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mydearestreaderfanfics · 4 years

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In Your Arms (Lance x Reader)

Warnings: swearing, pining, angst (with a happy ending)

Word Count: 4,474

Prompt/Request: could you do a lance/ female reader with the prompt/senario "We've been best friends since pre-K, and now we're in college but things seem off, and I'm sad because I've crushed on you for years, oh damn you like me too?" kinda thing?? Best friends to lovers (while being pining idiots) is my jam

Summary: Lance and the reader have been best friends for longer than either can remember, but pining may just cause a rift in their friendship.

Author's Note: I've included a song for this anon, too. The song is the In Your Arms by the artist Kina Grannis. I hope you enjoy!

Author: Mod Alex

I shoved open my best friend’s bedroom door, not even bothering to knock, I hadn’t needed to in a long time. My cheeks felt like they were going to rip from how wide I was smiling. “Guess what?”

Lance looked up from his laptop, a simple smile on his lips. “What?”

I held up the plain white envelope I’d been hiding behind my back up until now. “This is what!” I was practically hopping in place. He set his laptop to the side, moving with grabby hands for it. “Uh, uh, uh! Move over.” He whined but flopped over allowing me enough room to plop down beside him. I slumped over so that I could rest snuggly against him before holding the envelope over both of our heads. “Take a look.”

“It’s from KU!” Lance grabbed your arm, shaking it (and by extension you) with excitement. “Well, open it already.”

“Yeah, yeah. You have no sense of suspense.” You really couldn’t blame him, he’d gotten his letter a week earlier and you had been just as pushy then. You flipped the envelope picking open the paper to reveal the letter.

“Read it, read it, read it!”

You smacked his prying hand away, snatching the letter before he had a chance to. You cleared your throat before speaking, mimicking a faux administrative voice. “Dear Ms. (Y/n) (L/n), it is with great pleasure- oh my god!” Lance beamed, grabbing the letter with one hand and hugging you tight with the other since you had taken to squealing into his chest.

He kept up the ridiculous voice you had been using as he picked up where you left off. “...it is with great pleasure that we inform you that you have been accepted for admission to Kerberos University. Congratulations, (N/n).” He must have set the letter aside because after a moment you felt his other arm come to hold you tight. You relished in the feeling. You two had always been this affectionate, after all, you’d basically grown up together, but sometime around… say seventh grade, your feelings for him had gone from closest friend to friend you wanted to be much, much closer with. So lying here with your ear pressed firmly to his chest and his heart beating steadily with his arms wrapped securely around you was both everything you could possibly want and absolute torture at the same time. You wanted nothing more than to be able to lean up and kiss him, this was the perfect opportunity to, but you couldn't and so you forced yourself to be content with lying with him. And in the meantime, you didn’t have to force yourself to be happy to go to the same university as him.

Realistically speaking the place you'd managed to rent was off-campus and you two would be sharing it with several other people, but your daydreams still took place with you and him in domestic fluff before heading to class and dipping in and out of the house throughout the day. Can you blame a girl? Even if your daydreams were a bit of a stretch from reality, you couldn’t say you were unhappy. Being able to wake up to a post-it note on your oval mirror from Lance wishing you good luck on a test or reminding you that you are fantastic. Cute little things that would send the butterflies in your tummy on a frenzy. The best thing about the shared house, though, was being able to have sleepovers with Lance basically every night. One of you was always falling asleep in the other's room, so much so that you basically shared two rooms- not that you were complaining.

Like this morning, you woke up to the light shining on your face. You groaned quietly in protest before letting your eyes flutter open when the bright annoyance refused to leave. The stars on the ceiling were the first thing you saw. You admired them for a moment, they were the kind that was common in children’s bedrooms- the glowy kind. They weren’t glowing now, it was too bright for that. They were still pretty, though. The stars also meant that you were in Lance’s room, specifically in his bed. It wasn’t abnormal-- like you'd said before you could usually be found here with him and vice versa. You turned, peeking at him from the corner of your eye. He looked beautiful, his features soft and unburdened. It was enough to make your heart thud in your chest. His arm was draped over your midsection, not necessarily holding, but not, not holding you either. You let yourself relax in his presence. “Mmm, good morning, gorgeous.” You blushed, having not expected his flirting to begin this early in the day. It wasn’t real flirting, of course, as you’d reminded yourself countless times in the past, it was just his flamboyant personality.

“Morning yourself. How’d you sleep?” He whined in response, burying his head on your shoulder.

“I’d have slept better if I got to sleep in longer.”

You laughed. “Lance, it’s almost noon.” Just as you had said, the digital alarm on his bedside ticked again, showing the actual time to be 11:48.

“But it’s my day off.” He kept whining and you couldn’t help but chuckle again. It was your free day too and as nice as laying in bed with him was, you had no intention of wasting your one free day by not going out.

“Tough, buddy. Come on-- up and at em’. I’m taking you to breakfast-- er, I guess technically lunch.”

“Oh? Are you asking me on a date, (N/n)?” His voice lilted teasingly. You socked him in the shoulder, glad he wasn’t looking at you to see how flustered his comment had made you.

“Tch, you wish. But seriously hurry up, I’m hungry.”

Lance got up a little while later giving you the opportunity to get ready. The restaurant was a short walk away and was decently cheap (which was good as you planned on paying for both of us!) which was part of why Lance and you frequented this place. The other part was how good their food was. Many study nights had taken place at your humble little hidey-hole.

You two were lucky, though, since it was your free day there would be no studying. Instead, you could sit and enjoy people watching, with good food and even better conversation. Lance's comment stuck with you though, and though you had been quick to write it off, a part of you deeply wished his joking had been true-- that maybe deep down he really had wanted this to be a date. God knows you did. By now the waitress knew your orders, a testament to your frequent visits here. "So what are your plans for the day?"

"I thought you were calling the shots?"

"Haha, you're a free man. You only came cause you wanted food, not because I dragged you here." You stuck out your tongue in a playfully childish manner. He returned the gesture before you both burst into laughter.

"You have a point, but I'm serious. I want to spend my day off with you, so whatever you have planned, count me in." Your heart was making its attempt to pound out of my chest, the butterflies not far behind. You just hoped your blush wasn't as obvious as it felt.

"Well, in that case, you get to spend your day off going with me to the thrift store."

"Oh? Spontaneity or refurbishing?"

"Yes."

"I'm in."

"You don't even know what we're doing."

He beamed at you, "I don't have to. I like surprises and I know it'll be fun since I'm with you." He's too sweet, you could practically melt.

"Alright, sweet! Then after we're done here, we can head over."

Lance had attempted to protest when you paid for breakfast, but eventually, your stubbornness won out, as it generally did in your friendship. You drove your way to a little hole in the wall thrift store that you went to whenever you had a little extra cash on hand. It wasn't as popular as the Goodwill the next street over, but the two ladies who ran it were as sweet as can be and they always had secret gems that you were sure you wouldn't be able to find anywhere else. You'd found an antique chair that, after a quick varnish and reupholstery, was quick to become your favorite chair. Or the time you'd found some beautiful curtains that, while they wouldn't quite fit your window, made for the perfect fabric for a dress. You didn't plan on going for any furniture, save for a nice full-length mirror that you'd been on the lookout for. No, while that had been your original plan for the day, you had completely changed course now that you were in the company of Lance. You wanted to have some fun. In the parking lot, you explained the game to Lance.

“Okay, so the way it works is we both have a budget of ten dollars and we have to create a full outfit for each other. I figure since we’ve known each other since forever it should work better since we know each other's style. And don’t be an ass, since there’s somewhere I plan on going later with you in these outfits. What do you think?”

He grinned at you, “Sounds fun.”

You split up once you got into the shop. Occasionally you’d sneak glances at him and he’d stick his tongue out at you and tell you to stop peaking. You’d laugh and tell him you just wanted to make sure he wasn’t going to make you look ridiculous. Of course, you knew he wouldn’t, he had a better sense of style than most of your friend group combined. Thankfully you were familiar with this sense of style and had already taken to curating an outfit for him. You’d been here dozens of times so you knew just how to find the perfect deals and the most eye-catching pieces. So far you’d found a Nasa shirt that would make a nice contrast to a darker jean jacket you’d found. You wanted to find a nice pair of light jeans to balance it all, but so far you hadn’t had any luck. It was as you perused the aisles of clothes and did the mental math to figure out just how much more you could spend when you saw them-- the most perfect pair of light blue acid-washed jeans you’d ever seen. If they hadn't been exactly Lance’s size, you would have considered buying and tailoring them for yourself. At this point, you figured you could stop but you still had three bucks left and the shoe aisle was calling to you. ”Oh, well aren’t you perfect,” you mumbled to yourself as you found a pair of boots, a pair of knockoff Doc Martens, that looked exactly like a pair Lance had loved before they wore out not long ago. One of the ladies called you over and you obliged her, you wouldn’t ring anything up until after Lance had tried everything on just to make sure everything fit right, but you had no problem with chatting with her until Lance had finished.

“Oh, dear, I think it’s so cute that your boyfriend and you are doing that-- what do they call it Maggie?”

“Goodwill Date Night, love.”

“Yes, thank you hon. I think it’s so cute that your boyfriend and you are doing that Goodwill Date Night and at our humble shop no less!”

You squeaked, trying to shake your hands to tell her, no, but they were full. “We aren’t, he’s not my boyfriend. He’s just my best friend, I just thought it would be a fun thing to do. It’s not like that, Ruth.”

She giggled to herself. “Alright, dear whatever you say.” She turned to Maggie and they talked like two schoolgirls sharing in delightful gossip. You sighed, walking over to the dressing room where you and Lance planned to meet, it was as you walked there that you found on a rack of hats a grey and white striped beanie. It was still a little chilly out so it wouldn’t be terrible to wear temperature-wise, and it polished off your ten bucks leaving you with no more than measly chump change.

A few minutes later Lance joined you, he was grinning but it didn’t meet his eyes. Something was wrong. “Lance are you ok-”

“Here you are! Oh are these for me, you shouldn’t have!” He took the bundle of clothes from you like a child on Christmas, and yet it didn’t feel right. He had just cut your sentence off, something he never did. Just as you were about to comment on it, he bounded over to the dressing room. Worry gnawed at you, but there wasn't much you could do with him in the dressing room. Instead, you took your clothes and went into the dressing room next door to Lance to get changed. It was the perfect outfit, you’d expected no less, of course. The jacket he threw in fit you like a glove, and it was just light enough that you knew you wouldn’t overheat. The cute pair of shoes he'd picked out for you somehow even managed to be comfy!

“You ready?”

“You know it!” Both of you left your respective dressing rooms.

“Yay! The jacket fits! You’re out here looking like a full course meal, Lancy.” You spoke playfully, though you meant every word. He didn’t respond, and you looked up at him to see he looked, well, starstruck. He seemed to realize you caught him and he shook himself out of it.

Yet, when he spoke his voice still had certain awe to it. “You look, you look stunning, (N/n).” Your eyes widened for a moment before you broke your gaze from his, refusing to make eye contact, afraid that if you did you would do or say something to tarnish your friendship, but god, if you didn’t want to kiss his beautiful face right now.

Lance continued to be strange throughout the rest of the evening, although he agreed to keep by your side for the rest of the day as he’d originally told you. Keeping up with the theme of spontaneity, you decided to try another thing you’d always wanted to do but never had the guts to ask Lance on a real date to do it. So a should-have-been date was now a platonic outing with your best friend, even if you still really wished it was a date. So after adorning your new outfits, you began your “penny date”, a concept where one person chooses a number between ten and twenty, symbolizing how many times a penny is flipped, heads for right and tails for left. The penny is flipped when you arrive at a junction and by the time you run out of flips, you have to find something for a “date” at the location. Although Lance was still being weird and a little distant, much to your growing concern, he did seem to enjoy the idea. The game had led you to a little arcade where you and Lance spent the rest of the night playing various retro games and ate more pizza than you’d like to admit.

“It’s getting late, should we turn in?” You two were in an uninhabited corner of the arcade, not that there were many people, to begin with.

“Mmm, maybe. Just a few more games?” You gave him your best puppy dog eyes, instead of laughing or play arguing like he usually did, he looked away, and you swear you could see the faintest hint of a blush on his cheeks.

“Yeah, we can stay a little longer.” You took his hand, it would eat at you forever if you didn’t find out what was bothering him. His head snapped up, eyes fixing on your intertwined hands.

“Lance, please, I know something is wrong. You’ve been acting off since the thrift shop. I thought maybe I was imagining things, but I don’t think I was. You can talk to me, you know? Did I do something to upset you?” His other hand had come up to hold your cheek tenderly.

“No, no you didn’t-- I’m the one that messed up.”

“Hey, you didn’t do anything wrong.” He shook his head sadly.

“I did.”

“I don’t understand.”

“(Y/n).” Was it just you or was he leaning closer as he spoke? “It’s because.” Your eyes started to flutter shut, he was going to kiss you! “I like-”

“Sorry to interrupt but we’re closing. I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” Lance and you shot apart as if you’d been burned.

That had been almost a week ago. That night the drive home had been filled with a suffocating awkward silence. Since then it was like Lance had been avoiding you. Honestly, at this point, you didn’t know what to do. Your friends had even begun to notice your mopey behavior. A knock sounded at your bedroom door; you had yet to get out of bed today and you weren’t about to now. Whoever it was could just go away. When no other knock came you thought whoever it was had left, and then the door opened. If you had the energy to you’d groan in exasperation. “Oh, (N/n).” The hint of anger you had harbored at the intruder melted away as your friend Hunk sat beside you on the bed. “When was the last time you got up?” You shrugged as best you could while lying face down. “What happened? Did you and Lance have a fight?” His comment made you wonder if Lance was being weird with the others. You supposed it was if Hunk thought you had fought. You shook your head. He got up and you assumed your noncommital attitude had run him off too, but a moment later you felt him sit again. He began brushing your hair and despite your whines, you settled down quickly. It felt nice and you were sure you needed it. He hummed, filling the mocking silence with warmth. “Can you sit up? If not that’s okay, it would just be easier to braid it if you were sitting.”

“Okay.” Your voice was croaky from lack of use, but Hunk still smiled encouragingly. His fingers carded through your hair with ease and when he finished he pulled you into a hug. You broke. Tears that had come and gone in solitude now poured freely down your cheeks as Hunk shushed you. “I don’t know what I did. He hates me now, Hunk. I don’t know how to fix things, I just want him back.” You blabbered, words blurring together. Knowing he couldn’t do much to fix anything, Hunk just rocked you until your sobs subsided. When they did you pulled away from the hug.

“So you did have a falling out?” He spoke carefully, afraid you might fall apart again.

