on the stairs that took to jeris home, sitting on the small porch,with a warm drink.

--y'know?--Walter said taking a sip from his hot coco--when im older ill train and protect you! Ill Keep you safe jer!

She smiles, and cuddles closer to him, his spare arm around her waist.

She puts her head on his shoulder, Walter smiles.

-- hey lemme help you with that--jerico pressed a kiss to his swollen eye, he felt better instantly.

-- ill never figure out how you do this things

She chuckles and takes out of her inner pocket a beautiful white scarf-- me and my aunts got you this,I think youll like it

Walter takes he oversized scarf putting it on-- it smells like you...thank you!-- he kisses her cheek.

-- its big so you can use it for a long time!

That night, Walter felt happy, even if his mother berrated him, he got to cuddle up in bed, with his New little gift.

♡~~~~~~~~~♡

-- rorschach? Rorschach you there?--nite owl asked, as rorschach only let go of his scarf.

-- yes, just thinking...New girl seems familiar

--Hmm, you should go talk to her!--.

Walter Turned to his friend as if he was crazy, he shook his head-- no way, no way Daniel

So, Walter sorted to observe her from afar, he looked at her every chance he got, she was so similar to--

--Jerico!--laurie called-- d'you know where we left the cookies yesterday? We're making hot coco and some of us are starving!

--oh yeah!-- jerico answered-- second cupboard, top shelf!

"Jerico?....okay that was a coincidence.

No no,how many people in the world are named jerico?." Walter thought, as he sat on the table with the rest of the watchmen.

He lifted his mask up, just above his lips so he could drink.

It was a cold snowy night.

--y'know? Coming back here, it reminds me of a childhood story-- jerico said looking at her drink--i knew this kid...Walter, Walter kovacs--instaly, nite owl Turned to rorschach who acted as if he wasnt listening-- he was a very cute boy,Man, I had a crush on him.., one day we went to play, a day just like this one, snowy. A kid shoved me, Walter got in between the two bullies and protected me.., I gifted Him a huge scarf that day I wonder whatever happened to him...I also remember his shit ass mother...poor thing

Laurie patted jeris back--wherever he is I bet hes just thinking about you

She chuckled--i hope so, he mustve grown into a handsome adult now

After that night of crime fighting, jer went back home, scared shitless when she saw rorschach in her kitchen.

--what are you doing here? Did something happend?

--no, just wanted to see you-- he said eating from a can of lentils.

--huh, okay-- jerico left her bag on the couch--whats up?

--you...you seem familiar, known you before, familiar....

She tilted her head.

Just the way his childhood friend would.

--i had friend like you, long time ago, defended her from bullies, got hurt, she healed me with kiss...you you look so much like her, too much

Jerico looked at him-- Walter?...

Hesitantly he lifted his mask up, and she gasped.

-- Walter! Oh my god!-- shes about to hug him, but stops-- is it okay if i--

He hugged her tightly--...missed....you.....a lot

She smiles sniffling hugging him tightly-- I was right...youve grown into a handsome adult

--people used to say I was ugly...-- rorschach commented,she shook her head.

-- youre so handsome wally

He smiled a bit, pressing his forehead with hers-- you havent changed...at all

Jer giggled caressing his cheek-- and you havent either...lets make a decent dinner, stay the night okay?

He nodds-- but before that...-- he kissed her, hugging her waist,and smiled as she kissed back with her hands on his biceps-- I wanted to do that...since I was a kid

--the feelings mutal buddy

Both smile against the others lips.

After dinner,they cuddle in bed, snuggling under the warm blankets.

-- what happened to you here?-- she asked, looking at his bandaged bicep.

--Thugs..they are dead now

She nodds pressing a kiss to the bandage, just out of Curiosity he takes it off, the wound gone.

Of course

He chuckled and snuggled closer-- Ill never understand how you do that

-- well rory some things never change

-- indeed...

