#but then again it just Hes fighting some stormtroopers

[gloomwitchwrites]

Can you do something angsty with Kylo ren for the 1k follower event? Like makeup/breakup (or both) preferably with a little 🌶️🥵

Kylo Ren, my favorite sad boy. Maybe it’s because I have such a crush on Adam Driver, but I adore Kylo Ren. Maybe it’s because I love dark side-leaning hotties. (Although nothing compares to Darth Maul but I digress). Now, I (personally) see Kylo Ren/Ben Solo as one person, just different personas, however, for this prompt, we’re talking about Kylo Ren. How would Kylo Ren react to a makeup/breakup scenario?? Honestly? Probably not well. Let’s be real.

Most of these are with gn!reader w/ an exception or two.

Content & Warnings (MDNI): angst, toxic/unhealthy relationships, suggestive themes, possessive behavior, non-descriptive mentions of sex

Word Count: 587

ao3 // taglist // main masterlist // 1k follower event masterlist

First and foremost, with how toxic the First Order is, and everyone wanting leverage on others in order to move up the ranks, Kylo would never be open about his relationship with you. He would do everything in his power to hide his relationship with you for that very reason. It’s almost giving Anakin hiding Padme from the Jedi, but in a different light.

Of everyone that might know, it would be Supreme Leader Snoke. Snoke would absolutely use this relationship to manipulate Kylo Ren. He’d encourage the passion but would also devise ways to undermine Kylo’s relationship with you. He’s basically Palpatine in that regard.

The breakup would come from you, not from Kylo Ren unless Snoke deliberately told him to call it off. Even then, I think Kylo would try to hang on to you. He leans toward the dark side but he’s not Sith. He just wants to belong, and he wants to be wanted.

The breakup isn’t explosive or argumentative. If anything, Kylo appears outwardly calm.  It’s almost frustrating for you because you wanted some kind of reaction from him.

It’s the afterward, when you leave, that Kylo loses it. That lightsaber is coming out and heads are rolling. He’ll never unleash his anger on you, but he’ll unleash his anger on stormtroopers, control panels, and literally anything else that might be in his way.

After Kylo has cooled off, he’s going to come after you. This man is determined to hunt you down and keep you by his side, even if you don’t want it. Let’s be real here folks, Kylo’s love is toxic and unhealthy, especially if we’re talking about Force Awakens & Last Jedi Kylo Ren. This man will search the galaxy to find you again.

He’ll do it himself, too. He’s not leaving this task up to stormtroopers or to Hux. Kylo and his Knights are coming after you. Period.

When he does find you again, you put up a fight, but you’re no match for him. Kylo drags you back with him and confines you to a room. It’s comfortable, and you have everything you need, but you’re not allowed to leave.

Kylo visits you often, and in this, he is also calm—to a point. He insists you made the wrong choice, and is fairly reasonable about it. But of course, you push his buttons. Eventually, he fractures, and he’s more like the Kylo we see in the interrogation room with Rey. Kylo has patience, but it’s only for you.

This back-and-forth eventually implodes, coming to a head that only ends with the two of you reuniting physically.

It’s Kylo that acts first. He wants you, and he always wants you to stop talking for a few seconds. Which is why he grabs the back of your neck and draws you in for a kiss.

You don’t fight him. You melt into him, wrapping your arms around his neck. These first few kisses are all soft, and then quickly devolve into insistence.

Clothes are ripped away from bodies until it’s skin-against-skin.

Kylo needs to dominate here. He needs to establish that he’s the one in control and that you only want him.

He won’t force anything. Kylo will never cross that line.

Kylo will need verbal confirmation that you’re his. He might delay or even control your orgasm just to hear you say that you belong to him.

Kylo will make you beg, and won’t give you your end until he’s complete satisfied that you’re his again.

taglist:

@padawancat97 @foxxy-126 @glassgulls @km-ffluv @sweetbutpsychobutsweet

@singleteapot @garfunklevibes2012 @tiredmetalenthusiast @childofyuggoth @miaraei

@coffeecaketornado @kayden666 @cherryofdeath @enfppuff @ninman82

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@hantheconqueror

[tangents-within-tangents]

The Bad Batch as Penguins of Madagascar Quotes

Bc I’ve seen a few posts making this magnificent comparison and both of these squads are near and dear to my heart and bc I need a distraction from the s3 premiere ahhh

Tech: *mission relevant info* Hunter: Tell me something I don’t know! Tech: Without mucus your stomach would digest itself Hunter: … Hunter: Tell me something else I don’t know…something less disturbing

Hunter: (to Caleb) It's okay, kid. We're not going to hurt you Crosshair: *cocks his gun* Not true, Hunter, they did authorize lethal force

Wrecker: *absolutely decking his bros* You pillow fight like a bunch of little girls!

Crosshair: What part of "zip it" eludes you?! The "zip" or the "it"?!

Echo: I don't mind saying it, that guy vexes me. *narrows eyes* He's a vexer.

Hunter: Boys, no training tonight. It's game night! Tech: Trivia! Let's play trivia! I dominate trivia! Omega: Oh! Can we play Simon Says this week? Tech: Yes, Simon says we play TRIVIA!!

Crosshair: I find reason tedious and boring. We'll use force.

Echo: I'm sorry, boys. I sometimes resort to sarcasm when facing the unknown Tech: No doubt

Hunter: Oh I’ve seen accident prone, try Wrecker and Crosshair! With a Chandrilan lantern! And SIX BOTTLES of rocket fuel!! Tech: Worst talent show ever

Hunter: There's no such thing as too paranoid, Omega. Remember that, and forget you ever heard it!

Tech: SCIENCE! WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?!?

Omega: I have an idea! But I'm not sure how safe it is Wrecker: I like it already!

Crosshair: *while fighting* You cannot win, Hunter! I am fueled with a boiling hate! A raging fury! Hunter: And a babbling mouth! *slaps him*

Omega: No! I swore I’d never use my adorability as a weapon again, and I meant it!

Echo: Wrecker, cover Omega’s ears, I intend to use my angry words

Tech: This red line shows the frustration level of a really smart person forced to take orders from some dunder-brained boob. As you can see the frustration just keeps rising and rising and rising. I mean, why don't they put the smart guy in charge, huh? IT DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE! SOMETHING HAS GOT TO GIVE, PEOPLE! AM I THE ONLY ONE SEEING THIS?!

Wrecker and Omega: *run in making incomprehensible panicked noises* Hunter: Anyone catch that? Echo: *nonchalantly interprets it exactly* The Batch: … Echo: What? I’m fluent in panic

Tech: Cool cars go faster. That's a scientific fact.

Cody, in his one episode: I believe now I know why “volunteers” ends in “tears”

Hunter: No batcher gets left behind, that’s why! Wrecker: What about Crosshair? Hunter: Okay, one batcher gets left behind Omega: and Echo? Hunter: Maybe two batchers get left behind Tech: Um… Hunter: *groan* Comparatively few batchers get left behind, okay?!

Omega: I thought you agreed this was a dangerous weapon! Wrecker: Which is the best kind! What good is a safe weapon?! Tech: He has a point

Hunter: Avert your eyes, young Omega, you’ll never be able to unsee this! Tech, recording bc that’s his freaking hobby: Don’t worry about it I’ll burn you a dvd!

Crosshair: *standing outside the Marauder* Hunter! I have brought you a hand drawn greeting card! It says “Roses are red. Posies are green. Sorry about Bracca, I was too mean. Your pal, Crosshair” :) Hunter: *walks out and shreds the card*

Hunter: Get up here. That’s an order! Tech: *salutes* Permission to defy order? Hunter: Permission denied! Tech: Then I deny your denial (sorry)

Echo: *watching Hunter and Wrecker, captured and surrounded by stormtroopers* Well this hardly seems fair Echo: *jumps in a walker and defeats them easily* Told you it wasn't fair

*Phee and Tech kiss* Omega: *eyes being covered by Hunter* awww Wrecker: Finally!

[heartofaskywalkerprincessleia]

Luke Skywalker is a hero for people with anxiety

(Contains spoilers from Episodes 4-6).

A lot of people relate to Luke Skywalker. He's down-to-earth, honest, and always strives for the light. Watching Star Wars again for the first time in a while, however, I realized something. When I looked it up on the internet, I was surprised that I couldn't find a lot of discussions about it. What do I mean? That Luke Skywalker suffers from anxiety.

The deleted scene from Tosche station, which I recently saw for the first time, sheds some light on this aspect of Luke's character. In the scene, we learn from Luke's friends that he panics easily. They're all chiding him for ‘again’ thinking that the Empire is coming. Even though he's just seen Princess Leia's ship fighting with Darth Vader's ship, his friends begin gaslighting him.

Someone online pointed out that this scene causes Luke's statement “there's nothing left for me here, now” to be more forceful. Upon finding out that his Aunt and Uncle are dead, Luke doesn't go to his friends for help. You wonder what his friends thought upon hearing that Luke's family had been killed by stormtroopers, right after he'd tried to warn them.

This aspect of Luke's character, and how he is treated by his friends, conditions him to not ask for help. In the ESB, as he's dying on Hoth, he never calls for anyone. If Obi-Wan hadn't shown up, Luke wouldn't have started calling out to him. If he hadn't started shouting, Han Solo wouldn't have seen him. 

This trend continues. Luke panics about things, but doesn't ask for help. Yoda tries to help him, getting him to relax and clear his mind. But, the vision of his friends worries him too much. He makes light of Obi-Wan’s warning that the Empire is after him for his talents. Luke is still holding onto what he told Biggs in the deleted scene from Tosche station–that the Empire will never draft him. 

During the fight on Cloud City, Vader acknowledges that Luke has learned to control his fear. Remember, Luke canonically gets so scared of the Sand People that he faints in the first movie. There's almost a parallel of that first moment, as Vader knocks Luke down and holds his lightsaber to Luke's throat just like the Sand People knocked him down before.

Luke has always gotten through things on his own. But, at this moment, he loses his hand. Losing his hand is symbolic of Luke losing the ability to do everything on his own. His father, who he always idolized and held onto, is evil. He's alone. He realizes that everyone was trying to protect him from this reality. Even his aunt and uncle let him think that his father was a hero, because it helped Luke to hold on. 

He finally reaches out to Leia. He finally forms a real connection with someone, which requires being vulnerable, and overcoming his fear of not being taken seriously. And, Leia rescues him. 

In the ROTJ, Luke tells Obi-Wan that he can't do this alone. He starts working with Han and Leia, and realizing that he is actually important to them. He trusts Leia enough to tell her that she is his sister, and that he has to save their father. 

But, still, Luke is trying to do everything on his own. He goes to face his father, and tries to be calm. He tries to avoid becoming angry. He tries to control the anxiety that got him ridiculed by his friends. The anxiety that led him to destroy Vader in his vision during his training on Degobah. The anxiety that he sees as his greatest flaw. 

But, he panics. He goes after Vader, and cuts off his hand. And, that's when he realizes it. 

All his life, Luke has wanted to be like his father. He praised himself for the positive qualities that are like his father. Being a good pilot. Being a Jedi (before he knew that his father was Vader). But at this moment, Luke looks at Vader's mechanical hand, and realizes that his father is just like him. His father is anxious. His father was scared, and overwhelmed once, just like him. His father didn't have anyone to turn to. 

Luke stands up to the Emperor, but that isn't what causes this scene to be so powerful. It's the fact that, as Luke is dying, he says the words his father once desperately wanted to say to someone.

“Help me.” 

“Please, help me.”

And Anakin, who wished someone would help him, who told Luke that it was too late for him, realizes that he can be that person for someone else. The pain he's gone through his whole life doesn't have to be passed on. He can save his son from the same fate. And he does. 

That's why Luke Skywalker is a hero for people who suffer from anxiety. Because he shows us the importance of accepting ourselves. Of self-compassion. Of reaching out to others. Of not being afraid to ask for help when we need it. And, if we do, we might just be that little spark of hope that someone else needs. 

May the Force be with you, always.

[daftmooncretin]

rip to rian johnson but star wars sequels would be way better if ben solo was just kinda cowardly and han solo coded so he defected from the jedi and went to be a fun swashbuckling anarchist space cowboy instead

and finn and poe have to find him and try to convince him to come back to the rebellion but hes afraid who he is and what he could become

also instead of luke trying to kill his nephew for NO REASON (so insanely out of character it boils my blood) he just realises after ben dips thats hes not cut out for teaching. and is living on a mandalorian colony as rebellion liason/ambassador with chewie and sometimes lando i guess (din djarin is there) he aids the rebellion (because of course he would fuck that plotline) but he wont stay on the rebel base because he doesnt like all the chosen one clout and mandalorians are very chill and mind their own business

han and leia are still together and play active parts in the rebellion because fuck that plotline too although they do disagree about the ben situation (leia is annoyed and han is understanding) poe and ben childhood friends and for what.

in this au, rey is raised in the empire and is a sith lord but she has doubts and isnt as abjectly disgusting as kylo ren because of course not. (appears slightly too interested in the rebellion when poe is captured and maybe??? possibly lets finn and poe escape but thats up for debate.) rey gets more evil over course of movies before turning to light for plot drama and a satisfying zuko arc.

force awakens timeline

prophecy that a new jedi will rise and take down the dark side. rey and sith lord (dk who but fuck snoke im writing him out) assume it is the missing ben solo (its finn and rey tho fr) and are intent on finding him. movie opens on rey being evil probably and capturing poe. also finn as a character actully needs no real changes hes great. and then next scene space pirate ben solo doing his thing (but without identity revealed so we dont know who he is yet he may go by kylo because funny)

instead of luke poe has a lead on missing almost-jedi before he dipped ben solo and is searching for him on leias orders.(rebellion also believe the prophecy is about him. but nuh uh) torture scene and escape scene doesnt need to change but show reys nuances and how lost she is.

in the interest of narrative poe and finn still crash on tatooine but finn manages to pull poe out of the crash. (finn still gets the jacket at some point because i say so) poe is too injured to fly so they seek out help and and meet ben solo who saves them from pirates or something idk. (but neither know who the other is)

finn and poe convince ben solo to be their pilot still thinking hes a random smuggler named kylo. they get along very well, especially finn and ben. rey by this point is tracking their whereabouts

they end up on that lightsaber planet and ben gets the weird darth vader nightmare and freaks out, (hes afraid of being evil or something idk) poe is getting suspicious now also finn feels the force and takes up the lightsaber. rey comes and finn trys to hold her off. finn get hurt and drops lightsaber. ben is forced to take it up and his identity is revealed as rebel reeforcements led by han and leia arrive and they see him fighting. rey and ben have a weird charged moment (yes i guess i am still making reylo a thing but its reyben now and its woke so shh) and in a dramatic desperate effort he manages to knock her lightsaber away with the force. poe crawls into a plane at somepoint and blows up reys ship. the rebels destroy the stormtroopers but rey captures finn and escapes in a stolen ship.

ben has a oh-shit-i-said-id-never-use-the-force-again related existential crisis which makes him freak out and leaves. a distraught finn-less poe calls him a coward. poe picks up the discarded lightsaber and the jackettm and sadly packs them up. leia tells him about the starkiller and poe volunteers to go on the starkiller and save finn. han and leia have a sweet moment and han decides to go with poe on the suicide mission, chewie goes too.(chewie arrived at somepoint i guess)

mid hostage situation finn blocks reys force attempt and shes shook up. he sees something in her (finn is a beautiful sweetheart) and he trys to appeal to her. she force chokes him and books it out of there. but it is clear she fears him a little. he escapes with mind tricks and runs into han poe and chewie on the deck. finnpoe moment fr. poe gives him his jacket back in order to get the keep it it looks good on you line.

meanwhile ben is back on his ship(i guess its the falcon?) and he thinks about finn and his mom and luke or something.. a dream maybe?? idk something emotional and motivational for his arc. and he goes to a box under the floor in his ship and pulls out a green lightsaber. he turns the ship around.

