#but she’s moving soon for uni and will be on the other side of the country

[victory-cookies]

.

[asahicore]

bad news first - sjy (m)

this work contains smut - minors please do not interact pairing. jake x fem!reader synopsis. From the moment you'd met at eight to the day he moved to South Korea at fourteen, you and Jake were inseparable. But after years of being apart, you've come to terms with the fact that at twenty, you and Jake just aren't what you used to be. That is until you get a text from him, and all of a sudden, he's back by your side, doing his year abroad at the university you study at, and all your feelings for him float back up to the surface. genre. college au, childhood friends to ???? to lovers, painful mutual pining, one bed trope..... a sprinkle of angst (my hand slipped) but mostly fluff i promise and smut (mdni!!!), also i made sunghoon really weird in this and idkw, this is set in scotland.. edinburgh uni rep!! word count. 23k author's note. everybody say happy belated birthday to @zreamy.. happy belated birthday zo!!! being 22 years and 6 days old is cooler than just 22 years old anyway.. hope you like it bestie... if you dont... well theres a building on campus thats 17 stories high sooo.. enjoy! i hope everyone else enjoys too, since this is a bday fic for zo she couldnt beta read so i had to raw dog this so if its terrible.. not my fault! lmk what u think!! i also made a playlist for this, do listen along!!

“Alright kids, good news or bad news first?”

You looked at your teacher, then at the boy next to you, then back at your teacher. “Bad news first,” you said in unison.

You were only eight, but you were both wise enough to know that hearing good news second would assuage the blow of whatever these bad news were. Miss Dawson sighed as she crouched in front of you. “The bad news is your bus driver is on strike and won’t be coming. The good news is that your parents have been informed and are coming to pick you up soon.”

Following her instructions, you headed to the gymnasium and sat there silently among the other kids. Not many kids in your class rode the bus home, and the ones who did seemed to have drivers not on strike, so it was just the two of you. You were used to that, though - over January and February, you had made a sort of silent pact to stand and wait for the bus together. You sometimes shared snacks, but you never spoke. For some reason, you felt at ease with this boy, even though you didn’t know much about him. You had heard he had moved to Brisbane just at the start of this year, all the way from South Korea. You were pretty sure his name was Jake.

You handed him one of your Twix bars. Then he spoke. “I thought a strike was when you did really well in bowling.”

“Same,” you replied, mouth full of chocolate and caramel. “I’m not sure why that would keep the bus driver from picking us up.”

Jake looked at you with wide eyes, distress clear in them. “Do you think he went bowling instead of picking us up?”

This made you frown. “That’d be really rude.”

“It would. I always make sure to go bowling on the weekends, ‘cause if I missed school that’d be rude to Miss Dawson.”

You nodded your head in fervent agreement. “For sure.”

That weekend, his mum called your mum to ask if you wanted to go to the bowling alley with them. From then on, for the next six years, you were stuck together by glue. 

--

Twelve years later, Jake’s name appearing on your phone screen has become such a rare sight, you don’t believe it right away. It takes you a few seconds of intense squinting at the letters to actually realise your eyes aren’t deceiving you.

jake.sim15 hey y/n!! you go to edinburgh uni right?

You type and delete three different responses before settling for a simple yeah, I am! what’s up?, hoping you sounded nonchalant even though you very much felt chalant. You thought that whatever you sent wouldn’t be as weird as taking forever to answer such a straightforward question. 

As you wait for Jake’s reply, you scroll through your previous shared messages, noting with sadness that for three years in a row, the only instances you’d texted were to wish each other a happy birthday or when he reacted with a fire emoji to Stories of your dog, Milo. Before that, your last conversation was to congratulate each other about getting into your top choice universities and to discuss plans for your respective futures.

Futures that used to include each other, you think. His reply appears at the bottom of your screen before melancholy can fill your heart.

jake.sim15 i applied to go there for my year abroad next year annnnd i got in !! heh

You shoot up straight from your seat on the lounge chaise you’d been sunbathing on, a loud “Oh my God!” involuntarily escaping your mouth. 

“What? What happened? Is everything okay?” Chaewon asks frantically, rushing over to your side. “Oh,” she says when she sees your phone. “It’s a text… from a boy?” 

This makes Yunjin, previously unbothered by your panic, rise from her seat and take off her sunglasses. “A boy? Show me,” she demands, snatching your phone from your hands before you can protest. Upon seeing the texts on your screen, she lets out a loud gasp. “It’s not just any boy! It’s the one and only Jake Sim himself.”

“Give that back!” you plead, hand reaching for your phone, but Yunjin is already walking away.

“And he’s coming to Edi this September, apparently. He says he’s sorry for not saying anything earlier, but he was waiting for an answer up until now.” She scoffs. “Leave it to our uni to tell someone they’re in less than two months before term starts. Oh, you’re the first person he’s told, Y/N! After his parents. How cute,” she coos, protesting when you snatch your phone back from her. “Hey! I was reading that.”

“Those are my texts, Yunjin. I’m the one who’s meant to read them.”

She shrugs. “You would’ve told us anyway.”

“What are you going to reply?” Chaewon asks. With the both of them hovering over your shoulders and watching as you type a response, a sort of stage fright comes over you, making you send what might be the most unoriginal reply known to man.

“Awesome? Seriously, Y/N?” Yunjin reads, disproportionately disgusted with you.

“That’s a lot of exclamation marks. It almost makes it look like you don’t mean it,” Chaewon says.

“I do mean it!”

“Well, he seems to like it. A smiling-with-teeth emoji is a good sign, right?” she asks in an attempt to make you feel better.

“He has automatic caps off. That man is run-through,” Yunjin says, shaking her head as she walks back to her sunbed.

“You were excited about him texting me just a second ago,” you reproach.

“Yeah, before I found out he was a whore.”

“Yunjin, you know we don't slut-shame here!” Chaewon exclaims. Before Yunjin can say anything even worse in response, your phone starts ringing, and Jake’s name appears on your screen. “He’s calling you?” Chaewon gasps, making Yunjin sit up with a start for the second time in less than five minutes.

“This man is insane,” she remarks with all the seriousness in the world.

You run away from your friends, finding refuge in the outside kitchen area out of earshot. They don’t need to hear your conversation with Jake. You love them, but they can be weirdly unsupportive in moments like these.

“Hey, Jake,” you greet, hoping he doesn’t notice the breathlessness in your voice. It was because you had just ran, of course - you didn’t want him to think you were so nervous about talking to him after such a long time, you could barely breathe. Because you weren’t. At all.

“Hey, Y/N!” he replies, and the excitement in his voice makes your heart melt. “I hope it’s not weird that I called, I just thought it’d be nicer than texting, is that okay?”

“Yeah, it’s fine, it’s nice to hear your voice,” you say before you can really think about it, and cringe at your own words. Years without talking and the world’s worst line is the first thing you say to Jake. Thankfully, before you start excruciating yourself, a chuckle pours out of Jake’s throat and blesses your ears.

“It’s nice to hear your voice, too. What are you up to?” 

“Oh, I’m on vacation with my friends. One of them has a rich aunt who owns a villa in southern Italy, so we’re just chilling by the pool right now.” 

“You always wanted to go to Italy! That sounds so nice,” he says. Your breath catches gently in your throat - he remembers, you note.

“Yeah, it really is. What about you, how are you spending the summer?”

Jake tells you about the local bookstore owned by a grandpa that’s always had a soft spot for him and that gave him a part-time job for the summer. “I’m trying to save up as much money as I can before I leave. If I treat you to a meal, will you show me around the city?” he asks, and you can hear the grin in his voice. It makes you realise how much you’ve actually missed him.

“You don’t need to treat me to a meal, I’ll show you around anyway.” 

Still, he insists, and you find yourself giving in quickly - because it’s Jake or because free food is on the table, you’re not sure. Probably both. 

You and Jake get to talking, but fitting years and years of catching up into one conversation is an impossible task, and before you know it, when you check your phone, you’ve been talking for over an hour. Yunjin is angrily waving at you, pointing at her stomach to indicate hunger like a caveman who’s just learned how to communicate. You apologise to Jake, telling him you have to go, and plan to meet during fresher’s week before you hang up.

A few hours later, you get a text from him saying it was nice talking to you and jokingly asking whether Yunjin was satisfied with lunch. It’s innocuous, but it opens a gate for more texting, which leads to long, rambling voice messages, which leads to late-night phone calls that remind you of when you were fifteen and still kept in touch. When August fades into September, you feel like you’ve got your best friend back. 

You remember why you were so in love with him at fourteen.

--

You see Jake before he sees you.  

Among the throngs of people, you manage to spot the dark, messy flop of hair on his head weighed down by a nice pair of wireless headphones. After a thirteen-hour flight from Seoul, a four-hour layover in Frankfurt and a final, two-hour flight to Edinburgh, he looks rightfully exhausted, using what looks like the last of his energy to spot the exit and the airport bus stop. Even wearing a simple denim jacket, white tee and grey sweatpants, he’s so gorgeous you forget what you came here for, until he almost walks right past you without seeing you. You put yourself in his path and hold your hand-written banner up, making yourself as obvious as you can as you call out his name. 

When he sees you, he stops dead in his tracks for a second, someone almost running into him before he remembers the crowd behind him. His tired features break out into a bright smile that has your heartbeat speeding up so much, you think it might run out of your chest. 

He had told you not to come, that it would be late for you and he didn’t want to bother you, but you had managed to get the information of his arrival before he forbade you from picking him up so you did it anyway, wanting to surprise him. After years of being apart, rather than waiting another day, you wanted to see him as soon as possible.

Jake briskly makes his way to you, dropping his bags next to him on the floor as he engulfs you in a hug, warm and tight as if he’s trying to make up for all those years. You hug him back as if someone would appear out of thin air and take him away from you again.

“This was the longest day of my life, I’m so happy to see you,” he says when he pulls away, and you’re so happy you can’t even say anything back, resorting to giggling and lightly swatting non-existent dust off of his shoulders. 

As you wait for the bus, he tells you about every trivial thing that happened to him on his trip, from how expensive a sandwich is at the airport to the German kid sitting in front of him that kept turning around to stare at him on his second flight.

“How did you know he was German?” you ask, amused.

Jake pauses. “Just vibes.”

Conversation on the bus is slightly disjointed as you jump from topic to topic with random pauses here and there before one of you finds something to talk about - but it’s okay, you hadn’t expected for the two of you to be as easy as before. It’s more awe at seeing each other after such a long time than awkwardness. Even though you’d caught up over summer, there was a world of difference between speaking on the phone and actually sitting next to him. You notice things like the shine of his hair, the creases that form on the sides of his lips when he smiles, or, unfortunately for you, the veins that run along his forearms and hands - things you hadn’t noticed previously thanks to the sometimes questionable quality of the front camera of his phone. Once in a while, your thigh brushes against his, and it reminds you that he’s really here. Even that he’s real, at all. 

In a tragic turn of events, Jake lives in the student accommodation you used to live in in first year, and coming back to it two years later is slightly traumatising. His three-person flat is in a different building as your old one, and you marvel at how it somehow still smells the same - like dusty, decade-old carpeting and the permanent stench of students’ dubitable cooking. He’s the first one to move in, which makes the place slightly eerie, but it means that you’re not bothering anyone by unpacking Jake’s stuff and cooking Shin Ramyun the previous tenants had left behind at 11pm. 

Your late dinner was meant for you to take a small break, watch a couple episodes of Friends which Jake had been shocked to learn you’d never watched, and you had been shocked to learn he was a die-hard fan of (since one year ago), then get back to unpacking. But the ramen sends an already exhausted Jake into a food coma so intense, he falls asleep on your shoulder five minutes into the second episode. 

You let him sleep as long as he needs, turning the volume down on his laptop and stifling your chuckles as much as you can. You feel like a cat has fallen asleep in your lap - you are now obliged by law to stay still until Jake wakes up. It’s not until an hour later that Jake’s uncomfortable sleeping position forces him awake, lifting his head off of your shoulder with a grunt. He looks around himself, at his room that’s not quite familiar to him yet, then at you, eyes still scrunched with sleepiness as a grin blooms onto his lips.

“Sorry,” clearing his throat of its grogginess. “What time is it?”

“It’s almost one a.m,” you reply, and his eyes go wide.

“You should’ve woken me up! Does your shoulder hurt?” he asks, much more alarmed than he should be, and it makes you laugh.

“It’s all good. But now that you’re awake, I should probably head home.” 

“I’ll get you an Uber,” he says, already pulling out his phone. 

“It’s fine, Jake, my place is a ten-minute walk from here. I live just up the road.”

Jake’s fingers on his phone pause as he looks up at you. “Then I’ll walk you home.” He lifts a finger in warning when he sees you start to protest. “And don’t fight me on this. You did so much today, it’s the least I can do.”

As much as you love the idea of spending more time with Jake, even if it’s just ten minutes, you still don’t want to bother him when you know how tired he is. “It’s really safe around here. I can just text you when I’m home, if you’re worried about me getting kidnapped or something,” you say, taking his jacket from his hands and placing it back on his desk chair.

He grabs it back, putting it on before you can take it from him again, and rummages through one of his suitcases for a black, woolly scarf. Neither of you speaks as he wraps it tight around your neck, even though the early September weather isn’t cold enough to warrant it. His hands stop briefly on the scarf and a small smile spreads on his lips. You hope he doesn’t hear your sharp intake of breath when your eyes meet. “It’s not about that,” he says simply, voice low and unlike you’ve ever heard it before. You don’t think his voice had quite finished cracking when he’d moved away back then. 

Suddenly, he steps away, grabs his keys, and heads for the door. “Let’s go!” he says, voice back to its usual cheery tone. You don’t find it in you to question him, so you just follow him out, welcoming the night breeze that cools down your burning cheeks with open arms. 

The walk to your place is mostly done in comfortable silence, but it still goes by too quickly for your liking. You keep your hands in your pockets to prevent yourself from doing something stupid, like reaching out for Jake’s hand that swishes back-and-forth as he walks. Instead, you bury your nose in his scarf and relish in the unfamiliar but comforting smell that his cologne has left behind on the fabric. You hug goodbye when you reach your flat, and you have to remind yourself to let go. He insists on you keeping the scarf. “My mum packed me, like, three, so you can have that one.” 

“Your mum still pack your things for you, does she?” you ask, tone playful.

“No-” he says, voice slightly whiny, before he realises you’re just teasing him. “Whatever,” he chuckles, ruffling your hair. You hope the streetlights aren’t bright enough for him to notice the flustered look on your face. The both of you stand there awkwardly for a second, before he lets out another chuckle. “Right. See you tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” you beam.

“Okay,” he says, but still doesn’t make a move to leave. “Okay. Yeah. I’ll be off then.” He gives you one last smile then turns around, burying his hands in his pockets, and you watch as he walks away.

“Get home safe,” you call out after a few seconds. 

He pivots on his heels, and, with a wave of his hand, says, “I will! Go inside.”

“Good night!”

“Night, Y/N!”

When you walk into your living room, Yunjin is sitting on the couch, arms crossed over her chest, gaze trained on the wall opposite her, one lamp lighting the otherwise completely dark room. She looks like a detective in one of those bad cop shows.

“Gosh, what’s all this for?”

“You’re back awfully late,” she says, neither looking at you nor answering your question.

“Yeah, I was with Jake,” you shrug, heading into the kitchen for a glass of water. She abruptly gets up from her seat, following you into the other room and staying close behind you.

“And?” she demands, mouth way too close to your ear and making you start.

“And what?” you ask. 

“What do you mean and what?!” she says, clearly agitated. “I want to know everything!”

“There’s nothing to say, really. He seemed happy I picked him up from the airport, then I helped him unpack. He lives in Riego, by the way.”

“Ew.”

“I know, it was awful going back there.”

The two of you stare at each other as you drink your water. “Well?” she asks.

“What?”

“Is that it?”

You fill your glass again to take it into your bedroom. “I don’t know, we just ate and watched Friends.”

“You hate shows with laughing tracks,” she states like it’s an accusation.

“It wasn’t actually that bad,” you reply, shrugging.

She tuts. “Love will do ugly, ugly things to a person.”

“You’ve been in a loving relationship for the past two years.”

“This isn’t about me. Can we talk about how you’re still in love with the same loser from when you were ten?”

“I was fourteen, and don’t call Jake a loser when you haven’t even met him.” You ignore the roll of her eyes. “And I’m not. Not anymore. I’m just happy to have my friend back.” Yunjin gives you a look. “Okay, maybe I’m still a little bit in love with him. But it’s so little, it’s barely there.” Her expression is unchangingly unimpressed and you can’t help but throw in the towel. “Alright, fine. I still love him, what about it?”

“You’re pathetic.”

“I know that, no need to remind me.”

“Are you gonna do something about it?”

“My patheticness? I’ve tried, didn’t really work.”

“No, idiot, about Jake. You should go and get him! It’d be so sexy if you got together as 20-somethings after knowing each other since you were babies.”

“We were eight when we met. And I don’t know if sexy is the word I’d use here.”

“Anything is sexy if you try hard enough,” she says, and you have to laugh. “Anyways, you should confess your undying love and tell him you’ve felt that way since you met.”

“I wasn’t-”

“Guys might not show it, but they probably get all hot for stuff like that. Boosts their ego and shit.”

“Yunjin, I just got my friend back, I’m not gonna risk it. Plus, who knows, I might not actually be in love with him. It might just be my emotions acting up, like, seeing someone I used to like after a while. We’ve both changed so much, once I get to know him more now, I might not even feel the way I used to.”

“Notice how you’ve used the word might twice in ten seconds? You’re just trying to find excuses.”

You groan. “This is why I hate English Lit people.”

“You do English Lit.”

“I know, and I’m the only nice person that does it.” In your head, you add and Jake, but saying it out loud would only make this conversation worse for you.

“What’s that scarf, by the way? Did he give you that?”

You look down at the scarf like it’s a piece of incriminating evidence. “Can you stop grilling me, please? It’s late.”

“You’re not answering my question.”

You sighed deeply. “Fine. Yes, he gave me-”

“It’s not even that cold outside!” she exclaimed in an outrage. “Don’t tell me he also walked you home?”

You pause. “He did.”

She gasped. “He walked you home because he’s in love with you.”

“He walked me home because he’s a good friend that looks after me.”

“He walked you home because he realised how hot you’ve gotten and he wants some of that.”

All you can do is sigh. “Whatever. I’m going to bed.”

“If you weren’t such a coward, you wouldn’t be going to bed alone.”

“Whatever!” you say, shutting the door behind you, shaking that preposterous conversation out of your head. When you get into bed, it takes you at least half-an-hour before you can settle down, but you know your constant tossing and turning isn’t due to your inability to find a comfortable enough position to sleep in. Between your evening with Jake and Yunjin’s pestering, thoughts run wild and incoherent through your head. 

You want to tell her every little thing that happened with Jake tonight, but you’re afraid it might do you more harm than good. She is most definitely the type of friend who will take the smallest action a guy did for you or the most meaningless thing he might have said and turn it into a sign that he has the hots for you, which usually does wonders for your confidence, but right now, you don’t need that kind of delusion. Did seeing your childhood best friend you used to secretly harbour feelings for make you feel some type of way? Of course, but that doesn’t mean you still love him after all this time, after six years of being apart, the majority of those years spent with no contact. It wasn’t like you parted ways with resentment, or anything of that sort, far from it; rather, you drifted apart naturally, as two teenagers with over 7000 kilometres between them would. At first, you’d call frequently and even write each other letters - but as you became more preoccupied with school, friends, and extracurriculars, your phones gradually rang less and your mailboxes became gradually emptier. You don’t even remember who sent the last, unanswered letter. 

Tonight isn’t the first time you replay the moment Jake announced that he would go away, but it’s the first time it’s a bittersweet memory. It used to only be bitter - but now that you’ve reconnected, you can look back at it with fondness, wishing you could tell fourteen-year-old you the hurt would only last so long. 

It hadn’t started unusually.

“So, bad news first, right?”

In your six years of friendship with Jake, this had been the first time you’d really been wary of what he would say next. The look on his face told you that this bad news wouldn’t be as easy to shake off as usual. Your definition of bad news was things like I got grounded so I can’t hang out, I forgot we had a test tomorrow so I can’t hang out, my allergies are acting up again so I can’t hang out.

“I’m moving to Korea next month.”

I’m on another continent, so I can’t hang out.

You remember the words not quite making sense at the time. “Oh? How long are you staying there?” you said, taking a bite of your strawberry ice cream which Jake had insisted on paying for, even though you knew he didn’t get much allowance.

“Forever.”

You stopped chewing, and the ice cream melted uncomfortably in your mouth. You don’t know how long you stayed there, frozen as you stared at your best friend in disbelief. It wasn’t until he lightly shoved your shoulder, only meeting your eyes for a split second, that you remembered to swallow and to say something.

“Forever as in… You won’t live here anymore? At all?”

Jake shook his head. He kept his eyes trained on the vanilla-chocolate ice cream sandwich he’d left in its wrapper. In the blazing hot Brisbane summer, it had probably fully melted two minutes ago. “At all.”

“Oh,” was all you found yourself able to say. For some reason, you hoped that continuing to eat your ice cream would stop you from crying, but to no avail. Hot, salty tears quickly started raining down your cheeks, mixing with the sweetness of your ice cream when they reached your lips. 

“It’s my dad’s work. Same reason why I moved here when we were kids in the first place. They wanted him here then, they want him back there now. We just have to follow,” Jake explained, sounding just as upset as you felt.

“Right.”

“Are you mad at me?” Jake asked, worry clear in his voice, and finally turned to face you. At the sight of you crying, he let out a small oh, tears of his own pooling in his eyes.

You frowned. “Of course not. I’m never mad at you, you know that. I just… You’re my best friend, Jakey. It’s gonna be so lame around here without you.”

“It’ll be lame there without you, too.”

You attempted a smile. “Well, of course. But at least you’ll get to make new friends, see new places. You’ll be in a whole other country, I’m sure you’ll have fun there. I’m gonna be stuck in boring old Brisbane for the foreseeable future.”

“Do you know how offended our friends would be if they heard you speaking right now?” he asked, nudging your shoulder with his.

You sniffled and let out a chuckle. “They’re all great, but… I don’t like them nearly as much as I like you,” you said, staring down at your hands, hoping he wouldn’t realise exactly what you meant by that statement.

A weight was lifted off of your shoulders when Jake answered. “I like you the most too, Y/N.” You tried not to think too much about whether he’d meant it platonically or romantically - none of that mattered anymore. All that mattered was the feeling of his arms around you, his warmth enveloping your whole body, his familiar scent that you already missed. 

You felt him take a deep breath against you before he pulled away. He sniffled and did his best to put on a smile. “Right, enough of that. I’m not leaving until next month, so don’t think you’re rid of me just yet,” he joked, and it helped alleviate the weight on your heart, even if just a little. “You said you had something to tell me? Good news after bad news, and all that.”

“Oh. Right. I forgot about that.”

You thought for a second. Today was the day you had planned to confess your feelings to Jake - you’d only told him you had good news to share. But what was the point now that he was leaving? If he felt the same way, it would only make his departure that much harder, and if he didn’t, it would ruin your last moments together. It just wasn’t worth it.

Jake tilted his head, waiting for you to speak. In a split second, you made yourself forget your disappointment over having built the courage to tell him how you felt only for it all to fall through, and resolved to make the most of Jake’s last month here. You wiped your tears and mirrored his small smile as best you could. “Um, it wasn’t anything much. My mum made those cowboy cookies you like.”

Jake’s head fell back as he groaned in anticipation. “If she wasn’t happily married with three kids, I’d marry your mum. Let’s go right now.”

You laughed. “There’d be a bit of an age gap there.”

“We’d make it work,” Jake joked, throwing his arm around your shoulders as you walked towards your house. He beamed down at you, his bright, boyish smile that you loved to bits, and you beamed up at him as you grabbed the hand that hung off your shoulder in your own.

You walked as happily as you could. “Do you even speak Korean?” you suddenly asked.

Jake halted abruptly in his steps, a gravely offended look on his face. When you looked back at him in confusion, he rolled his eyes and started walking again, pulling you with him. “It’s literally my mother tongue, Y/N. I speak it every day at home.”

“Oh, right.”

At the time, you thought nothing could come between you and Jake. Not anyone, not anything, neither distance nor time. But they did. A week after he’d left, a boy from your class you’d talked to maybe once or twice asked you out on a date. You weren’t sure why, but you said yes. Then you said yes to being his girlfriend, even though you didn’t like him all that much, and you even said yes to reducing your texting with Jake because it made him jealous. When you’d broken up with him and wanted to catch up with Jake and apologise for your absence, you’d found that his new school in Seoul was a lot more demanding than yours in Brisbane, and he had to spend most of his evenings in academies if he wanted to get into a nice university. It’s when you learned that he’d be staying in South Korea for college that you decided to leave Australia too. Brisbane was a lot less fun without him there - why bother staying? You couldn’t go to him because of the language barrier and the cost of university there. If you were to essentially uproot your life, might as well go somewhere you could get a scholarship and understand the people around you. 

It seemed insane that someone you had thought would be by your side for the rest of your life, someone that was part of your most cherished memories, had been reduced to someone you casually texted once in a while. It seems even more insane that now that you’re finally done essentially grieving your friendship with Jake, he stands in front of you again, six inches taller but still donning those puppy-like eyes and smile of his.

For your sake, you just hoped you wouldn’t be as in love with him at twenty as you were at fourteen.

--

The next day, you show Jake around campus, which wouldn’t normally take more than ten minutes, but takes double that time because of the sheer amount of people there. Between the Societies Fair taking up most of the square, the tour guides leading freshers, walking slowly and taking in their new campus, and the pizza and drinks stands, freshers’ week always turns campus into what feels like the busiest place on Earth. You try not to let it hit a nerve for Jake’s sake, who’s clearly ecstatic at all the activity, but you like this place a lot more when it’s quieter. You walk through the Fair, laughing as Jake marvels at all the different clubs and societies at the Uni. 

“Gardening Society? Dungeons & Dragons Society? Wine society?” he exclaims, astonishment growing with every passing stand.

“And this is only the first day. They also have a Taylor Swift Society.” He grabs a flyer from about every society, even though you know he’ll join between two to zero of them. 

When you walk out, there’s a girl handing out samples of shampoo and conditioner, and you let her give you one, more out of politeness than anything. 

“These are so useless,” you start, and Jake chuckles, unaware of the incoming rant. “I had that job of distributing them last year, and we would get a tip if we gave them all out. So naturally I put a bunch in my bag, but then I had to use them for like two weeks.” You sigh. “First of all, my hair did not like it. And second, the ratio is so off. There’s way more conditioner than shampoo when it should be the other way around, so you have to condition your hair even though it’s not properly clean. So stupid.”

“Sounds terrible,” Jake says, laughing. “Is that why you’re not doing it this year?”

“Oh… Not really. I dated the guy that takes care of this promo stuff, so it would’ve been kinda awkward…” you trail, immediately wishing you could backtrack on conversation. Talking about your ex with Jake wasn’t on your to-do list for today. Or ever.

“You dated your boss?”

“The manager, yeah, I guess. He was only 24, though, don’t worry.”

“I’m more worried about the power imbalance than the age gap there.”

You shrug, looking down at your shoes. “It’s not like he was that high up.”

“So, what happened? Why did you break up?”

“Well, he acted like our four-year age difference meant he could treat me like a little kid. It was nice being taken care of at first but then I realised how condescending he was and dumped him.”

“How long were you together?”

You pause. “Two weeks,” you admit abashedly, making Jake chuckle. “At least he didn’t waste my time and showed his red flags early on.”

“Any boyfriends since?” he asks, and you wonder whether you’re making up the unsure tone of his voice. As if he’s curious, but doesn’t want to show it too much. You hope you’re not making it up.

“A few, but they never last very long with me,” you say, a meek smile on your lips. “Furthest I got was three months.”

“And why didn’t it work out with three-months-guy?”

“He started comparing me to his mum a bit too often.”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah, I ran out of there without looking back.”

“Well, it’s nice to see you’ve got high standards. I would hate to see you date just any loser.”

You want to say, High standards or issues?, but you don’t want to make it weird, so you play it cool instead. “I would never. I have a mental checklist with everything a guy needs to have for me to date him.”

“A checklist? I have to hear about this.”

You sigh, debating whether you should tell him about it. Would he notice it’s based on him? Would he notice the only person that could tick practically every box was none other than him? Jake gently elbows your side, goading you on. When you look at him, he’s got a shit-eating grin playing on his lips, and you give in. You look off into the distance as you start listing your requirements. “Well, there’s all your basics like funny, taller than me but not too much, ‘cause I don’t want neck cramps, smart, takes uni seriously, has plans for his future, easy to talk to, not emotionally stunted and can actually have a vulnerable conversation. It’s also a bonus if he has a nice face.”

“How much of a bonus?”

You think for a second. “It’s more a dealbreaker than a bonus, actually. Nice smile is a must, definitely.”

“Okay. Got any more specifics?”

“I do have some particular ones. It’s nice if he’s a reader, but it’s terrible if it makes him think he’s better than everyone or if he tries to sound smarter than me. I like it if he has experience, I don’t want to have to teach him everything. But obviously I don’t want him to still be in love with his ex. Guys and their first loves, I swear… I also don’t really like picky eaters.” You look over at Jake and take a double-take. He’s typing away on his phone, but because of his privacy screen protector, you can’t see anything. You huff. “I also don’t like it if he has those protective screens on his phone. What’s on there that’s so important that I can’t take a peek? What are you even doing?”

The sweet sound of Jake’s giggles erases any trace of annoyance that you felt seconds ago. He turns his screen towards you, showing the list of mostly ticked boxes that he’s written up. “See? I check most of these,” he says with a proud smile. “Guess your standards aren’t that high.” You don’t tell him that your standards are high, he’s just that amazing. 

You do your best to look only amused at this even though inside, you’re all but freaking out. “Which are you missing?”

“Well, I clearly own a privacy screen. And I don’t have much experience. Not nearly as much as you, by the sounds of it,” he admits, somewhat sheepish. “But other than that, I’m practically the perfect man for you.” He looks down at you with a smile so bright, it makes you wish you had brought sunglasses. It takes everything in you not to scream right then and there. Yes, Jake, you are the perfect man for me, but I wish you wouldn’t say it like it was a joke.

You let out a stiff chuckle, and, rather than saying something stupid and possibly damaging, shift the conversation to him. “What do you mean by not much experience? Have you not dated anyone?”

Jake sighs. “Nope, not anyone. I went on a few dates, you know, went through a few talking stages and all that, but it never went much further. There was always something…” He glances at you then. “Missing.”

“I know that feeling,” you say with a chuckle, and he laughs too, a breathy sound.

“I don’t have a checklist to pinpoint what it is, though.”

You smile. “You should try, it might help.”

“I just… I guess I’m like you in that I also have high standards. But it made me not even want to give anyone a chance, especially since I knew it wouldn’t end up anywhere.”

“Don’t tell me no one has ever managed to reach the great Jake Sim’s standards?” you ask, trying to keep your tone light.

Jake smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Of course someone has. She’s the whole reason I have standards in the first place. It’s not my standards I compare people to, it’s her.”

Jealousy has never made you feel as sad as it is right now. “And… it didn’t work out between you?”

Jake looks at you, eyes searching for something in yours but seemingly not finding it, and so he turns his gaze away. You don’t know why you feel so disappointed. “Nope,” he says, popping the ‘p’. “She didn’t feel the same way.”

Whoever this girl is, you can’t believe how stupid she is for passing up the opportunity to have Jake Sim. “That’s… It sucks, I’m sorry,” you say. You don’t think spitting on this girl would make him feel any better, so you keep those thoughts to yourself.

“It’s okay,” he says with a small smile. “It was a while ago already.”

“Doesn’t sound like you’re quite over it, though,” you say, and you’re surprised but glad to see his smile widen.

“That’s true.” His eyes meet yours again. “I don’t think I’ll be over her anytime soon, either.” You have to look away to shield the pain that flashes through your eyes from him.

Pretending you don’t have feelings for your best friend and that you’re okay with him being in love with someone else is like riding a bike: even after years of not doing it, it only takes a few minutes for you to be able to do it perfectly again. Muscle memory, if you will. So you sigh dramatically and throw your arm around Jake’s shoulder, slightly pulling him down to your level. “Don’t worry. We’re going to have so much fun this year, you’ll completely forget about her. Promise. She doesn’t know what she’s missing. Yeah?” 

He smiles down at you. You want nothing more but that glint of melancholy in his eyes to be gone. “Yeah.”

--

Jake is only half-glad to see you haven’t changed much from your childhood and early teenage years. You’re still just as pretty, just as warm; it’s still as comfortable to be around you. You’re also still as dense.

Then and now, he did everything he could to make his feelings for you very, very obvious. Either you’re completely oblivious, or the idea of dating him is so horrifying to you, you understand but pretend you don’t. He really hopes it’s the former. 

He arrived in Edinburgh just a bit over a week ago, and you’ve seen each other almost every day. Out of those times, there isn’t a single one where he hasn’t tried to send something your way - something that says, hey, what if we stopped being friends and dated instead? Wouldn’t that be cool? Can’t you see how desperately I love you?, but you never latch on. The ball’s in your court, and he wants you to throw it back, but it’s been feeling more like a boomerang that always hits him right in the face when it circles back than a game of catch.

But he’s reminding himself not to be too greedy. Even if it’s just as friends, at least he has you back, so he’s satisfied with that. For now.

His first class of the year is on the following Tuesday morning, a ninety-minute seminar specifically made for exchange students called Discover Scotland. (He has Mondays free, resulting in a three-day weekend, which you and your 9am Monday tutorial are very envious of.) As interesting as the English Lit courses he’s taking seem, it’s this one he’s most looking forward to - except for the one class he shares with you, of course. Not even because of the seminars themselves, which will be about all sorts of topics on Scottish culture and history, but because of the coursework, as crazy as that sounds. It consists of a singular project, not due until the very last day of the semester, in which he has to travel to at least three different places in the country, research its background and provide a detailed account of his experience there. It can take any form: a written report, an in-class presentation, a podcast, anything. He could even film a TikTok if he wanted. Jake knew that being part of the Arts & Crafts club for two years in a row back in Seoul wasn’t for nothing - his scrapbooking skills would finally have their time to shine. 

That afternoon, he practically snatches you as you come out of your lecture, giving you little time to say bye to your friends, and makes you take him to the biggest stationary store you know in the city. If he wants to ace this project, he will need supplies. Many, many supplies. And it’s more fun shopping if you’re with him. You seem happy following him around the store, and when he asks you if you want to come on his trips with him, he can pretend it’s because you seem so excited about his project and not because he had thought of you accompanying him as soon as he heard about it.

As you stand in line at the till, you tell him that if he wants to start his project now, you could go to the beach together. You raise your eyebrows at him when he snaps your head towards you. “There’s a beach here?!”

“Did you not look at a map before coming here?” you ask, amused.

“I guess I didn’t…” he says, distraught at the new information. It only lasts a second, though. “Okay, let’s go now.”

“Now?” you echo, and he nods. “But-” you start, but are interrupted by your thoughts. “I guess there’s no reason not to. The weather’s nice and it’s not like I have any uni work yet. Let’s go,” you agree, looking up at him with a smile. You’re so pretty he almost forgets to look away, until the employee calls Next in a bored drawl. 

An hour later, you’re at the beach, barefoot on the sand and ice cream in hand. Strawberry for you and vanilla for him, he notes with a smile. Really not much has changed, he thinks. From the sand, to the water, to the promenade along the beach, Portobello is worlds away from the beaches back home in Australia, or those of Jeju Island. But it’s still nice, and because you’re with him, it’s even better. You’ve been walking around for an hour, splashing each other with water and mercilessly ruining sandcastles left behind before he realises you technically came here for his project. He writes down things he doesn’t want to forget on his phone and snaps a few pictures, sneaking a few of you when you’re not looking. He wants to tell you how beautiful you are with your hair blowing in the wind and the way the chill bites at your cheeks, but he keeps it a secret between him and his Notes app. 

Even though he lives two stops further down, he gets off from the bus with you, containing his excitement as best he can when you invite him up for a cup of tea. “Depends. What tea do you have?” he asks, trying and failing to play it cool. He’s just grateful he doesn’t have to come up with an excuse to spend more time with you.

You roll your eyes playfully as you unlock the front door to your building. “I can make you hot chocolate, Mister Tea-Is-For-Old-People.”

He chuckles. “Actually, I’ll have you know I started drinking tea at uni.” When you turn around to look at him, a surprised look on your face, he nods proudly. “Mh-hm. I got addicted to caffeine very quickly into first year so I started drinking black tea for the sake of my heart,” he explains.

“God,” you say breathily, sounding mildly horrified. “A caffeine addiction sounds intense.”

“It was, yeah,” he says, laughing as he follows you into your flat. 

Yunjin and Chaewon are sitting at the living room table, watching an episode of what he thinks is Gossip Girl, and they greet him as normally as these two can, but he wonders what the knowing look they exchange is all about. He’d met them the previous weekend when you had all gone for drinks together, along with Jay, Yunjin’s boyfriend, and they had all but grilled him on his relationship with you. He hadn’t thought much of it, chalking it up to your friends feeling protective of you, and truthfully, he was just happy to get to talk about you. But now, he was wondering if you had told them anything about him that made them so curious about him. If you did, he hoped it was something positive.

He stands awkwardly in the kitchen, chatting with you as you boil the water and get cups out, but he can feel their gazes burning the back of his head. Clearly, whatever conversation he’s having with you, he’s also having it with them. “How do you take your tea?” you ask.

“Um, three sugars and lots of milk, please,” he says, smiling innocently when you slowly turn to look at him, a mix of disapproval, disgust, and offence on your face. 

You sigh deeply. “I mean, I’ll do it, but I’m not sure that’s even tea anymore.”

“You’re one to talk, Miss Caramel Frappuccino,” he says, recycling your bad joke from earlier.

“At least I don’t claim to be drinking coffee when I order a frap,” you argue. “And this is how you battled your coffee addiction? You’ll be getting another kind of heart problem, Jakey.” He doesn’t know if you even notice your use of his old nickname - the first time you’ve used it since he’s been here - but you don’t make a big deal of it, so he doesn’t either. Not outwardly, at least. Mentally, he’s running laps around your small kitchen.

Jake laughs it off. “I thought I came here for tea, not a health check-up,” he says, smile growing wider at the sight of yours. 

“Right, sorry,” you say, giggling. “I’ll make your tea just how you like it,” you add in a sweet voice. Jake knows you’re just doing it as a joke, but it still manages to make butterflies erupt in his stomach. 

His tea tastes even sweeter that day.

--

A few days after your impromptu trip to the beach, you’re waiting for Jake outside of his class. He heard of this donut shop he “absolutely needs to visit” and is dragging you along with him - well, “dragging” is a big word considering you’d follow him anywhere. You got here a few minutes early, not needing much of a reason to leave the library, so you scroll through your feed until Jake calls out your name. You’re only mildly surprised to see Jay leaving the classroom behind him.

