#but it's so fun to think abt bc the show is actually well written they all have lil tidbits that make their relationships (/p) unique

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

ok so i was actually kinda surprised to find that looking at the ao3 stats and adjusting for how long ofmd’s existed (a year and a half) vs how long the stucky fandom’s been around (coming up on a decade), not only is gentlebeard on par with stucky but it actually beats stucky for amount of fics written. but i’m making a prediction now just based on how i’ve observed fandoms to work: i do think the gentlebeard popularity will peter out faster than stucky did

i’m not saying bc i think gentlebeard is worse or the ofmd fandom is weak or anything, i’m saying this bc in fandom it seems like the white masc queerbait ships* have like, an absurd amount of longevity that goes way beyond the general fandom surrounding whatever media said white masc queerbait ship hails from. im thinking abt the protagonist/rival ship from the TERF wizard series that nobody decent talks about in public anymore. before we all cut jkr out of our lives, people were still churning out fics abt the main character and that racist blond kid pretty regularly. and another example, we have those scientists from pacific rim that are more popular than any of the main characters from that movie. it’s been years and the newt/hermann fandom is still going strong.

and i say “newt/hermann fandom” intentionally, bc that’s the thing that i think actually gives these ships their longevity: when there are fans who are primarily invested in a piece of media because of a noncanonical masc4masc queerbait ship, they’re not really fans of the media itself. i mean, some of them might be, but if they are then that’s in addition to being fans of this alternate queer interpretation of the media in question. they’re a fan of the fandom mass hallucination that the fans collectively and collaboratively invented of a romantic/sexual/homoerotic relationship between two guys who on-screen might hug like once or twice (or sometimes even never)

and i’m pretty sure the reason this sort of fandom phenomenon tends to have so much longevity is bc the fans have already created this whole extensive romantic storyline using what is often some pretty minimal canonical material to work with. so when the movie franchise or the tv show ends and the shippers no longer have any new canonical material to work with, they can keep going for years because really, they were already making shit up from the start.

so compared to that, gentlebeard is way different bc everything the fans might have invented on our own the show pretty much already did for us, and anything the show didn’t do yet is probably coming for us this season (or in s3, fingers crossed). i’ve mentioned before how a lot of fanfiction seems to fall on a spectrum between “fix” and “expand,” and by the end of ofmd i doubt there’s gonna be a whole lot that gentlebeard fans feel like they need to “fix.” versus stucky, where there’s so much that needs to be fixed that you might as well just throw the whole canon out.

i don't really mean any of this as a criticism or an attack on fans of queerbait ships like this, im just pointing out fandom trends that i've noticed. i myself have been deeply invested in stucky, newmann, and the gay wizard boys at different points in my life. like there is something very fun abt putting on slash goggles and making queer content out of nothing. personally though, now that we're in an age where we're getting canon queer content, im not so engaged in a lot of the ships i used to care so much about, but i don't think it's inherently wrong** for people to still enjoy some classic fandom queerbait ships. it's just a very different thing from enjoying canonical queer ships like gentlebeard

*im using “queerbait ships” loosely to include popular gay ships in media that was never in a million years going to make these characters gay.

**a clarifying point: i don't think it's inherently wrong, however there are a lot of problematic elements to this kind of fandom activity, namely the way a lot of these queerbait ships will dominate a fandom while other characters who are important in canon get completely sidelined (and yes, the sidelined characters are often women/poc). also, less importantly, when people's primary media consumption revolves around strip mining canon for shipping content, this absolutely destroys their media literacy and critical thinking. again, im not saying this to attack ppl who engage in fandom primarily through fic/art of noncanonical gay ships, i myself have done the same thing. but i think ppl who do should also make a conscious effort to also engage with fan content that centers women/poc, or at the very least need to be aware of the issues around this kind of fandom activity.

[angelmichelangelo]

ugh i was thinking abt karai all of last night and it made me Angry. the missed opportunities of karai in 2012 are TRAGIC. she wouldve been such a good older sister living with the turtles and splinter like can you IMAGINE the antics. karai purposefully pissing off raph and they get into sibling slap fights. she indulges mikey on whatever he wants bc hes the youngest and won her heart immediately. she makes fun of donnie for being a nerd but also consistently brings him snacks and makes him go to bed when hes been in his lab for a while. her and splinter talking about their traumas and healing as father and daughter. AUUUGGHG ciro when i catch you. ciro you mf

oh absolutely!! it's so sad that such a big chunk of the entire tmnt plot was karai's backstory and getting her back to her family, and once that was all achieved she kinda just.. faded into the background like a cousin that occasionally showed up every now and then for big showdowns.

ESPECIALLY since she was splinter's long lost daughter. the daughter he'd told his sons about countless times, the one where he'd mention her, get all sad and go 'but no worries i have you boys now:)' like ??? that could have made for some AMAZING storylines. a little bit of jealousy for angst? splinter's guilt?! them trying to relearn their entire family dynamic.. and they chose to go with 'yeah the whole leo and karai thing was weird. that's still going strong btw just a heads up'

we really were robbed of her interactions with the turtles one to one. i'll say this: the turtles relationships with each other? great, fantastic, love to see it. but outside of their brothers.. yeesh. they don't mix well in terms of how they're written. and a lot of characters suffer for it. i can't think off the top of my head a single time karai interacts with, say, mikey, alone. just even in the background. like yeah they pair her and leo off together a lot and raph chews her out a few times but she really deserved to actually hang out with her little brothers a lot more and that's sad :(

i would have really have loved to see everything you mentioned! i think (and correct me if im wrong) but mikey is like the only one who outright calls her their sister. i would have loved to have seen an entire episode where the rest of the brothers kinda come to terms with that, leo ESPECIALLY! he's a daddy's boy at heart and now his dad's first child is back and he maybe feels a bit put out. maybe don raph and mike already feel like they never got enough attention have to try and cope with the fact that they feel even more pushed out, even if not on purpose.

and then on top of that, the guilt karai feels, torn between feeling glad she has her real father back, and sad because she doesn't know this man like the others quite do and she knows she's taking up his time and attention... :( there was so much they could have done! and yet!! and yet!!!!!!!

ugh. i guess that is what fanfiction is for, huh friend :') lol

[bumofthewild]

what are your shadowbringers thoughts so far 🥳

too many.........! i mean it like a lot. more than i get to in this post. also i did the final trial of post-shb ytd actually so spoilers for both shb and post-shb (up 2 the end of that fight)

i think it was different from what i was expecting from the pre-shb parts... like i really enjoyed what immediately happens after the yotsuyu trial where alphinaud plans to go to garlemald and gets stranded in the burn (one of the coolest locations in the game) and the really dire feeling from your friends falling unconscious around you and a voice calling to you in this urgent but poetic way; i was really into the feeling of this unknown threat closing in all around wol. when finally alisaie falls (i liked the development she was getting and how blunt she is abt caring abt her loved ones) and wol gets transported to the first i was like whooooaaaa but then i actually think the story kind of lost me for a bit bc it loses that pre-shb momentum setting up the first as a location. not to say the opening parts of shb aren't well-written or interesting bc they def are but i found myself kind of wanting to go back to that intense direness (rather than the resigned-to-danger feeling of life in the first after the flood) and also i had this idea of shb being this visually darker expansion probably bc of the title and the garlemald cutscenes so its funny its the exact opposite. i rmb i also thought the shadowbringers would be the ascians but they really made you think that on purpose smh bc the shadowbringers are actually.....you....! (i think)

still i really like the idea of overwhelming light and how it just leads to stasis of all things. shb has some truly weird ideas but in a really fun way like the idea that the echo is something that can be evoked within sundered beings by having them experience a starshower like how the fuck do you come up with that. just some truly esoteric things like elemental imbalances and the shattering of the source into thirteen shards and all that like im genuinely a big fan of the ffxiv world lore. it was cool how all this stuff was set up pretty well too with the warriors of darkness from post-hvw like i really liked how they put those guys back into the story. and i always enjoy when the driving force in a story is like a hunt for mini-bosses (the light wardens). i think what was kind of making my interest fray at times though was again just establishing a new setting which i was less interested in than the overwhelming light plot stuff. particularly eulmore, probs bc i went there first fresh after all the urgent things were winding down but also bc it's so detailed a location it feels almost separate from the game to me so i felt a bit distracted. i really wasn't expecting that initial confrontation with vauthry to extend into him and his army becoming such a large part of the story, but i did like it regardless, like that cut-scene with kai-shirr where you save him from vauthry was so dramatic its even giving me chills remembering it. the fatphobia regarding vauthry's character was weird but im just. like ok. well i just had to say it

i really like the new locations too like il mheg definitely was made for me to spend hrs in there wishing it was real but everywhere too was really fresh and unique. i like mord souq a lot and i liked seeing the beast tribes be incorporated into the societies as opposed to whatever eorzea is always doing wrong. i also liked the attention put into things like developing relationships w ppl from the diff areas like helping with the trolley and the talos at twine--i always like stories where places are revitalised. like smaller-scale hopes being restored amongst the larger actions like bringing back the night and showing how these small things can be equally as important. i liked the effort that went into establishing the unique lifestyles of denizens of the first also. and seriously everything aboug il mheg plus urianger hanging out with fairies is one of those things that feels directly plucked from the self-indulgent recesses of my brain. i was actually sad when you lifted the mist bc the place felt a lot more enclosed (i like enclosed things i love an enclosed atmosphere which is why i wanted shb to feel less like it was opening up a story) and dreamy but oh well i can always just ng+ the game and never find urianger's house and frolick in misty il mheg forever

going back to how each area is really fun i also really like that idk thing stories do where you encounter a diff person at every diff location. like that all your friends were at different places on the map idk how to explain but i thought that was a fun way to have wol explore novrandt that makes sense. and how these new places recontextualise the scions who have been with you since arr was interesting like seeing them in a new light. i do feel like the game doesn't develop urianger and y'shtola as much emotionally compared to the others (THANCRED IS THE MAIN CHARACTER OF THIS GAME?) bc idk they're smart or smth so they're usually playing Mr. Exposition roles but i was grateful that at least you finally FINALLY spend a lot of time together as a party and build your relationship. probs one of the things i enjoyed most about shb. like you obvs don't see them in hvw bc they're all missing--just generally urianger isn't hidden away in some library thancred isn't skulking around some imperial stronghold somewhere y'shtola isn't being placed in a coma for the millionth time and the twins aren't otherwise engaged with logistics/combat. like everyone was finally together and striving towards the same things together. i could finally feel the bond between the scions rather than be told they're close thru sparse interactions they have with wol individually.

