#but seriously this goes for both sides you see ppl hating on the thing you like? go 'idgaf' and block

[silencingspellsongs]

begging people to adopt the idgaf mindset i think if we all just developed a lil idgaf energy it would lead us to nirvana

[rose-in-a-fisted-glove]

Hi it’s the SU anon here I’m very sorry for how much I upset you, and I seriously wanted to piece tgt what I’m missing from the Jewish viewpoint so I appreciate u still being open to talking to me despite the ignorance. Also disclaimer I’m born and raised in Malaysia so I’ve not met an actual Jew in person until very recently in uni, so all I know is from the messy pile on the internet and I do genuinely learn from ur posts when I see them.

From what I see on ur blog u do show quite a lot of sympathy to the all the cruelty happening in Gaza, but don’t tolerate this being used as an excuse to target Israel/Jewish ppl. I do understand that the whole concept of pushing for an Israel/jewish ethnostate is very much entwined with the history of Jewish culture and the antisemitism endured through different times, so I think this is the part where I made the most ignorant statement on? After rereading what I wrote it might also have sounded like all Jews hold extremely reactionary views towards the word “ceasefire”? Pls do point out more of what upset u, I take full responsibility for what I said and pls stop this convo at any point if I end up offending u more.

Recognizing that you don't know something is the first step towards fixing it. It's good that you thought on your previous ask and tried to research it! But you're missing an awful lot so let's start from the top.

(As a reminder and so others can seee, here's the original ask)

"Hi, this a question abt ur opinion on what’s happening in Gaza just bc you’re one of my favourite blogs that goes deep into Jewish culture/issues. If at any point this question becomes annoying pls ignore.

Anyways so in my college SU meeting recently someone sent in a motion to make an official statement to condemn the war and call for immediate and permanent ceasefire + provide more support to the Jewish and Muslim/Arab students affected by increased hate in the community as well. This sparked a debate among those in attendance and of course there’s a few very pro-Israel voices that insists that a ceasefire will cause Israel to lose all ability to defend itself as well as many pro-Palestine arguments. The motion ended up discarded bc of procedural reasons but as someone who has mostly held a free Palestine view so far and has been hoping for a more inclusive Israel in the future, I don’t understand why stopping a war hurting both sides is taken as an Israel must disappear take by many. I always just accepted it as it’s probably got a lot more antisemitic undertone when it’s a Jew that hears it, but I really wanna hear ur take as well bc the debate I witnessed brought up very disturbing points that I can’t stop thinking about. Hope this didn’t end up sounding disrespectful and thanks for always sharing important Jewish viewpoints without undermining other social issues!"

First problem comes right with the opening sentence; "Hi, this a question abt ur opinion on what’s happening in Gaza just bc you’re one of my favourite blogs that goes deep into Jewish culture/issues."

Going to random Jews who do not post about the conflict and asking for their "stance" on it is part of a series of antisemitic loyalty tests and is extremely rude on top of it. Furthermore, speaking on Jewish cultures and issues and antisemitism is not the same as being experienced or knowledgeable on international conflicts.

And then your next paragraphs are of course riddled with anti-Israeli biases and examples that you've been listening to/reading propaganda uncritically, such as "wanting a more inclusive Israel" and in your more recent ask saying things like "I do understand that the whole concept of pushing for an Israel/jewish ethnostate is very much entwined with the history of Jewish culture and the antisemitism endured through different times". So you clearly have a basic lack of knowledge about both Israel and the conflict in general along with Zionism itself.

But, again, that's not an area I talk about much. If any of the folks who do talk about it, see this and want to go into it, please do! Just to repeat here, you shouldn't have been asking me in the first place.

Then, this part here, showed me that you have a history of dismissing antisemitism as Jews being overly sensitive "I always just accepted it as it’s probably got a lot more antisemitic undertone when it’s a Jew that hears it." And then that was compounded by your closing insult, "thanks for always sharing important Jewish viewpoints without undermining other social issues!"

And that closing insult told me that I had woefully failed in sharing any information about antisemitism at all. "Sharing important Jewish viewpoints without undermining other social issues". Jewish "viewpoints" and antisemitism are just as important as any other sort of bias. Pointing out antisemitism and sharing stories about antisemitism does not, and can not, undermine other social issues. It is not lesser. Honestly, I'm still kind of livid over that shot.

[fairy-writes]

The Decay of Yesterday: Chapter Thirteen {Viktor x Reader}

this is a reader-insert fic, but i hate the terms y/n, (name), etc., so i’ll be using the nickname “scout” in place of it! if that’s not your cup of tea, well, then this probably isn’t the story for you. hope you enjoy!

i give some of the arcane characters last names in this because, y’know… traditionally, ppl have last names, lol

word count: 1.5k

masterlist

<- first chapter

<-previous chapter

next chapter ->

____________________________________________________________________________

Five years after the first outbreak

The door to the hospital was broken in. But not from the outside. It looked as if a large force had bulldozed its way through the automatic doors from the inside. Maybe people trying to get out? But then what had locked the doors?

Had the hospital locked its own people inside in an attempt to stop the virus from spreading?

You push the thought from your mind as Vander motioned for the two of you to follow him around the side to another entrance. It was the emergency room entrance, with an ambulance smashed through the front doors and bodies lay decomposing. Well… decomposing was a generous word. The corpses were little more than skin and bones. Their bellies had ruptured with gas soon after death, and organs were shriveled bits of tissue surrounding them. 

It looked like the wild animals of the city had already picked through their share of the human corpses. You shuddered at the thought of being eaten. From what you gathered, the undead only went after living humans and animals, so those already dead were ignored. These poor people were likely killed by the ambulance crash, either that or in the riots that followed the outbreaks. 

You pushed those thoughts from your mind as well. Now wasn’t the time. 

The hard linoleum floors were covered with dried blood and grime. You could see the dust particulates in the air from the snowy sunlight streaming in through the broken glass of the emergency room doors. You had to stifle a sneeze in the crook of your elbow and pray that any undead still in the hospital had terrible hearing. 

When you let the sneeze out, your little trio froze and listened. There was the sound of footsteps upstairs. But something was… off. They seemed too fast. Too regular. Not at all like the shuffling of a zombie corpse. 

A flash of panic goes through you when Vander lays a hand on your shoulder, his Lobo in his other hand. He’s deadly calm, with a set frown on his face and a dark look in his eyes. You and Viktor share a look, and the air is suspiciously silent of a snarky comment.

At least he knew when to take things seriously. 

The three of you duck behind desks and walls as the footsteps move toward and down the stairs at the end of the hall. The metal shakes and creaks, and you have no doubt that the dead are beginning to wake. Then, just as that thought passes your mind, you hear the resounding moan that means a zombie has spotted someone living.

The footsteps quicken, and Jayce bursts through the set of doors at the bottom of the stairs. His face is covered in sweat, and his backpack is bursting at the seams. You rush forward, as does Viktor, and you all crash into each other in a hug. Jayce stumbles backward but doesn’t fall. His strong arms go around you both, and he grins,

“You guys are okay!” He nearly shouts, only for you to shove your hand over his mouth.

“Quiet!” You hiss but are happy to see him nonetheless. 

His following words are muffled, and once you are confident he isn’t going to shout, you remove your hand. He gestures back toward the stairs,

“We need more supplies, but I don’t have enough room in my pack. If I show you guys, could you help carry it?” He asks, and you pause, a feeling of trepidation washing over you. 

You can’t help but feel like something terrible is going to happen. 

The bad feeling doesn’t go away as you approach the door Jayce had initially burst out of. The sounds of the shuffling of the undead grow in numbers, and as you make it to the second floor, you can hear the zombie moans echoing through the desolate hallways. 

It doesn’t make the feeling any better. 

If anything, it makes it worse. 

Viktor is in front, setting the pace and looking for specific things. You can hear him mumbling under his breath, listing off various medications as he pauses to root through cabinets of empty hospital rooms. He checks the labels of each one, and if they’re not expired—or so you assume—he tosses them to Jayce, who in turn hands them to you to stuff in your backpack. Vander keeps a lookout, a dark look on his face as he listens to the zombies getting ever closer. 

As the four of you leave the room, you freeze in your tracks. 

At least a dozen of walking corpses are spilling down the hallway in a slow shuffle. Then, finally, they spot you, and almost simultaneously, a chorus of wails and howls erupt from their throats. Vander grabs ahold of your backpack just as you swing it onto your shoulders. You stand frozen like a deer in the headlights, and then he hauls you down the opposite hallway. Jayce is in the lead, and Viktor is keeping pace as best he can. 

That is… until he stops dead in his tracks. 

“Viktor! Come on!” You shout, shrugging your backpack from your shoulders and waving Vander and Jayce on with a quick “We’ll catch up!”

Thankfully (or maybe not), they listen and take off down the corridor.

You sprint back to Viktor’s side and grab his arm roughly. He hasn’t moved, eyes locked on something in front of him. His face is pale, his shoulders trembling, and he looks close to tears. 

What was going on?

You turn to see what he’s so worked up about and frown.

“Sky Young”

Then you remember what Jayce said to you when you were first at the compound. 

“Sometimes he is. But he means well. He’s just under a lot of pressure from Silco, being the head scientist and makeshift doctor and all. It doesn’t help that Sky—She—”

And then… back at the house when Viktor was asleep…

You shake his shoulder gently, waiting to see some sort of response. He shifts, mumbles something that sounds vaguely like “Sky,” and turns over.

You shake Viktor forcefully, and it seems to snap him out of it. He adjusts his crutch under his arm and spins away from the zombie reaching for him. The two of you hurry down the hall and make it to a hospital room when the doorway is blocked by more undead. 

Where are Jayce and Vander?

That doesn’t matter now. 

You have the walkie-talkie. 

You can get in contact with them later. 

You slam the door behind you and move the hospital bed in front of the door, piling furniture and objects against it the best you can. There’s slumping against the doorframe, and it shakes with the force of all the bodies piling up against it. 

But the barrier holds. 

And that’s all that matters. 

You’re on the second story, so if need be, you can climb out the window and likely survive… right?

Viktor slumps against the wall, and you whirl to face him, anger tensing your shoulders and gritting your teeth.

“What was that.” You snap, and he turns his head to face the window.

“It doesn’t matter.” He grumbles, and your temper flares.

That wasn’t going to work. 

“Oh, I don’t think so.” You snap and throw a hand to gesture a the door where it’s still shaking. “You almost got us both killed. I think I deserve an explanation.” You continue, and he turns to look at you, fury illuminating those pretty eyes till they look almost gold.

“I’m telling you, it doesn’t matter.” He says, and before you know it, your fingers are fisted in the collar of his jacket, and you’re yanking him closer until your noses are touching. 

“Tell me.” You command, and he narrows his eyes, takes in your bristling appearance, and speaks. His voice is firm, leaving no room for questions.

“Her name was Sky Young.” He eventually says in a quiet but hard voice. You roll your eyes at that,

"No shit, Sherlock. I gathered that.” You blurt, ignoring his tone of voice, and he glares,

“I wasn’t finished. She was the first zombie.” At that, you recoil and drop his jacket, stumbling back.

The first zombie? How did he know that?

You ask him as such, and he looks away again before mumbling something. 

“What?” You ask, and he glances at you, his voice wavering as he speaks. He looks close to tears again. 

“Because I created the zombie plague. She was the first victim.” 

____________________________________________________________________________

taglist (let me know if you want to be tagged!): @trfanglophile | @slasherflickchick | @blackswansociety | @cremthehive

[undead-discourse]

I feel like the only way this blog can ethically exist is if there's a basic requirement of civility. If you allow and post "confessions" like "proshippers should be neutered" this blog just becomes a way for ppl to anonymously bully folks.

I'm just gonna post these both together and respond to it all at once. I had to chew on it for a while and I had a meeting, so I'm sorry I didn't respond to your first ask right away.

Under a cut since this got a little long.

I honestly thought that person was being sarcastic. To me, it read very similarly to a lot of the things people were saying about the whole paraphilia thing from a few days ago, the whole "Right, because we should seriously kill people for kids they MIGHT hurt in the FUTURE" sentiment I saw a few people toss around.

But whether they meant it or not, whether they're seriously someone who holds this belief or someone mocking said belief, it's clearly ambiguous enough to hurt people regardless.

Posting that in the profic/proship tags (especially with no trigger warnings) was irresponsible of me and I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry to anyone I hurt, especially since I didn't give you any way to effectively prevent seeing stuff like that.

Honestly, I've been kind of skimming my asks for a few days, ever since the paraphilia shit I mentioned. All of that made me kind of want to vomit and I hated reading anything about it. Everything involved in that was kind of disgusting and there were several asks I genuinely couldn't finish. But...