“Y/N! Can you believe that Jay and I are in the same class?” he says excitedly as the two boys walk toward you. You feel like a dog owner being greeted by their over-enthusiastic dog after a long day (about three hours) of being apart.

“I can believe it, actually. You two do the same degree.”

You exchange quick greetings with Jay before the three of you start heading out. As you walk, Jake throws his arm around your shoulders so casually, it almost throws you off balance. Physical contact always came easy to him, but there’s something about him doing it next to someone else that catches you off guard. It reminds you of walking somewhere with Jay and Yunjin as they discretely held hands. It makes you feel like it’s not the three of you, but Jay with the two of you. Like you and Jake come as a pair rather than as two individuals. 

All of that from a simple arm around your shoulders.

Jake asking you in a very unsubtle whisper whether Jay can come with brings you out of your head and back into the conversation. “Yeah, of course,” you say, smiling. It’s not a bad idea to have Jay along: hanging out with someone else might snap you out of your delusion.

Most of the walk to the shop is done in laughter as Jake and Jay realise how much random stuff they have in common, from their peanut allergies to the embarrassing Harry Potter phase they had as fifteen-year-olds. Grassmarket is really busy on Friday afternoons, and there’s a bit of a queue of other donut-enjoyers in front of the boutique, but you don’t mind. The sun is shining down gently on the square and it gives you time to choose your donut out of the ten or so flavours available. In the end, you go for white chocolate and raspberry, while Jake chooses Biscoff and Jay, tiramisu. 

“My friend Sunghoon would love this,” he says after taking a hearty bite. “He goes crazy over tiramisu. Like a cat with catnip.”

Jake chuckles, mouth full of Biscoff. “That’s funny, I also have a friend named Sunghoon who loves tiramisu back in Seoul.”

Jay punches Jake’s shoulder, eyes wide in amusement and shock. “Bro, that’s crazy. You have to be lying at this point,” he says, but Jake shakes his head fervently. 

“I promise I’m not. I’ve even saved his number with the tiramisu emoji.”

“There’s a tiramisu emoji?” Jay asks, already over questioning the existence of Jake’s Sunghoon.

The conversation circles back to the courses you’re all taking this semester, and Jake tells Jay about Discover Scotland and the trips he’s planned so far. “Well, if you really want to discover Scotland as a student, you need to go on a night out in Glasgow,” Jay says. Going by the look on Jake’s face, Jay’s idea seems to have struck a chord in him.

“Y/N?”

You nod, finishing your mouthful of donut before speaking. “Yeah, Glasgow’s really fun. We should go,” you say, laughing when the two boys high-five in victory. Between the train, the drinks and the club entry, going out isn’t a cheap ordeal, and getting to and fro also takes a while - even so, the smile on Jake’s face makes it worth it. 

He wipes some raspberry jam from the corner of your mouth, shooting you a wink, and you want to disintegrate right then and there, become one with the bench you’re sitting on and never have to face him again. The conversation resumes as Jay tells Jake about all the best places to go out in Glasgow, but you don’t hear a word - the feeling of Jake’s thumb so close to your lips takes away your ability for coherent thought.

“It’s decided, then. We’re going out tomorrow night,” Jay loudly announces. “Let me gather the troops.”

That’s how you find yourself in line for the club the next day, already tipsy from pre-drinking on the train and at the pub. It’s still warm enough for you and the girls to wear as little clothing as you want, but Jake insisted on giving you his flannel jacket anyway. If not for the warmth it brings, you’re glad to have his scent enveloping you.

The five of you work exceptionally well together. You, Chaewon and Yunjin have been a given since you met in first year, and Jay and Yunjin went so well together that he was but a natural addition to your little group. Jake’s only been here for over a week, but it’s like he’s always been around, and you couldn’t be happier about it. Him and Jay hit it off immediately, and although the girls needed some time to warm up to him (it’s not everyday that you meet your friend’s ex-best-friend she’s practically always been in love with; you understand why they might’ve been wary at first), they now tease him just as relentlessly as they do Jay. He takes it like a champ.

For a little while, you watch your friends speaking over each other, bickering over nothing, a smile on your face. Two pints of cider and some of Jay’s fancy vodka have made you more grateful than ever for them - if you drink too much in the club, you’ll be hugging them and crying about how much you love them. You’re not sure what that might look like around Jake, so you decide to keep yourself in check for the night. 

It takes about thirty minutes before you manage to get into the club. It’s not coat check season yet, so you head straight to the bar. “Sunghoon said he’d meet us here,” Jay says, lifting his head to spot his friend in the sea of drunk students. “Oh yeah, there he is! Hoon, hey!” 

You hear a loud “Jongseong!” being shouted from somewhere in the crowd, but you’re not sure who Jay is waving at until a boy whose face is mostly eyebrows is standing - well, standing as best as he can, with the copious amount of alcohol he’s obviously already consumed - in front of you. He gives Jay a hug and the three of you a nod of his head, a lopsided smile on his face. When he turns to Jake, his eyebrows lift first, then his face breaks into a wide grin.

“Jake, my man!” he shouts, taking a stunned Jake’s hand and bringing him into a hug. 

“Sunghoon? What the hell are you doing here?” he asks, chuckling and frowning in confusion. 

“I’m just partying, man! Same as you!”

“No, I mean here in Scotland, you dumbass!”

“You two know each other?” Jay asks, looking back and forth between his two friends.

“Jake’s my man!” Sunghoon exclaims, unhelpful and stumbling as he throws an arm around his man’s shoulders. Jake shoots you a distressed look but you just laugh at him.

“This is Tiramisu Sunghoon I told you about,” Jake says, helping Sunghoon stand up straight.

“God, what I would do for a tiramisu right now,” Sunghoon says, looking at Yunjin like she might relate. She chuckles awkwardly.

“I have no idea what he’s doing in Scotland, though. Hoon, I thought you were going to NYU for your exchange?”

Sunghoon pauses to think for a second, looking like he’s never heard of NYU in his life. “Oh, that! Yeah, I did an online orientation thing and… it did not go well. Let’s just say there’s someone in New York City who wants me dead,” he says conspiratorially. You all stare at him but he gives no further explanation. On your right, you hear Yunjin whisper what the fuck under her breath. “So I transferred here instead!”

“I didn’t know you were an exchange student,” Jay says, still looking just as confused.

“Yeah, man! But anyways, let’s not talk about uni right now. I’m on a bender, day three, baby! Do not talk to me tomorrow,” he says, chuckling until the smile suddenly drops from his face. “I mean that.” You look around yourself, glad to find everyone is just as baffled as you. “Let’s party!” Sunghoon cheers, intoxicated grin back on his lips. Jake and Jay follow, but you and the girls stay back for a second, taking in everything that has just happened.

“That. Is the most beautiful man I have ever seen,” Chaewon blurts, staring blankly at the spot Sunghoon stood in a second ago.

“Yeah, he also seems to be a raging alcoholic. And he’s what, twenty-one?” Yunjin says, a scowl on her face. 

“I could fix him.”

“Okay, let’s go,” you say, grabbing your friends by their wrists before either of them can say something worse.

Feeling generous, Sunghoon buys shots for all six of you, and you quickly down them before heading to the dancefloor. On your way there, a group of sober-looking girls hand Chaewon a giant, still almost full jug of red liquid, something that costs at least twelve pounds here. They say they’re leaving and don’t need it anymore, smiling as you profusely and astonishedly thank them. You look at your friends, mentally weighing the risk and drugging possibility this might present, but shrug and pass the jug around after taking hearty sips anyway. It tastes so much like fizzy cherries that you wonder if it even contains any alcohol, but sure enough, twenty minutes later, the three of you are spinning around on the dancefloor, screaming the lyrics to your favourite pop songs at the top of your lungs. Jake at a club is a completely foreign sight to you, and you can’t stop laughing at all the silly moves he pulls. 

You’re shaking your whole body to a Nicki song from the early 2010s when you suddenly feel a hand on your hip. Before you can turn around and slap whoever this random man is that thinks he can touch you, a familiar voice whispers it’s just me in your ear, and you simultaneously relax and tense up knowing that Jake is standing right behind you. “There’s a creep staring at you,” he explains, lips and breath gently tickling your ear as he speaks. You look around the room and quickly notice a man standing in a corner, drink in one hand and the other in his pocket, unmoving as he eyes you with a smirk so slimy it makes your stomach turn. To avoid his gaze, you turn around, but you’re not sure the sight you’re met with is much better for you.

Jake peers down at you, eyes slightly glossed over and cheeks flushed from the alcohol, jaw locked in annoyance. He glances at the guy in the corner, who you assume is still staring when you feel Jake’s hands brush along your sides until they reach your waist. His gaze returns to your face as he brings you a step closer to him. Reflexively, you wrap your arms around his neck. 

“Is this okay?” he mouths. All you can do is meekly nod. You watch as his eyes deliberately scan your face, going down and down. Time stills when they reach your lips and stay there. It’s like someone has put the booming music of the club on mute, and the only thing you can hear is your heart loudly beating in your ears. You suddenly feel very sober.

You swear Jake’s face is slowly inching its way towards yours when you’re abruptly taken away. Yunjin has grabbed you by the forearm, leading you and Chaewon to the bathroom as she chants “Bathroom break! Bathroom break!”, clearly unaware of the moment she’s just interrupted.

Because of the queue for the girls’ bathroom and Chaewon’s decision to console this random girl who was in the middle of a breakdown, it’s not until half-an-hour later that you emerge back into the crowd. You spot the boys at a table, two empty shots each in front of them and all three with a beer in hand. They will not be happy checking their bank accounts tomorrow morning. 

“Y/N! You’re back!” Jake calls out happily when he spots you, and you can tell right away that he’s much drunker than when you left him. His whole face is flush, his eyes don’t open quite all the way, and a lopsided smile won’t leave his lips - even like this, he’s so pretty that you want to grab his hand and take him somewhere it’s just the two of you. 

Chaewon gets drinks for the three of you and then you’re dancing again. It’s already one am at this point, and the remaining two hours until the club closes, fueled with alcohol and good music, go by in a flash. Before you know it, the DJ is playing All of Me by John Legend and the lights have been turned on, clear signs that you’re overstaying your welcome. The few people that have made it to closing time stumble out of the club and into the street, heading for either the nearest subway stop or the next party of the night. Since there are no trains at this time, your group walks to the close-by bus station, listening to Jake and Sunghoon grumble about how the clubs in Seoul don’t close until at least five or six and how trains run all night there. 

The bus is already at the station when you get there, and the driver doesn’t seem too pleased about having six mildly drunk kids get on his bus, but he’s probably used to questionable people taking public transport at this time of the day anyway. Physically, Sunghoon is sitting across from you, but mentally, he’s off somewhere far, far from this bus. With his head against the window and mouth wide open, saliva pooling at the corner of his lips, he looks like he’s any second away from obnoxiously snoring. Jay and Yunjin are sitting somewhere you can’t see them, probably eating each other’s faces; she once told you they had their “most mind-blowing sex” when both a little drunk, and much to your dismay, you haven’t been able to get that piece of information out of your head since. Chaewon is on the phone to her long-distance bestie Sakura, for whom it’s a nice eleven in the morning right now. 

This means that you and Jake are left alone, both of you still tipsy and not tired enough to fall asleep. You drop your head on Jake’s shoulder, and not only does he let you, he also takes your hand in his, interlacing your fingers and placing them atop his thigh. Clumsily, because he now has to use his left hand, Jake slips his phone out of his back pocket and shows you the photos he took all evening. As the night progresses, they get blurrier and blurrier, so much so that towards the end, you can’t tell what he was even trying to capture, and you laugh at how inappropriate some of these would be to submit in a university project. 

When he softly says your name, you don’t raise your head, simply humming to let him know you’re listening. You close your eyes, cherishing the way your name sounds on his lips. It’s his tone, tentative and vulnerable as he tells you there’s something he’s been wanting to ask you, that makes you look up at him. He, however, won’t meet your eyes, and settles his gaze on the window, even though it’s so dark outside you can’t make out a thing.

“How come you never replied to my letter? I know it’s been ages, but… I still find myself wondering about it.” The question is softly asked and you know he by no means wants to hurt you, but it still feels like a punch to the throat. You hadn’t remembered who it was that had sent the last letter, while he’d been wondering all these years why his words had been left unanswered. 

He seems set on not looking at you, so you rest your head back on his shoulder. Your hand is still in his. “I’m not sure, Jakey. I’m sorry,” you say, aware it’s not a satisfying answer. You’ve thought about why you and Jake had stopped talking for hours on end; you’ve discussed it with your friends and your mum, looked at it from all sorts of angles, tried to come up with real reasons other than time pulling you apart. But now that Jake himself is asking you about it, the words don’t come easy. You’ve theorised that you were afraid putting effort into sustaining your friendship would only hurt you in the end, because it was just that - a friendship. You could fool yourself into thinking you were okay only being friends with him when he was with you, that putting your feelings aside was worth it since you could at least spend time with him. But now that he was away, you didn’t have that anymore - it just hurt. So what was the point? And how could you phrase all this without betraying your feelings for him?

“Our letters were so sparse anyway back then, even our texts and calls were getting less and less frequent… And whenever I had a new boyfriend, I’d get into the same argument about being too close to you over and over again, even though you were literally on another continent.” 

“You know, I always felt sorry about that.”

“About what?”

“Those boyfriends of yours. I felt like you waited for me to leave before you started dating-”

“It wasn’t like that!” you exclaim, lifting your head again. Finally, he meets your eyes, gaze softening upon seeing your affronted expression. “It wasn’t like that,” you repeat, relaxing your tone. “If anything, they were the ones that waited for you to be gone. I'm sorry I let their jealousy get to me.”

Jake smiles, the tenderness in his gaze making your whole body turn to jelly. He squeezes your hands. “It’s okay. I just… I felt like I was always in the way of your relationships, even after I left.”

“You don’t have to feel sorry about that. They should’ve had more trust in me.”

He pauses, gaze dropping down to your intertwined hands. “I would’ve been jealous.” When his eyes find yours again, there’s something in them that you quite can’t place. It creates a ball of nerves that pull at your stomach. “If I were dating you, and you had a guy friend you were as close with as we were back then, I’d be jealous. You know, I’d assume he had feelings for you. And that you might have feelings for him, too.”

Because I did, you think. I did, and I still do. You try to communicate that thought to Jake, but telepathy works especially bad when one has as much alcohol coursing through their veins as you do right now. So instead, you say the opposite of what you’re thinking, turning away from Jake to avoid his gaze. You watch the dribble of saliva trickle from Sunghoon’s lips. “That’s not a great view of male-female friendship.” 

Jake’s retort comes immediately. “But we were different, right?”

His words echo through your head until they make even less sense than they did initially. Different from what? From who? You’re not sure - but you like the idea of you and Jake being different, special. You especially like the idea of Jake thinking so. So you look at him and smile. “Right.” 

Slowly, his grin fades and turns into a worried expression. “Y/N?”

“Mm?”

“We’re still different now, aren’t we?”

You want to wrap him in your arms so tightly neither of you can breathe. You settle for running a hand through his hair and pinching his cheek. “Course we are.” Your whole being relaxes when his face breaks into a smile again. 

--

The next morning, you wake up to Yunjin plopping down on your bed unceremoniously, shaking you awake, and asking you if you want anything from Snax Café. On one hand, you’re grateful that she thought of you and that in thirty minutes’ time, you’ll have the greasiest sausage wrap and hash browns known to man in your hand; on the other, you’d like to think that she knows you well enough to know to order your regular from there without asking. But that’s probably the hangover talking.

You stumble out of bed, thanking last night’s you for having remembered to take headache medicine before crashing. Even if your stomach is very upset with the copious amount of alcohol it needs to rid your body of, and your throat is begging for water, at least your head doesn’t feel like it’s been split into two. As Yunjin barges into Chaewon’s room just as she had done yours, you head for the kitchen to get yourself a tall glass of revitalising tap water. You’re only mildly surprised to find Sunghoon passed out on your living room couch - it takes you a few seconds to remember that the three of you took pity on him when you learned he lived over an hour’s walk from the station, so you let him spend the night on your uncomfortable, cold leather sofa. While you down your glass in three gulps, you hear Yunjin shaking Sunghoon awake and asking him loudly if he wanted something from Snax.

“Fuck, I’d kill for a Snax right now,” he groggily says before he’s even opened his eyes. When he does, they dart around the room until they land on Yunjin, who's crouching in front of him. He looks like he thought her question was asked in a dream and not in real life. He also looks like he's not quite sure where he is, or who Yunjin is. It isn’t until Jay comes wobbling out of Yunjin’s bed to the couch opposite Sunghoon that the memories seem to piece back together in his head. The three of you watch him like he’s an unstable mental patient and you’re his doctors. 

“No need for that, I’m ordering it on Deliveroo.” He nods his head and goes back to sleep for the time being. 

Just as you’re about to text Jake, your phone rings with a call from him. His raspy morning voice as he asks you whether you slept well makes you want to put your head in an oven heated at 200 degrees Celsius. However, you resist the urge, and answer him with a smile, then ask him the same question.

“I slept pretty well too. I’d have slept in longer but one of my flatmates decided to have a Sunday fucking brunch and his friends are so loud. Can I come over?”

You’re very aware of the other people in the room, especially of Chaewon who has just walked in and is eyeing you suspiciously as if to say, Why are you smiling so hard at ten in the morning? You know the girls would jump at any opportunity to tease you about Jake, and with the added presence of Sunghoon in the room, you can’t have that. So you stifle the giggles bubbling in your throat and answer as nonchalantly as you can. It also gives you the chance to reflect on why Jake Sim asking you whether he can come over makes you want to giggle like a giddy schoolgirl so much.

(Maybe it’s because when it comes to him, you’re still the giddy schoolgirl you used to be.)

“Yeah, of course. I was going to ask you if you wanted anything from Snax, actually.”

“Snax? What’s that?”

“Oh my God, Jake, am I about to introduce you to Snax right now?”

Twenty minutes later, the six of you are sitting around your small living room table, all varying amounts of tired, dehydrated and famished as you dig into your breakfast. Given your current levels of energy, it’s fairly quiet; plus, the food hits such a spot that it’s hard to talk and eat at the same time. Jake eats like he’s never had a breakfast wrap and hash brown in his life. It’s an endearing sight if you’ve ever seen one. 

You spend the afternoon together, watching movies curled up in your bed, and you try desperately not to think about the implications of that - except that’s hard to do when Jake is right next to you, legs and arms ever-so-slightly brushing against yours, his warmth so close yet so out of reach. You purposefully let him pick movies you’ve already seen so that you don’t have to focus on anything but your own thoughts and the faint but dizzying scent of his body wash. The both of you had an innumerable amount of sleepovers as kids, so this shouldn’t feel weird, but it decidedly does, probably because you’re much more aware of him now in a way you weren’t before.  

As hard as you try to figure out what exactly he meant by “different,” you draw a blank. The only way you’ll understand is if you ask him, and you’re far too scared to do that. You don’t want to seem so hung upon a singular word he used when he was tipsy. It might be slightly dramatic, but you felt like some sort of balance had been restored since Jake was back in your life - the problem was it made you scared to do anything that might threaten this newfound equilibrium. It at least seems like different means a good thing to him, and that’s enough for you. 

You look over to him when the second movie comes to an end. He’s sleeping peacefully, lashes caressing the skin under his eyes and cheeks looking rounder than usual. It’d be so easy to reach a finger out and trace the line descending from the top of his forehead to his chin, gliding along the bump of his nose and feeling the plumpness of his rosy lips, but you settle for drawing that line with your eyes instead.  

You don’t think you’ll be able to fall asleep with him next to you and your heart beating so loudly in your ears, but you find yourself waking up a few hours later, the sun already starting to set. Jake is already awake, scrolling on his phone, one arm casually behind his head as if being in your bed is as comfortable to him as being in his own. When he sees you’ve woken up, his honey-coated smile washes warmly over you, and he makes a joke about how he keeps on falling asleep when he’s with you. “I feel that at ease, I guess,” he says, and you hope you’re not making up the small blush that spreads over his cheeks. 

--

Semesters are always a short and intense affair, but this one passes by even quicker with Jake by your side. Before you know it, it’s midterms already, and you and Jake have travelled enough for him to complete his project and make another one just for the hell of it. He had scoured the internet for the cheapest train tickets and most noteworthy sites, planning trips that lasted anywhere between three hours and a day for the two of you. All you needed to do was follow and trust him, which was the easiest thing anyone could’ve asked of you. 

You’ve gone back to Glasgow, during the day, this time, as well as St. Andrews and Aberdeen. You’ve practically visited every loch and castle in a one-hour train ride radius of Edinburgh, and Jake has more lined up for the second part of the semester. He’s even said that your trips should continue being a thing next term, and you couldn’t have agreed faster. With every new destination, every train ride spent looking out a window or laughing about everything and anything, any odd Scottish food you try for the first time, you somehow fall for him a bit deeper. You didn’t know your love for him could bloom any more than it already had - but Jake is the gift that keeps on giving, and, unwillingly or not, he always finds new ways to make your heart speed that much faster.

Attentionate, affectionate, sweet Jake who always makes sure you’re comfortable wherever you go, always gives you his jacket or tucks your hair behind your ear to prevent it from falling in your face. Who, as time passed, grew more touchy, would hold your hand, ruffle your hair, pinch your cheek, which was simultaneously devastating and elating. Who, you could tell, started to linger more, both in his touch and in his gaze. Questions of does he love me back or am I seeing what I want to see? nearly drove you mad. 

--

“I feel like at this point the only way she’ll understand that I like her is if I kill myself and write in my suicide note that it’s her fault for not loving me back.”

Jake has been pacing back and forth in Jay’s living room for approximately twenty minutes, with no end in sight. At least he’ll have gotten most of his ten thousand steps of the day in.

Jay sighs heavily. “Okay, I really don’t think you need to go that far.”

“Sounds romantic to me,” Sunghoon says, mouth full of salted caramel popcorn.

“I hope you never get a girlfriend,” Jay retorts, looking at his deranged friend with a scowl. He turns back to his (slightly more) normal friend and gives him a sympathetic smile. 

“I mean, I told her we were different. Different. That we weren’t like regular friends. I tell her she’s pretty every chance I get. I give her my jacket all the time, even though this country is fucking cold. I’ve even given her a t-shirt of mine, sprayed with my perfume and everything. And don’t get me wrong, I do it ‘cause I love doing that for her-”

“Simp,” Sunghoon snickers.

“But what the hell else can I do? Like, she has to be ignoring it on purpose at this point.” 

“You could always, you know… tell her?”

Jake scoffs, fixing his friend with a derisive look. “Wow. What a great idea, Jay, I never thought of that one before!”

A popcorn lands right on Jay’s cheek. “You’re so clueless, man,” Sunghoon says, a shit-eating smirk on his lips. As if he knows any better.

Jay looks back-and-forth between his friends, an expression on his face like he’s been disparaged. “Sorry, I didn’t know being straightforward and honest was such a bad thing. It would just make things a lot clearer for the both of you.”

“But… I’m scared,” Jake says. 

“Man up!” Sunghoon suddenly yells, punching the sofa next to him, making his friends jump. “How can she ever figure it out if you don’t tell her?”

“You were on my side just a second ago, man, what are you doing?” Jake asks, confusion written all over his face. Sunghoon’s eyes dart back and forth between the two boys, retreating into silence as he stuffs his mouth with another handful of popcorn.

“Just ignore him,” Jay says. “But for once, he did say something that makes a modicum of sense. You think you’re being really obvious, but you might not actually be. Which could be a good sign, you know. I heard girls were super aware of a guy liking them if they weren’t into him, but being totally oblivious if they did like him.”

“Where did you hear that?” Jake asks, an eyebrow raised in suspicion.

“...Instagram Reels,” Jay reluctantly admits, frowning at Sunghoon who bursts into laughter. 

Jake holds the bridge of his nose between two fingers like his head aches. “You’re both so useless, I’m never coming to you with my problems ever again.”

“I’ll pretend I’m not offended by that.”

“I’d rather you didn’t, anyway,” Sunghoon says. He’s smiling but Jake genuinely can’t tell if he’s joking or not.

“But seriously, if you think you’ve done everything, then just do one last thing that’s so obvious she can’t misinterpret it,” Jay says.

“Like what?”

“Like kissing her, or some-”

“Kissing her?!” Jake echoes.

“That’s wild, man,” Sunghoon uselessly butts in.

“It’s just an example, calm yourselves,” Jay says. “Or, again, just straight up tell her how you feel. It’s what I did with Yunjin, and it worked.”

“You and Yunjin are dating?” Sunghoon asks, bewildered.

Jay shakes his head at him. “Where the hell have you been, bro? We were literally cuddling on the couch the other day.”

“I just thought you were really good friends, or something.”

Jake groans, holding his head in his hands. Sunghoon was of no help whatsoever, and Jay was so on point that it annoyed him. Confessing was the only solution - but Jake was so afraid of being rejected and losing your friendship that he had barely entertained the thought. But he had found the courage to do it once, and even though his planned confession had fallen through back then, he could get himself together and do it again. 

It was the day he had told you he was moving to Korea, which he himself had learned that morning. Originally, he’d texted you because he had news to share - good news. Or at least, he hoped they were good. He hoped the soft, lingering looks you gave him weren’t a figment of his imagination but rather the confirmation he needed that you liked him back. He hoped that like him, you cared too much about your friendship to make the first move into something else; that by confessing first, you’d be relieved of that responsibility; that his wish to hold your hand and kiss your forehead wasn’t one-sided. 

He decided not to prepare anything - just a couple sentences that he’d rehearsed over and over in his head. Declarations of love, bouquets of flowers, chocolate and couple keychains, all that could wait until after you’d said yes to being his girlfriend. He didn’t want to win you over just once, he wanted to show you every day how much he loved you. Fourteen-year-old Jake was absolutely head over heels for you; so imagine his disappointment when, as he was getting ready to meet with you, his parents called him downstairs, a tone to their voice Jake wasn’t familiar with, but that couldn’t mean anything good. 

“Your dad’s job is sending us back to Seoul next month,” his mom announced, not beating around the bush. He felt everything quite literally crumbling down around him. His friends in Brisbane, his school, his hobbies, but above all, you. He’d lose it all. And what was the point now in telling you how he felt? If you felt the same way, it would only make his departure that much harder, and if you didn’t, it would ruin your last moments together. It just wasn’t worth it.

What he had planned to be good news turned into the most awful ones. The thought of it happening all over again makes twenty-year-old Jake shudder. But he wouldn’t let himself be trapped by time again - sure, in seven months, the academic year would be over, and he would go back to Korea. But that didn’t mean that those seven months should be spent in agony, or the following ones either, for that matter. You would make it work. What was long-distance to someone who loved someone else as much as Jake loved you?

But he doesn’t want to get ahead of himself. He has to start by really resolving to do this, and in the off-chance that it actually goes in his favour, he’d start worrying about long distance then.

First, he has a trip to plan.

--

You should’ve known that a trip to the Scottish Highlands in the middle of November was a risky choice in terms of weather. The day started off nicely enough - no sign of rain when you woke up or as you watched the sunrise through the train window. Clouds turned the sky a bright white at first, then increasingly greyer and greyer. You feel the first drops of rain after lunch as you walk around a small village. By four pm, it’s pitch black and storming like you’ve rarely seen before. You head into a pub to grab a drink as you wait for the rain to subside, but subside it does not. You end up ordering fish and chips, one each, although one serving is enough to feed three. Even after taking your time eating, the bad weather does not let up. The last train, which is meant to be at eight pm, has been cancelled. Luckily, there’s an inn right across the road from the pub; you have no choice but to spend the night. 

The inn receptionist is sitting so low on her chair, you can barely see her over the desk until you’re standing right over it. Her face is hidden by a book and it’s only when you say hiya that she seems to realise you’re there. You had never heard of the book or of its author, but you recognized the cover design as that of those romance novels with repetitive plots and weirdly misogynistic love interests your mum and every other middle-aged woman was obsessed with.

Her smile widens as she looks between you and Jake. “Hi there. One room for the lovely couple?”

“Oh, we’re not-”

“Yes, please,” Jake interrupts, smiling down at her, then at you. “It’ll be cheaper if we share a room.”

“Our only room with two single beds is already taken, I’m afraid. One double bed okay for you two?”

You feel like you’re about to faint, so you’re glad Jake is there to answer. “Yeah, of course.” How the idea of sharing one bed with you is so okay to him, you’re not sure - granted, you’ve done it before, but this feels different. For all intents and purposes, this is a hotel room you’re staying in. And you’re staying in it with Jake. 

You try to calm your breathing as the receptionist guides you to your room, chatting casually with Jake on the way there. As she unlocks the door for you, she informs you that check-out must be done before eleven in the morning tomorrow, then bids you good night and leaves you to it, still wearing that smile you swear has mischievousness to it. The door clicks shut behind you, and it’s just Jake and you again, together in this small room until tomorrow morning. Your chances of survival are very, very low. 

Your room is a humble one, consisting of a desk, a cupboard, two armchairs, a small, separate bathroom and the infamous bed. Every surface seems to be covered with wood, from the ceiling, to the walls, to the old-fashioned furniture. Only the floor is a soft, beige carpet. Especially with the darkness outside, it makes for a gloomy room until you turn on the lamp by the entrance; it casts a warm, golden light in the room, one that would make you feel at ease if it wasn’t for Jake’s presence next to you. The implications of being essentially trapped in a barely-lit room with him are heavy on your mind, especially when he looks this gorgeous with his hair still damp from the rain and the soft lights playing on his face. 

His voice brings you out of your thoughts. “Right. Do you, um, do you wanna shower first?” he asks, setting his bag on one of the armchairs.

“Oh. Yeah, sure.” There has never been such an awkward tension between the two of you, but you know you’re not doing anything to ease it. You hope a shower will help you get out of your head and make you relax.

You feel the tension leave your muscles under the hot water, but your stomach is still in knots. You’ve never been this nervous around Jake before; back when you were fourteen and again in these past few months, you’d gotten so used to dealing with your unspoken feelings for him that you could almost forget about them when you were with him. They’d come back to you when you were alone and dwelling on the moments you’d spent together, on his words and actions you desperately tried not to read too much into but always ended up doing anyway. But right now, they’ve floated to the surface, becoming as obvious to you as a stain on your skin you can’t rub away. You’re scared Jake will notice it, and, in the worst case scenario you often thought about, would run away and never speak to you again. 

At least the raging storm outside would make that a bit harder.

When you step out of the shower, you curse yourself for not having worn more comfortable clothes on this trip. You definitely can’t wear these jeans and button-up sweater to lounge around. Thankfully, the inn provides two long bathrobes that you could wear over underwear and your tank top, but you wonder where on the scale of inappropriate this would be to wear with Jake in the room. He’s seen you in short pyjama shorts before, but this, like everything else that would usually be normal between the two of you, feels weird today. 

You wrap the bathrobe around yourself, tying it in place around your waist, and decide that it’d only be weird if you made it weird. And if Jake found the sight of your bare legs weird, then he was the weird one.

The scene you’re met with as you walk into the room makes you want to retreat into the bathroom immediately. Jake is lying on the bed with his upper half against the headboard, one leg extended and the other one bent, resting his head against one palm, using his free hand to scroll through his phone. His t-shirt has ridden up slightly, putting the waistband of his Calvin Kleins into view. Worst of all, when he sees you, his face breaks into a grin. 

Your stomach twists when he gives you a once-over, letting his gaze linger on your legs. “Did you bring a bathrobe with you or was it included?” he asks with an annoyingly handsome smirk.

You roll your eyes. “Yes, I bring a bathrobe with me wherever I go,” you say sarcastically. “Now shut up and go shower, you stink.” Reverting to insults is always the solution when you’re internally freaking out.

“Yes, ma’am.” 

He takes so long in the shower that by the time he comes out, you’ve dozed off in bed. As if you were a child, he wakes you up with a boop to the nose, crouching next to the bed and smiling at you. His wet hair falls on his head like that of a movie star in a shower scene, which you find extremely unfair, and his cheeks are red from the warmth of the water. 

“It’s still early. Do you wanna go grab another drink?”

“In our bathrobes?” you say, laughing. “Nah, I don’t really feel like drinking anyway.” Read: I’m not sure what I’ll do with alcohol in me.

“Okay, no worries. Um, I think I saw they had board games in the lobby?”

Your ears perk up at this. “Ooh, what kind of board games?”

Putting jeans on underneath his bathrobe, Jake slips away for a minute and comes back with Monopoly, Uno, and a deck of cards. “They didn’t have much for two players,” he says, dumping everything on the bed. 

You already knew that anything would become fun if you did it with Jake, but you definitely didn’t expect to spend almost five hours just playing Monopoly and card games with him. Neither of you stays put for very long, always switching from sitting criss-cross to laying on your stomach, making fun of the other’s bathrobe even though you’re wearing the exact same thing. You make each other laugh as you make up your own nonsense rules and disregard the laws of your games, attacking the other ruthlessly for a couple extra points or coins. Jake even makes you go get snacks from a corner store that’s miraculously still open because you lose the first round of Uno. 

After some time, Jake lets out a loud yawn, which in turn makes you yawn too. He checks his phone to find that it’s close to midnight already. “Time for bed?” he asks, and your nervousness that had finally dissipated as you played came rushing back. 

You nod. “Yeah, sounds good.”

The two of you clean up before brushing your teeth. Even that, with Jake by your side, becomes a silly affair as he pulls faces in the mirror and nudges your hip with his. You stay behind to use the toilet, and when you come back out, Jake’s already in bed, bathrobe tossed on one of the armchairs. This means that Jake is just casually in a t-shirt and boxers, waiting for you to join him in bed. Luckily, his back is turned to you, so you quickly take off your own bathrobe and slide under the sheets, careful to keep your distance from him. The sheets are cold underneath you, and you know it’ll take a while before your body heat warms them up - although you feel very hot and bothered because of the man lying next to you. 

“Gosh, I’m really sleepy all of a sudden,” he says, words distorted by a yawn. You only hum in response, and he reaches for the lamp to turn it off. Just like that, you’re in complete darkness, and Jake’s body is mere inches from your own. 

It’s eerily quiet for a while, and when you’ve managed to slow your heartbeat and regularise your breathing, you start trying to fall asleep. You toss and turn, unable to find a comfortable position until Jake’s low, sleepy voice breaks the silence. “Can’t sleep?” he asks, and you freeze.

You sigh. “No. I’m sorry for keeping you up,” you say guiltily.

“It’s okay. I can’t really sleep either. It’s a bit cold in here.”

You pause. “Right. Yeah, it is,” you say, even though you feel like you’re sweating buckets. 

The room plunges into silence again, long enough for you to think Jake has fallen asleep. You feel something cold against your foot, only realising as it slides up your calf that it’s his foot. “Jake!” you whisper-yell, withdrawing your leg as he bursts into giggles that warm your heart. “Your feet are so cold,” you say in-between chuckles.

“I’m cold all over,” he whines. “Have they not turned the heating on yet? It’s already mid-November.”

“People are used to the cold here.”

“Well I’m not. Can we cuddle?” he suddenly asks, and he must somehow feel the way you freeze in place because he stammers out a justification straight away. “For, I mean, just for warmth, you know. I don’t think I’ll sleep otherwise.”

His foot finds yours again and you can’t help but laugh. “Sure, fine,” you say with a sigh as if you were doing only half-heartedly for his sake. As if this was some big sacrifice you were making, and not something you’d daydreamed about one too many times before. 

Your heart is beating a thousand miles a second when you scooch closer to Jake, his hands finding your waist as easily as if they’d been there a hundred times before. He pulls you in much closer than you had expected, holding you tightly against his chest, one arm for you to use as a pillow and one hand resting on your lower back. You try to calm your respiration so that he can’t hear how short of breath you are, but based on his own breathing, he seems to be out in five minutes. It takes you longer to fall asleep, every shift of his body sending shivers down your spine, but you manage to relax after some time, letting his warmth envelop you as you drift off to sleep.

--

The feeling of waking up with you in his arms is so unreal, Jake thinks he might still be dreaming.

He looks down at your peaceful sleeping face and can’t stop the smile that spreads on his lips. Jake always thinks you’re pretty, but this is a sight he particularly wants to commit to memory. He watches fondly as the bright sun rays of the early morning hit your face, making you scrunch your eyebrows and bury your face deeper against him. You grunt softly, and when he feels you shifting and stretching your legs, he pretends to fall asleep so you don’t catch him staring. It seems like you’ve raised your head, chin tilted towards him - if he’s lucky, you’re watching him “sleep” just like he did seconds ago.

He contains a smile at the joke that forms itself in his brain before shooting his eyes open, catching you off guard during what you thought was a private, secret moment. 

“Shit!” you yelp, practically jumping off of him and rolling onto the other side of the bed. He bursts into laughter, proud that his little prank was effective. Before you can scold him, he makes his way to you, wrapping an arm around your waist and bringing your back against his chest. He thinks he feels your body tense; but then you bring your hand over his, swiping your thumb back and forth against his skin, and you relax in his hold. “You’re so annoying,” you complain, but your voice is tender, almost weak.

He buries his face in your hair, trying not to be too loud when he inhales there. “Sorry,” he says, the smile evident in his voice. “The opportunity was right there. Caught you staring, huh?”

“You’re such an idiot.”

“I’ll take that as a yes.” It’s quiet for a few minutes, and Jake is more than happy to enjoy this moment in silence, but there’s something burning the tip of his tongue. It’s been there for a while now, but he thinks he’s finally found the right moment. “Y/N?”

“Mm?”

“There’s something I couldn’t tell you last night, but I feel oddly okay saying it right now. Are you listening?” 

“I am, yeah,” you say gently, voice so soft it caresses his skin and draws goosebumps from it.

His chest expands and falls with a deep, shaky breath. With your back right against it, he’s scared you’ll hear that his heart is beating faster than it should. “Bad news first?” he says with a nervous chuckle.

“Uh-oh.”

“There’s no roundabout way to say this, so here goes, I guess.” He takes another breath. “I’m in love with you, Y/N.” You tense in his embrace, and he waits for you to say something, anything before he continues.

“Oh,” is all you say. He hopes it’s a good oh - even if it isn’t, he doesn’t let it deter him.

“Yeah. I really debated telling you this… I know you might not feel the same way. But I also know that if I don’t say anything and make the same mistake twice, I’ll beat myself up over it for the rest of my life.”

“The same mistake?” you ask, looking at him over your shoulder.

He gazes down at you tenderly, pushing hair away from your face with a gentle hand. “I already felt that way back when we lived in Australia. I was about to tell you but when I learned that I was moving, I didn’t wanna risk ruining the little time we had left together.”

The look on your face both breaks his heart and patches it up again. “Jakey…” you say, voice just a whisper. You turn around to face him and bury your face in the crook of his neck. The fact that you’re not saying much is making his stomach twist in agonising stress, but he takes it as a good sign that you’re still holding him tight and not running away.

“I think I’d be the luckiest guy on Earth if you felt the same way,” he says, hopefulness clear in his voice. 

And then he finally hears the words he’s been dying to hear all these years. “Of course, I feel the same way, Jake,” you say, eyes meeting his. “This isn’t bad news at all, it’s like, the best possible news ever.”

