#but now this happened and i cant even take my walks bc everything hurts so much rip

[bunnihearted]

☁️🌷

[shakirawastaken]

dsmp if....it was taylor swift

i am the biggest swiftie dsmp blog here i am a swiftie i love taylor swift unless she sings new romantics at a show that im not at then i hate taylor swift

dream: paper rings by taylor swift (from Lover)  - i have written a one shot to dream for stay stay stay like a year ago. please read that too amen - i feel like this song lowkey fits him so well??? just like lowkey - cause like man is rich as fuck hes like a CEO and stuff  - BUT let me backtrack - you met him before he face revealed in the middle of the swamp in florida (orlando) - lets use my other post and say you met him in the grocery store SLAY - you “went home and tried to stalk him on the internet” - and obviously couldn’t find anything - but you reached out to him over text and he didnt answer you..bc he was like filming or smth and you were like bruh - but he eventually did answer you and you were like cool - you guys hung out ALOT  - as friends - to the mall as friends, to the cafe as friends, to the movies as friends - you even met his friends...and then you figured out he was Dream  - your relationship was like slaying at this point - you moved in with him! - and at this point now that you know Dream is Dream and is RICH - he showers you in gifts - expensive jewlery, trips to places, the mans love language is gift giving and he def has the $$$ to make that happen! - but one day he was like drunk or smth idk  - and he was like “wanna get married?” - and you were like “LOL sure” - and he, in his lovesick era, talked about the ring he would buy you in great detail - you were flattered ofc and laughed along - the next morning he woke up from his drunk era and was like “did you really mean it” - and you were like “yes!! i like shiny things, but i’d marry you with paper rings whenever you want dream” - and he was like “bet” - and he made paper rings and you drove to the courthouse and GOT MARRIED STOP IT THAT IS ADORABLE AND YOU HAD AN ACTUAL CEREMONY LATER CUTHE MF CAMERAS THAT IS IT THIS IS IT - I WANT TO WRITE THIS INTO A ONESHOT COMMENT “ceo of minecraft” IF YOU WANT IT - runner up song for dream was wonderland btw

george: gorgeous by taylor swift (from reputation) - now LISTEN i was gonna do London Boy - but im saving that for another thing - GORGEOUS FITS and its not just cause george is actually very pretty - this takes place in LA, george is here and you work here  - you also have a boyfriend - lets say you and some of your friends went out to a club one day - so did the dream team tm  - and you just came from a stressful day at work so you did what anyone would do and you drank - enough to get you a bit tipsy - and somehow all the stars and planets and fates aligned and you bumped into mr notfound - and you were like “sorry!!” - and he was like “oh its alright” but he said it british - and you were like “HAHAHAH YOURE BRITISH” and you mocked the way he talked  - you were tipsy alr - and he knows he should have been offended but he couldnt help but smile bc he thought u were cute - you two talk some more and you sober up through the conversation - its cliche but you forget everything else when u talked to him - including your very real boyfriend - and he shoots his shot “do you think i could have your number?” - your eyes shoot open wide and you just groan - “i got a boyfriend, he’s in the club and idk what he’s even doing.” and george is like “oh - but then you just keep going and youre like - “dude if you have a girlfriend im jealous of her” - and he laughed - “but if youre single thats honestly worse” - and he was like “how is that worse” - and you gathered all your confidence and was like “you’re so gorgeous it actually hurts” - and he smiled and said thank you - and you watched as his face moved to sadness - “i dont want to get in the way of your relationship, it was nice meeting you” he says as he walks away - DONT LET HIM WALK AWAY your mind yells at you - but you cant have him, bc youre taken - nothing you hate more than what you cant have - ding - why do all of these suck today guys im so sorry

OH SHIT I FORGOT I WAS GONNA DO STYLE WITH GEORGE UGHHH lmk if you want that

sapnap: you are in love by taylor swift (from 1989)  - you both start as best friends in this scenario - like best friends since high school middle school school  - you talked everyday , hung out everyday - it was natural that you would form a crush on the man - but then he moved to Florida - you totally understood why he did that - but the communication between the two of you died down - and so did your crush, it flickered out - but one day, he texted you - “hey! im coming back to texas for a couple weeks. are you down to hang out?” - and ofc you said yes - you two met up in a little diner, just to cach up  - and it was like you two had never seperated - you were joking around and laughing just like the old times - eventually you two were ordering coffee at midnight as he told you get in the car - he said “i have a surprise for you” - who were you to deny him? - so you got in the car and he sped off to the old dirt road or something where you used to go in high school - shoulders brushing as you two sit in the trunk, he tells you to look up at all the stars - but you looked at him instead, and all your feelings came crashing over you - all you could hear and think about while he drove you home, while you slept was that - “you are in love, true love” - god this SOng THIS SCENARIO - the weekend before he moves back to florida - you had spent the night over, wearing his old shirt as a pajama - burnt toast because he dont know how to work the toaster - you decide to make a move, to let go of your fears on how he’s gonna react - and you kiss him on the cheek - you two spend the whole day being a little more romantic than usual - holding hands, kisses on cheeks, etc - you spend the night over at his house again - then he wakes up in the middle of the night with this look of ?? on his face - you turn to look at him, staring him dead in the eyes - and he stares back, the moon reflecting onto his face - “you’re my bestfriend” he silently whispers, scanning your face for ANY reaction from you - and your heart starts rushing and your head starts beating and all you know is that he is in love with you. and you are in love with him.  - the night continues in a rush of kisses and rushed feelings - he of course had to go back to florida - but now he keeps a picture of the two of you in his wallet - and you see him in everything around you - you two facetime everynight and talk about everything with each other - because you are in love, true love - bonus: when sapnap gets home dream’s like “whats up with you” - and sapnap just shrugs and grins  - “spent some time w my best friend” - “IM NOT YOUR BEST FRIEND?” - dream LMFAOO - can you tell im in love with this SONG quackity (hits different from midnights (the till dawn edition)):  - I KNOW THIS SONG HAS A LOT OF DIFFERENT INTERPRETATIONS OKAY - im very aware of that its all i speculate and talk about - its like that one meme with the guy and the bulletin board and hes like “DO YOU SEE THIS” - but i interpret this song as someone singing to a person (bonus points if theyre a friend) they have a major crush on!!! except their crush is dating someone - and you can tell that the person they are dating aint it for them - its giving you belong with me - in this, you’re quackity’s neighbor - and you two have lived next to each other for a while  - to the point where you two have become kinda good friends! youd eat dinner together, have some movie nights, etc - you could say you know him pretty well - well ig you didnt know him as well as you think - one night you knock on his apartment door, looking for someone to hang out with whatever - ignore that you had a crush on him that you were actively suppressing - and his girlfriend answers the door all nice like “hi! how are you!” - and youre like “im good, are you?? who are you?” - and quack pulls up behind her and is like “OH meet my girlfriend!” - and youre like “oh! nice to meet you!” - then you shuffle back to apartment ASAP - suddenly it hit you that the person you had a crush on was unavaliable - and suddenly you felt the anguish that comes from him being in love with someone else - it made you wanna throw up - you call another friend up and meet up at a bar, ready to drink your sorrows away - and the bar you go to is playing the song you and quackity listened to everytime together - you groan and explain everything to your friend who’s just like “oh my! love is a lie, don’t worry - it happens to everyone” just to get you by - but you knew this wasn’t like any other time - youve been so willing to move on in the past - it hit different this time because it was him - you drink so much you start slurring his name and your thoughts are plagued by him - someone puts you into a car and sends you off to your apartment - you slump onto your bed, and fall into a restless fit - dreams of his hair, and his stare, and his sense of belief. of times you once believed he could love you.  - you dreamed of you melting his world like an argumentative, antithetical dream girl - the next morning, you hear a key turning in his door  - and you cant help hope but hes coming in to check on you - so you rush to open the door - he jumps and looks at you startled - “hey! my girlfriend and i heard you come in from the bar last night! must have been a wild night!” he chuckled, wishing you the best of health as he retreated into his apartment - you stare at the spot he was just standing out, letting out a big sigh as you groan, your hangover catching up with you - “catastrophic blues, moving on was easy for me to do. it hits different, it hits different cause its you”  - be glad i didnt pick “youre losing me” for this cause damn

