#but its just the like. knowing theres blocks of time dedicated to something out of my control i guess?

[semercury]

Haunted by Dread 😗✌️

[necroromantics]

Also gonna make things clear cuz I've just been listening to my gf and not engaging but seriously man this is insane.

I'm not a Nazi, in the full screenshots which they cropped out, I said I had another server with absolutely no rules (besides dont be a pedo), and I was saying that in that server, everything was allowed. You people need to understand that not being able to care about something does NOT mean you support it. Its not black or white

I have NEVER said anything or made jokes regarding rape/sa, that is actually one of the things (including pedophilia) that I am very morally against. I have not spent so much of my time helping my friends report their rapists, helping vulnerable people get out of extortion online, and being there for the people in my life who have experienced that just for some randos online to lie to people about me.

The most I have made is your mom jokes and necro jokes, which I personally don't consider morally wrong, and if they are, then I'll work on it, but I don't have the same understanding of things like that. I never learned where the line is like most people have, and thats why Im dedicated to learning it in adulthood

And do not make drug use a moral issue. My "morality" about drug use is completely nonexistent because I grew up in that. I have spent many years heavily involved with drugs, I know exactly what its like, and nothing about drugs is a moral issue.

And here again the same issue of straight up fucking ableism bro. Don't try to shame me for not having conventional morals when you know damn well I, and many other people, struggle with conditions that impact that (ASPD). Hearing about the ableism towards people like me from these guys isn't surprising in the slightest

I'm not gonna say I didn't say those things, cuz like I said, I said those things, I made those jokes, and I've said worse. The difference now is that those things were said more than a year ago. It's insane how you act high and mighty and then judge me on things I said that long ago to friends who made the same jokes and encouraged that kind of behaviour (none of which I talk to anymore, for the exact reason that they encouraged my bad behaviour).

I said what I said, I know it was wrong, I take full accountability. I have spent my time since doing my best to be more than that. I have spent a lot of my time trying to adjust to moral and social norms, even when it gets really difficult and I have to deal with people like this who wont give me space to grow and change for the better.

I have amazing friends and mutuals and people in my life who support me because they know how hard I try. My girlfriend even is a fucking hardass and would NOT have put up with any of my shit if she didn't see how hard I try. I've spent a lot of time with people who are like how I was, people who have done and said much worse things than me, and I understand how uncomfortable and jarring it is. Thats exactly why I'm so passionate about being more than that. And thats why this situation bothers me so much.

You all talk about me and how I mention my disorder as if you're not just shitting on stuff that is directly tied into having ASPD. And to hear that you have a history of that stuff? Im not crazy to say theres a lot of ableism going on here. I will always be open and honest about the person I have been, but I want it to be used as a reference point for how much I've grown and changed since then.

I will always be an advocate for people like me. I will always give support and speak out for those who struggle with being treated like a bad person because of the things they say, not because of who they are. (And if you know anything about people, you know theres a huge difference)

You guys have been on me for MONTHS way after I blocked and went on with my life. In those months you've spent doing nothing but nitpicking everything single thing Ive ever done and constantly spreading negativity, I have been working on myself, and I hope that somewhere along the line, you guys have or will too

But anyways, I needed to get this out. I hope that this blows over and I can continue working on living a life full of joy and love and keeping the good people in my life. And despite everything, I hope that for all of you guys as well, I hope that you can find peace and some happiness where it counts

[nanithethottie]

Dear Diary #004

God is great. 

I woke up feeling better. Last night my ex and I talked and he basically wished me well. And I’m starting to learn how true happiness is acceptance. Because the divine is always working in our favor. I need to have faith, hope, and trust that everything will be okay. Today is August 2nd. Last night was a full moon in aquarius. Its so interesting because we talked right before the full moon. Then last night he texted me essentially accepting that we need to release and let go, positively. 

“Ideally, you want to emit an energetic frequency that corresponds with who you are in your heart and soul. Anything that blocks this energetic expression needs to be released so you can share your authentic vibration.“

Im ready to embrace change. Its hard having to let go, but its harder to stay stuck. 

I woke up this morning and went on a run!!! It was beautiful, the sun was rising, yet I was still able to see the moon in all its glory. I ran past a group of women working out and said goodmorning. Its beautiful being in a space with so many people working on their own little fitness journeys. You don’t know why, but you know it requires dedication. I like to think maybe theyre using it to run off their heartbreak just like me, and I’m not alone in that sense. I also ran past homeless people sleeping in the park. it inspired me to give love. I want to give and spread love in any way that i can. I want to tell so many people that theres hope, that somebody loves them, that everything will be okay, and that life is about choices, but hard times don’t last forever if you don’t allow them to. Im tearing up right now lol

Also I want to analyze these tears, because they come from so many places. I am grieving the loss of the relationship, yet celebrating it. Theyre happy tears for how proud I am of myself. They also shed in the compassion of others around me, knowing what its like to feel low, I cry for them. 

The park is so significant for me . this is such a significant transit of time. Especially with the moon. My cards mentioned the Lunar cycle. 

The park was a representation of facing my fears, and turning a negative circumstance into something positive, attacking it head on. I literally ran towards my fears, and pushed myself to run through it instead of away from it, which is beautiful. I cried. I cried running past the spot that we had walked down days before. I looked at the sun rise behind the shaded tree we sat where I made the decision that I wanted better.

Im so grateful for him and everything thats happened. For so long, long before him, I struggled with my habits and making them stick. i struggled with making necessary changes and focusing. But I feel it now. I feel ready to focus.

Im grateful for the opportunity to have experienced love, sex, sadness, addiction, recovery, heartbreak, joy. Without rain, there are no rainbows. 

XOX

NANI

[spyoikawa]

hello hello! i hope you’re doing well :D

i am currently on that saiki k brainrot and was wondering if i could request saiki, aren (okay but like he’s so attractive for what aksjdhgajd), metori, and hairo with an s/o who’s a non-binary afab (assigned female at birth) ballet dancer? (if that’s too specific just a ballet dancer is fine) as a non-binary afab ballet dancer myself (who’s currently on break from ballet) it can get pretty hard and damaging to my mental health and i just need some validation from attractive fictional characters-

thank you! <3

Y o u. Your interaction makes my day 💀 but oml I love this, thank you for requesting! (I 100% agree with your opinions on aren)

And I am so sorry how long this took I've been in a writing block lately-

A/N I heavily recommend trans and nonbinary readers check out

*READER IS AFAB*

Saiki, Aren, Saiko, and Hairo with a Non-Binary Ballet Dancer S/O

♡romantic♡

Saiki Kusuo

He *supposedly* can't go to your practices, because there's too many things that would draw attention to him, but he still makes sure you're OK using clairvoyance, he watches from a distance

However when practice is over he will go over to walk you home with snacks and drinks

If you forget something he quickly pops over when no one is looking and slips it into your bag

He does go to as many of your performances as possible though. He acts like its a pain but he enjoys seeing your hard work pay off. He stays in the back rows, so it might be hard to see him while on stage but he comes up to greet you after the show

He knows it's difficult doing such a binary coded activity, so he offers as much mental help as possible

Placing good affirmations in your thoughts, hanging out with you while you're on a break, and showing interest when you're ready to start again

Aren Kuboyasu

Let's be 100% honest here, he has no idea how tf ballet works, but he knows it's not to be taken lightly and it's a lot of work

He shows up to as many practices as possible, and if he can't he insists on at least walking you to make sure you have everything you need

Is blown away by every single one of your performances, it doesn't matter how you think you did, all he knows is that to him it looked stunning

Brings you your favorite flowers or treats as a congratulations and treats you to dinner after :)

He was a bit confused when you needed to take a break

But upon realizing how strict and traditional ballet can be, he supports you through your break

He's proud of you for making it this far, and prioritizing your mental health

Once again, he doesn't know anything about ballet, but he probably goes on a tangent or 2 about how stupid it was that all your outfits had skirts

If you ever go back to ballet after your break, he makes sure to go to your first practices to make sure you're ok

Saiko Metori

He gives off "took ballet classes as a kid cause it was either that or piano" vibes, so he probably understands your situation more than anyone

He definitely goes to most of your practices to make sure your studio and instructors are at least decent in his eye and is sure to get you nice equipment to prevent discomfort or injuries

He's probably more eager for you to take a break than you are, because he knows it's hard. When you do take a break, he becomes uncharacteristically nice to you

If you're bummed about loosing practice time, or missing the movements or how you felt while by yourself, he has a little studio in his house that you can use

If you just need time to recharge and calm down, he's ready to just chill and hang out with you all you want

Once you're ready to go back, he starts going to practices with you using his former knowledge to keep up. If you're gonna have to partner up with anyone it's going to be him. End of discussion

He usually doesn't like wearing clothes like this, but he'll carry around a sweatshirt with him so you can cover up after practice if you're feeling a bit dysphoric

Hairo Kineshi

Goes to all your practices

Even if he can only show up for 5 minutes because of his own sport practice, he will show up

As a class rep and competitive athlete, he knows that a little encouragement can go a long way, so imagine how far a lot can go!

He just wants you to know you have his support and he thinks you're doing a great job

He makes sure to get seats front and center at all your recitals, he wants to have a clear view of you, and wants you to be able to notice him in the audience

Number one hypeman after you do literally anything!

He knows you're working hard and putting in your effort and there's nothing more admirable than that

However if you need to take a break that's ok too! Breaks are good for you, because it means you'll come back better than ever

Contrary to the others who soften up for you, Hairo stays the same as ever, if anything more enthusiastic. Maybe you need a break from ballet but that just means there's more time to indulge yourself in other interests and time with him

When you're ready to go back, he's thrilled and ready to see you back in action! Nothing makes him happier than seeing you enjoy yourself and seeing all the hard work and dedication paying off and coming to a beautiful resolve

I hope that was OK! Thank you very much for your patience! Please let me know if there's anything I can do to fix it or improve my writing! I did write this at 1 am so theres bound to be a blip or two there 😅

[i-simp-for-gintoki]

Gojo with a foreign s/o who can’t read japanese

“Gojo with a foreign reader who cant read the language and helps” me self

Decided just to do this for fun since this is kinda how i am. I can speak and listen really well but when it comes to writing or reading in another language it aint happenin chief

He loves hearing you talk

The accent isnt super strong but you still say things out of order or mispronounce stuff

He finds it adorable

Or how you get all confused when too many people are talking at once

Or if your spoken to too fast

Definitely teaches you the wrong words on purpose

But at the correct time

So like you'd mess up a word and instead of telling you the proper way to fix it he just says a random asspull to throw you off in the future

Constantly teases you about it

Theres only been one or two times when he’s truly been confused by what you were trying to say but he was quick to catch on

When he introduces you to his students, tricks you into saying something really insulting

In the end he doesn’t care that japanese isn’t your first language

But despite your speaking skills he did slowly notice something

If he ever gave you something to read like a movie pamphlet you wouldn’t comment much on it and would either read it waay to fast or waay to slow

Whenever you guys went out to eat you almost always got the same thing he did

And so he decided to test something

He took you out to a restaurant that you guys have never been too

Nothing too fancy just a 3-4 star restaurant

He hasn’t told you a thing about this place, the food, style, price, nothing

And you didn’t like it

Its been a few minutes since you guys have sat down and enough time to atleast know the style of food so he asks

“What are you gonna get?” he says, resting his head in one hand

“Who knows, just so many options ya know? What about you?” you ask but he shakes his head

“I asked first”

You stare at the menu for a few seconds and internally sigh

Pointing to a random one, you said it sounded pretty good but it might be a bit much for you

He simply hums at that

Little do you know he had given you a drinks menu, nothing to do with the food

“Y/n do you know my name?” he suddenly asks

“Huh, of course i do, its Satoru”

“Write it” “huh?”

He gives you a pen from his pocket and slides over a napkin

“Write my name”

At this point your starting to grow more nervous

He found out didn’t he, oh no he’s gonna see how stupid i am and break up. Who would want to date someone who can’t even read??

You do your best to write his name but he waves his hand in dismissal

“Nah, write it in kanji” “names are really specific though”

He sighs and proceeds to explain the kanji for his name which honestly just went right over your head

You attempted to write something and when you slide the napkin back, you hold your head down in shame

He looks down at the napkin and then back up towards you, blue eyes blocked by his sunglasses while he watches your depressed state

“Y/n, im gonna make a complete wild guess and say you can’t read or write Japanese” he says leaning back in his seat

You sigh, why lie?

“It’s that obvious?” you say finally raising your head

“Well to be honest, it did take a second for me to realize. Its pretty funny honestly” he laughs

“So are you gonna break up with me?” you ask and he looked genuinely surprised by your question

“Why would I do that? You really think I care for something as small as this? It would be different if you completely couldnt understand japanese, but we wouldnt be together in the first place then would we?”

God you loved him

It made you so happy to hear that

He starts buying you little kid books

Those books that are like cardboard, filled with pictures and only have one or two words each page? Yeah you have a small bookshelf full of them now

He’s very dedicated to this bit

Every night (if hes not away on a mission) he reads you a small story and expects you to follow along

If your not living together he’d call or facetime and read the stories

Gives you little flashcards to help you learn

He would be a great and horrible teacher

Like yeah sure he’d teach you some things but also completely skip over the rules for grammar and how to use certain words

you end up being able to write but its in a very arrogant and rude way

Everyone can tell its gojo who taught you how to write because of that

He’ll teach you a word or two but in the complete wrong accent solely for his own entertainment

Gojo would have you read the stories at some point and loves to hear you work out how to read a word

he loves seeing how happy you get when you finally read through a short story without messing up

“congrats! you now have the literature skills of a three year old” hed say with a bright smile and immediately rain on your parade

[enderspawn]

dream smp asagao au, aka the very specific high school au

also aka the post thats very self indulgent for me and maybe 3 other people.

in short: its a dsmp high school au based on the game asagao academy, where everyone is part of a gaming club and compete against one another in tournaments. more in depth info about the AU/Asagao itself, as well as more info about the plot and roles of the AU itself.

Asagao Academy Basics

So to start, let’s cover the basics: what is Asagao Academy. ….well, an old Youtuber dating sim game (which, despite unfortunately including some fairly questionable CCs, IS still really good and well written and I recommend it) But what is it for AU purposes?

Asagao Academy is a highly elite world-wide boarding school set in Japan for those who are either rich enough to afford it, or those skilled enough to get scholarships. Within the game, there are two main clubs: Normal Boots and Hidden Block. They’re both gaming clubs, and joining is seen as super exclusive since they’re ALSO the most popular people in the school.

The two clubs compete with each other in various tournament events with specific categories. For example: Satch (from NB) and Jimmy (from HB) both compete in the “Tech and Invention” category, where they have to create/invent something related to gaming and have it judged at the event like a science fair. Meanwhile, Jared (from NB) and Wallid (from HB) both compete in “Dance” aka DDR and the person with the highest score wins.