I really don't like censoring or deleting the things people have to say in my ask box. When I created this blog, it was to post anything and everything I received, with no filter and no censorship (except for personally identifiable/directly targeted asks). Screaming into the void about silly fandom discourse and shipping two characters together. It isn't about which side has good or valid points or makes any sense at all, it's supposed to be cathartic.

I wanted to see what people would say when they knew there was no pressure or expectations to say one thing or the other, that no matter what they said, I'd still post it. Even if the content made me feel sick. Even if it were something I find genuinely immoral.

I completely understand why people wouldn't want these asks up, and especially why they wouldn't want it in the profic tags, which is why I've purged them all from the profic/proship tags. I'm also in the process of adding trigger tags to each post that might be triggering (formatted as "tw: *trigger*" if you want to block them). However, I've been posting things I don't personally agree with and things I genuinely cannot read all the way through, because I specifically don't want to delete anything anyone has sent.

I can delete the more aggressive asks completely and never answer anything like that again, but If I do that, I'll be deleting asks about my personal triggers as well. This means that asks involving discussion of incest, pedophilia, or necrophilia in any depth, real or in media, goes too. If I'm filtering out what people can send me, I'm not going to intentionally trigger myself anymore for this blog.

Or I can keep those posts "up," but with heavy trigger warnings. If I go with this, I'll put them under a cut as well so people have to read the trigger warnings and then click a button to see it.

Again, I'm very sorry for posting that ask in the profic/proship tag where anyone could see it completely unprompted. I need to be more responsible with this going forward, that much is certain. I'm going to leave the route this blog goes up to you all. Please give me your thoughts.

[leoleolovesdc]

If I was to rewrite victorious Andre would be a cool trans guy who everyone in the school wants to go out w but hes actually secretly (not as much as he’d like to think, but still) pining for Cat, who’s actually aroace and pretty oblivious to his feelings, but she does entertain the thought of being w him which results in some silly situations like:

Cat: [kisses Andre on the cheek]

Cat (giggling): Sorry, I’m such a dork..

Andre: Thank you.

Cat: Huh?

Andre: [telling everything to the gang later]

Tori: Seriously?! “Thank you”??

Andre (sobbing in embarassment): I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY, OKAY?

Tori would be this one highschool kid who has gone to one too many identity crisis in middle shool regarding her gender and sexuality and has simply given up on labeling themselves. When she comes to Hollywood arts and the coffee incident happens there’s no romantic or sexual tension w Beck whatsoever (but Jade still hates her out of spite), they become very good friends w Andre just like in the show, is also good friends w Cat and Robbie and forms this unapologetically gay rivalry w Jade.

Jade is basically the same, just maybe less cartoonishly evil?? Still a lot of anger issues, bisexual she/they energy. breaking things and scaring the shit out of ppl. She dates Beck by the beginning but they very obvsly dont get along and its js as delightful as it is annoying hearing them argue abt everything all the fcking time and rant abt how much they hate each other js to not break up (they will eventually, dw)

Beck is not changed much, just more consistent. Sarcastic pretty boy, good actor, very blunt and open about his feelings, simply impossible to scare (maybe that’s why he managed to date Jade for so long💀)

Robbie is js the same weirdo w a puppet, except in this he’d lean more into a asshole-nerd trope. Is a fucking cunt to everyone, probably has big ass crush on Beck that he’ll never admit, flirts w every girl he sees out of insecurity, etc.

In this concept Rex is pretty much his own person, but since Robbie is a jackass then they are over all more similar, Rex still “bullies” Robbie, but it’s slightly toned down as they probably enjoy the same kinda things, have more compatible personalities, etc. Robbie’s js more awkward about… welll, everything.

Trina is still Trina, except we’d treat her like a actual character and not some “look, she’s bad at singing” joke

Cat is similar to her early seasons’ version, she is kinda dumb, volatile and weird but not completely out of it. She kind of knows how to play people (especially boys) to get what she wants. Most of her dumbness would actually be translated into obliviousness, Cat doesn’t notice thiings, she’s always in her own world and doesn’t rlly care abt “normal” things

In this Andre and Tori are best friends (none of the og chow fuckery where they claim beck and andre r besties somehow)

Cat and Robbie are completely platonic on Cat’s side while Robbie makes a few moves on her once in a while (w/o any intention of actually dating her)

Jade and Tori are just gay. I can’t really explain any way else. It’s the same as in the show, just more explicitly gay. Like, in the way where Jade probably goes out of her way to make Toris life miserable but gets very mad whenever someone else does it (shes probably screamed “only i can make her life living hell” at students in hollywodd arts more than once). Tori is also meaner to jade in retaliation, but theyre both kind of into fighting each other so its not rlly that much of a rivalry and more of a amusing thing. Theyre also weirdly jealous of each other. Jade chases people down the hall with scissors whenever someone makes a move on Tori

Beck and Tori are 100% platonic, they hang out more than they did in the show (which fuels jades bother w them in the beginning) but remain abt the same level of closeness

Jade is.. less mean to Cat. Like they dont find bothering her as funny bc she js doesnt understand it and it ends up being meaningless, thats kind of the only reason they manage to get along

Cat and Beck r pretty much the same as the show, still kinda big bro and lil sis dynamic

Cat and Tori are like the girlies ever. They go shopping together, gossip abt everything and everyone bc they know that no one else likes listening to them

Beck is pretty chill, w Robbie, who as I said, is kinda gay for him, theyre not that close but also not not-friends

Andre and Beck are very close, they fight a lot abt silly stuff but always make up and go back to being bros in less than a day

Robbie is kinda mean to Tori but theyre twice as mean back so they make it work🫶

Jade intimidates the shit outta Robbie, he is a jackass to everyone except her bc he knows he’ll get his dick chopped off if he tries anything funny

I already expanded on Andre and Cat’s dynamic, so yeah

Idk why am i even writing this but here it is

[pussyistheforbiddenfruit]

There is no such thing as a nongoldstar lesbians. Nongoldstar lesbians are homophobic bisexual women which is why they have a festering hatred for goldstar lesbians aka female homosexuals.. because goldstar lesbians are proof that all their dumb excuses are bullshit lies, that it is actually easy for a lesbian woman to not fuck a man.. because it’s not in her nature to.

Almost all of their arguments are based off of lies, such as that nasty anon who used rape victims. No goldstar mentions rape victims, everyone knows rape is nonconsensual. The thing is however if you consented to sex with a man, you’re not a lesbian. Lesbians are completely incapable of consenting to sex with a man because it goes against their homosexual nature. This isn’t about rape, forced prostitution, lesbians living in hyperconservative places where they have absolutely no option. Lesbians using beards to avoid being disowned by their families. Nongoldstar “lesbians” know this but they’re manipulative homophobic bisexual women who use these womens stories to explain away their obvious male attraction. My opinion is that lesbians allowing bisexual women aka “nongoldstars” to colonise their own sexuality & space has done insane amounts of damage to lesbianism itself. Before transwomen preyed on lesbians with “girl cock” and “transbian” bisexual women preyed on lesbians first with their nongoldstar garbage, both transwomen & bisexual women hate “goldstars” because they’re both predatory homophobes. U should ask urself why it’s ONLY lesbianism the only sexuality that doesn’t centre men, that has been split into two parts, the lesbians & the “lesbians” with a MALE history.

Yep lesbians are too spinless and allowed bisexuals and trans ppl to conquer our sexuality its fucking sucks.

I already explained my opinion about non-goldstars, alot of them are bi thats obvious however i also believe their could be an exception for that one who had sex with a male in highschool i know i said some but alot of women are weak minded and doormats tbh 🤦🏽‍♀️ especially when she is young she probably pushes her disgust to the side and felt traumatized by it.

Of course its not in our nature to do so, then we wouldn't be lesbians lol. Another reason they hate us cause of that internalize disgust, inferiority complex and victim mindset they got..maybe even guilt too but idk about that especially they way so freely and happily roleplay as us lol.

Of course both of them would hate goldstars, bi women are male adjecent and transwoMEN are well men 😂. No shocker there but bi women its absolutely disgusts me i dont expect better from men but i have exceptions for women.

I agree alot of them are predatory and male minded, they view their same sex attraction the same way men do, they use and objectify lesbians, feel entitled to our pussies, its fucking disgusting and now they want our word too.

Then wanna cry and play victim when we wont date (fuck) them 🙄

All of this trans shit could be avoided if lesbains grow a pair and fight back, like fr stop the fucking asskissing and validation seeking omfg its pisses me off, lesbians are the reason there spaces are being ruined in the western world, stop being whiny little bitches and fight DAMN, its so annoying, i dont even care about the trans bullshit anymore because its so stupid and could easily be solved and its also cause i dont live in a country where that affects me directly so i dont feel like its my place to talk about these things 😅

But i also kind of disagree with your last sentence there its not only lesbians who have those two things too, gay men have them you see "gay" men getting married and making women pregnant too, they put them in the forefront of homosexuality too alongside with "lesbians" who fuck males. Ppl hate homosexuality period. but ofc lesbians more cause as we dont worship males and dick like good women are suppose to do.

Ppl also take gay men seriously too, gay men dont have to worry about their "reputation" being ruined they can fuck and get women pregnant ppl still believe they're gay, but lesbians we are on "thin ice", ppl dont wanna take us seriously and will use any excuse not to.

Which is why they LOVVEE non-goldstars and sneakdickers they prove them right that the only way to know if u like women is through males and they must serectly like dudes still.

Honestly i dont care what male worshippers and males say about us anymore who gives a fuck if they dont take lesbians seriously? Its not like lesbians going to go extinct or disappear cause they dont believe us im tired of talking to a bunch of brick walls about this obvious shit.

Even though i know now its a different type of erasure instead of pretending that we dont exist they are invading our space and stealing our words, welp if lesbians dont fight back i guess they gotta say bye bye to their spaces and their words. Me though? I couldnt care anymore I know i will forever be attracted to only women even if the word didnt exist or is being used incorrectly now.

[corvusissotired]

Trans and jewish ppl also said they still support and love the franchise. It was an integral part to their journey. Guess what. They have been told to stfu because they don't speak for their community. You see how fucked up it is? BOTH povs are valid. You can't dismiss one voice over the other to fit your agenda. The world is not black or white. Ppl are entitled to their opinion and telling trans and jewish ppl that support the game and franchise to fuck off is wrong. Period.

Lol buddy cmon. First, like I'm gonna believe an anon. It's so easy to link evidence of these Jewish and trans people saying they needed to buy the game because HP--an antisemitic, racist series made by a fomenting, raging mistake of a human being who has literally implied ALL trans women are, TRIGGER WARNING, rapists in a wig and skirt--was integral to their journey. Not saying it's not true, just saying it's hard to believe. Put up or shut up.

Second, at no point have I said it's ok to tell Jewish and trans people who play HL that they aren't part of their respective communities because they enjoy HP or even HL. It's not. But please note that, while you're 100% still part of the community and deserve rights as much as the rest of us, I will not trust you. A lot of us won't. Because you put a game above our lives, above your own life. And you absolutely are allowed to be upset about that but...something something fuck around and find out? Your actions have consequences. Literally don't know what else to say. It also makes zero sense. You want rights...but you're actively shitting on them by buying this game. Not saying it's ok to gatekeep, just putting it into perspective that if you do want basic fucking rights, maybe don't buy a game thats made by someone who is actively working to take them away? In any case, I have yet to see anyone in the anti HL tag, to streamers, to ANYONE who's playing the game, say any of that. That sounds fake as hell. Again, could be real but it's a bit unbelievable. Put up or shut up.

Anyway, not sure why you're bent about all this in my inbox. I have said none of these things so sounds like you're just another one of those people who, every time a trans person has a negative opinion about HL, you feel guilty and lash out. If you're here from my post, guess what? None of what I said was meant to be taken as a threat to people who play HL. My point with that post was to point out the people who buy it purely to hate trans people even more and that they're proving our ostracization, our being killed, is merely a joke to them. If you don't see the issue with that, or think there's 2 eQuaLLy iMpOrtAnt siDeS, there's seriously no helping you.

Please also note that none of what I said was untrue either. This is how fascism works. It starts slow and small. It's just a game right? But that game takes money. And that money goes into the pockets of an absolute mistake of a human. And then she gives it to politicians and bills and organisations that actively want marginalized people gone, dead. And now those politicians make office and those bills pass and those orgs are funded even more by these people now in power. And now they've seized that power and are actively killing people like me and you and other marginalized groups.

