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annbourbon · 10 days

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Flowers inside the Cheritzverse

For the sake of this I'm gonna derail the post a bit because otherwise this is not gonna work lol we need to talk about fairies first~ fairies and flowers. Yes, the two of them are closely linked and I do not dare to make a different post for it. If we are to talk about the Wizard of Dandelion and The Cheritzverse, we need to talk about the fairy concept in general. I already talked about the magic contracts and karmic laws which in theory are not linked together irl but write do use it together, because it's kinda cool (?) but whatever~ so let's begin with the fae world. I'm not gonna delve a lot into it, just gonna touch the basics.

So 101 here~

They are not called fairies but fae. They are divided by Seelie and Unseelie Courts. And please, do not let your human thoughts think that ones are "good" and the others are "bad" or something like that. Actually, representations like that are more harmful than anything. They're not supposed to be similar or have affinity to human standards. So whatever you consider beautiful, ugly or inappropriate, it's different for them. I believe the same concept it's applied to good and bad for them. And that they have particular affinity to change if they see you want to "like them". It's fun to consider that the books of YA can't be more inaccurate sometimes *sighs* I won't try to fight those cause it's difficult to change an idea once established but, At least that's what I have gathered from the fairytales~~~~~

* Some devas are associated with fairies.

* Random fact that doesn't come on the fairy bible but~ did you know the earth has chakras too? And when connecting chakras with some powerful places (where several ley lines touch) it can create weird events.

* Water is a conductor. Always. And not only electricity but also ley lines can drift because of that.

* Seriously read about ley lines because these can be used as a method of transportation. If you want to read how would that work, you should read Kim Harrison's series, The Hollows. Which could tie my theory on how witches and fae folk and demons too btw~ can work all along the Cheritzverse. This is not exclusive on her works but it's where I have seen the idea explained in a better way. Which makes me think of several myths and stuff that has been going around for ages (big fan of supernatural and so weird series here so lol i've been studying mythology a lot.)

* Fae folk are diverse. So even if someone, yes even me, says one thing, another can say whatever and we're all free to enjoy them as we please.

So how does this ties to the Cheritzverse will you ask? Well~ that's why flowers and trees have a long and ancient culture around and even their own meanings.

Although there are versions in Greece where the Hesperides Garden contains several "sacred trees" (among those apparently it's the pomegranate. Which ties to Jaehee~ and others like The Monkey King legend in China where you can see the Garden of Immortal Peaches. it's all about paying attention to the detail to see the patterns.)

BTW I found the Fairy Bible so useful to help me in my defense and to build up how the Cheritzverse would work. Really, I wanted to create more on this but I had to cut it cause the post is so long already. For now let's delve into the language of flowers~

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From now on~ I grabbed the links, I copied/pasted and added everything I know so here till the end I'm gonna be quoting A Guide for the Flower Language and adding a lot of insights from A victorian flower dictionary, Le Langage des fleurs by de Latour (1819) and Floriography, among other notes I have. Check bibliography at the end of the post for more notes.

To make it clearer, I'm gonna quote it in bold. I'm also gonna go a bit more deeper than what the Mint Eye package and Cheritz said because I have some books and knowledge on mythology, and some knowledge (although not extensive or this post it's gonna become giantic) I have on medicine to add onto this, so be warned; this is gonna be a long post, but here we go~

Disclaimer: I'm not a medical professional. My family however has been dedicated to this for ages so I do have some knowledge on this, HOWEVER please do not take my word for this and attempt to self medicate. Thank you.

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For people who need to know only the flowers that are displayed here, in case they find another different~~

♡ Anemone ♡ Almond

♡ Bluebell ♡ Baby breath

♡ Clivias* ♡ Cactus

♡ Chrysantemum ♡ Clover

♡ Daisy ♡ Dandelion

♡ Daffodil ♡ Delphinium

♡ Daylily

♡ Eustoma/Lisianthus

♡ Fritillaria Thunbergii ♡ Forget-me-not

♡ Geranium ♡ Gooseberry*

♡ Hyacinth ♡ Hydrangea

♡ Hypoxis Aurea ♡ Lily of the Valley

♡ Lily ♡ Lilac

♡ Mistletoe ♡ Myrtle

♡ Michaelmas Daisy* ♡ Narcissus

♡ Rhondanthe (Paper Daisy)

♡ Rose ♡ Orchid

♡ Peony ♡ Pineapple

♡ Pomegranate ♡ Palm Tree*

♡ Serbian Bellflower*

♡ Primrose (Cowslip) ♡ Tulip

♡ Weigela ♡ Willow

** Honorable mentions: Jonquil and Adonis.

* Working on this because they were late additions.

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Anemone - Forsaken, abandonation(?) Mentioned by Ray during a call. Also: Truth. Transitory. Endangered Love. Anticipation.

* Adonis is another flower related to this myth. The flower means sad memories.

Because the anemone's blossoms were thought to open on windy days and they're also short-lived, they have become a symbol of a transitory love that moves like a breath of breath wind. The original bloodred wildflowers were associated with Aphrodite upon the passing of Adonis from the earthly scene.

Then another paragraph comes like this:

These beautiful, fragile flowers come from the near East and the Mediterranean, and were first brought to Britain at the end of the 16th century [....] Their name comes from the Greek anemos, meaning 'the wind', because their delicate flowers appear to open in a gentle breeze, but are so short-lived, like a breath of wind.

Then it proceeds to describe the how the goddess was besotted with Adonis and he was fatally wounded by a wild boar and died in her arms.

She sprinkled nectar on his blood and fron that comes the anemone. Love is fleeting and doesn't last. That is what the flower represents. There's a representation in The Awakening Conscience from William Holman Hunt's 1853, where a small vase of anemones appears. Hinting that the affair will not last. Although it's not the only thing that hints that. The room is full of objects that talk of her predicament.

Although today they have more resilience, they still have the meaning of fading youth behind.

Almond blossom - Hope. (see birthday flowers down below for reference.)

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Baby breath - Pureness. Freedom. Innocence. Undying Love. (Usually seen and mentioned during Dandelion & Mystic Messenger) Also: Love Everlasting.

Bluebell - Humility. Also: Grief. Either the loss of a loved one or the end of an affair. Constancy. This flower is also known campanula, which depending on the location can be or not the same flower and mean Gratitude.Thankfulness.

*there's another 'bell' called harebell. This is why I prefer their scientific names. No way you can confuse them. At least ut hasn't happened to me just yet. anyways~ bellflower is gratitude, or an indiscretion, and bluebell (ironically i think they're not blue lol) mean grief. Do with this what you want lol

Bouquet of withered flowers - rejected love mentioned by Unknown in Another Story Also: Constancy. Dead leaves means sadness.

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Cactus - endurance (V's favorite) Also: Warmth

Clivias - Happiness, passion, kindness (Saeyoung Choi)

Chrysantemum - you're a wonderful friend, cheerfulness and rest. Condolences.

Used in funerals and placed on graves. This ritual may derive from the practice of decorating graves on All Souls’s Day, a christian holiday occurring in early November, when many blooms are difficult to find.

Red: I love. Love at first sight. Yellow: slighted love. White: Truth

The Japanese, who have made it the emblem of their emperor consider the orderly unfolding of its petals to ve symbolic of perfection. [...]

The essence of the flower is unravelled just as the truth is so often revealed: at first hidden, then brought into the light.

The flower didn't arrive Britain until 18th century. And in the 1800s the French had a craze for these flowers and a bestselling novel of the time was Madame Chrysanthème by Pierre Loti, who drew upon a lifetime of travel for the plots of his exotic romances.

Pair with: Willow for a friend grief, gladiolus for a broken heart.

Clover - Life to come. Be mine. Think of me (if it's white)

Credits to: @cheritzheadcanonz

Where? Jiyeon gives it to us in Dandelion.

Symbolizes: luck (green). Fortune. Yellow: hope and divinity, success, romance, red: love, white: purity. Purple: royalty. pink: admiration.

Also: marriage, faithfulness and protection.

A four leaf clover is considered as a sign of extraordinary luck. In irish culture, the shamrock variant is tied to St. Patrick Day and the Holy Trinity. The clover is also a way to enhance the connection to nature.

The ancient Druids in Ireland believed that carryng a clover allowed one to detect evil spirits approaching, while carrying one in Middle Ages led people to believe they could see fairies.

Clover" has roots in Old Germanic, evolving from "Klaibron" to "clæfre" in Old English, and eventually to "clover" by the 18th century.

Trefoil" derives from Latin, with "tri" and "folium" meaning three and plant, respectively, leading to "Trifolium." It was shortened to "tri-foil" in Middle Ages Anglo-Norman French and settled as "trefoil" in Middle English.~ HelloFearless

If paired with apple blossom and dandelion, shows hope that the recipient’s wishes will come true.

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Daisy - not really appearing but the closest flower to V's Rhondante aka Paper Daisy.

However and just for the sake of it let's do daisies. White: innocence. A love that conquers all. Wild: I will think of it. Oxeye: Disappointment. Patience. Also: Perseverance. Childhood

Back in the day, and sometimes today too~ people used to play adivination with daisies, by picking petals one by one ~ 'he loves me, he loves me not' was and is still known. Tied to Freya in Norse mythology. Goddess of fertility, motherhood and childbirth. In Celtic tradition, daisies grew for the spirits of children who died in birth.

Paired with baby’s breath as a gift for a newborn baby.

Paired with peony and violet for an expression of childhood bliss.

Dandelion - Smiling on all. Or as Cheritz would say~ Wishes brought to you. Divination and fortune telling.

The myth behind the «Dandelion»

Okay~ so I wanted to recollect everything I could before starting on the legend:

♡ Symbol of the Sun

♡ "The Teeth of the Lion"

♡ Enjoyed by Ancient Geeks, egyptians and Romans. Even used by traditional chinese medicine for overa thousand years.

♡ One of the most nutritional vegetables you'll ever find btw!

♡ Masters of survival

♡ The roots clone when divided

♡ It can cure the liver

♡ It's diuretic

This is one of my favorite flowers, now, the mystery is that no one really knows where the myth of wishing upon dandelions comes from, sone say it can be traced back to the Celts and other to the French. Some myths say that if you blow all the seeds off a dandelion with a single breath your wish will come true but if seeds remain, then it may depend~

Others think the dandelion tells the time or the weather. From food to medicine to dye, to carry dreams and wishes, every part of the dandelion has found some utility.

Daffodil - admiration. new beginnings. regard (Rika's favorite)

The lovely golden daffodil is a welcome, heart-lifting sight, as it marks the end of winter and the beginning of a new season. It comes into full flower around Easter time, when thoughts turn towards the renewal of life and the Resurrection. It is also known as the Lent lily or the Easter lily.

* Kind reminder that Rika is Catholic and also, this is another way of hinting she's not dead.

A more sombre note might prevail in rural areas, where it was said to be unlucky to bring the flowers into the house of anyone who kept poultry because this would prevent the eggs from hatching. (...)

(...) In some places, Wales in particular, the daffodil was used in traditional practice of "flowering the graves" (...)

It is said that the connection with mournful and unlucky matters comes from the old story that the name daffodil is said to derivr from the medieval Latin affodilus abs asphodelos in Greek ~ The asphodel, the plant that grew in the meadows of the underworld.

The Greek legend of Narcissus tells of a handsome and proud hunter who upon seeing his reflection in the waters of a spring, falls in love with himself and drowns. Daffodils were born to mark his grave.

If you pair a camellia with a daffodil, it means unrequited love.

Paired with clove, for hope and change.

Paired with sweet pea to indicate giving up on an ill-suited romance.

Delphiniums - big hearted person, dignity and grace (V) Also: Happiness. Levity.

Daylily - romantic love, forget painful events from the past. It's called the flower that helps to forget sorrows. Green: harmony, growth, rebirth. (Yoosung) White: fleeting beauty. Blue: Coquetry.

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Eustoma - mentioned with the latin name Lisianthus when you get to ask Ray for flower meanings. Everlasting Love.

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Fritillaria - Persecution.

Forget Me Not - True love, love at first sight, , memories, don't forget me. Also: I will never forget you. Remembrance.

The name of this pretty and delicate flower, which enamels riverbanks and garden borders with its miniature sky-blue petals, speaks of human longing for loyalty and lastingness. Its name comes from German folk tale about a couple who, on the eve of their marriage, take a walk by the banks of the Danube. The young bride admires a cluster on the flowers, and her fiancé goes forward to pick them for her, but falls into the river. Before he is carried away by the turbulent waters, he throws the flowers at the feet of his betrothed, crying, 'Vergiss mein nicht!'

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Geranium - I'm happy because of you. Also: (oak leaf): friendship. Pink: preference. Scarlet: Comfort. Consolation and melancholy. White: gracefulness.

When its flowers drop, the exposed fruit is revealed to be pointed in shape, like a crane’s bill. The Greeks noticed this resemblance to the bird and called the flower geranion, from geranos, meaning “crane”.

Scarlet geranium is a very popular bedding plant that was originally sent to Europe from South Africa back in 1609. The sailors for the Dutch East India Company would pick them cause they would last through the voyage without perishing.

Gooseberry -

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Hyacinth - Games and sports. Rashness. Blue: Constancy. Usually seen in MC room in Magenta. Purple: forgiveness. sorrow. White: beauty, unobtrusive loveliness. Yellow: jealousy

The hyacinth takes its name and meaning from the Greek mythology. Hyacinthus, a beautiful young man, beloved by Apollo, died during a game of discus throwing, Apollo’s discus was knocked from its course by a jealous Zephyrus, striking Hyacinthus and thus, killing him. It’s said the flowers were grown from the blood that fell from his head wound as Apollo begged his forgiveness.

Paired with olive for peace and forgiveness.

Paired with pansies to indicate you betrayal haunts you.

Hydrangea - Truth, thank you for understanding, frigidity, heartlessness, (here's my own interpretation of this flower), seen in Ray's garden.

Also: Calm, dispassion.

Hypoxis Aurea - Symbolizes health. Very appropriate for a doctor (Henri)

Belongs to the Orchid-Lily Family. From Greek, words “hypo”, meaning “below” and “oxy”, which means “sharp” or “pointed”, referring to the ovary which is pointed at the base. Also called Golden Star Grass. Native from Indo-China, Malaysia. Asia.

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Lily - feminity, innocence and purity. Majesty. (Jaehee) Purity of heart. Fertility. White: Purity and rebirth. Sweetness. Usually for both funerals and weddings. (Yoosung's Christmas) Pink: Love, feminity and admiration. Red: Passion. Orange: Confidence and energy. Yellow: Friendship, thankfulness and joy Purple: Royalty, elegance spirituality.

Also: False and gay (outdated: gay meaning happy)

The lily name meaning comes from the Old English lilie, from Latin lilium and from Greek leirion. Originally, we took lily from the Hebrew word “Shoshannah” (שׁוֹשַׁנָּה), which was borrowed from the Egyptians. This name became popular in almost every culture across the world. It's Italy's national flower.

Please take note that daylilies are not considered true lilies. But then again there are at least 100 species of lilies so~

**Some parts of lilies and only some variants of lilies have been used in traditional medici e and culinary dishes to treat digestive issues and skin conditions. But most of them are not, and it can be dangerous if you don't know~ so please avoid intake if you're in doubt.

Lily of the Valley - Return of Happiness. Healing heartbreak. Unconscious sweetness.

This is one of my big peeves, you'll see, daffodils and lillies unlike dandelions, are actually poisonous. Or at least, this one, it's poisonous. And here they are in Cheritz saying to us that we need to believe in MC? Do we? Is the lily of the valley true happiness, or shadows of something else lurk around?

Also called sometimes Lady’s tears. There’s a short story where it is said that the Queen of the fairies asked a group of gnomes for a drink, so they had to gather nectar from blossoms in little porcelain cups. But it was late in tha day and the gnomes were worn out, so they tried, but fell asleep. Next morningm the gnomes awoke to find fast-growing grasses had lifted the little cups out of their reach, luckily the Queen saw their plight and cast a spell so that each cup became a white flower bell and any blossom they reached for became the correct cup to choose.

Lilac - For more of my rant here~ but the meaning of this flower it's first emotions of love. Love at first sight.

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Mistletoe - I surmount difficulties.

On a winter’s day, when the sun is long and the shadows long, the mistletoe is revealed in all its unearthly beauty, hoisted high in the leafless trees. It appears to have no roots, no means by which it can obtain nutrients and water, and yet remains fres and green when everything around is lifeless. Surely it cannot live? And yet, against all odds, the mistletoe flourishes. Hope. (appears during Christmas DLC ofc, 😉) there's a little story on my book of fairies that talks about the fairy of the mistletoe.

Myrtle - Love. Frequently associated with Venus, the myrtle bush offered her protection while she bathed. Since ancient times it has symbolized the chief of passions, love and according to classical tradition, it has the ability to both inspire and retain that emotion.

Michaelmas Daisy - A farewell, a departure.

Michaelmas Daisies are also frequently known by their Botanical Latin name of Aster. The name ‘aster’ is from the Greek for star, and refers to the shape of the flower heads.

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Narcissus - Self love. Narcissism. Egotism. Overconfidence. So, people tend (me included) to confuse jonquils, daffodils and narcissus. While I already talked about this, I'll talk about it again~ here you go:

BTW~ if we talk about jonquils as korean birthday flower, it would mean answer to love. While narcissisus would mean mystery lol (see birthday flowers)

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Rose - The meaning it's quite simple. Love. Red: Passionate love. White: happy love. A heart unacquainted with love. Worthiness. My heart is free. Loyalty, pure love, commitment (Zen/Hyun Ryu) Pink: Grace. Modesty. Infatuation, beauty. Mildness, persuasion. (Zen's Christmas.) Orange: fascination. Yellow: jealousy, infidelity. Pale peach: Modesty. Burgundy: Unconscious beauty. Purple: Enchantment.

So for example if you gift someone a yellow rose, it's supposed to be jealous love. However the meaning might change if you put other flowers around.

In the Greek myth, Chloris, the goddess of flowers is said to have turned a beautiful, dead nymph into a rose, she invited Apollo to warm the bloom, Aphodite to lend it her beauty, Dionysus to add sweet nectar and the 3 Graces to supply charm, joy and magnificence. Chloris called her the Queen of flowers.

On a high note: I never liked roses because I thought of them to be too common. However, way before they were produced in mass, roses were so rare and difficult to find, so people would hold onto the petals even as they fell and dried. So it's interesting to know that, roses were once a symbol of fragility and rare.

Rhondanthe - Romance. Rose flower. According to Wikipedia, is supposed to be the name of a Corinthians Queen in Greek mythology who attracted a great name of suitors due to her beauty. Such beauty was a blessing and a burden so she sought protection in a friend and a goddess (different mythology here~ romans) Diana. The flower comes in pink and white. But there are little to no information that I could find for now~

BTW it seems this is another flower heavily associated with Adonis and Aphrodite myth. Also called paper daisy.

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Orchid - Refined Beauty. Love, beauty, refinement, beautiful lady, chinese symbol for many children.

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Peony - Happy life, happy marriage. Bravery. Bashfulness.

Also: Anger. Shame and ostentation.

The chinese call the peony "sho yu" meaning most beautiful. The ancient Chinese believed peonies were created by the goddess of the moon to reflect her beams at night. It was also viewed as a major healing plant. And in ancient Greece it was said that nymphs could turn themselves into peonies to avoid being seen by humans.

Paired with hyacinth and violet to apologize and ask for forgiveness.

Pair with: Foxglove as a gift for a secret admirer.

Pineapple - Cheerful welcome and warm reception. Symbol of hospitality. Good luck. I'm having a blast looking at Harry's flower cause he is definitely~ lolol

Apparently back in the day, it was really hard for European farmers to cultivate pineapples and it took them 200 years to make it work. So it became a symbol of royalty and privilege. You can read the whole story on the links, I'm not posting it because the post is getting so long~ but it's quite fascinating.

Primrose - The meaning is unconscious beauty. Winning grace. Also named as cowslip. (It seems Ray mentioned it's his favorite flower in a call.)

Pomegranate blossom - Elegance. Sanctity. Abundance. life, fertility. Eternal life. Good luck. Strength. Does anyone here remembers the myth of Persephone? I think these days it's one of our internet favorite couples lol so I won't really delve into it but~

I do want to point out the similarities between the games in the Cheritzverse and the myth. This however will be delved in another post and dropped into my References of pop culture~ masterlist I'm creating on the Cheritzverse.

Palm Tree -

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Serbian Bellflower - Everlasting love, gratitude, constancy. (Jumin Han)

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Tulip - Declaration of love. Arrogance. Perfect lover. Smile of sunshine. Joy in love and life. Yellow: Friendship, beautiful eyes (Jaehee's Christmas. Found other tulips on Harry's route but they were orange.)

A Turkish legend tells us of two lovers who longed to be together, Ferhad and Shirin, but their love is forbidden. So when Ferhad hears rumors that Shirin has taken her own life, he kills himself in order to be with her for eternity. Tulips~ symbols of his devotion, spring up where his blood is spilled.

Tulips are iconic flowers from the Netherlands, although they originally came from Persia. It became really expensive after being introduced from Turkey.

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Weigelas - faithfulness, grace and charm (Saeran Choi) Also: Riches. Maiden beauty.

Willow - (branches) bravery. Mourning, melancholy. Brought to Britain in the 18th century, originally from eastern Asia, usually lives by water, a trabquil slow-running river its favoured spot. Its branches are pendulous and low, and when the wind catches its leaves~ seems to be whispering sad and sorrowful things. The willow usually represents grief and sadness at the death of the lovers, remaining the same, trembling in the wind, watching the tragedy unfold. (See birthday flowers down below)

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There's another thing, in Korea your b-day has a flower that corresponds to the day you were born and not just to the month.

In this case:

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♡ Zen [Apr 1st] ~ Almond (Faithful Love) Also: hope

♡ Yoosung [March 12] ~ Weeping Willow (The Sadness of Love) Also: Mourning. Bravery.

