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sickficsforthesoul · 3 years

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Twin Idiots - Osamu

For @punkozume

Prompt: sick Osamu, caretaker Suna ft. caretakers Kita and Aran (Michinari is here too, but he doesn't do that much tbh)

Osamu with the flu and a very high fever, he tries to hide that he's sick from Suna and almost passes out on the school, has a lot of nightmares and is kind of delirious

Word count: 2433 words

If you couldn't tell, there will be a separate Atsumu version of this fic coming soon. I didn't include any nightmares, but if this fic does well enough, I'll write a (hopefully) short ficlet to follow this fic up and focus on the nightmares and delirium, so let me know what you think!

(Suna doesn't have an accent because I remember reading somewhere that he's from Tokyo originally, but idk if that's right, so if it's not, please forgive me and pretend it's my own headcanon, not me forgetting where Suna's from.)

‘It’s really chilly today,’ Osamu notices, shivering under his coat. While winter was never warm, Osamu can’t remember the last time he’s felt so cold. Even his long walk to the Inarizaki gym does nothing to warm him up. Osamu snuggles into his jacket as he trudges on. It’s not snowing yet, but the sky is cloudy and ominously gray, so Osamu doesn’t expect the ground to stay snow-free for long.

Osamu doesn’t have to put up with his idiot brother today, at least. Tsumu had left for his fancy volleyball camp in Tokyo for the entire week the day before, so Osamu is on his own in Hyogo. Osamu and Tsumu attended together last year, but when Osamu’s invitation failed to arrive along with Tsumu’s this year, he can’t say he was too surprised. Osamu has never been as into volleyball as Tsumu.

Osamu has his own interests, like cooking and chemistry, that he’s far more passionate about. Volleyball is fun, but Osamu knows he won’t be doing it for the rest of his life like Tsumu probably will. Tsumu will always put more into volleyball than Osamu, and that resulted in him being invited to the All-Japan Youth Intensive Training Camp while his brother was not.

Osamu’s not upset by any means. He’s enjoying the separation from his twin. For one week, Osamu can have his own room, cook whatever he feels like, and watch as many cooking shows as he pleases. It’s a weeklong vacation from his ridiculously loud brother, and Osamu intends to enjoy every second of it.

When Osamu finally reaches the gym, he relishes in the warmth of the cozy gym. It’s a welcome change from the frigid air outside, and now Osamu is finally warm enough to shed his coat after shutting the gym door. Most of his teammates are already in the gym, either changing or warming up. Inarizaki may be on winter break, but Kita was adamant that his team continue to practice, even with Tsumu away at camp.

Osamu is already in his practice gear, opting for donning a sweatsuit over top of his shorts and tee-shirt due to the freezing weather. Osamu dumps his coat, bag, and other belongings along the wall before stashing his water bottle on the bench. Suna hasn’t shown up yet, so Osamu begins his warmup stretches alone. By the time Osamu has stretched his legs and hips, Suna and the rest of the team have finally assembled in the gym.

Once everyone is ready, Kita gives out instructions for what everyone will practice today. Most players are assigned exercises or drills for their current position, but Osamu isn’t so lucky. With Tsumu gone, Kita decides to use his absence as an excuse to work on Osamu’s setting. Osamu isn’t thrilled about the idea, but at least Kita, Michinari, and Suna will be working with him today, so practice shouldn’t be too miserable.

They begin simply, with Osamu setting to just Suna. Suna spikes Osamu’s set, Michinari digs up the spike, and Kita sends the ball over the net for Osamu to practice setting mid-rally. They continue the drill for a while, so Osamu can get in a grove before he tries more difficult sets later on. Osamu doesn’t love setting as much as Tsumu does, but he will admit that he’s enjoying the easy rhythm of the drill a lot. It’s a nice change of pace from his usual blocking and spiking, and Osamu enjoys setting to his best friend much more than he thought he would.

But Osamu’s enjoyment doesn’t last. When Kita finally sends them off for a water break, Osamu is feeling off. His muscles ache constantly, and he’s oddly cold despite the snug warmth of the gym. Osamu takes a sip of water from his bottle and sits on the ground in front of the bench. He leans his head against the bench and glances up at the gym ceiling. This proves to be a mistake as the bright ceiling lights cause a headache to flare in his temples. Osamu lowers his head and focuses on finishing his water, hoping futilely that he was just a little dehydrated.

Kita calls Osamu, Michinari, and Suna back to the court for more practice. This time, Aran joins them too. Kita explains the new drill they’ll be working on now. ‘It’s basically the same as the other drill,’ Osamu thinks quietly. The only difference between the drills was that now Osamu can choose between setting to Suna or Aran.

They get to work, and Osamu quickly adjusts to having a new spiker. His sets to Aran aren’t as clean or precise as Suna’s, but Osamu knows his sets are improving with every toss. Osamu’s headache also increases with every toss, but he doesn’t want to think about that. Kita will give him hell for practicing with a headache, and Osamu doesn’t want to get chewed out like Tsumu did when Kita caught him practicing with a cold. So Osamu stays quiet while they practice. Even as his headache gives way to nausea, and his body trembles with small shivers whenever he stands still for too long.

By the time Kita calls for another water break, Osamu is miserable. His arms ache fiercely from setting, and his legs are so shaky that he barely makes it back off the court. Suna fixes Osamu with a blank stare as soon as Osamu manages to stumble to the bench. Kita and Aran also stare at Osamu, but they remain silent. Osamu shifts awkwardly, eventually opting to lean forward and stare at the ground because that position lessened his headache the most. Osamu’s teammates still say nothing. The minute of silence between the four of them is almost as painful as Osamu’s raging headache, and that’s saying something because Osamu is pretty sure his brain is trying to escape from his skull with how hard his head is pounding.

Finally, Suna opens his mouth. “You’re an idiot, Samu.”

“No ‘m not,” Osamu mutters weakly.

“You are,” Suna insists. “You’re one big, sick idiot, Samu.”

“But ‘m not sick,” Osamu whines quietly. He knows he is, but he can’t bring himself to admit to being sick because then Kita will lecture him for practicing when he’s sick. Osamu can handle a lot of things, from a moping Tsumu to an Instagram-crazy Suna, but Osamu cannot handle a Kita lecture. Kita isn’t the type to yell or swear, but he always sounds so disappointed, and Osamu can’t stand disappointing someone he admires so much over such a stupid mistake.

“I hope you’re lying, Samu, because if you’re not, you’re a lot stupider than I thought you were,” Suna frowns slightly. “Maybe even stupider than your dumb twin.”

“Take tha’ back, ya jerk,” Osamu slurs, lifting his head to look at Suna’s near-expressionless face.

“Then stop acting like an idiot,” Suna counters, his voice still a steady monotone. “You need to go home. Like, now.”

Osamu sighs tiredly, lowering his head to face the ground again. His body agrees with Suna completely, but somehow, Osamu still doesn’t want to leave. Maybe it’s his hypercompetitive instincts from practicing with Tsumu so much, but Osamu doesn’t want to leave until practice is finally over. It’s completely ridiculous, Osamu knows, because he doesn’t even love volleyball that much. But Osamu hates leaving things half-finished, even if his body burns with fever, and his head throbs with every breath.

Osamu remains silent, so Suna takes matters into his own hands. Suna slides off the bench and stands in front of Osamu. Suna bends down and takes Osamu’s shaking hands in his own warm, steady ones. Then he gently pulls Osamu to his feet.

Osamu’s body strongly protests the sudden position change. Osamu’s headache intensifies to a new level of excruciating pain, and intense dizziness makes Osamu’s head spin. Osamu desperately tries to keep his balance, but his weakened body doesn’t stand a chance against the sudden but fierce wave of lightheadedness. Osamu’s body pitches dangerously as shadows creep into the edges of his vision. He feebly reaches for Suna, trying to steady himself before faints onto the gym floor.

Osamu tilts forward, his chin coming to rest on Suna’s shoulder before Osamu’s knees give out completely. Suna squawks in surprise as he suddenly finds himself bearing all of Osamu’s weight. Suna carefully guides them both to the floor as Kita and Aran dart off the bench to offer aid.

Osamu is still conscious (somehow), so he is distantly aware of everything his friends do to help him. Kita and Aran grab Osamu’s shoulders and pull him off Suna. They settle Osamu on his back lying prone on the gym floor. Suna takes Osamu’s ankles and holds them up at chest level to get some blood flowing back towards Osamu’s head. Michinari zooms off, returning seconds later with his and Aran’s duffle bags. Michinari stacks them to an acceptable height, and Suna rests Osamu’s feet on the bags.

Kita pillows Osamu’s head in his lap. “Osamu,” Kita calls softly, “are ya still with us?”

“Hm…? Yeah…” Osamu mumbles as his hazy eyes lock on Suna, who’s still kneeling by Osamu’s feet. “’m with ya…”

“Tha’s good,” Kita smiles gently. He rests a soft hand lightly on Osamu’s forehead. “Ya have a wicked fever there, Osamu. Do ya want some water?”

“Ya,” Osamu nods weakly. “‘m thirsty.”

“Here, Samu.” Aran offers the sick boy a water bottle, but Osamu’s hands are shaking too hard to hold it without splashing water everywhere, so Kita helps Osamu sit up more while Aran holds the bottle.

Osamu drinks greedily, only stopping to gasp for breath every few gulps. Aran sets the bottle on the floor once Osamu empties it completely. Osamu’s appearance has improved considerably by now. His face is regaining color, his eyes aren’t foggy, and his body has stopped trembling like a leaf in the autumn wind. Kita and Aran help him sit all the way up, and when he still looks okay, they beckon Michinari and Suna over to help them get Osamu standing.

Once Osamu is on his feet, Aran and Suna support the sick blocker by his shoulders. Kita goes to explain the situation to their coaches while Michinari does the same for the rest of the team, who had slowly stopped practicing once they noticed what was going on with Osamu.

Suna and Aran slowly walk Osamu to the door. They stop briefly to haphazardly dress Osamu in his coat as well as Suna’s hat and Aran’s scarf. Ginjima, who has slipped away from the team gather with Michinari, holds the door open for them. Ginjima has the trio’s bags. He passes off Osamu’s bag to Suna along with Suna’s own bag while giving Aran his bag too.

“Ginjima,” Aran says as he and Suna maneuver Osamu out the door, “please let Kita know we’re leavin’.”

“Sure,” Ginjima agrees, eyeing Osamu worriedly. “Are ya takin’ him home?”

“Yeah,” Suna replies. “He’s going straight to bed when we get there since he won’t rest unless we make him.”

“Okay. Good luck, then.” Ginjima wishes them well with a wave before he closes the gym door.

Suna and Aran make the agonizingly slow trip to the Miya household. It takes them over an hour to get Osamu home. By the time they reach the front door, snow flurries are falling onto their hair and eyelashes. It takes another fifteen minutes to get Osamu upstairs, changed, and settled into bed.

Osamu’s parents aren’t home, so it’s up to Aran and Suna to find Osamu medicine, water, and food. Suna tackles the food because Aran admits that he’s never done more than boil water, and Osamu will kill them for destroying his kitchen, even if he’s burning with an extremely high fever (the thermometer Aran finds in the bathroom reads 39.5°C after resting under Osamu’s tongue for a minute). Suna reheats leftover rice he finds in the Miya’s refrigerator and dumps it in a bowl. It’s hardly gourmet cuisine, but Osamu will be too loopy to care anyway. Suna also fills a glass with water before carrying both things up to the twins’ shared bedroom.

Aran is sitting on a chair across from Osamu, who is snuggled up on the bottom bunk. Aran takes the water from Suna and forces Osamu to swallow both the fever reducers he’s found and the entire glass of water. Once Osamu’s finished, Suna presents him with the bowl of reheated rice. Osamu only finished half of it, but Suna didn’t expect much more, even with Osamu’s reputation for his voracious appetite.

“I have ta go home now,” Aran admits as he gathers the bowl and glass. “Are ya goin’ to stay with him?”

“Yeah, at least until his parents get home,” Suna nods. “We can’t leave him alone when he’s like this.”

“Ya,” Aran agrees. “I’ll clean this up before I go. I left the medicine on tha bathroom sink, and the thermometer’s right there.” He nods to the thermometer lying next to Osamu’s pillow. “Thanks fer stayin’ with him, Suna.”

“S’not a problem,” Suna hums lightly. “You should get going before your mom comes looking for you.”

Aran laughs, “Good point. I’ll see ya later, Suna.”

Aran leaves, taking the bowl and cup with him, so now it’s just him and Osamu in the bedroom. Suna reaches out to ruffle Osamu’s gray hair. “You’re still an idiot, Samu.”

“I know,” Osamu cracks his eyes open slightly and smiles, “but yer not.”

“Obviously,” Suna smirks, “but you’re not as stupid as Tsumu. Not yet, at least.”

“Gee, thanks, Suna,” Osamu laughs faintly. “Thanks fer stayin’.”

“You didn’t seriously think I’d leave with you like this, did you?” Suna raises a slim eyebrow.

“Nah,” Osamu smiles, “yer too good of a friend fer that.”

“You’re getting soft on me, Samu,” Suna smiles back.

“I’m sick, ya jerk,” Osamu huffs. “I’m allowed ta be soft.”

“You are sick,” Suna concedes, “but you’re still an idiot, and sick idiots need sleep.”

“Who’s gettin’ soft again?” Osamu quips, but his eyes still slip shut without protest.

“Goodnight, Samu.” Suna pats Osamu’s head gently as he settles himself onto Aran’s now vacant chair.

“G’night, Suna,” Osamu yawns, finally drifting off into a feverish but natural sleep.

Suna adjusts Osamu’s blankets and pulls out his phone. Knowing Osamu, the night won’t be as peaceful as Suna is hoping for, so he plays stupid mobile games on his phone and waits for what he knows will come in a few hours.

#osamu miya #suna rintaro #kita shinsuke #aran ojiro #akagi michinari #haikyuu!!#haikyu!! whump #haikyuu whump #sickfic #sickiesoul writes #fever #fainting #sort of #request #haikyu whump #whump #anime whump

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gilf-grievous · 4 years

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Okay so @thecyndimistuff got me thinking about Tag and Bink again and what their being canon means exactly. Like- their comic is clearly a comedic and satirical take on Star Wars that retcons a lot of stuff.

And to my best understanding of how lucasfilm/Disney decides on canonicity just because the stories are now canon doesn’t mean everything in them is(or needs to be). We kinda see this with how TCW season 7 and the Ahsoka book are both equally considered canon despite contradicting about the siege of Mandalore, the parts of the Ahsoka book that are “wrong” are just sorta ignored for TCWs take. Tbh I just really wanna talk about/info dump on some of the strange and likely non canon details of Tag and Binks adventures so here we go.

There are some elements of Tag and Binks story that in canon probably are superseded by other canon (and for the better tbh?) like Manny Both-Hanz.

While there’s no “official” stance on this, I’m certain that in canon Manny has likely had his story changed or doesn’t exist. Maybe he’s simply a rebellion operative with a bad sense of humor or awful naming capabilities?

The reason I even found out about this comic was because Jango Fett, my favorite Star Wars character, is in it and his Dad Vibes™️ are so strong. I think the canonicity of Jango responding to Order 66 is debatable- the Kaminoans probably would have no issue messing with Jango like that but I don’t think he’d react well to finding out a slave chip was in him. There’d probably have to be a lot of explanation for why Jango wouldn’t take torch the cloning facility and take Boba to a doctor after this. Like sure you can just handwave and say he never followed up on it but I don’t see a universe where a man who fought his way out of slavery let’s something overtaking his will just be forgotten. Now there is a reason given within the story:

But I don’t buy that he just forgets and moves on either- he’s a bounty hunter. He’s not going to just let the fact that he forgot time and “woke up” somewhere else just go. Again, I’m aware this all could be forgiven with a bit of hand waving and saying he doesn’t care but I like to overthink things okay? You will never convince me Jango Fett, famous bounty hunter and ex-slave, can lose memories and then when he investigates find out that he lost control of himself and tried to kill two kids that seconds before he said he liked and then didn’t follow up on it. Therefore I propose- Jango investigates and finds out about the chips (and that he and Boba have them) and panics. That’s why a man who have killed multiple jedi- six with his bare hands!- is so bad at keeping secrets and dealing with Kenobi on Kamino.

As evidence for the fact that not everything within their story is canon I give you Tag and Bink on Endor as force ghosts! The creator of the comic has said now that the sequel trilogy exists their death is simply non canon. It’s part of the story that can simply be ignored- like most of the more silly or comedic elements clearly tossed in as a goof (see above where Buzz Lightyear is at Dex’s).

Star Wars has canonified and decanonified so many details and regulated so much good content to legends while keeping contradictory stuff canon but at the end of the day it’s all in persuit of whoever’s-in-charge’s idea of what a good story is. In conclusion, it doesn’t matter how silly that comic or how much is probably retconed Tag and Bink are canon and I’m very happy becuase of it. They deserve more love and to be treated as real characters within the Star Wars universe becuase the are!

