#but then other ppl come and tell you how odd it is how different you are and how could you ever exist like this…

[qwimblenorrisstan]

To Be Known | Azriel x Reader

Summary: You’ve always been afraid to confess to Azriel about your feelings for him, but after a hookup gone wrong, everything begins falling apart, and he’s there to pick up the pieces.

Word Count: ~ 2.4k

Warnings: Drunk ppl, drunk fem reader, allusions to smut, std mentions, bloodwork (doctors), guy being an ahole + taking advantage of drunk reader, scars, angst to comfort

A/N: this request was so good (ty to anon!!), I feel like az always pairs really good with angst to comfort, anyways hope you enjoy<3 (also sorry for lack of posts recently I just had a math+science test back to back and have spent the past few days studying😭)

Requests are open!

Unlike the rest of your friend group, you weren’t special.

You weren’t a High Lord, Spymaster, General, High Lady, Seer, or any special title. You weren’t funny like Mor, witty like Amren, or even talented in much like all of your friends were.

But then again, like your mother had said, opposites always attract.

Maybe that was why had always had a small crush on the Spymaster who was withdrawn and secretive, the opposite of your friendly personality. You could befriend just about anyone, knowing their name, age, and at least a few background details on them in a few minutes, while Azriel was the exact opposite, getting his information on people through other ways.

With his job and his centuries of experience for two different High Lords, it was a wonder he didn’t already know about your crush on him. Maybe it was because, like everyone else, he was focused on the central characters in your friend group.

The three sisters and brothers. It was hard to overlook them, with all their achievements and accomplishments, not to mention the things they’d overcome and their pasts.

Tonight you were all out at Rita’s, Cassian telling awful jokes to Nesta as she rolled her eyes, playfully swatting him on the shoulder, Rhys and Feyre having a drinking competition, Azriel brooding somewhere in the corner, alone because of Elain visiting Autumn Court with Mor for “political purposes” even though everyone knew she wanted to see Lucien.

You were taking a sip of your drink, idly standing at the bar, elbows propped on the table as your eyes raked through the crowd, searching for someone who could offer a decent hookup. Drunk Fae stumbled about, laughing loudly with genuine joy that made your lips twitch up a bit, the music playing in the background also helping your mood as a cool breeze blew through the open area.

“Looking for someone?”

You choked on your drink, alcohol coming back up to sting your throat a second time before you swallowed it all backdown, one hand over your heart as you sighed in relief, looking at Azriel who’d somehow approached without you knowing.

“Mother above, Az, you scared the shit outta me.”

You replied, taking a few more breaths to calm down, turning to face him, back now against the bar table as the shadowsinger looked down at you, hair falling into his eyes in a boyish way that made you giggle as you tried to brush some behind his hair.

“Someone needs a haircut,”

You teased, and a hint of a smile graced his lips.

“I’ll make sure not to go to Mor this time.”

He said, grimacing for a moment at the memory of the awful haircut Mor had given him, insisting he needed it, only to butcher his beautiful dark locks. You could still remember how distraught he’d been after, looking like a puppy that had just been kicked.

“I could do it, my mom used to cut hair, taught me a thing or two,”

You offered with a little shrug, taking another sip of your drink, one you’d already refilled by now. Maybe twice. You couldn’t remember, all you knew was that the hangover in the morning would be brutal.

A chuckle from Azriel made you rub your thighs together as he shook his head in fond exasperation. He swallowed, almost nervously, odd for him, before speaking.

“Maybe next time, though I wouldn’t object if you-“

He was cut short by another male strolling up to you a tad bit too confidently, one arm going to the right of you on the bar table as his eyes met yours.

An old partner. Particularly a fuck-buddy.

The best solution for tonight, really, since Cauldron knows you weren’t bold enough to push anything with Azriel. He was a friend, nothing more, or at least you tried to convince yourself. He still hadn’t gotten over Elain, or you thought he hadn’t yet, and you didn’t want to risk ruining your friendship or making things awkward between the two of you because of your desires the the crush you’d kept secret for years.

Your fuck-buddy’s eyes met yours, and you swallowed, glancing at Azriel as he watched the silent interaction the two of you had before giving a terse nod and walking away. You would’ve noticed how his eyes narrowed, or how he looked stiff if you hadn’t taken a few too many sips between talking with those at Rita’s tonight.

“Want to take this back to my place?”

The male drawled, arm sliding around your waist as he began guiding you to the exit around the side, where people could discreetly leave. Neither of you was beating around the bush, and you rarely did anyway. You both just needed a release, or at least you did.

“Mm..sure.”

You murmured, body hot now, thinking about Azriel instead of the male leading you to his old home, wishing it was Azriel’s hands on you, wishing you knew what it felt like to know him more, deeper than just the tip of the iceberg you’d touched.

~

Weeks had passed since that night, you’d woken up cold and alone in the male’s bed, gotten up, and collected your clothes before walking your ass back to the townhouse while your head had felt like someone split it open.

You had vowed not to go drinking for a while now.

And things had gotten weird between you and Azriel Joe, too. He was avoiding you, and no matter how much he tried to deny it, you could tell.

When he heard your footsteps, he left the room almost immediately, hell, even his shadows were avoiding you, not following you like loyal dogs per usual, just one or two to make sure you were safe at all times like he did for every member of the Inner Circle. His jaw was clenched every time he was in a room with you, and he wouldn’t look you in the eye, maybe couldn’t.

You barely remembered what had happened that night other than a few blurry memories of conversations and whatnot; so you didn’t know if you’d said something stupid and messed it up, or he thought you were a whore for going out with that other male and leaving him all alone.

The more you thought about it, the more you thought the latter was more likely.

It didn’t help that just a few days later, amidst all your worries, you’d decided to take a little walk through Velaris to get some outside time and a serotonin boost, only for the exact opposite to happen when you were met with your previous fuck-buddy from that night weeks ago screaming in your face, yanking you down a small alleyway to properly yell at you.

“Nasty bitch, gave me a disease! If you’re going to be a whore, at least keep your fucking viruses to yourself-!”

Horror shot through you at his words. You didn’t have any sort of STD, not that you knew of at least, and if you’d spread the theoretical disease to him…He might be an asshole, but no one deserves that.

Unsure what to do as tears welled in your eyes and fell, you began trying to ignore him as you turned and dashed out of the alleyway, the loose clothing you were wearing helping you to slightly outpace him through the streets, avoiding the children and Fae on them, not to mention the vendors and toys strewn about.

He pursued you, screaming still, and hot tears of embarrassment pouring down your cheeks as you began to sob, you didn’t even realize you’d outrun him until you were already at the steps to the House of Wind, ascending them, not even bothering to count out the 10,000 steps in your head.

Somehow, through either pure anger or sadness, you reached the top right when your knees gave out, only for Nesta to catch you right before you fell, dressed in her training leathers, weapons strapped to her. Her forehead wrinkled in confusion and already-building anger as she saw you crying your eyes out.

“What’s wrong?”

