#but she's just cancelled bc she feels too shit and im just. TRYING not to be angry about it

[satoruhour]

the racer toji smut won’t leave me alone so here is my additional brainrot bc my sister in christ we must suffer together <3

what about fem!reader who’s bf is a total ass bc he dragged her to the races but ignores her for the whole night bc he’s too busy showing off to the other guys and makes fun of her for not knowing shit about cars. she went to support him but he’s being so shitty and she goes to sulk alone near some quiet part.

a little boy comes to join her and he introduces himself as megumi, he hates crowds and loud noises so he sits with reader for a while, until his daddy comes along and his daddy is hot. toji introduces himself, asking what a pretty girl is doing alone in these parts and offers to show her his car but out from nowhere comes slimy bf who just embarrases himself trying to kiss toji’s ass and reader is like i need to break up with him

but ofc toji puts him in his place and tells him his gf is way out his league, and a real man would never leave his girl alone the entire night. it shuts him up fr and toji, megumi and reader leave to go check out some cars bc it’s nice to actually have someone tell you all about the cars instead of being made fun of for not knowing

the rest is obvs history bc megumi loves hanging out with reader and toji can’t keep his eyes off her. and vice versa hehe

a/n: jelly ur mind >>>>> also how did i write a whole FIC about this omfg im sick. i claim i dont like toji then write like this 💀💀 + can u tell how much i love making fun of incompetent men by the way i talk about reader’s shitty boyfriend cause youd be right. i hate men. ✶ / 2.2k

the stuffy parking lot had been a routine place for you at this point, taking the familiar route past shibuya 109 and into miyamasu-zaka avenue. you’re not entirely pumped to be in the car beside your boyfriend right now, who’s talking loudly and obnoxiously into his phone, but that isn’t what is irking you right now. you’re more worried when you reach there, sure to come face to face with his equally obnoxious friends who just can’t shut up about their cars.

it would be fine if they were being cocky and could back up their modifications and NOS with proper results from racing, but they were all losers, both figuratively and literally. you sigh for the umpteenth time when daisuke asks if you cancelled the dinner with your friends because he was going to celebrate his ‘sure’ win and you stifle the urge to laugh. sometimes you wonder why you’re still here.

“we’re here babe, c’mon, get out. i’ll go park the car and come back to get you,” as daisuke tells you this, he’s patting your thigh like you’re a dog, smiling his stupid smile and your brows knit together.

“can’t you just drive to wherever you’re parking?”

“ahh… no can do, baby — my parking’s somehow better when you’re not stressin’ me out in the passenger seat.” what were you doing dating a man who couldn’t even park? you groan into your hands, picking up your bag and exiting the vehicle, making sure to slam the door extra hard even if you’ll be getting a lecture later about harming his ‘baby’.

he’s perfectly fine watching your tantrum and doesn’t say anything except for continuing to smile, driving off without a care as he looks for a parking spot. thankfully you could save your face a little, since you were still early to the meet, a minimal amount of people lingering around the abandoned parking lot in their miniskirts and tights and tramp stamps — a look you definitely would’ve loved to try out if not for your boyfriend telling you you can’t show off your legs.

it’s like he has some personal vendetta against you, but really you think it’s just because he saved you from an unfavourable situation before and while at the time you expressed mutual feelings for him, he just might be holding you hostage with that favour he did for you, unconsciously feeling terrible if you were to leave him.

a few minutes pass, and then ten, and you’re waiting for a full fifteen minutes against a wall, all the while the classic crowd of tokyo is trickling into the car park, cars driving in slowly and you’re dreading every time someone enters, sure that you’re being judged for being daisuke’s significant other. and when the waiting time finally hits twenty, you’re taking matters into your own hands and turning the corner where he drove.

just to see him conversing with his loser friends who were already somehow there, showing off their own cars which they spent money on for nothing and laughing up a storm. you lug your body over, because while you were still somehow okay with daisuke, you couldn’t stand his friends.

“babe! ah, my bad, should’ve texted you that the boys were already here and that i was with ’em,” his affection was limited to just a hand on your waist, not wanting to look like a softie in front of them, “we were just talking about our updated NOS, or ‘nitrous oxide system’ for my cute baby who couldn’t remember it the first time.”

all you can do is burn in embarrassment as they laughed, ridiculing you for the mistake you made ages ago about the terminology of street racing that sometimes you couldn’t exactly grasp. you did your best each time, sometimes googling things about racing that you wouldn’t know otherwise, but because it was still pretty illegal in japan, it was difficult to find the specific terms they used. but with how much your boyfriend teaches you (as condescending as it was), you probably could’ve written an essay.

and it wasn’t a one-time thing either, from smacking your hand off the stick shift to pestering you about closing the car door more gently, you’re soon to reach your limit.

“yeah, i know what a NOS is, bitch.” you mumble under your breath, turning away from him as he continued joking with his boys before one of them shouted out someone else’s name, hiroshi, you heard and they all pile over each other like excited dogs, seeing his new and improved Mitsubishi Eclipse, a bright, striking green and your boyfriend follows them easily.

throughout the different races of the evening and the excitement, you’re left chasing after your boyfriend who can’t help but sidle up to different racers and their cars, and the dreaded situation you hoped wouldn’t arise, did. daisuke loved asking you questions with confusing numbers and letters, and then laughed in your face when you picked the wrong option.

so when he asked you whether a L72 or a 327 small-block was better for his sorry excuse of a Camaro from 1981, you answered that you knew they had used 327s for Yenko Camaros, but without the knowledge they had discontinued it since it wasn’t optimal performance for the car. “yeah, no, darlin’, they already stopped it and switched to big-blocks after ’69… i thought i taught you this!”

with lips pressed tightly together, you find that you hardly want to be here any longer, body turning hot with shame and tears prickling at your eyes. you don’t chase after daisuke when he walks off and nudges hiroshi about your limited knowledge about cars, hands clenching and unclenching into fists before you’re tugged gently on your jacket sleeve.

in front of you is a young boy, playing with his fingers shyly with a head full of messy black hair and strong features that scrunch up into an anxious expression and you’re squatting and wondering what business a young boy like him had in scenes like this before he’s explaining how he hates the loud music and noises of metal against metal and the sound of tires.

you frown, understanding him immediately as you ask if you can hold his hand to which he nods, “what’s your name, sweetheart?”

“fushiguro… megumi,” he mumbles, flinching when there’s an erupt of cheers from the concluding race.

“oh, honey, let’s go,” you squeeze his hand in solidarity, “let’s sit far away from the action, okay? you like music?”

megumi sniffles a little and nods again, calming down the further he is from all the cars, sitting down on the curb in an area where there’s fewer racers, it being a deadend for the route. soon, you’re fishing out your earphones to insert into his ears, playing a few favourites of yours at a softer volume to drown out the noise of the cars. you’re content to find someone as clueless as you in this whole thing, even if the other was a child, and you almost want to chastise his parents for leaving him so vulnerable in a place like this when said parent is looking left and right, jogging while looking for his son.

“that’s my dad…” megumi mumbles with hope in his voice as the man starts to call out for him, expression morphed into worry from the moment he looked down from his car to find megumi gone. the boy’s hands you back your earphones with a slight smile and a ‘thank you’ before running off, and you’re lunging forward just to make sure he’s safe, running a little behind him while he navigates his father’s voice. it seems like he doesn’t have much care for the loud noises when his dad is finally in view because he speeds immediately into his arms before a tall man comes into view, and you’re blessed with seeing this hot-ass dad in a baggy long-sleeved top.

“hey… thank you for lookin’ out for the kid. i’m fushiguro toji,” toji nods towards you in acknowledgement, looking past your face after appreciating it before glancing down to your figure. “what’s a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this?”

megumi who was propped up against his shoulder opts to cling to his father’s neck, hiding from the rest of the world while you walk slowly alongside the man, fingers thumbing the strap of your bag to keep your grounded. you were quick to explain that you were here because of your boyfriend, and you swear a glint of disappointment flashed in his eyes, but you don’t give it much thought because soon the man himself is running up to you with a renewed sense of confidence.

it was probably because toji was here; and sure, you knew about fushiguro toji and how much your boyfriend loved him, but you didn’t know how popular he could get, drawing countless pairs of eyes to your interaction. 

