#but just ignoring their existence is also wrong

[busket]

if you're fearmongering about the effects of T I think you need to come to terms with your own physical body and your existence as a human, even your existence as a mammalian animal bc some of these terfs and radfems have shockingly sterilized ideas of what it means to even exist in a real body.

"it'll make you fat and hairy and stinky" everyone has fat. everyone has body hair. everyone produces sweat and oil in their skin which produces an odor, unless you are showering like, every hour. these are natural parts of being a healthy living being. we're all apes for fucks sake

"you'll go bald" everyone will lose some fullness in their hair as they age, and that's ok, even cis women. isn't feminism about stepping away from western beauty standards, and how your appearance doesn't determine your worth?

"bottom growth is nasty" first of all you're wrong, youre a fake pussy lover, but also you are ignoring the wide diversity of vulvas that exist. and just like penises, clitorises come out of the factory in a great variety of sizes, even without hormone replacement.

"testosterone will make you angry and stupid and misogynistic" no it won't, but only one of us is implying that having body fat/hair/odor, hair loss, or a clitoris/vulva that isn't cute and petite is somehow inherently nasty, and that sounds really misogynistic and stupid to me. you gotta be pretty angry at the mere existence of trans men to be fearmongering about testosterone like that!

[salt216000]

I saw a post today that made me quite upset. Normally I'd just ignore, but I read some of the tags and they upset me quite a bit too.

Username is cropped out because I don't want to make it seem like I'm putting 'em on blast, I just want to give my opinion on this.

Transfem headcanons of Gabriel are absolutely fine. Awesome, even. But not while putting down transmasc headcanons at the same time.

The post makes a really interesting and good point! Transfem Gabriel does work well with his narrative of growth and discovery of his own identity, especially as someone cast out of Heaven for not achieving the ridiculous standards they set. That is a really good notion that, yes, being entirely honest, I don't see as frequently from that angle.

But you do NOT have to say it is a 'failure of the fandom' and pin the blame on more people headcanoning him as transmasc. If you want transfem Gabriel content then you can make it: art, writing, musings, anything, but you don't have to put down other creators for projecting their own ideas and potentially their own experiences onto a character they like and relate to.

I'm going to preface this next part with: I am NOT disparaging against transfem Gabriel headcanons, or giving reasons as to why they shouldn't exist. All I am doing here is clarifying why people tend to headcanon him as transmasc. Francis Xie was hired by Hakita to draw concept art, and he is known for drawing a lot of artwork of Gabriel (some NSFW in nature, as a warning in case you decide to look for yourself), and in said artwork he depicts his headcanon of Gabriel being transmasc. Of course, this is not gospel, it is not officially canon and even if it was people are allowed to headcanon him as whatever they want, I only bring this up to help explain why the headcanon may be so popular.

More personally, I find it really gender affirming to have a character in the ballpark of masculine in frame and voice, but to see him wear more feminine clothing in official artwork without it being degrading. It's very nice to see a depiction of this to help push back against the reinforcement that masculine presenting people must conform to certain standards, and that's why I personally enjoy the headcanon too.

There are also a decent few characters that DO get more transfem rep: Mirage, the mindflayers, mannequins, V2, so I don't understand why it's a problem that it is the minority with Gabriel. I wasn't originally going to post this publically, but these tags pushed me to do so:

Username once again cropped out for the same reason as above. To be clear, these are NOT OP's tags.

I don't care what the original tone OP meant was, if it was joking or playful or whatever else, because the sentiment that that post gathered is absolutely wretched. I don't have much else to say about it without getting deeper into gender stuff that I don't want to extend this post with, but I'll reiterate my main point.

You can be upset that there aren't headcanons that represent a certain idea you prefer, but DO NOT put down others who have contrasting ideas in the same breath. If you want to make a post about Gabriel being transfem being a great narrative, go for it, no one will stop you, but do not fucking wrap in a 'transmasc headcanons are wrong and don't get it, and my headcanon is more correct', and at those tags in particular, do NOT treat transmasc headcanons like this, 'transmasc pandemic' is such an awful way to put it and makes me feel as though a line in the sand is being further drawn between transmascs and others who are not.

[chiisana-sukima]

Hey so this post just came up on my dash and its an interesting perspective for sure. I was wondering if youd feel inclined to share your thoughts on it but no pressure ofc feel free to ignore.

https://www.tumblr.com/zudilio/648738136098275328/the-thing-is-that-i-miss-the-early-seasons?source=share

Yeah, I saw it on my dash too and considered reblogging with comments, but it's three years old and the OP has said in other posts that they're a "Sam ignorer", so I figured they wouldn't be appreciative. Also, to a certain extent, "they should've given the plot points I don't like to the character I don't care about" is just a matter of taste, so there's not a ton to say about that part anyways.

As far as the "Sam is like John because at the start of the show he's driven by anger and his need for revenge" part, my thoughts on it are here, and @ardentpoop and @aliusfrater have excellent meta here as well.

