#but now that i'm uncovering shit that happened when i was a kid and all the shit i have boxed away my entire life

[magdaclaire]

i have questions tho

[sleepyangelkami]

Omgg I'm new to tublr but I love ur work smm could you pls do more carl grimes

SHELTERED c.grimes

 ☆ WORD COUNT - 2.8K

CARL GRIMES X FEM!READER

 ☆ SUMMARY - carl's alexandrian girlfriend had always been somewhat sheltered, never so much as laid eyes on a zombie. however, when he decides to go on a supply run with his dad, some of her friends drag her to a party in the woods where she uncovers her first ever walker.

 ☆ WARNINGS - blood, gore, zombies, twd themes, violence, guns, crying, anxiety, worry, (1) use of y/n, pet names, intended lower case, nothing i write is ever proofread 🩷

alexandria was a quiet place in a world of chaos. it was nothing but comfort and clouds, nothing to worry for, nothing to be anxious about.

carl was anything but.

the boy was quite alike a storm the minute he'd entered the town. he was... different from other kids, that much was for sure. he was interested in comics and action while most the kids of alexandria only cared for their xbox's that were powered by the solar pannels.

so it was safe to say that when carl grimes made his way to the gazebo on a sunny day to read his action comic, you sitting with your romance novel threw him off a little.

he soon realised that you too were different.

you two got close so quickly, with your shelteredness, growing up in alexandria and his need to protect, having been on the road for so long, you were practically attached by the hip and the whole of alexandria could see.

when carl first met you, he took not of the plain innocence you displayed, not just because of your skirts and dresses that you pranced around in, pretty bow against your hair, but the fact that you grew up in alexandria. when shit hit the fan and the world turned to death, you never had to experience any of it. you were simply shielded from the dangers of the world as soon as the walls had been placed around your town.

truthfully, carl was glad.

one of the things the boy loved the most about you was the type of purity you displayed. every one of your actions was done with the need to help people. pure intentions.

you didn't have the type of heart for a world like their own, much too sweet to face the death that would stare right back at you.

"do you have to go?" That mumble he'd grown rather attached to. you used that mumble when you were tired, like now when the sun had set and darkness loomed over the town, still wrapped in your own bedsheets.

the boy hummed with dissatisfaction. "i'll be back tomorrow night." it wasn't unusual for the boy to leave at random hours of the night, not making it back until the next. it was to help his father and daryl on their runs, to get what the town needed.

was it selfish to wish he didn't have to?

you made a whine type of noise while muffled between the white pillows. carl only smiled softly. "get some rest, baby." the boy with the cowboy hat pressed a gentle kiss against the crown of your head, picking up his gun and making his way towards the door. "goodnight."

"g'night." but you were almost positive that you'd been asleep by the time the door closed shut again.

as much as carl loved going out on runs, there was something so god awful about leaving you wrapped up in the bed, alone. you were so sheltered your entire life, never knowing what was out there. it was almost as if he felt the need to protect you at all times, every day, assure both you and him that nothing was going to happen to you.

you had no intentions of leaving the walls.

alexandria was your home, your safety. you'd never so much as seen a walker before and you didn't plan on it anytime soon.

so when the words, "so, are you going?" came out of your best friends boyfriends lips, you only stared in shock.

enid, your best friend could only roll her eyes at the boy. "she doesn't want to." she spoke for you. "y/n doesn't like going outside of the walls, you know this."

and yet, he pressed further. "come on, everyone's gonna bet there, this will be the biggest one yet." a party that the teenagers and some of the younger adults went to. it was beyond the walls, out past where you were supposed to be. if anyone were to ever find out, you'd all be killed. so, you kept your mouth shut in hoping that if someone did find out about the parties, you'd never be tied to it. it wasn't as if you'd ever gone to one. "your little boyfriend never lets you go."

ron anderson wasn't the fondest of your boyfriend. it was evident since the day they met that they didn't like each other. believe me, carl had as much of a distaste for the boy as he did him. "carl isn't the reason."

"then what is?" you shrugged your shoulders, glancing down at your shoes. "you never do anything with us, it's like carl is the only thing you care about."

manipulation at it's finest. harmless, though, right?

"what?" an evident frown came across your face upon the realisation that your friends weren't even all the way sure if you liked them. "i do care about you guys."

"then do something with us for a change." the fourth of the group chimed in, mikey was his name. "besides, carl's gone and it's not like we're gonna tell him. your secrets safe with us."

you didn't want to go.

yet somehow, you found yourself wound up exactly where you 'didn't want to be'.

it wasn't that you were worried what carl would think. truthfully, as much as you valued the boy's opinion, you would never let him boss you around and tell you what you could and couldn't do. carl accepted you for all the beauty, all the ugly and never so much as questioned your actions, only doting when you got hurt. you couldn't love someone more. and neither could he.

but when your friends announced that they thought all you cared about was carl, you couldn't help but feel the guilt swirl through your veins. you loved carl, adored even but you could have friends to.

worried that they'd think you didn't want to hang out with them anymore, you found yourself for the first time in your life, exiting the walls.

you knew it was wrong the moment you stepped outside.

carl's old discarded flannel did nothing to help you keep the heat inside your body. you held it close, hoping the scent of carl would overpower the scent of alcohol that filled your nose. "you okay?" enid was the only one who took notice of your stiff figure.

" 'm fine." was the answer you gave, whether or not it had been true. all your mind could travel to was your boyfriend. yes, you never wanted to leave the walls of alexandria in fear of the walkers but you also knew how much carl wished for you to stay behind the protective walls to.

and he was going to be so mad once he found out where you were.

you could imagine him walking onto the street where your house lay. he'd climbed in through your bedroom window thousands of times before, you left it open for him to enter at any stage of the day or night. now, he'd find an empty bed.

enid noticed the way your face was twitching, though. "you sure? i can stay with you, if you want." but you could see the way her eyes were trailing towards her boyfriend from the other side of the party.

"no, it's okay." the girl gave you a unconvinced face. "really, 'm okay, now go get your boyfriend."

but you weren't okay.

the anxious thought started over as soon as enid left your side. the party unfolded, stupid music playing in the background. surely, that would attract walkers? your hazy eyes looked from person to person. enid was sat atop ron's lap, kissing him. mikey was between two girls, grinning to himself with a bottle in his hands. various other teenagers having the time of their lives. one boy, ethan you thought the name was, was standing on top of a makeshift table, chugging cans until the table collapsed beneath him.

you couldn't bear the sight, nor the smell of alcohol or any of the worry that filled your lungs making it suddenly hard to breathe.

you could imagine the state this would end up in, should a walker make it's way here. the teenagers here were the same sheltered people you'd grown up with, they'd went to the school with you in alexandria, they'd never been beyond the walls. now, they had and they hadn't been hunted down by walkers yet so they didn't expect it to happen.

but what if it did?

none of them were fighters, none of them went on supply runs or so much as tried to deal with walkers before.

it was only a matter of time before something went wrong.

and you simply couldn't be here anymore.

your chest was heavy as you stood from your place on the ground, trying to make your way towards the woods, tripping over rocks and bottles as you went.

the forest was dark and hidden, no light source aside from the moon. you squinted your eyes, trying to see where you were going. you looked in front of you, suddenly not knowing whether to turn left or right.

had you even taken this road on the way here...?

sudden worry that you were going the wrong way. you couldn't hear the music of the party anymore, it was long gone and it had been your only way back there.

you were lost and if you didn't make it back to the party or alexandria soon, nobody would ever find you. that's what you told yourself, at least. carl would spend forever looking for you until one day, he'll stumble across your dead corpse, either half eaten or roaming around in the same clothes you'd worn that day, his flannel shirt hanging from your frame.

the thoughts caused your head to spin, obviously not taking much notice of the ground in front of you. you held your hands out as your foot tripped over a rock, you used them to catch whatever was in front of you, preventing your fall.

you grasped what you thought was a tree.

until you heard the groan of the dead.

it stared you in the eye, his own glazed over with a type of grey. blood surrounded his mouth, dead skin hanging from his body. he appeared to be missing a finger.

you yelped, falling backwards and straight onto your back. your head scratched itself off a rock, using your hands to straighten yourself back up when you noticed it hadn't just been one dead, but three.

they all turned to you, a sick hungry look in their eye as they began stalking forward, gugrles and groans leaving their mouthes as they found the food of that day.

you'd never seen one before though you knew they'd be horrid looking. you never expected the smell, though. the rotting flesh scent that filled your nose, certainly overpowering the scent of the flannel. their rotted teeth and lack of hair had you scrambling to find something, a rock, a discarded knife or twig, something to use as some kind of a weapon.

but the truth was, you'd been sheltered too long.

how were you ever supposed to pick yourself up out of something like this when you didn't know the first thing about walkers.

you would have accepted your faith with a scream, let them tear into your flesh because you were no help to anybody, including yourself.

you couldn't so much as weave your way away from three walkers, hopeless.

then the sight of a knife sticking into his head was in front of you.

blood spurted out, covering your clothes and the boy next to the walker. carl grimes with his infamous sheriff's hat along with the knife that he plunged into the walker's head. "what the hell are you doing out here?!" shock was evident in his voice, though he appeared to be alone. he whipped around, taking out both the other two walkers while you merely stared in shock.

the blood that spurted onto the ground as the final walker fell to the grass. your glassy eyes could still make out carl's boot stomping onto its head, squishing it and causing blood, insides and flesh to tear and fall.

carl was met with the sight of your glassy eyes staring up at him, fear-stricken expression.

he found himself rushing towards you.

"'m sorry, 'm so sorry, carl. i didn't― ron―" the words came out like a childish blubber, unable to form sentences as fat tears left your eyes, rolling down your flush cheeks.

"are you bit?" carl didn't care for the words you spoke, scanning your body, pushing your arm up to scan wherever he could. "did you hurt your―" he cut himself off as his eyes landed on the blood dripping from your forehead. "what did you do?"

the sound of his disapproving voice was enough for your breath to shake. "'m sorry." you kept repeating. "i just― please don't be mad at me."

finally the words that ached the back of your throat.

it seemed as though shock was the thing that fell across his face, wondering why you'd ever think he'd get mad at you for something like this. "hey, hey, 'm not mad, baby, c'mere." in the dead of night, through the trees, the boy took you into his arms, seating you onto his lap as the sobs emitted your mouth. he carefully drew circles on your back with the palm of his hand. "you're jus' scared, is all, you're okay, sweetheart." sweet nothings filled your ears, nothing but comfort against your skin.

you choked, blubbering as you pushed your face away from the crook of his neck. "the others― we have to warn them." though eyes still full of tears.

innocence had obviously still been deeply embedded into your brain. otherwise, you would have figured out by now that they'd known. "They know, baby." you looked at him with confusion. "saw a couple of them throwing rocks at a walker."

thoughts filled your brain, confused.

enid and ron told you that this was the safest party there was. and despite your obvious doubts about something so ridiculous, they'd assured you that no walker had ever been so much as seen where you would be going.

you felt a pang of betrayal set in your bones. not only at the fact that they'd lied but at the fact that these people you grew up with, very same innocence as your own, were using walkers like toys, pets even.

"come on, pretty girl." fingers working against your waist, gently soothing the skin. "let's get you home."

home. that sounded nice. "'kay." voice still slick with your earlier tears.

carl practically carried you all the way home. it wasn't until you were sat inside your bathroom, sat against the porcelain toilet while he crouched in front of you on the ground that the tears stopped. "'s gonna hurt." he warned.

you nodded, fingers holding around his own hand while the free one used a cotton pad filled with rubbing alcohol to disinfect the wound.

you winced, glass glossing over again. "i know, sweetheart, i know." pretty words falling from his lips as he cared for you like no other human being would ever be capable of doing. "jus' gotta get it done, yeah?"

and he did just that, quickly disinfecting the wound before grasping the gauze. your eyes were open, staring forward at his pretty face in front of you. he looked tired enough but he usually did with his sunken eye and tired perplexion. you always said it was because he wasn't eating enough. that was the thing about carl, always forgetting to take care of himself in the simplest of ways.

but you? no, he couldn't possibly forget a thing.

" 'm sorry." you'd said it before, but you couldn't express it enough.

carl slowly retracted his hands from your face, sighing gently. he moved his hands back up, only this time they cupped your cheeks instead of dusting your forehead. "what you did was stupid." you nodded in agreement. "you should know better, what's out there should stay out there and you should stay in here, where it's safe." you didn't bother explaining the situation, knowing it'd been you who decided to leave, ron didn't decide that for you. "you're lucky today didn't end worse."

"i know." voice cracking as your eyes gazed down upon the tiled ground of your bathroom where carl crouched.

he lifted your face up with his left hand, tilting his head slightly. "but that doesn't mean 'm mad at you, you know that, right?" you shrugged, supposing you didn't know that. "could never be mad at you."

"'m an idiot." you mumbled, attempting to look as far away from the boy as you could.

"a little." he grinned causing you to turn with a smile of your own. "'s okay, though. i'll do the thinkin' for you from now on, yeah?"

didn't seem like too bad of an idea.

main masterlist/carl's masterlist

[dearanakin]

Taste this Moment - Steve Harrington x f!Reader

Summary: You wake up next to Steve after having too much booze, without any memory of the night before. You have a secret behind your excuse of telling people you were a virgin.

Warnings: Slight mention of sexual abuse, smut, flufiness, cursing. 18+ DNI

Word count: 3.9k

You woke up with a crushing headache, the pain was pounding all over your head as you tried to adjust your sight to the light coming from the window.

