#but like. in a lot of ways i've been abandoned first bc things are just not safe for me to participate in yk??

[thehallstara]

i gotta say. it is getting so damn hard as a disabled trans+queer jew with a shitty immune system to not feel completely overwhelmed w/ sadness and dread at every moment i'm sure a lot of yall feel the same but like man. idk how any of us are dealing with it at this point

[tavina-writes]

I have been pondering the recent rash of "post canon NHS and LXC would never ever reconcile bc even if NHS wanted to have Er-ge back, LXC would never ever forgive him for [insert reason of choice here]" type of posts + the "do you think NHS thinks very hard about how much Da-ge would hate him for becoming [the way that he is now] by choosing to seek vengeance" type of posts, and I think fundamentally the reason these posts do not jive with me is that we have no indication, in the show or in the book that uh, NHS gives a shit about either of these things very much anymore?

The first type of post is predicated on the assumption that LXC's forgiveness or lack thereof some some sort of either extension of mercy (which NHS obviously does not deserve <- or so assumes the post) or some form of punishment (which is obviously the correct answer) but the last scene we get with NHS both in the book and the show make no indication that this is a thing he wants? Or cares about? Book NHS has *sauntered off* with his little hat trophy and Show NHS walks off screen after saying something along the lines of "What is my responsibility I won't shirk, what isn't my responsibility I won't care about." Now, arguably, show NHS is having a worse go of it emotionally, but shows no real inclination or interest in either apologies or making up and being friends again with LWJ, LXC, WWX, or other people. Book NHS seems pretty pleased with the outcome of the events as a whole?

The second type of post is predicated on the fact that NHS finds Da-ge's judgement a horrible burden to bear at this stage in the game, which! He might! But again especially in the book we get no indication that he has any fucks left to give about what Da-ge may or may not have wanted since Da-ge is dead. In both the show and the book, NHS went about revenge taking very specific and complicated actions with the desired result of JGY dying, but he certainly took the scenic route getting there, which, he didn't need to? As I've written about before, JGY didn't see him as a threat. If he wanted JGY dead he could've arranged to poison JGY's tea like, 10 years ago and had done with it instead of his complicated Rube Goldberg life ruining scheme. If he is still sickly anxious about how Da-ge might feel about the scheming and the trouble causing and the whole everything, that's certainly possible, but he must've decided it was worth it anyway regardless of that, and I don't know that it necessarily would've changed just because he got what he wanted at the end.

Overall, I think as a fandom we think a lot about like "will and should this relationship ever be repaired or similar to how it used to be?" and "does this character deserve/not deserve the forgiveness of people they've hurt or abandoned?" which can be interesting questions! I do feel like these are often taken as "is a character morally good (deserves to be forgiven) or morally bad (deserves to rot in hell forever never forgiven ever ever)" and based entirely on if Character is the meta writer's blorbo. Under this paradigm the concept of "Character did bad things to get exactly what they wanted and were happy about that and no relationships were ever repaired and the emotional detachment of people they used to care about no longer matters to them!" is uncomfortable.

It's just that for NHS I've increasingly come to the conclusion that canonically, I don't think NHS thinks he has anything to apologize for, nor is he super interested in being forgiven! He got what he wanted the way he wanted it to happen. Which is potentially supremely unsatisfying but I think is very sexy as a narrative concept.

[lemonisntreal]

Some sketches because it's been months since I drew these idiots oops☝️🥰

HI THERE. It's been a minute, sorry about that lol. I took a tiny out-of-nowhere and sorta involuntary break from the fandom because I lost interest for a second, but I'm slowlyyyy making my way back. With art, and some news about Tone Deaf for the people who are still wondering about that.

Also I see there's some asks in my box, I'll get to that eventually, I see you ;-; dw

--------------------

As stated, I momentarily lost a bit of interest with this movie- partially because I've recently been ensnared in a new fixation that will not be named right now, but yeah. I'm digging my heels in rn, because the last thing I wanna do is abandon this project. But, also, I've clearly bitten off more than I can chew with this being a comic lmao. In over my head and going through all 5 stages of grief and currently on acceptance.

The story got bigger. Like, a LOT bigger. Too big to capture every thought in a drawing and panel it and put it out as a perfectly polished comic without seriously burning myself out. It really doesn't help that my art style evolves by the second too apparently, so I've reached a middle-ground:

Tone Deaf is going to be a fic with some comic-like segments in it. An illustrated fanfic bc I still love showing and not telling a little too much.

This'll help me not only get stuff out faster, but also to help me fill in the gaps I didn't know how to draw with just text. So I can focus on just drawing the juicy shit. This also means it'll all be collected over on Ao3 in a neat little package, and I honestly prefer that over having a bunch of posts of pages that might be hard to find. So yeah, that's the plan.

Another bonus is that the frames can now be a lot more polished and nice looking [in glorious color] rather than hastily mashed together due to my bad habit of going overboard on singular frames without realizing it.

--------------------

Tldr; Tone Deaf is technically still gonna be a comic, it's just now gonna be supplemented with word-based fic mixed in because I made the project way too fucking big [the first Act has like 20 chapters I'm going to literally die]. Also it's gonna be on Ao3 and I'll probably be posting all the art here alongside any updates I make so huzzah! Help me :>

[luluy33art]

I was thinking here about 2 things from Chloe Guardian AU that kind of have to do with each other

1 - When Master Fu gives the position of guardian of the box to Marinette, would he also forget about Chloe?

2 - In this AU, instead of telling Alya that she is Ladybug, would she tell Chloe? If so, how would Chloe react in this situation?

Oh no, spoilers.

1. Fu will not give it to Marinette, but to Chloe. And yes, he will forget her

2. Related to the first answer it would be very difficult for Marinette to tell Chloe, so she will probably still tell Alya

In the Canon, it is Marinette's fault that Hawkmoth caught the Guardian, because she had not destransformed before looking for him.

So you can imagine THE ANGST that Chloé will have to go through when she finds out that it is bc of her crush that she was left without a family.

She is abandoned (again)

She still has the kwamis but they can't be together all the time (they have to stay hidden)

Also, in the eyes of society, Chloe is an orphan. Fu has no legal adoption papers. Chloe couldn't force an amnesiac old man to take care of, what would now be, a stranger to him.

So she lets him go with Marianne (His gf in case you don't remember)

Now the question is, who will she stay with? Chloe is still a minor, she needs an adult to take care of her.

At this point in the story, Chloe already knows that André is her biological father but she did not agree to go with him (she realized that he only wants to take advantage of her and consolidate his reputation, adding "family man" and inventing some excuse to explain why she had never been mentioned before like that she was studying abroad or some $hit like that) Besides, she already had a REAL family.

But now she's forced to accept him, she has no choice.

This makes her get super cold with Ladybug now (she doesn't know that she is Marinette)

That would add more salt to the wound, which is why Marinette doesn't tell her. Her oldest friend doing something like that?? It would hurt. A lot. She knows that she is being selfish and a coward. The one who is suffering the most is Chloe, she feels very guilty and some time goes by, but in the end she tells her.

Needless to say, Chloe feels betrayed. Her best friend... It feels like she's been stabbed in the back. She is furious and leaves before she can do anything she regrets later, Marinette tries to stop her but Chloe just screams not to touch her, without even looking her.

