#but its just . yeah. moms in a bad mood all the time and i dont think shes' gotten more than like3 hours of sleep a night so. great!

[boxwinebaddie]

Hi Uncle Nina !!

I don't wanna clog your ask box with stupid shit but this is stupid shit but it was also my bday on the thirteenth so shjdjdjs

As a fellow Monster addict ( I got a flat of Monster for my bday and collect the cans I have 30 diff ones so far <3 ) I need to know what Stan's favourite is

And on the less stupid side of things I was also hoping to potentially hear more about Stan's trans journey/Kyle finding out Raven is trans

Also I'm sorry your job has been so stressful lately :(( I hope you have a good day 🧡

- Stan 🧡

hi orange heart stan! <3

it's so good to hear from you, baby.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHSLAY, MY LOVE! i'm sorry i'm a little late, but you know me -- everything i do is fashionably late, darling. ;)

but also!!!!! call your wonderful, lovely ask message stupid shit again!!! see what happens!!! i'm gonna frown So WIDE, i'm gonna look so Upset. i'm going to hold you up to the sun!!! JUST WATCH!!!! >;/

my sweet stannie; you are a gift, a treasure. and your ask memes are a pleasure. i don't find them stupid in any shape or form, be nice. conversely, they are extremely special to me and it's why i put off writing this message for a little while because i wanted to respond to it thoughtfully, seeing as though it's your bday message.

which, *cracks knuckles* to get the ball roooollling.

i can absolutely tell you what monster energy is stan's favorite, but as a bday bonus, bc i wasn't sure which stan you wanted to know about, or if you wanted both: i'll give you both my style's fave monster flavs

and i was going to go into some ravenstan trans lore after that, but i feel like that info should go in it's own ask, yeah? i just don't want it to get cluttered. so if you feel so inclined, would you mind sending me a second anon where i can drop that info? thank you, baby! mwah

but now, w/o further ado...

please enjoy the most Refreshing part of your day <333

for context ( and actually because i got an anon once who wanted to know whether i drink energy drinks ), i don't really know that much about energy drinks/flavors because i don't really drink energy drinks.

i mean okay, i'm not really sure if it counts as an energy drink, but i will chug a guayaki yerba mate like it is the elixir of life. ( also i fully maintain that pep stan drinks the enlightenment flavor and ravenstan drinks the raspberry one -- crunchy eco kings ) my favorite one is the passion terrere one. it's like the only one that doesn't come in a can and only comes in a glass bottle...that ice cold passion terrere mate in the glass...it hits so different than the can...oh my god. so good.

and as far as monsters go, i pretty much only drink pipeline punch bc i'm a pretty pink princess and that's what hot girls drink <3 but other than that i drink black coffee because i am an exhausted teacher girlie, but that's purely for fuel. to be honest, i rarely drink energy drinks just for fun, i only have caffeine to stay upright.

which isn't a great idea...but...i am not a role model....

speaking of:

so i told riley this story the other day, bc i needed to get her brilliant genius girl insight on energy drink flavors because she is the sugar free energy queen ( riley's answer was kyle x ultra strawberry dreams and stan x ultra mango fiesta, which, everyone say thank u riley <3 )

-- also god if you are real, bring back the watermelon lime venom you discontinued, you sick fuck, it was riley's favorite, thank you for giving us lovely orange heart stan, and fuck you very much for making ME, bitch! come on down, king! you won't! why the fuck would you extend my coworkers vacation! fight me, ugly!!!! --

and i was telling her about how i am the chaotic kenny friend, i make really bad, chaotic decisions, have no self preservation, hype and gas up my extremely bad ideas and convince myself i'm big brain, wow.

and...oof. so like 2-3 years ago during finals week, i had a fuck ton of essays and projects due ( i was a very bad student btw which is funny bc i'm a teacher ) and no idea how i was gonna do them, so i had the Brilliant Idea...to buy three Random bang energy drinks...

AND SHOTGUN ALL OF THEM BACK TO BACK LIKE BEER CANS.

ohhhhhhhhhhhh my god, party girl nina. help. crying.

and yknow, i thought this was such a good idea! i was like wow i'm gonna be so awake, i am going to b invincible.

i....was not Invicible. i was...very, very sick. i was like almost catatonic and shaking on the floor of my dorm bathroom, lmao. i had to have my roomate take a picture of me on the floor and text all my teachers what happened, which, thank god they were all really nice and laughed but...i feel like that tells you everything you need to know about me...people who think i'm their hero...i am a fucking idiot.

but!! BUUUUTTT! just for You, baby. i deep dived a lot of forums and read a lot about the flavor profiles and think...i made a pretty accurate assertion of what my kid's energy drink preferences are <3

me: paris hilton pipeline punch bc i am bad as hell ;)

stan the man with the plan: okay, so i think that pep stan is definitely that ultra paradise monster energy. it just seems really crisp, clean, earthy. stan also doesn't really care for sweets or sugar, so it makes sense to me that he would be drinking a zero sugar monster ( kyle is disgusted ) idk the kiwi, lime, cucumber flavor profile just feels like pep stan. please tell me you can see the vision, help.

kyle pile: hmmm...so what i've concluded with my research is that kyle pile probably likes that pacific pipeline monster that seems to taste like fruit punch <3 it has to be the full sugar ones because of his blood sugar and stan does kind of scold kyle for drinking them bc he's not really supposed to and he gets really cracked out ahdslkshd like he's really cute but stan is like oh my god bro you gotta lay down but yeah i think that one or the orange dreamsicle one, which is hilarious because the only foods stmwtp canonically does not like are pickles and artifical orange flavoring...he really loves kp.

raven: soooooo i know that i said pep stan was the mango loco monster energy, BUT RAVENSTAN IS LITERALLY THE MANGO LOCO MONSTER ENERGY LIKE HELLO??? also i feel like he is like those mexican dads that put a little tajin in whatever they're eating and act like they've invented fire heeeeeelp ravenstan is so the dad that cuts u up fruit into little shapes and pus tajin on them and feeds u them when ur sad <333 luv u raven ;-; <3 but yeah i feel like he full on turns it into a raspado its so unserious sometimes theres a shot in there, it's usually the spicy tamarind smirnoff vodka,

...what can i say my man is a visionary and i see it

jersey: oooookaaaaay. so...sigh. for Obvious Reasons, pre and during rm, because of kyle's ed, he only drinks the sugar free monsters. for energy because he's exhausted ( my baby </3 ) but i also do think he thinks they taste good. i think he fucks with that ultra watermelon flavor that just tastes like the most beautiful, delectable, mouth watering liquid watermelon candy ever. i also think he could rock with the strawberry or the peach one sounds dank.