You had just realized you were laying on a bed that wasn't yours, along with someone who seemed to be deep into their sleep on your side.

There was a party the other night you went to with your friends, everyone included besides the kids, obviously. You knew you had a lot of alcohol, but now you weren't sure how you ended up there.

Only then you noticed you were wearing your lingerie and nothing else, the body next to you moved and you realized it was Steve Harrington.

Oh shit, what have you done? You let a groan out of your mouth as Steve uncovers himself, leaving his bare hairy chest on sight.

He was only wearing his boxers and it came to you the only possible answer to that was something you were definitely not expecting to be.

If it happened, how would you feel knowing your first time was with Steve and, on top of that, you couldn't remember shit?

You looked at each other trying to collect memories from the night before but it was just all blank. Fuck. You let out an ironic chuckle and he raised his eyebrow to you.

"Did we have sex? Because I don't remember a thing. And shit, this is beyond fucked up", you say as you start looking for any piece of clothing only to find a t-shirt that wasn't yours.

"I'm not sure", he said as he gets up and starts looking for his own clothes.

"Okay Harrington, but what could've made us do that besides the alcohol?".

"Uh, ouch?", he looked at you and mourned. "Am I not good enough for that?"

"I didn't mean it that way. I want to know what lead us to Nancy's bedroom", you couldn't find any pants in there so you went to the wardrobe, but you didn't want to steal them.

"This isn't her room", his tone could barely be heard and you scoffed.

"So we fucked. In a bedroom that isn't hers. What else?", you try to stay focused on not snapping.

"I don't think this not being her bedroom is the issue here, (Y/N). Now, how are you so sure we had sex?", he fixed his hair in front of the mirror and stared at you through it.

You were almost naked, sure. But you and Steve didn't even have a thing, you never kissed. You never even had a date. You were just friends, not that close, even.

Why, on earth, would you have sex in someone's bedroom either way?

"Our clothes are missing, for starters. We had a lot of alcohol, most people become vulnerable when they drink a lot", you explained.

"I'm pretty sure I would remember having sex. I always wear protection", Harrington sounded like he was somewhat hurt.

He started looking for his wallet but his jeans weren't even there. Maybe he was actually making a good point.

"So tell me. Why would it be so terrible to have sex with me?", he asked as he sat on the bed.

"It's because I've never actually had sex before", you couldn't even look at him. You thought he would laugh at you, make fun of you.

"Ohhh", he responded. "Well, if it's any comfort, sometimes first times aren't even that good".

"That doesn't help shit, Steve!". You worshiped your body too much to fuck someone else, or do that anywhere at any time.

"Shit. I'm sorry, really. I don't think we really did it", he made sure he was comforting you.

You were about to cry. You were too sentimental, you didn't want your first time to be like that. He isn't the problem, the situation is.

"Promise you'd wear protection?", you ask shyly. He gives you an honest chuckle.

"I always do. That's not an issue for me", he reassured you.

Somehow you found yourself feeling softness for him, for the way he usually treats other girls and the way he was being gentle to you.

"I'm sorry I overreacted", you bit your lower lip and he gave you a side smile.

"That's fine. I understand how people care for their first time", Steve rested his hand on your shoulder.

After a while you found your clothes drying in the backyard, which made you both confused, actually. Nancy explained you both and other people jumped in the pool at some point.

You slept with your lingerie because that was the only piece of clothing that dried faster. She also told you Steve slept with you because you were feeling sick.

But still, you couldn't remember a thing from the other night. Neither did him, he just wasn't feeling sick because he was used to having a lot of alcohol.

He made a mental note to not ever drink that much anymore.

"You keep my shirt on. It looks good on you anyway", he said before you changed the fabric.

You couldn't hold a smile at him and he mirrored you.

"I'll give it back soon".

♥️♥️♥️♥️

You arrived at the Family Video holding his folded shirt and a few VHS you had rented. It was a Monday morning and the place always had a few people in.

Steve and Robin were working hard already and they barely saw you coming. But as soon as he crossed eyes with you, he made a gesture meaning he would be with you in a moment.

Harrington stood against the counter as you placed the tapes above it along with his clothing.

"Thank you. How were the movies? Did you like the teddy bears?", he asked playfully. He knew he was making an old joke.

"They're Ewoks. And Star Wars is amazing. You should watch it sometime", you laughed.

"Maybe we could make a movie night with the others and watch it", he offered.

"That sounds like a good idea", you smile.

"I was wondering if we could meet for lunch. I've got a few things I remember from the other night". Steve looked a bit shy, especially knowing how weird it was when you woke up next to each other after too much alcohol.

"Uh, I thought Nancy explained you took care of me because I was sick?", you were beyond confused.

"Yeah, you were. But there were some other things. Don't worry though, they're not about you being.. you know".

"If you say so. I'll meet you at the diner then", you smiled before waving him goodbye.

It was 20 past midday when you entered the diner and spotted him sitting on a table close to the door. He was sipping on a cup of soda as you approached him and took a seat.

Steve was actually practicing how he would start this conversation without being too invasive. His memories were a bit foggy but he remembered something really important you told him. And it was actually about your sex life.

He didn't realize he spent about a minute dozing off, only to see you snapping your fingers in front of him.

"Vecna caught you there?", you try to make a dry joke and he rolls his eyes. "I'm sorry, I got carried away".

"Those bats almost ate me alive, alright?", he sounded offended but he let that go. "Look, the reason we actually woke up together was because I took you there so you could rest".

"You were really drunk, almost passing out on the toilet after you threw up, so I took you there. We were already wet from the pool so I just didn't care about the underwear, really".

You were paying attention to the details, you could barely remember anything from that night, not even vomiting your guts out from the booze.

"But when I put you in the bed, you started rambling about some guy you met in high school. I figured, since we were there alone, maybe you thought we were going to get some right there. You said he was nice to you but he.. corrupted you", Harrington were careful with the words as he tried to gather every little thing.

But for you, inside, it was like all the flashbacks from that day in middle school rushed back into your head. There was a reason you said you were a virgin to any guy you were about to get laid with.

There was a reason you were so defensive about your body when you realized you were in a bedroom with him.

And worse, you didn't remember anything. It was enough already to have been defenseless in a position you didn't want to anymore. The way that guy used to touch you made your skin crawl.

"Hey, are you okay with me telling you that? I mean, I can stop. I figure you already know what I'm talking about", Steve grabbed your hand carefully.

He was gazing at you with an intense look of compassion and it made your heart flinch. Not romantically, but because that was something you cherished about a guy.

"I, uh, I think it's fine. Did I talk about it too much?", you felt your eyes burning over the tears that wanted to fall but you held them back.

"You said he didn't take care of you. Said he made it feel like it was some kind of porno or something". Steve was an adult and that, for him, sounded pretty much like some disgusting weird kink.

Something he was never actually interested in, never actually found of. It hit you like a train wreck that you would say too much about something so personal to him, but you couldn't control the alcohol in your blood back then.

But the way he was reacting to it, and how he was talking about it made you realize he was too mature. It would actually make you feel less heavy from how you used to.

"Yeah. Gosh, that was like almost 8 years ago. I didn't tell many people about it. I went to therapy for a long time, but I guess that's something we don't get over with", you gave him a sick smile.

He was still rubbing your fingers with his thumb, just listening to you.

"You didn't seem like it. But I wasn't going to mention it to anyone either way. I just thought it would be decent if I let you know", Harrington was being such a gentleman to you and it melted you.

"Where have you been all my life, Steve?", you ask jokingly, but it catches him off guard as he smiles, shy.

"If you knew me back then, you'd see how much of a dick I was. Never to the point of being disgusting like that. But in more of a douchebag way", he responded and you both laughed.

He gave you a ride to work and it felt like the entire drive was filled with some embarrassment. It was too much of intimacy in such a short period of time there.

"Call me if you need a hero", he said before you left the car, giving you a smirk.

♥️♥️♥️♥️

You spent the entire week thinking about what in the holy hell made you remember that terrible, disgraceful day. It had distracted you most of the time, because you surely weren't intimate like that with Steve.

Maybe it was a sign of some sort of kind, maybe it was just because you can't keep your mouth shut when you drink too much. Either way, not remembering what you said gave you comfort. Because you didn't want to remember that.

You didn't want to replay it in your head again, how that day the guy you used to like made you feel like you were a playdoll. Worse than that, you didn't have a voice to stand out, so you let that happen.

It struck you how many guys you've met after that and, although they were really charming, polite and caring like Steve is, they couldn't get through you. They couldn't make themselves cross the other line, you never let them.

Maybe you shouldn't be thinking about how much you wanted to be taken care of by Harrington at that moment, but you were. You didn't give a shit if he wasn't going to make a big deal out of it, but you liked the idea.

You liked to think that, unlike you were thinking, he would definitely accept it and give you some comfort. Hell, even Eddie would, but you weren't thinking about him.

If you were to honestly give yourself to someone, maybe he was the better choice after all.

He made sure to check on you the past days, which made you feel soft for him. You laughed at your own thoughts. You never even looked at Steve that way.

When Friday came, you invited him over to have dinner and watch a movie. You were trying to introduce him to different genres and you were about to watch Lord of the Rings.

You lost track of time because you weren't actually paying any attention to the TV anymore, but you were also trying not to be too obvious.

"So that's Mordor Eddie was talking about. I had no idea he was-", Harrington cut himself as he caught you looking at him, you didn't have time to deviate. "What?", he chuckled.

"What, what?", you retorted, trying to look naive.

"Do I have something on my face?", Steve tried not to blush, because he noticed you WERE staring at him, like, deadly.

"Not that I can see". You were obviously not responding well to this. He moved his torso to face you and you started to burn.

"What happened?".

"What, can I not look?", you tried to be defensive and he smiled.

"Yeah, no, you're just looking too much", he was not cooperating. He didn't have any intention to either way. "Do you like the view at least?".

That caught you off guard and your face went as red as it could. You flushed so hard, you didn't have time to digest when he grabbed your chin.

"There's something that really gets me. It's how you always easily blush at things", he pointed out and your face started to burn. "Not that I look intensely like you do, but I notice it".

"Where are you getting at?", you question as you miscalculate his route and stares at him facing you only a few inches.

"Can I?", he whispered as he got closer to your mouth. Your entire body was now on fire and you felt your hands sweating. Holy mother of God, what is that?

Your buzzing ears didn't let you hear yourself when you agreed, but the way he tasted like beer left you lightheaded for the first few seconds. His cold tongue from the liquid explored yours and you shivered under his touch.

The hand that was once on your chin now rested against your cheek, as his other one grabbed your neck. He was definitely going to feel your skin shiver, but what the hell could you do?

Your mouths were in sync as you deepened the kiss and you couldn't express how you were feeling inside. It was obviously something you needed, mostly because you haven't kissed in a while. You just couldn't open yourself with ease for anyone.

Steve was soft, he would grasp your tongue between his teeth and roll his tongue around yours with tenderness. His cologne was beyond strong and it got stuck in your nostrils, making you crave for his taste even more.

He didn't want to rush you into anything, considering he knew your past, he didn't feel like he wanted to make you do anything unless you wanted to. But you really wanted to. You were craving for it and your core made sure you wanted it.

You started crawling above his body and sat with your legs across his, still moving your lips now feverishly. Harrington only stopped it halfway because he was surprised with your attitude.

"Are you sure?", he asked, his hands now both holding your waist. His soft brown eyes facing you with both desire and kindness. You nodded and he deepened the kiss once again.

You were the first to make him take his shirt off, still impressing you how his hairy chest was some piece of heaven. Not only did he notice you were eating him with your eyes, but he made sure to get rid of your own shirt.

The good thing about you sitting on his lap is that it was harder for him to get a boner, because you were pressing against his member.

He didn't have time to think of anything else before you snapped your lips against his again.

Steve was panting, his husky voice mumbling shy groans as you craved for each other. This time he rolled you around the floor, where your blankets were, and used his hands to travel against your warm body.

The heat between you grew alarming when you stared at his hard crotch, pressed against his jeans, begging to be loosen asap.

You grabbed it without warning and you heard him gasp against your mouth, your core flinching at his sounds.

Your soft but out of rhythm rubbing made him thrust against your hand, he was starting to lose his mind, and you noticed you didn't want this to wait any longer. You just needed to feel him, you needed to feel his warmth.

He gently stripped your sweatpants off and gave you sweet kisses on your inner thighs, across your stomach, your chest, until he reached your mouth.

You were out of breath just by the feel of his lips on you. He took his jeans off and gave you a dirty smile when he caught you looking, your cheeks were red by the sight of his cock.

You gave him a handjob before he could take his boxer off, he gasped for air as he just enjoyed your touch against his throbbing arousal, rubbing his hands against his hair.

The way he reacted to you made you feel like you were deserving, it made you feel like you were actually meaning something in this moment.

Steve wasn't a sex addict, he really enjoyed fucking, but this time with you was overwhelming, it was heart warming.

He leaned over to take your bra off and kissed you all over, nibbling on your skin as he threw the fabric away, which made you laugh. Steve was trying to make you feel comfortable, he needed to make sure you felt like you could trust him and not be afraid of him.

He didn't know your limits, he wasn't sure if he could eat your nipples like he wanted to, so he just kindly sucked on each and heard you deflate your lungs with all the air.

You arched your back when his cock rubbed against your core, both of you trying not to make obscene sounds.