The other categories featured in game include: Puzzle games (like Bejeweled or Tetris), Video Game Trivia, Pinball, Retro Platformers, a three-person fighting game, and 100% completion speedruns. So tldr; the categories can be kind of fiddled with and be whatever you want them to be, because even the original ones are pretty wack.

Also, there’s no rules against competing in multiple categories— in fact, most of the HB members in game do! It’s more about balancing time and practicing for them alongside school and other activities.

The winner of the competition is the team/competitor(s) with the most total wins.

Another thing to note: despite competing as clubs, they’re all actually pretty good friends. It’s all lighthearted and fun in the end, hell the leader of the opposing club even helps the main character join the main club just because he wants a decent challenge.

Speaking of… the main character! Hana Mizuno! I don’t have any current plans to include her in this AU (a la new dating routes), but I wanted to mention her for a few reasons.

For the main reason: her hair. Even as soon as she shows up, Mai (her best friend and roommate, who can break the 4th wall) immediately calls her out for her hair for looking like a main character which as we learn… isn’t an exaggeration. She’s literally a born protagonist, thus being born with naturally pink hair and a tragic backstory. Not only that, but other people are also born protagonists with pink hair as well— she isn’t an exception.

About the AU -- Revolution Era

A few things to note: in this au, when I first drafted it I… wasn’t looking to include 20+ people. I cut a lot of characters, but instead working with the idea that they’re still THERE, they just… don’t compete? Either they aren’t in the club and are just friends with the members, or they’re members who just don’t compete professionally. It’s nothing personal against those CCs and tbh as times goes they may get added more, but for now they’re just in the BG vibin.

It covers a really basic retelling of s1 for most of the planned au. It starts with One Club: the Dream Team. Members include: Dream (sophomore), Sapnap (sophomore), George (junior), Wilbur (junior), Eret (junior), and Fundy (freshman).

For reasons, possibly just as a goof or spite towards their American counterparts, Wilbur declares independence from the Dream Team and makes his OWN gaming club: L’Manberg. He takes Eret (a close friend from his grade) and Fundy (the freshman he immediately adopted) with him, causing the two teams to be 3v3.

But Wilbur’s got a dastardly surprise up his sleeve: TOMMY, HIS YOUNGER BROTHER (bc I am nothing if not a dedicated crimebros stan), AND TUBBO. They’re both too young to actually attend Asagao yet, but theres no age rules in the actual competitions so its fair play. They’re Wilbur’s secret weapon. After all, a 5v3 where the team with the most wins wins the competition? That’s a massive advantage.

… we all know how this goes though don’t we. Wilbur’s day be so fine, then BOOM, Eret betrayal 😔

In this case Eret feels it’s a LITTLE unfair to blindside them like that, plus Dream promised to make him the Leader of the Dream Team and, yknow, that kind of stuff DOES look good on resumes, so…

TLDR; Eret rejoins the Dream Team crew, as well as informing them of Wilbur’s plan with including Tommy and Tubbo and becomes leader. They’re still letting Dream and Co. basically actually do the leading, they don’t care that much, the title is just nice. L’Manberg cusses her out and promises to hold a grudge, but it’s all in good fun. After all, they’re just teens goofing around and playing. The clubs are again 4v4.

Dream tells the L’Manberg club that they can separate, sure… under one condition. They have to win the competition. If they lose, they have to rejoin the Dream Team club.

L’Manberg accepts, but come competition day… they lose. Tommy outright challenges Dream post awards to a speedrun competition for L’Manberg instead. …which Dream professionally competes in, and Tommy DOESN’T.

He loses, but he puts up a good fight despite having little to no actual practice put in, so Dream “grants” L’Manberg their “Independence”. (In this au, instead of being like… weirdly obsessive over Tommy, it’s a lot more “he sees himself in Tommy and wants to support/mentor him” and a “friendly rivalry” kind of deal bc its a damn HIGH SCHOOL AU)

So L’Manberg can be it’s own club! …Next year, when Tommy and Tubbo actually attend, since Wilbur and Fundy aren’t allowed a two person club.

About the AU -- Election Era

SO time skip! Congrats, everything up to now has been BACKSTORY. It’s now the next school year, with two main clubs (I’ve tried to keep them fairly balanced, which is why not all CCs are featured, sorry!)

Dream Team club:

Dream - junior

George - senior

Sapnap - junior

Eret - senior

Punz - junior

BBH - senior

Awesamdude - junior

Ponk - junior

L’Manberg club:

Wilbur - senior

Tommy - freshman

Tubbo - freshman

Fundy - sophomore

Schlatt - senior

Quackity - junior

Niki - sophomore

Jack - sophomore

(Also fun fact! Their grades are loosely based on the CCs actual ages! …Except Fundy, who got Baby-fied to fit the “Wilbur’s Kid” joke, and Eret bc it fit better to be the same age as Wilbur I thought. Oops HEKANDNSN)

So, for whatever Reason (listen this was an au I made in like one night when plagued with brainrot, it’s not all figured out), L’Manberg holds an election. Maybe it’s related to Wilbur wanting L’Manberg to be meaningfully different from Dream Team, maybe it’s a joke, idk!

…. SOMEHOW, Schlatt wins. Which ticks off Wilbur a lot. It’s his damn club, and the whole point was to avoid Americans, tf?? The two start to feud a lot and it threatens to split the club entirely via ppl taking sides. Worse, it means people aren’t practicing for the competition.

All while this is happening, there’s a new intrigue building. Dream catches word of an infamous player in the area, someone known to win entire competitions against teams of people all by HIMSELF. A man with bright bubblegum pink hair called Technoblade. That’s right, literal universe-assigned protagonist Techno. If Dream could enlist him, there’s no doubt in hell they’d be able to beat L’Manberg.

L’Manberg hears of him too and works to try and enlist him as well, so he basically gets courted by both clubs trying to get him to play for them to mixed results. He’s pretty chill vibin by himself, so what’s in it for him? (….I don’t know, remember how this is a WIP au I worked on once?)

Eventually, a teacher named Phil (who’s been the honorary sponsor of the L’Manberg club) gets pissed at Schlatt and Wilbur’s fighting and bans both from competing (aka this AUs version of them dying). Which fucking SUCKS for L’Manberg. They’re now going 6v8 with a wildcard player who’s undeclared on which side he’ll join, if at all.

… honestly, that’s as far as I got. Theoretically, Techno joins L’Manberg to reflect Pogtopia and they win. I never had plans to go into s2 due to its darker theme, but there are definitely changes that could (and might?) be made for the s1 plot just so it flows better.

I already had to shift Wil and Schkatt’s “deaths” to fit, unless I were to have them LITERALLY make a new club. Maybe Schlatt uses his power as Club President to make them work with Dream Team (to the point it basically merges the clubs). Sure, they might be guaranteed to win now but it removes the competition and fun as well as the spirit of OG L’Manberg. So then Wilbur rebels and makes his own club AGAIN, calling it Pogtopia with the intent to get L’Manberg back. Then Techno, intrigued with this group of like 2-3 ppl going against a team of like 13ish people, decides to join them. Idk! Alternative possible plot based more closely on s1 I guess!

I’m gonna add a list of characters in full with their age, their club, and what they compete in (if it’s already brainstormed, most ppl are unknown) below

Character List

dream (DT) - junior - speedrunning

george (DT) - senior - coding/tech and invention

sapnap (DT)- junior -

eret (DT) - senior -

wilbur (LM) - senior - rhythm game/guitar hero-esque

tommy (LM) - freshman - (possibly pick up speed running during election arc?)

tubbo (LM) - freshman - chess

fundy (LM) - sophomore - coding/tech and invention

schlatt (LM) - senior - he never actually declares what he plans to play and then gets banned anyway, aka no game kekw

quackity (LM)- junior - dance

niki (LM) - sophomore -

jack (LM) - sophomore-

punz (DT) - junior -

bbh (DT) - senior -

awesamdude (DT) - junior -

ponk (DT) - junior

technoblade (SOLO) - junior - multiple categories

FINAL BIT

here’s some scraps for ppl who know Asagao already as well as small bits I didn’t bother to write up any further

- Karl, much like Mai, is ALSO aware of the 4th wall and has time travel powers because of it.

- Purpled (undecided if he’s a solo player like Techno or has his own team he competes with that’s not a formal club) plays Literally Bedwars in competitions

- Callahan is the Dream Team club sponsor, Phil is L’Manberg’s club sponsor

- Karlnapity is real and canon bc I say so

- both for balance/laziness, every person only competes in one category. also bc it makes Techno that much more Protagonist-y that he does

- I made this AU in like February man idk I’m just vibin

- Fuck I never even included Ranboo huh

[foryouthegays]

techno liveblog w timestamps lets go for ‘a new home (dream SMP)’ stream

good laugh times: 00:13:50, 00:14:55, 1:38:45, ik it doesnt look like a lot but like u should watch the stream anyway bc philzas there and his laugh is amazing and they just go so well together

times techno calls phil his friend: 00:6:00 00:37:00, 00:45:17, 0:1:09:30, 01:11:15, 01:26:35, 01:50:05, 2:35:00

FSDJKFAF;LS HE KEPT THE MUTED INTRO IN JHKADFLS (ends at 00:1:25)

i like how, when faced with Leaving Youtube, techno would choose to be an author. i want a book by techno. reblog this if u want a book by techno (with an audiobook by him as well) /hj. 00:1:33

i love how he says ehhhhhh so much lskjhdfas (abt 2 mins in) 

who the FUCK just remembers that the word fortuitous exists wtf 00:5:17

00:7:45 PHILZA TIME PHILZA TIME LETS GO

00:8:55 tommy time :/

0:14:10 rANBOO JUST WALKS IN, LOOKS AROUN ,AND LEA VE SIM CRYING 

i love how much philza laughs at technos jokes bc pretty much everything he says IS a joke he just says it in such a serious voice that p much everyone else is like,,,yeah,,,,yup,,,,and phil just knows when hes joking and his laugh is so good with technos voice. sbi? whos that? i only know philza and technoblade

00:19:30 ghostbur joins! this is my first time hearin ghostbur btw

00:19:40 haha string axe technos so bad at crafting what a fool /j

00:21:07 ghostbur: “Even I remember how to make a fishing rod!” ghostbur u just MURDERED technoblade oh my god im gonna scream hgjdfksla i love ghostbur so much

00:23:55: GHOSTBUR NO!! DON’T DIE YOU’LL BECOME A DOUBLE GHOST!!!! -technoblade 2020

00:24:55 technoblade neva lies -guys he almost did the technoblade neva dies ahh!!!!!

i havent heard anyone talk about this but techno has a dedicated roleplay voice. like listen to him talk to tommy at 00:25:08. his voice gets more even, he uses names a lot more often (seriously, listen to his theseus speech. he says tommy so often, its incredible.), and his voice gets,,,,deeper? not deeper but smoother, in a way, and he repeats what he says for emphasis instead of humor. and his voice is louder, and he seems more assertive. 

00:27:30 philza: where we goin, by the way? techno: to our- to my new home. 

techno cmon let phil live w u wed get so much more content cmonn

00:28:50 the fact that he calls the manhunt theme “dream music” makes me laugh so hard. and then his version of it,,,,,m love he (also he sings it here and at  01:14:20)

00:35:10 why is ranboo so cryptic im-

why does he just casually know the word sentry wh at i hate him 00:39:45

this is the worst sentence (structurally) ive ever heard techno say im gonna cry 00:49:33 ‘im too busy thinkin of new ideas to sleep so i could actually execute them’ and tubbos *oh?* after is just hdsfgkjlka

LKSJDHFJK 00:51:49

00:54:30

techno: thats one of dreams powers, he can just stop the rain

tubbo, quietly: like jesus!

i love them sm dsfhkjla they kept going but i jus gdfhjksa jesus has op

techno @ being the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans: haha funnie!!

techno @ having fun w religious stuff: i wILL BE CANCELLED NO-

00:58:10 “hey if ur [ghostbur]  a ghost, do instant damage potions heal you now?” “...no,, they hurt me still :(” DSIULZKJHFSLKFJH 

01:04:00 his brother named the cow bob im- aww 

also he has a fanart wall again!!!

01:09:30 “phil, you’re the only friend i have left in this world.” aWWWWW HE GAVE HIM THE COMPASS 

“dont smoke, it’s a joke” -technoblade 01:14:15

ROLEPLAY SPEECH VOICE IS BACK AT 1:16:10 “they pillage my base for everything i’m worth, they use me for the revolution, but oooOOOoo i took a pickaxe with his consent? oOOOooOo i’m a thief!”

holy shit 01:17:15 “you know what, phil? for you, the world, alright? it’s fine.” oH MY GOD HHHHGHG (context, right before they were arguing bc phil took some blocks from his base and techno thought that when he said phil could take anything he meant from the chests)

the COMIDY of that villager coming in and sleeping while techno was readin donos at 01:22:05 RIGHT AFTER phil freaked out abt inturruptin his dono readin im SFDHKJLA:

techno talkin bout the winstreak and how he wont be able to live up to that sort of playin at 01:22:30ish is super important and ill transcribe it tomorrow, but if u can id highly rec watchin it. 

01:24:20 “[readin dono] what’s your favorite movie? uh, the princess bride is pretty good” techno ily that movie rocks also he said it so fast like hes ashamed of it noo

techno says no to canon ranboo son btw! 01:25:30

01:25:55 “i wasnt in that story, therefore it doesnt matter” all of technoblr be like 

01:37:49 is great lemmie transcribe

“how have you still not gotten a second monitor?? holy shit.”

“let me tell you something. and im only telling you this because i know that so many people in the chat are gonna be furious. so i recently realized- i think the second monitor can just be any ol’ monitor, right? you literally just plug it in, and its set up? well i mean you have to turn on some settings, but like, thats it, or something?”

“yeah,,,,, uh techno you fuckin destroyed my chat, by the way, oh my god, [earlier techno told his viewers to twitch prime philza] there has been like 40 primes just flying through”

“yeahhh twitch prime!!! twitch prime philza yeahh!!! so anyways the other day, i like, i looked to my left, and realized that my old monitor has been like, five feet away from where i sit and stream for the last three years?”

“oh my god...”

“so i- i literally do not have to leave my room to set up a second monitor and i havent. and i’m still usin my laptop for this stream.

“is this gonna be one of those situations where you like, you have a thing, you just refuse to do the thing?”

“listen, my desk is-

“yOU STILL HAVENT OPENED UP THE HYPIXEL PACKAGE!!!”

“AHHHH I HAVENT OPENED UP THE HYPIXEL PACKAGE! I HAVENT EVEN OPENED UP MY MCC COIN! DUDE I HAVENT EVEN OPENED UP MY ONE MILLION SUBSCRIBER PLAQUE! ITS STILL THERE RIGHT BEHIND ME! ITs sTILL IN THE BOX! i never made a video on it....”

“bruhhhhh [philza laughs] thats FREE VIEWS what are you doing??”

