#but the idea of kara not even remembering kara danvers makes my heart ache

[mrsluthordanvers]

Au where Kara used the book of destiny and lose her mind. When Lena wakes up after the crisis nobody can remember Kara.

So I’ll be honest I still don’t fully understand what happened in crisis, but I did my best!

Read on AO3 + my ko-fi

“Supergirl.” Lena greets coldly as two familiar red boots land on her balcony.

A visit is about the last thing she wants right now. She’s still trying to wrap her head around everything Lex was talking about this morning. In one fell swoop, the world she knew was gone, she lost her company, and her brother was being awarded the noble peace prize instead of being sentenced to prison. It’s enough to make her head ache, and the idea of listening to Kara grovel only makes it worse.

“Miss Luthor.” Supergirl replies as she walks into Lena’s office, her cape billowing behind her.

Lena keeps a straight face at Kara’s unusual coolness. It’s reminiscent of the early days of their friendship and Lena hates how it throws her off. After weeks of apologies and begging, Kara stands in the middle of her office every inch the Super she is, looking like she’s inspecting the place.

“If you’re here to explain, there’s no need, Lex already filled me up.” Lena rubs her temples wearily.

Supergirl’s brow furrows as she turns slightly to look at Lena over her shoulder.

“Explain what?”

Lena lifts her head slightly to look Kara in the eye as she turns fully towards her.

“Crisis. The book of destiny, the anti-monitor, Luthor Corp.” Each word falls from Lena’s lips like they leave a bad aftertaste in her mouth.

“I think there might be some confusion as to why I’m here Miss Luthor.”

Lena fully lifts her head this time as she leans back into her chair.

“So, what, you were just going to skip over everything? Hope I didn’t remember so that you don’t have to keep apologizing?”

Supergirl takes a step forward, hands settling on her hips.

“Have I offended you in some way?”

“Offended?” Lena stands, ignoring how her head throbs with every step she takes to round her desk. “You only lied to me for years about your secret identity.”

“My secret identity?”

“This is how we’re going to do this? A new reality, and you go right back to lying to me?”

“Miss Luthor, I really don’t know- “

“Kara Danvers.” Lena seethes. She hates that Kara is forcing her to say it. That she’s still denying it to Lena. “CatCo reporter.”

“Who’s Kara Danvers?”

The words hit Lena like a bucket of ice water. Her whole body stiffens as the hero stares at her with concerned eyes.

“Lena…” Supergirl’s voice is so soft and familiar all of a sudden that it makes Lena’s stomach twist. “Can I take you to the DEO? I think you might be sick.”

“I think you might be right.” Lena finally answers, as she smiles robotically at Supergirl. “But I can’t let you fly me off in the middle of the day.”

Supergirl looks like she’s about to protest when Lena continues, “I will go as soon as I’m done for the day.”

“Promise?”

Lena feels nauseous as she looks at Supergirl looking at her with an expression she’s seen a hundred times.

“’I promise.” Lena croaks.

---

Walking into the DEO is much easier now, Lena realizes. A perk of having her family name written across the floor, everyone is much less surprised to see her. The only head that turns towards the sound of her heels echoing on tile floors is Director Alex Danvers.

Lena barely slows as she signals to the director before letting herself into the nearest office.

“Something’s wrong with Supergirl.” Lena says as soon as she hears the door click.

“Did something happen at your office?”

“You could say that.” Lena scoffs as she turns to look at Alex.

“She went to tell you that we found evidence that Lex is stealing your work, just like you said. What happened?”

That makes Lena pause. She and Kara didn’t actually get around to talking about why she had come by the office. She had flown out the window shortly after Lena promised she’d go to the DEO herself.

“Lex is stealing my work?” Lena blinks. “That bastard is winning a noble peace prize with my work?”

Alex uncrosses her arms and takes a half step forward with a gentle look of concern.

“Lena, is everything alright? You already knew this was happening, we talked about it remember?” Alex takes another cautious half step forward. Lena winces internally as she feels a stab of pain behind her left eye as she realizes in frustration Kara must have already talked to Alex about this morning. “You came to me. You told me that Lex wasn’t everything he seemed. We’ve been looking for this evidence for months…Supergirl wanted to be the one to tell you.”

Of course.

Of course, Kara would want to be the one to tell her. Of course, Kara believes in her. Kara’s always believes in her. Why would the destruction of the multiverse change that?

Lena’s chest tightens, her breathing growing shallow as she reaches out casually to brace herself on the table.

“Lena.” Alex’s face swims before her, her voice coming in and out as she navigates Lena into a chair. “Lena, you need to sit down.”

Lena’s murmuring to herself, calling Lex all sorts of unpleasant names under her breath. “He can recreate the universe but he can’t recreate himself. Same manipulating, cunning, asshole.”

“Recreate the universe? What are you talking about?”

“Lex.” Lena says like it’s completely obvious, before she looks Alex dead in the eyes and sees all the same concern, she had seen in Kara’s eyes this morning.

“God, you don’t remember anything either, do you?”

“Remember what?”

“The multiverse!” Lena stands, inadvertently pushing Alex back.

“The DEO,” Lena points in the direction of the agents she knows sit outside the office, “was a black ops government agency. You were still the director and Supergirl still worked for you. But you told people you were a part of the FBI because people don’t know you exist. And it certainly wasn’t a Luthor subsidiary! I helped out occasionally but…” Lena waves her hand in the air as she continues.

“Luthor Corp. Luthor Corp was L-Corp. I became CEO when Lex was sentenced to 32 consecutive life sentences after trying to kill Superman and murdering innocent people in the process. I’m the one that made it a force for good! Not him!

And Supergirl! Supergirl is Kara Danvers, a sweet, sunny reporter for CatCo magazine because even in her secret identity she can’t stand to see injustice in the world. She’d just won a Pulitzer Award. Your parents adopted her as a child. She’s your sister, she’s my best friend. And no one remembers who she is! She doesn’t even remember who she is!”

Lena’s almost panting by the time she stops. Her throat aches slightly from raising her voice, and her headache is definitely back in full swing.

“You’re not the only one that remembers.”

Lena turns towards the door to find J’onn watching them both.

“Kara seems to be the only Paragon that doesn’t remember what happened.”

“Lex probably made sure of that.” Lena hisses as J’onn just nods in agreement.

“Manipulating someone’s memories can be dangerous. I wanted to be sure it was the right thing to do.”

Lena lifts her chin, jaw muscles clenching slightly. “And, what have you decided?”

J’onn looks over to Alex momentarily before looking back at Lena. “I think it would be best if I restored Alex and Kara’s memories…Lex isn’t what he seems in this world, and he has all of his memories. They can help us better if they have their memories.”

Lena nods, “And everyone else?”

“I can’t.” J’onn says regretfully. “Restoring everyone’s memories could have catastrophic consequences. It would change relationships on such a large scale that the mental impact would- “

“I understand.” Lena sighs, as she lowers herself into a chair. “But Kara and Alex?”

“Should not pose any problems.”

---

“You may want to sit for this.” J’onn suggests gently, not bothering to specify if he is talking to Kara or Alex.

Lena watches as he places hands on both of Alex’s temples and closes his eyes, Alex following his lead. She feels a pang of sympathy as Alex winces every once in awhile, her eyes flicking back and forth under her lids.

Finally, Alex settles and J’onn steps back. It’s a moment longer before Alex’s eyes start to flutter, and she finally opens them. Looking between Lena and J’onn she takes a deep breath but says nothing.

“It’s okay if you need a minute.” J’onn says as he gives Alex’s knee a squeeze.

“Kelly?” Alex croaks, looking relieved when J’onn nods again.

“We can talk to her. I can restore her memories too, if she wishes.”

Then J’onn turns to Kara, waiting as she stares over his shoulder at Lena.

“I’m ready.” Kara says strongly, never breaking eye contact until she closes her eyes at J’onn’s touch.

Kara twitches more then Alex did. Occasionally crying out as she clenches the arms of the chair. The plastic warping under her strength. Lena holds her breath as a single tear runs down Kara’s cheek as J’onn pulls away.

Both J’onn and Alex quietly leave while Kara still sits in her chair, eyes closed, gently breathing.

“Lena?”

“I’m here.” Lena whispers as she shifts quietly to the chair closest to Kara.

“I’m really sorry.” Kara whimpers, her eyes scrunching up against more tears.

Lena nods despite Kara’s eyes still being closed. “I’m sorry too.”

Lena takes a deep breath when watery blue eyes blink open to look as her.

“I made a terrible mistake. I was hurt…I was so hurt, and, I thought I could get rid of the hurt…I thought I could push you away.” Lena’s voice shakes as she lifts a hand to stop Kara from talking. “But I can’t…For a moment this morning I was forced to live a reality where Kara Danvers didn’t exist. And I realized…I realized I’d rather be fighting with you than push you out of my life again, because even for a moment, not having you in my life was the worse thing I could imagine.”

Lena blinks, taking in another long shuddering breath as Kara stares at her for a long moment.

“I’m still going to need some time…”

“I know.” Kara whispers.

“But I’d really like to start working towards being your friend again…if you’ll have me?”

It’s like every tense muscle in Kara’s body deflates at those words as she smiles softly at Lena.

“Always.”

[thewitchandtheassassin]

What Would An Angel Say, The Devil Wants to Know Part Four (Lena Luthor x Reader)

(Part One) (Part Two) (Part Three)

Summary: Why can’t you learn to control your emotions?

Words: 1576

Warnings: Language, angst, talks of violence.

Taglist:  @natasharomanoffswife @natasha-danvers @aaron-despair @username23345 @xjiasx @nowthisisliving27 @higherfurther-romanova @summergeezburr @marvels-writings @onlyafewfindtheway @captain-josslett @hayleyokami​ @aznblossom​

A/N: So I did a thing. And here we are.

-X-

Planning a demise wasn't terribly time consuming when someone like Lockwood was helping. Dastardly and vile, his ideas were straight to the point as you discussed your options. While you couldn't outright end the human's life with your own hands, he was quick to point out the most effective options that even a great angel like Lena couldn't stop. Cars were too uncertain and, while the elevator had been a good touch, something like that was too preventable.

"You need quick. Abrupt. No possible room for survival," Ben advised, sunglasses obscuring his face despite having no need for them as he eyed the blonde strolling briskly past you, none the wiser of your existences.

"True, but we have to be smart," you added, glancing around in search of Lena's tell: her "heavenly" glimmer.

"Yes, yes, I know. Your little angel is cunning but I think you give her too much credit," Ben replied, his eyes undoubtedly rolling as he sneered at the humans walking along.

Snorting, you jabbed your dagger into his side, ignoring his hiss of pain or the way he swatted at your hand. "No, I'm just not arrogant enough to underestimate her."

Your eyes strayed back to Kara as she slipped back into her office building and then - only then - did you seem the shine of the angel that often haunted your thoughts. The cretins of the earth couldn't see her but you could, her dark locks fluttering in the wind as she gazed back at you pleadingly.

Pieces of you hated her. Truly. Deeply. You would bear marks for the rest of eternity because of her.

But in the same token, you couldn't deny that your memories with her often left your stomach twisted in knots as you reminisced over the smile that made your heart ache. It hurt, remembering how things had once been. Before you were forced to fight with her; fight for your life.

You could see Lena's expression shift the moment it dawned on her who was standing beside you. The way her eyes narrowed and her lips pursed, defiantly glaring at the smug demon beside you.

"Uh oh. I think your little angel recognizes me," Ben cackled, fingers curled into a taunting wave.

Snarling your lip, you growled, "She's not my angel, you ass. Now shut up before I cut your fucking tongue out."

Ben clicked his tongue disapprovingly. "Testy, testy, (Y/N). Such a killjoy."

Cutting your eyes at him, your grip tightened on your dagger. "Shut. The. Fuck. Up."

You glanced back over to the building, but Lena was nowhere to be seen.

-X-

Querl studied his ward curiously, occasionally reading whatever Nia was writing though his stare always returned to the woman he was sent to protect. She was so entrancing and for once in his existence, Querl wished to be human again. If only for a day.

So enthralled by Nia, he didn't notice Lena's presence until her voice startled him off the desk he'd been perched on.

"Gods, Lena, you scared me!" he yelped, clutching his chest as he stared at the openly bothered woman.

"Maybe if you had been paying attention to your surroundings and not gawking, you would've noticed me," Lena scolded, though her words held no real bite to them.

"You seem troubled." Querl's brows furrowed together worriedly. "Are you okay?"

Shaking her head, Lena snagged her bottom lip between her teeth before sighing. "No. Complications have arisen and I'm unsure of what's going to happen."

"What complications?"

Peering over at Kara's messy desk, her nostrils flared slightly. "It appears (Y/N) has been given a helper. Lockwood."

Inhaling sharply, Querl's eyes flitted between Nia and Kara. "What should we do?"

"Be watchful. And careful. (Y/N) might have once been a friend but with Lockwood here, we must be vigilant or they'll both be dead before we can stop it."

It was difficult, accepting your new role in her life. Mortal enemies instead of teasing rivals you'd once been. Friends no longer, especially if you were willing to work with him.

A monster in every sense of the word.

"If she's working with him, you need to be careful. This seems way more personal than just an assignment," Querl advised sagely. "I want to believe it isn't but I can't imagine Ben will let this finish without trying to end you. Or having her try to kill you, to prove herself."

Your punishment had been no secret, most of the guardians far too aware of what your friendship with Lena had left you with, the bad blood thick and the scars deep.

"(Y/N) wouldn't..."

"Maybe the old (Y/N) wouldn't but now? Everything is different, Lena. You must accept that. Putting too much faith in her could cost us everything."

Swallowing dryly, the angel nodded. He was right...

She just wished he wasn't.

-X-

"We could always send a helicopter crashing into the building," Ben mused, scratching his chin thoughtfully. "If that didn't kill the human, surely the building collapsing would."

"That would kill too many others," you argued, resisting the urge to pinch the bridge of your nose. "We're supposed to be discreet. Dropping a building on a bunch of them definitely wouldn't be discreet."

Lockwood shrugged, completely unbothered by his suggestion. "The human must die. At least we'd know for sure she was dead. Plus Querl's little charge is up there. Two sad, pathetic birds. One mighty stone."

"Not a chance, Woody, pick a new idea."

Ben sneered. He hated that nickname and you knew it, only using it to get under his skin. "Fine."

Smirking at his obvious annoyance, you peered up at the sky absently, noting the darkening clouds. You couldn't remember life as a human (if you'd ever been one to begin with) but you almost wished you could if only to feel the rain on your skin. It seemed like such a peaceful experience, the water trickling over flesh, soaking into clothes instead of rolling off dark wings.

"I'm going to see if I can come up with a better plan," you jeered, heading for the building before he could reply.

Stretching your wings, you kicked off the ground and slowly maneuvered to the floor your mark resided on, eyeing the oblivious blonde through the window. You were well aware you'd be attracting unwanted attention but you couldn't stand being around Ben any longer. If you didn't get a few minutes of space, you were likely to ram your dagger into his throat and send him back to the underworld without his body.

The shift of the air was apparent and you smirked knowingly at Lena's reflection in the glass.

"Stop smirking at me," Lena demanded, arms crossed in frustration.

Snorting, you twisted to face her, brow arching in amusement. "Or what?"

"You're working with Lockwood now?" she questioned, ignoring the challenge hidden in your words. "You hate that spawn of Hell."

You shrugged nonchalantly, peering at the throngs of people below. "He's my ticket to survival."

"He's a slimy coward who wants you dead!"

"Clearly so do you!" you shouted, eyes narrowing into a venomous glare dripping with disdain. "At least he's trying to keep me alive a little longer."

"You're an idiot if you really believe that."

Rolling your eyes, you inched closer to the infuriated woman. "No, I was an idiot thinking you ever cared about me, Lena. At least Lockwood doesn't lie to my face and pretend to be my friend."

"I am your friend!" Lena screamed, the green of her irises dissolving as energy flowed through her. "I don't want you to die!"

As if sensing the tension, the sky went alight with lightning as rain began to flow, startling the humans and hurriedly soaking them to the bone. If only it could wash away the anguish and pain twisting your insides; silence the beasts banging around in your head.

"Bullshit! You pretend to be some pure, precious guardian but you're really just as manipulative and cruel as every other angel. You think that energy of yours makes you above everyone but you're no better than me! And I should've seen that instead of falling in love with some white-winged bitch!" You shoved her, hard, barely containing the want to strangle the guardian who'd ruined you.

Fury washed over you in waves, rendering you heedless of the unwitting admittance that had passed your parted lips, only the sounds of your enraged breathes ringing in your ears. A flurry of emotions crossed Lena's features but you didn't care, simply wanting to either bolt away from the angel or toss her into the sun.

Whichever was easier.

"Y-you're in love with me?" she whispered, the power draining away and leaving behind imploring emeralds that were glassy with something.

The blood drained from your face as you poured through your last words. You had never meant to say that. Because you weren't in love with her. Couldn't be. There was no love in your heart, especially for her.

"I..."

Lena's fingers twitched, the urge to reach out overwhelming as she silently begged you to stay. To help her understand.

"(Y/N)-"

Shaking your head violently, you jerked backward. "No! No, no, no. I don't - I can't - fuck!"

Red lips dipped open but you didn't stay long enough to hear what she had to stay.

Fire erupted...

And then you were gone.

[captain-josslett]

Broken Melody - Part Twenty

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten, Part Eleven, Part Twelve, Part Thirteen, Part Fourteen, Part Fifteen, Part Sixteen, Part Seventeen, Part Eighteen, Part Nineteen...

Summary: Grammy Award winning Emma Danvers is the first to say she has a pretty good life. But what happens when it implodes around her and it looks like things will never be the same again?

Words: 5.8k+

Warnings: Angst, Fluff.

Pairings: Emma Danvers x Lena Luthor

This Part: Emma tries to work through everything and continues to struggle with not seeing her sisters.

So, so, sorry it’s been a while since updating. I’ve started a full time job and my mind just hasn’t been able to write 😅 But I do get to daydream when I work so I have loads of ideas stored away and hopefully will be able to update quicker.

Thank you for reading and let me know if you wanna be tagged or any general feedback will be greatly appreciated. Please! I like knowing your thoughts.

Taglist: @finleyfray​​, @life-is-hella-unfair​, @natasha-danvers​, @supergirl-writingz​, @camslightstories​, @thinking1bee​, @aznblossom​,

Ten year old Emma Danvers jumps awake when she hears a blood curdling scream. For a few moments she blinks into her dark room, confused at the noise that woke her. But when a softer wail fills the silence Emma quickly rolls out of bed. Recognising the cries coming from her recently adopted kryptonian sister, Kara.

Emma pads out of her small room and into the hallway, yawning and tiredly rubbing her eyes as she gently pushes Alex and Kara’s bedroom door open. Kara’s whimpering increases in volume as Emma enters the room. She softly closes the door behind her and quietly tiptoes over to Kara’s bed.

Emma sadly looks over at her oldest sister, Alex, who is turned away from the crying alien. Seemingly ignoring Kara’s pain. This annoys Emma greatly and the sisters have already argued over it. The blonde had even offered to swap rooms with Alex but the redhead stubbornly refused saying it was her room.

“Kara?” Emma whispers softly and waits for the crying figure to respond. Tearful blue eyes peer over the shaking duvet before quickly disappearing again.

Emma looks mournfully down at the other blonde as she thinks of ways to help her. After a few moments Emma lifts the corner of the covers and climbs into Kara’s bed. She gently reaches out and hugs Kara close, remembering how her Mom would comfort her after she’d have a bad dream.  

Her new sister flinches slightly at the touch but soon Emma feels Kara settle and maneuver around to hug her back. The alien starts to shake as she tries to stifle her sobs into Emma’s shoulder.

Emma’s heart aches at the sound. She pulls her head back so she can see Kara’s face. The night light illuminates Kara’s flushed cheeks and bloodshot eyes. “No, it’s okay to cry. Mom said you get sick if you try to keep your tears in.” Emma tries to encourage the alien. Though she doesn’t know if Kara can fully understand her yet. However, Kara’s face scrunches up and fresh tears fall.

“It’s okay.” Emma says soothingly while stroking her hair.

“S-s-sing?” Kara gulps out and buries her head back into Emma’s little shoulder.

“Which one?” Emma asks softly and Kara thinks for a moment but shakes her head as she sniffs heavily. “Okay.” Emma purses her lips forward as she thinks about the other songs she has sung to Kara. “I got it.”

Somewhere over the rainbow, Way up high, There’s a land that I’ve heard of, Once in a lullaby.

Emma immediately feels Kara relaxing as she continues to quietly sing. The sisters had recently watched ‘The Wizard of Oz’ with Kara because Emma wanted to show her new sister one of her favourite films. The alien had truly been fascinated with the movie and Emma couldn’t help but watch Kara’s reactions to certain parts. How Kara’s face lit up when Dorthy opened the door to a world of colour or how freaked out Kara got when the Wicked Witch appeared in a plume of red smoke and disappearing in a blaze of fire.

Somewhere over the rainbow, Bluebirds fly, Birds fly over the rainbow, Why then oh why can’t I?

As Emma nears the end of the song Kara’s sobs start to die down, being replaced with shuddering breaths. The twelve year old alien clings tightly to the little human, the pressure hurts Emma slightly but she knows Kara doesn’t mean to hurt her and she is not use to her super strength yet.

Emma stares over at Alex’s back. Not knowing if the redhead was awake or asleep. But Emma guesses she is awake by how she is breathing. Silently Emma hopes her oldest sister will come around to Kara.

Yes it had been a shock when Superman brought his older, but now younger, alien cousin to them but Emma was overcome with curiosity and intrigue over the other blonde. She tried to communicate with the alien and found a way through hand gestures and persistence. Repeating words for Kara and pointing items out. Mainly important things like water, food, Star Wars and everything a ten year old finds important. Once Eliza found Emma talking to the Kryptonian about the different plants and vegetables in the garden and Kara patiently listened. Fascinated by the texture of the leaves and the words Emma was saying. Both missing the scowling glare Alex was giving them from her bedroom window.

Emma then presented the wooden swords her dad had made. Giving Kara Alex’s and demonstrating how to sword fight. Soon the two blonde’s were giggling while twirling around and bashing each other’s swords. Until Alex furiously stormed over to them and took her sword away from Kara. Grumbling it was hers and she was going to break it. Jeremiah immediately set to work making Kara one of her own. Which the two blonde’s watched with tilted heads.

But when Jeremiah told them to go play and leave him to concentrate Emma took Kara back into the house, trying to figure out more things to show her new sister. She had already displayed her seashell collection, which Kara analysed deeply and Emma noticed a crinkle appearing between the other blonde’s eyebrows.

Emma looks around the house and her eyes fall on her art supplies. Making Kara jump when she claps her hands together in excitement.

“I hope you like art! Alex doesn’t really, which is sad but she likes her own things. Like reading. Reading is okay but I much prefer doing something.” Emma smiles at Kara who smiles politely. “Have a seat.” Emma points at the dining room table and Kara complies. The ten year old then pulls out all of her art supply to show Kara. She watched as the alien’s blue eyes lit up behind her glasses.

“Did you do art on Krypton?” Emma asks, happy that she may have found something Kara enjoys.

Kara nods and the pair quietly sit for hours as they draw and paint. Emma didn’t mind Kara using most of the red paint and was pleased she thought of a good idea.

She hardly sees Alex, seemingly too moody that she wasn’t the centre of attention in the Danvers household anymore. Keeping to herself and barely talking to her baby sister.

Weeks turned into months and slowly Alex seemed to warm up to the new addition to the family. Especially when Kara defended Emma against a group of bullies. Standing with her little sister and ready to defend her. Alex marched over and stood next to her side, ready to punch any bully in the face that hurts either of her sisters. This was the moment Kara uttered her family motto, explaining they were stronger together.

The three started to become closer over time and would regularly be found in the forest by their home playing and having adventures.

On one such occasion a fifteen year old Alex and twelve year old Emma teamed up together as heroes to try and take down the evil villain that was destroying their town of Midvale.

“Psfft I don’t see the target. Over.” Emma quietly talks into the walkie talkie and holds her wooden sword tightly in her other hand.

“Please tell me you did not just make the static noise?” Alex laughs while rolling her eyes.

“Ah come on Al! Plus you need to say over. Over.”

“Fine.” Alex sasses back. “Over.” The redhead continues to look around, listening intently for the fourteen year old Kara. Having a sneaky suspicion that her alien sister was using her powers. Which was against the rules.

“Psttf I have an idea. Over” Emma’s voice whispers out from the walkie talkie.

“And what is that?” Alex responds quickly. “Over.”

“What if we do what that guy did in that movie. Over.”

“Vague… We watch loads of movies dork.” Alex rolls her eyes again at her little sister’s comment. She twirls her bow in her hand as she waits for Emma’s response.

“You know he sacrifices himself. Draws the evil guy out and gives the hero a chance to defeat them. Over.”

“Not a bad idea. Especially if you are the bait.” Alex chuckles and shakes her head. “Over.”

“Let’s do it by the fallen tree in the clearing? You can hide and I’ll call for her. Over.” Alex smirks at the excitement within Emma’s voice.

“Sure Peanut. Over.”

Alex quietly jogs to the huge fallen tree. Constantly on the lookout for Kara. But her adopted alien sister is nowhere to be seen. As Alex approaches the clearing she sees Emma step out of the other end and start to look around. Their eyes immediately connect, as if Emma could sense where she was and Alex quickly hides within some bushes and waits. Readying her bow and arrow. Making sure the arrow was a dummy that would only sting Emma slightly if she got in the way.

Emma waits for Alex to get into position and cups her hands over her mouth, yelling loudly. “Kara?! Hey Kara!” She waits and soon enough a blur appears before her. “Hey! You used your powers!”

“Well as a villain of course I would!” Kara bites back slyly with a grin.

“You really are evil!” Emma gasps dramatically, raising a hand to her chest.

“And when I am finished with you I will hunt your sister down and hurt her! And your little dog too!” Kara slowly takes a few menacing steps towards Emma who stands her ground.

“No! Not Alex and Toto!” Emma’s eyes fill with tears. Alex is always blown away that her baby sister can cry on demand and would often use her sister’s talent to get extra treats from their Mom or sitter.

“Little one?” Kara asks, concerned enough to break character.

“They are fake, keep going! You’re doing really well!” Emma gives Kara a smile before filling her eyes with tears again. “You will never get away with this!” Emma yells dramatically, pointing at Kara.

‘Give her the damn Oscar!’ Alex thinks with a smile as she watches the blonde’s.

Kara nods and puts a sly smirk back on her face. “But I already have!”

“No! You will never win! Good always defeats evil, you piece of bantha fodder!”

Alex snorts at Emma’s Star Wars reference and readies herself, knowing she’ll need to spring out at any moment.

“How dare you insult me! Me the mistress of all evil! You are nothing but the dirt on the bottom of my shoe!” Kara yells as she reaches for her wooden sword. Emma circles around so Kara’s back is to their eldest sister. “Now prepare to meet your doom!”

“Not if I can help it!” Alex suddenly appears behind them and fires her bow and arrow at the blonde. Hitting Kara’s right shoulder where it harmlessly falls to the ground.

“No! Ow!” Kara screams and collapses to her knees. “Damn you!” She coughs comically and falls to the floor.

Emma snorts and places a hand over her mouth.

“Emma! It’s rude to mock the dead.” Alex scolds her little sister.

“Sorry.” The blonde tries to wipe the smile off her face and make her expression natural.

“Who says I’m dead?” Kara’s muffled voice pipes up from the ground.

“Well the arrow would have been made out of a substance that could kill you and due to my excellent marksmanship it went through your heart. Killing you instantly.” Alex explains as she twirls the bow around.

Kara lifts her head up and smirks at the redhead. “You hit me in the right shoulder. My heart is on the left dummy.”

Emma snorts again which erupts into loud laughter when Alex glares at her. “Great shooting Alex!”

“Which means… Sneak attack!” Kara yells while pulling Emma onto the floor and starts tickling her.

“Nooo!!” Emma screams with laughter and tries to get out of her sister’s grip. “Please! Stop! Argh! Alex! Help!”

The redhead watches the pair with amusement before stepping in. “I’ll help you!” Alex yells theatrically. But instead of aiding Emma she joins in with Kara.

“Traitor!” Emma gasps out. “You’re… My sister!”

“And? Maybe I purposefully aimed for Kara’s right shoulder to take down the real villain!”

“Dun dun dunnnnn!” Kara laughs out as she continues ticking the thrashing blonde.

“Please stop! I’m gonna pee!” Tears of laughter stream down Emma’s face and the sisters finally stop their attack.

Alex smirks at her baby sister as Emma wipes the tears from her face, the redhead then looks up at the sky. “It’s getting late, we better head back.” She stands to her feet and holds out her hands for her sisters to take, helping Kara and Emma stand. The sister’s turn towards home and walk together in unison, laughing and joking together. Ready to take on the world.

-- -- --

Present day Emma stares out of the DEO window while plucking at her guitar while her mind wanders through her memories with her sisters. Though she can’t really remember the time before Kara came. To her Kara has always been there.

Slowly her mind starts to filter through the session she had with Alistair. They had worked on her fuzzy memories of the attack. How they are slowly coming back into focus but seemingly her brain was protecting her by blocking most of it out. Emma had projected the hurtful words spoken by her sisters that Emma does remember. That a part of her believes making her insecurities bubble up to the surface.

Lily, Alistair’s white german shepherd, had almost instantly jumped up on Emma’s bed and placed her head in Emma’s lap. Staying there throughout the session. Helping to ground Emma and when she got emotional or experienced a flashback, Lily had been a comforting presence.

A noise by Emma’s open door draws her attention away from the window. Standing in the hall was a transfixed Winn with Brainy and Nia behind him.

Emma smirks and waves at the trio. Stopping the music seemingly snaps them out of their trance.

“Hi Em.” Winn smiles brightly as he approaches one of the chairs around Emma’s bed. Emma returns his smile but it is more subdued. “You okay?” He frowns at the blonde, noticing her lack of a smile. He places the food container on the tray table by Emma and she nods while pulling the table closer to her. Her smile brightens slightly when she sees the sausages, vegetables and mash potato.

