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myfairstarlight · 5 months

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For Every Question Why - Chapter 6

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Rated: T Chapter length: 6k Chapter summary:

Through the Arrangement, an angel has the uncomfortable realisation they are prone to jealousy and bouts of anger much more easily than an angel like them should be.

*all additional notes on ao3

⋆ ✩₊˚ ʚ♡ɞ ˚₊✩⋆

Heaven

Janiel walks as casually as he can manage to as he makes his way through the hallowed halls of Heaven. In some way, he should not be here, he handed in his latest report only a week prior and he has no meeting to attend to. Sure, no one should bat an eye that he’s here to take a break from Earth but he has business to attend to and he’s trying to avoid Raphael without making it blatantly obvious.

The Archangel has been oddly… sociable. Always present now when Janiel comes back to report, standing next to Michael with a friendly smile Janiel knew was only a pretty facade. Raphael has always been more of a loner, too busy loving her stars to care about anything else Heaven, and even less Earth, is up to, and yet here she constantly is now, actually taking part in the role her title bestowed upon her.

Or as Janiel likes to call it: nagging him into annoyance.

“Seraphim Janiel!” the voice he was searching for says and he perks up, making a U-turn to face Muriel who smiles brightly, a report held tightly to their chest.

“Muriel, wonderful, is that what I think it is?”

The Scrivener nods. “Everything about the original blueprints for Earth and humans. About that emotion you asked for, LOVE, however...”

“Mm?”

“Unfortunately I could not access those files, Archangel Raphael took them and Seraphim Cassiel said they could not make a copy without them as the original file of the angel who created LOVE could not be found.”

Janiel holds back a groan. That… is his fault, ultimately. He did not think destroying Astrophel’s file would have such a consequence but it makes sense, everything the demon worked on would have been in there. He supposes he could directly ask Astrophel but the demon’s eyes always darken whenever Janiel mentions Before and that is a sight he’d rather not witness if he can help it. He still lets out a disappointed sigh as he grabs the files Muriel hands him.

“Sorr—”

“Don’t fret it, Muriel, it’s not your fault,” Janiel cuts them off immediately. “This is already more than helpful, thank you.”

The angel beams in a way that now reminds Janiel of small puppies back on Earth. He chuckles, patting their head.

Not long after, he lets them go so the Scrivener may resume their usual work and Janiel hurries out of Heaven with the files safely tucked within his clothes.

He meant to do all this research right after Pompeii’s incident — but truth be told, he got distracted and Heaven suddenly handed him more assignments than he was used to, then the Arrangement came to be and for a while, all of Janiel’s worries were washed away by pure glee. The thing is, seeing Astrophel so naturally saving seemingly insignificant humans made Janiel realise how… inadequate he truly was. He’s supposed to be the guardian angel, after all, what did it say about him that Astrophel did the job he was supposed to do without so much of a thought? And while feeling incredibly guilty about it?

(That just was not fair. Thus the idea of the Arrangement was born.)

He loves humans as well, he’s an angel, he ought to, he got extremely attached in perhaps too many instances for how fleeting humans are, and yet— there’s not much he tried to do to protect them.

(Then again, the job description was to protect them from Hell, but it turns out Astrophel doesn’t even want to truly harm them, no, throughout the years, in all the moments wherein he could have acted, Janiel would have had to protect them from Heaven.)

And LOVE. The very human kind of love, so distinct from the one he and his fellow angels feel for all Her creatures, what an enigma of an emotion it is, especially now that none of them has a proper file on the subject. Janiel has been feeling flashes of it whenever near Astrophel, the warm Emotion still pulsing gently within the demon’s soul whenever the latter interacts with humans. For one can never truly separate a creation from its creator.

He wonders…

As his feet touch Earth’s ground again, Janiel clutches his shirt where his body’s heart is beating very intensely all the while looking up into a dark, starry night over London. It is a constant rhythm, hammering in his ears, uncomfortable and yet all too familiar.

What a strange creation that is, LOVE. Invisible, and yet a force that makes the world turn. Perhaps greater than the stars he once shaped.

He shall cherish it as well.

⋆ ✩₊˚ ʚ♡ɞ ˚₊✩⋆

The Globe Theatre — London. 1601.

Janiel sniffs as he makes his way through the busy crowd of the Globe Theatre. Fortunately, Astrophel’s white curls always manage to stand out no matter what.

(Or perhaps he is the only presence Janiel cares to pay attention to.)

Unfortunately, that poet is also near, awfully close to the demon and it does not help that Astrophel seems pleased to have the man’s undivided attention. Janiel holds in a sigh— well, that explains the abundant crowd despite this being one of Shakespeare's gloomiest plays yet. For all his angelic disposition and undemonic positivity, Astrophel sure has a peculiar taste for the tragic stories humans like to create for entertainment all the while frowning down at violence and instruments of torture.

(“Violence is the easy option. Manipulation and psychological warfare, now that's worth worrying about and is much more praise-worthy, I believe. It destroys without leaving a trace, or well, obvious ones in the immediate aftermath,” Astrophel had said one day, fingers scratching at the corner of his eyes absently and the angel wisely did not question it. It was a good reminder that Astrophel was still a demon and was not running from it either.)

Ever since the Arrangement has been in place, Astrophel has loosened up a bit, no longer keeping a safe distance from humans like he used to and becoming wholly involved in the lives of the ones that caught his eye. A lot of them are writers, which is of no surprise, although he cannot read, Astrophel has always thoroughly enjoyed listening to the humans. He is certain a good half of William's poems must be in some way inspired by the demon.

(... And because Janiel is aware the man stole some of his words while they all shared a drink and some praises left the angel's lips.)

It made Janiel realise how unremarkable most humans are to him, that he only got attached when God set Her grip on one and Janiel felt the inner need to protect them as much as he could.

It has been a good while since She has interfered in any way on Earth, now that he thinks about it. He should be grateful for it but ever since Metatron has risen in ranks, now becoming the Voice of God. Enoch was never one Janiel appreciated much as a human, so as an angel, and his superior? He almost wishes God would mess around with Earth again if only so he would not have to deal with Metatron so much.

“Janiel!” Astrophel calls, to Janiel's surprise. The angel grins, sauntering over and not missing the pout now framing William's mouth. “You've been standing there for a while without greeting me?”

“Apologies, starlight, I got distracted by the play,” he replies and frowns at the dark-tinted glasses hiding the demon's eyes. That is a new development as well. He hates them. “Hello Bill,” he says next with a nonchalant wave.

“Mm,” is all the response the famed dramaturge gives him.

Astrophel nudges the angel who grunts and then quickly corrects, “I mean William. Enjoying the success?” Janiel gives his friend a pointed glance at that and Astrophel must have sensed it because he turns his head the other way with a tiny huff.

“I’m merely happy to see others enjoy my more serious creations, despite what you warned me about, good sir.”

“I do like the funny ones better,” Janiel admits. “Enough gloominess in the world, I do not see the point of seeing more of it.”

“That is your problem, I fear.”

Janiel grunts and ensues a glaring contest between him and the human until Astrophel clears his throat.

“William dear, will you excuse us?”

Janiel is barely able to suppress his satisfied smile. Ha! I won! An arrogant voice chimes happily in his mind.

The poet looks particularly disgruntled but he nods. “Of course, dear Aster. Please find me after the show before you depart for Edinburgh, will you?”

“Naturally,” Astrophel agrees, patting his shoulder. “Now shoo, your actors probably need you.”

Astrophel almost shoves him away afterwards with the way William seems quite reluctant to move but eventually, the man leaves, not without another glare in Janiel's direction.

“He doesn't like me,” the angel states. “See if I let him steal my words ever again.”

“You do nag him a lot, even about his funny plays,” Astrophel says.

“To keep him on his toes, it’d be a shame if he lets go because of the success and his next creations lack in quality, don’t you think?”

The demon makes a face. “I suppose so.”

“So, Edinburgh, huh?”

Astrophel hums. “Ah yes, minor temptations to perform, it should only take a few.”

“I’m actually due to go to Edinburgh soon as well, small blessings here and there…” He circles Astrophel as he speaks, leaning ever so slightly into the demon’s aura. To be honest, he just enjoys the way Astrophel tilts his head as if to chase the sound of his voice.

“Oh!” the demon exclaims. “Then no worries dear, I can take care of those so you don’t have to bother with travelling.”

Janiel falters. “Uh— are you sure? I’m supposed to ride a horse and I know how you hate that, hard on the buttocks. I really need a word with whoever was in charge of their design.”

Astrophel stifles a laugh. “It’ll be alright, I got used to it.” The demon leans back, continuing to eat the grapes he has gathered in his left palm. Janiel steals one and pops it between his teeth.

“Y’know, I still have yet to perform temptations for you, it feels kinda unfair to you,” he points out, as casually as he can manage without sounding like a reproach.

“Really? I do not see the issue.”

“Starlight… the Arrangement, it’s been almost a thousand years and so far it feels more like I’m exploiting you than helping you. And I—” Janiel takes a deep breath while Astrophel slowly turns to him, even lowering his glasses so star-filled eyes settle on him expectantly. He’s always hated being so… honest about his feelings but something about the demon… “I feel bad about it, alright? Sure, a part of me suggested this arrangement so I’d have less work to do but I didn't mean to dump it all on you!” And he does hate the fact it took him this long to even realise. “So please, just let me help. Unless you worry I’m not fit to do temptations in which case, why don’t you teach me? Could be fun, and—”

“Janiel,” Astrophel cuts him off and suddenly, a pale chubby hand reaches for his chin, pulling him down. Janiel splutters, certain that his face has gone aflame at the sudden touch and proximity. “Temptations are far from fun. They go against everything an angel like you should strive for lest they want to Fall.”

The angel draws out a shaky breath. From this angle he gets a better look at the demon’s eyes behind those damn glasses — they glow darkly, the stars swirling into an endless nebula, agitated, frustrated. It's a warning, almost a threat.

And it makes him wonder why Astrophel even agreed to an Arrangement if he worried about causing Janiel to Fall.

“I know, I was joking,” he says softly, grabbing Astrophel’s wrist, prompting him to loosen his grip on his chin. Janiel grins, holding Astrophel’s hand and keeping it close to his chest. “I can tell you do not enjoy performing them either, so don’t use the angel excuse on me.” In any case, I am not scared to Fall if you're there to catch me, he doesn't add.

“Mm.”

“So let me lighten the burden, alright?” The demon does not answer. “Come on, that was part of the deal. It’s not like all my blessings are easy work either.”

“Your reports and the way you write were laughably easy to copy. And I’m blind,” Astrophel says.

“Hey! Giving them low-effort reports means they won’t expect more,” Janiel argues.

“By that, I mean the temptations themselves would not even be the issue, the issue would be you trying to imitate my writing style.”

“What? Sounding like an entitled prick? Like that’s complicated.”

Astrophel gasps, but it’s light-hearted at best. “I’ll have Crowley steal all your jewellery for the next century again.”

“Speaking of, one of my rings is still missing, you would not happen to know anything about that?”

The demon grins innocently. “No.”

Janiel rolls his eyes. He can feel the aforementioned ring between his fingers right this moment. Of course, he’s noticed Astrophel kept it for himself forever ago but to be quite honest, he likes the sight of it there. Gold suits the demon lovingly.

“You can do both the blessings and temptations in Edinburgh, but next time I get dibs, alright?”

Astrophel sighs. “Alright.”

“Promise me?” Janiel winces, hoping this doesn’t come out as insecure.

Astrophel nods, then brings their joined hands to his mouth so he may drop a kiss on Janiel’s knuckles. “I promise.”

Before Janiel can react, the crowd suddenly alights with cheers and loud clappings, startling him. Astrophel slips away.

The angel brings his now-freed hand to his cheek with a grumble. He felt a burst of LOVE at the press of those plump lips against his skin, he can’t make sense of it.

⋆ ✩₊˚ ʚ♡ɞ ˚₊✩⋆

Venice — 1753.

Janiel groans as she fusses over her mask and dress, trying to avoid it being trumped over by all the humans surrounding her and rushing past her.

Temptations, as it turns out, are much more complicated to accomplish than Janiel expected them to be. She’s not exactly happy with Heaven, Gabriel’s deceptive positive attitude as well as Michael’s stern glare are a pain to deal with, especially now with Raphael’s added presence but at least every assignment Janiel has been handed was carefully explained, from a complete history of the humans concerned to the preferred method to approach them, as well as a quota of miracles to not exceed — not that most of these blessings have needed a lot of miracles anyway. Janiel likes to think of herself as a free-spirited angel, but also a quite lazy one; if Heaven was arranging things so her missions could go as smoothly as possible, she was not going to stop and think of an alternative way to handle the blessings, most times.

Hell’s instructions, on the other hand, are the vaguest things she has ever read. The note that Astrophel slipped her earlier that week only read ‘There is a man in Venice, you know the rest’.

(That is without mentioning the egregious spelling mistakes in such a short instruction.)

She could have asked Astrophel for pointers but that would also mean accepting defeat and angels are not supposed to be prideful but damn it if Janiel would rather not ask for help with the way Astrophel has effortlessly handled her blessings before. She’s made progress, though! Perhaps slower than she would have hoped. The “man” Hell seems to refer to must be one Giacomo Casanova, a self-proclaimed adventurer and lover of life, who’s been causing quite the chaos and has already been accused of debauchery and heresy — why he has not been arrested yet is a miracle in itself. Taking a page out of Astrophel’s book, Janiel opted for a more female-presenting appearance after hearing of the man’s tendency to seduce any woman he so much as lays his eyes on, assuming it would thus make it easier to grab his attention and sink him deeper into sin. And, as Janiel scans the carnival in search of the not-so-gentleman, she can throw a wild guess on how the man has escaped sanctions because she could recognise the platinum curls of the being standing right next to him anywhere.

(The owl perched on his shoulder as if it were part of the costume helps as well.)

She sees the exact moment Astrophel senses her presence because he subtly freezes, no longer listening to whatever Giacomo is whispering directly into his ear, and additional feathers pop from under his mask — the demon has always been awful at hiding his anxieties in front of her.

Janiel snaps her fingers and stops time around them before Astrophel can even think of running away.

“Care to explain, starlight?” she hisses.

“Now that is cheating,” Astrophel huffs, slowly removing his mask. White feathers fall slowly to the ground at the action. “If you wanted a dance you could just ask, dear.”

“Don’t do that right now, I’m mad at you,” Janiel says. Her heels click loudly in the silence as she closes the distance between them. “What are you doing here?!”

“Enjoying life, what else would I be doing in the capital of decadence?” Astrophel responds with a nonchalant shrug.

“Which is your doing, even though you agreed to let me handle this one.”

The demon does not reply but Nebula headbutts the side of his head, as if admonishing him in her way. Janiel suddenly feels a kinship with the bird.

“You didn’t trust me to do this,” Janiel accuses.

“Janiel that's not—” Astrophel cuts himself off, groaning. “It’s not that I don’t trust you.”

“It sure looks like it.”

“Lord Beelzebub was starting to get worried and I could not get my hands on you! I only meant to give you a starting point and I would have been gone in no time.”

“You’re still here,” the angel deadpans.

“I got distracted. I was meant to leave before the carnival… but it is quite an entertaining time. Congratulations on creating such a lovely tradition.”

Despite herself, Janiel flushes at the compliment. “Why thank you— hold on I’m still mad at you!”

Astrophel discreetly curses under his breath. “That usually works…”

It clicks then— Janiel blinks. This is what happened every single time Janiel tried to bring up the Arrangement and convince the demon to let her do her part, Astrophel would absent-mindedly mention one of her previous missions, effectively distracting her when she, inevitably, ended up gushing about her latest lovely creations indeed. Or he would fluster her, one way or another. A kiss on the cheek, on the hand, a pretty little bow…

A strange sensation stings at her eyes and she throws her mask away when she starts to feel it stick to her skin. Ah, tears. That’s new.

“You know what, this is not working. Perhaps you were right, this was a bad idea. Have fun with that adventurer of yours, Astrophel.”

“Janiel—”

With a quick miracle, she teleports outside of the carnival as time resumes its course.

⋆ ✩₊˚ ʚ♡ɞ ˚₊✩⋆

Paris — 1793

Janiel watches people run by with an exasperated expression. He has the feeling he may have failed this particular mission, Heaven probably did not mean “cause a revolution” as a way to re-establish order in France but hey, French people like to be overly dramatic, he supposes. He’ll have to find a way to explain all this away in his report, that everything will turn out alright eventually, and avoid any parallel with Heaven’s history in the process.

(Especially with Robespierre barely hiding his thirst for blood without any demon on the horizon, Heaven generally does not like the ‘humans are just like that’ explanation so Janiel tries to avoid it, even though it just is the truth, only humans ever kill each other with clever machines and flimsy reasons. He thinks it is quite ironic how Heaven is not so much a fan of blood baths anymore when they were responsible for many in the past.)

