#but thank uuu that meant so much 2 me

[daintyzerose]

looked at my notes and saw a blog ive been lurking has REBLOGGED MY POST T-T

[twirlyleafs]

“Gold-digger.” (Pt2) (pt1 here)

Max Verstappen x reader

TW: nothing really, angsty? lol

A/N: oml so many of you asked for a part 2 and I’m just so happy you liked the first part!! thank uuu!!

~~~~

To say that you slept bad was an understatement. The moment Daniel let you in to his and Heidi’s hotel room you had started crying and it took almost half an hour before the couple got a sense of what had happened. They’d been at the dinner, hearing Maxs comments, and after piecing it together with what you were telling them now they began to see the bigger picture. Heidi sat with you on the balcony while Daniel made up the couch, insisting you should share the bed with his girlfriend despite your objection.

You hadn’t been able to sleep that much, and it wasn’t because Daniel’s snoring or Heidi’s tossing and turning. Every time you were about to fall asleep you could hear Maxs voice telling you what a shitty girlfriend you were, or you imagined him complaining to his friends that you used up his money like some sort of gold digger. You knew he didn’t think quite like that, and he definitely wouldn’t do any of those things but the knowledge of how he saw your whole relationship had you spiraling.

When Daniel woke, he was always an early riser, he found you already wide awake and anxious. The Aussie knew by the look on your face that you didn’t want to leave the safety of the hotel room alone and he quickly invited you to breakfast. Said and done, Daniel kissed his sleeping girlfriend goodbye before the two of you trudged out in the hallway. It was still early enough that everything was quiet and empty, the only sound being your yawn and Danny typing on his phone.

“You think they have pancakes?” You asked, rubbing your eyes as you walked. He hummed, looking up from his phone with a small smile.

“I hope so. I need some.”

“Yeah.” You scoffed. “Me too. And I need them to practically be swimming in chocolate sauce and-“ You stopped, both talking and walking, when you saw a door open further down the hallway. Daniel walked a few more steps, glancing between Max stepping out of the room and you with an apologetic pout. He must’ve told Max you were coming. Asshole. You met his gaze and he mouthed a sorry, making you shake your head before carefully looking over at the man standing in the doorway. He offered an unsure smile. Daniel grabbed your arm, giving you no choice but to start walking again. When the two of you reached Max he gave you an encouraging squeeze and patted Max on the shoulder before he disappeared down the hallway. You should’ve known you couldn’t trust Daniel.

“Hey.” Max said softly, making you look up at him. You took note of the dark circles under his eyes and judging by the way his face fell he probably noticed how red yours were.

“Hi.”

“You wanna talk?” Max opened the door a bit wider and with a soft nod you snuck past him into the room. You heard him let out a breath of relief and you found yourself being almost grateful that he seemed to be just as nervous as you were. You sunk down on the edge of the bed, watching as Max sat down in one of the chairs. He rubbed his hands over his face before leaning forward, elbows resting on his knees. “How are you feeling?”

You shrugged and pulled your legs up under yourself, casting your gaze down on your fiddling fingers. “Not to good, I guess.” You answered honestly, Max answering with a soft hum, agreeing. Things were quiet for a while before he spoke up.

“Are you still angry?” You would’ve been annoyed at the question if it wasn’t for the genuine sadness in his voice. Instead you shook your head.

“No. Just a bit sad I think.”

“I didn’t mean to make you sad schatje.” His words were almost whispered. You looked up at him through lashes.

“Do you still believe we’re only together because you’re paying me?”

“That was never- that not what I meant.” He practically whined, shaking his head. “I love you.”

“You just don’t think I actually love you? I’m just using you for your money?” Max gave you a defeated look, shaking his head quickly.

“That’s not-“

“It’s exactly what you said Max!” You exclaimed, interrupting him. You felt the tears pressing behind your eyes again. “Do you know how much of a bad fucking girlfriend I feel like knowing that’s how you see us? Me?” His eyes widened slightly but he didn’t have time to say anything before you started talking again. “I mean, I would’ve paid for my own food, my own travels- everything! If I just knew you felt like that I wouldn’t have let you spend your money on me but you always insist and you’ve always told me you wanted to-“

“I do want to.” He intervened quickly.

“But you want to for the wrong reasons. You want to because you think you need to, because you think I want you to.” When your eyes met again you could tell Max didn’t know what to say. His mouth opened and closed again, no words coming out as his gaze faltered to the ground. You reached up and quickly wiped a stray tear, sniffing quietly as the silence settled. It felt like forever before you heard Maxs voice again.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“I don’t either.” You agreed.

“Let’s just-“ Max sighed, scratching the stubble on his cheek. “Let’s just go home, yeah?” When you didn’t answer he leaned forward slightly, trying to get your attention. You slowly raised your gaze to met his, both your eyes portraying to much emotions to process.

“I think I need to be alone for a bit.”

“Yeah, okay. Yeah sure.” He nodded, swallowing harshly. “I’ll- eh, I’ll go down to breakfast and you can order up? If you want to? And then I’ll text you when it’s time to leave for the airport?”

“No, Max.” You shook your head, face contorting in a sad frown. He paused, offering an encouraging nod. He wanted you to tell him what you needed, how to fix this. He was willing to do whatever you wanted. Or at least he thought so. “I think I need to be alone for more than a few hours. Like, I think I should travel alone back home, maybe even back to my parents for a bit. Just to-“

“Wait.” You hated the look of panic mixed with pure hurt that flashed across his face as he sat up a bit straighter. “Wait, no, y/n please.”

“I’m not saying that we’re breaking up Max.” You assured him, watching with a heavy heart as he stood, quickly making his way over to you. The second he sat down next to you on the edge of the bed his hands found yours and you could feel the panic seeping through his fingers.

“I get that I fucked up. I get that. I shouldn’t have said what I said, I didn’t mean it. Liefje please don’t-“

“Max.”

“Please don’t leave me. You know I love you, right?” With every word his voice lost its steadiness and you could practically hear his heart beating out of his chest. “I love you so much-“

“Max.” You interrupted him again, pulling your hand from his grasp to reach up and cup his cheek. “I know, alright? I know. I love you too.” His eyes flickered between yours, unconsciously leaning into your palm.

“Don’t leave.”

With a soft breath you leaned in to press a light kiss against his lips before shuffling closer, letting him wrap his arms around your body. When you placed your head against his chest he tightened his grip, terrified of letting go. The two of you sat like that, just holding each other for what felt forever. You thought back on the past twelve hours. The words that had been said, the insecurities that’d bubbled up. You knew Max never meant to hurt you, you knew that even before you entered his hotel room this morning but the conversation you just had cemented it. The man currently holding you tightly against his chest was the love of your life, no doubt about it, but that didn’t change the fact that all you could think about right now was money. His money, your money, how you could ever let him spend even one euro on you ever again. The thought had your insides churning and that’s why you knew you needed time. Time to process and figure this out before you could come back to him.

“How long?” You snapped out of your thoughts at Maxs voice, so quiet and gentle that you barely caught it at first. When you asked what he meant he let out a breath. “How long do you need? How long til you come back?”

“I don’t know Max. But I’ll come back. I promise.”

~~~~

Ten days. For ten days the only contact between you and Max had been an occasional phone call and a few pictures. He sent you updates on Jimmy and Sassy and you answered with pictures of your parent’s dog, Bongo. Other than that he gave you the space you’d asked for, no matter how much it hurt him not to constantly beg you to come home.

During your time at your parent’s house you’d spent your time just being. Going back to your roots. You hadn’t been brought up traveling the world in private jets or expensive boats and despite loving your life with Max it felt nice to just trudge around your parents backyard in your pajamas, throwing sticks for your dog to fetch. Your father was the most logical person in your life, he’d always been the one you’d turn to when you needed advice and this time it was no different. Your parents both loved Max and they were obviously upset when you came home crying, but after a few days spent talking and reasoning with them you finally saw the situation in a different light. Your dad’s words echoed in your head as you carefully slipped the keys into the door of your apartment, a deep breath leaving your lips when you stepped inside. You were relived to finally be home and you could almost feel yourself buzzing at the thought of seeing Max again. You spoke his name as you walked through the apartment, frowning slightly at the stillness of it. It took you a few minutes before you finally made it to Maxs office, stopping in the doorway when you saw him. He was in his gaming chair, one knee tucked against his chest and chin resting tiredly against it. The computer was turned off, instead his attention was on the toy in his hand as he bounced it slightly for Sassy to play with. You smiled softly at the sight, feeling your chest swell when you heard Max mumble something to the cat.

“Where’s Jimmy?” Despite your words coming out soft and quiet Max flinched, dropping the toy to the ground as he looked up at you. His eyes were wide and lips parted slightly as he took you in, trying to convince himself you were really there.

“You’re home.” He stated and you couldn’t help but let out a breathy laugh, nodding.

“I told you I’d come back, right?” Max just shook his head, rising from the chair. In a few quick strides he reached you, immediately wrapping his arms around your body and pressing you tightly against his chest. Without a thought your arms snaked around his waist, feeling your whole body relax completely for the first time since before all this. You didn’t know exactly what it was that had you suddenly feel your throat closing up, the tears pressing behind your eyes as you turned your face even deeper into his shirt, but you knew they were good tears.

“Fuck.” Maxs voice was shaky, you could tell he was on the verge of crying too, and you squeezed him even tighter. “Fuck I missed you.”

“I missed you too Maxie.” You mumbled against his chest, breathing in his scent. You’d known you’d missed him while at your parents, but somehow you hadn’t expected to be quite this emotional reuniting with him. The two of you held each other for a moment, only separating slightly when Sassy pushed her way between your legs, loud noises leaving her small frame. As you leaned away from Max you chuckled down at the furry creature, softly assuring her that you’d missed her too, before your gaze moved up to your boyfriend. You found him already staring down at you, one hand reluctantly leaving your body to reach up and cup your cheek. When you leaned slightly into his palm you noticed him release a breath, finally a small smile making its way to his face. It disappeared too soon for your liking, a light frown taking its place.

“I’m so sorry.” He began, voice serious.

“Max-“ you sighed, but he shook his head and you pressed your lips together, deciding to let him talk. By the look on his face it seemed like he really needed to get this out.