She demanded, shifting to hold you up fully, carrying you bridal style as she started walking into the House, snapping her fingers once she got inside, and the House listened to her as always, making a warm cup of tea in your favorite flavor, and a comfort meal she knew you loved as she slowly sat you down at the table. The House must’ve deemed it necessary when it added a cushion beneath your butt on the chair, considering your aching legs.

You tried to blubber out an answer amidst the tears, but couldn’t manage to, and her eyes softened as she sighed, sitting down next to you on your right, before seeing that she wasn’t making much progress, and getting back up.

“Eat, we can talk about this later, I’ll go get him.”

You were about to ask who she was going to get, even though a part of you already knew as you saw her walking off in the direction of his room. You began slowly digging into the food, finding yourself to be much hungrier than earlier anticipated. Then again, you’d skipped out on breakfast, expecting to get a big lunch while out and about in Velaris.

Azriel arrived only a moment later, shadows swirling, concern evident on his face as Nesta gave him a stern look and pointed to you before she mouthed “You’re welcome.” to you, and strolled out of the door.

“What happened?”

He asked, smooth voice soaked in worry as he quickly pulled out the same chair Nesta had just been sitting in, sitting in it as it groaned under his weight. One of his wings stretched out in your direction, just barely curling around you.

You swallowed a bite of your food, tears coming back up.

“It’s embarrassing.”

You managed to croak out, and he shook his head.

“I won’t make fun of you, I promise.”

He pledged, and you trusted that promise as you sniffled again, wiping the wetness from your eyes with one hand.

“Me and that male from Rita’s, we slept together, and he just accused me of…of giving him an STD.”

You said, before breaking into sobs again, hands going to cover your face despite the warmth that burned in your cheeks from the shame of being in this situation. His large palm gently brushed over your back as he scooted closer, raising an eyebrow at the cushion in your seat for half a second before his wing curled fully around you; and he pulled you into a surprisingly warm hug.

“I’m sorry.”

He murmured, and your sobs slowly subsided until you had no tears left to cry, but you still held onto him in the hug, hands fisting the back of his shirt, the cloth bunching up beneath your fingers.

“What if I do, though? Have a..virus?”

He gave a little hum of thought.

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. For now, do you want to go get tested?”

You gave a sad little nod, a small pout on your lips that made him want to rip apart the male that made you feel this way. He gently picked you up, careful with your sore legs, figuring out what had happened rather quickly after some of his shadows informed him what they’d seen. They also quickly informed him on the full story, and what that male had done. Another job for another day, but he would make sure he paid for it.

Nearly two hours later, you’d had to pee in a cup for Madja to check, and now were getting blood taken to get that tested as well, as well as any other necessary bodily fluids. Symptoms were noted if there were any. It was uncomfortable at best, but Azriel held your hand the entire time, not even wincing when you squeezed his hand a bit too hard for all the scars covering it.

He quickly winnowed the both of you to the House of Wind afterward, having been told the results would take at least a day to get back. He winnowed the both of you straight into his room.

It was dark, curtains drawn and everything, with the barest essentials in it as well as a desk for work, a few maps hanging from the walls, and assortments of fancy knives you knew he must’ve collected over the centuries.

You turned to leave, but his hand grasping your wrist quickly made you turn, tilting your head sideways in mild confusion.

“Stay.”

He begged, looking terrified of what you might say, but also hopeful. You sniffled again, nodding and tentatively following him as he gently led you over to the bed, each move like a new dance, one that neither of you had practiced before, but were willing to try.

He slowly stripped his leathers off, letting you see his scarred body and wings for what it truly was. And for once, the sight of his bare body, while very attractive, didn’t just make you horny or craving him. It made you appreciate him, who he was at his core. The years he’d spent training and honing his body to protect his Court, the scars he’d suffered protecting his loved ones and serving them; even willing to take it to the end.

You appreciated him. Even in the bad lighting of the room, or the thick shadows swirling everywhere, you appreciated Azriel.

And so, in turn, you began slowly tugging your clothes off, leaving only your undergarments on. His eyes ran over you, respectfully as always, but taking in your vulnerability; who you were beneath the covers, before he gave a small nod.

He walked over to his dresser, pulled out one of his more casual shirts; one that was clean that he hadn’t worn in a good while, and walked over to you, standing in front of you as he helped gently tug the opening over your head, guiding your hands to the arm holes, adjusting it for you.

No words were exchanged, and none needed to be, not ad you both crawled into his bed under the blankets, and he enveloped you in an embrace; wings and arms wrapped around you with his head tucked into your neck.

And tonight, you knew for sure that you wouldn’t wake up cold and alone like that night so many weeks ago.

No, tonight, you didn’t need the warmth of passion or lust to keep you from the biting cold, now you had Azriel by your side, and that was more than enough.

[moominsuki]

12 DAYS and 20 HOURS WITHOUT YOU w/c: 5.1k - ; NAGUMO YOICHI x F!READER

✎ᝰ he’s a nuisance & you should be glad to be rid of him… so why does your heart ache for him so much? OR the part two in which you finally address your feelings for your hanger on ex.

࿄ ! warnings — porn WITH plot, MINORS DNI, piv, very explicit smut, unprotected sex (wrap up ppl), cunnilingus, fingering, female reader, nagumo is sexy and you will fall in love so pls keep that in mind.

/ note. i should be revising for my exams but instead i wrote this for a man who is severely underrated. it’s gonna be a nagumo fall. enjoy this anywho :P (ps. can be read as a standalone fic)!!

13 days. that’s how long it had been since you had seen nagumo. you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t eating you up inside.

after your small spat (if you could even call it that) you wrongfully assumed he’d be somewhere in your bedroom the next day when you hadn’t seen him on your couch. you were just about ready to scold him for having his feet all over your satin pillowcases.

only when you trudged upstairs, your bedroom was exactly how you left it. the door ajar, a small breeze from the window. pillows not askew. your sleepy kitten lounging on the covers.

at first, you considered yourself relieved. “good riddance,” you grumbled to yourself, falling atop the blankets and sighing, hands brushing at your pet. the chirp of the cicadas eats at your eardrums. has your home always been this quiet?

“whatever. knowing that idiot, he’ll be back in a day or two… now what to do…”

unfortunately for you, nagumo’s unprecedented drop ins had become part of your daily routine. you don’t become aware of the fact until it’s been exactly 4 days and he still hasn’t shown his face. it had already struck you as odd on the second day, let alone the fourth.

“why do you even care?” you ask yourself, standing under the hum of a sweltering shower. why do you care that your ex hasn’t come around to lounge in your home and bother you? in fact, isn’t this a good thing? the first few times it happened, you were irritated beyond belief - telling the man to get lost, locking your windows and doors only for nagumo to show up despite your barrage of insults, whether that’d be in your kitchen or on your couch or even in the shower (the image of seeing a naked nagumo after all this time was truly something, though you’d never admit it to his face, instead opting to throw a hard bar of soap at him and to which you then had to tend to his aching back after he so called “wept in pain.”) so why did he now decide to just ghost you?