"God, Steve", once again you melted down at his touch and he hummed. His tongue lingering on your nipples as he squeezed your tight harshly, his short nails digging on your skin.

When you couldn't take it anymore, you took your lingerie off while watching him do the same with his underwear after getting his wallet. Your heart fluttered at his action, it was adorable to see him show it off for you.

"Just to make sure", he stated as he started to wrap himself up. Harrington leaned on you again, placing his hard cock over your cunt, slightly spreading your slit.

"Are you okay with this?", he asked. You weren't really processing everything clearly and, again, you just nodded. "I'm not going hard on you", he warned you.

His tip gently entered your walls as you hissed against his ear. Steve didn't even want to hold back his moan as he dug into you fully. He just wasn't one to actually surpress his emotions and his vocals made sure of it.

The entire room was filled with soft noises and moans as he thrusted you kindly. Steve wanted to enjoy every inch of your core, but the pleasure of doing it so slowly actually made you flinch against him.

He let out a lout groan and it sent shivers down your spine. You couldn't remember the last time it was so delish, because you didn't want to remember the last time you actually had proper sex. It was probably just some banging out of your own frustration.

It was different with him, though. Because now that he knew about your trauma, he wouldn't want to do it roughly, he wanted you to remember his touch.

You felt like you were losing your mind with the sharp breath and the panting, your sweat mixing with his, the sound of skin on skin loudly echoing in the room.

Harrington started pounding on you faster but still wanted you to feel every inch of his cock, your walls clenching every time he would hit a spot with his tip.

He wrapped one of his hands arond yours as he kissed you, muffling his hums.

Your sloppy kisses became feral as his thrusting started to deepen and race even more. You felt your body was ready for the impact, because his skin was deliciously rubbing against your clit, your hips involuntarily thrusting against his.

"Yes, Steve", you whispered close to his ear and he hissed against your warm and sweaty skin. He held one of your thigs around his arm as he pounded on you harder.

His face was flushed, his hair was messy and sweat was dripping from his chest.

The way you looked at him was triggering enough for you to reach your release. It was ten times better than you expected, it was a out of breath climax you've never experienced before.

You buried your nails against his arm and he flinched with your touch.

"God, I'm coming", he groaned as he started to gush against himself inside you. You were both panting as Harrignton kept his cock inside of you, leaning against you just to give you a comfort kiss.

Your kiss was now passionate, slow and gentle. He rested his hands on your waist while exploring your mouth. You could still feel your cunt throbbing and you were feeling too tired from the way you were breathing.

You noticed how good his shampoo smelled and decided you could live like this forever. If you could picture a moment like that before it even happened, you wouldn't believe it would be so great like it was.

He pecked your lips before leaving your body and got rid of the protection. Before leaving, he made sure he covered your body with one of the blankets, making you smile with the action.

He only dressed his underwear and sat next to you after you put on his shirt. It's become your thing now, just wear his clothes whenever they're thrown around. He stared at you for a moment and you chuckled.

"You said it looked good on me", he nodded. Steve wrapped your neck around his arm, resting your head on his shoulder before rewinding the movie so you could actually watch it.

When you invited him over, you weren't sure he would want the same thing as you. But it turns out that, even if he didn't, now he would want more of that. And not because he feels sorry for you, but because he has a soft spot for you.

[yuujispinkhair]

Slacker

Pairing: Kaeya x Reader (female) Genre: fluff Word Count: 700 Warnings: None. This is just fluff with some kisses and suggestive comments. All characters are of age. Minors don't interact.

My dear friend @moraxsthrone was in need of some Kaeya fluff, and I thought this was the perfect opportunity to try writing for Kaeya for the first time! I hope this little drabble can make you smile, Kel!! I am sending you lots of love and lots of kisses from Kaeya!! I love youuu 💙

"Didn't know you were such a slacker! Hurry up, princess, or I will leave you behind!"

You roll your eyes at the comment, about to flip Kaeya off good-naturedly when your feet decide at that moment to finally give up on you, and you tumble gracelessly to the ground, landing in the mud with a surprised screech.

You blink in confusion, looking up at the stunned expression on your travel companion's, friend's, lover's... or whatever he is, face. It's almost comical to see Kaeya's expression go from playfully annoyed to surprised to worried.

He is in front of you in a split second, the hectic look in his uncovered blue eye telling you how freaked out he is. "Shit! Are you ok, princess??"

A chuckle finds its way out of your mouth. You must look so ridiculous, sitting with your ass in the mud, grinning like a lunatic, but you can't help it. The whole situation is so hilarious to you. You are at your physical and emotional limit. Have been for days.

The travel has been much more challenging than you expected, and by now, every muscle in your body aches from walking so long and getting into so many fights. It was only a matter of time before you snapped. But you didn't really expect it like that. Usually, you end up ugly-crying and not laughing your ass off.

It must be Kaeya's influence. His presence is what has kept you going for weeks. The playful banter, the teasing, the flirting. Time passes so much faster when he is with you. And the inconveniences of traveling become less draining when Kaeya is there to kiss it better every night.

And now you are sitting in a puddle of mud, laughing as you cock your head and ask Kaeya in the same teasing tone he always uses,

"What happened to leaving me behind? I thought you had somewhere urgent to be?"

You know you are being a little shit right now, but it's only fair, isn't it? And you just feel too pleased with seeing that worried expression on Kaeya's usually so aloof face. It makes you feel so warm somehow. Seeing how much he cares. Seeing how important you are to him.

Kaeya shakes his head,

"Are you kidding me? Do you really think I will just let my girl lie in the dirt?"

He huffs dramatically, rolling his pretty blue eye as he reaches down to grab your hand firmly and pull you to your feet.

"Come on, get up!"

The worry is gone from his face and voice, hidden behind another lazy grin and an amused twinkle in that pretty blue eye. But the way Kaeya pulls you against his tall, firm body and wraps his arms around you, tells you all you need to know.

You chuckle again, feeling a bit delirious as you press your face against Kaeya's chest when you feel his strong arms tightening around you, hugging you to him, helping you stand, making sure you are ok.

The warm feeling in your chest grows even more intense, filling you with a comfort you haven't felt around anyone else in a long time. The comforting feeling of knowing that Kaeya would never leave you behind.

Your cheeks hurt from grinning so broadly as you lift your head to say,

"So, I'm your girl, huh?"

"Oh, shut up!"

"Why don't you make me?"

You can see the moment when Kaeya loses his little personal battle of trying to hold back his laughter, lips trembling before he bursts out laughing loudly.

"Can't believe you're using my lines against me now."

It's said in an amused whisper but laced with a certain seductive edge you know all too well.

And before you can retort anything, one of Kaeya's hands cups your chin, his thumb stroking lightly over your bottom lip as he tilts your face further up. The warmth in your chest is a hot throbbing by now. Your eyelids flutter closed just as Kaeya's soft lips land on yours in the first of many kisses he will give you tonight.

Thank you so much for reading! This was my first time writing for Kaeya, and I had so much FUN!! I hope the characterization was ok! Comments and reblogs would be very sweet!

@moraxsthrone my sweet Kel, I hope this is what you had in mind!! I am hugging you!!

[rayssion]

Let's chat about Magnus Chase and the gods of Asgard!!

So not me saying 'tomorrow' then proceed to delay that tomorrow for as long as possible, not my fault though! Each time I decide to write the review people just be like "oh, look at her, she seems at peace, let me just go.... Annoy her" that's my family summarised btw.

But yeah, we're finally here!

First off, the general rating for me is 4.5 for the entire series.

Now let's talk about somethings:

As a matter of fact, there's nothing I hate in this books like wth why dose it have to be this good??? Which translates to: I'm just going to fangirl, that's it, just FANGIRL.

I also want to establish that I didn't know not even a single thing about Norse mythology before reading these books. I didn't even know what Norse meant guys, I'm hopless like that. And even after they explained them a little my brain is still stuck at the "they're fancy vikings" setting lol I'm sorry.

So my whole Norse "knowledge" comes from, you guessed it, how to train your dragon🤡. It's bad, I know I know, yet it's still a start right? Like dude I never watched any Thor movie before (in my defense, it's not horror, and I enjoy horror) so just to put it simply, I don't know shit about Norse mythology.

Which is good btw!! Me not knowing anything about the mythology is actually good to measure how much Rick is good at explaining things that are totally new.

The first book took me two days to finish because it's like an introduction, so there were many new words and terms that my small brain couldn't keep track with, so I suppose you can really enjoy the series as a reread more than first time reading. Guys, it took me days to learn how to pronounce ginunngagap. So unless you already have a background on Norse mythology (not jumping into the books like stupid me) I feel like one's can't see the books true potential.

Alright, so we laid the ground about me being an uncultured swine, now we have the writing: we got the classic Rick's first person pov writing style that he went for in the original series pjo. But I got to note that it clearly improved, I can see that he was trying to step out of narrator Percy's shadow as he wrote mcga and toa, seeing that he wrote Magnus as an oblivious kid who's trying to stay out of everyone's business as much as he can, and he wrote Lester with no heroism in him whatsoever at the start. So clearly he wanted something to add contrast and volume to his universe and that's quite good. He achieved his goal with toa much more than in mcga in my opinion. Magnus, as lovely as he is, still finds time to roast people the good old Percy Jackson way, in other words you can see the resemblance between the two characters at some points. (I didn't include tkc because for me, Sadie and Carter are like Percy devided into two people, the fierce rushy personality went with Sadie, and the trying-to-pretend-to-be-calm-so-as-to-improvise-a-plan personality went with Carter, yet the two of them can be be snarky at their times).

To be Frank with you guys, not much of a character development happens during the books, I mean yes, Sam stands against her dad, and we get Amir into the picture, but yeah that's it. I guess the character who got the most change was Randolph, we love a little remedy arc at the end.

Oh other thing I like to point, Muslims don't call mosques you know "mosques" we call them Masjids (Masjid, sing.) I see it's a little slip but I prefer if it never happened, because mosque actually means "house of mosquito" so, yeah.

We also have the matter of Sam's hijab, I'd like to say that's not how being a hijabi works but I don't want to start a religious war here. Let's just say, you don't just wear your hijab when you want and not wear it when you don't want. What's the point then, if I can easily just go with my head uncovered? But we're not having this conversation, most of you won't be interested in this anyways.

And another thing! I've seen all these fanarts of Alex in the wedding dress (because I'm a sucker for Alex) and I wanted to point out, Alex was disguised as Samirah, Samirah is Muslima so her wedding dress would be, you know, Muslim friendly? Idk. But yeah, it should at least be ancle lengthed with high neck and long sleeves and the veil must be thick to cover her hair, like a hijab. Also it should be wide/big a little not clenching to her body. Just a little advice for artists there :).

Now that we spoke about Sam, can we talk about Alex? Tbh I like, knew nothing about genderfluidism(?) before this book (I read it on some blogs here on Tumblr and I imagined something totally different so I'll spear you my pathetic story) so it was nice learning new things with Rick. Like bro, in my head Alex is mostly a boy yet when I rant to my aunt I mostly use she/her. It confused the heck out of me during the first chapters actually. But I'm proud to say that I FIGURED OUT THAT LOKI WAS HER/HIS MOM LIKE BY MYSELF WAY BEFORE THE BIG REVEAL SO YEAH I'M HELLA PROUD.

I love Alex. Nothing else to say, I'm infatuated.

And yet if I'm infatuated with Alex then I'm fucking ready to die for Magnus at any given time! The boy is just so adorable!! He's so sweet even if he's being sarcastic like I just want to kidnap him and keep him in my pocket forever! I wanna hug him and pat his back, ruffle his hair and kiss his forehead because he deserves it! I just love him guys! Everything about him is just so endearing even if he was being a coward he's still lovely! I know I'm not making any sense here I just want you to know that I'm head over heels for him. Also I wanted to say that one of the things I really admired about his character is that he's never the fighter, I love how everyone else would be plunging into the battle and he'd just stand there waiting for either a chance to bargain with the enemy or an injury that he must heal. I love how Rick went out of the line this time and chose a god that, tbh, we'd never hear about him on regular basis. Like in pjo we had our protagonist Percy, son of Poseidon who's one of the big three, tkc we have Carter and Sadie channelling the power of Hores and Isis, major gods and Hores is the king or the gods, hoo's heroes are kids of the Olympians and Apollo is like, an Olympian god himself. So it was a nice turn to have Frey a neutral god who's concern is to live in peace, having our protagonist's main power to be healing or like disarming people, nothing big or fancy, yet it fits so much! Like my boy just wants to live a simple quite life (with a transgender genderfluid partner if possible and practically canon gay parents) even when there's an enemy he's like "can't I just go stand there and then a miracle happens and I don't need to fight them anymore?" Gosh I love him.

Magnus and Lester are just so relatable and so average-human-coded that you can't help but love them!

And I liked how most of the characters are also lovable, like the whole floor 19? They're just the best family and I'd be so delighted to spend eternity with them (till Ragnarok at least) I really love their dynamics. And then we have Blitz and Hearth and oh boy how much do I love hearth! I was like that's my soulmate out there pretty much since he was introduced. I'm not joking guys, these people out there have one of the best found families ever.