“That’s the thing, I thought we were okay. The other day we were going out to a couple places and after the thrift shop he was being strange and then....” You sighed, hugging yourself, taking a breath to steady yourself. “And then I thought maybe he was going to kiss me and we got interrupted and it’s been even worse since then. Whenever I do see him he acts as if nothing happened but he won't stay around me any longer than five seconds. It’s been a week, Hunk. I’m dying.”

“You said the thrift store?”

“Yeah?” Hunk gave an exasperated sounding laugh.

“(N/n), things are going to be okay. For now, I need you to trust me on that, okay. There are muffins downstairs, fresh. You should go eat. I’ll be back before dinner.”

“Wha-- Where are you going?”

“I’m fixing things!” He called out as he left.

Although a big part of you wanted to lay back down and mope, you needed to work on the schoolwork that you’d put off and... the muffins did smell good. Nobody else was home, so you felt a bit better about leaving the security of your room. After a couple of muffins and the first round of schoolwork, you took a quick shower and put yourself back together. You still felt destroyed but at least now you looked like less of a wreck. You’d taken to studying at your desk in your room by the time Hunk got back. It was much earlier than he had told you, still hours before dinner. “(N/n), you look much better.”

You sighed, “I tried to do what you asked, but I still feel like a raging dumpster fire.”

He gave you a sympathetic smile, “I figured. But I’m proud of you for doing this much. I need to ask you to do one more thing, though.”

“Oh?”

“Can you go meet Pidge at the library, she needs back her copy of some textbook. I don’t remember which one, sorry.” He rubbed the back of his neck like he did whenever he was embarrassed.

“Oh, um, sure.” You wanted to ask how the fixing was going but you didn’t want to seem pushy. Besides, you could always ask him when you got back, you guess.

You got to the library which was thankfully only a short jog away from the parking lot. You pulled out your phone to shoot her a text asking where she was when you didn’t automatically see Pidge. Almost instantly you got a message telling you that she was in a study room. You smiled knowingly, it was typical of Pidge to reserve a study room all to herself for days on end. You trekked that way, keeping an eye out for the room number she said she would be in. It was at the end of the hall. “Hey, sorry for keeping your textbook for so lo-- Lance?” Lance was reclining in one of the chairs; he had almost fallen when you entered.

“(Y/n), what are you doing here?”

“I’m meeting Pidge, to return her textbook. What are you doing here?”

“I’m meeting Hunk, he wanted to try out a new recipe and said he was coming from the culinary building.” Your eyebrow furrowed. What was he talking about? Hunk was at home. It registered then, a light-bulb moment indeed. You’d been had. You turned to leave, but the doors slammed in your face, Pidge’s voice calling out from behind it.

“Sorry, (N/n), I had to do it to ya.” She snorted at her own meme reference. “You guys need to talk through things. I am not spending another second watching you two lovesick fools mope because you each think you ruined your friendship.” You flustered, she really was just gonna expose you like that.

“Pidge, you can’t just lock us in here-” Lance was beside you now, banging on the door.

“Actually I can, and I did. I’ll be back in an hour.” True to her word, Pidge’s footsteps faded away despite Lance and your protests.

You slumped at the door while Lance paced the room like a caged tiger. Watching him stabbed at your heart until you’d curled in on yourself, fighting off a fresh wave of tears. Did he hate being around you that much? What had you done? Lance noticed your disposition, his concern quickly switching from the situation to you. Within moments he was at your side. You were so confused, for a week now he’d been acting like he wanted nothing to do with you and now he was at your side trying to console you. You must have said that out loud since Lance has stopped all of his ministrations to eye you with guilt. “(N/n)-”

“Lance, can’t you just talk to me? We’ve been best friends since pre-K, but it’s like you want nothing to do with me.”

“It’s not that, I swear to you. It’s… It’s actually the opposite.”

“What?”

“I’ve crushed on you for years, honestly at this point, I’m pretty sure what I feel for you is more than a crush. Back at the thrift shop that day I heard you talking with the shop owners. You made it pretty clear my feelings aren’t reciprocated.”

“You like me?”

“Yeah, and I almost kissed you and ruined our friendship and I haven’t been able to face you because I know you just see us as friends, and I don't want to ruin that, but I just-- I can’t want that. Not anymore. I want to go on silly dates with you like that and wake up next to you and hold you and kiss you and just be able to know that I’m not an idiot for falling in love with my best friend-- I… I’m sorry.” He turned away from you, mortified at spilling his heart out.

“Lance.” You took his hand, but he still refused to look at you. “Lancy.” Your voice was soft, tender even. “I like you too. I have for a long time, like a really long time. Why do you think I took you out on that excursion. I mean jeez, I haven’t exactly been subtle.”

“But you told the ladies-”

“I was flustered and to be fair we weren’t dating.” He looked even more embarrassed if that was even possible.

“I am so sorry.”

You shook your head. “You have no reason to be. We could have handled that better sure, but,” you shrugged, “everything turned out right in the end. I guess we owe Hunk and Pidge our thanks. Although I do wonder how he found out about the thrift shop...”

“I may have told him my woes.” You chortled at his embarrassed mumble. You wiped away a tear from laughing to see Lance holding open the arm that wasn’t occupied by your hand. You practically flew into his arms. You stayed cuddled in each other's arms like that for a good long while after all Pidge said she was going back in an hour.

Bonus:

That night, Lance had taken to cuddling you in your bed. You’d been joined at the hip since that afternoon when Pidge had come to free you. Your friends were happy to have you both happy again and were quick to remind you that you owed them, although they were mostly jesting. You didn't mind much either way. Lance was officially your boyfriend, your greatest wish come true. At the moment he was almost asleep, happily tucked in with you when you spoke. “Wait so you mean to tell me that we could have been together for a lot longer?”

“Well, damn.”

#voltron #lance x reader #fanfictions #lance mcclain #swearing #pining #angst #mod alex

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nisaadventures · 4 years

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I’m turning 30 in 10 days... yikes.

The last year of my life has sucked... lol. Okay, it wasn’t all bad. I’m exaggerating... but I’m also not. I know there were plenty of nice moments in the last year... but when I think about the last year of my life, its just full of so many firsts... awful firsts...

First time celebrating their birthdays without them...

First holiday season without them... anyone else miss mom’s turkey? Most people don’t like traditional thanksgiving dinner because the turkey is more often dry... mom’s was never dry... Okay the key people.. Don’t actually cook your stuffing in the turkey. Its just going to suck all the juice life out of your bird... I mean come on. Trick #1 stuff the turkey with fresh cut oranges and yes, you can leave the skin on... #2 do majority of the oven time in an oven bag to keep the moisture in. #3 cook breasts down. Its the part thats usually most dry, so duh... keep it in the juicy, buttery goodness of the pan. I never made the entire meal, I usually just helped mom with everything. These are just some things I’ve taken away in my observations.

Halloween trip to Disneyland without them... Disney is always a good time, but I’d be lying if I said my heart didn’t feel heavy in some way... and that is saying something because Disneyland is my happy place lol.

Looking forward to 2020... Hoping that it had so much better in store for us.

Dear lord... what a joke.

Going to Hawaii for our “family trip” without them...

A pandemic without them... I mean yes, I’m thankful they aren’t out there with COVID on the rise... I’m glad they’re not stuck at home because COVID. Mom and Michael are both too much of busy bees to be cooped up in the house for too long.

Not going to lie... picking up where they left has been hard. All of moms plants... The dogs.. Taking care of the backyard, where Michael usually would. Mom would definitely do too much at once. She’d be out in the yard planting something and pulling out something else in her damn UGG boots! wth mom?! Those are expensive! lol. “Oh its fine.. I’ll wash them.” Omg lol. Either that, or she’d be over here trying to move heavy a$$ pots by herself and I’d have to stop her before she hurt her back. Ayiyi.

Keanu and Aria’s birthdays without them... seeing my babies sad and missing their grandma, grandpa, and aunties has been hard. It will be out of nowhere sometimes... and all the nights of Aria waking up in the middle of the night crying. I feel you baby girl... I get it. I miss them too... Its okay to be sad... Mantras...

You were her little rays of sunshine. Grandpa and grandma loved you SOOOO much.

Mom would babysit the kids on Saturday mornings, while Kuya, Vaness, and I went to workout. They’d go get breakfast, pancakes and eggs, at UJs. She’d take them to Target, the dollar store, Walmart, etc. just so they could look and maybe get something to play with together. She always crafted with them.

Living in this house... especially with COVID... has been hard. I miss just sitting at the dinner table, eating sho mi, and talking about work. Mom and Michael getting all worked up over some crazy manager, or something going down with the union.. yup, that’s where I get it from... advocacy and leadership skills FTW. One thing they could always talk about for HOURS was work lol.

I remember when I was a little girl, Mom would let me play in the bathtub until I was all wrinkled. She would let me bring all my toys into the tub. At one point I even had a care bear doll that she, for some reason, let me take in the bath lol. She’d throw it in the dryer for me after I was done.

I remember going to the grocery store with mom and leaving with two full a$$ grocery carts because we had a full house at all times. I mean it was Kuya, my cousin Jojo, my brother Derric, my cousin John, Bubba, my cousin Jay, me and whoever else was over the house lol. When Kuya was in high school, it was all of his buddies partying at our house and crashing on the floor in the living room, dining room, and all the couches. She was the #1 host for sure.

“Are you hungry? Did you eat yet?”

Thats love.

All of Kuya’s high school friends called her Mom. My friends called her Mama Fern. She loved that.

I remember playing hide n go seek in the dark in our tiny town house.. Later in the bigger house on Glenbriar... where mom actually tripped and broke her arm... But she laughed so hard she peed her pants, so she was a good sport? lol. Needless to say, we sort of stopped playing after that.

I remember making dim sum with mom for the first time. Such a hot mess, flour and food everywhere, but so fun. We definitely didn’t do that again until there were more adults around to help lol. Mom knew how to run through a kitchen like a tornado. Hot mess! but the best cook.

Mom was always careful. She always wanted to make sure we were safe, that I was safe. I couldn’t go outside unless one of the boys was with me. When I would swim she would get nervous, even though I learned how to swim at a young age thanks to Kuya. One day, we were having a bbq, lots of family over, I was playing in the jacuzzi (drawing on the wall of the jacuzzi with a piece of chlorine... don’t play with chemicals kids lol) and she thought I was drowning? So she jumps her a$$ in there fully clothed and yanks my a$$ out. I was shocked as hell, so I naturally started crying hella hard and complaining about the fact that she scratched me when she yanked me up out of the water lol.

Keep in mind that that was not the first time one of the twins jumped into the pool fully clothed to “save” someone hahaha.

Speaking of fully clothed in the pool... The time auntie tripped and fell slo-mo style (that questionable, are you going to catch your balance, speed) into the pool LOL. Mom was dead laughing at her. Most hilarious video.

Those twins lol.

Jeeze.. speaking of the twins. They had this crazy connection. Tell me why when mom got sick with suspected viral meningitis and had to be hospitalized... Auntie straight up followed her right into the ICU with viral meningitis...

Who remembers their 50th birthday? Talk about doing it BIG. So much fun. All the performances. Lani was there... KMA performances and kuya and John getting down for Maglalatik. Who doesn’t like seeing some half naked, buff dudes, bang coconuts together? haha. The twins getting down with their hula performance. Cute!

I remember when Mom and pops were going through their divorce and she would text me after midnight. I was going to Sac State and of course I was team NO sleep at the time. I would be in the AIRC studying. I’d comfort as best as I could from a distance... and then come home on weekends to be there with her when I could.

She found her footing again. Started going to the gym with Kuya more... Started running all the time... all of her half marathons and finally she did the Nike Women’s Marathon.

Hiking Half Dome with her. What.a.badass.

That is really how I see her. She was so badass. When she was my age she had my 9 year old Kuya and I was on the way... She was working and supporting us and then eventually decided to make a better life for us, and went back to school... NURSING SCHOOL. wth. I can’t even imagine doing that right now, but reminding myself of where she has been and how much she PUT IN WORK... That keeps me grounded in the fact that we are responsible for our lives. If you want something, you have to work for it. You can’t just hope for better... you make better happen.

I guess its that reminder... her strength... her and Michael’s love and hard work... That keeps me going.

Being mindful... being thankful... acknowledging my own strength...

But with that said... August has been increasingly hard. I don’t like to think about my birthday. I don’t even want to plan anything. They’re not here... I can’t celebrate with all my loved ones and friends. Thank you COVID...

We’re just getting closer and closer to the anniversary? Nah.. lets not call it that... anniversary sounds like something nice... something to celebrate... This is NOT that. The day your loved ones are taken is not something to celebrate... I mean honestly, if I had to pinpoint the worst day of my life, that was it.... When I think about that day I can’t breathe. Terrible memories... so many sleepless nights. I’ve come so far. Its still hard, but I’ve come a long way.

Anyway... this post is sort of random and nostalgic. Things I hold onto. Things that make me happy cry... Things that weigh heavy on my heart.

Here’s my playlist for grief... reminders of them... collected over the last year:

Aloha for now -Kaleo Vai & Passion

One day at a time -Jennifer Chung

In the end - Gabe Bondoc, Melissa Polinar, Passion

Round and around -Kolohe Kai

Fade Away -Rebelution

Alive -The Green

New Day -Kimie’

Angels above me -Stick Figure

Memories -Maroon 5

Wish you pain -Andy Grammer

100 -Katchafire

Everyday life -Coldplay

Out of the darkness -Isla vista worship, Bre Reed

Amen -Andra Day

Grateful -13 Crowns feat. Poo Bear

Rainbow Connection -Gwen Stefani

Be okay -ZOE worship

With you -Eryn Allen Kane

Dont worry -Mesto feat. Aloe Blacc

Just livin’ -Sensi trails, Kbong

Remember me -Miguel, Natalia Lafourcade

Even more -Major

Let it be -Xav A.

Give Thanks -Iya terra, Stick figure

Mr. Sun -Sammy Johnson

Rest easy -Thrive, Nico of Tribal Theory

Sunny Days- Allen Stone

Today’s a new day -Common Kings

Mother’s Love -Jonah Jaxon, Micah G

The bones -Maren Morris, Hozier

Give you blue -Allen Stone

And we remain -Johnnyswim

Yellow -Kina Grannis

Streetcar -Daniel Caesar

Meant to be -Bebe Rexha, Florida georgia line

All you need to know -Gryffin, slander, Calle Lehmann

Like I’m gonna lose you -Jasmine Thompson

#ohanaovereverything #threeoh #grief #memories #family #loss

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tacticalgrandma · 6 years

Text

New Pregame Interactions Masterpost

Anniversary added a bunch of new ones and I’m trying to find them all. I know If there are any others I’m missing, let me know! I’ll update this. Also a lot of these are from @agenthill or sent to me by @kinaesthetiq– thanks you two <3 **Edit 1: Updated with Zarya & Junkrat and Orisa & McCree interactions (thank you @tankdyke for the former, and Kina for still being on the grind!) People in the comments have said they’ve heard a variant of the Ana line with Tracer, a Symmetra & Doomfist interaction, and a Symmetra & Hanzo interaction, so if you have the transcript for any of those, please lmk! **Edit 2: @sombrashair got me Sombra’s half of a Sombra & Bastion interaction and possibly a whole Sombra & Pharah one, as well as Pharah’s half of a Pharah & Tracer, Pharah & Soldier: 76, and Pharah & Ana interaction. If anyone has the other halves of those, or confirmation on the Sombra & Pharah one, that would be awesome! In any case, thank you so much Lauren for my whole entire life <3 Also, putting this under a cut now, because it’s getting long.

