#but really looking for ways to reduce doom scrolling

[pig-wings]

Mutuals do any of you have e-readers? Which one? Do you like it? Do you use it?

[urdreamgirlangel]

a soft exit from doom scroll culture 𐙚🧸ྀི

Life wasn’t created to be lived through a screen, it was created to be lived through experiences ₊˚⊹ ᰔ michi

I constantly feel like I’m missing out on life. I’m never physically doing anything but I am always.. always scrolling. And for what? To be entertained. For those weak ass dopamine hits. To distract myself from my thoughts and my mental state. To have an excuse as to why I’m not doing something.

Neglecting yourself? Doomscrolling? Having trouble sleeping? Eyes always tired? Unhappy? Always feeling drained and tired?

Don’t you guys ever feel like you’re missing out? I mean you must since you’re here.

So I decided to try a digital detox.

Not in some extreme, delete-everything-and-vanish kind of way (I actually tried that many times and failed each one). I just wanted to see what would happen if I gave my brain a break. If I stopped reaching for my phone the second I felt bored, uncomfortable, or lonely. If I actually let myself sit with things instead of escaping into a timeline that never ends.

It was weird at first.

My brain kept telling me to “check something,” whether it's Instagram, TikTok, even Pinterest like ?? girl for what?? I realized I’d trained myself to need noise. Constant noise. And without it? I felt unsettled. Quiet. But underneath all that static, there was something else too. A kind of peace I didn’t know I missed. My mind actually started to feel like mine again.

Because the truth is, I don’t want to live a life I’m watching from the sidelines. I don’t want to be so overstimulated I can’t even hear myself think. I want to choose what I consume. What I feel. What I do with my time.

I want to remember that I don’t have to perform every moment. I don’t have to be productive to be worthy. I don’t have to post everything to prove I exist.

Sprinkles ˖ ᡣ𐭩 ⊹ ࣪

I thought to myself I should have rules. I should try setting rules and boundaries because, as I said, social media isn't the problem, but rather how we use and interact with it is.

When you do scroll, do it purposefully (because you’re looking for something specific rather than because you’re just bored and you’re trying to entertain yourself quickly)

Delete and uninstall any apps you no longer use & make note of the ones you use too much - a lot of similar posts I’ve read on this topic always talk about keeping tumblr because it’s not that bad blah blah.. But can you really say you don’t scroll mindlessly on here? People use tumblr as an escape from all those other apps, but at the end of the day, it’s still social media.

Set time limits for screen use

Reduce use bit by bit

be careful with what you consume

Don’t be afraid to be bored. You are going to be bored and lonely.

Silence your notifications

Realize it’s okay to have social media but it shouldn’t be abused

Be in the moment. You don’t need to have a hot girl walk with a podcast playing in your ear. Bitch, be the podcast. Yap to yourself and look fucking crazy because I do. And it’s fun.

Find something to do with your free time, in my post Pretty Girl Content, you will find some hobby suggestions, or even in my Enhance Your Whimsy posts.

Tech-free zones - keeping your phone out of the bathroom, kitchen, bed, dining area

Check-in windows: only check social media during scheduled times

A ‘why I opened this’ list - every time you open an app, ask yourself why and write it down. Write it down. After a few days, review it to see your patterns and learn from them. nd if you wanna share thats ok too!

Dopamine Menu - a list of things that gives you pleasure or satisfaction a healthy way. instead of reaching for your phone when you feel lonely, bored or restless, pick something off the list and then do it.. They start easy with the first course, then require more effort and engagement as the course goes up.

Angel’s Dopamine Menu ꒰ঌ ໒꒱

🧁 Sweet Treats (Low-Effort)

Light a candle and practice breath work

Make a cute warm drink

Do mobility routine

take a shower

say affirmations

style dream closet mentally

cuddle blanket and/or pet

stand in sun for 3-5 mins

change into favourite cozy outfit

🍱 Comfort Courses (Medium Effort)

journal with dreamy prompts or about something i’m curious about

write a letter to my future self

Walk around the block

Bake something cute and simple

read a book

Reorganize space a bit (clear bed, fluff pillows, wipe mirror)

Watch a comfort show, no snacks, no other screens

have a tea party with plushies

🥘 Soul meals (High Effort)

solo adventure

Deep clean space

write letters to past you, present you and future you

go to a concert

choose a topic that fascinates me and go full research mode

start a new cute slice of life anime/kdrama

work on a hobby (start a scrapbook, upcycling an outfit, etc.)

write or continue writing a post

sign up for a workshop/class that excites you

learn a new skill (writing, language etc)

host a themed night for yourself (cottage core evening, 2000s movie night)

Plan my dream life

But now that we’ve got that out of the way, I have a question for you

What do you want from these apps? ೀ

𖹭.ᐟ Is it validation?

𖹭.ᐟ To feel seen without having to do much?

𖹭.ᐟ A distraction?

𖹭.ᐟ Community and connection?

𖹭.ᐟ Inspiration?

𖹭.ᐟ Entertainment?

𖹭.ᐟ Self-expression?

𖹭.ᐟ FOMO?

Are you actually getting it? Or are you just stuck in the loop, hoping the next scroll will finally give you what the last hundred didn’t?

People say cons of not having social media is not knowing what’s going on “in the outside world” but.. to me that’s a pro because I get to focus on myself and my mind and loa. So nothing else really matters to me since I’m focused on building the life for me starting with myself. Which I really need right now given my mental state. When i deleted tiktok, I feel good about not downloading it. Whenever I need it, I redownload it. Hair content. That’s about it. Then I delete. I dread even redownloading it because I’m kind of impatient. But I also do the same for tumblr. If I need a little pick me up, a sweet post and I know I have no one around give it to me and I really need to hear it from someone else, I redownload. I use it on my pc mainly now and I don’t find scrolling on my pc interesting enough to do it all the time.

So let’s get to the more philosophical, harsher side.

₊˚ 🦢・₊✧ Modern life encourages consumption, rather than understanding and contemplation - challenge yourself, learn about something that honestly doesn’t seem that big of a deal, like learning random facts about random things. Remember libraries and book shops exist.

₊˚ 🦢・₊✧ One thing about social media it will give you unsolicited advice and opinions, it will try to make you feel like you have to listen and believe what is being shown to you. It could cause you to stray from your own beliefs if you aren’t strong in them. People’s opinions being thrown at you left and right when you aren’t even comfortable and strong in yourself is… jarring. “You shouldn’t do this bc..” but what if I want to? And why are people mad that I want to? Or don’t want to? Realizing I don’t wanna hear anyone’s opinions before I was grounded in mine was a big reason for my detox and regulation.

₊˚ 🦢・₊✧ You pick up a lot of stuff you consume online unconsciously. For instance, I watched a lot of American and Canadian tv growing up.. now I react to certain situations in certain ways (just like a lot of the characters I saw on TV) and I literally didn't notice until like a few days ago. That's the result of repeatedly consuming the same kind of content. So guess what- the thing people call ‘brain rot’… is actually rotting your brain. Surprise, surprise.

₊˚ 🦢・₊✧ Social media constantly exposes you to other people’s timelines, and it quietly convinces you that you’re behind in life. But most people are only sharing fragments- the polished, curated parts. And when we forget that, it’s easy to start holding ourselves to unrealistic standards or feeling like we’re not doing enough. You are not late. You are not less. You are unfolding, slowly and softly, in your own time. And there’s something quietly magical about that.

₊˚ 🦢・₊✧ And on that note… influencers really do be scamming sometimes. Like, a lot of it is just the same old stuff, just prettier now. They take outdated ideas and wrap them in pink ribbons and call it healing or empowerment. Suddenly, being “feminine” means looking a certain way, acting soft and quiet, never taking up too much space, and spending money just to seem effortlessly perfect. But don't get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with liking pink, or soft things, or wanting to feel pretty. But when femininity becomes a performance—when it’s reduced to a list of aesthetics you have to buy into to be “the ideal woman,” that’s not empowerment. That’s marketing. They just dressed it up and made you feel like you chose it. But it’s still about control. About shrinking yourself into something small, sweet, and palatable. It’s not just influencers because some of them genuinely believe in this and don’t realize what they’re doing. In the end it just leads back to men trying to be in control... Ew. You might not even realize how much of what you like or think you like is just what society has convinced you need to like to be worthy of love or attention. This is not to say you can’t enjoy this stuff because I most definitely still do. But do so mindfully. This is also not to say that life can’t be aesthetic and pretty because it can and anybody that says not is just.. boring I guess. Just be mindful.

So I’m detoxing. To control the identity I’m building for myself and making sure it’s something I like, something I’m doing for me rather than for the algorithm. This is not to say that social media- or rather, how we use it- is to blame for everything. Because it’s not. People around you can genuinely suck. You have to pull away from that. The point is, if it’s not benefiting you, it’s depriving you.

Log out. Go outside. Touch the real world. You deserve to feel real again. -`♡´-🧁

follow @urdreamgirlangel 444 more

inspired by:

⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆ michi goodbye TikTok, hello living

⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆ xiao's you don't have to be that girl

⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆ denee you'd be hotter if you logged out

[iheartmira]

hiiii, i have a little request

yn being on her period and shadow milk giving her chocolate and hugs~

bonus points if he puts on a show to cheer her up

I know its not much but i need this, if you dont have time its alright, i really like your writings

take care <3

"ridiculously brilliant" - shadow milk x reader

‪‪✧︎‬‪‪ ‪‪✧︎‬ ‪‪✧

you were curled up on your couch, blanket cocooned around you like armor, stomach twisting with cramps and general misery. the world outside your room could have ended, and you wouldn’t have moved. not today.

it was one of those days. when everything ached, your emotions were a mess, and the craving for chocolate bordered on primal. you hadn’t even noticed the shadows thickening in the corner.

"now, this simply won't do," came a familiar voice, lilting and theatrical, like a velvet curtain parting.

you lifted your head weakly. "shadow milk…?"

he emerged from the shadows with his usual flourish, all mismatched eyes and wickedly curved grin. but there was something softer in his expression when he looked at you. less mischief, more mischief-laced concern.

"my doll, my muse," he crooned, placing a hand dramatically over his heart. "what tragedy has struck to reduce you to a heap of blankets?"

you gave him a flat look. "period cramps."

there was a beat of silence. then, very gently, he said, "ah."

he vanished with a theatrical swirl of his cloak-like coattails, only to reappear moments later in a puff of mist, arms full of chocolate bars, truffles, cookies, and a steaming mug of something rich and sweet.

"i've consulted the ancient scrolls of comfort," he announced, presenting the offerings as if they were rare relics.

"behold! the sacred cocoa and the divine tablets of sugar and bean!"

you laughed, just a little, and that seemed to be exactly what he wanted.

he grinned, and this time it wasn’t twisted or teasing. just… warm.

"i've been told," he said, sitting beside you and piling the chocolate onto your lap, "that sweetness helps mortals endure this affliction. so-!"

he threw an arm around your shoulders with a flamboyant flair. "prepare yourself for the most extravagant comfort show earthbread has ever seen!"

you didn’t resist as he pulled you closer, wrapping his arm snugly around you. his body was cool to the touch, but the longer he held you, the warmer he felt, like he was adjusting for you.