karl (invisible string from folklore): - okay. i have already written a karl one shot. to holy ground by taylor swift. from red (taylors version) please go read after this. amen - okay - THIS OSNG THIS GOSNGS ITHSIGHSDJKFG - i cant get over the childhood best friends to lovers shit - but i dont think youre childhood besties - you just met when you were younger - its giving karl lives in a place where your family used to take you on vacation every summer - like to ur grandparents place or some white shit like that - every summer, you would go to the park, read and then go get fro yo at the shop near by - every year growing up, youd read stories of epic romances - and you couldnt help youd meet somebody there, sitting in that park - then, they year you were 16. you went into the fro yo shop. same as always - and there stood a 16 year old karl, in a teal shirt, asking you what you wanted to eat - there wasn’t anyone else in the store, so you two talked. and you two clicked instantly.  - you went back everyday for that year - and did the same every summer after that - until one summer, you told him that you were moving to LA. to pursue your career - and he finally gave you his number - when he finally got around to going to LA he called you up - and you two reconnected, just like the old times. ate at your favorite dinner spot and everything. you decide to try something more - so you date long distance - three years later, you two meet up at the old yogurt shop. and then got lunch down by the lakes - now, years later you two live together. in the same small town you vactioned in every year - you two walk the park you read at every day - karl owns the yogurt shop you two met at  - and you cant help but think that even through all the bad things that you had in  your life - the only good thing that was stringing along for most of your life was karl - karl made you less vengeful of the boys youve loved before - karl made you better. and you made him better - the both of you cant help thinking about the wonderous time, and how pretty it is to think about how “all along there was some invisible string” tying the two of you together - i feel like i coulda expanded here but i think its cute idk sorry guys

wilbur (begin again from red (taylor’s version)): - i think i got a different era for each person SCORE! - wilbur is sOOOO evermore and red coded - but not 22 or ikywt coded but all too well and the lucky one coded - you had recently gotten over a breakup and were ready to start dating again - and a friend of yours hooked you up with this guy from her office - who she said “does not do typical officer work” - you ready for anything, so you thanked her and took her offer - and now the date of your date is here, and you couldn’t help but be nervous - you critiqued and critized every small bit of you, just like your ex did - but now youve grown to love what you wear and what you look like - you blasted your favorite song that he seemed to hate as you walked out the door, as ready for this date as you could ever be - you walked to the cafe that you decided to meet up at, expecting wilbur to be late - imagine the soft surprise that took over you when he stood when he saw you, waving to you as he strode over to meet you halfway - “hi” you said breathlessly, surprised at the common decency he showed you - “hey” he said slyly, making small talk with you as he ushered you over to the table he saved - he pulled your seat out and everything, helping you take your coat off. he doesn’t know how nice that is - while you’re talking you tell some stupid joke, trying to ease your nerves - and when he throws his head back laughing like a little kid? youre done for.  - for the past 8 months you could only think about how love breaks and burns and ends - but on a wednesday, in a cafe. you watched it begin again - you cant help but smile back, agreeing to a second date - you meet up for a second date, this time in a record shop.  - you two talk about your shared love for music - and he’s like “ive never met anyone who as many los camp! records as i do” - and you were like “bet!” - turns out, you two have the same amount - you two walk around the city, exchanging stories about your lives when he suddenly teases you for being shyer than on your first date - you jsut blush and nudge him teasingly while rolling your eyes. and he laughs again.  - your ex never did that. he was never carefree, kind, and careless around you - but wilbur was. and your idea of love just grew and grew and grew - he walks you to his car, and the words about your ex are on the tip of your tongue. youre about to tell him about how different he is than your ex and how grateful you are for him - but then he cuts your thoughts off, launching into a story about him and tommy - and you find yourself wanting to talk about that instead - you can finally say what’s past is in the past - because on a wednesday, in a cafe, you watched it begin again.  i love taylor swift. i could do so many more of these. please tell me if you want

[core4writes]

𝐢 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮//georgenotfound

𝗉𝖺𝗂𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀：𝗀𝖾𝗈𝗋𝗀𝖾𝗇𝗈𝗍𝖿𝗈𝗎𝗇𝖽 𝗑 𝖿𝖾𝗆!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 

𝖶𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌：𝖺𝗇𝗀𝗌𝗍，𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝖺𝗅𝖼𝗈𝗁𝗈𝗅

𝖳𝗁𝗂𝗋𝖽 𝗉𝖾𝗋𝗌𝗈𝗇 𝗉𝗈𝗏

𝐚/𝐧: i felt like an emotional baby today so here is this. 𝖠𝗅𝗌𝗈 𝗂𝗍𝖺𝗅𝗂𝖼 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝖻𝖾 𝖿𝗅𝖺𝗌𝗁𝖻𝖺𝖼𝗄𝗌. (BTW ENDING IS RUSHED BC I HAVE 0 MOTIVATION)

🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚

"I now pronounce you husband and wife, You may kiss the bride." A tear swells up in my eyes as i watch him pity kiss the bride, even though it was a pity kiss it still hurt me to know the man i loved is up there with my best friend, paige. kissing her....marrying her. "are you still staying for the reception y/n? i heard there is cocktails." a woman said sitting beside me who happens to be y/n's friend, taylor.

"why did i even come here?" y/n says as my eyes are glued to the married couple walking down the aisle. "for paige remember." i take a second to remember to even come to this shit show in the first place, how did i even get hear, why did i let the man i loved slip away, was it my fault?

*flashback four years ago*

"oh come on y/n, just go with us it will be fun." my friend taylor try's to convince me, it's 12:30 a.m, were are sitting at my dorm room, i have to turn this assignment in by 7:00 a.m and they expect me to go to a stupid frat party with them. "listen y/n there are a lot cool people so you dont have to worry about being loser and not fitting in." Paige says with a smile "plus you got us so...well really you have taylor since im going to be making out with jacob." Paige says excitedly knowing that if she gets with jacob then she can go to all the cool party's.

"fine, i guess one party will not hurt me." taylor and Paige fulled with excitement, it all happened in a blur we were driving in a car, we were at the party, we were drinking, and now i'm alone at this party. im sitting on the ugly smelling couch as i watch frat boys play beer pong, and people making  out and socialize. i would look for taylor and Paige but im to drunk to even stand, I fiddle with the red solo cup in my hand.

a boy, a pretty boy stands in front of me. "hello, my name is y/n." slurring my words, "hello, i'm george." he pops right down next to me and smiles lightly, he has two drinks in his hand. "you look pretty lonely over here, so i got to a drink." he handed me a drink that i immediately chugged.

"are you british?" i say drunkenly as i lean on george taking in his cologne, "yes i am-" i cut him off "holy cow, a British frat boy ." he laughs at my drunk state, "holy cow." he mocks. "im not a frat boy, just a boy who happens to get drag to these party's by my friends." i gasp "the same thing happened to  me, my friends wanted me to come and i lost them i dont know where they are." as I was about to continue to rant I felt a uncomfortable pit in my stomach. 

"is everything alright love?" as much as i loved that i didnt have time to blush, i needed to throw up. i stood up and george stood up right after me holding onto my lower back, i started wobbling out the house with george chasing after me. i got out the house just to end up, throwing up in the bushes of the front yard. george seen and ran up to me.

he held my back and with the other hand he patted my back, "its alright, let it all out." his hands soothed my back as i puke, when i done i get up and dust my knees off. "hey lets get you some where private where you can clean off." george said. it all happened in a blur again he took me to his car, he opened his dorm bedroom, he let me take a shower, he let me wear his clothes, he even had to put on the clothes for me and he let me sleep in his bed all drunk.

The next morning, I wake up to feel a hand around my waist and someones head breathing in the croak off my neck. i shot up, looking over to see a random dark hair boy. he looked familiar, but i cant figure out who he is.

i take a good look at him for awhile till he bats his eyes open, "good morning." he sits up in bed right next to me "good morning," i say back. "did we do anything last night." referencing that we're in the same bed together.

he laughed "no...do you remember anything from last night." he gets up out of bed, he is shirtless. "uh, i wish i could." he pulls a blue t-shirt over his head "well my name is george." he put his hand out for me to shake it.

and a few months later we dated.

than broke up

*present*

me and taylor go to the reception, we are both wear light pink tinted short dresses. it matches the theme of pink rose petals, the party was good but there was something bothering me. not just the fact that my best friend is marrying my ex, but he was staring at me the whole time. as george and his bride cut the wedding cake he was looking at me, when they danced he was looking at me, when they kissed he was looking at me.

i felt bad and under pressured, the way he just had all his attention on me made me feel bad for Paige. i took one last sip of my cocktail and walked out the reception, I would be damned if I let him ruin my mood. i walk down the hallways walking towards the exit, i had to get in my car and get out of there. as i am about to reach the exit i hear my name.

"y/n.."

i turn to see george standing 5 inches away from me, "yes?" i didnt want to see him, this is his wedding day not mine. he comes closer to me and closer. our faces were inches apart now, and he traced my lips with one finger, lightly, lightly, then placed his lips there as if he’d drawn them into being. His lips were warm and soft. i broke the kiss, i had a gut feeling that shit was about to go wrong.

"im sorry george but i cant do this right now." i sigh.

"𝐢 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮." george said.

a/n: yeah im too lazy to finish lol.



[grumelot123]

Part 17 of "I'm trying so hard to hate you."

Lets get into itttt

Short chapter, but uh ANGST WARNING!

(yea that's what you're about to read)

Crowley pov bc yea

We drove home in silence, Aziraphale kept drifting in and out of sleep. In the background I had queen playing quietly, not worried about it bothering my Angel but just so I could hear my own thoughts.

I know we weren't supposed to be worried about this whole Armageddon thing till tomorrow but it was still rolling throughout my brain. Like what if I end up losing my Angel? Or if we don't get to see each other again?