on the ship poe finn han and chewie are planting the bombs and escaping when they get stopped by stormtroopers ordered by rey. poe is about to be shot by a big droid thing when it is cut in half by ben wow big reveal hes here oooo ah. rey is shot in the shoulder by chewie and angrily orders more stormtroopers. they cant take them all. han sacrifices himself by blowing up the bridge. he tells finn and poe to find luke in the mandolorian colony ben is distraught him and han have an emotional goodbye he tells him to tell leia he’s sorry and that he loves him and he proud of him then he makes chewy get ben out of there and he blows himself up. leia senses it v sad rip man but he had to die to intensify plot drama

rey chases them onto the ice planet and another weird charged moment. mind link established??? this time ben is too angry and grieving though so its not a good match and she wounds him real bad all over hes v scarred now. poe shoots at rey and throws lightsaber at finn. he gets ben onto the ship and finn and rey have the big force awakens show down. finn uses the force v powerful all that jazz the good guys get away. on the ship finn mentions how he felt a connection with rey to poe and claims he sees good in her

movie ends with meeting luke on mandolore. ben is very traumatised wont really speak to finn or poe and avoiding luke. finn returns lukes lightsaber and rey has doubts movie over. movies ends with ominous rey ben mind link

final notes (on first movie and overarching rewrite plans)

finn

finn is the protagonist of this movie so it would be much more character heavy on him them the original. more in depth on his stormtrooper trauma, how he always chooses the people he loves over the cause and his reluctance to join the rebellion. his friendship with poe and the han/leia parallel’s especially. relationships with han and ben important for his character exposition and he plays a key role in supporting both rey and bens character progression. possesses the strong sense of mercy and kindness at the heart of the star wars franchise.

rey

rey is raised in the first empire and does not know anything different. when she meets finn who was able to rebel and escape from the same system she is trapped in she becomes plagued by doubts and projects all of her hatred and resentment onto finn to compensate, but it is clear she fears him. to escape from her doubts she fixates on finding and capturing ben solo imagining him to be a frightening and terrible adversary. however when she meets him they see eachothers minds, and she sees how plagued by doubt and fear he is, how he runs from everything and he sees her too. they connect and develop a strange mutual fascination/understanding. this is put askew by finns appearance at the end of the movie in defence of ben. reys fear of finn increases when she sees the true extent of his power. she fears and hates equally finns strength of character and easy goodness and by extension hates ben for his alliance with finn. she blames finn for “taking” ben from her.

ben solo

kylo ren is a disgusting blight on the star wars names so ben solo is being completely reclaimed by me into a different character because i fucking hate that stupid pretentious eboy. instead ben solo is an incredibly han solo coded character with a heart of gold and deep love and loyalty to his friends and family. his main weakness as a character in this rewrite is his fear and lack of self belief. ben is terrified of being a jedi and of his own power. he fears his own nature and was so afraid he would become his grandfather that he ran from the jedi altogether. ben solo is a runner that wont face his problems, he runs from the jedi and from his parents to avoid failing or becoming something terrible. finn and ben recognise the need to run in eachother (although important distinction finn runs because he doesn’t want to fight for a cause. and ben runs because hes afraid he will be the reason the cause fails) and ultimately encourage eachother to break the cycle and stand their ground (well finn motivated ben in this movie, finns not fixed yet.) Bens arc in these movies is about learning to live with his own nature and fighting for what he believes in despite his fear. also dealing with mommy issues (ben is kind of jealous of poe and leias relationship the son she wanted or something blah blah blah etc) and being a malewife to his murder girlfriend. his job is kind of to support and fight with finn and later rey and help them save the world

finnpoe (will be a gay couple)

their friendship will be front and centre in these movies because they represent duty vs personal loyalty. poe puts the cause above all else and values his own life and personal relationships little. finn on the other hand is disillusioned with establishment cause of stormtrooper trauma and wants to protect himself and others from it. poe is the first person that finn truly bonds with and loves. he puts poe above everything, including being a jedi and the rebellion. this leads to a lot of fighting and discord between finn and poe as finn doesn’t understand how important the rebellion is to poe and poe doesnt get why finn is trying to protect him from it. ultimately though poe teaches finn faith and belief and finn teaches poe to accept love and value himself. (also many hanleia parallels) the two of them are the harbingers of a new age. poe as future leader of the new republic and finn as the jedi messiah or whatever. in terms of romance, im thinking slowburn. baity first movie, kiss at the end of the second and established relationship by the halfway mark of the third.

also when rey eventually joins the light in the beginning she refuses to talk to ben (cause of romantic drama i havent thought of yet but centres around some sort or betrayal in the second movie) or finn (because hes her narrative foil and slow burn best friend forever) so her first friend is poe and she kind of follows him around in her first few months before she eventually bonds with finn 4eva. her poe shadowing has lots of cute friend moments where they fly together and he tries to talk her down about finn and the ben drama but also more importantly it foreshadows her leadership ability and tactical mind as she gives him advice and aids him with the rebellion behind the scenes (also leads to leia taking rey under her wing probably because poe is her surrogate son and mirror) which will eventually lead to her and poe leading the republic together because in my mind rey is a jedi but actively a member of republic government because ben can’t do politics and finn won’t but shes great at it so she’d be a perfect jedi liason and vice president to poe. meanwhile finn and ben lead the jedi. finn as a knight travelling across the galaxy and ben as a teacher. (luke is happy in retirement rn on mandalore but leia is still probably an advisor in the republic because retirement is definitely not for her) and everyone is happy the end. force ghost han solo is clapping.

[miss-musings]

"You Should Be More Careful With Your Shooting Hand": Was There a Better Way to Address Crosshair's Hand Tremors?

In the weeks since The Bad Batch series finale, I've seen a lot of discussion about how the show handled Crosshair's PTSD, hand tremors and losing his hand to CX-2. I've seen some positive and some negative, and a lot of mixed thoughts.

So, I wanted to share my thoughts on it purely from a writing perspective. There are a lot of aspects of TBB Season 3 that could've been executed better -- *cough* CX-2 *cough* -- but I just want to focus on these ideas on paper.

Before we start: I want to state for the record that I do not have PTSD, nor am I any kind of authority on mental health conditions. I am commenting on this only from a writing perspective. If I happen to come across as insensitive, I apologize because that's not my intention.

So, let's set up the general scenario and look at a few options for tackling it, analyzing the pros and cons of each option.

An Overview of Crosshair's Hand Tremors in S3

From his very first appearance in Season 3, we see that Crosshair has a tremor in his right hand. It is implied to be a symptom of PTSD — or something akin to it in the Star Wars universe — related to being imprisoned and tortured on Tantiss.

His hand tremors impact his sharpshooting abilities during the Tantiss escape in 3.03, during the Lau shootout in 3.04 and during the confrontation with the Ice Wyrm in 3.05. However, he and his allies end up "winning the day" in all three episodes.

(His hand tremors don't seem to be a factor during the Bad Batch's showdown with Asajj Ventress in 3.09. Even if Crosshair had been at 100% against her, I doubt he would've done anything.)

It isn't until 3.07 that Crosshair's hand tremors have lasting negative consequences. As a result of not killing CX-2 during their first shootout in the spire, his group is endangered, Nemec dies and Crosshair nearly dies too.

However, the group manages to escape Teth, and I'd argue that everything in 3.11 probably would've played out the same regardless because Hemlock would’ve sent a different CX operative to Pabu instead. (Although I realize the characters don't know that.)

Crosshair's hand tremors persist through the rest of the series, seemingly getting worse as CF99 prepare to infiltrate Tantiss, until CX-2 cuts it off during the hangar fight in 3.15.

Now, let's analyze a few options for how this could've played out. Again, we're just looking at each one on paper, not in execution.

Option A: The Version We Got

Let's call the canon version Option A.

In this version, Crosshair has tremors in his right hand throughout Season 3, and the only real negative consequence is that CX-2 is alive post-3.07.

In 3.11, Crosshair misses the shot to track Omega to Tantiss. However, it's not because of his hand tremors. It's because of the timing. He was about to shoot when stormtroopers found him on the Sea Wall, and by the time he took the shot — which, why was he running anyway? — it was too late. The ship pulled away at the last second and the tracker fell in the water.

Skipping ahead to 3.15, Crosshair and his brothers are infiltrating Tantiss to rescue Omega and the other prisoners.

There's a mounting sense of dread in the hangar fight: the CX operatives show up; Hunter is knocked unconscious; and Wrecker is attacked. As the dark climax/conclusion for the hangar fight and as the payoff to their one-sided rivalry, CX-2 decides to cut off Crosshair's shooting hand.

The entire hangar fight, but especially this moment of CX-2 attacking Crosshair and preparing to cut off his hand, is probably the darkest moment in the entire finale. This is underscored by the next two scenes: In a moment of morbid humor/dramatic irony, Omega notes that the blaster fire is over and leads the other kids to the hangar; and then Echo sees his defeated brothers being carted away to Hemlock's lab.

Crosshair's amputation then adds tension to the final confrontation with Hemlock, as now he's down a hand in general and his dominant hand at that.

So, let's look at the pros and cons of Option A (the version we got):

PROS: Payoff to the one-sided rivalry with CX-2; a dark conclusion to the hangar fight; additional tension in the final confrontation with Hemlock; playing into Star Wars tropes and drawing parallels between Crosshair and other characters who've lost hands/limbs, namely Anakin Skywalker

(EDIT: This ScreenRant article also argues that Crosshair losing his hand severs his connection to Tantiss and "marks a turning point toward redemption and a brighter future." So, make of that what you will.)

CONS: Admittedly this is being reductive, but Option A could feel like the amputation essentially "solves" Crosshair's hand tremors and/or PTSD, which is definitely not how it works. It could also be a very careless way to tackle such a heavy subject matter, especially for those who suffer from PTSD and see themselves in Crosshair. (As I'll talk about more in a second, this is something YouTuber SheevTalks discussed in his TBB Season 3 review.)

Option B: Crosshair Keeps His Hand in the Finale

This is the version that I saw YouTuber SheevTalks and some other folks on social media champion. (Note: feel free to watch his TBB Season 3 review, but just know that I DO NOT agree with all of his takes about the season or the show in general.)

Essentially, everything with Crosshair's hand tremors plays out the same way up until 3.11. In this version, he misses the shot to track Omega's ship because of the hand tremors, not because of the timing.

This would add greater tension in the episodes leading up to the finale, because failing to track CX-2's ship would be an immediate and direct consequence of his hand tremors. With the exception of CX-2 surviving 3.07, we haven't had anything like this in Season 3.

It would also directly contribute to Crosshair feeling that he failed Omega (and his brothers) because of his hand tremors and add to his insecurity that he's not the capable sharpshooter he used to be anymore.

This version would have him keep his hand through the finale. That way, in the final confrontation with Hemlock, he has to battle against his hand tremors and self-doubt to save Omega. But, unlike in 3.11, this time he would be doing it with his family's physical and emotional support.

As SheevTalks argues, there are a lot of positives to this version:

PROS: a greater narrative through line and payoff for Crosshair's PTSD/hand tremors throughout Season 3; a greater emphasis on the importance of family, love and community in addressing mental health needs; Crosshair gets to keep his hand!

However, under Option B, there would also be some drawbacks and several things that would need to be addressed:

CONS: Without CX-2 cutting off Crosshair's hand in the hangar fight, we'd need some equally high-stakes conclusion AND have some kind of payoff for CX-2's rivalry with Crosshair.

Crosshair needs to sustain some kind of injury in the fight. It'd need to be 1) survivable 2) as severe and dark as losing his dominant hand and 3) add to the tension during the final confrontation with Hemlock.

CX-2 couldn't just knock Crosshair out, because then Crosshair would essentially be in the same physical state post-hangar fight as he would be pre-hangar fight. Yes, there would be additional tension in the confrontation with Hemlock because he'd have to overcome his hand tremors, but we still need some other way to conclude the hangar fight.

I've wracked my brain trying to think of ideas, and I can't come up with anything that would be as dark but survivable as getting his hand cut off — as terrible as that sounds.

I mean Wrecker gets shot in the leg later in the finale and Echo gets stabbed in the back/shoulder, and neither wound is ever addressed again. So, we'd need something much worse than either of those, but still survivable.

Plus, as I've discussed before, CX-2 is a petty bitch who definitely had a grudge against Crosshair. Cutting off his shooting hand kind of makes sense in a dark and twisted way.

One more con I'll mention is that, being reductive again, people could argue that Crosshair overcoming his PTSD/hand tremors through "the power of love" or "the power of friendship" might be cliché. But, as I'll talk about more in a bit, I don't really have a problem with that.

*****

Now, looking at Options A and B, neither is perfect. Both of them have problems, even just on paper.

So, I wonder: is there a way we can combine the two so we have the best of both worlds?

Allow me to introduce:

Option C: Crosshair Has Tremors in Both Hands

In this version, we'd set up very early in Season 3 that Crosshair has tremors in BOTH hands. Maybe his tremors are more severe in his right hand, because he uses it more; or maybe because it's his dominant hand, it's more noticeable. It doesn't really matter.

Pretty much everything in Season 3 would happen the same way, up until 3.11, when — just like Option B — Crosshair misses the shot on Pabu because of his hand tremors not because of the timing.

Then, in the 3.15 hangar fight, CX-2 still cuts off his right hand so we have payoff for their one-sided rivalry and have our dark, high-stakes conclusion to the hangar fight.

So, by the time we get to the final confrontation with Hemlock, we have double the tension because Crosshair is missing his dominant hand AND he has tremors in his left hand too.

(Side note: Because S3 canon makes it clear that Crosshair's tremors are ONLY in his right hand, I wondered why he didn't start shooting his pistol leftie as a way to compensate. As we see in 3.15, his aim was fine, and we know he can shoot leftie pretty well from S1-2.)

Option C would also make it clear to the audience that Crosshair's PTSD/hand tremors are not "solved" simply because he got his hand cut off, which would be a problem with Option A.

So, under this scenario, we combine most of the pros for both Options A and B:

PROS: Payoff to the one-sided rivalry with CX-2; a dark climax for the hangar fight; additional tension to the final confrontation with Hemlock; playing into Star Wars tropes and drawing parallels between Crosshair and other characters who've lost hands/limbs, namely Anakin Skywalker; a greater narrative through line and payoff for Crosshair's PTSD/hand tremors throughout Season 3; a greater emphasis on the importance of family, love and community in addressing mental health needs

CONS:

Under Option C, I really can't think of any new downsides.

The only one I can see is people complaining that Crosshair overcoming his PTSD/hand tremors through the "power of love" is cliche. But, as I said, I don't have a problem with that.

If we're going to be reductive about PTSD and its symptoms — with hand tremors being only one of many possible symptoms — I would much rather be reductive in a positive way. He's able to briefly overcome his hand tremors in a moment of need because he has his family's physical and emotional support. That's a far cry from "His PTSD/hand tremors are now solved!"

(EDIT: You can make the case that this also happened in the canon version. While I agree that Crosshair only made that shot in 3.15 bc he had his family’s support, I still don’t think the resolution to his PTSD/hand tremors plot line was well-executed.)

As I said I'm not an authority in mental health, but what I do know is that feeling mentally and emotionally supported, having a group of family and/or friends you can trust and confide in, and generally just having a sense of community are major factors to improving one's mental health.

Throughout Season 3, we see Crosshair wanting to deal with his hand tremors (and likely his PTSD in general) by himself. But, his family help him address it and begin the healing process.

Hunter to Omega in 3.08: See if you can convince (Crosshair) to get his hand looked at. Ignoring it won't make the problem go away. Omega to Crosshair in 3.08: Just because there's nothing AZI can do, doesn't mean your hand can't get better. Maybe you're the one who has to fix it. Omega later in 3.08: It's meditation. It'll help you heal. Not just your hand, but your mind too.

So, yeah, if we're going to be reductive about something as heavy and complex as PTSD and mental health in general, I would much rather emphasize "the power of love/friendship/family" than whatever the alternative is. Even if it's cliché.

Honestly, I think Option C would've been the best option of the three I've discussed. There are a few other possibilities I've considered — like what if CX-2 knew about Crosshair's hand tremors from their time together on Tantiss and CX-2 cut off his left hand in the hangar fight??? — but I think we'd ultimately end up covering a lot of the same ground.

However, these are all my opinions. I'm interested to hear everyone's take on this. Feel free to comment/reblog with your thoughts.

[breakfastteatime]

Today's Fallen Order request is "Don't move" for @highbrasshighkass:

The sorry sound of BD’s warble tugs at Cal’s heart. “Don’t move, BD,” he says, trying to contain his own panic. “It’s going to be okay.”

BD believes in him with every single circuit in his frame, however he’d also really, really like Cal to figure this out a little quicker, because BD’s boosters are dead and the ground beneath him is very, very shaky, and if he falls into the river, he’ll be washed away into the sea, lost forever in the depths.