“I realized a few days ago that I never actually apologized. I wanted to call and tell you straightaway but I didn’t want to disturb, I didn’t want to say it over text either but- baby I’m so sorry.” Max spoke slowly, he needed you to really hear him. “I never should’ve said any of that shit and even though I didn’t mean it like you think I did I should’ve realized how it sounded.” He paused for a second, hand slipping from your face to gently hold yours between your bodies. You nodded encouragingly, gently swiping your thumb across his knuckles as he continued. “For me it has always been sort of obvious that the things I have I’ve gotten because of racing. My dad always said that if I wanted something I had to be the best and I guess that just fucked with my head, fucked with the way I see myself and people around me. I’m used to people wanting something from me and somehow I applied that to you too, despite the fact that I’ve actually never felt like that with you. I fell in love with you because you made everything seem so effortless, like you just needed me and nothing else. You’ve never asked me for anything, even if you could and I’d happily give it to you, and I can’t for my life figure out why I would say what I said. I think it was my own insecurities, my fears, that had me place those thoughts on you and I can’t stress enough how fucking sorry I am for that.” He swallowed hard, bottom lip stuck between his teeth as he waited for you to answer. Your eyes trailed over his face and you contemplated carefully how to respond before eventually speaking up.

“I know you didn’t mean it like- like I thought in the beginning. I realize that now, after some time. I understand your point of view- or maybe I don’t understand it but I accept it. I know you Max, I know the way your mind works and your insecurities. But you also know me and it really hurt me to know that even the thought of me being with you for your money crossed your mind.” His gaze dropped down to your hands at your words, nodding. He was ashamed, you knew he was, and despite knowing he might deserve it you really didn’t want him to. Not anymore. With a soft breath you pulled your hand from his, reaching up to cup both his cheeks. When Max met your gaze again you offered a small smile, thumbs moving over his skin. “We all let stupid thoughts cloud our minds sometimes, that’s human. I’m not holding it against you as long as you promise me you’ll tell me if you ever actually feel like I’m somehow taking advantage of you. Or your money.”

“I promise.” He nodded quickly and you couldn’t help but let out a light laugh. Without another word you reached up on your toes, capturing his lips in a long awaited kiss. Despite the fact that it was supposed to be a short and sweet peck the both of you craved more, having been away from each other for way too long. Max deepened the kiss and it didn’t take long until he hoisted you up in his arms, lips instead attacking your neck and shoulder as he mumbled scattered declarations of love against your skin.

Later that evening the two of you laid curled up in bed, legs tangled together and Maxs head placed securely on your chest. As your fingers combed their way through his hair his drew random shapes against your skin, both of you enjoying the sounds of Jimmy and Sassy’s purring from the other side of the bed.

“I’d love you every time.” Max mumbled suddenly, making you pause for a second before continuing your movement.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I’d find you no matter what, I’d love you in every timeline and every universe. No matter what any of us were doing I’d find a way to be with you.” His words were almost a bit slurred, the sleepiness thick in his voice, but you heard him loud and clear and it made your heart swell.

“I’d find you too Max. Even if you worked at a gas station.”

~

Tagging ppl who asked for pt2 <33 @brod16 @spookystitchery @witchsbitchestime @bingussthirdtoe @itsjustkhaos @tylerstacobell @ironmaiden1313 @bitchreader @sp1rl @marvelfangirl04 @kravitzwhore @darleneslane @amberpanda99

[getonite]

hiiii! seen a couple of people do this, plus i realized i don't appreciate my mutuals as much as i should. and since the year is ending (literally today), i thought i'd appreciate y'all for a lil bit.

→ if the tagging irritated you, i apologize 🙏🏾. if i missed you, lmk, i was 100% half asleep while making this! (this is actually so embarrassing ngl. but i luv yall 🫶🏾)

(🎧 : avian) → @sensivs

starting off with my pookie with a beautiful (horny) brain. im dead fucking serious i have zero idea how we became mutuals (🧍🏾‍♂️). i just remembering talking to you one day, and the we were having full conversations in dms lmaoo. an emoji ring, helios, an unborn baby (??), and multiple fic ideas...now we're at the end of the year. i really appreciate you and all of your chaotic energy, it made me laugh! and all of your prompts are immaculate (🤌🏽). i await the days you post more fics or drabbles so i can support you the way you have me! :) luv u pooks, i def wanna ramble u more about hcs!

→ (i sound like im about to die omg)

(🎧 : snail/seraph) → @flimsyichigo

again, zero fucking idea when we became mutuals (i don't remember shit). we don't talk too often but i be seein you likeing my horrendously down bad and chaotic thoughts...i appreciate you bro (🙏🏾). i love your fluffy blue lock sruff, and your overall vibes are (yes, through the screen) amazing! thank you for dealing with my bullshit.

→ (as i type this, i realize just how many mutuals i have jeez, (half of which i barely talk to but still))

(🎧 : ame) → @pastelclovds

ameeeee, number 1 ive always loved your writing (iterally giggling and kicking my feet as i press the like button). your themes r so fucking gorgeous omg. we don't talk as often, but i love when we do interact. i hope we can more (im just easily embarrassed).

→ (i sound like a teenager leaving a love letter in a locker. omggggg)

(🎧 : ace ) → @acefantasyy

another person who puts up with my horrendously down bad bullshit takes. i applaude you for dealing with my ass lmaoo. but, on another note, i smile when i see you in my notes (no, i didn't originally mean that 2 b a joke). i really appreciate the reply you made when i went on a little break, thank you! i hope you continue to deal me, and i hope we interact more!

→ (i really gotta start talkin 2 yall more)

(🎧 : riri) → @pynkkgeto

we're friends irl. i don't have 2 say shit 4 u (luv uuu 🫶🏾)

(🎧 : rome) → @satocidal

yet another person who delt with my nonsense lol. you're quite busy, so you won't see this for a second. but thank you for being awesome and making me laugh with your naobito jokes. thank for the reply you left when i was the one going on break. hope all goes well for you!

(🎧 : idk ur name TvT) → @infrunamie

i feel so bad omg. but i wanted to appreciate your writing for a sec. whether its a drabble, headcanons, a fic, or just 100 words, your brain is miraculous when you write cuz it always leads to me wanted more. seriously, i love it. i was actually shocked you followed me, literally looked up to your writing ong (🙏🏾). i love it when you show up in my notes even if it's just a like. thank you for your reply when i went on break, trust, all of them got me through those shitty ass exams! ty!

→ (im sure this isn't what my therapist meant by being outgoing but im gunna do ts anyway)

(🎧 : spirit) → @spiritfrvr

literally the best vibes on earth i swear. your blog is like a fluffy hug omg. and (imo), you kinda bring that over to other blogs. i'd really like to talk to you more and ramble about random shit! :)

(🎧 : arlan) → @asuyaka

your drabbles r so cuuutee! i love them so much omg. especially the taking care of suguru one! i was surprised you liked my writing sm, and i love yours the same! i really appreciate the little reply under the break post and the christmas tree! seeing notifs of u makes me smile!

(🎧 : qi) → @yaekiss

i don't think we've been mutuals for too long, but omg we reeally should speak more!! i loved your message on the christmas tree! i love the vibe and look of your blog omg. i hope we can interact more!

(🎧 : juno) → @arlertdarling

hi junooo! ty for the message on my christmas tree, and i agree! we really should interact more! you seem like a realllly cool person, plus im on my fucking knees for your writing, dead serious. hope we can talk more, i hope you have a great 2024!

→ (srsly, y tf do i sound like im moving far away or smth TvT)

(🎧 : najma) → @honeybleed

ilysm ong. number one, we cousins (😔✊🏾; im joking pls help), number two, your theme was downright gorgeous (still is), number three, your writing it delicious. i haven't had too much time lately, buuut, i love how you post content that isn't completely smut (as a smut blog that fails at angst lol). its nice to get a break and see fluffy or angsty stuff in the tags instead of the same repeated material. you know you what you like and you stand firm in what you say (i need 2 b more like u fr), and your overall vibes are amazing! i love seeing your anime takes omg. i hope we can interact more in 2024!

→ (that kinda rhymed...and unrelated, but im listening to the mean girls soundtrack or 4 hours of sleep writing this)

(🎧 : yoru) → @dilfverz

number one, thank you for the messege on my christmas tree. number two, your so cool (😭). i love your themes and your writing, how you interact with ppl and anons is funny lol. literally look up to your writing ngl. i super appreciate your for explaining genshin impact to me, cuz im definitely not playing that damn game lol. your reblogs and likes in my notes make me wanna cry ngl. thank you for being so cool! (🙏🏾)

→ (am i over using emojis? i am so tired omg)

(🎧 : sy) → @wrizzesley

we just became mutuals like a week ago lmaoo. but i love your writing so much. and your themes?!?! (:O). i know damn well that shit is time consuming and exhausting, i applaud you, i could never lol. but anyway, i hope we can interact more in this new year. i think your really cool!

(🎧 : astro? idk im so sorry) → @astroknottt

i love your writing holy fuck. but other than that, i love it when you reblog my stuff! esp with those little comments, they've given me a bunch of motivation. and seeing you write such toe curling shit, that gives me motivation too! hope we can interact some more in the new year!

→ (pls ignore my silent pleas for help in these notes, but my vision is wonky. i promise im going to sleep in a second)

(🎧 : ) → @naee0

your probably locked out of tumblr again lol. but if you see this, thank you for your chaotic energy! and even if it was one sentence, what you sent on thr break post, i really appreciate it! even if you or me aren't on tumblr much, i hope we can interact a bit more! you're pretty cool! and i loved those drabbles. i hope your doing great!

PRODUCER MESSEGE: "i think that was all. again, if i missed you, please lmk. i might have been blind (my eyes prolly look like that squidward meme). but i appreciate all of you! thank you, and pls dont hate me 🙏🏾"

[2xhbergggg]

i was doing this in art earlier AND MY FRIEND ASKED ME IF I WAS DRAWING HUNTER AAA

It's really bad tho :'( and i have spent 2 hours on it already (it's nowhere near done)

and its got too much detail for the type of art I'm meant to be doing

and the neck...

but anywayyy :3 i mostly just wanted to tell u about the toh ref

how are uuu

Woah that looks great so far!! Also I totally get it art takes time so don’t worry. The hand is incredible dude 👏👏

lol I totally get the Hunter reference also I love the crystals :)

I love the drawing dude you should be super proud of yourself :)

I’m doing well thanks for asking. I had a great night out with my friends and slept in super late sleep in haha

How are you?