“Doctor Hamilton said you can start trying some form of solid foods and as I know you like that British restaurant down the road we thought lunch could be a bit more international.”

‘So the Tai food the other day wasn’t international enough for you?’ Emma wants to say but doesn’t write it down. Instead letting out a breathy snort as she starts cutting into the food.

“Oh yea Doc also said to cut it up real small. Chew lots before swallowing” Winn lists off the instructions Doctor Hamilton had told him while opening his container. Watching as Emma nods in response. “Enjoy your bangers and mash!”

Emma lets out a breathy laugh, remembering the weird names the Brits call their food. ‘Spotted Dick’ being her favourite by far. Not believing they would call a fruit, sponge dessert by that name, but had been proved wrong when the amused waiter brought the pudding out for Emma to try. Despite the very off putting name, Emma thoroughly enjoyed it. Almost having to fight off her bandmates to eat all of it in peace.

“Have you been to the UK Winn?” Nia asks, filling the silence.

“Yea I have. Both future and present.”

Emma lifts an eyebrow in response. Wondering what life is like in the future and being frustrated that Winn was keeping so tight lipped about it all.

“Awesome! I haven’t yet but it’s on my bucket list.” Nia replies enthusiastically, a longing look fills her eyes.

“Did you know the British public consume over sixty billion cups of tea a year. Around 100 million each day.” Brainy chimes into the conversation, causing Nia and Winn to gape at him about the statistic.

Emma continues to listen to her friends talking. Wishing she could join in and tell them about her time in the UK. But also being aware of how painfully slow conversation flows when she has to write everything down.

Sighing deeply Emma shoves more food in her mouth. Thankful that Winn chose something she enjoys. To be fair Emma likes anything. Other than Marmite… A disgusting yeast spread that half of Brits like. One of her stage managers in the UK dared Emma to try it. Making the blonde gag and causing her to drink loads of water to get rid of the horrible taste in her mouth.

“Emma?” Nia calls out, breaking Emma’s train of thought. “You’ve been to the UK many times right?” Emma nods. “Have you seen the Queen?” Emma nods again.

“What when?” Winn asks with a mouthful of food and his eyebrows almost up to his hairline.

Emma quietly sighs and grabs her notebook, keenly aware of the silence in the room as she writes.

‘The Royal Variety Performance.’

“Ah yea!” Nia smiles remembering the video she found on youtube after Kara first told her about Emma. She had been transfixed by Axis’ music and Emma’s performance. Singing a powerful ballad that moved the brunette to tears. Nia had spent hours upon hours going through Axis’ social media and debated about whether to send Emma a friend request. The brunette had squealed loudly when Emma had accepted and immediately messaged her,

A knock stops Nia from asking more questions as Emma looks over to see Lucy standing awkwardly by the door. Emma can’t help but shift uncomfortably in the bed, hoping Lucy has calmed down from earlier this morning.

“Don’t worry, I’m not here to yell at you.” Lucy says as if she has read Emma’s mind. “May I come in?”

Emma nods before turning back to her meal. Though she feels like she has lost her appetite.

Lucy glances at the three friends who give her looks of encouragement as she cautiously approaches Emma’s bed, watching the blonde push her food around.

“Can I sit here?” Lucy points to the end of the bed and Emma nods without looking up at her. Lucy lowers onto the bed and takes a deep breath. “So, I’m sorry about earlier. I overreacted when I found out you were missing and you are like a sister to me and I got so scared-” Lucy lifts a hand to her head trying to find the words to how terrified she had felt when Emma wasn’t in her room or in the building. She immediately rushed down to the cells but when there was no sign of Emma anywhere the brunette really panicked.

A hand grasps her knee and Lucy’s green eyes snap up to Emma’s. “Sorry.” Lucy breathes out and Emma gives her a timid smile. “So, we also need to discuss the next steps. Mainly the timeline of your recovery because we cannot disclose the Phoenix serum.”

Emma nods and leans back against the bed.

“How long would this timeline be?” Winn asks with a frown.

“We are trying to not make it overly long. Doctor Hamilton did say wounds like Emma’s would have taken at least 3 months to heal fully and she’d be bed bound for a while.”

“But Emma isn’t bed bound.” Nia blinks in confusion. “Would Emma need to stay here?”

“Or in her apartment.” Lucy looks at the blonde mournfully, who deeply swallows in response. Not liking the sound of that at all. Not feeling at all ready to go back to the apartment. Even after J’onn had told her a crew had made it good as new, with no evidence of the incident.

“There would be a huge media frenzy if any photos come out of you like this. The world thinks you can barely open your eyes and hardly move due to the amount of broken bones you have.”

Alarm fills Emma and she quickly grabs her notebook to write.

‘Robyn?!’

“Ah yea. I had her sign a NDA.” Lucy rolls her eyes. “She was annoyingly persistent. I thought you hated each other?” Emma shakes her head and lets out a breathy chuckle. “Jack isn’t far behind, though I’m trying to hold him off for as long as possible.”

Relief starts to filter in and Emma nods before starting to write again. She bites the inside of her lip at the thought of returning back to her apartment. Not sure she’s ready or even wants to go back there.

‘How do you propose we move forward?’ She holds the pad up and watches her friend’s face as she reads.

Lucy hesitates slightly before unlocking her tablet to bring up the timeline. “We will need to stage photos and videos showing your recovery and release them at the right time.” Lucy looks down at her notes. “We do have some already but I’d be happier if we do more.”

Emma glumly sighs causing Lucy to glance back up at her.

“I’m sorry Em but we need to do this to keep the media off our backs. J’onn and I had hoped it would have died down but everyone is still up in arms about what happened.”

Emma’s expression morphs into one of shock and disbelief. She quickly writes one word before showing the lawyer.

‘Why?’

“Because those that listen to your music feel a powerful connection towards you. Even though they have not met you or know you personally.” Brainy explains simply.

“And the attack has brought your music to the attention of more people.” Winn points out.

“Tell me about it.” Lucy says exasperatedly and runs a hand through her hair. “I had a three hour debate with your record label as they want to release the work you’ve done on your new album. Even the covers you’ve been sending Lena.”

Emma immediately shakes her head quickly at the idea. Causing a ringing in her ears.

“Yea I told them they can shove it.” Lucy agrees and quickly takes a piece of sausage from Emma’s container. Almost getting her hand stabbed from Emma’s fork.

Emma playfully glares at the brunette and Lucy sticks her tongue out before popping the meat into her mouth. Emma shakes her head and starts writing.

‘So I will be under house arrest?’

“I’m afraid so.” Lucy says softly, causing Emma’s shoulders to slump and her expression becomes sullen.

“I may be able to help with that.” Winn pipes up, causing Emma and Lucy to stare at him. “I, with Brainy and Lena’s help, could develop a face modifier. That way Emma can move around freely and not disrupt the timeline.”

“That could work.” Lucy squints her eyes as she considers the idea.

“May help Alex and Kara to know Emma is moving around too. I’ve never seen them so broken, I mean poor Alex, you would have thought Kelly would have stood by her and not run away-” Nia comments passionately and Emma freezes.

Horror fills Emma's whole body. She remembers Alex telling her the morning before the attack that she and Kelly were having problems but Emma never imagined Kelly would leave Alex like this. Especially with what her sister is going through.

Immediately Emma leaps out of bed and sprints to the door. She needs to see her sisters. Her heart aches knowing they are both in pain. That they are broken.

“Emma?!” Her friends yells fill the hallway as they chase after her. Agents seemingly appear ahead of her but the blonde easily sidesteps them. Using the training Alex had taught her in self defence.

As soon as she reaches the end of the corridor the blonde slides into the wall and repeatedly slams her hand on the elevator button. When it becomes obvious the doors won’t open quick enough she dashes towards the door to the stairs. Her determination gives her tunnel vision and she ignores those around her.

Until someone leaps on her back.

“Emma stop!” Lucy yells as she clings to Emma, wrapping her arms and legs around the blonde. Halting Emma from leaving the floor. “I’m sorry but they aren’t ready to see you. I’m so sorry.”

Emma tries to get Lucy off her back but the brunette has too good a grip. The blonde heaves in heavy breaths and her face scrunches up as she starts to silently cry. She longs to hold her sisters. To reassure them they are okay.

A ping announces an elevator has arrived. Emma turns her head to gaze longingly at it but feels Lucy’s grip tighten around her chest.

“Emma please.”

The blonde watches mournfully as the doors close.

When it becomes apparent that Emma won’t be running down to the cells Lucy slides off her back.

The brunette sadly looks at the tears streaming down her friend’s face. Placing a gentle hand on Emma’s shoulder Lucy guides her back to the room.

“Emma.” Nia squeaks out with wide eyes as she walks with the pair. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t think-”

The blonde reaches out and squeezes Nia’s hand. Giving her a barely there smile which Nia returns with an encouraging one of her own.

Emma re-enters the room and sits heavily on her bed. Staring out of the window.

“Em?” Winn asks softly, causing Emma to slightly move her head and focus on him. “Are you gonna finish that?” Winn points at the half eaten food.

Emma shakes her head before turning back to the window. She ignores the yelp of pain from Winn when Lucy slaps his arm as he reaches out for the discarded food. Purposefully tuning out the conversation in the room.

Instead, focusing on the world outside of the DEO. The airplanes that zoom across the sky, the birds that flutter past the window and settle on the sill. The traffic down an avenue she can see. Anything to try and keep her mind from acknowledging the pain she’s feeling. The thoughts that are screaming in her mind about her sisters.

“-ma?” Winn’s voice breaks through as she recognises he’s calling out to her. Slowly she turns to look at him. “We’re going back to work. I- er- left your food.”

Emma looks down at the tray and sees that Winn hasn’t touched it. She nods and lifts the right corner of her mouth slightly to show her appreciation.

Emma eyes flick to Nia as she cautiously approaches her. “Can I give you a hug?” Emma nods and opens her arms. Nia immediately dives into them. “Message me if you need me.” Emma nods again and squeezes the superhero. When Nia steps back Winn is already there with his arms open, waiting for a hug. Making Emma voicelessly snort.

“Ah come on!” Winn whines and Emma motions for him to hug her. He does immediately and Emma can’t help but feel more of her anxiety melt away. “If you need anything just give a shout.” Winn says as he pulls away. Emma raises an eyebrow at him and can’t help but smile at the look of horror that comes across his face. Especially when Brainy, Nia and Lucy lower their heads into their hands. “Em. I’m so sorry I-”

Emma immediately lifts a hand to his lips, silencing him. Thankfully he complies, instead gaping at her like a goldfish.

“See you later Emma.” Brainy nods at her before quickly leaving the room, already analysing his tablet at ideas for a face modifier. Nia forcefully grabs Winn’s hand and pulls him out with her.

“I can stay if you want me to?” Lucy asks as she hovers by the bed and massages her shoulder.

Emma is tempted to shake her head but instead she nods. Not wanting to be alone right now.

“Okay great!” Lucy beams at her. “Do you want to do anything? I mean I have work I can be doing but I can watch a film with you or we could play a card game? Chess?”

Emma looks over at the chessboard on the coffee table by the sofa. Lena had brought it in to give Emma something else to do. But the board is currently being taken up by an intense game the girlfriends were playing. Emma reaches for her notebook and writes a response.

‘Lena will immediately say she’s won if we mess the board up.’

“Ah! We can’t have that!” Lucy jokes and sits on the end of Emma’s bed. Her expression becomes sombre as she studies the blonde closely and Emma stares right back. “Are you okay?”

Emma looks between Lucy’s questioning green eyes and slowly shakes her head.

Lucy reaches out and gently holds Emma’s hand. “I’m here if you want to discuss it.”

Emma’s eyes start to glisten with tears and she wipes at them in exasperation.

“Hey, hey, hey.” Lucy grabs Emma’s hand to halt her rubbing. “It’s okay to cry. God knows I’m done my fair share recently.”

Emma tilts her head and frowns slightly.

“What?” Lucy mirrors Emma’s expression. The blonde lets go of Lucy’s hand and starts writing.

‘What do you mean?’

“About what?” Lucy asks, confusion written across her face.

‘What have you been crying about?’

“About you! And Alex and Kara! This whole shit show!” Lucy says bitterly and watches Emma move her pen to paper. “And don’t even think about writing that you are not worth my tears cause you fucking are!”

Emma eyes’s snap up to Lucy’s and her mouth drops open. She was going to write exactly that.

“I’m right aren’t I?”

Emma shuts her mouth and shakes her head.

“Bull.” Lucy narrows her eyes. “Have you forgotten I am a lawyer? And a damn good one at that?”

Emma smiles sadly and looks down to write. ‘Yea you are. Frustratingly so.’

“Unless I’m the one defending you right?” Lucy raises an eyebrow and Emma nods, her smile turning more genuine. “So, do you wanna write about it? You don’t have to, I just-” Lucy hesitates, sighing deeply as she chooses her words. “I worry about you and I wish I could make everything better.”

‘I know.’

“You totally wrote that with Han Solo in mind didn’t you?”

Emma lets out a breathy snort and Lucy laughs loudly.

“You're such a nerd.” Lucy teases and Emma just shrugs. But her smile fades and the blonde gazes down at the paper as she thinks about her sisters. “Em?”

Emma takes a breath and starts writing. Lucy watches her and the expressions Emma makes as she scribbles her thoughts down. In these moments Lucy really misses Emma’s voice and her anger bubbles up at whoever did this to her friend. But before Lucy’s anger simmers up anymore Emma turns the notepad around.

‘I just feel so helpless. We’ve always done everything together and I’m happy they have each other but I want to be there with them. Dad always joked we were like a three legged stool. When one of us wasn’t at home we almost couldn’t function. I get what you are saying that they aren’t ready to see me... But I just miss them so much.’

“Aw Em.” Lucy says sympathetically after she reads. Her eyes flick back up to Emma’s. “It will get better. I know that doesn’t help right now. But, it will.”

Emma nods and leans back against the bed.

“So, what do you want to do?”

‘Okay if I paint?’

“Of course it is! I’ll just work here on my tablet.” Lucy smiles reassuringly at Emma and hops off the bed. She pauses and turns back around to Emma. “Hug?”

Emma smiles and opens her arms. Lucy wraps her arms around the blonde and tries to convey how much she cares for her in it.

After Lucy sits in a chair to work she can’t help but watch how Emma morphs into her creative mode. How the blonde focuses solely on what she’s doing with her paint brush. The way Emma’s eyes squint and her tongue slightly pokes out to the side.

Lucy smiles and tries to concentrate on her own work. Leaving the pair in peaceful silence.

-- -- --

Many hours later there is a knock on the door. Lucy glances up as Lena and Sam enter the room.

“Hi!” Lucy greets the friends happily and turns to look at Emma. The blonde is still so busy with what she’s doing she hasn’t noticed the new arrivals.

It’s only when Emma cleans her brushes, happy with what she’s done, does she sense Lena’s presence in the room. She quickly looks up towards the sofa where Lena, Sam and Lucy are sitting. Seemingly halting their conversation as the trio notice Emma’s focus on them. Lena can’t help but greet her girlfriend with a beaming smile.

“Hi love.” Lena says while standing and approaches the blonde. Emma waves at her but gives her a questioning look. “I didn’t want to disturb you.” Lena gracefully sits on the bed next to Emma and softly kisses the blonde’s lips. “You were so engrossed in what you were doing.”

“Sorry.”

“No don’t be! I’m glad you are painting.” Lena smiles reassuringly at her girlfriend. Her smiles then morphs into a shy one. “I- er- got you something.”

Emma tilts her head and her eyes bulge when Lena lifts a huge bouquet of flowers up. Having not noticed them when the raven haired beauty walked in or when she came over to the bed.

“Wow!” Emma signs and she reaches out to touch a red rose. Feeling the softness of the petal and admiring the colour.

“The florist told me the roses mean love, obviously. The baby breath is everlasting love. The-” Lena pauses as she tries to remember the meaning of the other flowers. Emma starts kissing her cheek making Lena beam and lean into them. “Em! I’m trying to think!” Emma pulls away and rests her chin on Lena’s shoulder. “So, the daisies are my love is pure and the tulips all have different meanings, the red being eternal love, the orange desire and passion, yellow happiness and sunshine and the cream tulips-” Lena gently moves her girlfriend’s head so she can gaze deeply into Emma’s slightly bloodshot eyes. “I will love you forever.”

She watches as Emma melts and her eyes glisten with tears. The blonde tilts her head and slowly leans towards her girlfriend. Lena copies her and they gently kiss but before they can deepen it further and noise fills the room.

“Blurgh!” Lucy yells out, pretending to heave. Emma furiously pulls away and flips her off. Glaring at the brunette before turning back to her girlfriend.

“Thank you. I love them.”

“I’m glad.” Lena smirks at the blonde and Emma carefully places the bouquet on the tray table. Making sure not to knock any of the other stuff on there. “So, how's your head?”

“Haven’t had any complaints yet.” Emma signs cheekily and Lena roars with laughter.

“What did she say?” Sam looks between the two girlfriends, wanting to know why Lena reacted the way she did.

“Haven’t had any complaints yet.” Lena responds while continuing to laugh, causing the two brunettes to join in with her and Emma just smiles happily at them as she snuggles into her girlfriend.

(Part Twenty One)

[thinking1bee]

When It Reigns Part 13

Requested by Anonymous

Pairings: Kara Danvers x Reader

Tags: Angst, Kryptonian!Reader, Parent!Reader, Parent!Kara, Estranged Parent, Graphic Depictions of Injuries, Blood, Humor, Bad Dreams, Memory Loss

Everything Taglist: @sammy90682 @nobody13 @owloftheshadows @captain-josslett @camslightstories @worldovart @finleyfray @acertainredhead @sammm9068 @reginassecretlover

Lena walked into her brother’s lead lined mansion moments before the sophisticated cloaking device turned the entire structure invisible. It was a rather genius idea, something that Lena would rather die than admit to that homicidal maniac. No one knew of its existence besides Lex and their mother. The only reason why she had access to it was because of L-Corp. After assuming ownership of the Luthorcorp company and rebranding it L-Corp, Lena went through all of Lex’s private files and found the blueprints for this. Curiosity got the better of her and followed the coordinates to the massive, but empty, plot of land that noted. At first, she thought that the mansion hadn’t been built yet, and was just about to leave, when she noticed the breaker box near the telephone pole. Why was there a box when there was nothing out here? After flipping the switch, the mansion materialized right before her eyes.

She never made a habit to visit there. Too much of it reeked of Lex, and there was this creepy portrait of their mother whose eyes seemed to follow you around the room. That was more than enough to convince her not to go back. However, with everything that happened with you, Kara, and Angel, she made an exception. She hid Angel here after picking her up from the arcade and she left her personal driver to look after her. Of course, he was sworn to secrecy and paid handsomely for his troubles. Now, Lena walked the halls as she searched for Angel.

“Angel?” she called out. Lena heard the clacks of the crutches as she rounded the corner and waved shyly. Immediately behind her was her driver.

“Take the rest of the day off,” she said to him.

“Yes, ma’am.”

Angel watched him leave before coming closer to Lena. Her eyes got big when she saw the bruise on her neck.

“What happened to you???”

Lena offered a small smile. Her neck was throbbing, and Kara had been right about the painkillers. She took some before leaving her lab, but they weren’t strong enough. She would need something a bit more potent.

“I had a little accident at the lab.”

“Are you okay?” Angel asked. Lena nodded, though the movement did agitate her injury.

“Yes. I’ll be fine. How about you? How’s the leg?”

“It itches so bad. I wish I had a stick or something to shove down there and just scratch the crap out of it.”

Lena chuckled as she put down her things. “I can only imagine, but you’re not in pain?”

Angel shook her head. “No, I’m okay.”

“Have you eaten?”

“Yeah, did you know Gary used to be a chef? He made me homemade ravioli! It was so good!”

Lena did know in fact. Prior to hiring him, she had an extensive background check ran. She wanted no unwanted surprises and if she even had to dip into his medical records, then so be it. So yes, she knew that Gary used to be a chef. She also knew that he had pancreatic cancer. Secretly, Lena was paying for his treatments while also sending additional money on top of his regular paycheck so that he could take care of his family. Lena smiled.

“Well, I am very happy that Gary has taken such good care of you. I should do something for him.”

Angel smiled for a second more before her face fell. Lena watched as she rubbed her arm sadly.

“What’s wrong?”

“When can I talk to my moms?” Angel asked.

Lena could hear the worry in her voice, and she could feel the anxiety roll of from her in waves. Being here for her must feel like an expensive prison, and Lena felt bad. But it was necessary for her protection. You and Kara would want her as far away from the danger as possible.

“Your momma just wants to keep you safe. She knows you’re here.”

“Then why hasn’t she called?”

Honestly, Lena didn’t know why, at least not for sure. She could guess but Angel deserved more than just speculation. Lena wished that she could just tell her the truth about everything but how would it help?

“I wish I could tell you, kiddo.”

Lena was about to say something else when her phone chimed. She reached into her bag to grab the device and saw that she got a text from Kara.

I found Y/n. Keep Angel safe.

Lena sent a quick message back before she turned back to Angel.

“We have some time to kill. Is there anything that you want to do?” she asked. She at her bag and phone down as she took off her heels.

Angel watched her movements closely before smiling.

“Can we watch the Wizard of Oz?”

Lena smiled. “Of course! I love that movie.”

She turned on her heel and left for the living room. Angel watched her leave too, her eyes shifting to her phone quickly as a plan formed in her mind.

***

Kara had just seen Reign and was quick to whip her phone out of her boot to text Lena. The moment the text was sent, she put the phone away and flew to where Reign was destroying a building with her laser vision.

“Stop this now!” Kara commanded.

Reign smirked before turning to face her. Now that she wasn’t wearing her Worldkiller suit, Kara could easily see that it was you. She wore your face, and she was twisting it from a face associated with love and warmth, to one that struck fear in people’s hearts.

“Oh, your back.”

Kara didn’t know what to do. While she knew that you weren’t Reign, she also didn’t want to fight you. You were in there somewhere and she didn’t want to hurt you. Her heart ached at the predicament she faced.

“I can’t let you do this, Reign!”

“Really? And what will you do to stop me? Fight me? Would you really do that knowing that Y/n is still here?”

Kara clenched her fists, her eyes blurring over with frustrated tears.

“Don’t make me do it,” she whispered broken heartedly. “Please don’t.”

Reign laughed maliciously. “How pitiful. The Girl of Steel begging me not to fight? You have been in my way since day one. It would pleasure me immensely to see you break!”

There was no way around it. She would have to fight Reign and risk hurting you in the process, but she wanted to try one more thing.

“Please Y/n, please!” she begged. More tears fell down her cheeks. “I know you can hear me. Please fight her!”

Reign laughed again. “Yes, please Y/n. Come save the day!” she said mockingly.

Kara steadied herself and squared her shoulders. She wiped the tears away roughly. If this what Reign wanted, then she got it.

So be it.

***

You were wonderingly aimlessly through the forest. How long has it been since you were here? Minutes? Hours?

Days…

Years…

You didn’t know anymore. Wait…

Why were you here? You stumbled over a branch and fell on your hands and knees. The twigs and uneven ground bit into your palms as you breathed from exertion. Sweat trickled down your forehead as your vision swam. Were you always alone? You looked around at the fog and shadows. They stretched on for miles and miles, and it felt like you’d been walking for a lifetime. You had the feeling that you weren’t always alone. You were here with someone.

What was their name..?

What was your name? How come you didn’t know who you were? Something like that would be very important. You knew that you had a life outside of this forest. You had a wife, Kara. And you had a daughter.

What was her name..?

At that thought, you felt your heart do a flip and you got up shakily to stand. You have a wife. You have a daughter!

You have a daughter! You have a daughter! You have a daughter!

What is her name?!

Your breathing increased as panic overtook you. You had to keep moving. You had to keep moving forward and you had to remember your daughter. Right, left. One foot in front of the other.

Think, Y/n. Think!

“Why can’t I remember her name?!” you screamed. You were crying now, your hands grabbing your head roughly as you struggled to remember.

It was this place! You were losing your mind! It was making you forget everything that you were. It was killing you slowly.

Say your daughter’s name! You know it!

“Angel!” you finally screamed. “My daughter’s name is Angel!”

You dropped to your knees and grabbed a piece of fractured rock. Using it, you wrote Angel’s name over and over on the trees and boulders. You scrawled her name on everything, the tears blurring your vision as they fell freely. You wrote like your very life depended on it. You had to stay strong. You had to survive this because if you didn’t, Reign would win, and you wouldn’t see your family ever again.

Part 14

[c-optimistic]

forgive

or, it takes sixteen weeks and one day for lena to forgive kara

She’d once had a nightmare about Lena discovering her secret in the worst possible way. It consisted of Kara being outed in the middle of a superhero-villain showdown, with her on her knees and with Lena’s wide-eyed look of betrayal burned into the back of her eyelids.

When she was feeling particularly masochistic, she’d continue the nightmare, trying to twist it and force it to conform to a reality she wanted. Lena would look betrayed, yes, but with Kara’s life on the line, a lie would seem trivial in comparison. (Never mind the fact that it was a series of lies, over the course of years, all despite the fact that Lena had trusted her with everything when Kara couldn’t do the same.)

They’d win in this scenario of Kara’s making, managing to twist the ending such that Lena would choose to vent her emotions by pulling Kara into an angry but relieved kiss and after a few days of space, Kara would reintroduce herself as Kara Danvers/Supergirl with an apology on her lips, and the promise of more shining in Lena’s eyes.

The reality she got, unfortunately, was much worse than her worst nightmares. It was cold eyes and an emotionless, vacant stare after the reveal. It was radio silence, it was a bitterly cold shoulder the one time Kara attempted to make contact, it was learning through Alex that Lena and James had decided to give it another go (and learning through Nia that it had fallen apart), it was blocked phone numbers and the loss of one of the most important people in her life.

Gone, as if she’d never been there—a clean, surgical cut.

And Kara....well, she sort of fell apart.

Week One

She’d never been addicted to anything, but she rather thought that this must have been what withdrawal felt like.

(Shockingly, she’d never quite realized just how integrated her life had become with Lena’s: it wasn’t just lunches and game nights and coffee dates, it was more. It was phone calls after a long day, texting throughout working hours—even if Lena’s responses sometimes came slowly, timed between meetings—and even spontaneous meet ups for Kara’s newest food craving or satisfying Lena’s need for a good work out.

She didn’t realize just how much she and Lena were intertwined until it all came to an end.)

The first day without Lena was agonizing. She kept turning to her phone, willing it to ring, willing it to vibrate with a notification, wondering where on Earth she’d ever gotten the idea that she’d be okay in a world where Lena Luthor hated her.

The second and third day, she spent an inordinate amount of time as Supergirl, purposefully flying past Lena’s building if only to get a hit, needing to hear Lena’s voice.

On the fifth day without Lena, Kara called in sick and laid in bed, staring at the ceiling as she wished for her best friend back.

And at the close of her first week without Lena in her life, Kara found herself in her sister’s arms, sobbing as she realized she really had no one to blame but herself.

Week Five

It wasn’t easier, it could never be that, but it was different.

(Sometimes, when she was least expecting it, she thought her chest rattled with a heaving breath, a repressed sob attempting to shake loose her lungs.

More often than not, however, all she felt was a dull ache, a hole—an emptiness—where her heart was supposed to be.)

She didn’t fly by L-Corp anymore. In fact, she was proud to say she was actually clean, not having watched Lena’s interviews online in order to take in her voice, not having asked Alex how her research project with Lena was going, and even smiling at James (mending her friendship with him, unable to keep pushing him away when he’d done nothing but care about Lena).

Lena’s absence was everywhere. Kara felt it literally all the time. But where it once paralyzed her, made her unable to keep her head on straight, it was now just something that dogged her every step, heavy and cumbersome.

(She wondered, idly, if this was what it meant to get over someone.)

Week Seven

The first time she spoke to Lena since revealing her identity should’ve been a bigger moment than it actually ended up being. She rather thought it should’ve been accompanied with fireworks and other fanfare, but instead it was a quiet moment at the DEO, when the latest threat on Lena’s life had left her no other choice but to call for Supergirl’s help.

“—and you can keep an eye out for anything suspicious from the sky, Supergirl,” Alex was saying, relaying her orders to the DEO agents before turning to Kara. “Provide backup.”

Lena snorted indelicately from where she stood, a large tablet in her hands, her eyes fixated on something on the screen with a focus Kara was sure was being faked. She must have noticed that everyone’s eyes were on her because she cleared her throat as she looked up, shrugging remorselessly. “What? No need to keep up the charade anymore, is there? We all know who’s under that cape, you can use her name.”

“Supergirl’s identity is secret, Lena,” Alex said, her tone harsher than anything Kara could remember her using with Lena before. They had remained friends, despite Kara’s estrangement with Lena (though Alex had assured Kara dozens of times that she would cut off ties as well if it would help—seeming to understand far too well when Kara had insisted Alex maintain her relationship with the Luthor).

“Alex, it’s fine,” Kara tried, placing her hand on Alex’s shoulder in an attempt to placate her. “I’ll just go. My comms are on if you need me.” She forced a smile, only briefly glancing at Lena before striding off.

She wondered if she was only imagining Lena’s gaze burning into her back, and she realized as she struggled with the weight on her back, that she most certainly wasn’t over Lena.

x

The wound she received from Lena’s would-be assassin wasn’t, by any measure, a bad one. In fact, Kara was rather sure it was similar to the papercut she’d gotten after she’d blown out her powers. She didn’t even need to spend any time under the sun lamps at the DEO, choosing instead to stand on the balcony to absorb the last of the sun’s rays as night began to slowly fall.

Thus, she was understandably surprised when she heard someone in heels walk up next to her, leaning against the railing, and even more surprised to realize that that someone was Lena.

“I heard you were hurt,” Lena said curtly, causing Kara to look at her in shock. Not that Lena noticed—her eyes were focused firmly on the setting sun. “Had to make sure that I can’t be blamed for anything that happened to Supergirl,” Lena continued coldly, “so I thought I’d check in.”

“I’m fine,” Kara said softly, unsure if her voice truly sounded so defeated or if that’s what she heard because that’s what she was feeling. Odd, really, after so much that it would be losing Lena that would break Kara down and surrender.

