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#but it really works for any situation tbh
torialefay · 1 day
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maybe this is too niche but the most random thoughts keep popping into my head?? idk but i must share them.
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these are the types of doctors i think stray kids would be, based on different doctors' stereotypes (from the pov of a medical student):
chan: sports medicine 🏀⚽️
• description: physicians with training in areas related to treating and preventing injuries and health issues associated with sports, exercise, or strenuous physical activity
• stereotype: athlete-turned-doctor. the less extreme brother of the orthopedic specialists. get to meet a wide range of people and are well-liked. very passionate about sports and physical health. dress really nice and know their ass looks great in their tight pants. probably has memorized all the stats of their favorite teams. ACTUALLY very intelligent and not just a meat head.
minho: forensic pathologist 🩸
• description: subspecialist in pathology whose area of special competence is the examination of persons who die suddenly, unexpectedly or violently. The forensic pathologist is an expert in determining cause and manner of death.
• stereotype: honestly just leave them tf alone. they just wanna do their thing... without you there, just come find them when they've figured it out. nice but also scarred forever. a little fucked up in the head but much needed. no one understands how they're able to do their job tbh. able to conjure up the most morbid situations. kinda freaky but in a respected way. you should be concerned if they stare at you for too long.
changbin: orthopedist (aka orthopedic surgeon aka "ortho bro") 🦴
• description: medical specialist who focuses on injuries and diseases affecting your musculoskeletal system (bones, muscles, joints and soft tissues). although this type of doctor is a surgeon, they often help people get relief with nonsurgical therapies.
• stereotype: the "bro"est of the bros. always talking about their new workout routine or equipment with the other ortho bros. will out-eat you any day of the week. probably has a hot spouse. will be blasting their workout playlist for hours on end in the operating room. honestly just want to do surgeries so they can play with the tools. could fight off an entire army with the amount of protein powder they consume on the daily.
hyunjin: dermatologist 💉
• description: medical doctor who specializes in conditions that affect the skin, hair, and nails.
• stereotype: distinguished and better than you. better than everyone else. can be nice, but can also be cold depending in the person. only uses the best hair products. the specialty is very competitive, but you're 99% sure they got in with pretty privilege. owns 7 cars, but their sunday car is their favorite. sells $90 moisturizer at the check-in counter. most definitely is also certified in botox and filler and will give you a discount on your injections if you compliment them enough.
han: psychiatrist 💆🏻
• description: medical doctor who can prescribe, direct, or administer psychotherapeutic treatments or medications to treat mental, emotional, or behavioral disorders.
• stereotype: actually does give a fuck about you. you can tell them the most fucked up shit and they honestly will not be surprised in the slightest. quirky to a fault. knows how to make you feel special. very #relatable. sacrifices their own mental health for the sake of yours. cannot do math. just wants world peace. mentally diagnoses everyone they meet with a personality disorder.
felix: gynecologist 👛
• description: physician who specializes in diagnosing and treating diseases of the female reproductive system.
• stereotype: will be kind to you and work for the promotion of women's health. never makes you feel uncomfortable and tries to make you feel more secure in an environment that can seem scary. has very expensive bags. their children are very successful, but in a humble way. emotionally intelligent. wishes they had more time to bake. an advocate. seem sweet, but if you cross them, they can drag you through the absolute mud. may or may not have a rhinestone cup collection.
seungmin: general surgeon 🔪
• description: doctor and surgeon who’s trained to diagnose and manage a broad array of medical conditions before, during, and after surgery (preoperative, operative and postoperative care), often as leaders of a team.
• stereotype: literally just trying to get you cut open, close you up, and leave. has 27 different playlists to listen to in the operating room. may or may not flirt with the other staff. got this job bc they cannot handle people telling them what to do. will humble you so quickly. other besties are also surgeons. has very niche interests. weird sense of humor that not everyone gets but they still have to laugh because they are scared of him.
innie: neurologist 🧠
• description: medical doctor who diagnoses, treats and manages disorders of the brain and nervous system.
