#but she told me my experience is so common and how we lose so much of our identity and. power in a very colonized space

[ohmypawsandwhiskers]

As someone exploring and reclaiming their indigenous heritage and culture, I am super excited to announce that I purchased my first ever ribbon skirt! I have already been rocking my earrings this week at work, and I am excited to receive that skirt!

[scribblingapparition]

El Dios de la Brisa (K'uk'ulkan x reader) (1)

Summary: You are a passionate Marine Biologist who has lived in the Yucatan Peninsula for some time now. An accepted and welcomed member of the local village, you've been working through the heartache of losing your mentor and friend. You were not prepared for how your life would change and the discoveries you would make.

[Word count: 5,654]

. . .

There were many aspects of your profession that you adored. 

You loved the time you spent doing fieldwork, gathering information about the diverse wildlife that inhabited the oceans and letting hours pass you by while you swim among them. You loved aiding in the restoration of habitats and looking at problems from all the different perspectives brilliant minds brought to the table to find solutions. You adored rehabilitating injured animals and felt a great sense of accomplishment and pride each time you released an animal back into the water where it belonged.

All of that is your driving force behind wanting to make a difference and take responsibility for the planet we all share and have to take care of.

There were threats to that passion.

Phone calls.

“The funding that your mentor left you won’t last an eternity. Listen, I know you are grieving her loss. We all are. But you need to stop finding excuses to push aside the real work that needs to be done elsewhere. Your technique of lab grown coral has completely revived the coral reefs in Culebra. You really impressed everyone in Puerto Rico with that. We need you here.” Enrique sighed, you could hear him shuffling papers as he spoke. “You’ve taken all her things back to her family and gotten a look at what she was working on in Yucatán. It’s time to move on.”

“It’s really nice of you to call in every week to repeat the same thing. Really keeps the conversation interesting.”

“You always have to take things the wrong way.”

“I’m not taking anything any sort of way. I’ve already told you, there’s something interesting here that’s got my attention and I have no intention of leaving until I’ve understood as much as I can. Funding or not, I’ll figure it out. I always do. Like I did before her, alright? So, thank you for the call but I don’t need you worrying about me. You or anyone.” 

You didn’t enjoy being the sort of person that spoke to others like that but it’s what they brought out of you. You came from nothing and you had no one. Everything you had ever earned in your life you achieved through hard work and perseverance. You put yourself through school, through college, and with no help from anyone you managed to be taken under the wing of one of the world’s most brilliant marine biologists: Altagracia Alvarez-Delgado. 

Paralleled stories and a common goal had united the two of you and together a real change happened in the world of ocean conversation. Your mentor had a way of inspiring crowds with her mastery in storytelling and she could create empathy in the hearts of others that got them to care – to truly want to join the cause of being responsible, intelligent, beings that could change the planet for the better. For everyone. 

You had never admired anyone more. You never took a moment for granted, you never took her advice for granted, and you never took the many lessons you learned through her grace and humility for granted. You don’t experience loss when you don’t have anyone; her unexpected death sent you through a downward spiral you could not have predicted. It was in her honor that you traveled to her village to deliver the news of her passing and the last of her belongings. Her family had welcomed you, encouraged you to take up residence in her old cabin across the bay from the pyramid and gave you advice on how to find peace and comfort when you felt like you would never have it again.

It had never been in your plans to stay.

Now you couldn’t seem to leave.

You were naturally a curious person, always were. The draw to the sea called out to you like the hypnotizing melodies of a siren song. It didn’t matter if you never truly had a home because as long as you were by the ocean and allowed to get lost underneath its waves you would feel at home. There was something about the bay that called out to a part of you that was in tune enough to listen.

The first couple of months of living among the villagers you had taken to conduct undisturbed research of the area. Multiple times a day, Ines Delgado (your mentor’s mother), would spot your pack resting in the same place it always was in the shore line while you dove to the depths with your gear to spend time around the reefs and exploring the extensive cave systems. Each time you shared your discoveries with her over coffee. 

There is one thing you could not get over.

“Ines, sinceramente, he viajado por el mundo y he visto todo tipo de ecosistemas y hábitats. Con la forma que están los océanos ahora, muchos de ellos están en diferentes estados de sufrimiento, pero estos…los que veo aquí son casi perfectos.” You had told her both in a state of disbelief and admiration, knowing that whatever your mentor had started here was working incredibly well. “Lo que su hija ha comenzado aquí es brillante. Ella es brillante.”

(Ines, sincerely, I have traveled around the world and I have seen all types of ecosystems and habitats. With the way the oceans are now, a lot of the ones I have seen have been in different states of suffering, but these…the ones I have seen here are almost perfect. What your daughter started here is brilliant. She is brilliant.)

Shaking her head, her hands trembled slightly due to her age as she brought the cup to her lips to drink. “Es la protección de el que la ha guardado.”

(It is all due to his protection, that has kept it safe.)

“Quien es el?”

(Who is he?)

“K'uk'ulkan. La serpiente emplumada existe. Lo he visto. Inspiro miedo en mi, cuando lo vi. Estaba vestido en trueno y oro, plumas y perlas. Alas en sus pies y rabia en sus ojos. Espero que nunca lo tenga que ver otra vez. Mi niña, tienes que tener cuidado por dónde exploras cuando estás debajo de esas olas. Rara vez estás sola. Nada existe en el océano que la serpiente no permita.”

(K'uk'ulkan. The feathered serpent exists. I’ve seen him. He inspired fear in me, when I saw him. He was dressed in thunder and gold, feathers and pearls. With wings on his feet and rage in his eyes. I hope to never have to see him again. My girl, you must be careful where you explore when you are underneath the waves. Rarely are you alone. Nothing exists in the ocean that the serpent does not allow.)

You promised Ines you would be careful. In a world where aliens can snap their fingers and change the course of life in the universe it never hurts to be aware and respectful of the myths and the gods others believed in for you never know what you might encounter. You had smiled and taken her hand in yours when the words left your mouth and a promise to be extra careful was made.

☀

It did feel as if you were breaking that promise now as you left behind your phone, not wanting to answer any more annoying phone calls, grabbed your pack and gear and headed up the trail to the base of the pyramid.

There was no escaping the heat. 

It was simply impossible.

There was little solace to find in the shade provided by the thick foliage of the trees and the ocean breeze did manage to move leaves in gentle sways enough to reach you but your prayers to Kinich Ahau sadly went unanswered as the heat of the sun did not lessen. There were guided tours around the pyramid during the busy seasons where tourists invaded the peninsula in hopes of seeing, but never truly appreciating, the history that can be found in this land. One of the guides had befriended you and had mentioned a cave opening surrounded by an arch of hieroglyphics that housed the clearest water in the area.

It was believed to be a gateway to an ancient city forged in the depths of the ocean where the sunlight could not reach and many who still believed in the ancient gods left offerings for K'uk'ulkan.

Not only that but there were said to be schools of fish that pulsed light like eye catching signals that were rumored to be found deeper within the system. It had been mentioned a while ago and you had always had it in the back of your mind to see if you could spot and observe the fish. 

What better time to do it than after a call reminding you that you might have to leave this paradise behind soon because of funding, of all things?

It had taken some time to reach your destination as it was not a well traveled path. Making sure you were hydrated and ready to go, you began to suit up. Your diving ensemble was state of the art. The suit itself worked wonders for helping you camouflage to your surroundings allowing you for the best sights of the marine life that happily swam around you after they got used to your presence. You didn’t have to wear a heavy tank that limited your time in the water thanks to the mask your mentor’s genius friend had invented and the fins you swam with actually worked pretty well when you were in a hurry.

Making sure your pack was hidden away in case someone else decided to explore the area, you carefully stepped into the water. The mask you wore covered your face entirely allowing you the luxury of not having to let your eyes adjust to the water. You did close your eyes for a moment, however, to take in how amazing it felt to be completely submerged.

This was home.

You were beneath a pyramid that was built somewhere along the 3rd and 9th AD by a powerful and rich civilization, miles away from where others would consider your actual home, sinking into an unknown darkness without any fear of what might be waiting for you. So many others would not find this particular situation comforting at all but you did.

The water called to you.

Like the soothing song.

This was home.

- 

“Mi niña, tienes que tener cuidado por dónde exploras cuando estás debajo de esas olas. Rara vez estás sola. Nada existe en el océano que la serpiente no permita.”

(My girl, you must be careful where you explore when you are underneath the waves. Rarely are you alone. Nothing exists in the ocean that the serpent does not allow.)

-

Detaching the flashlight strapped to your thigh, you brought it up to shine at the cavern walls. You had been swimming for some time now, alone in the darkness, and though you had encountered some animals none of them were the glowing fish the tour guide had mentioned. What you had found, however, were intricate hieroglyphics that seemed almost untouched by time. Your eyes widened as you took in the absolute artistry in front of you.

How had they not been eroded by the currents after centuries?

You touched them and allowed your fingers to trace through the creases of the smoothly carved images. Had these been above water at some point? What did they mean? You could only make out a few images. Pushing back to get a wider view and moving your hair so nothing obstructed your vision, you listened to the sound of your own breathing as you moved the light further down; eyes eagerly searching for new wonders when suddenly your breath caught in your throat.

Eyes. You had seen eyes staring up at you and the moment your light hit them, whatever it was moved out of the way quickly. They weren’t the eyes of a fish, it looked human, it looked like a person.

You immediately moved your light all around you, twisting to see if you could catch a glimpse of what had run away from you. You had felt the water move and push against you as whatever it was swam away but it was back to nothing. It was just you in the darkness and the sound of your racing heart but you were no longer fooled. You were not alone.

Years of diving experience have made you become extremely well aware of your surroundings. You had to be when you spend as much time as you do in the ocean where the animals that lived there have evolved over millions of years to perfectly exist within the places you were not fully equipped to be in. That’s why you weren’t shrugging off what you saw as a figment of your imagination or a construct of your mind adjusting to the dark.

You saw a man. The eyes of a man.

And now you were seemingly alone but there was something there, something in the quiet shadows and you could all but feel his gaze. 

Movement came from underneath you and into the path of your flashlight calmly wandered a nurse shark. Large, brown, and gentle; most definitely a nurse shark. Your brain began to give you facts about how many different species of sharks are cave dwellers and how nurse sharks are most definitely one of many different kinds found in the peninsula. You tried to calm your breathing to the almost lazy movements of the animal before you who was not frightened at all. It was home, it felt safe.

Yet you could not just simply calm your mind enough not to worry.

There it was again. You could feel something beneath you. Remaining calm, you closed your eyes as tightly as you could, reminding yourself of so many different situations you had been in where the danger level had been much higher and never had you felt this much fear. Never once had you feared even the biggest ocean creature but a man, this man…

You pointed your flashlight beneath you.

Below, curling up ready to attack, was a giant serpent.

Its tongue extended past its wide open jaw and around the head sharp triangle-like spikes circled around it in layers like a lion’s mane. The light only reached so far but it was clear that it was posed in action and ready to devour you whole. 

K'uk'ulkan

Fear moved you before your mind could rationalize the giant feathered serpent to be nothing but a statue. You had never complained about the quality of the swimming fins you wore but quickly kicking your feet to get away from your perceived threat, you had moved too quickly right into a protruding hieroglyph that smashed into the shield protecting your face, your mask. You didn’t think that you hit it hard enough to crack but water began leaking into your mark by your eye, causing you to move both hands quickly to try and stop it. Your flashlight drops into the darkness. You cannot believe how unprofessionally you are acting and how stupid your decisions have been when you know better. She taught you to know better.

The water was now gathering beneath your chin. Your body was pressed against the cave wall, one hand trying to cover the crack in your mask while the other maneuvered around your bags around your waist to find something to fill the crack. Your hair bunched in front of you as you moved and during that movement something that went down to the cave floor and retrieved your flashlight.

You bet it wasn’t the nurse shark as the light turned off and the darkness did what the serpent wanted to do.

It swallowed you whole.

You centered yourself as much as you could and the water stopped as it reached your lips thanks to the plaster you had which you securely placed on top of the damaged part of your mask. It was not a permanent fix and you needed to get out of the caves. Now. Your heart was racing and you could feel your hand trembling as you gripped another flashlight from where they were strapped to your thigh but before you could turn it on strong hands grabbed your own and pulled you forward.

Instinctively, you thrashed against their hold hoping to escape but it felt like trying to pull your arms away from steel. You were pulled forward again and in the darkness your hands reached out and you felt…were those beads? A necklace? A chest? There wasn’t much time to determine what anything was before you were pulled further into the darkness. Whatever had you moved with the ease of an eel and the strength of a shark. It was disorienting being pushed around in total darkness with the water inside your mask splashing around, making you cough it out when your hazardous breathing accidentally made you swallow some of it. You could do nothing but let yourself be led.

You should’ve listened more carefully to Ines.

It felt like an eternity later but eventually you saw light. This cave you did not recognize but that mattered little as you were released and you began swimming towards the surface. You must be somewhere close to the surface as it seemed to be more than an air pocket where you were in. In the center was a platform, a perfect circle made out of stone that sat above the water and you gripped onto the edge with all your might ignoring the pain as you raised yourself onto it.

Your mask was the first thing to be removed as you moved to the center of the circle, coughing up water and breathing lungfuls of air. You were greedy after almost being sure breathing air was something that would never happen again. On your back, eyes facing the stalagmites reaching down towards you from the cave’s ceiling, feet still protected by the fins, and mask discarded next to you. You counted yourself lucky to be alive.

You had said it in your call to Enrique what seemed like forever ago even though it was just that very day. There was something about this place that refused to let you leave and your need to discover it, to understand it, had almost landed you a watery grave in the place you felt most at home.

Turning yourself onto your stomach, your wrists hurt where you had been grabbed and dragged through the water. Whatever it was, whatever that humanoid was, had the strength of a killer whale. You sat up and looked into the water. There was nothing there at first but then out of the water emerged a king.

You didn’t know who he was, what he was, but instinctively deep down you knew you were in the presence of something ancient, something above a human. It was like the water both clinged to him and helped him rise; a pure display of power just right there before your eyes. His hair was darker than the shadows of the caves, his neck adorned with gold and pearls, his eyes contained the rage of a summer storm, and on his feet…wings. 

Fluttering white wings. 

It can’t be…

He spoke in Yucatec Maya that much you were sure of. The pronunciation and formation of the words you were familiar with as the locals had tried to teach you one several occasions. It was too fast for your less than basic knowledge to pick out any words you knew but you did not need to be fluent in his language to understand that what he was saying certainly wasn’t good.

Then he surprised you.

“You have wandered around my home as if it belonged to you.” The anger in his voice was palpable yet he remained right where he rose from the water. “For many months, you pushed past the boundaries set in place and ignored the warnings to satisfy your own greed. My people have kept a close watch on you. You have trespassed for the last time, surface-dweller. What do you say for yourself?”

“I…” You struggled to find words, any words, in the presence of his might and fury. It may have been the incredible situation that you were in that made your mind override the need for survival with boundless curiosity and amazement. It was the only explanation you could think of for the way you sat up to look directly at him while your mind went wild processing and connecting what you now had knowledge on.

“It’s you. You’re…him. She was right. They were right! They truly had seen you. But the stories span hundreds of years, that must mean you’ve been alive for quite some time! A-and the reefs, the fish, they’re in abundance here. A thriving healthy community amidst so many disasters. If your people were watching me then-it was their work! I knew it! There was no way everything could be that pristine with the level of tourism, even with the help of the locals. It’s unfortunate to say that but it-it makes sense, you-”

He roared in Maya t’aan; though you may not have understood him exactly, you did understand context and his call for silence as his patience diminished. The cavern walls amplified his distaste as he stepped onto the stone circle before you. You bowed your head in fear of looking into his eyes again and kept your hands close to you in an attempt to stop them from trembling.

“My name is (Y/N) (L/N). I am a marine biologist and I never once intended to trespass into your territory. I have dedicated myself, my life, to the betterment of the oceans.” You explained through a shaky voice as he neared you, eyes firmly placed on the stone before you. “I may have wandered too close to places I should not have been at but I swear to you I meant no harm. Not to you, your people, or any creatures I may have encountered. Meent' uts, K'uk'ulkan.”

((Please, K'uk'ulkan.))

It felt to you as if an eternity had passed in the quiet that followed.

He wasn’t unaware of the state of the surface world. To be prepared for your enemy meant keeping yourself knowledgeable on their movements, their advances, their whispers. The reports he had gotten from his Talokanil is that you had an understanding of the oceans in ways they had not seen other surface dwellers have before. The ocean creatures calmed in your presence, almost welcoming it, seeking you out when you entered their home. You did not seem hostile or aware at all of their existence yet you chose to explore many of the routes created to lead to Talokan. You could never reach it. Not with your mask and suit that would do nothing to protect you from the pressure of the deep or the frigid temperature.

Your good deeds preceded you and just as your curiosity led you, unknowingly, to them it was his curiosity to meet the one his scouts spoke of that had led him to you.

“I have many names. My people call me K'uk'ulkan, but my enemies call me Namor.” He spoke with a deadly tone, causing your eyes to close as your mind jumped to the worst. “You have caught my attention as many surface dwellers have not. You are not welcomed in these waters and it will do you well to remember my words. Nothing roams my oceans, close to my people, without my permission and you do not have it.”

☀

There were many aspects of your profession that you adored.

Phone calls serving as reminders that your funding was running out was not one of them.

Being banished from the place you most loved by an ancient feathered serpent god was not one of them.

It had been a full moon cycle since that fateful encounter and you had taken a lot of that time to think about what the future held for you. It was difficult ignoring the call of the sea but that time had been spent being more involved with the village and carefully listening to all of the parts of their culture they chose to share with you. There were those that believed and those that did not heed the tales of the elders. You did your best to remain neutral but interested.

