#and our lunch breaks don’t line up this semester

[victory-cookies]

.

[loquaciousstrigidae]

SwampCon 2024

Convention Post

Last semester on March 2nd, I had the pleasure of attending the annually held SwampCon at the Reitz Union (at the mercy of my dear friend Angel). It was one of the first anime conventions I had ever been to, so naturally I did not know what to expect beforehand. All that prefaced my experience were the confident assurances of my friend that I would, in fact, enjoy myself and my preconceived notions of convention culture based on video essays and social media. I knew there to be plenty of trinkets to peruse, so I had conceded the inevitability that my wallet would open at least a few times. I anticipated the Artist Alley most of all, where fan artists set up booths with stickers, prints, posters, keychains, and other memorabilia all themed around different anime and video games. In a bit I will post some pictures of the lovely things I purchased. 

But our day began with a visit to the maid cafe. Upon entry, the Reitz ballroom was furnished with a cluster of tables, each draped with a tablecloth and set with glasses and napkins. People in maid costumes—as one might expect to see—stepped onto a stage lined with glittery plastic fringe to perform a few dances to popular anime openings. I had the delight to choose between various desserts—cookies, fruits, and brownies (I chose the brownie)—along with some lemonade.  

Pictured: My friends and I waiting for the show to begin. 

After that we went to the Artist Alley—and this was most definitely a lovely time. I went to find an artist I had seen on the schedule website named Anna Jano. I got two prints and an owl enamel pin (it really is such a lovely thing). I also came away with a single D20 die and a keychain of the character HERO from OMORI. 

Pictured: Anna Jano prints, Anna Jano enamel pin, HERO keychain. 

My friends surprised me with a SpyXFamily poster as well. How kind of them. 

Pictured: My SpyXFamily poster hanging in my dorm room. 

Beyond the Artist Alley, we also visited a room with booths displaying other wares such as jewelry, woodwork, stuffed animals, figurines, and toys. If I had the funds I would have invested in one of the wood-carved D&D polyhedral dice boxes. Oh goodness... a girl can dream. 

By this time of day, the bustle of the day—and the weariness it induced—was beginning to come upon me. Conventions, it seems, can take a lot of energy out of you. Before our lunch break, however, we tuned in to the Five Nights at Freddy’s lore presentation. I must admit, I am not cultured enough to understand the nuances of the bite of '87. The only significant cultural information I can offer is a reference to that one clip of Markiplier. It was fun to see my friends enthusiastic about it, though.  

Pictured: "Was that the bite of '87?"

After lunch, we returned to the convention and participated in an escape room. It was a ten-minute one that had a few puzzles to solve. We were placed in a group of around 15 people and were tasked with finding various items that culminated in a collective mental synthesis over a kind of riddle. Well—it may not have been a riddle. I don’t remember it all too clearly. But the good news is that we escaped—albeit with only a few seconds on the clock. 

Pictured: Waiting in line before our endeavor at the SwampCon escape room.

Our last stop of the day was an event that my friend had threatened to take me to for months: Bad Fanfiction Reading (18+). Well... it is what it sounds like. Two hosts read to the vast audience of conventioneers while volunteers from the crowd reenacted the fanfics like a stage play. The (18+) part is important, as it was just as much vulgar as it was silly! Hah. Well it was an experience to say the least. I did have my fair share of giggles.

Pictured: Bad Fanfiction Reading opening slide.

Pictured: "Oh... how nervous we are to witness Bad Fanfiction Reading!"

We parted ways after that and I went home to hang up my newly acquired prints and rest! 

This little reflection reminded me of all the fun I had with my friends. Conventions can be a very wonderful way to interact with others who share your interests. I will most certainly be attending next year. 

Pictured: Heading home.

[shingekinohyrulewrites]

Unteachable

After a chance encounter at your town's Summer's End Carnival, you hook up with a hottie.

Only to find out he's your English teacher.

Read first chapter here

Read previous chapter here

Now that your friends knew you were taken, you were a little more laidback when it came to talking about Kai. You always made sure to keep his identity secret, only talking about the types of dates you went on or the type of boyfriend he was. Your friends were dying to know more but you were always so coy.

Even Kai noticed how much more laidback you seemed, even at school. He often had to remind you to be careful, as others could be watching you two. The two of you were preparing to spend Thanksgiving break together, trying to figure out ways to see each other during your week off. With your parents working most of the week, you were hoping you could just spend hours with him.

It was the Thursday before Thanksgiving break, and the room was buzzing with excitement. The next day was a short one, with early dismissal after lunch. Kai was working hard to keep you all in check, reminding you that the outline for your final paper for the semester would be due the week you came back. You were sneaking smiles at Kai, trying hard not to stare too obviously at him.

“Alright, enjoy your Thanksgiving break! I will see you in two weeks.”

Everyone rushed out, saying goodbye to Kai. You took your time, packing your belongings slowly and watching your friends walk out. They were too excited to leave and didn't notice you staying behind. As soon as you two were alone, you slowly walked over to his desk. You stopped in front of it, placing your hands onto it as you leaned in towards him.

“Do you have to stay after the bell tomorrow?”

He glanced at the door nervously before shaking his head.

“No, thankfully our break starts at the bell just like you.”

“Do you want to grab lunch or something?”

Sighing, Kai walked over to close the door. He stood in front of it, crossing his arms as he gave you a stern look.

“Why don’t we wait until Monday? You have me for the whole week, angel.”

“But I want you for even more time, Kai.”

You sauntered over to him slowly, smirking as you unbuttoned your blouse.

“Don’t you want more of me, Kai?”

His golden eyes flickered over the exposed skin, his Adam’s apple bobbing. When you came to a stop in front of him he grabbed your wrist, pulling you towards him.

“We’re toeing the line here, sweetheart. At this point, I feel like you want to get caught.”

You frowned, trying to yank your hand away.

“Of course not. You know I hate when you say that.”

Kai sighed as you walked away, standing in front of his desk. You felt his hand gently grab your shoulder, rubbing it apologetically.

“I’m sorry, I know. Look, why don’t we grab dinner instead? We can each lay low for a while and then see each other.”

He helped you sit on the desk, standing in between your legs as you wrapped your arms around his neck. You stared up at him, tangling your fingers in his soft brown locks as he pressed his forehead against yours.

“We shouldn’t. Someone can come in right now.”

“You’re the one who did this, Kai.”

You lifted your head up to kiss him, giving him a small peck. He relaxed, seeming okay with that but you urged him on, grabbing his hands and sliding them up your thighs. You began to kiss his neck, grazing your teeth along the skin before biting down. He hissed, his bulge pressing against your inner thigh.

“Angel . . .”

“We’ll be quick,” you murmured.

You lifted your skirt, guiding his hand to your core and letting him feel how wet you were. He moved his forehead to your shoulder, panting as he let his finger pull your panties aside to push in.

“Hey Mr. Chisaki, I’m sorry I forgot my -”

It felt as if the air had been sucked out of the room. Jiro was standing there, mouth open but eyes frozen wide. Her eyes were stuck on Kai’s hand two fingers deep in you. They slowly lifted to meet your face. You could feel the color drain from your face and, for a second, you thought you were going to be sick. Kai was just as frozen as you, his eyes low as he was unsure where he should look.

“Well, I’m definitely interrupting something.”

Jiro crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow as she stared at you shrewdly. Kai slowly stepped away, wiping his fingers on his pants before clearing his throat.

“Ms. Kyoka,” Kai started, his voice slightly shaky.

She ignored him, instead choosing to leer at you.

“Is this why you rejected Kirishima? He’s been devastated since the Halloween party, you know.”

You felt your heart sink in your chest. Biting your lip in an effort to prevent tears, you looked away.

“I mean, I heard that you had some hot, faraway boyfriend, but who would have thought it was our English teacher?”

“Look -” you began, but Jiro held up a hand.

“Not my place to say anything. You’re of age to consent, whatever.”

She walked past the both of you towards her desk, bending down to grab the textbook underneath. Silently she put it into her backpack and slung it over her shoulder, exchanging one last look between the both of you.

“Like I said, none of my business. Fucked up, but not my problem.”

With that she walked out, not saying another word. You were afraid to look at Kai, afraid that he would be completely angry at you and not be able to forgive you. Keeping your eyes low, you finished gathering your belongings and began heading to the door.

“Wait, you’re just going to leave?”

Kai’s voice was panicked. You turned to face him slowly, surprised to see the fear expressed perfectly.

“Well, what are we going to do?”

“How friendly are you with Ms. Kyoka? Can you . . . fix this?”

You sighed.

“She, uh . . . kind of hates me.”

“Great,” he sighed.

“Look, I’ll talk to her and see what I can do.”

He leaned against his desk, shutting his eyes as he tilted his head back.

“Okay. Let me know what happens.”

You stepped out into the quiet hallway and let out a breath that you had been holding. The shock of it all had subsided and your body was beginning to tremble. You forced yourself to walk slowly down the hallway towards the exit, nervously tugging on the strap of your backpack. Once outside you tried to suck in as much air as possible in an effort to calm you.

“Yo.”

You jumped. Jiro was waiting for you, a slight smirk on her face.

“Jiro,” you breathed out.

“You want a ride?”

The walk to her car was awkward, and you fumbled into the passenger seat. Jiro settled into the driver’s seat but made no move to start the car.

“How long.”

You bit your lip, glancing outside the window.

“The Carnival.”

“Oh, that’s where you were off to that night.”

“Look, I didn’t know that he was our teacher until the first day of school. I thought he was a college student.”

“But you still pursued him.”

You sighed again. “Yes, I pursued him. He didn’t want to continue what we had started for obvious reasons.”

“Hm.”

You were down the street from your house when she suddenly pulled over. Jiro shut off the car and turned her body to face you.

“Like I said before, you are of age to consent to this, but it doesn’t mean that it’s right. I think it’s especially fucked up because of Kirishima. He’s basically been in love with you since, well, forever.”

A part of you had always known that Kirishima had feelings for you, but you had always just seen him as a friend. Your reveal of having a boyfriend had confirmed K’s feelings towards you, and a part of you had felt guilty.

“I’m not going to be a snitch. Just be careful, that’s all I’m going to say.”

With that she unlocked the doors, gesturing for you to get out. Without saying a single word you got out, closing the door gently before walking numbly down the street to your house. Thankfully your parents weren’t home, so you dragged your feet up the stairs into your bedroom, where you promptly collapsed into your bed.

The tears came fast.

[the-trinket-witch]

TWISTED FEARS, PT 1

S.T.Y.X Log A-113

"This is Idia Shroud. Due to Some events going on this past year, I'm taking it on myself to investigate Night Raven College for any additional…weird activity. I'm transcribing the Videos recorded from devices I've placed in every dorm domain on the premise of it being an anonymous audio diary. Told the Headmaster it would be cheaper than hiring a counselor. Of course, they don't know there's video of all this, I need some through-lines and for that I need faces. Though, knowing which guys are spilling their guts into a mic is a lil interesting, kinda funny too, hehe. -ahem- Alright, to note these have been transcribed as they come in. So events may be out of order. With that let's dive on in."

Statement of Scarabia student 1-25, regarding his concern for his Vice Dorm Head. 

Statement Begins:

“I feel really bad for Jamil, I’ll say right outta the gate. He works super hard for Scarabia, I honestly don’t know what we’d do without him. Kalim, our Dorm Leader, is a great guy too! He's super resourceful-knows how to think on his toes. And I think, in any other circumstance, he's something I think our dorm needs! 

But…for context, I'm on the Magift team. No big secret that…we didn't make finals. I'm disappointed in myself, and I think a lotta the guys are. But then, Scarabia kinda, collectively, fell last in our finals scores. I tried, so hard, to keep my scores up, and I even had some tutoring from both Azul AND Jamil. I dunno how our Vice Dorm Head does it: does all the duties that come with that title, do awesome in basketball, tutors just about anybody who asks, and…takes care of our Dorm Leader. 

It's kind of an open secret that Kalim got in a bit after Jamil. He's been trying to quell rumors that he got in by his family bribing the school.  I hadn't heard of it before he said something, he just asked me one day if I heard of the rumor and not to spread it. But now that he mentions it, I've been hearing it more and more. I don't even think Kalim even knows. I…can't say I haven't told anybody.

Sorry, back to the whole finals thing. We didn't do real hot. Aaaand that kinda stuff falls into the Dorm Leader's lap. He's supposed to lead us and we all dropped the ball. Kinda should have seen this coming. Kalim is such a party animal. If it isn't birthdays, it's a win for any of the sports teams, or someone doing well on a test. I can sometimes see Jamil running around getting all this stuff done for it and I just feel… bad about it. I've offered to help a lotta the time and he seems so relieved whenever someone comes to offer. And he seems to trust me enough to tell me…things. 

He's telling me Kalim has been losing sleep lately over all this. And it's making him irritable. I can tell-he's been getting weirdly snappy at people, lately. When he gets that way, he starts talking about cracking down on getting our scores and skill up. Jamil says he's supposedly talking about having a kind of 'Winter Break Boot-Camp'. He seems kinda resigned to it already.  I'm not looking forward to it, but he asked me while we were making lunch, the other day if I'd be willing to stay over break. If just for support. And…I wanted to. I just couldn't say no. 

I kept wanting to talk myself out of it-go back and tell Jamil I can't. I want to see my folks this holiday, but everytime I think about saying no, it feels like I'm getting yanked by my brainstem back to 'yes'. My eyes burned all night, thinking about it. I'll give it a shot,  but I ain't happy about it.. I know if Kalim keeps his weird attitude shift up, I don't even know if I really want him as my dorm leader next semester."

Statement ends.

Addendum: corroborating interviews with Ortho have turned up…nothing. I had him ask about anything weird happening over the break, and all he gets is that there was some extra practice and studying going on, but nobody says they remember anything outside of that. Must have been that boring. That or their brains have all collectively fried in that Scarabia heat. 

[ladyazulina]

Azu is Talking - Back to Classes

This week started the best way it could have been. My partner met my friends. That’s such a huge step, right? They’re like my sisters from another mother, so I guess it is. And we had so much fun and they kind of approved of him and accepted him, so everything felt a lot better. Not that I needed their approval or acceptance, but, you know, it would have sucked then.

This is the farthest someone has come so far. It feels so grounding and unbelievable at the same time. Like, I am the one living this experience and it feels so out of this planet.

I never in my life thought I would live long enough to experience this. I didn’t have a long expectation for my own life either, so there’s not much I had on my list of things to do.

There’s so much in there now.

Going back to classes is not really there, though, but we do what we have to do.

Creative Monday and Backstage Thursday will have a segment called Having to Attend Classes for the rest of the year now. I mean, at least hopefully. I have a bad track of having to withdraw a minimum of one class per semester and for that, I used to sign up for a maximum of four classes. I only got two this time, one of those virtual. Trying to recover from withdrawing the last whole semester—it was a hit in every possible aspect.

Oh, I’m studying English, though the full career name is Modern Languages. Studying languages when you can barely understand your own is definitely a challenge, and I wasn’t all the smart I could have been when I decided to study that, but I guess that for being a writer and an editor and such, having an English degree could come in handy? Maybe? I haven’t found an answer to it, but there’s always hope.

I don’t believe I will have all the time to be creative on Mondays now, having to spend most of the day in college for one class. I mean, I was part of it this Monday, was released early because we don’t have an assigned classroom, and took a detour to get the passport photos taken from a studio (the site’s staff didn’t take those either, I don’t even know what to say now), and still reached home exhausted to try to be creative.

I need a long time to destress after spending some time out of home. Lunch was being made when I arrived, so after showering, I waited for it and decided to spend a whole hour watching a series episode to just… breathe. There was a power outage two minutes away from finishing it, so I took my Azuverse map to outline it with a fine black pen (I HATED the results) and wrote down some ideas.

The power was back in time for my coffee break with my partner (the goddess blesses his soul, he was waiting for me until the very last minute—but also was I). So we went to take our coffee and share about our days. Me showering and both of us having our respective lunches apart didn’t let us do that right after I was back from outside.

After that, though, it was late enough to get into the plan of the day I had outlined before the power outage. With only this week left to turn in the [REDACTED] adventure’s revision, I went hard to work. And focused only on that until finishing it, though I didn’t expect to finish it that day.

But that helped me to not stress over it on Review Tuesday as well. After all, we had another power outage right at the start of the day. For once, I slept ten hours, but just when I was ready to turn on my laptop to start the day, the power went out.

It was maddening.

I took out my notebook to try another creative session, but it had been a while since the last letter I wrote my partner (something I started on our very first monthly. He already received the first batch, of 22 letters—I wrote the thirtieth one that day), so I did that first. The thing is, the power was back after the first line. Its going and coming back wasn’t going to control me, so I very well finished the letter before powering on my laptop.

And the Review Tuesday went as it should.

Read this week’s review, The School for Good and Evil.

I got to schedule the last post from Linney’s Campaign. Even though I wanted to schedule two posts, I decided I could take a break by finishing with it, so I didn’t overwork myself (I was getting toasted already).

This week’s review, though, surprised me. I didn’t remember I didn’t have (or, most likely, lost) favorite phrases. Knowing the book and taking a look at my opinion, it could be understandable, but even in a book like that, in a trilogy like that, in a series like that… there’s stuff I can like. It’s already proven, sadly. Fortunately, I having no saved favorite phrases made it all faster to go through. And I will always love faster review posting, no kidding.

Iron Valley, Linney's Campaign, is being live every Tuesday.

On Working Wednesday, I also started the day with a power outage. It was slightly later than the previous day and more or less lasted the same, equally annoying, but nothing to do about it, so I just rolled with it, I guess.

There is a beauty in being disconnected from the world. I don’t have nice neighbors, so that’s not one. Most of my house is shrouded in darkness without power, so that’s not another. Most if not all of my work is online, so definitely not that. But there is beauty, I swear!

I overestimated, again, the amount of time it would take me to upload the workshops on Patreon. Eight new tiers total, four in Spanish and four in English. I did the biggest one first, in Spanish, and when I finished and saw the hour I decided I had one of two: or I only uploaded the English version of that same one I already did, or I uploaded all of the other Spanish tiers. The second option held the biggest weight in my mind, so that’s what I did, I’m sorry. Next week it will be the English turn, we’re so close!

And I felt so… in the right place. As if that was a step I had to take on my path. Not grounding, but… I don’t know how to describe it. It was my own decision, I decided to do that, but even when I just posted it and there was still no one signed up, it felt like it was meant to be.

Not happy yet –I will be when my community starts growing– but content. Being content with life is such an underrated feeling.

On Backstage Thursday, everything was rolling… nicely. I got back into editing the projects—should I say that when it has been just two non-consecutive days so far? I did my thematic activity and I’m close to finishing one of those sections. I was supposed to have a virtual class, and I was in the waiting, watching over the stuff I had at hand, but the professor appeared through the WhatsApp group like ten minutes before the class ended (it’s only one scheduled hour) to say that we would start meeting next week, and… 🙏🏼 I practiced some meditation because he seemed nice. I had a coffee break as a reward, and just when I was settling back, deciding (or trying to remember) what should I do next, a small power outage happened. It came almost right back, but it threw me out of place. As I was unable to situate myself properly to start something else, I decided I could just chill down. It’s always good and it seemed to be the perfect moment to do so.

On Secret Friday, I had a session zero to playtest my partner’s recent game. It’s going to be only a one-shot, but the players’ schedules aren’t matching, so we decided to hold a session zero to raise interest and feel like we’re doing something about it… because it doesn’t seem like we will play it next week. After that, I spent the afternoon with my partner while also being so excited about my character. I’m doing this weird thing that ties together the three different characters I have played so far, including the ones from the previous two campaigns, so I was fleshing out that one character that went through those three different moments of life because I was unable to take it out of my mind after the session zero; the big hole I had in their story was filled up with the third character that came during the session. And it was so exciting.

After the video call with my partner ended, I finished The Big Secret Thing™ I was doing for him. I still have a few things to wrap around for his birthday, but I feel like I can focus on other stuff before it arrives. And that’s nice. I still have lots to do.

Playful Saturday was a slow day, more like just a normal Saturday, or just like the weekend feeling. I did not get into writing about my playthrough of the solo game, I wasn’t feeling like it. I mostly spent the day with my partner, replied to an author’s newsletter, and tried to keep myself awake until nighttime ‘cause I was so sleepy and hazy. After dinner, my partner started his own campaign from the same solo game and I witnessed such a small part of it before crashing.

We’re well aware the haziness and sleepiness are being pre symptoms of my period this time, so I’m just trying to take it easy and peachy. That’s mostly why the weekly arrived this late in comparison. I also busied myself with other stuff to do –a reading session, editions, a moment with friends–, and could have attended this earlier anyway, but… moods and energies and all that.

I did it anyway in the end, I guess that’s what matters.

[armyhome]

(Un) Perfects | Beomgyu

⇢ summary: Lilo is a complicated girl, but also is Beomgyu and the journey of both are a mess.

⇢ pairing: Lilo x Beomgyu.

⇢ a/n: hi my people, it's being a long time since lost in your love story right? well i was really trapped in this thing called adulthood, it's sucks i know, but for me is always better then anything i lived while i was a tennager, i'm working on that on therapy I promise, which is why this story came to me, I think, here you will find deep things about me, so please don't judge... too much... ok?I know we live in a plastic society today, where everyone is so perfect and lives those perfect lives, but in this story everyone is (un)perfect, like me, so I'm showing the most human that my perfectionism allowed me to be, hope you all undertand.

Chapter 1: Attention.

Chapter 2: Ditto

Beomgyu's POV

All this semester I have had a nemesis, yes a nemesis, there's no one on this planet that pisses me off more than Lilo Fisher, this girl is capable to bring out the worst in me, she thinks that knows everything, and judges everyone from the high pedestal she put herself on because she is so spoiled. 

"You should take a picture if you gonna stare her that much…" Hueningkai says giving my test, I blushed like I was found doing something wrong.

"And congrats to Miss Fisher, you had first place in the class," Lilo smiled at the paper in front of her, and then look directly at me, I hate her so much when she gives me that full-of-teeth smile. 

"Thank you, professor" Hueningkai sits next to her "Should we go celebrate lunching with Soobin oppa?" She asks him, 

"Oh, so you're not running to Sunday guy?" Hueningkai messes with her hair, and Lilo seems shy for feel seconds.

"Well is not Sunday so…"

"Okay, I'll accept not to only celebrate your ego, but I also miss my boyfriend so much…" In my wildest dreams, I call Yeonjun like this. 

My boyfriend, not only my best friend, mom says it's a curse on our family, cause when she was a teenager she also fall for a boy that end up being gay, so was my turn to fall for a straight guy and we laugh together, sometimes I really don't understand how an angel like her get marry with someone like my dad.

I leave class without looking at Lilo once, afraid of Hueningkai finding me doing something wrong again, when I was in the hall I hear some girl screaming at her boyfriend.

"YOU NEVER DO ANYTHING RIGHT, HOW CAN SOMEONE BE SO USELESS," she says, and then memories of my dad saying the same thing to me and my mom invaded my mind and became hard to breathe, I was far from him, living in another city with nana and my mom I try to remember myself, I was frozen, in the middle of my leaving room at my old house, my dad was breaking stuff like always, I could feel the smell of that place again.

"Hey idiot, are you okay?" I hear someone that seems really far call me, familiar but I was stuck on that memory "Listen to me, you are safe here" Dads break another thing and the voice became far I try to follow but it was hard to connect "I need you to take a deep breath, follow my voice I'm right here…" I inspire the air with all strength that I have than exile "Nice, you're doing great, the place you're stuck, has a television or a radio?" What f was that question?  I look at the leaving room, dad still screaming I see the radio right next to the sofa "Take another deep breath, can you turn it on?" I breathe one more time, was so hard but I turn the radio on so I a hear a song, a calming song in my ears.

"Stay in the middle, like you are little" slowly I was taking control of my breathing again, I open my eyes, and found Lilo's brown eyes, they were so dark, like puss in boots eyes, what heck, she took a deep breath and I follow her movements "Someone calls the emergency, they're coming to help you" She was holding the headphones on my head "Sorry if I cross the line getting this close of you, but this was something my mom used to do with me when I had a panic attack…" She step back, and I hold her hand, was too afraid to come back to that room inside my mind, if Lilo disappears maybe I get locked in that place again. So the paramedical put the oxygen mask on me and slowly I feel more connected with reality. 

"Don't need to call my mom…" I whisper.

"She's already here child," The nurse says to me while checking my heart frequency "You should be taking medicine for those you know that right?"

"I take, was just a random episode, too much stuff at the same time…moving houses, changing school…" I try to explain, so Yeonjun enters the room. 

"Are you okay Beomgyu?" He seems so worried that makes my heart flutter.

"I'm fine hyung" Yeonjun holds my hand, his touch was so rough, because of guitar training, that's for some dumb reason reminds me of Lilo holding my hand, helping me to keep calm, but her touch was soft, of course, she never works her entire life, that's why her spoiled hands were so soft. 

"My baby," mom's says looking at me "Are you hurt? A kind girl with a cute name give me this, say it that's for you" Mom give me a small bear, the size of a charming key, on his belly was writing [BREATH] "But she said she still bit you up, on school tests! I like her!" I roll my eyes, this was such a Lilo Fisher thing to do "I think she likes you so make sure that she knows you are not interested" Yeonjun laugh.

"She would never do that because she is my half-sister that hates me and Beomgyu for the occasion of being my best friend" Best friend is better than nothing Choi Beomgyu, I tell myself I hold the bear, was so soft, made for squeezy.

"I don't know if she cares about you that much Junnie, look, we hate each other, but she takes care of me the whole time" I got nothing to lose, her voice singing in my mind, dam it. I have everything to lose Lilo.

"She seems in love with someone else," His eyes became darker, oh Yeonjun, please don't fall for that spoiled girl, don't break my heart like this "Lilo helped because she is a good person you liking it or not" 

"How can you call a good person someone that says those things about your mom?" Yeonjun took a deep breath, and sigh.

"My little sis and my dad passed away, one month later she was having an affair with Henry while his wife was surviving... an sorry about my mouth aunt, mother f cancer, mom is not saint, Lilo has her reasons…" One more time he is on her side, this makes me mad, even when I know he is right.

"Okay, I need to rest, can we go home mom?" 

We stay in silence all the way home, I hold that dame bear like if I dropped I would come back to that place in my mind, why wasn't Yeonjun the one to take care of me? Why do I feel like I need to do something for her? 

The next day was Friday and I decided to spend it at home, my body's energy was drained, watching tv shows, and for so dumb reasons Saturday night I drive downtown, San Seoul was always in a party vibe, and I need have fun, I don't drink because my medicines, but I laugh with old friends, people that I don't have to hide anything of me. I dance, and kiss some boy that I don't even know the name of, but was so good to feel that someone was desiring me, and I was desiring him. 

"Come with us to the Truck party, has a lot of good music, and people that are fun Beom," The boy says, I just follow him, someone was singing in the back of a truck, which explains the party's name 

So one more time I feel like I was found doing the wrong thing, Hueninkai's eyes found me, that guy has a gay radar on him, how did he always know where to look to find me?  He smiled at me and waved, I look back to see if he wasn't talking with another person, but he walks in my direction with his boyfriend, Choi Soobin. 

"I'm so glad to see you here all health Beomgyu hyung," Hueningkai says smiling, ah, he is having empathy by the episode at school, ew "That way Lilo will shut up about being worried as a human being" He imitates her voice perfectly "And will come back to be obsessed only about that Sunday guy" Hueningkai rolls his eyes.

"Wait, Lilo is here?" I ask and Soobin nodded. 

"Yes she will be the main performance since Ariel is somewhere," He says "I don't wanna hear her complain after Lilo became a successful singer, because that boy "Soobin whistles "The way Lilo sings is almost a spiritual thing, I will buy some soda for you Kai, do you guys want something?" We denied and Soobin left. 

"I think you're so great Hueningkai" The boy hugging me says "Date a bisexual guy implies on really trust, I would be jealous even about the way he was talking about your bestie"

"Do you know Lilo?" I ask the boy in my arms, and he denies "Well she is like a diva, doesn't matter what sexuality you will feel something for her, hate or love," I sigh "And please be respectful about other people's sexuality, what you just say was so biphobic…" I explain gently"

"Oh my god, you are so boring right now, I'm leaving" No one will miss you, I wanna say but wasn't a need for any drama.

"Thank you Beomgyu" Hueningkai whispered, "I'm glad Soobin didn't hear that bull shit, he struggled enough because of people with opinions like his…" 

"Don't worry" I saw Soobing coming in our direction and trying to change the subject "So if Lilo is that great singer, why Ariel is the one always in the lead?"

"Lilo didn't sing anything before she meet this Sunday boy, was a surprise for us too" Hueningkai explains "Beside him, you're the only person she talks about, but don't say to her that I told you" 

"So Yeonjun was right she is in love with someone" The words just runway from my mouth.

"How does he know? I, Soobin, and Ariel were the only ones to know until now…" Hueningkai looks at me "And being honest if your friend even breaths closer to Lilo, she will not be kind like she was with you…" And is like my mind is completely a puzzle, the way Yeonjun talks to me, his eyes, his almost jealous, he knowing Lilo was in love with someone. I gasp, that was so cruel, even me hating Lilo, my god "Beomgyu, I don't know to do what Lilo did at school so don't freak me out and breath!"

"It's him Hueninkai" I saw Soobin losing his breath too. 

"Him what?" Soobin sighs at Hueningkai's question.

"She will be so devastated, she is so in love with him…" Soobin mumbles.

"Do you both know who is?" Hueningkai was shocked. 

"Yeonjun is Sunday guy Kai," I say at the end. 

"Hi everyone my name is Lilo, my best friend in life Ariel that is a way best singer than me couldn't make it today, but I hope you all enjoy my voice too… So let's go!" Lilo said at the top of a truck. 

Soobin was so right, hearing Lilo sing was a spiritual experience, I think it was because she canalizes all her feeling on that, and Lilo was someone with a lot of feelings, deep feelings, I wish I could protect her as she did with me, but you can't protect people for themselves. All over the internet, I was the kind that never believes what is on the internet, but maybe just this once,  I always read that gay guys have their own divas, maybe Lilo was mine. But I would never tell her that.

"Hueningkai, I think we must do something I will try to talk with Yeonjun tomorrow, see if everything that I'm thinking is thruth, can you distract Lilo for feel hours?" Hueninkai looks at Soobin, that seems positive about my idea.

"Yes, but you unless has a plan?" I sigh.

"First I will check if Sunday guy is really Yeonjun, then if was relly him, I call you, and you call her saying is an emergency"  Hueningkai thinks for while.

"Okay, I can do that, and I know is your best friend, but if he is doing that, he is a idiot" 

"I love my Lilo, but she dosen't have the best personality eider, maybe they both just going throught a lot" Soobin coments.

"Yes, I prefer think that way too" I say thinking about everything Yeonjun survived this years. 

"Sorry if I'm being too nousing…" Soobin starts "But he knows about your feeling for him?" So I felt my face burn, and Hueningkai quickly says.

"You don't have to answer, this is not his busness" I never said out loud my feeling for Yeonjun but would be good.

"He dosen't, and I preferer keep that way" And was like taking out something heavy from may shoulders "Only my mom and my grandma knows I'm gay" 

"Untill minutes before I could swer you were bisexual by the way you were looking at Lilo" Soobin comments, and Hueningkai slaps softly his arms.

"You think everyone is bisexual! Dosen't even need a reason!" Hueningkai accuses his boyfriend. 

"I need stand for my people! You know how much we and the other with a no binary sexuality suffers in this comunity? We're call perves, confusing, etc. We need stay together!" I laugh because of the voice tone Soobins was using, was so great have an comfortable conversation with close age friends.

"Well I have being gay since I was born, almost fifiteen year…" Soobin smiles. "The same way people discover they're bisexual after a lot heterosexual relationships, some people discover on the otherwise… Sexuality can be fluid as a river." Hueningkai roll his eyes.

"Can you please respect Beomgyus sexuality? He stands for you just an hour ago, don't make him regreat" Soobin expression change, and I smile at him.

"Sorry, I don't mean being pushing or anything"

"I don't mind, is really great to have friends to talk about those things!" So they both hug me, this makes me frooze in surprise.

"We got your back" They say together.

Chapter 3: Hype Boy

[jjksblackgf]

for a good time | myg (m)

 ❃ Festivaled Away: Burning Memories Music Festival hosted by @bangtanbathhouse  ⤞ Ticket: era of music  ⤞ Main Event: based on a song  ⤞ Games: phone sex

 ⤞ based on the song Don't Look Any Further by Dennis Edwards

pairing — phone sex operator!yoongi x fem reader summary — How many dimes does it take to make you cum, baby? genre — fluff, smut, 80's au, angst if you squint rate — 18+ word count — 3.5k warnings — explicit sexual content, nicotine use, phone sex, public (ish) sex, dirty talk, degradation, alcohol intake. author's note — big thanks to Sophie @kookskingdom for letting me use her name. I love you, baby <33

“Good morning New York City! It's 7:20 in the morning here at the Z100 station. Don’t forget to grab your coats before you leave for work, the weather is not going to be nice for those who like to stay above the 70º Fahrenheit.” 

The radio host continued to make the morning announcements, but Y/N could only think of the hot coffee on her mug, and the pop tarts on her plate. She looks at the calendar placed in the kitchen, and she can almost count the days until her semester is over. She’s so not going to miss NYU when she graduates. I should’ve taken advantage of Spring Break to catch up on sleep when I had the chance. 

“And now, the number one song on the charts, here at 100.3 FM… ‘We Are the World’...”

“Have a good day in class today, honey.”

“Thanks, dad.”

“Eat a big lunch later, don’t forget that you have your study session today.”

Pigs could fly, hell could freeze over, the sky could fall, Nixon could win the war on drugs, but one thing that could never happen is Y/N forgetting about her weekly study session at her campus library. 

“Don’t worry, mom,” she affirms in a chipper tone.

Not much drama happens at this small two bedroom apartment. Y/N’s life is fairly normal for a 20-year-old college student. She has breakfast with her parents every morning before catching two trains from Queens to Manhattan. Then, she thanks God for having only a three block walk from the station to her classes. She works part time at a local diner, on Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays from 1 to 7 PM, and every Thursday she spends her afternoon babysitting the neighbor’s babies while studying for her classes.

Very boring routine. Except for Wednesdays. 

On the west side of Washington Square Park, in front of NYU’s Hayden Residence building, there’s a payphone that sits in between some bushes and a tree that resides inside the park’s limits. At 3 PM, while there’s a low traffic of pedestrians, she calls Magic.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Magic,” says the nasal voice. His usual 2:30 PM client, Mrs. Kelly. 

“Is that what you’re calling me?” Magic asks, “I thought we agreed I was going to be the submissive today,” he adds before taking a puff of his cigarette. 

“I have an emergency staff meeting in about ten minutes, so we’ll have to continue our experimentation tomorrow. I just need a quickie before I implode,”

“Okay, so why don’t you open those pretty legs for me? And you better be wearing the stockings I like if you don’t want to be punished.”

“Fuck, you’re good,” she whispers in the other line, and Magic smiles. Middle aged women are just so easy to please. “They’re all open for you, Mr. Magic. But I have been a bad girl. I’m wearing the brown ones.”

“Well then, all there’s left to do is to punish you, isn’t it?” he says before taking another hit, and Mrs. Kelly whimpers in pleasure and anticipation, “Are your office doors closed?”

“Yes, they are, Mister.”

“Tsk, that’s very bad, you see? Very, very bad!”

“W-Why?” Mrs. Kelly asks, anxiety now mixed with desire.

“Well, you’re gonna have to learn who’s really in charge here. So I need you to open that door and let everyone in that reception of yours know who’s your boss.”

“W-What?”

“You heard me, I don’t have to repeat myself,”

“Magic, I could get fired, please don’t do this to me…” Mrs. Kelly starts to beg in a whisper.

“Is Mr. Magic for you, and I don’t have all day. And if I recall correctly, you have a staff meeting in about five minutes,”

He sincerely thought he was about to lose a client, a daily client at that. He could not afford to lose a regular client, but he was in too deep now. But before he could regret it too deeply, he hears a door open on the other end of the line. He gives Mrs. Kelly a minute to readjust before giving her more orders.

“Good girl. But your punishment is just starting, darling,” Magic says as he blows smoke one more time, “You’re going to grab a pen and make a run on that ugly pantyhose. Right on that pretty little cunt. After that you’re going to write “I belong to Mr. Magic” on your inner thigh. Narrate those things while you do it so I know you’re being an obedient girl.”

2:43 PM

‘Fraternity Vacation’, that’s so interesting! Comedies are always great, even the ones with bad critic reviews, you can always count on shitty movies to… 

2:43 PM

UGH! Was time never going to pass? Y/N was getting impatient for her weekly appointment, and reading and rereading the movie’s section of the paper wasn’t entertaining her like it usually does.

Such a nice blouse that lady has… Oh, what a cute puppy!... I wish I had a dog when I was growing up… That tree is getting kind of bushy… The city’s going to do something about that, but it looks so pretty right now…

Y/N was skilled on how to distract herself, and it was always a plus to live in New York City, there’s always something you can stare at and form an opinion to pass the time. She noticed many different hair cuts, how the pigeons were behaving today, the sounds of the food carts a few yards over.

It didn’t slip her mind when she started fantasizing about her and Magic. It happened often. Every time she’d notice a young couple making out, she’d wish it was her and Magic. Watching an old couple sit on a park bench and read the paper together, wishing it was her and Magic. Watching teenagers sharing an ice cream, wishing it was her and Magic.

She also had fantasies of her own. Walking through the park holding hands, pointing to her favorite tree. They would sit there and have an impromptu picnic, buying a couple of hotdogs with mustard. She would open a book and read her favorite passages, and he would listen while caressing her back and arms.

But she quickly pushed those thoughts away once she noticed an old lady smiling at her.

“Oh, I’m sorry, dear. I didn’t mean to startle you,” the old lady says “I just noticed your smile, and it reminded me of when I was about your age, my first marriage,” the lady says, longing thickening her voice. “I was so in love with my Harold, I thought I was going to throw up, and shit my pants,”

“Oh, wow!” Y/N says, not really invested in the conversation, waiting for an opening to excuse herself.

“Young love is so beautiful, your cheeks get all flushed, your head gets woozy, and you feel drunk all day…” Y/N just nods, looking around, trying to diffuse the conversation. “But you have to be careful, sugar. These men are only here to flirt with you and break your heart! You listen to me!”

“I will! Thanks for the advice,” Y/N smiles awkwardly, and finally gets out of there. 

Love. What about love? That lady doesn’t know anything. I’m not in love. I’m just horny, not in love. I hope.

With the coins in the machine, she dials the known number. It only rings once before the familiar voice picks up.

“You’re never late, are you?” Magic jokes at the other end of the line. His husky voice, so luscious, sends butterflies down her stomach, making Y/N drop her guard, and laugh like a teenager in love. Shit.

“I try my best not to be,” Y/N replies, trying to keep the silly smile off her voice. No need to embarrass herself any further. 

“By the way, happy early birthday,” he wishes, his voice sincere.

“Oh my God, you remembered!” Was it three weeks ago that she had mentioned her birthday party? Probably. And he remembered.

“Of course! I need you to have a wild night this Saturday, and have a drink in my honor,”

“Absolutely,” she says, screaming on the inside. Shit, I’m really in love with him.

“So, how was your day today?”

“Mostly boring. The only thing that kept me perky was the thought that I would talk to you today.”

“Oh, really? That’s flattering,” Magic says, and she fantasizes that he also has a silly smile on his face. “So we’re feeling soft today,”

“Yeah, we haven’t talked in a while.”

“Seven days to be exact,”

“Yeah…” Stop acting like he’s your boyfriend. He isn’t. Stop the fantasies! Get your shit together. “So, how was your week?”

“Fine, mostly boring work hours,” he chuckles.

“I hope you’re not saying this to the other girls. That’s not a nice way to encourage your paying clients,” Y/N scolds.

“Would you forgive me if I confessed that I thought about you this whole week?”

“I don’t think so. I’m sure you say this to every other client,”

“That’s not true. You’re the only one I read poems to,” Magic says, trying to cheer her up. He can tell she’s not well. Her voice is not as chipper as it usually is. He hears her sigh on the other end of the line. “Is there something on your mind? Talk to me,”

“I don’t know, I’m just feeling loopy today, that’s all.”

“And you don’t feel like doing anything today?”

“Actually, I think that’s kind of the opposite,” she chuckles, “Distract me, please,”

“I thought about you while taking a shower today,” Magic confesses. 

“You did not!” she whispers, excited.

“I did, too!” he chuckles, “I was washing my hair, imagining if you’d like the scent of my shampoo. I was soaping my body, wishing those were your hands instead of mine.”

“Oh, God,”

“I would’ve kissed your hands before guiding them down my chest, down my abs,”

“Shut up,” she whines in a whisper, but that only entices Magic to continue.

“You would’ve reached me, and I would be ready for your hands. I would be at your mercy. There would be no commands from me, my body would be yours,” Yoongi closes his eyes, taking a deep breath to calm himself, he’s feeling his pants getting tighter. Never with a client Yoongi wanted to cross this boundary and touch himself. At least not without being requested to.

He desperately wanted to moan her name, and touch himself, and touch her. But that would be inappropriate. So he places his free hand on his neck, firmly. This hand would not move without Y/N asking him to. But his imagination was still running wild, and there was nothing more he wanted to do than say those words to her.

“Mmhm,” Y/N prompted, her voice a little husky, sounding like she has a moaning trouble of her own.

“I would moan your name over and over. The only name I’d known in the world. Your delicate hands, so fierce for me, would make me cum, probably on your belly. But no worries. I would bite your jawline, go down your neck, licked your beautiful breasts, cleaned my cum with my tongue, before diving into that pretty pussy with my lips,”

“God damn it, you’re going to make me cum in public,”

“I would get on my knees, place your thigh on my shoulder. I would kiss your core, already wet for me. I would get hard again, just because you taste so good. Your hand would grip my hair, and you would moan for me to never stop. Not in a million years I would do that. I would circle the tip of my tongue on your clit, and too soon you would cum all over my chin,”

“I love you, Magic” she whispers. Softly, tenderly. Pink roses, chocolate, and wine. And the world stops.

His eyes, closed for the past minute, shot wide open. Her breath spikes and his heartbeat is going a million miles per hour. What? 

Yoongi doesn’t know how to respond. Did she really mean what she just said? He’s never been in this situation before. This job was always fun for both parties, but it always felt transactional. There was no emotion to be felt except pleasure and lust. 

That’s the thing with having mostly middle aged clients. They have always made it clear that they loved the way they felt when they talked to Magic, never did they love him. Why would they? They were aware of the fact that they didn’t know the 22-year-old on the other side of the phone. They knew the character that molds and fits to every sexual fantasy.

But to someone his age, that may be different. The potential for an emotional connection that he hadn’t anticipated. Maybe that’s better. To be seen. To have someone on the other end of the line that would like to know him. His thoughts were in disarray, but he liked the feeling of being seen.

“I have to go,” Y/N says, and before she can embarrass herself even more, she hangs up, tightening her jacket and walking the other way as fast as she can.

For the past two days, Y/N used her distraction skills to her advantage. All assignments done, took all the extra credit she could take. The neighbor’s kids were happy and tired from playing. She earned extra tips from being such a good waitress, and a compliment from her boss for the good work she was putting in. 

Her room was clean beyond recognition, her vinyls in the correct sleeves, her cassettes organized in alphabetical order. Bright and early Saturday morning, after a celebratory breakfast with her parents, she cleaned the entire house.

“Why are you in such a hurry these days?” her mother asks, catching her at the bathroom door, before Y/N decides to clean something else that was already clean. “It’s your birthday, put your feet up for a minute.”

“Thank you, momma, but I want to keep busy, turn a new page.”

“Why are you turning a new leaf? You’re only 21,”

“I don’t know,” she shrugs “It just feels like a good time,”

Y/N manages to dodge her mother’s questions for the rest of the morning, locking herself in her room and beginning to color code her small closet.

She was not to think of the stupid mistake she made on Wednesday. The first time she said that to a human being that wasn’t part of her family. Granted she did say ‘I love you’ to her Prince poster, but it’s not like Prince could say it back to her. 

She didn’t call Prince and give him the opportunity to say ‘I love you’ back. And when he didn’t say it back, she wasn’t heartbroken. Prince was a poster, not a human being with a phone number. The old lady was right. Men do only exist to break your heart.

The tears started to slowly drip down her cheeks. She made such a fool of herself. Falling in love with a man she never met. A man that had nothing to say, that only opened his mouth when he was offering his services.

“Heeey,” Y/N heard the door open, as Sophie entered her room “are you ready to get drunk?” Sophie whispered, closing the door behind her.

Y/N nods, looking at her boring outfit in the mirror once again. Blue jeans, white t-shirt, blue denim jacket, and white shoes. “I don’t look like a 21 year-old.”

“Don’t worry, your driver’s license will say that for you,” Sophie says. “Now, time to spice up this outfit, because you’re not leaving the house looking like this.”

A good 30 minutes later, Y/N was leaving with a whole new look. Blue jeans, black turtleneck, with black boots and lots of necklaces and bracelets. Sophie swapped their jackets, giving her black leather and taking the denim. Good thing it fit nicely with her ruffle skirt.

“Much better,” Sophie says, twirling Y/N around to look at her entire outfit. “Let’s go, Lane and Mary are meeting us there.”

Paradise Garage. The dream birthday party spot of every person in the Tri State Area. The club was full, and the crowd cheered and sang along to Donna Summer. Y/N wasn’t really in the mood to dance and be joyful. But it was her birthday, and her friends spent an amazing amount of effort to put them on the list. So the birthday drinks start coming, the DJ plays her favorite disco songs, and before she knows it, Love to Love You Baby feels like a karaoke song. 

The night goes on and on, and Y/N wants to soak up all of the energy she can. She wants to enjoy her birthday party with her best friends, and she’ll get her money’s worth tonight. 

“I think you need to drink some more water before we leave,” Lane says, watching her shy friend dance clumsily. It’s almost three in the morning, and the party is starting to die down.

“Don’t worry, I’m not that drunk anymore,” Y/N says, but her friends drag her across the floor anyway, sitting her on a bar stool.

“We’re going to the bathroom, do you want to go?” Mary asks, and when Y/N shakes her head, she turns to the bartender. “She’ll have water. Can you make sure she doesn't wander off? We’ll be back in just a second.”

Y/N barely pays attention to what’s happening around her, she’s enjoying herself playing with her bracelets. A bottle of water is placed in front of her, along with some peanuts. She looked up, and she knew that even drunk, she would never forget the face of this beautiful man in front of her.  

“You should eat something, too,” he says, pointing at the peanuts. “Soak up the alcohol. That’s booze 101 for you,” he winks and Y/N giggles, but stops herself shortly after.

“I can’t giggle with you…” she manages to say, but her sentence drags at the end.

“And why’s that?” the bartender asks, amused.

“Because men only flirt to break your heart,” she explains, shoving peanuts in her mouth. “And you would only flirt with me because you like tips.”

“Oh, wow, who broke your heart, baby?” the man starts to clean up the mess in his counter, Y/N’s mess while she eats.

“My boyfriend, but he’s not really my boyfriend,” she tries to explain, “I don’t really know him, I only talk to him.”

“Communication is good to every relationship,”

“Yeah, well, I wouldn’t know. I only talk to him on the phone to have sex. Yeah, you heard me right,” she starts to rant, already munching on her second batch of peanuts. “I call this guy, to have sex. Through the phone, I mean. His name is Magic. And you want to know what else? I told him I loved him, like the stupid idiot that I am. And now I don’t know if I can call him again. He thinks I’m a weirdo.”

“I’m sure he doesn’t,”

“Yeah, whatever,” she scoffs, but she starts to think as the alcohol starts to wear off. “Do you think I should call him?” she asks the bartender, laying her arm on the counter and her head at the top.

“I think you should,” the bartender answers, “at the very least to break up with him, if you decide you don’t want to call him anymore,”

“What if I sound like an idiot? Can I blame you?” she asks and he laughs.

“Yes, you can come back here and kick my ass.”

Wednesday. April 24th, 1985. 3 PM. The date and hour she decided to get her heart broken again.

With the coins in the machine, she dials the known number. It only rings once before the familiar voice picks up.

“Hey,” Magic answers, his voice softer than she’d imagined it would sound like today. He didn’t even sound like he was expecting anyone else. 

“Hi,” she manages to say. But she doesn’t say anything else. She doesn’t know how to proceed from here.

“When I told you I wanted you to have a drink in my honor, I didn’t imagine I was going to be the one to mix it.”

“What?”

“By the way, that leather jacket looks great on you.”

“Excuse me, what?” she asks again. Is her mind playing tricks with her? Did she actually wake up this morning, or is she having the weirdest dream? The butterflies flew wild inside her body. It was like springtime was being born inside of her.

“I don’t think you’re a weirdo. I don’t think you sound like an idiot either. I want to get to know you. But if you’re feeling silly and want to blame your bartender, I know where he lives,” he chuckles, and she joins. Stupid happy tears flowing down her face.

“I want to get to know you, too,”

“Good. My name is Yoongi,” he prompts, and her smile gets wider.

“Hi, Yoongi. My name is Y/N.”

[cocobeanncteez]

ATEEZ San- Back to you (oneshot)

Genre: angst, fluff, suggestive, university au.

Pairing: badboy!San x reader (fem)

Word Count: 7.3K

Warnings: profanities, alcohol consumption, smoking, mentions of bullying and cheating, drink spiking, and attempted sexual assault.

Except Ateez, all other names are fictional.

"I don't understand how these stupid people party here when we've got exams in two weeks," your bestfriend, Doyeon, muttered under her breath while scribbling down some notes. You both were at a café in your university, studying for the upcoming exams.

You chuckled, glancing up at her from your notebook. "Your boyfriend is one of those stupid people who are partying right now."

She rolled her eyes. "Believe me, I want to smack Yunho with this," she held up her notebook, making you snort. "I'm surprised you don't get frustrated when San is literally doing the same thing."

"Well, it's his life," you said. "I'm not his parent who can nag at him to study."

San and you have been dating for a little over eight months now; other than Doyeon and San's friends, no one else knew about your relationship. Doyeon and Yunho were also dating for a while now. You both didn't really know why the boys didn't want other people to know about your relationship, but you both just went with the flow despite witnessing girls throwing themselves at them everyday. Doyeon was really calm about the whole situation, but you actually weren't even though you never let it show; you were quite worried about San leaving you for other women who were like him. You never understood why he's dating someone like you: the type who rarely parties, rarely drinks, never smokes, decently studies and gets good grades, never gets involved in fights; the opposite of him, basically.

Doyeon was about to say something, but your conversation was interrupted by someone who suddenly sat beside you in your booth, placing a textbook on the table. "Don't mind me, ladies," one of your university's badboys, Kangmin, said. "There was no place to sit, so here I am."

Ji Kangmin was handsome, and a typical badboy from what you've heard. You didn't really know much about him personally, but you knew his friend group and your boyfriend's group were rivals and often got into fights.

"I'm surprised you're here," Doyeon stated, raising an eyebrow. "Shouldn't you be at some party?"

"I don't party when exams are near," he said with a small smile. "I know I don't have a good reputation, but unlike other people here who have the same reputation as me, I actually want to score well and decently graduate." You were stunned, not expecting to hear that from someone like him. Well, maybe all badboys aren't the same.

-

"Babe!" San whined sleepily when you pulled his blanket off his body. "God, my head fucking hurts."

"Serves you right for drinking all night," you said, running a hand through his messy black hair.

"But the party was epic," he mumbled, eyes closing at the way you played with his hair.

After a few minutes, San took some painkillers and got up to take a shower. When he finished, he immediately pulled you into a hug. "I missed you," he said, burying his face in the crook of your neck.

You chuckled. "You saw me yesterday morning."

"But that was in class," he murmured, placing soft kisses on your neck, making your heart race. "I didn't get to talk to you."

"Then maybe you should start talking to me in class," you said and immediately regretted it when you felt San tense up.

San moved a step back to look at you. "Babe, you know I can't do that," he stated. "I don't want people to know about us or start—"

"Yeah, I know," you cut him off with a small smile, hiding your disappointment. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

"It's fine," he said, kissing your forehead. "Let's go have breakfast, yeah?"

"Um, actually, I have to go back to my dorm," you said, making San frown and ask why. "I've got a study session with Doyeon," you lied; you just didn't feel like being here at the moment.

San sighed, cupping your cheeks. "Babe, you study so much. These exams don't matter much."

Your eyebrows furrowed. "San, these are end of the first semester exams. They're extremely important."

San didn't say anything; he only leaned down to capture your lips with his own. "Stay for a little while, please," he murmured against your lips. Before you could protest, he kissed you again, this time more passionately. He gently pushed you onto his bed, hovering above you before reconnecting your lips. Your hands wrapped around his neck, playing with the hair at his nape. One of San's hands slipped under your blouse, moving to cup your breast, giving it a squeeze. You gasped due to his actions and he took the opportunity to slide his tongue into your mouth, deepening the kiss. Your phone began ringing but both of you ignored it. You were getting wetter by the second and you could feel San's growing bulge pressing against you. When your phone rang for the fourth time, San pulled away with an annoyed sigh. You chuckled, getting up from his bed to get your phone from your bag.

"Hello?" you answered.

"Where are you?! Class is gonna start in ten minutes!" Doyeon exclaimed.

"What? What class? All our classes were canceled for today."

"Mr. Byun said he's gonna take class today. Didn't you check your email?"

"Fuck. I'll be there in five." You hung up and quickly checked your reflection in San's mirror, reapplying your lip balm and tying your hair into a ponytail. San's eyes were on you the entire time.

"Are you ditching your lovely boyfriend for a class?" San asked with a pout. "Especially when you made him get all hard?"

"Yes," you replied with a small giggle. "I'll make it up to you when I'm done, I promise." you placed a quick kiss on his lips before rushing to your dorm to collect your stuff.

-

"Can I sit here?" you heard someone ask, making you look up from your notebook. Ji Kangmin was giving you a small smirk. "Seats are full."

"Go ahead," you said, returning your attention back onto your books. Fortunately, Kangmin studied quietly, not disturbing you even once.

"Why is this so hard?" you muttered under your breath, eyebrows furrowing in irritation due to the differentiation problem you've been breaking your head for.

"Need help?" Kangmin asked.

"Are you good at calculus?"

He snorted, showing you the cover of his textbook. "I'm a math major, darling." Your eyes widened, not expecting that at all. "I thought you knew but you clearly don't," he said with a chuckle. "But I know you're a computer science major." He reached for your notebook, scanning through what you've written. "Ah, so this is where you went wrong," he murmured before explaining everything to you.

After a good three hours of studying, you got up and stretched your arms. Kangmin helped you with a few sums and told you many tricks and tips to save time and make the problems easier to solve. He walked with you to your dorm building since his was right opposite yours. You caught a few people staring at the two of you, but you brushed it off; Kangmin was popular, so obviously they would stare. You had to admit, it felt quite weird to see people staring at you. You were sure they all would react the same way if you were with San.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Kangmin grinned, running his hand through his brown hair. You nodded with a smile before entering your dorm building.

-

You spent the entire week studying with Kangmin and sometimes Doyeon joined the two of you. You were really anxious about the exams, but Kangmin managed to make you calm down a little; you were really grateful for his company.

"So Jihoon asked me out and I said yes!" Hyewon said, making you and Doyeon squeal.

"Girl! I told you this day would come!" Doyeon exclaimed, making Hyewon blush. You and Doyeon teased her for blushing, laughing at how her cheeks got even pinker.

San secretly glanced at you from across the classroom, smiling at the sight of you laughing; he thought you were absolutely beautiful.

"What's he doing here?" Jongho muttered, making San and Mingi follow his line of sight.

"Probably here to find someone to fuck," Mingi said in an unbothered tone.

San focused his attention back on you until that very person tapped your shoulder. "Why the fuck is he talking to my girl?!"

You turned to look at the person who tapped your shoulder. "Oh, hey, Kangmin! What are you doing here?" you asked.

He pulled a notebook from his bag, handing it over to you. "I accidentally took your notebook yesterday, so I came to return it," he said. "Sorry about that."

"Oh no, it's okay, don't worry about it," you smiled. He was about to say something, but your professor arrived, so he had to leave and go to his own class.

After the lecture ended, you had lunch with Doyeon, Hyewon, and Jihoon at your dorm's dining hall. You couldn't help but gush about how great Hyewon and Jihoon's chemistry was; they were the cutest couple you have ever seen.

Your phone rang and you picked it up as it was San. "Hello?"

"Where are you?" San asked, sounding a little annoyed.

"At my dorm's dining hall," you replied. "Why?"

"Come to your room right now," he said and hung up before you could say anything. You quickly had the last few bites of your food before excusing yourself, telling your friends you had some work to do.

You made your way over to your room, spotting San right outside your door, wearing a blue hoodie with the hood up and a black mask. You unlocked your door with your key-card, feeling a little anxious due the serious look in your boyfriend's eyes. He closed the door before moving to sit on your bed.

"Sannie, what's wrong?" you asked, moving to stand in front of him. He stared up at you, staying silent for a while before he took off his mask, tossing it on your desk.

"Why did Ji Kangmin talk to you today?"

"He accidentally took my notebook yesterday so he came to return it," you answered honestly.

San raised an eyebrow. "Yesterday? Why were you with him yesterday?" he asked in a stern tone.

"We were studying. He was helping me with calculus."

San scoffed, getting off your bed. "I'm sure that's not what his true intentions are. Stay away from him." San's words annoyed you.

"And how do you know what his true intentions are?" you asked. "We were literally just studying, that's all."

"I don't fucking like him, Y/N. He isn't a good person and I don't want him anywhere near you. So please just stay away from him."

You sighed, glancing at the tiny cat tattoo on San's finger. "Fine..."

San gently cupped your cheek, making you look at him. He didn't like how disappointed you looked and he couldn't help but think about Kangmin stealing you away from him. "Baby... please trust me, he's just trying to get into your pants." You wanted to tell him that all those girls who flirt with him wanted the same, but you knew he already knew that and he liked the attention he got.

"Okay..." You moved away from him, picking up your textbook from your desk and placing it on your bed. "Do you wanna study with me?" you asked San.

"Nah, I'm not in the mood to study."

"You never are," you snorted, earning a wink from him.

"You study, I'll just take a nap here beside you," he said, placing a kiss on your forehead, lying down on your bed.

"Don't try anything, San," you warned him, lying down beside him. He chuckled, placing an arm around your waist, pulling you closer to his body.

San fell asleep while you studied. When you took a small break, you couldn't help but admire your sleeping boyfriend; he looked so angelic... ethereal, even. You placed a light kiss on his cheek before slowly getting off the bed to go to the bathroom.

When you came back, San was awake. "How long did I sleep?" he asked in a raspy voice.

"Almost two hours," you said, returning to your bed.

