#but sometimes i am just like. what happened here. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

marxo-fm · 2 days

Text

Mild Sweet

✯ Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: Your dad hosts a welcoming party for a good friend who’s coming back from Seattle after quite some time. BBQs, drinks, dancing, and a good ol' time. Until you realize the friend, is your secret crush. A silly little crush that turned into something more, but you've kept it a secret most of the time. What happens when you two rekindle and talk, and that secret is unable to be kept in for any longer?

Warnings: MDNI+18, mentions of adult themes and language, mentions of alcohol and swearing, smut with slight plot, afab!reader age gap (reader-late twenties, Joel-early forties), praising, pet names, no use of y/n, fingering, talking you through it, oral!f-receiving, fear of getting caught, no descriptions of race/ethnicity, skin color, hair type/length, or body type.

Words: 1.8k

A/N: Long awaited, I apologize, but I hope that with this fic--you can forgive me. Life has been hectic, but I am on break finally, so I chose to use this time to feed my deprived peeps. I hope you all enjoy reading this, just as much as I enjoyed writing this. Thank you!

Update: This has been sitting in my drafts since the dawn of time, I’m not on break anymore, I GRADUATED, I have all the free time now. Just wanted to clarify if I go missing again, it’s going to be because of college. That’s all, thank you, you may continue. -if this is bad, I’m sorry, this was from months ago. Go easy on meeeee.

—

“Well yeah hun, I sure am hosting a barbecue party. I don’t care if it’s damn near hot enough for my skin to fall off, I am going to host it.” Protested your dad as he chugged his second can of beer. He won’t tell you further details, which confused you since you had every right to know. Not only because you’re his daughter, but because you’d like to know who the hell this mystery friend is that your father keeps talking about. Says it’s to be kept a surprise until he finally makes it to San Antonio. Which, by the way, you don’t even know when that’ll be either.

“Is this barbecue party even going to happen? Or are you just going to pass it off to someone else in this neighborhood?” The two of you stood eye to eye in the agonizing heat of Texas. Hell, you’re used to it, but it sure did make you frustrated. The humidity didn’t help either. Flies were everywhere and yellow grass that used to be bright green surrounded your home, it used to be a shade of green similar to a green highlighter—in spring that was. You look at the grass and back at your dad, who left the conversation and went to his truck. He opens the passenger seat and shouts, “Get your butt in here, we gotta get the supplies ready for this damn barbecue!” His country accent cuts through sharper than any knife.

It’s hard to take him seriously sometimes.

“Remember when you told me you didn’t need my help?”

Your dad looks at you with an eyebrow raised and back at the road.

“Kid, don’t make me rethink my choice now. I only said that because sometimes your ol’ man likes to do things his way. Cause’ you see, back in my day-”

“Back in my day, my daddy made me do all the hard work. Dad, I’ve heard this story many times growing up, I know.” You mocked, chuckling a little under your breath carefully trying to not chuckle too hard.

“Well, in that case, you’re right. But I’ll let you in on a little secret.” Your eyes widen in surprise, carefully leaning over the console of your dad’s truck. What could this darn secret be?

“Remember my good ol’ friend, Joel Miller? That good-looking pal who’s just a few years younger than me? Well, he went over to Seattle with his kid, Sarah. Ya know, family bonding time and whatnot.” Your dad lost his focus looking at his rearview mirror and blindspots before turning left, then continued, “Fortunately, he’s coming back to San Antonio and I’m throwing this barbecue party to welcome him. I’m sure he’d love it, his kid too, and well of course–all of our friends included.”

Joel Miller. A name that went through your head a million times. Over and over.

A man you have had a long and forbidden crush for, a feeling that grew intense over time.

The feelings died down for a bit when he was gone for God knows how long, but they came back. And you don’t know how to feel about it.

“Okay, everything’s ready y’all just gotta set em’ up now. We don’t have much time.” Instructed your dad to his fellow friends and a few relatives. Other relatives were far too busy for the welcoming party. Out of all the other days your dad chooses to throw this party, it just has to be on a Sunday.

A few of your dad’s friends were preparing the meats, Joel was going to be here any minute now, and you grew hot. Unsure whether it was this agonizing heat of San Antonio, or if it was just you. Something about the way he walks, talks, looks, is what gets your gears moving. His gray hair, his voice, his body. Hell, at this point you’d rather have Joel for dinner rather than that damn barbecue. But you swore to keep yourself sane and still, especially in front of your dad. He’d surely laugh if he found out about your crush towards Joel, then switch to being confused…and finally, angry.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

Your dad walks up to you, handing you an apron. What in God’s earth is he making me do? Surely he wouldn’t make you prepare meats and have you cook them, after all, you just want to impress and look good for Joel. You bought an entirely new dress just for this damn welcoming party, hoping to somewhat catch his attention.

A short and light purple dress that reveals just enough.

God, this is pathetic. Dressing all pretty for man who wouldn’t even bat an eye at his good friend’s daughter. Or maybe, if you’re lucky enough, he might. You still have to greet him, so yes, you’re going to talk to him. It’s to respect him and it’s common sense since well—it is a welcoming party…

“He should be here any minute now hun, just put this apron on and go help out.”

“Do I have to? I mean, your nieces and nephews are over there sitting doing nothing. I’d rather prepare the table.”

Your dad looks over at your cousins then back at the table you insisted on doing. The table didn’t have any plates on it, nor did it have decorations.

“You’re right, the table does need some…stuff on it.”

You walk on over to prepare the table, when you a truck pull up from behind the fences of your backyard. That’s when you feel yourself sweating gallons and breathing heavier. You thought maybe it was just a neighbor, but you were proven wrong.

Joel Miller is here.

—

“Dad, Joel is here. I think.” Your dad looks at your in a state of shock, only because everything hasn’t been prepared yet and well, everyone is supposed to be hiding to surprise Joel.

“Y’all needa hide, Joel’s here. Drop everything and hide somewhere before he sees us!” Everyone—including yourself—go in hiding. You choose to hide under the table you were planning on finishing work at. Y’know, decorating it and all. But you were too late. You see everyone smiling or giggling in excitement, ready to surprise Joel. He hasn’t been in Texas for God knows how long; would you blame him?

You hear footsteps inching closer and closer, and that's when you hear him say, "anyone here?"

You and everyone else jump out from your hiding places, the word surprise didn't leave your mouth, your jaw just hung open instead.

He changed, looks more grunt than usual, but also happy because of the welcoming party. It irked you, but you ignored it.

The black shirt he wore fit nicely on his body, he must've worked out or something, his shoulders are broad. It gave you something to think about, and your face reddens. He finally looks at you, Joel was more focused on your face rather than your dress. He did acknowledge it, though, but...you looked different. Not in a bad way, just different. It must be the makeup style you chose to wear, or the purple dress that radiated your face. Either way, his look had you holding on to the table harder.

"Been so long pal, c'mere." People shared awkward glances, but it went away when Joel hugged your dad. They shared it for quite some time, but it was needed.

"m' I really this important that you threw a welcoming party?"

Your dad smiles, "sure is Joel, been so long ain't nothing for me to do other than drink my beers alone without ya. But you're finally here." He pats your dad on the shoulder with a smile, continuing their small talk before Joel greets the others.

You wondered why Joel hasn't greeted you yet, you felt as if you maybe did something wrong. Surely not, you scoff, as if he was here for anything like that. You don't know, but your head kept pestering you about it. His daughter is at a table full of friends and cousins, "at least his daughter greeted me." You innocently whispered under your breath, unaware that Joel heard you just across the table. You sat by your dad, so Joel heard it, but was already making plans to greet you some other way. You just had no clue yet.

You catch him eyeing your dress, and he notices you looking. You quickly shy away, but he chuckles and goes back to eating his food. Lust and heat pumped through your veins, and your heart was beating a hundred beats per minute. At any rate now, you're sure you'd have a heart attack.

He wasn't even doing anything. All he did was look at your outfit.

You did a good job at catching his attention, but the tension was far too much. The sexual tension. Did he feel the same? Or was he innocently looking? You look up to see him manspreading from the fulfilling dinner he just ate, his shirt raised a little. You could see his tanned skin just above his belt. Unsure of what the hell that made you feel just now. Joel still craved something deep down, dessert, more specifically.

"Hey dad, may you excuse me for a minute. I need to use the restroom." He nodded and you hurriedly scurried off inside your house. Closing the door behind you shut, and you quickly catch your breath.

Everything intensified, everything from top to bottom. The heat between your legs, you're sure your underwear is soaked.

He didn't even do anything.

You locked yourself in the restroom. sort of trying to recollect yourself after your encounter. But what the hell were you even thinking? Where was the respect? No hugs, not a thank you, or even a hello?!

You were interrupted suddenly by a knock on the door. "It's occupied!" You respond.

Another knock.

"I thought I told you that this restroom is occupied?" You grew frustrated. One more knock and it sent you over the edge.

"What the hell do you not understand?"

"It's Joel, open the damn door." He ordered. His voice was huskier, angry and needy almost. Your heart pounds and you began to question your dignity.

"C'mon sweet cakes, open the door." You had no choice, knowing Joel, he'd continue with his knocks and the continuous, "let me in."

"Okay," you sighed, "I'll let you in, just gimme a moment."

There wasn't a word behind the door, just silence.

Deep breaths in and deep breaths out, you finally walk to the door and open it.

Joel greeted you with the hungriest kiss known to mankind. Like a predator to his prey. He shut the door behind him and managed to find a way to lock it. His hand immediately grabs the back of your neck, gripping your hair tight to get a better hold of you. All you felt was his mouth on yours, all thoughts gone. Out the window.

You struggled to breathe but your hands find their way on his broad shoulders, you held his shoulder tight to keep you from falling. Knees are weak and dignities are gone.

His tongue goes in deeper, and you do the same with yours, the sound of kisses filled the silence in the bathroom, but you didn't care. It was like a dream come true, kissing the man you've always felt something for. But has he felt the same? You know, following you to the bathroom to kiss you had to signify that.

You pull away, a string of saliva leaving both of your lips. His hand slides down your back, holding your waist and pulling you closer to his body.

You're both panting, trying to regain your breaths.

"We shouldn't be doing this."

"But you want to, don'tcha sweetheart?" He pulls you impossibly closer, "I saw the way you eye fucked me over there, doing that while wearing this little dress won't do you no good doll."

"Why won't it do me no good? And I wasn't eye fucking you, I was upset at the fact that you didn't even acknowledge me over there."

"Can't tell ya that." He smirks.

You grew frustrated, Joel loves the way your brows furrow. Thinkin' bout how your brows would be furrowing the way his cock rammed deep inside of you. "Y'know, I didn't have my dessert yet. You willin' to give me that?"

Your eyes widen, the knots in the pit of your belly only grew tighter. You knew very well what he implied, and you had no problem giving Joel this. Because as soon as those words left his mouth, he picked you up and sat you down on the cold counter roughly. Causing you to wince in response from the cold contact of the bathroom counter.

"Joel.." you breathed, unsure of what you're seeing is just a dream of if it's fucking real.

"Want me to make you feel good baby? I'll make you feel so good, I'll show you what it's like to be loved by me."

You pant in need and want, "y..yes, I want you to make me feel good, Joel."

"I'll make you feel good, baby." It took you a second to process, only because you can't believe this is about to happen. You're shy, it took a moment before Joel did it for you. His warm rough hands touching your knees and spreading your legs made you moan in response.

"Look at ya, already moaning and I haven't even done nothing."

He pulls you closer, your legs beside his waist as he goes back in for a kiss. This time, it's gentler, softer. It was all sudden, and new. Just a few minutes ago, he was eating your face.

He groans in your mouth, you taste too good to him. He can only imagine how sweet his dessert would taste. This was only a sample, a fraction of what he's about to go in for.

He gives your jawbone peppered kisses, all the way down to your neck, then your collarbone. You hold on to the counters as he made his way down, pushing your purple dress you wore specifically for him.

Then he gets down on his knees, sliding your soaked panties off. You watch as it makes way down to your ankles. "Oh doll, you're so wet for me. That's my girl."

Hearing him call you his girl sure put you in a haze, it all felt unreal.

His head is now between your thighs, and the sight alone makes you close to finishing already.

His tongue brushes against your aching clit and your head tilts back, your thoughts are literally everywhere. Puzzle pieces waiting to be solved, yet you're focused on Joel's head in between your legs.

Your legs spread further once Joel drags his tongue along your throbbing, cunt. Groaning as he's savoring the taste of his dessert. You squirm and move under his touch when his tongue rasps over your sensitive flesh. "Stay still sweetheart." He warned as his arms wrap around your legs to keep you spread open for him.

"Ah, Joel..." You pant, unable to keep it down. "Keep your voice down, unless you want everyone to hear how good I make my sweet girl feel." His dirty words and praises made it so hard to.

He flicks the tip of his tongue back and forth, giving everything he has. You bite down on your lips, "attagirl, doin' so good for me. 'S right."

You almost want to cry out as he devours you, your legs keep him in place as you feel the heat in the pit of you belly grow intensely hotter. You're so wet for him, and you can't help but roll your hips to get more. Watching his head buried into you was so illicit, so real.

"Joel, I'm so close-" you struggled to whisper or even say a full sentence. He continues, but this time, his tongue finds its way inside of your leaking cunt. You moan, he looks up at you. Eye contact was way too intense.

"Taste so fuckin' good for me, ya like watching me eat your sweet pussy hm?" His jaw works more, and you can't help but fight the urge to scream his name. Your chest rose with each stroke of his tongue on your cunt.

Suddenly, his hands leave the tight hold he had on you and hastily unbuckling his belt. He pushes down his jeans, along with his boxers, and the sight before you were everything and more.

You watched his cock spring up, and your eyes widen in shock. He's big, and you didn't know how the hell he is going to fit. Your cunt ached for him, growing more needy. You grab his hair and pull him closer, he hums with affirmation. Joel goes back down, this time to finish what he started.

His familiar touch sent waves of shock throughout your body. Mind clouded and head pounding, you grind into his mouth, chasing your orgasm like an owner chasing his dog. And finally, you explode into fragments of pleasure. Stars and colors were all you could see and hear.

Joel then licks his lips, looking down at your cunt before he inserts his cock slowly. Torture almost. Your eyes roll back and Joel groans at the sight in front of him, this beautiful and glowing woman in front of him. He never thought, at his age, he’d get to see this again. But he hopes he sees it forever.

He thrusts slow and then fast as he listened to your melodic moans and whimpers. It only made him want to go faster and faster, and the coil in the pit of your belly finally snaps and you shake. His thrusts become sloppy, “fuck, you’re so good to me, hun.” He praised as he too followed after you.

“Want me to come in this pretty pussy? Hm? Talk to me.” He ordered. You nod, unable to form words. “Talk.” He demands, “yes, Joel, fuck yes.” And then he lets go of himself, his head placed on your shoulder and he groans as he comes inside of you. His cock twitching, the two of you are still regaining your breaths, you’re still trying to collect yourself.

“We gotta get cleaned up, but we’ll start with you first, how bout’ that?” He smirked and you nod. If this happened to be just a dream, then it was the best fucking dream ever.

170 notes · View notes

atlasmoonglade · 3 days

Text

Joost Klein x singlemom!reader

Chapter 1 ; Chapter 2 ; Chapter 3 ; Chapter 4

Warnings: kind of a rollercoaster of emotions, smut, PiV, riding, angst, 18+ only

This turned out quite long, but I didn't want to split it into another chapter. Hope you enjoy :)

Chapter 5

Your head is resting on Joosts chest, his finger drawing mindless patterns on your arm.

There is a comfortable silence around you.

"What happened between you and Elliot's dad?" he asks.

You don't answer at first.

"We started dating in high school and were friends long before that. Basically I've known him the majority of my life. We didn't rush to have kids or get married, we were building our careers, focused on ourselves. I was truly happy with him." you stare into the distance. "I think we got too familiar with each other, if that's possible." you laugh a little. Joost is listening to you intently. "so when a new routine got introduced, we weirdly just grew apart. We both love Elliot with our whole hearts, so after we realised we are failing to make this work, we decided to separate. We are still very close, it feels like we are best friends who have a kid together. But I don't regret separating. It was the right choice for us." you turn to look at him. "What about you? Have you experienced married life?" you try to joke.

He laughs. "No, I didn't. But I want to one day, with the right person." he says his tone getting serious.

You fall into silence again. His breathing steady, but you know he is not yet asleep.

"You know, that day we met, I really wanted to stay home, I had a horrible headache. I almost didn't go." you say quietly.

He doesn't say anything, so you start to think he did fall asleep.

"That coffee shop we met at the second time. It wasn't on my usual run route. For some reason that morning I decided to go a different way and ended up there." he says suddenly.

"Funny how life works sometimes." you say.

He kisses the crown of your head. "It all works out in the end."

Waking up next to Joost in your bed that morning was even more ethereal than before. Although you'd shifted several times in your sleep, he'd found you in the darkness each time so that he could cling to you again.

You ghosted your fingers over his hand splayed out on your stomach, and the touch only served to make him pull you closer to him. You continued to run your hands along his, eventually going up his arm and quietly giggling at the goosebumps that formed. When Joost began to stir, the first thing he did was bury his face between your shoulder and neck. You giggled at the tickling sensation of his breath, and he responded by peppering the area with short, light kisses.

"Good morning" you say.

He just groans into your neck.

"You really are not a morning person, huh?"

"I am" he says into your ear, as he pushes himself even closer behind you and you feel how hard he is.

You laugh. "That is not what I meant." you turn to face him and press a light kiss to his lips.

He moves his hand to your jaw and pulls you into a kiss again. He hugs you tight against him, and trails his kisses from the side of your mouth, to your jaw and continues kissing your neck. Your hips roll against him earning a moan from him. You move your hand down to touch him through his boxers.

"Fuck" he exhales, as you continue to tease him. His hand slides from your neck down your body, he moves your panties to the side. "So wet already" it definitely strokes his ego. "Could have woke me up earlier" he chuckles and gets up to get his wallet again. You hear the sound of foil ripping and he gets back to the spooning position behind you.

"Come here" you kiss him again as he rolls into you slow and tender, the two of you entwined and sinking into the mattress.

Your head rolls back into his shoulder. "You feel so good"

His hands are holding your waist, while he is rocking his hips slowly at first. He wants to take his time with you, wants to take care of you, the sounds he hears leave your mouth encourage him to move faster. He can't believe the things you do to him and what he feels for you in this moment.

"Please don't stop" your voice feels like a prayer to him.

He moves his hand to work on your clit, a few more thrusts and he feels you clench around him. Your legs start to shake.

"Just a little longer" he says chasing his own release. A few more thrusts and he comes into the condom. You both try to catch your breath.

He kisses your shoulder and moves to lay on his back.

You check your phone "C'mon we have to get up. Nicholas is dropping off Elliot soon." you tap his thigh. "I'll make you breakfast."

"The full morning experience." he says and laughs at his own joke.

You get up and head to the bathroom.

"Stop starring" you throw a t-shirt you pick up from the floor at him.

"Why so shy all of a sudden? I was inside of you a second ago." he catches the t-shirt.

"Shut up" you laugh.

You finish showering and go the kitchen to start making eggs on toast. Enough for you, Joost and Elliot if he wants. When did this become so domestic you think to yourself.

"Hurry up, they are coming up already." you shout when Joost is still in the shower.

You put down the plates and throw your head back laughing as you see Joost rushing towards the kitchen, still putting on his t-shirt.

The key turns in the door and you hear little footsteps running in.

"Hi, mom!" Elliot runs towards you, you kneel down. "Hi, baby" you hug him.

