#yes im speaking abt the last debates still

[itsbebebe]

Its so interesting to me that iirc elq was the first to buzz in on the "how will u deal with the code monster" question in the 2nd debates, especially since hes linked to the federation but also because the sky changed when he left the debates. Theres a lot to read into there and i dont think many have tried to

[hanasnx]

hi i asked abt zena and ani. I js wanted to say that their dynamic is my favorite thing in the world. how he’s so nonchalant abt everything and mysterious and her just wanting to crack him. im in love.

also. “ever shot a porno?” god kill me now. i need more of their banter. just the way they speak to each other is so 🫠

i’d love to see a more personal (wink wink) interview between them both.

thank you indy for blessing this earth with zenakin.

(also could i be 🪐)

this is so crazy cool to me tbh bcos i didnt write them together originally to have crazy sexual tension i just feel like i cant not imbue sexual tension into my writing. i love that you asked me about them and youve picked up on their dynamics. the prompt is a little too vague so i hope im doing it justice. also yes ofc you can be that emoji <3

"Bet you thought you saw the last of me." ZENA DAREN remarks smartly, a haughty curl to her lips at the sight of ANAKIN SKYWALKER sitting before her once again. He takes a sip from his water bottle, and she finds herself staring at the way his Adam's apple bobs from the movement. He wipes his lips with the back of his hand, and drops the bottle next to his chair leg.

"You are persistent, I'll give you that." he relents, and nods in subtle commendation. "Didn't even realize I had an agent until you relentlessly overwhelmed her with every trick in the book. Can't say I'm not impressed." Zena can't tell if this was another one of his signature dry jokes. Krayt House couldn't be so popular now that he wouldn't notice an entire person signing on to be his personal agent to coordinate events behind the scenes? How many papers has this guy signed to have not kept track of something like that? No, must be a joke. It's still taking considerable effort for her to nail this guy down. Like a Rubik's cube, she can't put it down until it's a clear solve.

Her pen points over the precipice of her clipboard. "You told her you weren't taking interviews anymore." The accusatory tone of voice utilized causes Anakin to raise his brows in mock offense.

"The series is over. Why should I?" he debates, sinking further back into his seat that unconsciously pushes out his hips. Those black pants hug him well, and Zena swallows. Additionally, he crosses his arms over his broad chest, swelling the muscle in a most please way. Cords of tendons lovingly tended to in the gym are on full display. At this point, she knows he's attractive— he has been all this time— but what would she expect from a professional porn star with his kind of experience under his belt? It won't go anywhere if she pursued it, but she's far more fascinated in him as a puzzle to solve.

"You neglected to mention to her that I would be an exception." She shrugs, as if it should be obvious, leaning her back against the chair as a snooty expression adorns her countenance.

He scoffs. "You think after a couple of links that you're an exception?"

"Out of the roster I'd say I'm the most consistent contestant. You agree to be on my show thirty-seven percent more than others on average."

Anakin tilts his head forward to peer at her through his brows curiously, "Oh, so you're keeping tabs on me, huh?" There he goes again, being that charming smooth-talker that can tongue-tie her in seconds. It's frustrating.

Warm color blooms on Zena's cheeks, and she rallies. The stumble is noted by her counter-part, who scans her vulnerable figure in her usual professional attire. Her legs crossed neatly over one another in a pencil skirt and heels is practically smoothed over as if his piercing blue gaze was a large hand. "That's not—"

"I get it." He pinches his shoulder to his neck with a sniff of his nose, swiping at it with his thumb as he glances to the side. "We both know you've got a little thing for me. Look, I was just showing up to do my job. It's not my fault you got the rights to me during the run of the series."

Without thinking, Zena blurts out, "Are you always so self-centered?"

The corner of his lips quirk up. "Only when it helps me get a read on my opponent." Once more, Zena is rendered speechless. She's been trying to decipher this guy since day one and all she's managed to do is grant him insider access to her own mind. Anakin takes advantage of her reticence, gesturing to her camera with an incline of his head and his curls bounce from the motion. "Forgot to turn on the camera." he points out to her. Her gaping mouth cannot be occupied by a single word, and he takes it one step further. "I like your glasses. New pair?"

[ooglywooglies]

i might not be the person to answer this, especially bc i'm more rad-adjacent than actual radfem, but i'll try to answer your question abt gnc transmen.

2 things beforehand, tho: 1) i think it's disingenuous of you to say you don't see us talking about certain points when you also state you have many of us blocked. (also, can i really trust you, internet stranger, to read our posts in full? & in good faith?) 2) b4 you make any assumptions — radical feminists like gender nonconformity... a lot. i have never seen a radfem suggest otherwise, & any woman who does can't be an rf, as challenging social/patriarchal norm & convention is part & parcel of radfeminism.

ok, now onto your question & trans gender nonconformity! when you replace "transman" or "transwoman" with what they are ("adult human female" aka "woman" & "adult human male" aka "man", respectively), they aren't being gender nonconforming at all. (i'm going to use "you" in a general sense here) if you, as an adult human female aka woman, are wearing high heels and sparkly dresses and a full-face of makeup... you're not breaking convention at all, even if you hurry to tell someone that, "no, no! i use he/him pronouns, so it's totally genderfucky." you're still a woman in heels, a dress, & makeup.

i will say i think a lot of rfs & rad-aligned women find femininity as a whole generally harmful (i pulled up a chart listing feminine vs masculine traits & it's clear femininity is meant to be degrading. that's not to say there aren't negative aspects of masculinity too; those are just exceptions, however, and not the rule). but on a more personal note, i don't think liking pink or something shiny really counts? pink used to be a "boy's" colour up until the mid-1900s & everyone wears jewellery. i'm definitely getting into semantics there, but those are just my thoughts. :)

again, i don't know if i can speak for radfems, but i think everything up to that last bit is what you'd see. if you need any more clarification or if you have any more questions, feel free to ask, and hopefully more actual radfems answer, so you don't just get my perspective. have a great day/night!

response to 1) its only really disingenuous if you were under any impression that i wanted to have some kind of debate, which i dont. so yes you can assume i read radfem posts in bad faith, but its irrelevant to my question. i havent personally seen the topic mentioned which is why i reached out not because i assume its NEVER mentioned. its purely a curiosity thing which is why im even engaging this community in the first place.

response to 2) i am aware.

i think the reason i wanted to ask is because ive seen before radfems trying to reason why someone would want to be a transgender man in the first place yknow. like, psychologically (from a radfem perspective) the whole point is to escape misogyny right? or because you dont follow societys typical expectations of women (used liking pink and glitter as an example but yes this obviously applies to everything from wearing makeup and heels to being a mother) so you think "oh this must not be for me then, i must be a man"

and as a trans person i dont think gender is quite so logical, like ive personally never had a moment where i was like "oh i like x and y and dont like z so therefore" its all about the body and labels really for me, which extends in to concepts but im not gonna make an argument here i know im talking to a brick wall. (and realize i too am in turn a brick wall)

but anyway so when that aspect:

"im a man because i dont things associated with girls"

"im a man because i dont fit in as a woman"

"im a man because im attracted to women"

are removed from the equation (as a trans man i can personally say that none of the above apply to me) what is the logic from a radfem perspective of why an AFAB person would want to transition to a man.

(also note none of this is meant to be passive aggressive or anything, im being completely genuine, i really dont want to start a fight)

EDIT: (also also it might help to mention when i say trans man in my minds eye i generally picture someone whos fully transitioned so deep voice and beard maybe even penis)

[fbfh]

“forever” paxton hall-yoshida x reader

genre: fluffy romance + mutual pining (not too slowburn tho lol)

word count: 3.4k

au: none?? jock x theatre nerd ig

pairing: Paxton x broadway baby!reader 

requested: yes !! i hope u like it uwu

warnings: one hell one motherfucking and i think that’s it for swearing?? um brief self deprecating/talking bad abt urself from paxton (bby boy needs a self love boost), reader and paxton are home alone together for a little while but nothing bad happens, uh,,, i think that’s it

summary: when Eleanor can’t run lines with you, she sends over a very attractive, mutually pining substitute.

reccomended songs: “Seventeen” - Tuck everlasting OBC, “The Kiss” -The Princess Diaries score

a/n: i’m p sure i kept the reader p gender neutral but there’s implied slightly long hair, and you play the lead (a girl named winnie) in ur schools production of tuck everlasting but like it’s theatre so anyone can play anyone lol,, this took so got dam long bc i’m fucking s o f t for jock x artist and it just sorta happened lol aLsO,, not super thoroughly edited so there might be a typo or two?? im tired lol

requests r open <3

You had only ever seen two athletes present during rehearsals. Once when Madeline (who at the time was playing Penny in your production of Hairspray) was dating a guy from the soccer team. The other was when the star of the basketball team had come in to give your choreographer pointers for the basketball scenes during High School Musical. 

Until now.

You had run onstage part of the way through “Live Like This”, which wasn’t out of the ordinary since so much progress had been made on the costumes. You were still tying the ribbon on your pinafore as you jumped into the song, but when your eyes met a face in the usually empty auditorium, you faltered. You almost sang the wrong verse, but recovered quickly, continuing with the blocking. What felt like a moment later, the number was almost done and you were nearing the end of your counterpoint with Mae Tuck - played by Eleanor, of course. Who could be better for the part? You held out the last note, trying to stay in character despite all the distractions in the back of your mind. You had to talk to Eleanor when the director called for 10; she’d started telling you how Devi was being weird recently. Also, what the Hadestown was Paxton Hall-Yoshida doing chilling in the auditorium? You shoved all that away, focusing on staying in character until the director called for a break. 

‘I want to go to the fair. I want to go so badly! I just need a change, need to get out of this house for a little while. I never do anything, so this can’t be asking for too much, right?’ 

You projected all that into your everything - face, voice, mannerisms, energy.

“Hold!” 

Everyone froze.

The director wrote a few things on his paper, sighed, and underlined something several times. 

“Okay, good job! I need to revise some of the blocking, then we’ll do notes, so take ten.” Your sudden nerves had definitely made you pitchy, you knew that would be one of your notes for sure. 

A chorus of “Thank you ten”s erupted, and you immediately ran to Eleanor, telling the others good job as you passed. 

You leaned in and started speaking to her, quietly.

“Okay you need to finish telling me about Devi, and that other news you’re being so cryptic about! Also, what’s up with Fierro over there?” you nodded towards Paxton hoping he wouldn’t see, and you noticed Fab is sitting near him. You realized they’re probably waiting for Eleanor and/or Devi. That must be it, he’s been hanging out with them lately, right? Eleanor gasped.

“You’re right! Paxton is such a Fierro!”

You cringed inwardly a little bit as her voice carried through the auditorium, mixing with the others. Your eyes darted over to him for a fraction of a second. Oh god. He was looking at you. Or in your general direction at least. Lena, the costumer, walked around the set gingerly, following you around and getting you out of your dress incredibly carefully as you and Eleanor walked off stage. 

“No! Well, yes- but no. What’s he doing here? Jocks never come here during rehearsals. I saw Fab too, are you guys and Devi getting dinner or something?” You said, entering the auditorium, and stepping out of the dress. You grabbed sweatpants and a silky, floral kimono jacket from your bag to throw over your leotard and tights. She waved back at Fab before sitting down in the front. You both grabbed your fans and dramatically flicked them open in sync. Your wrists fluttered, cooling both of you off.  A knowing, and slightly mischievous, look came on her face. 

“Devi and Fab and I are. Paxton must be here for something… else.” she shrugged, nodding towards Paxton. You looked over again. He was staring at you. You did a double take and tried to hold back your smile. 

“Wh- I do not know to what you are referring.” 

“To what I am referring is the blush on his cheeks.”

You barely held back a nervous, bubbling laugh.

“He is not blushing! Why would he be blushing!”

“I don’t know,” She shrugged, “Just like how I don’t know that he’s been loitering in the halls outside the music room during your last three solo music rehearsals.”

You struggled for an answer. Before you could form one, you were interrupted.

“Okay, okay what is the best Lin Manuel Miranda musical? Because Kathryn thinks it’s Hamilton-” 

“Duh!”

“-But I think it’s In the Heights! It’s an underrated jewel!” Jonah interjected, still wearing his Jesse Tuck hat. 

You considered for a moment.

“I mean, they’re too different to compare. In the Heights has the same energy as Rent - showcasing what goes on in ordinary people’s lives, and how love ties us all together,” he nodded in agreement, “But Hamilton is on a way larger scale, almost Les Mis meets Fun Home vibes. But in terms of personal preference…” Eleanor scoffed at your answer, and Jonah went back to debate further with Kathryn.

“Anyway,” you turned back to Eleanor to ask her what the hell she meant by Paxton Hall-Yoshida was blushing. But before you could-

“Eleanor, we need you to try on your blue dress again,” Lena was already pulling her away, “I had the empire waist in the right place but half the pins fell out, and it’s just...” And she was whisked away before you could finish the thought. You just had time to help Holly get out her wig pins and drink some lemon water before notes. Eleanor still wasn’t back, so you made sure to write down hers for her. It was pretty standard; be quiet backstage, go over your lines, don’t touch props that aren’t yours, don’t eat in costume, and a couple blocking changes you made note of. After your end of rehearsal warm downs and huddle, everyone left relatively quickly. You ducked into the bathroom to freshen up a little. Sometimes it was hard coming down from such intense energy after rehearsal. You mentally ran through your to do list. You needed to get some more tea, write that essay when you got home, go over your notes- You gasped, cutting off your own train of thought. You ran out of the bathroom to look for Eleanor, still clutching her notes in hand. 

~

Your voice still echoed in Paxton’s ears. He wished he had a whole album of you singing. Your voice made him want to ruin his spotify algorithm by listening to nothing else. You had looked at him a couple times, and his heart had almost stopped. He didn’t know eye contact could be so intense. It’s probably just cause you’re like, the only person in the audience. Where else is she supposed to look? He deflated a little. He heard his name and looked over to you and Eleanor talking together. Hopefully it was about him. Hopefully it was good. He checked his phone, trying to look busy. When he glanced up to see if you were looking, you were gone. He started to look around for you when he saw Eleanor waving at Fab, and sure enough, you were next to her. What he didn’t expect was you dropping your dress to the ground. Time slowed down (and his heart sped up) as you stretched a little, and pulled out sweatpants from your bag.