"Oh... oh crap! I should get ready. I've got a party to go to tonight," he said, stretching his arms. "Do you wanna come?"

You raised an eyebrow. "You already know my answer to that."

He chuckled, kissing your head. "Have fun studying, babe."

---

"Finally!" Doyeon yelled in happiness. "We're finally done after two weeks of torture!"

"Thank god we have an entire week off," you said, gently massaging your aching wrist.

"These exams were way harder than I expected," Hyewon said and you agreed. "You both are coming for Kang Hyunsuk's party tonight, right?"

"Of course! It's in a huge mansion, you know? Besides, I need to get drunk and laid in luxury," Doyeon said, making you and Hyewon laugh.

You quickly got ready at Doyeon's dorm in the evening before taking a cab to Kang Hyunsuk's mansion that was fortunately not too far away.

The mansion was decorated with LED lights inside and out. The large hall was converted into a dance floor and he even hired a DJ. You were sure more than half of the students at your college was here, and there were certainly a lot of people from the neighboring colleges as well.

Doyeon grabbed your hand, pulling you to the large kitchen where the drinks and snacks were. You both took two shots of vodka each before you greeted some of your classmates. Doyeon was already really tipsy due to her poor alcohol tolerance. On the other hand, you took another shot and you were still quite sober.

"Wow, Y/N, you look so hot!" Hyewon said, approaching you with Jihoon.

You were wearing a lacy dusty-rose bralette with black ripped jeans and combat boots. The bralette showed off more cleavage than you'd usually show, but you were feeling a little extra today.

You noticed Yunho approaching the kitchen with Seonghwa and Hongjoong, his eyes scanning Doyeon from head to toe. You nudged Doyeon with your elbow, gesturing to Yunho with your eyes. She glanced around, eyes landing on Yunho who gave her a smirk. She smiled at him before moving towards him. She whispered something in his ears, making him drag her away immediately. You weren't expecting your bestfriend to ditch you this early, but oh well.

"Hey Y/N," Seonghwa greeted you. "Have you seen San or Jongho?"

"Nope, I came to the kitchen as soon as I got here," you replied, pouring yourself another shot.

"Ah, all right." Seonghwa and Hongjoong took a drink before they disappeared into the crowd.

One of your friends dragged you outside to the area beside the swimming pool; she wanted to introduce you to some people from another university. You spotted San, Jongho, Wooyoung, Mingi, and Yeosang on the other of the pool, surrounded by girls as usual. There were a few guys there and they were all playing a game of spin the bottle. There was a girl sitting on your boyfriend's lap, and that annoyed you a lot. You couldn't do anything about it since San didn't want anyone to know about your relationship. When you got to see the girl's face, your eyes widened; it was your ex-bestfriend, Park Hyejoo. You scoffed in disbelief; San knew who she was and what she did to you in high school, yet he let her sit on his lap. You tried not to pay attention to them by focusing on the conversation your friend was having with the people she had introduced you to. It somewhat worked... until you heard cheers and whistles which caught everyone's attention.

Hyejoo's face was buried in San's neck, no doubt giving him a hickey. He wasn't even pushing her away. You felt your eyes tear up, but you blinked it away. You couldn't look away until she pulled away. And then she kissed him, causing you to gasp.

"Why are you so surprised?" your drunk friend asked you. "She fucks around as much as Choi San does. I even heard they're fuck buddies."

San pulled away from Hyejoo, but he only smirked at her, making no effort to push her off his lap. Yeosang—who was sitting beside San—noticed you watching, and he immediately elbowed San. "You fucked up big time, bro," Yeosang murmured in his ear.

"What do you mean?" San asked.

"Y/N's over there. She saw everything."

San glanced around until his eyes found your disappointed and sad ones. He wasn't even expecting you to attend the party. He scanned you from head to toe, eyes darkening due to the way you looked in that outfit.

"You dumb fuck," Yeosang muttered, low enough for only San to hear. "Are you seriously eye-fucking her right now? Put your damn reputation aside and go talk to her before you fuck shit up more, idiot!"

San excused himself, pushing your ex-bestfriend off his lap, making his way over to you. But of course, he couldn't be seen with you, so he just gestured with his head for you to follow him. Even though you were so upset, you followed him a few seconds later. He stopped at the garden where there was no one; you could still hear the blasting music from here.

San was dressed in all black and he looked absolutely irresistible. You would've asked him to fuck you right here against the wall, but you were damn pissed at the moment.

"Damn, babe," he said, lips pulling into a smirk. "My girl's looking so hot." He reached out to pull you into his arms, but you took a step back. San frowned. "Babe..."

"You knew what Hyejoo did to me," you said with a bitter chuckle. "And you let her sit on your lap." You pointed at the hickey on his neck. "You let her do that to you despite the fact that you have a girlfriend, who is in fact, standing right in front of you!" You would never lash out like this if it wasn't for the alcohol in your system. Hyejoo bullied you a lot in high school to the point where you had to change schools. San knew every little detail of what Hyejoo did, and you remembered how angry he was when you told him about it.

"Babe, calm down, please," San said softly.

"Calm down? You want me to calm down?! That fucking bitch was sitting on your fucking lap the entire time and she gave you a damn hickey! You didn't even stop her!"

"It was just a dare and—"

You scoffed. "And what about the kiss?"

"She kissed me. I didn't kiss back, I swear!"

"And you made no effort to push her off your damn lap even after that, right?"

San sighed; he really didn't want to fight with you right now. "I think you're overreacting, Y/N. Like I said, it was only a dare."

"Yeah, how about I go sit on another man's lap and suck his neck, hmm? I fucking bet you would love that," you chuckled bitterly. San clenched his jaw at your words; if that were to ever happen, he wouldn't hesitate to punch that guy.

"That's not going to happen," he placed his hands on your bare waist, pulling you against his body. "Let's not fight, okay?" he murmured, kissing your head.

You moved away from him, eyeing the hickey on his neck with disgust. "Fuck off, San," you mumbled. "I need a damn drink." Before San could could say anything, you made your way to the table of drinks beside the pool. You quickly downed three shots, eyes closing at the way the liquid burned your throat.

"Woah, woah, slow down there. You'll choke," you heard someone say from behind you.

"Who gives a fuck?" you muttered.

"Well, I certainly do, darling," Kangmin said, moving to stand in front of you. "You look really nice, even though you look like you could murder someone right now."

You glanced at San who returned back to where he was sitting before. Hyejoo started clinging to him, and he made no effort to do anything about it again. You rolled your eyes, not even surprised that your words went into San's ears and left just as fast. "Believe me, I want to," you said, feeling the alcohol starting to hit you harder.

"I don't know who pissed you off, but loosen up, yeah?" Kangmin said, pouring himself a drink. You noticed the tattoos all over his arms, one of them catching your eye. You grabbed his arm, trying to get a better look. "It's a... squirting dick?" you tried to control yourself from laughing.

"My friend's a tattoo artist and he tattooed it on me without telling me," he said with a chuckle.

"I want one too," you whined. "I want one now."

"What? A squirting dick?"

You lightly punched his bicep, swaying a little due to the effect of the alcohol in your system. "No, a good tattoo!"

"You're drunk right now, darling," he chuckled. "It's never a good idea to get a tattoo when you're drunk, trust me."

You pouted. "But I want a tattoo."

He placed his cup on the table and moved his hands to cup your cheeks. "I promise I'll take you to get a tattoo this week, okay? Now, let's go dance, hmm?" You nodded, letting him drag you inside to the dance floor.

San saw everything and his hands clenched into fists. He was so tempted to punch Kangmin and yell at him to stay away from you, but he couldn't risk his reputation like that; he didn't want anyone to know about your relationship no matter what. San went to where you were standing before, taking a tequila shot while he wondered what to do.

"Ji Kangmin and Y/N? Damn!" San overheard someone say.

"I didn't expect him to make a move on her," the other person said. "She's a goody two shoes and he's far from that."

"Kangmin likes women like that actually," the first person said. "And Y/N is very pretty. I'm not very surprised that he went for her."

"Hmm. They do look great together. He seems to like her a lot, no? I saw him walk her to her dorm last week." San's jaw clenched and he quickly made his way inside, searching for you. The dance floor was so crowded, he couldn't even get a glimpse of you anywhere. He tried calling you, but you didn't pick up. He tried calling Doyeon, but she didn't pick up as well.

"Fucking hell," he muttered under his breath, moving through tons of drunk, sweaty people, trying to find you.

After nearly fifteen minutes, he found you sitting alone on of the sofas, head resting on the armrest. "Y/N!"

"Kangmin...?" you lifted your head. "Oh, it's you."

"We're leaving," San said, grabbing your hand.

"No, f-fuck you," you hiccupped. "Go fuck off to Hyejoo." San ignored your words, taking his phone out to book a cab to his apartment. He helped you stand up and pulled you along with him. You wanted to protest, but your body was aching and you really just wanted to sleep.

You fell asleep on San's shoulder in the cab. He carried you bridal style and unlocked his door with the passcode, moving to his bedroom. He gently placed you on the bed and removed your boots. You opened your eyes due to the movement, feeling quite sick. "San..." you murmured. "I think I'm gonna throw up." San quickly lifted you up and took you to the bathroom, holding your hair back while you threw up in his toilet. He gently rubbed your back until you were done.

You brushed your teeth with the toothbrush you kept at San's place, and you took a quick hot shower, sobering a little. San gave you one of his t-shirts to wear and he dried your hair for you.

As soon as your head landed on the pillow, you fell asleep.

-

When you woke up, your head was pounding terribly. You slowly opened your eyes, immediately recognizing that you were in San's apartment; you couldn't remember much of what happened last night. You moved to his bathroom to take a painkiller and finish your morning routine. After you took a shower, you wore one of his black hoodies with one of your shorts that you usually kept at his place.

You felt a pair of muscly arms wrap around you. "You look so good in my clothes," San murmured, placing a kiss on your head. You turned around in his arms, titling your head back to look at him. You were about to wrap your arms around his neck, but your eyes landed on the hickey on his neck, reminding you of the events that happened last night, making you immediately pull yourself away from his embrace.

San frowned. "Babe—"

"San," you start. "Is your reputation that important that you can't even push another girl away when she's throwing herself at you? Especially when you know just how terrible that girl is?" you asked.

San took your hands in his. "Y/N, I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have let—"

"But you still did," you argued. "Why don't you want to tell people about us, San? Is it because I'm not like you or your friends? Do you think I'm not attractive enough to be next to you?" He didn't say anything. "I feel like you're just using me," you continued, remembering the amount of times you've heard people say San only screws around. "Do you even love me?" The last question made San freeze. You had fallen in love with San months ago, but he didn't know and probably wouldn't have even noticed.

You waited for him to say something, but he only kept quiet, eyes fixated to the floor. "San, I think we should just," you gulped, eyes tearing up again. "We should b-break up. I really can't tolerate this anymore..." Your words felt like knifes were constantly slicing his heart. "Don't you have anything to say?" you asked, hoping he would fight for you or convince you that continuing this relationship is worth it. You wished he would change.

"How can I when you've already made up your mind?" San murmured, avoiding your eyes. "If you think breaking up is what's best then okay..." he wanted to say much more. He wanted to beg you to not leave him. He wanted to tell you just how much he loved you. But he couldn't. Even if he tried, he just couldn't.

"I'll collect my stuff from here tomorrow," you mumbled, putting your boots on. San could only nod as he watched you.

Before you could leave, San stopped you. "I... I just wanted to ask you... if you ever," he took a deep breath. "If you ever loved me."

You smiled sadly. "It doesn't matter," you whispered, but it was loud enough for him to hear you. "Take care, San," you mumbled before walking out the door, shattering his heart.

-

"You fucked up even more," Yeosang said, watching San smoke a cigarette.

"That's very helpful. Makes me feel great," San stated sarcastically, blowing the smoke to the air.

"No offense, Sannie, but I agree with Yeosang," Hongjoong said. "You should've told her how you felt instead of keeping quiet."

"I know," San sighed. "But she already made up her mind."

"Dude, you're really dense," Wooyoung stated. "She asked you if you had something to say. That translates to 'fight for me.' I don't think you've noticed, but Y/N is definitely in love with you."

San's head shot up. "She wouldn't have broken up with me if she really loved me, Woo."

Seonghwa groaned in frustration. "If I was in Y/N's place, I would dump your stupid ass too."

"Agreed," Yeosang said. "I told you before, San, your reputation is going to fuck up everything. You need to let go of your past as well before it's too late."

"Ji Kangmin's got his eyes on her," Mingi stated. "I heard his friends talking about it."

"Yeah, I heard that too. Y/N is close to him," Jongho added.

San rolled his eyes, taking a drag from the cigarette. "He has nothing else to do other than stealing the girls I like."

"Exactly, and you're letting him do it again," Yunho said, taking the cigarette away from San and crushing it with his shoes. "You have to make a decision Sannie. Either you sort things out with Y/N, or you lose the woman you love to that very bastard again."

---

"So you had the hots for Y/N, huh?" Kangmin asked San while he waited in line to order his drink.

"That's none of your business," San said in a cold tone to his ex-bestfriend.

"I saw you talking to her privately that day," he said, referring to the party you attended almost two weeks ago. San ignored his words. "I don't know what was going on between the two of you," Kangmin continued. "But whatever it was, I'm glad it didn't last long. I want to make her mine."

San scoffed. "You just want to get into her pants."

Kangmin snorted. "Obviously. But after spending two weeks with her, without you around, I'm quite interested. Y/N is gorgeous and has a great personality. She's a rare gem, you know? I bet she'd be just as wonderful in bed and tastes as sweet as she loo—"

San took a step towards Kangmin, grabbing the collar of his shirt. "If you don't shut the fuck up, I'll break your damn face!" San warned.

"Ohhh, I'm so scared," he teased, pushing San away. "Fuck off, Choi San. Someone like Y/N doesn't deserve a bastard like you. You weren't and will never be good enough for her." San chose to ignore him, not wanting to cause a big scene at the café. Kangmin's words stabbed him in the heart. San always thought he wasn't good enough for you, but he never expected to hear anyone say it out loud.

Kangmin's phone started ringing and he couldn't help the smirk that formed on his face. "Hey, gorgeous," he answered, loud and clear. "I'm at the café near your building, getting you your favorite drink and some cupcakes. I'll pick you up from class."

"That won't be necessary," you replied, pushing the door of the café to enter. You instantly spotted Kangmin and made your way towards him, unaware of San who was standing right behind him. "Hi!" you said to Kangmin who hung up once he saw you.

"Hey, beautiful! How was class?" he asked, secretly glancing at San; you still hadn't noticed San as your back was facing him.

"Ugh, tiring. I hate extra classes. I couldn't understand any—" your phone started ringing, interrupting your sentence. You answered the call as it was from your bestfriend.

"Where are you?" Doyeon asked.

"At the café near our dorm," you replied.

"Come over fast, we have to get ready for Hyewon's party. She wants us to come early cause she needs help."

"I'll be there in a bit."

-

"I didn't expect any of them to be here," you said to Doyeon while drinking some whiskey and coke from a red cup, watching your ex-boyfriend converse with his infamous group of friends; they usually went clubbing on Saturday nights. "Aren't you gonna go over to Yunho?"

"I don't wanna ditch you," she answered. You gently pushed her in Yunho's direction.

"Go, I'll be fine."

Before she could reply, Kangmin wrapped his arms around you, startling you a little. Doyeon gave you a wink before making her way towards her boyfriend, leaving you with Kangmin.

"Can we talk?" he whispered in your ear, making sure to move closer to your body once he noticed San watching. You nodded, letting him pull you upstairs. You had gotten quite close to Kangmin these last two weeks; you were really glad to have a friend like him. He distracted you from the pain you felt from not being with San anymore.

Kangmin gently pushed against the wall, trapping you between his arms. You gasped. "What are you doing?"

"I like you, Y/N," he confessed with a smile. "I wanna date you." Before you could say anything, he kissed you. You were a little too shocked, so you let him kiss you for a few seconds. When you regained your senses, you pushed him away. He stared at you, confused by your actions.

"Kangmin, I'm sorry, but I don't feel the same way..."

Kangmin rolled his eyes. "It's cause of Choi San, isn't it?"

"No," you lied. Of course it's cause of San. You were still in love with him. You didn't want to date anyone until you got over him. "I only see us as friends, Kangmin," you stated honestly. "You're a really good friend and I don't want to lose you."

Kangmin sighed. "Okay, let's just forget about this. Let's have a drink, hmm?" You nodded, following him downstairs to the kitchen.

You were talking to one of your friends while Kangmin got a drink for you.

"Thanks," you said, taking the cup from him. You took a sip of your drink. It tasted a little salty, but you didn't mind. You felt yourself relaxing a little while you nodded your head to the music. By the time you finished your drink, you felt pretty lightheaded. You clinged to Kangmin's arm. "Hey, could you take me to the couch?" you requested, words slurred. "I don't feel very good..."

"Of course," Kangmin lifted you into his arms, bridal style. He carried you upstairs into one of the rooms, shutting the door behind him with his foot. He placed you on the bed. "You don't know how long I've waited for this," he said, licking his lips while he took your crop-top off. You didn't know what was happening and your vision was really blurry. Kangmin pushed you onto your back before hovering above you. The sudden movement made your head spin even more, causing you to pass out. "Oh, too bad she couldn't stay conscious for this..." he murmured to himself. He ran his hands up from your jean-clad legs to the soft skin of your abdomen before reaching behind your body to unclasp your bra. Before he could pull the piece of clothing away from your body, the door swung open.

"You fucking bastard!" San yelled, pushing Kangmin off of you. Jongho and Hongjoong were right behind San.

"What the fuck, dude?!" Kangmin yelled. "Get out! Can't you see we're busy?!" His words pissed Jongho off. He immediately grabbed Kangmin by the collar and punched him twice in the nose. Kangmin fell to the floor, holding his broken, bloody nose in pain. Jongho wanted to punch him one more time, but Hongjoong held him back. "Don't. You'll end up killing him."

San started crying when he saw your passed out form; he couldn't even think about what would've happened if his friends didn't overhear Kangmin's friends talking about him spiking your drink. San clasped your bra back and put your crop-top on you before he lifted you into his arms. "I'm taking her to my apartment," he said to his friends.

"I'll drive you," Hongjoong offered.

-

When you woke up, you immediately recognized your surroundings. You had absolutely no idea of how you ended up in your ex-boyfriend's bedroom.

Your head was pounding and you wondered what time it was as it was really sunny outside. Before you could get off San's bed, he entered the room.

"You're awake," he said softly, relief clear in his eyes. "Take a shower and come eat. You must be really hungry."

"What happened? What's the time right now?" you questioned, your heart racing at the mere sight of him in a lilac hoodie and black sweatpants.

"I'll tell you after you eat," he said with a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "It's three in the afternoon. Doyeon got some clothes for you. There's a spare toothbrush in the bathroom."

"Thanks," you mumbled, getting up to go to the bathroom.

After you took a shower, you made your way to San's kitchen. You took a seat at the dining table, looking at all the different dishes on the table.

"You made all this?"

San shook his head. "I wasn't able to cook today. Wooyoung and Seonghwa made it. They left a few minutes ago." You noticed how tensed and sad he was; you wanted to ask him what was bothering him, but you knew he wouldn't answer your question until you ate.

You both ate in a comfortable silence. You tried to recall the events from last night, but you weren't able to. You frowned, wondering if you really drank that much.

"Are you all right, San?" you asked, settling on his couch after you both finished eating.

He took a deep breath and you noticed the slight dark circles beneath his eyes. "Can I hug y-you?" he asked, voice cracking while his eyes teared up.

You immediately scooted closer to him on the couch, wrapping your arms around him. He buried his face in the crook of your neck while he held you tightly. His body shook convulsively while he cried, his tears wetting your neck. You ran a hand through his soft hair, knowing it would help calm him down a little.

San pulled away from you, wiping his tears with the sleeve of his lilac hoodie. "I'm sorry..."

You grabbed his hand, intertwining it with yours. "What happened, Sannie?"

Hearing you call him by his nickname brought another set of fresh tears to his eyes. Your other hand reached up to wipe his tears away.

"I love you, Y/N," he confessed, more tears rolling down his cheeks. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you that before. I'm so sorry for being a jerk to you and prioritizing my reputation. I fucked up and I regret it so much." You took a deep breath, trying to control your rapid heartbeat while you listened to every word he said. "I felt like dying after what happened last night. I'm so sorry, this is all my fault," he sobbed.

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "What happened last night?"

"O-Oh you don't remember...?" You shook your head. San cleared his throat, trying his best to not to break down again. "Wooyoung and Hongjoong overhead Ji Kangmin's friends say that he spiked your drink after you rejected him." you froze in shock. "They immediately told us about it, and me, Hongjoong, and Jongho rushed over to you. You weren't conscious when we found you. Your top was off and he was about to take your bra off as well, but I pushed him away. Then Jongho punched him. I brought you here after that."

You stared at San in disbelief. "Kangmin s-spiked my drink...?"

San nodded. "He had it all planned. I'm sorry, Y/N... none of this would've happened if he didn't see us together." You were too shocked to say anything; you couldn't believe Kangmin would go this low just cause you rejected him. "Ji Kangmin was my bestfriend in high school. After I got a girlfriend, he acted like a bitch to me cause he wanted her. I really loved her, and she cheated on me with him. He spread a lot of false shit about me after I ended our friendship. When I tried to move on with another girl, he took her away from me too. I didn't want other people to know about us only because he would find out. I didn't want him anywhere near you because I knew he would try to take you away from me. I didn't push Hyejoo away that day because he was watching me and would get suspicious of my actions if I pushed her away. I tried my best to do everything that would keep him away from you, but I still failed..."

You burst into tears, wrapping your arms around San; you had no idea he went through all this. "I'm sorry, San. I should've listened to you when you told me he wasn't a good person," you managed to say through sobs.

"No, Y/N, I'm the one who should say sorry for not telling you all of this before." He held you, gently rocking you back and forth while he cried with you. "Thank you for rejecting him..."

You pulled away, cupping his cheek. "How could I ever date someone else when I'm love with you, San?"

His heart raced in his chest due to your words. "That's why you rejected him?"

You nodded. "And I'm glad I did."

San smiled, leaning his forehead against yours. "Can I..." he hesitated "Can I kiss you?"

"Yes, please."

San immediately captured your lips with his own, kissing you oh so gently. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. He smiled, causing you to smile as well while you kissed him; you both missed this so much. The kiss was slow and soft, the two of you just wanting to savor this moment. Your hands played with his hair while his hands lazily ran down the expanse of your back. San pulled away, holding you tight against his chest.

"I know I hurt you a lot and I don't even deserve to speak to you right now... but I want to start over, Y/N," San said honestly. "I want to treat you the way you deserve... show you off to the world... I want to make things right between us. These two weeks were pure torture without you, and I realized that I can't... I can't live without you, Y/N. I really need you, baby."

You rested your head on his chest and you could hear his fast heartbeat. "I need some time, Sannie." you noticed him tense up a little and you knew exactly what he was thinking. "And no, this isn't me indirectly rejecting you or anything. I want to be with you, San. I always have and that isn't gonna change. I just need a little time, considering everything that happened." San nodded in understanding. "I promise that I will come back to you."

"I love you and I'll wait for you," San said, placing a kiss on your head.

"Thank you... I love you too, Sannie." He giggled, loving the way you say those three heart-fluttering words. He cupped your cheek to pull you into another sweet kiss, making your heart race again.

The two of you knew that no matter what, you both would always find your way back to each other.

[starshapedkookie]

Falling

↳soulmate (noun): a person who is bound to another through the strongest  level of emotional and physical connection. one is given a name on the body upon 18 years of age and any transgressions against the laws of soul-bonding will not occur without harm. 

REPOSTED/REWRITTEN FROM OLD BLOG

pairing: jungkook x female reader 

word count: 31.4k (sorry guys, another monster lol)

genre: soulmate/destiny au, college au, photographer jungkook, angst, fluff, smut

warnings: smut (protected sex, vanilla, light choking), swearing, angst!!!, fluff (jungkook is head over heels), drinking, mentions of anti-depressants and therapy

recommended songs: falling by harry styles, love again by dua lipa, hold on by chord overstreet, dusk till dawn by zayn & sia, when we were young by lost kings

FALL

The last thing you needed this morning was for your coffee to get knocked out of your hand and crash onto the pavement—but of course, that is exactly what happened.

“Ugh,” you groan loudly, bending down to pick up the plastic cup. You did not have time for this. It wasn’t even your first day of classes yet here you were, making a fool of yourself in front of everyone. You quickly dispose of the plastic in a recyclable can before hurrying off to find your class. You were already going to be late—but you knew you didn’t want to be that kid on the first day coming in hungover and 20 minutes late. So far though, that was going to be exactly you.

You rush into the building of your class before rushing up the stairs to the main auditorium. You glance down at your watch and you roll eyes. 7 minutes late—that’s doable right? You enter the large room and you curse to yourself when it’s quiet and the only words are coming from your professors mouth.

“Class I believe we’ve found our first day straggler,” the professor’s voice erupts in the room through his microphone and you freeze in your spot. Everyone’s eyes are on you and you actually want to crawl into a hole and bury yourself alive. Laughter fills the room and the professor goes back to the syllabus as you find a seat towards the back of the classroom. You sit down by yourself and lean back in the seat. Not only was your head absolutely busting from last night, you also had never felt more embarrassment in your entire life. You pull out your laptop and pull up the uploaded syllabus and try to hide yourself within your t-shirt.

“As humans, we think attraction is spontaneous and comes from here,” your professor pauses and points to his chest where his heart would be, “When in fact, that’s not true. Our brains run complex calculations that decide whom we think is attractive. This is what this course is about. The psychology behind gender, sex, and even the ideals of soulmates are all very much correlated in this course,” your ears drown out his talking once the ’S’ word is mentioned—no, not sex, but soulmate.

Soulmates—self explanatory but usually not discussed out in the open like this. Some people believed in them, others didn’t. Growing up, you had always heard about soulmates and their stories—your parents managing to bring it up at least once a week. It’s said that one will receive a name by 18. At 13, you and your older sister decided that it was all bogus as you had many crushes on boys growing up. You could like someone but that didn’t mean you were soulmates though. Your sister quickly flipped her stance about soulmates when she was 17, you 15, and suddenly a mark showed up on the inside of her finger. Not just any mark—but a name. With the name engraved in her skin like a tattoo and only a few months after that, she had met her match.

You on the other hand remained nameless for the rest of high school. You waited and waited for a name to show up by the age of 18—but it never did. You felt alone and like a glitch. At 19, you decided you weren’t going to sit around and wait for a soulmate. Besides, you were young—since when did you have to find your life partner so soon?

Now at 21, nearing 22, you were still nameless. Did it bother you? You were indifferent. You felt lucky to be able to experience college without being tied down to something serious but now as graduation was coming faster than ever and it seemed like everyone around you was finding their other half—worry did sink into your skin sometimes.

“You,” someone snaps you from your reverie and you think the professor has called you again until you see a two guys sitting two rows back from you, one of them pointing at you.

You point at yourself wondering if he’s got the right girl. As you look around the class, everyone is shuffling around to what seems to be small groups. Had you zoned out that bad? You look back at the two guys and gather your belongings before heading their way.

“Uh, hi?” You say awkwardly as you shuffle towards them.

“Told you she’d come,” one guys nudges the other one with a smirk, “Wanna be in our group?”

“Group?” You look back to the front of the classroom and see a slide displayed “FINAL PROJECT” shining bright. “Yeah, sure whatever,” you sit down beside of the chatty male before he finally introduces himself.

“I’m Namjoon,” he smiles.

“Y/N,” you reply looking at the other guy who has stayed silent this whole interaction.

“This is Jungkook,” Namjoon says and Jungkook looks at you offering a weak smile.

“Hey,” he says simply. Jungkook has pretty eyes, round and doe-like, innocent yet inviting. You catch yourself noticing the ink lining his forearms and knuckles.

You take a seat beside of Namjoon and focus your attention back to the board. Your professor explains each group has a variety of topics to choose from and present to him later at the end of the semester. As much as you weren’t in the mood for much talking, you were thankful this Namjoon and Jungkook guy asked you to be in their group because you’re not sure you would have had the courage to ask anyone else.

Lecture ends with an online syllabus quiz due at the end of the week and you quickly gather your things to leave.

“Um,” you start before you get ready to leave, “here's my number. Just text whenever you want to get started,” you slip the piece of paper to Namjoon. Your eyes meet Jungkook’s again and something stirs deep within your stomach. Namjoon’s voice breaks your gaze.

“Alright, sounds good. Nice to me you.”

“You guys too.” And then you’re off to your next class, hoping you won’t cause as much attention in that one.

.

“Jesus Christ,” you exhale deeply, lying down on Taehyung’s bed. He eyes you from his desk.

“Rough first day?” He inquires, swirling back and forth in his chair.

“You have no idea Tae,” you groan rolling over to look at him. “I should have known this day would be shit the second I slept through my alarm.”

He gives you a small smile, “At least it’s over now. You got much homework?”

You shake your head, “No thank god.”

“Do you want to grab dinner with Jimin and I then?”

Your stomach growls loudly at the idea of food. You don’t even say anything and you don’t need to. Taehyung gives you a laugh before slipping on his ridiculously ugly fur-lined Gucci mules. You stand up from his bed, straightening out your giant t-shirt and running shorts. Yours and Taehyung’s fashion clashed tremendously, but that’s what made you guys—well you.

You and Taehyung meet Jimin at a Thai place downtown. It’s cheap and delicious and a bowl of pad-thai to sooth your brain after today sounded heavenly. Jimin is standing outside, wearing a put together yet sporty outfit. He smiles when he sees the two of you approaching.

“Hey guys!” Jimin smiles widely, leaning over to give you a tight squeeze. He pulls away and gives Taehyung an even bigger hug, the two of them pecking each other on the lips quickly. You watch the two soulmates in awe. As much as you wanted to believe the soulmate thing was bullshit—these two were living proof that it works. And deep down, it hurts.

The three of you order your food and lean back into your chair across from the two lovers as they converse about their day.

“What about you Y/N? Did you have a good first day?” Jimin asks. He’s got to the be the most considerate person you’ve ever met.

“Are you sure you want to hear her spiel?” Taehyung mutters sarcastically and you poke your tongue out at him.

“It was horrible Jimin,” you pout, “First, I slept through my alarm which I never do, was hungover as sit so I needed some coffee and then I got my iced coffee that was five dollars and then dropped it everywhere—“

“Wait, you were running late and still got coffee?” Jimin raises an eyebrow.

“Yeah?” You say in a duh-like tone. Jimin and Taehyung laugh at your before you continue.

“Then I walked into my first class and the fucking professor had the audacity to call me the first day straggler! How awful is that?!”

“I mean it’s true,” Taehyung grins and you flip him off.

“Not. The. Point,” you offer dramatically, “And then all of a sudden these two guys are calling me over to be in their group for a project and they’re both extremely cute although one talked way too much and one didn’t talk at all—“ “Which one was cuter?” Jimin asks curiously. Taehyung swats at his arm.

“The quiet one,” you admit, “At least to me. And then after that, I went to my last class and that went smoothly. However it started going downhill again when I went and grabbed lunch and I got a salad from East—“ “Oh no,” Jimin groans, “East dining hall? Y/N you know that place is whack.”

“I know that but I was hungry! And then I ate my salad and then while I was driving back to my apartment I literally almost shit myself.”

The three of you begin to laugh at how ridiculous your day actually was.

“I mean what kind of fucking luck is that?!”

“You’ve definitely had better days for sure…” Taehyung says eying you from across the table, “I mean look at that outfit and hair,” he tsks.

“Hey! Fuck you,” you pick up your straw wrapper and throw it at him across from you. He’s laughing just as your food arrives. It looks and even smells better, the three of you immediately digging in.

The three of you continue small chatter amongst yourselves, Jimin and Taehyunf being too cute and in love for their own good. You are in the middle of slurping your noodles when your nearly choke on your food when a new, but familiar face walks into the restaurant. The Jungkook guy from your class. And he’s not alone as a girl who is extremely pretty trails in behind of him.

“What are you looking at?” Taehyung asks and he turns over his shoulder to follow your line of sight. “Who is that cutie?” He then says. Jimin agrees.

“It’s the guy from my class,” you whisper, hoping he doesn’t spot you. “The quiet one,” you specify. Jimin smirks before nudging Taehyung.

“You’re right,” Taehyung says looking back at you. For some reason, despite not knowing anything about Jungkook but his name, you dislike the way the random girl is looking at him. It doesn’t settle well in your stomach.

“Guess he has a soulmate,” you say slightly disappointed staring into your food.

Jimin speaks up, “No he doesn’t.”

You and Taehyung furrow your eyebrows at him.

“Are you guys forgetting soulmates is literally what I’m doing my thesis on? I can spot them when I see them,” he says keeping his voice low, “That’s not his soulmate, trust me.”

“…Right,” you hesitate. You glance back towards Jungkook and his date to find that they have been seated elsewhere in the restaurant. You bite your lip, stirring your noodles around, the weird feeling you felt when you first spotted Jungkook still deep rooted in your stomach. You don’t mention Jungkook again the entire night, only sparing glances around the restaurant to get another look at him. You come up short.

.

Your first week back at school is nearly over as Friday approaches faster than ever. Thankfully, unlike your first day shambles, the rest of your week went fairly smooth. You’ve managed to get ahead in most of your classes already and you can’t wait for the afternoon nap you’re gifting yourself later today.

Ever since Monday, you have decided to sit beside Namjoon and Jungkook in your psychology lecture now. They were easy to talk to, albeit Jungkook still quite shy, but being with your final project group was convenient. Speaking of Jungkook—he was no where to be seen today.

“Where’s your friend?” You inquire as you sit beside Namjoon. Normally Jungkook is right beside of him as the two of them always get to class earlier than you.

Namjoon shrugs, “I don’t know, he didn’t answer any of my texts this morning.”

You brush it off as your jackass of a professor begins his lecture. Your first official lecture of the semester is on the basis of the human brain and it’s connection to relationships. You nearly roll your eyes out of your head, how fun. Ten or so minutes go back of you typing up notes trying to keep up with him until rummaging disrupts your thoughts.

You glance to your left and spot Jungkook coming in late, his hair underneath a baseball cap, keeping his eyes down as he makes his way over to you and Namjoon. You inwardly wish the professor would call him out on his tardiness but of course, that doesn’t happen. Maybe your professor is a jackass and a sexist?

“Look who is late today,” You whisper as he sits down beside you. His brown eyes give you a glance before nodding to Namjoon.

“Sorry,” he gives you a soft smile, “Today has not been my day,” he briefly explains.

You raise your eyebrows as him, but decide against questioning him.

“I get it,” you respond.

“Hey! You in back,” your professor is suddenly stopping his lecture and pointing his finger towards you. Oh for fucks sake. “If you’re going to talk in my class, don’t bothering coming as I post the lecture slides online afterwards.”

You feel embarrassment taking over your body as Namjoon to your right is snickering at you and Jungkook on your left is sending you an apologetic stare.

Definitely sexist.

.

The next couple weeks of classes went by in a flash. So far, they were all going well and you liked all your professors—minus Mr. Sexist Jackass for psychology—but other than that, you were having no trouble. You had been able to meet other people and get into study group chats which you knew would help in the next few weeks as your first midterm was quickly approaching.

If there was one thing you were slacking on though, it was your group project for said psychology class. Which is why you texted Namjoon and Jungkook to meet at a coffee place on campus to discuss getting started and what roles you all would take.

“Hey,” Jungkook is the first to arrive and you give him a sweet smile. Within the past two weeks, he had become more open to talking to you and you sensed a blossoming friendship between you and him.

“Hi, how are you?” You ask him as you move your stuff out of the way so he could sit down. He sits across from you, his eyes meeting yours.

“I’m alright,” he says with not much energy taking a gulp from whatever drink he was sipping on. It looked to be an iced americano. “You?”

“Pretty good, although I’m already stressed about exams coming up,” you let your worries slip from you.

Jungkook shakes his head, “I haven’t thought about exams yet,” he says honestly.

You give him a hard stare before saying, “What even is your major? I know Namjoon is pre-med but I don’t think you’ve told me.”

He swallows the rest of his drink, “Sports medicine,” he responds with a straight smile.

“Hm,” you say, “So do you dress up as Sporty Spice for Halloween then?”

He lets out a laugh before nodding, “Yeah, every year.”

You laugh with him and you can’t help but notice how great his smile is. He really is attractive, you can’t deny that.

“Where the fuck is Namjoon?” You groan after your laughter dies out, looking down at your watch.

“Here!” You jump in your seat as Namjoon comes up behind you and you nearly fall out of your seat. Namjoon apologizes quickly about being late before scooting to sit beside you.

“Don’t worry about it,” you shake your head, “So, when do you guys want to start working on our project? I would hate for us to procrastinate and have to cram at the end of the semester.”

Namjoon nods, “I was thinking the same. We need to choose a topic first though… got any ideas?” He takes out a pen and notepad to scribble stuff down. You could tell Namjoon was just as studious as you were… Jungkook on the other hand was definitely more of a “go with the flow” type of student—not necessarily a bad thing though.

“Kook, any ideas?” Namjoon asks and Jungkook shrugs before throwing out there—

“Sex,” He says and you snicker at his suggestion. “What? That’s all the professor talks about, might as well give him something he’s interested in…” Jungkook retaliates.

You glance at Namjoon and he rolls his eyes.

“I get what you’re saying Kook but I think we should be more specific than that,” Namjoon deadpans and you nod agreeing with him. “Y/N?”

“Mmmm,” you hum, “Maybe we could do research on how sex differs between different people?”

Namjoon nods slowly, looking over at Jungkook quickly, “What if looked at how sex affects the body when it comes to soulmates?”

You throat goes dry at Namjoon’s suggestion and you have to compose yourself so you won’t give yourself away. You look over at Jungkook who looks just as uncomfortable as you do and it makes you furrow your eyebrows. Maybe Jimin’s sixth sense was right?

“I mean is there even research for that?” You look at him, your question somewhat patronizing.

“Oh yeah,” he says matter-of-factly, “There’s lots of research on how the body responds when people are intimate with people that aren’t their soulmates.”

You glance at Jungkook again whose eyes are dancing around the room and you’re not even sure he’s tuned into the conversation anymore.

“What do you think Jungkook?” You ask him.

“Sure,” he says, “Whatever will get us the grade.”

“Alright then, let’s meet up again next week after we each do some research,” Namjoon smiles before gathering his things up, “I hate to bounce like this but my tutoring shift starts in ten minutes and those freshman are so gullible I can make twice as much money off of them,” he says before waving you two off, leaving you and Jungkook alone.

“Does he really scam freshman?” You ask, somewhat horrified at his statement. Jungkook lets out a laugh, visibly a lot more comfortable now that the previous conversation has passed.

“Only when then they’re dumb enough,” he responds before he begins to gather his things too, “See in you class?”

You nod once, noticing what seems to be a silver Rolex covering his left wrist. Who the hell has a Rolex in college?

“See you in class.”

. “Well, well look who the cat dragged in?” Jimin smiles at you from behind the bar. Yeah—not only was Jimin currently getting his master’s in psychology, he also bartended on the weekends at one of your local bars.

You give him a smile as Taehyung isn’t far behind you, putting his head on your shoulder to look up at the menu.

“Hi babe,” Jimin smiles and Taehyung returns one, wrapping his arms around your front.

“Hi,” he smiles, visibly much more drunk than you were. “I’m pretending she’s you so don’t get jealous okay?” He slurs.

“Hey!” You fight back looking at Taehyung, “Crazy how people change after you ‘fall in love’,” you air quote yourself with sarcasm.

Taehyung laughs in your ear, “You should try it sometime babe,” under normal circumstances, you would have felt very offended at his remark because he knows your situation but with alcohol running through your veins—you let it slide.

“Can I have two green tea shots?” You ask Jimin and he nods quickly.

“Make it four,” Taehyung orders and Jimin laughs before nodding, heading off to make your shots.

Taehyung finally lets go of your middle and you both settle to lean on the bar whilst your drinks are being made.

“How was your week babe?” Taehyung asks, “Better I presume? You look hot so I’m assuming all is well?” He raises an eyebrow at you.

You gives him a smile, glancing down at your outfit. Your mini-wrap skirt and skin tight tank top was as basic as it could get, but it made you look and feel good about yourself.

“Good as it gets Tae,” you say flinging your hair behind your shoulder. On a scale 1 to 10 of drunkeness, you were probably a good 5 but you knew once Jimin was finished with your shots, you would be closer to a 7 or 8.

“I know I’m going to sound fucking crazy right now but it’s kind of just registering what I said to you about falling in love and I did not mean it like that—“ “Taehyung it’s fine,” you shake your head, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“No,” he shakes his head, “It’s not… I’m sorry I’m just really drunk right now,” he groans almost painfully.

“I know,” you smile at him before noticing Jimin has come back with your shots. “And you’re about to be even more drunk so whatever you say, apologize for it now.”

He looks up at the ceiling closing his eyes, “I’m sorry to whoever for the dumb shit I will say the rest of the evening, amen.”

“He’s religious now?” Jimin asks scooting the glasses over to you two.

“Apparently,” you eye him before taking a glass for you and handing one to Taehyung.

“To… senior year!” Taehyung says loudly over the music and you nod, clinking your glasses together.

“To senior year!” You say before downing the shot in its entirety. “Oh my god Jimin,” you groan, “I will never forgive you for getting me on these.”

“What can I say? If you’re gonna drink might as well enjoy it,” is the last thing he says before checking on another customer beside you and Taehyung.

“Oh god,” Taehyung says after downing his shot, looking over your shoulder.

“What?” You ask him, getting ready to down your second one.

“It’s the quiet one, the cute one,” Taehyung’s words confuse you until you begin to piece them together. Quiet… cute… Jungkook.

You take a glance over your shoulder and you nearly jump out of your skin when you see Jungkook looking right back at you. He gives you a small wave and smile and you do the same. He looks really good—blue jeans a t-shirt with his lovely ink being show. What intrigues you the most though is a 35mm camera hanging around his neck. You don’t recognize any of the people he is with before you turn back around, feeling your cheeks heat up even though no one could see it.

“Jungkook,” you say to Taehyung, “That’s his name.”

As much as you wished Taehyung would stop staring in his direction, you knew he was drunk and fighting him on it wouldn’t get you anywhere.

“Well, I think Jungkook,” Taehyung grabs his second shot, “Is hot as fuck and you should totally make a move,” Taehyung finally looks back at you and downs his liquor without waiting on you. You follow suit, the shot slivering down your throat.

“No,” you shake your head, “I don’t think he’s into me, plus I don’t even know if he has a partner or not.”

“You heard what Jimin said a couple weeks ago,” he retorts.

“How does Jimin know he’s right? I mean it’s not like we as humans have a fucking ‘yeah I have a soulmate’ scent to us like were goddamn dogs or something. I mean as much as I would totally make a move on him, I just don’t think I can do—“

“Uh, Y/N,” Taehyung nudges you from your rant.

“What?” You return harshly. A small smirk rises on his face before he points beside of you. You look to your left and your eyes widen when you see Jungkook coming up behind of you.

“J-Jungkook,” you manage to get out, “Hi.”

He approaches you and Taehyung with a warm smile, “Hey Y/N.” His eyes move to Taehyung and you clear your throat to introduce them.

“Jungkook this is Taehyung, Taehyung… Jungkook,” you smile between the two handsome men.

“Nice you to meet you,” Taehyung smiles widely and Jungkook nods.

“What are you doing out tonight?” You ask Jungkook and he steps closer to you as someone pushes past him.

“Trying to relieve some stress,” he answers with a laugh, “Can I get you a drink?” He scratches the back of his head, glancing over at Taehyung again.

“Oh, are you sure?” You ask him before he nods again. You give him a smile, “Alright, whatever you’re having I’ll have.”

“Jimin!” You yell over the music to get his attention. He stops drying a glass and immediately comes to you, his eyes falling on the companion behind of you.

“Can I get two Michelob's?” Jungkook says and you can feel his chest pressing into your back as the overwhelming amount of people pushing and pulling in the bar.

Jimin nods before quickly going into the cooler, popping the tops from the bottle and sliding them over to you.

“Thanks,” you both say grabbing them.

“Thank you,” you turn around to Jungkook and in this position, you underestimated how close you actually are to him. Chest to chest and his head towers over as he looks down at you with a smile.

“No problem,” he says, “Do you wanna go outside? Get some air and more space?”

It’s like he read your mind. “Yeah, sure.”

You tap Taehyung on the shoulder to get his attention from Jimin.

“I’m going outside, I’ll text you if I can’t find you again.”

He nods slowly, “I’ll be right here babe,” he sends you a wink before turning back around.

Jungkook’s eyes lay on Taehyung’s back a little longer than you would like. What’s he thinking right now? Without any warning, Jungkook grabs your hand gently and starts pulling you away from the crowded bar. You aren’t exactly sober right now and you can only hope that your hand isn’t sweating as much as you think it is. Jungkook leads you out to the deck that’s also crowded and loud, but leaves a lot more room to breathe.

You lean against the railing and Jungkook does the same across from you, just mere inches separating the two of you.

“Are you here with just Taehyung?” He asks you taking a sip of his beer. You follow suit. Thank god he ordered Michelob—a man with taste.

You nod, “Yeah… he wanted to go out more than I did but, here we are,” you try to make a joke at your drunkeness but fail miserably. Jungkook gives you a short lived smile.

“So… are you two like, together?” Jungkook says his words slowly, not wanting to say or imply the wrong thing. Your eyes nearly pop out of your head after he asks his question.

You start to laugh, having to cover your mouth so you don’t cackle loud enough to draw attention. Jungkook looks confused before you say—

“Taehyung’s gay,” you explain after your laughter dies down, “His partner is the bartender Jimin.”

Jungkook’s face falls and his doe eyes bulge out of his head. “Holy shit I didn’t know, I didn’t mean—“

“Jungkook it’s fine,” you wave him off, “You’re not the first person to ever ask if Tae and I are a thing. As much as I wish the universe was that nice to me to give me a man like Taehyung but no,” you smile although deep down it does hurt. You grew up with Taehyung hoping he would be your soulmate and when Jimin’s name appeared on the inside of his pinky, that dream bursted real fast.

“What about you?” You ask him. Now’s your chance. It’s got to be the alcohol that’s making this conversation easy as cake because normally, talk of this nature would not be spoken in public with this many people around.

Jungkook rolls his tongue in his cheek and you swear your heart skips a beat. He starts to shake his head, “No I just got out of a relationship.”

“Oh,” your face falls. So was he with a girlfriend at dinner a few weeks back?

“Yeah I guess the universe hates me too,” he says nonchalantly and the air suddenly feels thick with tension. So he didn’t have a soulmate? Nor did you? What were the odds?

“I hate to sound weird or creepy but,” you pause, unsure if you wanted to ask but internally you say fuck it. “I saw you a few weeks ago at the Thai place downtown with a girl, so that’s why I asked.”

Jungkook’s eyes are hard to read as he gulps his beer. You’re not sure he’s that drunk but if he is, he’s great at hiding it.

“Yeah… that was her,” he nods, “But like I said the universe is cruel and decide to give her a name after a couple months of dating,” he scoffs and almost seems angry—which I guess he has a right to be.

“Oh shit,” you mumble, “I’m sorry,” you offer.

He shakes his head, “It’s fine, what can I do about it now you know?”

You nod slowly, “Look forward to the future? Who knows what might happen.”

“You’re right,” he smiles tenderly, “To the future?” He raises his bottle.

“To the future,” you smile clinking the glass together.

“So who are you here with?” You ask him.

“Just my roommates, Yugyeom and Mingyu,” he explains while licking his lips and your heart skips a beat again.

“You don’t strike me as the type that gets out much you know,” you push a finger into his chest, narrowing your eyesight. 1 to 10 on the drunk scale? An 8 or 9 at the moment.

“Why’s that?” He amuses.

“Jeon, you barely spoke to me the first two weeks of class. I thought you were fucking mute.”

He suddenly steps closer to you and it forces you to drop your finger.

“I’m shy okay?” He says with a pout. “I’m good now though? Right?” You swear his eyes are like a damn puppy dog looking at you like that. Your throat goes dry before you nod.

“For the most part I guess,” you offer weakly batting your eyelashes at him. You glance down his body quickly and notice the way his light blue jeans hug his tiny waist and thick thighs deliciously. Jesus fucking Christ.

“What this all about?” you point to his camera that’s dangling between his pecs. You needed to get your mind back to PG and fast.

He smiles lightly, “My hobby,” he says simply, “I like to take pictures for memories sake.”

“Memories sake,” you repeat, “So do you take it with you everywhere then?”

“Only if I think something interesting might happen that needs to be captured,” he shrugs. God he was so attractive and the longer you stared at him, the faster you were falling down a hole.

“What have you captured tonight then?”

“Nothing much really,” he glances down your front quickly and he thinks you don’t notice until you smirk at him.

“Take a picture of me,” you tilt your head with a smile, “I’m a treasure that should be captured, don’t ya think?” the alcohol was getting to you bad. When Jungkook laughs at you, you swear you saw two faces and you knew you needed to sober the fuck up.

“Alright, fine,” he says, stepping away from you to adjust his lens for the lighting. You lean onto the railing with you elbow, giving him a smile when you look towards his camera. He snaps the picture twice and the flash momentarily blinds you. He looks back at his view finder and you step to him to see it.

“See, a treasure,” you say.

He nods slowly before looking down at you, “Definitely.”

You feel yourself stepping closer to him, leaning up to get a full view of his face. You bite your lip as he leans down, your noses brushing together before you step back.

“Wait… so you don’t have a soulmate?” You keep your voice low and hesitant.

He shakes his head, “No,” he says, “See.” He shows his wrists and in between his fingers and nothing. You do the same for him, moving your bracelets and watch back. He gives you a small smirk before leaning down to close the gap between the two of you. You inhale his clean scent as you push up on your toes to deepen the kiss. With your hand that isn’t occupied you bring it to the side of his face to caress his skin. His lips are so fucking soft and you whine as he pulls away.

“I would ask you to go home with me but I think you’re too drunk,” he says honestly and you furrow your eyebrows at him with a sad pout.

“Hey I’m fine,” you defend yourself.

“I just don’t want you to think I’m that type of guy,” he says, “I’m pretty far from that.”

His words are sweet and considerate and you’re not sure any guy you have met that would be in this position to not jump straight into your pants. As much as you wouldn’t mind Jungkook to do that—you could see where he was coming from. Besides, you were really drunk and really tired so you probably wouldn’t even get off which would defeat the purpose of getting laid.

“Jungkook I know, I can see that,” you tell him before you bite your lip again, “But I am a great cuddlier if that has any weight?”

A large smile falls on his lips and his nose scrunches up from giggling. “Alright, you’re the big spoon though,” he deadpans.

You roll your eyes, “We’ll see about that.” Jungkook smirks before grabbing your hand for both of you to close out your tabs and head to his place.

.

You wake up the next morning in an unfamiliar, but quite comfortable bed. You blink your eyes slowly to let light in and you stretch your feet our from your fetal position. Once your vision focuses you see that you’re alone underneath a grey duvet and you nearly freak out until you quickly remember your previous evening.

You had got to Jungkook’s place around 12:30 AM and aside from light making out, nothing extreme happened between you two as Jungkook insisted on being sober before going there. He obviously lost the argument about who was going to be the big and little spoon as you both fell asleep comfortably with his arms around your front. Speaking of—where was he?

You push the covers from your body and see you’re dressed in an oversized t-shirt, your clothes neatly folded on his dresser. You memory is slightly fuzzy, unsure if you changed your clothes yourself or if Jungkook dressed you. Heat rushes to you face at the thought. Damn, you hoped you hadn’t seemed desperate but when you were drunk—that tended to happen. Although not as much anymore as random hookups slowed down the older you got as most people were linking up with their destined lovers.

Fuck—you think, you had nearly forgotten perhaps the biggest detail of last night. Jungkook didn’t have a soulmate. The thought made you giddy on the inside. Maybe he was just as fucked up as you were.

You’re about to leave Jungkook’s room until he suddenly appears in the doorway.

“Oh, hey I was just coming to see if you were up,” he gives you a soft smile and you have to scramble your eyes away from his heavily built chest and torso. You find that he has tattoos all the way up his knuckles to his shoulder. Fuck.

“I just woke up,” you mumble stepping towards the door.

“I made some breakfast,” he says reaching towards your hand gently, “I have some medicine too if you’re hungover.”

You smile at him as he pulls you to him to walk you down the short hallway to his kitchen. It smelt of bacon, eggs, and toast—just what you needed.

“Thanks,” you say gratefully as you take a seat on one of his barstools. He slides a plate over to you as well as a bottle of Advil. “You already ate?” You ask him as you begin to dive into the food that will surely settle your rumbling stomach.

“Sorry,” he laughs, “I woke up awhile ago and went for a run so I had to eat.”

You swat your hand not caring, “It’s fine—wait, what time is it?” Your eyes bulge.

He looks at his silver watch, “Almost noon,” he says, his eyes not looking at tired as he probably is.

“Noon?!” You say with a mouthful of bread, “What the hell I never this sleep this late…” you say after swallowing.

“You drank a lot last night Y/N,” he laughs at you and you give him your middle finger. He rests on his hands across from you in the kitchen and you can’t help but notice the veins in his arms. Was the universe really being this good to you? After all this time, giving you access to someone who is this fine and who doesn’t have a partner? You almost couldn’t believe it.

“Sorry if I was annoying, or needy, or anything like that,” you say somewhat embarrassed that Jungkook had to deal with you even though neither of you know each other that well.

His eyes soften, “It’s fine. You were funny.”  

You’ve devoured your plate of food and you hop down from the barstool to clean your plate. Since he cooked, the least you could was put away your mess.

“Oh I’m hilarious,” you give him a snide look before you bump him with your hip to scoot him over so you can wash your plate. He obliges whilst watching your every move. Jungkook seeing you in one of his favorite t-shirts is driving him delirious.

“But seriously though,” your voice cuts his inappropriate train of thought, “If I said anything incriminating, don’t tell anyone,” you give him a side look as you dry your plate. Jungkook laughs before a smirk appears on his face.

“I quite enjoyed your rambling,” he steps closer to you as you turn to look up at him. “It was very… what’s the word… suggestive,” he looks off as if he’s running deep thoughts.

You roll your eyes—yup, definitely horny and needy words were said. Feeling somewhat brave—maybe it was because you weren’t really hungover and the fact that Jungkook is standing there like that in front of you—you step towards him so your chests are touching.

“Maybe you should remind me what I said one day then?” You whisper only so he can hear. He chuckles through his nose before placing one of his hands on your back to pull you flush against him.

“Why not right now?” He says, his nose dipping to touch yours. His eyes are soft but carry a darkness to them you can’t quite read. You give him a small nod before you move your head to place your lips on his. Your mouths mold together like putty slowly before he slips his tongue into your mouth to tease you.  

You pull away quickly, “Wait, don’t you have roommates?” You whisper again looking around the quiet apartment. You noticed how clean it was to be housed by 3 men in their early twenties.

“They’re asleep,” he says, caressing your lower back, his hand begging to go to your ass but he restrains himself. “So you’ll have to be quiet, unlike last night,” he raises an eyebrow at you.

“Challenge accepted,” you grab his face to pull him back down to you to connect your lips once more.

His hands grapple your waist desperately to pull you flush against him. He smells like laundry and cotton, the scent driving you mad. As Jungkook realizes that the two of you are still in his kitchen and Yugyeom or Mingyu could easily come out of their rooms any moment, he pulls away from you and you follow him back into his room. He wastes no time shutting his door and pushing you against it.

You felt yourself growing dizzier by the second as he continued to kiss you with a gentle force that you’ve never experienced before. He was probably the best kisser you’ve ever kissed.  You could tell he wanted to touch you and you wanted him to touch you so you began to trace your hands up his sculpted back and pushing your hips out towards him.

Jungkook now having your permission, one of his hands trail up your thigh to push his t-shirt away from your backside, his large hand massaging the skin carefully and calculated. Suddenly you found his lips on your neck as he pushes your body further into his door.

“Jungkook,” you groaned quietly as he nipped at the sensitive skin. He pulls your thigh up against his leg and you nearly let out a moan when you feel his hardening cock press into your center.

“Fuck,” you breathe out as you let out an experimental roll of your hips against his. Jungkook pulls back with a short chuckle before kissing your lips gently again.

“Quiet,” he laughs again and you push his chest away from yours to get him to sit on the edge of his bed. You crawl onto his lap, straddling his tiny waist and thick thighs. You continued to kiss like no tomorrow before you placed your palm over his center.

“Shit,” he groans into your mouth as you palm him slowly and torturously. “Y/N, wait, are you sure?”  

You pull your hand back and stare down at him with hazy eyes. You nod frantically, “Yes, are you?”

“God yes,” he breathes out and in one smooth motion, he flips you two over with him standing in between your legs. He begins to take his shirt from your body and you happily help him and his eyes immediately go to your breasts, your nipples taut for him.

He kisses you again before kissing down your neck and then down over your boobs, his tongue swirling and his teeth nipping at all the right places. Jungkook finds himself on his knees, right in front of where you need each other most. He spreads your legs a little more before he goes right in to kiss your center over your underwear. Your head falls back as you rest on your hands watching him bite his lip in excitement. You’d never had a guy go down on your the first hookup—you thought you could be in love right now.

His brown eyes glance at you briefly before you nod for him to make sure what he was going was okay. He fingers pull at your underwear and you lift your hips to help him drag the material down your legs. He grabs your hips and pulls your towards him, his mouth going straight to work on you.

You shut your eyes at the feeling unable to keep them open as he laps up and down your slit. He kisses you with hunger and when he finds your clit, the moan that escapes your mouth is loud and embarrassing.

“Oh god, Jungkook,” he smirks against your pussy before continuing to lap at your sensitive bud, his fingers now teasing your entrance.

He slips in one finger, pumping it slowly before entering a second—stretching you just how you need. You fall back on your elbows and your toes curl when you feel an orgasm close approaching.

“Fuck, fuck,” your hips raise as he focuses on your clit, his eyes never leaving your face. He can tell you’re about to come and he’d be damned if he didn’t bring you there. Two more kitten licks send you over the edge and you climax hard having to bite your lip so you don’t make much noise.

Jungkook licks his lips as he comes back to you to kiss you. You welcome him with open arms and you pull him on top of you. You needed him now and the issue in his pants showed he wanted you just as much. You help him push down his sweats and boxers and when you first get sight of his dick, your mouth nearly drops. Okay—the universe was definitely helping you out right now.

You reach down between you, wrapping your hands around his girth to fully harden him. He sucks in a deep breath when you pull and tug at his sensitive skin. You take his pre cum on your thumb and rub it around to make the slip easier. His forehead falls against your shoulder as you continue to jerk him off. His breathing increases as each pull comes from your hand and he’ quickly pushing your hand away.

“I wanna be inside you baby,” he says and it sends a shockwave through your core.