He had disappeared into the water after forbidding you from telling anyone of his existence and of what you had now come to know. Your mask had also mysteriously vanished. You had made it back to your cabin by the time the sun dived deep beneath the waves and for the rest of that night you could not sleep.

“Estos turistas! ¡No tienen respeto por nadie ni por nada!”

((These tourists! They don't have respect for anyone or anything!))

That’s how you had been woken up by a young boy named Mateo that you had befriended during your time in the village. He told you that there had been a big boat, painted in bright colors, that had been rented by some tourists a couple of times over; the boat was filled with men disturbing the wildlife and the boy had seen them wrestling a sea turtle out of the water. Mateo had shouted at them to stop from the shore but that did nothing as they did not listen.

The wind blew your hair behind you as you steered your boat in the direction of where the boy had seen the turtle go after it had been thrown back into the water. They’re fast swimmers and with only the light of the moon it would be a miracle if you spotted the injured animal but you had to try.

You were around the area of where the boat had last been seen by Mateo and looking back at the bay, you had moved farther away than they had been by a lot. But this is where your heart had guided you and you never doubted your instincts. You prepped the boat and lowered the anchor, quickly working on lifting the heavy ramp off the side of your little vessel preparing to have to lift a decent sized sea turtle. The bay was the home to many beautiful green sea turtles and though they were stunning, they were large heavy animals. Usually a rescue like this would be done by a team but it was just you.

You in the middle of the pitch black ocean you were told you weren’t welcomed in.

You were steady as the boat rocked and you held onto the railing of the steps leading down as you looked all around you and placed your hand in the water. This world had many living in it with special abilities forced to be kept secret for their safety. You did not believe you had any. You were sure there was nothing special about you until your early days on the field proved you wrong. You couldn’t communicate with sea animals but they did seem to come to you when they needed help. 

Too many things happened that had no real good explanation for you to brush them off as coincidences.

The ocean was a completely different world from the one you lived on, now more than ever you were aware of that fact. Regardless of what you believed was real or not, you knew you could not go searching for the injured one so you closed your eyes, gripping onto the side latter until your knuckles hurt, and called out to the animal.

You felt ridiculous.

You weren’t special. 

It wasn’t going to work.

Moments passed with no result and you had to fight the urge to just jump in the water, knowing the search would not be fruitful without your equipment. Your eyes watered and you scoffed at yourself becoming emotional. It had not been easy spending a month away from your research, away from laughing underneath the waves as fish darted around you and intelligent little octopi tried to steal your stuff. Just as it had not been easy to lose the one person who understood your need to be in the water.

A head with large eyes and hexagonal shaped markings popped out from the dark and soon the entire body came with it. The shell had been cracked, almost cut into. It wasn’t unheard of for tourists to try to remove the shells off the turtles to keep them as souvenirs and it angered you that it had even been attempted.

Your gasp of surprise quickly became gentle words of encouragement.

“Hi, beautiful, hello. It’s okay. It’s okay. You found me and I’m going to help you, okay? You’re a big girl aren’t you? I gotcha, beautiful. You’re so smart, all turtles are. I’m going to take care of you, let me just-” You had turned to face the deck and yelled.

K'uk'ulkan stood on the deck of your boat. Water rolled off his body and the moon silhouetted his imposing figure, allowing the pearls around his neck to glow on their own. The wings on his feet shook the moisture off of themselves and in his hand he held a scepter (or was it a spear, there wasn’t much light) crafted of gold and jade.

“You scared me! I didn’t even hear you-wait, your majesty, wait! I didn’t go back on my word. I need your help. Please.” You pleaded while frozen to your spot on the stern. “She’s hurt. She came to me for help. I can’t lift her onto the ramp and then onto the boat alone but if you could help me. Not for me. For her. Meent' uts, K'uk'ulkan.”

You had said it again. You had begged the god the same way you had done in that cave.

For the second time he was inexplicably moved to spare you.

The green sea turtle was young and healthy, you estimated around 200 to 250 lbs just by her sheer size. He showed absolutely no difficulty lifting up and placing the animal in the containment tub.

“I kept my word, you know.” You said as you quickly moved to grab a flashlight to inspect the shell. “I didn’t step into the water once. But this is my job, what I’m passionate about. I can’t just sit back and stay inside my cabin knowing there’s someone out here that needs me. If this gets me killed, so be it. Just let me make sure she gets treatment, an open shell like this is dangerous. I don’t want an infection to set in.”

You lost yourself in your work. Quickly diagnosing what you could without your equipment, writing it all down, and making preparations to get back to the cabin and contact the right people before you noticed that he was still there; watching your every move as you made it, concealing whatever he felt behind the strong confident body language of a god.

“You are different.” His head tilted to the side as he allowed himself to see you, to truly see you. “Her pain is soothed by your touch and you called out to her in the water. I saw you. How?”

“No, I didn’t do that. I was just, um, trying something. It’s a coincidence.”

“How did you know where to guide your boat in the darkness?”

You didn’t know what to say. 

“I’ve got good instincts. I have to take her back to land and call the closest rehab facility. Will you allow me that much?” You asked, not wanting to rush him and ask the deity that may or may not decide to end your life to leave so you could get the turtle to safety as quickly as possible.

He bowed his head in agreement and you did your best not to sigh in relief right in front of him. It was left unsaid but it was understood and this would not be your last encounter and that it would not be the last time the conversation was brought up. You didn’t think about that now, or you tried not to at least, as you started bringing in the ramp and calling up the anchor to start your return to shore. 

You had a job to do.

The god’s sentencing would have to wait.

☀

You had caught the attention of a god unlike any on the surface world had before.

There were no early signs of how much your life would change in the simple refusal of leaving the place you were slowly carving out a home after a lifetime of denying yourself one. The things you wished you could change were how you had gotten there; you would do anything to bring back your mentor. The past could not be changed but the future could be forged into whatever you desired.

There were so many stories to tell of how you got to where you are and you intended to share them. It’s been a long journey to get here.

To your boat sitting alone in the middle of dark waters, welcomed, with moonlight shining overhead.

With you sitting on the stern, hand in the water, calling out to the depths to the king that had stolen your heart as if it had always been meant for him.

It always took a moment and you could not see into the inky black waves but you could feel him approaching and your heart melted when a hand took yours within the water and laced your fingers together.

“You came.” You smiled, using your other hand to move his hair away from those eyes you loved so much.

“I always will when you are the one calling. Join me. I have much to show you.”

☀

((A/N: I'm excited to be actually inspired to write for the first in so many years! This is part one of many one shots that won't be tied to each other so they can be read in any order! If you got to this point and you want to talk about the movie, I'm just one message away! L'iik'ik Talokan!))

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for asking my ftm boyfriend to wear a dress while we get it on?

18+ warning, discussions of sex

🎀🎀🎀

So, I (24 he) have been with my boyfriend (20 he) for a little under a year now. He’s an insanely pretty guy, not to say that he’s feminine but he gets a lot of attention.

Think pretty like a young Hugh Dancy when he had that long hair and light facial hair, but with brown eyes and a Greek nose. They honestly look a little similar. He’s a very obviously masculine person. He’s literally in better shape than me and has those nice shoulders and arms.

Alright, that being said, he loves cross dressing in the privacy of my apartment. He has multiple pairs of cute panties with those bows on the front, some Brandy Melville PJ sets, and a few night slips. It’s not a sexual thing, he just likes how he looks in them. And I do too. Wish I could wear those things too but I’m 6' and he’s lucky enough to be 5'2.

Recently, he bought himself this really pretty babydoll silhouette dress that drives me nuts. He jokingly called it coquette (??). For me, it’s that contrast between his masculine physique and + body hair and the girliness of the dress that really gets me. I don’t know. He’s literally ethereal, what can I say? Imagine Hugh Dancy in a cute little dress… yeah.

So, I asked him if he could wear it while we get all lovey. Told him I like seeing that small amount chest hair he’s got peek out of it and stuff, but he suddenly got all quiet. That worried me, so I immediately began to apologize but he kept pulling away and saying that he’s okay. Which he very obviously was not. He left after a few minutes even though we were planning on him staying the night and I spent the evening texting him and crying a little.

This morning, he texted me back and said he’s not mad at me or anything, he just needs to make sense of his emotions and think about some stuff. He told me that a lot of his friends had some bad experiences with past boyfriends who are cis and bisexual like me. Apparently it’s quite common for these sorts of guys to manipulate their transmasc/transgender partners into dressing more feminine or even going by she/her pronouns instead of they or he. Essentially detransitioning them for their own pleasure if that makes sense.

Even his own ex asked him not to get top-surgery and told my boyfriend that he prefers "feminine twink guys".

Thing is, I think his masculinity is beautiful. I love his body hair, I love his masculine frame, I love his muscular legs, I love his scars and what testosterone is doing for him, etc. I could go on for days. I would never have asked something like this if I didn’t know that he’s comfortable with wearing more traditionally feminine stuff beforehand. If anything, it actually accentuates his masculinity.

He said he doesn’t think that I’m like that but he got a little spooked and needs some time. I’m so scared I’m going to lose him. I love him so much.

Is it an asshole move to ask my transgender boyfriend to wear a dress for something so intimate? Should I have been more mindful?

[transvampireboyfriend]

part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5 - part 6 - part 7 - part 8

Eddie's staring. He's throwing twigs into the fire and his eyes are fixed on Steve and Robin across from him, their hands intertwined. He smiles when he sees Steve tugging on them.

He's so sweet. Eddie sounds like a broken record even to himself but he can't help it, Steve is something else.

"So, I see your bandana found its way somewhere unexpected" Nancy teases beside him, probably noticing him staring.

Eddie can feel himself blushing and he's thankful for the hot flames in front of them.

"He took it from me." he tells her, "Felt like I was about to have a heart attack,"

Nancy laughs at him, "I get that. I felt a little overwhelmed sometimes. ...Though maybe not in the best way," she winces.

Eddie winces sympathetically.

He can't exactly relate, being very physical himself, but she's told him about feeling like she was never giving enough in her past relationships, because that kind of closeness just didn't come naturally to her. At least not as much as she felt her partners needed it.

And Eddie knows what is like to try to fake or exaggerate how you feel just because it's expected of you.

This is the kind of seemingly small thing where they find common ground between them, even when they appear so different to everyone else. This is the kind of thing that allowed them to become best friends against all odds.

"Do you... still feel that way?" Eddie asks, now arranging the logs as the fire picks up,

"Like I don't necessarily wanna go around hugging everyone in my path? Yeah," she says,

Eddie snickers, "I meant, with Robs. Do you still feel like it's not enough?"

Nancy looks up to where Steve is now kissing the back of Robin's palms and smiles fondly at them.

"Not really." she says, looking into the fire,"I suspect she might be similar to me, but- I haven't even told her, so," she shrugs, "who knows,"

Eddie hums.

"But it definitely doesn't feel like I have to." she adds, "The way it sometimes felt with other friends who were girls too. And that's good. ...Different. But good."

When she looks back at Eddie, he smiles at her.

From what she's told him she used to be a little bit more open, a little bit more comfortable, before Barb.

Eddie understands that too, unfortunately, the way losing someone like that changes you, without you noticing right away. How it shows up in little things, sneaks up on you, changes you in small irreversible ways.

He's proud of Nancy, and so honored when she does choose to get close to him, like earlier at the lake.

"Good," he repeats, she smiles.

"Well? " she asks, "are you gonna tell me what he said or what?"

Eddie laughs and tells her how Steve stole borrowed his bandana.

"I think he was flirting?" he ventures,

"He was definitely flirting," Nance confirms, "I knew it, I knew he was into you!" she says, reminding Eddie of the many times she's said it before, "You're gonna be great together," she tells him, in her teasing tone again,

"Woah! " Eddie laughs, "We don't even know for sure that he likes me like that!" he says, but his heart still beats a little faster at the prospect of him and Steve being 'together'.

"I do know! For sure." Nance insists,

"Alright, Miss 'I'm not gonna tell my crush I like her ',"

Eddie earns a smack to the back of his head for that one.

"Shut up. I'm not gonna-" she starts,

Eddie knows this talk like the back of his hand by now: she doesn't want to pressure Robin, she's going back out of the state soon, she has no experience with other girls, she doesn't want to ruin what they have and she doesn't want to make Steve uncomfortable.

In the end, it all boils down to 'complicated', but if their tales are to be believed (and Eddie does believe them), their lives have never not been complicated.

"I get it," Eddie offers, but apparently Nancy wasn't heading that way,

"I think I'm... scared." she says, "Of what I'm doing,"

Eddie stops moving the logs and turns to her fully.

"How do you mean?" he prompts her,

"Well, I'm doing everything I can not to tell her," she says, "I'm trying my best to keep us from- from just ending up together you know?" she moves her hands as she talks, "but what if- maybe that's the only way we'll be together? maybe I'm wasting our chances to be happy?" she asks, Eddie tilts his head, 

"It won't change a lot." Nancy explains, "Wether I tell her or not, I'll still leave and I'll still come back, but maybe if I tell her, then leaving and staying away and coming back will be better? Easier? God, I'm not making any sense" Nancy finishes,

Eddie huffs, switching from his crouch to sit cross legged in front of her, the same way they've done on both of their bedroom floors countless times.

"I think I can see where you're going" Eddie assures her, "but it doesn't have to make sense to me, if it makes sense to you," he tells her,

She nods.

"I guess," she tries, "I'm saying- my life's better with her. And it's getting harder and harder to convince myself that more of her might be bad,"

"Maybe it wouldn't be." Eddie reminds her.

Nancy sighs "And I'm gonna miss her." she adds, "I'm gonna miss her so much. I already do sometimes,"

Eddie hates the helpless expression on her face,

"Permission to take your hand?" he requests,

It makes Nancy chuckle, "Sometimes i hate you," she tells him jokingly, and offers her hand palm up,

Eddie holds it in his own hand, "I know." he says,

"Look, Nance, I know it's all jumbled up, and I really wish I could untangle it for you..." he tells her, meaning every word, "but I think this is just how it always is? It's always a little messy, a little all over the place, there's never gonna be a clear easy road that leads straight to the right thing."

Eddie squeezes her hand, "But I think there are roads where you can enjoy the ride despite all of the bumps and the detours... because it's worth it to do it with whomever's sitting on the passenger seat, for however long they do," Eddie turns to look at Steve and Robin roasting marshmallows just across from them.

Or trying to.

"They would burn this place to the ground if we let them" Nancy comments, off topic.

Eddies snorts, looking away from the gooey mess all over Robin's hands and back at his best friend.

Trying to contain his laughter, he attempts to get back on track, "My point is," he tries, "if she's making the whole trip better, maybe the bumps and the detours don't really matter that much. Maybe you can still invite her to come with,"

Nancy watches Robin attempt to wipe her hands on Steve's jeans and then chase him down to the lake shore after Steve dodges her. Her smile softens as she turns to Eddie.

"That's smart" she tells him,

Eddie hums " 'm not just a pretty face" he says, wagging his eyebrows and opening his arms like he's offering himself up

Nancy snorts, "Dork." she calls him.

Eddie laughs in response. After a bit, he offers,

"Also, you don't have to 'just end up together'. It can be on purpose, you know?"

Nancy hums, "It's never been that way" she muses.

"It's new." Eddie confirms, nodding.

Nancy smiles, "Yeah, new," she repeats.

She gets up then and steals one of the marshmallow bags from the abandoned log where Steve and Robin were sitting.

She opens it and pops one into her mouth as she comes back to sit down next to Eddie, both of them facing the fire now.

She offers the bag to Eddie and he silently takes one, watching as Steve walks back to them, with Robin trailing after him and shaking water off her hands.

"If I tell her, will you let him know? about your crush?" Nancy attempts,

Steve looks up then, catches Eddie staring and Eddie stops himself from looking away, eager to see how Steve will react.

Steve blinks a few times, and a smile blooms in his reddening cheeks, Eddie smiles back.

"I think he already does," he answers.

🪵🔥🪵

Once Argyle and Jonathan are back with two bowls of popcorn, they all bring the big logs closer to the fire and sit down to roast their marshmallows and eat s'mores.

After a bit of easy conversation amongst the group, Argyle turns to his left, where Eddie's sitting.

"Alright," he says, "Types of hat, Eddie. Go." 

"Uhh- Motorcycle helmet" Eddie says, catching on quickly and wiping melted chocolate off the corner of his mouth.

He turns to Nance and raises his eyebrows to prompt her to take her turn,

"Top hat" Nancy says, and looks to Robin, sitting left of her,

"Cap." Robin says, "Baseball cap. Whatever" she adds, chewing on her s'more and elbowing Steve to continue,

"Uh- Backwards cap?" Steve asks, more than says,

Eddie snorts loudly, earning a squint and a mean smile from Steve that makes him want to melt.

Everyone talks at the same time then,

"Already? We just started! We-" Nancy says,

"Dingus! You can't-" Robin protests,

"That is not-" Jonathan starts,

Argyle stands and puts an arm out, like a king demanding silence from his court. A hush immediately falls over them and they all look to him expectantly.

"I'll allow it" Argyle says,

The group erupts into objections to the decision as Steve waves his fist in victory and smirks at Eddie.

Eddie playfully returns his earlier squint and mouths "Favoritism." at him.

Steve lets his jaw drop and puts a hand to his chest. Eddie snickers at his offended expression as Argyle explains his decision,

"It's a different fashion statement. Your whole vibe changes if you're wearing one or the other, therefore they're different hats." he says, sitting back down and looking to his right, prompting Jonathan to continue their game.

"Okay, then, if it's like that," Jon says, "then I'm gonna say bicycle helmet," he states, looking around their circle like he's expecting someone to protest.

Nancy squints, but doesn't say anything, Robin purses her lips, Eddie shrugs and Steve offers Jonathan an encouraging smile.