“That’s not happening.” Cal carefully works his way down the tree trunk, testing each limb before transferring all his weight. Unlike the trees on Kashyyyk, their Zeffo counterparts are scraggly and thin-limbed, and Cal doesn’t trust them to hold him, especially as he works his way down the cliff. But if he doesn’t get BD off that crumbling ledge soon, his friend really will be lost forever. Cal hasn’t felt the loss of his abilities this keenly in a while. If only he could pull BD to him. And if wishes were Venators, they’d all fly. “I’m nearly there.”

BD beeps apologetically. It’s enough to send some more clumps of soil tumbling into the river.

“Don’t move, and don’t talk,” Cal advises. “It’s okay. The stormtrooper who hurt you is history.”

BD stays still and silent.

Closer. Closer… Cal places his boot on a branch poking out the cliff and feels it dip, hears it crack. He curses under his breath. If BD falls, he can slow him –

Just like Prauf

– and then he’d just have to dive, grab him, and hope he can fight the current enough to get them back to dry land. He really doesn’t relish the idea of such icy waters, but he’ll do it for BD. They’ll just have to make a fire, dry out, then carry onto the next tomb.

Finally, he’s close enough to reach out and pluck BD off the crumbling ledge. He leans, leans, leans –

The root he’s clinging to gives. Cal cries out as he drops, only for his fall to stop when the root catches. He doesn’t hesitate, grabbing BD and pulling him close, just as the ledge crumbles to nothing, rocks falling into the racing river below. Cal pulls BD close. “I got you, buddy,” he says, swallowing hard against the crush of emotion. If anyone asks, it’s the icy wind making his eyes tear up. “Can you hold on?”

Another sorry beep from BD. That shock baton the trooper caught him with mid-scan really fried his systems.

“Not a problem.” One-handed climb it is. He tucks BD against his chest with his left arm and carefully scrambles his way up the cliff. By the time they’re on solid land, Cal’s right shoulder burns. He says nothing as he sits down, BD in his lap. “Will a system reboot help?”

It will, but it will take some time.

“Okay, I’ll get us someplace safe.” Cal looks around. They’re too far from the Mantis to go back, but they could take shelter in that crashed Venator, out of the weather and away from any patrols, before carrying on. “Let’s go.”

BD whistles with joy. And then, calmer, he thanks Cal for saving him.

“Anytime, buddy,” Cal says. “You’ve done the same for me so many times.”

And please don’t scare me like that again, Cal wants to say but instead settles for giving BD a pat on the head while holding him just that little bit tighter.

[goosewriting]

I have an inq!cal thought!

Reader and cal both having a crush on the other when they were both on the mantis and just when they finally admit it to the other and get together something happens and cal is presumed to be dead but actually he’s been captured by the empire and turned into an inquisitor and then during a mission reader is on she runs into cal 👀

And like it could be a good ending OR Cal’s conditioning wins and he kisses reader as he runs them through after reader says they can’t fight him and like uh I am very partial to the angst ending

The Bad Ending

summary: years after thinking Cal is dead, reader meets him again as an Inquisitor. 

relationship: inquisitor!Cal Kestis x gn!reader

warnings: mention of character death, also actual character death (ahem, you, ahem), yummy angst

word count: 3k

A/N: i too, am very partial to the angst ending so, bon appetit 😌 no but seriously this has been sitting in my wips for FAR too long, i really loved this idea so i hope i made it justice! thank you sm for requesting and the patience dearest anon<3

(english is not my first language. constructive criticism and grammar corrections are very appreciated!)

— — —

Somewhere in the Outer Rim, it’s early dawn on a small, often overlooked planet. The first rays of sun hit your face as you’re helping a fellow resistance fighter in loading a truck with some supplies, and it makes you squint. You stop your motions to block the light with your hand held to your forehead, and for a split second, you see a head of red hair in the corner of your eye. Your body reacts on its own, immediately turning and craning your neck to find him. But it’s a false alarm, obviously. The ginger human gives you a weird look as you’re staring, then shrugs their shoulders and keeps walking. 

Heaving a sigh, you load the last of the crates, shaking your head at yourself in embarrassment. It’s already been years since you last saw him. Since you saw any of them. The crew of the Stinger Mantis.

You can’t help the small smile on your face when you think back to everything that you went through together. All the adventures, the missions…the sneaking out. Stolen glances here and there, lingering touches that may have meant something more, making the most of every moment because you knew it could be the last. Except that you didn’t actually believe that. All of you knew how risky the missions were, aware of the dangers that seemed to loom around every corner. But you hoped to, wanted to spend the rest of your life with him. None of you was invincible, you knew that. But to think that he would just be… gone. It still stings. 

When retrieving the Holocron on Bogano, the Second Sister confronted Cal in the vault, except that you never saw him come out. By then, the Stormtroopers had overrun the place, so you had to leave. But you came back, multiple times, searching for him. Every time unsuccessful. 

At some point, you came to terms with the fact that she had probably killed him in the vault, a place you couldn’t access as you’re not Force sensitive. The thought of Cal being in there, bleeding out, alone, BD probably also dismantled by the Imperials… The thought makes you shiver to this day.

Losing Cal took a toll on everyone, and it didn’t take long for the Mantis crew to split up after that. Cere took it particularly badly, blaming herself for the failures, both with Trilla and Cal. Ever since then, you’ve never seen or heard of either Cere or Greez again. So you were on your own. 

You’ve been lying low, helping out more from behind the scenes instead of getting into the action like back then. But you can’t deny the fact that you miss Cal every single day. Despite knowing that you’ll never see him again, you can’t help but wonder “what if”. Back then, you two had something going on. You were actually planning on confessing to him after you safely got off Bogano with the Holocron. But those plans were cut short by one very grumpy Inquisitor. You still regret not having told him sooner, as you were fairly certain he felt the same way. To this day, you still dream with Cal at night, picturing what life would be like if he was there with you.

Shaking your head to focus on the task at hand, you look down at the fruit you’ve been holding in your hand. You were so lost in thought, you didn’t even notice that the loaded truck was long gone, and your feet brought you to the city market. The vendor at the stall you’re standing at looks at you suspiciously, so you shoot them a quick smile and put the fruit back into the basket, then stroll to the next stand.

Focusing back on the task at hand, you force yourself to shove the painful memories aside to make room for a mental plan. The rebellion is growing every day, and that means the amount of mouths to feed is increasing as well, so you’re to get provisions at the market. Other supplies like tools and machinery parts were sent off just earlier. The food you’d bring yourself to a hidden spot where your contact told you they’d pick it up. You just have to find a way to smuggle it all out of there unseen by the imperial troops, who walk around the place in regular patrols.

You actually have your suspicions that your contact is either a Jedi themselves, or someone who’s working closely with one, as there’s been rumours here and there about someone with mystic powers having arrived in the village. No matter if they’re true or not, you really hope the rumours will settle down quickly, as it will undoubtedly attract unwanted attention.

After you’re done with your shopping spree, you look at your haul, which occupies several large crates. You grimace slightly, as it’s more than you anticipated. Maybe you can ask that one farmer who owes you a favour if you can borrow his cart, since you can’t carry all of this on your speeder. Getting your holopad out of your satchel, you double-check the drop-off place, and conclude that hiding the crates there will be quick work. The problem is the cart itself; hopefully with enough hay you’ll be able to cover them all to go by unnoticed. 

So that’s exactly what you do. The farmer is more than happy to help, and you feel a little bad knowing that you’re about to leave his cart at the pick-up spot, then tell him that there was an accident and it broke down, getting swept away by the river which conveniently ends in a waterfall not far away. You’ll pay him for the cart of course, but even so… you’re essentially lying to his face. While in this case, the end does justify the means, this part of the job still doesn’t get any easier for you. 

It’s the same afternoon when you’re loading up the cart. The animal pulling it is tame and knows you, so you bring some extra treats for her. Once you’re done putting on the harness and hiding your crates, you head out. It’s a sunny day, and except for the occasional bleating, the clicking of your tongue and the clinking of the reins, there's not much else. 

The air is calm, and you allow yourself to hum a little tune to yourself. As you arrive at a narrow passage between two walls of stone that leads into the valley, the path turns a sharp corner and you can’t really see ahead. Only once you fully turn are you able to take in the image before you, and your blood runs cold in your veins. Not far in front of you, there’s a shuttle parked on the road, blocking your way, and half a dozen Stormtroopers stand with their loaded weapons. You pull on the reins, wanting to turn her around, but as you look behind you, you see more troopers blocking the other way as well.

You bring the cart to a halt instead and turn back to the front, reaching for the blaster under your seat, when from behind the shuttle you see two dark figures appear: an Inquisitor, followed by a Purge Trooper. The latter approaches you in quick strides, pointing one of the two electrobatons at you.

“Get down,” comes his modulated but demanding voice through the helmet.

You hesitate for a second, unsure of what to do. Biting the inside of your cheek, you quickly analyse the situation, concluding that while you certainly can't take on all troopers alone, let alone an Inquisitor, maybe you can make a run for it towards the thicker vegetation. You just have to make it back past the narrow passage you just came from.

“I said get down!” the Purge Trooper barks, clearly annoyed. 

“Alright, alright,” you finally respond.

You motion to stand up, as if you’re pushing yourself off your seat with your hands, but instead get your rifle from underneath and, from your elevated position, you shoot the trooper right between the shoulder and chest plates of is armour. 

He falls down to the ground with a groan, and you jump off the wagon, making a run for it. You know your rifle can penetrate the normal Stormtrooper armour, so you shoot the ones that had appeared behind you, hitting each one twice, and push past them.

You don’t look back despite hearing the other troopers closing in on you, and you duck as they shoot at you. But you know their aim is not the best, so you keep going, your lungs burning at the sudden effort. You’re just passing the treeline when something knocks you over; you seem to trip over air as you fall face first to the ground, hard. You barely manage to let go of your rifle to brace yourself, and you roll a couple of times from the speed you were coming at.

Everything spins for a moment, and you reach out to grab your weapon and keep going, but an invisible force keeps you pinned to the ground on your back. You groan in frustration and confusion, looking up to see the troopers now gathered around you aiming their blasters at you, yet not firing. They all take a step back to let the Inquisitor walk through, and you give them the best glare you can muster.

The red visor glistens, the sun reflecting on it, as they tilt their head to the side while looking at you. Then comes the modulated voice, calling your name. Not just your name, but your nickname, the one only one person ever used for you. One that you were certain you’d never hear again.

You let out a shuddering breath as you watch in horror how the Inquisitor takes off the helmet, dislodging it with a hiss, to reveal the face underneath. 

“So we meet again, after all these years,” Cal says, running his free hand through his hair, looking down at you with a sour face. “After you left me for dead.”

Your mind is reeling, unable to comprehend the situation.

“I- You-” you stumble over your words. “We didn’t leave you. We thought you were dead. We looked for you!”

He gives you a half-hearted chuckle.

“Not well enough, it seems…” he retorts. “Yeah, well, the crew never was much anyway. I work better, alone, after all.”

“You know that’s not true”, you say in a small voice, your body finally catching up to the situation, starting to shiver.

He extends his hand towards you, and you find yourself being lifted off the ground and to your feet, but slowly pushed backwards into the forest.

“Leave us,” he orders without breaking eye contact with you, and the troopers obey, putting some distance between you and them. For every step Cal walks towards you, you take one back, and after a few moments you’re surrounded by vegetation, out of sight and earshot from the others. Only then does he let go of you, and you stand there for a second, looking at each other. 

Then the quiet tension becomes almost unbearable. There's so much you want to tell him, ask him. What happened in the vault? Did he ever come looking for you? Even if you never got to tell him yourself, does he know how you felt about him?

“I don’t know if it means anything to you anymore,” you finally break the silence. “But I missed you.”

He doesn’t answer, instead continuing to look at you with this unreadable, almost bored expression.

“Are you going to kill me?” you decide to ask instead, fearing the answer. 

“If you stand in my way, I might have to,” he replies, and your heart drops. “You’re not my target, though.”

“Then who is?” Your gaze falls to the ground.

“There’s been reports of a Jedi in the village,” Cal says, taking a careful step towards you. Your eyes snap back up to his, stopping him in his tracks.

“So that’s what you do now? Hunt Jedis?” You don’t try to hide the hurt in your voice.

He merely raises a brow at you, as if the answer to that is obvious. It is. 

“And you're okay with that?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You were a Jedi once, too.”

“Technically, I never got knighted, so no,” he retorts with a hint of a sadistic smile.

You scoff.

“But Cere would have done it sooner or later, I’m sure…”

At the mention of the name, Cal frowns.

“Yet she didn’t,” he states coldly. He looks up into the trees with a deep breath, then picks some imaginary lint off his uniform, his face relaxing back into the nothingness from before. His eyes snap back up to meet yours as he stands still. “And she won’t.”

“W-what do you mean by that,” you ask, horrified. “Is she…”

Again, he doesn’t answer.

“D-did you…”

You see his jaw tense up, and your body runs cold, colder.

“Cal, what have you done,” you breathe, barely audible, and bring your hands up to hide your face. You can feel the tears prickling at the back of your eyes, and you try your best to hold them back.

“I only did what must be done,” he answers matter-of-factly, then takes a step towards you, but you take a quick one back. He stops again. “So what were you planning on doing, exactly? Run away?”

You shift uncomfortably.

“I would have found you either way, just like I did now.”

“I thought I wasn’t your target,” you retort. 

“And you aren’t,” he assures you. “But after finding out you’re here, I just wanted… to see you.”

“Why,” you mutter, not really meant as a question. “After all this time. Not like this.”

He takes another slow step towards you, and this time you don't have it in you to back away. Your tears are running freely now, rolling down your cheeks as you hold back a sob. Now standing right in front of you, Cal lets go of his helmet, which falls onto the grass with a soft thud. His gloved hands come up to cup your face, his thumb swiping away a tear over your cheekbone.

“I missed you,” he says in a small voice that doesn’t really fit with his current image.

“And I missed you,” you choke out, placing your hands over his. “So, so much.”

You look into his eyes, now a fiery yellow, and the sight is so unfamiliar, so cold, that you can’t hold his gaze for long, and it falls back down, but you don’t want to look at his black armour either, so you look to the side instead. Your hands still hold his in place, though.

“I really thought you were dead, Cal, but this…” you manage to say after taking several shaky breaths. “An Inquisitor… This is no way to live. It’s not you. We can escape together. Start over. Whatever they did to you, we’ll undo it layer by layer. Please.”

“I’m afraid that's not possible,” he says, dropping one hand while the other moves from your cheek to your chin, making you look at him, and he studies your face for a moment. “But I can’t let you go either. You're working with the resistance fighters, aren't you.”

“I- I’m continuing where we left off, just in a different way.”

“So you are working with the Jedi, and as such against the Empire.”

His hand goes to the back of your neck, holding you in place, and a strange panic starts to settle in your limbs as you realise you can’t move away from his hold. Cal is so close now that you can feel his breath fanning over your cheek.

“If I let you go, will you shoot me?” he asks in a low voice.

You want to scoff, but it’s more of a teary-eyed huff.

“I could never, Cal. I- I loved you,” you tilt up your face to properly look him in the eyes. “I never stopped loving you. I still do.”

He tilts his head ever so slightly to the side, his brows furrowing, then scrunching upwards in the middle, as if he just remembered something painful.

“So do I,” he whispers. 

You let out a sob, broken-hearted. All this time. All this time and he felt the same, was alive. But now he’s… an Inquisitor. A killing machine, fed by his own pain and anger, a tool used by the Empire to eradicate any remaining traces of hopefulness that people still might harbour.

“I can’t fight you,” he finally says.

“Neither can I,” you assure him.

Then he leans in, kissing you hard, and your mind is reeling. He holds you in place with the hand at your nape, your own coming up to hold his face. He kisses you like he’s making up for lost time, pouring his very being into it, and you reciprocate.

Somewhere in your mind, the metallic clink and the pressure against your side got registered, but with the kiss, it’s too much input to make sense of anything else. 

Cal breaks the kiss and pulls back just enough to look you in the eyes, and you see a single tear rolling down his cheek.

“But I can’t let you go either,” he whispers against your lips, voice breaking, and before you can ask what he means, you not only hear his lightsabre igniting, you feel it. 

Your mouth opens in a silent scream. Within a split second, your upper body feels on fire, and a sharp, unbearable pain prevents you from breathing or thinking straight. You hear your own flesh sizzle as Cal retracts his weapon after running it through you. Even though your legs give in, he holds your full weight, embracing you, and slowly kneels down, bringing you down with him gently.