No. Right now, I'm thinking about tonight and tonight only.

I pulled up to the bookshop to see no lights on whatsoever so I'm guessing Muriel was off with Maggie and Nina.

Perfect. So me and Aziraphale have the place to ourselves tonight.

I got out of the car and grabbed everything out and brought it inside. Turned on the lights, and started some tea for me and Aziraphale.

He's making me go soft.

After doing all of that I went outside to go wake him up.

"Aziraphale." I tapped his arm.

He started to stir awake.

"Hmm?" He looked up at me with those sleepy eyes.

"We're home."

He laughed. "Home? Thought this was my bookshop?"

"For fucks sake Angel, I might as well live here too. I mean I did while you were go-"

He got out of the car and kissed me.

"We aren't talking about anything sad tonight, yea?"

"Yessss sirrr."

Did I really just say sir? I know he can tell somethings off.

"Sir?"

"Nothinggggg."

He gave me a confused look, but walked past me and headed inside. I followed.

"Are you making tea dear?"

"Yep!"

He smiled at me, with that warm smile of his. The smile I could just melt into.

He walked towards me and put his hand up to my cheek.

"Thank you."

"For what? Doing my job?"

"It's not your job to take car of me Crowley."

"We're dating, of course it is. And there's no way to stop me."

"Hmm, ok. If you say so."

He walked towards a desk and grabbed a book, then sat down on the couch.

We were back into a routine things, sitting in silence, talking, then me going home. But now? It's different. We are dating. I can stay for as long as I want too. I don't have to watch what I say or think because now he can just listen freely. Because now we have us. Just us.

But maybe not this time. What happens next? Well spoiler alert, I fucked up.

I walked over and sat by him.

"What happens if this all fails?!" I blurted out.

"I thought we weren't talking about anything sad?"

"Yea yea sorry..."

"No, I understand you're worried about this Crowley. I want you to talk to me and express your feelings, so...why do you think this is gonna fail?" He seems genuinely concerned like he wanted to hear what I thought.

So? I told him all of it. Everything. How I was worried he might choose Heaven over me. How I didn't think he'd love me anymore after this. And..since I had to go fuck everything up I even started my concerns on how maybe he just thinks he loves me because the worlds going to end.

Fuck.

"What?"

"Aziraphale I didn't mean it I just wasn't thinki-"

"Exactly! You weren't thinking! Why would you even say that stuff? That I just love you because the worlds ending?! That I'd just choose Heaven over you?! I promised you that I wouldn't let Heaven come between us every again, and I've done a pretty damn good job at it haven't I?!"

"Well I-"

"No. I don't want to hear it. I'm hurt, I'm tired, mentally and physically exhausted. I cant do this right now, at all. I'm going to bed. I'll see you in the morning."

"Well that's not fair Aziraphale?!"

"This isn't fair? How. No seriously Crowley. How the 𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸? Is this not fair to you?!"

He started crying. Looking at the ground, refusing to even turn towards me.

"Aziraphale I'm s-"

"Don't."

He walked upstairs.

Fuck.

Fuck.

What have I done?

so sorry for the angst, dw I'm already writing a make-up chapter

thoughts?

[soloorganaas]

so. what do you think they were doin in there? collars, like greenie said could be? pancakes? holding each other and crying? bath time? watching pretty in pink?

ooohh LLAL headcanons!!

i think they communicated in some way before sirius actually went to remus's cottage. i have the hc that remus left hogwarts partly to try and go find/help sirius. his life was literally frozen in time whilst sirius was in azkaban he's just been waiting around without realising it so i think when he finds out sirius is innnocent and he's now out in the world remus cant sit still. so when sirius rocks up at his door one eve its not entirely out of the blue and they've already got some sort of foundation whatever that is

definitely did a lot of talking about harry and figuring out wtf just happened and what's going to happen, how to plan for and fight the war etc

honestly sirius would never have gone to stay with remus to start with if it wasn't him being sent there by dumbledore. he clearly wanted to be independent and on the run like there were so many other things he could have done than live in a cave outside of hogsmeade lmao. so i think there's a lot of suffocation and struggle there

they spend the first couple weeks dancing round their bullshit just like they've done all year, just like they did in the shack. 'forgive me remus'/'not at all padfoot old friend' like the way they interact here is such a dry understatement its them saying i know we've fucked up beyond belief there's too much hurt here to comprehend its almost laughable to even try and we have a job to do so lets push it aside. then that vibe just carries on

obvs at some point this all crashes bc sirius has been running on manic adrenaline for a year and has zero emotional regulation, and remus has been burying his feelings for over a decade. idk if its one big argument that feels a bit simplistic for them. but i think you know it gets really raw and real

and the thing is they literally dont have any choice but to get past it. the war is wound into their very relationship they cant do it without each other. they are trauma bonded to the core - they've seen and understood each other at their very darkest. and in some ways its a good thing, they can be true partners in a way no one else can, but in some ways its so toxic, bc they both accept the kind of hurt and betrayal that trauma breeds. they love each other bc of the darkness, they hurt each other bc of it, they cant be without each other bc of it

from then on its def a lot more holding each other and crying, a lot of vulnerability they dont know how to navigate, a lot of stumbles and falls. but remus has the advantage of 14 years more emotional maturity even if sirius is stunted af, and they both have so much more determination to try and so they do and they learn

bittersweet tender jokes about remus teaching sirius things he missed, sirius discovering new things with amazement, sirius doing sweet things for remus he does remember how to do (he would be so proud about making remus pancakes even though he'd never admit it)

i absolutely LIVE for soft emotional comfort baths together. i stg i write them into every hurt/comfort fic. they're everything

their first moon together again <3

padfoot running haywire in the fields and valleys behind remus's house just bc he can. long walks together. lots of cosying in front of the fire

sirius just disassociating constantly, having no sleep cycle. remus a wreck with anxiety too so half the time they just nap together on the couch

i think it takes them a while to have sex bc i think both of them just cant. whether physically or emotionally theyre both so scarred and have had defensive walls up for years and it takes a while to peel them down. so it just sort of happens slowly and hesitantly as they figure out what that means for them now. i love reading LLAL smut its so so beautiful and its always what i'd choose but in my heart of hearts i know they were just crying through handjobs that didnt always go anywhere

anyway i wrote two fics with v dif LLAL headcanons here and here and i also have to rec @msalexwp's bday fic for me which is my definitively fave LLAL fic of all time

[yuukei-yikes]

hibiya and takane at the end of the novels let me talk for a second😐😐😐😐😐😭😭😭😭ok erm novel spoilers duh

takane and hibiya werent at the lab with clearing and the rest bc they couldn't rly help (takane is doing shit as ene but if they took her body itd just be something the dan has to carry and as for hibiya in my sick twisted mind hibiyas thing is not ONLY cuz he cant help bc his powers take too much energy but its also bc the dan is trying to act like responsible older siblings and deciding hibiyas too young to be put in danger...sobsob. like it means a lot that hes the only one to survive aside from seto and mary. it's also funny how seto and mary are having an ugly crying party and hibiyas there like 😐) its a good team cuz ene can report back to the dan everything hibiya is seeing with his powers and hibiya can report to takane too *goes insane* its such a funny duo takane tasked as the worlds awfulest babysitter. you know in cartoons when the babysitter just ignores the kids and talks on the phone. hibiya and takane being teamed up together is literally that. except she goes inside the phone and all their friends are dying but thats a detail.

(also it hurts so much too bc of the whole haruka&konoha thing. the 2 characters most closely related to haruka and konoha being stuck together *my descend into madness is complete*)

i think their chapter together was interesting it made me poke my eyes out bc hibiya has to tell takane shintaro is dead and he's like OUGH...I DONT WANNA BE THE ONE TO TELL HER HER BEST FRIEND IS DEAD.. and then takane has a "weird" reaction, like basically doesnt break into tears or anything. and i know its because she had apparently discussed the possibility with shintaro previously (id kill to have read that convo. normal shintaka convo post reveal *shakes fist*) but the way she kind of tries to comfort hibiya in her own weird way and the whole thing being hibiyas pov its so clear she's trying to keep it together in front of him bc he's just a kid. and not only that but she says he reminds her of SHINTARO so she's like. ough ofc she acts like that. just by how she was as ene to shintaro she is being to hibiya rn to make him feel better. she knows she will die when she says goodbye to him after that as ene. IM GONNA PUKE

(she's... like so mature in her own stupid way. it rly hurts when in the following chapter when she's like on her way to die/just died she thinks abt how helpless she was and how she couldnt do anything even though she had just comforted hibiya and sacrificed herself for seto and marys sake. *bangs head against wall* TAKANEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!)

anyways i had all those thoughts bc i was like so since in novel route takane dies as ene... is her physical body also swallowed by the daze?? or is it just her soul, and when she's in the daze later its a haruka situation and both of them only have their consciousness kinda walking around as opposed to everyone else who is there with physical bodies? if that happened then hibiya would just be left on the roof of a random building with a corpse.