if the watermelon one isn't there it does stress him out, but he has a mental list of what one is next on the tier list, and acts accordingly. its kind of a nice change of pace but...his brain does not think that. however, when kyle is healing, weirdly enough, i think he ACTUALLY LIKES???? those coffee flavored ones??? which is Insane and everyone including tweek points and laughs at him

i hope...that suffices? you're totally welcome to offer me what you think is the right answer: you're the monster expert, after all. but this is what i feel in my heart! i think it feels accurate but, lmk! :')

and also...speaking of my job. UUUUUUGH. thank you baby. :((( i am actually criminally depressed because my fucking HOE-WORKER fucking extended his vacation ONE MORE WEEK! so i have to cover all his shifts for an extra week while he's on vacation. so that means i don't get to watch my testing accommodation kids who i miss very much, i still don't get his kinder reccess shift and literally??? spring break is next week like he couldn't WAIT???? holy fuck i'm Sad. :(

but i will be fine darling. but it's actually why i wanted to see if you could send me another anon so i can use that anon to talk about trans stan journey stuff? i just don't want it to get lost in this post and also, i'm not in great spirits rn and don't want to answer it until i can write something that's not flaming garbage.

but happy late birthday baby, i'm so glad you were born. <333

-uncle nina, monster shot gun queen

p.s. what is your favorite monster energy? :)

[biolums]

does anyone know when life is supposed to calm down. does anyone know when it all ends

[n0ct0urn1quet]

pov talking shit abt my sister in vc when my door is ever so slightly open and she probably heard me so now im all embarrassed to go out into the living room out of fear that she'll be like "so what were u talking about in there"

[webginz]

i had the worst shower ever. i was like, tripping out. reminded me of my "episodes" i had in middle school. just like voices and not knowing where i am. and not being able to get back to reality.

well now im on my way to the dentist, theres no way in hell they wont be able to notice i was just crying. (from fear of going to the dentist, not from the shower thing lol)

im so scared :(

[took out a part here but it was just about stress and disordered eating things from this morning]

then i got to the dentist and it sucked. long dentist story ahead

okay dentist. everything that couldve gone wrong, went wrong.. i tried acting normal, and we had small talk or whatever like normal dentist x ray stuff, but she could instantly tell something was wrong with me, i guess.

she gave me a health form to fill out. i was still chill and this point and was like oh yeah i have blood pressure problems but its only if im up moving around!! so not doing that at the desntist hehe amirite?! i also checked anxiety and i think thats what she wanted. just personal confirmation everything was gonna go wrong.

after she learned i had anxiety, she was nice, too nice imo... like i was a child. im okay with that though i guess. (i mean.. she could definitely tell i was just done crying)

she was like "the xray blanket is heavy and could help with ur anxiety" BUT I WANTED IT OFF AND COULD BARELY TALK SO I JUST NODDED. it made me feel so overwhelmed immediately. THIS IS WHERE EVERYTHING STARTED GOING BAD

im also just constantly aware of my hair and when you lean back on the stupid dentist seat my hat falls off. its like LOOK THE FREAK WHOS SCARED OF THE DENTIST AND PULLS OUT ALL HER HAIR!!

whatever. so there i am on the dentist chair. bald spots for the world to see. xray blanket sensory overload. sunglasses on top of my regular glasses. but im pushing through.

she starts using the tool on my teeth. a metal vibrating thing that sounds like a drill. my worst most awful fear is high pitched drilling noises. if im in a good mood i can put up with them for a bit, but obviously todays not that day. i try not to freak out, but she notices and asks if im okay and im like "yah" (with tears)

but then my mom comes in and shes like "can you not do it a different way?!?!" "shes freaking out" and just making everything WORSE. (used the chaos here to get rid of the dumb xray thing)

ive been on and off hyperventilating through all of this btw... i heard one of the dentist ladies say "shes crying and breathing really fast..." which was like. kill me now please god.

so back to my mom asking "can you not just do it a different way?" they do have a different way btw. without the scary machine! but then dentist lady says "she used this machine the last 2 times she was here? we dont have enough time to do it manually." (proof i was just having a bad day and i totally can be normal!!! but hearing this made me feel awful like i could feel all the dentists were thinking "she did it fine last time why is she carzy today?!?")

she then asked to step away to find the MAIN dentist lady.

at this point i was crying shaking hyperventilating and felt like i was gonna throw up from nervous energy. also my mom is pestering me a bunch (shes concerned but making everything worse, her hearts in the right place tho ily mom)

so big boss dentist lady is here. she says she looked at the xrays (from the beginning, remember?) and i have A GAZILLION CAVITIESSSSSS!!!!!

she says for my dental things from now on i should go to a SEDATION DENTIST!!!!

i was so out of it i didnt even know what to say. well now i do!!!

im not usually that scared. i was having a VERY BAD morning.

the dentist i go to now is all women. the sedation dentist is a MAN, that none of the women there had ever met. I HAVE TO GO MEET A MAN TO SEDATE ME SO I CAN BE ALONE WITH HIM? SO HE CAN DO MY TEETH? i might have a silly joking tone to this post but with this im being so serious. im scared as hell that thats just gonna end with me being raped.

i dont like male doctors/dentists/anything and always have my mom with me when i have to. there was a female assistant when i had my endoscopy and female nurses when i had my surgery. i dont want to be alone, asleep, in a room with a man i dont know. JUST BECAUSE IM SCARED OF THE DENTIST???

god i keep seeing stuff in the corner of my eye as im writing this. i think my psychosis is coming back for some reason.

every things going wrong today and forever

pls like/reply this post if you read it all im sorry for my ranting

[ibelongto-tylergalpin]

Hello! Could I request Eddie Munson dating reader who has powers like Eleven headcanons? But not the exact same powers as Eleven yk- maybe reader has invisibility and whoever reader touches while their invisible also turns invisible? Idk 100% up to you :)

okay sooo i came up with so many that i really like so lets just have the reader have all of em okay :) great

Eddie Munson dating reader with powers....

~Okay like I said, I couldn't choose a power so theres a lot

~The three major ones are shape-shifting, hydrokinesis (thats when you control water) and molecular combustion (basically you can make things explode)

~The smaller ones are mind reading and the ability to breathe under water... for obvious reasons

~You had escaped the lab with El, so you've been involved with everything

~Just like El, you were taken in by Hopper, but you decided to stay in Indiana since most of your friends were there

~Yeah it sucked ass not being with El, but your best friend Nancy’s mom let you live with them

~You actually met Eddie before the whole Vecna thing, but he didn’t find out about your powers till during, when you guys were fighting the demobats

~Mans was so fucking shocked he kinda just stood there with his jaw basically at his feet when he saw you blow up a bat with your mind

~Everyone else acted like it was the most normal thing in the world (they already knew about it, of course) 

~“Babe, did you just blow that bat up with your mind?!”