[starrydeckhand]

1, 3, 14, and 38 please c: <2

heya!!!!! :3

what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?

i feel like the obvious answer is the traumas, and yeah they did shape me in a way, but it kinda feels like cheating lol! rn i'm trying to pinpoint what really made me, me. i think art in general molded me in unthinkable amount of ways, like all the movies, songs and games i've consumed. the next thing would be all the places i've visited with my family when i was young, all the museums, historical sites and foreign countries, they all gave me this sense of wonder and curiosity and wisdom i think. and there's this thing i don't remember, cause maybe it was always there, but ever since i was very little (like 3/4 y/o maybe younger even) i've always had this strong sense of justice. i'd regularly beat up kids in my kindergarten, who bullied my disabled friend and the pattern would repeat in school and in other areas of my life. and nothing got me more joy and in trouble more than this lmaoooo

3. 3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?

OHHHHHHH THIS ONE IS SO HARD!!!!!! literally i've been staring at my letterboxd thinking pondering wondering what to put here, but ig i'll never be fully satisfied with what i pick so here: Speed Racer (there's just so much going on, go watch a trailer rn and you'll see what i mean), Pride and Prejudice and Whisper of the Heart!!

14. what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do?

i've always wanted to do a karaoke night with my friends! i love singing, nothing relaxes me more in the world than singing and it's always meant a lot to me in terms of connecting with people! that's why i love live music, etc!! but i'm scared of damaging my friends eardrums with my horrible voice and i get the stage fright a lot, sadly.

Tho, recently one of my friends from uni enrolled me and a few other folks into karaoke queue at a bar (without telling us about it lol) and i was going to just skip it, but when another of my friends heard my name being called out and realized i was going to chicken out, he just started pushing me towards the stage, the bastard (affectionally)! i ended up singing with all of them and it was so nice C: so maybe i'll try it someday again! but i still got a long way to go me thinks

38. fave song at the moment?

AUUUUUUUUUU so tough!! HMMMM UUU I GOT IT!!!!! Love is Fire by GRLwood is SOOOO fun!!!!!!!

thank you so much for the ask!!!!!!!!! it was a lot of fun and good thinking C: <2

[nick-close]

Buckle up, I’m rambling about how I love this podcast again.

I talk a lot about being unapologetically cringe with this fandom but I feel like it’s actually something I still struggle to achieve- like I overexagerate things to be a joke cuz I don’t wanna be embarrassing, which is something I wanna work on!! It’s just kinda silly lol.. Like, I guess it’s hard to talk about ocs or how much Glenn as a character has changed my life without me thinking I’m being too weird? But really this fandom has meant a lot to me and that’s silly.

Because I wouldn’t be where I am in life without this podcast. I wouldn’t be with my boyfriend of nearly 2 years, I wouldn’t have the same creative push to draw, I probably wouldn’t be this active working on making music- I genuinely wouldn’t be able to grasp who I am today without this silly little podcast. I was listening when I was 15, and I’m 18 now. I was doing dumb roleplays of the s1 teens and now I’m doing dumb roleplays of the s2 teens! Illl always feel a deep connection to Nick Close- But a part of me grew from that teenage dirtbag energy I clung onto, because. While I grew up, Nick Close didn’t. I mean, Nick Foster did, but he’s not the same kid. It’s kinda wild to think about !!

So anywyas, all this to say if I make oc x canon art, animatics, fics, whatever- if I make the dumbest fan content, if I make Mary Sues and self inserts and shove them into scenarios they don’t belong, get a body pillow, commission a plushie, I hope that’s something people don’t mind. We’re all on tumblr so. Lol. Also for the record, please share the ‘cringe’ side of ur interest <3 thank uuu <3!!! I would love to see people’s dndads ocs sm -w-

[butchdykekondraki]

EMPIRE HI!!! happy valentine's day!!! idk what time it is where you are but its still the 14th here so it counts lol. we meant to make you an actual vlanetine bc youre so cool and mean a lot to us!! but we didnt get around to it!!! we r sorry!!! but we love you a lot!!!!! (also scar told me to say hi to roe and that he loves them a lot!!) you guys are the best thank u for being in our life <33

SLEEPYYYYY SLEEEPYYYY GRIAAAANN ALLISTAIRRRRRRR WE WILL FUCKING SOBBBB :((( /VVVPOS WA. YOU MEAN SO MUCH 2 US THANK U SO SO MUCH 4 BEING IN OUR LIFE WE LOVE UUU :(((( /VVVPOS

[saintobio]

So I read the tw/ depression ask from an anon that got depressed after reading chapter 8 and I'm sorry Ai, I have to rant about this.

I honestly dk why anon think its appropriate to send this ask, its your own responsibility to take care of your own mental health so if you're not in a good head space to read HEAVY ANGST fic, then don't read it, plain and simple.

Telling the AUTHOR to tone down the angst is just ridiculous. 1) Its her work, she do what she wants. 2) The series is labelled as heavy angst for a reason. As much as I break to see Y/N suffer, I would never wish anything that happened in the past chapters to be different because that's what the series is meant to be.

I honestly don't know how you tolerate this Ai, the nerves of some of these anons to even ask this just blew my mind when you're already so kind enough to take your time off your busy schedule to answer all our asks.

hey love thank uuu for speaking up, i’m gonna be 100% honest i’ve received a shit ton of asks saying the last chapter triggered their anxiety/depression/panic attacks and as much as i’d like to apologise, i also feel like i’m being unfairly held accountable for what the series has made them feel (?) 😭 like, i made it very clear that this is heavy angst and i don’t bullshit my angst. it’s h e a v y. i didn’t label this series heavy angst for clickbait lmao. but i get that what they’re maybe trying to express is the fact that i was able to elicit those intense emotions through my writing which i guess is a compliment but at the same time i feel like being guilt tripped when ppl tell me they felt sick/depressed and that it’s affecting their mental health.

for their sake, if they cannot handle the themes, i honestly would be happy if they can stop reading the series unless they’re actually ready 😔

edited: no i don’t mean the ones who simply say “oh this chapter made me shake” i don’t mind those! there are just some asks that specifically ‘blame me’ that i triggered their anxiety bc of the last chapter.

[writer-and-artist27]

[Image Description: Two screenshots from Fate/Grand Order, showing in order, (1) The Bond Level Up screen for Archer Robin Hood, where his Bond Level has gone up from 10 to 11 and the game's reward of 30 Saint Quartz; and (2) the Bond Level Limit Released screen for Robin Hood, showing his Bond Level Limit having increased from 11 to 12. End Description.]

Well. Back in May, Big Robin reached Bond 10. And now in my birthday month of September, he's officially my first Bond 11 Servant. And the only Servant out of my Grailed Big Five to have gotten this far as of this posting (9/6/2021). Wow.

To think the event that gave me the giant Goldie jerk ended up being the inevitable catalyst that let me bond with Big Robin more.

My gosh. ｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ｡ I love Robin. I love this man so much. My gosh.

So. HERE'S ANOTHER SHORT STORY FOR Y'ALL FOR CELEBRATORY REASONS! I think I might've cried a little inside when writing it. I DON'T REGRET IT!

Here's the OST I listened to when writing this.

----------------------------------

Compared to the first time they stood in the Enhancement Center together, years ago, Robin looked more put together. More like an old friend than a disoriented Heroic Spirit, unsure of where to go way back when. "You really were serious," Robin chuckled, rubbing the side of his nose with his thumb. "Even after all this time, huh."

"Why wouldn't I be—"

Still, Vy felt herself freeze with the Bond Chalice falling limp in her hands once Robin took out a large satchel from behind his back.

"Big...Robin?"

"Just a sec." Robin winked at her, placing a finger to his lips while lowering the satchel to the ground of the Enhancement Center. Once the bag touched the tile floor, the knot keeping the bag closed loosened with Robin letting it go, revealing a large pile of familiar seven-pointed rainbow-colored jewels inside. With a soft whistle, Robin left the bag on the floor, tilting his head at Vy once she was staring up at him and away from the treasure. "I couldn't just let my little sparrow use up all her materials on me without giving something back now, right?"

"Saint... Quartz?" Vy felt herself inhale sharply, glancing between the bag and Robin before blurting, "Robin..."

These are expensive, where did you find these, when did you—

The next thing Vy knew, Robin was in front of her, mere centimeters away as his hands cupped hers, the Bond Chalice's rainbow flame illuminating the affection in his visible green eye as he smiled. "Hey," he whispered, "what's the starry-eyed look for, little sparrow?"

It took a single tear sliding down Vy's cheek to realize what he meant. "I-I..." Vy's throat closed without her meaning it, causing her to duck her head to try catching her breath. A hand still rose towards her, a calloused thumb proceeding to rest at her cheekbone to wipe the next tear away with that signature softness that Vy knew belonged to her most trusted Archer, and she choked. "Wh-What did I do to deserve you, Big Robin? Getting me Saint Quartz wh-when I just wanted to be with you, nothing else..." The Bond Chalice itself was looking foggy as her glasses grew blurry. "Just... wh-what... Wh-What did I do to have you in my life?"

You don't have to do anything, little sparrow, tickled Vy's mind, and that was all the warning she had before the Bond Chalice was being taken out of her hands and a strong hand was pulling her in. Even past her blurry glasses, she could see nothing but green as her body fell limp against Robin's supportive one, her head left to do nothing but rest in his shoulder.

"R-Robin..." came out in a choked sob before Vy could stop it.

"I don't just do this for anyone, little sparrow," brushed the top of her hair as an arm wound around her waist, squeezing reassuringly. Fingers were brushing through her hair. "I wanted to do this because it's for you."

"Uuu..." Vy's nose seized up as more tears proceeded to bubble up in her eyes, dotting her glasses. Somehow, strength proceeded to surge through her arms, enough for her to reach up and hug Robin back, clutching the No Face May King like a lifeline in the process. Thank you, thank you, I love you, I love you, echoed so much in her head. "I-If..." Vy sniffled instead, closing her eyes and burying her face into Robin's shoulder to hide the fear, "If I said...I wanted my eventual first time to be with you, Big Robin, would it — would it be okay?"

Could I still be with you? Even when I'm like this?

This time it was Robin's turn to freeze, and Vy could feel the shock reverberate through their bond before he was gently pushing her back, his forehead gently bumping hers. "...If you said that, little sparrow," Robin said in a quiet voice, his visible eye fluttering open to stare at her and her alone, "then of course it'd be okay. As long as you're okay with me as your eventual first." An unintentional giggle left Vy's lips once the tip of Robin's nose rubbed hers, and blinking her eyes revealed her own reflection shining in Robin's green eye as he smiled. "Then again," he hummed against her lips, breath warm all the while, "I've been your first for a lot of things, haven't I?"