Jungkook finds a condom from his side table and rolls it on quickly. He positions himself between you, his nose brushing against yours as he pecks your lips.

“Ready?” He asks you as he guides his tip into you. Both of your mouths fall agape, a small whine coming from Jungkook’s throat as he pushes deeper into you. “Fuck—Y/N, you’re so tight.”

You lift your hips to help him get as deep as possible and when he bottoms out, you’re unsure if you’ve ever felt this full your entire life. His forehead falls against your shoulder once more and he kisses your exposed skin gently as he starts to slowly thrust in and out of you.

He feels more than amazing and your whole body feels on fire.

“Jungkook,” you breathe out as you wrap your legs around his back, “Faster, please.” You don’t care about sounding desperate.

He sits up on his elbows and obeys, snapping his hips against you harder and quicker. You hold onto his cheeks, your fingertips pulling at his hair and neither of you can be quiet now.

“Shit,” he marvels at the way he disappears inside of you, your cunt squeezing around him so he won’t leave.

“Jungkook—ah,” he hits your deepest spot in you and he sticks his thumb in your mouth to bite down on to shut you up. His other fingers grip the side of your neck and you feel like you could pass out from his ministrations.

“I’m not gonna last much longer,” he whispers in your ear and you nod pulling his face down to you, snapping your hips to meet up with his. You found yourself clenching around his cock as Jungkook’s breaths get shakier and shakier. “Fuck Y/N.”

“Don’t stop,” you managed to get out as he hammered you into his mattress, hitting your g-spot perfectly—another orgasm quickly coming into your system. Jungkook’s face was contorted and tortured as he chased his high deep inside of you. “Come on Jungkook,” you whisper beside his ear and he lifts his head up, crashing his lips onto yours.

Between your desperate attempts to be quiet and Jungkook’s relentless pace, you come again around his cock fast and hard, pulsating around him in spurts.

“Ah—fuck,” Jungkook’s hips ram into yours deeply as he finally finds his release. He collapses on top of your frame, his elbows the only thing holding him up. He pulls himself out of you a moment later, but he doesn’t move his body from above you.

Both of you are breathing heavy, it being the only sound radiating in the room. You caress  the right side of his face, pushing his bangs away from his forehead. He leans into your touch with a small smile before kissing your wrist gently. He then rolls his body from yours, discarding of his condom quickly.

You both turn to each other as Jungkook throws an arm lazily around your waist.

“Are you even real?” His deep voice suddenly says with his eyes closed. You give him a sheepish smile as he opens his eyes.

“The universe is fucking funny huh?” You say and Jungkook laughs deep within his chest.

“Very funny,” he mumbles before watching your face intently.

“Now what?” You ask obliviously. Sure, you had your hookups on and off before but with Jungkook—something felt different—in a good way. Like he wasn’t supposed to be a hookup—but something more.

He shrugs, “Whatever you wanna be.”

You bite your lip hesitating before saying, “I know you just got out of a relationship so I don’t want you to feel rushed or anything.”

“It’s fine Y/N,” he gives you a small smile, “I’m fine with whatever you’re fine with. As long as you don’t break my heart.”

You laugh, swatting at his chest playfully, “You mean as long as you don’t break my heart.”

He smirks, “Deal.”

.

You meet with Namjoon and Jungkook the following week to begin working on your project. You three decided on meeting in the library after all of your classes were over for the day to keep it convenient. You and Jungkook finished around the same time and ended up grabbing some food before heading out to the library. It had not been that long since you and Jungkook hooked up and you two began to text and Snapchat each other everyday. Your friendship with Jungkook hadn’t changed in any way as you two didn’t officially have a label yet, but now one look at him sent you weak to the knees.  

“You guys seriously couldn’t wait for me to get food?!” Namjoon shows up on the second floor of the library around 6:25 PM. You and Jungkook laugh at him as he sits down. He looks exhausted.

“Rough day?” You ask him as he sits down from across from you and Jungkook.

He lets out a deep sigh, “Have you ever amputated a finger before?”

You and Jungkook give each other an odd glance before scrunching your nose, “No, what the fuck?” Jungkook mutters.

Namjoon gives you a straight smile, “Well how about 4 fingers? That was my day summed up and I still think I’m queasy,” he shakes his head slowly.

You furrow your eyebrows at him, “Joon, don’t you wanna be a doctor?”

“Family medicine, not surgery or anything gross like that,” he explains and that makes much more sense—though I’m sure Namjoon knows medical school has a lot more than family medicine waiting for him.

“Gotcha,” you pull up the documents you have saved for your research on your computer. Under the table, Jungkook nudges your knee with his and you have to fight the urge to smile.

Namjoon watches, the two of you oblivious.

“You look happy,” he says. Jungkook looks up from his phone and you from your screen.

“Who?” You and Jungkook same at the same time.

Namjoon narrows his eyes, “Both of you… strange,” he licks his lips pondering on his words.

You glance at Jungkook before turning back to your screen, not wanting to be caught in his stare.

“Am I not allowed to be in a good mood?” Jungkook laughs sarcastically.

You bite your lip trying to suppress your smile. Sure, you and Jungkook had hooked up once or twice now and you two were slowly getting to know each other more everyday—but you swore the butterflies in your stomach told you something was special about him.

“I mean, you’re just always so quiet… and—hey why are you laughing?” Namjoon looks at you with a serious expression.

“I’m not laughing,” you say, biting the inside of your cheek.

“Yeah Y/N, quit laughing,” Jungkook says, nudging your leg under the table again.

“God I’m gonna get queasy again,” Namjoon’s face contorts, his eyes darting between the two of you, “Since when do you two flirt with each other? In front of me?”

Once again, you keep your eyes away from Jungkook, “We’re not flirting,” you say monotonously.

Namjoon looks at Jungkook since you refuse to meet anyone’s gaze. Namjoon raises his  eyebrows at his friend curiously, an unspoken language going between them. Jungkook smirks before giving you one last glance before he says—

“Y/N and I hooked up.”

Your eyes widen instantly at Jungkook’s words and you whip your head to turn towards him.

“Jungkook what the fuck! I thought we weren’t gonna tell anyone!” Your words give away to Namjoon that Jungkook wasn’t bluffing.

Jungkook’s eyes soften looking at you, “Come on, his crazy ass was onto us anyways,” he motions towards Namjoon.

“Yeah, uh huh. I knew something was off when Jungkook’s ears kept going red every time he looked at you,” Namjoon slowly starts to smile, “How disgusting is that.”

You flip him off, “Well, don’t tell anyone.”  

“So,” Namjoon pauses, “You guys aren’t…?” He trails his question off and both of you know what he wants to say. Soulmates.

Slowly, you both shake your head. Namjoon is slightly confused himself. Normally by 18 years old people have their other half assigned to them—him included. His partner’s name appeared on the inside of his palm when he was 15. But you and Jungkook were almost 22?

“Do you guys have one? That you just haven’t met yet?” Namjoon keeps his question low.

Again, you both shake your heads. Wow, Namjoon thinks. An idea suddenly pops into his head.

“Wait so—I have an idea,” Namjoon’s eyes light up.

“Oh god,” Jungkook mumbles.

“So if you guys don’t have partners and you two keep… doing it,” he pauses with a laugh, “Couldn’t we use your experience in our project?”

It takes a few moments for Namjoon’s words to register as your mouth falls agape. Jungkook pinches the bridge of his nose, unsure if he heard Namjoon correctly.

“Hyung, didn’t you just hear her say not to tell anyone?” Jungkook deadpans.

“I mean we don’t have to specify names,” Namjoon quickly elaborates, “I mean you guys did some research right? You’ve read all the horrible stuff that happens to people who go against nature.”

Yeah, you did read about that stuff and it absolutely terrified you. But even after hooking up with Jungkook and other suitors in your life—nothing bad had happened to you, so if anything, this research exists to only frighten people.

“Namjoon, I get what you’re saying but—I don’t know, we might not even hook up again,” you laugh waving your hand off.

“Wait, why not?” Jungkook’s voice suddenly goes to a higher pitch, his eyes looking at you quickly. Namjoon chuckles at the exchange. Namjoon had known Jungkook a long time and he’s never seen him want this much validation from a female—ever.

“I mean,” you pause looking at the dark haired boy beside you, “I didn’t know if—“

“Yeah yeah, work out this shit later,” Namjoon interrupts, “But I don’t know, just something to keep in mind over the rest of the semester.”

With that, the conversation ended and the three of you managed to begin typing up your report. Occasionally, you would bump Jungkook’s knee here and there just to see his reaction. He would smile although not sparing a glance at you. By the end of your study session, all three of you got a good start on the project and Jungkook’s hand rested on your thigh the whole night and you knew it didn’t belong anywhere else.

.

Weeks later, yours and Jungkook’s relationship became slightly more complicated. While you two managed to stay cordial in class and hide whatever the hell was going on between you two—once you two were alone, all bets were fucking off. Jungkook would come to your place or you would go to his when his roommates were out and he would fuck you into the mattress until you were nearly screaming. It was good—he was good—and quickly you felt yourself starting to catch feelings for him. You knew that was dangerous territory considering a name might pop up on your body any day, so as hard as it was, you repressed your feelings for him. You were unsure of how Jungkook felt. As better as he was at talking now and he did trust you, he wasn’t one for deep talk unless he had a few glasses of wine in his system. You were fine with that though, knowing it was probably for the better.

You had thought everything was going good—Jungkook, classes, exams, your project, keeping up with Taehyung and Jimin—until it all came crashing down one afternoon at your apartment.

It was a Friday afternoon and you had invited Jungkook over to… well… get your brains fucked out. You like to think you are a smart girl but today, you were being a grade ass dumbass because you had completely forgotten about your lunch date with Taehyung and Jimin.

Normally, Taehyung wouldn’t have cared if you had missed one day with him but as your best friend of years and years—he noticed something had been off with you lately. Slightly more… flakey than normal. Jimin noticed it too. So when Taehyung found himself outside of your apartment that Friday afternoon, what he saw—shook him to his core.

You and Jungkook had just gotten out of the shower after going at it like bunnies for a good hour. He couldn’t keep his hands off of you, placing his lips around yours and down your neck, leaving barely there marks behind of your ears.

“Jungkook—stop,” you push his bare chest away as you heard someone knocking on your door. He gives you a shit-eating grin, staying back in the hallway as you go to the door, holding the towel up around your body tight.

You open the door and your face fell instantly. Fuck.

“Taehyung? Jimin?” Your voice shakes, “W-what are you doing here?”

Without any warning Taehyung and Jimin step into your apartment and you begin to panic.

“What the hell Y/N, you’ve bailed on us without explanation three times now!” Taehyung says dramatically, “I mean damn I know Jimin and I are disgusting sometimes but the least you can do is give a heads—what’s that?” Taehyung’s eyes land on your neck and you step away from him, holding your towel closer to you.

“N-nothing,” you stutter. “I’m s-sorry I forgot about lunch, I’ve been really busy lately,” your excuse is lame, but you have nothing else.

“Busy?” Taehyung says eyeing you up and down, “I can see that.”

“Y/N hey where is—“ your eyes roll into the back of your head as Jungkook enters your living room at just the wrong time. No, he didn’t know it was Taehyung and Jimin, but it still doesn’t make you happy. Especially since he’s just wearing sweatpants, his hair wet like yours, compromising your secret.

“Whoa,” Jimin suddenly laughs looking at the scene. “This the quiet one?” He points over at Jungkook. Jungkook pouts—what are they talking about?—he thinks to himself.

“Holy shit Y/N what are you doing?” Taehyung doesn’t seem as enthusiastic. He looks over at Jungkook and you swear you see Taehyung salivate inside his mouth, “I mean I get why you’re doing it but, c’mon isn’t this risky?”

“I know you’re probably confused,” you bite your lip nervously. “I shouldn’t have kept this from you.”

“Yeah no shit,” he genuinely seems angry, an emotion not common to him. “We’re best friends Y/N.”

“Tae, c’mon it’s really none of our business,” Jimin steps in trying to help you out.

“It is too my business when he could potentially hurt her,” Taehyung crosses his arms. Jungkook seems taken aback by his comment and he steps towards you from behind.

“I mean I like her,” Jungkook’s voice quickly speaks up, startling you from behind. You turn your body to look at him, his eyes meeting yours.

“You do?” Your voice comes out in a squeak, a smile spreading on your face like a wildfire.

“You do?” Taehyung asks this time, looking between you two. He looks at his partner Jimin who specializes in this stuff. Jimin nods at Taehyung for reassurance.

“Yeah, a lot actually,” Jungkook steps closer to you, throwing an arm around your shoulder to pull you close to his chest. You try to hide your embarrassingly huge smile.

Taehyung’s body visibly falters, his eyes going back to his usual soft gaze. Taehyung knew you deserved happiness and if Jungkook made you happy—who was he to stop that?

“I’m sorry again for keeping this from you, it’s just we didn’t want…”

“No I get it,” he nods, “But don’t do that shit again,” he gives you a smile. As warm as Jungkook’s embrace is, you step away and give yourself to Taehyung’s arms.

“You’re the best,” you mumble into his chest.

“Bitch, I know,” his chest rumbles against yours. Jungkook watches you and Taehyung embrace, his heart swelling. Goddamn—maybe he is in a little too deep. At this point, he doesn’t care though. If anything, he wants to make you happy and he’d be damned to let the universe stop that.

.

It was officially Halloween. Nearly three months after you and Jungkook first crossed paths and met, the two of you were also “official”. Neither of you can recall the exact date it happened, but it was not long after Taehyung and Jimin busted you two. You and Jungkook had decided to not tell that many people outside of your inner circle—neither of you wanting to deal with the glares and questions. You didn’t have a name attached on your body and he didn’t either, so what were you guys doing wrong? Nothing. He was yours and you were his and you haven’t been this happy in a long time.

Jungkook, though his Virgo nature being quite selfish sometimes, was always sweet, caring, checking in on you, surprising you with flowers, genuine, and opened up some of his deepest fears to you. You had been on cloud nine for months all because of him. You had probably thanked Namjoon at least six different occasions for dragging you over to meet them way back when. Namjoon was happy for you two—though being as quizzical as he was—he had his concerns, though he never outright voiced them.

Jimin being how he was, had his concerns too. Everyone around you and Jungkook saw how you two were infatuated around each other. Jimin had never seen two people who weren’t soulmates have the connection you two had. It worried him for many reasons, which is why he’s voicing them to Taehyung right now.

“Babe, I don’t know,” Jimin says as him and Taehyung somehow got on the topic of you and Jungkook. “Don’t you think they’re moving really fast?” He questions.

Taehyung looks at his partner, a confused expression crossing his features, “Why do you say that? As long as Y/N is happy, I don’t really care who dicks her down at night, soulmate or not.”

Jimin lets out a laugh before shaking his head, “I mean, in all my case studies I’ve never seen two people like that.”

Taehyung deadpans his boyfriend, “Jimin, you of all people should know that’s not true.”

Jimin nods, immediately understanding where he is coming from. “I know. I’m just worried one of them will get hurt. A name is destined to show up on them eventually.”

Taehyung grinds his teeth, “Y/N has never been one to feed into that stuff so I’m not sure she would care anyways.”

“But she should Tae,” Jimin says, “Jungkook too. I mean there’s serious repercussions to messing with nature.”

“Well they’re fine now, aren’t they?” by Taehyung’s response—Jimin isn’t even sure if he full listening to him. Taehyung being good with numbers and business, he doesn’t fully grasp the concepts of soulmates like Jimin does. For Jimin—it’s his studies, his passion, his life.

“Yeah but—“ Jimin gets cut off by a harsh knock on his apartment door.

“They’re here,” Taehyung smiles walking over to get the door, “Don’t say anything sketch okay?” he warns Jimin as he opens the door.

You nearly fall on your ass as Taehyung opens the door. Jungkook pulls you back with a laugh as you walk into Jimin’s apartment.

“Tae! Chim!” You smile widely, throwing your arms around Taehyung’s neck tightly. You stumble in your heels and Taehyung’s hands steady you, a rumble in his chest.

“Jesus Y/N. How much have you drank already?” He exasperates, glancing over at Jungkook.

“I told her to slow down,” Jungkook puts his hands up in defense. You giggle letting go of your friend to quickly hug Jimin too. “She doesn’t listen to me,” he adds with a laugh.

“I’m fine guys,” you say glancing at Taehyung’s and Jimin’s costumes.”Really? Pirates?”  

“Hey!” Taehyung defends, “How much more cliché could you two get? A doctor and a nurse?!”

You glance over at Jungkook in his scrubs and white coat and down your body. A slutty red and white nurse’s uniform complete with thigh highs hug your figure and you quite liked it, mainly because watching Jungkook shift uncomfortably every time he glanced at you made you feel accomplished.

“Hey, we look hot,” you point at Taehyung’s chest, stumbling backwards again. Jungkook decides to pull you to his side, not wanting you to fall on your ass for real this time.

“Come on babe, slow down,” Jungkook mumbles as he wraps his arms around your front, glancing down your cleavage from behind. You nudge his stomach with your elbow.

“I’m a big girl,” you pout, “So are we going or what?”

“Yeah, just waiting on the address,” Jimin smiles waving his phone in the air.

A few moments pass, chatter between the four of you ensues. You loved your little group. Taehyung and Jimin welcomed Jungkook with open arms, the four of you going out on double dates, grabbing coffee, watching movies, and studying all became weekly occurrences. You were always so scared to dive into another relationship given your age and circumstance, but you swore that someway and somehow—you and Jungkook were meant to be together.

Twenty minutes later, the four of you step out of your Uber and make your way towards the new bar that opened near your campus. It was opening weekend and a Halloween party was obviously necessary. You held onto Jungkook’s hand tightly as you made your way inside the crowded area. You immediately aimed your way to the bar, ordering a vodka-soda, Jungkook ordering some soju.

“Don’t blackout on me now,” Jungkook raises an eyebrow at you, watching the way you take a huge sip of your drink.

“I said I’m a big girl,” you stand your ground, “I bet I can put away twice as many drinks as you.”

“Don’t listen to her Jungkook,” Taehyung says grabbing his own mixed drink, “She likes to spit nonsense when she’s drunk.”

“Oh trust me, I know,” he smirks at you and roll your eyes at him. Jungkook leans down and you peck his lips lightly—the same butterflies swirling in your stomach all these months later. Jimin watches the interaction closely. He knows exactly how you and Jungkook feels, but he still can’t shake the uneasiness deep in his gut.

“Come on, let’s dance,” you smile up at your boyfriend tugging on his arm. The music was loud and good, you were not just going to stand around. Jungkook nods quickly as you finish your drink, leaving Taehyung and Jimin behind at the bar.

Your heels made you more even with Jungkook’s height tonight as you threw your arms around his shoulders to pull him closer to you. His hands grip you waist tightly, wanting every guy here to know that you were his. For some reason, for whatever fucking reason—Jungkook felt inclined to protect you. As you sing whatever song was playing loudly, Jungkook found himself smiling and laughing at you. His chest twisted and his heart thumped. He still pinched himself when he woke up in the mornings. How did he get so lucky in this fucked world of destiny? If you weren’t meant for him, then who was?

You turn around pushing your back to his front. He holds you close as you both sway to the music as if it’s only you and him against the world. He smiles into your neck, kissing your delicate skin once in awhile. He spins you out from him and spins you back in quickly, your mind going dizzy.

“Hey careful,” you whine as you turn to him once again, “I’m drunk you know.”

“I thought you were a big girl,” he teases you and you narrow your eyes at him.

“Maybe not when I’m drunk,” you yell-whisper into his ear. He laughs, pulling you into a kiss. To any wondering eye, it would look as if you two were soulmates among other destined couples. Maybe that was the point? To fake it and then it becomes real?

Your heart swells at the thought. Jungkook studies your face intently, knowing that uttering his next words could be real dangerous but when you flash your gorgeous smile at him—he knows he has to say it.

“Wanna know a secret?” He asks.

“Sure.”

“I love you,” the words spill from his mouth. Your movements stop and you swear your drunkeness subsides momentarily.

“W-what?” You stutter. Did you hear him correctly?

“I know we’re drunk and this isn’t the best time but yeah,” he nods, “I love you Y/N.”

You head spins and you heart drops into your stomach. A smile creeps up onto your face.

“Really?” you ask, your eyes similar to those of a puppy. Jungkook nods, biting his lip. Will you say it back? “Thank fucking god, I thought I was the only one,” you say dramatically.

He furrows his eyebrows, chuckling, “Really?”

“Jeon Jungkook I fucking love you too,” you say, “I was waiting on you to say it.”

Once again he laughs, “Babe you can’t wait on stuff, you gotta go after what you want.”

“Well I already have you, don’t I?” You point out, “Come on, let’s go home.”

“Why? We’ve have one drink babe,” he says as you’re tugging on his hand.

“I know,” you look at him with a devilish smirk, “But I wanna fuck you and I’m not doing that in this bar.”

Jungkook’s face falls, blood rushing to his cock. “Fair enough.”

.

November is cold, which means December is going to be even colder. The days get shorter and your nights get longer as you try to prepare for finals in the next few weeks. Currently you’re bundled in two layers of clothing in the back of the library with Namjoon, adding the finishing touches on your final project that’s also due soon. Jungkook had to attend a seminar for one of his classes this evening which is why he’s MIA.

“Lucky shit,” Namjoon remarks when you explain your boyfriend’s absence. It was still strange to refer to him as your boyfriend.

“Would you honestly want to be lectured about how building muscles in the key to life right now?” You raise an eyebrow at him pointedly. Jungkook could even admit as a sports medicine major some of the people and things he learns about is absolute horseshit.

Namjoon laughs, “Touche.”

You’re working on the presentation aspect of you project while Namjoon is typing away at the research paper. As much as you despised the soulmate hoopla, reading about this stuff was very interesting. You had read how soulmates are apparently linked and of course, there is truly only one person meant for you. You rolled your eyes at these statements. If that was true, then why have you still not been given a name? There were so many questions that were just unanswerable that you couldn’t get over. Sure, the soulmate thing worked for some you couldn’t lie about that. At the end of the day though, perhaps you were one of the lucky ones—not bound by a name and given free reign over who is in the same spot as you.

“How’s everything going with you two by the way?” Namjoon asks curiously. His eyes haven’t left his computer screen so you oppose looking back at him when you answer.

“Good,” you smile slightly, “It’s still weird to think that we’re together,” you laugh at your statement.

He smiles to himself, “Weird for you? How about weird for me? I introduced the two of you being Jungkook is shy twat.”

“I know, I know,” you reach across the table and squeeze Namjoon’s hand playfully, “Which is why I’ve thanked you how many times now?”

“Yeah yeah, you only. Jungkook hasn’t given me his thanks yet.”

“I wouldn’t expect him too.”

“Trust me, I’m not,” he smiles with another stifled laugh as you two try to keep quiet. “So nothing’s really happened between you two?”

He’s referring to your project which you hastily agreed on letting yours and Jungkook’s “experience” to be first hand research.

You shake your head, “No. By the fifth time we had sex I was expecting to “feel excruciating pain deep within my chest as the universe tries to pull me away” him,” you quote one of the claims made by a well-known and well respected researcher. It was almost comical—how could anyone believe this stuff?

“Okay, TMI,” he puts his hands up.

“Hey this was your idea,” you remind him.

“It’s just wild to me,” he says, “I mean we grow up thinking there’s someone out there only meant for us and you and Jungkook… just don’t have one?” He looks off in the distance and you’re not sure if you should be offended by his statement—though Namjoon is a realist and he’s very logical so everything he’s saying is true.

“We have each other,” you shrug, “That’s good enough for me. I love him for who he is,” you almost feel heat coming to your face but you push it down.

“That’s how I feel about Kaya,” he almost smiles.

You look at him curiously—Namjoon hardly ever speaks of his soulmate. They’ve been together for a long time but she goes to university a couple hours from here so they don’t get to see each other as often as they would like.

“Can I see?” You whisper. He furrows his eyebrows, confused. “Your mark, I mean.”

Namjoon looks down at his left hand before nodding, opening his palm for you. In faint white writing, almost skin color—is the name Kaya in beautiful cursive. It makes your heart strings feel heavy for a moment. You knew you didn’t need a name to find love but you had always been curious about what it would be like to dawn one.

“Did it hurt? When it showed up?”

He shakes his head, “Not really, just kind like a little sting.”

“Why do you think I don’t have one? And Jungkook too?”

Your question catches him off guard. Honestly if anyone could answer this question, it was Park Jimin but he obviously wasn’t here. Namjoon was smart though—maybe he had good theories.

“I honestly don’t know,” he says softly, “I feel all the research of this stuff only applies for people who have one.”

You snort, “Right.”

“I mean you can never say never though,” he shakes his head, “Just because society has said before eighteen, that could be bullshit for all we know. You saw how in some of these articles, some names showed up in people’s early and mid-twenties too.”

“Yeah… and then what?”

“What do you mean?” He asks.

“It’s just seems so unfair that I can see Jungkook in my life after college and that could be taken away so easily. Or I could be taken away from him… it’s just so fucked don’t you think?” You don’t even realize how shaky your tone is, but Namjoon picks it up.

“Are you worried about that?”

Your mouth goes dry, “I like to think he’s the one for me,” you say after a few seconds of silence.

He bites his lip, unsure of what to say next, “Well maybe he is,” he offers trying to lighten your mood.

You look down at your hands, inspecting your wrist and fingers carefully. Your stomach churns at your next thought.

“And what if he isn’t?” You glance back to find his eyes staring holes into you.

“Then it wasn’t meant to be. I’d like to think the universe isn’t wrong.”

You nod slowly taking in his words. Sure you and Jungkook had been official for awhile now and you hoped that this feeling with him would never end. You liked to think the universe isn’t wrong either and maybe that’s why you and Jungkook found each other—cause it was meant to be.

Yours and Namjoon’s conversation stuck with you the rest of the evening. Jungkook had picked you up from the library in his black Mercedes around 8 PM. Even though it was a Wednesday, you and Jungkook had been staying at each other’s places more often than not. With your only roommate being away in Europe for study abroad, it was nice having him stay with you.

Jungkook noticed something was bothering you as he drove back to your place as you didn’t say much to him. You gripped his hand tightly in yours but the way your eyes didn’t meet his— it worried him. He became even more worried when you didn’t want to eat dinner after he had picked up your favorite takeout. It was his treat to you since he was unable to come to the library tonight.

“I’m just not that hungry,” you said pushing around the Chinese food with your chopsticks. You were both sat on your couch, your feet up in his lap watching some romantic-comedy TV show—Jungkook’s choosing—not yours.

“You’re always hungry,” he says poking at your leg to try to get a smile from you. Nothing. He furrows his eyebrows at you though you don’t even notice it as you’re looking away from him.

“What’s up babe?” Jungkook’s question takes you out of your thoughts. Were you that obvious?

“Hm?” You glance at him, trying to play your emotions off.

“You’re just being so… quiet?” He says softly, setting down his plate on the coffee table. He shifts his body to your frame, a hand holding up his head on the back of the couch.

“I don’t know,” you mumble, “Just have a lot on my mind.”

“Y/N you can tell me anything you know,” he rubs the back of your calves. The motion alone relaxes you significantly and you still don’t know how someone has this affect over you.

You pause, unsure if you should voice your worries to him. Would they cause problems between you two if you said what you were actually thinking? Was Namjoon right? “It’s just Namjoon and I were talking tonight and—“

“What did he say to you?” Jungkook quickly interrupts with a harsh tone. As much as Jungkook loved Namjoon like a brother—he was too brash and sometimes that lead to hurt feelings.

“It’s nothing he said it just got me thinking,” you shake your head aimlessly, looking behind Jungkook’s head at the wall.  He doesn’t say anything wanting you to continue. “Don’t you worry about the future?”

Jungkook purses his lips, thinking deeply about your question before answering honestly.

“Everyday,” he says, “But I like to live for now, in the present… why are you asking?”

“What are we supposed to do if we’re separated, huh?” The words tumble from your mouth, your tone not the sweetest. You tense up in Jungkook’s hands and he notices your demeanor quickly changing.

“Why are you saying that Y/N?” His voice is confused and heavy.

“Because I fucking love you Jungkook and I don’t want you taken away from me, that’s why,” you let out a deep breath, pushing yourself up and off the couch. Jungkook watches you as you stand up and walk towards the kitchen. You’re clearly distressed about something. Slowly, he rises to his feet sauntering over to your frame that’s staring down at the sink.

“Y/N,” his voice is low behind you. Your knuckles are nearly white from gripping the side of the counter so hard. You felt tears pricking in your eyes that you had to force away. Jungkook wraps his arms around your front and you lean back into his frame.

He rests his head on your shoulder, “Baby I get it, okay? I know it’s scary not knowing what the hell is wrong with people like us—“

“That’s the problem Jungkook,” you say, “There’s something wrong with us and it’s fucked up. How do we know that this, us, is okay?”

“Listen I know you don’t believe in destiny and all that stuff but,” he pauses nuzzling into your neck, “But I do and I feel like if this, us—isn’t meant to be, then what is?”

You lean your head on his before you reluctantly turn your body around, your hands sliding behind his torso.

“How are you so sure?” You mutter meeting his gaze. His eyes are worried for you but still deep down, they have a light and wonder you’ve never fully understood.

He gives you a tiny smile, brushing his nose against yours, “Because I love you, okay? Like I’ve never loved anyone more before, I promise you, we’ll be fine. You will be fine.”

The weight from your shoulders is lifted as Jungkook’s words reassure you. He had such a hopeless romantic complex about him, you were sure he knew everything right to say to make you feel better. He was right—the odds of you two being this late in the game and meeting can’t be coincidental. He was yours and you were his—that’s all that mattered.

“Are you good now?” He raises his eyebrows at you and you nod against his forehead, leaning forward to peck his lips.

“Much better,” you then say. Jungkook chases his mouth with yours again before pulling away after a brief kiss.

“Good because I had something important to ask you anyways,” he says giving you some space.

Your eyes bulge, a worried look instantly spreading on your features, “You’re not asking me to marry you, are you? After what we just—“

He shakes his head with a laugh, “No, not right now at least,” he continues to laugh and your heart lurches at the thought. “But I was gonna ask if you wanted to come to Busan with me, for Christmas?”

You are taken aback by his question, your mouth parting unsure of what to say.

“Like go home with you?” He nods at your question, “And meet your family?” He nods again.

“I know we haven’t been together that long but I’d figure I would offer,” he shrugs.

“Do your parents know about us?”

“I mentioned someone to them on the phone the other day.”

“Do they know the full situation?” you ponder. You two weren’t soulmates and meeting parents was a huge step.

“No,” he says, “But that doesn’t mean we can’t fake it,” a smirk spreads on his lips.

“Jungkook, I don’t know if that’s the best idea.”

“None of my ideas are the best ideas let’s be real,” he chuckles, “And I’m not saying you have to go, but if you want to the offer is there.”

You bite your lip as your eyes meet. The stove light was shining on his face so his small scar was prominent. It would be nice you suppose, meeting his brother who gave him that scar and his parents too. You had never met any of your significant other’s parents—Jungkook really must believe in you two then.

“I’ll think about it,” you smile up at him, squeezing your arms tightly around his frame. He nods before leaning down, kissing you once again gently. Your night ends with you finally eating your food and Jungkook in your bed making you feel better than anyone ever has. It was perfect.

WINTER

“And how, may I ask,” your professor’s voice is the first to ask a question when you are done speaking, “Did the three of you manage to maintain data regarding the intimacy of two people whose souls are not bound yet?”

Your eyes flicker over to Namjoon and Jungkook. You’re about to respond but Namjoon beats you to it.

“Professor Jung, we know it can seem like we made up part of our research but,” he pauses, “But we trust the individuals who relayed us this information in the past three months and out of respect for them… we ask for you not to probe too much.”

Your professor’s eyebrows raise at Namjoon’s comment. His eyes flicker between the three of you, unable to decipher Namjoon’s passive aggressiveness. You were thankful he decided to answer the question, because you’re sure that you would have been too nice about it. Why can’t this jackass just take the information you are presenting and shove it up his ass?  

“I see,” he breathes in deeply, “It just seems very hard for me to wrap my head around the argument that you’ve presented, when there’s so much research saying the opposite. The effects of intimacy is sacred for soul bonded people. Horrible illnesses and other things can happen to these people that go against nature.”

“It does seem that way professor,” you chime in, “But perhaps it’s time for new, more in-depth research to be done on this subject. These independent relationships may not work for everyone but in this case—it has.”

He chews on the end of his pen, “I agree wholeheartedly and though I still have my doubts about your research, I cannot deny the three of you have presented me with a topic that no one ever has before. The psychology behind soul-binding, sex, and relationships is amazing and endless… and isn’t the point of life to ask questions?” He seems to have lost somewhat focus on the three of you. What an idiot.  

“Exactly,” Jungkook nods sending you a quick wink. You chew on your bottom lip to avoid from grinning. “As they say, we learn something new everyday.”

“That you are correct Mr. Jeon,” he say points to your boyfriend. “Well, I think you three have presented a wonderful project and I look forward to reading your research paper for further depth. Expect a grade by the end of the week. Thank you, it was… mostly a pleasure having you in my class,” his eyes glance at you briefly and it takes all of you not to launch at him over his stupidly expensive desk.

“Thank you professor. Have a good winter break,” Namjoon smiles. The three of you leave the small conference room attached to his office. Thankfully, you did not have to present your project in front of the entire class.

You let out a groan of relief when the cold winter air welcomes you outside. “Thank god that’s over!” You smile up at the sky.

Jungkook throws an arm around your shoulder to pull you in close, “What grade do you think we’ll get hyung?” He smiles at Namjoon who is digging around for his phone.

“Hopefully an A. With the bullshit you were feeding him? I think he loved it, he was just being a hardass because of Y/N,” he motions to you.

You’re mouth falls open, “Hey! It’s not my fault he doesn’t like me! He’s a raging psychotic sexist,” you huff crossing your arms over you.

“Uh huh,” Namjoon hums, “First day straggler.”

You narrow your eyes at him before Jungkook nudges you, “C’mon I’m freezing, let’s go home,” he whines and you give him a small nod.  

“I’ll see you after break?” You ask the dimpled man in front of you.

He smiles, “Yeah for sure. But I gotta go—I have a plane to catch later tonight.”

“Where are you going?” This is even news to Jungkook.

“Oh, Kaya and I are going to Europe for two weeks, should be fun,” he looks down at his phone, “Oh shit, yeah I gotta go, Merry Christmas!” He waves at you two before running off in the opposite direction to the bus stop.

“Europe? I wanna go to Europe,” you pout looking up at Jungkook. He gives you a peck on the lips, your pout irrespective.

“We’ll go one day. It’s fun,” he says as you two begin to walk towards the student parking lot.

“You’ve been?”

“A few countries there, yeah,” he nods intertwining your fingers. Jeez, the amount of things and places Jungkook has been in his 22 years made your life look boring as hell. “Like I said, we’ll go—I promise,” is the last thing he says before you two get into his car.

The car ride is mostly a comfortable silence on the way to your place. His hand rests on your thigh, holding you tighter whenever he takes a turn.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with me?” Jungkook asks suddenly getting your attention.

“It’s not that I don’t want to Jungkook,” you say, “It’s just Taehyung said he was going to be here by himself all break and when he asked, I felt bad.”

He pouts giving you a glance, “I know but I’ll be lonelyyy,” he drags out.

“You have your whole family babe,” you laugh at his childish demeanor.

“Yeah but I’m not exactly into cuddling my brother when I go to sleep,” he mutters and you swat his arm. “And you’re telling me I have to go two weeks without having sex?!”

“Jungkook,” you roll your eyes with a laugh, “You’re starting to sound like Professor Jung with your concerns about sex.”

“Duh,” he says, “Why do you think I liked him so much?”

“I hate you,” you deadpan and you gives you a shit-eating grin.

“I love you too.”

.

The next couple days Jungkook stays at your place completely, not wanting to leave your side before he has to go to Busan for two weeks. He was very disappointed that you didn’t want to go to Busan with him, but he knew Taehyung was your best friend and you were bound to do anything for him.

“I can’t believe you’re trusting me with your car,” you say pulling into the train station parking garage. His Mercedes was a low-ground sports car, complete with a V8 engine and custom leather seats. You were still blown away that Jungkook had this car in college. You assumed that his parents must have money because you didn’t know how else to explain it.

Jungkook was nervous watching you drive his baby. When you would press on the gas or the breaks a little too hard he could felt his heart stop for a second.

“Yeah just please be careful,” he pleads as you park perfectly. You put his car in park and turn to him.

“Don’t you trust me?” You blink your lashes at him. He smirks adjusting the beanie on his head.

“I do,” he says, “Mostly.”

“Let’s make a deal Jeon,” you suggest as you help him unload his bags from the trunk. Jungkook was like a woman bringing two full suitcases and a duffle bag with him for a two week trip.

“Shoot babe,” he says.

“If nothing happens to your car in these two weeks—which it won’t—you can treat me for being a good girl,” you smirk up at him and he visibly gulps, rolling his tongue in his cheek. He thought your morning sex would have been enough but he wonder’s if he should take you into a bathroom at the train station and fuck your brains out again before he leaves.

“Deal,” he manages to choke out, going against his previous thought. Goddamn he was so in love with you he wasn’t sure he could make it without you for two weeks. In the five months you have known each other this was going to be longest time spent apart.

As you approach the ticket counter for Jungkook to check in, you start to feel a sadness settling in your heart and stomach. You felt like you were being dramatic about not seeing Jungkook for two weeks but he had become such an important role in your happiness—it was going to be weird not seeing him everyday. He truly was your other half.

“Alright I gotta head to my platform,” Jungkook says giving you a weak smile. “Thanks for driving me here.”

You try your best to muster up a smile, “No problem.”

He quickly pulls you in for a hug, encasing your frame around his tightly. You inhale his scent deeply so you won’t forget it in the next couple weeks.

“Don’t miss me too much,” he mumbles into your ear.

You pull your head out of his chest, “As long as you don’t miss me too much.”

God you two were disgusting.

He smiles leaning down a for kiss, you close the gap between you two. You only kiss for a moment not wanting to catch any unwanted attention.

“I love you,” you smile at him.

“I love you too,” he says, suddenly reaching into the deep pocket of his large sweatshirt. “Here,” he hands over a tiny box wrapped in Christmas paper and an envelope taped to the bottom of it.

“Jungkook,” you look at him and then the present, “We said we weren’t going to give each other presents.”

“I know but I couldn’t resist. I just thought of you when I saw it.”

“Thank you,” your heart flutters and you give him one last peck before he has to leave.  

“Merry Christmas,” he says, “I’ll let you know when I arrive.”

“Merry Christmas Jungkook.”

A brief walk back to Jungkook’s car has your heart in shambles. As you watched him leave for his platform, you couldn’t help but think you should have went with him. Taehyung would have understood—but that also meant meeting his parents and you weren’t sure that was a good idea just yet.

You settled into the driver seat of his car, carefully tearing the wrapping from the small box. Your eyes widen when you open it, a baby teal box revealing a beautiful ring on the inside. A gold band shines in the light, a small circular diamond in the middle shines even brighter.

“Holy shit,” you breathe out, quickly ripping open the envelope that he also gave you. It contained a cheesy Christmas card, his handwriting scribbling—

Merry Christmas Y/N. You’ve changed my life in more ways than one. I’m just one call away and I’ll always be here for you.

Cheesy I know—but you know cheesy is my middle name.

I love you.

Jungkook

.

“Jesus Christ Y/N!” Taehyung exclaims when you show him your new accessory on your hand. “This must have been thousands of dollars,” he grabs your hand to inspect the jewelry. “Tiffany too? What kind of money is Jungkook’s parent’s shitting out for him to give you this?”

“Hey now, he does well with his photography,” you pinch in, noting that he began selling pieces after much consideration.

“I know I know but damn,” he moves your hand around to see the light catching in the diamond. “When did he give you this?”

“The other day when I dropped him off at the train station.”

“Wow… I think you’ve won in the boyfriend category Y/N,” his eyes still haven’t left your finger and you know it’s the alcohol in his system that is keeping him mesmerized.

“It’s not a competition dumbass,” you spew at him.

“What did you get him? An amazing blowjob topped with a new lens for his cameras?”

You laugh at Taehyung’s words, “I’m more mad at the fact the he even bought it, we said we weren’t going to give each other gifts.”

“Well shit Y/N he basically proposed to you—that’s not a gift, is it?” His glassy, wine drunk eyes look at you curiously.

You pull your hand away from him, laying back down against your couch.

“Tae,” you mutter, feeling slightly tipsy yourself, “Do you think Jungkook and I will last?”

Taehyung leans back beside you, exhaling a deep breathe heavily. He doesn’t say anything for a few moments. The silence isn’t uncomfortable but it makes you nervous.

“Yeah,” he says, his eyes looking straight ahead, his tone real and understanding. Taehyung couldn’t voice it—no matter how much he wanted to over the months of you relationship with Jungkook—but he knew what you were going through in more ways than one.

“Really?” You look at him, nuzzling your head into his outstretched arm. He looks down at you before nodding.

“If you two want it to work… it will,” his voice deep and serious.

“How do you know that though?” You mutter, your tone down and pessimistic.

He breathes in deeply, “I just do… I know you two love each other. Anyone can see it Y/N. Don’t doubt anything unless you’ve been given a reason to doubt.”

Taehyung was always more philosophical when he was drinking and this proves that even more.

“Trust me,” his deep voice adds when you don’t say anything immediately .

“What would I do without you?” You finally muster looking up at him.

He smirks, “Lose your mind, that’s what.”

“Give me more credit than that asshole,” you push against his torso.

He laughs before responds with, “Hell no.”

“Well, should we open up our presents?” You give him a small smile glancing at the gifts that were lazily strewn on the floor. Your miniature Christmas tree was slightly pathetic—but it was better than nothing you suppose.

“Sure, but don’t expect another item from Tiffany alright?” He muses as he stands up to grab his gifts for you.

“Fuck off,” you laugh reaching your hands out as he places a bag and a box wrapped in front of you. You were sure Jimin wrapped these given how perfect they were.

“You first,” he gives you a warm smile. You dig into the bag first as it is less to unwrap. Your mouth drops open when you pull out a box of condoms, Taehyung stifling a laugh behind his smile.

“Taehyung are you kidding me?” You’re trying hard not to laugh either. He fucking would.

“Ultra thin… thought they would come in handy since, you know, you two fuck like bunnies,” he sends over a wink and you’re quick to flip him off. You open his next present which happens to be a coat you’ve been eyeing for the past few weeks, but hesitant to buy due to the $300 price tag.

“Tae, you didn’t have to get me this,” you marvel at the thick material, the baby blue color just the one you wanted. “This is too expensive—“

“Babe it’s fine,” he shakes his head, “I know you need some help with our wardrobe so I’m only offering my services,” he says matter of factly.

You move the box away from you and throw your arms around his neck. He hugs you tightly and in this moment you realize how happy your are. You perhaps have the best boyfriend and best friend of anyone you know. You didn’t think anything would change that.

“Here,” you pass Taehyung over your present and he quickly rips the paper off. He looks like a little kid on Christmas morning and you decide to pour more wine as he fidgets with the box.

“Shit Y/N!” He smiles widely, “Holy shit you didn’t have to get me this,” he takes his gift out of the box. He smiles widely at the leather bag you got him. Not a cheap price tag either—but it was Taehyung’s favorite bag and his old one was not cutting it anymore.

“It’s fine,” you shake your head, gulping down your white wine quickly. You two were quite drunk at this point.

“Jeez,” he shakes his head pulling you into another bone crushing hug, “Fuck Jimin and Jungkook. Let’s just get married, you and me kid.”

You laugh at his words, “Trust me, if you were straight I would take you up on that.”

The rest of your evening is spent with watching “How the Grinch Stole Christmas,” more wine, and endless laughter with your best friend.

.

It’s about 5 AM when you wake up in your bed with a busting headache and a stomach ache that has you doubled over on your toilet. Fuck, did you really drink that much? Your question is answered when everything in your stomach is coming up through your esophagus. You don’t know how long you sit on your knees, hands on the toilet throwing up your guts.

“Y/N?” Taehyung appears at your bathroom door rubbing his eyes, “Whoa, are you okay?” He quickly comes down behind you, holding your hair back and away from your face.

Finally after what seems like forever, you stop throwing up, resting your head on the porcelain.

“Yeah,” you groan, your throat raw and sore, “I guess I just drank too much.”

“Shit, do you need anything?” He asks, voice laced with concern.

“Just some water please,” you tell him and he leaves to quickly get you a glass. “Fuck,” you mutter to yourself. You’re not sure the last time you were this hungover was. You knew you needed water and sleep—maybe that would alleviate the pain in your head and stomach.

You get back into bed a few moments later with Taehyung laying down beside you. He gives you your space and before you know it, both of you fall back to sleep.

You wake up again around 10 AM, your headache still busting but your stomach more settled now. You’re sipping tea watching another Christmas movie with Taehyung when your phone rings. A smile stretches on your face when you see Jungkook’s name pop up.

“Hey,” you answer the phone, sitting up from your position on the couch.

“Hey babe,” his voice brings comfort to your ears, “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” you say, “Did you have a good morning?”

Jungkook hesitates over the line before speaks again, “Uh, yeah… what about you?”

You furrow your eyebrows at his tone. He sounds… distant and unconfident with his words.

“I mean I’ve been better,” you laugh, watching Taehyung glance at you quickly.

“What’s wrong?” He asks.

“Well I’m just really hungover, Taehyung really did a number on me with the wine last night,” you laugh again trying to ease whatever tension Jungkook is holding through the phone.

He chuckles nervously for a moment over the phone, “Well drink some water and rest okay?”

“I know, I’m gonna take it easy for the rest of the day,” you look at your nails that desperately need to be manicured.

“Yeah good,” is all he says and you purse your lips. Normally Jungkook is so talkative over the phone—what’s up with him?

“Babe are you okay?” You ask him with genuine concern. You would hate for him to be going through something and him not tell you. Taehyung gives you a weird look and you shrug your shoulders.

“Yeah,” he clears his throat, “I’m just tired from all the Christmas hoopla I’ve had to do the past few days,” he says seeming to explain his demeanor, “But I’m gonna call you later okay? I’ve got a Christmas brunch to get ready for but I just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas.”

You smile at his words, “Alright, have fun. I’ll talk to you later. Hurry home. I love you.”

“I’ll try I promise,” you can sense a small smile in his voice, “I love you too.” So much.

You stay sick for the next three days. Your body aches, your head hurts, and you’re still throwing up occasionally therefore you’ve barely had anything to eat the past three days. You and Taehyung are afraid you’ve picked up a small flu from someone. Despite this, Taehyung stays with you, not wanting to leave you alone sick like this.

Jimin gets back from home a couple days after you’ve fallen ill. Jimin being a medical guy himself, is unsure of what or who could have gotten you sick.

“As long as you don’t get and maintain a fever, I think you should be fine,” he says watching your frame on your couch. You had not felt this sick in so long and of course it had to be right before Jungkook got back home too.

“Should Jungkook come around her? He gets back when, tomorrow?” Taehyung asks you.

You nod, “Yeah, tomorrow evening,” you manage to say through your sore throat that feels like it’s actually on fire.

“I don’t think you’re contagious otherwise he would be sick too,” he motions to Taehyung, “He should be fine,” his voice is low and steady. His eyes don’t leave your frame though you’re too tired to notice Jimin’s intense stare.

You push yourself off of the couch, wanting to get some sleep in your bed. “I’m gonna take a nap, you guys don’t have to stay here if you don’t want to.”

Taehyung and Jimin exchange a glance before nodding, “We can get some food and bring some back for you later?”

“That would be great Tae,” you smile at him, “Thanks guys.”

Jimin and Taehyung leave your apartment, locking the door behind them with Taehyung’s spare key.

“Do you think she’s really okay? I’ve never seen her like this,” Taehyung mumbles to Jimin as he pulls up directions to the nearest ramen restaurant near them.

Jimin’s throat goes dry and he hesitates, biting his lip, “Honestly, I think we’ll just have to see.”

Jimin’s words are uneasy in Taehyung’s mind—both of them equally worried for you.

. You are jumping out of the shower when you get a text from Jungkook.

[Jungkook ♥ 6:58 PM] I’m about an hour away. Can’t wait to see you.

You smile at his text, heart fluttering at the thought of seeing him again. Today you woke up feeling a lot better—still not 100%—but you could actually stomach food today. Despite your illness, you didn’t really care at this point. You could wait to see Jungkook—you missed him so much more than you thought you would have.

[You 7:00 PM] Perfect. I’ll see you soon ♥

[Jungkook ♥ 7:02 PM] ♥

The train station is more crowded than it was went you sent Jungkook off. The masses of being returning from their holiday was immense and you were afriad you weren’t going to be able to find Jungkook through the masses.

Little to your knowledge, Jungkook had spotted you after he exited his platform—a beautiful baby blue coat hanging off of your frame—signaling where you stood. After not seeing your face for two weeks, he smiled to himself. You were so fucking beautiful to him and he loved you so much—it only made his heart hurt even more.

He hesitates walking towards your back that’s facing him. He takes in a deep breath before he wraps his arms around your front. You jump in his arms and turn around with the smile that makes his day. Today—it only breaks him even further.

“Jungkook,” you turn around and hug him tightly. Finally—he was home. He doesn’t say anything as he returns your hug, kissing you on the top of the head. He glances down at his arms, pulling his jacket sleeve down, making sure his watch wasn’t going anywhere.

After all, he was desperate to hide the name that was inked on his wrist that wasn’t yours.

.

JUNGKOOK

Christmas Eve—Busan

Jungkook’s tie is too tight around his neck. He swore to his mother that it was fine but her being as stubborn as she was, made sure to secure it so that not even she could move it. He pulls at his collar and his older brother, Junghyun laughs at him.

“You look like a little kid, pulling and tugging at that you know,” Junghyun eyes Jungkook and he rolls his eyes.

“It’s suffocating hyung—I’m not drunk enough for this bullshit,” Jungkook responds with a laugh.

It was their annual Christmas Eve party held by their father’s company and it was just as stuffy and rich as Jungkook remembers. Jungkook and his brother didn’t speak much about their wealth. They had both grown up with more money, toys, clothes, shoes, and vacations that they ever needed. They never once complained as they both know how incredibly lucky they were to have already lived 5 lives before turning 30. They did however, understand how tiring this lifestyle was.

Perhaps it is why neither Jungkook or Junghyun pursued business as a major—neither one wanted to have this much to handle on their plate. Thankfully, despite most of the people that associated with the Jeon family—their mother and father were humble and respected their sons’ decisions to make their own path. If it were up to their mother though, should would have her sons closer to Busan than so far away.

“Well, the night is still young,” his brother speaks again, handing Jungkook a glass of champagne.

“There you two are,” Yeri—Junghyun’s soulmate and partner appears from what seems to be out of thin air. “Hi my love,” she smiles up at Junghyun as he pulls her closer to his hip. “Jungkook, how are you?”  

“Pretty good, my tie is too tight,” he pouts.  

Yeri observes Jungkook, “I think it looks good?” She looks back up at his brother and he nods in agreement.

“I know, he’s just a baby,”  he remarks and Jungkook rolls his eyes.  

“Anyways, your mother is looking for you two—we’re about to eat dinner,” she informs and both of the brother’s nod.  

Jungkook follows closely behind them, weaving in and out of people to get to their designated table. Jungkook only recognizes a handful of people he passes even though they know exactly who he is. They find their table, their parents already seated and ready for dinner.

Jungkook smiles when he sees his mother, bending down to hug her.

“Hello Jungkook, Junghyun,” she greets her sons, “Yeri, please sit!”

He takes a seat right of his mom, Junghyun and Yeri to his left. His father is busy speaking with a business partner at the table to pay much attention to them. Jungkook grew up used to that though—his father always overworking himself, barely getting home before they had to go to bed. Despite this, he was still a great father in Jungkook’s eyes, providing and making them laugh every chance he got.

“What’s for dinner, Mrs. Jeon?” Yeri asks. Jungkook’s mother loved Yeri the moment she set her eyes on her all those years ago and nothing has changed.

“Oh, we’re having a little bit of everything—bulgogi, samgyeopsal, jajangmyeon, kimchi. I hope it’s good, we had to get a new caterer this year,” a sudden worry falls over he face but she quickly brushes it away.

“Perfect, I’m starved,” Jungkook mumbles, once again, mindlessly tugging at his collar. Jungkook’s mom swats his hand away.

“Quit it, you’re fine,” she scolds him and he settles in his seat, picking up his newly poured glass of red wine. It was true—he was starved and if he didn’t get food in his system quickly, he would probably become tipsy from a singular glass of champagne and wine.

The food arrives at each table in an orderly fashion as everyone finally takes their seats. A few words of thanks are spoken before everyone digs in, placing various meats on the grills in front of them. Commotion and chatter quickly fill the large hall. Jungkook is busy stuffing his mouth with noodles when suddenly his name is spoken across the table.

“Jungkook,” his father addresses him. He swallows his food quickly before raising an eyebrow in response. “You remember Mr. Kim, Seokjin’s father?”

The mention of Seokjin brings a wash of memories over Jungkook’s brain. He was an older kid that him and Junghyun used to play around with growing up.

“Yes, of course,” Jungkook slightly smiles to the elder.

“I can’t believe you’re almost done with university,” Mr. Kim compliments Jungkook, “What are you majoring in again?”

“Sports medicine,” Jungkook says feeling slightly intimidated by his stare. Suddenly Mr. Kim’s eyes glance down to Jungkook’s hand and he suddenly feels self conscious about his the ink colored on his fingers. He quickly retracts his hand under the table before he speaks again.

“Well that’s really good to hear,” he smiles warmly again, “Are you planning on furthering your education past undergrad?”

“Yes sir,” he nods, “I plan to pursue a sports physician or therapist within the next few years.”

He looks over at Jungkook’s father, “I don’t think your sons could be any more opposite than you and I,” he laughs and Jungkook’s father nods with a small smile.

“As long as they’re happy, that’s all that matters,” his father says. Jungkook glances at Junghyun, hoping he was paying some attention to the conversation so Jungkook could continue eating. He wasn’t.

“Yes I see,” Mr. Kim nods, “They will do good for themselves and their partners, I’m sure of it.”

The mention of the word partner gets Jungkook’s mother’s attention.

“Oh yes, Junghyun and Yeri have recently leased a house in Seoul,” she smiles proudly at her eldest. It was true—Junghyun was a practicing lawyer and Yeri was a court reporter so they were doing pretty well off even though they haven’t reached 30 yet.

“If only they could hurry up and get married,” she then adds with a laugh. Junghyun looks over and he grimaces, though no ill intent by the stare.

“Mom, we’ve told you. We’re settling our house and finances for another year or so, then we are,” he responds swiftly.

“Well, then it seems like Jungkook is due next,” Mr. Kim adds into the mix. Suddenly, Jungkook tenses up and his face falls. Oh how he wish you were here right now so he wasn’t alone in this.

“Well Jungkook does have a partner, right?” His mom looks over at him. Jungkook had mentioned you to his mom and dad but that was it—so this is news for Junghyun and Yeri who were carefully listening to his words. Jungkook was 22 after all—the clock was ticking.

“Yes mom,” he nods, “I invited her to Busan with me for the holidays but she decided to stay back home,” he explains.

“Ah, that’s too bad, we would have loved to meet her,” Mr. Kim says, “Next time though?’

Jungkook nods, a small smile present, “Next time.”

The conversation thankfully dies after that. As much as Jungkook wanted to talk about you—he was so hesitant for well, obvious reasons. His mom had the most questions about you and he answered all of them to her liking. She seemed to think their souls were bonded and wasn’t that the point he was trying to make? He wanted his mom to love you like he did and he was confident she would by the way her eyes lit up when he spoke about you.

“She seems lovely Jungkook,” she says, “And you just met her this year? After all this time?”

After all this time—yeah right. “Yeah, we had a class together.”

“Well I for one cannot wait to meet her,” she smiles taking a sip of her wine, “You should invite her again when you two graduate, you know we have to have a party to celebrate.”

Jungkook’s mouth goes dry but he nods quickly, just wanting to focus on the dessert that was being place in front of him.

“She would love that,” is all he says before he digs into his cheesecake. After a few glasses of wine, Jungkook had felt himself become a little tipsy and he knew he needed to slow down if he wanted to enjoy Christmas morning.

After he finishes his sweet treat, he excuses himself to get some water. As much as he hates these kinds of things, he wishes he had his camera to capture some memories—even though it was his first Christmas with you despite being separated by hundreds of kilometers.

He reaches the beverage table, quickly asking for a glass of water when suddenly he feels a tap on his shoulder.

“Excuse me?” A girls voice asks, “Would you mind getting me a glass of Chardonnay?”

He glances at the girl before nodding, asking for a glass to hand to her. The server hands Jungkook a wine glass and he turns around to see the girl for the first time. He’s slightly taken aback from her beauty. She’s got warm brown hair that flows down her chest, welcoming eyes, and a smile that he swears sparkled in the light.

“Thank you,” her eyes met his and he feels his chest tightening the longer he looks at her. As much as he wants to look away—he physically is unable. She seems to feel the same because he doesn’t know how much time has passed of them staring at each other before someone calls out to her.

She glances to her right, raising her glass as another thanks before walking away from Jungkook. His eyes follow her as her back turns to him. She’s wearing a simple purple dress with sleeves and heels that make her legs look long and lean.

He shakes his head out of his trance-like state, what the fuck? He takes another gulp of his water—it has to be alcohol getting to him. He’s about to head back to his parent’s table when he suddenly feels an itching on the inside of his left wrist. He scratches his skin harshly and he winces when it’s more painful than a normal scratch.

He glances down at his sleeve, pulling the material back to see what was so painful. He does a double take when he moves his watch, noticing harsh red lines forming on skin. The fuck, he thinks to himself. Jungkook makes the decision to excuse himself to the men’s room to cool the burning off with some water.

Thankfully he’s the only person occupying the room and he quickly turns on the water, running his skin underneath it. The burning subsides after a few moments and as he’s reaching for a towel to dry himself, he drops it to the floor before he can even use it.

While the red marks have gone away, a thin black line has replaced them.

Rose.

He blinks heavily, shaking his head. Is he really that drunk? He takes his nail to scratch at the black and when it doesn’t move, his mouth parts and the tie around his neck feels even more constricting.

“No,” he whispers to himself.

Rose.

It’s still there.

“No, no, no,” he mumbles, “Fuck,” his breathing picks up heavily and he looks at himself in the mirror. His face is pale and his eyes are blown out. Fuck.

Rose.

He moves his watch back over the marking and runs a hand through his hair, pulling on the ends harder than he should. He almost feels tears threatening to fall when he realizes what’s happening. This has to be a sick joke? The universe cannot be doing this—not right now—not after all this fucking time?

As much as his mind is racing, drunk and confusion do not make a good combination, he sees one thing for sure in the back of his brain. You. As this thought, his stomach churns deeply and before he realizes it—he’s spitting up some of his food and alcohol into the toilet.

