#but the yearning to do it is strong

[martianbugsbunny]

ah stab me it's Hugh Jackman gives me gender envy hours again

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Laios's three Boy Best Friends. And yes, they hate him.

[p4nishers]

no really ALL im saying is if aziraphale was infront of ME and me only and even gave me a smallest amount of attention i would've already confessed right there. wouldn't have taken me 5 minutes let alone 6000 YEARS. nuh uh. especially if he slutted me out while dressed like THAT in 1793 or rizzed me up in 1941. i may be oblivious but im not dumb as fuck and i would've taken THE FUCKING HINT. unlike SOMEONE. ugh if only i was in crowley's place this shitshow wouldn't have taken more than aziraphale's eyelashes to flutter once and i'm done for the wedding is already in full swing oh lookie here a priest appeared completely out of nowhere how odd how mysterious!! anyway we must not waste this opportunity let's just get over w it for completely normal regular reasons YEP!! nothing to see here just a perfectly regular every day wedding !! like come on man atp u gotta blame urself for wasting opportunities like that

[mamawasatesttube]

i wish i could organize a timkon giftswap or week or whatever event, but like only for people who actually care about kon as a character, without coming off as a gatekeeping asshole or something lmao

[stuckinapril]

It‘a kind of insane how Baghdad is always on my mind tbh I would do anything to run away to the capital and deal w my dad’s crazy relatives calling me whitewashed just so I could sit on a bistro and look at the string of lights and listen to people speak Arabic and eat Iraqi food and feel like a true Iraqiya

[creepyscritches]

I wish smoking cigarettes wasn't bad for you like YEAH I'm glad I quit but you have to understand the wing-clip it was to remove the cigarette from the grungy southern emo. Rehoming my zippo collection like I'm signing a no pet lease w a house full of cats...

[fizpup]

the way you draw ponies is so cute and fun and joyful looking..! i looked up the birthstone ponies bc of your october one to see who was for my month and looking at all of them together is so nostalgic ^_^ thank you for sharing your art, its so nice being reminded of ponies i used to love!

who are your favorites now, & are they the same as they were when you were younger, or have you found you like others you didnt used to? sorry if youve answered that before!

thanks, that's very sweet of you! 🧡 I'm glad you were inspired to revisit g3 :)

my favorites now and as a kid have always been pegasi and tropical ponies (those categories usually overlap of course) and my all time favorite is Coconut Grove. some others I really like are Denim Blue, Bunches-o-Fun, Wishawhirl, and Caribbean Delight

[skyward-floored]

I like rainy days, but what I don’t like are humid grey muggy days that aren’t really much in the way of days at all. Bleh.

[roadkill-dreaming]

[polteergeistt]

While I still haven't hurt my body with unnecessarily strong movements, and I'm still resting limp in bed as the day rises, it would be amazing to be handled gently, not to wake me up but just to be held. I want to be a comfort plushie, to be brought back by loving arms into a warm embrace. No words, no overwhelming touches. It's just like as if we were asleep still. But we are not and we are enjoying each other's presence and warmth. There is nothing but loosely wrapped arms and slow breaths. And that's enough. That's more than enough.

[vee-lociraptor]

i say this often but. going through it a bit tonight

[romantically-yours]

I wanna pick up a girl and pin her against a wall and give her lots of lil smooches while we giggle like the little gay goblin gremlins that we are

[d2fybwvzdcbyzwdhcmrz]

I am actually deeply and profoundly lonely and also losing my mind but shh it’s a secret

[perhaps-in-anotherdream]

[CN] Victor x MC S2 CH 40 – Split Route (Eng Translation)

“I can now be only his dummy. I can nestle up in his arms without any worries. I can cry whenever I want to, laugh whenever I want to.”

“The moment our eyes interlock, I seem to be seeing a god who belongs to me.”

Do remember to read S2 CH 39 prior to this: Here!

⌚ This post contains detailed spoilers for a chapter that is yet to be released in the global server. ⌚

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•

[Heads-up from Anika]: Very, very, very highly recommend reading Victor’s S1 CH 37 Route and “Meeting in the Past Date” before continuing further— ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ

—

✧ [CONTEXT BEFORE THE SPLIT ROUTES] ✧

A whole lot of things happen here LOL, so I’m not gonna go into the details. Long story short: After a whole lot of confrontation and stuffs, MC decides to change the rules of the world regardless. The little boy tells her that strange phenomenon will occur as a result of her action, but no one knows what will happen next. But until that moment, MC can still have a breather.