"now, for my next trick," he declared, eyes gleaming with barely-contained glee, "i shall perform the world's first and only one-cookie musical… about cramps."

you blinked. "what?"

but it was too late.

the room dimmed.

with a flick of his wrist, the shadows on the walls sprang to life: cartoonish little figures prancing and groaning dramatically, complete with operatic wailing, and what appeared to be a tiny version of you dramatically swooning onto a bed of chocolate.

"and lo!" he narrated in an overly grand tone, "our noble one is besieged by a curse, doomed to writhe upon the couch for seven sunsets!"

you giggled through the cramping, burying your face in his shoulder. "you're ridiculous."

"i'm brilliant," he corrected with a wink. "ridiculously brilliant."

as the show continued, his fingers gently stroked your back, occasionally pausing to hand you another piece of chocolate or sip of cocoa. he made no move to leave, even when the lights of his shadow-theater dimmed and his narration gave way to quiet humming.

eventually, the cramps dulled just enough, and your eyes began to droop. you leaned more into him, and to your surprise, he adjusted your blanket for you, tucking it under your chin with a soft, uncharacteristically tender expression.

"feeling better?" he murmured, voice low now. sincere.

you nodded. "thanks to you."

he smirked, but it was gentle. "good. i may be the master of deceit, but i'll have you know… my affection is very real."

‪‪✧︎‬‪‪ ‪‪✧︎‬ ‪‪✧

‹���� ‎ ⠀⠀ˑ˚₊ ·⠀interested in requesting? check out my pinned!

© 2025, iheartmira

[sol-consort]

I think I need to find a way to stop being gay it's too hard 😞. Because I'm always falling for the most obscure fem characters that have almost no fanfiction written about them/hardly any fandom. 1st, it's Ashley who's really hard to find the gay fandom for (you're a dimond in the rough fr) and there's only a handful of fanfiction for and then today I've just seen that deadpool wolverine movie and I'm thinking 'obviously there's gonna be a lot of fanfiction for this sexy evil bald lesbian like this is a major motion picture' only to be met with reality fist straight to the face when I tried looking up fanfiction and there was none zero. I think I'm freaking too close to the sun.

(Srry for venting, but I fear we share the struggle of what is essentially being in a half dead fandom)

I feel you, it's so jarring how little attention gay women characters get in fandom spaces. Unless the source media itself is explicity sapphic, then finding any fanfics about lesbian characters is akin to panning for gold at the edge of the river.

The "older" a fandom is, the more obvious this phenomenal becomes. Mass Effect, for example...I mean let's just call it what it is. Blatant misogyny. Why doesn't Vetra get the same treatment as Garrus? Why isn't Miranda celebrated for her genius as much as Mordin is? Why does EDI get reduced to hot sexy robot while Legion gets the cool badass design? Why does Ashley get so much shit about her ME1 alien racist remarks when even Kaidan, Jacob, and Joker had some racist lines? Renegade Shepard is the epitome of human supremacy yet here we are.

It's still prevalent in new big fandoms. In BG3, for example, I wrote so much for Minthara, my longest and most intricate fic ever was made for her. Yet my stories that got to most attention and requests for updates are about male characters. One of them is a literal npc with no relevance for the plot.

I was happy finding out that Kaidan actually has presence in fanfics, but when I scrolled through Ashley's AO3 tag expecting something similar, I was so fucking stunned to find nothing. It's why I even wrote that Ashley fic, I was so frustrated at the lack of content for her. It started this blog.

Much like my frustration at the lack of content for Minthara started my other blog.

I wish women characters get the same treatment in fanfics written about them as men. By that, I mean they deserve shameless smut. They deserve casual sex. They deserve silly fics, parodies, and memes made about them. They deserve dating HC and having flaws that they don't feel guilty for.

Allow them the exact same courtesy extended to the token hot male characters of a fandom. Why doom the yuri constantly? Let it breathe for a second. Give it the space to be any genre it wants.

[the-wip-project]

Bad Brain Days

Today I’m having a bad brain day.

It’s not that my brain is misbehaving. It’s just having a rough time functioning.

You might call it something else, and it has numerous causes, a bad night’s sleep, a flare up of a chronic health condition, medication issues, a short term illness, or simply being overwhelmed with responsibilities.

Whatever the cause, we all have days when our brain doesn’t want to do what it’s supposed to, ie: think.

Which is bad for life in general, and particularly bad for the thinky work of writing.

So what does a committed writer do when faced with a bad brain day?

The first and simplest thing is yield. If your body is telling you to rest, it’s a good idea to heed it.

I don’t advocate for pushing yourself to write every single day. (unless streaks really work well for you, in that case streak on!) It’s especially important if your bad brain days are often caused by feeling overwhelmed.

No doubt you have things you must get done: work, classes, child or elder care, household responsibilities. Things you can’t skip just because you’re not feeling up to it. So do yourself a favor and skip the non-vital tasks, like writing. Just for today.

But perhaps that writing habit thing is starting to catch hold and you’re looking forward to your writing session as something you do for yourself, but sadly your brain just won’t go in the words and ideas direction. What then?

The best thing is to make a list of what you can do. If you have low brain usefulness days frequently, on a good day try coming up with a list of things you can do on slow brain days.

Here’s some ideas to get you started.

1. Read. Skip the social media doom scroll, turn off your devices, and read something on paper. It could be an old favorite that feels comforting, it could be something new and exciting, but either way, focus on what makes the book or story good. We hear a lot about reading critically, and finding fault seems to dominate that. But try reading to admire. Pay attention to what you enjoy, what makes you smile, what makes you feel immersed. Read with the intention of enjoyment.

2. Do something story adjacent. If you like posting about your WIP on socials, find a few good pull quotes and queue them up. Or create a synopsis or pitch to keep on file for whenever someone asks what you’re writing. If you like making visual stuff like mood boards, make one for a scene or character.

3. Feeling up to diving into the work itself? How about updating your outline? Read over what you have written and add whatever changes you’ve made to the outline. It doesn’t have to be complex. Just try making one sentence summaries of each scene. You can do this if you didn’t have an outline to begin with too.

4. Talk to a friend about your writing. Writers need social interaction and if your writing has been consuming a lot of your spare time, just connecting with a friend might be what you need. (and don’t make it all about your writing! Be a good friend!)

5. Make starting tomorrow easier. Do non writing stuff that smooths the way, like tidying up the formatting or layout, creating blank chapters or scenes, or even sketching out a scene without making an attempt to fill in all the blanks.

Finally, don’t make any major decisions about your WIP on a bad brain day. You might do something your regret. Instead make notes on any major cuts or changes that feel needed, and look at them again on a day when you feel good.

And don’t make your writing another burden that makes everything too hard to carry. Tomorrow, when your head is (hopefully) clearer, take the time to assess if your writing is too much. To consider if the goals you’ve set yourself are workable with your current life situation. There’s no shame in dialing things back. If writing 250 words a day is too much, consider reducing it to 200. Or adding in more days off. Or considering a lower pressure project. Writing short fiction instead of tackling The Novel.

Most of all, remember that a solid writing practice is first of all a healthy one. So take care of yourself.

—Maree

Subscribe to my substack to make sure you don't miss a post, chat with me on the WIP Project discord, and tag any posts you make about the challenge with #slomowrino if you want me to see them!

[trashyvanillabean]

🧃

Personal opinion and a very long ramble under the cut (mostly about the characters and the Tribal Chronicles) now that Natlan’s Archon Quests have finished up.

Say what you will about the classic “power of friendship” plot tool, but I personally love watching people working together. Not every story has to be all doom and gloom. (Plus, we had permanent death from the Abyss invasion in The Rainbow Destined to Burn, which was referenced by the memorial at the end recording the number of deaths before Mavuika activated the Incandescent Ode of Resurrection! What more do you guys want!?)

That being said: not gonna lie, I really wish some of the “Big Six” (Mualani, Kinich, Xilonen, etcetera) had their own story quests outside of the Tribal Chronicles before Act 5. In fact, the developers should have waited until all areas for all six tribes and their Tribal Chronicles were released before Act 4. Like, no need to have all parts of each of them (I know some of them are locked until you finish the Archon Quest) but at least let players visit all areas of the six tribes and build some camaraderie before springing the invasion on us.

Especially for someone like Kinich (for those who have read his character stories). The most interactions we got between him and the Traveler were of helping the Scions of the Canopy. We didn’t get much depth (for lack of better words) into his character or bonding to warrant his saying at the end of the Tribal Chronicle “For you, anything” in exchange for the Traveler and Paimon’s friendship. The development there definitely feels too fast. 😅

On that note, I know Mavuika’s busy with being an Archon and more pressing issues and she might have reincarnated into a different tribe; but her past life was among the Scions of the Canopy, and she didn’t want to help with the issue of the Mountain King/Kongamato’s rampage? She wasn’t even present for the Turnfire Night! 😭 It would have been real nice to at least have her physically there as some kind of acknowledgement, or even as a security net to reduce the danger.

Same with Xilonen. Much of what we get for her is from Tlazolli about Xilonen’s childhood, and even that is overridden with the urgency of Tlazolli trying to use Nepecha to bring back Nechca. The quest doesn’t go much into depth about the Name-Engraving costing the crafts(wo)man their lifespan, and we don’t even see any of its effects on either Xilonen or Tlazolli. With Xilonen forging the Traveler’s Ancient Name, we should have at least gotten a peek at the process and the toll it takes.

We also got a small look into Citlali’s private life as a very long-lived shamaness and the effects it had on her social life among the Masters of the Night-Wind, such as the elders living in fear of her and Tlapo assigning scroll-weaving to certain people able to see that special “color” so Citlali could have a friend (along with the hilarity that comes with mind-reading issue). However—

I’m surprised Ororon wasn’t one of the main characters for the Masters of the Night-Wind’s Tribal Chronicles! And that really is a shame because what tiny bits we get for Ororon is through a limited-time event (Iktomi Spiritseeking Scrolls, which I missed and therefore haven’t gotten to play because of irl things, so I have to watch videos of it ☠️) and his constitution of having a fractured soul was only referenced once! Once, and never again. Not to mention, that whole fiasco was thanks to Enjou/Sanka. (That event also had quite a bit of lore on the Masters of the Night-Wind, such as Border Masters; and a little bit of Mare Jivari, which was mentioned since all the way back in Mondstadt, and we don’t even know why he was searching for that place!)

We don’t get to see much of the aftermath of the ritual meant to sacrifice Ororon. Do the Mictlan locals walk on eggshells around him after the failed ritual? And what about (one of) the priests consulting Citlali for her opinion on the matter beforehand? If I recall, even if she did nothing, she didn’t give her approval at all. Surely at least one person would have taken that as a negative and tried to tell the others that Citlali’s lack of approval meant the ritual was a terrible idea, but we don’t even see that! Additionally, we still don’t know why Citlali has such a long lifespan. This would have been the perfect opportunity to provide some lore crumbs.