I also wanted to note that I'm kind of a sucker for villains like especially those who are antihero much. So, confession time, I kinda liked Luke back in pjo, I liked Set in tkc, and like Apollo himself I might simped once or twice for the emprors. The thing I wanted to say is! First book I like liked liked Loki, ngl till the end I found him fancy. Like if he wasn't so much interested in Ragnarok and world ending and whatever I might even put him with my favourite characters. Like, why do villains have to be hot?? If you don't want me to simp then don't make them hot! (What am I doing guys, I must seek help wtf)

Another topic, people would be oohhh percabeth omg omg and I'd be awww big sister Annabeth is the best! Like have you seen those Annabeth and Magnus scenes??? Bro let me tell you I'm fucking dead, like they're the best cousins out there, like that's so cuttee!!

This's a p.s actually but I wanted to say another thing, about the ending of the ship of the dead, yes it was emotional, yes I teared up. But don't you guys feel like there's much more to it? Like I'm sorry but how could we not return to the fact that Magnus can talk to birds now (Disney Princess™)? Or how in the first place can he talk to them, hearth himself doesn't know if his father had the ability. Speaking about fathers, the visions that Magnus saw about Alex's father, are we just going to pass them like they never happened? Guys idk I feel like there are some plot holes that might be left intentionally (hopefully for a next book sometime) and I also feel like there's something wrong with the gods, like the last scenes we had with them, I might be paranoid but I really feel like Frey was hiding something. Anyways yeah, that's what I wanted to add.

So this barely covers anything from the feelings I had reading this series (because I'm a sensitive bitch who visibly tremble and scream while reading fluff) but yeah, I must hurry up a little, so next thing we have is a couple of screenshots I took cuz why not? Some of them might even be out of context but I like it.

So I was going to post them in different posts and tag them here and Tumblr just said NO ") so yeah ig.

Hope you guys enjoyed this review (which is me basically simping as always) I'm like 100 pages into tsats now, hopefully I'll come back to talk about it soon.

Have a nice day/night♡!!

[obsessedwrhys]

UNFORGETTABLE

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ Frank Woods takes you on a date at Burger Town (fluff, cursing, just reader and woods being a lovey dovey couple, reader is fem and also bell in this story, backstory will be explained using the plots of the campaign and seasons, reader experiences side effects from brainwashing, adler never shot bell in this fic!!)

ᯓ★

From being one of Perseus's trusted spies to working for the CIA, throughout your entire life you weren't sure who you really were.

However, it didn't take long for the truth of your past to slowly uncover itself when you and several others were tasked with taking down Stitch. From there that's when you learned your true identity.

Even then, you never felt like that person was you anymore, so you went on the rest of your life with a new name. Your own identity.

Despite the horrors in those events, some good managed to come out of it. You were able to score yourself a loving boyfriend.

Sure, he hates the soviets but you were a different story. Everybody deserves second chances right?

That's why during your mission at the USSR where you two were paired to infiltrate a russian base, he was absolutely baffled when you weren't familiar with the mascot of a famous restaurant he loved.

"Shit, it's Bubby! I fucking love Bubby!"

"Who's Bubby?"

"What?! You don't know who this is??"

"Uhh..."

And that was way before you guys started dating. After everything has settled down and that you two were blessed with free time, he decided it was only right to let you live your new life with a fresh start. That fresh start happen to be through the doors of the Burger Town entrance.

"I can't believe you managed to convince me to do this" You laughed as your boyfriend practically drags you into the place.

"You talk like I'm forcing you to join a cult" He said before letting you stand in front of him to queue up.

"Judging by how much you praise this restaurant, it might as well be" You joked which had him laugh.

"Oh yeah? And would you join if I asked you to?"

"Nope but I might turn you in for some cash" You responded which made him playfully grab you around the waist in an attempt to tickle you.

The second the customer at the front left, the two of you quickly stopped playing around and tried to act normal as it was your turn to order. You looked through the menu. So many interesting selection...

"Double Chili Time Bomb...?" You smirked at Woods who's standing over you. The two of you exchanging knowing glances at a shared memory.

"How about we leave that story in the past" He said almost like he's pleading you to forget it and you found it amusing.

"Because you mistaken a kid's backpack for a bomb and had everyone including me panic for no reason?"

"I didn't rest that well the night before okay. Now what are you gonna order?" He said and you looked back at the menu, going through each meal and being indecisive on which to choose.

There's so many...

But which one is ACTUALLY good?

Hm....

"Did you fall asleep?"

"Shhh" You waved at him dismissively to try to shut him up, but he ended up grabbing your wrist to place soft kisses on your knuckles.

"How about you go find us a seat and I'll order what you want" He said and you looked at him.

"You know I don't like—"

"I know"

"And I hate eating—"

"I also know that honey" He leaned in to place another kiss on your forehead.

"I did promise you a good meal so don't worry 'bout it" He spoke and you gave him a smile of gratitude. Feeling reassured, you eventually left to find an empty table to sit.

You're no expert but you're pretty sure you found a good spot. It's by the window and you guys get a good view of the streets. After a few minutes of waiting, you looked up to find Woods carrying a tray of the food he picked out. You could only watch in awe as he settle it down on the table before taking the seat in front of you.

"You ordered so much" You said.

"They're not all for me if that's your concern" He handed you your burger and you chuckle at his answer.

You remove half of the wrapper around your burger and just from the looks of it, it looked delicious, not to mention juicy. You then looked over at Woods who seem to be waiting for you to take your first bite. You couldn't help but struggle to contain a smile when you wondered how long he was staring at you.

"You look like Mary when she's waiting for us to feed her" You said, referring to your dog. An Australian Shepherd you two rescued from a shelter.

"Is that your way of calling me cute?" He asked with a cheeky smile. His confidence having you laugh.

"Shut up" You simply said but the smile on your face betrayed your words.

Not being able to wait any longer, you took a cautious bite of the burger. You kept chewing on the food but ended up pausing when you realised it was actually good. So he wasn't kidding. You thought and continued chewing but this time faster. Your act easily made Woods eyes light up in satisfaction.

"It's good isn't it?" He asks as he finally eats from his own burger.

"Its sow yummey" You said with a mouthful and he couldn't help but laugh at how adorable he found you in this state.

"Careful, I don't want you to choke" He grabbed a napkin and gently wipe the sauce off your cheek.

Taking his advice and also not wanting a heartburn. You took your time enjoying your burger and swallowing when you wanted to say something. At the same time, he was also enjoying his meal, he was leaned back and relaxed in his own seat.

"What did you get for yourself?" You asked before drinking from your straw. Your question made him look at you.

"Burger Town Classic Burger. You can't go wrong with the original"

"Can I try??"

"Only if I get a bite of yours"

"Deal"

Exchanging your burgers, you quickly took a bite of his and you couldn't help but melt at the taste. The sauce makes it so much better! Seeing you taking another bite, Woods couldn't help but chuckle.

"I'm getting the hint I'm not having my burger back" He said but you simply kept on eating, grabbing some fries while you're at it.

"Why didn't you take me here sooner?" You asked as he drinks from his shake.

"I would have if we weren't getting sent around on missions so much"

"Oh yeah...."

Right as you were about to take another bite, you felt a sharp pain from the front of your head. You wince as you grabbed at your forehead. This catching Wood's attention immediately.

"Shit... you okay?" Woods quickly stood up and was ready to rush to your side but you gestured him to stop.

"I'm good. Just an ache..." You rubbed your temples in an attempt to sooth the pain and it was slowly working.

Once he was sure you won't faint or fall over, he sat back down on his seat with his eyes still watching you cautiously.

"Is the medicine not working?"

"It is, Park just says it takes time since they dosed me with a lot of drugs, but the wait will be worth it..." You hold his hand from across the table to try to comfort him. His hands not hesitating to squeeze back.

It remained quiet for a while until he let's out a sigh. His tone indicating he was upset.

"... I'm sorry—"

"No... don't even start. You didn't know I was being experimented with. You don't owe me an apology"

"Okay..." He muttered but he couldn't bring himself to look at you. It was clear he still felt some sort of guilt from what happened.

Just then, you grinned when you remembered something.

"I never got to say, I still can't believe you beat up Adler when you found out. Mason told me you also punched Hudson when he tried to hold you back" You said, trying to change the mood of the conversation which worked because you could see the corner of his lips twitched slightly upwards.

"Yeah well if they hadn't stopped me I would have killed that son of a bitch" Woods said as he hesitated for a while before finally locking eye contact with you.

"Do you have any idea what you do to me? Fuck... the things I'd do for you..." He chuckles a bit, almost like he's in complete disbelief to the fact he finds it humorous.

You could only beam warmly at his words, feeling loved by the reminder of the memories you two shared.

"... thank you for always taking care of me" You said and it was enough to have him all flustered. He shakes his head slightly with an embarrassed smile.

"Don't thank me for something I'd do for you" He said. Then he reached out to tuck your hair behind your ear before resting his hand on your face to caress your cheek.

"Now come on, let's eat before the food gets cold" He said, reminding you of your burger that has been left unattended on your plate for so long.

"Ugh, I hate cold food"

"I know"

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

Poor Nanami. Hes got all problems rn (one kid uncondcious, two kids really really insisting they did the grand theft auto, one going throufh the most insane emotional journey possible)

I keep thinking about how in the same conversation Yuuta both asked Nanami to neglect him more (insanely concerning) and then also said hed kill himself in front of him (also insanely concerning) after like 5 hours ago going youre *not* my dad. Parenthood is tough.

Nanami, going onto r/Parenting for help with this shit:

I (27M) am the father of three. My eldest (16M) was recently introduced to my two younger children (15F & 14M) under less than ideal circumstances. They all seem to be getting along well—my eldest son and daughter already appear to be friends. My youngest son had to be hospitalized, and the eldest has developed a very protective bond with him. This is one of the issues—I’m harboring some concerns that he may kill the people who hurt my youngest in his defense.

I have a series of other problems that have arisen in the last twelve hour span:

First, my daughter recently stole a car to transport her brother to medical attention after discovering his injuries. My youngest now insists that he was the one who stole it, despite being blind and bleeding out at the time of the theft. How do I convince him that it was okay that the car was stolen and to stop distressing himself with trying to take the blame?

Second, my eldest went through a medical issue recently that destabilized his emotional control, likely contributing to his strong bond with my youngest and the homicidal thoughts. I'm attempting to get him to rest; however, this makes him feel like he's failing to protect my youngest. How do I convince him to rest and take care of his own needs?

Third, the same eldest told me that I’m not his father, asked me to neglect him more, and told me that he’d kill himself in front of me if I tried to discuss puberty with him. Our relationship is very new, and I believe he was being hyperbolic in many of his statements, but I want to communicate to him that he can safely come to me with any issues he may face. How can I best do this?

Fourth, I have recently uncovered reason to believe that my daughter is harboring an active fear that we may one day cut her off from her younger brother permanently. We are currently parenting them through a non-sexual, platonic polycule, and I decided that I was obligated to share this information with the others so that we may address it as a family. Now, however, she has been avoiding me, and I fear she may trust me less. How do I address both the breach in trust and the likely fears of abandonment? I only want her to be happy.

Fifth, my eldest appears to have a relationship of indeterminate nature with his four closest friends. They were all found sleeping in the same bed together, are rarely apart, and he spends most of his time with his best friend/possible romantic partner (15F), though they have gotten in several physical confrontations in the twelve hours I have known them. It is unclear whether their relationship is platonic, romantic, or queerplatonic in nature, though his best friend does appear to be making romantic overtures to my daughter. I obviously support whatever their nature may take (both due to my pre-existing personal opinions and the obviously unique nature of the relationship I have with my coparenting polycule), but I do believe that the answers may affect what topics should be covered in any discussion we may have on puberty and sexual wellbeing. Obviously, this talk is not happening any time soon, due to the aforementioned threat to kill himself in front of me if I attempted to discuss such topics, but I’d like to be prepared should the need arise. Does anyone have any recommendations on how to casually communicate that I support him in whatever form of relationship he finds himself in? Should I cover all of the bases when I give him the talk just in case?

I consider myself somewhat of a veteran parent (I have been raising children for more than a decade now), but these last twelve hours have surprised me with how taxing they've been. Has anyone encountered anything like this? Any advice will be appreciated.

Edit: My youngest had to be hospitalized because his extended family, who is not allowed any contact with him, kidnapped him and injured him to the point of hospitalization. This is not what I'm seeking advice on. We are more than capable of formulating our plans for revenge without the aid of strangers on the internet.

Second Edit: Please stop asking how I'm able to be the father of three teenagers at the age of 27. All of my children were adopted. No one needs to call the police.

Third Edit: My eldest had not yet met his younger siblings because he was only recently adopted under rather dire circumstances. The ex-boyfriend of a member of our coparenting group recently attempted to murder him (for reasons unrelated to the group), and then in the aftermath a different group attempted to force him into indentured servitude. We were looking to allow him time to adjust to his new circumstances before introducing him to his siblings.

Fourth Edit: Yes, I adopted my first two children when I was sixteen. This was not so much allowed as no one could stop us. I fail to see the relevance in this to the problem at hand; however, due to the influx of questions I have decided to provide the information anyway.

Fifth Edit: Yes, I was the poster who sought advice all those years ago regarding the young children that my upperclassman had somehow acquired. No, I still do not know where he got them from. It no longer matters, because we ended up keeping them and are raising them ourselves. Please direct all further comments to the actual questions asked.

[thegreymoon]

The Story of Minglan

I love Minglan, she is all of, what? 17 years old at this point? And she showed up at this farm for the first time and uncovered corrupt practices in a day.

If she had been born a man, she would have been running Song Dynasty China (if she could pass the Imperial exam due to her bad handwriting, that is).