“ill open it at 8 mil :/.”

“you could LITERALLY make a video of you just like, throwing it off a wall, and then thumbing up, like doing a thumbs up, and then that would be it. 10 seconds. ten seconds. thumb and elbow in shot. [laughs]”

techno is such a disaster i love him

01:34:18 the way techno says “tommy, that statement has NEVER been true” i dont like sayin i simp for block men but GOD sometimes his voice is nicer than usual hhhgn

“man i sure wish tommyinnit was in this stream” -nobody ever (just after previous timestamp)

01:40:15 is fuckin hilarious and im actually crying oh my god techno just says things and says them well with a completely straight face how does he do it

i cannot WAIT until theres a president w the last/first name andy so we can say president andy and think abt technoblade

IM CRIASDNGUSFHD 01:44:38 PHILZA LOOK OUT LOOK OUT PHILZA  LSKJDAFJASD;LKF

i love when techno talks abt his vids. like u can tell he puts a lot of thought into the vids (esp these ones) and like at 01:47:00 he talks abt the “I DIDNT PUT DEAPTH STRIDER ON THOSE BOOTS, FUNDY!” and how its just that creepin realization that you were doomed from the start and how he made the armor, he isnt intimidated by the netherite bc he didnt enchant it all the way and only he knows that,,, and i just,,,hgg he

he reveals that hes writin the next arc at 01:48:00: “oh, speakin of arcs, chat, i’m writing the next arc. so, you know. hope nothin bad happens in two weeks, chat!” IM SO EXCITED like he clearly has his character fleshed out and is SO good at writing and retellin history im so so excited to see where he takes it AHHHH and also taht means he might stream more bc he might make his character more important (keep in mind this is the guy who wrote self insert hypixel fanfics. he has no shame in puttin himself first and i respect him so much for it) 

01:51:20 “they’re tryin to get a second customer but they’re riskin their first” is lowkey a good line

has anyone else noticed that techno says wise a lot? like at 01:55:10 he literally says “wise dragon armor” as a joke but like i think he says wise so much BECAUSE of skyblock like hjkfdsla

01:57:30 techno plea se eat 

ok 1:58:45 is hilarious and all but at the end of his ramble he says “come back, i miss you” and lowkey im crying 

techno needs to stop knowing his audience more than we know ourselves im hsfkjda 02:05:25 “the chat’s spammin ‘eat technoblade, eat!’ like they’re not gonna start, like, theyre not gonna get super sad if i ended the stream right now, like theyre not gonna all cry ‘i miss technoblade *sniffs* why- whyd he leave to eat food, why did he listen to our advice noooo’”

02:14:50 NEW VIDEO POGGGG CARL THE HORSE POGGGGGG  NOT A STREAM HIGHLIGHT POGGGGG

02:17:40 “i could start a potato farm out here to show how much ive changed” techno last time u made a potato farm u started an entire war that lasted a year that does NOT say calm and retired to me lskgdfjagsldj

02:23:00 why does techno just reference greek mythology so much. makin me scared for his arc. 

also he talks abt smp earth a lot in this stream i love it so much

i also just. love?? how much sbi respect tommy like they bully him but when talkin bout him they just have so much respect for how much work he puts into youtube and i just,,,,hgnn they r friends 

02:33:13 sbi streamer house lets go cmon

02:34:15 “i think if i streamed every day i could keep up” on one hand YE S  but on the ohter oh god techno no we have to keep up tho

hearing techno say “violence isnt the answer” is so scary  02:35:40

02:37:30 technosneeze 

hiS BROTHER SENT HIM 46 DISCORD MESSAGES SFKDJLFLKASF 2:49:25 i love his end screen so much hes just sadness,,,,retirement,,,t,echnoblade,,,the government is going to fall on its own due to lack of organization and ideals,,,,,,subscribe,,,,,sadness,,,,,also 2:50:45 is making me laugh so hard its just sad music and technos like??? whys phil in my house drinking milk????? 

overall, fantastic stream, if ya want some chill techno philza content i highly recommend. 

[thenamesblurrito]

How did you draft SNAP? I've just gotten to the drafting stage of my comic with my brother but idk if theres some certain way to do it.

it’s taken a bit for me to organize my thoughts on this but I have an answer now, and you might not like it: there IS no some certain way to do it! I’ve been working with comics (and poking into the professional field, too O.O) for a few years now, so I do have some general advice for you-

read comics. really. can’t make a comic if you don’t know what a comic is, and since comics are a very specific medium of sequential visual storytelling, all the elements that make it a comic aren’t easily learned through other mediums. page layout, art style communicating tone, character design, story beats, etc. Scott McCloud has some wonderful books on comics, the Hellboy series is genuinely masterful, and honestly you could reread IDW and call it research. i go back and study my favorite webcomics to try and absorb their excellence: TPOH by @modmad is stunning, @avasdemon is gorgeous, and there’s endless more to browse over at @webcomiclibrary

know your story. this is covered by a Whole Heckin Lot of different places, resources, and writers, so I’ll encourage you to go look at comprehensive help if you need plot assistance. keep in mind that everyone drafts differently! you might need everything plotted out, or you could fly by the seat of your pants. physical writing, digital notetaking, verbal processing, all of it is fine as long as it works for you

THUMBNAIL for goodness sake thumbnail before you dedicate to a page. in fact, make practice versions of everything important. mess with character designs until you’re Absolutely Sure you will be alright with drawing them a bajillion times over and over. but specifically, thumbnails are tiny, rough page layouts. tiny so that you don’t get into any details and you can see how easily the page reads even when small, and rough so you aren’t committing and can keep fiddling. even with pages you’ve had in your head forever, a quick simple thumbnail can help smooth the transition from head to page

there’s other, post-drafting things to consider, like formatting and file size and update schedule and getting it out there, but that’s a whole seminar and I’d like to keep this relatively simple

for me, drafting SNAP was an adventure in taking the puzzle pieces my brain seemed to automatically generate (thank you, MADD) and fitting them together in something resembling order. almost all of the plot and twists presented themselves to me with very little work! arranging them however was a hassle. my episode-by-episode breakdown is uh. a mess. because my drafting process is a stream of consciousness solid block of text. here:

01- Welcome to the Academy! An Upgrade to Primes Orion oh no im late trope, monologue about situation, bumps into megs at front gate as creators are saying goodbye, drags orion inside as excuse to ditch them, cut to trine being weirdos at landing pad, screamers making plans to be awesome but whomp whos that chick its windblade and she can fly in root mode, grr immediate one sided rivalry [... this goes on for awhile]

no punctuation, no capitalization, just wordvomit. not every episode has such specific notes, some just say a general plot hook and some character reactions! this first episode however was daydreamed out until I had a pretty solid series of events

I’m early in thumbnailing right now. wish I was further along, actually I wish I simply had SNAP finished so I could read it myself *sob* BUT. it’s chugging along. my thumbnailing setup is a simple grid I scribble over with new layers for every six pages:

last one is blank because I’m in the habit of arranging pages by side-by-side pairs for printing, since that’s been the usual consideration for the comics I worked on before. you can see how messy these are! and they’re by no means final, either, I think I’m going to have to cut down on some pages once I finish thumbnailing this episode. one thing I have kept in mind for SNAP specifically is anime tropes that I can rip off, hence that fifth page being mostly taken up by Orion running to school with toast in his mouth lol

anyway this got long and I am hardly an expert, still workin on my own comic, but I hope this helps! anyone with more resources, tips and tricks, or advice feel free to chime in too, I’m hardly the entirety of comic knowledge

[paneerlajwanti]

What do u do when you are overwhelmed by college? Like there isn't anything much to do but I keep postponing everythin and procrastinating, I just can't focus on anything, and it's been like tht this entire sem, idk what I'll do once exams start🥺🥺 I can't even focus on developing any skills which might prove useful. To sum it up, I can't seem to do anything other than sleeping and worrying about how I'm not doing anything. Is there anything that you do which helps when you can't focus?🥺

Also, I love your blog(and you too) and you are so sweet and nice😘😘

hi anon, (this is an ask for you and an order for me, at least if i write this out, i might be able to implement at least a small portion of it in my actual life),, im actually the worst person to ask for this because more than often, a lot of things spiral out of control, on my own will with nobody to blame. im actually proud of how well i dragged myself through this semester,, even though thats something not to be proud of.

i dont know what i do when i get overwhelmed by college. if i had a schedule and if i wouldve not been as dependent on unhealthy coping mechanisms then maybe i wouldve been less overwhelmed.

so i would like to first fix that. i would firstly like to create a schedule, not the optimistic "ideal adarsh baccha" kind, but a realistic timetable that i actually relate to without having to cut down on my downtime and feeling guilty about it. i create blocks of different sectors of mylife instead of hyper-minute goals and lists. they scare me and i never end up doing everything required, even though lists and planning can give a sense of accompllishment. blame my time management skills for that.

i do procrastinate A LOT. i mean at an astronomical level, i wont even budge from my comfort zone and get things working until the deadline is very near and its very dangerous and i dont have time,, apparently the only way i have ever functioned in the past and even now is if theres a pressing influence of either time, people or impressing.

i dont also have a good study routine, but i also dont have the right motivation or attention span to dedicate time to it.

what really helps me is taking notes. taking notes multiple times and in different ways, writing it down or creating a mind-map of sorts atleast keeps your mind involved, you dont feel guilty that you havent studied at all, and youre able to overview the contents of the subject.

i keep my spirits up with music. i actually have study music playlists that i play, that actually helps me a lot. also, bold of me to say that decluttering my room and organizing my things clears my mind and makes me feel a little better when i dont even do it regularly unless urgent need to. (even though it takes up energy to do that too and i often marinate in the chaos)

i understand exactly how you feel. you're not alone. dont pull yourself down, you are trying your best and youre progressing, one day at a time. im proud of you.

[aloera]

The ask prompt is too long to fit into an ask TT_TT but here's the doc for it docs(.)google(.)com/document/d/1yDI7iFRhOJ8ENv_IwZAo3rDSUqj80EiJROS10RzRbj4/edit

the lengths u are going for this,,, much appreciated you're very sweet!!!

prompts + answers under the cut!!

INTRODUCTION

Name: aloera

AO3 account: aloera

Fandoms you write for: bnha

How many stories have you written so far: 19

FANFICTION PROFILE

What's your favorite fandom to write for? hmm,,, used to do pjo and eah (ever after high) and eah was fun as fuck i will say!!! i think bnha is my fav mostly bc i made the most friends in this fandom :D

What's your favorite character/person to write for? bkg and kirishima!! cannot choose do not make me <3

Fic you'd want to improve? probably what we deserve? i rushed the beginning and the confession is a bit stilted imo

Hardest fic you've written? between lion and men -_- bc there is so much canon compliant stuff i've gotta write out before i get to the divergence and its HARD

Easiest fic you've written? come home to me!!! it happened so easily,,, no second guessing no writers block just vibes <33 was lovely i miss it

What would you say is the most "famous" fic you've ever written? also probably come home to me? its got the most interaction

first line of the first fic you've ever written and published. [not including my 2014 ffnet fics] "The bell rings, class starts, and Katsuki and Midoriya are inexplicably absent." from come home to me

Have you ever done a collab with another writer? yes!!!!! on two separate occasions and its so fucking fun i highly recommend trying it out its the best

Do you beta? if asked but honestly im a shit beta lmao

Do you like joining fic fests/exchanges? depends on what i have going on irl but in general yeah!!

FANFICTION PREFERENCES

Fluff or angst? definitely fluff

"OCs" or "Reader" inserts? reader inserts!! have been going ham on them recently

Blurbs or drabbles? blurbs!!

One thing you love about fanfiction i just. i really love slice of life romance?? and most media doesn't give you that bc its dedicated to plot and action and that's valid!! but fanfiction fills in the gap which is really nice

One thing you don't like about fanfiction most of the stuff i don't like is less about actual fanfiction and more about how people behave about it

What is/are your favorite fandom author/authors? IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE!!! TURN IT UP!!!

bnha: hiuythn, rae_tnub, Moniix, Ata_Lanta, wrunic, chezka, PurplePersnickety, surveycorpsejean, mahadevi, arxaris, deviance, Oceanbreeze7, MikeWritesThings, bonnia, wonhaebunny, dinosuns

voltron: hiuythn, Oceanbreeze7, DeerstalkerDeathFrisbee, arahir, dinosuns,

and honorable mention to loveclouds im not even in the haikyuu fandom i just love their fics So Much

these are just the ones off the top of my head i have so many favourites idc if i'm only supposed 2 have one!! die mad about it!!!

What is your favorite trope? secret relationship + relationship reveal til the day i die babie <3 <3

Least favorite trope? hm,,, probably just like. angst lmao i cannot stand 90% of it

A fanfiction cliché that you can't help but love? coffeeshop aus,,,, so good

Do you have a type when it comes to pairings? the otp where its like. piece of shit + himbo = love. ex. krbk, catradora, jade/beck

Favorite setting/au? hm,,, truly i cannot pick one KGKSJNHKj but i really like college aus!! and modern aus!! and roommate aus!!

Explain the meaning of your favorite line of dialogue you've written as if someone hasn't read it in context. “He doesn’t know,” Katsuki says, softly. “My timer stopped and nothing happened. He’s not mine.”

the line is from what we deserve!! it's a soulmate au where your timer counts down to the moment that you meet your soulmate!! bakugou's timer ends at USJ when he and kirishima attack kurogiri at the same time (impulsive kings <33) but kirishima's timer doesn't end until kamino because that's when he accepts himself as bakugous soulmate!! unfortunately, when bakugous timer has reached 0, he turned to see that kirishima's was still ticking and therefore believes that kirishima isn't his soulmate.

this line just,, idk. it's really sad. bakugou is such an action-driven character? if something doesn't go his way he Makes it go his way. he's got this insanely volatile quirk and he's got impeccable control of it!! but his love for kirishima isn't something that he can change and he's not going to ruin kirishima's chance of finding his own soulmate because he loves him and wants him to be happy. i really wanted to focus on how resigned he is? and how unusual that is for a character like him.

Favorite trope/genre to write? again, secret relationship with relationship reveals <33 fluff in general is my wheelhouse!!!

A trope/genre you haven't written but think would be a fun challenge? idk if this counts?? have been working on some dead dove concepts!! its super different from what i normally write so its a cool challenge

The one trope/concept you'll never touch and why probably cheating/infidelity?? it just looks,,, super difficult to write well and i don't have enough of an interest in it to try it out

Which do you prefer to write: longer or shorter fics? shorter!! low attention span gang <3

Ideal length to read? 5-10k?

Ideal length to write? 4-8k!!

How long was the longest fic you've ever written? control fraek is around 28k i think?