#star wars #tag and bink #Tag Greenley #Bink Otauna #jango fett #I am begging anyone talk to me about funky Star Wars stuff #Just realized I forgot to talk about how The Mandalorian contradicts the idea that Boba’s not in the armor when the whole sarlacc happens #oh well another day then

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darkelite020 · 3 years

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Bad Batch thoughts & predictions Ep 7

Continuing these written reactions/predictions somewhere cause itd be fun I think to see what actually ends up happening and remembering what I thought at the time so im dumping it here, youre welcome. (Feel free to discuss if you want) if you want to keep up with it im gonna be tagging these as #jay rambles about bb

- Ruby? Did I forget? Who/what is Ruby? -- Oh ok. Interesting bounty I suppose. - Wrecker and Omega have a completing mission tradition? That is SO cute. - Hooded person is here >> -- I’m still holding out on my rex or ahsoka predicition because I think it would make sense for the sisters to call them since theyre friends with ahsoka and obviously she knows about clones and Rex is/was with her last we saw him... but the hooded persons eyes definitely aren’t ahsokas so I think it’s rex and if it is Im gonna be so happy - “Thats not her ugly side?” FFF Tech you bastard I love you - I SEE THE WHITE AND BLUE ARMORED ARM IM GONNA SCREAM - I’M SCREAMING -- REX I MISSED YOU SO MUCH I’M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU AGAIN AHHHHH --- I KIND OF POKED FUN AT MYSELF THIS WEEK REBLOGGING A MEME OF A GRANDMA SAYING ‘REX WILL BE IN THE NEXT EPISODE’ AND SOME YOUNGER PERSON EXCORTING THEM AND SAYING SOMETHING LIKE ‘OK GRANDMA LETS GET YOU INSIDE’ OR SOME SHIT BUT **VIOLENTLY POINTING AT THE SCREEN** MY LOVE IS HERE - Cid shut the fuck up he is a KING how dare you - Oh no. Oh god. “thats a long story.” Is he going to talk to him about his pov with 66 and about the ship and Jesse AND FIVES OH FUCK -- So it skipped to Rex talking about the end of the war but we didn’t hear really the story itself, and I really hope thats not all we get when it comes to him talking about the people he and at least echo knew. Like if he talked about Fives learning about the chips and not being listened to and that resulted in 66 because of the chips where activated and made them betray the jedi but we get no reaction from Echo I’m going to be pretty disappointed honestly. Like I get the bad batch not really knowing the squad so they have excuses but Echo did, and I really hope they don’t do the thing “Oh well Echo was caught by droids so now he doesn’t care about them anymore” because... that sucks. Like honestly Echo wasn’t even super crazy about seeing Rex either tbh (I get that Echo feels like he doesn’t fit in with regs and thats all fine and dandy) but it kinda feels like he doesn’t give a shit about what he’s gone through with other people. ---Rambling and getting off topic now because I have some shit between Echo and Fives: but if thats the case like we all know it fucked up Fives when he thought Echo was dead so if Echo isn’t the same way about Fives I guess thats just like... depressing and it sucks because everyone sees them as “that duo”. Again we really don’t know what Rex said exactly so its possible it didnt get brought up but if it did... - Wrecker picking up Rex is so cute but you can see the fucking worry in Rex’s eyes for being picked up by him cause Wrecker would throw him and agjsdb I love it. - Omega straight up being like “youre old” while looking at Rex’s face PFFT no filter kid. - REX KNOWS ABOUT WRECKER -- Good I’m very happy Rex is calling them out on this inhibitor chip shit. ‘Oh crosshair was just an exception’ should definitely not be an excuse. - Oh alright so the glimpse in the trailer was a junkyard and not the same thing. Same kind of ship but not where the graveyard is. Honestly thats kind of a relief. - OH SHIT I WAS TALKING ABOUT FIVES NOW THEY ARE BRINGING HIM UP IM GONNA CRY ABOUT FIVES ALL OVER AGAIN -- wait.... now I don’t know if they know or not about him. - The scenery in this show is really pretty im just gonna go ahead and give some appreciation. - Oh no Wrecker! Pull up the rope!!!!!! He can climb but you can also pull him!!!! -- Thank god. - Omega talking about if something goes wrong? It’s not like theyre all gonna die at the same exact time.... like theyre only gonna do the surgery one at a time so... Omega what are you imagining sis? Like if one person turns? It’s still kind of unlikely that they could defeat the other very talented people in the room. - OH SHIT TECH YELL FOR HELP - HEY THIS HURTS MY FEELINGS DAVE HEY HEY -- LIKE YEAH THEY CANT POSSIBLY KILL THEM ALL CAUSE THE SHOW NEEDS TO GO ON BUT HEY --- Lowkey predicting they could all turn by the end of the show season cause like if they dont beat wrecker and cant use the medical bay then they are fucked. Also especially think this is gonna happen because one of the directors literally said the second half of season 1 is gonna get emotional and holy shit can you imagine. ---- WHAT IF THEY DO AND ITS JUST OMEGA AND REX TEAMING UP TO SAVE THEM HOLY SHIT AND ITD GIVE EVEN MORE OF A MEANING TO THE WORDS “THE BAD BATCH” - Holy shit this fight Wrecker grabbed ECHO BY HIS FUCKING FACE - Ok I was seriously wondering about Omega’s concerns but now HOLY SHIT CAUSE THATS ALL I CAN SAY LIKE THEYRE NOT DEAD BUT OH MY GOD I DIDN’T THINK ITD GO DOWN LIKE THIS - THANK YOU REX OUR HERO - I know we’re all having a moment after Wrecker but can you guys like team up to move him off the table and get your own done like even if its a bit risky cause we don’t need a repeat of what just happened like yeah theres not enough time in the episode for it but still - The *immediate* little head pat “Hey kid” ;-;

- Ok I’m glad theyre getting them out - THE GENTLE REASSURING TOUCHES IN THIS EPISODE *deep breath* ARE GIVING ME SERATONIN - Wreckers apology ;-; THIS IS SO FUCKING SAD AND CUTE - Rex is leaving already? :( Be safe you funky little space soldier. - Not really surprised the empire is gonna know they were there cause it was only a matter of time but if theyre smart theyd get off planet and back to Cid before the empire gets there to see whats up. -- Im sure they’ll realize they removed their chips though, I wonder if crosshair will show up (he probably will) but if he does rather its gonna be a fight there between the empire and bb maybe the bb can win and save crosshair or they have to retreat and something else goes on idk. - Would love if Crosshair was saved because he really got the short end of the stick and is being called “the bad batch” but like he’s not even really there with them for the show so far... also you can tell subtly that he doesn’t like being alone which is fucking sad :tm: because all his friends are gone and it hurts even more now because wrecker was talking about how he didn’t want to do things and he was trying not to hurt them and stuff in his apology and you know damn well Crosshair is the same way about his friends he’s probably just a lot less expressive about it. -- Honestly even bad batch aside can you imagine how terrible all of the clones feel like all the regs over all knowing theyre the downfall of the jedi and thinking that they were trying to resist it too. Like they know whats happening and deep inside theyre themselves but they cant do shit about it. That fucking hurts me. This is a longer post but this episode was a roller coaster for my emotions.

#the bad batch #bad batch spoilers episode 7 #tcw spoilers #jay rambles about bb #the clone wars #the clone wars spoilers #tcw #star wars #bad batch spoilers

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prydon · 4 years

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oh i adore ur writing, do u take prompts by any chance? if u do, would u ever consider writing a fic inspired by the recent drunk juno and smitten peter art? thank u, have a nice day 💞

thank you for liking my writing!!! :D tbh i haven’t considered myself enough of a fic writer to take prompts in years, but i loved that art and i love writing jupeter so much that i just had to give this a go.

so here you go! inspired by this WONDERFUL art by @honeyjarr. you can read it on ao3 here or down below!

set post-man in glass but pre jupeter being in an established relationship. CWs for alcohol consumption, brief reference to sarah steel being sarah steel, minor injuries, and non-explicit talking/joking about sex.

----

Nureyev had never seen Juno Steel drunk before.

For all his insistence that he was ‘getting drunker by the second’ back in his apartment on that fated night when Nureyev had gifted him a name and kiss, Nureyev knew he had been far from truly drunk, then. Juno was a broad man, and one with a long history of drinking. Unlike Nureyev, he held his liquor well.

Now, on board the Carte Blanche, he had been trying to cut down on his alcohol consumption. It was part of his recovery, part of leaving behind the mess of poor coping mechanisms and bad decisions that used to make up Detective Juno Steel.

So when Buddy had pulled out the bottle, it was only with assurance from Jet and Juno that they were both okay with it- and when Juno had asked her to pour him a glass, he did so with the promise that he wasn’t using the alcohol to deal with any bad feelings that ought to be handled another way.

“Rita and I used to get drunk sometimes and watch the lowest-rated streams we could find,” he said. “It was…fun.”

Rita nodded enthusiastically. “Mistah Steel would always start yelling and throwing popcorn at the screen!”

“Very well, then,” Buddy said. “I trust your judgement, Juno.”

Nureyev kept one eye on Juno as he sipped his own drink, curious. What kind of a drunk was Juno? Sobbing? Angry? …Handsy?

He folded his hope for the latter away.

Nureyev seldom ever drank, and never on the job. It was too risky. Drinking meant losing your inhibitions, losing control over your emotions, and if there was anything that Nureyev desperately didn’t want to lose, it was that. His persona was perfectly crafted. He couldn’t risk letting a bottle of wine or liquor crumble it.

He was already tipsy after his first glass, which was embarrassing. He intended to stop there- to perhaps ask for a refill, but only pretend to sip it before surreptitiously dumping it. As soon as the second one was poured, however, he found himself actually drinking it.

Something about these people made him feel safe enough to allow some loss of inhibition. That realization terrified him, but he kept drinking nonetheless.

Juno had almost finished his third glass, and only now seemed to be feeling the effects of it. He was talking more loudly than he had been before, and his eyes were slightly unfocused. He shot Nureyev a glance and the thief took another sip, mostly just to hide the blush that was creeping up his face courtesy of both the alcohol and the sight of Juno, who was looking handsomely disheveled with his hair mussed and his sweater slipped down around his shoulders.

After Jet excused himself to bed early, they somehow ended up in a game of Never Have I Ever, which Nureyev had never heard of but Juno insisted was a staple among schoolkids in Oldtown.

“All right!” Rita said. “Never have I ever…done it in a public place.”

Nureyev raised an eyebrow. “If by ‘it’, you mean sexual intercourse…” He took a drink, and then nearly spat it back out when he saw Juno drink, too.

“What?” Juno said innocently. “You drank.”

“You’re both gross,” Vespa growled at them.

“Really? In all your life, you’ve never once given in to the heat of the moment?” Nureyev asked, trying to distract himself from his own brain, which was currently insistent on conjuring up artist’s interpretations of Juno on a park bench, or in a theater, or-

“It’s private! You do it inside!”

“Sometimes you just don’t have many options!” Juno protested.

“Ugh, whatever. Here, I’ll go next…”

Nureyev was very, very bad at the game, as it turned out. What could he say: he was an adventurous man, and one who’d lived a rich life. He wasn’t going to apologize for that. It didn’t hurt that Juno was drinking almost as often as he was, either. He carefully filed away all of the lady’s responses to the various statements, mentally marking some as being in desperate need of further follow up.

Juno Steel had never swum in the ocean.

Juno Steel had set a cop car on fire.

Juno Steel had participated in a foursome.

It was all very important information. Nureyev only hoped he’d actually remember it tomorrow. That was seeming less and less likely, the tipsier he got. He tried to take small sips throughout the game, but by the time it had ended, he knew he was gone. He’d regret letting that happen once he was sober, of course, but right now he couldn’t bring himself to care.

“I think that’s enough for this evening,” Buddy said after a while, seeming to sense that both Nureyev and Juno were looking rather worse for the wear.

“One more!” Rita insisted. “Never have I ever…almost fallen out a window ‘cause I was chasing after a love letter.”

“Rita!” Juno exclaimed. “I told you that in confidence! Plus, that doesn’t count. It’s targeting! That’s…against the rules!”

“There ain’t no rules, Mistah Steel!”

“Ugh, fine,” Juno said, and drank.

Nureyev couldn’t help being curious, and even- ridiculously- jealous. Who had written Juno a love letter? Who had Juno cared so much about that even he, acrophobic as he was, had been willing to nearly jump out a window to save a note from them?

By all means, it could have happened decades ago. There was no reason to be envious. Nureyev had realized that he was prone to envy when it came to Juno Steel, however, and the alcohol was likely just heightening the emotion.

“Mistah Ransom’s got a funny look on his face,” Rita commented.

“Yeah, ‘cause he knows it was his letter,” Juno grumbled.

“Really!? Mistah Steel, you never told me that!”

“…Didn’t come up.”

Nureyev froze, feeling something warm spread through him. Ah. “You…kept my note? I didn’t realize.”

“Don’t have it anymore. It got lost somewhere along the way. It’s been…a hectic past few months,” Juno said, sounding genuinely upset by the loss. Then he frowned. “What, Ransom, did you really not realize Rita was talking about your note?”

“I…”

A wide smile spread over Juno’s face. “Oh, my god. Your expression a moment ago…were you jealous of yourself!?”

Nureyev felt himself turn beet red. “N- no.”

“You were!”

Juno burst out laughing. Unlike his usual laughs, which on the rare occasions that they surfaced were quiet and restrained, almost as though he didn’t believe he was deserving of laughter, this one was loud and unburdened. It was a full body laugh, and it lit Juno up so beautifully that Nureyev could almost forget that it was at was at his expense.

Nureyev could guess, then, what kind of drunk Juno was. He was the kind whose current predominate emotion, whatever it was, was exacerbated by the alcohol. When he was sad, he’d end up crying into his drinks. When he was angry, there would be yelling and picking fights.

Right now, Juno was happy.

Even just the flickering, uncertain smiles he had shot Nureyev during their mission to retrieve the map had been enough to nearly bowl the thief over, and now here he was. Smiling a smile big enough to cut the moon in half.

“You know, one time Benzaiten won an award for having the Galaxy’s Best Smile. Can you believe that?!”

Nureyev had never known Juno’s brother, of course, and all he knew of him now came from those little glimpses that Juno gave him when he felt safe enough to voice them. He knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Benzaiten had deserved the accolade, though, if he had indeed had the same smile as Juno.

Juno definitely had the best smile in the entire galaxy. In all the galaxies, surely. And it made Nureyev feel emotions of an enormity that he had never before experienced. He wanted to live in that smile. He wanted to make a home in it. He wanted to lean forward, grab Juno by the face, and kiss him in front of everyone. He wanted to feel that smile against his lips.

It took every ounce of self restraint he had not to do so, and he gripped his glass, begging the last sober vestiges of himself to keep him from acting on any ridiculous notions.

He didn’t kiss Juno, thankfully.

He did do something else, though.

Crack.

“Oh. Dear,” he said. “These things aren’t very sturdy, are they?”

Before he could even realize what was happening, his glass had shattered to pieces in his hand, and his nice clothes that had surely cost the person he’d stolen them from several thousand creds were drenched in alcohol and littered with shards of glass.

“Nur- Ransom!” Juno exclaimed, immediately concerned, and in the moment all that Nureyev could think was how sad he was that the smile had vanished from the lady’s face. “What the hell happened?!”

“I believe I broke the glass.”

“Christ! Do you have the grip strength of a goddamn metal vice?” Juno’s voice sounded shocked and more than a little bit impressed. Nureyev couldn’t help feeling rather pleased about the latter. Then, suddenly, the ex-detective was back to looking concerned. “Ransom, you’re bleeding.”

He looked down at his hand. “Ah.”

“We- we need to get this cleaned up. Get you cleaned up,” Juno said. He swayed slightly as he made his way to Nureyev’s side to worriedly inspect his hand. If his drunkenness had been boosting his happiness before, it was now boosting his anxiety and fear.

“I’m all right,” Nureyev insisted. “Just a cut. Barely even hurts.” He didn’t want Juno to worry. He just wanted to see that smile again.

Vespa let out a long groan. “Ugggggggh. You two are the worst. I’ll go grab the nearest first aid kit. Ransom, Steel can get you your bandaid. I’m going to bed. You got this, Steel?”

Juno nodded. “I’ve patched myself up enough times to know how.”

“Great.”

She was back in a moment with the kit, handing it off to Juno before dragging Buddy off to bed.

“Good night, darlings,” Buddy said as she was pulled away. “Rita, I think you’d best leave them be, too.”

Rita frowned. “But what if they need my- Oooooooh. Okay.” She waved and winked comedically aggressively at Juno. “G’night, Mistah Steel and Mistah Ransom! Mistah Ransom, I hope you feel better soon!”

“Good night, Rita,” Nureyev said, feeling vaguely lightheaded. It wasn’t from the wound- that wasn’t nearly bad enough to warrant such a response. If he had to guess, it was from Juno being so close that he could feel his breath. From the soft, reverent way he was currently cleaning the cuts on Nureyev’s hands.

Juno looked up to watch Rita go. “What was that about?”

“No idea.”

Juno’s next words were softer and slightly slurred. “…Are you mad at me?”

Nureyev stared at him, completely lost. “What? Why would I be mad at you?”

“I was…I was laughing at you. Then you broke the glass. Did you break it because you were mad? Ma did that sometimes. I- I shouldn’t have laughed. Shouldn’t have done that. I’m so sorry-”

“Hush, Juno,” Nureyev said. “I’m not angry in the slightest. Really, it was rather funny. And I’m touched that you went that far just to rescue my note.”