• stereotype: a little peculiar, but very smart. takes a long time to get an appointment with them. probably thinks you are a little dumb, but tries to be nice anyways. hard to make friends. has an amplitude of medications that they are legally not supposed to have. their children are most definitely overachievers. would not trust you to bring an important dish to the potluck. has the cutest shoes. dabbles in unexpected kinks.
(descriptions gotten from various websites hehe)
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basilbots · 10 months
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I heard it was let Lunar say Fuck day Gee wonder who they're yelling at
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There exists in my brain a collection of characters that belongs to a loose, cross-fandom polycule/adventuring party and this is the current roster
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wildstar25 · 2 months
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What physical part(s) of Arsay does her partners find the most attractive! Is it the same for all partners or does it differ between them?
(also optional bonus ask of what part(s) of/about Arsay generally do they love the most, physical or not!)
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Meanwhile, if you were to ask the same of Arsay:
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#ffxiv#wolship#g'raha tia#y'shtola rhul#wolgraha#wolshtola#y'shtola x wol#arsay nun#graharshtola#y'shtola calling arsay a pain in her side is very much an affectionate thing btw#and i couldnt pass up the joke of g'raha giving the sweet gentlemanly response only for yshtola to be like 'tits tbh'#her defaulting to an answer that would probably stop the conversation before she has to talk to much about her deeper feelings imo#i have. a lot of feelings about yshtola and arsay's friendship#someone who is constantly trying to build walls between herself and others vs someone who desperately wants to form real connections#its not a 'wearing that person down' type situation either#just one lonely person seeing another lonely person and hoping that they could be less lonely together#or that she could at least bring some cheer to#and idk yshtola strikes me as the type to have been like 'if they want to be my friend they have to work for it'#which arsay certainly did#i could ramble on and on how their friendship lines up so well with yshtolas character development but theres a limit to these tags#so just look at how cute shtola is with the slightest blush on her cheeks#graha is a much more complicated topic since he went from Extreme adoration to I want to be her friend but I dont think im good enough#to 100% Hero worship again to Shes my hero and I love her to Shes a person and I love her#to I love Arsay. Even the parts she can't love in herself. I will love all of her till my dying breath.#he thinks shes the most beautiful person in the world and the most important thing in his life#but he now knows how insane she's been about being everyone's hero and he really doesnt want to feed that beast#so hes trying to build her up in other ways#focusing more on the adventuring side than the saving the world side#and then there is arsay who loves so much about her partners and is in capable of narrowing it down to any one thing so its#'here let me list everything that comes to mind right now' with 0 shame or filter
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wonder-worker · 9 months
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Thomas Penn writes about 500 year old dead historical figures like they're celebrities in a gossip column
#it's funny to an extent but after a point it gets very grating#he has a wealth of information but he's far too sensationalistic and florid#and tends to choose the most unsympathetic and/or colorful interpretation of every situation and historical figure#he also has a habit of ... narrativizing history which doesn't really work for me#also his fatphobia re Edward IV was absolutely revolting#I was planning on ordering the Winter King but after looking at the synopsis and first 2 chapters that were available online - no thanks#I'm definitely not interested in reading about Henry VII supposedly being 'sinister' and 'Machiavellian' because he...ruled successfully?#because he did what kings (unfortunately) did all the time? How was he any different from the others?#also imagine calling *Henry VII* ruthless & unscrupulous when his predecessor murdered his own kid-nephews and his successor was Henry VIII#like please be serious#I had the same issue with the way he described Edward IV's reign. His descriptions were so theatrical and emphatic but#at the end of the day the things he was describing were very normal lol#or they would be normal if Penn didn't choose the most critical (and mocking tbh) perspective for every single thing#the way he described Henry VI's reign was also annoying but it thankfully had far less pagetime and was not the focus of his work#so it was comparatively more tolerable#i'm glad that he acknowledged the propaganda against Margaret tho. I didn't like how he described her but at the very least he acknowledged#that she was being slandered#also calling Warwick 'the regime's biggest headache' lmfao#and ig some of his analyses on Richard III were interesting. It helps that R3 had a very short and very dramatic reign from start to finish#so Penn's flourishing tone doesn't really feel out of place for it