♡ Saeyoung & Saeran [June 11] ~ Fritillaria Thunbergii (Charm) Also: Persecution

♡ V [Sept 9] ~ Michaelmas Daisy (Memories)

Rika [Nov 3] ~ Bryony (Rejection) Also: Be my support

♡ Jumin [Oct 5] ~ Palm Tree (Victory)

♡ Jaehee [Dec 28] ~ Pomegranate (Mature Beauty)

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♡ June [Feb 9] ~ Myrtle (Whisper of Love)

♡ Harry [Dec 20] ~ Pineapple (Absolute perfection)

♡ Teo [July 7] ~ Gooseberry (Expectations)

♡ Henri [Aug 26] ~ Hypoxis Aurea (Looking for the light)

*LMAO they definitely knew of this which means I'm on the right track! Because Harry has a pineapple tattoo e.e which also means, V is the Wizard. I mean~ at least is heavily implied since he is the one who keeps all the memories. I remember what the V told to Jumin one night during Another Story common route~ and he really went for misdirection I'll misquote but it's about the same: "Jumin is my memories/ He remembers better than me~"

Sure~ whatever you say V 🙄

**In case you're curious about your own flower go to the links~

⋆ ₊ ﾟ ☽ * ₊ ⋆⋆ ₊ ﾟ ☽ * ₊ ⋆⋆ ₊ ﾟ ☽ * ₊ ⋆⋆ ₊ ﾟ ☽ * ₊ ⋆

Final Notes:

It took me at least three weeks and I had some help to finish this post and it's not even fully finished 😭 while I don't like to post things like this, sometimes people around me have much more knowledge and can help me better. At this point it's kind of traumatic to publish it like this but please be aware I'm burned. I will keep updating. I just need to take a huge week or something because I also spent 3 days straight without sleeping because of stress so I'm posting this one and I'll edit it later on to add the stuff I didn't add yet like the mistletoe fairy and more on fairies.

I have yet to add some more from Dandelion, Nameless and The Ssum. If anyone wants to collaborate, do tag or rt with the flowers and dates of the guys of the Cheritzverse for me so I can update it with the new info. I'm already working on Harry's but it's taking me forever so any help it's welcomed and appreciated. You'll be added and credited ofc.

Tagging: @smol-grey-tea and @cherrychipheart who have been waiting for me all this time~ thank you so much♡

⋆ ₊ ﾟ ☽ * ₊ ⋆⋆ ₊ ﾟ ☽ * ₊ ⋆⋆ ₊ ﾟ ☽ * ₊ ⋆⋆ ₊ ﾟ ☽ * ₊ ⋆

Links:

♡ Part of the credit here goes to:

Megami605Sama on X

♡ Ray's Guide of the Flower Language on Amino

♡ Reddit - The flowers and their meanings from the latest CG

♡ Your Birthday Flower

♡ Pineapple hospitality

♡ Pineapple story

♡ More on Clover

♡ Hypoxis Aurea

* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊* ੈ✩‧₊˚*

Bibliography: *i'm updating this

♡ Teresa Moorey - The Fairy Bible (2008) [Pages: 15, 24, 25, 38, 46, 47, 56 - 60, 78 - 87, 90, 91.... ]

♡ A Guide for the Flower Language

♡ A victorian flower dictionary by Mandy Kirby (found it on archive.org)

♡ Le Langage des fleurs by de Latour (1819)

♡ Floriography by Jessica Roux (2020)

#annabourbon #danteann #tumblr girl #girl #cheritz #cheritz ssum #cheritzverse #the ssum #mystic messenger #dandelion wishes brought to you #dandelion #dandelion cheritz #nameless #nameless the one thing you must recall #nameless cheritz #language of flowers

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mykpopwire · 10 months

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interview: 82MAJOR Aspire to be the 'FIRST CLASS' Idol in Their Own Colour

82MAJOR, a six-member South Korean boy group under GREAT M Entertainment, has made their official debut with the release of their 1st single, ON. Their name was inspired by South Korea’s country code, 82, and the group’s aspirations to introduce a new direction to K-pop and establish themselves as a major presence globally. Let’s get to know more about the group and their music direction in the recent interview.

Hwang Seong Bin (left), Nam Seong Mo (right)

Q: Some of the members contributed to the song writing process for this debut single. Can you offer some insights to the song writing process and the messages that you wanted to convey through the lyrics?

Nam Seong Mo: When I first heard the melody of "SURE THING," it brought a positive, hopeful feeling. It inspired me to write lyrics as if directly communicating with our fans. Crafting these lyrics, a lot of beautiful words came to mind. In a section mentioning "a small firefly," I remembered being a child and witnessing a firefly, amazed at how something so small could emit such a bright light. I aimed to be a similar source of light, even if small, for our fans. That’s how the lyrics came together.

Hwang Seong Bin: While creating "FIRST CLASS," my focus was on the aspiration for 82MAJOR to reach a first-class status in the future. I aimed to express this ambition through the song's lyrics.

Yoon Ye Chan: When I was working on “FIRST CLASS,” I just realized that it was natural for us because we are confident with our writing and rapping skills. So, when it came down to writing process, with the ‘first class’ and ‘this is who we really are’ mindset, it was really easy to write the lyrics that match the song.

Q: Do you have any particular goals for this debut single?

Cho Seong Il: Even though we just made our debut, it is my goal to receive the Rookie of the Year award. It is the biggest goal that we have. After receiving the Rookie of the Year award, we will do our best to receive the grand award through our next album.

Nam Seong Mo: I really want to be first place on a music show.

Park Seok Joon: We aim to showcase our group's incredible presence to the public. With tracks like "FIRST CLASS" and "SURE THING" offering different vibes, our goal is to excel in expressing those diverse vibes through facial expressions and gestures, highlighting our capability to pull off such different concepts.

Q: On your journey to debut, did anything funny or memorable moment that you will remember forever?

Cho Seong Il: During the filming of the music video for "FIRST CLASS," the weather started out great but took a turn with sudden rain in the evening. We were concerned about continuing the shoot, but the director proposed capturing the current atmosphere, so we ended up filming the music video in rain. The director did a great job in bringing out the vibe even during when it was raining, and I think it came out better than what was originally intended.

Park Seok Joon (left), Yoon Ye Chan (right)

Q: What is one thing that is very different between being a trainee and a rookie idol?

Cho Seong Il: I think our daily schedule changed a lot. Before as trainees, we would always practice here in the practice room. Now that we've made our debut, we have more opportunities to attend schedule elsewhere. Also, we get more time to interact with our fans, which I find to be great.

Park Seok Joon: For me, when I was a trainee, I did not have the confidence that I will debut for sure. Now that we've made our debut, I want to show a better side of us, and it motivates me to do well during practice sessions as well as lyrics writing.

Kim Do Gyun: I think I was able to gain new experiences, and it allowed us to come together more as a team and improve our teamwork.

Q: What is something that you really look forward to now that you've debuted?

Yoon Ye Chan: Personally for me, performing in front of other people and writing more songs. That’s what I look forward to.

Park Seok Joon: When our debut was confirmed as we received the songs for the album, I really look forward to finding out the songs that we will get to perform.

Hwang Seong Bin: I'm really excited for getting the opportunity to collaborate with other artists.

Cho Seong Il (left), Kim Do Gyun (right)

Q: What attracted you to have music as your career and what made you decide to be an idol?

Yoon Ye Chan: My family has a very long and extensive line in music; my brother is already an idol (P1Harmony’s KEEHO), my mother was a pianist while my uncles major in guitar and drums (respectively). Since our whole family has been working in the music industry, so I have always been surrounded by music and naturally compelled in doing music.

Cho Seong Il: As I was thinking about what career path I should take, I thought about how I loved singing and dancing. I decided to audition and eventually landed a spot in the company, leading me to debut as an idol.

Hwang Seong Bin: When I was 16, I was mesmerized Post Malone's stages, which eventually inspired me to take the path of an idol. I found solace in his music and it inspired me to pursue a path as an artist. I was deeply moved and wished to provide that comfort to others as well. That’s how I decide to have a career in music.

Q: What are your long-term goals as a group?

Hwang Seong Bin: With all six of us in the group, I want to leave a lasting impression that 82MAJOR is a cool group that others aspire to become.

Yoon Ye Chan: As a long-term goal, I wish to be our own producer for our albums, instead of receiving demos from other producers. We got two producers, the third one is on the way, so, I hope we can make our own albums soon.

Kim Do Gyun: Also, we want to create music that is distinctly our own colour and present it to the public.

Q: Do you have a message that you want to leave for your fans?

Hwang Seong Bin: Thank you so much for supporting us. You are the reason for our existence. We love you! ❤ ❤ ❤

Yoon Ye Chan: All of us have the same mind and heart. Thank you so much to all our fans. We are reading all of your comments and watch all the TikTok videos that you uploaded. We love you guys too! ❤

Park Seok Joon: To our international fans, I hope to see you in person someday through a tour. We will work our best and try to make that happen.

Thank you Great M Entertainment and Helix Publicity for the invitation.

Watch 82MAJOR 'Sure Thing' MV here!

youtube

Watch 82MAJOR 'FIRST CLASS' MV here!

youtube

*photos courtesy of Great M Entertainment

Don’t forget to like, follow and subscribe to MY K-POP WIRE for more K-Pop interview, debut, comeback and event updates!

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#82MAJOR #에이티투메이저 #82MAJOR_ON #ON #Sure_Thing #FIRST_CLASS #MYKPOPWIRE #KPop #Interview #debut #Youtube

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mansplainmanipulatemalewife · 1 year

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a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

the character everyone gets wrong

for whichever fandom u wanna rant abt 😃👍 HTDJDJCJF

There's a couple questions and I have a lot of opinions so I'ma stick it under a the read more to avoid clogging everyone's dashes also I'll probably repurpose my whole ramble about Trant into an actual post with citations at some point its what he would want

A compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

This one is kind of tricky on account of everyone deserves the opportunity to switch and also like I don't want to push the misconception that bottoming = submission however:

very insistent that the body he's in needs to put things up his ass

clearly insecure and overcompensating

prefers to rely on rules and codes of honour instead of his own agency

becomes stressed when people behave unpredictably

Largely involved with understanding power dynamics, not dominating them (that would be Half-Light)

seemed pretty enthusiastic about Kim outclassing him

In conclusion: Authority is a bottom and a sub, someone get him some nice easy-to-follow instructions so he can feel useful without having to think and a consistently applied reward/discipline system that maybe includes whatever passes for bottoming when you're not a human person. You can't expect him to take the lead here he'll get too stressed about it.

The unpopular character you like and why more people should like them

Again, Authority. He's my silly little guy and if you don't love him I'm going to explode you with my mind.

Common fandom opinion everyone is wrong about

Idk if it counts as an opinion but. Jean's scars. Mostly people say they're from pox or acne but like. Jean would have been born in like '17-ish (depending when his birthday is) so his childhood would line up with the measles outbreak we were told occurred in the '20s. While that doesn't typically scar in itself, as a child who would have probably been minimally supervised in quarantine, it's not unlikely that they would have been self-inflicted as a result of scratching at the rash. That would also be compounded if he does in fact have dermatillomania, as I've seen a few people suggest. They look more like patches of severe discolouration than anything with any real texture in his art so it makes sense.

Character everyone is wrong about

Trant! He's not a moralist! A lot of the people who critisise him assume that he is, but there's nothing really supporting that idea. I think most likely he's just a very bland kind of upper/middle-class liberal - willing to acknowledge that the system isn't great but with a comfortable enough life to not be particularly invested in changing it.

Evidence:

while Jean does strike me as center-right (though disillusioned with the MI), he's probably not far enough along the spectrum to consider an actual centrist a lefty dink

While he doesn't consider himself a "traditional leftist", in a system that doesn't skew right like it does in the US that's pretty standard for liberals - in my experience they generally consider themselves pretty apolitical

Trant's involvement in the moralist questline is probably related to the fact that having a lot of information and passing it on to cops is his literal job it would be weird if he didn't agree to give you that information when asked

he declines to actually give an opinion on the MI and appears uncomfortable with being asked about it, so probably doesn't actually like them all that much

Trant has a history of inter-isolary travel, a young son, and no particular attachment to the Revacholian identity - when Le Retour comes the fact he won't stand with the people doesn't inherently mean he'll stand against the people, he's more likely to simply emigrate before the violence starts

That being said, many of the other criticisms of his character (especially in terms of how he reacts to other people's suffering) are very much valid and I do like seeing people engage with him as a morally complex character.

Speaking of which, especially in fic, there can be a tendency to portray him as just a happy, supportive, well-read guy with no real depth. Even in fics that do show him as having actual emotional needs there seems to be a lack of complexity, especially moral complexity, so it feels like he's just there as a narrative device rather than like... an actual character people care about and want to explore. It's just sad. Why is he always either a throwaway background character or flattened into bland wish-fulfillment to fit into tropes. It feels like barely anyone actually cares about him even when they're writing fic specifically about him.

#asks #I forgot to give authority eyes oops #i can't be bothered to actually proofread this it might be nonsense it's probably fine though?#disco elysium #authority #trant heidelstam #jean vicquemare #he's here also briefly he sucks so bad and I love him #i am definitely not throwing shade at any particular ships hahahahaha #its not my fault its one of my favourites and barely anyone writes them in a way that really feels compelling

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canmom · 2 years

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Animation Night 148: Aeni (애니)

Hi everyone! It’s that time of the week.

It’s been a good while since we covered Korean animation - or ‘aeni’, following the ‘anime’/‘donghua’ pattern - on Animation Night!

As you know, Korea has a lot of incredibly talented animators, but despite that the list of Korean animated films is fairly thin on the ground because South Korea is one of the major hotspots for animation outsourcing in the world, along with the Philippines. Nowadays, nearly all ‘American’ 2D animation is storyboarded in the States and then outsourced to South Korea for all the actual animation; occasionally the work gets passed further down the chain and ends up in North Korea as well.

Even so, there certainly are a number of original Korean animated films...

Korean animation was actually one of the first ‘animation from x country’ themes I wrote about on here, back on Animation Night 20. Back then, I talked about the impressive cyberpunk Sky Blue/Wonderful Days and the films of Lee Sung-Gang - the gentle fantasy of My Beautiful Girl Mari and the Miyazakiesque Yobi the Five-Tailed Fox. I also wrote a little about North Korea’s one major animation studio, SEK, and their war drama series Squirrel and Hedgehog. All those films are worth a look!

(A note on Sky Blue - much of the animation team that directed this movie would go on to create the impressive animation of Avatar: The Last Airbender and The Legend of Korra, American productions which allowed their Korean animators a much larger than usual degree of creative influence. More on them here and here from youtuber ‘The Canipa Effect’.)

Much later, on Animation Night 77 we had a look at one of the films of Yeon Sang-ho’s film Seoul Station, the animated zombie film which preceded his popular live action zombie film Train to Busan. But before he was a zombie guy, Yeon Sang-ho’s preferred mode was dark, violent animated dramas, beginning with The King of Pigs (돼지의 왕 Dwae-ji-ui wang, 2011). Which is one of our subjects for tonight...

Yeon Sang-ho was born at the end of the 70s, and found the ambition to direct animation while at school, collecting a lot of anime with particular inspiration from Miyazaki. He achieved his ambition towards the end of the 90s with short films like The Hell: Two Kinds of Life (지옥 두개 의 삶 Jiok Dugae ui Salm) in which two people are confronted with the afterlife by an angel, and Love Is Protein (사랑은 단백질), in which fast food is unexpectedly delivered by anthropomorphic animals. You can watch ten minutes of The Hell here on Youtube with engsubs, but the quality is kind of terrible! Still, we can see some of the techniques Sang-ho was using at this time - quite a bit of rotoscoping. Love Is Protein is also available on youtube, though sadly sans subtitles.

The King of Pigs sees the adult reunion of an impulsive murderer Kyung-min with his former classmate Jong-suk. In their childhood, the boys were the ‘pigs’ at the bottom of the class hierarchy - but their fortunes changed when a third boy Kim Chul joined the group, who became known as the ‘King of Pigs’. But something happened to him, which Kyung-min now intends to reveal...

Like Yeon Sang-ho’s other animated films, it uses a realist style inspired by Satoshi Kon and the manga of Minoru Furya, mixing traditional animation and cel-shaded CG that pushes against the limit of its tiny budget. Nevertheless, the film was noted for its impactful, uncompromising depictions of pain, cruelty, and class, and brought international attention to Sang-ho, sending him to film festivals and giving him the chance to make more films.

Sang-ho described the film as drawing from real experiences of sitting by and witnessing bullying at his school, and even put himself in the film as a silent background character. He’d continue this approach with his next film, thirty minute The Window, based on his time in mandatory military service; then his next full-length film was The Fake (사이비 Saibi) about a cult leader challenged by a social outcast. We’ll talk more about that one down the line...

Tonight, at about the last minute, I’ve managed to get my hands on a copy of The King of Pigs. This one fits the harsh, violent model of Korean films about class in common with... well, most of what gets internationally popular I suppose, works like those Park Chan-wook and Bong Joon-ho, or Squid Game. So I’m quite looking forward to it.

Then, for a change of pace, we have Ghost Messenger.

This is perhaps aeni at its most anime, stylistically as well as being full of nods to anime from Haruhi to Bakemonogatari - but it’s also about Korean traditions around death and folklore. The project, created by a studio called STUDIO ANIMAL, began as a cancelled phone game, which goes some way to explaining why the narrative centres on a possessed phone! Since then, it evolved through several formats, initially an OVA and then a movie series.

The story concerns psychopomps called Ghost Messengers whose job is to fetch spirits who refuse to go to the world of the dead. One of these guys, Kang Lim ends up imprisoned in a ‘Soul Phone’ used to capture ghosts, and guess what, it ends up in the hands of a hoodie-wearing blue-haired boy with strong psychic powers. But this means Kang Lim and his new companion are well placed to face a new threat manifesting demons and destabilisng the whole thing.

I’m not entirely sure what to expect from Ghost Messenger, but the wiki article is endearingly enthusiastic and it seems like it’s been something of a long-term passion project for its creators. And it’s definitely got some pretty stylish designs coming from that Korean folklore angle.

youtube

And for another, very different dimension we have 소중한 날의 꿈, Sojoonghan Nalui Ggoom (2011) which translates literally as Dream of a Precious Day but in English has the slightly odd title Green Days: Dinosaur and I. This coming of age story calls to mind the films of Hosoda, with elaborate traditional animation on paper and a kagenashi look. It sounds like it was a hell of a project, with the production spanning 11 years under the co-direction of Ahn Jae-hoon and Han Hye-jin.

The story follows anxious high school girl Yi-rang, growing up at a gender-segregated school in a small town in the 1970s. She’s struggling with the pressures of life and competition with her peers, socially and in running, intimidated by the pretty and poetic transfer student Soo-min. But then enters a boy called Cheol-soo, an aspiring astronaut, and their awkward first romance begins to change her outlook. It seems to be a largely low-key, slice of life sort of film, with (once again) a realist approach to animation against detailed backgrounds depicting the 70s rural village.

This film seems to have generally flown under the radar, never gaining a large audience nor much international attention. But the Korea Times is full of praise, and it made it to the Annecy shortlist - so let’s give it a look in!

Animation Night 148 will be beginning at twitch.tv/canmom - going live now, films to start in about 20 minutes! The watch order will be Green Days, then King of Pigs and wrapping up with Ghost Messenger - hopefully that will balance the vibes without going out on a huge downer. Hope to see you there!

#animation night #korean animation #aeni

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bcbdrums · 2 years

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(Not the same anon) You just made me realize that they actually gave Drakgo that development of letting Drakken and Shego be apart/ grow away from each other and then coming back to each other at the end.

And about Kim and Ron.

Even though I am a Kim/Ron shipper I pretty much agree with almost everything you said:

There is some degree of unspoken codependency between Kim and Ron and this gets explored in a see episodes (like a sitch in time, grudge match) but it doesn’t get further than that does it?

And Kim, I’ve discussed this before, but it’s 100% true.

She doesn’t have any identity of her own, it seems her identity is “the girl who saves the world, the one who can do anything” and even Ron questioned her about this “anything, even fail”.

And this is something I’ve seen that I find it funny, but it indirectly made me aware of it.

1/14

Whew! All righty, there's a lot to get into here! First of all, thanks for the ask!!!

I think in the end, the characters people love the most are those characters who are flawed. And if not the characters themselves, those who face a natural hardship. But in the end if the characters aren't deep, even that hardship won't hold our interest.

Look at a character like Bruce Wayne/Batman. We're so deeply drawn to him because he is never gonna be fixed. If the man were to resolve his issues, we would lose interest. Or, take the example of when many TV shows reach their end: they end with a marriage or birth. It's as if once characters have achieved their ideal happily ever after, there's no more story to tell. There is of course, but it's that deep relational growth that hooks us. That's why romance/intimate friendship dominates in fiction.

In the case of Drakgo, like you said, they were given a chance to be separated and then come back together. Now, the writers failed to show us that reconciliation onscreen (and to whoever sent me an ask about that in particular, I haven't forgotten! I have a very full askbox.) But Drakken and Shego are developed enough throughout the show with quirks, flaws, and other hardships already faced, that we can make some reasonable guesses about how they come back together. And write some great fanfic, too!

I personally have never been a fan of 'going to the extreme' in fanfic. It often comes across as just glorifying something unsavory. For example, a fic in which Sherlock is kidnapped and let's politely call it 'abused' in a variety of graphic ways is not selling character development for me. eMoTiOnAl DaMaGe is development, people may cry, and so on and so forth. But in the end? Those types of fics are just those in which the writer/reader wants an extremely heavy emotional connection of whatever form suits them, and they're kind of...'one size fits all'? Change the character names/settings and you can throw them in any fandom basically. Copy-paste. All that to say, any fic where Kim is suddenly out on the streets just doesn't sell 'Kim Possible' to me. Everything you explained so very well boils down to the fact that none of that is in character. Her family disowning her? Ron failing her? It would have to be an extremely skilled author to convince me of any of that, but I just can't see it happening. If it's out of character, it's out of character. That's all there is to it.