Instead, the quest involves a fraud from Fontaine trying to destroy a remnant of Mictlan’s history (I hope his bank account gets tanked for real before he deals with Wriothesley in Meropide, and I hope we get a direct reference in-game acknowledging it). It was nice to get a reference from Pantalone (the Regrator, one of the Fatui Harbingers) through the Fatui agents that tagged along, and it definitely serves as a sign that Natlan’s tribes need to make some changes and adjustments before they can deal with visiting foreigners from other nations; but in my honest opinion, Mictlan’s Tribal Chronicles should have involved both Citlali and Ororon and been more focused on them, without any need to involve outsiders meddling in their affairs.

Chasca, at least, had her qucusaur family directly affected and involved with the Flower-Feather Clan’s affairs (thanks to Allpa) and we not only helped save her niece Chime, but also got to see Chasca and Coya mending their relationship (which I think was very much needed for Chasca in the aftermath of Chuychu’s death).

As for the questline for the People of the Springs, I actually don’t think there is much of a problem there thanks to Mualani’s outgoing and ride-or-die personality. I just think it would be nice to explore her identity as a guide more, especially since the theme of bonding with your friends and trusting them is pretty forced here (like, either they would have never reached the island, or someone would have died while they were escaping the rising lava). It doesn’t have to be anything too drastic or action-oriented unlike the others, just something with a more personal touch that looks deeper into Mualani’s character.

And for Iansan…R.I.P. Iansan, we got absolutely nothing for her. 😭 I know it’s because she and her respective tribe haven’t been released yet, but still; and it’s actually because her tribe and the Tribal Chronicles for them haven’t been released yet that I really feel Natlan should have had at least another Act or two, if only so we could have the Collective of Plenty and Iansan’s character more fleshed out before the Traveler’s Ancient Name was forged.

Just… *sighs* There is a lot of depth and potential for relationship dynamics that were not explored enough before Act V, and I can see that this was a matter of so much content (maybe even a little bit more exploration content than either Sumeru and Fontaine) and the developers probably not having enough time to string it all together, and they tried to focus more on the important stuff and cram as much as they could into five Acts.

Well, what’s done is done, not much anyone can do now other than wait for more of the narrative to be updated and released. 🫠

(You know, I have to wonder at this point if all of their best writing efforts go into the world quests. They did a brilliant job with Jeht in Sumeru, and Fontaine had us explore some of the region’s history through the Narzissenkreuz Ordo and Remuria.)

I will say that this is coming from my perspective of playing 5.3 as it released. Before all of that, I wasn’t able to touch much of Natlan (I only got most of the main quests done in 5.0, and ended up snoozing through 5.1 and 5.2 due to irl things; but once I had the chance, I caught up on the Tribal Chronicles for the People of the Springs and the Scions of the Canopy. However, for the Children of Echoes and the Flower-Feather Clan, the last third parts for each were locked until I completed Act 4. It reminded me a lot of certain questlines being locked until prerequisite quests were completed.

It makes me hopeful for newcomers and old players returning that all six tribes will have their Tribal Chronicles released, with at least the first part (and maybe the second part) being accessible before locking the rest behind Act 4 and/or other prerequisite quests. I just wish they didn’t throw primogems into the mix as rewards for completing the Archon Quests within a set timeframe. 💀

All that aside, it was nice to see certain world quest NPCs like Bona, Coco and our little Tepetlisaur buddy before throwing hands with the new weekly boss. 🥲

[pretendcottagelady]

Weekly Dashboard

Now this is a different layout after seeing nothing about weekly logs for almost a year. Why is this different and why have I reduced an already small weekly log to something even smaller?

For starters, I am starting a Daily Log journal to take with me wherever I go. This means for what I do on a daily basis, I have a lot more room to write, so I don't need to be as exacting.

The tiny weekly log is only for items that have to be done on that particular day, full stop. This includes appointments, and other obligations... or due dates.

The to-do list are things I want to do that week but it doesn't really matter what day I do them.

The When Idle list is a list of things I probably could do instead of doom scrolling (which is a terrible habit of mine). By the way, this list isn't for 'productive' things. Instead they are for things I want to do. Like stories I want to read, games i want to play and things I want to watch.

As for the Played, Watched, Read and Listened list, this is to remind myself I do, do things. More often than not, I will consume other media than the media I had originally intended on my list, and that is fine. This is also a quicker list to look at for when I do monthly highlights.

There's also a lot of room on this page that has decoration, and the reason for that instead of making larger boxes is that I am going to paste any Sudoku puzzles I finish into these pages as well at some point.

[sciencestyled]

How Ragnar Lodbrok Learned We Almost Got Yeeted by Nature and Decided to Educate You All

It all began one fine morning as I stood atop my longship, pondering the most pressing issue of our time: why the mead always runs out before the storytelling gets good. Life, I thought, was a peculiar little game of survival, and we Vikings played it with gusto—pillaging, raiding, and occasionally arguing over who got to name the livestock.

But then something strange happened. A peculiar visitor arrived at my encampment, claiming to be a "scientist." He looked harmless enough, with his parchment and quills and strange inability to wield an axe. He told me of a "genetic bottleneck" and how humanity had once been reduced to a mere smattering of individuals, teetering on the edge of oblivion like a warrior with too much ale on a narrow plank.

"Ragnar," he said, "you must understand—900,000 years ago, humans almost went extinct. It’s a miracle we’re here today."

I raised an eyebrow. "Are you saying my ancestors were almost bested by a mere act of nature? Was it a frost giant? A colossal sea serpent? Speak plainly, man!"

"No," he replied, adjusting his spectacles. "It was likely climate change, environmental shifts, and a whole lot of bad luck."

Bad luck. The words echoed in my mind like the hollow clang of a missed sword swing. The notion that my lineage had nearly been wiped out by something as intangible as bad fortune offended me deeply. If anyone was going to obliterate my bloodline, it would be me—and only after some spectacularly bad decisions involving rival kings and possibly fire-breathing dragons.

Curious—and, let’s face it, slightly insulted—I pressed him further. He unfurled a map of ancient migration routes and genetic studies, explaining how humans had been reduced to a population of a few thousand individuals, huddling together like frightened sheep in some prehistoric apocalypse. It was as if my ancestors had been on the brink of leaving the saga unfinished, and I, Ragnar Lodbrok, had inherited the tail end of a nearly doomed story.

It was then that I realized this was no ordinary tale of survival. It was a saga of cosmic proportions, a reminder that even the mightiest of species could be laid low by forces beyond their control. And yet, here we are, strutting about like we own the world, arguing over whose TikTok video has the most likes. It’s both humbling and, frankly, hilarious.

But what really struck me—and I mean struck, like a well-aimed mace—was the eerie resemblance between ancient humanity's plight and our own foolishness today. Here we are, merrily burning through resources, ignoring the omens of environmental collapse, and squabbling over shiny trinkets. It’s as if history is a massive wheel, spinning us toward the same mistakes, over and over again.

Fueled by a newfound sense of responsibility (and possibly a little too much mead), I decided that this story needed to be told—not with swords and shields, but with the magic of "videos" the scientist spoke of. These enchanted scrolls of moving pictures could reach more people than all my raids combined, and without anyone having to clean up after.

So, I sat down, dictated my thoughts (in between wolfing down roast boar), and called upon the scientist to create the video you are about to see. Consider it a saga for the modern age, a reminder of how close we came to the abyss and a warning not to waltz blindly into it again.

Watch, learn, and for Odin’s sake, recycle something. The ancestors didn’t claw their way out of extinction just so we could doom ourselves with plastic straws and Twitter arguments.

[m39]

Doom WADs’ Roulette (2009): Demons of Problematique 2

G9: Demons of Problematique 2

Main author(s): Dennis Meuwissen (Exl)

Release date: September 20th, 2009

Version(s) played: Revision 2 (I guess)

Required port compatibility: GZDoom

Levels: 5 (four normal maps and the difficulty selection map)

And so, today, we are tackling another sequel to the WAD from 2007. This time, it’s Problems of Problematique 2.

From what I can remember about the first DoP, it was a rather good WAD that didn’t go too far with ZDoom features; it was kind of like the original Cheogsh (at least until the sequel went too fudging far with that -_-). Let’s hope this WAD didn’t make the same mistakes as its… Russian brother did.

DoP 2 looks at least as good as DoP 1 (which was good). Any traces of techbase from the previous installment have been reduced to nothing, but hey! Look at those damn LIGHT RAYS!

Also, It Ends looks sick (at least the beginning where you are walking to the arena).

Like the previous installment, aside from ambient stuff in the background, DoP 2 has two music tracks that, in the case of this WAD, function as the boss tracks (plus two others that I won’t be focusing on). My bias towards MIDIs will show up again, but I don’t feel like this music fits. I’m sure these music pieces sound good, but here, I felt like these were too generic.

I don’t think this WAD is complicated. It’s more or less like the first DoP; there aren’t moments where you get stuck for a longer period. Not to mention how, like its predecessor, moving from one map to another is smooth.

There are some differences between these WADs. DoP 2 actually has the difficulty selection that references Quake I, to the point of resembling the map from the original name (although with much more red and much less brown); this is not the first WAD that depicts this type of difficulty selection, but it might be the first one to reference the game that inspired these.

Another thing about this WAD is that it uses save scrolls as an autosave system. Wish I could say more but I don’t know what else to say. Same with the map names showing up in an unorthodox way.

There is another interesting moment in Oubliette, where after the boss battle (I’ll get to that later) you get ambushed by demons and end up behind the cell up to 30% health, at least for a while, before an imp with patience issues opens the cell up to kill you himself.

I don’t really have anything severe to complain about Something Dark is Coming aside from the final part with the shooting puzzle, where you are forced to guess the correct switch three times under the time limit. It doesn’t help that, sometimes, all of the switches I wrong (save-scummed to test it), so if you are very unlucky, you will end up melted by lava before even getting the first, right switch.

Changing the subject, DoP 2 won’t be difficult if you played hundreds of WADs at this point (even if it gets cheap moment-wise). The only time that might get hard (for mostly the wrong reasons) is with the boss fights.

And speaking of boss fights, there are two of these. The first one happens in the aforementioned Oubliette, where you fight a super arch-vile that summons dozens of enemies and is invulnerable until you kill all of its minions to get a chance to hurt him.

The second boss fight is against the icon of sin, and, for once in a lifetime, it’s not another icon of shit. You just have to kill four super arch-viles, then siege cow and spider bitch. After doing these, you are given a choice between dying to an armada of fatsos, or just blowing Baphomet’s brain like in the good, old days.

I am not really fond of these bosses. While they are 10 times better than the typical icon of shit, they don’t really have much to offer when it comes to some decent cover, especially against the hitscanners. You have to hope that you end up lucky with RNG.

I’ve found one funny bug in Something Dark is Coming, where the large, red lift that takes you out of the prison section can be lowered infinitely, making it an accidental elevator to the heart of hell.

It might have problems, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t have fun playing Demons of Problematique 2. It might be just another pretty decent WAD on the surface, but after Cheogsh 2, it feels like a masterpiece that didn’t go through the downward spiral of the source port features fever.

As for the next WAD on the list… we have… we have uh… y-you know what, guys? I think I will finish the NDCP II and Happy Time Circus II before taking care of... that one.

…

Oh, God. I can already hear skeletons and Hoovies behind me.