Leaving aside the piece where I think the OP is wrong about Sam though, I do agree with them that Dean's character arc was mismanaged, and I sympathize with them and all the other Dean girls (gn) who got stuck with *waves vaguely at spn in general*. I agree with OP that Dean isn't an inherently angry person. I don't believe inherently angry people exist, but even beyond that, I don't think the intended reading of spn is that Dean's story is about anger. Gamble said at some point very early on that on the inside Dean is a frightened little boy who never had the chance to grow up, and I do think spn carries that thread through the seasons pretty well all the way to s15, where it attempts (with not-great success imo) to resolve it.

Unfortunately, I also think that spn's failure to resolve Dean's character arc satisfactorily was inevitable, and that the things that attract many fans like OP, who identify with Dean, are the same things that made resolving his issues impossible given the set-up. Just as Sam has a realistic case of poorly-controlled, chronic dissociative/classic PTSD (with psychosis during s7 and some CPTSD-like features) and doesn't have the resources to manage it beyond bare-bones survival, Dean has pretty realistic untreated, chronic CPTSD/BPD without the resources to even begin to manage it in a way that doesn't destroy his own life and the lives of the people around him. Dean's violence stems ultimately from his childhood environment, sure, but the person he is by the time we meet him in s1 has severe attachment issues, difficulty regulating his emotions, poor distress tolerance, black and white thinking in a job where black and white thinking results in victimizing people based on factors they have no control over, and most of all, no real concept of boundaries whatsoever. The cause was for sure his childhood, but the present of spn is just a very symptomatic adult. His mental health issues--and Sam's too--are the kinds of chronic illnesses that never go away and that people struggle with over their entire lifespans.

I don't want to be overly negative; many people with mental illnesses this severe do learn to manage them well and live full and happy lives (I am, within reasonable limits, one of them). But it's hard. And longstanding, deeply-rooted patterns of thoughts, beliefs, and behavior don't change without community resources, considerable effort, and for most people, years of trial and error. Spn's main premise is, for some wild reason, that the problems Sam and Dean encounter are metaphorically equivalent to real life problems normal people encounter all the time, but that in the spn world, all of the resources real world people have available to help them are impossible to access, except guns and torture. It's s13 before spn manages to get Sam and Dean into ONE SESSION of therapy with someone they can tell the truth to, and by then, we get this:

Dean is being a lot less unrealistic here than one might think, and yes, this picture will end badly in real life too.

Since the finale, a lot of fans have said things like "Dean deserved to go to therapy and get better" or "spn thinks if you have trauma, you should kill yourself about it", but deserving is fake. We in the real world live in a The Good Place universe. There's no fair calculus for who "deserves" anything. Everyone both deserves health and happiness and love and a comfortable life and also deserves nothing because there are other people who have nothing.

And unlike ours, the spn universe is not a The Good Place universe. It's worse. The writers of spn are and always have been profoundly ungenerous. The whole universe is built on victim-blaming and bullshit calculi of what crimes deserve what punishments and who should or shouldn't mete them out. In the spn universe, Dean is lucky. He had not one, but two BPD favorite persons, and he treated them both like shit, and they still both loved him and wanted to be with him and will be with him in the afterlife, presumably continuing to have the same intense, volatile relationships they've always semi-tolerated.

I like to pretend that maybe Sam, Dean and Cas can all read The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook on Heaven's version of archive.org and take it to heart, or that maybe Sam grew some boundaries in the years he lived without Dean that he can insist on hard enough and long enough for Dean to get a reparative relationship out of, and they can all after-live happily ever after. But the Dean that was alive during the 15 years of spn hadn't done that work yet, and the outcome he got was--if one subscribes to "deserving" as a concept--better than what he "deserved". If you hit your partner, you deserve to be left. If you hold a gun on them, you deserve for it to go off and kill them by mistake and you never see them again (although of course they don't deserve to die). It doesn't matter who the "angry" partner in the relationship is. Any sane person in this universe or the spn one should be angry a lot of the time, because both universes suck. Not to beat a dead horse with a flowchart but:

image source

The violence is the bastard. The emotions are not.

[merwgue]

The A Court of Thorns and Roses (ACOTAR) fandom is one of the most divided literary communities today. It’s not just a matter of which characters people ship, but rather a deep schism over how people interpret the characters, themes, and real-life issues embedded in the story. The arguments go far beyond typical fandom disagreements and have morphed into full-fledged debates about morality, trauma, and the human condition. At the heart of these conflicts is the tendency for fans to project their own experiences and values onto the characters, creating new "canon" versions of the story to fit their narrative. What makes this even more significant is that ACOTAR isn’t just fantasy fiction—it touches on real issues like domestic abuse, sexual coercion, trauma, and mental health. These are not fictional concepts; they are lived experiences for many people. By brushing these topics aside or simplifying them, the fandom risks doing a disservice to the people who see their own pain mirrored in the pages of these books.

"It’s Just Fiction" — A Dismissive Take on Real Issues

When people say "it’s just fiction," they’re missing the point. Fiction, especially in fantasy, is often used as a mirror to reflect real-world problems. In ACOTAR, we see characters grappling with trauma, mental illness, abuse, and recovery—things that real people face every day. It’s not simply a story of faeries and magic; it’s a story of survival and the human struggle to overcome deep-seated pain.