Argyle says "Yeah, that works!", nodding.

Jonathan shrugs, "Alright, then." he says, putting his hand out in front of Argyle like he's ushering him into a room.

"Beanie" Argyle supplies easily.

All eyes are on Eddie now.

Shoot. He got so caught up in their debate, he's not ready.

"Uuhh-" Eddie stammers,

"Uh-oh" Steve teases across from him,

Eddie automatically flips him the bird while he thinks. He only half hears Steve's answering chuckle.

Fuck. What's a hat?

"20 seconds" Jonathan threatens,

"Eddie?" Argyle prompts at the same time.

Eddie lifts his hand in a stopping gesture,

"No, no, no, no, no, I have one. Wait, wait."

"10 seconds," Nancy says, the traitor,

"Beret!" Eddie exclaims, jumping out of his seat, "A beret!" he repeats excitedly,

"Fuck!" Robin whispers,

To her left, Steve beams up at him. Eddie gets a little lost in it for a bit.

Until Nancy snaps him out of it,

"Does a headband count?" she asks Argyle,

Oh, here we go, Eddie thinks, already excited for more debating,

He takes his seat again as Argyle hums pensively,

"This is not part of my time" Nancy warns,

Argyle hums in agreement, but doesn't say anything yet,

"Because, does it have to be on top of the head or just touching it?" Jonathan asks, like he's somehow broadcasting what Argyle's internal debate is like,

"If it's just touching it, then any hair accessory would count" Robin points out,

"If it has to be on top of the head, some hair accessories would still count" Steve says,

"Stevie's right" Eddie agrees, "if that's what it takes, then my scrunchie counts,"

"That's mine???" Nancy protests,

"Sorry", Eddie amends, "Nancy's scrunchie. That I'm using. Because she so graciously let me borrow it,"

He turns to Nancy for her appproval and she nods.

"Yeah, that's better", she says,

Behind her, Robin's looking at her with a shy smile, but Eddie keeps his mouth shut.

He does catch Steve's eye though, and Steve playfully shoots him an eye roll. Eddie chuckles.

"A fascinator is a hat," Argyle is saying, "but a hair clip can't be a hat"

"A fascinator is not a hat," Robin protests,  "isn't that in like, the definition?"

"But it has a certain hatness to it" Argyle says, to sounds of agreement all around,

"What is a hat?" Eddie voices his earlier thought,

"Jesus, and we're not even high yet" Steve says,

Eddie dissolves into a fit of giggles.

"It has to cover the head." Jon says,

"The whole head?" Argyle asks,

"There are mini top hats" Nancy supplies,

That does not help with Eddie's giggles. In fact, Steve seems to be affected too, chuckling with his nose scrunched up,

"So, not the whole head," Jon concludes, "What about crowns?"

"Oh no," Steve says, burying his face on Robin's shoulder, his giggling getting worse,

"A crown is not a hat!" Robin says,

Nancy gasps and Eddie's giggles die in favor of the drama happening around him,

Steve straightens up again to look at Robin,

"What ?!"

"It's not ! There's a hole in there!" Robin says,

"It goes all around the head!" Steve protests,

Eddie's head is moving back and forth like he's watching a ping pong match.

"So does a headband!"

"But the crown is on top of the head!"

"What's a visor then?" Jonathan interjects, everyone turns to him, then back at Robin,

Steve raises his eyebrows,

"Fine." Robin concedes, "but I'm drawing the line at tiaras,"

"Oh, god." Eddie says, putting his head in his hands dramatically, Steve snorts,

Nancy, apparently enjoying torturing them, says

"Okay then, for my turn, I'm choosing headphones,"

Eddie bursts out laughing, Robin giggles a little and everyone else groans,

"I hate this game" Jonathan says.

Nancy giggles too,

"Sorry. Sorry! No. I'll say one of those that the guards in England use,"

"You can't just say it like that, you have to say the name of it," Eddie teases her,

"You all know what I mean!" she protests,

"What's the name of it, Nance?" Eddie insists,

"You don't know what they're called," she accuses,

Eddie gasps, but quickly drops the act,

"Touché." he concedes.

"I know what they're called!" Robin says, but when Nancy turns to her she says, "Actually I don't, no I don't, I've never been to England, how would I know?" she stammers,

Eddie presses his lips together in a hard line to stop himself from laughing.

Nancy shakes her head with a smile,

"You can say it!" she tells Robin.

Robin shakes her head, "Nu-uh." she says, "...And I choose a birthday hat."

"And don't copy me." she adds, softly punching Steve's arm,

"I wasn't going to. Cowboy hat" Steve says, and when he catches Eddie's eyes again he winks.

Jesus fuck. Eddie's not going to think about it. He does not want to see Steve in cowboy boots and a long sleeve button down and tight jeans and a stupid fucking cowboy hat. Goddamn it.

"Hard hat," Jonathan says,

"Straw hat," Argyle follows,

"Pirate hat," Eddie says,

"Detective hat," Nancy says,

"Wait, what's that? "Robin asks,

"Like the old timey ones with the little bow on top?" Nancy explains,

Robin still looks puzzled,

"They're made of tweed usually? and they have flaps on the sides that are pulled up?" Steve supplies, mimicking the flaps with his hands,

He's so cute, Eddie thinks,

"Oh, oh ! Yeah, yeah. I see it." Robin says, then, "That has a name too."

Nancy grins, "What is it?" she asks,

"It's, um, a deerstalker" Robin says, staring at her, "It's used for hunting. Sometimes."

"Cool." Nancy says, she doesn't stop smiling at Robin, "How do you know that?" she asks, making her blush a little,

"Oh, I uh- must've read it somewhere," Robin says, nodding, then, "My turn. Um, sailor hat" she smirks at Steve, finally tearing her eyes awat from Nance.

Steve rolls his eyes again but laughs softly, then says,

"The one the pope wears,"

Jonathan says "Graduation hat",

"Park Ranger hat," Argyle continues,

"What's our stance on things that can be hats but aren't always?" Eddie asks,

The group groans again,

"Everything can be a hat" Nancy says,

"Not everything," Eddie says, turning to her,

"Yes. Everything." Nancy insists, turning to face him fully,

"No. There are things that can't be hats," Eddie counters,

"Like what?"

"Uh- a bird ?"

"A bird can definitely be a hat," Nancy says, to the group's assent,

"A whale?"

"If you're big and strong enough, yeah,"

"A planet?" Eddie tries,

"Again, if you're big and strong enough,"

"A galaxy?"

"Probably, but let's say everything on Earth, then" Nance concedes,

"Soap?"

"Shoot." she says,

"Ah-ha! " Eddie points at her, triumphant,

"Everything solid then."

"Ice?" Eddie shoots,

"Yeah, you can make a hat out of ice" Nancy says, no hesitation,

"And wear it?"

"Yeah, in the North Pole or something," she says,

She's good, this is part of why she's his best friend, but Eddie gets distracted by her answer,

"Hmm, are fictional hats allowed?" he asks Argyle,

"Yeah" Argyle nods,

"Ok, Santa hat, then," Eddie says.

"Elf hat," Nancy follows,

"Ms. Claus hat?" Robin tries, looking around uncertainly. Everyone nods.

"A towel" Steve says, to overwhelming approval from the group,

"Oooh" Robin says, impressed,

"Oh wow, yeah." Jonathan agrees,

"Stevie, you're so smart" Eddie says,

"Shudup" Steve counters, used to being made fun of,

"I'm serious! !!" Eddie insists, "I think that one wins,"

"You can't win this game," Jonathan chimes in, "we only lose and then we have to start over,"

"Well, in my heart, you won, Stevie," Eddie says, without thinking,

He should regret it once the group starts snickering and teasing him but, honestly? They're right.

He keeps his eyes on Steve while they all react and smiles at him. Steve beams again.

"He sure did," Nancy says, the only one who dares brave the consequences.

Eddie feels his blush color his cheeks again and turns to stick his tongue out at her.

"Okay, whatever." he tells her, before turning to Jon and Argyle,

"Where are the joints?" he asks, effectively moving them along.

part 7

[nihilnovisubsole]

Because of your latest post: not sure if you’ve answered this before, but how does someone even entertain the idea of writing for the game dev industry? Did you start out on indie games or just write before and show them your work? Since it’s such a subjective field etc

if i have, it bears repeating! here's a rough timeline of what i did. never discount the value of luck and the kindness of friends

2016: i was doing a random freelance transcription job when i saw @theivorytowercrumbles post about writing for voltage. they reblogged the studio's open casting call for new writers. since it was so lenient - no experience, fanfic samples allowed - i applied. they hired me for their new project, but let me go after a trial period, citing that the tone of my writing was a bad fit for that game. i foundered for a while after that. i don't take rejection well. i started dangerous crowns to try to make money from writing some other way.

2017: one of voltage's producers reached out to me and said they'd started another project that i was a good fit for. she felt letting me go was a mistake and wanted to snap me back up. i said yes, i mean, are you kidding? so i started on reiner's route.

2018-2019: i kept at it. i took on diego's route. it occurred to me that i wasn't making very much money, but i liked my coworkers, and i was building my portfolio, so who cared? i also finished dangerous crowns, and a handful of people bought it, but certainly not enough to support myself or anything.

early 2020: between the pay and creative differences with voltage's team, it started to sink in that i needed to find other work. i applied to the few open game writer jobs i could find, but with only mobile romance in my portfolio, i got nowhere. i threw in dangerous crowns samples. i tried to network on twitter. i still never made it to the interview phase. i foundered for a while again.

late 2020: the voltage writers went on strike. i gave a statement to a journalist that one of obsidian's narrative designers noticed. we became acquaintances over it. another old friend of mine threw me a life raft in the form of a different contract, better paying, on a non-romance indie game. i took it gladly. i added a twine game to my portfolio, too. i kept applying. i got a few interviews, but something still didn't click.

2021: i finally accepted that i needed formal help. i did a portfolio workshop. i got resume coaching. the coach passed my name to a writer on the company of heroes team. they liked me! they also paid me more money than i'd ever seen in my life. at the same time, obsidian advertised a narrative job opening. i applied on a lark and let my ND pal know i was doing so. why not, right? college-new-vegas-fan me would want me to. they rejected me, but not before i passed their writing test and two interviews. i had nothing to lose at that point, so i told my ND pal that i was bummed. she gave me a golden piece of advice: "you came really close. try again."

2022: obsidian had another narrative opening. i threw myself at it. i was now going to annoy them into hiring me. since i was a known quantity from applying six months before, they had no qualms about interviewing me again. this time, it worked out, and i've been there ever since.

what's the common denominator here? i met people who thought i was all right and gave me a hand up when i needed it. the standard advice is to work with a community of your peers instead of trying to get your heroes to senpai-notice you. it's not that they don't care - they just have their own thing going on, and your peers could be the heroes of tomorrow if the right project comes along. i also found the portfolio was the end-all-be-all when it came to job hunting. i went through a grieving process with that! i'm not afraid to admit it. i wish studios had held my degree or dangerous crowns in higher regard, but i just had to make games in a wider variety of genres, and that was that.

one caveat: narrative is a really saturated field right now. a lot of people want to write, and there aren't many openings. it's not uncommon for big studios to get hundreds of applicants. larian probably got over a thousand for the job they posted recently. i feel awful saying that, because i don't want to discourage you, but i'd feel worse if i didn't let you know what you were getting into. if it's something you want, you should try! keep an open mind about the random projects you may find. you never know where they'll take you.

[fenricken]

You Keep Slipping From My Grasp 2/7

AO3

Ship: Spirit Halloween

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He felt arms wrap around his chest, pulling him up and out of the water. He gasped as his head breached the surface, and he came face to face with a young woman.

“Sir! what is that creature you came on!?” the woman asked him. He turned to where she was pointing, and saw a tentacled creature rearing back to attack them. He grabbed a sword that had been lying on the ground, and charged forward, ready to defend.

————

“Daaaad,” Dani groaned, hanging off Danny’s arm as he flew towards Clockwork’s lair. “Can I pleeease go with you to see Batman? I’m an expert on him!”

“First of all, you’re an expert in Robins and the best way to annoy them, and that’s not the same as being an expert in Batman. Secondly, you and Jazz have been quizzing me nonstop about the guy, I think I’m prepared!”

Dani pouts, “I just think he’s super cool. Besides! I know you’re a coward and you’d never actually talk to the guy without someone pushing you.”

Danny stops to turn to face Dani.

 “Sweetie, I know you have a lot of experience hopping between dimensions and multiverses, but this situation is a bit different. Clockwork’s said he specifically sent me because I’m more resistant to the ill-effects of dimension-manipulation magic as an Ancient of Doors,” he takes a breath, making sure Dani’s full focus is on him.

“I just don’t want anything bad to happen to you.”

Dani is still pouting, so Danny reaches out to take her face in his hands.

“I promise when this is settled you can drag me to meet Batman or annoy one of the Robins– whatever you want.”

Slowly, Dani turned wide, watery eyes to Danny. He was only able to keep looking into her puppy eyes for a short while before throwing his hands up in exasperation.

“Ugh! Fine! I’ll ask Clockwork if you can at least watch, but I don’t know how much you’ll actually be able to see due to whatever’s blocking him.”

“Yes! Good enough!” Dani whoops, before speeding ahead towards Clockwork’s Lair.

Danny chuckled before following after.

————

Mordecai had been set to investigate what witch lived in Gotham nailing bats to Church doors. But his eyes were not as clouded as his brothers’, for he knew witches were less common than they liked to believe.

For example, this bat was nailed to the door with a knitting needle Goodwife Tyler had been using just yesterday. Mordecai knew too that Matthew Tyler would often beat his wife and had gone missing not long ago.

Of course, when he brought this to the attention of his fellow witch-hunters and peace-keepers, Brother Malleus had just insisted that Goodwife Tyler must be a witch and sent her to be dunked in the river until she confessed or drowned. Until Mordecai stopped him, that was.

Frustrated with the events of the day, Mordecai set out for the woods to meet with Annie. Many suspected her of being a witch, but she was the only one whose company he found solace in.

They talked of many things together–the accusations of her being a witch, their mutual distaste of Malleus, and Mordecai’s struggle to remember anything before waking up in Annie’s cabin almost 2 weeks ago.

Annie told him too of losing her parents, and being shunned to the woods. Of feeling a bit lost in the twists and turns of life. Mordecai had said then, “We have something in common Annie… both of us lost in our way.”

————

Danny leaned against a tree, watching Batman and Annie embrace. While he had watched Batman walk around Gotham, using investigative techniques to uncover the lack of witches, he had been mostly impressed that Batman had stayed so committed to his morals even without his memories.

Danny was entranced watching Batman insist on finding a different path forward beyond just declaring anything odd as witchcraft. It was exactly the kind of behavior Danny sought to promote as Ancient of Doors.

But the conversation he overheard between Batman and Annie was like a bucket of ice water over him. The reminder that Batman was separated from everything he knew, and everything that made him Batman. While he knew he could not actually do anything in this situation, and that even trying would probably lead to something worse, Danny yearned to help the hero he had grown so fond of, both from his own observations and the stories from Dani and other ghosts.

————

“The dragon’s been sighted in the woods! All witch-hunters fall in!”

Mordecai climbs on his horse, preparing to follow. He may not believe in this dragon, but clearly something is going on. The witch-hunters head into the woods, in the direction opposite Annie’s cabin. 

But when they arrive, there’s no dragon—only the bones of seven men. 

Mordecai hops off his horse to examine the bodies. 

“Do you say now that witches and dragons don’t exist, Brother Mordecai?” Malleus asks. 

“No, these men were dead before their flesh was eaten. See there— Matthew Tyler, his head caved in with what was probably a kitchen ladle.”

“Enough! You blame a ladle for this? When there’s a witness?” Malleus turns to face a villager that had come with them, “Tell Brother Mordecai what you saw.”

“It was a great beast, with seven heads and ten horns, just as the scripture tells. Each head was feeding on a different man…but when the bats came out to hunt, it fled.”

As the man spoke, Mordecai felt a sense of familiarity. In his mind, the image of a maw surrounded by thrashing tentacles arose. 

Malleus continued, oblivious to Mordecai’s mental turmoil. “I will protect this town, as is my duty to god! They say an eclipse of the sun will come tomorrow, and by then, we will be ready!”

“An eclipse? There was something about an eclipse…” Mordecai muttered.

Malleus kept talking, but Mordecai was no longer listening.

With nothing to hunt, the witch-hunters left back to Gotham. Mordecai left to find Annie, to warn her of what was coming. 

“You’re not safe here Annie. Malleus is a fanatic, and he doesn’t care about logic. I fear it’s only a matter of time before he sets his eyes on you. There’s something else too… something in these woods. The creature that attacked me, that night you found me. I remembered a bit more when I saw the traces of its destruction. It wasn’t the Church that sent me here, Annie. And I remember a dead man was with us… wearing these clothes.  You took them from him and gave them to me, didn’t you? These are Mordecai’s clothes!” He grabbed on to her arm to keep her from fleeing. She didn’t answer for a moment, but he held her gaze.

“I saw you rise from the water myself. You came when I called. That’s all I know.”

“Called? Where did I come from? I need you to take me there, Annie!”

“Fine. It’s private, hidden. It belonged to the Miagani who were here before us. It means bat-people.” She stood to lead him to the cave where she met him, “I’ll tell you more when we get there, but we’ll have to travel through the night.”

“Always bats…” He mutters.

————

“I thought Danny said you couldn’t actually see much of what was happening? This is actually pretty clear.” Dani asked from her suspended upside-down position in front of the gear that followed Danny and Batman.

Clockwork turned to her, a small but smug smile on his face. “Well, it’s not totally clear…”

Dani narrowed her eyes at him. “You have some ulterior motive here don’t you, gramps…”

Clockwork turned back to the screens. “Well, I doubt it’s dissimilar to your motivations in encouraging your father to try talking to Batman. He could do with some… companionship.”