i also really like what they did with ardbert, the moments w him all felt so poignant. i used to find him silly in post-hvw calling himself the warrior of darkness and smirking at me all the time until the moment he goes back to the first w urianger's help..then i was like my bad i wasnt aware of your struggles.... i like how they complicated his char a lot and his narrations were so fun. his char is a good example i think of how shb did a good job of being both heartbreaking and pretty dark without being hamfisted or unnecessarily cynical

i feel like im going to have to spend so much time processing shb bc i blasted thru it but also bc i was so distracted by the crystal exarch like the moment i saw him i was like is this not just g'raha bc of the male miqote mouth (and that he has you go to the crystal tower but mostly the mouth) and this like proceeded to distract me to an insane degree up until the very second his hood flew back at the climax of the game and revealed it was actually him. i was even telling my sister like i hope he doesn't reveal his face himself i hope some stray wind or w/e blows the hood down...so i won that interaction. idk how i managed to avoid spoiling that considering i used to see fanart of him often bc he's so popular but i am not ungrateful bc even if its obviously him that would have sucked bc needing to know it was him like being right was possessing me

uhh what else............ regretfully emet-selch is now one of my fav characters. in the whole game. which is crazy to me.... i used to see his name around as well but what i rmb specifically is this one time i saw like a tweet complaining abt ff fans who are really into the imperialist ideals mention him and i was like eww guess im never gonna like this emet-selch guy if i play hahahaha. and i had this weirdass vision of him in my head as this brooding black robe-wearing guy w mid length grey hair or smth (just the impression i got from his name idefk) bc i had no clue what he looked like. and then solus shows up for the first time and i was like wow this guy is really interesting like whenever he shows up the plot really starts gripping me bc i just find the shit to do with the ascians soooooo super interesting. like the fact that they're very openly present but such a large threat. it's interesting to me that as enemies they make themselves so known to the main cast and could be anywhere at any time--i find that sort of impasse really fun. like a tense atmosphere nobody on either side breaks until the final moment bc they're not sure what the retaliation will be. also when emet-selch admitted that as ascians they'd all been tempered by zodiark like HUHHHH THATS SO INTERESTING

i think definitely the part after mt.gulg trial was where i was really understanding why i see a lot of ppl say that shb is the best expac bc how much the plot ramps up the stakes all of a sudden compared to the level of danger you get used to is crazy. and it really gives you things to think about beyond wuhhh good and evil bc like after you incoporate all that light into you, you're the threat now...? like what do you do? when you open the windows and the light has come back to the world after you gave everyone this hope the night sky could come back... that level of fucking up really surprised me. and the whole time emet-selch is shadowing you really only feels at most like a vaguely concealed threat and i feel like i don't usually get caught like that but i was genuinely shocked he was such a serious threat all of a sudden. like i genuinely forgot even though all of his interactions felt like being on the edge of a deal w the devil. and it was well done too i like when everyone is honest abt their intentions more or less the whole time but theres still a lot of intrigue -> danger

i usually roll my eyes at ig simplistic overtures about sympathizing with or even at least understanding your enemy but i have to say i really was unfortunately taken in by the fact that emet-selch was very genuine about his interest in the main party, and it was even better to me bc of how precarious their interactions were. i just love weird and hard-to-put-into-words relationships between ppl who know of each other but are essentially strangers. and compared to the other ascians you've met so far how he makes his appeals more human/emotional rather than with the stiff otherworldly-being logic of his comrades i find interesting, and again it doesn't come off as simplistic or try to provide any thoughtless concrete answers to me bc although the main party at least feels enough towards him to feel pity/considerate/betrayed, which i like bc that's just what ppl do, they just can't accept him (obviously) and they remain at that standstill. like they understand each other but they will never agree. not getting into how he invites wol who is turning into a monster personally to his underwater lair bc i want to seem normal secret recesses of my mind i just always like characters that seem cool or capable or operate in a way that seems very (almost "nobly") focused but its actually something of a farce, and they're really being spurred on by some intensely personal emotion. like shinobu from kny or sekigahara from 13 sentinels who are some off my fav characters. i did feel like the way he was rejecting the party at the end (before you fight him) was kind of excessive, like they were playing up his villainy a bit so it would make more sense you have to kill him or smth, but in my mind it's like of course you have to kill him no matter what. and i don't mean all of this in some woobifying way where i feel bad for him like nooo poor emet more like i just like when someone is really driven by emotions idk lemme try to find the words. the way the grief like bleeds out of him... like he creates a giant city of memories that he wants someone to understand so bad. i like that kind of mishandled pain...like an inability to contain something.

but as much as what the ascians strive towards/how they go about it/most things to do with them fascinate me i do have an iffy feeling about smth very specific that i think really solidified itself with amaurot. i find the conflict that is the sundering really interesting but how it's conceptualized is really................hm....the ascians having a normative standard of what it means to be a "proper" or fully-fledged or whole being = being worthy of life, so that killing the "malformed" beings that are the non-ascians doesn't count as killing.... that they have this idea of a "true" type of person. does that not seem like couched in really blatant ableist (and other things but im just a fool on tumblr) thought about what it means to be considered a person. i was just fascinated bc they're the villains so I GUESS it's meant to be "wrong" the way they think, but theyre still also sympathetic chars (and imperialists) so ok. this is also the acting logic of eorzea disposing of the ixal and the kobolds and the sahagin etc etc like killing beastmen is like swatting flies. the beast racism. like you know the amount of stock ppl put into worthless concepts like "reason" as if its some immutable law and not socially constructed and thats whats good and virtuous and deserving of life. it was just interesting? (HAHAHAHAUUUGHH) to see that represented in this hyper-rational and streamlined city/society of the ascians. the hard edges and the carefully tended charmless cement rows of tree plots and organized lines for licenses and taking pleasure in an organised and rational debate with my fellow ascians at the debate hall. like the perfect and complete world the ascians are killing themselves to bring back is bureaucracy???????? i actually was so stunned i wanted to laugh. idk it just makes so much sense to me that the way square enix apparently pictures some lost utopia "lesser" beings cant achieve would be in this sort of fake-conflictless way. it feels otherworldly of course in comparison to the rest of the worlds and i enjoyed that section of the game a lot but. like good lord

i had like no thoughts about g'raha until post-shb for some reason maybe bc idk what i could say the game hasn't already abt his personality but i'm like fascinated with how taken he is with wol bc i almost don't get it. i actually kind of mostly enjoy it in a really one-sided way where he is enamoured with wol as a fantasy figure out of his reach and it just stays that way forever. he interests me bc it feels like he's not really alive....and i said in my post about stormblood that i really like characters who feel like they can't see a life for themselves in the future beyond some goalpost they strive towards..but g'raha feels a bit different, he doesn't feel dead inside or empty he just feels like. he's not alive like he's not living. idk like he's not a human person but a symbol (the crystal exarch). ig it's his solitary focus on salvation bc even though he bakes lyna a cake for her bday and it turns out badly i like struggle to imagine him doing anything mundane or anything that isn't crystally or exarchy. i have to rotate him more idk. how he's also self-serving despite thinking so lowly of himself is interesting to me too. and i like how all of this is symbolised by how he'll have to reconcile this current version of himself with his past self, that is reimagine himself as a living flesh and blood person, in order to get out of the crystal vessel (symbolism?) hes currently inside of. whether he does idk yet im still playing post-shb so plz dont say.

i think im running out of space rip my thoughts on elidibus and the final hades fight (they should have just made it emet-selch, hades carries too many preconceptions so it felt random to me but maybe im just greedy and i've spared too much thoughts abt this guy already)

oh shit i also wanted to talk about how the more i learn about the ascians the more i'm convinced the imperialism in this game is just a waste of space and time and effort in this game but well. huge tangent. i genuinely just pretend its not there

last thoughts i'm convinced the finality of so many of the events is like.... was this supposed to be the final part of the ffxiv story..... the cinematic fight with hades/ how you beat him using the power of friendship/the heroes gauntlet duty where everyone you've helped in the first comes to your aid/fight against the original warrior of light....? etc. like it definitely all feels so final. why are there expansions after this......................like why bother.......shb did it all

[dragon-fuccer]

Hi!!! If u're reading this u're probably the author of this absolutely amazing fic ✨

And if u're not, go read it;!! It's so good u won't regret it<33

First some fanart jumpscare !!! (I hope u're ok w it bc I haven't asked for permission 😭)

It's just how I imagine Jack to look with a few smaller headcannons based on the fic, and there will be more fic related doodles soon, so prepare for that >;D (ofc as long as u're ok with it!!)