Take Rhysand’s actions, for instance. Under the Mountain, he subjects Feyre to what can only be described as sexual coercion, making her dress in revealing clothing and sit on his lap while drugged, all under the guise of "protecting" her. In the real world, this would be considered sexual harassment or even assault. The argument that he was forced into these actions to protect her doesn’t erase the trauma it inflicted on Feyre. Fans who brush this off as a romantic plot device are ignoring the very real dynamics of power, consent, and coercion that exist in abusive relationships.

Similarly, Gwyn’s backstory, though not heavily detailed, strongly implies that she was gang-raped by Hybern’s forces during the war. The fact that this is left as an undertone in the series, not explicitly addressed, doesn’t make it any less important. Sexual violence, like what Gwyn endured, is a topic that has far-reaching emotional and psychological consequences for survivors. Yet, in some corners of the fandom, these moments are glossed over in favor of debating which romantic pairing is better.

Tamlin: Abuser or Victim of Circumstance?

Tamlin is one of the most hotly contested characters in the series, and it’s easy to see why. His actions in A Court of Mist and Fury—where he physically confines Feyre, restricts her movements, and isolates her from the outside world—are textbook examples of domestic abuse. There’s no argument that what he did was wrong. But there’s also context that complicates his character and, in some ways, makes him more sympathetic than he’s often given credit for.

Tamlin was traumatized by the events Under the Mountain, forced to watch helplessly as his people suffered for fifty years. He was powerless, and that sense of impotence likely contributed to his need for control once Feyre returned to the Spring Court. He was terrified of losing her, and that fear manifested in controlling behavior. Does that excuse what he did? Absolutely not. But it provides a context that many readers seem to ignore. Tamlin was also suffering, and he lacked the emotional tools to cope with his trauma in a healthy way.

Feyre, too, was suffering, but neither of them communicated effectively, and their relationship deteriorated as a result. Both were deeply broken, but instead of healing together, their trauma pulled them apart. Some fans take this complexity and reduce Tamlin to a one-dimensional abuser, ignoring the fact that many abusers come from places of deep pain themselves. Others take it too far in the opposite direction, defending every action he took. The truth lies somewhere in between: Tamlin was an abuser, but he was also a victim of his own unresolved trauma.

Rhysand: Savior or Manipulator?

Rhysand, on the other hand, is often seen as Feyre’s savior, the one who rescues her from Tamlin’s abuse and shows her how to be strong. But the fandom’s lionization of Rhysand ignores many of his own toxic behaviors, particularly his emotional manipulation of Feyre.

While Tamlin physically trapped her, Rhysand’s control was far more insidious. He isolated Feyre mentally, ensuring that the only people she trusted were members of his Inner Circle—people whose loyalty ultimately lies with him. Over time, Feyre’s connections to anyone outside of Rhysand’s immediate orbit are severed. Lucien, who had been a close friend, is gradually pushed away, and Feyre is left with no one to question her relationship with Rhysand.

This emotional isolation is a form of manipulation that can be just as damaging as physical confinement. Rhysand controlled the narrative around Feyre, making sure that she only saw the world through his lens. This is most evident in A Court of Silver Flames, when he instructs his Inner Circle not to tell Feyre about the dangers of her pregnancy. He withholds vital information about her own body, taking away her agency and reducing her to a bystander in her own life. The fact that Mor, Cassian, Amren, and Azriel all follow his orders without question only reinforces the power imbalance in their relationship.

Many fans excuse Rhysand’s actions because he’s portrayed as the "good guy" in contrast to Tamlin. But when you strip away the romantic lens, Rhysand’s behavior is just as controlling and manipulative, albeit in a different way. The fact that Feyre wasn’t physically confined doesn’t make his actions any less problematic.

The Creation of a New "Canon"

Given the complexity of these characters and the morally gray areas they inhabit, it’s no wonder that parts of the fandom have taken to creating their own "canon" versions of the story. Fans rework characters’ motivations, rewrite key events, and even create alternate universes to fit their preferred narrative. In some ways, this is a normal part of any fandom; people create headcanons and fan fiction to explore different possibilities within the world. But in the ACOTAR fandom, this rewriting often feels like a necessity rather than a choice.

Pro-Rhysand fans, for instance, downplay or outright ignore his more problematic actions, painting him as the perfect mate for Feyre. On the flip side, anti-Tamlin fans erase any nuance in his character, labeling him irredeemable and unworthy of any sympathy. It’s as if the original narrative can no longer be accepted as it is because it doesn’t fit into a simple good vs. evil framework.

This rewriting of canon can be harmful because it erases the complexities that make these characters human. Tamlin is not just a villain, and Rhysand is not just a hero. Both characters have committed acts of abuse, but they also have their own traumas and struggles that inform their actions. Ignoring these complexities simplifies the narrative in a way that doesn’t do justice to the story’s deeper themes.

The Seriousness of ACOTAR’s Themes

The divisions within the ACOTAR fandom aren’t just about ships or character preferences; they’re about how seriously the themes of the series should be taken. Domestic abuse, sexual coercion, trauma—these are not just plot points to be dismissed as fiction. They are real, painful experiences that people face every day.