“typical,” is all you can think, drying your hair off, eyes lingering on the razor he left on top of the toilet.

day five comes around. a good day at work with a cute man asking you out renders nagumo forgettable. you’re glad your brain decides it’s high time to forget about him. day six, seven, eight, nine. it’s extremely bearable. you start to see him in your dreams on the seventh day - exactly a week since he just up and left. “that’s normal,” you muse. you dream about people that aren’t in your life all the time. he’s no different.

the night of day ten falls. you’re incredibly exhausted, and you’re regretting making plans on saturday with that somewhat attractive man who works across the street. “it’s no biggie. it’s just one day till the weekend and i can cancel.”

you’re nodding off into your dinner. the warm smell of char siu and noodles doesn’t do much to keep you awake.

then you see him. dark brown eyes and a goofy smile to match. it makes you jump so hard you spill half the content of your meal down your shirt. nobody’s there. your cat sits at the leg of your chair, licking the sodden mess off of the ground.

the gravity of the situation dawns on you. you really really miss nagumo.

ᝰ ᝰ ᝰ ᝰ ᝰ

day eleven comes and goes and the twelfth drags, as do most fridays. that guy who asked you out the other day offers to drop you home when you’re standing outside. it’s warm out and you think a walk would be good for your head. you don’t decline his offer.

the man asks about you and confirms the details of your excursion, and you politely affirm, answering all his questions and asking them back just the same. “he’s not much of a talker,” you think. you’re not used to that.

by the time you’re home, you just want to pass out. you look around your kitchen, living room - heck, even the bathroom for safe measure, just in case you-know-who decided to drop by. the sound of metal clattering has you running to your bedroom, ventricles pumped. not that you cared… you’d act super cool and nonchalant if when nagumo drops by again. it’s all in vain, anyway. it was just your cat jumping onto your vanity. you shoo her away. your heart falls like a crescendo from loony tunes.

who exactly were you kidding? you had long dropped the facade that your heart wasn’t yearning for the idiot, and you wonder how he’s doing when you settle into bed. it would be unlike him to die in an unforeseeable accident, and he would never succumb to a death on the job. another looming realisation dawns on you.

he’s ignoring you.

you groan into your pillow. it’s not like you could really call him (you totally could, and it’s not because you noted down the digits of two of his burner phones, definitely not) without outing yourself. don’t forget the phone works two ways. forget it. you have a date tomorrow.

saturday comes. you get up relatively early. (un)fortunately for you, it’s a miserable day out, contrasting the beautiful weekdays that had passed.

your date texts you in teasing and sweet fashion and the pre-typed out message that consists of grovelling, apologies and more grovelling sits at your fingertips. fuck it. you can’t stay wound up over a man who probably didn’t want you in the first place.

you get ready very early, and you stare at yourself in the bathroom mirror, all done up in a silk to do and the accessories to match. it’s been a while since you’ve had a proper date. a few flings here and there, sure, but this seemed real. like a sure thing. similar to when…

!creaakkk!

your cat meowing and dropping things around in your bedroom has you standing up right, casting aside your lipgloss and running to shoo her away.

“honestly, ponyo, you’re such a drama queen-”

the words die on your tongue at the sight before you. nagumo sits at the edge of your bed, kitten fidgeting in his arms. he looks you up and down, and then he sends you an earth shattering smile, eyes crinkled.

“hey stranger. long time no see!”

your mouth opens and closes as he gets up, and ponyo leaps up and away when he places her on the ground.

“do you think she missed me? i think so. with the stuff you feed her, it’s inevitable-”

“are you serious?!” is all you can say, exasperated, gasping. nagumo’s eyes widen, and he sheepishly scratches the back of his head.

“don’t tell me you’re still mad at me? don’t make me get down on my knees and beg because-” the man gets cut off again as you all but throw your arms around his frame, face in his shirt, a little shaky. if nagumo feels the wobble of your body, he doesn’t mention it and a hand comes to rest at the small of your back.

“so can i assume that you’re not mad at me anymore?” you shake your head, and nagumo chuckles, nose pressed into your hair.

“i wasn’t mad at you,” you say, muffled into his shirt.

“oh? tell me more,” and you move your face slightly so your cheek is smushed against his shirt, eyes pointed away from him. though, you can already feel the expectant smile on the corner of his lips and you want to slap him. kiss him? both.

“i was mad at myself. and i was going to apologise for what i said but you basically ghosted me… for almost three weeks.”

it’s quiet for a moment until the man laughs, guffaws even and it emanates through his chest. you huff and step away from him, back turned away.

“ok, it’s not that funny. you can stop laughing now!”

“sorry, sorry. i’m done, i promise.” nagumo walks from behind you to step into your line of sight. “and technically, it’s only been… i wanna say 12 days and 20 hours.”

you deadpan. then you roll your eyes. “you were counting?! you’re unbelievable!” and he just pouts at you. eyes wide and shiny. you don’t admit to him that you’ve also been doing the same. that day’ll come.

“i mean, i would’ve come around sooner buttt! contrary to popular belief, i’m not so socially inept to not give you space. although, i was starting to think you were replacing me with that loser at that law firm. i want to say his name is hajime-”

“okay, not even close-”

“and what kind of idiot takes their woman out to a sushi bar on the first date. and he drives a toyota camri. he’s lame.”

“…first of all, i’m not his woman. how did you know i was going on a date tonight? and how do you even know what car he drives?”

“…let’s not sweat the details. that dress is new, right? haven’t seen it before. looks beautiful on you-”

“so not only were you spying on me but you were ignoring me?!” you fist the man by the collar of his coat and you just loll your head onto his chest. “were you always this crazy when we dated?” you hum and he laughs again. like he knows you’re addicted to the sound and how it makes your tummy ignite into something worse than flames. his hands find their way into his pocket and he shrugs.

“probably. but you liked it.” you don’t bother to contend. nagumo grabs you by the wrists, and takes a good look at you. his deep eyes follow the sliver of gold against your collarbones, all the way down to the hemming of your dress. it makes you feel hot under your heart shaped neckline.

“like the dress. like it a lot. wouldn’t waste it on some shitty sushi and cheap sake, though.”

“well it’s not you taking me out tonight though, is it? it’s…” you think for a second. you can feel the laughter blooming in his chest and you try to fight your way out of his grasp, though it’s in vain. nagumo laughs so hard that the pout on your face starts to pop into a smile and it’s infectious enough that you laugh too.

when the laughter inevitably dies down, you and the dark haired man share a look that you encompasses all the thoughts and emotions that have been swimming in your head the past long few days. he’s still holding you by the wrists, your fingers crinkling against the loose material of his shirt.

nagumo says your name, more so to himself as his tattooed hands stay wrapped from the width of your jewellery clad wrists down to your forearms.