[mooswords]

OKAY MOO, I’M CURRENTLY READING UR FIC “Home” AND I’M— THE END OF THE FIRST PART WAS SO BEAUTIFUL. “he always comes home” -> IT’S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL CONTRAST TO THE BEGINNING!!! he gets lost in his OWN fields, and that’s saying something. however, despite that, the reader still being reassured (or as much as she can reassure herself) that he always comes home = he has the red string to BRING HIMSELF BACK TO THE READER = ALWAYS COMING HOME. I’M!!!! and i love the silly banter that opened the story. aLso HIS HESISTATION OVER TELLING THE READER THE JOB HE WAS ASSIGNED... BECAUSE HE WAS WORRIED ABT THE READER.... AKDKSKKSKS. the fact he didn’t accept the offer immediately DESPITE being so in love with the sea and waited for reader’s permission is such a SMALL thing, but when you describe his love for the sea as superior, that action shows he loves the reader even more and i just- SLKDKAKDKSK. i might be over-reading and i apologise if i do bUT DO COMMENT ON IT THANK U!! 🤩💜 - ava

u sent me these eons ago and i promise i wasnt ignoring you ive just been working like 10 hour days and i am Exhausted 😭😭 but all of these messages legitamately give me life, i am so incredibly grateful! <3 im so so glad you enjoyed this fic!! and you are NOT OVERREADING I LOVE TO SEE YOUR INSIGHTS!!!! it makes me fall back in love with the fic all over again! <3 

i am SO glad that him always coming home comes through! because it gets kinda dire in the middle of the fic so i wanted there to be that hope at the back of your mind that knew he always came home. but i wanted you to be stressed about it still so :) and silly banter is my favourite part of writing this guy, i had so much fun with it alskdf.

and ok i love u, you got everything i was trying to do there <33 like i was struggling to find the balance between her reluctance and supportiveness. thats a fun (and tricky) thing about established relationship fics i find... theres that depth of understanding that can make the interactions more interesting, but so much of it is unspoken. it was a good challenge! so its so GOOD to hear that it vibes right hehe

THE WAY KUROO PLAYS WITH THE STRING!!! THAT WAS SUCH A FOND MOMENT OMG AKDKSKDK. and it’s so interesting that it appeared before kuroo even left 👀👀👀

she already missed him 🥺🥺 i originally had him tug on her hair and then i went!!! wait!!!! we can do better than that!!!!!!!!

READER IS LOST WITHOUT KUROOO!!!! AKDKSKSK and i also love the little addition where despite it being a POUT, she holds it close to her heart. with the context of their banters + that little scene, it just shows me how much each appreciate every ounce of the other party which makes me SO SO SO SOFT AKDJSKDKSK. and then hitting me with the scene where reader is eating a meal alone??? a punch in the gut. when she realised she’s alone I TOO remembered that kuroo is gone and that softness established in the previous scene is sUCKED OUT—ASKDKSKSKSK. 

im just a little obsessed with the little things and gestures that make u fall in love with someone? like the specific way my friend twirls her pen while were in lectures, or how my dad has that one little smile when hes amused himself with his own joke... and for that to be a last lifeline for her to hold on to before he leaves :’))) I JUST LOVE EST RELATIONSHIP FICS OK?!

hehehe yes im sorry about that puch to the gut oops 😇 that was a scene i had super clear in my head before i started - the bright, bright string against the relative drab of the table and room.

i’m at the part where reader gets lost and let me tell u, the fact they have a WAY to communicate via string pulling alone is SO ENDEARING and just subtly hints they have been at this whole red string thing for AGES (or at least enough to form such an understanding). that’s ADORABLE and really strengthens the bonds they have together 

yessssssssssss as soon as i thought of this idea i knew it had to be an established relationship. i have it in my brain they have been married maybe 2-3 years?? i am such a sucker for unspoken understanding relationships :’)

“You push hurriedly through the crowd, ducking between market stalls and wagons. There’s no string to follow, but you don’t need it to find him today.” THIS SENTENCE WAS SO BEAUTIFUL in the context of the entire story. and what a perfect way to describe/show the reader that it’s THE DAY. MOO, you’re really serving such great kuroo x reader stories please continue AHHAHA

this entire fic was so self indulgent please dshlfkljadsb but im glad u like this line!! i tend to try visualise the scene like a movie first? and then write it, and this was also one of the first scenes that was super clear in my brain :D

402 DAYS!!!! I SEE WHAT U DID THERE 👀👀 also, is this is a little hint to how u had to wait until the end to see timeskip kuroo? HAHAHA that wld be adorable

WAIT YO THATS CLEVER? I DIDT EVEN- ava when i say that is a COMPLETE coincidence... i literally just picked a number that was longer than 365 days... breaking news i am a secret genius JKBDSCN

i also really liked the “in-between”: of reader’s life without kuroo. u can really see how integrated they are to each other’s lifestyle, and not only that, the scene where reader handles a twin’s birth (to me) strengthens how they’re reallllly soulmates. there is a low chance that kuroo knew reader was in a desperate situation, yet he pulled on the string at the time reader needed it. it’s just—telapathy but not really + soulmate system = SOULMATES. do i make sense? and i really love the details, like how we can trace back kuroo’s scar to a moment of reader’s life in the fic. putting it at the end sort of makes me reflect on their situations that happened simultaneously yet not really. it sort of fills me in with this,,, space. that the earth is so wide. i understand deeper what reader means by “oh he’s going to be gone for so long”. it’s just. wow. the earth is so big yk.