“Then…why?”

“Why did I break the glass? I suppose I underestimated my own strength.”

“Why were you gripping it so hard, though?!”

What could he tell Juno? He studied his hand, not wanting to admit the truth. He couldn’t very well say, I found your smile so beautiful that if I hadn’t held onto something as hard as I could, I would have surely lunged forward and kissed you right there.

He looked up to find Juno staring at him, wide-eyed. “Really?”

“I…did not mean to say that out loud,” Nureyev said. “Apologies, Juno. I seem to be rather drunk.”

“You don’t say.” Juno snorted. A glimmer of a smile reappeared on his face, to Nureyev’s delight. “That’s really why, though? You wanted to kiss me?”

“Well, yes,” Nureyev said, flustered. “You have a very…nice smile.”

“Well, I’m not stopping you.”

Juno suddenly looked embarrassed, almost shy. Hopeful, too.

Nureyev had lost the ability to think coherent thoughts.

“Oh. Okay,” he stammered.

He gently took Juno’s face in his freshly bandaged hand as he’d imagined doing not much earlier, and pulled him into a deep kiss. The lady’s lips were as soft and warm as always. They still tasted like drink, but also something so purely Juno that Nureyev was certain he could have gotten drunk on that taste alone.

He shifted, moving closer. Juno mirrored his actions, shuffling across the carpet to reach him, and then-

“Ow!”

Juno swore and broke away, to Nureyev’s dismay. It took him a moment to figure out what was wrong: there was still broken glass on the carpet.

“Are you all right?” Nureyev asked.

“Mm. Just pricked me. We should really get this cleaned up.” He hesitated. “On second thought, picking up glass while drunk might not be a good idea. Let’s just…mark it off so no one steps on it and then go to bed. We can deal with it in the morning.”

They did just that. Nureyev hated that even though Juno had drunk much more than him, he was the one leaning on Juno for balance as they walked back to his room. He couldn’t stop thinking about that smile. He wondered what it would take to make Juno smile like that while sober, and decided that whatever it was, he was going to figure it out.

When they reached the door to Nureyev’s room, Juno paused.

“Make sure you drink some water before you go to sleep,” he said. “And don’t use your right hand more than you have to, so it can heal.”

“I know, I know.”

There was an awkward but companionable silence for a moment. Nureyev wanted more than anything to invite Juno into his room to stay the night, but he knew he shouldn’t. They weren’t there yet, and besides, that wasn’t a step that he wanted to take while under the influence.

“I can’t believe you really broke a glass because of me,” Juno said finally, smirking.

“Oh, shush. It’s your own fault. If you hadn’t…looked like that, it wouldn’t have happened.”

“Well, I’m so sorry. In the future I’ll refrain from ‘looking like that’.”

“Please don’t,” Nureyev said immediately.

“…Okay. Then I won’t.”

Nureyev moved to open his door, then hesitated, chewing his lip. “Juno…there’s something I need to ask you.”

Juno immediately knit his brow, his shoulders tensing. “What is it?”

“About the time you had sex in a public place-”

The ex-detective groaned loudly and gave him a good-natured shove. “I don’t want to talk about it!”

“Could you at least tell me about the foursome, then?”

“No! God, I am never playing Never Have I Ever with you guys again. Good night, Nureyev.”

Nureyev grinned. “Good night, my dear.”

#asks #the penumbra podcast #jupeter #peter nureyev #juno steel #my writing #i'm working on several other writing projects rn #so if others send prompts i can't guarantee they'll get done #at least not as thoroughly/quickly as i got this one done lol #but you're welcome to send them and i'll at the very least save them for when i do have the time/inspo to write them!

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punkscowardschampions · 3 years

Text

Rio & Liam

Rio: I still can’t believe all that mess just happened

Rio: I swear to God my friends aren’t usually that trash like… what the fuck

Liam: it was unbelievable, are you ok

Rio: Like not at all but there’s nothing you can do

Rio: and you’ve already done loads more than I could ask, so don’t worry

Rio: This has really blindsided me, I’d never have expected this from her

Liam: sometimes you don’t know people how you think you do, or you did but they change on you into somebody else

Rio: So true

Rio: I never knew her, clearly

Rio: and she didn’t know me if she thought I was ever going to take her side over my family, was that the plan?

Rio: I genuinely do not get why she did this, tbh

Liam: she probably wasn’t planning further ahead than getting your other mate to take her side, she did things without thinking when I knew her

Rio: Who in their right mind would take her side

Rio: even without the full story

Liam: I dunno, I could be looking at it wrong and what she wanted was for all this to come out

Rio: Now I’m just worried there’s something seriously wrong with her

Rio: it’s not normal, no shit but

Rio: there has to be something going on to drive her to this, right?

Liam: if it’s a cry for help, getting this many other people involved and doing it tonight is a weird twist

Rio: It’s fucked, on so many levels I can’t even get into

Rio: Poor Edie

Rio: Is she mad at me now?

Liam: you don’t have to worry about Edie, she saw what Lex was like before this, she’s a good judge of who people are underneath whatever they put across

Rio: at least one of us is

Rio: I just don’t want her thinking I was out to ruin her night or make it about me and my friends’ bullshit

Rio: I was trying to do the opposite, draw a bigger crowd, you know

Liam: she understands where you were coming from, and it’s like you said, the two of us are in a bubble, I’m not gonna let anything ruin her night or switch up what it’s about

Rio: I’m really glad

Rio: At least that good still came from tonight

Rio: she doesn’t need to feel involved with all this Lexie business, it’s definitely about me, not Edie and you, I can see that now

Liam: I’d be a dick when you’re still going through it if I said I was buzzing we’re both out of it but I was questioning when it started if it was a bit about me, and her, I dunno what I could or would do if Lexie was, like, in love with me or something

Rio: But perfectly valid, this is a shit show

Rio: You don’t need to worry about her, she’s not going to come anywhere near me or mine ever again

Rio: it’s a betrayal beyond what she said in the text, and she knows that

Liam: she don’t worry me, and you don’t have to worry about anything but what she’s trying to involve you in

Rio: Oh we’re done

Rio: now I know she can’t fuck with me any more

Liam: loads of good came out of tonight then

Rio: I suppose that’s true

Rio: it doesn’t feel like that right now but hey

Liam: being done with her shite is gonna feel better in the long run

Rio: Sorry, I am not trying to dump this on you

Rio: that’s how I got here

Liam: Edie’s not mad at you but she would be at me if I just dipped on her sister in the middle of this

Rio: I appreciate that you took the time to do the digging

Rio: can I ask how you went about it?

Liam: not if you’re asking bc you wanna do more on her, that’s not being done or gonna make you feel better

Rio: Oh, no, it’s not about her

Rio: It’s for personal reasons

Liam: if you don’t know what you’re doing you’re gonna end up alerting the person you’re looking into before you find out what you wanna know

Rio: and it’s not something you can teach me?

Rio: I’m not a totally technophobic 👵 I swear

Liam: I don’t even know what you’re looking for

Rio: If Lexie had done more to me, behind the scenes, how could I find out if it was her

Liam: you’d know bc she can’t cover her tracks, it was easy for me to find the things I did

Rio: you don’t think she could keep it up then

Rio: yeah, that’s probably true

Liam: I don’t know, maybe if she wanted this to blow up as fast as it did and didn’t want something else to

Rio: She’s shot herself in the foot if it was her

Rio: anyway

Rio: I still feel bad, I should make it up to Edie

Liam: we could be giving her too much credit or not enough

Liam: Edie meanwhile deserves full credit for how the show went

Rio: I’m going to take her on an actual decent night out

Rio: you’re invited too, of course

Liam: thanks, if she wants me there, I’ll be there

Rio: We could go [somewhere bouj and your vibe] next weekend

Liam: where 😏

Liam: now I’ve searched it, yeah, alright, she’ll feel 👑 going there

Rio: Right?

Rio: I know it was technically your birthday but a girl can never feel like a 👑 too much

Rio: I’ll take her shopping first too but you don’t have to come to that bit, don’t worry 😉

Liam: wouldn’t be the first time I’ve waited outside a fitting room with a bag or the extra clothes they won’t let you take in

Rio: Bless

Rio: sisters are good training for girlfriends, for sure

Rio: I went out with a guy who had like all brothers and he was hopeless

Liam: my ma’d claim it’s more to do with her, however much of me is well behaved

Rio: well of course, that goes without saying

Rio: you aren’t a mummy’s boy type though, are you? 🤴

Rio: ‘cause I hadn’t even thought to warn her about that possibility yet

Liam: you’re too late with any warnings now

Rio: god, don’t say that, sounds so 😬 like 😂

Liam: if she calls me a mammy’s boy when you ask her, I’ll see myself out, like

Rio: I highly doubt she’ll say anything negative about you

Liam: your ma didn’t order me out when I met her, but you can give me a clue if she was just being polite, yeah

Rio: She was as surprised as the rest of us

Rio: but she’s pretty chill, and you aren’t a serial killer, so you’re good on that one

Liam: bit soon to crack a joke at Lexie’s expense or yours about how we don’t all get caught doing what we shouldn’t

Rio: 😏

Rio: if my sister goes missing, I think I’ll be able to put 2x2 together on that one, babe

Liam: the boyfriend did it every time, no technological skill required to solve the case, only luminol and an awareness of toxic masculinity

Rio: no wonder my ma liked you if you came out with all that

Rio: that’s just her energy

Liam: liked could be a bit strong but I’ll work on it, I get that everyone’s not gonna be celebrating as hard as mine is

Rio: that’s so cute 😫

Rio: it’s sweet, no one’s hating now

Liam: it’s the looking older thing, putting me at a disadvantage one time, but she knows I’m not 24 or something crazy now

Rio: No offence, but it could be a lot worse

Rio: she’s gone around with some strange people 🥴😷

Rio: and yeah, you aren’t that much older, really, so along with what you clearly have in common

Rio: I see it

Liam: not gonna get offended you think I’m normal, it’s a massive asset when I’m going round being a huge criminal, clearly

Rio: Ha, is it

Rio: stop with your jokes I’m tryna be sincere 😅

Liam: stop being sincere, you’ve had a fucked up night and if you don’t 😂 you’ll be 😭 is the cliche

Rio: God, too real

Rio: How tragic of me

Liam: nobody’ll hear it from me 😂 or 😭

Rio: Cheers, like

Rio: I’ll go get another drink and toast being free/drown my sorrows

Liam: I’d offer but you could be 3 drinks in while I’m still waiting to be served

Rio: I look older too 💁‍♀️

Liam: 🥂

Rio: I’d offer to get you guys some but I can’t 👀 yous and I’m sure you’re gonna go do something better now

Liam: I'll think of something to put the spotlight back on Edie and keep her feeling special until it's your turn

Rio: 🥰

Rio: Good job

Liam: she could teach you how to find out if Lexie did mess with you at all before, instead of giving a stranger like me access to your devices

Rio: Ah, I don’t wanna worry her

Rio: I’ll just forget about it, it’s no big

Liam: is it that worrying

Rio: Maybe I’m just over-protective, I’m sure that’s what she’d say

Liam: yeah, honestly, but I wouldn’t say it’s a bad thing

Rio: She’ll thank me when she’s not a crazy teen

Liam: probably true

Rio: It sounds like wishful thinking, I know

Rio: but I’ve been there

Liam: wishful thinking you ain’t a crazy teen no more

Rio: Charming! 😂

Liam: not a 👵 you wanted me to know

Rio: If I am you are, and you want me to know you’re not too old for her soooo 🤫

Liam: you already admitted it could be loads worse

Rio: You aren’t some sleazy ‘producer’ who pretends you don’t know how old she really is

Rio: or some wannabe rockstar

Liam: unwishful thinking or did it happen

Rio: She’s not stupid, thank God

Rio: just nightmare scenarios that would be way more worrying if she remotely was

Liam: it’s that you’ve been afraid to come to her shows before now then

Rio: Pretty much

Rio: and idk

Rio: contrary to how it seems, I try to let them have their own things

Liam: I get your motives

Rio: If she wanted me there, she’d ask, wouldn’t she?

Liam: if it’s that simple between you two

Rio: Simple ain’t the word

Liam: which sounds like her coming out with what she do or don’t want ain’t likely

Rio: She’s been vocal about what she doesn’t want but I can’t do that for her, that’s the problem

Liam: confrontation where you don’t expect anything to change is easier than getting vulnerable over something you could have, or wish you could, but dunno if you’ll get

Liam: her music matters to her, but you playing along and 👏 bc you’re her big sister isn’t enough

Rio: I know it does, doesn’t she know that

Liam: she thinks you don’t take it serious

Rio: That’s not true

Liam: to her it is or she wouldn’t have told me and I wouldn’t be telling you

Rio: I don’t know why I’ve said any of this to you

Liam: there’s some anonymity as you don’t know me, but I’m kinda invested so you’re not just venting to someone who isn’t

Rio: Honestly, forget about it

Rio: I can talk to my own sister when I need to, we’re fine

Liam: yeah, but you can let me help too

Rio: What can you do about it?

Liam: you’re here bc I invited you

Rio: She could’ve said no

Liam: and she didn’t, she said it was a good idea

Rio: yeah

Rio: me and Edie are fine

Rio: despite any efforts from ex-friends or otherwise

Liam: nobody’s crediting Lexie to that level

Rio: what are you saying, Liam?

Rio: if there’s a problem you know about, then just say

Liam: if it was about her it’d be over, it’s you saying it ain’t simple between you and Edie, I’m not saying anything

Rio: It never is, is it

Rio: were things simple with your sister?

Liam: yeah, a terminal illness is gonna make things pretty simple, like

Rio: Oh, I would’ve imagined the opposite

Liam: not for a relationship dynamic, she gets what she wants

Rio: I guess so

Rio: well, obviously, it can’t work like that long-term, sorry to be blunt

Rio: but I’m not telling you anything you don’t know

Liam: I wasn’t telling you to follow the example of me and my sister

Rio: I know

Rio: Some things can’t be fixed, that’s the truth

Liam: don’t mean you throw round a statement like that and stop trying to

Rio: All I do is try

Rio: you don’t know

Liam: I know Edie’s worth the effort

Rio: and so do I

Liam: you’ve got time and loads of chances to keep on trying is the truth

Rio: Look, it’s not a secret I’m dating our cousin, so I know you know that

Rio: it’s also not a secret that plenty of people, Edie being one of them, are not fans of that

Rio: I can’t change any of that, that’s something we’re all going to have to live with

Liam: there’s stuff you can change though that’d make things better than they are

Rio: I’m not doing anything else wrong

Rio: in her eyes, anyway

Rio: that’s where the problem starts and stops

Liam: if you say so

Rio: You’ve known her five minutes

Rio: I really don’t need a lecture when I’ve known her her whole life

Liam: I wouldn’t keep it this vague if I was putting you in your place instead of trying to spare your feelings

Rio: Spare my feelings? Like she hasn’t said it all a million times worse? 😂

Rio: worry about what you know about her after-all, but thanks

Liam: I’ve got no worries about her

Rio: ‘course not

Rio: look, I sincerely mean drop it

Rio: it’s been an intense night and a weird one on my end, let’s act like we left it there, yeah

Liam: you not wanting my help don’t mean I’m retracting the offer, it’s still there

Rio: You’re dating her, you don’t need to impress me, like

Liam: it’s about her, not you

Rio: You don’t reckon she’s better off without me then

Liam: I wouldn’t admit to it, isolating someone from their family and mates is a huge red flag

Rio: 😏 Encouraging as ever that you just bring that shit up in lieu of nothing

Liam: you brought it up

Rio: no I didn’t

Liam: when you asked me if I think she’d be better off without you

Rio: that’s hardly accusing you of being a psycho abuser

Liam: it’d be a toxic thought for me to have, especially bc I’ve not known her long enough for you

Rio: you haven’t known her long enough to have a go at me on the matter, that’s what I meant by that

Liam: I’m not having a go, I’m having a convo you started and I think is worth keeping going, for Edie’s sake

Rio: I’m not mad at you

Rio: so agreed

Liam: she’s already helped me loads with shite I’m struggling with, I wanna help her too, if I can

Rio: that’s nice

Rio: genuinely

Rio: you clearly care, I don’t have to worry about that

Liam: we did just meet but everyone’s gotta start somewhere

Rio: of course

Rio: you know people usually don’t go this fast though, I’ve not just imagined that up

Rio: most lads ‘refuse to put a label on it’

Liam: most lads think they’ve got as much time as they want to fuck about, my brain’s not wired for wasting it

Rio: I get that

Rio: but you don’t have to skip ahead, miss the fun parts, you know

Rio: like, you don’t feel forced, right

Liam: what do you think she’s rushing me into or vice versa

Rio: I know our experiences shape us, and we have no control over that, trust me, I do

Rio: but idk, it’d make me sad to think you end up doing things you didn’t actually want to, or miss out on the little things, for the sake of fitting it all in, in pursuit of those milestones

Rio: you know

Rio: neither of you deserves that

Liam: you’ve described the opposite of what we’re both doing, it’d be funny if I’d never done any of it before or I was pretending to you I hadn’t, but I’m not with her

Liam: I want it to be different and she knows it is

Rio: If that’s what you both want

Rio: then that’s all good with me

Liam: after that’s what Lexie did, I fully expected Edie to want me to do stuff I wasn’t down to, but that was before I really knew her

Rio: What did Lexie do?