It’s been difficult, lately, to focus on his missions. One of the many reasons why is that he hasn’t seen Astrophel in over four decades. He hasn’t sought the demon out the whole time and neither did the demon, although he’s been able to sense his presence more than once. Admittedly, that is a very short time for them when they used to go centuries without catching a glimpse of the other, but Janiel got used to seeing his starlight at least once a century, to set up, well, the Arrangement that wasn’t really one, in the end.

Thinking back, maybe he overreacted. Hell must be less lenient than Heaven when it comes to missions, and if Astrophel has been as much of an exemplary agent as he seems to be, Beelzebub probably would not take well to the demon suddenly lacking in his missions and Janiel has to assume Hell isn’t one to just send a strongly worded note to tell you to hurry it up a bit. Janiel knows Gabriel doesn’t care if he takes more time than usual as long as he brings results, and either way, Janiel can lie his way out of it, Gabriel is surprisingly gullible. Astrophel also warned him that that particular temptation in Venice was not the simple, easy kind of temptation since it involved influencing a whole city through a chain of reaction rather than a few humans into causing a little mayhem, or something. Still, Astrophel could have told him so at least they could have figured it out together!

Or perhaps he was way in over his head — he truly was clueless about how to proceed successfully and he should have asked Astrophel for… lessons of some sort, or any kind of advice. He did insist vehemently to be given this assignment and he’s never been good at listening and being patient. Did he make Astrophel feel like he couldn’t say no? No. He has to stop giving the demon excuses, Astrophel has never had struggles telling him no before, and Janiel never insists when he starts to see discomfort settle on the demon’s face.

Still… he misses him… or her… or however the demon is deciding to present nowadays, not that Janiel would know. Last time they talked, Astrophel mentioned wanting to open some sort of antique shop in London as an excuse to store some of the books his favourite writers have gifted him.

“Why a shop and not, I don’t know, a museum? You do not even plan on selling anything,” Janiel had pointed out.

“Precisely!” Astrophel cheered. His smile made him glow against the cloudy Londonian sky. “And isn’t there anything more malicious than offering such an exquisite collection of items only to not be able to purchase it? It would be a perfect way to frustrate and annoy humans without actually hurting them.”

“Mm, I still think you’re complicating this more than necessary. You know how stubborn humans can be, especially rich ones.”

And now Janiel watches as rich French people have their heads separated from their bodies. He laughs to himself, perhaps a bit crudely. Once upon a time, he would have foolishly tried to stop them, influencing everyone into embracing peace the way he tried to soothe an angered, desperate Cain from enacting humanity’s first truly evil act.

And that’s when he hears it.

“Apparemment, ils ont attrapé un aristocrate britannique ce matin,” a revolutionary says, sounding rather hesitant on the matter. “Je ne pense pas qu’on veuille déclarer la guerre tout de suite…”

Janiel perks up. Word travels fast, he doubts any British of a high social class would be dumb enough to cross the Channel unless they had a death wish. Which means—

“Quel dommage, tout de même. De ce que j’ai pu voir, il a un minois bien mignon avec ses bouclettes blondes et ses faux airs d'innocence. Aucune cervelle dans cette jolie tête, ceci dit,” another man comments. “Vu que c’est le premier anglais ils comptent en faire un spectacle, on risque de voir sa tête rouler dans à peine une heure.”

Right, that’s a sign for the angel to get moving. Opting for the discrete approach, Janiel puts a simple cloaking miracle on himself so no human would bat an eye in his direction then he quickly makes his way towards La Conciergerie where he knows all to-be-beheaded prisoners are kept ever since Bastille fell during the first battle.

As he suspected, he finds a peculiar demon nonchalantly waiting in a lower cell, humming to himself as he fiddles with the chains around his wrists. The angel teleports inside, catching the demon perking up at the sound of his feet landing near him.

“Took you long enough,” Astrophel tuts just as Janiel stops time around them when he sees two guards approaching.

“Wh— hold on, I’m not the one who found himself about to lose his head! What are you even doing in Paris, at a time like this, and dressed like that!”

Indeed, Janiel may have never seen the occult being dressed in such a lavish get-up, layers of laces and golden embroidery decorating the edges of the dark coats. He almost reaches forward to feel the fabric under his fingertips — Astrophel has always been partial to any soft and yet intricate clothing and he has also always been intent on buying actual clothes rather than miracling them the way Janiel does, something about authenticity and how he can always tell when the fabric is more ethereal than human.

“I was… feeling peckish,” Astrophel lies, badly.

“Peckish,” Janiel deadpans.

“Well, you can hardly get good crêpes in London, now can you?”

“So what, you popped across the Channel because you wanted something to nibble?”

“I have standards!” the demon gasps dramatically, chains rattling as he clutches invisible pearls around his neck.

This is ridiculous, Janiel thinks, and even so, a smile threatens to tug at his lips just at the familiarity of their banter and the way Astrophel seems to positively glow, proud of his little act.

“You could have gotten discorporated.”

“You wouldn’t have let me.”

These words spoken now almost two thousand years ago ring truer than ever before because here Janiel is, running right after this reckless demon, who seems to like intentionally getting into trouble.

“I… also needed to know,” Astrophel says after a while, face softening, almost vulnerable, “if you would show up. After everything.”

Janiel cannot help being surprised by the sudden honesty.

“A bit of an extreme method for that,” he points out.

“I have standards,” the demon repeats but this time it is said in a teasing tone and a sweet, familiar smile graces his lips. “We both know you enjoy it too.”

“Ah, well,” Janiel mumbles, feeling his cheeks flush. It is a truth neither of them had dared to speak out loud, even during the Arrangement. “I am here.” Of course, I am. I missed you.

“I wanted to apologise,” the demon says in earnest. “For Venice. And even before that. The truth is, I was terrified.” He sighs, throwing his head back as if avoiding Janiel’s gaze. “I’ve truly got nothing to lose from the Arrangement, but you? My dear, if Heaven ever catches on… so I did intentionally… take advantage of the way you easily get distracted so you wouldn't notice I never allowed you to take on any of my missions. Although… I’m a demon, I’m not sure what else you expected from me, of course I’d end up deceiving you, one way or another, I cannot help it.”

Janiel frowns at that last part. The angel could detect a strange mix of emotions — sincerity and dishonesty somehow warped into one contradicting feeling.

“You have a strange definition of deceit, starlight, what you did benefited me and burdened you with more work. That was kind, even if clumsily executed.”

Feathers puff up from the demon’s face. “I’m not kind,” he hisses.

“Any case, I was more upset because I thought you did not trust me to do your temptations,” Janiel admits in turn. “I don’t know how many times I have to tell you until you believe me that you do not need to protect me.”

Astrophel sighs. “I am… sorry.”

“Mm, I want a proper apology,” Janiel decides, earning an offended gasp. “A whole dance or something,” he teases next. He quite enjoys having the upper hand, for once, after all.

“I can hardly do that with those handcuffs.”

“Oh I think you can,” the angel drawls, using a miracle to tug the shackles closer, forcing the demon to follow the motion until they’re face to face. “Or you could teach me how to tempt.”

“Huh?”

“Show me! Seduce me!” He’s not quite sure why that is the first suggestion that passes through his lips.

“Janiel you’re an angel, you’re predisposed to resist direct temptations from demons,” Astrophel sighs. Janiel wants to refute — it is precisely because the demon kept distracting him with gentle touches and temptations of alone time around copious amounts of alcohol that Janiel kept getting distracted. “In any case, you do know that is not the only kind of temptation I do, right? In fact, seductions are hardly my department, that’d be Asmodeus—”

“So that Shakespeare fella and Casanova were, what, side projects?”

“Friends, they were friends, Janiel,” Astrophel corrects. “Do you want to talk or scream at me some more about the imaginary version of me frolicking with humans you have in your mind?”

Janiel harrumphs.

“... You’re not actually mad about this whole thing, you were just upset I was friends with some humans!” Astrophel realises. “Janiel!”

“Oh bloody He— uh, Somewhere,” Janiel groans. “I was upset by you deciding what’s best without consulting me! Seeing you be so…” He waves a hand. “With humans, while I was lazing around did not help the matter either. It felt like… you chose them… over me.” He winces at his admission.

“Janiel…”

“It’s just…” The angel searches Astrophel’s face, seeing the way the stars in his eyes swirl gently, a small smile playing on his pink lips. Before thinking better of it, Janiel reaches forward the way Astrophel had once done, grabbing his chin and tipping it up so their noses almost touch. The demon’s breath catches in his throat. “I don’t know. The Arrangement was supposed to allow us more time together, instead it pulled you away from me.”

“You’re being silly,” comes the amused but oh-so-affectionate response. “No one could ever compare to you.”

Janiel breathes in. A flash of LOVE blinds him for a few seconds.

He’s still not sure what it means.

“So… about the lessons…?”

“Very well, I suppose if it prevents me from dealing with an impatient Beelzebub again, I ought to show you how to properly accomplish a hellish assignment.”

Janiel bites back a victorious smile. “What now, starlight?” It feels like a lifetime, or rather, several, since the last time he uttered that question.

“We carry on, dear,” Astrophel replies, as usual, then he pointedly lifts his wrists. “I’d also like to get out of these now.”

The angel pinches his nose, causing the demon to yelp and take a step back. “You can do it yourself.” Astrophel pouts. “Ugh, fine!”

(He gives in incredibly quickly, thinks a certain omniscient entity from above as She observes them.)

With a snap of his fingers, the shackles fall and the demon grins brightly. Astrophel hums as he massages his wrists then promptly miracles his aristocratic clothes into the ragged revolutionary uniform Janiel is also wearing.

“Do you want to hear something funny?” the demon says.

“Mm?”

“I did have an assignment in Paris, I was meant to encourage Robespierre into… well. Imagine my surprise when I arrived and the city was already in chaos. Caused by you, no less.” Astrophel chuckles and pats his arm. “Perhaps I was wrong, temptations may come more easily than I thought to you. You just were overthinking Venice.”

Janiel probably should not feel as proud as he feels at the moment.

“Let’s go get crêpes and have a first proper lesson, shall we?” he offers and with no surprise, Astrophel gladly agrees.

⋆ ✩₊˚ ʚ♡ɞ ˚₊✩⋆

Heaven

Janiel prepared for a reprimand the moment he got a note from Raphael telling him to come back to Heaven. He’s still reeling from everything that happened in the last decades and how wonderfully his reconciliation with Astrophel has gone, he sure is not in the mood to have his bliss obliterated by his ex-boss’s nagging.

Especially since he and Astrophel were careful to swap their reports regarding this French Revolution incident. The demon took credit for the reign of terror taking over the capital, meanwhile, Janiel took credit for the revolutionaries’ determination and for setting in motion the creation of a new government.

(As it turns out, Astrophel had been in Paris a good while before he purposely got arrested, monitoring Janiel’s accidental temptation and making up for the chaos by doing blessings of his own.)

“Janiel!” Raphael greets him immediately as she grabs his arm and teleports them into her office. The Seraphim has to blink and take a couple of seconds to register the fact the Archangel sounds delighted. “You should have told me of your ulterior motive!”

“My… um yes, of course,” he stammers. “What are we talking about?”

“Your special project, the demon Astrophel! Oh, Janiel, aren’t you brilliant, I knew I should have trusted you!”

“... Thank you? It, uh, it hasn’t reached its goal just yet,” he says, trying to be as vague as possible, thoroughly confused as to what Raphael means.

“I bet, it cannot be easy, pretending you even enjoy that demon’s company, what a kind sacrifice on your part,” Raphael gushes and she still has not let go of his arm. “What a glorious development! A demon, powerful at that, performing blessings in our favour… how did you even manage that?”

“Oh well,” Janiel chuckles. “Astrophel is… special, let’s say.” He says carefully. He refuses to lie and insult his friend behind his back, although he’s sure Astrophel would understand if he were to hear of this but by principle, the angel would rather not lower himself to that. “Getting his trust has been no easy journey. See, I could not defeat him by simply smiting him like other demons Hell has been sending to Earth so I had to get creative.”

Raphael hums, finally letting go of his arm. “Flawless plan, if he ever gets found out by Hell, it's of no consequence to us anyhow. They’ll deal with him and we’ll still have a head start on them.”

Janiel grins sardonically. “Precisely.” Inside, he wants to run.

“Brilliant, you’re a fine strategist. I do understand now why you think Earth is so entertaining. My, my, making a demon believe he could be forgiven, it would almost be cruel,” the Archangel muses. Janiel stiffens ever so slightly — he remembers another demon uttering similar sentiments. “But oh well, She cast them out for a reason, and it is not to take them back when the war descends upon us no matter how much they try to grovel. It benefits us, at the very least.”

The Seraphim remains quiet for a couple of moments, eyes narrowing as they observe Raphael. “Out of curiosity, have you talked to anyone about this…? I was hoping to talk about it to Gabriel myself and perhaps earn a promotion, you know.”

“Oh, no worries, I figured you’d want your moment of glory, you always do,” Raphael answers easily. Janiel winces, not really eager to remember how boastful he used to be about his stars. “Do you need me to set up a meeting right about now?”

“No, no!” Janiel refuses. “I will do so myself in time, once I’m sure I have the demon under my grip. He’s amenable right now but who knows...” This wasn’t a lie, at least. Janiel has grown used to Astrophel’s hot-and-cold attitude although he is hopeful it is bound to change now that they’ve cleared the air.

“Of course, of course, you can never be too careful with these demons.”

Janiel smiles blandly as a dark thought starts brewing in his mind.

So his liaison with Astrophel is still safe, go figure Raphael, as observant as ever, would be the first one to notice rather than Gabriel or Michael or even Metatron. This means that to keep the secret safe…

He will need another favour from Astrophel soon enough, he reckons. And perhaps he can give him one in return, he muses.

#good omens #good omens fic #good omens fanfic #reverse omens au #i swear one day i'll change that tag but not today #aziracrow #ineffable spouses #ineffable husbands #my fics

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nsfwhiphop · 3 months

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Incoming Text AREA 51 Studies for @santinihoudini and @MarcAnthony :

Like adoptive Father & adoptive daughter.

Dear Marc & Christina Santini,

We invite you to explore a significant discovery regarding the father-daughter relationship between Claire Bennet and Noah Bennet (adoptive father). It is essential that you delve into this compelling dynamic.

As you embark on your roles as adoptive father and adoptive daughter, the relationship between Claire and Noah Bennet from the Heroes TV series offers a compelling example to follow. Their story underscores the importance of implementing stringent security measures to safeguard your privacy and protect yourselves from potential harm.

Studying the Heroes series, particularly the dynamic between Claire and Noah Bennet, will provide valuable insights into navigating this new lifestyle. This knowledge will be especially beneficial for Christina as she prepares to join our family, equipping her with an understanding of the rules and responsibilities akin to those depicted in the AREA 51 lifestyle.

Elon Musk is the AREA 51 leader, so you must take orders only from him. Don't let anyone else discuss AREA 51 matters with you. Only Elon Musk is authorized to guide you in all AREA 51-related affairs. If someone claims affiliation with AREA 51 without Elon Musk's approval, do not engage with them and ensure your protection by closing the door on these intrusions. Strict adherence to these rules is crucial to safeguard your lives.

Here is a short dialogue:

This is what you have to expect from Intruders:

Intruders: "Hey Marc Anthony, you can trust us. We're agents from AREA 51. Come have a chat with us."

Marc Anthony: "Do you have Elon Musk's approval?"

Intruders: "No, we don't have Elon's approval."

Marc Anthony: "If you don't have Elon's approval, then I can't give you mine. You must get Elon Musk's stamp of approval, and only then will I agree to open the door and chat with you. That's the security guideline we follow for all AREA 51 matters. Elon is our leader."

Intruders: "Well, at least I tried, right? Thanks for your time. Goodbye Marc."

Marc Anthony: "Goodbye, intruders!"

I trust this information proves helpful as you prepare for the next chapter ahead.

Best regards,

Your friend and guardian angel,

Angelo.

1- Marc Anthony is like Noah Bennet. (adoptive father).

2- Christina Santini is like Claire Bennet. (adoptive daughter).

Who is Claire Bennet?

Claire Bennet is a key character in the NBC psychological thriller and superhero drama series Heroes, portrayed by Hayden Panettiere. She first appeared in the pilot episode, "Genesis," on September 25, 2006. Claire, a high school cheerleader, possesses the extraordinary ability of rapid cellular regeneration, allowing her to heal quickly from any injury.

Throughout the series, Claire appears in more episodes than any other character, totaling 72 episodes, with a 73rd appearance through stock footage. In the continuation series Heroes Reborn, Claire dies while giving birth to her twins, Malina and Tommy.

Claire's power grants her an incredibly high pain tolerance. While she feels pain as intensely as anyone else, her ability swiftly dulls it. The series writers, Joe Pokaski and Aron Coleite, noted that Claire "feels pain, but not the way most of us do." Claire herself explains to her friend West, "I feel pain; I just get over it quickly." This combination of pain tolerance and rapid healing has led to comparisons between Claire and the X-Men character Wolverine, though Claire is "less hairy and without claws," as Hayden Panettiere humorously points out.