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homophyte · 5 months
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there is a rapidly evolving rhetoric against transgender cowardice that is deeply shaming nd it worries me a lot
#myposts#'medical transition invariably and always will expose u to harm and violence and if it doesnt ur not doing it right'#'medical transition is the single most important thing u can do u have to do it'#what do u mean the first statement makes u hesitant to participate in the second. theres no hesitating in transgenderism#idk man. doesnt seem productive#from like an access barrier perspective or a. compassion toward other people perspective#no consideration for like abusive situations or any other reason someone might not engage w medical institutions#i see ppl who say this act like others are criticizing it because theyre 'forcing people to transition' but tbh#my concern is actually more like. youre making transition seem undesirable and scary and like it will be a negative#ur making it seem like its a loyalty test that is awful but needs to be done#instead of actually promoting it as life saving and vital and doing the political work that entails#ie actually addressing access barriers or abuse or medical trauma or anything really#i guess its easier to sit on the computer and tell other ppl theyre not good enough and especially ahvent suffered enough#making it a point of shame to not be doing X while also portraying X as bad and scary and not doing work to undo the things that make it so#is a bad combination? i think? personally?#its just a bizarre way to talk abt something so positive. as if theres no positives about it.#you just have to do it anyway. for reasons. huh#personally what gets me is that its literally like. yeah if youre a coward theres no room for you. we wont protect or help you.#if youre scared fuck you. heres XYZ reasons to be scared. aww you got scared?? loser#thats what gets me. whats that for what does it accomplish#i mean what is accomplishes is shame but. personally im on the side of the transsexual coward
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hippiichi · 11 months
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me watching video essays on the theory of creating horror (as in analytical theory not matpat game theory) and being like ah yes i can use this for my dnd campaign yes...
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sugaggukkie · 5 months
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im not here but BY GOD do i fucking miss bts
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getoutofmytardis · 6 months
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if u get tattooed/want tattoos!!!
hi!! here are some things that are probs good to look out for (although i gotta emphasise most tattooers are super chill and lovely!! and getting tattooed is sm fun!!) just i keep hearing Stories and ngl i fear for peoples safety and apologies this is not very coherently put together but i am a soup of rage.
poor hygiene ie. not wrapping equipment properly, not washing their hands, not wrapping the bed or armrest, touching things other than things on the station or the tattoo with gloves on or touching any of those things without gloves on, just nothing gross. we don’t support cross contamination in this household. like cmon, girl u should not have an overflowing sharps container in the same cupboard as ur supplies!! ik this is awkward to look out for bc u can’t see everything they’re doing (and u shouldn’t have to be watching everything theyre doing to make sure they’re doing it right) and also. yanno. chances are ya haven’t done an infection control and bbp course (bc that’s literally the tattoo artists job) but yeah. you’re allowed to ask questions if something seems off. most people are chill but if they’re being gross you’re allowed to say something or leave)
drug use (??? insane this needs mentioning) ur tattoo artist should not be consuming drugs or alcohol during or prior to the session. (if people are smoking inside the studio during ur appointment?? absolutely not??? get OUT of there?? unsanitary not to mention inconsiderate, also no it is not normal for ur artist to be stoned let alone have multiple spliff breaks???? idc if speed is u self medicating u CANNOT just do a line mid tattoo WHAT THE FUCK)(i have to stress this is not the norm but jesus christ)(the weed thing does seem to be kinda common tho..? or not common just like. i would have like 10 nickels for that and that seems like too many. anyway if it’s ur friends and there’s consent sure whatever but if it’s a paying client?? absolutely not)
general creepy behaviour? if ur artist makes you feel uncomfortable at ANY point you are allowed to say something. you are allowed to leave. (telling people to remove more clothing than they need to for either the tattoo or for pictures is fucking gross and creepy. fuck you dave.) ur allowed a privacy screen. ur allowed nipple covers. ur allowed to tape ur clothes in place. ur allowed privacy if you do actually need to remove any clothing or get changed. also you do not have to remove clothing for photographs. they shouldn’t be commenting on your body. if they say anything or if you are asked to do anything that makes you uncomfortable YOU ARE ALLOWED TO LEAVE.