Now let's look at the format for nearly every episode: [Villain] commits [crime] and Kim and Ron must stop them while Ron deals with [comedic side-plot of the week]. That's basically the show. But in this way, Ron becomes the character we fell in love with due to his facing various trials in life. And I think because of this development, because we're allowed to see so many of Ron's private moments, his devotion to Kim means all the more and when we root for Kim/Ron, it really feels like we're rooting for Ron. Every example you gave... If there had even been half as many moments where the tables were turned... Kim going across the world for Ron, Kim giving up a job for Ron's sake... We never see that. And thus we just don't feel the depth of their relationship on her end of it. She just isn't developed, and yet, is established just well enough that she's kind of in this...limbo, where it's hard to do anything with her. It's ironically easier to do something with background characters such as Tara, who are given a personality but overall are a blank slate. There's enough to go on to do something believable and in-character. But with Kim we have too much and not enough.

One of my favorite Kim moments is actually in yet another Ron-development-heavy episode, A Very Possible Christmas (Ron and Drakken stranded together... I'd watch an hour of that!). But when Kim checks every escape pod and Ron isn't in any of them? We see her cry. And we see a brief moment of real vulnerability between her and her mom. The show does have some few and far between moments like that which give her a bit more depth. Another example is her barely-controlled anger when Bonnie kisses Ron. Those are the gems we need to look for in terms of who is Kim on a deeper level. And while overall their development is mostly in regards to their relationship with each other, Ron still gets all of the individual development while Kim gets...basically zero. She did grow between the four seasons, as you said, but not much.

I personally ignore the Kim-hate and thus can't actually say what any of it is, excepting the little you mentioned. I personally do not see anything to hate? I can't hook onto her season one behavior as anything to dislike because I can't separate myself from knowing that the writers were still figuring out the characters. It's much more interesting to think about Kim’s behavior as a fourteen year old's pubescent emotions toward her bestie/crush than so-called mistreatment of him. And any of Ron's low moments I feel can't be used as justification since he always learns from them by the end of the episode and genuinely grows. All these stories you mention... They're the sort of thing I never click, because they're just so blatantly out of character. Not saying people can't write what they want, but it holds zero interest for me. I scroll past. And all those Ron-with-girl or Ron-harem fics... Let’s face it. Those are just to see the nerdy guy get the hot girl. Plain and simple. Probably writers projecting in many cases. People can write whatever they want, but yeah... Just another...one size fits all, copy-paste sort of fic sitch.

The irony in thinking about all those fics is, the greatest 'punishment' for Kim or Ron simply would be being apart from one another. They've never had to do that. Ron says it in So the Drama: he spent one summer away from her. Since Pre-K, they've always been together. He goes on family vacations with her, eats dinner at her house, spends Christmas there even though it's not his holiday. They ARE inseparable and that's why Sitch in Time's plan was so brilliant, AND So the Drama. Only thing in the latter Drakken could have done better was also create a syntho-hottie to distract Ron. But no one ever considers the Ron factor~

Kim and Ron can be separated in college and have a long-distance relationship without horrible things happening, as you say. They can just be normal and in that find character development. Whether they break up or not, the best thing for them would be time apart. They'll have the greatest chance at long-term success together if they have that opportunity to grow individually. It's not saying they're doomed to fail if they don't have time apart. Just that it would be good for them. And even if they did break up for awhile, I can never see them not being best friends.

Thinking about it more, Kim does get some minor issues in the show. Not wanting to be mentored by a janitor. Being too busy to honor all her commitments. Having to get past embarrassment. But somehow the show never treats them with the same depth as Ron's things. But it feels like she never actually learns from them, since beating up the bad guys comes first. And as you say, it always comes back to her being the girl who can do anything. I do truly wish she'd had more depth in the show, but overall that wasn't the point. It was about a girl version of James Bond/Indiana Jones.

Now, can an action adventure series with protagonists who just beat up the bad guys endure? Oh yes. "In 1972 a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court by a crime they didn't commit..." But there again, in the case of The A-Team those characters had some very distinct development. Where our female version of those beloved guys, Kim, just doesn't. A college story that really digs into who she is besides the girl who can do anything would appeal greatly. Just like you said, putting her in an environment where she's just one of the crowd. A story like that would be challenging to write, but it feels like the sort of thing that should go right alongside a story of Ron being on his own. I think that's where I would take it, personally. And to satisfy my own interests, Kim's growing up would probably start with Ron breaking up with her to be with Yori. Not maliciously of course, just a natural course of events. And then Kim would find one thing in her life that she cannot solve, and that's the first step into growing up. The ideas were already burning in my head, Anon, but you're stirring them up!

I cannot let go of Clean Slate because of Drakgo. Was Kim weird in that ep? Oh yes. But I watch everything through a Drakgo lens soooooooooooooo... It's a pretty good ep for Drakgo character development. Aren't they all, though? ;D Speaking of...since you are so thoughtful a person, have you any thoughts on my fave two characters?

#kim possible #ron stoppable #meta #ask answer #drakgo #drakken #shego #yori #kimxron #kim x ron #kimron #kim/ron #kim and ron

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randomvarious · 11 months

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Today's compilation:

25 Hard-to-Find Motown Classics, Vol. 3 1986 R&B / Soul

Alright, folks, I can't tell you what next week will bring, but rest assured that this is my last Motown comp for this particular week. And while I've been having a whole lot of fun with some surface-skimming chart-toppers over the past couple days, today, to close out this little Motown stretch that I've been on, we change course by digging a bit deeper, and getting to know some much more underrated soul and R&B gems from the enormous catalog of this indispensable juggernaut of black popular music.

I really don't even know where to begin with this final and third dispatch from this 25 Hard-to-Find Motown Classics series, but I suppose we can start with the most well-known song of the entire bunch, one-hit-wonder The Contours' "Do You Love Me," a super catchy and dancy bit of R&B from 1961 that featured the infectiously passionate shrieks of lead singer Billy Gordon. Motown owner Berry Gordy actually intended for this song to go to The Temptations, who themselves had not scored a hit yet either, but when Gordy wanted them to come and record the song, he was unable to locate them. So, he enlisted the struggling Contours to perform it to his liking instead; and they obliged, managing to net a #3 hit on the Billboard Hot 100 chart with it.

A number of much less successful Contours singles would then end up following that one too, like 1966's terrific and uptempo "Just a Little Misunderstanding," which didn't appear on any of the group's studio albums, and was their first hit to not feature Billy Gordon on lead, either. Instead, they used Joseph Stubbs, brother of The Four Tops' own frontman Levi Stubbs, and it would turn out to be the only time that Joseph would actually lead a Contours single, as he'd vacate from the group and Motown altogether soon after. But did I mention that this song that only made it to #88 on the Hot 100 was also composed by Stevie Wonder and that he played drums on it too?😯

Now, there's so many other very high-quality tunes in this collection that I could extensively go on about here, from Kim Weston's underappreciated and heart-poured "Love Me All the Way," to a trio of songs that showcase the tremendous, high-pitched tenderness of Eddie Holland, to the Isley Brothers' "Behind a Painted Smile," which never actually managed to chart in the US; but I can't go anywhere today without gushing over this album's closer, "I Wouldn't Change the Man He Is," by the mononymously named Blinky. This lady's biggest claim to fame ended up being that she supplied the lead female vocal to the theme song for the 1970s sitcom Good Times, but this debut single of hers, which was actually written by none other than Ashford & Simpson, is really something else. It comes with wonderfully dramatic drum fills that accompany her own dynamic and very powerful voice. Blinky would unfortunately end up falling through the cracks at Motown, but she totally slayed on this underrated, rollercoastering soul nugget here 😍.

So, this is really one of the greatest Motown comps of all time, as far as I'm concerned. It's nowhere near being a cheat-code release that's made up some of the label's most popular hits, and instead digs into the vaults in order to assemble a batch of largely underheard gold.

Highlights:

Kim Weston - "Take Me In Your Arms" Kim Weston - "Love Me All the Way" Velvelettes - "A Bird in the Hand (Is Worth Two in the Bush)" Tammi Terrell - "Come On and See Me" Shorty Long - "Devil With the Blue Dress" Edwin Starr - "Agent Double O Soul" Edwin Starr - "(S.O.S.) Stop Her On Sight" Eddie Holland - "Leaving Here" Eddie Holland - "Just Ain't Enough Love" Eddie Holland - "Candy to Me" The Isley Brothers - "This Old Heart of Mine (Is Weak for You)" The Isley Brothers - "Behind a Painted Smile" Detroit Spinners - "Truly Yours" The Contours - "Just a Little Misunderstanding" The Contours - "Do You Love Me" Marv Johnson - "Why Do You Want to Let Me Go" The Elgins - "Stay in My Lonely Arms" The Elgins - "Put Yourself in My Place" Blinky - "I Wouldn't Change the Man He Is"

#r&b #r & b #soul #soul music #oldies #music #60s #60s music #60's #60's music #70s #70s music #70's #70's music

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soul-dwelling · 2 years

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you mentioned in another answer that you find a lot of flaws in soul eater. could you expand on what you dislike about it?

Spoiler warning for the entire series:

How it handles fanservice, often relying on fetishizing underage characters (Chapter 113 and its treatment of the girl characters in particular; Meme's handling in NOT)

Some plot drags after Crona leaves the DWMA and even into the final arc on the Moon. It felt like the story was spinning its wheels (some parts of the Baba Yaga Castle arc, some of the Moon arc, the stupid shower scene with Kim and Kid, whatever that sky whale chapter was doing).

Soul Eater NOT struggled to locate a plot and didn't seem to know whether it wanted a series-wide plot or just to be episodic for worldbuilding and gag chapters

Lack of back story and worldbuilding (culture and origins of witches; Immortal Clan and why Free is the last one we've seen outside of supplemental content; what were Vajra, Pushka, and others like before they died)...until [SPOILER] came along and gave a lackluster, ham-fisted back story that potentially contradicts what was already defined in canon and does so for the sake of forcing a connection between [SPOILER] and Soul Eater that does disservice to both series. (This only gets worse when you re-read older chapters of Soul Eater and look at older supplemental supposedly "canon" content, all of which got contradicted so badly by [SPOILER] that it opened more questions that will lead to disappointing answers. When fans are coming up with more engaging back story and worldbuilding for witches, souls, Lord Death, etc, there is a problem with the original work...)

Speaking of [SPOILER]: no, Kid does not look like [SPOILER]. I don't see it, not any more than any of Ohkubo's characters suffer from a "same face" problem as any other character. This isn't helped by how inconsistent Ohkubo's overall oeuvre is--which is not a flaw: his style changed, that's fine, but stop acting like you could compare how [SPOILER] looks at the end of [SPOILER] to how Kid looks at any point in any manga and say they look similar. (That also opens up questions about Asura, but any more discussion about how bad a manga [SPOILER] was and I will be at this all night.)

Speaking of the supplemental content: it felt like it was repeating the same gags or were cliche or really should've taken what worked in them and used them better in the manga to progress characters. An audio drama with Tsubaki acting like Black Star to try to jog back his memory when he has amnesia? I wish that had been a chapter. Some Soul x Maka hints? Why weren't those in the manga? Then again, you have a plot like Maka drinking a love potion, and an underdeveloped fight involving Poseidon's lance, that are problematic in the former and underdeveloped in the latter.

In retrospect, some stakes felt low. (I appreciate that so few of the main and supporting characters are killed off. But I wonder whether, in a re-write, having more deaths would reinforce that this is still a series about Lord Death, the concept of dying, and what happens to the dead. And what deaths we did get come so late in the story that, while they hurt, also feel like a last-minute instance rather than a logical conclusion, or were of characters we barely knew at all and whose personalities and relationships with other characters were so underdeveloped that, while they hurt as much as the deaths of anyone else, aren't as effective as suits the story.)

Personally, for me, I don't think Ohkubo's manga style (B Ichi era/beginning of Soul Eater, later Soul Eater, end of Soul Eater/all of Soul Eater NOT) is as memorable, appealing, or outstanding as what BONES did with the first anime.

Speaking of the anime: The original arc that wrapped up the first anime (when it diverged from the manga's plot) could not keep focus on any one character very long (we keep following Maka running for episodes, the Kid versus clowns story is a fine fighting episode but leads to an anticlimactic conclusion for Lord Death and Eibon). And that's not getting into the good and bad parts of the "punch of courage" ending. And, while this is not the fault of the series, it has opened up the interminable "I want a Soul Eater reboot!" demand from people who do not realize how bad of a monkey's paw wish that is, not only considering adapting Chapter 113 but also having to acknowledge the prequel material.

And Soul Eater NOT, as an anime, is enjoyable for me--but in addition to the aforementioned fanservice problems and lack of consistent plot progression, the series suffered from disappointing visuals and animation.

(This isn't a flaw, but since I'm mentioning the anime: I can't speak to many problems with the acting or casting in the Japanese and English versions--minus, of course, Mignogna--or the music. Just about all the acting and casting is phenomenal, just about all the music is phenomenal and doesn't come off as repetitive or overstaying its welcome.)

With more and more time, the Book of Eibon "you look like what you find attractive in the opposite gender" conceit gets more and more problematic.

And Ragnarok's annoying gags regarding Crona's gender and pulling up their outfit were distasteful and infuriating.

There's next-to-nothing I could criticize as a flaw or something I dislike with the fandom in general. Granted, there have been individuals in the fandom whom I find abhorrent (when you see some clown putting hate symbols onto anime characters, like those fucking red hats, I don't understand how you can't have anything but contempt for such inhuman people).

I wish there had been more Tom and Jerry-esque shenanigans with Blair in her cat form, like how she tricked the Flying Dutchman in the monster factory arc. Hell, I've seen enough fan works do more with Blair as a "mother figure" role or just giving her more to do than "cat who tricks people" and "fanservice checklist," and she felt under-utilized in the manga.

The Death Scythes who aren't named Spirit and maybe Marie, Justin, and Tezca felt under-developed.

(I haven't played through enough of the video games to give a fair assessment as to their flaws.)

Team B (Kilik, Harvar, the Pots, etc) were underutilized and underdeveloped. Ox got off better--but it required a forced relationship with Kim, and that's all the more bothersome when NOT had a more engaging relationship between Kim and Jackie.

SquareEnix should've made more merch and other productions. But that's less of a flaw and more me being petty when it comes to promoting your product.

#spoiler #spoilers #long post

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fincrew · 5 days

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The Six Most Expensive Countries For Car Ownership

Buying a car is a costly endeavor, which explains why many people complain about the cost. Desired vehicles, in particular, are often quite expensive. The uncertain economic climate exacerbates the problem we're in right now. In Malaysia, motoring is not for the faint of heart - especially if you're into brand new cars. The further problem is that the country imposes some of the highest road taxes on automobiles globally. Recent car sales and parts sales for motor vehicles contribute the most to collecting import and excise duties. Then again, is Malaysia the most expensive country for buying and operating a car? Continue reading to find out.

Most Expensive Countries To Own a Car

Cuba There have been many positive changes in Cuba, at least on paper. Before 2011, it was nearly impossible to buy or sell. The island has been opened up to car manufacturers due to a tentative deregulation plan. Many popular brands and cars are available today, making it theoretically possible to buy and own one. Cuba has, unfortunately, remained an expensive country for automobile ownership. The second-hand market remains unaffected by the liberation, so many drivers cannot afford to buy used cars. The high cost of most cars is due to centralized price-setting and various taxes. Kitts and Nevis No doubt that this is a beautiful paradise on earth. As far as cars are concerned, St. Kitts and Nevis are more like a private hell. The costs of taxes are staggeringly high, making buying a car here one of the most expensive options. Perhaps only one positive aspect of this situation is that the island is tiny. Motorbikes and bicycles may be sufficient for your purposes. Brazil Car prices are ridiculously high in Brazil because of high taxes, high labor costs, and limited raw material supplies. You might end up doing some window shopping for a Brazilian-made car, like a locally manufactured Volkswagen. Many people consider importing cars because the available selection is poor. However, importing a vehicle can result in you being charged up to 100 percent of its value! There is also a lot of paperwork needed with autos, and fuel is heavily taxed! North Korea It is unlikely that many will or plan to buy a car in North Korea, but we would certainly have our hands full if we did. It may be possible for some government officials to get their hands on a Merc-copied Pyongyang 4.10, but others may not be so lucky. The purchasers of older Russian Volgas might find themselves dismayed to discover that their parts have not been imported in more than 20 years. You may want to take precautions if you own an automobile made outside of the country. Kim Jong Il reportedly got stuck behind a Japanese car in a traffic jam and ordered all Japanese vehicles to be confiscated at the time. Malaysia In Malaysia, car import policies protect home-grown automakers, particularly Proton. It is considered luxurious to drive a Toyota Camry or Honda Accord in this country. Malaysia has a unique situation when it comes to car prices. Here, even the most standard models sell at luxury car prices, making Malaysia the second most expensive country for car buyers. Even the least affluent Malaysians can afford to drive a Proton, which is not prohibitively expensive to own. Singapore Almost everyone knows that Singapore leads the list of the most expensive countries to buy a car. The truth is: Only 15% of Singaporeans can afford a car. Some car prices here are insane, such as the $135,988.00 Toyota Corolla, almost identical to the price of a new Scion FR-S. Even a Volkswagen Golf costs around $90,000 here. Those vehicles sell for about a third of that price in the UK. Cars in Singapore are so expensive because of their small size and dense population. Several measures have been set by the government of Singapore to regulate car ownership and use due to fears that there will be traffic jams if there are too many vehicles. The Land Transport Department also imposes a Certificate of Entitlement (COE), quotas for transport, road taxes, and electronic road charges, in addition to mandatory registration of vehicles. Despite Singapore's expensive car ownership, the country's public transportation system is among the world's best. The bottom line is that car ownership isn't always necessary, even for high-ranking executives. Read the full article

#CarOwnership #RoadTax

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raymondvelez · 3 months

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Poultry

Kim and I have been talking about meeting up for breakfast on a Saturday for what seems like forever. So, when I caught myself sitting in a booth at Golden House Restaurant & Pancake House sipping black coffee and reading the weekend edition of the Wallstreet Journal while I waited for Kim to find parking, I knew my Saturday morning was off to an unfamiliar but very promising start. I hardly ever wake up early enough to stop by before starting my shift at the bank across the street; but the few times that I had, I really enjoyed my scrambled eggs and especially adored how stuck in time this particular diner was. In my opinion, this was one of the best breakfast spots in the entire Uptown neighborhood. And I really appreciated my view of Bridgeview Bank from where I was currently sitting. My view was almost adjacent with the window that I constantly gaze out of when I daydream at my desk.

Kim showed up a lot quicker than I expected. But it made sense since Lake Shore Drive was practically deserted on Saturday mornings. Kim always looks pretty. She can just have her hair pulled back in a wavy ponytail with no makeup on, and it’s still blatantly obvious that she’s an attractive young woman. But when Kim pushed through the door, instead of me flagging her down, I just stared at her. I hadn’t checked out Kim in more than a year or so. I guess seeing her almost every day and us constantly texting had made me take her for granted if I’m being honest. But before our eyes could lock, I was taken back by how sweet she looked with her jet-black hair down and her lips painted red. She also was wearing a tight, black blouse and black leggings that would make most men take a second look at her figure when they felt she wasn’t looking. It was almost as if Kim was treating our meetup like it was a date. I just figured we’d get some breakfast and chat about work drama before we waisted another Saturday afternoon at a bank that should be closed the whole weekend, and not just on Sundays.

I stood up and greeted Kim with a quick hug that was followed up with Kim firmly planting a kiss on my lips before we sat down across from each other.

“You got here fast.” I said.

“There’s hardly any traffic on Lake Shore Drive on Saturdays.” Kim confirmed.

“I just got coffee. So we can order together.”

I thought about reaching over the table for her hand, but I didn’t. I don’t know why, but I was a little nervous. Which was weird because Kim was literally one of the few people on earth that I could be my true self around. Kim and I would talk about anything and everything for hours; and with no shortage of inside jokes and even more laughter. I guess her sex appeal she rarely sported caught my attention and now I was trying to come up with things I hadn’t said before.

“What are you gonna get?” Kim asked with her face hidden behind her menu.

“I’ma just get my usual omelet and hashbrowns with sausage and bacon on the side.”

“Are their pancakes good?” Kim asked.

“I haven’t had em. But it’s in their name so I can only imagine them being decent.” I explained.

Once the waitress came to our table, and Kim struggled to make a decision between pancakes and waffles, I was overwhelmed with regret for never being as present for Kim in the past as I could have. I found myself missing someone who was right in front of me.

“So what you got planned for the weekend?” Kim asked.

“Not much. Go home and fall asleep in front of the Cubs game.”

“That wouldn’t be the same Cubs you’ve yet to take me to would it?”

“Yes, those same Cubs. Matter fact, you wanna go today? They play at 1:20. If we count the vault early enough, we can make it to Wrigley by the third inning.”

“As tempting as that sounds, I can’t unfortunately.”

“Lemme guess, you need a babysitter. Leave her with your mom and tell her you’re going out with me. Hell, have your mom and the baby come with. We can make a day of it. I just need to go upstairs to my apartment and change really fast.”

“Look at you being so attentive. I appreciate the newfound enthusiasm, but I really can’t Los.”

“Why not?”

“Because after work I’m driving my daughter down to the Metropolitan Correctional Center to visit her father. Today’s his birthday and he asked to see her.” Kim explained.

I know that Kim was just being a good woman and doing the right thing when it came to motherhood. Because regardless of how things had played out between Kim and the father of her daughter, every father deserves to see their children. Especially on his birthday. But this didn’t stop me from feeling slightly annoyed. I recall numerous times when Kim was late or couldn’t show up to work because the so-called father of her child had either slapped Kim silly or stolen her car keys out of spite. In fact, I was the banker that helped Kim’s mother get approved for her Home Equity Line of Credit that was used on bail money and pointless lawyer fees. If anyone knew what I had to do to get that application approved, I’d be in jail right now with him.

“I thought you were done with him.” I said.

“Regardless if I want to be done with him or not, he’s still the father of my child, Los. You know that.”

“I know, Kim. I’m not questioning that. I just . . . I don’t know. Forget it.”