Liam: you know how she can be, it was intense, and asking too much of me

Rio: that’s fucked up of her

Rio: are you okay, did you tell anybody?

Liam: what would I have said, she fancies me too hard, I had bigger things going on, it barely registered until I said about it to Edie and she was upset for me

Rio: She shouldn’t have gone out with you

Rio: even if she thought she was doing a nice thing, she clearly wasn’t mature enough to even attempt to go about it in a good way

Liam: I shouldn’t have agreed to it, she wasn’t forcing that bit, it was on me

Rio: You were grieving, bad decisions are expected

Liam: nobody was mature enough back then, it was ages ago

Rio: so young

Liam: too late now to use the rushing things chat on her

Rio: I don’t think she’s been an evil bitch the whole time

Rio: she got it wrong back then

Rio: but this time she’s crossed a line

Liam: and got caught out for it

Rio: yep

Rio: oh well, at least it’s over

Rio: even if I never work out what I did to make her do that

Liam: it’s clearly a her thing, whatever her damage is, not your fault somehow you could point at and say yeah there’s what I did

Rio: yeah

Rio: I think I’d rather I could know, what it was about

Rio: that over thinking she did it just ‘cos

Liam: I could look again, see if there’s more to find, but it ain’t gonna be a folder called why

Rio: ha

Rio: nah, you’re alright

Rio: I can move on without it

Liam: drowning your sorrows or doing a cheers, wasn’t it

Rio: 🥂

Liam: I can see you

Liam: but we're gonna head off, direct from your sister is she already feels high

Liam: I'll pick her up if you wanna 👋 [and do pick her up before Rio can answer lol]

Rio: I saw your ma commented, are you going home?

Liam: not straight back

Rio: okay, well have fun

Liam: and you

Rio: 🧡🧡

Rio: and tell her I’m sorry, yeah?

Rio: and that she was really good

Liam: yeah, I'll let her know

Rio: thanks, Liam

Liam: she'll wanna hear it

Rio: I hope so

Liam: and about [wherever they are going on this double date] too

Rio: convince her if not

Rio: she’ll 🧡 it when she gets there

Liam: both of us getting to dress up will have her 😁

Rio: absolutely

Rio: I’ve not completely forgotten who she is, like

Liam: I was hyping up your plan not calling you out as being blackout drunk this fast

Rio: you know what I mean

Rio: blackout is now the mood but hey

Liam: don’t let Lexie get to you

Rio: I’ll do my best 🙃

2 notes · View notes

kim-seungmine · 5 years

Text

let’s go home together

title: let’s go home together

characters: (fem) reader x i.n/yang jeongin of stray kids

word count: 4692

genre: slice-of-life, romance, high school au, emo!jeongin i guess

synopsis: jeongin is heartbroken and you’re in love. separated by two different feelings, both of you soon learn about how blurry the line between the two is.

a/n: i planned this to be longer tbh. nevertheless, here it is! this story is pretty straightforward, i hope you’ll like it! and this is a i’ll hold your hand spin-off so you’ll see some familiar stuff! (you can read this on its own!)

Yang Jeongin doesn’t know why it’s called “broken heart” instead of “destroyed heart” or “ruined heart” because seriously, he feels his heart has been shattered into a million of pieces and the word “broken” will never be able to represent how devastated he exactly is.

Everyone—especially high school students—has experienced at least 1 painful breakup but this is never what Jeongin expected to feel. His English tutor Kim Seungmin said that first breakups always hurt more, but he never mentioned that it would hurt this bad.

“What are you doing here?”

Jeongin glances at his surroundings, narrowing his eyes when he sees you standing at the door, your backpack slung over one shoulder. He’s seen you somewhere he can’t remember, but Jeongin is sure you’re also a sophomore. “Can’t I be here?” he responds with an icy tone that makes you furrow your brows.

“Everyone is welcome here,” you answer. “But you are aware that this is the Arts club meeting room, right?”

“Do I look like I would suck at drawing? Aren’t you guys supposed to support one another because there’s no right and wrong in art?”

You rub your temple. “That was just a yes-no question,” you pause to look at his nametag, “Yang Jeongin. Are you usually this irritable?”

“No,” he sighs. “Sorry.”

You shrug, setting your art supplies near the easel in front of Jeongin’s. “Whatever,” you mumble. “As long as you don’t break things, feel free to come.”

Jeongin has been kicked out of every single club he joined after his breakup for fighting every single person in the room (or court) and almost destroying the baseball club’s bat, but that’s another story for another day.

For now, he just desperately needs a place to make him forget.

It’s been an hour since Jeongin decided to join Arts club, and surprisingly he hasn’t snapped at anybody else but you. Lee Minho, the club’s tutor, looks like he won’t give a shit even if Jeongin burns the whole room down and the other kids don’t even bat an eyelash at him. He enjoys pouring all the rage and sadness he has in him onto the canvas; it almost feels like a therapy.

Minho stops in front of him, examining his work before tapping his shoulder. Jeongin has no idea how Minho ended up in this place. One look at him and he knows Minho will forget everything everyone in this room says in 30 seconds. “Now Jeongin, our newest member, could you tell us anything about your painting?”

Jeongin takes a glance at his painting (that wasn’t exactly a painting, just bold splashes of colors) as the whole class keep their gazes on him. He knows none of them actually cares and that’s what he wants: being honest without having anyone asking him questions.

“I’m just angry,” he answers. Minho nods, “And you definitely didn’t hold back. Amazing, Jeongin, but I hope you’ll feel better soon.”

Minho’s tone is almost nonchalant, but Jeongin appreciates the fact that the older boy doesn’teven bother pretending to care. Putting all his belongings back into his bag, Jeongin stops when Minho reaches you. “Your turn, Y/N.”

You clear your throat, stealing glances at Minho as you’re talking about the importance of small kind gestures. “So, if you’re wondering why you’re so easily annoyed by small matters, it’s probably because you never really stop to appreciate the little joys in life.”

Minho hums in approval and your cheeks flush a little. “Well, in that case, you opening the classroom for me today definitely made my day better. Thank you Y/N.”

You only respond with a small smile, but the look in your eyes gives everything away. You have a huge crush on Lee Minho, and Jeongin wonders when you will realize that Minho won’t return your feelings. Was his relationship this obvious too? Did other people notice that it wasn’t working?

Was he the only one who was blind?

Life itself is a rollercoaster ride, but the speed doubles when you’re in love: one second you feel like you’re on top of the world, but it goes down before you can even reach out to the sky. It gives you a taste of excitement, of fear, of happiness, but the moment you want to savor those feelings, the ride ends. Leaving you all messy and nauseous.

You love painting, you love getting your hands dirty as you mix colors and swipe your brush on the empty canvas. But not when you have a tutoring lesson in 10 minutes. Seungminnever likes it when you stain the worksheets he prints with so much care although it happens all the time and there’s nothing you can do about it.

“When will your lazy ass hand in homework on time?!”

Your brain registers that voice as Seungmin’s, but you remember e-mailing your homework to him last night. And since when is he calling you “lazy ass?”

“How did you know that I’m here?”

“Maybe it’s time for you to hide your Instagram Stories from me.”

“How much does my Mom pay you? Why are you even more demanding than she is?”

“Enough to drag you back to Busan and make you beg for her forgive—hi Y/N!”

It turns out that Seungmin isn’t scolding you, but the angry boy you just met. Jeongin mouths a quiet, “Ah so that’s where I saw her!” before turning to Seungmin. “Why are you only harassing me?” he quips.

You continue to watch them snap at each other, almost failing to return Minho’s wave as the latter quickly slips past the bickering—they’ve started yelling now—duo. You don’t know why you’re still standing there; maybe it’s because of the way Seungmin returns Jeongin’s snarky remarks with sass you’ve never seen before.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Seungmin.” You tap his shoulder to grab his attention. “I have to go home now.”

“Oh wait!” he exclaims. “I’ve been meaning to tell you this, but next week I’ll start intensive practice for our next baseball match and the schedule clashes with your session. Since you two apparently know each other, can I combine your sessions together?”

Jeongin snorts. “You’re in your last year. Why are you still in the team?”

“There are 2 reasons. One, nobody is a better pitcher than I am and Seo Changbin is desperate. Two, I want to do it.”

“When’s your session?” you ask Jeongin when he’s about to start another war with the older boy. English looks like an easy subject, but it really isn’t. You’re not a top student, and you don’t want to lose Seungmin. He’s a great tutor and also a dependable big brother you wish you had.

“Every Thursday.”

“I’m free on Thursdays, so it’s fine.”

Seungmin lets out a sigh of relief and pulls both you and Jeongin to his sides. “Let me buy you dinner, my children!”

Ten minutes later, you’re munching Subway’s meatball burger while listening to Seungmin’s so-called lecture about moving on. “Don’t force yourself to move on. What you’re doing right now will only hurt yourself more,” he says.

You prop your elbow on the table, watching Jeongin’s expression hardens as Seungmin takes another piece of French fries. Talking about feelings with your English tutor and a boy you barely know feels rather weird. Usually you just hop from a circle of friends to another without really being a part of them. Feelings never get involved, except maybe with Minho.

“I’m fine. I’m over her,” Jeongin emphasizes, squeezing his paper cup as he downs the rest of his Cola. “Can we please talk about something else?”

“What did she say to you?”

The idea of separation confuses you more than the idea of falling in love. It’s not entirely because of the person leaving you—you’re used to that—it’s about the feelings that linger. You’ve never been in an actual relationship, but you know about heartbreak all too well. When your best friend from the orphanage you live in got adopted, you felt it. The pain of being left behind. Then someone else left and you felt it again. Soon, it became a routine.

The exact same feeling, with the same amount of pain, but nothing more.

Jeongin huffs, glancing at Seungmin who nods in approval. “Nothing. She just said that she doesn’t like me anymore… which is bullshit. I must’ve done something wrong.”

“Is she dating someone else now?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Maybe that’s all there is to it. She simply doesn’t like you anymore.”

Seungmin clears his throat, patting your hand as a sign to stop talking. “How is that possible?” Jeongin counters.

Seungmin is now gripping your wrist, but you ignore him. “People get bored, Yang Jeongin. Even parents get bored of their children. I’ve seen people returning the children they choose by themselves before the adoption is finalized just because they don’t feel like it anymore.”

“What she means is—”

“You mean I’m boring and not likeable so I should just shut up because she was bound to dump me anyways?”

“Why do you always make conclusions before people finish talking?!”

“But you said it yourself! You, who don’t have a boyfriend or even a friend of your own!”

“Stop it, both of you.”

The tone of Seungmin’s voice, people’s stares and the suffocating silence that follows immediately shut you up. You gather your things, blinking your eyes rapidly so no one will notice that you’re crying. “I’m sorry,” you quiver. “Forget everything I said. And thanks for the burger, Seungmin.”

Jeongin’s words keep playing in your head as you’re catching the last train, and you realize that you have nowhere and no one to come home to.

Seungmin is already waiting in the library when Jeongin shows up. “Where’s Y/N?” he questions.

“Please don’t give me that look,” Jeongin dismisses him, opening his laptop. “I tried, okay? I tried going after her but I couldn’t find her.”

“We’re not starting until Y/N is here. I’m responsible for both of you, but you have to apologize for being such an asshole last night,” Seungmin states. There was a time when Jeongin thought being an asshole sounded cool, but now his heart just feels heavy.

“Have you ever been an asshole to someone?” he asks, almost too quiet for Seungmin to hear.

“I don’t know, does liking your best friend’s soon-to-be girlfriend count?”

“You’re supposed to be my life guru but you’re asking me this basic question?” Jeongin scoffs. “Liking someone is never a crime… as long as you don’t make a move to steal her or anything. Does this girl like Hwang Hyunjin? Or Han Jisung? But no way, Han Jisung only has eyes for Lee Chaeyeon.”

“Bingo,” Seungmin sighs. “And how do you know my friends so well?”

“Hi guys. Sorry I’m late.”

Jeongin looks up, meeting your puffy eyes. You look like you cried yourself to sleep and he makes a mental note to actually apologize to you this time. He’s not an asshole, especially when he’s had firsthand experience of being hurt (and dumped).

He quickly pulls out a chair for you, trying to make his intention to make peace crystal clear. “I went to sleep straight away last night. Sorry I didn’t do the homework,” you tell Seungmin who only smiles at you. “It’s fine, Y/N. We’ll go through it today.”

“I’m sorry.”

Jeongin cringes when he hears his own voice because it’s supposed to sound calm and sincere, not desperate. “I’m gonna sabotage the class for 5 minutes,” he informs Seungmin before turning to you. “I’m taking back everything I said last night. I know what’s done is done and you probably won’t believe me, but it’s not true. And thank you, for being honest with me.”

You glance at Seungmin who’s looking at you as if you’re about to burn Jeongin to ashes. “I’m not gonna kill him, Seungmin. Don’t worry,” you chuckle, and soon the three of you are laughing like there’s no tomorrow.

“I think it’s better if you find out now than later. Maybe it hurts less this way.”

No, it fucking doesn’t. Being rejected before you actually confess still hurts just as bad. Probably even worse. Does Minho hate you that much? Are you that annoying that Minho decided to straight up reject you when you haven’t planned to tell him about your feelings?

How did he know anyways? Was it because you baked him cookies that one time? Was it because you recommended him to your teacher when the school needed a new tutor for Arts club? Was it because you bought one of his cats a new collar?

…. damn. You were obvious.

Now, hidden near the parking lot, you’re crying your heart out—ignoring your ringing phone. Getting rejected sucks, but it’s still nothing compared to having a break down in front of other people. You hate crying in public; you swallow everything up and become one of the toughest students at school.

But you’re nowhere near tough, you’re just too stubborn and too prideful to let people see your true self.

“You’re really something, aren’t you?”

You look up—with bloodshot eyes and runny nose—to see Jeongin hovering over you, hands on his hips. “Out of all places you could choose, you chose to cry behind these bushes. You really think no one will hear you if you’re wailing here?”

“Shut up,” you groan. “How did you know that I’m here?”

He rolls his eyes. “I told you. Everyone can hear you sobbing from a meter away. For someone who wants to stay hidden, you’re loud.”

His face turns a little pale when you bury your face into your knees again. Jeongin crouches down, brushing fallen leaves on your head before cupping your cheeks. “Let’s go home.”

Yang Jeongin isn’t your friend. Well, both of you are in the Arts club and he’s also in Kim Seungmin’s English tutoring group, but he’s not your friend. You two just happen to have helped each other a little, and seeing that he no longer punches anyone or anything in his way means you must have done something right.

Yang Jeongin isn’t your friend, so how does he make you feel better with just a simple phrase?

“Why? Do you want to do something else? Cake? Movies? PC Room?”

You shake your head, letting him pull you up. “Do you even know where I live?”

“Nope.”

“What if it’s faraway from your place?”

He shrugs. “Doesn’t matter. We can still go together, can’t we?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Jeongin lets you lead the way, swiftly enveloping your hand in his when you start sniffling again. “Was this the first time you got rejected?” he asks, as if the said event happened a long time ago. He cracks a smile when you scowl at him. “Stop making fun of me.”

“I’m not!” He lifts his hands in defends while still holding yours. “Trust me on this, you’ll feel better after you talk about it,” he continues. “So go on, talk about his pretty eyes, his sexy thighs—”

“Are you sure you’re not the one having feelings for Minho?”

“…his powerful, soulless stare that opens the portal to another universe, his zero interest in teaching us arts because let’s face it, he’s a shitty tutor.”

You’ve been heartbroken for 30 minutes, but you can already see how it weakens you. The fact that humans can be so easily swayed always scares you, but you don’t want this moment to end. You want to stay like this, walking to the bus stop with Jeongin’s hand wrapped around yours in a tight grip and talking about nothing else but Lee Minho. You want to keep looking into his sparkly eyes as he listens to your rambles. You want to remember his soft voice convincing you that beautiful days will come soon.

Jeongin probably means none of them, but all the words he says sound like a promise, like a seed planted inside your heart.

Whether it will bloom or not, you have no idea.

Whether Jeongin is a rebound or a new love, you have no idea.

At least not yet.

grumpy: im outside

Nothing really happened during your way home. Besides trying to make you stop crying, Jeongin didn’t do anything—only holding your hand until you arrived at the orphanage. He played a game of soccer with some of the little kids before heading home without saying a word to you. No scolding, no snarky comments, no words of encouragement, nothing.

But now, standing in dark, wearing his pink Converse, he’s something and everything you need. Before Jeongin can say anything, you’ve run to him and wrapped your arms around his waist. You expect him to push you away, or at least yells in shock, but he only returns your hug. When you begin to sob into his shirt, Jeongin presses a kiss onto your hair.

“The power that Lee Minho has,” he finally whispers. “He made our Ice Princess cry like this.”

“I never said anything about Minho. Were you really following me?” you croak, trying to look into his eyes before he hugs you even tighter. The moment you hear his calming heartbeat, he begins to ramble about how “ungrateful morons” like Minho deserve nothing but a middle finger. Jeongin whisper-yells all kinds of curse words he knows in your stead, occasionally rubbing your back everytime you seem to shiver in his hold.