Second, the thing I lured ya here with, aka mine n my bfs ocs, art and description for ya to use in the fic if u want to ^^

TYSM for this offer, both me and my bf feel hella honored and it actually gave us a ton of motivation to actually expand on these two!

Tws : body horror, brief description of violence n death, mentioned suicide and brief description of murder

Smokey belongs to my bf and Something is mine !

Normal text is all written by me and green text was written by him ^^

Art and design by my dearly beloved:

Smokey

Real name : Victor Wilson

Age : around 26 yo

possible victor lore

used to be victor by marble hornets standards known as smokey

a dropout uni student with raging nicotine addiction (smokey did not retain any uni info but vic used to be psych student (projecting much lol))

prolly watched marble hornets with friends for fun and against better judgement decided to give a visit to rosswood park thinking its a film project in the beginning

turns out its not and they spotted the lanky guy

smokey the horror movie enthusiast wants out at that point before shize goes down but its late and they r deep in the forest so comes to conclusion they r all p much dead at this point

peeps want to go hunt for the lanky man cus cool and internet views

my guy is like f that yall r following basic horror lore of everyone dies im not playin like that and straight up says hes not going and hed rather go and sleep in the burned down psych ward

he gets called a wimp but decides if hes gonna die hes not dying an idiot and decides to vidtape everything on his mid tier phone camera

not sure what happens to the rest but they do their meet cute w slendy and prolly with time like half of em ends up in the arko e way or another

smokey manages most of the night fine but like luck would have it still end up meeting the guy

does not go well

wakes up in the burned down hospital not remembering the last unknown time and broken phone beyond repair

decides oho this is bad lets go back to uni and never talk abt it

meets with most friends back at uni but like 2 of em r missing and they just pretend nothing happened, friend group dissolves

after that he starts slowly having memory gaps, waking up in other places

all comes to head when it turns out he missed 5 months of uni after he wakes up back in rosswood really far from home and skinnier than ever and suddenly no more uni student

after that victor surfaces less and less till hes just kinda gone at that point

Smokey first shows up the night victor goes with friends to rosewood

in the beginning surfaces confused unsure who they are and what is their purpose

with time smokey goes through both phone and computer of vics

binges whole marble hornets in one sitting and decides he has a personal vendetta against the operator

since then they work on somehow stoping it (and terribly fails given the lack of information) leading to continuous trips back to rosewood and sleepovers in the rubble of the ex psych ward

figuring out the nicotine addiction takes a bit of time and leads to pretty nasty withdrawal symptoms as well as a very wrecked dorm room (he does find the cigarettes tho and is smart enough to connect the dots (smart cookie, here have a star sticker))

smokey learns asl and isolates themself a lot in the months of operator research

he still maintains two personas to some extends which is one the masked smokey who uses mostly asl and rarely speaks (to some extent also a tactic against being caught by police) and times when he goes without mask on library searches and grocery shoppings

smokey starts a yt channel dedicated to catching the operator and ending it which attracts at best some people commenting on obvious marble hornets ripoff and few cents into his wallet

with passing time they do start finding victims in order to keep themselves alive n appease the the big slinky leading to series of alleged suicides then turned to series of murders

he starts off with two of his ex friends who go back to rosewood and start showing symptoms he learned from mh

When they commit murder they hide in the trunk of the car and basically hotbox the whole thing due to smoking making the victim whoozy and confused, moving on they connect a pipe (like garden hose or whatevs) to the exhaustion pipe and suffocate their victims with the car smoke

the thing that tips off the police is the nicotine in the system of every victim and an account of almost to be one that got stalked by smokey who upon being discovered (also while smoking and which earned him the name) decided to bolt

since then he continues on just about the same, aka researching the operator, finding new victims and surviving untill they meet Something

His hoodie is dark green, the mask is greyish from the grime n dirt, the big cross on it is black so are his pants and hair

Something

Real name : Rae Dyer

Age : 23 before transformation, currently unknown

Something used to be a cryptid fan. They worked at a radio station and had a small night show where they played old rock and often rambled about the latest creature they heard about. While out, looking for a new creature to maybe see, they stumbled upon the Slenderman and became obsessed to document it somehow, quickly spiraling out of control and slowly, bit by bit became a creature themselves.

Something doesn't remember much from it's past life. It used to just wander, guided by the static in it's head towards it's victims, always terrified itself but not knowing why. After Smokey found it, they started wandering together. At first they had serious communication issues - Something only able to speak in tap code and Smokey mainly using ASL - but with time they learned to speak with each other, and now they can understand the other almost without words.

Something doesn't really eat, it survives on fear and between itself and Smokey, it always has more than enough of it. It does steal food for Smokey tho, cigarettes as well, usually leaving them in whatever ruined building he decided to stay in for the night. Something got also addicted to nicotine by just being around Smokey so much, leading to separation anxiety fueled by withdrawal when they're apart.

Something cannot speak, and can only communicate using tap code. When it's particularly worried or scared it does emit a small noise, that sounds like a particularly breathy whine, and more commonly when it tries to speak, quiet spider like ticking can be heard coming from it's mouths.

It usually walks hunched over, used to having to duck under branches, entryways, etc bc of it's height.

Something has pale skin reminiscent of porcelain, and is usually wearing a v neck sweater with a white undershirt and jeans or other pants. It's hair is very thin and scarce, floating around it's head down to it's lower back

Also a tiny doodle bonus of how I imagine these two showing up on Jacks doorstep xjbxbcbcb

We think the most probable case of them showing up would be Smokey getting bonked on a mission (probably by a car or a would be victim) and Something bringing them over to Jacks cabin to get pached up, tho feel free to do something else ya might think fits =w=

Again, thank you so much for the offer, we're both so honored to have the opportunity to show these two off and maybe if you're so inclined getting them a chapter in ur amazing fic<3

If u have any questions you need answered Abt the two don't hesitate to ask them as well! ^^

-Kai n Bean

[ichorblossoms]

🫵 Get uno reversed. Tell me about Honeybee!! What's up with Grimm and Yarrow!!

HAIIIIII !!!! OKAY SO i did write about the general premise of honeybee and it's three parts before here. that's the basic "what the fuck are you talking about mintt" intro that i have locked and loaded now for if people ever ask me what the fuck it is i'm being so mentally ill about

AS a story itself, i envision honeybee as an illustrated novel of sorts, told in a semi-linear way. because i apparently cannot be a normal person who wants to tell stories in normal ways. the illustrations and whatnot will need to be decently worked out once i get a solid first draft of the story written, but i currently want to do something like this with the pages where instead of traditional illustrations it's something more akin to comic panels

(caveat that this is a mockup with first-draft unedited writing (with <placeholders>) and quick doodles. this is as not-final as it gets dshgklfdhlgh)

colors not final and this is definitely NOT the art style i'll be using for honeybee, i just needed to convey my ideas dhklghdflkg also i do want to get really fun and funky with the layouts but this was with csp and not like. indesign so it'll be a whole Process come time to actaully tell the final version of honeybee hdklghfdlg

basically i want to have the best of both worlds where i can get into grimm and yarrow's heads when i need to (it's written in third-person limited in both of their povs depending on the chapter/scene), while also showing things as they happen bc i feel like there are crucial moments in the story that hit harder when you see the characters reacting rather than what's going through their heads in the moment? this also is fully bc i'm a visual artist before a writer, but the nature of reading comics means people generally will consume the story faster, so i want to disrupt that a bit

like i said, i'm still on the first draft of the story, so i have a general arc of where i want things to go and land, but i'm still figuring out a LOT of the in-between details. the out-of-date thought-vomit outline is at almost 11k words, while the actual first draft is at 43.5k, which is…..mmmmmaybe about 1/3 of the way done…..? idk, there's a lot of stuff i want to say and do with the story that i haven't yet, so i truly don't know how long the full draft will be. i also think i'm gonna end up trimming a lot of what i currently have written and i also have scenes that have completely changed but. gotta get a draft down first

AS for grimm and yarrow well. god where do i start. they kind of have a different dynamic in each part of the story. p1 is about two strangers—one who gives without thinking and another who has received so little kindness—getting to know one another and learning about how the world is both kinder and crueler than they expect. p2 is about two people who knew one another but are sort of strangers again trying to open themselves up to trusting one another despite a number of personal issue on both ends, and how the process of doing that fucking hurts both parties, but, in the case of these two at least, results in both of them being the happiest they've been in a long, long time. p3 is about two people who are madly in love with one another trying to wreak havoc on the people responsible for getting in the way of that. they drive me bonkers fuckin yonkers for different reasons on their own AND together. yeehaw

briefly back to what i mentioned earlier abt the story being told semi-linearly: p3 is the "present day" of the story, so despite me calling it "part three", honeybee as a work opens with the beginning of p3. from there the story flips between the past (parts 1 and 2), as it is told chronologically, and the present. this is bc i want to make it abundantly clear from the get go that the two of them are so in love with one another and this is a story about both how they got there and what the fuck they're doing now

i could go on about a lot of things here for a lot of time bc i've been hyperfixating on trying to build/tell this story for almost a year and a half now, but i'm gonna call it with the post now bc if i don't, it will dissolve into even more rambling (but you are welcome to ask follow-up questions. no pressure though hfkghldf)