Dani looked horrified for a brief moment, thought for a bit, before an evil smile spread across her face. “While I feel like I should be grossed out that you’re trying to set dad up with someone, I think it’d be hilarious to show up at the Robins’ house as their new stepsister.”

“Then, we’re in accord, young Dani?”

“Oh yeah, I’m excited to see where this is going, gramps.”

Clockwork turned to another gear, and pressed his staff to it, showing a different image. “If you’re interested, I might have a mission you can undertake that would make this more… ‘fun’ for you.”

“I’m in!”

————

The cave was dark, illuminated poorly by the torch Annie carried. And yet, he couldn’t help but note there was something about these caves that felt like…home.

“It was you, wasn’t it? You weren’t out gathering herbs as you told me. It was you who summoned the dragon that killed the real Mordecai, wasn’t it?” he asked, watching Annie.

“I only wanted to chase him away. They sent him to hunt me! All those witch hunters playing at saints, but they don’t shy away from destroying the land and slaughtering animals and other people. The Miagani who were here before us had the right of it, so yes, when Mordecai was sent to hunt me, I prayed to their gods and asked for someone to save me. And then, you came, riding on the back of that thing they call the dragon. If you want to say I’m guilty of being a witch because I worship gods that are not theirs, then I’ll confess to you. My gods are not their god or their devil.” 

Mordecai heard something in the quiet after she finished speaking.

“Annie, we have to get out of this place right now. There’s something down there-”

On cue, the tentacled creature rose from the water to attack.

“Run Annie, run!” he yelled, pulling out his swords to fend off the tentacles. He managed to cut one off before he was pushed back by two more. He stumbled, and reoriented himself, preparing to charge back in, but was distracted by quick footsteps approaching. Fearing Annie had returned, he turned to tell her to run again, but stopped short at the sight of a white-haired man in dark leather armor running toward the monster with his sword drawn.

“Look out!”, the other man shouted. Mordecai turned and ducked under an incoming tentacle. He heard a slashing sound as the white-haired man fended off more tentacles heading towards them. The two quickly fell into a rhythm as they fought the dragon, green tentacles and water falling around them as they danced and wove together.

Finally, Mordecai saw an opening at the creature’s mouth. He launched himself forward, sword aimed ahead.

His head breached the water, and he could only splutter and scrabble to keep his head above the water. He made his way to the beach ahead.

“Can’t forget this time… Man of Bats…”

————

Batman was gone now, and so was the tentacled monster. The residual energy from Batman’s jump felt the same as before. 

Danny stepped out of the cave, noting that the eclipse had occurred, and the sun was now peeking out again.

He opened a portal, stepping back into Clockwork’s lair, sighing heavily. He set his sword down, and stretched out his shoulders.

“So…” he started, staring at Clockwork’s back, nervous.

“I’m not mad, Danny. I think you did the right thing.” Clockwork turned to face Danny, smiling slightly. “Come here, and give me your sword.”

Danny came to stand next to Clockwork in front of a lab he must’ve set up while Danny was gone. Danny put his sword on the table. Clockwork got to work taking a sample of the monster’s blood that was still on it.

“I asked your parents to come, as I thought we may be able to make use of their expertise in figuring out what is causing Batman to travel through time. While we’re waiting, we might as well check to see how the monster might be related to what’s happening. I assumed you didn’t read the energy of the monster for yourself.”

“No, I’m sorry Clockwork. Everything happened so quickly, and I just-” 

Clockwork put his hand on Danny’s shoulder to cut him off. “I think you handled everything just fine, Danny. It was a stressful situation, and you jumped in to protect Batman, which was good. In any case, we still have the blood from the creature, so we can still just examine that. You made the right choices in the situation, Danny. I don’t want you getting stuck thinking that you could’ve been better when you did what was needed. Now, we just need to focus on next steps.”

“Thanks, Clockwork.” Danny said, smiling slightly. He held out his hand for the blood sample, which Clockwork gave him. 

“Now, focus, and see if it’s similar to the energy you detected off Batman before.”

Danny did as Clockwork directed. The energy from the blood felt faint, but Danny was still able to feel it. “It feels the same,” he told Clockwork.

Clockwork nodded, taking the vial and setting it down on the table. “Let’s leave this for your parents to study when they get here.”

“CLOCKY! GRANDPA! I’M BAAAACK!” they heard shouting from below, before Dani, in her human form, popped her head through the floor, her tongue sticking out.

“OH! Dad’s here! Great! Pops and Nana are on their way up too.” Dani finished pulling her body through the floor before running to squeeze between Clockwork and Danny. 

They heard the clomping of Jack Fenton climbing the stairs, and a moment later they saw Maddie’s red hair.

“Dann-o! Clockwork called us to say you found something new and mysterious! Tell us everything!”

Clockwork chuckled. “How about we sit down for some tea and hot chocolate first. I see Mrs. Fenton brought fudge, and I should be able to find some cookies I got from an old friend.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Danny said, smiling.

A/N:

I'm not exactly trying to shy away from "darker" themes, but yeah if I'm not in the mood, I'm definitely going to keep away from things I think are over a certain line.

On that note:

Deliberately didn’t include what happens to Annie in the end, because I felt like it would change the overall tone of this story considering how serious that matter is. Similarly, tried to cut out most of the bible talk, but honestly considering where my biases lie and also just embodying Annie when writing her great rant, I gave up cutting all of it out. I'm hoping it's not too bad.

Spoiler-ish of what happens to Annie if you are planning on reading Batman: Return of Bruce Wayne:

It's not good, but definitely not as terrible as I fear I'm making it out to be. Think 'typical violence against witches'

[im-a-marvel-ous-hoe]

Secret Santa | Bucky Barnes (5th Day of 🎄)

(Credits to the owner of this pic!)

We’re almost half way there! I hope I’m not boring you guys 😅 ya girl had a lot of fun writing this one!

Christmas Masterlist <- check out my other holiday fics!

~~~~

Christmas is one of the most wonderful times of the year. It’s a time to be with family, friends and the people who love you. It’s a time where people give back to those in need. It’s a time where the world seems like there’s magic in the air.

It’s also a time where one can express their true feelings towards a special someone.

Though that seems like it’s easier said than done.

My fear of rejection has always held me back ever since I first met you. You have always been so constant and loyal and patient and loving… It's no wonder why I fell for you. You are a true beauty, anyone with common sense could see that. I’ve been waiting for the perfect opportunity to tell you how I feel ever since I realized how important you became to me.

Every year, Tony likes to throw a big Christmas party filled with multiple people who I don’t really care so much for, if I’m being completely honest. Soon right after that event, he’ll throw a small one reserved for family and friends only. There, is where we have our annual Secret Santa and every year I’ve been waiting to draw up your name.

This year, I finally did.

I held onto your box carefully in my hand, making sure I don’t accidentally misplace it while I anxiously fidgeted with my free one as I looked for you in the small crowd. I spotted Steve and Nat chatting at the mini bar while she served him a drink. Bruce was too busy talking to Tony about some new science experiment he’s been working on and wanted his input. Sam chatted away with Thor while playing a losing game of darts against Clint. Why he chose to go against him, I’ll never know.

It seemed like everywhere I looked, the one person I wanted to see wasn’t there. I bit my bottom lip as my eyes continued to search around the room.

“She’s not here yet.”

“Yeah, I know I just – …” I looked to my right and saw Wanda standing next to me, a knowing smile on her face. “Who are you talking about?” She just chuckled and raised a quick eyebrow. “You know who.. Sorry, I couldn’t help it. Your thoughts were just so loud and I had to come over and help quiet them down.”

I bowed my head in embarrassment. “Sorry.” She shook her head. “Don’t be. It’s kinda cute seeing the White Wolf fawn over a girl.” My head lifted back up quickly as she continued. “We never get to see this side of Bucky. It’s a nice pace from the constant brooding and staring contests you and Sam get into.”

“We do not – ”

“Yes you do, but that’s besides the point. Your girl isn’t here yet so I took the liberty of calling her and asking where she was before coming to talk to you. She’s a few minutes away.” She gave me a small smile as I returned one back to her. “So um with that being said.. how long have you..?”

She held her hand up to stop me from talking. “A while. You’re not exactly quiet or subtle with your thoughts.” My face must’ve been crimson red as she just laughed. “Oh my God..” I covered my face with my hand and shook my head. “I am so sorry about that.. um.. you – you haven’t – ”

“Don’t worry, Bucky. I haven’t told anyone, so your secret is safe with me.” She made a motion of locking her lips with her fingers and throwing away the key. “It’s not mine to tell anyway.”

“Thank you.”

She glanced around the room and softly hummed to herself. My thoughts must’ve been too loud and now I’m just paranoid at how long she has heard me. “I didn’t say anything before because one, I wanted to spare you the embarrassment and two, I was too busy freaking out about the fact that you’re in love with my best friend and I’ve been wanting you two to get together since forever.”

I laughed at the absurdity and held your gift close to my chest. “I’m not sure what to say. I’m embarrassed either way.” She turned her head towards the entrance and smiled. “You should fix your tie, Mr. Barnes. Ms. Y/L/N is straight ahead.” I followed her gaze and felt the literal wind get knocked out of me.

There you stood in a dark red dress that hugged your curves perfectly. The v-neck accentuating your assets in the best way possible and the way your hips swayed side to side as you walked more confidently my way made my brain short circuit. You look absolutely breathtaking. “You got this, Bucky. I’m rooting for you.” Wanda spoke as she left my side to meet you halfway to greet you in a hug.

I watched as the two of you started a short conversation. My gaze drifted up and down your figure. You seemed to outshine all of Tony’s expensive decorations as you chatted away with your friend. I guess you seemed to notice the way my feet were glued to the floor and you suddenly made your way in front of me.

“Hey, you.” You smiled and opened your arms, your gift bag swinging back and forth in your hand. “Hey, doll.” I smiled and embraced you in my arms, your perfume overwhelming my senses and becoming intoxicating. I want to dive my face deeper into your neck until I can figure out that sweet scent of yours.

God, what is it you wear that makes you smell so heavenly?

Pulling away, I noticed the gift in your hand. I motioned over to the bag and asked, “Who’s it for?” You lifted it up and proudly smiled to yourself. “Okay, don’t tell, but it’s for Thor. For a guy who’s so easily amused by everything, it was surprisingly difficult to find something.” You looked down at the box in my hand and pointed. “How about you? Who’s your secret Santa?”

“Uhh haha it’s.. It’s a secret.” I watched as your mouth hung open in surprise and couldn’t help but chuckle. “What? That’s not fair! I told you who I got.”

“That’s on you for answering! The whole point of a Secret Santa is to keep it a secret.” You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms above your chest. “I can keep a secret!” I hummed and shook my head. “Apparently you can’t.” I laughed and looked down at the box in my hand. “And besides, this gift is going to someone really.. special.”

I missed the way your face slightly fell by me being too busy looking at the gift that’s actually meant for you. “Well, I’m sure whoever it is, will love it.” Noticing the slight change in your tone, I glanced up and saw you smile up at me. “I know I would.” I could feel my heart wanting to beat out of my chest at the thought of you opening your gift and you finally realizing how I feel.

I quickly glanced at the box and debated if I should just tell you that it’s yours, before Thor made his way over to us and greeted you in a giant bear hug. “Miss Y/N! You finally made it!” You laughed in his embrace as you hugged him back. “I was beginning to think you would be too late to try any of the Asgardian deserts I brought with me. The tiny human of ants seems to enjoy them.’

“Oh, well if Scott is eating, I better quickly grab something before it’s all gone.” You smiled as you turned your attention back to me. “I’ll see you later?” I nodded and smiled, raising my hand up as if to say ‘go’. “Yeah, sure. Of course. You’ll know where to find me.” She nodded and followed after Thor. “Of course, I can’t help myself too and have eaten more than I’d like to say.”

“Okay, now I definitely need to grab something before you eat the rest!” Your laughter faded away as I stayed rooted in place. I know you’re friends with everyone here and I would never tell you who you can and can’t hang out with, but a selfish part of me just wanted one evening where we wouldn’t be interrupted and I could just tell you everything. The weight of the box in my hand suddenly felt heavier than before.

I sighed and made my way over to the mini bar. I sat the present on the counter next to me and looked up at Nat. “What’ll ya have, soldier?” She asked and raised an eyebrow. “Just a beer, thanks.” I leaned my head against my hand as I kept my gaze on the counter. She placed the opened bottle in front of me and I reached for it and took a swing.

“You doin’ alright there?” She asked once I placed the glass bottle down. “Mmm..”

“Very talkative tonight, are we?” She sighed and placed her hands on the counter, leaning forward. “What’s up?” I met her gaze and sat up. “Nothin’. Nothin’ I just.. it’s nothing.”

“Doesn’t seem like nothing.” She stated and tilted her head to the side. “Does your brooding have anything to do with a certain long red dressed girl sharing a whatever that is Thor brought?” I pinched my eyebrows together. “What are you talking about?”

“Your crush on Y/N.” She said simply as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “How do you know about that? Wanda swore she wouldn’t tell anyone!”

“She didn’t.”

“I didn’t.”

I heard two different voices at the same time as Wanda sat down on the seat next to me and Nat stood, smirking. “I figured it out on my own.”

“Oh c’mon..” I groaned and took another gulp of my beer. “You, sir, outed yourself.” Wanda spoke while holding her hands up as if to say it’s not her fault.

“So, now that that’s established, I’m gonna go out on a wild limb here and say that based on how close you’re keeping that gift box of yours near you, she’s your Secret Santa?”

“Nat, please, don’t overanalyze me. It’s bad enough Wanda knows my exact thoughts on how I feel. I don’t need you to tease me about it.”

“Hey, I’m not Tony or Sam. I won’t tease you about it ‘til the end of the earth” She joked. “I know how to keep my mouth shut.” I looked to my side and saw Thor’s arms around you, clearly enjoying and thanking you for your gift as you smiled against him. Seeing how happy you looked with him made me second guess if I should just quickly run out to go find something else to give you.

What if my gift was too personal?

“You have nothing to worry about, Buck. Trust me. Because it’ll be from you, I just know we’ll be hearing about it for weeks.”

That’s kind of what I’m afraid of.

Wanda nudged my shoulder and smiled. “C’mon Barnes, Steve told us how much of a charmer you were back in the days. You tellin’ us you can’t sweet talk our Y/N and show her your fun flirty side that I know is deep down inside?”

I chuckled nervously and shook my head. “Heh I – I don’t know. It’s been a long time since I’ve asked someone out on a date.”

They both shared a look that made me feel like I was out of the loop on some kind of inside joke. They seemed to be having a whole conversation in their heads as I sat in between them. Nat's eyes motioned over to me as Wanda tilted her head at me and I suddenly felt like I was being watched and very much exposed.

“You know, you’re both acting as if I can’t tell you’re talking about me.” I raised an eyebrow as Nat waved me off. I chuckled to myself and brought your present closer to me. I know my gift isn’t much and I might make a fool out of myself, but it was give me so much pride to see you show off –

“She won’t reject you.” I looked up at Wanda and furrowed my eyebrows together. “Just.. trust me. She won’t turn you away, in fact she might be very flattered and is dying for you to do something and, oh I don’t know.. make a move?” My eyes slightly widened as I looked back and forth between her and Nat as she just nodded her head.

My gaze found you leaving Thor’s arms and walking over to the back door, opening it and disappearing behind it. “Merry Christmas, Bucky.” Wanda said as I stood up, getting ready to go towards you before stopping my movements as something clicked in my head.

“You..?” She nodded her head. “I couldn’t figure out what to physically give you and I couldn’t go another day hearing you two pine over each other. So I thought of the next best thing, giving you the confidence to go get your girl is the best gift I could give you.” I gave her a smile as she swatted her hand back and forth as if to push me away and laughed. “I can’t wait another minute. Go!”

I quickly grabbed your present and started walking backwards. I couldn’t wipe the smile off of my face. “Thank you, Wanda! I owe you big time!” She waved me off as I turned around and made my way towards the door you just walked out of a few moments ago.

I firmly held the box in my hand and took a deep breath. I reached for the door handle and opened it, leaving the warm atmosphere of people chatting away while soft Christmas music played in the background and followed you outside.

The sound of the door opening and closing caught your attention as you quickly turned to see who now stood out here in the open with you. “Bucky.” You smiled at me. “What are you doing out here?”

“I could ask you the same thing..” I slowly walked closer and noticed small goosebumps on your skin as you tried to ignore the cold air. You hugged yourself, trying to keep warm as the wind blew your hair away from your face. “.. Coming out here without a jacket. Don’t you know how cold New York gets during winter?”

I unbuttoned my jacket as you shook your head, holding your hand up as if to stop me. “Bucky, no. I’m fine, really.” I slipped off my sleeve and switched the present to the opposite hand to slip off the remaining sleeve. “Mm-mmm, if my momma could see me now and see that I didn’t offer up my jacket to a beautiful girl to keep warm, she’d smack me on the back of my head and tell me off.” I chuckled and placed my blazer on top of your shoulders.

You brought it closer to your body and softly smiled at me. I can’t quite tell if the pink on your cheeks is from me or the cold, but I’d like to think it had somethin’ to do with what I just did. I couldn’t help the giddy feeling I had in the pit of my stomach of you wearing something of mine. “Thank you, but you didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to.”

“What if you get cold?”

“Doll, don’t you worry about me one bit. I’ll be okay, I promise you.”

We both smiled at each other as you gripped onto my jacket to help shield you from the cold. “By the way, you didn’t answer my question earlier. What are you doin’ out here?”

“Well, Thor suggested we bring out the karaoke machine and I needed to find a way out from embarrassing myself.” You laughed as you turned to look out at the night sky. The moon seemed to shine against your skin, highlighting how soft your features are. It makes you look like a goddess, that you’re too beautiful to even look at.

“Ahh, we wouldn’t want that, now would we?”

“Tony would’ve recorded it and had blackmail over my head for years! Poor Thor, doesn’t realize what he’s gonna get himself into.”

I laughed and wondered if anyone is tipsy enough to join in or if it’s gonna be a solo concert by our one and only God of Thunder. Here’s hoping he at least has a decent voice. “Ahh, he’ll be okay. He’ll have fun regardless.”

You softly hummed as you took a quick peek at my hand and noticed the present I’ve still yet to give. “I um.. I actually saw you walk out and was wondering if I could steal a little bit of your time? Without any interruptions.” You looked up at me and smiled. “Well… it looks like it’s just the two of us out here. I don’t think anyone is gonna come outside into the cold.”

“You did.”

“That’s besides the point.” You laughed and subtly glanced down at the present once more before meeting my gaze. “Somethin’ you wanna talk about?” I cleared my throat and raised my arm up to scratch the back of my neck. “Yeah, actually um.. I’d say it’s pretty important considering it’s about you.”

“Oh? Okay uh.. what’s goin’ on?”

I took in a shaky breath and held up the box in my hand, extending my arm towards you and watched your eyes slowly widen. “Merry Christmas, doll.” You hesitantly reached for the box and looked down at the pretty wrapping before tilting your head and meeting my eyes.

“Me?”

I nodded.

“You.”

You softly smiled and started unwrapping your gift, the sound of the paper ripping made me hold my breath in anticipation as I watched your reaction once you popped the small box open. Your lips parted as you took in my gift and I waited for any sign of discomfort or disappointment. You reached in and pulled out my dog tags, your thumb running along the metal engraved with my name.

“Bucky..”

“You’re always playing with them whenever I’m not wearing it and.. and I saw you slip it on once when you thought I wouldn’t notice. I just thought.. I thought that maybe you’d like to keep them safe for me.”

You stayed silent as you continued looking at my necklace in your hand. I tried analyzing your reaction, but my nerves wouldn’t let me be rational and my mind went straight to you not liking your gift. Suddenly feeling very exposed and cold, I quickly tried to rush out apologies if your present wasn’t something you would want.

“I’m sorry if it’s kinda shitty. I just figured you’d want it since.. I can just take it back and get you something else if that’s what you – ”

“No!”

I went to reach for the necklace but stopped in my movements at your sudden exclaim. My necklace held tightly in your hands against your chest, your body slightly turned away as if to protect it from being taken away.

“I – I mean..” You looked down at the piece of jewelry in your hands and held it up so it now dangled in front of the both of us as I waited to see what you would do. “I’m known to keep things safe..” You bent your head down and slipped the necklace on, as it now lay nestled against your chest.

You looked down and reached your hands up to it once again as you smiled. “Especially when it’s something as special as this.”

I smiled, finally feeling a sense of warmth spread across my face as I watched you admire something of mine and wearing it with pride. I slowly walked closer to you and lifted my left hand up, reaching for the necklace. My fingers ran through my engraved name, metal meeting metal, and softly smiled looking up at you.

“It looks better on you.”

I watched as your eyes crinkled with happiness in them and your smile continued to grow as I let it fall back against your chest. I reached up and pushed a strand of your hair away and placed it behind your ear as your head tilted towards my hand. I hesitantly held it centimeters away from your cheek as you lifted your hand to place on top of mine, bringing it down so I could feel you against me.

I watched you hold onto me and close your eyes, sighing in content. I slowly rubbed my thumb against your cheek as I studied every feature on your face, not sure when or if I would get this opportunity again. We were standing so close that I was almost so sure you could hear my heart beating erratically against my chest. “If you’re gonna kiss me, Barnes, you should do it before the moments’ gone.”

My lips parted in surprise as your pretty little eyes opened and met mine. I saw you glance at my lips for a moment as you slowly leaned your body in closer towards mine. I bent my head down and brought your face closer to mine. Your breath fanned against my cheek as you fluttered your eyes closed, letting out a soft, “Please..”

Who am I to deny you a kiss?

I closed the distance between us and connected our mouths together, your cold lips finally meeting mine and everything felt like it was slowly falling into place. Your body fit so perfectly in my arms and your perfume engulfed my senses once again. My shoulders raised up slightly in surprise once you brought your hands up to the side of my face and reached behind my neck, bringing me closer to you.

“Mmm..” I moaned against you when I felt your fingers comb through my hair and gave it a slight tug. You smiled into our kiss and held me there, as if there was any other place I’d rather be right now. I slid my hands down to your back and felt the fabric of my jacket you still had on.

I couldn’t feel the cold breeze blowing against me or hear the music coming from inside Tony’s house. I couldn’t focus on anything but you. Now that I finally got a taste of your lips, I knew I was in trouble. You slowly pulled away as my lips chased after yours, not wanting this moment to end just yet. You let out a giggle and pressed one more kiss before leaning back so you could look at me.

“Wow… merry Christmas to me.” You laughed and rolled your eyes. “Oh my God..”

I looked at your lips and felt myself wanting to go in once more so I could feel you again, but before I could lean in, you lifted your hand up and placed your finger against my lips. “We should head back inside. You may be okay out here in the cold, but I am not.” You chuckled as I lifted my hand up to grab yours and puckered my lips, giving your finger a little kiss.

“I could always find a way to keep you warm.”

“Bucky..!” You blushed and turned your face away from me as I laughed and held you close to me. “Okay, okay, okay..” I smiled and held your hand in mine, intertwining our fingers together as I looked down at my dog tags around your neck. Warmth spread all over my chest at the thought of you walking back in and showing off your gift to everyone. “C’mon doll, let’s head back inside.”

You held onto my jacket tightly against you as we both walked back inside, hand in hand. “In case I wasn’t clear earlier about my gift..” You spoke right after I closed the door behind us. “I really love it.”

“And in case I wasn’t clear about my intentions earlier..” I smiled and brought your hand up to my lips, placing a sweet kiss on top. “I would love to be able to call you mine..”

You smiled back at me and nodded.

I don’t care how much teasing I’ll get from Sam or Tony because in the end, I got the best gift I could ever get.

“I would love that.”

I got you.