“Fuck,” he says again wiping the perspiration away from his clammy hands onto his pants. He takes in a deep breath, freshening himself up before he leaves the bathroom with the mission to find one person and one person only.

Once he comes back into the main room, his eyes glance around quickly for a head of silky brown hair and a purple dress. His head looks around rapidly and anyone who saw him probably thought that he looked crazy. He spots Junghyun and Yeri getting another drink at the bar and he swiftly walks over towards them.

“Hyung,” Jungkook speaks quickly, shaking his brother’s shoulder.

“Huh? Jungkook, you okay?” His brother notices how ill Jungkook looks. Face pale, hair messily pushed around, uneasiness in his large eyes.

“Have you seen a girl,” he pauses trying to slow down, “Purple dress, kind of ashy brown hair to here,” he demonstrates the length with his hands. Junghyun looks at Jungkook like he’s crazy. Hell, maybe Jungkook is going crazy.

Junghyun shakes his head, “No I haven’t. What’s up?”

“I may have seen a purple dress going that way,” Yeri points her finger towards the other side of the large room. “Jungkook are you sure you’re okay?”

He doesn’t even give them one more glance before he thanks Yeri quickly, turning on his heels to head that direction. He nearly trips on his feet trying to get across the masses of people congregating. The ballroom has a couple hallways that lead off into other rooms and he decides his luck, checking in and out of the rooms. He’s coming up empty until he stops dead in his tracks, a back clad in purple facing him, talking to another man with blonde hair.

Suddenly, the blonde looks at Jungkook from over her shoulder and she follows. Her eyes meet Jungkook’s and he fills his breath hitching, his stomaching rolling once again.

“Hello?” The blonde asks curiously.

“Hi,” Jungkook steps forward. His hands are buried deep in his dress pants so they can’t see the way they shake with every breath.

“Yoongi, will you get me another drink please?” The girl speaks looking back at the man. He nods, settling not to say anything else as he brushes past Jungkook.

The girl stands awkwardly, her finger rimming an empty wine glass slowly. Jungkook can barely look at her but something is compelling him to. He can’t take his eyes off of her—she’s beautiful. He slowly walks towards her with some hesitation. She finally meets his eyes again and she visibly breathes in deep through her nose, her chest rising.

“Hi,” Jungkook says again.

“Hi,” she says with a low tone. She bites her lip nervously and she suddenly looks around the room—anywhere but him. “This place is really beautiful isn’t it?”

Jungkook follows her lead, eyes glancing around the room too, “Yeah, it is.”

“Your parents know how to put on a party,” she muses with a small laugh. Goddamn, he thinks, she is so beautiful. So, she knows exactly who he is.

“This is nothing compared to some other years,” he gently smiles when her lips turn up, her cheeks getting bigger with her own smile.

A silence falls between the two of them. She sways in her heels trying to relieve the pain in the balls of her feet.

“It’s you isn’t it,” Jungkook speaks first. She looks up at him, still saying silent. “You’re Rose?”

She dips her head, some of her hair falling in her face. She nods slowly, “I can’t believe you’re here,” she whispers and she almost sounds sad, perhaps broken? “After all this time,” she adds.

She looks at Jungkook like he’s her whole universe. Oh how he wishes he could say the same thing about her—it’s what this beautiful girl deserves. She deserves someone whose heart beats for them and them only. That wasn’t Jungkook—he had you and god how much he wanted to spend his life with you only.

“When did you find out?” He asks keeping his voice low and steady so his nervousness won’t show through.

“When I was fourteen,” she says. His heart sinks even further for this girl. His name had been engraved upon her skin for 8 years.

He doesn’t say anything else, opting to look down at his feet. The tension is there—the tension the universe gives soul bonded people. He feels his tie suffocating him again and he reaches up to loosen it again, to no relief though.

Suddenly, Rose steps forward, grabbing Jungkook’s hand to move it away from his collar.

“Let me help,” she says and he swears his heart stops beating when her delicate fingers touch his. Rose manages to undo his impossibly tight neck tie from his mother, retying it just as fast, but a lot more comfortable for him and his neck. Suddenly, Jungkook is glad you were unable to come to Busan with him.

“Thanks,” he laughs, “It’s been suffocating me all night.”

“I could tell,” she returns a chuckle, her palms resting on his chest. She’s just as nervous as he is—he can see the way she breathes unevenly being this close to her.

“I’m Jungkook,” he says.

“Rose.”  

.

“Did you have a good Christmas?” You ask Jungkook as you step into his apartment. If possible, Jungkook came back with thrice as much stuff as he left with and you wanted to help him unpack.  

“Pretty good,” he says simply, “I think my parents were disappointed you weren’t there,” he chuckles lightly. Jungkook’s roommates were still back home, not coming back until the new year, so you were going to stay with him to keep him company.

“Well, one day I’ll meet them,” your eyes search for his and he seems somewhat off. He hasn’t said much since you’ve picked him up from the train station. His eyes have looked a little lost, unsure of where to look.

“Yeah,” he shrugs off his coat and begins to unzip one of his 3 suitcases. You unzip a second, noticing how different his clothes smell.

“I see your mom did your laundry?” You quirk an eyebrow at him. He glances at you briefly, a small smile playing on his lips.

“Of course, what kind of son would I be if I didn’t bring all my laundry for my mom to do?”

Small conversation is said between the two of you as you unpack, fold, and hang up his clothes. You can’t help but notice the luxury men’s wear tags in the pants and shirts you hang up.

“What do your parents do Jungkook?” Your thumb brushes over the thick material of a new coat he received as a gift.

He’s hesitant to speak but he decides to tell you anyways, “My dad is president of a large company back in Busan. You know my mom is an artist,” he says and you recall the days he’s spoke highly of his creative mother.

Ah, you think, now you understand where the wealth comes from.

“I don’t like telling people because I don’t want people to think I’m some spoiled snob,” he laughs at the thought.

“Babe, you’re the farthest thing from that. You know work hard for things you want, what does it matter what anyone else thinks,” you hang the last piece of clothing from his suitcase up and he watches you intently.

He leans against his desk, arms crossed as he watches you carefully.

“Wanna see something I got,” he says clearing his throat as you look him in the eyes. His eyes quickly look away from yours, unable to face you fully just yet. You nod when you notice his eyes light up as he rummages through his duffle bag to pull out a new camera.

“Holy shit,” you admire the piece of technology as he holds it carefully in his hands. “Who got you this?”

“My brother if you could believe it,” he sounds like he doesn’t even believe his brother was capable of gifting him such a nice present.

“Damn,” you mutter, “Have you used it yet?”

He nods, “I played around with it at the beach before I left,” he says looking at your subtle smile. “Here, lemme take a picture of you,” he smiles a little wider.

“What? Jungkook I look disgusting,” you step away from him. Your hair is thrown up on your head, no makeup, and an oversized ratted turtleneck covers your frame.

“Baby come on you’re beautiful,” he pouts while adjusting the lens and other settings. “Please I wanna remember this.”

You furrow your eyebrows at him, “Remember what? The remnants of my illness that’s made me look crusty for days now?”

He laughs at you, “Sure, whatever you wanna call it,” he holds up his camera to see the lighting on you. “Sit down and scoot back,” he commands to you. You do as he says, sitting on his bed and scooting so your back is hilt against the wall.

“Here?”

He nods, “Mhm,” he focuses on adjusting the last of what he needs to before he says, “Smile babe, you’re on camera.”

You give him a glare before your features soften, giving him a small smile as you look directly into the lens. Your eyes meet Jungkook’s through the lens and he feels his chest tighten. He hated this—he was so in love with you he couldn’t stand the thought of losing you. You were his present and future—he didn’t want anyone else. How could the universe break him like this?

He snaps a couple photos before looking at them in the small frame. A small smile lets loose on his lips as his heart palpitates for you. He feels your eyes watching him closely and you’re unsure why—despite his smile—he seems so sad and so unsure.

Whatever is bothering him, you could only hope that he would open up to you soon and not suppress his feelings.

Jungkook’s only hope right now is cherishing these moments with you because as he has come to learn in the past few days—nothing good ever lasts.

.

Your phone was buzzing and buzzing annoying you to your core as you tried your best to shove your dangly earrings in your ears. You look down at the caller ID and you roll your eyes with a groan.

“Fuck Taehyung we’re coming!” You half yell at your phone that was still buzzing on your desk. Hearing ruckus in your room, Jungkook peeps in.

“You good babe?” He asks taking notice of how your room is practically flipped upside down. Clothes and jewelry are sprung around and the dress you have decided to wear isn’t even zipped yet, your lower back fully exposed to him.

“Yes,” you say finally slipping the plastic backs on your earrings. You look over your shoulder at Jungkook, heat rushing to your face when you realize how good he looks tonight. “Will you zip me up?”

He nods taking a step towards you, his fingertips cold against your skin. He slowly zips the beaded material up your back slowly not wanting to catch any strings. When he’s done, he wraps his arms around your front pulling you close to him.

“You look beautiful,” he smiles into your neck and you keen into his arms, your feet already blistering in your heels.

“You look sexy,” you muse with a giggle. He turns your body around to flush against his front and he quickly leans down to capture your lips. He’s slow and gentle, wanting you to know how much he cherishes you. He’s careful not to put a hand in your hair knowing how frustrated you were trying to fix it right, so he cradles your neck in one of his hands as you lean into him deeper.

You jump slightly in his arms when your phone starts buzzing again. Jungkook steps away from you and you groan loudly again.

“Remind me to kill him when we get in the car,” you punctuate as you grab your bag and the baby blue coat Taehyung gave you.

“Will do,” Jungkook gives you a wink before grasping your hand into his tightly.

New Years Eve was always a fun time in your friend group, especially at your age. Ever since you started university, you and Taehyung had made it tradition to go to one of the fancier bars in your area for the special occasion. Only having to pay an upfront free—it meant an open bar, free music, and a damn good time.

“Goddamn Y/N,” Taehyung says as you’re waiting in line to get in the bar.

“What? Is there something on my face? My teeth?” You panic looking at your best friend.

“No,” he pauses looking at your date up and down, “You really lucked out didn’t you.”

Jungkook suddenly laughs as his comment and you swat Taehyung’s head.

“Hey back off buddy,” you say wrapping your arms around Jungkook’s torso, “He’s mine asshole.”

“And you’re mine,” Jimin eyes Taehyung playfully. Taehyung had already drank half a bottle of champagne in the car ride from your apartment so he was definitely feeling frisky. It was absolutely freezing outside tonight and Jungkook made sure to keep his arms around you as you waited and waited outside.

“What’s going to be your drink of choice tonight Kook?” You look up at your boyfriend who looks so unbelievable handsome you could cry.

“Hmm, I’m thinking whatever will get me very drunk. Perhaps whiskey?”

Your face contorts at the mention of the dark liquor. Too many bad memories with that one.

“Lemme guess,” Jimin says, “You’re going to down about five green tea shots and then switch over to vodka soda with a splash of cranberry juice.”

Your eyes widen, slightly perturbed, “Am I that basic of a bitch?”

Jimin nods once, “Babe I’m a bartender, we can see girls like you coming from a mile away.”

“Ugh, fine you got me. But maybe instead of vodka soda I’ll just do a flat.” Truth is, you hadn’t drank since your sick spell over Christmas and you were more than ready to get drunk.

A few more minutes and you’re in the crowded bar. You stay close to Jungkook, his hand secured around yours as you make your way to the bar. As expected, you order green tea shots and Jungkook lives up to his previous statement—ordering a whiskey sour to start his night.

You’ve never seen this many people here before. It’s loud, hot, and crowded but it’s everything you could want for New Years Eve. Besides, what’s the fun in going out if it’s not going to be a little chaotic?

After a few drinks, Jungkook finds himself relaxing as he dances close to you. He’s happy right here and right now, but he can’t fully let go—his mind occupied of another woman. He hates himself for doing this, but what is he supposed to do? He’s careful around his arms, making sure his watch stays put and he sleeve doesn’t venture too far up just in case.

Your smile is wide and you feel like you’re on cloud nine. Sure, it was scary now that you were starting your last semester of college in a week but since you had Jungkook—you felt more secure in whatever life decides to throw at you than ever.

“I love you,” you say to Jungkook. It’s simple but you could tell him every minute of everyday and not get tired of it.  

“I love you more,” he says. He’s honest and he only hopes you can’t see the deep sadness in his eyes. He kisses the tip of your nose and you scrunch it up at the feeling. “Do you want another drink?” He asks.

You nod, “Yes please.”

“Vodka cran?”  

You nod once again, “I’ll be with Taehyung over there.”

Jungkook leaves you behind, walking back towards the bar. If he really was going to try to forget his worries—he was going to need something stronger.

“Two shots of whiskey please,” he says. He’ll get your drink when he’s finished so the ice won’t water it down.

“I didn’t take you for a whiskey guy,” a voice comes from his left and when he looks, he feels his whole world stopping.

“R-Rose?” He blinks, making sure he’s seeing correctly.

“I thought it was you over here,” she smiles asking the bartender for a shot of tequila. “How are you?”

He’s speechless. How? Right now?

“Doing well, how are you?” He asks trying to seem sly. God he could only hope that no one he knew, especially you, saw him right now.

“Same, I’m mentally preparing for my hangover tomorrow,” she laughs before downing her shot quickly.

He smiles, “I feel that,” he downs his first shot. It’s hot and it’s burning his throat. “Listen I’ve been meaning to text you but—“

“Don’t worry about it,” she waves her hand, “I mean what are the odds of us being here together? That’s worth more than a text right?”

He swallows, “Y-you’re right. I didn’t know you lived here.”

She nods, her gaze heavy and somewhat obscene, “I go to the all girls university in the area.”

“Ah, I see,” Jungkook says glancing around. Thankfully the copious amount of people have shielded him from anyone’s view.

“Are you here anyone tonight?” Fuck.

“Just some friends,” he says smoothly. “You?”

“Same. My roommates made me come, but now I’m glad I did,” she smiles brightly and Jungkook can himself falling deep into the hole again. Fuck the fucking universe.

“Me too,” he says before he can catch himself. Her eyes glance down to his lips before she looks back up at him.

“Well, I need to get back to my friends before we get fully separated,” she smiles again, “Come say hi if you see me again,” she winks.

He nods, his eyes wide and mouth dry. “Will do.”

He downs the second shot as she walks away, his eyes unable to rip from her frame. Jungkook was in deep shit—no doubting that. There was only so much longer he could keep up this facade. He was heartbroken to the core and as much as he wanted to be selfish and forget about the name attached to his wrist—that wasn’t plausible. It was a reality he had to face sooner or later.

“Fuck,” he says, ordering your drink before he forgets and another shot of whiskey for the hell of it. There was no getting Rose off his mind now but he could at least try. He knew one thing though—once the clock struck midnight, he was ripping you out of this bar faster than a racehorse.

“Oh my god thank you,” you drunkenly smile up at Jungkook when he comes back with your drink. In your intoxicated state, you don’t notice Jungkook’s demeanor change as much as other people do. Specifically Jimin, who is standing off from your side, eyeing Jungkook up and down. Jungkook looks nervous, tense, and unsure about his surroundings. Jimin was curious about what happened to him in the last five minutes of him being gone.

“Oh shit you guys, it’s almost midnight!” Taehyung yells throwing an arm around Jimin’s shoulder.

“What are you gonna wish for?” You gaze up at Jungkook as he throws an arm around your frame protectively.

“Is that a thing babe?” He questions, a small smile playing on his lips.

“Of course it is!” You say, your expression wide and full of disbelief. “I mean I always do it.”

Jungkook leans down and pecks your forehead, his vision fuzzier now that the 3 shots of whiskey have been through his system, “Well I’ll make a wish then, just for you.”

“You better,” you wiggle your eyebrows at him. The clock hits 11:59 PM and the countdown to the new year begins.

Jungkook’s grip tightens around you, afraid that if he lets go you’ll find out his deepest secret and run away from him forever. You lean your head on his chest, unknowing of anything that’s bothering him deep down. You inhale his scent, his laundry and cologne intoxicating you even further.

Ten… nine… eight… seven… six… five… four… three… two… one!

You look up at Jungkook with another beautiful smile and he leans down to close the short gap between you two. The cheers around you drown out as you focus on each other. One of your hands pulls him down from the back of his hair closer to you, smiling into the kiss.

You wish for nothing to change—you were happy and had your partner—that’s all you could ever wish for.

Jungkook wishes for things to change—to go back to normal—but he was afriad that there wasn’t going to be a normal for you two ever again.

Jungkook makes love to you that night like you have never experienced. Every kiss, every touch, every breath is so slow and calculated. He thrusts deep and hard into you, hitting your cervix with each snap of his hips. You both are drunk but if anything that makes it all the better. You two are fully relaxed in each other’s arms and it was just you and him in that moment. He makes you come two, three, and by the fourth time you can’t breathe. His hands grip your waist and under your ass pushing himself possibly deeper into you.

You hold his face close to yours as he drowns out your half screams and moans with his lips. When he finally comes after holding back to relish each second of his cock being inside of you, it’s the most glorious orgasm he’s ever had.

“Fuck—“ you cut him off with your lips as he stills inside of you. “I love you,” he breathes out heavily, collapsing on his elbows.

“I love you,” you whisper back.

He kisses your collarbone and around your neck, trying to hold back his tears threatening to fall.

“I love you more,” is the last thing he says that night before you two drift off into sleep. He means every word.

.

University starts back up a couple weeks after New Years. Your final round of classes were starting off great—most of them being bullshit electives. You were going to enjoy your last semester here and you refused to waste yourself away in school work before hitting the “real world.” You didn’t have any classes with Jungkook or Namjoon this semester which was somewhat of a bummer but you would survive.

Jungkook wasn’t doing good to say the least. He was stressed more and more each day. He barely had a good nights sleep in weeks—waking up every few hours thinking about two very different girls in his life. He had begun to converse with Rose over text message so he didn’t seem like a grade-A asshole. Every time he sent or received a text back, his stomach churned and his heart yearned. He couldn’t help himself—this is how the universe works. It was the hardest thing for him to keep a secret like this from you. He hated lying to you and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could do it.

He turned to his photography more than ever in the past few weeks. His hobby slowly becoming his life to distract him from his actual problems. It’s how he found himself early out in the morning, before 7 AM to be exact, shooting the sunrise from a river about ten minutes from his apartment. He was playing with his new toy and lenses that Junghyun had gifted him, loving the camera the more shots he snapped. He didn’t have class until noon and he couldn’t sleep and he couldn’t think of a better way to pass the time.

It was quiet and peaceful. He loved the countryside and this spot reminded him of back home. It was freezing to say the least and he quickly threw on his gloves before he went through his recent captures.

“Jungkook?” His name leaves a female and his chest twists—recognizing who it is immediately. He looks away from his camera, Rose approaching him from his right. She’s wearing leggings and a thick jacket with running shoes.

“H-hey,” he drops his camera some, “What are you doing up this early?” He asks as she stops in front of him.

“I could ask the same to you,” she smiles breathing heavily. She looks down at his camera before looking back up at his face, “I couldn’t sleep so I decided to go on a run to clear my head.”

He nods slowly, “The best way to clear your head indeed,” he muses. “Same though, to answer your question. Couldn’t sleep and I figured I would come takes some pictures.”

She hesitates before asking her next question, “Can I see?”

Jungkook doesn’t answer immediately, looking down at his camera nervously.

“O-only if you want to though,” she adds picking up on his secluded frame.

His eyes soften and his shoulders drop, “No, it’s fine, here.” He clicks around the buttons to bring up the most recent pictures of the sunrise, the river, and it’s reflection.

“Wow,” Rose whispers, smoke following her words as they hit the cold air as he clicks through each one, “These are great Jungkook.”

He smiles shyly, glancing down her frame, “Thanks.” She’s shorter than you are, her head barely hitting his shoulder.

“Have you been taking pictures for long?” She looks up at him when he’s done showing the pictures.

“A few years now,” he says, “It’s my favorite thing to do with my free time.”

“Well from what I can see you’re really talented,” she smiles, “You should do it professionally.”

He blushes, “A man can only wish,” he laughs, fog coming from his lips too.

A silence falls between the two of them. Jungkook isn’t sure what to do and Rose looks around the area, only a handful of people in the surrounding vicinity.

“Hey I was about to go to this café down the street, wanna come with?” She asks. Jungkook is taken aback by her offer. He notices a sadness behind her eyes and he bites the inside of his cheek before nodding slowly.

“Yeah, that’d be nice.”

The café is small and quiet. It smells of espresso and pastries. Jungkook orders himself a coffee with cream and sugar while Rose decides to get some type of iced drink.

“It’s below freezing and you’re drinking iced coffee?” He quirks a brow at her as they sit down beside the main window.

She shrugs, “I love iced coffee more than I love myself.”

He smiles, sipping on his hot coffee slowly not wanting to burn his tongue. Another silence falls between them and Jungkook takes this time to study her more. She’s petite and gorgeous. She’s the type of girl he grew up crushing over. In the few conversations they’ve had,  he knows they are very much alike. Each day talking to her and seeing her pop up in random places in his life proved to him this wasn’t a fluke. Rose was his soulmate and Jungkook was hers. That’s the fucking reality and it fucking sucks for him. He could see himself falling for Rose quicker than anyone else before—that’s what is supposed to happen anyways. But he had you—he didn’t want anyone else. You were his end all be all, not Rose.

“Jungkook,” she speaks lowly, “Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Are you seeing someone right now?”

Her question makes his heart rate speed up.

“W-what?” His mouth is dry despite the coffee, “H-how—?”

“One of my friends on New Years saw you leave with a girl,” her voice breaks off. Shit.

“I,” he pauses, unsure of what to say, “It’s complicated.”

Complicated?! He was in a committed relationship that was approaching 6 months!

“I’d rather you tell me the truth than lie Jungkook,” she says. “We’re soulmates, we’re supposed to open up to each other.”

He furrows his eyebrows deeply, “It’s not that easy Rose. I just met you almost month ago.”

His words cut her deep but she stands her ground.

“I get that but,” she pauses, “I just don’t want you and whoever you’re seeing to be hurt. I’m sure you knows what happens when—“

“Yes. I know,” he says. He’s already seen it—you’ve already experienced it. The constant up and down sickness from you was just one side effect of a bonded soul that stays with one who isn’t bonded to them.

“Do you love her?” She asks.

“With everything in me,” he answers honestly. She looks away from her soulmate, unsure of how to feel. She had been waiting for him for 8 years. She was expecting her happy ever after. The last thing she thought would happen is that her soulmate would be in love with someone else. Processing this information was going to difficult for her and she couldn’t begin to imagine what Jungkook was going through right now.

“Have you told her?”

He shakes his head slowly, “No.”

She purses her lips, squeezing her cup a little too hard, “I’m not telling you how to go about this Jungkook, but if you really loved her, why are you continuing to hurt her?”  

.

“Taehyung we have to talk right now,” Jimin says into his phone.

“Baby it’s not even 8 AM,” Taehyung’s morning voice is deeper than his actual voice.

“No—like Taehyung it’s urgent.”

Taehyung is beginning to worry what could possibly be going on.

“Is everything okay?” He asks sitting up in his bed, pushing the hair from his face.

“No,” he says, “Not at all.”

Jimin hangs up the phone and makes his way to Taehyung’s apartment. He half jogs, unable to keep up with his feet. Jimin’s mind is racing as he begins to piece his suspicions together.

“Good morning,” Jimin enters the apartment, a shiver going down his back as he steps into the significantly warmer apartment. Jimin glances around the apartment, his eyes frantic. “Y/N isn’t here, is she?”

Taehyung watches his boyfriend with tired eyes like a hawk. “No, why would she be here?”

Jimin nods quickly, “When did she first get sick?”

“Whoa, Jimin what’s going on?” Taehyung holds his hands up, his brain still not fully functioning.

“Just answer the damn question.”

“Uh, Christmas morning, early in the morning.”

“And has she been sick since then?”

Taehyung furrows his eyebrows, “Um, she mentioned being sick the day after New Years. Jimin this is stupid, she was hungover both days—“

“Do you know who this girl is?” Jimin pulls out his phone, pulling up a picture of Jungkook and a girl neither of them knew sitting at a small cafe across from each other.

“Where did you get this?” Taehyung asks taking his phone to zoom in on the pic.

“This morning,” he says, “I went to the gym and saw those two together.”

“What does this mean? Is Jungkook cheating on Y/N?!” Taehyung feels himself begin to get angry, handing the phone back to Jimin.

“Well according to Hoseok, the bartender from New Years I sometimes see around asked who the girl Jungkook was cuddled up to at the bar on New Years… and it wasn’t Y/N.”

Taehyung’s face clenches, “W-what? I don’t understand what you’re getting at Jimin. Is Jungkook cheating on Y/N?” He asks again.

“Taehyung, don’t you get it?” Jimin asks running a hand through his hair, “I study this stuff for fucksakes! This,” he holds up his phone of the picture again, “She’s Jungkook’s soulmate, Tae.”

His mouth parts open, “H-how are you so sure?”

“I don’t know the full story but I’m guessing a name came up on Jungkook over Christmas and destiny brought them together after being apart for so long…”

“A name? Jimin, Jungkook is 22 like Y/N… they don’t—“

“Late bloomers—it’s rare, but it happens Taehyung.”

“Fuck,” Taehyung breathes out, fully awake now, “So Jungkook has a soulmate and hasn’t told Y/N I’m assuming.”

Jimin nods, “I’m sure of it. She needs to know Taehyung—it’ll only get worse for her the longer Jungkook stays with her,” his voice trails off. Jimin cared for you as much as anyone close to you and he knew the consequences of tangoing with someone else who was soul bonded.

“I’m gonna kill Jungkook,” Taehyung grips his hair harshly, “When should we tell her?”

Jimin hesitates but speaking after thinking about what could happen to you the more Jungkook hides his secret, “The sooner the better.”

.

“Babe I don’t know how to do this,” you whine as you stares at a knife and a half open salmon. Jungkook laughs at your attempt to filet the fish for your dinner together.

“It’s not that hard Y/N,” he says pointedly, coming to aid your aid. In one motion, Jungkook manages to remove the skin from the fish.

You roll your eyes at him, “Why are you so fucking good at everything?”

“I’m just that talented,” he gives you a side eye before throwing the fish into the marinade. “Are you sure you want to salmon by the way? I know you’re still not feeling the best.”

“Jungkook it’s fine—I’m not going to get sick from this,” you hoped at least, “Plus you love it and I wanted to do something special for our anniversary.”

It was true—today marked your sixth months with Jungkook. January was brutally cold and quickly passed. Now the beginning of February wasn’t any warmer, but it did mark that spring was coming soon.

You couldn’t believe you had been with Jungkook for sixth months. Six months had come and gone like that. It was odd being in a committed relationship for this long when two people weren’t soulmates—but frankly, you were sure Jungkook was your soulmate so it didn’t really matter anyways.

As Jungkook watched you whip up some rice and veggies to go on the side, he couldn’t help but feel guilty. Guiltier than fuck. It had just been over a month since he meet Rose and to put it shortly—the universe was fucking trying it. No matter where he went, she always seemed to be there. They texted at least a few times everyday, obviously keeping it to himself. Rose was being patient, as she was trying her best to understand Jungkook’s situation, though he had a gut feeling she didn’t want to wait around much longer for him. Time was running out for Jungkook and it was running out faster than he ever wished it do be.  

You and Jungkook finish and eat dinner together on the couch. Sure he had a small dining room table but it was tradition for the two of you to cuddle up on the couch together for your meals. Plus, his roommates weren’t home so you may as well make yourself comfy.

“What are you thinking about?” you ask Jungkook when he goes silent for a few moments. As much as you loved Jungkook, you knew something had been bothering him for weeks that he hadn’t opened up to you about. If it was something he really wanted to open up with you about, he would have already and you felt it wasn’t your place to prod. When he was ready, he would be ready you suppose.

“Hm?” his doe eyes look into yours before glancing away, “Nothing much… I just can’t believe we’re graduating in three months,” he laughs shaking his head in disbelief.

You agreed with him, “Crazy right… are you scared?”

He looks down at your legs that are draped across his, “Yeah, I am.”

A look falls on his face that you can’t read. He’s blank on the outside but you’re sure deep down whatever he’s thinking about is torturing him.

“Jungkook,” you nudge him, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” he asks with a grimace.

“I don’t know,” you shrug, “I just feel like something has been bothering you.”

He bows his head and you’re sure he’s about to be fully honest with you until he says, “I’m just stressed babe.”

You narrow your eyes at him. Stressed you can believe—but what? School? Family? Us?

“If you don’t tell me what’s wrong I can’t help you Jungkook,” you say. You can visibly see his jaw clenching as he grinds his teeth.

“If I wanted you to know don’t you think I would fucking tell you Y/N?” he snaps and it makes you jump in your position, “Don’t be so goddamn nosy if it’s none of your business.”

Jungkook stands up from the couch and your mouth parts at his words. Not only are you taken aback, but you can’t believe Jungkook actually spoke to you like that.

“Don’t fucking talk to me like that,” you stand up and make your way towards him. He’s lean against the counter, his head down. “Jungkook, hey, what the fuck?” you ask him, beginning to get more and more frustrated as each second passes.

He lifts his head to look at you, a pained expression on his features, “Look I’m sorry—“

He’s cut off by heavy knocks on your door. Neither of were expecting anyone and if it was his roommates, they would have just used their keys. Your eyes follow Jungkook when he goes and opens the door. What happens next goes by so fast you weren’t even sure it happened until Jungkook is stumbling backwards, a groan emitting from his lips.

“Taehyung?!” you nearly scream rushing over to Jungkook, “What the fuck?! What are you doing?!” Taehyung walks into the apartment with Jimin close behind him.

“Ow, fuck man,” Jungkook holds his cheek in pain. Taehyung didn’t look like he had much power but he just proved himself wrong.

“Have you told her yet,” Taehyung speaks, looking straight at Jungkook, “Or are you still lying to her?”

You look between the two of them, your mind racing and confused.

“Told me what? Taehyung what the fuck are you doing, are you crazy?!” you yell at him again.

Jungkook and Taehyung continue to glare at each other. Jungkook notices Jimin staring too and he knows—it’s over.

“Not right now Taehyung,” Jungkook says angrily. You whip your head over Jungkook again. What’s going on?!

“Told me what?” you ask looking back over at Taehyung and then Jungkook again, “Told me what Jungkook?!” you raise your voice at him.

“Y/N,” Jungkook says, his eyes full of a wave of sadness. Your heart begins to race, your hands clammy and you feel like you might get sick again.

“What’s going on Jungkook?” you feel tears begin to well in your eyes. You know something isn’t right, otherwise this would not be happening right now.

“I was gonna tell you,” Jungkook’s voice breaks off as he comes closer to you, taking your hands in his, “I just didn’t know how.”

You feel a tear come down your face, “Baby what’s happening?”

“Hurry the fuck up,” Taehyung spits, “We don’t have all night.”

“Taehyung,” Jimin scolds him from behind.

Jungkook doesn’t break his gaze with you as he lets go of your hands. He pulls the sleeve of his left sweatshirt, moving his silver watch back in the process. When your eyes fall onto it—the name—it feels like you’ve been shot in the chest. Your breathing picks up and you look back into Jungkook’s eyes.

You shake your head, “No, no, no,” you mumble, “This is a joke right? This has to be a fucking joke,” the tears are now falling in rhythmic streams down your face.

“I’m so sorry,” Jungkook says, tears now welling his eyes eyes, “Y/N I love you so much—“

“How long have you known?” you step away from him, feeling light headed and queazy. He doesn’t answer until you press again. “How long have you fucking known Jungkook?!”

“Over a month,” his voice drops and you don’t ever think you’ve felt the sharp pains shooting in your chest until now.

“Y/N,” Jimin speaks this time, “I think you should come with us.”

“You’ve been lying to me all this time?” you ignore Jimin, your voice cracking on the edges.

“Y/N, no baby please,” he steps towards you, his hands finding your face, “I-I didn’t know what to d-do. I l-love you and you only you, nothing will ever change that,” Jungkook pleads. You shake your head, pushing him away from you.

“It changes everything Jungkook!” you yell at him, furiously wiping the tears from your face, “You’ve known about your soulmate for a goddamn month and you thought you could hide that from me?! Are you kidding me Jungkook?!”

Jungkook pulls at the roots of his hair, glancing over to Taehyung and Jimin, “I’m sorry Y/N,” he repeats, “W-we can do something about this, there has to be—“

“No,” you spit, “No, it doesn’t fucking matter anymore Jungkook,” you pause, glancing down at your hands, “There’s no way around this and you lied to me.”

“Y/N, please,” Jungkook’s heart breaks all over again as he watches you gather your things, shoving your feet into your shoes.

“Take this,” you rip the ring that suddenly didn’t mean anything to you anymore off your finger, shoving it into Jungkook’s palm. He stares at the jewelry, his eyes watery and blurry.

“Come on,” Taehyung says holding out his arm for you. With one last glance at Jungkook, you turn on your feet and walk out of his apartment. Jimin shuts the door behind of you two and you don’t even make it to their car when you break down into a full sob, Taehyung wrapping his arms around you protectively. You didn’t just walk out of Jungkook’s apartment—you’ve walked out of his life too.

SPRING

Spring was always your favorite season. The blossoming of trees and flowers always seemed to cheer up your mood. More sunlight meant more happiness and less seasonal depression. The warming weather was always a nice touch after cruel and harsh winters. This year though, you thought no one could hate Spring as much as you did.

Everyday was new challenge for you. When you and Jungkook first broke up—your feelings were indescribable. The mental and physical chest pains you experienced from your heartbreak were sure the worst you could ever have. You were a broken soul—a soul not meant for someone who you loved more than life itself sometimes.  

It was hard doing simple things—getting out of bed, doing your laundry, going to class, eating meals—it was all such a burden to you. You cried and cried and cried until you had no more tears left. Sleep was even worse as it meant your unconscious state always drifted into thoughts of Jungkook. There was the time frame where Jungkook called you, left messages and voicemails, tried to contact you through Taehyung and others—but it was all the more painful. However, you couldn’t bring yourself to rid any trace of him from your phone, afraid that you might forget what he looked or sounded like.

No one had ever seen you in such a broken state. You thought you’re mind couldn’t drift into worse territory until one night, you thought about Jungkook and his soulmate—whoever she was. You thought about him loving her, making love to her, taking pictures of her, marrying her, having kids with her, looking at her the way he looked at you—it completely shattered you even more. You don’t remember how much you drank that night. One shot of vodka? Two? Seven? Glasses of wine? It didn’t matter you just needed to forget.

It was when Taehyung found you that night passed out over your toilet, is when he recommended seeing someone. At first, your idea of going to a therapist over a failed relationship seemed silly. But Taehyung made sure that you and Jungkook were more than a college fling—it was real and it was going to take a lot of time to get over.

Your therapist was a nice woman, upper forties maybe, slim face and blonde hair. Your first couple sessions with her didn’t go as smooth as you wished for. She asked you hard questions that you weren’t willing to answer. The third session you went to, you broke down in front of a stranger becoming the most vulnerable you’d ever been.

She knew you loved Jungkook and he loved you just as deeply too. She explained soul-bonding more in depth to you that day. The universe has a reason why it pairs two souls together and why some people are left bare. It’s a phenomenon that’s barely studied but she suspects it’s more common than people want to believe. There’s also a process called soul-breaking, that is rare too but the consequences can bare far greater risks so majority of the people stay away from it.

Overall, you grew up your whole life thinking something was wrong with you. You thought you were a glitch because you didn’t receive a name on your body at 18. But if anything, meeting with your therapist made you realize that nothing was wrong with you. You live a healthy life, have a family, have friends, and you fell in love with someone—and all that is okay.

“I do believe if two people are meant to be together, they will be, someway or somehow,” she said to you one day.

Nearly two months after your break up and one month left until graduation—it was still hard. You had been prescribed antidepressants for a few weeks now and while it did numb your pain for the most part, there were times when thinking about Jungkook just made you want to curl into a ball and forget about your tasks for that day. You told yourself you needed to stop doing that though—you had to be strong otherwise you couldn’t move forward.

“Here you go,” Taehyung plops down a cup of steaming coffee and a bagel in front of you. Your stomach growls at the site.

“Thank you,” you give him a smile, “I’m starved.”

“I bet, you’ve been writing that paper for fucking hours,” he says digging into his own bagel with salmon and cream cheese. You should mention you hated salmon too now.

Taehyung was the greatest friend anyone could have, that you were sure of. Everyday, he called or texted to check in on you. He brought you food to make sure you were eating. Him and Jimin would invite you to the movies or restaurants with them. You refrained from going out to bars with them, too afraid you might run into the wrong people. Nonetheless, without Taehyung by your side, you were sure these past two months would have been much more difficult.

“I got my cap and gown in the mail,” he sings songs scrolling through his phone.

“Jesus Christ Tae, can you believe we’re graduating college?”

He laughs, “I said the same thing when we graduated high school,” he glances at you, “Look at us now bitches!” he holds his arms out dramatically.

You laugh at him, chewing on your food slowly. If there was one positive about being alone the past two months, it meant your illness had gone away completely. Your therapist explained how illnesses of different forms can plague people who play a role in betraying a soul-bonded person. Though you already knew that from your project last semester.

“Did you ever hear back from that company?” Taehyung asks you as you mule over in small conversation.

“Uh yeah,” you smile shyly, playing with the ends of your hair.

“Welllll?”

“I got an offer, if I want it,” your smile widens even more. Taehyung’s mouth drops open before it melts into his signature boxy smile.

“Wait, really? Holy shit, Y/N that’s amazing!”

“Thanks,” you look away from him, heating rushing to your cheeks. It was an exciting opportunity and you felt this was the path for you.

“But wait hold on,” he pauses, “Does this mean… you’re moving? To New York City?”

There’s the bombshell you haven’t dropped on many people yet. New York City. It was always a dream of yours to possibly live there one day. And now with nothing holding you back here, when you applied for the company and they asked a preferred location—you said fuck it.

“Yeah, later in the summer,” your voice is low. Taehyung’s shoulders drop, his happy mood diminishing ever so slightly.

“New York…” he ticks, “Well I’ve always wanted to go there so I’ll have to visit once or five times a year.”

You nod giving him a short wink, focusing on the rest of you coffee and food. Slowly but surely, you were getting better. You knew that your future days would be filled with five steps forward, two steps back but it was the natural process. Once you graduated and moved onto to bigger and better things—you’ll understand that this chapter, while thick and important, was only just a chapter. You have another one already waiting at the starting line to begin.

.

Jungkook was numb—literally numb as a needle digs in and out of skin, inking a flower onto his forearm. He had this one for awhile, but it still needed the little details to perfect the tattoo to his liking. His first tattoos, the scattered pieces on his hands were the most painful. However, now as he has a good amount of ink on his arm all the way to his shoulder, the pain isn’t there that much. He almost likes the stinging sensation as it gives him something to focus on rather than his intrusive thoughts.

The past few months haven’t been easy on him. Watching you walk away from him hit him harder than when Rose’s name showed up on his skin. And he just let you. Sure, he called and texted and persisted as much as he could but he knew he should have done more. He should have explained in more depth why he did what he did. Yes, it was because he loved you with every fiber of his being, but he genuinely didn’t care if he was meant for someone else. He wanted to be with you despite the situation present. There was surely something he could do to make it right but you were long gone from his life. He was stuck in a hole and he didn’t know how to get out.

Jungkook and Rose saw each other more frequently after his break up. She was so kind and so patient with him, he knew she deserved so much more. She never rushed anything with him, always waiting for his moves. The first time he kissed her, there was tingling deep in his chest. As great as kissing Rose was, she could never compare to you. It was hard and confusing for him to understand. He’s heard all his life—when soulmates cross paths and become intimate with each other, their whole world begins to revolve around them. That wasn’t the case though. As much as he was being pulled in by Rose, he was being pulled into a completely different direction. That wasn’t how bonded souls worked, he knew that much.

“You’re not very talkative today,” his tattooist comments as she wipes away the leftover ink on his arms. Jungkook always preferred a female to do his tattoos as they seem to have more control and a gentler grip.

“Just a lot on my mind,” he shrugs turning his head towards the tattoo needle.

“Women issues?” she raises an eyebrow at him.

“Is it that obvious?” he half laughs.

“My job requires a lot of listening and giving advice,” she says, “I know a damsel in distress when I see one.”

He doesn’t say anything as he watches the way she furrows her eyebrows, getting closer to his skin to add the finishing touches.

“Are you still with, Y/N? Was it?” she then asks. The mention of your name sends his face pale. How many months had it been since he last saw you or mentioned you? One, two, three? All of his days blended together so he’s lost track of time.

He shakes his head slowly, “No.”

She looks at him from the corner of her eyes, “Really? I thought you were gonna marry her?”

He bites down on his bottom lip to hold down his emotions before saying, “That was the plan until the universe decided to throw me bullshit.”

She’s never heard Jungkook sound angry. He’s always been very polite and an overall happy person. Jungkook felt he had a right to be angry and resentful. Unfortunately, that anger and resentment was sometimes projected onto those people around him. His roommates had to walk on eggshells around him now, afraid he might fully break if they said one wrong thing to him.

“When did this happen?” she knows exactly what he’s referring to.

“A few months back, around Christmas.”

“Have you met them yet? Your partner?” she pauses when she notices Jungkook’s jaw clenching as he’s staring at the ceiling now, “You don’t have to say anything if you’re uncomfortable. I just like to think I’m good at giving advice, is all.”

“Yeah, we’ve met,” he contemplates elaborating but does so anyways, “But it’s not this big grand affair that I was told about my whole life. She’s amazing and just my type, but… she’s not her. I like her a lot, but I don’t get the same fiery feeling I had with Y/N.”

“Hm,” she muses, putting down the tattoo gun, “You’re done,” she gives a small smile at him. He holds up his arm to inspect the new ink.

“Thanks, it looks great,” he gives her a small smile as she begins the aftercare process of petroleum jelly and a bandage.

“Can I see your mark?” she asks. He nods before shimmying his watch down his arm, revealing Rose’s name in thin cursive. The mark itself is still very much there, but recently it’s begun to fade and he wasn’t sure why.

“Sorry if I’m giving you too much information,” he laughs feeling slightly awkward as she inspects the name.

“It’s fine, I’m the one that asked,” she chuckles again before she sits back in her chair and begins to lift her own sleeve up. He’s confused as to what’s she doing but when she lays out her hand, he sees it. “This showed up when I was nineteen,” he reads the name that’s barely visible anymore—almost looking like a scar.

“Why’s it not dark anymore?” he asks.

“The same reason yours is fading too,” she looks back at his wrist.

“What do you mean fading?” so he wasn’t crazy—it was actually fading.

“It’s what happens when someone’s heart belongs to someone else,” she says, “I don’t know how to explain it but it occurs more than you think.”

She wraps up Jungkook’s forearm and he’s more confused than ever.

“The world is so fucked up,” he comments closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Heard that,” she nods in agreement, “Come on, I’ll ring you up.”

That day into the tattoo shop was a good day for him. It felt nice to open up about his situation to someone who seemingly understood what he was going through. Yes, the world was fucked up but so was everyone living in it. He didn’t understand the full meaning of his mark fading but he knew in the long run, he would deal with whatever was thrown at him. He had to otherwise he was going to live a long, miserable life. Besides, he knows that you would want him to be happy even though you probably hated him for what he did. He wants the same for you because at the end of the day, if he knew you were happy—he would be too.

. The smile on your face as you threw your cap into the air was probably the biggest and most genuine smile you’ve put on for months. The cheers and clapping from everyone in the room drowned out any tears that formed in your eyes. Of course you were happy to be done with university, but it was very bittersweet. The last four years of your life have been the best and worst possible. Everything you’ve learned here, you were sure would live with you for the rest of your life.

You find your parents and younger sister after the ceremony. The hug with your dad is the best you’ve had in a long time. He squeezes you tight, picking you up slightly.

“Gah, we’re so proud of you Y/N,” your mom dabs the inner corners of her eyes as she watches the seen unfold.

“I can’t believe my baby is graduated,” your dad pulls away, ruffling your hair a bit.

“Hey! Stop I spent time on this,” you step away from him, smoothing down your roots.

“Does this mean we get to go to New York now?” your big sister, Mia asks your parents. She’s pulls you into a hug which you exhale deeply in return. You didn’t get to see your sister as much as you wished, but growing up she was your rock. She was the best role model you could have asked for.

“Of course,” you say, “Only if you bring me bags and bags of those honey butter chips.”

“Anything you want we can bring it, or ship it!” your mom nods enthusiastically.

“What about me?” you turn around at the voice of Taehyung, throwing your arms around him.

“Holy shit Taehyung we’ve done it!” you exclaim. Your parents give you a slide on your language in front of them, understanding the circumstance.

“Mia! What’s up!?,” Taehyung pokes your sister on the shoulder before giving her a quick hug. He holds up his diploma and smiles, “Four years and thousands upon thousands of dollars later, we’ve made it.”

“Do you still wanna go downtown? Grab some dinner?” you ask your parents and they nod excitedly.

“Definitely—you choose wherever,” your father smiles. “Taehyung, you and Jimin are welcome to come if you don’t have any plans.”

“Oh we will definitely be there,” he smiles, “Just text me where you guys are going. I gotta go find the devil and my parents through all this mess. See you later!”

Later ended up being at a nicer restaurant downtown that you had never been to—too broke as a college student to ever think about coming here for dinner. You mulled over conversation with glasses of wine and good food, Taehyung being the star of the dinner table. Jimin smiled lovingly at his partner, slightly jealous that you and Taehyung were now finished with school. He’s got another year left in his master’s program so he’ll be graduated this time next year.

When you’re finally done with dinner, you part with your parents and sister for the evening outside the restaurant when you run into an all familiar face.

“Y/N?”

You turn to the source, “Namjoon?” a smile spreads over your face and you quickly make your way to him and give him a squeeze.

“Congrats!” he smiles when you pull away, looking back over your shoulder.

“You too, I can’t believe we’re done,” you laugh taking in his attire. He’s dressed in a nice button down and dress pants, glasses resting on his face looking dapper as ever. “Oh this is my family,” you introduce the them.

“Nice to meet you,” he smiles, “This is Kaya,” he smiles and you didn’t even realize he had company with him. You introduce yourselves to each other and she’s got to be one of the most beautiful girls you’ve met. They look damn good together.

“Nice to meet you,” you return your own smile.

“Is dinner here good?” he asks all of you. Everyone agrees in response and he looks over to Kaya, “Well, it was good to meet you all. Let’s catch up one day? You’re gonna be around in the city right?”

“A city yes,” Mia interjects crossing her arms, slightly envious of you, “Not this one, but New York City.”

Namjoon raises his eyebrows at you, “Wow, big girl things huh?”

You laugh repeating his words, “Big girl things.”

Namjoon and Kaya leave into the bustling restaurant after some finals words and you’re finally parting ways with your family. You mom and dad give you another bone crushing hug before they have to go back home. Mia looks at you with a sadness in her eyes and you furrow your eyebrows at her.

“What’s wrong?” you ask her as she hides herself in her shell.

“I don’t want you to leave,” she pouts, slumping her shoulders.

“I still have a few more months home,” you give her a smile, “And I promise you can visit me and I’ll come back as much as I can.”

“Promise?” she holds up her pinky. You link your pinkies together before nodding your head.

You bid your farewell’s to your family one last time before you’re left alone with Jimin and Taehyung.

“Your sister is funny,” Jimin comments as you begin to walk in the opposite direction of them. Your heels were absolutely killing your feet and you were tempted to take them off but thinking about the dirt and grim on the street made you think otherwise.

“She’s sweet on the outside but damn she can be a handful,” you laugh.

“She’s almost twenty five babe, about to hit her first mid-life crisis what do you expect?” Taehyung says.

Minuscule conversation occurs between the three of you before they have to part ways too. Taehyung and Jimin were meeting up with Taehyung’s parents at a bar just outside the city to celebrate. The sun was now setting, the air warm and sticky as you hugged them off. You were walking back to the parking garage that you had your car when something catches your eye on the way. Downtown was filled with bars, restaurants, boutiques and what nots, but you’ve never seen this before. It was an art studio of sorts, pictures—digital and art canvases—hanging from the windows.

You stared at the plexiglass, a sense of familiarity crossing your mind the longer you stared at the blown up photographs. You take a peak at the hours listed on the door and see that they don’t close for another twenty minutes or so. Curiosity getting the best of you, you swing open the door, silence engulfing you as you step in.

Your heels clink against the hardwood, glancing around the space. It’s quite spacious, pictures lining the walls up and down all the way to the back. A few art pieces are strayed in the middle of the floor. You walk slowly around the gallery, admiring the painted canvases and shots of various things. You pick up there’s different artists and photographs displaying their works and when you get towards the back left corner of the place, you stop in your tracks.

A gallery of scenic pictures ranging from clouds, to the sea, to the cityscapes, and more hang beautifully in thin frames. Something twists inside you as you feel deep down that you’ve seen some of these before you just cannot put your finger on it. It’s when you see a picture to the farthest right when you feel yourself skipping a breath. Your mouth parts when you realize what it it—or who it is. It’s you. It’s black and white film developed, the side of your face looking off into the distance with trees behind you. Your mind flashes back to that day in the park—with Jungkook—a small picnic he set up when you first got together.

“Y/N?” you whip around at the sound of your name.

“J-Jungkook?” his name leaves your lips instantly. He’s emerged from a back room stopping dead in his tracks. You’re speechless. He looks so good—better than you remember. His hair a little longer with blonde tips, a white button up, sleeves rolled up with black slacks that he fills out perfectly.

“H-hey,” he speaks first. His eyes trailing up and down your body quickly. You subconsciously glance down at your frame, the white dress and heels you’re wearing hoping to match how he good looks. “What are you doing here?”

“I—“ you pause looking back at the pictures, “I was just passing by and was curious, I didn’t know this place existed.”

Slowly, he steps closer to you shoving his hands in his pockets. His ears are red and he can’t believe that you’re here, looking at his favorite picture he ever took of you.

“It just opened up recently,” he says getting closer to you, though leaving a considerable amount of space between you two. “I started selling some of my pieces through here,” he explains.

“That’s great Jungkook,” you give him a small smile to hide the hurt you’re actually feeling. It’s been months and suddenly all of your progress seems to have backtracked. He was so beautiful—the most perfect man you have ever met—and he’s standing here before you again. Jungkook can’t believe his eyes either—you’re here, feet away from him, something he thought he’d never see anymore.

“How are you doing?” he asks, unable to take his off you. You can feel him staring holes into you and you can’t bring yourself to look at him just yet.

“I’m good, you?” you continuously stare at his photos, feeling self conscious the more you stand in his presence.

“I’m okay,” better now that you’re here, is what he wants to say, but he refrains. “You look good,” he says and you look over and up at him, meeting his eye contact.

“You too,” you nod, your eyes trailing down to his wrist, not even realizing what you’re doing. His watch still there, hasn’t moved since the last time you saw him. You feel a tingle in your fingertips and chest, unable to hide your awkwardness.

“Y/N,” he stops himself so you’ll look at him again. Fuck, he loves it when you look at him like that. “Would you want to get some coffee one day? Or something like that?” his words are brave and you can’t believe he said them.

As much as you know you shouldn’t—that you might be setting yourself up for further hurt—something between the two makes you say otherwise. Besides, you’ve been hurt enough, what’s a little more going to do?

You slowly with a small smile, “What about right now? A-are you free?”

He glances at his photos with a small smile in return before glancing back to you, his shoulders slumping as if a weight has been lifted from his shoulders.

“Yeah… yeah I’m free.”

[atlafan]

The Tutor - One Shot

a/n: based off this ask! I’m real happy with this one y’all. I’m happy to present tutor!Harry x hockey player!y/n, a nice little college au. Friends to lovers if you wanna categorize it. Enjoy! Reblogs and feedback are always super helpful. (semi-proofread, sorry in advance for any mistakes) 

Warnings: fluff and smut, partying, alcohol consumption

Words: 24.5K

Part Two Part Three

“This psychology professor is out to fucking get me!” Y/N groans as she plops down on her couch. “I don’t understand the books we’re reading, and he doesn’t even lecture from the powerpoints so I never have any idea what to write down.”

“Y/N, who the fuck told you to take a psych class anyways?” Amanda says to her.

“I thought it would be an easy gen ed for my science requirement. I didn’t want to take a fucking lab science, that would have been worse!”

“It’s only the beginning of the semester.” Gina says. “You should sign up for a tutor now before it gets so bad that coach benches you.”

“Goddammit!” She yells as she gets up. “I’m headed to the tutoring office, I’ll be back in a bit.”

Why there wasn’t an online form for tutoring she’ll never know. Y/N couldn’t risk getting a bad grade in her psych class. Hockey was her life, and she was a sophomore now so that meant she had more of a chance for playing time. Not to mention she worked her ass off over the summer, and her coach has been noticing her improvements at the few practices they’ve had.

She enters the tutoring office and the woman at the front desk gives her a form to fill out. She has to put down the class, who’s teaching it, and what she’s specifically having trouble with.

“Thanks, Y/N.” The woman smiles brightly. “We’ll email a student that received a B+ or better in this class, and then they’ll email you to coordinate a time to meet. You can meet in here, or the library, or wherever works best for you.”

“Okay, thank you.” She sighs and leaves to go back to her student apartment.

She felt lucky not to be in a dorm this year, but Y/N couldn’t wait to get an off campus apartment with the other hockey girls next year. For now, the on campus apartment will do. Her and her friends change to go to the gym, make dinner together when they get back, and head to the library to do their homework. This was another thing that Y/N liked about being on the hockey team, no one was ever left behind.

//

From: Harry Styles

To: Y/F/N Y/L/N

Subject: Tutoring

Hello Y/N,

My name’s Harry, the tutoring office sent me an email saying you needed help with Mind, Brain, and Evolution. That’s definitely a tricky class! I’m more than happy to help, I managed to get an A- in that class somehow. When works best for you? I’ll do my best to work around your schedule.

Best,

Harry

Harry Styles

Sociology Major/Applied Ethics Minor

Student Senate

Y/N rubs her eyes to check the time the email came through. 6:30AM. Who the fuck wakes up that early to send an email, and what normal student had an email signature? She rolls her eyes when she sees he’s on student senate. Curiosity gets the better of her, so she looks him up on Instagram. His account was private so she heads over to Facebook. She could only see his profile picture. It looked like it was from over the summer. He has a huge smile on his face, sunglasses on, a white t-shirt and short, yellow swim trunks. He was holding up a fish he caught.

“God help me.” She groans.

To: Harry Styles

From: Y/F/N Y/L/N

Subject: Re: Tutoring

Hey Harry,

I’d like to start ASAP. I’m on the hockey team, so I have ice times early in the morning, and evening work outs. I’m usually free from 2-4PM most days. We could meet at the library at 2 today if that works for you. Also, just feel free to text me, I’m not always great with email, tbh. xxx-xxx-xxxx

Thanks!

Y/N

Y/N stretches and gets out of bed. Her, Amanda, and Gina all head down to the ice arena for their early ice time. Once that’s done the three shower up, and head back to campus for their first class. Luckily, they were all business majors, so they were able to sign up for a lot of the same classes.

“Hey, did your tutor reach out to you yet?” Amanda asks.

“Yeah, it’s Harry Styles. He emailed me super early this morning, like right when I woke up for practice basically. He’s on student senate, so I’m not surprised.”

“Well, at least he reached out already.” Gina says.

The three sit down, and Y/N checks her phone before throwing it in her bag

Unknown Number, maybe Harry Styles: Hey Y/N! It’s Harry. I got your email, so I wanted to text you like you asked. 2PM works great for me today. Wanna meet in the café first and then we can find a spot?

Y/N: hey, yeah, sounds good, see you then!

The day goes by mostly normal. Y/N gets through her couple of classes, has a large lunch with the team, takes a quick power nap, and heads to the library café to meet Harry. She could certainly use an afternoon pick me up to get through the tutoring before her evening workout.

When she walks into the café she smirks to herself seeing Harry already there. He was wearing a pair of khakis and a blue t-shirt. His hair was a little longer than in his profile picture, Y/N could really make out his soft curls. He was wearing a pair of glasses and looking down at his phone.

“Um, Harry?” She walks over to him and he looks up. He gives her a warm smile. She takes a moment to notice he has a number of tattoos on his left arm. Much more prominent now than in the one photo she was able to view.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah.”

“Great to meet you. Your first coffee’s on me, what can I get you?”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that?”

“I insist.”

“If anyone should be buying coffee it’s me. You’re gonna have your work cut out for you with me.” She sighs.

“Nonsense, I think it’s great you reached out for help. Now tell me, what’s your drink?”

Y/N tells Harry she’ll have an iced coffee and he nods. He gets them both an iced coffee, and he gives her a moment to add her cream and sugar.

“You seriously drink that black?”

“Yeah, it’s how I have it at home, I’m just used to it.” He shrugs.

Right, he was an international student from England. She follows him into the main area of the library and they find a table to set up at.

“Do you mind if I sit next to you?”

“Be my guest.” She says flatly.

As he sits down she’s able to get a whiff of his cologne, and it actually smelled good. Like vanilla, but spicy? She now sort of wished she wasn’t in her workout clothes, and dressed a little nicer.

“So, what’s your major?” He asks as he pulls his laptop out.

“Business…I saw that yours is Sociology?”

“Mhm.” He smiles and opens his computer.

“What is Applied Ethics?”

“Oh! Glad to know you actually read all the way to the bottom.” He chuckles. “It’s just ethics, but with practical ways to apply it. I just picked it up this year so I’m taking a class called Creative Problem Solving in Ethics, and then I can take classes about business ethics or medical ethics or whatever else. I like it a lot.”

“What made you want to add that?”

“A lot of the classes double count in my major so I just figured why not?” He shrugs. “Enough about me. Why business?”

“My mom owns her own business and I’m hoping to take it over when I’m older.”

“What type of business is it?”

“It’s just bar.” She shrugs. “But she’s owned since I was a kid, and we want it to be a family business. I have a couple of younger siblings in high school and they feel the same way. I work there on breaks.”

“You’re allowed to work in a bar?”

“You can be eighteen to serve alcohol. I’ve only got another year and a half to go until I’m twenty-one anyways.”

“You’re a sophomore?”

“Yeah.”

“Cool, me too.” He smiles. “And you said you’re on the hockey team?”

“Yup.” She squints at him. “You’re on student senate, right?”

“Yeah.”

“What is with you guys always going to the men’s hockey games? You guys never come to ours. It’s a little annoying, to be honest. I noticed it last year.”

“Well, to be fair, I never go to hockey games, I don’t really care for the sport.” He runs a hand through his hair as her mouth forms into a straight line. “But I can certainly talk to the group to see if they’d be willing to go to your games too. Everyone deserves spectators.”

“Do you like any sports?”

“I don’t mind soccer…but other than that, not really. Oh! I love the Packers, but I only watch their games.”