When he eventually pulls away, you’re a mess. Being with Minho makes you feel light and giddy—away from your worries. Being with Jeongin makes you feel the exact opposite; he keeps you on the ground like gravity, reminding you that the world is often harsh and unwelcoming. Strangely, you can’t get enough of it. Of him. Whatever his real intentions may be.

“Why are you here?” you blurt out, chuckling when he fails to answer. “Do you pity me that much? Or do you just want to welcome me to Yang Jeongin’s Broken Heart Club?”

“Do you really like him that much?” he asks instead, sparkly eyes clouded with something you can’t fathom.

The question remains unanswered until you wake up in the morning, his voice echoing in your head.

As much as he wants to be good at saying goodbyes, Jeongin has to admit that it’s something he’ll never get used to. Whether it’s saying goodbye to his family in Busan after every visit, saying goodbye to his big brother when he enlisted, or even saying goodbye to a stray cat he meets outside his house.

Jeongin hopes the next time he gets his heart broken, he won’t end up this pathetic.

Seungmin is graduating today after getting into Seoul National University, living up to his “perfect, almighty Kim Seungmin” nickname. Saying goodbye to his English teacher shouldn’t be hard, but Jeongin’s heart hurts a little at the thought.

He spots you from afar, carrying a huge painting you both made the night before. Jeongin jogs to you, taking the painting into his arms. “I hope no one laughs at it,” you mutter quietly.

“I think people will be scared,” Jeongin laughs. “It’s a puppy wearing uniform for God’s sake. What do you expect?”

You huff as you enter the auditorium filled with parents, teachers and the graduates themselves. “And whose idea was that?”

Jeongin grins, putting down the painting at the corner of the room before ruffling your hair. “Mine.”

Your eyes light up at his cheekiness, and he realizes nothing scares him more than having to say goodbye to you.

“Today’s our graduation day, and I kept debating with myself whether I should do this or not.”

Jeongin stands on tiptoe to see the stage better, gasping when he spots Seungmin standing there.

“Thank you to our headmaster for letting me do this.” Seungmin stops to bow at the headmaster, causing everyone to do the same. “I know I don’t usually sing, but I’d like to perform this for all of you: for those who want to let go, for those who want to start fresh, and for those who just want to have fun. This is First Time.”

Seungmin’s sweet voice bewitches the whole auditorium, including you. Jeongin watches you intently, his smile gets wider with each “Whoa!” that escapes your lips. At times like this, you look like an innocent child who only knows the beauty of the world.

“Kim Seungmin has gone insane,” he comments, letting his shoulder brushes with yours. You glance at him, your lips slowly forming a pout. “Why? He sounds good.”

Jeongin points his finger at another girl in the crowd who’s singing along to the song with Hwang Hyunjin, one of the most popular seniors at school. “This song is for that girl,” he explains. You widen your eyes when you let the lyrics sink in. “He’s… breaking up with her?”

“Are you kidding me? He has no chance against Hwang Hyunjin.”

“Where did you get this information?”

“The perfect, almighty Kim Seungmin showed up at my uncle’s house at 3AM and begged me to let him weep over his one-sided love in my room.”

There seems to be a lot of things you want to say, but now Han Jisung has joined Seungmin on stage. You cheer along with the crowd, singing along to the lyrics while trying not to cry. Jeongin averts his gaze back to the stage so that you could cry freely. He meets Seungmin’s eyes at some point, and Jeongin wonders when Seungmin learned to say goodbye with such sincere eyes.

“Do you think Seungmin will be okay?” you mumble when the song ends. Seungmin and Jisung give everyone one last bow before running down the stage, carefree smiles on their faces. Jeongin ponders your question, looking for the familiar ache he himself has been feeling for months.

It’s gone.

“He will,” Jeongin finally answers. “Maybe not now, but he will.”

“I assume that you guys know I won’t ever hang this in my room. Or anywhere in sight.”

Seungmin examines the painting you and Jeongin give him, grimacing as he tries to brush off the dry paint on the dog-slash-human’s face.

“Jeongin did that,” you retort. “Actually all of this happened because of him.”

“This will give me nightmares,” Seungmin protests with a huge smile on his face. This won’t be the last time you see Seungmin because he will always have time for a Day6 concert and so will you, no matter how many part time works you have to do in order to go. Even so, you still have tears rolling down your cheeks which makes Jeongin pouts.

“I can’t believe you’re crying over Kim Seungmin.”

Seungmin smacks his back playfully. “Awww, is our baby jealous?”

Jeongin flushes deep red and Seungmin yells at his friends to wait for him. “I have to go,” the latter says solemnly. “Don’t kill each other. I know how much you kiddos wanna kiss each other so do just that, okay?”

“I’m gonna kill him instead,” Jeongin mutters under his breath as Seungmin leaves. His sharp words jab at your heart, harder than Minho’s words and it makes you feel everything you’ve been trying not to feel for the past few months.

“Jeongin.” You tug on his sleeve, looking down when he searches your eyes.

“Does Seungmin graduating really made you this sad? He’s only a phone call away and he loves you more than he loves me and—”

“I didn’t like Minho that much,” you whisper. Jeongin gapes at you, pulling you closer to him as you fumble with your skirt. You lift your head up to see him trying to stop himself from grinning, tightening his grip on your wrist.

“Minho volunteered at the orphanage a year ago, and he still comes often now. When everyone found out we go to the same school they introduced him to me. And being with him was so easy. He was nice,” you tell him.

Jeongin scoffs. “Well, define nice.”

“Why did you stay in Arts club?”

His silence gives you more courage, so you look directly into his eyes this time. “I bet you wouldn’t last 10 minutes if the tutor was someone else,” you conclude. “It was the same for me. Minho never pities me although he knows where I came from; he never even looked at me in pity. That’s probably because he doesn’t care—”

“You’re right, he fucking doesn’t. The most soulless creature in this universe.”

“... but it made me comfortable. I feel comfortable around him. But I guess that’s it.”

“You, meanwhile, make me feel all kinds of things. At first I thought it was because Minho rejected me, but the more I see you the more I realized that it’s not just me looking for a rebound. You confront me, but yet you’re always here somehow. Whenever you didn’t show up at tutoring session or club meeting I became worried. When I don’t see you I’m always wondering whether you feel better—because you deserve to feel better. Your breakup doesn’t define you, Jeongin. Well, you like to cut me off when I’m talking and you’re really annoying sometimes, but other than that, you’re cool.”

“Minho doesn’t like me that way, and while it hurt I got over it pretty fast. “Losing” Minho didn’t affect that much, I’m used to goodbyes anyways. But I’m afraid that I’m gonna lose you, and I think that says a lot about how I really feel about you.”

You take a deep breath, your cheeks starting to blush as Jeongin only stares at you in shock. He squeezes your hand after what seems like an eternity. “I have a confession to make,” he declares. “I hope this won’t ruin things for us but promise me you’ll listen, okay?”

“I did pity you. I know you don’t really have close friends although you do have a lot of friends. Your feelings—or whatever you call it—for Minho were so obvious and it was also obvious that he didn’t feel the same. I gotta admit that made you look pathetic.”

“But I was even more pathetic anyways,” he quickly adds when you pinch his waist. “I tried to stop myself from doing… everything I’ve done, but I just couldn’t stop myself. I did happen to hear your conversation with Minho and I did follow you then, but it was because I felt that my heart broke along with yours. And you cried, goddamn it. I hate seeing you cry.”

“That was why I came to see you again that night, but you cried even more when I was there. I’m not sure if I helped you feel better.”

“You did. I slept well that night,” you say.

He smiles, causing you to poke his dimple. “I’m also afraid to lose you, Y/N. This is cheesy, but I want to see you smile everyday—especially if you smile for me. I want to go home with you everyday, I want to play with the kids at the orphanage while they tell me about how amazing you are. I like you, and I want you to be happy, I guess. And I want to make you happy, if you give me the chance.”

Both of you are blushing like mad now, facing each other awkwardly, but you don’t want to change anything. This is worth all the blushing.

The shyness eventually subsides and now Jeongin’s looking at you with a teasing glance. He pulls you into a hug, kissing your temple tenderly when he thinks nobody is watching. “Let’s go home,” he mumbles. “Together.”

You snort into his shoulder. “You’re saying that as if we live together or something.”

“Home is wherever you are, babe.”

As cheesy as that sounds, Jeongin’s probably right. The two of you found each other in the most confusing time of your lives. And in this big, scary world, having someone to come home to is one of the most beautiful blessings a person should cherish.

236 notes · View notes

autisticmight · 4 years

Text

hey remember that time a couple of weeks ago when i translated some bnha leaks

because i found some today from @trashformha and i’m going to Make Another Attempt

edited bc i messed up one bit!!! i mean, i’ve messed up many, but still

so, basically, they’re all fucked. there’s a threat too big, even for all of these heroes.

bubble 1: nani teki wa hitori! kore wo uteneba

i don’t really get the first bit, because i’m nowhere near fluent. “nani” is, as we all know “what?” and “teki” is “opponent”

therefore i’m thinking it’s basically “which opponents are alone,” or something along those lines, for now

there’s a familiar “u” for “utsu,” in “uteneba,” and “ute” is an imperative of that. “ba” is kind of an “if, and” particle, i think. before i get a headache, i’m just going to try and summarise that bubble, like. fuck it i’m making logic bounces. “the opponent is alone! attack that way”

bubble 2: nanno tame no HERO houwajidai ka

“nanno” is, like, “what kind,” and “tame” is, as usual, basically “sake.” the “no” makes that possessive, too

you’re not gonna believe what “hero” means

whenever i look up “houwajidai,” it. OH. this is basically “what good is the age of the saturation of heroes!”

“a single opponent attacking this way! what use is this age of hero saturation?”

oh, cool!!! we’ve got rock lock, aizawa, and manual? Dad Squad!!!!!!!!!

bubble 1: “masshou” wa kaijyou shite nai...!

“masshou” is “erasure” so that’s pretty simple. “kaijyou” is “cancelling,” though jfc it’s so hard to make out the kanji that i had to use waifu2x, which made it worse, bc it’s not designed for words. and, “shite nai,” that’s just the te-form of “suru” with a negative attached, which basically means “being unable to”

so! “erasure isn’t working...!”

bubble 2: kanpeki na ... noumu tte wake ka...!

“kanpeki na,” is just adjectiving “perfect” for the noun, which is “noumu.” so, like, “the perfect noumu”

“tte,” is like “to say; as for,” you know, like all that. “wake” is like, a reasonable conclusion, or just “circumstances,” which is really kind of vague, dude

“my “erasure” isn’t working...! the perfect... noumu is...!”

i can conclude that, while aizawa can erase every quirk that belongs to a normal noumu (when he’s aware that he has to erase more than one quirk; he could not do so in the initial usj encounter until he’d been told that the noumu had multiple quirks), he cannot erase the quirks of a high-end noumu

we saw earlier in this arc, even, when it was still a hospital raid, that the narrative didn’t let aizawa use his quirk on them before

here’s the long-awaited Gran Slam. he just. slaps izuku and kacchan to the ground

bubble 1: kokora de iika

“kokora” is “hereabout” and “iika” is “listen.” he’s saying “listen here.” unless it’s “ii ka,” in which case, he’s saying “is here fine?”

bubble 2: ima shita ni aizawa-sensei ga!!

i don’t need to note this out at all. “aizawa-sensei’s down there now!!”

bubble 3: aa, shigaraki no “kosei” wo fuujitoru

the first bit is, “ah, shigaraki’s quirk” but “quirk” is in quotation marks, because that’s how it’s indicated in japanese, i guess, while we capitalise it to indicate that It’s A Special Thing; Not The Normal Word

“fuujiru” is a verb that means, like, “seal” or “block.” this is unlike “azarashi,” which is a Good Seal. you know, a selkie friend

i’d hazard that this is, like, “ah, shigaraki’s quirk is blocking everything”

bubble 4: shii-san motto hanareta hou ga iidaro!!

“hanareta” is past tense of “hanareru,” which is, “to leave; to get further away; to lose connection,” and “hou” is, in this case, i think, “direction.” “daro” seems like a shortening of “darou,” which is indicating a question, like “don’t you think?”

so, “shii-san’s got even further away, don’t you think!?”

bubble 4: jii-san motto hanareta hou ga ii daro!!

“how the fuck did this old guy get us so far away!!?”

bubble 4.5: “gran torino, kacchan wa...” which is basically “gran torino and kacchan are...” (or “huh...”) he’s introducing his other mentor to his... to his rabid pomeranian

bubble 5: OFA no kyouyuusha jyaro toshinori kara kiitoru

just so you know, the mention of “toshinori” has my brain going “!!! :D !!!”

“kyouyuusha” is “joint owners,” essentially. “jya” is just “da” in regional dialect, making “jyaro” “daro.” “kiku” can be “listen” or “ask” which sucks, but “kara” is “from,” which i know

“didn’t toshinori tell you about joint owners of one for all?” or, “didn’t you ask toshinori about joint holders of one for all?”

bubble 5 but the other half: koko ga gendo jya bakugou

“here,” a particle that indicates a specific subject, “limits,” particle indicating existence, “bakugou”

"here, you are limited, bakugou”

so!!! gran torino dumps them somewhere. he says, “around here should be fine.”

“sensei’s down there, now!” says izuku.

i think it’s kacchan who says he then says, “ugh, shigaraki’s quirk is blocking everything.”

to that, izuku says, “he’s gotten even further away, hasn’t he? gran torino, kacchan, i...”

to that, kacchan says, “how the fuck did that old dude get us so far away!!?”

then, gran torino says, “didn’t you hear from toshinori about joint owners of one for all? here, you’re limited, bakugou.”

and, while izuku tries to introduce kacchan to gran torino, gran torino says, “i’m the co-owner of one for all, basically. didn’t toshinori tell you? you’re limited here, bakugou.”

tbh i initially thought we’d switched to the league, because “shii-san” is. so weird. i could only imagine toga calling him that

oh no. he’s talking about aizawa

bubble 1: washi wa ERASER no ashi ni nari ni modoru

“washi” is just an old man personal pronoun. “ashi” is foot, and, with the particle added, i think it’s “by foot,” as a mode of transportation. “nari ni” is, like, doing things your own way. “modoru” is, in essence “to return”

in this case, i think “wa” is used as a comparison, rather than a topic marker. so, it’s like

“eraser and i both take our own paths.”

bubble 2: kakurete rotte ...... koto desu ka!?

“kakureru” is a verb meaning “to hide,” combined with a bunch of te-forms

“we’re being hidden... is that it?”

bubble 3: yatsu wa ALL FOR ONE no “kosei” wo ijyoku sareta rashii

“yatsu” is just. “him. that guy. blergh.” but “ijyoku,” is. it’s like. it’s “working from your house.” i don’t get it. and “sareru” is the passive form of “suru,” “to do.” so it’s “to be done.” and “rashii” is like. like. ish. seeming

“it’s like all for one’s quirk is working through him”

as in, like, it’s the quirk that’s really doing it, or all for one is puppeteering him from tartarus

little bubble-less text next to gran torino: DJ HERO ga ittotta

“it’s like the dj hero was saying,”

i think so, anyway

bubble 4: man ga ichi ONE FOR ALL ga ubawarete mo shitara...

“man ga ichi,” “if by any chance,” or so the jisho collocation says. it also says “ten-thousand to one,” which is more what i was thinking

“ubawareru,” or, “to steal.” i keep forgetting this, though it’s growing more familiar, and “mo,” is like, “in addition to.” like “inu mo neko mo minna suki” as “i love every one of them; dogs and cats!”

“shitara” seems to be past tense of “suru” and also a supposition, so:

“if there’s a chance, no matter how small, that one for all could be stolen...”

and, subsequently: “saiaku” wo kangaero

and i don’t think i need help translating this. i know “aku” and i know “kangae”

“if there’s any chance that one for all could be stolen, the villains will have won.”

a lot of the kanji and such are blurred, so i’m doing my best, but it’s going to be super vague and not very notey

panel 1 top: “kosei” jya nai...!! su no... chikara...!!?

“it’s not a quirk...!! that power... is his own!!?”

panel 1 bottom 1: ano chouyaku(?) mo sou datta no ka!?

“was that jump also due to it!?”

panel 1 bottom 2: furuu dakede sora suru jiyuu ni - !

i have, like, half a clue with this one, sorry

“by simply wielding it, he’s free in the sky!”

panel 2: sonna chikara... marude

“that power... it’s just like-”

bubble 1: ALL MIGHT ni wa oyobanu teido jya gana!

the bubbles are a lot clearer, so

“oyobanu.” i have no idea. it’s, like, “oyabu” is “to reach; to measure up to,” and “nu” seems to be turning it into a negative, but i have no idea what tense it’s supposed to be.

“teido” is a suffix for a noun as in “degree, amount,” so i think the “nu” nouned the “oyabu”

“gana” is kind of airy with its meaning. is it, like “wouldn’t it be nice if...” or is it making things uncertain, or is it being empathetic? where does the “jya” fit in? is it a “jyaa” or a “da?”