MC finds herself regaining her consciousness in a bus, and here she meets Shaw. After parting with Shaw, players can choose any split route to their liking, and the phenomenon will depend on the boy they choose.

In Victor’s route, the phenomenon, of course, is the meteor shower. 

—

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•

—

✧ [CH 40-1] ✧

The endless meteor shower is akin to a magnificent performance beneath the curtain of night.

As far as the eyes can see, the stars filling the sky plunge across the vast expense, trailing their bright trajectories and branding resplendent and profound imprints on the retinas.

I gaze at the rain of stars for a long, long time, my breathing unconsciously becoming much more relaxed.

Is this what that little boy meant when he said a phenomenon would occur after the rules of the world are broken?

The rocking coach suddenly comes to a halt. The doors at the front and back open slowly, akin to some kind of miraculous guidance.

I ponder for only a moment before standing up and getting off the bus.

The moment my feet land steadily on the ground, a bright white light suddenly envelops me, causing me to have no other choice but squint my eyes.

–

By the time I return to my senses, everything in front of me has already changed its appearance.

The neon lights of the entire city twinkle beneath my feet, and the evening breeze carries the faint clamor of traffic in the distance.

Amid the city ablaze with gentle lights, everything is peaceful as if it were any other ordinary night.

It seems as though if I turn my head back now, I will be able to see that figure standing in front of the railings.

MC: …

I subconsciously hold my breath, unable to understand why I am here.

A vague conjecture sprouts in my heart. But it’s something that’s been engraved in my mind for too long and been standing still for far too long…

It’s been so long that, after just one moment of it springing to life, I involuntarily dismiss the thought.

At this moment, I inadvertently catch a glimpse of the clock tower in the distance out of the corner of my eye, and I suddenly find myself frozen in place.

The minute hand on the dial shifts its position between the III and IV. And even as I’m standing dumbfounded in place for a moment, it moves down another tiny scale.

MC: ! Time…

I suddenly think of something, and my heartbeat immediately accelerates a little. I stare unblinkingly at the clock tower, clenching my palms.

Time suddenly seems to slow to a crawl, so slow that I feel as if my eyes are about to sweat. Finally, the minute hand moves another minute line.

…time truly has resumed its flow.

But for me, it’s not just time that seems to be flowing.

I can hear even the very soft sound of leaves being rustled by the breeze. I can also hear the clear sound of the vehicle tires pressing against the manhole cover.

I see the lights of many apartment buildings turning bright one after another, and the little “signal man” in front of the sidewalk turning green, causing everyone to strive to run forward.

At long last, I hear the massive stone that has been piling up inside my heart for a long, long time, finally falling to the ground with a heavy thud.

I’ve finally arrived in the future after 19:17.

Clearly, the dial has only advanced two marked scales, but I feel like I’ve been treading for so, so long.

The prolonged 48 hours that never came to an end, the 17 years of “moving forward” again, and those distant pasts that I’ve never forgotten – everything comes to life before my eyes in this instant.

For some reason, I suddenly think of the first time Victor brought me here.

Thereupon, I blink my stinging eyes and walk over to the railings, trying to get a better view of this brightly lit city.

Unbeknownst to me, in the few seconds that I’ve had my head down, an extraordinarily bright meteor has streaked across the horizon.

It appears that something has come to fruition.

–

Perhaps because of the extraordinary grandeur of the meteor shower, there are many more pedestrians on the streets than usual. They are either snuggling up to each other and looking up at the sky, or stopping in their tracks and taking pictures to remember the occasion.

I’m the only person who keeps weaving through the restless crowds, accelerating my pace in the direction of the BS Headquarters.

Although I don’t know what is to come next, but according to the little boy, I still have time to gasp for breaths before the vision is over.

And the one and only thing I must do right now is to find Victor.

All I want is to see him a little sooner. I want to make sure with my own eyes that he is safe and sound. I want to stand in front of him and tell him that I did it.

I want to tell him that I’ve changed the rules of that damned world, that I didn’t fail to live up to his trust, and that I’ve returned to him.

