#but my tendencies are toward pessimism

[blurred-cat]

allowing myself a shred of optimism as a lil treat

[pedgito]

𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐒𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐃𝐘 — two: first to lose | Joel Miller x reader

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chapter summary | Left to your own devices in the cabin with Joel, you lean toward other means of entertainment and a game over food leads to more than you're expecting.

author's note | beta'd by my lovely jo (@jolapeno) who i originally undertook this idea with. it has been really hard to focus lately, but i am itching to work away at my wips and this one has been sitting around for a while unedited. we're in a rut right now, but powering through.

chapter warnings | 18+, early outbreak, age gap (early 20s, mid 30s), morally grey!joel with trust issues, tommy is buffer, sex games, fingering, oral (m receiving), mentions of hunting and animals, joel is only softer when he's exhausted, they're both sore losers jsyk (more to come on that)

word count —4.2k

SERIES MASTERLIST, PLAYLIST, AO3

“There’s more out there,” Tommy says over your canned dinner, huddled around the fire in the living room as Joel stuffed his mouth full of beans, his conscious distance from you not going unnoticed. You were less layered, more comfortable, stripped down to your jeans and a tank top, your socks stuffed into the boots placed beside the couch, “I think another trip tonight and we’ll be good for at least a month, it’ll give us time to plan.”

“For?” You question, taking the last bite from your bowl before shoving it aside.

“Gotta find a QZ,” Tommy offers in response, “can’t survive like this forever.”

Joel seems less than hopeful, his eyes flickering away from the conversation and toward the fire. And Tommy, oblivious to the events that had transpired in his absence, doesn't address his brother’s pessimism. He’s learned to work around it, listen to his older brother when he sounded reasonable, and remain amicable around the rest of it.

He knew Joel’s tendencies, but found ignoring them was easier than bringing up the issue.

“Can I tag along this time?” You ask curiously, those pleading eyes falling on Tommy.

He chuckles, his spoon clanging against the ceramic as he shakes his head, halfheartedly as he speaks around the food he was chewing in his mouth, “I can handle it, kid. Besides, someone’s gotta keep an eye on Joel.”

You tense at the mention of his name, forcing a soft smile. Tommy doesn’t suspect a thing, wouldn’t even have the inclination, but the look of disdain Joel offers to you both stings.

“It’s a long drive, probably a couple days,” Tommy nods his chin up toward his brother and kicks at his foot, the boot scuffing against the wood, “you can teach her how to hunt while I’m gone.”

Joel doesn’t respond immediately and Tommy presses, leaning slightly to obscure his brother’s glare at the wall across from him, eventually Joel nods but it was entirely unconvincing and Tommy shakes his head in amusement, disapproval crossing his face as he chews at his bottom lip.

“Don’t hurt each other while I’m gone,” Tommy jokes, “alright?”

You smile half-heartedly and spin your knife on the barely standing end table to your left, “I can behave��right, Joel?”

Joel grunts, barely an acknowledgement at your expense as he walks between you two and lands on the couch, kicking off his boots over the edge and allowing himself to get comfortable, forearm slung over his eyes as he shimmied his shoulders down until he was comfortable.

“We’ll be fine.” You tell Tommy softly and he nods, looking at his brother with a brief frustration.

He could take you with him, he knows that. But, he’s almost fearful that Joel would run off in the middle of the night, that Tommy would never see his brother again. Losing Sarah had taken a toll on both of them and while Joel tried his damndest not to show the effects, Tommy feels them lingering. You were the most rational out of all of them, despite your inexperience and hesitancy to fight for yourself, your emotions were in check. For the most part.

You could be the perfect little watchdog Tommy needed.

But, in the back of your mind, you knew Joel was in command. It had been that way from the beginning; the dutiful little brother, the helpless young girl who had nowhere to go. It just worked.

Tommy departs with a nod, chuckling quietly at the already snoring Joel on the couch to your left. And you sigh with your own creeping feeling of exhaustion taking over, falling back against the balled up coat on the floor and finding yourself drifting to sleep eventually too. 

–

You wake up in a different spot, feeling the rigid but somehow softer fabric of the couch under your body as you roll over, peeking your eyes open to the blinding light. You groan quietly, stretching out tense limbs as you spot Joel. He’s leaned back in a chair, feet propped up in another as he flicks away at a solid chunk of wood, knife gripped in his hand.

“That’s mine,” You grumble weakly, spotting the weapon in his hand. His eyes flick up briefly, a chuff of acknowledgment from his nose has you squinting in his direction, “—you didn’t ask.”

Joel squints in response, flipping the knife in his hand until the handle is facing out, offering up the knife to you. You rise slowly, feeling slightly wobbly on your feet as you approach him. He brings the knife back toward his chest as you reach for it, “I think you’re forgetting, it was mine.”

You snatch it against his weak grip, too irritated from the lack of decent and comfortable sleep to argue, tossing it away on the couch as you round the dining table, peering through the slip of curtains covering the window, spotting the pile of burnt and charred bodies outside the window.

“Why did you move me?” You ask idly, dragging your fingers down the silk curtain, watching a few drops of rain hit the window before the trickle becomes stronger, followed by a low clash of thunder.

Joel stares at the chunk of wood in his grasp, fiddling with it until he slides it on the table, speaking to you nonchalantly as he stands, “You looked uncomfortable,” Within a few second he’s at your side, looking out the window at the incoming rain storm, “besides—you kept tossing and turning, once you were on the couch it stopped.”

“Oh, so I was disturbing your sleep,” You snark at him, turning your head to look at him. He mimics the movement and chuckles lazily, nodding in agreement, “add it to the list, I guess.”

“Of?”

He’s feigning cluelessness, watching the rain take on a stronger current as it pounded against the roof and you speak absently, “So, hunting is out of the question?

Joel’s arm rises to rest against the wall beside the window, hand tucked at his hip, “No. There’s still plenty to hunt ‘round here, if you have enough patience.”

“Well, I’m hungry.”

“Well, that’s an issue, ain’t it?”

For you, yes. For him, no.

He knows you don’t have the first clue what to equip yourself with, what animals to look for and your head turns, peering up at him curiously with the beginnings of a too sweet smile gracing your features.

“Not happenin’, don’t even ask.” Joel tells you, your smile immediately falling as you step away.

Whatever intensity had lingered the night before—the adrenaline from the attack, was gone.

Joel looks exhausted, conveys it in the slow and tired blinks he aims your way. He’d given up sleep to allow you to get rest, sacrificing his own without outwardly admitting it.

He’s only now starting to regret it as his head pounds, attempting to work through his exhaustion but feeling it catch up on him in waves, “We’ve got a can or two left to pick at, try that.”

Your face contorts in subtle disgust, “We need meat. Beans and peaches can only get us so far.” Joel doesn’t hear your complaints though, departing for the couch with a hand rubbing at the back of his neck, tense and knotted up muscles causing a deep ache in his back. He falls to the couch and throws his head back, allowing a few minutes to pass where he feels himself drifting into a slumber with his large hand rubbing at his forehead, thumb and middle finger digging into his temples as he nurses a headache, only looking over at you when the couch dips under your weight.

“Rock, paper, scissors?”

Joel huffs at that, knowing that only you could find how to pull the levity out of a shitty situation. 

“I’m not—” Joel shakes his head, his hand falling to his lap, “We’re not doing that. It can wait until the rain clears up.”

“And if it doesn’t?”

There was no way to tell, really. It was all an educated guess, the darkened clouds hovering overhead letting you know that it didn’t have any plans to leave quite yet.

Joel doesn’t offer a response, his head tipping back against the back of the couch with his eyes closed, his hands resting in his lap as he shrugs his shoulders and settles, you tilt your head curiously.

“You seem tense,” You tell him, “like—more tense than usual.”

Admittedly, he was restless too. But, unlike you—he could fight it. 

All that energy, nowhere to put it toward.

There’s so much silence, a thickness in the air that lingers as his own gaze on you does. He’s become used to studying you; upset, worried, irritated—he’s got it all down by now. Although, he had one that stumped him hard: want— but, he seemed to be picking up on the cues, noticing the look on your face as your lip pulled between your teeth in absent thought, tilting your head at him. You’re staring at his exposed skin, the scruffiness of his jaw where he’s allowed his beard to grow out. 

“Fine,” You sigh, noting his stubbornness, “what about a game?”

He doesn’t like the way the word slips from your lips, noticing how much closer you’ve gotten. Your knees pressed into his hip as you slowly worked your way over, legs tucked under your ass. Joel’s eyes narrow before they relax, turning away with a grunt of indifference.

“Impossible,” You mumble under your breath, “look—either I go out there and risk my ass or you do it for me. It’s late, I’m hungry,” And, as if on cue, Joel’s stomach growls too, “and so are you.”

Joel relents, watching his chest rise and fall in one heavy breath, “What game are you talkin’ about?”

You could think of something on the fly, although Joel has done everything but touch you since the night prior—because if he did, he was doomed. So, you make the first move.