(Then again, perhaps it wasn’t so odd. Perhaps it should’ve been obvious. While Kara wasn’t sure she’d go as far as say that she was in love with Lena—loves her, sure, but in love was another matter entirely—she was in touch with her emotions enough to know that Lena’s presence and friendship was...priceless. It was everything. Even without all the romantic feelings tossed into the mix.

And to lose it? To watch Lena’s eyes grow hard and turn her back on Kara, on everything that was between them, all that history and affection, and yes, love? Well, it was heartbreaking.

All the more heartbreaking because Kara could’ve prevented it all. If only….)

“You’re bleeding,” Lena said dispassionately, gesturing to the small cut above Kara’s left eyebrow. It wasn’t even bleeding, and Kara was rather sure it would disappear in the next few minutes—with or without sun. Yet, with Lena’s eyes on it, Kara couldn’t help but reach up and press her fingers against the small wound, wondering if she was crazy and just imagining the look of concern in Lena’s eyes at the motion.

“I’m honestly fine,” Kara said quietly, dropping her hand and gaze, unable to meet Lena’s eyes anymore. Perhaps that was a good thing, because Lena’s next words nearly brought her to tears.

“Thank you, for saving my life today. I didn’t think you would—I didn’t know if….” She trailed off with a huff, as if unable to finish the sentence, but Kara heard her anyway. She wasn’t sure if Kara would want to help her, protect her, be on her side. And that, more than the disappearance of texts, more than the cold shoulder, more than the hard gaze, it was that that truly broke Kara’s heart.

How could she have strayed, done so much wrong, that it was enough to make Lena think that?

“I know my word doesn’t mean much to you anymore—for good reason,” she added when she could feel Lena take issue with her sentence, “but I promise you, I’m on your side. I’m here for you. Always.” Lena didn’t respond, merely cleared her throat and turned away, clearly about to head back inside. Kara’s eyes followed her and before she was even fully aware of what she was doing, she was speaking again, desperate to say something, desperate to explain somehow, someway. “Lena, wait.” To Kara’s ultimate surprise, Lena actually did pause, even turned back to face her, meeting her gaze evenly, as if merely looking at a stranger. “I...” Kara began, floundering now that she had Lena’s attention (after wishing for it for so long). “I never meant to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you. You’re my best friend, I love you.”

For a long moment, Lena was silent. Then, so quickly even Kara with her speed and super senses was unsure she saw it, pain flashed in Lena’s eyes. (Pain that she, Kara, caused. That she brought about.)

“That’s funny,” Lena finally said, her voice soft and tinged with so much that went unsaid. Things like, why; things like, how could you? “The only reason it hurt was because I loved you.” She waited just long enough for the words (and oh, the tense) to register, eyes raking over Kara’s face before she turned on her heel and walked away.

And she left Kara feeling as though Kryptonite was hanging on her neck: physically sick and ready to fall to her knees from the pain.

Week Twelve

“I told you she would hate you,” were the first words out of Lillian Luthor’s mouth when Kara visited her in prison, the guard grunting and eying Kara suspiciously before he slid out of the room. “You should have told her sooner.”

“Mrs. Luthor,” Kara tried, swallowing hard, “my name is Kara Danvers, I’m a reporter with CatCo Magazine. We’re publishing an issue about the lasting effects of the recent events involving Lex Luthor’s attempt to take over the world. Again. I was hoping you could answer a few questions about your son for the piece.”

(She had begged James to send someone else. Anyone else. But he’d been adamant: Lillian refused to speak to anyone but Kara and the magazine was desperate for her to go on the record for the first time.)

“I told Lena not to trust you. You’re all the same in the end, you...reporters.” Lillian stressed the word just enough to send a shiver of panic down Kara’s spine, making her itch to somehow find a way to contact Clark and make sure he was okay even off planet and far away from the Luthors.

“Mrs. Luthor—“

“—Dr. Luthor is fine—“

“—Lillian, then,” Kara said, setting her shoulders and raising her eyebrows. For her part, Lillian just seemed amused, leaning back in her chair and smiling, motioning for Kara to speak. “Like I said, I only had a few questions.”

“I’ll answer whatever you like, but only if you answer one question of mine.” Lillian grinned when Kara just nodded stiffly, clutching her notebook a little tighter. “You love like a Luthor, Kara Danvers. Lies, secrets, double-crossing...it’s how we show affection. I did wonder why Lena seemed to warm to you so quickly, you must have reminded her of home.”

“That’s not a question.”

Lillian laughed, every bit as regal and dangerous in the navy inmate outfit as when she was on the outside in thousand dollar dresses and heels. “Well, why waste a question when the answer is already written all over your face?”

Week Fifteen

As it likely was always destined to be, it was Alex who finally sat Kara down and gave her a much needed talk.

“Do you remember when you were fifteen and you broke the snowglobe dad gave me?” Alex asked, handing Kara the potstickers without bothering to ask if she could have one (most likely because she already knew it was a lost cause).

“Vaguely,” Kara mumbled between a mouthful of food.

(That was a lie, of course. The truth was that the memory of breaking that snowglobe was etched deep into her mind, always a point of confusion and pain and guilt.

She’d crushed the snowglobe in a fit of rage, upset over a myriad of things: the loss of her planet, Alex’s obstinance, losing her foster father, the pain of Clark’s emotional and physical distance. And Alex had been so...broken. She hadn’t cried, but had instead taken one look at the crushed globe then one at Kara before just walking away, leaving Kara to drown in silence.

It took nearly a week before Kara managed to get Alex to speak to her again, a week of silence that felt just as damaging as all that time in the Phantom Zone.)

“Do you remember what you did to get me to forgive you?” Alex asked, raising her eyebrows.

“I’m not sure breaking the snowglobe is the same as lying about who I am for years, Alex,” Kara said with a groan, looking at her potstickers dejectedly as she lost her appetite.

“But do you remember what you did?”

“I’m pretty sure I annoyed you until you gave in,” Kara said with a roll of her eyes.

Alex chuckled as she sat down next to her, allowing Kara to lean against her, offering a loose, one-armed hug. “You apologized. In about a million different ways,” Alex whispered against her temple. “I know you want to allow Lena her space, let her dictate the boundaries, and that’s a good thing. But Kara, you didn’t even try to apologize, to show her you’re sorry. You didn’t fight for her at all. Why?”

(Why?

Because Kara wondered at night if Lillian Luthor was right, she wondered about herself and how she’d allowed it to go so wrong. She thought about the pain she caused Lena, the trust she shattered, and the feeling of breaking her own heart through her own actions.

Why?

Well, because Kara didn’t deserve another chance with Lena.)

Maybe she spoke aloud, maybe Alex could read her mind, or most likely, maybe her sister knew her so well that she could see the answer in Kara’s eyes, hear it in Kara’s silence. Because after a moment, she pressed a kiss to Kara’s forehead.

“Maybe,” she said softly as she pulled away, motioning towards the freezer where Kara had stocked up on ice cream to get through the heartache, “it’s okay to ask for another chance and let Lena decide whether or not you’re worth it. And if you ask me, Kara, you’re always worth it.”

Week Sixteen

Four months after her nightmare scenario was realized (and ended up much worse than Kara could’ve even begun to imagine), Kara gathered the courage to seek Lena out.  

She landed on the balcony outside Lena’s office, not as Supergirl, but as Kara Danvers (it was risky, it was stupid, but she thought it was worth it). It took three taps on the glass before Lena noticed her, looking up from her work, brows furrowed. For a long second, Kara didn’t think she would let her in.

But then, miraculously, Lena stood and pushed the glass door open, letting Kara step into her office.

“It’s still not an entrance,” Lena muttered, crossing her arms over her chest defensively as she took Kara in. “What are you doing here? Need my help with DEO business? A quote for Cat Grant? I hope you appreciate how busy I am, so—”

“—to be perfectly honest, I didn’t tell you at first because of your last name,” Kara interrupted, much to Lena’s shock, her arms falling to her sides as she studied Kara with narrowed eyes. “I knew you were different from the second we first met, that you were good and kind and had the biggest heart.” She swallowed, took in a deep breath, and forced herself to look into Lena’s eyes. Needing her to see the truth of what she was saying. “I trusted you from the second we met, Lena Luthor, but between Clark and Lex and your mom and the Alien Amnesty Act and just...it seemed safer for you and me to not say anything.”

“Kara, I—”

“—and then, when it would have made everything easier to just tell you the truth, I...I ruined things. I got scared, I lashed out, and suddenly, you couldn’t stand Supergirl. And with Reign, I figured it was safer for you and me to just...not say anything.” Kara took a step forward, disheartened when Lena took a step back. “And this past year, with the backlash against aliens and the Children of Liberty, I convinced myself it was safer to just not say anything. But the truth is...well, the truth is, I’ve been lying to myself.”

“I don’t understand,” Lena said, shaking her head.

“I haven’t had a good reason to keep who I was from you since Medusa,” Kara admitted quietly. “Probably even before that. I just didn’t want to see you look at me like you’re looking at me now.”

(It was a cold stare. Hard. Unforgiving.

And it broke Kara’s heart.

Again, and again, and again.)

“It was selfish, I knew it was selfish. I even tried to tell you once, but I...I didn’t want to hurt you—I didn’t want you to hate me.” She blinked rapidly, trying to stave off the tears she knew were coming. “I’m sorry, Lena. And I will show you how sorry I am every single day for the rest of my life if I have to, I will earn your trust back. But please, please, don’t shut me out. Don’t hate me.”

Lena’s jaw clenched.

One second.

Two.

She took a deep breath.

(Five seconds passed, Kara counted.)

“I really think you should leave, Kara,” Lena said, her gaze boring into Kara’s.

(It was a confused stare. Perplexed.

Soft.)

Week Sixteen and One Day

Kara opened the door before the knock even came, revealing Lena with her hand still raised, a flicker of amusement on her lips.

“How did you know I was here?” she asked, a clear and obvious test.

“Super-hearing,” Kara shrugged easily, “and I have x-ray vision, you know.”

“Interesting,” Lena said, smiling at Kara for the first time in what felt like centuries. “I thought a lot about what you said yesterday. Maybe let’s start with coffee, a conversation about Krypton, and go from there. What do you say?”

Kara didn’t need five seconds—she didn’t even need one.

“Perfect. Lead the way.”

[ofendlesswonder]

“It’s three in the morning.” if it moves you :)

3. “It’s three in the morning.”

Cat’s just started to drift off when the ringing of her phone cuts through the haze of sleep in her mind, and she groans as she rolls onto her side, reaching blindly for the device sitting on the bedside table of her hotel room.

Leaving behind CatCo was supposed to stop phonecalls at ungodly hours of the night (or morning, she supposes, as she glances at the time, her eyes bleary as she forces them open), and her thumb is already hovering over the ignore call button before she recognises the name on the screen and feels suddenly wide awake.

“Kara?” Cat answers with a question, because since she’d left National City, she hasn’t had any contact with her former assistant. Not directly, anyway – Cat has been keeping an eye on her from afar, though, with a google alert for both Kara Danvers and Supergirl set up on her phone, and she tells herself that it’s not weird, that she just wants to see how Kara is faring in her new role (the answer is, ofcourse, excellently).

“It’s me.” It’s Kara’s voice, but not in a way that Cat has ever heard before, the words loud and slurred, music pulsing in the background, and is she drunk at a bar?

Could she even get drunk?

Has she lost her powers again, rendered human, and wondered what the fuss was all about?

“Kara?” Cat repeats, her brain not quite working atfull speed. “Are you alright?”

“W-why wouldn’t I be alright?” The words are strung together, and it takes Cat a moment to decipher what she’s said.

“Because,” Cat replies, rolling onto her back andstaring up at the pale blue ceiling of her suite, “it’s three in the morning, and you’re calling me drunk after we haven’t spoken in months. Did you mean tocall me?”

“Yes.” Kara says it with certainty, and Cat can imagine her perfectly, sitting in a leather booth somewhere in a dive bar, her head nodding eventhough Cat can’t see her. “It’s not three in the morning here.”

“No, I suppose it’s not,” Cat acquiesces – she’s onthe east coast, visiting D.C., which will hopefully become her new home, if she plays her cards right, and she’d completely forgotten about the timedifference. “Why are you calling, Kara?”

“I… I miss you.” Kara’s voice is smaller, now, less certain, and Cat’s throat feels tight as she swallows, because she misses Kara, too, but that’s a secret that she’s sworn to take to her grave.

It wasn’t the only reason she’d left her companybehind (she was growing bored, felt like she needed a new challenge, a new adventure), but it was definitely a contributing factor. Cat had no idea when Kara Danvers had managed to worm her way under the sky-high walls that surrounded her heart, but by the time she’d realised, it had been too late, she was in too deep, and the only way she could think of to stop her falling even further in love with her unsuspecting assistant was with time and space, two things that she’d gotten by packing up her belongings and leaving National City behind.

(Not that it had worked, not really – she stillthought of Kara often, but at least here, with half a country separating them, Cat could avoid any kind of temptation, any risk of doing something reckless,like drawing Kara into a kiss and ruining everything).

“Kara…” Cat doesn’t know what to say, knew that ‘Imiss you, too’ would send them tumbling down a rabbit hole that would be hard to come back from. “Do you want me to call someone to come and get you?” Cat’s sure that the sister wouldn’t be too hard to track down.

“There isn’t anyone.” Kara’s voice is small, and sad, and Cat aches at the sound of it. “Alex has Maggie, Winn has Lyra, J’onn has M’gann and James has been doing everything he can to avoid me, lately. Lucy left and… so did you.”

The words come out quick and fast, and Cat struggles to keep up, especially when she has no idea who half of those people are.

“Are you okay, Kara?” Cat asks because she absolutely doesn’t sound it – Kara, who is so bright and full of hope, sounds completely and utterly defeated, and Cat’s chest feels tight, wishes she could be there to comfort her.

She wonders if Kara had already tried to call herother friends before she’d landed on Cat’s number, and tries to ignore the flash of pain that being a last resort sends rippling through her.

“No.” Kara’s laugh is bitter. “I have someone here, you know, that wants me.”

Cat’s jaw clenches at that, images flashing throughher mind, of Kara kissing someone else, a face lined with shadows but Cat knew that whoever Kara chose to be with, they would be handsome or beautiful, ageappropriate and decidedly not her boss.

“Then shouldn’t you be on the phone to them, and not me?” Cat counters, sitting up in bed because after this there’s no way she’s getting any more sleep tonight.

“You see, that’s just the thing, Cat.” Kara’s voice sounds so very tired. “I know it would be so, soeasy to let myself be with him, but I… I just can’t stop thinking about you.”

The words almost stop Cat’s heart dead in her chest.

She’d known, of course she’d known, about Kara’s crush on her – she wasn’t blind, and Kara wasn’t exactly subtle, but she also wasn’t delusional, knew that there was a world of difference between admiring someone (an older, confident someone) and actively wanting to pursue some kind ofrelationship with them.

“Kara…” It’s barely even a croak, but that’s all Catcan manage, clears her throat before attempting to continue. “You’re drunk, you don’t know what you’re saying.”

“I know exactly what I’m saying,” Kara replies. “What’s that saying? Drunk words are soberthoughts? Maybe I just needed a little bit of liquid courage to admit the way I feel.”

“Even if that’s true,” and Cat didn’t want it to be (couldn’t let herself believe it might be, lest she fall apart), “why are you telling me this now? It’s been months sinceI left.”

“I was trying really hard to forget about you.” Kara’s sigh is heavy. “But I never could. And I guess seeingeveryone else so happy, I… I want that, too.”

“You could have that,” Cat says, gently. “With… withwhoever it is you have over there.”

“He pales in comparison to you.”

“I’m not so sure that’s true.” It’s Cat’s turn tosigh, now, sure that she could never offer Kara all of the things that she deserves – and she deserves the world. “I think you should go home, Kara. Get some rest – you’ll feel better in the morning.”

“No, I won’t.” The music in the background fades, and Cat wonders if she’s stepped outside. “I won’t feel better until I see you.”

“Kara - ”

“Where are you?”

“Too far away for you to make it tonight.”

“I think we both know that that’s not true.” It’s quiet, but it’s an admission all the same, and Cat wonders if Kara will regret trusting Cat with her closely guarded secret in the cold, harsh light of day – not that Cathasn’t known for all this time, anyway.

“Regardless, I don’t think you should drink and fly.”

“Why not? It’s not like I’d hit anything. Well, maybe a bird.”

Cat allows herself one moment to dwell on that visual before replying. “You might fall out of the sky.”

“I wouldn’t.” There’s that certainty (and stubbornness) again. “Where are you?”

“I really think you should sleep on th - ”

“Fine, I’ll find out myself,” Kara huffs, and Cat can only blink as Kara hangs up on her, the dial tone ringing in her ear. She rings Kara back immediately, but there’s no answer, and Cat hits redial as she climbs out of her bed to pace, mind filled with visions of Kara hurtling into buildings or falling out of the sky, too inebriated to know what she’s doing.

The tap on the glass probably shouldn’t have startledher, all things considered, but Cat still jumps when she whirls to find Kara hovering outside of her balcony door. At least she’d had the wherewithal tochange into her suit, won’t have been spotted flying cross-country in civilian clothes, and Cat supposes, as she slides the door open, that any pretencesbetween them are long gone, now.

“Are you crazy?” Cat hisses as she ushers Kara inside, and she’s never been so grateful that Carter’s spending a few weeks with his father as she is right now. “What if someone had seen you?”

“What, like ‘Cat Grant gets late night call fromSupergirl’ wouldn’t give you a big media boost?” Kara counters, and she’s clumsy as she collapses onto Cat’s bed, kicking off her red boots and fallingbackwards with a sigh.

So, still drunk, then.

Cat allows herself a moment to drink in the sight ofthe other woman in all her glory, in a way she’d never dared, back when they’d used to work together. Kara’s eyes flutter closed, the light of the mooncasting shadows over her face, and she’s so beautiful that it almost hurts to look directly at her.

“What were you thinking, Kara?” Cat berates her, standing at the foot of the bed with her arms foldedacross her chest, only suddenly becoming aware of the fact that she’s wearing only her pyjamas, the cotton fabric thin and clingy, and she feels exposed,vulnerable, as Kara’s eyes flicker open to meet her own. “Flying out here like that? What if you got hurt?”

“I was fine,” Kara huffs, leaning up on her elbows.“And I was thinking that I needed to see you. To make you believe that I’m serious.”

“I’ll believe you more when you can stop slurring yourwords.”

“Drunk words are - ”

“Sober thoughts,” Cat finishes, “yes, we alreadycovered that.”

“We did?” Kara frowns, and really, she has absolutelyno right to look that adorable. “Oh.”

“See, you’re not even going to remember this in themorning,” Cat sighs. “You’re going to wake up in Washington D.C. in my hotel room and think I’ve kidnapped you.”

“I’m staying the night?” Kara perks up at that.

“Well, I’m hardly letting you fly anywhere else.”

“We’re in Washington?” Kara clambers out of the bed to go to the window, pressing her face against the glass to look at the twinkling lights beyond.

“How do you not know where you just flew to?” Catasks, alarmed. “Come to think of it, how did you find me?”

“Um.” Kara glances away from the window to look at Cat’s face, looking more than a little guilty. “So, don’t think I’m creepy for this, but… I kinda, sorta, know what your heartbeat sounds like, so I just… followedit.”

“You… followed the sound of my heartbeat… across the country?”

“Yes.”

“Your hearing is that good?” Cat is impressed, morethan anything.

“Kinda,” Kara shrugs. “Once I’m familiar with a sound, if I really, really focus on it, I can pretty much follow it anywhere.”

“And you’re so familiar with my heartbeat because…?”

“We spent two years working together, Cat. I picked it up.”

“That’s how you always knew I was coming,” Cat murmurs, more to herself than anything – it hadbeen notoriously difficult for her to sneak up on her former assistant, no matter how hard Cat might have tried. “Do you have any other weird habits Ishould know about?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Okay, then.”

“Cat, about everything I said before - ”

“Don’t.” Cat cuts Kara off with a wave of her hand,not wanting to hear what she said next. “I meant what I said before – you should sleep on this, before you say anything else. If you still feel the same in the morning, when you have a clearer head, then we can talk about it. But only then.”

“So you want to talk about it?” Kara asks, her eyes looking so very hopeful, and Cat’s throat feels tight, because god, she’s never wanted anything more. “I’m not just… showing up here barking up the wrongtree?"

“No, Kara,” Cat murmurs, doubtful Kara will remember any of this in the morning. “But you need to get some rest. Sleep it off.”

She’s about to clamber into the bed, suit and all,before Cat stops her, handing Kara a pair of pyjamas and promptly spinning on her heel when Kara began to tug at her suit – apparently drunken Kara has verylittle modesty, and Cat’s sure that she won’t survive the sight of the other woman half-dressed, ducks into the bathroom for a moment, instead.

She can’t help but pinch herself to check that thisisn’t just all a dream, that she isn’t imagining the fact that Kara is here, all of the things that she’s confessed to tonight. She doesn’t allow herself toread too much into what it might mean, because for all of Kara’s assurances, she is still drunk, and things might well change when she wakes up in Cat’s hotel room, and reality sets in.

By the time she deems it safe to emerge from thebathroom, she finds Kara already under the covers, her eyes closed and her breathing even, and Cat shakes her head wryly, more than a little jealous ofthe other woman’s apparent ability to immediately fall asleep.

She can’t resist the urge to step close to Kara, topull the covers, abandoned at her waist, up to her shoulders, before leaning down to press a gentle kiss to her forehead. She’s about to walk away when ahand shoots out to grab her wrist, stopping her in her tracks, and when she turns back around, Kara’s eyes have blinked open.

“Where are you going?”

“To sleep on the couch.” Not that she’d get muchsleep, anyway – not with the way her life has just been turned upside down.

“But there’s plenty of space right here.” Kara’s thumbrubs against Cat’s wrist as she uses her other hand to pat at the other side ofthe bed.

“Kara - ”

“Please?” She asks, gaze pleading, and oh, how doesCat have any hope of denying her?

With a sigh that holds no trace of reluctance, shemakes her way around the bed and slips into it, her breath catching when Kara shuffles towards her, reaching for one of Cat’s hands and pulling it around her waist.

Cat wonders, as she rests her forehead against theback of Kara’s head, breathing in the scent of her shampoo, when Kara had become so emboldened. Maybe it’s just the alcohol, but it seems like more than that, somehow, and she wondershow much has changed since she’d left National City, how much she’s missed, whilst she’s been away diving.

There’s no time to ponder that now, though – she can ask Kara about it in the morning, along with the million other things on her mind. She’s convinced she won’t be able to sleep a wink, worrying too muchabout what tomorrow would bring, but she finds that, with her arms wrapped around the one woman she’d never dreamed of getting into her bed, it comes easier than it ever has before.

[supergirl-fanfiction]

I Can’t Lose You

Alex Danvers x Reader

Not a Request 

You are Alex's wife and a DEO Agent. You and your team had been sent on a mission that was suppose to be an easy in easy out type of thing. You were ambushed though and you and some of your team ended up severely injured.

(Y/N)- Your Name

(L/N)- Last Name

Warnings- Angst, Mentions of Death and Blood

You and your team were getting suited up for your mission. It was another easy in easy out. You just had to get some information about some rumors that had been going around. You knew there was going to be some type of security but from what you could tell it was just a handful of security guards. Nothing that you and your team wouldn't be able to handle. You had just finished checking yourself over to make sure you had everything when Alex walked over to you.

"You better not slack off out there Agent (L/N)." She teased you. A slight chuckle escaped your lips. You pretended to be wounded by what she had said.

"I would never. I am very serious all the time." You had barely managed to say that with a straight face. Alex laughed and shook her head at you.

"Just be careful out there alright. I know you have done a million missions just like this one, but keep your guard up." She leaned in and gave you a soft chaste kiss. "Remember we have a date tonight and you cant go if you end up doing something reckless and end up in the infirmary like last time." You blushed and looked away from her. Last time hadn't been your fault. It had been a simple mistake honestly.

"Yea yea yea. I know. Besides I wouldn't miss this date for anything. It's extremely special." You said as you smiled at her and kissed her cheek. "Happy 1 year anniversary of married life Danvers." You heard your teammates making fun of you for being soft with your wife. You just shook your head at their antics.

"I got to go now. I promise I'll be safe and make it back in time for our date." You said before quickly heading over to your team and heading out. Alex chuckled as she watched you leave. She felt extremely lucky to have met you. She let herself enjoy the memories of you and her for a brief moment before going into Director Danvers mode.

_____

You and your team had easily made your way through the building. There was a little bit more security than you had originally thought, but it wasn't anything you and your team couldn't handle. You had gotten the information you needed but that was when things began to go horribly wrong. All of a sudden there was a flood of CADMUS Agents. None of you had any idea where they had come from. It had been an ambush and they had waited for the perfect moment to strike. You and your team were trapped. The only way out was going through the CADMUS Agents and that was a death wish if you had ever heard of one. They outnumbered you 10 to 1. You looked around at the Agents with you. You considered them friends and family. You knew what you had to do and by the looks in their eyes they knew what you were planning on doing. You quickly had Winn patch you through to Alex through your ear pieces.

"Alex, I might need a rain check on that date." You peeked around the corner to they and see where all the CADMUS Agents were hiding. You quickly ducked back when they began to fire at you though. Alex heard the sound of bullets and began to panic.

"(Y/N) what is going on?" You could hear the slight panic in her voice that she had tried to disguise.

"Well it turns out that this might have been a trap. CADMUS Agents ambushed us. We are kind of trapped right now. Just thought you should know that we are going to have to out a hold on the date tonight." You tried to stay calm knowing that you were about to give your life to try and save your fellow agents.

"(Y/N) don't you fucking dare. I have back up headed your way right now. ETA is 45 minutes." She was no longer trying to conceal the panic. You felt tears begin to flood your eyes. There was no way your team would be able to hold your position for 45 minutes. The CADMUS Agents were closing in on you and your team.

"I love you Alex never forget that alright. You have made these past years of my life from the day I met you to the day when we finally got married the best years of my life." You could feel yourself getting chocked up. You were trying to be strong for her and your team.

"You promised (Y/N). Please please please dont break your promise please. I need you and I just... you just need to hold your position for a little bit longer alright." Alex begged you. It broke your heart to hear her so panicked and distraught.

"Thank you for being the best girlfriend and wife that a person could hope for Alex. I love your forever and always." You quickly cut off contact with her after saying that. You couldn't stand hearing her beg you. It was causing cracks in your heart. You turned back to your team and you could see the pain in their eyes. You were their family and they knew what you were about to do. You couldn't risk them ending up more injured than they already were though. You were the team leader and it was your job to keep them safe. The back up should arrive in time for them to rescue and save your team mates.

"Thank you for being the best team and the best family an Agent could hope to have. When you see Alex tell her that I'm sorry and that I'm gonna take a rain check on our date.

_____

Alex started screaming into her ear piece but she could no longer hear you.

"(Y/N)! Agent (L/N)! Answer! This is an order! GOD DAMMIT (Y/N)! ANSWER ME!" Alex began to break down. Everyone around her stared in shock. They had never seen her like this before.

"Winn get Supergirl on route to their location now!" Alex screamed the panic and fear clear in her voice. Winn immediately got into contact with Kara and when Winn explained what he knew about the situation Kara shoot off on her way to where you were.

"She's on her way Alex. She will make it in time. She will save them." Winn tried to reassure Alex but she was inconsolable. All the other Agents watched their Director break down. The pain in their eyes clear as they knew if she lost you she would never be the same. Neither would they. You had made friends with nearly everyone at the DEO. They all considered you family and knowing that they may lose not only you but also their director caused pain in all of their hearts.

_____

You had no idea that Kara was on her way. All you knew was that you needed to do this to save your team. You rolled out from behind your hiding space and began to fire at every single agent you could see. In the beginning it seemed like you might actually be able to escape from this without any life threatening injuries. You had always had perfect aim. Every bullet landing perfectly between the CADMUS Agents eyes. You kept trying to duck and hide between anything and everything you could. You had managed to advance on them slightly and had taken out 12 of them before you felt the first bullet pierce your skin. You quickly dropped down behind the container you had been using as shelter. After that you became sloppy. You were losing blood too quickly and it was making you lightheaded and dizzy. You began to feel multiple bullets pierce your skin. You were littered with bullet holes. You honestly had no idea how many times you had been shot but you knew the amount of blood you had lost wasn't good. You had managed to take out enough of the CADMUS Agents to Gove your team a fighting chance until backup could arrive. You stayed ducked behind the container with your back against it. You began to cough and you could taste the blood in your mouth. You made brief eye contact with your team and gave them a small shaky smile. You felt like you couldn't breathe. You had closed your eyes and began to feel yourself when you heard shouts of fear from the CADMUS Agents and shouts of hope from your team.

"Where are they? Wheres (Y/N)?" You heard someone who's voice sounded familiar ask with panic and fear in their voice. All of your Agents were crowded around you. You guess they had come to you when whoever had arrived took out the rest of the CADMUS Agents.

"Right here Supergirl. They need immediate medical attention." You heard one of your agents, Serena you think, say. Kara felt her heart drop out of her stomach as she saw the shape you were in. If it wasn't for here super-hearing she would have thought you were dead.

"We will be ok. We can wait for backup but they won't make it waiting that long." Kara nodded her head before picking you up as gently as she could and taking off. You ended up passing out on the flight to the DEO.

_____

You groaned quietly as you began to feel yourself wake up. You opened your eyes and immediately regretted it when all you saw was bright white lights. You immediately shut your eyes. You began to try and figure out exactly where you were and what had happened. You felt a weight on your hand and slowly opened your eyes, letting them adjust to the light before looking at where the weight was coming from. Your heart ached at the sight that greeted you. Alex had your hand in a death grip in her sleep. She had her head laying on your arm and you could see the dried tear stains on her face. You began to lift up your other hand to run your fingers through her hair but winced and whimpered out at the pain it caused you. It seemed that was enough to wake up Alex. She looked confused for a brief moment before her eyes met yours and then the tears began to flow.