either way F for hibiya bc its either he's alone with a corpse or he gets jumpscared by another dimension opening and eating up the body. i do think her body gets swallowed tho and she just looks like ene in the daze cuz thats what she looks like in her mind (she's only been back in her physical body for like a day before this so lol)

either way. hc time but like. i just imagine hibiya realising takane isnt Really sleeping anymore and she Really wont wake up and Wow she doesnt have a pulse and even if he doesn't know her well, he is a kid and she is the adult that was keeping him company. so he kind of loses his mind. i feel so bad for him, what happened to him after takane leaves him??? bc we dont see him again til the end.

like even if he was technically already alone on the roof cuz takane was away as ene anyway, he knew she'd come back. but now shes NOT WAKING UP. he's looking at all this happen, all the people he's met in the last 2 days are dying one by one, the hope to find hiyori seems more and more ridiculous as the hours go on, konoha has been taken over by something Bad and is doing Bad things to people, he doesnt know if momo will be safe, its the middle of the night and he's in a city he doesnt know and the person, the adult, THE FRIEND supposed to be with him is NOT WAKING UP!!! i just imagine this little guy sobbing on takanes body begging her to wake up because he doesnt know how to get back to the hideout from here!! he doesnt know where he is!!! hey!! wakeup!! dont leave me by myself what am i supposed to do!!! and screaming when the daze swallows the body and hes just left alone for real. lol. anyways hows everyone doing

[bi-demon-ium]

S2 EP7 LIVEBLOG

TERRIFIED TERRIFIED

both at the summary and the little accidental spoilers ive gotten and just in general

ohhhh mr benedict is so obviously extremely nervous im sad

oh is she whammied

but is she whammied

big day tomorrow! lgfkjfgh

oh I think she got whammied

hes gonna be all “im sorry I couldn’t” and then shes like “okay!” bc whammied lmao

LKFGJFGHFH OH NO

SHE IS WHAMMIED THEN

oh this is terrifying

OHHHH HIS REACTION

“ARE YOU… HAPPY?”

HE LOOKS UPSET ABOUT IT

AND SHE LAUGHS OHHHH

oh kate you and your code w—DFLGKKJDFGKJFGH MILLIGAN GOT IT I LOVE THEM

“agreed”

I love them so much

“thank you for not fighting me on this” is she really though. or is it a trick

RUN SILENT, RUN DEEP. ALWAYS. OHHH

LOSING MY MIND

she set a timer lkdfjg yeah she’s definitely tricking them

oh reynie. naïve sweet summer child

but of course immediately willing to go along with things

LJDFGLKDGJKDJGKGJFGH

STRAITJACKETS

“REALLY”

AND CONSTANCE’S HUGE BEAM

“take them off. now.”

this is so funny what the fuck

jeffers cant even get out of it lfkghjfkghj

lkdfgjfg JEFFERS HELP

“just pull it” “…oh” and adjusting his sweatER

SDGKLJDGF CONSTANCE DFDFGDG JUST WRENCHING IT OFF AND JEFFERS JUST STARING DOWN FOR A SECOND

you’re EVIL

“oh! sticky! friend!”

hair loss lkjfglkjfghhg

ohhh youre gonna try and whammy sticky

I bet sticky isn’t affected bc he was whammied last time

more experience resisting

THEME SONG! AAAAAA

im so anxious I feel like im gonna throw up dljgfkjghhh

LDKGJFLKGJH THE HIGH KICK

ldkgj but when I think about it I want to resist OHHHH

“what if everything is just fine” “oh that sounds lovely”

SINGING????? GIRL

WHAT IS HAPPENING

AND HIS ANXIOUS REACTION LIKE HES SMILING BUT ALOS LIKE ????????

singing with her ohlkfgjhkfgjh this hurts me a bit

its adorable but also cringe

WOLVES??? OUCH LMAO DLKFJGDG

“RHONDA, IT’S A SAIL!”

HUGGGG DKGLJFLKGHJFGLH

DFKLGJDGJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND THERE WAS EVEN ONE WITH MILLIGAN!!!!!!!!!!

from a distance but still

the fabled rags of a hostage lkdjfglkdfjg

I KNOW????

SHE REQUESTED YELLOW

OF COURSE SHE DID

oh fuck auguste

is he gonna whammy all of them?????

a horse camel? did she just say horse camel?

“does it bother you to lie to him?” coming from reynie…. ohhh…

“just because you had to do something doesn’t mean you cant feel bad about it” “maybe I do feel bad”

LDKFJG I LOVE HOW EVERYONE KEEP ROASTING CURTAIN’S FASHION

RIGHTFULLY SO

sticky<3 nerd

I wonder if she does enjoy the scientific facts in one way or another she would just normally never admit it

LDKFGJKDFJG CONSTANCE

LSKFGJRFG [HUGS] “…….whats wrong with her” “curtain did it”

her wide eyed look of distress

terrifying , constance

“it’s highly unsettling” “it’s been great” oh sticky rip

HE STARTED DOING LONG DIVISION DLFKGJDLKFGJD

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH WHAT A NERD

also love how each of the mjust walked in and immediately found who they were looking for

its gonna be like “im not putting those on” [cut to those on]

ohhh

jackson and jillson’s abruptly stopped clapping ldgkjfghjfghfg

oh milligan’s smile is terrifying

and rhonda’s hair!!! oh I love her

I love that squinting face reynie makes when of the other says something wild

uh oh someone’s neck hurting! that’s bad

oh darlings. they’re not undercover.

LKDJFGLKJDFGKJDGF

IM SORRY THE CUT TO THE FROZEN GUY LFKGHJFGH

also curtain’s reaction + jackson and jillson being insane dlfkgjgfd

ohhh mr benedict is noticing something’s wrong

ohh just missed the kids

NICKY

OHHHHHHHH

is he okay?

are you sure?

“they seem… very happy to be with you”

ohh of course it would be concern for someone that would break through to him. of course it would be. god

another hug<33

terrifying! I mean expected but terrifying

milligan’s is somehow the scariest though the smile is so terrifyingly wide

it looks so scary and uncharacteristic I hate this

angsty horrific hug !

and rhonda my darling you look so good

god I mean we been knew this would be terrifying but it really is terrifying

“formed by suffering”????? OHHH

also telling constance she’s better as she is whammied.. I think they’re just trying to keep going without arguing but still. ouch

SHE WAS THE BRAINS LMAO

SHE STOLE THE JOURNAL DIDN’T SHE

YEAH SHE DID LMAO

I LOVE HER SO MUCH

ohhh mr benedict seeing all of this spying on them fglkhjfgh

also jackson and jillson continue to be.

wonderful

STOP YELLING AT THEM

LDKJGKLDFJG MARLON

“sleepers”

curtain’s visible “oh fuck” face ldkfgjkflghjgfh

DON’T BRING ME A PROBLEM WITH NO SOLUTION? SIR?

IM ATTACKING YOU

MR BENEDICT AND CONSTANCE REUNION!!!

hug <33

also garrison versus curtain journals ldkfjgg

IVE SUCCESSFULLY STOLEN SEVERAL ITEMS RECENTLY

cool little building montage!

THE THING MILLIGAN GAVE HER

ITS GONNA BE THE MULTI TOOL

SMALL MOVABLE BUILT TO LAST

YEAH

FUCK

FUCK YEAH!

“positive thinking” ironically

LKDFJG and then her follow up

MR BENEDICTS BACK IN THE CROWD???

lkdfjg and the dancing…. oh dear

and i know i should feel something ubt i couldn’t but that terrified me but i was relieved to feel the terror ohhhh

contemporary jazz and welsh folk style

“utterly THOUGHTFUL! ……what is it”

“iiii. don’t see anything :)”

ohhh his face… oh god

“you deliberately misled at the gates”

he didn’t even say anything about being brainwashed

MISS PERUMAL HELPING LFKHJFGH

all of their reactions the second they’re unwhammied….god

“IM VIBING”

“and I do. with my life”

JACKSON AND JILLSON DLKFGJDFGFGHFGH

“perspective ON the perspective!”

oh no bc mr benedicts been under the longest

oh god they’re not gonna unwhammy him are they

LKDJFRGLKDJGDLKGJDGLHKJFGH

THEY JUST FUCKING TACKLED HIM

JILLSON DISLOCATED HER GODDAMN SHOULDER???

oh no but it broke

I have a feeling it didn’t work

OH NO

and not constance either

oh auguste’s weird awkward little wave

“she gets a vote now???” “..she does :/”

CHOP OFF ITS HEAD

“…us” :)

ohhh

lkdfjgkjg hes practicing in the mirror

oh is he trying to hypnotize himself? or s he practicing

LKJDFLGKJDLFKG

TRANQUILIZER DART

“what? [sees dart] oh. I see.” [CRASH]

also FLOWER DELIVERY

love that I was right about them kidnapping curtain<3

I have a bad feeling that this isn’t going to go as planned

although love that they just have curtain in a little bundle. amazing

I love that they immediately jump to the right conclusion

aww they’re all asleep in a big pile

OH NOOOO HIS NECK

OH NOOOOO I MEAN I KNEW IT WAS COMING BUT FUCK

DISTRESS DISTRESS DISTRESS

[poems-of-a-lover]

nick watches spiderman (cont.)