Your finger drags along his open flannel until it catches on the first button it finds, the rest of your hand slipping under the fabric and noting the lack of undershirt. He must have taken a layer or two off at some point, unbeknownst to you. His skin is warm under your hand, his chest hair soft against your fingertips.

Joel grabs at your wrist but doesn’t take the step to move it away—a warning. Stay still, don’t go further. He’s looking at you by then, eyes wider and more present and darker around the edges than usual, icing out the warm brown.

“Whoever loses goes hunting,” You suggest, “sound fair?”

“That still doesn’t explain the game,” His fingers tightening around your wrist, feeling your quickened pulse under his touch, “besides—you also don’t know shit about hunting game birds.”

“I can manage, Joel,” You argue, “can’t be that hard to kill a fuckin’ duck.”

Joel chuckles at the thought, a subtle smirk pulling at his lips and his cheek dimpling with the expression. He can appreciate the confidence, the stubbornness that you carried with every word.

“Rules?” Joel inquires again, a smile creeping its way onto your face as he takes the bait.

“You come, you lose.” It really was that simple. 

Besides, it was a better way to pass time than tense, uncomfortable silence. Sex could be easy–detached, emotionless, and fun. Something you desperately needed right now.

Joel is quiet for a while, longer than you’d like. The gears are turning in his head, his eyes trailing slowly over your frame, like he’s dedicating it to his memory, before they fall upon your face. His softer around the edges like this, still guarded, but less…vengeful. 

Fuck it, he needed this.

“I hope you can manage huntin’ on your own,” He taunts, earning a squeal of laughter as his fingers dig into your side and pull you to him, your leg swinging over his lap in time with his movements, “‘cause I don’t lose.”

Neither of you bother with anything other than your jeans, wrestling against each other’s confines and flicking open buttons on deft fingers, wiggling them down your legs and off as you leave his lap for a millisecond before he’s pulling you back to him with his hand wrapping around the back of your neck and squeezing, pulling you back far enough that you can see his opposite hand dip to your cunt, thick digits pressing against your clit as your eyes flutter shut.

While you expect intensity, his movements are torturously slow. Slow circles with his thumb against the sensitive nub while his middle finger teases your hole, clenching around the emptiness that yearned to be filled. He only grunts when you wrap your hand around his cock, hardening under your touch as you squeeze, jerking him to full attention.

Joel was a mystery still and you’re working out what he likes as you move, noticing the way his face twitches when you drag your thumb over the head of his cock, spreading the small dribble of precome at the tip as you rub, noticing the way his jaw tenses at the motion.

And you want to watch him, study him. But, his fingers are making it near impossible. Your sated sigh turns into a pathetic whine as he slips a digit inside of you to the first knuckle. It wasn’t nearly enough to quell the growing ache in your core, but then his teeth are on you.

Not his lips or his tongue—teeth digging into your collarbone as he pulls you to him, one large hand pressing against the center of your back and you hiss, cunt pulsing at the tinge of pain it allows but then his tongue is soothing over the marks his teeth left behind, lazy kisses following as he repeats the process along the expanse of your chest and eventually biting into the side of your neck as his fingers circle your clit quickly. 

Your opposite hand digs into his shirt at his waist, crumbling the material in your hand as you hand moves against his shaft quickly, hurried. It didn’t help that you couldn’t think, foolishly you expected to have the upper hand but it was easy to forget how quickly Joel could cloud your mind and rid you of any coherent thought besides want. And with that, Joel adds another finger, sinking them deeper inside of you

“You’re not even puttin’ up a fight,” Joel taunts, “I can feel that pussy squeezin’ around my fingers.”

You gasp, the heat in your gut swirling around as you try desperately to regain control. Your forehead drops against his shoulder, feeling pitiful as you moan and move your hips in time with his efforts and Joel chuckles beside you, so quiet you almost miss it. 

He’s amused clearly. It’s a taunting laugh, no deeper meaning than a ‘gotcha’. Because he did, he had you so wound up against his touch that you couldn’t think, making this game an easy win on his behalf. 

“Let me—let me suck your cock, I wanna—” You beg weakly, rambling incoherently, “—this isn’t fair.”

“You rules,” He retorts, “can’t go switchin’ up on me now, just ‘cause you’re losing.”

You feel the spiral coming, his hot breath against your neck as your hips jerk and the pressure builds. There was no use fighting it, giving into Joel’s selfless touch and his dirty words, moans growing in volume and intensity as he brings you over the edge with a satisfied remark.

“That’s right,” he declares with a deep growl, “go on, give it to me.”

The lewd sounds of your slick as he presses his fingers inside of you a few times as you catch your breath are enough to make you shove him away, too ashamed to allow him anymore satisfaction as he wipes his hand away on the inside of his flannel and reaches for his jeans, his eyes tracking the frown on your face as you settle into your own clothes again.

His fumbling with the button on his jeans as he leaned back, adjusting them better on his hips as he speaks to you, “I’ll be back in an hour,” he tells you, your eyes flicking up curiously despite your silence, “—you’re still hungry, right?”

If anything, you were ravenous now. 

“But, I lost.”

Joel shakes his head in amusement and slight disapproval, a smug smirk pulling at his lips.

“Either way, I was still goin’ out there,” Joel tells you, adjusting his still half-hard cock in his jeans and your gaze pulls down, unconsciously reaching for his arm but he shakes it off, standing on his feet, “—game’s over, I won.”

“But, you didn’t—”

Joel unravels his sleeves where they’re bunched at his elbows, buttoning up the loose buttons on his shirt before he’s wandering, reaching for his jacket folded over the back of a chair, effectively ignoring your attempts at returning the favor. He clearly didn’t care, so neither should you. 

He already seemed satisfied enough by the look on your face, knowing you were overconfident in the moment and hoping to knock him down a peg, but that had backfired. He considers a thought for a moment, knowing it was a bad idea. But, he wasn’t one for good, thoughtful choices as of late.

“Next time,” He offers quietly, tucking a knife away into his coat pocket and slinging the cheap bow over his shoulder, “keep quiet—shouldn’t take long.”

The words come as a shock, any inclination or acknowledgement toward your weird arrangement was enough to make your eyes widen in surprise, but you mask it well. Joel leaves without another word, braving the pouring rain for a desperate meal. It had been a long time since you’ve had a decent, filling meal. A handful of canned food a week, spread out sparsely to keep the three of you just on the edge of satisfaction. It wasn’t the best way to live, but it was all you had. 

The lighting cracks through the sky and is followed by a low, booming thunder that shakes the entire house as you sink into the couch, waiting anxiously for Joel’s return.

-

You can’t be accurate, but it feels like Joel returns right on time.

The storm had dissipated to a steady rain by now, occasionally fading into a soft trickle. He’s nearly drowning, but two ducks richer as he slaps the dead game on the table and slowly strips himself of his damp clothes, struggling with the sopping wet layer of his flannel. The fire was a welcomed warmth, his eyes closing as the floor creaked under your footsteps. He feels you hands before he sees you, helping him silently to unbutton his shirt.

It was harder to undress like this, the layers sticking heavily to his skin. When his flannel is unbuttoned you reach for his jeans, taking them to the sink to squeeze out the excess water before you lay them out in front of the fire, hoping it would be enough to dry them by morning. 

You repeat the process as he discards the layers, a silent chore to busy yourself while he strips to his underwear, not nearly as wet as the rest of his clothes but he hesitates, knowing he had an extra change of clothes in his pack.

He decides against it, finding that his hunger was far too persistent to allow him to go any longer without eating. He nods toward the already skinned and prepped animals on the table.

“Let’s eat,” Joel suggested, “before we ended up starvin’ to death.”

You weren’t going to argue, fetching the ducks off the table and presses them into Joel’s waiting hand, watching as he knelt down in his underwear and reached for two pokers resting in the holder besides the fireplace, situation the soon to be food onto the iron rod before he’s resting them directly into the flame.

You fetch a couple blanket off the couch as you watch, tossing one silently to Joel that he accepts with a nod, his eyes following you as you took a seat across from him, staying quiet as he turned the food a few times, allowing it a hopefully full cook—not that you could complain about eating slightly raw meat at a time like this.

The meal is messy but delicious, wiping your fingers against the blanket wrapped over your shoulders and licking away at the juices left behind and Joel mirrors you, devouring the food without a thought. It feels oddly domestic when you forget about everything happening around you, belly full as you set the iron rod aside and settle deeper into the cover.

You watch curiously, like a cat, while Joel rises to clean up the mess. His movements are slower, his stomach slightly fuller now that he’s eaten but it still amazes you at his broadness when the blanket drops to the floor. He strips out of his underwear without any acknowledgment, tossing them alongside the other slowly drying clothes and begins to depart for the bedroom, stopped by your hand scrambling for his wrist as you appear beside him.

He hadn’t even heard you move, wondering how you managed to keep so quiet. You’re startled by the warmth in his face, his gaze dropping to the fingers wrapped around his arm. His other hand is cupping himself, attempting some layer of decency but you’re only looking at his face.