“You seem to be a fit guy, so you must do something to stay in shape.”

“I run on the treadmill at the gym.” He blushes slightly. “And then I’ll lift a few weights, nothing crazy. Do you, uh, have your books with you? We should probably get started.”

“And here I was thinking I could distract you with small talk.”

Y/N takes her books out and sets up her own laptop. She explains that everything just feels confusing, and that it’s difficult to follow along in class. Harry listens and tries to give her some tips on how to deal with the professor. He takes out his old notes, and she sees the units are the exact same. He explains what he found helpful to remember for the tests.

“Now, I can’t just give you these, but we can use them to help you study. He may have updated the tests since I took them, but we can use my answers to give you an idea of what he’s looking for.”

“How were you able to do so well?”

“I have to take a couple of psychology classes for my major, so I took this as a gen ed. I already knew a ton of stuff about the brain, and the rest wasn’t too difficult, but I know psych isn’t for everyone, so I hope you don’t feel…stupid or anything because you’re not.”

“How do you know?” She smirks. “I could be a real buffoon.”

“To make it through this school’s business program I’m pretty sure you need a brain.” He nudges her. He checks his watch and sees it’s ten of four. “Wow, I can’t believe we used up the two hours.”

“Sorry.” She mumbles as she packs up.

“No! It’s great, actually. I get paid by the hour so it’s no skin off my nose. When do you want to get together again?”

“Maybe we could do this on Tuesdays and Thursdays?”

“Works for me, I’ll put you in my calendar so it’s a standing thing. I can send you the calendar invite too.”

“You’re very…professional, Harry.”

“Thanks.” He smiles and stands up.

She didn’t exactly mean it as a compliment, but she wasn’t going to correct him. They walk out of the library together and then go their separate ways. Harry was nice enough, and he was a decent tutor so far, so it wouldn’t be totally painful to meet up with him. It just annoyed Y/N that a fucking gen ed was stressing her out so much. 

//

A couple of weeks go by, and Harry puts in the hours with Y/N. She had her first big test coming up, and her first home game. Harry was a great study partner, he really helped put her at ease.

“You’re going to do great, I can feel it.”

“Thanks.”

“So…your first home game, are you excited?”

“I’m super excited! I’m starting this season. I just hope we have some people in the stands to cheer.”

Harry hums his response and nods.

“Well, I hope it’s a good game.”

The next day, Y/N takes her test, and she was surprised to see that she actually knew her stuff. For once she left the classroom feeling good. This helped pump her up for her game. When the team leaves the locker room they’re all stunned to see the arena packed. It was never like this for their games. Y/N looks around and sees all of the kids from student senate, including Harry, cheering for them. The arena was full of their school colors and signs. It was quite a sight to see.

Needless to say, the girls won. With all that support and cheering, who wouldn’t be able to play their best? The older girls on the team say there’s going to be a victory party at their apartment tonight. Y/N couldn’t wait. She changes quickly in the locker room, and heads up to campus with Amanda and Gina to get ready.

“I love when Ashley hosts parties, she invites the hottest girls.” Amanda says.

“Oh, is someone hoping to get lucky tonight?” Y/N teases her.

“Don’t I deserve it? I did score a goal.”

“You sure did, with help from me.” Y/N grins.

“Alright, so then maybe you deserve to get some head then.”

Y/N and Gina burst out laughing.

“Right, because guys are just dying to get on their knees for me.” She rolls her eyes.

“Oh! You should invite Harry out. He must have had something to do with why so many people were there, right?”

“I have no idea. I only mentioned once that it annoyed me, but now that I think about it some girls from the soccer team said they had a lot people at their home game the other day.”

“Same with the field hockey girls.” Gina says. “I hope some of them come out tonight. There’s this one girl, Leigh, oh my god I wanna wife her up.”

Y/N laughs and shakes her head. She puts on a black, short pencil skirt and pairs it with a black lacey crop top. She straightens her hair and does her makeup. Amanda and Gina make noises and tell her how sexy she looks. They do a couple of shots, and then make their way to Ashley’s. Once all of the hickey girls are there, they cheer and do shots together.

The apartment was getting more and more packed. Y/N notices the senior class president talking with Ashley, and it made her wonder if anyone else from senate was there. She ends up slamming into something hard. When she looks up she sees Harry in front of her. Although, he looks much different. No glasses, an almost see through white t-shirt so the tattoos on his chest and stomach were more visible, and black jeans with some tan boots.

“Hey, Y/N! That was a great game!”

“Thanks! I was surprised to see you there!”

“We…! Hold on!.” He grips her wrist and tugs her into the kitchen where it was slightly less loud. “Jesus, could barely hear myself think.” He chuckles. “Anyways, yeah, you sort of inspired me to start an initiative.” She watches him grab two red cups and go into Ashley’s freezer. “Want some vodka? We brought our own.”

“As long as there’s something to mix it with…”

“Cranberry juice?”

“Works for me.”

She watches him carefully as he makes the drinks, and hands her a cup. They clink them together and they both take a sip.

“Tell me about this initiative.”

“Well, I sort of felt bad when you said no one ever comes to your games, and it made me think of the other women’s teams. The senior class president is a girl so I brought it up to her first, and she told me it would be a great idea to try and get other clubs to come cheer on the teams. It took a lot of planning in a short amount of time. We definitely had the largest turnout at your game, I think it’s because you can actually sit down and get snacks.” He takes another sip of his drink. “Were you surprised?”

“Very, that was really nice of you.”

“And we’re going to keep doing it too. Definitely wasn’t a one time thing. I actually enjoyed watching you. Um, all of you.”

“Right.” She smiles as she takes a sip. “Can I ask…how did you get an invite here?”

“Kelly made it happen. She spoke to your captain…uh, Ashley? She sort of filled her in and asked if we could pack the arena if senate could come to the party.” He looks out to the living room full of people. “Are there usually this many girls? I’m not complaining, I just figured the hockey guys would be here.”

“They usually show up later, a lot of them end up in the basement where the beer pong and dancing is. There’s a lot of girls here because more than half the team are into girls.” She laughs and takes another sip. “Damn, you really know how to mix a drink, this is good.”

“Thanks.” He takes another sip of his own. “Are you?”

“Am I what?”

“Into girls.”

“Not in that way, no. Although, sometimes I wish I was.”

“Why’s that?” They’re closer to the wall near the doorframe, and Harry places one of his hands on the wall so he can stand a little closer to her. People were walking by them so it’s not like they were the only people in the kitchen.

“Because guys always assume I’m a lesbian or something because I play hockey, so they don’t even bother looking at me.”

“That’s too bad.” He looks her up and down. “You’re quite a sight to see, and I don’t just mean because you’re all dressed up tonight.”

Y/N blushes slightly. She was suddenly painfully aware of how close Harry was to her. Was he flirting? Making a move? Did she want him to? Was he just drunk? Was she drunk?

“You…you look nice tonight too.” She tugs on the hem of his shirt. “You have a lot of tattoos.”

“Does it surprise you?”

“A little. I’m even surprised to see you out like this.”

“Just because I take school seriously doesn’t mean I don’t know how to have fun.” His lips curl up as the song changes. “Do you wanna go downstairs and dance?”

“Yeah.” She smiles.

She leads him down the stairs to the stuffy basement where a ton of sweaty people were dancing and playing pong. Whoever had the aux tonight was a genius, playing bop after bop after bop. Traphouse was just starting to play. Y/N was hoping for less of a slow grind to start off with for her and Harry, but oh well. She downs the rest of her drink and tosses the cup somewhere. Harry’s eyebrows raise, but he does the same. If she didn’t care, why should he?

Harry easily was a foot taller than her, especially with him wearing his boots. His hands find her hips and hers hook around his neck. He steps to put his leg between hers so she could grind on his thigh. He clearly knew what he was doing, and she was sort of impressed. Even though he was right there in front of her, it was still hard to think of Harry as someone who partied.  

She presses her head into his chest as they get going, and his head dips down to rest against hers. Getting to smell his cologne this close was making her feel even more intoxicated then she was. The song fades into Shake It by Metro Station and they both start giggling. Y/N steps away and starts singing the lyrics and so does Harry, not that they could hear each other. They dance like idiots and laugh a lot. That songs fades into Acquainted by The Weeknd. Y/N turns around and grabs Harry’s hands to put on her hips. He presses his pelvis to her ass, bending slightly at the knees so they were lined up. She moves her hips in perfect rhythm to the song and he follows right along with her. He feels himself growing tighter in his jeans, but he doesn’t do anything to suppress it, and she doesn’t mind one bit. If anything, it makes her press back harder on him. That song was just too powerful. Her head rolls back to chest as they continue to grind, and he hides his face in her neck. In a moment of bravery he starts kissing on her. One of her hands hooks around him so she can tug at his hair. He bites down and a slight moan leaves her lips. He pops off her and she turns around to face him. She presses her body close to his and keeps her arms around his neck. His hands are low on her back, just above her bum. He looks down at her and she leans up further so their lips can touch.

He tastes like the vodka cranberry that he was drinking earlier as she licks at his bottom lip. He opens up for her and she licks into his mouth. His tongue meets hers and he pulls her as close to him as he can. Things were getting heated quickly, especially as they continued to grind on each other. When the song ends they stop to look at each other. He leans down to her ear.

“Do you wanna go back to my place?”

“Yes.” She nods and he smiles.

He takes her hand in his and they both go upstairs. Y/N finds Gina and Amanda to let them know she was going over to Harry’s. Now, not that Y/N was living a lie, but she was definitely still a virgin. She had made out with plenty of guys, but that’s all. Her friends knew this so they both ask to make sure she was certain she wanted to go back with him. She assured them that she did. As they leave, Harry puts his arm around her shoulders, and she puts hers around his waist.

“I don’t live too far from here.”

“You’re off campus?”

“Mhm.”

“How?”

“I live with some of the other international students. Some of them are older, it just worked out.”

“Must be nice, I can’t wait to get off campus next year.”

“The privacy is definitely nice.” He says as he pulls her closer.

They walk up the steps to his apartment and he keys in. He pulls her up a set of stairs and down a hall that leads to his room, and he unlocks that door as well. Just as she thought, his room was neat and tidy. Even his bed was made. It was a decent sized bed too, a full, way better than her extra-long twin.

“Wanna listen to some music? I have, like, every record you could think of.” He walks over to his record player and she crosses her arms.

“Of course you have a record player?” She rolls her eyes.

“What? The sound quality is better.” He side eyes her. “Come here, come pick out what you want to listen to, I’m gonna grab us some water.”

“Okay.”

He slips out of the door and she hears him do down the stairs. She flips through the various records, rolling her eyes once in a while, and then she settles on Marvin Gaye.

“Subtle.” He smirks as he comes in with two glasses of water.

“What? I didn’t like anything else.” She takes a glass from him and takes a decent sip.

“Sure.” He chuckles and sets his glass down on his desk, she moves to do the same.

One of his hands finds her hip, and the other cups her jaw. He leans in to kiss her and it was like they never parted in the first place. She tugs him back towards his bed and they both fall onto it. She gets herself back so her head is on his pillows. He kicks his boots off, (her flats fell off when she got on the bed), and he hovers over her. His lips find her collar bone and he starts to suck on her skin. She gasps but lets him continue. He plants wet kisses around her upper chest and throat. Her hands were running through his hair. What’s Going On was playing in the background, and Harry’s hands were running up her thighs.

Her legs are parted, and Harry grinds himself against her. She pulls his face to hers so they can kiss. She didn’t know how many roommates he had so she didn’t want anyone to hear her moan out. He sucks on her bottom lip as his bulge continues to press against hers. How was he so good at this? How much action did he get? He was a sophomore like her, but how old was he actually?

“How, how old are you?”

“What?” He laughs.

“How old are you?” She repeats. 

“I’ll be twenty in February, why?”

“Just wondering…um, you said some of your roommates are older so…”

“Y/N, I promise if I were a lot older, I wouldn’t be trying to fuck some nineteen year old.” He smirks. “You are nineteen, right?”

“Yeah.” She smiles.

A wave of relief covers her body as he starts to kiss on her neck again. She couldn’t believe the guy that’s been tutoring her was doing this to her. She could feel how wet she was getting. He groans into her neck as he grinds into her again. She feels his hands go up under her pencil skirt and grab onto her panties.

“Harry, wait!” She gasps. “Don’t!”

He lets go immediately and sits back on his calves so he can look at her. She closes her legs and sits up against the wall.

“Sorry, was I moving too fast?”

“No, it’s just…I thought I was ready for this, but I don’t think I am.”

“Oh…” He runs a hand through his hair. “Well, that’s okay. We don’t need to do anything you don’t wanna do.”

“Are you sure? You’re not mad?” She chews on her bottom lip. He was probably hoping to get laid tonight and she just ruined that for him.

“Mad?! I’d be pissed if we did something you didn’t feel comfortable with. I’m not mad, Y/N. It’s really no problem. Do you want me to take you home?”

“No, I wanna keep making out.” She mumbles and it makes him smile. “I like the way you kiss.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He sits next to her and pats his thighs. She swings her leg over so she can straddle him. She pecks at his lips as her hands tug at his shirt.

“I wouldn’t mind if your shirt came off either…if you wanted.”

“Sure.” He stretches to get it off and he tosses it aside.

She runs her hands up and down his torso, tracing his tattoos, as his hands clasp around her back. She presses her lips to his neck and he sighs. She sucks on the spot just below his ear and he pulls her closer. He presses his hips up to hers so their grinding against each other again. She kisses along his jaw until her lips are on his again. He sucks on her tongue and it makes her moan against him. She tugs at his hair again and he has all he can do to not lose it in his pants. She was rubbing herself on his bulge in just the right way, she could feel the knot in her stomach growing more and more.

“Oh god.” She grunts and hides her face in his neck.

“Almost there?” His hands move to her hips to help her move on him.

“Y, yeah, I think so.” She was panting. “Shit, H, Harry.”

“Don’t fight it, it’s alright.” He grunts as he presses her down as close as possible on him.

She cries out into his neck and she slows her own movements as she works through it. She twitches on top of him during her aftershocks and then she just clings to him. He rubs her back to soothe her. He wasn’t sure if someone else had ever given her an orgasm before so he didn’t want her to feel freaked out or anything.

“Kiss me.” He whispers.

She presses her swollen lips to his and she whimpers. He was incredibly hard and he needed to go relieve himself before he got blue balls.

“Y/N?” He says against her lips.

“Yeah?”

“Would you mind if I just go use the bathroom quickly? And then I’ll come right back to you.”

“Okay.” He gently lifts her off of him and her eyes grow wide when she sees his bulge. She was also slightly embarrassed because even though he was wearing black jeans, she could see where her wetness got onto him. “You can wear this if you want…” He rifles through his drawers for a pair of shorts and a t-shirt.

“Oh, um, thank you.”

“Be back in a sec.”

He quickly leaves the room and she changes into his clothes. She really needed to pee herself, but she didn’t want to walk around his apartment alone. She patiently waits for him, scrolling on her phone, and he returns. There was a new sheen of sweat on his chest, and his bulge was gone. He goes into his drawer for a new pair of boxers.

“Would you care if I just stay in these? It’s a little hot in here.”

“Yeah, I don’t care. Um, would it be weird if I asked you to walk me to the bathroom?”

“Not at all! Come on, love.”

She smiles at the pet name. He used it a couple of times when he was tutoring her, but now it felt especially good. Harry thought she was cute. His big bad hockey player had gotten all soft around him. He walks her down to the bathroom and he changes in the hallway quickly, feeling relief from his clean pair of boxers. He also couldn’t help but smirk to himself thinking of how large his clothes were on her. Y/N uses the toilet and then uses some of the mouthwash on the sink before opening the door.

“All set?” Harry whispers.

“Mhm.”

She tries not to stare at his almost naked body as they walk back to his room. He flips the light off as she crawls into bed, and he grabs his laptop. She watches as he opens up Disney Plus.

“I’ve been watching Hannah Montana, do you feel like watching that?”

“Are you serious?” She laughs.

“Yeah! I’m fucking sick of people making references and me having zero idea what they’re talking about. Her songs are all over tik tok and I never understand.”

“Well, lucky for you I love this show, so I’d be happy to watch.”

“Good.” He smiles and hits play. He sets the laptop up at the end of the bed, and throws an arm around her. He strokes her arm lightly with his fingers that she noticed he painted black tonight.

“So…that wasn’t weird?”

“What?” He asks without looking at her.

“Um…me…doing that on you?”

“You mean when you came from grinding on me? No, it wasn’t weird.” He smirks and looks down at her. “It was pretty hot actually.”

“Did you…take care of yourself?”

“Yeah, is that weird?”

“No.” He kisses the top of her head. “You’re okay that I didn’t offer?”

“You pretty clearly said you weren’t ready to do that, so it’s fine.”

“I’ve never, um, taken my pants off for someone before…my top either.” She blushes. The alcohol in her system was making her a little too honest.

Harry sighs and reaches forward to pause the show. He sits back and looks at her.

“You don’t have to explain anything to me. Whether you’ve had sex before or not, you didn’t want to tonight and that’s okay. I should have asked first before grabbing at you like that, so I apologize.”

“No! No, it was okay, I just got nervous. I thought…I mean…when we were at the party I really thought I wanted to, I don’t know what happened. It got real all of a sudden and I panicked.”

“I like you, Y/N, I don’t mind waiting.”

“What do you mean you like me?”

“I mean I’ve had a fucking crush on you since the first time I tutored you. I didn’t know if you’d feel the same way, so I just kept it to myself.”

“Oh.” A boy had never liked Y/N like this before. Sure, she had found random drunk guys to make out with at parties before, but a boy had never openly said they liked her. “This is all so surprising, I’m a little overwhelmed.” She looks up at him and kisses his cheek. “But…I really liked what we did tonight, so maybe when I’m more sober we could talk about these feelings of yours more?”

“I’d like that.” He smiles and pecks her lips.

“Hit play, this is a good episode. She thinks her dad wrote a song about a bunny that stole his money.”

“Do hijinks ensue?”

“Oh, yes, many.”

“Fantastic.”

He leans forward to hit play, and she cuddles up with him.

//

The next morning, Y/N wakes up with Harry’s arms wrapped around her. It was early. She squints and sees his clock says 7:15. Her head and stomach didn’t feel great, but she easily could have felt worse so she wasn’t complaining. She adjusts against him and turns over to lay on her back. His hand moves to the side of her neck, and he gives her cheek a few smooches, making her giggle.

“Morning.” His morning voice ripples through her. Harry was sexy, it was official.

“Morning.” She whispers.

“Wanna go to the dining hall for breakfast?”

“Could I stop by my apartment first?”

“Sure.” He gets out of bed and looks for something in his dresser. “Here.” He tosses her some sweatpants. “I’m gonna grab a quick shower.”

When he comes back she’s wearing her crop top paired with his sweats. She put his other clothes in his hamper. His towel was hanging low on his hips. He grabs some clothes and changes in his closet. He comes back out in a hoodie and joggers. He cleans his glasses and puts them on.

“You won’t be cold?”

“Nah, it’ll be fine.”

They leave his place and walk to hers. Campus was always interesting this time of morning. There were other people walking back to their dorms and apartments. Y/N felt lucky she wasn’t walking alone.

“This is me.”

“Oh cool, you have student app. I’ve been to a couple of these, they’re nice.”

“Yeah, I have my own room, it’s just annoying that we still have to follow all the rules.” She unlocks the door and he stands outside with his hands in his pockets. “You can come in if you want? You can come up and wait in my room.”

“Alright.”

They both go in and head up the stairs. She was thankful her room was mostly clean, but her bed certainly wasn’t made. She grabs another shirt to change into and tells Harry she’s just gonna be in the bathroom. He sits on her bed and looks around her room. All of her hockey gear was piled up in a corner, she had posters of different teams she liked, and she had a poster of Dylan O’Brien from when he was on Teen Wolf.

She comes back shortly in a sports bra and his sweats, and her hair up in a messy bun. She throws on a hoodie of her own, and smiles at him.

“Okay, I’m all set.”

“Great, I’m starved. Definitely need a coffee too.”

“Oh, for sure.”

Just as she opens the door to go outside, she sees Amanda.

“Wait, I thought you stayed at his place.” She says.

“I did, we just came back here so I could change.”

“Those aren’t your pants.” She smirks. “Hi, Harry.” She teases.

“Hi, um, I’m sorry, I don’t know your name.”

“Amanda.”

“It’s nice to meet you.”

“Where’s Gina?” Y/N asks.

“Passed out in her bed, I think. I made sure she got home before hooking up with this girl from the soccer team. My god, Y/N, she-“ Amanda stops herself. “I’ll tell you later, I need to shower. Where are you headed?”

“Dhall.”

“Okay, see you later.”

Y/N smiles and shakes her head at her friend. Her and Harry walk to the dining hall and swipe in. They decide on where to sit before going up to grab food.

“So, what other Disney shows are you going to catch up on?” She asks as she sips on her coffee once they’re at their table.

“I think That’s So Raven is up next.”

“Oh, excellent choice.” She smiles. He rests his elbow on the table, chin in his palm. He can’t stop smiling at her. “What?” She asks, shoveling eggs into her mouth.

“Nothing, I just think you’re cute.”

Y/N nearly chokes on her food, and takes a large sip of her iced coffee. He gives her a concerned look as she calms down.

“Oh, yeah, you have a thing for me.” She blushes. “Still need to get used to that.” 

“The real question is, do you have a thing for me? I mean, you must a little bit with how you were kissing me last night.” He gives her a coy look before biting into his toast.

“You’re…I mean, yeah, I have a thing for you. I like you, I like when we get together for tutoring. I even started looking forward to it.”

“How’d your test go yesterday, by the way?”

“I think it went really well…he said we should have our grades Monday.” Harry hums his response. “You’ll still tutor me, right?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I?”

“I don’t know…I just feel like I made things weird…”

“Would you stop with that? I had plenty of fun last night, didn’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay then.” He shrugs. “I really don’t care that I didn’t get my dick wet, Y/N. I care more about you being comfortable.”

“But you could have taken someone else home and-“

“I didn’t want to take anyone else home. Just wanted you.”

“Why?”

“Because I like you.”

“But…why?”

“Well, for starters, since we met you’ve just been utterly yourself. You’re not afraid to say what’s what. I like when people speak their minds. I’ve tutored a lot of athletes, and I’ve never seen one work as hard as you. Usually they want me to do everything for them, and I don’t because I can’t be there to take the fucking test for them, but you genuinely wanted to understand the material.”

“I just always look like such a schlub when we meet, though.”

“See, what you call schlubby, I call sporty. You usually go to the gym after our meetings, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay then. I like all people, but I’ve never really been attracted to frillier girls. I like when girls don’t feel the need to impress others all the time. You’re just comfortable, and I like that.”

“I dress up for class sometimes, I just-“

“You don’t need to justify anything, Y/N. I mean, you looked insanely hot last night, but even if you had shown up to that party in sweats, I still would have wanted you to come home with me.”

“So…you wanna, like, date me? Is that it?”

“Date, hang out, whatever.” He shrugs. “I’m not picky about labels.”

“And you’re not talking to anyone else?”

“I haven’t had the time. I’ve been tutoring this really needy girl that has to see me twice a fucking week.” He smirks at her and she nudges him.

“I may be small, but I could beat the shit out of you.”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time, babe.” He winks and takes a sip of his coffee. “I have some stuff I have to do today, I like to get my homework done on Saturdays, but are you free tonight?”

“Yeah, we have the weekend off since we won. I don’t think the girls are doing anything, if they are I could always skip out, why?”

“My roommates and I are having a movie night if you’d like to come over.”

“I wouldn’t be crashing?”

“Not at all. They bring dates all the time.”

“Okay, yeah, that sounds nice.”

“I can come get you too so you don’t have to walk alone.”

“What movie?”

“We haven’t decided yet. Nothing scary, I can tell you that.”

“Works for me.” 

//

“Spill it, bitch, let’s go.” Gina says as she pins Y/N down on the floor of the living room.

“You guys are annoying.” Y/N giggles from Gina tickling her. “Okay, okay!”

Gina gets off her and helps her up. She gets on the couch and lays her head in Amanda’s lap. Amanda strokes her hair and she sighs.

“We went back to his place, we made out, and then I got nervous so I didn’t take my clothes off, but we ended up dry humping, and things didn’t stay dry very long.”

“Oh my god, did he jizz in his pants?” Gina asks.

“No, but I did. I can tell he’s big, and we were grinding really hard on each other and I came.”

“Oh my god!” Amanda squeals. “What did he do?”

“He took care of himself in the bathroom, and gave me some clothes to wear. We ended up falling asleep watching Hannah Montana. God, and he likes me, like he really likes me, and I think I like him too. He invited me over for a movie night with his roommates later.”

“You know what was a good sign? The fact that he wanted to get breakfast with you, and walked you to and from the dining hall. That’s a man right there.” Amanda says.

“No, what makes him a man is that when Y/N said stop he stopped.” Gina remarks. “I like him already.”

“He was seriously so chill about it, I was honestly shocked. I appreciated it, but I wasn’t expecting him to be so okay with me not wanting to go further.”

“That’s the shitty thing about college. Good people are a dime a dozen.” Amanda says 

//

Y/N straightens her hair and puts a little makeup on. She settles on a pair of leggings and a t-shirt with the school’s logo on it. She takes a shot with the girls just to take the edge off, and hears a knock at the door. She grabs her jean jacket and opens the door.

“Hi, Harry.” She beams.

“Hey, love, how was your day?”

“Good.” She giggles and leans up to kiss his cheek, taking him a bit by surprise.

“Now, young man…” Amanda says, walking over with Gina. “What time can we expect our girl home?”

“Who said she’s not spending the night again?” He raises an eyebrow at them. “Quite liked waking up next to you.”

“Oh my god.” Y/N says, clearly flustered. “I’ll text in the group chat so you know what I’m doing, bye!” She pulls Harry out the door. “Don’t add fuel to their fire.” She nudges him.

“I was just being honest.” He throws his arm around her. “I hope you’ll stay again, but if you don’t want to I’ll bring you home, no big deal.”

Instead of going right up the stairs when they get to Harry’s place, he leads her down the corridor, passing by the kitchen and a hall bath, and into the large living room. There was a giant sectional sofa and even more giant TV across from it. There were a couple of guys sitting down already.

“Oi, there you are.”

“I said I was stepping out to get my girl, didn’t I?” He rolls his eyes. “Y/N, this is Louis and Niall.”

“Hi.” She says, trying not to melt into a puddle from being called his girl.

“Make yourself comfortable, I’m gonna get some popcorn made. Do you want a beer or anything?”

“Beer’s fine, thank you.”

She sits down on the edge of the sofa and leans against the arm rest.

“You’re on the hockey team, right?” Niall asks.

“Mhm…you look familiar, are you on the soccer team?”

“We both are.” Louis says.

“Oh, cool. Is it just the three of you here?”

“No, we have two other roommates, but they practically live at their girlfriend’s places.” Niall explains. “We have some other friends coming soon, though, it’s good for you to claim your spot now.”

“Yeah, some of the other senate kids usually join us.” Louis says. “So you’re the girl Harry’s been tutoring, huh? He won’t shut up about you, it’s pretty cute.”

“Oi! Don’t embarrass me or I’m not sharing the popcorn.” Harry says, tossing them each a beer, and handing Y/N one. He sits down next to her with the bowl of popcorn in his lap.

A few of the student senate kids show up and Harry ends up pulling Y/N into his lap to make room on the couch. She didn’t mind one bit. They had settled on Napoleon Dynamite for a movie, which was perfect. There was one girl, though, that had sat right next to Harry, and she had sort of been flirting with him. Take the hint, I’m in his lap, not you, Y/N thought to herself. Harry notices Y/N finish her second beer.

“Want another?”

“I can get it.”

“You’re my guest.” He kisses her cheek and lifts her up so he can get up.

“How long have you known Harry for?” The girl asks.

“Um…like a month? What about you?”

“We met last year.” She flips her hair.

“Here we are, a fresh beer.” He hands one to Y/N and tosses a couple out to his friends. He lifts Y/N up and plops her back in his lap, making her giggle.

Everyone was having a good time, laughing at the hilarious movie. The lights had been dimmed when the movie started, so Harry was able to discretely kiss on Y/N’s neck once in a while. When the movie ends, Louis and Niall let Harry know there’s a party at the soccer house and he can swing by if he wants, and out the door they go. That leaves Harry and Y/N with the senate kids. They get into a game of Cards Against Humanity, which ends up being pretty fun. It was starting to get late, though, and it was clear that Harry wanted to be alone with Y/N.

“One more round.” The girl says.

“Nah, come on, Ari, we should go.” A boy, Billy, says.

“Yeah.” Another boy, Andrew, agrees. “I’m beat, and we need to walk you home.” They both stand up, and he extends a hand to her. She groans, but stands.

Harry walks them all to the door and says goodnight. He walks back over to Y/N who was cleaning up the living room.

“You don’t have to do that, I can clean up, love.”

“It’s okay, it’s just a few cans.”

“Follow me, we have a recycling in the kitchen.”

She follows him in and he opens the door for the pantry where the kept a bucket for empty cans.

“That girl has a crush on you, yeah?”

“Who? Ari?! No way.”

“Come on, Harry.” She scoffs. “If I wasn’t sitting on top of you I’d say she was.”

“Aw, it’s cute your jealous.” He wraps his arms around her waist.

“I’m not, I’m just saying.” She wraps her arms around his neck. “I picked up on the vibe.”

“Well, even if she did it doesn’t matter because I don’t like her like that. I like you.”

“I like you too.”

“I should fucking hope so.” He chuckles. “Wanna come up to my room?”

“Yeah.”

He pecks her lips and then leads her up the stairs. He flops onto his bed and she crawls on top of him. His hands find her hips and she rids him of his glasses, gently putting them on one of his pillows. She leans down so their chests are pressed to each other and they start kissing. One of his hands moves to the back of her head so he can tug at her hair.

“Can I…touch your butt?” Y/N laughs against him and nods yes. His hand slides further south and he squeezes her right cheek. “You’re so fucking perfect, you know that?”

She sucks on his bottom lip as her answer and he pushes his hips up to hers. They grind against each other just as they did the night before. Both of his hands knead her cheeks as her hand slide up under his shirt. They were both starting to sweat. She sits up on him and lifts her shirt off. His eyes grow wide as he sees her breasts practically spilling out of her bra.

“It’s hot.” She whines and tugs at the hem of his shirt. He sits up so she can pull it off him.

“Let me turn the fan on, yeah?”

She nods and lets him get up to turn his fan on. He snatches his glasses and puts them in their case on his desk, and then he gets back on the bed, sitting up against the wall, and she crawls back into his lap. He kisses on her necks and down her chest, biting on the fleshy parts of the tops of her breasts. She tugs at his hair and rolls her hips down on him.

“You…you can take it off if you want.”

“Are you sure? Is that what you want?” He looks up at her. “Last night…”

“I was really drunk, I have more of my wits about me now. I’m okay if my bra comes off.”

“Okay, but if you wanna cover back up just let me know.”

“I will.”

He reaches around and gets her bra unhooked in a couple of swift movements. He tugs it down her shoulders and tosses it to the floor. He gazes at her bare chest and licks his lips. His large hands cup both of them and he kneads them at first, just getting a feel. His thumbs rub circles into her nipples, getting them nice and hard. He kisses down her chest again, and just uses his tongue to lick and swirl around her nipple. Who was he? Y/N’s head was swimming. She thought Harry was just a stuffy, studious college kid, but fuck, he was almost…devious. He blows on her now wet nipple before wrapping his lips around it to suck on.

“Oh!” She gasps and presses his head closer to her. She grits her teeth and closes her eyes, loving the new sensation he was bringing her. He pops off and does the same to the other one.

“So,” He says, kissing his way back to her neck. “No one’s ever had the privilege of seeing you like this?”

“No.” She swallows.

“I feel really lucky then.” He nips at her bottom lip. “You like the way it felt?”

“Mhm.” She nods. “Felt really good.”

“Good. I always wanna make you feel good.”

He puts his face between her breasts and press them around his cheeks, making her giggle. He mumbles something.

“What?” She laughs and he looks up at her.

“Just feels so nice, they’re so big.”

“Sometimes I have to wear two sports bras so I’m not bouncing around on the ice.”

“I bet.” He starts kneading them again.

“I feel like I just wanna do everything with you.” She says as she rolls her hips on him again.

“God, I feel the same way, but only when you really feel ready, Y/N.”

“I know, you just make me feel so comfortable.”

“Have you…I mean you said you’d never taken your pants off for someone before, but have you ever seen someone else?”

“Um, no…”

“So you’ve never gotten a guy off before.” He doesn’t ask, he’s more so confirming.

“Right.”

“Okay.” He smiles and kisses her. “Think we should cool it for the night then before I get a little too excited.”

“Oh, alright.” She was hoping to maybe come again. He lifts her up and sets her down. She crosses her arms over herself as he gets up, he looks over his shoulder at her.

“No need to cover up, babe, I’m just changing outta these pants.”

“I just feel a little exposed right now.”

“Want one of my shirts?”

“Yes, please.”

He tosses her a t-shirt and she puts it on. He strips down to his boxers and gets back on the bed. He furrows his brows at her leggings.

“You’re not gonna sleep in those, are you?”

“Well…I’m only wearing a thong underneath, so I’m not sure what else to do…”

“Christ.” He blushes and gets up, searching for a clean pair of boxers. “You can wear these if you want.”

“I feel like I’m going to own all of your clothes at some point.”

“I like the way they look on you, so I don’t mind.”

She stands up and turns around to change while he lays on the bed. He wants to respect her privacy, but he’s nineteen, so he sneaks a peak. She climbs onto the bed with him and snuggles up. He falls asleep before her, and she can’t help feeling restless.

“Harry.” She sits up nudges his shoulder. “Harry, are you awake?”

“I can be.” He says softly. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah…I just…um, would you…take care of me?”

“Y/N…” He sits up and caresses her cheek.

“It’s so hard just laying here next to you, I want you to touch me or something. You made me feel so good last night, and you got me all riled up before.”

“Left you hanging?”

“Yeah.” She pouts.

“What do you want me to do specifically? I only wanna do something you wanna do.”

“I don’t want to have sex, but I do want these boxers to come off, and I think I want your head between my legs…if you’re up for it, that is.”

“Oh, babe.” He smirks. “I’m more than up for it. Just tell me to stop if you get nervous.”

“I will.”

He shifts to get between her legs, and he tugs on the boxers, slowly sliding them down her legs. Once they’re gone he gently opens her legs up for him. She was shaking slightly.

“Hey, hey.” He leans up to kiss her. “You’re alright, yeah? Do you not want to do this?”

“No, I do, please it’s okay. I really wanna feel you on me.”

“Okay.”

He gets back between her legs. It was dark, so it was a little hard to see, but it wasn’t rocket science, so Harry licks up from her center to her clit. She gasps, and he does this a few times.

“Doing alright?”

“Yeah, keep going.” She bites her bottom lip.

He licks and sucks around her folds and then he sucks on her clit. This causes her hands to fly to his hair. He flicks the tip of his tongue on the small bundle and then sucks again. Y/N tries to stifle her moans by biting her lip, but it’s starting to hurt.

“No one’s home, love, just let it out.” He says against her. “Can I use my fingers?”

“Please, yes, need it.”

He smirks up at her, not that she can really see. He sucks his middle finger into his mouth before slowly inserting it. She gasps out a moan. He’s slowly lapping away at her clit while his finger goes deeper, to his knuckle. His hips press into the mattress, trying to get some relief of his own. She was so warm and inviting, and it was killing him. He was taking it slow with her, not wanting to hurt her, but he couldn’t help himself from twisting and curling his finger. He was looking for that special spot.

“Oh my god.” She gasps. Bingo. He’s got it.

“Right there?” He rubs his finger against it again.

“Yes, oh shit.” She groans.

Harry sucks on her clit while continuing to use his finger inside her. She can’t help the way she’s breathing and panting, it just makes him work faster and harder.

“H, Harry, I think I’m going to c….oh my god!” She throws her head back as she feels her release.

He retracts his finger and laps away at her center. He kisses her inner thigh to help calm her down. He sits back up slowly to look at her. He couldn’t tell, but her cheeks were flushed.

“Would you, um, walk with me to the bathroom?”

“Of course.”

She doesn’t bother putting the boxers back on. The shirt she was wearing covered her plenty, and he was just nose deep in her crotch so she didn’t need to be shy. Once she’s done he tells her to go wait for him in his room. He needed to take care of himself.

“Think you’ll be able to sleep now?” He teases as he gets back into bed with her. 

“I feel bad…”

“About what?” He pulls her close to him so she can rest her head on his chest.

“I should have taken care of you.”

“One step at a time.” He kisses the top of her head. “When you feel ready we can do that. I feel happy that you trusted me enough to do what we just did.”

“I feel happy too.” She yawns.

It didn’t take long for either of them to fall asleep after that. 

//

Monday, Y/N got her test back from her Mind, Brain, and Evolution class. Her eyes grew wide when she saw her grade, an 88%! She was ecstatic, and couldn’t wait to tell Harry. She didn’t get to chat with him too much Sunday. He walked her home, kissed her goodbye, and then had to get some things done before his student senate meeting. Why they met on Sunday evenings was beyond her.

It was just her luck that he was at the dining hall for lunch at the same as her. She sets her food down and snatches the test from her bag.

“I’ll be right back ladies, gotta go tell my man how well I did.” She grins.

They all cheer her on as she struts over to him. She was clad in a pair of leggings and a t-shirt, but she still felt cute. She’s felt incredibly cute ever since Saturday night. Harry was deep in conversation with his friends Y/N goes right over to him and wraps her arms around him, shaking the paper in front of his face. It takes him completely by surprise. He snatches the test and he looks up at her.

“Oh my god!” he nearly squeals and stands up to hug her. “This is amazing! I knew you could do it.”

“A B+, I couldn’t believe it! I still can’t, and it’s all thanks to you.” She wraps her arms around his neck, not giving a fuck that his friends were watching, especially that girl Ari.

“It was all you, I’m so proud of you.” He kisses her forehead.

“I better get back over to them so I can eat, but I just couldn’t wait to tell you.”

“I’m glad you came over here. I’ll see you tomorrow at two, right?”

“Mhm.” She smiles.

“Great, celebratory coffee on me then.” He smiles back and kisses her cheek before she walks away.

“So, you’re, like, dating the hockey girl?” Billy asks.

“There’s more to her than that.” Harry says as he sits down. “We’re hanging out.” He shrugs.

“What class are you even tutoring her in?” Ari asks.

“Mind, Brain, and Evolution. She’s actually really smart, she’s a business major. This class is just tricky.”

“I remember taking that last semester with you!” Andrew chimes in. “Think I only passed because we sat next to each other.”

“Now that she’s got a good grade you don’t still need to tutor her do you?” Ari asks.

“No, I’m definitely going to tutor her.”

“Why?”

“You know how when you go on antibiotics and you start to feel better, but you may have like half your pills left to take? You don’t just stop taking them until you feel better, right? You have to take all of your medicine.”

“Yeah, and Harry’s for sure gonna give her that medicine.” Billy teases him.

“Oh, stop. I like her, and she likes me. Thank god, thought I was going to explode from it being one sided.”

“When’s her next game?” Andrew asks.

“Wednesday. We have to make sure we go again. 

//

Harry already has the iced coffees ready to go when Y/N meets him in the café of the library Tuesday afternoon. She was clad in her workout clothes, hair up in a messy bun.

“Thank you.” She smiles and takes the coffee from him.

“I even put the cream and sugar in it for you.”

“I noticed, how kind.” She smirks.

They find a table to go study at and set up. She goes over the new unit and what’s already sort of not making sense to her. Harry goes over his notes, and does his best to explain things to her. After an hour or so, they take a break.

“How have you been feeling?” He softly asks her.

“About what?”

“What we did Saturday night…we haven’t even texted about it, so I didn’t know if you were avoiding the conversation.”

“Oh! I feel really great. Um, I guess I just didn’t know what to say. I’m glad we did it.”

“Me too.” He looks down and then back to her. “It’ll be nice to do it again, right?”

“Mhm.” She smiles and a slight blush covers her cheeks. “Um, I don’t know if you’re coming to the game tomorrow or not, but-“

“I’ll be there.” He cuts her off. “Go on.”

“When we have games during the week we can’t exactly party all night, so we usually go downtown and order a bunch of food. Some of the girls invite their significant others, and, well, if you don’t mind being out a little late I was wondering if you’d wanna come too.”

“I’d love to.”

“Really?!”

“Sure.” He smiles. “Gotta be there for my girl.” He clears his throat. “Let’s get back to it, I don’t wanna make you late for the gym.”

Y/N liked that Harry was always so serious, she may not have before, but now she just thought it was cute. He lets her do some reading for class while he works on his own homework.

“This is nice.” He speaks up.

“What is?”

“Just doing homework together. We could do this more if you want. I’d obviously still tutor you on the clock, but we could get together sometimes to do other homework.” He stops typing and looks at her. “Then we could, uh, see each other more…if you wanted.”

“I’d like that.” She smiles. “I end up doing homework with the girls a lot, but you’re more than welcome to come over and join.”

“Sounds like fun.”

She looks at the time and sighs, closing her laptop and packing up.

“I have to get going.”

“I’m gonna stay here a bit longer, otherwise I’d walk you out.”

“That’s alright.” She leans down and pecks his lips before slinging her bag over her shoulder. “I’ll see you tomorrow for the game?”

“You will.” He smiles brightly. “Bye, love.”

“Bye.”

Y/N had butterflies. This was a dream come true.

//

The ice arena wasn’t as packed as the first home game, but there were still a lot of people there. The thing about women’s ice hockey is that you aren’t allowed to fight, so it’s less exciting than men’s ice hockey. Or, that’s what people say. It was annoying that they couldn’t fight. There were plenty of people that Y/N just wanted to deck while she was out there.

She looks out to the stands and sees Harry with the student senate crew holding up a sign for her. It had her number on it and everything. Harry looked cute in his beanie and sweater. Y/N played great and she loved looking over to see Harry cheering, not that she let it distract her. She was able to assist two goals, and the team won 4-1. It was an incredible game.

After the coach goes over what their next practice will consist of, and his congratulations, he leaves to let the girls change.

“Dinner down at the pub in twenty ladies!” Ashley yells.

Everyone runs to the showers to clean themselves up. Y/N throws on a pair of jeans and a black top. She grabs a light windbreaker and puts some product in her wet hair so it dries nice.

“Is Harry coming down?” Gina asks.

“Mhm, he’s going to meet us down there.” She smiles.

All of the girls walk down together. Ashley called ahead so there were a ton of tables pushed together. Harry was waiting outside the pub, along with some of other significant others. Y/N practically jumps on him.

“Great game.” He says into her neck.

“Thanks! I loved seeing you out there. It’s nice to actually have people cheering for us.” She kisses his cheek and lets him go.

Everyone finds their seats. Ashley and some of the other older girls order different pitchers of beer for the table. It was a college bar so no one was really double checking ID’s, especially on a Wednesday, so Y/N poured herself and Harry a glass of beer. They all cheer and clink their glasses.

Nachos, mozzarella sticks, chicken wings, fires, and anything else that could be thought of were ordered for everyone. Harry fit right in with everyone, already having a small report with Amanda and Gina.

“I still can’t get over this.” Ashley says. “Our little baby Y/N bringing a guy to dinner.”

“Didn’t you come to the party at our house?” Megan asks. “Is that how you two met?”

“No, he’s been tutoring me for a class.” Y/N explains. “He just happened to be at the party last weekend.”

“Well, Harry, you can come anytime. I know it was your idea to get more people at the women’s games.” Ashley says.

“Y/N told me how much it bothered her that senate goes to a lot of the guys’ games, thought it was only fair to support the girls too. Your games are way more fun to watch. You’re really fighting for it out there, you can feel it.”

“Oh, he’s a keeper for sure.” Megan says.

Y/N leans in to Harry and he puts his arm around her. She looks up at him once the attention is off her a bit.

“Do you want to come back to my place for a little bit?” She asks.

“I would, babe, but I have an 8AM, I need to go home after all this, I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. I have an early practice anyways…”

“I can hang out tomorrow night, though. I usually go to the soccer house with Niall and Louis, I’m sure they won’t care if you come.”

“Yeah, that sounds good.” She smiles and so does he. Damn him for being so responsible.

“Plus, I’ll see at two for tutoring, right?”

“Right.”

“I could come to your place for that.”

“I don’t think we’d get much tutoring done if we do that.” She winks at him and it makes him laugh.

Amanda and Gina give a few minutes to kiss Harry goodbye before they need to part ways.

“Sorry.” She tells them, wiping the corners of her mouth. “He’s such a good kisser.”

“Apparently on both sets of lips.” Amanda teases her.

“Stop! I told you that in confidence.”

“I still can’t believe it didn’t make you want to fuck him right after.” Gina says.

“Believe me, I think I’m getting ready for that, but I’m nervous to see it.”

“His dick?” Amanda asks.

“Yeah, I’ve never really seen one before, and I can tell his is big. What if it breaks me in half?” She jokes.

“I bet he’d love to hear that, ask him to break your back.” Gina bursts out laughing.

“You two are annoying.” Y/N groans as they continue their walk to their place.

//

It was hard to get through tutoring for both Y/N and Harry. She wanted him, and he could tell. Every time she looked at him he could see it in her eyes. She was being especially pouty and touchy and it was getting to him. Somehow, they both made it through, and he told her he’d pick her up around nine to bring her to his place to pregame before going to the soccer house.

She gets her workout in, showers, and then makes dinner with Amanda and Gina. The three all get some more homework done before going upstairs to get ready.

“Alright, what am I wearing? Jeans and a crop top?”

“What if you wore like a bralette and some high waisted mom jeans?” Gina asks. “That’s always a look.”

“I don’t know what the vibe is at the soccer house, I don’t want to be too exposed.” She pulls out her mom jeans and a black short sleeve crop top. “I think this could be cute, and I’ll put some waves in my hair.”

“I like it.” Amanda asks. “You’re going to his place first, right?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Assert your dominance and pack an overnight bag. Bring your own toothbrush and pj’s. Show him you’re not afraid to get comfy.”

“You know, that’s not a bad idea. I feel like I’ve been stealing his clothes.” She snatches a string backpack from the floor. “Plus, my drinks won’t clink the bag with some clothes in there. What are you two up to tonight?”

“I think we’re going over to the field hockey house for a bit, and then we’ll see how it goes from there.”

“Nice! That’ll be fun, they always throw great parties.”

The three all finish getting ready, and Y/N packs her hard seltzers into her bag. Harry knocks on the door right at nine, and she flings herself onto him. He chuckles as he kisses her.

“Hey.” He says.

“Hi.”

“Ready?”

“Yup, bye girls!” She yells as she swings the door shut.

When they get into Harry’s she moves to go right up the stairs to his room, but he clutches her wrist.

“Pregame is in the kitchen, babe.”

“I know, I just wanna put my bag in your room first, is that alright?”

“Uh, yeah, of course.” He goes upstairs with her and he watches as she pulls out shorts and a t-shirt, her toothbrush, and her hairbrush.

“It’s okay I brought this stuff, right?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t it be? I want you to be comfortable.”

“Just making sure.” She grabs her bag and they both head downstairs.

She cracks open a seltzer and they all listen to music while they get a little buzzed. Niall and Louis were funny. Harry leaves her down in the kitchen with them for a few minutes while he goes upstairs to put his contacts in. He didn’t like wearing his glasses to parties because one time someone pushed him, they fell off, and broke. His mum wasn’t too happy when she had to ship him a new pair.

“Did you all live together last year too?”

“Nope, I met Harry from class, and we were already on the soccer team together.” Niall says. “They have these mandatory international student meetings, so the three of us sort of just started hanging out. Lou’s a couple years older so we were able to get off campus. The other two, who are literally never here, are international students too. It all sort of just worked out.”

“Harry’s a great roommate too, he cooks a lot.” Louis chuckles.

“Because if I didn’t.” Harry says as he comes back in. “You two would waste your money on shit all the time.” He throws his arm around Y/N’s shoulders and finishes off his drink.

“We ready? It’s ten, gotta get there before they start turning people away.” Louis says.

Everyone agrees, so Harry loads up Y/N bags with some drinks, and out the door they go.

”I have to warn you, the soccer house is gross.” Harry says. “Those guys leave it a mess. It’s huge so it’s great for a party, but you’re better off having a wee in the bushes than using one of their bathrooms.”

“Well, I’m glad I went before we left then.” Y/N chuckles.

They all get inside, and music is already blaring. Y/N recognizes a few of the guys and she gives them hugs. They congratulate her on her win from the night prior. The house packed already, it smelled like various types of smoke, the floors were sticky with god knows what, and there were a fuck ton of guys.

“Y/N you need a drink?” One of them asks.

“No, I brought my own, but thanks!” She follows Harry into another room where things were a bit more chill. They each take a drink out of her bag and crack them open.

The party was fun for the most part, good music was playing, and Harry looked fucking hot. Y/N liked that he clearly had outfits for partying and outfits for school. Tonight he was wearing a blue short-sleeve button up with the first few buttons undone paired with a black pair of skinny jeans that had a few rips in them. He had rings on his fingers and his nails were painted a pastel purple.

Y/N wished she hadn’t been drinking so much because she desperately needed to pee. She wondered if what Harry said was true, if the bathrooms were really that gross. She searches for another girl and leaves his side.

“Hey, this is random, but you wanna go to the bathroom with me?”

“OMG, sure!” She says brightly. The girl had long blonde hair and a tight dress on.

“Thanks!”

That was the one good thing about drunk girls, they were always willing to be a bathroom buddy. The girl tugs Y/N up a set of stairs.

“Less people using this one!” She says over the music.

She was right, no one was upstairs. It was nice to take a break from the loudness. Both girls go into the bathroom and grimace.

“I don’t get this, boys need to sit down to shit, wouldn’t they try to keep it clean?” The girl scoffs and checks her makeup in the mirror.

“Guess I’ll be squatting.” Y/N sighs, and unzips her pants. She squats over the toilet and pees. “Thanks for coming with me, I wasn’t about to ask my…uh, my date to come with me.”

“No problem girl! I need a pee break myself.”

Y/N flushes and stands up all the way, switching spots with the girl so she could pee. Y/N washes her hands and checks her own makeup.

“Who are you here with?” The girl asks as she pulls her panties back, moving to wash her hands.

“Harry Styles.”

“Oh! I’ve seen him around, he’s cute.”

“Very.” They both giggle. “I’m Y/N.”

“I’m Karina.”

They smile and both head out and down the stairs. They wave goodbye to each other as they make their way back to their people. Y/N walks right up behind Harry and wraps her arms around him. He’s surprised at first and then relaxes when he sees it’s Y/N.

“Where’d you go with that girl?!”

“To the bathroom! We used the one upstairs!”

“Did you know her?!”

“Nope!” She laughs and so does Harry.

As the night goes on, Y/N starts to feel dancey and notices other people dancing in one of the larger rooms, so she tugs Harry over and wraps her arms around his neck so they can grind front to front. His hands go right to her hips, and his lips find her cheek and then her neck. One of her hands slides up to his hair to rake through. She noses his jaw to get his attention and suddenly her tongue was in his mouth. He pulls her closer and backs them up towards a wall, pressing her up against it. She wondered, briefly, how many girls Harry had made out with at a party. She knew he had to have fucked a lot. No guy could be that good at eating out without some practice. The jealousy she feels seeps in and she bites down on his lower lip a little too hard. He winces and pulls away for a moment. He catches his breath and looks down at her, moving some hair away from her face.

“Alright?!”

“How often do you do this?!”

“Do what?!”

“Make out with girls at parties! Take those girls home and fuck them!” She wasn’t sure where this was all coming from. Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it was starting to sink in that she gave up a part of herself to someone that she had only known a few weeks.

“Hey! Whoa! Where is this…” He leans in to speak into her ear. “Where is this coming from?”

“I’m just feeling…weird all of a sudden. You have so much experience, and I don’t have a lot, so-“

He moves back to look at her. He cups her jaw and leans in to kiss her. He gives her a few kisses before moving his lips to her ear again.

“Let’s get out of here, then we can talk more, okay?”

She nods yes and he takes her hand. He leads her out of the house, and the chilly night air hits her like a ton of bricks.

“Can you walk alright?” He asks her.

“Can I? Yes. Do I want to? No.”

“Alright, well hop on.” He crouches in front of her.

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah, all aboard.”

She giggles and hops onto his back. She rests her chin on his shoulder and nibbles on his earlobe, making him giggle.

“Thought you were upset with me for a second.”

“I got jealous.”

“Of what, babe?”

“Anyone that’s ever been with you.” She shamelessly admits. “I know that’s dumb.”

“I haven’t been with that many people.”

“It’s none of my business.”

“It is if it’s bothering you, Y/N.”

“You’re just really good at it, and it made me think that you’ve had a lot of practice. Not to mention that everything you do surprises me. I’m still shocked that you’re the type of guy to make out openly at a party.”

“I mean, yeah, I’m a nice guy, but I’m like any other guy sometimes. I’m respectful, but I still wanna have fun.”

He gets to his place and sets her down so he can unlock the door. They both go straight to his room, and they sit on the edge of his bed.

“We were having such a good time, walk me through what happened?” He asks as he gets up to take his contacts out.

“I don’t know, it was like while we were kissing it made me think of how many times you’ve done that sort of thing before. Doesn’t that happen to you with me?”

“Not really.” He sits back down next to her, running a hand through his hair. He kicks his boots off and looks at her. “I’m more or less just lost in you.”

“I think I’m just feeling vulnerable since we haven’t been alone since I was so exposed to you.”

“Shit, I’m sorry. I should have stayed with you last night when you asked me to come home with you.”

“No! It’s okay, we both had to get up early. I’m being dumb and needy.” She shakes her head.

“You’re not being either of those things. We can wait a while to do something like that again if you want.”

“No! I don’t want to wait. I really liked it. I guess, I mean…”

“Are you worried that you’re not the only one?”

“Maybe a little…”

“Babe, I’m not talking to anyone else, I thought it was pretty clear. I’m not in a rush to put a label on anything, but I’m not fucking anyone else, I swear.”

“Okay…”

“I’ve only ever fully been with like six people if that makes you feel better.”

“Harry, I really don’t need to know.”

“I just don’t want you to think I’m some sex maniac. I had sex in high school, and then there were a couple of girls last year, and then a couple people this past summer. If I seem good at it, it’s only because I’m vocal and I ask to make sure things feel good, that’s all.”

“Alright, I’m sorry for being so stupid. I ruined the entire night.”

“You’re not stupid, and you didn’t ruin anything, okay? I’m gonna go get us some water, feel free to change and then we can just watch TV or something.”

“Oh.”

“What?” He asks as he stands up.

“I just thought, you know, you’d want to take my clothes off for me.”

“I mean, I do, but I don’t think that’s a good idea right now. We both had a lot to drink, Y/N.” He gives her a soft smile and leaves to go downstairs.

She sighs heavily and then changes into the pj’s she brought. He comes back and hands her a glass. He starts unbuttoning his shirt the rest of the way.

“I really like what you have on tonight.”

“Yeah? I liked your outfit too. Although, you look pretty cute right now.” He smirks and drags his jeans down his legs and gets onto the bed with a sigh. 

“Oh, do I?”

“Mhm, very cute.” His eyes trail down her body and they grow wide when they get to her legs. “What happened here?” He points to the various bruises on her thighs and shins.

“Oh, it’s just from going to the gym and games and stuff. I always have bruises on me.” She shrugs. “No big deal.”

“Poor thing.” He rubs his hand over one of her thighs.

“It’s really not a big deal.” Goosebumps raise on her skin from his gentle touch. She lays down fully next to him, rolling onto her side to face him. “I like you.”

“I like you too.”

She nuzzles into his chest and he rubs her back. They stay like that for a while, and she starts to hear her breathing level out. He carefully gets up to turn his light off, and goes back to the way he was.

//

The next morning, Y/N wakes up pressed into Harry’s side. He was out like a light. She gets up and grabs her toothbrush and pads out to the bathroom. She gets in and locks the door behind her. She splashes some cool water onto her face, and brushes her teeth. She tip toes back to Harry’s room, and crawls back into bed.

“Where’d you go.” He mumbles as he moves to spoon her.

“Just to the bathroom.” She whispers.

He nuzzles into her back, pressing his pelvis to her ass. He pushes a leg between hers to get especially cozy. She adjusts against him, and things sort of just sped up from there. He started moving against her and the second she whimpered, he was dipping his hand into her shorts.

“Is this okay?” He asks, kissing on the exposed part of her neck.

“Yes.” She breathes.

His fingers rub on her clit at first before going between her folds. He groans when he feels how wet she is. He drags it up to her clit to rub circles on her. She turns over onto her stomach and he follows her, continuing to grind himself against her ass, and rubbing on her clit.

“Fuck, Y/N.”

Hearing him moan her name was doing things to her. She moves her hips along with his, and she starts to feel warm all over. She was moaning into his pillows, and he feels her writhe under him while she comes. He takes his hand away once she’s done, and she rolls onto her back.

“Harry?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I…give you a hand job?”

“You really want to?”

“Yeah, I really do.” She bites her bottom lip and he moves to lay next to her.

“You’re positive?”

“Yes.”

He starts to lower his boxers and he looks at her again. She nods and he gets them of all the way. Her eyes widen. He really was big, and thick too. She sort of knew what to do. She had seen enough porn to know she at least needed to make sure her hand was wet, so she spits into it, and carefully grips him. He hisses from her touch.

“Wanna know what I like?” He asks her.

“Yeah.”

“While you do it, put these fingers over my tip.” He moves her fingers he wants them and then she moves them back and forth while her hand works around him. “Shit, just like that, it’s perfect.”

Y/N can’t help but look at Harry’s perfectly sculpted happy trail that leads down to the small tufts of hair right at his base. His balls weren’t hairy, he clearly did a lot of manscaping. In a bold move she uses her other hand to cup his balls, and his head rolls back into the pillow.

“Is that okay?”

“Yeah, just, like, massage them a little, but not too hard.”

She nods and gives him gentle squeezes while her hand continues to work on him. This wasn’t so bad. She wasn’t sure what she was so nervous about, it was just a penis. She licks her lips and looks at him.

“Can I…put my mouth on it?”

“Fuck, yeah, please.” He grips the sheets as she wraps her lips around his tip. “Just no teeth!” He reminds her at the last second and she pops off.

“How the fuck am I supposed to do that? Unhinge my jaw?”

“No.” He chuckles. “Just try to keep your lips around your teeth or keep your mouth wide. Use your tongue more than anything.”

She nods and goes back down. He has to fight to buck up into her. She only keeps her mouth around his tip, not wanting to go crazy. She pumps the rest of him, drool dripping down her chin.

“Y/N, I’m getting close.”