Feyre’s experiences with both Tamlin and Rhysand reflect different forms of abuse, and neither should be diminished. Tamlin’s physical control was overt and obvious, while Rhysand’s emotional manipulation was more subtle but no less damaging. Both forms of abuse are real, and both deserve to be addressed with the gravity they warrant.

Similarly, Gwyn’s implied assault is a reflection of the horrors that many survivors of sexual violence face. Her story is not just a subplot; it’s a reflection of the very real trauma that many women endure. Dismissing these moments as mere fiction invalidates the experiences of readers who may have lived through similar pain.

Conclusion

The ACOTAR fandom is divided because the series itself is complex, filled with morally gray characters and real-world issues that demand serious consideration. By rewriting canon to fit personal narratives, parts of the fandom are erasing the very complexities that make the story impactful. Domestic abuse, sexual coercion, trauma—these are not topics that should be brushed aside or simplified. They are reflections of real pain, and they deserve to be treated with respect and understanding. Both Tamlin and Rhysand are flawed characters, and both engage in abusive behaviors, though in different ways. Acknowledging these complexities is essential to understanding the series as a whole, and it’s something the fandom, as divided as it is, must come to terms with.

[velvetvexations]

Even putting aside what a ridiculous comparison that is, I need it understood that the primary way transradfems engage with "material reality" is through movies from the previous century.

It's hypervisibility vs. invisibility. Trans women were openly mocked and trans men were ignored or just subsumed into a range of experiences for cis women. That's changing now that trans men are getting more spotlight than they had before, although it's still tilted in those directions.

But there was genuinely nothing transphobic about Chihiro's story and to say there was you have to prove his model was trans women and transitioning children when there is an extremely well-established category of AMAB people who present as girls in Japanese culture that is infinitely more talked about in pop culture over there. You have to insist upon the fact that he was ever connected to people who sincerely identify as girls in the first place. If this was America, it'd make more sense, but it is actually just genuinely racist to be told all that and still be like "well, but it makes me think of trans women."

This is why transradfems hate me, too. A trans woman disagreeing with them breaks their rules.

Especially the person who cannot stop fucking bypassing my block to screenshot my blog and then justifying it by claiming I do it, even though I fucking deleted those posts after she complained and have not mentioned her a single time since unless she did first.

Here's the thing: I DON'T THINK NOT WANTING TO ASSOCIATE WITH AGAB LANGUAGE IS UNREASONABLE AT ALL! But it's fucking projecting as fuck to say that people who don't like TMA/TME language must simply want to cling to AGAB. I mean, holy fuck, right? That's not what's being argued dumbass - but she can't think of any other way to divide trans people based on AGAB without referencing it in some way, so her ideal replacement is TMA/TME, that's the two kinds of trans people that exist, you're not AMAB or AFAB you're TMA or TME, this is so fucking masks off it's wild that other transradfems aren't mortified by her saying the quiet part out loud. This should just completely obliterate every trace of protest when someone points out TME is in practice exclusively used to refer to AFAB trans people and no one else ever, unless what she's actually saying is that AFAB trans people are so close to cis women that they might as well just by default be called the same thing and have no other way of identifying themselves when you talk about categories of trans people and their experiences.

But it's so intensely psychologically revealing. I don't think she's ever been misgendered a single time in her life. I don't think she's ever had even the slightest actual barrier to hop in her quest to live as a woman, because this oversensitivity where someone acknowledging transphobes see us as our assigned sex counts as them misgendering you? That's just not the behavior of someone who actually deals with these things in the real world. Or even online. Again, I get pedojacketed and threatened with actual cancelation from my actual career because I engage with actual TERFs. These people never do anything but moan about tee-em-ees misgendering them by discussing how the enemy perceives us. And she in particular is the most desperate to shut that out, because that is the only reminder there could ever possibly be a hypothetical obstacle to her claiming her girl card. I have zero doubt she lives in the queerest city on the planet and if she didn't have internet she would literally be unable to even conceive of transphobia as a concept. And she fucking hates me for not just being a trans woman who agrees with the transandrobros, but also personally identifies with my AGAB. The implication that it's possible for a trans woman to be okay with the term "male" shatters her self-esteem. That is the extent of "misgendering" she has ever faced and ever will face. Me identifying the way I do terrifies her, I have to be objectively wrong about claiming identification with my AGAB because she copes with insecurity by imagining a world where TERFs are right but instead of biology everyone's soul is either Male and Female and you can only be one or the other. Gender can't just be people figuring out who they are and the ways they want to express themselves and live their lives, that's not real enough for her, she has to be Trve Fymyle the way TERFs go on about, except instead of centering around wombs it's this weird vaguely spiritual concept that she forces everyone else to fit into because if they don't it implies her framework isn't the tangible reality she so desperately needs to feel valid.