YES YOU MAKE TOTAL SENSE!!! it's such a lovey way of looking at it :') can they communicate and understand eachother like this cuz theyre soulmates? or just because they love each other and have learnt the other inside out?? hhnn this is why i love soulmate aus, theres so much to pull apart!!!

and ok yes on the topic of how big the earth is... im so glad u mentioned this, its my favourite part because (not to get like... super sappy or anything) i was writing this through the toughest stages of our second lockdown. our restrictions got to the point we werent allowed further than 5km from out homes, so writing about freedom and big spaces and exploration of far off places was such a nice escape for me :’) this fic has ended up very close to my heart. (plus i was reading @/w-yuren’s hq0819 series at the time so i had travel and adventure on the brain hehe) 

THE ENDING.... THE ENDING.... THE WAY KUROO ASKED READER TO KI** HIM—IT’S LIKE THE KUROO IN MY HEAD YESSSSS. Gosh, this line too “when he kisses you he tastes like the sea; like salt-spray and dry rations and freedom.” may i have a director’s cut abt it :3 AND AKDJSKSK. i really love how the string appeared even tho they were together (the scene before kuroo docked on the ship) and once again, they are together, but none of them are lost because they r together-together. do i make sense? am i overreading things??? again, i have to comment on the banter. it’s simply amazing. kuroo’s replies are so,, KUROO, and they are filled with such FONDNESS I’M SO AKDKSKSK.

IM SO GLAD HE VIBES THANK U I THINK THE FONDNESS IS MY BIAS SHOWING BUT SHHHHH ;P you have picked one of my favourite lines out heheh it was one that just flowed out and wasnt one i particularly had to think about which is always nice. but i think it is a combo of me trying to be fancy lol and me being a huge fan of fantasy-books-set-on-ships. think like explorers or pirates, some rag tag bunch who have to set off on some quest and come back with some of that wildness imbued in their very being... yeah this line was definitely born from me Yearning i think :P

ooo do you mean the wedding scene? that was me trying to hit the ‘feeling lost in a crowd’ idea. you know when youre surrounded by people and joy and laughter and you just feel very small and disconnected? that.

ALSO READER’S DYANAMICS WITH KARASUNO CHARACTERS IS ADORABLE AKDKSKSKK. the festival scene was such a breather and it was adorable to see her interact with those characters. it feels like a snapshot in her life i simply adore that :3

ahh yea! i wanted her to have a life, you know? shes not the type to mope around, like life goes on. that doesnt mean she doesnt miss him oof but theres a whole community around to support her too!! and im very fond of takeda in this scene :’) he takes care of his crows <3

I RAMBLED SO BAD BUT THANK U AGAIN LOVELY I CANT EXPLAIN HOW AMAZING THESE ARE TO RECIEVE <3  

[valkerymillenia]

Umbrella Academy

season 2, episode 4

New episode, new post!

This was the other post I had written out that got accidently deleted so I'm writing it all again.

1993? And Lila was 4? TOO MUCH COINCIDENCE! I still stand by my theory that Lila is one of the 43.

Yes, she has a father but that could just be her mother's husband. It's just too coincidental that the show would make her exactly the same age as the Hargreeves for no reason.

Ah the red heels. Hi Handler. These heels are really pretty though, very wicked witch with the ruby slippers. Even that outfit kind of screams wicked witch meets Cruella de Vil 😏

Kill parents, adopt child. Interesting MO, Handler. Like an evil Bruce Wayne (does this make Handler Owlman? I know, I'm not funny).

Oh, Handler pulling a Reginald with Lila!

Except, you know, she actually gives Lila positive reinforcement and affection, unlike Reggie. But her training seems just as brutal and inhumane for a child (and possibly even more violent) as Reginald's...

It's curious and interesting, a nice foil. Handler succeeds where Reggie fails- creating a loyal and effective soldier will into adulthood- because she was willing to give the kid affection and compassion. Reggie saw himself as some sort of hero creating heros but he failed at the most basic and human thing that even the villain understood.

-The filmography in these training scenes is brilliant.