“hi! hi, fushiguro toji right?” and you’re already ready for the clownery to start when he opens his mouth, “i’m wakashita daisuke, big fan! any chance you’ll get back into racing?” daisuke is spouting so much shit you can’t even bear to look up but there’s one sentence that has got toji riled up, using just one hand to threaten your boyfriend who looks scared out of his mind. “you’d look so good with a Ford Mustang too, why don’t you sell off that old Corvette you’ve got—”

and soon toji is clutching onto the collar of his shirt, easily pulling him off the ground as the people surrounding you laugh and whoop. seems like you weren’t the only one who hated him.

“that Corvette means something to me, not like that piece of junk you call your Camaro. and at least i treat my car better than how you treat your girlfriend,” he spits the word like it’s venom, “who you can’t even respect as a person.”

daisuke is plopped onto the floor, but toji easily backs him up with a finger to his chest, “laughing like an idiot when she doesn’t know about engines and then saying you taught her — that would reflect your efforts as a teacher, wouldn’t it?” the man smirks when your boyfriend stutters out his answer, the crowd oooh-ing like it’s a free show.

“and then you leave her stranded for the whole night to hang with your boys, in a place where she’s uncomfortable and vulnerable. but you couldn’t give a shit, can’t you? you’re too busy sucking your friends’ cocks to notice.” there’s howls of laughter now (you can’t help but let out a giggle too) with how ruthless toji is being, all the while having a kid on his shoulder, but you imagine megumi is used to these types of altercations by now.

toji leans down to spit in his face, “you disrespect a woman in my eyes, you’re a joke to me.”

he just rolls your eyes, heading off from your stupid boyfriend and toji fully expects you to follow, beckoning you to go with him when you stay rooted. “c’mon, don’t mind him. he didn’t deserve you.” toji mutters, pressing a kiss to megumi’s temple as he leads you away from the scene silently, and you leap at the opportunity to thank him immediately.

“to be fair… i did all the research for my boyfriend,” toji interrupts with ex-, and you laugh, “yeah, ex-. but i’m not entirely opposed to learning about cars. they seem kinda cool.”

“is this your way of telling me you want me to teach you?” what’s a little flirting with a guy, anyway? even the other said it himself, daisuke didn’t deserve you. you nod with a sheepish smile, petting megumi’s head when he rouses from his dad’s shoulder, heart warming at how the young boy shoots you a gleaming smile.

toji shrugs with a little chuckle, “sure.” he’s keen on showing you his Chevrolet Corvette at the other end of the parking lot first, telling you about the specifications and the modifications he made for it to be suitable for drifting. he explains how his Corvette had to be converted to a rear-wheel-drive car, or a RWD to support the heavy stress on the back wheels to make a successful drift turn.

toji tells you the differences between a clutch kick and a shift lock and how to sustain a drift on a sharp turn, excited at finally finding someone who didn’t have a clue about racing. he even offers to show you, but you’re a little too intimidated by being in the passenger seat with him, especially when it’s going at high speeds.

“maybe another day,” you offer and toji picks up on your insinuation, trying to stifle at grin that maybe this attraction wasn’t one-sided. he liked the way you talked to megumi, he liked the way you intently listened about his love for cars, and he couldn’t wait to get you in his car with a hand to your thigh.

“i’ll hold you to your offer, darlin’.” the name sounded so much better coming from his mouth, an attractive smile lining his face before he offered his free arm for you to hang on, gasping silently when you felt how toned his arm was. oh, the late night thoughts you already knew you were gonna have…

“i’ll tell you about the other cars here, let’s go.”

thirsts and drabble requests are open!

[thatdeadaquarius]

I HAVE BENN HIT WITH INSPO FOR ASK MY BELOVED !2937!4;!6!5?3

So ya know how paimon has been kinda sus in sumeru right? Down right bashing their culture 🤨

I NEED blunt readers reaction of that

Like,, we love her and all but sometimes she just need to be put back in her place ',:/

In the case that she is not familiar with the our "ancient"/blunt language, she would be just DUMBSTRUCK !

Anywayysss just a thought.

LOVE YAAAAAA!

OHHHH MY FUCKING GODDD IM SO GLAD WE ALL INDIVIDUALLY GOT UP. AND SAID FUCK YOU PAIMON. EVEN THE PAIMON ENJOYERS SHOULD NOT BE SIDING W/ HER ON THIS ONE-

LIKEEE OKAY HOYO DEVS WE KNEW U GUYS WERE PIECES OF SHIT BUT RLLY?? CONVERTING PAIMON TO UR BS???

My genuine reaction when getting into Sumeru at first:

Like im so happy u sent this bc this gives me an excuse to write all my rants and comebacks for every Offensive Racist Paimon Line!

also omg, i couldnt find ANY of her rough lines abt pronoucing Sumeru names or something, like no google searches showed ANYTHING- wtf- paimon trying not to get cancelled out here in??

☆

Sun: Gender Neutral Reader (they/them only)

Planet: Language Shenanigans

Orbit: Headcanons-ish, tiny scenario

Stars: Paimon, slight mentions of traveler (aether or lumine), Tighnari, Alhaitham, Kaveh, Cyno

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: cussing, slight racism/culturally insults, Paimon-bashing & Trigger Warnings: slight racism/cultural insults

☆

Bascially if you don’t know, Paimon’s had a lot of weirdly slightly out of character/insulting lines about the names of Sumeru characters/Aranara/and has insulted Sumeru food too. 💀 And she’s never said any of that about any other country that we’ve been to before, like it’s especially weird PAIMON of all people insulting FOOD.

It’s givingggg… racism. Or at least culturally offensive.

So anyway, these are all from memory or vague impressions of what she’s said, as I can’t find the exact voicelines!

“Ararana- what?! Goodness gracious, must all these names be so great in length and difficult to pronounce!”

“Your name is probably pretty shit for them to say too, Paimon, don’t worry.”

Literally can feel the jaw drops of the Aranara that was trying to introduce themselves, and Paimon herself as she sputters,

the blonde traveler has like, completely turned around to, y’know, cough (laugh their ass off)

Oh you never let that shit slide, much to the amusement (and honestly a little respect) from all of Sumeru residents

When Paimon struggles to pronounce names, you just immediately start sounding it out reallllyyy slowly, to the point of like- taking a couple of seconds for each syllable lmao

“Don’t worry Paimon, I’ll help you out since you’re brain is too little to understand words. Alllll- TTTTTTeeeeee- nnnnaaaahhhhh- rrrrrriiiiii-” (Al-Tighnari)

Tighnari was seconds away from launching a nuclear war of a comeback before you just did this again, and he just crossed his arms and smiled happily and waited on you too lmao

it drives Paimon up the wall (up in the air?) bc u refuse to be interrupted by her or stop sounding it out until she stops talking lol

(which took about 3-4 shitty comments from her, which almost ruined peoples’ first impression of you guys, before she stopped completely thank fuck)

◇

She’d also been a little shit about the food??!!? Paimon??!!! Of all people??!?!?!?!

Which is honestly insane to you, and you genuinely thought something was wrong with her for a minute when she looked a little disgusted at the Pita Pockets

You guys had been eating with a couple of allogenes, Alhaitham, Kaveh, (who took some time off to hang out) Tighnari (who was visiting for the day), and Cyno, (who’d also made some time off to hang out with you)

Tighnari just continues to eat his food, and barely twitches an ear at Paimon’s comments, he already knows what’s coming lol

Kaveh starts to get a little red in the face, and Alhaitham and Cyno don’t change expression at all, simply watching

Right as Kaveh begins to say, “Listen here-!!!”

You just interrupt quickly, snatching Paimon’s plate from in front of her and dumping it on yours,

“Paimon if you ever make another disrespectful little comment about the food or anyone’s names or any other shit about Sumeru, I will clap you so fucking hard out the sky you’ll be crawling through Sumeru City trying to keep up with us. Shut up.”