"Do you have any idea how close I came to losing you today. Your heart stopped so many times the doctors almost stopped trying to revive you. You lost so much blood its a miracle that you are even here right now. The doctors said that there is no logical explanation for how you are alive." You felt your heart break as she began to completely break down. You comforted her as best as you could but every tiny movement hurt and you were hooked up to a shit ton of wires.

"I'm sorry. I know that doesn't fix anything but I am truly sorry Alex." You rasped out. You felt the tears begin to fall down your face. Alex shook her head before she leaned towards you. You could barely feel her lips against yours and then she was leaning back.

"I know that this work is dangerous. I also know why you did what you did. But (Y/N) I cant lose you. I wouldn't be able to survive losing you. I know that sounds dramatic and it may seem like I'm over exaggerating but I'm not. I wouldn't be able to make it in this world without you by my side." You felt ashamed of yourself. You should've thought through your plan more. You should've known that she would send Supergirl your way. If you had just waited a little bit longer you would've been ok. You grinned your teeth as you felt pissed at yourself.

"I'm sorry Alex. I should've waited and talked to you about a better plan of action. I promise from now on I will be as safe as someone can possibly be and yes I know that I won't be going back out into the field again. Not after the injuries I sustained from this last mission. I know I won't be able to pass the physical exam or possibly even the mental exam. I don't even care about that though. All I care about is you. Making sure that I am never the cause of your pain again. I love you Alex and I'm so sorry." Alex gave you a small watery smile and you returned it with one of your own. You knew that not only you but also Alex had a long road of recovery ahead of the both of you. At the moment though it didn't mattered. All that mattered was that you had been given another chance and you weren't going to waste it.

[overstimulatethis]

Of Course [Supercorp fanfic]

Fandom: Supergirl

Pairing: Supercorp, background k*ramel but it’s not a thing i promise (mostly a Lena case study)

Rating: T

Summary:  Of course. Leave it to Lena Luthor to have the kind of luck that has her newly-found mentor betraying her, kidnapping her, and forcing her to marry the prince of Lena’s nightmares—the one currently courting Kara Danvers. As if she hadn’t already had enough trouble throughout her entire life trying to denounce herself of the Luthor brand, she was now being forced to participate in the takeover of the world. Of course.

Chapter: 1/1

Of course. Of course. Leave it to Lena Luthor to have the kind of luck that has her newly-found mentor betraying her, kidnapping her, and forcing her to marry the prince of Lena’s nightmares—the one currently courting Kara Danvers. As if she hadn’t already had enough trouble throughout her entire life trying to denounce herself of the Luthor brand, she was now being forced to participate in the takeover of the world. Of course.

She hated how good the red dress she’d been given looked on her. She hated everything it represented in that moment, and she hated that it was touching her body. If she’d had any say in the matter, however, she never would have picked such a bright red. And the crown. Lena rolled her eyes as she glanced at the offending garment in the mirror. How terribly gaudy.

When the guards came to retrieve her for the ceremony, she felt her mask slip into place, the one she kept up around people like her mother. She took a deep breath before following them down the hall of the spaceship—and that was taking some getting used to, as well—and into the main chamber. Rhea was waiting for them with a nauseating smirk. One of the guards held out a hand to Lena to escort her to the altar; she could barely hold back an eyeroll as she scoffed, “Yeah, I’m good.”

And then, she was holding hands with the one thing that stood between herself and Kara—well, she supposed in this present moment that there were some decidedly larger things standing in her way. As much as she knew and understood that she had to work with this Mon-El, she couldn’t quite quell the slight ache in the pit of her stomach at the physical proximity to him. She shook her head ever-so-slightly to force herself to tune into what the alien woman before her was saying.

Right when Lena felt as if she were going to puke, Cat Grant decided to make a surprise reappearance and save her marital status for the time being. She couldn’t help but glance over at Mon-El as they were being escorted back to their chambers, and Lena felt Cat Grant’s words echoing in her ears.

The next thing she knew, they were escaping—and rather successfully, at that. When she finally found a purpose for that terrible crown, she stumbled a bit, because Mon-El had gone and said something stupid like, “I see why Kara loves you.” So, of course, Lena had immediately been reminded of the fact that the love she received from Kara was not the kind she wanted. Her jealousy flared, and it was difficult to force herself back into the current moment. She mustered up a, “Likewise,” in return before continuing their escape, telling herself to refocus on the situation.

And then Kara showed up, and Lena immediately felt that stupid, dopey smile that she always got around Kara take over her face—but then Mon-El was stepping forward, and Kara wasn’t paying attention to her anymore. Lena’s expression fell quickly. She saw Kara glancing back and forth between the two of them like a confused puppy.

“Uh, Kara Danvers sent me to get you,” Kara rushed to explain.

Surprisingly, the words weren’t what broke Lena; it was the way Kara immediately turned to look at Mon-El as if he put the sun in the sky. Lena suddenly felt completely exhausted. She looked down at her shoes as she made a hasty exit, accidentally brushing shoulders with Kara on the way out.

Kara did nothing.

But her mother was here to save her, supposedly. That was something, possibly. She never knew if she could really be off-guard with Lillian and be safe simultaneously.

As they walked to complete their escape, Lena’s mind immediately went back to Kara. She shouldn’t have been so disappointed. She wasn’t dating Kara. In fact, Kara was most certainly dating someone that was the complete opposite of Lena, so there was no way she would ever even have a chance, if that was Kara’s type.

Plus, there’s the whole fact that Lena had known that Kara was Supergirl for months, now, and Kara still hadn’t informed her, herself. Every time they had another intimate moment—both with Kara and Supergirl—Lena would start thinking, this is it. She’s going to tell me. But she had been left disappointed every time.

Sometimes, she considered simply confessing to Kara that she knew; God knew the poor girl needed one less secret to—“What are you doing, Mother?” The words tumbled out of her mouth before she could control them, but her stomach was rolling intensely again as she was transported back to Earth without warning.

“Humans only, dear,” Lillian replied, before contacting Alex and telling her it was okay to fire the positron cannon that would evaporate the Daxamite Mothership… and everyone on it.

It took Lena a moment to process the words. She felt as if all the breath had left her, as if she were going to implode with emotion—anger at her mother’s prejudice, longing for Kara, anxiety for her safety… But Kara would figure something out. Supergirl always survived, even when it wouldn’t seem as if Kara Danvers could. She prayed she would find a way out of this, as well.

Her heart skipped as someone else was transported to the warehouse. When only Mon-El appeared, however, all her breath left her with a shrill, “Where’s Supergirl?”

“Supergirl stayed up there!” Mon-El said. Lena had never wanted to throttle him more severely.

But then the cannon itself exploded. And well, Lena went a bit numb after that. She didn’t remember much about how she got to her apartment, past the paparazzi and up the elevator; but she was somehow aware enough to strip out of the red dress, scrub her skin clean under a scalding hot shower, find clean clothes, and pour three glasses of whiskey.

Eventually, she stopped downing each drink in one go and took a glass to the couch. As she sat down, she noticed that obnoxious red mocking her from her peripheral vision. She studied it harshly, as it now lay rumpled on the floor. It was useless, now. It had no power over her. Lena narrowed her eyes as she started to contemplate whether to donate the dress to charity, sell it for money to use as a donation to charity, or burn it.

A knock at the door interrupted her thoughts, and her mother, of all people, stepped through. Half-drunk and heartbroken, she only had about 12% control on what she said, for a while. But once Lillian proposed her idea for the lead dispenser…

This was the second time Lillian had been kind to Lena in a row, but she still couldn’t fully trust her. After all, she had tried to get Kara vaporized. She didn’t really care about how Lena felt.

However… it was a good idea.

Of course, this meant that Lena had to see Kara again, very soon—much sooner, in fact, than she really was comfortable with. But she wanted to make sure that she was giving full disclosure, lest she be suspected as the villain once again. So, she and her mother met with Superman and Supergirl to tell them about their idea for the device.

Seeing Kara was difficult, extremely so. She looked exhausted, and that crinkle looked like it might have become permanent. Lena’s heart ached for her, even more so when she saw the moment Kara realized that she might have to sacrifice Mon-El for the sake of the planet. Her jealousy at Kara’s feelings for him was dampened down by the incredibly uncomfortable feeling of causing Kara pain.

Kara told them to go ahead in developing the device, though. Lena wanted so badly to reach forward and grasp Kara’s arm in comfort—but she wasn’t Kara right now. She was Supergirl, and Lena Luthor, as Kara knew her, would not reach out to Supergirl like that. So, she resisted the urge, feeling sick at the entire situation.

Something in her gut told her to make sure only Kara could switch on the lead device, and she was proud of her instincts for a moment when Lillian tried to activate it before they had planned. Always so hasty. It was one of her few predictable traits. Lena fought hard to hide a smirk at the small win. She would take it, though.

It’s unfortunate, Lena thought, that Kara ended up having to use the device, after all. As much as she loathed the frat boy out of jealousy, he didn’t deserve this—and Kara most definitely did not. Kara could never do anything to deserve such heartbreak; Lena was sure of it.

She desperately wanted to reach out to her over the next week, but she had no clue how to do so. What does one say to their best friend/love interest who just lost their slightly-emotionally-abusive significant other because he was part of a race of aliens that were trying to take over the world? Eventually, she decided that she would let Kara have some space.

However, the day after she made this decision, Agent Danvers stopped by her office (Lena had returned to work the day after the entire fiasco, of course). She looked almost nervous as she took the offered seat in front of Lena’s desk. “How can I help you, Agent Danvers?” she started. “I’ve already given my statements to the relevant departments regarding the… Daxamites.” Her voice had caught ever-so-slightly before the name of the alien race that had kidnapped her. She loathed the way it still affected her so.

“Oh, no,” Alex replied with an awkward laugh, “that’s not what—um, I’m here on more… personal business?” Lena raised an eyebrow, relaxed back in her chair, and motioned for the elder Danvers to continue. “It’s about Kara.”

Lena sat forward immediately, at that. “Is she all right?” She almost cringed at the slightly desperate tone in her voice, but Alex didn’t point it out.

“No, yeah, she’s fine! Well, I mean… I guess it really depends on how you define ‘fine…’”

Lena held back a huff. “Alex, what’s going on with Kara?”

Alex seemed to deflate in front of her. “Well, you know that she was dating that Daxamite, Mon-El… who kind of ended up having to leave the planet. And I’m pretty sure she’s told you some things about their relationship, which is—er, was—pretty, uh, turbulent, to be quite honest. So, she’s just kind of… lost?”

Alex leaned forward with her elbows on her knees. She ran a hand through her hair and finally met Lena’s gaze. Lena held back a flinch at the open way in which Alex was looking at her, the high-intensity emotions making her uncomfortable.

Alex sighed a bit before continuing. “You’re… the only other one who was there, with her, with…” Him. She didn’t have to say it, but she gestured vaguely off to the side, anyway. Lena nodded to show her understanding. “So, I think you’re really the only one who she’ll be willing to talk to, right now.”

Lena felt the beginnings of a blush coming on. She sat back a bit in her chair, opposing Alex’s stature. She shook her head. “She hasn’t reached out to me once. I’m not sure you’re right with this.”

Alex rolled her eyes. “Kara is… such a giving person that she never wants to burden anybody else with her problems. She has a really hard time asking people for help.” It made sense, Lena realized. Who else could be so selfless to become Supergirl? “But I promise you. I know her. You’re her best shot at healing, right now.”

Lena bit her lip in thought, swiveling back and forth in her chair a bit. “I wouldn’t even know what to say, or how to behave… whether to text her or call her, or…” Her brain was kind of going into overdrive, short-circuiting at the thought of seeing Kara before she had fully processed how to feel about her.

“Honestly,” Alex interrupted, “all you have to do is show up at her apartment around at least a vague resemblance of a dinner time, with at least five cartons of takeout, and she’ll either eat it all in one bite, collapse crying into your arms gratefully, or kiss you.” She gave a light chuckle at her joke, but Lena had to force herself not to choke at the image.

“Five cartons of takeout. Got it. Wait.” She leaned forward again, palms flat on the desk in front of her. “What kind of takeout? Chinese? Italian? Thai? Pizza?” She had only been to Kara’s apartment to hang out a mere handful of times, and it had definitely been a while since their last get-together. Lena could feel herself becoming increasingly frazzled.

“Literally anything, Lena. You know Kara. You’ve seen her eat.” Alex laughed more openly this time, which helped Lena let out a more genuine chuckle in response. “So, are you down?” She was much more relaxed, now that Lena had become decidedly less tense.

Lena said, “Yes, of course,” before she gave it a single thought. It didn’t stop there, either; words that she couldn’t stop just kept tumbling out of her mouth. “I’ll go over to her apartment tonight, then.” Her heart raced as the reality sunk in.

“Okay.” Alex smiled widely. “That’s great. Thank you, Lena. I really appreciate it. And, um,” she shifted in her seat, “I also wanted to know… how are you? I mean, are you processing everything okay? Did you need someone to talk to?”

Lena immediately thought of the glasses of whiskey she’d been looking forward to drowning herself in that night. She didn’t know how to respond, but Alex continued talking with a kind, serious tone.

“I know we’re not close, or anything, but it appears that our lives are going to be intertwined in some way, no matter what. I’d like to be your friend. I guess what I’m trying to say,” she jokingly rolled her eyes at herself as she smiled, “is that I’m here if you need me.” Alex tucked some of her red-brown hair behind her ear, in a move that instantly reminded Lena of Kara.

Honestly? Lena had no clue how to act in response to such open kindness. She had fumbled her way through these kinds of situations before, with Kara, but for now, she was at a complete loss for what to say.

But Alex didn’t seem to mind. Her eyes shined with understanding. She knew about Lena’s relationship with her mother, how she had never been given kindness without the expectation of something in return. It was clear that she was being patient and letting Lena work through her emotions to say what she wanted to say.

Lena’s heart felt… fuller.

“I…” Lena coughed to clear her throat a bit. “I think it goes without saying that I greatly appreciate the offer, Alex. And I would truly love to be your friend, as well.” She found a smile slowly growing on her face at the prospect. “I, um… I’ve been coping. Probably not in the healthiest of ways,” she looked down at her fidgeting hands, “but I’m… managing. It was definitely a… difficult experience.” She looked back up to Alex with a shrug and a hint of a smile.

Alex hummed, mirroring Lena’s posture. “It was… a very emotional time. Nights are hard. If you ever find yourself in need of some company,” she said as she pulled out a business card, writing her personal number on the back of it, “feel free to call me, any time. It helps to talk about what happened with someone who shared in the experience, sometimes. I’m sure Kara would love to talk with you too, though. It’s completely up to you, but here.” She handed the card to Lena, who took it with a hint of astonishment.

The Danvers sisters were like no one else Lena had ever met.

“Thank you, Alex,” she said softly, with as much genuineness as she could inflect in her words. “This really means… so much to me. Thank you.” She looked up at Alex’s blurry figure to realize that her eyes were starting to tear up. She hastily blinked the wetness away and smiled openly at the agent in front of her.

“It’s really no problem, Lena. I should let you get back to work, but I mean it—call me any time.” She smiled again as she stood, but paused a bit before she moved away. “Um… you’re probably used to this from my sister, but—can I hug you?”

A laugh escaped Lena’s throat before she even realized it was there. She found herself standing and walking around her desk, into Alex Danvers’s open arms.

Honestly, it wasn’t quite as nice as one of Kara’s hugs, but it was wonderful all the same.

Work was a blur after Alex left. She’d been so distracted about going to see Kara for dinner that she didn’t really remember doing anything else besides telling Jess to free up her schedule beyond five o’clock that evening. The next thing she knew, it was 6:30, and she was carrying two bags containing a massive amount of pot-stickers and other assorted Chinese foods down the hall to Kara Danvers’s apartment.

Her heart was beating rapidly. When Kara opened the door almost immediately after Lena knocked, she wondered if the Kryptonian had been able to hear it pounding against her chest.

“Lena! Hi!” Kara said, looking slightly bewildered to see her, but smiling widely nonetheless. “What are you doing here? I mean, not that you’re not welcome here, of course—come in!” She waved her in, continuing to ramble as she did so. “You’re welcome here any time, I hope you know that—well, I mean I guess you do know that, since you came over right now without asking—which is totally okay! I love that you came! Honestly, I—”

“Kara,” Lena interrupted gently. She could feel the adoring smile on her face, that same stupid one she got when Kara showed up on the Daxamite ship. “I honestly just wanted to see you. I’ve missed you, and a lot has happened… I just wanted your company. Obviously, I’ve brought compensation-slash-bribery, as well.” She held up the bags of takeout, which Kara scrambled to take for her.

“Oh, trust me,” Kara replied as she set the food down and went about grabbing forks, “while food is always accepted and appreciated, bribery to spend time with you is never necessary.” Kara paused after she seemed to have gotten all of the necessary equipment. She took a quick, deep breath that moved her shoulders as she stood and fully met Lena’s gaze. She smiled softly before opening her arms, and Lena gratefully fell into them.

Honestly, there was nothing like a hug from Kara Danvers to make her feel both vulnerable and invincible simultaneously. She could feel herself practically melt into the embrace, her heart calming against Kara’s strong chest. Kara had her right hand between her shoulder blades, and her left hand was slowly, softly, comfortingly moving up and down her lower back.

She wished she could have this every day.

Eventually—probably after longer than what would normally be appropriate—Kara released Lena from the warmth of her arms. She looked down at Lena with a soft smile. “Would you want to watch something while we eat? Or we could talk and catch up a bit?” she asked as she started setting the boxes out by the couch.

Lena’s heart started to quicken again at the prospect of talking—any time she talked to Kara, it seemed that she spilled her emotions out all over the floor. She would rather not take over the night like that quite yet, not when she truly had missed Kara’s healing presence and company. So, she followed Kara to the couch and suggested that Kara pick out a movie for them to watch.

Halfway through the movie, however, Lena noticed that Kara wasn’t even looking at the screen; she was just staring at some point in space in front of her. She reached out and touched a hand to Kara’s shoulder, ever-so-gently.

The superhero didn’t jump, but she did turn to face Lena very quickly. “Yes?”

“Are you okay?” Lena asked before worrying her lip. “Of course, considering the recent events, you’re most likely not okay.” Lena sighed at herself, withdrawing her hand. “I mean to say—how have you been? I’ve wanted to check in on you for a while, but I didn’t quite know how.”

Kara simply stared at her for a moment, before her face slowly crumpled as a sob escaped. Lena reached out again immediately, bringing Kara close to her and holding her tightly as she cried into her chest.

When her sobs died down, Lena didn’t stop rubbing her hand over Kara’s arm or holding her in place. She felt them both relax into each other. It was… content.

“Thank you,” Kara nearly whispered, her voice hoarse from crying.

“It’s no bother at all, Kara,” Lena assured her. “You’ve been there for me countless times. I think it only makes sense that I be here for you, as well. Besides,” she cleared her throat a bit, causing Kara to shift so that she could see her face better while still laying against her, “I’ve been… struggling with some of these events, as well. I think, maybe, we could be there for each other, right now.” It came out as more of a question, but Kara was smiling at her, so it couldn’t have been too bad.

“That would be perfect, Lena. Honestly, you’re about the only person I can fully tolerate seeing right now. I can’t even be around Alex for too long before I get… tense and agitated. But with you, well….” She smiled before snuggling back into her embrace with Lena.

She had to hear the way Lena’s heart was fluttering, even without using super-hearing.

Speaking of superpowers…

“I know you’re Supergirl,” came out in a whisper before she could stop it. Apparently, some part of her had decided that she was going to confess her knowledge of Kara’s alter ego today. It would have been nice if the rest of her had been given a warning.

Kara’s head shot up off of Lena’s chest. “Wait, what?” she said with a forced scoff. She waved her hand through the air. “Lena, come on.”

Lena stared at her flatly before reaching forward and yanking down the column of buttons on her shirt, parting them to put the Supergirl emblem on full display. Kara was left agape for a long moment.

“I’ve known for months now, Kara,” Lena confessed gently. “I was waiting for you to tell me, but after almost losing you, I—” Crap. Here she was again, drowning the floor in her word vomit. “I knew that I just had to be as truthful with you as possible, to have the best relationship with you that I could possibly have before something happens to take it all away.” She rolled her eyes at herself before looking down at her hands. “I’m trying to stop holding everybody that cares for me at arm’s length.”

Kara didn’t say anything. Lena saw her glance over to the television, where the credits of the movie were rolling. Kara turned the television and DVD player off before turning to Lena and finally speaking. “It’s late. Do you want to stay over tonight?”

At the mention, Lena couldn’t stop a yawn from stretching her mouth open. Kara giggled and continued, “Yeah, you’re tired. Let me get you something more comfortable and less tear-stained to wear. I don’t mind sleeping on the couch, but I get the feeling that…” she paused, causing Lena’s breath to stop as well. Kara bit her lip and sighed. “I think we both might sleep a bit better with someone else next to us. Don’t you think?” She fidgeted with her glasses as she waited for a response.

Honestly? The offer sounded absolutely wonderful. Sleeping with Kara next to her would probably make her wake up feeling amazing. She felt a bit of guilt at not sharing her feelings for Kara, as well—as if she were taking advantage of her by accepting her offer. But, honestly, Kara had offered, and Lena would never do anything that Kara was uncomfortable with.

“I would greatly appreciate it, Kara. Thank you,” she finally responded, softer than she normally would. She saw a warmness cover Kara’s expression at the sound of a message meant for her ears only.

Soon, Lena had changed into a pair of Kara’s sleeping pants, which hung low on her hips and past her feet, and an oversized t-shirt Kara claimed had magical powers.

It smelled like her.

They got into bed once Kara turned the lights off, facing away from each other. Lena was suddenly surrounded with that same smell of Kara, and she wished she could stay here every night.

She heard Kara turn over behind her. “Hey, Lena?” she said softly, as if Lena could have fallen asleep so quickly.

Lena turned over to face Kara, in return. “Yes, Kara?” she replied, just as softly.

In the darkness, Kara was just barely outlined in the silver-blue moonlight peeking through the window blinds. Her glasses were off, but Lena still saw Kara Danvers. And she was absolutely beautiful.

Then Kara lightly placed a hand on Lena’s jaw, catching her completely off guard. It was the most intimate touch Lena had received from her to date. It took her breath away.

Kara stroked her thumb over Lena’s skin before continuing. “I want you to know that I love you. So much. And if it hadn’t been for…” she paused, closed her eyes, and shook her head. Lena placed her own hand over Kara’s to hold it in place and show that she understood what she meant. Mon-El. “…well, who knows what could have happened by now with us. But now, things got so… so messed up, and I just wanted to tell you that you shouldn’t wait for me.”

Lena was extremely confused. A roller coaster of emotions ran through her at the mini-speech Kara gave. She gripped Kara’s hand tighter, but the superhero was still talking.

“I don’t want you to wait for me to get my head together and waste your time on me. I just want you to do whatever makes you happy. Okay?” She looked at Lena with her eyes shining gray in the moonlight.

“Of course,” Lena whispered with another squeeze to Kara’s hand on her jaw, “but, just so you know, I’d wait forever for you and still be happy just to be your friend.” She gave a small smile, which Kara immediately returned.

Kara shifted to press their foreheads together, and Lena could feel the pull of her lulling her to sleep. They brought their hands down off of Lena’s face to meet between them, their feet tangled slightly at the other end of the bed.

Of course, it was the best night’s sleep Lena had ever gotten.

[dimensiontripperhibiki]

Hold it Together (As We Fall Apart)

Summary: Kara and Lena try to move on after 5x08, slowly realizing their true feelings as everything crumbles around them. My first venture into writing Supergirl. Hopefully, you guys enjoy this and want me to continue. I look forward to diving further into Supercorp shipping!Note: Maybe include crisis/the aftermath of Crisis.Let me know if you think I should continue. :)

Kara let out a shuddering breath as she slowly brushed her thumb over Lena’s jaw, her eyes misted with tears. She wished that she could actually touch her best friend again, that it wasn’t just a photo she was touching but after what she’d done she wasn’t sure she would ever have the opportunity again. There was a light knock at her door and Kara looked up, surprised that she hadn’t heard anyone approaching. Usually, her super hearing would have picked it up. Her heart leaped with hope and she narrowed her eyes, using her x-ray vision on the door. Her heart sank in despair when she saw that it wasn’t Lena. “Kara?”

Kara begrudgingly set the photo she’d been holding onto the coffee table and got to her feet. She walked across the room, hastily wiping away her tears as she did so and opened the door to greet Nia.

“Nia.” Kara managed a meek smile at the sight of her friend. “What are you doing here? Did Alex send you?”

As Kara stepped out of the way to allow her entrance, Nia stepped into the loft, closing the door behind her. “No, of course not. Why would you even think…” She paused at Kara’s disbelieving stare. “Okay, maybe she called and mentioned you weren’t feeling great but coming over was my idea, I swear! I brought potstickers!” Kara blinked at the paper bag Nia was suddenly holding in front of her face. Usually, she’d be salivating at the thought of her favorite food but now her stomach just clenched uncomfortably at the thought of eating anything. “I-I’m not really hungry. Thank you though.” Nia’s brow furrowed in confusion at the response. That definitely wasn’t normal for Kara. “You heard me say potstickers, right?” She let her hand fall to her side as she watched Kara look away like she felt guilty at not accepting the offer of her favorite food. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here for what happened with Lena.” Kara swallowed thickly against the lump that formed in her throat at the mention of Lena’s name. “It’s okay. I’m okay, I just need t-to figure out how to fix this. I’m not giving up on her. I can’t give up.” Nia watched as Kara made her way back to the couch, sitting back down. She carefully set the bag in her hand on Kara’s counter before she made her way toward her friend, sitting down next to her. “Maybe instead of the food, you could use some company instead?” Kara nodded, tears clouding her eyes at the thoughtful suggestion. She didn’t deserve such amazing friends. “I would like that. Thanks, Nia.” Nia moved closer to Kara, wrapping an arm around her shoulders to hug her from the side. “What are friends for?” She hadn’t expected the rhetorical question to garner a response from Kara and her eyes widened when a broken sob escaped the girl of steel. “Oh, I-I’m sorry…” Kara shook her head against Nia’s shoulder. “It’s my fault.” She replied through tears. “I should have been a better friend, I should have been honest. Instead, I was just a...a coward. And look what’s happened because of it.” “You did what you thought was best,” Nia replied gently, her chest aching as Kara’s tears soaked through her sweater. Her words were weak, not because she didn’t believe them - she absolutely did, with every fiber of her being, but because she knew that Kara wouldn’t believe what she was saying. “You don’t have to blame yourself.” “But it’s my fault!” Kara jerked away from Nia. Her eyes widened when she saw the surprise on Nia’s face. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” “I’m not afraid of you, Kara. Well maybe a little, you could...actually snap me in two if you wanted to. But I know you wouldn’t. I trust you.” “I should have trusted Lena.” Kara murmured, lifting her hand to wipe her face with her sleeve. She cleared her throat, trying to compose herself. She had cried more than she deserved to already. Even if she wanted to curl up into a ball and sob until she couldn’t anymore, she wouldn’t. “Let’s talk about something else. How are you and Brainy?” A smile sprung to Nia’s face at the mention of Brainy. “W-We’re good. Great actually. But are you sure you want to talk about that?” “Why wouldn’t I? It’s not like I broke up with my girlfrie-” Kara paused as her heart leaped in her chest for some unknown reason. “Lena is my best friend but that’s all.” Nia was unconvinced, especially as she looked down and saw the photo Kara had obviously been clutching before she got there. She reached down, carefully picking it up and set it down on the coffee table in front of them. Kara stared longingly at the picture. She missed those days. When Lena was her friend, when Kara could walk into a room and give the CEO a hug for no reason besides the two of them not seeing each other for a couple of days. When Lena didn’t hate her enough to imprison her in the fortress of solitude. Kara wished she’d made more use of that time she’d had with Lena. Now she might never get the chance again. “Kara?” Nia pressed gently, resting her hand lightly on Kara’s knee. Blue eyes flicked back to her own. “Did you hear what I said?” Kara silently shook her head. Nia smiled gently. “I said how about I go and warm up those potstickers for us and you try to eat something? We can watch a movie to take your mind off things.” “Right…” Kara said faintly, still lost in her own thoughts. She shook her head, forcing herself to focus. Alex had said she would be stopping by later and Kara was well aware of how her sister could get when she didn’t think Kara was taking good enough care of herself. “Thanks, Nia.” “Anytime.” As Nia got up to reheat their food, Kara sank into the back of the couch, her eyes glued to the picture. She had fought hard for Lena, sure, but she would do that for any of her friends...wouldn’t she? ---- Lena stared blankly at the plain white ceiling above her bed. She couldn’t sleep. Her thoughts tormented her too relentlessly for her to be able to catch a few precious minutes of sleep. Exhaustion would catch up on her. She knew that. Eventually, she would succumb to the blissful reprieve of slumber and she wouldn’t have to think anymore. She wouldn’t be stuck with thoughts of Kara racing through her mind. No, she corrected herself sharply, her brow furrowing, Not Kara. Supergirl. She isn’t Kara anymore. Not her Kara. Maybe she had never been her Kara. Maybe her Kara wasn’t even real. 

Supergirl had lied to her, used her. Made Lena believe that Kara Danvers was someone she wasn’t. Staring at the ceiling, Lena remembered the blinding fear she’d felt when she’d thought that Kara was in danger. She’d never felt fear like that before. “Kara, the safest place for you to be right now is with me.” Kara must have thought her to be such an idiot for saying that. It was laughable. A Luthor trying to protect a Super. Her feeble attempts must have been hilarious to supergirl. “Kara, are you okay?!” “Yeah. Mercy must have hired terrible marksman. They totally missed me.” Lena gritted her teeth and twisted onto her side, curling into a ball as tears prickled at her eyes. “I’m about to die but at least I lived without ever being a fool.” Lex’s words rang in her ears as if he were in the very same room as her. He was right, she had been a fool. She’d been a fool to turn her back on her vow to never let anyone in. She’d been a fool to trust Kara as much as she had. She’d been a fool to not see what was right in front of her. She hated Kara for doing that to her. She hated her. She hated her with every fiber of her being. “Kara Danvers, YOU are my hero.” Lena buried her face into her pillow, crying silently into the soft cotton. She wished she could just make it stop, that she could just forget it all. She’d prefer anything to this utter misery she was feeling. Kara Danvers had crushed her, had humiliated her. Had broken her as nobody else could. 