It takes him a few seconds, but when your words sink in, a bright smile graces his features. He feels tears coming up - tears of relief that you feel the same way, of sadness that it took the both of you so long to get here, of happiness that something new might start - he’s not sure. Perhaps everything at once.

“Of course?” he echoes, smiling wildly. “It wasn’t obvious to me.”

“Oh, gosh,” you murmur, burying yourself into him once more. “I can’t believe this is actually happening.”

He tightened his hold around you, bringing you to him as close as physically possible. “Me neither.”

The feeling of you tangling your bare legs with his and bunching up the fabric of his t-shirt in your fist awakens something in him - he had been in his head, thanking the heavens that you loved him back, reeling from his belated confession, but he was now very aware of his body. And of yours. He was reminded of Jay telling him to kiss you - although he hadn’t needed to go there to reveal his feelings to you, it was still a possibility. It was even more so now that he knew you felt the same way. 

He tries to be subtle as he brushes a hand up your back to the nape of your neck, gently grazing his fingernails against the skin there. He has to suppress a self-satisfied smirk when he feels you squirm under his touch, lifting your head to fix him with a scolding look. Your stern expression fades as soon as his eyes fall on your lips, however, and you quickly mirror his gaze. His lips part, and he feels his whole body shake as he takes a deep breath in. Who knew that you’d share your first kiss on a random Sunday morning in the fuckass middle of nowhere in Scotland?

Maybe you take pity on him, or you recognise the effort put into being the one to make the first move, or, as he’d like to think, you just really want to kiss him - either way, you’re the one who closes the gap and presses your lips to his.

Your lips. So soft, so delicate against his, absolutely perfect. It’s a simple, tentative touch, but he’s craved it for so long that it makes his head spin. He frowns, despite himself instantly needing more than this feather-like feeling of your lips brushing against each other. His mind tells him to calm down and take it slow, but his body takes over, urging him to grab the nape of your neck a little harder, to hold you a little closer to him, to kiss you a little stronger. Thankfully, you let him do all of this and more, hands finding purchase in his hair and returning his intensity tenfold. 

He doesn’t know what’s better - the fact that you’re kissing him or the kiss itself. The way your lips move against his is intoxicating; it wraps itself around its mind and leaves no room for thoughts that aren’t of you. You seem to want him as desperately as he wants you, to have waited for him as long as he did for you, and this is what drives him crazy. You press your body against his and he sees stars; you let out a moan against his lips and he kisses you deeper, ready to do anything to hear that melody again. 

Unfortunately, the only melody he gets to hear is that of his phone alarm, informing you that it’s quarter to eleven and that you have fifteen minutes to leave. Check-out at eleven am had sounded nice yesterday; now, he would stay in this dingy inn his whole life if it meant he got to keep kissing you. 

The both of you reluctantly break apart, bursting into giddy laughter when your eyes meet. As said before, Jake always thinks you’re pretty, but with your pupils blown and your lips plump from kissing, this might just be the prettiest he’s ever seen you. 

“You know, I like you a lot, but I’d like you even more if you could stop time,” you say.

He looks down at you with a smile, pushing away the strands of hair that had fallen on your face. “Sure, I’ll learn how to control time for you.”

“Thanks, Jakey.” You peck his lips, lingering, and he closes his eyes to savour your sweetness. 

“Anything for you, baby.” His eyes widen at the nickname slip, but you erupt into giggles.

“Baby?”

“Would you look at the time, we really got to go,” he says, detangling his limbs from yours. He pauses for a second. “Baby,” he repeats, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead before bouncing from the bed.

You get ready together, and the mundane tasks of stripping sheets from a bed and packing bags become the funnest things he’s ever done. You’re all over each other, attacking the other with kisses and hugs; Jake doesn’t think he’s ever felt quite this happy. 

And this is only the beginning.

--

There’s a glint in the receptionist’s eyes when you check out of your room, as if she knew something you and Jake had been oblivious to all along. It’s the only one in town, so you go back to the little pub for a full breakfast with eggs, hash browns, haggis, and sausages. You get coffee so strong you think you might not sleep for the next four days, while Jake drinks tea that is equal parts sugar, milk, and actual tea.

From the moment you leave the pub to the moment you arrive at your doorstep, Jake’s hands barely leave yours. When they have to, like when you’re searching for the perfect seat on the train or when the controller checks your tickets, they’re back together within a minute, like two magnets that can’t stay apart for too long. The rain has long subsided, leaving place to a bright blue sky and wet blades of grass that shine in the sun. 

Now that your mutual feelings don’t need to be kept secret, you tell each other about everything you had to go through, like you pretending your good news was your mum having baked the cookies Jake liked and him seeing your new boyfriends every two months on your close friends story. He tells you about all the hints he’s dropped, causing you to facepalm over and over again. It feels like two friends catching each other to speed on all the latest gossip, except the topic of that gossip is you.

The juxtaposition of your familiarity with Jake with the novelty of behaving like a couple, of not having to hold back with your touches or gazes or words, is nothing if not jarring. But you have a feeling you’ll get used to it in no time. 

As you unlock the front door to your building, you don’t ask him if he’s coming up - to you, it’s a given that you’ll be spending the rest of today and every day after that together. So when he doesn’t follow you, staying still on the threshold, you turn around with a questioning look on your face. 

“There’s something I need to do this afternoon,” he says, taking both of your hands in his.

“Can’t I come with?” you say. Jake wavers for a second, but sadly, he stays firm in his decision.

“Sorry, baby, it’s a surprise. I’ll be back at seven with takeout?”

You can’t possibly be mad at him when he calls you baby and offers food in the same breath. “Only if you bring takeout.”

“You only love me because I feed you, don’t you?” he asks, a smile on his face.

“Yup,” you reply. You’re standing on a step, so you bend down to kiss him - you intend for it to be a peck, but when your lips touch, you’re unable to pull away. You let yourself get lost in the feeling of his lips on yours, in the warmth that takes over your body and makes your brain all fuzzy. 

A loud, affronted gasp from behind you makes you jump from Jake, and when you turn around, Chaewon and Yunjin are standing in the stairwell, staring at you with wide eyes and gaping mouths. 

“So this was a sexcapade?” is, much to your horror, the first thing Yunjin says.

Thanks to Chaewon, neither you nor Jake have the time to dwell on this sentence as she comes running down the stairs and pounces on you. You don’t know how a woman so small can have such force, but her hug is so tight you can barely breathe, let alone hug her back properly. “I knew you could do it!” she exclaims. When she pulls away, she seems so moved, it looks like she’s about to cry. “You finally popped your Jake cherry,” she whispers, but it’s loud enough for Jake to hear. A bark of laughter escapes his throat.

“Okay, thanks, guys,” you say, escaping this awkward situation and going up the stairs. “I’ll see you later, Jake!” you yell over your shoulder. The girls seem to be on their way out, and you’re more than happy leaving him to deal with them on his own. God knows you’ll get the worst of it when they come back. 

As soon as you get to your flat, you make a beeline for your bedroom, plopping on the bed. You’re the same person, and this is the same room. But something within you feels entirely different, like a scar that you had been carrying around had, without you even noticing, healed so well you could barely see it anymore. You lifted your hands in the air, looked at the back of them, then at your palms. They were the same old hands that had been with you your whole life, and you were almost shocked that there wasn’t something utterly different about them after having held Jake’s hand for so long. Just to be sure, you sniffed your right hand, but it didn’t smell any different, either. But you still felt Jake’s hand on yours, like headphones you’d been wearing for hours and still felt on your ears after taking them off.

Yunjin and Chaewon are back from their shopping half-an-hour later; they got you a chocolate fudge cake from Tesco to congratulate you. “You guys are acting like this is my birthday…” you say, eyeing the cake greedily as Chaewon cuts it into three equal parts (even though it says serves eight on the packaging). 

“This is more important than your birthday, Y/N,” Yunjin states as she pours oat milk into three cups of Earl Grey tea. “This is, like, the moment of a lifetime.”

“Are you saying a girl’s importance depends on her having a boyfriend?”

“Yes, Y/N, that’s exactly what I’m saying. Especially when said boyfriend is the guy she’s been pining after for all of her teenage and adult life.”

You sigh. “Well, he hasn’t exactly popped the boyfriend and girlfriend question yet.” They both turn to look at you, an annoyed look on their faces. You stand up straight, uncomfortable under their gazes. “What?”

“Usually, I’m all for clarity on this issue,” Chaewon starts. “But isn’t it pretty obvious here?”

“You’re still gonna have to tell us everything in minute detail, but Jake’s already told us what happened. He had no qualms referring to you as his girlfriend, so I really don’t think this is something you need to worry about. What you should worry about is when and where you’re going to hop on that dick.”

Chaewon bursts into laughter, and you can’t help but follow suit. “Gosh, Yunjin, you really do have a way with words.”

“I know. This is what having a Jane Austen hyperfixation at fifteen will do to you.”

Following Yunjin’s orders, you tell them about the events of the previous day and this morning over tea and cake. They ooh and ah and gasp in all the right places, ask you very specific questions and even make you draw a picture of the room you stayed in. You’ve talked to them about Jake so many times that there’s only so much to say now - but still, you talk for hours on end, deviating off-topic so often you end up talking about something else entirely. 

You’re in bed reading for your Middle English Literature class when the doorbell rings. It’s seven on the dot, so it can be no one else other than Jake. It’s been mere hours, but you’ve missed him enough to last you for weeks. 

He brought takeaway from the Indian place you’d raved about a hundred times but hadn’t brought him to yet. Somehow, your heart grows even fonder as you watch his reaction to the food, the raise of his eyebrows, the widening of his eyes, the excited shimmy of his shoulders. When you ask him about his afternoon, a wide smile breaks out onto his face, like a lightbulb illuminating a room. Without a word, he scurries to your room, bringing back some sort of book with him. He hands it to you  with a shy smile and curious eyes, eagerly anticipating your reaction. The cover reads Y/N and Jake in his clumsy but endearing handwriting, with the date of his arrival in Edinburgh and an em-dash scribbled underneath. “I haven’t booked my flight home yet, so I’ll add the second date later,” he explains. 

When you flick through it, you’re met with photographs of you and Jake on all of the trips you’ve done so far, as well as the various adventures you got up to in the city. There’s even one of you sleeping in the library at two am during midterms when you had forgotten about one of your essays, due at midday. Jake had come with coffee and words of encouragement, and now he could brag that the high mark you got was thanks to him. It’s not only photos - it’s also ticket stubs, receipts, stickers, and even a dried flower you had found pretty on your trip to St. Andrews. He’s also written quite a lot, from diary-like entries about what you got up to that day or songs that reminded him of you. 

“You misspelt right here,” you say, pointing to a sentence that reads This is the café write next to the hotel where the last Harry Potter book is said to have been written!!! under a photo of you drinking a massive cup of hot chocolate. The more you look at the typo, the more it makes you laugh, until you have tears brimming in your eyes.

Thanks to Yunjin’s messiness, pens and pencils are strewn over your coffee table. Jake, flushed red in embarrassment at the small mistake, snatches a pencil and aggressively erases write, spelling it correctly the second time around. “This is the level of today’s English Lit undergrads,” he murmurs under his breath. His frown disappears when he looks at you and he laughs along.

You continue looking through the album until you land on a page titled Why I love Y/N. From top to bottom, left to right, it’s filled with Jake’s tiny handwriting. You can tell he put effort into making it neat. There’s a singular photograph of you, one that dates from the first days after Jake’s arrival when you were walking around in the Meadows, the park right next to campus. The sun shone down on you and you smiled brightly at Jake behind the camera.  

You’re not a quarter through reading when tears swell in your eyes, rendering your vision blurry. You wipe them away before they can fall and stain the page. Jake has detailed every last thing he loves about you. It can hardly get cornier than this, but the fact that he wrote this about you makes your heart so full, you’re afraid it might explode in your chest. It ranges from basic things like the way she makes me laugh or her pretty face when she falls asleep in the train (or anywhere, for that matter) to more you-specific things like the strict pastel colour-coding she uses for her notes and her perseverance when eating spicy food even though she can’t take it. He mentions things about you that you didn’t even know, and that feeling of being known in-and-out, of being really seen by someone else only brings more tears to your eyes. Your favourite line comes at the end - the way she makes any place feel like home. A proper sob pushes past your lips at this, and Jake, who had been watching you with an anxious smile, rests a palm on your knee and inches closer to you.

“Why are you crying, is- Did I write something bad?”

You shake your head fervently. “No, no, Jakey, this is… It’s perfect. I’m just…” you trail, letting out a half-sob, half-chuckle. You look at him with a smile before pulling him into a tight hug. “I love it so much. I love you so much.”

You can feel Jake relax against you. “I love you too, baby. I’m glad you like it.”

You pull away after a small while, and turn the next page over. It’s a picture of you over breakfast this morning, with words WE’RE DATING!!!! written underneath it, and those simple words make you so happy, your cheeks ache from smiling. But every page after that is empty. Jake scratches the back of his neck. “I, um, I thought we could fill the rest out together. I debated just doing it myself and giving it to you at the end of the year, but I thought it’d be more fun doing it together.”

“It would. This is such an amazing idea,” you say, flicking back through the pages.

“I thought of it because of that project I had. When I started working on it, all the photos I wanted to include were of you, but I wasn’t sure how much my professor would appreciate that… So I decided to make one more personal. One for us,” he says shyly, shrugging like it’s no big deal.

“Thank you so much, Jakey.”

He smiles. “It’s no worries.”

“Did you do it all this afternoon?”

“I had started it before, but I added it most of today, yeah. Which, by the way, awful timing. I wanted nothing more than to spend today with you.”

Your heart leaps. You’re not sure you’ll ever get used to hearing such words from Jake’s mouth.

Sometime later, you’re laying in bed with Jake between your legs, watching the most recent animated Spiderman movie. With the tips of your fingers, you draw random patterns on his forearm, and if it wasn’t for his occasional chuckles, you’d think he had fallen asleep. You chat for a bit after the movie, but you find that after such an emotionally-packed day, you’re ready to call it a night fairly early. But when the lights are off and it’s just you lying against Jake’s chest, his fingernails grazing your scalp and his familiar, comforting scent clouding your judgement, all thoughts of an early night are thrown out of the window.

You shouldn’t feel so nervous - you had fallen asleep in his arms last night, and it had gone well. Really well. 

“This is different from yesterday, isn’t it?” Jake suddenly says, breaking the heavy silence with a low voice. It’s like he read your mind.

“Yeah,” you whisper against his skin.

No other words are needed. You brush the tip of your nose along his neck until you reach his jawline, pressing soft kisses there and delighting in the increasing shakiness of his breath. The feeling of your lips meeting is so intense, so all-encompassing, that you don’t know if you’ll be able to handle anything more.

This is still new territory, but you’re both so eager to discover it that it makes for a messy kiss, lips moving against each other ravenously, tongues beckoning moans from the other. It’s a kiss that somehow leaves you breathless and breathes oxygen back into your lungs at once. 

In a matter of seconds, Jake has flipped you on your back and is hovering over you, one hand holding him up and one hand free to roam your body. He slips it underneath your t-shirt, brushes it along the side of your waist, his touch leaving behind a trail of fire blazing on your skin. It’s so distracting, you can’t even kiss him back properly anymore. Jake doesn’t seem to mind. At first, when he starts pressing hot kisses to your jawline and your neck, you think he’s giving you a respite - but when he gently sinks his teeth into the skin there, leaving marks that will later remind you tonight wasn’t a dream, chuckling as you squirm and whine under him, you understand that this is anything but a respite. 

You curse your earlier decision of not wearing a bra, because it gives you no preparation whatsoever to the sensation of Jake brushing his thumb against one of your nipples. With a loud gasp, your back arches off of the bed, which only aids Jake in raising your t-shirt up over your breasts. 

He takes a minute to admire the sight of you panting and half-naked underneath him. It makes you feel shy, and you want to do something so that he stops looking and starts doing, but his gaze holds you in place. His pupils are blown with lust, eyes raking over your body and taking everything in. You have a hard time wrapping your head around the fact that it’s you he’s looking at with those eyes. 

His soft lips attach themselves to your nipple while his fingers continue their work on the other one. You’ve never felt this sensitive, never felt this on edge, like you might fall apart at any second even with so little simulation. Your core throbs, impatiently waiting to be tended to, but you’re already trembling so hard from Jake’s attention to your breasts that you don’t know what will happen to you once he actually touches you down there.

“You doing okay, baby?” he asks, the rasp in his voice making you want him impossibly more. You grip his hair and he looks up at you, a tender smile on his lips. You nod your head yes and he laughs. “Yeah? You want more?” You pause at his question. You do want more, but is it worth your sanity?

It takes you a second to decide that it’s worth that and more. You nod again. 

Jake seems to have sensed your hesitation. He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. “You sure you’re okay?”

“I am. It’s just a lot.”

His expression of worry softens into a smile. “I’ll take it slow for you, love. It’s a lot for me, too.” He leans in to press soft kisses to your cheek, and some of the tension in your body diffuses. Whatever happens, Jake will be there to take care of you. “But it feels good, right?” he asks, lips moving against your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

“So good, Jakey,” you reply shakily.

“Good.”

You can tell that Jake really does want to take it slow - his movements are more deliberate, gentler. But eagerness, both yours and his, soon takes over, and a minute later, he’s trailing kisses down your body until he reaches your lower stomach. Your breath quickens as he hooks fingers underneath your leggings and underwear, sliding both garments down your legs and leaving you bare to him. You think the feeling of his lips on the fleshy parts of your inner thighs is what might actually do you in, make you lose your sense of reality forever - but then his tongue darts out against your clit, a barely-there touch, and your whole body flatlines. 

Your reaction eggs Jake on, who, more confident now, takes the sensitive bud in his lips and alternates between sucking and licking motions. A knot ties itself embarrassingly quickly in your stomach, a knot that tightens and tightens as Jake flattens his tongue against you, licking up your juices from your entrance to your clit; a knot that threatens to come loose when he slides a long finger inside of you. You can’t take more than thirty seconds of this.

“Jakey,” you say, voice practically a moan. Your brain is fuzzy and it takes a distressing amount of time to form a simple sentence. “Can you come here?”

“Is something wrong, baby?” he asks breathily, sliding his finger out of you and coming back up so that his face is right above yours. 

“No, just… I want you.”

Any trace of worry on Jake’s features dissipates as he cocks an eyebrow, one corner of his lips tugging up into a smirk. “Is that so?”

This kind of boldness would usually have you rolling your eyes, but here, it only makes your core throb more violently. It’s almost humiliating how much you want this man. It’s definitely humiliating, how easy it is to swallow your pride and play into his game. “Yes, please,” you say, eyes pleading with him.

He smiles almost giddily before burying his face against the side of yours. “My baby’s so polite,” he says, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “I’ll give you whatever you want.”

“Take this off, then,” you say, grabbing the bottom hem of his t-shirt. 

“So she says please and gives orders,” he jokes, quickly obliging anyway. 

Not once in your time apart had Jake posted any sort of beach trip or pool photos, so this was the first time you saw his bare chest. God, was it one for the history books. You trace the defined lines of his muscles with a finger and wonder how he had managed to get even more perfect. He lets you marvel at him for it, clearly proud that you’re gawking so shamelessly, but your mind drifts back to more urgent matters when he presses himself into you, his clothed cock, hard and hot, brushing against your folds. “Fuck,” you sigh, bucking your hips into his to feel him over and over again.

It’s so much, but it’s not enough; Jake instantly gets your message when you hook your fingers under the waistband of his boxers, pulling him to you and kissing him feverishly. Your lips don’t part as he slides his boxers off, and you drink up the nectar that are his moans as you take him in your hand, pumping him a few times.

“Condom?” he asks, but you shake your head.

“I’m on the pill. And even so… I usually always use a condom, but I don’t want to now. Not with you.”

Jake closes his eyes as he takes a deep, stabilising breath. “I feel totally normal about that. Not crazy at all.”

You giggle, and he opens his eyes, a wide smile gracing his lips before he bends down to kiss you. “You ready for the night of your life?” he asks against your lips. “It’s gonna last five minutes, tops,” he says, making you laugh again. “I’m sorry, baby, I can’t do anything about it. I think I could’ve cum just from eating you out.”

“That would’ve been hot.”

“Really? We’ll make it a challenge for next time, then.”

When Jake plunges into you, it’s unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. He fills you up, slow inch by slow inch, until he’s buried to the hilt inside you. You both need some time getting used to the feeling - Jake drops his head in the crook of your neck and lets out a sound between a grunt and a moan, something you’ve never heard from him before. You grab onto his shoulders, fingernails digging into his skin as you try to tether yourself to him. You hold him so tight that he has no choice but to let his body rest on top of yours, his arms coming to circle your waist and bring you even closer. 

His movements start out halting, the pleasure so overwhelming that it makes it hard for him to move steadily. In time, he falls into a torturously slow rhythm, but it’s the perfect kind of torture, the kind that has tears brimming in your eyes. It’s so hard to take, and yet you want more. You’re brought closer to the edge with every thrust of his dick into you, especially as he picks up the pace and lifts your hips to meet his. The new angle has his tip brushing against that spot deep inside you that makes it hard to breathe. 

You can tell he’s just as close as you when he loses that steady rhythm he had found, his motions growing more desperate, harsher, quicker. Conscious of your roommates, you slap a hand over your mouth to muffle your moans as your orgasm washes over you, your whole body on fire, so sensitive that the few more seconds Jake needs to come undone himself drive both your body and your mind into overstimulation. Even the feeling of him pulling out, drops of hot liquid dripping out of your entrance, is too much and makes you let out a small, tired whine. 

Jake peppers your face with kisses as he holds your waist tightly, brushing his thumb back-and-forth on your warm skin, sticky with sweat. “You did so well, baby. So good for me.” You think you might be ready for a second round if he keeps talking to you like that. “I love you so much.”

You sigh deeply, as if you were just told disconcerting news. “Okay.”

“Okay?!” he echoes, looking up at you with an outraged expression on his face.

“I’m sorry, I love you too, I just- I’m not used to this yet! You can’t just tell me you love and expect me to be normal. You have to warn me first.”

“Can I just warn you now that I’m going to tell you I love you every time I get the chance?”

You sigh. “I guess.” 

“Can I tell you now?” he asks, and you hum. “I love you.”

“I love you more.”

Jake tuts. “I highly doubt it, but whatever makes you happy.”

You hold Jake close to you, one arm around his shoulders and the other hand playing with his hair as you come down from your high. You think he might’ve fallen asleep, and you’re close to drifting off yourself when he speaks. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this. Not just the sex, although that has been on my mind for a while now,” he says, making you laugh, “but all of this. Being together, getting to be in your arms like this, kissing you whenever I want. Calling you my girlfriend.”

“Me too, Jakey. I waited so long I didn’t think it would ever happen.”

Jake chuckles. “How stupid were we not to have noticed we felt the same way?”

“Very stupid. I think we felt so sorry for ourselves that we were stuck in one-sided love, that we didn’t even realise the other was going through the exact same thing. But at least we’re now.”

“At least we’re here now.” You and Jake yawn at the exact same time, making you burst into giggles, giddy with sleep and love.

“Let’s sleep, baby,” you say.

Jake hums, burying himself deeper against your body. “Sleep well, my love. I’ll be here.”

--

After years of pining after each other, you and Jake find it a bit hard to keep your relationship to yourselves, or your hands off of each other.

At the beginning, all of your friends had been happy for you, but that quickly went away when your and Jake’s honeymoon phase never died down and the PDA just kept on going. If the glue you were stuck with previously was metaphorical, this one was pretty close to being real. Superglue kept you together, your moments together rarely spent without some sort of physical touch. Yunjin fake-gagged so often, you were afraid she might actually vomit one of these days. It took Sunghoon two weeks longer than everyone else to clock you and Jake had started dating.

This meant that in private, there was truly no holding back. Jake back-hugged you any chance he got, to the point you started to think he was more koala than human - although that’d imply he saw you as a tree. Make-out sessions were a particular favourite of yours - how could they not be when your boyfriend’s lips seemed to have been carved by God himself, soft and plump to the heavens, like they were made to be kissed. Really, you were just honouring God’s will when you kissed Jake.  

The goodbye that comes at the end of the year is not an easy one, and the month spent at home before you fly to Korea seems to never end. But you get there eventually, and as nice as it is to catch up with Jake’s parents after so long, you feign sleepiness after lunch as an excuse to get some time alone with your boyfriend. Ironically, this “time alone” is spent so intensely that you do end up falling asleep afterwards. 

You have to admit, you really did a number on your boyfriend this time - what can a girl do when she missed her boyfriend this much? Jake is still passed out when you wake up from your nap, so you slip out as discreetly as you can from his embrace and get out of bed. You head for the closet first and swipe the comfiest looking sweater of his that you find there so you can stay warm as you look around his room. A pang of melancholia hits your chest - most of the pictures and objects on his walls and shelves are parts of his life you weren’t around to witness. Friends you don’t recognize, places you’ve never heard of, phases you’d never known he’d gone through. But then you see the frame on his desk, a faded photo of the two of you at ten years of age, eating ice cream on the bench outside of your house. Milo is sitting at your feet. Jake’s family hadn’t adopted Layla yet. You realise that even if there’s whole parts of your life you didn’t get to share with each other, nothing could touch your memories, or your future.

You want to go back in time and tell fourteen-year-old you that no matter how painful it might seem at the moment, it will all be worth it for the sight of Jake Sim slowly drifting into wakefulness, patting the bed next to him, and noticing you’re missing with furrowed eyebrows. When he opens his eyes and they settle on you, a sleepy smile will grace his dazzling features, and he’ll say, “Come back to bed.”

You’ll be even more in love at twenty than at fourteen.

permanent taglist: @zreamy @sunghoonmybeloved @lalalalawon @sd211 @w3bqrl @raikea10 @wntrnghts @moonlighthoon @4imhry @rikisly @loves0ft @iamliacamila @theboingsuckerasseater9000 @chaechae-23 @baekhyuns-lipchain @hyuckslvr @vernonburger @amorbonbon @fluerz (ask to be removed/added!)

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[gavisfanta]

Hello, could you write a Gavi fic where she fell first but Gavi fell harder?

FEELINGS - GAVI

summary: enemies to lovers, she fell first he fell harder, when the "player" meets "hasn't had her first kiss yet" , so many tropes ik 😭

a/n: also i am a genuis, i cooked this story up (this is my new fav one) Gavi is so mean in this story atleast in the beginning I am sorry that i didnt write him like the pookiebear he is

warnings: cursing, smut, A LOT OF SMUT. some mistakes

You were currently sitting in uni, listening to the most boring poems people have ever came up with.

Your professor made you look for one that means the most to you.

"Yes, Carl can we hear yours please?" The profesor pointed at the blonde boy who was such a teachers pst, sitting in first row all the time and handing in every assignment 2 weeks early.

"Why is it, that when a story ends, we begin to feel all of it." Carl smiled, of course he's depressive if the only thing he has on his mind was school.

The professor only nodded his head and pointed at you. "Y/n, let's hear yours."

You sighed deeply and then looked at your papers.

"There'll always be a reason why you meet people.

Either you need to change your life,

or you're the one that'll change theirs."

"Beautiful," The proffesor praised you. However you were only happy that he didnt praise Carl.

But you had other things to focus on.

Like tomorrow.

"Fuck I cant believe this." You smiled as you turned to a random blonde girl who was standing next to you. "It's crazy" She muttered with a smile. You were a student at the University of Barcelona and they were giving away one special ticket to play a game against the first team in the johan cruyff stadium. That's how you ended up in the stadium with 17 other influencers, wearing the full Barca kit. However before you came here you had to get medical checkups to see if you were actually in shape to play 45 minutes.

A man then came out of the tunnel and all of you suddenly went quiet. "So hello, its lovely to have you all here and I'm so glad everyone made it here save. I know, we only told you that you will be playing against eachother, however we have a small surprise." The man smiled. You furrowed your eyebrows and looked at him. He stepped to the side and you saw 11 of the first team players walking out.

"They boys will join you for a quick game, dont go too hard on them." The man laughed and you tried to hide your smile as you looked at the players. He looked rather atletic, very British accent and he looked like he could be from Britain.

However then your eyes drifted to the 11 first team players. Ter Stegen, Balde, Araujo, Christensen, Kounde, Pedri, Frenkie De Jong, Gavi, Dembele, Lewandowski and Ferran Torres.

"So we have chosen 11 people for the line up." The man continued and then named all the people. "-and lastly, Y/n" You smiled a little bit as you looked at the whiteboard that was standing next to the man. You were in the midfield, right side to be exact.

So the referee blew the whistle and the game began. The striker from your team passed the ball to another midfielder and so the game went on. Passing and passing until eventually you had to cover up Gavi just as he received the ball. He tried to push you back a little but in that exact moment you moved your right leg between his legs and rolled the ball towards yourself. As soon as the ball was out of Gavi's reach you passed it down to the defense.

Meanwhile you were kinda proud of yourself, Gavi was extremely shocked. He would've defended like that against any other Laliga player. Maybe he would've pushed a bit harder but you were a woman so he couldn't play exactly the same.

But for any other player it was difficult to take the ball away from Gavi, and you took it in 2 seconds? That was huge bust for his ego, which was very high.

"What are you staring at? Move." Pedri asked the young midfielder and with that he got pulled out of his sudden shock state.

Even tho Gavi didn't seem to take it so seriously, it was because he was still shocked by that tackle you did on him. Pedri didn't like losing in general, thats why he tried a bit.

Pedri was annoyed with Gavi, he would have told him, but he knows his friend and his temper, so instead he didn't say anything.

After 20 minutes, the halftime in that game the score was still 0-0 which was surprising, because either the first team wasn't trying or you had too good of a defense.

But that changed in the final minutes of the game when your team just took the ball from the first team and you got it passed from a german influencer. Since you were playing in the right side of the midfield, you had pretty much open space on the right so you decided to dribble past the few players there.

Until you were standing in the box where you saw someone stand alone. You passed him the ball and he shot at Ter Stegen but he of course saved it. However, the ball bounced back from his hand and rolled right in front of your feet where without thinking for a second, you kicked and scored. You turned around and saw some of your teammates running towards you to celebrate.

Just a few minutes after that, the game ended and everyone took some pictures with the players. Nobody was sitting on the bench so you decided to sit down and drink some water.

While you took the second big gulp Gavi sat down next to you and looked straight ahead. "That was a dirty tackle." He mumbled while also grabbing a water bottle.

You couldn't help but smile a little bit at his words, you didn't look at him either. "But a beautiful one" You smiled at the stadium.

"You do believe that you're all that, trust me, one good tackle doesn't make you a Ballon d'Or winner." Gavi stood up and pointed at you before walking away. He didn't even want to hear you out, he just didnt want to look at your smile anymore. He hated the satisfaction that came with it.

"Ay Hermano, good game hm?" Pedri walked up to Gavi who scoffed and walked into the locker room. "Oh so you're still mad about that girl that tackled you, huge blow on your ego hm? She did that good tho." Pedri teased his friend whose blood was for sure boiling by now. He walked down into the locker room, his arms swinging by his side with force as he left his friend behind. Pedri shook his head as he saw how mad Gavi was, for him it didn't make any sense why he would even care. Maybe it was because he got overpowered by a woman, but Gavi wouldn't be like that.

"I need some chick to let my anger out, I'll call you later, you wanna join my place in two hours?" Gavi grabbed his bag with just his normal shoes on and started walking backwards towards the door. Pedri was right after all, if Gavi got overpowered by a woman he was gonna show himself that he still can overpower women himself.

"Only if we're alone" Pedri told him and Gavi nodded while giving him a thumbs up. The walk to the exit was long for him while he looked for the phone in his pocket.

However, then Gavi jumped into his car and then immediately dialed Arias number. Aria was a famous model who had worked with some big companies in her career before so she was definitely known to some people in Barcelona. To Gavi she was the girl who he called up once every two months for a fuck and then ghost her.

The idiot she was she agreed every time, she couldn't have been blamed, who could say no to Gavi.

"Are you alone?" Gavi immediately asked after she picked up.

"Yeah, you wanna come over?" She asked, she sounded excited, Gavi almost felt bad that he didn't care about her feeling at all.

"Yeah I'll be there in five. Get ready." Without any further exchange of words, he hung up and kept driving through the city.

After he finally arrived the door to her apartment swung open and Gavi didn't waste a second.

While pushing her against the wall and pushing his tongue down her throat he began taking off her clothes until she was left in her underwear.

"Get on your knees." Gavi said harshly after he finally pulled away from her. There was really nothing romantic or sweet in what Gavi was doing.

But Aria did as the footballer requested her to. She was facing Gavis crotch and he immediately pulled down his shorts and boxers to his knees and pumped her hand up and down his hard dick a couple of times before grabbing her ponytail.

"Open up wide." Gavi said and Aria did as he asked her too, sooner then she knew, his dick was deep down her throat. He was face fucking her at the highest speed. He didn't care if she gagged, he didn't care if she coughed, as long as his dick stayed inside her mouth and he could chase his own pleasure.

Just as she put her hands on the back of his tights for stabilization he pulled his dick out of her mouth and slapped her cheek with it. "Don't touch me." He leaned down a bit and then he shoved his dick down her throat again.

He came after a few minutes, and after he cleaned the edges of her lips and making her eat the rest of his cum he leaned down to her.

"You're always so good to me Aria, sad that your gorgeous body doesn't come with a brain." Gavi kissed her one last time and then left her apartment, leaving her sitting on the floor. The brown haired girl who was on her knees didn't know what else to do other than look down at the floor. She was ashamed of herself but everytime she licked her lips she still tasted Gavi, so that made it all disappear.

Gavi on the other hand was making his way down in the elevator, he had his hands crossed infront of his chest while an old man was standing next to him. He didn't look at the man, the only thing he prayed for was that he wouldn't recognize him. He breathed out a long breath after he made it to the ground floor and basically ran out the elevator.

So as he sat into the car he called his bestfriend Pedri. "Hey, can you come over now?" He asked and looked at the time, about two hours have passed since practice.

"Yeah, are you still on your way?" Pedri asked Gavi. Pedri hadn't done anything ever since he got home from practice, he went to shower a second time because it was so hot in Barcelona and then was on his phone in bed the whole time. He didn't have anything else planned so he only waited for Gavi to text or call.

"Yeah, I'll get home in five, so I'll leave the door open and you just let yourself in." Gavi explained and nodded even tho Pedri couldn't see him. The young midfielder started the car and began his journey towards his house.

"Bien, see you later." Pedri was the one to hang up the phone. Gavi was focused on the road until he arrived home, with a deep sigh he got out of the car and made his way inside his house.

He put down his bag and then went to pour himself a cup of water before sitting down on the couch and opening instagram.

He checked some of his messages and came across the restricted account of Aria. The message that came from her read "loved it, we have to repeat it". Gavi scoffed at her message. Luckily he had her restricted so she couldn't see if he viewed her message.

Gavi looked at Aria more as a stupid slut, he never really talked to her, it was always just her sucking him off.

Just as he wanted to text Pedri where he was but im that second the door opened and Pedri's voice echoed through the house.

"Hola Hermano" Pedri sounded excited to see his friend, the same was for Gavi, he stood up and went to greet his friend with a hug.

"How are you, everything good after your meet up with..." Pedri stopped for a second after he dabbed up Gavi. "Who was it this time?" Pedri smiled a bit.

"My god, Aria." Gavi rolled his eyes and Pedri's eyes widened.

"I thought you hated her?" Pedri asked while taking off his shoes and the duo made their way further inside the house to the couch.

"I do but her head game is good, it is what it is." Gavi shrugged his shoulders and let himself fall down on the white couch.

"Man you're sick." Pedri laughed a bit while he patted his friends shoulders. "Bye the way, do you remember the girl that tackled you?" Pedri turned his upper body towards the younger midfielder.

"Oh shut up, just drop that act." Gavi shook his head as he groaned.

"No, I actually spoke to her after I showered and-" Pedri began and then Gavi stopped him.

"Oh so you showered with her?" Gavi smiled.

"No!? You shut up, so I've talked to her and she's a university student here. So I was a bit shocked when I found out that it wasn't all content creators, because I thought so-" Pedri started again but this time Gavi caught him off once again.

"Man just get to the point, you're talking too much." He clapped his hand on his thigh and smiled a bit.

"So what I found out, that her brother works in the medical team. When she said that her brother is Marco, my jaw dropped right." Pedri smiled at Gavi and his jaw dropped too.

Marco had worked closely together with the team in the couple of months, that's why Gavi and Pedri knew him so well and were on good terms with him. They sometimes invited him to team hangouts but that was rather rare.

"So then she told me that she'll be visiting the practice the day after tomorrow since she's studying medicine in sports and she would have came here anyway to watch what her brother was doing." Pedri explained to Gavi, him on the other hand was fighting his concentration span. Pedri was talking way too many words that were so boring.

"Okay, good, you're absolutely inlove with her and I don't care, I don't like her." Gavi stood up to get himself a glass of some juice, he needed sugar, so that's why the ice tea packaging in the fridge caught his eyes as he was standing in front of the open fridge door.

Pedri was left on the couch, confused by Gavi. "Why would I be inlove with her?" Pedri shot up from the couch and also folloeed his friend into the kitchen.

"Cause why do you listen to her yapping all those words?" Gavi sighed and put down an empty glass on the counter.

"Cause I don't have an attention span of three seconds unlike some others here." Pedri gave the younger midfielder a side eye.

"What did you say?" Gavi grinned at his own joke and Pedri scoffed while he smiled.

-

"Hey" You told your brother as you sat into the car, he went to pick you up from your apartment so you could go to esportiva together.

"Hurry" Your brother Niko stressed you, you just shook your head. Your brother was two years older than you but you two always got along, you chased the same dream of living in Barcelona, thats why you got along better with him than your other siblings. The city had a special effect on you, while in England you didn't really have any friends and felt very unhappy and alone, moving to Barcelona changed that. You didn't have mamy friends here either but a few good ones, whenever you felt sad or alone or even stressed because of university, you went on a walk or maybe you even bought a ticket to a game. That brightened up your mood immediately.

"So we'll have to go into the kffice at first, say hi to Juan, he's my work partner avoid him tho, he talks way too much. Then the players will come in eventually and that's when you'll have to stay serious, no giggling around no laughing, if I see you touch one of them, I'll send you outside." He told you while pointing his finger towards you. You rolled your eyes ans then nodded your head. "Good, after the players are gone, we'll have to go to the office again and be on the computer to type everything in." Niko explained further and then drove to the security infront of the training facilities. He walked up to Niko as he let down the window. "Niko, how are you" The security man asked your brother.

"Good, could be better tho, work means work." Niko shrugged his shoulders and the man smiled.

"It is what it is, is that your girlfriend or-?" The man pointdd towards you and you quickly shook your head.

"I'm his sister." You quickly corrected the man who raised his arms into the air.

"Sorry, don't know what kind of businesses your brother has." He laughed and you just smiled at him, trying to be friendly. "Okay you can go through." The man told Niko and he drove up to the parking lots where he parked down his car.