“don’t you think he could reach the impossible standards set by all might?”

bubble 2: karada no kado na kaizou wa nou ni fuka ga kakaru

“kado” - “excessive. “kaizou” - “remodelling; reformatting.” “nou” - “brain.” “fuka” - “burden; strain.” “kakaru” - who the fuck has a clue

“the excessive remodelling of his body allows his brain to handle this burden”

bubble 1: tasukarimasu, MANUAL-san

...yeah. i checked. he’s being so polite and he is breaking my heart

“please save them, manual”

bubble 2: bunryou kajyou ni naru to kaette shimite

“bunryou” - “amount,” “kajyou” - “excess”

“ni naru to” is a bunch of particles and shit, equating to “when it becomes”

“shimete” is, like, “to touch; pierce; sting; permeate; influence; impress”

for now, i think it means something along the lines of “you have a bunch of kids to get back to and influence,” but it’s all dependent on bubble 3

edit: i saw “kae” and thought “ah, kaeru; return!” and it’s not!!! it’s “instead!!!”

bubble 3: me wo tsumutte shimaimasunde... iki awasemashou!

“me wo tsumutte” is just, “close your eyes.”

“shimaimasu” is a polite conjugation of “shimau,” or “to end; complete.”

the “nda” means, funnily enough, “and”

“awasemashou,” i think, means, like, “let’s do it together!”

“when the excess amount you take on instead starts to sting, close your eyes, stop, and we’ll breathe together!”

#helen stfu #bnha #adventures in japanese

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bigskydreaming · 5 years

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Batman AU where a pissed off Dick Grayson, after being fired from Robin and kicked out by Bruce, doesn’t go back to the circus when he was off finding himself. Before he became Nightwing. He meant to, even made it all the way to Europe on his way to their latest stop, but in London he got....distracted, when he ran into one John Constantine.

Now, back at this point in canon, Constantine was probably in his mid-twenties at most. I’ve always pictured him mid to late thirties in current comic canon, he’s one of those guys who comes off as older than he is, b/c like, lbr, dude lives ROUGH, lol. But me being me, like, I’m not looking to hook nineteen year old Dick Grayson up with a mid-twenties staggering disaster in whiskey-soaked human form. However, that does not mean that Dick, recently feeling disillusioned about numerous things as well as lost and directionless, two things that define John in a lot of his decades, let alone twenties -

Like, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t THINK about it, and perhaps romanticize the idea of him and John being kindred spirits. As well as maybe a little attracted to Constantine’s patented performative way of living, aka “watch how I windmill through life, giving no fucks whilst taking whatever latest misfortune befalls me in an unaffected and devilishly snarky stride, because of the thing about the no fucks, see, that’s the connection there.”

And okay, if we’re being totally honest here, its not like it just COMPLETELY didn’t occur to Dick that he was coming up with reasons to justify sticking around and hanging out and also crushing on one of the people MOST likely to tick his dad off. I mean, let’s face it, John is like, the combination of three things Bruce has zero patience for and avoids or outright disdains whenever possible:

1) Magic, ugh, unreliable, illogical. (Bruce’s super-objective POV on the subject) - Look. It makes no sense. Follows no logical rules. Every usage of it is a breakdown of the normal universe and the ordered mechanism of The Way Things Are Supposed to Work, the things Batman relies on, needs in order to be him, the Great Detective, the guy who understands how everything works and that’s how he stays one step ahead of everyone else.

In a word, magic and all its works are RUDE and they like....annoy him just on principle.

2) Eternally late and relentlessly slovenly (not everyone has a live-in BUTLER Bruce, jeez)

and

3) ...John Constantine. (Let’s be real. This one just is what it is. There’s not a whole lot of getting around it. Its hard for Dick at age 19 to pretend buddying up with John isn’t guaranteed to make Bruce grind his teeth, given that its hard for anyone at any age to pretend that while Bruce almost certainly respects the things John has accomplished at various times....being in the same zip code as him is something he tries to avoid. Their personalities are not super compatible).

So, its a tiny bit possible the Great Divergence of this AU from canon.... comes down to one accidental team-up with one of Batman’s Top Ten Favorite People, No Seriously....and then Dick kinda leaning into being a bit of a petty shit here. Look, its not his finest hour, but Bruce started it, and also, like whatever. Alexa, play ‘Teenage Wasteland’ but y’know, all...SUPER LOUD and ANGSTILY.

Ahem. Anyway.

So even though Constantine rather famously likes neither people nor drama, and Dick is both those things.....Dick is also always effortlessly charming and makes friends wherever he goes. In the end, it should come as no surprise to anyone but Constantine that he is no more Immune to Dick’s innate Likeability Quotient than most of the rest of humanity.

And for a couple of weeks they kinda just hang out, get into random mishaps with magical gargoyles and ensorcelled ravens around the Tower of London and also one specific clash with a demonically possessed umbrella that turned anyone who held it into like, Mary Poppins, but also, y’know, EVIL - look it was this whole thing, don’t ask, Constantine still doesn’t like to talk about it. He even offered to show Dick how to do a minor cantrip if his mischief minded companion would agree to keep his mouth shut on the subject from now until the end of eternity.

Dick had to hem and haw over that one for a bit, but ultimately his innate curiosity won out over his fondness for telling a rousing but also hilarious tale. It was a very narrow margin, but that was all that was needed to have Dick’s foot take its very first step along a very different road in this universe.

See, Constantine’s not really expecting much to happen even as he walks Dick through the steps of the simple spell. Magic’s as unpredictable about who it’ll roll over and play tricks for as it is in how it operates and functions and like...basically accomplishes all the many varied feats that make Bruce develop spontaneous frustration migraines, because that’s not how reality works, none of this has anything to do with how reality WORKS, what happened to the RULES, dammit!

And sure, there’s all sorts of different kinds of magic, and all kinds of different lines various magic practitioners sort into....some are born into it, like the Zataras, and Constantine himself actually, though in a very different way from the former....others end up developing a knack for it after significant encounters with arcane or occult beings, forces, artifacts or the like, as though their exposure to such a focused concentration of it resulted in a kind of charge rubbing off on them, just enough to make them able to attract and gather and channel magical forces from then on themselves. Others are chosen to it, and some just have no clue why spells will work for them but not ten random pedestrians they stop on the street and use as a rather strange sample group.

But bottom line is magic isn’t just about practice and skill, you tend to either have a knack for it or you don’t, and more people don’t than do, so John’s pretty much expecting to fulfill his end of their little gentleman’s agreement and then watch Dick duplicate everything he did exactly, with zero result.

Except turns out, Dick Grayson DOES have a knack for magic, same as he has a knack for well, everything. The guy was crime fighting and kicking bad guy ass in middle school. Forget James Bond and Captain Kirk, forget even Batman himself, ROBIN is the original and ultimate Gary Stu. Of fucking course Dick would be good at magic if he ever tried it. There’s a fairly large school of thought in this universe that posits that the force they call magic is an almost living entity in its own way, perhaps even sentient. Most of the magicians and wizards and sorcerers in that school of thinking kinda all quietly nurse the opinion that magic just, like....likes Dick Grayson, and he just charmed it with his first attempt at that simple spell and had it wrapped around his finger by the time he said Abra Kadabra.

(Because of fucking COURSE John picked a spell he could end with Abra Kadabra, have you met the man? He’s the most dramatic of them all, why do you think he hates both people and drama so much??? He’s the people and the drama!)

So there we have one lost and directionless Dick Grayson, feeling like he’s lost his footing and all his old plans and projected paths don’t really fit him anymore, or at least not well enough to help him feel like he’s headed somewhere, doing something.

Buuuuuut, then there’s that petty teenage side of him again, the one that goes fuck Batman, and also I’m right to say so.....and at least that IS a direction to focus on, even if not the most noble one....so the same brain cells that linked up and logic’d him around to the conclusion that ‘Bruce will never think to look for me with John Constantine of all people, and LOL how much would he hate that’....like, big fans of the positive reception their prior performance had received, those same brain cells leap back into action with zeal and zest and steer him to the not all that distant conclusion:

“LOL, how much would Bruce hate it if I ended up being this like, super talented magician, with expertise he knows nothing about? Could you imagine?”

Turns out Dick could, and did, and so much like that initial inch in this direction, is the true basis of him following up on that and becoming a renowned sorcerous superhero in this universe the fateful last words “Screw you dad, you’re not the boss of me and I’ll do what I want!”

I mean. Yeah. That’s pretty much exactly how it began. Yup. Oops.

But the thing is, that’s just how it starts. A random string of chance encounters and events that capture Dick’s attention and interest at a time and a place in his life where he was looking for literally anything to do just that....but once it HAD his attention and interest, everything changed. It was no longer about thinking ‘hey this will really tick Bruce off,’ because Dick’s capable of that train of thought and gut/impulsive decision making, sure, but he’s not about to commit his entire LIFE to that just to flip Bruce the proverbial middle finger.

It only continues, he only keeps going and furthering his magical studies because he genuinely comes to love it for the sheer versatility, the unpredictability of it, the way holding reality in one hand and magical forces in the other is like walking a tight rope with no safety net, and sure its not the same thing as flying, but on that note, did you know there are spells that can literally make you fly?

Dick does, now, and he knows like, seventeen different ones.

And so Dick throws himself into studying magic the same way he throws himself into everything. He’s never done anything half-assed in his life. He’s physically allergic to the very idea of it. When he does a thing, he fucking COMMITS, and becomes the best he possibly can at it....which ultimately almost always puts him in the one percentile of that thing.

He learns everything he can from Constantine, or at least as much as Constantine’s willing to teach him. Eventually their paths diverge, not because of any bad blood, but just because Dick isn’t interested in the same specialties as Constantine. So then he moves on. Travels the world, similar to what Bruce did when he was his age, training to become Batman. But Dick trains with magicians, wizards, alchemists. Madame Xanadu. Sebastian Faust. Raven. Even charms freaking Circe into teaching him an enchantment or two, because lbr, a mystically inclined Dick Grayson would inevitably intrigue the more infamous mystics of the DC universe in the same way a combat-focused Dick Grayson intrigues Deathstroke and assorted others.

Everyone except for Zatanna and Jason Blood, the magicians Bruce actually respects and relies on, and who Dick is sure would report back to Bruce about him, and he’s still ticked. Plus, Zatanna’s type of magic is innate, not really something that can be taught, and Blood’s stems from his sharing his body with a demon and Dick’s not really looking for a roommate right now.

Eventually, Dick is satisfied enough with his skills and knowledge to return to the Titans. He adopts the name Nightwing, same as in canon and for the same reasons. He’s still the same man, same leader, same fighter with all the skills he already had....just now with the added repertoire of someone who’s branched off in an unlikely direction.

Hey, Bruce did want him to go to college and learn something new. Not Dick’s fault his particular field of study isn’t Bruce-approved. (Okay, its entirely Dick’s fault, since that was after all the point, but eh. Oh well).

Nightwing’s still an acrobat and hand-to-hand fighter. He’s invested too much time, effort, himself into those skills to just give them up. He’s an adrenaline junkie, thrives on motion, activity, the rush of going head to head with someone who can really push him, challenge him. His magic is incorporated into his fighting. He constructs who he becomes as magician around the foundation already in place due to who he is as an acrobat, detective and hand to hand combatant. His magic is an added skill, not a replacement for his previous skillsets.

So he has alchemical potions on his utility belt, amid his ordinary smoke bombs and gas pellets. Tools and spells of divination and scrying for when a trail goes cold and can’t be tracked further by ordinary means. But now the Titans have another mystical expert to turn to for magical related missions, not just Raven. Their specialties are entirely different, but they’ve worked together since Raven first came to this plane, and they still complement each other well.

Of course, this changes things in other ways too. Dick’s new focus takes him further away from his time with Batman than even in canon. He’s still traveling and training for most of the time Jason is Robin and never even meets him before his death. Of course he kept tabs on Gotham no matter where he was. He absolutely knows about the adoption, about a second Robin. And about Jason’s eventual death. But he’s still somewhere places unknown in the aftermath, not easily tracked down by Tim, who sets out to help Bruce on his own, wearing down Bruce’s resistance to him being Robin between just his and Alfred’s efforts. Dick remains largely estranged from the Batfamily as Cass is adopted, Steph takes her turn as Robin, etc.

And then Jason comes back from the dead.

But again, things play out differently here. This Jason is never found by Talia and the League, never dumped into a Lazarus Pit. Instead, Leslie Thompkins opens up her clinic one day to find a catatonic Jason in a bed inside, not long after he’s resurrected. He recovers as mysteriously as he returned, helped along by being in familiar environs, surrounded by loved ones as he’s of course immediately returned to the Manor and attended on by Bruce, Alfred, Babs, Tim and Cass. So he has less resentment for Tim, for being replaced. Its harder to deny Bruce’s love for him when he has Bruce by his bedside, day after day, watching and waiting throughout his recovery. He never suffers from Pit madness. Is never influenced by League ideology. Never trains with monsters and murderers awful enough he wants to kill them himself after he’s done training with them.

And its hard to resent Bruce for not avenging him and killing the Joker, when no one’s seen the Joker since almost right after Jason’s death. The clown never returns to Gotham from Ethiopia, not as far as anyone can tell. By the time Bruce set out to hunt him down, after Jason’s funeral, the trail had gone entirely cold. Bruce hunted for him, sure, but Jason can’t be too mad about Bruce giving up before finding him. The Joker’s never been one to lay low. When even just a few months had passed without even a hint of the villain or his future plans, it was hard to imagine he was still alive - he never lacked for enemies, after all. Not unreasonable that someone else had gotten to him first.

Plus, of course, its hard to compare yourself to the ‘golden boy’ and find yourself coming up short, viewing yourself as less loved than Dick Grayson, when said golden boy still remains estranged. He’s the prodigal son in this reality, with Bruce’s anger towards his eldest for never coming back to the Manor, not even after Jason’s death - its obvious to everyone, even Jason. Tim doesn’t have the close, brotherly bond with Dick that he does in canon, and with less resentment from Jason for replacing him, its easier for the two middle sons of Batman to bond after Jason’s return.

Jason returns to crime fighting, probably still takes up the name the Red Hood - his sense of humor and irony had nothing to do with his death or the specifics of his return. He and Bruce still clash. They have their ideological differences, Jason’s harsher than Bruce would prefer. But this Jason has reasons not to force an all-out divide between he and his father, sticks to the line (even if reluctantly), not because he believes differently - he still thinks he’s right about Bruce’s way being flawed and will always argue so - but because he has reasons to stay. Things he actually feels he’ll lose if he pushes things too much, actually leaves the family. Because he has a family, he has no doubts about that here. Tim and Cass and Alfred and even Bruce. He’d miss them, if he lost them. So he makes sure he doesn’t.

And then, a couple years after his return, Jason starts feeling hunted by something. Some presence, some force constantly shadowing him, stalking him. Something supernatural. Otherworldly. In time, there’s no denying it. He’s actually attacked by some unseen, invisible presence, like some kind of monstrous beast that’s hunting him and only him.

Its hard to come to any conclusion other than that it has something to do with his resurrection. Nobody knows how that happened after all. Not even Jason. But there was definitely nothing natural about it, so with something unnatural hunting him, almost as if he’s ‘the one that got away’ or some kind of affront to the natural order of things, the Batfamily adds 2 + 2 and gets ugh, fuck, we need to call a magician for help, don’t we?

Bruce calls in Zatanna and Jason Blood first, of course. But this is well outside Zatanna’s area of expertise, she has no insight to offer. Blood’s a little bit more help. He’s at least able to confirm that the force is otherworldly, not native to this plane, and might very well have something to do with Jason’s time....not on this plane. And he is able to affirm that there’s nothing demonic about the presence, no whiff of Hell surrounding either it or Jason.

Finally, reluctantly, Bruce calls in John Constantine, at Blood’s suggestion. His number isn’t so much the last one in Bruce’s old-fashioned rolodex so much as its buried somewhere on the Manor grounds, locked in a puzzle box that affords Bruce countless opportunities to turn back or try something else before he finally gets it open and pulls out the card with his contact info and the header: IF YOU ABSOLUTELY MUST USE IN CASE OF EMERGENCY WITH ALL OTHER CONCEIVABLE OPTIONS HAVING PREVIOUSLY BEEN EXHAUSTED PRIOR TO THIS - HERE I GUESS.

Okay, maaaaaaaaybe I’m embellishing a little bit on that one there. But whatever.

And its not like Constantine is the actual last of the last he contacts here. For instance, even more than he’d like to not have to bring in John, he’d really rather not call Raven either, though he knows of her as well of course.

In this reality, the Titans remain more distant from the Justice League and other heroes. They took Dick’s side when Bruce kicked him out, closing ranks, not to mention Roy’s falling out with Ollie resulting in a similar sentiment from them. And Dick and Roy’s diverged paths here similarly result in them paralleling each other in not reconciling with their fathers - they reaffirm to each other that whatever ‘their part’ in their disputes were, they deserved better than how Bruce and Ollie handled those situations, and they’re not going to let each other settle for being afforded less than the respect and care they deserve.

So to be clear, its not that even after a couple years, Dick is still actively avoiding Bruce - Bruce’s failure to extend the hand first, make the first attempt at reconciliation and conveying that he still wants and needs Dick in his life, his family...that’s still the underlying issue, and the real change in family dynamics comes from Dick not caving and returning to a similar status quo to what he left, without Bruce ever actually addressing his own behavior and mistakes in driving Dick away without making any real attempt to get him to stay, or to follow him, or to ask him to come home.

