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mrfreezebug · 6 years

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Idk I’ve mentioned a few shitty exes in passing before. But I never go into detail. And idk man due to recent events I’m just gonna vent a little bit about a piece of emmett dating history. CW: Bad bad bad relationship things tl;dr tl;dr tl;dr s orry if you’re on mobile

So like YEARS AGO I got technically broken up with 3 times over a three month period which resulted in me being stoned out of my mind for three weeks straight and shit faced when i wasn’t up all up there. I just felt horrible. And through all that... I managed to meet someone who seemed super chill, fun, and nice and junk. And while we were casually seeing each other I got to meet new people and swing with them a lil. It was super therapeutic and they seemed so open minded and like they knew themselves so well... and I was still so lonely that I thought even though I didn’t have feelings yet I admired the FUCK out of them in the moment and thought i could grow to really like them?? We talked about it a lot and they sounded super understanding. Even though they constantly asked if I was ready they kept telling me they wanted "easy” as much as I did... But once I let go of my apprehensions of getting with them officially... It turned out to be a big mistake. SO shit happened and once we became official the person who I was seeing before who ghosted suddenly messaged me bein all “sorry babe” and I was all: “I gotta tell u something” And so I told them I was seeing someone else on accounta how they just ditched me for a month with no response. And they asked me who And I told them And they told me to get the fuck out that they were a trash person. They also guilted me for moving on. “I leave for a week and you’re already on to someone else??” like R U K I D D I N G M E and I thought they were just being a salty jealous piece of bitch so I told them to chill. But they wanted closure and I’m nice so I said ok to meeting up in person. But the person I was seeing currently said they feared for my safety and that I’d cheat on them with that person. (Needless 2say they did not like eachother) And I was just??? “I wouldn’t cheat and what sorta safety concerns r there” And they were all “they’ll rape you or something and I don’t want to date someone who puts themself in the position to be raped” That was a pretty big red flag lmfao.

I should have just told both them to fuck off then but Ive never learned to really just leave anyone like that before. Im way better at it now but before I didn’t want to break ties with the only person who seemed to want to be around me and make me happy at that moment... so I just ignored that gross comment and I just told the other person we couldn’t meet.

But sure enough that weird kinda controlling situation turned into 8months of a hellish relationship where they were just SCREAMING at me for EVERYTHING. Like they literally screamed all the time. There were more times I was being yelled at than not??? Other people often told them to even calm the fuck down in public. It was wild. The screaming bullshit got to the point where THEIR friends came to me to see if I was okay. They’d literally sit me down and ask me if they physically harmed me. Which, they didn’t but there were threats surrounding every time I forgot something or messed something up. Nothing like serious but, honestly? Who for real who says “it makes me want to smack you when you can’t remember basic things.” Thinking back to this rn is so shocking to me. Idk man.

A few times they would get way too into my face and I’d have to physically shove them away because it was too intense. Just yelling. Right in my face. I can’t even remember why they were yelling. They were just always over reacting over something small I did. It all blurred together at some point. I just know I was always either zoned the fuck out or crying. They also would often brag about being able to make people cry also. Like “I can make anyone cry. I know what to say to I get to people the most.” And it’s fucking gross, as well as a common thing I’d run into with other friends n shit. Idk why controlling people always end up with my wimpy ass. BuT ANYWAY I also couldn’t use my computer, go to conventions, or see friends without dealing with their controlling ass. So that was also a bag of shit. My life was fucking MISERABLE Talking to them only got me so far. Like five minutes of potential mutual clarity in any situation before they’d go on a rant about their problems and it’d basically end with me saying sorry with no progress. And I was still so soft spoken then when I tried twice to break up w/them it failed. It makes me want to go back and SHAKE MYSELF like why did I put myself through that for THAT MANY MONTHS??? Another kicker: similar to my experiences with other partners I was coerced into sexual situations probably every other week tops?? By threatening to break up with me, or tell me that I suck as a partner, telling me I make them feel ugly, etc… shits fucking weird like here I was crying like 9/10 times they guilted me for not wanting sex, my face is fucking UGLY and they still wanted it?? SHIT MAN. I cried during sex a lot. It fucks with me to this day. My initial instinct is to be too afraid to say no to sex.

But they actually ended up breaking up with me bc I went to go hang out with a friend and not tell them. It was probably more of a threat to try to control me but I saw that opening and booked it so far away, man I went to Denny’s that night for the first time without worrying about upsetting them for not answering their texts right away. I actually felt BAD that I didn’t care tho?? It was dumb but this thing is still a bit of a problem for me. Even if logically they deserve to feel bad, I feel horrible for hurting anyones feelings. They seemed WAY torn up about the break up. I made some empty promises like an idiot. Telling them I’d see how I felt if they worked on their anger issues and shit. It was so fucked up when I was alone with them I felt so bad for them. I felt like I really hurt them or that I owed them something for the times they were nice to me and paid for my shit and whatnot. I also have trouble staying mad. I always just forgive and wanna move on. So we’d actually meet up with peeps at gay events n what not, I was friends with their friends at this point and I didn’t want to rock the boat with anyone even when they tried getting me back at the most random times. But I’m hella distant from people in general. It gets me into trouble with people I genuinely used to like let alone with people who stress me out lmao So they’d send me paragraphs of friendship break ups and delete me from everything then message me and try to readd me again and then get upset again that I don’t “check in on them” how “I don’t care about anyone but myself” and just all around stress me the fuck out. I just have a hard time checking in on people bc of various reasons. I’m working on my self confidence for it. And I don’t want to make people stay if that bothers them. So I just kinda let them come and go but the constant confrontation is STRESSFUL. It makes it harder to check in on anyone who pulls that shit tbh.

And NOW they’re trying to do it again after a few years and like I feel BAD again and like I should be over everything tbh it was YEARS AGO BUT I REALLY DONT WANT TO CARE ANYMORE. IM KINDA PATHETIC T H E E N D

#i mIGHT delete this #but it's rly nice to just shit this out without actually bothering anyone #emmett chit chats

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delicrieux · 3 years

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—MAKE YOU SAY “OH” EXTRAS: TINDER

extra meaning non-canonical occurrence; can be placed anywhere in the “make you say oh” timeline after couple (cha. 14) and before the final “oh”.

pairing—corpse husband x f!reader warnings—tinder profiles, tw: men, swearing. word count—2.6k. format— written. ─── ❥ req by nonnie: y/n makes a youtube vid/live stream where she's just swiping through her tinder acc and corpse literally blocks her lmao

author’s note—akldsljfs this was such a funny idea i could not not write it lmao

ultimate masterlist. myso masterlist

You have pulled the biggest brain move by setting up both a facecam and a screen recorder on your phone. All is beautifully displayed and visible during the stream. Your fanbase is particularly intrigued on what exactly are you planning on doing today, seeing as your tweet of “strea” had been a bit vague, if not downright ominous. No emojis. No elaboration. You couldn’t even be bothered to finish the word. Truly, a mystery. Everyone tuned in and are currently waiting with bated breath.

A few of your fans must sense upcoming doom because the overall mood in the chat turns from optimistically intrigued to...evil. It’s an entity all on it’s own now, clawing at you through the screen with various renditions of laughter and devil emojis. A few eggplants thrown in there for good measure, accompanied, naturally, by the scandalous water drops. At first the common consensus is that you’re biting the bullet and going through your camera roll on stream. Definitely an idea worth considering, though you frankly don’t know what lies at the start of the 11k photograph journey, and you are afraid to check in public. Could be a harmless meme, could be a salacious pic you had saved of an OF star. It’s really a gamble. Either way, you would definitely get banned. You might still get banned. Why do you insist on doing shit like this?

Because it’s funny. Because you’re kinda stupid. Because it’s just so absolutely laughably easy to do.

A smile quirks your lips, and while it is not explicitly smug, the look in your eyes sure is, “Greetings,” You utter lowly, dimming the lights--the budget for this stream! Ugh, you went all out, “my children.”

mother i crave violence

sensing evil energy rn!!

i do not claim the energy in this video for myself or anyone else watching this 💖💖

^with peace and love shut the fuck up

“I know y’all lowkey hoes-” Upon your words the chat splits into two: one side eagerly agrees (even shares a few OF accounts! How helpful, supporting small businesses!), whilst the other feverishly insists on innocence. You make a face stuck somewhere between offended and bewildered, “Now c'mon now-I know you. I know you all. We’re the same, don’t-what was that?”

You try to scroll back to the comment but it’s loss in the sea of incoming messages, “I swear to God I just saw-”

Corpse_Husband: i love late night streams it’s not like i have anything better to do.

“COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORPSE!!!!”

rip headphone users

i cant feel my face when im with you by the weeknd but instead of face its my fucking ears

yall think full vol on pc is better?my parents woke up 😭😭😭😭

To think he’s spending his last waking moments for today with watching you (he probably still would have anyway, because you do not posses an ounce of shame or self-control and pester him relentlessly)! It makes your heart sing, and suddenly, a traitorous, fun hating idea barges it’s way through the crowd of incoherent buzzing and states: don’t do this. For some reason it also has the voice of Rae. As if that would work in guilt-tripping you- Rae never succeed, and her fictitious rendition in mind won’t fare much better either.

Still, you thought about it. That must count for something. Corpse will understand, won’t he? Why don’t you want to upset it in the first place? Men look so funny when they lose their shit, like hello, don’t you have anything better to do? But the image of Corpse just sitting there, hurt, distraught, leaving you on seen because he’s in his sad boy hours leaves a sour taste in your mouth.

queen rly went from 🥺😊 to 😕 u ok bbgirl?

Corpse_Husband: no pouts cutie

akjdjoeijdfse cUTIE??? deadass boutta r.i.p.

Well that succeeded in eliminating everything from mind, doubts included. If this was an anime, the scenery would shift into something roseate, with flowers and bubbles and sparkles all around you along with a halo or two. Alas, not an anime, rather reality. The led-lights, however, seemingly possessing a will of their own, slowly turn from deep violet to pink. You smile brightly, like the absolute dumbass you are, and you are met with a ray of heart and blushing emojis. You are just so cute, a real cutie! Still in your disguise adorable state, you swipe your finger on your phone screen, the grin never leaving your lips.

There, among the plethora of apps, nestled sits a red square with a white fire plastered on it. The delicate calligraphy on the bottom reads: TINDER.

The mood changes once again- you’re giving the roaches emotional instability by how quickly everything flips over- and the chat spams eggplants vigorously; some, of course, bravely fight against the thirst.

nooooooo i thought y/n is gonna stream in a god honoring way!!!

^pack it up girl defined

“So, Charlie and I-” You note a few awfully curious comments and squint, “-yes, we talk a lot. Charlie is a really good friend of mine. We’re best friends. Brothers. Sisters. Cousins. The whole fucking family tree-no, that sounds weird. Delete. Anyway, Charlie, being the absolute fucker he is, said, hey, you know what would be funny? And I was like, nooo, what would be funny, Charlie? And he says to me, he says, says, making fun of men on Tinder. And if y’all need any more proof that Charlie and I are platonic soulmates, then dunno, my children, my roaches, I dunno-I dunno what more to give you.”

You can’t be bothered reading the comments, there’s too damn many. You also need to save your reading comprehension for the actual bios. It has a time limit, that darn thing.

“Okay, so I made a profile earlier, but I hadn’t swiped on anyone yet-” Despite the fact, Tinder helpfully informs you that already 99+ people have swiped right on you, “So, this is me,” You show the pictures you have of yourself, and damn, not to be a conceited narcissist, but you look really good. Like if you saw yourself on Tinder, you’d super like instantly. “Uhm, so, my bio-my bio says: let’s sauce in the tub together, ya dig? splishy splashy, giggle giggle.”

i cant believe we are witnessing y/n trying to form a coherent sentence live

shes trying give her time

ya dig??? y not capeesh

what scene from the godfather is this lol?

“My anthem, is,” You laugh, covering your lips with your hand, “Corpsie, this is form you-” Proudly, you show that indeed, Corpse’s E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE is listed as your anthem on Spotify, “Hehe.” Yes, you say that aloud.

Corpse_Husband: you’re killing me Corpse_Husband: thanks baby Corpse_Husband: now delete tinder ❤︎

You ignore his last quip, deciding it’s finally time to get this show on the road, “Right, let’s do this shit. I’m not actually going to swipe on any guys that look, uh, decent? Yuck, can’t believe I just said that, uhm, because I-because I feel like some actually deserve a chance with someone? I don’t wanna get anyone’s hopes up, as I am currently in a long distance relationship with Chrollo. So I’m just gonna swipe on, like, frat boy assholes. Because I don’t care if I hurt their feelings. Quite frankly I don’t think they possess them in the first place.”

The chat voices their agreements. With the ground rules set, you, giddy, click on the first profile.

Does Tinder know what you’re doing, your plan? The FBI agent watching you through your phone must be working overtime, bless his heart. They must, because the the first guy to meet you is named Jason, and there he is, blond hair and blue eyes, holding up a fish the size of his torso. Marginally adequate in looks, pretty good muscles. A solid 7 bordering on 8. He’s the same age as you, 15 miles away, and he studies at some college you don’t care enough to look up. Bio reads:

I like to drive fast. Fishing is my passion, but if you can’t catch me by the ocean, you’ll catch me catching waves, bro! Love a good gym date. You do squats, and I’ll keep a close eye to make sure you’re doing it correctly ;) You probably saw me at a party. Leader of the The Phi Kappa Psi. I’m a Gemini, if that matters lol.

You, of course, read it aloud, dramatically; provide some constructive criticism-he seems nice, but he’s a Gemini, so naturally, you can’t trust him at all! Also, that gym date session leaves little to be desired. With your rant done, you swipe right, and shocker! (not), it’s an instant match.

“Okie, I still wanna swipe of some profiles, so I’ll see what he’ll text later-” For a second you wonder the legalities of this stream, but you’re having too much fun to think of it further, “guys, I won't get sued, right?”

NOW she considers it

well....

if you do, we’ll kickstart your lawyer dw <3

Onto the next profile. Kevin, 25, is seen fixing his car- or, you assume he’s mid-fixing it, you don’t really know why else he’d hold a wrench and be covered in oil. He’s shirtless, and the caveman part of your brain echoes something closely resembling AWOOOGA!, but...but!...blonde hair, blue eyes. You pout again, “I don’t...I don’t really like blond boys, ya know? With the blue eyes and all, it’s just not my thing, uhm, unless it’s like-like...Armin from Attack on Titan. Else I don’t care.”

Onto the bio:

You have to treat a car like you treat a woman: go on long rides, take the lead, but most importantly, keep her oiled up 😜

“What the fuck did I just read?”