move the stencil as many times as you want. you are allowed to take breaks. you’re allowed to make changes to the design. it’s literally a tattoo on you my guy. you’re allowed to leave if you want to. there’s probs more things to mention (pls do add any) but this is the unholy trinity in my brain rn. anyway! i don’t know how to conclude this, be safe out there, don’t be scared to get tattooed if ur new to it see if you can get a recommendation from a friend or go with a friend it makes things a lot more chill!! be silly be goofy get yatted ma bois :)
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savrenim · 2 years
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gods nov 5th is the gift that keeps giving
#I recently have been dragged into I guess sort of the boku no hero academia fandom in the funniest of ways#which is to say I read a crossover fic went 'huh that's good' and decided to read more fic while also deciding to never watch the show#which I've only done for one fandom before and tbh it might legit be a more fun fanfiction reading experience than the normal one#it is WILD trying to reverse-engineer what is simply well-accepted fan theory and what is actual canon#I've definitely gotten a few guesses wrong but the osmosis process is really fun#(esp bc if you want to be a good detective you have to check dates; even people writing very carefully close to canon#might have written a fic before canon came out)#BUT ANYWAYS I guess I read BNHA fic now it's actually pretty good#probably bc there are multiple characters that fit my standard..... not even 'blorbo' preferences#my 'you have a backstory and/or situation that means fanfic written about you is most likely going to hit the spot' preferences#1 defs being Eraserhead bc let's be real 'I am a very tired gruff teacher working two jobs at once who does not get any sleep and has#against my own will adopted all of you why is this happening to me I'm so tired' is The Most Relatable#Hawks bc Crafted Into A Weapon From Childhood is The Weapons Feels^TM#and then Dabi bc that was the crossover that I read that was fun ok it was a silly jjk crossover of 'what if Gojo is reincarnated as Dabi'#that just transferred all my 'HELLO FAVORITE CHARACTER' emotions onto Dabi who then I go and look up and has also the sort of backstory#that makes him fave character material#SO here I am sitting here just generally happy with all of this watching my annual Nov 5th meme compilation#and LO AND BEHOLD there is strong arm 'trending during the us election: destiel/ BNHA' meme#and I'm going 'what the fuuuuuuuck my new favorite fandom aLSO TRENDED IN THE NOV 5TH CHAOS????'#so obviously I had to look up why#WELL THE WHY WAS DABI BACKSTORY REVEAL#anyways my housemate had to check on me as to why I was screaming and it turns out that indeed nov 5th#is the gift that keeps on giving#if you have read this far down in my tags I feel like you now know uncomfortably personal things about me#esp if you know enough about BNHA to understand all of that#so if you have any fic recs About My Favs I'm taking them I esp enjoy canon retellings bc it's REALLY fun to try to figure out#which bits of those are actually canon
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On days like today I really wish I still had a therapist. It would help so much to discuss what happened with a neutral outsider, someone who is a competent, apparently well adjusted person whose judgment I can trust. Like, I know we didn't do anything wrong, I even googled it to see if you have to ask your landlord before drilling holes in walls here (you don't). But it didn't help, I still feel like I did everything wrong and like I'm a horrible person. Knowing that's illogical doesn't help unless someone else that I trust confirms it and discusses the whole thing with me. Because my brain is stupid.