But go a-fucking-head. Have your game. Enjoy your nostalgia. But please ask yourself: was it worth it? Was it worth it to help put people's lives even more in danger than they already are, just so you could have your few months of dopamine and nostalgia from a game that will be forgotten in about a year? And maybe also ask yourself if it was worth it to put YOUR OWN life at risk for a few months of nostalgia and dopamine. Because a LOT of us don't think it is. And it's unfair that you are putting a literal game above our and your own life.

[golbrocklovely]

i watched amanda and mackie's video with snc at the stanley hotel so you wouldn't have to.

here's my recap/review (it's really long btw):

i will say, overall, not at all like snc's style of filming. a lot different of a vibe. mostly calmer. less flashy editing.

it's also weird to watch this video bc this takes place the day after they did snc's investigation so like… at this point they are just repeating information. also sam seems a lot calmer (or not as interested???).

both snc have a tendency when they are in other ppl's videos to be super calm and not as energetic as they are in their own. i mean, it makes sense but it's always surprising to see them calm and not jumping at the sound of a creaking floorboard.

tho that does happen in this video a bit haha

so they start the video off by talking about the history. basically everything we've heard before, but especially in snc's video.

also snc kinda confirm that they don't do their research until they get to the places they are investigating…. jesus these boys lol

then they start their investigation in the room the boys are staying in, the cowboy room.

first off, sam really brought a vacuum with him to the stanley, huh.

anyway…

amanda says she doesn't really feel anything in the room, but they start investigating and get the rem pod going off, temp wise. they also keep hearing creaks all over the place. the flashlight that they have in the closet goes on and off too.

idk why but i kinda thought amanda would be using her powers more often since it's her channel (along with mackie's) but like… yeah. why isn't she asking spirits a question?? or whatever she does.

they move onto the estes method.

first amanda does it. they don't seem to have all that much luck. the flashlight goes off and on a couple times. mackie tries it after. weirdly, the box itself starts making a static noise. flashlight goes off too. it was all kinda interesting and not at the same time.

so amanda and mackie head to 217 or the stephen king room.

the best part of the video happens: snc wear the shining twin dresses. first off, hate the fact their legs look better than mine in a dress. secondly, idk what was up with snc but they were feeling themselves and were extra flirty with each other in the dresses. i'm not kidding. seriously, if you don't want to watch the video, just watch it for this part lmao

sam flashes the camera, colby almost rips the dress by flexing his arms (kinda hot honestly), they hold each other hands, colby slaps his own ass, there's a lot going on.

they try to contact the spirit of ms. wilson. rem pod goes off in the janitor closet. light battery dies. they try the spirit box but nothing really happens. they move onto the vortex area.

idk why but i find it weird to be doing all this investigating in the middle of the hotel. it's one thing to do it in your room, it's another to do it at the opening of the hotel basically. anyway, the music box goes off a lot, the ovulus says a bunch of word. they say they heard a couple voices around them but… they're literally in a lobby with other ppl talking. it was probs one of their voices bouncing off the walls lol

they move onto a tour guide who shows them the music hall. their tour guide is pretty chill. he talks about his experiences working there. he heard a banshee like scream happen one night, the same as jackie. that's creepy as hell.

they go investigate the stage. the guide tells them about a little boy spirit named billy. amanda senses someone in a side room, the music box goes off, the rem pod goes crazy. then they add in the spirit box and… they kept popping up words that they thought it was saying but i couldn't hear any. like it literally sounded like static.

after a while they go down to the tunnels. the tour guide showed photos of ppl that saw CHILDREN in the tunnels along with figures or shadows… no thanks lol

the music box goes off. flashlights go off and on a bunch. apparently there is a ghost/spirit in the tunnels named pierre??? they tried talking to him. not too much happened. a lot of knocks and creaks. spirit box was also kinda a dud.

they move on into the billards room. they do a spirit box session. apparently the room is haunted by a little ghost girl named emily???? (i think that's what they say her name is).

i'm gonna be honest this video was so fucking long and it felt even longer than that. i'm just… bored. say what you will about snc and their theatrics… but at least they keep me entertained and awake.

.....

okay, it's been two days. last time i was writing, i had a headache which is probs why i also didn't want keep watching the video lol i'll finish it, but don't tell me i never did anything for you guys.

they talk about mr and mrs stanley bc they've been caught in this room too. music box goes off. they think they are also being followed by dennis (a bad spirit in case i didn't say that).

the group goes back into lucy's area. rempod goes off in the closet, colby goes in and they shut the door. he screams, tries to go down the tunnel. the camera starts to act weird and so does the light. then, they use the ovulus again, says malevolent. they get a bunch of words that come thru that sound like warnings or that something is gonna attack them. there is this beeping noise that keeps going off that sounds like the rempod but isn't.

okay home stretch here: the final investigation that they do is in lucy's room (after going out to the mirror, talking to whatever is there, and then coming back in). they begin the estes method with amanda doing the listening.

so they were getting some pretty intense things coming thru the spirit box. basically, dennis, who they believe to be communicating with, tries to intimidate ppl when they are in that area. so he will say scary things like run, get out, leave, devil, evil, demonic, things like that. that's what the crew was getting as well. amanda eventually says she doesn't want to do it anymore bc she feels like she is going crazy. mackie says she doesn't want to do it bc she feels uncomfortable.

sam does it, bc i believe colby was like "fuck you, i did it twice yesterday. i don't want to do it anymore" lmao

while sam is doing it, it seems like the spirits are pinpointing on colby bc of course they fucking would.

colby ask "what's your intention", gets the response of "uh… you." then sam randomly says (a smidge later) "meet me" and then "after". and then mackie asks "after what" and colby just says "afterlife."

TELL ME WHY 30 SECONDS LATER SAM SAYS "LIFE"

colby is psychic and i will not be taking any further questions.

the rest of session is kinda just them thinking they are hearing a conversation between two spirits (lucy and dennis), some spirit is trapped but doesn't want to leave, and then the session ended.

and that was pretty much the entire video. i would rate the video overall like a 2.5/5. for actual evidence it was be like 4/5, but it was just… so slow. i literally took two days just to finish the last third of the video. i honestly think while this video wasn't bad, it could have been better if they would have edited down a bit, or sped somethings up. there was like, little to no energy throughout the whole video. i could have fallen asleep legitimately lol

it wasn't bad, and amanda wasn't annoying, so if you want to see like a chiller version of what snc do, i would recommend it.

that being said, i'm never doing this again sksks jk

[rosebrushstars]

Astrology Notes 2

I find astrology has something to do with creativity. The connections and the dots we have to see in order to understand life. Kinda creepy.

Pisces moons with Aries Sun - super nice ppl, would do anything you ask for but ONLY in the way they want. Let’s just say you want to eat fried chicken, they will give you the chicken only in their way of doing things whether ordering online or cooking it themselves. You can’t tell them how you want it. They have their own way(Aries Sun) of being nice(Pisces Moon).

The little secret that you didn’t know about Scorpios is that they love their dark side more than the bright side. They think it is their ultimate power to feel things deeply and hit the rock bottom intentionally so that they can give rebirth to themselves.

Sag moons suffer the most during the pandemic. The poor soul cannot go out. Would be doing something fun every week to make sure their soul is still alive during stay at home.

Everyone’s gone through depression but,

No one knows Virgo Moons suffer the most.

Scorpios suffer but they don’t trust others to help them so they do it themselves by standing up for them. 

Gemini would stop reaching out to ppl thinking they are too annoying. 

Taurus is the one who will never show it. They don’t even acknowledge themselves. they’d be saying to themselves Im fine Im fine this is nothing with a stern face and not-alive smile.

I sometimes think Cancers are ruled by Venus. I occasionally hate them because they are cry babies. But you cannot help loving them. It’s like they have this I am very lovable written on their face. 

Three babies of the zodiac but they have their own way of being a baby,

Aries - they don’t care if you care or not, they simply just go for what they want and somehow ppl think they are like babies.

Cancer - most of the time motherly type but can be the opposite if they feel really comfortable. Do the cute stuff becuz they know u gonna fall for them. 

Leo - the youngest child, I know you gonna tell me hey Leos rule the power and they r the lions. That’s when they are acting professional. Most of the time they are likely to be the ones who can act more clingy than Cancers. 

Capricorn Moons hate ppl crying. There are two reasons for that.

1. they would go out solve the problem rather than crying for no reason. They think crying doesn’t make things easier.

2. they know for a fact that crying would help their mental state but they just don’t remember how to do it since it’s been so long they have forbidden crying.

Taurus and Scorpio get along so well like the polarities of a magnet

when it comes to solving emotional problems, they both do it on their own, although 

Scorpios dig deep, kill themselves, give rebirth and come back stronger. 

Taurus would suppress their emotions and refuse to acknowledge them. They don’t know how to cut things off like Scorpios. 

The opposite sign of your dominant sign is what you have to learn (same as north node south node) 

Taurus need to learn how to cut off ppl and Scorpios need to learn how to be stable. 

Virgo should learn the spirituality and Pisces should learn the practicality.

Aries should know how to be diplomatic and Libra need to learn when to be selfish and how to set healthy boundaries.

I have a cousin who has Leo Sun Leo Moon and she always says this while she’s doing her makeup before she goes out with her friends, 

I want to be the prettiest, I want to steal the spotlight, I want everyone to look at me, I want all the attention. 

Seriously Im not making this up. She literally says exactly like this every time.

Sag-Pisces Dominant are play boys unless they have earth placements in their big 6.

Aquarius Venus are famous for friend-zoning ppl.

Aries Mars never look back.

No one dares to bully Uranus Dominant nerds for some reason cuz they can’t really tell how they would react.

Scorpio risings always feel weird inside but they think it’s special, they think it is what makes them different from the rest. (Aquarius 4H)

People will always mistaken you for whatever planet you have on your ascendant

Virgo ASC conjunct Sun -  LEO scary vibes, the one you don’t dare to talk back

The ultimate LIBRA would always get scolded for being selfless all the time by their fixed signs friends (Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius).

Leo Dads are so clingy. you know if you have one.

Both Uranus and Pluto represent change but,

Uranus is a sudden change that you’ve never dreamt of before.

Pluto is a slow and intense change that carries a heavy energy around it. 

[redxblueihateloveyou]

I'm surprised people see Tadashi as the victim in his relationship with Ainosuke, when it's Tadashi the one who time and time again takes away Ainosuke's agency, without being able to see that he is throwing him unto unhappiness. I can't help but think that if Tadashi was not working at Shindo's house, Ainosuke would have maybe left or broke with the family. But he can't do that if he wants the relationship with Tadashi going on, seing how Tadashi is set on enforcing the family rules...

Hmm.. I def agree with the fact that Tadashi is not what most fandom makes out of him, my man (I mean, Adam’s man) is a 100% Slytherin. But I disagree with blaming him for this, after all the revealed info. The environment they were both raised in made their situation complicated.

I like Tadashi a lot, he’s probably my fav thing about this anime, bc he’s a dark horse, and I’m once again surprised, that so little ppl see him for who he really is, portraying him as an innocent puppy, which he is definitely not.

Now to why I think both Tadashi and Adam are victims of the dad and aunties in this situation. 

We can of course say “if only they told each other how they really feel...”, but like we can say it about any love story really. Every author knows it’s no fun. The truth is that yes, they both hurt each other, and yes, if they were honest about their feelings things would’ve been different, but as I’ve already wrote under that “toxic” commentary on YT, lets look at the whole situation from both of their point of views:

We know that Adam when he was little always treated Tadashi as an equal, he never ever thought of him as someone lower than him and after their fall out, the only reason for this “harsh” treatment (well, besides their confirmed kink) was that Adam tried to get a reaction out of him, so Tadashi would stand up for himself, bc Ainosuke got mad about Tadashi caving to his dad’s wishes and abandoning him, when he needed him the most. 

But now, knowing the fact that Tadashi was his dad’s secretary and was under his control, let’s see it from his perspective: Tadashi wanted to stay by Adam’s side, Adam’s dad implied that if Tadashi did say smth, he’s gonna be.. well, dismissed and they won’t see each other ever again. That’s what caused Tadashi to stay silent in that moment. Ainosuke instead saw this as a “he’s not on my side” thing, well, because. Tadashi won’t tell him his problem, bc dad and aunties control everything, so even if he does tell him, what a teen would do really? He didn’t have any powers back then to make his dad do anything. 

And that’s when it all gone to shit, since they both were hurt for their own reasons. It’s easy to say leave the family, but 1stly nobody explained to Adam still that he’s physically and psychologically abused by his family, he sees it as them “loving him” and sadly also loves them, bc nobody told him, that love wasn’t supposed to be like that really. He definitely feels that smth is not right and feels emotionally exhausted there bc of this treatment, but did he ever consider leaving? I really don’t think so. He feels obligated to be worthy of a family, who “loves” him.

