#but its not something she can control
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many thoughts about shams being able to sympathize with her mother but still being angry at her father (and having this one part of her that isn't able to forgive him) despite the fact that she is much closer to her father
#ethnic oldest daughter things!#her relationship with her mother is strained#yes!#but even tho shams feels a very good connection to her father due to the fact that he actually acted like a father#she feels angry at almost everything#at the fact that she lost her wings bc of the feud her father has#which deep down shams can understand is not entirely his fault#but its not something she can control#so even though her and her father spend a lot of time together and she trust him greatly there is still this part of her that cannot do it#100%...... she loves him YES but she is angry with him#i wouldnt say her relationship with him is bad in any way tho just a bit more complicated#and then you have her mother#who never actually acted like a mother#who just did her responsibilities without the actual motherly aspect of caring#who had her life ruined due to the misogyny of their society#and decided to reflect that same misogyny unto shams#(which took shams some time to genuinely be able to get rid off and make a choice for herself)#but she???? understands where her mother is coming from#she's helped so many women in her lifetime that she understands enough of what they go through in a society like theirs#and she knows her father may have been a good father but he was not a good husband#so any time she thinks of her mother its more sadness than anger#bc she wants so bad for them to have a better relationship#but at some points she also had to step back bc of how draining dealing with her is#but she understands in the end!!! where her mother is coming from#sorry i'm listening to ethel cain i'm just insane rn#&̲. ¹ out of character.
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Samurai and Ninja in crappy pics because December here is under a constant cloud and I just want y'all to see them all golden and cute without learning how to take aesthetic pictures 🥴 💙❤️😆🥰
linktr.ee/Mezzy
#klance#can i tell everyone to look away before i write tags to someone privately lmao no? damn#anyway yes i meant music!! and thank you for sharing something!!#baking seems like a hyperfixation#like i know you said you baked once but then look at me#...i was thinking if i could make salads.... i gotta be medicore at least at one food thing#its a joke its a joke#i will one day get used to focusing on more complicated kitchen work than heating up meat or cooking things in salt and water#anyone else had trouble getting out of bed this december?#once i do i try to pick physical activities that dont require creative thinking because man#at the post office i had small talk with a lady waiting in line she didnt speak polish so u know me it happened#and she recommended light therapy lamp#im very tempted to try it becase i had record bad thoughts sleepless nights and jerking awake this month#it might be rooted in economic instability growing inflation costs of living and shitty working conditions while still trying to buy gifts?#but hey there are things we cant have control over and there are things we can#ive got winter wonderland comic coming though#i will try my best to speed-finish it as a christmas gift aight#i hope its going to be a nice thing!!#wow thats a long set of tags
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Thinking about Lestat seeing Louis’s eating patterns as a waste of his gift/himself while Armand gives Louis food that he literally can not enjoy or digest just so he has something on his stomach
#if i had to give each of louis relationship a theme loustat would be shame and loumand would be enabling#which are both really bad ways of “helping” a partner with an ed#lestats shame and anger tactics only make louis more resentful and less likely to eat#while armand having the little drinks and exotic animals and the human food dont actually deal with louis problem head on-#cus at the end of the day louis is still not eating enough#and i think they really exemplifies both of their trauma and abandonment issues#both of them came up chronically food insecure#lestat was put into the role of provider at a very early age and stayed in that role until he died/was turned#so for him rejecting what lestat gives is like rejecting lestat cus he doesnt have anything else to make him “useful”#and lestats reaction to rejection is anger and control so he tries to shame and control louis into eating more/human#while armand has been abandoned by literally everyone he loves up till this point so for him its like#ok i can make people dtay if i give them what they want and what louis wants is to not feel bad about eating and so armand does that#but it still doesnt get to the root of the issue which is louis having poor coping mechanisms for his grief and other emotions#like either way you slice it. louis is not meeting his nutritional needs. he eats drinks from one guy eats a fox or some other small animal#when he should be having like two dudes at least#and then he has human food which according to anne rice makes vampires vomit up their whole stomach content so...#louis imma send you to my therapist shes great#interview with the vampire#iwtv#louis de pointe du lac#amc iwtv#lestat de lioncourt#ldpdl#iwtv 2022#armand iwtv#armand#loumand#loustat#like armand gives louis food he cant eat just so he knows theres something in louis stomach even for a short while