"I-I don't regret it. Being with you has been one of the greatest things that could've ever happened to me..." Vy took one hand up to cup his cheek and brush the fringe of hair away from his face, revealing his other green eye to her as she did her best to smile through the tears. "I-I love you, Robin Hood."

Robin simply blinked at her, a shaky breath brushing her lips as he answered, "And I love you, Vy Duong."

It didn't even take Vy standing on her tiptoes to meet Robin in a kiss this time.

[lifesabe-ch]

game on - john b. (part 3)

request: can u write about being one of kies friends and u come to visit her for a little and u and john b end up rlly liking each other and u hook up at a keg party or something like that ??? thank uuu

summary: you and your parents decide to come to the outer banks for your summer break, visiting your old friend kiara, but things quickly take a turn when you take a liking to one of her friends

pairings: john b. x reader

warnings: nada

a/n: this part is really cute. I honestly don't even think you'd have to read the other two to read this one, but it fits with what’s happening

PART 1, PART 2

You heard someone knock on your front door. Again.

“Mom,” You call from behind your closed door, “Can you get that?”

After a moment of silence, you sigh, wheeling your desk chair over to your door and cracking it open, “Mom?”

Instead of an answer, you only hear another knock, seemingly a little softer than the others.

Groaning, you pull yourself up, jogging down your stairs as you yell, “Don’t worry, I got it.”

Not bothering to check the peephole, or the window, considering whoever this was has already been waiting ages, you pull open your front door to find John B.

“Uh, hey,” he smiles sheepishly at you, almost appearing kind of nervous.

You frown slightly, looking between him and the flowers he was holding, “I… Did I forget something?”

Before he could respond, your mom comes up behind you, smiling, “Sorry honey, I was in the kitchen. Who’s this?”

You merely look between the two of them, watching as he extends the bouquet to your mom, “Hi, ma’am, these are for you. I’m John B. I was actually hoping you’d let me take your daughter on a date.”

And just like that, your mom was smitten. It took her even less time than you to fall for John B.

Smiling widely at her new flowers, she invited him in, practically shoving you out of the way, “Of course you can take her out! Y/N, why aren’t you dressed for your date?”

You scoff lightly, “Because I didn’t know I had a date to get dressed for.”

Pulling him with her to the kitchen, she shooed you upstairs, “Go! Don’t keep the poor boy waiting too long! Now about these flowers...”

Rolling your eyes, you hurried back up the stairs, closing the door to your room behind you. Not only was John B. in your house, he was taking you on a date. Suddenly all the clothes in your closet were too ugly to wear.

After dressing yourself confidently, you walked towards your kitchen, laughter coming from inside. Peaking your head around the doorframe, you noted that your mom had already placed the flowers in a vase with water, and gotten John B. a glass of lemonade.

“Aw, Y/N, you look nice! Come on, give us a little twirl.”

Sighing lightly, you spin around for the two of them, before holding out your hand for John B. to take, “You ready?”

He nods, grabbing your hand as he stands, absentmindedly interlocking his fingers with yours.

Your mother hurriedly follows the two of you as you pull him back towards the front door, phone already in hand, “Wait! Can’t I get a picture before you two go?”

You groan, shoving him out before you, waving at her over your shoulder, “No, mom. I’ll see you later.”

“Bye, Mrs. Y/L/N! I’ll have your daughter back before 11, like you said!”

Sighing, you closed the door behind you, flashing him a look.

“What?”

“You’re such a kiss ass.”

Laughing lightly, he playfully shoves you, his arms coming to rest around your shoulders, “Shut up. You look gorgeous, by the way.”

“Do I not always?” You tease, shaking your head before continuing. “Thanks. You were no help, barely giving me any time to get ready.”

“You looked perfect even before you went up to get ready.”

Blushing lightly, you roll your eyes at him as he moves to open the door of his mystery-machine-looking van for you. Taking the time to look him over, you notice he was more put together than usual, his swishy shorts being replaced by a pair of khaki ones, his shirt still the short sleeved button down but much less messy and, surprisingly, buttoned up almost fully. He did look good, you had to admit.

“You don’t look so bad yourself,” You point out as you hop into the van, noting the cute smile he gives you as he closes the door.

Getting in on the drivers side, he turns the key in the ignition, suddenly seeming a bit nervous again, “Look, I’m sorry if this is weird. I wanted to call you but I realized that I don’t even have your number, and I couldn’t exactly ask Kie, and you pointed out your house to me the day I was giving you a tour so--”

“Don’t worry, it’s fine,” You shrug, waving him off, “I admit, the flowers for my mom were maybe a little much, but I don’t mind.”

“They were actually for you, she just looked like she wanted them more,” he laughs, pulling back out of the driveway, as he talks.

Buckling your seatbelt, you shake your head, “So the next time you have flowers for me and you see some girl who looks like she wants them more, you’re just gonna give them to her?”

He grins, and it surprises you. You had hoped that’d trip him up even just a little. But nope.

He was smooth as ever, quickly retorting, “Thinking about next time already, huh?”

“Shut up,” you mumble, keeping your eyes on the window as he drives.

As soon as John B. parked the car, he was out and around to open the door for you. But as he tugs on the handle, it doesn’t open.

“Did you lock the doors?”

“No! Why would I—”

Before you can respond, John B. goes back to pulling the handle. This time, he pulls too hard, and the handle comes off in his hand.

You gasp, staring at him through the closed window. He doesn’t say anything, but rather stares at the handle in his hand.

It takes him a few seconds to process what he’s done, before he goes around to open the drivers side door again. You’re already hopping out by the time he gets there, laughing at the handle in his hand.

“Someone got a little bit too excited.”

Placing the handle inside his car, he shook his hand, “Off to a great start. I’ll have to get that fixed.”

He took your hand, pulling you with him down to the beach, where a blanket sat crumpled and sandy.

Atop the blanket sat a seemingly forgotten meal. A tray was balanced on top of a pizza box, both covered in sticky pink liquid. The tray itself held two cones, obviously no longer serving their purpose. You couldn't tell, but by the way the top of the box was caved in, you had a feeling the pizza was ruined too.

“Wow, this looks…” you start, but can’t finish.

“Bad.” He says.

Glancing over at him, the guilt on his face is contagious. You didn’t do this, but you might as well have.

You shake your head, leaning down to grab a can of beer, the only thing seemingly untouched by the melted ice cream, “At least we still have this, right?”

Popping it open, you bring it to your lips to take a sip. Instant regret is felt, the warm liquid filling your mouth as you refused to swallow.

“It’s warm, isn’t it?”

You shake your head, mouth closed.

“You want to spit it out, don’t you?”

“Mhm,” you agree, but take one large gulp and it’s in your stomach.

He sighs, he looked around for something, anything, that wasn't ruined. You heard him mumbling to himself as he did so, annoyance clear as day on his features.

“Fucking Pope. Couldn’t even… Goddammit. They give away scholarships for breathing now, apparently.”

Placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, you pull him back to you, “Hey.”

As he makes eye contact with you, you flash him a small smile, “Breathe. Okay? This isn’t that bad.”

Pulling the blanket out from under the ruined food, you shake out the sand, holding it up for John B. to see.

“Look? Okay? The blanket’s okay! That’s really all we need. I mean, the food was a nice thought but the blanket’s enough.”  

“What?”

“John B.,” you say, “This is a really nice blanket. I honestly think we’ll be super comfortable.”

“We’re just gonna sit and talk? You don’t want to eat, at all?”

“Well, I didn’t think we were going to be doing any talking.”

“What the hell did you think…” He pauses as he takes in the suggestive look written on your features.

“Oh.”

You nod, “Yeah. Why else would you pick me up?”

That statement alone was enough to offend him, making him scoff lightly, “For a date?”

“You… were serious?”

“Wow. That’s great,” he mumbles, moving to pick up the trash off the sand.

“John B.,” you trail behind him as he tosses it into a nearby garbage can.

“You seriously thought I brought you here just to hook up with you?”

Shrugging sheepishly, you nod, “It’s not like we haven’t before. I thought that's what we were. Fuck buddies?”

“I don’t want to just hook up with you.”

“You want to hook up with other people too? John, you didn’t need to set up a beach dinner to tell me that.”

“No! I’m saying I don’t want to hook up with you,” He yells, his tone more annoyed than he probably meant to be.

Crossing your arms over your chest, you ignore the tears beginning to brim your eyes. You never took yourself as a sensitive person, but here you were.

“Fine,” You said, turning on your heel to walk off in the direction of the parking lot. If he didn’t want to see you, he wouldn’t have to, you decided. You would walk home.

You heard him groan from behind you, running to catch up, “Y/N, where are you going?”

“Look,” you started, turning to face him, “If you didn’t want to hook up with me anymore, you could’ve just said it. You didn’t have to bring me all the way here and—”

John B. cuts you off by pressing his lips to yours, arm winding around your waist. You didn’t even close your eyes for the short duration of it, shoving him off you as quickly as possible.

“What’re you doing?!”

Given that your reaction was not the one he had hoped for, he took a tentative step back, “I… kissing you? That always works in the movies...”

You huff, shaking your head, “If we were in a movie, none of this would be happening! You’re literally breaking off whatever the hell we have going on and I feel like an idiot—”

“Can you listen to me? For two seconds?”

“I’m literally talking right now.”

“I know! Shut up! I’m not trying to break up with you. We’re not together. Which is what I brought you here to talk about. I want to be with you. I don’t want to be just some guy you hook up with.”

You were silent as you let his words sink in. If that were true… you had been going off on him for the past minute for absolutely no reason.

A chuckle bubbles out of you, your hand moving to cover your mouth as you start laughing. He starts laughing too, and the two of you don’t stop until you need to breathe.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you,” You start.

“No, I’m sorry for bringing you on this shitty date.”

You wave him off, not wanting to make him feel worse than he already felt, “Surprisingly, I’ve been on shittier dates.”

He raised his brows in question, “Really?”

“Yep. He brought his brother.”

“Yikes,” he chuckled, shaking his head.

You nodded knowingly, stretching out the blanket for the two of you to sit down on.

As you sat besides him, he lifted his arm, allowing you to lean into his side. The two you stayed silent for a moment, the scene panned out before you. As the sun began to set, the waves crashed gently on the shore.

You laced your fingers with his, sighing gently as you rested your head against his chest.