Do you think, for example, that Akashi Seijuro hates his dad for what he did to him? No. Does he understand that he wasn’t at fault for what happened to him and that his dad instead of comforting his child after his mother’s death, who was his only safe haven, made everything worse? I don’t think he does. Like his mom gave him basketball, an escape from all that family’s obligations and strictness. After her death, it was the only thing left that brought him joy, but his dad ruined even that, saying that if he’s gonna be bad at it/lose, he’d take it away from him too. Does Akashi see this as emotional abuse? No, he sees it like “well, I have to be the best bc I was born in such powerful family, so if my dad says that I must be best at everything, then I must.”

I personally hate such parents a lot. To me it doesn’t matter if Adam’s dad didn’t know about aunties hitting his child. Like if he was too busy to notice this and have no time for his kid and made his childhood miserable, it doesn’t make it any better really. 

Same as with Akashi’s dad. Some are like “he was probably also grieving about his wife”. Emm? He was like this from the beginning, bc he treated Akashi not as his son, but as his heir. And yes, that’s different things. Same with Endeavor and Todoroki. Your child is not your post production thing.

2ndly they were too young, even if they knew about each others feelings and he didn’t feel obligated and told everyone to fuck off, they’d be on the streets now, but also Adam’s dad doesn’t seem like a guy who’d leave them alone really. Also eloping seems very romantic, but I don’t think it is, esp when you’re teens. Did you want him to sell some expensive watch and go live on Hawaii or smth? Bc finding a decent job there would be difficult at this age, esp with everyone knowing who your dad is. Chen Ke from “Antidote” survived bc he was 27 and had connections and some great friends. Adam was in high school, where would he go exactly?

Now let’s go back to now. Obviously all this time it didn’t even cross Tadashi’s mind that for Ainosuke he comes first and that he would throw everyone under the bus to make Tadashi stay with him. As we see at the end, he legit believed that Adam was planning to send him to jail and didn’t get that he said it just to shaken he up and that he knew who he’d set up for this from the beginning. 

To Adam obviously it doesn’t matter whether they’re in a quarrel or not, he would never him go. Yes, he’s mad at him, he’s angry and hurt, but Tadashi’s still the person he needs the most, he’s still the person who brightens his days, even tho he deliberately behaves like he annoys him. He always looks at him and looks at him and looks at him, but then hisses smth to hurt him. Bc he knows that he needs him, but he also hates that he needs him, bc he thinks it’s unrequited.

And that’s how their classic romance goes in hellish circles. No one wants to talk as usual. Adam is mad Tadashi is like that bc his dad turned him into a slave with no opinion, while Tadashi is scared that Adam would be taken away from him bc of his ugly family. 

Now I still think that no one and I mean no one can take Tadashi from Adam now, he is his precious. So my plan is... if Tadashi made aunties do smth against him or to get rid of him, aunties will go for sure. The problem is Tadashi still doesn’t get that he comes first, so we’re stuck in this hell still.

So anyways, my point is Adam’s heart basically sings “you got a hold of me, don’t even know your power” to Tadashi, but he doesn’t hear it, bc of his insecurities, the way he was raised and his status. But yes, he holds all the power. He’s both Adam’s sanity and insanity. No matter how cheesy it sounds he was basically his only ray of sunshine in the darkness, if you take it away, that’s what it leads to, that’s why Ainosuke-sama needs more ppl who care for him. I don’t want anyone to die next time, just cause Tadashi and Adam fought about where to put their new couch lmao. I’m kidding, but you know what I mean. And kill the aunties, pls seriously, we need to be free.

Also ppl need to remember that like lots of animes/characters are parcially inspired by some other animes/characters, also the chosen seiyuus are also very important, there are lots of stuff like jokes and references, that creators use, from characters being fully inspired by smth like “Assassination classroom” characters based on KNB, to little stuff like Levi dressed in Akashi’s uniform in chibi AOT bc Hiroshi Kamiya. Utsumi already said before stuff like she sometimes think of a perfect voice for the character and then fully forms him, we also know her clear love for sports animes. So yes, I doubt Tadashi/Kuroko thing is a coincidence and even tho someone was like “zone? is this knb or smth?” I was like no, zone is actually a common thing in sports, even tho most associate it with KNB including me, it’s not like its their invention, but there were things inspired by this for sure, and from other sports animes too and no, I don’t mean the basic sports anime tropes, I mean, like way too specific things, some character designes, too. And yes, Langa appearence and personality wise is a rinharu child for real, I can literally split his scenes in “that’s Haru”, “that’s Rin”.

That’s why I’ve said that this situation in fandom reminds me of Kuroko/Akashi situation a lot, bc same as here in KNB ppl for some reason automatically thought that Kuroko is this innocent sheep and Akashi is the wolf (but also like it was Akashi who chose to dress as red riding hood, while Kuroko was a wolf lmao), not even seeing who is in reality more dangerous and who can easily control who. It just buffles me bc it’s not some deep analisys really. I mean once again there’s a reason for the saying that the sub holds all the power over the dom. 

And like just bc someone yells or threatens ppl constantly doesn’t necessarily mean he is a psycopatic killer, and just bc someone is quiet and doe-eyed, doesn’t mean he isn’t. I didn’t think we needed to explain this to someone, but aparently we do?

And it honestly kills me just how superficially ppl are watching things these days. It really gives me war flashbacks to stuff like the last mdzs s1 episode, where ppl started to comment things like “how LZ can be so heartless” lmao. Or that anonymous ask “do you think haru misses rin?”. Like you don’t see thing at all? Grey substance no needed, while watching things?

P.S. I also would die to see Adam vs Tadashi race just bc I for some reason can bet all my money, that it’s the same situation as with Akashi refusing to ankle break Kuroko, no matter how mad he is. I just can’t imagine Ainosuke hitting Tadashi in the face with a board. Like 100% sure he wouldn’t even try tbh.

[outrunningthedark]

still stuck on how flat both the Taylor and Ana characters are. The only things we know about them are their jobs...oh and I guess we know Ana has a grandfather named Edmundo. But seriously, we know nothing else about them aside from their careers and who they're dating. How are we supposed to root for them? How do ppl already root for them without knowing anything about them? It confuses me

I know you came to me because I would share your opinion, so allow me to remind you that we are involved in a fandom that finds reasons to "defend" and "stan" a fictional female character because they believe she "deserved better treatment", completely ignoring myself and other individuals who have explained ad nauseum why her negative portrayal matters to US. (This fandom will make posts about the importance of bi representation that get hundreds of notes, but come across the harsh truths about ableism and they just keep scrolling. Even if you don't understand it, it costs zero dollars to acknowledge someone else's experience. That's what the like and reblog buttons are for. But I digress!) If there is support for A*a, I am under the impression it's limited, but regardless, I have no explanation for WHY anyone wastes their time. The actress behind the role deliberately presents herself as Latina despite having no such background. *That* should be enough to turn people off, but it's clearly not. Were she a white woman a la ScarJo who has been guilty of auditioning for parts originally meant for WOC, fans would be calling for her head. On top of that, Andrew Meyers (the writer in charge of 3x12 aka the skateboard episode) PURPOSELY illustrated ableism through her. The entire point of Eddie teaming up with Buck to create an accessible skateboard was to show that ANA'S SOLUTION WAS THE WRONG ONE. Christopher doesn't need TWO parents/parental figures who are scared to confront and adapt to his CP when times get tough. In that particular episode, Eddie very much thought like A*a, at least at first. BUT. He took time to reflect, had an honest discussion with his son about how poorly he'd been handling Christopher's disability, and then sought help from someone (Buck!) who he trusted to make Christopher's dream come true while also keeping him out of harm's way. Eddie NEEDS a partner who is going to recognize and call out his (unintentional) ableism when necessary, not one who tells him Christopher's CP is a sign he's not supposed to try certain activities. Anyone who is still a "fan" of hers most likely 1) isn't Latina and/or 2) doesn't comprehend what was so bad about her comment. (That goes for the disabled as well, because there sure are quite a few members of my community who love to say "well, she wasn't exactly wrong...", and to those people I say: YOU HAVE BEEN LIED TO. Able-bodied people don't know what the fuck we're capable of. Remember that.) I talked recently about why a portion of fandom might be rooting for T*ylor/BuckT*ylor here, but I also think A*a has inadvertently contributed to the intense stanning. Our fandom REALLY likes questioning why female love interests aren't given more depth. They are labeled victims because men hate writing strong female characters!1!1! With T*ylor, Tim awarded her more of a personality/presence than A*a, and also gave viewers more insight into the "connection" between she and Buck before starting to date than they ever got with Ali while she was his girlfriend. And! Now we can assume T*ylor and Eddie will tolerate each other for Buck's sake in the coming season, whereas A*a and Buck did not interact until the finale...through a one-sided phone call. A female love interest that is actually being integrated into the show?!? A female love interest that has her own life outside of being someone's girlfriend?!? (She's a reporter, y'all! We're going to SEE her in action!) When fans have the bar for "positive female rep" set on the ground, it doesn't take much to get on their good side.

[janiedean]

I feel bad for all the nice J*nsa shippers who like their ship for whatever reasons (tropes, pretty art, aesthetic appeal, whatever) and know it's not canon but get associated with the misogynistic Dany hating crowd who act like Jon being attracted to Ygritte is J*nsa foreshadowing because red hair (I guess Jon should fuck Edmure Tully too? Omg give me Dark!Jon getting revenge on Catelyn by seducing her brother!) Tell me something. I'm new to the fandom but was J*nsa popular before the show? And I've heard something about the OG J*nsa shippers being alienated by the new shippers who insisted it had to be canon and acted like the series is called, "A song of J*nsa #danysux." I don't find that hard to believe because I know people who are now ashamed of calling themselves J*nsa shippers. Like, at this point, it's not only rival shippers who hate it. Even Gendrya/Braime/Jon stans/etc have started disliking that ship. You know your fandom is a problem when people who have nothing to do with Jnsa have a problem with it.

me: reads this ask

me: iwastheregandalf.gif which I can't find now but

okay anon buckle up because I am sadly well-equipped to answer this ask but before I do lemme tell you dark jon seducing edmure to take revenge on cat is LITERALLY THE BEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD but *clears throat* ALL RIGHT THEN.

disclaimer: as anon says I have no issue with like the shippers mentioned by anon in the beginning and ngl I agree, I have ABSOLUTELY ZERO FUCKING STAKES in the j*nsa vs j*nerys war and the only het jon ship I gaf about is jon/ygritte and we all know where that ended up I just... have been here since 2011/adwd was over and all the fic around was just for the books under secret lj communities and asoiaf qualified for yuletide and I have... seen... things.... and I actually have like uh had... beef... with some people in there and I know things bc ppl who hated those others told me stuff so anyway *sigh* buckle up anon I'mma tell you the story of jon shipwars through the years

in order, the old gods help me here, under the cut bc this is long as fuck

when I got into fandom also given what numbers were on ao3 one ship was popular and it was sansan. no like sansan was lit. the only asoiaf ship on ao3 with more than 200 fics. jb had twenty when i checked first. jc had like around 100-ish because of the show but sansan dwarfed anything. I posted the first jon/ygritte fic on the ao3 tag and the fourth throbb fic and like the others were all reposts from lj kinkmemes. nothing was popular before the show except for sansan when it comes to huge numbers bc grrm doesn't like fic and it was all hush hush until the show made it impossible to control and that ship was the one with a huge enough fanbase it actually had numbers, so like... j*nsa wasn't popular in the way nothing else was popular until it got screentime on the show

now, that stated, j*nsa had a... fair amount of fic for a rareship which was mostly book-based and from og shippers that were there from before the show and liked it for what it was but literally none of them thought it was gonna be canon, like it wasn't huge or anything but it had a small but dedicated fanbase who did their own thing and thought it was fun/liked the idea but that was it

that fandom had their own niche of hcs that they cultivated and shit except that like... at the end of S5/beginning of S6 there was a surge in shipping for... well obvious reasons bc it was obv sansa was getting to the wall and that would have been all nice and good but a) it was the time puritanical shipping was starting to take root and the 'shipping sansa with sandor or tyrion is hella problematic' rhetoric had started to circle coming from sans*ery shippers mostly but I'mma not open that fucking can of worms here, b) while the ending of S5 had more of a theon/sansa spike, the j*nsa stuff started getting big

now here we have to mention my villain origin story ie: j*nsa fandom had this one stan whose name I won't make because honestly it's been years and if she's still around I don't want her to remember I exist who was a bnf, wrote for... the website that created the whole larry/carol thing etc who was really fixed on this thing that j*nsa was actually canon and started writing extremely popular meta about it. now you're gonna ask how do you know, I know because this person once wrote a meta named 'why robb stark is a dick' and I told her that it was really fucking bad meta and she took it so badly she kept on trash talking me on her blog/her podcast (I was apparently the insane robb stark fangirl l m a o good lord) and like that was when some sane ppl who argued with her informed me in pvt that she was basically harping on the CANON thing when they'd have been okay with like... it being crackshipping and that she was basically cultivating a hoarde of followers who were harping on them/the ogs and basically ostracizing them;