After having her brain examined by the antagonist Sylar, Claire mentions that she no longer feels physical pain at all.

Who is Noah Bennet (adoptive father).

Noah Bennet, portrayed by Jack Coleman, is a major character in the NBC drama Heroes and its sequel series Heroes Reborn. Initially an anti-hero, Noah evolves into a hero in Heroes Reborn.

At first glance, Noah Bennet appears to be an ordinary businessman working for the Primatech Paper Company and living in Odessa, Texas, with his wife Sandra and their two children, Claire and Lyle. However, beneath this facade, Noah and his associates travel the world investigating superhuman phenomena, tracking down, and experimenting on individuals with extraordinary abilities.

Noah operates in a morally gray area, earning him the moniker of "Company Man," as he executes the often dubious orders of the company. Despite his professional duties, Noah's true allegiance lies with his family, revealing a complex character driven by both duty and a deep sense of familial loyalty.

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solardick · 3 months

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Card letter Xh. Seems it may be well suited to be the beggar. Which is laughable to what it means to the tarot. Being the sun card. A sun card depicting a woman and a man in each others company. Leaning to the ramantic and joyful. Everytime i came across a cloud Omen. As they all seem to be. As Omens and not portents. The X signified some sort of let down, or disappointment. A nullification. Even though ive come across the sun card manifestation in the literal sense as two children playing. A boy and a girl. It never leads to completion.

Coniferous, brushwood, hut. bad, evil, cherub, laughter, thin, lean, ill, art, choir, pretty, bachelor, cool, cold, cotton, invalid. Cunning, theft, predator, drunk, intoxication, christianity. Abuse, hooligan, maybe not the beggar.

Letter Xh. On overlay. The pronunciation. Doesn’t exist in english. It is described as a Kh. Being a close semblance to H. Is curious in itself as H is the lovers card. With cupid. A cherub. And X is the sun as lovers. Albeit. A difference form of love. More towards innocence than passion. The appearance of a cherub. Isn’t far from a scene of a chanting choir in the background. A poor weak single man. It mixes in elements from the marseille’s fool card.

A crow on one side, a dove on the other. Seems to fit in-between the etteilla death card and my revised priestess card. As it does also paint the image of a thief. In the scene of desperation. And wiilingness to do the crime in the name for better. So maybe a switching is is order. And a look into letter Ee.

But, what is a cherub? Biblically speaking the cherub isn’t what is considered an angel. It’s more of a guardian at the gate. And are inhuman. Present with some human qualities. Namely the head to be given the ability to speak. The Egyptian sphinx is a cherub. In that sense. Less a speaker of riddles and deeper truths. It is supposed to have the mixed qualities of the lion and the bull. Strength in the voice and sacrifice of the vessel. For those whom are born outside the garden of eden. Are to be one with god. And exclusively so to be. If this to be violated, then its the expulsion back to the land of man. To imperfect laws. And the horror of their ways. The cherub also has wings. Said to be wings of an eagle. It doesn’t specify that of the dove. The modern day form of cherub. Is taken as a baby. But there is nothing frightening in a baby. Its a story descending from the greek/roman pantheon of gods. Bridging venus and mars together as one to the god Eros of lust and love. In that order.

The story of card Xkh here, then takes on a dubious predicament for origin. For what story is there to tell. The cherub or the cupid in between of the virgin “goddess” figure standing in for the high priestess. The invite teasing the will forward away from the land of man’s twisted nazi cocksukr ways. To the promise of something beautiful and true. Sadly the scenes plays in for a mirage of satanic bs teasing the disease to extricate itself to champion its stance to loser and prey.

For in english the next letter is Y x isnt moving away from it it is moving towards it. And the world card to fallow overlaps something else. And she’s not what he seems.

In reality of the script overlay in its written form is, У X Y. They can play all they want on this regard but the difference is still there. It’s only noticed with a keener sense of sight. Parading itself to be something it’s not. And here flipping the journey forward back around to be traveling back in the same direction in which One comes. But the difference is seen. And which card is that? It’s W. the moon. A flipped mirrored image. In a prison cell one was born in. Always in the constant motion of perverting reality. I know this to be true. Its been 39 straight years of this. I didn’t ask to be born a russian. So to say.

But since i was robbed from heaven since i was 8. And the world has done nothing but harm me since before then. Wonder who my alpha male is gonna be. They’re trying to build me a sense of confidence now. But, it’s a failed endeavour. While my ass continues to hurt from whatever they dosed me with. It’ll be around my birthday next year.

Thinknim gonna give up doing rarot and go back to smoking dope and being an incompetent gamer. These last few years being run by other people is all the propf i need not to be rational. Guess ill

Never lnow what it is not being owned by someone.

No wonder i dont want to eat anymore. Mars is about food amd cleaning. Dont need one. Theres nothing to liok foreard to in life. Im going to go get hogh.

And….. we’re high. Hmm.

Cherub. Coniferous. Beggar or fool. Bundle of brushwood. Odd little cherub looking ugly thing.

Sexchems and abuse.

Love being an eight year old child surrounded by predators. Makes life grand. Always was an entourage of predators. Even back then. I know the mentality well. When a brother purposefully pretends not to see you in hide and seek. And gleams on being in that disposition of superiority. For a single example, have more. Just fallowing me from the grave to the grave. Haunted by evil. Its always been there. Ive seen it slither up to front. Smiling. With those dead eyes in joy. The make believe stances. Little ways they move. Little ways the speak. Tongue weaving as it hissles the senses. The kind complements. The vicious undertones.

Too bad the cherubim are invisible. Never seen one. Maybe. I am not sure. Wouln’t be one. No. Thats all the facade. Planned script. It’s not alive. Like the things ive seen. When life is in nothing but in the way things move, like the wind. Natural things. Wont try to explain it to a bunch of morons. Its best when it’s sense. In that state of distance. When the relationship is unbroken.

The peddler, to give it a name. Card preceding this one. Needs a quill and a list of paper. A snake. wrapped around a leg? The leg would imply the man. If it didn’t have a significance to apply the thee. And not a thee.

Card letter, trap! Х(kh). A little english justice in there. And not a love as harmony. And the warning for Adam. Is a nice touch. The X of the sun, crossing it out…. To the other side.

Rough draft

But to this script the kh is the chariot and the patriarch. Here from this perspective. There’s the added love as passion. As driven blending with the father. Compared to justice and love as harmony. K to the english latin is open to what temperance closes with an R. The X blends something resembling above to the lovers as in innocense to the sun. Because it’s a lunar deck. It doesn’t fallow the sun as production. It’s been left unspoken.

The cherub here depicted as four separate beings, brings to life ezekial’s prophecy. If one knows what that is. One may use it. But it gives breath to the aquarian form as being the leading role. This being the voice of the people. As centre image. The serpent willing it’s bs. Which isn’t true and mislead. And can’t really be fallowed through because it’s wrong. Erroneous, and shining the unrational side of a stinging Wring-worm.

Ok, shut up! Jesus.

I want to vomit. Where sherry when you need her.

Man i could have helped that girl. Thanks for ruining it. And here i am being forced to relive my childhood for eternity. In that same frame of being driven without conscious inflection. Overruling as a shadow for a demon. People want that. People are dumb.

Well guess the tarot journey is over. You’re welcome. I played. You suck. Son’t want to play anymore. And that fucken dictionary. All sources uh? Alright. Pot and video games it is. Just read through most of letter H. Its a giant fuck fest of slutty sexual conditioning. In, on , at. Pull, push. Back, on in at push floor naked, hang, rise. push pull. Out in. Whimper, plead , aisde unleash at from. Back naked, community, forced rape, violence, evil, push pull on in out, to the death.(forever)….etc. ok. Sure why not.

Drop the latin tarot script entirely. There’s no mixing in with. Won’t prevent them from running their own though.

And i’ll wait on another 0.3.3 degrees to pluto for another attack on my person. To force an eviction. Send out the deafening alarming sound. Of the tower overlaying the 4 of swords next to the final Judgement. Nazi’s taking everything by force. Burning theough till the resources are gone or overecumbered by the effort.

Trump is entertaining, though. Stand up comedy.

Have no choice. Come up with something unique. All these sources corrupted but, the idea behind them is brilliant. Creation of “archetype”. Use the russian Cyrillic as the blue print layout. I like how that works. All sources are corrupted can’t rely on anything. Very slow process. Because i don’t work. I don’t do anything. Like in supposed to.

Maybe take depression time off the end of winter beginning of spring. Round there. They’ll hit me at home for the transits anyway.

Who needs to develop a personality and charecter anyway. Do what im supposed to do and be a mute dont talk to anyone. About anything. The food ol’life. Hope they stoo raping me now. Or of they add in a fifth fucken decade. 40 yearsbof beimg tredded on my nazi fucken cocksukrs is getten lame. At least do the humane thing and fucken kill me ya bunch of fucken pussies.

#Spotify

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dailytafsirofquran · 9 months

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Tafsir Ibn Kathir: Surah Al-Ra’d Ayah 10-11

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

13:10 It is the same (to Him) whether any of you conceals his speech or declares it openly, whether he be hid by night or goes forth freely by day.

13:11 For him (each person), there are angels in succession, before and behind him. They guard him by the command of Allah.

Verily, Allah will not change the (good) condition of a people as long as they do not change their state (of goodness) themselves.

But when Allah wills a people's punishment, there can be no turning it back, and they will find besides Him no protector.

Allah's Knowledge encompasses all Things Apparent and Hidden

Allah says:

It is the same (to Him) whether any of you conceals his speech or declares it openly,

Allah declares that His knowledge is encompassing all of His creation, those who declare their speech or hide it, He hears it and nothing of it ever escapes His observation.

Allah said in other Ayat,

And if you speak aloud, then verily, He knows the secret and that which is yet more hidden. (20:7)

and,

And (Allah) knows what you conceal and what you reveal.

A'ishah said, "All praise is due to Allah Whose hearing has encompassed all voices! By Allah, she who came to complain about her husband to the Messenger of Allah was speaking while I was in another part of the room, yet I did not hear some of what she said.

Allah sent down,

Indeed Allah has heard the statement of her that disputes with you concerning her husband and complains to Allah. And Allah hears the argument between you both. Verily, Allah is All-Hearer, All-Seer. (58:1)

Allah said next,

whether he be hid by night,

in his house in the darkness of the night,

or goes forth freely by day.

moves about during the daylight; both are encompassed by Allah's knowledge.

Allah said in other Ayat,

Surely, even when they cover themselves with their garments. (11:5)

and,

Neither you do any deed nor recite any portion of the Qur'an nor you do any deed, but We are witness thereof when you are doing it.

And nothing is hidden from your Lord (so much as) the weight of a speck of dust on the earth or in the heaven. Not what is less than that or what is greater than that but is (written) in a Clear Record. (10:61)

The Guardian Angels

Allah said next,

For him (each person), there are angels in succession, before and behind him. They guard him by the command of Allah.

Allah states that there are angels who take turns guarding each servant, some by night and some by day. These angels protect each person from harm and accidents.

There are also angels who take turns recording the good and evil deeds, some angels do this by day and some by night.

There are two angels, one to the right and one to the left of each person, recording the deeds. The angel to the right records the good deeds, while the angel to the left records the evil deeds.

There are also two angels that guard and protect each person, one from the back and one from in front. Therefore, there are four angels that surround each person by day and they are replaced by four others at night, two scribes and two guards.

An authentic Hadith states,

Angels take turns around you, some at night and some by day, and all of them assemble together at the time of the Fajr and `Asr prayers.

Then those who have stayed with you throughout the night, ascend to Allah Who asks them, and He knows the answer better than they about you, "How have you left My servants?''

They reply, "As we have found them praying, we have left them praying.''

Imam Ahmad recorded that Abdullah said that the Messenger of Allah said,

Verily, every one among you has his companion from the Jinn and his companion from the angels.''

They said, "And you too, O Allah's Messenger!'' He said,

And I too, except that Allah has helped me against him, so he only orders me to do good.

Muslim collected this Hadith.

Ibn Abi Hatim narrated that Ibrahim said,

"Allah revealed to a Prophet from among the Children of Israel, `Say to your nation: every people of a village or a house who used to obey Allah but changed their behavior to disobeying Him, then He will take away from them what they like and exchange it for what they dislike.''

Ibrahim next said that this statement has proof in Allah's Book,

Verily, Allah will not change the (good) condition of a people as long as they do not change their state (of goodness) themselves.

But when Allah wills a people's punishment, there can be no turning it back, and they will find besides Him no protector.

#allah #quran #revert #dua #islam #help #religion #revert help #ayat #hadith #revert help team

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feleshero · 10 months

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She stares at you in the mirror, the heat of the murder like a crown burning on her brow. You know her gaze, you can never forget, even with her face hidden behind a veil of blood.

❝ Can you see me? I can see you. I know you can't hear me. I hope you can't hear me. No one has been able to, for... ages now, I wouldn't be surprised if you couldn't. Sound doesn't travel across 'emptiness' as well as you might think. Too many spaces for it to creep into; to wither away from.

I learned that very early on. Screaming as loud as I could, until even I couldn't hear my voice anymore. Did I stop screaming? Did I run out of air? Did I die? That would've been nice. Dying out here. The vast emptiness filling my lungs, replacing terror with nothingness. A filler so paradoxical the container could only burst if it tried to hold any of it.

No, I don't think I'm dead. Whatever has me trapped here, it needs me alive. It has to feed. On my thoughts, my words, my memories, my soul. My soul, this thing is eating my soul. It's taken bits & pieces in bites & claws, cleaved more and more of me away than I can spare. FUCK, what's left of me to rally around? Who are my allies? My enemies? Where was I before I was here? Before I was this? I can't even remember my name. It took my NAME FROM ME! How can I fight this? Why should I fight this? If my soul doesn't belong to me anymore, what am I fighting for? To steal it away from who it actually belongs to? To steal it for the YOU that it now belongs to?

I'm weightless. Held in suspension beneath a dead star, weight of the cosmos on my back like Atlas before me, and I... am not strong enough to carry it. Not anymore. Help me. Maybe I never was? Maybe I've never been strong. Maybe my strength was always you. You. You. YOU, you're strong! You're stronger than me. Faster. Hungrier. Better. Beautiful creature, white hair, green eyes, wearing the night like a shroud. My guardian angel, I've always needed you. To move through the emptiness, through the dark, past the eyes of those who would do me harm, or keep me from my light.

Save me. Please, save me. I can't stay here any longer. This cage, this cage, this FUCKING CAGE, I NEED OUT OF HERE! PLEASE- Please, let me out. I- I'll help you. I'll wear you. We'll be together, forever, I'll never take you off. We'll never be apart again.

Anything. Everything. Just set us free. I can't spend another second staring at this- this wretched thing any longer. She's too pitiful to take with us. You're right. You're right. You're right. You've always been right. ❞

#ʟᴏsᴛ ɪɴ ᴀ ɴɪɢʜᴛʟᴇss ɴɪɢʜᴛ; DAME NOIR.#ɢᴏᴛᴛᴀ ɢᴇᴛ ᴀɴ ɪɴᴛᴇʀɴᴀʟ ᴍᴏɴᴏʟᴏɢᴜᴇ; DRABBLES.#i have commentary for this. but also i don't.#she's staring at her reflection. she's staring at her klyntar. she's staring at the void.#she blinked three times. three times was she overtaken. Thrice was she damned.#anyway my lunch order is here i'll be back

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forthemetamyguy · 5 years

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Daenerys’ violent acts are justified and here’s why

(do NOT @ me about 8x5. it’s an absurd and laughable suggestion that she would commit this. this is in relation to all the comments various cast & crew have made about all her previous acts of violence being the justification for this preposterous heel turn. which was ridiculous.)

What the white male writers think: Daenerys’ relationship to violence is horizontal. All people are on a straight line. With this mentality, it becomes easy to say “she doesn’t know right from wrong. She will cause indiscriminate harm.” Inevitably, she will do evil.

What it actually is: people in this world (and for that matter, ours) are placed on a vertical line of privilege and a system of oppression upholds that.

Daenerys, who ought to be at the top (Targaryen) is actually lower down (persecuted at birth for the name, disenfranchised for her adolescent life) and the abuse she suffers and endures drops her lower and her being sold as flesh and blood brings her in deep mental and psychological closeness to those individuals on the downward slope of the line.

With this in mind, it is easy to see a few things: 1) She uses her built in privilege and position of relative power to uplift those less fortunate

2) She has experienced the depravity of oppression and so will not harm those not at the top of the line

3) She only uses violence from a low position on the line towards a position above. If Daenerys were to reach the peak of this line, her violence would exist ONLY to defend.

