It's my birthday soon and I have honestly been contemplating to block my entire family everywhere. I kinda don't want them to wish me a happy birthday when all they did was ignore me for the past six months.
Lowkey expecting them to forget to reach out anyways.
I haven't been posting here as much cause. Idk. Might be depression? I keep thinking its cause I've been so busy, which also wouldn't be not untrue, but these past, like, 3 weeks I think so far? I've had some free time but I haven't cause. I dunno, then again, I haven't been doing too much in general? I gues, besides very mandatory things, hell I've even been lacking in my regular skyrim hours of playing.
That, and as said, I get super melancholic when I remember just how sad and bittersweet it is that t0h is. Actually legit over. The show and experience, that is.
Oh all that and also becuz my headphones broke! Fuck! That's like number 2 in my bare necessities for when I post, do almost anything really! It's seriously been painful this past month going without headphones holy shit. Dude I've been scratching at the bit for some relief for headphones, I NEED music legitimately. Even right now, as I'm typing this on my phone, my music is on low levels.
But yerp. Its been. Rough. Really rough. I really do appreciate yall, everyone of yall. Have a sweet week everyone, ✌️!
I didn't set out to make something so angsty or abstract for Kokichi's bday, but one thing led to another (and by "one thing" I mostly mean "huge mistakes") and this is what I ended up with. I swear I'll try to draw something cute/cheerful for him one of these days cuz my boy deserves all the happiness in the world <333
Little meme thing I did with Freyr, Heimdall, and Eira (Irma too technically)
I love Freyr- he's basically Eira's annoying ass cousin she was stuck seeing at family events (mostly cuz she was freya's handmaiden when she used to reside in vanaheim)
Adding the panels below (no text cuz I'm lazy)
Also it's my bday I came into the world 2day teehee 🤭🤭🤭
katniss loves peppermint and chocolate together. I’m getting this by her always snaking on peppermint leaves when she is at the woods and her living hot chocolate. therefore, the combination of mint and chocolate would seem very in her favourite
Effie has albinism. She constantly changes out her wigs and hair dies her hair. She is described as outlandish hair, and with all the different fanarts, her skin is very pale skin , eyes are pale as well and eyebrows are always does. Often called outlandish- I image her being something that is very different and noticeable amongst the reason, in the best possible way
Gales family is all freakishly tall. Hazelle is likely to be average height for a women, but his father is the cause of all their heights, where I image he is like 6’5. Rory would be smth like 6’0, Vick would be the tallest at 6’4 (cuz he is the most like Gale) n posy would be a very comfortable being 5’8ish (cuz she is a lot like her mummy). I also think Gale looks a lot like Hazelle, but has strong features like his father. He was a mommas boy when a little kid. But rlly deeply loved his father, especially as he allowed Gale to free and express himself
Finnick has high-functioning anxiety and Annie has complexPTSD. finnick, when alone, can almost be unfuntional and fearful of himself. Concerned for other ppls safety and the effects of president snow. Annie has certain triggers from the hunger games. She is mostly functional and stable for the greater parts, however, involvement in and surrounding the games is painful for her. She desperate avoids the reapings and similar events. However, she will try is she can. Like using psychotherapy to calm equally anxious tributes n alleviate themselves (like she would w finnick).
Johanna is a raging bisexual- w a preference for girls. She initially became friends first w Annie, cuz she is a lot like her little brother. And then came close w Finnick too. Them two form the ‘ the protect Annalise (Annie) Cresta club’ and all hang out together when they would.
I have 2 theories about finnicks upbringing:
1. Finnick has a single father n was an only child too. Seeing from his victory of the games, it comes across less as a career act more as a a child who works w spear fishing. His father must of been a spear fisherman and/or catcher. This also was how he died too. Finnicks father would have disappeared/ died at the sea from a fishing accident n Snow saying it was circumstantial but all know it wasn’t.