im gonna make another post bc i have a feeling im close to hitting the text limit on my other one but we're still on the first movie!! im gonna try and get thru this movie soon bc i HAVE to get to the second ones before my demons get me

okay where we are rn ben just died and peters in his evil era tryin to find the guy who did it

like hes just goin up to random dudes and beating them up bc he thinks its The Guy when its not

and every time i watch this movie i forget if they find him or if the plot point is abandoned bc peter has bigger problems by then KJGSHLKGJHSKH guess we'll remember together

peter falls thru a roof and these guys just let him go. like they leave him there. to be fair what were they supposed to do but still.

this is where we get the inspo to make a suit!! he sees a wrestling poster and is like "that could be me =D"

agh i wanna look like him so BAD bro i wish that were me

shoutout to him STEALING FROM OSCORP to make his web fluid thats so funny

this handstand moment is apparently judged by a lot of fans as him becoming spiderman but theyre SO wrong that doesnt happen until later in the film in my opinion

like thats just my opinion but other ppl can be wrong ig /lh

also how did he get this police radio. how do any of the spidermans get their radios. did they take them from officers. can u buy them. whats goin on here.

omggggg its captain stacyyyyy he'll be important later

like. incredibly important. GKJHSGKJSHGKJ we'll get to him in a minute.

"spandex.....spandex.......everything.......spandex......" i love peter so much

HE'S MAKIN THE SUITTTTT HES GOT THE SUIT NOW!!!!! THE SUIT OF ALL TIME!!!!!!!!!

i love this suit sooooo much its so textured and i love the logo its so fun

this car thief scene is rlly the scene of all time i love it

so many good peter lines from this scene

"seriously? u rlly think im a cop? a cop in a skin tight red and blue suit? yknow, u have got the mind of a true scholar, sir" PETER PLEASE BE NORMAL

this head tilt. the peter head tilt. in this context its kinda menacing but hes so me coded bc i also do the head tilt thing KHGSKJDHGKJ

the first time i saw this scene and for a while after i thought he told the cop "i just TOOK 80% of ur job" after he took the gun but he actually says "i just DID 80% of ur job" bc he webbed the criminal and i was so disappointed bc i rlly thought he was making a solid dig at the police force but hes just being petty KJGHSKJGHKSJ

ugh him talking to may here makes me sooooo sad. "u dont have to wait up for me, yknow" "yes i do" SHE LOVES HER NEPHEW PLEASEEEE

shes so worried for her nephew. seeing him hurt just destroys her. this boy is all she has. she lost her husband, her brother, her sister in law, and seeing her nephew come home at god knows what time just beat up and wounded must be so heartwrenching and she cant do anything bc he wont talk to her. i love tasm may shes so interesting.

"aunt may please, please go to sleep." "i cant sleep! dont u understand? i cant sleep! peter, listen to me. secrets have a cost, theyre not for free. not now, not ever." SOOOOO TRUE QUEEN. I SENSE A THEME.

AND THEN HE JUST WALKS OFF. LEAVES HER THERE. AJHGJSKGJAGFSJHF

oh yeah they're pushing curt to start human trials when they cure isnt ready, oscorp is so incredibly corrupt and its done so well in both films

"people die. even norman osborn." AKJGHKJSAGH SOOOOOO TRUE. YES. I HATE NORMAN SO MUCH.

also sorry for just quoting this movie so much it has so many good lines that i could talk about for the rest of my life

oh yeahhhhh this guy wants to start human trials??? at the veterans hospital?????

ugh theyre talking about plot that we dont learn until like the second film so its not important yet but its such a cool thing later on

PETER AND GWENNNNN I LOVE THEM

she really cares about him and it makes me so happy

shes inviting him to dinner!!!! with her family!!!!! its a family hes never met eating a meal hes never heard of but still its with the girl he really likes so hes gonna just deal with it and show up anyway

ugh normans doing things /neg

hes doing human trials. on himself. lets see how this goes HGKJSDHGKJL

oh hi peter. dinner date time.

he brought gwens mother flowers???? KWHGKSJGHSKJHGK theyre a little messed up bc they were in his bag while he was swinging but still!!! he brought flowers for this girls mom hes so sweet

"you must be peter" "dad this is. peter." thank u gwen

oh yeah i failed to mention that the captain of the police department is gwens dad if u didnt catch that from his last name

curt has his arm back!!! the cure worked!!!! hoping and praying that nothing bad happens and he just gets to live a normal life and be happy from now on

he has to go catch the one guy that i forgot the name of (edit its dr ratha) from going to the veteran hospital but the cure is backfiring so hes like. goin thru it. lizard moment.

anyway peter cant cut fish corrcctly

hes never had a fancy meal like this!! hes a little dumb!!!

uh ohhhh theyre talking about spidermannnnn yikes

this is what it feels like to talk politics with relatives

"if i wanted the car thief off the street, he wouldve been off the street" "so why wasnt he then?" PETER. CHILL. UR TRYING TO DATE HIS DAUGHTER PLS BE NICE

"its called strategy, im sure ur aware of the term strategy? maybe u learned about that in school?" MR STACY U ARE ALSO NOT HELPINGGGG

"i think he stands for what u stand for, sir. protecting innocent people from bad guys." banger line right there skajfhksjd

peter still apologized and said that he didnt mean to insult mr stacy but still ksajdfhkjsd cmon peter be nice

BIG PLOT HOLE HERE. peter webs gwen and pulls her closer and she goes "youre spiderman?" before he kisses her. HE HASNT GOTTEN THAT NAME YET. NO ONES CALLING HIM SPIDERMAN YET. WHERE DID SHE GET THAT.

ugh it gets me every time like where did that come frommmm

peter pulling away completely and turning around when her mother catches them is so funny hes trying to be respectful

uh oh crime time

HE JUST JUMPS OFF THE ROOF. BYE.

so yeah curt connors is now a giant lizard monster thing trying to find dr ratha and?? kill him???? okay yeah kill him he just threw his car off the bridge

peter has this moment of either going after lizard or helping save this mans son and he goes to save the kid and i love peter so much

hes also very very good with kids. he convinces this little boy that his mask has special powers to help the kid get out of the car safe and its so sweet

like this kid is terrified and honestly so is peter but hes staying calm and convincing this kid that this mask will make him stronger so he can save him. THIS is the moment i was talking about. this is when peter becomes spiderman.

the moment he gave that kid back to his father alive and safe is when he became a superhero. thats also when he coins the name. but this exact moment is what made him into the actual hero rather than just having the name. he gets home and he stares at his mask bc now he knows he has an immense responsibility to save peoples lives and keep them safe.

i love this movie

oh yeah mr stacy issued an arrest warrant for spiderman after the bridge attack thats so silly of him.

more petergwen lets goooo

"does it scare you? what you can do?" "no." "...youve got to lay low." "no, cant do that." "youve got to. i mean, why?" "because of last night. those people on the bridge. whatever was attacking them wouldve killed them. so i gotta go after it." "thats not your job." "maybe it is." SUCHHHHH A GOOD CONVERSATION. UGH.

OKAY IM GONNA. LEAVE THIS ONE HERE. ive finally got motivation so im gonna keep it going in a reblog like right away but im gonna stop this post here before it gets too long skjhfksjd

[bunnihearted]

.

[bittwitchy]

i’m gonna be a thousand percent real w you guys for a min, its gonna be under a read more, and it revolves around fears and pains and scary medical things and g/ov3r/nm3nt bullshit and stuff which is uhhh destroying me mentally and physically ig ahahahhaa

so like as some ppl know, when i was leaving work late nov/early dec of 22, i fell and injured my ‘leg’, it was a few days before i turned 26 and i couldnt get a doc appt in time w a real doc, and ofc bc i was on the male parentals insurance and it was based out of texas despite US being in california, i got completely fucked over bc they didnt want ro cover shit and i had to argue with them til almost the very end of december or so just to see a nurse practitioner who didnt know wtf she was gonna do, and refused to listen to me when i said i was not going to have insurance in a week. i cannot afford any expansive anything right now and anything that i have to do needed to be done before the end of december. all she said was ‘i hope you get better then, but they will call you when they feel like it.’

its been over a year, im still not better, because i was not clocked in at the time, and was injured in the parking lot, hr already said they wont cover it. even if i was only at that location (not my home location) for them, i was not clocked in and therefore they hold no responsibility, and the parking lot had no cameras anyways. its all just word of mouth so. i got fucked there too. C/alo/ptima has been fujcing useless and wont even send me my new insurance card so i can get a new regular pcp who will refill even just my fucking inhaler because the guy they gave me refused to even refill that.