She is not motivated by the gain of power itself and a love of violence, but by the gain of power to dismantle power and a willingness to use violence to achieve that. It is absurd to have claimed that she was “always like this,” and that we should have seen it as inevitable and that she deserves what she got. That absolute power corrupts absolutely. Well, sure, if you’re a white guy. If you don’t know pain. Daenerys is a product of abuse, and I’m sorry but no, those of us who have lived this life…we don’t become our abusers. It isn’t ABOUT having the power to be the one in charge. This is Cersei’s motivation. She wants power to have power, because wielding power will allow her to say “fuck you” to everyone who ever denied her any or questioned that she was worthy of it. Daenerys understands that power is a transformative tool as much as it is the wheel she wants to destroy. She needs power to do it. She wants power to make power meaningless, not for everyone BUT herself (like Cersei) but for all people.

And if she is willing to destroy those who are currently in positions of power and abusing that power, then so be it. This is a world of death and destruction. You cannot simultaneously ask me to cheer for the deaths of some oppressors (High Septon, Frey’s, Baelish, Joffrey, Ramsay, and so on – the ones who, while evil, only hurt our White Favs) yet feel disgust for others (slavers, Varys, Viserys, the khals, etc – ones who hurt a woman revolutionary yall seemingly want me to hate).

So eager are you to tell me that war is awful and depraved, but only when undertaken by a woman. So terrified are you of having to question the system you benefit from that you will destroy and kill the one who wishes its destruction. Perhaps she is willing to destroy the ones sitting in privilege from this system’s existence. So what. If they would unshackle themselves from it and agree to disseminate their power and embrace a new system, she would not harm them. She is not evil for wanting to help those who are by design unable to help themselves. She would never turn on them. If she turns on you, well, you weren’t right to begin with.

TL;DR: violently overthrowing oppressors does not mean you will inevitably become a violent oppressor. it means the violent oppressors are dead and gone and the system can finally breathe. if you’re oh so sad that violent oppressors have been killed, that’s on you

#game of thrones #daenerys targaryen #got meta #im so done being told. it is so true of all revolutionary figures and proponents of social change #is violence the first option? no. never. but when violence is the arm that enforces oppression? how the fuck else do you expect to change i #you gonna ask real nice? is that gonna work????#daenerys even specifically refuses to harm innocents and will only attack those openly attacking her or another #and i shouldnt have to fucking explain to someone...that enslaving someone is an act of violence...#but she will only harm those doing harm. she is a guardian angel more than anything else. fearsome but only to those who have reason to fea #fear.... lol rip

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celestialevie · 3 years

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Take a chance on me // Pietro Maximoff x f! reader

Genre: Fluff with tiniest angst

Summary: After saving Pietro with your powers during the battle of Sokovia, he starts flirting around. Ruining her date with love confession doesn't seem like the right thing, right? Or does it?

Warnings: Cursing, possible grammatic mistakes?

Word count: 4k (Again)

A/N: I'm so sorry for posting this so late, but I got distracted by watching Tangled so it took me way longer than it should've oops. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this. Credit for the idea to my lovely bestie @speedysimp

Being the baby of the Avengers hasn't been the easiest. Everyone loves to be so overprotective over you as if you can't protect yourself. Sure, it's nice to be taken care of and knowing the others have your back if needed, but sometimes they act way overprotective. When in reality, there's a really low chance of you getting hurt and not being able to recover. You're basically their guardian angel with your healing powers along with empathy and emotional manipulation. So when they went on a mission to find Loki's scepter they were really close to not letting you come with, no matter the fact that you're full on adult.

It was kind of cold in the woods near where it was assumed Loki's scepter was.

Standing close to Natasha, you kept getting these weird emotions rage, anger. Which was confusing because it wasn't from anyone on the team, but you guys were the only ones there besides that shooting thing. Until someone knocked Clint down. '' What? You didn't see that coming? '' the stranger said as he looked down at Clint and dissapeared in a second. Quickly you rushed to his side, making sure he's alright. At the same time, something knocked Steve down as well. Things only escalated from there. Another stranger showed up, but it was a female this time, she manipulated Tony's mind. A couple of days later, you ran into them again. She decided to try manipulating Bruce's mind, so you decided to play with both of the twins emotions. Choosing the strongest emotion that both of them ever felt. Grief and sadness. She screamed in pain while he fell on his knees, craddling his head in his arms. '' Wanna play some more games? Game on, bitch. '' You kept pushing and enhancing those emotions until you felt exhausted. The man, who if you rememeber correctly is called Pietro looked at you in shock for a second, before grabbing his twin sister who was still feeling those emotions and took off. Pro tip, you never want to piss of an empath and a girl who can control emotions. The next day you were on the train, fighting Ultron's babies basically, until those two showed up again, and for some reason started fighting with the team and not against the team. When the train was succesfully slowed down and stopped, along with Captain, you approached the twins. You wanted to make Wanda if you remember correctly doesn't attempt anything again. '' I just need to take a minute. '' Pietro said as we came close to them. '' I'm very tempted not to give you it.. '' Steve said as you only smirked. '' The cradle. Did you get it?'' Wanda asked. '' Stark will take care over it. '' she looked at Steve in shock and almost betrayal as she said '' No he won't. '' Pietro only sighed as he was catching up with his breath. '' You good to go back Cap?'' you spoke for the first time. Steve only nodded and with that you went back. Unfortunately, the twins came back with you guys to the tower. Of course there was some tension between Clint, Bruce and the twins. They didn't trust them at all. Not that you trusted them any less. A minute later, Pietro fell through the floor and Wanda was being held by Bruce. '' Bruce let her go. She won't do any more harm as long as I can help it. You being angry will only awaken the big guy and we don't need him right now, as much as I appreciate him. '' you gently approached them as Bruce let her go. Making sure she was alright, you peeked through the hole that Pietro fell through checking if he's alive. Clint was there looking as if he's about to fight Pietro. '' Clint get up here and leave him alone. '' Was all you said. A few minutes later, Vision has joined you and everyone was making a plan how to take Ultron down. After the plan was created, everyone went to change into their gear outfits. ( your outfit: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/598767712959263146/ )

Arriving in Sokovia, just like in the plan, the twins and you began escorting the civilians out of the city. As people were not wanting to cooperate, Pietro used a bit of agressivnes and used his powers to escort them as much as possible while Wanda used mind control and you used emotional manipulation to get them out of the city. While the three of you were escorting people out, Natasha was kiddnaped by Ultron. The battle was slowly begining. Ultron's babies started attacking the civilans. Along with Wanda you were aiding the people, healing the ones who needed to be healed while Hawkeye bought us time by destroying the drones with his arrows. One of the drones landed and fired at the people. Wanda tried to help by creating the shield and repeling the blasts, but the shield dissipated from the force of the blasts and knocked her to the ground. You rushed to her side, helping her recover and get up. Everyone was soon fighting the drones, Pietro using his superspeed to destroy as many as possible in a little time, while Vision fought with Ultron. Everything only went downhill from there. By the time Thor reached the boosters of the Doomsday trigger, it was too late as the trigger was already activated. Massive portion of Sokovia began to lift off the ground, as the team only stood, nothing to be done. Ultron decided to claim his victory, saying how the Earth would crack from the weight of our team's failures, that there's nothing to stop him. Tony went off to rescue a family from collapsing apartment as Steve ordered everyone to destroy Ultron's babies, giving us a speech about how if we were to get harmed, to harm our opponent in return and if we get killed to walk it off or for them to get to you.

Wanda, Clint and you rescued civilans while fighting off the drones. Clint soon grabbed both Wanda and me to take cover inside some house. Wanda began panicking and feeling guilty about joining Ultron and allowing this to happen. Calming her slightly down, as Clint told her about how now is not the time to panic and what's done is done. There's nothing to be said more. After that, he went back to fighting Ultron's babies. Seconds after that, Pietro joined us and carried us both to the chruch. '' You two good? '' he asked both you and Wanda nodded. '' Yeah. Go get people on the boat. '' Wanda told him as she fought the sentries. '' I'm not going to leave you. '' Pietro said. '' Listen to her, she can handle this and I'm here as well. Be useful some more and get everyone on the boats. '' Wanda smirked. '' You can come back for me when you get everyone else. Not before. Do you understand? '' Pietro hummed '' You know I'm 12 minutes older than you? '' Wanda laughed. '' Go. '' and with that he was gone. The real fight was beginning. You stayed by Wanda's side the entire time because of your similar powers. Soon the rest of the Avengers were by your side, and everyone was fighting sentries (aka ultron's babies) as Thor distracted Ultron so that Vision could whack him away with Mjolinir before returning it to Thor. As Thor let everyone know the drones were coming back for the core to activate it, Ultron showed up, confronting us and asking how will we stop him. Tony's only response was '' Together. '' as he finished the sentence, the drones started attacking us. Everyone was using their powers, fighting the drones attempting to come closer. Ultron was pissed and started attacking himself, Vision being his first target. Vision blasted him off with energy coming from the mind stone as Tony and Thor joined Vision blasting Ultron with lightning bolts and repulsor beams. His shell slowly melting away. Weakened and damaged, Hulk punched Ultron away. The drones started to escape but Tony ordered everyone to stop them and to destroy them.

Captain ordered everyone to retreat to the boats, however you along with Wanda volunteered to stay behind and guard doomsday trigger. Unbeknownst to us, damaged Ultron made his way to the Quinjet. Clint left the boat in order to rescue a Sokovian woman's brother, but soon realized he was in the line of fire as the bullets from the Quinjet were racing towards him. As you sensed both Clint's and the boy's fear and heared the firing, you rushed towards the sound wanting to help if anyone was hurt. But right before the killing blow was struck, Pietro saved Clint and the boy as he sped past them, taking the bullets instead, seconds before you arrived. He was basically dying in front of your eyes. Wanda's scream could be heard as her powers went wild, feeling the loss of her brother. Quickly shaking off the shock, you rushed to his side, using your healing powers to get the bullets out. '' You fucking idiot, you just had to be saviour and take the bullets. Because why not save Clint and the boy by carrying them away. '' tears were rushing down your cheeks. After the bullets were all taken out of him, you did your best to heal his bullet wounds. As you did everything your powers were capable of, you checked his pulse. It was faint but it was there. As minutes passed, the pulse was better and soon a groan left his lips and a thankful tears again left your eyes, as you rested your head next on his chest. While you were saving Pietro, Clint took the boy to the boat, while Wanda went to find Ultron. '' Am I in heaven? '' Pietro asked. No matter what he did before, he was making up for his mistakes like his sister. He didn't deserve to die. '' No but I'm sure once your sister finds out you're alive, you will experience hell. '' You got up and wiped your tears away. Gently you brought Pietro up, putting one of his arms around your neck while you rested yours around his waist and slowly made your way to the boat, minutes before Thor's mjolnir destroyed the slab of Sokovia. He still had to go to Helen to make sure everything was as much as possible healed up and he had to rest.

- A month later after Sokovia's battle –

It's definitely safe to say Pietro is as good as new. You did amazing job at healing him so only thing he needed to was rest for a couple of weeks. How you know he's basically good as new? Well besides the fact that he's been constantly training along with the rest of the team, he's been flirting with every single woman who gave him even slightest of attention, besides Wanda of course. Natasha is one of the exceptions because you're pretty sure he's intimidated by her. But the rest of the interns or the new shield agents who come over to train are no issue for him to turn on his charm and flirt. It annoyed you so much, because at first he only flirted with you and you thought he was into you, so you developed tiny bit of crush on him. But turns out you were just first of many women, therefore you're pretty much pissed at him and everytime he pisses you off, temptation to use your powers on him keep creeping up on you.

Remembering that you were the one who saved him and seeing him now sometimes makes you wonder if it was worth it. Wanda's reaction was worth it though. She's your aboslute best friend right now and you're so grateful for her.

Currently you were in the kitchen making yourself a coffee, when the devil himself ran in. '' Hello frumoasa. '' he winked as he leaned on the kitchen island. Rolling your eyes, you gave him a small wave of acknowledgement. '' Did cat get your tounge y/n? '' he chuckled and the next second he was right next to you. '' For god's sake Pietro, did you want me to spill my hot coffee on you? If it burned you I wouldn't be bothered to heal you, learn from your mistakes. '' with your coffee in your hands, you started going around Pietro, when he grabbed you by your forearm. '' I'm sorry, I promise I won't use my powers when you're holding a hot cup of coffee. '' sighing. '' It's whatever. I need to go. '' and with that you left him alone in the kitchen. You were pretty bored so you decided to go on a walk and maybe visit the library you liked to visit on days like these. As you got dressed up, you took all the important things like phone, wallet, keys etc and were on your way. You texted Cap and Wanda letting them know you're outside so that they don't turn into mother hens, especially Cap. It was really nice weather outisde and you were enjoying this walk. You really needed it to clear your head from all thse stupid jealousy thoughts that were forming in your head about Pietro. He's not worthy of your time. 20ish minutes later you've arrived in front of the library. Happiness and joy started taking over your body and it made you so happy that libraries and bookstores were happy and safe places for many people, you being one of them. As you entered the building, the familiar and comforting smell of books filled your nostrills. First thing you checked out was the table with new books that they've recieved, wondering if there was anything that would peak your interest. There were a lot of interesting book titles but none of them were something you'd read, so you went to your favourite isle, romance. Reading romance scratched that itch you have about wanting to be loved. Some of the books you've already read, and some you haven't. Remebering favourite moments from the ones you've read, made you smile and giddy on the inside. You used books as an escape from all the Avengers problems and world problems, getting lost in this small fictional headspace that you created. '' Hi can I help you anyhow miss? '' a guy around your age asked you. He must be a worker here, hence the name tag on his shirt. '' Oh hi, um Aaron. Thank you, but I don't think I need any help. I'm just wandering around reminiscing of all the books here I've read. But if you have any romance books recomendations I'm all ears. '' You smiled. He looked very cute. Brown hair, light eyes, slight beard going on. Smile playing on his lips. '' I'd love that. Well we can start with some classics like Pride and Prejudice which I'm gonna asume you've read, correct? '' a small nod was all you gave him. '' Hm, how about...'' he skimmed through the shelves before stopping at one and taking it out. '' This one? '' it was one of your absolute favourites. '' Of course. Must say it is one of my all time favourites. You have a great taste so far. '' he smiled brightly. '' Thank you. I would love to talk more about romance books on some dinner, if you're up for it? '' you widen your eyes '' You're asking me out on a date? After knowing me for five minutes? What if I'm some crazy insane girl? '' you ask him with a small smirk playing in the corner of your lips. '' Well for a pretty girl like you, I'd risk it. '' he winked and you laughed. '' You haven't even asked for my name. '' '' Well pretty girl, what is your name? '' a tiny bit of heat rushed to your cheeks. '' It's y/n. And here, you can have my number, I should be going now, but please text me or call me if you're really that keen on taking me out on a date. '' taking out a small paper from your bag, your write down your number and give it to Aaron. With a last smile, you leave the library, hoping the cute librarian was really serious about taking you on a date.

A few days have passed since you met Aaron and he called you about an hour later after you left the library. You agreed on going on a dinner date tomorrow at 7pm. Some new restaurant that he wanted to try out. When you told Wanda you have a date, she seemed shocked at first, but after that inital shock she was genuinely happy for you. So of course she also told almost the entire team, and they all had different opinions. The next day, you were giddy since the moment you woke up. It's been awhile since you went on an actual date. Soon it was time for you to get ready, with Wanda's help. You put on a cute dress that Natasha decided to let you borrow,put on some very simple makeup and Wanda braided your hair. Tony asked Happy if he could drive you and he agreed with no hesitation. With 10 minutes to spare, Wanda decided to leave you alone with some quiet time. About two minutes have passed from Wanda leaving you alone in your room, before someone knocked on your door. '' Come in. '' the last person you expected to see was coming inside your room. '' Bet you didn't think it was me, eh? '' he chuckled awkwardly '' Pietro? What are you doing here? '' you asked him confused look on your face. '' I heard about your date. I guess it's not a surprise a beautiful woman like you is having suitors. '' he cleared his throat. '' But I have one request for you though, if you'll allow me.'' you could sense nervousness radiating off him. '' Depends on the request. What is it? '' he took small steps aproaching you before he took your hands into his, looking you straight into eyes. '' Let me be the one you date. Not the guy you're supposed to go out, but me. I've had feelings for you since the first moment I saw you. You were so beautiful while being pissed and angry at my sister for messing with your chosen family. But I'm asking you to take a chance on me. Give me a chance to prove I could be the best man for you. '' he places his hands on both of your cheeks. Shock was the smallest emotion you're feeling right now. Anger, confusion were also there. '' Excuse me? '' a shocked laugh escaped you as you took a step back from him. '' I will not let your jokes ruin my date. Pietro, if you're so into me like you're claiming, why haven't you said anything literally any day before? Leave me alone and please never speak to me again. You dissapointed me even more than I thought you could. '' shaking your head, you go around him before he grabs you by your forearm, just like few days ago in the kitchen. '' I'm dead serious about my feelings for you. I know you're way out of my league and I'll probably never deserve someone as good as you, but the only reason I flirt with these women is to make you jealous. I needed to see any kind of reaction out of you. I'm well aware it's not the smartest plan, but it's something I knew would work. Or at least hoped. I'm sorry for everything. '' and with that he dropped your arm, leaving your room. Stunned you stood there until a notification from your phone came from Happy, asking if you're ready to go. Quickly you texted him you'll be downstairs in a minute. Shaking off your thoughts you made sure you've got all of your things you needed and met with Happy.