Have you ever written an AU? yeah!! i've done restaurant au's, soulmate au's, pro hero aus, and fantasy aus (general, not the bnha fantasy ending)

What's your favorite AU trope? hm,, probably when two people in authority are in a secret relationship? ceo's/uni professors/etc etc

Have you ever written smut? yeah!! was. difficult tho

What's your comfort genre? (the one you fall on most in writing/reading) fluff,,, hurt/comfort,,, fix-it fics with happy endings <3

If you were to start writing in other fandoms, which would they be? maybe jjk?? the characters are really cool!!!! fr i might go back to my ever after high roots i love the characters and setting so Much its so fun!!! idec if no ones into it anymore!!!!!

Is there a trope you think you could be easily recognized by in your writing? i've had people say they saw the mention of buff hagakure and recognized it was me so. probably that skdjhnksjd

WRITING STYLE

How would you describe your style? i tend to use shorter sentences and pretty simple words i think? and i gravitate towards lighthearted concepts that allow for ensemble casts and humour!!

Describe your style in three words romcom but fanfic

Favorite words to use when writing? the word reverent!! fuckin love including it!!

Dialogue tags or no dialogue tags? (she said, he said, they said, etc) dialogue tags!!!

Favorite dialogue tag (other than said, if you use them) again idk if this counts but "they said softly" is unmatched

Long sentences vs short vs a mix short <33

What colors would you use to describe your writing? hm,,, depends on the fic i would say?? control fraek is dark green to me?? kinda like a forest at night yk?? scary but there's still life there. sugar cookies is yellow like early morning sunlight, when it rains is yellowy-orange like a caution sign. not gonna list all of them cause theres a lot its just. do u get it? the colours change based on the vibe of the fic.

What song or music genre would you use to describe your writing? think. i am constantly trying to emulate that moment at the end of wasteland baby when hozier goes "im in love/im in love with you."

What kind of metaphors do you rely on? religious metaphors my beloved <33 they're just so pretty!!! i also love comparing stuff to water for some reason?? like that ocean vuong quote thats like "what are you now?/water." it goes hard!!!

What's something you'd say is experimental in your writing at this time? definitely action!! i have,,, no idea how to write it so anything i do is really just me playing around and seeing what works and what doesn't

Do you prefer to write by hand or to type? i've tried both!! personally i prefer typing because it goes way faster but i will say that writing by hand lets me get words down when i'm going through writer's block

What is your preferred place to write (notebook, laptop, cellphone, etc.)? laptop!!

What app/apps do you use to write (word, notepad, etc.)? google docs skjdnkjh its fine on desktop but mobile is,,,,, disgusting

Do you keep a notebook or file/notes page in your phone/device for notes on your writing? ngl i just have everything organized in my drive?? one folder per fandom and then sub folders for ideas+hcs, unfinished wips, and finished fics. multichaps get sub sub folders so i can organize outlines and drafts

Do you listen to music to help you write? yeah!! playlists organized by fic vibe :D

Where do you usually go to write (bedroom, living room, etc.)? mostly in my bedroom??? but moving around to different stops helps too i think!!

How long does it usually take for you to write? again this depends on what i have going on irl, how attached i am to the idea, my mindset at the time, etc!! i am,, the least consistent person skjnhdkjh.

What's your favorite font to use when writing? times new roman my beloved

Other writing habits? sometimes i'll write in the dark?? bad for my eyes but for some reason it gets the words flowing

CONCEPTUALIZATION

How do you conceptualize your ideas? (See specific moments like they're a movie, writing specific lines in your head, don't know until you put the words on paper, etc.) i tend to get inspiration from movies, books, poems, or other fics!!! sometimes one line just makes me go oh,, i want to write something like that,,, and then it helps me create an idea that makes me feel the same way?? i did this with control fraek!!!! i wanted a scenario where bakugou was cold and calculating and i was like hm. to do that he’d have to be focusing on something important. and from there i was able to flesh out the rest of the idea.

Which comes first: the pairing or the plot? with krbk its always always the pairing,, i'll be sitting there like wow <33 i love them <33 what if one of them had amnesia <33 (which, yes, wip!!) otherwise it's usually the plot!! and i slot in characters that i feel make sense

Have you ever used a prompt? yeah!! used a prompt for wlw week 2020 and it was fun as hell

Do you write around the story around a specific scene you want to get to or do you start from a plot idea definitely the first!!!! i almost always write like,,, a super messy scene thats 90% dialogue, keep it in my head, and then write the entire fic around that one moment

Do you find that you include a projection of some part of yourself in the way you write a character? a lot of the time when i write love confessions or love in general i'll have one of the characters think or say that the other person makes their head quiet? and it's because that's what i feel whenever i'm in love?? a quiet mind. i project on characters yeah but i think most of the projection actually goes to the way that i write love

Do you research some of the things you write deeply, partially and kind of wing the rest, or play entirely by ear (in this case, go with whatever base knowledge of the subject you have)? most of the time if i do research it'll be about the setting (ex. the izakaya in to have and to hold) or if i'm having the characters interact with an object that they like. need to know how to use (me, in control fraek: google. hey google. does someone die if they get shot in the foot??? no???? awesome thank u <3)

Have you ever had an idea for a story and forgot about it? lmaoo yeah all the time i'll find like 500-2k words of concepts in my gdocs like i do. not remember this at all

Is there a trope you think you could be easily recognized by in your writing? probably krbk secret relationship lmao

Are there concepts you've tried that turned out better than expected? yeah!! i fully thought the action in control fraek would be awful but it turned out not bad??? which im happy with

Are there concepts you've tried that turned out worse than you expected? again, what we deserve, i personally think it would have worked out better if i'd paced it slower and drawn out the pining but i. do not feel like going back to fix it so its staying the way that it is. pining is so fucking hard to do AHHHH i get so tired with it!!! im like just date already!!!!

PROCESS

How do you come up with titles? in rare occasions (literally. all my multichaps for some reason) the title comes after writing like .5 words of the first chapter im like YES this is it!!!!! sometimes i write the whole thing and pick out one line that fits (what i did with come home to me) a lot of the time i just. steal from songs or poems that i like

What's your favorite emotion to cause on your readers? i like making people happy!!!! love when people comment saying they're cheered up

What's your favorite emotion to write? lovelovelovelovelovelove

Have you ever cried or felt any emotion while reading something you've written? never cried?? but sometimes i'll rereading my hurt/comfort fics 4. yk. comfort

Do you write in order or whatever comes to you? in order!! unless i have a scene that i Need to write and i'll quickly jot it down so that i don't forget

Usual way you procrastinate while writing? ...doing asks like this, making playlists, discord, watching netflix. what don't i do smh

Do you outline or free write? i am. so shit at outlines. i mostly free write and write lil notes for stuff that i wanna add later

Do you set word goals or scene goals (scenes you want to include)? yes!! like i said i'll write loose notes for scenes that i want to add later!! it gives me something to write towards :D

What do you consider when writing your scenes? what goes into making the atmosphere and mood you want? to set a scene i do two things? the first is like,, the five senses bc that always sets the scene really well and makes it feel Real. i'll visualize stuff in my head like its a movie and write out what i would want to tell the set designer?? if the lights are low, if the space is busy, if it's supposed to exude comfort or not.

for putting forward the character's mood one thing i've found that makes a difference is sentence length!! long sentences are good for making a character seem flustered and nervous or not really in control of their emotions? good for love confessions. short sentences are good for when the character is focused on something or short on time. good for fights!!

What's something you never considered to include in your writing that you can't leave out now? def buff hagakure,,,, once i thought of it i was like. if i don't include this at least once in every single fic how could i look at myself in the mirror!!!!!! how could i face anyone!!!!

How do you start a story? establishing a fact about the character or describing the setting! option a is one single thread of gold, option b is between lion and men

How do you end a story? either by tying it back to the beginning or doing like a funny kind of closing??? option a is sugar cookies, option b is a godless society

How do you get out of writer's block? change something!! move something!! i go from typing to handwriting, moving from my bedroom to my living room, switching wips to work on something else!! i do sprints as well?? give myself like fifteen minutes to write something and sometimes 200 words opens up the way for another 2k. sometimes i'll just delete like 500 words and start fresh

Do you edit? or do you toss your writing out there? i edit!!! i'll go over it myself then send it to one or two betas (bee my beloved <33)

How do you edit? do you use spellcheck, grammar checkers, etc? bee is my grammar checker bc he is So Good with grammar. i use grammarly as well for spellcheck stuff mostly?? sometimes my edit process is just like "am i tired of looking at this!! yes <3" and then i post it

PROGRESS

Do you usually like what you write? yeah!!! i post stuff that makes me happy and that i'm fine with rereading!!! i write stuff for self-indulgence reasons first and foremost and i think my writing reflects that sjhnksj

Have you ever written something you didn't like but posted anyways? nope!! even what we deserve i LIKED even if i see a lot of room 4 improvement!! if i don't like smth it's not getting posted

Do you find yourself rereading your writing often? yeah!! the reason i wrote so much krbk secret relationship is because i loved it but i'd read all that there was so i just,, wrote more,, ngl its kinda nice being in a place where i actually like my writing bc i can write stuff that i want to see and really enjoy it!!

Can you tell us anything about your current WIP? sure!! i'm currently working on when it rains which is a fic where bakugou gets hit by a crying quirk!! i'm gonna be using it to explore So Much of all might's character and his relationships with bakugou and aizawa (and i think some people from his past!!)

Can you give us a sneak peek on your current WIP? “You did something. What the hell did you do?” Kirishima sounds pissed off. It would amuse Katsuki if he wasn’t fighting just to stay standing.

“Nothing he didn’t ask for,” Shinsou replies.

“K’ri… shima,” Katsuki croaks out. “‘S fine. Not him.”

His chest collapses back into the familiar dry heaving after that but Kirishima shuts up. He doesn’t apologize to Shinsou.

Kirishima’s a good friend, stubborn and loyal. He stands by Katsuki’s side like an attack dog, blocking him from the view of anyone ogling at his tears.

The last line you've written Ochako knows more than she'd realized. She knows enough to keep her guard up.

It’s not enough.

Open a wip. what’s the first line?

Katsuki wakes up feeling like absolute fucking shit.

INSIGHT

What's your favorite thing about writing? touched on this before but it's mainly just being able to write the things that i want to see and actually enjoy them!!! actually reread them!!!! i thought "wouldn't it be cool if bkg and kirishima owned a restaurant together" and then i wrote it and i like it enough to reread it!!!! being able to create content for myself makes me. so happy

How do you keep yourself inspired? this is gonna sound narcissistic maybe but honestly i'm just really excited about my ideas and where i'm gonna take them and the idea of "i'm gonna get to That scene" keeps me going through the entire thing. also my friends!!!! i'll talk to them about fics and their reactions keep me hyped up enough to finish!!!!

What is your favorite thing to write? just,, slice of life romance,,, stuff thats silly and makes people laugh!!

What do you think your strengths are in writing? i'm good with dialogue!! i do lil voice acting sessions with myself to make sure everything sounds natural and like it's coming from that character skhjnskj

i'm comfortable with my portrayal of love as well??? i spend a lot of time thinking about what it is exactly that i'm trying to get across and i think it turns out well!!

What are things you wish you could practice more? on one hand i wanna get better at writing angst on the other hand i dislike writing angst. do you see my issue

One way you've improved your writing since you began? characterization!! i think i've gotten better at writing characters that are all Different and bring different things to the table!!! i used to project a lot more and it would compromise the characterization because the character was like 70% me and 30% them? not to say that projection is bad but if you do it too much it just,, doesn't read like the character and from a reader's standpoint the narrative can become less compelling

One aspect of writing you're still working on? writing action!!! i. literally hate writing it but i write for a fandom about superheroes so. Unfortunately i gotta learn.

A piece of writing advice you've learned while writing saw this on another tumblr post but they said sometimes if you're struggling with a scene, the problem is five lines back. i've found that to be true!!!! sometimes u gotta delete a chunk and start a little ways back!! i did this with too busy being yours because i was stuck for Weeks and i deleted like 25% of what i had but it helped me actually finish it :D

A bit of writing advice you can't stand when people shit on show don't tell for being overrated lmao bc when u read their writing you can Tell

Something you wish you knew when you first started writing? ,,,,honestly i kind of wish i could know some of the stuff that i used to when i first started writing?? technically i'm better now but creatively i was must better when i wasn't stressing about whether anyone would like what i was writing. so i guess i wish i knew that i should keep that confidence? i kinda wish that i wasn't as insecure about other people's writing styles because i never used to be!!

Something you've learned in life that you apply in writing there's no point in feeling inferior?? writing one genre isn't better than the other. being in one fandom isn't better than being in another. the kind of language you use or the length of your paragraphs- none of that stuff like. matters. what matters is that you're having fun and happy with what you're creating!!!! enjoy other peoples writing but don't let it make you feel worse about yours :D

[apoguecalledjj]

Fixation ( Chapter 9)

Sorry for my absence! I just started my first year of uni. But anyways, here it is, the last chapter of Fixation! (Theres an epilogue coming!) Definitely shorter than I originally planned, but I’m proud of it and I’m just happy to get it published. Hope you loved this series as much as I loved writing it!

Series summary: Eleanor is new to the outer banks, and the pogues are quick to take her in. But so are the kooks, and as she grows closer with Rafe, trouble emerges. Trying to balance her relationship with the pogues and the kooks, as well as dealing with her own personal problems, Eleanor falls into a hole she may not be able to dig herself out of.