She walks into her... new stay (she refuses to call it home) the biggest, most luxurious room she's ever seen but also the coldest, loneliest and lifeless.

Wayzz tries to calm her down, saying that it was an accident, that Marinette didn't want to do it. Chloe just says she knows, only seeing in her hands the last thing her grandpa Fu left her.

A letter.

The letter says that he already knew that one day he would have to leave her alone, but as it is written, he did not think it would be so soon. He wrote the letter wondering if she's already done with her training or school or if she found that special someone.

It seems that the recipient of the letter was a 20-year-old Chloe or at least a Chloe who has already come of age

Fate didn't want it that way, she's 13

It takes several weeks before she has the courage to visit Fu, he looks so... happy, he's painting a picture and she approaches him. He notices her and smiles at her, they chat a little, most of them trivial.

And then Fu says "I feel like I've known you for a long time, have we met before?" Chloé opens her eyes wide for a moment but then smiles, tears threatening to come out. She says "I have the same feeling" and they don't touch the topic anymore.

When Chloe returns, she reconciles with Marinette

[viloxity]

I thought of something more fanciful, like for example, a reader girl almost a baby who entered a dungeon forgotten by everyone and there she found Jinwoo, in my delusions he can transform into a kind of chimera dragon (You know with a human body even the torso and the dragon torso hahaha) At first Jinwoo doesn't pay attention to this girl, but she keeps coming to see him, so Jinwoo tells her that if anything she doesn't have anything better to do in this abandoned world.

She tells him "I don't have parents, nor a family, much less does anyone care about my existence... Are you like that too, sir?" And although she only sees her human half hidden in the shadows, she does not see her dragon half (Let's be clear that obviously Jinwoo can transform at will but for me he is a bit lazy for that hahaha. Returning to the topic, she frequents him a lot and he He lets her be, bored more than anything since he doesn't bother leaving his territory, he usually listens to this girl's ramblings and over time he takes a liking to her (although he doesn't say it openly) Then on another day he tells her that Why don't you just stop coming to see him? If you know it's dangerous, but she doesn't care and responds with another question: "Why don't you ever let me see you? I only see your eyes, which are beautiful and changing."

Jinwoo would sigh and would take a while to respond with "Humans don't understand my existence, much less would you, but you're strange... maybe one day I'll let you see me in full."

And everything would stay there but with the passage of time she stops being a girl and at some point she is a teenager, at this point she is the only one who knows this eternal and forgotten dungeon (not so much because she is the only one who remembers and always goes to see him) In the end Jinwoo is seen for the first time when she tells him that she may not come to see him anymore because the way here is dangerous for a civilian, although he is bothered by that and blames the few police in the place.

Laughing without grace, Jinwoo finally agrees to show himself after years in darkness, she would be surprised but she would only tell him how great she looks and that would be enough to make him sigh at how strange she is but not make him love her less. Neither of them knew that Jin-Woo would become obsessed with her when she gradually stopped visiting him because she was busy in her adult life trying to survive in the remains of humanity, which would upset him and make him go out for the first time (I forgot to say it). but it's a strange AU hahaha, it occurred to me, Jinwoo is also a shadow monarch, obviously his physical form is different)

I hope you liked my delusions, anyway, thanks for reading! Another fellow novice fanfic writer greets you (Cough! I've been writing for 7 years, I'm sorry! Hahaha)

MY FIRST ASK WOOHOO!!! and an amazing one at that, I really love your mind! I wanted to wait until I got the second part out but I don’t wanna ignore this since it’s passionate and lovely so here I goooo

exploring AUs involving Jinwoo is great bc there’s soooo much to do with him—especially bc of his power as a shadow monarch. It’s one of the reasons why I decided to do a ‘bad ending’ story in relation to the main story; like what if jinwoo did not want to side with humanity? it’s like the same idea here except he’s a more neutral figure and is unbothered by the world around him, therefore he plays no hand in it…. Except you come barreling into his life. It’ll start a domino effect the moment you speak to him, which he might realize later but it’s too late then. Perhaps he might do subtle things that display his dragon like nature—hoarding—and humanity. If he has a hoard of sorts, he would give you gifts from his prized possession. Normally, he would be angered at the idea of some pathetic lowly human touching his treasure but he feels warm at the idea of providing you with something he cherishes. You would initially protest—probably because it looked expensive—but his growls that nearly ripped the cave apart would zip your lips immediately. Your departure that day would be filled with immense amounts of ‘thank yous’ and he would just give you a begrudging ‘yeah, whatever; get out of my sight.’

After some visits, and when you say the final visit will be your last, there is a new feeling that bristles within him. The way that his claws get sharper, his teeth begin to bare, and his expression contorts confused him—never before in his mundane life did he act in such a way. It was different, deviant, and new—a sensation that excited him more than anything. He would recognize, then, in his own little world how he gave you a comfortable little place in it—a place that is always, always by his side. If he was quick enough, hearing your footsteps echo as you trekked down the mountain, he would give chase whether that be through his dragon form or his shadows. If you had already left as he sorted his thoughts, he would fly to your village himself and find you. You were a priority now; someone who deserved everything and he knew he would be the one to give you the world. No matter the cost, he would have you, and he would keep you.

I hope this did your story justice? Thank you for sharing !!

[foxgirlbeans]

A Ninja's Guide to Eorzea: Part 1

I'm currently working on my relic weapon for ninja, and that means I'm suffering I'm going into a lot of dungeons solo as a ninja. And it got me thinking about stealth. Rogues and ninjas have a Hide feature that, aside from a few job quests, usually goes completely overlooked. you can usually run from any overworld enemies, dungeons mean you have to hang out with at least two people who can't hide from enemies, and you can't even try to hide from dungeon bosses.

So the ninja sadly doesn't get many opportunities to live out the classic ninja fantasy of striking from the shadows. But by soloing a dungeon at a higher level, you can sneak from boss room to boss room for the same effect. And since I'm going through so many dungeons right now, I thought I'd write down my thoughts on how well each one lets you live out that fantasy.

1. Sastasha

This is the dungeon I'll be comparing all others to. not just because it's the first, but it's one of the best. stealing a glance at the pirate's password and breaking into their base both happen in relatively secluded areas, so you can ignore all enemies right up until the first boss.

Thing get a little hairier when you first meet the pirates, mostly because their guard dogs can see through your sneaking. Which makes a lot of sense when you think about it, right? They live right next door to the bloody Rogues Guild, obviously they'd have ways of dealing with rogues.

This only really adds one extra fight to the list- the second dog and his master are mandatory to grab a key, and the third is in a wide open area that gives you space to avoid it. if you remember it's there, unlike me.

This dungeon is the quintessential "breaking into a base" fantasy, and it plays that part beautifully with realistic threats to keep you on your toes. also it's pirates vs. ninjas which was a big to-do during the lolsorandom years.

I'm also giving it bonus points bc despite having dogs that can spot you, you can open multiple doors without the door guards ever catching wise.

look at them. morons. A+

2. The Tam-Tara Deepcroft

I'm not going to lie, this one's 100% bias speaking. The sneaking works fine, and you can get to bosses completely unmolested, it's just... almost every "boss" here is just some random guy. it doesn't really strike the right chord like Sastasha did. I'll give it a C+/B-, it's sneakable, but it doesn't feel like a ninja.