And just drop the empty plate back in front of her, and continue to eat, best not to give her too much attention actually, in case thats all she wants

The traveler was just like 😭😭

doing that thing where you LOUDLY sip the last of your drink in the silence LMAO

Alhaitham just like, turns away to laugh into his fist, Kaveh’s still in literal shock, mouth open and everything 😭 that was the fastest comeback he’s ever heard, yknow obviously, so he’s like- still processing-

Cyno just smiles a little and his eyes are nearly sparkling as he watches you lol

◇

It’s a unanimous thought that nearly every allogene who hears your speech, especially the Sumeru ones who’ve heard you sass Paimon already,

want to watch you just destroy someone verbally so they can hear more of how you’d say it/how clean a cut simple speech can be, just downright violating the opponents lmao

(and never wanting it turned on them)

☆

Sorry this was short!

but i fucking love your idea sm, ALSO JUST BC ITS A SHORT REPLY DOESNT MEAN THAT THIS WASNT A STELLAR IDEA AND U BEST BELIEVE THIS HAPPENS IN THE ONE SHOT LMAO

it was such sweet revenge on Paimon to write this, and have actual consequences rather than just 😭 having to STEWWWW in anger while she made all these comments while playing 😭😭

tbh i was worried it was giving “white savior” energy so i hope it doesn’t-

lmk if that did happen! :/

☆

and thank u guys for being so patient with ur asks and patient with me answering them!

:]

☆

Safe Travels 0rah,

💀♒

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche

[triclopsrabbit]

spider/carnage: slurpee-au

au starts out with peter as a senior undergrad (also being spider-man), cletus is older working at a butcher. he wasn't a serial killer yet until he got the carnage symbiote, which is still growing so it's not yet full-powered, just a little baby alien, he's been mostly murdering people regular serial killer style under the radar, managing to not yell out IM CLETUS KASADY while being carnage for once.

Peter and Cletus meet at a 7/11, they always go to the same one and get slurpees so they get to talking. Peter is somewhat smitten by this mysterious older guy, he's been traumatized by Gwen's death two years ago so he's hesitant about a relationship but he's trying to let it go. Peter has a fascination with crime/murder mystery stuff and is a writer as a hobby, cletus finds this totally cute. Peter asks cletus out and cletus agrees, planning on serial-killing him but figures, he might as well have some fun with him beforehand. ("I'm not gay but I'll try anything twice.")

They both totally fall for each other, they both like how the other is not high-maintience, and cletus never seems to mind when Peter is late or cancels on plans constantly. Peter's random schedule has Cletus quite intrigued, he knows his class schedule but the classes he even shows up for are seemingly completely random, and cletus wonders where he goes constantly. Peter says it's because he's chasing spider-man for photos, or whatever other excuse he has.

Red (the carnage symbiote) matures rapidly, and she LOVES peter, she's so excited to kill him in an act that will bind them all together forever- but, no need to rush it, every time Peter brushes his hand over theirs or kisses them they push their plans back a little further. Late at night when cletus is asleep and peter's still up working on schoolwork or writing, red will take over cletus's body to talk to peter about deep stuff, science, philosophy, existential stuff, while peter thinks he is talking to cletus still. Red also gets really handsy with him, noticing all the small differences in their bodies in a real tender way. Peter falls in love with the both of them without realizing it.

Of course the good times can't last forever- cletus notices peter with strange injuries lining up with the ones he JUST put on spider-man, (carnage's injuries heal much faster) not to mention how inexplicably ripped peter is. He figures out Peter is spider-man, and this makes the thrill of the hunt even greater for him.

Oh yeah and Venom is there too, venom is suspicious of cletus because he finally tracked down where his spawn went but no ones linked the murders to carnage/cletus yet, so he's just kind of hanging around, hating spider-man (eddie is still very much in his "blame spider-man for everything" stage)

Anyway, eventually the cats out of the bag, peter comes over to cletus's apartment to find him fucked up and bleeding in the bathtub after a fight with venom, with the symbiote swirling around him. Peter is shocked and horrified, at first thinking of his previous experience with symbiotes and thinks the symbiote is controlling him, but when they explain that he's not being controlled, and that they know he is spider-man, peter freaks out but cletus trys to rack up sympathy points because he's injured, he says he's broken and needs help, needs peter to help him. Then like, few days later peter gets word eddies in the hospital bc carnage went back to fuck him up after talking to peter even though he SAID he was trying to get better and all this shit and thats when peter gets righteously angry, they have a crazy breakup in-costume

After both beating the shit out of each other while screaming, carnage doesn't feel like killing peter any more.

They were together for about a year and a half before everything went to shit, and after that carnage skips town - killing has lost its fun for cletus, every time he thinks of something he said to peter, "Killing makes me feel alive," and peter responded "Don't I make you feel alive?"

Peter is super depressed, and a year passes, he doesn't go to grad school because he's so messed up. Waiting for the other shoe to drop is like torture. Cletus isn't faring much better, killing people doesn't bring him the same satisfaction and red is unhappy and misses peter as well. when he returns to new york, its to turn himself into ravencroft, though without revealing that he's carnage and that he has a symbiote. peter goes to visit him weekly, with slurpees. They talk, but cletus never tries to manipulate him or tell him that he turned himself in "for him."

Eventually cletus feels he's done enough for himself ("I got real good at mental health") and leaves Ravencroft and is prepared to leave town with Red and Peter catches him right before he leaves and they makeout after like two years of pining lol. cletus had gone to get a slurpee and peter is looking for him frantically after finding out he's missing.

whew okay, and thats pretty much the premise of the au :3 I think we retroactively changed some things later like adding in shriek but its been a long time and i've only reread so much

They get into many more shenanigans like peter almost dying and red having to bond with him to save him, peter clones, peter getting turned into man-spider and going into spider-heat which is definitely real and not made up LMAO etc

[galaxycunt]

agh ugh

It’s kinda sucky being like the “cute couple” or whatever to friends bc we been together so long I can’t vent bc I feel bad like no he’s not a bastard but he did a real mean or sketchy thing so I just hold it all in and I don’t even wanna post this bc I’m like no I talk too much about Evan but like ugh

a woman he knew from college works at a doctor office next to his job so they are like whoa hey and he only mentioned her once n then I glance at him texting her n he’s like oh it’s about out dogs n im like trying not to be upset bc why would I but I been cheated on before but not by him so ys know

But he’s just distant lately n I feel like shit bc I gained some weight n I been having eye problems and the doctor thought it was a std and so I cried snd canceled the follow up n didn’t call about the results bc im so scared this is all a lie

So I cry and he’s like maybe it’s just to cover everything and then I’m like well who’s even this chick and he blows up on me about it and you know it makes me feel so much worse

He says he was just flustered but it doesn’t inspire confidence when he says word for word the stuff ur ex told u and what ur mom says ur dad says to her every time she catches him cheating so ya know

[xylomilo]

Ninja Headcannons

Cole

Any pronouns

Demiromantic Bisexual with male lean

Afro-Latino with a little bit of French from great-grandfather

NU Goth

Collects records

Short butterfly locs

Booba 🤲🤲🤲

Will eat anything and everything if it doesn’t leave his mouth

PTSD from the fall in March of the Oni 🥰

After DotD, the others (and him) kept forgetting Cole isn’t a ghost anymore so they kept hitting him and he kept bumping into walls for a while

His mother would make cake from him when younger, thus why he loves it so much

Releases stress by training, baking cakes, or listening to music

Likes to study the meaning behind song lyrics

Jay

Demi-Boy

He/They

Bisexual

3/4 Korean 1/4 White (Libber was half white half Korean)

Portable charger that never runs out

“BRO HIS HEART STOPPED BEATING” Jay: “Let me try” ELECTROCUTES HIM

Southern accent that faded away over time

Scene kid in high school

Mythology nerd

Everyone bullies him for being part white

Rise of the Brave Tangled Dragons fan

Refuses to download Twitter bc his fans scare the shit out of him

Audhd(?) (Autistic ADHD)

Kai

Trans

He/Him

Pansexual

Half Filipino Half Argentinian

Used to sacrifice a lot of things just to see Nya happy (cough cough Kenny McCormick cough cough)

Switched names with Nya one day and got hit by the transgender-fication ray

Constantly refers to Nya as “sis” because she used to be the only thing he had

Only good at forging magical weapons (the opposite of Karlof lmao)

Allergic to seafood but didn’t know until he was talking to the others like “yk it’s weird how fish makes my lips tingle” and they went 😟😟

Used to have nightmares the day his parents disappeared

Has accidentally made so many fires out the most random things

Every sea creature hates him

Dragons adore him and Oni loathe him

Lloyd

Trans, non-binary

He/They

Achillean AroAce spectrum

Vitiligo

Japanese with a bit of Chinese from grandma

AUTISTIC ADHD HAVER 🫵🫵🫵🫵

Has never seen any pictures of his grandmother, only heard vague stories

Lots of animals like him. Like a lot. Bro is followed by anything and everything when he goes to the park.