~“Yeah she can do that” Steve said, hella nonchalantly

~More bats came and you guys ran, but when you made it to skull rock he would not stop asking questions about it, and made you demonstrate

~After all of the Vecna stuff happened, you stopped hiding your powers and he would constantly ask you to use them

~One time he even had you use them when one of his teachers wanted to have a parent/teacher conference with his uncle ad he didn’t wanna get in trouble so he made you shapeshift into his uncle

~Because your water abilities, you guys would swim in lovers lake and he’d try to start a water fight but end up losing every time

~Youd fw him when he would shower and youd make the water hella fucking cold at random times

~Would 100% wanna blow stuff up with you cause “why the fuck not”

~Hes never able to keep secrets from you cause of the mind reading. If he wants to cuddle in bed, you’ll know. If he wants to smoke weed with you, you’ll know. If hes hella horny and want’s you to ride him, you’ll know, but you want him to say it cause its no fun if hes not asking and begging for it

~Basically life is just so much more fun now that you dont have to hide it anymore, cause lets face it, it was hard to explain why things would blow up when you’re in a bad mood

[azsazz]

okay, replying to the long anon message this way so i can put it under the cut for spoilers :)

if it wasn't for fanfics of acotar i would have dropped it in acowar tbh, there were too many inconsistencies with the plot and characters and so many things that happened so the story moved forward but had no reason to happen, like it was out of nowhere and she prioritized romance over plot more and more each book and then prioritized smut in acosf over her own characters. i know ppl like that book but that was a shit characterization of nesta and cass and everyone that showed up almost and what for? to have a bunch of smut scenes that didn't actual help anything with nesta's development or the plot (i think it didnt even help with them getting together bc i would have prefered they actually started getting closer organically and then the tension starting after that) and she actually had a good idea with the valkyries but then the blood rite kinda cheapened it in my opinion bc they literally won with the power of friendship when sjm could have just skipped more time ahead (since they're immortal) and then when the 3 of them were realistically ready they could have won, and since the 3 bat boys winning was such an important thing i think if she really had to have that parallel than she could have wrote it better

i absolutely agree with this. and there's amazing examples of fantasy books where the smut hasn't ruined the plot and it's flow is great. but like, she's just cranking these books out with little thought i swear. and she can brag that she wrote cc3 in whatever like 6 weeks or some shit and then scrapped the whole thing. but like? sounds like a rush job to me? and how does she keep up with all these fucking characters because i can't. cc3 will make me lose my mind i swear. cass/ness had so much potential tbh i was here for it but acosf was a complete whirlwind of fuckery. and i get that it was no longer feyres pov or whatever but what the hell, that's not my cassian.

im glad you mentioned the bryce and az chapter bc i havent read that series and i dont want to but sjm is crossing them over to get people to read it (which makes me want to read it even less lol) and its just one more storyline she probably can't keep up with. like it's crazy how we still don't know so much about the acotar world or the characters, even rhys we still don't know how far his powers go or so much about his backstory and why? bc sjm doesn't care about building a character, i know it's a romance book but you can't just ignore every other aspect of the book

literally the only reason i read it was for the crossover. it was one of the worst books ive ever read and long as fuck too. did not need to be that long. i couldn't tell you a single thing that happened in it to be honest besides the fact that literally every man bryce came across had to make sure to mention how beautiful she is. fuck off with that shit fr.

also! this one is kinda me being picky maybe but the jokes about feyre having canned food in this setting with no other modern stuff is actually bad world building imo, i mean there were no signs of industry in the book and then a can of soup shows up out of nowhere? before other more basic stuff than would have to have shown up already? idk what that was about. that and the leggings, im not saying it's not possible for them to be there but to this day my mom calls them tights bc that's what they were called until a few years ago so seeing the word in the fantasy setting sjm had set up literally pulled me out of the book

OMG you're so right i never thought much of the soup can but you're so rightttt im actually dying that's so funny. yeah, leggings was stupid as fuck too, you're telling me they have synthetic stretchy fabric? be so fr rn

maybe im in a mood today too lol but i really just much prefer fanfiction over the books, in fact i only finished them bc since i was getting spoilers from fics and thought i might as well read them

i feel this so hard 💙

[winderlylandchime]

(1/2)The man came inside after a cigarette break, jumped right into 2x14, saw Justin dancing on the bar, paused the episode and went outside for another smoke. So i think he is handling it well. He is now back and his immediate reaction is ‘THIS IS BULLSHIT! Why are they making him do this, i know its his own doing BUT COME ON.. OH SO THEY KNOW WHAT HAPPENED? My dudes, my bros, my mens..why aren’t we throwing punches yet?..oh Brian is pissed off! Why doesnt he say something? what is that freak of a fuck giving him? JUSTIN DONT TAKE ANY DRUGS FROM HIM’ *pauses the tv on Brian* ‘see the problem is that he looks very pretty when he is in a bad mood’ *throws his hands up in the air* ‘PICKLE GUY!!!!!!!! Oh pickle guy and Emy are going on a world trip!! I can’t wait! Theyre gonna have so much fun…oh she’s still being a bitch to Ben? Man fuck her, i thought she was better with him?’…’oh Brian knows about his classes! I swear i am totally normal about this! But like, i didnt even know my own classes but Brian knows Justins? Oh Brian is angry.. good for him! I like this! I mean I don’t like the Justin part but i do like Brian being all for his education and shit. That’s nice! I want more of that but less of that other shit.’ ‘I thought we wrapped up with cop bullshit? Why the hell is he here? Yeah, what are you doing her- SAY WHAT NOW? HE ASKED WHAT NOW? exactly debbie! Tell him! WE *points to her and himself* do not date or fuck cops!’ He high fived debbie on tv bc he’s happy she turned doen the cop..’brian actually showed up for Emmetts going away at work? I LOVE EMY AND BRI BRI!!! Oh for fucks sake justin! Just take the fucking money! You arent doing a very good job at looking out for yourself right now, that man is an evil evil little freak! And Brian clearly knows it!’ And the scene with Vic and Debbie is up. ‘exactly Debbie, he is a homophobe!! VIC MY BOY WHAT? HE DIDNT MAKE A TINY JOKE HE MADE A BAD JOKE! He doesnt need enlightening, what he needs is my foot so far up his ass his own mom can feel it! Why is vic being dumb? At least debbie knows he’s a homophobe. VIC STOP THIS MADNESS!’ ‘Oh look Justin remembered he has a school! Its Brian! I like this, i would like more of them hanging out. Justin doing his homework and Brian being with him. AFTER HOURS PARTY?! Absolutely not! Oh Brian knows this is bad news. Brian please stop this madness! *pauses tv on Justin* dude, me and Brian are trying so hard to get to you and you won’t listen to either one of us and honestly, it’s not cute!’ And now he is groaning loudly because Debbie is going on a date. ‘The problem i have is, this would be a cute moment if he wasn’t a…you know *said in a very disapproving way* a cop. OH THE FUCKING IRONY OF MIKE AND OH MY FUCKING GOD I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE IT OH MY GOD OH MY GOD SHE IS A HYPOCRITE OF A WHOLE NEW LEVEL. Oh fuck her times 70.’ And now the plane scene is up and i am not ready ‘AHHH PICKLE GUY AND EMY ARE ON A TRIP!! I need them to give me a cute little montage of them having cute moments all over the world! Like some italian music that’s upbeat and just random snapshots of them! YES I WANT THAT! Ohhhh they are gonna get down and dirty in the bathroom!! Gross but have fun babies, you deserve it!’ He is currently scoffing at everything Carl says ‘Debbie.. come on. You cant even look at Ben and say hi to him and you see nothing wrong with Car- oh thats why she said into him, theyre the same. Assholes!’ I am not ready for whats about to happen, i always get sad but i am not ready for this. ‘Oh look at them going at it! Hell yeah Pickle Guy and Emy live your best lif-*he is genuinely on the verge of tears* pickle guy?..pickle..? Is he. noooooooooooo PICKLE GUY! *he is actually crying at this point* PICKLE GUY NO! What about the world trip! And italy! And cute montage! Pickle’ He is genuinely sad and honestly same.