3. Copperbell Mines

This one's got plot coupons stuck in enemies up the wazoo, so it's definitely not sneaky. On top of that, the dust bunnies in this place all have tremorsense, so you can't sneak past them, and every part of the dungeon is a narrow walkway so you can't even sneak past the old fashioned way.

If that wasn't bad enough, there's multiple moments where hecatoncheirs appear out of walls, instantly breaking your stealth and forcing you into a fight. Sneaking does get you past the worst of the final room, but by then it's too little, too late. D

3. Halatali

Not gonna lie, I 100% thought this one would turn out like Copperbell Mines when I first thought about it. I've never been happier to be wrong though!

The first and third parts of the dungeon are predictably not an issue whatsoever, you sneak past the trash mobs and fight the boss, no problem. The middle portion is where things get spicy- you see, there's several winches in the area you have to pull to open the door at the end, but pulling them breaks your stealth. Further complicating things, pulling each winch has a chance to drop a monster on your head, which I just spent two paragraphs complaining about!

However, because these winches only get pulled when you want them to be, it feels more like you're disarming a trap than anything else. Waiting for the crowd of monsters around you to wander off, setting off booby traps, and dealing with the consequences actually makes the whole experience very fun. Exploring an abandoned ruin definitely falls more on the rogue side of things than ninja, but it was fun enough that I'll let it slide. B+

4. The Thousand Maws of Toto-Rak

Hard F. You have to defeat every monster in an area before you move on, so hiding here actively slows down your progress when you have to u-turn and hunt down whatever you snuck past in the first place.

5. Haukke Manor

Another dungeon that surprised me with out sneakable it is. All of the manor's keys are either located in a boss you have to kill anyway, or on the ground. this means you can sneak into rooms, nab the key from right under the monsters' noses, and sneak back out leaving them none the wiser. Adding in the patrolling succubi that just so happen to give you just enough time to grab certain keys and hide again before they turn around gives a stealth game vibe to the whole experience like in Halatali. Plus you're sneaking into a mansion to kill a corrupt noble, which is a totally ninja thing to do! Another solid B+

6. Brayflox's Longstop

I was surprised to learn Colibri can see through ninja invisibility, but I guess that explains why Captain Madison had one. The starting room has a couple you pretty much have to fight, but aside from that it doesn't do anything special. It also doesn't really fit the ninja vibe what with you fighting random wildlife, but it has fewer filler bosses and fighting a dragon is always cool, so. B-.

[pinkblahaj]

rick riordan's female characters pt 1: annabeth

this year i reread pjo and hoo for the first time since finishing the series five years ago, and i now understand the (somewhat?) common opinion that the way he wrote female characters was definitely flawed in some ways. although, i don't completely agree with all the criticisms, and i still love the majority of his characters. because i have so many thoughts on annabeth, i'll make this post just about her and discuss other characters later.

i'm certainly not one of those avid annabeth haters, but i do think there are valid reasons to not like her- I think there are valid reasons to not like any character. for me, there are moments where she is a bit too arrogant or mean. but i don't think she should have been written with an entirely different personality either- it makes sense why she is the way she is, and all the characters are flawed in their own ways, which is what makes them relatable. i just don't relate to annabeth like i do to the characters i like more.

i see how some ppl dislike the dynamic between percy and annabeth, but i feel like a lot of those issues are just a product of their time. the judo-flipping scene in mark of athena has been made to be way bigger of a deal than it is. it was not annabeth "abusing" percy- it's more akin to play wrestling. but... i do agree that moments like this would be clearly unacceptable if annabeth were a boy (which, i know, those "if the roles were reversed" type discussions sometimes are used to weaponize the suffering of men in order to diminsh women's issues, and i am not trying to do that here). it unfortunately does make sense when you think about the whole anti-femininity trend that used to be so common, and existed in rick's books as well (ex: aphrodite's children). annabeth is supposed to be tough and scary, not soft and weak. but we should also keep in mind that every relationship's boundaries our different- annabeth might joke about percy being dumb, but it's obvious that doesn't bother him and he likes the nickname "seaweed brain".

annabeth's treatment of rachel in botl seems to be a dividing topic, and i can see both sides. i honestly was quite bothered by it when i reread botl, and i find it strange that some ppl will hate on percy on this book while not criticizing annabeth. but honestly that's probably because i'm a sensitive person. some ppl find it funny, which is probably how it was supposed to come across. it was probably just as obvious to rachel as it was to us readers that annabeth was only being mean out of her fear of losing percy... and rachel did indeed like percy. but i do wish that we would've seen someone call her out or see her apologize, and while her abandonment issues are an explanation for her behavior, they are not an excuse. but again, it's safe to assume that rachel was not that affected by it, and being a teenager who is rude to someone bc they like the same guy as you is not the worst thing a person can do. (i do think it's interesting how this situation is brought up more frequently than leo bullying frank, which actually did hurt frank.)

contrary to what i've seen other ppl say, i actually really liked annabeth in heroes of olympus. i thought her povs were great, and i loved to see her interact with the new characters, especially piper. i also found her more likable (ik some think she was too perfect, but i loved seeing her as a competent leader). the scene with frank and the finger trap was so cute and because i love and relate to frank, i will forever appreciate her for that. however she was def underutilized- outsmarting arachne by attacking her pride made sense because of arachne's backstory, but that strategy became overused (the way she defeated nyx was kind of ridiculous). and of course, who doesn't love the percabeth scenes- sure they were obsessed with each other, but that makes sense. they just met the rest of the seven, ofc they're not going to care about their new friends to the extend that they do for each other (side note: i don't disagree that seven felt like "co-workers", but i don't see a problem with it either).

leah was a perfect choice for the tv show adaptation. i honestly could not care less that she's not blonde and white. yes, the acting could be a bit better, but they're young and i've seen worse acting from older actors. what i do have an issue with is how annabeth was written in the show. i feel like the writers read that she's the brains of the group and she's serious and forgot that she's also a twelve year old girl. annabeth is a great character because she is strong, smart and skilled, but still flawed, realistic and relatable. i wish the show delved into other parts of her character, such as her love for architecture, the scene with the spiders, and her relationship with luke- this last one especially is such an important part they missed out on, because it's a huge source of her vulnerability in the books. i'm completely fine with them cutting out her crush on him, but the fact that she looks up to him and sees him as family is so central to why she can't accept that he's betrayed her. her believing that there is still good left in luke is also key to how they defeat kronos with luke's help. show luke says that annabeth is like his little sister, but without us actually seeing this relationship, it's going to be hard to understand in later seasons why annabeth defends him.

overall, annabeth is a great character and deserving of her popularity, but i don't think that if you dislike her you hate complex female characters. while she's not my favorite, i see her as a testament to both rick's ability to write good female characters and some of his shortcomings in this area.

[kamiko1234]

Alright just got to chapter ten of The Lightning Thief and I have more thoughts.