Seasonal allergies (FUCKING LOSER (im projecting))

Collector of books he will never read, physical and digital

Old dreamsmp fan- the others still make fun of him for it to this day

Sleeps in the most uncomfortable positions and places but is somehow fine

Lloyd wishes he had stayed in contact with Brad.

Had matching bracelets with Brad, but Lloyd doesn’t remember where he put it

Lloyd sometimes stalks Brad’s social media pages to see what he’s been up to, but is too scared to actually follow him back. When they do though, they find out Brad blocked them on everything the day after.

Post season 16, Lloyd became a pet sitter for a while. Imagine their surprise when the door opened and he was face-to-face with Brad. Lloyd quit the next day.

Nya

Trans

She/Her

Bisexual

Half Filipino Half Argentinian

Really observant

Knows what Kai did for her when they were younger and she feels awful about it

Can manipulate water in people but it’s hard to do

Couldn’t remember what her parents looked or sounded like until Season 7

Used to steal a lot when she was younger to help her brother

Every sea creature likes her

Dragons are terrified of her

Wakes up in a cold sweat when her older middle-child senses start tingling (Red Green Blue Ghost by beloved 🙏🙏)

Her and Morro got intense beef like fist fighting type (middle child stuff)

“Babe why is your mom hot” “Nya istfsm”

Zane

He/They/It

Pansexual

Vitiligo

African-American

AUTISTIC 🫵🫵

Used to overheat a lot pre season 4 but his ice powers cancelled it out

“Oh this media is nice” proceeds to research it for the next twelve hours (me)

JAZZ LIKER, GET HIS ASS

Gets treated like a brand new iPhone by Acronix 😭😭

Doesn’t need to charge, being near Jay Is enough 😭😭

Kenny McCormick by how many times he has died

“Don’t worry guys, I can fix this problem” pulls out gun

Wakes up in cold sweat “MY STUPID BITCH SENSES ARE TINGLING”

Their heart is made of ice, literally (their power core is made of blue crystal and chronosteel, which is how the old EM gave Zane their powers)

PIXAL

She/They/It

Unlabeled

African

Collects everything and anything

“Aw, this is too expensive!” … “Wait I’m rich.”

Only wears turtlenecks and plaid pants/skirts

Small rivalry with Nya because everything PIXAL creates, Nya has created before

A little bit insane

Zane: Would you still love me if I was a worm?

PIXAL: You already are

“Woah, they’re laser focused!” and PIXAL is listening to celebrity drama videos

Likes watching people argue on Samurai X’s gender/pronouns (thinks its funny)

Acts like schlatt sometimes

Has a habit of speaking in a monotone voice and is genuinely surprised when people think it’s being rude

Brutally honest 😭😭 Kai will say “does this make my ass look fat?” and PIXAL will respond with “the opposite, actually.”

[khodorkovskaya]

my most autistic moment yet (church drama) embarrassing storytime

27.08.23

so okay. i sing in the church choir right. i explained a bit like on how i started here. but basically after easter i came up to the choir director and asked if i could join. and she said "yes, welcome to our choir!". and thats how it all began.

the thing is i didn't grow up religious religious. i feel super out of place at church, idk what to do or how to act. so this whole time ive just been trying to pick up on social queues and do my best to not stick out like a sore thumb. so every time everyone does the cross thing, i do the cross thing, when people bow, i bow, when everyone gets on their knees, so do i. and it all feels pretty awkward i have to say. idk what the fuck im doing or why.

another thing is, im neurodivergent as fuck. i never feel like i belong anywhere. almost every social interaction feels like some kind of test that im failing at. i always feel like the person left out in a group. like my whole life ive just got used to the feeling of being an outsider. it feels like there are these rules everyone follows that i had not been informed of. everyone knows what to do and how to act. and all i do is imitate.

so in this sense church didn't feel too different. people look at me weird, i don''t feel included and everyone's following rules im oblivious too. seems like literally any other social setting, right?

and you may be wondering, why i decided to go to church in the first place if im not religious. well, singing there makes me euphoric and it really scratches an itch idk how to exlain it. the sensory stimulation part of the whole church thing like incense and the hymns that we sing and the aesthetics of it all, like it's very satisfying to me.

but back to the people there. so everyone there is always on edge. people are always shoving and pushing each other. and im always excluded. whenever music sheets are distributed im always skipped, so i often have to look over the shoulder of someone there to see what to sing. but often people dont even want to share with me. and everyone is in their little groups. theyre always whispering to each other and never talk to me. and no one says hello to me either.

so me with my little neurodivergent brain like i didn't think much of it at all. because, like i said, i never feel included anyway. im always the odd one out, like i have chronic imposter syndrome everywhere i go. and plus, i hope i don't get cancelled for racism, but i thought that everyone was mean and cold because they're russian... 💀 like forgive me pls, but like i just thought russians were unfriendly bc like eastern european resting bitch face stereotype. and i didn't want to impose myself and smile and wave if it's not a part of people's culture, right?

so anyway. ive been going to church literally every single sunday after easter without fail. ive been literally the most consistent person there, i show up every time. a lot of people only come like maybe every two weeks. and they don't stay until the end either. or they show up late. but im always there!

so yeah today i was there as usual. and the choir director comes up to me and says "you can't sing with us". and i was like what. and she was like "if you don't come to rehearsals and never show up you can't sing with us". and i was like shit, there are rehearsals??? and she looked at me like "yeahh 🙄 are you not in the groupchat?". THERE WAS A GROUPCHAT ALL THIS TIME????????

LIKE THAT'S WHY I WAS NEVER HANDED THE MUSIC SHEETS AND THAT'S WHY NOBODY SPOKE TO ME. LIKEEE

I WAS NOT OFFICIALLY PART OF THE CHOIR THIS WHOLE TIME AND DIDN'T NOTICE IT 😭😭😭😭😭😭

like it makes sense now. they all have an official groupchat and they all know each other and they have rehearsals and they sing multiple times a week for like other church events.

so yeah.... i literally was an outsider and imposter this whole time... and my neurodivergent ass didn't realise

but okay, conclusion to the story, it gets kinda worse actually.

so the choir director added me to the groupchat. but it's on telegram. and i only use telegram with my close friends. everything else that's like normal/professional i use whatsapp. so on whatsapp i have a normal profile picture and everything. meanwhile on telegram my profile picture is this...

it says "christ has risen" in the corner.

like

when she added me to the groupchat and i realised... i wanted to kms.

like imagine this like super religious woman. going through her contacts. checking if she has the right phone number. clicking on my profile picture to make sure. and seeing. this.

fucking christ has risen akjssjkdhkhd i want to die

i think my church choir phase is officially over.

[oatbrew]

jay what did you think about ppp? i'm dying to know

as a purely vibes and dynamics watcher i wrote this pretty lengthy breakdown/interpretation shortly after my second attempt of watching this movie (the first time amc canceled my showing when i got there which was soooo dumb)

and it was basically me trying to give the writers the benefit of the doubt of what they were trying to do w kou in this movie and the State of the Akane and Kou Dynamic as a whole but the more i read it the more i think im just reaching for the sake of seeing my boy totally not get shafted into irrelevance here bc im sorry but he really felt extraneous like it just seemed like he was written there like logistically bc we gotta go from A to B and they had to fill the Action Punch Scene and Fan Favorite Showcase quota but like conceptually? holistically? thematically? spiritually? at the beating emotional burning heart of this series? for the amount of screentime you got what are you still doing here kou? what are you serving? really giving major how ya doin fellow kids energy and it HURTS 😩

long story short i think this is a culmination of the writers flailing on what to do w him after s1 and on a more generous reading, what happens when a person outlives their purpose. i wrote a season one kou-centric fic for the 10th anniversary zine (which i still need to post lol) with an epigraph by anne carson: "to live past the end of your myth is a perilous thing." that was all i could think about.

anyway other thots

this was akane's movie through and through. she has always felt to me the most complex and most complete character of this entire series and this movie proved that and then some. girl did that shit. makishima WISHES

saiga's ending? mixed. still marinating on it

i did overall enjoy the movie in the wider context of the series as it did make me appreciate season 3 more for making it more cohesive in retrospect

gino ponytail/manbun apologist 4evs. love my boy wish he got like some real meat to chew on but at least they gave him emotions and shit

akira "nooo don't you're too sexy to die"

mika tsun to her senpai. CUTE 😍 if i didn't also feel so conflicted on the general writings treatment of mika i would have enjoyed this without qualms

idk i think reading the spoilers beforehand from my mutuals already tempered my expectations so my general vibe of the whole thing was just like "yeah that tracks". i do have to watch it again for me to feel like ive properly judged it

[sexydreamgirl]

hera I'm sorry for trauma dumping but I feel rlly shitty rn and dont have anyone to rant to, u don't have to answer if u don't want. and I also hope u understand what I'm trying to say :).