"Hi, Joost." Elliot says looking up from the hug. "Why are you.. breathing like that?" Joost is still out of breath from trying to make it in time to the kitchen.

"He just came back from a run. He loves doing cardio in the mornings" you say trying not to laugh.

"Cardio in the mornings, huh?" Nicholas walks in and laughs.

"Hi! " you hug Nicholas. "Thanks for driving him back."

"I had time before work today to drop him off, so you didn't have to drive up." he says and looks at Joost.

"This is Joost. The one I told you about."

"Hi, Joost. Nice to meet you." Nicholas reaches his hand out to him.

"Hi. Likewise." Joost shakes his hand.

This is so weird runs through your thoughts. All of your favorite people in one room, but why is this weird, you think to yourself.

"Did you have fun?" you ask Elliot.

"So much fun! Look what daddy got me." he shows a new Lego set to Joost who is the closest to him.

"That's so cool!" Joost matches his enthusiasm and it makes you smile.

"I have to go now. Bye, Elliot. Love you." Nicholas says and heads towards the door. He gives you and Joost a wink and chuckles again mouthing cardio.

Later that week you invite Joost to join you in a park with Elliot for a little picnic. You take out a blanket and Elliot lays out the Lego set, which he was excited to build. Joost helps him sort out the pieces while they talk about cartoons and movies they've seen.

"You haven't showed him the classics? What do mean you haven't seen Shark Tale?" Joost looks between you and Elliot.

"Well, the movie for the evening is sorted then."

"You are gonna love it, lil guy." the nickname he started calling Elliot makes you chuckle.

"How is your song coming along?" you ask.

He sighs. "We haven't made much progress. We are in kind of a creative drought as my producer likes to call it." you see how much it bothers him.

"Oh. Well hope it passes soon." you hate to see him not feeling excited about his music. "What do I say to that? Do I wish you inspirational rain?"

He laughs. That infectious laugh again. It even makes Elliot chuckle as he flips to the next page of the Lego instructions.

"What do you usually do to get the juices flowing again?" you ask.

"I usually go out with a pretty girl and a lil guy to build legos"

"I am not little." Elliot pretends to be upset.

"Sure, lil guy."

You have built half of the lego car, when Elliot went to the playground. You notice Joost is being quieter than usual.

"Anything I can do to help? It breaks my heart to see you like that."

He looks at you with a smile and puts his hand on your thigh, squeezing slightly. "You are already helping." he says. "I'll work it out."

"What are your plans for next week?" you ask.

"Depends. Are you asking me on a date?" he teases.

"Nicholas is taking Elliot to stay with his grandparents." you say. "I thought me and you could also go somewhere. A little vacation."

"I would love that." he gives a little peck to your lips.

You figured time away with just the two of you would help you understand where do you stand now. What this new relationship means to both of you. You were trying to repeat his words "Let's just have fun for now" for as long as you could to distract yourself from the ticking clock when the time comes for him to leave. You don't want to scare him away by asking too many questions, like "So, what are we?", but you would be lying if you didn't say that this question is spiralling in your head. Would long distance even work between you? Those are the questions which you don't have yet the answer to.

You are helping Elliot pack for the week he will spend with Nicholas' parents. Joost has come over earlier that morning, he is working on his ipad in your bedroom.

"Let's go, you can give it to him now." you tell Elliot.

"Joost?" Elliot is suddenly shy walking up to him.

"Yes, lil guy?" Joost puts down his ipad.

"We were making bracelets in my class and I made one for you." he pulls out the bracelet from behind his back. "There were numbers we could choose from in the beads kit, it reminded me of your tattoo." he points to the 1983 inked on Joosts fingers. "Hope you like it."

Joost takes the 1983 bracelet and puts it on his wrist. He looks taken aback by this gesture. "Thank you so much, Elliot." he touches the bracelet. "That is so sweet of you. I will never take it off."

This whole interaction makes you tear up a little bit. You sit next to Joost and hug him.

You and Joost check in into your hotel room at an out of town resort for the next couple of days. As you both settle in, you remember the first time you stayed at his apartment, the awkwardness between you, which has now completely disappeared. There are still unanswered questions floating between you but you leave them in the air for now. You think of how dark it was around you in his apartment that night compared to the sun shining into the room through the floor to ceiling windows. A little laugh escapes you.

"What?" he comes up to hug you from behind.

"Nothing." you are smiling from ear to ear as you turn in his arms.

"No, no, share with the class what's going on in that pretty little head of yours."

"Just trying to imagine you in the tennis class I signed us up for tomorrow."

"You think I'm gonna be bad at tennis?" he looks at you pretending to be offended. "I will win so easily you won't even have time to react."

You laugh "Someone is competitive."

"You have no idea." he lowers his head to kiss you. The kiss is slow and sweet, he walks you back to the bed not breaking the kiss. You both fall onto the bed, his hands bunching up your dress slowly going up your thigh. A phone call startles you. He pulls away, his pupils dark and full of want. "Sorry" he says standing up.

He answers the call, while you fix your dress and sit up. He opens the balcony door to take the call there. You continue to unpack, the faint sound of Joost speaking in dutch on the phone. He comes back into the room, you can't fail to notice his tense shoulders.

"Everything ok?" you ask concerned.

"Yes." he answers. "It was my manager, sorry."

"Ok.." you look at him, when he doesn't give any more information you decide to drop it.

"There are beautiful routes for running here. Want to go?" you ask him.

"Let's go." he smiles at you.

To summarise your last few days:

He did beat you in Tennis, but only because you let him is what you say when he gloats about his win.

"Are you sure it wasn't your age?" he leans down to ask you.

"How dare you" your jaw drops. You both start laughing.

You went to a painting class where you had to draw each others portrait. His turned out pretty good, his own style very apparent. He didn't know you went to an art class in college, the accurate portrait took him by surprise. He promised to put in a frame on his wall back home.

"Something to remember me by." you smile at him.

"There is much more I will remember." he smiles back.

On an afternoon walk you met Joosts fan, who was shocked to see him here. As they talked in dutch, you tried to let go of Joosts hand, to give him a choice in case he didn't want to be seen with someone publicly. He only squeezed harder. A small gesture but it meant so much to you.

They switch to English, before they take a photo.

"Haven't seen you post online much."

"Big things coming." Joost replies in a heavy American accent on purpose.

"So, you do have fans, huh?" you say when you continue the walk.

"I should show you my DMs." he jokes.

"I would rather not go there." you laugh.

You watched his old Youtube videos. He didn't cringe once, you love how unapologetically he is himself, even to his past.

"We should have gotten popcorn. This is golden! You were so adorable as a teenager. Look at your cheeks, man!" you can't contain the laugh that escapes you.

"Okay, calm down. Now you have to show me your teenage photos."

For your last evening he booked a table at the restaurant. You are wearing a black maxi silk dress. You are finishing your makeup, when you see Joosts reflection in the mirror. He is wearing a shirt, black tie and black pants. A matching black jacket thrown over his hand.

"Look at you, handsome" you put your hands on his chest, smoothing out his shirt, going up to fix his tie.

"Love this dress on you." he says taking your hands into his own. You look up at him, loving how much taller he is than you.

The restaurant has an ambient lighting, quiet live music and murmur of people at other tables around you. You order and put down the menu. Joost hasn't said much on the way here, you see something is bothering him.

"Do you not like it here?" you ask.

He looks up at you. "What? No. No, I love it here. With you." he gives a faint smile. You smile back and wait for him to continue.

"I, uh. I actually wanted to tell you something." he says fumbling with a napkin on the table. "I talked to my manager and we figured out a plan for me to stay here for 2 more months. He will handle the paperwork tomorrow. But essentially it is done." he looks at you trying to read your face.

"What? That is amazing!" you can't hide your excitement. "Here I thought you were gonna say you killed someone."

He laughs, you wish you could bottle this sound.

"So.. any plans for those 2 months?" you say with a teasing note in your voice. "Are you sure you are not gonna forget dutch?"

He puts his hand over yours on the table. "Alles voor jou."

"I hate to bring it up again" you say. "but what happens after those 2 months?"

"You can come to Amsterdam to visit me."

"You know I couldn't stay for long. Or visit you often."

"We could try long distance relationship." he suggests. "I really like you, Y/N. I want you to know that. I will do anything to make this work."

Those words make your heart beat faster. In a room full of people, he is the only one you ever want to look at. No one has ever made so much effort for you, it has always been easy and safe with Nicholas, a clear plan always laid out in front of you, you had no idea you would crave something so risky and uncertain. It makes your head spin how loved and special he makes you feel, all your previous concerns are long forgotten.

As soon as you get back into your room, you feel his hands on you. He is kissing your neck, and presses you into the nearest wall. The mixture of his touches, a secluded room where it feels like you are living in your own little world and a light buzz you have from drinks at the restaurant, it all seems so perfect. You wish it all could last. You kiss him back.

He takes off your dress, then you push his shirt past his shoulders and reach for the belt on his pants. When you both get rid of each other's clothes, you make it to the bed.

He grasps the plush of your thigh as you bend your leg around his waist, his other hand braced next to your head as he lines himself up and pushes in.

"Oh, fuck" you wind your arms around his neck, find his mouth with yours.

Joosts brows turn into a frown when you wriggle away from him, but he doesn’t argue when you turn to push him onto his back and straddle his hips. He pulls you down to kiss him instead, panting against your mouth as you sink down inch by slow inch. You can see him watching as you move above him. He feels good like this, his chest is firm under your fingertips, his eyelids heavy and his pupils blown wide in the dark of the room.

“Feel like fuckin heaven..” his hands find your hips, holding you against him as he shifts his hips up in tight rhythm with your body. And it’s the sounds he makes, fucked-out, breathless moans that he would never let anyone else hear.

He can feel you beginning to squeeze tight around him and how slick the slide of you has become. He kneads his hands into your backside, drags his teeth against you again, keeps it going even as you collapse against him. Keeps you riding that wave as he wraps his arms around you and rolls you to the mattress, fucking into you then with the last of his energy. His voice at your ear, “so perfect.. beautiful..." For a split second he imagines a family with you. Would it work between you two? A little kid with his last name running around the house. The imagination takes over him and the words seem to have slipped past his lips. "I love you.”

You open your eyes to look at him. Did he just say...that he loves you? You are taken aback and your mouth doesn't move to say it back. Do you love him? It's all been happening so quickly, you haven't had the time to think about that question.

You are both trying to catch your breath as he lays down next to you, looking at the ceiling.

"Sorry. It just. Kind of happened."

"It's okay." is all you can say. You still can't bring yourself to say it back. You know the heavy weight of these words and you can't yet say them.

A few days after you got back, you and your friend Brianne met up to catch up on everything, after the coffee date, you decide to go thrifting to a few of your favorite spots. You are going through the vintage jackets they have.

"Y/N?" you hear someone call. You turn around and see the girl you met backstage at Joosts concert.

"Hi!" she gives you a hug.

"Hi! Long time no see! How have you been?"

"Good." she smiles at you. "It has been a long time." you hear worry in her voice. "Sorry if I'm being too straightforward, but are you and Joost still close?" she asks.

"Yes." you reply with hesitation, not having expected this question.

"I guess you don't know." she looks down at her hands. "We've been worried about him. He has been turning down our invitations to hang out, which is fine I guess. But he also turned down the gig we were supposed to play in Austria to stay here for longer."

You look at her, all color draining from your face. So, you weren't imagining things. All the pieces suddenly turning into a clear picture, him not being able to focus on his music, the secretive calls. You feel nauseous, guilt creeping up your throat.

"I had no idea." you say quietly. "I will talk to him."

"This isn't like him. Hope you find the right words to say to him, because we sure are out of those." she says and gives you an apologetic smile.

Later that night you get a text from Joost asking if he can come over. You can't see him right now.

No, sorry, I am not feeling well. I'm gonna call it a night early today.

Oh. Hope it's nothing serious. I can bring you soup if you want, give you a massage. Will that help?

I need to be alone today. I'm sorry.

Ok. Feel better soon.

You put down your phone and cover your face with your hands. You can feel a headache coming on, you need to talk to him, but you can't do it today. How could you let this go so far? It is not like you to get swept away like that and to confuse him as well. You feel like it is all your fault that he doesn't have time for anyone else or even work on his music. Has he lost his inspiration because of you too? You feel ashamed. Him saying he loves you all of a sudden? This is not just you having fun together anymore. The fact that you couldn't say it back should have been the first sign.

You knock at his door.

"Come in" you hear his voice from inside the apartment.

You walk in and see him taking out the plates to set the table.

"Hi" he comes up to you. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay. What's with the fancy china?" you ask.

"I can't really cook, but I got us takeaway. Wanted to do something nice for you. In case you didn't want to go out." he says.

"Joost, I need to talk to you." you sigh.

"Ok." his voice getting serious. "What's up?" he leads you to sit on the couch.

"I saw your friend yesterday. The one I met after your show." you say, looking everywhere but not at him. "She told me you cancelled your concert in Austria and haven't been seeing your friends."

He doesn't say anything, he stands up, and runs his hands through his hair. He turns to look at you.

"I was so embarrassed, Joost. I had no idea this is what is going on with you." you continue. "If you need time apart, just tell me. I am not trying to ruin your career."

"You are not ruining anything. Let me explain." he says with a sigh. "This is just one side of the story. Yes, I have been seeing them less, but I was overwhelmed ever since I came here. I met you and things seemed to have... fallen into place, I felt this calmness, finally a little peace of mind."

You look at him tears filling your eyes.

"I promise it's just temporary. It's not you, I have got wrapped in my feelings, I will work it out. I will learn how to balance work and my personal life." he kneels down next to you, taking your hands in his. "I'm sorry this happened."

You put your head on his shoulder.

"This really scared me." you say quietly.

"Trust me, I will do better." he says, his hand patting your back in soothing motions.

"I want to trust you." you sit back up to look at him.

He kisses your hand. "I'm sorry for scaring you."

You pull him into a hug. "Let's have that dinner you prepared. Smells so good."

He sighs with relief.

Once again you are in his bed, the smell of him all around you. His breathing is steady next to you. You close your eyes having finally made a decision.

It's deep into the night, you are sitting on the edge of his bed fully dressed. You reach to move a strand of hair, which covers his face, and continue to run your hand through his hair. He smiles in his sleep, as a tear falls down from your face. You walk up to his mirror and leave a note there. Without looking back, you close his door for the last time.

I can't let you build your future around me. You deserve so much more - see the world, create your art and never look back. The world deserves to know your name. I couldn't say I love you that night, but I want you to know that I felt it. One day you will meet someone who is brave enough to say it out loud.

I hope you move on faster than I will. You can be mad at me but please don't blame yourself.

I'm sorry, Joost.

Goodbye.

~~~~~~~

Elliot is playing outside with his friends, you can hear their chatter through the open window.

You are mindlessly scrolling through videos on your recommended page. A face you haven't seen in a long time pops up and it takes your breath away the same way it did the first time you bumped into him.

"I'm happy to have finally released this song. I showed it to someone I was close with once, she didn't react with words at first, but I saw goosebumps spreading on her skin. I've been chasing that high ever since." you put down your phone. Tears start blurring your vision, you wipe them away.

You put Elliot to bed, kiss the top of his head, quietly close the door and go into the spare bedroom, which now has a crib prepared, rolls of new wallpaper ready to be put up. You open the cabinet, which you have yet to go through and take out a box. Dust is covering the top of it. You take a deep breath and open the box.

An envelope with a wristband pass, an old receipt with a barely visible ink from your favorite breakfast spot, a label you took off from the wine bottle and a polaroid photo of you dancing at a concert. You take the polaroid, turning it in your hands.

He has never tried to reach out again, you only found this polaroid in your mailbox a week after you left his apartment. You read his neat handwriting on the back of it.

Since I didn't get a chance to say goodbye, I guess I'll do it now. I spent the last few days trying to process why you did it, I wanted to call you, but I won't - it will hurt too much.

I meant what I said that night in the hotel room, but I hope I never see you again. Live a happy life, Y/N, I'm glad to have been a part of it.

Forever yours,

Joost.

The door opens softly. "Honey, you coming?" your fiancé asks.

~~~~~~~

"Here is to the sold out tour!" Joost's manager raises a toast.

"Woooo! Cheers!" everyone clinks their drinks together.

Joost's friends and crew came to celebrate a successful show they just played and a world tour ahead of them. This place starts to bring back memories, he's been here before, although seems like a lifetime ago. A bar now turned into a venue for private events.

He notices a woman with a dark haired teenager standing next to her, he can tell by her pretty dress and people around in formal wear - they are celebrating something. There is a brand new guitar wrapped up as a present.

You look as good as the day he first saw you heading to the bar. The rollercoaster of emotions, which almost swept him off his feet. Sometimes he thinks it did. You see him, your eyes wide in surpise and softening as quickly, smile spreading across your face. The smile that he has almost forgotten. You look at each other, all the years between you disappearing. Suddenly it's that summer again, the morning runs, late night texts, a movie playing in the background as you take off his clothes, deep conversations hidden by the comfort of the dark. He thinks back to the note you left on his mirror, he couldn't take it off for days, he kept reading it again and again hoping to find an answer, looking at his own reflection. The night he said those words flashes in his mind. He blinks and the moment ends, the chatter of the room separating you. You go back to your conversation.

He watches as a man joins you with a little girl in his arms, he puts an arm around your shoulders bringing you closer, you lean in comfortably.

Elliot doesn't recognise Joost.

At this moment he stops blaming myself. He can move on.

#joost klein #joost klein x reader #joost klein smut #my writing

164 notes · View notes

sunnymainecoonx · 3 days

Text

First

Unfortunately it ends here but errrrr... yuh guess what happens next :3 (details will be written later) sighs I am fully aware there were more efficient ways to post these but this week literally destroyed me so errrr yeah life's great guys(it'll be better from now on)

Oooookay ranting time!! This is gonna be a lot so..... I'd be surprised if you even read it

Based off of real complaints from multiple people, horror doesn't fit in the mtt. For a few reasons anyways...... I won't go into details on that, but ya I decided to make him worse :3 we're travellin' to cannibal horror😈 instead of eating humans he eats actual monsters tho. Because of the lack of magic and also the monsters desperate needs they're slowly turning into flesh and bone.... something horror can actually eat. Not all monsters r flesh and bones though, like papyrus for example(I killed him off guys I'm so kawaii UwU) but anyways.... by just having something in his mouth, horror's starvation gets the better of him and he goes on the hunt... and is essentially insane. I just think... he'd either eat too much or too little, sometimes accidentally starving himself and sometimes going too crazy and just. Eats too much. Either way it's resulted in a lot of vomiting..... he's kind of self aware but he's just too insane to be bothered, and kind of getting bored he gets creative with his food(prey). Sometimes he may psychologically torture them, he likes the hunting games :3 he may add soemthing to his food to see if it'll get better, and he learns a way to add monster dust to his food..... I also think it'd be silly if he studied anatomy as a part of his.... scientific side. The anatomy of critters and underground animals, so if he decides he cares enough he can actually like. Make meat out of. Yk.