[whatsonmedia]

6 ways you can improve your stress levels “Little by Little”

Last Month (April) was Stress Awareness month, but stress is something that happens all year round for many people. It is important to speak up and talk about it! Stress is all around whether that be at home, work, school or in your personal life. There are many ways you can destress or reduce your stress levels by applying small regular self help practices into your everyday routine. It doesn’t have to be a mammoth change. The little things can really go a long way and that’s why the Stress Management Society UK has been promoting the #littlebylittle campaign to showcase how small positive actions can massively improve your overall wellbeing when it comes to stress levels. Here at What’son we have put together 6 ways that you can practice self care to make your day to day life with all its stresses a little easier… Journaling Image Credits: Good Housekeeping Writing things down can be a really good way to express yourself. A journal is the perfect place for this! You can have a digital journal, make your own one like a scrapbook or purchase one. It is a really positive creative outlet as a journal can become like a creative project to get your teeth into and really take your mind off any stresses of the day however major or minor they may be. 1. Exercise Image Credits: Healthline Moving about can really calm us down when we are stressed and feeling all this pent up energy. Destressing is all about taking your mind off of things and doing something else productive. Exercise is great for this because not only is it good for your physical health with lots of research out there suggesting it can help you become healthier and is good for a balanced lifestyle  it can also boost your serotonin making you happier and less stressed. It is the perfect distraction! 2. Speak out Image credits: Facebook Don’t bottle it all up! Speak up about your stress and how you are feeling. This could take a little bit of the weight off your shoulders speaking to friends, family, an anonymous support websites or a professional. Open conversations around stress and stress management are really important for people of all ages. It is not something that should be taboo or we shy away from as well experience it on a day to day basis. You can reflect on your stress in a variety of different ways whether that be discussing your day around the dinner table asking other friends or family if there is anything you can do to reduce stress for anyone around you. 4. Practice Mindfulness Image Credits: WIRED Mindfulness is a simple thing that doesn’t have to take up lots of time. Simply sitting back and focusing on your breathing, closing your eyes and reflecting on the day for a few minutes every day can really put things into perspective! Mindfulness is all about taking time away to prioritize your own wellness and health. 5. Prioritize sleep Image credits: Medical News Today Doom Scrolling! It is a big danger that happens to the best of us. After a busy day of your mind running a million miles an hour it can be tempting to sit in bed, scroll on TikTok, look at cute cats doing silly dances on Instagram or see what your favorite influencer has been up to with their hundreds of posted stories/updates for you to trail through. Reducing your phone use and prioritizing sleep in the evenings can really help you feel energized and ready to take on the day. You can improve your sleep and therefore your stress levels by removing distractions like phones and doom scrolling by placing your phone away from you when you sleep, so you are not tempted to pick it up. A way to regulate your sleep schedule can simply be by setting an alarm of when you go to bed, going to bed and waking up at the same time every day, so as to create a less stressful routine. If you remove all your work things from your sleeping space this can create routine and help your mind separate your rest and work, so that you don’t get burnt out! 6.Connect with nature Image Credits: Picjumbo Connecting with nature doesn’t have to be a big song and dance! It can simply be sitting outside and taking in your surroundings, gardening, visiting a local park. This can also double up as an opportunity to spend some time alone to reflect on your stress and practice mindfulness. You can also use time in nature to encourage open narrative conversations about stress as nature is calming so this may encourage you to open up more. Keep calm and practice self care to relieve your stress! For more information and support you can contact the Samaritans on 116 123 if you are in the UK. Read the full article

[deadhumourist]

Bravo Juliett

A/N: Since the trailer for The Bubble dropped, we've been reduced to thirsty (gender-neutral) bitches, and there are some good fics out. Dfinitely check out Please by @ezrasbirdie , Extra Whipped Cream by @pettyprocrastination and Stay by @honestly-shite. And like clowns we're all using the same fucking gifs because this character ain't even on screen yet. All three fics are brilliant, please go read and shout at them about how good it is.

This fic definitely borders on a crack fic, he’s not a fully rounded character and the action is smutty and with tongue very firmly in cheek. And other places. It’s satire if you squint. I am both amused and deeply ashamed. If I’m going to horny jail, I’m taking you with me. Not beta’d, mistakes mine.

Rating: 18+, no minors

Pairing: Dieter Bravo x F!Reader (fuck, I know ok. I KNOW)

If you want more ficlets in this universe please come shout at me. This was so much fun to write.

------------------------

You're one person in a long line of interviewers. They're ushering you into the hotel like cattle, but honestly, you would gladly queue for days to meet him. You spent way too many hours engrossed in Dieter's work, rewatching scenes. You can quote most of his iconic lines. You didn't even have to do research prior to this interview. Dieter. Mentally you’re on a first name basis with him. You have lost yourself in his work, and you want him to know that.

The hotel lounge is a large, airy space, the Rococo decor offering glints of gold as it catches the morning sunlight. Most interviewers are sprawled across couches and chairs, with one pacing nervously and reviewing his notes, repeating it back to himself.

You know your shit, so you opt to spend your time doom-scrolling through Tumblr looking for Dieter fics. Commented on two; reblogged one that was particularly hot. What you wouldn’t give for him to go down on you like that, worship your body for hours and call you his sweet girl.

It feels like the day is dragging interminably, when a PR assistant beckons you. You have 10 minutes.

By this time the sun is dipping low on the horizon and it’s many many hours into his media schedule.

You make your way to the veranda and as you sit down, you can see the day wearing on him. Even though he’s incredibly handsome, he looks every inch the middle aged, harried acting veteran tolerating yet another interview by some clueless twit asking irrelevant questions.

He looks bored. Irritated. His eyes screaming “A moment of respite please.” as you smile at him in greeting.

"So Dieter, tell me a bit about your character in Cliff Beasts 6"

He rubs his neck and sighs deeply, mustering the energy from somewhere to give a terribly rote description of the character.

You listen intently, waiting for the right time to drop your bombshell.

"You have an unrivaled command of physicality, seen in so few actors. You manage to convey the entire character's personality without a single line of dialogue, like in Death Games. Will we see more of that in this movie?"

Dieter sits up, attention suddenly focused on you. You can see that you’ve surprised him, and you're silently reveling in that he might start to enjoy this interview. He rolls his tongue in his cheek, like he's contemplating something.

“You did your research.”

His full eyebrows quirk upwards, almost as if impressed.

“ With Death Games, the director, Joel, trusted me to go beyond the page and really create Jackson from the ground up and make him real. This….”

He breaks your gaze to look over the horizon, a hint of a smirk playing on his lips.

…is not that kind of movie."

The PR assistant on the side motions for you to wrap it up, your slot is almost done. As you thank him for his time, he leans over and whispers in his assistant's ear, winking at you. You can't make out what he's saying but you feel a blush creeping up your neck at the brazen gesture. He’s doing this in front of everyone.

You shake his hand. A warm, large palm that almost completely envelops yours. He has a firm grip and for a split second you imagine it wrapped around your throat, as he caresses you with just enough pressure to make your pussy clench and your breath hitch.

As you walk out of the room, his assistant pulls you to the side by your arm."Mr Bravo wants you to wait in the lounge area."

You swallow nervously at the strange request."Uhm, okay…how long?"

"Until he's done with interviews"

You nod slowly, not sure if you understand, but make your way to the plush lounge at the centre of the hotel.

You're deep in the middle of scrolling Instagram when you hear footsteps coming to a stop right in front of you. A pair of loafers come into view across the lush carpet. The rich baritone, which you’re so familiar with, intones flatly.

"Come with me"

Just that. Not hello, not thanks for waiting. You walk behind him, suddenly feeling foolish for staying behind like an obedient girl.

You walk down a hallway, and as you round an alcove, Dieter smoothly turns around and crowds you against the wall.

"So you're a fan huh?"

His eyes greedily take you in, pinning you in a challenge. You nod.

For a moment you’re dumbstruck. You think he wants to lean down and kiss you. His eyes are boring into yours and it just feels like that kind of moment.

He reaches for your jaw with his large hand, gently holding it between thumb and forefinger.

You nod again, this time constrained by the hold. "I..I think you're brilliant. Your work moves me." Your eyes shine with the bold admission.

His eyes drift down to your mouth, lingers there, and you can see the barely disguised hunger in them.

"I want to see those pretty lips around my cock. Show me how much I move you."

He pulls his grey sweatpants down to his thighs, and his almost-hard cock springs free with the motion. He brings your trembling hand to it, placing it palm down.

God, he's thick. You wrap your fingers around the velvet length, slowly pumping it.

Reverently working the foreskin up and down the shaft in long, languorous strokes.

You sink down, and when your knees touch the carpet you look up at him and deftly reach your tongue out to curl around the pink head of his cock. You swirl it experimentally, licking the droplet of precum and humming as you swallow it.

His eyes flutter closed, his mouth dropping open from the warm, wet sensation. You look up at him, enamoured with how good he looks like this. It's straight out of your filthiest fantasies, but before you can drift further his right hand comes up to cup your head and pull it closer to him.

Several inches of his length disappear into your mouth, and you feel the corners of it straining to take the big, insistent cock. You flatten your tongue and start working him over, a slow drag back and forth.

He looks down at you and mumbles through strained breaths. "Tell me….tell me which performance was your favourite."

A strained grunt distorts the next word that slips past his lips.

"Nnnnnd why"

Pulling back with a pop, the heavy cock swings in front of you from the sudden release.

Your hand comes up to cup his ample balls, your middle and ring fingers gently stroking the underside. They’re weighty and a little thrill runs down your spine from how forbidden this feels.

"Dieter no one does what you do, the way you brought Roberto's grief to life in "Colombia Nights" was unlike anything others have done."

His eyes slip closed and he nods, shoving you back onto his hard length.

You love the effect the praise has on him, and you decide to ramp up your onslaught between sloppy slurps of his dick.

"The aching subtlety of your performance in The Green?"

You surge forward and slide him all the back into your mouth, your nose nuzzling the sparse hair at the base of his cock, bobbing your head a few times. You revel in his scent, clean but distinct.

Then you pull back, holding the head of him against your lips as you speak in a low, breathy tone.

"God, you would raise an eyebrow and the whole tone of the scene would change."

He groans loudly, unable to contain himself. His head lolls back onto the wood paneling.

"Fuck, you take me so well. Tell me….fuck …more. I need…..need more."

You bob your head furiously, tears appearing at the corner of your eyes every time the fat tip of his dick hits the back of your throat.

Arousal already pooling in your panties, you hoped you would get a chance to fuck him. You want him so bad. The rough carpet is digging uncomfortably into your knees but you ignore it.

You pull off him a third time.

"You were so fucking amazing as the CIA agent in Born to Kill. God. The writing was terrible but you elevated the whole film."

His cock twitched in your mouth, his head thrown back with his eyes pinched closed. He was breathing heavily, his chest rising and falling rapidly above you.

"Fuck I'm…nggg…close. So close, keep going"

You pumped him with a slick palm as you made a last impassioned plea.

"You should have won an Oscar for that performance"

With that he jerks violently and spurts of cum land hotly on your lips as a low moan escapes his throat above you. You open up for him and lick and suck him down greedily, committing his warm, salty taste to memory.