“I don’t know why you’re pouting, Los. You’re the one who switched up after we had sex. How do you think that made me feel? You didn’t make eye contact with me for like two weeks. If we didn’t work together, I doubt I would have ever heard from you again.” Kim explained.

“That’s not true.” I explained.

“Well, that’s how it felt. So stop acting jealous. It doesn’t look good on you.” Kim said as she moved her Coach bag off the table, placing it beside her so the waitress could set her food in front of her.

“I’m not jealous. And you’re right. I was distant after that night you came over. But I had just broken up with Marlen and you saying you loved me kind of threw me off. I felt so abandoned at that point in my life, I wasn’t ready to be loved by anybody. I was still kind of angry and bitter if I’m being honest.” I explained.

“Look, I know me telling you that was a lot. But I got caught up in us finally being alone uninterrupted and if I’m being honest, it was mostly rooted in how close we were before that. You’ve been nothing but a great friend to me; and we always had sexual tension, so once we finally spent the night together, I let the wine do most of my talking.” Kim explained.

“So you don’t love me. You just said it because you got caught up in the moment?” I asked.

“No. That’s not what I’m saying at all. I do love you. I just don’t know if I can allow myself to be in love with you.”

“That’s not how love works, Kim. You either love me or you don’t.”

“Los, I love you. But it’s clear you don’t love me. So I can’t approach you as anything more than a friend. And that’s okay. Cause you’re a great friend. Besides, the last thing I want to do is force anything between us. You’ve played a pivotal role in my life thus far. I’d be dumb to allow sex to come between one of the rarest bonds I’ve had in my entire life.”

This is one of the most uncomfortable conversations I’ve ever had with Kim. I mean if anything bad ever happened to Kim, I would be devasted. I’d be broken, actually. But despite knowing how much she meant to me, I wasn’t going to allow her beauty and our lust for one another confuse me to the point where I allowed myself to give in and get involved with a woman with so much baggage. I know Kim cares about me. There’s no denying that. And Lord knows I care about her too. But does she really love me? Or is she in love with the idea of getting involved with a man who can elevate her life? I’m not the richest banker in the world, but I’m definitely an upgrade when you compare me to her jailbird of a baby daddy.

“Los, what’s wrong?” Kim asked. “Hello? Are you spacing out again?

“No. I’m just processing this.” I replied.

Kim and I focused on what was on our plates and ate in much needed silence. We had said everything that needed to be said. There was no reason to ruin the mood any further. Sometimes you have to just accept the circumstances that come with the person that you love and not let it get in the way of enjoying whatever memories you can possibly accumulate. I really enjoy making Kim laugh over dinner and drinks at restaurants downtown while her mother babysits her daughter. Or giving her money to get her hair and nails done, even if I’m not always around to enjoy how beautiful she looks after they’re done. Kim and I are great together. There’s no denying that. Very rarely do you befriend a woman with pure intentions and find yourself caring enough for her that you’re willing to let her move in with you. And Kim moving in with me was definitely something that could have transpired if she didn’t come with a child fathered by someone who would look to make our lives miserable simply because she moved on with a better man. It wasn’t that I didn’t want my own family as much as I didn’t want to be responsible for someone else’s.

“How’s the bachelor life been treating you?” Kim asked as she cut through her pancakes.

“It’s going.” I replied.

“Do you need help finishing unpacking? Cause I’m not spending another night at your place until you’re done with that. Got me tripping me over boxes and shit.”

“You’re the one trying to be freaky in the kitchen.”

“You’re the one with the kitchen and the bedroom in the same room.” Kim responded.

“Don’t be downplaying my studio. It’s the not the biggest apartment, but for a gentrified SRO, it’s modern as hell and the location is amazing. Plus, it’s mine. I don’t gotta answer to nobody and I come and go as I please.”

“I’m just teasing, Pooh. It’s perfect for you. And you’re right. It’s very chic. Plus, the washer machine/dryer in the kitchen is a nice touch. I have to admit.”

I was a little annoyed that Kim was making fun of the size of my place. I’m usually pretty good at not taking myself too seriously, but she wasn’t complaining when she was coming over for dinner, wine and an uninterrupted night of peace. The night she came over, I even took the initiative to greet her at the door with a card and some MAC lipstick. And here she was, wearing the same lipstick I bought her for a man who spent more time making her life miserable than ever making it better. So of course I was a little annoyed.

“Has Marlen contacted you?” Kim asked.

“No.”

“Well ya’ll have only been broken up for what, six months? She’s going to reach out soon. Trust me.”

“I don’t want nor do I need her too. Once I break up with a woman, I never look back.” I explained.

“So you’re done, done?”

“Yeah. How many times do I gotta tell you? You saw how unhappy I was with her, why do you have such a hard time believing that?” I asked.

“I don’t know. Usually when couples break up, there’s always that period where both people are having a hard time letting go. That’s all. You don’t have to get so upset about it.”

“Ain’t nobody upset. I’m just trying to get you to understand that I don’t need her or anybody else for that matter. So I have no reason to return back to something I already spent so much time trying to fix.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No. Don’t do that.” I said.

“Do what?”

“That trying to act all timid shit because I just proved a point you ain’t want to hear. You’re not sorry. You’re just saying it to make me feel bad.”

“I’m not trying to be timid, Los. I was just trying to understand where you were coming from. That’s all.”

There’s nothing more frustrating than having a conversation with a woman and then she tries to flip it back on you, make you the bad guy, and make herself the scared little girl just because you made a valid point, and she now feels silly for trying to prove her point in the first place. Women do this all the time, and I gotta be honest, I was really disappointed to see Kim do it just now. It made me realize that no matter how cool Kim and I were, she would always revert to being a damsel in distress when it was to her benefit. But I’m supposed to believe that this girl loved me? She was in love with the idea of me. Not Los Cruz.

“How’s your daughter been?” I asked as I took a bite from a slice of bacon.

“Los, please don’t ask about my daughter unless you really care.” Kim said in a tone that I didn’t appreciate.

“What are you talking about? You know good and well I care about her.”

“Okay.”

“Just because I ain’t say I love you back, you’re going to act like everything else about me is disingenuous?” I asked.

“Why are you trying to argue with me so bad?” Kim asked.

“I’m not trying to argue with you. You’re the one making statements that have no truth to them.” I explained. “You’re going out of your way to argue with me.”

“Look, let’s just enjoy our breakfast. I have a long day ahead of me, and I didn’t come here with you to make it longer.”

Kim wasn’t being fair. But I knew no matter how hard I tried to prove my point, she would only see things for how she’s already decided to see them. We continued eating in silence until we eventually finished our plates. I made eye contact with our waitress until she came over to ask how we were doing. I handed the waitress my Amex and asked for the check as soon as she finished her question. There was no reason for me and Kim to utter another word to one another.

Once Kim inched her way out of the booth, she followed behind me and I got the door for her. I thought about grabbing her hand before we crossed the street, but like I had earlier, decided not to.

#prose #poetry #flash fiction #fiction #short story #prose poem #writing #author #indie author #aspiring author

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boysplanetrecaps · 9 months

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The Great Produce 48 Rewatch: Ep 3, Signal Song Performance + Start of Challenge Mission 1

Hello lovelies! When we left off with my Ultra Super Duper important Produce48 Rewatch Project, we had finished the grade reassignments and I did some number crunching. Now we'll dive into choosing the center for Nekkoya (WHO COULD IT BE???) and the performance itself, as well as the beginning of the first challenge mission. Woot!

Ok, we’re about 19:30 into episode 3. The next portion of the episode deals with the girls’ huge performance on MNET. First, they gather as a group, and sweet vocal coach Soyou comes out to tell them that they’re going to choose the center for the performance.

If you’re newish to Kpop, it’s worth knowing that when people say “center,” they mean the person who stands in the center for a lot of the performance. For most kpop performances, the performers take turns standing in the center, and the “center” is just the person who usually begins and ends the performance in the middle, and/or takes center position at key points. A center is usually chosen for their looks, charisma, and dance ability. When people say someone just simply “is” the center of a group, they mean that this member tends to take center position for most of their performances. For example, Nayeon could be considered the “center” of Twice, Jungkook could be considered the “center” of BTS, Hyunjin is probably the “center” of Stray Kids, Kai is probably the “center” of Exo, and Irene is generally considered the “center” of Red Velvet.

In many cases, the other members of a group can absolutely steal focus from the center. Just think of Sana stealing focus in Twice’s performances of Cheer Up. In the case of this huge performance of Nekkoya, however, the center position is even more important, because during this performance, the girls never change position. The center is in the center the whole darn time. Also, as the show points out, the trainees who got the “center” position in the first two seasons of PD101 ended up debuting in the final lineup (though neither currently dominates the Kpop landscape -- Choi Yujeong is a member of the criminally underrated Weki Meki, and Lee Daehwi is a member of the not quite as underrated but still underrated AB6IX.) (Please note that this is also a WKMK stan account.)

Anyway.

How will the center be chosen for Nekkoya? By trainee vote! And the 14 members of Class A are each going to do a one minute performance to try to convince the other girls to vote for them as center.

We see Bae Eunyeong from Idol School -- the mint Chewing Gum girl -- saying that she’s taking the responsibility of choosing seriously since the person she vouches for will probably debut soon.

First, we see Lee Chaeyeon, future soloist. Kim Choyeon (fire eyes girl) is cheering for her, because apparently Chaeyeon helped all the A-class girls learn the dance, despite apparently being sick when they got to learn with the teacher! In other words, she learned the dance better from watching the video than they did from working with the teacher. That’s Chaeyeon for you. We see a few seconds of her dancing, and she does great, of course. She never had a chance, though, because her face is slightly imperfect. I mean, so's mine. So's everyone's. IDK.

Next is Kim Shihyeon, future Everglow member. She comes out in a gray “F-class” shirt, queueing a flashback to when she was on season one of PD101 and was placed initially in F.

She introduces herself as “Kim Shiyhyeon from class F” and then sings, very nicely, while dancing lightly. She sounds great, though we only hear a second or two. Also, live vocals don’t matter much for this particular performance. Still, I love that she went with what she had -- a pair of pipes and a great backstory.

Honda Hitomi dances energetically, adding a little cartwheel-flippy thing at the end.

Ko Yujin, the “Hyuna lookalike”, immediately drops into a split and does a bunch of other dance moves straight out of Roll Deep or something.

It’s all good, but it’s obviously the wrong vibe for the song, so I’m not sure if she actually though this would win her the vote or if she just wanted to show everyone what she was working with.

Little Kang Damin, future member of Queenzeye, does a pretty straightforward performance of the song, using a headset mic, singing and dancing. She says, “I want the center position if the opportunity is given.” I think she knows that she’s not likely to get it, not with both Gaeun and Sakura standing in line in front of her.

Damin’s labelmate, the flat tummied Hwang Soyeon, dances without singing, adding in a kind of weird windmill-of-arms at the end. I guess her enthusiasm carried her away.

Little Lee Haeun, the “mini-Chungha” girl, also does a pretty straightforward performance of the song, using a headset mic. And like Damin, she does a great job, likely knowing she won’t get chosen but just wanting to show her skills.

When Ah Yujin steps up, the editors play weird inspirational music, and splice in comments from other girls about how pretty Yujin is and how she would make a good center. We get a longish clip of her in the rehearsal space, totally overthinking what would make a good audition performance. I mean, most of the other girls are just literally performing the song that they are auditioning to be the center of, doing the moves that they will be doing as center. Just do that, Yujin, you silly goose.

We finally get to see her performance: she begins by saying “It’s dry in here. I hope to quench you all! Drink it up!” I had to pause the video because I cringed so hard I lost the use of my eyes and ears for a while. When I tuned back in, she was dancing -- what looked like original choreography -- and saying, in Japanese, “I love you all!” I’m obviously not the target market for this, because apparently at least some of the girls found this charming, and she got some votes.

Next up is THE SAKURA, who Kim Shihyeon says “is so pretty, she doesn’t even have to do anything.” But of course, she has done the most -- she changed the Korean lyrics to something befitting the moment. She’s worried she’ll mispronounce it and people won’t understand her “sincerity.” She lays out all these pieces of paper on the stage, then begins her performance. My Korean is pretty limited, but the show put her new lyrics up on screen, and I was able to use my translator app to find out that she’s singing, “It was hard, lonely days, but let’s get through it together.”

She does a perfectly adequate job of singing and dancing, then picks up her sign. It says “Center -- Nekkoya 🩷” (the center position is mine). It’s very slightly misspelled, which is kind of cute, as it shows that she did it by herself.

Last up -- that we see -- is Lee Gaeun, who sings and dances charmingly, adding in some Japanese at the end.

We don’t see any part of the performance of Kim Na Young (future Lightsum), Takahashi Juri (future Rocket Punch), Yabuki Nako (the one who moved up from F) or Na Go Eun (future Purple Kiss).

Soyou comes out to tell the girls that per the voting, there are only a few remaining candidates:

Lee Gaeun:

They appreciated that she spoke Japanese and liked her witty new lyrics.

And Sakura:

They appreciated how much effort she put into it.

Soyou reveals that actually, so far, they’re tied! So they need to have a final vote between the two.

In the end, Sakura wins. Gaeun smiles that cute anime smile of hers, and Sakura begins to cry.

Gaeun hugs her and says “congratulations” in Japanese to her. Sakura apologizes profusely, saying that Gaeun’s performance was much better than hers (I mean, it probably was) and Gaeun comforts her, still speaking Japanese. Of course, in being the kind of person who would tell Sakura that she, Sakura, is the perfect person for the center, Gaeun is just sort of proving that she herself is the perfect person to be center.

Everyone applauds and cries, including someone sitting in my chair. We hear Jo Yuri’s voice saying, “It warmed my heart. Even though they’re rivals, I could really feel that they’re already friends.” Kwon Eunbi says, “It didn’t seem to be about who won or lost. It was more like, ‘We won together.’” Choi Yena says, “I don’t know why, but I was happy. My heart grew that much bigger.” Sakura says, “I looked around and realized I had so many friends.”

To cut through the treacle, the always squinting Yu Minyoung (mint polka dots, fell from B to A) says, “I’m a little worried that people might only see Sakura. She’s so pretty, otoke?!?”

Time passes, and now it’s time to film the big Nekkoya performance, on the big diamond shaped stage.

Kim Da Hye asks Kim Cho Yeon and Goto Moe what their ending pose will be, then demonstrates her own -- a spot on impression of the classic out-of-breath, earnest smile you always see. It’s really funny, so check it out at about 34:30 in.

The A girls go up on stage, and the other girls are jealous, especially the ones who had been in A but were moved down. The girls in F are taking it hardest, because they’re not even allowed to go up on stage.

The other girls notice that gavely-voice Noe is starting to tear up, and they try to comfort her.

She interviews, “To be honest, I’m neither good at singing nor good at dancing. I couldn’t even be on stage.” Other girls are really sad, too.

A few of the girls -- I think it’s that YGK+ model Ahn Ye Won and the show's favorite punching bag Shin Suhyun -- call the other girls together, saying “no crying! Come here!” and they all end up doing a cheer together.

As it turns out, they’re dancing on the floor right in front of the stage, so they actually are kind of visible.

You can see the distribution of the groups -- the pink A girls are in the center, flanked by a stripe of orange B girls, with the yellow C girls and Green D girls at the corners and the back. Gotta say, I’d rather be that D girl in the left corner than the D girl all the way in the back.

On the day of the actual recording, they do one run-through, and the judges notice that they all look terrified instead of happy. (Soyou calls out Damin for always making the same cutesy face -- pretty funny.) The judges encourage them to show more cheerfulness in their performance, and they try again.

Their actual performance is a hit. At this point, I’m good not hearing the song again for a while, but here is the full length performance if you want to see it. It’s kind of interesting what happens -- Sakura is the center for the first part, and then the second half of the stage comes out and Gaeun is sort of the center for that group.

But as I think I said in my Boys Planet recaps, I never really understood the appeal of these super huge dance numbers. You can only see the people the cameraman and editors choose to show you. It might be different if you were there live...? I don't know. I understand that it's a tradition on these shows and all that, but it never really captures my interest.

Sakura interviews that if even one person hadn’t been on stage, it wouldn’t have been the same, that all of them came together to do the performance. Not sure how she’d know that if she has her back to literally all of them. But seriously, she really has the gift of diplomacy, doesn’t she?

When they’re done recording the performance, the girls are stunned to find out that finally they’ll be meeting the alleged host of the show, Lee Seungki! He comes out to strains of electric guitar and lots of applause. Future Kep1er’s Dayeon says, “He’s really handsome. Chincha chincha chincha chincha.” You could say that she really really likes him! Nomu nomu nomu nomu jowa!

Rocket Punch’s Juri and Purple Kiss’s Na Goeun like him too, so maybe liking Lee Seungki helps you debut!

They’re all looking at him kind of like this:

He tells them that he’s here to help and that they can talk to him any time. He says that he’s heard that they’ve worked really hard, but also that a few of them have given up and gone home. It must have been hard for them, he says, which is actually pretty kind. He tells them not to give up, and encourages them to keep their dream in mind. Whatever he says, it seems to really help them.

He says that he believes that an international powerhouse group will emerge from this show and take all of Asia by storm. They all cheer.

Challenge Mission 1 Begins: Group Battle Mission

At 43:40 we move on to the next part of the series: the first challenge mission.

The girls gather in the studio dressed in their class colors, and cheer loudly when Lee Seungki comes out to greet them.

Hwang Soyeon looks especially delighted.

Lee Seungki explains that their first challenge will be a group battle mission which will help decide if they stay or get eliminated. He tells them that they’ll be divided into 16 teams of 6, doing 8 different songs -- in other words, each song will be performed by two different teams, which will be each other’s rivals. Within each pairing, there will be one winning team and one losing team. Each member of the winning team will get 1000 bonus points, and only the top 58 ranked trainees will survive.

The trainees view the 1000 bonus points as a “free pass” to stay, but I wouldn’t really agree with them. It’s nice and all that, but knowing what I know about the vote totals in the first round, it would only make a difference to people who are *right* on the line -- between 58th and 61st place. If you were going to be in 62nd place or below, or 57th place or above, it wouldn’t matter at all.

So, sure, you want the 1000 points, but what you want more than that is to come off as especially winsome in the rehearsal footage. That’s how you win the attention of the National Producers. Ideally, you should be really pretty, at least moderately skilled, very hardworking, and extremely sweet to the other girls, but perhaps a little bit put upon or martyred.

The trainees can’t believe that almost half of them are going to be eliminated. Nakanishi Chiyori, from What’s Your Name?, interviews, “I felt as if someone was poking my heart with something sharp.” They’re all varying degrees of desperate to survive.

The song choices for the 16 performances are revealed.

The songs:

Short Hair by AOA (from June 2014)

Peekaboo by Red Velvet (from November 2017)

Love Whisper by Gfriend (from August 2017)

Boombayah by Blackpink (from August 2016)

Very Very Very by IOI (from October 2016)

High Tension by AKB48 (in Japanese, from November 2016)

Like Ooh-ahh by Twice (Japanese version, original version from October 2015)

Mamma Mia by Kara (Japanese version, original version from August 2014)

Naturally, the Korean trainees want a song in Korean, while the Japanese trainees would prefer a song in Japanese. And, though no one is saying it right now, probably none of them want to do Boombayah, a song with famously difficult choreography. None of the others come close. It’s like that time they had NCT-U’s Seventh Sense on a Produce101 season. It just filled the trainees’ hearts with dread.

Seungki explains that he’ll be choosing trainees at random to be team captains, and that those girls will get to choose the other members of her team.

But first, Sakura gets to choose her own team, because that’s how this show works. I’m lowkey surprised they didn’t just write “Sakura” on every ball and then choose her name at “random”.

Sakura chooses “Lee Chaeyeon-chan” first, surprising almost no one. Chaeyeon probably is the one who taught Sakura the choreo to Nekkoya, and her teaching skills alone would make her an extremely useful member of any team. Then Sakura chooses sweet-faced Motomura Aoi second, which surprises… everyone? I mean, that’s not who I’d choose if I had my choice of everyone. But they’re both on HKT48 so they’re probably friends. Then she calls for Kim Minju-chan, likely because (a) Minju is a Very Pretty Girl and fairly highly ranked and (b) maybe they met somewhere and got to be friendly? After all, she calls her -chan not -san, which is a friendly name tag. Then she calls for Kim Choyeon, who, from everything we can tell, is a really sweet girl, and a hard worker.

She also has amazing facial expressions.

Her last pick is Kwon Eunbi-chan, who is a solid choice. Both Choyeon and Eunbi probably cemented their spot by being friendly to Sakura when they were together in A class.

Left to right: Sakura, Chaeyeon, Aoi, Minju, Choyeon, and Eunbi.

They stand together on stage and the Avengers theme song music plays. But I, an intellectual, know that often the *second* team picked is just as good, if not better, than the first.

Sakura has to then choose the name of the next team’s captain by picking a ball from the machine. Everyone wants to get picked, including a familiar face….

… but Sakura chooses An Yujin, future IVE member, instead of Huh Yunjin, future Le Sserafim member. Well, instead of everyone. And it’s totally random, right, MNET?

Yujin knows what’s up. So she chooses:

Na Goeun, future Purple Kiss

Jang Wonyoung, future Queen of all Kpop (and member of IVE)

Choi Yena, future soloist

Shiroma Miru, future visitor to Queendom Puzzle

Honda Hitomi, certified cutey-pie (but not shown in the screenshot)

Really, really strong team, in some ways stronger than the first team. To be fair, as much as I love Miru, I might have picked someone else, but Yujin was on B-team with Miru and they might have gotten really close.

She draws out Yabuki Nako’s name to be the next team captain, and holds the ball up straight to the camera like the commercial queen she is.

Does anyone else just want to buy pink ping pong balls now for some reason?