“You know? I can’t swim,” you say, and he looks at you incredulously.

“Seriously?”

“No, but it was too quiet,” you say smiling. He watches the ocean.

“Tell me something about you. Something no one else knows.”

You think for a minute, letting yourself thoroughly ponder your answer before speaking, “I really love oranges.”

He scoffs, rolling his eyes as he stares down at you, “That’s not something no one else knows!”

“Yes it is!” You defend. “When I was younger, I went around telling everyone that I hated oranges. I used to make it out to be such a big thing. I wouldn’t touch anything with orange in it. Not orange juice, tangerines, sherbet, popsicles, orange chicken. And it stuck. So now I have to eat them in secrecy. Everyone thinks I hate them, even Kie. But I don’t. I really love oranges. Like, a nice juicy seedless orange.”

He laughs lightly at your answer, “I bought the wrong type of dessert then.”

“What’d you buy?”

“The strawberry ice cream from—”

“The store down the road from Kie’s job?” You finish, pulling back from his chest to fully look at him.

He nods slightly, “Yeah.”

“I only mentioned that once—”

“When I was giving you the tour. ‘Oh my god, the strawberry ice cream from there is hands down the best I’ve ever had!’And then you moved and never touched strawberry ice cream again.”

As you watched him, pure adoration shone in your eyes. Maybe the bar was set pretty low, but he remembered something you had mentioned in passing. Something you didn’t even think twice about. But he did. He thought about it and he went and bought it for this little date he had set up for the two of you. Then he went to your house, gave your mom flowers, and drove the two of you here just so he could tell you he wanted to do more than just hookup with you.

You threw your arms around his neck, pulling yourself onto his lap as you kissed his lips lightly.

John B. grinned at you, hazel eyes melting yours as you stared into them, “What was that for?”

“That was for giving my mom flowers. So don’t expect one for every date.”

tag list (respond to post or send ask to be added!):

@katherine097​ , @pitaparka​ , @sexualparkour​, @rosenbug​

[cynical-amphisbaenia]

Hi hi hiii! I've been reading ur blog for a while and u seem to know a lot about classpecting! So I was wondering if you'd help me with mine? Thank uuu!!

Okay let's start with this

1) I'm shy with people. Like very shy! But when they get to know me I turn into a complete person! Before getting to know me people seem to think that I hate everyone or that I like to be alone (which is true! But I like to be alone, not lonely)

But that has given me a big problem. Since I don't talk a lot people seem to forget me a lot! I've even had teachers that have thought I didn't went to class even though I've been there. That usually doesn't bother me but, it hurts when my friends don't even count me in their activities. I've had friends that doesn't even remember me until I talk to them!

That has made me kind of insecure to the point where I think that they don't actually like me and, if they're really important to me, I tend to get their attention via drawings (they say they like how I draw) or looking for things in common to talk about. I also overshare a lot and that has brought me many problems. I need to work on that!

2) due to the fact that I tend to be always left alone, I have obtained kind of the power of noticing when things are wrong. Either by my friend's body language or by things that I notice without them outright telling me. I tend to know when they're having troubles (with our friend group or in general) or when something it's wrong. I wouldn't say that it's an instinct but rather that is like a puzzle. The pieces come to me in form of info that my own friends give me and then I pierce them all together. Then, when they finally tell me what's wrong (im always the last one they tell what's happening), they only confirm what I already knew

3) people say that I'm very smart and I like to tell everyone the things I know and help them. I don't see myself as a smart person I just like to learn a lot about my favourite things and when they ask me then I don't shut up! (That's another problem I guess!)

4) I hate secrets and I like to be honest, but if u tell me something I won't tell anyone. I don't like to betray people's trust.

5) Im a night owl! And I sleep a lot in the day and my friends joke with that. They say I'm like jade sleeping all the time

6) I don't know if this is important but?? I like to draw and my favourite sports are archery and swimming. I love to swim! I wish to learn to surf one day. Maybe also go diving.

7) I'm afraid of the dark and I don't like scary things. I also dislike to argue or fight. People say I'm too soft but, I just see it as a waste of time.

8) My biggest and impossible dream is to fly or have the ability to become invisible. I tend to daydream a lot!

9) When something bad happens I get very mad but then sigh and say that it doesn't matter. I kind of don't care about many things haha.

10) I like gossip, it's a guilty pleasure of mine. But I tend to investigate by myself since I don't believe a lot what other people say.

I'm overall, a nice person who likes to talk a lot but that's because I don't have many people to talk to. I don't like to have many friends but I like to keep close the ones I have. And since I talk too much with them I tend to think they get bored of me.

I hope that's enough for u

Thank u p much for helping me! I might send a session analysis once I figure out my classpect. I'm the only one that doesn't have one ):

Sorry for the bad english!

There's a couple of possibilities. You could be a Rogue or Seer of Void, or a Rogue of Light. Both Void and Light have a very obvious presence in your life/are important to you. Therefore, one of the main things to determine will be whether it’s that you’re lacking Light or surrounded by Void (so basically the same thing, but which one is more accurate).

A Rogue can be surrounded by the negative traits of their aspect, which does seem to be occurring for you. You also seem to be able to steal Void via things like finding common interests and drawings, as well as stealing Void away to see when things are wrong. However, this could alternatively be knowing Void by seeing what is hidden. Seers also often struggle with the limits of their aspect - perhaps you feel like Void is limiting you. 

Or you could be a Rogue of Light - if Rogue’s aren’t surrounded by the negative traits of their aspect, they tend to be lacking it. You also might be stealing Light and relocating it elsewhere when you learn information which you share with others. 

Determining between the three could be tricky. One might feel naturally feel like it suits you, but if not, it might help to figure out what it is you're stealing/knowing - does it feel like the focus is on knowing/removing Void or relocating Light? So do you care more about that you’re finding what is unknown or that you’re getting to discover and share knowledge? 

Also, when it comes to the Void surrounding you, what feels more accurate - that it limits you (Seer of Void), that it’s meant to be there but is negative (Rogue of Void), or that it’s not meant to be there and is taking up where Light belongs (Rogue of Light)?

I hope this helps!! If you get stuck between two, I can always compare them in more detail for you. ^^

[electraheart2012]

have you ever explained your different tags and where they come from? they’re so ~aesthetic~ and each capture a mood perfectly but i’m not really sure what they’re Meant to encapsulate

THANK U and nope i haven’t! lemme do that now, buckle in >:D ok im back up here to say this got very long but i hope it helped dkdjfkd 

in our lives is a common sense - 1) comes from a pin-light bent by joanna newsom, “in our lives is a common sense / that relies on the common fence” 2) pretty much just stuff about the connection btwn ~humanity, and just things that make me feel warm inside. tl;dr to quote ANOTHER joanna newsom song, ben wyatt.jpeg it’s about the sweetness of being 

heart is a bird - 1) comes from how long from hadestown (the concept album version, idk if the bway version is different bec i refuse to listen to it <3), “all of his sorrow won’t fit in his chest / it just burns like a fire in the pit of his chest / and his heart is a bird on a spit in his chest” 2) this one is probably the most vague tag i have, it’s just a catch-all for a like.. i hate to use the word feral, but more feral/dark aesthetic i guess? or things that feel like some kind of catharsis. basically just twisted cycle path things😩😫🤯😫😫😤😤

if i only could - 1) comes from the electronic bit at the end of running up that hill by kate bush, “if i only could, be running up that hill, oh if i only could” 2) basically anything that reminds me of adolescence or girlhood or teenagedom and the rush that comes with “we’re reeling through the midnight streets / i’ve never felt more alone / it feels so scary getting old”, but it’s kinda just become a catchall for all that and also vaguely alt/2000s stuff 

im no prophet im your friend - 1) from identical by phoenix, “tell me you’re trying / trying to regret playing all night those video tapes / i’m no prophet i’m your friend / take my advice make your mistakes / i’m right beside you, unfold that i know you / i’m told that it’s my fault / i’d rather fall and lose control again” 2) on friendship @_@ 

if you ever were to find your way back home - 1) from the transcendental song 1995 by the radio dept, “1995 seems like a long way to go if you ever were to find your way back home”, one of my fav songs and one of my fav lyrics ever 2) p self explanatory, just things that remind me of home or are about being/make me feel homesick

how the earth did shake - 1) from we the common by thao and the get down stay down, “how the earth did shake / and tumble and tremble for what the people did take” 2) just stuff about like. life/love as political things? and just general things about protest that aren’t, like, actual resources and stuff. im not 100% on this tag asdskdj 

what lies under the city - 1) from sapokanikan by joanna newsom, “wait for the hunter to decipher the stone / and what lies under the city is gone” i wish i had chosen "lost in the idling bird call” or literally any other line from the song but as the french say celebi :pensivecowboy: 2) cities tag! 

our dreams on the windowsill, see those trees turning gold in the hills - 1) from the ending of all shades of blue by gregory alan isakov, 2) this tag is the bane of my existence its so long but yeah it’s an autumn tag but also just kind of a nostalgic tag 

when the redcheeked dancing girls trip home - 1) it’s a paraphrase of a moby dick quote, “for as when the red-cheeked, dancing girls, April and May, trip home to the wintry, misanthropic woods; even the barest, ruggedest, most thunder-cloven old oak will at least send forth some few green sprouts, to welcome such glad-hearted visitants” 2) spring tag! 

youre the only warm thing for miles - 1) from i’m going back to minnesota where sadness makes sense by danez smith, 2) winter tag~! 

barbed spined hold us close forever - 1) a paraphrase of emily by joanna newsom, “the ties that bind they are barbed and spined and hold us close forever” 2) stuff about family/so far mostly siblings 

siren's song take me home - 1) from a map a string a light by yvette young, "siren's song take me home / where the stones can cover me" 2) i can have a little fantasy tag.. as a treat

n - nostalgia and on childhood 

glowing pink in the night - 1) from the mitski song duh 2) for that hashtag moment when you glow pink in the night in ur room, blossoming alone over uuu. i don’t really know abt this tag it kind of pisses me off i can’t decide what it’s supposed to be

heart has no home - 1) from “to the bone” by the queen of haunting songs, mirel wagner, “my heart has no home / you’ve bruised me to the bone” 2) it was a vampire tag but i think it’s just going to be more monstrous people now

sounds of people - 1) MYYY GODD IM SO LONELYYYY SO I OPENNNN THE WINDOW!!!!! 2) it’s like supposed to be urban loneliness but i need to brush it up a bit o_o i also might just merge it with heart is a bird

i think those are all the tags i use most often? but yeah i hope this answered your question n i hope you’re having a good night djfdj <3

[imitranslates]

Fukigen na Mononokean Ch. 70

Finally a peek into Sakae’s past, and maybe a storm brewing in the background?