With these thoughts in mind, I simply break into a run.

I keep running incessantly through several streets within a few moments. Suddenly, a light appears at the end of the wide road, illuminating the path ahead of me.

The sharp sound of tires scraping against the road drifts to me, and a car speeds past me swiftly, surging up a vast wave of air current.

Immediately afterward, the ear-splitting sound of the emergency brake rings out behind me.

I subconsciously stop in my tracks and turn back.

The whole car body is thrown back 180 degrees because of the sudden brake, and the headlights are a little dazzling to the eyes, making it hard for me to see clearly.

In the fuzzy halo, I hear the door being jerked open with a heavy sound. It seems that someone is coming toward me in large strides, and they don’t even have the time to close the door.

The sound of hurried leather shoes reverberates down the road and lands on my heart at the same time.

I subconsciously call out in a soft voice––

MC: Victor!

The person approaching doesn’t respond and, instead, quickens his pace through the opaque night, walking towards me against the backdrop of light.

I instinctively run towards him, until the face blurred by the light comes clearly into my horizon.

The fringes in front of his forehead are a little disheveled, his temples are beaded with a thin layer of sweat, and the sleeves of his shirt, which have always been well-fitted, are crumpled in the crook of his arms.

Even when he sees me running, he doesn’t stop and even takes larger strides toward me.

Victor: [emotional panting for LITERALLY 10 secs]  … 

Victor softly gasps for breaths, not even blinking as he gazes at me, and he seems to be suppressing some complicated emotions in his chest.

A touch of incredulity crosses over his forever-composed face, and it appears to be mixed with a bit of daze that I’ve never seen before.

But in the end, it all cumulates into a soft sigh.

MC: Victor, I did it. I…

My words are interrupted by a bolt from the blue hug.

But he doesn’t speak and only tightens his arms around me in silence. It seems that he walked too fast just now, and his breathing is still a little heavy.

Victor: [voice literally shaking like a volcano about to erupt x1]  I know.

Victor: [x2]  You’ve done very well.

Victor: [x3]  You’ve been doing very well since a really long time ago.

After what seems like ages, Victor speaks softly. There is an almost imperceptible tremor in his voice.

MC: [perplexed] Victor…?

Victor: [x4]  We still have a long time ahead of us, so let’s not talk about the comet yet.

Victor: [x5]  Right now, I just want to hold you like this.

—

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•

—

✧ [CH 40-3] ✧

I feel as if the entire world is infused with Victor’s scent.

The reassuring temperature wraps around me, and the large hand caressing the back of my head seems to tremble slightly. But the strength with which he is holding me is irresistible, so much so that I even find it difficult to breathe for a split second.

But I don’t say anything.

Even if I don’t know what happened, at this moment, all I want to do is hold him quietly. Therefore, I bury my head even lower, feeling the same rise and fall of our chests.

Only the silent reflections of the meteors travel across the secluded road. We stand there like this for a long time, quietly in each other’s arms.

After a while, the breathing in my ears seems to calm down a little. I speak in a muffled voice in his arms.

MC: Victor, are you all right?

MC: Did pausing the time earlier have an impact on you?

He remains silent for a long time before he lifts his head. His deep eyes land on me, and there seem to be a myriad of emotions raging within them. But in the end, he only speaks in a light tone.

Victor: ...that was nothing.

MC: Really? Then why were you silent for so long just now?

MC: Could it be that CEO Victor admires me so much for saving the world to the point of being rendered speechless?

I tease as I pretend to be relaxed, but Victor continues to look at me with heavy eyes.

Then bending his fingers, he gently caresses my eyes with his finger pads, then treads down, stroking my nose and mouth.

The motion of his action is incredibly slow. It’s as though he is tracing over the details carefully, as if he is confirming something.

Finally, he laughs softly.

MC: [perplexed] ...Victor?

Victor: [sounding as if the weight of the world has been lifted off his shoulders] Dummy.

I don’t know why but he says this familiar word in a manner of enunciating something extremely precious. His hoarse voice clearly depicts how exhausted he is, but it also contains a certain unspeakable joy.

Victor: Where’s my coffee?

I’m slightly stunned and subconsciously ask a follow-up question.

MC: What coffee?

Victor: Have you forgotten?