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Recently been filling time by trying to think what the best possible course of action would be to prevent Kaito and Kokichi's deaths if I was plopped into v3 right at the beginning of chapter 5
#Blackmailing Tsumugi to try and get her to reverse Kaito's illness seems like a major play#because it can't be some random disease or poison right? They've probably got that strictly controlled#so that he dies at a dramatically appropriate moment#Or can cure him if an impromptu motive calls for it or something#so maybe if you play your cards right....#although Im not sure she would take the bait. if you accused her of being the mastermind Im not sure she would fess up#even if you showed her evidence#shes REALLY good at acting#Even if that succeeds#how do you then prevent kaito from getting kidnapped by kokichi?#how do you stop the whole domino effect of incidents from them seeing the truth of the outside world?#How would you try to nudge shuichi into discovering the truth of v3 as a tv show sooner#its been haunting me all of today. and will continue to haunt me now that im going to bed#shut up me
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"we need more angry and complex female characters!" you guys can't even handle bryce quinlan
#yes i am once again expressing my annoyance at this fandom#is bryces hatred of the fae right? no. does it cause harm? of course it does#is it understandable when you consider that her father and the majority of the fae she encountered as a CHILD and teen were abusive fucks#that treated her like garbage for something she had no control over? abso fucking lutely#if you cant see shes traumatized by that then its on you lmfao#as if she wasnt rightfully called out for her beliefs and started to see how her thinking can be harmful by the end of hofas#anyway enough of my ranting for the night#hofas spoilers#cc3 spoilers#house of flame and shadow spoilers#crescent city#bryce quinlan#tp
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hii hiii is it alright if I request something with kotoko and haruka?(platonic ofc) their character foils drive me insane with all the weak stuff authngghn icant be normal about them
Oooh thank you so much for the request! I realized that these two actually have one of the smallest windows to talk easily, given Haruka's nervousness and Kotoko's T2 changes. They have such interesting approaches to strength/weakness, and I hope I could capture it a bit here! This takes place immediately following Kotoko's bday timeline after Harrow's release:
“I’ll accept those birthday wishes…” Kotoko gave him a wave over her shoulder as she returned to making her bed.
She shook her head in awe. It was rather impressive how quickly the boy had changed after his verdict. The others had more subtle differences, but he was someone entirely new. She could rest easy, at least, knowing that her verdict wouldn’t change her much. For as long as she could remember, she’d been like this. She knew where she stood, and neither guilty nor innocent verdict would affect that. This verdict was really only an indicator on whether the warden could be trusted or not.
Her body tensed up when she turned back around, startled by Haruka lingering silently in the doorway. She decided against chastising him for scaring her half to death. Still, she couldn’t keep the bite from her voice as she asked, “did you need something else?”
“Ah… I just…” He twisted his hands together. “I had a question.”
He fell silent, but Kotoko could tell he was chewing on his next words. She waited.
“H-how do you do it? All the time? You’re older and stronger and braver and I-I just don’t know how.”
“Give yourself some credit. I’m not that much older, or stronger. I only have, what -- two, three years on you? And you did very well in the arm wrestling tournament the other day.”
She wasn’t being patronizing. For someone so sheltered, Haruka could do some damage. He stood a few inches taller than her. The others had taken the arm wrestling as a little game, but Kotoko had used the event to measure up her fellow prisoners. After his close match with Mikoto, she had made a mental note to take him seriously.
“No…” his expression twitched, getting frustrated with the misunderstanding. “Not muscles. I mean… you don’t have someone like Muu. You don’t need someone next to you all the time. But you still talk with everyone… and it looks easy. All the time. You always know what to say, and what to do. You never look scared. You never cry.”
Kotoko’s smile softened. She wasn’t the prideful type, but his words gave her a wave of accomplishment. She certainly was scared. She did cry. But she wasn’t about to show a single crack in her resolve in front of anyone here. Haruka had given her the greatest of compliments by confirming her success.
“Ah, you mean strength of spirit. Well, that doesn’t just appear out of nowhere. It comes with my purpose, with my virtues.”
“Virtues…?”
“I see the injustice around me, and want to protect the innocent. When I see how awful the world can be, when I see the monsters that are hurting those who are weak, I can’t help myself.” She clenched her fist. “The power to do so just comes to me.”
“Oh…” Haruka looked down at his palms.
Her heart sank, realizing he didn’t quite understand. It was a shame that not all of humanity could be as righteous as her. That heroic drive had always come so naturally to her; she wasn’t sure she could put it into words to explain to others.