Wow.

 You had on what looked like a bathing suit on underneath, and a few other people had done the same, but he knew that image would be in his memory, probably forever. His heart was beating in his ears and he knew he must be blushing.

“You okay, Paxton?” Fab asked, a seat or two away. Oh god, he didn’t want people asking why he blushed every time he looked at you! He muttered something about needing to make a call and headed for the doors. Don’t look back at her, don’t look back at her… His eyes involuntarily darted in your direction right before he left. You had on a flowy translucent jacket, your hair thrown back supermodel style as you fanned yourself to cool down. He needed to cool down too. Maybe a cold shower, a really cold shower.

~

You managed to find Eleanor just before she left. Two girls were with her, you had seen Fab once, and you’d heard a lot about Devi, but had never been introduced. 

You gave Eleanor her notes, and she hugged you.

“You’re a lifesaver!” 

“Of course, I-”

“Uh, who’s this?” you looked over, and the shorter girl - Devi, based on what you’d heard about her -  was giving you a weird look. You introduced yourself. 

“Nice to meet you. How do you know Eleanor?” said the taller girl - definitely Fab.

“Oh,” you smiled, “she’s my almost mother in law. And my arch rival,” you counted on your fingers, “my sister, my niece, my lover, my husband, and…” you trailed off, trying to think of the other dynamics your characters had had in past shows.

“Your co-conspirator.” 

“Right,” you laughed. Devi and Fab looked at you two.

“We’re in the musical together.” you clarified. You were about to part ways when you called to Eleanor, “Hey, we’re still on for running lines tomorrow night?” 

“Uh… Sounds good!” she walked away quickly, speaking to Devi and Fab in hushed tones. Something was definitely up. That was typical Eleanor Scheming behavior. 

~

That night, you almost couldn’t sleep. This wasn’t the normal post rehearsal can’t sleep. In fact, Tuck Everlasting was the last thing on your mind as you readjusted your pillows and snuggled into your duvet. You stared at the neon blue stars projected and swirling on your ceiling. You sighed. Again. Your brain was a 24/7 livestream of Paxton Hall-Yoshida to relax/study to. You saw him again, his face in the dimly lit auditorium, Adonis in a sea of faded seats. If you hadn’t been sure before, you knew now that red was definitely his color. You rolled onto your side. Your heart picked up speed as a thought crossed your mind. You could almost see Paxton now, kneeling next to you, his fingertips brushing your cheek. The piano underscore to “Seventeen” ran through your mind. You could imagine him saying “Wait with me, we could share the world…” so vividly it almost hurt. He leaned in, and… 

You let out a loud sigh and rolled over again. Your heart was fully saturated. That’s more than enough pining for tonight. 

~

“Paxton!” 

He was a little surprised when Eleanor just walked up to him at lunch the next day. Most people were too intimidated to approach him out of the blue. 

“I have a plan.”

“Uh, I don’t know what you-”

“Cut the crap, I know you like her.” 

His face blanched. Well, yeah of course he did. Who wouldn’t? He was going to ask Eleanor if there was something he could do to win you over, just not here, not now. Not where everyone could watch and jeer and rib him for it. Just like they were doing now. 

“Woah, dude, who is it?” Trent asked. He fumbled for words. He couldn’t believe this was happening. He hadn’t kept his crush a secret because he was embarrased of you, he’d kept it a secret because his dumbass friends wouldn’t get you. Hell, he barely got you. You were so deep, and emotive, and artistic... 

“Bro, if you like her as much as it seems like you do,” Trent continued, “you gotta win her over.” He was a little shocked at the agreement murmuring through his group of friends. He didn’t know how to respond. Trent turned to Eleanor.

“What’s the plan, drama mama?”

“First of all,” she said, an almost humorously dangerous look on her face, “never call me that again. Second,” she shoved some papers into Paxton’s hands, “meet me in the music room immediately after school.” She started back for her table. Trent looked back over to Paxton. 

“You gotta do it, dude. We’ll cover for you at swim.” 

The rest of his friends agreed. He was pleasantly surprised at how supportive they were being. 

“Yeah, I guess... we’ve got a plan.”

~

The next day went by pretty smoothly. No rehearsal was scheduled since they were finishing construction for some of the sets, but everyone was instructed to do a couple read throughs of the script, focusing on scenes they’re still forgetting, to make sure everyone’s off book. You stopped by 7 Eleven to get a blue slurpee (for homework) and a couple coconut waters (for run throughs). You texted Eleanor on your way to the slurpee machine. 

okay so do you like the mango coconut water or the pineapple one?? It’s the mango one right?? i always forget lmao

sent at 4:16 pm

btw I don’t have that much homework so you can probs come by around 5:30 if you’re ready by then

sent at 4:16 pm

Bae Tuck

OMFG!! I totally forgot about running lines tonight, I can’t make it! :( but I’ll send someone over to help you out. :)

sent at 4:17 pm

You squinted at your screen. That was weird. Eleanor never used colon parentheses smilies. Like, ever. She always used emojis, and usually way more than two per text. 

yeah np, are u good? ♡

sent at 4:17 pm

Bae Tuck

Yes :)

sent at 4:18 pm

Bae Tuck

Also get the passionfruit one 🥥🍠 👀

sent at 4:18

that’s,,, el that’s a sweet potato,,

sent at 4:19 pm

Bae Tuck

Close enough 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

sent at 4:19pm

...Okay? That was definitely weird. You shook it off and headed for the counter to pay. You stopped half way there, and turned back to swap the mango for passionfruit. 

Not long after you had finished your homework and tidied up your room a little, the doorbell rang. You exited the kitchen, drinks in hand, and opened the door. Your heart caught in your throat. Paxton Hall-Yoshida was standing outside. And you were pretty sure he looked nervous. You both just stood there for a second. No one breathed, no one spoke. 

“Uh, hi, do you want to…” you backed up, motioning for him to come inside. 

“Yeah, thanks,” he said, entering the doorway. Paxton motherfucking Hall-Yoshida was in your living room. You held out a hand to him.

“Coconut water?” he took the box, looked at the label, and smiled. 

“Yeah, thanks,” he said again, this time a faint, yet unmistakable note of joy in his voice. He took a sip. He smiled.

“Passionfruit’s my favorite.” You silently thanked Eleanor, who you knew must have planned all this. Most of the evening was a blur, and you thanked god your family wasn’t home right now. You went upstairs, texted Eleanor asking what the actual fuck, made some surprisingly comfortable small talk, then filled him in on how to run lines. 

“Do you think playing the soundtrack would help you… get into character?” he asked. 

“I would probably just end up singing the whole thing,” You laughed and tried to ignore the butterflies in your chest. The main scene you struggled with was before “Seventeen”. It was harder to get into Winnie’s head because you had no romantic feelings for Jonah, and you always just made each other laugh. You had started with a few easier scenes of Winnie and Jesse, like the fair, and the dialogue before “Top of the World”. 

“That was really good,” he said, and you felt the sincerity of his words. 

“Thanks…” you smiled and took a sip of coconut water, hoping you weren’t blushing too hard. 

“So what next?” he asked. 

“Probably the scene before ‘Seventeen’,” you said, giving him the page and scene number, “it’s one of the hardest ones for me. I guess I just can’t connect to Jonah the way Winnie does.” 

“Huh,” he said, skimming the page. When you looked up at him, he had something between a smile and a smirk playing at his lips. You made yourself look away before you got too distracted. You refused to think about the fact that you were sitting across from Paxton Hall-Yoshida on your bed, in your room, like you were… close with each other. His eyes skimmed the script, finding the dialogue. He glanced up at you and nodded, indicating he found his place. You began.

“I was so afraid you wouldn’t get away,” you said, jumping into character.

“I may be 102, but I can still outrun anyone,” a smile played at his lips. You smiled, then let your face fall.

“I’m so sorry, I-I tried to warn you-”

“No, no,” he interjected almost seamlessly, “It’s okay, it’s… refreshing having someone look after me who isn’t my mom.” His eyes flickered between your face and the page. You smiled with him for a second, then let distress cloud your face.

“Jesse… that man came by my house today. He heard the music box, he knows about you-”

“I know he knows…” 

You continued on with the scene and he trailed off when he came to the sheet music for the song Seventeen. You took in a breath to start the dialogue in the middle of the song, but before you could…

“Six years from now you will turn seventeen,

Turn seventeen,

The same age as me,

Six years from now,

Go to the spring,

Go to the spring and drink…”

He was singing to you. He was looking at you and singing to you. His eyes only flickered down to the page to confirm the lyrics. He was nervous, you could tell. But through his hesitance, the emotion in his voice was sincere. Your heart was beating faster. You didn’t even notice your pulse was ringing in your ears, you were too focused on Paxton. 

“I'll wait for you till you turn seventeen,

Turn seventeen,

The same age as me,

Six years from now,

Go to the spring,

Go to the spring and drink…” Your hand rose to cover your mouth. He hesitated, and you remembered your dialogue.

“Uh, wh-what if I… forget where the spring is?” He reached out and took your free hand in his. Your pulse was off the charts. “I’ll go get you some water. Just… remember to keep it somewhere safe. Somewhere no one will find it.” You got the feeling he wasn’t just talking about the water. You knew he had never really been in a serious relationship before, and it clicked suddenly - if he learned an entire song to duet with you, just how much he must like you. You exhaled a breathy laugh, unsure how to process the sudden euphoria you felt. 

“You make the world sound so… exciting. I just want to drink the water right now!”

“Uh, no. You have to wait.” you both smiled, anticipating the upcoming joke.

“Why?” you ask, “What’s the difference?” You held your breath as he tried not to laugh through the delivery of the punchline. 

“Believe me,” he rubbed his thumb over your hand, “there’s a difference.” You both chuckled, and he continued singing. You were so focused on him, so… touched that he would do all this for you. 

“Winnie, wait with me,

And we could be married,

Winnie, wait with me,

And we'll share the world,

Winnie, you can stop time,

And live like this,

Forever…”

“I could live like this forever,” you echoed.

“Live like this...” you sang in tandem.

“What do you say, Winnie? Do you want to…” he broke character suddenly, and asked, his eyes boring into yours, “Do you want to go out some time?” 

He could see the adorable smile blooming on your face, even from behind your hand. You nodded.

“Yes, I-I would love that,” and you began to sing the last line in the song, “Forever-” 

But before you finished holding out the note, his lips were on yours. His mouth moved slowly, intentionally, against yours. You followed his lead, flustered. He leaned further forward, his palm caressing your cheek. It was everything you imagined it would be, and you had quite the imagination. Your head was angled up and your hands rested themselves on his back, one tracing little shapes. Your shoulders were pressed against each other and neither of you could think. He was so warm. He tasted like coconut and passion fruit, and a distant part of your mind silently thanked Eleanor again. 

You really could live like this forever.

[smalltragedy]

* justice smith, demi man + he/they | you know gabriel de leon, right? they’re twenty three, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, six years? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to 1984 (infinite jest) by the used like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole waking up in a body as heavy as the dead, emotions always on the verge of spilling over - you laugh before the punch lands, the belief that every encounter you have will be the last thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is october 31st, so they’re a scorpio, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 21, est, they/them )

hi im just reposting gabe’s intro bc its been a very long time n im starting a little fresh hehe. yes i do regret the text color bt im not going back.

VIOLENCE TW

mini playlist.

ghosting ;; mother mother / roam the room ;; citizen / art of doubt ;; metric / thnks fr th mmrs ;; fall out boy / heart in a cage ;; the strokes / where is my mind? ;; the pixies / flowers grow out of my grave ;; dead man’s bones / 1984 (infinite jest) ;; the used / blister in the sun ;; the violent femmes.

statistics.

full name: gabriel de leon.

nickname(s): gabe.

birthday: october 31st, 1997.

zodiac: scorpio sun, scorpio moon, gemini ascending.

label: the icarian.

hometown: belleville, new jersey.

sexuality: bisexual (masc-leaning).

pinterest.

biography.

it’s only rly ever been gabe n his mom n the little new jersey suburbs that r always the same no matter where they go. they dn’t speak abt fathers or brothers or spain or anywhere other than the now, and how its constantly changing bt oddly the same.

his mom’s name is sonia n we love her. she worked a lot as a single mom n p much hs done everything on her own ever since leaving spain.

they dn’t talk abt spain bt we cn talk abt spain n hw sonia hd grown up partially there n partially in the states n hw she’d originally planned to live there forever bt the man she’d fallen in love with ws involved in some. high class dangerous shit n it ws safer fr them to part even if tht involved leaving everything she knew n loved <3

bt its like. ok. bc she hd gabe <3 n they dnt talk abt it so it practically nvr happened. n she tries her best as a mom n usually tht is enough.

they moved around a lot just bc sonia is a very. flighty person. anxious bt nvr seems tht way is just always. tense. gabe didnt think she ws capable of relaxing fr. a rly long time.

she wld commute 2 nyc every morning n after school gabe wld climb onto the train n by the time he got 2 her place of work she’d be just getting off n they’d get a slice of pizza n sometimes they’d go somewhere like central park or coney island (just fr the novelty) bt most of the time they just got back on the train home w/ gabe either doing homework or napping on her shoulder.

when gabe got a little older he’d sometimes skip school n take the train after sonia had already gone so he cld spend the day in nyc. he liked learning bt didnt rly like school. he nvr properly fit in bc of the amt of times they’d move so it felt like nowhere ws. right fr him.

got rly involved in. the punk scene as a young unsupervised teenager n tht led 2 a lot of like. shitty stick n pokes bt also a love of. very loud angry music n a sense of justice tht he held tightly in his fists. got mouthy towards bullies whether at school or in the scenes he involved himself in n started getting into a lot of fights bc of it.

during this, sonia ended up dating n marrying gabe’s stepdad who he calls craig sometimes bt i dnt think thats his name i wont lie to u guys. its partially a joke n partially purposeful disrespect bc gabriel does not trust a single man bt like. man. ‘craig’ is just an accountant. he’s fine he’s a good dude. they once bonded over like. the mets.