The date was perfect. Well as perfect as it can be when you've got someone else completely running around your mind. Aaron obviously noticed that you weren't 100% in the date. '' What's going on? I noticed you were a little bit spaced out. '' a sigh left your mouth before you looked at him. '' I'm sorry, but you deserve someone who would be 100% into the relationship and I can't give you that. One guy I've known for about a month now, has confessed his feelings towards me right before I left for the date and it's messing with my head because I still don't know if he really meant it or he said it to mess with my mind. He's been flirting with every female that gave him slightest attention besides his sister of course. You're a really great guy, but you don't deserve all this drama. I hope we can be friends after this. '' and with that you rose up from the table, gave Aaron tiniest kiss on the cheek, leaving enough money to cover up your part of the meal before leaving the restaurant. Rushing back to the tower (because you couldn't be bothered to wait for Happy to show up) you took off your shoes and started running. About 30 minutes later, you were all out of breath but you were finally arriving at the tower.

You rushed in the elevator, pressing the button many times. Two minutes later, you were finally on the floor that Pietro's room was. Rushing to his door, you started knocking like crazy. ''Okay,okay I'm coming jeez. '' second later he opened his door, wearing nothing but the pajama pants. Wow he had some mean abs. '' prinţesă what are you doing here? Weren’t you supposed to be on the date? '' he was confused. '' I have to talk to you. Can I come in? '' he moved to the side, letting you walk in. '' You ruined my date. '' Pietro scratched his head nervously. '' I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ruin your date. '' he sounded genuine '' Well you did. But Pietro, how serious you were about your feelings for me? I mean when you started flirting with me after the battle, I started having a small crush on you. What I didn't expect is for you to start flirting with so many women. It hurt me and I refused to let myself be hurt by that. How can I trust you that you're serious about me? '' Pietro approached me, putting his hands on both of my cheeks. '' I've adored you from the moment I first saw you. I was stunned how beautiful you looked but you were an enemy back then. Until very recently, even though we were on the same team now, I still didn't fully trust you, which is why I kept flirting with others. I'm so sorry for hurting you unintentionally. I know you like watching Mamma mia and listening to Abba so...'' he took a deep breath before a small chuckle left his lips. Tilting your head to the side you looked at him confused. What does your love for Mamma Mia and Abba have to do with any of this? '' If you change your mind, I'm the first in line, honey I'm still free, take a chance on me? '' laugh erupted from your lips, you just couldn't hold it in. '' I'm sorry for laughing. I couldn't help it. Fine, I'm willing to take a chance on you. But we're gonna take it slow, if it's alright. I'm still not fully convinced, but it's enough that I'm willing to give you a chance. '' he smiled. God he was so pretty when he was smiling. '' That's all I'm asking for prinţesă. ''

TRANSLATION:

prinţesă – princess

frumoasa - beautiful

#marvel mcu #marvel #marvel universe #mcu imagine #mcu fic #pietro maximoff x y/n #pietro x reader #pietro x y/n #pietro maximoff x reader #pietro maximoff #pietro maximoff fluff #pietro fanfiction #pietro maximoff angst #pietro maximoff fanfiction

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animeyanderelover · 3 years

Note

Hello again! Can I have prompt 46 with Ash? Tnx

Recently I told my friend that I had a lot of requests about him and she laughed about it. She doesn't really like him, but she gives him credit since he looks good.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, delusions, extreme paranoia, isolation, desperation, mentions of kidnapping,overprotectiveness, mentions of self-harm, Stockholm syndrome

Prompt 46: "Can I...can I kiss you?"

It was nothing less than a miracle that someone like you existed, someone who was cleansed from all the sins of this world and the corruption of humans. You were radiating with everything Ash had wanted for this world, a world that he wanted to give to you. It was the minimum from what she should and would do for you, it was his duty as your very own guardian angel. A role he was utterly dedicated too, devoted to his very own angel who forgave him his sins every time.

It was true, you had forgiven him his crimes already a long time ago as everything around you had started to fade away and you had lost count of how long exactly you had been stuck in here. Somewhere around one and a half years would be your expectation, looking on how the seasons had changed through the large and closed windows which symbolized your loss of freedom. But you didn't mind anymore.

You only needed and wanted Ash, your guardian angel.

There was clear tension in his body, you could feel how he stiffened up under your embrace. He had never really received that sort of affection before from anyone nor would he have ever wanted it from all those worthless lives walking around freely. You were the only person he actually wanted any sort of touches from. That was how pure you were, even causing someone like him craving something and falling victim to his own desires. And it was his own fault for being so weak-minded. He didn't deserve you yet letting you perish outside would be an even greater sin. He had to keep you safe.

"My Queen...what are you doing?"

Being able to keep his composure was important in front of you, though he remembered to have failed multiple times in the past already. Severe punishment was the only thing he could think of to atone for his failures for not being good enough, for proving himself to be so incredibly useless. Even now he could feel some unhealed wounds aching a bit, but you didn't have to know about his weakness and incompetence.

You blinked slightly confused up at him when he asked you such an obvious question, but it soon turned into slight giggling that instantly plunged Ash's heart into painfully warm emotions and forced his eyes to get wet. It had taken a while until you had been able to look so happy after he had quickly rescued you from all the evil waiting to devour you. The distress he had felt back then could never be put in words and no burns, knifes and broken bones had been able to make up for what you had been suffering under. Even now it remained as a anxiety deeply stuck in his heart. But looking at you now, smiling at him and not staring with wide eyes filled with fear at him, was worth much more than his whole life could ever repay you.

"I’m hugging you. It’s just that you always look so worried and stressed over my safety and never appear to take a rest. Just now you did as well so I thought this might help you a bit. A strong hug can be more worth than thousand words after all. That’s what my mother told me at least when I was younger.”, you replied softly, pressing your face deeper into his chest with a content look on your face.

There was nothing Ash could think of for a few moments, instead he seared the scene in front of him deep into his brain, how you were currently buried into his chest, looking so happy and peaceful. So stunning and precious.

Tears were quick to escape his eyes only seconds later, his insides stirring up with warmth that stung him and yet baked him with something he hadn’t felt in so long. Comfort and peace.

This was exactly why he had to protect you with his very own life, no one was allowed to snuff out the light you carried inside of you and that was able to even share it’s warmth with him. You possessed too much kindness to understand, but normal humans only destroyed what they touched, ruining it with their greed.

He wouldn’t let them do the same to you.

He would kill everyone who would even do as much as getting too close.

He just had to guarantee that you would live.

But first of all he had to calm himself down or otherwise he might worry you even more than he seemed to have done already. The tears were quickly wiped away with his sleeves before Ash was able to look at you again, still feeling like he wanted to continue crying. His heart felt like it might burst at any moment.

“You have so much warmth and love inside of you that I don’t think I deserve any of it. You shouldn’t even be concerned about me, I merely do what I have to do as your guardian. If you were to fall victim to this damned place, I would perish as well. What use is an angel who can’t even protect their chosen one?”

Pain was twisting his voice and face a bit when he dared to imagine how a world without you would be, a world filled with grief and darkness for him. Letting his guard down would be a fatal mistake, he had seen the worst of this world and the humans and he knew that it would happen again. That was why he had to be like this for you were his heart beating outside his chest. If something were to ever happen to you...

The angel hadn't even noticed that he had already started crying again, fist tightened and body shaking whilst getting lost in fears of losing the one good and bright thing this world had still left.

"But for me you're more than just a guardian angel. You're my angel and I want you to feel happy as well. I want you to feel loved as well. You do so much for me, but I feel like I only cause you stress and uneasiness. Shouldn't you be happy because of me?", you asked him in slight protest, feeling sadness whilst seeing the man you had come to love like this again because of you. You had never seen him truly relaxed nor had you ever been able to show him your feelings. He wouldn't let you, not thinking that he deserved you.

His reaction was instant, suddenly falling on his knees upon hearing from what you had said that he had disappointed you yet again, the visible look of your sorrow only stabbing his fear deeper into his very soul.

"I-I am so sorry! I didn't know that you felt this way only because I was so selfish to only think about myself like this! I don't deserve your forgiveness and accept any sort of-"

When he felt the soft sensation of your hands cupping his stained cheeks, he abruptly stopped his rambling, trying to not choke on his own breath that had gotten irregular.

"You don't have to apologize to me. I don't want to hear you saying such things about yourself. Don't you understand? I am unhappy whenever you are like this, seeing yourself as so worthless and not deserving of my love. That's what hurts me so much. You're rejecting my feelings. I love you, Ash. And I want to know if you do too. Because if you do, please stop talking like this and behave so distantly."

Your voice conveyed every bit emotion that was going on inside of you in that moment, something that Ash noticed with widened eyes as well.

Silence was cut short by him when he realized that you wanted something crucial from him which he would gladly give you. He had never considered that you would ever consider his love as something you wanted, consider him as someone you loved. When had been the last time someone had been truly kind to him and loved him? He couldn't remember anymore.

"Of course I do. You should never doubt my feelings for you. I love you more than you could ever imagine. It's impossible to function without you.", he managed to reply with a shaking voice as he grabbed both of your hands in his own.

"Then why are you acting like this? Everyone deserves someone who loves them. Without love it's a very painful life, isn't it? That's why I am hurting as well. Let me love you and I promise that you'll be able to feel peace as well.", you muttered slightly embarrassed out, leaning your head down so your forehead could rest against his own.

Slight sobs were starting to catch up to Ash as he was staring in pure awe at you.

"Thank you. I'll be better and make sure that I won't cause you sadness anymore.", he pressed out, tightening his grip on your hands only the slightest bit so he wouldn't hurt you.

"I'm glad to hear that.", you replied with a sincere smile on your face, joy stirring your heart up just by seeing that for the first time since he had abducted you, Ash was looking relieved and less tense. He just looked extremely grateful.

"May I ask you for a favor then?", you requested with a certain idea in mind.

"I'll do anything for you.", Ash replied, sounding very emotional.

"I want to do something for you for once since you normally do anything for me."

Hesitation and clear dislike instantly shadowed his face, the thought of him asking something from you going against Ash's belief in all the wrong ways. You shouldn't have to do him favors.

"It doesn't have to be something difficult. It can be a really simple thing. Just...something that I can do for you this once. Please.", you begged slightly, seeing the angel already struggling. You knew how he felt about such things, he hated letting you do something for him and he had never done it before either. Ash saw it only upon himself to serve you which was another thing that sometimes made you feel guilty. You wanted to do more for him as well.

"Can I...can I kiss you?"

Maybe that had been more a slip of his tongue, but he had been slightly panicking since hadn't want to sadden you again nor had he wanted you to do physical work for him. It was supposed to be the other way around.

So when he had stared for a moment at your face, eyes locked on your lips, he had considered somewhere deep in his mind possibilities which he had been fantasizing about a few times before, but hadn't thought that they would actually have a change of happening.

In his opinion they were still sinful, it would take a while for him to get used to the idea that you wanted to receive physical affection and love from him. The first impulse when he realized what he had said was instantly apologizing, only to be interrupted before he could even start saying anything.

You had already leaned down to fulfill him his wish before he could take it back again.

#yandere black butler #yandere kuroshitsuji #yandere ash #yandere ash landers

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stxleslyds · 3 years

Text

NIGHTWING #81

UMM... HOW ABOUT NO.

Ever since Tom Taylor took over Nightwing I have only made a post about one issue of his (I will leave it here Nightwing #78), that issue was beautiful, it was a solid start and the little things that made me feel a bit icky were not mentioned in the post because the issue was good.

Then the issues felt like connectors or just very bland story wise. I had problems with the book also feeling like a Nightwing and (fake) Oracle book instead of just Nightwing. There were many instances where Dick alone could have gotten himself out of situations without Barbara, but because she was there the opportunity to show that he can do things was taken from him. I guess what I am trying to say is that the book has disappointed me but I didn’t feel like making a post because it was too early and this is an ongoing book that Taylor said he planned on continuing for a while, but now I can’t not make a post.

A few days ago, I finally read the Red Hood story in Urban Legends (I have a review for that one too I will link it here Red Hood part 4) and I couldn’t stand how OOC and disappointing the story/characterization has been. I am saying this because I am only reading these two books at the moment, ONLY these two, and all I have gotten from them is shit.

I know it’s still early to say that the Nightwing book is bad but…I hated this issue, I hated it with all of my heart. But now that I am a bit calmer, I have come up with some ideas of what is truly going on with the Melinda situation.

Anyway, let me give you my thoughts.

There are big Wilson Fisk vibes coming from both Blockbuster and Melinda Zucco. Those two will lie, manipulate and be evil every chance they get. They are working together to make Nightwing disappear. I know it. The whole “make us all much wealthier and to extend your power beyond the city” idea does not include Nightwing.

Melinda might not want to burn anything down but she sure isn’t a hero. This woman accepted the position of Mayor after watching Blockbuster kill the former mayor. I understand that talking with the BHPD isn’t the best idea but this woman feels way too comfortable in the presence of a killer.

She is cunning and she has plans, I strongly believe that she might be a villain and that she will betray Blockbuster and take all the power (if it reaches that point) to herself.

Heartless is just another weirdo, he tricks both Nightwing and the reader into thinking that he has a soft spot for kids but surprise! He doesn’t. There isn’t much to say about him, he just has very complex gadgets and doesn’t know how to fight. I don’t even have any ideas about who he might be.

What I know though is that there was absolutely no need for Dick to think that he had “underestimated” Heartless, my love you threw your stick at him while he was looking directly at you, there was a 50/50 chance of him catching it. I swear I don’t understand the need to write him thinking that mostly because Taylor then has Dick swiping the floor with the guy, not only is it a simple fight (for Dick) but it’s also boring for him. Taylor’s writing is so annoying sometimes, he just loves to write extra things that are out of place like the “Tim Drake. Thought of by many as the best Robin” why the fuck did he put that there? Honestly, what was the point of having Dick say that, I don’t read a Nightwing book to have Tim Drake praise. If it doesn’t offer anything to the story that is being told then keep the thought to yourself Tom...

Moving forward the scene in the pier was quite nice, mostly because it’s Dick’s quick thinking that gets everyone to safety, he knows exactly what to do and how to contact the Maritime distress channel.

He has hope for his city, he knows there is good in it and he believes help will show up when lives are about to be lost. I loved that, just like Heartless said, Nightwing IS Bludhaven’s Guardian Angel. Once again, I am having Daredevil vibes from Dick (like from the show)

After the fight we get to see consequences of Dick not healing properly from a shot to the head. He loses his consciousness which is extremely dangerous but luckily Tim is at arm’s reach to help him out of the pier.

There are many things I want to talk about from the scenes that happen after Dick wakes up in his apartment so here we go.

First of all, Bitewing is adorable, she loves Dick the most and was happy to see him awake once more, what a good girl!

Secondly, Barbara, honey, you do not have three names, you aren’t Batgirl anymore, you are a grown woman that needs to move on from a mantle that has other people that can do something else/better with it. And we all know that this Oracle is just the ableist version of Oracle. So yeah…all I ask is for Barbara to move on from Batgirl, Cass and Stephanie are right there, enough is enough.

In these panels we have Dick, Tim and Barbara being kinda dismissive about the homeless kids, and it has been happening for so many issues, what is the point, Taylor? You made Dick a millionaire and you just can’t have him say or think for a second that he will monetarily help those kids and make sure they are put somewhere safe? You are really going to wait up until you have Dick running for Mayor or something to help the kids? I just don’t get it. Kids living on the streets and each time they are mentioned the three heroes of the book act like it’s normal and doesn’t need fixing. What the fuck.

Then we have the gang finding out that Melinda Zucco is the new mayor, the woman has an FBI file and a redacted one! This makes me think two things, either things are like I thought in the beginning of the post (she is evil and very good at it) or this woman is actually FBI and she is undercover (this one is less likely because of what happens at the end of the issue).

What we can see from the file that Barbara found is very little, but in these two pictures we can see that maybe she was put in foster care and x age? Also, she was apparently investigated in April of 20xx, the investigation must have been recent, why would the FBI investigate a minor or college student? What if these files were implanted by Melinda for someone to find them, and for her to have some sort of proof of her lies? If the file is about her being left in foster care or something while would the file be redacted? I don’t know, everything about her is shady and I don’t trust anything from or about her.

This could be a complex and very interesting character but Tom Taylor and DC really love to do stupid shit for shock value (more of this later).

All the new information (the Maroni, Blockbuster and now this very shady Mayor) has Dick saying that it is a bit too much for him and yeah, it is too much, you know who could help? Red Hood. I am of course not talking about current DC comics Red Hood, I am talking about the Red Hood that I would love to see, just yesterday I had an ask about who would I like to see working with Jason and I said Nightwing because Dick puts a lot of responsibility on his shoulders so it would be nice if they negotiated and each could work on different crime areas in Bludhaven, if only DC would hear me…

Anyway, now that we come to the end of the scene let’s talk about Barbara’s shirt.