I have gotten so much more insecure lately and comparing myself to others, like I see the best version in everyone else especially look wise but not myself, and Im even scared ti have a bf bc I think he is going to leave me for my friend etc. ik that I just have to work on my sc but I feel weird abt it, bc I have this very dumb mindset and jealousy issues that others are literally born beautiful with perfect bodies and I have to MANIFEST for me to have it, it just seems unfair yk?

but the thing is growing up I was considered very pretty and that I had a nice body, like even strangers sometimes would compliment me. but rn that doesn't happen anymore like literally it's the opposite no one thinks I'm pretty anymore and no one has any romantically interest in me and it makes me kind of upset. I feel really guilty but I always compare myself and get jealous of a friend of mine bc she seems to be smart and have the body that guys want and in general she always gets things easier while I feel that I have to work for it. so idk why I'm not considered pretty anymore is it like did I rlly had an glow down or did the beauty standards changed? .. anyway ik that I also can just manifest having it back but I feel that me manifesting it back it like cancels it out kind of ? like I would rather not be in a position that I have to manifest beauty yk?and it's not just with the beauty wise like I feel everything I would get complimented on it kind kind disappeared and I got worse. like I was known for having very clear skin and very white pearly teeth but now I don't and can't say that oh yeah I always had clear skin and it kind of annoys me If u understand what i mean? same goes with talents like I used to be a dancer and good one and would be very athletic but now nothing, and I would speak fluently some languages, especially the ones I speak in my house and now I'm not able to.

I rlly don't know what's wrong with me and why i have become like this, its like I have lost all my personality and have gotten depressed and ppl view me much differently that how i rlly am and used to be like an example I used to be athletic but now they think I'm lazy bc I don't participate in gym class but I find it reasonable but it still annoys me. and i would have guys that have crush on me and now nothing, and I have lost all of my friends and no one likes me and they treat me like shit and i always feel that I'm responsible for it and in just so lost and ikd what to do with my life .

so my question is, except that I would like some advice or anything would be nice , is there a chance that I have accidently manifested all this or did that happen by its own??.. I hope this wasn't too much, thank u for ur time :)

According to the law you manifest the good, the bad and the indifferent. However, there's a difference between conscious manifestation and unconscious manifestation. So even if it wasn't your intention to manifest such unfavorable matters, that doesn't discredit how you can or should feel about the situation.

That said, you're not obligated to continue being a person you don't want to be. You don't have to be trapped in this conception of self if it has you in a terrible headspace, but the change must begin with you. You need to realize that the only person standing in your way of becoming the best version of yourself is you, there is no one to change but self. You are bringing forward excuses about guilt because you have to manifest xyz okay AND? You're no better nor worse than somebody who didn't have to manifest it. There's a reality where you're the total opposite of everything you've just described, there's a reality where it's even better than anything you could've ever imagined. No reality is better than another, so why not start working with the law to your favor? You're manifesting 24/7 anyway. You know you can do something about it, so just go for it. Don't let yourself get consumed by feelings of guilt over what is essentially YOUR birthright. Just go for it and don't give up for anything or anyone, you deserve to live out the life of your dreams.

[princesssmars]

being the the allen triplet

platonic!geoff allen x fem!reader | platonic!viv allen x fem!reader

a/n: love how i had this show on my netflix list for almost two years then i started it and found out it's been canceled yasss. but I can sense that fics for it have been lacking so who better to write some. spoilers for october faction! also havent watcged the show in a few months so if some facts seem wonky im sorry 🧍🏽‍♀️

ever since you were a toddler, you always felt...different

it's not like anyone else in your grade jet-setted off to a new country or city every year

but it wasn't just that. it was almost like you saw the world differently than other kids

it was almost like the world was magical, and not just like in your favorite bed time stories and artoons

like your siblings you ecel in your chosen craft. viv is an artist, geoff is social, and you have a fondness for music.

but also your intrest in weaponry, starting when you founr one of your mothers handguns when you were 10 years old

luckily they had trained you some gun safety and common sense, so instead of nearly blowing your brains out you just admired it, eventually asking for them to start giving you lessons.

you had a pretty good relationship with your siblings

obviously sometimes youd get on each others last nerves but that comes with being a sibling

but at the end of the day you were there for each other no matter what

there were multiple instances where someone would pick on the twins and youd get in trouble for saying something nasty in retaliation 😁

as kids youd have the time of your lives goofing off and sneaking candy and snacks behind your grandmothers back when she had to babysit

and then when the stress of moving was wearing you down, geoff and viv would cheer you (and honestly themselves) up by exploring and checking out the local attractions

as you get older that "magical" feeling you got as a kid got stronger and more intense until your parents started upping your meds. odd.

eventually your parents move you again, except this time to your dads shitty little hometown upstate. great.

they give you and viv the same old lecture about being more social making more friends bla bla bla. you mock them from the back seat causing viv and geoff to laigh and nearly getting you in trouble.

fighting with who gets the better room. its not you 😐

that wake. yikes.

you mostly stayed on the sidelines, avoiding the annoying kids viv and geoff were entertaining for whatever reason.

eventually one came down for a drink and pissed you off. your vision went hazy for a second and you somehow spit of the knowledge that her fathers infidelity was leading up to her parents divorce. whoops.

so now you and your twins are the "freaks". typical.

not everything is horrible though, your grandmother is staying and is actually pretty cool

but when it comes to the first day of school? literal hell

the stereotypical jock and mean girls that bully geoff and viv reapectfully also try to come for you but you shut that shit down real quick.

which of course leads to isolation most of the day. fun. but seeing geoff spit out that tidbit of the teachers cheating wife was hilarious

you dont know how the hell he knew that but

then the scene on the bus

it was only for a second, maybe even a tenth of that but you felt something. you saw something.

and looking to your right, seeing your siblings looking back at you, you know they saw it too.

god, this place just kept getting weirder by the day.

ta da. i noticed how there was like no fanfiction for this show after i finished it and so i had to step up i guess. im most likely gonna rewatch the show and continue this bc i love the little harlow family. thanks for reading <3

[szayelapowo]

alright this is getting ridiculous my mothers anxiety is so off the shits she wont let me close my fucking door she doesnt want me to leave her room EVER she wont let me leave the house when i need smth at the store. she even keeps trying to make me cancel my therapy appointments bc she doesnt want to be alone. my dad had to go to the store to get food bc were RUNNING OUT and she tried to stop him. like im sat here next to her in her bed rn she wont let me leave I NEED HELP

her doctors wont return her calls they said they cant do phone appointments bc they cant bill insurance for that but shes too lightheaded from her blood pressure meds to get out of bed which has been the case for a long time and what made her start cutting them in half months ago which is what led to this whole fuckery in the first place. shes still having nose bleeds two weeks later too but we cant afford a third hospital bill we cant even afford the two were already gonna get :/

like i cant keep doing this i mean i get it i have debilitating anxiety and cant be alone either but it aint this bad. and yknow if it was me rn if i didnt want to be alone and was having panic attacks but she wanted to go to the store with my dad. she absolutely would NOT stay with me so :| i mean i feel bad and i dont want to even say anything but she wont take any anxiety meds bc she thinks theyll give her an allergy. shes been prescribed so many things in the past like shell fill the prescription and then just refuse to take them

i dont know what to do i cant help her i cant even take care of my fucking self. which is why i still live with her and my dad in my thirties x_x

and now i just got on the developmental disability waiver a few weeks ago and im afraid the case worker is gonna come over, decide that my parents are too disabled and incapable of caring for me, and ill get dragged out of the house shoved in a terrible group home and drugged out of my mind. ive heard of that happening and if it does, if they take szay away from me ill kms i know i will

i cant deal with this.