“C-Cal,” you gasp for air as your lungs burn quite literally, everything around you getting blurry.

“I’m sorry,” he says over and over, caressing your cheek softly as he kisses you again. 

With your last effort, your hand comes up to hold his, but it goes limp before it can do so, falling onto the ground. Cal cries into your shoulder, holding your limp body for a long time, until it turns cold.

~~~~~

🐥 taglist: [link to join in my pinned post!] @DyByNyght, @galaxtic-writings, @kalea-bane, @soka-writes-things, @Padawancat97, @Riddikulus-Obsessions, @optimisticprime3, @starilicious, @ivelostmyabilitytoeven, @alternatescififandomelover, @lovelyygirl8, @cathyket, @wildefire, @ghostkestis

[leviathanspain]

i just saw your guidelines , thank you!! sorry it flew right over my head, i appreciate you for directing me to the page when you responded :D

i have two ideas but you may choose which one interests you the most!! thank you again so much, i love your writing <3

would like a kylo ren x reader please, pronouns can be whatever you'd like but i prefer she/her. the point of view is up to you! i prefer second but i think you prefer third and/or first and i don't mind either or!

the first idea is kylo and y/n have been together for two years but it was kept within the first order and not public because kylo knew people (like the resistance) might use it against him. maybe during a fight between the first order and the resistance on a planet, y/n would get kidnapped by the resistance. this was finn's idea because he knows kylo has a significant other. what the resistance does with y/n is up to you, whether it be to lead kylo into some sort of trap, or to get information out of her, a mix of both... it's all up to you! finn knows that she's his only weakness. eventually kylo will save her. bonus points if she's in rough shape and in bad physical condition. kylo gets really upset because he thinks he’s doing a bad job keeping her safe and that he failed to protect her. angsty , self-loathing kylo but y/n trying to make him feel better.

the other idea has a bit of angst aspects as well but less action. it’s been about half a year or maybe even a year of kylo and y/n dating. everyone knows of his anger issues and tantrums. not even stormtroopers will want to be within 10 feet of him when he’s having an “episode”. the only person who would go up to him is y/n. one time kylo was so upset that he didn’t think before acting. when y/n went to calm him down he hurt her. nothing too physically harming , it hurt more emotionally than it did physically. maybe he yelled at her a lot and said things he didn’t mean , he could do anything. then she gets super upset and runs off to their shared quarters. he ends up finding her crying.

he’s never seen her cry or show weakness before.

you can pick one of the two!! thank you so much again and please , if these topics aren’t interesting , please tell me <3

stargirl

kylo ren x reader

synopsis: in your captivity, all you can think about is him, in love and in hate

a/n: anything in italics is a past memory, and i just combined the two into one, so i hope you like it!!

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

you had wondered when you’d be interrogated. it was inevitable, you had been through enough war and fighting to know that whenever someone was kidnapped and held captive, they would be interrogated.

you had done it before, multiple times.

you couldn’t say that you hated it. the only dark part of your morality let you love what you’ve done. of course, having the pleased eye of kylo ren staring at you was also the encouragement you needed whenever you felt doubts.

the door had opened unexpectedly, you could hear the woosh, and immediately you closed your eyes in anger, “what is it?” you heard the footsteps of heavy boots, most likely a trooper or a knight.

you turned around and saw the opposing figure of one of the knights of ren. you raised your eyebrow and the knight cleared their throat, “master ren has been acting strange,” again they cleared their throat, anxiety waved off of them, “he’s been..” they trailed off and you inhaled slightly.

the knight exhaled, their shoulders dropping with relief at your reaction. this was nothing new. kylo had his fits of rage or tantrums where he was practically inconsolable.

after working with him so closely and developing more than just a friendship, you were well versed in the game of calming down kylo.

you waved the knight away, “i will be right there.” the knight nodded, gave a respectful bow and walked off.

there was a loud slam against your cell that awoke you. the pathetic excuse for a blanket fell of your shoulders as you sat up, wiping your eyes as you heard the cell door creak open, “let’s go.” a hand came up to your arms and pulled you up onto your feet. you would protest, but you stayed silent, keeping a calm face. but the man’s fingers dug into your arm, making it hard for you not to cry out.

you were hauled out of the cell and practically dragged to another room, nearly as small as the cell, you were pushed inside, made to sit at one of the only two chairs in the room.

you looked around, there was no sign of the rest of the resistance members. perhaps they were hiding their prisoners away from the others, obviously on purpo-

“you can stop trying to figure out where everyone else is.” he was tall, a younger looking man, his face whispered familiarity.

he pulled the chair out opposite of yours and sat down carefully, his eyes grazing over your face. you looked at him, not willing to break eye contact.

he smiled hard, almost menacingly, “isn’t this odd? we’ve met, many times before..i know you, but you don’t know me..” he trailed off, “y/n.”

your name peeked your attention. hardly anyone outside of the order knew your first name. only kylo, a few officers, and the knights knew your true name. but you were always referred to as iza’re, or iza’re ren.

you narrowed your eyes at the man, “get to the point. what do you want from the first order?” you were getting bored, and if this is how it’s going to be, you needed to cut it short.

“you don’t know who i am?” the man looked surprised to see you so nonchalant. as if your true name was supposed to be the key to everything.

you shrugged again, leaning your elbows on the table, you got close to his face, “you say that like i’m supposed to care. i won’t repeat myself again,” you hissed, “what do you want from the first order?”

“get out. all of you!” kylo ren’s anger exhibited itself in his voice, a large hand outstretched itself towards the door, the metal door heaved open with the force and the rest of the troopers filed out, quickly as can be.

fn-2187 stared at kylo ren. even under his mask, he could just imagine his expression. fn-2187 knew that the moment you had walked in, that this wasn’t going to end well.

he followed the rest of the troopers out to the hallway. there was a large window that allowed people to see in, and fn-2187 had walked slow so that he could end up in front of the window.

“you need to calm down.” you had been talking to kylo through the force the entire way here. he was being stubborn, unresponsive to your usual tactics, you realized that maybe this wouldn’t be like other times.

“kylo.” you called his name, his back was turned to you and you were dying in the silence.

“why can’t you ever just stay out of it?” kylo turned around on his heel, the dark fabric of his cape followed him, and he began to stalk towards you, “hmm? why do you always think that you can save the day? you’re pathetic. a pathetic excuse for a force user, a pathetic excuse for a soldier of the first order..” he listed off all your weaknesses in a cruel list, “i cant stand to look at you. you make me fucking sick.” he had stopped you cold against the wall. even just arms length away from you, you could feel the rage, feel the truth to his feelings radiate off of him.

you wanted to cry. right then and there, you wanted to ball yourself up and sob on the floor.

but you scrunched your face slightly, as if not to lose the nerve, “find me when you’re done being an asshole.” you didn’t even look at him as you stalked past him, glancing at the open window towards the troopers, who were all facing away from the window.

except for one.

“what do you mean you ‘think’? we’ve been holding her for days and you’ve been in there for hours, and that’s what you’ve come up with?” poe had been overseeing the interrogation, and it was clear that it was going nowhere.

“threatening to blow up starkiller base would get us somewhere if we actually could.” poe rubbed his face, the feeling of a headache was coming on.

“why can’t we?” finn stared at poe, and poe laughed, realizing that finn was being serious.

“are you sure it’s her? it couldn’t be someone else? another trooper, perhaps?” poe looked at finn, who sighed, “she’s the only one i’ve ever seen that close to ren. it’s gotta be her.”

kylo hadn’t thought to apologize. but you had been ignoring him for days, even going as far as having stormtroopers deliver messages.

he had had enough when he had tried to talk to you through the force, and felt nothing in response.

“are you done?” the sound of the metal door opening had you turning your neck to see kylo ren, helmet off, hair dishelved, stalking in.

he set his helmet down on your dining table and kicked his shoes off, “i asked you something.” he stared down at you, his eyes searching you for something back.

“really?” you come in here after the way you talked to me a few days ago and expect us to be fine?” you looked up from your data log and stood up, “you yelled at me, tore me apart, called me pathetic many times over-“

“i’m sorry.” kylo interrupted you, and his face softened. this was utterly unlike him.

“what?” your own voice sounded distant and you blinked. a hand flew to your chest to feel the beating heart inside, “did you just-“

“yes. i am sorry.” kylo walked over to you, and watched as your face broke, tears spilling as you walked into his arms.

silence and the sounds of your sniffles filled the room. all that you ever wanted from him was an apology, and he had finally done it.

“i swear to you,” kylo broke the silence, the quiet was drowned out by his husky voice, “that i will never do that to you again.”

“and you caught them..?” poe’s eyebrows knitted together with confusion. his pilot uniform jacket hung on the chair beside him, as he paced the room, “let’s rewind,”

finn nodded, and poe sighed, “you were sent down to give her a message,”

“it had something to do with the knights.” finn had tried to remember what exactly the message was about but it had been nearly two years since then.

“and instead kylo ren answered the door?” poe repeated the events and finn nodded. “are you sure it wasn’t his quarters and you’re just an idiot?”

finn’s expression fell and he rolled his eyes, “stormtroopers are supposed to know. it was her quarters, her name was in a blazing plaque outside the door.”

a knock at the door had interrupted you. kylo had stripped off his clothes, leaving only the thick black sweatpants on, but even then, they hung dangerously low on him.

you, on the other hand, barely had anything on.

“fuck.” you cursed, and stuffed whatever shirt you could find off the floor. just by the scent of it, you knew it was kylo’s, but you still shrugged it on. you got off the bed, trying to find some shoes but kylo grabbed your arm, “i’ll get it.”

he was already getting up, and even with your protests, it was too late.

“master ren!” the robotic voice of a trooper met your ears and you cringed. troopers talked, and this was definitely something to talk about. there was an exchange of words between the trooper and kylo, until finally, “you are dismissed, fn-2187.”

“that’s kind of hot, no?” poe had been staring a little too long at the wall, clearly imagining what finn had described.

finn’s face turned into a picture of disgust, “there is something wrong with you.”

“iza’re to starkiller base. iza’re to base, does anyone copy?” you were falling, and fast.

the resistance had been chasing you for almost an hour. you had tried to lose them in some astroid graveyard but they were on your ass, until they shot your ship.

“fuck! someone! iza’re to base!” your hands clutched at the controls as you felt your chest rise and fall with fear.

kylo was right. you should have never gone off alone.

“kylo! im just off the astroid chunks by naboo.” just as you had finished telling your location, the ships power shut off, and you felt yourself blackout as the ship began to fall harder.

kylo had them playback your voice. over and over again.

the fear in your voice had been seared into his mind for days. he had tried to reach you over the force but was met with nothing. the usual thrum of your power would at least let him know you were alive. but he felt sick when he felt nothing.

“and no one heard this until when?” kylo looked around at the table filled with officers and military personnel. they all had this look of stupidity on their faces that made kylo want to knock them all out cold.

“this morning-“ a staff spoke up, “we believe she was taken by the resistance.”

kylo’s hands smashed against the table, “this morning?! find her!” he yelled at the officers. he raised his hands and suddenly they were all clutching at their throats, “find her now or i will murder every single one of you until someone does.”

“she’s loyal.” rey had observed, watching you through the glass, she wondered if you could see them all, gawking at you.

“of course she is. she’s sleeping with the supreme leader of the first order.” poe commented, rolling his eyes slightly, “i say we just lie.”

finn turned towards poe, “didn’t you just say that we shouldn’t lie? you got all mad-“

poe shrugged, “i was a different person then. say that ren is dead, and the first order is ashes-“

“oh like she’ll believe that-“ finn replied sarcastically. he had his hands on his hips and stared at you.

you were looking off into the distance, totally unaware of them on the other side staring at you.

“she’ll know. you said she’s a force user, correct?” rey peered at you and finn nodded, “yes. why?”

“she’ll know we’re lying. she probably also knows that we can see her,” you turned suddenly, meeting their eyes, “-right through this glass..” rey trailed off, and poe whistled lowly.

“wow. this is embarrassing…” poe laughed nervously. finn laughed, patting his friends shoulder as he walked off.

kylo was close. he hadn’t realized until now that it was the distance muffling your power. he could feel you, a quiet thrum in his head, he knew you were close.

“kill anything and everyone. i don’t care- just get her out alive.” his instructions were incredibly clear to the knights and troopers. he wanted you more than he wanted the resistance gone.

“so..” he had been trying to get you to talk for almost thirty minutes now. unlike his friend, this one seemed to be a little dull. “what’s between you and ren?”

you raised your head, and narrowed your gaze, “you mean my superior, the supreme leader kylo ren?” you were so serious that poe had to think about it before nodding weakly.

“nothing. bring me the trooper. fn-2187, is it? at least he knew what kind of questions to ask..” you waved a hand, dismissively towards the man and turned away, hoping he would leave.

“oh my god.” poe let the words escape as he shut the door behind him, “i don’t know what he sees in her-“ he looked at finn, “she’s asking for you. like specifically for you.” he raised his eyebrows at finn, who laughed in shock.

rey looked at the men, “don’t tell me you’re going to go in there.” she held up a hand to finn and he shrugged, “what else should we do?”

rey sighed, “give her up? she’s clearly nobody to ren, maybe finn was wrong.”

kylo ren had blown up half of the resistance base. he had felt nothing as he did so, and nothing more as he stepped off his ship, and hauled ass to wherever the hell you were.

he tried to use his own force powers to try and locate you, cutting down anyone that tried to fight him.

but it was worth nothing. nothing drove kylo ren more than you, and he would find you even if it killed him.

the argument between poe and finn had barely lasted before the emergency alarm had gone off. shouts echoed down the hall and they all began to run.

troopers were all over the place, blasters were shooting at everyone and they knew this was kylo.

“maybe finn was right..” rey looked at the men with a sheepish smile, and finn rolled his eyes, “get down!” he shouted at rey, who just barely ducked the blast that was shot towards her.

“if it’s him then shouldn’t someone go fend him off?” finn stared at poe and rey, as if waiting for one of them to volunteer.

poe shrugged, “i don’t think she’s worth it. barely talked.” finn didn’t even bother arguing when rey began to agree.

you could hear the sounds of a fight through the door. you couldn’t see through the glass window, but you could just imagine it.

the door opened and you half expected to see one of the two guys who had been interrogating you. but instead there he was.

wearing his usual all black, kylo cut down the room and immediately opened his arms, pulling you into them. “y/n..oh y/n.” there was a sigh of relief as you wrapped your arms around him.

you were crying.

this entire time you had forced yourself not to cry, not to show emotion. perhaps you had saved it for this moment. “kylo.” his name rolled off your tongue, “im sorry.”

kylo shook his head, “don’t. it’s all my fault. i should’ve just gone out there with you.” he scolded himself, shaking his head as he thought back to what he could’ve done.

“no. don’t. you always do that, you take responsibility for a decision i made.” you hugged him even tighter, “don’t. okay. just don’t.”

kylo didn’t even protest, he just held you all the more tighter in his arms.

[imabeautifulbutterfly]

Hi Mimi!!!!!!! So excited for your celebration!!!! Congrats on the followers!!!!!

I'm asking for my beloved Sergeant, naturally XD Here's some prompts!

"Don't sign to me in that tone."

"Do that again, and I'll throw you out the window. Wait, what are you doing?" "Checking how high the drop is; seeing if it's worth it."

"Don't go where I can't follow...please, I need you."

@dragonrider9905 Ahhhhh! I was so excited to see your request. You always give me such awesome requests.

I really hope you like this, I left it open ended for you.

Love oo

Don't Go

Warning: Injury, bantering, bickering, blaster fire, almost getting shot, flirting, angst, I think that's it, let me know if I miss anything.

Italics - flashback

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Hunter sat beside your cot, holding your hand, pressing your fingers to his lips. Tech was busy focusing on the scanner, and trying to understand the readout. He got up and moved to the communication station, Hunter could sense his uneasiness, Tech’s sweat doubled in the last few seconds. Something must be wrong. 

His eyes fell back on your face, it looked so different from what it usually was. Where was the smile that was always on your lips? Where was the glimmering sparkle in your eyes? He couldn’t see it with your eyelids closed. 

‘Are you sure this is the way?’ You teasingly signed to Hunter as you both climbed your way around the side of the hotel towards the Ambassador’s suite. 

Hunter focused his eyes back on your sleeping form, was that the last time he saw that sparkling smile? No. That wasn’t it. 

‘Yes, I’m sure. Focus.’ Hunter signed back exasperated and rather rudely.

You pulled your head back a little, giving him a look that said, no you didn’t, and it took all his strength not to laugh when you signed ‘Don’t sign to me in that tone.’

Was that the last time you made him laugh? It couldn’t be. That couldn’t be the last time. He reached his hand out and gently caressed your forehead and cheek, “Wake up, cyar’ika. Please.”

When did everything go wrong? Was it because Cid had given them the wrong information again? Or was it when you threw him out of the way narrowly missing the blaster fire from the stormtroopers?

Hunter landed with a thud, his back slamming into the wall, your weight falling on top of him, knocking the air of his lungs. It took him a second longer than it should’ve to gain his breath back. Both of you were returning fire, and when one stormtrooper fell, two more took its place. You were both trapped, in the Ambassador’s study, when Tech commed, saying he found a hidden elevator. Within seconds a bookcase slid to the side and the elevator opened up. 

A few minutes later, you were both on the roof of the building waiting for Tech to swing by to pick you both up. 

Hunter paced back and forth shaking his head, “You’re reckless.”

“Excuse me? I believe the appropriate response is, ‘thank you, sweetheart, for saving my life,’ not, ‘you’re reckless.’” You shifted, shaking your head, as you saw the storm troopers down below calling for reinforcements. “Tech better hurry, we don’t have much time.”

“You don’t get it, do you?”

You looked over to Hunter, “Get what?”

“You do that again, and I’ll throw you out the window.” He watched as you leaned over the edge of the building, he grabbed your arm, “Wait. What are you doing?” 

You smiled, “Just checking how high the drop is; seeing if it’s worth it.”

He shook his head, a smile slowly creeping onto his lips, as much as he wanted to fight you, he couldn’t help but love you more, he cupped your cheeks, pulling you into a kiss, “You’re going to be the death of me.”

“Probably, but it’ll be a fun ride.” You teased him, smiling against his lips.

You both pulled away when you heard the engines from the Marauder, Hunter forced you to clip on to the winch first, as soon as you were lifted off the ground, he clipped himself on to the second winch, as Wrecker started the winch. 

In a split second that Hunter replayed over and over again in his head, wishing things had been different, he saw the blaster fire, fly past him and hit you in your chest. He screamed, turning to fire on the trooper who had taken an aim at you. Both he and Wrecker fired rapidly, as Omega pulled you from the ramp. 