~~~~

I hope y’all liked it! Please let me know your thoughts! Likes, comments and reblogs are very much appreciated!

[blushweddinggowns]

“I know,” Eddie groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose, “I know I said I’d be there, but Chris we have all year don’t we? And you can come visit me here-”

“Why on earth would I ever go back to Indiana?” Chrissy asked. Eddie didn’t have to see her to know that she had a hand on her hip while she was chewing him out, “And risk seeing my parents? Hell no.”

“It’s Indianapolis-”

“It’s a hundred-mile radius. I’m not taking the odds,” Chrissy interrupted, “Not to mention, this whole thing is so stupid! And maybe if you just told me why you were being so weird I wouldn’t have to be so pissed.”

Yeah, like hell he was doing that. Because things with Steve had…escalated. 

For one thing, they were dating, exclusively. And maybe that hadn’t been made explicit, but it might as well have. Or…at least Eddie hoped it might as well have. But it’s not like Steve could be seeing anyone else right? He worked five days out of the week and he talked to Eddie at least an hour or more a day. Where would he find the time? But he was losing the thread here. A common thing when it came to Steve-related thoughts. Besides, why was he even thinking of shit like exclusivity, when he couldn’t even tell the man his real name? But on the other hand…Steve had told his freaking sister about him. And that had to mean something right? It felt like it did. This whole insane façade of a relationship felt way more meaningful than it had any right to be. 

And Eddie had no idea what to fucking do about it. As horrifying as it was to admit it, Eddie couldn’t deny that he might have stumbled on something real here. Which was insane, he had known him for two damn weeks. But…there was just something about the guy that was driving Eddie fucking crazy. Physically and emotionally. Because obviously, Steve was hot. That was what had caught his attention in the first place. With his insanely soft-looking hair and pretty downturned eyes, all lean muscle with thick thighs that Eddie wanted to bury his face in. Not to mention his smile, god, that fucking smile. It was haunting his damn dreams before he had the pleasure of getting ahold of that gorgeous mouth. But kissing him had made everything worse. He had made the sweetest little noises, had looked so desperate, all from the smallest amount of contact.

It had been a lot to experience in one night. Which again, was fucking stupid considering how Eddie had been in more than one threesome in his life. Dry humping was very far from the wildest shit he’d done in the bedroom. But with Steve, it felt like so much more. It was…an oddly emotional experience. And it didn't help that holding him after had felt just as damn good as the deed itself. Even if it was mixed with inescapable guilt for being such a damn liar.

He had really fucked himself with this one. And he didn't know what the hell he could do about it.

Eddie was well past the point where he could play off all of the lies as a joke. He dug the hole too deep, and now there was no way to talk to Steve about it without coming off as an insane person. So obviously, the only rational thing to do was fake it even harder, right? Telling the truth would almost certainly end in Steve dumping his ass. So why out himself as the psycho he is when he could just wait for the natural death of their relationship? 

They would have some fun together, then Eddie would do some stupid shit on accident that would push him away, he’d get dumped, and remember the times they had together fondly.

And if for some crazy reason, things didn’t fall apart, Eddie could just…continue living a double life until the day he died. 

That could work, right?

~

From the latest chapter of this fic, which is now up!

[lionlena]

Too many shadows behind you (JavierPeñaxf!readerxJoelMiller) part 4: Our common shadows, our common light...

Summary: You were born in Laredo, but you didn't meet Javier until he came back from Colombia. You quickly fell in love with him and became his wife. You were happy, but… Shadows of the past begin to haunt Javier, and you lose the fight for his love and look for it in the arms of someone else.

Generally, it's JavierxReader but Joel also appears. Feel warned.

Warnings: age gap, angst, hurt, PTSD, mentions about rape and murders, reader cheating her husband Javier, Yes you read that right, READER cheats on Javier, Javier is a faithful husband, mention of abortion.

When you got home you both agreed that you needed to talk. If you wanted to repair yours marriage and raise a child together, you had to tame yours shadows.

You sat down on the couch together. Javier grabbed your hands and avoided your eyes. You saw that he was upset and you wanted to encourage him.

"Honey…" It felt strange to use pet names towards him after so long. But it also felt so natural and right.

When he looked at you, you gave him a soft smile.

"No matter what you tell me, it won't change the way I see you… You are my husband. A husband who, despite my cheating, shows me tenderness and understanding that I do not deserve."

Javier immediately shook his head and stroked your cheek.

"Don't say that. I was the one who never deserved a wife like you… Beautiful, young, intelligent, sweet…" Javi gave you a sad look. "I've done so much wrong, mi amor."

Javier sighed and lowered his head. You moved closer to him and squeezed his hands tighter.

"Babe, I want to get to know you. Every side of you. If your past got us where we are now, then… I guess it's the right time."

Javier couldn't agree with you more. It's time for you to understand his shadows. It's time for you to learn about his sins.

"So in Colombia, I did things I'm not proud of and I saw things I want to forget but I can't…"

And finally he started talking. He told you everything. About Helena and how she was brutally raped and he always felt he was partially to blame for it. He talked about the boy Carrillo shot. About Olivia's mom… And about cooperation with Los Pepes.

Many times his voice cracked and his eyes glistened with tears. And you just listened to him carefully. You didn't interrupt him and just supported him. You held his hands tightly and stroked his cheek from time to time. You knew Javier had to get it out finally. You were horrified by what you heard, but you still didn't see him as a bad person. He did what he had to do in a world full of violence and corruption.

Eventually, Javi started talking about the night you were at the bar and he didn't feel like showing up. He told you about what he discovered two days later and how much it affected him. There were so many emotions in him that he couldn't control them anymore and tears started rolling down his cheeks.

It broke your heart. You immediately cupped his face in your hands and started kissing his cheeks.

"Oh, Javi… mi amor… I'm so sorry you had to experience this alone."

Javi hiccupped and leaned into your touch. His voice trembled as he said:

"I put you in danger… I…"

Your heart trembled when you saw him like this. You didn't think he had such a burden on his shoulders. You felt even worse that you had cheated on him. However, you rejected the remorse and focused on the more important thing, which was comforting him.

"Mi amor…" you whispered and gently lifted his head. "How could you put me in danger that you didn't even know about? If anything, I put myself in danger… I went to that bar on my own…"

Javier swallowed his tears.

"But if I hadn't come then…"

You knew you had to put an end to his thoughts as quickly as possible.

"You don't know that… Neither of us knows that. You don't know what I would do if you wrote to me that you weren't coming… Maybe I would go home right away because I would like to be with you…"

You saw Javi start to calm down as it started to dawn on him that you were right. However, you decided to go even further.

"You don't control the world, honey. We can avoid all the dangerous places in the city and evil might still find us… We might just become victims of an accident. You can't blame yourself for something you have no control over…" You placed your hand on his chest. "I know you, Honey. I know you have a good heart. No matter what you say, I know how tender you are."

A small smile appeared on his face. He took your hand in his large one and brought it to his lips, kissing your fingers.

"Thank you…" he whispered.

Even though it was a very tender gesture, you felt sad and sadness appeared in your eyes.

"I'm sorry… If I had known… I would never…"

Your voice broke and tears began to stream down your face. Javi immediately pulled you towards him and started kissing your cheeks.

"Shhh… shhh… You said it yourself that we don't control the world. I haven't talked to you, so how could you know what's on my mind."

You hiccupped and moaned pitifully.

"But I should have… I should have known something was wrong… I could have sensed it… you are my husband after all… Instead… I'm so ashamed…"

Javi shook his head and smiled softly at you.

"We've already talked about this. I'm not saying that what you did didn't hurt me, but I understand you. You have your needs… and I wasn't meeting them. And I don't want to think about it anymore. We're together again now, and soon…" He placed his hand on Your belly. "We're going to be parents. Let's focus on that, honey."

Your heart swelled with love for him. You didn't understand how it was possible that a man could be so understanding and loving. Javier welcomed you with open arms, with all your shadows.

"Javi… I love you and I swear to you that for the rest of my life, I will reward you for what you are doing for me now."

Javier smiled and pulled you into his lap. He wrapped his arms around you and kissed you on the cheek.

"Te amo mi corazón."

You wrapped your arms around his neck and sighed contently. You didn't know how you both were so happy again. After a few minutes of silence, you asked:

"And what now? Will we tell the others the truth?"

Javi immediately shook his head.

"No, my angel. It will stay as it is. I cheated on you, but it turned out that you were pregnant, so you forgave me and let me come back."

You frowned and gave him a sad look.

"But I don't want you to take all the blame."

He smiled gently and brushed your hair out of your face.

"Baby, it will be better this way. Not only for us but also for our baby… Believe me, I know this city. I know how they will look at our baby and whisper behind our baby's back… I don't want that. I want this baby from the very beginning to feel special, not excluded."

You couldn't help it and started crying again. Your hormones weren't making it easy for you to stay calm. You buried your face in the crook of his neck and moaned softly:

"Javi…"

You didn't know how to express to him how you felt. Love, gratitude, but also sadness. You were the one who made a mistake, but he was the one who was going to fix it and face the consequences.

His large, warm hand soothingly rubbed your back.

"Shhh… Everything will be fine. I will take care of you." * Javier fully kept his word and took care of you in a way you really wouldn't expect, even if it was his child and you would never cheat on him. He fulfilled all your cravings and made sure you didn't overwork yourself in any way. He often came home with flowers or something sweet. And he was so happy when he could go with you to your medical check-up and see your baby on the ultrasound. Javier's baby. You stopped thinking about Joel and the fact that he was the baby's biological father. It wasn't hard when Javier was acting in such an affectionate way. In the evenings, he would put his head on your pregnant belly and talk to the baby about everything. When you giggled quietly, he kept telling you that he had read that it was important because thanks to it, after birth, the baby would know his voice and calm down faster. Of course, he read it in a book he bought, because Javier started reading a lot of books about pregnancy and caring for newborns. More than you. He was also buying a lot of things for the baby and you didn't have the heart to tell him to stop. He was so happy and calm. He even agreed to go to a therapist. Of course, in another city to avoid gossip, but it didn't matter. You were proud of him. Your intimate life is back to normal, and maybe it even got better than it was at the beginning of your marriage. Every extra inch of fat on your thighs and hips made Javier shiver with excitement. He was obsessed with your curves and as soon as you were in bed he would start kissing all over your body. And then, even in his sleep, he would often place his hand on your pregnant belly, hip, or thigh.

And the rumors naturally died down. In the beginning, of course, people commented on the fact that you were together again, and of course, you were told more than once that you were stupid for forgiving Javier's cheat on you. Each time, these words stung your heart painfully and you wanted to scream out the truth. But eventually, people got bored. They saw that you were happy, and happiness is never an interesting reason for people to gossip.

But while the locals stopped commenting on Javier's 'cheating', the family didn't forgive him.

You were six months pregnant when you lost your nerves during a family dinner. Everything started well. Chucho organized a small party to celebrate his birthday. There were two of Javier's cousins with their wives and children, an aunt, an uncle, and even your mother. Everything was going well, the atmosphere was pleasant. Cheerful music, delicious food, and casual conversations with family members. And Javier, who, of course, made sure that you had everything and that you felt comfortable.

The party ended late in the evening, you were tired, but you decided to help clean up. Only Chucho, Javier, and your mother remained at home. You entered the kitchenette with a pile of plates and Javier immediately ran up to you.

"Mi amor!" He took the dishes from you. "Don't strain yourself like that. It's too heavy for you."

You giggled and shook your head.

"Javi, it's only a few plates. I've told you so many times that pregnancy is not a sickness. Besides, at the last ultrasound, the doctor told you three times that the baby was fine."