[afroclusterfunk]

Mom said im a piece of with from not being able to do shit bc I have COVID. It's like she's trying to pick fights. She wants me to order us soup. I'm like I had to cancel so mant things because it's almost too much effort to drink water from my night stand. Like she knows I feinted the other day. Like she's so pissed I need to rest. Like the other day I said hi and then she said you don't say hi and I just did.

Like I haven't been this sick since I was a kid god forbid I rest when I have the ultimate disease

Ugh it sucks because I start to feel better and I can sit at my desk like a champion for several hours but I've been in my bed sweaty and uncomfortable with fever dreams for the last week. But the real gag is I'm doing it to mildly irritate my mom

[vigilvntes]

heyyy, it's your girl! back at it ONCE MORE with thoughts because....it has a chokehold on me and I dont have a firm grip of stopping lol. (serisouly, I feel like I need to slow it down a bit)

so I know we talked about how riddler/edward would be teasing the life out of y/n (hero!reader) about "future children" and she's like....not anytimesoon!! BUT, but, let's just imagine for a quick second what would happen if she ended up with his kids. for one, itd would be very chaotic, no slowing down. on one hand, kinda gotta take it seriously because the father of her own children always winds up in arkham but he does manage to break out to visit because he does have a sweet spot for them. on the other, it's a little funny because as they got a bit older, people would ask "well, what do your parents do" of course they'd go on about their mom being a hero and fighting beside batman. however, as soon as Edward enters the picture, it's downhill! the kids just say "wellll....our dad tends to fight mom alot and has a thing about riddles. sometimes he ends up in arkham too but he manages to see us in secret ways." hahah, like imagine parents day where maybe kids bring in their parents and edward shows up with y/n. the teacher is just like "😐 uhhhh....that's a criminal you're with" and y/n's saying "yeah, about that!"

I just KNOW though that edward is a bit giddy when coming into the classroom or even if he's the one who has to pick up the kids because people know who he is and he's thinking "yea! I have kids with a great and gorgeous hero who's also my enemy....walk away! but also thanks for recognizing me ✌✌" in the end, it's all so so chaotic.

-❔

DILF EDDIE DILF EDDIE DILF EDDIE FUCKKK IM SO GLAD YOU SENT SOMETHING ABT THIS BC IVE BEEN THINKING ABT IT THIS IS GONNA BE SO LONG SO LIKE HOLD ON

tw for pregnancy!!!

these two are most definitely not trying to have a baby like 1000% no way are they going out of their way to have a child with each other. sure, they might have spoke about it in their past but that's exactly what it is, the PAST. and with the lifestyles they both lead they probably wouldn't even think that it's possible to be parents at all, y'know since he's always doing villain shit and she's always kicking his ass for it. so if she gets pregnant it'd be an accident

NOW. imagine if she gets pregnant just before he gets taken back to arkham, and maybe she put him there thinking like it's fine i'll see him again soon anyway. like ugh angst okay.

i feel like she would probably just ignore all of the signs to start with and go about as normal, because she'd be kinda in denial about the whole thing. there's no WAY she's pregnant with edward's kid. no way. but also,, yes way because she IS. but she's just like yeah im gonna ignore this because i've literally put the father of my child in arkham and i can't deal with this.

bruce would definitely notice, though. like i know that he would know that somethings up. the lil bit of extra weight (which he would never bring up but he sees it and he know it's there), cancelling plans they have to take down some criminal due to sickness, loss of appetite, feeling lethargic or overly tired. and then the final straw is when he mentions edward to her and she just bursts into tears on the spot and he's like yeah. i gotta go talk to alfred. like i KNOW he would ask alfred for confirmation of his suspicions and advise on what to do, and then the next time she sees him he just slides a couple of pregnancy tests over to her and he's like "you should take those" and she's like sighs. yeah :// and he'd help her a lot too like he's kinda awkward about it but he's there <3

ugh. like. okay. so she'd want to tell him. like desperately want to tell him that she's pregnant and that it's his but she'd just keep putting it off. everytime she builds the confidence to go to arkham or call and ask to speak to him she chickens out because she has no idea how he'll react. so when she tells him, it's pretty much because he's forced her hand.

like IMAGINE he manages to break out of arkham when she's like 4 months along, and he turns up at her doorstep and he's so prepared to tease her about it and be like "ha! better luck next time" and maybe fuck her if she's down but when she opens the door in just a shirt five times too big for her she looks fucking terrified and he's never seen her look like that before, at least not in reaction to him because he's and would never actually hurt her. so he's like what. the. fuck. whenever he breaks out she's like 'yeah, yeah i get it you have brains now kiss me' but this time she lets him in and she's just. eerily quiet. and he hates it. so he'd probably start asking all sorts of questions. "are you mad at me?" "did someone hurt you?" "are you seeing someone else?" and she'd probably break down and be like no please shut the fuck up and she'd shove him away when he tries to pull her to him, and eventually after like 5 minutes of arguing she'd just be like "IM PREGNANT OK?"

"honey, if i would have known i would've broken out a lot earlier"

i think he'd be scared, because she's already so far along but i also think he'd be thrilled because there's no one he'd rather have a baby with. so he'd hold her as she cries and reassure her that everything's gonna be fine and that it'll all work out.

i do think he'd be on his best behaviour while she's pregnant, like i think he'd try very very hard to not have to leave her again because he worries about her and he's protective anyway but now she's having his baby it's amplified. and like, she'd definitely be like "i know i'm in no state to kick your ass but i will call batman do not test me"

he'd low-key move into her place without telling her but she'd be like . i know what you're trying to do. because he stays there every night so he might as well right?? plus the pregnancy makes eddie look fucking delicious and although fucking him is what got her pregnant in the first place ,,, she's already pregnant so it wouldn't hurt. so that's handy.

he'd still do his livestreams though and i think he'd try and keep it quiet, but then she'd be in the background very obviously pregnant and word gets out and spreads very very fast and she's like . i am going to murder you. it'd be a scandal but i don't think it'd be that shocking to most.

type of mf to pass out at the birth i ain't even gonna say anything more.

he'd be absolutely smitten with your baby, and i think he'd still be on best behaviour after the birth but old habits never die hard and soon enough he'd be back on his bullshit because he just can't stop himself. he loves her and their baby but like . come on, she knows he's never gonna change.

so he's in and out of arkham, but he would 1000% break out OFTEN to see her and the baby because he misses them and he grew up without family and he would never ever want that for his own family so he's there when he can be although he could probably be there all of the time if he stopped being a shithead <33

"if you miss us why don't you stop getting arrested" "*shrugs* you know me" "yeah, unfortunately i do"

i think she'd be very transparent about who he is and the whole villain thing, but i don't think she'd ever make him out to be a genuinely bad guy because she doesn't think that and she wants her kid to grow up with both parents, as inconsistent as he is

she'd still kick his ass, like 100% she'd still knock ten bells of shit out of him if she really has to.

also like. uncle brucie. she probably knows his identity so like. he assumes the position of uncle and he's kinda awkward and doesn't really know how to interact but the kid LOVES him so much. eddie probably doesn't know his identity because like ,,, what a kick off that would be so when he's out of arkham it's uncle batman although he definitely wouldn't be happy about it "uncle batman? when did this happen?" "oh, i don't know. maybe while you were in a cell."

involved. parent. eddie when he's actually out of arkham. he'd want to know EVERYTHING. like every single detail or thing he's missed. and he'd want to be there for every parents day and every meeting and every recital or practise he'd want to be there and be involved. maybe a bit of that is because he gets a kick out of people being like "holy shit it's the riddler at the dance recital" but it's mostly just bc he loves their kid so badly.

when he gets out of arkham every-time it's like "look daddy's back!" as if he's just returned from a fucking business trip or something and there's nothing he'd love more than seeing his kid's face light up and having them run right into his arms. and he'd be so good w his kid too :(( like i bet they'd have so much fun and he'd be kinda natural at being a dad despite uh. everything.