Haruka’s open hands were trembling. “Um. Is there any other way?”
“Hm?”
“All my life… I only cause pain to everyone.” His worry gradually turned to desperation.” I hurt everyone who gets close to me. Especially things that are small and weak. My whole life, I’ve been nothing but a… a curse. So… is there another way? Please. I want to be better. I want to be strong! I want to be like you! Tell me!”
He stepped forward, pleading. Kotoko stepped back.
His blue eyes widened at her sudden shift into defense. “Ah! I. I’m sorry. I’m-I’m sorry. It’s your birthday. You should be… Have a g-good day.”
“Wait.” Kotoko stopped him before he could flee. She was aware of the massive gap between them, the vastly different backgrounds they came from. Still, she offered the same advice that had helped her in her toughest of days.
“Don’t worry so much about others’ strength. The quickest way to burn yourself out is getting overwhelmed with the power that’s all around you. Once you start putting all your focus toward honing your own skills and strengths, you’ll realize how much you’re truly capable of. You don’t need anyone else. You’ll realize that you are enough.”
“I… am enough…?”
She placed a hand firmly on his shoulder.
“So, no need to get all worked up now, okay?”
“O-okay. I’ll do my best.” He stiffened, trying to appear worthy of her words.
She let out a bitter laugh. “I told the others not to do anything for my birthday, but I don’t think they paid me any mind.” Kotoko still couldn’t fathom how they were so friendly with each other given the situation. “Let’s go see if there’s some cake or something.”
#milgram#kotoko yuzuhira#haruka sakurai#thank you so much! this one was super interesting to write 👀#the thing is even though they dont have any direct problem between them they would still have a hard time communicating#but once they DO communicate there would so much they could learn from/help each other with!!!#this is leaning into my theory that kotokos murder (like harukas) was a rightful emotion that spiraled out of control#it really puts it into perspective how young kotoko is when you remember shes not too much older than haruka#and theyre both susceptible to strong emotions that stem from feeling weak int he face of the big scary world#but kotokos sees her as some blessing of power to serve her heroic thoughts and haruka sees his as a curse#ty to my pals who helped me find the exact spot in the timeline i was looking for 🙏#although kotoko doesnt believe she can change that easily she 100% undergoes the exact type of dramatic change as the others#once again referencing the arm wrestling info from yamanaka#between that and the fact that strangulation actually takes a fair amount of power#i just think its very good to remember that haruka is so physically strong#also something something kids looking up and wanting to be like kotoko and her complex emotions on that....#these two are sooooo interesting AH#drabbles
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lizzie get two wolves 👍
#strato.txt#oil painting#wip#im worried ive unbalanced the composition w the second one on the right tho... its so much closer to the edge#ugh whatever. aunt lizzie is the focus here#i wish i knew what she actually looked like this is just cobbled together from general features of my family#solid build... dark curly hair... bigass ears. she could be one of my cousins. she could be me#ok rq im gonna lay out the story in the tags for anyone who hasnt seen the previous lizzie art#my great-something aunt lizzie was disabled and couldnt walk very well and she died young#she wanted to see the second floor of the farm house real bad but no one ever carried her up there and she died before seeing it#they buried her in a long white dress somewhere down at the creek. we dont know where her graves lost unfortunately#the night she was buried something wearing a white dress walked into the house and up the stairs and disappeared#and sometimes you can hear her down around the creek screaming#somewhere along the line wolves got mixed into the imagery for me#my uncle told me a story about another 'white thing' that was wolfish and would jump on cars#so i just assumed lizzie was a werewolf my whole life#anyways. i think her staying after she died was a manifestation of her desire for autonomy. maybe#maybe if shed had modern accommodations she wouldnt have felt the need to stick around. or maybe she would have idk#either way i think death afforded her control over her own desires in a way she hadnt experienced before#and i think thats why she still hangs around the creek#i hope she would like this. maybe ill take it down there and leave it out for a night when its finished so she can see
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Man this is so random but this theory is stuck in my head and I wanna see how other people feel about it because I don't see people talk about it a lot (I have no clue if the link will go through properly since I've never put a link in a ask box)
https://www.tumblr.com/art-w0rm/667910993425350656/theory-time
Oh god not this theory again. I really truly try not to be mean to people for no good reason on this blog, but this theory is literally one of the stupidest fucking things I've ever seen in my entire life. I don't talk about this theory because to me it's like the walten files theory equivalent of that tubby custard mechanically separated chicken post.