I would like to add that this person - before her tumblr got 'accidentally deleted' and remade it therefore deleted most receipts for, er, her so-called meta which included stuff like ned and cat raised sansa as a sexual object and only wanted to sell her like cattle - had at some point started a round robin fic thing where... some of the characters mocked openly said stuff that some of the og fans had said specifically targeting them and people in that side basically went harassing anyone who didn't agree with that specific notion

now never mind that this person basically coined an entire term to describe ppl who liked white guys and excused all their wrongdoings out of my conversation re robb basically lying about everything I said as if I didn't have the receipts and tried to sell shirts with it and it didn't work and like then she got kicked out of her own website because she was telling her commenters disagreeing pretty shitty insults (considering I was called psychotic for disagreeing with her that time I don't doubt it) I think at some point she stepped back from fandom bc idk wtf she's up to these days and I don't want to, but basically at that point the dam was broken and there was a bunch of puritanical shippers harping on anyone who didn't agree with j*nsa is canon endgame stuff

this also includes an incident when those ppl were like... passing themselves as throbb shippers and ended up trying to tell t*hramsay shippers off the theon tag based on moral reasons and I ended up arguing with all of them (and they were all from that crowd) which in turn landed me in contact with other og j*nsa shippers who were like detached from that fandom bc those same people harassed them away as well ssooooo fun

anyway when S6 happened everyone was high on it and whatnot but I wasn't gonna begrudge them that I mean... you shipped it for years, canon is delivering you, good for you, but then j*nerys happened

god j*nerys happened

aaand basically...... I mean personally I was there like are y'all seriously arguing about the best incest jon ship out there but like basically the j*nsa endgame side was like AH JON IS PLAYING DANY SEE IF IT DOESN'T HAPPEN, the j*nerys obv got defensive af and both sides were sort of alternatively shitting on jon/ygritte anyway and depicting any other romantic rship jon could have as abusive™ and during S8 it just got worse and like I tried to stay out of it but basically from what I'm seeing now idk how the j*neryses are doing but on the j*nsa one it's ah jon's gonna play dany anyway and she's going to go insane like in the show so SHOW TRUTHING EVERY OTHER WAY and like again denying that sandor exists or that tyrion exists and like I barely touch my corner (sansan) but I ended up arguing with j*nsa/th*nsa people on twitter who were antis and is2g it was white-hair inducing and I know for sure the sansa/tyrion shippers were harassed to hell and back throughout so FUN

and even if the show didn't go there now since everyone there banked on the jnsa endgame thing and admitting you're wrong is like... not a thing, they still haven't let go of it and attach to that ship any shred of evidence which honestly is grasping at straws half of the time (like... the sansa/alysanne parallels like guys please no) and which is why every other ship is starting to get fed up, attaching canon proof of stuff from other ships onto theirs see that batb argument and jb is platonic but jonsa is not nvm taking all the sansan stuff and throwing it on j*nsa but then denying that sansan has canon evidence (like guys I had to read sansa touching his shoulder when saying gregor wasn't a true knight wasn't meaningful and we were seeing things please) and blah blah blah

this also goes hand in hand with the fixation on like... villanizing dany at all costs and like is2g I have zero investment in dany or her storyline I don't even remember it and I don't particularly care abt her either way and sure af I'm not for j*nerys endgame but like.... some stuff I read is completely excessive esp when fixing on how she's a completely mad tyrant who's gonna have to be put down and like... guys no

(also there's some srs stannis hate in that corner which I honestly don't get why they even care abt stannis but I had to read stuff like ppl don't recognize that dany and stannis are the real villains in this saga and like........ idek)

I think most of the og shippers are gone or don't ship it openly bc they don't want to be attached to the drama but like I also think they're pissing off everyone else bc like... I mean a bunch of them also were down with sansa being paired with other ppl as long as it meant a good ending for her except those ppl were... like everyone but the ppl she has actual contact with in canon which meant that at some point sansa/gendry was a thing and like.... you can imagine why arya/gendry shippers & arya stans were fed up, and there's also this tendency to behave like sansa is the center of the entire saga which like these books is named a song of jon snow basically can we pls make peace with it and personally I've had it with both j*nsa and j*nerys people since they started with that dumbass JON/YGRITTE WAS AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP rhetoric but I'm also fed up with the total ignoring that sandor exists/depicting us as delusional and honestly I also was by proxy fed up from the harassing of the sansa/tyrion shippers soooooooooooo

there were also instances of 'well theon is an acceptable choice other than jon bc he can't threaten her' which... i mean we all know what that meant and I'm not even commenting it bc it's one AM and I have no force to but I don't have to explain why it's not a progressive take now do I

there were also metas about how cousin incest being legal in half of the world means that jondany is a worse incest and j*nsa doesn't count as such and I was basically there like guys please just fucking own up to it but honestly I chose to forgot where I read that and I couldn't find the link if I tried

tldr: no one wants to admit that it's not gonna be endgame which considering the amount of fic they have on ao3 is imvho useless bc they have more content than like.. anything I ship that's not jb or that's actually like canon *cries in joncon/rhaegar but I mean renly/loras is canon and has less fic than them* so idk what's the problem with enjoying that instead of insisting it's gonna be canon when not even the show validated it while show truthing anyway when the only show truthing that can be truthed is the small council made of minorities and possibly jon eventually fucking off with the wildlings but not like that but like most people who thought it wasn't gonna be endgame had left/were made to leave by the time S7 rolled by and at this point since wow isn't out yet everyone is fandom-grasping at straws to find stuff to discourse on and we're here beating dead horses *shrug*

so that's... how it is but I would again like to point out that I don't judge ppl on their shipping, I don't particularly care about this entire feud bc I only ship jon with ppl he's not related to in whichever way and I try to stay out of this mess bc I don't really care to argue with ppl who have already decided to bend canon to whatever they want and will have to realize that it's not what grrm wrote at some point but like I have a very good memory and the above rant is as objective as possible also bc again I don't literally have a stake in that race I just think romantic/endgame j*nsa is not a thing and that ppl should stay in their lane and not harping on other ppl who ship whatever in general but especially when their ship is the most popular thing in fandom in the first place /two cents

[gopeachllama]

Why I think Feysand were OOC in ACOSF

I hope that no one misunderstands from the title but let me say this is a 100% PROfeysand post. so if you hated feysand even before acosf, then this post isn't for you.

So i've seen a lot of interesting theories about feysand's and in particular rhys' behaviour and choices throughout acosf. and while alot of them seemed possible and may have been the case canonically speaking, even as a feysand stan i just couldn't seem to wrap my head around some of the things they said and did in the book. they just both seem OOC, its the only pausible explanation for me.

To understand why feysand were OOC in the book we have to look at this through a narrative perspective. as in we have to ask why would the author write the character/s in this way?

a quick overview of what a character arc is

so there can be a lot of variations of a character arc in a story but the basics is as follows (how does the character go from point 'a' to point 'b'):

the 'big lie' - the views/beliefs/actions the character has at the start which will be challenged throughout the story (this is point 'a')

the 'incident' - a plot point in which starts development of the character. something that spurs the character into action, this most ofter happens when they are placed in an unfamiliar situation. this usuallyy is the intial challenge to their 'big lie'. at this point the story will move forward and theres no going back.

the midpoint - the character changes conciously or subconciously, they start to recognise their own flaws in the 'big lie'.

world collaspes - this is usually on the heels of a victory, the character reaches the lowest point in their journey. they finally confront 'the big lie' and forces to stop this deception they inflict on themselves. they can destroy it or it will destroy them.

the climax - the reason for the story. the reason why the character had to take this journey in order to get to this moment. the moment that the character will decide once and for all whether they will go forward to point 'b' or regress back to point 'a'

the resolution - the character reaches point 'b'. their view/beliefs/actions have changed, they no longer believe in the 'big lie'.

So obvisouly the main character in acosf is Nesta. What sjm does in her books is that every plot point and development of secondary characters is in service to the arc of the main character. None of the character's outside of Nesta have their own development. Not even Cassian, any sort of changes or developments he undergoes is in service to Nesta (a complete missed opportunity for Cassian but that a whole other point). And before anyone tries to say otherwise, you can have development for characters even if they are secondary ones (and for a book that is 800+ pages long it is definitely possible). An example is with his can also be seen with Gwyn. Her leaving the library for the first time was a huge moment for the character, but she did so, in order to comfort Nesta after her big fight with Cassian. It was also so that Nesta, Gwyn and Emerie could all be together in Illyria so they could be kidnapped and forced to enter the blood rite (where the final showdown occurs with Nesta and the villan).

so what has this got to do with feysand and why are they OOC?

In fact the entire plot with feyre's pregnancy was made to give chracter developments for Nesta. There was nothing written in the book that suggested any developments for feyre and rhys. it did nothing for them. Nesta needed to become central to the story and the only way sjm thought to keep feyre side lined was to make her pregrnant. It was also just lazy writing and world building bc there is no way that rhys would have though of this when he and feyre were trying for a baby.

SIN #1 The Shields

Rhys practicing shields (shield thats doesn't even allow anyone to even touch her) on feyre, which she just allows. the book explains because of the fact that there is more danger to her now that she's pregnant. Narratively, this would make sense if there is a payoff. Like later in the story if feyre was in physical danger and the shield saves her or if the shield became a detriment to her in some way. But no nothing like this happens. Rhys 'practices' the shield on her and thats it. Rhys, who was the same person that trusted feyre enough defend herself against the weaver. It was totally out of character that he would shield her to the point that Cassian can't even kiss her on the cheek (sounds familiar huh). and the same goes for feyre, who has no problem with this (*cough* tamlin locking her up *cough*). Thats is some OOC behaviour.

So what were the point of the shields? well since sjm made it canon that fae can smell when a female is pregnant, the biggest way they came into play was in the scene when rhys lifted it long enough so that everyone could sense that that feyre was pregnant. And It could have been just that, feyre and rhys were expecting a baby, and Nesta can go along with her development, they did not need to intersect. But it did, and we'll come back to that later. This scene is a lighthearted moment in the book, one of the rare few where all the characters are happy and celebrating a good thing. acofas we knew that rhys and feyre decided to try for a baby, and seeing it pay off here was enjoyable for the readers.

But what else does this scene do? through Nesta's perspective, we can read her thoughts on it, and though she doesn't reveal much its an important character moment for her. the readers can see that she can feel happiness for someone else beyond the self-loathing she guards herself with, it shows that she is a character worth rooting for.

SIN #2 Rhys concealing the dangers of the pregnancy from feyre

oof this one is a doosey. this was the most baffling thing to come out of acosf for me. there is literally no reason or explanation that would make sense for rhys to lie to feyre like that. It offers no development for the two character it affects the most: rhys and feyre. there no fallout on rhys' end for lying to her, and there is no turmoil for feyre such as falling into depair like we told she would (the whole reason that rhys was hiding it in the first place).

When Nesta finds out that the pregnancy was most likely going to kill feyre and the baby. instead of Nesta disagreeing and urging Rhys to tell feyre, she doesn't say anything and forms a temporary truce with him, a character she has always had conflict with. It also serves as the incident that allows Nesta to have her 'world collapse' moment in her character arc. How else was Nesta going to realise what a shitty person is was being if she didn't do something so absolutely shitty? in a fit of rage, Nesta reveals to feyre that the pregnancy was going to kill both her and the baby. she get taken away on a hike in illyria (because???) and she reaches rock bottom after she comes to term with what she did. the story is taken away from velaris and the inner circle, and any conflict and resolution that happens between feyre and rhys, if it even happened at all, happens off page. again furthering my point about the pregnancy having no impact on the two characters is affects the most. After Nesta's fleeting moment of enlightenment, and her swordplay sex marathon with Cassian (urgh) she returns to velaris and nothing has changed between rhys and feyre. there isn't really much of a development with Nesta's relationship with feyre, their 'reconciliation' occurs all of less than one page and doesn't even happen out loud, just mind to mind. Now that Nesta has had her important character moment, nothing else matters (again lazy writing).