The chat is equally confused. You swipe right anyway- another match. Too easy.

The stream continues without incident for a solid thirty minutes- all of your matches, expect a few that genuinely looked like normal dudes that really couldn’t write a decent bio to save their lives, had been blond hair blue eyed gym rats with ranging forms of misogyny. Some opened with asking for nudes out right, some asked about your day first before asking for nudes. You prefer the former. Straight to the point! You admire the gall.

But then, down the forty-five minute mark a profile popped up that made you still by your phone, your smile dying as your eyes bulged. Dear God. Lord in heaven. Who is this demonspiit lookalike and why is he so fucking hot? The neck tats, the skateboard, the clothes- holy shit, you gotta close your mouth before some drool dribbles out.

No bio, just his name, Tyler, and that he’s 23.

“He boutta be 23 in me.” You mutter, swiping right with lightning speed.

WHAT DID SHE SAYYYYY?????????

tyler is y/ns karma for relentlessly mocking that one guy that had a whole ass list on what his “female” partner should be

^he deserved it and also tyler seems like a typical fuckboi y/n grow a braincell

look at mom 🥺 her eyes are sparkling

It wasn’t a match right away. You somehow expected as much, but it still upset you. Simp behavior, pathetic. The stream continued bravely, and when Tyler messaged you a simple “yo” you totally didn’t sequel. You didn’t manage to text him back on stream: texting all those guys that you didn’t really find all that attractive was easy, but this...You’re a sucker for a man who radiates red flag energy. His whole profile is a red flag. He might just be a red flag himself.

What can you do? Suddenly becoming color blind is not easy. Once the stream ends, you unmatch with everyone expect Tyler. He you chat with for a bit, but a sudden craving for different company makes you abandon him, too. You don’t feel too heartbroken for him- you’re certain there’s already too many girls in his dms. You wish them luck.

Happily, you delete Tinder. You go to Twitter, notice you’re trending again- look at you go! Queen shit- and as you compose a thank you tweet, something strange happens. You go to text Corpse, but when you click on his profile you grow cold.

YOU’RE BLOCKED. You can’t follow or see @/Corpse_Husband ‘s Tweets.

...Pardon? You hop onto Instragram and-also blocked. Seriously? And you thought you’re one petty bitch. Corpse is seriously prissy about everything. Damn, if he didn’t like your stream, he could’ve just said so. Didn’t need to, like, block you from his internet existence. So not cool.

You try texting him but no text go through. Well how will you let him know you deleted Tinder just like he asked? You relieve your frustrations by punching your pillow a few times. Later, you apologize to her, you didn’t mean to hurt her, it’s not her, it’s you. Fuck, 5 minutes of exile and you’re already loosing your mind.

“Raeeeeeeeeeeee!” You whine loudly. It’s roughly 2am now, but you don’t care. You’re too heartbroken to care. There’s a thump from her room, but nothing else, “Raeeeeeeeee!!!” You wail, wallowing in self-pity on your bed. You hear a very loud, very annoyed sigh from her room, followed by angry marching. Your door is abruptly thrown open, and in the dim, colorful light you see her scowl.

“What?” She grits.

“Can you please tell Corpse to unblock me from everything?”

“What did you do now?”

“I made fun of men on Tinder.”

She pauses, “...That doesn’t sound so bad.” She surmises, voice laced with suspicion, “What else?”

“...There was one really hot guy that I kinda sorta talked to after--”

“Y/n.”

“-But I totally deleted Tinder and honestly he was pretty boring, so, like, uhm, please?”

She sighs, the servery of which implies she is holding the weight of the world on her shoulders, and instantly you know that you won. She taps away at her phone, “You owe me one.” She states, and before you can reply, she exits your room and slams the door behind her.

Grinning, you text his phone again. The message goes through, oh gosh, you’re so relieved you feel like crying. This has been, officially, the worst five minutes of your life.

You Y DID U BLOCK ME LOSER!!! MAJOR LOSER ALERT!! I DELETED EVERYTHING IT WAS A JOKE r u still mad at me? y u always mad at me i never do anything:(

my husband You’re my baby, how do you think I’ll react when I see you publicly simping for some asshole on Tinder?

Oh no, he used the words, he delivered the killing blow. You’re finished. Your heart can’t take such a workout.

Not that you would ever admit it to him, though!

You hehe ur jellyyyy u always dis jealous hehe?

my husband Not jealous.

Yeah, you might not be the brightest tool in the shed, but even you know that’s a lie. You send him an array of kissy emojis that he doesn’t have the decency to reply to. Then, completely unprompted and dead serious, you send him a simple voice memo, saying: “You really have nothing to worry about, you know? You’re my favorite, Corpsie.”

He responds via text, reiterating that he’s not fucking jealous and that he just doesn’t like when you show such outward interest in anyone but it’s not like he cares or anything. It’s just really, like, weeeeird to see his baby simping for another man like that totally ruins the whole dynamic!!! It was only natural that he should block you on every social media platform, including his personal number (which, like, was completely necessary! Doesn’t matter that his viewers can’t see it, it’s gotta be super believable!), and inform his followers of that, because it’s all a joke, like, for the dynamic, that Youtube grind, you know? Ya dig? No personal feelings were involved at all. He totally wasn’t upset that you found someone else cute, no way!

my husband I’m not jealous. Lol.

You ik u repeated tht like 50 times u trynna convince me or??? lmao

my husband No comment. ...You don’t actually talk to anyone else like we’re talking, right?

You no one else calls me their baby if thts wat ur wondering at least not to my knowledge lol im all urs

my husband That makes me very happy to hear:)

Yeah, it makes you very happy, too.

hope you liked it!! xx

#corpse husband #corpse husband x reader #corpse #corpse x reader #corpse husband x y/n #corpse x y/n #myso #make you say oh #imagine #imagines

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yyuuna · 3 years

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i’m not sure if your requests are open ( ignore this if they aren’t :00 ) but the fake dating trope witj todoroki and bakugo bdjnebfb

fake dating

—fake dating with them

includes: s. todoroki / k. bakugo

pairing: various x reader

genre: fluff

disclaimer: lowercase intended

warning: swearing

a/n: i triED 🏃🏻‍♀️ i’ve seen tropes like this all the time but i still couldn’t get it done nicely but here u go,,

—todoroki

despite having literally no idea about what’s going on, he’s no snitch

simply doesn’t care

will submit to ur plans because he’d think why not?? a friend is in dire need of help, so why shouldn’t he help?

ok, on to the story

as u were walking down the hallway of the school building’s second third floor, u spot someone

his name is sora, ur stalker during middle school—he’s rly creepy

by creepy, i mean he used to harass you with his undying love during lunch time, touching you whenever he can, bombard you with diabetes during valentines day, invading your privacy, lying to everyone that you’re together

a squeak make its way out to escape from your lips as your widened eyes stare at sora

thankfully, the joyous screams and boisterous laughs coming from the school fair had weakened his senses, thus not being able to immediately see your cowering figure

he was hard to shoo away back then

despite being able to defend yourself from him back then, him being annoying is rather intolerable

so u sneakily go down the stairs cz u dont want sora to notice nor harass u

buttttt sora caught sight of you—after all, you’re the reason he came to UA’s school fair

“[name]! come back here!” he yelled, jogging to make his way to you

ur run suddenly accelerated tenfold

u kinda caught todoroki’s attention bcz ur shoes were clacking rly loud on the floor

todoroki was just standing there, looking at u

he just got out of the classroom

“oh thank god—todoroki!” you gestured to him as your panic withers away

well at least until sora’s voice stiffened you again

“[name], let me talk to you.” sora grabbed your shoulder rather too harshly

“what do you want? why are you even here?” u back away, but he only gets closer

“what, didn’t you miss me?” he smirked, contradicting the disgusted scowl on your face

todoroki awkwardly stood there, silently watching the exchange

“c’mon, everybody knows we’re together, so i wanted to take you out with a couple of friends” sora took ahold of your hand, caressing your palm

honestly, you just want to go home

so your eyes swiveled at anything but him, looking for nothing in particular

until ur sight lands of todoroki

“shou~can we go to our date now? im rly hungry” u interlocked ur hand with his as u escape from sora’s hold

ok, he was genuinely confused but uh

“uh sure...” todoroki said

sora scoffed “psh, him? ur boyfriend?”

at this, todoroki’s ear started to heat up—and no his quirk is not in on this

he does have a crush on u, but he doesn’t know he actually has a crush on u. all he knows is that he admires ur strength and many more traits than he does to anyone else

“whatever, we’re still not done, [name]” sora smirked, his finger seductively tracing your jaw before leaving u two

todoroki obviously sensed the danger, pulling u closer to him

“i’ll walk w u” he stared at u

u two started walking towards the exit of the campus, not bothering to separate ur hands—which is most likely his idea

“uh, thanks...sorry about earlier. i didn’t mean to use u—well i kinda did but he’s creepy”

“okay” he casually said

nearing the exit, u began walking to the opposite direction, only to be stopped when he didn’t seem to let go of ur hand

“i thought u were hungry?” he asked

“no i—well yeah, im hungry but it was also with the pretend part, right? i mean, we aren’t together to go on a date” u chuckled awkwardly, though his face stayed indifferent

“date...? is that so....” he trailed off, looking down in thoughts “then if you’re hungry, we should go on that date”

he’s cluelesssssss

“eh? well sure i guess...?”

“okay”

that’s ur first date. by first date i mean there r following dates

—bakugo

sooo im not sure if this is exactly fake dating but the concept is there,, skshjs i need more ideassss

kinda aged up? i mean u two r on an official mission

he’s the type of person who’s against fake dating shit because it’s “fucking stupid” but honestly, he inwardly don’t mind at all

anyway, the group of villains u two were assigned to catch was in a high official party (a ball of some sort), so obv u attend there

as u two were slowly getting information, leading them where u can easily catch them without getting the civilians’ attention, u heard one of ur enemies’ micro transceiver (walkie talkie microchip things on their ear)

“enemy is wearing a fur coat, has [h/c] hair that’s tied up, and is around [height] feet tall” said the person on the other line

the enemy’s eyes widened, but before he could catch u, u ran towards ur partner, bakugo, and pulled him to one of balconies

“what the hell?!”

“they’re onto us!” u whisper yelled, hiding ur coat somewhere while taking off ur hair tie

u heard footsteps, perhaps they have already found out where u both went

“there’s no time!” u hissed, pushing bakugo on his knee

“OH MY GOD...YES! OF COURSE I’LL MARRY U!” u excitedly chanted

“huh?”

bakugo was about to throw profanities when the enemies entered his peripheral vision

u saw this too, but the enemies seemed like they were still about to pester u two

lmao so u pulled the blond up, laying ur face on the crook of his neck to imitate a make out session

and ur right thigh laid against his hip before u pulled his hand to grab it

his other palm encased ur waist, helping u

u can feel his heartbeat accelerating as ur body rests against his own

and ofccc pda makes people uncomfy

“sir, we lost her” u heard one of the enemies relay before they leave them

ur breath fanned his neck as his ears figuratively burned

“get off, dumbass” though his words were harsh as a sand paper, the way he pulled u away, on the other hand, was gentle as a feather

“u know once the agency learns about this, they’re gonna send your annoying ass with me all the time for fucking missions” he scowled despite actually wanting to have u as his partner

“yeah...probably some fake couple missions”

tags; @mayukhii @innersooya

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shingia · 3 years

Text

✗ HQ BOYS AND THEIR HIDDEN TALENTS ✗

aka the things you’re most likely to discover after a few weeks/months of being around them

-> multi

-> reblogs help a lot !

HINATA : HULA HOOPING FOR AN INDETERMINATE AMOUNT OF TIME

if you ever need some peace and quiet (while studying for example), just ask hinata to show you how good he is at hula hooping and you won’t be bothered for quite some time. he’s so determinate that he won’t stop until you take the hoop back yourself

KAGEYAMA : SHUFFLING CARDS

he’s on some casino type of shit, i’m telling you. he’d riffle shuffle the cards without even trying that hard - and yes, it’s a pretty hot thing to watch. i mean, he has very nice hands 👀

YAMAGUCHI : GUESSING PEOPLE’S ZODIAC SIGNS

you guys were enjoying a nice afternoon in a café and he randomly started to analyze the man ordering at the counter before turning back at you like « definitely a virgo ». he was very embarrassed when you actually went to the man to ask him about his sign tho. but it turned out yamaguchi was right (once again)

TSUKISHIMA : PREDICTING THE END OF A MOVIE

tsukki is the kind of person you don’t want to have by your side when you’re watching a psychological thriller, because no matter what the plot twist is, he’ll guess it halfway through the movie. and no he doesn’t keep it to himself

TANAKA : RAPPING EXTREMELY FAST

he’s the kind of guy who knows how to rap « rap god » and won’t shut up about it. and noya is definitely not helping because he hypes him up every single time. i just know that tanaka actually considered becoming a rapper at some point in his teen years

NOYA : RUNNING WITH HIGH HEELS

don’t ask how he discovered this talent, but it’s here now and for some reason it always comes up at some point during a party. this man can literally sprint in 6 inches stilettos

DAICHI : BEING INSANELY GOOD AT JUST DANCE

don’t get me wrong, he is a terrible dancer. yet he always gets the highest score, even if he’s doing it all wrong. sadly, nobody wants to play with him anymore because it’s very frustrating

SUGA : USING PHOTOSHOP

he knows it can be a pretty useful talent, but he also knows that he hasn’t unlocked its full potential for now. so he just keeps it in the back of his mind, waiting for THE DAY when it’ll really come in handy

ASAHI : FINDING SOMEONE IN A CROWD

you (or anyone else, really) could be lost in a crowd similar to those on black fridays and he would still be able to find you in a split second. you almost suspect him to have a radar of some kind

KUROO : IMITATING THE SINGING OF BIRDS

one time he showed you his talent while you were taking a walk in the park, and you basically got assaulted by every bird around. but kuroo was still very very proud of himself

KENMA : CHOOSING THE FASTEST LINE AT THE SUPERMARKET

i have no explanation for that, i just know that kenma is one of those people who somehow always choose the fastest line, he’s like a lucky charm that you bring grocery shopping with you on busy days

LEV : UNDERSTANDING BABIES

sometimes he even does a better job than the parents of the baby. he can have entire conversations with a toddler, and it lowkey impresses everyone (yaku says it’s because they have the same mental age)

BOKUTO : WINNING AT ROCK PAPER SCISSORS

do i need to explain this more ?? he’s ridiculously good at this game, even though he has absolutely zero strategy or knowledge of mental mechanisms. which is why he uses this talent to make every single decision

AKAASHI : CHUGGING BEER

yup, you heard me. he discovered this when he started attending kind of ‘wilder’ parties after high school. but he rarely uses this talent because he thinks it’s the most useless thing ever

USHIJIMA : GUESSING THE BREED OF ANY CAT OR DOG

he never gets it wrong. tbh he doesn’t even know where all this knowledge about breeds comes from, but now that it’s here, might as well make the most of it, right ?