Victor: You said you’d bring me a cup of coffee when you come back.

The meteors streak dazzling trails across the night sky, and it’s as if the entire world has descended into his eyes.

I stare at him blankly, my brain suddenly forgetting how to organize words, and I even forget how to breathe.

MC: What did... you just say?

My hand unconsciously tightens its grip on the front of his suit’s lapel as I carefully distinguish the expression in that pair of eyes, fearing that this is an illusion in my trance.

The next second, I hear Victor saying it word by word.

Victor: Where’s that coffee you promised you’d bring for me?

He simply repeats what he said just now, not explaining anything. But the light in that pair of bottomless deep eyes has already told me the answer.

It’s reminiscent of a drop of dew gently dripping onto a placid lake surface, but it stirs up thousands of gigantic surging waves in my heart.

The ensuing surge of memories floods me so that it overwhelms me in an instant.

My eyes suddenly become a little watery as all those scenes beneath the eternal night appear vividly in my mind.

In that boundless night, I had held his hand and obtained the courage and strength to go on. Back then, he gazed at me the same way he is now, telling me not to be afraid and that he believed in me.

I embraced this confidence and fought at every step I took to move forward. I had fallen into countless despairs, so much so that I even thought I might never be able to fulfill this promise, that I would never be able to bring back the him from the past.

But now, at last, I have lived up to my promise.

The world in front of me is a little blurry. I restrain the urge to break into a sob and call out his name with great effort.

MC: Victor... you’ve remembered everything, haven’t you?

MC: I- I’m not dreaming, right?

Victor: No.

His voice is so low that it sounds like a mere sigh, yet it’s extraordinarily firm.

In my fuzzy vision, I see Victor brushing away the moisture from the corners of my eyes with his index finger, bringing with it a gentleness and caution that carries an incomparable longing and unwillingness to let go.

He takes my hand and caresses it up to his face, then slowly moves it downward, stopping at the position of his heart.

Victor: What you see before you is the true Victor.

Victor: Regardless of whether it’s the past, the present, or the future. This is the one and the only thing that will not change.

Victor: Do you still need to confirm it again?

He says it with such frankness that I’m suddenly reminded of that déjà vu scene from a very long time ago, and I can’t help but tighten my grip on his fingers.

The temperature of my palm is hot, my heart is hot, and even my eyes are burning. I’m clearly overwhelmed with a joy that’s beyond description, but I still choke up when I open my mouth.

MC: I need to confirm it. How can confirming just once be enough? I’m going to confirm it many, many times, until you call me “dummy.”

Victor: It was only a few minutes ago when you asked me to pause the time in a bossy manner, and you’ve made so much progress over the years.

Victor: How come you still love to cry like this in this regard?

MC: I’m holding back!

Victor: Mm, I can see that.

He looks at me with his appearance of remaining calm in the hour of peril, the tip of his brows finally slackening. I look into that pair of eyes tinged with soft colors and can’t bear to look away.

With just one glance, all the pain and dust of the entire journey along the way have been soothed.

I have so many questions I want to ask him, so many things I want to say to him. But my brain is indescribably chaotic, and instead, I think of that promise I had made.

Now it’s just one cup of coffee away from being complete.

MC: Victor, I- I’ll go get the coffee right now!

MC: ...you wait here! Wait for me right here!

—

I draw a step back as I speak. In spite of Victor’s obstruction, I turn my head back and run in the direction I came from, praying in my heart that I can buy a cup of coffee soon.

But the streets beneath the wondrous meteor show are incomparably cold, and all the shops have pulled their roller shutters down.

I have scoured all the streets in the neighborhood, but I’m unable to find a single coffee shop that is open.

I gasp for breath as I stand at the intersection, my ears flooding with the buzz from the rapid rush of blood through me. I feel a touch of cold and exhaustion as a belated realization.

The familiar sound of footsteps suddenly resounds behind me. I turn around and see Victor’s figure.

Even though I’ve run so far in such a disoriented manner, he’s been right behind me from beginning to end, never being far away from me.

Looking at his slightly messy hair and gentle eyes, a stream of hot air irresistibly rushes up to my chest. My voice already takes on a sobbing tone before I even open my mouth.

MC: I can’t find a coffee shop... Victor, what should I do... I can’t seem to fulfill my promise to you...