And that's why she "needs" TMA/TME, because she reasonably wants to talk about the experiences of people who share her category but doesn't want to identify as anything that references what those experiences fucking are (e.g. having been assigned male at birth). And again, that's FINE. I GET THAT. THAT'S UNDERSTANDABLE. I CAN SEE HOW THAT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE. But that doesn't mean TMA/TME doesn't also have issues and I'm sorry if she's having a hard time coming up with something else because it's difficult to navigate the inherent paradox of wanting to associate with something that unfortunately makes her feel bad to associate with it, but she needs to pick something else, and not say "weh the TMEs are making us change our language" as though (a) transradfems aren't telling trans men what language they can use for themselves and (b) it's impossible to come up with terms that don't explicitly make claims about the experiences of others and 100% defines them by suffering less.

And isn't it strange how other transradfems are insisting they have to call themselves CAMAB and CAFAB, but THEY aren't clinging to AGAB language? Weird, right? I mean there is a group of people insistently arguing that it is simply paramount that we use AGAB language, but they're perisex trans women stealing it from intersex people so I guess it's fine?

But I don't CARE. I don't like her and I don't want to look at her stupid blog and I sure as fuck don't want to report on it. I just wish she'd stop talking about me. I literally just want her to stop block evading me and telling people my identity revolves around wanting to suck up to TERFs*. I do not talk about her except when she talks about me. AND I'M STILL NOT EVEN NAMING HER.

When she complained about me screenshotting her posts, I deleted them. They got zero notes. Her screenshots of me have hundreds and she keeps taking them because she's fucking obsessed because she can't feel like a girl if someone else identifies a little differently than she does. I don't even screenshot other people if they have me blocked but I see other people debating their takes, I make a post that references no one with unspecified prompting. And I've never done even done that with her, not only because she keeps baselessly accusing me of harassment, but because she infuriates me on a level where I just sincerely do not like seeing her fucking content in any way for any reason.

God I fucking hate radfems.

*which she happily admits to knowing is a lie but is like "yeah well I say she's mean so I'm going to keep deliberately fabricating falsehoods about her"

Thank you. <3

I have enlightened another soul!

If you asked these people, ten times out of ten they would say detransition and rape are the worst things that can possibly happen to someone and murder is no comparison, but they'll see trans men talking about their sexual abuse to be like "wow so lucky you guys just have to LARP The Handmaid's Tale, but we get KILLED."

And it's like. Okay. But fuck off, though? It's fine to personally see murder as worse and to grieve more over that, ig, it's like, whatever, but to openly state that it's a PRIVILEGE to be raped and detransitioned makes my brain melt. It's like they are physically incapable of not putting down other trans people. It is the one single area of activism they engage in. That is the war they are waging. They don't give a fuck about trans rights because they live in privileged areas with supportive families. Their battle is with the TME trans people on social media.

lolllll

"I hate how misogynistic Velvet is, she's everyone's cumrag"

^actual thing actually said and believed by the TMA/TME tankies

Before anyone accuses this anon of saying transradfems are engaging in male behavior or whatever, I'll note as I always have that they're just as sexually predatory and entitled to the bodies of others as TERFs are. That is the actual comparison being made. The worst trans women are identical to the worst cis women. Diversity win.

[cosmicconversations]

Astrology Lesson of the Week: The 8th House

Welcome back to the Astrology Lesson of the Week here on my blog. I have been going backwards through the houses, week by week, to explore each of them in-depth and help you understand them better.

This week, we are tackling the 8th House!

The 8th House is kind of like the 12th in a few ways. One of those ways is the notorious reputation it has. It is seen as the “spooky” house where all things traumatic and dark and death-related roam. I should just say one thing about that. Any astrologer who tries to predict your death or talk about you dying in any way by analyzing your 8th House is unethical. Yes, those kinds of astrologers do exist but they tend to be very “doom and gloom” to begin with. You actually can often assess the circumstances of someone’s death through the sign and/or planets in the 8th. People can pass away when there is a major transit in their 8th. But, it is not up to anyone to declare that in a reading.

Don’t get freaked out about that because it may not be your death. It could be someone else’s passing, which is not necessarily easier. Yet, no one may actually die when you have a transit through the 8th. The “death” here can be metaphorical. So, you may experience a loss in resources or status or go through intense situations that result in a personal death and rebirth of sorts. This can be jarring to those who maybe have an empty 8th House. Empty houses still affect you, especially when transits are passing through them. A strong transit through your 8th can intensify circumstances in your life and cause you to endure trials or tribulations that leave you forever changed.

However, this is business as usual for most people with planets in their 8th House. With my Venus and Lilith here, I have gone through so many cycles of transformation. The crises or confrontations that serve as a catalyst for this transformation can seem terrifying, as scary as death itself. Death has a few different meanings, as I have said, and we all have some sort of subconscious understanding of that. So, anything that is uncomfortable on an emotional level can feel like it is going to “kill” us. And people use that kind of language a lot in a metaphorical way. But, death (the literal and metaphorical kind) is really just transformation. It is all a matter of how you perceive that kind of change and how much you are capable of letting go or surrendering to face it. Pluto, the natural ruler of this house, can decimate whatever is in its path but also make way for something new to thrive.