“you’re being awfully touchy to a woman who’s supposed to being out on a date in a few hours,” you say, just above a whisper.

he hums at that, pulling you in further by the elbows. “i guess you’re right. you could always tell me to go away, though. wouldn’t be the first time.”

you groan audibly and he shoots you another grin that climbs its way into the wrinkles of your brain. “what do i have to do for you to not bring that up? and don’t make me get on my knees and beg-”

“damn, that was my first choice too!” you roll your eyes. he’s still holding you. your palms are flat against his chest. “i suppose i could call it even if…” nagumo pretends to ponder for a moment. you try to shove him with as much power as you can on the man.

“if you don’t just come out with it-”

“kiss me.”

the speed at which your eyebrows almost shoot into your hairline is unprecedented. you try to read his face for any sign of playful unfairness, but you’ve known him long enough to read the softness of his eyes.

your hands fist at his shirt again and it’s your turn to laugh at him, head thrown back. he pouts in response.

“you’re unbelievable,” and before he can retort, you lean up on your tip toes to do as he asked. he’s exactly how you remember, all those years ago. warm, sweet, slightly intoxicating. the sigh you release is shaky and he swallows it whole. the width of his palms immediately let go of your arms and find purchase on your waist and your hands travel all the same, resting on the planes of his face and neck.

the kiss is over before it started and you don’t even get a chance to breathe before nagumo is back on you, pulling you in by the hips, tongue slipping in comfortably like you’ve always been this way. and you give in, your body adapting to years old muscle memory. it’s like you’re almost a decade younger all over again, and your brain turns to mush when nagumo gropes you, grabbing all the parts he can to get impossibly closer to you.

you almost don’t notice the way he throws off his coat. and the fact that he’s trying to get you onto the bed. almost.

you protest in a breathy whine, breaking apart from locking lips. “we-i can’t. my date-”

“sucks. he sucks. i’ll take you wherever you want. buy you everything you want. just let me have you.”

you’re too out of it to even give a snarky answer, grabbing nagumo by the neck and pressing your lips to his own once more. he grunts, lightly pushing you both down onto the pillows.

he breaks apart from the kiss to lave more around your jaw, with one heavy hand resting on your cheek while he bruises on your neck, clavicle and the top of your breasts, all heavy and imposing. you writhe in his touch, and you can’t help the fact that your thighs start to rub against each other to soothe the heat arising in your core.

as perceptive as ever, nagumo quickly notices and makes fast work of placing his leg between your own, and you can’t help but breathe out a winded “yoichi.”

he groans, smirking against your collarbone. “missed hearing you say that.”

you huff, pushing his hands down the curves of your body. “don’t push your luck, nagumo.”

he chuckles, unfazed, and smooth, deft fingers climb under the hem of your satiny dress. he hikes your dress high enough to see a flash of damp cotton panties.

he presses a digit against your clothed clit and you can’t control the way your head falls against your pillows, mouth falling open as you whine out his name again.

nagumo halts all movement though, pushing himself backwards to lean further onto his knees off the bed. you practically jump up, confused and stupidly horny.

“strip for me.”

you narrow your eyes. he shoots you a saccharine smile, and you don’t bother to banter with him, getting on your haunches and pulling down a thin strap on either arm, and shimmying out of the garment. you can tell by the elated shock in nagumo’s eyes that he hadn’t expected you to comply but you throw the dress in his face, and he shakes it off faster than you can adjust yourself on top of the bed covers. he’s already crowding over you, face mere centimetres away.

“sorry, you can’t be the only one having your fun,” you tease, leaning up to kiss his nose and it’s his turn to not take your bait, but maybe it’s because he’s too enamoured at the sight of your naked body after all this time. a tattooed hand reaches up to grab a handful of your boob, pinching slightly at your nipple and the other makes it descent down to the hemming of your panties. his fingertips dip into the front, pushing the material to the side and he groans when he can see the way your pussy clenches over nothing.

“you’re so pretty,” he sighs, and you watch the way he touches you, featherlight and it has you writhing, inching closer to feel more of his touch.

“patience, baby.” nagumo throws off his shirt, and you take in the expanse of his never ending tattoos. your hand reaches up to touch the one on his stomach and he smirks, albeit warm and slightly teasing.

“got a few new ones a couple months back,” he all but whispers and you hum.

“i like them,” you state, matter of factly and he pushes your hand away to lay on his stomach between your legs.

nagumo’s face presses into your belly, and you push a few fingers into the dense strands of his hair. he kisses you at the belly button, paving a wet path down to your moist underwear.

he noisily smooches on your panty clad clit and you wordlessly protest in embarrassment, groaning and whining while he smiles against you. though, you’re quick to stop complaining when he pushes your panties to the side and breathes you in, kissing your uncovered pubis. now you’re frantically trying to push him away instead.

“you’re so shameless,” you fuss and nagumo doesn’t say anything. he only pushes your legs further apart to accommodate him.

“can i eat you out?” he asks and you raise a brow, face flushing. he shrugs, “i wanna hear you say it.”

you want to insult him for trying to fluster you in his own weird way but you’re also stupidly, ridiculously turned on right now that you can’t be bothered to play this cat and mouse game.

your hands cover your face and you mumble ever so quietly, verbatim: “please eat me out.”

“can’t hear you, sweetheart. come on, you can’t possibly be acting all shy. my face is literally in your-”

“just please eat me out!” you say, exasperated and incensed by the burning desire to have his mouth on you.

nagumo doesn’t mess with you any further but he can’t help the snicker that escapes him. you’re also ready to call him names and berate him, unfortunately being the hot head that you are, but it’s a useless act because nagumo already has your pants down your legs and strewn across the room somewhere, and he’s immediately pressing a sloppy, wet kiss on your love button.

a strangled “yoichi!” escapes from your throat and you’re already helplessly weaving between the strands of his black hair. it only goads him on further, and your head struggles to keep itself up when he thumbs at the hood of your clit, lifting it up to suck at the bundle of nerves. you become one with the plush pillows beneath you once again.

nagumo’s tongue soothes and pokes around, sucking and kissing at all the sensitive parts of your flower. he lifts one leg up higher to allow him more access, and you lock your fingers on top of his hand that grips ardently at the tender skin of your thigh. you have no time to react when you feel two fingers press into your cunt hole, and you chant his name like a mantra, gasping and almost tearful from the way he feels.

you can feel his dark brown eyes on you, and he stops tasting you to bite your inner thigh. you yelp, and he lulls over where he indented you with his teeth.

“you’re close, right? want you to look at me when you cum,” is all he says, and you don’t get to reply when he’s back sucking your pearl into his mouth, pressing his fingers against a certain spot inside you that has your legs trying to close in on themselves around his head.

“f-fuck, ‘ichi, i’m gonna cum,” you moan, and per his request, your eyes stay on his own, and you tuck your bottom lip between your teeth, the applied pressure stopping you from falling back and losing it.