Most of the time I genuinely don't even consider it worthy of my time, because it's nonsense, but this is a very nicely worded ask, and I really don't mean to dedicate any of the vitriol I hold towards this theory to You, poor anonymous person, so I will deconstruct it. I will go through the theory point-by-point and deconstruct why I disagree with it.
First up, this:
Showbear is not a character in The Walten Files anymore. Showbear was fully retconned and is never going to appear in the series again. He was effectively just a cameo of ThunderingStatic's (one of Martin's friends) OC, but when The Walten Files blew up and people started assuming Showbear was Martin's character, Static decided to withdraw his character from the series and focus putting him in other projects.
Martin talked about this on Twitter forever ago, but I wouldn't be able to find that tweet now. But here's a bit from the interview he did with KnowYourMeme back in 2021 where he talks about it:
Now this:
This is just stupid to me? Like a complete logical incongruity? I barely even know how describe what is dumb about this because I can't even fathom how anyone draws this conclusion from this information. How is it strange for a man to say 'if my wife isn't home by the time she said she was going to be, let me know, in case something happened.'????? Why would Rosemary be out cheating on her husband with her fucking daughter with her??? If Rosemary was cheating on her husband why would her whole life collapse when he went missing? If Rosemary was cheating on her husband why would she show up at the restaurant every day after he disappeared asking if anyone had seen him and hoping to find him alive??? Why would she make paintings of herself and him together after he disappeared????? What the fuck are you talking about?
Ok now this:
Whatever. This is maybe the most coherent part of the theory, to me. I definitely agree that Sha evokes a 'wolf in sheep's clothing' sort of aesthetic, but I do remember Martin saying something in a Twitter Q&A at one point about how that wasn't actually intentional, and that Bon was the character he actually meant to seem unusually predatory. I looked for a while and couldn't find a screenshot of that, but I did find this one where he says the thing about Bon:
So whatever. take that with a grain of salt.
I don't even know what to say. here. Whatever. sure she was rolling in the hay
yeah Rosemary is asking if she's still beautiful because she cheated on her husband and not because she was chopped up and stuffed inside a big animatronic sheep. I think this is correct and is the True Deep Lore.of the walten files. I'm sure this doesn't have anything to do with the recurring motif of the double-meaning behind the word Beautiful either.
I don't know why it's weird that the lost lingering spirit of a mother would be calling out to her only living child. I Don't know why that needs additional explanation involving this batshit infidelity conspiracy theory.
Sha's chest is also ripped out
So is Banny's, honestly? Just a little less?
ok now this:
I guess I can't disprove this except that I think this is dumb. I think this is a really incredibly stupid logical leap to make. Y'know I really meant to go into this levelheadedly and very calmly go through every point and talk about why I think it's Decisively Disagreeable or whatever but I can't. I really can't. I just cannot keep my patience with this sort of thing.
You'd think if there was an infidelity aspect here it would've been lampshaded in some respect, at all, in the old /sophiewalten findjackwalten page text. Where it's literally Sophie talking to Jenny about what she remembers about her family.