She keeps sucking on him. When she looks up at him, making eye contact, he loses it. She spurts into her mouth and her eyes widen at the taste. It didn’t taste bad, but it certainly didn’t taste good either. She takes it all, but she sure as shit wasn’t going to swallow. She looks around his room for his trash and when she spots it, she gets off the bed and spits into it. She grabs the glass of water from his desk and swishes it around her mouth before spitting again.

“Sorry.” She breathes. “I just-“

“You’re apologizing? Get your ass over here.” He smirks. She gets back onto the bed and he holds her close. “I wouldn’t have wanted you to swallow it unless you really wanted to. I know it’s a lot to get used to.”

“So, you’re not offended?”

“You just gave me a blow job, I’m not offended at all.” He kisses her forehead. “I’m just gonna go use the bathroom, I’ll be right back.” He grabs his boxers and slips them on and leaves the room.

Y/N snatches her phone and texts in the group chat letting Amanda and Gina know what just happened. She couldn’t wait to get home, she needed to talk about it now. When Harry gets back she nearly throws her phone. She puts her phone down gently and cuddles up to him when he lays back down. He kisses on the top of her head a couple of times and rubs her back.

“That felt really good, by the way.”

“You’re not just saying that?” She pouts up at him.

“Not at all, I’ve been dreaming about you doing that. It was nice to feel the real thing.” His lips curve up as he looks down at her. “You’re a natural, sure you’ve never done that before.”

“Never, I swear.” She giggles. “I’m glad it was good for you.”

“It was fantastic.” He sighs.

After snuggling a little longer, they both decide to get up. Harry makes Y/N some eggs and toast for breakfast before walking her home. They get to her door and he has trouble saying goodbye. His lips just won’t leave hers.

“You have practice today?”

“Mhm, and then an away game tomorrow. We leave early in the morning. I’ll text you when I get home, maybe we can meet up.”

“I’d like that.” He smiles. “So I won’t see you at all tonight?”

“No, we’re not allowed to go out the night before an away game.”

“Fair enough.” He sighs. “Alright.” He kisses her against, sucking on her bottom lip before letting her go. “Can’t wait to hear how the game goes.”

“Thanks, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Bye.”

She goes inside and runs upstairs. She knocks on Amanda’s door before going in and they both squeal. Gina comes in and squeals with them. 

//

It was a rough game. They lost by one goal. The bus was quiet at first, but the coach ended up farting and it made everyone laugh, lightening the mood. They wouldn’t be going out to celebrate tonight, but Y/N knew a few of the girls would be getting together. She was pooped and didn’t feel like drinking. She was sitting in the window seat on the coach bus next to Gina, who was turned talking to one of the other girls, so she takes the opportunity to call Harry. Now that she thinks about it, they’ve never spoken on the phone before. She puts her headphones in and dials his number.

“Hello?”

“Hey.”

“Hey! How was the game, babe?”

“We lost…by one goal.” She sighs.

“I’m sorry, that must not feel great. I watched the live stream, but I was only able to catch the beginning.”

“You…you actually watched part of it?”

“Yeah! I wanted to support you. I had to tutor this afternoon so that’s why I wasn’t able to watch the whole thing.”

“Well, thanks for watching a little…”

“Of course, babe.”

“Um, we should be back to campus in an hour. I need to shower and stuff, and I don’t really feel like going out, but would you wanna come over and cuddle?”

“I’d love to. I’ll bring my laptop so we can watch Disney movies.”

“That sounds amazing. I’ll text you once I’m all set.”

“Sounds good, see you soon.”

Y/N hangs up and taps Gina on the shoulder. She tells her that Harry’s gonna come over and she nods excitedly. She takes the second shower once Amanda is done, and then puts on a pair of comfy sweat pants and throws on a t-shirt. Harry comes over, and she takes him right up to her room.

“What are your roommates up to tonight?”

“Not sure, they’re probably just hanging out too.” They both get onto her bed. “Sorry there’s not as much room as your bed.”

“Are you kidding, this is going to be a great cuddle.”

He sits up against the wall, and has her sit in front of him, placing the laptop at the foot of the bed. They decide on The Goofy Movie. Although, Harry is being very distracting. He rubs Y/N’s shoulders and neck, and then his arms wrap around her waist. He gets up under her shirt, one hand kneading one of her breasts, and the other dips into her sweatpants. He starts kissing on her neck and her head rolls back to his shoulder. She bites her bottom lip as his fingers get inside her underwear and start rubbing at her clit. His middle finger slips inside her and she gasps.

“Alright?” He nips at her earlobe.

“Mhm, don’t stop.” She bites her bottom lip. They’ve both forgotten about the movie, almost thankful it’s just background noise to help muffle things. “M’getting too hot, Harry.” She whines.

He nearly rips her shirt off, exposing her full chest to him. She gets up and wiggles out of her sweatpants. He gets his own shirt off, and then she straddles him. She kisses down his neck and sucks where she pleases.

“I did some thinking last night while you were gone.” He says between pants.

“Oh yeah?” She rolls her hips down on him.

“Yeah.” He grips her hips and moves his up to meet hers. “If I’m only seeing you, and you’re only seeing me, then I think I should just cut the crap and ask you to be my girlfriend, don’t you think?”

“You…I thought the labels-“

“I was being stupid about that. I wanna be your boyfriend, Y/N. Can’t risk anyone else scooping you up. I need you to be mine.”

“I’m already yours.”

“Like, officially though.”

“Okay.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I want you to be my boyfriend too.”

He grabs his phone out of his pocket and goes to change his Facebook status when he realizes something.

“We’re not even friends on here…”

“We’re not?! Could have sworn that happened when you started tutoring me.”

“No, I guess not. Think that was just insta.” He sends her a friend request, and she accepts, and then they both change their statuses. “There, now there’s no question about it.” They both set their phones on the floor, and get back to it.

Their tongues slide against each other as he gropes various parts of her body. Things were getting hot and heavy fast.

“Want you, please.” She whimpers against him.

“What?”

“Please, Harry, fuck me.”

“Y/N…”

“I’m ready, I swear. We’re both sober, I want this. Please, Harry, please fuck me, don’t make me beg.” She pouts. “Fuck, I don’t have any condoms.”

“I…have some in my backpack.” He blushes. “I just keep them in there, I didn’t think anything was going to happen tonight.”

“Well, I’m glad you have some. Do you wanna do this?”

“I do, but only if you’re really sure.”

“I am.” She smiles and he nods. She gets off of him and lies down on the bed while he searches through his backpack.

“Do you want me to finger you some more?”

“No, I really just want your dick.” She slides her underwear down her legs and tosses them to the floor.

His mouth was watering. He strips himself of the rest of his clothes and snatches a condom. He makes sure her door is locked, and closes his laptop before getting on top of her. He opens the foil packet, and rolls the rubber down his length.

“You’re positive?”

“Yes, Harry, I swear.”

“I’ll stop at any second, okay? You just need to speak up.”

“Okay.”

She spreads her legs apart for him, and he leans down to kiss her. He rubs his tip against her clit and through her folds, making sure she’s wet. He starts to push inside her, and all she feels is pressure and stretching. It sort of burned a bit as he did it. She takes a deep breath and digs her nails into his shoulders.

“Almost all the way in, can you take it?”

“Yeah, yeah, I can take it.”

He groans once he’s all the way in. He was so fucking snug inside her, it was a miracle he didn’t nut right then and there.

“You feel so fucking good, Y/N. Are you doing okay?”

“Yeah.” She had a couple of tears in her eyes.

“Are you sure? It doesn’t hurt?”

“It hurts a little, but not enough that I want to stop. I’m just getting used to you. Try moving.”

“Okay.”

He slowly rocks in and out, watching her face to make sure she wasn’t in too much pain. It was crazy, it was a like a switch went off because as soon as he got going with a good pace, it started to feel good. Even the stretching, she liked how it all felt. One of his hands kneads her breast and tweaks her nipple and his lips attach to her neck.

“Okay, babe?” He says into her ear.

“So good, Harry.” She wraps her legs around his back and digs her heels into his ass.

He couldn’t do much with her tonight, he knew that. He couldn’t fuck her from behind or even let her on top, but he could make her feel amazing. He snakes a hand between them and rubs her clit.

“Oh!” She gasps.

“Like that, baby girl?”

“Yes, oh my god, yes, Harry.” She arches up into him. She’s breathing heavily and scratching at his back. She almost felt like she needed to pee, but she knew it was just her orgasm getting ready to wash over her. “Shit, oh fuck, shit!” She cries out as she comes around his cock.

He spills into the condom shortly after, not being able to hold on much longer himself. He pulls out of her slowly, not wanting to hurt her and she winces.

“I know, baby, I know.” He feels terrible, he knew she had to feel sore. He gets up and throws the condom out in her trash and gets back over to her quickly, caressing her cheeks, applying kisses all over her face. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” She smiles and practically melts at his tenderness. “I really need to pee.” She chuckles.

“Alright, let’s getcha to the bathroom then.”

“I can go on my own. Just need a shirt.”

“Take mine.” He grabs it off the floor and hands it to her. He slips his own boxers back on, and helps her stand up.

He watches her waddle out of the room. She winces as she uses the toilet, and she grimaces at the toilet paper when she sees a light pink color. He was so careful with her, extremely gentle, but she was still a virgin at the end of the day. Well, not anymore. She just gave something major to Harry. She waddles back to her room, and smiles when she sees him still half naked, waiting in her bed.

“Do you want the side with the wall, or-“

She practically jumps on top of him, and she attacks him with kisses. They both giggle and then she settles to lay on top of him for a bit. He rubs her back and soothes her as best he can. He gets up to use the bathroom, and when he comes back they decide to finish their movie and spoon before falling asleep.

//

Harry held Y/N all night. She felt extremely safe in his arms, and it was exactly what she needed after doing something so big for her. She adjusts against him, and he gives her kisses on the back of her neck and she smiles. She turns over and buries her face in his chest. He strokes her back and kisses the top of her head. He was being careful with her, knowing that she would need some extra reassurance.

“How are you feeling?” He finally asks, his voice still thick with sleep.

“I’m okay.” She mumbles. “A little sore, but I’ll be alright.”

“I tried not to be too rough with you, I’m sorry.”

She looks up at him and smiles.

“You weren’t rough at all…I probably should have let you finger me a little more beforehand. I just really wanted you.”

“Can’t blame you for that.” He smirks and she swats a hand at his chest. “Kidding.”

“Mhm, sure you were.”

“Do you have plans today?”

“Just homework and stuff. I’m dreading our practice tomorrow morning, the coach is gonna ride us for losing.” She sighs.

“It was your first loss, right?”

“Yeah, so it’s not terrible, but it could easily be the start to a losing streak, so we need to prevent that.” They both shift so Harry’s on his back, and she’s got her head on his chest. “Why? Did you want to do something?”

“Well, I was thinking I could go back to my place and shower, and then I could come back here to do homework or something…we could get brunch at the dining hall.”

“God, I love brunch at dhall. Could I invite Amanda and Gina? They’ll be jealous.”

“Sure! I don’t care.” He kisses her forehead and gets up. She watches him stretch, and he gets his clothes on. “Wanna just meet over there in, like, an hour?”

“Works for me.”

“Alright, see you in a bit.” He leans down and pecks her lips before slipping out.

Just as she’s getting out of bed, and putting some shorts on, Gina and Amanda burst into her room.

“You guys wanna come to the dining hall with us in a bit?” Y/N asks with a smug look on her face.

“Yes, but we have more important things to discuss.” Amanda says. “What the hell happened in here last night?”

“Oh god, did you guys hear anything?”

“Only a little.” Gina says. “I just put headphones in.”

“Okay, so this is going to sound like he and I have bene moving fast, well, I guess we have been, but…we had sex last night.”

“Like full on?!” Amanda asks. The three sit on the bed together.

“Yeah, he was like rubbing up on me and stuff, and we were making out, and I told him I wanted to. He was so sweet, he kept asking me if I was sure and everything.”

“Did you make sure to pee after?” Gina asks.

“Yeah…and I think I bled a little…I’m a little sore. He was so sweet on me, though, like he took it really slow.”

“Did it hurt while he was doing it?” Amanda asks.

“A little in the begging, like when he first put it in, and then all of a sudden it started to feel really good. I think he was hitting my g-spot or something. He rubbed my clit too, I didn’t know an orgasm could feel so good.” She blushes. Her and the girls have had plenty of these conversations, so it wasn’t that weird to be so open, but just thinking about the previous events was making her feel an ache between her legs.

“Good for you! And he asked to go to the dining hall with you?” Gina asks.

“Yeah, he asked me if I had plans today. He held me all night too. We, like, made things official last night…on Facebook…”

“Oh shit!” The girls say and both take their phones out. They like the status update.

“I’m gonna go shower quick, and then we can get ready to go?” Y/N asks.

“Definitely.” Amanda says.

They both watch Y/N stand up. She breathes funny for a second and then she sneezes.

“Ow! Oh my god!” She grabs at her lower stomach.

“What happened?” Gina asks, concerned.

“Felt like my vagina was gonna fall out.” Y/N says and they all start laughing. “Fuck, this is going to be a long day…”

//

Harry really liked Y/N’s friends. They were chill, but blunt. He knew Y/N must have filled them in on the night prior, but he didn’t mind. He knew the first time was a big deal for anyone, his certainly was, even if it was when he was seventeen.

“Harry, you’re on senate right?” Gina asks.

“Yeah.” He smiles. “Why?”

“Is it true you guys have these really long meetings on Sunday nights?”

“Mhm.” He sighs. “We meet up at five, and we all have to be dressed up because sometimes different staff and faculty come to the meetings, so we need to look professional. I’ve been there as late as 10PM sometimes. Certain motions take forever to get through, it’s annoying. The only perk is that we get food provided.”

“And that’s why you get a lot of your homework done on Saturdays, right?” Y/N says.

“That’s right.” He smiles at her.

“How come you wanted to on senate and not join a normal club?” Amanda asks.

“I wanted to be involved with how things are done on campus.” Harry shrugs. “I was on student senate in high school, so I wanted to continue with it here.”

“What made you want to study at an American university? Aren’t schools way less expensive where you’re from?” Gina asks.

“They can be. I just thought this would be a good time for me to get away and travel. It makes me appreciate home more when I go back.”

“Makes sense.” Gina says. “I’m actually from Florida, and only came up here to play hockey.”

“Same here, I’m from California.” Amanda tells him.

“I think I’m one of the few in-state students on our team.” Y/N says.

“That’s cool though that this school has such a good hockey program that you wanted to come here.”

After lunch, Harry comes back to Y/N’s apartment, and they all hang out to do homework in the living room. When 4PM hits he explains he needs to go home so he can get ready for senate.

“Thanks for hanging out today, it was nice.” Y/N says as they stand in the doorway.

“Yeah, it was.” He puts his thumb and forefinger on her chin to tilt her chin up. He leans down and gives her a nice, slow kiss. “When do I see you next?”

“I don’t know…Tuesday for tutoring?”

“Works for me.”

“I mean, I’m sure we’ll talk before then.”

“Most likely.” He grins.

“Okay, well, have a god senate meeting.”

“Thanks.” He gives her another kiss before heading out.

“He’s, like, dreamy.” She says to the girls when she walks back into the living room. “I think I’ll keep him around.” She giggles with them.

//

Harry was just finishing getting his tie on for the senate meeting, and he thinks to send Y/N a mirror selfie so she could see what he has to wear. He puts a pout on his face and puts a caption on it asking her to just kill him. Joking, of course.

When she gets the DM, she bites her bottom lip. She thought he looked really good. So she told him that, well she told him he looked really sexy, and that was just about all he needed to stay distracted for his entire meeting.

“Harry?”

“Hm?”

“What’s your vote on giving Awesome Weekends more funding?”

“Oh, yeah, sorry. Um, I just think if we do this we need to see some return on investment. I want to make sure that students actually go to the events they put on. The money should go towards more advertising and stuff like that. I mean, but just word of mouth we were able to get more people at sporting events. The events Awesome Weekends put on aren’t exactly always awesome.”

“They’ve proposed more free skate nights.” Billy says. “Off-setting the cost of rentals. That’s why a lot of students don’t go to that normally. They’re also working on more movie nights, and late night dining.”

“Alright, I vote yes then, but it needs to be a trial basis. We need to see how it works. If they want the same amount of money next year then they can say why they deserve it in allocations this spring like everyone else.”

“I agree with Harry.” Ari says. “I say we boost it now, but let it be clear that if they want more next year, they’ll have to ask for it during allocations like everyone else.”

“Thanks.” He whispers to her.

“No problem.” She smiles.

“Alright, let’s take a fifteen minute break.” The senior class president says.

“You’re a little distracted tonight, are you alright?” Ari asks Harry.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He says, taking out his phone. Y/N had sent him a selfie of her own, snuggled up in bed, and he smiles at it. “These meetings just go on forever sometimes. My girlfriend’s already in bed for Christ’s sake.”

“It’s only 9:30…wait, did you just say girlfriend?”

“Yeah, made it official with her last night.” He smiles dreamily.

“The girl from the hockey team?!”

“Um, yeah…why?”

“I…well, no offense, but she just seems sort of frumpy for you, Harry.”

“Frumpy? That’s sort of rude, Ari.” He frowns. “I think she’s really pretty.”

“I just meant, like, she’s always wearing sweats and stuff.”

“A lot of people on teams do that. What do you care how she dresses anyways?” 

“I just think people should care more about how they look before they leave for the day.”

“You’ve never seen her dressed up for a party then, because-“ He cuts himself off. “You know what, I don’t need to do this. I like her, she’s my girlfriend, and that’s it. As my friend, I hope you’d be happy for me.”

“I’m ecstatic.” She huffs and gets up to grab some more water.

“I don’t like her attitude at all.” Harry says to Andrew.

“Dude…she has a thing for you, and you just rubbed a new relationship in her face. I was sort of hoping she’d stop liking you when you brought Y/N over for that movie night, but I guess not.”

“She what?!” He whisper screams. “Why didn’t she say anything?”

“Probably because she knew you didn’t like her back. She’s had a thing for you since last year.”

“Shit, I feel terrible.” He looks over at Ari and then back to Andrew. “Should I talk to her?”

“No, she’d probably just be embarrassed. You said you’re official with Y/N now, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Then she just need to accept it. She’ll move on now that she knows she really doesn’t have a chance.”

“Ari’s really nice, and pretty in her own right, I just like sportier girls, I always have.”

“Hey, I think Y/N’s hot, so you don’t have to explain it to me.” He smirks.

“Don’t ever say that to me again…but thanks.”

It was nearly 10:30 by the time Harry got back to his apartment. He goes straight to his room and flops onto his bed. He groans and then changes out of his nice clothes, and goes to do his nightly routine in the bathroom. He gets settled in bed, and takes his phone out.

Harry: goodnight, Y/N, sweet dreams <3

Y/N gets the text and nearly squeals. Harry was so sweet.

Y/N: night! <3

//

Y/N groans when her alarm goes off at 6AM. Sometimes she really hated having early ice times, but nonetheless she gets up and puts her warm ups on. She grabs her phone and decided to be a little cute.

Y/N: morning, Harry! Hope you have a great day :)

She gets her gym bag together, and meets Amanda and Gina downstairs. They each grab a granola bar, and head out the door.

Harry wakes up at 6:15 to get ready to go to the gym. His heart skips a beat when he sees Y/N’s good morning text, and the smile on his face grows wider as he rereads it.

Harry: morning, love, hope coach doesn’t go too hard on you

He looks outside and sees that it’s pretty nice out, and decides to just go for a run. Harry liked getting his workout over with in the mornings. It gave him a lot of energy for the day, and once it was done, it was done.

Coach had the girls sprint across the ice way too many times, and then he had them work on their slap shots. They scrimmaged until they couldn’t scrimmage anymore. He said that they better get it together for their next away game Wednesday. They needed to be able to win on the road, not just at home.

Y/N was drenched in sweat, as were the other girls. She peels her padding off and the rest of her clothes, and hops into the shower. She needed to look nice for one of her business classes today, so she puts on a pair of tan nylons to cover her legs. It was getting colder, but it wasn’t quite black-tights seasons yet. Then she puts on a green short-sleeve blouse, and pairs it with a black pencil skirt that comes to right above her knees. This was her “fancy” skirt for presentations. She straightens her hair and puts some makeup on, and then slips in her black flats. Amanda and Gina were dressed up too.

“We better get points for looking so nice, or I’ll kill this professor.” Gina says.

“Right? Like, there has to be style points.” Y/N says.

“Let’s just get up to campus and get this over with.” Amanda says. “A presentation at 8:15, who the fuck thought that was a good idea?”

The girls crushed their presentation, of course, but Y/N didn’t have time between her other classes to change, so she just toughs it out. She figures after lunch she can run home quickly to change into her workout clothes.

Andrew and Ari were in line at the dining hall, waiting to get sandwiches when they see Y/N walk by with some of the other hockey girls.

“What were you saying about her being frumpy?” Andrew says to her, nudging her arm.

“Stop it.” She groans. “I’m embarrassed enough for how I acted last night. I’m lucky Harry’s even sitting next to me.”

Y/N accidentally bumps into someone while she’s getting herself a glass of water.

“I’m so sorry, I…oh, hi, Harry.” She beams.

“Y/N, hi.” He blushes when he looks her up and down. “You look, um, nice.”

“Thanks, I had this stupid presentation for my marketing class this morning, and I haven’t had a chance to change yet. Hoping to after lunch.” They both walk into the dining area together. “I have like an hour before my next class so I’m gonna eat quick and head back.”

“Do you…want some help changing out of all that?” He asks, stepping close so no one hears him.

“Um…”

“I’m sitting right over there, come grab me when you’re done eating, yeah?”

“Okay.”

He smiles and kisses her cheek before walking away. Y/N goes over to sit down with her friends, face completely flushed.

“Are you alright?” Ashley asks.

“Yeah, um, I think I just made a dick appointment, so I can’t stay long.”

“Oh my god!” Ashley squeals. “Damn, with Harry?”

“Yeah.” Y/N smiles. “I told him I was going to change after lunch and he just asked me if I needed help.”

“Oh, shit!” Amanda laughs. “What a fuckboy thing to say, but damn, I don’t think I’d say no either.”

“He’s, like, way more smooth than I ever would have thought.”

Y/N only eats about half of her lunch out of nerves, and then says goodbye to everyone. She walks over to Harry’s table, and clears her throat. He looks over at her and smiles, getting up with his empty dishes. He says goodbye to his friends and walks out with Y/N. They put their dishes away, and then he grabs her hand, intertwining their fingers.

“This is okay, right? I’m not being too pushy?”

“No, I…I want you to come over.”

“Okay.” He smiles and they both walk a little faster to the student apartments.

Y/N nervously keys inside and they both run up to her room. She slams it closed and locks it, and the next thing she knows she’s being pinned up against it. Harry presses his front to hers, and groans into their kiss.

“Is this okay?” He breathes before moving to suck on her neck.

“Yes.” Her hands move to undo his pants. “Is this?”

“Yes.” He steps back to take his shirt off and wiggle out of his pants.

He grabs her and his hands slide to her ass to unzip the back of her skirt. It falls to the ground, pooling at her feet. He lifts her shirt overhead, and quickly unhooks her bra.

“Christ, you’re so fucking beautiful.” He leads her over to her bed, and lays her down. His fingers hook into her panties and he slides them down her legs. He licks his lips when he’s presented with her center. “You don’t mind if I have a little dessert, do you?”

“Please, indulge.” She leans up on her elbows to watch as he dives right in. “Oh, fuck.” Her head rolls back, and her hands rake through his hair.

He licks her up and down and moves his face from side to side. He sucks on her clit, and slides his middle finger inside her. She winces for a moment, and he pops off her to look at her.

“Are you still sore?”

“Um…only a little…but I really want you to keep going.”

“I don’t wanna do it if it’s gonna hurt.”

“Please, Harry? I really want you to fuck me again.”

“I just wish I had some lube or something to help soothe you…we’ll have to buy some.” He says more so to himself than to her before licking over her clit again. He does the next best thing, and just wells up some spit and lets it fall from his tongue to her center. She whimpers and he looks up at her. “Like that?”

“Yeah…it was sort of sexy…”

He does it again and then slides his middle finger back inside her. He’s able to get a second finger in, and he curls them both up against that spongey spot of her front wall. He uses his other thumb to rub around her clit. He looks up at her and can’t help but smirk when he sees her head rolled back into the pillow.

“Can tell you’re close, love, you gonna come for me?”

“Shit, oh my god, yes!” She cries out. His words put her over the edge and she comes around his fingers. He goes over to his backpack to grab a condom, and takes his boxers off so he can roll it on. He gets back on the bed between her legs.

 “You know, I never asked, are you on the pill or anything? I don’t mind using condoms, I’m just curious.”

“Yeah, I’m on the pill.” She puts her hands on his shoulders and smiles.

He hums his response and lines himself up with her. He starts to push inside, but he stops.

“Why’d you stop?” She pouts.

“Just wanted to make sure you still wanted to.”

“I do! Please, just keep going.”

He nods and slowly pushes inside her. He grunts once he’s all the way in, and stays there a moment before pulling out and pushing back in. Her mouth falls open from the pleasure.

“That feels really good.” She says, pressing kisses to chest.

“Yeah? Like it like this, babe?”

“Mhm.”

He continues to carefully thrust in and out of her. She bites her bottom lip, and decides to let him know how she’s feeling.

“Could we…could I…um…”

“What is it, baby? Tell me what you want.”

“What if I got on top?”

“You sure you wanna try that now? When’s your class?”

She looks off to her clock.

“I’ve got thirty minutes, plenty of time.”

“Alright.” He pulls out and switches spots with her. He sits up against the wall and waits for her. She gives him a funny look. “What?”

“Aren’t you supposed to lay down?”

“Not necessarily, I wanna help you, just come here.”

She crawls into his lap, and lines herself up with him. They both look down as she slowly sinks down on him. Her eyes flutter closed for a moment to get used to it. He helps her wraps her legs around his waist, and his hands grip her ass. She wraps her arms around his shoulders and he slowly thrusts up into her. Her eyes snap open when she feels how deep he’s able to go.

“Oh my god.” She looks at him. “Do that again.”

He slots his lips over hers and gets a rhythm going. She does her best to move along with him, but she doesn’t mind that he’s doing a lot of the work. She sucks his bottom between her teeth before moving to nibble on his earlobe.

“Harry.” She whines.

“Feels good?”

“Feels so good.” She bites down right on the crook of his neck and he groans.

His hands grip harder on her ass he moves her a little faster. Her clit was rubbing against him in the most perfect way, and she could feel another release approaching. She grips at his hair and tugs hard as she cries out into his chest. He spills into the condom as she comes down from her high. They both take a minute to sit there. He holds her close to him and rubs her back. He kisses her temple and then moves to her now puffy lips. He gives her a soft smile when he sees her mascara had run a bit. He uses his thumbs to help clean up under eyes, and it makes her giggle.

“I’ll just use a makeup wipe.” She pecks at his lips and slowly gets off him. “Blegh, I don’t like the way that feels at all.”

“It’s cause you’re so sensitive, babe.” He gets up and rids himself of the condom, putting his boxers and other clothes back on. He watches as she grabs a towel to wrap around herself.

“Mm, right, I forgot you were a sexologist.” She rolls her eyes. “I’m just gonna pee, I’ll be right back.”

She’s back in a couple minutes and he watches her rifle through her workout clothes. She settles on a pair of cropped leggings, a sports bra, and a t-shirt. She flips her hair over and puts it up in a messy bun, and then grabs a makeup up wipe to get everything off. She sits down next to him to lace up her sneakers.

“I’m not a sexologist.” He mumbles.

“I know, I was being sarcastic.” She smirks.

“I’m aware.” He sits back on her bed and she looks at him. “I did take a women’s health class last year, though, and we talked about things that can happen after sex, so that’s the only reason why I know that.”

“Why in the fuck did you take a women’s health class, Harry?” She nearly laughs.

“I don’t know, my mum said it would be a good idea…and it counted towards one of my gen eds. I actually learned a lot. You ladies, uh, have a lot to deal with.”

“Were there other boys in the class?”

“A couple. I mostly kept to myself, I didn’t want anyone thinking I was there just to meet girls or anything.”

“Tell me, what else did you learn?” She was intrigued now.

“Basically everything that goes on with your body from birth to death.”

“Is that how you learned to be so go in bed?” She blushes.

“No, but please, keep inflating my ego.” He grins. “How are you feeling right now?”

“Good, I may refrain from doing squats because my legs feel like jelly, but other than that, no complaints.” She leans back to kiss his cheek. “I have time to get it together during class anyways.” She looks over at her click. “Which I need to get to now.”

She stands up and so does he. He wraps his arms around her from behind and gives a squeeze before letting her go. As she walked to class she couldn’t wipe the smile off her face. She could definitely get used to having a boyfriend.

//

Things went on like this for a few a weeks. Harry and Y/N would meet up when they could for homework dates, keeping their actual tutoring sessions at the library so no funny business would happen. When they were alone, it was on just about every time. He tried to livestream her away games, and he was at every single one of her home games. When she gave him one of her jerseys from the previous year to wear, he tackled her and showered her with kisses. He wears it to all her home games now.

“You don’t have a game Saturday night, right?” He asks her one evening while doing homework.

“Nope, just during the afternoon, why?”

“There’s going to be free skate Saturday night, would you wanna go? I sort of have to be there for senate. I’ll understand if you won’t feel like it.”

“No! That sounds like fun. I never get to skate just for the hell of it. What time does it start? My, um, mom is coming to the game Saturday and she’s going to want to get dinner afterwards.”

“It starts at eight, and you’re mum’s coming?”

“Mhm.”

“Will I get to meet her?”

“Do you want to?” She raises an eyebrow at him.

“I think I should, you’re my girlfriend after all. Does she know about me?”

“Of course she does! I told her a week or so after we made things official. She’s going to sit in the parent’s section most likely…”

“I don’t mind not sitting with the usual people I go with. It would give me some time to chat with her if I sit with her. I wanna make a good impression.”

“You’re so sweet.” She smiles.

“Your siblings aren’t coming?”

“Nah, they’ll hang back to watch the bar.”

“Cool, well, I’m excited. What have you told her about me?”

“I told her how smart you are and how we met because you’re tutoring me.” She shuffles his papers and laptop away to crawl into his lap. “And I told her how sweet you are, and how you always walk me home when it’s late, and stuff like that.”

“Oh.” He wraps his arms around her waist.

“And I told her about your major, and how you’re on senate, and that you’re an all-around good person. I sent her a picture of you and she agreed that you’re very cute.”

Harry can’t help but smile while he presses his lips to hers.

“The tattoos didn’t throw her off?”

“Not at all.” She scoffs. “My mom is pretty chill for the most part. She just wants me to be happy, and I am, so it’s no skin off her nose.”

“I told my mum about you too, you know. I told about how nice you are and how passionate you are about hockey, and how bright you are.”

“Oh, stop.”

“I mean it! I really admire you, Y/N. It takes a lot of work to balance being a student-athlete.”

“Thanks, Har.” She pecks his lips and nuzzles into his neck.

//

On Saturday, Harry explains to his friends that he’ll be sitting on the parent side of the arena to meet Y/N’s mom. He has the jersey that Y/N gave him on, so he wasn’t hard to find. He feels a tap on his shoulder just as he’s getting some ketchup onto his hotdog. He turns around and looks down to see a woman who sort of looked like Y/N.

“Hi, are you Harry? I could only assume since you’re wearing a jersey with my daughter’s name on it.”

“Yeah! Hi, are you Mrs. Y/L/N?”

“Mhm, please, just call me Angie.” She gives Harry a gentle hug. “It’s so nice to meet you, Y/N told me so much about you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too. Did you want anything from concessions before we go in?”

“Oh, no, I’m all set, but thank you.” She smiles. “I’m so excited, this is the first game I’ve been able to get to all season. I heard you’ve been to every single one.”

“It’s important to support the women’s teams just as much as the men’s.”

“Well, I know how much it means to Y/N, so thank you.”

He follows her into the arena and they sit in a row a few up from the glass. Harry finishes his hotdog and tosses his trash into a nearby bin. Everything goes dark, and lights start flashing. The crowd cheers for both teams as they come onto the ice. Harry cheers and claps for Y/N, and so does her mother.

Y/N assists a goal, and the crowd goes wild. Later on she’s sent to the penalty box for knocking someone over, to which she argued with the ref about, to which Harry had to fight the blood rushing to his dick watching her get fired up. She sits there for the two minutes, and gets back on the ice. Harry chats with Y/N’s mom between periods, and the girls end up winning 3-1. It was a good game.

“I’m glad it’s over, I was really starting to get cold.” She chuckles as they go out to the lobby. “I was planning to take Y/N for a bite to eat once she’s done, would you like to join us?”

“Oh, I don’t wanna impose on your alone time…”

“Don’t be silly! You’re welcome to join, I’m sure she’ll love it.”

“Thanks, yeah, if she’s cool with it I’d be happy to join.”

Twenty or so minutes go by before Y/N emerges in the lobby. She had some ice wrapped around her shoulder, and a huge smile on her face when she sees her mom.

“Mum!” She runs over to her and they hug.

“Hi, sweetie.” She kisses her cheek. “What’s wrong with your shoulder?”

“Nothing, the trainer just wanted it wrapped up.” She shrugs and goes over to hug Harry.

“Great game.” He says.

“Thanks.” She smiles and kisses his cheek. “Do you wanna join us for dinner?”

“Yeah, that’d be great.”

“Perfect, how does Chinese sound?” Her mom asks.

“Works for me.” Y/N says.

“Sounds good.” Harry says.

“Harry, I’ll need to go ready at my place before free skate. Ashley’s having a…get together tonight.”

“That’s fine, I’ll wanna change to.”

They tell each other as they climb into Angie’s car. She laughs to herself and shakes her head at Y/N.

“What?”

“You can just say you’re going to a party. You just won a game, of course you guys are gonna celebrate tonight.” She nudges her.

The three enjoy a nice Chinese buffet. Angie is able to get to know Harry a little more, and Y/N eats it up. Harry knew how to speak with adults since he had to do it often for student senate. He was definitely making a good impression.

“Want to just drop you off at your apartment, honey?”

“That’d be great mom, thanks.”

Angie gets out of the car to give Y/N a big hug and kiss goodbye, and she gives Harry a hug as well. Y/N keys into her apartment, and brings Harry upstairs with her.

“It shouldn’t take me too long, and then we can go to your place.”

“Take your time, we don’t need to be the first people there.” He says, settling to lounge on her bed.

He watches as she picks out a pair of ripped mom jeans and a long sleeve white crop top. She heard him laugh and she turns her head.

“What?”

“What’s the point of that having sleeves if half your stomach isn’t covered?”

“It’s going to be cold on the ice, and hot at Ashley’s. I’m just trying to help myself out for both scenarios.” She takes her hair out of its messy bun and shakes it out. She runs her straightener through it quickly, and then changes. She puts a little makeup on and looks at Harry. “Well?”

“Look good enough to eat, babe.”

“Don’t start.” She giggles. “Let’s go, you take longer than me to change.”

“I do not.” He says with fake offense.

“Yes, you do.” She boops his nose and tugs him out of her room.

“We’re going to free skate tonight, and then we’ll come to Ashley’s.” She says to Amanda, peeping her head into her room.

“Okay, we’ll see you later, have fun!”

Y/N and Harry make their way to his apartment, and head up to his room. He puts his contacts in, and peels his jersey and undershirt off. He finds a short-sleeve button up in his closet and throws that on with some jeans. He finds a jacket to wear over it and puts his beanie back on.

“Alright, ready?”

“Mhm.”

They make their way to the ice arena and get their skates. There was a small line which Harry was happy to see. He watches as Y/N nimbly laces up her skates, and she looks at him.

“Do you want some help with those?” She asks.

“Would you mind? I feel like I can never get them tight enough.”

“The trick is tug them down here first.” She kneels in front of him and it makes him blush to see her basically on her knees before him. “See? Feel the difference?” She looks up at him innocently.

“Um, yeah.” He swallows and she ties up his other skate. “Thanks.”

“No worries.”

She helps him up and they make their way onto the ice. There was a good amount of people skating, and there was music playing. Harry looks over to see his friends from senate.

“Hold my hand?” He asks and she giggles, taking it without question. They both gently glide their way over. “Nice turn out, huh?” He says to Andrew and Billy.

“Yeah! Awesome Weekends really pulled it together.” Billy says.

“I think the free cocoa and popcorn was nice a touch.” Andrew points over to small station off to the side of the arena. “Hi, Y/N, that was a great game earlier.”

“Oh! Thanks.” She smiles.

“I thought your penalty was bullshit, that girl nudged you first.” Billy says.

“That’s what I said! This is why they should just let us fight each other, it’s so annoying.”

“Where’s Ari?” Harry asks, looking around.

“Ah! She’s here with Scott Paxton.” Andrew points to the other end of the rink. “My jaw dropped when I saw her walk in with him.”

“Oh good, I’m glad she’s got a date.” Harry says relieved.

“Well, are we going to stand around, or are we skating?” Y/N asks.

“Aren’t you tired?” Billy asks.

“Not at all! I never get to just fuck around on the ice.”

She starts skating backwards to the beat of the song that’s playing, and Harry glides towards her, taking her hands in his.

“How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Skate backwards.”

“Oh! It’s easy!” She frees her hands from him and skates around him so she’s behind him, hands on his hips. “It’s just like skating forwards, only backwards.”

“You’d be a horrible tutor, Y/N.” Harry chuckles.

“Shut up! You’ll see what I’m saying, just move with me, I’ve got you.”

He looks over his shoulder so he can see what they’re doing, and he watches as she moves her legs and he tries to do the same.

“See! You’re getting the hang of it.”

“Just don’t let go.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Y/N ends up skating around a bit while Harry talks with some of the student senate people towards the end of the event, but all in all they had a great time together. She helps him get his skates off, and he sighs with relief.

“I don’t know how you wear these all the time.” He says he gets his boots back on.

“You just get used to it.” She shrugs and stands up. “Ready to go have some more fun?”

“Mhm.” He takes her hand as they walk out of the arena, and towards Ashley’s apartment. “Did you have fun?”

“Yeah! It was great.”

“It was like being on a little date, huh?”

“Mhm.” She smiles up at him. “You looked cute skating.”

“Did I? Thought I looked like an idiot.”

“Oh stop, you’re decent enough for someone who doesn’t skate every day of their life.”

“Last year I took one of those one credit courses so I could take a skating lesson. That’s the only reason I didn’t fall flat on my ass.” This makes Y/N laugh and loop her arm through Harry’s to keep him close. “I liked the way you hung onto me to show me some stuff.”

“See, I ended up being a pretty decent teacher after all. Our methods are just different.”

They get to Ashley’s and head right in. She tells them they can leave their jackets in the hall closet if they want, and then head into the kitchen. Y/N was allowed to have whatever alcohol she wanted, and by proxy, so could Harry. He makes them up some vodka cranberries, and they both head downstairs to join a game of beer pong.

Y/N goes off to hang out with her friends, and Harry does the same, knowing a few people at the house. She does some shots with them and makes her way back over to Harry, tugging him away to come dance with her. She grinds her ass against his pelvis, and his hands press into her hips. She loved that Harry wasn’t one of those guys that was too scared to dance. It made going to parties with him so much more fun. After a couple of songs, she can feel how incredibly hard he is against her.

“Yours or mine tonight?” He asks as he nips at her neck. Her arm hooks up around him so she can tug at his hair. Her head falls back to his shoulder.

“Yours, want the bigger bed.”

“Yeah? Wanna have a little more room, babe?”

“Mhm.” She nearly whines.

“You ‘bout ready to go?”

“Yeah, take me home, baby.” She pouts at him.

He lets her walk in front of him to hide his boner as they grab their jackets. He gives her a piggy-back ride back to his place, and he gets her inside, up the stairs, and into his room. They both kick off their shoes, and once their jackets are off, she’s on him. Her tongue licks its way into his mouth and he happily sucks on it, loving the way he could taste the cranberry juice from her mixer.

Her hands slide down his torso, unbuttoning his shirt the rest of the way, and then she tugs at his belt. His hands grope her ass and then her breasts before pulling her shirt off. He places needy kisses down her chest before getting her bra off, and tackling her onto the bed. She giggles as she gets a little more comfortable.

“Want me to suck on it first, Harry?”

“Please.” He flops next to her and she straddles him. She kisses down his chest and undoes his pants. She tugs his hard cock out and puts her mouth right on him.

He bucks his hips up slightly as she pumps what she can’t fit. She tugs his pants and boxers down further so she can grip onto his thighs. His hands rake through her hair to keep it back for her.

“So fucking good, Y/N.” He bites his bottom lip as he watches her bob her head up and down. She moans around him as a response, and he nearly loses it. “I’m gonna come if you keep doing that, and I’d like to fuck you, so.” He pulls her head off him, and his mouth falls open when he sees the string of spit between his tip and her bottom lip. “Christ.” He yanks her up to him and crashes their mouths together.

He bites and sucks on her bottom lip, and she rolls her hips down on him. He winces, not liking the way her jeans feel against his bare dick. He gets her on her back to get her pants off. Once they’re both naked, he hovers over her so he can kiss her lips again, sliding his fingers between her folds. She gasps when she feels two fingers slide inside her. He twists and curls them and it has her moving her hips along the same way. He watches her face and love the way she makes eye contact with him.

“You like that, babe?” He asks.

“Yes, fuck, don’t stop.” She pleads with him as if he would ever be so mean to tease her and pull his fingers away. He’d give her anything she wanted, she never needed to beg.

He kisses on her neck while his thumb rubs against her clit. She scratches at his shoulders, and she moans out his name. He takes his fingers away and kisses her before reaching for a condom.

“Har?”

“Yeah?” He asks as he rolls it on.

“Would you bend me over the bed?”

“Y/N, if you’re fucking with me I’m gonna be super pissed.” He glares at her.

“I’m not! I mean it, please! I like when we do it from behind, I just wanna try it this way.”

“Alright, get up.” He helps her off the bed, and then she bends over in front of him, propping herself up on her elbows. She wiggles her bottom at him, and he gives her a little smack, making her giggle. “Ready?”

“Mhm, give it to me.”

He lines himself up and pushes inside. She moans out lowly. He starts out by gripping her hips, rocking in and out of her. He wanted to ease her into it.

“I can handle more, Harry, it’s okay.”

“Want it harder, baby?”

“Please.”

He pulls out almost all the way and slams back inside her. Her mouth falls open, and she grips the blankets as he does it over and over. He has to grip onto the back of her neck to keep her in place once he gets an even pace going. All she could hear was his skin slapping against hers. His other hand slips around to rub on her clit and she backs up against him.

“Think you can fuck yourself on my cock while I rub on you?”

“I can try…” She was so fucking wet just from hearing him say that. She moves forward and back, on and off his cock while he rubs on her clit.

“That’s it, babe, use me.”

“Jesus, Harry.” She groans, and bites her bottom lip so she could concentrate. “Oh my god.”

He presses further into her while she backed up on him. She loses it then. He has to move one of his hands over her mouth to muffle her screams. He spills into the condom, the feeling of her squeezing around him did him in. He kisses the backs of her shoulders before pulling out and getting rid of the condom. She collapses onto the bed.

“Alright?” He rubs her back and helps her the rest of the way up.

“Yeah, that was just…wow.” She looks up at him. “I need to pee.”

She looks around and finds her jersey that he was wearing earlier. She was much more comfortable going by herself now, so she waddles out of his room. He can’t help but grow hard again. She just looked so sexy only in her jersey. She comes back in looking freshly fucked and she raises an eyebrow at him.

“What?”

“Nothing…um…” His face was flushed and her eyes flick down to his hard cock and back to his eyes.

“Are you already hard again?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?” She chuckles.

“You look so fucking hot like that. I can wait if you don’t wanna go again so soon.”

“What would you have me do?”

“Come sit on me, bounce up and down?”

“Okay.” She bites her bottom lip.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I’m still pretty wet, see?” She lifts the bottom of her jersey so he could see. “Even with going to the bathroom, I just couldn’t help but think about how good it felt.”

“You’re soaked.”

“Mhm.”

“Get over here.” He leans over to his desk and grabs a condom, but she takes it from him. “What are you doing?”

“Do you…I don’t know…maybe not want to use one?”

“That’s how accidents happen.”

“I’m on the pill, I never miss one. I have them with me so I can take it in the morning like I usually do. You could come on my stomach of you feel more comfortable with that. I just wanna feel you.”

“You do?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.” She goes to take the jersey off but he shakes his head no. “Leave it on.” He says lowly.

She crawls onto his lap and sinks down on him. He lays back and lets her go to work. She moves around in a circle at first and then starts to move up and down. His hands grips her hips and then smooth over the globes of her ass.

“You’re so fucking sexy like this, you have no idea.”

“You feel so good, Harry.” She throws her head back as she bounces up and down on him.

“Shit, so do you.”

He wasn’t going to last long, but he wanted to make sure she got hers before he did, so he lifts the jersey a little to rub her sensitive clit.

“Harry!” She gasps and claws down his chest with her nails. “Shit, oh my god!” She comes around him much sooner than she thought.

He pulls her off him, and press her front into the mattress. He lifts the jersey up so he can come on her ass and back. He sighs with relief once he’s done.

“Let me get a towel, babe, one second.” He slides his boxers on and rummages in his closet. Once he finds a spare towel he leaves the room. She was confused but when he comes back she feels warm water on her. He flips her over and wipes between her legs. Her eyes grow wide. He had never done that before. He looks at her and blushes. “Sorry, was that weird?”

“No! I just…you’re just always a gentleman, Harry.” She chuckles.

He tosses the towel into his hamper and practically rips the jersey off her so they could lay skin to skin. He pecks kisses to her lips and chest and rubs her back as they settle in. He pulls the blankets up over them and they both sigh.

“I like your bed so much better than mine.” She nuzzles into his chest. “So cozy.”

“Your bed is cozy too.”

“Yeah, but we have way less room, and as much as I love you, we both get too sweaty in my dinky bed.” She didn’t realize what she said until she feels his body stiffen under hers. She props herself up to look down at him. “I mean, I just meant, um-“ He cups one of her cheeks.

“Don’t you dare try to take it back.”

“It just slipped out…I-“

“Stop.” He shakes his head. “You love me?”

“Harry, I…yeah, I do, I love you.” He pulls her face down to his so he can kiss her.

“I love you, too.”

“You do?”

“Yes.”

“Oh.” She smiles. “Well, this is nice for us.”

“Yeah.” He chuckles. “It’s very nice.” She starts laughing too. “What is it?” He asks as he turns them both over so he can spoon her.

“Nothing, I’m just really fucking glad I had no idea how the brain functioned so I could get you as a tutor.”

[joonie-beanie]

The Demon Brothers + College AU + (Cliche?) First Meetings

So an anon sent me the above ask, and it may have gotten a little out of hand ;;;

I also kind of switched it up and made it college instead. Hopefully the meetings I came up with are still somewhat cliche! Or, at the very least, cute lol

Lucifer:

You’re running late for class on the first day of the semester and he holds the elevator door open for you when he sees the desperate look on your face, and how you’re making a dash for the closing doors.

“Thank you,” you breathe out as you try to get ahold of yourself, hoping that the tall, handsome male beside you doesn’t see or hear the way you’re struggling for air. (It’s 8am, okay? Your body isn’t ready to be running so early.)

“Which floor do you need?” he asks, smiling politely. You respond “four”, and he hums to himself while hitting the button.

When he doesn’t press a different button, you assume he’s heading to the same floor.

“Thanks, by the way,” you say, flashing him a small smile. “You really saved my ass.”

“No thanks needed,” he responds, gaze shifting to look at the small screen above the door. The second floor moves past with a quiet beep. Silence falls for a couple of seconds.

“May I ask what class you’re heading to?”

“Ah, it’s a psychology lab,” you respond, laughing to yourself after a beat. You pull your phone from your pocket, trying to find the screenshot you’d taken of your schedule. “I signed up for this one because Rate My Professor said the TA is hot.”

“Oh? Is that so?” You’re not paying attention, so you don’t see the smirk that tugs at his lips.

The next moment, the elevator stops and the two of you step out together. You exit first, flashing the male one last smile before you turn your attention to your phone, double checking the room number. Lucifer brushes past you without saying a word, and you don’t realize that you’re headed in the same direction until you glance up, and find him holding the classroom door open for you.

“After you,” he says, and while you’re confused, you dip your head in thanks and make your way in. Since you’re one of the last ones in the classroom, you get stuck sitting in the front row.

As you unpack your things, Lucifer steps to the head of the room and sets his computer bag down onto the desk.

“Good morning, class,” he says, his gaze shifting to you when you look up and see that it’s him who is speaking--a vibrant blush rising to your face as you recall what you’d told him in the elevator.

“My name is Lucifer, and I will be the TA for this lab.”

Mammon:

You’re in the large, open eating area at the campus student union when he bumps into you.

Instantly, the greasy, cheesy pizza on your tray jumps up and lands on the front of your shirt. You freeze in shock, wide eyes glancing down as the personal pizza slides down your chest before flopping back onto the tray.

“Oi, watch where you’re going,” a voice says behind you, and you slowly turn around to face the apparently dumbass man who doesn’t even have the sensibility to apologize to you.

Despite that fact that he sounds pompous, you can’t deny that his styled white hair, and pierced ears are kind of charming.

“You backed into me,” you tell him, attempting to keep your calm. You almost lose it when you see his eyes rake down to your chest, staring at the likely un-washable stain on the fabric. He stares much too long, and you’re just about to curse at him when he speaks up again.

“Uhhh...,” he raises a hand to sheepishly rub at his neck, and when you look closely, you see that a blush has spread across his face. “Y-ya know what, maybe it is my fault...can I, um, buy ya another pizza?”

You blink, surprised at the sudden turn around in his attitude.

“That would be nice,” you say honestly, and suddenly he’s smiling, hopping back into the pizza line, which is right beside where the two of you had collided.

“I-If ya want, I’ll lend you my jacket because of, ya know, your shirt,” he says, motioning to your obviously ruined top. You cock an eyebrow at him. 

“You’d give a stranger your jacket?”

 “Well...I’m kind of hoping that you’ll have lunch with me, and we won’t be strangers for long,” he mumbles, gaze shying away. “Or, ya know, that I can get your number at least.”

“You’re really pushing it,” you tell him with a laugh, and you can see his feathers ruffle. He’s obviously embarrassed at you calling out his flirting. “But...maybe we can eat lunch together. Since you’re paying.”

He blinks, shocked at your words, but soon breaks into a smile. Self-satisfied, he continues grinning stupidly even as the cashier calls him up. However, when he pulls out his wallet, swipes his card, and it comes back denied...

“Uhh...can you pay this time? I PROMISE I’ll pay you back.”

You sigh, and debate throttling him.

Levi:

You sit next to him in a lecture hall, and can’t help but notice that the background on his laptop is Sailor Moon. 

When you reach down to dig a notebook out of your bag, you also see the number of anime and video game pins decorating the front of his backpack.

While you don’t tend to talk to strangers, you can’t help but say something.

“Hey, um,” you start, catching his attention. He freezes, amber eyes shifting to look at you--wide with surprise. You smile, doing your best to come off as casual, and friendly. “I noticed all the pins on your backpack. Do you like anime? I started watching Demon Slayer the other week, and I’m in love with it.”

“I...you...,” his surprise shifts to wonder as he regards you. The slightest blush rises on his cheeks. “You watch anime???”

“Yeah,” you laugh. “Is that so weird?”

“N-no, I guess not,” he mumbles, his hands fiddling with the cuffs of his hoodie. You wonder if you’ve made a mistake by talking to him, since he seems so shy--

“Do you play video games too??” he breaks you out of your thoughts as he scoots forward, eyes sparkling. He’s whispering hurriedly, eyes briefly straying to glance at the time on his laptop. “I recently started playing Doki Doki Literature club, and it’s crazy. I love RPG games, and Indie games too--like IB, and Mad Father. Witches House is also good. Of course, I’ll give pretty much any video game a chance, but--”

At that moment, the professor steps up and addresses the class. Levi’s words cut off, and his blush deepens as he suddenly realizes that he’d gone on a mini fanboy rant. However, you just smile at him, hoping that you come off reassuring, and turn to your notebook.

During the lecture, you’re too busy taking notes to notice the way he sneaks glances your way. And when the class finally ends, and you move to repack your belongings, you look up to find him staring at you.

“Is something on your mind?” you ask him. 

“I...um...I-I was wondering if I could get your contact info. You know...f-for class stuff, and maybe, if..if you wanted to, we could also talk more about anime…?”

“Sure!” you say, and he blinks, apparently shocked by your willingness. The two of you proceed to exchange emails and phone numbers, and by the time you arrive at your next class 15 minutes later, 6 new text messages (about anime, video games, and the like) from Levi are lighting up your phone screen.

Satan:

He’s volunteering at the library when you approach him, desperate for help finding a textbook you need to scan for a class. You’ve looked everywhere, but still can’t find it.

“You do realize that this code is indicating that this textbook is online, right? Not physically in the library?” he asks you, a bit of amusement swimming in his eyes when he hands your phone back to you--the screen open to an email your professor had sent a few days before.

You feel heat rise on your cheeks. “Ah, nope. Did not realize...”

“It happens often, actually. I’m sorry for teasing, I shouldn’t have” he says, smiling at you. “If you want, you can come around the desk, and I’ll show you how to access the textbook online. That way, you won’t be confused next time.”

“Thank you,” you sigh, scooting your way around the desk. Satan pulls up a spare chair beside him, and your knee accidentally knocks against his as you take a seat. 

“Here, you just have to search for it in the library portal,” he says, and you attentively watch as he guides you through the online website. However, when he starts going off into a spiel on all of the other cool resources and books available to students online, your attention strays.

You notice the copy of Jane Eyre open on the desk beside the computer. 

“Are you reading a book that’s assigned in high school AP Lit?”

He blinks in confusion, but immediately goes on the defense when he notices where you’re looking.

“Hey, Jane Eyre is a classic. And the help desk is far too slow some days. I need something to keep me busy.”

“Hmm, I guess that’s fair,” you respond, smiling. You move to grab your bag--pressing to your feet. “I can’t blame you either, considering I actually enjoyed reading it once upon a time. The Great Gatsby was probably my next favorite.”

“Personally, out of all the high school literature, I enjoyed Fahrenheit 451,” he responds, grinning when he sees the disgruntled look on your face at hearing the name of the book.

“Really?? I still have no idea what it was about.”

He’s quiet for a moment. You turn to look at him, and find him regarding you with interest. 

Satan smiles.

“Can I buy you a coffee?”

Asmo:

Asmo is working a booth about safe sex in the student union when you approach, hoping to get free condoms (or maybe even donate to support the organization, considering it’s a good cause).

“Well, hello there, gorgeous,” he says, smiling at you as you survey the goodies and pamphlets laid out on the table. He comes off as a little flirty, but mostly friendly, and well intentioned. “Are you here to buy one of our prettily shaped chocolates?”

He motions to the cup full of vagina-shaped chocolates on a stick. Your eyebrows raise. Huh.

“Well, that’s not why I stopped, but I may need to buy one now,” you laugh, making him smile. Asmo leans forward onto his elbows, his eyes twinkling up at you.

“Are you here for the condoms then? If so, feel free to take a handful. We have a ton prepared. People on this campus fuck like bunnies, honestly.”

You laugh. “Oh? Well, good on you guys for protecting all of the precious, needy students.”

He nods sagely, moving to gather you a few of the wrapped condoms, along with some educational reading material. “Can’t have a bunch of students getting diseases, or pregnant. Sex should be fun and safe. Always! And if it’s not both, then find someone else to fuck.” 

“Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind,” you say, smiling as he hands you your free goodies. Your eyes stray back to the vagina chocolates. “How much for one of those?”

“5 dollars,” he says, reaching over to grab one. “Pricey, I know, but the money goes to a good cause.”

“I don’t doubt it,” you laugh, pulling a 5 from your wallet. The two of you exchange items, and you pocket the chocolate. You flash him one last smile, intending to walk away, but he pipes up before you get too far.

“By the way, we’re having a class on BDSM safety tonight~” You pause at his words, turning to face him, and he grins at the look of interest plain on your face. “In case you’re interested.”

“Are you...implying something?” you ask, posing a hand on your hip as you turn to face him. He cocks his head to the side innocently.

“I would never~ But you’ve left a good impression in the two minutes we’ve known each other, and I’m the one teaching the class, so~ I’d be thrilled to see you there.”

You raise an eyebrow, surprised, but amused as well. “Maybe I’ll see you tonight.”

With that, you turn on your heel and head to class. But you definitely end up attending the class that night.

Beel:

You meet during a 1-credit, weekend Yoga class. He puts his mat down next to yours, and you can’t help but stare at his biceps, and triceps, and...wow he’s really built.

Aside from that, though, he looks pretty concerned.

“Have you never done yoga before?” you ask him, smiling politely. Having caught his attention, he turns to look at you--the same adorable frown pulling at his lips.

“No...I like to work out, but I’ve never done yoga...I’m not very flexible.” You watch him as he demonstrations by sticking his legs out and trying to touch his toes. His fingertips only reach halfway down his calves.

“It’s okay!” you tell him. “I’m pretty new to yoga too! And this is just an intro course, so I wouldn’t worry. Most of the grade comes from knowing technical terms, and I’ve heard this instructor is really nice.”

At that, he finally smiles--relieved to hear you say so.

“I’m Beel, by the way,” he says.

“Y/N,” you respond, but before the two of you get the chance to talk more, the instructor arrives. You then spend the next few hours smiling to yourself as you watch Beel struggle to get into poses. Luckily, he doesn’t seem to mind that you’re getting humor out of his situation.

“Did you not eat today?” you ask him when lunch finally rolls around, flopping back against your mat. He shakes his head, rummaging around in his bag. You can hear his stomach growling.

“I had an extra large breakfast since I knew I would be burning calories, but I’m starving now…” He pulls an entire sub from his bag, and when you catch a peek at the inside, you realize that the entire backpack is stuffed with only food. Holy shit.

But...you suppose he does need to eat a lot, if he works out a lot.

“I’m gonna grab a soda, and I’ll be back,” you say quietly, assuming that you’ll be eating lunch together, since he’s already turning to face your mat. 

“Okay,” he says with a smile, and you smile back at him, excited to get to know him more. However, before you can even get a step away,  you’re tripping over your backpack

The world spins, and you hold your arms in front of you--expecting to eat shit--but you don’t meet the floor. Two arms curl beneath you and your body rolls--your ass landing between folded legs.

You blink in surprise, blushing when you glance up and find that it’s none other than Beel who is holding you. Concern is written on his face. He doesn’t seem the least bit concerned that you’re currently occupying his lap.

“Are you okay?” he asks, not moving to release you, and oh boy you think your heart may beat straight out of your chest.

Belphie:

You meet him in the library computer lab at 11:48pm, on the last day of finals.

You trudge into the computer lab, bordering on going blind. You’ve spent the last 6 hours writing out your term paper, and had felt pretty fucking proud when you’d finished with a whole 30 minutes to spare, but just as you’d gone to submit the paper online, your apartment wi-fi had cut out

Of course.