2. Finnick was an orphan. He lost his family (parents and older sister) in a fishing accident young, like 9 and ended up in the orphanage. He learn to become charismatic to increase his chances of adoption, I think. I think this is also how he became close w Mags. She didn’t have any children, but would often visit orphanage n would treat them like her own children. Finnick caught her eye n they began to get increasingly closer. This family relationship only deepened when she ‘adopted’ his after his victory, calling him her ‘beautiful boy’ and ‘darling child’. My reason? They said in cf (don’t quote me though) that finnicks only ‘family is mags n Annie’
Peeta loves French toast. Cuz his family would have to eat stale bread, French toast would be a ✨ fancier way ✨ of reviving/ prolonging older breads loaves. He wouldn’t have this often to eat I imagine, but he would get if it was a bday treat n/or special treat for smth (like not being reaped or that). As an adult, he has it more often n katniss makes it for him every saturday to give him a little happiness
so lets see, ill start off apologizing for being dead- exam season is around the corner and the only good thing about that will be that i will no longer have to teach or design papers- so i can probably draw a bit again, hopefully at least- so i WILL get back to the requests yall have sent me i promise uwu💕
tho bad news comes in the form of my school principles and viceprinciples bullying me because im a newbie, saying im not good at my job and putting their shortcomings as my fault because who wouldnt like to blame someone else for something they werent able to do- and i feel like the abuse im taking in this toxic environment is convincing me slowly to quit my job and start risking less stable jobs even if it means being my daddies little house girl again for a while. 🙄 at the very least even if im leaching off my parents i still actually HAVE somewhat decent parents and thats not something alot of people could say and im greatful for that.
the audacity was well shown when the principle went on the teachers meeting and was like "some of the teachers here who i will not name dont know how to do their job-" and then told me that i only got my job cuz my dad is rich [which yeah sure my daddy studied 4 years of uni and then credited me sure mmhmm makes sense.] and honestly i feel like im surrounded by 50 year old toddlers-
overall, learning to adult is difficult and im glad some people are helping me figure out how to put together a resume and apply for jobs and all that.... but i guess the next bad news comes in the form of us leaving for russia. i dont hate seeing other countries but having my life uprooted immediately after work ends and summer starts and selling off the car and putting stuff in boxes and yeeting ourselves via plane to live somewhere else for the next 4 years in pure isolation is not something my mental health is gonna be haha about. esp since im gonna have to talk to my therapist and doctor to give me enough meds for me to be able to search for another doctor while im there to give me similar treatment. ughhhhhhh.
overall i feel like i have reached a lovely level of ✨️no longer giving a shit about existance✨️ and thanks to some friends i was convinced juuuuust enough to reconsider ending myself :) in my defense, google was getting annoying for only bringing up hotlines =_=
my eyes cant see well anymore due to constant crying and emotional numbness has taken over me, so i apologize if i may seem out of it or a lil blunt at times when im talking lol i no longer have the energy to PRETEND and hold a mask to seem SOCIALLY appropriate and in this last month of school im gonna be making it everyone elses problem at school.
but other than that im looking forward for school ending so i could just sleep for a while without waking up BEFORE my alarms at 5am.
ok lets see what else uhh... my bday is on 19th and i pray to lord nobody makes a surprise party for me here, the anxiety of being in crowds is already kicking me in the ass im not ready to pretend to have a social battery ugh.
KINDA. BIG A3 DUMP? 😭😭 a collection of doodles from like this past month wwwww. mostly kazu cuz!! BDAY MONTH IG?
SKYPAUL CUZ. THEY ALWAYS EATIN MY BRAIN + floral prince cause mankai stage and I actually read it!!! + sky pirates floral prince crossover + kazu roles + some card redraw ideas from friends + late night kazu doodle!!! 😔 when I say he’s my muse I do not lie fam
grace blood-gulch's s14 episode ranking list because i am so special and have lots of thoughts on every episode ever :)
Tier 1 - legitimately good quality content i recommend viewing
Room Zero - as someone who was personally Waiting those multiple years to see that rvb animated episode be finished i was so excited by this one. also i just love the animation + attention to character details in the og one. even though it doesnt really add much to that original base, newer fans should watch it to appreciate the animation cuz its cute. especially fond of every character detail moment like church running backward and using his hand to slide or the earliest iteration of grif being canonically animated as fat. idk i love it a lot and i think its p cute and well worth the watch. it's also the first episodically which is neat. good opener for s14.