As for the bad Sanses part... horror does have Lv but it's rather low bc he works more with psychological torture and cleaning up. He has fed the others human before but he's the only one that can be considered cannibal, considered he ate actual monsters. Anyways he's rlly unhealthy w food bc. Like I said, he either eats too much or too little. He learns more about cooking with nightmares books(he just got books of everything rlly) and bc of his own situation he tries to get the others to eat healthily. I don't think he'd like- take care of his own eating though... bc thoughts r getting back at him. This results in a lot of starving hismelf(cutely repeats myself a bagillion times) which results in a lot of.. "hunger pangs". Like how he reacted to fried human(Aliza) in the actual horrortale comic. So he's got bad first impressions generally...(trying to eat the others)

#sans au #utmv #undertale au #horror sans #horrortale #comic #UwU

164 notes · View notes

alygator77 · 1 day

Text

∘₊✧─moment of weakness─✧₊∘

✧ pairing. satoru gojo x fem! reader (also ft suguru geto)

✧ summary. after a rough night at the bar, you are drunk out of your mind and decided to ask your best friend satoru to come pick you up to take you home. but during the car ride the alcohol starts giving you courage, making you feel rather bold as you make a move on your best friend. did this ruin your friendship? was this a mistake, or does he reciprocate your feelings?

✧ warnings/tags. 18+ MDNI, nsfw, smut, bit of angst, reader is drunk for first half, friends to lovers, mutual pining, somewhat public sex, car sex, groping while driving, dry humping, handjob teasing (m), fingering (f! receiving), satoru and reader in their 20s and both work at jujutsu high, both are powerful sorcerers, satoru takes care of you while you’re sick, satoru is also being an idiot, suguru makes a move on you, takes place before suguru leaves jujutsu high, will end with fluff

✧ words: 12.7k (yeeeeah idk what happened)

✧ a/n. this will be two parts because I'm currently sitting at 20k words, I have no clue how this happened... so I'm splitting it up. anyways, this is just a little side story that I have had brainrot for and had to get it out :)

✧ part two: pending...

“'toruuuu~” you call his name is a singsong childish voice while he pulls you into an embrace outside of the bar. Leaning into you, he can smell the liquor on you as you sway a little and give him an adorable pout. It’s not often he gets to see you like this.

“Take me home please, I'm bored here,” you sigh and nuzzle into the crook of his neck.

Amused at this side of you, an affectionate hum leaves his lips as he tugs you even closer. You're being extra clingy today. Satoru can't help but snicker softly, his hold around your waist tightening. His hand slides lower to rest against the curve of your hip; slender, nimble fingers digging into your skin through the thin layer of your skirt.

A low amused chuckle falls from his lips as you snuggled into him. His face buries into your hair, his chin pressed softly against your tilted head. "You're such a needy little thing," he murmurs against your ear, his breath warm and almost ticklish. "And drunk off your damn ass, too. I’ll take you home."

Despite his words, his arms stay where they are. He was relishing in this clingy version of you, much more than the usual, sober you who tends to get irritated by him and push him away.

But who were you to push him away right now? Typically, you would do so in an attempt to distance yourself, to keep yourself in check. Afterall, Satoru is your best friend, but underneath the surface there has always been a part of you that craves more from him. Yet in this moment, you simply want to enjoy his gentle embrace.

With a soft exhale into Satoru's neck, you become enveloped in his warmth. It's a soothing contrast from the cool bite of the outside wind. A low groan escapes his lips as your warm breath tickles his neck, each puff sending a jolt of electricity running down his spine. He wishes he could stay like this forever.

It's always been this way— you're the only person who can make him feel things like this. Satoru and you have been friends for years. It started off as mere fellow jujutsu sorcerers, working together on missions, defeating curses together, but at one point it grew into something much more personal, with your late-night phone calls, lunch dates and movie marathons. That’s how it’s always been now, for as long as you can remember – you, Satoru and Suguru. And despite how much Satoru can get on your nerves sometimes, with his childish demeanor, emotional constipation and somewhat cocky attitude, he is always there for you.

You click your tongue before speaking, a cheeky smirk upon your lips. "Suguru challenged me to a drinking contest. Who am I to say no?"

Satoru's eyebrow quirks up at your response. Trust Geto to influence you into doing stupid things. Though, a subtle hint of irritation stirs within him when you mention his name. He begrudgingly recalls that as of recently, his best friend's gazes tends to linger a moment too long on your figure whenever interacting with you. Satoru’s admiration for you has grown into something he can’t quiet explain. He’s never felt this way about, well, anyone. Yet somehow, you manage to pull at him, thawing the icy heart he shields from everyone else. But he’s scared – if he is to act on those feelings, he’s certain it’ll only cause you both pain. He’s the strongest sorcerer after all, that easily makes you a target. So, he chooses to push his emotions down and continues to be what he’s always been for you, your best friend.

"Of course you're not. You're a glutton for punishment," he sighs, his fingers giving your hip a gentle squeeze. "You just had to prove yourself, huh? Why do I have a feeling you didn't even last a few shots? You're such a lightweight," he teases, his tone a mixture of amusement and affection.

His hand moves lower to hold the back of your thigh – a gasp escaping your lips, immediately followed by a soft giggle as he easily lifts you off your feet. “You're lucky I'm here to take you home, princess."

With a gentle sigh, you rest your head against his chest as he holds you in his embrace. The soft sound of his heartbeat soothes you as he begins to carry you towards his car. "You're the best 'toru. Always taking care of me."

A rare, fond smile tugs at the corners of his lips as you murmur those words, his heart skipping a beat inside his chest. Despite his usual nonchalant and cocky demeanor, Satoru has always had a soft spot for you. He may not admit it, of course, but secretly, he craves your praise.

"Of course I am." he muses, carrying you effortlessly towards his car. As he walks, his chin brushes gently against the top of your head. "Someone has to watch over you so you don't get into trouble. You're a magnet for mishaps." His tone playful, but laced with a hint of protectiveness. "Can't have someone else picking you up from the bar all drunk, now can I?"

Satoru opens the passenger door and carefully sets you inside, leaning over momentarily to click your seatbelt into place. He then walks around and enters the driver side. You lean your head back on the headrest, gently closing your eyes and exhaling with a slight annoyance as you take a moment to recall what happened moments before Satoru picked you up.

"Ugh. You won't believe it. Suguru was insisting I go home with him tonight.. and he was being real persistent," the alcohol is clearly loosening your tongue a bit more, and it doesn’t help that you never really gave yourself a moment to process what had happened.

Satoru freezes for a brief moment, his hand hovering over the ignition. His jaw clenches briefly at the mention of Geto again – did his closest friend actually make a move on you? It sets off a flicker of jealousy within him. Not that he'd explicitly show it, instead, a nonchalant expression maintains his features as he starts up the car. The engine hums to life, casting a low rumble in the otherwise silent vehicle.

"Is that so?" he replies, feigning nonchalance despite the subtle edge that underlines his tone. His gaze briefly flickers in your direction before focusing back on the road. "And why would he suddenly want to do that?"

You stare out at the road and lift an eyebrow, biting your lip as you hesitate – you’ve always had a slight suspicion that maybe Satoru also has feelings for you, he undeniably is affectionate.. but it’s hard for you to know for certain if that affection is romantic since he is always so hot and cold with you. One moment he’s worshiping you, the next he’s pushing you away. And deep down you know it’s probably for the best to remain the way you are – you’re content having him in your life, even if it’s just as your best friend, though a part of you still pines for him.

You wonder how he'll respond when you tell him about Suguru. Satoru’s always been protective over you. But you feel that as your best friend, he should know. That's why you called him. After everything that happened, he was the only person you thought of, the only person you wanted to see.

"Well, considering the way he tried to kiss me tonight, I'm assuming he didn't wanna talk."

Satoru's grip on the steering wheel tightens visibly at your revelation, his knuckles turning slightly paler as his hold on the leather material strains. A wave of bitterness washes over him, his eyes growing darker as he processes what you'd just said. He’s always buried this bitterness deep down when he’d watch you with other men, but Suguru? A twinge of betrayal stirs in him.

His gaze remains fixed on the road ahead, the car's headlights cutting through the night. He clears his throat slightly, his voice low and measured. "And how did you respond to that?"

Bringing your hand to your face, you shake your head in disbelief as if you’re trying to shoo the mere image out of your mind. You, Satoru and Suguru were an inseparable trio. The three of you have been the best of friends for… well what feels like practically forever. But lately, Suguru has been acting rather…odd. That’s why his advances tonight really caught you off guard. It just didn't feel...right.

"Well.. obviously, I pushed him away. I don’t know what came over him, but I was not having it. So, I immediately called you to come get me."

As you describe the encounter, a wave of relief washes over Satoru. It appeases him to know that your reaction wasn't one of reciprocation. His hold on the steering wheel eases a fraction, his shoulders losing some tension. He hums softly in acknowledgment, his gaze flickering in your direction for a brief moment.

"Good," he replies, a hint of protectiveness seeping into his tone. "You should always call me if someone tries to bother you, alright? I'll always come get you. I'd rather have you with me than with anyone else any day."

You giggle and turn your head to the side facing Satoru, the warmth of the alcohol giving a soft flush to your cheeks. You admire Satoru's profile while his eyes are peeled to the road. He is so beautiful in the moonlight, his snowy hair as smooth as silk, tousles hanging loose amongst his white lashes – the headlights illuminating his cerulean blue eyes, eyes you find yourself getting lost in.

Wait.. did he just imply that he wants me? You think.

Have you perhaps had too much to drink? Was that a slip up, or did you imagine it?

"You'd, rather have me with you?" You repeat his words back slowly, gazing at him.

Satoru's grip on the steering wheel loosens slightly, his thumb tracing a lazy pattern against its leather surface as he navigates the darkened roads. He glances in your direction, meeting your gaze for a moment before turning his attention back to the road – the way your eyes trace over his features, bathed by the passing street lights, nearly makes his breath catch in his throat.

The words he uttered moments before replay in his mind, and he realizes just how much they might have revealed. Usually, you’d simply dismiss his subtle advances, or he’d play them off with a witty comment, but tonight there was a look in your eyes, and the gentle seriousness in your voice... It caught him slightly off guard.

"Yeah. I would," he responds, his tone softer than usual.

A brief moment of silence fills the car, his words hanging in the air like a heavy promise. You shift your body to the side entirely, facing directly towards him as you lay back in your seat – your cheek pressed flush against the cool leather as you watch him intently. The intimacy in the car is palpable. You reach your hand out and rest it on Satoru's leg.

"'Toru..."

Satoru's breath hitches at the feeling of your hand on his leg. It's a simple gesture, a subtle touch, but it sends a jolt coursing through his body. The way you say his name in that moment, he’s heard you say it every day, but this was different. The warmth you suddenly inject into the small space, he can’t simply disregard it.

He steals a glance at you, his eyes darkening as he sees the intensity of your gaze. His muscles tense, both from the impact of your touch and the unexpected shift in the atmosphere.

"..yeah?" he replies, his voice a low, almost husky whisper.

You feel the liquor driving your body in a way you cannot stop. You begin to rub small intimate circles on his leg with your fingertips – brushing him ever so gently as you caress slowly up his thigh. There are words you’ve been eager to say but have locked up deep within you – suddenly the alcohol is causing your shackles to break, betraying your sense of restraint.

"I realized tonight.. I really wanted to see you. I only want you. That's why I called," your breath a whisper, your eyes bearing into him with deep longing.

Satoru can barely concentrate on the road anymore. Your gentle touch, the way your fingertips graze over him – it ignites a fire within him. His thighs flex under your caress, your gesture sending sparks of pleasure throughout him.

He swallows hard, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat. Your words, the truth in your confession, hit him like a ton of bricks. He'd been wanting to hear those words for so long, and now that they were finally being voiced, it somehow seemed too good to be true.

He inhales sharply, the air caught in his lungs. "You’re drunk. Only me, huh?" he murmurs, his voice low and hoarse as his gaze momentarily flickers to meet yours. The raw honesty in your eyes stirs something primal within him.

The unpredictable movements of your fingertips begin to climb higher up his thigh, dangerously close to his groin. Your eyes do not waver, intently looking at him with a burning passion. A passion that you had buried deep inside yourself for many, many years.

It’s a passion you’ve been bottling up – you’ve been denying yourself your affection towards Satoru. Denying your love for him. And while there may have been subtle hints that he reciprocated your feelings, there was also an inexplicable fear of breaking the friendship you have built up over many years. That is why usually, you would just turn a blind eye, and so would he. You both accepted this is how it would always be.

But you crave him so much. You crave his touch.

"Only you, 'toru. I... need you."

A soft, almost strangled gasp escapes Satoru's lips as your fingers move higher, the sudden intensity of your touch driving him into madness. He tightens his grip on the wheel, his knuckles turning white from the sheer force. His eyes briefly flicker back to yours, your intense gaze not missed by him.

"Fuck,” he mutters, a hint of desperation in his voice. The need in your words, the way you express your want for him, it causes his stomach to flip in a way he’s never felt before. “What are you doing to me, love?”

Your lips curl into a smile as you hear his voice waver. It’s a side of him you have never had the privilege to see. An intense ache pulses in between your legs as you feel pure, wet, desire begin to cloud your judgement. Why was it you didn’t act more daring with Satoru before? You suddenly can’t remember, because right now all you know is that you just want to hear more of those sounds from him. Make him become undone from you.

Your fingertips brush gently, teasingly, against the slight bulge forming under the taut fabric of Satoru's pants.

"Do you want me to stop?" your voice a silky whisper.

Satoru's breath hitches, a shiver raking down his spine as your fingers brush against the growing arousal in his pants. You have never been this bold with him. It takes every ounce of his restraint not to shudder visibly. He clenches his jaw, his gaze fixated on the road ahead, desperately trying to maintain some semblance of composure.

"I... fuck," he manages to mutter, his gaze flicking between the road and you. "Don't you dare," he responds, his voice thick and raspy. "If you stop, I might just lose my damn mind."

You bite your lip and trace your fingers up to the tip of his now prominent bulge – feeling it twitch with a needy desire underneath your digits. A slight wet patch begins to form, seeping through his trousers. Satoru nearly jerks the wheel as shock waves of pleasure shoot up his spine. A sharp exhale escaping his lips, his body reacting viscerally to your touch. It takes every ounce of control for him not to lose it entirely. He can barely keep his eyes on the road, the urge to look at you, to devour you, is almost unbearable.

You click your tongue smugly, a self-satisfied smile forming across your lips. "Tsk tsk~ 'toru, eyes on the road."

Another strangled sound escapes from somewhere deep within him. The way you touch him, the way you tease him, ignites a fire that burns throughout his veins. His mind is swimming with pure need, his hands trembling against the wheel.

"You're... going to be the death of me," he manages to utter, his voice a strained growl. But he can't stop himself from glancing at you, his azure eyes almost black with desire. "You're such a damn tease. I want to pull over and... God." He trails off, his teeth clenched.

You press your palm down on his erection, feeling it grow underneath the pressure, and you enjoy quite literally having him in the palm of your hands. The street lights darting behind Satoru's longing stare, each flicker of light revealing beautiful glimpses of his desperation for you.

"Come on 'toru. Hurry up and take me home. We're almost there," you knowingly tease him with a subtle plea.

Satoru’s eyes flutter shut for a moment, his head falling back against the seat, as you press your palm against his aching length. Was he dreaming? He lets out a low groan, a mixture of need and frustration that he's unable to act on, yet. His eyes flash open and he briefly shakes his head as he quickly remembers he’s still infact driving.

He growls and presses down on the gas, the speed of the car gradually increasing as he fights to maintain his control. "You'd better be ready for what you're doing to me, love. You're playing with fire."

The road stretches ahead, the car's headlights illuminating the way, the distance seemingly insurmountable. You catch sight of familiar houses through the window behind Satoru, which immediately tells you that you are on the street of your apartment complex. Feeling that needy ache between your legs again, you crave more. Your hand trails up to the zipper of Satoru's pants, slowly pulling it down to expose his boxers, bulge pushing hard against the cloth as it is covered in a pool of precum – aching, and desperate for you.

"God, 'toru," you gasp at the sight. Even though it is hidden underneath the fabric, you can tell that it is undeniably, big.

The sound of the zipper being undone is like a siren's call in his ears, his breath catching in his chest. "Fuck," he mutters, his voice a gravelly rasp. "You're... unbelievable. You're... so damn impatient," he manages to bite out, his voice a wrecked, strangled whisper.

His thighs tremble with an uncontrollable shudder as you look at his arousal – he looks at your soft supple lips, and he wants so badly to shove his cock deep into your throat, the need to have you consuming him, gasping and moaning. It’s an imagine that he would often fantasize about.

"If you keep teasing me like this, I promise you—” as he trails off the car suddenly comes to a halt, the engine shutting off as Satoru pulls up to the curb outside your apartment building.

The moment the car stills, the only sound being the rhythmic pace of his ragged breaths, Satoru looks over at you, his eyes raking in the sight of your face — flushed and full of yearning. His gaze dark and intense, his pupils dilated with raw desire.

He watches as you unbuckle your seatbelt, the sound of the click echoes in the small space. And in that moment, it acts as if a switch flipped inside of him, unleashing something primal within. He quickly unbuckles his own seatbelt and turns towards you with haste.

His hand promptly reaches out, grasping your wrist, his grip firm and unrelenting. "Not so fast," he murmurs, his voice low and commanding. He reaches for your thighs, his fingers almost trembling with the need to touch you. His body moves with a desperate fervor and a harsh grip as he tugs you across the center console and onto his lap, his strong arms encircling you tightly. The air is thick with tension, the desire between you two palpably tangible.

"Come here," he whispers. His hand grasping the back of your neck and guiding you towards him. You feel your clothed clit press against his length and moan, pushing forward as you crash your lips against his own.

The moment your lips meet his, he practically growls, his own groan mingling with yours as you rock against his aching arousal. His hands immediately finding purchase against your thighs, his grip on you is almost bruising, a physical manifestation of his need for you.

The taste of you, the feel of your body on his lap, pushes him to the edge of what little control he had as his hands begin to wander freely, roaming possessively over your body, as if he needs to touch you everywhere at once – touching and massaging, as if trying to commit every curve and contour to memory.

His tongue dips into your mouth, exploring and claiming your tongue hungrily. His hands moving beneath your shirt, his palms searing against your skin. “You.. don't know... how long... I've wanted you," he manages to mutter between kisses – his breath coming in as hot gasps as his body trembles with the sheer intensity of his desire.

A guttural moan rumbles from deep within his chest, his hips jerking involuntarily as you grind against him. He breaks the kiss, his lips trailing down the length of your neck, his teeth nibbling and biting possessively along the way. A hand underneath your shirt cups your breast, gently flicking your nipple between his index finger and thumb, while his other hand roams below your skirt, greedily seeking to touch more of you as he circles around your wet sensitive bud through your already soaked underwear.

“Nngh… ‘toru,” you moan. The heat between you two is fierce, a burning tension that has been years in the making. He relishes the sound of his name escaping your lips in a desperate moan. He wants to hear it again, hear the sound of it on your lips, as he claims you entirely.

His hand on your clit moves hungrily, his touch exploring greedily as he aches to feel more of your arousal. “You're so wet for me," he breaths against your skin, his touch growing more insistent, more urgent. "I can feel how badly you want this. Need this."

He pulls the fabric of your panties to the side, exposing your pretty folds dripping in pools of nectar, and he begins to tease your entrance. His mouth moves from your neck to your ear, his lips grazing over the sensitive flesh of your earlobe. "Say my name again," he whispers, his voice a low, demanding growl.

“Please… ‘toru,” you plead. Satoru's eyes fix on your face, he drinks in the sight of you – flushed and filled with need, lips plump and pink. A sight he’s only ever dreamed of, and now he cannot believe that he actually has you like this on top of him. It’s so captivating it makes his heart pound against his ribcage like a caged beast.

He moans softly against your ear, a low growl rumbling in his throat as you say his name — just how he wanted. His own breath comes in ragged gasps as he continues to tease your entrance. "That's it," he murmurs, his voice roughened with need. "Beg for me. Beg me to give you what you need."