**Edit 3: @sombrashair with mvp status getting me the other side of the Pharah & Ana interaction, as well as some Moira & Winston ones! Also @pointblankerror sent me the other half of the Pharah & Soldier interaction– thank you! Interactions that have been requested and completed have been strike through’d, the remaining bold ones are ones that I still need!

**Edit 4: Lauren got me (possibly) the other half of Ana & Tracer’s interaction and the other half of Tracer & Pharah’s, and @fearlessstateofmind came through with a bunch of really cool ones! Also @datnoise sent me a Genji and Zarya interaction. You guys are so awesome, thank you so much <3

**Edit 5: I am now legally required to buy @sombrashair a fruit basket. A bunch of Doomfist & Symmetra interactions have been added thanks to her, plus an adorable Orisa & Tracer one. @agenthill also confirmed the Ana & Tracer one and Pharah & Sombra one, as well as helped me narrow down a Doom interaction– thank you!! However, a Doomfist & Hanzo interaction and a Doomfist & Ana or Soldier: 76 interaction are incomplete. If you know these, the previous non struck through bold ones, or any ones we’re missing, please lmk!

**Edit 6: While I was at work, Lauren and a bunch of other people sent me more, so this is adding a lot! @theomnicode, @kinaesthetiq, and @crystallisedrain all sent in quotes– thank you guys! Also Doomfist & Hanzo has been completed and some lines have been corrected. We’re missing Orisa’s half of an Orisa & Genji interaction, and commenter also said that there was been a Brigitte & Pharah interaction (@fearlessstateofmind sent me what could be the Pharah side– thank you!) But as of now that, the other half of the Sombra & Bastion one, and the Symmetra & Hanzo one are the only ones I know are missing.

**Edit 7: So right after I posted the last edit, I went to discord and saw the Hammeh video. That video does not have the rest Orisa & Genji interaction, or the Brigitte & Pharah one, but it does have some new ones that weren’t mentioned in the comments. We have the Junkrat & Genji interaction, the variants on Ana’s line, and a Doomfist line he didn’t, but I’m wiped and can’t be entirely sure if this list has any more the video doesn’t. In any case, I think it’s worth having transcriptions of them, so I’m going to keep it up and add the ones that weren’t on here before. Unless we get the missing ones mentioned, this should be the last update. Thank you so much to everyone who helped, especially @sombrashair, who did a ton of mining for this!

**Edit 8: @cameoappearance sent me a new Torbjorn & Bastion interaction, @chocobonoises sent me a variant on the Orisa & Doomfist interaction, and @angelic-nymphia clarified about the Brigitte & Pharah interaction– thank you all!

**Edit 9: Found new interactions in the main tag, from @aurous-android and @eridansquared! ( x . x . x )

Moira: Your condition seems relatively stable. Reaper: No one’s accused me of that in a long time.

Soldier: 76: You were a disgrace to Overwatch. If I had known what Reyes had been planning, I would never have allowed it. Moira: It seems to me that it was convenient for you not to look too closely into Gabriel’s business.

Moira: Well I won’t have to worry about my safety while the brave agents of Helix are with us. Fareeha: Don’t be so sure about that!

Ana: Ahh, youth truly is wasted on the young. Lúcio: Ana, have you SEEN my schedule? or D.va: Aw, come on, Ana! I bet you got up to all sorts of trouble when you were my age. or Tracer: At least statistically, i've wasted less than most.

Mercy: Lúcio, I never realized your father was the one who invented Vishkar’s sonic technology. Lúcio: The cortex was his life’s work, owned and patented by Vishkar… but it’s mine now.

Pharah: Helix should keep the peace in Vishkar developments. Symmetra: We do not need an army to keep the peace– we prefer our order.

Moira: Dr. Zhou. I’m interested in your colleague’s research into the long term effects of cryogenic freezing. Mei: Well.. yes… sure… maybe… *soft crying*

Mercy: Describing your work as unethical would be a kindness. Moira: But the true question is whether or not you can deny my discoveries. No. I didn’t think so.

Moira: Our courageous cowboy. The years haven’t changed you much, have they, Jesse? McCree: They certainly haven’t changed my feelings about working with you.

Orisa: Jesse McCree, outlaw. Bounty: $60 million. That would be enough to put Efi through college. McCree: Aw hey now, wait a minute.

Junkrat: I admire the way you deal with those bots. Wanna team up?. Zarya: Not if you were the last human on Earth.

Sombra: Pharah... ever wonder why you were never accepted into Overwatch? Almost like someone didn't want you to join. Pharah: Have you ever considered getting a new hobby?

Sombra: Ah... you'd make a good barista Bastion. Bastion: [growling noise]

Pharah: Tracer, have you thought about joining Helix? We could always use a good pilot. Tracer: Aww, i'm flattered, really! But I have some other things occupying my time now.

Pharah: I'm keeping an eye on you, [sarcastically] Soldier: 76. Soldier: 76: Now where have I heard that before?

Pharah: Mum... don't you think it's time you told Sam you're alive? Ana: You let me worry about what your father needs to know.

Winston: Overwatch had good reason to shut down your research. Moira: I shouldn't be surprised at such a narrow opinion coming from a jumped. up. ape.

Moira: Winston... you were never frustrated at the restrictions overwatch placed on your research? Winston: Of course. But sometimes, a measure of caution is needed in a scientist.

Ana: Are you behaving yourself Genji? Genji: Heheh. On my best behavior, Captain.

Junkrat: You look like you bit off more than you can chew. Genji: I was a reckless youth. But you are something else entirely.

Torbjorn: McCree? What happened to your arm? McCree: Always admired yours. Figured I'd get one of my own.

Zenyatta: Symmetra, you speak of law and of order, but you must know that life is chaotic by its very nature Symmetra: Hmph. To be lectured about chaos and disorder from a machine.

Orisa: Tekhartha Zenyatta, I wish to learn about the Iris. Zenyatta: I would be happy to teach you. It is rare that I meet one with such an unformed mind.

Doomfist: You know McCree the winning side would pay much better. Maybe buy yourself some real clothes. McCree: My clothes? Have you seen some of the things Talon wears?

Genji: How can I convince you that I am still a man? Zarya: I know what you are. I’m only sorry that you do not.

Lúcio: Vishkar's using you! Just like they used my father. Yeah you just wait, you'll see." Symmetra: Your father was a Vishkar employee. He understood our company's vision. A shame he never educated you.

Doomfist: Retirement suits you. Ana or Soldier: 76: or Torbjorn: And i think a hammer to the face suits you.

Doomfist: You disappoint me, Hanzo. With Talon, you could truly fulfil your destiny. Hanzo: Find another errand boy, Akande!

Doomfist: Watch my back out there, Lacroix. Widowmaker: Tell me what needs to be done, and I will do it.

Doomfist: Symmetra, I am familiar with your work. I look forward to seeing it in person. Symmetra: My purpose is to create order. You are the embodiment of chaos.

Symmetra: Doomfist, you are mistaken. only with order can humanity evolve. Doomfist: Order... chaos... means to an end.

Orisa: Tracer... is it wrong for us to operate outside the law? Tracer: That's a difficult question, Orisa. I think there are times when you just have to do what's right.

Orisa: Doomfist! You will be brought to justice. Doomfist: We will all see justice done in the end. or Doomfist: Haha...I like you.

Torbjorn: You know, Fareeha, I could take a look at fixing up your suit if you'd like. Pharah: And mess it up with a bunch of scrap metal bolted on the side? No thanks, I like it the way it is.

Zenyatta: I believe you could find peace… if you were to search within yourself. Doomfist: What is tranquility but stagnation?

Genji: What does it feel like to be able to change the past? Tracer: Sometimes the past doesn't want to change.

Genji: Orisa! You grow stronger each time I see you! Orisa: My artificial intelligence allows me to grow from my experiences and observations.

McCree: They wouldn't even have to pay me to put you away. Doomfist: Then how would you afford the hospital bills?

Lúcio: What do you think, Pharah? Got time for a game? Pharah: After the mission? You're on!

Zenyatta: Genji, how was your reunion with your brother? Genji: He is still not ready for time to flow forward again.

Winston: Tekhartha Zenyatta, do you believe that overwatch should return? Zenyatta: I believe that we must all do our part to find solutions to the troubles that are before us.

Orisa: Reinhardt, why is your shield so important to you? Reinhardt: It is a reminder of my duty.

Orisa: Reinhardt, i have allocated my learning processes towards analyzing your combat performance! Reinhardt: What an odd compliment.

Symmetra: Order and discipline. That is the only way to live. Hanzo: I sense a kindred spirit.

Roadhog: Keep your stuff off the table. Junkrat: I’m hurt! I am nothing if not a courteous houseguest.

Zenyatta: I hear that you have taken in an Omnic, Torbjorn. Torbjorn: I don’t want to talk about it.

Torbjorn: Bastion. I bet you haven’t had a systems check in years. Who knows what kind of weird behaviors you picked up. Bastion: [sort of mm-hmm! beeping noise]

Junkrat: Don’t suppose you’d like to trade… fists, I mean. Doomfist: I don’t think you could handle it.

Junkrat: Bots. Dime a dozen. Orisa: Actually, Efi spent most of our Adawe foundation grant on me. It was not inexpensive.

[was in game before patch] Pharah: Brigitte, it’d be cool if you could take a look at my armor sometime. Brigitte: [no response]

Torbjörn: Hey! Stop following me around! Shoo! Bastion: [whimpering beeping, similar to one of their critical health sounds] [on Hanamura attack]

D.Va: Genji, I heard you used to have all the high scores here! Genji: That’s right! Wait, used to? …Hey, where did they all go?!

Mei: Orisa, you are adorable! Orisa: I will pass your feedback onto Efi, I believe that she will be pleased! [on Junkertown]

Junkrat: You know, I never would have taken you for someone with such a homely home. Roadhog: If you don’t like it, stay in your room.

#overwatch #angela ziegler #mei ling zhou #satya vaswani #symmetra #ana amari #pharah #gabriel reyes #mercy #orig

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vantekay · 6 years

Text

thankful for you

its (almost) officially the new year! although I am writing this post in advance, its a new year and its time for some fresh starts.

I wanted to start this new year off by making a thank you post to my mutuals, anons, and followers; starting out with my mutuals. Also this will probably be pretty long and sappy so just a warning haha.

@peachyuns was the first mutual I made on this site, we met over the dora au that plagued Twitter and freaked out over it together, although we don't talk as much anymore she still helped me kick start this blog! she sent me some tumblrs who did the hex code layouts I told her I wanted to start and I will forever be grateful for that, never forget how talented and sweet you are, I love you tam 💕.

@couture-kookie was the second mutual I made on this site and helped me a lot when it came to understanding how to make a masterlist 😂 we would send each other memes and talk about how ugly twitter is and I always laughed when we would message. You are such an amazing writer and an amazing person! I love you court 💕.

@melonkooky was the next mutual I made and I am so grateful for her as well. She helped me with this blog a lot too, mostly just me spouting ideas out and her telling me I should go for it 😂 but it was the motivation I needed to get this blog to where it is now even if it isn't too big right now. You are so sweet and funny and just an amazing person, not to mention talented at writing. I love you mina 💕.

@bangtanmssg thank god I got the balls to message you about making your masterlist for you. I'm so glad we met, and I'm so excited to be an admin for you new blog! It makes me so happy to know that you have enlisted so much trust in me and I hope you know I trust you a lot too. you're such a sweet and caring person and I hope we can grow as friends. never ever lose the light that you possess, because believe me when I say you can make anybody's day better just by being you. I love you sol 💕.

@vantaeta we met through the new blog! I was very nervous when I first messaged you about the theme of the blog but you were so nice it melted all my worries away. We clicked pretty much instantly and I'm so grateful to be working with such a funny and kind person. You are super talented and I hope you have happy days forever. I love you rae 💕.

@triviamang , you are so so so sweet and caring its so endearing and makes me happy if that makes sense haha. you have such a pure soul and I'm so glad we became mutuals. You're so talented at writing and I'm so excited to see how your account continues to grow, hopefully our friendship can grow along with it :) I love you ness 💕.

@ethertae you are absolutely lovely and I love you. we don't talk much but thats okay! seeing your posts on my dash makes me so happy. You are an absolute sweetheart and I love being mutuals with you. You are incredibly talented and such an interesting person, I hope we can grow closer this year :) I love you kina 💕 .

@namiiy I am so glad we met, you are the brightest and most positive person I have ever met. You've made my bad days just those little bit brighter and made me hopeful for the next days to come. Thank you for always being so kinda and having such a beautiful soul. I love you nam (sorry idk what to call you ah) 💕.

@taes-strawberry we only just met but! you are so amazing and incredible and just all of it. I thought our first convo would be awkward but it was so easy to talk to you and that is so amazing to me. I love how alike we are and I really hope we continue to be crackheads together. I love you rahmah 💕

to all of you I just made little messages for, please never forget that you are loved and valued. and if you ever need someone to talk to I am here :)

to my handful of anon friends:

I really do love you guys a lot, your asks never fail to make my day even if it’s something as simple as a hello. I always thought it was kind of silly when I saw other and bigger blogs posting simple asks and saying that it made their day until I actually started receiving them myself. even if you think whatever you have to say isn’t important believe me when I say it is. please never hesitate to send me an ask- anon or not- and tell me about your day, tell me something good that happened to you recently or even tell me something you just need to get off of your chest. I’m the kind of person who loves to help others, I always give advice and I always try to help to the best of my ability and knowledge so please always know that I am here for you, and if you don’t want everyone on the blog to know about what you’re going through you can always just message me privately! I promise it will always stay between us. my messages are always open for anybody and any situation :)

to my followers:

thank you guys for being here for me and enjoying the content I put out on this blog. I’ve always somewhat felt bad about myself as a content creator (though I feel like I shouldn’t even call myself that cause I do the bare minimum compared to other really good art or writing blogs but thats just me) because I don’t put out things like fics or reactions but that’s simply because I don’t feel confident in my writing abilities and I would be afraid to make assumptions about the boys personalities and just all that stupid stuff but even still, I hope you guys can always find something you like on this blog. I’m a very indecisive person who changes their mind a lot and is always wanting to learn and explore new things so this blog will probably have a wide array of things on it within the next year or so, and I hope you guys will stick with me through all and any content changes I may decide on. I have never been confident in myself as a creator but through this blog I am starting to find worth in the things I put my time and energy into, and I will always be eternally grateful for that and the only way I can think of expressing my gratitude for this is by saying thank you.