So, first off : I stay firmly rooted in my opinion that Luke is great. I love him, I bet his hugs are great. He and Percy have a cool brotherly sort of friendship going on. Ngl ? Percy and Luke found family sounds GREAT to me. God knows that poor boy (Percy) could use someone like him (Luke) to look after him. (Sadly with Percy going off with Annabeth and Grover now it seems we'll see less of him, which is a crime imo. Give me my wholesome older bro character. Hope dies last tho, so I'll just hope I can get more of him over the course of the book and the rest of the series !) But also, the hint with his quest ? Naw that backstory is going to be SAD, my poor baby. I will cry over him. I may have only known him for a few chapters but damn, he's my favorite. Offical favorite. Like he deserves for radiating the biggest Teedy bear, Big Bro, Green Flag vibes in the entier series besides our beloved MC Percy. Second off, uh- the gods are sort of dicks ? Like, you are telling me that Poseidon was just A-okay with abandoning Percy for all his life and ONLY claimed him bc he needed him ???? Not cool ! But also, the implications of this ???? And the fact that apparently Percy is being send out on a quest at- what ? 12 ? 13 ? That is NOT safe, and the gods are apparently fine with it too ?????? Not to MENTION what happened with that Thalia girl !? Honestly, the fact that Zeus broke that sacred oath first did not surprise me, but also Hades wtf ?????? That's an innocent kid ! She isn't at fault here you idiot. That entier sittuation is some A+ child neglect and endangerment aswell as what I gotta assume attempted murder, someone call CPS on those guys or I will do it myself. What a bunch of a-holes. On a third note, so the prophecy said that Percy would be betrayed by a friend. Which means I gotta scrap my previous suspicions of Clarisse or any Ares kid, they and Percy are NOT friends. My next best guess would be Annabeth. She's the next best friend of Percy, and she's on the quest with him which would give us good opportunities. She DID seem weirdly enthusiastic to go on a live threatening quest.

Not to mention that Annabeth is a child of Athena, and it was stated that she (Athena) has a rivalry with Poseidon going on. Maybe Athena's in on the plot to steal the Master Bolt and frame Poseidon due to a grudge from that, and Annabeth as her kid acts on her behalf.

But also, she's like- the only one I can reasonably imagine doing it. Besides here Percy has like, two other friends. Grover and Luke. Grover is the ultimate dork, but also has more than enough motives to specifically STAY loyal. Besides the obvious thing of getting his license, he's been Percy's oldest friend at that point. he cares for him. As for Luke, I just don't think he's the type to do that, yk ? As far as I've seen the guy is nothing but caring, he teached Percy and welcomed him ! Even going out of his way to train him when the other campers were avoiding him after he'd been claimed. Why would Luke do that if he'd just betray him at the end ? He's seemingly being written out of the book for now too, when should he get the chance to betray Percy ? (He did have that one weird line about looking evil that one time which confused me a bit ???? Ngl imma just assume he has a cool badass side, like the cool badass dude he is. Did I say that I really like Luke already ?) My fourth point : the line in the prophecy saying Percy'll fail to save what's most important will be him failing to save his Mom from the underworld. Hades' is built up to be the big bad, and he rules the underworld where Percy's mom is currently in. He cares a whole lot about her and Percy did think about saving her already. And last but not least, I think Annabeth betraying Percy will lead to him not being able to save his Mom. I'd imagine it'd go like this : Percy, Annabeth and Grover go to the underworld to get the Master Bolt from Hades (which I assume is the big bad) and to save Percy's mom. They manage to get the Master Bolt, and are about to save Percy's mom when Annabeth reveals herself and betrays them. Causing Percy and Grover to be unable to get Sally. And that was all ! PS: OMG OK I JUST STARTED WITH CHAPTER 10 AND I NEEDED TO GET THIS OUT WITHOUT WAITING FOR THE NEXT POST. I FUCKING LOVE LUKE, buddy sprinted up there so say goodbey AND he handed Percy those sneakers ?

Naw I'm convinced of my theory now. No WAY Luke could ever be a bad guy ! Why go through all that trouble just to betray Percy in the end ? But also, found family sense are going strong in me rn. Greenest Flag if I have ever seen one. BUT ALSO HE GIVES HEADPATS ? AKJFHQILUWEZBDIL I do still think he has some issues going on tho, poor lad. I hope he get's therapy and a good hug. he deserves it.

[tigertofu]

ok i've been chipping away at this Thing for a long time and i think it's finally ready to be vomitted out into the internet. without further ado, here is my

Stupid-Long List of Trevor Headcanons

divided into chronological sections !

((the NSFW shit is hiding at the bottom))

CW's for: mentions of drugs/alcohol, addiction, cannibalism, violence, gross sex stuff. typical Trevor things

and heres a gif of him cuz ig thats the tumblr thing to do idk i never made one of these lists b4 :x

the past

• he's a scorpio and the reason he has a scorpion tat on his hand is bc he's like. very mildly into horoscopes. he was born some time in november

• he doesn't have a middle name cuz his mom didn't give enough of a shit to give him one

• despite playing hockey and golf as a kid, he was never really that into the sports themselves. he only did hockey because he saw it as a way to beat up other children and not get reprimanded for it, and he did both in the hopes of being good enough at something to earn his mother's praise for once (it did not work :()

• hates his dad bc of how he treated his mom and is glad he abandoned him at that shopping mall when he was a kid

• he (w/ Brad's help) would play "pranks" on (aka BULLY) poor Lester during the north yankton days. some fav pastimes included (but were not limited to): pantsing him, hiding his walking cane, and replacing his asthma medication with laughing gas

• was highkey jealous of how easy Michael could get girls during the north yankton days. when he actually was able to convince a girl to come back home with him, he would make sure to be loud as hell about it so that Mike would know he wasn't the only one getting chicks

• all of his hand tats and a lot of his other tats were done in prison, even tho he was only in for like 6 months

• prison was a mixed bag for him. on one hand, anal. on the other, having to restrain himself from arguments and physical altercations so he could get out early on good behavior

• went thru a breakdancing phase in the 90's (i THINK this one might be canon. idk. could've sworn i've heard him try to tell Lamar this in an attempt to impress him. pls feel free to prove me wrong or right)

• one of the scars on his eyebrows is actually the result of getting a fresh eyebrow piercing ripped tf out during a barfight in the 00's. prob for the best that it was cuz we all know that shit wouldve ended up getting infected and rejecting out of his face anyways

• he moved to Sandy Shores not just because it's nice and isolated, but because it was the place most opposite of north yankton he could think of. never any snow. he absolutely fucking hates cold weather and snow because it reminds him of a certain bank heist that happened in '04

• between Ron, Chef, and Wade, Chef was the first one he met after moving to Sandy Shores. they used to cook meth together in a trailer out in the desert (another one that i THINK is canon but im not sure idk. it all blurs together, idk whats canon and whats not anymore, my brain is too rotted from spinning Trevor around in it like the world's most dried out little shriveled husk of a rotisserie chicken for the past three years, the fog is coming, yk how it is)

• he acquired Liquor Ace the same way he "acquired" the Vanilla Unicorn. the previous owner just mysteriously disappeared one day. nobody in Sandy Shores cared tho once word got around that the new owner was gonna start cooking crystal in the upstairs and selling it

• yk how in the game he said that his heart momentarily stopped once cuz he put an axe thru a power cable? he did that cuz the power had gone out in the middle of him watching an Impotent Rage episode he hadn't seen yet. for some reason (was prob very high and very angry) he thought that he could bring the power back by hitting the sparking wire with an axe. it didnt work. he smelled like overcooked bacon for a week afterwards. he enjoyed that part tho

the present

• he makes Ron cut his hair with a pair of rusty kitchen scissors when he needs a trim. he used to go to the nice barber lady in Sandy Shores but got banned after loudly moaning about how good her nails felt on his scalp once