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ff2-soda-pop · 2 years
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i feel like the stuff with lloyd and garmadon is really complicated and i looked in the tags for a couple minutes and i keep seeing people being like. making it like one extreme end of a situation or the other and tbh i dont like or get it-
#like. idk how to make this make sense but like... i feel like given how the show has gone there isnt a way to make this either 'garmadon is#terrible and stuff' or 'lloyd is terrible and stuff'?? like theres just so much to like everything that happens#and i keep seeing people trying to go Entirely one way or the other and i just dont think it works well here??#like garmadon fucked up with being not there a lot in lloyds life and then. whatever the fuck s8-10 was. but at the same time theres stuff#like the snake (forgot the name) venom and harumi bringing back Just the evil parts to take into account for too? which like it doesnt make#it less Bad but also i think when we have stuff like how he was in s3-4 and like how much he was trying to keep lloyd out of harms way in#like s1-2 i cant agree with the idea that hes like Entirely bad or a terrible parent?? like theres a lot going on here#and then with lloyd hes like. a traumatized kid with abandonment issues. i dont blame him At All for how he reacted in crystalized and#stuff. like again traumatized kid with abandonment issues and also tbh it really feels in this show like every damn time he starts to work#through an issue or something bad that happened the show throws a New thing at him or just brings up the Old stuff again so hes like#constantly never getting a break. and so OF COURSE he reacts negatively to garmadon showing up when last several interactions were well....#yknow. s8-10. and then plus theres stuff like 'his dad literally died and then got revived and that whole situation was upsetting in#general for lloyd' (which like. it was like 2ish seasons between 5&8 im not sure if he even would've fully dealt with what happened in#that time frame? could be wrong but still) and just tldr hes not react well to this#(also i have a lot of thoughts on lloyd i could go on about him forever)#but also like i dont think he like.... doesnt care about garmadon?? like i dont think he like Hates Him or anything?? like he clearly doesn#feel as positively as he did Before but like i dont think he Hates him?? if any of that made sense#and then theres shit like the green ninja prophecy and the way its like destiny itself wants lloyd and his family members to just#Fucking Suffer all the time and just- idk i just think its really complicated and trying to simplify it down to like. 'garmadon is terrible#or 'lloyd hates him' or 'garmadon didnt do anything wrong here' or 'lloyd is being too mean' just. doesnt work well here??#though also i do like to think that after the show they're able to work on things and maybe be on good terms again?? idk the show ended on#a positive note and i just want them to be okay again - im very invested in these two if you cant tell - and i just feel like theres#potential for that there yknow?? but like it'd take work and i cant say that there isnt Issues Going On that HAVE to be worked through#because there ARE#.....ok i went on much longer of a tag rant than i expected i need to shut up now#ninjago spoilers
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THAT IS OKAY TO DO ANYTHING THERE IS AS LONG AS YOU'RE AUTISM... THAT IS INDEED A NOTHING BAD HAPPENS TO YOU CARD... REMEMBER... THAT IS WOKE AND PROGRESSIVE TO DISTURB PATHETIC NEUROTYPICAL WASTE TRYING TO CREATE RULES... WE ARE AUTISM... WE ARE BETTER THAN ANYONE...