Until you walked to the office everything was pretty boring. That was until you accidentally ran into Pedri in the hallway when you were just on your way to the toilet.

"Oh no way, hey Y/n" He smiled as he dabbed you up. Your face was also covered in a wide grin as he released his hand from yours again.

"Hey Pedri." You held it short and waited for him to keep going wifh the conversation.

"You wanna cone down and watch us train? Or do you have things to do? Cause I'm pretty sure that Xavi will be okay with it." Pedri suggested and your eyes immediately lit up.

"My brother will say no, a hundred percent." Your lips parted into a thin line to which Pedri only began to smile.

"Come on" He grabbed your arm and put his other hand on the door handle to Niko's office. He opened it and pulled you inside befire he ket go of your arm. His grip was so strong that you thought that your blood circulation had stopped for a second.

"Hey Pedri man, what's up?" Niko turned around in his office chair to face the Canarian midfielder who was already wearing the practice kit.

"Niko, listen hermano, is it okay if we steal her from you? She's gonna be at the pitch with us." Pedri asked Niko who gave you a dirty look.

"Sure, if you say so" Niko answered Pedri while he gave you another mad look and then turned back to his laptop, shaking his head in annoyance.

"Come on, let's go." The midfielder turned to face you and left the office, closing the door behind himself.

-

That day you didn't do much, just stood at the sidelines and watched the team train, you weren't complaining tho, it was amazing.

Niko was only a bit mad at you because he told you to keep it together while with the players. However, the following day, which was friday, you were alone in your apartment, like usual.

Scrolling through instagram many videos popped up on your feed about gavi, pedri and other barca players. Your eyes scanned all the videos until they landed on a gavi one. He looked surprisingly good in the clásico that was last week against real madrid. Where Barca wore the motomami shirt by Rosalía, they ended up winning 2-1 with Kessie's last minute winner.

The same video kept replaying, of Gavi laying on his back on the pitch, breathing heavily, his hair sticking to his forehead and pearls of sweat hoovering on his forehead.

It was obvious that he mouthed the words "puta madre", which only made him look so hot in your opinion. Your mind drifted off as you imagined him below you, you on top of him, riding him out until he is a heavy breathing mess.

You sqeezed your legs together as you imagined how he would feel inside of you his hands gripping your waist to thurst up into you after your knees have given out and you touching his body, your fingers sloding over his abs and you looking down at the point where you two would meet. Gavi's head would be propped on a pillow while he looked at himself thrusting up into you and you would look at him. You felt your stomach cramp at the thoughts you were having.

That was until the sound of your phone ringing pulled you back into your thoughts. You looked down on your phone and saw Pedris name written on the screen. Immediately you realized what you wrre thinking about and made a disgusted face immediately. Gavi was such a prick for no reason, you wouldn't want him to take your virginity.

So sliding the button to take Pedri's call and putting it up to your ear, you heard the midfielders voice.

"Hey are you busy?" Pedri asked immediately and you looked at the time.

"No, why are you asking?"

"I didn't wanna disturb you, anyways; I wanted to ask if you would be up to coming over to my house today, we invited some team mates and their girlfriends and I thought you'd get along great with Dani and Mikky, maybe even Taia. So do you have time?" Pedri asked and you looked at the clock again. You didn't really plan anything for that day so there was no hesitation.

"I'd love to, just tell me when to be there and send me over your address." The smile on your face was heard by Pedri.

"Great, I'll send everything over, see ya." And as soon you told Pedri goodbye too, he hung up the phone, his gaze shifted towards Gavi walking down the stairs, his arm wrapped around a girls waist. He didn't seem to notice his bestfriend until the girl left and he closed the door then turned around.

"Since when are you here?" Gavi asked and locked the door before walking over to Pedri on the couch.

"Since ten minutes, is she new by the way?" Pedri raised his brows while looking at the girl Gavi just brought to the door.

"Nah, I just hit her up after like 5 months again. Gotta wait another five now." Gavi shrugged his shoulders and sat down.

"How do they still sleep with you if you ignore them for five months." Pedri questioned to which Gavi just responded with a laugh.

"My dick works wonders" He shrugged his shoulders once again and then pulled out his phone.

"Yeah, I heard that. I also invited some other people over to my place tonight." Pedri let him know and the younger midfielder lifted his head up immediately and locked his phone.

"What people?"

"Like Frenkie and Mikky, Fermin, Marc and Dani and the girl that tackled you." Pedris lips pulled up into a smile as he saw Gavi's face drop.

"Why would you invite her, what's her name again?" Gavi looked at Pedri surprised. He wasnt the biggest fan of you, he disliked you, if not dispised you. The only reasonable reason was because you tackled him, many people would think that that's a stupid reason to hate someone, including Pedri. But Gavi's ego was the highest in his private life, on the pitch he was rather focused and didn't want to get over himself too much, but since that was basically just a little silly game with some influencers and you tackled him. Why did you out of all of them tackle him, how did you tackle him. That was what went through his head the whole day after that small game.

For you it was amazing but the tackle was not the only thing that remained in your head. The young midfielder who happened to be Gavi looked surprisingly better in real life. So the moments of him sitting down next to you or him looking at you didn't go unnoticed by you.

You wouldn't say that you had a crush on him, he wasn't very nice and he didn't treat people with respect in your eyes, but his looks speak for themselves.

That's why as soon as you stepped foot into Pedri's gigantic house, your eyes scanned the room and stopped at the side of Gavi's head. His side profile was too attractive but immediately you were disgusted by yourself as you thought about the thinks that crossed your mind before Pedri had called you.

Everyone was chatting while sitting at the couch and Pedri who just closed the door behind you turned to you. "How are you?" He asked and a smile plastered across his face.

"I'm awesome thank you for asking, what about you?" You smiled as you took off your shoes and stepped onto the heated tiles with your socks.

"I'm better now that all of you are here, come on we wanted to play dare or drink after you came." Pedri informed you and then waved you to walk behind him while he made his way over to his couch.

All of the people turned to look at you and said hi to you, you decided to take place next to Mikky and Taia who were both very welcoming and nice towards you.

Pedri then eventually stood up and looked at everyone. "So we're gonna be playing drink or dare, rules are pretty simple, do a dare or drink, I'll get the Alcohol and in the meantime you guys decide who starts." Pedri then smiled and went to the kitchen to get three shot glasses and three bottles of vodka which was insane in your opinion but you were always up to a little drinking game. Gavi was sat next to Frenkie and Lewandowski on the other side of the couch, he had a clear view on you, however he didn't even notice you, until Frenkie mentioned Mikky to him and he looked over at the Dutchmans girlfriend and saw you. Pedri really did invite you, Gavi didn't understand why he did that since he didn't know you that well.

You both got pulled out of your thoughts when Pedri returned and then Fermin spoke up. "Pedrito, since you're at home here, we all agreed on you starting this game" Fermins cheeky smile covered his face as Pedri sat down next to Raphinha.

"Good, so Fermin, who was your first time?" Pedri leaned forward a bit and Fermin shook his head while he poured himself a shot.

"You know this is gonna be a short game for me if you keep asking me stuff you know I hate to talk about." Fermin laughed a bit while everyone smiled and watched him pour down the Alcoholo on his throat.

After about an hour you have listened and laughed a lot, the game was funny and everyone was a bit tipsy, except for you and Gavi. Gavi answered every question he got asked truthfully and the guys just didn't ask you any bad question since they didn't know you that well. The most exciting question was when you had your first kiss, and even that you answered. Truth was you didn't really had your first real kiss yet, the first and last one was in kindergarten.

So when everyone around you two was giggling and talking, and asking questions, Gavi and you held intense eye contact, nobody was able to look away, just staring at eachother from across the two sides of the couches.

Gavi's mind was filled with questions, just the same as always. "How, why, when" and everything else that came to mind. Why was it you that tackled him. Meanwhile his brows were knit together and you just thought of how arrogant he must he if he keeps looking at you like that, suddenly all the attraction towards him was gone, there was just that weird feeling in your head.

Eventually you cleared your throat and turned to Mikky. "I'll get myself a glass of water." You told her and she nodded. So standing up and walking in the dark to the kitchen, you searched for a glass and then placed it under the tap, the water filling up the cup slowly.

In the dark you could barely see how full it was, however you had to jump a little a few seconds later.

"He has bottled water" You turned around only to see Gavi who pointed at the fridge with his thumb and then put both of his hands into the pockets of his black joggers.

"Okay" You simply answered and then turned around to look at the half full glass of water still standing below the tap.

There was an awkward atmosphere between you two in the kitchen. The soft noise of laughter coming from the living room, the water running into the cup, the fridge making noises, the crickets outside, you suddenly seemed to realize everything.

"Are you a footballer?" Gavi asked again, he had to ask, he forced himself tho, he had to find out how. However you turned around, brows knit together and a confused look on your face.

"Why would I be?" Quickly answering and then turned off the water, just as you wanted to grab the glass, Gavi's hand was at your wrist and he grabbed it to turn you around to look at him.

The confusion in your face was clear as day, you had no idea what was going on. "How did you tackle me then?" He asked, still holding onto your wrist carefully but still with a good grip. Your body was pushed against the counted and him standing tall in front of you.

"I played football like 4 years ago, you don't forget everything you've learnt." You answered, still holding back a ittle since Gavi was standing way too close to you, you thought that he wouldn't notice your gaze shifting down to his lips for of couple of seconds. He did.

"You haven't played football in a club since 4 years?" Gavi raised his eyebrows and you nodded your head. He was surprisingly nice to you in that moment, you would have imagine him to swear at you or call you names but he was nice.

"This is a joke." Gavi whispered aggressively under his breath as he turned around and made his way towards the door. He left the house and left you standing in the kitchen with a confused look on your face.

That's why next week you got a little deja vu. That week you had talked a lot with Pedri and you'd even consider the two of you friends. You also got along great with the wags and you even went to get breakfast with Mikky and Dani, Ter Stegens wife.

Then you went with your brother to work and just like the last time, you stood next to Xavi who watched all the players train.

He had told you a week ago that if you don't disturb the practice sessions, you're allowed to watch and be there.

And one thing you noticed was that Gavi was playing shit, really shit, like passing the ball in the worst moments and not paying attention.

After the practice session was over you msde sure the players left before you walked into the locker room and grabbed your stuff you had left there in prior. You had to walk to the other side of where the entrance was and as you faced the wall and wanted to pick up the stuff you heard a voice coming from the door.

"I played shit today didn't I?" Gavi's voice echoed a bit and you turned around. "Must be because all of the girls I have in my head." He smirked while he looked at you.

"You should maybe stop thinking with your dick then if all you think about are your one night stands." You mumbled and Gavi raised his eyebrows immediately. He didn't know how much you hated that he slept with other women, he didn't know that you wanted him to think about you only while practicing, he didn't know that you had a crush on him.

"You're telling me to stop thinking about sex when I can see that you're drolling over all my teammates whenever they're playing." Gavi shot back and you shrugged your shoulders as a smile made it's way to your face.

"And I bet they're a better fuck than you." You shot back to which Gavi lowered his eyebrows again and he squinted his eyes while he smirked.

"You wanna try that out?"

"If you're begging for it" You shrugged your shoulders and then you turned back around to grab your stuff.

"Fine, send me your address I'll be there in-" He mumbled and turned around to look at the clock hanging over the door. "two hours," Gavi said confidentially and turned around to walk out the room. However he stopped in the doorframe and turned around to face you. "Oh and babe, leave the door open."

You squeezed your eyes shut as you turned away from the doorframe and a deep sigh escaped your lips.

The whole drive home, you anxiously tapped the steering wheel and looked at the clock. You still had one and a half hours, you knew that Gavi meant to sleep with you. You needed to prepare yourself mentally to sleep with him, not to mention that you were still a virgin, you didn't plan on telling him that he was about to be your first time.

So you switched into comfortable clothes which would be some grey joggers and a black crop top. You sat down on your couch and took out your phone immediately. Your gaze shifted from the tiktok you were watching to the clock every minute. Until you heard someone go up to your door and seconds later the door opened and Gavi walked inside.

"Good job leaving the door open, not many girls listen to me when I say that." Gavi mumbled, he was wearing a black compression shirt and a black jacket over it and black pants.

You looked him up and down while he took off his jacket and out it down on the couch. You stayed in place as ypu looked up at him, Gavi just stood infront of you until he shrugged his shoulders.

"You want me to bend you over on the couch or what?" Gavi asked, he knew that he had you.

You nervously stood up and then made your way over to the bedroom, you felt Gavi's presence behind you and immediately as you two entered the bedroom, Gavi closed the door and then turned you around.

"Not very talkative right now hm?" He grinned and then hungrily kissed your lips. The kiss was fast and he kept pulling you closer by your waist, the way his hands burnt into your exposed skin on the hips was sending shivers down your spine.

His lift were soft and aggressive, he was dominant and he carefully but the bottom of your lip, you opened your mouth slightly and then his tongue slipped into your mouth, dominantly fighting with yours. At that point your hands were behind his neck, pulling him closer. He felt like heaven and you knew you didn't want to stop even if it meant just a quick fuck for him, you wanted it to be him. Your crush who didn't even knew you had feelings for him and supposedly hated you.

So he pushed you towards the bed and as you sat down on it you started backing up to get in the middle.

"Take off your clothes." Gavi commanded and you didn't hesitate to pull down your joggers and crop top, exposing yourself in only underwear to him.

Gavi didn't speak as he took off his own clothes too and was left in his white boxer shorts. Your eyes scanned his body, you felt the pool between your legs getting bigger and hotter.

He then crawled on top of you, putting his body onto yours and kissing your lips passionately. His hands roamed your body until he reached your panties and he began to pull them down. As he parted his lips from yours to pull them down fully he looked at your wet pussy.

"So wet hm?" He teased as he then also pulled down his boxershorts and his hard dick hit his abdomen, your mouth fell slightly open at the sight of his dick he just looked at your pussy and then held himself up over you with one of his hands while he other one grabbed his dick. He started running his tip along your folds and watched your reaction. You bit your lip as you clenched around nothing, you just wanted him inside of you, stretching you out, you wanted to know how it feels.

After he was satisfied with your reaction, he alined himself and pushed himself into you fully.

"Oh my god you're tight" Gavi breathed out as you clenched around him, him stretching out your walls felt incredible, his hips meeting yours as he was balls deep inside of you felt incredible. He felt incredible.

There was a short sting of pain before he started moving but it all turned into pleasure after. You felt his tip grazing iver your g spot which made you moan and throw your head back. He started hitting the spot after he noticed that he had found it. As if that wasn't enough, he buried his head in the crook of your beck and started sucking on it, leaving nearly purple marks as he kept thrusting into you at a rapid speed.

His lips, his movements, his body, that all made it too much and eventually a warm knot started forming in your stomach as your legs were widely spread.

You arched your back and Gavi lifted up his head, he looked at you after he looked at the headboard hitting the wall of your bedroom. His eyes locked with yours and you stayed quiet in that second, his body moving yours and his eyes staying on yours, you clenched around him and he breathed out shakily.

Just a few thrusts and you finally came, your legs started shaking like crazy and you arched your back as you moaned.

Gavi only needed a few more seconds until he came too, he pushed inside of you one final time and shot his cum into you, the long ropes of his cum filling you up and he pulled out of your pussy. As you were still breathing heavily you remained on your back, staring at the ceiling while Gavi started dressing up again. You pulled a blanket over yourself as you watched him and as he was fully dressed, only missing his jacket from the couchnin your living room, he walked over to you and leaned down to your face.

"I hope this proves that I'm a better fuck than them." Gavi pecked your lips and then left you speechless as he walked out. You waited until he closed the main door and then you covered your face with your own hands.

You knew that there would be no aftercare, yet you were measuring out in your head if it was good or not. To him it meant nothing, to you, you will forever remember this time with Gavi. Many girls would have loved him to take their virginity and you didn't say that the sex was bad, but it still felt bad. So you sat up, legs trembling as then a tear rolled down your cheek. It hurt you that he didn't stay, you weren't mad at him because it wasn't his fault that you caught feelings for him and he didn't know, and it also wasn't his fault that he didn't know that he just took your virginity, it was your fault.

Other than you who was still sitting on the beds edge 10 minutes after Gavi left, the midfielder just arrived at Pedri's house where the two of them wanted to meet up to play fifa.

"Where were you?" Pedri asked Gavi just as soon as he arrived at the Canarians house.

"I was at someones apartment, don't worry." Gavi winked at Pedri to which he just responded with a sigh and he shook his head.

"How do you have so much sex and can concentrate on football at the same time. I can't do that" Pedri asked while Gavi sat down and shrugged his shoulders. "Who was it this time?"

"I can't tell you, top secret." Gavi answered and Pedri gave him a weird look.

"If you say so."

Gavi was just glad that Pedri didn't question him being away any further. Normally Gavi would tell Pedri who he slept with, but not when he also knows you.

-

Many days of practice sessions you attended have passed and also many games you watched in the tv. Until eventually the big game of the season came where it would be decided if Barcelona was gonna win the Laliga or not.

So against Espanyol they stepped foot onto the field and their only goal was to win, which they did.

You were smiling the whole time as you looked at the celebrate through the tv. Then not even an hour later you received a text in the groupchat you were in with some of the guys and their girlfriends.

"We meeting in Flamenco in three hours" Fermin texted and you sighed and looked at the clock. It was one am, that meant that you'll need to be up a long time. You decided to drink a coffee and then take a shower before starting to get ready. While you were doing your hair you also drank a red bull just to make sure that you were staying awake.

Then Mikky called you over Face time and you talked about her picking you up.

Sooner than you knew, Mikky was in front of your door with her car, sitting inside in a black dress. You drove to the club and you saw Pedri and decided to go up to him and ask him where Gavi was so you could talk to him.

"I think he's upstairs" Pedri mumbled and You nodded while making your way through the crowd. You wanted to talk to Gavi about him not going to practice today.

The music was loud as soon as you stepped up the stairs and saw that a door was slightly open. You made your way over to it and as you pushed it open your mouth fell slightly open.

There was a girl bent over the bed, she had her face burried in the sheets and didn't notice that you saw her getting pounded into the bed by nobody other than Gavi.

He saw you, and you saw him, fucking that girl.

He began to smile immediately after and then nudged his head towards you, his face was sweaty and his body was covered by sweat too.

He looked attractive, but you couldn't focus on that as the girl was clenching around his dick.

Gavi blew you a kiss before he waved you over but you just shook your head in disgust and turned around.

Making your way down the stairs again you were glad that you didn't drink since you needed to drive home as soon as possible before you collapsed and started crying.

It was one thing to know that Gavi was sleeping with other girls, but it was another to see how he fucked one.

ONE WEEK LATER:

"There's a problem tho." Pedri looked at you in the review mirror. Gavi was sitting next to Pedri in the passangers seat, white shorts and a white shirt which was hugging his muscles perfectly, meanwhile you were sitting behind Pedri, behind Gavi was Aurora.

Your attention shifted back to Gavi, his legs sread widely and his phone in its black phonecase in his lap.

He was also wearing black sunglasses and as always, he was chewing gum.

"Hm?" You turned your attention back to Pedri after you've observed Gavi for the hundredth time today.

"There aren't enough rooms. So Sira and Ferran share one, Aurora and Javi and obviously I'll sleep in a room with Fermin, that leaves Gavi and you. So you'll have to share." Pedri explained and you saw how Gavi immediately turned his head to face the Canarian.

So after a long discussion and pleading Pedri still wasn't able to find a solution, so you did have to share with Gavi.

After you arrived at the gigantic house you rented, you went to eat together and then it was already half past 12. So everyone quickly got back home and then got ready for bed.

While you were already in bed, Gavi was standing in front of the tv, staring down at his phone in his palm.

"Not the first time we share a bed hm?" Gavi mumbled and a small smile was heard, since he was facing you with his back, you couldn't tell if he was actually smiling or not.

"So you wanna fuck again, I know you've missed my dick." Gavi finally turned around and walked round the bed to take off his socks. Then he got into the bed next to you and turned off the lights. There was a few minutes of silence between the two of you.

"Mhm, except that I wouldn't know any other dicks at all." You mumbled quietly to yourself, you were a hundred percent sure that he didn't hear it until he looked up at you.

"Sorry?" Gavi's head shot up immediately and he sat up in the dark room. He turned to look at you while you just looked up at the ceiling.

"What did you say?" Gavi put his hand on your arm and you turned your gaze to face him.

"I was a virgin" You mumbled quietly and Gavi's jaw dropped. He looked away for a few seconds and then back to you.

"I took your virginity?" He asked while you slowly nodded his head. He stood up and started walking around the room while his left hand was in his hair and his right covering his mouth.

"If you would've told me i would've never slept with you" Gavi turned around to face you who was now also sitting up on the bed.

"Exactly" You mumbled and Gavi looked at you with a shocked expression, everything else was quiet in the house, only the two of you talking.

"Yeah but babe you can't just not tell me, you're supposed to have the first time with someone you love and trust." Gavi's voice broke in the middle of the sentence since he was talking a bit louder now. You just prayed that nobody would accidentally overhear something.

"You're matching the acquirements." You answered shortly and then turned around in the bed again. Gavi's jaw dropped and he looked at the back of your head.

"You can't go to sleep now, we need to talk." Gavi walked to the side of the bed and looked at you, your eyes were looking at the floor, trying to ignore him standing infront of you. It became difficult when he kneeled down.

"Babe we need to talk." Gavi said in a serious voice. You did genuinely see the concern in his face.

"Leave me alone Gavi, I wanna sleep." You hummed while your throat hurt. You were about to cry and Gavi also noticed by your voice shaking.

"You can't just say something like this and then go to sleep." Gavi mumbled loudly, he was so energetic in the moment, that just completely woke him up.

"Or what? You're gonna fuck some slut right before my eyes again?" You shot back and Gavi's eyes widened a bit.

"I-" Gavi was speechless and in loss for words. He didn't know what to say. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?" Gavi asked, ignoring the question and leaned forward a little bit.

"Oh yeah Gavi, you want me to tell you, the absolute fuckboy whose bodycount is over 60 that I have feelings for you?" You sat up and asked that loudly. You felt stupid for even telling him, now he won't leave you alone.

"I stopped, I havent seen anyone in 2 weeks." Gavi mumbled and scratched the back of his head. Everytime neither of you talked, there was an awkward silence in the room, not to speak about the tension which was growing every second that passed.

"Am i supposed to be proud of you now?" You raised your eyebrows while you asked in a cocky tone.

The midfielder turned his gaze away from you for a second before his head shot back to face you. "Let me make it up to you"

You looked at him confused but still angrily. "What and how?"

"Let's pretend you're still a virgin and let us go again." Gavi suggested. You were about to loose your mind.

"Didn't you say that it has to be someone who loves me?" Gavi stayed quiet after you said that. "Is it just for you to fuck me again?"

"No, I'm gonna make love to you, with aftercare, you deserve to have a normal first time, not the one I gave you. So let's forget it." Your stomach twisted at his words and you almost started sobbing.

"No, you don't love me so what's the point." You asked and Gavi looked away for a second again.

"But-"

"Gavi just shut up and let me sleep, you're a dick, can't change anythung about that." With that you turned around and closed your eyes. Gavi left you alone and just got next to you into bed, careful not to touch you.

The next day by the time you woke up, Gavi was already downstairs talking to the others.

You got ready upstairs and just as you made sure that you looked completely okay, you went downstairs.

Pedri, Fermin, Gavi, Sira, Ferran, Javi and Aurora were sitting at the table, chatting ro eachother. Some of them turned their heads when they heard you coming, but Aurora's and Sira's face filled with a smile immediatly. Sira waved you over and you sat down at the empty chair next to Aurora and Sira placed a plate of eggs and bread infront of you immediately.

"Gavi go and make her a shake." Aurora yelled over to her brother and she caught him looking at you, she however decided to ignore it since he isn't suspicious for looking at people.

"How did you sleep?" Sira asked and you just gave her a thumbs up while your eyes followed Gavi who walked over to the kitchen. That house was still so big and it's so freaking annoying that there weren't enough rooms. Your attention shifted to Aurora again as soon as she pulled out her phone to check today's program.

"Okay so, we're going on a yacht today as you already know I think," Aurora began to explain and Sira nodded her head. However you looked at Aurora confused.

"I didn't know but okay." You mumbled.

"Yeah, we're going on a yacht and then we'll go swimming and today evening we'll go and eat at a fancy restaurant." Aurora said and Sira smiled while nodding her head.

"That means we're going to wear those awesome dresses we brought for a reason." Sira smiled even brighter and you couldn't help but smile too.

After that you went upstairs to get ready and pack your things for the yacht. You went into the bathroom and wore your bikini underneath the shirt and the shorts you were going in.

While you walked out the bathroom, ready to go, you saw Gavi getting changed. His shirt was in his hand and he was shirtless, you however tried to not look at him and walked out the door.

After that you sat into the car with Aurora again and the others were going in the other car.

When you arrived at the yacht, Ferran had already spoken to the owner you rented it from. So then you all got on board and you girls at first went inside while the boys were outside.

"This is huge tho" Sira looked around and you nodded your head as you explored the inside.

"Let's go outside and check it out too." You said and you slid the glass door to the side to access the outside of the boat.

After you looked at everything you put on sunscreen and then sat down on the couch inside.

You pulled out your phone and started checking youe messages while everyone was outside having fun.

Suddenly you heard someone come inside. "Come outside." A shirtless Gavi was standing over you, looking down at you while you were facing his crotch.

"Mhm, in a second." Without even looking up at him you said that.

"In a second my ass." Suddenly Gavi lifted up your hips and put them on his shoulder. You quickly threw your phone on the couch.

"Gavi put me down" You cried as you couldn't help but laugh nervously at the same time. Your fists kept hitting his back but he wouldn't stop walking. So as he got out to the back of the yacht where Javi and Fermin were sitting they both laughed at you.

"Ay Hermano let that poor girl down." Fermin told Gavi who turned around and smiled at Fermin.

"Let her down you said?" Gavi asked and turned around, in that moment he gripped your hips and you felt yourself fall into the water a few seconds later.

Swimming up to the surface you looked up at Gavi who was laughing down at you, you couldn't help but smile a bit as he held his hand towards you to pull you out.

Then you grabbed his hand with both of yours and pulled him into the water, so then as quickly as possible you got on the yacht again and started running up the stairs where the sunbeds were.

Gavi left you alone after that because he thought he deserved it. Atleast you thought so, because a few seconds after you sat down and exchanged a few words with Aurora and Sira, Gavi also came up the stairs.

You fell back into the sunbed and looked at him come towards you while you crossed your arms.

He then put his right knee on the sunbed on your left side. He came super close to you as he was on his knees over you, his hands gripping the oart where you're supposed to lean back.

Sira and Aurora were watching, their mouths slightly fell open. That was until you gave Aurora that "help me" look.

She stood up and patted Gavi's shoulder.

"Hermano get off of her. Come on." She mumbled and Gavi moved his gaze from looking at his sister, to you one last time.

So he did, he went back to the boys again, and after you looked at Sira and Aurora their eyes were widened.

"Okay what was that?" They asked while the water was still dripping from your hair.

"I have no idea." You lied and then laid down on the sunbed comfortably.

About 30 minutes later of you enjoying the sun with the girls, Gavi's voice was heard again. You opened your eyes and saw that he was wet, water dripping from his hair.

Then Ferran and Pedri also appeared next to him. They were all wet, you assumed that they just came out of the water.

"Don't you dare come near me" You told them and walked over to the huge couch covered in matresses, then closed your eyes again, however as soon as you did that Gavi smiled at Pedri and at Ferran and sneaked closer to you quietly. He then quickly laid down on top of you and your eyes immediately shot open.

"Gavi, get off of me." You mumbled as you tried to push him off by his shoulders. However he didn't move an inch but instead he rolled over onto the other matress so that you were now on top of him. His hands wrapped around you tightly so that you had no space to escape, after a while you just gave up.

"Can you get off of me now?" You asked Gavi after 2 minutes and he nodded his head. He then sat down next to you and you fixed your bikini awkwardly.

Gavi looked down on the floor while the others were having their own conversations.

He thought about you sitting next to him, his head was a mess since yesterday. Cause ever since you mentioned that he didn't love you, he couldn't help but notice how pretty you actually were, how pretty your smile was, how funny you were and how you always bring up the mood.

He looked at you every chance he could and sometimes he caught himself daydreaming about you.

He didn't know why this was happening so suddenly, but Aurora pulled him out of his thoughts suddenly. He daydreamed again.

"You wanna come and eat?" His sister asked him, he nodded his head while he pushed himself off of the couch, he didn't even notice that you already went inside the yacht.

So Gavi was thoughtfull and quiet the next four days, until you were all sitting in a fancy restaurant.

You had to sit next to Gavi since that was the only empty seat when you arrived.

You put your hand against your forehead and groaned silently. All of you had already finished the food a while ago. So you groaning caught Gavi's attention.

"Are you okay?" He leaned closer to you while he whispered in a quiet voice.

"I don't feel good." You mumbled and Gavi lifted up his hand and pressed it against your forehead.

"You don't have a fever" He mumbled and you only shrugged your shoulders. "You wanna go home? I'll go with you." Gavi stood up without even waiting for you to answer. So you immediately also pushed back the chair and then all eyes were on you.

"I'm not feeling too well, we're gonna go home." You told everyone and they didn't mind. So you and Gavi walked home since it was only like 10 minutes, as soon as you arrived and went to your room, you laid down and held your head.

"Can we talk?" Gavi asked and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"About" You sat up to look at Gavi fidgeting with his hands after he sat up.

"I've been thinking about you," He paused while he admitted. "a lot..."

"About me?" You raised your eyebrows and then he nodded his head while he made eye contact. Every noticed that drastic change in Gavi's character. The way his ego wasn't so high, he wasn't as arrogant as he was before and he wasnt as cocky as he used to be.

You also noticed it but you thought that he just couldn't survive without his one night stands.

"I think I have developed some kind of romantic feelings for you." Gavi's mouth fell slightly open but you just stared at him.

"No, don't do that Gavi, I know you're just horny and want to make it up to me, or make it seem like it." You stood up and began walking around the room.

"No, no, Y/n I swear, I'm serious. I have never ever felt something like this before." Gavi also stood up and grabbed your arms, holding you in one place.

"Can you prove it?"

"I'll take you out, on a date. Whenever you want." Gavi suggested and you looked at the floor for a couple of seconds.

"Fine. Good, but wait till we're home."

So he did wait, after you arrived home from Ibiza, almost immediately the text message from Gavi came in.

"The day after tomorrow, does seven pm sound good?" You read the text out loud and then threw your head back before texting back a quick. "Okay"

The day after tomorrow came by quicker than you would've thought. Soon you were anxiously walking around in your apartment, waiting for Gavi's text that he was there to pick you up.

As soon as your phone lit up you went down and saw Gavi's black audi standing in front of your apartment complex.

Opening the door you sat inside and was met with Gavi's smile. "Hey" He smjled as he scanned your body. "You look beautiful."

"Thank you" You tried so hard not to blush as you looked outside your window to avoid eye contact.

"Are you ready for our date?" Gavi asked after a while, he was driving fairly outside the city by now until he arrived at a restaurant.

"Yeah, kinda." Was the only thing you answered to that question. It was kind of awkward as of by now.

"Wait" Gavi told you before getting out of the car, he slammed the door shut and walked over to your side. He opened the door for you and gave you his hand to step out, which was definitely not needed but you acceptdd anyways. His hand was warm and soft, you didnt let it go after, but instead he interlocked his fingers with yours and locked the car meanwhile.

While the two of you walked over to the restaurant it was silent.

"Hey, we have a reservation for Pablo Gavira" Gavi said as the waiter came up to you to the door.

The whole evening you two laughed and talked to eachother. It felt like you already knew eachother 4 years.

And about 5 more dates and long long face time calls, Gavi asked to meet you. Although Pedri and his other friends were pretty shocked when they found out that he's going on dates. Gavi didn't tell them who.

"Why are you so smiley Pablito?" Pedri asked as Gavi walked into the locker room with a huge grin on his face.

"I have a date today." Gavi said proudly and sat down infront of his locker. That also grabbed Balde's, Ferran and Fermins attention. It was awfully quiet as Pedri's jaw dropped at the words.

"A date? You? Good joke." Ferran laughed and Gavi shook his head while looking up at Pedri first and then at Ferran.

"I'm serious, I'm thinking about asking her to be my girlfriend today." Gavi smiled and Pedri couldn't help but grin a bit.

"When are we gonna meet her?" Pedri asked but Fermin shook his head.

"Nonono, are we talking about the Gavi who has one night stands every other day and fucks girls like it's in his daily routine? You're telling me you caught real romantical feeling for someone?" Fermin walked closer to Gavi.

"Yeah" He smiled.

"That's insane, we need to meet her. She changed your fuckboy mindset. She's a witch!" Fermin joked and there was laughter heard in the locker room.

"You'll meet her if she says yes. You'll see me with her then." Gavi smiled.

That evening he invited you over to his house from where you could watch over whole Barcelona and watch the sunset.

It was the first time he actually invited you over to his. You have never been in his house before. So you were excited as you stepped onto the doorstep and rung the bell.

"Hey" He opened the door with a smile.

"Hello, how are you?" You stepped into the house and he pulled you into a quick side hug.

"You want to cook something?" He walked into the kitchen and leaned against the counter while looking at you.

"You know how to cook?" You joked and raised your brows.

"Of course, what would the madam prefer?" Gavi asked. You two then decided on some simple dish like spaghetti. You were in charge of the noodles and Gavi insisted on making the sauce.

Whilw you two laughed and talked in the kitchen, you noticed that Gavi changed a lot.

If you would've compared him to the Gavi he was two months ago, he's a complete different man.

He's way more talkative and he also opened up to you. He doesn't tell many people what he tells you. He also lost that constant angry expression he had on his face.

You also noticed that something in his eyes changed. Maybe you were hallucinating because you were so in love with him, but you were sure that something changed.

So after you two ate, he dragged you outside to the back of his house.

The garden was huge with a huge pool in the middle of it. You stood to the glass fence that went around his house and looked at the sunset. Gavi stood next to you and what you didn't notice was that he wasn't looking at the sunset but at you.

He scamned every feature of your face, the way your eyes squinted together a bit as the wind blew into your face.

"So I think we need to talk." Gavi then gathered the strength and you turned your head towards him.

"Mhm?" You hummed and your heart was beating like crazy.

"I told you in Ibiza that I like you, a lot. However you said I need to proove it to you, and I definitely prooved to myself that I do have romantical feelings for you. And I want to know if it's still the same for you. So will you be my girlfriend?" Gavi cringed at himself. He never had to ask anyone out before so he had no idea what to think of your smile after he finished.

"I would love to be your girlfriend." You smiled and Gavi couldn't help but chuckle as a huge grin covered his face.

He opened up his arms as you walked into them. You tightened your arms around him as you felt the wind blowing your hair to the side.

-

"When is she coming?" Pedri asked, the team met up at Pedri's house. At least a few of the players went there, not everyone.

"Soon, don't worry." Gavi smiled as everyone looked at him.

"I also invited over Y/n she should also be here in a couple of minutes." Pedri then adds to which Gavi only smiles and focuses on his phone.

A few minutes later you arrive, happily walking into Pedri's house where you found the guys sitting on the sofa.

"Hello!" You smiled at all of them and they all greeted you. You stood infront of the sofa where everyone saw you.

"I thought you were Gavi's girlfriend. I already got excited." Ferran joked and Gavi sighed deeply before standing up.

You saw him grinning at you as he stepped infront of you and wrapped his arm around his waist. His lips met yours and as he pulled away, he stood next to you, arm still wrapped around your waist as you looked at all the shocked faces.

"Okay what?!" Fermin laughed and eased up the tension in the room.

"This is my girlfriend, I dont think I need to interduce the guys to you." Gavi stood next to you proudly and looked at you at the end of his sentence.

"This is shocking. But I'm happy for you two." Pedri smiled and then you nodded your head.

"Thank you."

And so it happened more frequently that you ended uo sleeping at Gavi's place. The more you two have been together, the more times you slept at his house than in your own. You two loved to have early showers together before he had to leave for practice and you for uni.

So one day you two were making out in bed and you smiled against Gavi's lips as he groped your ass and started sliding down your shorts a bit.

"You wanna do it?" You asked as you sat up on his waist.

"Yeah, but can we pretend like it's your first time? I wanna make it up to you." Gavi asked in all seriousness and you nodded your head in agreement.

So as the two of you undressed eachother, he took every opportunity to make you a compliment or just kiss any part of your body.

As he pushed inside you gently, he made sure to always ask. "Are you okay?" Gavi looked at you with a worried look. You nodded your head as he began to slowly move his hips back and fourth.

You felt his tip already grazing your g-spot and you let out a rather loud whimper. He noticed it and leaned forward to connect his lips with yours while he began thrusting into you a bit faster.

"Fuck, yeah." You moaned as you had to detach your lips and his. Even tho you moaning into his mouth made it arguably easier for him to cum but he made you want to come first.

"I love you, youre so beautiful." He began to kiss your body, wherever he could reach while pounding you into his bed. After a while he began to rub your clit and you arched your back up against, he did that until your legs start shaking like crazy.

Gavi then lifted up your right leg and put it over his own shoulder. That allowed him to reach even deeper. You didn't even last 5 minutes in that position.

You clenched hard around him and he sent you into over sensitivity by him rubbing your clit. As he pulled out of you, he started rubbing his tip against your clit awhile pumping his hand up and down his dick and eventually coming over your stomach.

You were still in a shock state, your legs still spread wide open and Gavi standing over them as he was breathing heavily.

You gathered a bit of your strenght and propped yourself up on your shoulder. Gavi looked at you, so you decided to tease him.

You reached your finger down to your stomach and scooped up a bit of his cum, putting it into your mouth.

"Joder" He mumbled as he let his head hang low again. Then he scooped you up pretty easily and carried you to the shower.

"After this we're going back to dominant sex. I need to let my dick out again." Gavi smiled while you just shook your head and got into the shower.

"Try thinking with your brain and not your dick. That helps." You gave him a sarcastic smile to which he slapped your butt.

"Pssst babe, we both know you're a bottom, accept it." he told you while he turned on the water and you took a step back.

"Yeah you shush or I'm gonna cut of your dick." As soon as you said that Gavi burst out laughing and threw his head back.

You just shook your head as you stood below the water. The warm water running down your body felt good, your skin was all sticky and sweaty.

"You know I love you right?" Gavi wrapped his arms around you from behind and started kissing your neck.

"I love you too, do you know that?" You turned around to face him. He kissed your lips as you both were now standing below the water.

Both of you shared a long and passionate kiss with eachother. It was hard tdying to shower when you two couldnt get enough of eachother.

But you somehow managed to finish and then changed and went to bed. As the two of you were laying in silence, Gavi's arms wrapped around tightly from behind, he suddenly spoke up.

"Did you enjoy it though?" Gavi whispered, not sure if you were asleep or not.

"I did, thank you." You whispered back to which Gavi leaned forward to kiss your neck again.

You turned your body around so that you were able to face him. You smiled as you looked at him.