TENDOU : 👏🏼HE👏🏼CAN👏🏼DO👏🏼THE👏🏼SPLITS👏🏼

he says that he just tried it one day and boom: he touched the floor. but you suspect that he actually trained quite a lot to get there. also, he doesn’t even need to warm up before, just ask and you shall receive immediately

SEMI : REMEMBERING ACTORS IN MOVIES

you know that moment when you’re watching a movie and you just know you’ve already seen this actor somewhere but you can’t remember where ? well no need to ask google, semi always has the answer to your question

ATSUMU : MEMORIZING TV COMMERCIALS

now i know tv commercials always stick with us at least a little bit. but atsumu’s brain is FULL OF THEM. he can repeat literally any commercial with the exact same words, intonation and rhythm (he memorizes the dumbest ones rly easily)

OSAMU : CRYING ON COMMAND

he developed this ability when he was a kid, because he used to go crying to his mom and pretend that atsumu had been mean to him : it was the easiest way to get what he wanted. atsumu definitely feared this talent, to the point that samu only had to threaten to fake-cry to get whatever toy he wanted from his brother

SUNA : IMITATING HANDWRITINGS

he can imitate literally anyone’s handwriting - including celebrities’ autographs - and it’s common knowledge at inarizaki so many students come to him when they need a fake signature or a fake absence note. he may or may not have started to make people pay for his services

KITA : GAMBLING

he is extremely good at bluffing and everyone always underestimates him, which makes it much easier. he never plays with real money tho, but if he did, he would be pretty rich by now

SAKUSA : THE ABSOLUTE BLIND TEST MASTER

he’s not the type of guy that will scream the answer to make sure everyone hears him, but if you pay attention to him during the game you’ll see that he always gets the title and the artist at least thirty seconds before everyone else, even if he keeps it to himself

🏷 taglist : @toworuu @catwithangerissues @miyumiya @livy384 @k0u-minamo2 @fullsundear @hsjvwq @boo-marie @hiraeth-z @velvetvirgos @kohi-zeri @viridevi @kirishimas-manly-eyeliner @geektastic84 @japanesevenom @catb6y

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aleksa-sims · 2 years

Photo

My RL gameplay (18+)

I went to my sister’s room, to ask her if she wanted to come out with Philip & me. Actually, P. wanted to talk to me alone, but I was worried about Ana. 🙁 We talked about her and me too, a bit.

Me: What are you doing here alone? Come out with Philip and me!

Ana: Are you really that fucking dumb? P. wants to be alone with you! He’s mad at you for not treating him like Nico.😒

Me: You’re not distracting now! Why the hell are you not going to school? Even during my most difficult phase, I NEVER skipped school! 😠 😦 🤷‍♀️

Ana: You just didn’t want our parents to find out what a fucking junkie you are. 😒 And your mother exaggerates! I go to school, I just wasn’t in those stupid unnecessary classes. Like: ”Who am I really?” “What are my weaknesses and strengths?” 😠 😠

Me: Why do you react so aggressively, when I ask you these questions?

Ana: Our hysterical mother is driving me crazy! I just don’t know what she wants from me? She’s just so panicked, because of YOU! You did all this shit and now she thinks I’m like you. 😒 And why does she need to know who my boyfriend is? I just don’t want this and she has to accept this, A.! 🤷‍♀️

Me: Then stick to the fucking rules! You’re only 17! 😠

Ana: That's rich, coming from you! 🤨 Who left home at 18 with N!! That’s the only reason our crazy parents are bothering me! But I’m not like that! 😒

Me: I’m sorry, for....this! But Ana! Be a little more understanding! Where does suddenly all this anger come from? 😦

Ana: I’m just pissed because of that fucking academy! Only six months left, I’m out of this fucking school! 😠

Me: Did anyone hurt you? 😟

Ana: They’re telling shit about us! We’re not rich, you know? They’re telling you work as a stripper or hooker now, because Mom & Dad can’t afford to pay for my school.😠 😠......😞 😞

Me: WTF??? But I was NEVER known by anyone in this fucking school!😦

Ana: Just two words! Nico & mass brawl. 😠

Me: Damn! 😞 😞 How long are they gonna talk about this? Ain’t no other shit happening in this damn school?....But please, stop fighting with those fucking snobs about me!!!

Ana: I can’t hear all this shit! I won’t let anyone talk about you or me like that! 😠

Me: I rly don’t care! I will never see those arrogant people in my life again! Pls, just stay out of this shit! I’ll talk to Sam! I know what kind of psychopaths they are & I don’t want you to get hurt because of me! This is just......insane! 😞 🤦‍♀️

Ana: Ok, A.! It’s really not that bad! But that’s why I get so angry sometimes. You know?

Me: Yeah, ok! ....I’m going to talk to Mom about your boyfriend, he’s fine & he really likes you, I saw that last night. 🙂

Ana: WAIT, A.!...I think you should be with Philip! 🙊 😬 JUST with P.! You are much better with him! With Nico you have only stress! Just remember your last fight when I wanted to reconcile you two.

Me: I said to you, I couldn’t live without him. I know! 😕 😔

Ana: Now you see it’s possible! And it’s even much better. You have fun with Philip! He goes out with you and he makes you happy. N. never has time for you. But you don’t like being home alone! You feel locked up by him & you have this feeling to miss something and once you get the chance to go out, you fuck it up! But with P. you are fine A.! 😟

Me: I can’t do this to N.! I still love him & even if not, I just can’t! 😞

Ana: Then finally tell Philip that you fell in love with him! It’s not a nice feeling to be the third wheel. You saw how he felt! You want to treat them both the same, but you don’t!! If you really want to continue this way with N. & P.! Then finally stop playing hide-and-seek! You’re just hurting P. with this!

Me: But it's so hard to express what I feel. I can’t say this to him.

Ana: But you can tell N., that you love him. Why not P.? 🤷‍♀️

Me: No, even with Nico, it’s hard for me. Idk what’s wrong with me? 😟

Ana: Go out with P. now & talk to him. You can do it! I’ll catch up with you later! I love you, sis!

Me: Ok! I love you too, Ana! 😊

Ana: You see? You can! Just try, A.! 🙂 🤷‍♀️

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#ts4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #my rl with my simself #simself #myrlgameplay #18+ content #tw addiction #tw bullying

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gagmebucky · 3 years

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Hi, I just really wanted to rant about something and I don’t really want to talk about it with anyone I know irl so…

My dad is just a normal guy in every sense of the word, good and bad. One thing that’s bothered me for a while now is how I recognized he talks to my mom and while it’s not degrading, it’s just entitled and annoying.

Since my brother and I were born, she quit her job to take care of us so he’s been the one primarily earning money. This arrangement hasn’t put our family in any type of financial jeopardy at all, we live in a nice house in a nice area and his job combined with the money he makes from his previous service in the military makes him around 150k a year. One thing I’d like to note is that he works a normal 8 to 5 job. But for a year or so the majority of his company has switched to a12 hours day so they get a three day weekend every week.

Now I know you may be wondering what money has to do with any of this and I promise that I’ll get to that part I’m just really angry and need to get this all off of my chest.

Anyways, my mom started working again 2-3 years ago at his request and now she works AND does all the stereotypical motherly things (cooks dinner, cleans, any other odd jobs that need to be done around the house)

All the while my mom has been doing this, my dad does his 12 hour days (including lunch in those 12 hours) and he’s allowed to take 10 minute breaks and most often times watch tv in the background while he’s working (he’s been working from home since COVID and doesn’t have any plans to go back since his job is mostly on the computer anyways other than a couple in-person meetings a month)

After my dad is done with work, he basically retires for the night and just watches tv while waiting for mom to serve him whatever food or leftovers she’s put on a plate for him.

Now, I get to the current issue.

My mom doesn’t ask for much or even anything from him in terms of helping her. But there are just some things that make me angry when he says them.

In the past couple of weeks for pretty much the 1st consistent time since March, my dad started walking and exercising again which he does outside or in the garage. My father has naturally oily skin, and even if he didn’t, he is exercising so his skin will be sticky and sweaty! RIGHT!?!?!

However when my mom brought it up a couple days ago she didn’t even say what we both were thinking which was YOU STINK AND ARE THEREFORE MAKING THE HOUSE STINK!!!

Instead, she politely asked if he would take a shower since he worked out and specificied that she was telling him this out of love without even mentioning him stinking up the house or more specifically the kitchen that he was in.

Instead of understanding that exercise makes you sweat and sweat makes you smell, he snarkelly shot back, that he had something to tell her out of love too. And although he trailed off with a cocky laugh, the context of the situation and his numerous past suggestions obviously implied that he was talking about my mom’s weight.

I would like to specify that my mother is not obese or unhealthy, in fact she eats considerably less junk food than he does. And even if she was, it did not prompt my dad making that “joke”.

Now fast forward a few minutes, my mom and I left to go grocery shopping for the food she would make for him without him even having to lift a finger. She ranted to me that him needing to take a shower had nothing to do with her weight. From what she was saying I could tell that she wasn’t that angry about what he said about her weight, but more so about him deflecting the conversation from his smellyness to her (which is something he does often so he doesn’t look like the “bad guy”)

Now to today, my father once again “joked” with my mom when asked if he would honestly like to help her blow dry her hair (I say honestly because she wanted his honest opinion on whether he would like to do it or not, and it was something she never really needs help with but she wanted to spend time with him) he said that he needs to consult the “guy’s handbook” to figure out if that was a trick question. (My father is 55 years old and they’ve been married for 30 something years)

I’m sure there’s a psychological reason why I got so angry at him but I’m not going to settle that I was once again tired that he treated my mom like crap despite her doing everything for him. So I told him that my mom was being serious and it wasn’t a trick question.

I (kinda) knew that he knew this, and was trying to make a joke. But explaining it was my version of the whole “I don’t understand your ‘joke’ please explain it to me” in an attempt to discourage him from making it again.

But in an event that I would have seen coming if I wasn’t so angry, it didn’t work and he instead got mad at me. Recognizing that I could have handled the situation better, I just apologized however I was crying because of his rant that I wasn’t a part of the conversation and shouldn’t have stepped in . (I normally wouldn’t be so sensitive but for some reason it’s like everytime I have a family argument it’s that time of the month so I’m emotionally sensitive)

I retreated back into my room and apparently I wasn’t crying as quietly as I thought I was because be he then knocked on my door, then demanded that I come out and “spend time with him” so he could know what was wrong.

Now, I thought this was code for I’m going to apologize, but no… he literally didn’t understand that his words hurt my feelings and demanded that I tell him what was “really” wrong as if him yelling at me wasn’t a good enough reason to be crying.

After curtly telling him what was wrong in so many words as to not offend him further. He dryly apologized before defending himself and saying that it wasn’t his fault that I got angry and he was just trying to make a joke that he insisted would apparently be funny if I didn’t cut in. Then he dryly promised that he would try to treat my mother nicer and not make as many “jokes” because he can tell how much it affects me.

There is probably more to the story that I forgot to leave out. And I kinda want to know if I’m in the wrong in the situation or not. And reading back over this i am definitely biased but if you can manage to remove the emotion from my words then those are honestly the facts about what happened.

I recognize that I am selfish, he actually told me that one, but looking back over my life I know that I have been rude when “defending” my mom. I put it in quotations because my mom doesn’t need defending and she is more than capable to speaking up when there’s a big problem.

But I just get annoyed at people when they rudely deny her some of the smaller things she requests like help blow drying her hair and things she won’t insist on them helping on. I’d understand if kindly said no thanks or I can’t do it right now, but he just had to joke about it and be curt in his response for no reason.

All in all I’m just so angry that it is impossible for him to acknowledge what he did wrong without defending that actions that make someone sad or angry in the first place.

But anyways, I am extremely sorry for the rant and writing so much and I honestly don’t blame you if you didn’t even read all of this. I just wanted to tell someone and I love how your blog is so open and judgement free and you don’t act like you have all the answers of what is right or wrong but you just give your opinion and help when you can. Thanks so much for listening (reading, really) and I appreciate you so much!

baby, you didn’t do ANYTHING wrong. you are the opposite of selfish — your dad was being a fucking dick to your mom and you stood up for her. you had every right to be angry, and if i were you, i would’ve said some low blow, disrespectful, kick-me-out-of-the-house ass shit.

i think (respectfully) you’re over analyzing yourself to find fault in yourself when it isn’t really there in my opinion. he’s complaining that you’re rude when he was the rude one and you literally just defending your mom. being rude is like “you stinky piece of shit, im gonna fucking drown you in bleach and lets see you make another fuckin comment BITCH”

but you did not do that therefore his argument is invalid. i can only say so much because it’s you in the thick of it but it definitely seems like your dad’s arrogant and entitled personality is so overbearing that it makes you be harder on yourself than you should be. i think, legally, you should get hit him once with a bat, non lethally of course (unless….. haha…?). i just know personally dealing with that personality type can create a LOT of contained anger.

anyway, im rly sorry you have to deal w him. i feel like you have a lot of weight on your shoulders and you seem so sweet and nice and you do not deserve to have to give your energy to that :(

#i would’ve said some vile things i wouldve said things that would make him disown me #i would poured a little rat posion in his drink just enough to make him sick not to like kill yknow #if it isn’t clear I… I have a lot of violent feelings and am a little… insane #ILU AND IM SORRY U HAD TO DEAL W THAT #q answers

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shatouto · 4 years

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i feel like anakin's brain just went to static when he first met danny, ANOTHER sweet. handsome man who looks exactly like his master??? ruined.

that was exACTLY the premise we run off of. every time. like, here’s a rundown of the premises of the 5 rps we’ve done with danny (4 completed; the 5th one is underway) and the quotes of anakin and danny’s first meetings:

- danny is a slave in the outer rim. anakin crash landed on that planet and danny tends to anakin till he awakes.

There’s the sound of shuffling, and movements, and Anakin can feel the man’s presence in the Force so vividly. His signature is uncannily familiar, and so is his voice. And then he sits down and... “Master?” Anakin makes to sit up by reflex only to promptly wince. He’s forced to lay still, shivering while the pain ebbs away. He breathes, and takes a closer look. The man looks exactly like Obi-Wan when he was younger - or Obi-Wan under that beard, really, because Anakin suspects his master hasn’t aged a day since his own knighting.