and like. imagine if they have another one. god. everyone would be like 'we get the first time was an accident but like .... come on now' and she's just like well 😬😬😬😬😬😬 and he just finds it funny </3

overall it'd be dysfunctional to anyone looking in on their family dynamic but it's functional for them and they make it work so </3

dilf eddie 🙏🙏🙏🙏

[rinzis]

what your favourite genshin impact character says about you: no holding back edition

i’m finally allowed to post again!!! great joy

aether/lumine: you’re basic as hell sorry . also stop fighting over who the better twin is they’re literally the same person but different genders. you’re pretty fun to be around ig but i feel like you eat food off the floor. 5 second rule not 5 hour rule ok

amber: ok i’ve actually met a bunch of people whose fav is amber and you guys are actually really sweet but pls learn when to stfu you’re so loud . also you guys go feral whenever someone (everyone else in the fandom) says amber sucks like chill bae

kaeya: jesus fucking christ your horny is off the scale. every kaeya stan i’ve ever met cant keep it in their pants. and we know the only reason you like him is bc of his giga bouncer supreme ultra man rack 3000. stop saying you want him to smother you with his tits. get some help.

lisa: YOU GUYS ARE COOL AS HELL!!!!!! as someone who relates to lisa you’re very cool. most chill people to be around and you’re definitely super smart. not lazy but just reserved. 11/10. oh btw do you use her for climbing?

diluc: do you have daddy issues? you guys definitely have a thing for the tsundere archetype and you probably like zhongli too. just admit you want diluc to do the kabedon thing on you and move on. we know what you’re like. also how does it feel being so short? i swear every diluc stan is small as hell

jean: YOU GUYS are so sweet pls whenever i play co op with a jean main it’s just like wow you’re so strong and nice and thanks for healing my entire team wow........ however although you’re so responsible you probably enjoy cancelling people on twitter for fun . sorry

venti: VENTI STANS. I LOVE YOU. is it partially because i myself am a huge venti stan? yeah no. you probably missed out on his first banner and are saving for his rerun..... same......... anyways you guys give off the best vibes n it’s always so fun to be with you. i love you all

razor: i have one question for you guys . did you either like warrior cats or were you a wolf kid?

albedo: you guys are so smart wtf !!!!!!!!! you’re so rational in co op mode too and if you have albedo you probably use him as a sub dps for your teammates bc you’re so good at reading situations........ then again you also have some weird shit going on like cmon it’s milk after cereal you psychopaths

sucrose: you either kin sucrose or are creepy sorry . ok but she’s so underrated like her passive 3........ WOAH.............. you definitely use her in spiral abyss,,, also are you a burnout successful kid who used to kiss teachers’ asses and middle school was a breeze before getting to college/university and realising that professors don’t give a shit anymore? wow who would have guessed

diona: wannabe catgirls assemble! please move on from your warrior cats phase you’re almost as bad as the razor stans but you’re adorable too. you probably want qiqi or klee but don’t have them so you’re settling for diona

barbara: thanks for healing my team in co op barbara stans !!!! you guys are genuinely so nice omg thank you for being so reliable all the time,,, do you highlight your notes so it’s more art than notes? yeah that’s what i thought

mona: ok if no one else is gonna say it i will,,, no one understands shit about your astrology thing going on. i’m a caprisun? great

bennett: YOURE ALL ADORABLE. thanks for helping us out in co op!!!! you definitely advocate for bennett rights and yes pls do,,,, we all love benny deep down!!!! you either don’t have him or have him at like C218372

fischl: jojo stans

just kidding but you all probably act like fischl irl. also did you have an emo phase

klee: ok if your favourite is klee you definitely don’t have her . waiting patiently for klee’s rerun!!!! shes just so adorable and so are you guys,,,,, so fun to be around !!!!! you probably have diluc and hate him

noelle: you guys....... the rarest of the rare. you love trying to convince people that she’s a great healer dps n everything else...... no bae you probably use her because you like geo and claymores like hmm yes i will now hit things hard with my big sword and rock power

ok onto liyue now sweats nervously

childe: you guys are ALL simps. ALL OF YOU. go n touch some grass bro!!!!! you either think he’s super sexy or you bully him and make the ed sheeran jokes (not funny) . you follow griffin burns on tiktok too dont you

zhongli: you either love him for his gentle demeanour or you want him for his fat giga dumptruck 3000. make up your minds!!!!! you guys are so clueless in co op mode but you’re hilarious. you probably have his energy recharge at like 200% so you can use his ult and hear I WILL HAVE ORDER every 4 seconds

xiao: STOP GROWLING AT PEOPLE. every xiao main is so aggressive not joking . yeah the only reason you saved for him is because you want to stare at him all day n listen to him growling . you guys genuinely scare me . no he would not hold ur hand and do cute things with you,,,,,, if given half the chance he’d probably decapitate you

ningguang: alright jeff bezos, hand over the cash. yeah so you’re either rolling in it or want to be her sugar baby. but you guys have such an intimidating aura like playing with ning mains is just .... you always build her so well she’s an absolute tank!!!!!! thanks for scaring the shit out of me but also protecting me

beidou: YOU GUYS. you’re fun to be around but i also feel like you could probably destroy me in 3 seconds flat !!!!!!!! do you hate diluc too? i love playing with you guys because all i hear is TO ASHES every 2 seconds and she’s just cool as hell so yeah i really like beidou stans. i feel like you all have her so congrats

qiqi: you’re so cute,,,,, best healer !!!! you probably love playing qiqi because her skills look so cool and you prefer playing heal/support,, if you don’t have her you just love her bc she’s so tiny . spoiler alert but do you have a thing against xiao for killing her lol

xiangling: you’re so chaotic help,, you definitely pair her with xinyan too because you give off the most uncontrollable vibes,,,,,,, did you level her to use her in the spiral abyss or do you just think polearms are neat and don’t have xiao or zhongli

xinyan: please reread xiangling paragraph but replace polearm with claymore . you like either bring me the horizon or bubblegum pop there’s no in between

chongyun: you’re all the nicest people ever and you’re so chill . you love chongyun with your whole hearts and i adore you !!!!!! the animation of him eating the popsicle melts your hearts (no pun intended) and you just think he’s really cool :( ily all

xingqiu: chongyun vibes but make it kinda unnerved . burnout successful kids 2.0 ,,,,, are you clever too? you also love xingqiu and believe he’s worthy of being a 5 star with his heal and damage reduce !!!!! he’s so helpful wtf and so are you . please stop going on about his legs though it’s highkey weird asf

keqing: COOL PERSON SYNDROME! i main this gal so i love you all . do you get as mad as i do when people say she doesn’t deserve to be a 5 star? yeah . are you a procrastinator and try and take lessons from keqing but are just so lazy? do you use her teleport because you can’t be bothered to climb mountains? yeah that’s what i thought

ganyu: you’re all the nicest people alive and i adore you all . thanks for being so kind in co op mode . every ganyu main i’ve met is so sweet and you’re all so powerful too woah....... you hate the cocogoat jokes too >:( pls mihoyo give her more attention !!!!!

scaramouche: you have rights guys we know you exist. also we know you want him to be playable. we know that you think his hat is neat. we know you love this shawty but please be quiet.

signora: wait you guys exist

hu tao: you prank people for fun like pls stop im so on edge when youre around . plus i feel you laugh at videos of babies falling over n shit,,,,,,, you cant wait for her banner but also please shut the fuck up

dainsleif: please leave me the fuck alone we did 1 (one) quest with him and you’re all obsessed with him . ok second hand dmitri from fire emblem you want a medal for being a fucking simp?

[bidiotic]

dont rb

woah woah its 12:48 am and Im Already Feelin Bad.