I haven’t been on tumblr long- if I remember correctly I made a blog in june maybe but didn’t start posting my own content until around august but I can’t remember- but in the short amount of time I have been, I have made incredible friends and laughed so so so much. I haven’t really talked about it openly on this site, but this year was probably one of the hardest, longest and most mentally draining I have ever had. Life was rough, I went through a lot of hardships and found out more about my mental health issues and how to start coping with them, I moved from my childhood neighborhood and started a whole new life at the peak of my highschool career and faced (and still facing) a lot of anxiety issues because of it but thanks to this blog and the amazing people I have met through it and the people I follow I have been able to end this year with a smile on my face, high hopes for the future, and dreams I feel I can actually accomplish. I said it before and I’ll say it again although I feel as if it doesn’t really express how thankful I am, thank you all for everything. My experience on this site has been nothing short of joyful and I hope it stays that way for a long time. I hope you guys, no matter if 2018 was a good or bad year for you, can also go into this new year with a little bit of hope and happiness for yourself and whatever you wish to achieve in the future. thank you for an amazing end to this year :)

#wow i got really sappy at the end but who cares #i really poured my whole heart into this because i really wanted to relay how much i love all of you #and i still feel like i didn't express it properly but i've never really been good at showing my appreciation through words only #if there is anything i would want you guys to take from this long ass post is that i am seriously thankful #for everything this blog has brought me #my friends and mutuals #my anons and all of my followers #the confidence to explore into subjects and make things i probably wouldn't have otherwise #just thank you #here's to an amazing 2019 #kayakookie #get to know me #personal #a thank you post #happy new year

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itsdanystormborn · 6 years

Text

Sinbad no Bouken 182 [Final Chapter]

This is only a fan translation, don’t forget to support the official releases of Snb and the MangaOne app if you can, and

►[Please don’t repost without giving credits. If you use this translation, don’t forget to share the link to this post!]◄

Thanks to @soreita for the raw! ^^

The final night “ The adventures of Sinbad”

Night 182 “The adventures of Sinbad”

Page 1

Narration:

King Sinbad founded the new kingdom of Sindria.

He became known as “The high king of the seven seas”, and several years went by quickly…

The “Reim empire” on the west that still holds great influence.

And the “Kou empire” on the east that unified the three warn-torn countries.

The 2 major powers of east and west repeated aggressively invasive wars in order to expand their territory,

And their invasion deepened more and more…

Page 2

Narration: In response to that, a remote country that had a tribute relationship with the three countries before the unification of the Kou empire, declared their adherence to the “seven seas alliance”

TN: Takeru!! Haha

Narration: The far east island-country “The kingdom of Kina” allied themselves with another nation once again.

Page 3

…. Thus, the situation around the world was about to change little by little.

The former boy that headed towards the dream he had embraced….

The final night “The adventures of Sinbad”

TN: We see a ship on the seas…

Page 4

The king of Sindria. Sinbad.

Page 5

Ja’far: It’s unusual for you, Sin.

To take the trouble to be on the deck…. Is something up?

From the eight generals of the kingdom of Sindria. Ja’far.

Sinbad: … Well,

Somehow, I feel a little nostalgic.

Page 6

Sinbad: It’s been a long time since I’ve been on Balbadd, so…

I unconsciously started to remember the old days.

…

Ja’far: I see.

Sinbad: The way you were when I met you, well, you had a foul tongue and your attitude was awful too, huh.

Well… From that, you have come this far and grown up well.

(Little Ja’far’s manuscript: Shut up!! Idiot. / Sin’s manuscript: I seriously mean it.)

Ja’far: Wait…!! Please stop talking about old times!!

Ah, But what about you! Contrary to me, Who’s the one that has become careless since he became an adult?!

( Ja’far’s manuscript: mainly concerning the alcohol….)

Sinbad: drinking alcohol is adult’s behavior, Ja’far-kun.

Ja’far: I’m telling you to consider that there are limits!

Ja’far’s manuscript: It’s always that what gets you into trouble!

Sinbad: WAHAHAHAA

Sinbad: but, when I think about it, it has been quite long time since those days.

Page 7

Sinbad: I fought against you guys on Valefor’s “dungeon”, and then we became comrades and battled together….

And after that, we started trading in Reim and we launched our trading company…

We traveled across various countries, we met a lot of people and learned a great deal of things.

We were nothing but small merchants, and thus, now we are…

The king of the “Kingdom of Sindria” and its minister.

Page 8

Sinbad: A lot of things have happened to reach this point but,

All of that are irreplaceable experiences that made us become what we are today.

We’ve lost many things too, though…

Ja’far: ….

….

Ja’far: But even so,

You moved forward.

You held on to a “dream” that no one could have materialized…

And became “King”.

Page 9

Once, our country was destroyed, and when everyone was brokenhearted,

You guided everyone, and it’s undeniable that everything that we’ve been able to built up until this point, it’s thanks to you.

Ja’far: I know it.

I know how many hardships you have overcome, all the troubles, the pain,

All you have gone through to build up everything we have this very day….

Page 10

Ja’far: your “dream” is still on its way…

Let’s make it truth.

To make a “world” aiming towards true peace.

Page 11

Sinbad: That’s right.

Rather, our “dream” starts from here on.

Ja’far: Yes.

Anyhow, we are now heading towards Balbadd…

Since the demise of the previous king, there has been an internal disturbance,

And there are rumors that the citizens have been suffering due to the tyrannical rule of the current king.

In addition, strange situations have been happening.

we suddenly received an announcement of them discontinuing trade with our country the other day…

I can feel the hints of someone working from behind.

Sinbad: If this is something caused by that organization, we can’t overlook it…

Ja’far: …

Yeah.

If their plan is to raise up the abnormalities of the world, we must stop them without fail…

Page 12

Masrur: ….

Sin-san,

We’ll be arriving soon.

Sinbad: All right.

In order to make the world without conflict that we wish for…

Sinbad: Let’s go!

To Balbadd….!!

Page 13

Ja’far:

____ what?

Although You said those things just a while ago….

You’ve immediately gone to who knows where, haven’t you?

Sin!!

Hey! Come here now!!

Masrur: …

(Masrur’s memories: Masrur, I’m gonna go drink for a little bit, please don’t say anything!)

Page 14

People: Cheers!

Man: Well, Sir

You sure can drink, huh?

(Background Manuscript: service people: service, here’s your drink. People: Thank you.)

Sinbad: It’s been a long time since I’ve been in Balbadd. It’s become quite fun.

Page 15

Sinbad: Balbadd’s wine is certainly exceptional, huh.

Sir, can you give me once more cup? I came to this place because I wanted to drink a bit of this.

(Sin SFX: “smile, smile”)

Shopkeeper: I’m sorry… but that was the last cup .

Lately, customs have risen up, and our stock of good alcohol has decreased…

Not only in our establishment, but apparently in all of Balbadd.

As a consequence, lately customer visits have been decreasing too.

…

Sinbad: …. Sir. In that case, can you bring in your most expensive liquor?

For every person in this place.

Shopkeeper: What!!?

Sinbad: Something like not being able to drink delicious liquor…. There’s nothing as sad as that.

So, even if it’s just for this moment, I want you to enjoy it.

(Manuscript: specially now that economy is awful…)

Page 16

Sinbad: It’s my treat today. Please enjoy!

TN: Sinbad pays the shopkeeper, who apparently thinks so grateful for receiving so much money.

Page 17

TN: Later, Sin is out of the bar with a bit of liquor, he sits alone near the outskirts of Balbadd.

Page 18

Sinbad: ….

Master, it’s been a long time.

I’m finally back.

although I’ve come this far, it took me quite a while…

Ah, this is bringing back memories. This is the wine I used to drink so much back in the old days!

(Manuscript: I took the left-over with me)

Since I’m already here, I thought about having a drink with… with you master, though it seems like it’s the last one.

We used to drink like this in the old days.

Page 19

I’m truly grateful for everything you did for me master... (TN: I’m in great debt to you/I owe you so much)

We didn’t know anything about trading or anything else,

And you taught us how to stablish a company and the ways of trading.

That time in Parthevia and that time I rebuilt my country too, you’ve guided me all along,

Thank you… so much.

….

Balbadd,

Might be different from when you were here.

But still, I’ll help this country….

….

The country of the teacher that helped me so much….

……..

Without fail,

Page 20

One way or another, I will definitely do it.

…

TN: Cheers!

Sinbad: hmm, it’s really tasty!

Yay, I’ll drink it all!

TN: Later…

Sinbad:

Uh, hmmm

Page 21

David:

…..N

……. Bad

Sinbad

…….

Sinbad:

…..

Who’s there?

The voice that I can hear from time to time since that moment….

…..

Who are you?

….

David: I am you. Sinbad.

The only “Singularity” who can see the great flow of “destiny”

You and I are, so to speak, an identical existence that has been isolated from the world. My only supporter.

Page 22

You might not understand yet but, you’ll come to know that truth eventually.

And then, you and I will unite into one.

In the not far away future.... It will “certainly” happen!

Page 23

TN: Sun is up and so is Sin.

Sinbad: haa, haa, haa TN:*heavy breathing*

What was that? Just now, was it a dream?

What a strange dream…

Why am I dreaming this sort of stuff…?

That’s ridiculous. I am who I am, I’m not anyone else.

To have such dreams can only mean that I had quite a lot to drink yesterday, huh…

Huh?

TN: lol, nakey nakey

Page 24

TN: Where are my dragons Metal vessels !!? haha and then Sin spots the 3 brothers.

SNL Brothers:

1) Big bro! with this, we’ll be able to have lunch!

2) If we sell this out, we’ll be able to make a name for ourselves!

3) Let’s go, little brothers!

Sinbad: huh?

Wait… wait!!

Those are my….!!

Sinbad: I’ve been robbed….

Page 25

TN: Sinbad is looking for a leaf lol

Sinbad: huh…

It’s been a long time since I had to do this.

I’d rather if it were just the clothes, but when it comes to having my metal vessels stolen….

(In Sinbad’s imagination= Ja’far: what are you doing!!??)

……

He’ll absolutely shout at me, right?

Anyway, now I have to manage this situation somehow but …..

TN: Sinbad can hear noise.

Sinbad: people are coming!

I’m saved! If they can lend me some clothes, I’ll be lucky.

As one would expect from me. I got immediately lucky.

Reminds me of the good old days…

In those times I also came to face numerous dangers many times this way.

But, I’ll definitely overcome this new crisis, without fail.

Page 26 y 27

I, Sinbad, will do it…

Sinbad to Morgiana and Aladdin: Yo! You guys!

Nice weather today, huh?

If you don’t mind, can I join you?

Page 28

My name is Sin

I’m a merchant heading to Balbadd!

MAGI, SINBAD NO BOUKEN END.

And this is the end of the series!! As always, Thank you so much to for reading! and thank you so much for following these translations until now ^^ we still have the extra content of volume 18 and 19 to look forward! ;D

#Snb 182 #Magi #Sinbad no Bouken #Magi the Labyrinth of Magic #Snb Spoilers #Sinbad #David Jehoahaz Abraham #Rashid Saluja #Ja'far #Masrur #Morgiana #Aladdin Jehoahaz Abraham #My Magi Translation

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lainaraquel · 7 years

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Rules:

Answer 30 questions and tag 10 blogs you are contractually obligated to know

I got tagged by @emeraldwaves

Nicknames: Laina, Lai Lai, Bird, Lil Laina, Lainey, etc.

Gender/pronouns: Cis girl, she/her

Star sign: Libra

Height: 5'6

Time: 6:30 PM

Birthday: October 13th

Favorite bands: Sleeping At Last, YouMeAtSix, The Academy Is, Neon Trees, All American Rejects, Fall Out Boy, Us The Duo, Alex & Sierra, etc.

Favorite solo artist: Kina Grannis, Taylor Swift, Mindy Gledhill, Halsey, Gabrielle Aplin, Alex etc.

Song stuck in your head: King of my heart - Taylor Swift and now its New Rules by Dua Lipa. Thanks Rachelle xD.

Last movie you watched?: Pitch Perfect 3

Last show?: Does watching a Let’s play of the Sims count? Or else my mom was watching Revenge Body this morning and I caught a bit of it.

Why did you create your blog?: This is my writing blog. It’s for my professional writing stuff and some personal things too.

What do you post?: My fics, My writing, personal things, self-help things about anxiety, etc.

Last thing you googled?: “percentage of accidental pregnancy.” LOL It was for a thing I was working on. I swear I’m not pregnant nor do I plan to become pregnant.

Other blogs: Creatiwrites that is where I post more fandom related things.

AO3: LainaRaquel

Do you get asks?: I do every now and again! I have one that I haven’t answered yet complimenting my fic. I’m terrible for not answering it yet! I’m so sorry. I will do it after this now, haha. Forgive me! But I love asks so please send them.

How did you get the idea for your URL?: Ah this makes me seems so uncreative when normally I am pretty creative with usernames, but since this is for professional purposes I just decided to go with my name.

I follow: A lot of BNHA blogs, anxiety blogs, writing blogs, artists, and of course, my friends!

Followers: 47

Average hours of sleep: I try to shoot for 6-7 but I’m NGL some nights its 5-6.

Lucky number: 13

Instruments: I sing. I cannot play any instruments though I wish I could.

What are you wearing?: Burgundy long sleeve top with lace sleeves on the shoulders to the elbows.My mermaid soul necklace, slippers, And black pants. Stylin yo.’

Dream job: I sort of have my dream jobs. Writing part-time for now, currently still attempting to learn VO. Once I make those full time I will be living the dream. I’ll make it happen, I swear.

Dream trip: Greece, Italy, and Japan are high on my list. As well as all of Europe tbh.

Favorite food: A good pasta dish with mushrooms or else my mom’s Mac and Cheese/Cuban Food.

Significant other?: Nope, I’m single. Unless you count my dog. She’s the LOML. My only true companion in life, TBH.

Last book I read: Respect for Acting by Uta Hagen

Top 3 fictional universes: Harry Potter, Souls Entwined (shameless self-promo, but I spend a lot of time there so it counts, right?), and The Sims (LOL) or anything to do with being a mermaid.

tagging: @tokoyumi , @spousematerial , @kitanoko, @littleroundpumpkin

(I need to get to know more people who have Tumblr LOL.)