“Tommy won’t be back ‘til morning,” You remind him, “how about a rematch?”

Joel doesn’t answer for a moment, feeling your stomach flutter with a disappointment you’ve never felt, but then he’s surging forward, fingers curling into your hair and tipping your head back as he kisses you, forcing in a sharp breath as his other hand mirrors and presses you backwards, guiding you toward the bedroom rather than the couch. 

His lips don’t leave, guiding you toward the mattress that was covered in a curtain Joel had ripped from its hinges. This kiss isn’t gentle, driven by lust and a need to keep you quiet. Joel finds it impossible to think around you sometimes and shutting you up was the easier route. So, it wasn’t genuine but it was needy, desperate. His tongue licks into your mouth as his hands trail down your body, lifting at the back of your thighs until you’re seated on the bed, level with his cock and eager to redeem yourself.

You pull at your top that Joel is itching to remove, his fingers tucking under the end of it and pulling up before you’re grabbing at his cock, dragging your tongue along the side and under, tracing the tip of your tongue along the vein that ran from base to tip, taking the thick girth of him into your mouth as you peer up, finding that he was staring right at you, eyes half-lidded and cloudy in the darkness but it was there. Admiration, a crack in his facade. He hisses under his breath when the tip of his cock presses against the back of your throat, repeating the motion until your eyes string with tears, trading your mouth for your tongue against as you circle it around the head.

“Up the bed,” He coaxes, gently pulling you away with a hand pressing against the front of your neck, a frown of disapproval thrown his way, “go on—up.”

You don’t argue though, crawling back on your hands as he tugs at your jeans, removing them alongside your underwear and leaving you in a complete state of undress alongside him. The clothes pile on the floor and Joel climbs over the edge of the mattress, prowling toward you slowly as you breathe consciously, comforted by the spread of Joel’s hand over your chest, his fingertips tickling the center of your throat.

“What’s the prize this time?” You ask softly, terrified that speaking too loud would spear the thick cloud of tension surrounding you both, “We never established that.”

“We can figure it out later,” Joel affirms, allowing the hand at your chest to trail down your stomach, to your core, fingers dipping inside of you again without warning, “when you lose.”

His confidence is attractive, but the smugness only infuriates you further. 

And with full stomachs, nearing the edge of exhaustion, you find that the delirium hits you both faster than you’re expecting. The pace is slow, exhausting—tantalizing and teasing touches that drag you both along the edge for far too long and you can’t tell if Joel’s doing it on purpose, bringing you so close to the end before letting you slip back, but eventually it happens by accident.

You flip him to his back when he’s distracted, his cock trapped between your stomach and his own as you grind yourself against his thigh lazily, his eyebrow pinching together at the surge of the sensation that hits him and he comes without warning, painting his stomach with the spurts of cum that spill from his cock with a low groan in his throat, barely able to keep his eyes open.

“You lose.”

Your voice is distant in his ears, but he chuckles quietly at your words.

By then, you’re both too tired to move and fall asleep as is, pressed against his chest as his cum dries against your skin and surely you’ll both regret it come dawn, but for now, sleep consumes you.

[neversetyoufree]

The way Noé Archiviste is written is so good. I'm so obsessed with him.

He's such a protagonist—endlessly hopeful against adversity and filled with kindness and attempted understanding toward everyone he meets. He's a good person! He wants to save everyone! He is genuinely and utterly without any sort of cruelty or unfair bias.

Yet, the more the series goes on, the more he's written as a very obvious parallel to our antagonists.

The most blatant example of this is the Ruthven parallel. Ruthven once happily said that he liked vampires, and in the same way, he liked humans. Noé repeats this exact same line when he has tea with Ruthven.

This parallel doesn't reflect too poorly on Noé, since it's pretty clear that something Happened to Ruthven to change him between his speaking that line and him becoming our antagonist, but it is an interesting way to tie the two of them together. It raises certain questions in readers' minds. In what other ways are Noé and Ruthven still similar, and how might Noé change to become more like him?

Then there's Noé's toxic optimism. The "you should be a little bothered, actually" aspect of him. Noé is the mirror to Vanitas's toxic pessimism. He latches onto the good in the world to a fault, and in this way he detaches from reality and endures an endless series of abuses to his person without even understanding they're abuses.

That is also one of the defining traits of Mikhail. Misha is unsettling in part because he is completely detached from any understanding of severity. Misha happily recounts being abused and watching his mother die not because he's cruel or hateful, but because he doesn't understand what's happened to him or why those things are bad. Misha wants to bring Luna back to life because he's in denial of the reality of their death. He believes he can just resurrect them and everything will be fine, and he'll get to play happy family again.

If Noé went just a little bit more extreme with the over-optimism, he could disconnect from reality just as badly as Misha has.

Finally there's my favorite parallel—the tie between Noé and his Teacher. Noé Archiviste has a tendency to watch others in fascination, trying to figure them out from the sidelines while he fails to understand his own impact on them, and he absolutely loves the Blue Moon. He thinks the Blue Moon is beautiful. Teacher spends his time collecting interestingly damaged children in putting them in awful situations, apparently just for the fun of watching what they'll do next, and he calls The Vampire of the Blue Moon "the most beautiful creature in the world."

Noé's curiosity-driven fascination with Vanitas's trauma and his love of the blue moon—neither of these are necessarily a problem on their own, but when written in direct parallel with The Count of Saint Germain, they become somewhat alarming.

In the same way that Misha is "worse" than Noé because his obliviousness to his trauma leads him to harm others, Noé's teacher is surely a worse person than him because he lets himself harm others in pursuit of his interests. Noé doesn't do that. But what would it take for that to change? He's pushed boundaries before. He learned to hurt Astolfo and Misha in the name of protecting those he cares about. What other strange places could his headstrong nature lead?

What might Noé do when his fascination and his obliviousness intersect? When the parts of him that are Teacher and the parts of him that are Misha overlap? What would he do to see Vanitas again? What might he do without letting himself realize how terrible it was?

Noé is a good person. He's one of the best people. But in his attentiveness and his optimism and his love, there's the seeds of something that could lead him down a very dark road. Each of the above antagonists is a little bit a part of who he is.

Misha wants to bring Luna back to life. Ruthven is working toward some mysterious aim with the dead or dying Faustina. And given how he talks in mémoire 55, I wouldn't be surprised if Teacher also had an interest in bringing back The Vampire of the Blue moon in one form or another.

In all his fascination and love and hope, would/will Noé be able to let Vanitas die when death is preferable to the alternative? This is a story about the inevitability of death, and the denial of that inevitability creates nothing but horror and perversion. Noé is growing and learning to understand both Vanitas and the moral complexities of the world, and we can only hope that he learns enough. We can see through his many reflections in other characters what he might become if he can't accept painful reality.

[fancifulplaguerat]

Something I struggle to reconcile with Daniil’s character is his attitude towards violence, because he’s this impassioned doctor claiming he wants to save everyone but at the same time is pretty quick on the draw across all three routes. E.g. in the Bachelor Route, the player can say that Daniil doesn’t want others to die for him; that it’s his job to preserve lives, not waste them; and tells Saburov that Artemy couldn’t be a killer, because why would a *doctor* kill anyone? but then the next conversation he’s expressing delight when Andrey tells him he can kill marauders with impunity. Thinking about it more, though, I don’t think it’s necessarily that dissonant given how Daniil’s character is constructed within this “destroyer” idea, and I think his motivations are pretty consistent as well. 

I feel Daniil is the most emotional healer—he’s very wear-it-on-your-sleeve and seemingly easily swayed by emotion, considering how he reacts to Simon’s death/Aglaya’s betrayal. He’s not altogether impulsive, since he’s conscientious and sometimes even refuses to act without ensuring whether he’s right, but he’s clearly partly motivated by emotion. For one, he often to lashes out at people—there are frequent dialogues in his route where he can snap at someone and then say a variant of “Sorry, I lost my temper.” I don’t think Daniil is necessarily an angry person, but reactive and in a situation where he’s constantly under pressure/being prevented from doing what he needs to be done, so obviously he’d often be frustrated and angry. I also don’t think him acting violently is  because he wants to take his anger out on others, and rather his sense of justice allows him to justify violence on the grounds of who “deserves” to be punished or to die. For example, in the Haruspex/Changeling Route he only threatens to kill Artemy or use violence against Simon Kain’s murderer because eye-for-an-eye; the killer deserves to be punished, because that’s just. Daniil also expresses anger and disdain towards those who kill others, so it seems to him, killing a murderer is just righting a wrong. 

Outside his motivations, I also think Daniil’s tendency towards violence works within his broader characterization as a fighter/destroyer. He’s indirectly characterized as an apt fighter in both the Haurspex/Changeling Routes, and rhetoric of ‘fighting’ is constantly used to describe his research and actions within the town. On Day 1, both Maria and Katerina describe his fate as a battle—Maria says, “a truly terrifying battle is ahead of you [...] You will fight a foe that few can defeat” and Katerina says, “I’m talking about a very particular battle... You are one of the combatants, Bachelor Dankovsky [...] you will have to fight to the death.” I also want to point to this dialogue with an herb bride, which I know is in common, but: 

Herb Bride: How are you smart? Smart people are four-eyed nerds... bulgy heads on stunted legs. Cunning, cautious, weak, old even... no, you are not a smart man. You are a warrior.