OH POOR BROTHER ANON, mourning the loss of Pickle Man (do not let him eat a pickle in his memory).

Your brother is right - We Do Not Fuck Cops in this house. ACAB. He’s going to be very disappointed in Debbie (again)

I love that he and Brian are now a team trying to get Justin to listen to reason.

Okay… let’s get to the next one because a couple of us have been wondering how Brother Anon was going to respond to Justin topping…

[wielderofthechainsaw]

kind of a vent

ive had a really bad day. Lets start from the top. I had an overdue book that had been apparently out for 3 YEARS. and the money i had to pay the school back was $30. So today, i brought $30. During recess i go to the library with my two friends who i’ll call Fish and Ex-wife. Ok, so me, Fish and Ex-Wife were sitting at a table and talking, and i get up, i SHOW THEM THE CASH and i say “im gonna give this to the librarian for a book i never gave back, brb” so theyre both like “alr” so i tell the librarian about what happened and she asked me what book it was, so i say “if the world were a village”. She looked up my account and saw the book that was overdue and shes like “ok, you dont have to pay me right now because i swear i saw that book last week, im going to check the library first, if i dont find it then you can pay me.” So i say “alright!” Skip to around lunchtime; we were just finishing off a math lesson until three kids come in saying theyre doing a cookie sale for $2 and ask if anyone was interested and so i raise my hand and say “yeah, me!” So i give them a five dollar bill, and i get $3 and the cookie i wanted. And out of nowhere my OTHER long-time (6 years) friend who i’ll call ‘baddie’ claimed she had $5 in her desk and started saying I STOLE IT! She told the teacher and basically all her friends in the class. She was talking another friend of mine who i’ll call ‘Doja Crap’ and she whispering about me. Sinc ei was in a really bad mood i had lost my appetite and i was too busy forcung myself to eat my lunch to hear what they were saying, but my cousin Fish tood me what they were talking about, and apparently Doja Crap was like ‘call her (me) out’ LIKE CALL ME OUT FOR WHAT??? And Fola was like ‘im gonna asked to have my desk changed’ and ‘i should call my mom’ LIKE GIRL JUST ADMIT YOU LOST YOUR FUCKING MONEY AND MOVE ON. WE’VE BEEN FRIENDS FOR SIX FUCKING YEARS AND IT TOOK EVERYTHING IN MY NOT TO CUSS HER OUT. LIKE I DIDNT KNOW IF I WANTED TO YELL OR CRY! IM SO FUCKIN SAD MAN BC WEVE BEEN LIKE 🤞FOR YEARS AND YEARS! I WAS LITERALLY BADDIES FIRST FRIEND WHEN SHE FIRST MOVED TO MY SCHOOL LIKE GIRL WHAT?? WHY ARE YOU ACCUSING ME OF SOMETHING YOU KNOW I WOULDNT DO?! But yeah, its kinda been crappy.

[hyperthinks]

15 questions for 15 mutuals ^_^ i was tagged by @socialbunny!

1. are you named after anyone?

nope to both my birth name and chosen name! my motivation behind picking the name miles was that it 1. had the same first initial as my birth name and 2. PEOPLE COULD ACTUALLY SPELL IT LMAOOO

2. when was the last time you cried?

i graduated college last weekend and i dont know if id consider it a Full Cry because all i did was tear up but when i gave my favorite professor a hug after i went onstage i was screaming and crying and throwing up on the inside

3. do you have kids?

nope!

4. do you use sarcasm a lot?

yeah but in a lighthearted way! im a goofy guy but i dont ever want my jokes to come off as too mean spirited

5. what sports do you play/have you played?

HELP im so shit at sports 😭 my hand eye coordination and depth perception are both awful so im not good at any of them… when i was in the 3rd grade my mom put me in cheerleading and i had such bad social anxiety as a kid that when it was my turn to cheer i would just CRY. it makes for a funny story though

6. what’s the first thing you notice about other people?

ooh this ones tough. uhhh it depends on the situation i first meet them in but generally their voice and speech patterns? when i was a kid i didnt inflect a lot (autism.) so i had to “study” other people… i think that’s kind of a holdover from that ?

7. eye color?

brown! ^_^

8. scary movies or happy endings?

hmmm. depends on what mood i’m in and also how well its written!

9. any special talents?

well i just graduated magna cum laude (CUM? 🤨) with a BFA in graphic design so i HOPE i’m good at that LMAOOOO

outside of that? im decently good at digging through code and messing with hex editing for someone who has no formal coding experience outside of HTML and CSS

10. where were you born?

the united states! i was born in missouri but i’ve lived in georgia most of my life

11. what are your hobbies?

ooh lets see. i like researching unused content and the effects of glitches in video games (lifelong special interest. teehee) in addition to, well. actually playing the games. i used to draw a lot more (if you’re reading this and you followed me from my furry twitter: I’m Sorry) but i’ve shifted a lot of my creative energy towards writing (check out my tycutio fanfiction) and graphic design (i need to post some of my stuff here… my senior project was sims 2 themed even)

12. do you have any pets?

i do! we got my dog daisy (lab mix) when i was really little, and she’s 15 now!

we also have a tortoise named tortimer (after the guy from animal crossing) but we just call him torti

13. how tall are you?