#thanks rachelle for tagging me!#it was fun #questions #About Queen Sunshine (Me)

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rimalupin · 7 years

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30 Questions Tag

I was tagged by these lovelies: @lustfullyleocrawford, @widzzicles, & @emigotchi. Thanks for the tag, y’all! ^-^ <3

1) Nickname:

I go by Rima on Tumblr. I’ve also been called “Rima-chan” a few times~. c:

2) Gender:

Female

3) Star Sign:

Leo

4) Height:

4′9.5″ (I don’t round that measurement up to 4′10″ b/c I want to be completely honest about my shortness LOLOL. :P)

5) Time:

Afternoon

6) Birthday:

August 12

7) Favorite Bands:

One Direction LOLOL, Maroon 5, Fall Out Boy, Imagine Dragons, Destiny’s Child (if girl/boy bands count lolol), uhmmmm oh shoot I’m blanking... Sorry! :b

8) Favorite Solo Artists:

Tori Kelly, Ed Sheeran, Shawn Mendes, Sara Bareilles, Kelly Clarkson, Alicia Keys, John Legend, Bruno Mars, Alessia Cara, Beyonce, Rihanna, Drake, Lorde, Adele, G-Eazy, Logic, Sia, Bebe Rexha, Niall Horan, Sam Tsui, Kina Grannis, Kesha, Lady Gaga, Nicki Minaj, Selena Gomez, Cardi B (I’m honestly probably missing a few b/c I listen to a bunch of different music haha~. :P)

10) Last Movie I Watched:

Step, which is a documentary about a group of teenage girls navigating their way through school and life in Baltimore while training for step dance competitions. It’s an incredibly inspiring and eye-opening film that doesn’t shy away from relevant issues such as economic struggles and racial tensions, so I highly recommend watching this film if you haven’t yet. Plus, you get to see these powerful young ladies dance some incredible step routines! Here’s the trailer if you’re interested: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVN4aVYA2eA

11) Last Show I Watched:

Does the YouTube series Game Theory count as a show? :P

12) When Did I Create my blog:

Summer of 2012(?)

13) What Do I Post:

I used to post a lot of random things, but now I’ve (sort of) organized my content to be focused on my fandoms along with quality memes. xD

14) Last Thing I Googled:

*types “last thing I Googled” in the Google search bar*

JK. Apparently the last thing I Googled was “shrug emoji.” ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

15) Do you have other blogs:

Nope, just this one~.

16) Do you get asks:

Occasionally, yes (a.k.a. once in a blue moon lololol :P). But I always get a kick out of reading asks when I do get them~. ^-^ <3

17) Why did you choose this blog name:

A couple of my friends convinced me to make a Tumblr for role-playing purposes, specifically for the Harry Potter fandom. The role-playing thing was originally planned for just our small group of friends first since we didn’t really know how to role play. Once we figured out the “how” part, we intended to expand our role-playing to the general HP community.

My friends and I created aliases for our role-play characters. I decided to name mine Rima Lupin because 1) Remus Lupin is one of my favorite characters from the HP universe and 2) I had just started watching the anime Shugo Chara and I thought it would be “clever” to use one of the characters’ names - a.k.a. Rima Mashiro - for my RP character. And thus, Rima J. Lupin was born!

18) Blogs you are following:

172

19) Followers:

222 (Those triple digits tho. Like, who are you people?! JK I love y’all~. <3)

20) Favorite Colors:

Purple, Blue, Red & some shades of Orange

21) Average hours of sleep:

6-7 on a busy day, 8-10 on breaks/weekends

22) Lucky Number:

3 b/c the number represents the sisterhood between myself and my two younger sisters~. ^-^ <3

23) Instruments:

Piano (although I haven’t practiced in a LONG time), guitar, ukulele, voice, body (Thanks to Step, I learned how to do some basic step routines. You really do make music with your body when you stomp and clap the way that the step dancers do!)

24) What I’m Wearing:

PJs, specifically an old Hollywood tee and basketball shorts (I’m still on summer break, okay? :P).

25) How Many Blankets I Sleep With:

One big ‘ol quilt all year long, no matter how hot the weather gets. It’s comfortable and snuggable~. :D

26) Dream Job:

I actually have multiple dream jobs... :P

The one I’m currently pursuing is the job of a healthcare professional, a.k.a. a doctor. I’m thinking of going into pediatrics since I like working with kids~.

The other job I’d love to pursue if I find the time to do so is anything in the theatre: performing, producing, directing, writing, you name it!

27) Dream Trip:

A trip around the world where I get to meet people, both familiar and new (especially my Tumblr friendos! :D).

28) Favorite Food:

I like trying lots of food, so I guess almost everything..? xD

29) Nationality:

I AM GROOT. (JKJK. :P)

30) Favorite Song Now:

“Waving Through A Window” from Dear Evan Hansen

I’m a little late to doing this tag game and I’m pretty sure that most of y’all have already done this, so anyone who hasn’t yet done this tag is welcome to join the fun! :D <3

#wheeee #this was fun #thanks for the tag!#^-^#tag game #30 questions tag

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jimlingss · 4 years

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Thanks for sharing your ao3, Kina! I love your writing so much and I feel sad that you're eventually leaving this app. But I'm also amazed since it's such a well-planned exit? Hahaha, like there's a timeline and all. So thank you for being so generous with your imagination that got transformed into these wonderful fics. I feel like your fics come up in every fic recs list everytime someone asks for reco and I'm sorry if I'm always adding them in lists. I'm just amazed at how varied your fics are from slice of life to any AU plus they're plot-driven too. I wonder if there are AUs you felt you haven't tried yet or AUs/themes you're not interested at all? Thank you and have a great day ❤️

np!! I'm happy to share and thank you. honestly the whole thing is a double edged sword. on one hand it might be better to fade into obscurity or just go on a permanent hiatus like a lot of writers do. that keeps my blog still technically open and I won’t be bombarded with ‘whyyy’ messages haha but at the same time, I don’t want to leave readers waiting around for the day I’ll post again even if I have no plans to. I’ve thought about the way I wanted to go about things and in the end, I decided let’s just be as honest as possible. I digress, you’re very sweet and I’m honestly HONOURED to be on rec lists so by no means am I bothered or annoyed. It’s nice to see my older fics come alive again and have readers read them. If anything, it’s what’s keeping this blog alive lol.

To answer your question, I have yet to ever try a Ninja!AU and I’ve never really seen it on tumblr either!! I never got an idea for it nor do I think I’ll have the opportunity to write one, but that’s an AU that definitely sticks out in my mind as one I haven’t tried or even seen. As for AUs I’m not interested in...hmm...I’m not a fan of love triangle tropes although I think I’ve had dashes of it in my story before. I’m not that interested in Coffee Shop!AUs either lol.

#Jimlings #ggukkieland

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borderlinegenius-blog1 · 7 years