An inch of his finger presses against your entrance, his touch gentle yet insistent, as his thumb slowly circles your sensitive bud, teasing and tormenting you, his touch hungry and demanding.

"You're so unfair," you moan, pleading and desperate for more. "Please 'toru, please. Need you now."

"Good girl," he grins as he parts your lower lips and thrusts his digit in deep, feeling the warmth around your plush warm walls. Your body arches back in pleasure as you let out a loud and longing moan. The sound of your moan fills the air, a symphony of desire that only feeds the fire within him. "You're so pretty like this," he murmurs, his voice a ragged whisper. "So desperate. So needy."

He begins scraping inside you softly and slowly, curling his fingers up as your walls clamp down on him, needy for more. You feel the heat rising in the car. The air is thick with your combined breaths, the windows fogged up like a veil of desire.

“Fuck ‘toru.. so good… need more,” pleading to him between your moans, your essence dripping onto him while the squelching sound of your juices fill the air.

"You want more, huh?" he breathes, his voice a low, growl. "You want everything I have to give, love?" He continues to tease you, his finger and thumb working in unison as he adds a second digit, his movements insistent. "Well, I intend to give you just that."

Moaning his name in pleasure from the intrusion, you slowly rock your hips upon his hand. The other hand continues to caress your breast as his claims your nipple with soft stimulating circles. You feel yourself eagerly approaching a sweet release. "Nnngh, don't stop 'toru... m' close"

"So close," he echoes, his voice a low, gravelly growl. "I can feel you clenching around my fingers, love. You want it so badly, don't you?" He continues, his pace quickening, determined to send you over the edge.

Your hands take purchase on Satoru's hair, intertwining his white locks between your fingertips, you lightly pull at the tousles with a desperate need to grab something, anything, as you ride out the wave of overwhelming ecstasy that he gives you. Satoru leans into the touch of your hands as you grasp for him, his eyes never leaving your face. The sight of you, flushed and wanting, only feeds his desire to give you what you need, his cock throbbing underneath you.

His fingers continue their onslaught, increasing pace and delving deeper into your core, his own breath coming in ragged gasps. You rest your forehead gently against his own while the speed of your grinding increases, eagerly matching the movement of his thrusts. "That's it sweetheart," he murmurs, his voice a ragged whisper. "Just let go for me. I want to feel you come unraveled in my hands."

His motions become more insistent, his fingers finding the spots that make you shudder and gasp. "Nnngh.. Satoru.. m' cuming."

"Cum for me, love. I want to hear you scream my name," he breathes against your lips before he captures them in a heated kiss, his tongue delving into your mouth with fervor. His fingers move more urgently, his pace relentless, determined to send you over the edge – and he does just that as you come completely undone on top of him. Moaning his name into his mouth, you feel the sweet release drip down his hand, drenching him completely.

Fuck, he wanted to cum right then and there. Holding you close, his arm encircles your waist as he swallows your moans, his tongue claiming your mouth as he kisses you deeply and greedily. His fingers slow their pace, gently guiding you through the aftershocks of your orgasm.

Pulling away from the kiss, he rests his forehead against yours while groaning in satisfaction. “That's my girl," he breathes, his voice a husky whisper. "You're so beautiful."

He slowly withdraws from within you, his hand glistening with your sweetness, and he brings his fingers to his mouth, slowly licking them clean while a low groan of pleasure escapes his lips. “Need to taste more of you.”

Every nerve in your body begins to sing with hungry desire, your head slightly spinning from the liquor while your skin tingles with the aftershocks of your pleasure. The sight of him, lazily licking his fingers clean, sends a new wave of heat through you, and Satoru’s words, so primal and possessive, only serve to stoke the flames of need within you. He shifts beneath you, his hands moving to your thighs now, gripping you tightly and pulling you down closer to his evident arousal, only separated against the thin fabric of his boxers.

"You'd better get me upstairs,” you urge, breathless from the heat of the moment and hungry for more – more of him. All of him. “I don’t think I can bear much more of this. Need you inside me," your breath tickles him as your teeth lightly nip at the sensitive skin across the length of his neck, moaning softly while you leave a trail of burning kisses across his flesh.

His body shudders under your touch as you graze him, and you feel his cock twitch against you. The feeling of your mouth on his skin is like a drug, driving his desire to a fever pitch. He leans back against the headrest, his head tilting back in pleasure, exposing more of his neck to your hungry lips.

"You're driving me crazy," he growls, his voice a low, gravelly whisper. "The things I want to do to you... you don't need to tell me twice."

But while he fumbles for the door handle, you grin against the crook of his neck as you begin to press yourself further on top of him, slowly grinding against his aching length. Ragged gasps escape his lips and you are pleased with how you have him writhing beneath you.

“Nngh.. fuck it,” he hisses. “I need you. Right. Now. Hold on tight."

And in a moment, you feel yourself pulled by a magnetizing force. You blink, and suddenly there you are, laying against Satoru exactly as you were, but now directly on top of your bed inside your apartment. He teleported you there, unable to wait a second longer.

You’ve experienced Satoru’s teleporting technique in the past, but there is one thing you both failed to take into consideration, you were drunk. The sudden force of being projected through space and time makes your stomach twist in discomfort, you bring your hand to your mouth in an attempt to fight off the nausea, and Satoru's eyes widen as he realizes the sudden shift in your demeanor, the color draining from your face as you quickly scramble off of him.

A pang of guilt stabs at his heart as he realizes what he's done – he had temporarily forgotten your slightly impaired state. Concern etched across his features, he watches you stumbling towards the bathroom, your balance betraying you. Satoru springs to action, catching you, his hands reaching out to steady you.

"Fuck," he curses under his breath, his hands gently encircling your waist as he leans you against him, guiding you carefully. "Shit, love, I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking. You alright?"

The room begins to spin as Satoru guides you towards the toilet. You slump down in front of it and begin retching, the nausea beating you in an already lost battle. Tears well up in your eyes from the burning pain that stings your throat.

Satoru's expression twists in concern as he kneels beside you on the floor, his hand gently rubbing soothing circles on your back. The sight of your tears makes his heart sink, and a mix of guilt and worry clouds his features.

"Shhh... it's okay, love," he reassures, his voice laced with remorse. "Shit, I'm sorry. I should've known better.. guess I didn’t think that one through. I really shouldn't have teleported you like that in your state."

You sit in front of the toilet for what feels like an eternity, and Satoru stays beside you the entire time, offering what little comfort he can while you let it all out. You feel your body overcome with exhaustion, aching from the tension of each agonizingly painful convulsion. As you let out the last of what your stomach has to offer, your breath becomes ragged, panting with fatigue. You curl up into a ball, resting your head on Satoru’s lap whilst closing your eyes in a desperate attempt to stop the overwhelming feeling that the room is spinning.

He gently brushes away the hair that sticks to your sweaty forehead, his touch tender and caring. "I'm sorry," he whispers softly. "I should have been more thoughtful. I shouldn't have let my impatience ruin things. I was just so caught up in the moment. You're in this state because of me."

You let out a long deep exhale while your eyes remained closed, the sound of his voice giving you slight comfort. “Satoru. I’m in this state because I thought having three shots of hard liquor and five mixed drinks was a good idea. This isn’t your fault.” Reaching for his hand, you intertwine your fingers with his own. “You weren’t the only one caught up in the moment..”

He squeezes your hand in return, his grip firm yet gentle. His thumb brushes over your knuckles, tracing small patterns on your skin.

"You know, for a woman who just emptied her stomach, you sure still know how to put things into perspective," he muses.

You scoff, a slight smile tugging at the corner of your lips. “What can I say, I’m a guru.”

"Yeah, sure. You’re a guru. Guru of making poor choices, maybe," he quips back at you with a grin. “You really thought five drinks was a good idea? You've always been a lightweight, but this time you really outdid yourself, princess," he teases.

“Shut up.” You laugh, your eyes still closed as you nuzzle your face more into the warmth of his lap.

He lifts his other hand to your face, his thumb brushing away a tear that lingered on your cheek. "I still feel guilty, though," he admits, his voice carrying a gentle tone. "I should have been more cautious, especially since I know how your tolerance is when you're drunk."

"Well hey, at least we’ve learned our lesson, right? No more teleporting drunk girls."

He chuckles and lets out a small sigh, his eyes tracing the contour of your face. "You've always been a handful when you're drunk, always tending to do things recklessly when alcohols involved. Like drinking more than you should, or getting your hand stuck in the Pringles can. Or…" he trails off, briefly recalling your shared passion in the car.

Your tired eyes flutter open, revealing a lazy smile as you respond with a playful glint. "Oh come on, getting my hand stuck in a Pringles can was a one-time thing. And it was your fault."

He looks down at you with a mixture of concern and affection. Was this all just another one of your drunk antics? He desperately wanted to know your feelings, but now wasn’t the time. You needed rest, and it’s probably best if you’re both level headed for that conversation.

"You’re gonna drink some water and brush your teeth, alright? Then, we'll get you into bed," his voice is gentle yet firm.

You nod weakly in agreement, appreciating his care and concern in that moment. The events of the night and the nausea had drained any energy you had left. Summoning the little strength that you had to pull yourself up from the floor, Satoru's supportive presence is there to stabilize you. You allow him to help you to your feet, steadying yourself against him as the room continues to spin.

"Yeah, that sounds like a good plan," you mumble softly. "I'm so tired.”

Satoru's touch is gentle and attentive as he guides you through a routine of cleaning up - supporting you to the sink to brush your teeth, helping you brush your hair and gently drying your face with a clean towel.

“Thank you, ‘toru." You mumble softly, and he smiles warmly in response. His arms lift you from the bathroom, carrying you like a delicate treasure through the hallway to your bedroom. He slowly lowers you onto the soft bed sheets with a feather-light touch and brings you a glass of water.

Satoru tenderly strips you of your evening clothes, replacing them with the comfort of your satin pajamas. The fabric is soft and soothing against your weary body and his fingers delicately guide each limb as he moves. He pulls the blankets over you, tucking you in like a cocoon. You shiver slightly as the cool sheets touch your skin, but as you sink into the softness of your bed, the exhaustion seeps into your bones, and you can feel your eyelids growing heavy.

Kneeling beside the bed, Satoru gently brushes a strand of hair away from your forehead, searching your face with a mixture of concern and affection. "Do you need anything else?" he asks, his voice a low and soothing murmur.

With a soft smile of contentment on your face, you reach a drowsy hand over to him and grab onto the fabric of his shirt, holding onto him. "Stay with me," you murmur, the words barely more than a tired whisper.

He chuckles softly, endeared by your drowsy voice and the way you hold onto him. Without another word, he carefully maneuvers himself onto the bed, climbing in beside you. Once he's settled in, he pulls you closer to him, wrapping his arms tightly around your body.

He reaches forward to switch off your bedside lamp, plunging the room into a soothing darkness. He buries his face into your hair, inhaling your familiar scent as he settles into the comfort of holding you. "I'm here," he whispers softly, his voice a soothing rumble against your ear. "Not going anywhere, love."

You feel warm – this is everything you’ve always wanted. But as you battle falling out of consciousness, you cannot stop your mind from racing. The memories of Satoru being hot and cold with his affection of you in the past – you desperately hope your feelings reached him properly. After all this, he wouldn’t push you away again… right?

“Don’t leave…” your words a soft murmur in the quiet room, revealing the vulnerability and fear lurking in the depths of your heart.

Satoru's expression turns somber as he considers your plea, his arms instinctively tightening their embrace around you. "I'm not going anywhere." he repeats, his voice soft in your ear. He feels the weight of your body relax against him as you slowly drift off to sleep.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

As you slowly slip into unconsciousness, Satoru remains wide awake, his thoughts swirling like a tempest in his mind. The memory of your shared passion weighs heavy on him, it was a moment where you were drunk while he was sound in mind – he can't shake the feeling that he was too selfish, too impulsive. He feels torn between the desire to submit to his love for you and the knowledge that it may put you in danger. Guilt gnaws at his heart.

∘₊✧

A slight beam of sun filters in through the curtains of your apartment, casting rays upon your face. Your eyes flutter open and you immediately feel an intense pang upon your temple, suddenly remembering just how much you drank last night.

You exhale in discomfort, rolling to the side to see yourself greeted with an empty bed… the sheets beside you are cool to the touch, evidence of Satoru's absence. Suddenly, memories of last night begin to flood your mind. You groan, covering your face with your arm. You acted recklessly… but you don’t regret it. You’ve desperately wanted Satoru for so long, and now you really didn’t want to lose him. Does he think last night was a mistake?

Your phone suddenly pings with a text notification. You fumble to reach for it on your nightstand, wincing as the brightness of the screen assaults your sensitive eyes. As you read the words in the message your heart jumps – can we talk about last night?

Fluttering your eyes briefly, you rub them sleepily in an attempt to steady your vision. You prop yourself up on your bed and take another good look at the message.

Suguru Geto: Can we talk about last night?

The phone feels heavy in your hand as you consider how to respond. You groan and plop back down into the mattress face first, the memories of Suguru's attempted kiss at the bar last night adding another layer of complication to your already throbbing headache.

You know you’ll need to address Suguru, but first you needed to get some food and medicine in you. After taking some Tylenol and chugging three glasses of water to help with the aftermath of your drunken night, you make a cup of coffee and fix yourself a slice of toast and a banana, hoping it'll quell the empty feeling in your stomach. You take a seat at the table, slowly nibbling on the food and sipping the coffee, feeling the caffeine start to help clear your still groggy state.

Once you've had your small makeshift breakfast, you pick up your phone again, steeling yourself to reply to Suguru's message. You muster the courage and quickly type –

Me: Yeah, we can talk.

You continue to take another sip of your coffee, and are surprised to see the phone chime almost immediately after you sent your message.

Suguru Geto: Okay. Meet you later tonight? After work?

Me: Sure.

∘₊✧

As you enter through the doors of Jujutsu High, Shoko's voice cuts through the air, making you wince as your lingering headache throbs.

“You look like shit,” she bluntly remarks as she observes you shuffle heavily on the floor, black sunglasses shield your gaze from the intense light that searches for you through the windows of the hallway.

“Gee, thanks Sho,” you mumble sarcastically.

She raises an eyebrow before continuing, her voice laced with a hint of suspicion. “By the time I got to the bar, you were already gone. You left earlier than I expected, we didn’t even get to do karaoke. What happened last night?”

“Honestly?” you say, trying to find the words. “I’m not even too sure myself what happened last night. What did Suguru tell you?”

Shoko studies your face closely, her eyes narrowing as she tries to make out your expression behind your dark sunglasses. She takes a moment to assess your state, her expression a mixture of concern and subtle curiosity.

"He didn't say much," she says slowly. "Just that you had a good time at the bar and then you randomly left early. But I could tell something was bothering him. He seemed pretty… distracted." She pauses for a moment, tilting her head slightly. "He also mentioned that you left with Gojo," she adds.

“Yeah… I was feeling sick so he took me home,” you reply slowly, trying not to give too much away. You really wanted to talk to Satoru himself before mentioning anything about last night to anyone else.

Shoko furrows her brow at your response, sensing that there's more to the story than what you're letting on. But she doesn't press further, sensing your reluctance to say more.

“Hey, speaking of… where is Satoru?” you ask while briefly glancing through the halls. “Usually he’s the first one here, ready to pester me.”

"Gojo's been pretty mysterious today. He got here earlier this morning, but he was in a weird mood. He didn't say a word to anyone and just headed straight to his office. He seemed preoccupied with something."

“I see...” you say, slight concern filtered in your voice. You really wanted to talk to Satoru, but does he want space? He left while you were sleeping last night, hasn’t texted you, and didn’t greet you like he usually does. Your heart feels a bit heavy with concern – you really hope that your actions didn’t ruin things between you two. How would you even face him? You shake your head, trying to push away the lingering thoughts. Time to focus on the task at hand – you had to get through work, then later you’d address Suguru.

Shoko eyes you closely, sensing the hint of worry in your voice. She hesitates for a moment before speaking, her voice a gentle yet firm reassurance. "Don't worry about it, I'm sure he's just busy. You know how he is, being the strongest and all."

You nod, trying to brush off the nagging feeling that something was off with Satoru. Maybe he really was just busy. "Yeah, you're right," you say, forcing a smile. “Anyways I gotta head to my mission. See you around Sho.”

"See you later. Be careful on your mission, okay?" With a final wave, she turns to head towards her own work. You take a deep breath and trek forward as you mentally prepare yourself for your assignment. You can’t afford to be distracted right now.

∘₊✧

While you’re nowhere near as strong as Satoru or Suguru, you are by no means a weak sorcerer. You hold the rank of Grade A, slowly making a name for yourself in the Jujutsu world. Typically, you can handle missions on your own, it’s really not often that you’re paired up with anyone for your assignments, but today you’ve been paired up with your fellow sorcerer, Nanami Kento, and thank god you are because the bothersome hangover almost makes you lose sight of a dreadful curse lurking in the shadows. It lunges directly at you – Nanami saves you with a black flash and eliminates the curse effortlessly.

Nanami shoots you a disapproving glance. "You need to pay attention," he says gruffly, his eyes narrowing at your distracted state. "You could've avoided that attack if you weren't so lost in thought."

You nod with a subtle grimace, and of course Nanami, as observant as ever, notices your struggle. "Are you alright, y/n?" he asks, his eyes still firm but there is concern in his voice.

“Yeah… thanks Nanami. Guess I’m just a little out of it today. Can you finish up here? I’ll go head back to campus and report to Yaga.”

Nanami studies you for a moment, his gaze assessing your tired appearance before nodding in understanding. "Alright. Be careful on your way back."

You head back towards Jujutsu High, the walk is peaceful, the sun slowly meeting the horizon. You look down at your phone, it reads 4:47pm. Your empty mailbox gnaws at you, it’s clear evidence that Satoru still hasn’t reached out to you. Agitated, you hastily tap your fingers on the keyboard, and hit send –

Me: Hey. Thanks for taking care of me last night.

After the message is sent, you stare at your phone, your fingers tapping the screen anxiously, waiting for a reply – a blue bubble, anything. But the minutes tick by and there’s nothing. The empty screen mocks you, the silence deafening, your heart sinks further.

Were you overthinking things? A pang of disappointment chews at you as the screen remains stubbornly empty. You brush your phone into your pocket and continue to walk towards the school. After a few silent minutes, although it felt like an eternity, you feel the buzz in your pocket. Quickly, you pick it up and look down to see a simple reply.

Satoru Gojo: Anytime.

A scoff escapes your lips, frustration and worry tug at the corners of your mind. The one worded message just as unbearable as his radio silence. Shaking your head, you stuff your phone back into your pocket as you walk through the entrance of Jujutsu High once again. Is this day over yet? Oh yeah, you almost forgot, you still have to talk to Suguru. Your misfortune never ends.

∘₊✧

“I see, so you and Nanami successfully defeated the curse in Ginza.” Principal Yaga speaks to you while he shuffles through the papers on his desk, his eyes not looking up at you while you give him your mission report.

“Great work y/n. You can head home for today,” But as you’re about to step out the door, Yaga promptly stops you with a sudden request.

"Actually, y/n. One more thing.”

“Yes sir?”

“Before you leave, could you bring some of these documents to Gojo for me? He was supposed to handle them yesterday, but you know how he is…" he gestures to the mound of documents on his desk with a disheveled sigh. "This is urgent – the higher-ups are getting impatient."

Satoru. The thought of seeing him right now makes you anxious, however, you know that you can't refuse Yaga's request. What excuse could you possibly give Yaga anyways? You nod, feigning nonchalance while taking the pile of papers from him. "Alright," you reply, the weight of the thin parchment feeling heavy in your hands. "I'll make sure he takes care of them."