As a reminder, Yabuki Nako is the girl who moved from F class all the way up to A. From Nako onward, we don’t see who anyone picks, but we do see the next few team captains. Kojima Mako, Matsui Jurina, and Oda Erina. From there, things speed up. We see teams being picked and the ranks thinning out, until all that’s left is… the leftovers. (The reason I’m interested in the order that the captains get selected is that it gives us a sense of where a team fits in the hierarchy from AVENGERS at one end to LEFTOVERS at the other end.)

Team leftovers: Sato Minami, Chiba Erii, Asai Nanami, Asai Yuka, Kang Hyewon, and Han Chowon.

Poor Han Chowon, future member of Lightsum. For some reason she doesn’t get picked, despite being a member of B-class and having some obvious skills. It must have been galling to see people picking Ds and Fs ahead of her. Meanwhile, true to her basic lot in life, Miss Purity Kang Hye Won is like, “I wasn’t upset, but I didn’t know what to do.” Asai Yuka, who auditioned with Knock Knock, probably didn’t get picked because she’s only 14 and relatively inexperienced. It must have been so depressing and embarrassing, and as much as I kind of laugh at hopeless Hyewon, I feel sorry for all of them. Well, most of them.

Chiba Erii has prepared a brand new facial expression for the occasion. Totally different from the spaced out look she had in class, right? This one is like, 2% angrier.

I know I should be being nicer about it, but I find it really difficult to work up much sympathy for Chiba Erii. She strikes me as a girl who has always had an easy time in life because she’s pretty, and she expected that to continue. I'm probably being unfair, right? Sigh. Well, part of the point of these recaps is for me to mention my opinions, and that's one of them - that an accident of bone structure shouldn’t be an excuse to be unpleasant and dull.

Next, Lee Seungki tells them that the way they’ll be deciding who will get which song will be with a race. UGHH. They ran races on all four seasons of Produce101, and it’s always a mess. I get it that part of these shows is to just be fun, silly television for the viewers, but I don’t know, doesn’t it seem like a terrible idea? A bunch of extremely eager people placed into a situation in which they could easily harm themselves or others in their enthusiasm?

Produce X 101 was the last time they did the race, for the record. For Girls Planet 999, they did a challenge where they had to find each other’s baby photos, and for Boys Planet, they did it based on fancam views for the signal song performance. Either seems better than just like, who can run fastest.

Anyway, the girls discuss the songs that are right for them, and then the team captains line up for the race. (The teams can’t choose a runner -- the captain has to run.) There are two signs for each song on the far wall, but there is only one sign holder for each song, so the runners have to first grab the song they want then sprint back to the other side of the room to get that sign into the sign holder first in order to guarantee the choice.

I explained this song selection method to My Fella and he said, "Why don't they just put the song holders at the bottom of a deep swimming pool?" and I was like "I don't know why they're not at the heart of a volcano" and he was like "that's where they keep the signs themselves." We have fun, My Fella and me.

A few girls say that they have experience running track and field, including future IVE member Ahn Yujin, Kim Yubin, one of the CNC school girls, Lee Chaejung, future member of Alice, and Queen Jurina.

They run to the strains of “Chariots of Fire” and a lot of shrieking. Little Bibian looses a shoe. Looks like no one wants High Tension by AKB48, but fast runner Chaejung grabs Boombayah, and Hwang Soyeon grabs Like Ooh Ah. There’s a bit of a scuffle at the end, as Ahn Yujin and Kato Yuuka fight over who will really get Very Very Very, and Seungki has to come over to make the call: Ahn Yujin wins.

The winners get to choose which team they want to face off against -- and that team will have to do the same song. Jurina, whose team won Peekaboo by Red Velvet, chooses Kim Yubin’s team to be their rival, dashing Sakura’s hopes. Jurina is too smart to choose Sakura as a rival!

Lee Chaejeong, whose team is going to do Boombayah, gets to choose almost any team to go up against, and makes the strategic choice: the leftovers team. It’s a way of quite possibly guaranteeing success. As Won Soyeon puts it, “I feel bad, but… I don’t want to die.” This means that the least skilled team will be forced to do the most difficult song. Some of the girls on the leftovers team start to cry almost immediately -- pigtailed little Asai Yuka just buries her face in her hands and sobs, and Asai Nanami (Sailor Venus) interviews that for the first time, she just wants to go home -- and everyone feels awful.

I get it -- first no one chooses them to be in a team, and then they get chosen right away as the weakest rival to do the hardest song. It’s a one-two-three punch that had to really hurt.

Lee Seungki asks directly, “why are you crying?” and Erii answers just as directly, “We don’t think we can do it [perform Boombayah].”

Seungki kindly says, “In my experience, having the resolve to accomplish something will make people watching you feel touched by your determination. So having the resolve to be able to do it will touch the hearts of the National Producers. And nobody can predict the final outcome of that. So believe in yourself and be strong. I’ll have high hopes for all of you until the day that you turn those tears of sadness into tears of happiness.”

Aww! That’s some good stuff, Seungki.

Chiba Erii says, “ganbarimasu,” which is translated as “we’ll work hard” and is sort of the Japanese equivalent of “Fighting!” His words seem to cheer up the other girls, too, especially Hyewon.

The selections continue, in order I think of when the girls got their sign in the holder, until the very last team -- Ahn Yujin’s team -- gets stuck with the team no one wanted to face off against: Sakura’s team. Uh oh! This will be a tight race.

So, the teams have all been created and songs assigned. Now it’s time for the girls to start preparing! But that will have to wait for the next post!

Thanks as always for going on this Grand Journey with me. How is it going for you? Are you watching along? Are you just reading? Just skimming and looking for info about a favorite? (That's ok -- I know people might want to do that, which is why I bold the names of the trainees.) I hope all is well with you and that you've already come to some sort of acceptance about your New Year's resolutions.

Love ya lots,

BPR-unnie

#bpr recaps p48 #produce 48 #le sserafim #akb48 #ive #sakura #huh yunjin #jang wonyoung #jang gyuri #ahn yujin #rocket punch #purple kiss

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swinstudent · 2 years

Text

DIGITAL CITIZENSHIP...publics become more powerful

Digital citizenship refers too "the concept of digital citizenship focuses on online participation and civic engagement (social, political, and/or cultural issues) at micro and macro levels.” (Choi, Cristol 2021)

Digital citizenship continues to grow and evolve as societies become more dependent on their social media platforms, and this can be quite obvious as a result of individuals utilising social media as a news source, or education source to learn what is happening worldwide… (I know I do, as much as I may be labelled ‘brainwashed’ or ‘stupid’ by amounts of society.)

As Kim, Y., & Lee, S. 2022 states, “It is mainly due to the social media functions that make it possible for users to communicate with others in an easier, faster, and more diverse way. Hashtag is one of those functions.”

Although some of you may choose to screw your noses toward the utilisation of Hashtags today, while seen as outdated on particular sites such as Facebook and Instagram, I believe for recreational use like #food, that is true, however, as a political digital activism stance #hashtags are effective!!!

Some examples of how digital citizenship can be seen online, through Hashtags are:

#ShoutYourAbortion - 2015, which according too, Kim, Y., & Lee, S. 2022“became the symbol of de-stigmatization of abortion narratives and served as a platform for women’s honest and raw voices concerning their experiences that resist against mainstream narratives”

Another specific example of political digital based engagement, that I remember gaining a lot of discussion online, was during the #BLM Hashtag movement during #Covid-19 lockdown.

This movement gained a lot of media attention and almost all of my following list on every social media platform engaged, it was a seemingly powerful and harmless way of expressing the need for change.

However, one aspect I will point out is when TikTok was beginning to grow.

Specifically, I am not sure if anyone else remembers, however, #CharliD’mellio, amongst other TikTok influencers changed their profile pictures to a plain black picture and immediately buckets of hate comments surfaced claiming these influencers were demonstrating performative activism, rather than actually encompassing the core meaning.

Despite this, “digital citizenship must make critical social relations with technology visible and promote emancipatory technological practices for social justice.” (Choi & Cristol, 2021) in order to allow for oppressed individuals to spread messages, and express ones self whereby society can learn more of what needs to change!!!

References -

Choi, M. and Cristol, D. (2021) Digital citizenship with intersectionality lens: Towards Participatory Democracy Driven Digital Citizenship Education, Theory Into Practice, 60(4), pp. 361370. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1080/00405841.2021.1987094.

Kim, Y. and Lee, S. (2022) #shoutyourabortion on Instagram: Exploring the visual representation of Hashtag movement and the publics responses, SAGE Open, 12(2), p. 215824402210933. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1177/21582440221093327.

#MDA20009 #social media #digital citizenship

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anextrapart · 2 years

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Jimmy brings home a dog!

You know what anon you are so right.

I don't think they could/would have gotten a dog earlier in their lives, they were too busy with work. Swimmy McGill/Honey/Atticus Fish was more than enough for them. But now they have a house, and a yard, and even though they still work a lot they do a good amount of it from home because they like being near each other.

Getting a pet isn't really on Kim's radar though. She'd loosely considered it back during The Dark Times (what Jimmy now jokingly calls their six year post-breakup pre-reunion era), even went so far as to read up on cat ownership a little bit, but she'd never had a pet before and it felt like way too much of a Decision.

So, unsurprisingly, Jimmy is the one to raise the idea. He'd never had a pet before either (except for his fish), but Marco'd had a dog when they were growing up and Jimmy remembers loving that dog. Young Jimmy had begged his parents for one of his own, secretly hoping it would keep him company when he was lonely and want to be his friend no matter what, but they'd never quite come around to the idea.

There's no one thing in particular that triggers the idea for him now. But he sees people walking their dogs around town or playing with them in the park and it always looks like they're having a great time. And sometimes when Kim does go into work for the day and he’s alone for a while, he can feel himself getting a little antsy/panicky by the afternoon. He has no doubt that she's coming home and they text each other all day anyway, but he thinks it might be nice to have some company around the house.

He brings it up one evening while they’re in bed, Kim on her iPad and Jimmy with a book, casually mentioning dog ownership in a way that Kim can immediately tell is not casual.

“We’re not getting a dog, Jimmy.”

He’d expected this--he knows Kim doesn’t do things impulsively, of course she’s going to start at a position of “no”--so he launches into his sales pitch.

“We don’t need to commit to it at first, did you know that you can actually foster dogs now? You agree to take care of one that isn’t ready for a real home. You exercise it and feed it and teach it manners, and it makes them more appealing for someone to take on permanently.”

Kim doesn’t even look up from her iPad, biting back a smile. “In the early nineties that was my plan for you, and look where that got us.”

Jimmy yelps indignantly and grabs the iPad away from her, tossing it away to the end of the bed, and there’s a few minutes of laughing and play wrestling before they settle back down. Kim’s back where she started, sans-iPad and leaning up against the headboard, but Jimmy plopped himself down with his head in her lap.

He’s staring up at her with that look on his face, the one that’s open and adoring and that she’s seen there nearly since the day they met.

“Just think about it?”

Kim traces his brow with her fingertips. “I will.”

They have a foster dog living with them by the following month.

It only takes a few days for Jimmy to see that Kim is completely sold and that the dog is definitely never leaving, but he plays along with her supposed hesitation for a while, hiding his grins when the dog follows Kim around the house with a smiling mouth and a wagging tail.

The dog obviously has a name when she first comes to them, but once they officially decide to keep her Kim lets Jimmy change it, and from that day on her name is Mabel.

(you can cast whoever you like as the dog since I think many different breeds/mixes would suit them, but in my mind she is played by Olive Odenkirk because of course she is)

send me mcwexler ideas or prompts for after jimmy gets out of jail and I’ll try to write headcanon/fic stuff!

#bcs post-series drabble #better call saul #mcwexler

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chateautae · 4 years

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saudade | kth. (m)

saudade ; “a deep emotional state of nostalgic or profound melancholic longing for an absent something/someone that one cares for and/or loves.”

➵ summary : a demanding idol lifestyle was something taehyung and yourself were all too familiar with. it wasn’t so hard when considering your unconditional love for one another, but lately, taehyung wasn’t the same anymore; and you decide it's time to find out why.

➵ pairing : idol!taehyung x choreographer!reader

➵ genre : angst, smut, fluff (the holy trinity), idol!au, established relationship!au

➵ rating : 18+

➵ word count : 16k

➵ warnings : sexual content, swearing, dom + sub dynamics, dom!tae, fingering, oral (f. receiving), lots of dirty talk, t e a s i n g because let’s face it this is tae, big dick!tae, cock sliding, marking, restraint (with his own hands), unprotected sex (wrap it up peeps), rough sex, mushy i miss you sex, lots of feels, tae undresses reader (it’s hot i promise), praising, name kink, slight body worshipping, slight brat-handling, forced orgasm, creampie, one spank, tiny impreg kink, aftercare

➵ a/n : wow, my first fic on tumblr!! i’m beyond excited to finally be sharing my stories and writing, hopefully i can let you escape into a whole new world and enjoy my works! comments and feedback are always appreciated <3

2:27AM.

He still wasn't home.

Texts on delivered, calls unanswered, radio silence on all social media.

And it wasn’t just tonight, it was every night.

Everyday.

And it’s been a month. A long, grueling month.

A month where he only acknowledged your presence just once and called it a day. A month where he returned so late and left early enough the following morning you didn't see him. Somedays, he never even came home at all. You made suggestions to hang out together, and he declined them on the premise of 'too busy'.

It hurt beyond comprehension.

It's like he wasn't even there.

But you knew he was.

He was the one who moved your sleeping body from the couch to your shared bed every night, a sweet gesture of his that gave you hope maybe everything wasn't so bad. Sometimes, though, you woke up on the same couch the next morning, knowing he most likely stayed the night elsewhere.

You tried to remain indifferent to the treatment, figuring he was just stressed with his tightly-packed schedule that didn't always include you.

But it was beginning to feel heart-breaking, disappointing, but most of all, so lonely. It was starting to feel like he was slipping away from you, like you were losing him, relationship tearing at the seams. It left you nothing but heartbroken and afraid. Afraid of where your relationship had gone, afraid of whatever happened to the never-ending love you two shared. You both harboured an array of feelings for one another that infinitely tethered you two together, kept you madly in love and nearly impossible to separate.

So where was that now? How could it have all changed within the span of a month?

You’ve survived comebacks with him before and he never entertained this kind of behaviour. Maybe you had a fight or two about someone cancelling on a plan or working too hard but nothing as excruciating as this.

Your relationship began to feel empty, so meaningless. And the more he was distant, the stronger the pain grew and your love seemed to be losing its vitality.

Why would he do this? What's gotten into him? Did I do something wrong? Why doesn't he care anymore? you asked yourself repeatedly for weeks.

You’d think work was the issue, where your relationship had to be purposefully low-profile and subdued. But ever since the inception of your relationship, Taehyung never found any of that difficult. If anything, he loved it the most. You could easily leave it to the 'forbidden’ or 'looked down upon' stigma of you two dating to make everything 100x hotter, more exciting, and fuck, did you and especially Taehyung enjoy fiddling around with the concept as if you were some modern-day remake of Romeo and Juliet.

The sneaking around, the thrill of moments only you two shared, the promises you kept, the secret kissing or displays of affection, your romantic status like classified information some were only privy to.

But you didn't have to worry about suddenly losing your 'Romeo', though, because Taehyung wasn't as stupid as he was (no offence, Shakespeare).

Taehyung remained business-like whenever he needed to be and tended to his work accordingly. He was always cautious of the consequences your relationship warranted, and worked hard to prove your love was worth it despite his chaotic life and the challenges everyone warned you of.

Taehyung has also always been mischievous, a little rebellious, someone who doesn't always like following whatever he's told; so this relationship was just his cup of tea, making it hard to believe he would grow tired of it considering his well-precedented admiration.

But now, you weren’t so sure.

Now he seemed practically devoid of the fact that you two were even dating. He didn’t naturally gravitate towards you anymore like before, instead increasingly gravitating away from you. He didn't linger around to catch a moment with you anymore, didn't come looking for you, didn't spark conversation whether it was important or not, even stopped looking at you as a whole. It seemed like being in your presence was something he avoided rather than just didn't do, like he wanted to fill his time elsewhere and sometimes… you swore it felt intentional.

As if he didn't want to be around you.

You sought communicating with him about everything, pinning all the blame on his mountain-high stress and how busy he was thinking you could help ease his mind; but he stayed firm on the notion he was just fine. You obviously knew something was up and wanted to confront him, but you feared pestering or nagging him, never wishing to add to his stress.

And you get that, you really do. He has this demanding, grandiose life that you should understand is incredibly stressful and time-consuming. But you're going to be honest... you fucking missed Kim Taehyung. A lot.

Granted, you saw him at work, even more so now with a comeback dawning on the group, but it wasn’t the same.

You missed being home with him. You missed the way his big arms cuddled you when you watched a movie together, you missed 'attempting' to cook dinner with him, you missed your snuggly mornings where he wouldn’t let you go until he laid at least a hundred kisses on you. You missed him tickling you when you least expected it, randomly playing any track of jazz or slow music, swaying you until he made you giggle and you missed him never forgetting to kiss your forehead whenever he parted from you, even if he had to be discreet where work was concerned.

The cute, couply things you missed, sure. But the one thing that consistently clouded your mind and bothered you nearly every second of everyday...

Sex.

That active as hell sex life you two had, you missed every damn detail about it and your body desperately yearned for its revival.

After a month's dryspell, you craved Taehyung so badly it wasn’t funny anymore. From all the times he eyed you suggestively, to the way his large, touchy hands ended up all over you, to the way he eventually laid you down, lost himself in his torturous but pleasurable teasing, maybe even tying you up or handcuffing you in the process, getting you dripping wet before he eventually fucked you just right simply out of his own desire.

Nope.

You can't do this, it only made you hornier than you already were and fuck, did anything you try on yourself not work at all. You were feeling greedy. Going from doing it nearly three times a week during quarantine lockdown with him to suddenly having gone a month sex-free left you losing your mind.

There used to be so much fire, so much love, so much passion between you two. It was intoxicating, so ardent that you could feel yourselves aching for each other in your bones. But now, all of that felt either non-existent or buried so deep underground you couldn't feel much of anything. And of course, the absence of sex and the cute stuff collectively sucked, sure. But what scared you the most were your own thoughts.

What if he's finally tired of you? What if he wants to focus on his career? What if he's found someone new, someone that isn’t staff, someone much easier and less burdensome than you..

You stopped.

A dark web of assumptions swarmed your head, all seeming completely plausible and welcoming a dull, daunting sadness to loom over you. Your chest constricted at the thought of your fickle importance to him, wincing at the possibility it could be true. You sat in silence in your lonely home, leaving you to ponder when the apartment began to feel so forlorn in the first place.

The photographs he took framed the walls, the old albums he owned littered your shelves and even one of the many jackets he owned was currently sprawled across your couch. You noticed the way his presence was so deeply rooted in the home, yet he felt as distant as ever.

You settled in on your couch, cradling his jacket at the thought of how much longer this would continue, forcing yourself to sleep in hopes of ridding the feeling of emptiness from your chest.

But you couldn't.

Your mind drowned struggling to sleep, giving up on shut-eye as a whole until eventually you began swimming, swimming through your emotions and one particular thought stood out to you; this wasn't fucking fair.

It just wasn't, none of this was. You can't let him continue this, can't remain on the fence about doing something and you certainly cannot just let this go. It was your duty as one of the active partners in this relationship to fight for its life, so that's exactly what you were going to do—with one conclusion you were convinced would work.

You should give him a taste of his own medicine.

You decided to be upset, ignore him and see how he reacts. Respond with the same curt responses, not give him the time of day, 'naturally' gravitate away from him. Hell, you could start tomorrow by waking up earlier than him and seeing how he responds to your empty side of bed for once.

That's if he even comes home tonight.

This seemed like the only sure-fire method of gaining his attention. Maybe if you acted unreasonably, far from how you usually do he would finally pay you any mind, have to approach and confront you. You’d always let him off the hook on the account of him being an idol, but now he’s taken it too far.

Your mind grew hazy somewhere in between thinking and shuffling on the couch, only the sight of a vacant apartment and the scent of his cologne lulling you to sleep.

You groaned as your eyes fluttered open, the reality of last night resurfacing as you remembered the impromptu plan for today, cursing how early you had to wake up to avoid him.

You lazily rubbed at your eyes as they landed on the clock on your bedside table, suddenly registering you were in a different room altogether. It was then you felt the softness of your pillow, the silk of your sheets, the familiarity of your room's walls coming into view—all of it blissful until you froze at the feeling of weight around your waist, a quick glance confirming it was an arm. It was then you felt your neck being fanned by hot breaths, your back flush against someone's bare chest and you felt your heart speed up.

Is he...?

Thinking you're getting ahead of yourself, you're proven just right when you turn around to a face you knew all too well.

Taehyung's soft figure rose and fell as he slept soundlessly next to you.

You instantly softened, in a bit of shock because he was right there, angelic as ever as he breathed calmly and cuddled your smaller figure into him.

He still held you to fall asleep, huh?

A smile found your face at the thought as you admired the details of his; thick, pretty lashes pressed against the skin underneath his eyes, his large, veiny hand tucked under his cheek as the other draped you, his pink, pillowy lips sealed together in an adorable pout. You shifted onto your side and nuzzled closer into him, listening to his rhythmic breathing and watching his broad chest rise and fall. You melted into his presence, soaking in all the glory that was Kim Taehyung.

You then remembered he was always here, he did give you his personal time; you just didn't see him. You knew he moved you at night, tucked you in, maybe kissed you goodnight. Maybe he had moments where he felt terrible for being away, whispered sweet apologies and promises into your ear.

But then again, you wouldn’t know, you didn't spend enough time together for you to know.

A sudden movement of his arm and that eerie thought snapped you back into reality, instantly scolding yourself for getting distracted by him. You had to focus on how you felt, hone in your emotions and refrain from doting on your precious boyfriend.

You wouldn't be able to ignore him later if you didn't start now.

You were forced to leave his warmth, having to ready yourself for today's rehearsals and resolving numerous things for however long this would continue; you needed Taehyung to feel what you've been feeling all this time, needed him to feel the absence of your presence just as you had felt his.

And you'll be damned if you were going to be easy about it.