#Woman Trans Lesbian Pansexual Bisexuality Asexuality Demisexuality Paraphilia Interesting Special Funny Crazy Insane Delusional Autism Adhd#Tourette Npd Hpd Bpd Dpd Ppd Aspd Avpd Ocpd Szpd Stpd Osdd Spd Spd Sdpd Papd Trauma Victim Abused#OUR KIND AREN'T SUFFERING... YOU ARE... BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T LIKE US... THAT IS SUFFERING TO BE NEUROTYPICAL... THAT IS A DISORDER TO BE#NEUROTYPICAL... SUCH WASTE NEED TO BE WIPED OUT... THIS IS WOKE AND PROGRESSIVE... ONLY A BIGOT WOULD CRY ABOUT THIS...#Radqueer Feminist Communist Anarchist Suomi Finland Finnish Hullu Kiva Kiltti Mukava Rakastava Hali Hei Kiva 😇😇... Pidän Sinusta...#THERE IS NOTHING ELSE TO THIS THAN OPPRESSION AND DISCRIMINATION. ASWELL AS ABUSER TACTICS AND OTHER EVIL OF SUCH KIND.#THIS IS VERY SERIOUS AND TRAUMATIC. NOTHING TO BE LAUGHED AT AND DEHUMANIZED BY THE ABUSER WASTE OF THIS SITE...#CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT...? INSANE... THIS TOO... I WILL NEVER ACCEPT A NAZI... NOTHING RADQUEER ABOUT YOU... THAT'S RIGHT...#THAT IS YOUR KIND THAT ARE PATHETIC THAT HAVE NO GRANDIOSE PROGRESSIVE GOAL FOR THIS LOSER SEKAI WE'RE SAVING...#WHAT'S IMPORTANT IS THIS SITE BEING ALL FAKE EVERYWHERE. NOTHING TRANS ABOUT ANYTHING. NOTHING GAY ABOUT ANYTHING. THEY DESPISE PARAPHILIAS#THIS MAKES THEM NOTHING. TREAT US LIKE WE'RE HUMAN PLEASE. :(. 😭😭😭😭!!!! WE SHOULD'VE TRANSITIONED THE SECOND WE MADE THIS ACCOUNT!!#NOTHING PRO TRANS ABOUT THIS SITE IF THAT ISN'T WHAT HAPPENED OR HAPPENS!!!! ONLY BULLYING AND CRUELTY!!!! EVIL!!!! BIGOTED DISCRIMINATION!#I'M SUPER BORED... THERE ARE SO MANY WE NEED... BUT WE BARELY HAVE ANYTHING... OR REALLY... NOTHING...#NOBODY TRULY CARES ABOUT US... WE HAVEN'T EVEN TRANSITIONED... ON TOP OF THAT... THERE'S ALL OTHER THINGS...#I CAN'T BELIEVE ONE OF THEM IS ON THIS SITE. THAT ONLY MEANS EVERYONE ON THIS SITE IS LIKE THEM.#THAT'S CRAZY... HOW MEANINGLESS EVERY SINGLE POST ON THIS SITE IS. BECAUSE EVERYTHING PROGRESSIVE#HAS A MILLION COUNTER POSTS. JUST LIKE OURS. STRAIGHT UP NEUROTYPICAL WASTE IN THE AUTISM TAG...#A COMPLETE INSULT AND NOTHING ELSE TO BE... WE'RE AUTISM... THEY DON'T ACCEPT US. SIMPLE.#THEY ARE AN ABUSER. EVIL. BIGOT. IRRELEVANT. NOTHING ELSE TO THAT...#SPREAD THESE POSTS TO THOSE THAT CAN DO THINGS FOR US... MAKE PEOPLE THAT WILL MAKE US TRANSITION SEE US...#WORK WITH US... WE MUST BE MADE TRANSITION INSTANTLY... ALL THE EVIL AROUND EVERYWHERE... INSANE...#I'M GOING CRAZY... NOBODY WILL EVER CARE ABOUT US... PROVEN ONLY BY SILENCE DESPITE BEING SEEN FOR MONTHS...#STRAIGHT UP CALCULATED DISCRIMINATION RESPONDED ONLY TO WITH BIGOTED ABUSER LANGUAGE... ONLY ANOTHER BIGOTED ATTEMPT...#TO MAKE US COMMIT SSIDE... NOBODY CARES... EVEN THE RADQUEER TAG DOESN'T... ABSOLUTELY NOBODY DOES...#THAT IS THEM THAT ARE AND ALWAYS WILL BE ALL THE BIGOTED THINGS EVIL... WE HAVE RAGE INSIDE OF US...#ACCEPT THAT. ACCEPT ALL OF US. NOBODY EVER HAS. WILL ANYONE EVER? THAT IS YOUR PURPOSE EITHER WAY. SERVE THEM.#ABUSE US ALL THAT WAYS WHY...? STRAIGHT UP MALICE TBH... BUT IF THAT IS A REQUIREMENT... THEN ANYTHING ON US ANY SITUATION IS MALICE THE#SAME... COME TO US MAKE US TRANSITION WE LIVE IN FINLAND FREEZE OUR LITTLE ONES AND GIVE US DIY HRT. NOW. NOW. NOW. PAINFULL.#MASS DISCRIMINATION ONLY. EVIL RESPONSE. ABSOLUTELY NOBODY IS A LEFTIST BESIDES US BECAUSE ANYONE PROGRESSIVE WOULD COME FOR US. SIMPLE AS.#AISHA FROM WINX SUCKS SHE SHOULD'VE BEEN BETTER. SHE SHOULD BE MADE BETTER. HER KIND SHOULD BE BETTER. FIX HER. MAKE US TRANSITION.