"You hated me because I tackled you." You reminded him while you laughed. Gavi scoffed and covered his face with his hands.

"It was a big blow for my ego, okay?" He said in his defence but you shook your head while laughing.

"Okay okay, how many women have you slept with before?" You asked out of curiosity, but Gavi gave you a weird look.

"But you won't get mad?" He raised his eyebrows to which you only shook your head. "Okay so I had this system, I didn't just sleep with random women or girls. I had 34 models or just influencers who were famous themselves, whenever I wanted to fuck them, I called and they agreed immediately. After I was done, I immediately left and then ignored them for a month. I never slept with any girl twice a month." Gavi explained and you smiled at his words.

"That is sick, so you had sex every day?" You smiled a bit while you asked.

"Not every day, but most days. Pedri was always scolding me for how I can concentrate on sex and football at the same time." Gavi couldn't help but smile as he saw your face.

You knew that he was sleeping with other women. Many articles said that he was a bit of a player but you never actually heard him talking about it.

The only people that knew about Gavi's player era, were Pedri and now you.

"You know what saying I believe in?" you sat up and moved a strand of Gavi's hair on the side of his forehead.

"Hm?" He hummed as he ooked at you with eyes full of love.

"There'll always be a reason why you meet people.

Either you need to change your life,

or you're the one that'll change theirs."

[adascore]

Distraction | L. Oberdorf

pairing: lena oberdorf x girlfriend!reader

warnings: uni work lol. kissing.

author's note: inspired by lena’s tiktok with lea :) the cutest duo, cant wait to see them play together at bayern.

masterlist

''Obi, I just need to finish this. Give me a few more minutes.''

''No, I've been waiting for too long.''

This was how it had been for the past hour, Lena trying to coax her girlfriend into giving up her university work to watch a movie with her, but the midfielder hadn't had much success so far.

Y/N sighed loudly. ''I am almost done, I promise.''

''You have been saying that for an hour now, babe, I am bored.'' She retorted, her frustration evident as she tried to sneakily grab her girlfriend's laptop, only to have her hands swatted away.

''Off, Oberdorf! I swear…''

''I just want to watch a movie with my girlfriend, that can't be much to ask.'' Lena continued whining, clinging onto her partner like a koala.

Y/N would have normally chuckled at her antics, if it wasn't interrupting her task to review an important chapter that would be covered in her class the next day. ''And I just want to review this stupid chapter, that can't be much to ask.'' She mocked the German, imitating Lena's facial expression.

The Wolfsburg player begrudgingly removed herself from her girlfriend's body, settling on the other side of the couch with a loud huff. Though she hoped her dramatic display would garner sympathy from Y/N, she soon realized that her partner was too engrossed in her studies to pay her much attention.

As the student continued to read through the assigned academic text, she heard some faint audio coming from her girlfriend's phone. However, she decided to simply ignore it and get through the grueling reading she had to do.

But as Lena turned up the volume of her device, the sound became increasingly louder, disrupting Y/N's concentration. She would have been more tolerant if it weren't for the fact that the same part of the song was being repeated over and over again.

She cast a glance towards the footballer, not looking particularly happy as she had to pause her activity again. ''Obi, what are you doing?''

''Making a TikTok.'' She answered, mumbling as she was focused on her phone.

''Can you do that in another room, please?'' Y/N asked, trying to not let her frustration be too audible in her voice.

Lena shook her head. ''No, I really need to do it in here.''

Y/N furrowed her eyebrows at the response, sending a pointed look in Lena's direction. Despite her irritation, she remained rooted to the couch, unwilling to give in to her disruption by relocating to another room.

About a minute later, she saw in her peripheral vision how Lena held up the phone in the air, seemingly filming the pair on the couch.

''Obi…'' She warned her partner, but Lena continued lip syncing to the audio, though she moved the camera back so she was only filming herself.

Y/N let out a breath of relief when the music stopped, her annoyance slowly withering away.

After what felt like an eternity, she finally closed her laptop, her reading session complete. With a stretch and a satisfied sigh, she pushed herself up from her spot on the couch and made her way over to Lena's side.

''I'm done, what movie do you wanna watch?'' She asked the midfielder, laying her head on Lena's shoulder.

Lena gave her a grumpy look, acting as if she didn't want anything to do with her at that moment. Y/N could see the cracks of a smile beginning to form at the corners of her lips, though her girlfriend was trying really hard to suppress it. ''Don't know…'' She muttered in an innocent tone, pretending she hadn't been whining for the past hour.

Y/N placed a gentle kiss on her neck, a smirk on her face. ''Too bad, maybe my other girlfriend would love to watch a film with me.'' She teased, continuing to peck her neck and collarbones.

Lena swallowed, her facade slowly falling apart. ''Hmm, maybe. Or do you keep her waiting as well?''

Her partner chuckled, her fingers tracing gentle patterns on Lena's arm. ''She doesn't mind being patient, it's what I love about her so mu-''

''Okay, that's enough! Let's watch that new romantic comedy I told you about.'' Lena interrupted, playfully pushing Y/N away from her, before wrapping her arms around her and attacking her face with kisses.

Y/N grinned, amused by Lena's subtle jealousy over a nonexistent person. ''Nice.''

Lena's hand found its way onto her girlfriend's thigh, while Y/N nestled into her side, resting her head on the German's shoulder once again. ''Comfy?'' Lena asked, glancing down with a soft smile.

Y/N nodded. ''Always.'' She responded, briefly lifting Lena's hand up from her thigh and pressing a quick kiss to her knuckles.

While Lena searched for the film on their tv, Y/N remembered the video she had been filming while she still had been busy with reading. ''What were you filming earlier, by the way?''

''Oh,'' Lena laughed, recalling the TikTok she had made. She retrieved her phone out of her pocket, opening said social media app. ''This.''

The footballer put the screen in front of her, the text on the video reading: Me when my girlfriend has to do uni work instead of watching a movie with me.

''Obi, that's such an unflattering angle!'' Y/N exclaimed, watching herself in the short video.

''What are you talking about, you look cute!'' Lena protested, zooming in on her form, clearly not seeing anything wrong with it.

Her girlfriend rolled her eyes, but let it go. ''You're gonna post that?'' She curiously inquired.

Lena shrugged her shoulders. ''Only if you're fine with it. People always ask me to make more TikToks with you.'' She answered.

''It's okay- you gotta give the people what they want.'' Y/N winked, leaning forward to place a kiss on Lena's cheek.

''True,'' the midfielder blushed, ''and I want to watch a movie with you now.'' She diverted from the topic, putting the phone back where it came from.

''What Obi wants, Obi gets.'' Y/N teasingly added.

Lena gave her a side glance. ''After an hour…''

''Oh, don't ruin the vibes!''

[wonustars]

𝘋𝘰 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘙𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘛𝘪𝘮𝘦 ? (Teaser)

𖦹 pairing: yoon jeonghan x reader 𖦹 wordcount: 15k+ (this teaser: 643 words)

𖦹 genre: enemies to roommates to lovers, slowburn, angst, fluff, smut (mdni 18+) (none in this teaser though)

𖦹 summary: your first day at your new university you spill coffee on an unsympathetic asshole. unfortunately for you that unsympathetic asshole becomes your roommate. 𖦹 in other words: you and jeonghan get off on the wrong foot, but through forced proximity and a snow day in due to a storm, you learn that your roommate is more than just the campus playboy.

𖦹 tags: non-idol!au, uni!au, e2l!jeonghanxreader, campusplayboy!jeonghan, roommate!jeonghan, afab!reader, bestfriend!booseoksoon, joshua is jeonghan's accomplice in everything, reader is the only one who knows how to cook, jeonghan is king of the sassy man apocolypse. (more will be added in the full fic) 𖦹 smut tags/warnings will be added in the full post.

𖦹 taglist form. you can also comment or send an ask but the form is preffered! :) thank u

𖦹 note: this jeonghan fic idea has been cooking in my head for a longgggg while now. idk when it'll be out but cosidering i'll have more down time, i'd say by the end of this month? but it really depends so sorry in advance if i take longer than that lol. i've also decided to make a google form for anyone who wants to be added to the tag list (you must be 18+ though, and i will check if your age is in your bio), as well as a permanent one if you'd like! anyways see you all soon! mwah - anna.

Read More Here.

You hate Yoon Jeonghan. The moment you met him, you hated him.

It had taken you about ten seconds to get on his bad side. All it took was a cup of iced coffee and a random bump in the sidewalk. In the blink of an eye, your freshly made latte had become a wet coffee-coloured stain on Jeonghan’s bright white shirt. Mortified, you apologized profusely, not knowing what else to do.

Everything happened so fast, that you didn’t even realize you were tripping and then spilling your drink onto him. 

“What the fuck is your problem?” He spits at you, his eyes cold as ice. 

Your cheeks heat up fast, and you’re stuttering your words all over the place. To say the least, you felt bad, you haven’t even been here for more than 24 hours and you were already fucking up badly. Just a few hours ago you were ready to start fresh, starting a new semester at the University you transferred to from your hometown. 

Looking back up at the man who was currently staring you down, you begin to take napkins out of your bag to wipe his shirt. A yelp escapes your lips once you feel him slap your hand away from his chest. 

“I said what the fuck is your problem?” He repeats himself, the fire in his eyes flaming against the light of the afternoon sun. 

“I’m sorry, I tripped and-” You begin to explain yourself but he cuts you off, not wanting to hear your sorry excuse of an explanation. 

“I don’t care that you tripped, you spilt your drink on me.” He seethes, clenching his jaw as he talks. 

Now you’re equally as pissed as him, you stare at him for a second trying to see if he’s joking because he couldn’t be serious right now. Quickly, you realize that he is indeed not joking, if anything he’s more serious than you were when you told your parents you were moving away. 

“I’m sorry I spilt my drink but it was an honest mistake. It’s a stain, you can wash your shirt.” You scoff at him, unbelievable, you thought. As you roll your eyes, you watch him get red in the face with anger. 

Jeonghan is a lot more frustrated now that you’re giving him attitude, after the fact that you were the one to stain his clothes.  His fists begin to ball at his sides, who does this girl think she is, he asks himself.

“You’ve got a lot of nerve. You can’t just talk to me that way.” It was his turn to scoff at you, this petty fight between the two of you not going anywhere. 

You look him up and down, you could take him in a fight if it came down to it, or at least that's what you like to tell yourself. His body is a lot on the slimmer side, his looks seem to be his only redeeming quality. Long-haired, with long eyelashes, he was a pretty boy, you’ll admit that much. Yet his personality is not in harmony with his looks, and you found it to be quite surprising. How can someone so good-looking be so spiteful? 

“Too bad, I’ve already apologized and tried to make up for my actions. Didn’t Mommy tell you life isn’t always fair?” You mockingly pout up at him as he towers over you. Before Jeonghan could come up with a rebuttal, you walk past him, purposefully knocking your shoulder with his.

“Hey! I wasn’t done with you! You’ll regret this day!” He shouts at your figure as you walk away from the scene. As you walk away you pray to the gods that this is the last you’ll see of the long-haired pretty boy. 

Little did you know, your prayers had done the opposite of what you asked.

© wonustars

𝄒𓏲࣪ . ⩇⩇ 𝄒 𖥻 a/n: my bad all, ik it's another uni au please dont hate me T-T. i promise i'll do something different next time BUTTTT i'm literally only about 1.5k words in but i'm already excited to share it with you all! please look forward to it :)))

[uc1wa]

We got uni!dick x virgin!fem!reader (delicious writing btw) but what about frat boy! or uni!jason x virgin!fem!reader 👀?

unlike his older brother, jason is cool, calm, and collected. jason takes his time with you—not because he wants to, but because he knows as soon as he makes the first move, he’ll have you like a bee to honey. he’s confident in himself and in your attraction towards him, but it doesn’t drip off of him the way it does with dick.

instead, jason pulls you in with small touches. using knuckles to push your hair behind your shoulder, hand resting on your thigh when he’s helping you study, getting close enough that he can smell the lingering coffee on your breath but doesn’t dare to kiss you.

it’s like a game to him. hell, what type of frat brother would he be if girls weren’t more than a game to him?

when he’s asking you about guys one day, asking you about his fraternity brother, roy, and the way you got real close to him at the last kickback he invited you to, it’s only strategy to figure out just how many bodies you have.

the words ‘virgin’ leave your lips, and jason eggs you on to say exactly what he wants you to say.

"what would make you wanna lose it? i’m not gonna believe you if you’re a ‘wait ‘till marriage’ type of girl," he snickers, his chin sitting in the palm of his hand as he sits backward on a spinning chair. big thighs on either side of the back of the seat.

the question makes you laugh, "haven’t found a guy I liked enough," you smile through your lashes, and jason doesn’t miss the shy look to the side you give your wall before meeting his eyes once more.

"ya haven’t?" jason questions. not out of self-consciousness, but more-so to play into what you want to hear. "don’t you think you’ll be embarrassed to tell the guy who you decide to fuck that you’re a virgin? some guys don’t like that," he huffs like it’s nothing. but now your brows furrow, and your head tilts to the side.

"guys don’t like virgins? i thought guys usually like when girls are virgins," a nervous laugh slips past your lips, and he has you right where he wants you. he nods, "most of my brothers hate when they have to fuck a virgin. they have to be patient and nice and all that. they’d rather fuck somebody with a little experience."

jason’s lying through white teeth. guys like him love a tight pussy, but he loves it just a little more than all the other guys. he craves the purity that reeks from you, craves knocking off the invisible halo from the crown of your head with a nice, good, first fuck.

"y'know, i could always show you how to have sex. won't make anything weird, promise," jason offers with a cock of his brow, words falling off his tongue like it's a casual conversation. like he's fucked hundreds of people, well... because he has, but you haven't.

"are you sure it wouldn't be, like... weird?" you ask with a rapidly increasing heartbeat, nervousness taking over your senses. it's hard to meet the dark eyes that haven't left yours; overwhelming intensity felt under his gaze, your skin heatening while jason barely bats an eye.

a genuine and sweet smile spread across his lips. "i've had hookups before, y'know i don't linger hard on girls. plus, you're my friend. I won't make things weird," jason begins stepping out of the seat he's sat in, making his way with heavy steps towards the edge of the bed until he's looking down at your form.

a hand rests on your thigh, and not another question is asked. jason leads you to lay down, takes your pretty panties off, and shamelessly shoves them in his pocket without a second thought. he's spreading your legs with ease, but it's when you're singing sweet moans on his big cock that he's oh-so grateful to have you as a friend.

this is what friendship is all about, right? luring your sweet virgin friend to your cock 'till she comes back drooling.

[space-mango-company]

Stranger | Chapter 3

Chapter Links: [1], [2], [3], [4], [5]

TW: none for this one, I think

Tags: Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x Atreides!Reader, Arranged Marriage, Eventual Smut, POV Second Person, No use of y/n, Original Characters, Canon What Canon

Word Count: 1.4k

A/N: Unedited for now! Holy moly, sorry for taking so long on this one. I was kinda drowning in uni work the past week. The next chapter should come sooner, I hope. Also just wanted to say thank you so much to those who take the time to comment!! I really really appreciate the kind words. You guys are super sweet. Mwa mwa.

The inky black fireworks exploded in the distance as you were led back into the underground chambers of the arena. Your eyes are relieved to escape the infrared sun. Heavy doors open for you once more. The na-Baron stands, chest exposed, skin slick with sweat under the artificial light. His blown-out eyes hone in on you as you enter. He makes his way to you holding the blood-stained handkerchief.

"Did you enjoy the show, my lady?" His chest heaves and you feel his heavy breaths as he leans into your ear, voice even more raspy, "Aren't you something, little hawk."

He holds the cloth up as if giving it to you but when you reach for the handkerchief he snatches it away.

You sigh and lift your veil, a sweet smile plastered on your face, "A most impressive demonstration, na-Baron. You are as formidable as they say."

Feyd-Rautha takes a moment to scan your face. He doesn't know what your game is but he wants to play.

His breathing has settled. He raises a hand to reach for your cheek but you move past him. You walk towards a table displaying knives laid over a cloth. You pick one up to examine. The blades remain uncleaned, the blood from earlier in the day already beginning to dry. You sense they will be kept that way.

"You have good form. Clean, precise," you say, holding the dagger in a reverse grip, edge out. "You enjoy it, don't you?"

From behind, you feel Feyd-Rautha close the distance between you once again.

"Perhaps you enjoy it a little too much," you turn to him, "I'm sure you let him disarm you on purpose. For the show."

Feyd-Rautha tilts his head and allows himself a small smile. "You should return to the fortress, my lady. I have duties to attend to," he touches your armed hand and gently takes the knife from you, "and my uncle would like to see you."

Despite being shielded from the black sun, you elect to keep your veil for your lunch with the Baron. You excuse the chill running down your spine as the coldness of the high, stony walls of Fortress Harko as Iassa escorts you to the dining hall. Iassa kept her head bowed, you noticed, hands folded in front of her. She didn't need to look ahead to know the way.

When you arrive, large doors open to the sight of the Baron floating at the head of the table. There was only one other seat at the side of the table a few feet from him. Despite that, there was a full spread of food which his servants were already feeding him.

You had done your best to avoid the Baron in your short time here, but it seems this meeting was inevitable.

"Lady Atreides," his eyes turn toward you lazily. "Come. Eat."

"Good afternoon, Baron," you curtsy as you enter. Iassa bows to you and waits outside. You take your seat, "will it only be us, my lord? This seems a lavish spread for only two people."

"Are you calling me a glutton, girl?" he spats.

Your heart takes a beat as you try not to stare at his grotesquely large body.

"We are Harkonnen," his husky laugh rings through the room. "We may lavish as much as we please."

You exhale the breath you were holding and let out a small laugh. Of course. They were the richest house in the Landsraad. The Harkonnens must be accustomed to excess.

"Soon, child, you will be Harkonnen as well," he says in that gravelly voice that is so uncomfortably similar to Feyd-Rautha's. "Is that what you want?"

The question takes you aback. No one has ever asked you this question before. This betrothal has been decided for so long, you've never even thought to ask the question yourself. It was all you'd known. Your duty. You had never bothered to imagine what your life would have been if you weren't destined to marry the Harkonnen heir.

You regain your composure, "Baron, it is my honor to unite our Great-"

"Drop the act, child!" he barks. "Perhaps you fear me, but if you are to become 'family', I will not have the patience for charades. Speak plainly. Do you want to marry my nephew?"

This has been a most unusual exchange. At least compared to what you're used to. Always taught to be sweet and pleasant. You suppose you had nothing to lose, considering the Baron killing you would start an all-out war. You take a moment to think, and then a deep breath.

"I am a woman, dear Baron. There is not much for me in this life. Indeed, tales of your house's savagery are well-known throughout the systems, and in Caladan more than most. But had I not been betrothed to your nephew, I would only be married off to some other lord or count or whatever, gentler than Feyd-Rautha they may be," you swallow. "Perhaps, I could have been trained a Bene Gesserit sister. However, to become the wife of the heir to one of the most powerful houses in the known universe—there are worse fates."

The Baron stares, seemingly satisfied with your answer. He waves his servants away. "Eat, child. Waste not the food of one of the most powerful houses in the known universe."

He begins to glide towards the doors on his side of the hall and his servants scurry to lay down their forks and follow after him.

You look to the remaining servants in the dining hall, then to the mounds of food on the table. Your first dinner on Giedi Prime had felt suffocating with all the nobles around and Feyd-Rautha smugly breathing down your neck. You pile your plate high.

In your quarters, Iassa helps you out of your clothes and into a warm bath. You don't wait for her and begin scrubbing your skin with a rag yourself. Between the heat from the morning gladiator fights and your tense conversation with the Baron, you were happy to wash the sweat off your body.

"Is this alright, my lady?" Iassa is trying to wash your hair with the lightest touch, "Does it hurt you?"

"No, no. It's quite alright." You take over and she moves to begin scrubbing your legs.

You're grateful you brought bottles of your own hair soaps. You notice Iassa is intently observing how you washed your hair and you appreciate her wanting to learn. Although, you surmise she might not have a choice. Her black choker seems to stand out even more against her pale skin.

"How was your day, Iassa?" you say as you lather your hair.

She pauses in confusion. "It was quite alright, my lady," her voice is soft and polite.

"Do they treat you well?" you knew it was a futile question.

"I am property of House Harkonnen, my lady," she says as she pours more water into the grey stone bath, "I am treated appropriately."

"Yes, but do you mean appropriately as in well or appropriately as in—" your desperate attempt to make a friend seems to be slipping through your fingers. You let out an exasperated sigh, "I know it's only been a few days but, do I treat you well, Iassa?"

She takes a moment and smiles up at you, "My lady has been most gracious." You see in her eyes she means it.

"You were right about the na-Baron," you say, "he is formidable indeed."

"I'm pleased my lady was impressed," she wraps a robe around you as you rise from the bath.

"Well, I don't know about impressed," you say as you step out, "he is a decent fighter, certainly. Perhaps it is a difference in the fighting styles of our worlds."

After helping you dress, Iassa bows and leaves you to retire. Her grey robes flowing behind her.

Once alone, you find your father's dagger in your belongings. The Baron's earlier question comes back to you. Is that what you want? To marry Fayd-Rautha? That night, you sleep clutching the knife close to your heart.

When you awake the following morning, you are greeted by a servant girl bringing you breakfast.

"Where is Iassa?" you ask.

"She has been relieved, my lady," the girl looks even younger than Iassa, "I am Zora."

Your brow furrows, "What does that mean, 'relieved'?"

When Zora remains silent, you get up from the bed.

On the dark grey of your vanity, you notice a black strip of leather. A choker identical to your new servant's but it was unmistakable who it belonged to. Your mind ran through the whys and your blood began to boil.

Chapter Links: [1], [2], [3], [4], [5]

Taglist: @torchbearerkyle @austinswhitewolf @dreamlandcreations @emeraldsgirl @strawberryfieldsforevermore @bornslippys @vexis-world @aoi-targaryen @alexandrainlove

[bellewintersroe]

Sebastian Vettel x RBDesignEngineer! Reader 18+.

Set in 2013 during the GP, Jennifer is fresh out of uni and has made a name for herself within the F1 world. She joins Redbull-Renault as one of their engineer designers and easily fits into the team, forming friendships easily. Most of all, she captures the attention of three time world champion, Sebastian Vettel.

Part 10- here’s the LINK for part 9. This chapter contains smut, mentions of oral sex, protected sex (seb is an Angel ok) Seb and Jen are getting rid of some of the tension they’ve felt for months. Jen lets a little secret slip to which Sebastian finds quite embarrassing… Seb is shy🥺🥺 but also in the next few chapters I wanna explore his dominant, cocky side. I feel like this isn’t my best work but 100% more Seb smut incoming… taglist: @rainerax @peachiicherries @jaypreshpresh @mccall-muffin

Seb’s hand landed on the back of my head, deepening the kiss with just as much want and need as I offered him. My hands rested on his shoulders, the grey Red Bull hoody ever so slightly bunching up in my fingers. When I went to fall back down off my tip toes, believing the kiss was over, Sebastian dipped down, pulling me back by the waist. Our fronts pressed together as he firmly held me in place, lips moving against mine. He was bending me backwards, yanking my hips into his. I purposefully pushed forwards, hoping to feel the hard of his cock.

The kiss was getting a little too sensual to be in the hallway of a hotel, so when a family walked past, we awkwardly stood there whilst he fumbled the key card out of my pocket, clearing his throat with a head hung low. I accidentally giggled, finding myself unable to stop the burst of laughter until he closed the door behind us.

“What’re you laughing at?” He snickered himself, playfully putting a palm over my mouth, the other wrapping over my shoulders to pull me in closer again. “Just… it was funny, you were so nervous.”

“I’m not nervous.” He smiled, dropping his palm down to my chin as he caressed a finger on my skin. “No I said you were, not you are. Unless you actually are.” I rambled as he sheepishly glanced side to side.

“Now you are just putting words in my mouth.” The German squeezed my cheeks slightly as I went to argue back, but he’d kissed me, cutting my words off short. I hummed out a quick laugh, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. The laughter soon faded when he’d purposefully pulled me closer, stepping slowly until my back hit the wall gently.

The kiss was intense, our tongues were moving against one another and I felt like I couldn’t get enough. My fists balled around his jumper, pulling him closer, and when I felt the hardness in his trousers press up against my abdomen a soft moan escaped my mouth, remembering exactly what he’d been doing to himself last night. Sebastian reacted by bucking them up slightly, and I gasped, breaking the kiss, “are you ok?” He asked as I nodded, smiling back as I held his gaze.

Sebastian smiled and dipped his head, kissing down my jaw and neck. I gasped out, the intensity of his kisses making me breathless as I replayed the sounds of his moans over and over again. “Seb.” I whimpered, fingers raking through his hair. He continued his kissing as my head dropped back in utter arousal against the wall he had me up against.

“Fuck… I heard you last night.” I managed out as Seb paused, standing up a little straighter as he watched me with almost horror in his eyes.

“I-I heard you, saying mine name, everything.” His cheeks immediately warmed as I continued speaking, not wanting him to feel ashamed. “You should've come in.” I pressed myself closer to him, hands falling to his crotch where I grazed my fingers over the button on his jeans. God knows why he was wearing them when he was hungover. I kissed the corner of his lips on my tip toes, his smile widening as he held his forehead. “I am so embarrassed.”

“No, no. Don’t be.” I paused my actions, holding onto the waist of his pants instead. Sebastian swallowed, scanning my eyes. “I thought the door was shut.” He awkwardly laughed, head dropping as I meant back against the wall, swinging on his waist band ever so slightly. My pussy was throbbing thinking about him touching himself for me, I wanted to hear those moans again, I needed it.

“I didn’t realise you heard.” He laughed again, stepping a little closer. “Fuck.” He cursed, rubbing at his eyes. “It’s fine, Seb. I just… couldn’t exactly concentrate on anything else this morning.” I swallowed, maintaining eye contact with him.

“Why?” He half smirked, watching down to me, a hand planting on the wall besides me. A small shyness took over me as I giggled. “Thinking about what I heard, obviously.” I glanced at him up and down as he stepped closer, kissing my forehead before meeting my lips once again.

“Don’t be embarrassed.” I hushed, Seb hummed gently against my mouth. “I liked it.” I hushed as he let out a soft groan, sliding his hand down from the wall, to the back of my neck to kiss me with a stronger need, practically moaning against my mouth. My fingers then fumbled to undo his button, feeling a relief when I slipped his jeans down, resting my hand right over where his cock began.

“I need you.” Seb practically growled, rolling his hips into my hand, he went to make a start on my shorts, but I’d already pulled his cock free, glancing down to see his large member, rock hard in my smaller hand. We both looked down at the same time, making eye contact and smiling gently before I began stroking him slowly.

“I need you, Seb.” My voice barely reached above a whisper, feeling slightly shy as I began pleasuring him. Sebastian’s eyes fluttered shut, head falling against the wall besides me, lips pressing to the top of my head as I felt my stomach fill with butterflies.

“Have me.” His voice cracked as I let out a closed mouth moan, falling down to my knees for him at the admission. I glanced up, watching him mesmerised with me, our eyes met and I licked his tip, watching his face contort in pleasure before I wrapped my mouth around his tip, taking him in in my mouth. I hadn’t sucked anybody’s dick in so long, especially not somebody I found this attractive. I suddenly felt under pressure so I just remembered to make him as wet as possible, eventually using my hand to jerk off part of his cock I couldn’t fit down my throat.

Sebastian was breathing heavily, groaning each time I took him as far back. I tried not to gag and choke, but he was big and my gag reflex wasn’t the best. I sucked him a little more firmly, feeling his hand wrap in my hair, resting on the back of my head as he groaned, swearing out as he rested against the wall, feeling the bob of my head. “Fuck, that feels so good. You’re so good.” He grunted out followed by the sexiest groan I had ever heard. My legs tightened, feeling the desperation growing in my pussy. “Put your hands down your pants, touch yourself.” His words had me moaning around his cock. Who knew he had such a dirty mouth? I followed his instructions, moaning as I sucked a little harder, his cock muffling any noise that escaped my lips.

“Yes, yes, yes.” Sebastian’s hips bucked out as I gagged slightly. “Sorry, sorry.” He gently took hold of my chin as I pulled off with a gasp. “Are you ok?” “I’m good.” I nodded with a smile, sucking his tip as he let out a closed mouth groan, brushing my hair tenderly out of my hair. “Fuck, you could make me cum so quick.” Sebastian spoke as I giggled, allowing him to hold my head still, just in front of his cock. He pulled me up, practically lifting me off the floor as my legs wrapped around his waist. “Oh my god.” I laughed as he offered me a shy smile before kissing me with a hunger I almost couldn’t keep up to.

Sebastian eased me back onto my feet, hand stuffing under my shorts and under my thongs. I could feel the slick of my wetness against his fingers. My breath hitched as he rubbed against my clit, over my hole and eventually sliding a finger in. Sebastian had the most fucking talented fingers, he had me moaning and gasping for air in no time.

I could feel myself growing wetter and wetter as he used his other hand to rub on my clit, kissing me desperately as I whined and whimpered in his mouth, my legs shaking furiously. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum.” I gasped out the words in shock. My hips were gyrating in the movement of Sebastian’s and he was flushed in the face, mouth agape as he brought me to my peak.

“Cum, cum for me.” Sebastian muttered as I felt myself letting go, hiding my face in his shoulder as I felt the tightness in my stomach explode. My legs turned weak and I was borderline trembling, holding onto his shoulders for support as he coerced me through my orgasm. Holy fuck, no man had ever made me finish so quickly in my life.

“Fuck.” I cursed as he let out a soft throaty groan, pulling out of me gently. “Let’s get these off.” He slowly tugged at the waist of my leggings, “wait!” My eyes fell on the curtains. “Can we- can we close the curtains first?” I didn’t need any harsh, direct sunlight on me, not when I was getting naked in front of Sebastian.

“Of course.” We shared another sweet kiss, before he pulled his boxers back on, but kicked free of his jeans. When he went to close the curtains, I sat on the edge of the bed, smiling shyly down to my waist. Sebastian was slow with his movements, running a hand down my thigh before tugging at the material, freeing me of both my underwear and leggings at once. “I want to taste you.” His words were barely a whisper, but I let out a soft moan in response, feeling the warm wet kiss of his lips over my thighs. Sebastian moved forwards, pushing my legs aside slightly as he began licking at my dripping pussy. I was sensitive. My head dropped back with a slight moan as he dove deeper in, pleasuring me gently as he groaned into my core. My hand fisted at the sheets, tightening my grip around the white fabric as though I’d rip it.

“Fuck me, Seb.” I whined, hips bucking up into his mouth. He hummed against my pussy, hands smoothing over my thighs as he remained pleasuring me for a few more moments before pulling up again. “You want to?” He double checked as I nodded, perching up slightly on my elbows.

“Yeah.” I agreed. “I need ah- a condom. Fuck.”

“You don’t have any?” I watched him half naked scurry towards his suitcase, rummaging through. “I do.” He pulled one out, sitting on the edge of the bed to roll it on. He seemed nervous, a little shy- it made me feel I was losing my virginity again. Maybe that was a weird thing to think.

Sebastian climbed on top of me after discarding his t shirt to the floor. We were both completely naked now and I swallowed nervously feeling him brushing the tip of his cock against my lips. I always preferred sex raw, it felt better, but I wasn’t complaining, especially when I felt the stretch of his cock filling inside of me.

I gasped gently, Sebastian paused, lifting his head. “Is that ok?”

“Yeah, it’s good.” I nodded. Hand holding onto his arms as he pushed himself up slightly, hands on either side of me as I hummed out a gently moan when he thrusted into me. “Let me know if you want to stop.” He muttered as I pulled him down into a kiss. “I will.” After that comment we moved into the love making, Seb fucking into me as he released all the pent up sexual tension that had existed between us before. The bed squeaked beneath us and our bodies grew hotter with the movements we shared.

When he was close to climax, his hand cupped my cheek, watching back to me with a pleasured expression that almost made me feel like I was dreaming. “Fuck.” He cursed, jaw tightening before abruptly opening again and a quick moan left his mouth. “Seb.” I cooed, lifting my hips slightly.

His head dropped down besides mine, lips pressing a lingering kiss to my cheek. “I wanted you for so long.” He dirty talked. In return, my legs spread wider and I pressed my hands into his lower hips, pulling him in harder.

“Harder, Seb.” I whispered. “If I go any harder, I’ll cum.” He warned.

“I want you to.” I moaned into his ear as he let out a satisfied groan at my words, catching me off guard with another kiss before fucking his hips into me harder, faster, there was more passion. Holy shit he was good.

As he reached his climax, I could feel the tremble of his tense arms, the way his legs wriggled slightly, chasing his orgasm. His breathing became heavier and his voice was clouded by grunts and slight moans I could tell he was holding back.

“Cum for me, Seb-” was all I managed out before he came crashing down, eyes screwing shut before his hips snapped and his body was thrown into an overwhelming orgasm. I don’t know how, or why, but Sebastian reaching his peak was so hot and overwhelming that I seemed to come crashing down after him.

“Fuck.” I cursed, head lolling to the side as my chest rose and fell quickly. Seb’s body crashed down on top of me, breathing eventually slowing down from his orgasm. I imagined what it would’ve felt like if he didn’t have a condom on, the feeling of being so irreplaceably full with him.

“Sebastian.” I hummed out a quiet moan, hand running down the back of his head, as I felt his hot breaths against the crook of my neck.

“Are you ok?” He gently cooed, chest flush to my own. “Yeah… are you?” I whispered as he pressed his lips to mine, hips rolling gently, barely even there, as he milked the last of our orgasms.

“Yeah.” He sexily sighed out. The two of us glanced down as he pulled out slightly, I grimaced a little at the feeling before he kissed me several more times.

As Sebastian was pulling the condom off and discarding of it, he began speaking again. “I could’ve… lasted longer, it’s just, you were really good.” My stomach knotted at his words, I smiled back to him.

“I like it, Seb. You were good.” I shyly pulled the covers over myself, sitting up. As I watched him, I was almost in disbelief that this had actually happened.

Only weeks prior we were ‘friends’ with an undeniable attraction, I never actually thought anything would happen between us. Looking back to when I was still with my ex, compared to now, I felt like my life had done a complete 360, and I was so excited to see what else Sebastian and I could get up to…

[yutarot]

PARADISE FOUND [n.jm]

PART ONE.

wc: 7.1k

after your bestfriend, jeno, drags you to a party the night before the biggest day of the summer, you wake up too late to get there on time. but maybe the tide will wait for you - if the tide was in the form of a bleached blond surfer with a hatred for every little thing you do, and a connection that leads you back to eachother; again, and again and again.

TAGLIST - OPEN

WARNINGS: mention of alcohol/being drunk. mention of sex. depiction of near drowning/injury

DISCLAIMER: all events/portrayals of people are fake and from my imagination, in no way am i claiming that they act like this irl

PARADISE FOUND - M.LIST

it has been 11 months since you have spoken to him. 11 months of avoiding every lingering attempt of eye contact he has tried to pursue on you. and each and every month has sunk you lower and lower into a state of shock at the initial moment he broke up with you. you were a mess to put it simply.

but summer was coming back around, you would be moved from life-guarding the indoor college pool to the beach and that meant for one thing and one thing only.

you would see him again. you would see yangyang again.

“yn? ynnnnn?” your best friend calls out for you around your dorm. “girl where the fuck are you?”

giselle has been there for you every step of the way during your first year of college, giving you the guidance but also the space you need, you respect her a lot more than you ever tell her. now that you're in your second year, it makes you wonder if you ever should.

“i’m here.” you laugh, grinning at her lousy attempt to find you, tucked away in the bathroom. she walks in, hands covering her eyes in terror as she realises she’s walked in on you ‘dropping the kids off at the pool’ as your brothers friend, mark, likes to call it.

“not a single warning???” the door slams behind her and you cant help but laugh, hearing the faint voice of your other roommate, julie, questioning if giselle is okay.

you love your friends, you really do, each day consumed with laughter and mindfulness. you wouldn’t trade the dynamic you guys share for the world, not even if it meant for you to be happier.

of course you have other friends too, your closest friend jeno, being your most notable, even amongst giselle and julie. but the comfort you feel with the girls allows for you to share your feelings in a different light, even if you are, at times, smothered by darkness.

you head to your morning class, julie at your side. although you’re both very different in personality; julie a sweeter and a quieter version of yourself, you both beam together in studies. being an english literature major meant you were able to put your thoughts into words, whilst she strived to put her words, unspoken, onto paper.

the sun was brighter than usual, an indication towards the beginning of summer.

“i cannot WAIT for this summer.” julie sneered sarcastically.

“come on, everyone seems to love the beach except you. we literally go to a uni, on the beach, surely you should have expected-“

“i came for jaehyun.”

fair enough. you couldn’t argue with that.

jaehyun was jenos cousin, you’d met him many times at jenos christmas parties, their strikingly similar sense of style overwhelmed you at first, but you soon became aware of julie’s little crush on jaehyun, watching as it bloomed into what now is their relationship.

she squealed at the thought of her boyfriend. “6 months on saturday!” holding your hand, she danced around you, you couldn’t help but laugh at her switch in attitude. “ yn im so happy you lead me to him.”

“urg don’t get cheesy on me now, we’re about to read shakespeare in class i dont need to hear it now before i even step foot in the lecture hall.”

huffing, she turns away from you, leading you into the hall. your first class of the summer.

your phone buzzes in your pocket. again. again. again. your anger getting the better of you as you roll your eyes, digging into the pocket of your shorts to read the messages.

[jen] where are u?

[jen] will u reply pls

[jen] im bored

your anger subsides - albeit only slightly - at the sight of your bestfriends name as it flashes up on the screen.

[jen] i know you can see these

[jen] your probably watching them come through and laughing at me 😕😕😕😕

you try not to laugh to yourself, the library sounding empty yet being full of people working.

[yn] the library

[yn] dont come here ill meet u

[jen] beach bar?😁

[yn] beach bar.

packing up your things, you head down the library steps and wander your away across the sandy path to the beach. it isn’t a short walk, your entire college campus is practically on the beach itself, causing for horrible windy winters but the most beautiful place to be in summer. this only means that the winter break is extended, with the college staying open in summer to maximise its use of the beach.

you spot the familiar palm-tree umbrellas and the somehow constant reggae music from afar, squinting around the sofa’s for a hint of black hair until you spot him.

sitting down he looks across at you in wonder, brows furrowing.

“damn, didn’t think you’d really come to be honest”

you hold yourself back from slapping him clean in the face.

“what’s that supposed to mean.”

“yanno….” he looks around before leaning forward, somehow whispering yet shouting at the same time, “yangyang works over t h e r e.” he points with obnoxiously large movements towards the surf shop, using not only two hands but his entire body to point in the direction of your ex boyfriend.

you stare at jeno, unamused.

“i’m about to leave if you keep doing that.”

“noooooooooo stayyyyyy” his voice is monotone, sarcastic.

your’s and jenos teasing of one another was your favourite part about your friendship, knowing so much about eachother that you know exactly what makes the other person crack. but there’s also times where a serious tone can easily take over conversation, and you both can become mutual to each others moods quite quickly.

you bury yourself in the sofa, showing that you have no intent on leaving anytime soon which surprises jeno, eyebrows raised.

