#but it’s helping me hold myself accountable

[strawbebyjam]

listened to francis forever & didn’t cry so. Progress!

[autumnhobbit]

would you all think that continually rescheduling even up to the last minute before an appointment, regularly switching from call to texting even when i’ve said i find texting less helpful because it comes off more brusque, no consistent linear topic directing, constantly directing focus to my day to day life/relationship rather than anything else about me even if i express concern about the rest of it is reason to consider breaking up with a therapist

[themickeysays]

I've actually started working on part 2 of Chariot so if I don't have a chapter posted in a month someone needs to come slap me

[twostepstyless]

Okay bestie nel @lonelycowgirls got me inspired. Like her I’ve had 7 months of fun and living my best life and also a lot of change of leaving a job and starting a new one (which as an aside I’ve officially passed my probationary period, ya girlies employed employed in something she genuinely loves and wants to do) so I need to come back to myself and I’ve currently got the feeling that I’m not spending my time away from work as well as I could be. So here’s some goals and a lot of waffle to go alongside them for the next 5 months for me to shoot for!

1. Do some conscious, meaningful movement every day, whether that’s a hot girl walk, the slow running club I’m doing with some of my girlies, a swim, a class, cycle, yoga flow, a fucking skipping rope, anything, just meaningful movement. I’ve went from a fairly active job to a mostly inactive role and I am feeling the difference.

2. Stop dipping into my savings. My savings are in a fairly healthy manner and I’m good with my income but I’m getting awfully good at dipping a quick wee 30 quid here and another wee 50 quid there and I’m not helping myself by doing that.

3. Be creative for me again. I’ve been in the trenches of the most horrendous creative block I’ve suffered through since I finished art school during covid. By the end of the year I’d like to have done a few things just to feel that spark again. Those include but not limited or restricted to, finishing at least one painting, do at least one of the embroidery projects I want to do, write something for here?? I’m not even overly arsed about what I’m doing or the final outcome really, I just need to do something with my hands that isn’t for my job.

4. Develop more meaningful connections. This doesn’t have to be romantic, but fuck me I need to talk to more people or develop my relationships with the people I do talk to just now.

5. Get back into language learning. I have been trying to learn Italian well since I was probably about 16, I’m now 27 swiftly approaching 28 and I’m still not overly thrilled with my progress but I bloody enjoy doing it so why can’t I just commit to it. My relationship with Duolingo is frosty right now and I’d like to thaw that out!

6. Be consistent with what I’m putting in my body. Food is a hard topic for a lot of people myself included but I know I need to be more consistent with what I’m putting in my body. I hate the term cheat day but it’s the only phrase I can think of that describes the situation. I’m not a person who can have a “cheat day” because it spirals into cheat week cheat month cheat multiple months and then I just get fucked off with myself. I’m team “everything in moderation” but I need to get better at balancing the moderation bit. I don’t even mean only food as being consistent with what I’m putting in my body either. My water intake while I’m at work is 10/10 I knock that shit out of the park, the second I come home and over the weekend, you’d think I’d have never heard of water and then I feel shite cause I’ve actively dehydrated myself, so I’m actively trying to sort that out.

7. This one is so stupid lmao but I think there’s a lot of value in seemingly simple or easy goals to tick off. Get a new hairdresser. My current one loudly complains about cutting my hair because it’s so long and like girlie I’m paying you? So I’m over that and I want someone fresh to let at my locks

8. And the big one that’s been a goal all year but I’ve just not conquered yet. I’d like to make moves to conquer my driving anxiety. I feel like I’ve spoke about this briefly in the past. I am a good driver and I’m confident driving places I know. However, I am terrified of going anywhere outside that. It takes a lot of pushing myself to get on the motorway and once I’m on the motorway I’m fine. It’s coming off and going somewhere new where I don’t know exits etc or all of it really and I know in my heart of hearts I’ll be fine and can figure it out but I just can’t get myself over the fear to actively do it. So I’d love to make some good progress to tackle that before the year is up.

[marxism-lelouchism]

i want to give myself permission to have fun but at the same time i don’t think i deserve it. i feel like a fraud or a hypocrite if i allow myself to have fun when i should be doing some kind of, any kind of political work

[gunsblazin]

housekeeping post:

hey, it’s your friendly neighbourhood mystery box here with some goals i’m aiming to roll out soon!

make the about pages and such more accessible by putting them into posts for each blog. i’ll make them private for a bit before posting them, because that will be… nine posts? and i don’t want to flood the dash. i don’t know if that’s how private to public posts work but i’m sure going to find out

following that, there will be a couple of changes to the rules, but probably nothing major besides clarifications — i’ve also been meaning to actually write out that i’m not strictly following a mutuals only system right now, but i’ll outline more on that in the new rules!

if i have the time and the patience i might go back and update old posts on each blog to match the new tags. i don’t expect this to affect anyone? it’ll just make it easier for me to find things pfft

[superfluouskeys]

aaaaaahhhh i'm so hype I have my first legit korean lessons today!!!