“say my name like that again,” he groans, and you don’t fail to notice the way he grinds against the bed ever so slightly. “come on, baby, you’re almost there-”

“hnngh, fuck, right there ‘ichi, ‘m cumming-,” you gasp and a flash of white behind your eyes renders you temporarily paralytic, eyebrows furrowed and mouth opened in an ‘o’, and the grip on nagumo’s hair tightens. he keeps a firm hand on your thigh, and your heart would burst at the romantic gesture of him interlocking your fingers together at literally any other time, but he doesn’t stop his assault on the spongey spot inside you until you go limp and you practically have to pry the man off of you.

nagumo’s no sadist (to you, at certain times) so he stops, pulling back and watching the way your chest heaves and the way you glisten between your upper thighs. you don’t register that he’s next to you again until you feel nimble fingers touching on your lower belly. you open your eyes to look at him, and the full blown lust in his eyes makes you choke a little bit.

you grab his hand off your stomach to kiss his fingertips, and then you’re clambering on top of him, palms splayed against his decorated chest. you feel the thickness of his hard cock pressed against your wet core, and you grind against the strained material of his trousers. nagumo grunts, head falling back slightly as he immediately finds purchase on your ass.

“you’re hard,” you assert, and he laughs a little breathlessly and it breaks off into a moan when you press down on him a little harder.

“i guess i am,” he rustles, squeezing your lower curves to push you against his stiffness. “you should let me put it in.”

“oh? is that so?” you say, taunting the man as you slide up and down his neglected cock that’s begging to be released from its confines.

“yeah… wanna fuck you, baby.” nagumo’s all heavy eyelids and suave lips as he gazes up at you, hands all touching all over you. you’re heating up from his languid touches, and you’re cursing yourself for already being so raring to go after he ate you to his heart’s content.

“okay,” is all you say, and you shimmy backwards to undo the man’s bottoms, unbuttoning his pants and helping him kick them off till he’s left in tight gray boxer briefs. your eyes find the damp patch on the front of his shorts, and you softly finger the head of his cock through the cloth. nagumo grunts, sighing your name when you waste no time pulling down his underwear to reveal him in all his glory.

“didn’t that hurt?” you wonder out loud, more to yourself if anything, and nagumo realises you’re referring to the tattoo above his pelvis, only shy of the dark trail that nests above his erection. he places a hand over your wandering one and he chuckles.

“a little. nothing i can’t handle.” you make a noise of something, and you lean down to kiss him very gently and so very close to where he wants. nagumo groans, and he reaches down to pet your hair.

“another time,” you wink, biting your lip. nagumo smiles, raising a brow and he looks like he wants to ask you what you mean but you’re ahead of the curve and you’re settling back up on his lower body, your soaked heat brushing and sliding against his cock. he’s putty after that, head in the clouds as he feels the drench of your lips rub against the hardness of his cock.

“tell me you want it,” you say, and you stop looking down to where you’re almost conjoined to meet nagumo’s eyes; his face contorted to something readable only to you. “or, you know, you could just cum like this.”

nagumo moans at that, and he sets a heavy handed grab on your ass. “don’t remember you being such a tease, baby, sh-shit.”

you croon at his words. you don’t stop the ministrations of your grinding and the raven haired man beneath you barely puts out until the slick of your cunt hole catches the mushroom shaped tip of his cock.

“fuck, i want it, baby, want you to cream on me-” and you don’t let him finish his vulgarity because you grab him at the base of his cock and settle yourself right on top of him, inch by inch.

nagumo hisses, and his iron grip on your hips doesn’t subside until he’s all the way inside you. you both simultaneously moan in relief when he’s by the hilt, and you can practically feel him all the way in your throat.

“fucking missed this so much,” he keens, and you feel him raise his knees to accommodate to you better. you slowly get the rhythm going, grinding and gently bouncing on his dick and you’re delirious at the way his pubic hair brushes against your swollen clit, and how you can feel the slap of his weighted balls against your ass.

nagumo plants his feet on the bed, refusing to loosen his grip on you and you can’t even bring yourself to care about the bruises that’ll stay depressed into your skin. you move one of his number decorated hands to grab at your chest, which he complies with and the other stabilises you against him so that he can thrust into you at a steady pace.

“so, so good,” you whine, almost falling forward by the jolt of nagumo’s body. you plant both arms on either side of his head, tits bouncing in his face, going back and forth against his open mouth that tries to catch a pebbling nipple.

taunting words leave his mouth as he watches you try to keep up. “feel good, baby? shit. tell me how it feels, y-yeah? you like it when i fuck you like this, huh?”

you clench around him tighter. “hnnngh, so fuc-fucking good, ‘ichi.”

you lean down on your elbows, and while he bucks up into you, his eyes don’t stray, and when your lips follow the sharp lines of his jaw and press on his jugular, nagumo angles his head so you can sloppy kiss him on the mouth.

it’s like that for a few moments until he stops to throw you off of him, and you’re ready to whine and complain, but he’s already on you again, this time on top.

“gotta take my time with you,” he breathes, and he finds a new position, this time pulling your left leg over his shoulder and spreading the right one to fit around his hips.

“is that code for you were gonna cum too fast?” you giggle, and nagumo doesn’t grace your playful ribbing because he slips back into you and your once teasing laughter breaks off into a deep moan of pleasure.

“don’t make fun of me,” he says, feeding his cock into you at an achingly slow rate, “hurts my feelings.” and you want to call him embarrassing and silly, you really do, but your heart is on your tongue and nagumo overcrowds every part of your senses.

nagumo leans over you, and grinds himself inside your compact walls. his face is in the crook of your neck and he teethes at the tender skin. you throw a callous hand in hand to satiate the hunger in your belly.

the unrelenting pace in which he fucks you is downright insane: all you can think about is him, all you can smell and taste is him. when you open your eyes, he’s looking down at you, holding and stretching you open, spitting not-so-sweet nothings at you. you worship him all the same, crying out his name, begging him to take you harder and faster, nails raking across the width of his back.

“you’re s-so, hah, shit, you’re so gorgeous,” he moans, “not gonna last, f-fuck.”

you’re almost there, teetering on the finish line, so nagumo ever so slightly adjusts his position, and he presses his cock head against that point inside you. you’re weightless in his hold, writhing when he reaches down to rub taut circles against your puffy pearl. it’s enough to make you sob, gasp and cry out a throaty “‘ichi!”, back arching, toes curling.

nagumo takes a hardened nipple into his mouth, bruising against the creamy flesh of your tits. his speed and movement becomes sloppy, rushing to the edge, the echoes of skin slapping against each other. your tearful face and your short winded begging (“cum inside me, yoichi” and “want you to fill me up”) in the midst of your intra-climatic hue are enough to get him to empty out hot inside of you, his eyebrows furrowed and an o-shape taking over the soft shine of his mouth.

you pull yourself up by the hand on the back of his scruff to kiss him wetly, tongue and all and he takes it, moaning and cursing out your name while pushing his seed deep inside you.

it’s quiet except for mingling, heavy breaths and the creak of your bed when nagumo falls on top of you. you squeak in protest, trying to push the lug of a man off.

“get off me you big idiot!” you squeal, and you feel his body shaking while he’s closed in on you.

“you’re nice and warm,” he sighs, “think i could stay like this for a good, couple of hours.”

you scoff. your hand reaches up to pet at his damp hair. nagumo smiles against your clavicle.