At this moment, all my grievances and exhaustion seem to break down the barrier.

It’s not because I’m unable to buy coffee, nor is it because I want to complain to him about how arduous it has been to make it through this journey alone.

Rather, because it’s at this moment that I suddenly become truly aware that all my embarrassments, wretchedness, and vulnerabilities have found their way back home.

I can now be only his dummy. I can nestle up in his arms without any worries. I can cry whenever I want to, and laugh whenever I want to.

The next second, a pair of hands land on my shoulders, wrapping me up in that warm embrace with an irresistible force.

His scent veils my entire world, and the sound of his voice in my ears is steady and reassuring.

Victor: [THAT VOICE] ...dummy. I don’t need coffee.

Victor: [x2] You brought back the old me. That’s enough.

Akin to a ship that has been away from the port for a long time finally returning to its familiar harbor, I can finally relax and no longer need to be anxious and frightened about the wind and rain outside.

I hug Victor back with every bit of strength I have, and the tears that I’ve been holding back for so long finally gush out in sobs.

–

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•

–

✧ [CH 40-4] ✧

[Anika’s Notes]: I’m not even gonna try noting the voice acting for this part cause it’s WAY TOO MUCH ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ

—

I don’t know how long I’ve been crying. Amid the blur of my tearful eyes, I only see Victor parking the car and leading me back home.

The French windows reflect my weeping face, which is in complete shambles. Victor carefully wipes away my tears with a hot towel and sits down on the sofa with me in his arms.

Outside the window, the night’s splendor trails off in long imprints, reminiscent of static yet blooming fireworks.

Noticing that I’m still sobbing spasmodically in secret, Victor speaks in a tone that harbors his faint helplessness and indulgence.

Victor: You’ve been crying the whole time. Don’t you feel uncomfortable?

I hurriedly shake my head. But then giving it a thought, I nod again.

Perhaps it’s because all my grievances and exhaustion have finally found an outlet to confide in. I wipe the rims of my eyes and rest my head against his warm neck.

There is no world waiting to be saved, nor is there any human race or the heavy burdens of fate.

After so long of a separation, there is only Victor and me in this tiny space, peacefully snuggling together after all kinds of unendurable and burdensome pasts.

MC: It’s actually more about the joy, so much more joy than I could ever count. And… a teeny-tiny bit of pride.

Victor: In the past, when the first draft of her proposal got approved, a certain someone’s tail would stick up high into the air.

Victor: How come you’re actually being so humble now?

MC: It illustrates that after going through so much, I’ve indeed grown up under CEO Victor’s tireless teaching.

Victor: [adorably imitates MC’s tone]  That allows you to have great, great pride this time around.

Victor imitates my tone and rests his chin on the top of my head, stroking my back again and again with his big hand.

Victor: You’ve done very well.

He seems to pause, his tone faintly taking on a hint of applause.

Victor: …really, very well.

Victor: I’m so proud that you’ve been able to arrive here on your own.

Victor: You’ve always been beyond my expectation, constantly climbing to an even higher place.

I shake my head, looking up into his eyes.

MC: I didn’t arrive here on my own… have you forgotten, Victor? It was you. You are the one who helped me so, so much.

MC: Even though you didn’t have any memories of the past, and even though you were vaguely aware that I was keeping some things to myself, you still chose to trust me.

MC: It’s because you still stood by my side, being my strength and my motivation, that I have been able to get here.

I press my palms against Victor’s cheeks as I speak. The familiar warmth in the palm of my hands never seems to have changed.

MC: Perhaps we truly are connected by the red thread of fate.

Victor: MC.

Suddenly, he calls out my name in a soft voice.

Victor: Are you tired?

MC: [confused]  Hm? A little bit…

Victor: Tell me honestly.

Lifting my head, I gaze at him and suddenly understand what he means. Thereupon, I nod involuntarily.

MC: In fact, there have been many times when I was already mentally drained out from the setbacks and dangers…

MC: But I still had to grit my teeth and continue forging toward that uncertain future.

MC: Although the restarted world was not too different from the trajectory in the past, there are still many things that had to be confronted with new possibilities.

MC: Occasionally, the thought of giving up would pop into my head… but I knew there was still someone waiting for me in the depths of my memory.