8th House people make for survivors and resilient powerhouses. Most individuals with this chart influence know this from experience, from life throwing them into the deep end and forcing them to sink or swim. Some of them may spend much of their lives unscathed until a particularly traumatic event or time period really shakes them up. This is not the most pleasant stuff, to put it lightly. For starters, a lot of 8th House individuals have major childhood trauma and pain. I am not saying all of them. But, it is very common. Various forms of abuse or the early loss of a loved one or living in tough conditions can instill a profound inner wound. Yet, those with an occupied 8th House have the chance to become supreme healers. This healing power is shaman-like, as shamans have to endure incredible pain as an initiation before they acquire their healing abilities. Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that you deserved to have bad things happen to you. What I am saying is that you have the special ability to take those painful things and alchemize them into emotional gold: deep wisdom, insight, strength, empowerment, empathy for others, and the power to be an example of surviving the darkness.

However, there are some 8th House people who don’t answer this call. They may allow themselves to repeat the cycle that was passed down to them or ignore their emotional pain because it is too scary and overwhelming. This is when you see these people turn into the “monster” they once feared at an early age or just psychologically shut down altogether. The type of 8th House person unwilling to deeply investigate and work on themselves is going to live an empty and frustrating existence. They may not even be able to articulate what they feel so defeated by or what they are running from. But, it’s like when a child (or even adult) doesn’t want to clean their room so they keep throwing their dirty clothes in the closet. And the closet is eventually so stuffed with clothes that they don’t want to open it because it will just make a huge mess.

I always say that if you don’t deal with your issues, eventually, they will deal with you. And this is true of anyone, whether you just have a sign on your 8th House cusp or planets here. This is where we deal with our psychological issues. Well, some people do. Some people go to great lengths to avoid them. Going to therapy or doing some heavy-duty journaling is 8th House territory, as well as shadow work, in general. Whatever is in your 8th House is something that has been scarred and needs to have its pain tended to. No one goes through life totally unscathed. Even if you have a generally happy childhood, adulthood can still be full of horrors like toxic/abusive relationships or personal betrayals or grief over loved ones. As unpleasant as it is, this is the underbelly of life that we can’t ignore, even if you have the impulse to stay in denial or run away.

So, because of how intense and unnerving this house is, I have often seen people try to say that sex isn’t the domain of the 8th House and that it is truly the pleasure-filled 5th House that rules sex. Well, the truth is that they are both concerned with sex. And I feel like anyone who tries to deny the sexual element of the 8th must not have planets here. While the 5th House is simply the fun side of sex, the act is emotionally charged and complex in the 8th. This is where people “make love” instead of just screwing. It is about intimacy, not just physically getting off. No matter what their sexual lifestyle or relationship status is, 8th House individuals tend to prefer deep connection when they’re having sex. They may go through periods of casual sex but there is nothing like that true intimacy for them. Even while being more casual, they could easily get “hooked” on certain people if the connection is electric.

When there is a spiritual dimension to this, there can be an intense soul merge between the two people or even a transcendence to another plane of consciousness. Yeah, it’s that intense. There can also be deep sexual healing that takes place, either because they’re with the right person or because they are the right one for someone. Unfortunately, a lot of 8th House people have sexual trauma, too. There can be a scary and dark side to sex, as well. Being a survivor of sexual abuse or sexual assault is sadly common among those with 8th House planets. Also, it may have been a matter of being sexualized too early. 8th House people, when growing up, too often experience sexual harassment or objectification from adults or may have even been sexually involved with someone much older. Ultimately, it can all leave a scar that makes it tricky for the person to navigate and express their sexuality.

Even with an empty 8th House, this is something you could have dealt with. Sex is something that is abused or used against people, especially more vulnerable individuals, far too often in the world. In addition to that, there is also a great deal of sex-negativity in the world: judgment and shame and fear when it comes to something so natural. So, this area of the chart is also where we can learn sex-positivity and how to fully embrace our sexual side without fear or guilt. This can be the house of sexual repression or sexual liberation. People can be slut-shamed here or even feel compelled to hide any non-hetero desires. And it is also a place where we may have been taught to fear our sexual self because it was targeted or abused or activated too early. The journey of healing that shame is deeply personal and may take time. And healing never truly ends. But, in the 8th, you have the opportunity to gradually see your sexual nature as a form of power to be appreciated and embraced, not hidden away or denied.

Extended Portion of Astrology Lesson of the Week (8th House) (how this house represents our inner power and inner shadow, our relation to magic/the occult and connection to the afterlife)

[oldtvandcomics]

Queer Media Monday New Year Extra - 2023 Hall Of Infame

I was kind of supposed to do this at the end of the year, but missed the day because of Christmas, so it got postponed to New Year’s Eve. Which is a Sunday, but whatever. While I enjoy almost all the media I consume (I pick it carefully beforehand), there were three queer stories in 2023 that I just cannot recommend, but also are for one reason or the other too important to simply ignore. So, here is my 2023 Hall Of Infame. I’ll be more opinionated than usual, but let me have this, as a treat.

Loki (2021-2023)

As part of the MCU, alternate-timeline Loki escapes at the end of the 2012 movie The Avengers and gets caught up with a time-travel agency trying to keep the Multiverse in order. Notable for being the one that actually states Loki’s queerness on-screen. Well. At least his bisexuality. His genderfluidity, not as much.

This show had so. much. potential. Good actors, Disney budget, and a premise that can be taken in a million interesting directions. Unfortunately, they didn’t.