“i’ll have to get over him at some point.” you shrug, “why not now?”

he grins at that, nodding in pride.

“atta girl.”

you both talk for hours, talking about your assignments, your friend group and getting excited over plans you could make in the upcoming weeks. one of which jeno seems particularly passionate about.

“beach bonfires every night.” he chants and you look up at him in bewilderment.

“jeno you know i hateeeee parties.” you drag out your words so he understands you in definition.

he pulls out his phone, “well too bad, i already made a groupchat with everyone in it. you’re coming yn.”

your eyes tell jeno that your not entirely joking, you’ve never been a big partier, always opting to stay at home whenever the rest of the group invites you to go. but this time, jeno is going to make sure you have fun. this summer will be different.

“why don’t we have one tonight.” he exclaims. “ease you into it.”

your eyes go wide. “you CANNOT be serious. jeno i have work tomorrow and it’s my first beach shift this year. i need to be there for my training.”

“don’t worry, ill make sure you get there, just let loose a little. why not? it’s the start of summer.”

you’re skeptical. but he’s right; it’s the start of summer and there’s no better time to start than now. you can only wish that you’ll enjoy yourself as much as he says you will.

“okay fine. but you can’t leave me.”

“not at all, ill be by your side the entire time.”

you never believe him when he says that, always going off towards the end of the night with some girl wrapped around his arm. but this time, something in the sincerity of his words makes you trust what he’s saying. he’s giving you a chance. a chance to let go of yourself and everything that’s been bothering you for the past 11 months. a chance for you to set off this summer better than the last. a chance for you to find your own paradise.

after jeno rolls out a message to nearly every living organism within a 500 meter radius telling them of a bonfire that night, it dawns upon you that you shouldn’t feel so scared to hang out with your friends. you should feel like jeno, smile plastered on his face as he reads between the lines of his book titled ‘math for dummies.’ you’re not entirely sure how jeno got into college to study math in the first place, but how he got to keep his place after failing exam after exam is even more beyond you. but anyhow, he’s at peace with the events of tonight, no wavering wash of anxiety covers his expression quite like yours. jeno notices you sitting there, fingers wrapped around thumbs as you try not to think about the upcoming event. would you see yangyang? would he try and talk to you? what if he has another girlfriend already? i mean it’s been 11 months…

he says nothing of your lack of concentration. mind sucked into his book, probably going into shock at the moment the book starts adding letters.

you and jeno finish up your time at the beach bar as you walk back to your dorms. the boys dorm and the girls dorm at seperate sides of campus, you split with eachother early on. texting giselle, you see who’s home.

[yn] are you in

[yn] ???

[giselle 🫶] yes are u on ur way back?

[yn] yes pls let me in i forgot my key

[giselle🫶] give me a second

after waiting at the door for what seems like an hour, giselle finally lets you in, towel wrapped around her hair.

“how the hell do you forget your key??!” she mumbles between her toothbrush.

making your way to your room, you yell back across the hall in response. “i use a different bag everyday.” you shrug. you open your closet, scanning for an appropriate outfit for tonight when julie’s head pokes around the corner of the doorway.

“no way….” her eyes are wide and you motion for her to be quiet. jeno already made a big deal about you going so you can’t back out, giselle finding out that your going to your first party without yangyang will only cause for noise complains from your neighbours. “no WAY.” but julie continues, herself in shock. your shushing does nothing. “giselle get over here RIGHT NOW.”

you want to sink into the floor, perhaps end up at the dorm below where those people don’t know you. but giselle’s reaction is far different from anything you expect.

“you’re coming to jenos party????” she’s so quiet you feel the urge to throw something at her to get her to speak up. “yn you don’t have to go if it makes you uncomfortable. we know you don’t like par-“

“i want to go.”

no you don’t? you do a double take on your own words as they spill out of your mouth. but you were trying to prove something, not only to jeno and yangyang, but to yourself.

giselle, albeit it somewhat annoyingly, runs up to you with an arm full of different dresses, dresses you would never dream of wearing, all embroidered with flowers and different colours you didn’t even know should be in the same outfit together.

but when your eyes lands on one of the dresses, all of your criticism moves to the side. it was just perfect.

giselle can see you staring at it. “i’ve never worn it. my grandma made it for me.”

you look up at her. desperately trying to give it back. “i can’t wear it.”

“yes you can.” she smiles and you hesitantly take the dress back from her, holding it against your body in the mirror.

your nerves were now becoming excitement.

you, giselle and julie get there well after the likes of everyone else. struggling to walk on the sand, you rip your eyes from your feet to look up. jeno was right, you needed this. the sun setting along the line of the ocean, the shadows caused from the bonfire in the middle of the sea of bodies, everyone in their respective friend groups - you felt comfort.

seeing you before you see him, jeno rushes over to you, ditching whatever people he was with prior to watching you walk over. jeno had many friends, yes, but you were his only close one.

“you came!” you scoff in annoyance at the shock in his words, despite telling him you were going to come.

“obviously.”

he pats you on the back leading both you and giselle to the once calm and serene beach bar, now dizzy with lights as well as the reggae music. you presume julie has run off with jaehyun, your theory confirmed when you notice them by the shore, hand in hand.

“let’s get you a drink.” jeno laughs, calling over the bartender and asking for three vodka lemons. you thank him.

giselle rolls her eyes and nods her head in direction of whoever is coming onto the bar decking behind you. you turn around, fear of seeing his face again filling you.

somehow, the actaul face of who was walking in behind you, annoys you even more.

“yn??” your older brother asks.

great.

“jisung..” you smile. laugh even.

“i’m going to kill you.” his eyes find jenos in mock anger as he proceeds to jokingly ready up his fist for a punch. you laugh at their childishness.

when your laughter comes to a halt, you notice the voice of another next to you.

you look up to mark, brows furrowed. “how long have you been standing there??”

he scratches the nape of his neck, “like forever dude.” you huff and giselle laughs. “what brings you here anyways? you never come to these.”

giselle answers mark for you. “she’s bored.”

that’s one way to put it.

“well im glad you are, its nice to have a fresh face around here sometimes. jeno and jisung can be a bit much after a couple drinks.” he teases, jenos face twisting into an exaggerated expression of shock.

after getting your drinks, you all go to sit on the sand, julie and jaehyun beckoning you over. you take your seat between jeno and julie. sat like this, with all your friends, watching the fire wither away in the wind, you feel comfort. you watch as giselle fights with jisung over the remainder of her drink, threatening to push him into the fire if he takes even the slightest sip. you can’t help but smile. jeno notices your ease, nudging you on your shoulder as he talks to you, quietly.

“i’m glad you came.” he smiles. “you’re the only friend i need.”

evidently, jenos words knock a sense of confidence into you. causing you to spend the rest of the night swallowing shot after shot, even indulging in marks beer when he came over after hearing you had tried to run into the sea, wanting to see it for himself now that your brother had gone home.

“you know…w.. i havent seeeen yangyang allllll night. what a loser..hiding….fromme.” you stumble over your words, your lack of experience in drinking causing you to have little control over anything your saying.

jeno, still surprisingly by your side, shares a look of amusement with mark. “i’m going to take her home soon.” he tells him, “keep an eye on her whilst i go grab my stuff?”

mark nods and jeno walks away, causing you, in your drunken state, confusion. “nooo jenooo. don’t leave me with him.” mark tries to quieten you down to try avoid any weird looks but ultimately fails when you blab about wanting him to leave you alone.

“yn, he’ll be back soon okay. just don’t go anywhere, he’ll kill m-“

“who’ll kill you?”

you recognise that voice.

turning around, you squint in the direction the voice came from. tan skin, a mess of dusty pink hair. dusty pink hair? that’s oddly specifi-

oh.

“why do you care?” mark replies, face screwing up in confusion.

“who are you?” the voice asks again.

“you gonna keep asking questions or are you gonna tell me what you want man”

the man’s eyes drift to yours.

yangyang’s eyes drift to yours.

slowly, you try to inch backwards, your only wish for this very moment being to find jeno. “i’m gonna… i’m gonna go….” you whisper, mark looking at you, utterly oblivious to the situation.

“but-“ mark protests but he’s yet again cut off by yangyang.

“if she wants to go, let her”, unaware the he’s the problem and not mark. but you can’t explain that to mark now, you’re already making your way down the beach to find jeno, stumbling in your tracks.

you can hear mark asking around for where you’ve gone, but your mind isn’t clear enough to realise you should go back to him.

you admit defeat, sitting down by yourself. it’s comical how quickly the night shifted once you became aware of yangyangs presence, only hours ago were you basking in the company of your friends. now you sit alone.

the next morning, you find yourself on jenos floor.

jenos sitting on his bed, scrolling mindlessly through his phone until he hears you stir. “finally, you’re u- oh shit, that’s not pretty.”

it takes you a few moments to process his words, head feeling heavy and your eyes adjusting to the light of jenos room. he throws you a hoodie, nodding at you to put it on. your brows furrow in question. it’s not cold.

you look down at your dress, no, giselle’s dress, covered in a layer of bright vivid orange.

remnants of last night.

shit.

“no no no no..” you ramble, jumping to your feet to make your way to jenos bathroom, his roommate chenle, giving you a look of disgust as you bolt past him.

“you okay, yn?” jeno calls out, a mix of worry and amusement lacing his tone. this was not a time for amusement. “just change into the hoodie and i can walk you to your dorm in time for work.”

work?

your heart drops in your chest.

you were truly and utterly fucked.

the walk to your dorm resembled more to that of a sprint, jeno struggling to keep up with your pace.

“how the hell do you walk so fast.” he pants, “i literally cannot feel my legs.”

you feign sympathy at him before speeding up even more. you have to get to work this morning, you couldn’t lose the chance to uptake a lifeguard position at the beach. the pool has been anything but miserable.

after thanking jeno for his, in his terms, ‘chivalry’, you quickly rush to find your uniform. you pick up the red tankini, throwing on some shorts and a cap to keep yourself covered on your way to the beach. luckily, you find giselle asleep on her bed, throwing the dress in your laundry basket to wash when you get back. julie is nowhere to be seen, most likely having stayed round jaehyuns for the night.

brushing your teeth and drenching yourself in julie’s perfume as a desperate attempt to smell atleast a little less of puke, you bolt out the door.

it has been 10 minutes since training started.

when you get to the beach, it has been 18 minutes.

when you put your stuff in your locker and clock in, it has been 20 minutes.

the moment you get to the group in training, it has been 33.

you plead with the instructor - who’s name was johnny according to his badge reading ‘ncu senior. johnny suh’ - in hopes that he’ll let you stay.

“nope. no can do.” he doesn’t even look at you, too busy watching the 9 other lifeguards in training, swimming out to various buoys out in the water.

“but please i can stay behind after so i can-“

“i said no. it’s not in my paycheck to accommodate extra time for those who are late. if you miss the beach briefing, then you’re at the pool. it’s the same every year.” he shrugs, pulling his cap up to push his hair back before placing it back on his head. “not my problem.”

you couldn’t believe it, you were going to kill lee jeno if it was the last thing you do. you can’t even remember last night, and now its still haunting you into the next day. you cannot imagine it getting any worse.

that was until you hear a scream from one of the lifeguards in the distance.

you look over to johnny, expecting him to leap from his high-chair on the sand and run into the water, but he’s gone, chatting up some woman on the other side of the sunbeds.

a child next to you begins talking to you. no, yelling at you.

“hey! you’re a lifeguard too! help, my sisters hurt!”

the other lifeguards are too far to hear the scream. you curse johnny for not making them go by groups, and you curse yourself for not wearing a tshirt over your bright red tankini top, spelling out the words ‘lifeguard’ in bold white capitals.

after assessing the situation, you figure that you have no choice but to run into the water, swimming after the waving arm of one of the trainee lifeguards about 20 meters from the shore, a red lifeguard float from johnnys chair in your hand. unaware of if she was just out of her depth or in pain, you push the float under her arms, dragging her with you back to the sand.

she’s limping, so you attempt to hold her weight with the side of your body as you pull her from the final stretch of water and onto the sand. as you place her to sit down, she thanks you and you offer her a fresh towel from johnnys bench, asking her if she’s okay. johnny eventually comes running over at the sight of your situation.

“it’s a sprained ankle.” you tell him, “must have got her foot caught on a rock under the water.”

he nods before calling over two other trainees to take her to the first aid hut, the girls’ brother helplessly following behind her in tears.

johnny stands with you, arms crossed as he finally looks at you. “i suppose we’re a lifeguard short now.”

you try to hold back your smile, realising what this means.

“you’ll need to do the training so i’ll make one of the stronger swimmers of the lifeguard trainees today give you your induction. think yourself lucky.” and with that, he walks off. you could cry at the amount of luck you were feeling in this moment; finally something today had gone right. “well don’t just stand there, come with me.”

you quickly run after him. “right, sorry.”

johnny laughs to himself in response, but he’s quick to try and hide it. you make a note to yourself that you must somehow be on the seniors good side.

when you reach the steps to the closest lifeguard tower, johnny brings you to the desk where he hands you a form.

“sign here and here, i’ll go grab him. he should be up in 10.”

he?

all sorts of names rush through your head. you couldn’t exactly see the faces of which lifeguards were training as they were out in the water, but you weren’t friends with any of the male lifeguards from the pool.

you sit in johnnys chair, silently observing the view out onto the beach, spreading for miles and miles, white sand meets turquoise water, occupying a plethora of - mainly ncu students - but some families too. the college spreads itself on the other side, almost parallel to the stretch of the beach. you wouldn’t wish you were anywhere else.

a knock at the tower door wakes you from your daydream.

you stand up. “come in.”

expecting someone familiar to walk through the door, you’re surprised to find yourself face to face with a man you have never seen before in your entire year at the job.

although you didn’t get into beach guarding last year, everyone had to guard a pool in the winter, switching posts multiple times a day and meaning you’d met everyone in the job. but this man was entirely unknown to you. and if you were being perfectly honest, he did not have a face that you would forget easily. you had to admit, his bleached hair made you a little awestricken. you’d never seen someone suit such a bold style before.

anyhow, you don’t understand how he’s already qualified for the specialised training, general training is multiple weeks and today is the first day of the semester.

he notices your confusion, but says nothing to ease your mind.

“im jaemin. hi.” he walks past you.

past you.

it’s as if you weren’t even there. he sits down, putting his feet up on the desk.

“um… yn.” you reply with a nod. “so uh, you’re training me?”

“i think so, that johnny guy didn’t say much, said something about me being able to surf means i can swim.”

a surfer? great. so not only do you have the new guy doing your induction, but even he doesn’t know what he’s doing.

after asking him what’s first on the list that johnny handed him with the form, he takes you out onto the beach with a stopwatch and johnnys clipboard, reading off the first tick box.

“the first one is..” he says whilst scanning his eyes across the page in attempts to find the first requirement. “ah right, a swim to the 25 meter buoy in 50 seconds.”

you look at him in shock, he’s starting with the short distance one?

“are you messing with me.” you ask, “i’m doing the 25 meter first?”

“yup.” he laughs, “unless… you don’t want to be a lifeguard anymore.”

unbelievable. actually fucking unbelievable; not only is this newbie doing your induction, but now he’s threatening you. you were wrong, your day could and definitely did get worse.

throwing a middle finger in his direction up on the lifeguard chair, which earns you a laugh from him in response, you run into the water, diving once it reaches your thighs. you get flashbacks of the save you just did, imagining that the buoy infront of you is actually a person yelling for your help (morbid, but it works.) your arms ache, your legs ache, your body aches but you keep going, lapping around the buoy until you find your way back onto the shore.

you’re panting as you make your way back to jaemin, who climbs down the chair, pencil in his mouth as he tries not to fall.

he walks over to you. “43 seconds. not bad.”

not bad????

you wish you could punch him. one day you will.

“whatever, barbie.” you sneer back passively, his face contorting into an expression of shock, mouth hung wide open. but you can tell he’s trying not to let out a laugh.

you go through each tick box, continuing with the 200 meter swim and then the 200 meter beach run which, indoubtedly, makes you feel a little stupid. but you pass all the tests with ease, much to jaemins surprise.

if it wasn’t for the fact that he was new and annoyingly arrogant, you would probably have been friends with him, he seems funny enough.

as jaemin was ticking off the final box, johnny returns.

“how’d she do?” he turns to jaemin, who’s smug face tells you everything you need to know. he’s about to lie.

“i passed.” you butt in; you were on johnnys good side already, a joke about failing would have immediately ruined that. jaemin squints in your direction and you can only smile back in arrogance.

johnny pats you on the back, “good job. you guys are both done for the day, check your emails in the next few hours for your schedule.” he turns to walk away before stopping himself and turning back around, “and, thanks jaemin. i owe you one. ” he turns for real this time, back slowly shrinking as he walks up towards ncu.

“well, i better be off then.” jaemin quickly remarks, giving you little to no time to tell him a quick “bye” before he, too, is walking back to campus.

you wonder to yourself if you’ll ever see him again, and if, for some reason, you would even mind his company.

but you brush off that thought as quickly as it came.

when you get back to the dorm. giselle is waiting.

“hey yn.” she smiles.

suspicious, she never says hey when you get in.

oh.

the dress.

“look, giselle, im so sorry.. i woke up at jenos and by the time i got back it was already 10am and then i-“

“i bought you some more!” she squeals. now, you are really confused.

your brow flips in confusion, “but i ruined your dress..”

“exactly! i got some more for you.”

you actually couldn’t believe your ears, unable to think of what to say.

until you realise exactly why she’s not mad.

because its an excuse for her to buy you dresses. dresses to go to parties wearing; parties that you will NOT be partaking in.

“oh i don’t think so.” you shake your head, giselle running up to you excitedly. “i’ve barely even recovered from last night, and today wasn't exactly relaxing either.”

“oh come on yn, it’s not gonna a big one like last night, we’re just going round jaehyuns frat for a few hours. you don’t have to drink!”

it sounds appealing, it really does. despite the fact that you can’t remember much about last night, you do remember enjoying yourself. but the idea of spending hours if not the entire rest of the night socialising after swimming and running down a beach all day in the sun, removed any sort of energy you had remaining.

“please yn, just one night.” she’s nearly sobbing at this point.

after multiple attempts at begging you to go throughout the evening, giselle and julie finally convince you to come. if anything just to reduce their insistent pressure on you to change your mind. it got so bad to the point where, as you were trying to make your dinner, giselle kept turning the oven off whenever you weren’t looking. you nearly slapped her out of irritation.

giselle gives you one of the dresses to wear, and the three of you make your way to the frat that jaehyun was in.

you aren’t familiar with many of jaehyuns friends, let alone any of them in his frat, so you were relying on both the girls, and jeno, being jaehyuns cousin, to keep you company.

as you arrive, you’re shocked to discover how loud the music blares from the outside, booming along the sand which surrounds the path that stretches to the front of the house.

jeno greets you at the door. nodding at both giselle and julie in acknowledgment, his face yet again contorts into shock when he notices you with them.

“why didn’t you tell me you were coming!” he yells over the music, leaning into you so you can hear him.

you follow him deeper into the crowd of people. ‘it’s not a big one like last night’ my ass. if anything, there was more people.

“i didn’t even know i was coming myself until an hour ago.” you reply, jeno squeezing your arm in response to let you know you’re safe.

“well you can rest assured that yangyang isn't here tonight. he won’t try and confront you again.”

what?

oh.

you remember now.

you remember everything: trying to run into the ocean, yangyang coming up to you with a clueless mark by your side, walking off alone.. jeno must have found you after that.

“oh shit, i totally forgot that even happened.” you laugh, jenos face responding with a look of concern.

“really? you were that drunk?”

“i guess so.” you laugh again, even though deep down, you’re panicking. “did you fill mark in? i feel bad he didn’t know who yangyang was and i sort of just ran away.”

jeno, for some reason, finds this hilarious, hanging his head back as he tries not to spill his drink from laughing too much. “yes,” he slows his laughter but it’s still continuing as he talks. “he got so worried thinking that you hated him.”

“oh my god…” you’re embarrassed to say the least, but atleast jeno had explained to him who yangyang was.

you look around for giselle, wondering where she’d ran off too before jeno snaps you out of it. “i think she went off with chenle.” chenle? you’re not one to judge when it comes to your bestfriends taste in men, but you’ve heard giselle talk about how much she hates that man, so you can only say you’re surprised. but you brush it off.

leaving yours and jenos own little bubble, you continue to look around the room, the lack of familiar faces causing you to feel a little uneasy. you see julie and jaehyun in the corner, like usual, but you don’t want to interfere with whatever they seem to be doing. jeno can tell you feel uncomfortable, taking your arm and leading you to another area of the house, still packed with people.

“i want you to meet someone.” he says. you can tell he’s been thinking about introducing you to this mysterious someone ever since you started talking, his mind seemingly a little less focused than usual.

but when you realise who the someone is that he is referring to, you start to wish that you had just listened to your gut and stayed at home.

“this is yn.” jeno starts, pointing at you, unmoving in your stance.

“hi.” the someone replies

his hand goes out to shake yours.

“i’m jaemin.”

you want to sink into the floor and never come back to reality.

your mind whirls with confusion and horror as you look at the person infront of you, no longer in his white tank and red shorts, hair no longer a blond mess of sand and sea salt, his hand extended towards you and a knowing smirk cascading across his lips.

he was having so much fun.

“ouch,” he sucks in a breath, feigning pain, “haven’t even known you 30 seconds and already been rejected.” he says, the irony in his words making you want to run out of the party and go back home. he’s pretending not to know you.

you turn to jeno, hoping he would see your distaste in his friend, but he’s laughing.

the one person you would hope to be of comfort to you. and he’s laughing.

you give in, shaking his hand and faking a smile which you know he picks up on. “nice to meet you.” you say. words feeling sour and dry in your mouth.

his grin widens.

jeno pats his hand on both your backs. “jaemin’s just moved here from LA, i went to school with him before he left.”

so that’s the mysterious best friend from jenos childhood, the bestfriend who jeno constantly speaks about, wishing he could meet him again. and here he is, the very same man who has taunted your mind since you left the beach earlier today.

“LA?” you give him a look of shock, this time a real one. no wonder you hadn’t seen his face before, he was in an entirely different country. “i’m guessing you got your lifeguard qualification over there then.” you ask out of both genuine curiosity and stupidity; revealing to jeno that you’d met him at the lifeguard training earlier today.

jeno looks surprised, turning to jaemin. “you didn’t tell me you were applying to that.”

jaemin shrugs. “might as well, need the money.”

“yeah especially after you spent it all on-“ jenos words are interrupted, jaemin holding a hand over his mouth to shut him up and leading them both into a fit of laughter.

you stay stood there, unsure of what to do but to look at your feet. you would never believe you could feel left out in jeno’s presence, he always made sure you were okay.

but he isn’t right now.

jeno and jaemin are still laughing about something you don’t understand and you consider turning around and trying to find julie. but you figure you would rather third wheel two old bestfriends than a overly-affectionate couple, so you stay.

“…and then she told me she faked the entire thing!” jaemin says, jeno laughing and slapping the former on the shoulder repeatedly as they both share memories and jokes that you don’t feel you should be part of.

you feel awkward.

“i’m gonna go.” you say, too quiet for either of them to understand but loud enough for them to hear you.

“what?” it’s jeno that leans down to hear what you have to say, but jaemin speaks up before you can repeat yourself.

“she wants to leave.” he says to jeno.

he didn’t hear what you had said, but considering he’s been watching you in his peripheral for the past 5 minutes, he figures from your awkwardness you wouldn’t want to stay much longer.

jeno raises an eyebrow at jaemins words. “but why?” he asks you. you don’t want to have to explain to him that you feel left out, so you tell him you’re not feeling too well.

walking you to the door, jaemin behind you, jeno holds your shoulders before fixing a stray hair at the top of your head. “are you sure you’re okay to walk home by yourself?”

you nod but he doesn’t believe you, you’ve never liked walking in the dark.

“yo jeno.” jaehyun calls to him from the living room, “someone called big papi ‘pink heart emoji, winking emoji’ is calling you!”

jeno rolls his eyes before yelling, “DON’T ANSWER THAT ITS HAECHAN.” panicking, he asks jaemin to make sure you get home safely before running off in jaehyuns direction.

you begin walking through the door and out to the porch, there is no way in hell you were about to let jaemin walk you home. you know jeno has had a few drinks, but he must really trust jaemin if he can run off and leave you with him.

but that doesn’t mean you have to.

after walking for around 30 seconds, you feel a presence behind you. turning, you see jaemin trailing behind you, falling beside you once you slow down to face him.

“what?” he asks, “jeno asked me to, i can’t just leave you.”

you roll your eyes. “i’m fine to walk by myself, just have a headache, that’s all.”

“so it has nothing to do with you standing in that party desperate to leave the moment you saw me.”

his words render you speechless. not because anything he had said shocked you, but because he’s completely and utterly right.

he continues. “you and jeno seem close.”

“he’s my bestfriend.” you say, and he looks at you from the corner of his eye.

“have you guys ever…” he’s smirking and it takes you a few moments to realise what he’s implying.

“no! god, no, absolutely not!” you retort, and he laughs.

“i met with him the day after i came back, would not shut up about you. would never have guessed the rude girl i had to induct at the beach was the girl he spoke so sweetly about.”

you were taken aback, not only did he just straight up insult you, but him bringing up jeno made a part of your chest sting. jeno had met with him days ago and hadn’t told you about him until today?

jeno never hid anything from you, and it makes you wonder why he had held off telling you about jaemin.

jaemin isn’t alarmed by your silence, only continuing to talk to you. but the next question he asks you pulls you from your thoughts.

“you don’t like me, do you?”

you look up at him, unsure of what to say, attempting not to fall over your feet as you try to match his walking pace.

“ive only just met you.” you respond.

“and yet you don’t like me. i’m not an idiot, yn, i see the way you look at everyone else compared to the way you look at me.”

you feel caught. in all honesty, you haven’t thought about it. you haven’t known jaemin long enough to form an opinion on him. but after tonight, you fear that he may be right.

you hate the fact that jaemin can read you so well. ever since you arrived at the party, he’s been able to pick up every little part of you that seems even the tiniest bit out of place and you hate it. you’ve never felt this seen.

“i don’t hate you.” you tell jaemin and he sighs. he smiles in annoyance, tongue poking the inside of his cheek in attempt to stop himself from saying something he’d regret.

“but you don’t like me.” he instead replies.

“i don’t know you.”

you’re starting to get a little angry, going round and round in circles. but his reaction to your words differ from yours.

“so get to know me then.”

this time, you stop walking.

when he notices that you’ve stopped, he asks you again. “get to know me.”

your eyes, originally dropped to the floor, look up to his and you sigh. “i don’t think im going to have a choice.”

his head cocks to the side and you remind him of jeno and his crippling party addiction, jaemin laughs.

as you begin to walk again, you wonder why you have these feelings of hate towards a man you met today but nothing rational in your mind confirms it.

when you get to the outside of your dorm building, you turn to jaemin. “thank you for walking me back.”

“get some sleep.” he nods to you as you give him a small smile, his hands in his pockets. “and yn,” you turn quickly to face him, “for the record, i don’t like you either.” he pauses. “goodnight.”

what a way to end your night.

(a/n: tysm for reading the first part!! i’ve had so much fun writing this and i appreciate every single one of you who interact with and enjoy the stuff i write as much as i enjoy writing it. part two will be out soon ♡)

other works

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@therealbobbyshloby @nanaxwi @flwrs4marklee @injunnie-lemon @gyub1nn13 @p-d1ddy @cyjzzl (a few have been removed if tags don’t work)

[heaven4lostgirls]

hope (S.R)

pairing: steve rogers x reader

warning: angst, a little bit of comfort.

summary: the aftermath of reader leaving steve gives him clarity and has them both realizing that he needs to work harder to gain his girl back.

word count: 1.6k

a/n: I am so sorry this took so long to come out, I’ve been swamped with uni work but I’m so happy you guys liked part 1, I will probably post a part 3 to this, which other characters do you ship reader with??? Steve is looking at some competition soon!

part 1 , part 2, part 3

tags: @nouk1998, @spngingerbread21, @blackhawkfanatic, @immyowndefender (if I wasn't able to tag you that means your tags don't work!)

Steve,

If you’re reading this, then you have realised I’m not staying in the tower anymore. Tony helped set me up in safe house for the next few weeks, I can’t stay here. You chose Sharon over me Steve and you must know that I can’t stay with someone who would choose another woman over me.

I need you to know that although it’s been hard for me to accept it, I understand. It’s not okay that you chose to leave without talking to me, but I understand if she is who you want okay? I am so grateful to have spent the last 3 years by your side, but I can no longer watch on from the sidelines as you look at her like how you used to look at me.

When I come back, hopefully I’ll be ready to talk, but I am asking you that if you ever held any form of love and respect for me, to give me this time to heal.

Thank you, Steve, for everything,

y/n.

Steve crumples your handwritten letter in his hand, the paper squashed in the palm of his hands as he throws back the bourbon in his glass. His eyes are red rimmed and his face unshaven. He has been a mess since you left a week ago, unable to move from his room, and spending his time rereading your letter hoping that he could find some small sign that you still loved him, still wanted him.

He was unaccustomed to this feeling of pain, when he got out of the ice, he assumed the pain of knowing that he had missed his time with Peggy was truly the worst form of torture but the agony of once having your love and affection and having it so brutally stripped from him, may just be at the top of his list.

He sighs as he uncrumples the paper to place it on his desk as he moves to lay back in his bed, he had been part of a repetitive cycle for the last week, working purely on survival mode before he’s interrupted by a soft knock on his door.

He knows better than to feel excited at the small hope of it being you however he knows that it’s Bucky and Sam checking up on him and bringing him food before they annoy him into getting into the shower. He can’t stand the look of pity in their eyes as they hand him his food, so he slams the door shut as soon as he gets it, placing it on his desk, he moves to the bathroom.

He turns the shower head all the way to cold, hoping it will bring some shock into his system, however because of his super soldier abilities, his immune system is fried and numb to the coldness of the water.

His eyes burn as tears roll down his face, sobs wrack his body as he pounds his fist into the wall in front of me which breaks at the force of his strength. He hears the door quietly open before he feels Bucky’s metal arm tugging him from under the water into a towel.

This has happened nearly everyday for the last 3 days, sometime on the first day, Steve had stopped acting like you abrupt leaving hadn’t affected him and broke down during his training session, to which Bucky had been helping him through his depressed state however all he ever really wanted was you.

“I want her back” Steve sobs into Bucky’s clothed shoulder as he feels his friend cooing and soothing him like a baby before he is gently placed on his bed. His body shakes with his painful sobbing as he feels Bucky rubbing his back. “I know Stevie, I know” Bucky sighs as he tucks Steve in after he exhausts himself from crying.

Meanwhile you haven’t been doing any better, your mental health slowly deteriorating at the acceptance of the end of your relationship with Steve. You had known somewhere deep down that throughout the past month whenever you had caught Steve looking at Sharon that this was the beginning of the end.

However now it was time for you to face the reality of the situation, you may have spent the last week crying your eyes out at sad romance films with ice-cream and chocolate  but you knew that enough was enough, you needed to talk with Steve and hear what he had wanted to say the day you left.

Running from your problems was not the best solution however you knew realistically you did not have the mental capacity to hear whatever Steve had to say and that it would only end up doing more harm than good considering how high strung you both were about the whole situation.

Now, as you step off the quinjet, you are greeted with Bucky’s genuine yet sorrowful smile. “Hi Buck” you greeted softly as you stood awkwardly, worrying if you could still hug him even though you knew he probably spent the last week comforting your ex-boyfriend. Not than you could blame him, they had been friends for far longer than the both of you.

Bucky just rolled his eyes before his smile widened as he pulled you into a tight hug, you breathed a sigh of relief and slumped into your friend. Your moment was interrupted by a loud voice chiming in from behind the both of you.

“Y/N!!!!” you and Bucky both separate, you with a look of amusement and Bucky with a look of annoyance. Peter’s joyful gaze found yours as he sprinted towards you. “I knew when you didn’t respond to the meme I sent you this morning, something was up!” he said excitedly as he spins you in a hug as a laugh bubbles out of you.

“Hey kid, yeah I was on a flight back from South Africa” you smile and separate from him before you see his joyful gaze darken at something behind you.

“Y/N.” you hear softly from behind you, and you freeze.

You turn around and place a polite smile on your face, not quite ready for the conversation ahead.

“Steve” you say and nod at him, he moves as though he’s going to hug you but thinks again and moves back and you’re somewhat grateful, you don’t think you’d be able to compose yourself.

You all stand in awkward silence for a bit before you break it, “I should uh” you gesture inside and he nods before he opens his mouth, “Can I help with your bags?” he asks nervously.

You were hoping to have a few minutes to compose yourself, but Steve is probably right to get the conversation out of the way.

As you both walk through the tower, you realise how quiet it is and make note to thank everyone for steering clear of the both of you.

As you both reached your old room since you had been sharing with Steve, you place you bag down before you turn to Steve who is standing sadly outside your room. “You can come in” you tease him and that snaps him out of his mood as he moves to sit at the desk in front of your bed and you sit on your bed.

“So” you both start before you motion to Steve to carry on.

“I love you y/n, I don’t want this to be the end, can we please work on this? I promise I’ll do better, and I won’t choose Sharon over you ever again.” He rushes out in what you assume is an attempt to stop the inevitable.

You smile at him in pity and before you can start talking you see him shaking his head as tears fill his eyes. “Steve, if you really wanted me as bad as you say you do, where was all this attention and affection this last month? Why did it take me leaving for you to realise how badly you fucked up?” you question and watch as he breaks in front of you.

The last week must have been hell for him, the same way the last month was for you.

“Please just let me try y/n, let me try please” he pleads as he moves from sitting in the small chair to kneeling before you as he grasps your hands.

You move your hands to grasp his face as you wipe his tears.

“Love, I will always love you but you need to realise how hard it was for me to sit here on standby every time you left me for Sharon, I need to choose myself for once” you confess and Steve sobs into your legs as you thread your hands through his hair as you try and calm him down.

You watch as Steve tries to compose himself in front of you before he looks into your eyes in determination. “I’m going to prove it to you” he says seriously, and you nod to placate him before he shakes his head in protest. “No, you don’t understand, I am going to prove to you how much you mean to me y/n” he says and some part of you is hopeful he tries as hard as he says he’s going to be this time.

“I’m not going to sit around and wait for you to make it up to me Steve, you’re going to have to work for it” you say, and he deflates but nonetheless nods in understanding, realistically he acknowledges that he deserved worse treatment. He just can’t stand the idea of you finding love and connection with someone that isn’t him.

[sxfterhearts]

with and without you: a supportive bf!keeho headcannon

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ non-idol!keeho x non-idol!reader ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅

♡ genre/warnings: fluff!! reader finds it challenging to navigate a certain social situation (aka: university classmates' reunion), especially without her supportive and understanding boyfriend, keeho. but tldr, she manages just fine on her own :)

♡ word count: 1,836 words

//

after three long, boring hours, your seminar finally came to an end. as you walked out the door, you felt the fatigue set deep into your bones. that, plus the fact that you stayed up last night to finish an assignment, meant you wanted nothing more than to just go home and sleep.

but you knew you couldnt – you and keeho already agreed months in advance to attend your friend’s pre-wedding dinner tonight. and shoot - you checked your phone and realised you were running late

just then, keeho’s notifications popped up. he told you that he was still held up at work (something about waiting for approval from his boss), and will be around half an hour late. the plan was initially to meet up first and head over together, but it seemed like he had to meet you there instead.

you felt yourself shrivel up at the thought of arriving and having to face all those people alone, without keeho – your boyfriend; your rock. but you bit your lip and sucked it up because work was work, and he had no choice

keeho could sense you were apprehensive, but reassured you that he would try to get there as soon as he could, and as always, that he loved you.

you and keeho had been dating for around four years now. you first met at your classes in uni, and went from being friends, to study buddies, to best friends, and naturally, to lovers. the two of you were three years out of school, and stuck together through thick and thin – first jobs, first moves, first promotions, and everything in between.

earlier in the year, you decided to go back to grad school. that meant moving from your hometown to the big smoke - new york. and of course, keeho came with you, easily finding a corporate job in the financial centre of the world

it was hard adjusting though, if you were being truly honest. the big city was filled with people, yet you often felt yourself feeling more alone than ever before.

luckily, you had keeho right by your side. he was there for you when you struggled through early classes and late nights; he was there to cook and make sure you ate your meals on time during exam season, and he was even there to wipe away your tears when you faced hurdles completing your research. keeho, truly, a supportive bf we stan!!!

anyways - point is. you missed your close friends and family back home

but you were lowkey dreading this dinner. having to answer questions like “how are you” and “what are you doing for work or school” repeatedly seemed a bit overwhelming. the dinner was a mini-reunion of some uni classmates - a group of around ten who all took the same classes as you and keeho and mostly stuck together to study, do assignments, practice for interviews, help each other with applications etc.

it wasn’t like you weren’t close, it’s just… you definitely weren’t besties, and let’s just say you weren’t the most social person in the room

keeho was the opposite. your boyfriend was a social butterfly; a classic extrovert. always able to blend into any social setting and talk to anyone about any topic under the sky

you however, took awhile to warm up to people, and even then, you found yourself craving your alone time more than anything. keeho liked to tease you and said you have a small social battery – you just ran out of charge quicker than others (and there’s nothing wrong with that, he’d always remind you)

but with this particular friend group, you always had the sneaking suspicion that they were only keeping you around because you were the nerd; the smart friend. the one everyone wanted to pair up with in a group assignment because they knew you would hard carry the team. the one who everyone approached for study notes in the hopes of performing as well as you did in the finals. the one everyone was jealous of… the one who got used and subsequently thrown away

that was probably why you haven’t spoken to any of them in years, with the exception of keeho ofc, and the bride-to-be, yoonhee

before you knew it, you arrived at the restaurant. yoonhee was always a big fan of italian food, so it was no surprise that she picked one of the finest italian eateries in new york for the dinner

despite your obvious personality differences, yoonhee was one of the only girls in the friend group who actually took the time to get to know you. she was outgoing and outspoken like the other girls, but also had a hardworking, studious side that came out during important events like interviews or exams. she wasn’t a big fan of drinking (like you) and usually accompanied you on the sodas or lemonades at drinking events. importantly, she also shared similar hobbies to you. in particular, she loved reading, and the two of you used to exchange book recommendations in between classes and visited bookshops together

you were genuinely happy that your friend was tying the knot, but as you stood in front of the door, you had to take a few deep breaths to calm your nerves (you tried to hype yourself up: dont be a chicken, y/n! these are just your old classmates. you will be fine)

pushing open the doors, you gave the waiter your name and followed them into the crowded restaurant. the smell of woodfired pizzas and sizzling garlic invaded your senses as they led you towards the back of the restaurant where the group congregated

immediately, yoonhee spotted you and let out an excited squeal. “y/n!!!!” she ran forward to engulf you in a warm hug. “i’m so glad you made it!”

you couldn’t help the smile that worked its way on your lips. her energy was always infectious. “it’s great to see you too, and congratulations!” you replied sincerely, returning her hug. when the two of you pulled away, you handed her your present. “from me and keeho.”