---- “Alex! Alex, help me!” Kara’s hands pounded against the small glass window of the pod she was confined in, her breath coming in short, panicked gasps. She could feel the burning agony of kryptonite coursing through her, seeping her power away. Outside of the pod, there was darkness, pure darkness with no sight of the person she was calling for. Alex wouldn’t be coming to save her this time. Nobody was going to come. Still, Kara slammed her hands frantically against the glass. She couldn’t get out. There was no escaping the prison she’d been trapped in. “Alex! ALEX!” “ALEX!” “Hey, hey, hey!” Alex caught Kara’s arms as her sister bolted upright in bed. The force with which Kara had sprung up with almost had Alex tumbling to the floor but she managed to steady herself before she could fall. “Kara! Hey, you’re okay. I’m here. It’s okay.” It took a moment but finally, Kara’s wide, tear-filled baby blue eyes focused on Alex’s worried face. “A-Alex, I-I…” “It’s okay.” Alex crawled further onto the bed and Kara fell forward into her arms, her tears coming thicker and faster. “It’s okay,” Alex repeated, gently running her hand over Kara’s hair. “It was just a nightmare. You’re safe, I promise.” “I couldn’t get out.” Kara choked brokenly into Alex’s shoulder. “I was calling for you a-and you weren’t...I couldn’t...a-and Lena…” Alex gently shushed Kara, trying to calm her down while also trying to quell the sudden feeling of fury blooming in her chest. Lena had better hope that she didn’t find herself in Alex’s path anytime soon. “I was so scared.” Kara whimpered into the shirt Alex had borrowed from her when she’d gotten there. “I didn’t think you were coming…” “Of course I was coming,” Alex said firmly. “You think a crazy Luthor and an impenetrable fortress would be enough to keep me away?” She felt Kara tense in her arms and gave her a gentle squeeze. “I’m just joking, Kara.” Kara nodded and slowly pulled away, wiping at her eyes. Alex didn’t miss the subtle tremble of Kara’s hands. “It’s been a long time since you had dreams like this,” Alex remarked softly. She remembered Kara used to have them all of the time when she was younger. Nightmares. Panic attacks at being in an even slightly enclosed space. Kara guiltily bowed her head. “I’m okay…” “No, you’re not.” Alex disagreed with a sad smile. “It’s okay not to be okay, Kara. It’s only me here. You don’t have to hide it from me.” Kara chewed thoughtfully on her lower lip for a moment before she nodded her head. “Will you stay here with me?” She jerked her head toward the pillow next to her own. “I don’t want to…” “Of course. I was sleeping here anyway. Nia’s crashed on your couch. I don’t think she wanted to leave until I got here and I was...really late.” Alex said sheepishly. “I didn’t have the heart to wake her.” As Kara lay down, Alex moved to lie next to her. As Kara turned onto her back to face the ceiling, Alex turned onto her side to silently watch Kara. Kara was silent for a few long moments before she spoke, her voice trembling. “I really...I love her, Alex.” Alex knew that Kara wasn’t talking about Nia. “I know.” Kara swallowed convulsively. “She’s my best friend.” She murmured before she turned onto her side. Alex stared at Kara’s back, wondering why her sister had felt the need to elaborate on what she’d meant. “Kara…” “Goodnight, Alex.” Alex sighed softly. Kara was stubborn. If she didn’t want to talk, she wasn’t going to talk. “Goodnight.” ----- A week later “You can do it, Danvers.” Kara mumbled to herself as she stared at herself in the mirror. Thankfully she had checked that nobody else was in the stalls before she’d started talking to herself in the mirror. “It’s just a day at work, that’s all. Just a normal day at work.” She tucked her hair behind her ears, letting out a slow breath. She hated to admit it but her work had suffered after everything that had happened with her and Lena. She could barely focus on anything anymore. Everything at CatCo reminded her of Lena. She knew that she couldn’t keep doing this to herself. She had to give Lena time and space, that was all. She needed to give Lena time to heal. As much as it pained her to do so. Kara was torn from her thoughts by her phone ringing in her pocket. She quickly scrambled to answer it, noticing it was Alex. “Hey, Alex. I was…” “Kara, it’s Lena.” Alex interjected before Kara could finish speaking. “Something’s going down at L-Corp. There’s talk of shooters. You can get there faster than us. I know she-” Kara didn’t let Alex finish what she was saying. She dropped her phone and tore her glasses off before fleeing the bathroom, followed by the building as her suit formed around her. Her super speed had never felt slower than at that moment and Kara was struck by the idea that she wished Barry was there to give her a boost. “Come on, come on…” Kara gritted her teeth to push herself faster. It could have only been seconds but it felt like hours before she finally burst into Lena’s office. She glanced frantically around, noticing the office was smashed up, the entire contents of Lena’s desk seemingly on the floor. Her super-hearing picked up the sound of a smash beneath her feet and without hesitation she dashed off again, making her way down to Lena’s lab. She crashed through the door, still at a speed that would easily rival the Flash’s. Her eyes widened when she saw Lena standing with her back against the wall, her eyes wide with fear as five heavily armed men pointed their guns at her and pulled the triggers. Without thinking, Kara flew across the room, pressing Lena against the wall with her own body. Time seemed to speed up around her again as she cupped the back of Lena’s head drawing it to her shoulder to shield her. Bullets hit her back, falling harmlessly to the ground but the men kept firing, clearly alarmed at the sudden presence of Supergirl. Kara held Lena throughout it, feeling the woman trembling in her arms. Her face was pressed into Kara’s neck, her hands clutching at Kara’s back under her cape. Kara couldn’t feel the bullets but she could vividly feel Lena’s nails digging into her shoulder blades through her suit. Guiltily, Kara couldn’t help but soak in the feeling of being so close to Lena. She’d missed it. Her warmth, her scent. Everything about her. Finally, the shooting died down and Kara reluctantly pulled away. Lena’s eyes met hers and Kara swallowed thickly. She hesitated for a moment before she remembered the men behind them and turned on them, anger blazing in her eyes. “Shit…” One of the men muttered, struggling to reload his gun as Kara advanced on him. Just as he lifted his weapon, he was hit with a punch to the jaw, knowing him unconscious. Lena let out a slow breath as Kara dealt with the mean who’d attacked her, disarming them one by one. Kara let the final mercenary fall to the ground and she made her way quickly back to Lena. “Are you okay? W-Were you hit?!” Lena silently shook her head. She was still shaken, she had to admit but she didn’t want to let it show. “I’m fine, Supergirl.” Kara grimaced slightly but chose to ignore Lena’s pointed comment. She looked down at Lena’s wrist, frowning slightly. “You don’t have the watch I gave you…?” “I have it somewhere,” Lena answered, trying to seem nonchalant about it. “I don’t see the need for it anymore. You can have it back if you wa…” “Why didn’t you use it?! What the hell were you thinking, Lena? You could have died!” Kara was close. Suddenly too close and Lena felt like she couldn’t breathe. “I didn’t want you!” She pushed at Supergirl’s chest but of course, the Kryptonian didn’t budge. “I don’t want you. That’s why I didn’t call you.” Hurt flickered across Kara’s expression, her anger replaced by pain. “Lena…” Lena gritted her teeth and looked away. She couldn’t stand it. The way Kara said her name. Gentle and reverently. Like she cared. She was momentarily distracted by Alex rushing into the room with a few other agents. “I believe I made my feelings perfectly clear, Supergirl. I don’t want you here.” Kara’s lip trembled. “Lena, I’m sorry. I just…I know you don’t want to see me. I know you...hate me. That I hurt you more than...more than I can imagine but don’t do this. Don’t put yourself at risk to get back at me. I’m not worth it. I’m here if you need me. It doesn’t have to be as a friend but I can protect you if you’re in danger and...” “You’re rambling, Supergirl.” Lena snapped, effectively silencing Kara. “You’re the very last person I would want to protect me after what you’ve do-” “Alright, enough!” Alex suddenly appeared between them, her hand going to Kara’s arm. “Supergirl, leave. I’ve got this from here.” “Alex…” Kara’s teary eyes turned to Alex. Pleading with her. “I won’t hurt her,” Alex said softly. It was a promise she hoped she could keep. “Go.” Lena stared at Kara as the woman glanced at her one last time before she flew off. She barely had time to breathe a sigh of relief before Alex turned on her, anger written across her face. “I understand that you’re angry and hurt. That you feel betrayed.” Alex said, keeping her voice low. “But what you’re doing is cruel. What you’ve done to her is cruel!” Lena’s eyebrows shot up. “I’m being cruel?! What about what she’s…” “How could she tell you?!” Alex interrupted sharply. “You barely even liked Supergirl! She thought you’d hate her. That you’d stop being her friend.” “That’s not the…” Alex held up a hand. “I’m not finished! Do you know she’s been having nightmares since you locked her in that prison?!” “What?” Lena’s brow furrowed in confusion. “She knew I wasn’t going to kill her, she…” “She’s claustrophobic!” Alex hissed, trembling with anger. “And you attacked her with Kryptonite even though you know how she feels about it!” Lena stayed silent, at a loss for words. She hadn’t known that. How hadn’t she known that? Alex scoffed and turned to walk away. Lena may have still been her friend but Alex was too angry to even look at her. She was surprised to see that during her exchange with Lena and Supergirl, the other DEO agents had dragged the mercenaries out of there. “Alex.” Alex paused near the door, debating whether she should respond to Lena or not. She turned her head slightly. “What, Lena?” “I wasn’t Supergirl’s biggest fan at times,” Lena spoke softly, the crack in her voice betraying her feelings. “But I was Kara Danvers’. I would have hoped she’d known that. That she would have trusted me. Clearly, I misread our friendship.” Alex let out a soft sigh. “She adores you, Lena. She made a mistake, that’s all. Who doesn’t?” Lena opened her mouth to answer but she stopped as Alex walked away. Trembling, she slid down the wall, her hand going to her chest. She could still feel Kara’s warmth. TBC?

[allondonboy]

Medicine for the Soul (Ch 10)

Chapter 10 - Andante: dolce e più piano  (Ch 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

SO it's been a hot minute huh

thanks for all your support, especially those of you who've been following for a while. i'd love to hear what you think about this chapter.

thanks as always to anna @thisiismetrying for everything, including proofing

i think there are two more after this, and i'll do my best to not a) take fourteen / 14 months for the next update or b) kill the usb my master doc is on without an up-to-date backup oops

---

The side effect of becoming better friends with Vasquez is that they become even less concerned about calling Alex out during rehearsals than they had been before.

Unfortunately, they deserve it. Movements one and two of the concerto, they admit they’ve got down, but the third? That’s new in every kind of way. They’d never had time to work on it with their teacher. Jeremiah had never heard them massacre it. Moving on to arguably the happiest movement feels a lot like moving on from Jeremiah and they can almost feel the emotion-proof walls go up around their heart again.

As their rehearsal draws to a close, Alex takes a long drink of water and wipes their forehead with the back of their hand. Vasquez nods, satisfied, and closes the music.

“You definitely stand a good chance, Danvers,” they say. “If you nail the third movement, you’re almost certain to win.”

“What’s wrong with it?” Alex runs through what they just played and sure, there are a couple of bits that need work but nothing they can identify as truly problematic.

“It’s flat.”

Alex’s frown deepens and they swing their violin back up and start retuning. Vasquez sighs.

“Not that kind of flat. Add some bounce.”

“Some bounce,” Alex repeats slowly.

“Molto vivace, Danvers. Lively.”

“It is lively.”

“Look.” Vasquez shuts the piano and turns to face them. “The first two sound like you want us to know why you’re playing. The third is just notes. Boring, regular, notes. You need to bounce.”

“I don’t bounce,” Alex tries to reiterate, but Vasquez is standing and handing them the music and it comes out almost as a question.

“My advice? Learn to.”

“You’ll be playing to an audience. Take that tree.” She points to the tree outside the window. The branches are bare, covered in a light frost, and it looks almost sad by the road. “Play to it.”

“You want me to play to a tree.”

“Yes.” Their teacher meets their stubborn gaze with her own. “What, are you scared it’s going to judge you?”

Alex fights back a sneer at the thought of a tree scaring them and gets into position. “Pfft. Not at all.”

Okay, it’s harder than they thought to play to an inanimate object. They can feel their teacher’s eyes on them and flick a glare subconsciously towards her. She catches it and turns away. Alex’s shoulders still have pressure on them and they press them back until they’ve waited too long for this to be a normal getting-in-the-zone pause and they raise their bow.

“Hello, tree,” they mutter under their breath, and then they begin.

It’s weird, playing to a lump of wood. Their fingers find the familiar notes and patterns and their body starts to sway with the melody, rising and falling with the dynamics and drawing the story out of their body – not that they know what the story is, but the wind against the tree outside is oddly captivating and they find themselves trying to talk to the tree through the music as they go.

The last note pings through the room into nothingness. Their teacher claps slowly.

“Brava,” she says. Alex is disconnected from the world. They’re foggy – like they’re in the room but not properly. “That’s what you need to do every time.”

Well yeah, that would be easy if they knew what they’d done.

There’s a knock on the door and Alex swallows a groan to open it. Maggie is there, flannel pushed up to her elbows, nose red with cold even in the early summer warmth. She gives a cautious smile and Alex opens the door wider.

“Maggie, hey, come in,” they say. “Ignore the pyjamas.”

“I have seen them before, Danvers, and they’re still cute.” Maggie hesitates in the doorway and takes a deep breath. “Is now a good time to cash in that rain check on seeing the stars?”

Alex searches Maggie’s face for a second then responds with a quiet “sure.”

Maggie nods, once, and Alex gestures to their pants. “I’ll just change.”

“Don’t want to show the world your exquisite taste in sleepwear?” Lucy’s voice comes from behind her wardrobe door. “Hey, Sawyer.”

Maggie takes another step into the room and shuts the door. “The world can’t handle their sleepwear, Lane.”

“Is that why I found it on the floor the last time you stayed over?”

“What can I say, Alex makes anything and nothing look good.”

“Oh, Sawyer.”

At the note of glee in Lucy’s voice, Alex, blushing red to the tips of their ears, flips her off and shoves their feet into their nearest pair of boots. “Not every part of my life is for your enjoyment, Lucy.”

“Wrong,” sings Lucy with a wink at Maggie. Maggie laughs and Alex shrugs on their jacket.

“I hate you,” they inform Lucy, who beams at them.

“Wrong again,” she says, “you love me.”

“Sure, sure,” says Alex. They pick up Lucy by the waist and shuffle to the right, placing her by her bed and moving her out of the way of the drawer they open to retrieve a small flashlight. They nod at Maggie, hand hovering over the door handle, and stuff their keys into their pocket along with their phone and the flashlight. “Let’s go.”

Lucy tugs her shirt straight and follows Alex to the door as they leave. “Stay safe, kids. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

“We won’t do anything you would do, either,” Maggie calls over her shoulder to Alex’s chortle.

--

They walk in silence, the crunch of their boots and the whistle of their breath the only sound in the night air. Occasionally, there’s the hint of hesitation from beside them that can only be Maggie trying to work out what to say. They don’t want to rush her however much they ache to know why so much anxiety is radiating off her.

Maggie’s hands shake as she pulls out another packets of mints.

“You get the best view from down here,” says Alex, sinking to the floor and laying down, arms folded across their torso. Maggie spends a moment looking down at them, face barely illuminated by the little moonlight, before joining them, a couple of inches apart, soft grass cushioning them both.

“I only know a few constellations,” says Maggie eventually. Alex can’t tell if that’s an invitation to expand, so they don’t.

“My grandfather died.”

Maggie’s voice cuts through the air and Alex simultaneously feels the familiar burn of grief and an unexpected shiver at Maggie’s blank voice.

“I’m sorry,” they say.

“It’s, whatever,” she says, shrugging, and Alex turns onto their side.

“It’s not whatever,” they say emphatically. Maggie doesn’t reply and Alex rolls back onto their back.

Maggie sighs. “I heard it from my cousin. I’ve not been invited to the funeral.”

“What?” Alex sits up. “You – why not?”

“When I told you that my parents were supportive of my coming out, I lied. When they found out I was a lesbian, my dad kicked me out and I had to live with an aunt for three years.”

“Maggie…”

Maggie holds up a hand. “It’s whatever, Danvers.”

“It’s not whatever,” says Alex again, “and we are going to talk about it, but not now. We don’t need to discuss that now. Okay?”

Maggie shrugs again. She plucks a handful of grass out of the ground and shreds it so it falls on her.

“My uncle’s kids and my aunt are the only family who still talk to me, and that’s how I found out, because they wanted to know if I needed somewhere to stay.”

“That’s… I’m sorry.” Alex winces at how lame it sounds.

“Tell me about them,” they say quietly once seconds of silence have stretched into minutes, and Maggie’s breath catches. “If you want to.”

“I…” Maggie takes a deep breath and Alex waits, but she doesn’t speak.

“There’s no pressure,” Alex reassures her gently. They deliberately place their hand between them and after a moment’s pause Maggie laces her fingers with theirs.

“Vovô taught me to play.” Maggie’s fingers tap absentmindedly on Alex’s. “I’d sit on his knee and he’d cover my hands with his and play. I have no idea how he managed to play with me in the way.”

The tapping ceases.

“He gave me my cavaquinho.” The choking of her voice makes her tongue stumble on the Portuguese word. “He taught me samba.”

Alex squeezes her fingers gently.

“He tried to teach my cousins, but the only one who had the patience was José and he preferred cooking, so Vovô and I would play for him and my grandmother while they cooked. It was our thing. It’s the only thing about my family I can remember being proud of.”

Alex watches her brow furrow and resists the urge to soothe it with their hand.

Maggie swallows, hard. “I don’t know what my parents told him about me. It wouldn’t surprise me if he died thinking I was an abomination. I don’t even know if he’d want me at the funeral.”

Unbidden, Alex’s mind jumps to the days surrounding Jeremiah’s funeral – the funeral itself hidden inside a bottle – and their heart burns in sympathy.

Their instinctive reaction is to reassure Maggie that he would want her there – but even as the thought flits through their mind they realise that they’d have hated that, the automatic platitude in the midst of an unnecessarily complicated situation.

Regardless, some of her living family do not want her there, and Alex knows the rekindled burn of familial distance and disgust all too well to suggest Maggie even contemplate putting herself in that position.

“I don’t know either,” Alex says, “but I know that you have an aunt that loves you enough to take you in, and cousins who love you enough to offer you somewhere to stay. And you’ve got me.” They give a crooked smile and catch Maggie’s tear-filled eyes. She gives a watery smile back. “You’ve got me and Lucy and Kara. We’re your family now.”

Alex knows they’ve said the right thing when the grip on their hand gets tighter and tighter and Maggie slowly curls into their chest and they hold her as she grieves not just the man who meant so much to her, but the love she lost with him.

---

Alex doesn’t know how to bring up the fact that Maggie lied to them. They can see she doesn’t either, with the way she worries her lip and her shoulders hunch whenever Alex reaches out to her.

It’s not until one afternoon when they open the door to head out to do the groceries and find Maggie with her hand raised to knock that they finally talk.

Maggie slips into their room silently. Alex closes the door and joins her on the bed, sitting cross-legged beside her but half an arm’s distance away.

“I wanted to tell you.” Maggie’s voice is gravelly, as though she hasn’t spoken in days.

“Then why didn’t you?”

“I don’t know, okay? Maybe I didn’t want to scare you. I wanted it to be better for you. I wanted to give you hope that your mom might come around.”

“Maggie - ”

“You never see the happy endings for people like us. They never give us a story where the lesbians live happily ever after with the slow dancing and the dogs and the arguments over how to load the dishwasher. And I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like for non-binary people.”

“It’s not a competition. No type of discrimination or oppression or whatever the fuck word you want to use trumps another.” Alex swivels so they’re completely facing Maggie, though she doesn’t move and continues staring at the carpet. “One person’s rough time doesn’t cancel out someone else’s.” 

Maggie shrugs.

“No, Maggie. You are your own person, first and foremost, with your own past and your own list of likes and dislikes and shoving that down for someone else’s sake? Not going to wash with me, especially if you’re so insistent that I work on that too.”

Maggie shrugs again and still doesn’t move to face Alex. “You don’t deserve to have to deal with my troubles on top of yours,” she says bluntly and Alex works their jaw.

“My choice, right?” they say, and then: “Tell me about it?” in the same gentle tone in which they’d asked her to tell me about them? up on the hill.

Maggie stays where she is, elbows on her knees, hair falling over her face as the last barrier between Alex and the onslaught of emotions fighting its way out of her. Her fingers dig into the pads of her thumbs as her hands settle into clenched fists. Alex takes one of them and rubs the tension out of it and with it, a trembling breath leaves Maggie.

“I had this friend when I was fourteen - Eliza Wilkie. We'd hang out in her parents' basement, watching horror flicks, and smoking cigarettes. She was the first girl that I knew that I liked in a way that was different. And I thought that she liked me, too. And so, on Valentine's Day, I put a card in her locker declaring my feelings and asking her to the dance. Well, she gave that card to her parents, and then they called my parents, and that's how I was outed.”

Alex can almost feel the puzzle pieces fall into place in their mind. “And that’s why you don’t like Valentine’s Day.”

“Yeah. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry about that.”

“Don’t be silly. I’m not going to force you to celebrate something that brings up bad memories for you.”

Maggie shifts uncomfortably. “You wanted to celebrate and I stopped you. I want to make you happy.”

“I don’t want you to change who you are to accommodate me.” Alex’s words are hard and their eyes fierce. Maggie’s head snaps up to look at them for the first time since she arrived, so startled at the conviction in their voice. “You’ve had enough people demanding that of you, people who should be uplifting and supporting you. I’m not one of them, Maggie. You don’t have to be guarded with me, okay?”

Maggie breathes out, and then Alex is gathering her in their arms, cradling her head against their shoulder like she’s done with them so many times.

“I am here to help you heal,” they say softly. “On your own terms, as your own person.”

---

In the end, Maggie decides not to go to the funeral, but it doesn’t mean they haven’t talked about it together at length and it doesn’t mean there isn’t a small part of her that thinks she should be there.

More than once, Alex reminds her that they have the ability to buy her a last-minute ticket if she needs it. More than once, Maggie shakes her head and says that midterms have to be her priority.

Moving on, she calls it.

Alex privately calls it avoidance but isn’t going to argue when having her close means that they can look after her.

The closer it gets, the less Maggie talks about it, and the more Alex starts to dominate conversation again.

They can’t help it: the conversation swings around to them every time and the rambling begins again and their last paper went exceptionally badly, and they’re toying with their Stanford hoodie with not an unsubstantial amount of hatred flaring up at the pressure Eliza puts on them to study in a top programme in a top school, until they have to say something because the silence is getting to them and they can feel their head about to explode.

“For fuck’s sake!”

The sudden exclamation from Maggie jolts them and it becomes clear that she’s at the same stage. She presses the heels of her hands into her eyes and Alex leans over to rub her shoulder.

“It’s a bit of a double-edged sword, isn’t it?” Alex says. “The prestige of being here but then the pressure to live up to it all.”

Maggie still doesn’t speak but reaches up to hold Alex’s hand on her shoulder. Alex starts playing with her fingers.

“But, as so many people have been saying to me for years, if you don’t get the grades you want, you just pick yourself up and try - ”

“I’m on scholarship, Danvers.” It’s almost a laugh. Alex slams their mouth shut as they let the pieces fall into place.

“Oh.”

“I don’t get a second chance. I screw up and I give them an excuse to throw me out, and it’s back to waitressing for racist, sexist pigs, or – or busking on the streets, barely making ends meet. Not that I’m doing much better here.”

“Oh,” Alex says again, because that’s all they can think. Maggie gets off the bed and dusts herself off, heading for her desk again and looking for all the world like she’s about to cry.

“So, thanks for the pep talk, Danvers, but I really need to – oomph.”

Alex is behind her as her voice starts to crack and wraps their arms around her, drawing her head into their chest and cradling her pounding heart against their own as Maggie lets the exhaustion seep into their shirt.

“Working yourself to exhaustion isn’t going to help you in the long run,” Alex says into a mouthful of hair, suddenly discovering all the things buried in their brain that people have told them over the years to the same effect, and rubs Maggie’s back. “Seriously, it’s a crap place to be. Have at least a power nap, and then if you really want to, you can go back to work, yeah?”

Maggie nods into their chest.

“Want me to leave you to it?” Alex tries to pull back to look into Maggie’s face but she clings on and shakes her head. “Okay.”

They carefully spin them round so they can help Maggie slide under the blanket on her bed. They make sure she’s comfortable and press a quick kiss to her forehead.

“I’ll be back in a minute – binder,” they say softly, and Maggie hums, eyes already closing as she sinks further into the mattress. Alex comes back to her tiny snuffles, forehead finally free of frown lines, and quickly untangles Maggie’s legs from the blanket before sliding in next to her. They fire a quick text off to Lucy to let her know of their whereabouts, and within seconds, the reassuring weight of their girlfriend’s body in their arms is enough to send them off to sleep too.

---

Alex knows that midterms and finals turn them into some sort of monster. According to Lucy, however, Maggie somewhat dampens the effects due to the simple fact that they both spend equal amounts of time switching between comforting the other and panicking themselves.

By the time midterms are done, the competition is near and Alex realises they haven’t told Maggie. How do you casually bring up that you’re playing in a college-wide music competition when your girlfriend is going through a not-so-small crisis? They’re acutely aware that tact is something they’ve been lacking for a while, and in an attempt to focus more on Maggie, they decide to keep quiet on it for the time being.

What they don’t admit to themselves is that there’s a not insignificant part of them that worries she’ll think it’s stupid.

Keeping it quiet ends up being the worst thing they could do. Maggie gets increasingly tense every time Alex gives a new excuse for why they can’t hang out with her, and a rift between them starts to make itself known. That it comes after Alex called Maggie out for lying to them doesn’t help, and they catch themselves with it on the tip of their tongue multiple times before they finally take the plunge of letting it spill out, one afternoon when Maggie asks if they want to properly go out for dinner one weekend.

“Oh, I can’t on Saturday,” realises Alex, and it hits them that this is as good a time as any to tell Maggie. “I have an audition.”

“Oh?”

“The, uh, concerto competition?”

“Yeah?” Maggie’s quirked smile becomes a bigger grin. “That’s awesome!”

Alex’s breath escapes them in a relieved whoosh of air. “Yeah?”

“What did you think I’d think?” says Maggie with an air of mild bewilderment. Alex gives a one-armed shrug. Maggie leans up to kiss them and their cheeks warm.

“You want to come with?” they ask hesitantly. “Then I could still see you, even if we can’t go out.”

The hand Maggie reaches out to grasp Alex’s forearm with is gentle in contrast to how much she lights up, and she runs her thumb over the crease in their elbow. “I’d love to, Danvers. Thank you.”

---

Vasquez stands and stretches.

“Ready, Danvers?”

Alex stares at the door and wipes their free, sweaty palm down the front of their pants.

“No.”

They spin abruptly and come face-to-top-of-head with their girlfriend.

“Yes.”

“No,” says Alex again.

Maggie cups their cheek with her hand. They close their eyes. “I don’t know what I’m doing, Maggie,” they whisper.

Neither of them see Lucy stride up behind Alex and smack them upside the head, sending their forehead into Maggie’s with a resounding thwack.

“Sorry, Sawyer. Danvers, don’t talk trash. Get that handsome head in the game right now and go dazzle some musicians.”

Before Alex can register what Lucy just said, she’s opening the door with one hand and shoving them through it with the other, gesturing Vasquez through and waving at Alex, who’s doing an excellent impression of a deer caught in the headlights as the door closes on them.

[retro-aesthe]

Sidelines (Part 4)

(Hi! I’ve had a bit of writer’s block... but here it is. Tho it’s kinda more like a filler chapter... kind’a long... and btw, i plan for this story to only have 5 parts so... one more to go! anywayyyyyyy there we go. Someone requested to be tagged, I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TUMBLR WORKS because before, I literally just reblog and favorite and that’s it. But I’ll try... I’m tryna do my best. AND thank you, all of you out there for the feedback my works had. it was surreal!!! okay enuf now. enjoyyy)

[ @fromthediariesofaoncer hi! ... and... um why can’t I tag you @yanginginthere ? hope u see this]

Alex Danvers x fem!reader

It hurt—the bright light behind your eyelids. It stung, and you wanted to groan so bad because of the bothering pain, but you ended up coughing softly because of the dryness of your throat. You moaned a little at the roughness the smallest cough you’ve ever heard cause you. Then you suddenly realized you’ve been hearing quietness, except for the constant beep and hum of machines.

“Y/n…?” You heard a hesitant voice ask. The immediate response your body made was to open your eyes, to look at the voice’s source. It was a dumb idea, considering how the bright light you were first complaining about surely have blinded you the moment you opened your eyes.

“… blind…” you managed to say. You heard footsteps overpowering the constant hums you’ve been hearing before. Then, there were what seem to be curtains moving—the distinct sound of metal sliding over metal. The light dimmed marginally, but it was significantly bearable compared before.

“Y/n…?” You heard the voice ask once again. You realized you were slowly succumbing to sleep’s enticement. You opened your eyes and Alex Danvers’s face came into view.

It was a horrifying moment of déjà vu, and suddenly you gasped as onslaught of memories attacked you. The earthquake. The woman… bleeding. You, bleeding.

“Lexie!” It was supposedly an exclamation, but you winced when your voice broke at the middle due to the sandpaper currently residing in your throat. You felt your best friend’s arm slightly push you up from your back, and the rim of a cold glass was gently placed on your lower lip.

“Take a sip,” Lexie whispered softly. It was then you noticed that she was the only one in the room aside from you. You cautiously took a sip of the warm water, then thanked god when it soothed the dryness of your throat.

“Lexie, I’m…” you trailed off when you settled back against the comfort of the bed. Your hand was touching the side of your head you remembered bleeding. You fingertips were met by a rough texture which your brain only classified as gauze. You suddenly became aware of everything around you: the gauze, the wires attached to you, the sound of machines, the room—you were in a hospital.