After that everything moved too fast and not fast enough. Wrecker picked you up like you weighed nothing and laid you on your bunk. Hunter closed the ramp and Tech entered hyperspace, faster than he had ever moved the ship. 

And now, things were what they were. 

Hunter sat there watching your chest slowly rise and lower, the oxygen mask strapped to your face helping you breathe. The bacta patch on your chest didn’t seem to be helping much, aside from slowly healing the wound. 

He leaned closer, pressing his forehead against yours, his eyes closed as he breathed in your scent. 

“Cyare, hang in there. Please, I can’t …” he cleared his throat, fighting back the warm bubble that was creeping up his throat, “Tech’s taking the ship to a medical way station that’s been abandoned since the war, he says there should be a surgery room, equipment and maybe supplies. So hang in there. Please.” 

He reached up and wiped away the tear that had escaped, he pressed his lips to your temple, “Cyare,” he whispered, “Don’t go where I can’t follow … please, I need you, baby.” 

Tears were streaming down his face, he couldn’t lose you, not when he finally found his peace. His rock. His home. 

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[weixuldo]

Allow me// ch 14

Vader x Reader

a/n: so sorry for the delayyy rahhh i’ve been traveling for the holidays!! i’ve been cranking stuff out tho so dw!!! i’ve been working on enigma, allow me, and line cook ani pt 2 heheh also unconditionally epilogue// also words in font like this means vader is using the force to speak- not his normal voice

How much longer will it be before you hear from Lord Vader again? is he safe? is he alright?

warnings: cursing, angst, harm, medical procedures, cannon typical violence

_____________________

After what seemed like days of stumbling around fighting off any enemy he came against, Vader finally obtained a ship. It wasn’t much, but at least he was able to jump start it. As soon as he got the engine going- he set in coordinates for Hoth. 

He was absolutely exhausted in every way someone could be; mentally, physically, emotionally… Not only did his broken body ache, but his mind raced with thoughts of what his master would do next if he were to defy him. Would he really be replaced? 

As he flew the small ship towards the icy system, the failure of his suit became increasingly evident. After using so much energy and power from the force to fend off bounty hunters and fight opponents (all while his suit was damaged and with makeshift limbs), he was so completely exhausted that he could barely stay conscious as he drifted through space. 

The flesh parts of his legs throbbed uncomfortably- the makeshift prosthetics weren't made to cushion his walk so he was putting too much pressure on his poor stumps. He desperately wanted to put the ship on auto pilot but sadly, it did not have that feature.

So he begrudgingly adjusted himself in the pilot seat and desperately tried to stay awake. 

___________________________________

Your anxiety was through the roof the past few days; not only had you heard nothing from Vader or when he would return, but the Emperor seemed as if he were observing you much more closely now. 

Thankfully you had finished your main tasks for the day and retired to your quarters earlier than normal (not that that really meant anything special. You were still just going to overthink).

You laid down and observed the same ceiling you had been looking at for months, only this time you were worried about Vader. 

You pleaded with the force that he was ok and would return safely. You would rejoice once you knew he was safe and finally with you again. Would he feel the same about you?

____________________________________

The sight of his docked ship took an enormous weight off of Vader’s chest; he was back. He would no longer have to wonder how he’d get back or have to worry about conserving his energy. 

He landed the ship as best as he could, but it was a rough landing; he had to opt for a landing in the snow. Once the ship was powered off, he slowly pulled himself out of the cockpit. 

The freezing temperatures of the frigid planet whipped at his exposed skin and made his metal joints creaky. He was shutting down. His legs were barely able to hold his weight anymore- he was completely drained.

Even though he wanted so desperately to call to you through the force, he just couldn’t muster the energy. 

Before he knew it, his world went black and he was left lying, face down, in the thick layers of snow. 

Thankfully some stormtroopers saw his bumpy landing and came to check out the commotion. Without them he would not have made it back. 

“Uhhh- You might wanna take a look at this” one of the white armor clad men said to the other. 

“Lord Vader?!”

“Yea…. we should probably get him inside” another chimed in. 

“Right away! We need to get him to the med chamber”

_______________________________________

You had taken a stroll around the living quarters to try to get your mind off of things (it wasn’t working), sadly everything in the damn ship just screamed Vader- it was his ship, after all. 

As you walked the halls, a large group of troopers marched down the hall opposite to you.

They seemed rushed- their matters must have been important. 

You thought nothing of it initially (There was always some drill or task they were running around to complete), but you froze when you heard it. 

“Lord Vader is back”

“Really? Where is he?” a second asked. 

“We’re pretty sure he's in the med bay- probably being checked for wounds” the first added. 

You didn’t need to hear anymore, before you were off.

You rushed to the med bay where he was being held for assessment by the medical droids and Vanee.

You punched in the security code and swiped your card quicker than you ever had before and breathlessly entered the dark room. 

You didn’t expect to see a pillar of light in the middle of the pitch black room; once your eyes adjusted you realized the pillar was actually a large bacta tank… with a limbless figure strung up in the middle, a sight you had never seen. 

As you squinted you realized you recognized that face- it was Vader in there.

Was he injured so badly as to lose the rest of his limbs? No- you looked closer and his amputations seemed to be old wounds- you knew he had some prosthetics, but you didn’t realize he had lost all of them. 

He floated in the healing liquid, only suspended by a black harness. The slight movement of the water softly carried his body up and down.

You observed more and noticed how muscular he was, his shoulders were just as broad even outside the suit. As much as you wanted to linger your gaze on his body, you felt that it was not the time to marvel at his impressive physique.

You began to walk forward to get a better look at his injuries when a pale faced man ran at you; “Get out! Do not dare disturb the Lord as he heals!” the elder screamed at you, which caused Vader to weakly open an eye. 

Once he saw that it was you he panicked for a moment- he didn’t want you to see him like this… he wasn’t ready.

Surely you were frightened of him now, surely you couldn’t hold him in the same regard as you did before. 

A look of worry found itself onto your face as you saw Vader’s scared face, but soon the pale man started getting violent with you.

He pulled, pushed, and even began to scratch you with his long nails but you wouldn’t budge, you needed to make sure Vader was ok. 

Vanee, Stop.

What was that?

The pale man ceased his attack and stepped aside, “but my lord, she is-”

Let her be and leave us.

Vader was speaking through the force. 

Vanee nodded and scurried out of the dark room. 

Once it was just you and Vader left, you walked towards the glass tube and rested your palms against the cool surface. 

“V? Are you going to be ok?” you asked with a  small voice. 

I will be, i’m so sorry

both of his eyes were open now.

“Sorry for what V?” What was he talking about?

I didn’t want you to see me like this

You were no medic so all you could offer Vader was your company and support as he endured a painful recovery process.

“Oh, Vader… please do not worry about that- I want you to focus on healing” you said softly as you pressed a gentle hand on the glass of the tank. 

You felt a warm sensation wash over you and embraced the familiar force signature of the Sith; he was connecting with you the only way he could. 

Thank you

_____________________________

You stayed by Vader’s side until he was done with his soak; the two of you were silent for the most part- for you it was just comforting to be in his presence once more. 

Near the end he opened up about the past few days in small bits (you probably wouldn’t ever get the full story).

He briefly explained why his master sought to punish him and to you, it was an impossibly stupid reason. 

You were disgusted by the Emperor- he tortured Vader for teaming with someone he thought fit to be an ally. Then Palpatine went so far as to destroy Vader’s prosthetics and dump him back onto the shores that once scarred him all those years ago.

If Vader weren’t as strong as he is… he surely would have died. 

Palpatine is a cruel man. 

W-would you help me lie down?

“I would rather you help me than the droids,” he admitted in his modulated voice.

You nodded and walked closer to the glass.  

“Press that button and lift that switch” he guided you towards an operating panel that would drain his tank. 

Once you had that done you went to search for some towels to dry him off with. He was left hanging from his harness with an embarrassed feeling.

The glass tube retreated below the floor and he was gently lowered to the platform; you laid a soft towel down and had another in your hands as you received his tired body. 

You guided his body into your lap and held him in your arms once he was finally released from the suspending cords that attached to the harness around his torso.

He was so light in your arms compared to what you had expected; he was muscular, but the more you thought about it, he only had a torso, a head, and four stumps. 

He allowed you to assist him to the steel examination table in the next room over. You could tell he was ashamed of his body and inability to do basic tasks in his state, but you quietly reminded him that you only wanted to help. 

“Would you like me to unbuckle your harness? Or do you just want to keep it on, I assume you’ll be going back in the tank soon” You offered softly.

To your surprise, he shook his head- “No, my master won't allow me to soak again today until much later. Are you sure you would be comfortable touching… me?” He added the last part in pity. 

You scowled at his master’s instructions, but your eyes softened when you answered him, “Vader, I have pledged myself to you, have I not?”.

“Y-yes?” he replied softly.

“Then you have nothing to worry about- You have nothing to be ashamed of,” you said.

Your words seemed to relax him slightly and he exhaled shakily before shutting his eyes.

You stayed by his calming him, helping apply cooling creams to his new burns, and helping him with the oxygen mask.

It hurt to see the one you loved in such a crestfallen state, but at least he was alive. 

Once he was a bit more stable he spoke again.

“thank you, proceed”. 

The ends of his limbs had metal ports that looked warped; to your best knowledge they must have been welded to another type of metal and then had to be cut off. 

You jumped a little when you saw Vader begin to move his scarred legs from you; he refused to meet your gaze. 

“It’s alright- I’m just examining your ports- I may be able to design new ones for you since these ones definitely won’t be able to connect to your new legs” you said in an attempt to quell his worries. 

His eyes relaxed and he began to blink slowly again. 

Thank you

He was speaking through the force again; his energy must have been depleting. 

“No need to thank me V. I would do anything for you” you smiled softly before leaning in to kiss his temple. 

_______________________

You worked on crafting new ports for Vader’s prosthetics to attach as he rested; you offered to leave and work in the workshop, but he insisted (more like begged) you to stay with him.

You had the transport droid he gifted you, bringing up the materials and your toolkit so you could start working as you sat with him. 

Though, Vader did sense the surrounding area first to make sure Palpatine wouldn’t make a surprise visit- having you in his chambers would not be a good scene for the emperor to see. 

You knew if Palpatine was so cruel as to make Vader relive his past trauma and suffering, he would definitely have no problems involving you in a nefarious scheme to get Vader to react in a certain way. It was beyond fucked up.

Soon you had finished his arm’s ports and walked over to the bed you laid him on.

His eyes were closed and a few tubes carrying nutrients and oxygen peeked from under the covers you placed over him. 

You could hear his damaged throat rasping with every breath he took; you wanted nothing more than to take all of his pain away.

This was the longest you had ever seen him out of his suit and the only time you had ever seen his whole body. 

He was covered head to thigh in poorly healed scars and new burns from his most recent brush with the unforgiving lava planet.

His chest and back had a few unnatural ports for his suit to connect his life support to, but other than that he was flesh (except for his organs, of course). 

But sadly you would have to wake him from his slumber soon since he was supposed to be back to his duties in two days ...The Emperor heartlessly expected an impossibly speedy recovery- obviously that was just an outrageous request, but Vader couldn’t protest. 

You knew the wounds that littered his face had been “healed” for years, but as you went to brush his forehead you hesitated.

Should you be touching him without his permission?

Seeing him outside of his suit seemed like you were gazing upon something sacred. Something you shouldn't.

Gently you placed a gentle hand on his cheek and waited for him to open his eyes. You bit your lip before placing your other hand on his other cheek. 

“Vader,” you whispered.

Still nothing. 

Slowly and carefully, you leaned down to place a tender kiss on his scarred forehead- that woke him up. 

His yellow eyes opened abruptly-but when he felt it was you, he closed them once more. The next time he opened them, his eyes were the cerulean blue you had been chasing since the first time you saw them. 

He let his guard down when he was with you. 

You smiled at the man and gave him another peck. You pressurized the chamber so that he could be without the uncomfortable mask.

Gently you lifted his head and took the hard device off of his face.

“Vader, I have your arm ports and arms ready for you- The arm’s are just temporary, but I assumed you’d rather have some for now instead of none at all,” you explained softly. 

He gave you a long blink to indicate his agreement before his brow bone furrowed and looked towards the cold table that stood in the harsh lighting only a few feet away. 

“We do have to go there so that the doids can remove your warped ports” you said solemnly. 

You knew he hated procedures, but he also knew they were a necessity. His chest rose and fell before he indicated he was ready. 

“I could carry you over- or I can get the transpor-”

“Transport” his voice rang through the force. 

You figured so. 

He wasn’t quite comfortable being that vulnerable and you could understand that. You nodded, started up the pod, and left the room so he could complete the transfer in peace.

You felt the vibrations when he called for your return and promptly entered once more. 

Vader was now lying uncomfortably on the sterile silver table; only his boxers covered his lower half. You stepped into the light and took out the tools that would be used to remove his broken ports. 

This too had two options; you could take them off of him quicker than a droid could, but then you would be the one causing him pain- or it could take longer and hurt more, but a droid would be doing it.

Vader also knew this and could sense your dilemma. 

You.

You sucked in a breath- you really didn’t want to do this, but it would cause him less pain (even if it didn’t seem to). 

You shakily nodded and picked up the instrument that would be used to pry off his damaged port.

The process was simple, use a small beam to cut around the port to loosen it up and then use an instrument to pry the warped metal off.

The beam would be painful without numbing medicine (which Palpatine removed all of…), so Vader would have to endure the pain full throttle. Once again you cursed the pale man. 

Thankfully you had a spur of the moment idea- you called for a small droid to collect some snow and ice from the banks of Hoth (where you were still stationed).  

Vader looked at you curiously. 

“There’s no numbing cream here and I don’t want you to feel the sting so I’m going to numb your arm with ice water”. 

His eyes widened and he managed a small smile, “Thank you”

You nodded, “Of course, but it will be uncomfortable to put your arm in the water” you explained to which he simply nodded. 

Once the droid returned and you prepared the ice bath, you helped Vader to the edge of the table so that you could submerge his stump. 

“On three; one, two, three…” you counted before pushing his warped ligament into the freezing water. 

His body lurched and he gasped as the frigid sensation coarse through his arm. You bit your lip to steady yourself, his arm needed to stay completely submerged for the numbing to work. 

“I’m sorry V” you said as his muscles twitched all over his scarred body. 

Soon time was up and you quickly pulled out his arm, dried it off, and grabbed the precision laser. You put on some goggles and began to outline the end of his stump. As you rounded the port you could smell a mix of heated metal and flesh. 

Even so often you glanced up to see his face, thankfully he really had no reaction and nothing in his force signature indicated pain- your method was working. 

The port was completely cut and you began to pry it off. You hated the feeling of his skin being used as leverage to pull his cybernetic part off.

Once the metallic connector was off, his stump was simply irritated, scarred flesh with screw slots to hold his ports in place. 

His stump was warm to the touch so you decided to cool him in water once more (just to be safe).

In only a few more minutes his new port was secured and you helped put his temporary prosthetic on. 

He tested the limb with great relief. 

“Was that ok?” you asked worriedly. 

He nodded and caressed your cheek with his new arm; to which you leaned over the table to kiss him. 

________________________

You finished up the other arm before you stopped for the day- he didn’t really need his legs done until tomorrow and you weren’t going to be able to do those since they were literally welded into his flesh from how close he was to the lava. 

So once you cleaned everything up, and got him back into bed, you took your seat once more. Your eyes felt heavy as you sat back in the stiff chair; just as you were drifting off to sleep you heard a weak voice. 

Was that Vader?

No- it wasn’t the normal modulated voice you had come to love, but it also wasn’t the familiar voice of his force signature. 

“W-wil you…” 

There it was again! You promptly rose to your feet and surveyed the dark room.

“Who’s there?” you demanded.

Soon you felt a weak pull towards Vader’s bed… it was him- it was his voice. 

You knelt by his bedside and took a metallic hand in yours. Never had he sounded so weak.

His vocal chords were completely damaged, he could barely speak above a whisper, and it sounded painful to speak. 

“P-please..” he attempted before a coughing fit attacked him. 

You brushed his face and cooed, “shh-shh, Don’t speak- I’m right here. It’s ok”. 

He swallowed with great effort before conveying his request, “Lie with m-me… Please-”.

“Are you sure, I don’t wanna worsen your injuries-”

He shook his head and beckoned you once more. Looking at his desperate face, how could you refuse. Carefully you lifted the covers and entered the bed with caution; once you were under the covers he quickly pulled you closer to him, making you gasp. 

Once the shock wore off, you relaxed in his arms and began to drift off. 

_________________________

Vader’s burns stung with every movement, but nothing could stop him from hugging you close.

He wanted nothing more than to stay with you like this forever.

He was exhausted, but somehow having you here kept him invigorated. 

He found himself pressing his scarred lips to your temple as you dozed off in his mechanical arms. Once you were fast asleep, he couldn’t pull his gaze away from your beautiful face. 

Maker… What were you doing to him? 

He was falling in love-

No, he was in love. 

Everything about you lit up his world; your smile, your sweet voice, your soft touch, your intelligence, your passion… just you. 

He could imagine a future where you and him ruled the galaxy, side by side. 

Or

One where the two of you left everything behind and completely started over. 

Either way he knew he would be happy because he knew that as long as he was with you, everything would be alright. 

***

a/n: i love love love whump :) as u can see hahah- i hope this chapter was good and sorry again for the delay 😭 thanks for the support:)

taglist: @vadersassistant @sxoulohvn @khaleesihavilliard @kashasenpai @darling-murdock @beautifulbearpolice @salvatoresister1 @lune-de-miel-au-paradis @blueninjablade3 @jujuba096 @missmannequin @jellydodger @mirastark @wyvernthekriger r @duckyhowls @monada43 @lauriidoesstuff @vienettacream @ray-rook @itswhatever06 @ilovenielperry

[ser-rctslcyer]