• once smoked an entire cigarette in one long inhale. Wade witnessed this and found it extremely impressive

• he'll eat pretty much anything but he especially likes foods with strong flavors. salty, sour, super sweet, spicy, etc cuz his taste buds are SHOT from the years of smoking/drug abuse. he abuses condiments, especially hot sauce

• thinks that any restaurant that doesn't have a drive-thru is a "fancy" restaurant

• LOVES candy cuz the meth has given him a major sweet tooth, but prefers anything with chocolate over fruity/gummy candies

• has a weird fascination with eating raw meat.....of any kind. except for sushi. he thinks sushi is "fancy prissy city people food"

• also has a weird fascination with making stews/soups similar to the eyelid one that he tries to feed Michael in that one cutscene. it's the only type of food he knows how to cook. may be a comfort thing for him because microwaving a bowl of canned soup was the most effort his mother ever put into making a meal for him when he was a kid. and she did it like, twice, maybe. he for sure remembers both times very clearly tho and considers them to be some of his fondest memories

• will go for days without eating anything solid before finally sitting down and consuming enough food to feed a family of 5. sometimes he just like. forgets that eating is necessary for survival

• can open beer bottles with his teeth. between that and the meth habit, its an absolute miracle he still has all his teeth

• go-to pizza order is a large meat lover's. he tries to make vaguely sexual passes about "loving large meat" at the poor pizza delivery guys every time he orders delivery. does not tip, but will say shit like "hey, if you come inside i've got a little tip for ya" while the delivery guy quickly vacates the premises

• honestly? i think there is a good 50/50 chance on whether or not he is ACTUALLY a cannibal. maybe he posters as one cuz he likes the reactions it incites, maybe he genuinely enjoys the psychosexual intimacy of consuming the flesh of another human being........ who knows !! not knowing is half the fun :)

• ok ok hear me out u know that stupid tiktok sound that was going around a couple years ago that goes "hi my name is carmen winstead -- HAAAAAHHHGGCHH" ??? look it up if u don't cuz that's what his snoring sounds like. the fucking "HAAAAAHHHGGCHH"

• once he's asleep he is out like a fucking light. guy could sleep thru nuclear war

• is not opposed to drinking hand sanitizer when out of other sources of alcohol. it tastes just like the shitty moonshine Ron makes in his backyard anyways and gets him even drunker so why not !

• hates horror films bc they make him angry. at least, any of the ones where somebody survives at the end. thinks the murderers in them are stupid. starts yelling shit at the TV like "HE'S GETTING AWAY YOU STUPID FUCK,, WHAT ARE YOU DOING !!!!"

• believes baby pink and orange are "his colors"

• will sit on his sofa or bed and try to shoot any cockroaches scurrying around his place with a pistol for funsies when bored sometimes

• enjoys playing darts at the Yellow Jack with anyone who'll play him but absolutely fucking sucks at it cuz of his shaky hands. accidentally threw a dart into another bar patron's head once. will rage and insist his opponent cheated when he loses. will then get physical if anyone tries to tell him its impossible to cheat at darts. is much less of a sore loser when playing with Mike, Frank, or Lamar tho he will still grumble about losing for up to hours on end afterwards

• is an illegal immigrant bc he never became a US citizen. does not own an actual ID, but has several fakes lying around, all with fake birth dates and fake names that are wildly varying levels of believable

• will absolutely flip his fucking lid if Wade comes around him while wearing Juggalo face paint

• speaking of Wade. yk how he has a shitty tattoo of his own name on his arm? (at least i think he does. i tried looking to see if he does and i couldnt tell so now im unsure if thats just yet another detail that my brain completely made up or smth that i actually saw). ANYWAYS, Trevor gave it to him (stick n poke. it was a longggg process but Wade didnt mind too much cuz he was high at the time and consented to it beforehands anyways) when Trevor first "took him in" cuz he kept forgetting his name and got tired of referring to him as "Hey, you" (which Wade did not respond to most of the time anyways)

• is an ugly crier. like, a butt-ugly crier. snot, drooling, wailing, red face, the whole nine yards and he is loud as hell about it too

• loves back rubs cuz ofc he does he's an old man. often makes Ron or Wade give him massages

• his boomer-ass super-zoomed-in LifeInvader profile pic was taken by Ron. it took them a dozen tries before they got it

nsfw

• he sucks at eating out.........kinda? but what he lacks in precision and consistency he makes up for with sheer (sloppy. slobbery) passion. and endurance. can stay down there (and will, if you let him) for hours

• is not much better at blowing. "accidentally" uses too much teeth every time

• ~4 inches. MAYBE 4.5. good girth tho. not cut

• has a thing for chubby/thicc ppl

• is a biter and won't ask before biting so uhh watch out ! part of the reason for the above is bc there's more to bite

• loooooves loves loves to suck on things. fingers, necks, tits, dicks, anything. also looooooves having it reciprocated. particularly likes shoving his fingers in your mouth

• loves to involve mouths as much as possible. spitting/being spat on, the aforementioned biting as well as being bitten, eating food off of your body or having food eaten off of him, the type of makeout sessions that involve shoving each other's tongues down each other's throats.. anything that involves mouths and/or the motions of eating drives him fucking wild

• will beg you even when not explicitly told to when he's not feeling dominant. will beg and beg and beg and beg and it's hot but can also quickly become incredibly annoying

• but he LOVES to be annoying on purpose too. via the begging, or by teasing/edging, mocking, etc. loves to get a rise out of you and loves the attention (even if negative.. ESPECIALLY if negative) it gets him

• occasionally cries after sex. will expect you to hold him while he does. will start to angry cry and say you don't actually love him if you refuse

• now ik this one is nothing groundbreaking and seems to already be the general consensus amongst the Trevor enjoyers but im gonna say it anyways. he def has a thing for public/semi-public sex. be careful about sitting next to him while in any public space. he WILL try to touch on you and it WILL be in a way that makes it obvious to everyone in the immediate vicinity what's going on. does he do it on purpose as an exhibition thing? maybe...... does he genuinely think he's being slick about it? also maybe. if ur with him, expect to be banned from multiple establishments

• lowkey has a breeding kink in the sense that he loves to finish inside (not just bc it feels nice but also bc of the intimacy of it) and thinks that pregnant women are hot as hell

• is most likely infertile due to the years of meth use tho

• loves to both overstimulate and be overstimulated. just bc you've both climaxed doesnt mean he wont keep going for god-knows-how-long

..................andd that's all she (i) wrote. ty for reading !! i've got more shit to say about Trevor cuz ofc i do but this is already like 2k words so if u wanna hear my headcanons on anything specific at all,, pls do throw it in my ask box ! <33

[hvllowheart]

hi! regarding your last post about abandoning projects, do you have any advice for overcoming that?

I do!

1. Write something you're passionate about.

Now, I get that everyone constantly says that, and you'll think, "that tells me absolutely nothing" bc passion can only get you so far and usually fluctuates a lot. It's something I've started to realize happens to me. One day I wake up and have a new idea I love and think "wow this is gonna be a piece of cake to finish" despite me knowing it's going to entail a lot of planning and once I get the inital idea out of the way and get to that planning stage my attention for the project... dies.