Player: You can be both.

Herb Bride: Really? I thought you can only have one. Your eyes are throwing needles, and your teeth are clenched fast. You've got the face of a man who can sweep down anything that stands in his way. The face of a destroyer.

Player: Correct. This is the true purpose of smart people [...] I destroy death. 

Herb Bride: Oh... So that's why there are always sparks of hatred in your eyes. And that's why your smile is so spiteful.

I’m still debating my opinions on the implications here, but I feel it’s partly related to the game’s pessimism about miracles/utopias. Specifically that in Daniil’s attempt to attain utopia:defeat death, he can only cause more destruction, as in Kaspar’s infamous “You may mean well, but you bring evil and destruction all the same [...] Your heavy hand will crush us all—even if you were only grabbing us in order to pull us out of the abyss.” The sentiment that Daniil is solely a destructive force even when he tries to do good is echoed all over the game, which frankly makes me upset because I’m too attached to this tortured little fellow. Daniil does what he thinks is right just as Artemy and Clara, but he doesn’t even get the privilege of attaining his goal like the others do in their endings. The Bachelor ending is really only a symbolic victory for Daniil; Thanatica is burned down and he hasn’t really gotten any closer to beating death. For all intents and purposes, Daniil loses even in his own ending, and I have all sorts of thoughts about that but. I shall tuck it away for another day 

[shakespeareallanpoe]

Talks With Father

Word count: Idk

Warnings: none, unless you're terrified of Bruce being a good dad 😕

Dedication: @purp1e-ph0enix & @bradshawsbaddie

_____________________

"You mention her often."

Damian turned to look at the vigilante beside him, his finely tuned senses and years of knowing his father filling in everything Batman didn't say. There was no prompt, no segway into this conversation. They were sitting in the Batmobile while the computer program inside was rebooting and nothing but comfortable silence between them only a few seconds previously. It was offered as conversation starter and Damian knew Batman wouldn't push. In his own bat-way he was telling his son he was aware- the greatest detective in Gotham City was always aware.

Damian didn't put much stock into his father's experience with relationships, and they both knew Batman wasn't offering advice. Damian could leave it there. Batman wouldn't tell anyone and his son knew he would likely never mention it again. Damian almost took it, and if it was a couple years ago he would've. But since he had joined and left the Titans, Damian had seen the effects of allowing relationships to deepen beyond the surface level his league training always taught him to maintain. Being back with the league as their leader, he saw just how inhuman they had expected him to be. Damian rarely got the genuine moments his younger self always scoffed at, and he knew his mental and emotional health wasn't benefitting from it.

It's how he found himself occasionally visiting Gotham. At it's worst it was a filthy city that reeked of crime, and never failed to have some crisis or another. Damian was a hero here. He knew he was violent and brash but that's what the city needed when the police failed. Gotham always needed him for who he was, and Damian remembered telling his father these things go both ways. He needed Gotham as well. To take a break from the league, when that world got so toxic it became hard for him to breathe. Hard to see the man in his mirror.

Only Alfred and his father knew. Of course they knew. But Batman put a great deal of effort for the sake of his son, and allowed Damian to come and go as he pleased. It was hard for the man with trust issues and severe paranoia, but a week before he passed Dick had spoken to Batman about letting Damian go. That he would fly true if he was given the chance to spread his wings. And everyone knew the bat was trying to live by his first son's final wishes.

It didn't weigh on Damian's mind for long. His relationship with his father had greatly improved, to the point that they now worked together during Damian's visits. His father already knew. And self growth could only make a person stronger for it, so why not?

"I want to know how she is. She has yet to leave my... heart."

Batman exhaled, a sign that he'd heard his son's even response. Damian never reached out to his old teammates, but he did occasionally inquire as to how they were after the spilt. Batman kept tabs on them for these moments, and while he knew little about Raven, what he did know he always shared. Despite it hardly ever being good news.

"Raven is strong. She is with Kent at the moment and doing all she can." Batman's dark voice offered.

Damian didn't hesitate. "Just because the burden is carried well does not mean it is deserved. She is innocent, suffering, and still trying to save those who are the same. Magic is the only difference between the people and their hero."

Batman knew he and his son's tendencies towards philosophical pessimism would only darken their conversation. This world was a mess and those who fought for justice rarely got justice of their own. His first son was dead. His biological son existed because someone he cared for took advantage of him without remorse. But Batman, in his heart, desperately wanted the best for the youth of his city. All the children who could have lives he never could if only he sacrificed himself in every way for his city.

Looking across the Batmobile which had 4.33 seconds left in it's update, seeing the face that looked so much like his own at the age when he was lost in his determination to become the hero his life never had, Batman smiled softly at his son. "That doesn't mean she isn't cared for."

Damian, halfway lost in his own mind, truly a mirror of his father, had no response. Raven deserved so much more. She worked so hard and never gave a sign of the pain and pressure she had to endure. This world was a mess and those who fought for justice rarely got justice of their own. Damian's oldest brother was dead. His father hated him in the beginning because he was the physical reminder of how cruel the world could be. But Damian, in his heart, desperately wanted the best for Raven. He wished he could rewrite her fate, which seemed to be carved with blood in the stars, and give her the peace she sacrificed herself for in every way for her world.

Damian eventually found his own voice breaking himself from his musings, spilling from his mouth as if it took no thought. "Please help them. Save her."

Batman nodded, his finely tuned observation filling in everything Damian didn't say. The older man silently handed his son the keys to the Batmobile and moved to get out of the driver's seat. "Damian. The things that mean the most to us are the things we sacrifice everything for. You both care for the world and one day, you have to believe that the world will give it back to you."

"Tt. That sounds like a Hallmark marathon in the Wayne Manor was finished recently." Damian shot back lightly, grabbing the keys with a grin.

"It might have been." Batman replied evenly, holding the driver's door open while his young superhero climbed in. "I expect the car in perfect shape when it inevitably returns past your curfew."

"High expectations. We'll see what the criminal underbelly of Gotham has to say about that. Could be a rough night."

Batman stood back from his car in anticipation for his youngest's depart. "Shouldn't be a problem then. But if you want your first date to be a seaside picnic on the Wayne Beach with Alfred's cookies, I look forward to seeing the Batmobile in good shape tomorrow morning."

Damian blushed- only faintly- as only a teenager talking to his father about his crush would. "Perhaps your Hallmark movies do provide a potential benefit, however miniscule and insignificant."

Batman smiled almost teasingly. "There's no need to suffer through the cinema you don't enjoy. I've already collected quite the list of romantic outing ideas I think the two of you would like."

"Father! Do not meddle with my life!" Came Damian's indignant and completely flustered response from the interior of the giant black vehicle. He didn't want to know how long his father had been collecting romantic ideas for a potential future he may have with his Raven.

Batman snorted. "Alfred's idea. Told me to put my time in the theater room to good use. Kate is the one who went out of her way to buy Raven a series of date night dresses. I believe she called them 'adorable' in her description to me. Do you think Raven would look suitable in them?"

Damian in that moment was busy thanking every god he didn't believe in that the blackout window was up to hide his scarlet face as he violently shifted the car into gear and raced out of the batcave.

Do NOT think about Raven in an adorable purple dress

Do NOT think about Raven in an adorable purple dress

[gffa]

I AM IN REAL FUCKING TEARS ABOUT THIS COMIC I KNEW IT WAS GOING TO BE GOOD BECAUSE DARTH VADER’S DIARY IS ALREADY A HELL OF A PREMISE NOTHING MAKES ME HAPPIER THAN MAKING FUN OF THE TERRIBLE PERSON THAT DARTH VADER IS AND WHEN IT STARTS OUT WITH “I was summoned to his quarters earlier to remove a corpse and found it under, y’know, some ‘magazines’.” I KNEW I WAS IN FOR A RIDE. AND BOY WAS I. “He’ll never know.  His place is such a mess, he’ll think he just misplaced it or something.” I’M CRYING, ANAKIN STILL HAS THE JUNKIEST ROOM NO MATTER IF HE’S LIVING IN THE JEDI TEMPLE OR ON THE DEATH STAR, PERFECT CHARACTERIZATION

“Got a new helmet today!  A better fit than the last, and I don’t get so hot and sweaty.” IF YOU ASKED ME TO WRITE ANAKIN SKYWALKER’S DIARY AS DARTH VADER I COULD NOT HAVE WRITTEN A FUNNIER LINE THAN JONATHAN ADAMS HAS WRITTEN “HE MISSPELLED NIGHTMARE” PLEASE, HAVE MERCY ON ME, I’M ACTUALLY CRYING RIGHT NOW AND THEN THE SWERVING BETWEEN INSIGHTFUL COMMENTARY ABOUT LUKE BUT THEN ALSO “HOW DO I TELL HIM I’M HIS FATHER?  ‘HEY, YOUR MOM AND I USED TO DATE.”?” ANAKIN.  ANAKIN, PLEASE.