***

LMAO, did she... did she just call the Emperor a hoodlum and a scoundrel? 😅

***

LMAO, his ridiculous ass is so willing to be poisoned to death if it means she is jealous 🤣🤣

Smack him, Minglan!! 🤣🤣

***

LMAO, that is not going to happen.

I think he doesn't realise yet just how screwed he is.

***

Wow, talk about digging your own grave.

Anyway, catch me watching c-dramas for the catharsis of seeing corrupt officials get their comeuppance.

***

WHAT???

I'M ANGRY TOO!! WHERE IS THE JUSTICE?? 😭😭

***

This is decidedly less satisfying than it would have been if they had been properly tried and punished by law 😠

***

You have plans to go against Gu Tingye in the future?

After he saved your fat royal backside?

Smh. Why can't you just retire in peace and enjoy a life of endless luxury without stirring up shit where it isn't needed?

So greedy and ungrateful.

***

Who?

Whose kid is this?

It can't be the old Emperor's, because his having no sons is what caused the entire succession crisis. The new Emperor's? In that case, what is she mad about? He was dirt poor just months ago, when could she have gotten so acquainted with luxury that she is complaining about cutbacks now?

***

Stirring up trouble where there is none, smh.

Fuck you.

***

LMAO, pretending to be stupid is also a skill, I suppose 😅

[thegodthief]

What do you find most exhausting about your practice? Conversely, what is the most fulfilling to you?

Earlier, I had quipped that the short answer to both questions was the same: "Solitude." If you will grant me the indulgence of explaining why I answered thus.

It is exhausting working alone for damn near everything. The pandemic made matters worse, but this has been a problem for me from the moment I began stubbing my toe on the rocks along this path. Trial and Error™ is the hallmark of the practitioner, but when you don't have the ability to have your work peer reviewed, then the errors stick around longer and the trials have a heavier cost. I'm always hiding a part of me from other magic users while I wait to see which one of their DNI categories I'm going to fall into, this time.

What I noticed pre-pandemic is that eclectic magic users were very welcome, as long as you were eclectic in the right (read: popular and/or mainstream) way. There is a reason one of my first posts here so long ago was a rejection of sisterhood with other witches who were trying to claim some sort of connection for no other reason that I was considering if I was even a witch in the first place.

Here and now, in the long tail of the pandemic, I haven't tried to attend any in-person events or ceremonies. They all seem to fall on a weekday and are prohibitively far from me such that I'll lose more than just the earnings of the day. Not to mention, that I don't know the people putting these things together, nor the people presenting at the shindig, nor the area that the event is happening in.

Online, it is not much better. The groups I see in the few servers I lurk in are well established and have mutual chains linking within and without the online spaces. It feels like watching a group of kids playing double-jump and they have been playing so long together that they have their own rhythm for jumping in and out of the rope because everything about the game has been shaped into a pattern that suits them best. And here I am, clunky, uncoordinated, not presenting as expected, and the group leader is telling me to jump in anytime but the moment I do, I snag the rope and the game (read: conversation) just stops.

I don't question if that online space was meant for me. If it was, I wouldn't be fucking up the game. I question if I'm meant for online spaces, and have quietly taken my leave from most servers. (waves hand) I am not the content creator you are looking for.

This leaves me with very few people that I can be weird with. That I can ask a "deep question" to. That I have been trying very hard not to abuse with my single-minded focus, because one of the hardest things I have had to realize lately is that I am considerably Not Normal™ when it comes to wooish shit, because I don't think that even the Big Name Practitioners™ think about or try wooish shit as much as I do. Very often, their social media feeds (public and/or quasi-public) are 90% Everyday Life™ that you see for anyone else in that general area or demographic and an occasional Now This Is What I Call Magic!™.

There isn't anyone else like me, which is probably very good for everyone else, but is really fucking shit for me.

But, that same solitude is also very fulfilling for me. Because I do try the Weird Shit, and I do poke at the thing that most folks on my dash are concerned about poking at, and I get to work the ritual that takes advantage of my single-minded focus, and on occasion, I get shit done. It means that I don't have someone annoyed that I'm staying up late to do the thing for the tenth night in a row, or that when I put a jar in the fridge labeled "Not For Human Consumption" that it will remain where I put it no matter how many months days I go back to finish the rite I started.

It means I don't have to ask permission (or forgiveness) for deviating from the plan, because the plan was always going to be uncovered as I went anyway. It means that when I plan the purchases for the rite, that I don't have to add a "pinch" tax for when someone else decided to help themselves to the ingredients before the rite and takes just a "pinch" for themselves.

It means that I progress according to the work I'm putting in, and if something takes me a few years months to understand, then that's okay, and if someone takes me a few hours days to master, then that's also okay, and I'm not trying to force myself to work through my shit on someone else's timing, and that's hella okay.

But then, like the ouroboros, I wind up back where I started. I have this neat trick, this personal understanding, this alternative way of working this jar I picked up, and I want to talk about it with someone because that's one of the better ways for me to truly understand what I'm doing and what I've learned, but because this little thing I have doesn't have an accepted lineage, source, book reference, BNP recommendation, then I'm no different from amulet-chasers.

You'd think that having a personal blog of my own would make this easier. After all, having a space independent of advertisers and/or corporate interference means I can say what I want. But who is reading? Who was reading? With all that has happened (and continues to happen), my posts have dwindled to nigh nothing, and Tumblr remains the only space where I am active.

I don't know how to break the cycle.

This was very likely not the answer you were expecting. But it is the only one I have to give. My apologies.

[thedawningofthehour]

How did the search for Galois in Chapter 33 go for both sides (Draxum and his side looking for Galois after he was captured and Leo and his side when Galois got away from them/evaded Raph)? Who was the most calm, who was the most hysterical, etc.? Did Leo lash out at anyone on his side in particular/blaming them? Did Draxum?

Hmm, I'm trying to think back now to what Draxum and co were doing during the chapter. The fact that I never write this shit down is gonna kill me one day, I swear.

So after Draxum's team regrouped and Cass and Tigerclaw told him what happened, Draxum probably had some...choice words for Tigerclaw. And for everyone else, but they were keeping their distance and he wasn't lashing out at anyone in specific, just anyone he saw. He was probably close to hysterical even before the Phone Call, but the whole thing with Leo parading his victory and verbally attacking him, (which he knew was absolutely deserved and that made it even worse) the sound of Galois screaming for him, hearing Splinter's voice and knowing Donnie's real father was with him-if he wasn't so practical he probably would have attacked Tigerclaw. But he needed to find his kid.

I think I had Tigerclaw and Cass take two of the people they were with to search while Huginn was with the other three, because Draxum trusts none of his allies and thinks they're all secretly planning to take his son and sell him off or whatever. He didn't trust them not to hurt Cass if left alone with her either. (Huginn's harder to injure so he didn't really care) He went off with just Muninn so he could cover more ground and because he'd probably murder anyone else he was around. (Muninn kept his beak very firmly shut) He knows the rough area of the lair but as a show of respect to Donnie's final wishes he never uncovered the exact location. Which he regretted, after sending out search parties to scour the hundreds of miles of sewer tunnels under Manhattan.

Cass probably went into Full Chaos Mode and was ready to destroy any turtles or rats or stupid humans with bats she came across-after making sure her little brother was unharmed. Tigerclaw, he's a professional, he's good at keeping his cool. He kept Cass from breaking her neck and generally balanced her out, they made a pretty good team. Both the gargoyles were seconds away from breaking into tears, but they choked it down. There were several instances where Gale almost came across a search party looking for him, but swam away because he heard voices and assumed it must have been the turtles.

Draxum was completely frantic. Galois was scared and potentially injured and Draxum was terrified by what Leo and the fam might be able to do to the memory spell. He's very confident that it's secure by now, but in Donatello's old home surrounded by Donatello's family and Leo being given ample time to work his machinations-he already has nightmares of the spell unwinding, he can only deal with them by telling himself that they're complete paranoia. If Leo gave them weight, Draxum's heart might give out.

He 100% cried in the shower afterwards.

On the fam's side, let's see, Raph and Splinter searched together so I must have had Leo and Mikey as the other search party, since April stayed back in case Donnie stumbled back in or Draxum found the lair. (she probably called several people to help search, but Leo was in such a state that he just didn't remember anything afterwards)(plus there was the whole 'Donnie is ready to murder and a bit feral right now and he might legit try to kill anyone who corners him' to contend with, so April wasn't a good candidate for engaging) She was probably kind of a mess of everything. Anger, crying, denial. She wouldn't remember much of this either.

Unfortunately, I feel like Splinter would really detach after all the kids were home safe. He'd be good during the initial search, keeping everyone on-task and staying relatively calm, but after realizing that he'd really lost Donnie again he just...shut down. Probably spent the next couple of days staring at the wall. Raph would have accepted defeat first out of everyone and set to taking care of his remaining family, like he does in the movie. Mikey and Leo were the ones who had to be physically stopped, because they would have kept searching until they collapsed. Mikey cried a lot. He still has bouts of crying over it, honestly.

Leo, though, Leo was in an absolute frenzy. He'd planned this out for weeks, and he thought it was all but foolproof. He thought he was entirely in the clear once they got Donnie in that blanket. He'd really believed that the ordeal was over and Donnie was back home for good-and then that was snatched away. He lost his brother again, and he had no more aces up his sleeve. That was his best plan, and it still didn't work. He was completely out of everything, ideas and energy and lies he told himself, and he still didn't have Donnie.

He was nasty. Yelling at everyone, hitting and biting anyone that tried to get him to give up. He was the last one home, and I think I mentioned this but they literally had to sedate him because he was acting so erratically Splinter was legitimately afraid he was going to hurt himself or someone else.

Nobody held it against him. They knew they'd probably react the same in his shoes.

[writer-in-theory]

Seven Foot Wave, Six Feet Under — steddilly.

Summary: Dating Eddie and Steve had its perks—namely having access to Nancy Wheeler's investigating skills whenever Billy wants. When they uncover the truth about the dark past of the Hargrove family, it's clear to Steve, Eddie, and Billy that there's only one choice left: Neil Hargrove must die. Prompt: B2 - Free Space Pairing: Steve Harrington/Billy Hargrove/Eddie Munson Rating: Mature - Rated M for Murder Word Count: 5.4k Content Warnings: Mild Language, Descriptions of Murder, References to past abuse, Canon Divergence, Post-S3 but Everyone Lives, Homophobic Language (one slur from Neil), Drowning Also Read On AO3: Here A/N: I never thought I'd write a fic like this, but I'm so excited to share it with y'all. This is my third entry for @harringroveson-bingo for my free space. Once again, as always, a huge thank you to @serenity-lattes for headcanoning, beta-reading, and being a cheerleader for this fic all along the way. Seriously, this thing wouldn't have gotten done without.

It was El’s fault, really. 

Ever since she’d dug through his mind for something to snap him out of the Mind Flayer’s hold, she’d insisted that Billy be the one to watch her when Chief Hopper had to work. Half the time she wouldn’t talk to him, simply content to have him sitting watch in the main room while she did...well, whatever the fuck preteen girls did on the weekends. On the rare occasion, like she had a month before now, she’d slip out of her room and sit down on the other end of the couch, staring at his profile until Billy chose to shut off the TV and look at her. She’d give him that long look, like she was trying to enter his mind again, then ask something no one else had ever bothered to bring up.

“What happened to her?” she asked this last time, voice remaining gently soft yet monotone. 

Billy knew immediately who the kid was referring to. He sighed, fighting the urge to look away lest she confuses it for being upset with her. Not many people allowed her to ask such questions, often admonishing her for being too invasive or pushy. He couldn’t though, not when that invasiveness had been the very thing to save him. She’d been the only person outside of himself to see his mother in years—burning every picture of her had been the first thing Neil had done when she’d left.

“She’s gone,” Billy told her.

“Dead?”

He couldn’t help the wince that spread across his face, fingers instinctively reaching to press against the chain around his neck. “Consider wording that better next time, kid,” Billy pointed out, reaching out to rustle her growing hair to keep the air light. El had begun pointing out times that he could’ve been nicer, much to Steve and Eddie’s amusement, so he’d begun doing it back. After all, who was better to work on El’s skills at being charming than him?

El seemed to work the words around in her mouth before asking again. “Did she die? After the waves?”

Billy sighed, knowing there was nothing left to avoid the question now. “No, she didn’t die. She left, a week after the surfing trip.” Billy tilted his neck back so he could stare at the ceiling, beginning to count every groove in the wood above them. “You saw what he did before Mrs. Byers got me outta there.”

El’s face twisted into something appearing like a scowl. “Your papa is a bad man.”

“Yeah, yeah he’s a piece of shit.” Billy looked at her from the corner of his eye as he added quickly, “don’t repeat that. Hopper’s still pissed about last time.”

“He doesn’t like ‘what the fuck’,” El laughed, causing Billy to snort as he turned his focus back to the ceiling.

“No, he doesn’t.” Everyone else seemed to treat her differently from the other middle school brats—Freshman brats—and maybe that was why El demanded it was him who babysat her rather than Nancy, Steve, or Jonathan. He told it like it was, let her know what to expect when she stepped into Hawkins High for the first time and even gave her advice about shithead Mike when she asked why boys do the stupid things they do. Billy never expected to get recruited to be a brother figure—’because like fuck I’m gonna be known as the babysitter like you, Harrington’—but he supposed she was alright.