A couple hours had passed as you stretched, yawning after revising a rehearsal video, the murmurs of staff keeping you awake. Stretching for what felt like the millionth time, you slightly jumped at the sound of the studio doors opening just before the scheduled time. You watched it mindfully, your heart speeding up at the thought of suddenly seeing Taehyung so soon.

Don’t let it be him first, don’t let it be him first, don’t let it be him first.

You calmed down once your eyes set on 5 of the members ambling in, watching them greet people until you eventually spotted Jimin and Taehyung trailing behind, thankfully too occupied with giggling to see you.

You rejoiced in the lack of eye contact until you decided to sneak a peek at Taehyung, mortified when you found his eyes suddenly locking with yours. The shock made you turn away instantly, swallowing what felt like your heart down your throat.

Your ears were welcomed to the boys making conversation, playfully teasing the 95's for apparently being late and in the midst you managed to shyly greet everyone... except Taehyung.

And this didn't go unnoticed by him, who already felt worried since he woke up to your cold, unoccupied side of the bed this morning. Taehyung instantly found it off-putting, since he usually knew your schedule and left him wondering what reason you had to disappear without informing him.

Curiosity flooded him as the thought continued to bug him, what did she have to do so early in the morning? His inquiries turned into actions when he began passing through the boys, immediately stepping towards you.

"Morning, Y/N. Everything alright?" Taehyung innocently reached for your shoulder once he settled beside you. You almost let him do it, making you reminiscent of when he actually gave a shit about you, but you remembered your little scheme and swiftly pulled away.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Taehyung immediately froze up, disbelief riddling his handsome features. You've never once rejected his touch so blatantly.

You would never do that, he thought.

Taehyung paused his hand at the point he would have touched you, tugging at his bottom lip uncomfortably before rubbing the back of his neck. You internally winced at the hurt you could see on his face through the studio mirrors, forcing yourself to stand your ground as he feebly spoke again.

"You don't seem fine. Why did you wake up so early this morning? You didn't tell me about it..." He scratched his neck awkwardly, a hint of a pout in his tone.

"I don't know, I just couldn't sleep. I don't need to tell you my every move, Taehyung." You responded curtly.

"I know..but you could've told me, Jagiya. We could've spent the morning together in the apartment if you were up so early." Taehyung looked at you in protest, lowering his voice so others couldn't hear.

The use of your pet name after a long time instantly ticked you off, even more so his proposal, he could say all that cute shit but couldn't act upon it?

Irritation nestled its way under your skin, causing you to whisper dryly, “Just get to stretching, Taehyung, we have a lot to go over today.”

His jaw clenched as he swallowed, a troubled expression painting his face. He managed a small 'okay' before he unwillingly stepped away.

Taehyung was beyond confused; something was wrong, seriously wrong. It wasn't just your harsh tone or icy aura, but even in the way you addressed him so plainly as Taehyung.

He didn't understand, he's seen you mad or annoyed before, but nothing along these lines and he couldn’t piece together the reason for your attitude. It seemed like nothing would ameliorate your mood either, leaving Taehyung cursing whatever evil thing was making you so upset.

Despite experiencing that bitter demeanour, however, Taehyung was forced to watch you act friendly with everyone else during practice.. except him.

And what was even worse, he watched you do so for the rest of the week. You had gone a whole week with your (what he found to be) ridiculous behaviour, everything about you so different with him he was left consumed with frustration.

He watched as you continued to treat everyone else the same, getting a little too close to them than he liked. It was something he noticed in the weeks previous to this, but now silently pissed him off even more because this time you decided to purposefully exclude him; and he hated it. You barely spoke or tended to him over the course of the week, Taehyung's envy blooming in his chest at the way you acted so close to everyone yet treated him, your boyfriend, like a stranger.

He didn't understand why he was the only one, you talked to Jimin about what he did on his days off, pretended to box with Jungkook, danced around with Yoongi and Hoseok and goofed around with Jin and Namjoon. Hell, he even found you socializing with other staff and dancers more than usual.

Taehyung couldn't fucking stand it, what in the world was wrong with you? Not only did he figure something was clearly wrong, but that he clearly did something wrong.

He was beyond confused, annoyed, but more so worried as to what was fuelling your actions. Taehyung didn't know what he did, and he couldn't manage not knowing anymore, most of all despising the feeling that he was suddenly losing you.

He quickly resolved after a gruesome week he wasn't letting you go after rehearsals tonight, giving a fat fuck you to his evening plans and trading them in for confronting you.

Your eyes stung from a week’s worth of waking up at the ass crack of dawn to avoid Taehyung, rubbing your eyes as you slung your purse over your shoulder to end another day at the studio. Thinking you were alone, you swiveled around to an empty room and surprisingly spotted Taehyung.

You jumped a little, not expecting him to still be here when you knew he had dinner plans tonight.

Did he cancel them?

Suddenly realizing this is the first time in over a month you’ve been in a room with him, alone, and especially after the week you've spent purposefully dodging him, anxiety flooded your chest.

Your eyes flittered around, nibbling on your lip awkwardly as you pretended he wasn't there. You eventually met his eyes and he returned your hesitant gaze with an intense one, nearly peering into your very soul. He remained unbothered with his hands tucked into his pockets, and now that you were finally viewing him, couldn't help but swoon over his look for the day.

He really chose to wear that damn grey hoodie with matching grey sweatpants that makes you weak, hair styled in the messy curls he's been sporting ever since his perm and wearing that one silver hoop earring you found incredibly hot.

He looked like a fluffy puppy but also a full-course meal crafted by God himself.

This isn't fucking fair at all.

He noticed you staring at him and his head cocked to the side, studying you with a hint of a smirk. He raised an eyebrow tauntingly, like he wouldn't let you go after trapping you in what felt like shackles around your ankles. You could only swallow dryly, averting your eyes and reminding yourself you had to get out of his trance

His power over you was immense, especially when he flipped his curly fringe from his eyes, examining you with such a fiere, unreadable expression you shifted nervously on your feet.

How is he so dominant when he's standing a whole 15 fucking feet away from you?

You watched a self-satisfying grin play onto Taehyung’s lips, loving the way you squirmed under his undivided attention until he suddenly began stepping in your direction, sheer panic overtaking you. You weren't ready, you didn't really think of the result of this plan and now that it's worked, you knew you were in trouble.

Taehyung is unpredictable as hell, you never knew what was running through his mind and which idea he’d pick to entertain. You malfunctioned at the thought and your flight response kicked in, making you step towards the door at light speed.

"I..uh.. I have to go." You stuttered and purposely ducked around him. You felt relieved once you passed his deep stare, until you felt his slender fingers suddenly grapple onto your wrist.

Shit.

"You're not going anywhere." His low voice reverberated in the room, sending currents through your body. You refused to look at him, knowing it would make you squeal, but you stabilized your voice to speak.

"I..", you swallowed, "don't think it's your place to say."

You felt his hold on your wrist tighten, knowing that pissed him off.

A small moment of silence passed and you thought he'd given up, relaxing until he suddenly yanked you towards him, your smaller figure crashing into his chest. He held you against his tall body as his eyes locked with your timid ones, forcing the confrontation of your obvious issue with him.

You took a stubborn step back instead of giving in, arms crossed. Taehyung had enough of you evading his look and gently lifted your chin with his index finger.

"My place? It's been a fucking week and you haven't even looked at me, Y/N. What is your problem?" He emphasized with annoyance, but his soft eyes gave away he was just desperate for an answer.

"Nothing's wrong, Taehyung, I'm just tired."

"Oh really? Tired? Y/N, don't think I didn't notice you ignore me for an entire week. I thought something was wrong in general but clearly you have a problem with me and only me. What's your deal?" He vented in frustration, tone utterly displeased.

You only scoffed disbelievingly, looking towards the ground in search of something to hold back your piled-high emotions.

Taehyung grew tired of your silence and sighed with dejection. He cupped your cheeks and looked at you seriously, "Look at me, bubs, what's so wrong? Did I do something?" the newfound frailty in his voice left you sucking in a breath of guilt.

You really wanted to voice how you felt, teetering on the possibility until you suddenly became aware you'd be requesting demands from one of the busiest people on Earth.

Your tongue habitually tied itself.

"It's just.. It's not important, Taehyung. Let me go." You abruptly turned out of his hold, locking your jaw tightly.

"Why in God's name would I let you go? Something's wrong, Jagiya, and that's always going to be important to me." Taehyung squeezed your arms affectionately, suddenly warming you to him.

You could instantly feel your emotions conflicting inside, flooding your chest with regret yet frustration so heavy you needed air. Your eyes were beginning to reveal your vulnerability, trying to blink away threatening tears.

"Taehyung, just let me go, it's absolutely nothing." Your voice sounded shakily unconvincing and yet, you were tugging yourself away as if he would believe you.

"It's not nothing, I can clearly see something wrong. Why won't you just tell me?"

"Because I don't want to tell you, Taehyung. It's really just nothing."

"You keep saying it's nothing but I can see it in your eyes, you're upset, Jagiya. I know you." Taehyung spoke matter-of-factly, his grip and tone growing desperate.

"I'm not upset, I'm just exhausted."

"Exhuasted..” Taehyung trailed, licking his lips. “Of course, because now you're waking up earlier than you usually do in the morning and on top of that without even fucking telling me why." His tone grew irritated as he scoffed, looking away from you.

You instantly grew annoyed.

"And I told you I don't need to tell you my every move, Kim. Why are you even so pissed about it?”

"Did you just.. family name me?" Taehyung narrowed his eyes

"So what if I did?" You deadpanned.

Taehyung let out a deep sigh.

"I’m pissed cause I got worried, okay? Not everyone has a situation like ours where anyone could do shit to you because of me, so I like knowing where you are." Taehyung stressed with a serious tone. "And listen, I’m not letting you go until you tell me what's wrong. I'm fucking serious, Jagi, you did not just ignore me all week only to tell me nothing's wrong."

"And I'm not gonna say anything. I'm fucking serious, Taehyung." You mimicked him, hoping he'd let you go.

Taehyung dragged his tongue along the inside of his cheek and chuckled dryly, your impossibility unbelievable to him. He pursed his lips before slowly releasing you, his hands up in mock surrender.

"Fine, you can leave then."

You took his words without a second thought and immediately turned for the door. You had just cracked it open before Taehyung’s hand suddenly smacked it shut from behind, making you turn around startled.

He abruptly pinned you against the door with the weight of his body, locking you in with both arms. He leveled himself to your height and peered directly into your eyes.

"And I told you, I'm not letting you go, Ms. Y/L/N." Taehyung now mimicked you as you felt him dominate you with a degree of alpha-male that left you entranced and unable to move. He drew himself closer to your face, so close that he granted no room for you to breathe. You could only stand in defeat, your doe eyes wide as you flashed them to his lips and back to his eyes.

Taehyung couldn't resist how much he wanted you anymore.

"I always forget how challenging you can be." He spoke in his deepest, sultriest tone, that damn bass paired with his dancing eyes causing you to bite your lip.

Taehyung watched you do so and grew hot, finding you irresistible when you were acting impossible yet became putty in his hands. You balled your hands into fists against his chest as he dangerously inched towards your neck, his proximity shooting arousal through your blood.

His scent was intoxicating, resurfacing the numerous thoughts you had of him in his absence. He manifested butterflies in your chest, knowing you had to resist him yet found yourself giving in.

He finally ducked into your neck, anticipating the connection of his lips until he only ghosted your skin. He breathed against you purposefully to elicit a reaction, gifted his desire when he felt your body lean into him and breath hitch.

You hated that you wanted him to kiss you already. You craved him so desperately, so in need of his touch that just the feeling of his body pushing you against the door was enough to make you press your thighs together.

And little did you know, a month and a week without you left Taehyung dying to devour you.

As if noticing you getting impatient, he pulled you towards him by your waist and his lips finally crashed onto your neck, a silent groan escaping you as his plush lips began mouthing sensually. You let out a breathy moan but gathered the courage to speak up, knowing full well the high creeping up on you and you needed to get back at him.

"Maybe if you were home more often you'd remember."

A small laugh escaped Taehyung, "So that's what this is about?" The sudden puff of his breath made you want to jump him. He deliberately pushed his hips into yours, shooting jolts throughout your core once you felt the familiar prodding of something hard. He began sliding one of his hands up and down your waist, almost in an effort to distract you.

"Of course it is, Tae. You're never fucking home." You spoke with vexation, growing both sexually and emotionally frustrated over the way he was pressing you up against the door and inviting a stirring feeling to constrict your insides. He brought his thigh in between your legs, slightly grinding against you as he added pressure to your heat and sucked your sweet spot.

"I'm never fucking home, huh? Who do you think moves you from the couch to our bed? Makes sure you're comfortable and tucks you in? Kisses you goodnight?" He asked rhetorically, letting his teeth bite at your supple flesh and embellish you with his favourite purple marks.

"T-that's not the point, Taehyung. I'm not awake. H-how does that count as you being home?" You retaliated as best you could, snaking your hands to grab the nape of his neck, fingers trailing into the curly ends of his hair. He groaned so audibly that you grew shamelessly hornier.

"Because I do come home. I sleep next to you in our bed, even cuddle you." He began sucking underneath your jaw, wrapping his arm around your torso to press you flush against him. He kissed down your throat trying to bite and leave more hickies, pushing you back for support.

"I-I just told you, that doesn't count, Tae. You... come home when I'm asleep and leave before I wake up. I-I never see you." You tried to maintain your composure, hands hugging his head close to you.

"But we already see each other here, don't we? You see me at practice, meetings, in the building... no?" He suddenly came off your neck and his hand flanked to your chin, advancing for a kiss. But immediate annoyance flooded you upon registering his words, pulling your face back.

"Are you kidding me? You count that as seeing each other? All we do is rehearse choreography and work together. How is that 'seeing' each other?" You asked, baffled at his audacity.

"Because we're at least together, aren't we? Isn't that all that matters?" Taehyung looked at you as if you were the ridiculous one, ignoring your concerns and trying to kiss you again. You immediately removed yourself from him and pushed him back, his hands letting you go.

"That's not the issue, Tae. The issue is that you're really busy and I get that, but we literally haven't done anything together in the last month. And the reason that sounds insane to me is because we work and live together, you'd expect that somewhere in that time we would’ve done something... but we haven't." You emphasized as you pled your case.

"Princess, we've been over this. I told you at the beginning of our comeback that our time together was gonna be limited. I remember you agreeing to that and understanding. Why is this coming up now?"

"So going an entire month neglecting your ‘princess' is what you meant? Your 'limited' seems more like 'nothing at all'.” You air quoted and crossed your arms, becoming annoyed with his ambiguity and sudden use of another pet name.

"Okay, that's not what I'm saying. All I'm saying is that comeback season is busy, it's one thing after another and I can't always keep up with everything. There’s a lot going on; our album, company business, don’t get me started on the mountain of work with promotions, concerts, filming and photoshoots. I'm even making an entire fucking mixtape. I’m trying my damn best here." Taehyung vouched for himself, holding his hands up to defend against your accusations.

"And I'm not saying you don't try, I understand that you're busy but what I’m saying is I don't even feel important to you anymore, let alone a priority. We barely interact, you never do anything with me or talk to me, but for everyone else you’ve got all the effort in the world to spare. I get that you're an idol, I always see you working hard and I'm proud of that. But you somehow make time for everything else.. why can't you just make some time for me?" You felt like you sounded selfish, almost faltering from revealing anymore but you felt so neglected it had to be said.

"Wh-what about you? Oh my God, Jagiya.. you're such a high priority to me. Trust me, you really don’t know what I'd do for us and you should know I’d damn well do or sacrifice anything. It may seem like I'm not right now but I promise it's not like that. You'll always be important to me, how could you think otherwise?" Taehyung was perplexed by your sudden outburst, never having known of these feelings before. He reached his hands out to you but you abruptly denied him, snapping at the question.

“Then what’s it ‘like’, exactly? Because it seems very much to me like you want nothing to do with our relationship.”

“No, that’s-that’s not it at all. Don’t worry about this, okay bubs? Overthinking this won’t do you any good, just trust me.”

“Trust you? You're not even answering my damn question, Taehyung, what is it then? Why aren’t you telling me? Are you fucking hiding something?” You began speculating, his repeated vagueness irking you.

“Jagi, no, just listen to me. Know that I mean it when I say you’re important to me, you’re the love of my life and you'll always be a priority. Why are you thinking like this? Where is all this coming from?” Taehyung asked incredulously, getting on your very last nerve.

"I don't fucking know, Taehyung, maybe because you ignore me for hours on end? Maybe because you leave me every morning without considering just waking up together? I know we can't make it obvious we live together, but we’ve always found a way before, what happened to that? Your texts and phone calls are so meaningless. You make time for your friends and other people but don't make any for me." Your eyes turned glassy, tears escaping as you recalled your terrible feelings over the last month.

"Do you know why you find me sleeping on the couch every night no matter how fucking uncomfortable it is? Because our bed literally smells like you and it constantly reminds me of you but you’re not even there. Do you know how many times I've wanted to talk to you but you're too distracted and I know you'd just push me away? Or how scared I am of bothering you? How many times I've wanted you to come home? How utterly empty and lonely the apartment feels without you even though everything about you is riddled all over it? You don't get it, Taehyung. You just don't fucking get it." You found yourself crying and clutched your chest where it felt like your heart was on display for Taehyung, the reality of everything hitting you like a 16-wheeler.

Taehyung did nothing but blink at you for several seconds, shocked at what he just heard. Were you seriously.. that upset? His absence was that prominent? It didn't even feel like a month to him, but it seems to you it felt like an eternity.

Taehyung unfortunately only knew his packed schedule and making sure he didn’t fall asleep where he shouldn't. A multitude of things ran through his mind on a daily basis with his chaotic life; discussing outfits with his stylist, trying to purchase that new serum his makeup artist always reminds him of, meeting with a producer to review freshly composed songs for his mixtape or finally going out for that one drink he always promised a friend or two—and he suddenly hated it all.

He especially began to loathe his demanding life when he saw the hurt on your face; the way your eyes glistened with pain, the loneliness in your voice, the way you tried physically holding yourself together. He couldn't fathom he was the cause of such pain, wincing at how utterly stupid he was for not noticing this earlier.

I really did do something to her.

He searched for anything to say, beginning to form words but quickly stopping himself from starting a sentence each time. He only examined your crumbling state and regretted not having talked to you sooner, but suddenly wishing you informed him about your feelings preemptively.

"I.. I thought you would've said something, Y/N, but you didn't. How am I supposed to know you feel this way if you don't tell me? You-you seemed okay to me." He inquired softly, tone riddled with guilt, but his words only made a disdainful scoff leave your lips.

"Told you? Taehyung, you have always made it clear that you're a busy person and I've always respected that. You also made clear the importance of this comeback and that I just had to understand how limited our time together would be. Of course I had to act okay. How could you expect me to come and beg you for your attention after you tell me not to seek it?"

Taehyung was taken aback, falling silent. You watched him angrily, finding it unbelievable he really had nothing to say for such a crucial argument.

"I was fucking embarrassed, Taehyung. I thought you'd get mad at me for hovering around you while you were busy and stressed. I didn't want to fucking suffocate you."

"What? Jagi, no, this is important. I wouldn't have reacted like that at all. If you were hurting this much you could've told me and I would've done something. You can always talk to me, how could you not know that?" Taehyung inquired with a hint of accusation and it was like every cell in your body had set off.

"Oh fuck you, Kim Taehyung. Don't give me that bullshit! Of course I know, but I also know that you just get caught up in your own world and your extravagant idol life and I don't wanna fucking bother you when you’re living it without me!"

"Y/N, don't. I'm not trying to pick a fight with you, can you watch your tone a little?" Taehyung asked with a frustrated timbre.

"You know what? I won't, Taehyung, let's fight. Only way to get your attention, isn't it?" Your feelings had reached its peak as you decided to egg him on.

"Don't do this, Y/N. I'm trying to have a civilized conversation."

"And I don't want a civilized conversation, it's only making you ask me stupid questions."

"They're not stupid questions. Can you not understand my side of this?"

"Nope, I won't because I don't care about your side, actually."

"The fuck? And you just expect me to understand your side when you won't even try to understand mine? I’m expected to know how you feel? Well news flash, Y/N, I can't exactly read minds.” He humorlessly tapped his head for effect, quipping at you harshly.

"I'm not asking you to read my mind, I'm just asking you to fucking pay attention for once in your goddamn life." You rolled your eyes dramatically, arms crossed tight as ever.

Taehyung noticeably grew angry at the remark, his eyes narrowing in irritation. "Do not tell me of all people I don't pay attention. You know I've changed over the years but how attentive I am hasn't. Don't ever say that to me again." Taehyung's stern voice warned you of the line you were crossing.

You immediately softened and turned your attitude down a notch, only by a margin since you knew he would never grow angry enough to do anything to you.

"Fine, you pay attention, but clearly not enough." You acquiesced, looking away from him.

Taehyung tried his best to reason now that he sensed you yielding. "Look, this is my first time hearing about this, okay? I had no clue, especially because you seemed and acted fine with me. Of course I'm going to tell you you should've just talked to me, I'm seriously not asking stupid questions."

"Well, I didn't want to talk to you."

"And how was that going to help you? It's only making us argue over something so easily fixable." He indirectly accused you and you returned your eyes to his, narrowing them at his audacity.

"Wow, easily fixable, huh? Do you really think it takes that little to earn my forgiveness after neglecting me for an entire month? Am I that easy to you?" You smiled to yourself miserably, turning away as tears spilled from you.

Your assumptions were correct, he really just thought of you as some easy pushover. Part of this was your fault, wasn't it? Being so quiet and passive about everything. You voluntarily let him get away with everything, let him slip away without a fight, and the frustration of that realization came washing down on you, hard.

"No, wait. That's not what I meant. I just meant that if you'd let me known earlier, we wouldn't be fighting like this." Taehyung instantly softened at your tears with regret, internally facepalming himself.

"I didn't want to openly tell you, okay? It makes me seem...like an attention-seeker, and I was so afraid of bothering you." You wore your heart on your sleeve as your voice wavered, more tears escaping as you attempted to blink them away.