Especially if the idea is that Sophie is meant to have been there. You'd think something like that would have come up here. Not 'she was nice and a good mom until my dad disappeared and her mental health started getting worse'
#ask#this theory always feels like someone's pulling a prank on me. like they're trying to see how much stupid bullshit they can say convincingl#before i notice and get mad#i'm sorry i couldn't keep it together for you anon I really dont mean to make anyone feel like an idiot#i just really don't have the patience for something like this today I think.#we haven't seen a lot of rosemary's characterization in the walten files yet#but everything we HAVE seen externally characterizes her as loving and compassionate but also sharply protective of the people she loves#and also so very deeply incredibly in love with her husband#and there's actually a decent bit of positioning her and jack as equals in their relationship which isn't exactly usual for the time#yknow. she has her own car and she has a job (even if its working for her husband's company.)#she's headstrong and ferociously talented and her husband is very supportive of her and of her artistic endeavors#yknow. the tragedy of jack and rose isn't that their relationship was bad#it's that their relationship was great and it was cut short over factors outside of their control#and now it lingers through the hallways of abandoned buildings as a broken facsimile of itself#there was a wonderful family full of people who loved each other intensely and had their whole lives still ahead of them#and it took one summer for all of it to be gone
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i need to consume something or my thoughts consume me
#all my therapist telling me she wont treat me until i go sober taught me is to lie to the therapist#and it made me question therapy altogether but all my friends swear by it#but now i already told everyone im going sober so i fucked myself 😑#well i should learn how to be sober during the week so i can get back into fitness#i have to call the drug counsellor she referred me to and see what she says#something has to change for sure… but im starting to think some people just arent meant to be fully sober#a lot of people dont see through or dont care about the bullshit but i do#and the bullshit just doesnt stop#i just need to be on top of that and have more self discipline and thats what i need to learn#how to not give into my impulses… and then i can do recreational substance use or something instead of abusing them#personal#but at the end of the day its about emotional regulation and self discipline and creating a better life for myself#because when its not substances then its the tv or food or shopping like the general issue is my lack of impulse control#so i dont really see how sobriety will solve all that it will just make me wish i had substances to ease my mind
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Getting closer, getting really close now I swear (Patreon)
#Doodles#Just Desserts#Villainsona#True Villainy AU#Just ignore how many times I've said that up to this point lol - I'm serious this time!#I always feel so bad designing TVAU outfits because Charm is always so miserable as a model haha#Could this be a contributing factor as to why it's taken so long?? No I enjoy drawing her like that lol#Made some design notes about the important elements of what I want for her True Villain look - more than just ''Her but Kaiein influence''#I'd still really like a nod to dragon scales of some kind but honestly her classic design is more that#Always going on about her spider theming how to make it dragony! It's the one thing I'm still hung up on lol#As for the rest I think it's Really getting close :) I got to actually turn her little ''shawl'' - I always knew it was Kaiein-related -#Into something that properly mimics his shape! It's all controlled by her tho it's not a part of his body - just magic-infused matter#Made to look like him so there's still that creep factor but it's more her body than his - she can control its shape :D#And I got to keep the jewels! Yesss - made it a motif! Now it's also on her hips and knees to break up her visual space yes very good#It's drips :) Y'know - like ink :) Finally figured that one out lol good job setting up my own symbolism me#And then some elegant drapey bits to match her ''shawl'' and continue to break up her space!! Yes! Good!!#I still haven't decided on a colour palette I think black and white is too obvious and too Kaiein but hmmm - she has a lot of colours#Lots of options to pick from but which is the Correct one - her hair would stay pink so maybe some of her pinks or purples#I'll play with some digital swatches later :)#I'm also so glad I could implement the hood design from one of the scrapped outfits ah <3 I love her in a hood she's so cute#I'm rather pleased with the way the spider web design breaks up her form as well - it's more subdued than the full bottom/shoes stripes but#It's also not very clear here lol the long ones that all the way down to her feet are the third from the center ignore that second one#The second lines out from the center host her wings! Very important!#Kinda reminds me of my holosona in a way actually :0 They /are/ both Evil-aligned hmmmm#All the more reason to colour palette! Differentiate the colours in my head#Really do feel like I'm approaching it now fdjsklafd getting close now!!
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the solution to the "are you normal about X people who turn out to be Y" debate is stop fucking assuming things about people
You wanna know what pronouns to use for an individual? Ask them.
As a general rule, don't make jokes about the identity you perceive of someone. Know your audience
How is that hard? Why do we all think ourselves such experts on the lives of other people??????
#gopher rambles#rant#listen. I know assumptions are something you can't always control having. But you can control how you treat them and talk about them#that masc presenting person likes “girly things”?#well you can't know for sure if they're an egg who will come out as transfem in a few years or a stealth transmasc who likes stuff they gre#up with (or maybe never got a chance to properly enjoy!) or a gnc cisguy or transnuetral or ANYTHING#Who fucking died and made you the omnipotent godking? And if you arent why the hell do you think you know these things for sure????#Listen. Im not immune to having assumptions about people. I've been in plenty of situations irl where I think “that person might be trans”#but I don't just. Go buckwild with it? I either wait for them to volunteer that information or I go “hey how should I refer to you”#its not hard oh my god#regardless I'm personally never going to win. Genderless is not the assumption anyone will ever make about me and I can barely get folks to#call me a they/them let alone he/him. I'm not bothered by she/her but I sure would like if folks stopped fuckin assuming shit#stop shoving people into boxes before I shove your ass off a fuggin cliff
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okay but seriously killcode meeting earth, the PERSONIFIED thing that creator put into moon and now is a person. AND HAS THE EXPERIENCE OF CREATORS ACTUAL BULLSHIT.