As you gather the courage to approach Satoru's office, you can hear your heart pounding in your own ears. You halt directly in front of the door and with a deep breath, you knock firmly on it. His muffled voice instructs you to enter.

The office is dimly lit, the setting sun casting shadows across the room. He sits behind his desk and his eyes flicker up to you, but his expression remains enigmatic. Those piercing azure pools seem to stare straight through you, and you can immediately see they are somewhat detached. He leans back in his chair, his gaze fixated on you as he assesses your presence. The air between you both is thick with tension.

"Hey," he says simply, breaking the silence that hangs heavy in the room, his usual playful demeanor replaced with a more reserved one, causing a pang of trepidation to shoot through you.

“Hey,” you utter. “Yaga sent me to give you these documents,” you set them down on the desk in front of him amongst more stacks of papers. “He says it’s really important you address it.”

Satoru glances idly down to the papers before looking back up at you, his expression still unreadable. His usual smirk is nowhere to be seen; it is instead replaced by a hard, serious look that leaves you feeling unsettled.

“Thanks,” he replies curtly. He picks up the stack of papers and flips through them, his eyes skim over the words without a hint of emotion.

“So… um,” you begin, unsure what it is you want to say but desperate to see him feel something, anything, that will give you some sense of relief from the growing knot in your stomach. “Have a busy day?”

Satoru looks up from the stack of papers, his gaze locking onto yours, a flicker of irritation in his eyes. He lets out a dry chuckle, a shadow of his usual playful self. "Busy?" he repeats, with a hint of annoyance. "Yeah, I guess you could call it that. Meeting after meeting, curses left and right, and the higher-ups breathing down my neck as usual." He sighs deeply, running a hand through his messy white hair.

You know that everything about him is telling you to leave him alone, but your heart aches seeing this side of him. You feel a slight sense of guilt knowing that you probably caused more trouble for him last night, considering how late he was up taking care of you. Satoru always has so much on his plate, being the strongest sorcerer and all. He’s always sacrificing his own wants and needs for everyone else.

You yearn to break his icy front. He’s always putting on a façade, never really great about talking about his emotions, opting to brush them aside with feigned aloofness. Biting your cheek, you finally let the words come out.

“Yeah… well thank you again for taking care of me last night. Sorry I caused you trouble.”

His eyes narrow slightly at your mention of last night, his expression faltering momentarily before he quickly regains his composure. That brief lapse was enough to tell you that he didn’t want you to bring it up. He sets down the stack of papers and leans back in his chair, his arms crossing his chest.

“It’s fine,” he says, waving off your thanks. “You’re just a goddamn pain in the ass when you’re drunk.” There’s a subtle smirk on his face, but it’s lacking his usual teasing tone. “Wasn’t the first time,” he mutters as his gaze returns to the stack of papers in front of him. “Though you definitely were more clingy than usual.”

“Satoru.. about that…”

“—let’s just forget about it, okay?” he interjects, his body tense, his tone icy and his eyes peeled on the papers in front of him. “It meant nothing. You were drunk and horny, I just happened to be within reach.”

Your heart drops as a wave of emotions crash through you. You felt many things in that moment. Hurt. Sad. Angry. Very angry. You were trying so hard to be mature about this but his dismissive attitude was shattering what little composure you had. He wasn’t even giving you a moment to speak. Quite frankly, you had enough.

“Are you serious right now?” your voice laced with an evident sting.

Satoru’s eyebrow raises at your sharp tone. Despite his cold demeanor, the slightest hint of surprise flickered across his features as you retorted. His gaze lifts from the papers in front of him to meet your hurt and fuming expression.

"I’m serious," he snaps back coldly. "It was a drunken mistake. Nothing more. It didn’t mean anything." He pauses, watching you intently, waiting for your response, but you are momentarily speechless as you clench your fist in frustration.

“What?” he continues, his tone sharp. “You don’t like it when I speak the truth? Because that’s what it was. It was just a drunk accident.”

“Oh, so you’re speaking for me now?” you quip. “Who are you to say what it meant to me. I was the only one drunk last night, not you.” You feel your eyes getting wet as you fight back the tears that you desperately try to stop from falling, a lump in your throat from the pain of holding them back. “So, tell me Satoru, is that what it was for you?”

“What do you want me to say? That it meant something? That I’ve secretly been pining for you all this time?” He chuckles bitterly, his gaze hard as he looks up at you. "Sorry, sweetheart. It wasn’t anything more than what it was. If you want a friend to sleep with, why don’t you crawl over to Suguru. I’m sure he’d be happy to please you."

The second the words leave his lips he instantly regrets them. His eyes widen slightly as he realizes the weight of his hurtful words, the stoic front he was maintaining crumbles as he watches a teardrop trickle down your smooth cheek, its salty wetness carving a path of sorrow. He knew that he took it too far. He was trying to push you away, to protect you from himself, protect you from his true feelings.

He closes his eyes for a brief moment, his jaw clenching as he tries to keep his own emotions in check. He hates himself for making you feel this way… but his own fears, his own insecurities, have gotten the better of him. When he opens his eyes again, he looks at you apologetically.

"I... I didn’t..." he attempts to backtrack. But before he can find the right words to say, the sound of your choked, heartbroken gasp makes him freeze.

“You have some real nerve, Gojo.” He can see the hurt, anger, and frustration in your expression, the tears were really coming out now. You felt shattered, feeling as if last night meant nothing to him – as if you meant nothing to him.

You turn your back to him as you shift towards the door, and angling your head to the side, you speak your final peace before ultimately taking your leave. “You know what? At least Suguru is vulnerable with me about his feelings. I’m done. If you won’t even listen to what I have to say, what’s the point. Guess I’ll save my breath.”

The sound of your trembling voice pierces through his chest like a knife, pained and frustrated. He clenches his jaw, fighting back his own emotions and the growing guilt that threatens to overwhelm him.

As he watches you leave, the door swings shut behind you. He’s left alone with the silence of his office suffocating him. Every fiber of him screams to go to you, to apologize, to explain himself, but he simply can’t move and the words he wants to say feel stuck in his throat.

“Damn it,” he mutters under his breath. He rests his arms on his desk and buries his face into his hands, his mind replaying the scene over and over again. He knows he’s royally fucked up – the damage is done.

∘₊✧

The sound of your footsteps echo in the campus hallways as you wipe the streaming tears off your face. Oh god, please don’t let anyone see you like this right now. You really can’t bear it. Right now, all you want is to just crawl into bed and cry. Your best friend’s words are ringing in your mind, each retelling making the tears fall harder. You felt so stupid. So embarrassed.

You push through what feels like a never-ending hallway until finally, stepping outside, you are met with Suguru leaned up against the rail of the stairway, waiting for you. He looks relaxed as always, eyes peering out through the Jujutsu campus, a cigarette between his fingers, the smoke gently curling in the air around him.

When he looks up, the sight of your tear-stained face makes him straighten up immediately. Your expression is one of raw emotional pain. Without a second thought, he quickly stubs out his cigarette and pushes himself off the railing, walking directly towards you, his voice laced with worry.

“Hey,” he says gently. “Are you alright? What happened?”

You don’t know what else to do, desperate for comfort, you run into Suguru’s arms, tears streaming down your face as you sob into his shirt. As you collapse into his arms, the force of your body against him is almost enough to knock him off balance, but he steadies himself, wrapping his arms around you as he holds you tightly against his chest. He's silent for a moment, just letting you cry, his hand gently rubbing soothing circles on your back.

After some time, he speaks, his voice gentle and filled with concern. "Y/n... what happened?"

You exhale sharply, your breath quivering as it escapes your mouth. Sniffling, you dry your eyes and shake your head. “I don’t want to talk about it right now. Please.. can we just go?”

Suguru looks down at you, his heart clenching at the sight of your broken expression. He nods silently, his hand still rubbing gentle circles on your back. "Yeah," he replies softly. "Let's get out of here."

He gently releases you from his embrace, keeping one arm wrapped around your shoulders as he guides you away from Jujutsu High.

∘₊✧

The car ride with Suguru is quiet. For your planned talk tonight, he had arranged for reservations at a charming little restaurant in a peaceful village. He briefly mentioned how he recently discovered it on an assignment he was sent on. Truth be told, you feel a bit guilty, him doing all this. After all, he went through all this trouble, and it appears that he’s willing to put his best effort forward to have a real, mature conversation with you about how he tried to kiss you last night. Suguru means so much to you, but as much as you hate to admit it, you simply can’t reciprocate his feelings, and you know that tonight will likely lead to some sort of heartache. You’ve been dreading this conversation; likely due to fear you’ve been bottling up – part of you hopes that your friendship doesn’t falter because of this. You’ve already lost one best friend today… frankly you don’t think you can handle losing another.

Suguru steals glances at you every so often as he drives through the village. He can sense your quiet demeanor and the lingering traces of sadness in your face. It’s clear that you’re still upset about something, but he doesn’t dare to pry, allowing you to have some space to collect your thoughts.

When he pulls up in front of the restaurant, he turns off the ignition and looks at you. "We’re here," he says softly, his voice gentle and tinged with concern.

As you enter the restaurant, the quaint atmosphere immediately begins to soothe your weary soul. The gentle music playing, the soft hue, and the smell of delicious food wafting through the air work together to create a warm and comforting environment.

Suguru leads you to a cozy booth in a somewhat secluded corner of the restaurant and slides in opposite of you.

His eyes study you silently. He watches as your gaze roams around the room, taking in the ambiance of the restaurant, before finally you focus on him. “The food here is pretty good,” he comments, attempting to break the ice between you. “I hope you like it.”

“Mmm,” you hum, nodding. “It smells amazing. I’m really hungry. I barely ate this morning. My stomach was turning all day from last night.”

Suguru winces slightly as memories of last night resurface in his mind. "Yeah… about last night," his voice tentative. "We should probably talk about that."

“Right,” you lock eyes with him as let out a sigh. Might as well get straight to it. “Would you like to go first?”

"Alright…look," he begins, scrubbing a hand over his jaw. "I know things got a little out of hand last night. Firstly, I want to apologize for that. I didn’t mean to cross any boundaries with you…" he pauses momentarily, looking down at the table, taking a moment to steady himself before he looks back up at you.

"And secondly. I... I need to be honest with you. I love you. Like, romantically. I think you're beautiful, smart, kind. And honestly...I'm tired of hiding it. I’ve felt this way for a long time. And last night, it just felt like the right moment to tell you...to show you."

“I see…” you say, the weight of his confession is heavy. You can’t help but feel terrible. Here he was, taking accountability for his actions and being completely open with you... but you can’t lie to him about your feelings. And you didn’t want to string him along, it wouldn’t be right.

“Suguru, you’ve been one of my closest friends for a long time. I do love you, just not in the same way I think you feel about me… I’m sorry. I hope you understand.”

Suguru’s expression softens as he listens to your words, a mixture of acceptance and disappointment washing over him.

"Yeah... I kind of thought that might be your answer, " he admits, his voice soft. "I just..." he pauses, running a hand through his hair, "I guess I needed to tell you, to try and see if maybe..."

He trails off, unable to finish the sentence. The silent 'maybe you would feel the same' hangs between you two.

You reach for his hand across the table and look into his eyes. “I appreciate you telling me… and apology accepted. Sometimes people can get carried away when they’re drunk… call it, the heat of the moment,” you give him a soft smile. The words you speak pull at your heart a bit, as they are not only directed to him… but to yourself and your own actions.

"Yeah..." he responds quietly. "Heat of the moment." He laces his fingers through yours, giving your hand a gentle squeeze before letting go.

The waiter interrupts as he approaches you both, asking if you are ready to order. Both Suguru and you attempt to shake off the lingering awkward atmosphere.

After the waiter leaves, Suguru looks back up at you suddenly with concern, his gaze searching your features. "But...does this change things? Does it change our friendship?"

“That’s the question I should be asking you. I’m okay with putting this behind us but you need to consider if you’re comfortable being around me Suguru… I’d really hate to cause you more heartache.”

He regards you for a moment, a soft smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "Hey," he says gently, "You know me. I'm not one to let heartbreak keep me down."

There's a pause as he gathers his thoughts, his expression growing more serious. "As for being around you...I’d rather that not change. You're one of my best friends. I think we've been through too much together to let something like this come between us."

“You’re right,” you smile. “Our friendship can get us through this. Nothing will get between it.”

The waiter brings your food and you both dive into your plates eagerly. The atmosphere between you two slowly starts to feel more comfortable as you enjoy your meals, the food helping to lift your spirits. Suguru can see the color slowly returning to your face as you eat, the tension in your shoulders slowly relaxing. He glances at you every so often, studying your expression, and he can't help but notice the slight dark circles under your eyes, a clear sign of the stress and lack of sleep you've been experiencing lately.

“You’ve been looking pretty tired as of late,” he notes. “How was work today?”

You exhale, where to begin? While you’d like to confide in Suguru about Satoru, you want to be considerate of his feelings. You know you’ll have to tell him eventually, but that conversation would likely sting too much right now, so maybe it’s best to leave Satoru out for the time being.

“This pain in the ass hangover didn’t do me any favors,” you chuckle. “I’m a real idiot for taking you up on that drinking challenge.”

Suguru’s lips curl into a grin and he snickers, “Hey, I tried to warn you. When will you learn your lesson?”

“I know, I know. I’m just lucky that Nanami was assigned as my mission partner today, or I likely wouldn’t be sitting here with you. You should’ve seen the nasty curse that almost got me.”

The sound of his cutlery suddenly becomes quiet, you feel the atmosphere change instantly. You look up to see his face, hauntingly zoned out, a burning rage simmering under him. His usual calm expression hardens, his knuckles turning white as he grips his fork tightly.

"What... what do you mean a curse almost got you?" he finally asks, his voice strained as his words carry an eerie bite.

“It’s nothing really,” you say nonchalantly, a failed attempt to play it off.

"Right," he says sarcastically, a bitter edge to his voice. "It's nothing to worry about. Just another near-death experience. Just another day of risking our lives for people who don't even appreciate it. Just another day of putting ourselves on the line for those who would never do the same for us."

You halt the movement of your fork, frozen momentarily as you’re caught off guard from his sudden shift in attitude. “Suguru, it’s okay. Nanami saved me—”

“And what if Nanami wasn’t there,” he cuts you off, slamming his hands on the table, his volume rising. “It’s not fair that we have to risk ourselves for these damn non-sorcerers … these monkeys.”

There is a loud silence between you as his furrowed stare pierces into you. You’re left speechless, unsure what to say to him. He grips your hand and the violet hue in his iris’ appear to be void of everything. You don’t even recognize him.

"They don't understand the sacrifices we make y/n," his words cold. "Yet we're the ones who bear the burden. We're the ones who have to risk our lives everyday just to keep them safe, and for what?”

You begin to feel a bit nervous as people’s wandering eyes peer to the scene unfolding amongst you both – murmurs echo throughout the restaurant. Suddenly, your waiter walks over, gripping his notepad under a tense grip in support. “Is everything oka—”

Before the waiter finishes his sentence, you watch blood splatter across Suguru’s cheek. You blink – did your eyes deceive you? Suguru just killed an innocent civilian. The waiter, who moments ago was speaking to you both, now lays motionless on the ground, blood pooling around his lifeless body. There is no denying it… right?

The once peaceful restaurant erupts into chaos, horrified gasps and screams filling the air as all eyes turn to look at Suguru, who remains perfectly calm. Civilians around you are running in panic as they try to get away from the scene of the crime.

Suguru simply sits there, his expression blank. There is no remorse in his eyes – only a cold emptiness. He raises a hand, wiping the blood from his cheek with his thumb, before finally speaking. "That was annoying... I despise monkeys."

Suguru's swift and violent act shocks you to the core, causing your heart to race with fear and disbelief. “Suguru…” you manage to finally mutter, your voice catching in your throat from fright.

He looks at you, his expression still hauntingly neutral, as if all he simply did was swat a fly away. "Yeah? What is it?"

“What… what did you just do?” you ask slowly, your voice quivering in fear.

Suguru regards you for a moment, his gaze calculating as he takes in your trembling voice and fearful expression. "I merely got rid of an annoyance," he replies coolly, his voice emotionless. "A mosquito that wouldn't leave me alone. Nothing more."

Reaching for his napkin, he dabs it against his cheek with a look of disgust as he cleans off the lingering remnants of blood left from the waiter. Was this the same person you were casually talking to moments ago? The same person who held you in his arms while you cried? No. Who is this person? Every fiber of your being is telling you to run, but you cannot move, frozen in fear.

“You know y/n. My last mission got me thinking.” He casually leans back in his seat, crossing his arms as he looks at you. “Wouldn’t it be better to live in a world of just sorcerers? If these monkeys didn’t exist, curses wouldn’t be born. We could finally be free.”

You watch him intently as he begins to lift himself from his seat. A fierce cursed spirit begins to manifest behind him whilst emitting blue flames. The blaze dances around him, a sinister aura. “I bet we could make this dream a reality. You... me and Satoru.”

The air around you feels tense and thick with the shock of Suguru's statement. His words hang there ominously, the coldness in his voice sending a shiver down your spine.

"That's a dangerous thing to say, Suguru," you whisper, your voice barely audible. "A very dangerous thing..."

"Imagine it," he continues, approaching closer to you. "A world where we are the only ones to walk amongst the living. No more weak, worthless monkeys to hold us back. Just the strong. Just us."

"And Satoru?... You think he would agree with you?" you rasp as Suguru stops in front of you, his gaze never leaving your face as he answers your question.

"Satoru..." he muses, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. "He'll understand. It may take a bit of convincing, but he'll listen. He always does. He’s the most important piece – we need the strongest."

He reaches out, his hand gently caressing your cheek, his touch almost tender compared to his cold words. “He’ll come. Especially if you join. After all, he’s always been unable to say no to you.”

Your eyes expand as the realization hits you. Was Suguru using you as a tool? Your stomach spins. You’re not sure what to believe anymore – was his confession even real? What happened to this man standing in front of you, the man you once considered to be one of your dearest friends.

“Suguru…” you say, tears welling in your eyes. “You can’t do this.”

“Now y/n, don’t say that,” he muses, his voice eerily tantalizing. “After all, you’re my best friend. What was it you said earlier? Our friendship can get through this. Nothing will get between it.”

There's a hint of mockery in Suguru's tone as he repeats your words back to you. It's almost as if he's taunting you. He leans in closer, his hand moving from your cheek to your chin, tilting your face up to look at him more fully. His expression is cold and calculating, like a predator sizing up his prey.

"See? You said it yourself. Our friendship is unbreakable. That means you'll stand by me, no matter what. That means you'll listen, when I tell you something, right?"

You swallow hard and speak slowly, aware that the next words you utter will ultimately decide your fate. “I can’t, Suguru.”

“Can't?" Suguru repeats, his voice dropping to a cold whisper. He leans in closer, his eyes narrowing as he looks at you. "You can't? Or you won't?"

Your eyes flutter shut as you feel his breath dance on your face. You open them and stare deeply into the eyes you once thought were warm and filled with love. “I won’t kill innocent people Suguru.”

Suguru's face suddenly twists into a scowl, his voice is dangerously soft. “After everything we’ve been through, after I’ve trusted you with my deepest secrets, my most intimate thoughts...and you still say no?” His hand drops from your face as he takes a step back. The coldness in his gaze becomes more intense as his eyes narrow. “It’s a shame really. I always cared for you. How…disappointing.”