Chapter Word Count: 2111

Chapter Warnings: None

Previous Parts: Ch. 1 Series masterlist

Taglist: @prejudic3 @maragritatimebaybee @drewxxrudy @outerbankslove @bricksatanakinswindow @alexa-playafricabytoto @gigi-june

JJ hardly left Ellie’s side. For the entirety of the two weeks, she was in the hospital, he was there, sat by her bed. He left to shower and sleep, and that was only because the nurses told him he had to. Of course, Ellie’s family and the pogues visited quite often as well, and Topper and Kelce. But the dedication JJ showed to Ellie melted her heart, and every day, thoughts of Rafe drifted away and were replaced with more and more of the beautiful blond-haired boy next to her. He stayed even when withdrawal and recovery got bad, held her hand through every needle and test she had done, and told her stories from his life when she got bored. John B and Pope teased him, wondering what had happened to the JJ they knew, but it was obvious to everyone what had happened: He had fallen in love. Now, just a few days after Ellie’s discharge from the hospital, the pair sat in her bed, the door opened just a crack from the rules her uncle laid, her head resting gently on his chest as he scrolled through her Netflix looking for a movie. Travis had grown to like JJ, something that shocked everyone. Even if Travis didn’t already have a bias against pogues, JJ had a reputation that everyone on the island knew about, and adults didn’t usually take kindly to him. But Travis couldn’t help but notice the way JJ changed around his niece, how he was much more gentle and quiet, and Travis respected that. “JJ, just turn on friends or something. I think I wanna have a nap,” Ellie muttered, snuggling in further onto JJ’s chest. The two weren’t official yet, Ellie still wanted to take things slow and they hadn’t gone any further than kissing, but everyone still considered her JJ’s girl. “El, you slept for 12 hours last night, and 13 the night before! How do you sleep so much?” “I got up to pee a couple of times,” Ellie muttered in defense, and JJ chuckled. “And it’s not my fault you’re so comfy. You make it so easy to fall asleep.” JJ didn’t respond, instead, he just switched-on friends and rested his head lightly against Ellie’s. He reached down, grabbing her hand in his, and she slowly rubbed her fingers over his calloused palms. He too found himself growing tired, the tiny action relaxing him as he focused on the feeling of her small hands against his. Ellie was barely drifting off when her phone rang, waking her. She groaned, barely opening her eyes to glance up at JJ. “Can you grab that?” JJ leaned over, reaching across her body to pick up her phone which was sitting on the nightstand. “Uh, Ellie,” He exclaimed as he turned it over, looking at the caller ID. “It’s your mom.” Ellie shot up, all traces of tiredness lost from her body. She had been here for a couple of months already, and her mother hadn’t reached out to her once. So why now? JJ stayed quiet as she answered the phone, not really knowing what to do. He had heard lots about Ellie’s mom, but he wasn’t sure if her calling was a good or bad thing. “What do you want?” Ellie snapped into the phone. It was definitely a bad thing. Ellie couldn’t help but roll her eyes as her mother’s voice echoed through the phone, slurred, just like always. “Eleanor. Travis told me what happened and I just wanted to check on my baby girl.” “Please don’t call me your baby girl.” The words stung Ellie. She understood addiction, especially after having gone through it, but that didn’t make the neglect from her mom hurt any less. “I love you, Eleanor. I’m sober now. I’m trying to get better, just for you. I’ve been going to meetings and-” Ellie cut her mom off. “You’re slurring. God only knows what you’re high on right now.” JJ shifted over, moving closer to Ellie so he could wrap his arms around her gently. Her eyes were filled with tears, threatening to overflow. Hearing from her mom unexpectedly shook her to her core, and a knot had worked its way into her stomach and showed no sign of leaving. “Don’t reach out to me until you’re sober, mom.” Ellie hung up the phone, not bothering to listen to anything else the woman had to say. She was tired, her whole life she had been dealing with her mother's addiction all while learning to take care of herself and her sister, and it seemed to be following her no matter where she went. “You okay?” JJ asked quietly, brushing away a stray tear that had leaked from her eye. He tugged on her body lightly, laying her down on the bed next to him and pulling her closer to his chest. The question seemed to ake things worst though, and JJ internally swore as Ellie began to shake and sob. He knew what it was like to have a shitty parent, but seeing someone else go through the pain was so heartbreaking, especially when it was someone he loved so much. He wanted more than anything to take all the pain away from her, but that was something he couldn’t do, so instead, he held her close and prayed that one day she could be fully happy. --- It was Ellie’s first time back at the chateau since she had been discharged from the hospital. Even though it had already been a couple of weeks, the pogues had all been quite busy and there wasn’t a great time for them all to get together. Today though, everyone was free, so they planned a little celebration for Ellie. Even with just the six of them, a few balloons and a small store-bought cake, the ‘party’ still bought a huge smile to Ellie’s face that stuck around even after the cake had been devoured and the balloons had been popped (The first was an accident by John B, the rest by JJ after he saw how much the loud pop scared everyone else). It was beginning to get dark out, and they had made their way from John B’s tiny, and now messy, kitchen out to the small firepit he had outside. It took a while to light the fire, but once it was ablaze the laughter and chats continued. Ellie couldn’t help but notice that for the entire day, not a drop of alcohol was involved. Even though alcohol wasn’t involved in her recent addiction and overdose, the pogues were still cautious with her recovery and she appreciated that. As the air began to get chilly, Ellie leaned into JJ’s side, and he wrapped his arm around her waist to pull her even closer. Sarah smirked, there had been no talks of a relationship between the two since Ellie had been released from the hospital but everyone could tell something was going on. Sarah opened her mouth, ready to question the pair cuddled up together, but footsteps approaching from the driveway interrupted her. John B and Kiara heard it too, their faces contorted in confusion as they weren’t expecting anyone else to show up. “What the fuck are you doing here?” John B noticed who it was first, and he stood up hastily, clearly trying to block Ellie’s view of who it was. But as soon as John B spoke, Ellie pulled away from the warmth of the boy beside her, standing up so she could see over John B’s shoulder. She moved forward quickly, ready to jump in to help the pogues with their unwanted guest, but quickly froze as she made eye contact with Rafe Cameron. JJ was beside her in an instant, his hand lightly resting on her lower back. She could hear him breathing heavily, could feel the anger radiating from him. “You got a lot of nerve showing up here,” He sneered, ready to jump into a fight. “I just want to see Ellie,” Rafe said defensively, his hands raised in the air. “I have no interest in seeing you.” Ellie found her voice, the words coming out way harsher than intended, not that she minded. “Ellie, I-” Rafe started to speak, moving to get closer to her, but he was blocked as John B quickly stepped to the side. “Could you shut the fuck up?” It was clear how angry Ellie was, all the fear and uneasiness she had displaced just minutes ago nowhere to be seen. She pulled away from JJ and brushed past John B so that she was stood directly in front of her ex. “Ellie, wha-” JJ questioned her but was cut off by a wave of her hand, and all the pogues were quiet. None of them doubted Ellie, she could handle this herself and they all knew it. “Why are you being so fucking rude?” The softness that had coated Rafe’s face when he first arrived was gone, replaced with fury and hatred. Ellie rolled her eyes. “You almost killed me, Rafe. You left me to die from an overdose on a drug that I never even would have taken if it wasn’t for you. Not to mention, the entirety of our relationship, you were a complete ass. So yes, I’m being rude. I have no idea why you would even think it would be okay to come here to see me.” “Whatever. You’re a massive fucking bitch anyways,” Rafe muttered. At this, JJ’s hand balled into a fist, enraged that the kook had the audacity to talk about Ellie that way. He wanted to rush forward, to pound his fist into his face. But he didn’t need to, because as Rafe turned to leave, Ellie reached out and grabbed his hand, turning him back towards her. Hope flashed in his eyes, Rafe’s immediate thought being that she changed her mind and was going to ask him not to leave. That thought was short-lived though because Ellie proceeded to smack him across the face. John B gasped, shocked at the sudden physical outburst from Ellie he hadn’t seen before. Sarah snorted, glad to see her brother finally getting what he deserved. Pope blinked slowly, trying to figure out what had happened to the sweet Ellie he had got to know, not that he blamed her for hitting Rafe. JJ stared in awe, amazed at the girl he loved standing up for herself. Rafe opened his mouth to speak, his eyes narrow as he glared at Ellie. “Don’t,” She said, shaking her head. “I think it’s time for you to leave.” Luckily, Rafe turned to leave, no longer interested in putting up a fight. Ellie stuck up her middle finger to him as he left, and even though his back was to her and he couldn’t see it, the gesture still made her feel good. “Woah, Ellie!” John B shouted once Rafe’s truck had sped off. “Didn’t know you had it in you!” “That’s my girl!” JJ whooped, rushing forward and wrapping his arms around her. He lifted her in the air, spinning her around with excitement, but quickly noticed how stiff she was, her arms didn’t reciprocate the hug, her smile didn’t match his, instead, she nibbled at her lip nervously, her eyes wide. JJ quickly backtracked and realized the mistake he made. “Oh, shit, El,” He muttered, putting her down and stepping back to look at her better. “I’m sorry, that just slipped out.” Ellie blinked a couple of times, gathering her thoughts together before slowly smiling. “No, I- I liked the sound of it. I think I’d like to be your girl.” JJ could hear his friends cheering around them, but at that moment, all he could focus on was her. The words took him by surprise, she had been so set on taking things slow, he didn’t expect it. Ellie could tell he was flustered, the slight pink tinge to his cheeks giving him away. She stepped forward with a smirk, grabbing his hand to pull him closer as well. They were basically touching, she glanced up at him innocently and JJ swore he fell in love even more. “You gonna kiss your girl?” Ellie whispered. JJ bent his head down slightly so his lips could meet hers, and even though they had kissed before, this felt different. She was finally his. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her even closer, both of them forgetting about everyone around them. JJ was absolutely and utterly in love with her, and he didn’t know it, but she was in love with him too.

[barrendome]

the 2b2t survival guide

are you planning to play on 2b2t? have you been playing but can’t seem to get out of spawn? or have you been waiting 12 hours in queue to no avail?

in that case, have i got some stuff for you! heres a handy guide about how to actually play, and some tips to help along the way!

step one: preparing

you can just hop right in and go, but it is smart to know a bit beforehand.

know what you're getting into. the server has no rules to it, so you just have to expect a fuckton of disgusting shit, slurs, etc. just kinda accept that, and ignore it.

get a hacked client. sure, you can play on vanilla, but doing that will make your life harder. the best client to use is impact, but if you really need to you can download wurst instead.

make a plan. although this is optional, its smart to do. you can just wing it if you wanna, but it’s helpful to have a goal for what you wanna do in the server.

step two: queue

queue is basically inevitable, but there are a few things you can do to make the wait less painful!

decide if you want priority. priority queue is a godsend, it takes 30 min at MOST to join the server! but on the other hand, its 20 dollars per month. if you’re planning on playing for a long time and dedicating lots of time to playing? get priority. if you just wanna check the server out? don’t worry about buying it.

join when nobody else would. the best times i’ve found are near 1-3am, or on a weekday in early mornings. you’ll still have to wait hours, but not as long as you would otherwise.

pray for a server restart. when it restarts, turn on auto-reconnect (if you have that) or just keep on trying to connect. you’ll get onto the server extremely quick if you’re able to join right after a restart.

do something else. multitasking is the best way to wait. leave queue running in the background and check on it whenever you can, but fill your time with other stuff. i usually draw or watch videos when waiting!

step three: common sense

you gotta use normal common sense, but also server-unique common sense.

remember: there are no rules. people are going to kill you. people are going to grief you. people are going to say gross shit. the worst kinds of people are here on the server, you have to accept that.

what you build is gonna go. no matter how nice it looks, how far out it is, how tiny it is, whatever. its how 2b2t works. when you build, you have to remember that its going to get destroyed one day.

you aren’t safe. no matter how far away you are, or how nice that one person is. don’t get lulled into feeling secure, stay on edge. better safe than sorry.

enderchests are your friend. you’re definitely gonna die, several times, so keep any important things in your enderchest. for more space, put everything into shulker boxes and store the boxes in your enderchest. this is why silk touch pickaxes are something you’ll need: because your enderchest is the only safe place for your items.

signs are the best communication. carry a sign with you, and read all the signs you find. its not important, but its fun to read what people write, and its nice to make your own mark on the world with just a simple sign.

don’t trust anyone. or at least, be cautious of everyone. if you run into someone, expect deaths, and be cautious even if they give you stuff.

you aren’t special. oh, so you watched a bunch of fit videos and know everything about the server? no you don’t, shut up. you’re gonna spam things in chat and grief a bunch of builds to become a notable player? you’re gonna become a minor annoyance, shut up. you read this guide and now know how to become the best 2b2t player ever? my guide is shit, shut up.

everyone hates new players. don’t openly say you’re new. just stick to yourself for the first while of joining.

step four: chat

so you’ve joined, and you connect to see.. the constant spam of chat.

hide the chat. go into settings, and turn chat off. usually chat isn’t worth looking at, except for warning about server restarts. if you wanna keep chat on, just turn down the opacity.

use /ignore. theres bots constantly flooding the chat, so if you wanna keep chat on, spend time quickly ignoring all the bots.

don’t ask for help. you do not wanna let everybody know you’re new, and if you don’t get ignored, people will send gross shit or fake help instead.

if you have a question, ask google. like the point above, asking for help isn’t a good option. search stuff up on google or the 2b2t subreddit before asking chat. and try not to ask obvious questions either.

don’t get into arguments. don’t rile people up or argue, its kinda risky, and again some bad shit will get sent your way. its really not worth it. if you get angry at some gross shit people are saying, just /ignore them, because fighting them will make you just a laughing stock.

step five: escaping spawn

i know what you’re thinking, “tumblr user barrendome! stop rambling and just tell me how to actually PLAY now!”, and yeah yeah, okay, i will.

turn your hacks on. what i’d suggest is turning on storage esp, player esp/tracers, search (search for blocks like melons, crops, wood, etc), and things like that. also keep xray and freecam ready, and make sure you set keybinds for those.

collect, store, die, repeat. i never did this, but my boyfriend did, and it worked incredibly well. he would collect as many resources as he could, store them in an enderchest whenever he saw one, and then either die of hunger or something else. he’d repeat this process until he had enough stuff in his enderchest to get him out of spawn.

save your hunger bar. try not to run, and try not to jump. its hard, but its important. most deaths are from hunger in the first while of playing, so just try not to get hungry. for this exact reason, the main thing you’re looking for is food.

don’t go into the nether right away. spawn nether is impossible to get out of, so travel on the overworld for about 2000 blocks, and then its safe(ish) to go into the nether.

20000 blocks is the safer zone, but its still spawn territory. outside of 50000 blocks is when id consider making a base if you really need to, but try to go much farther if you can. 

step six: just outside of spawn

so you’re out of the major spawn area... now what?

find food, farm food. get as much food as you can, thats the most important thing to do at this moment. make sure you have as much food as you could need, and store some in your enderchest.

make a temporary base. you can make a small house, a hole, or even just a dirt hut. just make sure you have a place to store all your extra stuff, and a place to stay for now. (sidenote, don’t put a nether portal right beside your house.)

find a bed. later on, beds aren’t a big deal, but at first they definitely are. try to find or make a bed, and set your spawn somewhere. i’d suggest hiding the bed somewhere near your temporary base, but don’t make it visible.

get geared up. use your xray and get some diamonds, look through dungeons for enchanted books, make yourself tools, etc. its best to get what you need now that you’re out of spawn.

go fishing. you can get food, enchanted books, xp, etc. going fishing is actually super useful. the autofish hack is your friend right now. but don’t go afk when fishing, you can get kicked for it.

remember the nether highway myth. if you have almost nothing, and are travelling on the nether highways, there’s a good chance a high-level player could stumble upon you, take pity, and give you stuff. remember not to trust anyone right away, they could still end up killing you. but there is still a chance that being on the highways could get you everything youd ever need. again, though, make sure to put everything in your enderchest!

step seven: planning and playing.

im ready! ..what do i do now?

make a goal if you haven’t already. if you wanna be a nomad? plan where you’re gonna wander. if you’re gonna make a huge base? plan where to build it and go out there. if you’re gonna go visit monuments? figure out which ones and their coordinates, and start walking. gonna join a group? figure out which one would be safe and fun to join, and try to get in.

get as far from spawn as possible. unless you wanna stay near spawn, try and get 100,000 blocks away or further. and if you really wanna keep a base intact, don’t stay near any of the major highways.

have fun! as rough this server can be to play on, theres a lot of cool stuff you can find, and its important to find joy in the chaos.

and that’s all for now!

i may have forgotten things, so feel free to send me anything i missed! but i hope that everything i was able to write down will be enough to help anybody that wants to join 2b2t.org, the oldest anarchy server on minecraft!