5’8” but i used to be 5’9” before scoliosis nerfed me (<- coping and seething)

14. fave subject in school?

in high school it was probably literature, but in college i’d say typography? i like letters. teehee

15. dream job?

please for the love of god i want a job making promotional materials for a game company SO BAD.

i tag… YOU!!! >:D nahhh jk but i AM gently tapping my mutuals on the shoulder if they want to do this . ^_^

[rottingsparrow]

Part 2 (redo) of Reading Lore Olympus

I am doing a test to see if more people see this if I only review ten episodes at a time. It makes sense, I wouldn’t wanna read that much either. So here’s episodes 11-20, I’ll be posting 21-30 shortly after. Here’s part one again

Ep 11

Touch count total: 7 lmao

Cat. kitty cat

Artemis jumps to conclusions so fast

Did artemis’ bangs grow

Ope and its short again

It would be different it it wasnt noticeable but like the style changes too

Why does artemis not have scissors

How is her hair perfect after a slice

It looks like she is pulling her skin when she is taking her clothes off

Is she wearing a bra?? Bc if she isnt her boobs shouldnt be sitting like that

Oh she is now

“Demeter is such a helicopter mom” i mean yeah but also i dont think the mortal realm has.. Yknow internet

Eros is pink now idk if i preferred him as a light purple

Maybe like a mixture thats cool

Ep 12

Artemis like true form looks cool but so normal yknow

Inside!

“No wings i just vacuumed” quick rachel how do wings work

I do like the cut out in the back of the shirt for the wings

Artemis feels like the mom that is like “put on pants ur uncle is coming over” like huh?? Persephone is just not wearing pants

Youre just soooo pretty persephone omg

Eros and persephones colors accidentally get so close ugh

“I dont” look at her face its so. Yeah

Is yoga for sex or

Is he holding a necklace i thought he was pulling tears and i was so confused when i originally read this

Ep 13

Did aphrodite get darker

She definitely did esp in the panel where she says “psyche”

I know they are family of love but i do worry about the possible emotional incest that could occur honestly. I dont think it happens but it gets close

Ok so he passes the underworld so it goes olympus- underworld- mortal realm or am i dumb

The pig is so cute

How did she not realize her veil thingy fell off

Was her family abusive in the og story or was this just so eros would fall even more for her

When did he get the bow and quiver dont just say magic

Ep 14

The little switches in time got me confused the first time i read it

Oh boy he got an apartment

If i were psyche i would be scared deadass

“The ugliest creature youve ever seen” ok thats cool its fun

Ep 15

Listen. How the hell did she adapt to this bc if i went to a diff realm and all of a sudden there was like. Indoor plumbing i would panic the hell out of my mind

Like shes even wearing modern clothes

“I'm certainly not the pig” hehe i like the pig

Why does he not hang out with her when he isnt busy like

Hookup count is 2 now

Ok ok this may be stupid but what if he just made her go by a diff name

Also your mother needs therapy

I would want to leave too

“Do you trust me?” thats kinda guilt tripping ngl

“Maybe i could have visitors” no they literally are from a different time now

Like i get the “i cant tell her no” but just explain the modern vs ancient world but maybe she could go visit them idk

Ep 16

Why are they not confused i feel like they are ignoring this whole thing rachel created

No her sisters have a point why did he not give her a name not even his real one

Dont hold the blade there is a handle girl

“How could you not trust me?” i wouldnt either gotta be honest

Eros is so melodramatic istg

Artemis and persephone are not having it and like mood

Artemis is lighter now

Yknow if she kept a color palette with just base colors and then did lighting it would work better but maybe im a lil lost

“Hey i got a phone” put ur name queen

Q&A 1

I wasnt gonna put anything for this but “i focus on details and seek out references for anatomy” girlie do you wanna. Start doing that again

Ep 17

Why is he just crying he can leave

“Woe is me” shut up Persephone

No it would suck to be sworn to maidenhood without her permission but also i dont think she understands what unrequited love is

“No one will ever love me like that” they might yall just cant do things

“And thats ok” is it??

“Little tart” good nickname tbh

Her eyes went blue but that will never happen again

Dont throw her list away eros

Emergency contacts you just got a phone??

“Im paying for everything so i get to pick” stfu eros

We will never see her wear this again

Do we ever see her wear the same outfit i cant remember

“Was he just humoring me” i mean hes also prolly busy

I know everyone says it but i hate that apollo is purple

Ep 18

Stop thinking of persephone like that its so weird hades

“As if she would want me to have her number” its not a business card made for you man

How do kings get banned genuinely like this is so wild rachel please show me the societal norm and class systems here

Haha so funny zeus is harassing someone -_-

What job would he give her honestly

How does the economy work you cant say that resell on gems is shit and not explain

Hades wow forcing them to accept a check youre so cool

This is locker room talk and i quite literally hate it

Ep 19

If hades doesnt want to discuss his sex life he is valid i wouldnt want to especially not to family

“Ok i can be a little bossy” this is a surprise tool thatll help up later

They are being good brothers here tho

Ew not the locker room talk again

Like even if she was his age or whatever its literally so gross

Hera!!!

Ep 20

Lil kore is so cute

I like their interactions

She has a point its disgusting

However, i hate, like loathe, the miscommunication plot device. Answer hades Hera so i dont have to deal with this

Also zeus shut up you dont speak for hades

Hera should know that she is getting angry at Zeus and then misdirecting her anger its so annoying

“Im well aware im a fool” can you guys just talk please

[onemillionvolts]

GM CYNO

what if i told you every single question in the ask game should be answered, that or WHO IS THE SEXUEST PERSIN THAT COMES TO MIND IMMEDIATELY

GOOD MORNING HI HI. BET. im gonna do all of them you bet i wont but i will. youre the best for this btw

IMMEDIATELY? PFFFF HOW LONG DO U HAVE LET ME GET MY LIST

0. height

i yam 5 foot 6 (and a half)

1. virgin?

what the fuck did you just call me? /lhj

anyways in my head yes i am and thats what matters isnt it

2. shoe size

i wear 11s and god i wish that thing people say about shoe size was true 🤙

3 + 4 + 5. do you smoke/drink/do drugs

no and i never plan to <33

6. age you get mistaken for

i.. honestly have no answer to this tbh

7 + 8. do you have (and/or want) any tattoos?

i don't have any, i'd like one/some but i'm not really sure what i'd get

9 + 10. do you have/want any piercings

no to both PFFFF i think like... a clip on lip piercing would probably be my personal limit

11. best friend

...ego stroker much, tumblr user wangshu? /t PFFFFF

12. relationship status

harem with fake 2d men single. yeah uh. single

13. biggest turn ons

tbh... i cant think of any off the top of my head that aren't painfully obvious

14. biggest turn offs

ducklips iykyk

15. favorite movie

i'm not kidding when i say step brothers. but if you want a more respectable answer, nightmare before christmas