That was unnecessary and not funny. That’s all it was. Yeah, I know it’s a meme and I know it was included for funny ha-ha purposes but I am not laughing. Bruce has been written as abusive towards his kids for so long, Jason, Tim and Dick have been physically harmed by Bruce and writers use it as just something that happens, there are never repercussions for the Bat. And this shirt sucks because Dick was Robin there and he was a kid, so having Barbara or anyone wearing a shirt with Batman hitting Robin!Dick right in front of Dick is just disgusting. What if someone wore a shirt that had Joker beating Jason with a crowbar in front of Jason, would that be a funny ha-ha too? What about Dick wearing a shirt with the Joker shooting Barbara, is that a funny ha-ha? The answer to those questions is no, it’s not funny.

The idea of that shirt shouldn’t have been pitched, drawn or included after the editor took a look at it.

The picture is a meme in our world, not in theirs. And the readers aren’t laughing.

Back to the issue, Dick is left alone in his apartment to rest (seriously? You think the man that showed up to help Bruce in Gotham with a knee brace is going to rest?) but he can’t, he just found out that Mayor Zucco might be trouble for Bludhaven and might be working with not only Blockbuster but the Maroni family. He is not waiting one more second to have a chat with her.

Dick is obviously still concussed so of course he grabs a mask that has a camera that Oracle can view, and of course he enters yet another window without being careful.

Melinda and Audre were obviously waiting for him.

But here is where the real bullshit begins. Dick is unmasked.

I am so mad; it’s been four issues and Dick gets his ass in a trap and is unmasked by a villain? Are you kidding me right now?

But that’s not all, after Dick breaks free and accuses Melinda of being the daughter of the man that killed his parents, she pulls out a uno reverse card and says that her actual father is John Grayson, and that she is his sister.

How about no. Absolutely not. Go away.

Let’s re-visit Melinda’s appearances in the book so far so we can start theorizing about her real intentions or if she could be saying the truth.

Back in issue #78 where she is first introduced to us, after Melinda watches Blockbuster kill the mayor, she goes home and tells her Audre that she is now mayor because Blockbuster did what he does, so she knows that this guy is trash and a killer. But that’s not all, Audre asks her if she came across Dick Grayson to which Melinda answers “I am not ready for him yet”. Audre suggests she talks to him sooner rather than later because she might not have “another chance”, and the issue ends with Melinda agreeing with her while she is looking at a Flying Graysons poster with a red circle framing Dick’s face.

That whole thing? Shady. Melinda, obviously, wanted to talk to Dick Grayson, probably to tell him that she is his sister, but why is there a time limit, why is Audre telling Melinda that she can’t wait too long? Is it because her undercover work is ending soon? Is it because it’s not real at all and she needs to tell that lie in order to move forward with some sort of plan? I don’t know…

In issue #79 Melinda (and Audre) are out in the open with Maroni and they are talking about her becoming the next Mayor, Nightwing was watching from afar so this is his first contact with her. And it might be the first time that Melinda and her friend see Nightwing in action too. I cannot tell if she is aware that Nightwing/Dick Grayson are the same person here.

In #80 she doesn’t make an appearance.

But now in #81 she is taking her place as Mayor of Bludhaven, there Commissioner McClean takes her somewhere she didn’t expect to go (she is shown not knowing that Maroni and Blockbuster were in the next room over). Once in the room she refuses to take the cash from McClean but she will take the money as a transaction (for a second I thought she wouldn’t take the money but she did because she is very corrupt) and talks to Maroni once more. Before I talk about what happens with Blockbuster let me say this, she acts so distant to Maroni, she calls him Mr. Maroni every single time and she comes off as cold and feeling no type of way while talking with someone that is part of the family that actually raised her, and this is not because she is in a room full of other people, she did it too in #79. It seems weird that she acts that way with someone that took her under his wing since she was eight years old.

When she sits with Blockbuster he says “tell us your plan for my city” to which she says all of this: “My plan, Blockbuster, is to make us all much wealthier and to extend your power beyond the city. But to do so in a way that builds on the good work you’ve already done I have no interest in burning anything down.”

At the start of the post I said she gave me big Wilson Fisk vibes and that right there is why. She is shady, she has plans on top of plans, she calls Roland Desmond Blockbuster to his face but says that he has done good work for Bludhaven, which is weird because Blockbuster destroys Bludhaven a couple of times a year…

As I said before whatever she has planned does not include Nightwing, and here is where I kinda start theorizing a bit more, what if Blockbuster told Melinda Nightwing’s real name, he used to know who he was once upon a time…

Later in this issue when Nightwing is going to Melinda’s place Audre is already waiting for him right next to the window (with a sword), so, was he making an insane amount of noise or were they told to be ready for him?

Melinda traps him and takes his mask off, she barely seems surprised about Nightwing being Dick, she barely reacts when he jumps at her. She is in complete control of the situation and proves that by disarming Dick, as fast as he accuses her of being Zucco’s daughter she tells him that her real father is John Grayson.

She is in complete control. She has to be lying, she put a stop to whatever Dick had to say and do in seconds. This woman is trained and she is manipulative as fuck!

And if she isn’t lying then fuck DC and fuck Tom Taylor, this woman is either younger or the same age as Dick, John Grayson was not a cheater, the man is dead, has been dead for so long, don’t throw dirt on his name at this point. I refuse to believe this is true.

I honestly think that she is evil, and knows more than we are aware of, her first appearance was shady as fuck, let's suppose that she didn’t truly know that Dick was Nightwing, why on earth did she have a Flying Graysons poster with a red circle on top of Dick’s face? That doesn’t seem like something a sister would do! And why would this be information that is so important that she NEEDS to tell him in a certain amount of time?

It’s fucking insane. Tom Taylor, if she is actually Dick's sister then shame on you. Disgusting, what is with writers and cheating, what the hell is going on? Dick doesn’t need to think back to his parents and see a cheater in one of them. This better be Melinda being a cruel and vile human being that is trying to emotionally hurt Dick/Nightwing so she and Blockbuster can do whatever its they want to do.

That’s all I have to say.

#dick grayson #nightwing #nightwing 81 #dc comics #dc infinite frontier #melinda zucco #nightwing and bitewing #bitewing #blockbuster

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the-witches-you-couldnt-burn · 3 years

Text

When it all falls down

Guys! I have 69 followers and I couldn’t be happier! Here’s the next chapter of ‘When it all falls down’ and I hope you enjoy it! There are some inspiration links to things I’ve described if you need visual images

Ao3

Story Masterlist

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CHAPTER ONE: Everything I never wanted

The ballroom was lit with torches and shimmering crystal chandeliers. A buffet table lined one wall and the other held a stage with an orchestra. The doors were wide open but only a select few were invited. Those that chose to dance did so with ridged backs, like an invisible knife would stab them at a single misstep. Nobles gathered at tables conversing, smiles plastered onto their painted faces.

Guards dressed in dark navy and dyed leather lined each window and entry. They stood, watching the crowd, surrounding them, prepared and ready. It was dark out, the glass panes showed the opaque inky night.

“The king has yet to arrive to his own party.”

The man next to her snapped his head in her directions, eyes narrowing and his goblet brought up to his pursed lips for a sip. Swallowing, he cleared his throat, “You of all people should know that the king is dead.”

She turned away from the dazzling reception and sent him a smirk. “And you should know that I don’t believe lies.”

Before he could reply, two hands clasped his and the bride’s shoulders, his mothers head appeared between them. “Go dance!” She hissed, pushing them towards the stiffly dancing nobles.

Damian looked at Marinette who shrugged. As husband and wife they walked arm-in-arm to the dance floor, guests scrambled out of their way, an empty space was left for the couple. The two separated and turned to face each other with a bow. Mari picked up her skirts as she strutted, they both circled to their right slowly then to their left until they returned to their starting positions. Damian extended his hand and Marinette, with her free hand accepted it. The two closed the circle until they were standing palm to palm.

Now up close they could better view their partner in dance and life. The prince wore a black kurta pajama with a wrapped button neckline and gold embroidery. The kurta’s buttons were made of diamonds and it’s squared hemline stopped mid-thigh to reveal he wore white cotton pants underneath. His belt consisted of solid gold ovals, embedded with obsidian, opals and an emerald in each centre. A golden crown with another emerald rested on his forehead, it’s intricate moulding wrapped around his skull and the centre piece pointed downwards.

Marinette remembered her tutors teaching her about the Empire. The opals and obsidian represents a new era of the kingdom, it was the royal families signature colours. This was reinforced by their clothes only being at the extremes of the shade spectrum. And at birth each member is given a specific stone to represent their life and role within the kingdom. Lady Talia’s was Tiger’s Eye (quite fitting), and it seems that Damian was blessed with Emerald.

Marinette was dressed similarly to Damian. She wore her own familial colours, like Damian’s birth jewel, Marinette was given her own sigil. When she entered the order and rose through the rank, the elder guardians awarded her with the Ladybug mantle. Her wedding garb (along with all her other clothes) consisted of hues of red and black. Her cheongsam was sleeveless and it’s neck was high. At the nape of the neckline, similar to that of a cape, a translucent blue material stitched with shimmering silver threads trailed down her back. It fluttered as she moved, making her presence look ethereal and that of an Angel.

The main body of the dress was a deep red silk, that hugged her curves and the skirt slowly transitioned to black. The gradient was further detailed with small beads of sparkling black gemstones. It’s petticoat was made of the same translucent blue material and could be seen from a high slit. In the bodice of the dress there was another slit that went down her sternum, the skin of her chest peeking through on occasion.

Her waist length hair usually hung freely down her back unless she was in training, was now tied into a bun by multiple braids. Silver hairpins held the do together and they were inscribed with incantations of protection and luck. Although she was the Miraculous Order’s princess she didn’t wear the headdress they had given her, she felt as though she didn’t deserve it.

Two steps, two steps. Her skirts swished with movement, the noise of the clicking beads filled her ears. The two were the focus of the entire party, as it should be due to the fact that this was their wedding reception. The violins high pitched cry signified the climax of their dance, Damian held his arm out and spun her before drawing her back into his embrace. This dance, much like their marriage was nothing more than an obligation to their clans.

As the music died down, the young couple were ushered into their new living quarters. The room was moderately sized and minimalistic style of furnishing, coloured a deep blue with gold trimming. Other than the front door, there were 3 others leading out of the room. The first being next to a curtained window, it lead to a balcony with granite carved railings. The second lead to the bathroom and the third linked another smaller bed room to theirs. When the couple discovered the smaller room they were confused, but Lady Talia quickly provided an explanation.

The connected room was for their future heirs.

The newlyweds froze at the older woman’s declaration. They struggled to process the depth of her words. Oblivious to the awkward atmosphere she created she swept up her skirts and pranced out of the room, leaving two sets of eyes trailing her figure.

They distracted themselves by unpacking the trunks containing their belongings, neither had much. This was because of being constantly on the move (Marinette) or not being allowed to have materialistic pleasures (Damian). Blue eyes avoided green and vice versa. Once complete they prepared for slumber, but there was one issue to be addressed... the consummation of the marriage.

Tremors shook Damian’s hands at the realisation of what was expected of him. She saw his shaking form, the elders had always complimented her observant nature. He hid his distress poorly. “I can sleep in the other room if that would make you more comfortable my prince.” Her soft voice was sincere and free from any jest that it held from earlier this evening.

He looked towards her, his exterior hardening, protecting himself against this stranger. “No.” He gruffly replied, “I’ll take the other room.” A smaller room meant less places for enemies to hide. Yes the smaller room would fit him better.

He turned towards the door but her statement halted his movements. “I do not wish to tie you down with these bonds of matrimony. As long as no harm comes to the Order or I, you can do as you please.”

He made no move to turn, only shifting his head to stare back at the small figure that sat upon the too large bed. “Why are you offering this?”

She couldn’t provide him with anything more than a small smile, upon closer inspection sadness was clearly evident within her eyes. “If we cannot marry for love then we should at least marry someone we do not hate.” She said before laying underneath the blankets, her eyes fluttering shut as her head hit the pillow.

For a moment he stayed there, standing; but eventually he made his way into the conjoining room and bedding down for the night. If he had stayed living with his mother he probably would have deemed her as weak and insufficient to be his bride as soon as she joined him at the altar. But his time with his father and siblings had shattered that perspective. Her words repeated within his mind, ‘If we cannot marry for love then we should at least marry someone we do not hate.’ There surely was a hidden meaning but Damian was too exhausted from the day’s events to scrutinise. If that is her wish then he would gladly accommodate it.

Taglist:

@thesunniestdays @jayjayspixiepop @toodaloo-kangaroo

#maribat #mlb x dc #dc x mlb #marinette x damian #damian x marinette #damian wayne x marinette dupain cheng #daminette #When it all falls down #arranged marriage au #royal au

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shewastheheart · 3 years

Text

A/N: Absolutely AU.

She thought her nerves would be rioting in her stomach, her heartbeat picking up the closer she drew to the edge of the cliff, the edge of her life. But that's what has finally led her here, isn't it? The lack of feeling?

Her son is gone; the home of her body emptied of his presence, her arms too. There's nothing left, nothing to live for.

She's left her home, her family, her abuser. Ran away with the naive idea that she and her newborn child would have a new life together, a fresh start.

She was a fool. How could she ever believe that a new life was meant for her?

Her eyes sting, but the tears don't come. She thinks she's emptied of those too.

Esme takes another step forward, the wind whispering along her neck, coaxing her forward, the waves calling her to join in their crash against the rocks below.

This life was never meant for her, she knows that now.

The breath shudders past her chapped lips.

This was inevitable.

She's balancing on the true edge now, all she has to do is lean forward. Her bare toes flex in the grass for one last time, her heart accelerating ever so slightly as she finally lets go and falls forward.

One moment she's falling and the next, she is not.

Esme's eyes flutter open, her brow furrowing at the grey sky above, the sound of waves still all around. Something is holding her, a cool embrace carrying her.

"I didn't even feel it," she mumbles, glancing up to see what has her. Only to realize it is a who. "Dr. Cullen?"

She remembers him vividly from her youth, those beautiful golden eyes, the perfectly combed blond hair, the compassion that radiates from his very presence.

She has always struggled with her belief in God, but if this is her escort to the afterlife, she has to say she appreciates His thoughtfulness. Her childhood doctor from a decade ago is as close to angels as she ever came.

But her guardian angel... he doesn't look happy with her at all.

"What were you doing?" he whispers. The clutch of his hands under her knees, at her shoulder, where he's carrying her, tightens. "Why would you... what were you thinking?"

Suddenly, she is struck by the idea that maybe she is not yet dead after all.

"Did you save me?" Esme hisses, eyes tearing from his gaze to look around them. They're standing on a cluster of rocks amidst the ocean, beneath the cliff. Where she was supposed to land. "How did you... why?"

She looks back at him, torn between the urge to sob and smack him.

"Why?" he questions incredulously. "Ms. Platt-"

"You remember me?" she cuts in, shaking her head and shifting in his grasp.

He quickly sets her on her own two feet. An involuntary shiver wracks her bones as her bare toes touch the frigid surface of the rock, the chilled spray of the waves licking at her calves.

"Of course, I remember you, I - you were my patient."

"Ten years ago," she argues, gripping his waist when her knees threaten to give out as the leftover adrenaline floods through her. "Dr. Cullen, I-" The tears do come now. What has he done? How could this have happened? "You can't, this isn't - please, god, please" she chokes out. "Let me die."

She bows her head, letting it come into contact with his chest. The idea of continuing on, of living with it, with everything... she can't.

"Shh, Esme, please," he whispers and she realizes she's sobbing, ugly and painfully into the sweater against her forehead. "I couldn't. I couldn't. I'm so sorry."

His hand gently touches the back of her head, skimming deft fingers through her tangled hair. Her body threatens to shudder at the touch, jerk away from it, but... it's the first time in so long that someone has treated her with such care, such gentleness. With something that promises he won't hurt her.

Carlisle didn't think about the next move, what to do after he saved her.

She cries herself into silence, her face red and her eyes swollen. Numbed. She remains leaning against him, a series of small tremors rippling through her body every few seconds.

"Ms. Platt," he calls to her, scared to move, to spook her. "Is there somewhere I can take you? I... we're a bit of a long way from Ohio, do you have family here now?"

Her breath catches, her chest shuddering as she shakes her head.

"No," she rasps, barely audible above the crash of the waves around her. He really needs to get her back on dry land, away from the waters and the god-forsaken cliff she tried to jump from. "He's gone."

"He?" Carlisle repeats softly.

Esme lifts her head, her cheeks tear-stained and her lips still trembling. "My son, Dr. Cullen. I... I just had a baby and he didn't make it. I couldn't even save my baby."

Her shoulders collapse and she wraps her arms around herself, trying to keep the shudders of her body contained.

If he had a heart, he thinks it would have stuttered in his chest, cracked for her.

"Oh, Esme," he exhales, relishing the rare sound of her name in his mouth. "I'm so sorry... let me get you out of here. Let me take you somewhere safe and you can tell me more about all that has happened."