Javier huffed and walked over to you. He started rubbing your belly and was about to say something when your mother spoke up.

"It's good that the baby is healthy. The stress he put you under could have caused some complications."

You tried to ignore her, as did your husband. You placed your hand on his and he smiled warmly at you. You admired him for his calmness, even though your mother often made snide comments.

Javier looked at your pregnant belly with tenderness and said:

"I would love this baby even if he or she was sick."

You knew he was saying it more to you than to your mother. It was his way of telling you as usual: I'm here, I'm with you, no matter what. You felt tears gathering in your eyes. Javier was too kind to you. But before the first tear rolled down your cheek, you heard Chucho's voice.

"It would be your damn duty. Especially after what you did. You're lucky that Y/N agreed to let you come back to her."

You immediately noticed a grimace on your beloved husband's face. No matter how many times he told you that other people's insults didn't hurt him. You knew that the comments from his father were very hurtful to him. And that was it. You couldn't hold it in any longer. Rage surged within you. You stepped forward and shouted:

"Enough of this! Both of you, shut up!"

You didn't know who was more surprised. You, Javi, his father, or your mother. You always treated them with great respect, but you couldn't do it anymore. Javi grabbed your hand gently and whispered:

"Don't do this, mi amor."

You looked at him with love and sadness.

"No, Javi. I can't stand that you have to endure insults even among your loved ones. This is your family home…"

Your mother decided to interfere.

"So you think we should ignore his behavior."

You looked at her confidently and hissed:

"It wasn't Javier who cheated on me. I cheated on him!"

Your mother's stupid expression strangely pleased you. Chucho looked at you surprised and said:

"What? He confessed…"

You sighed heavily and looked at Javier, who was looking at you with a mixture of love and gratitude.

"Yes, he took all the blame on himself, because that's how he is. He's the best husband in the world who decided to protect me even when I was at fault."

Javier's eyes glistened with tears. He touched your cheek and whispered:

"Mi amor…"

"So this baby…"

Your mother's voice was like a blade thrown at you. This time, Javi felt furious. He immediately wrapped his arms around you protectively and pulled you into his side.

"This baby is MINE! And I never want to hear a single word that it could be otherwise. Understood?!"

Your mother decided to shut up for the first time in her life and nodded meekly. Javi shot a glance at his father, but Chucho also nodded and looked at his son apologetically. Your husband looked at you tenderly and kissed your temple.

"Come on, cariño. Enough stress for today. It's not good for you or our baby."

He grabbed your hand and you went outside without saying goodbye. You were both silent until you reached your car, which was parked in a place where no one could see you from the windows of the house. Only then did Javier stop and turn to you. He placed his hands on your hips and looked at you with a mixture of tenderness and sadness.

"Why did you do that?"

You sighed and stroked his cheek.

"Because I've had enough of these slanders. And I know… That your father's words hurt you. And you don't deserve it. You gave me everything. Love, patience, understanding…" You felt tears gathering in your eyes. "It's simply unfair that you can't feel at ease even among your loved ones."

Javi immediately raised one of his hands towards your face, ready to wipe away the tears that hadn't fallen yet.

"I know, my Angel, and I'm grateful, but… I'm just worried about you and I don't want you to be upset."

You nodded and smiled, trying to lighten the mood a little.

"But they had funny facial expressions."

Javier chuckled and shook his head.

"I've never seen your mother have such big eyes and my dad… I don't think he's ever been redder."

You started laughing quietly and placed your hands on his chest.

"Let's go home… I'm getting hungry and I want vanilla ice cream with saltine crackers."

Javier raised his eyebrows but didn't say anything. Over the past few months, he had become accustomed to your strange cravings and the fact that you were often hungry. He wrapped his arms around your waist and led you towards the car door, but before he opened it, he had to share with you one more thought that was bothering him.

"What if your mother starts gossiping about it? I'm sure my dad will keep it to himself, but…"

"But she's capable of anything." You sighed and snuggled into his body for a moment. "I don't know, but I know that me and this child always have you and… If necessary, I'm even ready to move to another city. My home is where you are."

Javier smiled and hugged you tightly, holding you close to him. He kissed your head and whispered:

"It's true. You will always have me. From now on, we will survive everything, because we are together. You are my home."

You felt peace come over you despite all the shadows that surrounded you. You felt as if Javier's shadows and yours had become yours. You didn't fight them anymore. You have learned to live with them. There was a light between you that grew brighter every day. *

'You accept me from a flood You give me everything I know Even in my darkest nights I know you're there, right by my side Somehow with you, I don't feel alone, You'll always be my home, my heart I'll be with you wherever you are My home, my heart I feel you with me when we're worlds apart You'll always be my home' *Myles Smith - My home

Part 3

Part 5

Tag list: @harriedandharassed

[shelbystales]

Ceramic Lessons - Part Two

Cillian Murphy X Reader - Masterlist

Previous parts: 1

Summary: after much insistence from his sister, Cillian attends a ceramics class with her. To his surprise, he feels a connection to the teacher, you. Will this connection go any further or will it be smashed like a bad ceramic project?

Warning: nothing so far, this is also a slow chapter. Mention of abusive relationship

A/N: this is my first time writing for Cillian, so a small reminder that this has nothing to do with his real life. I feel like this is going too slow. But I promise next episode we are having some fun 🤪 Oh, and I should have used that gif on the last episode. Fits perfectly when she’s helping him out

English is my second language, so I apologize in advance for any grammar mistake

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A smooth R&B song played softly in the background as Cillian entered his brother's apartment. In addition to the music, the open-concept kitchen buzzed with the sounds of pots, water, and food being prepared.

"Cill! Honey, Cill's here," Joana, his brother's wife, greeted him with a warm hug. "Where's the little one, Lukas? I thought he'd come with you."

"Hi, Joana. No, he's with his mom," Cillian replied.

Páide emerged from the kitchen, his white shirt stained with tomato sauce. "Little brother, how was the ceramics class with the not-so-young ladies?" he teased.

"Hey, Pád. I'm sorry, but it was better than poker," Cillian joked, shaking his brother's hand.

"I feel personally attacked by that," Páide laughed, and Cillian chuckled along. "Want a beer?" Cillian nodded.

"How are the kids?" Cillian asked after grabbing a beer and leaning against one of the counters.

"They're good, having a pajama night tonight," Páide replied, returning to the stove.

Páide was an excellent cook. 

He first graduated in gastronomy, then decided to pursue law and become a lawyer. He still says that one of his biggest dreams is to open a restaurant by the beach and retire. Cillian joked that it wouldn't be retirement, but rather a huge headache.

"What are we having for dinner? It smells good," Cillian remarked, glancing at the pot.

"Shepherd's pie," Páide answered with a proud smile.

"Mom's recipe?"

"Of course!" He replied as if there were no other possible answer.

They talked about the projects Cillian was working on. He was currently working on a play, but not as an actor, he was helping write and soon direct the play. He was experimenting. 

And after he told with much enthusiasm his new projects, Pad shared a problem he had at the kids' school. One of his daughters had told another kid to fuck off and even called him an asshole. 

"I was called to the principal's office, man. And believe me, the kid deserved it," he said, putting the pie in the oven, and making Cillian laugh.

"Kids can be cruel," Cillian agreed. "Their honesty can be challenging to handle sometimes."

"No doubt," Pad replied, rubbing his eyes, as Joana entered the kitchen.

"Oh, honey, why don't you change your clothes before your sisters arrive, hm?" Joana said, patting her husband's back. "He can't cook without making a mess," she laughed, wiping a red stain from his shirt with a dishcloth.

"I didn't make that much of a mess," he said and then kissed her. "Be right back," he added, leaving the kitchen.

Meanwhile, Cillian helped Joana tidy up the kitchen and set the table. 

Sile and Orla arrived together shortly after.

Family dinners were a common occurrence among the Murphys. Since their parents' passing, they made great efforts to stay together, to not lose contact.

Sitting at the table, they were always surrounded by good conversation and laughter. Just as they assumed their parents would’ve wanted.

"So, how was the ceramics class, Cill?" Orla asked, wiping her mouth with a napkin.

"Good," Cillian replied, taking a sip of his beer.

"You know he liked it so much that he's coming with me again next week," Sile said excitedly.

"All that to avoid poker?" Orla asked, laughing. 

"I get it, Cill. That's why I usually spend the whole Saturday at the salon." Joana said making everyone chuckle

"Hey? I thought it was to look beautiful for me," Pad teased.

"Hm, no, if it's to look beautiful for someone, it's for myself," she laughed and playfully tossed the cloth napkin in his direction.

"What can I say, it was a cool class. You guys should try it" Cillian said, shrugging.

"To be honest, I think he was more interested in our hot teacher," Sile said, drawing surprised looks from the table.

"No way?" Pad said, setting down his fork.

"Come on, Sile. You're making things up," Cillian tried to brush it off.

"I'm not making it up. There was a moment when she was helping him, and the tension in the air was so thick, I could have cut it with scissors," she laughed.

"You dog, Cillian!" Pad said, laughing.

"No, no. I'm no dog.  And you're making things up," Cillian said awkwardly, taking a sip of his beer.

"It was about time you got interested in someone," Orla said. "The teasing is just a form of encouragement, Cill. We're happy for you," she chuckled.

"Yeah, man, it's time for you to get laid, you know. Sorry, but I'm just saying what everyone's thinking," Pad said.

"You're an idiot," Cillian replied, shaking his head and taking a big gulp of his beer.

"Okay, my words were uncalled for, but come on Cill. You need to loosen up. Live life," Pad said. "And having sex is good for you, man."

"You think I don't have sex? That I spent the last few months traveling the world promoting the movie like a fucking priest?" He asked, getting a bit irritated.

"I don't know, I guess so. You don't say anything," Pad replied.

"I don't need to say anything. Especially not about whether I've slept with someone," Cillian continued.

"Please tell me there's no little Murphy running around out there that we don’t know of," Sile joked, making Cillian smile.

"Well, I do miss having a baby in the family," Orla teased.

"You guys are unbearable," Cillian said, smiling. 

"Okay, now that we've confirmed that Cillian is a ladies' man, tell us more about the teacher," Orla said to Sile.

"Oh, she's beautiful and sweet. I think she's single, but I'm not sure," Sile said, finishing her bite. "She's also incredibly patient. Last week, one of the students brought her daughter to the class, a five years old, much like yours Pad. And she taught the little girl with all the patience in the world. The girl accidentally knocked over a vase she had made, a gorgeous vase. I was thinking of buying it myself, the price was over 200 bucks… and she just said, 'It's okay, accidents happen.' I thought it was something out of the ordinary; I would've lost my cool and yelled the hell out of the kid," she laughed. "But I think she's like that because of ceramics. I feel like I'm becoming more patient too. When you're there working on your project, sometimes things don't go well... and you just have to understand that it's not about you; sometimes things just don't work out, no matter how hard you try," Sile looked at Cillian, who gave a shy smile. He knew the message was for him.

"She sounds like a good person," Orla said, smiling.

"She is," Sile agreed. “I think Cill should try something. Ask her on a date… I don't know. That if he wants. Of course”.

She looked at him like a kid that just made a mess and is afraid to get in trouble. 

“Did I tell you guys that Lukas wants a dog?” Cillian changed the subject making everyone laugh

The dinner continued with another topic of conversation. Despite the teasing earlier, Cillian appreciated them and their concern in their… unique ways. 

As the night grew late, everyone helped tidy the dining room and kitchen. 

Orla left earlier because she had a plane to catch early in the morning. She was going to visit her long-distance boyfriend. 

Sile and Cillian got in the elevator together and Sile smiled at her brother “Hey, sorry about throwing you under the bus like that” she said 

“Yeah, you better watch your back” he smiled

“Jokes apart, you should go for it. She is a nice woman” she continued

“You never give up, do you?” He asked, one eyebrow raised. 

“I am your younger sister, you should know I can be a pain. And that's the entire reason I was so relentlessly asking you to come. She's a good woman. You deserve a good woman, Cill” She smiled 

“Goodnight, Sile” Cillia kissed her on the cheek as the elevator’s doors opened and he left right after.

***

That same night, you dined alone in your apartment, sitting on the cold floor while watching a random movie on Netflix.

Although you felt a sense of loneliness, this solitude strangely brought you comfort.

Not more than three years ago, you were trapped in an abusive relationship, yearning to be free and to have some time alone. 

The grim statistics of women murdered by their husbands haunted you, and two years ago, you narrowly escaped becoming a part of that horrifying reality, representing a mere 0.005% or even less.

For a long time, you couldn't bear the thought of being alone, haunted by the events, and the man, who was sentenced to ten years for attempted murder and additional months for physical assault. 

He might be behind bars, but the emotional scars remain. Even after his arrest, he haunted you.

You had counseling meetings twice a week. Thank God your parents were able to help you financially and in any other way possible. 

You went back to live with them for a while, and through a tight support network, you pulled yourself through it all. Your friends and family stuck by you and did everything in their hands to help you. But most important, you never gave up, you forced yourself out of that shitty place.

After your psychiatrist told you to find a hobby, you tried many things; you went to numerous classes, guitar, painting, cooking, dancing, knitting, embroidery and many others… they were fun, but you fell in love with ceramics class. You connected with it in a way that you can't even understand. When you work with clay, your mind goes silent. 

There's nothing in the world that brings you such peace of mind.

It soon became more than a hobby as you started to produce and sell your ceramics. Your clientele mainly consists of restaurants and hotels. Additionally, your young TI brother helped you develop an online shop, to help you sell some of your products. 

You rarely had nightmares about your ex now, and after two years, you finally have your life back. You still have some relapses, yes, especially when, despite all the possible prison securities, he manages to send you letters or messages. 

"Eight years left of peace," that's your mantra now – no need to worry about something that will only happen in eight years.

Easier said than done.

But one step at a time, you even went out on a date this month. A date your friend Sofia set up for you. The date went well, you were having your second date tomorrow.

But he wasn't special. He didn't make you feel anything at all. But you figured he would be a good test run. 

To be honest, it's been a long time since you felt attracted to someone, and for that reason, you were still trying to understand what happened between you and Cillian earlier. Trying to understand where it all came from.

***

A week passed, and you were sitting in a chair on the small veranda of the studio, enjoying a ray of sunlight. 

Your Sunday date was similar to the previous one, nothing extraordinary. He's a nice, handsome, and kind guy, but maybe a bit bland. 

He dropped you off at home and bid farewell with a kiss. The kiss was good, and surprisingly, it ended up in your bed. No, you didn't have sex. You had your doubts if you were ready for that, and Sunday was a confirmation that you weren't. 

You invited him in because you wanted to sleep with him, but it didn't make sense. He spent a good amount of time giving you mediocre oral, and that was as far as you could go with him. 

Perhaps that's why you couldn't do it? Maybe because he seemed bad in bed? He spent around 30 minutes going down on you without making you eliciting a genuine moan.

But it's okay, it's part of the process. Maybe.

"Hey, y/n," Loui called, and you jumped a little.

"Wow, Loui. I didn't see you coming," you said, adjusting in your chair.

"Sorry, I put some pieces in the ceramic kiln, and they're ready. Should we take them out now?" he asked.

"Sure, today we'll glaze them," you said, getting up. "Let me help you. Later, we'll cut 100 grams each for modeling. We won't have much time, so let's make something small."

"Alright. How was the date?" he asked as you both entered the kiln room.

The ceramic kiln room was relatively large, with two kilns in one corner near the window. The walls were filled with shelves, mostly displaying your and Loui's pieces. On the floor, beneath the shelves, lay kilos of clay wrapped in plastic bags.

"I was thinking about it. I think it went well, but I'm not sure if I want to go out with him again," you admitted.

"That's a shame, but it happens. It took me some time to find my Juliet," he said, smiling.

"Romeo and Juliet killed each other, Loui. I've said before it's not a story to compare to," you said with a sheepish smile.

"Oh, y/n! Shakespeare portrayed such a beautiful and profound love that only death could separate them. To me, that's beautiful," he said. Loui was a literature enthusiast.

"Healthy relationships don't lead to death, Loui."

"It's just a story. I didn't know you didn't like Shakespeare," he said, taking the pieces out of one kiln while you did the same with the other.

"I do like it, but I don't appreciate the idealization of Romeo and Juliet," you shrugged. "I don't think people interpret it well either. I don't know."

"Maybe the problem is your interpretation, not others'," he said, and you fell silent, contemplating his words. Maybe he had a point?

As you took the pieces, you noticed Cillian's vase and smiled. Despite being a little lopsided and dented, it looked beautiful.

The sound of voices and people arriving in the studio started to fill the air. Glancing at your wristwatch, you realized the class was about to begin.

Carefully, you and Loui placed the pieces on the workbench.

"Today, we're going to glaze them. Choose your colors," you said to everyone present, then went to get the rest of the pieces.

Upon your return, you saw Cillian and Sile chatting and laughing together. He looked different today, dressed in a slightly more casual outfit than last week - a regular white shirt and loose, worn jeans.

You left the remaining pieces on the table and clapped your hands together to remove the dust.

"Well, after glazing, we'll take 100 grams of clay each for modeling. Today, no potter's wheel; we'll use our hands," you announced, drawing everyone's attention and a disappointed sigh from some.

You were busy for a while, fetching the colors the students requested, while Loui cut the clay into uniform pieces.

"What color do you think will look good?" Sile asked you, showing her vase. Cillian beside her.

You took a deep breath and pushed your hair away from your face. Your coiled hair had come loose from running around, now hanging loosely.

"Sile, you can do a lot of cool things with yours," you said after thinking. "You can glaze by immersion or use a brush, add some designs, like the flowers in your last piece. As for you, Cillian, I think since yours has a more organic feel, you can use the brush to create some organic shapes as well. The color choice is up to you both," you smiled.