As for the rest of the Titans, Wally still became the Flash here when Barry died, but he felt no real need to ‘move up’ to the Justice League, and with all of the rest of the original Titans remaining a cohesive family unit here, he chose to stay with them when not patrolling Central City. And when Kyle Rayner became the last Green Lantern and joined the Titans as in canon, the team was closer, more family than the line-up he was briefly a part of in canon, and so he remained with them as well.

So the end result is in this universe, for the end of their teens and the early years of their twenties, the Titans go their own way, and they and the JLA keep to their respective ‘corners’ as it were. Meanwhile Tim’s generation remains known as Young Justice.

So back to the Batfam’s problem and Jason’s unknown pursuer. Constantine’s not much more help than Jason Blood was. After all, demons are his specialty too, just in different ways than they are Jason Blood’s. and the other magic he knows isn’t of a sort they need here either.

He is however, able to offer one bit of advice - what they need, John says, is a magician who specializes in the otherworldly, not just the netherworlds. There are more things in Heaven and Hell than well...just Heaven and Hell. Plenty of other worlds, plenty of other dimensions....the kinds of places something like this creature could have come from. What they need is a planewalker. And luckily for them, Constantine just so happens to know the name of a planewalker who could help them.

Dick Grayson.

And of course the estranged eldest still comes when he’s called, because its never that he didn’t care, its just that he wanted, needed to be called. Even when tragedy struck the family, it wasn’t that he didn’t want to return and be a comfort to them, its just that he wasn’t sure his presence would be a comfort.

(Though it takes numerous arguments while working on the mystery of Jason’s hunter, like, before this gets even brought up, let alone clarified. All parties involved are of course world-class experts at the cold shoulder, not to mention avoidance tactics and evasive maneuvers of all types.)

And as Jason and his other siblings get to know their mysterious oldest brother, the much alluded to but rarely spoken of first son, the Zitka in the room, the shadow they’ve all always been aware of but never known much about - other than that he had a definite Talent with a capital T for getting under their father’s skin, and while they might be closer with Bruce in this reality, Bruce is still Bruce and that’s still a Talent they all can respect and appreciate - well.

It would be a mistake, Jason realizes, to assume that just because Dick left, that meant that he didn’t keep informed on what he left behind. He has many many means at his disposal now, for getting information when he wants it.

And it would be a mistake to assume that just because they didn’t see him care, that actually meant that Dick didn’t care. He didn’t have to actually meet Jason to feel at least a connection to the second son to be raised by the same father, the second person to wear his colors, bear his mantle, fight at Bruce’s side. He didn’t even have to know him, to grieve that now he’d never get the chance, when Jason died. To be outraged at the Joker, on his behalf.

And its not like Dick didn’t have plenty of other reasons to hate the Joker as well - he was the reason he was fired, the reason he and Bruce were estranged, the catalyst of so much of his family’s misfortune.

And no one did ever find a trace of the Joker after Ethiopia.

Almost like he’d dropped off the face of the Earth.

Vanished from it entirely.

Of course, while Dick Grayson might be estranged from his father, he still abides by the code Bruce instilled in him at an early age. He doesn’t kill.

But there are worse things than death, some might say.

Especially for a man like a Joker, because he does have one thing he truly cares about: landing a punchline. Its why everyone assumes he was killed by some other enemy after Ethiopia....the Joker can never go long without making a reappearance. He needs an audience too badly to ever stay hidden for long.

After all, what is a joke, if there’s no one to hear it?

And then as well, the family never did figure out how Jason ended up in Leslie’s clinic, after he crawled out of his grave.

How someone found him so quickly, and knew the best place to take him. However Jason ended up resurrected, it surely had to involve considerable power of some sort, supernatural energies that surely had to attract some attention....

at least from someone attuned to the supernatural, who knew how to see such things....

and had reason to occasionally visit the Wayne family cemetery.

Yes, even in this vastly different universe, there’s still a way, still time to reunite a family even this fractured. When you’re a planewalker like Dick Grayson, there’s no road beyond your reach, its just a matter of finding the right one.

And just because it takes time to find the road that finally leads home....that doesn’t mean its not out there.

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rydertm · 5 years

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𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐫𝐲𝐝𝐞𝐫.

( wolfgang novogratz, cis male ) hey ! have you seen RYDER MONROE around ? HE works as a RENTALS TECHNICIAN at big bear resort, but they must be off their shift by now. well, if you do see them can you let me know ? they’re 22 years old & they’ve been working here for A FEW WEEKS. they tend to be CAREFREE & FUN-LOVING, but can also be IRRESPONSIBLE & EVASIVE. the other employees have labeled them THE PETER PAN. thanks a lot ! ( mismatched socks and old beat up converse, a mischievous dimpled smile, soft guitar strums at 3am, illegible scribbles in a worn out notebook, rowdy cheers heard overtop of loud party music ).

ya, idk man. i have no self-control & this is a long, rambley mess. soooo hERE is aylie’s older twin brother ( by five minutes ), ryder. gimme a like ig, but imma be hitting everyone up to plot anyways cuz i luv u all.

name : ryder austin monroe if u kno, u kno age : twenty-two gender : cis male sexuality : heterosexual hometown : london, england job : rentals technician ( subject to change )

born to a famous retired musician from london and a colorado native, ryder is the older twin of aylie ( by five minutes and he’ll never let her forget it ). they share an older brother, cole, making him the middle child.

middle child syndrome was very much so the case with ryder. between his siblings, he was always the troublemaker and it’s been this way since they were young. he could always be found up to no good ━ anything from hanging off the curtains to trying to ship himself off to egypt in a cardboard box.

his dad got him into music to teach him how to focus and as a means to keep him busy. ryder took to it like fish to water, and showed some promising talent in writing and playing music. he wrote his first song when he was five and although it was pretty much just nonsense about cheerios, he somehow managed to recycle some of the lyrics into a proper song years later.

as a kid, ryder was also put into different sports to channel all of his energy somewhere. football ( or soccer for the ‘muricans ) was the sport that he kept up with up until he finished school, and of course, snowboarding. he’s always been ridiculously competitive, especially with his siblings, and likes to tease aylie that he’s the superior snowboarder in the family.

he had just been accepted to berklee college in the US when his mom got into a car accident and passed away. her death really shook his family to the core, yet ryder had played it off like he was completely unaffected by it, even cracking jokes at the funeral.

that was just who ryder was. he never took anything seriously, even when he should, and life was just one big party. he always ran away at the first sign of a problem or responsibility, and that was exactly what he did after his mom’s funeral. he packed up what he could and left home that very night, only leaving his family a half-assed note on the back of the funeral program.

he spent the summer traveling on his own, working odd jobs and playing whatever gigs he could get. deferring his acceptance to berklee for a year, later turned into dropping out altogether when he decided to just focus on his music.

the whole music thing worked out for him after he put together a band while in amsterdam. they toured around different cities playing small gigs, and when he wasn’t touring, he was working with upcoming artists or traveling on his own. ryder was never in one place for long and his family never knew when he’d visit.

it was only a couple years ago that he began visiting big bear again, mostly to visit his sister and to snowboard. though he also picked up the odd job of working at the rentals shack, where he spends most of his shift messing around on his guitar.

ryder’s always been the biggest little shit around. he could be pretty rowdy and immature sometimes, but it’s all in the name of fun. very much an act before you think type and has landed himself in some hot water because of it. with absolutely zero impulse control, he’s a bit of a fighter and a lover ( will fight you, but then buy you a beer after ), but he’s got a good heart and tries to be cool with everyone.

FUN FACTS.

his music is a bit of a cross between rex orange county and lauv.

really bad with quotes. will quote ghandi even though 9.9/10 times, ghandi did not in fact say it.

obsessed with the fast and furious movies. frequently wishes he was brian o’connor. sometimes thinks he is brian o’connor. will absolutely be the first in line to watch the 24th movie and will also frequently quote the movies.

ironically enough, he’s a bad driver. like, really bad. took him nine tries to get his license. just picture cher horowitz’s driving tbh.

ryder’s instagram is private because of his ~* super famous celeb *~ dad, but he also lets just about anyone follow him so that... kind of defeats the purpose. he posts a lot of artsy ( in his opinion ) pics, but also random stuff like a zoomed in shot of grease on a pizza slice and cUtE candids, complete with quotes ( said by the wrong people ) as captions. #influencer

always down for a good prank war. famously known for being the guy that broke in and stole the jonas brothers’ wardrobe change right before they had to get back on stage.

loves a good romance or rom-com movie. can probably quote from the classics. he just quotes a lot of shit i guess?? also a big taylor swift stan. he said fuck your gender norms, bro!

WANTED CONNECTIONS. some generic wcs cuz i’m boring IDK. obvy, i’m always open to brainstorming other ideas too!

BROT3 ━ trio of your dreams bish. every bro needs his bros. his partners in crime, ride or dies, BFFLs, bro-mates, whatever you wanna call it. can either encourage or discourage ryder’s ~*~brilliant~*~ ideas, but either way, they’re always along for the ride. taken by leo takanashi & kieran rhodes

CHILDHOOD ( BEST ) FRIEND ━ grew up together and they’re basically each other’s number one since day one. probably vacationed together in big bear and that was how they met.

MOM FRIEND ━ because ryder is a dumb child and needs someone looking out for him, even if he only listens like 10% of the time. just a scary mama bear / boss bitch who he is maybe a lil scared of. taken by divine burakgazi

CONFIDANT ━ not saying ryder talks about his ~* feelings *~ often, but the odd chance that he does, it’s probably with y/m. they could just lend an ear, or be someone he turns to for advice too. taken by callie macdermot

GOOD INFLUENCE ━ the angel on ryder’s shoulder basically. the voice of reason who will talk him out of getting into dumb shenanigans where he’ll a) hurt himself, b) get into trouble, or c) all of the above.

BAD INFLUENCE ━ and ofc, the devil on ryder’s shoulder. the person who encourages all of his bad ideas. probably even contributes a fair share of them. taken by callie macdermot

( EX ) FLING / FWB / HOOK-UP ━ someone ( or multiple someones ) ryder often hooked up with whenever he’s in big bear. maybe he genuinely liked her ( and she liked him back? ), but he’s just too emotionally immature and flighty to be a good boyfriend.

EX-GF ━ dated for a few months before she dumped him because he was a crappy boyfriend. it could have ended on good, bad, awkward, whatever terms. taken by ingrid kelly

SOFT SPOT ━ maybe they dated, maybe they almost dated, maybe it was on/off. whatever the case, ryder just can’t seem to shake y/m. he cares a lot for her ( possibly some strong lovey feelings were involved ) and will always be there for her no matter what. y/m could feel the same way, or just be leading him on. think peter kavinsky & gen sdlkgjdkg don’t come at me. taken by divine burakgazi

FAVOURITE ANNOYANCE ━ ryder loves to annoy y/m and get on their nerves just for the hell of it ( maybe he has a tiny crush ). will do just about anything to get a rise out of y/m and to rile them up.

ENEMIES / RIVALS ━ for whatever reason, they just never clicked and/or rubbed each other the wrong way. every time they’re in the same room together, it’s big yikes and lots of tension.

#bigbearintro #intro. ( ryder monroe. )#death tw #car accident tw

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ink-beneath-her-fingernails · 4 years

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AtLA Rewatch Notes 1x01

so I was taking notes while rewatching yesterday and I needed somewhere to dump them so,,

heads up I’m probably gonna do this for the full series

also: potential spoilers for full series (key word here is rewatch, folks)

also this has little to no coherency and is essentially just a stream of consciousness and stray thoughts

ngl i still love this intro

THEY’RE JUST!! BABIES

this art style has just always instantly grabbed me

I know ppl have talked about this before already but sETTING UP THEIR ENTIRE ARCS IN THE FIRST LIKE SIXTY SECONDS POST INTRO

does anyone else wonder who Hakoda’s dad was since a grandfather was never mentioned and Kanna didn’t marry Pakku or

catch Katara yelling instructions but not trying to help at all?? she grows honey

catch Sokka being a sexist jerk?? he grows honey

YES KATARA GO OFF

ok but Katara’s growth from her anger causing such extreme, large, accidental incidents as splitting a wholeass glacier down the middle to causing extremely intentional, purposeful, small and complex things like stopping all the rain in the area in its tracks and bloodbending someone to their knees

like,, we been knew but they can all be absolutely terrifying if they want to

how many times do you think Zuko traveled through the South Pole and the world?? I know Iroh could just be using an expression and not be serious when he says ‘we’ve been down this road before’ but the Gaang did pretty much travel the entire world over in less than a year, and Zuko’s been searching for three??

no one ever taught Aang about ‘stranger danger’ huh

Sokka going from freaking out when Appa sneezes on him and frantically trying to wipe it off on the ground vs. Sokka climbing into Appa’s mouth and just kinda chillin when he’s drooled out alsldfkdskj

“midnight sun madness” makes me think,,, do y’all think Katara and Sokka at some point realized that most other places in the world have both day and night on the regular throughout the whole year and were like. what.

like I mean yeah they probably knew but it’s a lot different knowing and actually experiencing y’know??

like when they see Omashu they’re like “they have buildings here that don’t melt??” and like. yeah they probably already knew that those were a thing but it’s such a new thing for them

(also off topic but that line didn’t really make sense bc yeah Omashu was one of the first cities/villages/towns they went to w people living in it with buildings that didn’t melt but it wasn’t the first? that was Kyoshi Island man)

also do you think they got to the North Pole and were like. It’s not supposed to be this sunny/dark out at this time of year?? What hemisphere are y’all livin in lmao

“...oh wait”

is there even proof that the atla world isn’t flat

Aang acting vs. Aang lying

I mean ngl he kinda sucks at both but there’s still a significant difference in skill level

like when he took on that role to get into Omashu vs. when he tried to convince Katara he didn’t know what happened to the avatar

but I mean he’s kind of right when he says “i didn’t know him”?? Like he never got the opportunity to learn what that role meant for him or really get to know himself very well because he is just twelve yo

also yes Aang has nightmares love the reminders that this bby is terrified and anxious and overwhelmed by the whole situation even before he becomes traumatized and gets all his Big Responsibilities isn’t that fun

do y’all ever think about what happened to the little kids in their village?? no?? just me? ok

also when Gran-gran essentially gives her approval to go to the North Pole she knew what they were getting into for when they got there didn’t she? she knows what their customs are like and that there’s a high chance they’re going to run into Pakku, doesn’t she? so either she’s hoping that they’ve made some progress (and maybe they have, it’s just still not far enough) in the time that she’s been gone, or she’s counting on Katara putting them in their place and earning their respect and Sokka backing her up

and in that case

we stan tbh

KATARA RECOGNIZING THAT BENDERS OF DIFFERENT ELEMENTS CAN LEARN A LOT FROM EACH OTHER EVEN BEFORE WE LEARN THAT LESSON FROM IROH

I love how easily and subtly they’re fleshing out the magic system in the very first ep w Iroh training Zuko and Aang explaining his glider to the kids

I love the idea of penguin sledding but it,, seems lowkey terrifying and unethical

“I haven’t done this since i was a kid” BABY NO

AANG IS RIGHT YOU STILL ARE A KID

“...and a very bad memory for my people” like I know this seems like such a throwaway line and doesn’t seem like much especially w all the other fire navy ship content but this is lowkey great setup for Hama’s memories… like nobody would want to remember that or talk about it so it makes sense that they never really discuss it until then but it really was horrible and when you see Hama’s story just that little thing in the back of your mind clicks and with just this one little scene so much earlier that most of us probably forget about it’s less holy shit plot twist what a surprise didn’t see that coming and more kind of like just a very sobering, horrible ...oh. and I think that that carries a lot more weight.

“If you wanna be a bender, you have to let go of fear” but just,, how well that sets up his dilemma with firebending and Katara breaking him out of that... he taught her that lesson first, and then she made sure he remembered it. also,,, The Guru foreshadowing?? (nah I’m probably just looking too far into it but whatever)

ok wait but she said “since Gran-gran was a little girl” so is she just kind of exaggerating or did Kanna move there post-raids and it really was technically since before she got there?

in which case do you think that’s part of why she didn’t think Pakku would follow her there, bc there were no benders anymore, or only a couple? And do you think that’s part of the reason Pakku didn’t? Like it seems like they haven’t had much contact with them at all, maybe they had no idea how bad it was at all and kind of assumed at the time that, why would she go to their sister tribe when it’s constantly under attack and basically on the verge of decimation? There are so many other places she could’ve gone, and he would’ve had no idea which one she would’ve chosen, because why would she go to both the most obvious choice and the least logical option? (Which also brings up the question of would/did he try to follow/look for her at all??) ((I’m not tryna make excuses for him at all but I like thinking about the thought processes and logic))

#atla rewatch #yap yap #atla #avatar the last airbender #1x01

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kinetic-elaboration · 4 years

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May 21: The 100 2x11 Coup De Grace

It’s late, my computer’s more tired than I am (and hardcore hates me and very well may decide to eat this entire post who even knows), and this is probably a bad idea but I’m gonna do it anyway.