- right at the end of AOTC, anakin is rejected by padme and in a fit of despair, comes straight to palpatine and falls right there. he’s been vader for a year when palps manages to buy danny as a slave and gives him to anakin as a “gift” but more like a test. (jokes on him, they fall in love)

For all of his lauded perception and ability in using the Force for premonition, he has not expected it to come in the form of this.

The human man is dressed scantily in a way that reveals more than conceals, and certainly insufficient to fend against the cold of space travels. He is leashed, collared, and his mannerism is awfully submissive. Vader can viscerally sense the press of a tracking chip, an explosive device, a catalyst, installed somewhere in this man’s flesh. It’s a buried memory he does not want to excavate.

Most of all, the man looks identical to Obi-Wan Kenobi.

For a moment Vader’s mind has stuttered - just briefly, before he regains composure and examines the man’s signature. Very similar, but this is not Kenobi. Relief courses through him before he could analyze it. There is no time to dwell on the sentiment. His master is waiting for due gratitude.

- a modern fantasy au in which vampires qui-gon (born in the middle ages) and obi-wan (born 1886) adopt 9yo human child anakin who lost his mom. anakin grows up, goes to college in a different city, and comes across danny (who’s also immortal bc he’s a witch).

"Sorry! Sorry, I wasn't looking." Anakin says, stumbling back. Without thinking, he reaches up to stabilize the person by the shoulders. And then he looks up, and—

"Master?" Anakin blurts, a little too loudly. No, wait, that's not him. He's clean shaven... But what the hell: pale, kind eyes; hair auburn in the sunless afternoon - he looks exactly like Obi-Wan otherwise.

Shit, does he have a kid?

- danny is kidnapped by a bunch of pirates who think he’s obi-wan. they torture him and send a holovid to the council, demanding ransom. obi-wan and anakin engage on a rescue mission. here’s when they first watch the holovid:

Anakin’s stomach gives a vicious lurch. He‘s taken a small step forward without even realizing, hand latching onto Obi-Wan’s forearm in a vise-tight grip. He’s no stranger to seeing decimated bodies and flogging wounds, ever since he was four. But that... that’s Obi-Wan’s face. Even when washed in blue, it is unmistakably his master, from the downsloped crease of his hooded eyelids to the mole in the middle of his right cheekbone. Whoever that is - a clone, a transfigured person, an animated puppet, - he looks the way Obi-Wan does when he exits a battle worn and wounded. Anakin feels sick to the point of vertigo, even though Obi-Wan is standing right next to him in flesh and bone, hand warm under layers of robes, solid in his grip.

“We have to rescue him,” Anakin blurts, at once. “I don’t ca— It matters not who he is.”

- obi-wan, age 14, has horrible nightmares of the overlook (yes it still exists; we keep all of danny’s shine power and just make it Force-related stuff). qui-gon brings him to stewjon and they discover danny there, alone and orphaned. danny’s too old to be a jedi so qui-gon asks dooku to help out and dooku gives him some lite-training. the kenobi twins don’t rly grow up together but remain close. Fast forward to around the time of TPM, danny becomes a healer at the temple. here’s his and baby anakin’s first meeting:

Anakin does know that he’s really sick of the infirmary.

It’s not that the healers are unkind; they’re okay, they’re a lot nicer than the people he’s grown up around. It’s the infirmary itself, and the smell of bacta, and the beeping of monitors, and all the steely instruments that makes it really cold here. Not cold like the air is cold, just... cold, in the feeling. And nobody really talks to him. They’re too busy, he knows, so he can’t bother them, but he really, really wants to see Obi-Wan maybe, because he doesn’t know anyone else here—

Oh, there he is!

“Obi-Wan?” He perks up in his bed. The other healer circles around the bed, and Anakin leans forward. “Hello! How are you? Are you okay?”

“Oh, no, I’m not Obi-Wan,” the man says, holding out his hand. “I’m his brother, Danny. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Anakin.”

Anakin’s eyes widen. “He has a brother? Wow... You look just like him!” He takes Danny’s hand with both of his own and gives it a hearty shake. “Nice to meet you too.”

actually we have a 6th rp with danny but it’s a... modern au where anakin is a cat so it’s kinda different lmao none of that first meeting stuff here. but YEAH, like, dammit. it’s great, i adore each and every single iteration of danakin first meetings and i could write that shit over and over again

#anon #ask #danno kenobi #anakin skywalker

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nbapprentice · 4 years

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You said a while back that while Supergiant games (Bastion, Transistor, Hades) was mostly okay, you had some words about them. I was curious as to what those words were, since Hades' full release is soon.

okay. alright. ive been playing hades lately so i definitely want to give my two cents (or dollars by the size this is gonna get). but let’s go Step by Step

the good: i want to throw a whole Endorsement over supergiant games with the art direction and its characters, which is what keeps me coming back again and again, and what i can assume is that most people are attracted to.

gameplaywise, they have a Format they stick to which has become their staple, not to their detriment but to their advantage, like... gameplay tropes, so to speak, that they stick to (such as the addition of special conditions that give a disadvantage in exchange for more long-term rewards)

i fucking adore that they take one concept per game, go for it, and when they’re done they are Done; they don’t bother with sequels, they don’t want to run things to the ground and i fucking respect that. They have their themes, and they stick to them (to various degrees of success).

that said, like every piece of media, they are not perfect and this has to be analysed and spoken about

CONTENT WARNINGS: genocide and ethnic cleansing, antisemitism, misogyny, homophobia, suicide, and mentions of incest, and a general Spoilers warning

bastion: touches on ethnic cleansing, and not in a way i’d say is satisfactory. our narrator and one of our Sympathetic characters is one of the men who worked on a world-ending weapon meant to use against the Ura (a group of people coded as East Asian) which after a bit of googling is literally called “the final solution” if there was ever a war between the Ura and the Cael (who feel like rly tan white people to me). jesus fucking CHRIST.

we also meet more Ura other than our two named characters and we have to kill most of them. so that fucking blows.

the game tries for “being a genocidal monster will get you fucked up and blown up” which duh, but i feel we shouldn’t have had a person responsible for war crimes be one of our friends no matter how bad he feels about the whole thing, or the people victim of war crimes become villains in the latter half of the game. zia’s father could’ve taken ruck’s role ez pz.

transistor: the weakest of their games, imo; the lore and writing are fairly flimsy and i did not come out feeling Satisfied, especially because it had this rly good build-up that did not pay off. not to mention... their villains? 3/4 were gay people. lol. two married guys (not even explicit, you only realize by their shared last names) and the ps*cho lesbian trope (iirc she wanted to kill the protagonist’s lover or something). the female protagonist also ends up killing herself to live forever in a digital paradise with her dead lover. it’s. god.

very Aesthetic, GORGEOUS music, interesting gameplay; had potential, i do not feel like it lived up to it at least as far as the story goes.

pyre: now this one. this one’s BEEFY. where transistor felt flimsy, pyre is rich; lots to sink your teeth into, rich in lore and loveable characters, again w the beautiful music, themes of cooperation and togetherness. my favorite of the cast is volfred sandalwood, the only Black (or, well, Black-coded) revolutionary i’ve ever seen portrayed with this amount of sympathy.

onto the bad: they literally have a Class of character named “Savage”; there’s the “mystical mentally ill person” trope; there is an overwhelming amount of explicit m/f pairs (one of them being. a romance that formed in a single day and then both of the characters were somehow willing to risk it all for each other? PLEASE) while the only hints of gayness are... hints. especially when Jodariel (another of my favs) is teased to have feelings for the player regardless of gender then only gets an ending with a male character with whom she has nothing in common 🙃

hades: and now. this one. music: gorgeous. character designs: spectacular (aphrodite is straight up naked but it’s so... natural and casual, it doesn’t feel sexualized at all). voice acting amazing. character interactions charming and endearing. as a greek mythology nerd, it was nice to see them go for the obscure shit like Zagreus at all, NOT portray Persephone and Hades as a loving couple, AND portrayed the gods as the bunch of petty assholes (some more benevolent than others) that they are. imo they’re too generous with their portrayal of achilles but i’ll allow it.

and finally... it seems all those criticisms about having all the gay characters hidden in the shadows paid off, cuz we got (aside of patroclus and achilles) a bisexual polyamorous protag. Holy Shit! and it’s not even playersexual, romance whomever you want shit without the routes recognizing each other: he explicitly talks about how he’s thinking abt them both (though it’s like “yeah usually mortals take one lover but gods love many huh” polyamory is a human thing too bro!!!!!)

and this is where it all goes, well, at least vaguely downhill lol. ok so the incest warning i gave up there? well. it’s not... outright incestuous. but it has some ugly implications. i want to emphasize: the characters never refer to each other as siblings, nor do they treat each other as such (thanatos, in fact, only recognizes hypnos as his brother, and megaera only sees the other furies as her sisters), but they were all raised by the same woman, Nyx... zagreus and thanatos even grew up together (im assuming megaera didnt meet zagreus until he was fully grown).

this is complicated even worse by the fact that they tried to trick zagreus into believing Nyx was his mother. he realized pretty early on this was not true but like... adoptive mothers, anyone? granted i can believe that bc of the attempt at deception that probably ruptured any attempt at actual familial closeness, and it’s not like hypnos and thanatos saw zagreus as their brother at any point, so they were p much aware of the truth too. with the fact that thanatos even looks like goth miles edgeworth (im not kidding you can google him up right now its literally edgeworth in a cowl) i rly feel they were aiming for Childhood Friend Anime Rival Man than the “surprise kiss bc ur not actually related <3″ shit. zagreus never once refers to nyx as his mother in-game, and also refers to thanatos and hypnos as her sons, never his brothers.

so yeah, like. if one’s feeling generous, zagreus and thanatos are more of a “my father is emotionally closed off and neglects me so my best friend’s mother basically raised me” kind of situation... just pulled off in, perhaps, the worst way possible (why didnt they just say Zagreus was told Hekate was his mom, that’s such an easy fix? or that he was born of nobody other than Hades??? [gestures at athena])

but then, the gods. aaaaaaaahhhhahahahh the gods. demeter shows up! and she calls zeus, hades and poseidon... her foster-brothers. which somehow would make the persephone thing less fucking awful, apparently. they really. really really did not need to do that. she could’ve just said “my fellow gods” or whatever. or my “god-brothers” or something, to pretend it was just a weird god alliance thing??? i dont know but implying that foster family isn’t family is just... bro, the dynamics still exist.

Don’t Like That.

i even contacted supergiant games over this. they reassured me they were even trying to avoid the incest of the original myths bc they didn’t want to mess with such a heavy theme. i believe them... but i really think they didn’t think this through. compared to something like fire emblem fates this is nearly benign, but the implications don’t look good :/

tl;dr of the tl;drs: i admire their artistic philosophy and the heavy emphasis on fresh gameplay, characters and their relationships; i appreciate that it seems that they listen to criticism?; i don’t appreciate that they didn’t think to at LEAST talk to adoptees when making a game about family.

#Anonymous #asks #mod nba #supergiant #supergiant games #bastion #transistor #hades #pyre

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unproduciblesmackdown · 5 years

Photo

@uberoll-oystercrackers late night (early morning?) posting here but this is super nice ty and also again retroactively thank you additionally for all the long replies & kind tags you give

like really yeah it’s like, on the one hand, it’s fairly sucky having to have this thing where im always jumping the gun on considering someone Maybe An Friend and then having to remind myself / be reminded of the fact that like no probably not, which is true and yet sucks, which is just how some stuff is!! like sometimes stuff just is Not Good and is not ever going to Not Hurt, despite the fact you can kinda get better at living with it. and like this one isnt a huge deal even tho the larger problem of when ur like, lonely &/or isolated is kind of a whole real deal……

like it’s strange having these contradictory problems with it…..like, Being Myself has never really just been something i can Naturally do, so even just trying to be nice is like oh lord am i being ~manipulative~, and im always too prone to treat interactions like ive got to placate the other person, and then also just like….not having amazing social skills anyways in the sense that i know a lot of times i come across ~off~ to people and can’t really do a lot about that, but also, i feel like i’m always overcompensating for like, enthusiasm and just the fact i like to Get Silly and maybe i’ll act too cool~n~collected or come off like im trying to be all Smart and Smarmy and like jeez no……it doesnt help that when i was younger i generally preferred interacting with adults and so probably was trying to come across as clever and when i was wanting someone to like me i’d be real nervous and try to go too hard in seeming the opposite lol……oh the legacy of the time i found out my mom’s childhood friend who was funny and cool to us thought i was bookish (true) but like also snobby or something lmao like ah jeez i probably made too many sarcastic jokes about things….but oh well i was just like 10-ish at the time.

anyways tho i feel like that still kicks in and when i get the sense someone is cool and it’d be cool if they thought i was cool too i’m like Well So Then i gotta PLAY it cool!! and then like oh no am i coming across as a jerk? or an trying-to-be-an-intellectual?? i always have a lot of thoughts and i do go off when its like, also tied in to Opinions of mine, so im like, oh no am i coming across as trying to tell someone i think they should think exactly this?? or if i try to Be Witty and Tell Jokes are they just coming off as snarky b/c i hope not especially since a lot of times my actual Lighthearted Snark gets read as “i hate this and think its dumb af” lol. ahhhh i just do not know!! like, i wanna sort of dial back my Warmth b/c i can get enthused fast and i have a tendency to get too attached to ppl too fast, which really only sucks for me, but still!! yet i dont wanna rein it in too much and try to overcompensate and come off like im Eternally Unimpressed and don’t really care and etc etc and just…..idk its wild it’s hard to tell how i may be socializing awkwardly lmao ahhh….and on top of it all, i manage to be godawful at realizing when other ppl actually like me. like, that sort of sounds like The Opposite but i guess its just more of that problem of thinking that im going to always bother people….a lot of times it takes me like, months or a year (or two or three) to realize that someone who willingly interacts w me during that time probably does genuinely like me and is maybe a friend. wrow

uhhhh anyways lord that was all just. tangentially related. im Tangents

UH more to the point!!!! the good news is that yeah i don’t have to think “oh we’re totally real bffs” about anyone to really enjoy and appreciate Our Interactions…..and like i do have real appreciation and gratitude for basically all nice attention lol like, if a single reblog of smthing has kind comments, if someone cool just Likes a few posts, talking on occasion or like, ever at all. cuz for real The Little Stuff has always been a really good thing for years now, especially since there’s been plenty of times i havent really had anything happening In Person that was like….good interactions or ppl who were able to hear my actual thoughts and feelings about whatever and still be interested in interacting with me. cuz in terms of not being isolated and in what i find it easy to talk about and how, Online Interactions have been genuinely important and impactful in a positive way for like a solid decade now since i was able to be consistently Online and have my own accounts and stuff in the first place

so like yeah totally i really do appreciate stuff like that. i think its pretty incredible whenever anybody just like, thinks of me, and likes me. having None Of That Feeling is supremely trash and i so appreciate that i don’t have to feel like there’s nothing and that nobody out there in the world is aware of me, and yet i don’t need it to be that like, anyone is Constantly aware of me and like, intensely invested, cuz that’s just not how it goes lol and even kinda meaning a little bit to someone and having my tiny presence in their life be a positive one is a great thought and i really do appreciate it. Unfortunately for like….my entire life, The Contempt Of Others has been a consistent #thing i’m dealing with and it’s not great!! like yeah fortunately ive had the “felt so bad about myself that it eventually circled back around and now self loathing isnt too much of an issue for me” thing, but it still sucks experiencing it lol…..having any testimonials that like, whatever shit im talking about @ myself is fun to read, or i seem okay, or its fun to talk, etc etc, like thats fantastic really

and the kinds of leaf thoughts too, yeah, that kind of thing is nice to know too lol. i was hoping you were ok like, ten hours before i saw you posting again lol…..we’re out here……..