After a beat, his breathing starts to return to normal and he lifts his head back up and… pats you lightly on the cheek.

"Alright Sweet cheeks. I'll see you around. Cliff Beasts is out April 30th."

He reaches down and pulls the grey sweatpants back up, tucking his softening cock in. In your line of view, still on your knees, you can see a little growing patch of cum staining the light grey material and can't help but feel a bit smug that you did that.

You're not fully on your feet yet when Dieter starts making his way down the corridor, and the last you see of him is the edge of his purple shirt disappearing around the corner.

You touch your fingertips to your swollen, cock-bruised lips.

What on earth just happened?

[himbeaux-on-ice]

Can I just say that Habs “fans” who act like Carey Price’s contract is somehow patient zero of all this team’s problems drive me absolutely fucking insane? Seriously. Buckle up. This is about to be a rant.

Now. First things first. Is it ideal that the $10 million goalie is currently uh, not doing very good? Fucking NO! I am disappointed as shit with that and I don’t like seeing him struggle. I know he can be better. He has to be better. Obviously.

However. That being said.

Do I think it’s an incredibly stupid look to spend several tweets complaining about all the issues Habs defence have been having, and then also griping that they haven’t started Jake Allen enough for how he’s performing, only to then for some inexplicable reason state that the FIRST THING, the first thing that needs to be dealt with after the new coaching staff have had ONE GAME (and zero practices) to work on things, is somehow “well, the ten million dollar man in net is weighing them down, that contract has gotta go!”?

Yes! That’s stupid!!

I think that’s a very ice cold small-brain take, and not just because Price is my favourite of favourites for as long as I’ve been a hockey fan! I have reasons, dammit!! I put THOUGHT into this!!

Here, dear ppl of Habs twitter who will never read this, are some reasons why this narrative you’re concocting is dumb, and why management/coaching are unlikely to think of trying to ditch Price mid-season to fix the current problems:

1: Time. It has been one (1) game under Ducharme. He has been able to run zero (0) full practices on off days with the team. We just changed up a major piece on the Habs chess board — why don’t you give it a minute to see what fresh eyes and minds can do with this roster before you decide we are fucked? This season is fast-moving, sure, but there is time for us to ride out some little bumps here and still make a playoff spot in this Canadian division. Have patience. Do you remember what patience is? Dom is a new head coach, not a wish-granting fairy godmother. Chill. Do you remember chill?

(rest of this under a cut because I actually LIKE Habs Tumblr, and I want to be nice to you all by not making you scroll past all of it if you don’t want to)

2: Jake Allen exists. There are a couple of things I like for what this means for the Habs. Firstly, for basically the first time in his NHL career, we are not in a situation where if Carey Price is in a slump, we have to go “Ah, shit, so now our options are let his stats tank while he tries to get the groove back in net, OR throw whoever the poor backup is out there to get murdered while we plummet through the standings.... 😬” We don’t have that problem right now, because the backup is... actually good? Oh my god, the backup is actually good! Thank fuck! We’re not doomed. If I’m Ducharme, I put Allen in net for a few consecutive starts to put a solid backstop behind all my fun experiments I’m probably planning with the skating roster (to catch their slip-ups, while also giving Carey lots of time and rest with which to work hard on sorting out whatever his issue is along with the goalie coaches).

2b: Jake Allen exists and is competition. Hell, if I’m Ducharme, maybe I even play a little hardball and say “Look, Carey, I don’t want you to be an expensive benchwarmer, but if things don’t pick up soon I am going to start whoever is doing best and you will have to compete for that net.” Related to my last point, when was the last time Carey Price had to push himself to compete for net time against anything other than his own injuries, and wasn’t simply always the default starter? Has that EVER been a thing? Honestly as much as I love the idea of him being The Goalie for the Habs, I also kinda like this idea a lot because I think it could really push him to a higher standard of performance. Maybe that kind of high-pressure situation (given how much he thrives in the pressure-cooker of the playoffs) could be what he NEEDS in order to Be Carey Price again. Worst comes to worst, he doesn’t respond to that challenge, and I am very sad but the Habs have a good goalie in net anyway, because Hallelujah, Jake Allen exists! God, isn’t it nice to have Jake Allen? Bless him.

3: Money. Guys, this league is so broke right now. Seriously. Seriously. Nobody has any fucking money. The Habs probably have more money than most teams, and that does not help when it comes to offloading large contracts. Trades are a NIGHTMARE both because of the flat cap but also because travel is complicated (especially cross-border) but also nobody wants to trade within their division if possible because all your games are against them. Who in the name of fuck do you think is jumping at the idea of taking the $10 million per through 20-lots-and-lots-of-years-from-now contract of a goalie who is currently struggling, impressive past record aside? What kind of astral plane of fantasy hockey are you on to think there’s a trade out there for that within this season. Shut up. And no, don’t bring up the expansion draft, this post is a rebuttal SPECIFICALLY to the people who think that Price and his contract are the biggest problem that needs to be dealt with RIGHT NOW and first on the list of ways to immediately remedy the team’s struggles.

4: Spite. Specifically to piss you off, bud. You personally.

5: Knowing how to troubleshoot properly. Fellas, if my computer is running slowly and freezing up a lot, do I immediately decide the first step to fixing it is to crack open the chassis, remove the hard drive, and try to sell that hard drive to someone to see if I can enough money back to somehow get a better hard drive for less? No, dipshit. That’s not how troubleshooting a complex system works works. It’s the same with hockey teams. Ah, my star goalie is not performing great. This situation is deeply less than ideal. If you’re actually good at troubleshooting, the first thing you do is not “WELL. I GUESS WE’LL HAVE TO THROW THE WHOLE GOALIE OUT. HE’S TOAST.” The first thing you do, if you’re a smart coach, is you say “Okay, what are my defence doing in front of him? What are they doing to reduce the amount and quality of our opponents’ scoring chances? Oh. Oh, they’re taking a lot of penalties, and... oh, uh, some of this is very not great. Yikes.” And then you start your work by trying to make the defence actually work instead of running the same Pairs That Everyone Is Very Much Over And Tired Of, because your goalie is actually supposed to be your Last Line of Defence. And maybe during that time you give more starts to Goalie Who Is Absolutely Slaying It, so that when you start trying new D-pairs and they inevitably have some mistakes, it doesn’t immediately turn into an Oh God Holy Fuck moment every time, because that last line of defence backstopping them is solid. The reason you need to deal with defense first is because a) You know you have a reliable goalie (Allen) in your pocket right now if you need him. What you don’t have is a whole-ass proven and tested and practiced Backup D-Core you can swap into the roster in front of your goalies to make their lives easier. Fix your defense and it WILL improve your goalies, even marginally. Defrag the hard drive before you ask why it’s not working. and b) If you need to go looking for any new D-men to solve the issues, those are WAY easier and cheaper to find than top-tier goalies, and you always want to start any troubleshooting process with trying the simplest solutions first to hopefully save time and money. The better that D-core is, the less it fucks your team over if the goalie isn’t feeling themselves, because the D is going to stop more of those pucks before they ever even become the goalie’s problem. FIX. DEFENCE. FIRST. Then try to train your goalie back into top form. THEN explore your other options.

6: The vicious cycle. Guys. We literally do this once every year or second year. EVERY time Carey Price has a slump, this fanbase gets into a tizzy like the Bell Centre is burning down and he was the one with the matches. And what ALWAYS happens literally within the year, every single time? He gets his mojo back like he did last summer in the bubble and goes on a heater and everybody goes “JESUS PRICE!!!! 🙌” and is ready to name their firstborn kid after him. Until eventually that performance becomes unsustainable, and he becomes mortal again, and suddenly he’s The Real Problem With This Franchise once again. I know he’s the guy they chose to build the team around instead of a superstar forward, but oh my god folks. You’d think he was the only player on the team. Guys, I feel like fucking Sisyphus pushing a blue blanc et rouge boulder up Mont Royal once a year with this shit. This man’s entire career has been a constant seesaw narrative between “Carey Price is our saviour!” and “Carey Price should be exiled to Nome!!!!” from parts of this fanbase, I swear. Look, slumps suck, but for once we are actually lucky enough to be in a position where this team, for the first time in YEARS, does not solelylive or die by the inscrutable magical cycles of Carey Price’s goalie powers — because when he has to step back and work to get back into his groove, there is FINALLY a SECOND GUY who is GREAT. Honestly, given that the state of this team for so long has been “they will go as far as Carey Price can take them” and he has put in a pretty fucking decent job of it despite all of the team’s other struggles, I feel like it is owed it to the guy to be like “Okay, well, we have somebody else solid to fill the net right now, and a chance to really figure out our defence and special teams with this new coach. Why don’t you take a step back and work your ass off at trying to get back into the form I know you can still perform at, and we’ll go from there?”

Anyway. Some parts of this fanbase have been waiting for a fresh excuse to claim Price is overrated, washed-up, and to blame for all of this team’s flaws and ills ever since he signed that contract, if not since the start of his NHL career. Just unreal how nasty some of this fanbase is willing to be about a player who is ON. YOUR. TEAM.

Am I saying he is beyond critique of his play and can do no wrong and his contract is perfect? No! I want this team to have the best goaltending it can get, and I want them to kick ass and take names. The difference is, I still believe Carey Price is a part of that winning formula, and I also think Twitter is overflowing with idiots who just repeat what everybody else says. He’s still a better goalie than your ass would be if I stuck you out there to stop shots from Mark Schieffle, for crap’s sake.

“The first thing that has to go is Carey Price’s contract 🤪”. Shut the fuck up. You are actively making other people stupider by talking. Go eat sand. Good day.

[queensparklekitten]

Been scrolling through @minecraftheadcanons for ages and now i’m thinking about players raised by illagers and, to a lesser extent, the human rights violations committed in trading halls

“Hey Sumi! There you are!” 

At the mention of the name she went by, the player looked up from where she was sitting, at the top floor of the outpost.

 “Hey Argo! What’s up?” 

“So. There’s going to be a raid on a village soon, and you’re coming!” 

Sumi jumped up. “No way. You’re kidding! How did they find the village?” 

“Some of us are tailing a player we ran across recently. They haven’t seen us yet, but they will when they lead us right to a village and we strike!” 

“Oh my god, I’m going to be in a raid! Can I go in as soon as possible?” 

“Of course you can!” 

“Oh yeah, by the way. Got any ideas on when this will be? I want to know if I have time to go mining a little, look for some diamonds. I want a diamond sword for the raid.” 

Argo gestured to the iron sword Sumi had on her, glittering with enchantment. “I’d say with the enchantments you’ve got on that thing, you don’t need a diamond sword.” 

“I suppose. Oh yeah, one more question. Can I blow up the buildings?” 

Argo paused at that one. She knew Sumi had been taught to conquer and be unafraid to kill, but she’d never seen anyone want to set off explosives in a raid before. 

“That could hurt some of us, though... I’ll ask the higher-ups, and if they say no, stick to arson.” 

“Sounds fair.” 

Two days later, the horn resounded. The first wave went ahead, and Sumi geared up. 