Please remember to check out the official English release when it comes out, preferably on Crunchyroll if you’re able to!

The newest chapter can be read on the official website by clicking the yellow button labeled 読む!

Fukigen na Mononokean Chapter 70 - Sunflow

Page 3

Neighbor: Good evening.

Dog: Woof, woof!

Nara: Good evening.

Dog: Whine, whine...

(Could you please tell me what you know about Ashiya Sakae back when he had gold hair and eyes?)

Page 4

Demon: Kyuukyuu...

Demon: Kyuu!

Ashiya: Furyuu-san!

Furyuu: Kyu.

Page 5

Ashiya: If there's anything on this food menu

that you want to eat, please tell me!

Furyuu: Kyuu!

(Ashiya: There's Japanese food, Western food, and Chinese food.)

Furyuu: Kyu!

[A karaoke place has private rooms, so no one will bother us...]

Furyuu: Kyuu...

Mononokean: "Before I go the Underworld, I want to eat delicious food from the Mundane world! Kyuu!"

Is what our client says.

[And the menu is expansive, so it's the perfect place for him to enjoy a dinner!]

Page 6

Furyuu: Kyu!

Ashiya: Pizza!

Furyuu: Kyu!

Ashiya: Chinese fried rice!

Furyuu: Kyu!

Ashiya: Yakisoba!

Furyuu: Kyu!

Ashiya: Fries and onion rings...

Abeno: ...Will you be able to eat that much...?

Phone: Ring, ring!

Furyuu: !?

Abeno: !

Furyuu: Kyu!

(Abeno: This ringtone belongs to...)

Page 7

Phone: (continues ringing)

[Mom]

Ashiya: !

Ashiya: ......

Page 8

Ashiya: Excuse me.

Abeno: ...?

Abeno: Is it okay to decline it?

Ashiya: ......

Ashiya: I'm working, so...

Ashiya: I'll get back to her later.

Page 9

Abeno: (That stilted speech...)

(Abeno: He's acting weird.)

Ashiya: Furyuu-san, what would you like to drink?

Abeno: .....

Furyuu: Kyuu!

Abeno: (It seems like Ashiya's mother hasn't responded

To the message I wrote this morning on his behalf...)

(In that case, that incoming phone call was probably...)

(Ashiya: Anything besides alcohol is OK.)

Page 10

Furyuu: Kyuuu!

Ashiya: Furyuu-san, please eat your fill!

Furyuu: Kyu!

(Abeno: How many people could this feed...?)

Furyuu: Kyu!

Furyuu: Kyu!

Furyuu: Kyu!

Page 11

(Furyuu: Kyu.)

Ashiya: You cleared all your plates!!

Furyuu: Kyu!!

Abeno: To eat all of that at your size... I truly underestimated you...

Ashiya: You have quite the appetite, Furyuu-san!

Ashiya: Do you want another helping?

Ashiya: There's also dessert.

Ashiya: ...Furyuu-san?

Furyuu: Kyupupu...

Ashiya: ...Don't tell me...?

Page 12

Furyuu: Kyupu.

Ashiya: Where's the restroom!?

Ashiya: Over there!

Furyuu: Kyupu...

Furyuu: Kyurororo.

Furyuu: Kyurorororo.

Abeno: ...

(Please excuse us for a moment...)

Page 13

Furyuu: Kyu... Kyuu...

Abeno: You overate.

Furyuu: Kyuu...

Ashiya: He's still feeling unwell, huh..

Abeno: I'll allow him to rest for a while before exorcising him to the Underworld.

Ashiya: Please sleep until your condition improves...

Furyuu: Kyuu...

Page 14

Abeno&Ashiya: ......

Ashiya: ...Abeno-san, would you like something to drink?

Abeno: I'm fine.

Abeno: ...Hm.

Page 15

Abeno: We're taking a break from work right now, so

Abeno: Here you go.

Ashiya: !

Ashiya: ......

Page 16

Nara: Hello.

Ashiya: Oh!! How was work today!!

Ashiya: It's me!!

Page 17

Ashiya: Please forgive me for not being able to take your call earlier...!

Nara: (It's fine.) Were you busy...?

Do you have a little time to talk?

Ashiya: Yes!

Nara: ...After you come home would be fine, too, but...

I thought it would be easier to talk over the phone...

Nara: ......

Nara: I read the message you sent me this morning...

Page 18

Nara: Hanae... Why do you know that Sakae used to have gold hair and eyes?

Ashiya: Eh?!

Nara: I've never told you that, you know?

Ashiya: Oh, about that... I heard it from my sister?!

Nara: I don't think she would have told you that either...

Ashiya: Oh, it wasn't her? Maybe it was a customer at the shop, then?

Nara: ...I see... So one of our customers is someone who knew the old Sakae...

Nara: Well, he did stand out...

Nara: ...Me, too...

Page 19

Nara: When I first laid my eyes on Sakae-kun in high school,

I was surprised by his gold hair and eyes...

Ashiya: ! (High school..?!)

Ashiya: Mom, you attended the same high school as my dad!?

Nara: Yeah. Our years were different, but we went there together.

Ashiya: (Then she knew Sakae when he had gold hair and eyes...!)

Page 20

Ashiya: (If so, then...)

Ashiya: (I might hear something about how Sakae came to attack demons!)

Abeno: !?

Ashiya: (I'll put the call on speaker and...)

Page 21

Ashiya: Mom, if you don't mind,

Ashiya: I'd like you to tell me about Dad back then...!

Nara: ...I see.

Nara: I haven't told you about it before now,

Nara: but since you want to know, Hanae... I'll tell you.

Page 22

Nara: ...I...

Nara: When I saw Sakae-kun, who looked like a sunflower...

Nara: I fell in love at first sight!

Ashiya: Ngh?!

(Abeno: Like a sunflower...?)

Nara: When we met, I was in my second year...

Nara: On that day, I'd fainted from anemia soon after reaching school...

Page 23

Nara: Uuuugh...

Nara: (This splitting headache...)

Nara: (It's cold...

I feel so awful...)

Page 24

Nara: (Whenever I come to school, I feel anemic...)

Nara: (Medicine doesn't have any effect,

and the hospital can't find anything wrong...)

Nara: Uuu...

[It hurts...]

[Why...

Why do I have]

[Such a horrible condition all of a sudden...?]

Page 25

Sakae: Disappear...

Page 26

Nara: Kyaa!? Who's there?!

Sakae: !?

Page 27

Sakae: ...So you were awake...

Nara: ....

[Golden...]

Page 28

[This guy...]

[His hair and eyes are golden...]

[Just like a sunflower...]

Sakae: ......?

[Currently admiring.]

(Nara: Hieee... (wonderment))

Sakae: ?

Sakae: ?

Sakae: ......

Page 29

Sakae: How...

are you feeling?

Nara: How am I...?

Nara: Now that you mention it, my chills and headache and nausea are gone?!

Sakae: ...

Nara: My condition always goes downhill when I enter the school, but

Nara: I'm glad I recovered so quickly today! (I might even be able to participate in P.E.!)

Nara: (Could it be?) Maybe when you gave me that shock, you cured me!

Nara: Thank you! Umm... Sunflower-kun!

Page 30

(Sakae: Sunflower-kun...?)

Sakae: .......

Sakae: My name is Ashiya. (Don't give me a weird nickname...)

Nara: (What a coincidence?!) I'm Ashiya, too!

I'm a second year in class 2, Ashiya Nara! What about you?

Sakae: ......

First year, Ashiya... Sakae.

Sakae: ...Hey.

Sakae: Does your health always have problems like today?

Page 31

Nara: Yeah...

Nara: From around the time I started high school, I started fainting a lot due to anemia.

Nara: And lately, even when I'm away from the school, my back will suddenly feel heavy and I won't be able to move,

Or my legs with seize up and I'll fall down on a totally flat path,

Or I'll feel itchy, like something is trying to move through my body...

Sakae: I see, so it's like that...

Sakae: Your constitution makes it easy for you to get drained....

Page 32

Sakae: ...Senpai.

Sakae: While you're still feeling well,

You ought to hurry back to your classroom...

Page 33

(If you're here, you'll become even more drained.)

Ashiya: ......

[Mom can't see demons,

So she misunderstood Sakae's words...]

Page 34

(He meant that her constitution makes her easily drained by demons...)

Abeno: ......

Abeno: ......

Abeno: (Ashiya Sakae...)

[Used his influence to kill demons to help humans...

...Was that sense of justice his motive for attacking demons?]

[When I saw his remnant back then, rather than having that sort of justification,

It felt as though he had a much darker reason behind his actions...]

Page 35

Nara: Because of that...

Abeno: !

Nara: I returned to my classroom like Sakae-kun said.

Nara: There, I told my classmate about Sakae-kun.

"I fell in love at first sight!" I said.

Nara: My classmate's face turned downcast...

Nara: She told me not to have anything to do with him,

Nara: And that misfortune would inevitably befall any person that gets close to him.

Page 36

Nara: In truth... His family died in mysterious circumstances, and the relative that took him in suffered from an unknown illness and was constantly going in and out of the hospital.

One after another, his friends suffered from poor health or got injured in accidents...

Nara: That's why people began to secretly call him a "God of Death" and avoid him...

...I heard.

Ashiya: (Could the source of it be...?)

Abeno: .......

Page 37

Nara: That's everything I remember clearly,

About Sakae back when he had gold hair and eyes.

Nara: The second time we met, Sakae's hair and eyes had become black...

Furyuu: Kyu.

Furyuu: Kyu.

Nara: ...Did you have anything else to ask me?

Ashiya: .....

Ashiya: ...Yeah.

Page 38

Ashiya: But that's more than enough for today.

Ashiya: ...I'll make sure to ask you next time.

Furyuu: Kyu!

Ashiya: Yeah...

Ah, I'm still at school.

Ashiya: Okay...

Furyuu: Kyu?

Ashiya: Okay... I'll see you later.

Page 39

Furyuu: Kyuu!

Page 40

Abeno: That story before...

Abeno: If the misfortunes occurring around Ashiya Sakae,

were a tragedy caused by a demon...

Page 41

Abeno: I can see how he'd come to think that demons had to be exterminated.