Pairing: Poe Dameron x GN! Reader  Word Count: 2.3k Synopsis: Poe takes a much needed break during his mission, but he comes across his crush on an assignment on their own. Warnings: Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Crushes, Flirting, Banter, Developing Relationship, Poe Dameron is Bad at Feelings A/N: I’ve missed this flyboy very much and have been dying for some banter with him.

Poe rolled his neck, once and then twice again, sighing at every little pop until his shoulders felt a little less tight. Once he felt somewhat better, he hopped out of his ship and let out BB-8. He loved his X-Wing more than anything, but it was tiresome whenever he hit parts where he was just flying for nearly weeks on end. Thankfully he finally found somewhat of a safe planet to be on and he’d be damned if he didn’t give himself a moment to stretch out his legs before the next big push. His mission was greatly important after all and would change the fate of The Resistance. 

For right now though, he needed a break. 

Casually he walked through the inner city, keeping a pretty neutral expression as he looked around. It seemed the locals were all preparing for a festival of some sort as smiles and laughter could be heard from everyone. He looked for signs where he could get something to drink, lucking out as he rounded the corner to the sight of a bar. As he got to the bar table, he ordered something light; carefully observing his surroundings before enjoying himself. He had barely had a third of his drink when he caught sight of a familiar jacket passing by. 

‘What are you doing out here?’ his brows furrowed as he tracked you until finally you were out of sight. BB-8 buzzed, a teasing tone, somehow knowing who he saw, and Poe rolled his eyes. He downed the rest of it as quickly as possible and paid, before bolting out the building. When he arrived at the spot, he peered around until he saw you again and a smile fluttered across his lips. By all means it wasn’t rare to run across another rebel during missions but in this case, it was a very welcomed surprise. He wouldn’t be half as happy as he was right now if it was not you; his crush. He straightened out his shirt, tugged at his jacket, and then cleared his throat. He approached cautiously, coming around the side so you’d catch him in your peripheral since your gaze was focused elsewhere. 

“You know, I’m pretty sure you could’ve finished that fruit several bites ago,” he commented, and your eyes turned to him; filled with intent, they relaxed as you recognized him. “Unless you're preoccupied with something else?” he softly hinted, catching the stormtroopers you had been staring at as he looked back at you.

“If it isn’t you, Dameron. Isn’t this sector a little too far for you to be out here?” you raised your brow questioningly, taking an extra cheeky small bite with a grin. His heart hammered in his chest as he grinned back, turning to face you fully. 

“Eh, you know how I am. I prefer the much more complex route to my assignments,” he shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest to keep himself from fidgeting with his jacket coat. 

“Trust me, I’m pretty sure the entire resistance is aware of that,” you trailed off with a soft chuckle and Poe couldn’t help but beam. He always enjoyed the laughs he’d somehow manage to get out of you even though you were both on two different squads. He had been quite bothersome trying to get information out of others about you without sounding like a complete creep. The fact you knew something of him besides his rank, made his crush on you grow even bigger. 

“So how’s your mission going?”

“Pretty easy for now, started with a bit of a blaster fight but I managed to smooth things out,” you finish the last of your food before leaning against the wall; your focus all the way on him. “How about you?”

“I haven’t gotten to see nearly as much action as you yet, it’s been pretty simple so far.” he sighed, trying to play it cool. 

“I’m sure you’ll find a way to make it a little tougher for yourself,” you nudged him and Poe could’ve sworn his heart had skipped a beat. 

“You flatter me,” he responded slyly, nudging you back which made you laugh again. Maker, if only he could hear that noise every day. 

“As everyone does, I’m sure,” your eyes briefly leave his, as if you were somewhat saddened by your own words. It was silent, the noises from everyone else filling in the room between the both of you. 

“This is just a pit stop,” he added quickly, looking back at you.

“Oh really?”  

“Yeah, don’t you know this place has some of the most beautiful fireworks you’ll ever see in this sector?” he gestured to all the decorations around you, the feeling of joy lay thick in the air between you both. 

“No, I didn’t,” you glance around the street before looking back at him. “Though if you have a moment whenever you're done oogling fireworks, I could use your assistance?” you inquire with a little knowing looking. 

“I’ve got time,” he tipped his head, gesturing for you to lead the way. 

“So when you said you needed my assistance,” Poe kept his focus forward, adjusting his grip on his blaster before glancing back, “you meant you just need my droid?” He watched as  BB-8’s scomp link sped up the process on your datapad, as you kneeled tapping away a different encryptions. 

“Well yes, but also I do appreciate the extra bit of company,” you threw a wink back at him and Poe rolled his eyes, turning away before you could catch his idiotic grin. Right on time, his droid chimed in; jabbing at his feelings again by exposing how mopey he got when he went on long missions alone. “See even BB knows, it can be lonely traveling alone for missions.”

“And you appreciate having a lookout,” he added, waving his blast behind him for a moment before resuming position. Though he was being a bit snarky, he was going to make sure he did his part; the last thing he was going to have was you mad at him. 

“C’mon, how could I turn down our best pilot for some help?” you argued, tapping a little faster before your pad began again. “You’ve got sharper eyes than most of us.”

“I’m perfect, I know,” he spoke confidently, turning around to wink at you.

“Damn right.” you cheered quietly and Poe felt his cheeks heat up. He shook his head of thoughts, keeping a careful eye for any movement or noise. It wasn't too long before he heard a familiar mechanical click from his droid.  

“Got it,” he turned just in time to see you giving a thumbs-up to his droid which BB reciprocated, rolling in a little happy circle of his own. He gave a once over to the rest of the building, catching sight of no one close before he went to look what your prize. 

“And what exactly do you have?”

“Plans, list, everything the First Order has right now, that they’ve been using to keep tabs on in this sector.”

“Shit.”

“You tell me,” you smile widely, and Poe wished he could’ve bent down and kissed you there. He watched as you pulled out a different tablet and began transferring data.

“You’re gonna put it back?”

“Once this is all copied, I’m going to upload this,” you wave the other drive you had in your satchel. “It’s a simple little virus, so any copies they will try to make will seem like nothing more than a hardware crash.”

“Look at you, The Resistance’s best hacker,” he commended, watching you look away with a smile. Just like you said, the copied load and then you put in your virus, both swift and it was easy to put back in place. You both made sure everything was secure and put back into place so that no suspicion would be drawn. He made sure to watch your back as you led him through your exit strategy until it came time to leave the premises, that’s when you stopped. 

“Maker, there’s more stormtroopers than before,” you groaned, crouching lower to make sure you wouldn’t be caught as you observed your surroundings.

“Probably the festival goers pushed them all back in,” he added and you let out a disgruntled sigh. The two of you looked for some sort of opening when his eyes caught something and he nudged you. 

“I have an idea.”

“What?”

“Follow me,” he slowly made his way to the opposite side of the platform, ducking behind crates and other such things. He stopped at the edge, perfectly hidden behind a stack of barrels before climbing upward and pulling down some of the stray decorations that dangled close by. When climbed back down he could see the confusion in your eyes as he handed you a bundle of streamers, lights, and other such decorations

“Throw’em over you,” he began putting some over himself and then over BB while you stood there in shock.

“Poe?”

“You just have to trust me, sweetheart,” he put his hand on your shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze before you started putting the decorations on yourself. He helped you, putting your satchel in front of you and draping stuff over it to make it inconspicuous. Both of your eyes meet once he finishes, staring deeply at one another until he grabbed your hand.

“Just follow my lead.”

“Poe–” you’re cut off as he rushes the two of you out into the open. He begins to laugh and chuckle, talking with you about the festival as the two of you rush toward the rambunctious crowd in the streets. Obeying his order, you mimic him, laughing and chuckling as you get to the crowd and assimilate in. You can hear the troopers behind you berate you both but no shouting in attempts to question you; they must’ve assumed you both and the droid were celebrating a little too hard. 

Even though you are both far out of earshot, Poe keeps a good grip on your hand; leading you through the alleyways until you both end up on the main road. As he gently pushed through the crowd he came to stop once you reached the middle, BB keeping close to your leg. Before you can question him, a loud whistle flies high into the sky, and as you look up, bright colorful lights explode over you. The crowd cheers and celebrates as you stare in awe before looking back at him. 

“See, I told you this planet had the most beautiful fireworks,” he whispered, squeezing your hand as he looked at you softly. The beautiful flashy lights reflect off of his eyes and you can’t help but think he is perfect just like this. You can barely remember you need to respond when Poe’s eyes grow with worry before his hand begins to pull away. 

“Sorry, I can get a little too excited sometimes,” he chuckled, awkwardly looking away.

“No, no, it’s alright,” on instinct you grab his hand again, giving it a squeeze of your own this time. His nervousness seemed to still the moment he looked back at you, and the two of you stood there with locked eyes. 

Everything else faded around both of you, your attention purely on one another. The two of you stepped closer without even realizing it until you were only a breath away. Poe, being who he was, closed the gap; softly sealing his lips yours. You melted against him, a sign of relief leaving you at the feeling of his tongue; a kiss so tender yet wanting. His warm hands roam over your sides, kneading and grazing over your hips. Even with your eyes shut you could see the fireworks popping over the both of you for what felt like an eternity until a familiar beeping caught you off guard.

“What?” you asked in a daze, worried something was wrong. It wasn’t until the droid repeated that you let out a snort followed by laughter while Poe rolled his eyes and sighed. 

“Thank you BB, I’m sorry you're scarred for life,” he groaned, gesturing to the droid to look away; BB listened, begrudgingly beeping angrily. 

“What a romantic you are, huh?” you pant quietly, twiddling your fingers over the curls at the base of his neck, which gets his attention. Kissing me while fireworks are going off.”

“I’m sorry, baby; I couldn’t help myself,” he grinned licking over his own lips before stealing another kiss.

Humming, you throw your arms over him deepening the kiss which seems to make him happy. Poe’s hands land on your hips and pull you closer. Quiet noises left the both of you, from every little nip, lick, or suckle and neither of you seemed to get enough. Both of you seem determined to fill in for the lost time you spent only gazing at one another secretly. Things were heating up until you both heard the incessant beeping which made you pull away. Poe was about to look down at BB when he realized it was coming from him. He fumbled through his pocket for a second before finding his pager which was making the noise and flashing; his mission was back in progress– he frowned.

“I think I’m out of time,” he let out a meek chuckle, pressing his forehead against yours. 

“It’s fine,” you cup his face, trying to pull him ever closer; your lips brushing softly over each other. “We can always pick this back up later when we're both at base.”

“I like the sound of that,” he smiled, rubbing his nose against yours as he closed his eyes for a second. 

“Figured you would, flyboy,” you tease, kissing the tip of his nose. The two of you stare at each other a moment more before pulling away; Poe holding both one of your hands gently.

“Stay safe, Poe,” you squeeze it and he does the same. 

“You too.” 

The two of you finally pull away before going your separate ways, thinking of the million different things you’d say to each other the next time you were home.

[icariusdexx]

⠀⠀

Haunting Nightmares

Crosshair x Reader ( SFW )

Brief introduction : You and Crosshair were on the run after escaping from imperial grasp. It was your night sleeping somewhere peaceful however you couldn't sleep - nightmares.

You were back on Pabu , finally back somewhere safe. . .where you could seek shelter. Somewhere away from the empire's reach. However in the next second the imperial fleet arrived and they didn't even hesitated to blast their shoots. . .in the next moment you saw Omega struggling against the grasp of stormtroopers , there were too many you felt hopeless. You tried to run , find weapon and safe her but everything was on fire.

In the next moment you woke up in dark ship , your chest raising up and down in fast rhythm as you feel cold sweat running down your face. As you hear quite heavy steps getting closer and closer you quickly raised your blaster pointing at him , you lowered it when you saw that it was just Crosshair who came to check on you after he heard your screaming. His gaze was rather exhausted , which would perfectly potray his wellbeing , mentally and physically exhausted. His brows narrowed as he observed you lowering your blaster and making his way slowly towards you.

" Give me that. I don't want you to blast me. "

You were thinking of fighting and telling him that you needed this for your self defence however when you saw his exhausted features you decided to just obey and give it to him. His long fingers grazing your hand as he took your blaster placing it in the holster.

" Okay now. . . You wanna tell me what happened to cause you scream like that? "

You raised your head to now properly look at him , into his stunning brown eyes focused right on you. He slowly sat down right next to you waiting for your answer.

" It's nothing. I'm sorry for disturbing you. "

" I want to know what happened. Talk to me. "

You were a little caught off guard , was he really caring that much that he wanted to hear about your nightmares ? You bit inside of your cheek thinking if you should tell him or not , won't he get bored ?

" nightmares. I watched Pabu burn again. . .seeing Omega getting taken away again by the stormtroopers. I couldn't do anything. "

Crosshair listened to you quietly , as you described your dream. It sounded so damn familiar for him but his nightmares mostly included seeing Marauder exploding which ended up in him screaming because he knew that his brothers were inside. His arm without any response wrapped around you to provide some comfort , at least any bit of comfort he could provide.

" I have familiar nightmares but instead of Pabu it was Marauder. However trust me , Omega is safe with Hunter and Wrecker. They will protect her with their lives. "

His hand gently caressing your side as you laaned against his seat being glad that you have meet him and that you two managed to escape away from Hemlock. . .whole entire. You hoped that it would last forever. You thought for a longer while if Crosshair even wanted to come to Pabu knowing what harsh relation he has with his brothers who still don't trust him.

" Your brothers . . .you have seen them right? "

" Yes. . .however they weren't pleased at all to see me. I haven't felt that guilty around them like ever. They looked at me like they wanted me gone. "

He frowned , his features were looking so miserable on the thought alone , your hands moving to gently land on his cheeks and Crosshair leaned against touch. It must be harsh for him to not feel welcome around anywhere. You leaned forward to press soft kiss against his nose , his brown eyes softened looking at you with adoration. He was glad that he had partner like you who would always be here for him and support him whenever he needed and he was doing the same thing for you. His forehead soon was pressed against yours as he said.

" thought at least I have you. With you by my side I don't feel so. . .alone. "

The sharpshooter quietly said , your heart always melted when you saw that softer side of him , thought you loved every side of Crosshair. That soft one , the snarky one and the loyal one. He saw that you were tired as well so he slowly got up and gave you his hand.

" you want to sleep in cockpit? I will be right by your side. . .hopefully that will scare your nightmares away. "

You firmly grabbed Crosshair's hand and made your way towards the cockpit with him. As he settled back on pilot seat you settled down on the co-pilot seat , leaning back and slowly closing your eyes. His soft gaze remained as he observed you dozing off to sleep. Hopefully you won't get any bad nightmares since he was here now by your side.

[olderthannetfic]

Something that's always stuck with me is Stitch's followers dogpiling me for writing a Jewish Star Wars AU. Basically it was an AU where Finn was space Moses, the last of a noble Force-sensitive family who made sure he survived the destruction of their planet, and when his Force abilities awakened he went on to fight to free the other Stormtroopers. Stitch didn't like that I went in a Finn/Hux direction wherein Hux was a double agent embedded deep in the First Order, sabotaging it from the inside.

I was called a Nazi. I'm Jewish. I was called anti-black. I'm Beta Israeli, black and Ethiopian-American and proud. I was called a Pick Me POC, I was sent pictures of starving Ethiopian children, I was sent Holocaust pictures, people flooded my comments on AO3 - this was before it had a block feature - and even after I deleted my tumblr the hate bled over onto my other social media accounts. I was called slurs, I was told I should've starved to death, people told me my "Jew money" wouldn't buy off people this time, and I got hit by enough people calling me a monster, a bad person, etc. that I took the story down just to escape them.

Stitch only mentioned me once. Just once.

I think the real issue they have with AO3 is that at any point you can be blocked, comments can be turned off, people can find themselves unable to keep clawing at you again and again. You can make it so they have to be logged in to send their threats and then you can report them. They can dogpile "bad" fans all they want, but there are consequences for their actions. I was 14 then and easily intimidated. Many people on AO3 are not either of those things. You can't harass them off their own platform. And when you try, you end up being booted off of it instead.

The real reason Stitch doesn't like AO3 is that it's designed to protect authors, including "Pick Me POC" and "POC TOO" (get it, it's funny because it's like #MeToo, Stitch is oh so hilarious). It protects those of us who are neither white nor onboard with all of Stitch's opinions and, more broadly, not onboard with purity culture, respectability politics and people's demands that you change your content to match their idea of what a respectable fictional story looks like.

This is not about racism. It's about kicking people who are "wrong" aka write anything they don't like off of AO3 for pure, morally good, self-righteous reasons that they tell themselves make them not the bullies here. It's about control. They want you to do what they want or leave.

I've been rewriting my old fic and I'm planning on putting it back up sometime this year.

No, antis, you don't get to bully black people off of AO3 and call yourselves anti-racist and act like you're moral guardians. To be a moral guardian, you'd need some morals. If you don't like the site's policies, get off of it. I am entitled to my space on AO3 just as much as anyone else. I am not Less Than, and the fact that my own people were the ones telling me I was has permanently made me suspicious of alleged anti-racism campaigns in fandom. I know who these people are when they know there won't be consequences for their actions and they're not people I'd trust to run a bake sale, let alone a fandom archive.

--

Yikes! That's quite an experience for a 14-year-old!

[im-a-wonderling]

Eyes, Part 5 ~ Anakin Skywalker

Summary: Knowing if she makes the wrong move, her love or her life will end catastrophically, Y/N grapples with the decision before her.

Warnings: unedited

Word count: 3.1k

Eyes masterlist

Vader’s cloak disappeared around the corner, and you sank to your knees, trying to hold the emotion in, to keep yourself from fracturing. But the harder you tried to contain it, the greater the pain grew. 

Finally, a choked sob broke through your lips, and the dam broke. 

All the heartache of the last few months came crashing down. Your whole life had been suspended since Order 66, as if you’d died with all the other Jedi. There were some days where you wondered if you should’ve, if only so that you didn’t have to live on in this way. If you’d died that day, you never would’ve learned what happened to Anakin, and you’d die believing that somehow, the two of you would be reunited. 

But this? 

This was the height of cruelty.