“I’ve got food, arrows, armor, some blocks, a little TNT, and my flint and steel. I think I’m ready.” 

The raiders arrived at the village, all holding crossbows and axes high. All except for one raider, different than the others, with long midnight blue hair and a smaller nose than those around her, short red dress concealed by a diamond chestplate and iron helmet, leggings, and boots, all shimmering with enchantment. The helmet in particular had gold accents on it, purely for aesthetic purposes; Sumi had crafted it herself and decided why not. 

The horn sounded and the second wave charged. 

Sumi ran through the village, searching for a completely wooden building to torch, a villager or an iron golem to kill-

“Look, a player! Think she’s here to save us?” 

Sumi turned to where she heard the villager. 

There. In that little house. 

Sumi opened the bright orange door to find two villagers hiding inside, crouched underneath the window. 

“Player! Have you come to fight off the illagers?” 

Sumi took a step closer to them and began to laugh. 

“Now just why would I fight my family?” 

The closest villager had no time to react before Sumi stabbed him twice. Almost as fast, she tore out her sword and turned to face where the other one had been a minute ago. 

Sumi saw them running out the door, and had to laugh at their idiocy. Did they really think it was any safer outside? 

No matter. She had blood to spill. She charged after the villager and swung her sword, managing to land a hit, the enchantments on the sword knocking them forwards and causing them to fall onto the ground. 

“I’ll give you one chance to join us. Take a crossbow and prove that you can use it against the wretched scum of this village, and you can live.” 

“Fuck you.” 

“Your loss.” Sumi finished off the villager and ran through the village to find her next target. 

The first thing she noticed was Loika was on a roof and there was an iron golem staring up at them. 

“Ooh, sniping them from the roof? Good one!” 

“I’ve shot this golem like 6 times and it’s not going down! Is there a ravager here yet?” 

“I don’t see one. They’re probably on their way with one, though.” 

“Great, because this golem’s already taken out two or three of us-” 

Sumi dropped her sword. “Wait, WHAT?” 

“Yeah. It got Blaine and Ori.” 

Sumi didn’t pick up her sword for a minute. More dead. She knew there was a risk, she’d been there when they’d honored illagers who had fallen during raids, she’d had a vindicator tell her about how they’d died in one of the best ways one could die, but to actually be in a raid with casualties on the wrong side... 

“Everyone back up!” 

Sumi pulled out a block of TNT and placed it next to the iron golem. After checking to make sure there was no cats nearby, she lit the TNT and ran. 

The explosion went up behind her, decimating the entire building. Not much of a building, just a small yellow clay house, but the iron golem didn’t make it out in time. 

Loika just stood there, staring at the crater where there was once a house. 

“Whoa.” 

Just then, a horn sounded. 

Argo ran into the village, alongside some others Sumi recognized from the mansion, a witch she didn’t recognize, and an enormous ravager that would certainly have destroyed that iron golem had Sumi not gotten to it first. 

Loika lowered their crossbow. “Well, I’m going to go see the witch, I kind of just had to jump off a roof so I wouldn’t get blown up.” 

While Loika was regenerating, Sumi went looking for another target. 

“Hey Sumi! How’s the raid going!” 

Sumi turned and looked at Argo next to her. 

“It’s going great! I killed two villagers and blew up a house-” 

“And she destroyed the iron golem before the ravager even showed up!” 

“Yes, I also made that monster pay.” 

Argo high-fived her. “Oop! Villagers, 9-o-clock!” 

Sumi turned to where Argo had just pointed them out, running out of a building that had had its door broken down by a vindicator. “I call the one with the black apron!” 

She was about to use her sword, but as the villager ran away over the wooden bridge, she had a better idea. 

A pair of pillagers paused to watch as Sumi set fire to the block on which the villager stood. 

This guy was a mason, huh? How utterly worthless. Well, at least they’d served one purpose in their so-called life: entertaining her as they burned to death, running around in a desperate panic, trying to get rid of the flames, never making it to the water before they died. 

As Sumi continued what had turned into an arson spree, she didn’t even notice that the raiders who had arrived alongside her had left to restock on ammunition or that new raiders had arrived until a witch asked her if she needed a healing potion. 

“Uh, no thanks, I’m good.” 

“You’re... certainly destructive.” 

“It’s a talent of mine.” 

“Well, if you want to keep using that TNT I hear you brought, better hurry, we’ve almost won!” 

At that, Sumi felt a rush of excitement. They’d almost won the raid! 

No more time to talk. After all, what was the use of blowing up a village if none of its residents were alive to witness what they deserved? 

Sumi found another mostly-clay building. She didn’t see any villagers, but the two she’d taken out earlier were hiding under windows, so it wasn’t out of the question they were hiding. 

“Everyone back up, I’m setting off explosives!” 

Sumi placed TNT around the red clay house, before lighting it up. This time, she didn’t look away. Why would she, when she could watch the house and the nearby farm and some gray and orange wood building be reduced to dust? 

As the explosions finished, however, Sumi did regret not standing back further; even if the blast didn’t kill her, she still had smoke in her face- 

“Villager!” 

Sumi looked up. Villager? Where? 

Then she saw it running. White fabric over red, trying to make it to the one completely untouched building in the village, doomed to fail. 

Hers. 

Sumi took off like a baby zombie after the villager, sword in hand. She could see it already, the look in his eyes when he realized he may as well have already died, the celebration afterwards, maybe she could even take any stuff he had on him? 

As she walked up the stairs to the building he’d run into, several other raiders followed. Looks like they’d already gotten rid of all the others. 

“Where are you hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiding!!!” called Sumi in a singsong voice. “Come on out! You can’t hide forever!” 

Movement next to some block she couldn’t tell the purpose of by looking. 

There. 

As she and her family closed in, Sumi took in this villager. Glasses, book looking hat- wait. 

“Guys, wait, don’t kill him yet, I need to see something.” 

“What’s this?” 

Sumi lowered her sword. “Show me what enchanting books you have.” 

“Uh, I can pay you for paper, or I can get you Mending-” 

“Perfect. Guys, don’t kill this one.” 

A vindicator Sumi didn’t remember the name of stepped forwards. “What do you mean, don’t kill this one?” 

“I mean he sells a rare treasure enchantment that can make our stuff unbreakable. We should take him back to the outpost or mansion, keep him in a cage or dungeon, and make him give us Mending books.” 

The vindicator nodded. “Not a bad idea, but how will we make him cooperate?” 

“Oh, don’t worry about that. I have some ideas.” 

Sumi knew zombie villagers could be cured. And if illagers who committed major infractions were turned into ravagers as punishment, a villager who refused to cooperate could be turned into a zombie. Then he’d be brought back, and all she needed to do was make it clear she could easily do this for as long as she needed to until she got cheap enchantment books. As she explained this, she couldn’t help but to make eye contact with her new villager, savor every minute of the terror on his face as she detailed what the rest of his life would be like. 

“A round or two of being turned into the mindless monster he fears so much, in what must be a painful manner, and he’ll be practically giving us enchantments for free. We can use the iron from the golem and the loot chests in the anvil to enchant everything we have.” 

“We had the right idea taking you in.” 

Sumi stepped out of the building as the villager got tied up and took in the destruction she’d caused. 

The center of the village was one giant crater. A few acacia stairs floating in the air were the only indication there had ever been buildings there. Further on, cracked glass panes were the only sign that wooden houses had once stood where there was now nothing but burnt ground. And flames, everywhere in the village, on almost every building she’d gotten near. 

A celebratory cheer came from within the crowd, and soon more mimicked it, some even doing a victory dance. 

Sumi could not help but to dance herself. 

While she was dancing, one of her best friends walked up to her, carrying arrows picked up from the ground. 

“Wow. You were vicious out there. I’ve never seen someone do this level of destruction.” 

“That’s TNT for you! You were great out there by the way, I saw that kill you got!” 

“Thanks! You too!” 

“So, I suppose we’re looting the chests now, huh. Hey, bet you I can find an emerald before you do!” 

“Oh, it’s on.” 

[kingofthenorth49]

Made in China

I don’t know about you, but it sure feels like we are living through the start of World War III.  

Now before you scroll past and think my tin foil hat is on too tight this morning, hear me out. It’s not like this doesn’t make sense or anything, if you connect the dots it would appear that the next global conflict will look much different than the previous two.  

Think about it. China has been posturing for years to become the next world superpower, and if you can see through the medias bullshit you can read the overtures that are being made in the Asia region along with the saber rattling in the Middle East, you can see that it didn’t take long for Biden to unravel almost 50 years of progress towards peace.

War is inevitable and necessary to the state, and if you ever read Sun Tzu “Art of War”, a Chinese war treatise from the 6th dynasty you would understand the supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. He also said that the outcome of war is pre-decided and gave solid advice on the best way to conduct campaigns to conquer foreign powers.

Now before you get your panties in a bunch, I’m not accusing China of deliberately inducing a world-wide pandemic through the use of a genetically modified pathogen after spending years devaluating the US dollar using printed money (not like we have room to talk, but we also haven’t been on a buying spree like the Chinese have in say, Canada for example.), but if I were President Xi Jinping that’s what I’d do. The best war is one where you risk no resources.

Again, not saying the Chinese are attempting to destabilize the United States, not at all. Just saying if I were going to take over the world that’s how I’d do it, from a far, using disinformation and creating confusion and chaos in the streets of my enemy. Not like it hasn’t been done before.  

See many of you see people like me as conspiracy theorists, people who are to be dismissed because we believe in things others’ think are foolish, things that seem farfetched and impossible to be going on in a frame of present reference. I just see myself as a guy who likes history and reads a lot of books that were written before Google came along and dumbed down our nations. Anyone who has ever read a book on the rise of the National Socialist German Workers’ Party in 1920’s Germany would understand completely. If you were to pick up a couple other books on how Hilter rose to power on the back of that party, you’d understand also how quickly people can be manipulated, and how the media and ideology can quickly create a firestorm of hate that makes it easy for societies to crumble. Read even further on how the German army used deceptive tactics to invade Austria and Poland so quickly they didn’t have a chance to prepare.  

That’s not a conspiracy theory, that’s history and we all know those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.  

I guess watering down history is a good thing, right? Taking down statues, changing historical accounts in the name of political correctness, and not encouraging people to critically examine all aspects of history to learn from them helps us become a better society.  

Let me give you the Cole’s notes version of how quickly things can go off the rails when the wrong ideology gains traction in a society where people intend to do evil. Again, not saying our current situation is remotely commensurate with our current situation, but it’s a good example of how quickly things can go from good to evil.

Here we go.

1933 - The Nazi Party takes power in Germany. Adolf Hitler becomes chancellor (or Prime Minister) of Germany. Nazis temporarily suspend civil liberties.

1934 - Hitler combines the positions of chancellor and president to become “Fuhrer” or leader of Germany. Jewish newspapers are no longer allowed to be sold in the streets of Germany.

1935 - The Nazis intensify the persecution of people that do not agree with their political philosophy. Jews are deprived of their citizenship and other basic rights.

1936 – Nazi's boycott Jewish owned businesses. The Olympic Games are held in Germany; Signs barring Jews are removed until the event is over. Jews no longer have the right to vote.