[beware-of-eels]

Rajbow AU where Bowie and Emma go ice skating during free skate hours at the rink Raj and Wayne work part time to help cover hockey costs

except instead of being bad at it, Bowie fully knowing how to skate- instead faking a minor (graceful) fall so that the cute rink employee with the eyebrows comes over to help him up and check on him. And maybe get his number

Got carried away thinking about this in detail so if you want the longer babbly almost-a-fic version it's under the cut lmao

[disclaimer: everything ik abt ice rinks is from going to the one at the mall like. maybe three times in my life bdbsbnxnd. I live in Texas] [i've also literally never written fanfic and so am not much of a writer but this kind of possessed me when i was bored at work so if the dialogue is bad or ooc and the tense is all off.... no its not lmao]

Anyways - Emma's decided she's going to invest in hobbies that she DIDN'T share with chase, something completely separate and away from him -- chase thinks its to impress him bc of course he does. someone send this boy to detention--and drags Bowie along "so she's not alone, obviously"

good friend that he is, Bowie goes with, and especially bc Bowie DOES know how to skate - pretty well actually. he's no figure skater/hockey player/etc, but if Bowies going to do anything in public he's going to do it well. he can make his way around the rink with ease, manage a little fancy footwork when he wants to, enough to pull a minor trick out of his hat. besides, what's the point of doing something if you can't show off a little bit? never hurts to catch someone's eye, or establish yourself to your peers as someone who knows what they're doing -- and really, Bowie's counting on his reputation to ensure those prom votes.

what Bowie didn't count on was the cute hockey boy that was handing off skate rentals to blush and stammer so sweetly when he flirted with him for the hell of it. and he really didn't count on said cute hockey boy having a shift change and heading onto the rink to fill in as ice monitor pretty soon after he and Emma start skating. Even in the flourescent lighting the boy is cute, and it doesn't take a genius to see how hockey has bulked him up - and he really was so endearing when he was flustered- so Bowie figures why not try his hand at a little more fun. And really, what better way to shoot his shot than to fake needing a little extra help from a buff hockey player?

Naturally Wayne and Raj work their stations together - their manager had tried to separate them once and was QUICK to never make that mistake again - so when they've switched out with their coworkers handling skate rentals, they're immediately out on the ice together, as loud and rambunctious as they can get away with without reprimand

if Raj is a little (not-so) secretly excited to maybe see the cute boy that winked at him earlier - Yknow, bc it made him feel excited! ...whatever that meant - then that's between him, Wayne, and the hockey gods. otherwise hes just pumped to be on the ice with his best bud. They're making their rounds, keeping an eye out for anything dangerous or against the rules that they might have to intervene, and otherwise yelling hockey metaphors and mutual encouragement as loudly as they can get away with

and right when Wayne has to slip away to separate a couple of kids trying to trip eachother, Bowie decides to makes his move

He gives emma the heads up that he's gonna slow down and try something, and does his best to fall as gracefully as he can - maintaining the look of competence is still important after all - while still doing so loud enough to garner the cute hockey boy's - Rajie?- attention. He sits on the ice a second longer than he strictly necessary, and by the time he's ready to stand back up Raj is there holding out a steady hand, bushy eyebrows pulled together in concern.

"oh my god are you okay - here I'll help you up" He looks so worried for a moment that Bowie almost feels bad for lying. Almost.

"well i'm much better now" Bowie throws the boy another wink, earning him the exact flustered face Raj had responded with before. Forget subtlety if that's the reaction he was going to get by being forward, "but I do think my ankle could use a little TLC - care to help me get somewhere to sit down?

"Uh yes! Yes of course, thats. thats what I'm here for!" Raj can feel his face heating up as he stammers under the gaze of the boy in front of him "I'm Raj, uh by the way"

And isn't he just too cute "I'm Bowie, it's nice to meet you"

Raj quickly signals to Wayne the general situation, and then solidifies himself into position to help Bowie up without falling himself. after that it doesn't take too much finagling to get bowie back up to his feet and leaning heavily on raj's shoulder and the two of them start to slowly make their way back off of the rink. Bowie can't help but smile a bit- he was absolutely right about Raj being buff, and he couldn't wait to see what else he had in store.

Raj, nervous about having a cute boy so close to him suddenly, does what he does best - fall into Hockey talk - or in this case, hockey adjacent. Hockey could be a dangerous sport - he'd helped teammates with ankle sprains plenty of times! It would probably help Bowie feel better to know that Raj has this handled "We'll have to check which part of your ankle hurts once we sit you down - just to make sure it's not a fracture. You can lean on me more if you need! its uh, you don't want to put too much pressure on it until we can take a look at it. I should have some extra stuff in my bag to wrap it up if its a sprain, and then I can see if we still have ice packs in the first aid kit! Hopefully it's just a sprain, but dont worry if it's worse I'll still make sure you're okay! When me and wayne - that's my buddy - were kids, I fractured my arm pretty bad at practic-"

Bowie had seen already that Raj was a little nervous talking to him, if plenty enthusiastic. But the sweetness of his scramble to comfort Bowie for an injury that hadn't even occured - not that he had to know that - was invigorating none the less. There was a genuineness to the boy that was refreshing, and he was sure if he was actually hurt, he would be feeling calmed and comforted by his babbling. If not for the talk about first aid, then for the earnestness in Raj's telling of his own past injuries on the ice.

Raj doesn't realize he's still talking until he's helping Bowie sit down on a bench outside near the skate rental area. "oh sorry if that was too much - I'm gonna go get the first aid kit then I'll be right back!"

He walked off quickly, glad for the chance to take a breather, and keep his head from being clouded by sharp eyes and quit witted flirting. Not to mention the bold choice of Bowie to wear a crop top to go ice skating. It certainly did look nice on him

Once Raj returns, he leans down and carefully begins checking Bowies ankle for anything serious - slowly pressing on the skin and rotating the foot to gauge maneuverability. Satisfied with Bowie's assessment that the pain wasn't too bad, he got to work wrapping his foot - Raj wasn't going to let shoddy first aid exacerbate the problem.

Looking down at the hockey player in front of him, Bowie gets to work on his own interests. "Thank you for all your help - usually I consider myself a pretty good skater, but oh well. I guess one person can't be fantastic at everything all the time," he punctuated with a large sigh, wiggling his toes when Raj motions for him to.

"Oh I'm sure you're always fantastic! I've been skating since I could walk and even I still take a tumble from time to time - that doesn't mean you aren't great! I guess mine usually come from bad checks though eh? Oh because I play hockey! I don't remember if I told you that-- A-anyways, I didn't really get to see you skate before you fell but I'm sure you're incredible. I mean you seem incredible. At skating! I mean"

Raj finally cuts himself off, hoping to end the awkardness of his own rambling. All he had to do was finish wrapping up Bowie's ankle and exit the interaction with minimal blushing - he could do that! He could hear Wayne's voice hyping him up in his head - was a snow owl, he'd faced goons bent on injuring and cross checks more than even made sense for a highschool league - he could handle getting through a conversation with a cute boy. Even if said cute boy had long eyelashes and a knowing smile and a pearl necklace expertly framing his neck.

Bowie of course could not be more pleased - it seems Raj was more than just fun to fluster. He was sweet and earnest and clearly passionate about hockey - enough that Bowie found himself actually looking forward to hearing more of Raj's confusing hockey lingo, if it meant seeing that focused look in his eyes when he started getting carried away.

"Well if you really think so, maybe you'd like to see how incredible I am some other time - when you're not working, of course"

"For sure dude! That sounds like loads of fun!" Raj's agreement comes out enthusiastic, until he look down at Bowies ankle in his hands, freshly wrapped and now with an ice pack to match "But not until your ankle's healed up - skating's great but you won't be able to if you hurt your ankle worse by pushing it." The sudden intensity of his expression betraying how seriously the boy takes his sport.

Bowie stifles a laugh "It really doesn't hurt that much, but deal. Maybe you can show me some of your fancy hockey moves while we're at it" he said liltingly. and theres that blush again, hard to see on his skin but clear as day to the boy who triggered it "in the meantime though -can I get your number?"

Raj answers without even taking a beat "Oh I'm number 8! On the snow owls, I'm actually alternate capt-" he's cut off by a gentle hand on his own where it's still holding the ice pack.

"I actually meant your phone number" bowie's ecpression is nothing but kind, so Raj doesn't feel quite so clueless when he manages out a

"Right! yes, right - here let me see your phone"

the two boys quickly exchange numbers, as Bowie continues his previous thought "But I'd love to hear all about your hockey team on our date"

"Yeah! ha, that sounds good."

The two of them stay a moment just to smile at one another, before the moment is broken-

"RAJIE! Are you doin okay there bud? Do you need some help?" "Don't worry Wayners! I'll be over in a sec!"

Raj turns back to Bowie, sheepish "I uh, gotta get back to work, do you have somebody that can take you home safe?"

Bowie presses a quick peck to his cheek, "I've got a friend here with me, no need to worry about little ole me. I'll see you soon though, handsome"

And again that blush. Raj manages to stammer through a goodbye before trudging back to the ice - doing a quick lap around at full speed to release some of his energy before returning to his best friends side. He'd tell Wayne all about it later, for now he was just doing his best not to smile too hard.

Eventually Emma finds her way to Bowie sat on a bench, carefully tying his shoes back over a newly bandaged ankle.