SIN #3 Everyone dies

ok so yes everyone has said their two cents about this and i agree with it. Feyre and nyx had to die so that Nesta could have her climax moment. It is the climax of the story since it is the big story development right before the resolution. and about the bargain - feysand decided in acofas that they were going to try for a baby. meaning that it was after this decision that they struck the bargain that they would die together. so at some point they would have thought of the fact they would have a child/children when the both die. im sorry but do they seem like the kind of ppl that would make a suicide pact even if it meant leaving their children behind? TOTALLY OOC for me. and i dont know i guess also the stakes weren't high enough with just the threat of feyre and nyx dying.

So feyre and nyx are dead and rhys will soon follow and Nesta intervenes to save them. Its also a self-sacrificing moment bc she has to give up her powers in order to do this... Showing that she does truely love her family and the depths of her powers. (seriously idc how you stan or hate how does anyone this good book?). don't doubt that in the future books sjm will find a way for Nesta to get her powers back (whatever they are (pure death WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???))

So Nesta saves the day, everyone is fine and nothing has changed except Nesta is nice now probably. the end.

welp this got way longer that i expected but anyways long story short there was nothing about the pregnancy that gave development to feysand characters and it was all for the development of the main character.

i don't claim acosf!feysand and sjm better fucking leave them alone in the rest of the books.

[icecreamkink]

watched all of the untamed / cql in two weeks after my friend 1 told me abt mdzs a hundred years ago and my friends 2 and 3 tried to get me into cql for like two whole years and there are.

feelings.

very first scene is a very dramatic death in the middle of nightmare battle on sith planet land . i will forget abt it in the next tenish episodes and then will be very surprised when it becomes Extremely Painful

anyway magic flying gays and possession and human sacrifice! we are off to a great start

in retrospect, chaos goblin wei wuxian must have had a blast pretending to be so cRaZy and be as disruptive as he could as mo xuanyu lbr

listen. why is fire always evil coded. cant a magic clan wear red, black and orange and have flame motif while being wholesome?

For Legal Reasons These Are Not Zombies

i wish the politics of the sect were a bit clearer, especially at the beggining when the wen clan had sm power, was wen ruohan the chief cultivator? is that why they were so slow in responding to the attacks? im v confused by the pre yiling patriarch politics

fighting in the roof by the moonlight as way of flirtiiiiiiing. as i understand this is a wuxia/xianxia trope and honestly...... thank u for ur service

slight bullying and being a nuisance in general, as a way of flirting we love to see it

wwx: if i drink on the rooftop, thats not inside the cloud recesses! hmmm check and mate :D lwj: i will fuck u up so help me god   wwx: :0

i lov them

through hell or high water (quite literally) wei wuxian rem ains a trashfire gremlin till the end and i love him with my whole heart

in the pt subs wei wuxian calls jiang cheng a stubborn duck and i dearly wish that had come back

my opinions on almost every character goes from love to hate u - Hmm Me Like U - BABY. ILY. and i am Very Pleased w that. its been a while since i loved such a complete cast so much i think

no really. i WONT go into a detailed rant abt what i love about each of these characters and each of their relationships to each other. but i COULD. 

some lan disciples in the loudest whisper ever: YEAH THATS THE JIN BASTARD MENG YAO HEARD THE GOT SUPER HUMILIATED BY HIS DAD LOL SURE HOPE HE DOESNT TAKE SLIGHTS TO HIS CHARACTER TO HEART

lan xichen, immediately: i must Love him 

being into problematic ppl is in the Lan genetics, we come to realize

wen qing deserves so many awards for so many things but not snapping and just stabbing wen chao is at the top 

that scene at lan qirens class where wwx talks about using resentful energy to fight a violent spirit. exquisite.

 It establishes Good Student lan wangji, wei wuxian as curious and questioning and not afraid of taboo,  lwj sees that wwx is not, in fact, a dumb ass hes just a Dumbass,  shows us the audience (esp. a western audience) how shocking the idea of disrupting the dead/dying and controlling resentful energy actually is,  the theoretical foreshadow arguing, everyone else like ‘shUT UP’,  “and how could you ensure that the resentful energy would obey you and not hurt other?” “well i havent thought that far” and of course, lan qiren just straight up lobbing a hard object at wwx head,. chefs kiss

fellas is it gay to bother the hot rule obessessed nerd from ur school and make drawings of him with flowers in his hair and then hide gay porn in his book to antagonize him and ask him to hold ur hand and be ur friend and talk to him all the time and get him drunk and give him bunnies bc you know he likes them and give him a lantern and always want his attention and dedicate yourself to getting him to smile-

and after all of that wwx rly said oh i Admire him, aksd like yeah we all were there in high school buddy

i have Learned. caves = gay.

 accidental marriage +beint physically tied together with the sacred married ribbon+ gay panic+foreshadowing+bunnies! in the cave (1)

the story abt lan yi and baoshan sanren tho. i would like to see it

early days wen bros pull my heart strings like a guqin 

EVERYTHING about the lantern scene; disaster hets jiang yanli and jin zixuan; how wwx made lwj a bunny lantern. how soft and touched lwj was. wwx gleefully pointing out he was smiling and lwj IMMEDIATELY PULLING HIW SWORD ON HIM LMAO. tragically foreshadowy promises to do right by pepople, living without regrets. lwjs 'oh no do i love him??' face. just. all of it. 

i have it on good acc that in the novel lwj is explicitly Repressed Gay Panicked Big Horny which is delightful and rly Adds to the performance

 baby lwj is really just conceal dont feel dont let them know u have EMOTIONS (derogatory)

jiang cheng rly went "why dont.u go play with HIM if u like him so much"

jc and wwx have big BIG annoying sibling energy dont think too hard abt it or youll cry

lotus pier is soo pretty :((((((((((((((((

up until episode 13 you could think this could be a magical ancient chinese gays pride n prejudice w swords and shenanigans ................youre just not prepared for the game of thrones of it all

seriously ha ha ha i cried so much w this show my eyes genuinely swelled up . like. physically. fun timez fun timez

that being said, its hilarious that wen xu goes to cloud recesses like 'come out or ill kill all these hostages' and then DOESNT WAIT FOR AN ASWER AND KILLS THEM ALL IMMEDIATELY. do u know how blackmail works sir

 would like to make it recorded that from day one i was like 'CALL A GODDAMN CULTIVATION G20 THIS ASSHOLE SECT IS LITERALLY MASSACRING YALL!!' and it took them like 3 or 4 massacres to do anything and they STILL sent their heirs into their territory  LIKE

when wwx cites the gusu lan rules to wen chao tho. that rebel/attention whore/cutie pie 'look lan zhan i DID memorize the rules after all' ‘also a big fuck you to the wen sect :D :D’ sweet spot that scene achieves . delicious

all the cultivator young masters being petty af even though they are practically prisoners at the cave is hilarious and i love them

hurt and comfort + gay mistunderstandings + watsonian gay declaration music + accidental evil acquisition! at the cave (2)

its like where do i start? the fact theyre both trapped and kind of heavily injured inside an isolated cave with a murder turtle? wwx gay panicking lwj into coughing up bad blood? lwj being jealous as wwx babbles abt mianmian? telling him he shouldnt play with people and wwx saying he never played him? wwx going Oh. I See what is happening. YOU like mianmian, and lwj absolute done face ??? (iconic) wwx touching the sacred married ribbon Again? the telepathic communication? the sword? WEI WUXIAN ASKING LAN WANGJI TO SING TO HIM AS HE IS PASSING OUT AND LWJ SINGING HIM. THE SONG. HE WROTE. FOR WWX. AND THAT HE CALLED. THEIR SHIP NAME????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

they are SO insufferable pleeeeease

in the words of my friend 1 : “CQL is so gay we were all amazed how it got past the censors Ofc unfortunately it can't be novel level gay But they did their best And we love them for it”

in the theme of songs THIS OST. WUJI HAS BEEN LIVING IN MY MIND RENT FREE SINCE I FIRST HEARD IT the whole ost is so so sO beautiful.

 the costuming in this is also soooo exquisite. the embroidery? the fabrics? the details? how every sect and clan has a distinct style and architecture? (also ik they based each off of dif periods in chinese history which is REALLY fucking cool) just chefs kiss

the direction too!. i enjoy the unusual camera movements and i think they give it that Vibe, also their composition is PARTICULARLY good when it comes to telling the subtext through position of camera/position of character (like nhs off to the side in scenes he at first glance doesnt need to be/ how lwj is often centered when hes Jealous Yearning at wwx being affectionate w other ppl, wwx return from burial mounds etc)

ik madam yu is like Badass Milf Check and shes not getting any mom of the year awards but im delighted at how messy she is. IMAGINE that woman on tiktok

you better have enjoyed gay cave (2) bc its Just Pain from here on out! 

jiang fengmian and madame yu win the Most Dramatic Way to show they do care about each other, actually ..... ever :)

i thought jiang yanli jiang cheng and wei wuxian forcing themselves to escape yunmeng barely holding on after their parents are killed was going to be the height of pain in this show. ha. 

the family dynamics in general on this showwwww, both blood/ adopted/ found families, brotherly bonds and lifelong friendships just. rly. truly. fucked me up. theyre all so important and complicated and well rounded and beautiful and tragic

and beyond being a Win For the Gays im so glad the relationships w wwx and jiang yanli/ wen qing were NOT changed from platonic bc they are so much better like that imo. like maybe if we didnt Live In A Society it wouldnt be so, but the fact wwx and others can love and value them so much and theres nothing romantic or sexual abt it is like. so refreshing. especially @ jyl, with the way he and jc are overprotective of her and shes such a nurturing/care taker figure for them, it would just not vibe as well if they made it romantic

i love that this is a story abt Wei Wuxian, the Yiling Patriarch aka Actual Satan/Boogey Man/Village With/Public Enemy Number One , my dude is literally a necromancer who only dresses in black and has evil smokey black tendrils wafting out of him, but the really edgy one is still jiang cheng, pastel purple fashion icon

and speaking of best/worst siblings wei wuxian and jiang cheng *immediately starts crying* 

The Golden Core Transfer i just. no thots only tears 

wen qing and wen ning putting themselves in so much danger just.... to help them. wn saving jc from wen chao. wq finding a way to get wwx to transfer his core. like thinking about the monumental work these two did to help wwx and jyl and jc... jyl trying so fucking hard to be strong and keep on moving and giver her little brothers comfort after losing everything... jiang cheng. losing his parents and his home and his ability to do anything abt it and his complete desperation and lack of self worth and turning on them with agression  when he didnt realize all that they did for him ... hhhhhhhhhhhhh

me, pointing at the whole cast “i just LOVE them mom!!!”

its sad tho, that BARELY ANY of the women have like.... actual important conversations let alone relationships with each other at all in the story. and like wq and jyl have stayed at the same place for extended periods of time, where wq actively took care of her TWICE,  and still! not one measly convo, nothing! ................ .𝓌ₕᵧ

everyone in this show need a good sip of Self Worth and Stop Sacrificing Yourself juice 

ngl the sword flying looks very dumb 

“a-cheng, please bring a-xian back.” “i will, i promise.” ;-;

the whole calling each other by the More Intimate Version of the name, first as teasing and later as true intimacy. mmmhmmm yes

untamed where everythings the same but wwx evil flute song is eoeo

related that scene when wwx comes back from the burial mounds for the first time w demonic cultivation and he acts all formal and calls lwj hanguang-jun and keeps being evasive and distant and mean and soooooo................. facetious 

and how hes kind of desperately trying to keep intense lwj at bay (A FIRST) and avoiding actually talking to either of them and its all tension ughhh and then he MOCKS his and lwjs relationship, he jokes w him in this like... mean echo of their usual ~banter~ oof 

 and like!!! uncertain but so relieved jc who just HUGS him w no reservations for once and its not like he isnt just as worried as lwj abt wwx and what hes doing, but he chooses in that moment to enjoy getting him back first and mmhmMMMmMm yes (maybe my favorite scene in the whole show? MAYBE SO. ) 

highkey hurt me but also. i might be into mean wwx. i will take no criticism.

lan zhans sad eyes tho :((((((((( 

on one hand i wish we could have seen what happened at the burial mounds but on the other the timeskip adds so much flair to his return so im hnnn

also i love that hes been missing for 3 months reappears kinda melancholic and bloodthirsty and knowing malign tricks and jc is like 'so. are u sad bc of lan wangji'

when ur bae survived the war but he thinks ur evil/ might be evil so you cant kiss :///

hmmm talking at the rooftop under the moonlight not mentioning everything that stands between usssss

they are the two jades of lan and we’ll be the two heroes of yunmeng is the type of line u dont even need to know whats gonna happen to know thats gonna be sad

when they fight wen ruoshan at the nightless city i thought that was the battle we see at the first ep and its not and its so easy and theyre all like ‘yayy we won go wwx!’ i was just. SCREAMS WHAT is gonna HAPPEN

so like. post burial mounds/sunshot campaign pre yiling patriarch wwx is like. ultra arrogant, ultra mocking, peak lil shit and it gave me e v e r y t h i n g i wanted

even tho having the wen prisoners at the targets at phoenix mountain and still having wwx and jzx shooting the arrows was???? so.... tone deaf 

wwx: fucking w demonic energy   jyl: he has never done anything wrong in his life, ever <3 <3 (mood)

the parallels between meng yao/wei wuxian (and even xue yang a bit?) are Seen and they are Valid

wwx post burial mounds: can yall SHUT UP abt the goddamn sword (suibian left the chat)