“do you think i still have time to go on that date?” you say, all forlorn and nagumo’s head shoots up, in which you laugh at the way his face contorts. he grumbles, and he eases out of you slowly. you hiss, but the grin on your face stays all the same.

“you think you’re so funny,” nagumo dryly contends and you sit up, kissing him on the nose.

“what can i say? learnt from the best,” you reply, just to the point where only he can hear you.

you think he’s so ridiculously easy (you won’t ever tell him that) when he returns your grin, and grabs your face to kiss you, all over you cheeks and lips.

“damn right, baby, damn right.”

EXTRA, EXTRA - read all about it:

“by the way, what did you mean when you said i owed you one?”

nagumo pulls his head from your chest, tv blaring and illuminating his puzzled, adorable expression, a piece of popcorn dangling from his mouth. his face turns blank as he ponders. then it’s like a lightbulb switches on above his head.

“oh, i fed ponyo and let her out onto the balcony but that old man saw me and i convinced him that he was seeing things so he wouldn’t call the cops… you’re welcome!”

“you did WHAT?!”

࿄ ! — all rights reserved © MOOMINSUKI 2024. please do not copy, translate, repost nor recommend my work outside of tumblr. this is strictly prohibited.

[merakiui]

the idea of twst boys and a virgin! reader who acts like they done the act before, they are that one friend who takes the opportunity to make a dirty joke but get all shy when ppl asked if they held hands with someone

The shy virgin (darling) versus the (semi-)confident virgin (Floyd).......... Floyd who never explicitly states that he's a virgin, but you assume he's not because he's so loud and social and so he probably knows all kinds of people and has had all kinds of experiences in the bedroom.

Maybe Floyd never had much interest in sex because he's so enthralled with other parts of land and human culture (shoes, parkour, basketball, etc), but that changes when he meets you and he gets to know you and suddenly you're all he's thinking about and....... he's down tremendously bad for you. He may seem confident with his touches and behaviors, which you might think are all just Floyd being Floyd, but Floyd cannot flirt to save his life and every time he finds himself in a situation where he may be able to confess or kiss you (or do more) he's running away. >_< he can't lie either because he and his bodily cues are terribly honest, so he just evades questions or answers really vaguely if any of them are about things like who his crush is or if he even has a crush. orz

But then it works with you being so shy because he has a field day teasing you for it. >:D maybe you tell him you've never held hands with anyone in that way (romantically) before and he slides his hand into yours and says, "Lemme change that for Shrimpy," all with that goofy grin, but what you don't know is that his heart is racing. AAAAAAA he's so thrilled and so nervous, which is an odd combination because he's never had to feel so awkward around others before. But this awkwardness comes from a different place because he's in love with you. Floyd is mostly confident until he has to actually confront his feelings for you and he has no idea how to do that because he doesn't want to ruin the friendship he has with you if it turns out you don't feel the same.

[gffa]

saw someone say "dickbabs is bad cuz they're written as a stereotype of smart nerd/dumb jock which is a disservice to their characters" and its so weird cuz i cant think of any comics where they're written that way?? like the best comics of them are the ones where they're working on cases together combining both of their strengths and resources to solve crime and theres plenty of those.

also i've noticed so many dickbabs antis have a problem with barbara's intelligence in general which is odd to me. esp when dick himself is never intimidated nor threatoned by it and its sad. its like ppl claim to like girlboss/malewife couples but then when there's actually a couple that displays that dynamic in a way that matters and isnt just based on appearance or physical traits its too much and they back out!

I just wish certain Dickbabs antis would stop putting their "why this other pairing is so much better than DickBabs" stuff in the #dickbabs tag, like you are not helping me think better of your competing ship with that kind of behavior, it just comes off as so desperate to be mad that other people like something you wish they wouldn't like. Otherwise, I don't really wander into spaces that aren't into the things I'm into, because I'd much rather spend my time yelling about why I DO love the thing I love, so in that vein, LET ME TELL YOU WHY I LOVE DICKBABS SO MUCH. (To be clear, it's perfectly fine not to like the ship or like it in a different way, we'll still get along fine! It's not the sum total of EITHER character's role in the comics, there's plenty to talk about them without getting into this relationship! I'm just not here for those who need to go out of their way to shove it in my face that they don't like the ship, but disliking it and staying in your lane--as many, many lovely people do! the majority I would even say!--is of course fine.) (To further clarify, I don't know the context of the original post mentioned here, it's not part of anything I'm speaking of, this is purely about trying to shove it in others' faces, not about how other people interpret ships differently from me while staying in their own lanes. So I'm probably not speaking about the original post whatsoever here!) For me, I think the heart of their bigger relationship is built on their mutual support for each other, that they each have established themselves individually and have their own books and their own time in the spotlight, but they keep gravitating towards each other because they're better and stronger and more fun together. That each of them gladly takes their turn being the support for the other, because that's what relationships do! And they do it with such love, like-- I love them because they've known each other so long that they really get each other, they get that the other isn't perfect, and they've made the choice to be with that person even when their issues have thorns. Like, I loved everything about their conversation in Nightwing #96:

That is exactly what he needed to hear--she wasn't being cruel or dismissive of his issues, she wasn't even really being mean about the issues he picked up from Bruce, because she's right, Bruce does have some really shit traits that he passed on to his eldest. She's not saying that either he or Bruce are bad for it, she's just accepting that it's part of the man she loves and she'll cut through it with him because he's worth any effort it would take to be with him. I love that she laughs right in his face about breaking up, because that's not cruel or dismissive either, it's just Dick being ridiculous and sometimes it's part of his charm and they've always teased each other--the thing is, it's also always followed up with warmth and care, she asks him point blank, are you happy with me? Because you are allowed to be happy. I'm allowed to be happy and I'm happy with you, you're worth dying for, let's do this together. Or I love their earlier dynamic in the Batgirl comic as well, just after Bruce and Selina's failed marriage (this is before they got back together, like in the above):

I love SO MUCH that Babs isn't sure that she necessarily wants a marriage any time soon, she doesn't trust yet that it could last, but what she does want is someone who would be there if she needed them, that at this point in time she feels like moments are all any of them are allowed to have, so what she wants is someone who will always answer when she calls. At this point, she's afraid to commit because she doesn't feel like they get that kind of thing, she's afraid of her own feelings, that really gets hammered in during the Death Knight storyline where they're fighting against the end of the world, the collapsing of the multiverse, and Bruce is tired of their bickering, so he tells them to just "skip to the end", which is basically, Dick wants to symbolically marry her, but she's afraid because she doesn't want her feelings for him to get in her way, she's terrified of losing him again:

But he's there for her, he says that it's just for tonight, he can put it aside when they need to, and later he'll win her back. This is who Dick and Babs are to me--they dance around each other because their feelings are so intense and sometimes it feels like they're on different pages (Dick's a romantic who wants to get married someday and knows it, she isn't sure she wants marriage but something less defined), but then you dig into it a bit and realize they are on the same page, it's just that their costumed lives, the traumas they've both lived through, make them scared of that level of intensity. And that's why Babs being the one to say, once they're together, no, we're happy together, we're allowed to be happy together, is so important. It's why she refuses to not come along with when Dick is going to the founding of the Alfred Pennyworth Foundation and doesn't take his shit about trying to keep her safe in Nightwing #88.