now, when ive gotten the leg scans, they cant find anything. they dont know whats wrong. ‘oh youre just fat, lose weight and you’ll be fine.’

breathing shots pain into my leg. and the pains been spreading. ive been getting a little bit of weird treatment at work despite dlat out ignoring and pushing through my pain to please people and that wasnt even enough because i still got some pretty weird ass treatment from some ppl in management despite the fact im not choosing this, and ignoring it makes everything worse.

and ive been trying to push through and ignore it and hope it heels, because the medical system isnt going to help me, neither is the company, and i live in california. i really just cant afford the medical system here anyways.

i think when i fell, it clipped a nerve into my spine, because for those unaware im that special brand of au/tistic who can tell you the exact point of origin of my pain. from tooth pain to headaches to even searing body aches, i can tell you where it starts and where it ends. but i also have a massive pain tolerance (ive had 8 root canals and local anesthesia doesnt work on me thanks to adhd, i can and have had 9 bottles injected in and nothing happened, so i just dont use it and ignore the horrendous fucking pain of your nerves being killed because i dont want to bother anyone. THAT is my pain tolerance level, and i cant tolerate this.)

the pain is spreading to both of my legs, and when i ignore it i end up toppling over. i used to be a hula dancer, professional as a kid, still for rec until i got hurt. i cant do it anymore. i can barely walk. when i force myself into events and shit that requires walking, it feels like my entire body is being crushed the next day, and during the actual day of doing but thats obvious.

i dont know how to take it anymore, nothing is helping, no one is helping me, and even people who try to help me its like the system is working for them despite refusing to work for me. i really well and truly dont know what to do about this anymore. the pain from my spine isnt only in that leg now, its in both legs and keeps creeping to my arms. im obviously not gonna get help from the company, and even talking to a lawyer its a fucking long shot that i could get anything done from them at all since the parking lot didnt have cameras. i already have eds, and this has been setting off the issues relating to it even more. i was meant to get tested for pots before i lost insurance back then, but new doctor doesnt believe women can experience pain at all, and are lying for attention if they admit to it.

breathing is fucking painful, and i dont know what to do. i can just keep doing what im doing and ignoring my pain and pushing through to please everyone because its not like the system helps, but the system is working for others and when i do what they recommend i do it not only still doesnt work for me, but i get threats from it. i dont know if its because im autistic or not, indont know why it works for others and not for me, i dont understand and when i try to get answers all people say is ‘just push through’ but im trying and its making everything worse and im breaking my body more and more by just pushing through and indont want to get kicked off of c/alo/ptima for bothering them too much by not getting answers despite my efforts because i did get threatened and incant afford $250-500 monthly fees from my state if i dont have insurance. $250 is more than i earn a week. jts not like im getting hours at work. and i really just am so fucking broken and tired and confused and done i dont know what to do and im tired of being in pain. i just want the pain to go away. i dont want to cry anymore. i dont want to be confused and scared and alone anymore. its like everythings collapsing down and i dont know what to do.

and to top it all off, the skin welts and lesions that my old doctor was so terrified of me having are back. theyre a symbolism of my white blood cell count, and last time i got them he had me get blood tests every few months because he was worried about my developing leukemia. and everytime it got too high he gave me something to try snd prevent it, and ultimately i was ‘almost there but narrowly escaped’, and i dont know how im supposed to just keep pushing and keep living and keep going it that happens too. especially when incant afford a blood test right now. i dont know what im doing or who i am anymore and its destroying every semblance of who i am that i had left, and i just want to make everyone happy but im not happy. im not happy snd im not getting help snd i feel so defeated and indont understand how other people can argue andnits fine but i do it and i get threatened or retaliated against.

indont understand how if i do whats recommended im misbehaving and being wrong but others can do what they want. its like im a kid again but instrad of being beaten im just getting fucked over medically even more snd my body gets to further destroy itself and i dont know whay the fuck left there is to do. its like everythings collapsing down on me, jm not getting the samw care or treatment others get, and i dont think im going to because i cant keep fighting a system thats going to only verbally threaten me because they wont respond to emails. i cant use recorded conversations in court here. im scared and im tired and im in constant pain and had to beg my old doctor to send an inhaler refill without my seeing him because the new one wouldnt and my lungs were giving out. i dont want to die but it feels like its heading rhat way whether i want to or not because nothing and nobody will help me and when they try they get mad at me for ‘not trying harder’ but im doijt everythint they say and more and its nothing. nothings coming crom it but my suffering. but if i say its not my fault its ‘making excuses’ and injust cant keep doing this anymore. im so tired, and im in so much pain, and indont know what to do.

[assghost]

i am weird...

i was always told to go play outside, but i was afraid bc i hated loud sounds. so when my sisters got new phones i asked my mom for one, so i could play and text her if something bad happens.

i was 8 then.

i didnt call my mom for 6 years bc i hated the sound. i only texted her. i was the silent youngest child that got everything i wanted but i never wanted too much. and while my sisters stole some money from mom, i asked her whenever i needed some to a point that she put a jar with money for me to take whenever i needed, but even then big numbers scared me.

i was 12 then...

and now i see children... 4 years old... with a phone, a tablet and still wanting more. 8 year olds never letting go of their phones and walking from the bus to school with their noses in their phones, phones cracked as hell...

...and i have only broken my phone once...

My sisters had broken their phones many times, but i only broke it from a small fall...

my sisters are 8 years older than me, they finished school when i had just started, they tought me math before everyone so it would be easy...

why arent other kids like me... why are they so loud and annoying, why cant they just enjoy the sun and the quiet breeze... it hurts...

My ears and head hurts.

So i play the guitar my sister taught me and sing songs from many languages that i learnt from the internet thinking that would help me feel better and find how i should feel. But it only made me lost... so i went to art school, finished it and went a few extra years just to learn watercolors and try something else. But did it help?

I always talk too quiet, nobody hears me fully... if i speak im misunderstood, ignored or just not noticed... so i try to have good grades, go to contests to show something... but i still don't know how to learn... Maybe someone might hear this plea...

Everything rises, sounds all rise, pain rises, prices rise, temperature differences rise... and i feel cold so i lie down... my numbers are doing great, but everything else is too difficult to understand... i feel blind... my mind is only of shadows and midnight darkness, i can't see without my glass... es... so i let time go, let others choose what to do, because i can't see any options without you showing them to me...

Im an useless child... why am i different...

My sister had a baby, never let him get out of her sight, never left him with our mom for longer that 15 seconds. All guests were told to wash their hands as soon as they came in to their house, so the house could be kept clean. All walls white, cabinets white. Clothes of the parents were dark, bed and sofa were dark, the child was kept light.

My sister sent her 2 year old to kindergarden... she always kept his away from screens, bright lights and such so he would not be overstimulated. He only gets music from phones and toys... his parent never sing or hum to him... his father acts more like a child than him and his mother always hides under her impression of the father... the child doesn't like to be alone...

Oh what will become of him...

my mom sung to me whenever she hugged me and i loved going to her every single day just to hug her and hear her voice...

my oldest sister ran away from home a few times before i was born...

the other sister liked sleeping over at her friends so mom drove her all those 34 kilometers to her friend whenever she asked...

i always hated the thought of sleepovers because whenever sisters brought their friends to our house it was very loud... i feared i wouldn't know how to act in a friends house...

why am i different...

[floralarsenic]

raises gun. you Will appreciate leon

[batz]

lol safeways closed nd im close to digging into my savings just to eat some damn food today bc who needs a proper bed when u can actually have vegetables fr the first time in a week

[leossmoonn]

ooh ok academic rival!matt coming into your dorm hoping to study only to find you touching yourself in the shower and moaning his name 😩

Okay I just. I love the concepts abt Matt catching the reader masturbating and whatnot I just. Idk why it gets me so 👹👹👹👹

16+

“You need a condom,” Foggy smirks. “Ha-ha,” Matt frowns. “I’ll be back soon. Save some take out for me.”

“Will do, brother. Have fun,” Foggy winks.

Matt’s face turns the slightest shade of pink. He walks to your dorm, unlocking it (bc he has a key lol).

“Y/n, you in here?” Matt calls out.

Obviously you’re not there. He walks around your dorm room. He then hears the shower. He doesn’t know how he didn’t hear it before, he was just too focused on being with you hehe.

He’s about to leave bc obvs you’re busy, but then he hears his name.

“Matt, fuck. Oh, Matt. Ahhh, fuck.”

His face just turns red and he doesnt miss how tight his pants seem suddenly. He knows he should walk away but fuck, he cant. He’s been literally dreaming about a moment like this and now that’s it’s finally happening,,,, he just wants to know if he can see it out.

He slowly walks closer, your moans getting louder and louder. Man, he just wants to burst through the door and take care of you himself. But he knows he can’t. He’s gotta approach this the right way so you dont murder him lmao.

He knocks softly on the bathroom door. “Y/n? You in here?”

Your moans suddenly stop and the water stops after a few moments. He hears you shuffling and cursing to yourself. You open the door, thankful Matt can’t see how embarrassed you are.