It seems like every time this show has to make a narrative choice, it takes the least interesting way. The new characters are shallow and Loki doesn’t feel like himself, probably because key parts of his backstory and personality have been simply ignored for no clear reason. Motivations aren’t established where they should be, and nothing is explored in depth. Interesting ideas, themes and concepts are brought up, just to be dropped immediately and never mentioned again. Oh, and that famous queer coming out scene? Was an offhand mention of Loki having dated men at some point. It never came up again.

This is not a good show. And not even in an interesting way, where we at least have a delightful trainwreck to analyze, but in a very boring, aggressively mediocre way. It’s nice if you want to watch something without having to care about characterization, themes or a bigger overarching story, or if you are doing what the entire fandom was doing and collectively hallucinate an entire different show. Otherwise, don’t bother. Go watch Doctor Who, Legends of Tomorrow or even Ministerio del Tiempo instead. The first two are very queer. The last one isn’t, but has great time travel bureaucracy and a cool morally gray lesbian as part of its main cast.

Le Premier Jour de Paix by Elisa Beiram

Read as part of my project to read more French books by French authors, this was sold to me with the promise of it being about living in peace and how to achieve it. Also, queer. It… Wasn’t entirely wrong?

So the blurb on the back is misleading. Aureliano is where the story starts out, but the book actually follows three stories, each on a somewhat bigger scale than the previous. Aureliano is the first, and the least important one. The second is a woman whose job is to travel around and solve smaller local conflicts, the third the lead negotiator for world peace. She is in contact with an alien, who uses neopronouns, hence the book’s classification as queer.

If you want an idea of a better future, this book is not it. It is very, very bleak, set in a world ravaged by climate change, where everyone still alive is just kind of carrying on with not much hope at all and a lot of resentment for the people in the past. There is also a discussion that can be had about aliens as queer representation and the implications of humanity needing alien intervention for the conflicts to stop. 

I must admit that the aliens were quite good, world building-wise, and that the author has clearly done research into climate change, conflicts and how to solve them, and was kind enough to include a list of sources in the back. She clearly cared a lot and did the best work she could. However, it feels like she’d been trying to write a hopeful book without being able to envision a hopeful future. 

Interesting book, and I wouldn’t recommend against it. But probably also not for it.

Fanfic (2023)

Fanfic is a Polish movie about a transgender boy coming to terms with his gender. It is a movie I very much wanted to like, because we definitely could use more Eastern European queer movies. Also, I love fanfictions as much as the next Tumblr user, and this is a subculture that definitely has not been explored enough on screen. Especially in relation to queerness, the potential is enormous.

Frankly, I don’t think the filmmakers knew here what they were talking about. They missed both the fanfiction and the trans aspects.

What the main character is writing here is not fanfiction. It is called fanfiction, but lacks the connection to fandom culture or even any recognizable source material. It appears to be about a band, or it is a band AU, and all characters are very obvious self-inserts. But like, what band?! It’s never elaborated upon. The story works well this way, but if you are going to call a movie “Fanfic”, then it does need to have some insight into actual fan culture, or it is just false advertising. As to the trans aspect, it feels strongly simplified, to the point that it seems unauthentic. I am not a trans man myself, but I have been in a difficult place at the age of the characters, and as such can say with certainty that this movie does not understand the amount of pain its protagonist is in. 

First, the transition happens very quickly. He pretty much goes from “hey, boy’s clothes, I like” to cutting off his hair binding his breasts and wanting to be called a boy within a day, with no signs of him actively questioning his gender before. As I said, I’m not trans, but based on what I’ve seen on the Internet, it definitely takes longer than this. Also, what bothers me more: This seems to magically fix all of his problems immediately. He becomes visibly confident and relaxed, has no trouble insisting on people gendering him right, and stands up for a classmate when she’s being picked on by the teacher. Coming from a character who days before was seriously depressed and drowning reality in self-insert fiction and stolen pills, no, I don’t buy it. What makes me the most upset is that one scene where a classmate calls the protagonist out for being so caught up with his own issues that he’s blind to those of other people, and it is framed as a good thing. As I said, I’ve been there. To this day, I have absolutely no idea what my classmates were doing around that time, because I was caught up in my own pain and my own need to survive and simply didn’t have any mental energy left for anything else. It sucks that Tosiek couldn’t be there for his friends, but given the pain he was in? Not his fault.

I repeat. This movie is doing its best, but clearly does not fully understand the subjects it chose.

So yeah. All three of these stories had a huge potential, and absolutely failed to live up to it. They are still worth knowing about. Loki, because it was a huge fandom phenomena, the other two, because they are stories by smaller, non-anglophone creators who clearly did their best. Eventually, they failed, but the stories could still be interesting conversation starters.

Happy New Year, everyone! Here’s to more good queer media!

Queer Media Monday is an action I started to talk about some important and/or interesting parts of our queer heritage, that people, especially young people who are only just beginning to discover the wealth of stories out there, should be aware of. Please feel free to join in on the fun and make your own posts about things you personally find important!