“Bleeding? Yeah, I’m aware. You’ve said that a thousand times already.” Lexie offered a small smile, the worry and concern evident in her eyes.

“What?” you dumbly asked. You were still trying to grasp everything—trying to grasp how the last thing you remembered was… telling Lexie you were bleeding, but it was in a cramped up room.

“You’ve woken up a couple of times in the past 36 hours… and telling me you’re bleeding was always the first thing you keep saying.” You followed Lexie with your eyes as she sat down on the chair beside your bed. You felt her warm hand gently hold yours, making your heartbeat faster… which only became worse when you heard how your heartbeat reflected on the machines. You swore you had an unhealthy red tint form on your cheeks. You turned your head away from your best friend as you’re definitely sure she didn’t miss the machine’s indication of your response to her touch. She went to medical school, for crying out loud!

Your face got even warmer when the hand holding yours squeezed lightly.

“The doctor said you’re expected to actually wake up today. Thank god you chose not to be dramatic for once,” Lexie softly said, making you smile a little. Then, you frowned.

“How long was I out?” you asked, finally registering the fact that you missed a couple of hours because you were unconscious.

“Two days.”

There was silence. Then, “You feel alright?” Lexie asked. You nodded your head slightly, cautious that you might get dizzy of any exaggerated movements. You were looking at her face intently, noting how new stress lines formed, and how Lexie could definitely use a few hours with her bed.

“I’m gonna alert them you’re awake now, okay?” You saw in your peripheral vision that she pressed a button. Silence once again filled the room.

When the doctor and nurses came in the room, the machines were checked and you were asked a few routine questions.

All you can think about the entire time was Lexie not letting go of your hand. It was warm, and though a small gesture, it was the best comfort you’ve ever had in your life.

▫️▫️▫️

“I’m gonna call the others…”

You hate how there was only silence in the room. For the past 10 minutes or so, you and Lexie just held hands, but did not talk about anything at all.

“Wait, Lexie,” you finally managed to say. She immediately looked into your eyes, searching for pain or any indicator that you’re anything besides fine. “Don’t you think we should… talk...? Whatever this is... you know, what’s happening.” You grew frustrated over the fact that you desperately wanted to point out the notable distance between you and your best friend, but can’t because you’re scared. You wanted for Lexie to get the hint, to understand what you were talking about without actually hearing it from you.

“I don’t want to stress you even more, Y/n. You were in surgery three days ago and you didn’t completely wake up for two days,” Lexie said. Your eyes widened at the word “surgery.” Of course, Y/n, your head practically faucet-dripped blood, why in the world wouldn’t you be in surgery?

The silence continued. Your heart aches as the obvious distance between you and Lexie seems to be slowly eating whatever relationship you had with her before. There was hollowness in Lexie’s voice which made you uncomfortable. You hate how everything seems to be changing and you can’t even keep up with its fast phase.

“I miss you,” you said in a low voice, looking at Lexie with pleading eyes. You saw how her posture suddenly went stiff. God damn it…

“You avoided me. For a week.” There was a slight edge in her tone. You winced, because frustrated Lexie is the worst Lexie. She took a deep breath, seemingly trying to calm herself at the sudden rouse of her frustration. You fearfully watched her. You know she wouldn’t do anything to hurt you, but when Lexie’s frustrated, she tends to let everything out, without filter, without breaks.

“You made me leave your apartment, Y/n. I tried to call you hundreds of times—but they all went straight to voicemail. Then I go to your apartment, and you weren’t there, and if it weren’t for Mrs. Lee, I wouldn’t have known that you just left your apartment… or—or something else. I just knew you made it a point to not be there when I could more likely visit you, since you know my schedule so well.

“Then… then next thing I know, you spread your arms wide open in the middle of danger. I had no idea where you were and—fuck—thank god Maggie found you. I had to fucking hear it from Kara that you were injured! You kept avoiding me, and I had no idea where you were and—what if, what if by any chance Maggie wasn’t there and nobody saw you and that woman—god, do you even have a clue how fucking terrified I was, huh, Y/n?”

You know well enough to not disrupt Lexie’s rants whenever she’s on one. You just watched as tears started to form on her eyes, when one fell down. It physically hurts you watching her chin tremble as she tried so hard to keep herself from crying. The grip on your hand became tighter, as if it was Lexie’s lifeline.

“You fell on the ground and I caught you and your head was bleeding so much. There was so much blood, Y/n. Much more than the woman under that damned car. Do you know how fucking scared I was when you wouldn’t wake up? The ambulance came and you still didn’t. Then we were in the ambulance and you did and all you told me was that you’re bleeding. God, Y/n, I was so fucking scared. I thought I was going to lose you… there was… there was so much blood and—and—“

A few tears leaked from your eyes as Lexie let go of your hand and curled down as sobs racked her form. You would have reached out, had it been possible for you to get up without help. You watched her helplessly, willing her with your eyes to look at you and hug you and lie down with you and just… lean on you.

“I’m so sorry, Lexie…” you said quietly, but your words were drowned out by her gasps and sniffs. After a minute or so, she straightened up and wiped her tears away. Tears were still streaming down her face but she looked at you with so much sorrow in her eyes.

Her left hand went on holding your free hand while her right hand reached out to wipe the few tears that escaped your eyes. The soft gesture made a few tears flow even more and you keep muttering “I’m sorry” to her. She was shaking her head then squeezed your hand tighter.

“I hate that I can’t blame anyone for what happened to you,” she admitted, her eyes training towards your bandaged head.

“I can’t lose you, Y/n,” she whispered, her voice coming out a plea. You offered a small smile to her, reveling in the comfort of her hand cradling your cheek.

“You won’t,” you said softly. The one week of avoiding Lexie gave you enough time to adjust to the situation. It was enough to prepare you for Maggie’s constant presence in your life, and the constant pain it will bring. The one week was enough to convince yourself to go back to what was before, to just ignore the kiss that happened and to not hope it will ever happen again.

Lexie will only just be your best friend.

▫️▫️▫️

The topic resurfaced on the third day after waking up. The whole gang was there, since it was Kara’s Earth birthday and she doesn’t want you to miss out on the celebration.

Cupcakes were everywhere, but they don’t beat Lexie’s gift to Kara—a mountain of potstickers. Kara was with you when Lexie arrived, carrying the huge gift she had. You taught Kara was going to solar flare with the excitement flowing from her every pore. Lexie had to physically restrain her from inhaling all of the potstickers in one sitting.

Eliza, J’onn, Winn, James, and Lena (since she definitely knows her girlfriend’s alter-ego) all came 30 minutes after Lexie. They were all creating noise, but you preferred the overlapping words and occasional loud laughter (definitely not Kara’s) over the reruns of Friends (though, you’ll forever love the show), documentaries, and constant hum of machines.

You still couldn’t sit up straight since the gash you had on your left torso was still healing. The bed was angled up slightly, so it could support you as you slightly sat up. Lexie was sitting on the chair beside you. You’ve seen more of her in the past three days than you had in the past three months. She was constantly on your side. Apparently, she chose to sow her invested day-offs just so she could take care of you. After a couple times of urging her to go to J’onn and request to go back to work, she managed to shut you up and just be appreciative of the gesture.

You watched Lexie laugh at something Winn said. She had three potstickers on her plate, and a slice of Eliza’s famous pie.

“So… um, isn’t Maggie part of the I-know-Kara-is-Supergirl squad? Where is she?” you asked lightly. You noticed how Lexie suddenly stopped smiling. You looked at the others. The whole room paused, all looking back at you. Their grave expressions made you think the worst.

“Oh my god,” you said, horrified. You looked at Lexie. “Was she… Is she hurt?” Lexie shook her head. Cold spread over your body. “Dead?!” You looked at the others in horror.

“God, no!” Lexie exclaimed. You looked at her for explanation. Well, what were they expecting? You weren’t a psychic like J’onn.

“Well then what?” you asked, frustrated.

“She broke up with me.” There was an awkward silence that settled in the room. You couldn’t help but notice how Lexie was staring intently at you, and there was just a hint of sadness in her face.

You know you were fucked up when hope practically burst right out of you.

[mountainofgoats]

Puzzle Pieces

Summary: Post mind wipe, Kara seeks comfort from the only place she can think of. Lena steps up. Supercorp if you squint. 

///

               The knock to her door is stuttered and frantic. Like the desperate beating of a trapped animal against its cage.

               She grabs her gun from the bedside table before she answers.

               What she does not expect is to find a trembling, teary eyed Kara Danvers practically slumped against the doorframe.

               Concern immediately replaces suspicion. “Kara what-“

               Kara shakes her head, all but flings herself into Lena’s arms with so much force she nearly drops the gun. She’s absolutely heaving with sobs, something like words spilling from her lips but they’re so ragged that Lena can’t make any sense of them.

               “Okay, okay, it’s okay,” Lena tries, even though clearly nothing is okay. “Shh, Kara, come on.” She holds Kara as tight as she can with the gun still dangling from one hand, hauling her backwards into the apartment and kicking the door shut behind her. Kara lets herself be manhandled onto the couch, where Lena collapses with her practically on her lap. She sits there, murmuring constant and slightly panicked words of comfort while Kara just… falls apart.

               There’s no other words for how Kara is cracking to pieces, absolutely fraying at the seams. She’s nearly hyperventilating, holding on to Lena for dear life, gasping and heaving like she’s drowning. And through it all, she’s rasping out words.

               Or, what sounds like words.

               Foreign words.

               Lena had no idea Kara was bilingual.

               “Kara, I can’t understand you,” she says softly, stroking Kara’s hair and rocking her as much as she can with her best friend half on top of her. “I need English. Or Irish, at least.”

               Kara presses her face farther against Lena’s shoulder, clutching at her. Still crying, shattering to pieces. She gasps out a phrase in that language that Lena has never heard, but she catches one word.

               Kahp sem zehdh. Kahp sem Alex.

               Alex.

               Alex, her sister. Her rock. Her best friend.

               Kara is in pieces, sobbing out her sister’s name, clinging to Lena like she’s the only thing keeping her afloat, and Lena’s panic is only growing. Blood icy, heart thundering, Lena gently pries Kara away just enough to cup her face, swiping away tears from her cheeks. “Kara, what happened?”

God, Lena’s not even sure she wants to know.

               Kara holds Lena’s hands to her face – gasping, heaving – eyes locked on Lena’s with silent desperation. Her blue eyes, usually so bright with life and light, are wild. Haunted. Like she’s in the throes of a waking nightmare.

               “She’s gone,” Kara rasps. Clutching at Lena, tears rolling over her cheeks despite Lena’s constantly stroking fingers. “She wont- she can’t-“

               Oh god oh god oh god. “What are you talking about?”

               Kara squeezes her eyes shut in obvious agony. “She won’t remember. She won’t- she won’t know, she won’t see.” She coughs out another sob, words slurring back into that language that sounds more and more familiar with each word.

               Except the only time Lena’s ever heard it… was before.

               Before Lex was arrested. Before he really, truly went mad.

               Before, when he was just studying Superman.

               When he was trying to decipher Superman’s language. Kryptonian.

               The language that is just spilling out of Kara with the ease of a native speaker.

               “Jesus Christ.”

               ///

Lena’s brain spirals too much to be of much comfort, but Kara soaks her shirt with tears for an hour and doesn’t seem to notice.

               She knows she is still missing vital pieces of the puzzle, but from what she’s been able to discern out of Kara’s anguished cries, she thinks she can build something of a picture.

               And when Kara finally cries herself out and slumps, exhausted and asleep against the back of the couch, Lena eases out from underneath her and immediately plops down at her laptop at the kitchen island.

               She types, taps, searches, and spirals for another hour before there’s a muffled shuffling from the couch.

               “Lena?”

               She looks up, and Kara is sitting up on the couch, groggily rubbing her eyes with the heels of her hands. And for a moment, she looks just so young and lost that Lena forgets for the briefest of seconds that the woman currently stumbling off her couch can literally catch bullets with her bare hands. Has brawled with Superman and Worldkillers and flown prisons into space.

               “There’s Chinese,” Lena blurts. She gestures a little helplessly toward the cartons sitting out on the counter. “If you want.”

               She doesn’t wait for Kara to respond. Just fixes her eyes back on the screen in front of her, at the countless tabs of news articles and videos she’s spent the last hour combing through. Putting the pieces together and feeling more and more ignorant with each one that fell into place.

               How could she not have seen it?

               She feels rather than sees Kara approach. She keeps tapping away at the keys. Knowing the words she’s writing, but feeling oddly disconnected from them.

               “Lena?” Her voice is tiny. “A-about earlier…”

               “You don’t have to explain right now,” Lena says. Please don’t try to explain right now.

               “But I want – you deserve – “

               “Let me rephrase.” Her voice comes out harsh and cold, and Kara flinches back. “I don’t want you to try to explain why you’ve lied to me for the past three years.” Her heart twists and her eyes burn. “I don’t want to hear it, because I’ll probably say something hurtful and, to be honest, I don’t think you can take much more of that tonight. So just… don’t.”

               Kara is clearly fighting tears, throat bobbing as she swallows and hands wringing together so tight her fingers are turning red. And part of Lena hates herself for it, for making Kara hurt any more than she already was.

               But she feels too damn angry and betrayed to take any of it back.

“I didn’t want to,” Kara whispers. She twists at her fingers, pulls at her sleeves. “I never meant… I just wanted…” She reaches up and wipes at a tear, sniffling softly. Her shoulders drop, heavy and hopeless. “I just wanted you safe.”

And fuck, she just seems so lost.

Lena leans back in her chair, allowing herself to really see Kara.

The last daughter of Krypton. The hero who stands unyielding against those who would do Earth harm.

The girl who lost everything – her family, her people, her culture, her planet – in one fell swoop when she was only a child.

The girl who, apparently, just lost her sister.

And judging by the way she holds herself now – chin slightly tucked, shoulders curled, as if in preparation for a blow – she thinks she stands to lose more.

“We have a lot to talk about,” Lena says softly. Kara flinches again and Lena has to swallow back tears at the way her heart constricts in response. “And we will. But not right now. We’re both too emotional and I’m not going to do that to you.”

Kara shakes her head miserably, opens her mouth to protest.

“Let’s figure this thing out with your sister,” Lena cuts in. “Let’s fix that first, and then… we’ll figure us out, okay?”

And if she’s being honest with herself, she’s not too optimistic for when that conversation inevitably comes. In fact, a tendril of dread curls around her heart at the nanosecond she lets herself consider it.

But looking at Kara now, at the way it’s as if even the barest of touches would send her crumbling to her knees, she can’t bring herself to make Kara explain. Not tonight.

“Okay,” Kara whispers.

Lena gives her a decisive nod. “Okay then.” She returns her attention to the screen in front of her, clicking away at all the photos and videos.

Slowly, Kara edges her way farther into the kitchen, around the island and slips onto the barstool next to Lena. Trembling hands reach out and pull a carton of lo mien toward her. Wordlessly, halfheartedly, she twirls the noodles around a fork.

“But why would you want to help me? After… that.”

Lena glances over, and Kara is staring down at her fork, eyes glassy and bloodshot and absolutely miserable. Her heart aches again despite her best efforts to beat it into submission.

She drags her eyes away from Kara’s. “I know how it feels.”

She hears echoes of laughter, feels the ghost of Lex’s hand ruffling her hair, remnants of goofing off in the lab and playing chess.

Flashes of the witness stand, the burst of betrayal in his eyes before it was swallowed by the fanatical gleam.

The gaping hole in her life where her brother should be throbs.

“I wouldn’t wish that kind of loss on anyone.” Least of all her best friend, who she loves so much.

Maybe too much.

After a quiet moment of Kara trying and failing to eat her lo mien, of Lena trying and failing to not miss the brother she lost, Kara starts to lean over. So incredibly slowly, giving Lena every opportunity to pull away.

But she doesn’t, and the weight of Kara’s head resting on her shoulder brings more warmth and comfort into her aching heart than she wants to admit. In spite of herself, in spite of the flicker of anger and betrayal growing smaller and smaller, she lets her cheek rest against Kara’s hair. And when Kara heaves a sigh like it’s coming from the depths of her battered soul, Lena leans until their shoulders are pressed together across the barstools.

She’ll be flaming mad later, she decides. She’ll yell and probably cry and she doesn’t know if their friendship will survive, but for now…

God, do they need each other to hold on to.

Idly, she moves the curser on the screen up to a different tab, clicks on it. A journal written on memory and psychology blips onto the screen.

“So you mentioned something about a memory wipe? Tell me about it. We’ll start there.”

///

Kahp sem zehdh: I want home.

@storyiicharacter, thanks for the Kryptonian translation. It’s still ripping my heart out. 

[soulbore]

@pulitzerpanther​​ ━━ SAVED THREAD - below the read more is all the past writing from google docs ━━━━ ⌈  Kara & Cat  ⌋

A grin was plastered on the alien’s face because she always would do so. While she had gifts for everyone, the one for Cat was special. She watched as she unwrapped it, waiting patiently while she pulled out the first part of the gift. “I thought it would be amusing for you,” it was a tease because too many times they both wanted to punch certain people. Kara had the benefit to do so without the limitations of the military rank while Cat, well… not so lucky.

But the smile was worth it. Then she heard the second gift. She watched her look puzzled for a moment, opening it up and finding the second gift. “There’s a secret to it,” Kara said, as she pulled up the candle from the center of the table and placed it behind it. The words and symbols within the pearl shined onto the wall, a hundred different alien languages in it, with the Kryptonian language being the biggest of them all. “It says ‘a pearl in the sea’,” Kara explained (as she was the linguist of the group) and pulled the candle away, setting it back on the table as she looked at the necklace, the meaning clear behind it.

She knew how sensitive their relationship was, how very few moments they would ever have. So she was delicate in what she got, something that didn’t look romantic but had clear romantic implications that only Cat would understand.

“I wanted something unique,” Kara explained as she took a moment to look at the candle and then turn to look at Cat with an endearing glint in her eyes. “I hope you like it,”

━━━━

"Kara." It's breathed for a second time, throat suddenly thick with something heavier than Naquadah, fingers gentle and hidden underneath that soft blanket of falling snow outside, this little home that isn't theirs as her hand comes up to curve gently around Kara's wrist, above the candlelight and a faintly shimmering necklace. There's too much to be said in a name, with the way Cat's voice lingers between them, and she wonders if that's why Kara found a way to say it a hundred different times, a hundred different ways, for the both of them. 

Her other hand pushes fingers up around the curve of Kara's jaw--gently wraps around the base of her neck where a Goa'uld might be, underneath soft skin and a good heart, nose slotting against her jaw to bring her down, to hold Kara close. To breathe her in, just for a moment.

"Well…" Cat breathes, voice still thick and chest tight, "When you get a girl something like that, you have to put it on." 

━━━━

Kara’s eyes closed for a minute, the feel of her hand on her neck comforting, as she took a breath, with Cat so close it was nearly intoxicating. They didn’t get moments like this,it was a once in a blue moon moment and Kara never wanted to push it. After all, it wasn’t her job that was at risk. She leaned over, pressing her lips gently against the tip of her cheek and then pause.

“Oh!” It completely spaced Kara’s thought about that (but she also had no clue if Cat would even like it). She reached over and took the necklace in her hand, shifting on the couch as she slipped it in front and pulled it around her neck, brushing her blond hair away from her neck and latched it together. “There,” Kara smiled as she brushed Cat’s hair back down, her fingers gently guiding through the threads and nails scrapping against her scalp.

Looking back up Cat, she smiled as she saw the small necklace looked nice against her neckline. “It looks lovely on you,”

━━━━

"Well, most things do." A breathless laugh, leaning up into Kara's hand--her fingers--gaze undeniably soft and she's immediately glad she stayed, even when she shouldn't have. Even as her arms push up to wrap around Kara's neck, hovering above her on the small, warm couch, smile spreading, "Even if the paper weight I got you puts it to shame." It's a light joke, tipping backwards to brush fingers along it, suddenly serious. "I love it." 

And, oh, she lingers in her hover, still wrapped a little around Kara, listening to the sound of Christmas music behind them. It's been a long time since she felt so...warm, this time of year, even on other planets. Other galaxies. Even watching other suns that warmed far better than their own, and she tips Kara's chin up so that she can see her smile.

And maybe whispering oh, what the hell before she leans down to kiss her wasn't very romantic. Knowing they'll both remember in the morning and there's no lingering, dramatic threat to excuse it or write it off on, nothing but this safe little mountain house, fingers tangling in Kara's hair as she gently brings her closer.

━━━━

A little chuckle left her lips as she moved her arms around Cat’s waist, amused at the idea of a paper weight. “Pft, a paper weight is awesome. Do you know how many books I have? Those are wonderful gifts,” Of course, only Kara would see it that way. But honestly, Kara didn’t care what Cat got her, all Kara cared about was the fact that Cat loved the gift, watching the way her fingers touched it with such care and it caused Kara’s heart to flutter.

Her face was deviated away, moving upward to look back at Cat by the guidance of her hand. She honestly couldn’t stop smiling, Cat’s happiness made her happy, and to know she was enjoying herself, even for a moment, was enough to make Kara’s whole world blossom. She wanted to say something, but Kara couldn’t find her words. It was almost as if, saying something would ruin this (like it could) but Kara just enjoyed the peaceful silence with the snow falling outside, the music from the kitchen, and the shimmer of the lights from the tree.

It was magical to Kara.

Before Kara could even grasp what happened, their lips mingled together and Kara leaned closer. Her hands moved upward, wrapping more around Cat to bring her closer as well, eyes closed as she leaned to the side a little, unable to even think of stopping. Her heart fluttered, a content moan that disappeared between their shared lips as she wanted to cherish the moment. 

Slowly, Kara’s lips broke away, breathless as she took a breath in and opened her eyes to look at Cat. Once again, no words. Instead, just gazing at Cat with this pure content, happy look. Her lips dipped upward into a smile, as she leaned forward, kissing her once more, as if she was unable to stop herself. She wanted to remember it. This, it was the best Christmas Eve gift she could ever get.

━━━━

"Oh," It's murmured--breathless--because suddenly her chest feels like she's stepped a little closer to that fire next to them. It feels like fingertips wrapped in silk are wicks lighting underneath the dangerous warmth spreading up from her stomach to her own smile. That pesky little sense of belonging, again. That feeling like maybe this is where she should have been, this entire time, duty be damned, and she has no doubt that it would be easier to blow up a few more goa'uld motherships on a whim than it will be to untangle herself from here, tonight.

But that sounds like a problem for later, not right now.

Because Kara kisses her, again, and Cat can't even bring it in herself to care about anything else, a nearly relieved laugh breaking against lips because she hadn't realized how tight her chest has been for years. How much it aches, even now, even as her eyelashes flutter closed, body certain she's floating in zero G up, up high above them both, in the clouds. Fingers tangle a little tighter before they smooth against Kara's scalp, holding her close, kissing her back--kissing her again--teeth tucking the corner of lips to temper her growing smile when Cat finally pulls away with another peck, nose brushing against Kara's as she slots their foreheads together. 

"Hmm, instead of potentially scarring Cassie for life in case she happens to come down here..." A gentle tip of her head in gesture back towards the radio, knowing how difficult it will be to pull away, and not wanting to give into the excuse of home. Not tonight. The sound of some cheesy soft Sinatra Christmas album crooning in the background, "Care to dance?" 

━━━━

Kara couldn’t help but chuckle a little bit, because that’s the last thing she wanted to do. She rested her head against Cat’s for a moment. “True, that or my sister walking right in on the moment,” That wouldn’t be any better, though somehow she was sure Alex already knew. She was the most perceptive of the two of them. Kara always found herself oblivious even with the most obvious of things. She leaned back a little, glancing toward where Cat hinted toward and then smiled.

“I love to! Though…” Kara paused as she pushed her lips together, as if slightly embarrassed. “I don’t know exactly how to dance.” She might be an alien, but she had no idea how to dance with the skill of any artist. She chuckled a little, reaching up to rub the back of her neck as the sweet soft Christmas music hung on the air like garley over the balcony. “So I might just be….a swaying leaf, I’m hopeless,” Kara paused in her voice, mentally telling herself to shut up already.

━━━━

"Well, there goes the theory that Ken'tha has been showing you the important stuff." It's a spreading smile of a tease, reaching down to tangle their fingers, tugging Kara up and off the couch and towards the rug, an open enough clearing for a dance floor if there ever was one. She's certainly been on worse. "Come on, up, I'll show you." She moves Kara's hand to her waist--her hip--up around her shoulder, before sweeping her foot over the floor to make sure it's clear. "Don't worry, I won't make you do a somba. Most people do just sway. Just follow me. Move your feet with mine." 

And maybe it would be worse for Alex to materialize through the front door to the sight of them dancing, instead of making out on a couch like teenagers, a much more telling affair than something that could easily be written off by a few too many glasses of eggnog, but the thought doesn't tense her spine. Not yet.

Because Major Danvers has seen the Colonel admit to far worse than a dance, or two, and hasn't said anything yet.

"If Alex hated the idea of walking in on us, I have a feeling I wouldn't have been invited." It's a knowing statement, amusement curling lips even as she gently guides Kara closer, moving both of them to the music. 

━━━━

Kara bit her lip, shaking her head at that thought. “Does watching so you think you can dance give me any bonus points?” She questioned, but willingly allowed herself to be tugged upward and moved in step, letting Cat guide her hands to where they should be. One hand on Cat’s hip, resting gently against her body and the other moved up to rest on her shoulder. “If you do the Samba, I’m going to be extremely impressed and wonder what other skills you have besides your artistic fashion forward side.” She teased, but it was no lie. Cat always dressed to impress when out of uniform.

Eyes lingered downward, watching Cat’s feet at first and mirroring her actions to keep in sync sway with her. Turning her eyes back upward, a smile crossed her lips with a nod. “True. She’s fond of you, even if she yells at you sometimes.” Alex, when in the medical room, always had the say and never let anyone else get away with it.

Kara should know.

A breath left her lips as she leaned forward a little, resting her cheek gently against the top of Cat’s head, no longer thinking about what she was doing but just following Cat’s lead instinctively. She didn’t want to forget a single moment.

━━━━

"I have no idea what that is, so...no." It's drawled, nose dipping upwards to skim along Kara's chin--to rest against the dip of her jaw as they sway, smile brushing along skin. "Hmm, I'm a woman of many talents. If you think the samba and what I can do with a gun is impressive, you should see what my tongue can do to a cherry stem." That particular tease is accompanied by a low laugh, eyes closing as she rests closer, the music a much fainter noise in the background than Kara's breath. Than the sound their feet make as they move, clothes brushing together as their bodies sway. 

"And if how a soldier felt about someone was directly--negatively--related to how much we yelled at them...we wouldn't be here, right now, Kara." Cat's certainly yelled at Kara her fair share. Normally the word 'move' bookended by bullets. Admitting to Kara, because she doubts it will leave the room, "So...I guess she's capable." It's as much of a compliment as Cat Grant is likely to give. 

Alex Danvers is a member of SG1, as far as Grant is concerned. Danvers has earned it as much as Kara. As much as Luthor and Teal'c.

"However power hungry she is." Cat's nails idly trace patterns on Kara's skin, "I don't know if I'm annoyed or glad that you can see through our stubborn, carefully crafted facades." Because Alex is hardly the only one Kara sees through, Cat knows. "We work hard on those through our promotions, you know." 

━━━━

Such a simple moment. And yet, Kara was enjoying every second of it. She smiled, amused and not at all surprised Kara had no idea what the show was. “Wait, what can your tongue doe to a cherry stem?” Kara immediately questioned, because she was curious. Cherry stems weren’t exactly flexible. They were like tiny little twig branches so now Kara wondered about that. If there was an innuendo within that response anywhere, it completely went over the Kryptonian’s head. And Ken’tha didn’t have any clue either, though she was quietly slumbered. She didn’t sleep, persay, but she went into a trance-like state, letting Kara have the privacy she deserved.

“Mhmm, I’m pretty sure you get the quota at least four times a week,” Kara wasn’t bothered. They dealt with some high stress situations, and to Kara, the yelling wasn’t always negatively contributed. There are plenty of times she had been told to stop or shut up. She couldn’t help but sometimes her mouth got in the way of her common sense.

Again, she was no military agent. Sometimes she needed a metaphorical gibb slap.

A little content murr slipped from Kara’s lips at the gentle traces against her skin, realizing how much she enjoyed that. “Both?” She questioned, because Kara knew Alex knew about the two of them, at least. She made it quite clear in the most indirect ways. “Well, it shows. I don’t know how you all can manage to do what you do. I could never be a military person. I couldn't do it in Krypton either, the military guild had their doors open for me, my mother was a justicar in the guild, but it just wasn’t something for me. I’m more impressed by how you all can handle it. Though, I am glad you a part of it. I wouldn’t have met you otherwise,”

━━━━

"I can tie a knot with it." It's a dry, smirking reply, that same amusement warming her chest. Laugh breathless and warm and content. "Call it a...party trick. I guess I'll just have to show you, sometime." The thought of at least getting Kara to blush every time they drop a cherry on the subpar keylime pie in the mess might make potentially getting dishonourably discharged worth it. 

Then again, that's if Kara gets it and Cat has lingering doubts on that little possibility, too. 

"Hmm, but...it's funny," Cat murmurs in a way that might not seem funny, at all, voice quiet and eyes hooded, smile fond and soft and knowing, "I used to think the same thing. About the military." And then Olivia happened. A necessity--a promise kept despite the dark shadows of a smoke-filled apartment--fingers skimming up biceps to shoulders to curl around her neck. To rest her forehead against Kara's shoulder in a momentary wonder of what could have been, "Not to sound like Luthor, but it's...really something, isn't it? Out of every possible universe, every choice we've ever made--anything we've ever seen, the universe...had to align in such a specific way to bring us here, at all. Hell, you've seen different versions of us…"

She tips back easily on bare feet to skim fingers up Kara's cheeks, because it seems like now that she's touched her, she can't stop. "There's endless possibilities of who we could have been. I guess I don't like thinking of it, too much." A hum, not wanting to linger on the thought--on the weakness that doubt has, piercing through, because out of all of the things that happened in her life, the one thing she would change time and time again--every time--it has nothing to do with Kara. And she would do it in a heartbeat. Has, every night, when her eyes close and the dark settles in, no matter what sky is above her.