1938 - German troops annexed Austria. On Kristallnacht, the “night of broken glass,” Nazis terrorized Jews throughout Germany and Austria and 30,000 Jews are arrested. Jews must carry ID cards (papers!) and Jewish passports are marked with a “J”. Jews no longer had businesses, attend plays, concerts etc. (maybe they were unvaccinated??)  All Jewish children are move to Jewish schools. Jewish businesses are shut down; They must sell businesses and hand over securities and jewels. Jews must hand over drivers licenses and car registrations. Jews must be in certain places at certain times.

1939- Germany takes over Czechoslovakia and invades Poland. World War Two begins as Britain in France declared war on Germany. Hitler orders that Jews must follow curfews; Jews must turn in radios to the police; Jews must wear yellow stars of David.

Now I’ll stop there.  

Those are all non-debatable historical facts, no subjectivity in my interpretation, just the facts m’am. Look how quickly one ideology took hold in a country ripe for change. At the time of the 1930’s German’s were desperate for change as they had just came out of world war 1 and were suffering from paying reparations for their conduct during that conflict and when Hilter came along he lit a fire under the German people by blaming the Jews for the loss of WW1.  

Five years. Five years from the time a tyrant took power until he was able to start killing 6 million people.

Now if you are one of those types that believe “it can’t happen again” look no further to all the other genocides over the past 100 years, up to and including the Uighur crisis currently going on in China where they have over 1 million Uighur Muslims in concentration camps and they are mass sterilizing these people to the point it’s actually consider a genocide, as it’s reducing the Muslim population in the western provinces of China though declining birthrates. If these women don’t submit to forced intra-uterine devices or monthly pregnancy tests, they are put in prisons.  

Put in prision because they needed to take a test, shot, or device and wouldn’t?  

Say it ain’t so Joe, say it ain’t so.

Folks, some people are evil. Rotten to the core. They have no soul and are in the most desperate need of getting laid of any person on the planet. That’s reality. You can choose to stick you head in the sand and pretend the boogeyman doesn’t exist, but in truth the boogey man will always exist because humans are nasty evil creatures capable of the most horrendous conduct, and if you think ignoring them or passing laws to prevent them from doing things are going to stop them, well you are just stupid. Sorry, I can’t soften that up any because I owe it to you to be blunt in these times.

Now if you’ve made it this far I think you would agree that something is amiss these days, there’s too many conspiracy theories of the past few years that are now seeming to be true, yet no one wants to talk about where the end game is. I’m not sure what it is, but I have some theories, most involved China or George Soros, but the data indicates more towards the former versus the latter.

Trudeau loves China, he’s said so on many occasions to the point of gushing over their communist form of government. His father was a Marxist, and his mother loved communists. Literally. **bow chica bow wow**

Hunter Biden and the Big Guy are in bed with the Chinese in a different way that Margret and Fidel. We’ve seen the emails, the testimony, and the allegations. For them, it’s about money. Last week the Big Guy shut down the investigation that Trump started into the Wuhan lab. That’s now created a firestorm that will likely make 9/11 look like a traffic accident. Coincidence? I think not.

We recently had two Chinese scientists with ties to the Chinese People’s Army kicked out of our highest security epidemiology lab here in Canada after CSIS had concerns they were passing information back to the Wuhan lab (a lab so highly classified Canadian scientists have a hard time getting security clearances to access it), and Trudeau drew the ire of senior Canadian military personnel when he bullied them into allowing the Chinese to hold winter war games at CFB Petawawa. Why is Trudeau so moonstruck with China?

Dot, Dot, Dot.

Once again, I hope I’m wrong. I really, really do, but go back and walk that timeline again and ask yourself if you now understand why Netanyahu hit Hamas as hard as he did.

Never again.

Can you blame him Comrades?

Now as you sit here in North America today, especially in Canada, does it not seem eerily similar to what has happened before in history? Keep in mind that Jews were loaded onto boxcars under the premise to take them to safety from the angry German peoples.  

I really do hope my tinfoil hat is too tight and it’s cutting off the circulation to my frontal lobe, I want the Canada back I grew up in, and the America I fell in love with. I just hope this really is just a bad bug that’s part of a cyclical pattern of virology and this isn’t the start of a global war to reorganize the planet power structure and de-populate the globe.

The dots just tell a different story.

Jim Out.

[kpopshitposter]

Requested by @minsugagal​ | A Christmas Surprise

With his recent success, boyfriend!Hongjoong has been struggling more and more to take you on dates. With Christmas around the corner, you’re feeling disappointed and worried about your future together. 

Reader x Boyfriend!Hongjoong x Wooyoung x San (a tiny bit)

Warning: Hongjoong’s aegyo 

You had your head on his chest, because where else would it be? From here you could listen to Hongjoong’s heart - the very one which has been promised to you. You were scrolling through his phone, looking for inspiration on what to do for Christmas. It was your first holiday of any kind together. So, uh… NO PRESSURE.

“Oh, what about this? It looks really fun!” you’d say.

“Ah… but a lot of people will be there. People might take pictures of us or approach me.” he’d reply.

“Okay… this? You need tickets for it so fewer people will be there.”

“That’s very popular….”

“This?”

“My manager doesn’t let me do things like that.”

“What about-”

“We’re not allowed to-”

“How about-”

“We can’t-”

Sigh. We can’t, we can’t, we can’t.

The nerves and excitement were transitioning into disappointment and dread.

Was this a hint as to how your whole relationship will be? Frustratingly worried about Hongjoong being recognised? About fans invading your privacy and taking pictures of you together? Is your entire relationship going to start and end on this very bed, isolated from the world and new experiences?

The thoughts which were consuming you vanished at the sight of beautiful Christmas decorations. It was a grand tree outdoors, surrounded by sparkling fairy lights wrapped around lamp posts and benches. There were even angel-like figures in the sky, glittering like stars watching over everyone who walked by. This was an event - one with fireworks and sparklers and delicious food. The figures all changed colours and there was a fountain music event. It seemed fun and beautiful and romantic!

You squealed a little and zoomed in on the picture.

“It’s so pretty! Look - the lights and the water move in time with the music!”

“You like the Christmas lights?”

“Yeah! it’s kind of always been a dream of mine to go to something like this. Don’t you think Christmas lights are really romantic? It would be such a cute date.”

“Ah, really…” Hongjoong holds you a little closer. “But… something like this…”

Yeah. You know. Something like this is in public.

“It’s fine, Hongjoong, just…” you rubbed your face and sat up. You tried to not let his broken expression get to you. “I’m gonna go home.” you start to shuffle off the bed but he instantly reacts. He sits up and wraps arms around your waist, pulling you back down onto the bed with him.

Your boyfriend rolls you over onto your back and straddles your waist. He whines, cutely ditching his phone and lacing your fingers together.

“NoooooOOOooOOOoo.” he whines your name and pins your hands up by your head. You start to laugh as he wiggles his shoulders as if throwing a little temper tantrum. “Don’t leaaaaave!”

“Hey! Let me go!”

“I don’t want tooooOOooOO.”

“Stop acting like a baby!” but you can’t keep the laughter back as he starts to pout.

“But I’m your baby!” he releases you only to start a little aegyo routine. He’s trying to cheer you up and convince you to stay.

“You’re a grown man!” you joke, trying to struggle free but Hongjoong holds on tighter (and honestly you’re enjoying the view from down here quite a bit…).

“My darlingggg.” Ignoring you, he starts to kiss all over your face, small, brief, little pecks. They were enough to make you feel momentarily better. You knew Hongjoong didn’t do this on purpose, you knew he didn’t want to stop you from being able to make memories with him. He loves you. It’s obvious.

 But that changed nothing.

Your friends were all posting pictures of the cute Christmas dates they were going on with their partners. Boat rides, fireworks, light shows, kissing under mistletoe… the more you see the more isolated you feel. You knew you were lucky to have Hongjoong, someone who has always given you his whole heart and held nothing back, but you couldn’t help feeling a little upset by the restrictions. 

You also couldn’t help but imagine how this will impact the rest of your lives together.

Will you ever be able to get married under the public eye? Will you really never be able to do... anything? It was making you question whether or not this was really a relationship you wanted to be in. What if you were just setting yourself up for pain…?

You were trying to clear your throat and wipe away your tears as you answered the video call request, but Hongjoong wasn’t fooled.

He softly said your name, full of caution and concern.

“Yeah?” you sniffled.

“What’s wrong?”

I’m just worried we’re doomed. I’m scared if I tell you this, it will be the start of a conversation I don’t want to have. I’m terrified of losing you. “Nothing. I’m okay, just getting a cold I guess. What are you up to?”

Hongjoong wasn’t convinced but didn’t want to pressure you into telling him… but this went on for days. You were lost in your imagination, paranoid about whether or not you’re only doing this for sorrow.

As he held your hand and kissed your cheek you wondered if you should pull away. As he nuzzled your neck you wondered if you should twitch. As he slid his hands into your sleeves, pretending he needs you to warm up his hot palms (probably sweating from carrying the weight of the relationship) you wondered if you should recoil.

One day, it wasn’t just a problem you had in your thoughts anymore.

You had been waiting for Hongjoong in his bedroom and so when there was a knock you expected it to be him. Instead, a timid Wooyoung could be heard calling your name from the other side of the door.

Oh.

You stood and opened the door letting him in with a smile. 

“Hey, Wooyoung.”

He lowered his head politely to you in a little greeting, allowing the door to close behind him.

“... Is everything okay?” he nodded to your question but something definitely seemed off.

“Can we talk?” 

Oh… yikes. “Yeah, sure. I was waiting for Hongjoong, he’ll be here soon.”

“Ahh. I just want to talk to you.”

Okay… this is getting awkward. You move to sit on the bed and pat the mattress beside you. Come on. Whatever you have to say, just say it. I’m ready for any extra aching you’re about to leave me with.

“Read this.” Wooyoung passed you his phone, open on a conversation between him and Hongjoong.

You read each message twenty times, but Wooyoung sits there patiently waiting for you.

“He’s worried about you.” he says when you finally look up and hold the phone out.

You’re silent.

“He said he’s scared to lose you.” You know. You read the same conversation. “He… loves you.”

“I know he does… I love him too.”

Wooyoung places a hand on shoulder, giving it a little squeeze before running his fingers down your arm. He was trying to comfort you, and that made you want to cry.

“Do you want to talk about what’s wrong? If you can’t talk to him I can try to help.” 

His concerned stare, the way Hongjoong had seemed so upset in the texts, the other’s kind hand on you, Wooyoung always helping whoever he can as much as he can…

It reduced you to tears.

You can hear a little worried gasp fall from his lips as he pulled you in for a hug. He simply held you. It was exactly what you needed.

“Wooyoung, I’m so scared!”

He rubbed your back, allowing you to speak and melt over his clothing.

“We can never do anything together. We can’t go to the cinema or go for dinner or do anything!”

“So you don’t enjoy your time with him?”

Rubbing your face, you pull away. “No, it isn’t that…”

“You’re not satisfied?”

“It isn’t that… it’s more like I’m scared this is all we’ll ever have. We’re going to miss out on the whole world.”

“Hm. When did you start to think like this?”