“GROWING UP WITHOUT A FATHER OF MY OWN, I CAN’T BE EXPECTED TO KNOW HOW ONE WOULD ACT.  I’M NOT THAT WORRIED; I TURNED OUT FINE.” ANAKIN. “IF HE REJECTS ME, I DON’T KNOW.  I’M NOT GOOD WITH REJECTION, I MAY HAVE TO KILL HIM.” WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS, ANAKIN. I MEAN, I KNOW WHY, BUT.  WHY. “MY TENDENCIES ARE ALWAYS TOWARDS PESSIMISM.  IT’S AMAZING I’VE GOTTEN SO FAR IN LIFE.” HELP, THAT IS 100000% AN ANAKIN SKYWALKER THING TO SAY. AND THEN THE DRAWINGS IN HIS DIARY, CASUAL REMINDER ANAKIN SKYWALKER TOTALLY WAS AN ARTIST I’LL DIE ON THAT HILL, AND OF COURSE VADER’S DOODLES ARE... THAT. “SURE, THEY DIDN’T HAVE A PARTY FOR ME LAST YEAR, OR THE YEAR BEFORE.  BUT THEN ALL OF THOSE STORMTROOPERS ARE DEAD NOW, SO EACH YEAR BRINGS NEW HOPE.” IF ANYONE TRIES TO SAY ANAKIN SKYWALKER IS NOT THE FUNNIEST PERSON YOU’VE EVER MET, YOU ARE WRONG

VADER WALKING THROUGH THE HALLS BEING MAD NOBODY GAVE HIM A BIRTHDAY PARTY JUST STARING AT THEM AND THEN CREEPILY WALKING AWAY TO GO SULK IN HIS BEDROOM “I’M SO DEPRESSED, I JUST WANT TO SLEEP FOREVER.  WELL, MAYBE IT’S A LITTLE THAT I HAVEN’T SLEPT THE PAST THREE DAYS.  JUST A LITTLE.” ANAKIN SKYWALKER, ANAKIN SKYWALKER, ANAKIN SKYWALKER

FACE DOWN ON THE FLOOR VADER YOU CAN PUT HIM ON ROBO STILTS AND YOU CAN PUT A DEATH’S HEAD MASK ON HIM AND YOU CAN CHANGE HIS VOICE AND YOU CAN DEEP FRY HIM IN THE DARK SIDE BUT THAT IS STILL ANAKIN FUCKING SKYWALKER RIGHT THERE HE HASN’T EATEN ANYTHING OTHER THAN CHEESE CURLS IN THE LAST 18 HOURS NOW YOU KNOW OBI-WAN’S PAIN AT TRYING TO GET THIS NERD TO EAT ANYTHING EVEN RESEMBLING A VEGETABLE AND I 100% BELIEVE ANAKIN WOULD FIND A WAY TO STILL EAT NOTHING BUT CHEESE CURLS EVEN WITH THE SUIT HE’S A MECHANICAL GENIUS AND HE’S THE MOST DETERMINED IDIOT YOU’LL EVER KNOW HE WOULD FIND A WAY AND THEN EAT NOTHING BUT CHEETOS, I BELIEVE IN HIM

THE ABSOLUTE CONFUSION ON HIS FACE WHEN SOMEONE SAYS HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO HIM IT IS RAINING ON MY FACE BECAUSE I LAUGHED SO HARD I CRIED GOD I LOVE THIS WEIRD NERD ASSHOLE HE IS THE BEST AND IF HE WOULDN’T KILL ME FOR KNOWING ABOUT IT I WOULD TOTALLY JOIN HIM ON THE CHEESE CURL COVERED FLOOR WHEN HE’S FEELING DOWN

[eddiediazismyhusband]

I think part of the problem I have (and this may be an unpopular opinion) is all the hopes and opinions and ideas people (fans) have about the new season. And I don’t just mean things like the “mustache = obvious gay Eddie” that’s happening. But thoughts on Bobby, his and Athena’s living situation, Gerrard as captain, let alone Buck, Eddie, and others.

I know a lot of spec is just for fun, but some people take it quite serious. And I know I’m newer to this fandom but sometimes I read serious takes and go “….but that would never actually happen?! I know many of us don’t trust Tim and the writers but realistically that would never be a storyline on a tv show.…that’s a fanfic.”

So I can’t blame you for your pessimism or want to avoid spec. I hope we don’t get a lot of bts stuff either too, because I feel like fans will be trying to (over)analyze everything to figure things out. Only to likely be disappointed because I don’t trust these writers to write/do anything half as creative, original or logical as fans come up with. Expectation is the enemy and I’m afraid a lot of fans have theirs set too high for this season already

anon i have disgraced you by leaving this burried in the inbox and i feel awful 😭😭

i think fandom in general (and i mean any fandom not just 9-1-1) have this tendency to blur the line between cautious optimism/spec and actually convincing themselves of something happening…

i think a lot of people (and if you are one of these people this is NOT a dig at you) still want to have faith that the writers are actually going somewhere with the story, and they do so by speculating and putting actual thought into what the overarching storyline could be but unfortunately after 6 seasons of waiting, i’m getting tired of the whole thing being dragged out.

it’s no longer a will they/won’t they between the characters for me because multiple times they’ve reached the point where they don’t need anymore of that build; the only will they/won’t they is in terms of the writing team actually going somewhere rather than continuing to bait us

i have no issue with spec/theorizing (i may not wanna see it but i just filter out the spec tags) but my issue lies with some of the more popular buddie blogs having this whole “i can sense that buddie is happening” and then treating people who are validly apprehensive towards getting our hopes up like we’re brainless idiots who don’t know what we’re talking about

even though we literally went through the same thing of buddieblr being like “s7 is our year i can FEEL it there is no way they aren’t going canon”….. just for them to not go canon bc the writers (yet again) changed their minds last minute when they got an early renewal and realized “oh- we don’t actually have to commit anymore, we can just keep baiting snd dragging them along— and they technically can’t call it queerbaiting anymore bc buck’s bi now!”

like everything surrounding this season has been screaming to me (NOT anything from oliver and ryan— ive spoken before about how i think they are where we’re at in terms of being strung along by the writers every season) that we are just being baited again.

and as far as the over-analyzing, i’ve seen so many people saying things like “omg oliver and ryan posting candids/photos and tagging each other buddie is obviously happening”……. as if oliver and ryan aren’t friends…. like i fear the two of them posting eacg other doesn’t really mean much if anything when they’ve done that throughout their friendship.

and just because there are some deranged people on the internet spewing hate about them being friends doesn’t mean that their posting is a sign of anything either other than the fact that they’re probably blocking the lunatics and posting each other anyway…. it’s not some gotcha to anyone in the fandom, it’s not a sign that buddie is coming, it’s two castmates being friends, and doing things that friends do all the time

overall, like i said, i have no problem with people (other than myself) engaging in spec and at this point the people who are getting their hopes up will only have themselves to blame if we’re let down again… my issue mainly lies with some of the bigger blogs being dicks to people raising valid concerns over the new season and not trusting the writers when the writers haven’t done anything to earn that trust; in fact having only done things to the detriment of that trust.

anyway, sorry for the super delayed and super long response, anon 😭😭 i’ve been neglecting my ask box lately in lieu of a spike in temu stans sending me hate yet again but i was just scrolling through and noticed this one and wanted to make a response!

[jenreadsstuff]

Guards! Guards! thoughts...

It's not hard to see why this is many people's favourite book of the series, or why it's often recommended as a good starting point for Discworld newbies. It's both a classic story about a hardened detective tackling a crime, and a subversion of police stories, with some genuinely funny comedy and fantasy elements that don't require much suspension of disbelief.

* Some of the Roundworld parody in the series sometimes feel clunky (see my thoughts on Hwel's comedy inspirations in Wyrd Sisters) but I adore the Dirty Harry references in G!G! Pterry's mock-Latin (Latatian?) jokes are wonderful, and FABRICATI DIEM, PVNC is a gem.

* One thing I like very much about the series is Pterry's approach to writing romance. He manages to capture both the grand sweeping cinematic moments and the small awkward moments, and sometimes moments that are both at the same time! There's a moment near the end where Vimes realises that "someone who thought you were worth smiling at" is about the best one can hope for, and I genuinely teared up at that.

* Also Sybil Ramkin is truly magnificent. While I'm still sometimes uncomfortable at early-Pterry's tendency towards fatphobia, I do love that here is a large woman who is magnificent partly because she is large - she has presence and takes up space and knows she deserves to do so.

* Fantasy casting thought: Vimes is always played by Sean Bean in my head.

* I enjoy the philosophical aspects of the Watch books, Vimes' pessimistic optimism contrasted with Vetinari's optimistic pessimism, and the misguided ambitions of the Brotherhood.