“H-Hey, Matt. What’s up?”

“U-Uh, it’s five.”

“Really?” Your brows raise. “Shit. I’m so sorry. I just woke up from a nap and —”

“No its all good. We’re both the smartest people in the class. One night of not studying won’t hurt us.”

You laugh, “yeah, true. Um… anyways, we can hang out still if you want. I just need to finish my shower.”

“Yeah, no go ahead. You, uh, want any help.”

Now Matt flirting with you and saying these things were not unusual. You two always have had a flirty relationship.

“Maybe next time,” you giggle.

“Well, don’t you want help finishing otherwise?” He asks.

You’re like oh shit lmaooo. “U-Um… what do you mean?”

“C’mon, you’re not that quiet.”

The demeanor changed totally and you can’t help but feel turned on. You decide to play the game

“I’ve never been one to be quiet, anyways.”

He chuckles, “I’ve noticed. You know, I haven’t showered today.”

“Oh, really?” You smile. “Mhm. Mind if I join you?” He asks.

“Mm, I don’t mind.”

Cut to you two fucking up against the wall while the shower is running. Matt is grabbing your hips and ass, holding you up as your tits bounce up and down against his chin. His face is buried in your neck. He’s so consumed by your scent and the way you feel. You’re so wet and warm he just fits into you like a glove. Your body is so soft and you just feel beautiful and he has no doubt you look beautiful.

He spent so much time before fucking you touching you, committing everything to memory. He doesn’t want this to be a one time thing, but if it is, he wants to memorize all of you.

Your legs are wrapped around his waist, your back arched and your head moving up and down against the wall. Your nails are digging into his shoulders and you can’t help but look into his pretty eyes. The way the roll back whenever you clench around him, how they darken even more every time you say his name. And man, that body of his. If you knew he was this fit you would’ve jumped his bones a long time ago.

[tendouluvr]

aizawa calling you clingy - gn reader

- [attempt at] angst to fluff

- warnings: being called clingy, aizawa gets annoyed with reader and berates them, one use of the word ‘shit’

- wc: 1.9k

a/n: this wasnt......as sad as i wanted... i cant tell if im just not so good at writing angst or immune to it T_T

once again, not edited!

#! aizawa!!!! eee

#! hes a levelheaded man so arguments are rare

#! u both trust one another so theres no reason to have doubts in ur relationship

#! being his s/o, he tells u things thats not so easy to tell others over time, and you’re patient enough to let him take however much time he needs to let u in

#! however, years of keeping to himself most of the time doesnt just disappear even if you’re his s/o

#! so aizawa does have this tendency to close off and distance himself from u bc of his stress and insecurities

walking through the spacious halls of ua, you were headed towards your lovely boyfriend. aizawas been pretty busy lately with teaching his class, making sure no one is being left behind progress wise, doing his job as a pro-hero, and then spending his free time training with shinsou.

you knew showing up at school unexpectedly was something aizawa found irky, that’s why you made sure to tell him the night before that you would be coming during lunch time to bring him some yummy homemade food.

humming softly to yourself, you finally reached the door opening to class 1-A and walked in. the classroom was empty, but there at the front was no one other than mr. aizawa shouta. you quickly greeted him with a smile and he turned to look at you.

“what are you doing here?” he slowly asked with a look of confusion.

“i brought you some food! did you eat yet? i hope not, i made-,” you quickly stopped talking once you noticed the look he was giving you.

“why are you here? i already told you, you shouldnt be showing up without letting me know first. our relationship is quiet, if the students see they’ll get noisy and ask questions, i’ll get bombarded by my colleagues, and it’ll put you in danger if words get out. did anyone see you coming here? can you listen to me for once instead of continuing to always be near me? you’re so damn clingy and need to start thinking about the consequences your action will bring. i already ate, just go home before anything happens.”

your jaw dropped a little after hearing what he just said to you. did he not remember what you told him last night?

worst of all, you couldnt believe he just called you clingy. you just wanted to do something nice for him by making his favorite food hoping that it’ll relieve some of the stress thats been building up, but he just thought of you as clingy.

fine, if clingy is what you are then you’ll stop bothering him. you quickly whispered an apology, not sure if he could hear or not, and began making your way back home as fast as possible. the food you made for him was still tightly grasped in your hand.

due to the new dormitories, aizawa stays at ua majority of the time. he comes home to your shared apartment whenever he can to spend time with you. unfortunately, those time aren’t usually much because as soon as he’s free, he’s quick to do something else.

once you’ve made it home, you packed the food away and put it in the fridge. you felt your phone buzzing repeatedly, already guessing who it could possibly be, you took it out to see it was your boyfriend.

shou <3: im sorry

shou <3: honey, im so sorry. pls text me back when u can

shou <3: i know what i said hurted u, but i promise u i dont mean it. pls just call me or text me so we can talk about this

shou <3: i have to go back now. but i love u. so much.

staring at your screen, you contemplated texting him back.

letting out a sigh, you decided not to.

putting your phone to the side, you walked to the bedroom and changed out of your clothes into the comfy pjs you were wearing right before you left.

seeing that there was nothing for you to do other than wallow in your insecurities and let out a few tears, you got into bed and made yourself comfortable for an afternoon nap.

aizawa on the other hand was at school and distracted. his own words kept replaying over and over in his head and all he wants to do is smack himself a few times (after comforting u ofc).

his students could tell he was in a badder mood than usual so they collectively agreed to not worsen it (one particular student does not care. can u guess?). aizawa just wanted the day to pass so he can apologize to you directly and make it up with some cuddling.

despite being distracted with planning his apology and thinking about you, he was still teaching as he should and constantly telling his students to be quiet because he’s intimidating like that.

a few hours passed, the students are back in their dorms and some of the teachers are still in school finishing up some work. the hallways were empty and silent, and the weather outside was nice and calm - not too sunny with just the right amount of wind.

however, if you were to peek your head inside of class 1-A at the moment, the environment is an exact 180. aizawa is quickly trying to grade the remaining stack of papers he has on his desk so he can leave as soon as he can. there’s papers everywhere, he’s not so sure where the answer key went off to but to hell with the answer key. he just needs to go home.

his hair is messily tied up and his lips have probably been gnawed off by now. as soon as school ended, he got out his phone to see if you replied and sadly you didn’t. he doesn’t blame you though, considering all of the shit he said to you earlier. 

finally writing down the fat score in red pen onto the final paper, he gathers everything and put to the side of his desk and packed up his stuff. his stuff being his yellow sleeping bag and that’s it.

he went to his room first to clean himself up a bit, and then grabbed a taxi to go to your shared apartment. arriving at the front door, he takes out his copy of the key and entered.

first thing he noticed while entering and taking off his shoes was that the apartment was dark and quiet. he made his way to the kitchen first and turned on its lights to check the fridge. in the fridge laid the food you made for him earlier today. he took it out to start heating it up in the microwave then he walks away from the food and to your bedroom.

quietly opening the door, he poked his head in to see you laying on your side with your back facing the door. he assumed you were asleep and gently closed the door to not wake you up. he made his way over to the bed and sat on the edge of it. 

you, feeling the bed dip, slowly opened your eyes to be greeted with the sight of your boyfriend gingerly brushing his fingertips across your cheekbones. he notices that you’re awake and looks up to meet your eyes.

making eye contact with him, you quietly grunted and brought the blanket up to cover your face while turning your entire body to the other side to ignore him. aizawa sighed and brought his hand down to rest on your waist as he begins talking.

“yn... i know you’re.. mad at me for the things i said to you earlier, but i’m truly sorry. i know saying i didn’t mean it isn’t good enough for you to forgive me, but i want you to know i’m really really sorry. i’ve been so busy for the past few days, my head is all over the place, seeing you at school just got me overthinking and worried that i ended up saying things about you that’s not true at all. i love you so much, hun. you’re the best thing to happen to me. you don’t have to forgive me now, i understand if you want some space.”

it was silent for some time after he finished his apology. the echoing silence was slowly making aizawa worried that you’ll leave him, but he won’t tell you that. thinking that you wanted space, he lifted his shaky hand off of your waist and moved to get off of the bed when you suddenly grabbed onto his hand to keep him there.

“i...i told you the day before that i was going to be visiting you during lunch time. did you not remember? or even hear me tell you?”

aizawa situated himself back down onto the bed before replying. “if i’m being honest, i don’t really remember much of that day at all. my brain was occupied with work and rest, so i was practically drained by the end of the night. i’m sorry i took it out on you, it’s my fault for overworking when i know you’ve been trying to help.”

letting out a soft sigh, you turned your body back towards him. still holding onto his hand, you carefully slotted your fingers in between his and pulled him down to lay with you. he immediately found comfort in this and placed his head into your neck. you could feel his facial hair against your skin making you let out a quiet giggle.

“i love you. i know you have a habit to overwork since that’s all you did before we dated, but please shou, take care of yourself. im not talking physically, cuz you’re already so damn fine, but mentally. i hate seeing you bury yourself in work and training that it even makes me tired just watching you.”

he grumbled something against your neck - his usual reaction to you complimenting him - and held onto you tighter while putting light kisses on your collarbone.