What I mean with that is to write something you're passionate about is that you shouldn't write something into the project you feel like others will like. Or if it's a project with tropes in it, that you have to follow those to the T.

If an idea is boring, don't write it.

If you have a cool idea that might not fit the vibe entirely, write it down. Keep it in mind for later when it could fit the vibe better.

Incorporate as many things you love as you like and then worry about how the broader plot can shape around them.

2. Don't write in order of what's supposed to happen.

I know it'll make you feel better to feel like you have a clear point A to B but truth is, some parts are going to be extremely boring to write. You won't want to write all about the logistics of a scene happening right that moment or the spicy dialogue that carries the scene bc you're way more focused on another detail that drew you to write a particular scene.

In those cases, I usually just put whatever is supposed to happen in brackets [insert car chase here] and move on the bits I'm excited to get to. You might wake up a couple of days later thinking you want to revisit that car chase scene and write it all in one go now that you've stopped obsessing over a different scene you cared for before.

3. Make the experience more fun for yourself.

If you feel like you're burning out and losing steam from writing and planning the project, take a step back and do something else.

If I still feel like doing something with the project that isn't necessarily write it, I tend to end up making edits or a playlist or looking for inspiration pictures that might give me an idea of a new setting or what a character will look like. And that's what usually keeps my brain working and thinking about the plot.

As soon as another idea pops into my head bc of the space I took not writing the projects itself, I write it down and get reinspired to work on it.

4. Look for inspiration.

As mentioned in 3., I can't recommend enough to look for inspiration in pictures or boards on pinterest or a song or a quote you really love. Trust me, seeing a cool picture or reading a quote that immediately makes you think of a specific character makes you itch to get back to writing.

It also allows your writing to grow when you take the time to look for inspiration. Writing everything in one go might make you feel productive but the quality could potentially decline the longer you're at it and when you come back to it you'll ask yourself what the hell you were on writing some of the stuff. So taking that time, finding new locations/side characters/some dialogue snippets you could incorporate, will make you feel excited to actually see those ideas and inspirations become part of your project.

5. Take breaks.

This is another one of those things you always hear and think, "that's what leads me to abandon it in the first place??" and while I agree (been there) It's also important not to get burned out by the project.

The breaks shouldn't span entire weeks, of course, but don't beat yourself up when you can't get to the project for a couple of days bc of life happening or something else being more interesting.

Taking those breaks ensures you not only build anticipation, but it also let's the project breathe and allows you the space, to again, think of the broader plot or a specific scene that could be cool to incorporate.

6. Find someone to talk about the project with.

In our day and age, we're lucky to have such big writer communities. Chances are, someone out there will get aboslute brain rot from the project you're working on. Talking to people like that will not only allow you to have someone to bounce ideas off of, but it'll also keep you focused and in a way, hold you accountable to actually see it get to a point you can and want to share more.

Starting up a WIP blog, like the one I and many others have, or a writerblr blog will attract people to the idea and have them reach out to ask questions that again keep you thinking about fun parts of the project and develope the idea.

I have a friend I constantly talk to about every idea he and I get. Not all of them ever see the light of day, but we talk about them, send ideas we think could be cool, and write small snippets of scenes bc we are excited about the project. That not only gets you to a starting point, but also makes the planning way smoother and means you're getting instant feedback.

And that's what usually gets you to write more instead of watching your project collect dust in the drafts.

7. Write every single idea down.

This is also something everyone says, but it's true. Chances are, you forget the idea and kick yourself for it later or you think it won't be as good as you imagine it and then you have a missing scene you don't know what to do with where that idea could have fit.

Sometimes, usually just before bed for me, I get ideas, and since I have my phone close by, I just open the notes app, write down the snippet of a conversation I just thought of or a cool detail I'll add when I get back to the file and BOOM I have the next plot point figured out without actively forcing myself to sit in front of the computer and thinking "what is supposed to happen now??"

Even if the idea is silly or seems wack, I can't recommend writing it down enough. You'll thank yourself for it and in a way train yourself into passively thinking about what could happen next.

I have a dedicated page in my files just for random ideas I got in the middle of the night and while some will not make it into the draft itself, it's still fun to think about them or even write a short scene involving the idea just to see where it goes. Maybe it'll inspire you to take your project into a new exciting direction, too!

8. Don't obsess over word counts/progress made.

It's a recent shift I've noticed, where people obsessively focus on how long a scene/chapter is. Like one being 5k long means it's somehow better than a scene that's only a couple hundred words long, but concise and has the kind of structure that keeps you engaged.

If you feel like a scene is done and you're happy with it, even if it's short, leave it. Maybe you'll come back to it and add more, but maybe you'll realize it's perfect the way it is and doesn't need unnecessary details added.

9. Don't get lost in the details.

This is something I've neen prone to do. Obsessing over a single detail or scene to the point that working on it becomes exhausting because I couldn't move on.

It's what kills your drive to write on the project fairly quickly and relates to the point I made to just put whatever is supposed to happen in brackets to revisit later.

The details are usually what make the story feel personalized, but it's also so easy to get lost in them. Writing the broader scene down and revisiting it sometime later to add those details is going to keep you writing and engaged with what you want to make the project into.

10. It's YOUR project, don't forget that.

Sometimes I've started things I thought were fics or stories I'd love to explore only to realize I'm not the best writer for those or that the writing part just isn't as fun as I hoped it could be.

You need to be aware of when to cut your losses. If the project starts to feel more like a drag than what you initially started with, scrap it OR, and this is something I've started to seriously do, is to rewrite/re-plot it from the beginning.

It is time-consuming, but you'll feel better for it in the long run if you take the bits you like and forget the ones you don't and build the project anew. It's tedious but really rewarding once you manage to get to the parts that were there before discouraging you from finishing the project in the first place. And the most important thing is that you're happy with your project.

♡

Of course, what works for me might not work for others, but those are some of the broader things I can recommend you try :) I hope I was able to help a little!

[johnslittlespoon]

also little (ok not so little. at all) personal thing as a way of mass–apologizing in advance to friends/moots for being slow with replies/not super interactive for a bit (possibly? always hard to predict) but pls god feel free to ignore this <3

i hate talking ab not–fun personal stuff on here (if it's not hidden deep in tags LOL), but i feel so so guilty for being so slow at replying to messages here/on discord and i would never want any friends to feel ignored or like i'm not enthusiastic to chat bc i genuinely have the most fun yapping together in the wota server and it's been such a joy making more friends here and getting closer with some ppl 🥺 it's just eating me up even tho ik i don't have to apologize/explain myself and i'd never hold it against someone else if the roles were flipped!! it's just to put my mind at ease so i can feel less guilt/pressure :')) and i am Uncomfortable talking about bleh emotions so it's easier to just plop it here and not have to explain myself one on one lmaoo tbf i may delete this in a few hrs bc just typing this up might give my brain some relief anyway and then i won't feel like this is necessary!