Chaos erupts as the cursed spirit behind Suguru lets out a screeching roar. The blue flame expands, engulfing the village, casting a hell-bent inferno over everything. The air is thick with smoke and the acrid stench of burning wood. Screams and cries echo in the air as people run in panic – they search for any salvation as they desperately attempt to flee the hungry flames devouring them.

You are locked in a vicious battle with Suguru, your bodies moving like blurs amidst the carnage and destruction around you. The once peaceful village becomes decimated before you. Buildings are reduced to nothing more than smoldering ruins, the putrid stench of death.

Suguru shows no mercy, his strength and power overwhelming. But despite his ruthless force, he intentionally chooses to leave you alive, though badly beaten and injured. As the smoke and flames of the battle clear, you find yourself lying on the ground, barely conscious. You open your eyes to see Suguru standing over you, his expression cold and void.

"I truly wish it hadn't come to this," he mutters to himself. “If you change your mind… come find me.”

Your vision begins to falter, and you can barely make out the figure walking away from you, but you know without a doubt it’s Suguru. He leaves you there, alone and helpless.

Fumbling for your phone with what little strength you have left, you try multiple times to unlock it, hitting the incorrect digits over and over again while desperately trying to remain conscious. You finally get past your home screen, and you click through your contacts. There is only one person who comes to your mind – one person for you to reach out to. As you tap Satoru’s name, you use every last bit of energy you have to send him your current location – nothing else.

The world around you goes dark, and you slip into unconsciousness.

✧ thanks for reading! part two will have fluff :') taglist is open

taglist: @haychhans @mysticnozel @luvrsbian

266 notes · View notes

biolumien · 2 days

Note

Hiiii!!!! 😊👋 So I only just started Kaiju no. 8!!! New to the fandom and not a manga reader. Idk what’s going to happen in the next episode—all I know is that Hoshina better not d*e lol.

Anyways!!! Obviously I am a huge Hoshina fan/simp!!! I really like your blog and I have enjoyed your Hoshina fics!!!!!! 🥹 And since your requests are open, I wanted to know if I could perhaps make one??? 👉👈

If so, I was wondering if you could do something sort of related to your “say it!” fic??? Like where Hoshina (+ reader) somehow bumps into the ex from operations you mentioned in the fic??? And reader gets SUPERRRRR jealous (lord knows I would be especially if said ex was really beautiful and smart) and insecure. Maybe reader acts a bit distant/moody after the encounter but once Hoshina realizes what’s up he immediately reassures reader and let’s them know how much he loves/cares for them???

Sorry if this request is weird or doesn’t make sense to you, I’ve honestly just been thinking about a similar scenario ever since reading that fic of yours 😭😭 anyways thank you so much for your time 🫶❤️ and please never stop writing, your fics are beautiful 💖💕

notes: hihi; thank you so much for your request; i hope that this is okay; you sent this in before the most recent episode but hoshina's a fairly important character to the story of kaiju no 8 overall so he'll be alright... i combined this with a slightly different ask which also surrounded jealousy but with okonogi; it's very briefly mentioned though.

jealousy as the crux

soshiro hoshina x gn!reader no warnings should apply, i think. wc: 837

hoshina always maintained rather easy conversation with a lot of people—friendly conversation that sometimes got the better of your self esteem when he teasingly doted on okonogi or otherwise.

you’d tried not to bring it up, to not bother him—because envy and jealousy like that was an ugly emotion, of course. it wouldn’t be right to burden hoshina with them–mostly because you weren’t even sure how he’d react. he was plenty envious on his own, you think–key point on think. but it might have been for more reasonable things, surely. like the envious desire to become stronger, or something noble like that.

nothing quite like yours.

but stumbling on hoshina’s ex was never on your list of priorities at all.

so the fact that she was here—was her name amaya?—only made you more uncomfortable. you barely knew anything about her other than the fact that okonogi spoke her name with strained reverence, cautious to never bring it up around hoshina. hoshina seemed to be uncaring of it all, even so–as if he couldn’t be bothered to remember.

she was smoking indoors, her eyes tired and weary.

hoshina didn’t seem to tense up when talking to her, which strangely irked you more.

“hoshina,” amaya says, approaching hoshina with a raised eyebrow. she pats his shoulder, and he chuckles.

“you look well,” hoshina murmurs.

“hm. well as i’ll ever be.” her eyes flit to you, her eyes narrowing. you felt uncomfortable under her gaze, as if you were some unique kind of insect to be pinned up in a collection. “this your new partner? they’re cute.”

“hm?” hoshina laughs. “aren’t they?”

the compliment doesn’t feel good, somehow, as it usually does.

“thought you said you wouldn’t date again,” amaya says, dusting off some ash off the tip of her cigarette, taking another breath before blowing it away from the two of you. “not that we really were.” she snorts. “you were too much of a coward last time.”

“hey,” hoshina says, sounding mock-hurt. “i figured we were better off as friends.”

“hm.” amaya exhales. “whatever you say.”

“i wish you’d sound more enthusiastic about this,” hoshina retorts, laughing again. it’s the same laugh he has when he talks to okonogi, that same doting laughter–but it also wasn’t anything special. it was the same kind of laughter he had when he talked to you, though perhaps it was tinged with more fondness when he spoke to you.

if there was anything hoshina was, it might’ve just been annoyingly consistent.

"it's hard to be enthusiastic surrounding you. your sarcastic energy exhausts me," amaya drawls.

you turn away from the conversation at this point–and yet you can feel amaya staring daggers into the back of your head.

“i’ll let the two of you finish this up,” you say, and your voice sounds far more obviously strained than you’d like for it to be.

hoshina was allowed to talk to other people. but why did amaya irk you so much? was it just the irreverent way she spoke, the way she seemed to be watching you so intently for no reason? what the hell was her problem? as you stormed off, your footsteps grew angrier as you continued to mull over it. no, seriously! what was her problem?

but what was yours, being jealous in the first place? you were being irrational–worried because you wanted hoshina’s attention for yourself but of course it wasn’t right to worry this badly about it to the point that envy would turn your stomach like this, create the brittling sensation in your heart. it wasn’t right, and the fact that you knew it wasn’t right made the whirling sense of bad in you feel worse.

you rub your face roughly, trying to shock yourself into trying to just be fucking normal.

“hey.”

hoshina’s voice is quiet when you turn around, and his face is contemplative, brows furrowed in worry.

“are you done? talking to amaya?” you ask.

“for now,” he says. his eyes focus on your face, concerned now. “are you okay?”

“i’m…”

the words die in your throat.

“i don’t want to be jealous,” you say weakly. “of whatever’s going on. but, i–”

hoshina’s hands are on your face before you can even finish your sentence, squishing your cheeks together.

“mm, i see.” hoshina blinks, humming. “why didn’t you just say so earlier?”

you blink.

“you’re not… mad?” you ask.

“mad?” hoshina raises an eyebrow, cocking his head. it looks cute. “should i be?”

“no,” you say. “i–or, i don’t know. maybe? yes?”

“which is it?” hoshina asks, a teasing smile on his face before his brow furrows a bit. “if you would have just told me earlier i could have easily just told you that there’s nothing going on between me and anyone else but you. i chose you. don’t forget that, okay?”

you blink.

“and i love you,” hoshina says, completely straightforwardly, with sure honesty. “don’t forget that.”

you nod, and he squeezes your face, leaning in to kiss you on the lips.

#kaiju no 8 #soshiro hoshina #soshiro hoshina x reader #hoshina soshiro x reader #kaiju no 8 x reader #x reader #kn8 x reader #unpopular opinion: i personally am not a fan of jealousy-based plots so i hope that this is alright #it might be the aroace in me but i just think like. talking it out is the best way to go and early; of course for other drama things #you want to like. amplify it. and as someone who was in a couple relationships before it was always hard to be cognizant of envy #but... idk. diatribe over. just talk it out; whats the point of your mouth if you don't talk out how you feel...?

99 notes · View notes

grison-in-space · 3 days

Note

I'm sorry? Pigeons have to coo to ovulate?

okay, okay, I left this one out in the tags without elaborating the other day and you were not the only person who asked-- @nanavn and @corvus--caurinus were also curious. I did not have a ton of time yesterday when my brain was not leaking out my ears, so here I am today.

First, I apparently misremembered my grad school teachings: the best-documented case study of doves being required to hear their own coo in order to ovulate is that of the ring or Barbary dove (Streptopelia risoria), not the rock dove which gave rise to our domestic pigeons (Columba livia). They look like this:

They're the domestic doves you see sometimes that aren't domestic pigeons.

But yes, I was completely serious: hens need to very specifically hear their own nest coo to ovulate. The way it works is this: these doves have a very specific courtship pattern, where courting males at different stages of the nesting process perform first a "bow" coo, then a nest coo. Then the hen makes a nest coo back, and the pair goes on to build a nest together in which the hen will lay fertile eggs.

If you prevent the hen from producing this coo--and the first paper I've linked does this in several different ways with both neural lesions and also mechanical blocks of the synrinx--she will not ovulate. Then Dr. Cheng tried rescuing the effect for doves who could hear but not produce their own coos by playing back recordings of devocalized doves' own nest coos, recordings of other hen's nest coos, recordings of male nest coos (their own males, I think, for preference?) and no recordings at all. Hen nest coo recordings, especially the recordings of the hens themselves, were enough to rescue ovulation effect... but deafened hens who could, themselves produce nest coos weren't able to make ovulation happen half the time even when the male was right there. The male nest coo and his mating display is really important, because his coo stimulates the female to make her nest coo, and that's where ovulation starts.

In 2003, a little over a decade later, Dr. Cheng wrote a whole book chapter about auditory self-stimulation as a phenomenon in neuroendocrine shifts. It makes for pretty interesting reading! I'm going to really enjoy it this afternoon. Stimulated ovulation is actually a pretty common phenomenon in animals--often it makes more sense to only bother ovulating if you know there's a partner around to use whatever eggs you yield up--but this one is one of the most interesting and elaborate systems out there, and definitely the one that offers the most options to a given female dove to potentially consciously control her reproductive output.

But grison, you might ask, what about the doves outside my window? Is this just a function of this one dove species, or are lots of doves doing this to make ovulation happen? So I went looking to find out whether anyone has checked. The thing is that the heyday of pigeon behavioral research has faded somewhat in the intervening decades since Dr. Cheng's discovery, so there's not as much as I might hope where people sat down to investigate the question. I did, however, find a neat study on Columba livia demonstrating that auditory stimulation is more important to courtship displays and success than visual displays are, although of course the multisensory courtship is stronger than either sensory modality alone. So yeah, the cooing back and forth really loudly is part of a display that is functionally necessary for successfully producing offspring, and the auditory component is important for basically every pigeon that has been studied in this respect (albeit that number is pitifully small).

I also found this really interesting review of known uses of birdsong to set internal emotional states in birds (either for the self or for a partner or flockmates) that I want to look into with more detail, plus this really thoughtful review from Dr. Donna Maney talking about how "incentive salience" can use learning and experience to make certain cues bring up neuroendocrine changes in state over time, which helps individuals control how their endocrine system is reacting to stimuli in the world they've been shaped by. Clearly I have some reading to do...

#day job #biology #doves

92 notes · View notes

amorgansgal · 2 days

Text

Practice Makes Perfect

So here we go! At long last, I've finished my fic and I loved writing this one so much! Just to ensure absolute clarity I'm kind of seeing the academy as a university, so everyone here is over the age of 20 and somehow I've pegged Gale as a complete slut evidently!

Gale x Fat Female Reader

CW: Sexual content, Oral sex

‘I really don’t think this is a good idea,’ you desperately whisper to your friend, Nira, who is dragging you through the mahogany panelled library where absurdly high bookshelves tower above you both.

The library is quieter in the late afternoons and evenings, there are only a few students either absorbed in the small mountains of books that surround them or are busily writing out long essays, the familiar, comforting sound of turning pages and the scratch of pen against paper fills the large room. As you pass the candlesticks the wicks catch alight, now that the room is getting gloomier and the sky is darkening. The sun is sinking low in the sky, casting the last rays of golden light to be dispersed through the diamond patterned windows. The dark wooden floorboard underneath your feet glitters with the thrumming magic that spills from the books in the room and the stunning reds, golds and oranges of the last light of the day.

‘Don’t be such a wet blanket,’ Nira hisses in response. ‘Besides, I thought you were interested.’

‘I am,’ you insist, though a hot blush still creeps up your cheeks. ‘But I don’t want to be mocked or for him to judge me.’

‘He’s not going to judge you. From what I heard he quite likes…’ she hesitates, pursing her lips as though wanting to find the right way of putting it.

‘Fat women?’ you prompt.

She sighs. ‘I was going to say ladies with larger thighs, but sure, fat women.’

‘You promise me, he won’t laugh or-’

‘He’s not going to laugh and if he does I’ll fireball him right in his face.’

You bite back a laugh at the thought and Nira grins at you, then continues, ‘Besides, I’ve had the joy of experiencing Gale’s tongue and it’s well worth it. Honestly, I wish he was interested in properly dating someone, because I’d throw my hat in the ring, so many men act like the whole thing is disgusting. Oh but we’re expected to suck them off whenever, even if their dicks stink like piss!’

You smile, it’s been a complaint of Nira ever since she got to experience Gale’s tongue and you’ve heard all about his ability non-stop since. Most of the girls in your class have talked about it. You’re surprised they’re not jealous of one another or are trying to win him over, but he apparently doesn’t seem to care about entering a serious relationship and is just happy to oblige his classmates’ desires. You had your concerns though that he would not be interested in you. You’d always been on the larger size, your mother certainly didn’t help matters by pointedly making remarks about how most people associated female magic users with beautiful, ethereal waif like creatures. No one thought of dumpy little witches unless they were old and ugly. You did your best to shrug off comments like that but it still stung and you felt like you had to work twice as hard as your classmates just to be given any forethought or attention from either your peers or your teachers.

Gale, when you had occasion to work with him, was refreshingly respectful, kind and seemed to actually see you. You’d grown almost accustomed to any man’s gaze immediately drifting past you and onto your thinner friends. If it didn’t happen so often you might have even been angry about it, but you didn’t really see the point. So consequently your experience with men was rather limited. You’d been kissed, sure, but it was such a fumbling, innocent mess of a kiss you weren’t quite sure whether to count it. You’d touch yourself but you always felt a bit embarrassed about it and sometimes your own self-doubts would turn you off. So it was usually a rushed affair and didn’t quite leave you fully satisfied.

‘Ah, there you are,’ Nira says as you reach the end of the library where instead of desks and rigid back chairs there are soft, plush sofas nestled in alcoves and you see Gale look up at your approach. He gives you both a warm smile and you immediately feel that this whole thing is a horrible, terrible idea. Your feet slow and Nira is practically dragging you over. Your heart is thudding in your chest, the blood rushing in your ears, and it feels like your throat is about to close up. Gale is handsome. He has foppish brown hair that tickles the back of his neck. His eyes are a warm, deep brown. His easy going smile is inviting. And you feel all your weight, the soft plumpness of your belly, your thighs catching slightly on chairs and tables as you walk over. He is going to say no, he is going to look at you like you are disgusting and repulsive and how could you even think he would want to give you pleasure?

‘Good afternoon, Nira,’ he says and inclines his head in greeting. ‘To what do I owe the pleasure?’

‘Well, it’s not so much pleasure you owe me!’ Nira says with a grin and tosses her head at you. ‘You remember Y/N, right?’

‘Of course, I still am very resentful you soundly beat me in my alchemy test!’’ he says, though there’s no malice in the tone as his smile widens and his eyes glimmer with mischief.

‘Well, she’s heard what you like to do.’

Gale laughs, and for a moment your heart seizes in terror. ‘Really? Am I getting that kind of reputation?’ he asks, though you can see he’s quite proud of such a reputation.

Nira rolls her eyes. ‘Oh come off it Gale, you’ve practically had every girl in the classroom that way and we all talk about it!’

His eyes flick back to you and a shiver runs down your spine. The pupils in his eyes have widened and you’re quite certain it has nothing to do with the gloom of the library. He wets his lips and you’re almost scared of the way he’s looking at you… he’s looking at you with desire and your silly heart doesn’t quite know what to make of it. But then he clears his throat and gives you another sweet, winning smile.

‘And I take it you’re interested in allowing me to practise? Because if you’re not and Nira has just dragged you here when you don’t like the idea, then please don’t be bullied into it. I’m very happy to have a chance to work on my technique, but I don’t like the idea of someone being less than enthusiastic,’ he says and his gaze is entirely focused on you, and you almost don’t want to look at him because it’s so startling being treated like an object of desire. But you manage to keep your head raised and your eyes fixed on him.

‘Yes, I do… I am interested,’ you say. ‘If you’re… um… interested in me, you don’t have to if it would prove distasteful.’

That same wicked, mischievous gleam is back and he draws closer to you. ‘I am interested and I assure you, it never proves distasteful, quite the contrary in fact.’

‘Gods, should I just turn my back or are you going to wait until you’ve gone somewhere more private?’ Nira asks and you flush at her words, though Gale lets out another burst of laughter.

‘I would assume my room would be preferable,’ he says to you. ‘Though Lucia and I did make use of that corner over there,’ he gestures to a table tucked into a corner by a bookshelf and you inhale quickly, imagining your hands holding tightly onto the shelves, your butt on the table and Gale’s head between your thighs. You bite you lip and press your legs together, there is no denying the desire that courses through you at the thought of the risk that would be, the possibility of being caught, though you would find it mortifying. It’s better to not get ahead of yourself and you nod.

‘I would prefer the privacy of your room,’ you say, and Gale offers his hand to you. It takes you a moment for you to take it, but he gives your fingers a gentle squeeze and then puts the book he was holding back on the shelf.

‘I assume we should go there now, unless you have prior plans,’ he says to you. Were it any other man you would have assumed he might be trying to put you off, but it sounds like he genuinely cares about whether or not you’re busy.

‘No, no, we can go there now,’ you say, then glance away because of how embarrassingly eager you sound.

‘Good,’ Gale says and takes hold of your hand more firmly. Nira catches your eye and smiles as he begins to walk by her.

‘Have fun!’ she says.

‘See you later, Nira,’ Gale says to her, you only manage a nod as you feel rather tongue tied.

***

Gale’s room is definitely cleaner than some of the guys’ rooms you had seen within the dormitory rooms of Blackstaff Academy. Oh, there’s robes tossed over chairs, the desk is littered with books, papers, quills, an open box of herbs and crystals and sublimates. But there’s no forgotten plates or dirty cups. Gale’s room actually smells quite good too, a faint hint of bergamot and cedar. He pulls out the chair in front of the desk and turns it around to face the bed, then gestures for you to sit in the chair. You sit down, nervously placing your hands in front of your belly, suddenly feeling self-conscious. Gale closes the bedroom door, then sits down on the bed opposite you.

‘So, now that Nira isn’t around, you definitely want to do this? He asks.

You nod, your throat feels very dry and tight. Gale smiles at you softly. ‘Just want to check, as I say, don’t want to do this with anyone who has doubts. I’d like to ask you a few things first.’

You nod again and curse yourself for losing all sense of any wit or wisdom you once had in your brain! But Gale is relaxed and begins work on removing his boots. ‘First, easy one, do you want me to lock the door or just have it closed. I’m sure you know I have a tressym and she comes and goes as she pleases, and while she’s respectful and polite, I don’t put it past some of our classmates not to barge in!’

You think about it carefully, then say, ‘Lock the door please.’

He casts arcane lock on the door and then grins at you, you can’t help smiling back. ‘And you know knock, so you want to get out you’re free to go whenever you want,’ he says, the implication runs underneath, you’re in control, what you say goes, if you don’t like it you can go and there won’t be any hurt feelings. You feel rather touched he’s going to all this effort.