“i know. i will. please bear with me, i know i’m a pain but i’ll always try to be my best for you. i’m never letting you go, love you too much for that.”

“hmm? who said i’m going? you’re stuck with me forever just so you know,” you laughed and patted his head before rising from the bed.

“i heard you heating up the food earlier. get up and come eat,” you tugged aizawa to get him off the bed.

he grumbled once again because he was being forced to leave the warm comfort of your shared bed, but followed you out anyway holding onto your hand.

“wait. you heard me entering? so you were pretending to sleep when i got here?! not funny, babe. not funny. -also don’t take sleep for granted. i did and look where that got me. stop laughing!”

bonus:

it was the next day and aizawa just finished passing out the grades he rushed grading yesterday. even though it was rushed, he was confident that there wasn’t any mistakes-

“aizawa sensei, you marked this question wrong when it’s right. this one too. and this other one on the last page. are you trying to fail me?!” denki dramatically wailed as he showed aizawa his papers.

guess he did make mistakes after all.

[insertdisc5]

Hi!! I wanted to ask, in celebration of Deltarune CH. 2, do you have any updated thoughts and head canons about the game?? Like, y'know, similar to a previous ask about Kris in your Deltarune tag? Thanks!

thoughts on kris part 2 i guess???? (part 1 from ch1 here lol)

spoilers for deltarune like woah. this wont be kris focused just random thoughts on everything. thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk

not that many thoughts for this chapter tbh! EDIT LOL: this was a lie i have a lot of thoughts

-just in general i feel like the player isn't the only one controlling kris... like yes the player forced kris to do what happened in the snowgrave route but AT THE SAME TIME idk it feels like there's someone else too. just because of the terrifying voice i suppose. and also the jerky movement kris does every time they get their soul out? unless there's another reason for it... maybe getting your soul out means you walk weird lol

-BUT ALSO i feel like kris is 100% in control when they create fountains. idk it just makes sense kris would create them. to create another world, a better world, A WORLD WHERE THEIR BROTHER IS HERE PERHAPS? i do wonder why they get their soul out then though. i'm all for it sweetie! do whatever! i support you!

-(i am and will be playing deltarune with only kris' best interests in mind. i will not hurt anyone unless kris wants me to. dont worry my little meow meow im on your side! talk to me! no? okay ill stay under the sink its fine)

-speaking of asriel. SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER (starts crying) V-VACATION COLLEGE WHEN

-kris misses their brother so much it's so sad. if you make kris steal 5$ from asriel they take it "reluctantly"? talking to asriel online so often even alphys knows?? the google search?? GOING INTO ASRIEL'S GOOGLE SEARCH ROOM WITH THEIR EYES CLOSED BECAUSE THEY'RE CONVINCED THEY ALREADY KNOW WHATS IN THERE? THAT ONE IS LESS OF A MISSING THING BUT IM LIKE OH MY GOD

-the city walk with susie at the end makes it clear to me that kris really values susie's friendship... kris even sits with her if you spend long enough near the lake like aaaaah ;_;

-and even in snowgrave you spend your last acts with the final boss calling for your friends like YES there's a way bigger creepy aspect to this (kris as more of a Leader who Commands and commands their subjects to come) but still :'0 (and then noelle answers oh my god noelle im so sorry for the trauma)

-berdly. listen. listen. listen. liste

-berdly sucks but [berdly hurts his arm in the battle against queen if you don't save him because he doesnt want to hurt you] [berdly realizing smg's wrong in snowgrave and immediately taking steps to save noelle] berdly is my little crumb nugget. i will protect him.

-noelle. noelle. girlboss!

-like ooooh listen. hearing about the genocide path for undertale. made me go "that is SO COOL. i HAVE to experience it myself this is great. hehehe killing time" and like no regrets. i was fully enjoying the experience knowing i was an awful person. SNOWGRAVE THOUGH. i will never try this myself its too fucked up. casually grooming your childhood friend to murder people <3 and also acting like a weird stalker towards her <3 stockholm syndrome speedrun i will get all the info i can about this but i will never do this myself

-people remarking the kris/player>noelle relationship is similar to the relationship between player>chara in genocide path is like yes. chefs kiss. don't worry we just are making you stronger and everything will be fine "you made me kill my friend? and for what?" this is fine sweetie don't worry about it!!!!!!

-like the amount of details added to snowgrave, like if you equip noelle's watch she notices later? and her battle animations change as time goes on, she gets an ice shield and stops sighing in relief after battle? oh my god? oh my god.

-(berdly is not awake.) JUST KILL ME RIGHT HERE I HAVEN'T STOPPED THINKING ABOUT BERDLY NOT BEING AWAKE!!!!!

-also why didnt he turn into dust. so many possible reasons. is magic a thing in the normal world and perhaps no magic means no dust (theres graves). maybe he isnt dead. maybe hes braindead. maybe he'll come back. either way that boy is now in the closet big enough to put someone in

-also dess' name probably being december AND THATS WHY NOELLE LOST THE SPELLING BEE?!?!??! FUCK ME UP!!!!! JUST FUCK ME UP!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!

-also so many good pixel art this chapter. too many? i didnt need pixel art of cardboard noelle falling on the statue. like thank you but please. please it hurts my game artist brain.

-the expressions in this chapter were also top notch. all the unsettling noelle expressions like (i fall over face first)

-i threw away the ball of junk (which i already tried in ch1) and this time the game was like "ARE YOU SURE BC THIS IS A BAD IDEA" and kris felt bitter :'( (it deletes all your items in the dark world)

-i uh fucked up and skipped the susie+noelle scene bc listen last time ralsei mentionned seeing what susie is doing we missed some PRIMO LORE. turns out it just makes you skip the scene and you dont get anything new. welp

-speaking of ralsei well you know. he exists. but im stuck on him going "i just wonder what being ralsei-like even is...?" ralsei my dude there's so much i could say about this. do you feel like you can't be ralsei-like because you feel like you have to be asriel-like

-but also that makes no sense bc susie hasnt even mentioned ralsei looks like asriel. and i cant imagine asriel being so meek. so WHAT GIVES

-ralsei as kris’ “i wish i was a monster just like my bro and family and i’d look like asriel but with red horns [THE HALLOWEEN COSTUME] and my name would be something cool like ralsei instead of a boring human name like kris and im sweet and cute because thats how i act with asriel because ASRIEL MADE ME” theory because that would be cute.

-ASRIEL GOING TO THE CHURCH TO CONFESS HIS "SINS" WHEN "SINS" AREN'T A THING IN THE ANGEL BELIEF LIKE I KNOW THIS INTERACTION WAS TREATED AS A JOKE BUT WHAT THE FUCK ASRIEL?

-kris definitely has a connection with the big red door in the city, judging by what the kids say they probably went there... i feel like this place's dark world will be the Final Dungeon you KNOW some shit happened there. also the sounds you hear when you go there is the phone dark world call's sound slowed down? AND AFTER SNOWGRAVE APPARENTLY YOU CANT HEAR IT ANYMORE? HUWAH?

-speaking of songs the songs were all so good, My Castle Town rules, the berdly snowgrave music is stuck in my head, flashback is uwah wuahah, Until Next Time is so good, AND ALSO A FRIEND NOTICED THE DARK WORLD CITY THEME IS JUST tHE SONG 74 (MOST NOTICEABLE WITH THE SNOWGRAVE VERSION)?????? WHAT DOES IT MEAN????? it might be just "hey its just reuse" BUT MR FOX YOU KNOW WE'RE GONNA READ INTO THIS IS NOELLE THE ONE SINGING IDK BRO!!!!!!!!!!

-asgore dreemurr fired from the force what happun!!!!! game theory is that asgore is related to dess' death/disappearance but eh who knows

-you start the chapter at lvl2 and get to lvl3 after the final boss, a friend mentioned this is probably because we destroyed a world and im :0

-to go back to kris it's still so interesting to figure out who they are based on how they act/people mention them. like kris shaking the ferris wheel car? yeah makes sense i can imagine a pranking kid do this. kris' dance? yeah thats a little silly but i can buy it. doing cool anime poses? well i dunno this doesnt line up PERFECTLY but sure. BUT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN SNOWGRAVE... especially >proceed like that is such a weird thing that i can't imagine them doing, but i can't completely see the "player" doing either (compare with going to sans -which kris doesnt know- and going "SANS!" because of course the player would know sans), like THATS one of the reasons i feel like there's someone else in there. the weird robotic merciless actions. if im going super meta it feels like there'd be someone else like writing the choices into existence for us to pick you know? gaster probably? god i need to read more gaster theories i completely sidestepped the gaster shit bc i wasnt interested. anyway just spitballing

-(looks at big shot guy) please dont make him the next tumblr guy i beg you

-obligatory "queen was great" mention if only because this part made me laugh a little bit too hard

that was a lot. thank you for letting me talk