violence tw // anyways. when gabriel ws 16 he got into a super super bad fight tht ended rly. terribly n like listen. nobody died bt it ws just. it got blown up very out of proportion n gabe might’ve gotten expelled even tho he wsnt even the one who started it bt thts okay. ‘craig’, or paul, suggested tht maybe. a change of scenery wld b good fr gabe n b4 they knew it they were. moving to paul-robert’s hometown of irving, north carolina. violence end of tw //

he wld’ve complained more bt. fr sonia’s sake gabe kept it 2 himself. it made her happy 2 see them all get along anyways n like. idk he cld put forth tht little effort <3

bt honestly like. he didnt rly get into too many fights once they moved down here n even tho sometimes he ws like. ommgg. i hate this town .. its so washed up .. he still made friends n like. the only thing tht changed ws tht it ws a lil harder fr him 2 acquire illegal substances.

anyways. currently he hs a tattoo apprenticeship n is a professional piercer n like. he plays guitar n writes songs bt thts more of a hobby rn than anything else. mostly focused on paying his rent at port apartments bc as much as he. loves his mom he does not want 2 live with her forever <3 n thts okay!

personality & facts.

overall xtremely passionate person like god. feels emotions so intensely. every time he opens his mouth n talks abt an interest of theirs its just very like. u listen n ur like oh. gained 2 inspiration. thanks.

clings onto his friends p tightly bc he like. nvr rly stayed in one place fr super super long in new jersey so he nvr made very long term friends n now hes like. very clingy HLKDSHLKFSHLKDG also hates to b alone. subtle desperation behind interactions with ppl he rly wld like to be friends with.

like dnt get me wrong hes gotten into. sm fights bt thts mostly bc he cannot keep his mouth shut n he also cnt stand douchebags he like. always wants to tear them down prob bc he ws a victim of bullying. n u know what. we support him. otherwise he loves ppl bt esp if they hv similar interests 2 him.

like golden retriever who bites kind of. intensely loyal but at the same time is very skeptical. things tht good things do not last very long even though they’ve been doing already fr the last few years.

also bit of a nerd. they were nvr rly a big fan of school bt theres smth abt a good superhero comic tht draws their attention more than like. any english class evr. bt seven soldiers of victory? classic. big dc fan.

uh. very into like. hardcore music. hardcore rock. punk. if its loud n angry they r into it like so so much. hs sm tattoos is like. super covered in them its partially bc they work at a tattoo shop n partially bc they do not know hw to manage their money well.

ooohh u know what theyre. kinda moody i wont lie to u. very defensive like they dnt evr wna talk abt their past. has experienced Things n they do not wish to discuss them. will usually like. deflect frm conversations he doesnt wna hv.

in tune with nature. loves fkn taking walks. hangs out in the woods by abernathy creek n lilac ridge bc nobody rly goes there n its just. nice

tries not 2 take anything super seriously 2 the point where when he does take smth seriously its a little scary bc theyre super intense abt it. forcibly optimistic even tho on the inside he feels like a total pessimist. lots of. deep down insecurities tht he projects by attaching himself p firmly onto others. >.>

so so so energetic. can never stay still. always hs to be moving around. restless like tht. probably got it frm his mom. overly protective over the ppl he loves. probably got it frm his mom as well.

goes onto Tangents bt also divert frm those tangents n is generally all over the place.

always cold n always looks tired n like he hsnt slept in a thousand years n u know what. sometimes he just does not sleep.

oooohh theyre a vegan. totally into animal rights. devious little demi man beyond that .. loves horror n the paranormal n believes in like. every cryptic. will debate u on it.

erm not. the kindest 2 themself theyre a bit self destructive. impulsive. drives very fast n parties super hard. said i will hv my effy stonem moment. u dont hv to gabe.

bt ya! luvs oranges n reds n is maybe a short king. hs an eyebrow piercing n like. a lip ring i wont fk around here he IS living his best emo life in 2021. a little outdated on the trends bt thats okay. probably will tell u hes frm new jersey. its a personality trait. smokes the shittiest cigarettes ever.

wanted plots.

just ghosting along ,, dnt even exist 2 me ,, ;; god. firstly just the vast amt of ppl tht gabe hs like. spoken to romantically n then dropped suddenly. n then maybe like. one tht actually Hurt bt they cnt avoid each other bt theyre actively pretending each other doesnt exist n its. hurtful bc it ws like. actually smth nice bt <3 ykno FKLFSDHG

hey hey heyy c’maahn i’m just a little guy ;; n this is the vast amt of ppl tht gabe hs probably. pissed off n hs either fought or been on the verge of fighting just. unable 2 resist a good bicker-turned-duel.

just blistering in the sun ;; they cld b close friends bt also they cld also not b bt just ppl who. indulge in bad impulsive decisions with gabe. general bad influences on each other’s health n just. no good! party hard bt at what cost.

n also ;; like ... rly solid good friendships ... flings n maybe an exe or two tht either ended on good terms or just. horrendous, ppl they’ve distanced frm, ppl also frm up north, piercing customers, bt not tattoo customers bc im p sure they’d get fired if they were just tattoo’ing ppl willy nilly, etc.

[lake-arrius-caverns]

Nerevarine Rising

Chapter 7: Awakening

oops im seeing about changing my upload day to friday but yesterday i totally forgot abt it so lmao

summary After a successful assignment, Fahjoth is glad to be given a few days off and learns a little about his duties from Caius. The twins plan a trip to Vivec City for some exploration.

content warnings none

tag list @boulderfall-cave , @padomaicocean (lmk if you’d like to be added!)

read under the cut or on AO3, cheers 👍

:: First :: || << Previous << || >> Next >> || :: Masterpost ::

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Flouncing through the front door of Cosades’ tiny house, Fahjoth couldn’t wipe the grin off his face as he brandished the scrolls of parchment with glee. 

“I got them!” he cried, ecstatic. “The notes from Sharn gra-Muzgob! I got them!”

Cosades looked up from his supper with one brow raised, but by no means did he look on with disapproval. “And not a scratch on you,” he remarked, holding out a hand to receive the scrolls as Fahjoth passed them over. “I knew it wouldn’t be long before you found your feet. Well done, Novice.” 

“Well, I had help—” Fahjoth started, unwilling to take all the credit for his achievement, but Cosades didn’t seem to be listening anyway. He unfurled the scrolls and silence fell as he pored over them, a thoughtful look on his face as he examined the scrawling, loopy handwriting. Fahjoth took a seat at the table and waited, wondering what his next assignment was to be. At least Ribyna was on standby back at the South Wall Cornerclub, and for that, Fahjoth was grateful. 

“Well, Fahjoth,” Cosades started, rolling up the parchments once again and turning to face Fahjoth with the beginnings of a smile, “I’m promoting you to Blades Apprentice. You deserve it after the hard work you’ve put into all your duties.” 

Fahjoth’s heart began to soar with excitement. “Apprentice?” he repeated, awestruck. “Thank you, sir! So, uhh... what will I be expected to do now?” 

“Nothing too different, I assure you. It’s mostly a recognition thing, to be perfectly honest,” Cosades answered. He got to his feet, beginning to pace around the room in deep thought and occasionally stopping to check a book or scrap of paper, cross referencing several stacks of notes. Fahjoth wondered how he was able to keep track of it all. “Now, I'd like some time to think how this all fits in with the Emperor's plans for you. So if you'd like to get in a little freelance adventuring, go ahead. But whenever you're ready, I'll have new orders for you."

“Oh... alright.” The news came as a welcome surprise for sure. Fahjoth had to admit, he was glad to have a few days of downtime at last. It would be a good opportunity for him and Ribyna to do some exploring; she had mentioned wanting to visit Vivec City at some point, perhaps now they could finally go. 

But there was one thing that he had been growing more and more curious about; the subject of all his errands, the very reason he had been putting his life on the line in exchange for whatever information Cosades wanted. He knew nothing about any of it, and the burning desire to ask, to learn exactly why it was so important, could not be quashed. Maybe now was the time. 

“Sir?” he questioned, biting his lip with uncertainty. Cosades stared fixedly at Fahjoth, indicating that he was listening, and so Fahjoth continued — albeit with some hesitation. “Could you explain the... things that I’ve been getting information about? The, uh, the Sixth House and the Nev... Nevera... Neraver—“

“The Nerevarine,” Cosades finished for him, and Fahjoth nodded. “Of course. I forget that you can’t read well. We’ll start with the Sixth House.” 

Fahjoth shuffled in his seat, getting himself comfortable and listening with rapt attention as Cosades began to speak. “There isn’t much to say about the Sixth House cult just yet. A trusted informant of mine says they're a secret cult associated with some strange events recently. More importantly, my informant thinks these recent disturbances are related in some way to the Nerevarine Prophecies."

“And what are the—?”

“I’m getting to that part, Apprentice. One thing at a time. I’m not sure if you’re aware, but there’s been some attacks recently attributed to sleeper agents of this cult. Have you heard anything about them?”

Fahjoth shook his head. “No sir.” 

“There've been several attacks recently, and these Sleepers all say the same thing. ‘Serve your Lord, Dagoth Ur. The Sixth House is risen, and Dagoth is its glory.’”

A shiver suddenly tore through Fahjoth’s ribs, catching him by surprise. Why did that name sound so familiar? There was no distinct emotional response attached to hearing it, but the hairs on Fahjoth’s arms continued to stand on end, giving him prominent goosebumps. 

“Keep an eye out, and if you see anything suspicious, let me know.” 

“Yes sir.” 

“Alright, now for the Nerevarine.” Cosades rejoined Fahjoth at the table and took a swig of something from an open bottle before continuing. “The Ashlanders—“ 

“The what?”

“The Ashlanders— by the divines, Vetharys...”

Fahjoth grimaced, his cheeks burning with embarrassment. “Sorry...”

“No, it’s alright,” Cosades sighed. “I just thought you would’ve heard about them by now. I don't know much about them. Most people say they‘re murderous savages. But most people are idiots. I know they hate the settled Dunmer almost as much as they hate Westerners. I don't think their tribes tend to be particularly welcoming to outlanders, so watch yourself if you’re ever wandering in the Ashlands.” 

Fahjoth nodded, remaining quiet to let Cosades go on. 

“The Ashlanders pass down their customs and history in the form of poetic verses. Among the things they preserve in verse are the dreams and prophetic visions of their wise women, in particular the verses that foretell the coming of the Nerevarine. And before you ask,” Cosades added, seeing that Fahjoth was about to speak again, “some Dunmer believe that an orphan and outcast, a youth born on a certain day to uncertain parents, will one day unite all the tribes of the Dunmer, drive out the invaders of Morrowind, and reestablish the ancient laws and customs of the Dark Elven nations. They call this orphan and outcast the ‘Nerevarine’, and say they will be a reincarnation of the long-dead Dunmer General and First Councilor, Lord Indoril Nerevar. But... I don't know much else about it. That's why I'm sending you to find out.” 

Fahjoth nodded, fascinated by the sudden bombardment of information he was receiving. “And... it’s relevant to stuff that’s happening now? These cult attacks and whatnot? That’s why we’re investigating it?”

There was a split second where Fahjoth thought that Cosades may have paused, his stern grey eyes locked on Fahjoth’s own, but then came a perfectly normal response, leaving him wondering if he’d simply imagined it. 

“Correct.” 

Armed with this knowledge, Fahjoth suddenly felt inspired. So this was what all his top-secret missions had really been about. He still had no idea why he’d been pulled out of prison to join this endeavour specifically, but he no longer felt as much of a need to question it. This was his chance to make a difference, to do some real good in the world; it strengthened his resolve and he silently vowed to give it his all, regardless of how many errands he would end up having to run. 

“Alright. Thanks, sir.” Fahjoth rose to his feet, figuring he should go and find Ribyna and tell her the news, but Cosades leaned back in his chair and stared at him with such a dour look in his eyes that Fahjoth faltered.

“Don’t forget, Vetharys — always pay attention to what’s going on around you. You’re an agent of the Blades; information is our specialty,” he advised. “And never let your guard down. I don’t ever want to find you being sent back to me in a box.” 

Fahjoth cringed, feeling distinctly like he was being told off for the sheer amount of ignorance he had so openly displayed. Well, he had to learn somehow, didn't he? “Yes, sir… thank you, sir.” 

And with that he bade farewell to Cosades for now, scurrying out of the house before he could be admonished further, and made a beeline straight for the South Wall Cornerclub. Just as he rounded the corner and descended the short flight of stone steps between buildings, he found himself face-to-face with a familiar dark-haired figure, and coincidentally just the person he was looking for. 

“Ribyna!” he called, grinning as he got his sibling’s attention seconds before she stepped into the cornerclub. “Thought I’d find you here.”

“‘Sup, Fahji?” Ribyna turned away from the doorway and gave Fahjoth the usual hug of greeting. “You look happy. Has something happened?”

“I got a promotion!” he exclaimed without hesitation, eager to share the news. “And I got a few days off, too. I was thinking maybe we could do something.”

“Ah, well done, bro!” Ribyna congratulated him with a grin. “Yeah, I’m good for a few days. What did you have in mind?”

“Well, I thought maybe we could go to Vivec City? If you still wanted to go there, that is.”

For the second time that night, Fahjoth thought he detected a fleeting look of hesitation on the face of someone he was speaking to. This time it was Ribyna, who appeared almost apprehensive as soon as Fahjoth had mentioned going to Vivec City; but then her response was as casual as ever, leaving Fahjoth even more befuddled and debating with himself over whether he was just seeing things.

Maybe I’m just tired, he mused to himself. 

“Yeah, sounds good. D’you wanna leave now or tomorrow?” Ribyna asked. “If you like, I can go see how much the silt strider bloke charges.”

“Well, it’s getting on a bit, but…” Fahjoth paused, looking upwards and searching for the position of the sun, which was already past its highest point in the sky. He estimated that they had a few hours of daylight left, so ignoring the little voice of caution in his head, he made his decision. 

“Yeah, why not? Let’s go tonight. Could be fun to stay overnight in the big city!” Fahjoth enthused, and Ribyna nodded. 

“Alright! I’ll go find out how much a one way trip costs,” Ribyna said. “Start heading over towards the silt strider and I’ll meet you there!” And with that she tore off, racing over the bridge in the middle of town and zipping up the stairs to speak with the caravaner. 

With a quiet chuckle, Fahjoth shook his head and began to meander at a far more relaxed pace after his twin, passing by one of the townsfolk as he stepped off the bridge. He dipped his head and smiled in casual greeting, but the Dunmer gripped his wrist with such force that Fahjoth gasped in shock. 