"sooo how'd it go? you didn't really hurt your ankle did you? because you know I'd feel awful for bringing you here if you got hurt and didn't even get a cute boy's number out of it"

"No on the injury, Yes on getting his number - let's head back to your house, I'll catch you up on the ride home"

"Yes! well I'm glad one of us had a good time - after you left Chase walked by - how did he even know we were here? He's so -"

Bowie tunes out the rest of his friends rant, he'd heard this before, and he was sure she'd forgive him for not listening if he told her he was thinking about his upcoming date with Raj. The boy really was too good, and Bowie hadn't even really had to work very hard to find that out. He found himself throwing in an occasional remark to keep Emma going as they walked, thinking about the intensity with which Raj clearly loved sports, about the simple sincerity in the way that he talked. This really could be the start of something special

Yep, the trip to the ice rink had gone better than imagined. He just needed to admit to Raj that he had fallen on purpose and all would be well.

After they were on their date, of course.

[rollercoasterwords]

10 books!! :•)

ty 4 the tag @otrtbs (+ @serethereal i'm just doing it on this blog) <3 here r 10 books 2 get 2 know me

1. a history of glitter and blood, by hannah moskowitz

favorite book of. all time probably. first read this when i was like 16 i think and since then i've reread it about once a year. keep waiting for it to like...hit me less hard but every time i read it i am still v much moved in the same sort of way that i was the first time!!

2. the last unicorn, by peter s. beagle

feel like this story is like. integral 2 me as a person. first encountered it in the form of the 1982 movie as a child + then discovered it was a book in high school. there are differences between the two of course but the central themes are the same + i do think the ending like. permanently altered my brain as a child such that it has shaped my worldview ever since

3. the archive of alternate endings, by lindsey drager

newest addition 2 the list!! just read this book like a month ago and it was so good that it now has a place of honor on my favorites list <3 made me full-body sob but is like. so exactly perfect for me as a book that it felt like it was written 4 me

4. animorphs, by k.a. applegate

surprisingly not a childhood series 4 me bc i watched one episode of the tv show they made in the 90s + it scared me so much that i never touched the books. however i read the entire series in college and. it is now one of my favorite works of literature ever.

5. gormenghast, by mervyn peake

this book means a lot 2 me personally bc it's like. tied 2 my dad 4 me <3 he's a big reader but our tastes only have a small overlap, so it's not super often that we'll both love the same book. but when i was in high school i was looking for something 2 read + he pulled gormenghast off his bookshelf + was like try this nobody's ever heard of it bc peake is not well-known but it's like. sprawling dark fantasy. + it ended up being one of the most beautiful + unique stories i have ever read <3

6. you too can have a body like mine, by alexandra kleeman

a favorite satire <3 love kleeman's writing style + the sort of weird suburbia-horror of this story

7. the man who laughs, by victor hugo

generally speaking i am not a big ~classics~ person however. my final year of hs this was the book i chose for my like big final english paper + it's like. the first book i really had 2 study on a deeper level + i loved all the twisting symbolism + the tragedy of it all

8. six of crows, by leigh bardugo

technically this is 2 books bc i'm thinking of the entire duology but. yeah <3 fave like. fun fantasy story 2 reread when i want a book that makes me feel like i'm watching a movie while i read it. also love love love all the characters <3

9. this is how you lose the time war, by max gladstone and amal el-mohtar

first time i read this book i felt like my brain was melting!!! so short but the exact kind of story that i love; sort of scrambled poetic writing style + weird dark fantasy + sci-fi elements

10. no future: queer theory and the death drive, by lee edelman

i actually. do not recommend this book as it is so dry + dense and an absolute slog 2 read. however it makes the list bc encountering lee edelman's writing abt reproductive futurity + the death drive was like. top 10 life-altering moments that fundamentally changed the way i think in college. so!!!

no-pressure tags: @steelycunt @dykefever @pomegranate-pill @suspendedinbush @mayescapade :•)

[bright-and-burning]

HELLO MY DARLING 💛✨ i am here to humble request a directors commentary on our beloved curly girl lando - specifically the beginning!! (but tbh i’d love you to talk about anything you want) i loved so much how you just plopped us as readers right into the moment aaaaa

thank you for the humble request <3 (under the cut again bc this will probs get long and probs get a little nsfw)

so the plopping right in the moment is in large part bc i had never written porn before and i was staring at a blank doc going 'just start somewhere. anywhere, eve. doesn't have to be the beginning.' the first words of the fic are literally the first words i wrote!

once i'd written way more i decided i actually really liked that being the beginning. cuz in the first four lines it sets up like, pretty much everything? at least vibes wise. 1st line is abt oscar's hands, 2nd is kind of abt asking permission, or w/e, 3rd is like oh hey it's blowjobs ! and 4th is the infamous hairbrush!

and beyond the first four lines, the next chunk is really doing a lot of heavy lifting in showing off their dynamic, their characterization, that kind of thing. "Oscar can tell she's not really joking" -> he knows her pretty decently! "Oscar’s still a bit lost, to be honest, but it’s not the strangest thing he’s met her halfway on." -> not only does he know her pretty well, he both knows her well enough and likes her enough to be compromising on a lot of stuff and clearly some Weird Stuff.

it's a lot of establishment of how much they're both gagging for it (oscar being like hold on i have a comb please let that work [and the comb being unused lol], lando being smug as hell at making him react but then sucking dick like she'll die without it) but also that while they have been hooking up for a bit ("Spit-slick and urgent like always, how she gets when she’s come and wants to return the favor."), this isn't something that's happened very often (oscar not quite knowing what to do with his hands, where he's allowed to put them, etc)

i think adding some sort of set up (what were they doing before this? how did they end up in the hotel room? how did they get to lando sucking his dick? these were all questions i very much so did not have answers to for much of writing this lol) would've slowed everything way down? and like, yeah it's heavily alluded to that oscar gets lando off Several times right before this which wouldve been fun to write and also was not something i knew happened when i initially wrote the first few lines, but the goal/the way i got the idea for this fic really was like. ok lando's a girl and has long curly hair, let's get into the logistics here bc from experience there is a surprising amount of logistics to get into. no non-hair-related plot necessary. it doesn't matter, exactly, how they ended up in oscar's hotel room the night after a race (in this intro. ch2 is a different story).

WAIT OMG. i just found my original idea notes copied over from my dms to @beechersnope from like. november. lol. shoutout to him for listening to my madness months before it was anything coherent:

basically everything that happened Before the first line was like. vague hand wavey to me and only became more clear as i wrote further. and bc of that it's explained/alluded to over time instead of up front? and i decided it worked better that way, if only bc i didn't feel like my skills were up to the task of writing that set up without it being clunky as all hell

[chocosvt]

hi choco! i'm so excited to see you back on my tl; i've missed you and your god-tier fics & i'm super duper excited to read your wonwoo fic as well (140k words? we will all be well fed fr 🤲)

i had a little rant? not exactly rant but something that's been itching my mind a bit haha, i hope you don't mind me sharing it with you! i genuinely want some advice over this.

as a long fic writer, how do you consistently come back to writing your fic without getting bored? i looooove writing long fics too (big lover of slowburn and angst lol) but i always get so impatient and bored of writing the story so quickly :(

i'd posted a teaser for a fic a while back and it got a good amount of traction (something i will always be grateful for) and someone asked me when i would release the full fic, to which i gave them a tentative date. fast forward to the day before the day i said i would post the fic and you have me typing out paragraphs upon paragraphs of stuff that i absolutely loathe in my writing. i ended up posting the fic anyway, but it's been only a day and i already want to take it down—not bc it's not getting any attention, because it is, but more so bc i hate that fic and would do anything to rewrite it.

iirc your joshua fic, 'best friend's brother' was a rewrite of a fic you'd written earlier, right? was your thought process similar to this? where did you start your rewriting process from? did you have any second thoughts when you took it down the first time?

i'm really sorry if this is too many questions 😅 please take your time if you do choose to answer this! much love and have a great day, choco!!! thank you so much :)

(is it alright if i use an emoji to sign off so i can find this ask later?)