-Ah, that prom look is the same as half of my classmates when we graduated 🤣 down to the blue makeup.

I'm guessing Lila's "prom"/"graduation" was her first solo assassination?

Wait, Handler wants to protect Five...? What the hell is she up to now?

Talking about killing people like it's a fun hobby 🤨

Oh, so the Swedes are triplets? I suspected but I like the confirmation.

Oh, Handler is lying ~~~~ 🎶

She's definitely following her own agenda here and she's leading Lila into danger. The question is if she's going to undermine the Commission for revenge of if she wants to prove her ability to get promoted back into administrative ranks of the Commission.

Either way, this will not end well for Five.

Lila is going to end up having to choose between Diego and Handler, isn't she?

Five stays in the car to give Luther space... No matter what Five says he actually cares about his siblings' feelings, doesn't he? He's the most overprotective of them all and always has been. It's sweet.

Ah, Luther and Vanya bonding over Five being an asshole. ☺️

"very warm and cuddly father" 🤣

Of course Vanya figured out Five was sparing her feelings, because she's not dumb

Oh, thank you for the honesty, Luther! Gotta love that.

I'm actually really happy to see Luther owning up to his mistakes instead of trying to act like the flawless leader. I think he grew a lot after accepting that Reginald wasnt perfect and I'm glad to see that growth still happening as he learns how to be an independent person. I just hope his guilt doesn't turn into even more self-hatred.

"you had kind of a bad childhood" -understatement of the century, Luther!

Luther, you have pissed off the mobster, you moron. You're on big trouble now.

Dramatic wall punch! 🙄

"when you get angry shit blows up" 😂😂😂

"you're our sister and a member of the umbrella academy" - oh, now you want to include her? The irony of this is that it's the one thing Vanya wanted for the first 29 years of her life and if anyone had said it then, the apocalypse would probably have never happened.

🖕🙊🖕

"I wonder if it's too late to be un-adopted" -ah, you know you love them, Five

Honestly, Allison actually keeps her cool really well, if I went through that phone call I would have broken something.

Why the hell does Klaus want menudo first thing in the morning?? Ew...

Klaus butchering "the frog and the scorpion"... You were doing so well but ended up completely missing the point of that story, dummy.

Diego's stab wound is healing really quickly...

Wait, he's healing quickly and Allison doesn't have a neck scar... Plus Klaus is immortal... Hmm, I wonder if quick healing is an ability they all share? Though that would put Diego's scars (and maybe Ben's death) into perspective...

Does Diego wax his chest? Those pecs are real smooth for someone who spent over two months in a 60s mental institution. 😆

"we've all had the urge" 😂 and Diego's sarcastic laugh 🤣

Who's the 12th of the Magestic 12? Oh, I WONDER WHO THAT COULD BE??? Maybe a certain monocled asshole?

"Mamie pink" is Klaus's new nickname, I don't make the rules.

Klaus, you are freaking the boy out with all this new information...

Oh no, the homophobia 😡😡😡

You know what's more heartbreaking about this homophobic disaster? Dave is likely in the closet and this whole situation here and the hate his uncle is showing must be so painful to him, it would probably bury him even deeper in the closet...

Klaus... The punch... Oh, baby... 😢 Oh no, I'm going to cry 😭😭😭

Is Raymond really implying that Allison is a spy? Damn...

Just tell him the truth, Allison! How do you marry a person without telling them something so big about yourself??

Oh, so Klaus has been sober for 3 years... Interesting.

No, Klaus! Don't start self-destructing again! 😢😢😢

It must be so painful for Ben to watch this and not be able to stop it...

Oh shoot, the cult found him.

"prophet"? "holy wanderer"? Interesting.

Poor Klaus just wants peace.

They seriously couldn't get a suit for Five too? Is he not allowed to wear anything else?

Five is onto Lila 🎶

Luther, are you stress eating? Well, at least you're not going on a bender again.

Awww, Luther- Allison reunion. Cute. Please don't make it weird.

Oh God, the awkward small talk is back 😩

I'm glad Luther is being so mature about this. I like this dynamic better.

"Vanya is on a farm. And happy" and Allison finds the happy part weird. Diego in the "nuthouse" and Allison doesn't find that weird at all, even does that 'yeah, ok makes sense' face. Klaus "cult leader" and Luther isn't surprised at all, that little "eh" was so funny.

Lord, this family is mess.

"Doomsday" *awkward chuckle* -you guys are getting way too used to this.

"Diego, try not to do anything too stupid" 😆 ah, brothers.