[inkskinned]

this is sort of pathetic, but when you were younger, you were sort of puzzled by the cartoon representations of fathers: how a kid would be outside with a mitt, waiting to play catch.

it's not that your father never played catch with you, but you also didn't like when he did. something about a hard ball coming quickly towards your face doesn't seem exciting. not that you'd ever say you don't trust him. you trust him, right?

it's not like he never tried to teach you anything. or never tried to parent. on rare days, a strange person would walk in your father's skin. bright, happy, magnificent. this version of your father was so cheerful and charismatic that you would do anything to keep him. and this is the version of your father that would laugh and gently coax you try again. this is the version of your father that would break down the small elements of a problem and point them out so you have an easier time with them.

as a kid, those days happened more often. but somewhere around 11, you started being too much of a person, and he was often cross about it. when he'd try to sit you down to learn something, you spent the whole time with your shoulders around your ears, nervous, uncertain. terrified because you didn't immediately understand how to navigate something. worried you will run out of his goodwill and then you will have the Other Father back, and you will have ruined a good day for your entire family. something about you being visibly afraid - it just made him angry. he would accuse you of not wanting to learn and storm away.

on tv, it's not like there's a lot of versions of men-who-are-mostly-fathers. they can be good dads, but usually their stories are not told in the household. so it's normal that your father is there, but he's never around. you know he was in the house, somewhere, it's just not that you guys ever... "hung out". he just seemed to get kind of bored of you, annoyed you weren't made in his perfect image. frustrated with how much energy it took to raise a kid. over time, you kind of adopt a bittersweet band around your throat - he knows nothing about me. he says at least i never abandoned my family.

and it's technically - technically - true. he was there for you. sometimes he even made an effort and made it to the big moments; the graduations and the dance recitals. he grins and tells everyone that he taught you. it almost erases the days in between, where he complains because you need a ride to school. the weeks that go by where he doesn't actually ever speak to you. the times you say i am struggling and he says figure it out on your own. i can't help you.

and that's fine! that's all fine. you can call him if you are having a problem with your car. or if you need a ride to the hospital. he loves playing hero, he just doesn't like the actual work that comes with being a father. and you've kind of made your peace with that; because you had to, because you don't want to live your life like he does; the whole world at a managed distance, a little rotating and controlled orb he can witness and take credit for but never truly love.

as an adult, you are rewatching some dumb cartoon - and again, the child standing in the rain, with a mitt, waiting for their father to come play catch. as an adult, there's this strange creeping dread - this little thing? this little thing, and their dad can't even show up for that? oh god, holyshit, it's not about the mitt, is it. oh god, holyshit, your father spent most of your life leaving you hanging.

[chill-vibes-but-rainbow-panic]

I love characters not being able to tell they're being deceived by a shapeshifter!

Love the audience not being able to tell they're being deceived by a shapeshifter!!!

[necrotic-nephilim]

If you want to be bothered. Maybe this for dick and Bruce???

i ALWAYS want to be bothered these are always the highlight of my day tbh you're a delight for letting me just yap <3

Dick. For the canon isn't real square I am Specifically talking about the Tom Taylor Nightwing run. Usually I ignore bad runs but given this one is ongoing (though about to end THANK GOD and get replaced by Dan Watters who i have high hopes for since i adored his Sword of Azrael (2022) run but i digress) so I counted it. Especially since it's so debated if that run is bad or not, for some reason. I'm a 90s Nightwing truther. I love Dick so dearly and tbh recently I've been more enamored with him the more I read his Discowing era, I didn't used to be as big of a Dick stan as I am these days.

Bruce. Honestly where do you even start with Bruce. I want to fist fight him and also patch him up. He got me into comics and superheroes as a whole but I roll my eyes whenever he shows up in a story. He's a bastard and usually not a good father but also complex and should be dissected under a magnifying glass. I love him dearly. He's also just the worst. I think that's why I love him. I'm always a fan of unabashedly Complicated Asshole Bruce who's generally not always the best person, particularly not to the Batfamily and that being the driving force of his relationships with them, especially in shipping.

And for bonus points, Tim. Because know above all else, I'm a Tim Drake kinnie /deg. He's been my number one for a decade and I've yet to uproot him from my brain. He's literally the Worst half the time and I love him for it. And the canon isn't real refers to Tim Drake: Robin because... that sure was a comic. And that's about all I can say about it. Pre-Flashpoint Tim I miss you so dearly. I think it's fun that I want to put him in a blender and drink the juice but also want Nothing Ever to happen to him.

[crownedwille]

.

[noah-price]

@pscentral​ event 26: minimalism

SILICON VALLEY (2014 - 2019) TOP 10 RATED EPISODES ON IMDB insp (1, 2)

[jrueships]

im going into my new work tomorrow, first time ever😐

[envolvenuances]

and I think child modelling should be illegal I'm not even joking

[sophfandoms53]

PLS HE’S SO SICK OF BBTWITTER LMAO

[requiemforthestars]

Being back in the Dragon Age fandom has awakened something long asleep within me, which is a seething deep, feral hatred and disgust for Cullen and dismay at the way everyone in the fandom is head over heels for him. Literally it's as fresh as it was on the first day. Truly, things you feel at 15 years old do not wane.