‘Next question, would you prefer to be partially clothed or entirely naked? When I do this I do quite enjoy touching my partner everywhere, but your comfort is more important than what I find enjoyable,’ Gale says.

You look away, you still feel self-conscious about your belly and you can’t imagine Gale would want to touch the soft, fleshy weight of it, let alone even see it! ‘I’ll keep my blouse on, if that’s alright,’ you mutter.

His two fingers catch under your chin and he lifts your head. ‘It’s fine by me, but it’s more important that it’s what you find alright, your comfort comes first. Now, biggest and hardest question,’ he says, smiling. ‘Can I kiss you or would you rather I didn’t and just work my magic between your legs?’

‘Yes,’ you whisper, your eyes are captured entirely by his and your voice sounds faint. ‘You can kiss me.’

His hand slips down your cheek, lightly resting against your neck, his fingers curve round your head and he pulls you forward. His mouth finds yours and he kisses you sweetly at first, tentative, gentle, as though he is worried you might flinch away, but nothing could be further from the truth. Your heart hammers in your chest and you feel like you might forget to breathe. Your hand hesitantly goes to his chest, you don’t want to push your luck, but he instead presses his free hand over yours and you can feel the warmth of him bleeding through his shirt. He lets out a groan and then pulls away from you, breathing hard and certainly wearing an expression of wanting to eat you up.

‘Sorry,’ he says. ‘If I’m not careful I’ll get carried away!’

You wonder what ‘carried away’ might entail, given what you’re about to do. But you don’t have much time to think about it, he helps you up from the chair and unties the laces of your skirt. He tugs it down over your hips and you watch him bite his lip when your thighs come into view, he’s utterly focused on your legs and his hand reaches out eagerly, but he seems to collect himself to not just grab a meaty handful. Gale gently strokes down your thigh and guides you to the bed, grabbing the pillows and putting them behind your back. He removes the slippers that had been on your feet, tossing them off into a corner of the room and seems to admire the stockings you wear, though they aren’t particularly sexy you think, just the fairly standard academy uniform ones. Once you’re comfortable, he returns to looking at your legs, he traces his fingers up from your ankles to just behind your knees, making you shiver. You still feel a bit embarrassed about Gale seeing you like this, of opening your legs so he can see all of you.

Gale catches your eye and smiles. He leans down and kisses you, that same sweet, soft kiss. ‘You alright?’ he whispers.

‘Mmhm,’ you manage, well at least you made a sound this time. Gale chuckles quietly.

‘You look so beautiful,’ he says, then trails kisses down your mouth, your jaw and neck, nipping at your ear and making you gasp as the hot little jolt of pleasure soars through you. You decide to ignore that him saying you’re beautiful is probably both something he says to all the girls who come to him for this and also definitely a lie in your case.

He scoots down the bed and slowly pulls apart your legs, his stare is so intense you have to close your eyes. His fingers skim up your legs, his nails stroke down your thighs, until they reach the crease between them and your mound.

‘Hmm pretty,’ he says, and he pulls his right hand away for a moment. You open your eyes to see him with his thumb in his mouth that he pulls out with a pop and then he places it against your clit and circles it. The sensation makes you gasp and arch up, though you still cover your belly with your arm. Gale lets out another tight groan and suddenly lies down between your legs, his fingers still play with your clit, feather-light touches sliding down to your entrance and teasing it, then going back up making you bite your lip hard to not let out a sound.

‘You can make as much noise as you like, in fact I’d rather you do,’ he says, then brings one of your thighs over his shoulder. Your eyes flicker open as he presses kisses against it. He nips at the sensitive skin, a playful, teasing bite. ‘It tells me if I’m doing a good job.’

He keeps kissing down your thigh and suddenly he’s at the apex, his hungry dark eyes watching you intently, you can feel his breath on your nether regions, your belly feels tight and it’s all you can do to both stay on the bed exactly where you are or beg him to relieve you of the growing ache and need for something. He gives you one quick, delicious smile and then buries himself between your thighs. You don’t know what to expect, but his warm tongue darting out, circling your clit and then more firmly suckling it makes you feel like a hot jolt of electricity zapped through your body. The pleasure is mind melting and Gale is all to happy to apparently drown in you, his mouth and lips and tongue… You forget yourself, forget all your shame, the hatred of your body, the disgust you feel with yourself, and surrender yourself utterly to pleasure.

He’s good, too good. He seems to cotton on quickly to what you like, how best to draw out every bit of pleasure, everything that makes your toes curl, that tighten the muscles in your thighs, that makes you instinctively grasp a handful of his brown hair between your hands and he keeps bringing you to the peak of pleasure over and over, until you see stars in your eyes and feel so lost to it all, so desperate you wind up babbling and pleading for him to let you cum.

‘Please Gale, please, please, don’t stop, please don’t stop. I need it, I need it so badly!’

You feel his laughter vibrate through his body, but finally, mercifully, he acquiesces and you are undone by pleasure, it roars through your body like a furnace, his tongue still maddeningly teasing your clit and you are left almost sobbing on the bed, uncaring of the warm gush between your legs, the air not filling your lungs enough, the world feels dizzy and spectacular and glorious. His head pops up and you can’t help the laugh you let slip at his slightly dazed, but altogether thoroughly pleased expression.

‘You need to taste yourself,’ he insists, and he kisses you again fiercely, his tongue sliding into your mouth and you do. It’s not a bad taste to your surprise, musky and a little tart, but intoxicating and sweet. Once he’s satisfied he raises his head, though he’s still lying on top of you, he rests his forehead against yours and sighs contentedly. His chin and small beard is soaked through. ‘How was that?’ he asks.

It takes you a moment to clear your throat and find your voice, but more because you’ve been done in, not because you are flustered. ‘Good, very, very good. Thank you.’

‘No, thank you,’ he says, and you let out a breath of laughter that he’s still ever the gentleman. He gets to his feet, grabs an empty basin and a cloth, and comes back to your side. He fills the bowl with warm water using a prestidigitation spell and starts work cleaning you up, tenderly washing you down, though you almost feel a little disappointed you couldn’t keep the slick between your thighs. There’s already a delightful prickling sensation from where his beard rubbed against your legs.

He helps you to your feet, then picks up your skirt, giving it a little shake to remove any dust and holding it open for you to step in. ‘I can manage to dress myself,’ you say.

‘I know, didn’t doubt that, Miss beats-me-soundly-at-alchemy,’ he teases. ‘But I like doing this.’

He brings over your shoes and insists on helping you with those too, having you sit back down on the bed as he puts them on your feet. You have a feeling it might just be because he gets to touch your legs once more.

‘You have the best legs,’ he murmurs.

You let out a snort of laughter. ‘Given how many you’ve apparently seen, I doubt that!’

But he vehemently shakes his head. ‘I mean it, the best legs in the whole school. If you ever wish for another time I’d be happy to oblige, but I’d quite like it if you sat on my face.’

‘Gale, I’d squish you or break your nose!’ you say.

His eyes gleam at the thought. ‘Well worth the risk!’ He gets to his feet, then offers you a hand and after helping you up, he turns your hand over and presses a kiss to the knuckles. ‘Please come back any time.’

You shiver with delight at the thought, but simply nod and leave the room.

***

Of course Nira wants all the juicy, sordid details and you spend the better part of the evening quietly whispering and giggling in your dormitory room as you recount it. She does seem surprised though when you mention that Gale had asked if he could kiss you.

‘Really? He didn’t ask to kiss me,’ she muses, then gives a shrug. ‘Maybe that’s just something new he does, though I swear Jacanthe was just before you and she didn’t talk about him kissing her. I’ll have to ask her at breakfast.’

It’s an odd, trivial notion you’re sure, but you can’t help the pleased little smile at the thought that maybe, just maybe he had solely wanted to kiss you. But you dismiss it, Gale could have any women at the academy and you know better than to get swept away with the idea that maybe his feelings ran deeper for you than anyone else!

#gale x reader #gale x female reader #gale x fat female reader #gale x f!reader #gale x f reader #gale of waterdeep x female reader #gale of waterdeep x f!reader #gale of waterdeep x f reader #gale dekarios x female reader #gale dekarios x f! reader #gale dekarios x f reader #gale dekarios x fat female reader #gale of waterdeep x fat female reader #gale smut #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #bg3 gale

52 notes · View notes

maximoffcarter · 2 days

Text

Moving on.

Pairings: Casey Novak x Alex Cabot (Past), Casey Novak x reader.

Summary: Casey Novak thought she could never open her heart to anyone else after what she had gone through in the past, but the moment she met Alex, she changed her mind. But sometimes things don't go the way we want them to.

A/n: Sorry for the delay, shit happened but I figured that posting could distract me at least a bit, so here it is guys😌 This was requested by anon, this anon has requested amazing things and I am so thankful for this sweet anon (hope it is the same if not, I still think you amazing). It was hard, ngl, I had to take a hard decision but here is the final result. More to come guys, I'm working on everyone's requests. Hope you guys enjoy this, leave comments, hearts, whatever you like and reblog so this gets some love🫶🏻

*not my gif*

The moment Casey met Alex when she started working in White Collar, she believed that she had gone to heaven and back. She had heard so many things about A.D.A. Alexandra Cabot, she had seen her before in court, and the little crush she had developed in her had only grown the moment they had run into each other when they were both getting lunch in the same place. People would call it a coincidence, but for Casey, this had definitely been fate putting them together; it was silly, yes, but she couldn’t help the thought of it. After that day, it became a routine to set a time for lunch and go out, or Alex calling Casey to come to her office and have lunch there. It took about a month or so for Alex to finally ask Casey out on an official date, she had wanted to do it for so long, but never got the guts because Casey was just so perfect in her eyes that she’d never want someone like Alex.

They had even spent nights together in each other’s apartments, late nights were they were entangled in each other’s bodies, laughs, long conversations, etc. And it had taken them another month to finally make things official; Alex had been the one to pop the silly but cute question one time that they were in her office late at night. Casey had almost begged Alex to let her stay with her because she didn’t want to leave Alex alone, but in reality she just wanted to spend more time her, it was her favorite part of the day, and she was not about to miss it that day. And after an hour or so, Alex couldn’t help but stare at Casey the whole time, a smile painted on her face. Every day that she had spent with Casey, she had not been able to take Casey off her mind, she was the happiest she had ever been, and there was no denial that Casey felt the same way, not when Casey showed her every single day that she loved having Alex around.

“Alex?” Casey asked softly.

Alex snapped out of her trance and smiled. “Yes?”

Casey chuckled softly. “I lost you there for a moment. What were you thinking about?” She grinned softly.

“Nothing.” Alex grinned back.

“Oh, you were thinking about something. I know that look.” Casey chuckled as she closed her file and put her hands together as she waited for Alex to talk.

Alex smiled and shook her head, looking away. “It’s stupid.”

“Nothing is ever stupid when it comes to you, Alex. You should know that by now.” Casey said softly as she smiled.

“Want to be my girlfriend?” Alex suddenly said as she looked back up at Casey, nervously nobbling on her lip.

Casey stared at her and grinned, trying to hold back the chuckle that wanted to come out. “Alex…I thought we were already dating.”

“We…were?” Alex furrowed her brows. “I just…I didn’t…”

Casey chuckled softly as she put the file on Alex’s desk and stood up to walk to Alex, pushing her chair back and sitting on her lap, wrapping her arms around her neck. “You’re right, we never actually talked about it.” She smiled softly.

“You thought the nights you spent with me were enough?” Alex teased as she looked into those beautiful green eyes that she loved.

Casey tilted her head as she wetted her lips teasingly. “Maybe so.” She grinned. “And yes.”

Alex raised her brows as she smiled. “Yes?”

Casey chuckled as she nodded. “I’d love to be your girlfriend.” She smiled as she leaned down and kissed Alex’s lips softly.

Alex smiled against her lips as she wrapped her arms tightly around Casey, kissing her back softly. “I’m sorry if that was cheesy.” She chuckled.

“Oh, I love when the Ice Queen is all cute and cheesy.” Casey chuckled as she kissed her forehead. “Only I get to see this side of you, and I love it.” She looked into blue eyes as she smiled.

Alex blushed slightly as she nodded. “Only you get this side.” She smiled. “And I get the cheeky, smiley Casey.” She grinned softly as she kissed her cheeks, right where her dimples were showing.

It was Casey’s turn to blush, giggling as she nudged Alex. “Stop that!”

“What? I love when your dimples show.” Alex grinned. “You look so cute.”

“Okay, now you are being really cheesy.” Casey teased as she brought their lips back together.

Casey couldn’t have asked for anything better than this moment right here. Even after always having the idea that she didn’t want to get involved in any relationships, she was happy that she could be in one with Alex. She was willing to do anything to make things work, just like she knew that Alex would do anything for them too.

********************

A year or so had passed since Alex and Casey had made their relationship official, at some point, it was decided that Casey would be working some cases with Alex since she had a load of work, but she was not officially part of Sex Crimes, still sticking with White Collar. Their relationship have been so easy, it felt so unreal how well they both worked together. They both understood each other for the jobs they did, and even if their personalities were different, that’s what completed them so perfectly. They both had fallen for each other deeply, even the squad teased Alex on how she had changed once Casey entered her life, and she loved it, she couldn’t deny it. It was everything she had always wanted, and it was everything she needed in her life.

“So, when is Alexandra Cabot gonna propose?” Elliot raised his brow as he looked at Alex, who was sitting with them in the squad room.

Alex looked at Elliot with wide eyes. “W-What? I’m…that’s not happening. I mean…not yet.”

Olivia laughed softly. “Oh, c’mon! You both are so in love, we want to attend a wedding. We need some happiness after the horrible things we see here.”

Alex rolled her eyes playfully as she huffed a chuckle. “We…have not talked about it, okay? C’mon, guys. We just moved in together like two months ago, give us a little break.” She chuckled nervously.

“Fair enough.” Olivia nodded as she raised her brow. “But I’m pretty sure that if you asked Casey…she’d say yes pretty quickly.” She grinned.

Alex stared at Olivia for longer than she expected as she nodded. Of course, this had been stuck in her mind for the whole day, thinking back to her relationship with Casey and how happy she was, the happiest she had ever been and the happiest she could ever be. They were already living together, they were already doing everything that any other married couple did, right? So…marriage didn’t sound bad. She did want to spend her whole life with Casey. And as in for Casey…she wanted that too, but she had barely said anything about it because maybe it was too soon, she had already been engaged once and it had not ended the way she wanted to, so she was a bit afraid that maybe this thing would go the same way, but it was Alex…Alex would never do that.

Casey sighed as she closed the door behind her and smiled softly as she saw Alex walking towards her. “Did you just get home too?”

Alex nodded. “I did.” She chuckled softly as she took Casey’s briefcase and placed it on the rack. She wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled her close to her body to kiss her. “Hi.” She whispered against her lips.

“Hi back.” Casey smiled against her lips and then kissed her softly. “You had dinner?”

Alex tilted her head as she smiled. “I was thinking that maybe we could go out.”

Casey raised her brows as she grinned. “Oh, Alexandra Cabot is inviting me on a spontaneous date?”

Alex nodded. “Maybe I am.” She smiled. “What do you say?”

Casey smiles softly and nodded. “Let me get out of these clothes first.” She leaned in to peck her lips and then walked to their room.

After dinner, both women decided to take a scroll through the city, it was still somehow early, not too late to be out in the streets of New York. They kept talking about everything and nothing at the same time, just enjoying each other’s company. Moments like these were the ones that they both enjoyed to the fullest, it wasn’t every day that they had a chance to go out and enjoy a nice dinner and walk, they’d normally go back home, have some dinner, and go straight to bed because work would be waiting the next day. This is exactly what Casey wanted her life to be like. She wanted this life with Alex. They both understood each other’s jobs, they understood each other’s lives, and they couldn’t be happier. For a moment, it crossed Casey’s mind that maybe, just maybe…Alex was the one.

********************

Casey ran through the hallways of the hospital as she panted, her phone and bag in hand as she looked around. Earlier that day, Casey had talked to Alex about dropping a case she had, they knew their address, they knew Casey was Alex’s girlfriend, they knew every little detail about Alex’s life, they were both at risk, but Casey cared more about what could happen to Alex if she continued this case. She had almost begged Alex to drop it, and finally, she had decided to listen to Casey.

“Promise me, Alex.” Casey said softly as she placed her hands on Alex’s neck, green eyes looking into blue ones.

Alex smiled softly as she nodded. “I will.” She pulled Casey close to her body and rubbed her back. “I don’t want to put you at risk.”

“I don’t care about me, Alex. It’s you who’s prosecuting. I just want you to be safe.” Casey said almost in a whisper, as if talking louder would hurt them both.

Alex leaned in and kissed her lips softly. “I’ll be okay.” She whispered against her lips, kidding Casey’s chin, forehead, nose, and cheeks, smiling softly as Casey giggled.

Casey rolled her eyes playfully. “Good.” She smiled softly and kissed Alex’s lips softly.

“You’re adorable, you know that?” Alex smiled.

“And you’re stubborn.” Casey raised her brow playfully.

“And you love me for it.” Alex chuckled as she leaned in and kissed her lips again.

Casey had court all day, so she only got a text from Alex saying that she had dropped the case and now it was the feds turn, and Casey had texted her back that she’d be seeing her that night, she’d treat Alex to dinner. And then, later that night, just when she was about to call Alex to let her know she was on her way, she got a call from Olivia; Alex had been shot. She had never ran as fast as she did, not even for her games. Her feet hurt because of the annoying heels, but she didn’t care, she needed to get to the hospital.

Casey spotted Olivia and Elliot and walked to them, panting heavily. “Where is she?” She looked between the two of them as she tried to catch her breath.

“Case…” Elliot whispered softly as he looked down at the floor.

Casey frowned as she looked at him and then back at Olivia. “Liv? Where is Alex?”

Olivia took a deep, shaky breath as she placed her hand on Casey’s shoulder. “Casey…she lost a lot of blood. She never made it off the table.” She said softly as tears rolled down her cheeks.

Casey shook her head as she took a step back. “No…no. You’re…you…” she felt a pressure in her chest and suddenly the whole room was spinning. “…no…you’re…I need…Alex. She…she needs me. I…” she sobbed uncontrollably as she fell on her knees.

Casey didn’t know when or how Elliot and Olivia had gotten her on her feet and out of the hospital. Casey could only listen to their voices saying that everything would be okay and that she was not alone, but Casey get off her mind that her lover was gone. She was gone. Forever. Why did this happen? This had to be involved to the case. But she dropped it, she had just dropped it that day, it wasn’t her fault that the feds had caught him. This was not happening, this was not real. The whole ride to their apartment, Casey had been numb, no words had been able to leave her mouth, she felt like her voice was gone. Olivia said something about her needing to stay somewhere else, they had to keep an eye on her too since they knew about Casey. But did it matter? She didn’t care. They had killed her lover.

Casey walked inside their apartment and stood there for a moment, not being able to move at all. Part of her waiting for Alex to walk out of their room and come greet Casey, hug her, and kiss her, tell her that Casey had just been all day at court that she was now hallucinating. But she had stood there for fifteen minutes, and nothing had happened, silence surrounded her, and that’s when Casey’s mind focused back to reality. She closed her eyes as she sobbed, letting herself fall on her knees again. She sobbed quietly, as if she was afraid to be heard, but there was no one there, no one would hear her. She was alone. Casey jumped slightly as she felt arms wrapping around her tightly, she freaked out for a moment but then she heard Olivia’s soothing voice.

“I’m here.” Olivia whispered softly, resting her head against Casey’s.

“She’s gone.” Casey cried out.