MC: The mere thought of that gave me hundreds and millions of reasons to continue persevering.

The taut heart in my chest also seems to be filling up little by little. Victor stares at me, his gaze fully focused and tender.

MC: Victor, you know something?

I lift my hand as I speak, tracing his outlines little by little.

MC: At first, I felt that time was passing so slowly. It seemed as if my time had stopped forever in that eternal night, and my sky would never light up.

MC: Because of an existential warning, I couldn’t dare to make any changes and had no choice but to be pushed forward by the world, accepting the endless wait.

MC: Until, I met you ahead of time. It was only then did my time started moving again.

Victor sighs softly in a seemingly helpless manner.

Victor: Then why did a certain someone still look so hesitant at that time? What was she hesitating for?

In a split second, my skips half a beat, and I almost instinctively recall the strange message that had charged into my mind.

MC: So that voice I heard back then…

Victor: Even if we are certain that we will meet, you are not the only one who wants to meet sooner.

Victor: So, I used some methods and left those messages for you in the “future.”

For a moment, the puzzles that have been lingering in my heart seem to have been answered. There are still some things that I’m unable to figure out, so I blink and stare at him.

MC: So that message… how did you do it?

Victor: After you left on the eternal night, I went to the future.

Victor: Because I couldn’t help worrying about you.

He says it as a matter of course, as if it were some everyday mundane thing. But I know better than anyone else about the loneliness and hardships of constantly walking through the timelines.

MC: And then?

Victor: Then I saw the dummy who keeps making me worry.

MC: That “future” me you saw, isn’t that the me of right now? How could I make you worry...

Victor: It’s precisely because of that I can’t help being worried.

He says it in an unintelligible manner, but I seem to understand everything.

Victor: Sometimes, I wish for you to be more mature, to be calm while handling matters, and to have enough courage and experiences to encounter difficulties.

Victor: But when the day does come...

Victor reaches out and runs his fingers through my hair.

Victor: I’d rather that you can be a happy dummy, clamoring and chattering next to me every day.

The fire of the fireplace illuminates the light flowing in Victor’s eyes. He inclines his head and kisses my hand, his warm breaths brushing over my fingertips and traveling to the bottom of my heart.

I gaze at him quietly. I want to look at him more, want to hear him talk more. I even selfishly wish that time could stop here forever at this moment.

Victor: I told you before, we are meant to walk in the same direction.

Victor: Even if the world starts all over again ten thousand times.

Victor: I will also have fate always bring us together.

He speaks lightly but with certainty, as if it’s not a promise he is making to appease me, but stating a rock-solid and absolute fact.

The meteor shower outside the window illuminates half the shadows of the living room, reflecting the familiar fond nostalgias therein. I caress his slender eyebrows and can’t help opening my mouth.

MC: Victor, I’m so grateful.

MC: Even if your memories hadn’t come back, we could still have a warm and very long future.

MC: But after picking up the pieces of the past, it gives the feeling that we have never been absent from each other’s lives.

MC: It’s the joy of... “completeness.”

Victor chuckles softly, speaking thoughtfully.

Victor: Probably, this is another significance of the worlds overlapping.

Victor: Although the intrinsic quality of the overlap is destruction, at the same time, those things that belong to the past will also return.

He pauses for a moment. When he speaks again, a touch of solemnity is added to his tone.

Victor: But your efforts are the most integral part of all this.

In the soft yellow light of the fire, we look at each other quietly. I don’t know when but the crackling sound of the fire has been rendered silent at some point.

Thinking that the fire has gone out, I subconsciously tilt my head to have a look. But out of the corner of my eye, I see that the meteor outside the window has stopped in its downward trajectory, freezing behind Victor.

MC: ...?

Stunned for a moment, I subconsciously cast my gaze toward the clock on the wall. The pendulum is stagnated in mid-air, not moving downward, and the time has quietly stopped at 20:21.

Only now do I realize in hindsight that time seems to have stopped, and I look at Victor with a bit of bewilderment.

MC: Have you paused time?

Victor doesn’t answer.

Amid the great depth of stillness, he sighs softly, wraps his arms around me from behind, and slowly lies down.

And then, closing his eyes gently, he devoutly lifts my hand and plants a deeply loving kiss on my fingertips.