Because they take turns supporting each other, they take turns being the one to say I love you so much that I would fight the world for you, that they make each other stronger and shore each other up. Even before they got back together, they supported each other and were always there to listen, to joke around to lighten the mood, to just be a friendly ear without expectations of anything else:

Plus, they are adorable when they're flirting:

DICK'S IDEA OF A HOT DATE IS A NIGHT ON THE SOFA IN SWEATPANTS, EATING POPCORN, AND WATCHING THEIR FAVORITE SHOW. HE UNDERSTANDS HER, OKAY.

Ultimately, I love them because sometimes she goes to him. Sometimes he goes to her. Sometimes she cuts through his bullshit with love. Sometimes he cuts through her bullshit with love. They're always there for each other, even when they're not together. They have a blast flirting with each other. They're both aware of the other being a hot mess sometimes, but they know that's part of the person they love and deal with it. They're partners.

[1218-814]

Jade Leech Analysis and Theories

Again this is for myself, loosely based off of what other ppl think, but he's my kin so I may be biased

requested by @thehollowwriter

His actual Personality (Iced Tea Theory) and his hobby

No one has actually gotten Jade's trust and trusted him back. He's desperately trying though, but he's not getting the right idea of how. His actual personality is frozen, but the only one that comes the closest to helping him is surprising: Kalim Al-Asim.

For Jade, you have to dump a ton of sugar (sweet love) into the tea.

Remember what he said in response to the tea?

"It feels like all my teeth will fall out."

What is Jade's unique magic written as?

"The teeth that bite."

I'm going to call Jade's actual personality iced tea for this reason.

Also, the mushrooms are a metaphor, as well as Jack’s cacti, for personality. Jack and the Octavinelle trio are from a cold place, Jack comes from the snowy region and Octavinelle comes from the icy ocean. Cacti grow poorly in cold places, which equals undeveloped Jade, which needs some sun and warm air to grow. It’s odd how suddenly there’s the story about a cactus and the detailed reason just to go to the greenhouse. And how much they emphasized that Jack is from a snowy country.

Jack said that he wanted to get his cactus some light in the greenhouse, and Octavinelle showed up, together, which is weird to me. 

Maybe this is what happened in the even (as in odd or even) chapters with Octavinelle. Ace and Deuce don’t seem to have memories of Atlantica Museum, and other positive things in that arc. Maybe the one who blotted was Jade? (There are different plot lines if you look closely, wasn’t it odd that you see how Malles was feared in the main story, but not in Halloween events? Even in part 5 how Ace and Deuce were like “long time no see” when you saw them before the end of 4?)

I think even at this point, his clinginess hasn’t resolved; so Azul and Floyd are accepting it, saying to him “Let’s change it little by little”. I mean it’s hard for someone like Jade, who lives for someone else to be just told “live for yourself!”.

I mean Azul asks him what he should do when Jack ruined his mushrooms; which I assume is letting him decide what he wants to do, as a part of helping him live his own life.

Jade talks to someone he doesn’t know from him, and the mushrooms are near a “sunny place” (with cloth). Azul insults him with a serious face and Floyd calls them “mushrooms” not “shitake”. Jade being in the middle is especially the weirdest. This is highly unlike them, and I think they want to “face Jade properly more”. 

Jade fake cried, which I assume is a form of therapy; even if it’s fake, it’s teaching him “that it’s okay to cry, tell us your feelings”.  Yes, even if Jack worked at Mostro Lounge, he has no merit, but Floyd said “Yeah let’s do that.”, which is a really good response because if he said that he would have no merit, the situation would go back to “listening to others, instead of yourself”.

He dragged the whole thing, and Floyd oddly didn’t complain about it, and he touched Jack’s ears. I think he wanted to do that from the beginning, and he didn’t go “Oya oya Floyd” and ignore his own thoughts/opinion. And Floyd said that they were “Jade’s treasure”, as opposed to in Jade’s lab coat when he said to throw it away.

Jade's heart is expressed as teeth, something sharp/hard and protected, and in Jack's lab coat story, I also assume the reason why they put the mushrooms in a sunny place is that it's a metaphor for Jade's real self-being "defrosted." Remember what Jack did? He threw Jade’s mushrooms away. I think this is expressing what people have done to him; the softest part of his heart is trampled and thrown away "for the time being" and "somehow" Jack and Jade are on opposite teams on Beans Day, probably because Jack is Jade's "Night", but Azul is Jade's "Day".

Jade wants to be defrosted by Azul, and that's why his relationship with him is co-dependent.

Jades and diamonds are kind of similar in a way; Diamonds are the toughest stone but are brittle. Jades are not as hard and easy to scratch, but they have a very strong toughness and are hard to break. (Cater and Jade)

Jade and his little… attachment Issues

Jade is so silly,  we all know he’s lowkey psychotic and loves Azul but he himself most likely doesn’t. I personally relate to him heavily and know most likely what he is thinking so let me explain his attachment to Azul. Think of Jade as a little child, or Ariel from the little mermaid, but she’s, like, 190 cm.

Do you know those people that are attached to one person? Jade is basically that with Azul, but a little hard (?) to tell. So you know how I said that Jade grows mushrooms because Azul praised him once for it? That is why he has that attachment; this goes for why he takes care of Floyd, it's something that he was praised for, something that gives him an “identity”.

He visibly sighs during flying classes, which reflects how it’s a very weak point for him while he’s very good at other things, so when he can’t do something less than another person can, it makes him stand out more. No praise no gain.  I know this is probably harder for people who aren’t like Jade to understand but basically, if you get praised by someone that you think understands you about something that you didn’t really know about yourself, you are like “Oh I didn’t know that!”. However, what he doesn’t know is that Azul doesn’t really understand Jade as much as Jade thinks. So when Azul says he’s someone that is “good at getting into people’s comfort”, he doesn’t really mean it as praise, but Jade takes it as one. His thought process is basically “If Azul, someone who I trust has good judgment because he always knows what people desire and what their weak points are, then there is no doubt that I am a bad guy who puts on a gentle and humble mask.”, and he believes that fake identity (also kinda gullible) as is. 