He leaned in, his face mere inches from Fahjoth’s own, and Fahjoth could see only too clearly his strangely blank, vacant expression. His eyes, though unfocused, were glaring at Fahjoth with such a scorching intensity that he almost broke out into a sweat, his heart hammering rhythmically in his chest like a trapped sparrow, fast and fearful. 

And then he spoke, his voice gravelly and harsh, the sound of crumbling charcoal over burning ashes. 

“Beneath Red Mountain, Lord Dagoth sleeps. But when he wakes, we all shall rise, and the dust will blow away. Serve your Lord, Dagoth Ur. The Sixth House is risen, and Dagoth is its glory.”

Momentarily frozen, Fahjoth’s senses eventually returned to him and his first instinct was to yank his wrist free of the Dunmer’s grip, panting as if he had just run a marathon. The Dunmer jerked as Fahjoth tore free, and then within seconds, the blank look on his face melted away and he cleared his throat, glancing around as if confused. He then regarded Fahjoth with a perfectly normal, albeit rather sleepy stare. 

“What do you think of our city, outlander?” he asked mildly, but before Fahjoth could even think of a response, a voice calling his name caught his attention. 

“Fahji! C’mon, hurry up!”

His mouth dry, Fahjoth wheeled around and dashed after Ribyna, not stopping until he had caught up with his twin. Ribyna looked irate as she immediately began a short rant. 

“I’m not paying for that bloody silt strider. It’s a ripoff! And if we’re gonna stay in Vivec overnight, gods know how much the rooms are gonna set us back, too. Come on, we’ll walk instead—” She paused and frowned as she finally took in Fahjoth’s appearance, while he tried to calm himself down in the meantime. 

“What the fuck’s the matter with you? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” With a shake of her head, Ribyna corrected herself, “Actually, you weren’t even this pale when we did see a ghost. Did something happen?”

“A— a Dunmer,” Fahjoth began, his gaze rapidly flicking from left to right, half-expecting an attack to come out of nowhere. “A Dunmer stopped me and... and said a thing...” 

However, as he took in Ribyna’s attentive expression, he realised with a heart-wrenching disappointment that there was no way he would be able to explain any of it to her. Not without going into detail about the missions that Cosades had given him, which he had been strictly forbidden to do. He could lie, omit some elements of the truth, but then what would be the point in that? His voice trailed off into silence, leaving him awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. After a few seconds, Ribyna spoke up again. 

“Did he threaten you?” she asked, very seriously. “D’you want me to find this bastard and have a word?”

“No!” Fahjoth replied hastily. With reluctance, he took a deep breath and tried to swallow his anxieties, his gaze wandering down to his wrist as he rubbed it. There was no visible blemish, but somehow, he felt his wrist burning fiercely where the Dunmer had grabbed him. “It’s fine. It was probably nothing. Let’s just go to Vivec,” he added, “I could do with the walk, I think.”

It was clear from her expression that Ribyna didn’t believe him, but his tone of voice made it very clear that to question him further would only exacerbate the issue, and Ribyna relented. “Alright,” she said eventually. “But if you’ve got a problem, you can talk to me, okay?” 

“Yeah... I know. Thanks, Beebs.” Though he wanted nothing more than to confide in his twin, Fahjoth regretfully held back. He was alive, and that was the main thing; telling Cosades could wait until he got back. In his shaken state, he found it far too overwhelming to think about right now anyway, and so the two departed from Balmora and embarked on the considerable journey southwards to Vivec City.

[an-animagoose]

Abel info dump 2 me about ur ocs challenge

alright its 12am and i dont expect this to make sense, read at your own risk but heres a bullshit couple paragraphs on ashley underwood, 

this is mostly ash because i think about her the most and this will make no sense because i haven't talked about her in literal months. ash is very complicated to me because i messed a lot with her characterization for a while and i still do, and i constantly wonder if I'm just shoving her into something convenient and stereotypical and therefore lessening her value, and then i decided that shes not real and i can make characters that don't make sense to anyone else but myself and i no longer also have to watch someone else take away pieces from her while i sit silently confused and hurt like i did before. anyway, she's very special to me because i put myself in her in a lot of small ways because she was the first oc i properly created. i made her originally for a fantasy storyline i was doing with some friends, and i thought she was very cool because she could do magic (doctor strange-esque, im not original) and then i gave her some trauma because its the next logical step. now i mostly think of her in all the modern aus that were created, and a lot of its with her old love interest (they had a very cool dynamic, sometimes childhood best friends to lovers, both with no idea how to be functional members of society, but i dont know if I'm like legally allowed to discuss them anymore so if i mention it once or twice my bad i just like knowing how my ocs act in relationships).  i don't really know how I'm supposed to write things so I'm just going to put some general information and then ramble for a billion words cool sorry

general things!! shes a disaster bisexual whos 5′8″ and surviving on coffee and spite, she has freckles and tan skin (half Spanish on her mom's side- speaking of her parents died when she was 10 either in a car accident or a murder I didn't make my mind up) very curly brown hair and worrying bags under her eyes. she can look intimidating at first because she has one of those resting bitch faces and a dislike of being alive (there's a little bit of mental illness as a treat) also I'm really tired writing this I'm so sorry

she's an English major- she loves books, spent most her teenage years with her nose in one because it was easier than talking to people and also they're Fucking Good, she has shelves filled with them and two copies of her favourites so she can fill one with notes and annotations and she cries is she ever accidentally ruins one, she never sleeps when she should, staying up till the early morning and then napping at every chance she gets (she has fallen asleep on all of her friends so often, and never makes it through the second hour of the movie unless it's important), she starfishes when she sleeps and is a nightmare to wake up because she will tell you rather impolitely to “leave her the fuck alone” (getting out of bed means dealing with the world and it's so tiring to do it over and over), she’s constantly cold, wrapped up in sweaters and if she's comfortable enough, clings to the closets human heater. speaking of, it takes her a while to warm up to people, used to absolutely shut herself off from getting close to people in fear of them leaving before going to ~therapy~.  she gets top grades in school because she works until shes burnt out and puts an overwhelming amount of pressure on herself, breaks down when she cant understand something in the first few tries because it feels like a failure, she does debate and writes poems and lyrics in beat up notebooks, hides them when people come over and owns like 3 guitars, sings unreasonably well and has scarily specific playlists, has round glasses she only wears when she has to because she cant see shit far away, catches colds often, brushes them off till shes forced into a bed, she studies the stars because theyre beautiful and unattainable and reads psychology books and likes true crime but only when theres a satisfying ending, she shows love through acts of service and physical touch, likes receiving quality time and words of affirmation, she takes polaroids of all her friends and sticks a bunch to her wall so she can stare at them and know that things are worth it now, has posters and art to remind herself of the little joys in life, will fight you about the star wars movies, overly competitive in a lot of things (mario-kart is a dangerous fucking game), curses a lot, stress bakes and cries when something goes slightly wrong, accidentally collects a following on tiktok from shitposting at 4am and having a nice aesthetic (and being pretty), would be the mysterious girl who you see/works at the bookstore/coffee-shop and fall a little bit in love with, writes essays last minute due to chronic procrastination and still aces it, is a ravenclaw, would be a child of hades in the pjo universe, would play outside hitter in volleyball (yes there was a haikyuu au), would be bassist in a band. i think this is all i can think of tonight because my eyes hurt but feel free to ask questions/ say anything honestly i really missed talking about my ocs and i have: many more that i will also talk about if anyone wants me to, (please. my inbox is so open please tell me abt ur ocs too i think its so fun)

[crystallizedkingdoms]

could you talk more about the issue with the apple subplot in the last graduation episodes?

im pretty sure tumblr user themlet has a recent post abt it. but essentially this whole chapter plays on a trope of Stealing Sacred Item From ‘Primitive’ Tribe For Our Own Need trope. like Indiana Jones type stuff. yes, I understand why they “must” get the apple, but it still falls into the trope nonetheless. even the whole trope of “civilized men must tame the conflict of tribes that have gone on for generations that for some reason cannot be solved without said civilized men” can be found in this chapter. very bad missionary vibes which the McElroys have fallen into already, with Duck’s end of Amnesty.

and it’s especially frustrating since the apple literally plays a huge part in the centaurs’s belief system, and Argo specifically says, “Well, no. I'm just saying, they won't really suffer any harm if we take the apple. Right?” when Fitz questions if taking away their apple away will actually hurt the centaurs and their beliefs, cuz, “it‘s all... theological in nature, right?” (both literal quotes) it can’t possibly hurt those who cultivate and worship it, not when the authority needs it most! i mean, the centaurs only need it for theoretical beliefs, our problems are real, unlike theirs. silly little tribes, believing in their silly beliefs. (/s)

their initial judgement of the centaurs’s separate beliefs... then the introduction of “better” ways to do their tradition? it just gave off rlly bad settler vibes, even for their situation, even for a D&D game. this is a point I’m absolutely not willing to debate about for personal reasons. as a Native person i am Tired of narratives that have fantasy qallunaat try to push a “better” or “more ethical” tradition onto tribes. it’s tiring to hear that in both real life and fiction.

I cannot speak for the recent episode as a transcript hasn’t come out for me to read, so I can’t touch upon anything that might’ve happened in that episode.

this is just how i, as a native person, perceive it. and i sorta cut this down to keep it from getting too long and bc i have Brain Fog. the chapter just generally have off uncomfortable vibes from tropes that are so ingrained in our media that I’m not surprised four white men fell into it without question. not that that’s okay. I just rlly hope that the McElroys at least acknowledge it? esp since Travis rlly wants to do better when it comes to this kind of stuff.

[bastardnev]

Cheat Day

in which i inexplicably decided to write a fic about mustafa’s cereal-nutella-oreos breakfast combination

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: World Wrestling Entertainment, Professional Wrestling, All Elite Wrestling Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Mustafa Ali/Pac | Adrian Neville Characters: Mustafa Ali, Pac | Adrian Neville Additional Tags: damn i guess i gotta start tagging aew in my nevstafa fics huh, Fluff, Silly, mischief involving nutella and oreos Series: Part 1 of Jess Has Too Many Fics In Her Notes Summary: Neville wasn’t entirely sure what to make of the scene in his kitchen that morning.

(ao3 link)

i ended up making a new tag list bc its been so long since i last posted a nevstafa fic + i didnt wanna tag ppl who might not be interested anymore -- im going off the likes/replies to the post i made abt this yesterday so if you’re not on the list and you wanna be added lemme know !! i’ll add you 🥰

tag list: @sailor-slam-dunk @residentjoth @riveliciousx @lambchopviking @storyranger

Neville wasn’t entirely sure what to make of the scene in his kitchen that morning.

He had heard Mustafa get out of bed earlier, but he figured he was just going to get breakfast started — it was his turn, after all. Technically, he still was, but not at all in the way that Neville anticipated. Rather than finding him cooking the pancakes they’d agreed upon the night before, Neville instead walked in on him preparing a bowl of cereal in a large serving dish he’d placed on the island. This in itself wouldn’t have been so odd (other than his choice of bowl) if he didn’t follow up his milk pouring with a big search around the kitchen. He was rummaging through the cabinets that lined the walls for... for something. Something that Neville couldn't quite figure out, especially since the only thing he could plausibly be looking for was a spoon. What a can of olives had to do with anything, Neville had absolutely no idea.

And so, he choose to ask him about it. “What the hell are you doing?”

Mustafa glanced over at Neville quickly before putting the can back and going right back to his hunt. “Oh, good morning. Where’s your snack stash?”

Neville blinked, confused. “My what?”

“Your snack stash. Y’know, where you keep the snacks?”

“I— I know what a snack stash is, Mustafa.”

“Then where’s yours? I know you have one — everyone does. Fess up.”

What was he trying to do? The fact that he still hadn't given Neville a clear answer was a bit concerning. “What does it matter where my snacks are? Wait, forget about that, aren’t you supposed to be cooking pancakes?”

"Who said anything about me making pancakes?"

"You did. Just last night."

"Ehh, that was just pillow talk."

"You told me about how badly you were craving them when we were eating dinner." Why would they be discussing pancakes during pillow talk, of all things?!

Mustafa scoffed, and he offered no further response other than continuing to push aside the items stacked up on the shelf. "Are you planning on answering my question at all?" Neville crossed his arms. "What are you doing?"

“You'll see!" Mustafa responded when he finally decided to speak again. "I’ve got something even better than pancakes in mind."

Mustafa placing a breakfast food above pancakes was almost enough for Neville to consider the idea that he'd been replaced with an imposter. Almost. “And, that is...?”

“A secret — until you tell me where your snack stash is, of course.”

Neville sighed, rolling his eyes. He knew there was no getting out of this no matter how hard he tried. “Oh for the love of God, it’s the one under the microwave,” he at last confessed.

“The only one I didn’t check!” Mustafa grinned, and he darted over to the appropriate cabinet, digging around excitedly. “Ooh, you’ve got a lot of good stuff in here!”

“No need for the commentary, just take what you need.”

“You’re pretty defensive over your candy, huh?”

“You’ve got the biggest sweet tooth out of anyone I know — how can I not?” Now that he thought about it, seeing as Mustafa now knew where he hid all of his sweets, Neville would probably have to find a new hiding spot once this visit was over...

“Hmm.” Mustafa pouted as he moved a variety pack of mini candy bars aside. “You bought the Oreos I asked for, right?”

“Of course.” Like Neville honestly wasn’t going to do so after Mustafa practically begged him to pick some up when he went on his most recent grocery run.

“You do love me!” The package of cookies in his hands, Mustafa triumphantly brought it over to the island, pulling back the seal.

“Can you tell me what you’re doing now?”

“Patience, Nev! Geez. You can’t rush these things, you know?”

Neville wanted to retort, but the distinctive crunch of Mustafa crushing a fistful of Oreos over the serving dish interrupted him, and all he could do was watch in silent awe (and confusion). Mustafa repeated this process over and over again, unblinking, until he’d gone through one of the sleeves. “There...” He muttered, sealing the pack back up and putting it aside. “Now for the last part...”

Last part? Neville found himself a little afraid to say this out loud. His question received an answer anyway, however, as Mustafa then returned to the cabinet, pulling out the large jar of Nutella that Neville was secretly hoping he wouldn’t notice. (Man goes through jars quicker than I can count.) "Not really much I can work with here..." Mustafa mumbled as he put the lid aside, looking at the jar's contents. "You ate it all on me. Naughty boy."