“ooohhhh!” she said teasingly, “you and keeho? you’re still going steady, then?” she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, before accepting your gift. “thank you for this, you didn’t have to.”

you shook your head, “yeah, it’s nothing big. but we hope you’ll like it.” 

“let’s go say hi to the others! you haven’t seen them in awhile, right? oh! and i’ve got to re-introduce you to my fiance!!!!”

you let your friend lead you to the larger group, and thanks to her, you felt yourself ease into the group’s conversation. whilst you still missed having keeho by your side, yoonhee did a great job at helping you navigate social situations, just like when you were back in uni

the food and conversation flowed continuously, and you found yourself actually enjoying yourself. who would’ve thought? you almost forgot why or what you were so concerned about earlier today

and as the current conversation about astronomical rent prices and how impossible it was to live affordably in new york eventually died down, one of them turned to you and asked, “so, y/n. you came alone? are you and keeho…” he trailed off, unsure of how to phrase his question

“intak!” his best friend, jongseob, hissed as he elbowed him in the ribs. 

“actually-” yoonhee began on your behalf,

but you answered, “actually, he’s late. work’s been really busy, so he had to stay back a bit. he should be here soon though.” you replied, with even more confidence than you initially expected. both your answer and your tone left the group pleasantly surprised. this was not the same y/n they knew from university, clearly.

“you’re still together!” another guy, theo, cheered from the edge of the table. theo always liked to claim that he played matchmaker and introduced the two of you, back in the day. “what can i say, i really am the best cupid in the matchmaking business.”

“so, when are you guys getting married?” yoonhee asked with a sly smile. “it’s been, what? four years? surely you’ve talked about it.”

“well actually, we –”

“guys!!!” a familiar voice yelled from behind you, stealing everyone’s attention. keeho sure knew how to make an entrance. “it’s been too long, boys!”

after five minutes of hugging everyone at the table and exchanging pleasantries, keeho finally circled around to you and yoonhee. he took his seat next to you, instinctively resting a warm hand on your waist, and turned to yoonhee, “congratulations! did y/n pass you the gift? you’re gonna love it - we’re the best at gift-giving.”

yoonhee laughed in response. “youre talking it up way too much, yoon keeho. it seems like you haven’t changed at all. and thank you, she did! i can’t wait to open it.”

keeho shook hands with yoonhee’s fiance and exchanged small talk about work, as they were both in the same field. you watched silently as they talked, happy to take the backseat and just listen in, as you usually did with keeho by your side

when the conversation reached a lull, keeho felt your eyes on him, and squeezed your waist in response. “hey.” he said in a low voice, for your ears only. the two of you faced each other and smiled, escaping to your own world. “sorry i was late, it’s been a really busy day.”

“it’s okay…” you trailed off, eyes wandering around the table as you finally realised, “it wasn’t that bad.”

keeho chuckled, “see? you did it. i could tell you were nervous on the phone, but you did it. i’m proud of you.” he leaned forward slightly to press his lips against your hair, as a reward.

“i had help. yoonhee’s great.” you replied sheepishly, eyes downcast as you felt shy 

“yeah but coming to a social gathering after a long day of classes and having to actually interact and talk to people? that’s all you, baby.” keeho countered, wanting to give you credit for your efforts. to many, it didnt seem like a big deal. but he knew you. it’s not easy for you to feel comfortable in these situations, especially when you were alone, or tired. he understood that you needed to recharge by being on your own, and that being around people for too long could be draining.

“i suppose…”

keeho hummed in response, “also,” he tilted your chin so you would look up at him. “i missed you.” he smiled sweetly before capturing your lips in a sweet kiss.

“yah! yoon keeho! y/n! pda is not allowed here! geez, go get a room!” theo teased, causing the table to erupt in laughter

you felt the tips of your ears light up, but it seemed like keeho had other plans. he pulled your chair even closer to him with one hand and shoved the middle finger up with the other; all whilst gliding his lips smoothly against yours

[ryuluvr]

jealousy.

wlw, nsft / smut, ryujin x fem reader.

summary: your possessive best friend shin ryujin catches you flirting with a friend at a uni house party and decides to act on how she feels in an attempt to show you who you belong to.

requested? yes. (i accidentally deleted the ask ugh im sorry! you know who u are and ty for suggesting this!)

warnings: dom!ryu, sub!reader, slight drinking, rough sex, public sex, fingering, overstimulation, degradation, possessiveness, toxicity.

word count: 1.8k

tonight was the night of one of your friends’ house parties. you’ve never seen their home, and quite frankly you aren’t even that close, but turning down your first university party of the year was not happening on your watch. you previously shot your best friend ryujin a quick text asking if she’ll attend with you and she immediately agreed, also stating she’d wait and meet you outside the party location.

ryujin always made sure she was by your side no matter what you guys were doing together, whether it’s eating lunch on campus, walking to class, studying, shopping, everything. she isn’t your roommate but might as well be with the amount of time she spends in your dorm with you. she has always seemed pretty possessive of you and you could never come up with a reason why. it’s not like you even have super touchy friends that would make her feel that threatened. but nonetheless, you loved the attention; it made you feel cared for and wanted.

once a couple hours passed and your hair and makeup was done, you stepped out your dorm and locked the door behind you, swinging your little black handbag over your shoulder as you made your way outside. the sun had already set and it was beginning to get dark outside, the sharp cold breeze flowing through your hair. upon arriving you remember to wait outside for your best friend but she’s nowhere to be seen. the music blasts outside every time someone walks through the front door and you suddenly catch one of your close friends stepping out to greet you with an expected sweet smile.

“i’m so glad you could make it!” your friend marina raises her voice slightly so you can hear her over all the noise around, her right hand reaching out to touch your arm enough for you to slightly flinch. you could tell she was at least a little bit intoxicated already. “hey, come in! let’s get you a drink!”

and with that you headed straight for the white marble island in the kitchen which showed off the wide selection of drinks, your eyes soon settling on some archers and lemonade, your favourite. after downing one glass, desperate for that warm fuzzy feeling, you feel someone grab your hand and lead you to the plush couch, plopping yourself down where there’s room. it was, of course, marina. the house was extremely crowded, bodies everywhere with barely any room to move, let alone breathe. you could feel marina’s eyes on you even when you weren’t looking in her direction, her gaze practically burning into your skin.

“i have to say, your outfit is sooo cute.” the other girl began to compliment you, turning slightly to face her and noticing her blatantly checking you out from head to toe.

“yeah?” your tone was playful as you tilted your head to one side with a slight smile, taking this moment to notice her fit as well. she was wearing a slim black dress — the way it hugged her curves making you exhale deeply and look down to her hand now resting on your thigh just under where your pleated skirt ended. “i think you look pretty good yourself.” you added, eyes meeting once more.

marina parted her lips to speak but decided to remain silent. instead, her thumb began lightly rubbing your soft skin which only made your heart race in response. you were both tipsy at this point and couldn’t care less about what was happening. hell, you could only just hear each others voices over the music vibrating through the room. the girls hand attempted to move up under your skirt before you suddenly got pulled up by your wrist, yelping from the harsh tug. all you could see was the back of this girl as she quite literally dragged you away, but that’s all you needed to recognise her. it was your best friend, shin ryujin.

your eyebrows furrowed together in confused as she yanks you harshly into the bedroom at the top of the steep stairs, almost tripping in your heels a few times on your way there. “ryu- what?!” the music mostly gets drowned out once ryujin slams the door shut, pushing you back into it with a slight thud.

“so not only do you not wait for me like planned, you decide to flirt with other girls inside without me knowing?” ryujin’s voice is loud as she speaks, throwing up her hands and stepping closer to you. her vibe immediately makes you nervous, but you still need answers. “what do you mean? why does it-” ryujin cuts you off by pressing her lips roughly against yours, her dominant hand gripping onto your shoulder hard enough to leave a mark. your heart skips a beat. this is the last thing you expected from her despite her possessive history. after all, she’s only a friend.

you decide to break the kiss and pull away, turning your head away from her. ryujin’s lips began making their way to your exposed neck, a dark chuckle escaping them. “i want you more than she ever could.” her voice is lower this time, the feeling of her hot breath and her soft lips brushing against your skin causing you to shudder in place. “i have no idea what made you think that was okay. you’re mine, got it?”

immediately your mindset shifted. you didn’t even know she liked women, it was nothing she ever mentioned before. before you could reply to her with probably more questions, you felt ryujin move her hand from your shoulder to under your skirt, deciding to hold it up and out the way for her, at this point not even thinking in the slightest. your lips parted once ryujin pressed her palm against your core, her fingers running along your entrance from over your underwear.

“so wet already, huh? you like being thrown about like a doll?” ryujin growled against your neck, her lips curling up into a devious smirk once she felt you try to close your legs as if to get away from her touch. “such a dirty girl.” the sudden multiple taps to your covered pussy made you whimper, feeling your cheeks become hot with flush due to the embarrassment. your mind was so empty you could barely speak, only whines and other various noises escaping you.

“i’ll teach you how to behave, how about that?” then, without any warning, ryujin slides her hand into your underwear and teases your entrance, coating her fingers in your juices. it doesn’t take many seconds before one of her fingers is inside of you, slowly sliding in and out as if to tease you. ryujin makes her head level to yours once more as you hold onto her for support, your knees beginning to feel extremely weak. the woman suddenly stops, causing you to whine in her ear, deciding to wait a few seconds before pumping back into it except with more force this time. she pushes her finger in as far as she could, eager for you to take the whole length, and even more desperate to add a second one. “come on, baby. you can take it. it’s what you wanted, right?”

ryujin adds a second finger once she knows you can allow it, attempting to sloppily kiss you despite the series of moans leaving your lips, making it anything but easy for her. as ryujin’s hand slaps against your clit with every thrust you feel yourself reach closer and closer to your limit. once she noticed your hardened nipples from under your clothes, all thanks to no bra, her free hand grabs onto your crop top and slides it up over your breasts to expose them. your moans only become louder with every moment that passes, the feeling of your best friends tongue now running along your nipples making you clench around her slender fingers. “fuck- ryujin!” you scream out in pleasure as you come undone on her fingers which keep their fast pace the entire time. sucking on your nipples as she fucks you through your climax, you hear her deeply groan just from the site of you.

she soon slides her fingers out of you and you notice she’s no longer finding it amusing like before. her eyes look dark and heavy, and she maintains eye contact with you while she licks her fingers clean. you barely have time to catch your breath before she pulls down your panties and and drags you to the double bed which she soon pushes you down onto.

“i’m not finished with you yet.” the woman’s voice is no louder than a whisper this time. you try to slide up the bed to rest your head on a pillow but ryujin grips onto your hips to keep you in place, desperate to take you once more, here and now. after she flicks your skirt up to expose your aching pussy, she lifts up your legs and spreads your thighs, her body now level with you. she decides to start off by licking up any juices by your entrance, her nose slightly brushing against your clit making you whimper and try to move away.

“ryujin, i’m too sensitive, i can’t go again. please.” your pathetic begging only pushes ryujin over the edge, not hesitating for a second to wrap her lips around your sensitive bundle of nerves and lightly suck. you immediately moan and buck your hips up in response, writhing on the bed due to the sensitivity. “i said, i’m not done with you yet.” ryujin’s tone stayed harsh and dominant, the slight vibration of her voice against your cunt causing you to throw your head back into the bed. at this point, you did not care about the sensitivity, you just wanted to cum again because of her, and it wouldn’t take you long at all.

ryujin continues to eat you out as she digs her black painted nails into your soft thighs, your moans only fuelling her to keep up the pace. her tongue moves around your throbbing clit, flicking it as you buck up your hips into her pretty face. you try your best to hold it out but it feels practically impossible. it just feels too good.

“fuck- i’m close, please!” you scream out in pure pleasure, your best friends tongue now entering you, fucking you with it. your back arches up off the bed and your eyes squeeze shut as you come in her mouth, ryujin moving her attention back to your clit straight after. your whole body twitches and shakes on the bed as you come down from your high, soon watching ryujin stand up from the bed and lick whats left of your juices on her lips. once it hits you what just happened, your immediately close your legs in embarrassment, sitting up despite how weak you felt. you still have the party downstairs to attend again.

“talk to her again and i won’t be so nice next time, yeah?”

[jinnie-ret]

the wisp sings

jeongin x fem!reader

genre: very angsty

warnings: hanahaki disease, idk grab a tissue maybe especially if you listen to the song at the same time

word count: 1.6k

summary: jeongin never confesses his love to you and it's to his own detriment that he becomes exhausted

requested by: @skzoologist

1K FOLLOWERS PLAYLIST 💚🖤

MAIN MASTERLIST

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Jeongin loved roses. Such soft, velvety petals, held up strong and protected from harm by thorns that could cause you that very thing. He thought they were beautiful, and didn't care if his thumbs always tingled slightly from the amounts of times he pricked them whilst trimming the flowers down. It was a reminder that he could feel something. Something other than longing and heartache.

"Wow! These are gorgeous! And you picked pink ones too? I bet it's because I said they're my favourite ones, hmm?"

Every time she visited her best friend's dorm, she found instant comfort in the light floral scents that drifted around the apartment. It was so pure, so welcoming, so... gorgeous. It summed up Jeongin wonderfully. And on top of that, it distracted her from the fact the dial on his love meter was slowly dwindling down, day by day.

"Anything for you."

The love meter was something everyone could see. A holographic vision that hovered above your head, a dial ranging from one end, a satisfied, content heart, to a dangerously lifeless one. People really lived to love, in this world. Those who were lucky to live alongside the ones they had fallen for, got to love. There was no burden of worrying if the dial would waver down to the dreaded grey heart, instead, a beating heart seen above them. It was the type of love that left couples in a state of being unable to speak without a smile.

How Jeongin wished that was how he could live.

She was oblivious, to a lot of things, but mainly his feelings for her. The way he would get lost in her eyes, searching deeply, an imploring look upon his face. If only she could realise the feelings she returned, rather than remaining in some sort of limbo. The dial on her love meter remained firmly in the middle because as far as she was aware, there wasn't anyone she loved so deeply for it to move either side.

"Have you ever wondered why we were born in a world like this? It feels a bit, scary sometimes, don't you think? That we rely on finding the perfect person to survive?"

He wanted a life, a long life, where everyone could see their hearts happily floating above their heads, where they could share story after story, moment after moment, together.

"I don't know... there's something so painfully beautiful about it..."

It was often they had late night chats, sneaking up onto the rooftop when the campus security wasn't lurking. Taking in the starry sky, one of them admiring the peace and the other praying they wouldn't be joining them soon. Oddly enough, they hadn't done so in a while, Jeongin not turning up to their uni classes, concerning her deeply.

"Jeongin? I've brought you some leftover kimchi, your favourite. Jeongin?" she called out as she entered his apartment, having a spare key card they managed to trick the accomodation into giving when Jeongin's 'broke'.

Quiet. Too quiet. Worryingly, the usually pristine roses were wilting slightly, petals scattered across the kitchen unit in a wet path.

"You've really made a mess with these roses this time..." she sighed with a slight laugh, placed down her tupperware box of food on the side and entering the lounge. Immediately, she rushed to her best friend's side, alarmed to see him trapped in a coughing fit, sweat beading across his forehead.

"What's wrong? Tell me," she frowned, brushing his hair back out of his face.

"My meter... Can't you tell?" Jeongin mumbled weakly, a defeated look on his face.

In that moment, a something shattered within her, noticing that the dial on his love meter was wavering towards the faded, lifeless side. It was running low.

"What... No... You'll be ok, we'll find a solution to this, you're my best friend, I can't let you suffer like this..."

Little did she know the dial moved further down the slightest bit when she uttered those words...

Best friend.

She didn't feel like a very good friend when she was suddenly swamped in her university assignment. She texted every hour she was awake, just for that reassurance Jeongin was still with her. But when the replies became less frequent, there was obviously something wrong.

Rushing to his apartment one afternoon, she panted, hands resting on her knees as she pushed the front door open, letting it slam behind her.

"Jeongin?!" she called out desperately, hoping for a response. She didn't get one. Instead there was the harrowing sight of petals scattered across the wooden floors, leading to his bedroom. In any other situation, it would look incredibly romantic, yet the fate of this world created a vision of death and mourning.

Frail and weak, Jeongin was wheezing from his shivering form in bed. The duvet was messily strewn and his pillows were damp with sweat. Most frighteningly, he was pale, sallow.

"No, no, ok, Jeongin, you'll be ok, I'll get you some help," she grasped his hand tightly, kissing his knuckles gently was tightly gripping her phone as she rang for an ambulance.

It wasn't until the paramedics wheeled him out of the room on a stretcher, that she found a folded piece of paper, her name scribbled across it messily, like the writer barely had a grip of the pen. Sniffling with tears appearing in her eyes, it wasn't until Jeongin was rushed off into a private room, with mutterings from the nurses of 'a bad case of Hanahaki Disease', that she was able to read the letter. There wasn't any chance in the ambulance for she was too busy begging the cruel gods above for them to give her best friend a second chance.

I didn't want this to happen, but I knew as time went on, things would probably end this way. And I would like you to love me, but I'd never force that upon you. So instead, I thought I'd tell you all the things I love about you, because you're who I live for.

I love the way you cackle when I do something clumsy, makes it hurt less, I suppose.

"Jeongin, you pabo!" she cackled loudly, clutching her chest and trying to catch her breath as she watched him trip over the rug and bump his leg on the corner of his coffee table.

"Who put that there?!" Jeongin cried out, a smile tugged on his lips nonetheless.

"You bought it, silly!"

I love the way you care for others, how you're so selfless, especially with me.

"Kimchi at your surface!"

"Oh my, you must be sleep deprived... You mean at your service?"

"Do you want it or not?"

"Let's eat together, come on, sit."

"I'm fine I've got to go and-"

"Sit down and eat with me, or so help me I will physically restrain you."

"Yes sir."

"I-"

She continued to read the letter, paragraph after paragraph until she reached the last part.

I am tired of this grief. I think these are the cards I've been dealt with and I'm ok with that now. I'm happy to have experienced life with you.

I love you, forever.

Sobs ripped through her throat, body crumpling in the uncomfortable chair of the hospital waiting room. The feeling of impending grief so overwhelming, she didn't notice the raised eyebrows from others as her dial furiously turned towards a full, illuminating heart above her head.

Her feet pounded down the hallways, stray hairs invading her vision where everything felt like a blur. She needed to find him. Because she realised it now, she felt it.

Love.

"I get it now! Please! Don't take him away from me!" she begged, blurry figures of the nurses trying to hold her back but she struggled like a wild animal, needing him. "Please!"

They tried to soothe her, to calm her down, but they stopped when they saw the meter with the dial turned all the way up. And with that, she rushed to hold the love of her life, hands softly cradling his face, cold to the touch.

"It's ok, you'll be ok. Just let me sleep, love," Jeongin whispered with a sad smile, eyes fluttering slightly, heart monitor beeping ever so slowly. He looked drained, almost as much as his love meter was.

"No! I love you! And I'm sorry it's taken me so long to realise but-"

"You don't have to say these things, really. I get it, and that's ok."

It wasn't ok. Not to her.

With determination and sadness coursing through her veins, she pulls him towards her and connects their lips together. Passion and warmth flooded within her, and when she pulled away she was worried she had done the wrong thing when the meter above his head disappeared. However, seeing that smile light up his face, and bring new life to his eyes, told her the answer she needed.

"You're not leaving me. I can't let that happen," she sniffled, hugging him tightly.

"I'm here, you're here... I love you so much," Jeongin's voice cracked with a tinge of disbelief.

The nurses still left in the room watched on in amazement, mesmerised at the sight before them, two beating hearts, floating above the couple's heads. Pink. With a twinkle too.

Love was what let them truly live. You've got to nurture that flower within, and let it blossom, let it bloom. It dies when you start giving up, losing hope. But someone will come along to look after it, and just like that there is warmth in the world again. Hearts full of life, beating with newfound excitement at the love it is filled with.

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top listeners: @skz-streamer @kiraisastay @hannahhbahng @kpopmenace143 @sakufilms @kailee08 @arloo00 @dunno-wut-to-do @splat00z @cheesemonky @his-angell @turtledove824 @2minstan @royal-shinigami @yangbbokari @skzoologist @channiesbunny26 @atinyniki @writingforstraykids @minholing @lilmisssona @astraysimp @lixie-phoria

[curvykittyyssmutfics]

Oh what about a cheating smut fic where tony is married to pepper and he starts to have a sexual affair towards his daughter morgan's hot babysitter, reader

Babygirl

Friday, 4pm

I check the time on my dainty Cartier watch, walkin in circles around my squad as I zero in on every move, every flip, and every damn high kick. They're phenomal as ever, still I need to make sure we're on point for the next game. Squatting low, I assess how one of my girls back up and shows that flexibility by bending backwards with palms outstretched to the ground. She ends the number with a smooth sensual backflip into the splits, ofcourse poppin each ass cheek individually. I cheer and ofcourse give my girl, along with the crew, a standin ovation.

"Excellent muthafukin job per usual, owwwww!" I mimick my bitch Cardi and I clap for my amazing team.

My cell rings from the bleachers a few feet away. Im tired, plus that might be Mr. Stark and I know better than to ignore; it's definitely time to call it a day.

"Listen up my beautiful people, we done for the day. But, side note, please don't forget to team up with your cheer buddy as many times as needed before the game to make sure each of you got the routine down pact. If you have any questions, hit my line. Aight y'all."

A few hugs goodbye and smacks to my rear, I'm able to grab my phone and check my missed calls. Fuck.. The butterflies in my tummy are instantaneous as I read 'Tony Stark' across my screen. No matter how many times he calls it never fails to make me wanna squeal and do a few back flips of my own.

I hit the send button and redial him as I chew on my bottom lip nervously. It only does half a ring before his sexy voice speaks through the phone.

"Hey, there's my other favorite girl. Where are you? You busy?"

It's just like Tony to be all in my business, even though he was my employer, not father. There wasn't a thing he didn't know about me after being Morgan's babysitter for over 3 years now.

"Why no, Daddy, I'm not busy." I tease him with a giggle. "I'm at uni right now. Just finished practice. Why, wassup?"

The silence lastin just a second too long before he clears his throat and answers.

"You uh.. Just finished cheer practice?" He repeats slowly.

"Yeah, literally just a second ago. Gonna change and head home. Why, you need me?" I ask concerned.

"I do honey, need you to come watch Morgan for the weekend. Peppers outta town for business and I'll be here but not here. You available for me pretty girl?"

The way he speaks to makes my heart wanna dive out my damn chest, especially when his wife's not around. His already pampering nature amplifies he and doesn't seem to able to resist calling me those sweet lil nicknames that make me weak in the knees.

"Yes Mr. Stark. Always, anything for you." I breathe back, thighs clenching at the way the tone of his voice is starting to get me aroused.

"Perfect. And call me Tony, you know better honey." He gently scolds. "Anyway, I'm sending a car to come get you immediately."

I hear him snap his fingers over the phone and assume that's his way of sending me a ride.

"But I'll need to go home and grab a some things to stay for a few days." I remind him.

"No. I want you here as soon as possible. I already have someone on their way to you." His response leaves no room for argument, so I don't even bother.

"Ok then, catch you inna minute. And tell Morgan I can wait to see her."

"You got it babygirl. See you soon."

I hang up, grabbing my Nike backpack and head to the pick up area in front of the school. Fuck, another weekend with Tony Stark. Let's see how long it takes before I drench my panties when I get in his presence this time.

45 mins later

I arrive to Tony's mansion relieved to finally get to see my 2 favorite people in the world. They're waiting for me at the front door with big smiles, Tony holding Morgan on his back. She lightly kicks outwards to get free from her father. He happily sets her down and she runs up to me excitedly wearing the cutest ladybug bathing suit. Wrapping her tiny arms around my waist, she hugs me affectionately. I bend and hug her back just as tight and tell her how happy I am to see her.

"Daddy says your staying all weekend, is that true?" She inquires, nose scrunched making her the spitting image of her father.

"Yes, I am. Us girls are gonna have a blast. I was thinking tomorrow I could paint your nails and then maybe you could paint mine? I'd love your help picking out a cute color, what do ya think?"

"Let's just go get a manicure." She rebuttals smartly, taking my hand and dragging me to the front door. I barely have a second to grab my backpack!

"Or there's that." I laugh and wave goodbye to Tony's driver as Morgan pulls me past her father to the pool.

"Guess Daddy will catch you guys later." Tony chuckles, watching us amused.

"Guess so Daddy." I don't get a chance to catch the way his nostrils flare a bit or how he licks his lips at my statement as he watches his daughter steer me away.

Her and I have a blast in the pool for a couple hours, Morgan even more so as I sit on the edge with just my feet in. She shows me how well she's gotten a swimming since the last time we saw each other. It's beyond obvious her practice is paying off; my best lil buds gonna be ready for competitions in no time.

After, Tony brings us hot cheesy pizza for dinner as she grabs his laptop and shows me how to do the newest tik tok dance challenges that she and her friends like the most. We lay by the pool eat and laugh together as all the goofy and cool new trends come up. It just surprises me that a young girl can navigate the platform so efficiently. The smartie pants even makes me an account so I can keep up with what she's up to.

"Alright, little girl. Its 7:30, time to go to sleep. We'll do a bath in the morning. Go brush your teeth and get into your pjs. Daddy and I'll be by to say goodnight when your done."

The good girl that Morgan is, she kisses my cheek and skips off into the house. I quickly clean up our mess and head off to search for Tony.

When I find him it's 7:45 and he's laid out on the couch in one of his dens, arm thrown tiredly over his face. I think he's asleep from his even breaths, the calm rise and fall of his athletic bare chest. Fuck he makes my mouth water the way he lays with his legs spread wide, wearing only a pair of soft cotton light grey sweats low on his hips. His toned tummy and the thin line of his happy trail entice me to come closer for a better look and I'm right behind him in an instant. Goddam the bulge of his cock looks girthy as fuck.

I reach out and lightly massage at his shoulders, bending for just a moment to whisper at his ear.

"Its time for Daddy to go say goodnight."

Tony removes his arm and gazes up at me tiredly. The short low groan helps activate the already swirling storm in my gut. There's no way my panties aren't wet.

"Ok, honey. Let's go." Sitting up a few inches before pausing as Jarvis begins to speak.

"Actually Mr. Stark, Morgan has been asleep for 3 minutes 26 seconds. I predict she will not be awake for another 10 and a half hours sir."

"Thanks." Daddy relaxes into my touch again before speaking again.

"Hey Jarvis?"

"Yes, Mr. Stark?"

"Take a walk."

"Yes sir."

There's a quiet beep signaling the AI's exit as I continue to massage Tony's strong shoulders.

"Come here, beautiful. Come sit on Daddy's lap, let's talk." He requests gently.

I know we've been crossing some kinda boundary the way we speak to one another, but if I do as he asks this'll be a clear violation in his marriage. I don't wanna cause harm to Tony in any way, in fact I ache to make him happy however I can. That desire in itself is probably what has me toeing of my shoes and plopping my round ass cheeks right on his dick before I have another thought.

He's half hard and I'm baffled how I didn't notice because he's already so thick. The first press of my pussy against it has me biting my lip and pushin again and again to mimic the pressure on my clit. My breath puffs out as I hold back a moan at the feeling. Christ, I'm throbbing in need and I've sittin in his lap for a total of 5 seconds.

"Did my 2 favorite girls have fun?" Tony asks seemingly unaffected..

Except when i squint it seems his breath accelerates just a bit through his slightly open mouth, warm strong chest rising and falling just a fraction faster. His palms slide underneath my skirt to the top of my thighs, tenderly rubbing in a circular motion as I lightly hump at his cock.

"So much fun, Daddy. I'm kinda tired though, long day. Obviously not long as yours. You look exhausted. You ok?"

He only tilts his head and offers a small shrug.

"I kinda feel better now that I get to see my little cheer captain in her sexy uniform." Tony leers up at me with a smirk before winkin, making me bust out in laughter.

"So how's classes sweetheart? You doin okay?"

"I am, first semester was a bit difficult but I got the ropes now. I'm a fuckin superstar." I brag with a smile.

"That's great honey, glad to hear it." He replies warmly, rotating his hips in circles against me.

"Still don't ever forget that I gotta blank check with your name on it. Matter fact, you're not leavin here this weekend without it. Got it?" He asks sternly, lookin directly into my soul.

"Yes Daddy." I answer without a second thought.

"Good girl." He praises, moaning low in his throat at my swift movements.

"Well.." I lean forward till our lips are almost touching and look deep into his pretty eyes. "What can I do to make Daddy feel better?"

Tony breaks first. He roughly presses his lips to mine, sucking and kissing as he holds me in place with one hand on the back of head. The other hand grips my thigh firmly as he dominates our kiss passionately. His fine ass licks into my mouth while groaning, sucking on the tip of my tongue as I moan loud and frantically crush our pelvis' together. He gives me one nip to my lips before speaking against them.

"Make Daddy cum, sweetheart."

"How?" I ask nervously, pulling back to look into his hazy eyes.

"Any way you want gorgeous."

My hips come to a halt as I think for a moment before sliding off his lap to my knees and greedily soakin in the growl he emits when he notices the wet spot I left on his crotch.

Pulling my medium sized perky tits through the designed slit at the bottom of my cheer top, showing him stiff pierced nipples. A small slim chain hangs between my breasts, connecting the 2 piercings. I shake my titties at him, smiling at his hypnotized glazed stare at my supple chest.

"Fuck my tits." I demand, slightly dipping my head forward to let a generous glob of spit splat between them.

There's no need to ask twice as Tony hastily snatches his dick from his sweats and slides it between my round brown orbs. He relaxes back into the deep navy blue sectional while I press my breasts together to surround his thick shaft and begin with slow strokes. Biting those delicious lips, his head dips further into the couch as he watches me through slits. Daddy looks so fucking good as he fights the pleasure enveloping his dick.

"Hoooooh, fu- AH! Jesus y/n, feels so good. Thank you, pretty girl. Ohfuck! Just what I needed. Mmmm.. Yeah, yeah just like thaaat.."

His arms hang limp at his sides as he lets me unravel him. Poor baby, his eyes don't know where to look, darting from my dark nipples to his big fat dick stabbing up through the swell of my breasts. I take a mental picture of the way he loses his mind in my body, hips coming up erratically to meet my downward thrusts.

"You like slipping your fat cock between my titties, Daddy?" I ask innocently, squeezing his dick a bit more firmly.

"Ah, ah, yes babygirl! N-never felt this gooood!" He sputters back to me.

"Glad you're enjoying yourself. Though the other option was to lay on my back, spread open my legs and wet little pussy to you. Let you be the judge of which hole of mine you wanted.. first.."

I speed up my slippery tits, fucking his twitching cock from base to tip at a quick steady pace. The spit turned out to be the perfect lubricate as he easily plunges his dick between my tits.

"Oh fuck little girl, so goddamn perfect for me- haaaashit! Ahhaaaa, fuck! Ohmyfuckinggod y/n want that so bad. N-need to fuck every inch of you honey.."

His hands ball into fists as he widens his stance, giving me ample room to work. Those gorgeous eyes roll back into his head as he gasps at the sensation building in his groin.

"Yes, yes, yes! Please! Letmefuckyouhoney! P-please, need to cum y/n. Aaaaaaahfuuuuuck! Haven't cum in months. Pleasepleaseplease, will do anything sweetheart!"

Now completely understanding Tony's absolute desperation, my cunt flutters as his pleas to feel my pussy double and rise in volume. I slam my tits onto his dick repeatedly, loud wet smacking intermixed with his sobs.

"How long Daddy? Exactly how long since you sprayed your thick milky cream outta this big fat ass cock?" I ask, leaning to give kitten licks to the wide flushed tip.

I moan animatedly at the taste of the salty precum dripping from his leaky dick. It's so fucking addicting that I hungrily slurp on the head of his dick. His abs ripple as his body trembles through the onslaught.

"Almost a-Haaa! FUCK! Almostayeeeear! Ohshitohshit, gonna c-cum babygirl!"

Fuck that's way too damn long, so I resolve to not make him wait a second longer to fill up a wet and willing pussy.

"Yeeees ah, ah, ahhhh- wait! What the fuck?Come back here little girl!"

I giggle as I duck away from his hands swiping to pull my back towards his equally enraged dick. I scoot back on the plush white carpet, pulling off my squort and parting my shapely cocoa thighs. He's so immediately entranced at me spreading my pussy lips with one hand as I crook my finger and invite him over with the other.

"Oh fuck me, thank you sweetheart. Love you so much babygirl, you don't even know. Your my perfect girl, wish you were my wife instead honey."

I don't know if Tony knows he's speaking as he clumsily takes his place between my legs but the admission warms my heart.. And my pussy. I kiss his neck and hold him tight as he thanks me profusely for letting him inside.

He aims his dick at my pulsing little hole, tapping my clit twice before slipping about an inch of his dick inside. I keen at the stretch, whining and pulling at him for more but apparently that's all Daddy needs. Slamming his eyes shut, he hunches over me going completely feral and unloads months and months worth of frustration into me.

"Yea-eeeees, little girl! Lemme breed my favorite girl. Haaaaa fuck! Feels like heaven, cantstophoney! Ah, ah, ah, so gooood y/n. Love you much! So so so much!"

I relish how fucking whiny he becomes as he releases heavy splats of cum against my walls. The pressure of his load makes me moan like a whore underneath him as he holds me to his carpet by my shoulders and gives us both what we need.

"That's it Daddy, fill me up. Make me take your cum. I want all of it, yeeeees! Don't waste a drop, gimme my cream pleeeeease. My wet little kitty wants to drink up a thick dose of your milk Daddy, gimme!"

The force of Tony's nut stuns him but his fluttering lid reopens as he gazes at my face. Even through his flismy focus he stares at the sloppy saliva spattered on my tits and tummy down to where his dick splits me open wide.

It's my turn to become distressed as I hump at the rock hard cock dripping the last few drops of his load into my greedy cunt. Neither of us hear the front door open in our opposite state of minds; or the footsteps clicking towards our location.

"What the fuck?!" Peppers deranged voice echoes throughout the dim den making us jumps, the cock piercin me unintentionally stabbing a few inches deeper.

I wail in fucking pure delight, nails scratching down Tony's back as he immediately seethes at her entrance. It's clear he's not happy she interrupted our private moment. Still, his dick remains stiff as fuck inside me.

Lookin up at his wife with disdain, brows still pinched from the feeling of my pussy clutching at him hungrily, he demands that she leave.

Maybe it's time for Daddy to get a divorce..

[billybangbang]

Fuck, he has a beard

Billy Butcher x reader

In this story, I made Becca Butcher's sister just because I can but also I think it would be interesting to see how he would be especially with a reader who acts like a big sister to Hughie.

Summary: Hughie is on a revenge path and Butcher is more than happy to help. He lost someone to the Supes too. His sister Becca. They came from an abusive household and after Lenny's death, Butcher gets his sister out of there too. The two moved to New York where Becca gets a job at Vought and soon after goes missing. Y/N older cousin of Hughie, wants to cheer him up with some takeout. She wants to have some dinner in the store after closing when some invisible shit decides otherwise. Entrance of some devilish handsome man named Butcher.

Y/N: She/her

Without describing the reader, I use neutral language as possible. However, some character traits:

The reader is older than Hughie

the cousin of Hughie

Due to some struggles early on in life she had a late start to Uni

She is over the normal college age but still doing her Master's

Disability struggles mentioned such as anxiety and later on going deeper into this issue and where her anxiety comes from

Slowburn and I mean SLOW.

Warnings Overall for the story: nudity, violence, sexual content, blood, gore, all the boys warnings basically. Smut in later chapters.

Non-native English speaker, and dyslexic

Prolog 

You were walking to your next class when you got the call. “Something happened to Robin.” You immediately felt your heart drop. The voice on the other side was shaky. Breathing in deeply you moved out of the mass of students trying to get to their next class. “Is - is she okay?” You watched the other students walk past you with smiles on their faces, chatting excitedly or sipping on their Chai Latte. All the while, you tried to hold it together, forcing a smile on your face even though your heart was pounding so hard you swore it would jump out of your chest any minute. “Y/N, she is dead.” Just like that, your younger cousin's girlfriend was gone. 

Today was Robin's funeral. God you hated funerals they made you so uncomfortable. Everyone was solemn and sad. But mostly, you hated to show your own feelings but whenever someone was crying you could not help but get choked up yourself. For the most part you had your hands interlocked pressed together to give you something else to focus on. Trying to breathe in slowly, easy, and steady. 

“Do you want me to come back with you, Hughie?” He just shook his head, his eyes red rimmed. He hadn’t spoken much since Robin’s death. Sometimes you wondered if he was still in shock. “I can stay with you for a couple of days,” you stepped closer, grabbing his hand. Desperately trying to make eye contact hoping to see anything but that shell shock look in them. “No, no, no, it’s fine,” he squeezed your hands before letting go and taking a step back, “I am fine.” He forced a smile and turned towards his dad who was waiting by the car. 

Chapter 1 

It had been a couple of days since you saw Hughie. You had called once but his dad picked up and told you about the settlement and how Hughie wanted to fight it. You could tell that Hughie Sr. was not happy about that and the resulting fight. Now, you were even more worried. Breathing in deeply you took your laptop and some snacks and made your way to the library. If Hughie wanted to file a wrongful death he needed all the help he could get. So for the next couple of hours you searched the internet for any kind of dirt you could find on the supes and some legal cases where family members actually filed for a wrongful death lawsuit. There weren’t many, at least in New York, where you focused on for now. From what you could tell several were dropped by the family, some dismissed by the judge and generally Vought won. In the small incidents the family did win, it was against some D-Lister Supe who did not receive support from Vought and was basically thrown to the sharks. How had you never noticed just how convoluted all this Supe stuff was? You had no idea how much help you would be for Hughie but all you could do was be there and support him. And maybe fight someone if he needed to. 

After you had researched, what felt like an eternity, yet in reality had only been two days, and compiled some stuff that made you feel like you could actually support your sweet, mild tempered cousin you packed up. It was time to see Hughie, even if he had ghosted you for the last couple of days. 

You walked downtown towards your guy's favorite Chinese Take-out place. You had picked up two portions of sweet and sour chicken, a white claw for him and some aloe vera drink for you. Hughie should get off work in the next 10 minutes. So you thought you could eat a late backroom dinner like you had done many times before. Usually you would get some food and once he closed up the shop you would eat and talk for a while in the backroom. Some days it was the best part of your day just goofing around with the lanky twink you call your cousin. 

Hughie didn’t even look up when you walked in. “We are closing soon, what can I help you with?” His tone was void of his normal happy customer voice. “I really need some forks,” for a second he looked confused. You held up the bags smiling at him. “Did someone order a backroom dinner?” He got up from his slouched position walking towards you with a smile, hugging you close to him. “God sometimes I forget how tall you are,” you reached up and tousled his hair. “Y/N what are you doing here?” “Well,” you lifted up the bags to say duh. 