— 🍫

first of all, THANK U SO MUCH <3

and i don't mind at all! these are rly insightful questions :o though i'll just chunk my answers a bit so i'm not all over the place.

not getting bored to be honest, i'm not sure if i ever "get bored" of writing out the plot. but i definitely get burnt out, and sometimes i get downright sick of reviewing my own writing, to the point where i just have to close my laptop and walk away. i think the most important & overarching piece of advice i can give--not just in terms of long fics but any fic for that matter--is to never force anything & take breaks!

when i'm busy at uni, there are like 5 month breaks where i don't bother writing at all. i always think that the second i have free time, i should theoretically want to write, but sometimes i just don't. and i make peace with it bc i know the second i force anything i will end up hating it (also takes the fun & enjoyment out of the process).

i think if you're getting bored, it's probably a sign that your body & mind just isn't interested in writing at the moment. so i would step away & take a break and attempt to get your mind off the plot. i think that taking a break also invigorates your mind a bit and gives you newer, better ideas (at least from my experience).

bfb rewrite the reason i rewrote best friend's brother was bc the og fic was from 2016, when my writing style was completely different. i still liked the concept but naturally, as my writing grew, i just detested the way the old ver was written, which spurred me to create the rewrite.

i wanted to give the characters a lot more depth & beef up the plot, so the new fic is actually a lot different in comparison to the old one. i wasn't attempting to do a scene-for-scene rewrite--it was simply just my approach to an old concept that i felt i could now execute better.

as to how i went abt rewriting it, i just picked out moments from the old fic that i liked and built around them. for instance, i rly liked the "skipping stones" scene that shows some intimacy & tenderness between joshua and reader. but it can't just happen out the gate. so i had to figure out the typical "why, when, and how is this moment happening right now?" from scratch.

the thing with long fics for me, it honestly is a test of patience & dedication!! bc it can truly be so frustrating :( a lot of times, you want to jump right into the good parts bc those are like the shiny glimmers that make the fic attractive. but depending on how impactful you want those moments to be, build-up is sooooo key! the thing is, build-up is just so critical in my opinion, but it can also be such a pain to write :p

i find when i review my writing, these are scenes i criticize or change the most--more than the big, hard-hitting scenes. bc to me, it's such a specific thing that you have to nail down justttt right. it's a lot of thinking and finagling and i think this process is what i dread the most? especially when it refuses to turn out how you want it--ugh, so discouraging!! but once you get it's like a silky flowy river!!

the big takeaways (i guess?) 1. taking breaks is so important! 2. don't force anything xxxx 3. take the big moments & build around them i totallyyyyy understand your frustration!! there have been so many moments where i'm like I NEED TO WRITE AHHHHH and then i promptly open the document only to sit there, blankly read a few sentences, and then get this rly big sinking feeling in my gut that is essentially telling me "never mind" and honestly i just listen to it bc if i'm gonna close & open the document 10 times in a row i obviously don't want to write. i'm just searching for something fulfilling and clearly not finding it in the task at hand so i should do smth else.

THIS IS EXTREMELY LENGTHY AND I''M BEYOND SORRY, but i hope somewhere amongst this mumbo jumbo there was something that stood out & may give you a bit of closure!

[snezario]

oookay now that i finally posted that lil one-shot, i just want to say a couple things (under the cut)

i am eternally grateful for the snezbin community and just general support overall. i really have not been active snzblr for the past ~5 yrs so it was rly nice to have the validation for my writing/hcs/etc AND share the snzblr brain cell for once.

i don't have any other snzfic planned atm bc i'm completely brainrotted for this vanilla fic i started writing. which is also why the ficlet i just posted, despite being pretty short, took so long. it's my first ever vanilla fic and i'm having such a blast writing it. i can also see it being at least 20-30k words and being the slow, insecure writer i am, it's a pretty monumental task i've put myself to.

i will say i have thought about turning it into a sick/snzfic for my own self-indulgence but i want to finish the original first. i'm hesistant to bring it here because 1) it leans into an al ship 2) i enjoy the nigh complete anonymity that i have posting on ao3.

that being said, i don't want to completely shut myself off from snz requests. i never explicitly said it but i'm generally open to requests, just as long as you know it may or may not happen. writing motivation has always been finicky for me and the fact that i've written this much in the past 3 months is actually quite astounding to me.

another side note, bc of this hyperfixation, i started dipping my toe into rp more and it's been rly fun! i'm open to doing that as well for any fandom i'm apart of (check my pinned post/dm me if you're interested). i've done a bit of vanilla and snz rp so i'd be happy to do either :>

this hyperfixation rly just took off with my soul and said you're going to think abt this show, the tv and deer demon, and the VAs, 24/7 for an unforeseen amount of time.

[beatcroc]

@midnightcityx0x0 I'm not reblogging that fuckmassive post AGAIN but this got too long for a reply so. On its own post now

Anyway i actually have so much trouble thinking of anything for gustavo ever lmao. Everything i have for him I've adopted from other people; rem [brickattack] as mentioned on the big post, and @synthlet/softersynths for a lot of other things. [and a couple others too but iirc synths was the one who started those ppl on it as well gfjdjds] which is to say, you'd probably get better/more interesting answers from those guys :p but yeah, fp and gus are pretty close. It's the general exposure/familiarity, the fact that fp is just a happy/pleasant and easy-to-like dude personality-wise, and for gus specifically there's also a level of "he shares a lot of traits with peppino, without peppino's Baggage™"

that last point is very very interesting but i dont know if i'd Actually get to doing a lot with it bc i typically make fake pep His Own Guy, with his similarities to peppino being almost sort of coincidental. i really really really like coming at peppino and fake pep from the "equals and opposites" angle, which like, that Can still apply for that last bit abt gus, but it's not something i've put a lot of thought into. it's also just fuckin hard to articulate outside of just showing it lmao. [i mentioned like, predator/prey animal nervousness + their reactions to fear vs aggression on the other post but to pull one for here: fake pep still has his own brand of Baggage to deal with too--different stuff than peppino's--but fp is way more open about it when it comes up as opposed to peppino having 50 fuckin walls about everything.

besides that, i also see a lot of general banter about gus being a very Nature Guy™ who likes to find beauty in all the weird fucked up shit nature does [especially in a world as cartoony as theirs], which i enjoy a lot bc girl same. fp may be the farthest thing from natural, but i certainly think there is a lot of beauty to be found in his fucked-up-ness. and i'm sure gustavo sees it too.

and then a fun one i've come into pretty recently for them is that they both care abt peppino a lot, but peppino is very bad at...being cared for. so because you can rarely approach pep directly about anything if it involves vulnerability [again: 50 fuckin walls], and because they both know him very well in different ways and can get through to him about different things, they end up working together a lot in sort of a conspiratory way. plotting scheming etc. 'have you noticed anything wrong lately + how are we going to help this guy out today', that sort of thing. the idea there can go a lot of ways but i'm partial to them using like goofy cartoon antics to set him up for something that'll be beneficial to him. [also brick is in on it too technically but brick is a rat and therefore only sapient when it's funny.] peppino rarely realizes what theyre doing until it's too late. get loved idiot

TANGENTIAL. DONT even get me started on the angst oh my god. you. i am pointing at you you made me think about this. i am not usually one who likes doing angst or making things excessively bad for the hell of it but. a bitch may be considering. under cut bc its unrelated to gustavo stuff but this is as good an excuse as any to share. [+ also extra thoughts on it bc of COURSE]

so i said that at the end there but then a few hours later i found myself toying around with a script and getting a good way to set it up.... im hoping i hit a roadblock on it and drop it because if i DO end up getting it all the way written i will definitely end up drawing it at some point and that would be uh... a big undertaking. it would also be one of the last ones i do bc there's other stuff i still want to build on, so IF, i cannot stress enough IF i go to make it a thing for real, it won't be this year.

for the bits i have so far though it's interesting how much it's shaping up to be like. a showcase of just how well peppino knows fp. which is surprisingly well? even better than gus, despite gus' being WAY more emotionally perceptive. peppino doesn't engage with fp more than necessary and rarely acts interested in his business, but i do think he spends a lot of time just... observing him. if only because pep is neurotic and anxious and fp is weird and freaky so it is a constant thing of "ok what the hell is this. is this something i need to be worried about?" whenever fp is doing shit, and the answer is always ''no'', but it's the sort of instinct that never leaves you yknow. so he's just very familiar with all fp's mannerisms and reactions and whatnot, even if he doesn't really use that knowledge much.......except when things go south. he's a lot more perceptive of fp acting 'wrong' or 'off' compared to gus, who would just be seeing it on a more normal 'aw he looked upset' kind of level.

i talk a lot abt fp's nervousness but the other negative thing that's just as strong with him is frustration. it doesn't usually get to him too bad, and he doesn't really show it around people outside of the occasional eyeroll; but it's stuff like not being able to communicate properly with anyone and getting constantly [negatively] misinterpreted; knowing he's Kinda Shite at his "purpose" [i.e. being 'better peppino' or whatever] and not being able to do anything about it [i don't think he cares about that much any more but i imagine it's still gotta be a bit annoying to remember]; not getting closure for like Anything that happened at the tower, etc... and while i DON'T think this would be the kind of thing to make him go berserk [i still don't really have any idea or framing for that lol; the script starts off a couple weeks in the aftermath and i pointedly don't do flashbacks], it's definitely the kind of thing that would get exacerbated by isolation. the kind of thing that's easy to focus on and spiral about without anyone to ground him; the kind of thing that could keep him from thinking clearly and he might just need to Take It Out on something after awhile.

peppino remains a terrible mediator but he is wildly resilient and tenacious, and if you need a guy to slap some sense into you... i mean he can very literally do that, and do it better than just about anyone.