like yeah ldmbgglh whatever my weird problems are with being overexcited abt any Potential Friendship, and also being bad at realizing if people do like me, and also just being Weird and not great at talking, and overcompensating for whatever and maybe coming across too Coldly when rly im a fiery dumbass, wanting friends but also wanting not to be burned by getting ahead of things and being reminded that most ppl aren’t like, as starved for even just friendly interactions……..i’m better at navigating and handling it in some ways but c’est a m’ess!!! aaaggbfg

really what im trying to say is i do appreciate that sort of thing a lot yeah. i could very well Not be thought of by anybody and that would suck and the fact that i get to know that i am is a really great thing. maybe i couldve said this all better last night cuz i was kinda in my feelings abt Life a little but then also it was in a sort of déspresso way so, maybe this is okay lol….

also i worry i don’t express affection and appreciation enough!!! it’s not that i’m like Oh i don’t want to Commit to Being Friends ew…..it’s that i don’t wanna be the one pressuring someone else into being like uh oh i have to play up being invested in milo!! but then maybe my playing-it-cool just makes other ppl do the same thing or think i don’t care or something. like oh i appreciate this person a ton and think they’re great and they’ve been kind to me but if we only talk so often and obviously im not There for them and involved in their life in the way a ~real friend~ would be, maybe it would just ring hollow to say i love them, for example. lord lol……. it’s all “oh don’t dial down your kindness and affection” and yet also “but don’t wanna inadvertently push other people or Be Weird or get myself invested in something where i don’t mean as much to the other person not cuz they suck but because like, of course im just a fun internet acquaintance, which is fine!!” ahhhhhh the challenges. anyways!!!!!!!

the point is well i do like ppl yeah and i really appreciate ppl liking me. every now and then they do it online or even in person and thats just a Joy and i wish things were more secure!!! i also have to not even necessarily want ppl to get invested in me in case things go to shit too soon or whatever and it doesnt help that ~being open~ means talking abt depressingass stuff sometimes that like, i don’t mind being open about, but i also don’t want to put on other ppl. which, sidenote on that, im feeling relatively alright all these recent months even if im not technically thriving; it’s okay. it’s a hot mess! but that’s just How It Is sometimes!! it’s what it is. and ive had support from ppl in big and small ways that i know i could have had to go without and all the ways ppl are nice to me count for a whole lot and i have appreciated it, and do appreciate it, and will continue to appreciate it.

tldr 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

#7:05am who up!! im nocturnal. im a vampire. a cool vampire. jk not sexy enough #unsexy vampire rights!!!#unsexy nocturnal me getting reckless and saying into the mic: Hey. I Love Y’all. Yeehaw

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macbookpro-hard-drive · 6 years

Note

HI HOW DO YOU WRITE CHARACTERS

hewwo! i can answer this! im literally gonna do a quick list of both deh and bmc characters for u under this readmore! :D

im gonna start with deh because smaller cast!

evan:

isn’t so much stuttery as he tends to repeat things and uh stammer a bit here and there. stutters over his words sometimes but it’s more l-like this and uh, like… like this

evan hansen has anxiety. he is not anxiety. evan hansen fucks up and makes mistakes and probably internalizes a lot of things. very polite when in public but he can be a bit snappy (as seen w evans comment abt how zoe’s parents have never been poor i believe? it was something he said to zoe)

soft spoken, most of the time. probably not the kind of guy to vocally ask for things until he’s at a comfortable enough point that he feels like he’s not bothering you (same buddy)

i see evan as someone who gets frustrated with himself easily. not as a sense of “god i wish i were normal” but more of a “i should be able to do this, why cant i do this, i want to do this but i cant” because sometimes it’s just a matter of i literally cant do this and i dont know why? and god its so frustrating sometimes

jared:

jared kleinman is a fucking asshole and he knows it. very sarcastic and uses it to cover up his own insecurities, probably the kind of dude who laughs in your face when you tell him off when internally he’s just OH FUCK OH SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK

a lot of ppl write jared as being insecure abt his weight and tbh i don’t see that being a problem for him? i see jared as being insecure abt the fact he comes off very snarky and assholeish but he turns it around and tries to own it even though… that’s not something you want to be proud of? and he knows that

not the kind of dude who stops to assess his feelings. he powers through shit and insists he’s okay until he’s out of steam. i think it was psy who said he’s a “needs therapy boi” and tbh she’s right?

can be very passive aggressive imo it’s something he really needs to work on.

arrogant, sarcastic, and just a big fucking dick who needs to learn how to watch his mouth.

zoe:

not an pure baby angel, by any means. we’re at a disadvantage because we only see zoe when she’s sort of grieving (because grief can and will come in different ways, and while i see her as not missing connor, i do think that her pushing away her feelings is a form of her grieving imo? it’s a weird thing to explain but there’s a part of zoe that does miss (the old) connor’s presence as w the fake emails evan “gave her her brother back” (albeit a very fake version of connor) and sort of standoffish when it comes to the subject of connor

a bit of an ambivert. extremely outgoing when she’s around her friends or when it comes to music and other things she loves.

very individualistic! her style tends to have doodles on her clothes, she dyes her hair a lot, she probably would be the kind of person to make her own jewelry!

very sweet. the castng call for zoe describes her as being the kind of person who learns the names of the kids who sit alone at lunch and thats she goes out of her way to be nice to people since. connor. yeah.

thats all ive got for zoe but u can always send questions in and i can say yes or no after i ask my pals too

alana:

smart gal! valedictorian! president! i love her! tends to overshare a bit. anxiety + depression gal.

probably into gardening tbh? i can see alana having succulents in her room and maybe a dog that just chills with her.

dont be afraid to make alana mouthy. alana is someone whos extremely headstrong in her actions imo and does what she believes is right, even if others dont believe that. like… think about the fact that she literally published what was believed to be connor’s suicide note because she thought it’d get them the last bit of help they needed for the orchard. it literally fucked the murphys over - but she never considered that?

very much an extrovert. just really wants to belong, man. very optimistic on the surface but i can see her being a little less so underneath. she looks on the bright side because if she doesnt, she doesnt know who will and idk i dont think alana’s the kind of person who just... lets that risk be there.

connor:

we dont kno much abt connor in canon but uhhh…. i can see connor as being a loner, sort of aggressive by accident (tbh this dude’s probably used to people being a dick to him so he’s just sorta standoffish in response) but like… whenever i write connor i usually write him as getting better? he’s gotten the help he needs and he’s doin better

artsy depressed dude. poetry, painting, ect - whatever u want tbh. i just see connor, with help, finding himself in art or something creative (theatre and music included! u do u!)

very much a reader. this dude both has a lot of books on his bookshelf and a lot more books he hasnt fucking read because hes terrible at reading new books. (i personally hc he loves all of poe’s work)

to sorta sum connor up: bold, but not outgoing. caring, but not obvious with it (once he gets help btw). easily angered but sometimes he just doesn’t fucking know why and that frustrates him further. troubled.

honestly if u want to see one of my fave connors - check out @ask-sincerely-memes! i rly love how they portray all three of the boys, but connor is by far my favorite! (mod con and/or mod ev if u read this i love u)

OK ONTO THE BMC FUCKERS if you want to kno abt the adults for either show then feel free to ask

jeremy:

anxiety boy, but not evan hansen level of anxiety. more just… self deprecating, not super confident in himself, probably underestimates himself a lot.

jeremys hard to explain sometimes because a lot of his actions and dialogue comes naturally since i can actually relate to jeremy a lot, personality-wise? a really good fact to throw out there is i don’t think jeremy’s the kind of guy who just goes for stuff sometimes. he has to sorta be hyped up by others imo. michael motivated him to sign up for the play, rich and michael both played parts in getting him squipped (michael in the aspect of “lets check this out and see if its legit” bc i doubt jeremy would have genuinely done that on his own).

which really means jeremy isnt the kind of guy to just… confess things, unless it’s built up enough (i.e. jeremys confrontation w reader in unlonely since it was a conversation he’d been thinking about for a bit). in canon, he didnt really… confess to christine without the help of alcohol (at the halloween party) or without other people building him up (voices in my head).

im literally rereading jeremy fics rn because im trying to come up with a good way of describing him

extremely horny teenage boy. hormones suck. for anyone who writes nsfw: i dont see jeremy being incredibly kinky and sexual and dominant (god forbid) his first fucking time having sex. especially if its both him and the readers first time. sex can be clumsy. you can laugh during sex. but also sex smells. like… once you’ve smelled it, you fucking know it - its just a weird combo of sweat and bodily fluids.

that last part was just a PSA for ppl.

lightweight boy. a lot bolder when drunk. thank you.

honestly if u have any questions abt jeremy, i can try to answer them more specifically but this is as general as i can get.

michael

not an uwu anxious depressed innocent baby boy uwu. remember that michael literally withheld the mtn dew red from jeremy because he wanted an apology. remember that michael wouldnt have been squipped because michael had been completely comfortable with who he is. michael likes his place. he doesn’t want to be cool and popular - he likes who he is. michael in the bathroom was a peak moment of michael finally letting go of emotions he’d been withholding - jeremy calling him a “loser” was the final straw that broke him. thank u this has been a psa.

a goofy boy. probably snorts when he laughs and im not projecting there what are you talking about-

okay, canonically: likes video games, likes retro shit (probably the kind of nerd who LIVES for arcades and record stores and vintage clothing stores even if he doesnt mix that into his personal style), very into music. there’s a lot you can do with this!

imo he’s very caring? like. okay, yes he did withhold mtn dew red from jeremy - but michael still went through the trouble of finding and obtaining that in order to deactivate the squip. i think michael’s a fairly understanding dude, even if he has moments of anger.

just a very warm person. probably the kind of person who stops and makes sure people are okay when he notices they’re upset.

sometimes impulsive. sometimes very restless, imo. bouncy boy.

like w jeremy - you can absolutely send me questions abt michael (or anyone tbh!) and i’ll answer them the best i can! im by no means an expert but ive got pals i can bother in order to help get a solid answer :3

christine

chriiistiiiiiiiiine, the love of my life. a gal w ADD! please don’t forget that! i personally hc that she got into a theatre as a way of like… sort of getting energy out since she’s fairly restless??? track girl christine….. also good

loves herself a lot tbh! like. in the show, its canon that she has stuff to figure out but i personally think christine loves herself and her body and is proud of who she is?

very friendly, very open, very passionate abt theatre! these are basic facts lmao

very sweet! very smart! she’s like... The Girl in all the movies that everyones like “oh no i love her” bc shes just a bubbly gal

writing christine is really hard to describe sometimes. like with all the characters, i write what feels right and sounds right to me and to others.

but like... to be honest, as long as you stay a bit happy and supportive and loving with christine - you’re on the right track.

jake

god - one of my favorite boys to write sometimes because there’s a lot to do with jake’s character

he’s the ultimate cool dude in high school. probably the kind of dude who would join a frat in college. handsome, popular, flirtatious - you fucking name it man.

sorta effortlessly popular and cool. there’s problems underneath - considering his family - but it’s hard to see that he has flaws when everything just comes so easily to him.

a very caring and sweet dude tbh. his friends mean a lot to him and he’s the kind of boy who carries your books and asks where you’re going and how you’re doing

he makes mistakes. he gets aggressive and protective and just angry physically - he did try to attack jeremy, albeit drunk, based purely on the idea that jeremy was having sex w chloe - so like... that’s a good thing to acknowledge

i said hes flirtatious and he is - without realizing it. someone probably has called him out on it and he’s like “sorry what?” bc he was caught up in talking to someone and not realizing that the dillinger charm never went off. because it never goes off. rip.

rich

GOD, my FAVORITE BOY, the LOVE OF MY LIFE, i love him.

squipped: aggressive. a bully. stinky. 0/10.

post-squipcident: getting better. sorta numb at first before happy, outgoing rich resurfaces because He’s Fine! Do Not Worry! but y’know like... he definitely has a lot of problems with what he did and who he was while he had the squip

a bit sensitive imo. easily upset on certain topics, easily angered on others. really misses his mom (i hc she died and his dad took up drinking as a coping mechanism and its mainly rich and his older brother relying on each other but thats just me tbh.)

rich is tricky to write when it comes to his home life. while i see rich’s dad as being a loud drunk, others see him as being physically abusive and so forth and - okay, that’s your decision, but please make sure you’re being respectful and you post trigger warnings because some people are in abusive homes and it’s not a fun thing to read.

great sense of humor imo. flirtatious but in the more obvious “haha hey lets bone ;)” way. alternatively: flirtatious with squip, floundering a bit without it because all he knows is “haha hey wanna fuck”

would probably fight a dick for his pals. rly just loves his friends even if he doesn’t show it.

chloe

chloe is a bit hard to write without saying “shes kind of a bitch” but like... she is and she knows it and she fucking owns it.

casting call: “ confident, crass, sexy, manipulative, and downright mean at times”

so like. she’s nowhere near bein a sweet angel baby uwu

has problems. explore them. she literally was down to fuck brooke’s boyfriend since jeremy was dating brooke yknow. part of it could be alcohol but like... dont ignore that fact. like. she probs needs to talk to both brooke and jeremy.

i think of chloe as someone who can see the potential in others tbh. gets slightly annoyed when people arent achieving what they could - but i like to imagine she gets it after a while since some ppl dont have confidence and such.

yknow the kind of people that take charge when the situation calls for it? that’s chloe. she’s very much a leader. cunning, ambitious - she’s fucking ready.

brooke

more of an angel i guess? sweet, a bit insecure, and a little more caring. not very dominant in situations - tends to be more of a follower (as shown w her and chloe’s friendship)

very caring actually. she literally followed jeremy out and said “uhhh he was kind of a dick to women but i know u like eminem” upon his death in the show??? like??? she literally went to check on this boy.

imo she sorta needs to learn to be bolder. to not take shit. shes probably the kind of person who says yes to a lot of things even if they’re conflicting bc she doesn’t want to like... bother someone and make things worse

emotional, imo. fairly feminine.

its hard to keep describing sdfkjhds sorry

jenna

not popular. remember that she wanted people to be interested in her, which is why she gossips a lot

probably tends to overhear half of the gossip. other than that, i can see her easily finding shit out bc she has eyes Everywhere

bold, fairly extroverted, probably really fucking smart tbh. give her love. she deserves it.

thats both at me and everyone else. jenna rolan ily...

very much a big sister figure, post-squipcident. theres this kdrama i was watching where the main protag lives w a couple other girls and one of the oldest one of the bunch is very much a big sister figure that will call other people out on their bullshit because she knows protag isnt the kind of person to do that? thats jenna. and chloe, but mostly jenna.

probably the kind of person who wants to be helpful imo. she likes feeling useful.