Taehyung looked at you with overwhelming worry. His heart was beyond broken now, his desire to fix everything growing stronger with every tear that dared escape your eyes.

He needed to make this right, fast.

"It doesn't make you a fucking attention-seeker, Y/N. Stop being so worried about how you appear to me, I'm with you for a reason. I accept you in any way, especially after how much we fought for this, for us. Your feelings too, they're all fucking valid to me. I really would've done something if you’d just told me how you felt." Taehyung practically pleaded, his pouty lips and devastated eyes making it clear he just wanted to reach some sort of consensus with you.

"But that's the problem, Tae." You sniffled, wiping some tears. "You keep saying I should’ve told you, when you should've noticed on your own in the first place."

Taehyung felt like someone had slapped him across the face, his lips parting as a deep look of realization dawned on his gorgeous face. "I…" He trailed, but couldn't let words out. He was realizing how stupid he was, how unobservant and ignorant. He hated it all, hated that he was so busy, hated that he didn't pay enough attention and hated that he hurt you.

You gave up when his lack of words warranted a tense silence between you two, cut short when you hastily left the room. You walked in the direction of the parking lot angrily. You just needed some air, needed to go home and cleanse yourself of him for the time being.

You thought you were being quick enough, until you heard laboured footsteps and Taehyung's low voice echoing in the hallway, tailing you.

"Y/N! Wait, wait! Please, don’t walk away!" Taehyung practically begged as he rushed to your side.

"I'm not gonna wait for anything, I'm going home!"

"Stop! My manager's gonna take us home tonight, okay? We're gonna talk about this." He stated with solidarity as he grabbed your arm, eager to patch things up.

"No we're not, and I have my own car, I'm getting myself home." You snatched your arm from him and marched on.

"You can leave it here for fuck's sake, and I said stop. We're going home together and sorting this out because I can't leave you like this, okay? We need to fix this."

"Awh, all I'm getting from that is you'll finally be home for once!" You chirped sarcastically, never looking at him as you practically stomped away. You saw him falter from your side, knowing he had to have paused at the heft of your comment.

You both eventually made it through the building’s doors, you needing to be pretty much dragged into his manager’s car despite your vehement protest, stupidly shut into the back with him.

You were turned away putting on an Oscar’s worthy performance of pretending he wasn’t there, and Taehyung was left to canvas his numerous thoughts as the car drove.

He realized he had said nothing to your comment earlier because.. you were right.

When was the last time he sat in a car with you like this? The last time you were both home together? The last time you both lazily threw your things onto the floor once you arrived home and immediately smothered each other after holding back all day? The last time he held you in his arms while you two watched a trashy movie?

Holy fuck, when was the last time we had sex? Made love?

He could only think of memories from weeks ago in quarantine, nothing recent. His solemn gaze fell upon you as he thought. He could feel the prominent tension between you two, the gut-wrenching distance, leaving a black hole swallowing his heart. He felt no ease, no affection, no love.

When did it fucking become like this?

He was still struggling to stomach the fact that he hurt you. He watched you regretfully, tears pricking at his eyes as he saw you attempting to hold back your own.

He then felt the sudden need to hold you, to comfort you. You had been pulling away from him for so long that he wanted nothing but to feel his large, warm hand cradle your smaller, colder one. Reassure you that while he's stupid, he's still here.

Taehyung looked at you and leaned over, deciding to gently slide a reaffirming hand atop yours, gripping your fingers with all the love and warmth he could muster.

He expected you to reject him, nearly giving up on a reaction until he felt your tentative hand just barely grab his back. Surprised, he took a relaxed breath.

I'm going to fix this.

Taehyung shut the door as you two sauntered into your apartment and you disregarded your things, heading straight for your room. You thought it would make Taehyung leave you alone, but he caught your hand as you began stepping away. He didn’t yank you; simply held your wrist, still and remorseful with your back to him.

A long pause passed as he stood in place, silence piercing the air until you spoke coldly, "What do you want?"

“I’m sorry.” Was all he could manage, his once powerful voice so incredibly small.

You searched for a response, the air becoming somewhat suffocating as you sighed. “I know.”

“No, you don’t. Jagiya, I mean it. I mean it with everything I have. I'm so sorry” Taehyung insisted with meaning, like he was seconds away from falling apart if you didn't believe him.

You could hear the sincerity in his words and you could feel how heartbroken he was, but your exhaustion amassed with all the emotions that had been attacking you all week were discouraging you from participating in any conversation right now.

“You may mean it, but that’s not fixing anything, Taehyung. You really don’t know how it felt to have you ignore me. To see you unaffected by our time apart. It felt like you were pushing me away, like I wasn’t worth your fucking time anymore.”

“That’s wrong, Jagiya. You are always worth my time.”

“Then maybe you’re just a contradictive jerk, Taehyung, I don’t know!” You threw your hands up as you broke his hold, turning around vexed.

"Because one day you're telling me to basically fuck off because you're too busy but the next you're saying I'm worth all your time? Where the fuck was that the last month then? All you had to do was spare me a couple hours a week, just a couple. I wasn't even asking for much, you could've made the time!"

“I'm sorry, okay! I’m a jerk, I get it, but I had a reason! I have a fucking reason but right now I want to apologize and say I'm sorry. I’m sorry I made you feel like that, I’m sorry I neglected you and made you feel alone, I never intended that!” Taehyung sincerely implored, eyes worried and persistent as he reached for you.

“Then what did you intend? Saying sorry after the fact does nothing. If you didn’t intend to hurt me then what did you intend to do?!” You shouted, evading his touch again.

“I was doing it for you! The reason was all for you, for us!”

You couldn’t help but laugh as anger seeped into your blood, unbelieving of whatever excuses you thought he was making up.

“For me? Us? Really? Wow, did you suddenly quit your job as an idol to become comedian of the fucking year?” You quipped venomously. "How the fuck is you ignoring me for a month 'for our relationship'?"

Taehyung was trying hard to calm himself down, thinking twice about how he was going to handle this. "Y/N, please, just try to trust me on this."

You scoffed disbelievingly, shaking your head as you quickly made your way further into the apartment and over to your TV. Taehyung's eyebrows furrowed as he watched you reach towards the shelf underneath it. It was adorned with cherished photos of the people you both held most dear; family, friends, the boys. Most of them consisted of Taehyung entertaining his love for photography, having snapped stunning photos of scenery, people or a combination of both he adored enough to frame.

But many were of you two, either in front of gorgeous landscapes or adorable candids. You picked up a photograph of you two in Daegu—Taehyung's big arms enveloping yours from behind as you hooked onto them, all smiles in front of his family's strawberry farm after his camera’s timer snapped the photo.

“See this? This is something you did for us, you told me you only take and frame photos of the most beautiful moments in your life, and you gave this to me telling me it was your favourite moment.” You placed the frame down, opting to grab the gray Sherpa blanket off the couch in front of you.

“This? You got this for me after I was diagnosed with anemia during Christmas and had been shivering for months. You told me not to worry because you’d always keep me warm and whenever you weren’t there I could use this blanket instead, think of it as you. You did that for me.” You disregarded the blanket and held up your wrist.

“This bracelet? You got it for our anniversary and made it our equivalent of promise rings because you know I hate rings. You even made sure your bracelet matched in a way that other people wouldn't notice and was only special to us." You watched as Taehyung slightly lifted his left hand to look at the mentioned bracelet. "You did that for me, for us.” Tears were brimming your eyes as you spoke, voice growing shaky.

“Taehyung, you did all those sweet and thoughtful things for us, for me. Those are the kinds of things you should be doing, not fucking hurting me by acting like I don't matter to you, making me question everything. What’s wrong with you? How could you scare me like that? Treat me like I’m nothing and say it’s for our relationship?”

“You're not, you're not nothing." Taehyung's voice caught in his throat, trying hard to dry his glassy eyes.

"I get it, Y/N. I fucking get it, what I’m doing right now may not seem as sweet as all those other things, but I promise it’s as thoughtful, it's still all for you. I’m serious when I say that, this is all because I love you. Why can’t you just believe me?”

"And why can’t you just say what it is? Why won't you tell me? Are you hiding something? Taehyung, what you did felt like anything but love-"

"That’s not true. The reason is insignificant right now because I didn't mean to hurt you, I’m so fucking sorry.” Taehyung's voice shook with genuity, trying once again to approach you, gingerly, affectionately.

Your anger couldn’t subside with the way he kept side-tracking, however, your emotions growing erratic again. "Are you kidding me? Insignificant? The reason is the most important! Just tell me, why did you ignore me for an entire fucking month?!”

"I said it's not fucking important right now. I want to apologize first, I didn’t mean to do it!" Taehyung was desperate to reason, eyes begging you to believe him.

“It is important! Tell me what you’re hiding.”

“It’s not important.”

“Yes it is!”

“No it isn’t!”

“Yes it is!”

“No it isn’t! I'm trying to earn your forgiveness firs-Y/N, what are you.." Taehyung’s eye widened in shock.

He couldn't finish his sentence because he watched you grab a cushion from the couch and suddenly launch it in his direction.

"What the fuck? What are you doing?!” Taehyung exclaimed as he dodged, his large hands instinctively catching the object, looking at you like a confused puppy. “Did you just throw that at me?!”

“I did! And I'll do it again until you tell me what you’re hiding!” You challenged him like a child and started reaching for throwable things. Pens, notepads, books, even a stray plastic water bottle all went hurtling towards Taehyung.

You couldn’t stop throwing out of frustration, his unfair gift of ambidextrous hands and incredible catching skills making you even more frustrated.

Did he really have to be made so fucking perfect?

He continued defending himself from your attacks until he grew annoyed, “For the love of God, Y/N, stop throwing shit! Just put everything down and listen to me, you have to trust me before I can even explain myself!” Taehyung shouted more so with concern for you, dodging a bottle of vitamins.

Now why the fuck was that just lying around?

You snorted condescendingly, "Again with that, trust you?" You mocked as the TV remote came into your hand.

"You know what, Taehyung? Let me explain for you, you’ve just found someone new who's not fucking staff, haven’t you? Our relationship got too difficult and you’ve finally had enough. You’re hiding shit to save my feelings, aren’t you?” You accused him much to your dismay, angry tears pooling in your eyes.

"What-no! Fuck no I would never do or think any of that!" Taehyung vehemently denied, finally having reached you and wrestled you for the remote. He eventually pried it out of your hands, throwing it away and holding your wrists as you resisted him.

"It’s none of that, alright? I was just so damn stressed and I had way too much work. There’s so much going on, it fucks with me and I didn't want to make you my fucking mental care, unload my idol life crap onto you. You're working just as hard and I didn't want to burden you.” Taehyung desperately revealed trying to reach you, upset that you could even think such ridiculous, lowly things of him.

"Don't you dare use work as an excuse. I know you were busy and stressed, but you were making time for everyone else in your life except me. Just say it, Tae. I know you're tired of us!"

"Fucking-Y/N, it's literally not that at all. I was actually busy, okay? What I said is true!" Taehyung pleaded, he knew he was only telling part of the truth, but it wasn't exactly a lie.

"It can't just be that, there's no way. What are you hiding from me? I'm serious, I'll leave this conversation if you don't, I'll leave this apartment if you don't-”

"No! Just-alright! You really wanna know so badly?” Taehyung inquired rhetorically, his jaw locking. “Fine then. You fucking got found out.”

You stopped fighting him and blinked, confusion riddling all your features. Taehyung sighed deeply and continued before you could say anything.

“We got too comfortable, okay? I'm still an idol and our team heard a shit ton of rumours spreading outside the company about me dating someone. They controlled most and knew any remaining ones would just turn into baseless gossip since nobody knew your identity. I’d just get talked about which I didn't care about. But people somehow started finding your face, your name, and your information was spreading fast. Management was scared you'd be made public especially with reporters and cameras so up our asses these days and watching us. I was terrified when they told me. I couldn't let anyone know you, not when they’d do or say shit to you just because we're together… so I had to do something."

Now it was your turn to stand in shock for several seconds, utterly wide-eyed at the bullet you didn't even know Taehyung was keeping from you.

“What-what the fuck? What do you mean? When did this happen?"

"The same time I started 'ignoring' you. Nobody pressured me to break up with you, but I was warned to dissolve the rumours asap. I took matters into my own hands by acting the way I did to get people thinking we were either broken up or never dating in the first place. I hated doing it.. but it started working. I didn't want to tell you anything because I knew you'd just say we could solve everything together when we weren't in a position to do so." Taehyung wasn't hiding his clear anguish, upset having to recall his awful memories of the ordeal.

You were still shocked at how little you knew, finding yourself at least understanding of his actions and reasoning, but crossed your mind better ways to have dealt with this; especially ones that didn't entail hurting you.

"But Taehyung, you should've let me known. If you had just told me I wouldn't have gotten hurt like this. Why would you keep this from me?"

"I just.. I couldn't tell you. It felt like I was breaking up with you and I couldn't handle it. Even when I finally had the balls to do it I ended up prolonging because I just got so busy and pushed everything away to focus. I felt like I could deal with it on my own, fix it all by myself. I didn't want to drop this on you when you were busy too."

You exhaled harshly, hating how unfair this entire situation was. "You could’ve told me with something like this, Taehyung. I can't just let you carry the burden all on your own, this entire problem had to do with me. We promised we wouldn’t keep shit from each other especially considering the circumstances of our relationship. Why would you break that promise?" Your eyes welled up again, inhaling painfully.

Taehyung paused, scoffing humorlessly. "Yeah? I broke that promise? Jagi...you broke that promise too."

You blinked again, his eyes piercing yours poignantly as you could only look back at him in defeat.

He was right.

He was entirely right, you hid your feelings from him and never told him anything, a clear violation of that promise on your end. But you couldn't let his wrongdoings go either, not on this; the hurt, the doubt, the thoughts he made you think. That pain was making you fall apart and the reality of it all came crashing down on you. "An apology still can’t fix this, Taehyung. I want to go to bed, we'll talk about this tomorrow.”

You pulled away and moved towards your room until Taehyung rushed in front of you, grabbing onto your arms.

“Wait! This isn’t over, baby please, just listen to me.”

“It is for today, Taehyung. I can't do this right now.”

“No, I don’t want tomorrow. I want this now, I want to talk to you now.” Taehyung insisted with what seemed like his entire being. He didn't want to spend tonight like this; he didn't want you to sleep upset, and neither did he.

“Taehyung, you’re making me repeat myself. Let me go, please. I’m exhausted.” You choked on your words, swiping your tears.

“No, I told you I’m not fucking letting you go, especially not now.” He gripped you stubbornly, searching for your eyes.

“Taehyung, for the love of God just let me go-”

“I said no!” Taehyung's volume suddenly pierced the room, his intense aura stilling you.

He didn't sound angry. rather in need, like he was calling out to you with his entire heart and the tight hold on your arms gave it all away.

You finally decided to pay attention to him. His tone beyond serious, his eyes swimming with worry. His miserable face and refusal to let you go regrettably softened you. You understood him, saw the desperation and concern behind all his actions.

But he chose to neglect you. He made you feel alone, made you overthink numerous possibilities about your relationship and even question his feelings for you.

"You.." You exhaled with agony, swallowing hard.

None of this was easy, the nights you spent curled up on the couch overthinking, lying to everyone that you were okay, working in the studio alone to get him off your mind, blaming yourself. The accumulated pain of all those days now manifested in your chest all at once, making your heart ache.

"You made me feel like I wasn't important to you, like I wasn't worth your time. I.. thought you found someone better, easier.. that I wasn't enough for you." Your voice crumbled by the second, your mind jumping to the one conclusion you tried to avoid the most but couldn't any longer.

"I thought you weren't in love with me anymore."

Taehyung's heart shattered into a million pieces, overwhelming hurt piercing his chest so violently that tears instantly betrayed his eyes.

He couldn't bear any of this anymore, the tension, the distance, couldn't bear that you ever thought such an awful thing. Small tears escaped him as he gently placed his hands on your face, looking into your eyes with insurmountable pain before colliding his lips with yours.

He kissed you tenderly, passionately, like his mouth was dying to express how much he'd missed you, and trying harder to prove how utterly wrong your last words were. Before you could even reject him, you found your own lips mirroring the same longing, the same need after a painful month apart.

Your eyes fluttered shut as tears stained your cheeks, the sheer love you could feel in his kiss suddenly brightening any parts inside you that had grown dark because of him. He began working against your mouth hungrily, trying to commit every inch of your lips to his memory.

The kiss was fervent, utterly desperate, your harsh breaths mingling together as his hands on your cheeks wiped your tears away gingerly and yours clutched his hoodie tightly.

It's like he was consuming all of you, attempting to deepen the kiss with every second that passed by as he pulled you closer. And for once this past month, you didn't feel like questioning his feelings for you, because he was now serving them on a silver platter, making it blatantly obvious he had never once lost his love for you and will never do so.

He kissed you like he wanted you and only you, he kissed you like you were fleeting and could disappear at any moment, he kissed you like you were his home, like you meant any and everything to him, like you were the only galaxy he believed in and it did nothing but set you both ablaze.

His tongue swiped your bottom lip impatiently, wanting to taste you after so long and you permitted absent-mindedly, damning every emotion except love and lust to hell, welcoming him.

His tongue entangled with yours sloppily as you slid your hands up his sculpted neck, a soft groan escaping Taehyung's lips once you tugged his hair.

It wasn't until Taehyung caught your bottom lip between his teeth that you felt something ignite inside you. You both panted as you disconnected, gazing at his dark eyes for a mere second before impatiently crashing your mouth onto his again.

This time you caught him for a heated make out session, pulling his hair aimlessly as Taehyung pressed you against him with his arms snaking around your waist, both of you moving perfectly in sync with one other. The feeling of your bodies so close ignited your arousals, currents running through both your veins.

Taehyung pushed you back against the nearest wall, hard. You nearly yelped at the contact but Taehyung swallowed it with his eager kisses, getting rougher, sloppier, growing high off the feeling of you wanting more, him wanting so much more.

He brought his thigh in between you, pushing his hips against yours and you felt his hardness through his sweatpants. Your panties practically soaked at the contact, your moans devastatingly loud and hot and only making Taehyung harder.

He brought his hands down to cup your ass momentarily as he kissed you, sliding them to the back of your thighs. You kicked yourself off the ground into his hold, legs grappling Taehyung's waist as he forced you back up against the wall. Your hands grabbed his jaw tightly, wanting all of him as your tongues moulded together.

Taehyung felt his urges to touch you overwhelm him, utterly dying to hear you desperately say his name and moan breathlessly into his ear. He had gone too long, far too long without feeling you lose yourself to him that he needed you now.

One of Taehyung's impatient hands moved up to fumble with the button of your jeans, disconneting to look into your eyes, his pink, swollen lips irresistible.

"Have you been touching yourself?" He breathed hard and asked mere centimeters your mouth, forehead leaning on yours.

"B-barely. I couldn't get myself off the same way." You exhaled harshly trying to calm down, mind woozy from the sheer adrenaline he was pumping through you. "You?"

"Tried, but nothing felt like you."

Taehyung returned his lips to yours breathlessly and unzipped roughly, sliding his hand inside and finding your already sopping wet heat. His fingers made contact through the soaked material and you let out a satisfied moan, throwing your head back against the wall. Taehyung chuckled proudly, pressing his lips to your exposed neck as he began lewdly rubbing your folds.

Your walls clenched around nothing, begging for something to fill you up. You shamelessly rode against his fingers, desperate for more friction and Taehyung absolutely adored how needy you were.

He smirked to himself as he pushed your underwear aside, his fingertips suddenly touching your bare pussy and you automatically felt sparks, gasping.

Taehyung felt your delicious wetness and a satisfied groan left his lips. He couldn’t stop rubbing you, playing with your folds like it was a game he mastered ages ago. His digits spread you all over yourself, teasing you. He purposefully brushed over your clit multiple times and you felt nothing but fireworks, the heat between your legs growing so hot you clutched onto his shoulders to stay sane.

"Fuck.. Taehyung fuck! If you go inside.. I can't.. I'll fucking lose it." You stammered out, trying to relax but Taehyung eyed your panting figure with a smirk so evil you wished he'd just fuck you against this wall right now.

Taehyung brought his lips to your ear and spoke lowly, the bass in his voice sending chills down your spine.

"Then fucking lose it."

Without warning, Taehyung shoved his two fingers inside you, a smug grin decorating his gorgeous face as he watched you nearly cry out, gripping harder into his hair and shoulder for dear life. His fingers began sliding in and out, your walls welcoming him greedily as he pumped you, milking out every beautiful sound you could make for him as he relished in them.

Taehyung was already the hardest man on Earth, his cock painfully tucked away in his pants and aching to be inside you. You brought your forehead against his for support as he went harder, your breaths melding as you panted fucked out moans from the sheer bliss of his long fingers, just something of his dragging inside you.

Your body moved up against the rougher thrusts of his fingers, practically fucking you open and the delectable sting certifying you’d lost it for Kim Taehyung.

You suddenly felt your insides beginning to stir around him and you panicked, not wanting to let go just yet, just on his fingers.

"T-Taehyung.. shit.. I can feel but- but not just on this." Your head was so gone a coherent sentence seemed impossible. Taehyung's fingers curled up inside you as he pumped a little harder, faster, making you whimper against his mouth and he used every ounce of strength he had not to swallow them with kisses, just so he could hear you.

"Taehyung, please.." You moaned loudly and held onto him so desperately that Taehyung finally snapped, his dick throbbing to have you wrapped around him and hear his name just like that.

"Fuck this." Taehyung pulled his fingers out and carried you straight into your room.

He threw you down onto the bed hurriedly, his eyes blown out as he positioned himself above you. You breathed unevenly as you looked up at him, his body rising and falling quickly as he tried to control himself and his hungry look made you push your thighs together.

The sight of your flushed cheeks and panting body underneath him made Taehyung's dominant side thrive. He drank you in greedily, registering this as the first time in a month he had you all to himself.

"You don't fucking know, Y/N. All those times I had to hold back. When you walked around the studio looking sexy as hell, moving your body like pure sin, and I couldn't do a single thing to you." Taehyung's dark eyes indicated something had awakened inside him.