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The Truth Behind My Tears

I’m writing this post so people could know and UNDERSTAND what’s been going on in my life recently. I’ve been judged to hell these past few months and I just thought it would be good to tell the real story so people can judge PROPERLY. What happened to the girl who used to be so good? How come she has broken down and turned to this wild, uncomfortable person? After nito, I would accept anything you’d say. See me wrong, see me right, at least you’d know the truth. Medyo mahaba ito so yung mga tao lang na interisado and babasa nito. I’m a smart girl – or so people would label me. I was innocent. Till I met HIM - the one person who turned my whole life upside down and not in the right kind of way. I was a transferee student from MSU to NDMU. My classmates – including him – knew I was the Valedictorian of NDSCT coz most of them are from Tacurong. That’s when he came into my life. Palagi syang lumalapit sakin. And when I say palagi, sobrang PALAGI. I was a socially awkward person, so I just answer and entertain anyone who talked to me and approached me. He kept on coming to me, telling me about his crushes, his girlfriend, and every topic you can think of – mga bagay na wala naman akong pakialam. At first I didn’t understand why this guy kept on coming and talking to me, but I thought maybe he’s just like that. Kasi nakita ko naman sa ugali nya na he’s so social and talkative. Palaging nagrerecite sa class kahit mali-mali naman ang sinasabi. JOKE. Naging medyo close kami dahil dun. One time before our English class, lumapit sya sakin para lang ibulong, “Ipakita natin sa mga Engineering students na mas magaling tayo.” (A memory that he’d rather not remember kasi napoprove lang kung gaano sya ka-FC sakin haha) We got closer in our PE subject. Why? Coz fate had it that every grouping for every activity had as grouped together. Like as in. Maka-amaze kasi sa tatllong activity namin, dalawang folkdance saka isang ballroom, magkasama kami sa iisang grupo, and guess what? Kami palagi ang panalo. He always wants to win – he’s that kind of guy - and one time in our folkdance class contest, nagkagrupo kami, and he saw na walang magaling sa amin. Dun ko first nakita kung gano sya kasama. Kasi sabi nya, “Mga walang kwenta man itong mga kagrupo ko man,” sabi nya sa isang classmate namin. He was so frustrated, and I was so pissed at him. Hindi nya alam na I was capable. I was capable of leading our group and make us win. Duh. Sanay na ako sa ganyan uy. Nanalo kami, (syempre) kahit simple lang yung dance na tinuro ko, and he high-fived me. I wanted to say, “What did you say about us being no good again?” pero inunahan nya akong sabihan na “You never cease to amaze me.” That made me happy and proud. In one of our activities, the ballroom dancing something, we got partnered together. He was the one who came to me, mind you. That’s just probably because si lalai na the best, partner na si Tantan na the best din. So he settled for me. Not the best, but not bad either. He’s like that. He chooses what he sees is good. He doesn’t settle for “okay”. So we got partnered. And you know how ballroom dancing goes. (Ang lalandi ng moves.) That got us even closer to each other. May mga steps kasi na napaka-intimate, and one moment he would ask me, “oh bat ka nakasmile?” Di nya alam I was smiling coz I’ve never done those kinds of things in my whole life. Yes. Malandi talaga sya. May girlfriend sya ha. Wag ka. May mga time pa sa practice na kahit patapos nanaman yung isang step, magkahawak parin yung kamay namin. I would look at it, and pull away. Kasi uncomfortable masyado. Minsan naka-hug pa yung steps, and sometimes I find myself face to face with him. And I could feel that something was growing inside me. Nadadala na ako. We won that contest too.All of a sudden, I found him always walking beside me whenever naglalakad ang barakada. Admittedly, I was starting to feel something more than friendship towards him those days. But I wasn’t sure so I just let things happen as they were. Hinayaan ko na lang na mangyari ang mga nangyayari. One time sa Analytical Chemistry namin na class, nagsabi sya na wala na daw sila nung girlfriend nya. Sabi pa nya sakin, “Gusto kong makalimot.” And I didn’t know what to say kasi wala talaga akong kaalam alam sa mga bagay na ganun, and I said the most stupid thing I ever said in my whole life, “Ligawan mo si Pal,” kasi kasama namin that time si Pal. (And bobo ko….) to those who do not know, lalaki si pal. Lalaking-lalaki. Then there came Den’s birthday. We had a VERY LONG RIDE, pabalik ng Marbel galling Kapingkong, riding in Den’s pickup truck kasi inihatid kami pauwi, and we were both at the back of the truck together with other friends. It was cold outside, but I couldn’t get inside coz I was carsick. I didn’t wanna vomit in front of all of them. So I stayed outside and curled up in the cold. Since he and I were supposedly “close” and was sitting next to each other at that time, he went closer and hugged me. ALL THROUGHOUT THAT VERY LONG RIDE. And he even told me, “Don’t worry. Di kita pabayaan.” Di kami nakababa sa Marbel kasi close na ang dorm, so bumalik kami kina Den at dun na nagstay. There, he sat with me on the couch. I was feeling awkward, and probably, so was he. We weren’t saying anything. Kasi grabe. Grabe yung hug. (Nung naging kami na we used to talk about it sometimes kung nasa good mood kami at nagbibiruan.) He asked me if I was okay and I said I was. By the morning, I was shocked when he handed me a coffee he made for me. Nahiya ako, pero tinanggap ko naman. And honestly, nakakakilig. (Haha Pa-Fall. bwiset. -_-) When we went home, I received a message from him saying, “Ingat kayo. Lalo na ikaw.” (Oh diba?! And galling niya! Ako naman, feel na feel. Bwiset.) Ever since then, he kept on texting me. Even during classes, he would text me, “Hi” telling me I look cool in my clothes and blah blah blah, and I would just reply, “Makinig ka. Haha”. Naging ganoon for about a month kasi summer time noon. There he was, a guy who was showing motives towards you. And you, an innocent girl who didn’t know what to do about it but to respond. We clicked, because I guess it’s true that opposites really do attract. I thought it was real, until one day, in our exam in Rizal during our summerclass, I was holding his phone, playing, and there was someone who messaged him. I accidentally saw the content coz it wasn’t protected and it read, “Good Morning Baby. Goodluck sa exam niyo…” and I can’t remember the rest. Shet. He didn’t tell me that HE GOT BACK WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND. And those times that he was showing all these caring, landi, putang inang, puta sa akin. Okay. Sorry. He immediately took the phone away from me, so obvious that he didn’t want me to find out. But I did. And he looked at me awkwardly. I acted like I was okay, like it was nothing. That it didn’t mean anything. So did he. Pero awkward parin. Kasi alam namin sa isa’t isa kung ano ang pinanggagagawa namin the past few weeks. But I was furious inside, hurt even, coz that was the FIRST TIME in my life that someone had me fooled. I didn’t know in my life that there was more to come. But the landian didn’t stop there. Even when we both knew that he had a girlfriend, we couldn’t stop each other from always being together. Texting and calling each other, holding hands in the street, and when summer ended and we went back to school again, he held my hand in Anatomy and Physiology Lab class and mouthed, “I missed you” to me. Having feelings for him already, I felt happy. But I didn’t want to respond, coz I knew he had a girlfriend. I just smiled. And sometimes he would joke me and complain that I wasn’t responding to him. And then I’d be forced to respond and we’d both laugh at it. Until it became a habit that saying I miss you and I love you to each other became natural EVEN WHEN HE HAD A GIRLFRIEND. That kissing and making out was too natural to be true for someone like me. He didn’t know that I was both happy and sad and hurting over what we were doing. That I was crying silently beside Mai every single night. I was happy coz I liked the affection and how it was just so natural to be with him. I was sad and hurt because of the fact that HE HAD A GIRLFRIEND, and he was doing all these shits with me. There would be times when I’d try to go near him and I’d see his girlfriend’s picture on his lockscreen and instead of going near, I’d back away, thinking “Shit. What the hell am I doing?” Sometimes, I’d be mad at him for no particular reason, and he’d wonder why but would say sorry even if he didn’t knew what he did wrong (isang bagay na gi-love ko sa kanya), not knowing that I was just mad at both of us for what we were doing. Until one day, he told me he broke up with his girlfriend. He was sad about it. And I was hurt. I didn’t like the fact that he was hurting over another girl. That same day when he told me, we went to see the movies. We sat so close to each other, kissed, and I knew right then that there was no turning back for me. I fell in love with a guy who wasn’t done loving another girl. And it was the biggest mistake I ever did in my life. But it wasn’t my decision to make. It wasn’t a choice. It wasn’t my choice. Then the love story started. Coz he was finally free. Free to kiss me all he wants, free to make out with me without thinking about betraying another girl, free to tell me every time that he loves me. We were both free. But there was no label. We weren’t officially together, but we did what every other couple did. Except even more intimate. Then there was another mistake I did in my life. I transferred to another boarding house – an apartment. So he was free to come anytime he wants and be with me in the same room coz there were no restrictions for visitors. Because he VISITED ME TOO MUCH and slept there A LOT, Jeanne left me in the room alone. That was another mistake thrown at me by fate. Because that allowed me and him to LIVE IN TOGETHER. The same boarding house, the same room. You know what happens when things go like that. But living together, you find out things about a person that you never expect. One night we were sleeping next to each other, and I took his phone coz he was already sleeping. I didn’t mean to find anything, I was just browsing coz I couldn’t sleep. Then I looked at the messages. And I saw a thing that made me cry my heart and eyes out. A girl named Pia. He was texting her. And I read some things I’d rather not talk about. He woke up. When he saw what I was reading, he snatched his phone away from me, and got MAD at me. I didn’t even have time to ask him what that Pia was all about, coz he was so mad. (Siya pa talaga and nagalit…) So I just went out and cried at the kitchen area. While he… He just continued sleeping and didn’t even bother explaining to me or saying sorry. But the next day, well, it was like nothing happened. And that was the start of me being paranoid about him cheating on me. I let it pass, cause he did all the sweetest of things to make me forget about it. I wasn’t stupid. I knew his motives, I knew what he was trying to do. I just acted like it was already okay. But it wasn’t. I REMEMBERED IT. AND IT HURT. But I forgave him. Because I loved him and I thought I’d rather not lose him over a single girl. Then, there was another thing he did. He made his ex’s birth date his lockscreen code. I knew. He probably thought I didn’t know. But I did. And so I told him not to go anywhere near me and informed him that I’m well aware of the fact that it was her birth date. He even made the most stupid and most obviously false explanation that it was her sister who set his code. (LIKE LAHAT NG TAO NA SINABIHAN KO TUMAWA.) Bullshit. Haha. I just laughed at it. I was determined not to forgive him. So determined that I made a bet with my friends that for a month, I won’t talk to him. I would treat Gab, Jeanne, Meyer, Dads, at Greenwich and pay Den’s allowance for the week if I talk to him. They were so confident cause they all knew that I could never stay mad at him. I could never stand being away from him. I could never NOT forgive him. I was so strong that time. He was begging me to forgive him. He kept on texting me but I kept on dismissing him. He kept on coming to the apartment but I always told him to go back to his dorm. He even pinned me on the bed once, probably thinking I’d give in. But I didn’t. I shooed him away. My friends also helped me too. They told me I should make him jealous by going near some guy. And then when he would come near me, Meyer would block his way and Gab who knew what we were doing would just laugh at us. I could see how desperate and sad he was. Coz he didn’t have any friends to go with. They all sided with me. Ryan even got mad at our group saying “Porket nag-away sila ni Norsi hindi nyo na rin sya papansinin” or something like that, coz he pitied him. But truth be told, the only reason I wasn’t forgiving him was because of that bet I made. Haha. Because they were right. I could never stand having him gone. So when he texted me that he was coming over and bring me food, I said “Ikaw bahala.” (landi) He came into my room, I ate what he brought, and we both settled on the bed. At first he wasn’t saying anything. I thought he wouldn’t be planning to do anything any soon coz he was ashamed, so I went over him and hugged him. He hugged me back. So tight I can still remember. And he told me “Ngayon ko lang narealize na tama talaga yung sinasabi nila. You only know the importance of a person kung wala na sya sayo.” I didn’t say anything and just smiled in the dark. But ever since he did that mistake, I lost my trust in him. I wasn’t just paranoid. I totally lost my trust in him. And we all know that once we lose trust, it’s just so hard to bring it back. So hard. In my case, it was impossible. He promised me he’d make it up to me. He even brought me my specimen collection kit and all the things I needed. Mai laughed at me coz she knew he was just trying to make it up to me. I’d just smile. But again, I lost my trust in him. He couldn’t bring it back no matter what he did for me. And EVERY SINGLE NIGHT I would cry, remembering everything. From the start up to that moment. Then there came the issue about Jed - my supposedly fixed marriage guy. I was texting Jed, and he read the conversation. He suddenly sulked in the bed. I asked him what was wrong – although I already knew – and he said “Wala lang. May katext ang baby ko.” I said, “Wala yun…” and he told me “Namimiss ko yung ganyan ka pa magtext sa akin.” Coz he was right. All our conversations those few weeks were just full of arguments – me getting mad and him apologizing every time. But I just couldn’t forget. Every time I’d remember what he did, I would get mad at him and remind him of what he did. And it was so hard on his part to make me forget. To make me stop remembering. And then after Jed, that’s when all the other girls rained on me. There was the girl he had a crush on. Someone named Alyssa. He was still sleeping beside me when I looked up his twitter account. He was posting about how much he like the girl. And again, I cried and cried and cried. I screen capped all his tweets and made it his lockscreen wallpaper. He woke up, snatched his phone away from me, but I wasn’t crying anymore. I was just staring into space. He looked at his phone and saw the screen, then sighed. He knew he got no excuses for this one. He couldn’t open his phone coz I changed the code so he couldn’t change the wallpaper. He begged me to stop it and open his phone. He even forced me to. He even got mad at me. He pinned me down on the bed while I was crying and begged me to open his phone. When I got tired of him forcing me to open it – coz it hurt so much to see that he was forcing me to neglect his mistake for his sake and I felt like he didn’t care about me crying and what I thought and felt at that time while I was crying – I opened it, crying. And he said goodbye to me. Our first breakup. It was during the intrams. I guess his Alyssa mission failed coz I saw in his tweets things like, “Maganda nga pero suplada” or something like that, and things like “I just remember how much he loves Sasuke” (kasi sobrang adik ako kay Sasuke Uchiha ng Naruto) or something like that. By then, I knew he was down. Again, he didn’t have any friends. I wasn’t talking to him. I was just walking past by him, not even looking at him. During those times I was still texting Jed. And my friends knew that. One time the council were distributing jerseys and t-shirts and I guess he was trying to reach out to me again, coz he asked me, “Nakuha mo na sayo?” and I just replied with a nod. I could just wonder until now what he thought about my friends teasing me with Jed. He probably didn’t care. Haha. I don’t know. Somehow, we got back together, coz he invited me to buy pandesal at Balolong’s, holding my hand once again. I looked at how he held me and felt the pain again. Coz I knew I was about to forgive him again. And he would do it again. And probably again. But I thought positive. I thought, “I should just be glad that I have him again.” Although, that was really stupid of me. So we got back together. He was sleeping over again. But there was still the Jed issue. And other girls issue. One time he was using my phone to make his lab manual, then suddenly, Jed called. He handed the phone to me with meaning, and walked out the door. I didn’t know what to say and do, but I answered anyway. I wonder what he thought about it. But it wasn’t unfair. Coz he was texting this ND Saira girl too. RIGHT. IN. FRONT. OF. ME. But I knew I didn’t have the right to get mad cause I knew I was texting Jed as well. But we were sleeping in the same bed every night. And every night, I think about how he was texting that girl. And I cry again. Silently. So quietly. So he wouldn’t hear me. So he wouldn’t know that I was losing the fight. For he didn’t care about me texting Jed. Me? I cared so much that he was fucking texting a girl in my presence. In my knowing. It was September 2015 when I started crying and crying and crying the way I do these days. See? it’s been a very long time since I’ve been suffering this way. The only difference then was that I didn’t want the world to know. I didn’t want him to know. While he was sleeping so quietly in the night, I was praying while breaking down, begging for the hurting to stop. Why was I hurting? Because I remember everything. And I was crying because I was smart enough to know that I should just break up with that person, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle it. I would lose in either decision I make. And it was the worst thing that could happen to a person. To be ripped off the freedom to choose. Because either way you choose, you lose. I break down every night without a sound, while he was so soundly sleeping. Sometimes, I just wanted him to hug me in the night, but those times, he never did. He even turns his back on me at times. And then I would cry again. But I couldn’t complain. Coz I knew he would just get mad at me. One morning I asked him, “Why are you doing all this? Why are you neglecting me? Tell me now while I’m still sober.” And then he just replied, “Wala lang. Naisip ko lang na wala man din tayong pupuntahan.” And though it hurt so much, I knew and understand that he was right. So I accepted it, but right then, I knew that Jed was the problem. Then it was Christmas break of 2015, I sent a group message, saying something like, “If you’re doing this because you think I’d be taken by someone someday, well believe me when I say that you’re wrong.” And then something changed. He was texting me more often again, calling me “Baby” once again. And I could never explain how happy I was then. It was like the first time we texted each other. How sweet the messages were, how he greeted me every morning again, how he was so sweet when we sleep together again, how I got it all back. It went on like that for a while, then came fourth year and I lost his attention because he found a new group of friends. By then, I was the one with no friends. I was left out coz my group of friends either transferred to different schools, or were irregulars. I was counting on him that he wouldn’t leave me behind. That he would stay beside me all the time like he used to do when we were just starting to get closer to each other. That he would give the same affection he used to give me. That he wouldn’t leave me behind. Every night in our room, we would argue about that. And I would cry and cry and cry again. Because I was trying to ask why he’s leaving me behind. And who wouldn’t get hurt if the answer a person gives you is “Kasi may nakikita naman tayong bagong tao eh.” He even said it like he was so sick of me. That’s it. I was LITERALLY crying every single night because I kept on thinking he’s sick of me, he’s done with me coz he already got everything he wanted from me, he’s finally found friends so he’s leaving me behind now, and that he was just using me. It was just like that over and over and over again, every single night and day from July to September 2016. Imagine crying every single time throughout those months. I also understand him if he got stressed out – so much. I pitied him. I wished we would just be okay. I wished I would just forget about every bad thing he did. I wished I would just forget that he betrayed me a lot of times. I wished I would just lose my memory. I wished I’d forget. Then there came October. Internship. The worst thing that’s ever happened to my entire life. We were assigned to different hospitals. And I begged Maam Hazel secretly to place us in the same designation. I cried to her. But she didn’t let me. She told me to grow up. And growing up, she meant away from him. I cried so much. Ate Leah even comforted me, telling me to trust him. But there was no trust remember? I knew how he was. I knew him. I knew it was what he wanted. I knew it. I went with them to Gensan during their orientation coz we both wanted to spend time together till we both would be separated. We didn’t expect that we’d be going home by nighttime already. I was crying at the bus. Why? Coz I knew he didn’t care about us being separated. I was the only one who cared. At first he was comforting me. But I shoved his hands away coz I didn’t want to talk to him. I kept on crying, even harder, so he got mad at me, saying, “Bat kasi di mo matanggap tanggap na magkakahiwalay tayo?!” And so I punched him in the face. I broke his glasses and he bled – I didn’t mean to. When I broke his glasses, he told me, “Wag na wag kang magpakita sakin” and he transferred seats. That got me crying even harder. Apol and the others were then asking me what was going on. All of them were now