but sam lore the quick of it is i have # bipolar and i've been in an originally manic, then hypomanic episode essentially since around the time i started this account? it's the longest 'up' episode i've had but it's also the first one i've been off bp meds for so that might be why (long story dw i see my dr monthly <3 sorting life out rn) and i think starting stimulants back in may prolonged it a bit bc yk. meth LMAO but it finally petered off a few weeks ago and now i am entering the Big D (and not the fun kind) so some days i just do not have any energy for anything other than survival mode and when i'm suddenly super chatty or active, 99% of the time it's bc i just took my adhd meds and downed an iced coffee lmaoo genuinely so grateful i have those meds to keep me from fully sinking deep into a bad episode for now at least. so tldr; not trying to be antisocial or ignore anyone, just tryina truck thru :-)

i'm so thankful for all the cool ass friends i've met thru mota and i have been rly scared since i felt myself swinging to the other side of the bp spectrum last month bc i've been very up since i joined tumblr and i don't want a sudden change in vibes to be taken personally or for it to seem like i've lost interest in fandom!! i also get scared i'll just be dull and boring to friends now who have only known me while i'm manic which is understandable bc it's a big switch up but i think over text it shouldn't be as jarring bc yk i have time to think ab my words more and all. i am a little surprised actually that if anything, my motivation for writing has only intensified in the past month, but i think it's the first time i've had a healthy form of escapism in an episode and my brain has definitely latched onto it to get me thru that and a lot of shit stuff that's been happening irl this summer, so i'm unbelievably thankful that this fandom dragged me back into fic writing as hard as it did <3

but as sometimes happens with depression as i'm sure most of us have experienced, motivation/energy loss can hit even our biggest passions and i'm Terrified and hoping so very hard that it doesn't, but if fic updates do abruptly slow down as i ride this episode out, that's likely the reason. can't see myself losing interest in mota anytime soon but ik that if someone's usual writing pace suddenly slows down, ppl often jump to that conclusion (myself included lol) and i just want to make it clear i will Not be abandoning my fics and as of now, i'm still plowing ahead on all of them. AND THAT'S ALL FR BACK TO MY GOOGLE DOCS fuck do i think this is a journal?? jesus christ my bad

[transhawks]

saw a post of yours from awhile back wondering if horikoshi has read frankenstein & i’ve been waiting for someone to bring this up bc dabi is frankenstein’s monster. there’s the obvious evidence like how he’s drawn in tribute poses from the movies & he’s got stitches yknow. but also the whole thing with fire? in the original novel it wasn’t “grr fire bad” it was the monster learning that fire could hurt him but could also be used as a tool which he comes to appreciate. not to mention the monster’s main character motivation being he’s going on an angry rampage bc his creator (in this case endeavor) rejected & abandoned him bc he was a “failure”. the parallels are there you have got to believe me

So I've been a "Frankenstein, and I do mean the book not the movies, influenced BNHA" truther for years. I think what should be debated is whether Horikoshi read the original or not, and how much Ito's 2018 adaptation influenced the manga. I personally think if not the book, what he did read was Junji Ito's adaptation of it. Apparently Ito's manga is a very faithful adaption, which means a lot of the really amazing lines Shelley wrote and themes are in there, and I personally think they fit it better than the Universal Pictures attempt at Frankenstein, which was kind of a "low-brow" adaptation of Shelley's work. Horikoshi has long been a Junji Ito fan - our first panel of Tomura at USJ is an Ito homage, and I've spoken at length about how Hawks's mother is another shoutout to the great master of Horror manga, being named for one of his most popular characters.

So, yeah, I think you can see the influence pretty clearly. I have a franken!dabi one-shot somewhere because I felt the influence way back when I got into this manga years ago, and I think it still holds up. I'm just not sure if we can say he hasn't read the original even outside this adaptation, because as far as I know, it's a fairly popular book in Japan as well and the first Japanese translation came out in 1953. Anyway, this is making me feel guilty about not working on my league meta where I essentially partition the entire meta with Frankenstein quotes.... Have one last Frankenstein panel with a parallel.

[isa-ghost]

Ok so I've seen you do phil + techno and phil + cranboo, time to complete the syndicate and ask for phil and niki! c!niki or q!niki, i don't mind :D

Oh god oh fuck I didn't see enough Niki on either SMP *explodes*

EDIT: Just kidding, apparently I have plenty of material for c!Niki.

qPhil headcanons masterlist

He KNOWS she was done dirty. He's familiar with that anger and bitterness she tried so hard to hide for so long, he's been there. He was more than happy to have her in the Syndicate so she could do something proactive with all that pent up emotion.

They had a lot of conversations just one on one where he tried to ask her more about his son and what was going on before his arrival. She seemed close-ish to the L'Manbergians (he didn't realize at first that she had BEEN one), could she give him ANY context, any closure at all?

He told her about the letters he got and asked how true they were. She was PISSED reading some of them, which he took as "I was lied to." It didn't surprise him, but it did reopen that wound.

They had a chat or two about Ghostbur. They both fucking hated him. Wearing the face and using the voice of someone they cared for so deeply, who hurt them so badly, but wasn't anything like him.

Sometimes he thinks about her being a lynx hybrid and giggles to himself bc it makes sense she'd be hanging out with dudes that live in the tundra.

He wishes he had the chance to help her further lush up her cave. Rose would've gone absolutely feral in there and he bets talking to her would've done Niki a lot of good. Granted, at the time, he was very private about having affiliations with otherworldly deities. This is something he wishes he did in hindsight.

Fuck Revivedbur that extra bed on the second floor was for Niki and he told her she could stay with them any time she wanted since she didn't have a house by the rest of the Syndicate. He didn't want her to abandon her place but the offer was always there in an effort to make sure she felt included and cared for, since her previous group affiliation did little to ensure that.

He is SO SAD he didn't get to try anything from her bakery and on at least one occasion he begged her to make a new and better one so he could try her baking. When he heard she eventually started baking again, he was elated.

He had mixed emotions about her being hellbent on going after Tommy, but overall he just. Didn't get involved. Wasn't his business. He didn't have anything against Tommy and he loved Niki, but he wasn't about to tangle with whatever they had going on. Didn't want to damage or break either bond.

He DID think, when it was described to him as "some Team Rocket bullshit" by someone, that Niki and Jack's attempts were kinda funny in a fucked up way.

When she told him the story of how she stood before Manberg with no one to protect her (you know the iconic picture I'm talking abt I'm sure), Phil was SO PROUD. That was one of the things that made him sure she belonged in the Syndicate.

When he heard that she burned that one tree, his jaw dropped and he laughed. He isn't sure if it was out of shock or amusement or something else, but it's all he could think to do.

Honestly sometimes he considered asking her if she'd like to just. Talk things out. Communicate with people. Get herself closure more directly instead of through what they had been doing. It's not exactly his style, but the fact that he came to this realm because of poor communication from his son had him unable to help but think someone deserved some clear fucking answers for once.

He was more than happy to spar with her and help her sharpen her combat skills. She picked up on things he taught her very fast, and in typical Phil fashion, he always downplayed himself when she'd call him a great teacher.

Post-DSMP he still thinks about her sometimes. He hopes she's happier now, less plagued by bitterness and in a place she can confidently call her own, with no government or "stronger" group of people to breathe down her neck or threaten her. Because we don't have confirmation afaik that c!Niki & q!Niki are the same, I'll say q!Niki just reminds Phil of a happier, lighter c!Niki.

[puppypuppypuppypuppy]

How did your human spam and jevil meet?