Lila in red heels, like mommy... 😏

Reggie taught them ballroom dancing? And Handler had the same idea?

Um.... Ok, so new theories! Do Handler and Reginald know each other? Could Reginald have been in the Commission? I'm going to be thinking about this for a while...

Just let the girl lead, Diego. Stop being a little bitch.

GRACE?!

So mom!Grace is either a cyborg or she was modeled after this woman... Makes curious about Reggie's relationship with this lady.

Diego going through the universal horror every kid goes through when realizing that mommy and daddy are "together". 🤣🤣🤣 "I can't picture it on my head. That's nasty"

She didn't tell him her name was Grace but apparently it is.

Am I the only one getting weird desperate and co-dependant vibes from Sissy?

Oh no! Save the baby!

Holy shit! HOLY SHIT! Vanya's powers are incredible! The special effects in this scene are unbelievable!

Save the child!

How did his lips get blue so quickly?

THE RETURN OF THE MAGIC ALIEN LIGHTS! AAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Ok, I need to pause to gather my thoughts... Ok, things I hope don't happen-please don't magically "fix" the disabled boy, and please don't make the powers transferrable (that's just lazy writing, don't rehash "Misfits").

However, other than that I'm just very curious what those lights will do to Harlan. Will they just save his life? Will he gain powers? Will he have some weird connection to Vanya now? I'm dying to find out!

Anyway, back to the ep.

Baby boy is ok!

Luther, did you think pissing off the mobster would end well?

Elliot just starting up at Luther in awe and visibly fighting not to poke him. 😆

HELL NO, LUTHER! NO DRUGS! DON'T YOU REMEMBER THE LAST TIME?? YOU GOT YOUR BROTHER KILLED!

Oh, Sissy... Poor woman.

There going to kiss, aren't they?

Melancholic music kicking in. Sad emotional talk. Sitting way too close. Yeah, they're going to kiss.

Aaaaaand there's the kiss! ☺️

But now I need to pause and digress again...

Yeah, Sissy's feelings for Vanya are not healthy at all. In fact they mirror Vanya's feelings for Leonard- she's unhappy with her life and clinging to the first person that gives her attention. She wants help, she wants to be rescued, she's touch and attention starved. She's co-dependant and emotionally manipulative.

I'm not saying Sissy is a bad person, she's not, she's a sad person stuck in an unhappy marriage, terrified of being abandoned (almost paranoid) and exhausted under a lot of pressure dealing with a disabled child. And then in comes Vanya, who is perfect with Harlan, so loving and kind and has nothing else to pour all her attention towards. Of course Sissy sees salvation in Vanya and is desperate to keep her.

I'm not saying Vanya and Sissy can't have a beautiful healthy relationship, they can, but not like this. Sissy is clinging too tight and using Vanya to make herself feel better and make her life easier. They both deserve better than that and I hope they get it.

I'm starting to think that all relationships in this season might be doomed to fail:

-Sissy and Vanya have a co-dependant and emotionally unhealthy infatuation and Sissy is married to a man that, while not great, still clearly loves her;

-Raymond and Allison have too many secrets between them that are causing a major rift, they can fix it but there's also the chance that Ray might not be able to accept the truth about her;

-Lila is a double agent using Diego to get close to Five, she seems to be developing feelings but the fact that she's lying about who she is and working for Handler is obviously toxic;

-Klaus is pining over a person that Dave has not yet become and while he only wants to save Dave's life, it's obvious there's too big an experience and culture gap between them for a relationship to flourish;

-Luther and Allison have become one-sided and less innocent and puppy-love than before, now it really is just creepy and unhealthy (whereas before it was understandable because they grew up together under an emotionally unavailable father and isolated from the real world, naturally they became attached and confused their feelings, their attachment wasn't healthy but it was justified and almost innocent... Not anymore though);

-we have no concrete proof yet, but it seems Ben MIGHT be pining over a girl that might not even see him, he's dead, it might be an interesting dynamic storywise, but it's not going to happen, it's unhealthy and unfair;

Some of these couples might still survive and become great, it's still really in the season after all, but they have a lot of growing to do before they get there.

Anyway.... Back to the episode.

Oh Klaus... Off the wagon...

Allison being a good sister and taking care of her brother. My heart ❤️

Luther, you idiot... Well, at least you're getting high in a safe environment.

Luther and Klaus are self-destructing, my poor boys.

"you are super weird" - Luther, you have no zero right to call anyone weird, have you looked in the mirror??