16. i'll love you if

you aren't an asshole??? i mean ik it's hypocritical of me to say but cmon

17. someone you miss

i've lost a lot of family over the years so probably someone there tbh

18. most traumatic experience

when my ex lived with me and i wish i was joking it was that fucking bad

19. A fact about your personality

which one /hj

i do think.. i overcompensate a lot by trying to be funny bc i dont feel like i HAVE a personality so there's that about me

20. What i hate most about myself

mm thats a toughie it could be the appearance or the voice or the attachment issues or the codependency issues or the jealousy issues or the mood swings or the weak immune system or the several mental illnesses or holy shit this is turning into a pity party

21. what i love most about myself

im an alright writer i guess? and id like to think i'm a good friend

22. what i want to be when i get older

i just wanna write man idc what

23. my relationship with my sibling(s)

i have 0 of them

24. my relationship with my parents

my moms cool but the less said about my dad the better

25. my idea of the perfect date

literally just staying in and watching a movie with snacks and stuff... honestly never thought about it much

26. My biggest pet peeves

UM UM um people who think the world revolves around them people who don't know the difference between their there and they're um people who Unironically Capitalize Every Word Like This oh i could go on

27. a description of the person i like

big hat dumb bowlcut open kimono /j

28. description of the person i dislike the most

um literally jusr my dad so. narcissistic explosive annoying abusive etc etc

29. A reason i've lied to a friend

only time i'm lyin is when i say tiggy ain't best boy 💯

30. what i hate most about work/school

it kinda semi interferes w my night owl ways but otherwise i'm chill

31. what your last text message says

gonna use actual texts cause using disc is too easy 👹 it was just me asking my mom if she wanted a drink from mcdonalds from last sunday

32. what words upset me the most

does this mean like. just words you hate or a phrase/sentence that upsets u...

uh i'll do it both ways. the word bussin makes me want to fall down an abyss a la childe ajax tartaglia

and uh. i hate being told i don't do enough, specifically by people who don't do jack shit in the first place. AGAIN iykyk

33. what words make me feel best abt myself

oh it was the second thing. honestly don't hve an answer to this but i just hold onto any compliment i get for actual years so there's that about me

34. what i find attractive in women

eyes its eyes

35. what i find attractive in men

sense of humor tbh

36. where i would like to live

somewhere close to a big city so that it isn't massively crowded and loud and overwhelming all the time but i'm close enough to stores and hospitals and all that stuff

37. One of my insecurities

i feel like this has already been asked in like 6 different ways.. prolly my body tho

38. my childhood career choice

honestly i've.. always been kinda laughably indecisive about this type of thing. i never wanted to be like, an astronaut or fireman or any of the cliche stuff that kids talk about i.. don't think i ever thought of it actually

39. my favorite ice cream flavor

cookies n cream 👹 specifically like a cookies n cream cheesecake blizzard from like dq or culvers.. that shit is unmatched

40. Who i wish i could be

a mentally stable person or cyno genshin (real)

41. where i want to be right now

in bed <///3

42. the last thing i ate

leftover pizza <3

43. SEXIEST PERSON THAT COMES TO MIND IMMEDIATELY

TIGHNARI FINAL ANSWRR I DONT PERCEIVE REAL PEOPLE

44. a random fact about anything

all odd numbers contain the letter E

GOLLY THIS WAS SO FUN.

[zak-shit]

april 25th 1:23 am check in

i am hot and cold

my mood is a rollercoaster with stripped tracks

im going through a burst of relief recently. i know one way or another, i have to find the light. its always there, sometimes it takes patience before its burning bright enough.

here i am trying to journal for a moment and im tryna sound correct and poetic

ive always looked for, or journaled a bit poetically.

feeling relief upon the darkness because my mom like really wants to, needs to get better.. her mental health is at an atl. absolutely breaks my heart, but for weeks now ive been frozen, overwhelmed because I haven't known how to really help her.. as awful as it is, now that she has expressed/ shown how much she does want to get better.. i feel released a bit. im not alone in it. i know i wasnt alone.. shes the one who is absolutely depressed.. but i felt like the only one who knew that there is a light, and that we have to work hard to get to it. my father absolutely pisses me off about it. because he knows!! how down she is, and doesnt put in any work or thought in improving anything.. and if he wants to say he "doesnt know" i would say thats even worse.. thats your wife and you cant tell? nah theres no excuse for it in my eyes. its just weakness.

and i dont want to view my dad as weak. maybe its more scared? im not sure, but he is strong.. he just needs to face shit. i really dont like that he depends on drinking so much too. it just makes me think like, is your life really that bad? yeah we are poor, yeah you work extremely hard, and long.. i get that.. but ive always wondered like, your home.. your safe.. why is the only/ best way to relax (everyday) by drinking... why cant you be present.. that fully takes you away. hes here everyday yes, but when you have a buzz going on youre not really here. your detached, your in your own world.

jesus the father chapter is long, i dont think ive really gone too much into it in my years journalling. but it is a large, impactful one. its all a domino affect really and he is a strong domino. he isnt the first domino.. (causing all of it) i really dont think anyone is.. except maybe ourselves in our own ways.

we are all our own first domino.

anyways.. i absolutely love my computer. i love chappell roan. Ruby and I decided to go to lollapolloza this year!! aghhh first festival! first plane ride! first time in chicago!! EEE! beyond excited!! GOING TO SEE CHAPPELL ROAN... BITCH!

seriously, cMON!

I believe those were the main things i wanted to jot down on here this evening.. i would love to spill more and more until my brain was EMPTY. however i dont know if that time would ever arrive. I need to wake up early for school drop off c: and im sure it will take me a while to fall asleep.

goodnight, as there is a ton to talk about and work through, i will be back soon. (hopefully) ((i need to))

kayyyy bye byeeee ttyl,

love, zakery shhhhhhhhh

[lostacelonnie]