[jakowskis]

Day 22 - Discuss Owen. Opinions? Favorite moment? Least favorite moment? Any unpopular opinions? Any fun headcanons?

under the cut for length xD

im actually gonna try to keep this short bc g-d knows like 80% of my brain power’s gone into constantly babbling about owen for the last year. so im gonna speed run this. main opinion? he’s character of all time to me. hes mentally ill hes mean he thinks love is weakness he loves so hard he’d burn down the world for it hes a bitch he cares for his friends sooo much hes good at his job hes bad at his job. hes misogynistic hes a woman hes homophobic hes gay he prioritizes casual sex hes a little bit in love with all his friends hes tries to save others he wants to be saved hes wants to die he gets angry when hes killed he wants to contribute something good he destroys everything he touches hes loyal to a fault he judas’d jack. everyone he loves leaves him he nearly destroyed the world to keep from being abandoned his parents didnt want him his mom never liked him. hes just some guy he’s the most insane bitch to ever exist. hes transmasc shes butch hes a straight guy she could be the worst woman ever hes a bi imbicile. hes mean and bitter and angry and awful and he tries to remind everyone and himself of it but hes good hes good hes good in the end.

other opinions uh… i think the writing handles him irresponsibly at times, and is disrespectful towards him, although maybe they thought it was justified cuz hes an ass sdjkfhds. but the undead arc is fucking mean to him in a lot of places. dmw in particular is like… idk it just strikes a particular tone at his expense, i don’t like it. it’s cruel. but torchwood isn’t exactly a show that respects its characters much. something that particularly bothers me is the way he oscillates between being fucked up and fine in a way that’s like… not realistic, it’s obvious it’s just a writing issue. like, the way he’s magically better and healthier and less of a prick after season 1, and then again after the undead arc. like that’s not how it works. that character growth wasn’t earned. that’s a pet peeve i have, and also kind of why s2 owen exists in a different place in my head as s1 owen. the main owen that lives in my head is him at his worst, not a version of him who’s randomly and inexplicably doing better and being kinder, and as a fic writer i like starting at that unhealthy baseline and trying to actually put the work into making him better, too. lord knows the show didn’t care enough to do it well. then again, it’s torchwood, yknow. the characters aren’t the focus. unfortunately. 

my fav and least fav owen moments are my fav and least fav eps of the whole show fdshfkdjs so they can be found here and here. but tldr, fav moment is everything that happens in the last two eps of s1. least fav is every time he interacts w tosh. lolol. dude i could list sm moments of his that i love i have like five compilations of him on my phone. im ill lmao. there are 11k mentions of his name from me on discord across all my servers ;-; guy im deranged abt fr

unpopular opinions 

i think he’s easily the best written character (not the best character, that's subjective ofc - but i also lowkey think he's the best character. but also im slam dunking him into a dumpster cuz he sucks)

tbh i don’t completely like his backstory? but it is what it is. i just think s2 owen feels very different from s1 owen and they worked so hard to make him more likeable which is nice and all but it’s almost at odds with his original characterization. like i said, s1 owen and s2 owen are practically diff characters to me

mmm and i dont like s2 owen quite as much ;-; i much prefer him in s1. i do like his undead arc though. well. i like aditd. dmw 😒 my beloathed

in general i dont like nice owen fdhfjsdhfkd which i think is an unpopular opinion. im just v picky abt him tbh

i fucking HATE adam!owen he’s not cute. i loathe him. talked about that more here.

(THIS one’s controversial but imho!) him and jack have a very unhealthy + borderline abusive relationship but! it’s in a lowkey fruity way and not a, gag, paternal or brotherly way. ill talk about this more at some point, i wanna do an analysis of their relationship but i don't fully have my thoughts on it together yet. but i think they have smth a bit psychosexual (in the tomgreg definition of the word. where my succession freaks at) going on.

(in general i HATE the fatherly jack & owen angle it makes me super uncomfortable when jack flirts w him in canon. this is the horny show dude. why does authority figure automatically equal father figure to ppl. weird. jack's his commanding officer, guys. also the inherent homoeroticism of being someone's second in command. yknow. he brought him back from the fucking dead, dude. that was fruity with gwen & suzie and it was fruity with jack & owen idc.)

slightly adjacent - i think owen’s a lot gayer than he lets on / than people see him as. i don’t think he’s women-leaning at all, i think he’s more of a 50/50 bi, he’s just got some p heavy internalized issues going on. he’ll sleep with men, if the opportunity presents itself (so he can justify it, lawl), but i think he has issues with the idea of loving and dating one. but i think he’s just as attracted to men as he is to women. 

that being said, i dont think he’d call himself straight. one of my biggest pet peeves is fics where owen’s like “im not gay btw” he wouldnt fucking say that. i think if you asked owen about his sexuality he’d do a hand wavey motion and thatd be that

tosh x owen bad btw ive made my opinion on that clear. i like him with suzie and gwen and martha and even diane, but not tosh. not a cute dynamic. 

and speaking of, he doesnt secretly like tosh lol. ive seen ppl who think he’s secretly very fond of her - i don’t agree with that at all, cuz canon sure says the opposite. he respects her but he doesn't particularly like her very much. (cuz hes a bad taste MORON imagine not liking tosh. what a fucking freak.) which SUCKS i want them to be friends. i want them to be nerd buddies. but nooo. 

in general he’s a “bisexual man who treats women like shit therefore im shipping him w men till he learns be behave” type of character to me

gay love would fix him. btw. i think he needs a boyfriend i think it’d heal him

hcs… i have a lot but a lot of them r private OR i eventually intend to pepper them into my fics so im kind of hoarding them… but i do have some like

for starters he’s a bpd icon

also hes audhd af

he was rlly into punk shit as a teen + played with gender a little bit back then, + sexuality (kissing his guy friends in public to make a statement / piss someone off, that sort of thing). that was kind of his first experience with queerness + figuring himself out + bc of that it was born from a place of defiance that he never fully got over. helped him feel like he was taking back control over smth that made him feel like shit (his mom was. Not an ally. to say the least)

in fact a lot of his behavior is a result of his mom believing he’d always be a fuck up, that he’d never amount to anything. he wears spite like a badge. being a poor kid who became a doctor and getting engaged at 23 were both ‘fuck yous’ to his mom. 

he dabbled in playing drums as a teen (i stole this from burn but i mean owen already canonically skateboards just cuz burn brought his on-set. the rest of burn’s interests owen would probs find dorky tho). he still drums his fingers + pens on his desk a lot this drives everyone crazy. he needs fidget toys

oh he chews on pens also. and hes a chronic leg bouncer. (gwen also has anxious stims actually. if u get those two together on a bad day its a lil cacophony of sound. shes more a nail biting sort tho)

i dont come up with stuff for undead owen much cuz it bums me out but one of my few hcs is he gets rlly into gaming cuz its smth to do. cant skateboard anymore cuz he might hurt himself so he picks up thps *taps temple*. also he shreds at guitar hero but only privately (he thinks its cringe). hes mainly a ps2/ps3 player but tosh builds him a gaming pc (partially just cuz she wants to like the reward of getting to make smth w her hands dhfkdsj). he also gets into doom + postal from his youth again. hes a little more wary of shooter games now that it's his career but also its good for his anger fff

in my owandy verse he has an english bulldog named alfie and he babytalks him but its a very “no one will ever believe you” situation HFSDJHFSDKJFK

i think about owen and pets a lot bc it amuses me <3 i dont think hes a very pet-oriented person but i like the thought of him with reptiles or ferrets. i think he should be a ferret dad. ive been trying to weasel this (ha) into my owento verse bc i think ianto would be displeased. 

ok ill stop before this gets too long.

[7habitsofhighlyeviceratedpeople]

your post bashing the anon who requested mpreg feels a little bad… idk the gender(s) of that anon, but a lot of trans men and masc-presenting people love breeding and/or impregnation as kinks (and many opt for pregnancy irl quite seriously that’s unrelated to kink or fictional plots etc). just doesn’t sit well with me for you to judge that publicly in the way that you did. :(

of course you’re not obligated to write anything you don’t want to, but maybe don’t judge it so harshly like it’s some unheard of, crazy concept.

edit: real tldr it’s better lol. so sorry if it came off that way, i deleted the post if that helps bc i did actually get a dm from a mutual saying that it was actually them who sent it and i feel bad even tho they thought it was understandable bc they literally used such down bad language which idk j kinda made me giggle lolol i thought it would upset someone and i even asked in my discord if i should post it bc i didn’t wanna seem like i was “bashing” them bc i am obviously not i think you’re taking this a little too far. i am literally a trans male and i thought abt that while laughing abt this but i feel like it’s kinda obvious what i was laughing at that. there’s no like “just for friends” feature so i thought not tagging it and showing it was lighthearted and non judgmental/shaming was enough but ig not. i can post my own asks if they make me uncomfortable or laugh or whatever and i made it very obvious i wasn’t shaming and that the post was lighthearted

btw it literally was a screenshot that said “chat :/“ like the “chat is this real” meme bc i can’t stop saying that and then in parentheses a disclaimer abt how i am not shaming bc i think you’re allowed to be into whatever you want and i wouldnt have posted it if it wasn’t anon. sorry again if i offended anyone but i seriously think this isn’t a big deal and ppl need to lighten up a lil i’m not making fun of anyone or kink shaming i am laughing abt an ask IN MY OWN ASKS that someone decided to anonymously ask knowing it could be posted. mpreg is fine but i’m gonna have a lil laugh i’m sorry, the person who sent it isn’t offended and i apologized it offended anyone but i didn’t do shit wrong and i even asked for input in my discord if i should post bc i was scared i was being mean. literally was meant for like the 5 ppl who view my untagged posts i literally do not care what ppl are into and i am not “publicly bashing” anyone.