[tfw-no-tennis]

hxh....MUSICAL

as soon as i saw that a hunter x hunter musical from the year 2002 starring the OG 99 VAs existed, i knew i has to see this...so i set out and watched the nightmare of zoldyck (i would later find out that theres ANOTHER musical, which i plan to watch too)

luckily its all on youtube subbed! in 360 quality...oh hell yes lmao

ok i logically knew this was gonna be a musical but seeing the characters singing is like. a lot. THIS IS SO STRANGE 

musical illumi is played by a woman which is interesting. shes got a good voice 

i think they just panned to killua but it was so pixelated that i legitimately could not tell hvbadjkfbjkdsf

i have no idea whats going on vhbajdfhhajsdf theres a bunch of people falling over on stage...i think theyre dying? who are yall 

oh shit backup dancers?

lmao illumi killed the backup dancers rip.

oh that IS killua lol. s/o to the 3 pixels that are visible 

is this gonna be the zoldyck arc but a musical? lmao

OH WAIT IS THAT KURAPIKA AND LEORIO? i cant even tell lmaoooo

i can 100% tell these are fan subs lmaooo i love bad fan subs SO MUCH it makes a viewing experience even better

this is p much just a musical version of the manga/anime so far lmao i love it 

the way theyre spelling zoldyck is. a lot 

is every character gonna get an intro song. how much of this musical is singing and how much of it is dialogue cause theres defs a range w/musicals 

lmao i love gon leorio and kurapikas interactions even here, they rlly feel like two parents being dragged around by their energetic kid 

i cant even see the set at all so im just gonna assume theres like, the gate and all that behind them, but it all just looks like a dark wall to me lmao

i love singing exposition 

HISOKAS IN THIS???????????????????? oh my lorddddd 

OH i see now in the description that hes played by the 99 VA too lmao i love it 

wow musical hisoka rlly b like [writes himself into the zoldyck family arc]

oh here we go w/the song introducing the zoldycks 

damn grandpa got mad flips 

this is. wild 

its especially wild that alluka isnt here bc she like...didnt even exist yet at this point in the story 

zoldyck family sitcom wow 

i see the gon/killua romance is still going strong in the musical 

oh so they did all the training and goin thru the door stuff offscreen lol

this is actually doing a pretty good job expanding on the canon stuff from this arc lol so props. espec w/showing more of killua being scared of illumi 

oooh this is interesting actually, this is like....an AU where illumi is present during this arc, and how that would change things. And Also They Sing 

the zoldycks are so fucked up lmao 

also i feel like theres some ‘early adaptation’ character weirdness going on, like w/the grandpa, who seems much less intense here than in the anime (at least after seeing him in the yorknew arc), and milluki, who seems like a gag character here lmao

oh my god lmao is hisoka here to visit illumi?

the hilarious irony of illumi telling killua that assassins cant have friends, then going to hang out with his good buddy hisoka

kurapika is the only one here with a brain cell (for now) 

ah yes hisoka and illumi doing their nasty murder flirting thing 

HISOKA IS SO NASTYYYY I HATE HIM tho his actor is very good and smarmy

OH its canary!! is there uh. blackface goin on there. i cant actually tell, what with there being only 3 pixels present at any given time

really love how half of this is just the regular arc but with the characters singing abt stuff during it 

the lady playing killuas mom has a rlly good screeching voice jesus lmao 

ohh i love musical fighting so much

the sound fx on kurapikas sticks are cracking me up

butlers got mad cartwheels

oh theyre doing the coin thing! this is so out of order lmao

oh my god i love that theyre doing like, sick dance moves while coin flipping

ah the zoldyck messenger hawk makes an appearance. i love that thats canon and real

the 12 yr old gay romance is REAL even here 

the subs seems to be translated very literally, especially in the songs, so its honestly not clear what theyre even singing about vbsjkdjhfskjfd

gon and killua singing about each other is adorable tbh. also i love how silva asks killua abt his friends and killua is like yeah i made some friends. and then only talks abt gon ahjsduhfabhskdf gayboy 

ok so the zoldyck arc is like, ending, but theres still an hr of musical left so whats even gonna happen lmao. also where did hisoka go

oh no the audio and video arent synced anymore huvbhjadfbhjsakdf

oooh they asked canary to come w/them, thats cool

theyre having a party??? hvbajdsfbhasjkdf

oh shit??? what did zeburo just do to killua??? WHATS GOING ONNN lol this is UNCHARTED TERRITORY 

OH GOD IT WAS ILLUMI. SHOULDVE KNOWNNN

omggg all their formal outfits....everyone cheering wildly at kurapika is cute 

LEORIO AND KURAPIKA DANCING.....

the fact that both killua and gon are taller than kurapika in this is rlly funny 

the idea that the zoldycks are also highly trained ballroom dancers is super hilarious to think about, even moreso when you consider how isolationist they are 

seriously grandpas got mad flips

also i love leorios outfit 

this feels like a filler arc tbh. and i dont mean that in a bad way!

leorio trying to get kurapika to go to the hot springs with him lmaoooo

HVDSJBJFSBFJHS HISOKAS BACK. IN DISGUISE. OH MY GOD 

hisokas stage presence is fantastic gotta say 

damnnnn dad zoldycks got mad flips too. guess it runs in the family 

props to the actors for managing to keep their wigs on while flipping around like that 

its so fuckgin funny thats hisoka just introduces himself as illumis friend, when this whole arc is all about how assassins Cannot Have Friends 

so hisoka is just here trying to get family approval too huh

gon miming a fishing trip was adorable and realistic...sometimes u get skunked and It Just Be Like That

leorio is rlly tryin to shoot his shot w/kurapika and kp is just Not Realizing huh vbjsdufjbsaukjf

wow leorio breakin the fourth wall like that lmao 

wow so illumi hacked killua. rude 

hisoka and illumi are lowkey hilarious in this 

leorio is rlly sending every signal possible to kurapika and kp is like. No 

leorio: killua is a scary murder baby, but also im adopting him 

kurapika singing abt how weird it is having friends after dedicating their life to Revenge(tm) is v on brand 

HISOKA OH BOY 

LMAOOOO HISOKA IS SUCH A FUCKING SNITCH I CANT 

no wonder illumi didnt wanna tell him abt his evil plan lmaoooo he fucked up even telling hisoka that much clearly 

the zoldyck siblings just staring at hisoka in confusion bc How The Fuck Did This Clown Get In Our House hvbhjdksfnjksdf

you can tell the subs are off when the audience is cracking up but you dont even see a joke there lmao

oh my goddd hisoka using bungee gum to make everyone dance is. hilarious 

oh my god synchronized dancing 

HVBSHDJFBJDSKFHBSJ illumi doing a dance routine independent of hisoka and hisoka being like ????? vhbjsdkhfjkjsdnfkj THIS IS HILARIOUS

supremely funny to me how illumi makes such a big point abt assassins not having friends, yet hisoka is announcing himself as illumis friend w/every given opportunity hvbhajdkdfhjskf

this feels so filler arc i love it. thats so charming to me since the 2011 anime doesnt have any filler (from what i can tell?) 

kurapika and leorio rlly feel like killuas parents here lmaooo

this is all dramatic but kurapika keeps repeating what leorio says and its cracking me up hvbajhkdhfbjsk

i lov this fambly 

ah, even in the musical illumi is still such a manipulative bastard 

i feel like the quality just went down EVEN MORE, which i didnt think was even possible hvbhjkdsfskf. at least the audio is synced w/the video again

illumis got a good evil laugh 

this is the exact brand of dramatic angsty filler content that i was hoping for in this lmao i love it 

oooh more zoldycks 

honestly this is more how i expected the zoldyck arc to go in canon hbshjdkujfkjsfdas

dramatic gay filler angst + somewhat incorrect fansubs = perfection

OH SHIT CANARY 

BRO DID SHE JUST DIE???? OMFG

the subs keep calling illumis power ‘spells’ which seems to imply that illumi is some sort of assassin wizard rather than a nen user hvbsudhfkjsdjgf

come to think of it, what point was the manga at when this musical was written? it has to be pretty early on, maybe just as nen was being introduced

gon boutta go ham on illumi...Get His Ass

OHHHH GON DOING THE ICONIC ARM GRAB....ARM GRAB REPRISE

gon doin the good ole reliable shounen ‘punch your friend and yell at them so they snap out of a funk’ lol

i do love how typically shounen this is. friendship speeches! but delivered by SONG!

illumis main hobby is butting in at the worst possible moments 

HISOKAS BACK OH BOY

hisokas playing card blocked killuas hit hvbhjakdhsfjnakdsf thats like in jojo when those manga blocked dios knives 

wow the whole zoldyck squad is here

ooh forbidden zoldyck lore lmao

killua: mom u guys are lame im joining this much cooler family now. bye 

i love how hisoka is just weirdly lurking around for all this zoldyck drama lmao

silva seems like such a bro in this but i feel like hes rlly not like that in canon vhauidfhbsjhdkjfk

oh nope there he goes w/the evil laugh lmaooooo

sorry dude but leorio is his dad now 

gon sniffing zeburo hgbajkdfshbjkdfjnsjdk oh my god

oh hell yeah some synchronized main character finale dancing 

actor showcase! everyone loves kurapika which, same 

ah so the director of this musical also directed the sailor moon musicals, which i didnt know existed but of course that exists...thats funny considering the hxh mangaka is married to the sailor moon mangaka 

anyways that was fun honestly!!!! i fuckgin love musicals, and musical adaptations of non-musical source materials can be like, SO different tonally, but this honestly felt like a fun filler 

it was really interesting seeing something based on the canon from this early on - as i said above, some of the characterizations (like the zoldycks) seems a bit different than we’re used to, but others were spot on - like hisoka only showing up intermittently to sow chaos and do nothing else vhjkadhbfhkjdsfnj im assuming the yorknew arc hadnt happened at this point, but hisokas actions in this musical were hilariously similar to how he acted in the yorknew arc, so, props. 

plus it was cool to see the ‘what if’ factor w/hisoka and illumi also being there, espec illumi interacting w/killua bc its so wildly different from how killua reacts to any of his other family members - hes clearly scared of illumi, in a way he isnt w/anyone else, and that was done well here w/the scene where illumi threatens killua’s friends to get killua to listen to him

also the angst was honestly great, and there was some REALLY sweet wholesome parts that i loved. and the music wasnt half bad either!!

i think the VAs did a great job playing the characters - hisokas VA was especially great (and i really loved kurapika too). gons hair was not very similar to how it looks in the show so it was a little more obvious that he was being played by a grown woman, but still a great performance. 

anyways fun times, i love musicals and this was a fun ole 2000s filler shounen musical adaptation

[cottoncandyshawn]

Babydoll Dancer (Part 2)

Synopsis: Shawn hasn’t heard anything from y/n since the night he saw her on stage. Becoming fed up of waiting, he takes matters into his own hands.

Warnings: Mentions of smut in the start, but thats about it I think!

Word Count: 2k

Like and reblog if you enjoyed this xx

He had tried to busy himself with paperwork. Tried to occupy his mind with thoughts of anything other than her, but it always found its way back, causing his heart to skip a beat and his chest to flush. He couldn't help but remember the way her hips had swayed to the music playing over the speakers, or the way the light coating of sweat on her chest shone under the bright lights. The way her eyes held contact with his, like she was trying to figure him out.

It had been almost two weeks since he gave her his name and number, bolting out of the hidden burlesque lounge soon after so that he could tend to his throbbing length, which had been trapped in the confines of his tight pants.

He found himself checking his phone more often than he would on a regular business day, disappointment settling deep within his chest when he found no texts and no missed calls. He wondered if the unspoken chemistry they shared that night was just all a part of her act, and that he'd read too far into it in the moment; too caught up in the lust and butterflies of it all to notice.

It wasn’t often that he got restless when he was alone in his penthouse, but restless was an understatement of what he was feeling this evening. Had this been any night prior to watching Babydoll dance, he would have busied himself with office work, signing papers, finalising deals; anything to keep himself occupied until he was ready to retire for the night. 

Some nights he would settle himself in bed even earlier than usual. His underwear neglected somewhere on the floor as he tugged at his leaking cock desperately, his head alternating between tipping back and exposing his throat as he gasped and moaned, and watching the naked woman on his laptop screen take whatever her man was giving her. The act leaving him satisfied as he would wonder into the ensuite bathroom to clean up the mess of a painting he had created across his chiseled abdomen and flushed chest.

Tonight was different though, he couldn’t concentrate on anything, with the memory of how her lips had wrapped around her index finger clouding his mind. The image of how she had sucked away the champagne, holding eye contact with him until it all became too much and he had to look away had embedded itself in his brain. It replayed vividly every time he closed his eyes, keeping him awake and as restless as the flickering Toronto city lights.

Sighing heavily, Shawn pushes away from his kitchen counter, his fingers combing his messy curls away from his face. He wasn’t angry or frustrated, he was simply confused. Everything her body language was telling him that night in the dimly lit room was saying that she was as interested as he was. He’d left the ball in her court. Grabbing a water bottle from the refrigerator, he leaned against his cold, marble bench tops and sipped from the glass vessel. He wondered if the reason she hadn’t called was his own fault. Had he given her the wrong number? Did she not see the note?

Placing the bottle down on the counter, he pulled his phone out to check the day.

Saturday, 10:05 PM

Remembering that she said she danced every Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday, serving every other day; a knowing smile crept up onto his features. Pushing off the bench he made a beeline for his room to change into his black jeans and a maroon button down shirt, his excitement building as he grabbed his car keys and headed to the out towards his Jeep.

The club was exactly how he remembered it as he payed his entry fee and pulled back the thick, ruby red curtain. The strong scent of sweat and cheap cologne hitting him all at once as his eyes adjusted to the dim lights. Searching the room, there was no sight of her, only other waitresses and older men with their hands covering their crotches and their eyes glued to the dancers on stage. Making his way over to the bar, he had to pause for a moment as he spotted her. There she was, looking so cute as she moved around behind the bar, a concentrated expression falling over her features as she appeared to be mixing a drink. It was busier tonight, the atmosphere in the small burlesque lounge buzzing with adrenaline and lust. She looked stressed and it made him worry that now may not have been the best time to interrupt.

Pushing his thoughts and hesitation aside, he made his way to the bar, standing in front of her, taking note of how her lips pouted ever so slightly as she dedicated her focus to the task at hand. She must have felt eyes on her as she smiled and looked up, her expression dropping as they locked eyes. She remembered him, how could she not?