circling me. When they all came to me to ask me, he came near as well, pretending to help me by picking up my bag. He was playing safe again. But what he said kept on ringing in my ears. “BAT DI MO KASI MATANGGAP TANGGAP NA MAGKAKAHIWALAY TAYO?!” So I kicked his head when he was leaning down. And all of them saw. And all of them saw me wrong and bad. They didn’t know that he yelled at me. They didn’t know what he said. They didn’t know. When the bus stopped, he just walked so fast away towards the terminal for Tacurong, never giving me the chance to talk to him. So I didn’t know what to do anymore. I walked and walked and walked, wanting to just die right then and there coz he just left me. He just left me there crying like shit. I understood that he needed to go home, but he could’ve just talked to me. He should’ve just talked to me. He should’ve just made it okay with me. But he left. And I couldn’t take it. By tomorrow, I begged him to make it okay with me. He was so determined to leave me. Probably because he knew that it was his chance to get away from me. Coz we’d finally get separated. I faced all my shame and begged him to stay with me. To still be my boyfriend. And after a while of torturing me, he finally said yes. Long story short I was already at Davao and he, at Gensan. I couldn’t eat. Coz I could imagine eating with him, but he wasn’t there. We always ate together. I couldn’t sleep in the night coz nobody was hugging me. I couldn’t stop crying because I knew we weren’t okay with each other. I kept on crying because whenever I call, he would get mad at me and tell me bye. He even texted me “MAKAUBOS KA NA NG PASENSYA. NAGADEMONYO AKO SA GALIT PAG IKAW KAUSAP KO”. And then I would cry again. (Sobra sobrang sakit) I tried to convince myself that when I’d finally get to the hospital, I’d be distracted and wouldn’t miss him too much. But I was wrong. Even at the hospital, I thought about what he said. And when I crossed the street, a car almost hit me. That’s when I thought that things couldn’t go on like that anymore. I begged Maam Hazel to transfer me to Gensan, not thinking about the shame anymore. She even told me, “Norsi! Bat sobrang nainlove ka na sa kanya and blah blah blah” I wasn’t totally in love. I wasn’t addicted. I wasn’t obsessed. I was just conditioned to his presence. He was my comfort zone. I was used to having him around in EVERYTHING I DO. I just NEEDED to be with him. So I got transferred to Gensan. He just came from his 16 hours duty so he was lying down the floor. I lied down beside him, hugging him, crying. I thought he would hug me back….but he didn’t. Instead, he got mad at me. “Ito yung sinasabi ko ba! Wag kang mag ganyan ganyan ha! Puta ka!” And I cried more, still hugging him. I cried, “Just treat me right, please. T_T That’s all I’m asking for. Just treat me right.” And he said, “Anong gusto mo?! Baby babyhin nanaman kita?! Gawin ko nanaman lahat ng gusto mo?!” I couldn’t take it anymore, so I went out. I didn’t sleep in the rooms. I slept at the couch. He didn’t even ask if I was doing fine. He just let me cry there while he went to sleep. By probably three in the morning, it was still dark, I was woken up by his presence. He lied behind me on the couch and hugged me. And I could never explain how happy I was for that. Then he told me to come with him and lay with him inside the room on the floor. It was okay for me to lie on the floor. It was okay that it was crampy and cold. As long as I was beside him and we were okay. By the morning I thought we were okay already. We even went to this internet café together. But later on, he was eating and he didn’t even invite me. Well he did, but I said I didn’t want to eat. And he just left it at that. And I wasn’t used to that. Him ignoring me. He even turned his back on me. So I cried again. And he asked me why I was crying. He was mad again because I was crying. We argued. Until he said… “Bat kasi di mo matanggap na ayaw ko na?” And I couldn’t take it, so I started packing my things, determined to leave him. I was crying, looking all messed up – he even said it – and called my mom to look for some place where I could stay in. He tried to stop me, telling me stop it. But I was determined to leave. And so I did. And he didn’t stop me anymore. For a week I stayed at my Ate Oske’s place, trying to be okay. I WAS okay. They made me laugh. They took me to places. They distracted me successfully from thinking about my heartbreak. But sometimes, I just couldn’t help but cry at night when I’m not doing anything. During the day, we would see each other on duty but we don’t talk. We would just walk past each other, not even looking. I was strong that time. Until I told Apol that I was planning to go back to the yellow house, and she said, “Ask mo si Ate Leah”. But then Ate Leah said something in the lines of “Masikip na” and the most hurtful part, “Saka yung pagtulog tulog mo dun Nors, ayaw din ng lahat ba. Pati ako. Kasi yung issue nyo.” Or something like that. So I confronted him about it. “Bat di mo sinabi na yan na pala ang iniisip ng mga kasama natin sa akin ha?! Traydor ka! I HATE YOU!” And he replied that he didn’t want to cause conflict and all that shit. By the morning, I was shocked to read a message from him. It was from last night but I was already sleeping. “Good Evening Bebe. I texted you this message knowing na tulog ka na and I just didn’t want this conversation to end in a fight again. I just want you to know na love na love ko parin ang bebe ko na pinakamalambing, pinakamabait, at pinakacaring na tao na nakilala ko. I just want you to know that I never ever forget all the good things that has happened to us. I wish you peace and happiness bebe. (Actually meron pa pero di ko na maalala haha.)” And it got me confused again. I told him we should talk. And so we did. I went to the yellow house coz he was alone there. We talked. And I asked what his plan was. I asked, “Anong gusto mong mangyari?” And he said, “Actually naisip ko man na makipagbalikan pero…” He pulled me closer, closer, and closer till I was sitting on top of him, facing him. He said, “Pinapakita ko lang na okay ako pero wala…” I told him, “Mag-decide ka na. Coz once I walk out that door, I’m never coming back to you.” He was silent for a while. I thought he didn’t want to get back with me so I started getting off of him, but he didn’t let me and pulled me back. “Do you want to get back with me?” I asked. And he said yes. Because I was living in some other place, we just had to meet each other every once in a while. One time when we went out on a date, he couldn’t go home coz the yellow house was far and tricycle drivers wouldn’t drive him. I walked up to him and said, “Samahan na lang kita para makasakay ka. Magpasundo na lang ako mamaya.” He hesitated for a moment, but he agreed anyway. I stayed at the yellow house for a while and we started watching a movie, then I saw Ate Leah’s text message to him. “Katigas gid ng ulo nyo ba. Pwede maghanap kayo ng lugar nyo?” And I immediately walked out. I cried again. Wala naman akong ginagawang masama dun ah. Di naman kami nakikipaglandian dun sa sala. May tao pa nga eh! And I was so mad at Ate Leah that I texted her, “Ikaw ate leah sabihin mo lang sakin kung ayaw mo sakin something3x”. I was crying and crying and crying. I walked, and walked, crying, but he didn’t follow me. He let me walk, crying and vulnerable in that long road, completely alone. That made me cry even harder. Then we had a meeting. And they all went against me. Ate leah and I yelled at each other. But one thing I could not forget and hurt me the most, was that even HE, went against me. Me: “OKAY LANG MAN KAMI!” Ate Leah: “TALAGA SHAN?! OKAY LANG KAYO?!” Him: “HINDI” LIKE FUCK! I was so shocked I didn’t know what to say and do. I wanted to slap him. I wanted to hit him in the face. I wanted to bury him alive. Then what was that message for? What was that talk we had? What were those dates we had? Like fuck! He was just trying to save himself… He was playing safe. Gusto nyang ipakita na nasa side sya nila. He’s like that. Ang ganda pa ng upo nya nung kinakalaban nya ako. Grabe ang bangayan namin ni Ate Leah. It hurt a lot kasi close kami ni Ate Leah dati, and minsan kinakausap nya ako about sa lalaki na yun, trying to teach me. Bumalik akong tumira sa yellow house, paying 20,000 for a single room. Grabe yung sacrifice na yun para sa parents ko. Bumalik ako kasi sabi nila, pupunta na dun si Maam Ivy and magiging often na ang quizzes namin. So magiging mahirap para sakin ang magpabalik-balik doon. So I went back there. Going back there was a mistake. Kasi dun na lumala ang lahat. Grabe parin ang bangayan namin. I would admit, kasalanan ko na yun. Kasi di ko sya maintindihan. Sinasabi nyang mahal nya ako pero di ko sya kayang paniwalaan. Kaya palagi na lang akong umiiyak. Bat nga ba palagi na lang akong umiiyak? Bakit ako umiiyak? Umiiyak ako kasi di ko kayang paniwalaan na mahal nya pa ako. Umiiyak ako kasi naaalala ko parin ang lahat ng panloloko nya sa akin. Umiiyak ako kasi hindi siya nagbabago. May isa pang babae syang gustong itext na gusto nyang hingiin ang number kay apol. Nabasa ko yun. And yun nanaman. Iyak nanaman. Naga wild ako dahil may sakit ako. Di dapat ako mastress. Di dapat ako pinahihirapan. Di dapat ako natritrigger. Kasi hypomanic ako. Bipolar II. OA kumbaga. Umiiyak ako kasi kahit nakikita na nya na umiiyak ako, kung anu-ano pa ang sinasabi nya. Nandun na ang lahat ng punyeta, and pagkamalas nya dahil sakin, lahat lahat. Nandun pa yung gusto nya akong saktan pero di rin naman nya tinutuloy. Bat ko sya sinasaktan? Why do I hurt the person I love so much, physically? Kasi di ko ma-take ang lahat ng sinasabi nya. Ikaw ba naman ang sabihan na nagademonyo ako sa galit pag ikaw ang kausap ko. Ikaw ba naman ang sabihan na iiwan ka – AFTER EVERYTHING?! Ikaw ba naman ang sabihan na ang malas ng buhay niya nang dahil sakin. Ikaw ba naman ang i-curse? Sabihan ng punyeta. Na di ko na sya makikita after nito and blah blah blah. Ikaw ba naman ang pilit suntukin sa mukha? Ikaw ba naman ang sabihan na magkalimutan na kayo. Pero one night, umiyak sya sakin. Humihingi ng patawad sa lahat ng ginawa nya. Hindi yun ang first na umiyak sya sakin. Ilang beses na. At alam ko kasalanan ko yun. Naaalala kong umiyak sya nung dati na nag-away kami sa apartment. Iyak ako ng iyak, tapos pinalabas ko sya. Ni lock ko yung door and hindi siya makapasok. I was crying and crying inside as he kept on knocking. Then suddenly, I stopped. Just like that. Not a sound heard from inside. He panicked. He started banging on the door. He sounded worried. And then suddenly, I was shocked to hear the door break at its knob. He kicked the door. He went over to me and checked me. Then he started crying, saying he thought I wasn’t breathing anymore. The next he cried was when the same thing happened. Nag-away kami kasi umuwi sya sa dorm nya and gusto ko dun sya matulog sa akin. Pero umuwi talaga sya sa dorm nya so I was sulking. Sulking to the point that I got myself drunk. Sinabi ng friends ko na nagawild ako sa dorm. So he came in to the rescue. Nag-away pa kami. The memories aren’t clear coz I was drunk at the time. But they told me he slapped me two times. Kinaladkad pa daw sa hagdan. Tinulak nya daw ako sa bed, and then I couldn’t breathe. Naga-violet na daw ako so grabe ang takot nya to the point na umiyak sya. The next one he cried over was when I told him na hindi sya makakasurvive sa course namin kung hindi dahil sakin. Sabi nya, “Grabe, ang bobo ko pala noh?” while crying. I felt guilty about that, a lot. So yun, that night sa yellow house, umiyak sya sakin. Nagsorry sya. Sorry daw kung sumuko sya. Sorry daw sa lahat ng bagay na ginawa nya sakin. Sorry daw sa lahat ng atraso nya sa akin. Nag explain sya na grabe na daw kasi ang stress nya kasi iyak na lang daw ako ng iyak araw araw. So yun. Nasabi nya na ayaw na nya. Hindi naman daw na ayaw na nya sakin. Ayaw nya lang sa nangyayari sa amin. And I understood that. Naging okay kami for a while. Nagdodota pa nga kami sa lynnet kasama nung mga friends nya eh. Until one night, he came into my room and said, “Ah, bebe. Gusto ko palang malaman mo na nalaman na nina mama ang lahat ng nangyari satin.” He was shaking a lot. He was so scared. That’s how he is. He’s scared shitless about his parents. The exact opposite of me. Me: “San si mama mo?” (Malungkot kong tanong) Him: “Pupunta daw sya dito bukas ng umaga. Me: Kung kakausapin nya ako, kakausapin ko na lang sya. Him: “Sige lang. Ako na ang bahala.” Me: “Ano man? Maghiwalay na lang tayo?” (I was hoping he’d say no.) Him: “Bebe, ginawa ko naman ang lahat para magtagal tayo ba.” And I knew what was to happen next. I was gonna lose him. I knew it. His mom called and he went out of my room. That was the last time I saw him… Until after two weeks. Dahil hindi parin ako nagiging okay, pinabalik na ako sa Marbel para dun na lang magduty. It hurt, pero tama naman sila eh. It’s for my own good. And para makagraduate lang ako. Nag-usap usap ang parents namin about sa amin dalawa. Grabe. Nagharapan talaga ang both sides ng family namin. And grabe ka-intense ng pag-uusap. Ang gusto ng parents ko, pakasalan nya ako kasi nga may nangyari na sa amin, at dapat pakasalan nya ako according to our traditions. Narinig ko pang sabi nya, “Yang tradition na yan mapapakain nyo sa amin?!” And it was true, pero masakit parin na marinig yun. Hanggang sa ang napag-agreehan ay dun na rin sya magduduty sa Marbel kasama ko, para fair. Dahil yun ang kagustuhan ng parents ko. Tapos sabi ng parents nya, pag-usapan na lang daw ang kasal pag makatapos kami mag-aral. A part of the agreement was that I wasn’t allowed to talk to him, and so was for him to me. And because of my pride, I even said, “Kahit hindi ko pa sya tingnan kung yun ang gusto nyo.” And it was the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through in my whole life. Nagduduty kami sa CTDL nang hindi nag-uusap. Hindi kami nagtitinginan. Hindi kami magkasama. SO different from how we used to be. Lahat ng classmates namin na nagduduty doon, iniintriga ako about sa nangyayari sa amin. Sobrang sakit na kailangan mong magpretend na okay lang sayo ang mga nangyayari, pero ang sinsabi ko na lang sa kanila, “I hate him. So I’m okay,” ang napakapait na kasinungalingang sinasabi ko every time may nagtatanong sa akin. Sabi ko sa parents ko hindi ko kaya yung mga nangyayari. And tama sya. What I want, I get. So nag-usap usap nanaman ang parents namin. Pinipilit nanaman ng parents ko na pakasalan nya ako. Pero grabe rin ang mama nya. Pinapakita nya talaga na ayaw nya sakin. Pero actually okay lang. No, hindi sya actually ok. Nakakahurt yung mga pinagsasasabi nya sakin, pero nirerespeto ko parin sya, because she’s the mother of the person I loved the most. Nandun na yung sinabihan nya ako na bwiset na bwiset na sya sa akin. Na ayaw nya sakin para sa anak nya. Na hiya hiya rin daw pag may time. Na magkaroon din daw ako ng delikadesa (I couldn’t quite understand that). Basta marami. Pero infairness sa mother niya, may mga times din naman na okay kami pag nag-uusap sa phone. Ginaguide nya ako about sa relationship namin. Pero most of the time talaga nakakahurt sya eh. Nakakahurt sya magsalita pero tinatanggap ko na lang. Back to the story, ang napag-agreehan is hayaan kami na ayusin ang relationship namin. Na hindi daw makikialam ang parents namin sa relasyon namin. At first, it worked out. Nagkita kami sa school ulit after Christmas vacation, January 4, and he was the first one to talk to me. “Nakakain ka na?” I nodded. He did too. I didn’t know what to say next, but he beat me to it. “Anong nangyari sa mata mo?” I answered, “Sinuntok ako ng kapatid ko.” And it was true. My brother really did punch me in the eye. And it turned bloody red. He said, “Ha? Napadoktor mo na yan?” “Oo.” “Mabuti.” And the convo ended there. Our friends were shocked to see us talking to each other, but I left it as it was. Di na ako nag explain masyado. Basta ang sabi ko okay na kami. Naging okay nga kami, pero di ko parin maiwasan umiyak. Ewan ko ba. Nagrereplay kasi lahat ng mga pangyayari sa utak ko eh. Di ko kayang maniwala na okay kami. Di ko kayang maniwala na okay lang sya sakin. Na gusto nya pa ako. Na mahal nya pa ako. Di ko kayang maniwala dahil di sya kapanipaniwala. So iyak parin ako ng iyak most of the time. At every time na umiiyak ako, nasestress parin sya. And pinapagalitan nya ako, so the more kami na nag-aaway. (THE WHITE VAN SCENE) One time, nagrereview kami kay Sir mandy about blood banking. Hinihiram ko yung phone nya. Ayaw nyang ibigay. So nagclick na sa utak ko na may katext sya na ayaw nyang ipakita sa akin. Pinagalitan nya pa ako kasi mapilit daw ako. Until he got sick of me nagging him about his phone and he gave it to me forcefully. Masakit, physically, pero okay lang. At least binigay nya. And I was right, may mga katext nga sya. “Akin na,” pagalit nyang sabi. Pero di ko binigay yung phone. Tamang tama patapos na yung review. Lumalabas na ang mga classmates namin sa room. Yun, nakagawa kami ng scene kasi pinipilit nyang kunin yung phone sa akin. And ayaw kong ibigay. Bat ayaw kong ibigay? Kasi gusto ko pa syang kausapin about doon sa mga texts, and I knew that the moment I would give him the phone, he’s just gonna run away and escape from my questions. Galit na galit sya. Kahit na nasasaktan na nya yung kamay ko because he was gripping it too hard, wala syang paki, makuha lang yung phone nya. My friends went near, but they couldn’t do anything kasi ayaw nilang makialam. Sana nga nakialam na lang sila eh. Para may magdefend naman sa akin. Pero I understand kung bakit ayaw nila. I even called for Ate Leah’s help, kahit di kami okay that time, kasi grabe na kasakit ng kamay ko sa hawak nya. Akala ko makikinig sya kay Ate Leah pero wala ring nagawa si Ate Leah. Di ko talaga binigay yung phone, hanggang sa nakalabas kami sa room, and we stayed there sa second floor ng SLR. We started quarreling. He said, “Kabwiset na buhay to,” and it hurt a lot. He was sitting, and I was standing, crying, and didn’t know what to say. I asked who the hell those girls were, and ang sabi nya, nakilala nya daw sa Gensan. Like wow. Palagi pa naman syang pumupunta ng Gensan kasi nagpapa-Check up daw sya. Ganon? Tapos pinapakita nya sakin sa Marbel na okay kami? Naglalandian parin? Gumagawa parin ng mga bagay na di na namin dapat ginagawa? Gusto nya akong suntukin. He brought his fist really close to my face, but I stood firm. I showed him that I wasn’t scared of him. Truly I wasn’t scared kasi alam ko naman na di nya ako kayang saktan, pero behind that strong mask that I put up, was the pain brought about by the fact na sya na nga ang may kasalanan, ako pa dapat ang gusto nyang saktan. Nagsabi pa sya na, “Kung di lang!” Hindi ko na alam kung ano pa ang karugtong nun. Napagod akong makipag-away, so I started walking away, and put his phone inside my bag para di nya makuha. I walked and walked and walked towards the CTDL, constantly saying “Wag kang mag-make ng scene” sa kanya. Tumatahimik din sya, keeping up with my pace. Hanggang maabot namin yung door ng CTDL and he grabbed my hand, not wanting me to get out kasi nasa labas lang ang van namin. “Akin na yung phone ko!!” “Get off of me!!” (Inglisera kasi ako eh. haha) Pilit nya akong hinila-hila. And wala man lang tumulong sa akin sa mga kaibigan ko. Tiningnan lang nila ako as he was pulling and grabbing me and preventing me to get out and reach the van. Ibibigay ko naman sana yung phone eh. Naprovoke lang ako na di ibigay nung hinila hila nya ako. Tinawag ko si Marko pero tiningnan nya lang ako. Tinawag ko si Maam Kat pero late na syang tumayo. I managed to get out. Pero lumabas din sya at hinila-hila ako. Kahit yung mga bantay ko sa van di rin ako natulungan. Kainis. Nabitawan nya lang ako nung nirescue na kami ni Maam Hazel at Sir Mandy. Which was so nakakahiya by the way. Nakapasok ako sa van namin, still crying. Parang ako pa yung naging masama sa nangyari sa amin. Pinagalitan ako ni Mam Hazel. Parang nainsulto pa ako. Pero sige lang sabi ko. If no one would understand me, I know God does. I gave him his phone back, and the van left. And I looked back, seeing our classmates surrounding him. Di ko na alam kung ano pa ang pinag usap-usapan nila doon. Even after that, naging okay parin kami. Ewan ko kung paano. Ganun lang kasi talaga eh. Nagiging okay lang kami bigla even after a very strong fight. Long story short, malapit na ang graduation. I was so scared that he would leave me after graduation so I made him promise to me, “Promise me you’re not gonna leave me after this,” and he said, “Promise.” I knew right then and there that he was going to break that promise again like all the other promises he broke before. And I was right. After graduation, wala na. Di ko na sya nakita pa up until now. Nagkita lang kami one time, pero nag away lang kami kasi ayaw na daw nya talaga. Tapusin na daw namin. Nagkagulo pa kami nun kasi hinila hila sya nung pinsan ko na lalaki na kasama ko that time. But I couldn’t take it. I still defended him. And after that day. Well, di ko na siya nakita. Di ko narin siya macontact. Wala na. Sinulat ko to hindi dahil nagpapaawa ako. Sinulat ko to hindi dahil gusto kong pasamain ang image nya. Sinulat ko to kasi gusto kong maintindihan niyo kung bat ako nagkakaganito. I want you to know my side of the story. He can tell his if he wants. And Ii would understand. My problem is that I’m up against my own self. I remember everything. I’m being tortured by my own brain. I’m tortured by the memories. I’m tortured by the looks people give me. I’m tortured by my illness. I’m tortured by what he did to me. Kung tingin nyo kasalanan ko ang lahat ng nangyari, okay lang. Naiintindihan ko. Kung kasalanan naman niya, hayaan nyo na lang. Ang gusto ko na lang ngayon, sana maintindihan nyo ako. Yun lang. Salamat. I’ve said sorry to the people whom I used to be friends with before. And I’ve gained those friendships back. People have said sorry to me too, and I have accepted those apologies wholeheartedly. I’m just glad I’m okay now. To him, thank you. God sent you to me to make me stronger. To teach me a lesson. I learned that now. I’ve accepted that you’re gone. I’ve accepted that this is life, and this is how it is. If I disappointed anyone, my family, my friends, my teachers, and my classmates, I am deeply sorry. If you hate me, I’m sorry. Though I know there’s not a chance that we can still be friends in the future seeing as how we can never fix our mistakes, I still hope for peace upon both of us. I’ve just gone through a lot and do thankful that I’m still alive today. This all has a purpose. What that purpose is, I still have no idea. Pero sana, all these happened for a very good reason. Sana. Sana. Okay na ako bebe. Promise. Let’s be both happy. ^_^