"I'm... sorry?"

"Better be." Mustafa then went to the silverware drawer and pulled out a big spoon, and before Neville could wrap his mind around what was happening he'd scooped out a healthy amount. "This'll work, though."

"What—"

Neville wasn't able to finish this sentence, as just as he was going to Mustafa let the Nutella drop right on top of his cereal. Neville looked back and forth between the bowl and Mustafa, who appeared to be debating what to do next with his messy spoon. Rather than put it in the sink like Neville assumed he would, however, he shrugged, dipping it into the bowl.

It was right as he was about to put a spoonful of cereal into his mouth that Neville decided to go through with asking his question. "Okay, what the hell?!"

Mustafa paused, spoon hanging in the air. "What?"

"What is this..." Neville gestured towards the bowl, trying to find the right words to describe what he was seeing. "This... concoction?"

"It's... my cheat day breakfast?" Mustafa said this as if it were the most obvious thing ever, like he couldn't understand why Neville so was baffled. "Duh?"

"How did you even come up with this?"

"Easy — I woke up one morning, couldn't decide what I wanted for breakfast, so I just mixed everything I wanted together. It's better than you think it is, really."

Neville pointed to the package of Oreos. "You wanted to eat those for breakfast?"

"You haven't thought about eating cookies for breakfast before? What are you, an amateur?"

"And— And the Nutella, what were you planning on doing with that if you hadn't thought to throw everything together?"

Mustafa didn't respond, instead choosing to avert his gaze. Suspicious, Neville followed up with, "You weren't seriously considering eating it straight from the jar, were you?"

Mustafa made eye contact with Neville again, and neither of them said anything for a solid few seconds. Eventually, though, Mustafa shot Neville a sheepish grin, and the latter brought his hand to his forehead, slowly shaking his head. "Oh, God..." He let out a breath. "All this, yet you still have those abs..."

"I sure do." Mustafa brought the spoon back to the cereal and mixed it up a bit. "Now, maybe instead of pickin' on me you can come give this a try. You might like it."

"I have no use for any of that."

"False — everyone needs this in their lives."

"Not everyone needs something loaded with sugar so early in the morning."

"What are you gonna have instead, then? Egg whites?" Mustafa shuddered at his own suggestion, and he held a spoonful out towards Neville, who leaned away. "You know you want toooo..."

Neville looked at the spoon with a narrowed gaze. He knew damn well that he gave in to Mustafa way too often (something about the look in his eyes, he figured). He'd told himself that he would stop being such a pushover when it came to him, and this seemed like the perfect opportunity for him to stick to his word for once. Mustafa wanted him to try some food combo that he swore was amazing, something that Neville thought was completely ridiculous. He would be lying if he said he found it to be anything but.

...But he would also be lying if he said that he wasn't at least a little curious as to what Mustafa saw in it. Not to mention that he was giving him the dreaded eyes...

Neville said nothing. Instead, he took a few steps closer to Mustafa, allowing him to put the spoon into his mouth. "There we go..." Mustafa took it out a moment later, giving Neville a second to chew and swallow before asking, "It's good, isn't it?"

It was. "It's fucking disgusting."

"Liar, liar..." Mustafa singsonged, and Neville huffed. There was no point in denying it.

"Maybe you're right..."

"Ha! I knew it."

"Why do I always agree to go along with your nonsense..." Neville lamented, and Mustafa chuckled, leaning over to give him a kiss.

"Because you love me," he replied as he pulled away, and Neville struggled to hide the little fond smile that forced its way onto his face.

"...Yes, I do."

[macbookpro-hard-drive]

control [jeremy h. x squipped!reader] pt.3

did you know that tumblr no longer has those lil.. lines that i liked to separate my notes from my fic with? i didnt. until now. unbelievable.

SO NOW I HAVE TO SUPPLY MY OWN and hopefully this is fine

anyway. ive been... dead for a while. summer destroyed all motivation to do Anything, but ive been forcing myself to write on and off and this part feels... shorter than it should be, but

anyway! i am alive! i have plans! i have things to write! some of them are never going to be on this blog bc theyre original works, but im always open to talk abt them skdfhdsfh

warnings: uhhhhhhh vague manipulation, and i think thats it? just general. squip. yea.

         The last time you had seen Michael Mell as a friend had been the beginning of sophomore year. He and Jeremy sat on either side of you in his basement, clutching controllers and halfheartedly playing video games. Soda went untouched and unopened, snacks left alone, and too many times had Jeremy lost on games he knew like the back of his hand. The air had been stiff and uncomfortable, and the feeling had seeped into your nerves and bones to make your stomach turn at the thought of staying longer. Jeremy wasn’t quite there, and Michael was trying too hard to be extra present to make up for it. He became doting on the two of you - quick to refill a snack bowl that had barely been touched with Jeremy following him out of the basement. That was when you found your phone and called your parents, asking if they could come pick you up - bullshitting some excuse about how you felt sick. When Michael came down, he saw you packing up your things with a half-assed apology and a shitty acting job before you tore up the stairs and nearly rammed into Jeremy in the process. Your chest had tightened as you pushed past him with a quick apology and went to wait on the front steps outside for your mom to come get you.

          That had been the beginning of the end. After that day, Jeremy had slowly stopped talking to you almost completely. Michael had tried to patch things up, to keep things going, and then he just stopped abruptly. To make things worse, you had broken down at school a few weeks after everything went silent, because you’d been alone. You wiped at your face roughly with the sleeve of your hoodie, and left the bathroom. Barely seconds after you had turned the corner to head to class, you ran straight into him - headphones on and head down - only for his gaze to find yours the moment you stumbled back. He opened his mouth to speak, and you stumbled through a rough, shitty apology before you pushed past him and onward to your class. And then you avoided him purposefully, not wanting to address that little moment of weakness you had.

          And now you were sitting in front of him, eyes red and tears streaming down your cheeks as you struggled to find your voice. Your back pressed into cold metal, the lockers clanging behind you as you pulled away and tried to say something, anything to explain yourself. But Michael just stared at you, uncertain about what to say to you. Your legs were like stone, almost as if something was keeping you from darting away, from finding a safer place to land and cry and get over the tears forced from your body.

          “[y/n]?” Michael finally said, still staring at you. The lights overhead gleamed off his glasses and headphones as he pulled them down and around his neck, music loud enough for you to hear. He gave you a quick once-over, his attention now fully on you. “You okay?”

          You went to nod only for another sob to overtake you instead. “I don’t know why I’m crying,” you admitted after a moment, voice shaking and broken. And it was sort-of true.

          “Are you sure?” He said, “hey, I, uh, I know I sorta stopped talking to you and that was kinda shitty but... I’m still here if you need someone to talk to, alright?” After a moment, he tacked on another thought, “do you need a ride home?”

         Immediately, you didn’t want to say yes. It didn’t feel right to. But you’re already nodding before you can debate anything further. “Yeah,” you said slowly at first, reaching up and wiping at your eyes. Realization hit you quick. Your bag. “Shit.”

         “What’s wrong?”

         “I, uh, kinda left my bag in the auditorium.” You hesitated to step away - you didn’t really want to go back and make an excuse to leave, to let anyone see you with puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks. “Michael... can you-”

         “On it,” he gave you a small, two-finger salute, “I’ll be back in a sec!”

         As Michael took off down the hallway, you felt a pit develop in your stomach while he disappeared around the corner. Nothing felt right. You looked around for a moment, acutely aware of how silent everything had gone. When your SQUIP materialized in front of you, you avoided its gaze as you wrapped your arms tighter around yourself for a moment. The world felt a little colder, a little dimmer, and everything was off. The sound of Michael’s approaching footsteps minutes later played the steady beat for your incoming guilt-induced breakdown, and yet the boy smiled at you - as if nothing was wrong. Maybe that was because it looked like nothing was wrong. The strap of your bag was tossed over his shoulder, bouncing against his own backpack, and yet he looked at you like you were still friends.

        “Thanks,” you finally said as you reached for your bag.

        Michael stepped back, “I’ve got it,” he said with a smile, “don’t worry.”

       You let your arm fall back to your side, only to then shove your hands into your pockets. “Thanks,” you said, avoiding eye contact for a moment.

       The walk to Michael’s car was mostly quiet, with concerned glances thrown your way every now and then - that, when you caught then, were met with insecure smiles at the situation he’d been pulled into. Which.... frankly, threw you off a bit. Michael had always been the one who was better with all this feelings shit - you and Jeremy had the unhealthy habit of bottling everything up. And now Michael walked in step with you, still warm as ever - and still wearing that damn red hoodie you swore he showered in, but it still made you smile because of course Michael still took good care of it. When you hesitated for half a step upon seeing his P.T. Cruiser, he looked back at you before you shot him an uneasy smile and continued towards the passenger side. One of his moms must have given it to him - whether for his birthday or as a gift for passing his driver’s test, you weren’t sure. But the seats were still well-worn, a Pac-Man sticker stuck on the head-rest of the driver’s seat that Michael had stuck there when bored out of his mind. It was worn with age, like you’d expect it to be, but you suppressed a small smile at the fact it was still there.

      If the walk to Michael’s car had been quiet (with the occasional snippit of Michael saying something about how he still feels bad about what happened between the three of you, or about how he’s kinda sorry about the walk to the back of the parking lot) then the ride to your house was dead silent. Music flooded through the car speakers, Michael’s phone resting in your lap due to him pushing it in your direction and telling you to play whatever you want, and his attention was fully on the road - the sound of his phone’s GPS spitting out directions every so often to guide him. You watched out the window, a small sense of dread resting in your stomach the entire way, and for some reason... you felt sick.

      When the car started to roll to a stop, Michael reached up and turned the music down. “Hey, uh, you still have my number, right?”

      You blinked at him for a moment, before pulling out your phone. “I, uh, think so?” You opened your contacts, flipping through them, “I don’t think I deleted it or anything-”

      “Good,” he smiled at you, “if you ever wanna hang out, I’m, uh, pretty free since Jeremy’s busy with this whole.. play... thing.” He paused for a moment, only to follow it up quickly with “I mean if you aren’t doing anything, since - I dunno, you aren’t apart of the cast so-”

      “Okay,” you cut him off, “yeah, sure - I’m only painting the set for it, so... I’ll probably try to do that during lunch.”

      “I, uh,” he began, nodding towards your jacket, “I like your pin. Have you ever played the old shit?” When you shook your head, he was filled with excitement. “Dude. You have to come over then. I’ve got the classic Zelda stuff if you wanna play.”

      Running a hand through your hair, you just sort-of nodded in response as you opened the car door, swinging your bag over your shoulder. “Thanks for the ride, Michael.”

      You closed the car door, taking a few steps back as he pulled off and drove away, before you turned and head up to your house - pausing to notice your parent’s cars were missing. Right. Letting your bag fall down to your elbow, you began to fish through it to find your keys tucked away in the bottom of your bag, and you nearly sent the contents of your bag spilling when you went to pull it back to your shoulder. But with lightning reflexes that weren’t your own, you managed to snap into action and pull it shut before anything could spill - and when you looked up, your SQUIP was standing before you.

      Huh. “... Thank you?” You zipped your bag back up, letting yourself into your house.

      “You should stick to hanging out with Michael,” your SQUIP said, watching you head into your bedroom

      Dropping your backpack onto your bed, you shrugged at the idea as you began to search for your homework. “I mean, sure, he’s still a cool guy-”

      “Michael is close to Jeremy,” it said, as if the fact wasn’t obvious, “therefore, if you get closer to Michael, you’ll get closer to Jeremy.”

      You stopped. “Isn’t that using Michael?”

      “You were friends with him before. It’s rekindling your friendship that just so happens to mean you’ll rekindle something with Jeremy.” It said, “you aren’t manipulating him.”

      You shook your head, setting one binder down and searching for another. “I don’t really like this,” you said, “I don’t want do hurt Michael or anything-”

      “Why would you be hurting him by being friends with him?”

      Thinking it over, you finally nod a little. “... I guess you’re right,” you looked down at the textbook in your hands. “It just feels wrong-”

      “Don’t feel, [y/n],” it stepped beside you, turning your head to meet it’s steely gaze. “Just listen. I’m here to help you.”

      Reluctantly, you nod. “... Right.”

      So you did. The next day, Rich fell into step beside you - inviting you to stop acting like a loner and to sit with him and Jake and the rest of his friends. You debated taking him up on the offer for a moment, only to spot Michael sitting alone in a corner of the cafeteria. You declined immediately, not looking back as you crossed the room to join Michael. That became your routine - sliding into a seat near Michael, talking about video games and whatnot, and occasionally letting the topic slip to Jeremy as Michael had the habit of occasionally venting about the boy.

       “I mean,” he started one day, pointing a fork in your direction, “you remember how he is. He’s just... so in love with her,” he shook his head, “and, I mean, yeah, it’s Christine, but he could, y’know... not abandon me every day.”

      You nodded, “I’m sure he’s just blinded by his crush, Michael.”

      He nodded, stabbing into his burrito bowl, “I know...” He trailed off, looking away for a moment, “I just... he’s excited about this and - and that’s great! He’s actually sort-of talking to Christine!” He smiled back at you, “every time he talks about her, he gets that stupid look on his face. He practically has heart eyes, [y/n].” He paused for half a beat, “but... y’know, I can’t blame him. He keeps talking about how she’s been helping him with his lines, and that she’s so passionate about theatre...”

      You couldn’t help but smile a little at that. From your limited interactions with Christine, she seemed to be a complete sweetheart. No wonder Jeremy liked her.

      “In time, he’ll like you more.” It nudged it’s way in between your thoughts, “as long as you do what I tell you to. I’ve got a plan-”

      Resisting the urge to roll your eyes, you busied yourself with your lunch. “Sure, buddy.”

      The stern silence that responded to your tone spoke volumes. But like a knife through butter, Michael’s voice washed away the slight tension you’d begun to feel: “hey, do you still draw?”

      You perked up at the question, turning your full attention back to Michael, answering with a far-too chipper “yes!” You immediately forced yourself to calm down, “yeah, I, uh, I still do. My art’s changed a lot, though,” you kind-of smiled, “I have a, uh, pretty decent following online now. I’m just glad I get to do what I love.”