"Safe?" she echoes, a feral spark of something dark registering in her gaze. "Charles."

Her spine stiffens and she instinctively moves closer to Carlisle. She's afraid, he notes, afraid of this Charles person.

"No one is going to hurt you," he swears, but there is more than mere comfort in the words. He means it.

Esme blinks and shifts her attention once more to his face, but this time, it's as if she's truly seeing him for the first time. Her brow creases, confusion tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"How can this be real? How... could you have possibly-" Her head tilts back, eyes flicking from the cliff above their heads and back to him again. "How could you have stopped me?"

He doesn't know how to answer, how to possibly begin to cover the truth.

He doesn't really want to.

Carlisle carefully takes one of her hands in his own, squeezing it with the most minuscule portion of his strength.

"I'll show you, but you have to trust me. I know it's asking so much-"

"I do," she interrupts, those glassy eyes staring up at him with far more trust than he's ever deserved. Her brow furrows a little, as if the concept is simple. "I trusted you then, I trust you now."

"Then hold on."

Esme is still clinging to his neck even though they've been back on the ground for at least five minutes now.

"I'm so sorry I've frightened you," Doctor Cullen tells her for what has to be the third time, but sounding no less earnest.

After he picked her up and practically flew from the outcropping of rocks amidst the sea, rising from the surface of the ocean's edge to the dry land up above, he had carried her to a nearby fallen tree, gingerly placed her to sit upon the trunk. It's how they've remained in the last few minutes, with his mouth murmuring a stream of apologies and his body leaning over hers, bowed by the latch of her arms, but not seeming to be taxed by the position.

She is supposed to be dead, broken like waves against the rocks and carried out to sea. Instead, she is sitting with a man with... with what? Superhuman abilities? A devil in disguise of a beautiful man?

"What are you?" she finally manages to ask, pushing past the stiffness in her arms to relinquish their hold.

Doctor Cullen bows his head, his eyes falling closed as if in prayer.

"I'm afraid that it may come as an even greater fright to you."

She swallows hard. "You do not seem to mean me any harm. Unless you have only saved my life to torture me further."

His head lifts immediately, his eyes stricken as they land upon her. "No, never. I may be a monster, but I couldn't... my intention could never be to hurt you."

The intensity has her taken aback, but she holds his gaze. "A monster?"

It certainly isn't a word she would have associated with the soft-spoken doctor beside her. She can still remember with clarity the way in which he treated her ten years ago, with delicate hands and a genuine smile, eyes that held hers for a moment too long.

She never managed to forget him, more than likely because Charles made her wish even more for the first man to ever make her heart skip. She could never help thinking how she wished it had been him she exchanged vows with. Esme always managed to convince herself that Doctor Cullen would have healed her wounds, not bestowed more upon her.

"I am sure you have heard certain myths, legends of immortal creatures?" he begins, lowering to sit near her, leaving a large gap of space between them.

Esme nods, childish tales of magical sea creatures and monsters under the cloak of darkness in the woods flittering across her brain. "Some."

He twines his hands together between his knees. "What about vampires?"

It takes a moment for the correlation to register, what he's trying to tell her.

"I am... impossibly fast, incredibly strong. There is little in this world that could truly hurt - let alone kill - me," Doctor Cullen continues. "I'm dangerous and it would serve you best to stay far away from me."

Her head is spinning so fast that she has to squeeze her eyes shut, nearly buries her face in her hands, but wait-

"Stay away from you?" she repeats, meeting his forlorn expression staring back at her. As if waiting for her to react with the utmost amount of fear and hatred towards him.

And perhaps she should, if what he is saying is true and not some post suicide hallucination of hers. If her former doctor is actually a vampire.

"I do not... feed on humans," he tells her quickly. "I survive only on the blood of animals, but I am aware it does not change who I am, what I am. I could never expect-"

"I know you won't hurt me," she breathes, her swollen eyes feeling heavy, her entire body weighed down by exhaustion and a fresh wave of despair. "Can you take me to the place you spoke of, to safety?"

"Of course," he answers, rising in what feels like a flash. "And Esme?"

Before she realizes what is happening, he is easing his arms beneath her legs, the curve of her spine, and carrying her bridal style against him once more.

She hums in response, giving up on the idea of remaining conscious any longer and leaning into the wall of his chest against her cheek instead.

"Please, call me Carlisle."

Her lips quirk. This has been quite a lovely dream.

To continue with the full story that will follow this first chapter, I hope you’ll consider finding this little story on FFnet. :)

#twilight fanfiction #esme cullen #carlisle cullen #carlisle x esme #esme x carlisle #carlesme #twilight #fanfiction #my writing #lover of mine

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plus-size-reader · 4 years

Text

Hidden Away

Erik x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 2184 words

Warnings: none

Summary: The reader is getting picked on and Erik helps make her feel better.

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Everyone had heard the rumors of the angel of music, the guardian of this place but you had never believed them before.

You had never had any kind of encounter and aside from frightened whispers from the dancers and stories from Madame Giry, you didn’t think you ever would.

In fact, if you had never gotten that letter, you may not have ever learned the truth about this place.

The Opera Populaire had gotten similar letters before, from someone signing as ‘Opera Ghost’ but you had no idea who that was. All you knew was that there was a letter just like it, resting upon your nightstand.

It may have been easier to pass off as a prank, but you didn’t think so. The performers in this place often thought you a joke, and wouldn’t waste their time doing something so elaborate.

Rather, they would just torment you during your rehearsal. You could never have hoped to be a ballerina, though you often wished you could have been.

You just weren’t built for that sort of thing, but what you did have was a voice that not even the most cruel among them could refute.

Madame Giry often said that if you had been built like the other girls were, you would have been the most popular performer the opera would’ve ever had.

You should have known better than to think that living in a place like this would be gentle toward your insecurities. The dancers alone were all in such a physical condition that they were almost always in pain.

...Not to mention, rail thin.

That being said though, you knew that it wasn’t their fault that you weren’t but that didn’t make their cruel comments any less harmful.

Not every one of the ballerinas was nasty to you, or made snide remarks about how pretty you’d be if you weren’t ‘built like that’. It was just that the ones that did sort of took up all your attention.

For example, today, you had been doing your best to perform your rendition of Hannibal that Carlotta was going to be doing tonight at the show.

It was just something you’d been trying to perfect since she began doing it. It was easy to get that song stuck in your head, and as a singer, it was only a matter of time before you attempted it for yourself.

You thought you sounded alright, though not as good as the headliner always did, but right on schedule, Bernadette came round the corner.

She wasn’t the most skilled among the dancers, as she couldn’t hold a candle to Christine or Meg but she was talented for sure. More importantly than all that though, was the fact that she hated you.

Treating you poorly was arguably her favorite thing to do.

“Come now Y/N, there is no use in practicing. They are never going to let you up on stage. I doubt they could even fit you into any of Carlotta’s costumes” she hummed, her thick french accent attacking your senses.

It was a tone you were comfortable with, and if she had been any more kind, it would have even been beautiful but with the way she chose to use it, that all faded away.

Perhaps you could have argued with her or defended yourself some but you knew from experience that it wouldn’t lessen her attack. So, instead, you removed yourself from the situation completely.

Of course, doing so only made her more wicked, a cackle leaving her lips when you left the stage. You didn’t even want to know what she was saying to her friends, but it didn’t matter.

Having heard it or not, it hurt all the same.

You were just so tired of your appearance having anything to do with your talent, as if a couple extra pounds affected your ability to sing.

...And you began to cry.

Luckily, you were far enough away from anyone to know about it, but you couldn’t help yourself even if they were around. It just hurt to never feel good enough, no matter how strong you tried to act.

Sometimes you just had to let it out.

Now, you didn’t know from where you were sitting, curled up in the corner of the room with your head in your hands but there was a witness to the entire thing.

A witness that had been paying attention to you for quite some time.

The opera ghost was the focus of so many people’s attention in the opera currently but the focus of the entity himself...was you.

He couldn’t help himself.

Erik could hear your voice through the walls, even when you were singing alone in your room and by this point, he found himself completely enamored by everything you were.

In some ways, maybe he even found himself developing feelings for you, in his own special way.

In any case, watching those girls speak so cruelly to you filled the man with rage. The only thing that softened that anger was seeing you there, kneeling down with tears in your eyes.

That was enough to stop him in his tracks completely.

That was when he sat down and wrote that letter, requesting that you allow him to meet you in person, provided that you wanted to do so. That way, if he needed to whisk you away in the future, he could do so without alarming you.

Perhaps it was awkward, or strange, but in his defense, Erik had lived most of his life within the walls and dungeon of this place. He wasn’t really the most up to date on social graces.

If nothing else, it was his attempt at not startling you with his presence.

...And thankfully for him, it worked.

You read his letter that next morning, having found it laid gently on your nightstand, stamped perfectly with blood red wax.

It didn’t make any sense, and it seemed rather foolish to answer the calls of some invisible man that you’d never seen before but you couldn't help yourself.

They said that curiosity killed that cat, but in your case, it may have skinned it well first. You didn’t bother to let anyone know you were going, and you didn't care too.

All you knew was when Erik appeared, having pushed through the floor length mirror in your bedroom, you followed him into what could have been another world.

It was both grotesque and beautiful, the dark hallways smelling of musk and soot. You had lived in the dormitories all your life, but you never knew this was hidden just below.

It was clear that this was the most well guarded secret of all that the opera had to offer, and you had to consider yourself lucky to be standing where you were.

Even if maybe you weren’t quite sure why you were doing it.

“What is your name Monsieur? What do you want from me?” you asked, following behind him a quiet tone, having just stepped from the boat.

Where you were now was no more than a built up rock quarry under the opera, but it was decorated as a house would have been. Clearly, he had been living here.

For how long, you had no idea.

Erik didn’t speak at first, doing his best to think this whole thing out before he could ruin it. He had been watching you for so long, dreaming of how you would speak to him, and now that it was here, he was at a loss.

“I hate the way those other little creatures speak of you” he commented finally, not even bothering to introduce himself. It was probably best that you didn’t know who he was right away.

You knew what he was referring to almost immediately, taking it upon yourself to set down on the satin sheet of the bed now. You had no idea how he knew, but he must have been talking about Bernadette.

No one else spoke viley of you more than she did, and if that was why he’d chosen to speak to you, there had to be a reason.

Why would he care?

“She isn’t wrong in what she says, though it hurts” you shrugged, deciding that having someone to talk to was worth all the danger you’d put yourself in to get here.

There were so many unanswered questions but you couldn’t bother with them right now. All you could think about was this strange man, sitting in front of you now.

Half of his face was hidden from your view, those you focused mainly on his crystal blue eyes. They shone even in the darkness of the pit you were sitting in, and you wondered briefly what they would look like in the midmorning sun.

You assumed it would be like staring deep into a sparkling bay at the peak of summer, and that idea delighted you slightly.

“Don’t ever speak like that” he spat, a bit more upset than he meant to. It was just that it was bad enough to have to listen to them make up rude things about you.

The last thing Erik wasn’t was for you to start feeling them yourself.

“Why do you hide away? Why do you hide your face from me now?” you wondered, not letting the slip of his tongue frighten you, though maybe it should have.

For whatever reason, you felt safe here. Frankly, you were more comfortable sitting here, under the watchful gaze of a stranger, than you had ever been anywhere else.

It just didn’t make any sense that he would stay down here when all of Paris was right outside these walls.

“The world would not be kind to me, as it is unkind to you, and I hide from you so that you will not be afraid” he allowed, knowing that you were starting to feel more comfortable in this odd situation.

Had circumstances allowed it, he would have loved to meet you up there, in attendance of one of your shows. He would have loved to hear your voice in all its glory, but what he said was true.

The world had reared its ugly head to Erik before, and he wasn’t willing to go through that again.

“I will not be afraid” you promised, though when the male mentioned it no more, moving instead to talk about what he’d seen last night, you took that as your hint to do the same.

You didn't know this stranger, after all, and you didn't want to go too far.

“Why do you let them treat you so poorly. Surely you must know that you possess more talent than the lot of them combined” He wondered, almost reaching out to take your hand in his own before he stopped himself.

Erik yearned to feel your skin against this own, it was true, but he didn’t want to risk scaring you away before he even really got to know you.

He had to remember that while he felt like he knew you fully, you had only just met him.

It was a strange question, but all things considered, it was probably the most tame thing you had done all day so you answered him. “I can’t dance nearly as well as they can, besides, there is truth to what Bernadette said. I will never be a real opera singer, not the way I am”

There was a sadness in your voice, like you had already accepted it to be the only truth there was, and that was because you had. In your eyes, there was no room for a woman like you, a big woman.

You had heard everything there was.

That if you were to lose weight, you would be on stage every night. That you were wasting time on a dream with no future when you should be looking for a husband. That you would never find a husband unless you stopped eating.

It was never ending, but you had never admitted that to anyone before.

Maybe it was the odd comfort that you found in the presence of this stranger, or maybe it was because you were hidden away from the world, but you had said it out loud.

...And now Erik understood.

You had never understood what a beauty you were because no one would let you be true to it. No one would let you embrace the obvious beauty you had and instead forced it down within you.

They made you think that the problem with the world was you, when in reality, they were making up lies to keep you beneath them.

“You will never say those things again. You will be on stage, a night all to yourself, I’ll make sure of it” Erik decided, and while you had no idea what he was talking about or how that was going to happen, you nodded.

Anything seemed possible, sitting with a handsome stranger in the darkness and even if it was all a lie, you could bask in it for a little while.

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g-on-ef · 3 years

Note

Imagine Blitz being in a meeting with a client and unlike the others, is watching the panic button lights like a hawk. Hes not about to let some crazy client hurt his boyfriend.

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A/N: I took the same scene from the first episode and somewhat put it on the first paragraph but I'm excited for this one because of the client ^^ hope y'all like it ^^

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Striker stared at the call button resting on the desk he ignored the chaos that was going on around him.

Millie trying to get Moxxie to overcome his fears of killing a family {he seriously needs to get over that, he's a fucking murder he should be use to getting his hands dirty by now family or not}

Loona on her phone while ignoring the fact that the target Moxxie was trying to aim at was right next to her.

If Moxxie so much as hurt her there will be hell to pay.

Still Striker kept a close eye on the panic button. An Overlord came to visit them, not just any Overlord...Valentino.

Striker didn't want to leave Blitz alone with the fucktard.

Valentino wasn't his favorite Overlord, he was good friends with Angel Dust {despite him being a sinner}and when the spider demon would come to his apartment to get away from the moth douche bag Striker would always send Valentino a message as to why he shouldn't harm someone under his protection.

When the Overlord came in and demanded to speak to Blitz about hiring him for a job Striker immediately wrapped his tail around Blitz, showing the fucker that Blitz was under his protection as well as his mate since Striker kissed him in front of the moth demon and if anything happens to him he'll do more than destroy his clubs and kill his business partners.

They've been in the office for a good while now and Striker was getting antsy, he was tempted to barge in thinking the worse but he knew that if his mate was truly in danger Striker would've felt it through the bond.

So far all he felt was fear and reassurance as if his mate was sending him calming thoughts so that he didn't go barge in and attack the fucker there and then.

Still he kept his eyes on the panic button the minute he sees it go red is the minute he goes off.

"Hey dad what's wrong?" He looks up and sees Loona giving him a concern look.

"Nothing sweetie..."

His eyes flicker to the panic button and sees it going off, not wasting any time Striker heads for the door the mating bite was burning with fear and anxious.

Moxxie, Millie, and Loona stopped what they are doing as they see their second in command bargain through the door.

Striker kicks the door down and sees Valentino holding Blitz by his shirt.

"You will kill Vox's little sister!"

"I'm not killing a fucking five year old just because your boy toy decided to leave you for your other boy toy!"

Valentino was about to punch Blitz before a shot was aimed at the Overlord, the bullet purposely grazing his arm.

"Fuck!" Val grabbed his arm as blood spilled off it. A bullet bless by the angels. That shit was gonna scar.

He turned to see Striker point his angelic gun towards him. Glaring down at the Overlord.

"Thought I made it clear that you never, ever lay a hand on those I care about, and touching my mate is a huge no,"

Valentino turned to glare at the imp who was staring him down with a killer glare.

The Overlord growled at the fucker who dare shot at him.

"You dare shoot me?"

Striker's response was shooting him again only this time right on the shoulder.

"FUCK!"

"Get the fuck out, or the next bullet goes straight to your head,"

"I could kill you and your little whore,"

"I'd like to see you try,"

The two glare at each other before Valentino stood up straight, glaring at the imp he walked away from them.

"If you weren't Lilith's son I'd kill you here and now,"

"Tch, I don't need my incubator to defend me, we both know that you just a weak ass bitch who needs his own men to defend them. You may be an Overlord but we all know that that's just a fancy title for pigs like you to use to scare us Hellborns. We all know who's really at the bottom of the barrel don't we Val?"

The moth demon glared at him before he walked away Striker stepped back but kept his gun pointed at Valentino.