"More organic," Sile laughed. "It actually turned out pretty good, huh? I thought Cillian's would be a disaster."

"I thought so too," he admitted, smiling. "But it's presentable."

"It's a beautiful piece. If you don't tell anyone, they won't know the dents weren't intentional," you smiled, and he smiled back. Your eyes locked for a long moment, sending shivers down your spine.

"I think I'll go with a terracotta color and white," Sile decided, taking your attention from her brother, and you nodded. "Choose yours, Cill,so she can get them for both of us."

"I have no idea," he laughed awkwardly, looking at his vase.

"I'll take the white immersion and terracotta brush for you Sile. You can add terracotta on top of the white glaze keeping the brush strikes. It will look nice," you suggested. You looked at Cillian. "And for you, maybe navy blue or moss green with white, doing the same technique as Sile."

"Whatever you say. I trust you," he laughed, and you nodded, smiling, and went to fetch the glazes for both of them.

You continued to guide the students through the glazing process, offering advice and suggestions. 

Cillian and Sile seemed to be having fun, exchanging playful banter as they dipped their brushes into the glaze. Cillian’s genuine smile and gentle interactions with others warmed your heart. Well, at least he’s proving not to be a spoiled Hollywood star.

You couldn’t help but notice how his eyes frequently darted in your direction, and you couldn’t help but to steal some glances at him too. 

Afterward, you all gathered around the kiln to load the glazed pieces carefully. Loui managed the kiln firing process, ensuring everything went smoothly.After that, you gave them a task to manually make a cup using a technique called pinching.

"This first step may seem similar, but we're going to create a hole in the middle of the clay and then gently pinch the walls of the cup, gradually thinning them. This will start shaping it like a cup. It won't be as flawless as the cups we make on the wheel, but depending on the finish, it might even turn out more beautiful," you explained, demonstrating the process using a piece of ceramic. "The imperfections can actually add character to the final piece."

As you moved around, you noticed that Cillian was deeply focused on his work, his brow furrowed in concentration. Sile, on the other hand, was chatting animatedly with the other students while she worked. Her enthusiasm was infectious, and the group around her laughed and shared stories as they molded their cups. She was like a social butterfly, different from her brother, who seemed a bit more private. 

"Y/n," Loui spoke, calling you to a corner to talk to you in private. "I need to go. I have that doctor's appointment I told you about."

"Ah, sure. You can go. See you on Monday," you smiled and bid him farewell with a hug.

At the end of the class, you made sure everyone signed the pieces they had made, so none would be lost.

After everyone started leaving, you realized how much an assistant was needed; the tidying process was taking much longer after classes. 

Cillian and Sile talked at the entrance of the studio. You glanced at them, to notice Cillian eyes on you. you gave him a soft smile and continued on cleaning the table they used. 

"You know, you have two options," Sile said to Cillian as she took off her apron and put it in her own bag.

"What are you talking about?" Cillian asked, confused, briefly diverting his attention from you.

"You can ask her out tonight. Or you can wait the whole week until next Saturday and then ask her out. It's up to you. It's inevitable, it's going to happen. Why procrastinate?" she asked, eliciting a smile from Cillian. "I'll be in the bathroom for about 5 minutes. Make up your mind."

Cillian watched his sister walk away to the restroom and debated whether he should follow her advice. After considering a few different options, he eventually gathered his courage and approached you.

"Hey, y/n," he greeted, scratching the back of his neck. You turned off the faucet where you were cleaning the tools used in the class and looked at him with a curious expression.

"Hey, do you have any questions?" you asked, trying to understand why he had come back.

"No, no questions. Actually, I know this might seem a bit unexpected, or maybe not. But I was wondering if you'd like to go grab a coffee or something?" he said.

You smiled. "Are you asking me out on a date?"

"Yeah, I am," he replied, his nervousness evident in his gaze.

"I'm free tomorrow," you said, eliciting a wide relaxed smile from him.

"Perfect. I'll pick you up at 7," he said, taking his phone from his pocket to save your number. "Any food preferences?"

"Nope, maybe I should let you know that I'm a vegetarian," you mentioned, and he nodded.

"I'll find us a good place," he said, and you smiled, returning his phone with your number saved “I’ll text you” you nodded with a smile and watched him walk to his sister, who was standing by the door

“Not a word” he said as he reached her

“You asked her out?” She asked excitedly as they walked out of the studio. 

“Yes. Tell Orla or Páide and I’ll cancel it” he warned walking inside his car

“No you won’t” She frowned after she sat in the passenger seat. Cillian would be dropping her of at home

“Try me” he smiled 

“Fine, i won’t tell, IF you give me the details” she negotiated

“Ok, I can tell you a few things” he shrugged “Did you know she’s vegetarian?” 

“No… oh God, Pad is going to freak out” she noticed making Cill chuckle.

Want to get tagged? Click here

[silentwillowwhisperer]

We were robbed of this

Guys Keith and Allura are besties. I hate that they only had an interaction when dream works needed her to create racial drama for him. And once they make up, they go back to being distant.

———————-

Does Keith have a random collection of art supplies hidden in his closet?

Nope.

He goes to Allura’s room instead. Thanks to their shared experiences and mutual feelings of unbelonging, they’re actually best friends. (Shiro and Coran are family, so don’t worry, they aren’t being replaced.)

Allura practices hairdos and makeup on Keith while he puts her untouched art supplies to use and spills his guts to her. It’s a win-win, Keith gets things off his chest that he can’t say to anyone else, and Allura gets all the gossip.And, of course Allura shares a bit, but she finds it easier to listen to others and find comfort in that.

Which is why she feels horrible betrayal crawling through her gut when Shiro and Keith got to the Marmora base and won’t tell her anything anymore.

She knows it’s because he’s worried that he’ll crack and gush everything to her ( can never keep secrets from the princess) but she doesn’t understand what could be so bad that he doesn’t want to get advice from her.

It feels like she’s losing him.

She finds out that he is half Galra and explodes internally. Not only had she told the enemy her darkest secrets, but she actually valued him.

It had to be a mistake, or maybe Keith is even faking it to cover up something else.

But the deep hurt that floods his eyes any time she looks at him is very clearly genuine.

She’s never seen him looks so wounded. Wait, yes she has. He looks like this when he talks about his dad running into a flaming building and leaving him behind forever without a second thought.

And Keith has been getting more stressed without a creative outlet as well, and the whole team notices the tension when Keith makes it past level 183 on the training simulator.

Lance has gotten more protective and it is common to see him with an arm around Keith protectively and sending Allura loathing looks.

Keith and Allura make up when she realizes how crappy she’s been but doesn’t know how to apologize as sincerely as he deserves.

She takes her chance after Keith announces to the team that he and Lance are are officially dating. Allura had known about Keith’s crush for a long time now, longer than Shiro.

Allura slides up to Keith during dinner.

“So. You did it. Make sure you hang on to him, he seems like a good one.”

As the resident lesbian of the castle, Allura does not understand the men she is surrounded by, but Keith is the only one willing to indulge in ‘girl time.’

When Keith only raises an eyebrow at her sudden interest in him, she starts blabbing apologies.

“I’ll never be able to make it up to you, you deserved absolutely none of my crap, but ple-“

She’s cut off by Keith hugging her. One thing about Keith is that his surprisingly small frame makes him great for hugging. He almost seems delicate like this.

His voice wobbles when he speaks, which drives a stake through Allura’s heart.

“It’s alright. I just missed my alien twin bestie. You’ve already done so much more for me than you think.”

Lance has clearly gotten to him, but Allura ignores that. She’s just happy to have her friend back.

(His weird habit of mimicking other people’s behaviors just comes was part of him.)

————————-

I think platonic love is SO important.

Side note: Someone said the word delicate to my art teacher today, and THIS QUEEN starts singing the song, and agh I started singing it too, and I love her so much, she SLAYS.

[ae-grimshaw]

So I moved to LA about 4 years ago, and everyone told me that celebrity sightings would be so common I’d get bored. Very much not true, I haven’t seen any celebrities at this point (in fairness I moved to a poor neighborhood and then the pandemic happened)

Except ONE! After the lockdowns lifted I went to a chill Easter party and met this wonderful painter and her husband. We hit it off right away, and all became pretty close friends. Her husband is an actor and writer, I’m a a writer raised by actors, so we had a lot in common. Awesome dude, I love him to death

He invites me and my partner over for Halloween last year, he also asks if it’s cool if he invited a friend we’d never met. I was of course totally fine with that. My partner and I arrive, start chatting and drinking and smoking. I’m sitting directly across from the front door. It swings open and fucking DUMBLEDORE WALKS IN

I’m high and tipsy and now feel like I’m losing my fucking mind. I was a huge Starkid fan growing up. I was so insanely annoying about it. Me and my best friend from high school refer to each other as Bright Knight and Morning Bird, that’s how cringey we were. And now fucking Dylan Saunders is pulling up a chair next to me and asking for a drink

But I also don’t want to be that weirdo fan who makes this dude uncomfortable so I pretend I don’t know who he is. We shake hands, I ask him what he does for a living (pretending that I don’t already know, ya know, like a liar). Meanwhile I’m texting my friend from high school losing my mind and she’s freaking out, and I’m trying to make meaningful eye contact with my partner because he knows nothing about Starkid but I HAVE to tell him

As I learn later, my friend, who is a solid decade older than me, went to the same college as the original Starkid cast. He’s friends with all of them. They asked him to audition for AVPM but he turned them down because it seemed silly. I don’t know what fates brought this guy into my life but it was such a surreal experience

Anyway, then Dylan asked us to watch Barbarian and I had nightmares for like a week lmao

[lilapetrichorwinteryrogue]

I love Dimension 20 an appropriate amount (read absofuckinglutely unhinged level) but i have no one to really geek out and talk to about it so when i foud out that my org 1 lab TA also watcged D20 and fucking loved ot as much as me I was fucking thrilled. Unfortunately it was like 2 labs before the last one, cause i was kinda shy and it took me being sick and ranting to my lab partner, that i had just opened up to, about how I'd gave to wait till the weekend to watch that week's ep because of a midterm i had the next day. And she heard me and it got us taking and me realizing we had so much in common and it was really great. And i know lot's of people friends with TAs do I was gonna ask for her insta at the end of the labs but the lsb final was actually so stressful (for no real reason , i was panicked for nothing. She legit gave me the easiest experiment and even told me if I'd correctly identified the unknown) i just forgot. Now, I've found her insta and I'm debating if i should follow her. Cause on 1 hand that's a lil wild. But in the other, we have mutuals (students) and she loves D20 and DnD and the only person in my city that is intrested in that stuff. A friend has told me to go for it but he's kind of a wild card, waiting on answers from the more level headed ones but its 4 am so maybe I'm losing it.

Anyways if you've made it this far, I'd love to hear your thoughts.

[blue-aconite]

let me drown || chapter I - bradley’s summer part I

Summary: Bradley has many regrets. A whole lifetime of them. His biggest? Losing her. Watching someone else pick of the pieces of what he broke kills him inside and Bradley doesn’t want to let go of the past. No matter how much the past tries to slip through his fingers.

Warnings: Swearing, jealousy

Word Count: 3.8k

Pairings: Bradley Bradshaw x OC

Authors Note: Minors DNI. Each chapter will be labelled with warnings individually. Rating will go up as we get further into this fic. We’re in for a wild ride fam! Enjoy!

Thank you to my amazing betas @writercole and @imjess-themess!

Virginia, Oceana Naval Air Station, Summer 2018

The common room was quiet, which is a nice change of pace. Usually, this place was full of life, the noise was ever-ending and so loud he couldn’t hear his own thoughts. Bradley tipped his head back, dropping his shoulders and letting out a deep breath. It was quiet now, letting his mind run wild. He almost wished it didn’t.

“If you don’t stop moping soon, I’ll lock you in a closet,” Athena mocked as she shoved at his legs, taking their place on the couch. She stretched out her own legs over his, the heel of her foot dangerously close to his crotch. 

“Thena…” He warned. They had played this game long enough for him to know what she was after. But he wasn’t in the mood. She only smirked, tracing the muscle of his thigh with her sock-clad foot, ignoring his warning. 

“C’mon Bradshaw. It would improve the sour mood you’ve been sporting all day. We both know where we’ll end up anyway.” Tangled between the sheets was left unsaid.

Normally, he would be dragging her off the moment she came onto him but today was different. He just wanted to be left alone. “I’m good. Not really in the mood.”

Six weeks after he got stationed at Oceana, the air boss had called Bradley into his office and told him he would be flying a two-seater for the duration of his assignment. He needed the experience, Admiral Tate had told him, leaving no room for arguing. 

And that’s how he ended up with Joanna ‘Athena’ Simons as his backseater. She was quick on her feet, always two steps ahead and a smart mouth to put people in their place. Whoever said that women didn’t belong in the Navy had never met Athena. 

They were good together. Like two peas in a pod. Bradley thought that flying with a backseater would be a hindrance but Athena quickly proved him wrong. They became fast friends and it didn’t take long until Bradley found himself in bed with her. Neither wanted more, both happy with the physical side of things. It was the perfect agreement. 

Her foot moved sideways and interrupted his train of thought. Bradley sat up, shoving her feet from his lap. “Not now. I’m not in the mood,” he snarled, getting to his feet. Athena held up her hands, eyebrows rising.

“Easy. I was just -”

“I know what you were doing, Thena. I’m tired, so just stop.” Bradley stepped around the couch, leaving Athena behind with a bewildered look on her face. He took a deep breath once he got outside, one hand coming up to rub at his temples. A movement to his right caught his attention as he spied Bob Floyd.

Desperate for a distraction that wasn’t Athena, Bradley jogged over to where Bob was heading.

“Floyd, hey! You’re leaving? Hot date?” Bradley joked as he caught up to Bob. He wasn’t wearing his uniform, dressed in a t-shirt and jeans, leading Bradley to believe he had other plans than hanging out in the common room tonight. 

Bob rolled his eyes as they passed the gates, heading towards the parking lot. “I’m meeting my sister. She just moved here. We’re grabbing dinner.” Floyd fished the car keys out of his pocket, stopping at a black truck. Bob doesn’t strike him as a truck guy. Bradley told him as much.

“Looks can be deceiving Bradshaw. Do you want to join us? Thea won’t mind.” A night out does sound good and especially after today. 

Bradley smiles broadly, rounding the truck and pulling the passenger door open. “If neither of you mind. Today’s the last day I want to be stuck on base.”

Bob asks no questions, just pulls out of the parking lot and starts to drive. This is what Bradley likes about Bob Floyd. He’s quiet, calm and doesn’t pry. He’s a good friend. 

Bradley would like to think they’re friends. They get along, they hang out sometimes and Bob is one hell of a WSO. Athena almost had an aneurysm when she found out Robert Floyd was being stationed at Oceana, in their squad. 

Bob hummed along to the radio, never taking his eyes off the road. “If you want to talk about it, feel free.” 

He doesn’t know if he wants to talk about it. He doesn’t know what to say. 

It’s Maverick’s birthday. Bradley keeps the date marked in each calendar he buys. It’s been years since they’ve talked but every time he gets a new calendar, he marks today’s date. 

Anger fills him as he thinks about the man that stepped in after Nick died. Who spent countless hours telling him stories about his dad, what kind of man he was. Who popped in and out of his life, between assignments and missions. Even though Maverick wasn’t always there, he was there when Bradley needed him. Until he wasn’t. 

Bradley has tried to hate Maverick. Most days he succeeded. On most days, he blamed the man for everything that had gone wrong in his life. His father’s death, his mother’s grief, pulling his papers. It was all Maverick’s fault. 

But today, just today, Bradley can’t find it in him to hate. He would never say it out loud, but he misses Maverick today. Just today. Tomorrow he can go back to hating him. 

Bradley realised he never answered Bob, who is still humming. “I don’t even know what to say. Thanks for offering though,” The bespeckled aviator hums in response, the corners of his mouth lifting slightly. “I’ll let you know if I change my mind.” 

Bob turns left without warning and pulls up in front of a small restaurant. He turns to Bradley, shifting in his seat. “Word of advice. My sister likes to pick people apart. She’s good at reading them. It’s in no way mean, she just likes to know. So if I were you, and didn’t want to talk about it, I’d try to tone down the sullen mood. She’ll notice. She always does.”

Maybe tagging along wasn’t a good idea. Bradley doesn’t feel like being picked apart right now. He’s being held together with tape and glue and the last thing he needs is someone to point out his flaws. 

His feet are moving before his brain catches up and suddenly they're inside and Bob is being engulfed in a hug by the most beautiful girl Bradley has ever seen. 

He’s standing frozen near the door, watching as the Floyd siblings part. Bob is smiling widely, brushing the hair from his sister’s face, such a gentle action it makes Bradley’s heart hurt. In one movement he can see the affection, the love between them.

“.. and this is Rooster. I hope you don’t mind that I invited him.” They’re suddenly in front of him and the greeting gets caught in his throat.

She’s stunning. Radiant even. She’s the light at the end of the dark tunnel he can’t escape. She has her brother’s eyes but unlike Bob’s, hers takes his breath away. So blue he could drown in them, over and over. 

She’s taking his hand, shaking it softly. “Nice to meet you. Do you have a real name or am I gonna have to stick to Rooster?” She’s smiling up at him, her hand soft in his and he can’t help but to shudder at her touch.

Remembering that she asked a question, he coughs awkwardly. “Uh, Bradley. But Rooster works too. Whatever you prefer.” 

“Bradley it is. Name’s Thea, I’m Bob’s sister. If he didn’t tell you that. And no, big brother, I don’t mind. The more the merrier.” Thea let go of his hand and he immediately missed the warmth of her touch. 

She’s smiling widely at him and Bradley feels the quick thuds of his heart against his rib cage. Out of the corner of his eye he can see Bob observing them with a critical look. 