“I don’t know. I guess when everyone started posting their pictures together. We can’t even do that.”

Wooyoung is quiet for a moment before he tilts his head, “Do you think your friends are as happy as you are with Hongjoong?”

That immediately made you scoff. “No way. They argue SO much. They’ve even cheated on each other.”

He smiled as if you proved his point. “Then you’re worried about something that hasn’t happened yet to be more like bad relationships?”

Wait… what?

When you didn’t say anything, he continued, “If you’re happy now why would you want to be more like unhappy couples now? You don’t have to do what everyone else is doing. You will make your own memories in your own way.”

You stared at him and then squinted. “Oh my- when did you get so wise, huh?? What have you been watching?” you teasingly hit his arm, making him laugh and nudge you.

“I’ve always been wise! You just never deserved to see!”

“I deserve it now, though?”

“Desperate times.”

You rolled your eyes, rubbing your cheeks once again. “So what do you think I should do?”

“I think you should talk to Hongjoong.” he patted your head and laughed as you pushed at his side.

“You’re banned from talking to me. I’m gonna block you everywhere!”

“It’s okay. Destiny will bring us together somehow.”

You laughed more, grabbing a pillow to whack him with.

In the next few days, you try your best to keep remembering to enjoy the moments you get. Perhaps you’re a little clingier than usual, but Hongjoong seems to like it after how distant you’ve been. However, while it certainly cheered you up and helped you put things into perspective, it didn’t completely wash away the nerves.

Especially since Wooyoung isn’t the only one to hit you with “Can we talk?”

This time it was a text from Hongjoong, which is never good. Normally, Hongjoong video calls you, even if it’s just for five seconds. He’ll always pick seeing you over not seeing you, so it worries you when he acts out of the norm.

He tells you to meet him in the practice room after a rehearsal, so it must be something so important he can’t wait 5 minutes to find somewhere else…

Whatever.

Whatever is about to come, you’ll just have to hope you’re strong enough to take it. You’ll just pretend like the fact that it’s Christmas should give you a free pass from bad news.

You arrive at the practice room and it’s pitch black - not a person in sight.

Wrong room…? You double-check Hongjoong’s message. Huh. It’s definitely right… and now it’s starting to rain.

You try the door. It’s open. You scurry inside, using your phone as a torch you feel around for the light switch, but before you could complete your task the room is suddenly flooded with sparkling white lights. You freeze, amazed.

The beautiful white stars are soon joined by red and green. The lights all come together to reveal that the practice room had been coated with fairy lights of different kinds. Still, blinking, and colour-switching. They winked at you in an inviting dance.

You feel yourself moving forward through the lights, noticing that as you move closer to the center they align with the wall mirror to form a large butterfly. You start to smile at the beautiful sight. It was all so peaceful. 

A slow melody had you turning your head towards the sound. You saw Honjoong stepping closer to you, a shy smile on his face as he swayed a little to the romantic Christmas music. 

He intertwines your fingers together and they slotted in perfectly.

There’s a cheeky glimmer in his eyes as he pulls you in. He doesn’t say a word. He simply holds mistletoe above your head and brings your lips to his.

“What is this, Hongjoong?” you whisper against his mouth the moment you have the chance to breathe again.

“I can’t take you to all of these places… but I can make right here a place you want to be.”

Your smile is strained from the effort to hold back your tears. Enough crying for one year. “Anywhere where you are is where I want to be.”

He squealed and poked your cheek. “Cute.”

“Did you do all of this by yourself?” you asked after giggling and swatting at his hand.

“No… San and Wooyoung helped me.”

“Where are they?”

Still holding your hand, Hongjoong stepped aside and gestured to where he had emerged from in the sound room.

San saluted you and Wooyoung came out waddling and cheering, clapping with joy.

You suddenly become shy (because… uh… did they see the kiss???) and turn your face into Hongjoong’s chest. 

Just as well that you looked away, the movement allowed you to not see the flicker of jealousy across San’s face.

But that’s a story for another time.

[bookofjin]

Before the War of Eight Kings, Part 1

Just posting this to get it out of the way, I didn’t even manage to get to the death of Emperor Wu. Opinions are my own. I make no excuses.

King vs. Prince

The earliest Chinese rulers were called wang 王, as a hereditary ruler of an independent state, the most obvious translation of  王 is “King”. Later on, at the end of the Warring States era, the 王 of Qin conquered all the other Chinese kings, and invented a new title for himself, huang-di皇帝, which is usually translated “Emperor”. Qin was destroyed just a few decades later by an alliance of rebel generals who again took the title of 王 for themselves. In the end, the 王 of Han conquered the other  王, and declared himself Emperor. He made his sons  王 to rule over various conquered territories as vassals to the Emperor. Later Emperors continued to give out this title to their sons, but over time all their powers were stripped away. So basically what happened was that the Emperor sent away all his sons, except the heir to the throne, to pretend to rule over territories actually governed by officials appointed by the Emperor. It is actually quite similar to modern European royal families. The Duke of Sussex doesn't actually rule over Sussex. For these people translating  王 as “King” doesn't really fit that well, which is why “Prince” is often used as well. But at the same time rulers of foreign states continued to be called 王. The issue is further confused by a third use of the title, as a stepping stone to declaring yourself Emperor. At the end of Han, Cao Cao, Sun Quan and Liu Bei three at various stages took the title of 王. One of the privileges of being an amateur is that you can do what you like, so I have decided to always translate  王 as King. Create Assembly has chosen to use Prince. But you should know that it really exactly the same word, it is just a choice of translation. War of the Eight Kings

The Book of Jin is a history book written in the early 7th century, based on earlier now mostly lost books. It covers the history of the Western and Eastern Jin empires from 266 to 420 AD, and is divided into 130 Scrolls (or “Chapters”). From 291 to 306. the ruling family of the Western Jin Empire tore itself apart in a series of internal conflicts, eventually ending with the full collapse of the empire. Scroll 59 of the Book of Jin has biographies for the eight members of the Jin imperial family that had leading roles in these conflicts: Sima Liang, King of Runan (d. 291) Sima Wei, King of Chu (b. 271, d. 291) Sima Lun, King of Zhao (d. 301) Sima Jiong, King of Qi (d. 302) Sima Ai, King of Changsha (b. 277, d. 304) Sima Ying, King of Chengdu (b. 279, d. 306) Sima Yong, King of Hejian (d. 306) Sima Yue, King of Donghai (d. 311) Because of that, the whole time period has become know as the “War of Eight Kings”, but this is not really a very accurate description. First of all, all eight kings were never active at the same time, the youngest ones were just kids when the first ones got killed. It was also not just one war, but rather a series of palace coups, which escalated into a series of short civil wars, which escalated into a big messy civil war and general rebellion. I sometimes call the period for the “Jin civil wars”. War of Eight Kings sounds much cooler though. Rise of the Sima clan, reign of Emperor Wu I won't go into too much detail here on the rise to power of the Sima clan, and their takeover of of the Wei empire, the most of powerful of the Three Kingdoms. Sufficient to say, is that in 249 Sima Yi, one of Wei's leading generals and statesmen, and co-regent to the Emperor, launched a coup to effectively take control of the government of Wei. When Sima Yi died in 251, power passed to his oldest son, Sima Shi. And when Sima Shi died without sons in 255, power passed to his younger brother Sima Zhao. By the end of 260 Sima Zhao had done away with the last of his rivals, and installed a puppet emperor of his own choosing. In 263 his generals conquered Shu and Liu Shan's Han empire. On 2 May 264 he was granted the title King of Jin. Sima Zhao died 6 September 265. Sima Zhao was inherited by his oldest son Sima Yan, who quickly went through the final steps to replacing Wei, like Wei had previously replaced Han. The final Emperor of Wei abdicated 4 February 266, and on 8 February Sima Yan formally ascended the throne as Emperor of Jin. He has become best known under his posthumous title Emperor Wu – the “Martial Emperor”. Views on Emperor Wu is usually reduced to someone who indulged himself with a massive harem, while instituting policies that would eventually doom his empire. But compared to his predecessors, his almost 25 year long reign was a hallmark of stability. While court intrigues were sometimes quite fierce, in the end there were no political executions. And in 280 Jin's generals quickly overwhelmed Sun Hao's Wu empire in a massive invasion that reunited most territories of the old Han empire. Position of the Sima princes within the empire First the Han and then the Wei Emperors had kept their relatives out of political power, and instead sent them away with empty noble titles. This had the benefit of stopping them from interfering in the government and challenging the Emperor's authority. But it had the big downside of isolating the Emperor from his natural allies against takeovers from outside the imperial family. This meant that if the Emperor was a child, or otherwise incapable or uninterested in ruling, there was a power vacuum waiting for an outsider to fill. During the Han, the court had often been dominated by the Empress' family. During Wei nobody had been able to stop the Sima family from taking over. It turned out that while all the officials of course professed their absolute loyalty to the Emperor, most of them did not really mind someone not the Emperor being actually in charge. Based on these lessons, Emperor Wu decided to deeply involve his family in running the empire. First of all, at the beginning of his reigns he gave all his male relatives the Sima clan titles as kings. All descendants of his great grandfather Sima Fang were included. Sima Fang had eight sons, Sima Yi had nine sons, and Sima Zhao also had nine sons. So altogether there were quite a lot of them. I will try to include small family trees with those who become relevant.Having made his relatives Kings, Emperor Wu then also increased their privileges compared to what imperial relatives had enjoyed during Han and Wei. He gave the some say in appointments to their fiefs, the right to a personal armed guard, and let them stay in the imperial capital at Luoyang rather than requiring them to go and look after their fiefs, but most importantly he gave them important appointments at court and command of armies in the field. Sima Liang's political power did not come from his title as the notional King of Runan, but the important offices he held, and because he was the Emperor's trusted granduncle. Sima Zhong becomes Heir Emperor Wu had altogether twenty-six sons, but only nine survived to adulthood. His first wife was Yang Yan from the prestigious Yang clan of Hongnong. They had three sons, all born before he became emperor. The oldest died young, but the two others survived, these were Sima Zhong (b. 259) and Sima Jian (b. 262). When at the founding of Jin, Emperor Wu made Yang Yan his Empress, and almost exactly a year later, on 4 February 267, he formally established Sima Zhong as his heir to the throne. Sima Zhong was then seven or eight years old. On 2 April 272 Sima Zhong was married to Jia Nanfeng (b. 257), daughter of Jia Chong (d. 282), one of the most prominent men in the empire. Sima Zhong was then twelve or thirteen years old, she was two years older. In theory, the Emperor, as an autocrat with absolute power, could designate whoever he wanted as heir to the throne, but culturally the expectation was that the Emperor's oldest son with his Empress should inherit. There had not been a regularly appointed heir since Cao Rui. Quickly designating his oldest son as the heir signalled that the Jin empire would be run along orthodox lines. There was also the general fickleness of life to consider. Life expectancy in the 3rd century was much shorter than it is today, and mortality at all ages was much higher. There was no guarantee Emperor Wu would live to see his children grow up. Having an heir already in place, whose legitimacy was unassailable and who was connected by marriage to one of the leading families of the times, should have left the succession a settled question.