The Brick Gulch Chronicles - look its stop motion lego and its cute as fuuuuuuck. the plot being sarges bday is adorable. literally awesome.
Fight the Good Fight - okay i just find it cute and quirky and generally enjoyed watching it quite a bit :) it made me laugh. the [Red] team gag was good. it reminded me of the similar gag from the simpsons in the kamp krusty episode. my dad always makes jokes about that specific gag so ahh. definitely worth the watch but understandable to skip.
Caboose's Guide to Making Friends - its just really fucking cute idfk
Head Cannon - This one's just really funny and also adds on to a scene that already was fun in a good way. Enjoyable. Highly recommended.
Get Bent - I wish sarge was still an old woman but dykenut and church bisexuality balances it out. i also wish we had female tucker. it makes me sad we didnt get female tucker.
Red vs. Blue the Musical - The reds' song is about weapons and the blues' song is about church killing himself. 10/10. no notes. perfect summation of rvb in like 10 minutes.
Mr. Red vs Mr. Blue - genuinely delightful like a distilled everything i like about tucker. he's really fun here. also sister is fun here.
The Triplets & The "Mission" - The triplets own hard. the scene with wash connie and south at the end always makes me smile. ohio girl youre fucking crazy but youre everything. I love you.
Tier 2 - Decent content. You can skip but still somewhat worth ur time.
From Stumbled Beginnings and Why They're Here - Mostly fun. Asterisk mostly. There's an episode between these two that's technically an episode trilogy you should skip. Otherwise is pretty fun.
The #1 Movie in the Galaxy: 3 - This is silly and fun. I enjoyed it. It's also short.
Meta vs Carolina: Dawn of Awesome - look man its a death battle. if you like death battle youll have fun. if you hate death battle you can skip it. shoutout sarge deadbeat dad implications though. i cant even be mad its just not the character id expect them to do that to...
Grey vs Gray - i found it fun :) nothing stand out tho. skippable but not egregiously bad.
Immersion: The Warthog Flip - Look if you Like seeing science stuff yeah its a good watch. if you dont like that you can skip it. I like the math and science though. you don't lose anything in skipping though.
Tier 3 - Meh
Orange is the New Red & Invaders from Another Mother - theyre not bad but aged... poorly. i thought they were funny when i was younger but i watched funhaus actively then. i dont know how this would fare to a non-FH fan. Desert Dance [Spins]
Red vs. Blue vs. Roosterteeth - I KNOWWWWW THERES A LOT OF NOSTALGIA its just .... not very funny. its creators meeting their characters but its also odd in a strange way. you can watch it if youre curious enough. i liked the end voice over of s14 a lot tho so like maybe watch it and if youre bored skip to the end lol
Tier 4 - Drink a lot or watch with friends to experience enjoyment
Club, Call, & Consequences - look man the only way youre enjoying this is if you are a hardcore lolix guy or you are wasted out of your mindddd. im sorry who the fuck is siris. i honest to god thought siris was a bit as a joke on the whole thing of "grif simmons and hammer" from earlier. they never even mention siris again. who the fuck is siris. i felt like i was like lied to or something . sorry siris is so fucking funny. well he didnt have a personality but thats ok. i dont know if he actually exists.
RvB Throwdown - Get Miles Luna out of the booth. never let him rap again.
Tier 5 - Bad. Skip it.
Fifty Shades of Red - Fifty Shades of Red has possibly one of the worst jokes in the series that immediately assassinates Tucker into a pretty fucking awful light and retroactively ruins his character for the preceding 13 seasons. I honestly recommend skipping Fifty Shades of Red to avoid that one tucker joke. its not necessary and contributes nothing. The rest of the episode is fine and on the level of stumbled beginnings & why theyre here. but god that one joke is so bad i can't in good faith recommend it. it just leaves me fuming LOL i could write an essay as it being the origin point of post s13 writers room tucker hate where they start trying to make him an irredeemable asshole & dont understand his whole deal for the rest of the series.