      Snagging his phone from his pocket, Michael went silent for a moment as he opened up his tumblr app. “There’s this artist that Jeremy and I discovered - they seem really fucking cool, dude, and they seem like someone you’d like-”

      And then you were met with your own artwork, tagged with your online alias, and you had to resist the urge to immediately spill that he’d found you online after you remade your account. You could feel your SQUIP’s fingers gripping your shoulder, and you bit your tongue as you nodded, giving some half-hearted answer about how they seem cool, sure, before wondering why it had stopped you from saying anything.

      You didn’t address it until later. Halfway through your homework, you looked up and pushed yourself away from your desk. “Hey.” You spoke aloud. 

      Within seconds, your SQUIP proceeded to materialize in front of you. “You’re speaking aloud-”

      “I know,” you said with a hand wave, “my parents are still out. What was up with that earlier?”

      “You shouldn’t go around saying things-”

      “But it’s Michael,” you refuted, “I trust him. Besides - wouldn’t telling him that get me closer to Jeremy?”

      It’s cold gaze made you shrink under pressure. “I have a plan. [y/n]. If you want to get Jeremy, you have to obey.”

      “What about what I want?” You forced yourself to stand your ground, staring at the figure before you, “what if I want to do things differently?”

      “You bought me for a reason.” It crossed its arms, watching you, “this is what you want, though. That’s why I’m here: to help you get what you want. And what you want is Jeremy. I’m going to help you get Jeremy, but I can’t do that if you don’t trust me, [y/n].”

      Pressing your lips together, you mustered up a weak nod. Right. “Sorry,” you finally said, “I just - I’m scared it’s not going to work.”

       “It will.” 

        When Michael invited you over the next day, you were more than happy to take him up on the offer. He began to reason it as well, Jeremy’s at play practice, before he ended up dropping the facade and admitting he still kind-of missed you and that it’d been a while since he’d kicked your ass at video games (and, fuck, the glimmer in his eyes when he said that was enough to make you agree, and you realized in that moment just how much you actually missed Michael). So he drove you to his house, letting you take complete control of the music, and then he left you in the basement to find any games you’d be interested in while he grabbed some snacks from the kitchen.

       While the two of you played, you talked idly when the situation would allow it. About anything. About everything. About trips Michael had taken with his moms, about his and Jeremy’s brand new Halloween tradition of watching horror movies - usually the shittier ones - and gorging on candy, about how your parents always seemed so busy (and almost immediately Michael offered up his house for whenever you didn’t want to be alone, and you melted a little at the offer). The entire time, the room felt too quiet, even among the conversation and the music of each game. At first, you thought it was because Jeremy was missing. Things didn’t feel right without him. But it hit you, right as you were laughing at something Michael said.

       “Hey!” Michael brightened up at his idea, “you should join us.” When you looked over, slightly confused, he continued, “the, uh, Halloween thing? You should join our marathon.” 

       You faltered for a moment, looking down at your controller. Your voice isn’t your own as you speak, saying some sort of confirmation that felt too distant for it to be you. The guilt built within you, as you pushed yourself to hide the feeling while turning your attention back to the game, back to beating Michael this round. But the thought lingered.

       You were using Michael Mell.

[hwangskz]

call me by your name | boyfriend(s)! minsung

there's no way that i can watch a beautiful movie and not write an au abt it

• it was in the summer of 2016 when they first met

• they both were standing outside the swimming center, waiting along with other strangers, for the door to open

• when suddenly it was announced on a huge microphone that was placed on the counter, that the no more space is left for any other customer to come in

• and obviously everyone was annoyed

• jisung sat down with his back against the wall of the building

• "i really should've stayed at home in the ac.."

• "me too"

• jisung looked up to see a beautiful man looking down at him and smiling

• "hello"

• "....hi?"

• minho sighed as he looked around to see no one else there, as jisung's eyes followed his movements

• "well..im kinda free today and have nothing better to do, so like.. do u wanna get something from the convenience store?"

• jisung knew he shouldn't go around w strangers

• but CHAN DIDN'T SAY TO REFUSE CUTE STRANGERS' OFFERS (▰˘◡˘▰)

• (jisung ur gonna get urself killed someday like this istg,,,,)

• "sure"

• so they were on their way to a convenience store

• and it was pretty? quiet?

• minho was ok w it. he wasn't much of a speaker anyway

• but jisung,,,,, THIS BOY !! had to make a conversation

• "it's pretty.. hot rn,, isn't it?"

• "yeah"

• minho went back to looking around them, searching for THAT ONE air-conditioned convenience store he saw on his way to the swimming center

• and this BUGGED THE FUCK OUT OF JISUNG JDHSGD

• he would've been ok with shutting tf up but he thought the other didn't like his company?? (even tho minho was literally the one who asked him to come to the store w him JSHSH)

• and it didn't help that he was an extremely cute boy ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥᷄⌓˂̣̣̥᷅ )‧º·˚

• Jisung's First Impression Self-Coordinator can u shut up jisung is alrdy anxious w having this beautiful man beside him AND GUESS WHAT U R NOT HELPING!!!!!!

• all this time jisung kept thinking abt what discussion topics there were to exist so that he can talk to him

• "debate? nah arguing isn't a good first impression.."

• "global warming? it's all around social media with fake woke people anyways jisung what are u trying...."

• "the summer? i mean we kinda alrdy did.."

• and ALL THIS TIME jisung didn't even have a single clue that he was speaking this out loud

• and yes minho had heard it all

• he laughed quietly which caught jisung's attention

• "????? did something happen ?????"

• minho tried to not smile at the cute boy and shook his head no

• he looked beside him one more time and

• "!!!! BITCH I FOUND IT !!!! COME ON!!!!"

• "?? what-"

• jisung was ABSOLUTELY thrown off when the cold air hit him

• "OH MY GOD THIS IS SO AMAZING WOE THANK U STRANGER"

• "just call me minho"

• minho told him to get a seat for the both of them while he got a strawberry and a chocolate milk, one for him and one for jisung, and then proceeded to pass him his drink as he held his in his hand and sat down opposite to jisung

• as jisung slurped his drink, minho had head on his palm and watched the other

• jisung looked up to see the other looking at him Like That and his heart probably did something too

• "w-why are u looking at me like that?"

• "u still haven't told me ur name"

• "...han jisung"

• "cute"

• minho, satisfied, picked up his drink and slurped it

• and jisung just.. sat there looking at his new friend

• and probably crush

• "what year were u born in?"

• "........2000....why"

• "oh,, so i'm 2 years older than u..hm..."

• "why do u ask tho"

• "trying to see something"

• "see what"

• he smirked as he held his head in his palm again and looked up at jisung

• "maybe the universe wants us to be together"

• jisung felt his cheeks heat up and minho chuckled at the sight of his red cheeks

• "has anyone ever told u that it's pretty wildt to flirt with someone when u have just met them"

• "has anyone ever told u how pretty u look when ur blushing"

• "i- !!!!!!!!!! MINHO PLS"

• days went by really quickly

• and soon they were best friends

• hung out at each other's places and stole food

• had movie marathons

• fought for the slice of pizza and the last piece of chicken

• u name it

• and like a routine, they were at the convenience store

• but today? they ran out of strawberry milk AND chocolate milk

• what misery o(╥﹏╥)o

• so instead he just got a chocolate cake for jisung

• "?? why this sudden change in menu??"

• "it's only for today. they ran out of all flavored milks today so i got this instead, because u once said that u loved chocolate cakes"

• ":0......thank u......"

• jisung got the cake and started having small bites of it when he looked up to see minho smiling at him; nothing in front of him

• "why aren't u eating?"

• "i don't like chocolate cake so ill probably just eat something tomorrow when i wake up bcs im too tired to make anything today"

• "but won't u get too hungry (・_・) ? by then (・_・) ?"

• "eh, it's fine"

• jisung was NOT having it

• "wait ill just buy u some fire noodles"

• "u don't need to do that"

• "BITCH?????? U WILL DIE DONT DO THAT TO URSELF!!!! EAT!!!!"

• "jisung that frown doesn't look good ur cute face pls.."

• "then LET ME BUY U THE DAMN RAMEN U BUFFOON"

• "... ok"

• jisung got the ramen and poured some hot water in it and covered it, followed by placing in it front of minho

• "here u go"

• ".. thank u"

• there was complete silence before jisung spoke up again

• "do me a favor and..... kinda tone it down? ur compliments towards me at the slightest of things.. i mean.."

• he didn't mind it, really

• "did that make u uncomfortable-"

• "no,, it just does something to my heart"

• minho looked him in the eye

• "what do you mean?"

• jisung gave him a sad smirk

• "i thought u will know to take hints like this the best."

• minho looked down; he did know what it meant, just too scared to come out

• jisung sighed and pointed at the cup of ramen

• "eat up. it's ready."

• after they were done at the store, they walked towards the bus stop, just like everyday

• but something seemed different today

• they stood still when they reached the bus stop, waiting for the bus to appear so that minho can reach his place

• "about that thing i said earlier.. i'm sorry"

• minho turned his head towards jisung

• "what are u talking about?"

• "about the thing with compliments.. i'm sorry if that made u uncomfortable.. or dislike me in any sort of wa-"

• jisung was cut off with minho's lips on his, and his hand behind jisung's head

• minho pulled away and looked at him

• "i could never, ever, hate u."

• and that's how, fast forward to a month later, right now, they ended up in the same bed

• with jisung's face pressed to minho's chest as his head rests on jisung's head, gently stroking through his hair

• "jisung.. i can't believe it's been so long since we met, you know?"

• jisung only hummed

• "and i'm so glad i got the courage to confess to u that day.. otherwise this, us, it wouldn't have had happened"

• "yeah"

• minho slid down to match jisung's height and gently smiled at him, jisung returning one

• "call me by your name, and i'll call you by mine."

• "jisung."

• "minho."

• they both exhaled and chuckled

• when suddenly

• "jisung?"

• "yes?"

• minho sighed and closed his eyes shut one more time before opening them and staring at jisung with determination

• it was gonna be a big day for him

• "i am in love with you, han jisung."

• jisung's breath hitched

• he should've seen this coming

• so jisung only sadly smiled and pressed a gentle kiss on minho's forehead before getting up and sitting on the foot of the bed, causing a confused minho to get up too

• "..jisung?"

• jisung looked back at minho one last time before saying

• "maybe the universe doesn't want us to be together."

[astereaholloway]

- ̗̀ * ( sophie turner + cisfemale + she/her ) have you seen ( aster holloway ) walking around campus ? they are a ( twenty-one ) year old, studying ( botany + entomology ). we hear they are in ( theta sigma eta ), and can be ( opinionated & daunting ), maybe it’s because they are an ( aries ). they sort of remind us of ( abandoned greenhouses, spinning bike wheels , iridescent pocket knives ), maybe we can find out more ! *  ̖́-  + habitat

i yeet’d holliday for this child o’ mine pls love her bc i love her sm i’ll prolly change her fc to sophie turner as soon as i get tired of cropping gifs of saoirse but enjoy her face for now sksksk. like this n i’ll come to u!!

tw: fire, death, cancer, etc. etc.

gen. info

full name: aster holloway

nickname(s): n/a, give her one n she’ll cut you probably

b.o.d. - april 1st.

label(s): the hellcat, the minefield, the connard, etc. etc.

height: probably like 5′7″ or 5′8″ tbh

hometown: inglewood, california

sexuality: chaotic. lesbian.

bio. info

hasn’t had the most......stable, life

born to dahlia verbeck, a botanist, wildlife conservationist, and volunteer firefighter whose presence was very well known in south california’s environmental scene

to keep a long story short, she married maverick holloway; a sleazy low-rank cop with a smoking problem and an obnoxious personality when she was 19. he was nearly twice her age. nobody knows why she married him, or why she tolerated him

the relationship was by no means abusive, but it was lackluster

this led to dahlia having a one night stand, and baba boom baba bing, aster was conceived

 the only one who knew that the child wasn’t maverick’s was dahlia’s twin brother, donovan, whose career was p much the exact same as dahlia’s

they were basically both mad scientists; when dahlia started slacking because of her pregnancy, donovan would kick it up

like ykno the twin scientists in bioshock infinite ?? that them like they were eerily alike, always finishing each other’s sentences. nightmare fuel.

the only difference was that donovan was considerably less intense than dahlia b/c dahlia was the kinda lass who would set fire to your car

anywAYs so aster was born and everything was fine n dandy until she got a lil older and it suddenly became clear that this child was absolutely not maverick’s at all because they looked. nothing alike. like u know when u can just tell ?? yeah. yeah u could tell

maverick left dahlia afterwards and it was essentially up to her to raise aster alone. donovan had his own wife and kid to take care of and sort of backed down from his career to do so. house dads ftw

aster grew up knowing her dad as some ‘deadbeat no good’ simply bc dahlia was bitter

also grew up as the kid who would hold worms over another kid’s face and taunt them w/ it. so like, playground bully. that was aster. she’s not ashamed of it

she was often left on her own to do her own kinda shit b/c her mom was always busy out in nature n’ shit but aster never minded; loved her mom a Lot

aster’s life changed when she was nine

her mother had been doing research out in the ~wilderness~ with donovan, after months of convincing him of doing this one last project with her~ when the wildfires started

it spread so fast, and they were already too far away from the road

it took them two months to confirm that the twins were dead

rather than leave aster to maverick, elaine--donovan’s wife--took her under her wing and moved across the country to boston alongside myra, her daughter

elaine always held a resentment towards aster because of her mother, but never did anything about it--it was just always, sorta, implied ?

but myra and aster got along swimmingly despite being polar opposites

aster was p much a feral child, and myra had been receiving etiquette lessons since birth, practically--like, literally

elaine put them in the same hobbies but aster always found ways to be wildly different from the ~standard~

myra learned cello and flute, aster started up on bass and drums (breaking both instruments, repeatedly, for many years)

elaine forced dance onto the both of them, and whilst they both excelled at ballet--aster switched over to a more free-flowing dance as soon as she was able to

(that and when elaine tried to put aster in sports instead of dance--figuring her fiery nature would be put to good use--aster managed to get kicked off of every single team of every single sport she tried b/c of her aggression. theyve had to fight a few lawsuits after aster’s broken a number of noses and sporting equipments)

myra was learning two languages, aster? dyslexic and could barely read english as it was; science made sense to her, however. plants? especially.