* All in all, this is a terrific book which still makes me laugh more than 25 years after the first time I read it.

[misculenica]

Expressions + Mannerisms (part 2)

By semi-popular demand, another analysis of Solas and his expressions :)

For all you fanfiction writers and solavellans!

I would like to state, for the record, a lot of what I say/have said is purely my own personal interpretations and understandings, and by no means should you take my word as gospel here. This is just some fun :)

I stated in a previous post (I shall call 'Part 1' for simplicity) how Solas has 2 expressions; his 'in the moment' expressions, in which his true feelings are on display, and his 'in character' expressions, in which he's very much putting on a persona.

If you're in solavellan hell, have some hyperfixation-tendencies and/or unresolved feelings towards a specific fictional character (like myself), you'll probably be able to tell the difference between these 2 expressive states of his.

Allow me to elaborate ;)

Solas, In the Moment "when he's honest/caught off-guard/not 'in character'"

Solas clearly has trouble with lying; he's rather terrible at it. I would go so far as to say he only ever lies to you once in the entire game (lying outright, I mean); and it is after the Winter Palace;

"You miss court intrigue... When were you at court?"

"Oh. Well, never... Directly, of course." <- big stuttering liar.

He can't lie worth a damn, but he's by no means honest; he's manipulative, deceptive and sly. I believe I heard someone describe him once as having a 'malicious compliance with/towards the truth'.

I believe his expressions, as well as mannerisms, follow this mentality.

I'll show you several images/scenes in which I believe Solas is being honest/showing himself without his guard up. (And in 2. Solas, In Character, I will show you the contrast).

This one will be hard to show without gifs (which I'm clueless on how to create, forgive me);

A. He blinks a lot, very a-rhythmic.

B. He gets this look about him, and I don't know how to describe it, beyond "'scuse me?" (the long face gets longer, shrug)

Genuinely surprised:

C. He looks very deep in thought/far away - and sad (this man needs some therapy) this is the face he makes when he knows no-one can see him (I'll make a part 3 going into these comparatives of 'you can see me'/'you can't see me');

No ones looking, it's okay (it's not, but whatever) face :

D. He just looks sad when he's being quiet/honest/not putting on some bravado/persona. (You know how 'resting bitch face' is a thing? This man has a resting depressed face, and i think it has to do with the tragedy - he practically embodies philosophical pessimism)

Acceptance/I don't see a way forward/I need a break face:

E. He has the softest look about him when he's touched/shown affection (yes these are all from the dream-kiss scene) (bless my poor solavellan heart)

Yes, I like to be held, please kiss me on my face face:

F. Smug face... He has a smug face (to be fair, this is literally him revealing he has complete control over when you're awake/asleep... and much more, given the context of Tevinter Nights - idk this face always creeped me out actually XD like i knoooow this guy could fuck me up if he wanted)

"It's my world, you're all just living in it" face:

G. He fidgets a lot when it's just him, or he's talking to you honestly. Like he always has to be doing something with his hands. (I noticed he doesn't do it when he's in groups, or with others) - not a facial expression but I thought it was interesting behaviour. In fact, his movements in general increase a lot - he fidgeted, he sways, he wobbles, he gestures, moves his head a lot. (Just watch all of his personal quest, you'll see what I mean). (He also does this when you first meet him, but I chalk it up to he's just super excited that you're not dead and finally you can fix his mess - since he was 100% sure you'd be dead and he was ready to bolt with his 'i didn't say it was a good plan' plan)

At the risk of just listing typically behaviour in people with certain emotions, I'll move on to his 'in character' part.

2. Solas, In Character.

A. He blinks rhythmically, every like... 5/6 seconds?? (yeah, I know... I do have a hobby besides this stuff i swear XD i just like this egg). It's soothing, like a heartbeat. The blinking just always stood out to me with his character, idk.

B. He smiles a lot, but I can't tell if I know who he is and what he's doing, and that's clouding my vision, but it feels very much like a job interview kind of smile. Like, every split second it falters just a bit.

This man just doesn't want to smile (though, I suppose this is early in game when he's very much 'these aren't people' 'oh i have to pretend really hard rn'

C. He stands pretty damn still and stiff - if he's doing this i'm 99% sure he's being manipulative with you, sometimes the only movements he has in a scene is him blinking, perhaps glancing sideways. - think just before the journey to skyhold when he gives you a talk about the orb and how you need to prove yourself - he's in 110% manipulative mode

The trouble with Solas is, he doesn't have many tells - but the ones he does have are big. And, without delving into scenes as they stand, I'd have a hard time expressing this.

But I will leave you with my favourite expression-transition in the entire game.

How he goes from optimism/pride when standing beside Inky, to when the figure passes him, his expression becomes so serious/foreboding. I love it so much.

And I once again want to mention how much I just adore the little details of animation, from eye movement, skin twitches, or full on bodily movement. - especially for a character I adore. It's beautiful to look at, especially as someone who studied animation (absolutely wasted degree on me, I swear) and gets very attached to fictional characters (particularly ones as complicated as the dread egg).

In future parts, provided I get flycam to work on my pc - I'll be able to go through scenes of the egg to give him a bit more of an in-depth view (with gifs and whatnot, can you imagine?).

[wisteria-tarot]

Some traits of f1 drivers future wives: (Current Grid)

Disclaimer: This reading is only for entertainment. Take it with a grain of salt. These are my personal interpretations of the cards with a sprinkle of intuition.

Verstappen:

4 of wands (rx), the chariot (rx), queen of wands (rx), 7of pentacles (rx), 5 of wands (rx):

She'll be a bit on the jealous side, harsh, and very demanding. Not to ruin the mood but I don't really see him having the happiest married life, tbh might even do him good to not get married at all.

Stroll:

7 of swords, king of wands (rx), 4 of swords (rx), 10 of pentacles, knight of wands:

She'll be smart, sharp, and witty, she will let him lead and won't try to take over or be the "man" so to speak in the marriage. She might be prone to stressing out easily or may deal with anxiety, will help him build his legacy and the family legacy in general. She is also very flirty, sexy, energetic, and in general very fiery.

Norris:

7 of wands (rx), 10 of wands, 4 of cups (rx), 6 of pentacles:

She'll be shy maybe timid, she takes care of everything and everyone might be taken advantage of because of this, but she knows her limits/boundaries or will grow to know her limits/boundaries. This won't make her stop helping people though she naturally has a very generous heart.

Piastri:

queen of wands (rx), 5 of swords (rx), the sun (rx), 7 of swords:

She has a very strong personality, very combative and pushy which she always ends up regretting, she is quick to make amends and resolve the issues. She might be at times melancholic. She is someone that you want to have in your corner because she will always fight for you and defend you.

Albon:

5 of cups (rx), 2 of wands, page of pentacles, 10 of cups, 7 of pentacle (rx):

She is very practical and very empowered. She is all about growth, maturing, and stability sometimes to a fault she may have perfectionist tendencies which makes her feel unfulfilled no matter what she does or accomplishes, I see her being an entrepreneur. It will be a very stable, structured, and happy family life.

Sargeant:

6 of pentacles, 5 of wands, king of wands, ace of swords:

She is very respectful treats everyone equally, is very charitable, competitive loves a challenge. A leader, very self-confident, all about communication and finding the truth, intelligent, a visionary.

Zhou:

7 of wands (rx), queen of wands, the sun (rx), 7 of pentacles, the high priestess:

She is very energetic, lively, and strong but I would say that it may be what she wants to present to the world it may not be who she really is. I see some issues with confidence and there may be some slight pessimism, but she works through it and she's always trying to be better despite how she may feel. There is a lot of duality within her character she's a very introspective person, might even be very intuitive or have some psychic abilities.

Hamilton:

Queen of wands (rx), 6 of pentacles, 8 of cups (rx), king of pentacles (rx):

She's very stubborn and doesn't like being told what to do it's giving brat lowkey. But despite outside perceptions, she is very generous knows how lucky she is, and is very grateful for what she has, in general, has a very good heart. Has a very avoidant personality and is afraid of relying too much on someone and having them stab her in her back so she puts all her focus on her work.

Russel:

4 of cups (rx), 7 of cups, the chariot (rx), 9 of cups (rx), strength (rx):

She seems to be fickle-minded, slow to move not the most ambitious. But has the biggest ego, very demanding and prideful.

Leclerc:

10 of cups, 9 of swords (rx), 2 of cups (rx), 8 of wands, the moon:

She may have some traumas when it comes to family or relationships in general that she has had to learn to overcome, she may be a foreigner.

Sainz:

8 of swords (rx), the devil, the sun (rx), 7 of wands, the star (rx), 3 of wands (rx):

She may suffer from ill health that can be either mental or physical, it's leaning more toward mental. Can have a very unhealthy attachment to things and people.

Gasly:

8 of wands, 10 of cups, 9 of swords (rx), death (rx):

She might be a foreigner, she is very stuck in her ways may mot like change. She keeps a lot of things bottled up and may not know how to release them.