The tears fell like falling stars, and on them, you wished you could rewrite the past. It would have been better to have died than to live through tragedy such as this.

Vader didn’t come back.

You waited in the escape pod bay for a long time, pulling yourself together in preparation for his return. But your only company were the stormtroopers guarding the door.

Is that it then? you wondered as you finally got to your feet and traipsed back to your chambers, the stormtroopers never more than two paces away. Had Vader given up? Was he simply going to turn you over to the Emperor? 

The thought normally would’ve made you seize with fear. Instead, you sat on the bed, staring at nothing. 

If this was the end, then it was the end. What could possibly be the point in fighting it anymore? 

Hope had fluttered away with its fragile wings, probably somewhere where it could be acted upon instead of clung to like an inch of rope in a deep, dark chasm.

You had no lightsaber after Vader sliced it in two, no supplies, nothing of value. Even if you somehow managed to ditch your stormtrooper escort long enough to get to the escape pod bay, it would be naive of you to think Vader wouldn’t send ships after you, or come after you himself.

There was no way out.

In a few hours, you would die at the hands of the Emperor. Your only comfort was to know that you would be freed from this miserable existence and join with the thousands of other Jedi before you. 

The door of your chamber slid open.

You didn’t bother getting up because it wasn’t Vader. You couldn’t feel his darkness through the Force. 

“Food for the prisoner.”

You turned your head just in time to see a stormtrooper set the tray down on the nightstand by your bed.

“I’m not hungry,” you replied, your voice tired and soft. “Take it away.”

The doors shut, leaving you alone with the stormtrooper, who didn’t move. “Didn’t you hear me?” you asked crossly. “I don’t want it!”

“In twenty minutes,” the stormtrooper said quietly, “right when this ship passes Asmall, the Rebel Alliance is going to attack.”

You leapt to your feet, staring at him. 

“You’ve already found the escape pod bay. I’ll incapacitate the guards outside your door. Get yourself to the bay and off the ship, and the Rebels will take care of the rest.” He gave a quick nod before opening your door.

You almost called after him, but the sight of the two troopers outside your door made you stop. 

The door slid closed, and you sat on your bed, heart thumping and your hands shaking in response to the sudden rush of hope. Was this a trick? Or was it real? Even if it was a trick, you decided, dying while trying to get away was better than dying for the Emperor’s amusement. 

You felt the darkness a mere moment before the door slid open again. You stayed seated where you were, staring up at Vader.

Taking his time, Vader stepped into the room. 

The door remained open, allowing the two stormtroopers outside to follow him in. 

Your heart picked up. Vader always seemed to want privacy for your conversations before…so what did it mean if he no longer did now? 

“This is…your last chance.” 

The unasked question hung in the air, as if Vader already knew your answer and wanted to draw out the time before he received it. 

You eyed the stormtroopers warily. For all you knew, if you refused, they were prepared to drag you off and throw you in an actual cell again. If you said yes, did you have a better chance of still getting away whenever the Rebel Alliance started attacking the ship? If you said yes, even just as a way of stalling until you got away, would you be able to stomach it? 

Even your heart aflame with the hope of getting away, you knew your answer. “I won’t.”

Vader took a long, rattling breath. “Why not?”

“You know why.” You got to your feet and walked to the other side of the bed, putting more distance in between you and them. 

“You don’t want to take part…in any more loss of life.” Vader stepped closer. “But you were willing…to kill me…when we fought.” 

Blindsided, you took a step back. “I–”

“I felt it…you cannot deny…the darkness.”

“It’s different. The galaxy would be better off if I killed you.” 

One of the stormtroopers behind Vader shifted slightly. Vader addressed them without turning: “Stand guard over the door.”

The stormtroopers scurried away. Fear started wafting through the room as you held your breath, waiting for what Vader would do. 

Vader hit the button for the door with his fist, and it slid closed. 

He remained where he was, with his back to you. “Y/N…I…”

Silence fell, but you knew it wasn’t because he was trying to catch his breath. It was because he didn’t know what to say. You blinked, and Vader was suddenly in front of you, without so much as a whisper of his boots across the floor. Your breath caught in your chest, for you’d never seen Vader move that quickly. “If you do not…join the Empire–”

“I will be killed,” you whispered. The Force inside you pulsed in response to the fear that rushed through you. But fear had never been a stranger. “So be it.”

“Does our history…mean nothing?” Even though his voice hadn’t changed, you felt the current of desperation in the words.

“If you are not Anakin, then why should our history mean anything?” you argued. “Why should I trust you? If you’re not Anakin, why would I have any reason to join you?”

It was disturbing to know from Vader’s silence that he was struggling to compose himself yet being completely unable to see it. “Because…I love you.”

“Anakin is the only man who ever loved me, and you say he is dead.”

“Anakin died…when this body burned.”

“Oh, I think the true Anakin died long before that body burned.” Your soft words fell like bombs, and you could’ve sworn the room darkened. “It doesn’t matter if you’re him or you’re not.” You swallowed hard, trying to keep your nerve. “Anakin was a sith. Darth Vader is a sith. Nothing changes.” 

Silence fell once more. 

Vader remained still, and while the Force seemed to be swarming around him, your head was clear and your heart was resolute. 

Then his arms were moving, and you shut your eyes, convinced you were finally going to feel the famed chokehold around your neck. And in spite of yourself, you were so grateful that it would end at his hands and not the Emperor’s. 

But instead of a pressure on your throat, you felt two arms wrap around you. There was no warmth or softness to this body, and when the arms pulled you into Vader’s chest, the electronic panel there dug into your torso. You’d never been held by a droid, but you imagined this is what it would feel like. You were about to pull away from his embrace when you heard it.

Ba-bump. Ba-bump. Ba-bump.

You squeezed your eyes shut, and a solitary tear fell down your cheek as you sucked in a ragged breath. You could hear Anakin’s…Vader’s heart. The heart you’d once longed for, received, and then lost. 

One of Vader’s hands came to the back of your neck, cradling you just like Anakin used to do. “Does my love…mean nothing?”

You drew away from him, not bothering to hide the tears. “Attachment isn’t love,” you said, your voice shaking. “But I guess Anakin Skywalker always struggled with that.” 

Vader cocked his head, and you braced yourself for the vehement response that he wasn’t Anakin. But when he spoke, his voice was strangely soft.

“You’ve lost everything…but your life…and you are willing…to give it away?”

“My life is not the only thing I have left,” you breathed.

You felt it then, radiating off of Vader so powerfully, it almost stripped you of semblance.

Hope.

He thought you talked of him.

Your heart screamed in agony, but you shoved it aside as you had always been taught. “I am a Jedi.” You held your head high. “And to lose that would be a fate worse than death.”

Through the Force, a surge of darkness rippled through the space between you. Vader shifted, a long distorted exhale escaping the mask. “If you don’t want…to be with me…that’s fine. Just don’t make…a rash decision.”

“It’s not rash.” You tightened your grip on the lightsaber you held behind your back, the lightsaber you’d grabbed from his belt when he hugged you. “Believe me, I’ve thought this through.”

“Why don’t you–” The ship around you shuddered slightly, and Vader twisted to look at the door.

There wouldn’t be a better moment: it was now or never. 

You almost brought out the lightsaber when the doors slid open, revealing a stormtrooper. “Sir, we’re under attack!”

Vader stormed over to the door, and the stormtrooper lowered his head. “Stay here…watch the prisoner.”

With that, Vader swept away. 

You eyed the stormtrooper. Was this the same trooper who’d delivered the message or was this a different one? If it wasn’t, was this still the best opportunity you were going to get? You had Vader’s lightsaber, but you didn’t want to raise it against any stormtroopers if you could help it. 

The stormtrooper standing guard poked their head in. “What are you–”

In a flash, the first stormtrooper knocked the butt of his blaster against his partner’s head, and his partner crumbled. “Go!” 

No sooner had he uttered the word, you burst out of the room, sprinting down the hallway for the escape pods.

A pair of patrolling stormtroopers turned as you caught up to them. Taking a leaf out of your unknown hero’s book, you brought Vader’s lightsaber down on their heads, sending them to the floor in unconscious heaps. Grabbing one of their fallen blasters, you tucked it into the waistband of your pants. 

When you caught sight of another pair headed towards you, you ducked into a closet, waited until they’d passed, and quickly continued on. 

Running towards the final corner to turn before you reached your escape, you scoffed at the engineer who’d designed this ship for designing your temporary bedroom’s proximity to the escape pod bay. Heart pounding and lungs fighting for breath, you rounded the corner, ready to run into one and get off the ship.

Except the bay wasn’t empty. 

“Where do you…think you’re going?”

Vader stood in between you and the pods. 

The ship shuddered again, and you wondered what conflict Vader was willfully missing to be here. “I’m leaving,” you said shortly, seeing no point in being subtle. Anyone with half a brain would be able to figure out what you were up to, and Vader wasn’t that dim-witted. 

“Stay.” 

You breathed against the stab of pain. 

If there was ever a moment to fight, to devote everything you had and everything you were to combat, it was now. Your life depended on it. 

You ignited his lightsaber, cringing at the red but holding tight. “No.”

Vader didn’t move at first, the red light throwing harsh shadows onto his black armor. Then, he slowly raised his hand, not outward as if to strangle you, but to brandish something. 

Your heart leapt into your throat.

“My lightsaber,” you whispered. 

The lightsaber he’d made for you what felt like ages ago, in another life. The one he’d split in half a few days ago. And the one he’d apparently fixed for you.

“Y/N…please…stay.”

You lifted your eyes to the ceiling, keeping the tears and fears at bay and clutching onto every shred of strength and self-respect you possessed. “If I have nightmares for the rest of my life, so be it.” You looked back at Vader, and a tear finally fell. “But I need to be able to live with myself when I wake.” 

The moment the final word left you, you pulled out the blaster and fired.

The harsh sound of the blast leaving the chamber barely reached your ears before Vader ignited your blue lightsaber and deflected it. 

Less than a breath and he was upon you. The red and blue light flashing through the bay with the exchanged lightning quick strikes made your eyesight a little blurry. Every clash of the lightsabers was like a slice to the heart, but your life was on the line, and you knew it. 

Vader lifted your saber above his head, and you were almost too late in lifting his to meet it. 

The two of you grappled, his might pushing against you, forcing you backwards until you hit one of the power stations. You were trapped between cold metal and Vader, moments left before you lost. 

So you did the only thing you could think of. 

You hooked your leg around his knee. 

Vader went down to the floor with a thud, and your lightsaber flew from his hand, the blue light disappearing as it deactivated. You stood above him, holding his red saber aloft as you gazed down at him. 

You could deal the fatal blow. 

You could rid the galaxy of the evil which you might’ve had a hand in creating. 

But did you have the strength to strike him down?

In your hesitation, you knew the answer to that. 

“Y/N…” Vader’s voice was pleading. Did he plead for mercy? For death? Or for you? 

Your hesitation lasted too long. Vader slowly got to his feet. You held his lightsaber out, urging him to stay back, but his helmet didn’t so much as dip to look at his own weapon pointed at his gut.  “Y/N, please.” 

Before your hesitation could cost you your life and freedom, you turned off the lightsaber and hurled it. With the power of the Force behind it, the lightsaber flew through the air like a miniature torpedo, colliding with his helmet. 

Vader stumbled, and you leapt into action before he could recover. 

Sprinting faster than you ever had in your life, you reached the pod. Heart beating wildly, you slammed your hand onto the button to close the hatch. As the doors slid closed, Vader reached out towards you. “Y/N!”

The pod ejected, and the momentum threw you to the floor.

For a moment, you just lay there, mind whirling with the events that just occurred. But then your mind caught up with the present, and you scrambled to your feet, sitting in the seat to put your hands on the controls.

-

Vader burst onto the flight deck. “The rebels.”

The general heard the unspoken question. “We’re holding them off, sir, but it would be unwise to linger without back-up.”

“We must–” Vader started to say.

“Sir!” one of the navigators called to the general. “One of our escape pods was launched!”

“Any life forms aboard?” the general asked.

“One, sir, but the authentication was hijacked!”

“The prisoner!” the general said, turning to Vader. “Sir, we’ll go after her. Dispatch the TIE–”

“No.”

The general paused, giving Vader a strange look. “Sir?”

Vader gripped Y/N’s lightsaber, the one he made for her. The one he fixed for her. The last remnant of her he possessed. “Get us to Coruscant…before the rebels…finish us off.”

“But sir–” Vader advanced on the general, who wisely backed away. “Yes, sir, of course, sir.” The general turned back to the pilot, his throat rippling as he swallowed. “Prepare for the jump to lightspeed!”

Vader left the deck. 

His body ached and burned as usual, but somehow, the pain felt new.

He found himself, standing in front of the window in the escape pod bay again. He watched the escape pod grow smaller and smaller. The ship whined, signaling the jump to lightspeed was near, but he kept his eyes fixed on the pod until the Star Destroyer lurched forward and the stars blurred.

-

There must’ve been some reason the Star Destroyer wasn’t firing at you, but you didn’t have time to wonder. You needed to put as much distance between you and the ship as possible. The sooner you reached the surface of Asmall, the more time you had to find a decent hiding spot.

You’d reached the planet’s atmosphere before you dared to look at the radar. To your astonishment, no TIE fighters pursued you. You twisted in your seat to look out the window in the back of the cramped pod. 

The Star Destroyer was gone.

Your hands shook on the controls as you swiveled back to face the planet. 

You kept glancing back, certain the Star Destroyer would come back, but it stayed gone. 

You’d lost all your supplies, including both Vader’s lightsaber and your own. All you had were the clothes on your back and the near worthless escape pod. 

And your life.

Darth Vader had killed countless people, even people on his own side. But he’d let you go, perhaps in more ways than one. Perhaps…perhaps he was still alive. Perhaps, in the heart of Vader, there still lived a remnant of Anakin Skywalker.

But even if there was, you knew that you would never see either one of them again, and the last memory you would have was of him reaching out for you.

-

And Eyes is officially complete! If you enjoyed this, check out my Obi-Wan fanfic Rescue Me.

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[where-dreamers-go]

"Like Sugar" Cal Kestis x Reader

(A/N: I was wanting to write something for Star Wars Day last year, but also something fluffy. So Cal and Reader are friends, but Reader is kind of pining for this Jedi. I mean, you’ve seen him smile, right? I had been listening to “Sugar” by Sofia Carson, but currently it’s “Hey You” by Aaron Carter. So happy early Valentine's Day! Warnings: fluff Word Count: 924 words)

A coolness of the datapad contrasted against your fingertips. Something small to keep your mind on as you walked up to a closed door on the Stinger Mantis.

Cal’s room. Well, where he slept in the engine room.

You knew how he and Merrin had been out dealing with Imperials. Earlier was no different. Once dealt with, all of you took the ship out of the planetary system. Greez was talented in hiding the crew in space, a fantastic pilot. Quiet and vast.

Even so, spending hours running circles around stormtroopers could be tiring.

You, quite honestly, wanted to make Cal smile and forget about your fight against the Empire. Even for a little while. It could make a difference in his day. You hoped.

He deserved a break, mentally.

The thought to spend time with Merrin did flicker to life, but she had her own routine and knew exactly where you were headed with your datapad. Were you that predictable?

Raising a hand, you knocked.

Not long afterwards, Cal stood before the opened doorway. No poncho in sight.

“Hey.”

“Not asleep yet?” You teased inquisitively.

“No.” He smiled and reached up to push back his hair.

You revealed the datapad from behind your back. “Up for a few funny holovids?”

His eyebrows rose for a fleeting moment. A grin followed soon after. “Definitely.”

Gesturing you inside, Cal lead the way to his small cot and the both of you hopped up on it.

You had been in here time and again, as friends obviously, but that tickle of something always made you hyperaware of his proximity.

All ready having videos in mind, it took no time for you to load them up on the device.

“This one,” you informed him, “is unassuming.”

“Oh?”

You held the datapad aloft between the pair of you as you started the video.

The screen showed a homemade view, spying no doubt, of two stormtroopers on a patrol. A concept dangerous to even attempt as a civilian. Yet there it was on the holonet.

“Here we go,” you whispered.

Every thing was boring and strict as per usual. Two stormtroopers stomping their way towards the edge of some market. That was until the one of the right tripped on nothing at all, tried catching themselves on, also, nothing, and made a quick fall onto the dirt. A mess of white armor.

Snickering, you peered over to Cal.

The young man’s eyebrows were raised in surprise even as a wide grin became visible on his fair, freckled face.

“The Force works in mysterious ways, yes?” You smirked.

Cal bumped your shoulder playfully and replied, “Something like that.”

A happy jolt lightened your chest.

In honesty, you really, really liked Cal. Differently than how you felt about the rest of the crew. It was not fully romantic love, not completely, but it was wonderful.

“Okay,” you said, trying to refocus.

A couple of taps on the datapad and another holovid starring siblings filming each other secretly dancing behind stormtroopers and never being caught. Their faces blurred.

Beside you, Cal practically rolled with laughter.

Your heart soared through the cosmos hearing Cal. So joyful and free. You were a part of it rising to the surface to be shared and heard. To know he felt something other than whatever it was when he was fighting could send you into endless smiling.

“How have they never been caught?”

“Quick reflexes?” You suggested and tapped the screen again.

Shifting closer, he draped an arm over you. Successfully tucking you into his side. His hand just there in your field of vision taking up space and touching nothing. Warmth radiated from him, almost as strong as his dedication to the crew. Cal had a love for everyone on the ship. Green eyes showcasing such warmth, love, and gratefulness.

“Is there another one?” He asked, gesturing to the screen with his other hand.

“Yeah.” The words were out before your brain suggested any form of communication. You hoped he couldn’t register your quickening heartbeat.

“No embarrassing moments in this one though.”

“That’s fine.”

Mixtures of languages and movement sounded from the holovid. A busy cantina with plenty of customers. This one had a view from the far side of the establishment.

“Are you trying to show me food reviews now?” Cal joked.

Keeping quiet, you watched as a loth cat leapt across multiple tables. People shouted and plates scattered as the creature ran amok indoors. A guest offscreen mentioned how it was a droid’s fault for disturbing the cat from it’s spot by the bar. Not one person could catch the speeding loth cat.

“Greez would throw a fit if we adopted one,” Cal chuckled.

“A creature with claws, teeth, and basically did whatever they wanted? Yeah. I could imagine the lecture we’d get.”

“Short and very honest.”

“A very honest: Get that thing outta here.”

At your words, Cal grinned. Pleased to think about his crew, his family, in the most domestic setting.

Too bad it couldn’t be like that more often.

“Another one?” You asked.

“Sure.”

Cal propped his foot on the cot, his knee then just behind your datapad.

“Thank you.” Cal leaned his head back onto the wall.

“For the funnies?”

“Yeah. Thank you. I needed this.” He sighed happily.

“Glad I can help.”

Turning his head to you, even his eyes appeared to smile. Little lines forming at the corners of his eyelids. Creases that showed his contentment.

“You always do.”

Returning Cal’s smile, you added, “And I always will.”