Olivia nodded as she sighed. “Yes, sweetheart.”

Casey shook her head. “Why her?”

Olivia tried to swallow back her tears for Casey, she needed to be the strong person at the moment. “I’m not sure, Case. I wish I had the answer.”

“Are you guys going to look for the person who…” Casey took a shaky breath. “…who did this?”

“We don’t know.” Olivia said softly as she rubbed Casey’s arms. Casey nodded softly as she rested her head against Olivia’s chest. “Wanna stay with me tonight? So you don’t go to a hotel.”

Casey thought for a moment and then nodded. “Thanks.”

Casey made a mental note that she’d start looking for a new place. She couldn’t possibly stay here. She couldn’t live in this apartment without Alex. She didn’t know how she was going to continue without Alex.

********************

Casey had almost quit the moment Branch and Elizabeth talked to her and offered her Alex’s spot. She was furious that they thought about her for the spot, but as Elliot and Olivia had told her, there was no one else that Alex would want in her place. Alex trusted Casey in every way, including their job. It took her almost two weeks to finally accept the spot, and another week to finally be able to show up in the precinct, and finally be able to get back to work. The first day, she had gone back to her apartment and cried most of the night, not only for how pressured she felt about the case, but also because normally when they had a stressful day, Alex had always been there.

Now almost a whole year since Alex had died, and even if Casey had been going to a therapist, she still couldn’t help but miss her. It took her some time to adjust to her new routine, new job, new office, new environment, new apartment…new life. She had been thankful that Olivia and Elliot had been there through it all, even if Alex had been closer because they worked together, ever since they started dating, Casey also became their friend, and she was thankful that at least at this moment of her life, she had never been alone. She walked into the precinct looking for Olivia and Elliot, but no one was around. She looked at her watch and sighed softly as she realized that maybe they were still at the scene.

“Can I help you?”

Casey turned to find a girl standing just a few feet away from her. “Uh…who are you?”

The girl huffed a chuckle. “I’m…y/n. Y/n y/l/n. I’m the new detective.” She smiled softly. “And you are?”

“Casey Novak. The A.D.A.” Casey said firmly.

Y/n nodded. “Oh! Hi! Well, guess you don’t need my help then.” She chuckled softly.

Casey couldn’t help but smile a little. She found it cute how she was nervous. “First days are not as expected, huh?”

Y/n smiled as she nodded. “Definitely not. I was…left here to find some records, and I’m still waiting for them. I was supposed to go with Olivia and Elliot, but they left in a rush.”

“They’ll warm up. You just need to listen to them.” Casey offered a small smile.

“You’re also new?”

Casey huffed a chuckle as she shook her head. “Ah, no. Actually, I’ve been working with them for a while now. But I was new too. And I know how it feels. But all I can tell you is that they’re a great team. You’ll learn a lot from them.”

Y/n smiled. “And from you?”

Casey stared at her for a moment, not sure what to answer to that. “Sure.” She nodded. “Uh…I don’t…see why not.”

“Good.” Y/n noticed that the squad was walking into the squad room, and she returned her stare to Casey. “Duty calls, Casey Novak.” She grinned as she walked to Olivia and Elliot.

Casey stood there for another minute before she turned to the squad and focused on what they had for the case. Every now and then, she could feel y/n’s eyes on her, and she wanted to be mad about it, she wanted to snap at her for it, but in reality…she felt flattered. She wanted to look at her and let her know that she noticed and give her a grin or a smirk. But why did she want to do that? Was it wrong? Wait…what was wrong? Why am I thinking if it’s wrong? Casey tried to focus back on the detectives and focus on the case, trying to push away any annoying thought.

A few weeks passed since the day she met y/n, and she had tried everything in her power to avoid y/n at all costs, mostly because she had no reason to talk to her when Olivia and Elliot were leading the case, but also because she wanted to avoid her intrusive thoughts about the girl. But then, in y/n’s fourth case, around a month and a half later that she joined, she had made most of the case and the squad had wanted to celebrate the victory of it, not only because of y/n’s terrific work, but because Casey had also won the case, so it was to celebrate both of them. For most of it, Casey tried to stay in the middle of Elliot and Olivia, only listening to them and every now and then joining in the conversation, but that was until Olivia moved and she was beside y/n, and not long after, they had engaged in a conversation full of laughs.

“I’m going for another drink, anyone wants one?” Y/n asked around and then looked at Casey.

Casey smiled as she nodded. “Please.”

Y/n nodded as she grinned. “Coming right up.” She grabbed the empty glasses and headed to the bar.

Olivia moved back beside Casey and raised her brow. “So.”

Casey looked at her and shrugged. “So?”

“You and y/n.” Olivia grinned.

Casey scoffed and shook her head. “We’re not doing this, Liv.”

Olivia tilted her head. “C’mon, Case. You’re gonna tell me that you two didn’t connect since the moment you met? I can see you’re avoiding her.”

Casey furrowed her brows. “Are you…are you keeping an eye on me or something?”

Olivia offered a small smile. “It’s been tough, Casey. But…you’re allowed to.”

“Allowed to what?” Casey raised her brow.

“Allowed to move on, Casey.” Olivia said softly as she smiled.

Casey stared at her for a while, trying to process the words that Olivia had just said, but before she could answer anything else, y/n had returned with their drinks and had gotten in the middle of Olivia and Casey. Soon after, the three of them had engaged in a new conversation, but Casey was still processing what Olivia had said. She was allowed to move on. She was…allowed to continue with her life like she had done it lately. She moved into a new apartment, she accepted Alex’s spot, she had created a new routine, had found a new place to practice batting, she had even changed her hair color…there were a lot of things that she had changed and new things that she had started to do, so…why not give herself that chance?

********************

“Oh, c’mon, Case! You gotta admit that I’m slowly becoming better.” Y/n grinned as she looked at Casey, taking a sip of her water as they walked through the streets of New York.

Casey rolled her eyes playfully as she grinned. “I admit…you’re a bit better but…I know you still have more in you.”

“I’m learning from the best, next thing you know, I’ll be joining the softball team and I’ll go against the great Casey Novak.” Y/n smirked as she looked at Casey.

“Oh, I’d like to see you try.” Casey chuckled softly as she looked back at y/n.

Y/n smiled softly as they came to a stop. She sighed softly and then looked away. “I’m glad you finally loosen up with me.”

Casey furrowed her brows as she stared at y/n. “What?”

Y/n shrugged. “Well…for the first month or so…you were kind of off with me. And then we started hanging out more and I got to meet a whole new side of Casey Novak.” She looked back at Casey and smiled. “I like it.”

Casey smiled softly as she looked down at the floor, nodding. “I’m sorry I uh…” she cleared her throat. “I normally don’t open up so easily and I…I was still going through some things.”

“And now 5 months later…we’re friends.” Y/n smiled playfully as she raised her brow.

Casey looked at her and laughed softly. “Yes, y/n. We are.” She smiled.

Y/n nodded as she looked down at her tumbler. “So…it’d be a wrong move to ruin it, right?”

Casey furrowed her brows. “What?”

Y/n sighed as she cleared her throat. “You know what? Don’t mind me. I’m gonna take the other way cause I need to go buy some stuff but I-“

“No.”

Y/n furrowed her brows as she looked at Casey. “What?”

Casey stared at her and shrugged. “It wouldn’t be a wrong move.”

Y/n grinned, trying to hide the fact that she was nervous. “You…know what I meant with that.”

Casey shrugged as she grinned. “One of my many talents, not only because I’m an attorney.”

Y/n chuckled softly as she nodded, looking down at the floor for a moment. “Well…” she cleared her throat again as she looked back up at Casey. “Would you maybe…like to go out for dinner? Maybe Friday?”

Casey smiled softly as nodded. “Yes, I’d like that.”

“Good. I’ll pick you up…7:30?”

“7:30 pm. Noted.” Casey smiled.

Y/n chuckled softly. “Noted.”

Casey raised her brow. “So…were you really going the other way, or did I make you nervous and you were trying to escape from me?”

Y/n blushed slightly and scrunched her nose. “Second one?”

Casey rolled her eyes as she grabbed y/n’s arm. “C’mon.” She chuckled as they crossed the street.

********************

“What?” Olivia said as she stared at Cragen.

“What didn’t you tell us?” Elliot asked almost in a whisper as he stared at Cragen.

Cragen sighed. “It was to protect her. I found out after her funeral.”

Olivia raised her brows as she felt her eyes getting teary. “Almost two years…and she’s…alive.”

“She’s in Wisconsin.”

“Casey.” Olivia whispered as she furrowed her brows. “How are we supposed to tell Casey? She charged him with the murder of Alex. And we supported her because we…”

“We need to tell her. Because…” Cragen sighed as he looked at both of them. “I might have convinced her to come back to help us with the case.”

Elliot scoffed as he crossed his arms. “And you believe Casey is not gonna kill us for this?”

“I’ll take full responsibility. But we need to win this case. For Alex. And for Antonio.”

Olivia nodded as she scoffed, walking out of his office. Olivia thought it was best to not call Casey yet and let the rest of the squad know that Alex was alive. Almost two years of thinking she was gone, but now she was about to return. Olivia pulled y/n aside and explained to her the whole situation, opting to tell her about Casey and Alex before anything else happened. Casey and y/n had started dating after a few dates, it had been a few months of it, and both seemed very happy; Casey seemed very happy. How could they tell her now that her ex-girlfriend, the woman she thought was the one and had died, was returning to help her case.

Casey was getting some files from her desk when the door opened and Elliot, Olivia and y/n walked into her office. Casey looked up at them and smiled. “Hey. Something wrong? Found something else on Connors?”

Elliot cleared his throat as he looked at Olivia and y/n. “Casey…we need to talk.”

Casey furrowed her brows. “What about?”

“You need to drop the charges on Alex’s murder.” Elliot simply said, not able to find any other way to say it.

Casey tilted her head confused. “Uh…and why would I do that? That helps our case, we have a chance to get him behind bars, get justice. Why would I do that?”

Y/n sighed as she looked at Olivia and then at Casey. “Case…there’s something you need to know.” She walked to her and grabbed her hand. “I just learned about this…about Alex. But uh-“

Alex.” Casey whispered softly, her eyes glued to the door.

Everyone turned around and her eyes widened as Alexandra Cabot stood by the door, smiling at them. They all stood there, just staring at Alex, and that’s when Alex realized that maybe it hadn’t been the best idea to just show up like that. Y/n felt Casey squeezing her hand, making her turn to look at Casey, and that’s when she noticed the tears in those green eyes that she loved so much. For what Olivia had told her, Alex had meant more than anything else to Casey, and her death had caused Casey a great pain, and now she was back, she had to lie to protect herself and that included lying to the people she cared about.

“Get her out of here.” Casey snapped, breaking the silence.

“Casey…” Alex whispered softly.

“Out. Now.” Casey walked to the other part of her office without looking at her anymore.

Y/n turned to look at Olivia and Elliot and nodded, her eyes landing on Alex for a second before she followed Casey and closed the doors. Y/n stood there for a second, not sure if she was supposed to walk to Casey or not if she was even supposed to be in the room. But she believed that it was the right thing to do since they were dating, and she wanted to be there for Casey no matter what. Almost as in cue, y/n opened her mouth to say something and suddenly Casey was walking to her and wrapping her arms around her, tightly. Y/n only wrapped her arms around her, holding her as she cried and sobbed, y/n pressed soft kisses on her head and let Casey cry as much as she wanted.

“She lied.” Casey finally whispered after a few minutes, her arms still wrapped around y/n.

Y/n sighed softly. “She was in Witness Protection, Case…she couldn’t just come back.”

Casey pulled away and looked at y/n, furrowing her brow. “Who knew? Olivia and Elliot knew?”

Y/n shook her head. “No. Cragen did, though. He told Elliot and Olivia this morning, and…Olivia told me before we came here.”

Casey nodded. “So you know.” Y/n nodded. “Baby…I-“

“It’s not like I wasn’t conscious that we dated other people before, Case.” Y/n chuckled softly as she stroked her cheek softly, wiping away her tears. “You were not ready to talk about her, and I get that. I told you when you told me about…” she smiled softly and stared into Casey’s eyes. “…I told you that I’d be here, no matter what, and whenever you wanted to talk, about anything, I’d be here to listen. And here I am.”

Casey smiled softly, placing her hands on y/n’s neck, and pulling her closer to her, leaning in to kiss her lips softly. “Thank you.” She whispered softly against her lips.

Y/n smiled and kissed her lips softly. “You got nothing to thank me for.”

“I do…because you’re still here.” Casey smiled.

“And I am not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me, Casey Novak.” Y/n smiled as she peppered her face with kisses.

Casey chuckled softly as she wrapped her arms around y/n’s shoulders to hug her, feeling somehow relieved as y/n wrapped her arms around her waist to hold her closer.

********************

“Alright, y/n and Olivia will be here any minute. I believe we’re done with my questions.” Casey said as she closed the door and walked to her desk.

Alex sighed softly as she turned to look at Casey. “Are we not going to talk other than about the case?”

Casey turned to look at Alex, a serious look on her face. “What about? The fact that I got a call from Liv telling me that you had been shot and you were in an ambulance, in critical condition, I dropped everything to get to you in time, but I got there, and you were gone? That I sobbed uncontrollably at your funeral, your mother and I held each other. Or…the fact that you thought it would be better to leave and never tell us that you were alive.” She felt tears in her eyes as she spoke. “What do you want to talk about, Alex?”

Alex closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she stood up to walk to Casey, raising her head to look at her. “I wanted to call. I tried to convince them so I could at least call you, and let you know that I was okay, and that…at some point I was going to come back.”

“Oh.” Casey scoffed. “That’s rich. You wanted to let me know that you were coming back at some point?” She shook her head. “You left me without a word, without a text, without a phone call. Did you just expect me not to move on?”

Alex felt her heart dropping as she stared at her. “You…you moved on?”

Casey tilted her head. “You wanted me to wait for you? You were dead to me, Alex! For two years I thought you were gone! I mourn you, I cried every night for you for so long, and you wanted me to not move on?!”

Alex was taken aback by Casey’s reaction, expecting her to be upset but not this upset. “No, I…I don’t know, Casey, I just…”

“I moved on, Alex. And it was the best decision that I could’ve made, because if I hadn’t listened to anyone, if I had…” she took a deep, shaky breath. “…if I had let myself get lost…I don’t know what would’ve happened.”

Alex let the tears roll down her face as she stared at Casey. “I’m so sorry.”

Casey nodded. “It’s a bit too late for that.”

Alex tilted her head as she sighed. “Casey.”

“I’m already in love with someone.” Casey smiled sadly. “And you know…before I dated you…I always thought that I would never want to fall again. For anyone. And you showed up and changed that. And then you…you were gone.” She shrugged as she nibbled on her lip. “I closed myself to that possibility, and then I met y/n.”

Alex nodded. “You’re dating y/n.”

Casey nodded. “I am. And I’m happy.” She smiled sadly. “I cannot hurt her. I don’t want to hurt her.”

“I should’ve called, no matter what they said.” Alex said softly as she looked down at her hands. “Maybe I wouldn’t have lost you.”

“We’ll never know.” Casey tried to put on a serious face as she crossed her arms.

Alex nodded as she sighed, wiping away her tears as she stared at Casey. “Okay.” She cleared her throat. “I am sorry, Casey. That I didn’t tell you that I was alive. It was not my decision, and I was…furious…about that decision. I understand you’re upset, and I am happy you moved. I’m sorry for the pain I caused.” She licked her lips. “After the case, I won’t bother you again.”

Casey nodded. “I’ll win this case. For Antonio…and for you.” She sniffled. “Just because I’m mad doesn’t mean that I don’t wanna get justice for you.”

“Casey.”

Olivia opened the door and stared at both women, y/n behind her. “Is…everything okay here?”

Casey turned to look at Olivia as she wiped her tears. “Yes. Alex is ready to go.”

Alex looked down at her hands and nodded. “Yeah.” She grabbed her bag and walked to Olivia. She then turned to look at y/n and smiled sadly. “Thank you.” She said softly before she walked out of Casey’s office.

Olivia looked at y/n confused but followed Alex, leaving y/n and Casey alone. Y/n turned to look at Casey. “Baby, you’re okay?”

Casey took a deep breath and then exhaled. “We…sort of talked.”

“Oh.” Y/n nodded. “Right.”

Casey tilted her head as she walked to y/n, taking her hand and the other went to y/n’s cheek, stroking it softly. “You know I love you, right?”

Y/n smiled. “And you loved her, Case. I don’t blame you.”

Casey sighed as she nodded. “She’s my past now.”

Y/n nodded as she stared into Casey’s eyes, smiling softly. “Ready to go?”

Casey smiled. “You’re still staying tonight?”

“Are you kidding? I was promised pizza, of course I’m staying.” Y/n grinned.

Casey rolled her eyes playfully as she turned to grab her briefcase and blazer, and then walked to y/n, grabbing her hand, and kissing the back of it. “Let’s go.”

********************

“On count two, the attempted murder in the first degree of Alexandra Cabot, what is your verdict?”

“Guilty.”

Casey closed her eyes and sighed in relief, looking down at her hands. She looked up at the judge and then stood up once they said they could leave. She stood up and put all of her stuff inside her briefcase before turning to look at everyone. Her eyes first landed on y/n who was already smiling at her, mouthing a ‘congrats’, which made Casey smile. And then her eyes went to Alex, who was saying something to Olivia before she looked at Casey, offering a smile. Casey sighed softly as she turned around to grab her briefcase and walk out of the courtroom. Casey walked to y/n and kissed her cheek softly.

“Congrats, Ms. Novak. I knew you’d win this case.” Y/n grinned softly.

“Thanks, detective. Wouldn’t have done it without your help.” Casey grinned and then looked back for a moment. “Would you uh…give me a moment?” She looked back at y/n as she smiled.

Y/n looked to where Casey had looked, and then smiled, looking back at Casey and nodding. “Sure. I’ll be by the elevator.”

Casey nodded. “Okay.” She smiled when y/n kissed her cheek and then walked away. She took a deep breath and walked to where Alex was standing with Hammond. “Give us a moment?” She looked at him.

“Go ahead.” Hammond said before he walked away.

Alex looked at Casey and smiled softly. “Thank you, Casey.”

“You’ll always have a special place in my heart, Alex.” Casey nibbled on her lip as she looked down at her hands. “Yes, I am hurt. But I also understand why you did this.” She looked back up at Alex as she sighed. “But…I moved on.”

Alex nodded. “I know.”

Casey nodded and offered a small smile. “You’re going back, aren’t you?”

Alex sighed and offered a small smile. “Yeah. They’re also giving Antonio a new identity.”

“That’s good.” Casey smiled.

“Thank you for giving us justice.” Alex smiled. “I knew you could do it.”

Casey smiled softly. “I always wanted to do this. And I’m happy I had the chance.”

“Take care, Case. It was…” Alex huffed a chuckle, holding back tears. “…it was so nice to see you again.”

Casey smiled sadly as she nodded. “It was nice seeing you too, Alexandra Cabot.” She offered a small smile before she turned around to leave.

Y/n sighed softly as she looked at the floor. She heard a pair of heels approaching her and she turned to find Casey walking to her. She smiled softly. “Done?”

Casey smiled and nodded, placing her hand on her cheek, and leaning in to kiss her lips softly. “Yeah. Mexican today?”

Y/n chuckled softly. “Sounds good to me.” She grabbed her hand and they walked to the elevator.

#casey novak #alex cabot #alexandra cabot #casey novak x alex cabot #calex #calex fic #casey novak fic #alex cabot fic #svu fic #law and order svu #svu

52 notes · View notes