Ocon:

9 of cups (rx), 7 of wands, 3 of swords (rx), 9 of wands:

She is confident and assertive maybe to a fault. She is tough and can deal with a lot emotionally and even physically, very persistent and individualistic.

Tsunoda:

8 of swords (rx), ace of pentacles (rx), 2 of swords (rx), 9 of wands, the moon:

She is very open-minded and easy to talk to, but may not be very business-minded or good with money. She is very protective of the things she considers important to her, might be very secretive probably won't see too much of her in the public eye.

Ricciardo:

king of cups, 4 of wands (rx), knight of swords (rx), the empress (rx):

I'm not getting anything that has to do with specific traits, but I am getting that this most likely won't be a very good marriage and might even end in divorce. This one was very strange.

[sketching-shark]

have you seen 'the monkey king' movie trailer? what're your opinions on it?

Okay! Back to my computer so I can answer this.

---

HmmmmMMmmmMMM I suppose cautiously pessimistic? I will say I'm disappointed that YET AGAIN Sun Wukong's love of family and their love of him as the main reason for why he does what he does is being shoved into the background/erased; like wft do you MEAN the Mt. Huaguoshan simians were like "yoU DoN'T beLOng hERe" when he was a baby!?!?!?!?! Also preemptively marking this down as another retelling where his book-canon ruthless practicality is fully dismissed in favor of framing him as a bit of a thoughtless & careless jerk lol. I will say that as this looks to be an animation aimed at children I do understand why this retelling is leaving out a lot of the Monkey King's more "adult" characteristics & putting a focus on Sun Wukong overcoming his ego, and I can potentially appreciate that they might be basing that decision off of the more book-canonical way in which a lot of his desire to gain more and more power seems to come from the way entities from every corner disrespect and/or try to kill him until he proves how much stronger than them he is. That said, I am concerned that this is going to be yet another retelling where he's little more than a egomaniacal chaos monkey until he Learns a Lesson...but then again, that just might be my tendency towards pessimism & getting burned by other western jttw retellings talking. That said, here's the trailer itself if anyone wants to give it a look and let me know if they agree or tell me I'm wrong about everything haha.

[mysteriawrites]

hi 🗣️ may i please request a bg3 matchup?? (i'm p sure i've done matchups for you in the past on my sideblog @frostfall-matches - i'd be happy to make this an exchange if you want!! 💪 you may ignore the fact that my requests are listed as closed lol)

raven / 20s / any pronouns / slight preference for male match but gals are fine too.

personality traits (and notes): introverted (distant, disinterested in getting close to many people, does not get lonely), extremely independent (often refuses to rely on others, hates when people step in to help without me asking for help), confident (arrogant, a bit prideful), straightforward (blunt, sometimes tactless), even-tempered (somewhat apathetic, rarely has strong emotional reactions, but is baseline content almost always), good sense of humor, playful, teasing, mischievous, realist that leans optimistic, curious (nosey, loves gossip), a bit of a troublemaker/rulebreaker, does not shy away from conflict (a bit combative with authority and people who don’t know what they’re doing), not sentimental, does not hold onto regrets, good at self-reflection, cold and a little mean when upset with someone.

hobbies: drawing (digital), painting (watercolor, acrylic), baking, cosplay, reading, taking care of plants, thrill-seeking activities, traveling.

likes: cats, sweets, good food, lattes, aromatic candles, cool weather, traveling, piercings, tattoos, puns (!), lazy days, learning foreign languages, cleaning, new experiences, people with a good sense of humor (quite subjective), when people banter back with me, people who develop their own opinions but are still willing to listen to other perspectives.

dislikes: bitter foods, strong scents, pessimism, hot weather, feeling restricted, possessiveness, conformity, having to be responsible for others, when people don’t stand up for themselves, overly anxious people, people-pleasers, when people act condescending towards me, people who try to force conversation with me.

types: intj-a ; 7w8 ; love languages: physical touch, quality time.

misc.: clumsy ; accidentally misuses slang or phrases bc i can never remember how they go ; able to pick up new skills relatively quickly ; studied french, korean, and latin in uni (also studied abroad) ; majors in international cultures/languages + minors in psychology and medieval history ; prone to being a bit directionless in life ; prone to bad luck but tries to find the humor in most situations ; life approach: to live a life of varied experiences, to not take life too seriously, to not dwell too much on the past.

physical description: 155cm, green eyes, round youthful face, curvy, dimple on one cheek, pale skin (sunburns so easily...), 5 piercings in one ear, 4+an industrial in the other, navel piercing. changes hair color/style/length frequently but it's currently mid back length and toned silver, almost always has straight bangs, hair is wavy.

in bg3 persona: wood elf ; main class ranger (gloomstalker) w/ rogue-like tendencies ; the child of merchant parents and did a lot of traveling with them when she was young but has decided to explore and adventure by herself in adulthood ; not really the academic type but is pretty book smart and willing to learn new things ; equal parts strategic and careless, depending on the situation.

Omg hi and thx for the request! Sure I’d love to turn this into a trade and thank you for all the matchups you’ve done for me in the past!

Astarion!!!

Lowkey this was an easy decision. I feel like you couldn’t be a better match for anyone else, but him. You guys have similar personalities with just enough differences to bring the necessary variety to the relationship.

I feel like you guys would definitely bump heads when first meeting due to similar traits (prideful, apathetic, loner), but once you both begin to care more for your party members including each other than sparks start to fly!

You get close very quickly because it’s so easy to banter and bounce off each other.

At first he finds you optimistic and care free nature a bit annoying at first, but then begins to find is refreshing when times are bleak.

I feel like when Astarion’s trying to seduce you for your own goals and you aren’t falling for it, it’ll be the classic troupe of where person A gets every person to swoon over them except person B which makes them want person B even more.

However when he actually starts falling for you he does get nervous and start to back off a bit, but oh no you’re not letting him get away from you that easily.

Due to your knowledge in psychology you’re able to notice his self destructive behaviors and talk him out of it, but ultimately let him take the lead in figuring out what he wants in life.

Also because of your blunt nature you’re able to deliver the hard truths that he needs to hear without sugur coating things.

Even after your mindflayer worm adventures, you two continue to adventure for awhile. Sharing lots if experiences and fun on the road.

If you get yourself into a tough altercation with some people on the road, Astarion’s charisma helps defuse the situation.

Astarion is still working on his trauma so you’ll have to work up to physical touch with him, but once you do he really likes being held and playing with your hair. He also likes to trace your tattoos.

Astarion is also an introvert so he understands how you need to have alone time as much as he himself does. Although sometimes you guys will be in the same room doing your own things and count it as quality time. (Yknow like comfortable silence)

When you’re having a chill day on the road or once your adventuring days are over, you guys have lazy days together. You’ll cuddle and he’ll read to you. You guys may get a bit intimate but don’t necessarily have sex (not saying it never happens though).

You guys exchange elvish traditions (or what astarion can remember of them) and talk about the history of faerun together.

He gets you a lot of souvenirs on the road usually different snacks and foods for you to try with the occasional scented candle or new set of paints. He even gets you seeds of the local plant life for you to grow.

You guys would get a cat. So many people say astarion is a cat person and I whole heartedly agree.

He (loves) hates your puns. He cringes so hard every time you make one (but he finds your smug face very adorable).

Yknow that popular headcanon about how Astarion’s lover would paint a picture of him so he can finally see what he looks like. Well if you would do that as like a birthday or anniversary present and man would full on cry from happiness at the gesture.

He just loves you so much and is so grateful to finally have someone in his life to bring him joy again.

Sorry id this kind of sucks im writing this early in the morning cause I was inspired.

Runners Up: Lae’zel, Karlach

[trainingdummyrabbit]

pushes two of my interests together cutely . fog-style icons of the swap tokitwins :)

(plus a long technical ramble under the cut bc im incapable of not doing that Constantly)

so the abridged context rundown is that these are styled after the sentiment ttrpg system! in the long and short, every character has ~3 stats, each one assigned a color. each stat represents a core character trait, and can be “locked in” to dictate how a character is feeling or thinking in the moment. taking damage (physical, mental, or emotional) can cause a stat to get “wounded,” rendering it unusable (and further defining character decisions.) thats the very basics of it! the above image is a comp of Base-ColorAlt-ExpressionAlt-ColorAlt. for funsies. :)

. so anyway i gave them stats. WAHAHA

> Yui

- [Yellow: //] the Little Guy stat. he is, at his core, still a 14 year old. a little bit of naivete, a little bit of bluntness. good for earnestness, amicability -- bad for new experiences (he gets nervous :[), commanding respect.

- [Blue: Outcast...] the loner stat. his tendency to stand alone, fend for himself. does what needs to be done. good for self-reliance, judgement -- bad for interaction, accepting support.

[Joint stat w/Mui. They can switch if the other's becomes wounded, taking that wounded stat for their own.]

- [Orange: //] the competence stat. the need to have everything in order, and the ability to efficiently follow routines. good for tactics/stubborness, miscellaneous tasks -- bad for improvisation, listening to others.