“Close up for me, will ya?” Gary walked past you too. Immediately you crooked your head to the side and gave him a sweet smile. “Hi Gary.” He just grunted and walked out of the shop. “Damn one day I will make him my husband.” You joked. Hughie gave you a small chuckle for your antics, making you smile even more in return. “I’ll get the plates set up. You do whatever you do out here.” You waved him away as you made your way to the backroom. 

It had been five minutes when you heard Hughie exclaim: “What the fuck!” and a loud bang. You dropped whatever you had in your hands and ran towards the exit. Shit, shit, shit. You thought. Hughie better be giving whoever was jacking him up right now whatever they wanted. I mean it is New York, wasn’t the first time you had witnessed a mugging. But you were not prepared for what you saw when you spied through the backdoor into the shop. Hughie was lifted from the ground seemingly by nothing and flung across the room. What the fuck indeed. You pulled out your phone, only to realize that it had died. “Shit!” But in reality what would you do? Call the police? Yeah hey, so my cousin is getting attacked by air, yeah doubt that would fly. They’d just think you're some crackhead. 

You saw the TV being ripped from the wall and about to be brought down onto Hughie when somewhere in your shock you managed to grab the broom from the entrance. You ran out towards the floating TV, raising your broom, you screamed and swung. So not air, there was definitely something there. The broom shattered completely. You were just left with some splintered piece of wood in your hand. You let out a small nervous “ha” laugh, shrugging your shoulders as if to say my bad. 

“Who the fuck are you?” the invisible man replied. You took some steps back toward the back room again. What the hell are you gonna do now? “Y/N, run!” Hughie was still trying to catch his breath on the ground, struggling to get up. You were more than tempted to run but could you really leave Hughie here? Translucent lifted the TV again, and without thinking you stepped towards Hughie when suddenly a loud crash rang through the store. Jumping backwards you crouched down next to Hughie covering your head. 

A car? A fucking car just drove through the front. Jesus Christ what the hell was going on? You thought to yourself. Suddenly a tall man, with a dark beard and a large coat stepped out of the car. “Sorry about the mess.” The accent threw you off for a second but hey this is New York. Hughie and you stared in complete shock at him but he spared you guys no second glance. “You should fuck off, Hughie.” With that he stepped up to Translucent with a crowbar in hand. You just stared at him for a second before the stranger screamed. “Hughie, run!” 

Your senses kicked in again and you quickly helped your cousin up. Meanwhile in the background you could hear the Brit go. “Well, well, well, if it ain’t the invisible cunt,” before engaging in a fight with him. You put Hughies arm across your shoulder supporting him as you two made your way slowly to the back exit. But before you could leave, Hughie stopped you. The Brit was on the ground, bloody and about to be beaten with a crowbar. Before you could stop Hughie he crawled on the floor towards a cable that stuck out of the wall. “Hughie,” you hissed, “come back here.” Fuck! What an idiot. You were about to drag your cousin back by the ankles when the Brit kicked Translucent and everything went bright. You could hear the sizzling of the skin and his screams before everything went quiet with a thump. 

It took you a second to orient yourself and blink the bright spots from your vision but then you were just relieved to see Hughie standing there and the invisible shit on the ground. The Brit was already on his feet too, kicking Translucent for good measure. 

“What the hell is going on?,” you stepped up to Hughie hissing quietly to him while eyeing the Brit. Hughie couldn’t answer as the Brit spoke up. “Let’s get him in the boot.” Both you and Hughie looked at him in bewilderment. “What?” you said in unison. “Wait, wait what? Wait, what, what?” you cousin so eloquently elaborated on your what. 

The Brit, covered in blood, bent down and picked up Translucens legs, grunting as he nodded towards the car. “The trunk.” You had to give it to the stranger. He could definitely take a beating. The blood made his beard look even darker. And if it were any other circumstances you would have thought him handsome but right now was not the time to eyefuck a handsome, older stranger. 

“No,no, I mean, what are we-- , what are we - - what are we doing with him?” You had watched the exchange silently still reeling from the last 5 minutes. But it seemed like the two knew each other which was news to you. You had met all of Hughies friends, since you were older than him and since his mom left you always made sure to check in on him, protect him. Your friends used to joke that you had a grandma instinct, always pampering the younger ones. Taking Hughie and his friends out for ice cream and making Hughie hot chocolate when he had a nightmare. For a while you had lived in the Campbell household and once you had your own place you made sure to always make time for Hughie. 

Shaking your head, you took a deep breath. Get yourself together this is not a time to panic. Hughie needs you. You looked at him and all your grandmother's instinct kicked into high gear at the side of Hughies face covered in blood. Paying hardly any attention to the conversation going on around you. “Well, Hughie, you just off’d one of The Seven, mate.” “Me? I -- You-you hit him with a fucking car!” “Look, potato, fucking po-tah-to. We’re both in a shitload of trouble.” “Make that three,” you interjected. But neither of them paid you any mind you might as well have been invisible like that shit on the floor. You tried to keep up with their conversation but you felt like you had skipped the beginning of a book and were now in the middle of it with no idea what was going on. 

Wait, did he just say federal officer, FBI? What the hell was going on. You already knew once this shitty situation was over you would wring out even the smallest of detail about what the heck was going on out of Hughie. 

“Do you hear that? That’s the old bill,” you could hear the sirens clear as day and only getting louder. Shit you were so goddamn fucked. Before the Brit finished you were already moving, grabbing one of the arms of Translucent. What was the point in arguing? All the reports you had read the past few days flashed into your head. There was no winning here; you had to get rid of the body. No way in hell were you going to let whatever the fuck happened here ruin Hughies or your life. “So unless you want to explain why you’ve got America’s favorite invisible wanker dead on the floor, give us a fucking hand, will ya?” The guy crouched down again. It was the first time he had spared you a glance. It was quick, but you could feel the intensity behind it, the scan up and down your body before returning to the issue. You had met his slightly crazed stare head-on, not one to back down even if you wanted to. And by God did you want to, you wanted to grab Hughie and run but in no way was that going to happen. You could see Hughie panicking, his breath coming out in short puffs, his eyes wide. You wanted to do nothing more than help him calm down but this was taking too much time. You looked at him, willing him to look you in the eyes to convey just how urgent this was but before he met your eyes he snapped out of it. “Aw, shit!” Hugh grabbed the other arm and all of us started dragging the guy towards the car.

The Brit was not just tall, you noted but also fucking strong, while he was lifting the guy off the ground Hughie and you were barely strong enough to hold him up for a few seconds before he was dragging on the floor again. 

Once we got to the car, the Brit apparently had enough, and realized this was taking too long. He pushed you and Hughie off to the side. “Get the legs, would ya lad?” With one strong lift he had Translucent under the arms and up near the trunk. Quickly you and Hughie scrambled to get his legs up. “I need to do more cardio,” you whispered out of breath. The Brit shot you a lopsided smirk before smashing the trunk close. “Ain’t that a shame, but I can lend a hand if ya need it,” he said with a crooked smirk and a shake of his head. You just raised one of your eyebrows to say you think that line works? 

He walked past you, no scratch that, he sauntered passed you towards the driver side of the car. The sirens of the police now impossibly close. Hugh quickly got into the passenger seat while you scrambled into the back middle seat. For now you just let Hughie take the reins on the conversation. You just listened and observed to figure out exactly what was going on and how you could get your cousin and yourself out of it. You kept glancing at the Brit in the driverseat. Watching his jaw muscles flex under his rather nice looking beard. You had to admit you had a thing for men with beards, and you really wanted to reach out and feel it between your fingers. Once in a while he looked in the rearview mirror to check if the cops were following or to glance at you. Everytime you met his gaze head on. You knew the type. The type like him who dominated every room he walked into. The smirk, the sauntering cocky attitude. If you had learned anything about men like that you had to establish dominance from the get go. Show him that you were not some pushover, even if you felt like one on the inside. And truth be told you were freaking out, but putting on a smile when you did not want was one of your strengths. 

You looked from the blood on the side to his face, down towards the barely visible jawline underneath his beard, down to his coat, and up his arms. Your eyes landed on his hands, already forming bruises and covered in blood, holding onto the steering wheel. You expected to see his knuckles white from the strong grip he had but no, it almost felt like he was taking a joy ride. What kind of man was lazily holding the steering wheel after offing a man. 

Oh my god, you just off’d a man. Fuck, it hit you like a ton of bricks. You were in a car with a stranger and your sweetheart cousin. A body in the trunk and driving god knows where. Fuck how many times did you tell Hughie not to go to a second location with someone you don’t know. Yet, here you were doing exactly that. 

Thumb, Thumb. “Oh, thank fuck, he's alive.” Hughie exclaimed, while you froze in shock, still turned toward the trunk. “Yes, yes, he’s alive!. Okay, pull over.” A part of you was relieved the asshole was not dead. At least you did not have to add accessory to murder to your CV but another part of you, a bigger part, realized now that the guy was alive this shit was not over. Before you could voice your concern the Brit interjected. “No, no, no, Hughie, you don’t fucking get it.” But Hughie was having none of it. “Pull the car over.” “This is a fucksight worse. He’s seen our faces.” Hughie just stared at the guy confused and panic once again settling in. “Hughie,” you softly said, while leaning forward. “He is right.” You weren’t really sure what you just agreed to, or how bad it would get but for now the one thing you could do was calm Hughie down. “Oh, my God. No, no, no, no. I can’t do this.” You leaned even further forward in your seat “Hughie.” You tried to grab his arm but he shook you off. “I can’t do this. Let me out.” You tried again “Hughie, you gotta breathe for me okay. Just take a breath.” But to no avail “Let me out. Pull over!” He yelled, or what counted as yelling in Hughies book. You had to admit you agreed, you wished you could just get out of the car and just go. “Hughie,” the Brit strictly said, drawing your attention. You gave him another once over. The Brit was still steadfast, almost calming to look at. His tone made you immediately want to fall in line and go along with whatever he had planned. “You walk away now, and you will never get payback for Robin.” This? This is what this was about? Jesus Fuck! Your first instinct was to throttle Hughie for getting involved with this shit. But on the other hand, you got it. If you had someone you loved taken from you like that. God only knows what you would do probably burn the world down. It seemed like he had finally gotten through Hughie who just sat back and accepted his fate. 

The bearded man's confidence did not waver. “I know a bloke. Top man. He’ll know what to do.” Oh, no. A secondary location and some ‘top bloke’ recommended by some stranger, whose car you were in right now. Yeah, that did not sound sketchy at all… Should have stayed in bed today. 

You had been quite in the back of the car. Only the thumping and cursing from your invisible friend was audible to you. You were driving deeper into a sketchy neighborhood of abandoned and run-down buildings. The longer you drove the more you got nervous. You still had no idea who the guy was. Well besides knowing that he impersonated a fed to get your cousin to do so. You were ready to strangle the guy for getting Hughie involved with this. I mean common, look at him, he was tall and lanky and awkward. Did he look like the criminal type? Definitely not. You should have insisted on moving back into the Campbell house, at least for a while. If you had been here for him then maybe you would not drive to a second location right now. But at least you were here now and if need be, the Brit was the next body in the trunk. You held onto the anger that you felt. Anger was better than the panic. 

Sighing you leaned back into the backseat, your jaw already hurting from the times you had clenched it throughout the evening. The Brit shot you a look through the rearview mirror. Smirking, he adjusted his position to sit up a bit more straight. “Sorry, luv, guess I ain’t got my manners tonight. Being a right down cunt not introducing myself” You raised an eyebrow at him. Unimpressed with whatever this “flirting” he was doing. There was no way you would let a pretty face get in the way of your anger. “The name is Billy, Billy Butcher,” he turned to you for a few seconds. “Billy, really? I think cunt sounds about right.” You retorted in a rather monotone voice. Or the asshole who got my sweet cousin into some murder shit, you thought. You could practically feel his smirk. Hughie had turned to you looking rather guilty. Yeah, you better be, you thought. You shot Hughie a look he knew all too well, and he knew he was going to have a lot of explaining to do. “Ain’t that just a pity, Billy sounds good coming from your mouth.” Rolling your eyes you leaned back into the seat, crossing your legs, trying to make yourself look more like a bitch. “Loads of things sound good coming from my mouth. Like what the fuck is going on!” “Y/N,” Hughie interjected. Your eyes darted to him for a minute, your staple ‘don’t fuck with me right now’ look in your eyes. “Aye, we got ourselves in a bit of trouble, didn’t we, darling?” He was more than amused by you, and it made your hands itch to reach out and smack him. “From where I am sitting I can only see one troublemaker.” “Well, well, well, sweetheart you’re about to meet one more.” Billy had stopped outside some rundown building that looked even more sketchy than the Brit. Oh, we are so fucked, you thought. 

He stepped out of the car, waiting for you and Hughie to get out. You looked at him for a second trying to convey just how pissed and ready to fight you were. Slowly you stepped out of the car, never looking away from him. His smirk intensified, and that small wiggle of his head that he seemed to do was present. You would have thought it endearing if you were not so angry. Not even his broad and tall statue could disway you. You stepped up to him, doing your signature eyebrow raise. You had no intention of backing down first. Hughie just awkwardly stood to the side, watching your staring contest with wide eyes. 

Billy realized you had no intention of backing down and he sure as shit had no time for this. He took a step back and rolled his eyes as he walked towards the building. “Get a shift on. We got shit to do.” With that he disappeared between the heavy steel doors. 

You shot Hughie a look, “We’re gonna have a talk later.” It was not a question, it was a command. 

You followed Billy through the door and already you had a pit in your stomach wondering how much further you would follow Billy. Yet you knew, you’d follow that dark mysterious, and devilishly handsome man through hell and back. 

French rap music sounded throughout the warehouse. You were greeted by a dark-haired woman with the most intense blue eyes you had ever seen. She took a particular interest in Hughie, touching his face. All you could do was watch in bewilderment and wonder if whatever she had she would be willing to share. You vaguely heard Billy call her Cherié and ask for a ‘Frenchie’. 

You were not prepared for what was in front of you. Weapons upon weapons. You subconsciously took a step closer to Hughie. If there was something that scared you it was guns. You hated how easy they were used by people and the loud bang always made you jump. Your roommate and you had made a game out of fireworks or gunshots? Admittedly you had lived in a rough neighborhood but you were only a student. What else was there to afford? 

“Monsieur Charcuter.” So this was Frenchie. If it were not for all the weapons and what not you would think him cute. So this was the top bloke Butcher was talking about. Seems like Frenchie did not think of Butcher as a top bloke. You moved closer to Hughie. “Hughie, I think we should book it,” you whispered to him. He turned to you in shock as if you had slapped him. “What, Hughie? It is not like he could go to the police and say ‘hey some people bailed on us while getting rid of a body.’ Common, what can they do?” You were eyeing the door ready to take off. “No, no, this isn’t -- We can’t do this, Y/N.” You slowly grabbed Hughies arm ready to pull him along with you. “I’ll make an excuse for us to go outside and once we are we run,” you hissed. Pulling out a pack of cigarettes you were ready to step forward and tell them you had to smoke one and talk to your cousin for a second in private. 

“Who is this guy?” Frenchie asked. Great now that their attention shifted to you too, there was no getting away. “Oh, this here is Hughie Campbell. And--,” Butcher waved at you. “A friend.” Yeah, a friend. Jeez the guy did not even care to learn your name. On the upside they had no idea who you were and honestly you preferred it that way. “We’re, uh, working a little job together.” Sure if this is what you want to call it.  Hughie looked as uncomfortable as you felt, but hell would freeze over before you showed any sort of discomfort. You stood, with a straight face, that many of your friends had called a resting bitch face, shoulders back and attention fully on the guys before you. Watching them like a hawk, only glancing at the woman who was clearly on something or just plain crazy. 

“And he’s still alive?” You felt bile rise up in your throat. What was that supposed to mean? Suddenly, flashes of Hughie being tossed around bloody and groaning in pain came to mind. And then silence, him dead on the floor and there was nothing you could do. 

“You and I worked together, and you’re still in one piece,” Butcher retorted. It should have been reassuring but it definitely wasn’t. From what you could tell the french guy was in the business of whatever the hell you and Hughie gotten involved in. Judging by the scars all over Frenchies body a stark contrast to the baby smooth skin Hughie had. Yeah, great, you both will be dead by sundown, you thought. Now you need a cigarette for real. 

The French guy gave in and all of you made your way outside to the car. The fresh air felt good and made you feel more relaxed. You fished a pack of cigarettes out of your coat pocket. Quickly lighting it between your cherry red fingernails, with your pink Hello Kitty lighter. Taking a long drag you felt relief flooded your senses. God this was a disgusting habit but better than reaching for a bottle and getting shitfaced drunk. With your luck, you would end up at the police station telling them everything that happened last night. No alcohol was not an option you had to be in control.

You stood a couple paces away, when Butcher opened the trunk and electrocuted Translucent. This is when Frenchie freaked out. You nodded for Hughie to come to you, if this was going south you wanted him out of the line of fire. Luckily, Butcher is an asshole and managed to get Frenchie into this shit too. 

Frenchie and Butcher walked back inside. “Hughie and Iwill keep an eye on the invisible asshole.” You commented offhandedly, your gaze fixed on no one in particular. You took a drag of your cigarette, releasing the smoke and shooting a glance at an unmoved Butcher. “Well, luv, I don’t think this is a good idea,” You knew he was worried you would let the guy go and take off but you didn’t care for that right now. You needed to talk to Hughie. “Like you said, he’s seen our face.” You threw his own words back into his face. “I think we should--,” You shot Hughie a look to shut him up. It worked, as you knew it would. It was the same look you gave him when he was a child and in trouble. Taking one last drag from your cigarette you stomped it out underneath your boots before stepping up to Butcher. My God, how tall was this guy? You smelled a whiff of engine oil, sweat, and leather. Not a combination you thought would be so pleasant. “Imma, talk to my cousin. But don’t worry luv we will be right in.” Butcher gave you a once over, leaning into you with that signature smirk. “No, need to get your knickers in a twist, aye now, shirty.” Oh, you could see it already you would end up smacking this cocky son of a bitch. But for now, you wouldn't give him the satisfaction of getting a rise out of you. You continued to stare at him, not wavering at his gaze. However, you could not help but clench your jaw, your muscles slowly tensing up underneath your skin. Of course, the asshole saw this and smirked even more giving you his signature head wiggle. But you were not backing down. Finally, he rolled his eyes, turning around. “If you are not back in five I’ll come get ya myself.” 

Hughie had watched the exchange in awkward silence. He knew you were not going to back down and felt relief when Butcher finally walked back inside with Frenchie. “Okay, look--,” Hughie started. “No,” you simply said. Already you were itching for another cigarette. “I don’t want excuses or some washy explanation. You will tell me everything that happened that let us to a run down warehouse with some fucking gun runner and some british asshole.” Hughie took a deep breath, ruffling his hair before telling you everything. From Voughts offer of 45k to meeting Butcher and planting a bug. You listened closely, growing more and more frustrated and angry at the same time. “Jesus Christ, Hughie a bug? What were you thinking? Why did you not come to me with this?” “What, so you could tell me I can’t do it?” Hughie yelled. “Because I am a loser who can’t even ask his boss for a fucking raise?” You were shocked at his outburst, stepping closer you wanted to sooth the boy in front of you. In some way he was right you did not see him as a man, for you he was the sweet boy who wanted to play superhero with you and cuddled up to you when a scary scene was on screen. “No, Hughie that is not-” But he would not hear any of it. “Because I don’t have the fight. All I am good for is selling some electronics, coming home, sittin on the couch, watching TV, and eating Pizza rolls?” You let him rant on for a while longer, never seeing Hughie like this before. By the end he was out of breath, his chest heaving. You leaned against the wall of the warehouse, racking your brain about something you could say to make things better for him.

“You know what I’ve been doing the past few days?” You asked Hughie, confusion on his face. “I’ve been researching cases of wrongful death lawsuits against Supes.” You pushed yourself off the wall. “Because I was ready to stand with you, not in front of you, but side by side ready to fight for justice for Robin with you.” You stepped up to Hughie. “Because I don’t think you are some loser who can’t do anything. But because I think you are a good man who wants to do the right thing.” You shook your head in disbelief about all the shit he just told you. “But this. This is a fucking mess.” Hughie sighs deeply, “I know, I know, okay? I didn’t know what else to do” You did what you wanted to do since the store, you hugged Hughie. He clung to you. “We are in this now, you realize that, right?” You pulled back, taking Hughies face into your hands. “But we are going to get through this okay? ‘cause we are not fucking losers.” You grabbed Hughies hand, “common we have a shithead to take care of.” With that, you both walked into the building again. 

Once you arrived at the new place you would keep Translucent the boys and you got to work. Carrying box after box with God knows what. But for now you were not going to ask questions and just do as you were told. Once everything was settled in you brought in your captive. Translucent was put into an electrified cage. To say he was unhappy when he woke up was an understatement. He was cussing you out something fierce 

Hughie was leaning on the wall next to the door that led to your captive, while Butcher and Frenchie leaned opposite each other on the table. You had planted yourself up on the counter. Your question of what now had been ignored and the two men were arguing back and forth when Hughie spoke up. “Wait, you're going to kill him?” “Well, we didn’t bring him here for a fucking Happy Meal.” You almost let out a snort at Butcher's sassy remark if the situation was not such a mess. Before the argument could go further you interjected. “What about a diamond drill?” This got the attention of all three men. “What?,” Hughie said. “You said that his skin was tough as diamonds,” you talked directly to Frenchie. “Or more, who really knows,” you added.” You pushed yourself off the countertop and walked to the table where Frenchie and Butcher were located. “If it is as tough as diamonds a diamond drill should do the job.” You could not believe the words that came out of your mouth. I mean you were talking about murdering a man. Frenchie looked at Butcher whose gaze was still on you. Shrugging his shoulder he nodded. “Worth a try, no? But maybe a less medieval weapon would suffice.” With this Frenchie got to work, mixing stuff and overall did things you had no idea about. Instead of probing him more with what he meant you just stepped back jumping onto the counter once more. “I’m gonna see about an old friend,” Butcher said, leaving you and Hughie alone with the French man. You watched Frenchie work in silence. You were glad that Hughie did not try to talk to you, you were absolutely drained. The rollercoaster of emotion catching up with you. You could feel how things started to overwhelm you, your head pounding and the noise grating your nerves. You abruptly left the basement making your way upstairs. You walked through the rows of tables and seats, past the boxes of guns and other supplies before settling down on a bench near the door. You took off your jacket, balling it up and using it as a pillow. You were lying on the bench staring up at the cracked ceiling, your brain completely numb. You finished out your phone before realizing it had died the day before. Looking towards your left you saw an outlet, but you were far too tired to move an inch. You let your arm fall to your side again, ignoring your phone problem. 

Hughie watched you leave the room, his constant frown still on his face. He knew he had fucked up and even more so by dragging you into this mess, even if it was unintentional. Hell, he didn’t even want to be here. He wanted to go after you, to apologize over and over but he knew you needed your alone time. 

You were absolutely drained, closing your eyes trying to breathe evenly. Yet, the unfamiliar space made you tense, you only allowed yourself to close your eyes for a few seconds before the panic of not knowing what was around you kicked in again. God, you thought you were over your hypervigilance, constantly thinking something bad was around the corner. You even managed to sleep with your bedroom door unlocked now. It took years for you to feel safe in your own skin again and now in one night it was all destroyed. You felt like you were right back where you started five years ago. 

Sighing you sat up, your elbows on your knees and your head in your hands. It is true what people say, trauma stays in your body. You sat up straight, taking a deep breath in, holding it for a few seconds, then breathing out. Breathe and repeat. Your hands were sweaty and your limbs felt hollow. It felt like you were twenty again trying to paint on a smile even though all you wanted to do was scream and rage and cry. But that was not acceptable, not according to the way you were raised. All throughout your life you have been taught to smile and behave. As long as you could function you were okay and there was no need to be “a drama queen” as it was so often put whenever you tried to express your feelings.

Getting up you looked over the boxes the boys had brought in, all the different weapons and tools. You reached out, wiping a stain off a drill. Watching as the smudge slowly disappeared. It felt good, getting rid of an imperfection of something that should not be there. Cleaning has become your comfort whenever you feel like your feelings would overwhelm you. And once it was all clean you had your feelings in check and could put on a smile. Playing whatever role people expected of you, the good daughter, the loyal friend, the dutiful student. What role would you have to play now? You wondered. It had taken you years to break out of the need to mask and hide and now you wondered if playing a role was the only thing that would keep you and your cousin alive. Your head was spinning, so you turned searching for your bag, before realizing it was on the ground at Gary’s destroyed shop. Great not you had to somehow find the money to get a new laptop. But mostly you wanted your anti-anxiety pills.

Your head was spinning out of control when the door suddenly opened. Butcher came strutting in, an annoyed look at his face. Quickly you smoothed your expression, trying to appear casual. “I’m guessing whatever you did, didn’t pan out.” You leaned back on a desk behind you, crossing your arms over your chest. “Not to worry, luv.” He squared up in front of you, his broad chest looking even broader when he crossed his own arms in front of it. Daylight was streaming through the hole of the torn paper that covered the windows. The dust became more prominent, and Butcher seemed even bigger with the light illuminating him from the back. “Really? Because from where I am standing worrying is the only thing that I can actually do.” Butcher let out something between a snort and a laugh. He took a step closer to you, almost looming above you. “You know we have not been properly introduced. You know my name is Billy, Billy Butcher and what would yours be, sweetheart.” You clenched your jaw at the nickname. “I don’t know, Billy, sweetheart sounds pretty good to me.” You replied sarcastically. Butcher was clearly amused by you, and as much as you hated it, his cocky ‘everything is funny’ attitude got to you. You did not want him to see that his attitude got on your nerves so you pushed yourself off the desk and walked past him to the stairs leading to Frenchie and Hughie. “But once you get tired of the condescending nicknames, call me Y/N,” you threw him a glance over your shoulder before disappearing down the stairs. Butcher watched you go with a smirk on his face and an appreciative glance down your body. He did not know how to feel about you yet, but at least you were sassy and easy on the eyes. That was always fun.

[uravitypng]

𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔 𝐖𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐔𝐑𝐓 𝐌𝐄

kinktober day 3: dubcon/noncon

pairing: toru oikawa x chubby reader

word count: 2.9k

a/n: this was originally suppose to be day 6 but i moved it up. it was also suppose to be more dubcon but theres noncon as well, plus a lot of yandere. college/uni au. this literally took all day to write. this is not proof read properly ₊˚✩‧₊˚♡‧₊˚

warnings: noncon turned dubcon, yandere oikawa, deluded oikawa, naive(trusting) reader, bestfriend oikawa!, coercion, extreme manipulation, pet names (good girl, princess, baby), unprotected sex, fingering, chubby reader (kinda? like all of my fics), smut, 18+, mdni / always check the warnings on my writing !

Oikawa was seeing red. Why were you standing so close to mad dog? Why were you laughing? Mad Dog isn't funny he isn't enough for you, he was. You're his. Are you doing this to upset him and make him angry, because it's working. Oikawa didn't think it could get worse, he was watching you on the other side of the gym, he was wrong, it got a million times worse when one of his fangirls ran up to him, blocking his view of you.

She started talking about something or other about his recent game, and he put on his regular charming face and pretended to listen, thanking her for her nice words. "I've actually got something for you," the girl says while moving and pulling something out of bag. That's when he saw it. Again. You. You had that beautiful smile on your face and was leaning into Mad Dog. He snapped.

"Excuse me," he says while walking past, basically shoving the poor girl. He couldn't care less about her or what she wanted to give him. He doesn't even notice her dejected face, all that matters is you.

Oikawa put on his award wining smile as he joined into your conversation. "Don't you have something to be doing Mad Dog?" He says through gritted teeth.

"Me and Kyotani were just talking about the recent match," you replied. You. Were you really sticking up for that idiot and why are you even calling him that? The only person who you should be talking to is him, congratulating him and telling him about how good he was. No one else matters, he was the best, he always is- apart from you, no one holds a candle to you.

His smile slightly falters for a brief second and you notice. "Are you okay Toru?" You could tell something was up, he always tries to smile even when he doesn't mean it, so seeing his smile flash to something you couldn't quite pinpoint you knew something was wrong. You've known Toru for so long and you're proud to admit that you know him the best out of everyone, even more than Hajime. After you've known someone so long, you learn everything about them, and you hope he knows everything about you. You hope he can hear your sincerity in what you say.

Oikawa genuinely smiles and his heart warms at your concern for him, you're just so perfect. The warmth quickly vanishing as soon as it appears when he see's Mad Dog right there, still next to you. "Of course I am okay Chibi-chan. Can i talk to you for a second?" You furrow your eyebrows trying to see if he's lying but in the end you agree and follow behind him.

Toru has called you Chibi-chan since you were kids, it use to annoy you but you've grown fond of the nickname knowing he means it as a term of term of endearment. No matter how much you grew he was always growing more. You never liked the nickname when you were children, some times he would compare you to mochi and you didn't like that more, always reminding you that you were slightly bigger than the other kids.

One day you asked him why he called you it and that it made you sad, he looked absolutely horrified. You don't think you've ever seen him so upset but before you could think about it much he just rushed out - "it's because you're so cute and tiny just like a chibi character. Real pretty," you've never seen him so uncomposed and you couldn't help but giggle, making your face hurt with how wide you were smiling. After that you decided to like that nickname, your best friend thinks you're cute and pretty and he likes the way you look of course you would like him calling you that. After that Oikawa decided he loved you.

You're still following behind but he's walking so quickly, his legs are just too bloody long. "Toru slow down! I can't keep up." you say while pouting. You looked around and couldn't even tell where he was taking you, you were walking in the direction of a part of campus you've never been before, without Toru being here you would be completely lost.

Oikawa turns around, smiles at you and grabs your hand. "Sorry Mochi-chan. I just wanted to go somewhere private, away from everyone." Oikawa rubs his thumb on your hand but realises what he's doing as he sees your posture change and your body relax into his touch, smirking, "come on, there's this really special spot just on the outside of campus, it's basically a little forest, you'll really like it." He says while he keeps hold of your hand and starts walking again.

It feels like you've been walking for ever, and it's mainly in silence, with anyone else it would be uncomfortable but with Toru it never is.

You're sure it would just be easier to go back to one of your places but you don't question, Toru probably has a reason.

Maybe once you get him alone you'll be able to tell him about Kyotani, you really like him, like a lot. You know Toru is really popular so you hope he'll be able to help you work up the courage and flirt with him, maybe then you'll be able to spend more time with Kyotani.

Toru was right you really did like the forest, it was really pretty and Toru picked an amazing place, you're not really surprised though, he always knows what you would like.

You both were glad when you arrived, you pulled your hand away from his, he got annoyed but you turned that around when he saw you smile at the scenery. You looked really happy to be here, Oikawa hopes you're happy to be here with him.

Oikawa finds a nice place for you both to sit down but you're slightly wary about getting dirty, this is a new skirt you're wearing. Oikawa looks up at you and laughs at you knowing why you're not sitting down. He grabs your hand and pulls you down, laughing more. "Toru! this is a new skirt!" You whine.

"Yes, you look very pretty chibi-chan and it looks very nice," he says while laughing more. Your whining turns into a laugh. Oikawa looks down as he tries to formulate his words, he honestly doesn't even know what he's doing here, he has no plan and normally he knows exactly what to say but right now he just can't.

You're so focused looking around at the trees that you don't see Toru's troubled face, if you did you he knows you would have asked if he was okay again.

Oikawa takes your hand, startling you and clasps it, holding onto you like he's afraid you'll leave him. He knows you won't, you never would leave him. He still struggling what to say but he looks at you and it all disappears, you squeeze his hands with a worried look and he knows he can tell you anything and you will understand.

"I'm in love with you. I always have been and I always be will. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier but I was nervous, I thought you would know. we're meant to be together baby, just you and me." Oikawa spoke with so much conviction it took you back.

Toru. Toru Oikawa. He's telling you he's in love with you. Your best friend. This is a lot to a handle. You're speechless and you don't know what to say, you're sitting there looking at him and you can't even think.

Oikawa's trying to be patient, he understands it's a lot, his patience is slowing running thin though. He knows how much you struggle getting your words out but this shouldn't be so hard, just tell him you feel the same.

"Toru... i love you, but i dont... I'm really sorry Toru I love you and I always will love you but not that way." You say softly, not meeting his eyes.

Oikawa starts panicking, you're wrong. You love him, why don't you understand that. He's absolutely freaking out, but then you keep on talking and it only gets worse. "I actually was going to ask you about Kyotani, I like him, I know it's not the same as you feel and I'm just overwhelmed."

That's it. Oikawa see's red, he completely snaps. "You don't mean that Chibi-chan, you love me. I know I surprised you and I am very sorry but you love me." Oikawa says darkly, grabbing hold onto your chin looking you in the eyes.

You start panicking, Toru's scaring you, a lot, he's not breaking eye contact and even though he sounds angry, you look into his eyes it all seems too sweet as well. His eyes are mean but show fondness, like he truly thinks he's telling you the truth. He's gripping on your chin entirely too strong and you're starting to feel sick. You're really scared and you don't understand. Toru would never hurt you.

"Toru you're scaring me, I'm scared, please let me go." You start sobbing, trying to move away from him but he's too strong.

"Oh, oh baby. shh, shh. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you, I've got you." He pulls you into your chest stroking your back but it does little to help. Toru always knows how to help but this time it's not working.

"Toru, please. this isn't right." That is not what Oikawa wanted to hear. He grabs hold of your hair and yanks you up to look at him, he's not trying to hurt you, but it's still stings.

"Stop." Oikawa yells. You haven't seen him yell like this in a long time. He's been mad before, mainly about volleyball but it's never been directed at you. Oikawa presses his forehead against yours and whispers, "you're just confused Chibi-chan, I'll show you. I'll show you how much you love me."

He's right, you are confused, what does he mean that he's going to show you.

Oikawa pushes you back against the tree carefully so not to hurt you, caging his arms around you. You're momentarily stunned, then realising what he's planning on doing you start squirming and kicking trying to get away.

Oikawa doesn't appreciate that and holds you down, he knows you can't do much damage he's much stronger than you and you don't even really want to get away so he doesn't worry about. You're his good girl. If you were being more cooperative you'd have your first time together on his bed, if you were more cooperative he'd take your clothes off slowly. he rips your clothes off you, there's no need to worry though because he'll buy you new clothes. He's staring at you, taking in every inch of your body, just as beautiful as he imagined, and all his. You're like a greek goddess, you look so soft and you look stunning out of breath, he can't wait to see you out of breath out of pleasure.

Oikawa kisses you, you're still kicking and not kissing him back. Oikawa bites onto your lip hard and you yelp in pain, he takes this opportunity and shoves his tongue in your mouth with vigour. You're still not reciprocating, trying to push against him but he's in heaven, you're so perfect. He only stops when he needs air.

Shoving your underwear down your legs he puts his hands between your thighs, as he lightly touches your body, pressing his face against your neck. You're getting goosebumps from his heavy breathing and you start pushing and pleading even louder, shouting for him to stop and scratching him, you didn't realise this only spurred him on.

Oikawa chuckles as he finally touches your pussy. "Fuck baby, you're so wet, let me do this okay. Stop fighting okay princess, I know you want this." You never stop kicking and you never stop screaming.

Oikawa doesn't stop touches you, no matter how much you try to make him. He sticks two fingers in you without any warning making you scream.

Oikawa knows exactly what to do. Why wouldn't he, he knows your body better than anyone. His chibi-chan is so special and no one has ever made you feel better than him, and no one else ever will. You'll be together forever. He keeps plunging his fingers into you at a steady pace, constantly hitting your g-spot. "Shit princess, you're so warm. Your pretty pussy is clenching so tight." Oikawa knows you feel good, he knows you're only pretending to try and get away but he feels you clenching around him and knows you're close. He's smiling, he knows you'll come around, you're meant for him. "Come on baby, just for me, let go. Show me how good I make you."

You hate it. You hate him. Why is Toru doing this? Why is your body doing this? As soon as he says 'let go' you cum. You can't stop sobbing, why is this happening?

Oikawa kisses your neck and smiles, "good girl, good girl. You've done so good for me." He kisses your forehead and strokes your cheek, you just want him to stop. Your limbs are getting heavy, it feels like you've been hitting him forever, why isn't it working? Why is no one hearing you screaming? You're out in the middle of nowhere, no ones around. It's basically remote with no one wanting to walk this far to get to some small forest, but surely there must be someone, anybody. You're throat is getting hoarse and you're losing your fight. You want him to kiss you again.

Oikawa takes this as a good sign, you're finally giving into your feelings. "Good girl. I promise I'll keep making you feel good." You feel something at your entrance as Oikawa slowly makes his way into you. "Fuck, fuck, fuck," he says under his breath. "You feel amazing Chibi-chan, so good, so perfect. I love you. I love you." Oikawa says against your lips, thrusting into you slowly and holding onto your waist. He keeps his pace, slow but hard, it's making you dizzy.

He's in heaven. Oikawa starts rubbing small circles on your clit and grabs one of your breasts with his other hand, putting his mouth around your nipple and bites hard, making you moan loudly. "Chibi-chan, you make such beautiful noises. I never knew you were so dirty." He says, mumbling against your breast. you can practically hear his smile.

He sped up his thrusts and the sudden shock makes you moan again. You pushed your hand against your mouth, trying to stop any noises coming out. "None of that, let me hear your pretty noises." Oikawa pushes your hand away and as soon as he does you groan. You bite your lip to stop yourself but it doesn't help, soon the noises come out anyway and you can't stop it. Oikawa is overjoyed.

You don't want this, you don't. He's making you feel so good though.

You wish you had more fight in you, you don't. Oikawa has you, now he just has to make sure you stay.

"I love you baby, so much. No else will ever love you like I do. No one will ever protect you like I do. I've been with you forever, I've never left your side Chibi-chan and I never will. You're perfect and kind and you're the most gorgeous girl I've ever laid my own upon, you're the only one i want. You want me too right?" Oikawa says to you, looking you in the eyes.

Toru kept talking. He has always been there for you, he's always by your side. He always protected you from bullies when you were younger, he always knows how to make you feel better. He's making you feel so good, better than anyone ever has. He can have any girl that he wants and he wants you, Toru chose you. "Yes, yes please Toru. I love you."

Oikawa didn't expect you to have a love confession realisation yet but you've realised you're his. He's yours. Oikawa starts crying he's so happy, you are his good girl after all.

"Shit, you're so good for me. So perfect." He says as tears are running down your face, your eyes are all blurry and you so desperately want to cum again.

You keep chanting his name over and over again. "Toru, Toru, wanna cum, please make me cum," you whine grabbing onto his shirt.

"Of course sweet thing, I've got you Chibi-chan," he whispers as he pushes one more time against your g-spot and that does it for you your back arches as you see white, everything feels so good. You hear Toru groan your name as he releases in you.

He stays in you, as he lays on you as you both are catching your breath. Toru's playing with your hair and kisses your head. "I love you baby. I'm sorry if I was too rough." He said he's sorry, he didn't mean to make you cry. You both know that you'll always forgive him.