#Anonymous #asks

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souljournaler · 3 years

Text

shadow check-in

here's some notes from checking in with my shadow. they've been a bit loud lately, & it's starting to become distracting. this is our conversation. I'm blue, shadow is red

whoa hey that's a lot of space you're taking up in here

and whose fault is that?

yeah ok well there's a lot of stuff happening right now in the world thats stressful

yeah well u can't save everyone

I'm not trying to save everyone

sure jan

so what's up? you seem to need my attention a bit more right now

you can't just pop in to say hi?

I'm literally doing that right now actually

ok ok ok so listen listen

fuck you

please tell me what's up

(career doubts due to feelings of personal inadequacy) & (fear of f*sc*st p*l*ce st*te)

idk why you even bother with a career, the collapse of the empire is coming. besides, no one wants your advice, & you've got no other skills. why would people keep you around when everything is going to shit? especially when u benefited from oppressive systems for so long & even strived for a seat at their table? do you even deserve to stay around?

man you know like most of that isn't true, but do i hear you're afraid of being abandoned by people you love who you've put a lot of energy into building relationships with. why do you think they'd abandon you? we have lots of cool friends who have stayed around they all the hard times.

no YOU have friends that love YOU. and theyre only going to stay until things get TOO bad, and then theyll decide we're a lost cause. especially when they see me

we're the same person mate. & the lads have seen you. & theyre still around

most ppl leave though

and plenty will. it sux but it is what it is. you of all people know better than anyone we can't please everyone, where's that energy now?

ok ok shut up fuck you, i get it

ok i have a question for you now

ya?

why are you afraid that something is gonna take over that we can't control?

cuz it might make me do something that scares other people, & you'd never let me hear the end of it if that happened. you'd probably even tell me it was our fault.

lol thats true. you already scare people enough without being hijacked by a scary entity though, so what's the problem?

LOL thats true. i wouldn't want to accidentally hurt someone though

again, you already do that without being hijacked

fuck ok yeah ig thats tru. i just would rather have my wits about me if I'm gonna do something stupid.

i feel like not being conscious or fully in control of your actions is probably a good excuse though if something were to happen

dude

why not

dude. autonomy

so you'd rather actually choose to hurt someone while fully present for your mistake?

that's kind of warped. is it a choice if it's an accident?

hm. guess not. is it really an accident if you choose to do the thing that caused it?

i think you just answered your question

so you'd channel again? full shift?

I'd like to. i don't really have an occasion though

you don't really need an occasion

i feel like i need an occasion

why

...

you could just be chilling

who would i even channel?

you could channel me 😈

i could. what would you have us do?

[redacted]

ok see, that is exactly why im afraid of full shift channeling, cuz you might do some shit like that!

I'm just kidding! unless...?

no. no [redacted] yet

yet!!!

yet. see this is why i have to rely on our higher self so much

i actually think [redacted] is a good idea if you're trying to [redacted]

please don't, that's really not helping right now

right right, ok, bye

bye

bye bitch

so you're afraid that whatever spirit we channel is gonna exploit my energy to make you do stupid shit?

yes

lol, again, u dont need me to do stupid shit, you'll do that all on your own

thanks

i just mean, the fear is pointless. at the very least, you don't have to be afraid of me, specifically, making you do stupid shit. you stop me all the time, even when our state of consciousness is hella altered. i TRY to get you to do stupid shit while we're out of it. sometimes i succeed, but if we end up too fucked up, even when you're literally unconscious, you know who steps in every time?

higher self?

higher self. remember that time we were drugged?

yes. i mean no. but yes

the driver's seat was wide open then. & higher self stepped in to protect us

that's nice of them

yes. "nice." 😬 anyway i can't rly answer for other spirits outside of us, since i still always have u falling for my bullshit (lol btw. you have GOT to stop doing that, or keep doing it, idc) but i think we're stronger than you give us credit for. between me & higher self, we wouldn't let anything happen to us. you need to trust us more.

ok. that's actually really nice, shadow. thanks

yeah, you know, it's just true, ok? you don't have to thank me for stating a fact

shadow you know you can just take the compliment right?

fuck you. anyway just, if you wanna channel, just do it

but ppl might think im weird & crazy!

ppl literally already think you're weird & crazy, get over it

you know we care a lot about what ppl think.

no. we don't. we care about someone sending cops after us.

ok true. what do you say about that tho?

easy, don't talk to cops

yes bc that's SO easy in these united states of america

ok ok, i hear you. so let's think, what IF the cops came to get us for channeling? all someone would have to do is claim you're violent or a danger to urself & others, then what? death by cop?

that's the fear, yup

what, so you're afraid of being murdered by a cop?

yes

hm. well, i would just [redacted] in that case

which would probably get us killed faster, actually

maybe! ok probably. what if they took us though? what would happen then?

probably a mandatory 72 hours, maybe longer if they wanted to keep us locked up

& we've gotten thru that before, right?

right. it's worse now though than when we were a teen

what are you afraid of there? other than being held against our will longer than the mandatory 72 hours, of course

you know, same shit grandma went thru. sedation, r*pe, & shock "therapy"

why would they do that to us though?

idk, i might not be able to mask that long & have a meltdown or smth. also not much we could do if one of the employees was a r*pist.

ok yeah that would suck. how likely is that actually, though? or are you just scared because of confirmation bias?

probably confirmation bias.

ok well then maybe realize that's not a likely enough scenario for u to spend so much energy on a block of fear like that. we don't need it right now. if it ever becomes useful, it'll still be here for one of us to put it back. but for now, what do you want to do?

i want to be able to channel again, full shift

ok then. I'll hang onto this block until we need it, if ever. ok?

thanks. i know you & higher self will keep me safe

yeah, whatever. you'd better.

ok im a bit tuckered out from that. good convo though, i think

toodles

Sol

#journal #shadow work #channeling

0 notes

quercussp · 6 years

Text

Thank you everyone who responded to my shave/don’t shave question. I asked because I was interested in how common it is for people to shave in general, how different people feel depending on their gender and what reasons people have. The overwhelming majority of people who answered me identified as female and shaved either their legs or their pits, or both. I’m going to compile all the answers I got under the cut, except the ones I was asked not to publish, but it’s only fair if I also answer the questions:

1) I identify as female 2) I don’t shave my pits or my legs, and haven’t for several years now. About once every couple months I trim the hair to be about 0.5 cm, but I never shave them completely. 3) As for my reasons: I prefer not to do anything if it’s not necessary, and it’s extra time and money, so since I don’t find it necessary, I don’t do it. Also it hurts my skin and I don’t find smooth skin more esthetically or otherwise appealing. On the contrary, I find body hair very beautiful on a woman. However, I realize that all this comes from a position of privilege: my job and my family/partner do not put any pressure on me to do it. I also already feel like I don’t confine to social norms (I’m fat, almost bald, I never wear make up), so psychologically it’s much easier for me to not feel pressured into it. I think there is nothing wrong with doing one or the other, but I do hope that if you shave only because you feel pressured to, at some point in life you will be in a position to stop doing it. You deserve to treat your body the way you want to, not the way other people tell you to.

Here are the responses:

Do shave:

female ( cis, bi), yep both, and because it feels nice on the legs and is good for pole dancing, and arms because it itches and because i've done it for years so now its a habit! (@coffeebitch62)

1) I am female 2) I only shave when my armpits or legs are on show and I’m leaving the house 3) I hate saying this but I feel so self-conscious if I don’t shave. Like I feel like everyone is judging me and will think of me in a negative light. I know that most of it is all in my head but it’s hard to turn it all off.

I am female and shave. I hate body hair on humans in general. I just no. I can't stand the feeling of it (I am very sensitive with textures) (@calamityems)

1. female 2. sometimes but not often (largely dependant on if they'll be visible? so pits more than legs) 3. laziness and no desire to conform to gender norms and expectations, but when i do it's because i don't have enough body confidence anyway, never mind to stand out for non-conformity lol but if i was more comfortable in myself i probably wouldn't shave (@legdabs)

i identify as a woman, i willingly shave pits but i wouldn't shave anything else if i didn't get pressure from all my family to do it (my friends don't give a shit, but my family are always trying to get me to be/do what they consider more 'feminine' eg shopping, makeup etc etc, and they believe that it's gross and improper for a woman not to shave)

1. female (but I don't let it define me as a person) 2. yes, both sometimes 3. It depends on my mood. I don't like it when it itches, which it's doing right now. I also don't do it sometimes because I think I don't have to just because I am female, an I hate that notion. I do think it can look good, and feel nice but I do believe keeping the hair is healthier and does look good as well. I struggle with it more on the legs, torn between how the hair looks and the itching.

I just recently tried not shaving my armpits (I have otherwise shaved them consistently since I started growing hair there, so it's just very routine) because I had a sore in one that was not healing. It wasn't too bad, but eventually I just wanted nice smooth pits again so I've gone back to shaving them, but I do it less frequently now, and I think the skin is healthier, and I'm no longer bothered by having a little hair there! As for legs, I shave if I'm going to wear shorts or a skirt, and occasionally I just feel like shaving for no reason, but for the most part, in the winter, I let it grow. I have very light and sparse leg hair though.... there is more on my arms but I don't shave that. (@ladycynthiana)

Kind of (either shave one and not the other, or very rarely):

1) I identify as a female 2) I shave my pits but not my legs cause my leg hair is blonde and I’m half black so when the light shines on the hair it glows. It’s like diy body glitter by doin less work.

I’m female and I shave my pits but rarely my legs. If I’m going somewhere nice or want to feel soft sure. But never for other people. Except pits cause social standards 🙄

i'm female and i shave my legs cause i like the smooth feeling when lying on my side but don't shave my pits

I identify as female and right now my legs look like they belong to sasquatch. I'd say I don't shave more than I do, just because it's a pain in the butt and I don't care how the hair looks. My partner doesn't really care either, although if I do shave, it'll usually get him excited

i tend to avoid exposing my legs, so i can not shave them without social consequences. i do shave my underarms though, and when i have to have visible leg, and i feel bad about it. (@templeofshame)

Don’t shave:

female and i don't shave anything! being smooth is nice but i love my hair and i feel more myself when i have it! (@tulipau)

i’m a cis girl and recently i’ve been experimenting with no shaving at all! and surprisingly i actually find myself quite sexy with hairy pits even tho i never wouldn’t have guessed it 👀

ok, now that you're asking: i am a woman and i haven't shaved my legs in the last four years (i'm 23). i do shave my armpits occasionally when i feel like it (depends how much i exercise, if i wear a lot of heavy jumpers that make me sweat etc). i've never shaved my ladyparts bc i take pride in being an adult woman with adult ladyparts. i am not a child. // reasons for not shaving my legs: 1- i stopped shaving bc i was only doing it for other people. my body hair doesn't bother me, i would only do it for the male gaze of our society. and then i realised that it's not my purpose on this earth to be nice to look at. 2- i've actually grown to love my body hair. it is just part of the human body, there's nothing wrong about it that needs to be removed. the human body is perfect just the way we are born. i love how my legs look (i have thin, quite dark leg hair), i love how they feel. if you shave, your legs feel kind of numb. mine don't. i can feel the breeze against my bare legs when i'm outside. 3- it makes me feel strong. idk why, i feel grounded, the same way that wearing combat boots make me feel. // i'm bisexual and sexually active. i've never had anyone be rude. (i keep away from douchebags) // don't be scared people. it's actually not that noticeable as you may think. if you don't come close you don't even see it. and if people look funny bc they see my armpits - it's rly not their business. if they want to look like molerats - i'm not judging either. i wanted to add to/clarify shaving my armpits: i don't like sweating with shaved armpits (eg exercising sleeveless in summer) bc of the wet feeling. on the other side i feel like when i wear thick clothes in winter and i sweat (warm rooms inside), and i DON'T shave, i start smelling (i do use deodorant, don't worry). therefore i will probably shave my armpits in winter and not in summer. most people probs do it the other way lol

#again thank you all who responded #it was very interesting to hear different opinions on this #i learned a lot