“Mom couldn’t take Neil’s anger anymore, so she left,” Billy admitted, shrugging his shoulders like she hadn’t been the first person to ever break his heart. “Can’t blame her really. I left the first chance I could too.”

“She didn’t take you?” El asked, finding the deep scar pressed deep in his chest and poking roughly at it.

“Nah, kid, she forgot me at home.”

“Where did she go?”

And wasn’t that the question of the decade? Billy shrugged again, staring at the ceiling for a long moment before suddenly sitting upright and reaching out for the TV remote again. “I wouldn’t know, never thought to ask. You feeling Happy Days or M*A*S*H?”

The conversation had been over then, and El never brought it up again, but it had stuck in Billy’s head for weeks. He’d mulled over it whenever he could, turning it over and over in his head until he was sure it would shine.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Eddie asked one morning as they lay in bed, watching Steve rush around as he got ready for work. It was their favorite activity—not letting Steve out of their bed until the exact last second that he wouldn’t be late, making him fly about the room cursing them as if he hadn’t enjoyed all the cuddles previously.

“Harrington,” Billy called out, flashing a grin at the dramatic way Steve rolled his eyes.

“You’ve had your dick in my ass, think we’ve upgraded to Steve yet?”

Billy ignored the remark, pressing on, “Harrington.”

Steve stopped in his tracks, arms looped through a striped polo but the rest of it still pulled tight against his chest, head not through it. “Yes, darling dearest?” he asked sarcastically, and Steve’s poor morning attitude would normally make Billy laugh if it weren’t for the thoughts still rolling in his head.

“Think Prissy Wheeler would do me a favor?”

“Maybe if you dropped the ‘prissy’ part and added a please,” Eddie piped up from beside him, earning a gentle elbow to the side. “Just a thought.”

“I need her to find someone,” Billy continued like his boyfriends weren’t the most irritating people he’d ever met in his life. “Think she could Nancy Drew that shit?”

Steve huffed out a laugh, finishing pulling his shirt over his head and grabbing the green Family Video vest that had been tossed into the corner the previous night. “Yeah, she could probably ‘Nancy Drew that shit’.”

“Who’re you trying to find?” Eddie asked, Steve disappearing out of the bedroom to finish getting ready.

Billy pulled himself to his feet then, working on finding a shirt only to keep his back to Eddie so he wouldn’t have to see the tight expression on his face. 

“I’m lookin’ for a ghost.”

“Steve’s at Family Video, Wheeler, you’ll have to stop by later.”

Eddie still thought it was strange that the exes were so close, but he supposed it wasn’t really his business to understand them. As long as it made Steve happy, as long as it brought Robin happiness that her girlfriend was close with all of her other friends, then that was all that should matter to him. 

“Actually,” Nancy corrected, leaning a little to the side as if to try and peer around Eddie into the house, “I’m here for Billy.”

“Billy?” Eddie repeated, eyebrows raising and head leaning forward as if that might help him to rehear the sentence because there was no way that was right. The pair didn’t hate each other, but they certainly had never quite been as close as all the others. Steve thought it had something to do with the fact that Nancy had broken his heart so badly once upon a time and Billy never quite got past it, even if that was what needed to happen to get them all with the right people. “Whatever Mike said Billy did, he’s full of shit.”

Nancy rolled her eyes, sighing like the real reason for her visit should have been obvious from the start. “Can I just come in? It’s important.”

“Wheeler!” Billy’s voice called from behind Eddie, “you find something?”

“I did,” Nancy piped up, slipping past Eddie right into the kitchen. She set all of her files down on the table there—the one that was partially held together with duct tape and had little pieces of cardboard stuck under half the legs to even it out. “You might want...” Nancy’s eyes drifted to Eddie then, fingers idling over the corners of a few pages.

“What’ve you been up to?” Eddie asked finally, looking instead to Billy for answers. Was this about all of the shit with the Upside Down they’d all been through? He knew the fact that the Mind Flayer had taken him over had never sat right with Billy, knew that he’d been desperate to find out more about Henry despite that era of their lives being closed months before. 

Billy sighed, dropping into one of the kitchen tables and waving one hand for Eddie to sit down. Eddie complied, knowing it wasn’t too often that Billy was this quiet. He slid one of the chairs close to Billy, spinning it around so he could sit backward on it, shoulder pressed to Billy’s. “We’ve been tryin’ to find my mom.”

Oh. 

They’d never really talked much about Billy’s mom. Eddie knew that she’d abandoned him when he was young, that Neil had gotten worse after Billy became the only target in the house. He knew that despite everything that happened, Billy still loved her, and still wore her pendant every day. He knew it had been a combination of memories of Steve and him, as well as childhood memories of her that had brought Billy back. He knew he kind of hated her, for making Billy think he wasn’t worth taking him with her.

“So you found her?” Eddie clarified, his eyes on Billy the entire time. The other man still wasn’t great at talking about his emotions, but he was easy enough to read if one knew what to look for. There it was—blue eyes wide and a little glassy as Billy watched Nancy, lips tensed and shoulders straight back in unnaturally perfect posture. He was keeping himself together, whether that was because he didn’t want to cry in front of Nancy or because he didn’t want Eddie to worry, he didn’t know.

“I...” Nancy sighed, pulling out a copy of a picture and sliding it Billy’s way. “I found your Aunt Sandra, your mother’s sister. She’s living in Sacramento with a husband and three boys. The oldest is around your age, do you know of a—”

“Didn’t know she had a sister,” Billy mumbled, arms crossed on the table and shoulders bent over so he could stare at the exposed wood in front of him. The table was old, repurposed from Hopper’s old trailer, and was quickly splintering faster than any of them would have liked. Eddie reached out, grabbing onto Billy’s hand and squeezing tighter when he tried to pull it away.

“Well, I, I hope it’s alright if I...I reached out to her,” Nancy spoke, picking up a little pile of photos and handing them to Billy. When the other man didn’t grab for them, Eddie reached for them to flip through with his free hand, leaning in close so Billy might see them too.

There weren’t many, but for someone who had nearly nothing to remember his mother by it could have been everything. A photo of two young girls in their graduation gowns was on top, and from the way Billy’s fingers traced over the face of the blond one Eddie assumed that was Rose Hargrove. After that was a photo of Rose holding onto a baby, absolutely tiny and wrapped up in a plaid blanket.

“I was early,” Billy spoke up, never daring to glance away from the picture lest it disappeared again forever. “She always told me I was ready to change the world even from the start.”

“She’s beautiful,” Eddie piped up, unsure of what else to say when his boyfriend was clearly so affected. 

“Is she with her sister then?” Billy asked, eyes snapping up from a picture of him surfing as a tiny kid to look at Nancy.

“Billy,” Nancy began, eyes softening and lips pouting in the way she always did when she had bad news. Then she was pulling out another piece of paper and slid it over to them as she explained, fingers trembling slightly. “Sandra...Sandra had a story to tell. She said your mother went missing July 28th, 1977.”

“I know that,” Billy snapped, fingers digging harshly into the paper in front of them. A police report. “She left on the 24th.”

“Billy, she...the police found her, on the beach by your old address,” Nancy explained, voice strong even in its quiet volume. “They never found who it was, but Sandra was sure that...she was sure that your dad did it. She said that your mom came to her a few days before, saying that he was going to get rid of her. She said she...Sandra said your mom had a plan to get you and her out, but Neil found out about it. I’m sorry.”

Eddie’s eyes skimmed over the words on the report as Billy remained silent beside him. His heart broke as he saw drowned, abandoned, ligature marks, bloating, and contusions spread across the page. It was so much worse than any of them could have ever imagined. Eddie’s hands clenched into fists, fingers digging into the sleeves of his shirt. They all knew Neil Hargrove was a piece of shit but to have killed his wife?

“He told me she—” Billy’s words choked off around an angry shout as he threw the police report down on the table and stood, practically running into the bedroom and slamming the door shut.

“I’m sorry, Eddie, I didn’t mean to...,” Nancy began, hands beginning to gather the papers together but thinking better of it at the last moment. “I shouldn’t have told him.”

“No, thank you,” Eddie replied instead, body practically buzzing with his need to go check on Billy. He’d wait until Nancy was gone though, basically bouncing on his heels as she tossed her coat on. “He needed to know what really happened, he’ll be okay.”

“He’s got you and Steve,” Nancy spoke up, “I know he will be.”

“C’mon, don’t flatter me now, Wheeler,” Eddie tried to tease, his smile falling flat as the silence from their bedroom only grew on.

“Let me know how he is, okay? And, if I can find out anything else, or do something to help...”

“You’ll make a great investigative reporter someday, Nance,” Eddie spoke, standing at the door only long enough for Nancy to cross the threshold before he was hurrying to the bedroom.

Billy was sitting on the ground, back up against the bed and knees brought up to his chest. His arms were draped over his knees and his head was bent back slightly to lean against the bed, eyes staring unseeingly at the wall opposite him.

They all had bad days, sometimes. Days where something minuscule had reminded them of what had happened before. Eddie would feel like he was being chewed on like bats some days, every touch stinging like teeth. Steve would wail and grab his hair, his chest, and would rub his wrists where the Russians had kept him bound. Billy would lose himself completely some days, staring off into space like his mind was working on another planet. All they could do was hold onto each other when someone was down, pressing soft touches to their skin with gentle fingers and even gentler lips.

“Bills?” Eddie tried, coming to sit down in front of Billy in hopes of catching his gaze. He watched the moment the other man came back, blue eyes blinking and resurfacing to focus in on Eddie. “That was a lot.”

“He killed her,” Billy spoke, voice shaking with something akin to anger or sadness. His nails dug harshly into the skin of his arms, turning tanned skin stark white with the pressure. Eddie grabbed onto both of his hands to keep Billy from hurting himself in place of the man they all wanted to attack instead. “She was gonna take me with her. Eddie, she was gonna take me with her.”

“I know, I know,” Eddie returned, not knowing how to help other than to hold onto his hands tightly, keeping pressed close so he stayed in Billy’s vision. “She was going to protect you. I’m so sorry she couldn’t.”

“I spent this whole time hating her,” Billy snapped, tears finally spilling over his eyes as his head rocked forward to rest against their entwined hands. “The fucker said she abandoned me when he...he fucking killed her. He should be the one—”

“It’s unfair he gets to live his life like nothing happened. Like he didn’t do anything to her, like he didn’t torture you for years,” Eddie added, fingers tensing around Billy’s. “It’s not fair.”

“I wish he was dead. I wish he felt what she did when he fucking drowned her,” Billy spat. “The ocean was everything to her. She took me there every day and he killed her with it.”

They didn’t talk for a long time. In fact, they didn’t say anything or even move until Steve got home and joined them on the ground. Then, when the story of everything that had happened in the day was relayed to Steve, he was the one to break the glass, to shatter the thin veil keeping them from saying what all three of them had wanted to say from the start.

“He’s living alone in the house on Cherry now,” Steve spoke quietly, hazel eyes looking rapidly between blue and brown ones. “After Hop helped spread the rumors about that, no one would miss him if he went missing.”

“What’re you saying, pretty boy?” Billy asked then, voice rough like he hadn’t used it in years.

Steve didn’t say another word, looking at Eddie then as if he meant for him to rescue him. Eddie took up the mantle, heart pounding against his chest at the thought. Could they really do it? Could they actually plan and go through something like this all for a person? It was one thing to defend the world against otherworldly monsters, but for a man?

But then, Eddie still had nightmares of the nights in high school when Billy used to come by the trailer bruised and barely conscious. He’d been the only person who listened to the same music, and who had the same style. They never hung out in public if only to keep Billy’s reputation, but Eddie had been there nearly every night without fail to patch up his wounds and promise everything would be okay, someday.

He could vividly remember the nights after Starcourt, when coming to the trailer turned into Billy calling Eddie from Steve’s house, Eddie rushing over there to help Steve care for their Billy after Neil had kicked him out. He’d still been recovering from being impaled and Neil had left him on the front lawn to die.

So yes, Eddie knew they could do this. They should’ve done it a long time ago.

“We could kill your dad, Billy. We could kill Neil.”

Every time they started planning, Steve thought they would back out of this. He kept waiting for the moment that someone would laugh and say it was all a joke, like all three of them hadn’t each at one time thought about killing Neil Hargrove.

No one laughed, and no one backed out.

So now Steve was parking his Beemer outside the old Cherry house that Billy couldn’t stand to drive by now without panicking. Eddie sat in the passenger seat, there to help him bring Neil in as seamlessly as possible.

It still felt like a dream, like the next time Steve blinked he’d wake up in bed without ever having lied to Police Chief Hopper about what their weekend plans were, or without buying up enough supplies at the War Zone that even the cashier was suspicious. Without seeing the relief beginning to flood Billy’s face at the thought of what they were about to do.

“You sure about this?” Eddie asked, brown eyes had never left Steve’s profile since they started driving.

“I don’t think I’ve been more sure of anything else,” Steve answered immediately, “he deserves to die.”

“Deserving to die and us killing him are two different things, Big Boy.”

“I know,” Steve returned, shutting the car off and slipping out of the car long enough to grab the rope and cloth. “It’s crazy as hell but...after what he did? He shouldn’t get away with any of it.”

There’d been a night two weeks ago when they were just starting to plan that Steve had begun to question it. He mentioned that they could go to Hopper about this, that maybe they could get enough evidence to convict.

It only took Billy’s mention of how nine adults had known what happened to him in California, and Eddie’s admittance that it had taken months of fighting and a hospital visit for Wayne to get custody of him for Steve to understand. Sometimes, the law only worked in theory. Sometimes, the people who were meant to be protecting others weren’t really doing much protecting at all.