Or at least start.

Another episode, or partial episode, of The 100.

This opening torture sequence makes me so uncomfortable. Which like I get is the point but tbh I’m just not into ‘look how unflinching we are at the realities of Bad Stuff.’ Especially when my tired computer is skipping and the sequence becomes, like...trippy. Trippier.

This is probably a super bad idea because my computer literally cannot handle video lol. I am going to restart it.

It’s actually kind of nuts that Monty’s been missing for 2 days and Harper even longer and Jasper and Maya are like ‘this is weird and upsetting but I guess we’ll find them somewhere!!’ Well, Maya more than Jasper. Mount Weather isn’t THAT big.

“You have to look like nothing’s wrong. Like everything’s okay” is so sad. I think it’s situations like that that make S2 my favorite, just b/c I’m a sucker for scenarios of enclosed tension. Like, forget war and blah blah blah, I want this, like... secretive, spying, being spied upon, uncertainty. That’s the real horror in a satisfying way.

Gosh his haircut is awful though.

When does Clarke learn to ride a horse?

I have literally no idea what’s happening bc I rewatch these eps so infrequently.

Clarke just got “yes ma’amed.” I find that semi-hilarious, not because she’s 18 but because you knew Grounders used words like “ma’am.”

I love Clarke’s single-mindedness. “We can’t stop for water. We can’t stop for anything. We’re on a mission. And Bellamy might have called!” AWWNH!Clarke is so OOC lol but she has a different background okay?

I’m not really in the mood to trust Abby about anything. Does she... actually make good decisions? I feel like you’d have to track her through all of the seasons but I am inclined to say...perhaps......not.

So the Mountain Men tried to assassinate Clarke and Lexa. Completely forgot about that.

The introduction of Echo. I just... I just have no opinions on her, I guess. Literally my only opinion is that she should have been the Ice Queen and, not being the Ice Queen, she’s just not interesting to me. I will say, she couldn’t have been in Mount Weather long if she knew who the Sky People are, as they’ve only been on the ground about a month. But also...why does she hate them? They were only fighting with Trikru, and Azgeda territory isn’t even, like, in the vicinity.

I love Dante but he has some major balls looking Jasper in the face and saying he doesn’t know where his friends are. I mean, he doesn’t, because Cage stole them, but how do you just MISPLACE people in a 600,000 square foot bunker? Where COULD they go?

I’m sure I’ve said this before but as someone who went to a high school with a uniform I find it HIGHLY unrealistic that all these teenage boys tuck in their shirts and keep them tucked in all the time without exceptions.

Jasper being protective of Monty <3<3<3.

So it was MW that told them there were no Ark survivors. Did I know that? Did I forget that? Not that it matters as my Clarke/Maya fic is done lol.

Dante is the most Hilarious and Wonderful of all of the attempted father figures on this show I said what I said--they’re all terrible but at least he bring the Weird Father Figure energy to 11. I’ll lie to you but it’s to protect you, call you son (always weird), super good at self-defense--ah-ha! sword at at your neck!

“This is not a toy.” If the sword is in MW it’s probably Important and Famous.

IMO and I completely stand by this assessment, it’s harder for Jasper to be brave than it is for other people, and he was really brave, and it worked, and I’m proud of him.

I realize this is also a problem with the literal world but we actually do know that torture isn’t effective so Indra being all upset that she’s not allowed to torture Emerson is just so....exhausting to me. Like Clarke isn’t suggesting not torturing him bc she loves the high ground and must walk it at all times. She’s suggesting not torturing him bc the last time she tortured someone, she got 0 good information. And even though neither of them know it, it was the shit information garnered from torture that led Finn to TonDC! Also if they had let Emerson die, the Grounder would have also still died--it’s not that they chose to use resources on one and not the other. They had two different types of wounds. I mean I guess if they’d brought them in faster without patching up Emerson in the field? That’s probably what she meant. However the Grounder Death Cult and their complete willingness to declare their fight over at the merest papercut makes me again less sympathetic to this point of view.

I’d literally already forgotten that someone tried to assassinate Clarke like an hour earlier. Abby doesn’t need to be concerned about that, lol, Clarke’s used to it!

Okay first I did have a longstanding headcanon that Echo had a crush on Bellamy going way back--I mean that’s practically canon, yeah?--but now I’m super convinced because in their second scene together, he sacrifices himself for her using information she gave him (that MW takes the loud/strong looking ones), even though she greeted him by spitting in his face, and actually, that was very heroic and selfless of him. I’d fall in love too.

Second, I thought she had no tattoos because she’s a spy or w/e but I CLEARLY see tattoos on her legs. And they are not white either.

I don’t think I ever realized that Maya found Bellamy because she was in the infirmary/harvest chamber looking for Harper and Monty. I do not have a good memory for each scene leading into the next. AND she think she’s found them when she sees how fast the random patient’s treatment is working, because that has to be a Sky Person and she would never guess Bellamy.

They really do just talk about their little torture machine casually all the time. “I need to go over the treatment schedule so I know how many cages to clear.”

Hey so like how did Maya get in if she’s not cleared for this facility?

What a wonderful time to remember yet again that if Bellamy knows who Maya is from her reference to Jasper, Clarke, who saw Maya and Jasper flirt like ONE TIME, must have told him about them, which is cute and funny all at once.

Maya: “I wanted to see what was so special about him, but... he’s dead.” Bellamy: Ah yes! I’m dead! * immediately closes his eyes * Why am I laughing so hard at this?

Good thing they take dead bodies down slowly instead of just thunking them on their heads.

Maya, Bellamy, and Echo v. Lovejoy is a pretty satisfying fight. Also, what did Clarke just say about Emerson talking b/c they saved his life? Echo helps Bellamy because he saved her life. Sometimes you get more flies with honey.

I tend to forget that Bellamy literally strangled this guy with his bare hands. Like it was self-defense to some degree, in that this had to be a fight to the death, but it was also just pure fucking rage. Like he said, he (like Clarke for a while) wants to kill everyone in the Mountain.

And then he thanks Echo and asks Maya if she’s all right. A True Catch. Tbh I could see something forming out of Echo and Bellamy here, but not after some of the later twists and turns in the later narrative.

Honesty, I’ve always loved Maya but... let’s just appreciate her, shall we? That was horrific, seeing someone she knew killed in front of her--and helping, because she knew he was on the wrong side, even though that was the same side she’d been on her whole life. Is she completely in the moment, or is she already seeing that there’s no way out for her here? That the people they’ve brought into the Mountain are really going to destroy it?

Bellamy coming out in Lovejoy’s clothes looks like a kid trying on new clothes at the mall before the new school year. Except he’s just dumped a body down a trash chute.

Like “I’ll come back for you, I promise”--I can see a basis for a ship in that. So far it is 100% built on how Echo would have to be dumb not to fall in love with Bellamy but still.

This Maya and Bellamy scene is amazing. I love every aspect of it.

Lemme just...watch that Jonty hug on repeat.

Honestly they even ended the scene with them walking out the door together even though there’s no way anyone could have moved Harper that fast and there’s also no indication of who moved her or how. Guess she’s...not that important...?? LOL??

Kane has only two modes: fairly ineffectual bastard or utterly ineffectual neo-hippie. “You’re not grasping the situation! We’re nice! Be nice to us!” I probably shouldn’t mock him bc he is me lol, I also would not know what else to say to Emerson other than ‘please????’ but still. Common sense and peace and love would be great but those aren’t shared values I guess.

And then he goes 180 to ‘let’s torture him then?’

What you should be doing is good cop bad cop. Or like, wearing him down with repeated questioning? I heard that’s an effective interrogation technique, although here Emerson has a certain advantage of time and that his interrogators are way more easily annoyed than he is easily worn down or confused.

Anyway I remember now. Clarke ultimately solves this problem with that ultimate BDE moment, sending him with a message and 6 hours of oxygen. She really is just the Smartest.

At least Kane acknowledges that the Chancellorship is a completely random title since Abby literally just kinda stole it? Like Jaha is the rightful Chancellor and Kane is the second-most-rightful Chancellor and she’s just sorta...there? But it also doesn’t matter because as established, Clarke is the one actually in charge.

This Bellamy and Maya elevator scene is also the kind of tension that I like. Is Bellamy...legitimately considering shooting him? In the elevator? That would end badly lol. He has this idea to just start randomly offing people in public/enclosed places, while Lexa is all like ‘we can’t save TonDC bc it would blow Bellamy’s cover!’ like the irony.

I wonder if the MW classes are like...to some end, like, mandatory schooling that must be completed, or if they’re just like for funsies? I think the second, partially because it’s an “Expressionist class” which doesn’t seem like the Three Rs and partially because this dude doesn’t seem upset that Maya didn’t show, like he’s just vaguely wondering where she was.

“We’ve accomplished great things” in that tone is like the MOST American thing I have ever heard. (I can say this because I’m American.)

“We’ve been bleeding people to stay alive for generations. That’s our legacy” is true in the sense that Dante’s line in the sane is...truly in the sand. But also has it been ‘generations’? I’m not sure you understand how time works, show-as-a-whole. I mean maybe this is technically true? They probably discovered Grounders like....50 years ago? Which is sort of “generations.” But when you say it like that it makes it sound way longer.

You wanna root for Dante over Cage because he’s on the side of our heroes but in terms of like bitter logic Cage has the advantage. What they’ve already done and what Dante has managed to rationalize to himself is bad enough. They’re already Doing Bad Things, doing yet more bad things isn’t going to bother anyone. Especially when these extra bad things (1) come out to the same--torturing/killing people and (2) lead them to a permanent home on the ground.

I wonder if Dante/MW justified what they did to Grounders with stories of them being like...irradiated mutants. Like literally inhuman. So it ‘doesn’t count.’ I mean objectively they’re wrong of course but I mean in their heads. And then for Dante the line is so obvious between killing radiation casualties and killing just normal humans like themselves, whereas for Cage--who sees the Grounders more because of Cerberus, and knows they don’t look that much different, that they are also just people underneath the masks and big clothes--sees no difference between the Grounders and the Sky People, and if he’s already sullied himself by using one set, he can continue sullying himself, for a greater cause, by using the other set. It’s just a question of which story you’re telling yourself and how much you’re willing to lie.

The plotting of this season is, overall, very good. Especially in the second half.

I think Clarke’s default mode when stressed is order giving. It’s part of the control thing. She’s okay if she has everything under control, and if she knows everything, and when she has all that knowledge and control it just...spills out of her, directing people with what they need to do and where they need to go.

Whereas Raven’s in full ‘falling out of love with Clarke’ mode.

Also I think Clarke is very quick to comfort people and she is genuine in this but because she ALSO has her agenda and her strident tone and her controlled demeanor, it can look like manipulation. Or at least, if I were her friend, I would always wonder if she really cared or if she just wanted me to calm down so my emotions weren’t in the way of The Plan.

My 15 second Raven, Clarke, and Octavia scene. Lemme just rewatch this a bunch of times too.

“Jackson found genetic marker anomalies that can only come from someone born on the Ark.” Remember when people were theorizing that this was a big deal in some way? The Arkers were genetically modified to withstand space? I remember that being a theory. Anyway in retrospect, it’s just a Plot Device. Possibly a Pseudo-Science Plot Device I would not know.

Never mind. “We were genetically engineered. They weren’t.” So it is in fact canon, just meaningless canon. HOW IS THIS SOME RANDOM THROWAWAY LINE?

Clarke’s feral moments are the best.

It’s cute how Abby continues to think Clarke isn’t in charge.

Having Bell run into Lovejoy’s son is cheap but effective. I still remember that scene and I can really feel the full effect on him through Bob’s acting and the music. I also always remember that line “What did you expect you’d find here?” Because the answer is obviously ‘monsters.’ They had their simple narrative too: about how MW were the bad guys and thus they could destroy them all and it would be vengeful and feel good. But it’s more complicated than that: everyone in the Mountain is complicit in terrors. But many of them passively so. Bellamy was ready to kill all of them, and so was Clarke, but he changes his mind based on this encounter, tells her about it over the radio, and makes HER change her mind and in fact change her entire plan, by the time she explains it in 2x15.

And it’s sad for Maya too because Bellamy is being aided by her but she is still a Mountain Person. It’s easy to say ‘she’s an exception, she’s Jasper’s friend, she’s our friend.’ But she’s done everything he hates the Mountain for. If the whole Mountain is evil, she’s evil. And to the extent you can’t be both pro-MW and pro-Sky People, she’s put in this impossible position of choosing sides, or trying to switch sides abruptly. Bellamy sees that, and it’s like yet one more additional layer to his guilt over what he did, because he sees a new angle to how it affected Maya, without whom he’d be dead.

Jonty the leader couple. And Jasper’s face when Monty says “We’re not safe here.”

S2 is my favorite bc of plotting like this episode: just as the 47 are about to leave, Cage stages his coup. Just as Bellamy is about to see his friends, the doors lock and they’re trapped. The moment when Jasper sees Bellamy--with absolutely no reason to believe this could even be possible. In trying to plan fics that use S2 I tend to get confused about the plot bc it goes back and forth and circles around a lot, but in actually watching it, it’s quite effective, and I think part of the circling confusion is just bc there are so many moving parts, people need to be in the right places at the right times, meet and separate at the right moments, so it can read awkwardly in summary. But they did a good job ultimately, I think.

Another thing about S2 generally is that even though it’s much more expansive than S1 in terms of locations and number of characters and groups of characters, ultimately almost everything revolves around one story (except for the CoL setup stuff), and 2 main locations that have meaning, with various points in between. So it is more concise and more centralized and more meaningful than later seasons, which become increasingly spread out and disjointed. Or so I try to explain to myself at 1am.

Yaaaay emotional Princess Mechanic and then Bravenlarke. I live for these moments when characters are just like...emotional together.

I don’t know if I find it realistic that Clarke would be like ‘it’s over’ so fast but nevertheless I like Raven and Bellamy picking her back up.

Clarke’s relieved face...she’s in love.

Bellamy: I’m fine. Me: He’s a liar!!! But I guess they can talk about his emotions later.

When they’re all together, they’re all better. Like immediately. Even Clarke’s “Raven’s going to help you” with a little look to her, like, this isn’t an order, and Raven nods....

I love that Bellamy took Maya’s expression to mean “It’s not a problem” when it quite obviously meant “It’s a huge problem.” But also Clarke smiled for .05 seconds so I think she knew he was a-lying. This could be a sitcom if it were a totally different show.

Weirdly, I watched part of 2x15 again for a fic I decided not to write atm and...they don’t actually use the Grounders as a Trojan Horse army. Their plan NOT to kill everyone including the kids meant basically that they used their real army as a distraction and then just took the inside-Grounders out the back way. Or that was the idea. Which in retrospect is actually kind of disappointing.

Clarke’s power walk through the hallway with her Grounder Entourage is just so....satisfying. This is the emotional payoff that got me into this show.

Clarke just literally staging a coup against her own mother, using the Grounder force that sees her as a leader, is so.... I feel like I have never appreciated it before this rewatch. I think in the past I found it kind of annoying tbh. But this time I like it a lot more. I like Clarke’s just insane levels of confidence and self-assurance. It is a good look.

First of all the parallel to the Wallaces. But more importantly, I always wanted this big story line of Delinquents Versus Arkers that never fully came as I wanted it, but this is pretty close, where she’s just used to being in charge by now, so you know what, she is. And the only thing she needs to make her desire for power real is muscle, which she has, thanks to Lexa, so she uses it. It’s also very satisfying. And should ultimately have been the groundwork for the delinquents to form a separate community but WHAT DO I KNOW?

All that said, and this isn’t contradictory, but Clarke picks like the MOST inflammatory way to go about her plan. She just does it, she gives no explanation, she stages a showdown at the gate with her own Mom the Chancellor. There is a subtler way of doing this. But I like that she didn’t do subtle because it’s IC for her. It’s IC for her age (who is more Dramatique than a teen?) and it’s IC for her place in her hero’s arc: under L’s influence, she’s becoming big-headed, leaning into the sin of pride, here in the form of “I do can do no wrong,” and by 2x16 in the form of “I can do no right, no one has ever been more wrong than I, no one has ever been more sorrowful than I, let me perform penance in the woods.”

Pride: the most annoying deadly sin.

Anyway.

And Kane, who always bows to the Alpha Female in the room, immediately enables Clarke’s Drama.

“Let our people go and we’ll let you live. It’s just that simple.”

“The Grounder army is bigger than you think and the acid fog can’t hurt them” is honestly a bluff though? Because again, they do not use or even PLAN to use the inside Grounders and they DO plan to take out the acid fog so??? I guess the point, if she was protecting Bellamy, WAS the bluff, WAS the distraction.

I think it was unnecessary to take out his O2 but I guess she’s really just showing off, which again is IC and I guess has the purpose of showing MW she means business and is Not To Be Fucked With. Still, it is important that her message make it to MW since it’s the distraction Bellamy asked for, so it seems like something of a risk to make it hard for the messenger to arrive home safely.

I do like that she gets to use that classic retort “That sounds like a you problem.”

And so.... I meant to go to sleep like 3 hours ago, and my power is flickering. Time for bed. The end, goodnight.

#the 100 #the year 2020 #2020: the 100 s2 #2020: fandom thoughts

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