#i know i know its in her code to excuse creator but u can absolutely make her realize somethings WRONG#when she cant even fathom killcodes story#like in a general sense of 'i should be feeling something different. i shouldnt be excusing any of that.'#LET HER GET EXISTENTIAL HERE#while not disbelieving creator but definitely having more drive to figure out whats causing her to be like this#ALSO SECURITY CODEEEEE GUYYSSSS GUYSSS AHAHAHA#u may think 'oh like another person?' NO. NO I DONT MEAN THAT AT ALLLLL.#actually like considering how killcode was very much coded to be murderous and stuff. earths own reluctance to use her security code#what COULD that do that makes the one whos suppose to keep the peace not wanna use that EVEN IN DIRE NEED (lunars life)#i dont think she knows what thats suppose to do. and lkely creator telling her ONLY under VERY SPEFIC circumstances must it be used#and given he CAN TAKE CONTROL OF HER#HM HN HMN HMN HMNNNN#i have so many thoughts on the implications of it
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ok i like rushed through the whole orv webtoon way too fast so now i have thoughts going in like 5 different directions but ep121-123 drive me so fucking insane actually. every time i think about those two conversations i have to sit down
#orv#orv liveblog#like i feel like depictions of childhood abuse in fiction tend to depiction the relationship as some version of#'the one evil violent parent and the one good parent trying their best (it wasnt good enough)'#see: the twins parents from lc s2 is the obvious one but also like#going back to my roots lol but enji and rei todoroki? or hell even fire lord ozai and ursa#yknow theres this idea of like theres the one who was trying! and the one who fucked it all up#well yeah rei's the one who scarred her sons face but thats so obviously framed as like a trauma response outside of her control#like its not something youre reeaally meant to blame her for yknow#the WHOLE idea with kim dokja's conversation with yoo sangah is whether he's supposed to blame/forgive lee sookyung#wait ok those conversations drive me so insane like im feeling the alevel literature urge to fuckin close read quotes#that one line where he thinks like this is the vilest form of violence he can use against sangah goes by SO fast but it hit me SO hard#the idea of asking her to put herself in this nightmare situation she has no frame of reference for understanding or empathising with#and then asking her as someone who she rly cares about! to be the judge in this situation she cannot possibly fully grasp#and all of that being framed as an act of violence towards her. like asking her to do this knowing she cant possibly do it#but also 'did you want me to seem pleased to see you' 'a little (lie)' and 'do you think of me as a mother' 'a little (lie)'#like the pretense of a normal relationship over the yeah we know our relationships fucked over the#unfortunately we still talk and think in the same way and we understand each other way too well#ok wait but circling back to the original point. i saw this fucking incredible fanart on twitter that sort of goes into the like#how do you?? handle?? not knowing if youre supposed to blame your parent for something that they did that hurt you#like its this little animation thing thats all in kdj's internal monologue except for one line where its him saying#'im terrible. i deserved what she did to me'#and its like. yeah that would be easier huh. like the self loathing is easier to handle than the confusion and cognitive dissonance#full disclosure i saw that fanart literally a year ago before i knew jack shit about orv and the sentiment hit me SO HARD i just#havent been able to stop thinking about it for a whole year. like as soon as i finished 123 i immediately went to look for it in my archive#i checked the artist has a tumblr but that art is not on it and it bugs me so much i want them to know that they somehow like#managed to make art so painful it defeated both my non-orv reading self and my lifelong severe memory problems#i mean in comparison that line (that also went by alarmingly fast) about how without twsa back then like kdj would not be here today#like not so much to dig into just. Yikes#and him telling ysa all of this with that fucking smile on his face like thats the part that really gets to me just his *fucking expression
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QYICK POST EXPLAINING SOME THINGS. ryoma's stupidly tragic backstory... HEED the tws
Actually I exceeded the tag limit crap I'll rb w a continuation after I shower