"the woman I love loves someone else" -the woman you love is. your. SISTER!

I really like poor Elliot, I hope nothing bad happens to him.

Jesus, that's creepy, Luther.

Didn't I say Reginald was the 12th? 😏

Roswell? Reggie probably has a vested interest in that.

Blink out of there, Five.

I love that Five's main move is always 'teleport onto their backs and go for the throat'.

Wait, why did Five's teleportation glitch???

The music!!!!

Wait, did Diego's aim just glitch too???

Could these power glitches be connected to Vanya's magic lights going into Harlan? Or could it be something about the Swedes? Or about Reginald's presence, seeing as he dodged Diego's power before? Hmm...

Oooh, Lila has to choose between Diego and her mission already? Interesting... Of course she chooses to save Five.

Badass Lila is amazing!

So she could have helped Diego after helping Five but instead she just walks away? Huh, unexpected.

Diego, you adrenaline junkie. Good moves though.

The ancient Greek is a surprise! I really want to know what Five said to Reginald!!! What did he say? I need to know!!!

Another great chapter!! Very emotional too!

I want more!!!

[futurewriter2000]

Wow! That wasnt the answer i was expecting. I dont really understand nor believe these spiritual things but i am interested now. Can you share some youtube accounts or stuff like that where i can learn more about them. My day was very tirimg btw. I attended uni exam today and i have the second one tomorrıw and i am really stressed. Reading your fics calms me so i was on your account all evening. Wish me luck!

I mean I dont understand these spiritual things either but it really saved me from “darkness” I guess. I’ve been following it up most of the times  since then. I can’t really explain you how to like get into it but I remember I started with astrology, you know zodiac and stuff, then I got deeper into when I started numerology- you know when you usually look at a clock and there could be 11:11 or 01:33 or something or when you look at the volume and its 33% or phone battery, they have their own personal message for you. You know it say usually that your guardian angels or your spiritual guides are trying to send you a message. 

I remember when I was really depressed in January I felt hopeless and well, dark and all of a sudden there were these ones that kept appearing everywhere and it got to the point it was so annoying that I started looking it up and then someone, I don’t know who exactly, said that when angels or spiritual guides want to send you a message, they will send you signs or numbers until you acknowledge them. I mean if you wait till clock is idk 03:33 then that really isn’t a message, you know. 

And I thought it was you know weird at the begging, you know coincidance but you have to pay attention to it. Like I always see 4s and lately 3s and 1s but my numebr is mostly 4 so I see a lot of 4s in my life. Four is also my life path number and my guide number, so I really do rely on it. 

And then I remember also there were always these tarot cards videos, you know that I thought were bullshit but then once I clicked on it and I was just sucked in. It doesn’t really have to resonate for you or something but usually it does for me. Not always but sometimes it really gets the situation on the plain sight and it just gives you some sort of clearing on it. 

And for me, I really rely on dreams. I think dreams are a big part of your spiritual journey, I mean for me it really is because I have always, since I was a kid had dreams that held their own power. Sometimes I dreams the future, sometimes I dream a feeling, sometimes nightmares and if you are aware in your dreams, which I am sometimes. Like I know I am dreaming in my dreams and I can sometimes control them, which is called lucid dreaming, but I am not that well in because I feel like that lucid dreaming is risky and dangerous, and I am already afraid of my dreams as it is. But you know if you dream dirty water or your teeth falling out or a white horse or broken mirrors and stuff like that, it can really tell you and advise you on certain situations in your life because that is your subconsiosness speaking to you and your coinciousness is your aware state meanwhile your subconsciousness is not. So dreams are kind of like your burried secrets, feelings, pressure and stuff like that. So it’s good to stay alert on those. 

With youtube videos it’s like... I follow some but it’s kind of like...idk how to tell you I just watch random videos from random people but I think that really good ones are Rich Lopp, The Tarot Cottage, White Rose Guidance and my favorite is Cosmic Tarot. That woman is amazing. I also watch Ethereal Empress and Astrokit both have nice explaining videos but sometimes I just pick random, not specifically them.Whatever pops on my dash. 

And on instagram I love third_eye_thirst  because she really has nice instagram blog oh and also Numerologist is nice. You should check that out on google bc it’s a page. But mostly I just find different sources. 

I wish you good luck on the exams. I have an important exam on Wednesday and I have to study so hard for it because I cannot fail it. So I know you’re stressed and everything but just do whatever makes you feel relaxed. Sometimes it’s better to take a longer break and get back there.