[macabrevampire]

although, through no fault of the show, seeing house's cuts did make me want to relapse

[peaches2217]

I’m in the process of rewiring my brain. My whole life I’ve put such a heavy importance on being The Absolute Best that when I inevitably fall short of my own impossible expectations, I fall into a spiral of crippling self-doubt and loathing. And who does that help? How do I better myself in that way? The answers: no one and I don’t, of course.

Being able to identify these patterns, I’ve decided to make a conscious effort to change them! I’m surrounded by so many kind and talented people; when someone meets the standards I’ve set for myself before I do, it doesn’t mean I’m a bad person and a failure and I should lock myself away. It means they’re more likable and more talented than I am, and I should look to them as examples. I have a lot to learn, and I’m grateful to have so many people I can learn from!

That’s the aim. Replace hopelessness and scathing self-criticism with optimism, betterment, and support of those around me. And maybe it’s a little pathetic that I’m having to actively work at that when I’m pushing 30, but a late start beats the hell out of not starting at all!

[greghatecrimes]

Tomorrow's goal: a couple hundred words of ITD before hell shift two of four

[traaumaa]

getting extremely stressed over simple things....

[0nlyyangel]

i spent 3 hours decorating my ipad lock and home screen so someone besides me needs to bear witness to it

[bloodcoveredgf]

i literally cannot keep living like this

[icewindandboringhorror]

Daily Log 2

Trying out (probably just temporarily) making short daily-ish notes about things, in an attempt to see if it helps me be more reflective or productive lol.

Activities: Much less than yesterday, felt sick and sleepy so barely got anything done. It was also warmer inside today.. Very much dreading summer. I still feel like the people who ~~ love warm weather sooo much~~ must also have central heating and air and are able to escape the warmth, or at least have cool airy houses where they can get cross breezes or something.. I just fail to see how ANYONE could enjoy sweating all day because it's like 75F indoors, etc. grrbb,,, the headaches, sleepless sweaty nights, constant physical discomfort, etc. The next few days look cloudy and rainy though so.. yEs.. haha HA

Got a new charger for my old 2004 nokia phone so it actually turns on now, and recorded myself going through the ringtones and games. I might add the footage to a currently not fully edited video of me also looking through other electronics (old phones, turbo twist math, etc.). I love old ringtones actually and if I were rich, I would love to collect old phones specifically just to have a catalogue of what they're like and all of the sounds they contain.

Managed to have a tiny burst of energy and take photos of 3 outfits before my arms and shoulder started hurting and I got too warm.

Sent email to one doctor.

Translated like 3 words for the Avirrekava poem thing I mentioned yesterday. My language document is not organized very well at all so I've kind of lost my flow of working on it. I've heard about people making searchable dictionary type things for their conlangs, so I'd like to look more into that maybe. As well as making a custom font, though I don't know if that's more difficult for syllabaries (so wouldn't be directly linkable to a plain english alphabet keyboard?? eh?). Anyway, I need to finish the tapestry/painting thing/etc. soon though since I have no good place to put it. The canvas is warping a little just laying haphazardly on my closet floor lol.

Made one quick mspaint background image for the next batch of song snippet things for my jokey music youtube.

Edited like 10 minutes of the Giant Worldbuilding Slideshow Project.. couldn't focus on that either since being at the computer today irritated my shoulders and arms.

Notable sights: Saw 6 baby ducks and their parents swimming in a nearby pond!! It's interesting how their colors seem to change so much, and the young ones have the little spots on their back. Not much else, I was not very active lol..

Goals moving forward: Still working on consistent sleep schedule. Focus on social activities, finding new friends in the places I want to move, communicating with ones I have. Physical therapy exercises. Plant nasturtiums. Finish and upload videos, edit pictures, post the poll adventure thing that has been sitting in a draft for weeks (I thought I would get it done today, but alas.. I don't even have to do much, just proofread and post it, I just keep having no energy/being preoccupied with other things/hurts to be on computer.. grrr.. I want to continue the story lol >:T).

Notable foods: HAD ASPARAGUS YEaaaaaghhhHHHH!!!!!!!!! Asparagus SQUAD!!!!!!!!!! ... Also a few pieces of smoked gouda with lunch, one of my favorite cheeses.

[fnafawoundleftbleedingau]

...partially considering holding off on posting AWLB part 2 until I've got like, the whole thing written, and re-read/reworked in places fully.

[keflibunni]

Hello I need to actually do some drawing tomorrow so please send me more drawing suggestions!!!! Fandom or oc stuff is okay :)