OK. This took a while I had to scour the underground cave system of me and yashas dms to find all the relevant convos and such. I'll put them under a readmore bc. Yeah.

Also, the moment of first contact as depicted by the magnificent @naggingatlas

So, surrounding info: The au takes place in Hometown ofc. Eugene, after being released from jail (no murder here just manslaughter. he does tell ppl it was murder tho) has lived there for maybe like, 5 or 6 years (seam pulled some strings (hehe) to get him the place and peaced tf out) He's since been living as a hermit in the forest in this decrepit spooky house. He was once a prolific poet/philosopher/whatever and ig kind of still is? but he has a complicated relationship with his old work and resents how misinterpreted its been by the majority of his fans. His only real friend is dess. He's also a ukrainian immigrant, came to the us before the collapse of the soviet union. No desire to go back bc he had no attachments...

Meanwhile Esteban's deal is much more similar to canon... was once a big shot, the powers that be abandon him, he loses everything, now he's homeless, so it goes. He was once in a super bowl commercial with spuds mackenzie and is VERY proud of that fact, don't bring it up. At this point, h'ed been living in the streets of new york freakin city, too proud to go back home (el paso, texas, second generation mexican immigrant), getting by taking shady gigs and reselling garbage, scrap, old electronics, etc... One such gig being what brings him into hometown thus beginning our au. I've got some screencaps abt the gist of it all

(these are so funny bc some aspects of it get immediately retconned. also the reason I say he finds eugene familar is because they've technically "met" before multiple times in their lives just very informally. might go into that later idk)

(Here is where yashas images above the cut take place ^^)

(his door knocker is shaped like a dragon btw. very cool.)

(We wrote more of this encounter but frankly it's incomprehensible and this post is getting way too long just know that they're engaged in spamvil typical psychic warfare.) (it's like this.)

And thaaaat's basically it. Some details prone to change but overall this is how their first official meeting goes. Esteban comes by every day trying to sell shit but other things happen too like they go fishing, sit in a dusty abandoned car, smoke weed, eat cherries... .. ., lot's of fun stuff. Maybe I'll even make another post abt it if there's interest.

If you've read all of that have this in consolidation:

[zxal]

do you have any characterization tips for skuld/subject x. asking for a friend

INHALES REALLY HARD. skuld is a leader. it makes perfect sense that she was chosen by ava. she keeps a level head and acts as a support for the others when things get dire. I get the impression that she plays things off as not a big deal even if it really bothers her, like when player first meets her and she tells them about how she used to be friends with ephemer but then he abandoned her and she's like "i used to be really upset about it but now i'm over it :)" girl (shaking her) you can be mad ITS OK. skuld cares a lot about doing things the "right way" ("they're rules. of course they're set in stone.") but also has a strong sense of right & wrong and sometimes that comes into conflict (doesn't want to agree to shift pride even though it's in the rules bc she doesn't like the idea of keyblade wielders fighting each other). she carries a lot of weight on her shoulders even before she becomes a union leader ("i can't just sit back and wait for the end to come") and feels responsible for the rest of the dandelions (telling elrena to go to the real world because the union leaders are the ones responsible for daybreak town's destruction). she keeps it together until it's the very end & she's literally lost all hope ("i'm glad i don't have to face the end alone") and even then she is still TRYING to keep it together. no one is allowed to see her fall apart. not even ephemer. especially not ephemer

meanwhile a lot of my interpretation of subject x is informed by the fact that it's been 10 years for her and she still doesnt remember anything and what must that be like - but she remembers the boys who used to visit her & even though we don't get to see much of subject x's perspective I think she has the potential to be just as obsessive and self-destructive about them as isa is about her. i think if subject x knew isa & lea were in danger there would be no survivors. but she doesn't so she's like "i wonder if they remember me :(" while isa is sacrificing himself over and over and over and over for her sake the whole time. subject x is skuld with the limiters removed. do you know what i mean. i've been trying to divorce my thoughts about subject x from my thoughts about skuld JUST IN CASE the worst case scenario (subject x not being skuld) comes true ... they will always be the same in my heart but i think it still really works to interpret them as two distinct characters, especially considering subject x still doesn't remember anything (& aren't we familiar with the question of are you the same person without your memories?) - you can have a really fun time playing with the idea of her having a fractured sense of self I think. ANYWAY. EXHALES. She's my girl she's everything to me she has so many problems she is never ever ever going to talk about

[narrativelysignificantturtleduck]

okay so i just stumbled upon your blog and the first thing i saw was the pianjeong tag.

i have to ask.

do you ship piandao and jeong jeong??? do other people ship piandao and jeong jeong ???? is pianjeong a thing, and if so, WHY ?????

i'm truly baffled but i want to be enlightened

(i know you sent this a while ago sorry, took me some time to figure out how to respond and gather all the links to fic)

yes, yes, and yes, though of course it's a pretty niche thing since it's about minor characters.

as to why - imo it stems from the fact that if you want to ship either of them with someone, the other is the most obvious choice. around the same age, fellow white lotus member, fellow ex-fire nation military, easy to interpret as gay. like no, they don't have any canon interaction, but it's easy to imagine that they've interacted offscreen.

for my part, i got into it in 2020 when my friend abby @afaramir came up with it while writing earth system history, a zukka fic with piandao as zuko's gay professor. when trying to find a character to be his husband, she landed on jeong jeong, and then decided to go explore that dynamic with spark from a flame and we said forever (but forever wouldn't wait for us). i'd always liked both characters - i'm a sokka fan so of COURSE i like piandao, and i thought jeong jeong was fascinatingly tormented - so i was drawn in.

i think i'm still into it so many years later bc the storyline and characterizations established back then are legitimately really good. there's kind of a pianjeong "canon" to me:

they meet as young men in the fire nation military. young piandao is desperate to prove himself worthy (backstory from an old nickelodeon lore site says his parents abandoned him as a kid for being a nonbender) meanwhile young jeong jeong is a firebending prodigy (from that same lore site) vaguely uncomfortable with the status & privilege that grants him. they both crave what the other has

piandao brings a sword to a fire fight and wins. they both find the experience exhilarating - piandao is thrilled to be defeating a powerful firebender, and jeong jeong is thrilled to have someone stand up to him (spark from a flame, an old phenomenon)

they start a relationship of sorts, kept secret bc of the homophobia in the military (army dreamers)

jeong jeong deserts, leaving piandao behind (we said forever)

piandao eventually leaves the military too, traveling the world and learning the truth of the war (beyond your darkness)

they both independently end up in the white lotus

piandao offers jeong jeong a place to stay at his mansion after the war and they reconnect. it's been so long and so much has changed and jeong jeong definitely isn't in the right mental place to be in a relationship but slowly, he gets better and they get close again (i'm your light, ghosts, diary of the deserter)

like, is this kinda just two OCs in atlaverse? probably. but i think another reason i've been into it so long is that it allows me to engage with atla without always having to deal with the broader fandom discourses that frustrate me. i think atla is a pretty good show so the way fandom tends to want to change or ignore canon doesn't really appeal to me. i'd rather just play around in the universe! also i started writing a lot of pianjeong fic in 2020-2021 and tend to be a slow writer so i'm still working on it, and that keeps my interest alive.

so yeah. feel free to join us in old man yaoi if you like :)