TLDR: og post was a lighthearted joke and an ask that made me giggle cause of the way it was written, clarified i wasn’t kink shaming and apologized twice in the post. asker is a moot and isn’t hurt and says they understand bc the way they typed it was kinda down bad lmfaoo (which was what i was laughing at) and i’m annoyed bc this person is taking this a little too far and acting like i’m being transphobic and kink shaming when they coulda j dmed me saying it hurt their feelings/has the potential to hurt feelings ! (which i knew and i felt bad typing it and that was very evident in the post but cmon man let me have a lil laugh)

[daz4i]

Hi hi my love!! ^^ So you asked for asks right? :3 I realize a lot of the times when I send you these I tend to ask you to rank stuff lol so I guess I'll lean into it? How about top 5 (or 10 if you have enough) anime series or top 5 (or 10) animated movies? :3 It's pretty general but I figure it should give you a lot of room to go over some of your favorites ^^ Sending love and good wishes!!! ❤️

ehehe thank you my love 🥺👉👈🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

i wanted to do both but then i did the top 5 anime and i got very carried away with my explanations so i kept it as just that. anyway:

1. haikyuu!! probably my favorite show ever tbh. i think hq has a perfect story, like it uses its genre to do everything right, and its impact on the outside world is amazing as well. as for the series itself, it's just beautiful (ignoring that one episode in season 4) and has a very unique style, stellar voice acting, awesome soundtrack, delicious symbolism, and it really gets you hyped for volleyball :P it's very easy to get attached even to the most minor character bc the story is written in a way that lets almost everyone in this HUGE cast (well over a 100 or even 150 named characters, i'm pretty sure) shine, and you're guaranteed to find someone you like. the only downside is you'll probably end up rooting for every team so eventually a team you like will lose a game (likely to another team you like) and that hurts every time fr. and still!!!!! it manages to be so feel-good and optimistic and really gets you pumped and inspired!!!! i think anyone who is even just open to try sports anime should check it out, it's def one of the most accessible I've seen in that genre (in a sense that it doesn't expect you to already be familiar with the sport to understand the story)

2. honestly?? osomatsu-san. probably bc it's very dear to me like emotionally, season 2 was still releasing when i was stuck in the hospital for a few months, and it was like a light i held onto every week (i was also following a few mangas back then but those were harder to follow. due to oso-san's skit nature it was always a good time) and i mean, ichi was my first f/o before i even knew that term existed hehe. it's one of these shows i wouldn't actually recommend to anyone unless i know they're ok with gross or edgy humor but i do think it's really good, i love how meta it is, and i think it uses its premise to deliver maximum entertainment!

(oh my god that was so much gushing abt a silly skit show i am so sorry <- guy who wrote most of the hq gushing after typing this part up. he was not aware)

3. ok so this one's really niche, idk if any of you have even heard of it heh. it's called bungou stray dogs-

ajdkflhlh while i have my gripes with how they adapt the manga, i do still think it's a very good anime as is. it was good enough to get me hooked on the story and characters and want to learn more and follow the story further, yknow? it's beautiful and i love its use of colors for symbolism, it has really great voice acting, and the energy is kept up throughout it enough to remain engaging. it's honestly a show I'd recommend everyone to at least try 🤔!

4. persona 4!!!! from one mediocre adaptation to a GREAT adaptation. i think p4's anime is really really well made - it manages to translate a game this long into a coherent and interesting story, gives its characters time to shine, and maintains a perfect balance between fun and emotions. also it has probably the best dub I've ever heard. naoto's anime voice dni. also i think episode 26 is a true masterpiece i think everyone should watch it

5. ngl. it's a three way tie for me. between shows i only watched once and don't have a lot of attachment to beyond that, but i think they're really good for very different reasons. gekkan shoujo nozaki-kun / great pretender / blue period. i won't go into details on why i love them all bc this post is already long enough. but if you're reading this you should check them out 🫡

also if this post convinces you to check out any show mentioned here you legally have to tell me ok? esp if you end up liking it 🧐🔥🔥

[elekinetic]

Quick! Tag your top favorite byler blogs (as many as you want) and tell my why you love them in one line to spread positivity on the dashboard and make someone's day!

FINALLY! THE TIME HAS COME!

this is in no particular order

first up. my wheelies. my ride or dies. call it traumabonding or whatever u want but these mfs know secrets of mine they better take to the grave

@hawkinsp0st, my first real friend on here. currently on hiatus but truly a kindred spirit. single-handedly changed the way i looked at the show with their hellfire color post. u simply get me and i miss ur brain!!

@ratt-duffer deserves so much more credit than you all give them. he just gets this show so well and has such well written analyses, but more than that, is just a fun fuckin person to exist around.

@willsglock my sister in glock. what can i say. she has permanently altered the way i think about brba and bcs. refreshingly honest in a way i wish more people were. occasionally breaks hearts w her writing.

@crazycoven no. 1 weezer stan in my heart ❤️ jk but fr hayden is such a cool person with some of the best themes and best takes on this site. very glad to know him

@tntozier deserves financial compensation for what theyve given to this tag. one of the brightest souls on here. everything he posts is a gift and u all should be so lucky 🤨 thank u for screaming abt st puzzle games and convincing me to download. i blame you for my crippling addiction.

ok onto some of my other favorite geniuses on here <3

@quinnick his energy??? immaculate. thank u for putting reddie content on my dash. u are so sweet and are the only valid ask hoarder. yes ofc i will send you more asks!! you deserve it!! even if you won’t stop making ur mom jokes.

@madcleradin just fucking gets it. she has never made a single post i did not wholeheartedly agree with. her understanding of the characters and the dynamics….phenomenal. also genuinely hilarious. very grateful to be mutuals w one sierra loveqbrl madcleradin

@mlchaelwheeler is a certified genius and is single-handedly responsible for getting me to restart succession. we don’t chat very often but when we do it is so much fun. she always puts such good posts i’ve never seen before on my dash and her analyses are genius. sarah’s blog is a gift to this site!!!

@chiquitablanquita changed my life with her poetry fic. i just. wow. wow. oh my god. yeah basically yeah. oh my god. i am in awe of you for the work u do outside of fandom and for the absolute insane talent u so gracefully share with us.

@eightieslesbian is The Gif Maker on here. her visions…holy shit. yes her gifs of my demos and the bitch meredith brooks gifset haunt my dreams bc she is the sweetest person on here and the fact that she DOWNLOADED MY MUSIC?? hello my heart is broken in two. but can we talk about HER original stuff?? HELLO?? she is so insanely talented and her vision is just….omg. OMG.

@elmaxed lumi and i don’t chat all that much but her brain is just so correct always and forever. her writing is wonderful and her energy is stellar. always happy to see her on my dash.

@wibble-wobbegong is such a fun blog to follow. he’s just such a cool dude and has such a nuanced understanding of mike. plus a great signature blog theme. dude has a BRAND, mad respect

@astrobei i cannot believe we are mutuals. i CANNOT BELIEVE we are mutuals. genuinely one of my favorite writers on ao3 and i still fangirl a little everytime we interact. like. the fics….holy shit. HOLY shit. she has such a firm understanding of the characters and has never written anything that doesn’t feel true to the show, regardless of AU or canon compliance. hanleia costume fic my beloved. good god they are such a talented writer.

@smoosnoom the scream i scrumpt when i got the follow notification. first fic writer i actually learned how to use the “subscribe” function on ao3 for. there are no words for the absolute batshit amount talent stored in this tumblr blog. ik y’all have read i’m tearing you asunder (cue “uh yeah, i’ve read the classics” tiktok audio) but every fic in their fix it series….jesus christ. run up that hill to go read rn.

@strangeswift is in a category of her own. abby u are a twin flame and i am so glad to know u. u simply understand me!! y’all she is such a fuckin phenomenal writer and is SO CEREBRAL in the way she approaches the show. her mike s4 pov snippets live rent free in my head. truly the only person who could get me to voluntarily read angst. NEVER misses with her takes and is just. so smart. SO SMART. the most supportive mfer on here fr. you guys aren’t ready for milevenvision or any of the other stuff you should be so lucky for abby to put out.

ok i could talk about my friends and moots for hours and i definitely DEFINITELY missed ppl but pls just know i follow blogs i love love love the content of and if we are mutuals i value u to the moon and back <333

[gamerism]

Mr. Gamer(ism):

Would you say that you go looking for inspo or does inspiration find you?

Also umm, when you think of a gifset you're really!! proud of, what's the first that comes to mind?...This may or may not be an opportunity to show off your faves and all.

(of course, every single one is very worthy and you should be proud of them all, but still!)

tysm for the ask! (adding a readmore bcs i decided to add some of the gifs im taking abt)

Inspiration usually finds me (especially for a lot of the gifsets im abt to talk abt). But occasionally I'll go looking for things. But depending on the medium we're talking about I'm kinda hesitant. (Poetry, for instance, is hard to look for inspiration for. Where as gifsets not so much.)

I do actually have a set that always comes to mind first. It has kind of changed over the years as I continue to improve but current it's definitely this one!

I'm really happy with the colouring and the written part of this one is my own prose.

I aaaam totally gonna mention a few others. lol.

Two general honourable mentions are definitely from my pathologic blog. I've known about the tiled multi-gif thing since like, 2014, and have always thought it was so so cool, so learning how to do that for this gifset was really exciting!!

The crossfade is so fun. I gotta do this again.

And the theme of this one using quotes from the game about fate kinda just came together in my head like a webweave.

I was finally able to use some really cool and creative photoshop effects I've known abt for ages for it.

Anyways I've worked hard on getting better at text on gifs this year and both this set and this one really show that, I think!

(When I did the yakuza 3 one I immediately went "wait how did I do that, iv totally got use this again". It kinda reminds me of 80s horror movie text)

Lastly I'll just quickly mention this set as well because I still really love how colourful it is. And I've been working hard on my colouring too, since I don't use other people's psds off the internet, I just open some layers and start trying things. (also rip me never finishing this series of sets 💀)

Anyways thank u for indulging me stretching ur question out. I do think a lot about how I've improved and sets I'm proud of and such so guess I've been kinda bursting to talk about it.