LIKE truly, we talk abt the angst and yearning with wangxian. but what abt wwx and suibian. xianbian / xianqing angst and comfort 100k

take a shot everytime someone coughs up blood

zidian is simply the coolest spiritual weapon rip to suibian and chenqing and bichen and sendou and baixa........ but tis the truth 

cons: everyones families died in a nightmare war! everyones homes burned to the ground! everyone is traumatized! pros: everyone gets cooler clothes and weapons!!

wen ning and a-yuan and yanli bestest babes squad dont touch me rn

everyone: brooding and fighting                                                                wq and jyl: why dont you try some acupunture/drinking some soup and calm down huh? how abt that bitch?? 

showing the battle/massacre at the nightless city first was genius actually bc then everytime we have a cute scene w yunmeng bros and theyre like 'we'll be together forever! uwu' youre like oh. oh no. oh no no no. 

justice vs lawfulness vs means and ends 👁

jc: stay in the right path and practice the art of the sword                        wx: yeah thats not gonna happen chief

my reaction to wwx renouncing to the sect politics to help the wens was just that elmo burning gif in succession

the dramatic rain. wen qing desperately calling out to wen ning. the ghosts/puppets killing the guards. how terrifying wn actually was while wwx was controlling him :( lwj goeing after him to try and stop him and then he just; he Sees him and understands him even if he cant actually do anything about it other than let them go. 

“there must be somewhere in this earth we can go to :(((((((((”

"IF I HAVE TO FIGHT THEM, I'D RATHER IT BE YOU. DYING BY YOUR HANDS WOULD AT LEAST BE WORTH IT." oh my god oh my god oh my goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooddddddd

also lwjs umbrella is white w black smoke.. .  . nice

yiling patriarch / demonic farming burial mounds settlement is like one of my favorite concepts. they an "EVIL" FARMING COMMUNITY LED BY THE VILLAGE WITCH COME ON

they planted TURNIPS and LOTUS FLOWERS and ONE (1) baby and made lanterns and a common hall :(((((((

wen qing and wei wuxian, baddest bitches and genius science best friends i absolutely LOVED to see it. they rly went ‘is anyone gonna sibling/project partner that’ and didnt wait for an answer

both wwx and jyl getting lotus ponds at the burial mounds and in lanling bc they miss lotus pier ;;;;;;;w

;;;;; wish jyl had actually gone into the burial mounds. we were robbed of jyl and wq meeting again and jyl meeting a-yuan and seeing the settlement and the homes and all ;w; at least jc did go, stab wounds and broken arms and all

wwx like... having thrown his whole life away to help the wens (yeah the sect leaders and jin guangshan in particular wanting his stygian tiger amulet was an Element but still) and not.... necessarily regretting it, but grappling with all of the consequences of it... becoming moody and drepressed at times, missing his family and lotus pier and his friends and probably simply missing being around people and causing trouble, extrovert that he is, lashing out at the wens and at a-yuan, just in general the whole messiness of that experience

the way the resentful energy does affect his temperament is rly nice bc its not too in your face,(i mean outside of the Shaky Hands of Rage) but like he clearly has a much lesser control on his anger and impulsivity (tall order) than both before bm and after hes ressurected

on that note A-YUAN BABIEST BABY BOY BEST BOY

lan zhan being like oh hey there wei ying fancy meeting u and our son here. just passing by u know how it is hmmmmMm and then PLOT TWIST having defied orders to go see him and being punished for it. oof;;

 they habent seen each other in like? a year? and now theyre tgt 10 seconds and are already parenting a child together

also lwj rly kneels down in the snow way too much to be healthy

wwx: calm down guyssss i wont lose control of demonic cultivation omgggg  .   spoiler alert: he loses control of demonic cultivation

did u enjoy cute children? good bc now the Real Pain Begins

jiang yanli and jin zixuan rly out there APROPRIATING both disaster gays AND bury ur gays huh ;w;

i KNEW jin lings birthday was gonna fuck something up but the GASP that left my body when wwx lost control of wn and killed jin zixuan .. . . 

im sorry and thank you aaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAaAAAAA 

when wen ning and wen qing were telling wwx their plan i was saying NO NO NO NO NO NO out loud in despair 

also can we talk abt how wq is definetely talking about only the both of them surrending themselves but then? everyone else just surrenders w them? IT MAKES NO SENSE LIKE WHY WOULD THEY what would be the Point

 sometimes there are some pretty gaping jumps in logic and continuity that are just like                     ?          ?

wwx: oh so when you try to murder me its justified but when i survive through dark magic and murder all of you its a "war crime"

unsurprisingly, his most feral, most spiraling moment talking to the sect leaders on the roof and attacking them and even fighting lan zhan is among my favorite scenes... its like, so painful to watch but also   so       thrilling   (and maybe my wen bbs dying arose some resentful energy in me what can i say) 

and its JUST, all they ever wanted was to do good but then... war. and trauma. and hubris. 

jiang cheng on the ground clearly thorn between what to do and feel is a Mood, lets just say

i was already crying when jyl showed up, but if i wasnt-

 i suffered SO MUCH through this series trying to figure out WHY jc would kill wwx. and when i understood. its somehow not as bad as i thought and also MUCH MUCH WORSE

a look into my group chat during the last flashback episodes:

SO ANYWAY. after the BLOOD BATH and RIPPING YOUR HEART OUT and FEEDING IT TO YOU  the untamed goes ‘ayy back to the present!! tu du dud ud du’ 

literally it ends a quarter into an episode and then KEEPS GOING i had to pause and stare blankly at the ceiling for an hour

babie cultivators and detective soulmates . i do need some cute after All of That 

(not that the pain is over LOL)

lwj is significantly less emotionally repressed in the present and its delightful. hes just ALL IN with wwx. and not just in the ‘i would and have killed various men and risked my reputation for you’ but also ‘ur tired here have a drink i brought it up cause i know u like it and it want you to be happy, always’

“when everyone praised me and wanted my power, you were the only one that challenged me. now that everyone hates me and wants me dead, youre the only one that stands by my side.” hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnn 

and just filling in the blanks how lan zhan searched for him. for all of those 16 years he searched for him and was punished for it and raised a-yuan, the only survivor of the burial mounds settlement, as his own in gusu......

and jiang cheng.  being the tough love uncle . having raised the yunmeng jiang clan from the rubble all alone, his whole family dead, some of it on the blame of his own brother, his siblings, his closest friends gone.......and only jin ling there needing his guidance. 

THE PARALLEL BETWEEN JIN LING BEING A LIFELINE FOR JIANG CHENG AND A-YUAN FOR LAN WANGJI AFTER THE BATTLE AT THE NIGHTLESS CITY  

great now i made myself sad

and like . the fact! that lwj and jc dislike each other!!. jc projects blame onto him for wwx both “leaving” him and indirectly causing their families deaths and when hes so consumed by it he makes wwx an enemy, lwj is there now? trying to protect him?? and lwj, who can never understand the pain that wwx , indirectly or not put jc through, but who was right there when jc tried to kill him and will never allow him to hurt wwx again. and how they like. in a way project blame of their tragedies onto each other while dealing with some type of survivor guilt and in their own way still loving wwx through it all???  amd in way its kind of fundamentally selfish but also tragically understandable? and like when u put it against the fact that after he disappears during the sunshot campaign they were looking for him together and fought together??

JUST. THE CHARACTERS. AND THE RELATIONSHIPS IN THIS. MAN. UGH. GOD. 

and like i think thats what makes it so good? its such a sad and painful and violent story, edgy even, but its compelling bc at the center of it there are all of these relationships and different types of love and hope and. :( i love it

enough crying lets talk abt wwx sleeping at the jingshi with lwj and wearing his under garment for a minute 🙏

 jin ling just has that Was Raised by JC energy tho lmao i love him

babie cultivator squad is the perfect ammount of cute and comedic relief while still bearing the weight? of the narrative in a way, both from sizhui and jin lings existences, and also. like. how do i put this. they feel hopeful? they were born after a war, they came of age at a time of relative peace, they dont hold on so closely to the resentments of their parents/father figures, they are specifically shown as more accepting and open minded. and its like.... Hope for the future  

one of the ?? things  i love the most is the fact that the main cast are often in situations where theyre hunted/running but they like. never wear disguises... just going around in their gorgeous expensive clan clothes and hair ornaments and distinctive spiritual weapons.... maybe w a straw hat on, just for kicks

wwx teacher 🥺🥺🥺

so this is why its called Yi City Misery huh

a-qing is such. an icon. im so sad. my girl even knew to leave xys dumb self rotting by the road but no one listens to her thats why theyre all dead or sad 

her and xue yang measuring each other up was so entertaining lmao

 its the funniest thing when hes like. HERES MY SAD STORY. FOR WHY IM A SADISTIC MURDERER. I BROKE MY HAND ONCE. 

like ok someone broke his hand in a horrible way, and like Poverty, i get it but also like.......... that lost the brunt of a proper sob story like, 50 sadistic murders ago bby

and i love that xingchen does not entertain that for a second hes like ‘not ?????? good enough???’ and the best thing is he wasnt even like 'u hadto be the bigger person' or sth but ' well then break that dudes hand back, rip his arm off for i care, what do the rest of us have to do w anything???” 

anjo sensato :(

xue yang is like..... the sexy sadistic evil version of a himbo..... a meanbo...

the fucked upness of xy’s feelings for xxc/ xxc and sl feelings for each other... like my dude literally gave his bf HIS EYES. and xy getting so attached to xxc .... the fucked up fake domesticity.... having him hurt sl..... then desperately trying to bring him back ...................... oof

song lan........... literally had his eyes AND tongue removed, his bfs eyes put in place, was almost killed, turned into a puppet by his bf unknowingly, manipulated by xy, sees his bf killing himself in despair.... and STILL finds the strenght to get up from there, and keep on traveling and helping people and attempting to fix xxcs soul.......... like, my man. damn. 

wangxian looking at songxiao and seeing an Actually more painful parallel for themselves. ft. that Color Coding. 

THE A-YUAN/SIZHUI REVEAL PUNCHED ME IN THE HEART but in a good way for a change

should have know that he would be the Best Boy the cute one w all the braincells

the butterfly AND the bunny lantern. i see how it is

u know is very convenient that no one can see the stark black veins on wen nings neck, ever 

BAT WEN NING 

wns face when lwj comes into wwx room like ‘:0 omg did u two finally get your shit together? good for you master wei good for u’ 

(they didnt) (yet)

DISASTER DRUNK LWJ. JUST. THRUST SOME CHICKENS TO SHOW UR RESSURECTED BAE THAT U LOVE THEM.

i have absolutely no idea WHY they gave lwj the same punishment for fighting his own sect/allies to protect the burial mounds as when they got drunk on cloud recess class days.... like? its such a ... emotional continuity error again

also is lwj gonna get an actual friend besides wwx , ever

mianmian marrying and having a family and a cute life after saying FUCK U AND UR SYSTEM TOO in a much less unhinged and dramatic way than wwx......... fills me w joy

also lol the idea that like. her husband not knowing that shes friends w satan/the boogey man/the village witch is hilarious

i love nie mingjue bc hes the resident Though Guy but also the most dramatic bitch in this show and thats Saying Something

jin ling cant have one uneventful relative can he

the fact that everyone present already knew “mo xuanyu” was wwx at the stairs is so funny, their faces are like ‘oh............ wow. that. sure is a development. shock” 

in the tradition of extremely loud whispers wwx tells lwj with twelve guards standing like one meter away from them: HEY PSH LAN ZHAN PRETEND IM FORCING YOU TO STAY W ME DO IT

oh my god oh my god

the absolute Yearning on his face when he leaves wwx and a-yuan at the burial mounds and refuses to stay for dinner was already Enough but the fact?? they brought it back?? to this declaration of love?? their expressions??????? strike me dead right now just go ahead

lFor Legal Reasons We Cant Kiss but we will have a very sappy declaration of love and trust and look at each other in way that is the actualization of 💞💘💗💖💓💘💞💗💖💘💗💖💕💞

also icb all the sect leaders and guards are standing there watching them say they like like each other with a dozen swords pointing at their neck

i enjoyed the depiction of the fickle public perception and how easily it can be used to scapegoat people. when the sect leaders turn on jgy and wwx knows thats its more for convenience than anything else...

poor lxc is literally like 'oh so when YOUR problematic boyfriend gets called evil its a misunderstanding but when its MY problematic bf-'

ok like i cant get over nmj let jgy play a song that messed with his temperament at all, like maN u KNEW he might be shady wth

wwx: “hey dont say anything bad abt lan zhan hes not an arrogant dick, thats just his face. 