She understands, really, how a single moment could cause someone to get lost in an eternity of trying to fix it. She always has. 

"But if I did. If I spent more time than I cared to admit imagining who we could be through that mirror...maybe it's not such a stretch of the imagination to wonder if there's a version of us that didn't need the guise of Alex inviting me, tonight. Maybe we would have met." Maybe she would have invited her to dinner. Maybe she would have hated her, or fallen in love with her, but all they truly have is the world they're in, now. And at the moment, it's not so bad. And at the moment, Cat does love her...and doesn't see a future where she can say it. "You've made it on my team." She notes, a hint of pride behind those content eyes and soft smile, "You could have made it in the military. But, hmm... I'm glad you didn't." 

━━━━

"Wow," That was a definite party trick. Like...how could she even do that. The funny thing that high tech equipment doesn't surprise Kara, but tying a knot in a cherry stem is like a magic trick to her. 

"Hmm," Kara hummed, thought in what Cat said. Kara's lips kissed the top of Cat's head softly, the smell of her shampoo sweet to the scent. "Infinity variations and yet we still manage to end up here," Kara shifted just a little, eyes closed for a moment to the touch of her fingers against her cheek. "Well, I will be happy enough to have these moments with you," Kara would love to have more, but even still, she's grateful just to have a moment.

A smile crossed her lips as Kara turned, eyes opened as she looked down toward her. "This moment, though, its not that bad," And Kara would wait however long she needed for Cat til she was out. "For now, I'm content with this. Just... this." And maybe it was cheesy, it felt like a christmas movie all in itself, but she didn't care. She was happy, and if Cat was happy, that's all that mattered.

━━━━

For now is an argument that’s on the edge of her tongue--pressed up against her heart in its painfully momentary bout of bliss, but it’s so easy to let something go (for likely the first time in her life) while softly swaying against Kara, a quiet, rumbling laugh settling between them like the necklace already had on her chest. But a hint of it still peeks through, voice calm despite the hint of a rasp beneath the calm of her voice, “Are you?” A nose skims up Kara’s neck to dip away from knowing, kind eyes--settles beneath a surprisingly strong jaw as she sucks in a quivering breath that spreads out her shoulders and straightens a battle-worn spine, despite the way she’s curved up into her. Like maybe part of Cat’s body knows she should leave but doesn’t. “Content.” 

Still, the smile is easier than it ever should be, spreading against warm skin, eyes closing, “It’s not bad, is it.” A humming agreement, letting her shoulders loosen, fingers dipping back down to curve around Kara’s neck, not paying much attention to the shifting radio behind them. “And, hmm, see, dancing isn’t so bad, after all. You just needed a little confidence. You worry too much, Baby Danvers.” 

And maybe so does Cat.

━━━━

The question wasn’t answered immediately, because the word ‘yes’ just seemed…. Inadequate. How could she explain to Cat that she was more than just content. She was happy. And even that simplistic sentence… she wanted to express it more thoroughly. Yet there wasn’t any way she could. She looked down toward Cat, slowly down the dancing til they stood still. Her hands moved up first, brushing along her hair, her thumbs caressing against her skin. Her blue eyes gazing into Cat’s, almost as if she was gazing past the outside appearance into her.

“I’m more than content. More than any word there is for happy. I might stumble over words or have confidence problems at times. But this, right here, with you,” Kara’s hand gently cupped the side of her face, unable to look away. “This is more than I could ever ask for and more than I could ever hope for,”

Her smile tipped over her lips, her nonverbal features speaking more than her words ever could. Because every bit of worry, every bit of trouble, every bump in the road got them to where they are now. And this is something Kara would never apologize for.

━━━━

"Well that's just depressing, Kara," It might be a jest or a tease or any crumbling rock in-between if her voice didn't barely quiver beneath the edge of blunt teeth, the sharp tick of breath sucking between the trenches in her lungs pulling a pin on a grenade she's not quite ready to throw. If her eyes weren't so wet they might be portals to a peaceful world hidden by the graceful wave of the Nox's hand, shimmering and full of an element she never had a name for until Kara spent restless hours digging knowledge out of chiseled stone of shoulders. 

When Cat closes her eyes and leans into the softest anchor of an outstretched palm, a hint of moisture might leak into the crevices of a lifeline dipping below Kara's thumb, "Or just... stereotypically romantic of you." A wry smile swims upwards like a trout upstream and when eyelashes once again flutter open, there's no hiding the look Cat gives her. Endless. Open. "I should've known you'd say something cheesy and, oh…" A shrug of a gesture accompanies the soft look, hand dipping down to curl fingers around Kara's wrist, lips barely skimming along the high rise of a palm lined with papercuts only a Goa'uld could have hope of healing.. "... Annoyingly perfect. You're making it hard for me to leave tomorrow, already, Kara." It's a breath, honest, because she owes her that--she's never been anything but honest with Kara.

 "And I will. Leave, tomorrow. We both have to. If I didn't… What would either of us even do?" That wry sad smile grows, "Go find somewhere to live in Western suburban Bliss? Buy a house with a white picket fence and a dog. Ignore the Stargates. You'll go work as some Indiana Jones professor and I'll try my hand at writing, again?" Cat tries to imagine a future, laughing gently against Kara's skin, because the thought is warm. "On second thought, I'd love to see you in the Indiana Jones hat." On third thought…her chest is tight and her gaze is soft and there it is, again. Love. "Hmm, maybe you just need to give me a life lesson lecture on how to let myself be content. I've heard I'm not very good at it. What's the first step?" 

━━━━

Kara was worried for a moment, seeing the glassy look of her eyes and the way she looked as if she might cry. Did she say something wrong? Course Kara worried, it was almost instinct of the woman to worry about 95% of the time. But she smiled when she heard the words, a little chuckle on her voice. "Maybe I shouldn't watch so many romcoms," Kara admitted, but everything she said and would say was the truth. She took a deep breath, the soft feel of her fingers against her hip, as she smiled. "I can't help it, I like spending time with you, even just a little," she teased.

But the comment made Kara nod, the smile slipping from her lips because she understood. "I know," Even at the gentle jest, Kara couldn't help but wonder if she pushed it a little to far. "I might go back to Egypt, so the whole Indiana Jones hat isn't too far off from the truth. Its hanging in my living room," A sad smile crossed her lips, because she didn't want to talk about her future. What kind of future was there if she left everyone she knew?

The concept stunned Kara for a moment. She wasn't expecting such a question. "I'm... not really sure. I mean, just living in this moment, I would think could lead to contentment. Or just, doing or being somewhere that you enjoy. Maybe it's cliche, but the whole 'do what you love and love what you do' comes to mind. Though, maybe that doesn't make sense," Kara brushed the back of her neck briefly, not sure how to explain such a subject. "How about I go get your bed ready? How many pillows do you like? I got about four on my bed, but I can take some off." She commented, as she had plans to make her own bed on the floor.

━━━━

“Hmm…”

Do what you love and love what you do.

“Maybe.”

Maybe that’s why the bitter, slithering beast coiled tightly in the bottom of Grant’s stomach might not be labeled as contentment. Some people have snakes wrapped around their spines, but her personal form of enlightenment—the creature that’s settled as weight on her shoulders and burden on her breath—is one she’s made, herself.

Would Cat wind up in Egypt, sun beating down on a tank top, outside of Kara’s door like the rom-coms she apparently watches too many of?

Her gaze shifts from Kara for a long moment, quiet and pensive, before she looks back up and pulls away enough to re-learn how to let her go, fingers curling in the air for only a moment at the warmth they’ve lost before curling into her own hips, humming.

“I can’t remember the last time I slept with a pillow.” It’s a wry admittance, because some weeks it’s easier for her to sleep on the floor than in a bed and there’s an undeniable comfort in being somewhere unfamiliar, these days, as opposed to the opposite. Still, Cat can’t help but tease her, because sometimes Kara makes it so easy— “But how forward, Mini-Indy. You get a kiss or two and are already inviting me to your bed.” Her smile spreads into a smirk, arms wrapping up around biceps from hips to ward off the sudden chill from not being quite so close, anymore.

━━━━

"Well, I have plenty," Kara smiled because she would make sure Cat slept well tonight, even if she did have her own bed at her own place. But then the next sentence  cause Kara to nearly stumbled on her feet. "Wait, what?!" Kara mouth opened as she stared at her. "No, no, I didn't mean. What I meant was... Its just... I don't...." Kara had to take a breath before she fell over on her own face. "I was going to give you my bed,"

Kara had to take a breath, because Cat had gotten the best of her easily. Kara took a breath as she reached over, touching Cat's arm as she smiled, leaning over to press her lips against the top of her forehead. "Do you want to have my bed? It's up to you, really. I just don't want to make you sleep on the floor or anything," And even if they did share a bed, Kara was used to it. She often shared one with Alex, as it often made it easier to sleep.

━━━━

"Oh, sure you were. Likely out. I'm not buying." But Kara's lips are warm against her skin, soft. Gentle. And the smile just spreads, "Chivalry, cute. It depends." They might have been avoiding the elephant in the room, but Grant is still nothing short of blunt, leaning back to quirk an eyebrow, chest a little tight but… Maybe Kara was right. 

Maybe this was the first step to content.

"Are you actually assuming your sister won't be back, tonight, so that's why we can't play musical beds? You take hers, I take yours, and no one gets the couch. Or," She calmly moves over to the fire place, swiftly extinguishing embers and crackling wood before turning back around, poker resting by her hip. An eyebrow arches, "Are you looking for the excuse for us to share one?" The poker slides back into its home, a knowing choice. She might have gotten so far into the military by being a strategist, but she was still alive thanks to being a lover of odds. It's not quite gambling if she's betting against the house, knowing what her hand will be in the morning. "It'll be warmer," it's tossed over her shoulder, already heading upstairs, "If we share one."

Adding, voice airy and trilling as she ascends, just loud enough to be heard without disturbing Cassie. " Especially since I sleep nude!"

She doesn't, not anymore. They've shared tents and chores and odd planet housing and tree leaves for years, but one last easy tease wouldn't kill anyone. Probably. 

━━━━

Kara couldn't help but smile, amused by Cat. How was it that she could tease her so much and Kara still fell for it. "She'll be back, but she told me it wouldn't be until late into the morning. So she'll still need her room," Kara rubbed the back of her neck. "Our couch isn't that comfortable, but if you really want to sleep there, that's fine," Kara pushed her lips together and smiled, looking down and then back up.

"If you want to share one, that's fine as well," Though the blush crossed her cheeks lightly. "I just don't want to just...put you on the floor. You're a guest here, I just want you to be comfortable," And Kara genuinely meant that. The comment just made her eyes sparkle, excited by the thought. Not to do anything, but just to be able to be by her during the night, and the comfort of having someone close. "It would be, and I'm a bit of a heating blanket if it doesn't bother you.

Through her eyes widen at the comment. "Um...I...." How did she even respond to that? Being out in the field, the whole nudity wasn't really a problem, but somehow it was different being here in the house. Perhaps customs? In the field, they had to do what they had to do. They only had tents and maybe a river or a lake, scarce ways meant you couldn't be modest. Yet, in the house, here in the "modern" world, it almost seems like a boundary to cross. Her face was blushing as she turned away, thinking about  going to get the bed ready.

She did have a very...very big bed.

━━━━

“Kara,” Cat’s voice softens from its trill, eyes taking in the second floor with an appraising nod—the closed door that likely showcases a teenager’s room (something she tends to avoid, if possible)—and one down the hall. A third room, curiously tipping around on creaking wood to look inside, thumb jutting towards the first open doors, “I’m pulling that very accessible little chain of yours.” That very cute, very little chain, and given the rest of the night, there’s no need to hide the fondness in her gaze, or the way it presses against parted lips, just waiting.

Always waiting.

It’s likely been longer than a few years since she’s slept naked in a bed, and she likes to avoid that annoying fact, too.

“Although I don’t have clothes, I didn’t actually,” She admits, lips twisting upwards, “Expect to stay.” Even with Danvers here as a buffer, it hadn’t seemed like a good idea. Now it seems like a horrible idea, but Cat has no intention of going back outside.  “But I am. Imagine that. Is this yours?”  

━━

Kara took a breath, finding herself smiling as she glanced down and back up. “I should know when you are doing that by now,” And yet she didn’t. Alex had a habit of doing the same thing too. Her lips pushed into her mouth, a little chuckle on her lips as she thought back to it and wondering if she would ever catch it.

“I can find you something. I’m not sure if any of mine would fit,” Kara was a lot taller, but she paused. “Actually, I might have something, let me go get it,” Kara said, and then moved over as she gently pecked her lips. “I’m glad you're staying, though.” She moved into her room and nodded her head. “It is. Its kind of set up to remind me of Krypton,” Kara said with a smile. There was a large window and walkout patio that had a massive curtain covering all the windows and walkway doors. She moved to the closet, opening it up and looking around in the boxes and then pulled out a set of pajamas.

“Here, these might fit!” Kara said with a smile. She had gotten those a few years ago, but her friend who sent it to her got her sizes horribly wrong. Kara kept it anyway, just because the gift was kind and she couldn’t get rid of them. She moved over herself to one of her dressers, pulling out a set of pajamas that were light blue plaid colors. “The bathroom is just right down this hallway as well, so you know where it is.”

[captain-josslett]

Broken Melody - Part Twenty One

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten, Part Eleven, Part Twelve, Part Thirteen, Part Fourteen, Part Fifteen, Part Sixteen, Part Seventeen, Part Eighteen, Part Nineteen, Part Twenty...

Summary: Grammy Award winning Emma Danvers is the first to say she has a pretty good life. But what happens when it implodes around her and it looks like things will never be the same again?

Words: 6k+

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, stuff... I’m so tried my brain can’t function.

Pairings: Emma Danvers x Lena Luthor

This Part: Lena has a question she wants to ask Emma.

Here you go, I hope you enjoy! My eyes are closing as I’m trying to write this. Such fun! Please forgive the exhaustion that is showing in this part.

Thank you for reading and let me know if you wanna be tagged or any general feedback will be greatly appreciated. Please! I like knowing your thoughts.

Taglist: @finleyfray​​​, @life-is-hella-unfair​​, @natasha-danvers​​, @supergirl-writingz​​, @camslightstories​​, @thinking1bee​​, @aznblossom​​,

Lena tries to concentrate as she goes through the mountain of paperwork that has built up over the past week and a bit since the attack. Frustration flows through her when the pile never seems to decrease in size.

When the CEO finds herself reading the same line over and over Lena sighs heavily and leans back in her office chair. She lifts the tip of her thumb to her mouth and bites. Her anxiety swirling and simmering under the surface. Taking another deep breath Lena looks down at her phone. She quickly grabs it, turning her chair towards the window and opens a playlist full of Emma’s voice and video messages as well as the songs she sent. Even if it was to ask her opinion on which lyrics sound better or a simple “Good Morning love.”

The raven haired beauty scrolls through the hundreds of files before coming across one of her favourites. It was also in video form which Lena doesn’t know if it's a good thing or not. To actually see Emma talk and sing instead of just hearing her girlfriend.

“Hi Lee!” Emma’s beaming face fills the screen. Her wavy blonde hair is down and she’s wearing Lena’s National City University sweatshirt she had sneakily packed into her bag and taken on the tour.

Immediately tears start to creep into Lena’s eyes when she hears Emma’s voice. Realising how much she misses her love’s laugh, the changes of tone as the blonde would talk about the different things that have happened to her during the day. The tender way Emma would softly whisper her name as she was falling asleep.

“I hope your day is going great! Well, I’m back in the studio-” Emma motions around her to the dimly lit recording studio and the microphone equipment next to her. “-and I was thinking about you, I mean, when am I not thinking about you?!” Emma chuckles and Lena can’t help but lift the corner of her mouth up in a small smile as a lone tear rolls down her cheek. “Anyway, this song came to my mind and I immediately needed to record it for you.”

Emma lifts her guitar up onto her lap and starts strumming. Her hazel green eyes connect with the camera, as if she’s looking straight at Lena.

You with the sad eyes Don't be discouraged, oh I realise It's hard to take courage In a world full of people You can lose sight of it all The darkness inside you Can make you feel so small

Like the previous times before Lena is completely floored when she watches Emma sing. The way in which the words touch Lena and making her heart melt and ache all at once. How even though her girlfriend is singing to a camera she somehow connects with Lena.

But I see your true colours Shining through I see your true colours And that's why I love you So don't be afraid to let them show Your true colours True colours True colours are beautiful Like a rainbow

“Wow.”

Lena jumps and quickly locks her phone, halting the video and Emma’s voice. The CEO spins around to see an apologetic Sam standing behind her desk.

“Sorry!” Sam holds her hands up and Lena wipes her face. Trying to hide the emotions that had surfaced.

“It’s okay.” Lena tries to tidy her desk a bit before focusing back on her friend. “Everything okay?”

“Yea, it’s gone six.”

Lena’s eyes widen as she glances down at the clock on her desk.

‘Shit.’ The raven haired beauty thinks in dismay and presses her lips together until they disappear.

“You alright?” Sam asks with a frown.

“I didn’t get enough done today.” Lena uncharacteristically slumps forward and holds her head in her hands.

“Hey-” Sam quickly comes around and sits on the desk, placing a comforting hand on her friend’s shoulder. “You are ahead of what you need to do, but if things get too much we can always hire more assistants. You aren’t in this alone.”

Lena swallows heavily and nods. Sam may say she’s ahead but the raven haired beauties expectations are set too high from years of trying to please her family.

“So, how about we pick up some food and go see that gorgeous girlfriend of yours?”

Sam’s comment makes Lena gradually sit up and glare at the brunette.

“Hands off Arias.” Lena growls and Sam throws her head back laughing.

“Wrong Danvers my dear.” Sam gently pats Lena’s cheek before getting up and grabbing her stuff.

Lena smiles and shakes her head. Quickly wiping the tears from her face before shutting everything down on her desk. She takes one more look at the piles of work.

Before Kara Danvers had come into her life she would have stayed until the early hours of the morning to complete her tasks. Sometimes not even leaving the office at all. But with Kara everything changed. Her obsessive, workaholic routines had been disrupted with lunches, coffee meet ups, movie and games nights. Lena found herself developing more and more friendships and she liked it.

Then when Emma Danvers swung into Lena’s life… Well there was no hope of Lena ever working late into the night again.

Because no matter where Emma was she would ask when the best time was for her to call Lena and for some strange reason Lena had given her a time that cut her working hours a lot shorter. This also meant that Lena wasn’t elbow deep in work that would distract her from spending time with her crush. Over time this became her new normal and even when Emma couldn’t chat due to the time difference (and Lena refused to allow Emma to sacrifice her sleep for her) Lena would find herself finishing work at a reasonable hour.

Finally Lena turns away from the work and stands, rolling her chair under the desk and smoothing out her grey dress.

The pair walk out of LCorp in comfortable silence towards Sam’s car, nodding at employees as they went.

As Lena settles into the passenger seat she notices her brunette friend overly tapping the steering wheel.

“Sam? Is there something wrong?”

“Erm, could we- I mean, if it’s okay. Could we listen to Emma sing?”

Lena hesitates for a moment. Wanting to keep the songs her girlfriend has sent her private and only for herself.

But the raven haired beauty reaches into her bag and pulls out her phone. Connecting it to Sam’s car and choosing a song for the pair to listen to.

The car is filled with the gentle sound of a piano and soon Emma starts singing.

It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside I'm not one of those who can easily hide I don't have much money, but boy if I did I'd buy a big house where we both could live

The corner of Lena’s lips pull up slightly as she listens to her girlfriend. Images flash through her mind of a house the pair would buy and make a home. Where everything that has happened over the past few weeks would be a distance memory. They would both be happy, healthy and even more in love.

So excuse me forgetting, but these things I do See I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue Anyway the thing is what I really mean Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen

Lena can’t help but feel a slight blush build up in her cheeks. Remembering the way Emma would stare into her eyes as they lay on the bed, saying she was taking in every detail of colour and noticing the flecks of blue in them.

Lena also notices how Sam glances over at her every so often and chooses to ignore her friend. Instead turning her head to gaze out of the window and keeps listening to her girlfriend’s declaration of love.

And you can tell everybody this is your song It may be quite simple, but now that it's done I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind that I put down in words How wonderful life is now you're in the world

The raven haired beauty rests her head against the side of the car door. She takes a big intake of breath and lets it out gradually.

“Lena?” She hears Sam ask softly.

“Yea?”

“You okay?”

Lena pauses as she chooses her answer. Knowing if she lies Sam will pick up on it.

“No, but I will be.” Lena slowly lifts her head up and gives Sam a small smile. The song ends and Lena chooses another more upbeat one that has Sam tapping along on the steering wheel.

An idea starts forming and Lena bites the inside of her lip. “So, did Lucy mention where Emma will be staying after she leaves the DEO?”

“No. I know she’s going to talk to Emma about it soon. Why?”

“Do- do you think Emma would move in with me?” Lena asks quietly, purposefully not looking at Sam as she says it.

“Most definitely!” Sam makes Lena jump with her loud, enthusiastic response. “I mean, she’s totally in love with you and it’s not like your relationship is brand new.” Sam beams at her friend. “Also you guys totally failed in the lesbian stereotype! You should have moved in together on the second date right?”

Lena chuckles and shakes her head. Secretly she would have loved to have moved in with Emma straight away, they were practically living at each other’s apartments anyway, even before their relationship developed further.

“Okay, I’m going to ask her. Today.” Lena says mostly to herself and nods slowly.

“Yes!” Sam can’t help but smile brightly at her friend and a surge of happiness fills the brunette. Finally some good news among the chaos of the past few weeks.

The raven haired beauty turns to smile nervously at Sam. “She has to say yes first.”

Sam scoffs. “Are you kidding me right now? Really?” Sam can’t help but raise her eyebrows. “Lee if you asked Emma to marry you, right now, I have no doubt in my mind she would.”

At that Lena’s smile lights up her whole face as she imagines Emma in a bridal gown. Walking towards her with a radiant smile on her face.

‘Lena Danvers.’ The raven haired beauty tests the name in her mind and settles back into her seat. Going over what the venue would look like, whether Emma would want a big wedding or something more intimate.

But soon the brunette starts feeling frustrated as the car crawls along the road. “Urgh this traffic!”

“Must be some roadworks happening.”

“Yea, or there's a gathering outside Em’s apartment again.”

“Oh?”

“Yea, more and more fans have been showing up to pay their respects and show their support.” Sam says casually as she places her elbow on the car window and rests her head against her hand. “She’s gained an even bigger following than before. Lucy’s been working non stop to try and contain the true story. Apparently she’s gonna ask Emma to stage some photos and create a timeline.” Sam quickly glances over at her friend as she provides the information Lucy had discussed with her. A deep frown is etched on Lena's face and her mouth opens to speak, but Sam stops her before she can ask any questions. “Best to talk to Lucy about it.”

Lena nods and turns back to stare out of the window. Her mind races with what Lucy could have planned. Guessing that Emma would need to be kept out of the public eye for a while due to the injuries she had received.

‘Well she shouldn’t be breathing at all.’ Lena’s mind whispers and she immediately feels sick. But the feeling soon fades as she focuses on Emma’s voice.

The car slowly makes progress down the street when it comes to a halt outside a florist.

“Do you think this traffic will clear in the next few minutes?” Lena asks quickly.

“No, doesn’t look like it.” Sam whines frustratedly, slamming her head back on the head rest.

“I’m getting some flowers.” Suddenly Lena grabs her phone, unbuckles and jumps out of the car before Sam can react or say anything.

Lena ignores the looks people give her as she strides confidently across the road towards the small florist. She marvels at the colours of the flowers and heads inside.

“Welcome! Welcome!” A kind elderly couple greet her behind the counter.

“How may I help you today dear?” The gentleman asks her. Lena immediately notices recognition in his eyes but he doesn’t say anything more. Which she is grateful for.

“I would like to purchase a bouquet for my girlfriend please.”

“Ah! Any special occasion?” The elderly woman asks kindly as she starts gathering some flowers to show the CEO.

“Er- no, not particularly. She’s in hospital at the moment and I wanted to cheer her up, show her my love?” Lena cringes slightly at how she doesn’t know what to say. Not wanting to give away Emma’s state.

“Ah of course. Well our prices range differently, depending on what you choose. But, as it’s you and these are for our favourite customer, we are going to give them to you for free.” The elderly gentleman smiles kindly at her.

Lena blinks a few times and her eyebrows rise.

“Thank you sir, but I insist on paying.”

“Nonsense! Emma has been a valuable customer over the years and we were both utterly devastated by the horrific attack that befalled her.”

“Truly tragic.” His wife nods along before staring Lena in the eyes. “But is she getting better?”

“Slowly but surely.” Lena tries to reassure them.

“Good, that’s good.” The elderly gentleman nods. “Now my dear, as I am sure you are aware flowers have different meanings. What would you like the bouquet to represent.”

Lena thinks for a moment. “My love for her.” She simply says.

The couple smile at her. “Right!” The lady claps her hands and starts gathering flowers together, quickly explaining what each one means and for Lena’s approval.

Lena reaches into her bag for her card, still wanting to pay for the beautiful bouquet.

“No.” The gentleman holds out a hand and smiles at Lena’s confused expression. “Please, it is the least we can do for her.”

Lena nods but sneakily reaches into her purse and places a few hundred bills in a tip jar on the counter.

“I know she isn’t with it properly but when she can if you could give Emma our love we’d really appreciate it.” The lady says kindly as she hands Lena the beautiful bouquet of flowers. “Who knows maybe the colours will help revive her.”

“I hope so and I definitely will.” Lena cradles the flowers carefully, gazing at the roses, tulips, baby breath and daisies. Hoping she can remember all the different meanings to tell her girlfriend. “Thank you again.” Lena smiles at the couple and leaves the shop. Waving at them as she opens the door and steps out into the street.

The raven haired beauty glances around for Sam’s car and sees it near the end of the street. Lena quickly makes her way down the pavement and through the traffic to get back to the car. Sam unlocks the doors and Lena gracefully slides in.

“Wow, they look lovely.” Sam stares at the bouquet.

“They do don’t they?” Lena smiles and smells the flowers.

“Can you play more of Emma’s songs please?”

“Sure.” Lena quickly links her phone back to Sam’s car and chooses a new song for them to listen to.

The pair stay in comfortable silence as they listen to Emma’s music and crawl through the busy streets of the city.

-- -- --

Finally they make it to the DEO after picking up some food for everyone. Thank goodness Lena thought to order while they were stuck in traffic. Especially as they got food for Kara too. The waiter had given Lena a questioning look when they handed the box over to her. Lena responded by tilting her head slightly and giving one of her cold CEO stares. Only when she placed the box in the boot of Sam’s car did she realise she could have just smiled at them. Sometimes old habits are hard to break.

“Here let me take the food and you hold the flowers.” Sam quickly takes a hold of the box and Lena closes the trunk. The pair quickly make their way inside.

“Good evening.” Agent Vasquez nods at them in greeting.

“Evening Agent.” Sam smiles at her. “Oh could you do me a favour?”

“Depending what it is ma’am.” Agent Vasquez places her hands behind her back, standing at ease.

Sam places the box on the floor and takes out a few bags of food. Leaving most still left in the box. “Could you please give this food to our friends in the main cell downstairs?”

Agent Vasquez tilts her head forward and squats down to pick the box up. “Of course ma’am.”

“Thank you.” Lena responds with a small smile and heads towards the elevator. The pair first go to the labs and Sam hands over Eliza, J’onn, Winn, Brainy and Nia’s order.

Soon the pair make it to Emma’s floor and the anticipation builds within Lena at the thought of seeing her girlfriend. She knocks on the door and softly opens it, knowing Emma can’t call out to give them permission to enter.

“Hi!” Lucy greets the pair as they enter and Sam responds but the raven haired beauty focuses on her girlfriend. A smile spreads across her face seeing how engrossed Emma is in her painting. Noticing the cute way she sticks the tip of her tongue out.

Lena places the flowers on the coffee table and slowly approaches the blonde beauty. The noise of her heels filling the room. But still Emma doesn’t look up. Lena gazes down at what Emma is painting. She takes a quick intake of breath at what she sees. Amazed by the detail within it.

It seems to be from Emma’s point of view, showing Alex and Kara sitting on Emma’s bed. The pair are laughing and smiling brightly up at her with their hands joined together with Emma’s. Tears are within both of their eyes and Lena can tell the sisters were sharing a special moment together.

Lena resists the urge to kiss Emma’s head and instead heads back to the sofa.

“She’s been doing that for hours.” Lucy follows Lena over to the sofas and sniffs the air, smelling the food within the bags. Her stomach loudly rumbles making the trio laugh.

They look over at the blonde whose tongue is still poking out as she paints.

“Nothing can break her focus.” Lucy laughs and sits next to Sam.

“Oh no, I’m sure there's something or, someone, that could.” Sam raises an eyebrow at Lena and a slight blush colours her cheeks, remembering how Sam had found the lovers in the morning.

“How has she been?” Lena asks as she pulls out her meal and starts eating.

“Alright, I guess.” Lucy glances sadly over at her friend.

A hint of a frown appears on Lena’s forehead. “Sam mentioned you have a plan to move forward?”

Lucy nods and dives into detail of the plans she had told Emma earlier in the day. About creating video and images to release to the media at specific times in the upcoming months. How Emma will have to stay out of the public eye.

“I was also thinking…” Lena pauses and quickly glances over at Emma, who was still completely submerged in her task. Lena turns back to Lucy who studies her closely. The CEO leans in and Lucy copies her. “About asking Emma to move in with me.” The raven haired beauty says quietly. Not wanting her girlfriend to overhear.

A wide smile breaks across Lucy’s face and she nods. “I think that will work perfectly. I noticed how worried Emma got when I mentioned she could leave here soon.”

Lena lets out a breath, relieved that Lucy agrees.