Victor: That day... I remember asking you––

Victor: “If I made time stop forever in this moment, would you think I’m selfish?”

I gaze at him in a daze. I seem to be seeing the Victor of that moment again, his trance-like and silent gaze.

Victor: If I had known earlier that it’d take me so long to remember everything...

Victor: I would have made the time that night pass a little slower.

He releases a soft laugh, sounding a little self-deprecating. Then, he lifts his gaze and looks at me intently.

Victor: If the return of memories is simply a flash in the pan...

Victor: Then would you think I’m selfish if I make time pause forever in this moment?

MC: Absolutely not.

I shake my head without the slightest hesitation. Following this, I inch closer to him and plant a soft kiss on his lower jaw.

MC: Victor, are you also scared?

Just like me, do you also fear that all of this is merely a fleeting dream?

This present moment of being together is a moment I’ve awaited expectantly for countless hours in my heart. It’s akin to a dream that I’ve painted millions of times in my mind. It’s so beautiful that it terrifies me to my soul.

Even if you are comforting me calmly, perhaps you’re even comforting yourself like this too?

But hidden in your subconsciousness, do you also fear that this is merely a momentary reward for the traveler on a long and difficult journey?

That the moment the countdown ends, everything will return to the ice-cold reality again?

I hold my breath, trying hard to control my somewhat raging emotions. But even after a long while, I don’t hear an answer.

Victor doesn’t give me a reassuring answer as usual. Instead, he lowers his eyes and approaches me slowly.

Victor: Mm, scared.

Victor: But it’s not the fear that I might forget you.

Victor: I’m scared that you will have to face everything all on your own.

The gaze of the person in front of me is imbued with infinite warm tenderness, soothing the softest of scars in my heart without any difficulty.

I can’t control my tears from falling again, but I still try hard to squeeze out a smile for him.

MC: I’m not scared.

MC: As long as you are by my side, I will forever have the strength to move forward.

The corners of Victor’s lip curl up into an arc. A moment later, he leans in and gently kisses me on the lips.

As our warm breaths entwine, I gently close my eyes and tilt my head sideways to accept this lingering and deep kiss.

From the inseparably loving breaths of this moment to the endless rest of our lives ahead, I long to be integrated as one with this man so that we never have to face separation again.

I have wished countless times that the time could slow down, and even stop in that very moment.

But at this moment, right now, I couldn’t be happier that our time is moving forward.

And our story, too, will never stop here.

Our torrid breathing gradually recedes. I lightly gasp for breath, opening my eyes.

Behind him, the meteor once again streaks across the horizon, turning into the most moving chapter beneath the curtain of night.

The moment our eyes interlock, I seem to be seeing a god who belongs to me.

Victor: MC, I’m back.

—

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•

[Anika’s ramblings, it’s pretty scattered LOL~ you can feel free to ignore]

—

[monochromatictoad]

A day doesn't go by that I don't yearn for Gabriel. I want to hug him. I want to kiss him. I want to hold and be held by him. I want to wake up in the morning beside him. I want to cook with him. I want to take him to fairs and carnivals. I want to see his reactions to taking him hiking across the mountain ranges of the US. I want to late night munchies shop with him. Like getting pizza and drinks from a gas station, going to the DG, and getting takeout just to take it home and play games with each other until we fall asleep. I want quiet moments with him. I want to hear his encouragement and his help with simple tasks when I no longer have the energy to do them. I know he'd take me seriously when I tell him about my chronic body aches and headaches. He wouldn't judge me for a messy room, or for not showering for several days to almost two weeks, if anything he'll help me clean up, never patronizing me about being lazy, because he'd understand. He would understand my mental health and he would do everything he could to help me out of my slumps, especially with my RSD. If he notices that I've been pacing in the kitchen for over an hour, he'll ease me out of the ritual and help me sit down and relax my legs. He'll make sure I'll eat proper meals, instead of just snacks all the time. I want to take him to awkward photoshoots, and to the picture machines in malls and arcades. I wanna take him to an arcade! I wanna take selfies of us and upload them to social media. I just...... Really wish Gabriel was real.

[memser]

if i had an animation program and time and money i would be making awesome animatics to music.or games. i have daydreaming so powerful its like tv behind my eyes but i never have the energy to turn it into anything. because im so broke and busy. you understand how frustrating this is