[samsspambox]

Pranks at the NXX Office 2: Electric Boogaloo

thank you to @thenovelartist for the brain worm i accidentally deleted this and had to take a whole ass break so i wouldnt scream lmao

also this is  a mildly long continuation of this post sorry about that hehe

lets set the scene

so its a slow day at the nxx office. well, as slow as days can get i guess. 

marius is the first in the office because one of his classes got canceled and his business meeting had been rescheduled. he had time to kill. and how to spend time if not pranking vyn? and he knew which prank to do, he just had to wash the mop bucket they’d stashed away in the closet after getting the roomba 

by the time he found a towel and was done thoroughly washing the bucket (hey,, he was a prankster but he wasn’t a heathen) artem and luke had already made their way into the office. and were pointedly ignoring him. that was fair actually, plausible deniability was their friend. 

vyn was supposed to be the last one in, marius knew this. he had a class before the meeting time and if the clock was right, the good professor would be rushing it. mc had texted that they would be running late, so there was a good window of time to prank vyn, right? 

marius really thought he had this through. he just didn’t account for vyn’s chivalry. 

vyn had somehow bumped into mc in the lobby and they both walked into the office, but vyn insisted that mc went in first bc he was a try hard raised this way. love interests first and all that jazz, or so im told. so rosa went in instead of vyn. 

it was like looking at a train wreck happening- you couldn’t look away no matter how hard you tried. mc is now drenched in water and has a bucket for a hat. no one moves for three seconds, and honestly? marius can feel the bloodlust from all three of the guys until mc starts laughing and takes off the bucket. they all let out a sigh bc this is the first time any prank has befallen the beloved mc and if it werent for the sound of their laugh they would fucken murder marius. marius owns up to the prank tho, gives them the towel and lets everyone know that it was supposed to be for vyn but mc had gotten to it first. 

now: marius has clearly broken the unsaid rule they set on accident. never target mc. ever. how do the rest of the nxx boys react? 

artem send a glitter bomb to marius’ art studio as retaliation. luke somehow someway modifies his tablet to have really dumb audio pop out at random intervals (it happened once in his 8am class and it was a moan. marius wanted to dIE). vyn tapes a fake cockroach in his cup at the office. all consecutively though, so it feels like a lot and targeted. 

and even then, mc catches wind of the prank war going on and wants in. that brings in a whole ass new problem: do they prank mc and make her feel included at the risk of getting absolutely bombarded with pranks from the other three? one look at mc and they decide that fine, she can join, but nothing too bad and that have to make it blatantly obvious that it was them for retaliation purposes. 

marius and luke are the ones who play the most pranks on mc because one is young and the other is their childhood bestie. vyn usually bakes treats with something weird in them as a prank for mc, and artem just does the smallest things because he wouldn’t DARE play a big ass prank on mc. thats a god damn death wish. the most he’s ever done in front of the nxx boys is tap on her shoulder so they look the other way. thats it. 

mc is allowed to get away with murder any prank they pull on the boys. in fact, they probably enjoy the pranks they play on the guys. good shit mc, go play with your boys. 

[sakuatsutingz]

Sorry for being specific but Can I request Atsumu and Kageyama with a fem!crush who is the top female highschool volleyball player and is the only female invited to the National youth training camp and basically they were paired together for training or something? Thank youuuuuu 💞

hand in marriage anon ?? also the trainings mentioned below were from my own experience in vb training camp !! enjoy bbies <3 aLSO ATSUMUS PART GOT SELF INDULGENT SORRY YALL - jamie

atsumu & kageyama with a crush who was invited to the youth training camp

masterlist here request or talk to us here

atsumu

before we start can we appreciate the photo of tsumu like bc THATS MY MAN -jamie

you were a second year volleyball player in itachiyamas girl vbc

and it just so happened you were the top highschool female ace and server in all of japan !!

but atsumu’s never heard of u because he was too focused on his own competitors

and so when you walked through the doors of the gym, he was confused

everyone was confused

why is a female here ?? in a training outfit ?? 

answer was the female’s youth training camp was canceled due to the lack of eligible female players

and it just so happened you were the only one eligible for a youth training camp so you were redirected to the male’s youth camp

and thus u were the only female invited to the camp

searches how to be a y/n ...

let’s just say you were friends with sakusa and komori and they were the only ones in the camp informed of you being a part of it

and when you entered komori jogged up to you with a wave and greets u !! <3

“hello everyone !! im l/n y/n, i look forward to training with you all !!” “wAHH A GIRL IS WITH US ??” “WE GOTTA IMPRESS HER GUYS HOLD UP”

when atsumu saw u something inside him just felt good ??

like why does he suddenly feel like the world got just a bit brighter whenever he sees you

inwardly panics in jealousy when he sees u with sakusa and komori during lunch

he assumes you must be rlly good in vball because how else would one girl out of all be invited to a national camp meant for boys ??

the first time you guys talked was basically in a practice match

you were the temporary captain of your team and he was the temporary captain of the other team

before the match started you both shook hands like the good captains u both are lowkey wheezing abt how that was a fat lie

“let’s have a good match now, miya !” “u-uh, yeah- same for yer’ team.”

he wasnt his usually flirty self around you BYEHAHHABDBF

he was trying his hardest to actually look smooth and talk to you 

but he fails 99% of the time and his crush for you just grows even more

but on the last day of training, the serving practices basically required a partner on the opposite side of the net

your mental list of desired partners slowly narrowed as they all got their own parters, leaving atsumu for you to ask

when you went up to him with a smile he short circuited

pls help him he’s malfunctioning

“oi, miya, do you wanna be my partner ?” “yeah, yeah.”

DONT BE FOOLED BY HIS OUTER SELF HES LITERALLY DYING INSIDE

as the practices started he didn’t know what this boy has gotten himself into

atsumu is the top male highschool server

and he just so didn’t know his own partner was also the top female highschool server so it turned into a competition REAL QUICK

god damn this boy needs to read the volleyball magazines more ..

“hA YOU WERENT ABLE TO RECEIVE THAT BEAT THAT LOSER” “iTS JUST A FLUKE ILL BEAT’CHA JUST YA WAIT”

you guys turned into best friends real quick bye

sorry not sorry komori

after a long day, you were already in the bus station abt to go home

it was basically atsumu’s last chance to actually talk to you before he has only luck to see you again

so he went up to you in the bus stop like the smooth boy he is

spoiler, he wasnt. he looked real awkward tryna sit next to you

you were just scrolling on your phone until he asked u out which made u choke on AIR

like dude r u fr ??

“so um, y/n.” “yeah ?” “go out with me.”

he’s literally a blushing mess good bye

you smile bc u were literally hoping he would ask u out before u went home

you kiss him on the cheek and say yes <33

HOW TO GET AN ATSUMU MIYA IN YOUR LIFE ??????? THIS IS FUCKINMG UNFAIR

a bonus “why do you have l/n as your phone wallpaper, ‘tsumu ??” “SHUT UP ‘SAMU”

kageyama

okay so youre a first year and still the top ace and server in highschool ykyk

but this time you were on shiratorizawa’s girl vbc !!

you got invited to the camp cause they needed another person for an even number but couldn't find a male

so you got invited

kageyama would probably know who you are already

he’s been to one of your games in the nationals and that’s where his crush started <33

like he seemed to pay much more attention when it was your turn to serve !!

he wasn’t exactly oblivious about his own crush on you but he is definitely confused on why does he look at you like you’re the only player on court

it was kinda obvious so when hinata pointed it out to him it just clicked

oh shit ,, he does have a crush on y/n l/n

literally panics on what to do with it but honestly he doesn’t see you much unless you guys are on the same court

which is exactly what happened in the national youth training camp because you guys are ON THE SAME COURT

he got really flustered about it, thinking that he was to spend the next few days with you

when you get partnered together he got very quiet at first

ya'll got partnered because kageyama didn't want to ask anyone so the coaches put you together

"why did it have to be her?" "she's going to find out ,,"

very shy around you at first

but eventually once you two get comfy he becomes more like his usual self

he's a lot more caring and observant when it comes to you

i mean a lot

he would offer you to join his table during lunch

your both very good servers, so you help each other practice serves

you would need to be the one to ask him out

probably would be second to last day of camp or the last day

"hey kags? would you wanna meet up after the camp ends? like a date or something."

boy would malfunction right then and there

it would take him a moment, but would eventually accept <33

doesnt talk about it when he gets back to karasuno

but the others on the team can just s e e somethings different

he seemed happier and more motivated then usual

we all know hinatas gonna spill about his crush on u tho just saying

cause u both made a promise to see each other at nationals finals !!

and he wanted to keep that promise <33

a bonus “kageyama-kun, was that l/n from shiratorizawa you were talking to ?” “wAIT WHAT I DONT KNOW HER UM” “but you even hugged her ..”