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misterbitches · 3 years

Text

@flootweed

ATOTS

That's super fucking romantic? Like tragic but in a nice way. i love that shit. i'm a monogamous slut for romance pghiosuag even tho we have to learn to live alone too but it's just like the NOTION is nice?!??! awwww i told my mom that SOPHIE's gf was like "she died taking a picture of the moon" and how it was like idk. the gf was just processing it and she thought it was romantic and my mom was like "wow.....depressing" bc think she thought it was stupid millenial shit i was like no mother doent u see she died in the BEAUTY LMAO but then i told her jessica walter's husband died the year before and then she died and she was like "aw...kind of romantic" LMAOOOO i guess two people have to die. why did i tell this story? i am so sorry. the show ended today right (ep 10?) i didn't realize it was that short. so i hope it was a happy ending? (tell me) i understand why you love the atmos! it's like, not really been done. there's this BL that i hear isn't too great but it does take place in a rural part of thailand and there's way less budget. a lot of ppl seem to like it. ep 6 LW / LW in gen gotta be honest, rushed through it. i knew spoilers from jump cause BL spoilers are just absolutely nothing and sometimes ur just like i need to know. i do not understand the ~silently lookin 4 u~ trope it always backfires and is also DUMB. so happy about tiffy. a girl who likes girls but ends up with a man bc of mommy and also the man is ok....it's me. she's gorgeous and actually [h*lf] gay so it's great. god ok i feel so old again. lmaooo but i was like obsessed with lady gaga for that reason (dont ask...also how i got kinda popular on tumblr way back in the day) and shes just absolutely fucking beautiful and bad ass. (which kind of doesnt helpcos they r all skinnty but that's FINEEEE) right? i mean like i guess cos we knew abt it? i can see why he was so pissed off, too? i mean i'm so fucking like...sensitive to being told what to do so i was angry for him from jump. i guess i was also looking at it different wholetime cos i knew the spoilers? i'm assuming u did too lmao. so we knew hed be pissed and leave. and frankly that's what sib gets. just for you my friend i will watch it and update. i think MANY times in shows in gen but it is something you notice a lot in BL bc they are just absolute novices most times. in this case, gene's actor mostly well (and i like him as a person just cos he was on that thai 3 girls in a car show and used to date on eof them lmao) can act so i will look over that scene to see how sib's actor plays off him. but the pausing in between sentences or for so long even decent actors or actors doing better. kao is not bad, not great so they will talk slowly because dramatic acting but the problem is most times it's too long. even if the person is an adept actor it won't always work and YES THEN THAT MEANS THE EDITOR COMES IN AND SNIP SNIP SNIP! it's too long. and sometimes it just does not work even if you can act. but it is GLARING when they cant or are average (someoe said this about tharntype and my god lmao tharn..is...so...slow...in...talking...the actor idk his name it's one of em, the other one with the nose (type) is....different not better but he certainly does not talk as slow. they arent bad but they are not good so.) also sometimes they are forgetting their lines. some ppl find this charming. clearly we do not lmao. what is their relation? what is going on there? i don't have a problem with stepbrothers as long as they didn't grow up with that sibling bond. many times blended families really have to watch out for that kind of fraternizing but it's always when theyre older and teenagers bc they didnt grow up w/ each other....i mean they have chemistry so i'm whatever. but. hennYYWAYYYS.actually it's bc im an idiot i didn't read it as Mhok (singular) and aey's father. Yes and his sister who i think i may hate? im like bitch okkkkkk but. his name is lhong. and he is a psycho. i mean so is type. so. oooh it could be that he stole! but also i'm pretty sure cos hes gay lol or did they

not make that explicit? the thing is i had to skip through most of that scene too because the drama was WAY too much for me. too much. lmao. the sister thing i got and it made sense and iliked that. oh yea he is gay and they know. that's a big one.

WBL

haven’t watched color rush! did you like it? i have seen wyel, parts of mr heart, and ofc to my star :)

ohhhhhh ok. i get you. yea he definitely wasn’t being ooc cos i think that....what u said. and also like....ugh i cant even think rn. i like sam lin a lot so i like gao shi de but i gotta say. lmao. hm. first of all. yes it is creepy what he did. it’s fucking weird. and sad that his whole life revolves around him. it’s not as fucking weird as LW but still like when he did the door thing. i was like UMMMMMMMMM cos i really didnt want it to be constructed. and when it was i was like imma suspend my disbelief. but if anyone dared...

and so what he did in s2 i think he just couldnt realize that he was loved back which is why it’s good he WAS ALONE for 5 yrs imo. but he gave shu yi 0 choice and for that i am pretty sure i would be even angrier. i do think though that the father’s role is pretty important but i can see how the show is like....letting that go? bc as fucking weird as GSD is, he was still like...20? i guess and shu yi’s dad is like. crazy? i am also like he really had to fucking start a company to get noticed like are u joking? is it also that easy? and also why? lmao i just. ugh. i think that probs bothered me the most...priorities.

i like the show! well idk if i love it but sure. i think it’s decent lmao. i understand what you’re saying. for here it bothers me less but i certainly don’t think it was OOC. immature and stupid but like...that’s.....what they are. i also don’t have a problm with the timing from a technical point.

however, when i started the show? i had NO clue what concept of time it was. and that was very annoying. tehy redeemed it bc of the comedy aspects (the first time shu yi sees shi de is so fucking good, i really loved the shot and editing; it’s hilarious and silly) and i started to go with the flow of the show through that. but the fucking concept of time in the show in general esp with repetitive outfits (i understand that they are more likely to wear multiple outfits as well, it’s just that you have to split it up or it i sconfusing visually and looks like the same scene twice or just a full day of shooting which it could be but then something should change in the clothes. this is just an ex~~*~*) and partof that is they have this already controlled narrative i guess.

i have to admit as well...i skipped episode 1. and most of 2. i was like i rly dont want to see someone slap a pereson even if they were like. not together. it’s just not cute also not in front of ppl. and then when they were yelling and bla bla i was like listen ladies lets calm down. too much angst in a boring way. what they have now is good. also they should probably like estrange the father but i doubt they will.

i cannot make up my mind totally now bc i see what ur saying i guess i just don’t feel that way as much but i guess i have to think about it more, too. i do think he was contorlling in getting him or like when he didnt want shu yi to find out whwatshisface liked him. i guess for me it would be if he is still that way in the rship. but even tho he’s at fault for what happened, i’m also like but his dad? but also like...did he try? why did he just stop contacting? but then i guess he emailed everyday? DO U C MY QUANDARY.

alsoi have to say i do not care abt their backdoor being opened lmao like wow business? no thanks

LMAO. did they cry a lot in UWMA? i only know the teamwin parts. which one is fluke the really pale one who died? idk what it is about that kid but i just cant watch him. it’s not his fault it’s mine.

DUDE i still dont understand the husband and wife thing and ive looked into it multiple times. ive kinda just classified it as one of those things that make me uncomfortable but arent problematic lol. it you have any insight about it id love to hear it tho !!

it’s stupid. that’s what it is (husband and wife.) it’s just something they say like many gay couples may use pejoratives in conjunction with them, the f word etc. or even imply something about being a top and a bottom. whatever. but these arent gay spaces or gay storylines. sure gay men may direct them but since BL operates and relies on patriarchy without a doubt and also stereotypes poorly kathoeys or won’t cast trans women in anything substantial and use them as jokes (and see this is one of those things where it’s like...ud never see this in the US tho like our concept of third gender or kathoeys but life stillBOOOOO.) so it’s just useless when they put it into the scripts because it’s for people to consume and lots of girls are. obviously. so the idea that if you are being penetrated and u r the wife and this is used like literally anywhere but not from gay or whatever men is gross. are cis women’s vaginas sieves to them? are trans women not women? do we have to categorize people by PHALLIC OBJECTS IN OUR BODIES SPECIFICALLY A WOMAN? it dont make no sense. plus really most ppl just experiment, there’s more ways than one to have sex, we have lives so most times it’s not just full penetration for hours anyway. it’s just so gross. like oh that’s really funny lol ur the wife cos his dick goes in ur butt XD i get it, same. i say “i’m wife’ whenever there’s a penis in me. fucking kill me. it’s not a big deal but it’s just dumb and gross. if they use it they could try and subvert it too like i like how my engineer has a whole absurdly stupid episode about it. but in TT the dad says “if ur the wife i wont accept it” and i was like u know what gals? im good. goodbye.

pgojaihousgajigko THAT’S SOOOOOOO OOWIEOFUGHOIJ WEIRD. FANDOM IS REALLY WEIRD. i have read rpf and written it once upon a time but dont do it anymore uch. i mean it’s weird. no doubt about that. invasive, weird, strange. but very unreal anyway. it is. plus i dont like celebs or fame and think of it as a gross capitalist scheme so i had to stop (also so weird?) but i know very many people like lean in. lean in. LEAN IN. this youtuber i watch did a video on like insanely popular ships (like that 1d one) and their insane fandoms and i just couldnt. it’s so embarrassing? and then they’re so bold????? about it?

yea it would be cool (more queer men or visibly we should say or like out whatever.) but it doesnt necessarily mean that will be good or beneficial i guess? i mean like. i dont know. so much about the genre is about wish fulfilment for young girls. its literally selling some fantasies because the other thing is for BL (i read a paper on this...) esp for girls in more conservative societies they cna maybe replace themselves in the character? but they may not feel a threat as a woman or like their life will fall apart if they engage in sexual things with anyone really. and that’s where i’m like....for a lot of these are they just writing a story and just replacing two men? bc they also seem to think it owrks like that. and in a way that’s what it is bc of the writing and how they use certain terms. you can tell the piece is about pushing a product and less about the real affects of a story. i think ITSAY is a great example of a really intelligent great piece of work that contains multitudes. and the girl was amazing. it just depends on the goal. and for most of the ppl the goal isnt...to do anything. so i dont know. idk how to talk abt representation anymore. it both is and isnt.

i really liked tingting from my engineer a lot (idk if u have seen) she’s so fun and unapologetic. i love how much she drinks and if someone tells her to be ladylike she says no. and i appreciate that in the show when girls were rude to her she said nothing about the girls but said “NO IM NOT LUCKY TO HAVE ALL MALE FRIENDS?” i really want to see her more in the next season. obviously tiffy is goat. super excited to see how their rship develops.

#we best love #lovely writer #we best love fighting mr 2nd

0 notes

actiasteeth · 6 years

Note

angsty relationship asks: david/ryan

do they have a lot of arguments? if so, over what? so so so many. typically ghosting / lack of communication and “”needing space”””””. later: “pls stop trying to fucking kill me.””

who apologizes first? in what way? is it hard for either of them to apologize? seeing as ryan’s generally the one in the wrong,,,,,, he’s the one who Should be apologizing first. a lot of the time tho, he leaves it up to david or he apologizes w/o Explicitly apologizing b/c he has trouble owning up to being a shithead. ryan just gets softer and more affectionate w him, tries to do sth to make it up to him. a lot of “pls i didn’t mean it”” / “”forget abt it”” / “i love u”””.

which one has more insecurities? over what? david. probably abt whether or not he’s actually done sth wrong to warrant being treated poorly.

who gets more riled up? do they show their anger? nnnnn. it would depend on the context?? both of them are capable of showing their anger, lmao.

how do they hide their pain when they’re upset? do they try to hide their pain? on the rare occasion that ryan is not the one in the wrong he’s verbally v quiet abt being upset. he p much goes silent and gets v tense and untouchy. it takes a while for him to rly find the right words to be like “hey this upset me”” b/c on some lvl he’s always gonna feel like he deserves it.

who tries to make up first? does it work? ryan. he can go from 100 to 0 in the blink of an eye if he’s over it. will try to act like nothing fucking happened. it’s,,,,,,, iffy at best.

would they hate-fuck if they were mad at one another? if they had a falling out? eeeeeh. theoretically ryan could be into this but in practice he closes off when he’s angry so probably not. they’re all abt that make up sex game tho.

do they hold grudges? is it hard for them to let go/forgive each other? david does more so than ryan. once ryan is over sth, once he’s had the time to process it, he’s over it and doesn’t care to revisit it.

is there something big that could potentially tear them apart if it was revealed? no?? i mean there’s a lack of communication sure but they don’t rly keep things from each other??

if something already happened to tear them apart, what would make them come back together? is it even possible? main verse, i think they’re p much doomed. breakup au?? there would need to be a solid exhibition of Growth mostly on ryan’s end—in his stability, in the way he handles situations, in reeling in his vices. david would have to trust him to be better.

what’s their favorite pass time when they’re upset? leaving mean drunk comments abt himself on david’s videos.

who do they confide in when shit hits the fan (besides each other)? ryan always goes to his sister loren if he goes to anyone at all. 70% of the time he’s gonna keep that shit to himself tho.

is it hard for them to talk about their feelings openly with each other? if so, is there any way that can be resolved, even in the slightest? david is more open than ryan is when it comes to Real Shit. whenever ryan is gearing up to vent abt things he just ends up sitting there saying nothing. ryan needs a couple drinks in him before he starts talking tbh.

who grieves more when the other is away? david.

who misses the other more, or really thinks about them more? also david. it’s not that ryan doesn’t think abt him or miss him, he’s just less inclined to let it bother him.

do either of them have a special item (an article of clothing, a necklace, a book) that they use when they miss the other? if so, what is it? what do they do with it (read, wear, look at, smell)? ryan’s absconded w enough of david’s clothes,,,,,, he wears them around the house p much 100% of the time tbh, even when he’s not Highkey missing him.

who cries more? who gets more emotional in general? is this evn up for debate?? david. it’s david.

do either of them have the other’s stuff lying around their house? feel like david would be more inclined to leave shit lying around ryan’s.

how about teasing? do they tease each other while in a fight (whether it be with themselves or just general teasing)? unlikely. they generally take their fights p srsly?? unless it’s like clearly a fake argument then 5000% yes to both.

do either of them have any vices? ryan drinks too much and gets progressively worse as their relationship deteriorates.

what’s the thing they miss most about each other? ryan doesn’t usually miss one thing abt david in particular??? if he’s missing him, he’s missing him as a whole. if anything got to him in time tho, it would probably be the lack of physical touch. as shallow as that sounds, lmao.

what’s their go-to breakup/angst song? for ryan, trouble by cat stevens.

who’s more jealous? neither of them rly. like, sure, they’re falling apart but it’s not like there’s any legitimate fear of unfaithfulness or anything of that sort.

who is the first to forgive? again,,,,,,, not that david is the one who needs forgiveness, lmao. but ryan will convince himself that things are david’s fault evn when he Knows they aren’t; will then proceed to drop it and be all “””i just want us to be ok,, dw abt it”” ?????????? whom’st’ve’d.

what’s the one deal breaker for either of them (lack of communication, fear of commitment, etc)? lack of communication, def. and being “””needy””””””””.

who would take longer to let go? do they ever really “let go”? both of them get an F in letting go (see: the breakup au). never in the 4yrs that they were apart did ryan even Try to move on or let go. like did he date?? sure. but he never went into it w the mindset that it would last and the Smallest things fucked him up on how Wrong everything felt and how Not David everything was and he just,,,,,,,,,, No. also main verse????? david won’t go into the fuckign light and insists on terrorizing ryan instead???? double F in letting go.

which is more afraid of confrontation? neither of them are a fan.

who’s the first to distance themselves (if either)? u kidding?? ryan.

who’s more patient? is it hard to break that patience? david. he put up w so much, pls. that said, ryan likes to think he’s p patient w ghost!david but That is too little too late.

who’s the first to blame themselves? david. ryan will shift blame off himself evry chance he gets even when he Knows damn well he’s in the wrong.

who’s more likely to do something out of spite? both.