Hell yeah! Mood every time i go to a beach i always miss her after. I will keep my fingers crossed for your return on another trip. Oh those are all so good. Im especially a fan of churros & empanadas. I should get paella again sometime. That is a very mismatched group but i respect the vibe based friendship. Also reminds me i should get back to finishing mag archives thats a good podcast. Also been meaning to look into goth music to see what thats all about. The peak goal of adhd people. To rember. High luck stat to not be attacked by gulls. I think i got a tad bit there too because ive never been attacked by them but like. You can see the simple minded desire in their eyes. Especially if you have food. Damn best of luck to her. Thats like people tellin me they moved to florida, where the gators climb over fences often. Group chat for geo teacher fans that is amazing. Love that for yall. Oh there's one thing xabi & i share as i too do not know whats goin on so often. Thanks! I only hope i have enough but i think sw is in the back half so i can save even more pulls than i have. Probably will have to pass her light cone up like i did for seele's til next time. Meta can leave i dont care for it i use who i want when i want this is an anti meta zone. Oh? Im not sure. What to ask about them. Like i wanna know more of their role in the story of honkai i guess. What happens to them & all that. Welt seems to have history with otto/luocha. & himeko is my coffee lovin mom character i like her a lot. We love a girl who keeps complex machinery like the express working. Skirk showed up so briefly at the end of the archon quest but damn if it wasnt funny. Yeeting childe out of the abyss & just lore dropping on us all. I think i saw you played the story quest & learned about furina? I think it was uh. Durandal's jp va that she shared with skirk i cant remember cant wait to see if she becomes playable though. Oh damn really? The range is insane indeed what a queen. Oooh congrats! I also got her & had enough for her weapon next is navia but i might only have enough for her & try for her weapon later. Since arlecchino is a few updates out. Im not yet at a world level where relics matter but same. Not the best luck on that yet. 7 am exam? That should be illegal but i wish you luck on your studies. Especially with feelin a bit sick trying to study while sick is awful. Ooooh nice! Such a fun & good series. I just got the fifth volume last week & finally had time to finish it. Quickly became a favorite for me. Now if only i had time to read everything else im behind on.

FOR REAL FOR REAL ive never been much of a sea person but ahh this is such a universal experience... and thankies!!! while i could never Live in spain permanently [hot and everyone tries to talk to you] i did end up becoming quite fond of the country. GOD YEAH CHURROS ARE SOO GOOD generally speaking i like ALL spanish food. banger after banger after banger. need to learn how to cook some because i miss it so bad. but i DID manage to not fuck up scrambled eggs when i made them for the first time ever recently so thats a good sign for my culinary abilities id say. anyway IT IS AJDKKFJF but i vibe with them so its chill. ah nice!! im terrible with podcasts [can never quite concentrate on them.....] but i wanna listen to it Someday since i heard only good things ab it. also good luck luck with that!! i like goth music as in i think its Good and i generally enjoy it if i happen to hear it but its also sth i just Do Not listen to in my free time. i respect it tho. coming back YEAH AJSKDKFK I WAS JUST. observing the gulls the whole time but surprisingly nobody from my class was attacked ajdjfkgjs. and ill pass on the message when i talk to her next time AJKSLJFJG i really Do wonder what even prompted her moving there sometimes. i believe it was her boyfriend but also she changes those as often as clothes so she must Really like this guy, i guess. good for her tho shes my coolest sibling. and thanks SHJDKFKA were really devoted to her. also ive been accused of simping for her by the ice skater which is extremely funny because this is not even the first time ive been accused of being into a 30-40 y/o woman by someone at school [ITS ALL CHILL BTW its just for the shits. still. attacked and slandered!]. and same ajdkfjgj tho in his role its actually Quite Annoying for my class since like. we NEED to get things done sometimes and he just. does not do that. like literally our english teacher [who also looks like shes constantly dead inside and hates her job but we love her] did more to help us with this one thing than he did even tho she did not have to do that in any capacity. shes just epic. AHH GOOD LUCK WITH THAT!! i love ignoring meta sooooo much which might sound weird from someone who spends half his life grinding for stuff in honkai but its true. honkai is literally the only game where i care about meta and thats bc honkai meta is UNFORGIVING. but hey at least the gacha is much better with the 100 pulls guarantee for each char + 50 pull guarantee for gear pieces. IM NOT VERY GOOD WITH OTTO LORE TO BE ENTIRELY HONEST as in i know quite a lot of it but it hasnt quite Clicked in my head BUT IM ALWAYS HAPPY TO ANSWER ANY QUESTIONS AB THEM YOU MAY HAVE [<- GUY WHO IS SOO SO NORMAL]. AND YEAH SKIRK IS SO FUCKIGN FUNNY TO ME like the way she was previously described painted her as just so strong and intimidating but her speech pattern is so funny to me shes so chill. i feel like i could meet her smoking her evening cig and shed tell me where to pirate shit. id do a polish joke here but it is literally untranslatable without a 30 minute long backstory so nevermind. AND OOOOOH EPIC ALSO RIGHT?????? i respect voice actors above anyone else. ahh good luck getting navia!!!!!! i was Planning to pull for her but im much less efficient at grinding rn since i got a screentime limit due to having fucked up eyes [which im Not following btw but i am trying to touch grass a little bit more at least] [this is also the reason why i responded so late im sorry the change kinda threw me out of the loop]. ah understandable i was. well not Very high but enough to have trouble without decent gear so yeah. good luck in the future farming tho!! AND RIGHT I AGREE tho honestly the alternative would be an exam at like FOUR PM which is actually Worse imo. i personally function pretty well during my 7am classes and learned to enjoy them [public transport is very charming early in the morning..... i get to catch the sunrise sometimes] but that is also because i live like maybe 40 minutes away from my school. so i get up at around 6 am to get to school.

[ignore the random paragraph break i hit the character limit JSJFIGKJSWIJF] some of my classmates, however, have to get up at 4 am which. respect i could never. anyway thanks!!! the exam went quite well actually hehehe im doing much better in history than i thought. im becoming a nerd along with my entire friend group. every single day someone has new historical memes to share and theres already some inside jokes as well. fun. AND AHHHHHH THATS SO EPIC!!!!!!! i love this series sososoososooso much even tho i didnt have time to start the 3rd volume yet... however i DID read a translation of the "she's so cheeky for a commoner!" web novels and im about to read the light novel so im quite excited for that. first and only loretta and pipi fan ever.....

[gaystreetsmarts]

"i had to knock you out" "how many times?" "five😏"

did they just kill melissa. did they just.

more gay werewolves!!! <3 this show still hurt my mom though 🔪

theo truly is just "so... u gonna kill him? not that i care... i dont care what you do... im just gonna, yknow, follow you around and make sure you dont do anything stupid but i dont care though"

"im here for moral support" "for him or for me?" "you need to have morals" malia i love you

OHHH AARON IS ALEX FROM RUNAWAYS

i get beacon hills clearly has no screening process for staff at all based on its history of teachers but fr fr how did this lady ever get a counseling job

OH YEAH ITS THEIR ANNIVERSARY so shes homophobic too 🙄 ugh

why didnt they bring flashlights to the dark creepy tunnels?? one of u is human maybe be smart dinguses

yall both just saw someone die you're really in the mood???