Ashiya: .....

(He lost his connections to the people he cherished because of demons...)

Ashiya: To Sakae, demons...

Ashiya: ...were probably the source of his misfortune and loneliness, huh?

Page 42

(Since he was someone who had experienced that suffering firsthand...)

(He surely couldn't leave Mom alone, when he saw her suffering from possession...)

Sakae: ((Uwah...) I thought I felt an awful lot of demons around...

Does this person draw demons toward them...?)

Ashiya: ...!

Ashiya: ...In that case, demons are...

Page 43

Abeno: Ashiya.

Abeno: Haven't you realized something?

Ashiya: Even if demons were responsible for stealing away his bonds with people,

They were also the Cupid that tied those two together in love!

Abeno: !?

Abeno: (Ah?)

Page 44

Ashiya: If demons didn't exist, I wouldn't have been born!

So it's thanks to them that I'm here today!

Abeno: (I'm an idiot for trying to talk to this 5 year old seriously.)

[The person in question, trying his best to have a serious conversation.]

Ashiya: I wonder how those two ended up hooking up...?

Abeno: ......

Ashiya: Maybe Mom confessed? (She did fall in love at first sight...)

Ashiya: It'd be really troublesome if demons kept interfering with their dates, though...? Hmm... I'm curious...

Abeno: You... Why don't you walk home today...?

Ashiya: Huh, why? I wanted you to send me back. (With the Mononokean, it's like woosh...)

Abeno: Don't make me look at your idiotic face any longer. Hurry up and leave in the next 10 seconds. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6...

Page 45

Nara: !

Ashiya: Thank you for telling me so much today.

Page 46

Ashiya: Right now, I'm walking home from school...

Ashiya: I'm hungry! I wanna eat omlete rice~

Nara: Come back home soon,

Hanae~

[softmiinho]

“Baby.” | Hwang Hyunjin

request: Omg I loved the jisung idol!au so much !!!! Can I request a bullepoint scenario with Hyunjin with the same au pretty please🙏✨💞like you’re the maknae and main dancer/vocalist of your group or something. Thank uuu I love your work 💞💖

summary: you had a cute nickname and perhaps Hyunjin calls you that while you're hosting a live broadcast.

pairings: hwang hyunjin x reader

genre: idol!au, fluff, bulletpoint  

words: 1127

m.list | rules | requests

You were a member of jyp’s new girl group, who debuted a few months ago

You were loved by everyone; not only were you the cute maknae but you were also the main vocalist with a unique voice – a voice sweet as sugar, people said

And you had a nickname - no, not a stage name because you used your real name - a nickname your fellow group members used to tease you

As the maknae you were babied a lot by your group members

Always checking in on you, hugging you, kissing you

On vlives, in front of staff… anyways, everyone knew you were their sweet baby…

It was both embarrassing and cute, you had to admit

So “baby y/n ~!” was something you heard every day since trainee days

And that made your fans start to use it too

And then some staff, especially your hairstylist, started to call you that too

And then your seniors

In the end, “baby y/n” wasn’t something used to tease you anymore, it started to be used to show you how sweet and cute you were

What a concept right?

Anyways,,

Thanks to your English skills you were asked to be special MC on ASC, on the episode with Stray Kids

You loved it and quickly said accepted the offer

Changbin, was friends with your group’s main rapper and Chan… Well, Chan knows everyone, so you were not surprised that he knew like half of your group

That meant that sometimes when both groups had time off, you’d spend some time together

And of course, they also used “baby y/n” when talking to you

Jisung thought that was your stage name for like two weeks

“Don’t mind him, he’s dumb.” Hyunjin said to you when Jisung confessed his mistake “But that would be a cute stage name, y/n.”

Needless to say, Hyunjin was the reason why you accepted the offer that quick

Even though he was a bit older than you, he always treated you as a friend and you were very happy with all the help he gave you during your first promotions

You also help a little when he ended someone, other than Stray Kids, to help him practice

Very happy to be his friend indeed

On the day of the episode, you greeted Stray Kids in the studio

Everyone was really excited to be there, and your presence made everything even better

When you were going to talk to the studio staff about your cards, Hyunjin pulled you aside to talk

“Are you nervous, baby Y/n?” Hyunjin asked you while holding your hand, looking you in the eyes

You immediately blushed and tried to avoid his gaze and looked at the floor

“I’m fine Hyunjin-oppa, just don’t call me that when we get there”

“Ah everyone calls you that!” he laughed and hold your hand tighter “Why am I different?” he locked eyes with you and tilted his head to the side

Hyunjin looked so cute, so innocent when he looked at you like that

You were gonna combust if he continued to act this cute

But you didn’t even want to look away

“Uh? What do you mean?”

“Y/n! We are about to start! Hurry please!”

He simply smiled at you and let go of your hand

The episode started, and everyone was having a good time

Jimin had already made fun of Chan a couple of 100 times

Seungmin went savage on Changbin every chance he got

The usual, you know? Lee Knows

Until it was time to introduce the title track of Stray Kids new album

Hyunjin explain the track and how beautiful it was

“And you can sing us your part?” you asked him, which made him blush a little

Hyunjin did as you asked and sang his part

“You know Jimin, y/n actually helped Hyunjin on that part. I was always hearing them both sing it until he nailed it.” Chan said while patting Hyunjin’s thigh, a signal of his good work

“Oh really? Y/n why don’t you sign it with him then?”

“Oh… Hm… Okay sure…R-Ready?” you took a deep breath and sang Hyunjin’s verses with him

Your voices were both very beautiful and together made everything sound even better than before

When it was finished Stray Kids and Jimin cheered

“Baby y/n, that was so cool!” Hyunjin said to you

You blushed even more due to the nickname used – nickname you specifically told him not to use - and put the card in front of you so you could hide your face

Which caused loud “aw baby y/n~” to burst in the studio during a minute until all of you got yourselves back together and continued with the show

With no more interruptions this time

When the broadcast was over, Hyunjin walked your way

"Y/n I'm sorry... " hands ruffling his hair and looking everywhere except at you.

"It's just you're so cute I can't stop myself from calling you that and," he was gonna continue but you interrupted him

"Let's go somewhere else to talk, please..."

He walked you over the dressing room and locked the door

"Oppa, I,"

"Listen, I really like you y/n. I like spending time with you, talking to you, making fun of you and the way you freestyle, and especially I like calling you baby y/n"

"I really-" you tried to reply to his sudden confession but he cut you off

"I know that us being idols makes things hard but really wanted to get know you even better and maybe, maybe if you want to, I wanna be more than friends.

"That's-"

"If you don't want to its okay.. This was a bad idea anyway, I'm so so-"

"Hyunjin!" he got surprised by the lack of honorifics and by your hands on his face to make him look at you in the eyes

"I like you too! And I think that is a great idea!"

"Oh.. Really?" his eyes light up like Christmas lights

"Yes really!"

He hugged you and spun you around the dressing room

You both laughed

When he let go of your body, his hands gently grabbed your face

"I really like you baby y/n" he whispered

He moved forward to close the gap between you and

"Guys, this is cute but maybe next time, find a better place to hide"

Jisung said while sitting on a chair in the corner of the dressing room

"How long have you been there?!" Hyunjin said and pulled you closer to him so he could hug you

"Like 2 minutes before you came in?" he replied

Maybe the dressing room wasn't Hyunjin’s brightest idea

"And damn dude, you really need to learn how to let your girlfriend talk without interrupting"

[enstars-translations]

[Course Events] Leo Tsukinaga [Checkmate]

(Checkmate Course Events for Leo. From breaking him arm and being hospitalized, to making ‘Knights’ with Izumi, it was a very eventful time.)

I’ve Been Waiting (1/ 3)

“He will come to visit me~ He won’t come to visit me~ He will~ He won’t~ He will~ .... Ugh, it’s hard doing this with just one hand. Eek! Eh? Ah…. Sena? Ooh, oh wow! You really came!”

A. (1) “You were waiting for me?”

“Wahahah! Too bad for you, Sena! I was waiting for Ruka-tan~ ☆ Well, I’m pretty happy to see you came too, Sena! ♪ Wait, why’re you leaving? You just got here~!”

A. (2) “You were waiting for me?”

“Yeah! I was waiting for you, Sena~ ♪ I was so bored, I thought I was gonna die…. I even started doing flower divination. But it’s alright now! Because now you’re here, Sena! Wahahaha ☆”

B. (1) “Flower divination? That so doesn’t suit you.”

“Hmph! Well, sorry! That it so doesn’t suit me! This is your fault, Sena. You never come visit me, and you hang up whenever I call you…. Yeah, that’s right, I was lonely! I was really lonely, Sena~!”

B. (2) “Flower divination? That so doesn’t suit you.”

“Wahahaha! Oba-chan taught me how to do it earlier~! Which Oba-chan….? You know, Oba-chan is Oba-chan! Someone’s mom? You’re not making any sense, Sena~”

I’ve Been Waiting (2/ 3)

“Hey, what’s with the name ‘Backgammon’? Backgammonbackgammonbackgammonbackgammonba— Aughhhh! I’m losing my mind hereeee….! Who’s the guy who came up with this?! ‘Chess’ was cooler by a long shot, huh, Sena!”

A. (1) “Doesn’t matter either way.”

“Hmph. What’re you acting so cool for, Sena? I know you’re more spirited than that. It’s harbored deep within you, a burning passion….! ‘Yeah, yeah’....? Hey, don’t just brush me off like that! Pay more attention to me~!”

A. (2) “Doesn’t matter either way.”

“Yeah, I guess it doesn’t! Uuu~ But that harsh tone of yours is pissing me off! At this rate, I’m only gonna be able to write harsh-sounding songs! Are you fine with that, Sena~?!”

B. (1) “Yeah, guess you’re right.”

“Wahahaha! A big victory for me~ ☆ If Sena says so, it’s gotta be right! After all, you’re really good with words, right? That just goes to show how much I rely on you, okay~? I’m still counting on you from now on, Sena!”

B. (2) “Yeah, guess you’re right.”

“See, I knew it~ ♪ Hey, don’t say it while playing with your phone! You didn’t hear a single word I said, did you~?! Damn you~! Sena, you idiot! Stupid! Blockhead! Probably a pervert! A big pervert~!”

I’ve Been Waiting (3/ 3)

“Ah-choo! Ah~ ….It’s getting a little chilly, huh? Hm? What’s that, Sena? Go back to my room? No way! I’m not going back~! To hell with the hospital~!”