"What do you mean?"

Taehyung scoffed, "You just don't get it." He mimicked you from earlier. “I was putting on a front and none of it was true. Every fucking time I saw you I wanted to lose it. Every time I saw you concentrating with that look, working, seeing your exposed skin, all the times I caught you practically eye-fucking me and I wanted to eye-fuck you back." Taehyung breathed out, voicing his pent up tension.

"But you know what was worse? The times I saw you laughing with fucking Jungkook, screwing around with Jin-hyung, the guys acting so close with you. Watching back-up dancers eye-fuck you, hearing all their fucking comments about how hot you are, people asking if you’re single now, and I couldn't do shit because everyone was always around, watching." Taehyung breathed frustratedly, dangerous eyes locked on you.

"You know I don't get openly jealous, but my blood still boils under my skin when I see or hear those things, especially when I can’t do anything about it. I wanted you.. so badly, just wanted to take you right there in front of everyone if I could.." Taehyung nearly growled as his head hung low, entangling his hands with yours and squeezing them on the bed.

"Then why didn't you?"

Taehyung's eyes flashed up amusedly, "Why didn’t-you wanted me to do something in front of everyone?” His confusion softened into a little smirk.

“You wanted to be watched, huh?" Taehyung lowered himself to your ear. "Wanted everyone see the way I fuck you? See the way I make you mine? Fuck you open for me?” Taehyung was setting your core on fire and you had to bite your lip.

He noticed and hated that his lips weren't on yours, quickly planting them for a kiss.

The weight of Taehyung's leg pushing against your throbbing heat started compromising your sense of control, wanting to rile him up so bad he'll have no choice but to give you what you want.

"Fuck, this is what I've been waiting for. Teasing you under me, cumming just from my fingers and tongue, fucking you senseless until you’re cumming again." Taehyung's words were filthy as ever and you loved every syllable.

"Then do it."

He smiled smugly as his mouth moved to the one spot on your neck he knew leaves you squirming. Curses left your mouth the second you felt his teeth, Taehyung adamant on leaving deep, purple marks.

“I'm gonna show everyone you're mine, only mine.” Taehyung’s authoritative voice came out breathy as he kissed and bit in between, obsessed with seeing the art he was creating.

"Shit… Taehyung yes, I missed you, I missed you so fucking much." You desperately stammered out.

"I fucking missed you too, baby." He smiled, his dark eyes glancing from your zip-up sweater and back to you. "But first, off."

Your hands moved for the zipper until Taehyung caught your wrists and forced them back against the bed, obsidian eyes scolding you.

"That's my job." Taehyung spoke dominantly, hot as fuck as he stared at you while bringing his mouth down to your zipper.

His teeth caught it and slowly zipped down your body, pronouncedly breathing against your bare skin that made you hiss, arching up into him as he held your hands down.

Taehyung was welcomed by your bra-cladded chest, basking in the glory of seeing your body after so long. He began laying kisses in between your breasts, his every contact electric.

"Taehyung, please.. don't tease. It’s been so long."

"We'll see about that."

He reached a hand underneath your back to unclip your bra, practically ripping the clothes off you and chucking them.

Taehyung was heating up drinking you in, cursing at how even the sight of your naked top was making him somehow harder.

"Shit, Jagi. You're so fucking gorgeous." Taehyung stated with haste as his large hands found your thighs that rested either side of his hips. He then slowly slid them up your abdomen, cupping your breasts and fingering your nipples. Your hands reached out to hold onto him as you exclaimed but he roughly pinned them above you, restricting you.

He lowered himself to your chest for hickeys, kissing, licking, nibbling the flesh of your boobs. You arched and groaned as he held you down, sexually frustrated as he torturously teased you.

"Taehyung, please… you know what I want." You breathed out, your hands resisting but he kept denying you.

"You’re so fucking hot like this, so impatient and needy for me." Taehyung groaned, lapping his tongue over the flesh of your breasts until the tip of his tongue finally glided over your perched nipple.

You gasped at the contact, whimpering as your walls clenched around something non-existent and you bucked up into Taehyung. You could feel heat pooling at your core, begging to be battered as he sucked on your nipples, tongue doing wonders.

Marks now embellished your chest as he kissed down to your stomach affectionately and neared your lower half, exciting your opening.

Your eyes darted down and suddenly caught his length, poking out from his sweatpants and practically begging for attention.

He instantly took notice.

"No, princess. It’s about you tonight, not me, no touching." Taehyung ordered seriously, looking at you with a sense of dominance that only left you more aroused.

You made a whiny noise, "Why not? I want to make you feel good." You retorted, wiggling your hand out to touch him until Taehyung locked you down harder.

He clicked his tongue as he began pulling your pants and panties down your legs with one hand, his dark eyes chastising you, "We'll get to me another day." He disregarded them and let his hand feel up your thighs, bringing his face to your entrance.

"But right now, having you like this, begging-” he nipped at your inner thigh, “making those sounds-” he licked the marks, “wet as hell for me-” he sucked your flesh, “that's all I need." His tone dropped an octave, letting your wrists go and nearing your cunt inch by inch.

"Taehyung, fuck-don't do this. Please, it's been too long, don't tease.." You pleaded, hating the way he was shamelessly working you up.

"Do you need me, baby?" Taehyung watched your breath hitch as he kissed around your nether lips. "Need to feel me inside you? Stretch you out? Fuck the shit out of you?" His low, dark tone made butterflies fill your abdomen and all you could manage was a light nod.

"Tell me, Jagiya. Tell me what you want from me, where you want me.." Taehyung breathed against your soaked pussy and you shivered, beyond impatient.

"Y-your tongue, your cock, Taehyung, you. Please..I can’t do this.. just fuck me, make me come all over you.." You rambled and looked at Taehyung through hooded eyes. You grabbed one of his hands and brought him directly to your dripping heat, rubbing him against your slit unforgivingly.

Taehyung groaned proudly, "Good girl. I'll fuck you so good you’ll feel me for hours, so hard I’ll have to carry you to rehearsals myself." Taehyung's filthy words rang in your ears.

A loud moan escaped you once Taehyung's pillowy lips and tongue pressed onto your pussy, your breath hitching as his muscle began licking into your folds. Taehyung hooked onto your thighs from underneath, parting your legs wider for him. Your hands found his broad shoulders for support and you tugged at his hoodie frantically, whining.

"Taehyung, off.."

Taehyung drew away from you to slide his top off. He threw the sweater mindlessly as he returned, deciding to sink two fingers inside you as his tongue began licking. His newly exposed skin made you feel more aroused, tugging his soft curls to manage the bliss he was supplying you.

His tongue licked you like he was starving, sucking and flicking your clit occasionally as his fingers curled up inside your velvety walls. You felt like crying, after such a long time the pleasure was already building up inside you and so intense you needed to let go.

"Taehyung-Tae.. I feel it. Don't stop..." You moaned weakly, your orgasm dawning on you as Taehyung quickened his pace. His dark eyes watched you through his fluffy fringe and it was intoxicating, had you throwing your head back against the pillow just to contain yourself.

"Come for me baby, come all over my tongue and fingers. I wanna hear you.” Taehyung cooed at you as he pumped and the tip of his tongue played with your clit faster, soothing your thigh and adoring the wet mess in between you. Your loud moans and groans sent shivers down Taehyung's spine and blood straight to his cock.

The familiar sensation of something coiling came to you, gripping Taehyung's hair until you saw stars and felt a fierce snap, the unholiest of noises leaving you as your back arched. You panted hard, bringing an arm up to shield your eyes, the pleasure of your high dizzying as Taehyung watched you, tasting and fingering out your orgasm.

He kissed your entrance multiple times before he decided he was done. He straightened himself up and wiped your juices off his chin, licking your essence off him. Feeling you come undone on his mouth made him go feral, needing to feel your walls hug his cock just the same.

He positioned himself above you, gently moving your arm from your face.

"Don't hide from me." he spoke softly, intertwining his hands with yours against the pillow to adore your fucked out expression.

You admired him innocently in the moment, his honey-coloured skin kissed by the moonlight radiating through the windows. The expanse of his broad chest and shoulders looking more bulky now that he was working out, his thick neck, the beautifully visible veins in his arms that all created the art that was Kim Taehyung.

Your eyes scanned over him greedily until you landed on his lower half, the tent in his pants looking so painful you again ached to relieve it.

Taehyung eyed you as you licked your lips, boldly reaching out for his dick. You touched sparingly, Taehyung instantly letting out a pleasurable groan until he caught your hand.

"What did I say? You never fucking listen, do you?" Taehyung brat-handled you, his alpha male on full display.

“What if I don’t want to listen?” You disobeyed and reached out again, gaining full contact until he grabbed and forced your hand against the sheets.

“I’ll make you regret that."

Taehyung quickly shuffled his pants and boxers down and past his hips, disregarding them and leaving him bare before you.

Your eyes began ogling the angry, red tipped cock that had sprung out, looking painfully uncomfortable and leaving you wishing Taehyung had just fucked your mouth just watch him suffer. He was already leaking precum, making you whimper at the thought of him coming inside you.

Taehyung positioned himself in between your legs, bringing his dick to your entrance. He tried to bite away a mischievous grin before sliding his cock against your folds to mix your wetness with his.

"Shit, Jagi, you're so fucking wet." Taehyung moaned with you at the pleasurable feeling.

"Fuck, Taehyung…I can’t, I need.. inside." Your sentence was mangled, his hot flesh against you heavenly.

"Shit, saying my name like that..I’ll fuck you so hard you’ll feel me in your throat." Taehyung growled, gripping the base of his cock and aligning himself with your entrance. You readied yourself until Taehyung stopped, a thought suddenly popping into his head.

"Wait, you got your shot this month, right? You're okay with raw?" He asked with no particular haste, concern glossing over his eyes.

Taehyung's chest suddenly tightened realizing he didn't even know something as simple as you getting your shot, important to him since your phobia of needles was so bad you usually needed to hold his hand or talk to him on the phone.

But he was so busy this month he couldn't do either.

"Of course, Taehyung, of course I did." You breathed out erratically, trying to calm down after his tormenting cock sliding. You gave his hand that held yours against the bed a squeeze, wishing he would begin battering your insides already.

"Fuck, I know how much you're afraid of needles.. I should've been there." Taehyung became disappointed in himself, eyes faltering from yours.

You immediately grew soft, "Taehyung.. it's okay, if it's for you then I'm not so scared. Don't worry, bubs." You said as you let go of his hands to cup his cheeks, searching for his eyes.

"But you get them just for me..even though you're so scared. I love you for that." Taehyung doted on you as he tucked your hair behind your ear, completely contrasting his cock about to abuse you.

"Taehyung, baby it’s okay, I'm okay. I'm with you right now. I want everything you thought of, everything you want with me… I want you." You looked into his doe eyes tinted with guilt, offering him a smile.

Taehyung returned a light smile of his own, pressing a feathery kiss to your lips before he grabbed the base of his cock again. He gripped your hand hard as his dick compromised your opening.

He hissed once he sank in, the feeling of your pussy opening up for him eliciting a drawn out 'fuck' to leave his mouth.

Taehyung could feel how tight you were after a month without him; you weren't as stretched out and he felt drunk. The way your walls hugged his rock hard dick so snug, so intoxicating he wanted to completely lose control but refrained with you in mind.

You thought you were used to the pleasurable burn of Taehyung's gifted size, already aware of how well-endowed he is but you suddenly felt a harsh sting and forced your hands against his chest, exasperating. Taehyung immediately stopped, widening his eyes in concern.

"Are you okay?"

"Just-just give me a second." He nodded, feeling your breaths calm down as he soothed over your arm, your walls relaxing

"Y-you can move." You voiced weakly.

Taehyung complied and moved in considerately, failing to suppress the low groans that left him. He finally bottomed out and hit your cervix, both of you letting out satisfied grunts at the feeling of him buried so deep. He could feel the way your walls pulsed around him to adjust, adding to his lists of reasons he was insane for you.

Taehyung kissed you as he began fucking gently, slowly, wanting to feel the way you wrapped around him, craving for you to feel every inch, groove and vein of his cock.

The feeling of him slowly and languidly thrusting inside you felt otherworldly, the longing, the care, the love in his movements so apparent you grappled the back of his neck to hug him closer. Taehyung rocked himself against you, laying deep kisses to your mouth.

"Fuck, baby.. you're so tight." Taehyung breathed out, unable to hold back his sense of control, gradually fastening his pace to fuck you better, feel more.

"How does it feel, princess, tell me." Taehyung cooed into your ear, now kissing underneath your jaw. Your lewd noises grew louder as he began pumping faster and Taehyung looked at you.

"Shit, Taehyung. I-I feel so fucking good. You fill me up so good… want more.” You practically whined, head spinning at his intoxicating pace, wrapping your legs around Taehyung's torso to feel him deeper.

Taehyung weakened at the feeling, kissing your lips with fervor and now thrusting faster as his need to come undone racked his balls, but aching to treat you first. His skin was imprinted with your scratches, him only fucking you faster in response.

"Harder, Taehyung, fuck me harder..!" Your voice trailed with a mewl, kissing him sloppily as your desire for more of him grew unbearable.

Taehyung smirked against your lips, "You want it harder, huh? You like that? Want me to fuck up your insides? Batter this pussy up?"

"Y-yes, Taehyung, please."

Taehyung already felt fucked out, wrestling with your tongue as he wrapped his arms around your torso and pressed you flush against him. You both groaned louder as his pace turned unforgiving, 99% sure your neighbours could hear every lewd sound.

"Taehyung.. fuck. I missed you. I missed you so much!” You spoke without a thought, light-headed but hyper aware of just how much you wanted him, needed him, not only with his cock buried inside you but just him, so close to you.

"Shit, baby.. I missed you more. So much. So fucking much, you don’t even know." Taehyung growled desperately as he fucked deeper, kissed harder, his tone coated with sincerity.

Both your confessions made for rougher fucking, nasty tongue kissing, tighter grasps on each other. You rutted against one another shamelessly, movements faltering in precision and more so in desperation as Taehyung shoved himself inside you.

And he watched as he did, seeing the way he disappeared into you between your bodies and enjoying the way you bounced in response.

"Taehyung, fuck, Taehyung.." You moaned out his name breathlessly as you gripped his shoulders, feeling your abdomen flood with heat as his cock kissed your cervix.

"Jagiya, fucking-watch it, say my name like that again and I'll fuck the living shit out of you." Taehyung warned with a growl as he rammed into you.

"T-Taehyung.."

“Such a bad fucking girl."

His arms suddenly locked you down in place, holding you tight as he began the roughest, hardest thrusts you've felt all night. Taehyung deliberately pulled all the way out only to smash back in as he felt your body jerk up in response, swallowing your whimpers.

Your moans were loud, ringing in your own ears as you felt yourself losing your sanity. He snapped into your gut, filled you up so good all you could feel was him. Your orgasm was bubbling in your stomach, begging for release now.

"Taehyung, I'm gonna- fuck, I'm gonna come!” You warned him with a pitchy yelp, the tingling feeling unbearable as his body rubbed against your clit.

"Come for me, baby, all over my fucking cock, Let me feel you." Taehyung encouraged as he desperately tried to hold his own load, wanting nothing but to witness the way you came underneath him.

And out of nowhere your second orgasm washed over you, barely noticing the snap as you ached from oversensitivity and protested him to a halt. Taehyung controlled himself as your walls continuously clamped down on him, watching you pant from fatigue.

But he decided on your punishment and suddenly flipped you onto your stomach, instinctively settling on all fours as you felt him prod your entrance. He pushed you to arch your back and pulled your ass up, giving a nice smack before kissing up your back like the demon he is. He sank in with no warning and began drilling into you again, setting a merciless pace and angling himself to fuck you completely open.

“T-Taehyung, what are you doing!”

“You’re coming for me again.”

“I can’t- Taehyung I can’t!” Your hand quickly came down to entangle with his on your hip, his deft fingers boring into your skin as he mercilessly buried every inch of his cock into you.

“You can do it! Just one more time for me princess, let go for me.” He coaxed you as he felt your walls pulsating around him again, his arms hugging your body to his and mouth breathing unevenly near your ear.

"Taehyung, Ah- fuck! C-come inside me, please!”

"Shit, I’ll stuff you with my cum, fucking give you my kids!” Taehyung grunted as he continued bartering your pussy, reaching down to roughly rub your clit. You cried out, half from sensitivity but half from pure pleasure, gripping his hand hard.

You felt the coil coming back for a third time and Taehyung’s encourgements were doing absolute wonders. "Taehyung-shit I’m gonna..fuck!”

Once he delivered a particularly hard, deep thrust with his hand on your clit, you gasped out his name as another orgasm released through your body, temporarily blinding you with bliss. Your legs grew weak as you buried your face into the pillow, trying to catch your breath.

“Just like that, baby, just like that.” Taehyung spoke supportively as he thrusted one last time before finally coming inside you, helping you ride out your climax. He groaned into your ear as he spurted hot stripes of cum inside you. You squeezed his hand on your stomach that still held you up, feeling him milk himself of every drop he had racked up just for you.

Once Taehyung felt completely vacant of his seed, relief washed over him as he kissed your upper back, both of your bodies lax and panting for air.

"You're amazing." Taehyung tried steadying his breathing, beaming as he hugged you from behind, cock still throbbing inside you. "I fucking… I held that back for so long."

"You didn’t have to… I would've thrown myself at you if you just came home." You breathed shallowly. "Could've done whatever you wanted.. I planned...on treating you cause you were so stressed."

Taehyung rolled his eyes at himself, "Ugh-don’t remind me. I already feel dumb as fuck."

You turned your head back and scolded jokingly, "Don't call yourself dumb, only I get to say that." A soft giggle escaped him as he let you go. Taehyung slowly pulled out and watched as he did so, viewing the mess in between your legs with admiration.

Taehyung swiped the cum dripping down your thighs back into your core, completely stuffing you with him until he brought his fingers to your lips. He watched you lick provocatively, his breath hitching at the sight until needing to pull his fingers out.

He then quickly made off the bed and ambled over to the bathroom, retrieving a damp towel and cleaning you up gingerly. He plopped down next to you after discarding it and threw an arm over his eyes.

You turned to look at him, feeling the butterflies of him next to you flood your chest. You wiggled closer and propped yourself on an elbow to gaze at him, your other arm laying on his chest.

Taehyung felt your eyes on him and spoke without looking. "Hi."

"Hi," you moved his arm from his face, echoing him. "Don’t hide from me."

Taehyung grinned at you, lifting his arm. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like you're madly in love with me. Don’t do that, I don't really deserve it." He stated dejectedly, evading your eyes to rather view the night sky.

"Kim Taehyung, what did you just say to me?"

No response.

You sighed, "Bubs, look at me." requesting with a softer tone and he returned his eyes to you hesitantly. You wagged your finger at him.

"Don't say that, okay? Maybe you should’ve told me, maybe I should’ve been more vocal about my feelings, maybe we both should’ve just communicated. It's not only your fault, it's mine too so please don't say that." Your bottom lip jutted out and your eyes implored him, upset that he was insulting himself.

He deserved every ounce of love in this world.

"Maybe.. I just..Fuck, you need to know I hated doing it, okay? Every time I saw you in that building I was dying to be with you, but I had to hold back to protect you. I couldn’t bear something happening to you, and please, please don’t think I don’t love you anymore. I do, I love you more than you’ll ever know. If I could throw all of this away for you I would." Taehyung spoke sincerely, remembering the way he saw you admit such an awful thought and he hated that he was the cause of it.

"You really don’t know how hard it was. I’m writing lyrics for my mixtape and they all end up about you. We're out at a photoshoot and I always wanted to send you pictures. I didn’t use SNS, call or text you because I knew it’d just be harder for me to create that stupid ass distance.” Taehyung ran a hand through his hair as he sighed, frustrated about it.

“Even when I was shooting commercials I thought about your reactions if you saw them. I missed you the whole time, more than you know. I just couldn’t risk anything, there was so much on the line with you and I wasn’t going to give you up. Work got in the way and there was so much happening and I just-"

“Shh shhh.” You calmed him down reaching for his cheek. “Thank you for that. I'm sorry you had to do everything by yourself, had to carry all that responsibility alone." Your lips quivered, catching Taehyung's attention.

"No, it's okay. I'm the one who made you think all those shitty things. I do find you annoying, but I could never find you that annoying." Taehyung quipped to lighten the mood and you smacked his chest.

"Hey!"

"I'm kidding, Jagi." Taehyung chuckled before letting out a long, hard sigh. "I was just so swamped with this comeback, I’m working really hard for it and got too focused." He explained regretfully, tucking his hands underneath his head.

"So you just thought fuck me for a little while, right?"

"Wha-no I didn't, I mean.. I did just fuck you but-not like that…shit, just come here!” Taehyung suddenly turned onto his side and threw his arms out, you scooted over to him instantly, giggling. He tightly wrapped his arms around you and hugged you close, pressing his lips to your hair and you kissed his shoulder.

Your hand absentmindedly found his and you intertwined them, causing a warm and comforting feeling to spread across your chest.

You found yourself becoming smaller in his hold, clutching his hand to compose yourself because you didn't feel like ruining a passionate night with tears.

Nonetheless, Taehyung sensed you growing vulnerable and pulled you on top of him, your naked bodies flush against one another. Taehyung immediately showered you with comfort, clutching you close to him.

"I’m not going anywhere, you’re with me for a lifetime, Jagiya." The smooth bass of Taehyung's voice eased you, reverberating from his chest as he senselessly soothed your back.

"Please, don't do that again. Please just tell me next time when there's a problem, I'll tell you too and we can work it out together." A hint of desperation tinted your tone, shutting your lips together to prevent yourself from crying.

"I won't, baby, I promise." Taehyung hugged you a little tighter, running a hand through your hair.

"I love you, Taehyung."

"I love you, Y/N."

#taehyung x reader #taehyung smut #kim taehyung x reader #bts smut #taehyung scenario #taehyung fanfic #kim taehyung #first fic #thebtswritersclub

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