LMAO I THOUGHT THE EDITING OF THE SPIDERS WAS BAD LOOK AT THEM TURNING TO ROCK LMAO this last one looked like someone just moved a cutout on photoshop oh my goddd

[faintlyof]

i don’t usually stray too far from my comfort zone and like try new things

but yesterday and today, i felt a bit more...productive? grounded? i dunno, a little different than usual. i actually opened the curtain and EVEN opened the actual window

literally for the first time since i moved in here almost 2 years ago

(rambling about food and trying new things under the cut)

so today i was feeling a bit antsy and snacky and was contemplating yet another round of mcdonalds when i found myself scrolling through uber eats...

i got paid (not a lot) but my mom helped me out last month so i had a bit extra money and decided to try something else that looked yummy

i wound up looking at korean food and i dont really eat korean food so i dont really know what anything was and also its all in japanese so i just picked out some keywords

but after a lot of scrolling back and forth, i finally took the leap and ordered not one, not two, not three, but four new things! (im counting the drink as new too...)

i was nervous it would be too spicy or i just wouldnt like it and i had wasted my money, but i literally remembered when txt taehyun said that he used to be scared of change so you should start with little things like trying a new type of ramen and that eventually the body remembers that not all change is bad, so i figured if i didnt like it, i would know for the future and i could have some bonus chocolate to soothe the sting and if i didnt like it then there’d be no problem

well, i have just finished eating everything (and it was a lot) and...it was amazing!???

im about to mutilate these romanizations, but i dont really know how to english korean words (im familiar with some, but now many) and also now ive only seen them in katakana so...not the best way to work but ah well

anyways, i got...pork and potato kimchi sundubo (スンドゥブ), cheese tteobokki (トッポギ), hotteok (ホットク), and corn silk tea? sorry again for possibly mangling those, i ate a lot and now im too tired to do anything. xD

my least favorite was probably the hotteok, but the more i ate it, the yummier it got. i guess im neutral on it. it reminded me of a lot of different anko sweets that i dont like on the first bite but by the end im like hmmm not awful actually

i literally got the tteobokki because of that adorable clip of txt taehyun pointing to the menu saying cheese tteobokki and honestly, i get it, it was fucking amazing

the sundubo (??? wtf is thisss??) was also seriously good. it had more tofu than i was expecting, which was my bad, all the descriptions raved about the shops in-house tofu and the tofu is probably one of the main points of the dish, like i said, i didnt really read too much. im not really a tofu person, but it tasted really good in the soup and with the potato and meat. i know im allergic to soy, but i think tofu is processed enough that it doesnt give me issues, i’ve just never found a way to eat it that makes me want to eat it more xD

and lastly the corn silk tea. opened the bottle, smells like my favorite corn chips, took  a sip, tastes like my favorite corn chips but liquid form. 10/10, would drink again!

i started watching All of Us Are Dead to get myself fully in the korean mood and....wow. i really pulled off a successful night! ♡

oh, i just realized the shop name literally has tofu in it xD reading comprehension 0! xD

but yeah, im really happy i convinced myself to try something new. it was a bit pricier than i usually do for delivery but i dont regret it. now im gonna finish the first episode (i didnt realize it was like actually an hour, not “an hour” aka 44 minutes) so i still have like 15 minutes to go

i dont know what ill do after that but, for the time being, im happy~

[scarlethallow160]

why tf do one bedroom apartments have to be so expensive (this is a huge vent dump pls avert your gazes)

my roommate keeps inviting people to our apartment without fucking telling me (or waiting til the LAST possible second to do so) even tho i’ve said time and time again i hate when people do that especially cuz he has a bad habit of doing that when we have plans where he just invites other people (esp people i barely know or dont know at all) without telling me or anyone else that was already involved. its even more aggravating cuz when this is brought up he acts like he makes sure to avoid this and he fucking doesnt like when i lived with an old friend and an ex-friend, him and our other friend invited someone to our place (so they invited a stranger to a place they did not live at) and none of them fucking told me until i was literally about to walk inside after work and like am i crazy or do people not see how rude that is?? like dawg thats my fucking home U GOTTA TELL ME WHEN PEOPLE THAT DO NOT LIVE THERE ARE GOING TO BE THERE

and if ur going to force me to interact with strangers have the decency to introduce us???? once we went to meet with some friends (not rly but i’d met them before) and ig one of their sisters was there and they just. didnt introduce us to each other? and we were on opposite ends of the table so its not like we could really interact either? and they did this when we got invited to another friends bday thing where someone i’d never been introduced to was there and they didnt fuckin introduce us and i was anxious cuz i was sitting across from her and finally had to be like “oh hi are u x? i’m so-and-so” like jesus christ is this not common sense for people? why are yall okay with forcing complete strangers to hangout

and with work today i was so overstimulated and got more and more aggravated by this cuz like i dont want to have to move every year and one bedrooms are so expensive rn but im so fucking tired of going thru this. not to mention we dont have a ceiling fan in our living room so he turns down the ac rly low when people are over so it jacks up our ac bill so it makes me even More anxious cuz him inviting people over = social anxiety for me and general anxiousness knowing our bill is going to be higher

i was so aggravated by this i ended up skipping out on plans we had today cuz my roommate also talks about himself. a lot. and we were out with friends like yesterday night or smthing and he kept going on and on about some guys he’s talking to on a dating app and i knew that would just make me angrier and idk it kinda sucked that one of my other friends involved thought i felt i was rly close with didnt seem to gaf either that i abruptly dropped out and theres obviously something wrong with me mental health-wise cuz i have this really bizarre self-sabotaging tendency when my mood severely dips where i convince myself no one cares or everyone hates me and think of this dark scenarios and just kind of start spiraling

and with my anger issues i go thru this weird loop of understanding a lot of my emotional/temperamental and communication issues stems from my fucked up family cuz my mom is super vain/self-absorbed and never thinks she can be wrong and basically my sisters are the same so i keep things bottled up and end up getting REALLY angry with no healthy outlet until i reach a breaking point and im just not great with communicating how i rly feel either cuz talking to my family was like talking to a brick wall and my older sister would literally cut me off constantly telling me to shut up so i rarely communicate things beyond like....joking around and stuff so i tend to vent/trauma dump into the void on social media lmfao which is obviously not healthy at all either but like......yeah it also sucks when i start spiraling and thinking back on this shit that i’ll never get closure from the longterm issues i developed from my family cuz now they want to act like we’re this tight-knit super close family that always got along and even if i were to ever bring this shit up they’d just point fingers or deny doing anything wrong.

 idk like its nice having a group of friends i can hangout with and stuff irl but also i feel like i cant ever really talk to them about anything like this that im going thru cuz i also feel super uncomfortable thinking i might be making things about myself (and honestly i do hate when people trauma-dump on me completely out of nowhere so i also want to avoid doing that)

also whats stopping me about addressing these issues with my roommate is cuz he has a tendency to victimize himself and thinking hes just being attacked? like he’s also super self-deprecating All the time which is also extremely exhausting to deal with constantly and it pisses me off that with our other friend/my old roommate, my current roommate kisses his ass and listened to him when he told him these issues of him being too self-deprecating etc. but ik if anyone else did he would just feel sorry for himself

im tired of this