So, you pop a squat at one of the many computers--not even realizing that someone else is in the lab until you hear a quiet snore.

Immediately, you’re pausing, standing to glance around the room. A few computers down, sitting parallel to you, is a dark haired male, with his head down on the keyboard.

Honestly, you debate not waking him. He probably needs the rest, but as a fellow student, and considering it’s the last day of finals? You can’t just leave him be in good conscience.

“Hey, uh, dude?” you call out, glancing at him from over the row of computers. He doesn’t stir. “Heyyyy~ It’s almost midnight,” you say a bit louder. “I don’t know if you’re writing something, but you better submit it.”

Finally, he stirs.

“Aw, fuck,” you hear him grumble, and he lifts his head up--his tired gaze turning to look at you. He sighs. “Thanks. You probably just saved my ass.”

“No worries,” you respond, laughing a little. You sit back down in your seat, and put in your credentials....only for the computer to indicate that you’ve put in the wrong password.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” you say, deadpanning, and try another password. Then another, and another. None of them work, and you don’t have enough time left to change it.

“I’m gonna fucking jump off the roof,” you deadpan, holding your face in your hands. Belphie chuckles.

“Something wrong?”

“I guess I don’t know my computer password, so I can’t log in and submit my paper.” You say, glancing up. This time, it’s Belphie who is glancing over the row of monitors at you, eyebrow raised.

“You can come use mine. I just submitted my paper. Just log into the school site with your ID.”

“You’re a lifesaver,” you sigh, and Belphie scoots his chair over as you walk around the aisle to meet him. Again, he laughs.

“Eye for an eye.”

“That’s...you use that phrase with enemies,” you tell him, unable to help the smile that spreads across your face. He blinks, and then groans.

“Fuck, you’re right. I’m still asleep. Just...forget I said that.”

“Actually, I think I’ll remember it forever,” you respond, and he grins, his eyes shifting to look at the keyboard as you type out your password.

“Okay, OppaiLover69 exclamation point.”

You feel your cheeks heat up, and when you see the shit-eating look at his face, you debate throwing hands. He’s lucky he’s cute.

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

Whatever Words Exist

StudentTeacher!Cal x Reader (Gender Neutral). Like mostly fluff. 

Reader and Calum have only met briefly. But when the connection is this magnetic, you don’t press fate. 

Masterlist (semi-hiatus) 

_____________________

Calum readjusts the strap on his backpack, getting the bag hitched back right on his shoulder. Just up the hill he can see a gathering of people, a general human mass but still too far away for him to make out any one person in particular. He knows he’s in the right place for sure. So he continues on and a few folks wave as he approaches. Derrick, former officemate, spots Calum first and waves him closer. 

“Meet Calum--old officemate of mine,” Derrick tells the group surrounding him. First years, Calum assumes and gives them a tiny smile and wave to the group. 

“Yeah, because this jerk decided to apply for a full time instructor position. And then got upgraded,” Calum laughs. 

“Look, gotta pay the bills how I can,” Derrick returns and then goes around the semi circle introducing everyone. 

Calum looks at each one in return and then his gaze lands on yours. As a first year to the program and student teaching, you ran into Calum during the intense two week training. Well, you two didn’t really run into each other. Calum ran a few sessions during the training and you might have purposefully lingered behind on the free range Q&A that he was a part of with a few other experienced student teachers. He seemed to be calm and level headed about all the teaching and you were quite the opposite, so listening to him answer questions gave you a small amount of peace. 

The second reason you lingered until everyone else was gone and asked their questions is because you thought he was attractive. The baggy t-shirt but nice fitting jeans and the way he titled in when he was listening to someone. He seemed to really care and take his time to answer any questions--even when he had other things he needed to attend to as well. “Hey,” he says as his smile brightens around your name. 

“Hi Calum,” you return. “Slumming it with us first years.”

“I would never call it slumming, not in the slightest,” he laughs in return. The conversation steers away from that, talking about the summer and general shared interests. But every so often you and Calum lock eyes, gazes lingering for way longer than you’d like to admit. Mostly because you don’t want to be this into someone so early into the semester. And truth be told, the semester hadn’t even truly started. 

About ten minutes pass before professors start to approach, a couple of them holding boxes of pizza. And while you definitely weren’t sure how to juggle all the responsibilities of teaching, classes, paying rent on time, you were grateful for the lunch of pizza. It also meant that you’d be taking some home if enough people didn’t go in for seconds. And getting a free meal plus an easy dinner was always worth it. 

As the pizzas are lined up, you linger back, not wanting to be the first person to get food, but close enough to the first brave souls. “So, have you done any exploring around town?” Calum asks from behind you. 

You spin to half face him to talk to him. “Not a lot. By the time we get done with training I’m too tired to do anything else. But I need to get my bike looked at, so I probably should get downtown at the very least.”

“What’s up with your bike? You said it was your main mode of transportation.”

“Just double checking tire pressure--nothing major. One of them feels like it’s not as high as the other. But rather be safe than sorry since the semester starts.”

Calum nods and shuffles up as the line moves. “If you need a ride to the shop, I have my car.”

You’re not sure if Calum’s offering just to be nice or if it means more. So you default to telling him he doesn’t have to, but he insists. And even as you’re grabbing a slice of pizza and Calum’s right behind you, you try to tell him that he shouldn’t completely disturb his whole day just for you. 

“I cannot have you blowing a tire on the side of the road. Do you have your bike with you today? We could go after this.”

If there were any way to die right in this moment, you’re wishing for it. “I do,” you answer cautiously, walking towards the metal picnic tables. “But really, I can do by myself. It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Oh, c’mon, this town’s not necessarily the nicest to cyclists and if you got stranded I’d feel like an ass.” Calum settles across from you on the bench, slipping his backpack off his shoulder. You do the same, setting your backpack next you and pulling your water bottle from the side pocket. 

“I don’t know what your plans are. I don’t want to intrude,” you counter, unscrewing the top to your water bottle to take a sip. 

“My plans were to sit in my office and pretend like I was lesson planning.”

“Where’s your office again?”

Calum rattles off the name of the building, before taking his first bite of pizza. And you swear for a moment the universe is fucking with you. It has it out for you. “I’m in the same building,” you state. 

“I’m in room 138.”

Oh, how cruel is the universe. How fucking cruel could it be. “Same,” you state after finishing your bite of pizza. “Haven’t been inside to see it yet though.”

“Oh, it sounds like I’m your personal tour guide today.” And it’s not that he’s being adamant about it. Because you know if you were in the reverse positions, you’d do something similar. But a glint crosses his eyes, his smile is a slight curl of his lips and he’s looking up at you from underneath his lashes. 

Your stomach flutters, and suddenly pizza looks and feels like lead, but you take another bite to do something other than let panic settle. A quiet settles between the two of you as you eat. Though more people are turning up and settling in around you to make up for the silence. A few more minutes pass, even with you tossing away your plate and saying hi to some other people who are also teaching for the first time this year before you hear the professors calling for the group’s attention.

As the group quiets down, you return back to the spot where your bag is and Calum’s still there, laughing at something Derrick is saying. You catch his gaze and you really only think that you should look away. But you do. He’s too fucking handsome not to keep your gaze lingering for a moment longer. The humorous smile changes, becomes more subtle as the two of you continue to gaze at each other. 

You can feel your cheeks getting hot but slowly feel your own smile over taking your face before you cast your gaze down and then flick it back up to who’s speaking. It’s good information to get, as you listen to each professor in turn talk about the program more. You get a good sense of who each person is, and it’s not too much longer before each of the new and old cohort introduces themself. 

It’s a natural break as everyone starts to talk again with the business now out of the way. You mingle with some of the instructors but gravitate towards the snacks that are available. Just as you get a good grasp on one of the oreos, your name is called out. You spin, making sure to keep the Oreos in a tight hold. Calum waves you over to the group he’s in and you walk over. You know you shouldn’t. You know you’re playing with fire. But you do so anyway and he introduces you to some other people in the same year as him. They weren’t at the student teacher training. 

You’re thankful for the introduction but slowly the conversation drifts to the group joking about something that you seem to be missing and you know almost without thinking that Calum’s going to seize this opportunity. You turn to him first. “I like the vibe of this program,” you start. 

He smiles. “I’m glad. It’s all pretty tight knit.” You nod, agreeing with this point, but also not sure if you’re reading the air between you and him correctly either. “Do you wanna duck out now?” he asks quietly. “Get that bike fixed up for the first day of classes.”

“Ye-yeah, that’s cool.”

He nods over to where your belongings are with a smile. And the two of you gather your things. As you lead Calum over to where you locked up your bike you pause. “Wait,” you start, “do you even have a place to strap a bike down?”

“My friends and I bike the trails a lot during the year. My SUV can handle it, I promise,” he returns with a laugh. The two of you walk side by side down the parking lot. “Where do you call home?” he asks. 

You rattle off the answer and in return ask him the same. “Well home home is Australia. But I came to the states with some mates and we’ve sort of always called California a second home.”

“You beat me the longest distance from home,” you laugh. 

“Well, only on a technicality.”

“So like your mom, dad, and siblings--if you have any--are like clear across the world?”

“Mum and Dad are. Sister’s in London.”

“Is she studying too?”

“Singer--she’s over there doing that.”

You hum. “Is singing a family trait?”

Calum laughs and you watch some lights blink from a car and you spy the keys in his hand. “I wouldn’t call it a family trait. But yeah, we all sing. In our own ways. Originally made some moves for music. Career paths changed just a tiny bit.”

“So you and the friends you moved with were in a band?”

“Of sorts. Went well for a while. Then we just needed rest.”

“So your idea of rest is going to school and teaching?” You laugh. Calum opens the trunk first for your bags. And when he closes it, you finally spot the rack to set your bike on. 

“Like I said, career paths took a turn. Rest or new experience--I’ve yet to decide on the name yet.”

With the bike settled and secure, you walk around to the passenger side door. Calum’s quick to turn the air on in the car once he’s inside. His radio starts up immediately and he scrambles to turn it down. “Sorry, don’t wanna blast you out of the car,” he states. 

“No, no worries.”

“Any requests? You can plug your phone in too, if you want.”

“Oh God, I take over the aux and you’re going to get some anime theme song and I’d rather save myself the embarrassment.”

Calum’s chuckle is quick and clear of the click of the seatbelts. He switches over the radio and hands you the white cord. “Now you have to embarrass yourself.”

“That’s what I get for opening my big mouth.” Plugging the cord in, you shuffle for a decent opening song as the truck starts backwards out of the parking spot. 

“So what about you? How did the universe drop you here?”

“Pure determination and spite,” you laugh as the song starts over the speakers. “I finished my undergrad, worked for a couple years and then promptly said this is not what I want to do forever and started looking to go back to school.”

“Pure determination and spite,” Calum repeats. He keeps his attention heavily on the road as he’s driving out of the park and through the neighborhoods. But once he hits a stretch of main road he can glance over to you. And you’re staring out of the front windshield, head slightly tilted. “You look lost in thought?”

“Just admiring the view.”

And Calum hums, a sound of agreement, but the view he’s enjoying isn’t the sight of campus and the surrounding area. The two of you continue on, weaving around some traffic and soon you’re turning down a side street. One that reminds you almost of home. And maybe that’s just the universality of it all. Almost anything could be home if you wanted it to be, because there was always going to be a piece of a place that you could connect too. 

“The guys here are nice and really quick about anything that’s a simple fix,” Calum offers. “Also, your music isn’t that bad.”

Your jaw drops just a little and a small squawk of indignation falls from your lips. “What’s that supposed to mean?” you ask, jumping out of the car. Calum’s already at the back, pulling your bike from the secure rack. 

“It means that having an anime theme song play would’ve made it ten times better.”

You huff, but follow behind him into the shop. The two of you greeted almost immediately and when the guy working on the floor spies the bike, he’s quick to walk over and see what the issue is. You explain that you’ve noticed a difference in tire pressure. In your move your gauge got misplaced and you hadn’t quite yet had time to get someone to look at it until now. 

“Yeah, we can check that for you. No problem. So any other plans for today?” he asks, making small talk. You talk briefly about the weather, though there’s not quite a lot to talk about it. Not too long later, the guy’s able to confirm that one of tires did have something puncturing it and letting out some air. But he’s quick to let you know that they can fix it in just a few minutes if the two of you have it. 

“I’d greatly appreciate it,” you start and then look at Calum, who just shrugs. “Yeah, can you fix it?”

“Sure can. Just give me a few minutes.”

“Thank you.”

You watch Calum browse, trying not to linger on the way his back moves underneath the t-shirt as he reaches up for something along the walls. And it’s like asking to get into trouble. Though there’s nothing wrong with instructors dating. You just had a plan, that's all.The first semester you’d get settled, figure out what this whole student teaching life was all about. And the more you watched Calum, the more you were sure that plan was going to fall apart. 

“Here she is, all fixed up.” You look up from your spot, in the store, having migrated to the opposite end of the door and walk over to the man with your bike. “Just a little puncture. Nothing too bad.” He rattles off the costs and it’s more than you anticipated, but not so much more that you have complaints.

Calum’s quick to take over the bike and walk it back outside, smiling as you hold the door open for him. “Thanks.”

“No, thanks to you. For chauffeuring me around.”

“Oh, it’s nothing,” he returns, getting the bike back onto the rack. “Did you want to explore some nearby shops?”

“Oh, hmm. Maybe later. I haven’t an ounce of lesson plans just yet. So I think I should maybe get my week 2 planned.”

“Well it sounds like you have something of week one planned,” Calum counters. 

“We were forced. Thanks to orientation.”

He laughs. “Yeah, they wanted you to have that down at least.”

In the brief glance around, as you try to tell yourself, you shouldn’t explore, you spy a little coffee shop. It looks intriguing. And you point out the sign. “Have you ever tried them?”

“Yeah--it’s a really good shop.”

You take a small step towards the building, careful though because you’re still in the parking lot and about to head into the street. “Can I tack on just a tiny bit of exploring and grab a cup?”

“Of course.”

“Recommend anything?”

Calum holds the door open as he speaks. “Chai Latte, but you can’t tell anyone that it was me that recommended it.”

“Your secret it safe with me.”

In line, you try not to think about how close Calum is, as he stands behind you. But you can feel him, or maybe you want to feel it, you’re aware of him that it’s like all you’d have to do is fake a clumsy step back to be resting into his chest. You imagine it to be firm, but somehow cozy. And maybe that’s just the worn t-shirt he’s adorned in and the beanie on his head. But his presence feels soft to you. 

Your daydream doesn’t last long as the line shuffles forward and you take the step forward rather than the step backward. The coffee shop is quaint, the wide windows letting in plenty of sunlight. But the tables are dark brown and look worn from your place in line. It feels lived in and you enjoy that even though the outside was painted a hunter green, the inside is a pretty beige accented by the chocolate wood of the tables. 

“It’s like a dream,” you state in a whisper, taking in the lights in the ceiling and the scattered bodies of students with backpacks at their feet and others whom you assume live in town and are most likely trying to enjoy the last bits of quiet before the rest of the students descend onto the campus and town. 

In all your sight exploration, your order is called up and Calum has to get it for you. He smiles though, watching the wonder that fills your eyes. “The offer’s still on the table,” he states, handing over the correct cup t you. “We can explore.”

“Can we raincheck? What does next weekend look like for you?”

He still hadn’t responded to Ashton about the hike. So he doesn’t really have plans. “Free as a bird.”

“Would it be okay? To wait till then?”

“Of course,” he exhales. “I’m not the one still learning with training wheels of teaching. I can do this in my sleep.”

“Oh, so big and tough,” you joke, but head back to the front door. The two of you break back out into the bright sun and it’s warm on your skin. “Just give me a semester. I’ll be able to knock you down a peg.”

And Calum doesn’t doubt that for a second. Not with the way you talked about getting into the program. Inside the truck, you’re handed the aux yet again and this time don’t think twice about plugging it in. “To our office?” he asks. 

“You’re not even going to be doing anything for real.”

“I like the sense of productivity.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” you laugh. The drive back to the campus isn’t as long as you thought it would be. But somehow it comes all too quickly. You’re still not sure what’s happening between you and Calum. It’s easy, natural between the two of you. But your plan--you know it’s all going down the drain. All his jokes make you laugh, and you know one or two shouldn’t. And when you do laugh, Calum turns sheepish. He goes quiet, a tiny smile quivering at his lips. 

Calum parks in the employee parking lot in front of the building with your office. Both of you climb out at the same time. And with backpacks, coffee, keys and phones all in place you two trek up to the door. “I think it’s only three of us in the office this year,” Calum talks, fishing out the right key on the hook. 

“Only three?”

“This used to be an old dorm building. So they can usually stick four of us into the room. But the email we got about office assignments only had three names. There was a fourth, but I don’t know what happened to them. They were in a different English program than us. And I don’t know if they graduated or not.”

“Ah,” you return, stepping through the door behind him. And it doesn’t remind you too much of a dorm, not in the always at least. But when Calum unlocks the door, you can see where it definitely once was an older dorm building thanks to the sink in the corner. “You weren’t kidding, huh?’

“About it being an old dorm? Not in the slightest.” He drops his backpack into the desk on the left side of the room but closest to the window. A couple pictures decorate the desktop. The desk next to him as a blanket and the whiteboard above it, has something written on it. So you assume it’s the third person. The desk on the right, closest to the door has nothing on it. The one closest to the window, across from Calum is also empty. 

You walk into the room some more and Calum pulls out his laptop from his bag and then steps around you. “As a heads up, the door stays locked. So you’ll need your key if you go out and close the door. I got locked out once or maybe twice. And it’s definitely not fun.”

You nod. “Thanks for the heads up.”

He smiles and then slips out of the door and you study the empty desk. It’s stupid, trivial to take the one across from Calum, but you drop your backpack into the office chair. The next time you come, you’ll bring desk decorations. To claim which one is yours. Because right now in the depths of your backpack you don’t have much. Well you do have a book that you don’t really need to keep up with too much. Maybe you can leave that. 

Exhaling, you get mostly settled and just before you can get your laptop out of the sleeve the door opens to Calum walking through again. The beanie’s now in his hands as he strides across the room and you can’t help but stare at the curls falling from his head. You want to curse him for looking so good. But you force yourself to go back to your screen. 

Calum settles back into his chair and watches you, sitting up straighter than he’s ever seen a person sit. And he wishes he wasn’t so chicken shit about it. You fucking asked him to hang out next weekend. But still, it’s like toying the line. Trying to make sure he’s reading the cues right. Maybe not right now, maybe next weekend he can get a better read, make a move. He turns back to his own laptop and finds the syllabus he made from the last semester. He can still use most of it. Though in the spring they had a break and in the fall, now they don’t. So he can delete that week as no class and actually have time for the group project in class that the department requires for them to teach. 

A couple hours go by, silence between the two of you, but the clacking of keys makes a chorus around the room. Calum pauses every so often to look over his shoulder. Sometimes you’re deep into work, pushed up into the seat. And once or twice, he found you slouched, staring out at the window next to both of you. 

Another hour passes and shuffling ensues behind Calum. He looks over and finds you packing up. “Headed home?”

You nod. “Managed to get the first unit mostly planned. We’ll see how it goes.”

He smiles. “I’m sure it’ll go well.” He goes to turn around and then remembers your bike is still attached to the back of his car. “Oh, let me go with you to get your bike,” he says ,shooting up from his chair. It rolls backwards for a split second but then makes a sudden stop. 

“Oof,” you let out, rubbing at your stomach. 

“Oh my god,” he rushes out, stepping in closer. “I’m so sorry. Had no clue you were that close. You okay?”

“Yeah,” you laugh and then look up. And Calum’s eyes are a deeper brown that you initially thought. Now that he's closer to you. “Yeah, I’m okay,” you exhale in a breath. 

“You sure? I think the Campus Health Services is open. Or you know, urgent care?”

“I don’t think you caused internal bleeding. Just caught me off guard.”

He finally brings his gaze up from where you’ve stopped holding your stomach to your eyes. And he shouldn’t. He shouldn’t let his gaze drop below your eyes, because truth be told he already stared too much at your lips during the entirety of orientation. And he already knows just how plump they are. 

It’s silent--almost uncomfortably so. “Can I--I should get your bike,” Calum says, saving himself from sure embarrassment. 

He steps around you and you stretch out, capturing his wrist in your hand. “No, what were you going to ask?” you ask. The question leaves you without much thought and you know you shouldn’t ask. But you just can’t help it. Because you almost stretched up to kiss him. 

“It’s nothing,” he returns. But he doesn’t pull his wrist away. 

“Is it really nothing?”

Calum feels you step in closer. He inhales and lets it slowly. He shouldn’t. He absolutely should not let the question cross his lips. But he turn, and sees you illuminated by the sun from the windows and god, how can he deny an angel standing in front of him. “I was going to ask if I could ask you a question.” And it’s not really what he was going to ask. But it buys him some time. 

“You can ask me.”

“Do you--is this--,” he exhales, for a moment hating that the words are getting caught in his throat. “I don’t know if you’re feeling the same thing I am. But I-I’ve been interested in you, like from the second I saw you at the orientation. And I really, really don’t want to make a fool of myself. But I was hoping, are you interested? In me?”

There it goes--the plan--down the drain in just a few sentences. “If you’re asking if I thought you were attractive, yes. And if you’re asking if I care to see where this goes, the answer is also yes. But it really wasn’t supposed to go down like this.”

The elation covers his face and makes his cheeks push up as he smiles--so much so that the skin around his eyes crinkles. “I’ll gladly interrupt all your plans.”

You scoff at the sentiment, but feel your body heating up. Calum steps in even closer to you. His fingers find yours and thread them together. “So the real question I had was if I could kiss you? But I wasn’t sure if that was too forward.”

“Too forward a minute ago. But not too forward for right now,” you state, already moving in to kiss him. It’s short, longer than a peck, but not quite long enough. Because as you pull away, Calum’s other hand is cupping the back of your head and keeping you closer. His hold is firm but his lips are soft and you melt, knees buckling just for a moment. Thankfully, you manage to recover quickly. It doesn’t stop Calum from chuckling. 

“Are you telling me that I have that kind of effect on you?”

“Shut the fuck up, and kiss me again,” you state breathlessly. He doesn’t need to be asked twice. His lips capture yours again, happy to finally get a small taste of you. And you’re acutely aware that it must look ridiculous--you with your backpack full to the nines pressed up against Calum’s chest, chasing down his lips because his touch is mixing in with the scent of his cologne and all you know for sure is that it’s an intoxicating mixture that you want to be trapped in forever. 

You pull away, needing just a moment to catch your breath and Calum rests his forehead against yours. “Are you sure you want to leave me now?” he teases. 

“I--I’ll be honest. The reason why I was leaving was because I knew this was going to happen.”

“Oh? You knew?”

You laugh, cupping his jaw. “Calum, I know one thing for sure. You’re a dangerous man to be around.”

“Oh you’ve just met me. I should be offended.”

“Should be?” you question. 

“You’re--I don’t know what. But I knew that I wanted to know you. So whatever words that exist for that--that’s what you are.”

“I’m flattered,” you state softly. 

“If you give me 5, I can pack up my stuff and drop you off back at home. Now I’d be an asshole not to drop you off.”

You watch him, pulling back from the closeness. “I can make it home now that my bike’s fixed. Thanks to your insistence.”

“Well, let me insist one more time that I make sure you get home safely.” 

“Fine,” you resign. And he’s quick to pack up. Out in the hallway, he takes your hand, threading your fingers again. And it’s natural, easy between the two of you. You bump shoulders, laughing as you step out in the daylight. 

Inside his car, you slip back into the passenger seat. But when Calum settles into the driver seat and gets buckled in, he rests one hand on your thigh. Not too high up, nothing too suggestive, but not directly on your knee. You try not to let it fluster you, the ease at which he establishes touch, but your heart races just a little. 

You curl your fingers around his palm--it’s something to do with your hands, but also allows you a bit of control. You direct him easily back to your apartment. It’s nearly a straight shot, minus the one left turn needed and when he pulls up into a parking space in front of your building, he squeezes at your fingers just a little. 

You face him with a smile. “Thanks, for everything.”

“Yeah of course,” he returns. “So, next weekend? More exploring?”

“I’d like that.”

“I’ll text you about the date and time for sure. Unless we meet again in the office.”

Unbuckling your seatbelt, you laugh gently stretching across the console. “I have a suspicion we shall meet again in the office.”

“Lovely,” he breathes and you meet his lips, capturing them gently before pulling away and grabbing all your things. Your bike is easy to get down and then you lock it back up on the rack outside, even though Calum does help. He leans up against the door and you spy him watching. 

“Enjoying the show?” you tease shaking your butt at him at the outside door of the building.  

His laughter rings out. “Making sure you get inside safely, actually. But a show is always welcomed.”

[procrastinatingnerd]

Hi everyone! So this was my first time taking part in the @osemanversebigbang but I had so much fun!! I can't wait to read everyone's entries! 💜

Title: Angel Rahimi And The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Lunch Break

Characters: Angel, Juliet, Rowan, Jimmy, Lister, Bliss, two of Angel’s future uni friends (OCs).

Spoilers? Minor spoilers of important events in “I Was Born For This”.

Word Count: 3.6k

Ships: Bicci, one joke about Juliet/Rowan.

~Joan of Arc (Probably)

“I am so fucking tired”

“Right, time’s up, put your pens down.” The exam officer says from the front of the room. I scribble one last sentence before my hand gives out, and I all but throw my pen onto the desk, sighing as dramatically as I can. This week is a fucking nightmare. Exams and assignments are the piss. Fuck uni, I’m ready to drop out. Or drop dead. Either works, honestly.

As I leave the exam hall, I walk past some people from the students’ union. They’re handing out flyers for the Christmas ball next week. My housemates are all planning on going, but my friends and I planned our present swap for that night, so we’re going to spend it eating a fuck ton of snacks and watching the cheesiest Christmas films we can find. I can’t wait, I bought them each a bag of their favourite sweets from the American candy shop, it's going to be so much fun!

But that’s next week. Right now, all I want is to sit at a table that doesn’t have an exam paper on it, and eat something very greasy and very unhealthy. There’s a pizza place just on the edge of campus, run by some of the culinary arts students, and they make the best sauce ever. It’s pretty cheap too, which makes it a favourite for most people, especially at the end of a semester, when everyone’s bank accounts are running low.

I have about an hour until I need to be back in the exam hall, so I take full advantage of the outdoor seating and collapse into a chair after ordering. My pizza is brought out to me not long after, and I breathe in the smell. Nothing has smelt more gorgeous than the slices sitting in front of me. It’s a surprisingly warm day, for December at least, and for a moment, everything feels calm. I can hear a bird singing in a tree somewhere, other students are hanging around campus, most with their noses in their phones or in textbooks, and I actually let myself relax for a bit. I’ve done all the revision I can for this next exam, and I’m in desperate need of a break. I deserve this.

I pick up my first slice of pizza, and bring it up to my mouth. As I’m about to take a bite, however, my phone rings. I put the pizza down with a sigh and answer the phone without looking at who’s calling. Mum probably sensed I wasn’t doing any work, and is calling to check up on me.

“Hello?” I say tiredly.

“Angel, hi! Is this a good time??” I grin at the sound of Juliet’s voice.

“Hell yeah, it’s a perfect time! What’s up?”

“Wait, you don’t know why I’m calling?” Juliet says hesitantly. Shit. What have I forgotten now? I know it’s not her birthday. Wait, is it mine?? I swear exams rot your brain, have I actually forgotten my own birthday?

“No…?” I ask after internally monologuing for way too long.

“Oh my god, you don’t know??” Juliet screeches in my ear, “Angel go look at your phone, it’s urgent!”

Now very concerned, I put Juliet on speaker and, for the first time all morning, actually read the notifications filling my lock screen. I open the Twitter news one, and my mouth drops open in shock.

“Holy shit.”

On my screen is a news article with a headline that reads, “THE ARK’S JIMMY KAGA-RICCI AND LISTER BIRD’S SECRET RELATIONSHIP EXPOSED”, and just below it sits a large photo of Jimmy and Lister, standing outside a pub, kissing. I don’t believe it.

“Holy fu- Hold on a second. Mate, isn’t that the pub by Piero’s house?!” I say, bringing my phone as close to my face as I can, as if that’ll help me see better. There’s a loud shuffling noise on the other end of the line, and then I hear a gasp.

“Oh my god, you’re right!” Juliet says. “Rowan said they were going on holiday, but I thought he meant abroad or something.” I smile at that. Ever since our little jaunt to Kent last summer, Juliet and I have kept in touch with the boys. We even have a group chat now; us and them and even Bliss is in it. I’m so glad we stayed friends.

At first, Rowan was really quiet, and if he did speak he and Juliet would almost always end up arguing, but they’ve been getting along quite well lately. I’m not saying I ship it or anything, I’ve learnt my lesson there, but I have to say, fangirl-to enemies-to lovers would make a wicked fanfiction trope.

“Did you see any of this coming?” Juliet continues. “Surely Jimmy would have said something to you?”

“He said he was dating someone, but didn’t want to give details because they were taking things slow. Well, that and that celebrity phone hacking scandal freaked him right the fuck out, remember?” I say.

"That's

right, he stopped talking on the group chat for like two weeks, didn’t he?” Juliet giggles back. “Well, nevertheless, I’m happy for them. They’re cute together.”

“Yeah, they are.” I grin again. “Oh my god, poor Rowan though! I’d hate to live with a couple, especially a new one! It’d be nauseating.”

“Oh I know, right? And imagine what’ll happen when they have their first fight!” Juliet gasps again. I shudder at the thought.

“I’m muting the group chat when that happens.” I joke.

“Not a bad idea.” Juliet laughs back, then pauses. “Oh, Angel, I’m sorry I’ve got the get going, but do you want to skype later?”

“Yeah, no problem! I’ve got a revision session at 6, but I should be free by 9ish?”

“Sounds perfect! See you then!” Juliet says, and with that, she’s gone, and I’m back to sitting alone with my pizza.

Jimmy and Lister. Holy shit. I don’t think anyone in the fandom saw this coming. Everything has been about Jowan, since the fandom started growing it’s the only ship that ever existed. No one bothered writing fics about any other pairings. The only Jimmy/Lister fics I ever came across were platonic ones, and even they made sure to mention Jimmy’s boyfriend Rowan.

Oh god, I hope they’re okay. The fans got so crazy when Bliss and Rowan’s relationship was exposed. Jimmy/Lister is the final nail in the Jowan coffin. Jimmy must be having the panic attack of his life! I’ve got to-

My phone rings again.

I look down at the screen, and see Jimmy’s name. I take a deep breath, and answer.

“Jimmy, hi! How are-”

“Have you seen it??”

“Yes.”

“Oh god. This isn’t how we wanted to tell you guys.”

“You sure? Because getting caught by the national press worked so well for you last time.” I tease. Silence. Oops, probably not the best thing to remind him of right now.

“Jimmy, you still there?” I say carefully. There’s a slight rustle on his end, which means he probably just nodded. “Everything is going to be fine, I promise. The fans will move on. They already did with Jowan, right?”

“But what if something happens again? Something like-”

“It won’t. You guys have better security now, and you’re doing less public events. You’re going to be fine.” I hope and pray that I’m saying the right things. Jimmy and I have gotten close lately, but I’m nowhere near as good at helping him deal with his anxiety as Rowan and Lister are. There’s more silence, until finally, Jimmy speaks again.

“Okay. Yeah. Yeah I think you’re right. Thanks, Angel.”

“Course I’m right! If there’s one thing I know, it’s fandom drama.” Jimmy laughs, and I grin back. “And don’t forget, you’re not alone in this. This is happening to Lister too, and no doubt Rowan and Bliss will be there to help you. Just talk to them.”

“Thank you Angel, I’ll go do that now.”

“Perfect! Love you Jim, I’ll text you later.” I say, and the call ends.

He’ll be okay. He’s got too many people who love him not to be. I take another breath and put my phone down on the table. As soon as I do, however, it buzzes again, and I see Jimmy is trying to facetime me. Now very concerned, I answer it and hold the phone up so he can see my face properly.

“Jimmy, are you okay, what’s happened??” I ask anxiously, but he looks fine. He looks at me with a confused expression.

“Nothing, I’m just talking to the others, like you said.” He says. It’s only me and him on the call. I stare at him in silence for a moment.

“Jimmy, mate… I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m not any of them” I say slowly, and to my surprise, Jimmy laughs.

“Yeah I know, but I was kind of hoping to have you here, too, if that’s okay?” He says sheepishly. “It’s okay if you’re busy, it’s just that… I don’t know, you’re good with this stuff and you make me feel calm? Sorry, I know that’s a lot to just dump on you.” Jimmy doesn’t look at me directly, and I start to feel tears in my eyes.

“Well damn, Jim, I guess if you truly love me that much, I can stick around for a bit.” I laugh, and quickly glance at the time. “My lunch break is only halfway over, anyway, so I have plenty of time to hang out while you talk to the others.”

Jimmy seems to let out a breath, like he’d been holding it, and grins.

Just as I’m about to start talking again, I hear a ping, and Lister’s face appears on screen, followed by Rowan and Bliss.

“Hey Jimjam, you okay?” Rowan asks, looking as calm as ever. “Oh hey Angel.” He adds. I give him an awkward smile.

“Wait, Angel's here?” Bliss interrupts before Jimmy can answer. “Nice, how’s the week from hell going? Didn’t think we’d hear from you until you’d made it through.”

“Yeah it’s rough, but I’m getting there. This is a welcome distraction though.” I grin at her.

“So you’ve seen the pictures then. They look good, right?” Lister chimes in, before correcting himself. “I mean, it’s horrible they found us, fucking pricks, but you’ve got to admit we look good.”

“You can be so self-centred sometimes.” Bliss laughs.

“Come on Lister, this isn’t a joke.” Rowan chides him.

“Well, I guess he isn’t wrong..” Jimmy mumbles nervously and I see him smile a bit.

“See, Jimmy agrees with me!” Lister argues back at Rowan, who rolls his eyes.

“It’s still not something to laugh about.” Rowan says firmly. “Cecily’s already on damage control, cancelling some events, beefing up the security at others, and giving the tabloids hell. She’s also let your grandad know, Jimmy.”

“Wait, aren’t you guys all down there already?” I ask, confused.

“Nah we got back last night. That picture was taken when we went out for lunch the other day. Took their time printing it.” Lister says.

“Probably needed time to pad out their articles. Seriously, how can they write so many pages about two people dating?” Bliss adds.

“Probably whining about how Jowan is now well and truly dead.” Rowan rolls his eyes again. “Although I have to say, I’m pretty happy about that part.” I cringe slightly as he says that. I will never not regret being one of the Jowan fangirls.

“So Cecily’s already got a plan? That’s good, that’s a bit of a relief.” Jimmy speaks up, looking visibly more relaxed than he had sounded over the phone earlier.

“Yeah she’s got it sorted, so we can start planning our Christmas party!” Lister says, making the others groan.

“Lister what the hell makes you think we should be throwing a massive fucking party right now?!” Rowan says, his voice growing louder. Lister goes quiet, looking like he wants to shrink into his seat, before eventually speaking up again.

“Look, it doesn’t have to be anything big, I just mean… Angel, you’re gonna be in London with Juliet, right? Come over, drag Bliss with you, Jimmy can invite his grandad, Rowan you can bring Jade, and there you go, that’s our party!”

“That’s...actually a good idea.” Rowan says, surprised.

“Yeah, that sounds like fun!” Jimmy adds.

“I’m up for it, Angel, do you think Juliet will wanna come?” Bliss says.

“Hell yeah she would, let’s do it!” I reply with a massive smile on my face. Partying with Bliss and the boys sounds like the best way to spend my Christmas London trip. I’ll make sure to tell Juliet about it when I talk to her later. As I start planning all the food I’m going to bring over, and wondering what the boys’ flat will look like at Christmas, the conversation starts up again.

“You sure you’re doing alright, Jimmy? I can come back home if you need me to.” Rowan says, focusing things on the issue at hand again.

“No no, don’t worry, stay with your family. They’d kill me if I made you miss out on spending time with them.” Jimmy jokes. “I’ve got Lister here, and Cecily’s number if I need it. My head isn’t giving me too much grief right now, anyway.”

“Wait, Lister, you’re there with him?” Bliss asks.

“Yeah, check it out!” Lister says, before picking up his phone and moving. He takes us out of what I think was his room, through a hallway and comes out into a large living room, where we can see Jimmy on a sofa looking at his phone. “Say hi to the chat, Jim!”

Everyone laughs as Jimmy gives an awkward wave to Lister’s phone. Lister then hangs up and launches himself into view of Jimmy’s screen, and the two shuffle about until they’re practically sitting on top of each other, faces

squished together so the tiny phone camera captures them both. I hate how cute they look together.

“Alright, if you’re sure, Jimmy,” Rowan says, smiling for probably the first time this whole call.

“Yeah, I’m sure.” Jimmy smiles back. “This whole situation is terrifying, and I’m more than ready to hide in my room and not see another mad fangirl for the rest of my life, but... if I did that we’d never get to hang out with Angel again.” He finishes, biting his lip as if unsure of whether or not the joke will hit.

“Uh..ouch!” I clap my hand on top of my heart dramatically and laugh, while the others join in. “I’ll have you know I’ve abandoned my fangirl ways. Mostly. Sort of. Okay, not completely but I’m not shipping real people anymore, so that’s something, right?!”

Lister is giving Jimmy a look of what I can only assume is pride for making a decent joke during a time of peak anxiety, Rowan has his head in his hands, probably contemplating his life choices now that Lister seems to be rubbing off on Jimmy, and Bliss still looks shocked that such a joke came out of Jimmy’s mouth, not Lister’s. When things calm down again, I check the time and speak up again.

“Well this has been fun Jim, but I’m afraid I have mad fangirl duties to be getting back to. Shrines to build, fanfiction to write, you know how it is.” I say sarcastically.

“Thanks again, Angel, for being here, and listening. And you’d better be right about that fandom drama.” Jimmy laughs again, although this time I see his smile falter a bit.

“Hey, look at me,” I say, moving as close to the screen as I can without squishing my face on it. “Things will settle down before you know it, in the meantime, we’re all here for you. You’re not alone in this.” Rowan and Bliss nod in agreement, and I see Lister hug Jimmy closer. Jimmy takes a breath and nods as well.

“Thanks Angel. And good luck with your exam. We’ll see you over the holidays.” He smiles.

“Yeah you got this Angel, go smash it!” Bliss chimes in, giving me a thumbs up and a grin. I say one last goodbye to them all, and hang up.

I look back down at my pizza, still uneaten. I need to stop letting myself get distracted during phone calls. I can eat and talk to my friends at the same time. I’m usually a master at it.

“Fereshteh!” I look up again. Either I’m going loony, or someone just said-

“FERESHTEH!” I turn around and see Mollie and Christina barrelling towards me, with the most excitement I’ve ever seen on a students’ face during exam season. They crash into my table and both start talking at once.

“Have you seen??”

“Did you know??”

“How long have they been together?!”

“Oh my god is this why you won’t tell us about what happened in Kent?!”

“Woah, easy on the interrogation! Seriously, you guys need to work on your interview skills.” I put my hands up in surrender and laugh. Mollie rolls her eyes at me.

“So? Did they tell you or what?” She asks again. I roll my eyes back at her.

“You know I don’t want to tell you guys anything about the boys. They trust me, and I’m not going to fuck that up because of some shit a tabloid prints.”

“How dare you appeal to our morality and ethics, we want gossip dammit!” Christina giggles, lightly banging her fist down on the table.

“Then stick to the Twitter pages.” I stick my tongue out at her. Mollie and Christina are two of my housemates, and are part of the Ark fandom. I never planned on telling them about Kent, but they figured out who I was thanks to the pictures of me and Jimmy on the train. I didn’t think you could tell it was me, but fangirls are like master detectives. They figured it out in less than a week. They haven’t told anyone though, they’re good mates.

“So how are you feeling about all of this? Whether you knew or not, having it out in the press like this is a lot to handle, especially after last time.” Mollie says, now in serious mode.

“It is a lot, definitely, but they’ll be fine. They’ve had this happen before and they know what to expect from the fans. I just wish I could be there for them.” I say, sitting back in my chair.

“I get

that, it must suck that you guys are so far apart now.” Christina chimes in.

“I mean it’s not like we ever lived close to each other before. The only reason we even crossed paths over the summer was because I was staying with a friend. But yeah, being away from them all is kind of hard sometimes.” I sigh dramatically, making Mollie and Christina grin.

“Are you going to visit them over Christmas?” Christina asks.

“I’m definitely going to visit my friend in London again, for a day or two, but I don’t know if we’ll be able to see the boys.” I quickly lie. “They cut back on public events but they’re still really busy most of the time. And this,” I gesture to my phone “definitely won’t help.”

“We’ll keep an eye on fandom updates for you, and try to shut any mentions of Jowan down,” Mollie says, reaching across the table and giving my hand a gentle squeeze. I squeeze hers back and give her a grateful smile. I mostly stopped interacting with the fandom after meeting the boys, reading fanfiction, and discussing theories with other fans just feels weird and creepy to do when the people you’re talking about are your friends. So it’s nice that I have Mollie and Christina looking out for them, and doing what I can’t. Christina has a pretty big following on Tumblr, and Mollie’s a Twitter ace, so I trust them to hold their ground with the fandom.

“Okay, you don’t have to give us any details, but genuinely, what do you think of Lister and Jimmy as a couple? Because I don’t think the fandom could handle a breakup.” Christina says after a while, making me laugh.

“Pfft, yeah I don’t think the boys could handle a breakup, either.” I smile. “But honestly? I think they’ll be good for each other. Lister is good at helping Jimmy relax and step out of his anxiety bubble, and Jimmy can help reign in Lister’s chaotic energy. Plus they’re freaking cute together, I mean just look at this picture!” I finish, gesturing dramatically to my phone again.

“They are so cute!” Mollie nods in agreement. “I’m actually shocked no one thought to ship them together before.”

“That’s the Jowan storm, for you,” Christina adds. “Can’t believe we ever shipped that.”

“So gross.” I shudder at the thought. Suddenly the alarm I’d set this morning went off, making us all jump.

“What’s that?” Mollie asks. I check the screen and practically leap out of my seat.

“Oh shit, my exam starts in 10 minutes!” I say, gathering my stuff up as quickly as I can. I say my goodbyes to Mollie and Christina and start running back across campus to the exam hall.

I make it just in time, much to the invigilator’s chagrin, check my bag in at the desk at the back of the hall, and collapse into my assigned seat. The exam starts, and it’s only when it does that my stomach reminds me that I never actually ate lunch. Shit.

I start to silently scold myself for being so stupid, when my mind starts drifting to the video chat with Jimmy and the others. He and Lister looked so comfortable with each other. Makes sense, they've known each other for so long. But even still, Jimmy looked so much happier once Lister sat down with him, and Lister himself practically seemed at home with Jimmy’s arms wrapped around him. I smile at my exam paper.

I’m so happy for them.

[dirtykpopsnaps]

Oh, Shit...He’s A Swimmer — Dannyphantom.exe smut

Warnings: This fic contains 18+ material. Anyone under 18 seen interacting with this fic will be blocked!!

Contains: Swimmer!Danny. Lifeguard!Y/N. (Kind of) public sex. unprotected sex (he pulls out, but wrap it up). I think that’s it?? This isn’t really kinky...

Also, a short appearance from William_papa_

Requested: no

Words: 3, 541 (oh, holy shit)

A/N: Okay...the character Nicole in this fic is *heavily* based on my best friend. Some of Nicole’s lines are things that she actually says.

————————————————————————

All around me, students hurry from class to class. The sun is shining brightly overhead and I hum happily in the warmth. A soft wind tussles my hair as I make my way towards the main building. I hike my bookbag further up on my shoulder and pull open the door, looking around for my best friend. My eyes flit over several groups of students before I see her and smile brightly. “Nicole!” I exclaim, hurrying over to her. Nicole’s eyes meet mine and she smiles happily, pushing away from the wall she was leaning on. “Ready for lunch?” I ask.

“Ugh, yes. I’m a hungry hippo,” she complains, rubbing her stomach. I laugh lightly, rolling my eyes at her.

“Has Will shown up yet? I didn’t see him,” I say, looking around again.

“Okay, if he was here, you would see him. Your brother is a giant,” she reminds me.

“Tell me about it. Dunno how he got all the height in the family and I ended up a measly 5’4,” I sigh.

Chatting back and forth, Nicole and I walk into the dining hall. We grab a table and I set down my bookbag before heading towards the cafeteria line. I grab two plates and hand one to Nicole, looking at the food that’s being offered today. Calmly, I grab some fries and a chicken patty on a bun before getting a water bottle. Nicole grabs her food and follows me back to the table.

At the table, we both sit down. I notice some a new bookbag and ID have appeared and immediately know that Will is here. Nicole must notice, too, because she comments on it before sitting down and starting to eat. Our lunch conversation is fairly normal. We talk about classes and assignments that we have to do. When my brother joins us, I start talking about something funny that happened in one of my classes today.

All around us, other students are talking happily with their friends. When our conversation lulls, I start looking around at the other students. This is something that I like doing sometimes, people watching. It’s interesting to see what other people are doing and wonder what’s going on in their life. My eyes scan over the room, resting on no one in particular. Suddenly, my eyes are drawn across the room and I see...him. He’s sitting by himself at a table, just staring off into space. His white-blonde hair looks cute and fluffy and I have the urge to run my fingers through it. His strong arms are on full display, leaned against the table with his chin his palm. Truthfully, he’s very attractive, but I’m more just curious about who he is.

I must have been quiet for a while because I’m pulled back to the conversation with a shout of my name. I blink a few times, focusing back on Nicole and Will. They’re both staring at me and I flash an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry...what were you saying?” I ask. Nicole rolls her eyes at me jokingly.

“What am I, chopped liver?” She asks. I laugh lightly, shaking my head.

“No, no, sorry. Just people watching,” I say.

“Any interesting people?” Will asks, looking around the cafeteria. I look back over in the direction of the white-haired boy.

“Well...there’s this guy that I don’t recognize. He might’ve transferred this semester or something,” I say, shrugging lightly.

“Where?” Will asks, looking around again.

“Over there. He’s alone at a table, white hair.”

Quietly, Will follows my eyesight and he seems to see the boy, too. “Oh, that’s Danny,” he says calmly, going back to his food. I stare at him in surprise.

“You know him?!” I ask in shock. Will shrugs his shoulders.

“I mean, not well. I share some classes with him. He’s nice enough,” Will explains.

“Oh, okay,” I say, starting to eat again, too.

“Yeah, he sits near me so we talk sometimes. I occasionally tell him about my soccer games and he talks about his meets.” Nicole knits her eyebrows together, turning to Will.

“His meets?” She asks. Will nods his head lightly.

“Yeah, he’s on the swim team. Joined early this semester.”

For a few seconds, there’s silence between the three of us. Then, the information he just gave us settles in.

“Wait a second...he’s a swimmer?!” I ask in shock. Will gives me a confused look for a second before answering.

“Uh...yeah? I’m pretty sure, anyway,” he says slowly. “Am...Am I missing something?” His eyes quickly dart between Nicole and I. Immediately, Nicole and I make eye contact. She throws her head back, cackling at the situation I’ve gotten myself into.

“Nope...nothing that you should know,” I say, looking back down at my food.

See the thing is...I kind of have a thing for swimmers. Nicole knows this, as I’ve told her about it several times. Honestly, I don’t know what it is. I just find swimmers very...hot. I’m not really sure why, but I’ve always found them particularly attractive. Up until recently, I was on swim team myself. I only stopped when I started college because my major is very intensive and I didn’t want to have to focus on too many things. Maybe I’ll join again one day, but who knows.

For the rest of lunch, Will keeps trying to bring the topic back up. Thankfully, Nicole helps me change the topic again every time and I’m able to avoid telling him anything. As much as I love my brother, talking about crushes and things I find attractive can be hard. He can get a bit overprotective sometimes and it’s kind of frustrating. So, if I can avoid conversations like that, I do.

Soon enough, we finish lunch and each head out to our different things. Nicole and will still have lectures, so they head towards their lecture halls. My classes finished for the day, so I go back to my dorm to work on homework. Thankfully, I don’t have too much work and I’m done within a couple hours. I take a break for a while and just turn on some random YouTube videos. Around 5 o’clock, I change into my swimsuit and pull clothes over top. I’m having dinner with Will and Nicole like every night and then I’m going to head to my job at the school’s indoor pool. I’m the lifeguard, so I kind of need to be there for people to be able to swim.

Dinner is normal, small conversation between the three of us. Thankfully, Will seems to have forgotten about our lunchtime conversation, so I don’t need to worry about that. When I’m done with dinner, I say goodbye to Nicole and Will before heading towards the college’s sports center. The sports center is a large building over by the football field and holds a lot of the college’s indoor sports. There’s a gym, dance rooms, track and basketball courts, plus an indoor pool. I’m almost always here, even when I’m not working. Like I said, I enjoy swimming, so I usually swim when I’m not working.

Calmly, I walk into the sports center and make my way towards the pool. I unlock the doors and turn on the lights, pulling my clothes off and putting them in the lifeguard locker. For the most part, the lifeguard shifts are pretty quiet. Of course, there’s the regulars that come in, but they usually take Friday and the weekends off. I sigh softly, sitting in the lifeguard chair and just listening to the buzz of the overhead lights.

For a while, everything is pretty quiet. Then, out of nowhere, I hear one of the changing room doors open and close. Not thinking much of it, I look up to see who’s entered the pool. Standing just at the end of one of the pool lanes, slowly getting into the water is...him. The boy from lunch...Danny, I think Will called him. I feel my eyes get wide before I look down at my lap again, my mind going into a frenzy. ‘He’s never come before, why is he here now?! He’s here to swim, you idiot. Oh my god. Holy shit...I have to watch him swim. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK.’ I’m internally screaming at the thoughts of having to watch this incredibly hot guy swim.

Taking a deep breath, I try to clear my head. Looking up again, my eyes fall on Danny. He’s in the water now and is slowly starting to swim laps. I watch as the water makes ripples where his arms and legs enter and exit. His drenched white-blonde hair sticks to his forehead when he comes up for bits of air. His arms are on even better display than they were at lunch and I can’t help but watch as his muscles flex while he swims. ‘stop that. but... no, stop that! he’s gonna think you’re some weirdo!’ my mind yells at me. I sigh softly, fiddling with the rings of keys that I have.

Suddenly, I hear someone speak up and my heart stops. There’s only one person that it could be. “You know...it’s rude to stare. Though, I’m not complaining,” he chuckles. His voice is a little higher than I imagined, but it doesn’t bother me. I scramble for words, trying to think of *anything* to say to him.

“Sorry. I don’t mean to, I just...I...you’re...you’re really handsome and I...I can’t help it,” I stumble over my words. Internally, I’m smacking myself over the head. Y/N...you are a goddamn idiot.

“Oh, well, I’m glad you think so. You’re rather pretty, as well,” he smiles. I stare at him with wide eyes.

“I...me?!” I ask, pointing at my chest. He laughs lightly, his beautiful caramel eyes lighting up.

“Is that so hard to believe? I’m surprised you don’t hear it more often.”

Resting his arms against the tiled floor, he looks up at me from the water. “It’s...not so much hard to believe as it is surprising to hear from someone as hot as you,” I explain.

“What can I say? I see a pretty girl and I just have to let her know,” he chuckles.

“I’m not complaining, just a little surprised,” I respond. He flashes a bright smile.

“I’ll just need to make sure to compliment you more often.” With that, he pushes off the wall and starts doing laps again.

While he’s here, I do my best to focus on my actual job. Though, my job is to make sure he’s okay, so...I suppose I was doing my job, anyway. No one else comes into the pool, surprisingly. For a couple hours, it’s just the two of us talking. Danny stops every once in a while and holds up short conversations to me. While he’s swimming, I try not to stare at him too much. Though, there’s not much else to do in here, so my eyes keep getting drawn back to him. Every few laps, he switches swimming styles, sometimes swimming free style and other times backstroke.

The time slowly ticks by and I’m bored out of my mind. Besides having Danny to talk to, nothing else is going on. I sigh softly, leaning back against the lifeguard chair. Against the wall, the clock clicks again and I look up. It reads back 9 o’clock and I stand up, getting Danny’s attention. He stops swimming and looks up at me, treading water. “Pools gotta close,” I tell him. He nods his head once and swims down to the end, climbing out of the water.

Yet again, I have to force my eyes to look elsewhere. The water droplets running down his broad back is so much more sensual than it should be. I jump in surprise when I feel his presence next to me. Trying to keep my breathing steady, I look up into those gorgeous, caramel eyes. “You know...I’ve been thinking of this all night,” he hums softly. I feel his cool hand brush against my face lightly. “Can I kiss you?” He asks. My breath is completely gone and all I can do is nod my head. He flashes a small smile and leans forward, capturing my lips with his.

Leaning forward, I wrap my arms around his neck. I can feel water dripping onto my skin, but I couldn’t care less. His lips taste slightly salty, most likely from the chlorine, but I don’t mind it. His hands are resting against my hips, kneading the skin. When he pulls away, I try to lean up and chase his lips. He just chuckles at me. “Darling...if you want this to go any further, I suggest we move to the locker room,” he says softly. My mind is so fuzzy that it takes me a few seconds to realize what he means. Then, it dawns on me. We’ve been making out in the middle of the indoor swimming area.

Looking over towards the locker room, I bite my lip. Do I want this to to further? There’s only once place it could go. Plus, I barely know him. I look back at Danny and immediately my mind goes blank again. *How* can he be so gorgeous?! All thoughts leave my head and I take Danny’s hand in mine, leading him towards the men’s locker room.

Calmly, I push open the door and head inside. Danny follows after me, letting the door shut behind him. Suddenly, I feel his hand start shaking slightly. Looking over my shoulder, I see Danny shivering slightly. “Are you okay?” I ask in shock. He laughs lightly, nodding his head.

“Yeah, I’m alright. The locker room is just cold,” he tells me. It’s only then that I remember that he hasn’t even dried off yet. I immediately let go of his hand and he walks over to the lockers. He opens one up and pulls out a towel, drying off his hair and then the rest of his body.

For a little while, I just watch him dry off. When he’s on, he sets the towel down on the wooden bench in the middle of the room. He opens his arms up to me and I walk up to him. I wrap my arms around his neck again and he pulls me into another kiss. This kiss is more sweet and soft than the last one. “Do you still wanna do this?” He asks softly. I nod my head and twist my fingers into his hair, but he shakes his head.

“Ah, ah. Use your words.” I sigh softly, looking into his eyes again.

“Yes, Danny, I want to do this,” I reassure him. He smile softly and starts to press kisses across my jaw and neck. I lean my head back, giving him more room to work with.

When I feel his kisses start drifting down more, I take my fingers out of his hair and pull down the straps of my top. Danny pulls down the other strap and helps me pull the fop off. When it hits the ground, he hums lightly, pressing more kisses to the tops of my breasts. I sigh softly, leaning back against the lockers. When he takes one of my nipples into his mouth, I gasp softly. Danny takes his time, moving back and forth between my nipples and leaving small hickies on my breasts. I tug lightly at his hair, getting more and more frustrated. “Danny, please do something,” I whine. He chuckles and nips lightly at my nipple before he starts moving down again.

Smoothly, he kneels down and continues pressing kisses down my body. But, as much as I want him to continue, I’m already overly frustrated. I groan in frustration and pull him to his feet again. “Danny, I swear to God, if you don’t do something, I might die,” I complain.

“Oh, someone’s demanding,” he chuckles darkly. I narrow my eyes at him, taking deep breaths. However, before I can open my mouth again, he snaps the elastic of my swimsuit against my hip. “Don’t worry. You won’t have to wait much longer.” He tugs my swimsuit bottoms down and they fall to the ground, joining my top. Now I’m completely bare in front of him.

Normally, this would make me feel a bit self-conscious. But, right now my mind is too focused on him. I help Danny tug down his shorts and they join my small pile of clothes. My eyes are immediately drawn to his hard cock, but Danny lifts my chin up lightly. We make eye contact again and he smirks at me. I’m pulled onto his chest, but we don’t break eye contact. Danny takes one of his hands and rubs his cock between my folds, collecting the essence there. Then, he lines himself at my hole.

As he pushes into me, I feel a slight stinging. I hiss at the feeling and he immediately stops, but I shake my head. “I’m okay, I’m okay. Don’t stop,” I tell him, my voice faltering a little. He continues pushing into me and I take breaths, raking my nails down his back. Danny groans at the feeling, but doesn’t stop until he bottoms out. When he’s completely inside me, he holds me tightly to his chest and allows me to adjust for a little bit. I take deep breaths, trying to relax my body.

Once I’ve relaxed a little bit, Danny presses me up against the lockers again. I told tightly to his shoulders as he pulls out, then snaps his hips back in. When he snaps his hips, I’m pushed up the locker a little further. He slowly begins to build a rhythm and I hold on tight, slowly starting to feel the pleasure take over. I twist my fingers into his hair, leaning my head back against the locker. “F-Fuck, Danny,” I mutter softly, panting.

“God, you’re so fucking tight. Is this your first?” He groans. I shake my head, my eyes screwed up.

“N-No, just...it’s been a while,” I pant, my nails digging into his shoulders.

Over and over, Danny snaps his hips into me. As he pulls out, he rubs against the spot within me that even I can’t hit. I moan loudly, not even caring that anyone could walk in at any moment. The exhilaration and fast pace pushes me to the edge very quickly. I rake my nails down Danny’s back again, moaning. “D-Danny, I’m gonna come,” I moan.

“Come for me, sweetheart,” he pants. At his words, I fall over the edge and clench around him. The feel of euphoria floods my veins as my orgasm hits me hard.

Just as I’m coming down, I feel Danny pull out. He pumps his cock in front of me for a few seconds, then he spills over his hand and onto my lower stomach. He head is thrown back as he moans loudly, letting the pleasure run through him. His hair is sticking slightly to his sweaty forehead and I smile softly, brushing his hair off his forehead.

For a few seconds, we both catch our breaths. Danny steps away and comes back a second later with a paper towel. He wipes his cum off of my stomach and throws the towel away, then we both start dressing again. There’s silence between us and my thoughts are yelling that this was stupid. He’s probably gonna leave us now and never talk to us again. I pull on my swimsuit before turning and starting to leave. However, before I walk off, Danny grabs my wrist. “Where are you going? I thought the pool closed,” he says. I nod my lightly.

“Uh, yeah, but...I still need to lock up,” I remind him.

“Oh. Is it okay if I wait with you? I wanna walk you back to your dorm.”

As soon as he says that, my heart swells. That is actually really sweet. A huge smile spreads across my face. “Yeah, Danny, of course. I don’t mind,” I giggle lightly. He flashes me a bright smile and we head back into the pool area, locking up. When I’m done locking up, I throw my clothes on overtop of my swimsuit. I make sure that I have everything before walking back over to Danny. He holds the door for me and we both head back towards main campus.