Sometimes, justice had to be left to the victims.

So Steve walked up to the Cherry house with Eddie, sharing a look before Steve knocked on the door. It took a few minutes for anyone to answer, so much so that Steve rocked on his feet and wondered if they were going to have to break-in. Right as he went to knock again, the door swung open to reveal a gruff-looking Neil Hargrove, hair a mess and button-down shirt rumpled like he’d gone to sleep in it.

“No soliciting, girl scouts,” Neil snapped, Eddie shoving his foot and arm between the door and the frame when Neil went to close it. “The fuck you want?”

“Have you seen Billy recently?” Steve asked, tilting his head to the side a little and trying to keep his calm when Neil’s cheeks grew red with anger.

“He’s not here. When you see him, tell that f—”

Steve couldn’t help but react, rushing a quick punch to Neil’s face the second the man’s lips began to wrap around that word. Eddie and Steve shared a look then, eyes wide as they began to realize what was happening. There was no going back after this, not when any misstep from here on out meant certain jail time. Steve almost wished he could’ve spoken to Hop, and gotten some advice on how to avoid his team as if that wouldn’t have concerned the man at all.

They made quick work of it between them, Steve shoving Neil inside so Eddie could shut the door to avoid drawing attention to what was happening. Eddie worked on gagging Neil while Steve worked on the ties, quickly getting Neil subdued in the trunk as they hurried to the Harrington house.

“Hey, hey, Steve. Speed limit,” Eddie spoke up from beside him, hand reaching out to hover over Steve’s on the wheel for only a moment before dropping back to his lap.

“What? Are you crazy?” Steve rushed out, hands gripping tightly to the wheel but still easing his foot off of the gas until he was back to near the speed limit. “We have a fucking guy in the trunk of our car, we need to get off the road as soon as we can.”

“No, no we don’t.” Eddie kept calm, speaking slowly and calmly as he explained himself. Steve struggled to remind himself that Eddie made a living in school selling drugs, that before that his dad had roped him into many of his crimes. Eddie knew what he was doing, and it would be worth it to listen to him. “If we get pulled over, we’re fucked. So follow the traffic laws exactly like you usually do, and we’ll get there when we can. Take a breath, you did the hard part already, Stevie.”

So he took a breath. He took another breath and focused on why they were doing this. He thought about the life Billy could have had if Rose had been allowed to run away with him, if he hadn’t had to suffer under the harsh hand of the man in their trunk for so many years. This was deserved.

The second they got to the Harrington house, Billy was coming from around back to help them drag a squirming Neil to the poolside, Steve and Eddie glancing around them to make sure no one happened to be standing out in their driveways having a midnight smoke. The second that was done, Steve backed off then, grabbing Eddie’s elbow to guide him back too. As much as they wanted to make Neil suffer, this was Billy’s fight, his right to get revenge for all the suffering Neil had caused. 

“You missed me, Dad?” Billy laughed, hands working to drag Neil closer to the edge of the pool so the man’s head and neck were hanging over the side. Right now Neil could hold his head up above the water, but Steve could tell by the slight quiver in his neck muscles that it wouldn’t last. Eventually, his eyes and nose would dip upside down into the water, and their problem would be done away with forever. From the way Neil’s eyes widened and noises of protest sounded around the makeshift gag, it seemed he’d figured it out too.

“I thought I’d look into some family history now that I’m on my own, and turns out I found something pretty interesting. Did you know I had an aunt?”

The second the words crossed Billy’s lips, Neil yelled out. He started jerking against the ropes that bound his arms and legs, but Steve had been an Eagle scout, once. The perks of having a father who was determined to teach him something about responsibility, or whatever the point of sleeping out in the woods every summer was, he supposed. He’s sure his father would have a heart attack if he ever learned about how Steve put those skills to use.

“Oh, was I not ‘sposed to know that?” Billy continued, smirk sharpening as he readjusted his grip, pulling Neil up by his shirt and slamming his back down harshly against the concrete. The motion sent Neil’s head dipping down into the water and back up, causing him to splutter and cough around the water. “It doesn’t feel good, does it? That water went down your airways, down into your lungs and it’ll make it burn when you breathe. It’ll only get worse. They say drowning is the worst way to go out, because of the pain and all the panic your body goes through. What d’you think about finding out?”

Billy tilted his head, seeming to regard Neil as the man’s head dipped a little lower from exhaustion, forehead dipping below the surface. “Is that why you killed her like that? You destroyed her with the thing she loved most. Made me hate her when she wanted to save me all along. What was that you used to tell me? ‘At least I didn’t abandon your worthless ass.’”

Steve reached out for Eddie’s hand then, both of them keeping one ear focused in on what was happening and the other looking for sounds from the road, keeping watch while Billy finished what he needed to.

“But guess what, fucker, you didn’t win. You fucked up, and now you get to see just how you made her suffer,” Billy spat, grabbing onto Neil’s jaw harshly and leaning in close. “And I’ll be the last face you ever see. You’ll know that your queer son and his fucking boyfriends beat you.”

The second Billy was done speaking, he was shoving Neil’s head under the surface.

It took longer than Steve would have guessed. It almost horrified him, watching the way Neil’s panicking body turned to spasming limbs and air bubbles over the surface of the water. After what felt like hours, the bubbles faded to nothing and Neil’s body went completely limp. 

It was over. 

The second Steve seemed to realize it, so did Billy. He let go, covering his face with his hands and letting out a wild shout.

“Hey, hey, it’s over,” Steve let out, rushing over to kneel next to Billy. Eddie moved too, holding onto Billy’s other side. They couldn’t stay there for long, not when there was the body of a monster left to get rid of, but they could take a moment. “It’s over.”

Billy devolved into cries then, face hiding into Eddie’s neck as his hands reached out to find fistfuls of Steve’s shirt. “He killed her,” Billy repeated over and over, “he killed her.”

“He can’t hurt you anymore,” Eddie told him, “you’re safe. It’s finally over.”

It’s finally over.

The ceremony was beautiful. 

Despite it being November in Hawkins, the sun was out and the temperature was mild. Billy would have liked to think that the universe did it just for his mom, just enough for them to say goodbye. 

After Steve and Eddie had taken care of Neil—you don’t need to know, Bills, just get some sleep, okay?—Billy had set to work with Nancy and Robin to organize a proper funeral for his mother. No one in town would know her, there would be no body to bury or stone to carve, but it would have to be enough.

Nancy reached out to his Aunt Sandra to find more pictures. In return, Billy got an invitation to come visit as soon as he, Steve, and Eddie could manage. She wanted to meet her nephew and the boys who made him happy, and most of all wanted to tell him all about the mother he didn’t even really know anymore.

“I’m sorry,” Steve said once they’d all sat down to eat, “are you doing okay?”

“Fine,” Billy answered, knowing that was the only word he could get out of his constricted throat. It might be true, but honestly, he wouldn’t be able to say otherwise with the millions of emotions swirling in his chest. He hadn’t thought about his dad since the night at the pool like the final heartbeat had been just what he’d needed to be clean of him forever.

“It’s okay if you’re not,” Eddie piped up from the other side of him. Billy was sure since that night, there had been few moments if at all that he hadn’t been wedged between Steve and Eddie. They had been willing to risk everything for him, to do the unthinkable to make him feel safe again. There weren’t enough ‘thank you’s in the world to make up for it, but luckily neither of them had wanted to hear any of it. All they’d wanted was more cuddles, more promises that they would all be okay, eventually.

“You thought you could find her someday. We’re sorry you can’t,” Steve added like maybe they’d rehearsed some version of this before the ceremony.

And, yeah, Billy was sad. He was devastated that his mother was gone forever, that she’d been killed by the thing they’d loved most together. He hated that she’d never quite been able to be free from Neil after all.

And yet.

“I’m okay,” Billy answered, feeling the honesty rush through each word. “She didn’t leave me behind. She...she always meant to save me.” That was everything, everything he never knew he had but what he’d needed this whole time. “She was always there.”

“She loved you, Billy, she really did,” Eddie told him, and he knew. He knew now. The pendant felt heavier on his chest, like he should have known she’d been trying to tell him something when she’d placed the saint of travelers around his neck just a day before she’d left. 

She’d always meant to be there. And though she couldn’t be now, Steve and Eddie were. Billy would have liked to think his mom would have loved them, if only because of how fiercely they protected him.

Looking up at the bright rays of sun that warmed all the flowers they’d gathered, Billy knew she did.

TAGLIST: @alessiamargaux @minispice-1 @shadetea @emily19990 @alexxavicry @raven2008 @whoringrove @strangerleaves @blackpanzy @cherry-sorry

want to join my taglist?

[nokingsonlyfooles]

Brigitte Empire! She's just done a big move to escape TERF Island, and YT (and associated donations) are her only source of income right now. Listen, like, and reply to her video (you don't have to read the YT comments - though most aren't too bad - just say "hi") to help her out with the algorithm, and give money if you can.

And, while I have your attention, how DOES one differentiate between a nice, civil protest and a lawbreaking riot?

Well, is "one" an ordinary human being without a badge - press or police/security?

Like these BLM folks right here?

...Then your input is not required. Sorry. You don't actually get to define whether you're here to be heard or to break shit and ruin it for everyone. You have no authority over your message, and we do not believe you when you express your intent, especially if there's any (I mean ANY) property damage. Human lives are more important than some light vandalism and broken windows, you say? Well, lalalalala, 'cos we're not listening.

But if "one" does have a badge...

Aha! Behold, a miscreant!

Yes. Take that, you... you building-haters!

...one is allowed, nay, expected to put the proper framework around this chaos of, uh, human beings asking for human rights with their (theoretically) protected right to protest.

And this framework is subject to change!

...like, a lot of change. Within a single human lifetime, MLK goes from commie threat to conservative icon, and the protests he helped organize go from "tut-tut, so uncivil" to a triumph of nonviolent resistance. Gandhi and his tactics have gone through a similar rehabilitation/reclaimation.

And Stonewall? It's gone from a riot to a protest to a riot, with an ever-evolving cast of heroes, villains, and participants. Brigitte up there steered clear of who was involved and what their motivations may have been, and I suppose I will too, because we're all very attached to our own personal mythology. We all want to have been there, and there's some backlash and othering for people with queer identities that aren't part of the mythos.

I will say, though, that the man-o-sphere-centric film Buck Breaking sure did cough up an interesting interpretation for us. (Don't bother to watch it, I didn't, I just read/listened about it. It seems painful.) To the brain trust behind this propaganda piece, Stonewall was a BLACK riot - with no queer folks involved at all, certainly not any Black queer folks - and we STOLE it from them. I'm not gonna take that apart either, F. D. Signifier already did, and his experiences give him a better viewpoint than mine.

A riot is defined, and fueled by the police reaction in the moment, and afterwards, the media and politicians will carve it up however they see fit. Generally speaking, contemporary sources tend to err on the side of the police, and slowly get more revisionist as time passes. If the cops don't want you where you are, they will come up with a reason to remove you, provoking one if necessary. (See, my earlier post today, responding to efforts to make it more difficult to protest in the States.)

Cops are trained to parse any disturbance (even a bunch of kids singing patriotic music at the Capitol to score cheap points for the Republican House Speaker) as a threat, and they will minimize or remove it. A protest that does not cause a disturbance is not an effective protest. Thus, ANYTHING can be a riot. And, once the cops fire a few chemical weapons into the crowd, it sure will look like one. That's nice for any newspaper photographers who happen to be in the area!

This is why, when I talk about violent protests, I say the violence happens, like a rainy day or a sneeze. Speaking as a bleeding-heart lefty progressive (I don't show up for shit like January 6th), most people aren't looking to hurt anyone, they just want to be heard. If you do look like you're just there to start some shit, or you bring a weapon, someone will take you aside and ask you to go home, or at least leave that shit in the car. People with obvious weapons make a suitable excuse for the police to start some shit of their own - and we'd all rather not be pepper-sprayed or gassed, thanks. But if the cops want you gone, they are able to turn up the pressure until someone snaps, and then they'll start doing damage and making arrests anyway.

The first Pride was a riot, and a protest, and the participants repaid police violence against them with violence against the police. Police do their violence on behalf of the State, so we tend to overlook it, or spread the responsibility around until everyone is a little bit complicit. (We live in a democracy, right? Right?) But the truth is, a riot can be self-defense. It just doesn't look like it in the papers, because systemic oppression doesn't photograph very well.

Nothing about what's happening is "civil." "Civility" is not what anyone is after, here. What they want is silence. Silence just lets them keep doing whatever the hell they were doing, while pretending we're all OK with it. If you raise your voice, they will do whatever they can to shut you down. They lie, they cheat, they wound, and they kill.

Well, you can't make any noise if you're dead. So first, stay alive. And then, if you can, yell your fucking head off. Don't quiet down no matter what label they hit you with. If you're lucky, one day you'll be a triumph of nonviolent resistance too!

[chaosdisorganized]

Well yesterday was horrible and we uncovered some terrible truths about our past and now have enough evidence to say okay this shit really did happen and wow it's so fucking painful.

This all started because my therapist asked us a question maybe he shouldn't have or maybe he didn't realize the kind of impact that question would have on us. Our own memories could've been proof enough but of course we didn't want to believe it, when someone else says it out loud it's different. I was spiraling out of control. The flashbacks and memories were just too much for me. I didn't think I was going to make it through. I still don't know if I will.