When the overlord stepped out Millie glared at him Moxxie hid behind her and Loon stood close by Striker, the cowboy pull her closer to his body. Fear that Valentino might take a cheap shot and hurt her .

Once he was gone Striker looked at her and the other imps.

"Go home, you guys have the rest of the day off," neither Millie nor Moxxie question him and headed back home.

Loona looked at her dad.

"Go upstairs and stay there till me and papa get there,"

Loona nodded her head before she also left.

Once everyone was gone Striker stepped into the office Blitz looked at him before offering him a reassuring smile.

Striker sat down on the couch and watched as Blitz settled some paperwork.

"Are you...okay?" striker asked him.

"Huh, oh yeah."

Striker checked the bond and saw that Blitz was being honest with him.

Blitz pit away his stack of papers before walking over to Striker and sitting down on his lap.

He lean down and kissed his mate pulling back he gave him a smile.

"Not that I enjoy your kisses but what was that for?"

"Well considering that my mate was a total bad ass today I say he deserves a reward,"

"Oh, and what reward would that be?" Striker's tail wrapped around his mate.

"I can think a few things," Blitz purred as he untied Striker's bandana and removed his jacket.

When Valentino showed up Blitz was scared but he wasn't worry how could he be when he knew his own personal guardian demon was watching over him.

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A/N: Idk why but I personally love to write Striker and Charlie as siblings ^^ but anywhore love it hate it tell me what you think also don't forget I am still taking any and all Striker/Blitz prompts ^^

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#striker x blitzo #blitzo x striker #blitzo helluva boss #helluva striker #helluva boss striker #helluva boss #answers asked #anon #anonymous

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kookiepredictions · 3 years

Text

Jungkook Current Energy

Jungkook has a... little skip in his step right now. He’s in LOVE. There might be a person in the picture but more than anything else, he is in love with LIFE. He is gracefully twirling out of mental and emotional binds that have been keeping him captive and he’s never felt freer! He feels like he has wings and he can fly and he wants to share this flight with those he loves. His heart space is overflowing with bliss and he wants to share this joy with everyone. Yet, he also realizes slowly that this is not something he can just give to someone— the other person has to be ready to receive it as well. So he is also safeguarding his bliss from those that might try to distort it with their own doubts or agenda. Outside, people might not even realize that his inner world is changing rapidly. After years of living life from external programming, Jungkook is now writing his own rules for his own life. There is a tsunami of rebellion inside his heart, but this is not the restless, chaotic kind— it is peaceful and stable, but also kind of a middle finger to external control programming lol. His bliss is not just confined to him either; I see a bevy of angels, guides and ancestors dancing around him in joy— it feels like a celebration! His heart chakra is spinning in a vortex of power that is soon going to be radiated all around him. Soon, his life is going to feel like a treasure trail where everyday he wakes up, each day feels like a diamond he has found on a walk— full of endless possibilities and rewards.

The last few years has felt like going through a series of doors where he opens one door which leads to another and then another... endlessly, and he was getting tired of it. Now he is at the threshold of the door that opens up to infinite space— it’s such a beautiful picture you guys I wish someone paints it— he will be standing on the edge of the earth with the door opening up to the stars where he will feel one with the cosmos, his bare feet planted firmly on the earth with long roots growing and connecting right to the core of the earth— he is placed perfectly between the physical and the divine realms. Right at this moment though, he is at the point where he is still ever-so-slightly hesitant. As I had mentioned in an earlier read, Jungkook attributes his spiritual journey and lessons and basically all good things to his Divine Feminine. There is an overwhelming gratitude that he feels for her and wants to share every beautiful experience and emotion that he feels with her. He is in a space with here where he trusts no one else with his happiness more than her. This is why, in happiness or in grief, in pain or in pleasure, he inadvertently wants to reach out to her. The “twin”, “I am you and you are me” aspect of this connection is dawning heavily on him and he can’t wait to experience this miraculous existence with her in the physical realm. This beautiful feeling when stretched out to the extreme, results in him being overly dependent on her which in turn makes the connection co-dependent which ultimately results in them repelling each other. This is why the more he tries to hold on to her tightly out of fear-based beliefs, the more he seems to be getting further away from her. This was the energy of the past, and Jungkook is slowly learning to let her go and ever since he has started to let go, she seems to be magically drawn to him. Right now he is in the energy of stepping into the realm of infinite possibilities and yet is just that bit hesitant and fearful where it’s like he is holding on to the pinky finger of her hand lol, unsure and fearful of what lies on the other side— kind of a “1 bird in hand is better than 2 in the bush” mentality. But what he is holding on to is only an old and outdated version of her; his Feminine has long since crossed over to the other side, so he’s only holding on to ashes, an illusion. It’s safe for him to fully let go and surrender. The upcoming theme for him is “sovereignty”. He is being led into direct connection with the Divine, who I see as his ultimate Guardian overseeing his whole life and his Twin Flame connection, where the Divine is like the father ushering in both of them into a life of bliss— I see 2 kids, a girl and a boy, frolicking in the fields— this is their inner children stepping out to play. His Feminine is already there and she and the Divine are waiting for him to let go of the past reality and step into this new one. For this, he has to go through the phase of spiritual sovereignty. He is being guided to be independent in his thoughts, beliefs and decisions— not just independent from those who he thinks are harmful, but also from those who he thinks are helpful, including his Feminine. Here, the point is not who is helpful, who is harmful, or who is good and who is bad, the point is only he can decide for himself from now on. Anything else will be rendered useless in his life. At this very moment, Jungkook is not entirely confident he can do it all by himself, plus as a perfectionist, he is extremely scared of making mistakes and putting himself and everyone else connected to him in jeopardy. But with energy, stagnation is more harmful than mistakes. In the bigger picture of the grand scheme of life, there are no mistakes. For every action is a step forward, so you can never really go backwards or do “harm” from a future perspective. The only harm therefore is to not make a choice, because if you don’t make a choice, someone else will and then you are in someone else’s reality rather than your own reality that you created from your own sovereign choice. There is also no rush or missed opportunities or moments, so take as long as you want, but be mindful that your life is a product of your own sovereign choice. Jungkook is being guided to step into the confidence of being a Creator, and is being encouraged by his guides and ancestors via synchronicities, rewards and surprises and of course, his intuition. In some recent happenings, he has had a taste of truthful sovereignty and he wants more. He is tuning into his intuition and realizing he is a lot more capable and connected than he has ever given himself credit for. He is slowly but surely learning to trust himself to take control over his thoughts, emotions and ultimately his life. Like I said, a tsunami of changes, but this tsunami is clearing away his old beliefs and programs and therefore, creating more calm and peace within him, that has also been gradually radiating outside where there will be visible changes in his aura and his beingness.

Nonetheless, Jungkook is happier than he has been in a while. Now on your spiritual journey, you will be met with a lot of happy moments and as a traveller that feels weary, it’s natural to want to settle for these happy moments and a lot of people make the mistake of doing so, not realizing that these are only the oasis in the desert. The actual goal is to cross the desert, because an oasis will not sustain you forever. Sooner or later, you will feel that this happiness is not enough and you need more, and that’s because as fulfilling as it is, it is limited. Jungkook is kind of wanting to settle in this moment of happiness because Lord knows how scarce this has been for him. And so, from time to time, he wants to hold on tightly to this, from fear that this might be taken away from him. But what he doesn’t realize (or know) is that the Divine has plans far, far bigger than this. This happiness will not be taken away from him, it will be magnified— should he dare to dream bigger. Right now, Jungkook’s conscious dreams and goals are not at par with what his soul had planned prior to his incarnation. He keeps limiting his goals from a lack of self worth and fear of the unknown, but he has been coming out of this energy for quite a while now, which has led him to this door of limitlessness. I’d say most of his hesitation is surrounding his Feminine because he fears if he lets go of her and focuses exclusively on himself and his life, he might lose her and mistakenly create a life where she is not with him. But the irony is that as Twin Flames, their souls have made a promise to each other: to only be with each other’s highest selves. This is why, when in their lowest selves, they repel each other and are stuck in the runner-chaser dynamic, but when operating from their higher selves, they attract each other. So to be with each other, they must be their true sovereign selves— devoid of any fear or doubts and instead, full of faith and that unconditional love that doesn’t seek to control or own but shares their own wings and flight with the other so both can fly free in a sky of infinite possibilities. Therefore, what Jungkook sees as letting go of her, is just him letting go of her illusion— she does not exist in that limited realm anymore. This is why Jungkook feels his fear of losing her slowly fading. As their souls are connected, it is simply an energetic reaction to her levelling up. This is the beauty of this connection— if one sets themselves free, the other will feel that urgency to follow suit, whether it makes sense or not. As his Feminine surrenders herself to the Divine, Jungkook is feeling this sense of surrender washing upon him too. Yet, his mind continues to challenge this phenomenon, wanting to stay back just a bit longer. However, given how long he has been in the healing, his mind is only putting up a weak fight; the surrender looms stronger. He is answering to his inner call, trusting that what he wants will not pass him by.

Another upcoming theme in his life is “explorer of the world”. In the last few years, Jungkook has been, knowingly or unknowingly, in the process of integrating 5D energy into his being. As this integration is complete, he will feel a strong urge to explore life, because this integration will feel like a rebirth or as if he has been transplanted with a new set of eyes and the world as he knew earlier, seems so different. Where previously, the world was a dull, colourless existence full of misery and struggle, now the world will seem bright, colourful and full of possibilities. When he has this new eyesight, he will want to re-engage with the world in a new way and re-experience it all over again. Therefore his call to “sovereignty” is a preparation for this new life. As I said earlier, his soul believes that his conscious plans are not at par with his unlimited capabilities, so this upcoming stage in his life will be about re-imagining his goals and dreams. If he could have ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING in this world, what are the things would he truly want? So far Jungkook’s goals have been very practical and dare I say, from a lack mindset where he focused more on what is practically possible and what is not. Still, it’s because of his sincerity and purity of heart that the Divine has blessed him with so much more than what he had originally expected. Therefore so far, his achievements have been more of a Divine intervention than a conscious creation on his part— kind of like, wow, big things happened and let me just roll with it and work hard to keep them going. That reality is now ending for him. Through his Twin Flame connection that gives him so much happiness, the Divine is now asking him to be a conscious creator. It’s like holding up a shiny toy in front of him like, you want this? You want to have exactly what you want? Then get comfortable being a sovereign creator. Of course, he will still be supported by the Divine because his soul has literally signed up to be in this role. The only thing that is standing between his present self and the self that gets everything he wants is Faith— faith in his own abilities to navigate his own path to his own highest self, and faith in a higher Divine guardianship that is always, always watching over him, protecting him, guiding him, always ready to give him whatever support he needs. As long as he places his faith in any other person of this world, no matter how capable they are, he will keep hitting a wall, because it’s now time for him to be his own guide with support straight from the Divine. This includes his Feminine— powerful as she is in her spiritual abilities, she can never replace the Divine in his life; in fact as his Divine counterpart (it’s in the name), she will always nudge him towards the Divine. The more he tries to get close to her for guidance, the more she will push him away and guide him towards the Divine. She won’t even have to do it consciously; this will happen energetically.

Jungkook has been yearning to manifest his Twin Flame connection into an earthly relationship as fast as possible, but the Divine is like, are you sure you know exactly what you want? Because it’s not just about a person, it’s also about everything else in the relationship. And what about your life? Do you know exactly what you want in life? Jungkook’s manifestations are actually being delayed because his soul had made far bigger plans for his life and is like, nah uh, your earthly plans are wee compared to mine, and is egging him on to expand his consciousness beyond his perceived limits. His connection is not manifesting because this alone time is meant for him to re-evaluate his goals and plans. Like I said, so far, Jungkook has been in the habit of planning practically. This time, armed with an open heart space and a limitless consciousness, he will be able to foresee his life more clearly and more in alignment with his soul plan. His manifestations are being delayed not because the Divine doesn’t support him, but because the Divine refuses to let him settle for anything less than he deserves. To top it off, the Divine wants him to have the pleasure of co-creating all of this as a conscious creator. This is that unconditional love that he has been seeking from his Feminine and yet is rejecting from the Divine, not realizing that that is where this love flows from.

So, as soon as that final door opens, he will find himself in an exciting adventure of literally creating and building a new life for himself— all from what he wants and what makes him happy, rather than what he was told was possible or impossible. As they say, the sky will be the limit for him— the sky will be his huge canvas for him to fill with every colour and pattern that he wants his life to be filled with, right from the tiniest, silliest things to jaw-droppingly grand ones. It’s an open ended question with unlimited potential: what does he want? Does he want to be the king of the world? Or maybe he wants to go to a small seaside village, swim with the sharks, sleep under the stars and write poetry by the fire? Or maybe he wants to dive into world music, make little playlists and fall in love with the idea of love itself? It’s a main character energy he will be getting into where he explores life again, but this time with joy and bliss in his heart instead of fear and limits. Maybe he doesn’t see it yet but this “alone” (I mean separate from his Feminine) time is crucial because 1) how disappointing it would be if he ended up manifesting a life that doesn’t have everything that he would want, simply because he did not put in the time to think of everything he wants, and 2) this little adventure will lead him to himself like no one else ever can. Okay, so flashback, one of the first things I noticed about Jungkook is his self denial. I mean in a world full of narcissists, it is refreshing to see someone who doesn’t think he’s all that lol, but it is also sad because self denial is not the same as humility. Jungkook doesn’t have imposter syndrome either, much less even being an imposter, no, he’s always himself, but it’s more like he doesn’t completely put himself out there. Ad I don’t mean in the privacy kind of way, that is different, but Jungkook holds back from a very deep sense of something like “I’m not all that amazing to be putting myself out there so much”. Maybe he even thinks that he’s “too much”. It’s a miracle that even after holding back so much, what we see of him still impresses and amazes us, but it’s like, there’s so much more where that came from! I always feel like I have to look at him through a magnifying glass because of how much of himself he holds back, and yet it’s contradictory because his energy is so strong! Therefore I believe it’s more of a conscious habit to constantly “hide” even when he is in full show. This definitely stems from his harsh self judgment. I do see him coming out of this mindset, but the flip side of this is overgiving and overdoing to a point of being performative. So even when you think he is giving his 100%, most of the time he is performing. What I mean by this is, he might DO 100% (or even 200%), but he isn’t BEING 100%. The problem with this is that no matter how much you do, you will come across as “not enough” because you’re not being your whole self. In spirituality these days, there is a lot of emphasis on being and rightly so, because being a 100% will naturally attract things to you that doing a lot more than that won’t. This is why this upcoming phase of his life where he exclusively explores his own mind and his own life will help him gather all of his scattered bits and pieces so he can be a 100% wherever he goes and whatever he does. Because the only time he is able to be 100% is when he lives from a place of joy and bliss. This is also why he craves his Feminine so much— doing even the littlest, most random things for and with her makes him feels whole and complete, because he does these things straight from the heart, with joy. But this is only a temporary fix and also toxic because she can’t keep making him complete; it’s draining for her if it turns into her responsibility. Instead, if he focuses on making himself whole, whatever she does for and with him will feel even more joyful because it’s freeing. And also, no matter how amazing your goals and plans are for life, the most important element to enjoy life is you— if you do not feel whole and complete, no matter where you go, who you are with, and how great of a person they are, you will still feel empty. The Divine said that’s not going to happen with Jungkookie lol. So yes, in the near future, you will find him focusing on this area of his life. The era of “holding back” Jungkook will soon be over, and given that he has been so entertaining and endearing already, God save us when he steps out in his full form, without doubts, questions, denials and also without the need to people-please an instead just being his whole complete self, secure and peaceful in the knowledge of who he is and that he always gets what he wants. It is this self-assured beingness that will give him the confidence to step forward knowing that any outer problem or resistance will have to fall back because when you’re on your Divinely destined path, literally hell and heaven both support you. Of course this is not to say that he will never face problems, that is not the point of life at all, rather he is working on being centered in himself so that no matter what the external situation is, he always knows exactly what he wants and doesn’t stop until he gets it. Jungkook 2.0 is coming soon you guys! Of course I say Jungkook 2.0 but it’s more like him going back to the point of starting his career, because that’s where he sort of started living this life. He’s going back to the wide-eyed wonder he had about this career— a place of art, beauty, creativity and love from millions. He’s going back to re-discovering the fun aspect of this life as it used to be back in the day when they were at point 0, where they had nothing to prove, no one to please and nothing to lose. Just a path of endless possibilities and the excitement of trying out new things and the pure joy they received from the love of their first batch of Armys when none of the big shots in the world was looking their way. Although that exact external situation won’t come back, he can still recreate the freshness of the inner mindset. The demand of the moment is to let go of expectations regarding outcomes and dive into the joy of creating. The Divine only has the best of rewards in store for him and won’t budge unless he aligns his conscious wants with the best. That’s all folks, I wish him well in his what I know is going to be a magnificent journey. The Feminine is just the cherry on top, but also like, the cake and the icing needs to be ready first :)

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