who would be the first to say they hate the other? would they mean it? ryan. not to his face but he def told his sister that he hated him not long before david died. he didn’t mean it for a single second. even when he starts being a shitty demon abt things ryan still doesn’t hate him. he clings so hard to this ideal version of david that,,,,,, idk if there will ever come a time where there isn’t this part of him that’s so incredibly deep in love w that version of him.

who worries more? in the grand scheme of things, probably david. but i don’t see either of them as particularly big worriers.

what scent reminds them of the other? firewood. warm sugar syrup. asphalt.

do they have any regrets (regarding the other, or just in general)? ryan regrets taking david for granted. he regrets not actively trying to better himself regardless of always arguing that he was “”Trying””””. he regrets that he couldn’t commit himself to having a proper Talk abt how they could begin to fix things. not spending more time w him. not giving him the love he deserved.

who’s quicker to walk away if a situation gets heated? ryan generally backs off if david starts crying??? but if they’re just having a yelling match and no one is crying,, it just goes down until it doesn’t.

who is more prone to anger? ryan. he’s more irritable at least, so small things can set him off.

who cries more in an argument? do either of them cry? david obvs. ryan cries After the fact when he’s alone but p much nevr in front of david. he Will cry in front of ghost!david tho b/c it’s not like he’s got a choice.

does it take a lot for it to get to the point of yelling? no,,..,,..,….,,,,,

who sleeps on the couch? can either of them sleep without the other? ryan sleeps on the couch but not rly b/c they’ve been fighting. he’s just restless and gets frustrated if he’s lying there for too long trying in vain to sleep. that said they can sleep w/o each other (ryan isn’t exactly the biggest fan of cuddling anyway) but they Do appreciate the idea of waking up together so,, while it’s nice when it happens, it isn’t Necessary.

who’s more likely to protect the other? ryan??? in that if someone is talkin shit or sth he will Pounce both verbally and physically if he’s gotta.

if one of them gets injured, who worries more? i mean ryan’s out here encouraging david to do risky shit, Sure, but he’s like,, halfway joking and if david gets so much as a Scratch u bet ur ass ryan is tending 2 that shit. whenever they’re play fighting or w/e ryan is also rly conscious of letting up if david shows any sign of discomfort. i think ryan is?? generally???? less inclined??? to get injured????? but he will straight up Fight ppl if they push him so idk,, david might have reason to fuss over him but it’s Rare. he was probably a whole five and a half messes after asking david to teach him how to skate tho.

who would be more afraid of the other’s death/harm? LOL. i feel like this wasn’t rly a thing they worried abt Legitimately?? then it Happened and,, rip.

who ends up yelling first? are they always yelling when arguing, or do neither of them yell at all? 50/50 depending on what the argument is abt.

who would be more likely to save who? i wld think both of them wld make efforts to keep each other safe?? can’t speak for ghost!david’s problematic ass.

who stays up at night brooding? ryan’s insomniac ass.

who has more dreams/nightmares about the other? ryan has a lot of both after david dies. if u thought he wasn’t sleeping well Before,, that shit got 100% worse. he hates both but the good dreams especially always choke him tf up.

who comforts who after a bad dream/event? ryan before. now, no one.

do they think about each other a lot? does it affect their performance/schoolwork? in the earlier days of their relationship ryan was so bad at work, especially if they had plans for after he was off. he was constantly checking his phone and sending not-so-sneaky texts. catch him zoning out thinking abt him too. if david ever surprised him at work he always came back late from his break, lmao. he was bad in other ways when shit started going downhill in that he was absent and cold and quick to snap at anyone who breathed in his direction.

if one of them were to come back after a long time, who would come to who? would it go well? would the other person take them back? don’t think either of them would actively seek the other out?? i.e their reconnection would have to come as a coincidence. this goes abt as well as u would expect. both of them are some part willing to take each other back but,,,,, there’s def some hesitation there. ryan doesn’t trust himself to not fuck up all over again and sometimes it’s like he’s watching himself frm the outside. he keeps slipping up and making moves and trying to get david into bed but he always ditches before they have a chance to get Too Deep into feelings. eventually he ends up spilling his guts ofc (“””i’m still so fuckign in love w u u have no fucking idea”””) and they eventually bite the bullet and decide to try again. how well That goes is up for debate.

#it took 70yrs but we got here #c: ryan suriyasen #s: don't mind you under my skin; let the bad parts in #v: love of life written by the dead #.mr #thanhpls #long post ///#v: i don’t belong to anyone else

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elviriel · 7 years

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Thanks for asking, @la-petite-fadette! I made a separate post for this, since it was getting kind of long, hope that’s okay.

And I was actually thinking of talking about this for Braven week when I saw the “when they became your otp” moment so, the question comes at a perfect time. It convinced me to actually type it out!

To answer that question adequately- because I'm very wordy and incapable of answering quickly, watch me get off-topic under the cut as I try to walk you through my history of shipping on The 100. This is all a lot of honest rambles about what I shipped and why I stopped.

Dear followers, if you ship B*llarke, don’t read this. It’s only going to upset you, so stay away :) Also, Braven shippers, this post talks about B*llarke a lot. and about Raven x W*ck a bit And about internalized bias and things like that. Just so you’re warned :) it does talk about braven though oF COURSE

So how did I get into Ravenbell? To get there, I have to start with B*llarke because.... well, you’ll see.

The thing is, like many others I think, I shipped B*llarke before even watching the show.

Gifsets of that season 2 hug were everywhere on my dash, and I was like: “oh my this is cute.” then I started watching the show, and while I fell in love with Raven at first sight, B*llarke had that enemies to lovers potential that kept me hooked.

They had fun chemistry in season 1. They started antagonistic then started liking each other more. They were the leads. It made... sense? And I genuinely liked them. So there I was, shipping it happily. Everyone shipped it, so it was on my dash all the time. It fueled my shipping, and I knew it was all leading to The Hug.

Ravenbell was.... well. not even a thing if you looked at the fandom, judging by the people I was following. It was either Fl*arke or B*llarke. L*nctavia too.

So Ravenbell flew past me. I enjoyed their interactions- definitely saw the sexual tension.

Hell, I will admit that when they hooked up in season 1, I felt lowkey threatened, as I think many B*llarke shippers did.

My threatening did not, however, transform into me hating Raven because I loved her a lot. She was my absolute favorite. People disliking her because of that thing honestly made me like her more out of spite- not that she needed it. My love for Raven Reyes knows no bounds.

And even then, I think I was kind of hoping something more would come from their hook-up- but I was still in B*llarke land then, so I both wanted it and I didn’t.

That’s the thing about me- honestly, I tend to pick a ship and it’s hard for me to get over it once I ship it. I’m less like this than I used to be, but yeah. I tended to hold on tight to ships

I did think, though, that maybe Ravenbell would go somewhere in season 2, after their late season 1 interactions. It kind of surprised me that it didn’t. So season 1 happened, and then season 2 rolled around. I loved season 2 in many ways, but Raven’s general storyline in season 2 was very unsatisfying to me. Raven x W*ck was nice, at first. I wanted Raven to have a love interest that wasn't Finn. I enjoyed the banter- but then when it progressed, I found myself grimacing at Wick putting pressure on her. I was like “really man? She just lost the boy she loved forever, her family, can you chill?” I saw everyone being all heart eyes at that ship in the B*llarke tag, and I was wondering if there was something I’d missed. Because I wasn’t really into it. I did notice, though, at the end of season 2, Bellamy saying “Is that Raven?” like he wanted to cry. It made my heart do a thing. But again, still in B*llarke land. I got a lot of feels at the end of the season. She kissed his cheek. I was crying. Still firmly into B*llarke at this point. Even if the possibility of Cl*xa then highly interested me.

But anyway. On to season 3.

Season 3 is when I stopped shipping B*llarke.

Mostly because season 3 started, iMO, sucking. I was angry at the Bell storyline. I was angry at how Cl*xa was handled, I was angry at the Lincoln death/Ricky Whittle on set drama... Season 3 nearly got me to quit the show tbh.

So my B*llarke shipping was sucked into my frustration with the show. And I didn’t like the idea that L*xa was killed off to make way for B*llarke- I now realize that it wasn’t the case, but the way the fandom framed it... It turned me off the show, the ship, all of it.

I also lost interest in Cl*rke as a character for many reasons that I won’t go into- my season 3 frustrations are never-ending tbh and somehow, when B*llarke reunited at the end of the season, it fell kind of flat to me? I was like: “but wait where’s that romantic chemistry I thought they had” (the answer was it probably wasn’t there in the first place but anyway i’m not here to throw shade)

anyway, my reaction was: “Huh. so I’m over b*llarke.”

Also, as I got more frustrated with the show in season 3, I started going into “anti tags” and found meta that talked about several aspects (I think some of them were even written by you? I know I’d seen your name in tags before I followed you for Braven joy) such as the show’s racist patterns, etc.- and also, I distinctly remember reading a great piece of meta about how the show rarely lets characters of color interact without a white character present, and that.... got me. I was like: fuck that’s true.

When I say season 3 sucked though, I want to make it clear that while it did IMO, it only... highlighted some of the problems that were here all along in the show. Honestly I’m really not proud of the way I missed - or ignored- some of the show’s patterns, and they really came to light in season 3. The fact that I missed those aspects is fully on me. A lot of viewers were aware of them before. Just not... me? Wow am I getting off-topic. The question was about Ravenbell. Okay. Focus, Audrey, focus.

I wasn’ t even going to watch season 4, at first, but my husband wanted to, so I knew I wouldn't be able to resist. I wasn’t really into the 100 then anymore tbh.

Before season 4 rolled around though, I visited the Ravenbell tag. The reason is ridiculously personal and has, at its basis, NOTHING to do with Ravenbell themselves. A happy accident, really.

To be completely honest, I started writing a book (wee!) where two main characters hook up and they look like Ravenbell a lot. Tall curly-haired boy, shorter dark-haired lady, both of them brown-skinned... so I wanted screenshots of them to make my own private edits for myself like the little goblin that I am- and looking for screenshots on google images led me to the Braven tag, and then I.... could not... get out.

Looking at the Ravenbell scenes in gifsets, looking at edits, honestly made me go: “........ huh. HUH. how come I don’t ship this more? They’re my favorite individually and usually, I ship my favorites together. Not always but often How come I broke my own pattern?”

The question to how come I broke my own pattern probably has an answer that’s both obvious and shameful tbh. The fact that I didn’t ship Raven with Bell even if she was my favorite character, over Cl*rke, says a lot about how much TV structure and internalized shit influence us. I’m a lot more conscious of that than I used to be. I know you’re familiar with candyumbrella’s tobin structure posts- and honestly, misreading B*llarke as Tobin?

That was me. Me 1000000%. I can admit it freely because I’m super over it but that was the case.

Probably the reasons the meta mentions- even if it wasn’t conscious on my part. I somehow- had this idea in my head that Bell*rke was the ship. That the romantic chemistry was there. That the storyline was going there. That they had the development, the attraction, etc.

As it turns out.... well. Nope?

Those Tobin metas also intensified my Braven shipping by 10000% since then but anyway

Really though, the braven tag and its contents - that I kept visiting for non-book-edit purposes- made me start shipping it. A lot. A lot-lot. Mostly because the more I looked at their pretty selves and thought about them, they made... sense?

The fact that I was super over B*llarke freed up the way for me to ship Braven. It sounds silly, really, but that's 1000% what happened.

Anyway, by the start of season 4, Braven interacted.

I squealed.

I wanted more of them.

I kept visiting the tags. More and more and more. I rewatched some of their scenes and saw things I’d missed. I remembered how really, in season 1, it looked like something more would come from their season 1 scenes- until that was mostly dropped in season 2. And the writing for season 4 was more satisfactory to me, for the most part. There was more Raven. A LOT MORE RAVEN. So between my renewed fondness for the show, my heart exploding with feels over Raven Reyes all the time, my little heart fluttering over Bellamy Blake constantly, I went from “oh that would be rly nice if the show went there again” to “help I ship it so hard I would die for them” and honestly there’s no going back for me now.

I realized that not only was Ravenbell super based in canon, they made sense. They bring out some passion in each other that lacks in their interactions with other characters IMO. And honestly, after all the shit they went through, I want them to be loved and protected and treated well- and if you look at the show’s canon, IMO, that’s with each other. I’m not nearly as skilled with Braven meta as the rest of the fandom is, so I won’t bother explaining why I love them because honestly, the fandom’s said it all. And I can feel it in my chest now- they evoke the kind of love that B*llarke used to evoke for me, only even deeper because (no shade to anyone who likes Cl*rke ) I’ve always loved Raven much, much more than I like Cl*rke, even when the latter was in my top 5 favorite characters. The admiration I have for Raven Reyes knows no bounds, and god, Bellamy Blake, don’t get me started. Loving him has been a ride, because he has been through so much and grown so much and you know that meta, Raven Reyes as the secret hero of his development? I think about that every goddamn day.

And honestly, back in B*llarke days, I was annoyed with some of the fandom’s tendency to... reduce Bell or Raven to Cl*rke. I never liked the trend of making Raven out to be some sort of B*llarke cheerleader- and I think starting in season 2, I was a bit annoyed by the idea that everything Bell did or said was directly related to his love for Cl*rke. Even if I shipped it, that was... irksome, even if it took me a while to realize what bothered me.

Honestly the cracks in my B*llarke shipping were probably there from the start but anyway. I still shipped for a loooooong time

I spent season 4 waiting for Braven to interact more, getting increasingly annoyed with Cl*rke, thirsting for Braven to interact ALONE- and then completely exploding when he offered to go get her and the hug and the scenes in the finale and gkljflkgjdlkjgdfkgjdflkjkldjflgjfdlgkjfdlkgjfdklgjfdklgjflgjd. Keysmash sums up my feelings efficiently.

Honestly, I think it’s the Ravenbell tag that made me get into it before season 4 rolled around, and increasingly through the season. The gifsets, the metas, the everything- mostly because the tag helped me realize a lot of things that had happened in the first three seasons and that I’d missed because I was into another ship. Complete and utter tunnel-vision.

And now, as I await season 5, I visit the tag all the time and read all the meta and look at their pretty faces and think daily about what a fool I was to miss that ship for such a long time. I honestly can’t believe myself Anyway, if you read all that, thank you? I hoped you enjoyed my ramblings. (Also, this may sound like a silly question, but am I the only one who went from B*llarke to Braven? I feel like I can’t be, but you know, if anyone else ship-jumped, let me know so I can feel less alone and we can cry together about the foolishness of our youth)

#dare I tag this as braven #well no I don't want to clog the tag but #I know people might find it anyway so hi everyone sorry about the rambles #Audrey speaks #Audrey screams about braven #braven #just for my own organization

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