ME ON THE OTHER HAND"

the cultivators as wwx is poking holes in their narrative is literally *nazaré meme*

"wei wuxian-!" "what did i break your leg, too?" not to be problematic but i laughed so hard

not as hard as "you dont have the rank to talk to me " tho

i Enjoy that, over the course of story, wwx sees that... theres nothing truly to Do, but move on. he saw how his arrogance and his mistakes hurt others, and hes trying to fix what he can, but he already did die for his mistakes and there are things he cant fix and that's. just how it is. even towards jgy, the narrative doesn't go gleefully and completely with "lets make THEM pay bc theyre the big bad" bc its not that simple, and it wouldn't lead anywhere but more pain...

re him and jiang cheng and the wens and kinda. isnt that what nhs did? scheming to displace jgy out of revenge more than any justice and doing so in the most painful way?

idk if that actually makes sense im truly just babbling

i thought the scene at the lotus pond would be CUTE but the context was PAIN again

jiang cheng finding out about his golden core and his conflict with wwx at the guanyin temple .... destroyed me but in a nice way kinda.... same way it destroys him look at his face oh god

and. the fact??? he sacrificed himself for wwx?? first?? and he'll probably never tell anyone much less wwx???? keeps me up at night

i havent decided if the neckbreak transition between jgy does sth super Evil or does he he does OR Does He yes he does O R does heeeee is sth i dislike or not

jin guangyao and wei wuxians most interesting parallel is that... theyve both seen 'hmm hey this system is fucked up' and wwx went 'so fuck it all i will renounce it and challenge it' and jgy went 'so fuck it i will use all of it to my advantage and manipulate it to my goals and whims'

the fact jgys mom was actually great and he loved her and his whole issue w it was more than simply being ashamed of being a bastard kinda got me ngl

never trust a dude with a fan.

nhs and jgy: the first rule to a convoluted and decades spanning violent revenge plot is to have fun and be yourself! 

when a-yuan finally FINALLY remembers ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; wen ning has someone in his family back and a-yuan has someone to talk abt his wen family and wwx has him back bc he survived and lwj raised him anD HES THEIR SON. THEYRE MARRIED AND HAVE A SON. UGH.

and theyre allowed to heal. everyone is allowed to try and recover and be happy

netflix put all of the 3 endings on top of each other and it looks kinda weird actually BUT I DONT EVEN MIND :’’’’’’’’’)

the gasp that left me when lwj says ‘wei ying’ and wwx turns.........

there was also a screen with ‘thank you mxtx for creating these characters, we hope their wishes come true’ and i might. have cried then too. maybe. 

that was . a ride. as is proven by this behemot of a ramble clearly i just really needed and Outlet. i am currently trying to convince dumb monkey brain to not consume the other medias of mdzs immediately bc i REALLY need to like. live. a life. and take care of real responsibilities.  *longest oh boi ever*

[cirkkaa]

I'm going to ramble a about something that bothers me a bit about rayemma so if you're not in for me being overly invested in fictional characters, this is your cue to not read this lol. Also I might sound like I'm taking it too seriously, but it's just me talking out loud, dw. I'm drinking coffee as I write :)

This contains manga spoilers!

I've already vented a little on twitter but now that days passed and I could notice other things, I want to talk about it here bc I think is calmer and I feel a little self conscious bringing ship related matters there. ( also I would've making a long ass thread no one wants to see lmao)

Let's state something first: I love Ray. He's my favorite tpn character, and I'm multishipper. Either if I'm being biased or not, I love rayemma, and I also love noremma and other ships. But RE has a soft spot for me for obvious reasons. And I'm not only talking only about romance here, tho of course I can't take it out of the frame bc, well is just another layer of their relationship. But my primary concern has to do with the interaction between both as it is.

Now, you may know about Shirai's and Sugita's commentary on the forest arc RE, if you don't it's here. Let's go to what is my perception.

Ray and Emma shared an unique bond like no other, would they have spent all those arcs on building their relationship from a very unstable/chaotic one to one which showcased a level of trust so deep that they were able to enter another realm and defy time and space......... that Ray out of all people was the one who felt her presence, was literally GUIDED to find her in a context in which realistically they might as well never ever see each other again to show us.. A sibling relationship? COMRADES? I felt like a bucket of ice was thrown at me. 

I've always loved that they didn't emphasize the sibling part of tpn when it came to the trio bc in no way it feels sibling-like. I always considered them as best friends, the kind that life puts in your way and you can feel it's different from any other bond you may have. And besides, story-wise, it makes sense since ehem NE exists, so that would be a weird concept to praise while putting characters on a shippy moment. Now, I think it's only fair for all 3 to be considered under the same context. But looks like NE gets a free pass, RE doesn't, and NR is close to nonexistent so we'll never know.

RE bonding was one of the best ones I've ever seen and probably my favorite, I have no words to describe how much I loved Shirai for taking this path with them. But this commentary?? Honestly, wouldn't you feel at least a little salty if this happened to a couple that means a lot to you? imagining that exactly this description was used to describe NE. Sounds incredibly ridiculous and just nonsensical doesn't it? Like hell, it can be anything but not this.

"Hey but NE is sorta canon and RE never existed" Well that doesn't mean that they aren't friends FIRST and foremost, which is the kind of relationship they showed ALL the time throughout the story. Not of siblings, not of comrades. Of course Emma referred to all GF as her family, but that I remember, she never considered Norman or Ray as her brothers, explicitly.

So in short, I felt sad and in disbelief. Nothing to do about it, it's done.

“But he said it´s okay to interpret it the way you want” Yes, which is very nice of him. But after reading that, I felt so drained and confused that romance in RE at this point sounded like a joke, when their friendship is pretty much.. Just there.

On a more selfish note, RE doesn't get half the credit it deserves. Their friendship goes under the rug most of the time, and considering canon events and how Ray fell on the sides, and now this commentary over a relationship in which in  2 arcs it might as well have been a central point, being diminished with this.. Just what even??

Not that I have power over someone else likings or interpretations, but man I wish they could appreciate them more.. I also would love to see Shirai taking his time to describe their relationship not focusing on the " there's definetly not romance here if that's what you want to know"I feel like there is much more to it that just the explanation he and Sugita gave, but that's just me being hopeful.

I think this is the only thing I highly disagree on with canon facts so far. Not that it matters what random fan on tumblr says, but yeah

A side note: this commentary was part of the fanbook, which is not translated officially and the parts that are, were made by fans. So maybe there is more info about them, for which I will say take my input with a grain of salt. Also, I'm not hating in any tpn ship or Shirai or Sugita. This is just a way for me to express my feelings over my disagreement with their answers. Do not take this as me about to break into Shirai´s house trying to validate a ship, or forcing ppl to ship them. I'm just voicing my thoughts and maybe regretting making this post later on 🤠

I do believe in the potential of all kind of fictional relationships, so I don't think siblings or comrades are in any way less important than lovers, for instance. However in my reflection, if you read the manga, you will know how not fitting those term are for RE. At least, in my opinion, they aren´t.

Thank you for reading, have a nice day.

[babysizedfics]

romans teethers

after my latest fic pink crayons and pinky promises we saw that roman chews his toothbrush

but as u can see in the fic, it hurts romans gums and is generally bad for his teeth, thats why the cgs are all so adamant he not do it, but roman disobeys anyway... so logan and patton tried to get him to try chewelry instead

but the wood ones hurt romans teeth and make him feel weird, and he thinks the silicon ones are too squeaky, so he doesnt really like any of them :( but he pretends to choose one to get his cgs to stop pestering him about it

then one time at a sibling sleepover, roman is chewing his toothbrush again and complains about the chewlery not feeling good to vee

and vee suggests she has a baby teether that she hardly ever used bc shes too much of a baby to chew things when shes regressed

roman is pretty embarrassed that she even suggested it but vee says its okay but he can always ask her again if he changes his mind....

then a couple hours later roman asks if he can see it..

he is embarrassed bc it is obviously made for babies, its colourful and waterfilled, but he keeps fidgeting with it and squeezing it as they talk and he WANTS to chew it but he doesnt want to look like a baby especially in front of his baby sister

and vee is so sensitive to other ppls emotions she understands - so she grabs her dummy and suckles it while they chill and watch a cartoon

and then a few minutes in roman feels safe enough to try the teether and he rlly likes it 😭😭🥺🥺

he uses it when they have sleepovers a couple more times but ONLY if vee is half little and using her dummy - and everytime roman promises he will wash it and return it the next day but then vee tells roman he can keep it she doesnt use it at all

so roman starts using it in his own time too

but its meant for babies!! and roman isnt a baby of course!! so he keeps it a secret and asks vee not to tell anyone about it which she of course agrees to

then the way the caregivers find out....

when logan was getting roman into his jammies one night, he was wrestling romans arm out of his sleeve - then he hears a sudden CLACK and romans eyes went wide and they both look down to see the teether has fallen out of romans sleeve onto the bed

and logan was about to smile and ask if roman likes using it but as soon as he saw romans face bright red and tearful he realised "oh no ..." then roman literally started shoving him out of his room hysterically yelling GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT

before logan could say a single word he was pushed out of the room and roman slammed the door

but logan spoke a little thru the door "its alright, roman, im not going to say anything about it. But please know that theres nothing wrong with what i jsut saw. i dont know if youre still little right now, but please come and get me if you need anything at all. i'm going to be in my room okay?"

logan just waits ... then heard a small sniffle and eventually: "......okay"

the next day logan and patton did gently talk to roman to try to get through this misplaced shame but they didnt find much success. roman was so embarrassed and closed off during the talk they hardly got anywhere with it, roman was just pouting and blushing the whole time

because he doesnt want it to be a big deal! he just wanted smth to make his mouth feel good and he HATES that he feels so insecure abt it - he KNOWS that its not smth thats rlly so mortifying but it FEELS mortifying and the fact that he cant make that feeling go away makes him feel even more powerless

roman is still embarrassed to use his teether after this conversation even with all of his cg's reassurance that it doesnt make him a baby - until one day he is upset with his mommy and tearfully asks if he can get his teether (logan of course helps him fetch it and dutifully doesnt point out how roman hides it in his sleeve as he chews it and sits in logans lap)

in general roman doesnt like using his teether around people at first

around vee its okay but ONLY if she is half regressed or fully regressed and not aware of that much

he outright refuses to use it around his nana because its too embarrassing, and he wont use it with his daddy either bc hes worried patton will baby him

((alrhought since both janus and patton like getting everyone presents, they DO sometimes see teethers they know roman will like and buy them - but they always always give them to logan first so that logan can give them to roman so that they dont embarrass him 😭))

side note these are romans teethers

roman is a little shy to use it around his mommy at first but is the most comfortable with him. he can happily chew his teether with logan within a few weeks but he still much prefers hiding his face or the teether while he does and is v shy about talking abt it

logan never ever is like 'do u need ur teether' bc thats TOO babyish sounding for roman so he just does it wordlessly OR HES LIKE "sweetheart, do you want your blue bear?"

then roman blushes and fidgets and says "um... please can i have the red monkey please?" rlly quiet and logan just nods and doesnt make it a big deal and he goes to get roman his teether

AND waaahhh and he might walk past patton in the kitchen while he's getting romans teether from the fridge.. and patton sees logan getting the teether and they dont say anything bc it would be disrespectful to romans wishes but they do share lil soft smiles

also !! 🥺 i kinda think roman might be comfy using it around jamal eventually.... because he knows jamal never sees him as a baby and jamal already told him it would be okay if roman used pacifiers, so roman figures using a teether is definitely okay. jamal has just managed to seriously break through romans barriers of shame and its so good for them

but even with logan or jamal if he uses it then he faces away from them or keeps the teether hidden behind his hand or in his sleeve while he uses it

but he does eventually in the future get to a point where he will be able to use it openly in fromt of all the family, just like imagine the teether hangin out his mouth while he colours a picture for nana and his feets kicking behidn him and a bit of drool drips onto the page from him chewing it HAJDJJSJSJS

pattons like "hes grown so much :')" and logan is like "yes he is far more emotionally mature now"

meanwhile janus is eyeballing the drool like "...... if you say so"