He clears his throat, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “He did tell me he was meeting you but not your name. It’s.. pretty. Suits you.” It isn’t the smoothest he’s ever been but Thea blushes, mouth curling upward in a bashful smile. 

“Should we grab a table? I’m starving.” Bob diffuses the moment, reaching out to grab his sister’s hand, not waiting for Bradley before he starts towards the dining area. 

They sit down and he can feel her observing him, watching him carefully. She’s a lot like her brother except she likes to talk. A lot more. 

“So, what made you ditch your normal nighttime routine to hang out with my big bro here?” Bob is poking her side when she asks, telling her to shut up. “Don’t mind her, she’s just nosy.” 

“Bob! I’m just trying to get to know him. You don’t mind, do you Bradley?” How can he say no to her? 

Weirdly enough, he wants to tell her. He wants to share his thoughts and troubles. Something tells him that she wouldn’t judge him. 

Dinner mainly consists of Bob watching the two of them flirt over steaks. Bradley tries to not come on too strong but every time she smiles at him he wants to reach across the table and kiss her. There’s something so blindingly pure about her. 

At the end of the night, Thea thrusts a small piece of paper in his hand, kisses his cheek and tells him to give her a call. Then she’s gone, climbing into her car and driving off. 

Bob is oddly quiet, more so than usual. They drive in silence back to base. He wants to ask if he’s overstepped, if Bob doesn’t approve but Bradley doesn’t want to answer either. 

There’s a need to know Thea better. To know what makes her smile and laugh, to know what her childhood was like, which side of the bed she preferred and if she liked breakfast for lunch. Bradley wanted to know everything that made Thea the person she was today. 

He opens his mouth but Bob beats him to it. “Listen. My sister is a grown woman. What she does is none of my business. She obviously likes you and you look like you’ve got a full blown crush already. You’re my friend and I trust you with her. But if you hurt her, if you make her anything other than happy, you will have to answer to me. Understood?” 

Bradley can do little other than nod feverishly. He didn’t want to fuck this up before it had even begun. He wanted Thea, and if keeping on Bob’s good side was a point in his favour, he’d do it. 

Floyd clapped  him on the shoulder, shooting  him an uncharacteristic wink and then disappeared behind the corner, leaving Bradley standing in the parking lot. 

Bradley’s steps were light when he headed back to his room, an exciting feeling in his stomach. Behind closed doors he fished  his phone out of his pocket and punched in Thea’s number under a new contact. 

Hi! It’s Bradley. Are you free for dinner on Friday?

Is this your way of asking me on a date?

It can be whatever you want. I just know I want to see you again. 

Pick me up at 7. Wear something pretty ;)

Bradley hasn’t smiled this much in a long time. He tossed the phone onto his bed and pulled his shirt over his head before heading into the bathroom. He looked  lighter, happier and downright giddy when he passed the bathroom mirror. The smile didn’t  leave him, even when he got  shampoo in his eyes and swore so much his mother would have whacked him over the head. 

The smile disappeared as soon as he made it back into the  bedroom and found Athena lounging on his bed. She was clad in nothing but one of his T-shirts and a pair of boy shorts. 

“I was tempted to join you in there, but the pissy mood from before figured I’d do best staying out here. An apology would be nice, by the way.” She doesn’t take her eyes off the phone while she speaks. 

Bradley bristled. “An apology for what? And is that my phone? Give it here!” He snatched the device out of her hands, swatting her away when she reached for his towel. “Fuck, Athena. Just stop. What’s your fucking problem?” 

“My problem? You being a dick, obviously. And who is Thea, hm? Am I invited this Friday?” She left  the confines of his bedding, poking a finger in the middle of his chest. She let it linger for a while but Bradley stepped  away, happy mood washed away by her presence. 

Athena seemed to get the hint and stayed put, a pout in place on her sun kissed face. Her freckles were  quite prominent in this light and just for a moment he remembered  all the times he spent kissing her other freckles. Then Thea’s face showed  up in his mind and it’s like Athena never has existed for him.

“Look, I’m sorry about before but I wasn’t in the mood. That hasn’t changed.” Bradley shouldn’t apologise, he knew  that but it might placate her enough for the conversation about to happen. 

He just hoped  it won’t mess with their job. “Listen. This was just physical,” he pointed  between the two of them, “and now… fuck. Listen, you’re great. And I like you, you know that. But I can’t keep this up.” 

She stared him down, the same way she stares down men trying to put her into place. Athena has never looked at him like that, never once. She swallowed  audibly once, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“Are you breaking up with me, Bradshaw?” She jabs, mock hurt on her face. It’s just a joke to her. Bradley feels a little better knowing this won’t cost her any sleep. 

Snorting, he settles on the chair. “Fuck off. You know what I mean. Is this going to be a problem?” 

She laughs, all traces of annoyance gone from her face. She’s Thena again, his friend, confidant and partner in crime. “Don’t worry your little head Bradshaw. We’re good. This was just a little bit of fun.” 

He can suddenly breathe better, the pit in his stomach has vanished . A smile is all he can muster, hoping it will convey everything he can’t say. 

“Do I at least get to meet her? She must be something special if you’re willing to throw this away.” Thena gestured to her body, a pleased smirk plastered across her face. 

“I haven’t even taken her on a date yet. I don’t know if she wants me like that. I just know she’s worth it, whatever it is.” He’s glad Athena is his friend, that he can share and not be judged. 

“God you’re whipped after meeting her one time. She must be a fucking unicorn. Well, I’m happy for you. See you in the skies, Rooster.” They parted  ways with their usual phrase, pressing a kiss to his head as she walked by. 

Feeling content with how everything has been handled, Bradley heads for bed and turns out the lights. 

He and Athena are good, he’s got a date with Thea and Bob gave his approval and permission. Bradley was feeling a lot better now than he did this morning. 

His phone lit up with a notification and his heart dropped into his stomach. It’s a calendar reminder, a picture of him and Maverick. Bradley was barely ten in the photo, sitting on Pete’s shoulders, both smiling widely at Carole behind the camera. 

Reminder: Maverick’s Birthday

He could easily stop torturing himself and not set a reminder but over the years he’s discovered that he likes the pain. 

Another notification pops up, this time from Athena. It’s a goodnight text and a picture of a shirtless guy with the text ‘you wish you were this hot’. 

Bradley recognises the guy as Hangman, Athena’s cousin and also a naval aviator. He’s currently stationed in Lemoore, if Bradley remembered correctly. They’d met once or twice and Bradley couldn’t stand the guy. Rude, arrogant and a walking red flag, he had begged Athena not to make him like her cousin. 

Bradley sends a fuck you back and almost calls her when Thea’s name appears on the screen. 

Can we reschedule for 8 instead of 7? Something came up! 

No problem! Can’t wait! 

Great! Thank you! Goodnight Bradley.

Goodnight Thea. Sweet dreams. 

He then put the phone on silent, puffing his pillow before getting comfortable. 

He thought of that way Thea smiled at him, how her hand felt in his and her lips on his cheek as he closed his eyes. 

“Stop being so nervous. What’s wrong with you? It’s just a date.” 

“It’s not just a date, Thena, it’s the date. I cannot screw this up. It might be the most important date I’ve ever been on.” 

Athena was once again lounging on his bed, trying to be helpful but failing spectacularly. All she did was stress him out even more. Bradley’s palms were sweaty and he was pretty sure he’s sweating through his T-shirt. His throat was dry and he reached out with shaking hands for the bottle of water on the windowsill. 

Thena laughed at him, rolling her eyes. “You’re acting like you’re taking the freaking President out. It’s just a girl. Now, change your shirt so you don’t stink up the car and get going. Or you’re going to be late.” 

Bradley refrained from sniping back that Thea isn’t just some girl, but he also didn’t have it in him to argue. To be honest, he hadn’t wanted her help from the beginning, but she showed up and he couldn’t say no. 

Even though Athena said it was fine and they were still friends, she acted a bit suspicious around him. She promised she wasn’t mad but her actions said otherwise. They had miscalculated a training session yesterday and she had chewed him out in front of the entire crew, which was very rare. 

Athena ended the session with a hard shove to his chest and muttering ‘figures you’d do this’ under her breath as she left him speechless on the runway. 

He had tried to talk about it with her but she ignored him for the rest of the day. Only when it was almost time for him to leave base to pick up Thea, she showed up at his door with her apologies. He didn’t have time for them. She knew he was leaving and she still tried to stall him. 

“I’m going to be late because of you. You knew I was going out and you still showed up here.” He’s panicking now, tugging the shirt over his head and reaching for a clean one. 

“You could have told me to leave, don’t blame this on me.” Athena bit back, her bad mood from before returning. 

“I’m leaving. Bye Thena.” Bradley was halfway out the door, throwing a sloppy wave her way before jogging to the Bronco. 

Had he looked back, he would have seen the downtrodden look on her face. But he didn’t. All Bradley could think about was Thea and her sweet smile.

He made it to the address Thea had texted him on record time. Pulling the car into park and snatching the flowers from the passenger seat, Bradley almost choked on his own tongue when he spotted Thea. 

She was sitting on the front porch, dressed in a light purple sundress and hair in a messy bun. She was exquisite. Bradley desperately wanted to hold her in his arms and never let go. 

“Hey stranger, are those for me?” Thea reached for the flowers, bringing them up to her face to inhale their sweet fragrance. 

He leaned over to press a kiss to her cheek. “You look stunning. Otherworldly.” The blush on her cheeks amplified his desire and he pinched his own arm to keep his focus. 

“Aren’t you charming? How did you know my favourite flowers?” 

“Lucky guess.” She raised an eyebrow. 

“Fine. I asked Bob.” Thea laughed and returned the favour of a kiss pressed to his cheek. “Let me get these in water and we can leave.”

Bradley had never been the guy feeling awestruck by something so simple as a kiss on the cheek. But he found himself touching the spot where her lips had graced his skin as he watched her walk back inside the house. His skin burned from her touch and a tingling sensation spread throughout his body. 

Thea returned to his side and he made sure to open the door for her. His mother didn’t raise a heathen. He could be a gentleman. 

“So, we’re are we going?” She nervously fiddling with her hands in her lap as he leaves her neighbourhood. 

It’s endearing and he hesitantly reached over to intertwine his fingers with hers, keeping the other hand steady on the wheel.

“It’s a surprise. But you’ll like it, I promise. Do you trust me?” He did ask Bob for her favourite food and activities while planning. He planned the make this the perfect date. 

“I do trust you Bradley. I’m just not fond of surprises.” She’s blushing again and Bradley wants to spend his life making her blush. The colour on her cheeks was intoxicating. 

He pulls up outside a cosy little Mediterranean restaurant, reluctantly letting go of her hand in favour of sprinting around the car to help her outside. 

She links her arm through his, eyes sparkling as she takes in their destination. 

“Let me guess, you asked Bob?” She laughs, reaching up to smooth out a wayward curl on his head. 

“Guilty. But it doesn't matter as long as you like it. Do you?” 

“I love it.” 

Bradley can’t help himself. She’s on his arm, looking up at him with the bluest eyes he’s ever seen. They’re beautiful. She’s beautiful. He needs to know what she tastes like. 

He moves slowly, giving her the chance to pull away. But Thea only leans into him and Bradley closes the distance between them. 

Kissing Thea is like a fresh breath of air. It’s like he’s been drowning his entire life and she’s what it’s like coming up for air. His entire body is on fire, every nerve in his system thrumming with excitement. 

He could spend the rest of his life kissing her. She smiled into the kiss, hand curling around the back of his neck. 

“We should head inside. I got us a reservation.” He whispered against her lips. They hesitated to  part from one another, lips hovering close together but not quite touching. 

“Lead the way.”

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[the-everqueen]

Wondering your thoughts on something I’ve noticed a lot in the Sandman fandom - namely, that every fanart or fanfic involving Daniel (based on the show!!) always portrays/describes him as white, despite the fact that show!Danny’s dad is a black man…

i think there's a few factors at work. first (and foremost) people trying to incorporate bits of the comix in the absence of "official" casting (almost every fanart and a lot of fanfics defaulted to Destruction as a white, red-haired man before the actor was announced). Danny in the comix is a blonde baby and then a sort of...ghostly amalgam of a young man who never existed and Morpheus as we knew him (disheveled hair, gaunt figure, sharp cheekbones, dark eyes). what would that look like in the show? i don't know! i'm hoping there's at least a nod to Daniel's human parentage (he's blonde in the comix BECAUSE he's Lyta Hall's son, and in the comix she's blonde), but i think there are a few ways that it could be cast. Danny!Dream as mixed, light-skinned, and/or racially ambiguous could be both really tragic and really compelling: the erasure of where he came from as metaphor for his personal losses (of family, of childhood, of "personhood" in a human sense), and the insistence on some reminder of his parents, his past, as a counter to his "function." i'd love to see that explored in fic! (as someone who also defaults to comix!Daniel - though there IS a reasoning behind this choice in the LA guard dog universe and non-Dreaming aus.)

at the same time, i think it's partially a function of fans getting attached to Tom Sturridge's portrayal of Dream. when s1 came out, i saw some discourse circulating about how already people weren't ready to "lose" him (and i think some of this filtered into the whole "retired" Dream headcanons, though that's another discussion). and i get that if someone else is cast as Danny, there's going to be a...reaction to both the actor figured as a "replacement" for Tom and the character as a "replacement" for the Dream that fans became attached to. which then becomes a possible burden on the actor. Rose's actor, Vanesu Samunyai, got significant backlash for being a Black woman to play a character who was white and blonde in the comix, and i could see that kind of racism seeping into people's reactions to Daniel. (also a fan grief/sadness at the tragic ending used as a "justification" for racism.) it's not clear to me how much support nonwhite actors like Vanesu get when they're cast in these roles where fans might "expect" a white actor. (like...Riordan told Leah Jeffries in the new PJO series not to listen to the haters because he chose her, which is great and all, but...is production working to ensure that she has someone she can safely process her experiences with, is she given reasonable accommodations, is someone else moderating her socials so she doesn't have to deal with trolls?) so that's another consideration.

(obviously the "solution" isn't to never cast nonwhite actors, but there's been an increase in "diverse representation" in media without a discussion of how these predominantly white spaces have material impact on nonwhite creatives.)

last thing is just that i've noticed the sandman fandom generally seems...more reluctant to engage in alt. casting than say, musical theater fandoms, where there's an expectation that the principal actor won't always be in a role or present when you witness the performance. there's this automatic turn toward finding someone who fits, for example, Delirium from the comix in the absence of an official show casting, rather than playing around with the uncertainty. (personally i'm out here championing Bailey Bass as my Delirium face cast, and tbh if they cast the rest of the Endless sibs as white, she and Stephanie Hsu will remain my primary Del references.) which i think is common in fandoms that rely on a visual "text" for reference, and even more so for Neilman tv fandoms, where fans seem to want/expect "word of god" affirmation. again, another discussion, but i'll just say for now i think the fandom suffers for it.

[mcflymemes]

MURDER, SHE WROTE PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue from the television show

suppose you tell me what happened here last night.

i'm looking for motive.

back home, we have a saying. flowers that bloom too quickly are fair game for a late frost.

i don't want to alarm you, but something very sinister is going on here.

all right. we come to an understanding, or one of us doesn't leave here alive.

there are three things you can never have enough of in life: chocolate, friends, and the theatre.

a good guest is like halley's comet. seen and enjoyed seldom and briefly.

you can never nudge the moral compass far from its true north without losing something vital.

i've gotta talk to you.

half the country had reason to kill him.

they do say a new experience broadens the mind.

it's a job requirement.

lie down, dear. lie down. it's a dream, that's all.

that is a marvelously interesting recipe.

send me a copy of the book when it's finished?

you always do, don't you?

you must do quite well.

it's hard to know yourself.

were we ever that innocent?

uh, there's just one slight problem.

there will be two house seats waiting for you the next time you're in town.

in our business... you never know.

i was bored out of my mind.

you are trouble.

now you wait right here.

would you do me the honor of dining with me this evening?

time for you to get back to work.

out for some early morning air?

it's hard to know yourself, let alone another person.

not funny, friend.

funny thing about having your name in lights. when the power fails, you learn a lot about yourself and your "friends."

three more paragraphs and i can go to bed.

the party tonight? we're coming as our favorite fictional character.

i doubt that any of us despised him enough to kill him.

that's what you're all thinking, isn't it?

what's wrong with this phone?

who ever heard of framing someone with the wrong gun?

at least... i don't think i did.

well, how about a toast for later?

how soon can you get down here?

i don't know. i haven't made up my mind yet.

is that you?

look, it's an interesting puzzle. i'll give it a try.

i've got the name of a very good lawyer.

they've told me absolutely nothing about you.

i'm so sorry. i should have told you.

you haven't got a thing to wear.

you have my word on it.

i do believe you're offering me a job.

don't you go to the movies?

you've been seeing too many stephen king movies.

rudeness does not become you.

people do seem to enjoy it.

just as i suspected. when under stress, the english always head for the teapot.

i'm not used to being refused.

i haven't read any of them.

permit me the pleasure of educating you.

television is your business, not mine.

i don't usually give advice, but in this case, i say... go for it.

you must be a real book lover!

how good of you to come.

is there anything else you need?

they asked if maybe you wouldn't mind bending the truth just a little.

yeah, that's nice... but no thanks.

hey, isn't that something.

that isn't what i meant at all.

there's not much to tell.

now i may be wrong... but frankly, i doubt it.

we didn't have much in common.

i'm sorry honey, but we're just dying in here.

help is on the way!

i can be very persuasive.

how about a pair of pants?

i sure know how to pick 'em, don't i?

how could i refuse?

why don't you take some advice?

i haven't eaten a thing since breakfast.

slander can be an expensive indulgence.