~~~

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Best wishes and happy reading.)

~~~

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[goosewriting]

Thaw

summary: reader comforts Cal when he has self-doubts.

relationship: Cal Kestis x GN reader

warnings: slight spoilers for Jedi Fallen Order

word count: 1.6k 

A/N: i tried keeping it as vague as possible so as not to spoil too much. eventually i got some things wrong because when i first wrote this i hadn’t finished the game yet and i mix up all the inquisitors anyways lol

(english is not my first language. constructive criticism and grammar corrections are very appreciated!)

— — —

“Start up the ship! I’m on my way!”

That was the last message Cal sent after you informed him that the Empire had gotten to Ilum, and they were after him. Greez, Cere and you are currently in the Mantis’ cockpit, looking out to the snowy landscape, as two Imperial Walkers appear from behind the rocky formations, shooting away from you, possibly at Cal.

Your chest tightens slightly, feeling bad for the poor Jedi; he really needed a break. He finally managed to repair his lightsaber in the caves, and now Stormtroopers are after him yet again. 

After presumably fighting his way out, you finally spot him between the Walkers, running towards you, and you worry at the slight limp you immediately spot. Telling Greez to take off, you go to the ship’s ramp, which is slowly starting to retreat to close the hatch. Cal takes a Force-pushed leap onto it, losing his footing as he lands and he almost falls off, but you grab him by the arm, pulling him inside, and the door closes behind him.

Panting, Cal leans onto the round table as you shake off some snow from his clothes. He’s rambling about the Inquisitors, saying that you need to get to Dathomir as soon as possible to retrieve Cordova’s artefact from the tomb because the Second Sister is hot on his tail. 

Greez assures Cal that he’s already setting course to the red planet, but you interject that before he goes anywhere, he needs rest first. Now that he calmed down a bit you can see his adrenaline is wearing off, and he grimaces in pain as he now feels every sore spot on his body. 

Letting him lean onto your shoulder, you guide him to the back of the ship to sit on the edge of your shared bunk. BD hops onto the little table and beeps worriedly.

“Don’t worry, buddy,” you comfort the droid, as you take off Cal’s poncho and shirt. “He’ll feel better after some rest.”

You stand between Cal’s legs, tending to his injuries. He has a couple of blaster burns on his chest and shoulders, as well as a cut on his temple. You clean everything up and gently apply bacta gel to the wounds, as well as two thin band aids to the cut so it would heal properly. 

“How’s your leg?” you ask him.

“It’s fine, not sprained or anything,” Cal says without meeting your eyes. “I just took an awkward step, is all. I’ll walk it off.”

You merely hum in response, handing him a clean shirt to put on. You stand up to put everything away, and when you’re done you catch Cal just in time as he wants to get up, but you push him back down by his good shoulder.

“Come here,” you speak softly, scooting in behind him and hugging Cal to you, so he’s sitting between your legs with his back to your chest, while you sit against the wall. You make sure not to press on any of his injuries. Finally he seems to relax a little in your hold, and you press a little kiss to his jaw.

With the Empire after you, and all these Inquisitors always sniffing him out somehow… You know Cal feels like it was defeat after defeat. You want to comfort him but you're not sure what to say except for ‘it’s gonna be okay’.

You feel Cal tracing over a relatively fresh wound on your arm with his fingers, as he looks deep in thought. Thanks to Cal, you got very few injuries yourself, this one being from when you two escaped the Wookiee’s home planet.

“This is all my fault,” Cal says suddenly.

“Huh? What is?” you question. He doesn’t answer immediately. 

“When the Second Sister tapped into our comms on Kashyyyk…” he starts, and you don’t like where this is going. “If I had noticed–”

“I’m gonna stop you right there,” you interrupt him. “She played dirty. It’s no one's fault. And certainly not yours.”

“But Cere, if she had told me… I still don't know if I can trust her.”

“She did save us from Bracca, though, didn't she?” you ask rhetorically. 

“… I guess.”

You take his hands in yours.

“Listen, what you need is a nap. You haven't had a break since this whole thing started,” you tell him, and BD beeps affirmatively. “See, even BD agrees! You sir, need a nap.”

“No, there’s no time to waste, I have to–”

“Go to bed is what you have to do. No ‘but’s,” you tell him, trying to sound like it’s final. “Remember what happened to Dathomir before you left? If you want to fight whoever comes your way, you need to rest and properly heal.”

“No, I–”

“Just a nap, Cal,” you insist, moving out from behind him and sitting at the edge of the bed so you can look him in the eyes. “Please. You’re exhausted.”

With you holding his face and looking at him like this, he doesn’t find it in him to fight you or the aching cries of his muscles anymore, so he finally gives in with a sigh. 

“Fine. But wake me up when we get there,” he says.

“I will,” you promise, and guide him to lie back on the bed. When you want to get up, he takes your hand.

“Will you stay with me?” Cal asks in a barely audible whisper. 

“Of course,” you answer just as softly. 

You lie onto your back with him on top of you, his head is on your chest as you run your fingers through his hair. His breathing starts evening out, and your mind drifts off, remembering how you met on Bracca, everything you went through together, all his tales from his time as a Padawan, and your chest tightens. He’s a wonderful person, incredibly resilient, with a heart so kind despite everything, it’s rare to find these days. You also remember that he sometimes forgets these things, so you have to remind him.

“You know you're doing great Cal, right?” you ask after a while in silence, and he lifts his head to look at you. 

“You'll finish Cordova’s mission,” you go on. “And everything will be fine.”

“How can you be so sure?” he asks, wanting to give in but not sure if he should yet. So much can still happen. But you just shrug with a smile.

“I just do,” you assure him. “Trust in the Force, right? I know we both do. It’ll work out.”

Being at a loss for words, Cal leans in, deciding to show his gratitude through a kiss. His lips meet yours and he’s pouring everything into it. And you understand all that he’s trying to communicate.

The kisses slowly start intensifying, and you need to scrape up a lot of self-control to push him off.

“As much as I'm enjoying this, you really need to sleep,” you remind him, slightly out of breath. Cal groans in protest against your neck, giving it a light nip.

“Besides,” you giggle. “I think we have an audience.”

Cal stops and looks up, following your gaze to the side of the bunk where BD is still on the table, looking from you to Cal and back with an inquisitive beep.

“You wanna get in here too, buddy?” you ask the droid and extend an arm, inviting him to join you. BD gives you a happy ‘beep-boop!’ and hops onto the bed.

He’s about to join the cuddle pile when he tilts his head looking at you two. Cal cups your cheek and looks at you lovingly as you smile up at him. BD takes a step back and you hear a shutter, like a picture just got taken. Now your attention is back on the droid. 

“...Did BD just…?” you ask, and Cal sighs.

“You weren’t supposed to hear that,” the redhead grumbles, sending the droid a half-hearted glare.

“Does BD take pictures of us often?” you question him with a chuckle, and an adorable blush spreads on Cal’s freckled face.

“Of you,” he corrects you. 

“...What?”

“For when I'm gone and… miss you. So I can look at you,” he explains, and now it’s your turn to feel the heat prickling your cheeks.

“Can I see them?” you ask after a moment. 

“Hmm, nope.” 

“What do you mean ‘no’? I wanna see!” you whine.

“They're my personal collection, sorry,” Cal says with a cocky grin, and you playfully roll your eyes at him and he laughs. 

Then you’re left in silence again, just looking at each other. Your hand comes up to gingerly trace over the scar on his nose and you can’t help a little smile; it’s your favourite scar of his. Some may say that a scar so evident would be bad or ugly, like an imperfection, but to you it adds to Cal’s handsomeness. It reminds you that despite everything he went through, he’s still here. With you. 

Compared to the boy you met all those years ago on Bracca, he had come so far. Grown so much. Become more confident and powerful.

When Cal raises a questioning brow at you, given your silence and the way you study his face, your hand comes up to the back of his neck, gently pulling him down to place a kiss on the bridge of his nose. Then you pull him back to your chest, and after a while, you can feel him finally dozing off. BD settles down next to you, and you give him a tired, thankful smile. 

“I love you, Cal,” you whisper into his hair after a while. “You’re enough. And I hope one day you’ll realise that.”