He realised that he was staring, a blush finding its way to his cheeks and his hands becoming clammy as he battled with the excitement bubbling over in the pit of his stomach… what the hell was happening to him?

“Hi,” he spoke first, his teeth showing in a relieved smile behind his pink lips.

“Uh, hi! Nate, our bartender will be with you in a moment-“

“I’m actually not here for the show. Do you- do you have time to talk?” He played with the ring on his finger, a nervous habit he had picked up over the years as things started getting serious at work.

“I’m working,” she spoke bluntly as she made her way out from behind the bar, grabbing her serving tray and beginning to weave her way between tables to serve drinks to patrons.

He couldn’t help himself as his eyes travelled south on her body, appreciating the curve of her hips with a low hum deep in his chest as she sauntered away from him.

Realising that she was moving farther away from his at a fast pace, he made the quick decision to walk fast and catch up to her, apologising to audience members as his large frame momentarily blocked their view.

“Can we please talk for a moment? I promise it’ll only be quick, please-“

She fought back the urge to smirk as she interrupted him… was he begging?

“Shawn, I said I’m working! Come back another time,” she spoke louder, frustration evident in her tone.

‘She said my name. So, she did get the note,’ Shawn thinks to himself.

Just as she decides to continue walking away from him, his hand reaches out and gently grips onto her upper arm. He looks at where his hand is placed and notices how soft her skin is, small bumps arise under his warm grip and it softens the mood slightly.

His eyes trail up slowly, meeting her’s as he searches for any signs of hesitation.

“I really need to talk to you. Please.”

His eyes bore into her’s, pleading her silently to agree to a quick conversation.

She pauses, as if she’s thinking. Weighing up the pros and cons of being one-on-one with him. She’s nervous, he can tell. It runs through her like electricity, lighting up her gorgeous eyes with worry, or maybe that was just the spotlight searching the room for the current performer. Either way, it didn’t matter to him. She was in front of him, and she was beautiful.

She lets out a huff, and it’s as if they’d both been holding their breath, waiting for the other to react first.

“Go wait at the bar, I’ll be there in a few,” she sighs out in defeat.

A thankful grin crosses his features as the look in his eyes screams a million thanks.

Sitting at the bar, he orders himself a rum and coke. The alcoholic liquid calms his nerves momentarily as he sips on it slowly, not at all phased by the performance on stage as he scrolls through his phone, waiting for her to finish up serving drinks. He can feel eyes burning into him and when he glances up, he’s met with a pissed off glare from Nate, who is standing on the other end of the bar as he dries a few martini glasses. Thinking nothing of it, he looks down at his phone again, until he hears Nate clear his throat and he looks up, yet again meeting his burning eyes. Shawn raises his eyebrows and offers a friendly smile, only to be scoffed at. Before he has the chance to react, he feels someone take the drink out of his hand and place it on the bar-top, relief washing over him when he realises that it’s y/n and not some stranger looking to start a pointless fight.

She grabs his hand and leads him behind the bar into a the storage room, locking the door behind her before she crosses her arms over her chest and turns her body to face him. His cheeks are flushed when he thinks about the position he’s in; locked in a storage closet with the girl that drives him wild. He felt like he was at a trashy college frat party again.

Silence fills the room for a few seconds, the tension in the room almost too much to be able to breathe. Shawn opens his mouth to say something but she cuts him off before a sound can push its way out of his lungs.

“Just so you know, theres a massive difference between a prostitute and a burlesque performer. My body isn’t for sale,” her voice stern as her eyes hold a sense of dominance.

“Wait… what?” Confusion evident as his body language and tone of voice shift.

“You said I didn’t have to dance for money and you gave me your number. I got your note. I got the message loud and clear, Shawn.”

“You think I thought you were a prostitute? No, I wanted you to call me so that I could ask you out on a date, y/n,” he laughs out, a little bit shocked by her assumptions. Of course this would happen to him, he’d find a girl who intrigues him and she thinks he wants to hire her for the night.

“Oh… Well- well what about saying I don’t have to dance for money?” She stumbles over her words, the embarrassment of misunderstanding the simple gesture making itself known in the form of a warm, pink stain across her cheeks.

“That’s something I’ll explain to you if you let me take you to dinner?”

“Alright then, Wednesday night. I finish up here around 8, we can go for a late dinner?”

“Sounds perfect, I’ll pick you up!”

“Oh no, it’s okay I can-“

“Let me? Or is turning down my offers kind of your thing?” He questions playfully, tilting his head to the side and narrowing his eyes at her, as if he’s trying to figure her out.

She laughs in front of him for the first time tonight, and it’s almost as intoxicating as the rum and coke he didn’t have the chance to finish earlier in the night.

“Oh my god, I wish we could start over! You probably think I’m so rude,” she giggles out, her fingers pushing her stray hairs out of her face.

He offers her his hand as if he’s introducing himself for the first time. Her eyes trailing up to look into his eyes questioningly.

“Hi, I’m Shawn. I don’t think you’re a prostitute, but I would really like to get to know you if you’ll let me.”

She bites her lip and looks down at his extended hand as she smiles, fighting back a squeal of excitement. Placing her small hand in his as she locks eyes with his. The lighting in the storage room allowing her to take a proper look at his features. She takes note of his eye colour, a deep hazel; easily mistaken for brown, but she sees the green and yellow flecks in his sparkling orbs.

“They call me Babydoll around here, but you can call me y/n if you want,” she says, amused by how ridiculous they must look.

He leans down slightly, bringing her delicate hand towards his face and looks into her eyes with a smirk as he presses a slight kiss to her knuckles, causing her blush to darken and his heart to skip a beat.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

[rqs902]

qcyn ep 8 aka the loss of some real talent..... (but also, thankfully, some needed recognition was given as well)

psa im probably gonna be posting stuff involving some spoilers soon, so ill tag them as #qcyn spoilers and you can feel free to block those posts if you dont want to see them!

awwwwwww shi mingze helping mingming get people’s attention is the cutest friendship!!! mingming is so quiet... i love a supportive mingze!!! also thank you iqiyi for giving him more screentime!! i can notice it already!

LOL sun zelin in this rap heavy group..... but this group is already the most fun group hahahah omg ye ziming talking about the fact that he knows he’s not likely gonna make it so he needs to help those kids who are more popular get better......... UGH WHY DO PEOPLE NOT RECOGNIZE THIS AMAZING CHILD. oh my goodness this is so sad.... the fact that THE KIDS WHO KNOW WHAT THEYRE DOING had to make a club dedicated to helping the kids who dont.... bc they know theyll make it instead of themselves....... that just means that they all know the next elim is gonna get rid of a whole lot of real talent. thats so messed up.... this whole montage is like iqiyi being like “thanks for helping our kids look nice on stage, once you’re done, you’re gonna be forced to leave. byeeeee” 

OMGOMGOMGOMOGMOGMOMGG LIN MO IS A CANDIDATE FOR CENTERRRR YESSSSSSSS I CANT BELIEVE!!!!! AMAZING!!!! also look at all the tyger members together aww

LOL lian huaiwei is just so funny just talking LOL. wait. so about that clip of lin mo helping chaoyuan and youwei that came out earlier this week. chaoyuan and youwei arent even in his half of the group. that means lin mo went out of his way to help them even tho he hasnt been practicing with them as closely as like huaiwei. wow he not only helped his own group but he went out to make sure everyone in their larger group got special help, AND youwei still called him “teacher” which means lin mo is probably regularly helping him. wow. man,, they didnt show any of lin mo’s group’s practice wtf........ i swear iqiyi is about to drop jia yi or something bc i thought theyd at least wanna show some of him.... but the small bit we saw of their dance wow lin mo is gonna do sooo well ahhhh he looks so good already, even in these lumpy practice clothes, im so excited to see him on stage

lol yaoyao (yao bolan) is in the super cute grouppp hahahhaha but ahh him talking about every faking their happiness really.... shows how observant and sensitive he is to his friends’ feelings, which is aw....

OMG THEY JUST SKIPPED ANNOUNCING the lower ranks ???? i mean i get u gotta be time efficient, but thats a little too efficient??? omg but sun zelin!!! and wu chengze!!! and wu zelin!! omg wang jiayi dropped so much. iqiyi has seriously just dropped him like a hot potato wow. CHEN SIJIAN WENT UP WHOOOO lol the creativity is real in this one hahahaha his speech

ok im sorry but wtf how did these three (14-16) get in front of lin mo, excuse me???? sigh.... oh well, at least hes still within top 20, i just want him to at least make it to top 20... lol they only let like 3 kids talk...... this is just too efficient yall.....

omgosh........ shi zhan and yaoyao........... ahhhhhhhhhhhh my heart ;;;;; yaoyao’s smile......... another bg project boy is gonna leave ahhh 

yao chi’s speech omg..... the child has seriously been through a lot of mental trauma look at how much he’s shaking goodness

omg i cant believe jia yi dropped so much...... wtf.......... are people blind???? iqiyi is really about to drop him omg i really think they havent been giving him enough screentime alskdjlk wow way to randomly cut off jia yi’s thank you to zhan yu.... wtf i need more jia yi + zhan yu time.... zhan yu is like jia yi’s favorite gege.... omg zhan yu’s tears ahhh zhan yu may say that he wishes he could be the maknae but he honestly cares so much for jia yi, even tho he’s not much older than him, its so aw.....

omg i just looked up ye ziming on weibo and hes friends with guanguan, changbin, zhu zijie and zhong yixuan??? omggg fandom clash wowow 

this segment with these kids with disabilities........ i dont know how i feel about this...... it feels problematic to me....... the trainees dont know what theyre doing, so how is this benefitting these children? if anything its just to make the trainees look like theyre doing some great charity work or something, but i dont appreciate the attitude some of them have towards these kids... i get theyre frustrated and werent properly prepared to interact with them, which i dont blame them for, but its like why is this segment even a thing, iqiyi??? theyre just coming in and using these kids as a backdrop to make themselves look nice, and not actually doing anything sustainable or meaningful to help them... what good is it to get these kids to like them and get familiar with them just for them to leave within a few hours? its just another person who came and left........ 

omg guan yue is second omg good for you, child!!!!!!!!!!!!! good good good im glad, he deserves it!!!!!!!

lol they better show the other rounds of this basketball tournament in the extra clips..............

these ads are getting more and more ridiculous im ??? cowboys ??? ?

NOOOOO ZHAN YU!!!!!!!!! 37!??!!?!!! I CANT BELIEVE THEYRE SO CLOSE AGAIN!!!!! ALSKDJLKJLK FIRST ZHEN NAN 61 AND NOW ZHAN YU 37 AGHHHHHH ok but i cant even be mad at yuzhi bc i know he deserves it too.

OMG WHY THE FRICK WOULD YOU CHOOSE WENHAN /?!?!??? AGAIN!??//!? THEY SHOULD BE PICKING KIDS THAT NEED TO GET PICKED!!!!!! WENHAN IS THE LEAST OF YOUR CONCERNS GOODNESS GRACIOUS ALSKDJLASKJDL 

omg boyuan!!! they really like boyuan hahah but he deserves it too and zhuo yuan being so so happy for him is the sweetest ahhhh and junjie crying ahhh i love these 3 roommatesss

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS ZHAN YU!!!!!!! YESY YESYEYS YES!!!!!!!! YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?!??!? THAT MEANS WE HAVE A CHANCE TO SEE ALL 3 TYGERS ON THE SAME STAGE!!!!!!!!!! ALKSDJLAKSDJLAKSJDLJK YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS OMGOMOGMOMGG THANK YOU SO MUCH i was thinking “they really like zhan yu hahhaa they picked zhan yu last time, maybe theyll pick him again”---- THANK GOODNESS AHHHHHH ok but im kinda disappointed they literally didnt show lin mo’s reaction... only jia yi’s.... which i feel like is bc they enjoy playing off of jia yi’s emotions more.... which makes me feel (again) like theyre using the other tyger members as backdrop for jia yi, rather than respecting their friendship and group as a whole? like theyre all really amazing friends and people, theyre not just “jia yi and his friends”, if you get what i mean... but jia yi being so so happy i love!!!!! im so so so happy for them ahhhh yessssss you go zhan yu, you are amazing!!!!!!!!! get that recognition!!!!!!!

omg zhuo yuan being so happy for his friends is honestly the cutest. im sad that he didnt make it... yao chi and mingming being so happy i love!!!!!! good for yechen! his voice is honestly really nice and very unique!

frick i cant believe they didnt notice ye ziming.... and su yuhang.... they deserved better......... cheche crying ahhhh li you and kou cong deserved better too... ahhh seeing guan yue crying more than cheche or mingming crying more than kou cong, or ye ziming comforting others... its like the kids who are left are so sad for them, the kids who were actually eliminated.. this friendship is ahhhhh

man, i was just getting to know and like yaoyao and cui shaopeng too...

this is so sad for zhuo yuan and jiahao tho, like all the kids around them, physically and also in the ranking, went up, but not them.... i wonder if jiahao had been given screentime during his last stage, he wouldve gotten more votes... but bc of the hair thing, he got cut out of the ep even tho he was center......  

man, fangzhou is the last core one member left........

oh my goodness.......... that ending................. oh my goodness.................. why does this have to happen to huo zhong.................... oh goodness thats gonna be such a drastic change from huo zhong to the super cute song...... i hate to say it, but i feel like none of them would want to go there LOL ahhhhh how will guan yue choose???? laskdjlaskjlk ok im hopeful that he at least wont choose zhan yu (because hes not cute LOL) but i really really hope lin mo can stay too oh gosh.......... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh guan yue....... (i know ding feijun is also there but im guessing guan yue is gonna be the main decision maker) but if hes smart he wont choose kids who will have trouble learning a whole new dance, which means.... he is likely to take more skilled trainees....... UGH IM SO WORRIED. but tbh i guess.... even if lin mo goes from super cool handsome center to a super cutesy backup dancer.... i guess... he’ll get to challenge himself and try a new style.......... which i guess... isnt terrible........ he’ll be cute, im sure.... so as long as he can still make it into top 20, i wont be terribly distraught. honestly i feel like im being rather reasonable as a lin mo stan, like I’m not asking for him to get as much screentime as like wenhan, just at least enough so that we can tell that he exists and was there (COUGHepisode7COUGH), and I’m not asking that he be center every time or that he get into top 9, i just want him to get recognition, respect, and into at least top 20. I think he can do it!!! hes working so so hard, despite being injured, and hes helping so many other kids..... i just wish his work can be acknowledged. 

oof now thats its down to 2 votes a day... its time we see who people’s real biases are... im guessing theres gonna be some drastic changes in the rankings from here, bc the kids who are just well-liked by everyone but not actually “biased” will be dropped like crazy. i know who im gonna vote for, but im sad it means i wont be able to vote for some kids who i know will really need votes too..... but i believe you can kinda tell which kids are “bias” material and which are more just generally well-liked. that’s all im gonna say about it, but for everyone who’s voting, just choose wisely bc some kids will need your votes more than others, just saying.... 

lol guan yue’s psa to eat more fruit..... okay guan yue, okay hahahahhaha

wow i cant believe chen you and li you both got clips in the ending credits and also ye ziming even got 2 clips......... i swear they only started giving ye ziming screentime after it was too late??!!!? like they finally realized hes super funny and talented and #amazing and felt bad but ITS TOO LATE IQIYI laksjdlaklklk ill say it again ye ziming deserved better. on his weibo he says he’ll be coming out with new stuff soon tho!!! so im super excited and will def be keeping a lookout bc im sure itll be legit c: 

[baelllamyblake]

RED QUEEN ( Bellamy Blake x Reader )

Pairing : Bellamy Blake X Reader

Word Count : 2,995

Warnings : the 100 season 5 spoilers, blood mention, nothin too bad

A/N : its been a hot minute since I've wrote a fanfic & i plan to to make this into a multi parter or a series ?? theres no bellamy x reader just yet but I'm hoping to get enough feedback to proceed with a part 2 ! so pleeeease leave some feedback !! i would love it !!