On the walk back, we exchange phone numbers. We talk a little bit about things like our majors and what we like to do. “You should come to one of my meets,” he offers, looking down at me. I nod my head happily.

“Yeah, I’d really like that. Maybe I can get Will or Nicole to come,” I suggest.

“That would be nice. But, yeah...it would be cool to see you at one of my meets,” he smiles.

Too quickly, I’m back at the main door of my dorm. I pull out my ID and open the door before turning back around. “Text me!” Danny calls. I giggle lightly and wave to him before heading inside. As soon as I’m out of sight, I squeal to myself and do a little happy dance. Wow...that is not how I expected work to go tonight.

[k-comfyspace]

Instinct

Star: Kim Yoohyeon (Dreamcatcher)

Idea: No

A person who liked to hide in the shadows, secrets being buried in the depths. You carried it over from generation to generation but meeting new people, would you still continue to stay in the dark? To lie your way out of the questions that popped up, even if someone gets hurt

Warning/s: mention of blood

You left your apartment wearing your jacket as you went down the elevator before stepping outside into the blazing sun, you walked down the street at the bus stop, waiting for your bus to arrive while you observed your surroundings.

You lived in a fair neighborhood, not much happening. It was a peaceful place, trees lining the streets, it was bright, colorful, and the locals were all in their late adult years so you had no issue with people constantly annoying you all the time.

You went to a good school, funded by your parents of course, who lived just a few cities away. They often visited you too during their off times while you would often go when you had free time but generally you could always go there if you wanted to. In school you got good grades, not the best of the best but it was high enough for you to pass.

Your friends were nice, as you made sure to stay away from the cliche cliques that would be a part of high school, which resulted in a lot of people concluding that you had a good life.

However, not everything is always perfect as it seems.

When you got to school you walked into your class sitting at your usual spot as you turned to your friend who was busy writing her notes, “Isn’t it a bit too early for this?” you asked the blue haired girl, who finished writing the sentence before glancing at you with her eyebrows raised,

“Do you have any other way to pass the time?” she asked, a teasing grin growing on your lips as you spoke.

“How about talk to the brunette you’ve been pining on for weeks?” you suggested with a hint of teasing, as the girl in front of you lowered her head. Her cheeks coating with a sheen of pink before she whined and pushed you in annoyance, “I’m not pining for her,” she muttered to herself but you did easily hear her, a laugh escaping past your lips.

In the corner of your eye you took a glance at the girl at the back, seeing the brunette twist her pen in her hands while conversing with her friends.

Your friend looked at you as you reached for your flask, another laugh pouring from your mouth at the glare she was giving you before taking a sip, causing her to inquire, “Isn't it too early for that?” she said, giving your own question back to you, her eyes wide with surprise and concern while you merely waved a hand at her.

“I didn’t eat breakfast,” you replied, shrugging your shoulders, taking one more sip before placing it back in your bag.

You made sure to wipe your lips as the bell rang, everyone inside the room standing to greet the teacher. She walked in front of four students walking behind her, following closely as the eldest woman stood a little to the side, letting them be the center of attention.

All the students in the class, including you, stared at the four in confusion, it’s been half the semester. Maybe they were exchange students? You thought as the woman smiled before speaking.

“Good morning class, I know it's a little later than normal, but the principal assigned us new students. As you might have heard on the news, there was an accident in Kingsville a few days ago that resulted in the loss of most of their facilities. Unfortunately most of it was deemed unrecoverable. But since our school is the closest it has encouraged many of their former students to continue their studies here, so let’s all listen to them, please introduce yourself, girls.”

They introduced themselves, the class seemed to love their enthusiasm, the bright smiles that they wore and the gratefulness in their tone made it all seem that they were new students introducing themselves on their first day, you listened and observed each one, first being Lee Siyeon who had white hair, sharp eyes, and a sharp jaw.

She spoke confidently and you didn’t know if it was you but she sort of resembles a wolf. The next was Kim Bora, black haired girl who had round eyes. She is the shortest out of the group but the energy she showed makes up for it.

Beside her was Lee Yubin, she had black hair that reached up to her back, her features were soft, her eyes were relaxed, and only gave a small smile as she bowed stepping back for the last one in the group, “Good morning everyone, my name is Kim Yoohyeon, please take care of me,”

Yoohyeon had silver hair, she had round eyes like Bora and when she smiled her eyes disappeared as they turned into crescents almost infecting said smile unto you, noticing as well that she was the tallest one in the group, contrasting to the girl a few feet from her. The group the seats around the room,

“Girls feel free to ask anyone for help, I know you’re a little late so don’t hesitate to ask if you need help,”

Once everyone was settled, the lecture started. The teacher paced it slowly, giving the girls an opportunity to catch on and understand, sometimes answering the question as best as they understood. Soon enough the period was over and you were already heading to the cafeteria for lunch,

Sitting down at your table your other companion was already there, smiling when she saw both of you approach, “Minji unnie,” you greeted her taking the seat beside the older girl and began to converse.

It was usually what you did during your lunch period, staying at your group as you talked about all the random things you could think about, sometimes relating to projects, certain teachers, and sometimes playing small games to pass the time. The three of you didn’t need to eat since you would do it sometime later anyway.

“Minji unnie, Dongie, are you free to come by to the apartment tonight? Mom and dad have been pestering me for weeks to have you two over,”

The two girls laughed but still agreeing, “I could imagine their faces,” Handong commented earning a groan of annoyance and an eye roll from you, though it was directed more jokingly,

“It’s like they’re not expecting me to be there when they come, the first thing I hear when they arrive is, ‘Handong and Minji, are they here?’ I feel replaced,” you complained, further increasing the chuckles coming from the two before a new voice joined in.

“Hi,” you take a glance to the side seeing Yoohyeon and Yubin, both holding a tray of food before the taller girl asked shyly, “Do you mind if we take a seat with you guys, the others are pretty cramped,” she asked, the three of you offering them a kind smile,

“Sure, nice to meet you, Yoohyeon and...Yubin isn’t it?” you asked the quiet girl who answered with a nod as they sat down, “Oh this is Minji unnie, she’s a friend of ours,” you introduced the eldest waving a hand to the two.

While Yoohyeon and Yubin started to eat, Minji started some small talk, just to relieve the awkwardness that was practically radiating off the two girls, only keeping their eyes focused on their food. You turned your head to busy yourself with something, catching a glance at a familiar white haired girl who pointed in your direction., “Do you know them?” turning to the two girls who looked up to see you gesturing to the white haired female who kept gazing at your particular direction.

“Oh, we do, Siyeon unnie!” Yoohyeon waved them over, the said girl talked with her companions seemingly whining based on the way her lips pouted and her eyebrows furrowed.

It took them a minute before three figures stood up, padding to your direction, a smile spread on your face when you noticed another familiar face approaching your table, “Hi,” the white haired introduced herself meeting all of your smiles.

“Siyeon right?” she nodded her head before all of your attention turned to the other two who came with her, you noticed the sharp inhale from your friend, side eyeing her with a small grin.

“This is my friend Bora and--”

“Gahyeon-ssi,” you finished for her, earning a nod from the brunette and the white haired, “She's my younger sister,” Siyeon explained, causing you, Minji, and Handong to look surprised. You were unaware that the brunette had any siblings, but in retrospect, you didn't speak with the quiet girl very frequently since she preferred to keep facts to herself.

You motioned for them to take a seat, observing how Handong's cheeks flushed when the brunette sat near her. You leaned back, a bright smile on your face, as you watched Handong becoming increasingly uncomfortable.

The discussion gradually developed over your time in the cafeteria, the uneasy air dispersing, as each one became a little comfortable with each other,

“Do you people not eat?” Yoohyeon inquired abruptly, observing how everyone else had their own trays while you three were conversing with them, “We like to skip lunch and have dinner later,” you answered, smiling again, before Minji continued the previous topic, essentially forcing them out of the topic.

The majority of the girls had become closer to your party by the end of the day, chatting often during breaks and exchanging laughs as you walked through the halls. “We'll see you tomorrow!” you grinned at their group as you and Handong waited for Minji to return.

“Would you two mind heading there first?” Minji inquired, typing on her phone before adding, "I have some stuff to complete, but I promise to make it before your parents arrive," you nodded and waved goodbye as you and Handong walked to the bus station for your bus.

Arriving at home Handong made herself at home, having been inside your apartment a multitude of times as you went to your room to get an extra pair for your friend to change in, when you entered the living room you threw your friend sweatpants and a hoodie getting your flask from your backpack and finishing the rest that it contained.

You licked your lips clean and hopped onto the couch taking Handong’s place as she entered your room to change.

After she left your room dressed more comfortably you turned on the TV, passing by the time and watching whatever was on while you waited for your guests.

--

You didn’t notice it but the show had been playing for a few hours, fully capturing both of your attention since you didn’t notice the sudden shift in the temperature, the mist that appeared in your hall, and you weren’t going to pay attention until you heard the footsteps in the hallway.

Turning your head, a smile appeared on your face when two figures emerged. Handong also turned her head, her own smile gracing her face, seeing the two older people walk in with grins.

“Auntie, uncle,” Handong greeted, but suddenly got pulled forward as your parents gave her a warm hug and while Handong was receiving a pat on the back, you stood there at the side a scowl replacing your smile as you took in the scene in front of you,

“Hello, excuse me!”

The three pulled apart seeing your expression, arms crossed against your chest while you pouted, “Oh, hi dear,” you scoffed hearing your mother’s greeting, the older woman rolled her eyes and moved to approach you but in the hallway mist appeared again as the sound of your other friend rang in your ears,

“Sorry I’m late!” Almost like magic, your mother’s attention moved to the purple haired girl.

“Minji!” Your jaws dropped as your parents rushed to hug the older girl, causing Handong to laugh beside you, “My parents don't really care for me,” you muttered, your voice reaching out to your parents as they pulled away and turned to you,

“Oh, don't be such a whine, could you get us some drinks please, we're parched,” shaking your head, you turned to go to the kitchen, not before turning with your hands folded to your parents.

“Is there anything else you’d like, sir, madam?”

“No, no, that'll do it,” the four of them grinned when they saw you grumble at the comeback. You took a package from your fridge, slit it open, and poured the liquid into the cups after getting the glasses out of the cupboards. As the red liquid splashed inside, you stood there watching. Staring at the liquid, you contemplated your life.

It might seem that your life was flawless, that you had everything you ever desired, that you were living the greatest life the universe had to give, but they were unaware of the secrets that had slipped inside, the curse that had shaped your life and that of your generation.

Your senses are heightened, your pulse is still, your skin is colder than stone, you have the strength of a thousand men, and you have a hunger for blood.

A devil who roamed the world, hiding among the humans and living in the darkness, or, as it is more often called in modern days, a vampire. It has been passed down from the family for thousands of years, all the way back to the time when the great Count ruled.

You were fortunate to have existed in a period where vampires were free to pursue their own lives, evolving to adapt to the environment we live in today rather than being the bloodsucking predators that everyone was terrified of.

Taking the glass to the living room you gave your parents their glasses, having them thank you as you joined in on their conversation.

--

For the following weeks of school, the eight of you have been almost inseparable, already forming your own group in the cafeteria actually calling them your friend you never thought that in the one hundred and sixteen years you’ve been living.

You, as well as Handong and Minji never thought that you would be attached to them since you tried to not get closer to them, not because you hated them but because you could put them in danger.

You were addicted to blood, though it’s been years since you’ve had some, only bringing around sheep’s blood in your bottles. It was the food that you would intake, either it be in the middle of class or during your sports activities, to keep you away from the urge and to give you strength when you needed it.

Because any vampire wouldn’t be able to eat human food unless they wanted to end themselves.

You never wanted to endanger people, it was the last thing that you would want, but it was already too late into the friendship when you realized that one of them was extremely clumsy.

It became apparent when the girl was hanging out more with you, where you would constantly be by her side to react when she would accidentally trip or slip on basically nothing but herself. You were deemed Yoohyeon’s bodyguard by the girls and you weren’t going to deny it.

Because every twenty minutes she seemed to need help and you would be around the corner to help. There are times where it came dangerously close, when Yoohyeon accidentally tripped on the stairs, hitting her knees where she got cut.

Unfortunately for you, the scent of blood was too strong, you could feel your fangs coming out, breathing heavily but thankfully Handong already had her breakfast. She reacted quickly and grabbed your hand, speeding past everybody in the hallway and locked both of you in the janitor’s closet.

Quickly taking your bottle she opened it, waving the scent in your direction as the glowing red eyes faced her. With your instincts taking over you snatched the bottle taking what you needed as you slowly calmed down.

When the glow in your eyes disappeared and your breathing became relaxed you got back into your senses and shook your head, wiping the blood off your lips as you glanced at your friend.

“T-thank you,”

When you got back into the hallway you could see in the end that Yoohyeon was being helped by Minji, the other girls looking at the puppy who only smiled and laughed at her accident.

The older girl sensed you and glanced in your direction, seeing the worried look on your face before she nodded with an assuring smile.

After that day you made sure to always take your food before leaving your apartment, either on the bus or before you entered the school, not wanting to put yourself into that situation again.

“Y/n!” The weight on your back made you move slightly forwards, your hands automatically going behind you to support whoever it was on your back.

Turning your head you’re met with a familiar ball of silver hair, a smile forming on your lips as you carried the girl with you while you walked toward the school, “Isn’t it too early for this Yooh,” you inquired, yet still holding the girl all the way to your class.

“Aren’t you getting tired?” she asked you after a minute and you shook your head, even teasing her as you walked with a slight skip in your steps. Resting her head on your shoulder Yoohyeon looked at you, observing your side profile as you walked.

It’s only been a month since Yoohyeon met you and she didn’t realize it but even just a few weeks of being together you were already so close to her heart than anyone else that she’s known. It might be just simple puppy love because you’ve been super nice to them since the beginning, but she was definitely falling fast.

Closing her eyes, Yoohyeon snuggled her head into the crook of your neck, releasing a sigh when she felt you move your head to let her nuzzle further.

You stifled a laugh, stopping abruptly and letting her down, as the puppy became confused.

“Why did you let me down?” she asked with a pout, making you furrow your brows at the strange feeling you had in your stomach until you replaced it with a smile, “I was getting tired,” You took a couple of steps back, an evil smile creeping over your lips, before adding,

"And you're growing heavier." You watched her mouth drop before turning and running, hearing Yoohyeon call your name, loud steps trailing behind you. Your laugh echoed through the corridors, stopping a little to enable the tall girl to pursue you.

When you ran into your class, the girls looked at you strangely as they saw you pant and look at the door with a grin on your lips. When the taller girl didn't follow, the grin transformed into a pout, but when you walked to the entrance, you peered around and a slight smile appeared on your face as you noticed Yoohyeon seated on the floor.

Yoohyeon dusted her knees before a hand was extended to her, she glanced up and met your gentle eyes, you both paused for a moment until she matched your smile and took your hand in hers. What she did next, though, shocked not only you but also your friends who peered through the frame.

Yoohyeon let herself be swept up by the momentum, enabling herself to get near enough to plant a kiss on your cheek.

“Thanks,” she said as she walked to the classroom, leaving you standing idly, frozen. You put your hand to your cheek, the burning feeling she left on your skin felt like the sun, but it was a pleasant burn.

Since you actually felt warmer, for the first time in years.

--

Having this kind of friendship with Yoohyeon was a great deal of fun and Yoohyeon added a whole different element to your life by enabling you to enjoy the benefits of making new friends and the unexpected hangouts that all of you would have. But you knew that one day, a few moments might go wrong, and everything you have will disappear in an instant.

Which was precisely what occurred the very next day.

You dressed up then went to the kitchen to get your flask, though when you checked the fridge you didn't see your bottle, you were puzzled. Looking around, you saw it on your counter and picked it up, just to discover it was empty.

At first, you didn't care and simply opened the other part of your fridge to grab some more. However, you swore under your breath when you opened it but saw nothing.

You had forgotten that you were supposed to get some yesterday, you stood there for a while and after some consideration, you decided to ask Handong instead. Making the mistake of leaving your apartment, thinking you'd get some food from the other girl.

As you got to school, you were agitated, every move you took was worrying, causing you to look around, everything seemed to be moving faster. You inhaled sharply when you reached your room and saw that Handong wasn't around, so you rushed outside to find Minji's room, but your luck seemed to be against you when the tall puppy met your gaze,

“Y/n!” You forced a smile at the younger girl, darting your gaze around the hall in the hopes of catching a glimpse of Handong.

But, as your friend was nowhere to be found, Yoohyeon pulled you back into the room as you tried to remain calm, doing breathing exercises in your head to calm your nerves, hoping that Handong would soon walk through the door.

When your friend finally arrived, the bell had already rung, and you stood by the side, fists clenched and twitching uncontrollably, as everyone is ready to welcome the teacher.

You couldn't talk with your friend because you weren't sure whether you could contain the growl in your voice, but you made it until lunchtime when your burden eased a little when you stood up to talk to your friend.

Handong looked at you when she noticed you fidgeting a lot, glancing at your form, her eyes filled with worry when she saw how uncomfortable you looked, your arms were shaking and your eye was twitching, “What's wrong?” she questioned, holding you by the shoulders to calm you down,

“Food,” she heard the slight rasp in your voice, her worry growing as she glanced at her bottle, knowing she already used it this morning.

The Chinese woman grabbed your wrist and rushed out of the room, heading for Minji's class, where you caught the purple haired girl as she exited the room, "Unnie!"

When Minji turned her head in the direction of her call, she saw Handong bringing you along with her, and she became concerned when she didn't see the familiar smile on your features.

“What's wrong with Y/n?” she inquired, noting how your hands seemed to shake and your eyes remained closed as you inhaled deeply. You didn't open because you didn't want your eyes to show red, so you waited for one of them to pull you instead.

As a result, when you feel an arm around your wrist, you let it pull you away. More of the weight dissipates when you hear less and less voices around you.

However, you felt dread in your being when you heard a different voice, “Y/n?” When Yoohyeon stood in front of you with a smile, your eyes popped open and your whole body froze. Why was she here? How did she bring you here? What happened to Handong and Minji?

Your senses were sensitive as you felt all the controls wither away, and the fears in your mind began to build along with your breathing. Yoohyeon began to speak about something but you couldn't hear her.

You felt your self control break as all the restraints faded away. Yoohyeon realized you'd been silent for a while before becoming concerned when your body began to shake as you groaned to yourself while squeezing your fists.

“Y—”

“Run,”

She heard you mutter silently, but the noise was muted in her ears, puzzled by your remark still staying as she stood in silence.

“What are you saying, Y/n, do you need anything—”

“Run, Yoohyeon!” You screamed, but it was too late.

As Yoohyeon approached, a curtain of red engulfed your view. When you raised your head, Yoohyeon’s eyes grew big when she saw your eyes, changed into dark red, mouth open as your fangs started to grow. She stepped back, repeatedly calling out for your name but you were too deep into the hunger that you didn’t hear anything, slowly you approached Yoohyeon as she kept backing up until she hit the wall.

She can’t help but be afraid as she saw your form, cowering in the corner before feeling you grip her wrist. She tried to fight you off but you were too strong. It wasn’t a second later when she felt pain shoot up her arm, an ear piercing scream echoing in the sky.

Handong and Minji turned when they heard the scream, turning to each other and cursing when they didn’t see you. As quickly as they could they used their speed to go towards the sounds of the scream, jumping up to the roof where they froze when they saw you, biting Yoohyeon’s arm as the girl yelled in agonizing pain.

Minji responded instantly, grabbing your arm and hurling you against a nearby wall, Yoohyeon's eyes falling as she dozed off. You are still red-eyed, irritated that you'd been disrupted.

You rose to your feet before being struck by a sudden pain in the back of the head, your vision blurring as you collapsed, Handong standing behind you, her face expressionless.

--

When you opened your eyes, you groaned as you felt your head hurting. Sitting up you recognized the surroundings, the red walls, and the white ceiling, you were inside your room. But how?

The last thing that you remembered was going to school, hungry and tired before Handong pulled you away to Minji then--

Your eyes went wide as you stood, rushing outside your room and met Minji’s eyes down the hall. The older one saw you and opened her mouth to speak but she didn’t get the first word out when you bolted from your place, rushing past her, using your mist to get inside the room.

You clutched her cloth-wrapped wrist, immediately sensing the weight of the earth on your shoulders as you saw the younger girl lying on the bed. Walking to the side of the bed you held her wrist that was wrapped with some cloth, suddenly feeling the whole world on your chest as you watched the younger girl lay on the bed.

Your guilt is tearing at you, for the way she lay there helpless was completely your fault. Kneeling beside her, you nuzzled your face against her palm, gripping her hand against her cheek, a sliver of relief rising when you felt her pulse on your cheek.

Minji and Handong hurried in, their eyes softening as they took in the scene in front of them. Slowly walking and sitting alongside you, their palms on your back appeared to intensify the discomfort you were experiencing, making you feel even worse for what you did before you left the room a few minutes later.

Silently closing it as you padded to the living room. Your mind raced at a million miles per hour.

The idea that you had harmed someone close to you, hurt you so much that you feel as though you were dying. Because hurting someone you cared for was something you didn't want to do.

--

You stood in the living room with Minji and Handong for a moment, silent because they were unable to disturb the peace, but it didn't last long as a shrill scream echoed across the flat. You three used your abilities to accelerate.

As you arrived at the foot of the bed where Yoohyeon was tossing and twisting in bed a frown on her lips.

You moved to wake her up, but Minji resisted, shaking her head and approaching the younger girl instead.

When Minji woke her up, you were concerned about how the puppy might respond. Yoohyeon backed up against the bed and started weeping as she bolted up and met your eyes.

Listening to Yoohyeon wail and struggle, you closed your eyes, understanding that the pain you were feeling could never be compared to anything else. You searched for the right opportunity to look her in the eyes.

When you did, your eyes went bright red as you sifted through her memory, deleting the details you didn't want her to remember until she fell back against the bed, her breathing returning to normal. Before you took Minji's place beside the bed, you let out a deep sigh.

You stepped carefully to pick her up, adjusting her position in your arms to make her more comfortable before mist engulfed you, causing your two companions to stare at you sadly before you vanished.

After taking the image from Yoohyeon's head you got to her room and tucked her in, lay her flat on the bed. When you left with a heavy burden, you observed her for a few minutes more before kissing her on the forehead.

When you returned to your flat, you stepped outside of the room you were in and into your own room, looking at the floor because you didn't have the courage to glance at your friends. Knowing that your friends couldn't do much about the turmoil and frustration you were experiencing before you closed the door quietly.

For the next few days, you didn’t leave your room, only laying in your bed, shutting everybody out, and staying in your safe space.

Handong and Minji tried to get inside using their powers but you would only turn around to face the wall ignoring them until they left with a sigh, leaving the food they prepared for you.

It was so bad that your parents even came by to talk to you but like your friends they didn’t get a response either.

Meanwhile, the rest of the girls grew confused at your absence. The following days were spent without you making them seem dull, especially one particular girl who grew sadder each day that she didn’t get to see you.

After you took her memories away, Yoohyeon only remembered the prior events before that, so she believed Handong when she explained that you were sick.

Bringing up the day where you came to school rather quiet and tired. But it’s already been a week and you weren’t healthy yet?

--

The knock on your door didn’t affect you in the slightest, waiting until you saw the glint of the mist in the corner of your eye before closing your eyes. Your mother sighed as she walked toward you on the bed, taking a seat beside you she sifted her hands through your hair until it rested on your back,

“Y/n, it’s been a week, don’t you think it’s time to go outside?” she questioned, not earning a response so she sighed instead, knowing you were listening but you still pretended not to.

“It's not your fault Y/n, what happened was something you couldn't control,” she said with a puff of her breath.

" Every single one of us has done something similar before, some worse than others, it's a normal impulse, dear. Nobody could have prevented it, what matters today is what we do now, why worry about the past if you're no longer living there. You, not the past or the future, decide the present, so please don't hold yourself responsible for something you can't control.”

Before leaving, your mother gave you one more look as the temperature began to drop. You are left in silence to reflect on her words. Sitting up against the bed, you intertwined your fingers together as you pondered the situation, your gaze fixed on your wardrobe, a small flicker surging through your eyes.

--

Observing them from across the road, you saw how they interacted as they walked to the entrance, laughing and conversing.

After a week of silence, you wanted to go outside your space to see how your friends were. As a result, you're perched on a tree branch across the street, seeing what's going on.

When you noticed Yoohyeon's warm smiles, you smiled for the first time in days, capturing a little of their talk through your hearing, "I told you I might try but I didn't guarantee I would succeed,"

As you listened intently until they began their own discussions, a chuckle escaped your mouth, but your eyes and ears were only attracted to one girl as she spoke.

The softness of her voice reignited the strange sensation in your stomach, and when you started to listen, the excitement on your face quickly changed to fear as you heard something down the street.

People shouting could be heard until an engine roared from over the road, the vehicle speeding down the hill. Looking back at the girls, you were grateful that Minji and Handong had been able to notice and drag them back, interrupting their fun and unknowingly leaving one person behind as they continued to chuckle.

The truck was moving closer and closer, Minji and Handong had only just noticed that one girl was absent before turning around and yelling for her.

When Yoohyeon saw the truck, she opened her eyes and her face changed from joy to surprise. Everything moved slowly as you dashed from your hiding spot, appearing in front of Yoohyeon with your mist and covering her with your body.

Closing your eyes and seeing yourself in a different location than the one you're in right now.

Which happened to be your bedroom when you landed on the floor, rolling while cradling and covering Yoohyeon's head before crashing into the side of your bed with a groan.

You stepped back to take a brief glance at the woman, who had shock etched all over her face, darting her eyes all over the room before they found yours.

You immediately gathered her up and sat her on your bed, checking to see if she was all right before turning and disappearing in front of her.

The girls glanced at the truck, eyes streaming with tears as they called for their friend.

When you emerged in front of the girls they were shocked at your presence, and had their own confused expressions on their faces when you held each of their hands and looked at your friends, who were also stunned at your arrival, you gestured your gaze towards the school where a few students were watching before both of them understood.

They turned around, their eyes reddening, and mist engulfed the four of you as you returned to your bedroom, where Yoohyeon seemed startled as you arrived, but they didn't bother to question as they huddled together.

They wrapped their arms around each other and checked to make sure no one was hurt. You stood by the corner and let them have their moment before Minji and Handong arrived in the same manner as you, surprising the girls and making them look at you three with wide eyes.

“We'll explain, please listen to us,” you said when they were about to ask questions. Taking a deep breath, you began describing what they needed to know.

You could erase their memories, but it might just add to the problem, having to keep hiding and avoiding the one event that was bound to happen sooner or later wouldn't help the situation.

Then you told them slowly, describing who you were and where you came from as you paused for a couple breaths to let it settle in. They glanced at the three of you at the conclusion of your explanation, "Y-you won't harm us?"

“We never have and we never would do it on purpose,” Minji replied to Gahyeon, for you, relieved that they didn't scream, yell, or do something unnecessary.

“Could you please give us a moment?” you whispered, your gaze fixed on the puppy, who gave no hint of how she was feeling when she looked at you.

Handong and Minji motioned the three to the entrance, but they were afraid to leave Yoohyeon with you at first, however, after assuring her that she would be fine, you were left alone in the room with the silent puppy.

You knelt down, lowering your head as you took a few steps closer to the girl, halting and offering her the room she needed.

“Is it really true?” You nodded while the other girl didn't believe everything she’s seen, almost wanting to see everything as a huge joke that you were planning but when you suddenly raised your head and met your bright red eyes Yoohyeon gasped when you returned the memories that you had previously removed.

You closed your eyes, a tear running down your cheek as you braced yourself for what was about to happen.

Yoohyeon looked at your form, her jaw clenched as she struggled not to cry, her gaze moving to her own wrist as if she were about to experience the agony again.

She didn't know what to do after hearing anything and getting her memory back, and she couldn't ignore the terror she felt as she recalled your blood red eyes and the sharp fangs you showed her.

“I didn't want to harm you, I was starving, and you were the nearest source. I promise I didn't mean to do that, and I'd do anything to take that away from you, to make you forget about it, but it wouldn't make me the ideal role model. I'd like to show you the true me, the one that doesn't have something to hide. I didn't want our friendship to be like that, where one party hides in the dark for the other to not see,” you said, fearful.

“Was this why you didn't go to school?” she asked in a whisper, reaching your ears, you nodded before Yoohyeon remained silent for a moment until she had the nerve to slowly approach you.

She came up to your form, sitting in front of you and cupping your cheeks, a move that caught you off guard.

Yoohyeon brushed your tears away with the pads of her fingertips, eventually realizing that you had an explanation for every question she posed about the three of you. She noticed how your face matched hers, and the fear and sadness in your eyes caused her to ache

She suddenly pulled you closer and closed the space between you after hearing you mutter silent apologies several times. You didn't know how to explain the way your lips molded together and the sweetness of it when you first kissed them.

It made you feel energetic like you were drinking, which gave you the strength to curl your arms around her waist and unconsciously draw the girl closer.

“I don't care what you did, Y/n, you said it yourself, it was unavoidable,” the girl said a few minutes later, holding her hand on your face and taking deep breaths. You didn't want to harm me, and I hope you still don't,” she said, getting a few nods in return

“Then as long as you don't want to purposefully harm me, I have no issues with who you are, you're always the Y/n we know. It's just bringing a little bit of intrigue and curiosity now that you've told us, the past is the past,”

A tiny grin appeared on your face as you remembered your mother's words, pulling the taller girl into a hug.

As you tucked your head in the crook of her neck, you relished being inside her embrace, and the sudden warm sensation that you never thought you'd experience again returned, spreading across your skin.

Though you're sure there are a number of things that will complicate going down this road you choose, you were sure both of you will figure it out, and for now, Yoohyeon embracing you was enough to relieve your worries and push them aside.

“Together, we'll work this out.”

[writingsfromhome]

Bad Timing II

A/N: I’m just about finished the whole series and I’m excited for you to read this! <3 Sorry for the late upload, I started a new semester and had zero time to write but I worked on this all weekend. I’m curious to know if your opinions on Harry change after this part, the next part’s going to be packed but this is an in-between. Thanks as always for reading <333

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4

--------------------------------------

I lay awake in bed, staring at the blank ceiling before my phone’s constant buzzing forces me up. A couple voicemails, and a single text from Harry: GM, call me if you need anything.

I stare at it longer than I should, the audacity to think we were fine enough to text me so casually. But there was some small solace in knowing he took the extra step to let me know. Ugh; my head injury was more serious than the medic diagnosed. I throw my phone on the bed and head downstairs where I’m surprised to see him gone. It was only 8am and I needed a coffee, otherwise I would not make it through the day. When I see the pot of coffee half full, I stop in my tracks. Harry made coffee before he left. I touch the pot and it’s still warm, he couldn’t have left that long ago.

I open the dishwasher that I’d loaded last night only to find it empty. I stand straight, hand on my hips--had he unloaded the dishes too? How did I not wake up to the noise? How did he even know where everything went?!

Maybe he wasn’t such a dense detective after all, the thought makes me smile. I look around the room and notice he’d tidied up from last night, and folded everything away on the couch he slept on. I take my coffee to the couch and without thinking, hug the pillow to my face and inhale. The strong scent of his aftershave sends a sharp and painful jolt to my memories. What the hell was I doing?

I drop the pillow and settle on my kitchen table, responding to some emails while I make a game plan for the day, shaking off the claustrophobic feeling I got thinking about going back to work. I finish the last of the coffee and start moving, shower, dress appropriately, pack my laptop...I just had to keep busy so I wouldn’t have time to think about it.

***

“We’re here for you, whatever you need,” the regional manager lets me know during the meeting. I’d learned post-trauma policies the bank had. I was sorry to know them, I really just wanted to put the whole thing behind me. I tell her that. “Unfortunately, it’s not that simple. We do require you to go to at least one counseling session, your employees have got to go to a group meet with a licensed therapist so you can all discuss this and get over the awful event.”

“I see,” I chew my lower lip. I didn’t want to talk to anyone about the way I jumped at every little thing and stared down each and every stranger on the tube on my way in today. I felt crazy. Maybe I did need a shrink. “I’ll include that in the memo I guess. Thanks again for all the support and the resources-”

“That’s my job, our job.” She motions to the man sitting beside her who hadn’t actually said much the whole time. We talk for a little while longer, and by the time they leave I’m exhausted. But I make the trek to the hospital to visit Cole like I told him I would.

***

The weekend flies by: I take the train to visit my dad up north and let him take care of me like I was a kid again. It was nice to unwind, I thought, I should visit my dad more often.

But come Monday, I’m back in my pantsuit ready to get on with my life. I try not to think about Thursday too hard but it’s difficult when first thing that morning, a therapist shows up for a group session. Most of my employees look anxious to be here, but I watch their shoulders relax as they discuss what happened. Watching everyone bond brings a lightness to the heaviness that sat in my chest: it was good.

“Ms. Y/L/N? When can we schedule a one-on-one?” The therapist stops me at the end of the session.

“I think this session helped a lot,” I put on a big smile. “I don’t think that will be necessary.”

She smiles politely, as if she expected this, “It’s a requirement for back-to-work. I have time right now if you’d like, I’m not seeing another employee until lunch.”

“Um,” I look to where everyone mingles, comforting each other and breaking off into groups. If I had to talk about it in order to work, and work is the only thing to help me get my mind off of it...I guess I had no choice. “Let’s do it now.”

But an hour later and I’ve mostly just talked her ear off about Harry showing up, how awful my luck was that he would be the lead detective on the case, how much damage he’d done to me. How he appeared on one of the worst days of my life again.

“It’s almost a sign,” I ramble. “Like...what are the odds?!”

“Do you still have feelings for him?” She asks, looking like she knew the answer.

“No,” I scoff. “I hate him. He broke my trust!” And my heart.

“Those are feelings,” she says wisely. 

“Well sure, yeah, I have negative feelings towards him. Why wouldn’t I?”

She pauses, a very pregnant pause. “It’s been almost 4 years right? Usually, those feelings start to...dissolve into a more neutral ground when you...receive closure. You take time to grieve, to sit in the wound in your heart, but then you pick yourself up and try to heal. It seems like you’ve just told yourself you were healed and got on.”

“I am healed,” I insist.

“Just like you started this sessions by letting me know you were over the trauma that happened to you a few days ago?” She asks. I avoid her gaze. “When I asked about Thursday, you said you were ‘over it’ and you just wanted to focus on work but you’re not giving yourself closure. Likewise, with Harry. You haven’t found closure even after all these years.”

I stare at her, she’d sliced right into a vulnerable part of me--I’d led her there, I realise. It was something I knew all along, I just didn’t want to point at it alone.

“You’re right...I feel like I never got closure.” I confess. “How? I just want to know h-how he could’ve left me for another woman after all those years together--as lovers and as friends? He was there when mum...he was there through hell. And then he put me through hell.”

“I’d like to believe Harry showing up on a...hellish day is a sign like you say. But maybe a sign you need closure. Talk to him, ask him what you need to know in order to close that chapter of your life.”

I exhale, the idea of it making me feel claustrophobic. She wanted me to open myself up to him again and invite him to hurt my feelings? I try to ask her more but she looks at her watch. We’d gone over.

I thank her and walk out with a weight on my back that feels bigger than the one I went in with. I thought therapy was supposed to make me feel lighter.

***

I’m hiding behind my desk as the footsteps get closer and closer to the door. I clutch the knife in my hand and-

“Y/N!”

I jump up out of sleep, and open my eyes to my office. I stare at the table in front of me where the papers I used as a pillow are rumpled.

“Y/N? You have a call on-”

“Adam,” I look at my assistant. He’d been really quiet today and I was worried about him but there was so much to catch up on I hadn’t had the chance to talk to him. “Sorry I...haven’t been sleeping well.”

“I’m sorry Y/N...the detective’s on the line he insisted he talk-”

I roll my eyes and answer the phone, motioning for Adam I’d be okay. He hesitates at the door before closing it tightly behind him.

“Y/N?” Harry’s breathless voice answers irritably on the other line.

“Harry? Why are you calling me at work?” I ask, still sleepy from the nap. Is this about the case?”

“No it’s about your things at the station, it was processed--we couldn’t find anything useful so we’re returning this batch. And I think some of it belongs to your staff? Did you want to pick it up or should I drop it off to yo-”

“I’ll pick it up,” I wanted to make it clear that Harry in my space wasn’t going to be a normal thing. “I’ll head out in a bit, can I just collect it at reception?”

“They’ll buzz you through to me, I’ve gotta go-”

“Just leave it with reception...” I say to dead air. He’d already hung up. Damn.

***

“I’m here for some things, it was taken for evidence?” I say to the woman at reception.

“You’ll have to be more specific love,” she raises an eyebrow. “A lot happens here.”

“The bank rob-”

“Ah, Harry’s case. I’ll buzz you through-”

“No I thought maybe I could collect it here uh-” I look for a nameplate. “Serena, listen, I’m in a rush so is there any way for you to get it-”

The phone ringing cuts me off. She holds up her finger and I stand tapping my foot. She rolls her eyes at whoever was on the other line, motions that they were chatty and points to the glass doors. I sigh, I guess I was seeing Harry. I think about my therapist and cringe, I couldn’t.

When I walk in, I scan the room for Harry but I don’t spot him anywhere. I walk awkwardly until someone asks if they could help but they point to his desk and tell me I could wait there.

“I’m actually here to pick up some evidence, couldn’t you just give it to me?”

“He’s the lead officer, he’s got to sign off--”

“Fine,” I hated the bloody bureaucracy around here. I go to where he points and sit in Harry’s chair, ignoring the looks from people around me. I toy with the pen and doodle on an empty paper. Y/N was here I write and smile, it was juvenile.

“Y/N! Sorry! Nobody told me you were here.” Harry shows up a few minutes later. He opens the bottom drawer and takes out a nondescript cardboard box. If I knew if was down there I would’ve left a long time ago. “Just need you to sign this.”

“Okay,” I sign where he points and reach for the box. “I’ll grab that, thank you.”

“Can I walk you out?” He fiddles with his phone.

“Will you take no for an answer?”

“Nope,” he’s all teeth when he smiles. I sigh and walk in front of him. It’s weirdly silent but I notice he was typing on his phone when I look over.

“Well...g’night then.” I say at the door but he pushes it open and walks out with me.

He finally puts his phone away and asks. “Are you alright? Have you gone back to work?”

“Yeah,” I chew at my bottom lip, nervous. “We’re really sticking together, trying to get through it.”

“That’s good. That’s how it should be.” He waits a beat. “We’ve been trying to catch the robbers, they hit up another bank so it’s hell inside. That’s why I was so busy.”

“Another?” My heart plummets, and my palms feel slick.

“Yeah but we’re working as fast as we can. So...uh, did you need anything from me before you go?”

“I...” I think about the therapist’s words and chew my lower lip. I try to work up the courage. Fuck it, I realise. I had nothing to lose. “I do...actually.”

“Oh,” he looks surprised. “Good, what’s that?”

“I want to talk, about us. I...I need like, closure Harry. I think I deserve an explanation about...” I trail off as I notice him staring at me blankly. “What?”

His blank expression settles into confusion. “What’s more to explain Y/N. I’ve told you everything, I-I dunno. I thought one day we could get together like old friends, but it’s obvious you’re still upset with everything and I don’t know what more I can say? I said everything in that letter but if-”

“The letter?” I ask sharply, cutting off his chatter.

“Yeah, the one I wrote you after we...after you moved out?” When I don’t react he continues: “I dropped it off at your sister’s the week after you cleaned out your things? You didn’t...read it?” He looks hurt, if that was possible all these years later.

“I...did. Obviously I just...had some questions.” My heart races; what letter? He wrote me a letter?

“So what do you want to ask?” He looks at me curiously, concern etched in his brows. “I would like to talk actually-”

“Now’s not a good time,” I cut him off again. I had to know about this letter first. I can’t believe I walked into this blind. “I’ve actually had a long day, this is--we can do this another time, okay? Thanks for...walking me out.”

***

The first thing I do when I get home is call my sister. I can sniff her guilt a whole country away.

“Y/N, you were heartbroken! Y-you didn’t need to have it broken all over again reading his stupid letter! I was looking out for you!”

“That wasn’t your call!” I raise my voice. “I’ve been...I haven’t had closure all this time! I thought he didn’t even care enough to try to explain it to me and you knew he sent a letter this whole time?”

“Well when he showed up to the flat I wasn’t about to-”

“When did he come to the flat?” I wanted to strangle my sisters and her protective instincts.

“After you moved your things out. He wanted to see you and I knew you were a mess, I told him you never wanted to speak to him. I was looking out for you babe I-I didn’t even realise I was keeping you from closure I just...I didn’t want you hurting. Don’t be mad.”

I swallow the lump in my throat, she was right. It was Harry who hurt me, and I shouldn’t take it out on her. “I know. I know. I’m sorry for yelling I just-I wish I could read that letter.”

“I’m sorry,” she sniffs. “I should’ve given it to you once you moved out...I still have it though. I think I tucked it into my old yearbook. D’you want me to...”

“Mail it? Yes, as soon as possible please. I need to know what he wrote.”

“What if you just get hurt all over again?” she asks.

“I’ve been hurting, I don’t think his outdated explanation will hurt any more. Just please mail it the first chance you get okay?”

I was so close to it, I think. I had to get that letter. I needed closure. I deserved it. And just knowing I could get it, it’s almost like I was waking up in a dark tunnel I hadn’t realised I was in this whole time. I knew where I was, and I could see light on the horizon.

H POV:

The last time I had a full night’s sleep was on Y/N’s couch, this case was a lot bigger than we thought. It wasn’t just a robbery at one branch, these same people have hit up two other places in the last few days and they were good. The worst part was they weren’t afraid to use a gun.

“Chief,” one of the constables comes up to my desk, where I’d been staring at footage for the last hour. “There’s been um, there’s a problem-”

“Spit it out,” I say, eyes still on the screen.

“The evidence you released on Monday...blokes down in evidence can’t find the SIM from the scene...we think they accidentally left it with that batch.”

I look up from my screen and I can practically see the sweat breaking out on his brow as I stare. If that was important evidence, we’d misplaced it at the height of an investigation. My arse would be on the line too--it was my name on the authorization letter.

“Don’t panic until we’re sure it’s not with the evidence we gave out,” I get up and put my hand on his shoulder. “I’m looking into it right now, don’t let anybody know it’s happened.”

I grab my jacket from my chair and root in the pocket for my phone but Y/N’s number goes to voicemail. I curse. I look at the time, it was 6 already. I had a feeling she might kill me but I would have to drive to her place, I hoped she didn’t leave the evidence at work...after all I did tell her to return it to her employees...I have the brief thought of asking her in the morning but I remember my arse on the line and walk quicker.

“Woah, someone’s in a hurry,” Detective Cole comments as I rush past her. “Not even a hello.”

“Sorry,” I flash her a smile. “Urgent!”

“Need any help?”

I pause long enough to turn around and answer. “Normally I would say yes but I’ve got to do this.”

“Don’t let me keep ya,” she smiles, I notice Serena eyeing the both of us suspiciously as she packs up for the day. She was always trying to convince me to ask her on a date, but I was done with dating coworkers after I made the mistake of marrying one and breaking up quickly thereafter in the past. I’d changed careers quickly after that.

Y/N’s POV:

“Oh my god,” I stop in the middle of my bedroom as my sister reveals her big news over Facetime, an ultrasound held up to the camera. “Oh my god!”

“I know!” She squeals.

“I-I-you’re pregnant!” I was shocked, I didn’t even know my sister was trying for a third kid. “You better give me a bloody niece this time!”

My sister laughs, one hand on her belly. I should’ve known, I realise, she’d been cryptic the last few times we talked, dropping clue, but I’d been so wrapped up in other things I didn’t pick up on them. “It wasn’t even planned but Y/N, it feels right. The boys are stoked--they want a sister too.”

“I am so happy for you and Stu,” I let out a whoop. “I wish I could hug you! I’m going to book some time next month and come see you--this is big! Did you tell dad?”

“Not yet, don’t say anything--oh,” a cry bursts out from somewhere on her end. She rolls her eyes and tells me she would call me back. But I get a text to say there was an accident with a toy truck and a jug of OJ, she would call me back later in the evening when everything was settled.

I throw my phone down on my bed and sit on the edge in my robe, I’d just come out of the shower to my sister’s call. I was over the moon for her, but it was times like these I felt like an awful person. Because as I think about her happy news, I put my hand to my own belly and imagine what it would’ve been like to be the one calling family with good news. The familiar ache in my chest comes back, once upon a time I did have good news for a short period of time.

It was a few months before Harry and I split, I’d skipped a period and went immediately to the pharmacy. I’d decided to wait for a week before I would tell Harry because he was stressed from work. He was always stressed at that job, but I wanted it to be perfect. I’d spent the whole week stopping by nursery stores, browsing baby books, even buying a few onesies and the cutest booties I couldn’t put down. I picture the baby--mine and Harry’s, wearing them.

But the day I’d planned to tell him, I’d woken up and knew instantly something was wrong. I never told him, I fought with him that day instead...I couldn’t even remember over what. I held the awful burden on my own, packed the future I couldn’t have into a little box and shoved it under the bed. A few months later, Harry and I were over. That future was as fragile as the paper-thin wings of a butterfly, one that would never take flight.

I do what I did on my darkest days, I root underneath my bed and pull out the box.

I still had it; it was morbid, holding on to a future that was deader than dead. But I hold it in my lap, and run my hands over each piece of clothing. I imagine just for a moment what I could have had, they would’ve been 3 and I would’ve been a mum. My chest tightens, and I squeeze the items closer.

H’s POV:

By the time I get to Y/N’s, I’d stress-sang so many 90s hits that most of my nervous energy had streamed out the car window. I gather myself, clear my hoarse throat, and knock; ready to be beheaded. When there’s no answer, my nerves return. I knock louder, and try to peer through the frosty window.

“Harry?” Y/N opens the door in a flourish, looking fresh from a shower. I try to block the visuals that spring to mind, my mind blanking as I try to remember what I had to say. “Hello? Harry? Why are you here?”

“Uhm,” I shake my head. “Urgent business--the evidence I gave you on Monday, please tell me you still have it?”

Her eyebrows furrow, “You’re knocking on my door at nearly 7 for evidence you returned to me?”

“It’s urgent,” I look around out of habit. “Y/N, we may have accidentally given you something with the evidence we were meant to keep--please I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t important. I’m not messing with you, this is my head on the chopping block--I need to know if you have it.”

“For fuck’s sake Harry,” she opens the door wider. “Just...come in.”

“You have it?” I step in eagerly and close the door behind me, basking in the warmth inside. It was a chilly spring evening.

“I haven’t touched it since I brought it home, I threw it somewhere in my room.”

“Didn’t it...have your employees’ personal items in it?” I ask cautiously.

“It’s not like they’re eager to have reminders of that day!” she snaps and I back down. She turns in a flourish of her robes and walks upstairs. She doesn’t say anything so I follow her up, drinking in every detail I can about her new life as we pass through.

She’s headed into her bedroom when her phone buzzes. I recognize her sister from the contact photo that takes up the screen. She glances at me, and back at the phone, making a decision.

“It’s beside the dresser, don’t make a sound or my sister will come here in record time to rip your head off.”

“I take it she doesn’t like me,” I try to joke.

“She’s not the only Y/L/N sister that doesn’t like you,” she puts a finger to her mouth and takes the call into the other room.

Maybe I should stop cracking jokes with Y/N, I think. It was clear she still hadn’t forgiven me. I was surprised she still held on as vehemently all these years later.

I head into her bedroom, a tidy and plain room. Compared to what I’d seen of her main floor, her bedroom looked like it belonged in a hotel. I spot the box almost immediately resting between a laundry hamper and her dresser. I pick it up but on the way back, the box on her bed catches my attention. The lid is half on, and I know I shouldn’t but something almost possesses my hand to nudge the lid aside. I stare and what’s inside the box sends me reeling; like I was seasick, but with both feet firmly on the ground. The feeling punches me directly into a past I’d abandoned. A future I abandoned too.

When Y/N finds me a few minutes later, I’m holding the shoes from the box in my hands. She stops beside me. I look to her and her face is frozen in fear, before it shuts down into anger--no, fury.

“What the fuck are you doing going through that?” she snatches the shoes out of my hand and picks the box up.

“Y/N,” I say gently. “What...what is all this?”

“Did you find your stupid box? Just--” her eyes search the room frantically and settles on the evidence box on the bed. She picks it up and shoves it into my chest. “Take it and go Harry, I don’t want t-to talk. To you. Please just--” her voice breaks.

“Okay I’ll go I just...” my heart feels heavier than lead and I want to say the perfect thing to her but nothing comes out. When she shoves me I scuttle out. I hear the sob that escapes her as soon as I exit into the hallway, I almost turn to go back in and offer comfort. But I couldn’t comfort her, not since the day I gave up on her. I walk to my car, not even relieved to have the evidence. I don’t know how long I sit in the car and think about the contents of that box: folded in neat piles were baby onesies, bibs, and a pair of tiny shoes. Remnants from a broken past, a broken promise.

I wasn’t an idiot, and I wasn’t heartless despite what Y/N thought. I know what my selfish actions did to her, I know how I’d fucked her up without meaning to. But it’s only now that the weight of it settles entirely on my shoulders. How many years has it been, and that small box of new onesies stayed under her bed. Her room might’ve looked sterile and fresh but its corners held heavier burdens than I thought were possible. A new feeling of shame blooms from within me, and it stays like a bad aftertaste.

***Y/N POV:

I was going to read that letter, find my closure, and burn everything from my past ceremonially in a bonfire, I think as I watch the trees in my backyard rustle with the morning wind. It had been a few days but I couldn’t even focus on him finding that box, the humiliation of watching him look up at me with confusion and pity...it was enough he’d broken my heart, but now he felt sorry for me too. I focus back on the greenery while my fingers toy with the letter that’d come in the mail, a few years late.

The envelope looked worse for wear but it was still as sealed as the day Harry had written it. I hesitate, trace my fingers over my name on the front. A memory comes rushing to me, Harry in my dorm writing silly things on my post-its and sticking it in places I wouldn’t find until he’d left. Like under my covers, or inside my closet door. They would be silly like

Y/N smells like farts

or cheesy like

have a terrific day

. I usually tossed them, other I’d tucked between classroom textbooks. I wonder what happened to them.

Finally, I work up the courage to slide my finger under the seal and break it open. Two pages fall out, his distinct writing halfway between cursive and chicken scratch covers both pages. I read:

Y/N

You’re probably wondering why you’re reading this--I don’t think I deserve your consideration for even a moment let alone for enough time it will take for you to read this. Yet I want so badly for you to read this, to just know I didn’t mean for this to happen to us. And I know you think I’m the one who did it to us, but I need to explain.

You always told me I was good with my words, that maybe I was an artist in another life--a poet you liked to say. But every time I try to find the right words to say to you, English may as well not be my first language. I should have tried harder, should have found the right words for months but I kept putting it off until it was too late.

You are and will always be my best friend first, Y/N, I know I’ve broken your trust but I care about you deeply. I just wasn’t happy. And that had to do with the road we were going down together, not you. I’m deeply sorry for the words I said that day, for how I’ve made you feel these last few months. I guess, ultimately, I was being selfish. And I don’t have an excuse for that. I fucked this up but I wasn’t happy and I was taking it out on you, and on us. I used the things we couldn’t have as an excuse, but I’m not happy where I am in my life. And that’s something I need to find; I need to figure out what I really want.

I can only hope we’ll circle back to each other one day, in the future, when we’re in better places. But I don’t think we were right like this, maybe it’s bad timing, or maybe there’s a blanket over us much too heavy for us to find comfort under. I’m sorry for leaving us like this and for breaking your trust but I need to do this.

Know you’re perfect as you are, right now, there’s absolutely nothing about you I would ever change. I, on the other hand, have a lot of changing to do.

I wish you nothing but the best, you deserve the whole bloody world Y/N, but I don’t think I can give that to you. I hope one day, you can find it in your heart to forgive me. For now, know I love you and I’m truly sorry.

Harry, xx

My finger brushes over the last line, I take myself back to the Y/N and Harry four years ago--and it’s not so hard to do. I lived there more often than I’d like to admit. But I picture us, I picture Harry sitting down to write this. How might I have taken this if I read it all those years ago? I picture myself dissolving into tears--maybe my sister was right in not showing me.

I also imagine I would have known why, and maybe I wouldn’t be where I was right now if I’d had that closure.

But even all these years later, the tears stream down my face as if it were just yesterday Harry handed the letter over to my protective sister. There was so much hurt and heaviness, looking at it from the perspective I had now...I see a glimmer of truth in Harry’s letter. We’d worked wonderfully as best friends, and our intimacy was comforting. But we were also two people being pulled in two directions while clinging onto what we thought would keep us happy. It didn’t mean I forgave him for what he did, how he did it. But I finally understood why.

All this time, I asked why--I wondered if there was something I could’ve done to have fixed it before he left. I see now, he’d wanted an out the whole time. Nothing would have fixed us except time apart. I still felt like shit, but this epiphany made me feel closer to the closure I needed. The light on the horizon grows a little brighter. We’d just had bad timing.

***

I feel bright and chipper Monday morning; a sunny morning and a weekend of closure could do that to a woman. I bring along with me a box of treats; it had been a week since the horrible robbery. We’d put some precautions in since, had the therapist stay a few more days, a few of the employees decided to transfer and as sad as I was to see them go I knew it was the right thing for them to do to feel better. As for myself, I forgot about it most of the time. But it would creep in every so often and freeze me up.

I spoke to the company’s therapist once more after Monday, she’d asked about Harry and I had told her about the letter. She was intrigued but quickly changed the topic to how I was feeling after the events of last Thursday.

“Y/N?” Adam walks into the staff room as I finish the note to accompany the treats. “What’s all this?”

“Treats to cheer everyone up! Not that sweet fried dough is going to erase everyone’s PTSD...” I try to make a joke but Adam’s face is tense like it’d been since that day. “Adam I’m teasing...have you um, have you talked to someone one-on-one?”

“Me? Why?” He jumps. “I’m fine, I’m alright it’s mostly out of my head anyway.”

“Hm,” I look him up and down. “I don’t believe you but I’ll let it drop...for now.”

He fidgets with his hands, “Anyway I came in here to let you know the detective on the case called first thing about returning some evidence-”

“I can’t pick that up.” I say finitely. “Do you have room today? Maybe take an extended lunch and pick that up?”

“From the station?” he stutters.

“Is that where he said it was?”

“Uh yeah, yes. He wanted you to pick it up.”

“Well DCI Styles won’t get what he wants for once, you’ll pick it up at lunch okay? Just keep me posted.”

I go back to my office with a coffee and get a crack on with my work. I check for any updates on the client from last Thursday but I continue to receive the automated email that their office was closed for the week. It was weird, but I just make a note to follow up later on.

After lunch, Adam appears shaken, with the evidence. I instruct him to leave it in the staff room and send out an email, making sure to remind them that they didn’t have to go through it if they didn’t want to. I would keep it there until it was cleared out, even if that took the month. I think about my scarf in there, the one used to tie my hands. I wanted to burn it, never see it again. I send Adam a quick email to remove it from the box and dispose of it.

H’s POV:

“This just doesn’t make any sense,” I comb my fingers through my hair, as if it might trick my brain into seeing the pattern here. “This same group’s hit four places total, and yet Y/N...the HSBC was the first. There’s got to be a connection there, it’s here but I just can’t see it.”

“Harry,” Detective Cole puts her hand on my shoulder briefly before moving it away. “Maybe you need a break, I don’t think I’ve seen you go home the last few days and your shirt’s a bit...ripe. Maybe take the rest of the day off?”

I sniff myself, she was right. She shrugs with a I had to say it look.

She was right too that I hadn’t gone home. I did almost nothing but focus on this case, not only because it was growing bigger by the day and I had pressure from upstairs. But it was a welcome distraction to the new guilt that seemed to jam every other area of my life.

It was almost like I was reliving a timeline, going back three or so years ago. It felt like Y/N and I were freshly broken up, and I was trying to pick myself back up from it. Except that’s not the way it went all those years ago--I’d moved on, quickly then. But now, time was catching up. Or maybe it was karma.

“Earth to Harry?” Cole waves her hand in front of my face. “You really should go home.”

“Yep,” I scratch my stubble. I should shave too. “I’ll just drop by evidence before I go.”

She looks like she was going to say something but she gets up from the chair beside my desk, and walks back to her own. I sigh, sifting through the files on my desk to take home with me. My notepad underneath shifts and I spot Y/N’s familiar writing: Y/N was here. I run my finger over it and smile, remembering how she had written that on the baseboard of every flat or dorm room we’d left. And just like that, the guilt and shame take the memory’s place. How the fuck was I supposed get past this and focus, I think.

I shove my files into a bag and head out. Evidence tells me there wasn’t a lot on the sim card but they were still trying. I ask for an email if anything comes to light, and go home where I fall asleep before my head hits the pillow.

i meant to take a short nap, but I wake at 4am and my mind’s buzzing with so many thoughts that I have nothing else to do but get up, eat a mashup of breakfast and last night’s dinner. With nothing more to do, and 6am creeping up, I decide to get in my car and drive while the roads were somewhat clear.

Driving helped me think sometimes, on my worst case after my promotion, I’d gotten on the road one night and driven all the way to Leicaster. After a night’s rest in a hotel and the drive back home, I’d cracked the case. But this time, with my thoughts racing, I end up driving to Y/N neighbourhood on autopilot. Maybe because she was on my mind, the guilt a constant companion since that day.

I park on the other side of her street, and watch her front door from the rearview. I don’t know why I was there, it felt ridiculous and creepy. Yet, I couldn’t leave. Maybe I could offer her a ride to work, I think. But I know she would decline because she didn’t even come in herself to collect her evidence. She’d sent her awkward assistant instead.

Her door suddenly opens, and a strange man walks out. She leans on the doorframe and laughs at something he says. He leaves a kiss on her cheek and walks away. She shouts something after him and he turns, saying something back that gets her laughing. My heart races, seeing her face in the distance wrinkle with laughter. I remember all the times I could get her to do that, effortlessly. The guilt returns tenfold.

He adjusts his coat, turning back around and she watches him fondly for a few seconds longer before closing her door. I’m suddenly irritated, immediately suspicious of this bloke. I watch, unblinking, until he turns the corner out of sight. Who was he? Her boyfriend?

I look at the time on the dashboard, 7:08am. I sit, indecisive for another half an hour. My thoughts churn: the robberies, the motives, Y/N, the worn out box with baby clothes, her male guest who’d spent the night, the look on her face when she’d woken up after her concussion and saw me: disbelief, anger, and sadness.

I get out of the stuffy car and walk across the street where I hesitate outside her door. I knew I was crossing a line, pushing a boundary she put up by not picking up the evidence herself. She’d made it clear what she wanted, but I never denied that I was a selfish bastard. I raise my hand, and knock.