The brunette keeps smiling at the news, hoping this will help Emma’s recovery. “Oh and Winn mentioned about developing a face modifier which Emma will have to wear when she’s out in public. He’s going to discuss it with you and see what can be done.”

Immediately Lena’s eyes light up with interest and Sam smiles at her expression of wonder. Almost expecting Lena to jump up and stride from the room to find Winn in the lab.

But the trio continue chatting and eating until they hear Emma place her brush into the cup of water. Lena looks over at the blonde and beams when their eyes connect.

Lena places her empty food container on the coffee table and picks up the bouquet of flowers. She hides them behind her back when she stands and approaches her girlfriend, her nerves prickle near the surface.

‘What if Emma says no? What if she doesn’t love me?’  

Pushing her thoughts away Lena sits on the bed next to Emma and presents the flowers to the blonde. She smiles at how wide Emma’s eyes go, how she instantly reaches out to feel the softness of the rose and studies the detail of the flowers.

Instead of asking Emma then and there Lena chickens out and starts reciting the different meanings of the flowers. Only getting distracted for a moment as Emma keeps lovingly kissing her cheek, but Lena stops the blonde, determined to tell her girlfriend the meaning of every flower. Totally not because she was scared to ask her question… Nope.

‘Luthors don’t get scared.’ Lena will always try and reassure herself in times like this.

But finally the pair kiss, only to be interrupted by Lucy pretending to heave.

Lena laughs when Emma flips the other brunette off and focuses back on the blonde. Her green eyes study her love’s face.

“So, how’s your head?” Lena asks as she runs her fingers gently through Emma’s hair and watches the blonde lift her hands to sign.

“I’ve had no complaints.”

Immediately Lena lifts her head back and laughs loudly causing the others in the room to question her. The raven haired beauty repeats the joke and the other pair laugh along.

Lena feels Emma snuggle into her side and the raven haired beauty wraps an arm around her.

“We’ve brought you some food love.” Lena says gently and kisses the top of Emma’s head. “Are you hungry?”

She feels Emma nod and goes to get up to get the container but Emma becomes a koala bear and holds on to her with a vice-like grip.

“Ow, Em, not so tight!” Lena laughs out but Emma instantly lets go, trying to move away from the CEO. But she can’t due to Lena’s own hold on her. “Hey, it’s okay. I know you just love me so much.” The raven haired beauty smiles reassuringly and gently boops Emma’s nose. Making the blonde adorably scrunch her face up.

“Here you go Em.” Sam places Emma’s food on the tray table. Emma gives her a look of gratitude. “Shall I move the picture so you don’t get anything on it?”

Emma nods as she opens the lid and shoves a huge cunk into her mouth. Hesitantly wrapping an arm around her girlfriend, making sure she doesn’t squeeze her too hard this time.

Sam clears the table of the painting supplies and her eyes widen as she stares at the painting while placing it on top of a chest of drawers.

“Wow Em. This is so good.”

“Let me see!” Lucy rushes over and gapes at it. “Awww I love it!”

Emma buries her head into Lena’s shoulder, feeling embarrassed from the praise. The raven haired beauty grins and kisses Emma’s head.

A knock makes the women look over at the door and Emma peeking slightly over Lena’s shoulder to see who it is.

The door opens and J’onn enters with Eliza following behind him. “Lucy, we are ready to go down to the cells.”

Emma sits up at J’onn’s words and stares at Lucy, desperately wanting to go with her. She turns to her girlfriend and signs.

“What’s going on?”

Lena repeats the question and Lucy approaches Emma’s bed, knowing she needs to be completely honest with the blonde.

“We aren’t making any progress with who took your sisters. Whoever they are they covered their tracks well.” Lucy rubs her shoulder as she looks apologetically at the pair on the bed. “We have the go ahead from your sister's therapists that we can ask them more questions. Especially as the R.K levels are almost depleted.”

Emma sits up even straighter at this new piece of information, looking more alert then before and grabbing Lena’s hand, who squeezes it three times.

“Can I come with you?” Sam asks confidently, ready for the looks of confusion the superfriends give her. “Well, with my time as Reign, I understand what it’s like having blackouts and waking up realising something, that is out of your control, has happened.”

J’onn and Lucy share a look and the brunette nods. “Very well.” J’onn agrees and gets ready to head down to the cells.

Emma fidgets and Lucy’s eyes are drawn to her. She wants to cry at the hope etched onto Emma’s face.

“I will ask them if they are ready to see you. But please prepare yourself that they still may not be ready.” Lucy begs as if reading Emma's mind. The blonde slowly nods and her shoulder sag.

“It will be okay sweetheart.” Eliza tries to reassure her baby girl. “They are making progress, these things just take time.”

Emma nods and motions to the painting. “Can someone give this to them? Would that be okay?” Lena speaks out what Emma signs and Sam carefully picks up the painting.

The blonde smiles at her, placing her hand to her lips, moving it forward and down, thanking Sam. Almost like she’s blowing Sam a kiss.

“You’re welcome Emma.” Sam returns the smile and heads towards the door.

Emma shifts so she can look at her girlfriend. “Will you go see them?”

Lena blinks in surprise at Emma’s request. “Are you sure?”

Emma nods. “Kara needs her best friend. Plus mom can keep me company.”

Lena stares into fading bloodshot eyes for a moment. “Alright. Can I have a kiss?” The raven haired beauty smiles shyly at her girlfriend and Emma tilts her head forward, connecting their lips.

“You guys are just too much.” Lucy mutters and Sam pushes her shoulder while shaking her head at the other brunette.

The pair were adorably, but also sickeningly cute.

Lena regretfully moves away from Emma and gracefully slides off the bed. But she can’t move away as the blonde as she won’t let go of her hand.

Lena turns to her girlfriend and smiles sweetly at her, also raising an eyebrow. “Em-ma.”

Slowly Emma lets go of Lena's hand and the raven haired beauty follows the others out of the room. She turns back at the doorway. Emma lifts her hand and does a sad little wave which Lena copies.

“Come on lovebird.” Sam gently grabs Lena’s arm and pulls her away from the door. When they near the elevator Sam wraps an arm around her friend and leans into her ear. “Chicken.” The brunette whispers and laughs at the look of outrage on Lena’s face.

“Hey! I-er-it just-I-” Lena stops and huffs as the superfriends turn to look at her in shock. Rarely, if ever, hearing the badass CEO stutter. The elevator doors open and the group step inside and wait while the elevator descends.

Lucy massages her shoulders and huffs, catching Winn’s attention.

“Lucy? You okay?” Winn asks in concern.

“No, my back and shoulders are killing me.” Lucy moans while flexing and stretching her back, trying to relieve the pain there.

“What did you do?” Sam asks with a frown.

“Nothing.” Lucy says bewildered but pauses as she thinks through her day. “Well, I did jump onto Emma to stop her going down to the cells. Maybe I just pulled something.”

Sam's face morphs into one of deep thought as she contemplates Lucy’s words. Her eyes find Lena’s who tilts her head as she tries to figure out what Sam is thinking.

The doors open and the superfriends make their way to the cell holding Alex and Kara.

Lena can’t help but feel apprehensive and a bit guilty at the sight of Kara and Alex. She hasn’t properly spoken to the sisters since their imprisonment. Her main focus has solely been on Emma.

She hangs back as the others enter the room and make their way over to the cell. Nia and Brainy are already in front of the sisters as Brainy works through his data and Nia is sitting on the floor having had her meal with Kara and Alex.

“Guys!” Kara jumps to her feet and smiles brightly at the group. “It’s so good to see you all!” Her eyes meet each of the superfriends and widen for a moment when they connect with her best friend.

“Any news?” Alex says standing next to her sister and places her hands on her hips. Immediately morphing into Director Danvers.

“Still no leads.” J’onn says quietly and Alex clenches her jaw while Kara crosses her arms.

“We’ve swept the area and any samples we take comes up with nothing.” Winn holds up his tablet to the sisters to show them his data.

Lena can’t imagine how the pair must be feeling. Obviously as frustrated, if not more, then Lena, to know their attackers are walking free out in the world which makes Lena’s blood boil.

“Do you remember anything new?” Lucy asks and Brainy pulls up some photos of other locations. “Or do these pictures mean anything?”

Brainy holds out his tablet to show the pair. They study them intently.

“No.” Alex huffs heavily and Kara shakes her head, avoiding everyone's eyes as she wills herself to remember anything that would help. “It’s still too fuzzy.”

“One minute we were with Emma and I flew off with Alex and then next we are on the way to her apartment to-” Kara motions her hand, not wanting to finish the sentence.

“I just remember darkness and feeling cold, pain. The sound of running water and a hum.” Alex says hauntingly.

“I know how overwhelming all this can be.” Sam draws the sisters attention to her. She fiddles with the edge of Emma’s painting. Wanting desperately to say the right words. “When I would wake up after Reign took over, it was the most terrifying feeling. To have these fuzzy memories but not being able to focus on them. I just wanted you both to know you aren’t alone in this.” Sam says passionately and Kara takes it in, nodding her thanks and taking a deep breath.

Alex continues looking over the data, trying to make her brain remember something useful. Anything.

“Yes, we will figure this out. Don’t lose hope.” J’onn looks between them.

The sisters nod.

“How-” Kara pauses, biting her lip. “How is she? Emma.”

“She’s desperate to see you both.” Lena says softly, making the sisters tense simultaneously.

“Yea, I had to jump on her back to stop her coming down here earlier.” Lucy jokes lightly but subconsciously rubs her shoulder and Alex frowns at the brunette.

“She painted something for you.” Sam quickly interrupts when she sees the redhead opening her mouth to ask a question. Sam holds the painting in front of her and turns it so the sisters can see.

Immediately both their eyes mist over and Kara’s lips disappear as she tries to stop herself from crying out and Alex digs her nails into her palms.

“She knows you both aren’t ready to see her.” Lena says gently, seeing their distress. “But Emma wanted you to know how much she loves you. That nothing can or will ever change that.”

Alex shakes her head at Lena’s words. ‘How can Emma be so forgiving?’

“Because you are her sisters.” J’onn responds. He didn’t mean to hear Alex’s thoughts, at the moment they are just so loud, as if she is screaming them at him.

“We’ll think about it.” Kara says and looks at her sister who does a slight nod in agreement. Despite the many hours together they haven’t spoken about the attack. Instead they are pushing their pain away and hiding it, pretending it doesn’t exist.

“That’s all we ask.” J’onn reassures them.

“What’s the news on her voice?” Alex says while crossing her arms and Lucy steps closer to the sisters.

“Well, I had a chat with Doctor Sloan and he feels ready to operate soon. Maybe in the next month or so.” She says while looking at both Kara and Alex. Lena squints her eyes slightly at the news, trying to remember if Emma had communicated this with her.

“That’s good, right?” Kara asks desperately and lowers her arms.

“It is.” Lucy smiles. But she is holding back key information that there is a chance that the surgery won’t be successful the first time. Feeling that it could dash the little hope the sisters are holding onto. Even Alex looks a bit lighter from the news.

“Please tell Emma we love her too.” Alex responds softly and focuses on Lena. “Give her a hug from me.”

“And me.” Kara adds quickly, smiling cautiously at her best friend.

“Of course!” Lena nods while taking a nervous step closer as she fiddles with her hands. “I actually wanted your opinion on something.”

-- -- --

Emma quietly strums her guitar while her mom reads in the chair next to her. The blonde pauses to write down the notes and chords, finding it slightly frustrating she can’t sing them out. But she continues on and tries to match the pitch with what she is singing in her head.

The door opening makes Emma whip her head around. She smiles at Lena as she closes it behind her and comes over to her. Emma shuffles across the bed, allowing Lena to sit next to her and the blonde carefully places her guitar on the stand by the bed.

“Hi love.” Lena kisses Emma’s lips as her girlfriend turns back around. The raven haired beauty smiles at Eliza, who watches them over her book. “J’onn is asking if you can meet him in the lab?”

“Thank you Lena.” Eliza closes her book, stands and kisses Emma’s forehead and surprises Lena when she does the same to her.

Emma smiles at her shocked girlfriend and gently strokes her cheek. Waiting for her mom to leave the room before kissing Lena again. Before things get heated Emma pulls back and signs. “How are they?”

“Well, they send their love and promise to think about seeing you soon.” Lena watches as Emma’s eyes grow sad. “I’m sorry.”

Emma nods, lowering her head and runs her thumb over Lena’s hand.

The raven haired beauty goes to open her mouth but finds the words she wants to say get stuck in her throat. Emma immediately notices and looks up at her girlfriend. Tilting her head questioningly.

“I- erm…” Lena lets out a small laugh. “This is ridiculous. The famous Lena Luthor stumbling on her words.”

Emma smiles slightly and squeezes Lena’s hand three times.

“I love you too.” Lena leans in and presses her forehead against Emma’s. She takes a deep breath and pulls away again so she can see her girlfriend properly.

“So, I’ve been thinking and I was wondering, when you are discharged…”

Lena fidgets and momentarily looks away.

“That… Whether you would like to, I mean you can say no, no pressure, but if you would like to come and…”

Emma squeezes her girlfriend’s hand, making Lena lift her eyes and gaze at her.

“Live with me?” Lena’s voice goes higher in pitch as she asks the question. Her nerves and Irish twang coming through.

Emma’s mouth drops open and her eyes fill with tears before smiling so brightly Lena thinks it outshines the sun.

“Is that a yes?” Lena asks tenderly.

Emma responds by vigorously nodding before leaping onto Lena’s lap and kissing her. Making Lena smile happily into the kiss as she wraps her arms around her girlfriend.

(Part Twenty Two)

[foxx-queen]

"Well this is awkward...." gd

loosely based on this idea where astra is part of an alien resistance against the deo that formed when henshaw was still in charge

‘I know you’re awake’.

Alex manages not to react to the voice. She’s been aware she hasn’t been alone for some time, now, and she continues to breathe slowly and evenly, her fingers still curled lightly around the fork hidden up her sleeve. It’s not much of a weapon, but it’ll have to do.

‘That’s a terrible weapon’, the voice speaks up again, light and rich and almost amused, ‘though I’ll give you points for hiding it so well’.

Alex’s fingers twitch, and she lets out a long, irritated sigh. Damnit. She’ll just have to try something else.

She opens her eyes, swinging her legs over and sitting up in the small cot, her jaw set tightly. ‘I don’t want points from you’.

‘You’ turns out to be a shockingly attractive woman leaning against the wall by the door to her cell, and Alex is a little taken aback by how casual she looks, dressed in grey sweatpants and a loose fitting white t shirt. Her hair is pulled back in a loose bun, and long strands of hair curl forward to frame her face. There’s a staff leaning against the wall beside her, and her feet are bare.

She’s also smiling, which is more frustrating than how at ease she seems.

‘They’re not many points’, the woman says lightly, ‘so don’t worry’.

Alex’s teeth grind together. She knows she’s already too wound up, but she can’t help it. Her thoughts are fixed on Kara, and the idea that this woman might pose some threat to her. ‘What do you want?’

The woman’s smile falls, and she purses her lips. ‘You work for an organisation bent on imprisoning or killing my people. I take a rather personal offence at that’.

Alex blinks. It’s a little unnerving to realise that she’s talking to an alien, an alien who apparently knows who she is, and that she works for the DEO, something that not even Kara knows. Her fingers curl tightly around the fork still clutched in her hand. ‘We intervene to protect people’.

‘Is that what you think?’ The woman makes a disapproving sound, and says, ‘I would’ve hoped that Kara’s sister was more than just a soldier blindly following orders’.

Alex lunges. It’s an instinctive, gut response to hearing her sister’s name in the woman’s mouth, and she swipes the fork up towards the woman’s face. The woman’s arm comes up to block her, and it’s a little like striking an iron bar. The next thing she knows, she’s flat on her back in the dirt, the air knocked from her lungs, and the woman is leaning over her, her head cocked and the corner of her mouth twitching in a smile. ‘Are you done?’

‘If you hurt her, I swear -’

‘Were you listening to me?’ The woman rolls her eyes, and there’s something oddly familiar about it. ‘I’m an alien, Alexandra Danvers. So is Kara. Why would I hurt her?’

Alex grits her teeth, and takes a slow, measured breath. ‘Who are you?’

The woman leans on her staff, and gives her a mock salute. ‘General Astra In-Ze, at your service’.

Alex stares. For a moment, the world spins and falls away, and she forgets her anger in favour of gaping at her. ‘Astra? Kara’s aunt?’

‘The very same’. Astra nudges the butt of her staff against Alex’s arm, and says, ‘do get up’.

Alex blinks rapidly, and mutters, ‘well, this is awkward’. She sits up slowly. ‘I don’t… I don’t get it. Why have you kidnapped me? What do you want with me? Why aren’t you with Kara?’

‘I kidnapped you for Kara’s sake, actually’. Astra turns to rest her staff against the wall, and as she does, Alex sees the telltale white streak Kara told her about curled up into her bun. She’s not lying, then. ‘Sit’.

‘I’ll stand’. Alex frowns. ‘And how is kidnapping me going to help Kara in anyway. If she knew -’

‘I’m hoping to fix the potential rift between you before it opens up’. Astra tilts her head slightly. ‘You work for an organisation that hates and hunts aliens. And yet, your sister is one’.

Alex’s temper flares. ‘I joined it to protect her. I would never harm her’.

Astra hums, and it somehow sounds skeptical. ‘Kara’s told me a lot about you. I believe that. But, your organisation is not you’.

Alex pauses. ‘Wait… so you’ve… seen Kara?’

‘I have’. The corners of Astra’s eyes crinkle, a look Alex thinks might be pleasure, and she says, ‘we reunited about a week ago’.

Alex feels her stomach twist unpleasantly, and she looks away, unable to help how hurt she feels, that Kara didn’t tell her. Though it’s not hard to guess that Astra had something to do with it. ‘Did you tell her not to?’

‘I asked’. Astra taps the end of her staff against the floor, an apparently absent minded movement. ‘There are many people under my care. She trusts you implicitly, but understood why I wanted to verify that trust myself’. She tilts her head. ‘She had absolutely no idea that you worked for it… what is it you call yourselves? The DEO?’

She says it like it’s a question, even though it’s clear she knows.

Alex’s jaw juts, but she nods. ‘That’s right. We monitor aliens and other powered non-humans to prevent them from causing harm to the general public’.

Astra scoffs. ‘Does that justify tearing families apart? Unjustly imprisoning countless of us simply because we didn’t get off the streets fast enough?’

Alex shakes her head. ‘Anyone we’ve imprisoned has been a threat to innocent people’.

Astra purses her lips. ‘When I told Kara who you were working for, she assured me that you must not know exactly what the DEO does. And has done. I hope, for your sake, and for hers, that that is true’.

She steps back, and opens the door to her cell. ‘Come. It’s time you see these threats when they’re not running for their lives’.

Alex stands her ground. Astra sighs, and something in her face softens. ‘Alex, I’m trying to help. Do you really think Kara would’ve joined us if there wasn’t some merit to what I’m saying?’

‘Kara’s easily swayed by her heart’, Alex says tightly, ‘it’d be easy for her to be deceived by someone she lost’. Her hands curl into fists, and outrage for Kara surges up in her chest. ‘Did you know she was alive?’

Astra pauses. She closes her eyes, and Alex sees old, honest sorrow in her face. ‘No. I had… I had no idea. I tried to search for her, when I landed, but… I was looking for a grown woman. Kal was all grown up, you see, and I assumed…’ she shakes her head, and her throat works in a way that seems painful. ‘Kal wouldn’t talk to me. Somehow he knew about my imprisonment in Fort Rozz, and wanted to keep me away from Kara’.

It’s odd to see so much emotion in the woman’s face, considering the circumstances, and Alex’s heart aches oddly. She remembers Kara’s stories about her aunt. She wonders how many years it was, before Astra finally gave up.

‘Kara’s my sister’, she says finally, ‘and I… I can’t be sorry that I got to grow up with her. But I am… I am sorry you lost her for so long’.

Astra looks up at her, her eyebrows inclined slightly in surprise. ‘Thank you’, she says quietly, and something in her posture softens. ‘I… Kara has told me much about you, Alex. She loves you, very much. It’s why I’m hoping to… make things easier’.

Alex sighs. Something about the interaction has… cooled her. ‘This might not go the way you want, Astra’.

The corner of Astra’s mouth twitches. ‘Humour me?'

Alex stares at Astra for a long moment. She thinks about Kara, and about how much her sister missed her aunt, about the stories she’d tell, and runs a hand through her hair. ‘Fine. For Kara’.

Astra sticks her hand out. Her arm is rigid and her stance is a little awkward, and she shakes her hand up and down stiffly before she releases it, but the meaning is the same. ‘For Kara’.

[apveng]

Time Out! (From Saving the World!)

So... hey! Long time since I posted an unaired scene fic.. But, something about this past episode made me want to write about Kara and Alex again. Don’t get me wrong. I liked the episode! But, there was something missing...And, I felt like adding it. And.. here you are!

Okay.. confessions first. This could very well be a Danvers Sisters fic as well. I just refrained from using “sis” (deliberately deleted it...) so that my kalex friends can enjoy it too... It is up to you how you view it.

It is a tad bit long.. So, not sure what you will make of it.. But.. yeah... Read on, if you feel like..<I couldn’t proof read; so not sure if there are any mistakes.>

It was midnight… and despite the excitement of the past few days, the DEO was quiet. It should have been peaceful… except… Alex could never feel at peace when she didn’t know how Kara was.

After recovering from the parasite’s attack earlier in the day, Kara had left Alex with a hug and a relieved sigh… and barely a sentence about how happy she was to have Alex healthy. Since then, there has been no sign of her.

Of course, everyone had been busy after that what with the discovery that Lena was possibly the next target of Purity and then the eventual realisation that Sam… Sam!!! Rao!!! ….was Reign and Lena had been keeping her contained in lab to run tests on her.

Alex had come to know what happened from Winn and had rushed to check in to see that Kara was okay.

And Kara was nowhere to be found… She had left Lena with Winn and J’onn to settle in at the DEO, after reassuring her of course—she wouldn’t be Kara if she hadn’t done that.

Where are you Kar! I know you are beating yourself up over what happened… Don’t do that! It is not your fault.

If it was anyone’s fault it was Alex’s. To think that she had actually ran test on Sam and found nothing. And, her having a speciality in alien physiology. Why hadn’t she done a more thorough check on Sam? Checked her genetics and cellular structure for god’s sake. Every geneticist should have thought of that.

Why hadn’t she?

And now, Kara was paying the price.

She was also probably heartbroken that Lena kept such a dangerous secret from her. May be thinking that this might not have happened if only she had confided in Lena about her own identity.

Alex paused on the way to the sparring room.

No! Kara would not be there punching things… despite Mon El’s and Winn’s suggestions and commentary about how angry she looked.

That is what Alex does. Not Kara.

Kara would be up on the roof looking at the stars… Because that is what she always did when things got difficult… or… when she got lonely!

Alex turned and raced to the roof, ignoring the startled glances of her fellow agents on the way. They didn’t matter. Only Kara did.

There Kara was… leaning against the parapet, her eyes on the stars… A wistful expression on her face… Oh how Alex hated seeing that look of longing.

Damn! Lena!

No! Damn her for not finding this out soon enough.

“Hey!” Alex greeted tentatively.

Kara stiffened for a second before relaxing and looking towards Alex with a smile. “Hey! Not going home, yet?”

“And… have Winn and Brainy bring down the DEO fighting over some obscure tech from the future? Not a chance!”

That brought out a chuckle. Still… the slight stiffness to her stance remained.

What can she do?

Alex stepped forward to apologise. To tell Kara that what happened was not Kara’s fault but Alex’s. But before she could say anything, Kara took her hand and pulled her to her side.

“Don’t say anything please!” Kara said softly as Alex settled by her side. “Just stay here.”

Not letting go of Alex’s hand, Kara went back to studying the stars… And, Alex settled by her side… leaning into her so that she knew Alex was here to talk if needed. That she had Alex’s support.

After a minute, she started tracing the constellations with her mind… remembering their teenage years when the two of them used to sneak out and look at the stars together.

It was so peaceful like this. Just the two of them. One could almost forget that there were superpowered beings out there that wanted to destroy their world. That wanted to destroy Kara.

“I miss them!” Kara said after a while.

Kara rarely talked about her parents. Alex knew that it hurt her still to talk about them. It was all right to talk about Krypton... And when they were kids Kara used to talk about the life there often… But about her parents… About the people she lost… barely a peep. It has improved slightly over the past couple of years; ever since Alex made Kara that room with her mother’s AI. But, not by much.

Alex rubbed the hand and arm that held her own. She had no words for this.

“I sometimes think.. if only I had been older, I might have been able to save them… If only I knew something…”

“Kara…”

“If I had you there with me… may be. We would have found a way…”

Alex’s heart ached… To hear her speak thus…

Come on Alex! Say something!

“Ha! May be you should have had Brainy there with you. Or Winn.. Or J’onn! I am not sure I’d have been much help… I didn’t even know what was wrong with Sam!” Alex could never forgive herself for that. She chuckled to hide her discomfort, and shrugged as if she didn’t care.

“Alex, stop!” Kara’s focus was away from the stars now. And completely on her.

Kara pulled back a bit and scanned Alex’s face, and Alex tried not to flinch from her scrutiny.

“I am sorry.” She said finally.

Alex raised an eyebrow, surprised. Those were her words.

“It must have been such a shock for you to learn that Sam is Reign! And, here I was wallowing in anger and self-pity and fear while I should have been checking in on you.” Kara’s forehead had come together in that crinkle that Alex so loved.

Alex shook her head. “I am fine… It is you I am worried about. Learning about Sam… Finding out that Lena knew about Sam… They are your friends not mine… I know that is why you are up here… But.. you can’t blame yourself Kara. You can’t. It is not your fault… If it is anybody’s fault...”

“Will you stop?” Kara, interjected looking a tiny bit exasperated.

“Yes. I feel guilty and sad that Lena had not confided in me…” Alex nodded in understanding.

“And you have no idea how angry I am that the Worldkillers got away because we didn’t know where Sam was…”

Yep! Alex shared her anger.

“But Alex…” Kara brought up the hand that was holding Alex’s to her shoulder, rubbing her arm in the process. And probably to further the effect, or may be because she was scared Alex would turn away—Ha! No chance. Not when she was focused like this—she brought up her other arm and held Alex in place.

“… I am not up here because of that… I am up here because of what happened with you…”

“You mean, because I missed identifying what was wrong with Sam?”, Alex ventured.

Kara sighed and shook her head… And then, rolled her eyes as if Alex didn’t know anything. Alex decided that she would point out her stellar work record later. Right now, she needed to know what Kara was thinking.

Kara took a deep breath and then said softly. “No silly! Because I nearly lost you today.”

“Oh!”

“Do you know how scared I was? I couldn’t even bear standing near you. It made me feel…” Kara shuddered… “…so helpless…” She looked away for a moment before coming back to Alex. “…just like the time when my parents put me into that pod…”

Alex pulled her closer and rubbed her back to soothe her. “I am sorry Kara. I should have been more careful.”

“Will you stop saying sorry? You couldn’t have known Grace was pestilence…” The look of exasperation, and was that affection, was back on her face.

Alex gathered her thoughts, trying to find something that’d settle Kara. Somehow, the knowledge that Kara was here because she had been worried about Alex soothed her. At least she wasn’t here beating herself up for Alex’s mistakes. Everything else, they can manage together.

“I am better now! You found pestilence and helped Brainy cure me. And Winn. All of us!”

“I should have kept an eye on you while we were at city hall…” Alex interrupted Kara right there.

“Wait a minute! You didn’t know who pestilence was either… So right back at ya!”

“Okay.. but…”

“Nope! No buts!” Alex shook her head vigorously. “Or, are you saying that you are better than me because you are Supergirl!”

“What?” That came out as an exclamation and Alex couldn’t help feeling smug. Distraction achieved.

“Of course not! You know very well that I…” Kara stopped and narrowed her eyes. “You are terrible! You are just trying to distract me, aren’t you?”

“Nope!” Alex said solemnly hoping that Kara would get this part. “I am trying to make you understand that nobody could have predicted what happened… or stopped it from happening… What happened was not your fault Kara. You just found a solution for it…And…” she paused and then said firmly, “I am here now! And I am not going anywhere.”

Kara smiled and relaxed. “I will hold you to that promise.”

Alex pulled her close again… She had pulled back to show her indignation…

“Always!”

“Just as a reminder…” Kara said as they settled back to star gazing side by side…”What happened with Sam is not your fault either.” Apparently, she had not forgotten Alex’s words from earlier. Alex’s heart swelled at that.

“Alex!” Kara shook Alex slightly… “Are you listening?”

“I am!” Alex smiled and then, rolled her eyes… “Enough talk about sad things... Let me tell you something worth celebrating! Did you know that NASA is sending InSight spacecraft to Mars shortly?”

“Really?” Kara’s face lit up. “Does J’onn know? Why do you think they have never discovered any white Martian there? Do you think they destroy any probes Nasa sends? Or.. No! May be they just rig it so that it sends false images….”

Alex grinned and settled down for a good discussion.

And they spend the rest of the night there… Studying stars… Talking about everything and nothing… and feeling safe and happy because they were together.

They can go back to saving the world tomorrow…

Notes:

I forgot what Alex called that squiglle on Kara’s forehead. Feel free to tell me. Edited to replace quirk with crinkle. Thanks @venus-kareng.

I am pretty sure the show will forget to address how Alex would feel about Sam and failing to identify what was wrong with her.. So wanted to add that... Not sure if I did a good job of it.

From how little Alex seems to know about Kara’s past (she didn’t know about Daxam or about the Kryptonian meditation technique), I thought she probably was reluctant to talk about her parents. But okay to share about science and tech and other stuff. Though she did at times. It kind of makes me feel that there are so many places their relationship can still go. So much potential growth.. And so many conversations... Both of them are still hiding a lot of pain that they could talk about.

I am hoping they did get some time out because things have been happening very fast for the past few days (Earth 38 days) and it doesn’t seem as if any of them have had a moment’s rest.

I completely forgot while writing this that Kara had fallen ill as well. Anyways, it has no relevance since Alex never knew about it. What was the point of it anyways?

It’s rather long.. I got carried away. Sorry.

Thank you for reading.