FEEDBACK IS GREATLY APPRECIATED SO FCK ME UP WID IT<3

Once the night the bunker door locked shut, cutting you off from the home you finally felt comfortable in, the weight of the world sat on your shoulders. The Earth was currently simmering in radiation and those who were truly close to you were residing 254 miles in the sky, hopefully living safely in what’s left of the Ark. Illian died in the Conclave and you couldn’t talk to Bellamy either. Your goodbye was over a radio and you have never wanted to kiss someone so badly than during those last few minutes. Now, you’re stuck in an underground bastion, unable to communicate with anyone on the surface.

You never expected to become the babysitter of 1,200 grounders but you guess the responsibility was assumed when you declared everyone was allowed in the bunker. Hell, if you had known how troublesome trying to unify all the tribes into Wonkru, you would’ve left them outside like Luna planned too if she won the conclave. Yet, you had already said Wonkru was welcome into the bunker and you definitely couldn’t take it back now. You slouched in the chair Jaha once sat in when he first took over the bunker, expelling out a heavy sigh. This was going to be the next six years of your life.

You stared blankly at the papers, blueprints, and documents on the desk in front of you. You wished someone would enter the office, anyone at all, just to break the endless silence. What would Bellamy do if he were here? He probably would’ve laughed at how you were spacing out but he also would’ve stayed quiet just to stare at you a little more. Unfortunately, Bellamy was 254 miles away in the sky, hopefully living safely in what’s left of the Ark. You looked up the concrete ceiling, dreading the fact that you wouldn’t even know if he was looking down on you.

This was going to be a very long six years.

The sound of the doorknob turning instantly shifted your focus to it, a familiar face stepped into the room. He always managed to produce a geniunely warm smile despite everything crumbling around him. You always wanted to know how Kane did it. How he always stayed positive despite everything crumbling to pieces around him.

“ How are you holding up? “ Kane chimed, his grin soon faded into pursed lips. It had been a while since you got a good look at him, his forehead wrinkles deepened a little more and his hair had grown to his shoulders. He deserved a relaxing vacation, trying to save the last fraction of the human race was taking a toll on him. It was taking a toll on everyone, really.

“ As good as any person can be during an apocalypse. “ You jived playfully, attempting to lighten the dreary mood and create a space of fake comfort. Kane breathed out a small chuckle before plopping into a nearby chair, his arms crossed firmly against his chest. Kane’s eyes spoke of a silent sadness as he drifted off in deep thought. “ What are you thinking about? “

“ How far we’ve come, how much we’ve all changed. How much we’ve gone through, how much we’ve lost along the way. “ Kane huffed out, his eyes blinking back into reality. Your mind flashed back to the beginning, all the repressed memories floating along like a raging river. The delinquent’s camp, Trikru, and Mount Weather felt like it happened only yesterday. Where did all the time go?

Never once in all your years of being alive would you have thought to being a leader. You were just looking for that outlet to finally get out from under the floor and out into the open where you were free to do whatever you wanted.

“ It’s best not to dwell on the past. Showing sentiment is weakness. “ You stated bluntly, earning a loud snort out of Kane. “ I don’t recall saying something funny. “

“ Sorry, I’m just realizing how much you’ve changed, Y/N. “ He replied with a grin curling on his lips. Kane’s eyes maintained that weird twinkle, it reminded you of the eyes of a dreamer. They desperately held on to whatever shred of hope of was left, regardless of whatever was happening. “ You’ve grown up, kid. Last time I really got a good look at you, you were a dedicated warrior, simply looking for their place in life. Now, you’re a skilled leader who saved all our asses out of the kindness of your heart when you could’ve chose few or none at all. “

“ Well, let’s be glad that I was in a good mood that day. “ You politely brushed Kane’s reflection of you away with a small smile. The last thing you wanted to do was open old wounds, you already had enough of them to last you more than a lifetime. “ But thank you, I appreciate your kind words. “

“ Alright, I’ll get out of your hair, kid. Just wanted to check up on you. “ Kane spoke contently as he heaved himself off the armchair. Kane could sense that you were beginning to grow uneasy with his presence. He assumed by the slight clenching of your jaw that it was time to leave and attend to other important matters. “ Let me know if you need anything. Anything at all. “

You gave a small nod with a tight lipped smile, waving Kane goodbye as he exited through the white glass doors. You let out yet another heavy sigh, leaning back in the desk chair with eyes to the grey concrete ceiling above. You wondered what Bellamy was doing at the moment, was he having fun? Was he thinking of you too? How were the rest doing? You missed him dearly. The distance was going to drive you batshit crazy.

Miller eyed your every move warily, he held his tights fists just under his eyes. You both paced around the room like short-tempered tigers in a cramped cage. Tired of waiting for him to make the first move, you lunged forward to throw a punch only to have it blocked it by Miller’s forearm while recieving a sharp jab to the ribs. You let out a low grunt of pain as you gripped on his forearm, forcefully shoving a knee into his stomach.

You backed off to catch a breather as you watched Miller double over in pain while his hand gripped where you had kneed him. You lifted your shirt to examine your ribs briefly, it was nothing serious, just a red mark where Miller had jabbed you. Dropping the fabric, you shifted your focus back to Miller. “ Great warmup. Ready for the real thing? “

“ Come at me, Y/N. “ Miller grunted roughly as he forced his torso in an upright position. You grabbed two nearby swords, keeping one while you tossed the other to Nathan. He caught it and gave it a small swing to become familiar with its weight. You smirked deviously as you gripped tightly onto its hilt, immediately charging at Miller without notice. Your sword clashed fiercely, swings and slices were dealt left and right.

While maintaining your guard, you kept your eye out for spots of vulnerability. You swung to the left, urging your brawling partner to duck to avoid having his head chopped clean off. As soon as Miller’s back faced you, you rammed your elbow into his spine. The move shoved him face first to the ground, quickly flipping over to recover from his mistake. Your sword was aimed towards his throat, ready to kill in an instant.

“ Y/N. “ A certain voice drowned out the heavy panting of both you and Nathan, followed by a clearing of her throat. You looked towards your mentor, Indra, standing in the doorway. In her arms, she held the formal garments of Heda. Your eyes flickered from the clothes to Indra, jaw clenching slightly. “ The delegates have assembled. “

“ Dressing me up doesn’t fool anyone. “ You stated bluntly, grasping Miller by the hand to help him up on his feet. Indra took a small step towards you, holding out the fabrics in front of you. You rolled your eyes at the outfit, wiping your sweaty forehead with a towel slung over your shoulder.

“ My blood is red and it always will be. “

“ Symbols matter, Y/N. These symbols. “ Indra insisted firmly, the gear Commander Lexa previously wore sat in her outstretched palm. You wanted to scoff and groan in her face. You were the leader of Wonkru now, why weren’t you allowed to do whatever you wanted? Why should you be restricted to the old traditions “ Trust me. The more people connect you to them, the easier it is for you to lead.

You walked towards the conference room, dressed up in the ridiculous outfit Indra persuaded you to wear. You scanned the bustling halls filled with grounders and materials used around the bunker. You were growing anxious for the meeting, dread already growing throughout your chest. It had only been 46 days since Praimfaya and the delegates were already acting like children. Their problems were offen trivial with simple solutions but they often stuck to their beliefs and unwritten laws.

“ Osleya of Wonkru. “ Niylah chimed contently as she bowed respectfully in your presence. You quickly whispered for your friend to stop, the gesture felt absurd to you. It felt like people singing happy birthday to you but constantly, you had no clue what to do. Do you bow to them too? Have them kiss your pinky ring like some mafia don? Well, whatever you had to do, no one has told you how to do it yet.

“ Look at what I found. “ Niylah spoke sweetly, in her hands was The Illiad. You took it from her slender hands, running your fingers along its old spine and weathered pages. Your mind instantly flashed back to memories of Bellamy relaying some of its stories to you whenever you had trouble sleeping. The nightmares always came back but luckily, Bellamy was always there to lull you back to sleep. “ I heard Bellamy would read you the parts about Ancient Rome. “

“ Thank you. “ You replied sincerely after reading a sentence or two from the front page. Niylah observed you carefully, a warm smile on her face. “ We’re sparring tomorrow. Promise? “ 

Niylah hummed in agreement, her eyes towards Indra closely behind you. You nodded small before resuming your walk to the conference room. Gaia waited patiently in the hall, her eyes pointing sharp daggers towards you. You weren’t a nightblood so you weren’t fit to be in the position of Heda. However, the tension between you two wasn’t anything new. You just didn’t really give a shit anymore.

“ Complain to your mother. “

It was just one problem after another before developing into one headache after another. Rations were dwindling by the second, tribes were on edge, and there was just too many people in the bunker. Everyone had been suggesting solutions to the problem but now was not the time. The delegates complained about a bunch of blankets and then the meeting was completely derailed by a miniscule thunking noise. It was presumed to be Clarke banging on the bunker door but you didn’t really care to find out more information.

However, it didn’t matter anymore because there were much bigger things that needed your attention. Like, a group of Skaikru idiots who have decided to lock themselves inside the cafeteria because they think they are top priority among the grounders and deserve all the resources. You almost wanted to throw up because of how ungrateful these people were being. You didn’t want to kill anyone in these six years but some were really testing how thin your patience could get.

Your grip on leadership was sifting through your fingers like a fine sand. The state of the bunker was chaotic as innocent Skaikru members were being massacred left and right, simply for being associated with the guilty. You were flustered with the fact of being unable to do something about it directly. You would have to sneak past grounders to personally deliver Jaha to a couple of generators on a completely different floor.

“ Are you fucking kidding me? “ You cursed to yourself, checking the pulse of each body sprawled out on the ground. You were hoping some had survived but to no avail, the grounders had killed them all. You couldn’t walk a couple meters without stumbling along groups of dead people, people you knew and ended up growing close too. You were enraged, whoever started this was going to suffer the consequences of their crimes.

Becoming even more frustrated, Jaha refused to open the doors to the cafeteria until you had grasped the reins over Wonkru again and understood what it meant to be a leader. He went as far to mention the floating of your mother to make his point clear. No matter how much you hated to admit it, Jaha was right. Within a matter of sentences, he taught you what it was to be a leader over a population. God, even thought Jaha was dying, he always managed to be so wise. You wanted to hate him but you just couldn’t, Jaha made it so hard!

You were Wonkru or the enemy of Wonkru. It was time to choose.

“ It’s over. “ You gritted angrily into the walkie talkie, eyes focused on only the door. You were covered in the enemy’s blood from head to toe. Rebelling grounders decided to attack you after ignoring your decree of either choosing to be apart of Wonkru or become the enemy of the state. If they didn’t become Wonkru, they were immediatly crushed under your authority. The problem must be eliminated if you were going to keep a strong hold on your people as was said by Jaha himself. “ Open the door. “

Blood was splattered along the floors and walls in an almost artistic fashion. You could stare at it in a museum and call it “ thought-provoking. “ You breathed heavily through your nose, your body and mind craved to off the root of the problem but you had other plans. The door locks clicked open and the grounders flooded into the room with whoops and yells, apprehending anyone they could get their hands on. “ I want only the guilty! “

“ There are too many people in this bunker. And if we don’t do something about this, none of us will survive to see the sun, the sky, the ground, and I won’t let that happen. “ You projected you voice loudly so that every grounder may hear you in each corner of the room. Some looked at you in fear, the blood of their own people dried to your skin. The blood of your enemies was your armor and you made sure everyone knew it. Grounders from all the tribes quickly got out of your way as you dominated the ramp with your aura alone. “ Each of you have committed crimes against Wonkru, and the punishment for this is death. “

Immediately, blacklash broke out after your words. Murmurs and whispers scattered amongst your people. Your hands gripped the railings tightly at the complaints yet you held your tongue. After all, you weren’t done explaining. You looked down on at the guilty kneeling before you, finally feeling a sense of power at the sight. Is this what Lexa felt? You loved it.

“ This isn’t the Ark and this isn’t the ground either. There is no ‘ Blood must have blood. ‘’” You continued to speak, your eyes trained on the those who were kneeling but your words were for all in the room. Everyone was silent, waiting in bated breath for your next sentence. “ In Rome, gladiators had the opportunity to fight for their freedom. “

“ And so will you. “ You stated strongly, unsheating your sword and throwing into the middle. You spoke the rules of the mini conclave, all previous thoughts of no one is going to die under your watch were thrown out the window. This was going to solve the overpopulation problem easily. Weed out the weak and only keep the strong and disciplined. “ Win the fight, save your life. “

As soon as the last word of your sentence rolled off your tongue. Kara lunged for the sword and murdered everyone in the circle because her life depended on it. You were satisfied, onlookers watched in horror, including those who knew you closely. The sudden change in attitude was far too much for them to handle. However, this was going to be the Wonkru way so they had to deal with it or be thrown in the ring.

Six years later, the ring had evolved into a modern day Roman colosseum. It was an old form of entertainment for the grounders that happened almost every day. The metal railings that were once there were replaced with metal fences and barbed wire. The ramps were filled with cheering grounders of Wonkru, their fists banging on the fences generated even more noise that echoed down the halls.

A heavy metallic smell soaked permanently into the concrete walls, a seemingly impossible feat made into reality. Blood became the new carpet and wallpaper. Deadly weapons of different sizes were the new home decorations. Only one piece of furniture was in the room: your elaborate throne backlit with a daunting red.

Kane was shoved roughly into the ring, the crowd erupted into jeers and cheers. His shoes waded shallowly in the puddle created by the bloody of his peers. All he could think of was where did everything go wrong? He held his hand over his eyes to avoid being blinded by the floodlights. Kane made eye contact with you looking down upon him like you did with thebvery first of the guilty. You towered over him, countenance void of any emotion. Your guards, advisors, and friends reflected the same energy you emitted.

You were no longer Osleya but a ruthless Blodreina.