#speeding thru this cos i gotta shower#tw physical abuse#tw suicide#i think those cover everything?#tw abuse#okay#so ryoma was sent away when she was 14 to live with her uncle living in Japan#Ryoma is originally from Puertorico (giving myself rep ay) but her parents didnt like handling w her compulsion with things being backwards#her fascination is something psychological but I dont want to give her a official diagnosis since Ryoma's case is so specific#it mostly harmless (like physically) but it gets in the way of her daily life and its really hard for her to make friendships.#but she can live just fine with some extra help and therapy#enter. The worst man ever#Ryomas uncle used to be pretty good to her when she first arrived but it slowly got worse and worse until it went into abuse territory#his life just went downhill and he took it out on Ryoma#Ryoma was very dependent on him so they just. dealt with it#it got so bad for Ryoma that she attempted to end her life by jumping off a tall building. she survived#but the injuries from that healed poorly and now she has permanent damage from that#besides the uncle being violent towards her he was also very controlling. shutting down her hobbies and dreams#he didnt like that Ryoma was friends with josuke and the gang but at that point Ryoma didnt care and went out anyways#dealt with the consequences#anddd then Ryoma was sent to a 'mental health retreat in the mountains' which was a actually. supernatural horror thing. ill talk abt that#one day#the place caught fire and Ryoma went back to discover all of her things are gone bc her uncle thought she would never come back#And then proceeded to make her life hell until THE incident#where Josuke and Da Gang witnessed ryomas uncle beating her up and ! the cops were called#he was taken away and Ryoma went to the hospital... everyone was so shocked#they had no idea something like this was going on and Ryoma always acted so cheerful#timeskip to the trial. since Ryoma is able to turn her memories into film she has Loads of evidence#ryoma is living w rohan. very nice of him#methinks joseph provided Ryoma w top lawyers too... everyones looking out for her
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venting dont mind me xp ✌
#if i dont get out of my parents house im going to die#either by my hand or my mothers#i refuse to be forced into the role of woman becuz my mother cant get over herself or accept other peoples suffering#so i either leave or i die#i am never more depressed than when im in this house and it gets worse everytime i return#every second of oeace is a facade careful held up by smiles and jokes while ignoring who i am to please others#and ignorjng the genuinely genocidal beliefs of my parents against myltple peoples#at least one of which includes me#why cant life be easy#when is it .y turn to tbrive#in this hluse i am no older than a middle schooler no more mature or happy#everyday i dream of relapsing sh-ing just for some control of the pain i experiemce something anything#maybe someone will finally listen to me and se ehow ioset i am see how smothered i am and the sting will pull me back down to earth again#but no who would see would understand#my brothers or my parents none of them would kniw why even if i said it to thwir face#i dint event even want to think of what my mother woukd say#shed use it as an excuse to further deny my transness surely#say how horribke and spirtful and manipulative i am against her#that i ddi it to hurt her#i am trapped as a doll in a house only allowed to be agreeable no politics no emotions other tan#contentness and love and adoration for my family#or else i am unloveavle and horrible and sick#i cannot tell my mom she has uoset me becuz it would be unfair i am silent instead#i am to take her anger and rage as a perfect recepticle and no matter how well i handle it#i am thanked with resentment amd scorn amd terfisms#i can neither disagree woth her beliefs nor avoid discussing them to keeo the oeace all she wants is comoliance#i refuse to do that tho ill take hee scorn on that one thing i refuse to xomprimise my beliefs verbally to save my own skin#ill just be quiet#im sure id be a better recepticle for her dead so she can dress me up as a girl one last time#the dead cant argue or disagree with you its everything she wants from me
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I'm sorry but I think its good that tom is saying stuff that makes you all uncomfortable. I think everyone is a little too willing to make him the hurt innocent underdog
#not able to articulate it fully which is why its in the tags#but however downtrodden he may appear he's still one of the large club of white men governing the show#and the gay shadowing and his relationship with shiv made him oversympathetic to most of the audience watching#but this man is not a victim like whatsoever 💀 building on that post i reblogged today#the entitlement is something ever present in the way he interacts with shiv#and something interesting i notice is how its only ever with shiv and greg#who are people he can control in a romantic and professional sense#especially because greg is kind of a foil to shiv when it comes to tom#“i will not let go of what is mine” etc etc#and the subservience to shiv only lasts as long as she's his only way into the family#as soon as he has an in with logan (janitors of idaho id say?) most of that stops#even in s1 as soon as the ships scandal comes to his attention he's all too happy to hide it + the ravenhead issue#my point is he's never been a good person and idk why any of you are surprised. especially don't know why the shiv haters have been arguing#what is basically reverse sexism 💀💀#as if it wasn't abundantly clear from s3 that he exercises just as much & more control as her if he wants to#with the period tracking and the baby thing.#idk maybe i will make a better post clearly i have thoughts
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