Even with all this evidence staring me in the face, I still want to go back to not knowing, to having no clue, just being blissfully unaware. I can't deny or suppress it anymore with the evidence we have now and that really fucking sucks. It really happened and that hurts so fucking bad.

"Was your sister trafficked?" That's all he had to fucking say to make us lose it. Of course he saw this and immediately dropped the subject. But omfg I hate this I wanna die.

That's not the only thing but that's the biggest part. We also discovered that the root of my problems is this trauma, love that. The behaviors we developed to be seen as unattractive/less profitable and try to find other ways to avoid the abuse. Those things I spent years wondering what is wrong with me why can't I just be normal, it's those parts and that trauma. Everything I hate about myself are actually things I did to get out and it worked I did get out when I started doing those things but now I still do it and my teeth are rotting out of my head, I only own sweatpants, and the mess that has followed me and haunted me my whole life.

Like are you fucking kidding me? You're telling me healing from this trauma is the only way I'll be able to move past these behaviors I developed to survive and then escape. I don't know what to think of it. I don't know what to do about any of this. I'm not ready to process these memories that's for fucking sure. My therapist also asked "what is it about the worst that makes it so bad?" Well I got an answer now, it's too fucking painful and it makes us suicidal and get self harm urges and there's too many "worsts" to just pick one. It's more like the whole situation was extremely fucked up. It's more like this is something we avoid like the plague if we can help it, don't talk about it don't think about it. On top of that other alters kind of like enforce our silence, our disbelief, and feed into it along with threats and trauma reenactment of course. This is just so fucking great /s

[pinkprimrose05]

3 choices. Arc V (Fandom) for 2 and 10. Yuri (Character) for 5, 6 and 7. Yuya (character)for 2 and 15. If you take on all 7 of these questions I will tie you upside down and play whale noises until you chill. Take care!

Put that rope away, yes, thank you- aaaand here we go!

2) my three favorite characters and why I love them so much:

I should preface this by thanking you for my most recent microcrisis, AKA the abrupt realization that somehow, somewhere along the line... the Theatre Kid Agenda™ has discreetly overtaken my top 3 list.

Speaking of the list:

1- You thought this would be Yuuya, but as it turns out... it's Yuuya! lol.

I'd go ahead and wax the usual poetry about the layers and symbols and all that jazz, but you've already seen me gush about that several times over, so I'll just focus on the babyboy factor for once instead. Yuuya may not have wet kitten energy even at his angstiest, but he sure is a sunshine bean of debatable genuity, and that's just as adoptable!

Looking at him alone is enough to make me want to offer comfort ok. I'm stuffing him in a blanket burrito and shipping him off to my place for a long, long break and some overdue therapy. We can cope with life together, cry a little, cry a lot, bake sweets to recuperate, melt into happy little puddles after a good treat, and then nerd out about theatrics and play a few duels to test silly strategies! This kid is my Son and he deserves all the best things in the world, so for every bit of pain he goes through I'm giving him a truckload of comfort.

______

2- You may have noticed this in ARC-V Month, you may have picked up on it through my sporadic, scattered mentions of the guy, but if not, then here's a fun fact: I have more than one ARC-V blorbo.

Introducing the central piece of a great many of my conflicted thoughts, confused feelings, paradoxical opinions, abrupt perception shifts, and eventual (semi-)begrudging affection that had me questioning my taste in pixels for like a whole year:

...Zarc.

I've known this fucker for 5 years, hated him for a solid 3, and then woke up one winter day in 2023 and realized that oh shit, he managed to land himself a spot in blorbo tier. Is this what people mean when they say a character grew on them? Were my feelings playing the most long-winded joke on my mind for 4 years? Trust me, I don't know. What I do know is that maining his deck was definitely an endearing factor, and so was the 3rd ARC-V watch (this is where I started uncovering most of the easter eggs I know about the show, so perhaps the build-up made me a touch biased over time, but I genuinely found the 136-139 marathon more entertaining than annoying for once. We speak not of 140).

TL;DR: I think the lettuce clown is neat. Past me would have a stroke if I told her I'm a Zarc apologist now tho.

______

3- Super Duper Ultra Hyper Extra Mega- ok I'll stop now.

Sawatari is actually the one surprise in this list to me because, huh, I didn't realize how much I liked him over other nearly as cool characters until I put them side by side and pondered who brings me more joy when on-screen. I thought 3rd place would be someone like Yuugo, maybe Serena, but it seems I've taken a spontaneous shine to the banana peel?

(Help how does this keep happening why am I weak to clowns lmao)

See, Shingo's character may be on the simpler side by virtue of being the... designated comic relief, but that simplicity is part of his charm! The mix of charismatic and pathetic aura is a also rare thing, you know- It's not easy to be so cool and cringe at the same time and make it feel natural. That takes skill.

And speaking of skill, Shingo has my respect for always putting up a good fight, even in the games he loses to all sorts of jobber bullshit. He's a genuinely good duelist and a great entertainer, and I love that for him!

______

10) how many fics I've read that are set in it (approximately and making exaggerated guesstimates):

Guesstimate: Around a thousand. I've been around the fandom long enough to read all sorts of fics on ff.net and Ao3 (among other sites), and it sure feels like I've seen a lot, looking back.

Actual number: Approximately 600, rounding down. On Ao3 alone. Huh, I was expecting the number to be like, 200, so this is not too far off, actually! Maybe the reason the fic count feels higher than it is because the memorable reads tend to be REALLY long multichapters. Why are these so common in the ARC-V tag, by the way? Is it the allure of crossovers? The canon divergence AUs?

(The answer is both, and a few other factors as well. Good for us, I say! Longfics are a serious test of commitment, and I'm glad to see and follow so many talented and dedicated authors!)

[demonsfate]

I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT JIN'S EMAIL TO HER IN TEK 4 LMAO orz I'm sorry. But yeah I agree with you. I also think he didn't tell her all the details likely for those reasons. But he told her enough to warn her and give her an idea of what kind of person Heihachi was. Which makes her attitude in Tekken 5 all the more confusing. I'm guessing Jin was so confused because he swore he had told her Heihachi was a pos, still does and yet here she is trying to go back in time lol. I think that's the game where things start to get worse with the writing. Granted Tekken has never had top writing but still. It actually makes me a bit sad because I was introduced to the games with 5 and I'm very fond of it (bc nostalgia but anyway)

A lot of shit happens in the Tekken series, and it makes it easier to forget it when the game's plagued with inconsistent writing. Hell, there are many things forgotten or straight up misconceptions within the fandom. (Many people still believe Kazuya made a deal with the devil to not die as a kid, but that only happened in the OVA) HELL, even I sometimes forget certain things, and I end up making headcanon posts that don't comply to canon just because I forgot about something. 😅

I looked it up for more info regarding the "email" Jin sent, according to some sources (such as the PAL version of the manual) Jin told her he suspected Heihachi was gonna have her assassinated...? Whiiich unsure if that's just a mistranslation from the PAL edition or not because I don't see why Heihachi would do that. He did it to Jin because Jin was no longer of use, he never cared about Jin, and Jin has the devil gene. But Xiao hasn't really done anything to warrant an assassination, unless Heihachi feared she'll uncover the truth regarding Jin's disappearance, and turn on him. But again, I'm unsure if this is true, or if the PAL version just added more because they thought "dangers" was too vague, or assumed that's what it meant when talking about the dangers. But who knows, we all also know how wonky the official translations of the series can be.

There's also a lot of issues with time travel. Such as, even if Xiao had succeeded, it'd be a possibility that Jin would've never been born. (After all, Jun only met Kaz due to his shady treatment of wildlife animals). But I won't delve too much into this just because it's just a silly story that means little. I don't even know how canon it is, considering that Xiao's ending in general isn't canon I don't think. Time travel, I'm pretty sure, is still not something that can canonically be done in the lore LOL.

Oh, Tekken 5 may be my favorite Tek game. (It's in the top three along with Tek3 and Tag 2) But I also very much enjoy Tekken 6 and we all know how I feel regarding its story. Basically, Tekken games can be very fun but not have the story that matches their quality of gameplay LOL. And I belieeeeve I wrote here very recently that 5 was the start of the atrocious writing. Although Jin was still relatively in character in 5, it did set up his villain arc with the ending. Xiao was flanderized to hell as we've discussed. Characters that didn't have joke endings before now have them (see Heihachi and Lei, probs more that I'm not thinking about rn) which set up the premise of not taking most of the cast seriously. (Tek7 DEFINITELY had an issue with most endings being pointless and comedic) So yeah, whilst Tek5 wasn't as bad as Tek6 in terms of story, it was suffering symptoms of it. Like a pre-illness or something LOL.

Tek3 was actually the first I was introduced to. My brothers CLAIMED we played Tek5 as kids because we rented it before when it was new...? But oddly I have like ZERO memories of it. I only remember playing Tek3, Tag 1, and Tek4. Which I played Tek4 very little because as a kid, I saw the limited amount of characters and thought "why would I play this when I can play Tag 1 with LOTS of characters...?" xD

[iffylogic]

I should pick up A Realm Reborn again. Yes! I will do this.

I haven't talked about the game much and it's killing me, I know no one'll probably read this but I need to go off, I have so many thoughts

I was level 50 when I last left off, just about to battle a Big Fighty Boi the Garleans uncovered. It has very "season finale" feel to it.

(I cheated and have been watching an online playthrough about halfwayish into Heavensward, but I still want to continue properly!)

WOL

I have a pathological need to keep my characters thematically consistent, so Carmine's gone from conjurer to white mage and I can't make myself try anything new. XD (It's pathological because I don't really enjoy playing white mage therefore this is self-harm klhfvjasdjklfhjasd)

I'm thinking once I finish this msq I'll start a Fyo playthrough that I'll actually see through into the expansions. She's a lot more flexible. She's also a punchygun person so I guess pugilist/monk and then gunbreaker later 🤔 but she DOES dabble in magics! So who knows 💃🥋

I can't put a self-insert in there because Yda already exists oTL

(not in looks lol)

GAME THOUGH!

It's so pretty and big and hilarious. My favorite quest so far has been the white mage one where I have to go all over the world finding relics to pray at. I was underleveled at the time and hadn't explored enough, so I was seeing lots of new interesting areas (and new routes to and from old areas) while running like hell from superior enemies in a panic. Seriously loved it. XD

I'm a person who gets really excited when I see new things. I love new scenery, new characters, new everything. So this game's been a constant joy and I'm frequently beside myself. I play in the name of joyous wonder, dang it. And this game delivers it with gusto. ⭐

I actually really enjoy traveling in games like this, it was almost sad when I got the hang of aether teleporting. I mean I understand but yeah I like to hoof it lol. And I still can! And it's fun!

I'm very predictable because my favorite character so far is Admiral Merlwyb. Tall person with guns and I could listen to nautical metaphors from her all day.

not kidding about her voice - a specific banquet scene happened, I was freaking out for plot reasons, then she blurted out "Seven Hells!" and I was like "thank you, I feel a little better now" XD

Favorite main cast character is probably Tataru and I am incapable of explaining why, but I love all the scions so far. I'm betting we'll get more eventually, so that'll be fun :D

The Garleans are ridiculously one-dimensional villains so far and it's kind of amazing. RE5 Wesker is my fave game villain, I eat that cheese up. Out of curiosity, I googled it and even their capital city is going out of its way to look as evil as possible. 10/10, will go on vacation there next summer

Ascians are over the top too of course, but they have a cult vibe, therefore being over-the-top is just sort of expected

oh yeah

GRANT US SUCCOR IN OUR HOUR OF N E E E E D

I know all the voices get better in the expansions (most of the main cast I already like but I get why people say this), but I'm going to miss the background-character voice acting in Realm Reborn holy shit lol

The soundtrack's alright so far (I know that gets better later as well). Kinda wish they had more than one "troubling/suspicious thing is happening" track, though. Is... is that still going to be there by Endwalker? XD

I'm crazy for the bagpipe floating island music and all the Alexander tunes 💃🎵

oh and Revenant's Toll! Arriving there was amazing. At the time, I was (again) under-leveled and was going deeper and deeper into unwelcome territory, far from help and civilization, then suddenly I'm in the middle of this remote town with pumping adventurer music and the locals are like "hey, you made it this far! Welcome to a town made by badasses, for badasses" and I'm like 🤩

SOCIAL...NESS

I need more friends to play with, I'm too shy. (I lost ALL of my momentum wanting to be social after that hell-job last year. I never quite got my spark back. 😔)

So um... what's the best way to find more people? Friendly laid-back people?

I'm obviously "Iffy Logic" on there if you wanna add me! Unless you need to search by character, in which case look for Carmine Pentella? On.... Cactuar?

Unless I'm playing Fyo. I uh... I don't know what her last name is yet. In the story she's from, family names aren't a thing. errr...

Also I notice a lot of the game's story stuff you HAVE to play alone? That's... kinda messed up, isn't it? Especially non-dungeon/raid cutscenes. You play together and one person just sorta stands around awkwardly while the other watches the story, and reacting is weird because they can't see what's happening.

Like... it feels like I'm going to a friend's house to watch a show with a friend, but then we have to be in separate rooms when I get there. Seems unfortunate.

it'd help if I could make myself play dungeons with other people. I'm too afraid I'll mess up and get yelled at. oTL

PFFFF

If you read this far, I'm both impressed and very sorry

how did you get here without a machete and safari hat