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jimlingss · 5 years

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I can't believe you ended chp 16 of Jp like that...i want to fight 😭

if you fight me, i’m guaranteed to be hospitalized ((look at these noodle arms)) and then who will post the next chapter on Monday? uh huuuh, that’s what I thought. Think twice before you wanna square up. (ง •̀_•́)ง

I am now answering spoiler-y messages below, so beware....

[SPOILER ALERT]

*SPOILER ALERT**SPOILER ALERT**!SPOILER ALERT!*

Massive spoilers to come, please do not read if you have not yet read Jungle Park Chapter 16. Or go ahead and read if you’re chaotic like that.

Anonymous said: ok but what if oc and Hoseok were actually engaged....

I’m an idiot, anon - I accidentally deleted your ask before I copied it correctly lol oops, but ding ding ding! correct! you’re a winner!! i believe you sent me this message like 2 chapters ago and honestly you freaked me out by how accurate you were. dammit, I might’ve been too predictable, but you catch on quick. sorry i couldn’t answer sooner hahaha i couldn’t risk other people jumping on the same theory. you’re a genius tho, i’ll give you props for it.

Anonymous said: DATED!FOR 4 YEARS! ENGAGED! Omg wow shit really hit the fan like there is no coming back omg Wowoowoeoeoeooew I’m SHOOK like I never expected that like NEVER!!!

Anonymous said:I KNEW IT!!! i had a feeling it was either a really long relationship or they were engaged at one point. TURNS OUT IT WAS BOTH omg gahdhsjxbjsjs I'm so excited to see this all just unravel omgomgomgomg

kawaii-ing said: FhbsjshJuxYhUgrnziVJgdjsbdud JUNGLE PARK CHAPTER 16 JUST WRECKED ME YO 😱😱😱😱😱 HE KNOWS AND SHE DOESNT KNOW HE KNOWS IM SO CURIOUS FOR WHATS GONNA HAPPEN NOW Btw lovvvveeee your writing, thanks for all your hard work boo xxx💜💜

ASDFGHJKL I SAID SHIT WOULD HIT THE FAN AND I FOLLOWED THROUGH, RIGHT?? AREN’T YOU PROUD! THERE’S NO CLICKBAIT ON THIS BLOG HAHAHA

Anonymous said: omgg 4 years? ENGAGED?? I’m ??? jut WHAT happened

:O :O

Anonymous said: BROOOOOOO! THEY WERE ENGAGED :o *insert Pikachu meme*

pikachu meme?? hahaha is that a sarcastic surprise? so you weren’t actually? lolololol :O

Anonymous said: Ahh I loved jungle park 16!! I'm so excited for the angst to come 👀 is hoseok's car accident related to oc at all?

hmm guess you’ll have to wait and see ((but also just putting it out there that if it was related that would be pretty makjang and lol im not about that life with this series))

Anonymous said: (1)oh holy hell Kina,,,my head’s hurting bcs of JP:16. ENGAGED what?? huh. now its one of my fav chapters, like 4-6 (ah those innocent cute baby steps in hoseok’s&oc’s relationship,,,not THIS). but freaking FINALLY someone spilled the beans. i love this kind of scenes, THE truth revelation. chang’s unaware of storm hes causing with his words, hoseok’s world’s simply crushing, oc doesnt know yet whats happening&dae is helplessly watching from sidelines trying to stop the catastrophe&failing

Anonymous said:(2)thats sad. i kinda can imagine what hoseoks feeling now, plagued w question that almost no one’s willing to answer, that drive him crazy.what happened? why did oc hide the truth? what did i do, how bad did we hurt each other? why can’t i remember any of it fuck. its a perfect opportunity for insecurities&ugly thoughts&inner demons to poison his mind. and oc...her house of cards collapsed revealing things she was trying hard to escape. will she feign ignorance again or will she finally face it

Anonymous said:(3)i just hope that in the end after this storm theyll reach their own peace, whatever the outcome will be. past stays in past, but only if every issue is resolved. otherwise it might return later&be worse than before. it was a great chapter. thank you — chem

THE BEANS HAVE BEEN SPILLED!!! honestly the universe is in chaos right now lol Hoseok’s like the fuck....and oc doesn’t even know lol but yeah it’s definitely a sad situation for almost all parties. there’s still more to be revealed tho, like the actual details of what the fuck went on haha anyways, i’m glad you’re enjoying it!

Anonymous said: AAHHHHH ITS FINALLY HERE!! Thank you 💞💞. Wow it was truly a lot and honestly, I feel kinda scared for Hoseok... it’s crazy that he really doesn’t remember anything and learning all this new information is like being in another word. If this story wasn’t one about love and fluff, it could’ve totally turned into a horror story lol. Thank you again and I’m very excited to see where the story goes!!

a horror? can’t say im very good at the genre but that’s definitely an interesting concept....the more i think about it....like for someone to go through something suppper traumatic and not remember at all and someone appears in their life but it turns out that someone was actually the serial killer? dammmmn that would be really interesting. i digress, thank you for enjoying it. definitely Hoseok is lost, scared, confused.

Anonymous said: SHIT’S 🗣 HITTING 🗣 THE 🗣 FAN 🗣 omg *insert “she’s meditating” “she’s dead” meme* and the fact that this is just the beginning??? how?? what?? i’m honestly so skek for the next chapter like i dont think hoseok’s gonna go apeshit on yn but you never know now do you ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ superb chapter for reals!!!! like, all of your writing is great but this chapter?? *chef’s kiss* didnt even know i was an angst fan until this chapter lol sending all my love to you!!! - chanting anon

hahhahahahhahaha there’s a lot more to unravel. now the puzzle has been exposed, we gotta start looking at the details. thank you for the message *throws chef’s kiss back* also welcome to the angst realm lol

Anonymous said: finals starts at the 20th and school ends in the 24th and we're still at chap 1 on our research. Due to stress, i thought, hey, might as well read the latest chapter bUT WHO KNEW IT WOULD BRING ME MORE STRESS. FOUR YEARS?! ENGAGED?! i feel like hoseok right now. You make such awesome stories and worlds. It affects me in so many good ways i cant even. i dont always give you my thoughts per chapter but i want you to know that i scream at every single one of them. have a nice day! - anon h.a.n.d.

oh my goodness!!! good luck on your exams!! hahah im sorry the chapter isn’t very much comfort food and kind of more wild but still happy you enjoyed it!

Anonymous said: PT. 15 & 16?! WHAT. I COME BACK TO TWO CHAPTERS. HOLY COW. but really, like now that I know what I know, I’m so sad. I wonder what their relationship was like. That’s a lot of time to invest in someone and for it to fall apart like that... I couldn’t imagine what OC had to go through. I’m sad BUT THE DEVELOPMENT IS MAKING ME SO FREAKIN EXCITED. THANK YOU FOR GIVING US SOME ANSWERS ABOUT THE PAST. I CANT WAIT TO SEE HOW MUCH ELSE HE FINDS OUT.

I KNOW RIGHT?? LIKE FOUR YEARS IS A FUCKING LONG TIME. then again that was like 8 years ago. but yeah, it’s sad for both oc and Hoseok, y’know? I’M GLAD YOU’RE EXCITED!!!

Anonymous said: Great Jungle Park chapter! I'm pissed because SOMEONE SPOILED IT and i saw they were engaged before i could even click on the 'read more',,, but great chapter! I wish i could've read it without knowing, it kinda made me sad and it was not as great as it could have been.. @people spoiling, fuck off >:(( @you you're the best writer ily u nice keep going!! Can't wait to have Hoseok's full mind process over how crazy it is he doesn't remember 4 YEARS and an ENGAGEMENT (and only 2 dates huhu)

haha chill, anon. did you actually know that spoilers can make someone enjoy a story more? it’s actually a really interesting thing to google and find out more about. the chapter’s still the same whether you had an inkling of what was going on or not. you still enjoyed it too, right? :D

Anonymous said: CRAP OK, well, we knew it was something more than two days, but HONESTLY lol I love how you wrote y/n trying to keep it together. I could feel her fear as she lost control of the situation when Hoseok showed up. Do you think in her mind she even slightly expected him to show up? I'm assuming she's very internal w/ her thoughts/feelings seeing as she doesn't talk to anyone about what happened between her & Hobi all those years ago nor has she dealt w/ it, mostly just avoided it, would you say?

oh yeah oc was on the verge of a mental breakdown when he showed up rofl, damn near scared her. he was basically like a jumpscare LOL. but yeah for sure she didn’t expect him to come. i mean she basically told him and he was like ‘ok whatever’ and didn’t express interest and it’s not like he got an invite so she didn’t know he would actually go out of his way to show up. and yeah i agree, oc’s very internal with her feelings, or at least what happened all those years ago. it’s sensitive issues anyway that she’s left behind. or at least tried to.

tofugguk said: BROOO i LITERALLY— LITERALLY LOST IT. WHEN CHANGSUB DROPPED THEM BEING TOGETHER FOR LIKE FOUR YEARS THEN THE- “You guys even got engaged.” PART I SCREAMED. YOOOOO I CANTTT HANDLE THIS

Changsub isn’t the dumbass that we wanted. But the dumbass we needed.

((don’t you love how oc tried so hard to keep it a secret for like 16 chapters aka like near a year and some idiot comes trapezing in and in his first scene he just spills all the beans??? hahahha))

#SPOILERRRRS #tofugguk #chanting anon #anon h.a.n.d.#kawaii-ing #chem anon #Jimlings #Anonymous

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