- [Black: Silence] kinda cursed... pessimism. the belief that things are just going to go horribly, horribly wrong. he doesn't belong here, and he knows it. good for danger detection, genre awareness. bad for... pretty much everything else. (self-worth, hope)

[like. actually cursed stat. if certain things happen, he has to roll to avoid being forced into locking in this stat.]

> Mui

- [Steel: //]   airheadedness. his tendency to do things his own way-- and not in anyone else's. impulsivity. good for making quick decisions, genuineness -- bad for collaboration, focus.

- [Yellow: //] littleguy stat. curiosity, optimism. just a carefree lil guy that wants to have fun. good for creativity, mischief -- bad for forethought, tempering expectations.

- (Post-Rui) [Blue: ...Never Alone.] bond stat. his connection not just to his brother, but to everyone around him at large. the desire to protect. good for reliability, standing up for others -- bad for isolation,.

[Joint stat w/Yui. They can switch if the other's becomes wounded, taking that wounded stat for their own.]

- (Redlights > Post-Swordsmith) [White: Noise] burning. what hides behind the fog. ruthlessness-- cold, concentrated anger. towards what happened to him, and to whats happening to everyone around him. The Scary One. good for drive, destruction -- bad for preservation, of the self and otherwise.

[whoops! another cursed stat. if certain things happen, he has to roll to avoid being forced into locking in this stat.]

- (Post-Redlights) [*Cyan- Outcast, But Never Alone.] Tokitwins shared stat. Should both of their blue stats be wounded at once, they can collectively choose to instead wound their black+white stats respectively, giving them shared access to this one. to properly wound or lock out cyan, it must be locked out for both of them. 

the trust stat. the ability to act hand-in-hand together, functionally as one. completely putting your faith in another, come hell or high water.

//

so basicaly, they mean The World 2 me,

[fizzingwizard]

it's my first day of break and I'm being so indecisive over what to do. I have a ton, things I have to do and things I want to do, but instead of doing either I'm frantically browsing tumblr like it's gonna fold tomorrow

anywaaaay... Another thing I love that Good Omens 2 did was give us all those tidbits about how little angels and demons who don't work on Earth know about humans. That happened in season one too - a lot - Crowley's explanation to the other demons of what he did to M25 comes to mind. Season 2 gave us archangels who were terrified to even touch something from the mortal world, and demons who were perplexed by blinking lights on appliances.

Why do I like it? Well, because Aziraphale and Crowley are experts on the mortal world - until they aren't. And they don't seem to know that they aren't. They're so used to Earth, they've merged so well with it, and they're patting themselves on the back for creating this liminal zone of neither divine nor human.

But while they know that ducks should eat frozen peas instead of bread, and that hot cocoa is perfectly safe to consume, they don't know the ins and outs of the human heart. Crowley thinks he can get Nina and Maggie to fall in love by summoning a rain storm and forcing them to huddle together under an awning. Aziraphale thinks Jane Austen's protagonists fall in love through dancing in balls. The rain, the balls, they're catalysts for love - they can't create it out of thin air. And they can't erase the obstacles.

So Crowley and Aziraphale are innocently naive about love, in the same way Crowley was also stunned by how much worse humans could behave toward each other than any temptation he could come up with. It stands to reason that Aziraphale must also sometimes be amazed by the extent of love and forgiveness we unholy humans are capable of too. Or maybe he's never really thought about it. Because negative experiences weigh on us a lot more than positive ones, maybe that tendency towards pessimism has obscured it.

The point is they've got a lot of learning to do. Crowley seemed like he was starting to cotton on in the final episode, but can a demon who feels hurt and betrayed by God let go of anger and forgive as well as a human? Can an angel who forgives because it's what he's supposed to do learn real forgiveness, forgiveness that accepts people as they are and doesn't ask them to be something they're not? Ahh, delicious delicious angst. Well, I think their chances of figuring out love are better than Shax's of figuring out the electric kettle.

[prosciuttulipa]

Hey, hey, nice talking to you. If the slots are still open, could I ask for a matchup? It's totally fine if not tho, don't feel pressured 😊

For JJBA, Part 5. But please no Diavolo 🤢 I don't mind their gender tho.

Personality: I'm a introvert but not necessarily shy. Actually, I'm pretty chaotic and carefree. You could say I'm a rule breaker, I just do whatever I want. People call me wild but I would say I'm just free lol.

I might have a careless behavior, but I do try my outmost to be kind. Just because I'm intimidating, it doesn't mean I have to be outright mean, right?

I also am heavily independent, I think I might actually have a stroke if I ask anyone for help, I just don't like feeling vulnerable lol.

I would say my good qualities are that I'm pretty pacient and open minded. I just don't get angry and don't judge people at all.

My bad qualities are that I might be too nonchalant about everything and have a tendency to be aloof. Like, I don't take most things seriously, it might prevent me from having outbursts but it also makes me look indifferent.

Likes: I really like cats, cold weather and spooky stories, horror movies. I love halloween and visiting "haunted" places.

Dislikes: I'm really afraid of dogs for no reason and hate hot weather. I also dislike spicy food.

Hobbies: My main hobby is deadass spending money, it's so fun buying random things. I might have a spending problem but at least that's my own money, right?

I mean, that's my job, but I like acting. It's always fun performing and decorating lines, it's like living an alternative life.

When I'm free, I like reading novels and mangás. My favorites one are those of fantasy genre. I just love all that magic shit.

Love Language: Since I like buying things, Gift Giving is naturally how I show love. I like buying them clothes, gifts and paying for the meal.

Quality Time is good too. Normally I value my own time alone but when I actually want to spend it with someone else?? You'll know I'm hooked.

Green Flag/Deal Breaker: I like people who are naturally kind and actually know how to show appreciation. That's something I struggle with and I think that would be something they could help me with.

On the other side, I dislike people who are mean for no reason. Like, you should just chill?? Why are being a pain in the ass lol.

Appearance: I'm a pretty tall girl with pale skin, long curly hair and brown eyes. I need to use glasses but I don't like it, so I just walk around blind.

I only wear black clothes, a rock ish style, kind mixed with goth.

About that choice you were speaking about, I will choose 3 songs if that's not a bother.

That's all, thank you for reading until here. 💐

Congratulations! You have been matched with...

Risotto Nero

Another goth couple matchup, but this time any assumptions people make are not far off the mark. Broody, intimidating, and an inclination to ignore the status quo, you and Risotto are not for the faint of heart (and yes, you two absolutely take pride in that).

Although aesthetically similar, you two balance each other out in small ways. Risotto's job requires precision, but he sees it as a way to protect your right to be wild; it's a privilege he's long lost, and he doesn't want it to be taken away from you too. On the other hand, your efforts to be kind and nonjudgmental despite your chaotic nature soothe his general pessimism towards humanity. As an assassin, he lives in a world where you either hurt or get hurt, with trust being a fool's game—to see someone who values their freedom but does not use it as an excuse to harm others is a rarity to him. Rather than forcing you to be vulnerable, Risotto softens your independence by being a quiet source of strength. He doesn't bring attention to the ways he offers support, and lets his actions speak for themselves. His hope is that you never feel like you have to ask for his help, because the fact that you have it will already be ingrained into your existence.

It's well known that Risotto does not make a lot from his job, so he is frugal with his money. He's shocked (and a little embarrassed) when you offer to buy him things so frequently, but he always shows his thanks with the softness in his gaze. In turn, he indulges your love for quality time, going wherever you want him to go. He finds it amusing when you drag him to watch horror movies or read spooky stories; it takes a lot to spook him, and chances are that he makes it scarier for you by offering his take on how he'd kill off a character.

Dates with Risotto can range from silently chilling at home to exploring abandoned haunts. However, he has a major soft spot for cat cafes. They're so different to his day to day life, wholesome and sweet—and as he watches you play with the cats, he can pretend for a moment that he's just living a normal life with you.

The Matchmaker's Gift:

Still waters run deep, and such are Risotto's sentiments. This song perfectly encapsulates his affection for you, intense and protective.

Another Hozier song (I can't help it, Risotto is so Hozier-coded). In his eyes, you seem too sweet for him, but he'll be damned to let you go.

This song reminds Risotto of your devil-may-care attitude towards life. It's a song full of rockstar charm, a trait he associates with you.

[joziokowalski]

i may have a general tendency towards black and white thinking but i think Usually i'm not too bad at leaving artists' personal lives to themselves and not expecting anyone to be perfectly blameless and thus not idealizing people too much lest i end up disappointed, but Sometimes i do do just that. there are a few artists i once saw as people who created works of absolute purity & in absence of any good reasons to doubt their general decency i took a lot of comfort in their art, feeling like it was a place where i could have some rest from my general pessimism and suspiciousness. and then they got tangled into some shady lawsuits or were accused of some despicable crimes and there's no way i could know for sure if they were guilty or not but the image of purity was already tainted and the evil of the world was on them too, if i can be a bit dramatic about the whole thing. and this is all just very very sad to me tbh