A. (1) “That’s embarrassing, cut it out.”

“Ugh~ Nuh-uh! Quit telling me what to do! I’m gonna yell! I hate doctors! Hospitals can just burn to the ground~! Wahaha! Isn’t that hardcore? Not a bad idea now and then, huh? I’ve been struck by inspiration!”

A. (2) “That’s embarrassing, cut it out.”

“What do you mean it’s embarrassing~?! Aren’t I your son, the apple of your eye?! Yep! It’s ‘cause you act like my mom, Sena! Wahaha ☆ I know you worry about me, even if you complain the whole time~! Thanks for everything, Sena~ ♪”

B. (1) “Quit being so immature.”

“Uu~…. But it’s not my fault I don’t like it. Ah! But if Sena will stay by my side, and take care of me the whole time, then I’ll go back! That way, I won’t be lonely at all, and I’ll sleep better at night, too…. ☆

B. (2) “Quit being so immature.”

“Fine. I’ll go back to my room…. Bwaha! Wahahaha! You should’ve seen the look on your face just now, Sena~! Heheh. It looks like Sena doesn’t like it when I actually behave…. I’ll just act immature forever, then ♪”

Me and Sena (1/ 3)

“Sena~! Heeey, where’s Sena~?! Oh, there you are! Found you~ ☆ There’s hardly anyone that hangs out by themselves during break time, so that actually made you easier to find! Wahahaha ☆”

A. (1) “Could you not yell for me so loud?”

“But you wouldn’t hear me if I wasn’t loud, right~? Ah! But if it’s you, I bet you’d still notice me ♪ How do I know? Hmm, dunno! If it’s Sena, I just feel like you’d notice even if I didn’t call for you…. Dunno why, but I just do!”

A. (2) “Could you not yell for me so loud?”

“Wahahaha ☆ Don’t worry! Nobody minds! Anyway, Sena, you really don’t have any friends, do you~? Guess I’ll just have to hang out with you, then! Heheh, I’m such a nice guy~ ♪

B. (1) “You actually came to school.”

“Yeah! Haven’t been going to class, though~ I was playing the piano this whole time ♪ I could only use one hand while I was hospitalized, so I really wanted to play with both hands again! I wrote a new song while I was at it, too, and I wanted Sena to hear it, so I came to get you! Come on, let’s go, Sena~!”

B. (2) “You actually came to school.”

“It’s ‘cause I finally got discharged from the hospital! I’ve been released from my oppressors! Wahahah! So I wanted to spend the day as a normal highschool boy, just for today! With that said, Sena! We’re headed to the co-op store now to fight over bread! Let’s go~ ☆”

Me and Sena (2/ 3)

“♪~ ♪~ ♪~ Oh yeah, I wonder how Tenshi’s doing~ I heard he’s in the hospital again. Maybe I’ll go see him. Ah, Sena, you wanna come too? You know who Tenshi…. I mean, Tenshouin is, right?”

A. (1) “I’ll pass.”

“Hm? Do you have something else planned? If you don’t, then why not~? I dunno about Tenshi, but I was super lonely! Yeah, I was! So that’s why I was super happy when Sena came to visit me~!”

A. (2) “I’ll pass.”

“How come, Sena~?! Ah, is it because you hate hospitals? I can understand that, yep yep. Then, how about coming to my place? I can feel a new song coming on…. ♪ Ah! But you’re not allowed to leave me behind to go chat with Ruka-tan!”

B. (1) “What about lessons?”

“You really like lessons, don’t you, Sena? You’re always so persistent, going ‘one more time, one more time~’ Well, that’s fine, though! I’ll just be off to the side writing songs, so you can do lessons as much as you want. I actually really like watching Sena sing and dance…. ♪”

B. (2) “What about lessons?”

“Eh~? We can skip for just this one day. Is it because you and Tenshi aren’t that close? He’s a good guy. He gave me food, and let me play the piano. I think that even you could become friends…. You don’t need friends? Ah, hey, wait! Don’t just leave! Don’t leave me behind~!”

Me and Sena (3/ 3)

“Hm? Where did Little John go? Ah, there you are ♪ Listen to this, Little John! Starting today, we’re gonna be called ‘Knights’~ Well, I said ‘we,’ but right now it’s just me and Sena! Wahahaha ☆”

A. (1) “Stop, that makes us sound pathetic.”

“Hmm~? Pathetic? I don’t think so at all! I feel super reassured with you here, Sena…. Kinda like, I don’t need anything else? ‘Don’t exaggerate….? I wasn’t trying to. I was telling the truth, you know?”

A. (2) “Stop, that makes us sound pathetic.”

“Ah! Sena’s in a bad mood today! Doesn’t that mean we can make a comedian duo? I’m Leo~! And I’m Sena~! Together, we are ‘Knights’~! How about something like that? Oh! Little John just meowed! I feel like this could be our big break…. ☆”

B. (1) “Looks like we’ll need more members, huh?”

“Hmm? That seems like a pain, but I’ll try asking around first! I’ll have to work hard, since Sena doesn’t have any friends! Wahahaha ☆ Hm? You might know someone? Since when did you make some friends?”

B. (2) “Looks like we’ll need more members, huh?”

“Members, huh…. Alright, then I vote for Little John! Wahaha! I’m kidding, I’m kidding! I’m just kidding, but I kinda meant it, too! Because personally, I think that’d be the best members to have! I love Little John, and I love Sena, too! We’d be the best ‘unit’ ever! Wahahaha ☆”

[savemefrommyselfxv]

Letter writes again.

Buddy. :') I've always been a "lover from afar" kinda kid man. Ahah. Non-invasive. Solo hustles but send immense do'as your way kinda thing. Clean cut hiatus are a biiiit hm hahah ya la and you gotta know maybe how idk hahah it's still the whole "I wanna pantau" but it's ramadhan so we gotta maxxxximize but yeah, yknow? Hahah untranslated into words. May meanings get across. (I look forward to your writes actlly aha but tak nak taruh harapan ah)( kinda like... Wanna know how you're keeping up but yeah no pressure kinda thing)(low key care aha)(fillah, fillah. I leave you in the care of Allah and with hopes you'd be able to well discern and be your own good shepherd to your own soul, yeah buddy? Hahah little one with light, khair insyaAllah) But yeah actlly so many reminders/shares I wanna share ahah but seeee the non invasive, indirect type of me tannak directly share so kau pandai pandai la oki hahah find traces I may leave with intent for it to reach you, if they're meant to reach you. Let me leave 3!! 1) May youuuuu draw in closeness to Qur'an. Open pages randomly and just trace your finger and see where it lands. Aha. I did this on first ramadhan night (ok la actually what I did was open quran app and scrollzzz and see where it stops hahah) and it ended on surah Al Luqman and I didn't finish reading and I decided I'd keep coming back and been reading like a few lines each time like on the bus otw somewhere etc and :"""") realise what I stumbled upon was immense treasure trove of wisdomssss (duh hahah it was a story of Luqman (peace/blessings/mercy and redha of Allah upon the one mentioned in Quran) to his bunayya. So yeah for now from this surah: 1. Be grateful to Allah. Don't syirik. 2. Serve and be grateful to walidayn :") Then I did the finger trace and open quran randomly thing again last night (this time with actual quran) and I ended on Al Ahqaf 15/16/17 ANDDD aGAINN ahaha it's about parents so :") no reminders reach coincidentally, kan? Also: Last night, I bumped into my father's cousin aka a faraway aunt, who was my ustazah who taught me how to wudhu and solat and I still rmmbr how jakun I was at 5yo to learn to duduk di antara sujud :""").hahaha so yeah alhamdulillah it's quite nostalgic much feelz to "see how far" the journey traversed since I was 5 ah :" 2) (ok let me give up with "leaving you with 3" aha and continue this free writes ok) // don't lose sight of your ramadhan goals oki!! Wether solat goals or reading goals or quran memorisation goals or 99names goal or do'a goals or mathurat goals. Ini reminder to self jugak actlly. Ahah I should translate these goals into writing and a proper checklist ah since I'm more visual but yeah for now mine's still in my head and whileeee ramadhan on the whole has been pretty good and alhamdulillah upon everything I've slipped up a biiiit at the start but yeah insyaAllah. Just keep running/walking/get back on track/wa atubu ilaih. And thank you for sharing that wirid (that youtube vid!!). It was rlllly rllly peaceful soul calms. I think it helps ah to find such goods - whether singsong type of rayhan songs that helped me in memorizing do'as (like the bismillahi ladzhi la yadurru song or the penghulu istighfar they made into a song or do'a iman or even selawats that have beau tunes.) idk tunes beautifies so yeah. :) alhamdulillah ((I've been including more 'alhamdulillah' in my thoughts and speech after I've been talking to you man hahah and for that truly alhamdulillah)) ( I rmmbr this one reminder: Alhamdulillah for Alhamdulillah, for Allah allows for us to remember and to even utter alhamdulillah is a nikmah in itself) (and astaghfirullah for our astaghfirullahs that were absent minded/unsincere of repentance and returns) I rmmbr how excited you were to make this a gamechanger ramadhan that will touch deep your heart and soul and pour light type and take u leaps forward into positiv vibes and light so keeeeeeep goinz ok torchbearer. Ramadhan is so beautiful ahah. Ustaz nuzhan shared ytd about the dream Abu tholhah had (I think) about 2 ppl who entered islam tgt same time and both did worship tgt etc except one mati syahid first and another passed a year after. Tapi the one who passed a year after entered jannah first (I think). Only for the reason he got to live experience and immerse in one extra ramadhan than the brethren. And the diff between him and his kawan, is like, distance between heaven andddd earth. MasyaAllah right? :")) and yeah ahahah I cried badly when the azan kumandang to signify dah Ramadan (ahahah ok maybe I'll post that write here hm) But okiiiii. Take care, ok? HAHA imma still pantau and see idk if I should pull full hiatus from this opensilvers kindergarten friendship hahahah but well seems not like it // but beneficial shares inshaAllah and addu'a biddu'a and jia you and may your sinssss wash away wash away with your temperature/falling sick (seeee, husnuzhon billah, Allah wants to purify uuu) Hahahah. Until next writes, aight. For Allah, by Allah, to Allah. In truth an audience of One. Abdi lillahi mulk samaawati wal ardh. Take care, mirroredz (insert smiley face and sparkle emoji) (and green heart to rmmbr rasulullah saw)