people confused myra and aster for twins nearly all the damn time, despite only being cousins, they were so alike and yet so opposite

that was, of course, until they got into a nasty spat when they were seventeen

it was something about dead parents and resentments and yadda yadda; it didn’t end well

aster wound up running away......all the way back to los angeles.

n i mean like......homegirl literally managed to run away across the gd country w/o getting caught or murdered

by the time she arrived in los angeles her aunt was sort of like ‘fuck it ur almost 18′ b/c....aster was nearly 18 by the time she arrived in the city, and elaine contacted maverick who in which found aster

aster did not want to go with him, after hearing stories about him just being no-good

but at that point, maverick was one of los angeles’ head detectives with a beautiful apartment and a beautiful wife and a beautiful dog and just kind of living his best life ?? after dahlia’s death he had really cleaned himself up y’kno

aster still kind of resented him but that was more of an inner thing

anyways she started attending ucla b/c her mother attended ucla, but her mother wasn’t a part of a sorority

it was one of those spur of the moment decisions and like nobody knows how aster ended up in theta sigma eta b/c she’s like a grumpy grandmother

but like she dun’ did that

we stan

a year ago maverick was diagnosed w cancer and has been in the hospital battling it ever since, aster is admittedly effected by it but like would never tell anybody ever

she doesn’t really tell anybody anything about her life, like, it’s a gd mystery

uuuuuuuuh aster works in a floral shop as a florist and grows her own shit ranging from fruits, vegetables, weed, shrooms, uh opium poppies yeah she Does that

it’s organic n fresh n shit like the devil works hard but aster works harder

she doesn’t really ~sell~ too often b/c she’s kinda selfish w her stash but it’s some top notch shit when she does 

no she doesn’t grow in the floral shop she’s not Stupid

aster inherited some of her mother’s properties Out There so she drives up almost everyday to take care of her plants

uuuhh fun fact, aster’s part of a dance like...company, kind of? but not really ? outside of ucla b/c she hates being involved in school shit besides habitat for humanity

personality

v v v harsh tbh

she won’t beat around the bush, usually...brutally honest, tbh?

like lbr she’s kind of a bitch too

just v offputting at first b/c she tells it like how it is n doesn’t rly care abt ur problems

doesn’t go around lookin’ for new friends but if you’re tight w her then she’ll probably die for u like she’s v loyal

but if u wrong her like even once she’ll drop u and treat u like right shit

she either feels intensely or nothing at all n that’s like. smth u have to deal w/

she’s v v v chaotic neutral, bordering evil--really works in her own favors

became a botanist after her mother bc she admired her mother more than anybody else

not saying that being vegan is a personality trait

but

aster’s a vegan

n just super hardcore into saving the earth n shit?

litter and she’ll break ur nose, basically

v into sustainable living n shit. rides her bicycle everywhere if she can, rly rarely drives, doesn’t do fast fashion at ALL

v v passionate, will argue w/ u until u admit she’s right even if she’s painfully wrong

like super stubborn, v opinionated, assumes the worst of u immediately

a lil cynical, but is more realist than pessimist

BIG FUCKING GAY

like so gay

she’s not Out-Out but she definitely doesn’t hide it, just doesn’t think it’s necessary to be like ‘im gay’ every 5 minutes n doesn’t think it’s necessary to let ppl kno she’s gay b/c shes just like....its my business

kinda bitch to flirt w dudes for fun in order to lead them on, get them to do things for her, etc. etc. just to disappoint in the end

this is big dumbass energy b/c that’s how u get stabbed

unless aster stabs u first

kinda gal who’ll key ur car if u piss her off during a class debate, but will also stick thumb tacks into ur wheels n shit too

like.....i said she’s spiteful, right? b/c she can b so spiteful

really, genuinely, has no regard for other ppl’s feelings

her music taste is either heavy rock or straight up like grimes/die antwoord there is no in between (prolly listens to billie eilish tho)

owns a pet tarantula n yes she has it in her dorm n Yes she brings it out n plays w it n shit her name is stevie nicks n u better respect her

big slut

would never cheat on u but also probably wouldn’t date u in the first place bc she’s scared of like....being in a relationship b/c all of hers are p much on the rocks

probably carries around a pocket knife at all times

probably bought said pocket knife from a dude in an alleyway for like $5 

myra also goes to ucla and theyre 100% still not speaking but that’s bc they’re both too stubborn to go to each other but like lbr aster misses her cousin

v unruly, nvr brushes her hair, usually got dirt on her clothes bc she’s prolly been digging in gardens or stealing flowers or some shit

bright side is tht she always smells like flowers

theta sigma eta is lucky b/c she cooks her own meals w her own fresh veggies n shit n she always makes too much food n like ? so good

but anyways she’s also got like no manners okay she’s so impolite

uuuuuuh god i dunno what else

wanted connections

ride or die

other friends of varying closeness

ex-friends ???

...like somebody she’s into but also...not into? v conflicted feelings

on-and-off-agains bc their relationship is awful n probably toxic but it just. hurt so good

ex-gfs

ex-hookups

boys she’s led on

boys she’s currently leading on

flirtatious encounter gone wrong [not clickbait] ??

enemies

enemies but gone sexual [not clickbait]

buyers of her products - either weed, shrooms, or opium teehee

roommate

give her somebody she was a uwu soft crush on but would nvr do anything abt bc gross romance !!

alternately, unrequited crushes of any sorts

fellow gays b/c gays always end up knowing each other

party pals

frenemies ??

sdfgh give me her dad’s trophy wife pleathe....it’d be so funny

childhood friends tht knew her b4 she moved to boston so like...ages 0-9

childhood friends tht knew her after she moved to boston so like...ages 9-17

or acquaintances bc she was....a mean one

A TUTOR just b/c she can rly struggle w her dyslexia

[starkissr]

idk why

ppl want to be fake friends like i’d rather have real friends or no friends but i don’t get why ??? ppl rly wanna try n be my fake friend like no listen i’m sorry but i can’t be ur friend on the day u feel lonely n a stranger when ur thriving and omg!!!! this one rly just told me my expectations are too high bc get this! i asked her to consider me like o ok lol so you’re rly telling me in ur twisted idea of a friend I’m not allowed to expect u to care abt me like isn’t that only the literal definition of a friend my mistake??? bc i totally get having no expectations of ppl and all that but at the end of the day when ur then best friend decides to ignore ur existence then come back into ur life whenever they feel like it? like my problem isn’t that ur trying to come back into my life i’m open to whatever ok but when u can’t have consistent intentions to be a good friend u auto = fake aka nobody ???? i GET that ppl mess up obv i’m not perfect either but it’s just admitting that and actually understanding where u went wrong n at least making an honest effort of not doing it again that is SO CRUCIAL

wow wow wojeofiae and like it’s just soooo funny when ur pride is the fucking reason we’re not friends??? like if ur ego is what’s holding u back i rly don’t need someone so easily swayed by that bs in my life? so no i’m not gonna try or give a fuck abt u if ur idea of a friend is not aligned w mine like and if it isn’t that’s fine we don’t have to be friends uk but like idk it sucks tbh bc i’ve been sooo transparent abt how ur lack of words/actions hurt me so bad so u literally know but don’t do anything w this knowledge??? n still wanna try and talk to me like we’re friends after?? fuck no

it’s sad that 2 of my absolute best friends did this to me in diff ways but like this is the underlying pattern n it just hurts so bad when the person ur the closest to in the world and has learned the most abt u and has been thru sooo many ups and downs just one day decides that ur not important to them anymore uk??? like and when they come back later bc of c that’s what they always fucking do! they expect it to be like the old days and make u feel like ur fucking crazy for being hurt when they literally just left u in the dark. it was so painful to grieve thru that period without u bc i had to feel what it was like when u turned ur back on me and yes it was v fucking cold bc when i was ur friend it was all sunny days n that was a stark contrast but 

also these past few days rly just make me wanna ask u why tf are u so fucking bipolar and a passive aggressive cunt to me one second and talking to me in ur bubbly tone like im ur friend legitimately 2 seconds later bc oh u just remembered u can use me for this thing or that??? i’ve literally never met an angrier or immature person? like ok obv i’m just off one on this rant so i’m gonna explain just how this girl tried me today! so she’s my roommate n keep in mind like i have told her explicitly my problem w her is that she hurt me when she didn’t communicate w me n went mia like i said this multiple times so no guess work needed n anyway today i was playing music in our room and guess what this girl does!!! puts her music on louder than mine! at first i was like?????????????? literally what? LIKE DID U RLY!!!!!!!!! JUST DO THAT LOL it was rly too much for u to tell me u wanted to play ur music???? i was honestly amazed and was like ok like obv this just sounds like shit at this pt n tbh all i wanted to do was just ask u why u felt that u didn’t want to tell me u wanted to play ur music? but then i checked myself and remembered ur words that i am expecting too much of u when i ask why u don’t care to communicate certain things so i guess it’s too much to ask u this too so like what now? n i just turned my music off after this internal resolution that u literally told me i can’t expect anything from u aka i can’t ever expect u to show up for me so like who is someone to u that is there one day and not the next?? like a relationship needs a degree of stable commitment and if i can never count on u why would i want to waste my time waiting on u to fuck up / my breath for calling u my friend? 

the ppl i’m lucky enough to call my friends are ppl that i’m inspired by and i’m not saying ur an ugly person like obv u have parts of u that are so beautiful and that’s who i saw in u before but like if u keep showing me how ugly u can be don’t blame me if u singlehandedly broke my trust in u ??? AND ANYWAY LOL if ur reading this still the CHERRY on top of it all and what actually got me fucking mad is this !!!! girl!!!! asked me for a bandaid a breath after i turned my music off. like. o. ... .m. . . m. g. i just honestly couldn’t believe it n w her cheery ass tone like this is what i’m talking abt how u only matter to them when they need u!!! i was debating asking her abt the music thing now that she decided i was worth speaking to but literally it just wasn’t worth it to hear another one of ur excuses??? i would’ve loved to see what u would’ve twisted out of that situation tbh but i was also like ok like i don’t wanna help u bc ur a cunt but then i was like uk what! she wins if i’m a bitter person bc of her by telling her no so i let her have my stupid bandaid but talk to me like we’re friends one more time and i swear to fucking god !!!!! i won’t be so silent 

n my friends are like r u gonna be friends w her after n i’m like ? what friend treats a friend like this ????????? like real q? this is not a friend. why would i say yeah i’ll be friends w her just to make her happy? no bitch my one requirement to be my friend is to act like a fucking friend and if u tell me that’s expecting too much of u like ok but u have to understand! this is my definition of a friend i can’t be ur friend then ! stop half ass trying!!!!!! either leave me tf alone or the moment u choose to decide (and actually act like) u wanna be real to me is when i consider u my friend again uk!! i’m not gonna hold ur shit over ur head but idk i feel like it’s bc they think that i will that they don’t try or honestly i don’t know their reason why but all i do know is there’s a blatant discrepancy between their words and their actions. for both of them but like the one who did this to me first even apologized to me and like i honestly rly appreciated that like it was only! a year and a half late lol but still i was happy but then they went ahead and did them and i haven’t heard of them since! like ok COOL so u just wanted to say we’re friends then go away again like that’s what i’m saying i don’t get it why do ppl want to be fake friends? what’s the pt????????? wow ok these are just the questions that i’m asking myself rn it like tears me apart that the ppl who know me best can’t bother to act like my friend when they wanna still have the perks of calling me a friend ! literally if any of them were to hit me up and put an attempt that lasts o idk beyond a single day to be my friend then i’m down i’m there but don’t fucking tell me i have high expectations for thinking ur my friend yeah obv i’m rly frustrated at everyone for complicating everything like clearly i care so much abt these ppl and that’s why i’m hell bent on trying to make myself feel ok for not taking them back bc as much as i love them i have self respect and literally it would just become an emotionally abusive relationship if i try to engage in a friendship where the friend would just let me down every day like i already have my own shit i’m dealing w why tf would i want to put myself thru unnecessary pain?

like everyone knows when ur being genuine or not. the recent one gave me a fake apology and it was so clear it was fake and last night she even admitted that it was n that she doesn’t think she needs to apologize and like i’m just like ......... so let’s just say i forgot that u can’t stick to ur word ok.... did u rly just have to remind me again?! this is what i’m talking abt it’s just painful and i can’t be ur friend if u can’t be real w me ok that’s all if anyone wants to be a human w me say hi like i rly don’t think anyone reads this so i was gonna delete my tumblr so long ago bc like whats the pt if no one sees u but then i realized how fucking cool that is and how liberating it is to just like put ur thoughts out into the interweb like journal writing is cool n all but on the off chance someone other than me does happen to see this then hi ur only looking at my deepest thoughts so i might as well know who u r lol but like if not (prob) then that’s ok i’ll just lol at myself when i reread this later! as stressful as this is like omg i’m graduating next week and i won’t have these kinda petty problems anymore and like that’s cool when that happens but idk i’m just not ready to grad f m u so ik as like annoying as this is and as stressed as i am abt my classes and assignments and finals and the future i’m eternally grateful for my education n like that’s why i don’t wanna leave! it’s the little things like tn i was at a coffee shop studying w friends n in the car ride back me n one of them were talking abt that one cute barista like he doesn’t matter but having someone to just say whatever the fuck u want w n confide in! it’s these little pleasures that i just love so much!!! n like i didn’t even notice but my friend brought to my attn like how he was acting kinda dumbstruck when he was talking to us n i was like lol fuck ur right that’s fucking hilarious n i had a new thing to laugh abt that i wouldn’t have if i had experienced it alone uk! like talking is literally what allows a relationship to flourish so w these 2 ppl where they just don’t communicate w me like that sounds like such a small flaw but the reason why it’s such a problem is that it literally stunts the friendships growth! how can we connect and etc if u can’t share what’s rly going on w me??????? or like why do u feel u don’t need to talk abt the truth?????? but ya as i was saying lol it’s ok i’ll just have to grind until i can get into my next school (hopefully, someone take me pls lol sos) but ya idk i suffer a lot during school but tbh it’s my fav ever so i’m so sad i’m graduating!!!!!! but like the only thing that’s making it ok is bc all of us are saying the same thing and it’s comforting that even tho we all dk what the fuck is going on i’m not the only one 

so mostly sad bc i’m gonna miss my real friends here soooooooo much like w all my heart omg nothing will be the same again and i’m not ready! i’ll miss being seconds away and the fact that i can go over or call them like hoe get ready bc we’re going to the beach that’s down the street!!!! at my parents place the beach is half an hour away and i was in love but u had to drive like an extra 15-30 min to get to even nicer beaches n bruh let me tell u i rly did myself right by going to a school an actual 5 seconds away from the beach and granted besides us students it’s a rich white conservative person area but still it’s in a cute n clean area?? omg like this is just as good as it gets uk??? so ya blessed to be stressed 