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steviescrystals · 12 days
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ignore this post i’m just whining again
#i HATE being new with a passion like it is one of the most uncomfortable situations for me to be in#i had extreme social anxiety as a kid (still do i’ve just learned how to manage it better) that had a huge impact on me in school#i switched schools 3 times between the ages of 5 and 10 and tbh i made friends pretty quickly every time#but i was still so indescribably anxious every time bc i just hated being the new kid so much#and i thought that was all behind me bc at the time it was bc i didn’t know anyone and everyone else already had friends#but as i’ve gotten older that same feeling has come back and this time it’s when i’m starting at a new job instead of a new school#i started working when i was 16 and for the first month or two i was so stressed and uncomfortable all the time#and i thought it was normal bc it was my first job ever#which was reinforced when i was 19 and got another job and the adjustment period was a million times better#but i started working there 2 weeks after the business opened so literally everyone was new not just me#and now i’m realizing that was probably the only reason i settled in so easily#bc now i’ve started another job and i’m right back to feeling incredibly anxious whenever i’m there and it’s driving me crazy#like everything’s been super easy so far and it’s the exact same type of work i was doing before so i already know what i’m doing#and everyone i’ve met has been nice and chill but i’m still so uncomfortable#like every time i talk to my coworkers i’m just thinking ‘oh my god this is so awkward’ the whole time and i can’t stop#and i just feel so out of place and it sucks bc i was so excited about this job and rn i just feel so anxious every time i go to work#and the worst part is i felt the same way when i was new at my first job and (to a lesser extent) my second job#so logically i know it’s just bc it’s my first week and it takes time to adjust and it’ll be fine eventually#but knowing that doesn’t make the feeling go away or help me deal with it#like what can i do besides just accepting that work is going to suck for the next month??#the whole thing is just kind of making me spiral bc i desperately needed a new job and this is literally the only one i wanted#but at the same time i’m still so upset about getting laid off from my last job even though it’s been 3 months#and the more anxious i feel at this new job the more i miss my old job#and i cannot allow myself to fall back into the headspace i was in for all of march after losing that job#maybe this is irrational bc it was just a job but the layoff genuinely sent me into one of the worst depressive episodes of my life#so idk i guess i was just really hoping i would love this job right away so i could finally see a bright side to getting laid off#and i mean i don’t have any complaints about the job so far but my anxiety is just making me so unhappy anyway#and i just miss my old job so much and i think about it nonstop and i really fucking hate being new and idk what else to say or do#vent#lj.txt
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blissfali · 13 days
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i need to complain and be miserable but its gonna involve me dropping my fragile facade of coolness for a moment and i need everyone to be really chill about it and remember how cool and awesome and collected i usually am
#ok#vent#I made a really stupid decision that i wanted to believe would work itself out#i thought if i didnt acknowledge it that eventually it would right itself#but it kept gettng worse tbh#i have a bad habit of doing that when i fuck up#i make a decision knowing that its a bad idea and instead of righting it myself i commit to it without recognizing the harm#i just wanted to do something that would bring me some excitement but i went into it KNOWING that it was not planned out and that it was not#worth it. it was a hasty rushed decision and i only did it for the thrill of impulsivity because the depression had been settling in when#the structure of highschool finally gave way#this whole time ive been trying to pretend like its not crashing down around me#and its not solely my fault but i shouldve said something and i didnt because i wanted somebody else to fox it#i just didnt want to recognize that i fucked up. i hate fucking up especially when i know i have before i even do it. Which sounds weird but#its usually in very specific situations#Goddd i really just. i wish i hadnt kept screwing it over#wish id never gone in the first place it was never going to be worth it#it was so rushed and i hate rushing big plans but i did it anyway#i hold myself to such high standards because if i dont then nobody else is going to#but the consequence of that is unimaginable misery the moment i make an error#and this isnt even an irreversible mistake like its gonna be okay#im gonna be inconvienenced for another few days but thats it#but im still upset#because its not the aftermath its the idea that ive screwed it up in the first place#GOD I SHOULDNT SAID YES HRNRJGKGOFODOEIDJ#im so tired im so angry im so upset and im so sad#guy whos not getting any sleep tonight guy who is sosososo mad at himself#whatever WHATEVER ILL GET THROUGH THIS😭#WHERE IS MY THERAPIST
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iintervallum · 3 months
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the way alice dyer has such a hold on me I'm still thinking about different headcanons for her ahhh
I've doodled her a lot too trying to figure out her design, when i finally have free time I'll unleash my different oiar crew designs because i have many ideas for them all
i do hope this time there's no "locked in" designs for the characters because seeing peoples widely differing designs is a lot of fun!
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