!?!?@#

[headbangingsappho]

so i was thinking about that brilliant haus memes post the check please fandom compiled and i realized that man. les amis memes must be absolutely fucking incredible too

- saying “thats my first name actually” after random things

éponine: i just dont understand white people, like who would name their own child, their own flesh and blood something like McKhynleigh feuilly: thats my first name actually

grantaire, seductively: whatcha thinking about enjolras: brexit grantaire: hmmm interesting.... did you know that thats my first name actually

- sometimes they play dnd together (combeferre is the dm) and they constantly bring up things that happened in game in irl arguments

cosette: hi courf do you maybe happen to know who ended up shedding glitter all over my apartment courfeyrac: i dont know cosette do you happen to know who watched my DEATh in COLD BLOOD and then proceeded to LOOT MY CORPSE for vALUABLES

joly: im just not sure if i can trust you after you cheated on me with that barmaid last night bossuet: babe that wasnt me that was my alterego countess boochie flagrante

- they also have a thing for alignments

bahorel: *throws textbook against the wall* fuck the law feuilly: chaotic neutral

marius: *too busy daydreaming abt cosette to watch his step, trips falls and knocks down a garbage can* courf: chaotic stupid

azelma thénardier: so i told this dude that all lesbians are in a telepathic connection with each other right? and he was like “oh rly.... then whats ellen degeneres doing right now”. and i told him that she was eating her morning cereal, yknow, bc of the time difference between france and the u.s. then he was like “oh rly.... what kind of cereal” and my brain just shut down and i swear to god i couldnt have thought of a single american cereal brand if my life had depended on it so i just said “crunchster munchster” and you know what... he bought it. he asked me if i could check if this one girl he has a crush on was a lesbian and i said “ye dude, for ten euros”. and i thought that was it but i shit you not the next day he walked up to me with a list of twenty names and asked me if he could pay by credit card. rey from star wars was on the list. like not even daisy ridley, straight up “rey from star wars”, except misspelled as “rei”. i told him she was a lesbian éponine: .........chaotic gay

- combeferre is the jack zimmermann of les amis. his “im combeferre, vice president of the college debate club, and on behalf the entire debate team id like to sincerely apologize” is legendary among teachers and students alike

*bahorel gets in a fistfight with someone* “im combeferre, vice president of the college debate club, and on behalf the entire debate team id like to sincerely apologize” *joly and cosette watch cute animal videos on a school computer and end up loudly sobbing in the middle of the library* “im combeferre, vice president of the college debate club, and on behalf of the entire...” *éponine smuggles gavroche’s pet tarantulas in and scares the shit out of an entire class* “im combeferre, vice president of the college debate club, and...”

ferre is a total hypocrite about it tho. *almost blows up the whole chemistry lab bc he had a great idea for an experiment he wanted to try* “im combeferre, vice president of the college debate club, and on behalf of the entire debate team...” *arrives at class late with nothing but a laptop and a pack of monster energy drinks, wearing his doctor who themed pajama pants* “im combeferre, vice president of the college debate club, and on behalf...”

- musichetta is a muslim, joly is a buddhist and bossuet is an atheist so christianity in general is kind of like a weird relationship meme for them

courf and ferre: *came over to the jxbxm apartment, lowkey cuddling on the couch* musichetta: um guys noah fence but this is a good christian household where we always leave some room for our lord and savior jesus christ

bahorel, in one of their shared law classes: are seriously telling me you havent read any of the compulsory readings for today bossuet: bahorel my guy you know damn well that the only book ive ever read and im ever going to read is the holy bible amen

- every time anyone complains abt any minor annoyance or rudeness they suffered from someone éponines advice is to kill them, and she often adds that she knows a guy if they know what she means, which would be funny if it wasnt for the fact that they all know that éponine is best friends with a major drug dealer and through montparnasse she most certainly could find someone whod kill a dude for money and they have no idea whether shes kidding or not

- you know how artists always get asked if their work is anime.... grantaire gets ahead of that and names all of his pieces, like every single one, even the abstract ones that are literally just him splashing some shitty cheap wine on the canvas, he titles all of them “neon genesis evangelion fanart #x”

the numbers are not in order but have some logic to them, like he painted a portrait of jehan once and named it neon genesis evangelion fanart #420, or his portrait of joly was titled neon genesis evangelion fanart #6x10^23

once he drew an actual piece of neon genesis evangelion fanart and he named it homestuck fanart #69

[enjolras voice] i just dont understand modern art

- speaking of R and nge, he has a ramiel shirt and once when he was wearing it enjolras walked up to him and said “nice octahedron” and grantaire, who hates maths with the burning passion of a thousand suns, just went “how dare you speak that word to me” and walked away. enjolras was like ???? i just wanted to be nice but the others thought it was hilarious

marius, studying latin words: hey jehan whats the gender of- jehan: how dare you speak that word to me

musichetta: yo courf remember last new years eve when you did all those jägerbombs and- courfeyrac: how dare you speak that word to me

bahorel still has this reaction to “law” in spite of hearing it approximately fifty times per day

- every single member of les amis is 100% convinced that gavroche is their son

cosette: gavroche, my sweet child whom i birthed and raised myself,

gav: *is wearing crocs* bahorel: son i did not carry you in my womb for nine months for you to disrespect me like this

- they also like to act as if jean valjean is their father which is kinda really weird bc at least half of the amis have a crush on him

courf once called jvj “daddy” to his face. no ones letting him ever forget that

- anyone who tells a longer story ends it with “in conclusion, death to the bourgeoisie and a happy hanukkah to y’all” after a memorable speech grantaire held in their debate club once

please feel free to reblog with more quality les amis memes, im always here to discuss them

[stellarsquad]

ur turn to answer all of them, lets hear it

thanks michelle ur the binch best

1. Is a kiss considered cheating?

depends on the circumstance, but I’d say yes.

2. Have you ever faked orgasm?

nope

3. If you could have one superpower, what would it be?

shapeshifting, or the power to refill things bc lets be honest that one (1) post was actually quite logical

4. Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years?

mmmmmm, maybe. maybe not 7 - 9 yrs but maybe sometime

5. Tell us some funny drunk story.

i don’t drink, so none on that front. 

6. Why are you no longer together with your ex?

didn’t love her romantically, feelings didn’t go both ways. we’re g now though.

7. If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be? 

hmmmmm, probably drowning. 

8. What are your current goals?

ace my exams.

9. Do you like someone?

fuck yeah i do!!! 

10. Who was the last person to disappoint you?

not sure, actually. generally if someone disappoints me they make up for it pretty quick. 

11. Do you like your body?

it does its job (mostly)

12. Can you keep a diet?

is that a joke??

13. If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say?

let people live

14. Do you work?

yeah, i tutor beginner trumpet students.

15. If you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, what would it be?

sushi, probably

16. Would you get a tattoo?

maybe, but probably not. not rlly my style. 

17. Something you don’t mind spending all your money on?

my FRIENDS I LOVE MY FRIENDS

18. Can you drive?

i can,,, but am i a good driver?? up for debate.

19. When was the last time someone told you you were beautiful?

not sure

20. What was the last thing you cried for?

i’m playin the lead in a short film about a woman who’s husband dies in a crash and we filmed a scene at a graveyard for that this week, so i cried there about my ‘husband’ dying.

21. Do you keep a journal?

not anymore.

22. Is life fun?

honestly it’s looking up. so i’ll say yes.

23. Is farting in front of people irrelevant?

i don’t,,, even know what this question is asking??? yes?? no?? maybe?? 

24. What’s your dream car?

mini cooper, teal. or red.

25. Are grades in school important?

mmmhmmm don’t fuck around in school kids.

26. Describe your crush.

literal angel honestly, the sweetest boy i’ve ever met. 

27. What was the last book/movie that really impressed you?

fuckin baby driver!!! that was good shit!!!

28. What was your last lie?

“dont pull that shit again i stg i will rearrange ur spinal structure until u resemble a goldfish”. it’s a lie i don’t even know how to do that.

29. Dumbest lie you ever told? 

um,,, idk most of my lies are pretty stupid one likes that ^^^ and i don’t lie a lot nowadays anyway. i try to avoid it where i can.

30. Is crying in front of people embarrassing?

this is kind of a double standard thing for me, like,, i don’t mind if other ppl cry in front of me and i certainly won’t shame anyone for crying in public / in front of other but i’m always embarrased crying in front of other people. sooooo, idk. 

31. Something you did and you are proud of?

topping 3 of my classes atm, i think. 

32. What’s your favourite cocktail?

once again, not a drinker.

33. Something you are good at?

i’m okay at singing, i think.

34. Do you like small kids?

mmmm, depends on how small. 

35. How are you feeling right now?

exhausted but i always am sooooo,

36. What would you name your daughter/son?

lmao me?? having kids?? is that a joke??

37. What do you need to be happy?

music, my best Friends and/or my boyfriend. preferably all of em.

38. Is there some you want to punch in the face right now?

mmm, not really?? myself mostly for not doing my work. 

39. What was the last gift you received?

um, idk. probably smnthn for my birthday?? that was at the beginning of the yr i don’t remember. 

40. What was the last gift you gave?

i gave a sloth enamel pin to one of my friends this thursday just gone.

41. What was the last concert you went to?

twenty one pilots!!

42. Favourite place to shop at?

h&m, or jay jays.

43. Who inspires you?

sebastian stan

44. How old were you when you first got drunk?

are there gonna be more of these drinking questions??

45. How old were you when you first got high?

i don’t even drink bruh,,,

46. How old were you when you first had sex?

umm, well i’m ace so,,, no.

47. When was your first kiss?

recently, actually. it was good but the second one was so. much. better.

48. Something you want to do until the end of this year?

stay in a relationship with my boyfriend, and beyond the end of this year, too.

49. Is there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done?

[pulls up 178 slide pptx] where the fuck do i start

50. Post a selfie.

how’s this: https://stellarsquad.tumblr.com/post/159788715857/flora-200417-artist-and-photographer

51. Who are you most comfortable around?

my two Best Friends ever nd my boyfriend.

52. Name one thing that terrifies you.

fuckin hell, spiders man.

53. What kind of books do you read?

fantasy and adventure

54. What would you tell your 12 year old self?

trust your damn instincts. don’t be blind.

55. What is your favourite flower?

orchids!! or roses. hmmm

56. Any bad habits you have?

i scratch nd pick at my face a lot

57. What kind of people are you attracted to?

i don’t,,,, know? i don’t rlly know if i have a type, but lookin back at the people i’ve loved, good sense of humour and good jawline. i guess.

58. What was the last thing you cried for?

fuckin,, cried in A Dogs Purpose in the cinemas i’m weak.

59. Is there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgust you?

if u fuckin come at me with chicken liver,,, i will fight

60. Are you in love?

yeah, yeah i think so.

61. Something you find romantic?

i fuckin love,, holdin hands. like thats dumb but i love it.

62. How long was your longest relationship? 

abt 3 mnthn. 2 ½ i think. 

63. What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex?

girls are catty sometimes, and some girls think they’re the Queens of Everything regardless of where they are / who they’re with like,, sit down please you don’t have any power here at all.

64. What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex? 

misogyny is one thing but that’s grouping all guys together a bit generally so based on one of my guy friends, who is pretty much the only guy i have any contact w besides my bf: if i get any more texts from u tryna argue abt religion when you’re high i’ll delete ur number and change your netflix password.

65. What are you saving money for?

a camera

66. How would you describe your bad side?

a ghost but i think she’s dead. 

67. Are you actually a good person? Why?

i try to be but,,,, hmm. 

68. What are you living for?

idk my friends i think.

69.Have you ever done anything illegal?

probably!!

70. Do you like your body?

haven’t i already answered this??

71. Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally?

i try to avoid it but when i’m sometimes when i’m roasting all hell breaks loose.

72. Ever sent nudes?

no.

73. Have you ever cheated on someone?

no and who the fuck would honestly.

74. Favourite candy?

mmmmm, milk bottles.

75. Is there a blog you visit every day, or almost every day? Tag it!

not rlly sorry. my own?? my sideblogs?? idek. 

76. Do you play any computer games? What is your favourite game?

NIVA!!!

77. Favourite TV series?

The Checkout. yeah i’m a nerd!! come at me!!

78.Are you religious? Does God exist?

yeah, i’m Christian but im probably not a very good example of one. and God’s out there alright. He exists. 

79. What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why?

honestly,, Emma by Jane Austen can die

80. What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism?

props 2 anyone who can do it u are dedicated.

81. How long have you been on Tumblr?

since like,, 2014 i think??

82.Do you like Chineese food?

yeah boyyy

83. McDonalds or Subway?

maccaaas

84. Vodka or whiskey?

-  _-

85. Alcohol or drugs?

-     __-

86. Ever been out of your province/state/country?

heck yeah

87. Meaning behind your blog name?

space gang

88. What are you scared of?

being forgotten

89. Last time you were insulted?

My Best Friend (if she even is that,, MICHELLE) called me a preschooler yesterday nd she can choke

90. Most traumatic experience ?

nov2015 to like,, jan2017

91. Perfect date idea?

stargazing and makin out tbh.

92. Favourite app on your phone?

spotify!

93. What colour are the walls in your room?

purple nd white

94. Do you watch Youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber?

not rlly anymore?? probably still dan and phil.

95. Share your favourite quote.

“And just remember, bad times, are just times that are bad.” its from fuckin,,, animal crossing i love it so much it’s so dumb.

96. What is the meaning of life?

live for others, and others will live for you. its,,,, cyclical.

97. Do you like horror movies?

no no no nooooo

98. Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened?

yeah, i went to state level in a public speaking competition and she cried bc she was proud.

99. Do you feel lucky or special in a way?

i’m lucky to have an actual angel as a bf, my guy

100. Can you keep a secret?

yeah. i’m good at those.

and thats all of them!! sorry this is so long guys