To Azul, he doesn’t trust Jade because he appears to have no desires that are to be gained through his contracts. It's fake but in a self-protection-type way. That illusion that he makes for himself makes him look strong, but deep down he is a very sensitive child. And that is why he became so attached to the little crybaby who spews out ink; he thinks they are the same in how sensitive and scared they are. Both haven’t been like this from the beginning, and that’s why Jade doesn’t fear the scheming personality of Azul. This also could apply to why he is okay with Trey (who is like him, but nice (?) and why he isn’t as close with Vil (who is someone who was born strong and honest about himself). Azul doesn’t notice because of hits low self-esteem

Just on a side note, I think Jade hates people who write stuff like this. This is a call-out post to some of the Jade kins out there. AKA me

~~~

I pulled this one out of the grave too

This is a small chunk of Octa, the google doc I have is 50+ pages

They're like a lot of context needed bc I post my old posts out of order so if there's a request, I am willing to pull those out

[ooppo]

It's kinda sad that illnesses like schizophrenia/bipolar/other psychotic disorders are seen as boogeymen illnesses. Not saying that I don't understand where ppl come from cuz I was one of those people for sure before I was told that I literally had one of the above disorders. It's just unfortunate ignorance. No one is taught what these disorders are really like or what they actually look like.

With disorders like bipolar those are 1/100 chance odds, which are actually the exact same as Autism. There are as many bipolar people as there are autistic people, and it's sad to me that most people with that disorder can't feel like they can talk openly about it. Schizophrenia is only 1/300.

It's an entirely different world that I had to get used to after knowing what I had been dealing with had a name. That I had to conceal it from employers and peers in fear of discrimination and judgement, or how I realized that people are always going to think that you are instantly a bad person because of it. I can't tell you how much it hurt when I told a friend about my diagnosis and I saw them look at me with fear.

I hope that people can see this and understand that people suffering are just that, regardless of label. It's a silent disability that is still highly discriminated against in a world that promotes mental health.

[byersfanclub]

call it controversial, I'm speaking my mind and if you don’t agree with me then so be it, atp idc what ppl may think about my opinion on this matter but as someone who views mike wheeler as a closeted gay person, meaning mlm, he is a boy who likes other boys and that’s it then I’m also someone who believes mike has never had actual romantic feelings for el at ANY point in the show. I don’t sit around and harass people who believe otherwise. 

mike is not even the FIRST person to show el kindness once she escaped the lab, it’s benny hammond. mike is the second person to truly show el some kindness and basic human decency by allowing her into his home and getting her clean, dry clothes. it’s something I hope anyone would do for anyone in that sort of situation BUT don’t forget it’s also mike’s idea to “send her back to pennhurst or wherever she came from” and comes up with the plan on the spot right then and there to have her go out the back door and knock on the front door and his mom will figure out what to do. they never had any plans on keeping el around until they found out she knew who will was, that he was alive and that she had fucking superpowers. I get kinda sick of ppl trying to twist this around. this is factual, it’s not some anti-m1leve3n thing ppl made up, it is canon. to say mike never wanted to get rid of el at first is just a straight up lie, his main priority was finding will, but he wasn’t going to be an asshole and leave a girl outside in the pouring rain.  

all mike cares about in s1 is finding will. I find it odd that some ppl don’t believe this, whether you think he could have grew a crush on el or not. he literally starts to disassociate, begs to help look for him, sneaks out of his home at night, bikes home and sobs into his moms arms when he thinks will is dead, is outright RUDE to el afterwards until she proves that will is still alive. 

both Lucas and Nancy say things that try to allude to mike liking el, which literally has nothing to fucking do with the plot of s1 AT ALL and they literally have no scenes that I can genuinely go back and look at and be like “aww that's so cute and romantic, I hope they’ll kiss and end up together” 

their kiss was never scripted and it wasn’t even meant to happen, it was something millie suggested and its funny that they chose to do it right after she asks if mike will be like her fucking BROTHER and he goes “no, well, I guess it’s sort of the same” like my brother in christ in what world is a date/boyfriend the same as a brother? he’s not stupid, even 12 year olds know the difference between a brother and a boyfriend. I genuinely think it’s because mike has never CARED about that sort of thing before, because he’s just a kid who wants to play games with his friends, uninterested in girls and dating in general. 

so, when I say that mike unintentionally uses el as his “beard” it’s not meant to be insulting towards el, because el is also using mike to try and be a normal girl. they are both just trying to be normal when both of them know they AREN’T. 

el is the first girl not immediately grossed out by mike, it’s because she doesn’t view him as anything other than a person, she’s not thinking about him romantically at all, she’s a 12 yr old girl that just escaped being in a scientific lab her whole life, romance isn’t going to be on the forefront of her mind, she probably doesn’t even know wtf romantic love even is. you think they’re showing Casablanca in the Hawkins national lab? I don’t think so. 

s2 shows mikes lack of interest in girls even more, and ppl using the reasoning that its because he “loves el” like idk how to tell you this, he knew her FOR ONE WEEK and she barely spoke the entire time and mike was focused on will all of s1. be so for real. really. his lack of interest in girls comes in the form of things more subtle like the dragons lair scene, which has mike and will off to the side, blank faced as dustin and lucas sort of duel for princess daphne. then there’s more upfront moments like mike being completely uninterested in max, while even will seems to be at least a little curious about her (ofc not romantically like dustin and lucas) 

don't even get me started on mikes monologue to will in s2 being 10x more romantic than mike’s “love confession” monologue in s4 which fell flat on 90% of the audience (on purpose, I see u duffers)

the snowball scene isn’t meant to be a romantic scene for m1lev3n but it gets interpreted as one because of they way they film it, and it’s literally done that way ON PURPOSE. they are tricking you, me, the entire audience into believing mike is so upset because el isn’t there. but his reactions to will getting asked to dance and afterwards (with dustin also being upset over Lucas and max) are clear. then they show us Nancy asking dustin to dance along with el showing up to the snowball to dance with mike? 

The ending of s2 solidified mike using el as a cover for his queerness, to be normal, because he was aware that he was DIFFERENT. this is why m1lev3n is so insufferable to people in s3 because its written to be insufferable. they don’t want you to like it. to finally see mike and el as a couple? it’s annoying, ppl don’t like it, the characters themselves are over it and even el herself. 

then there’s will and mikes fight scene which is 10x more breakup coded than m1lev3ns ACTUAL breakup? bro had mike sobbing and throwing up as he biked across town in the pouring rain to apologize, meanwhile all mike did was eat Doritos and burp while complaining abt el breaking up with him, calling her a different species and such. he didn’t actually care deep down, it was more annoying and frustrating that she broke up with him than emotional because he didn’t love her romantically, he’s just mad that he lost his cover that keeps him appearing as normal as possible. 

the ending of s3 solidifies to me that el is ALSO using mike to be and feel normal, because they’d been broken up for months at this point and she suddenly feels the need to kiss him and tell him she loves him too? while mike literally tries to avoid remembering the shit he said earlier in the season, because he didn’t mean it and if he did, he wouldn’t have acted the way he fucking did in s4. BFFR. el only wanted mike back because she lost hopper. 

hoppers letter is meant to be familiar love between el and hopper and it’s meant to allude to the growing romantic tension between mike and will as well, in stranger things, there’s double, triple, quadruple meanings to everything and this is one of them. mike KNOWS he does not love el, he knows this in s2, he knows this during s3, he knows this coming into s4. mike is desperate to not lose her as his cover because as much as mike is “himself” back in Hawkins, he still can’t stop thinking about will because Hawkins isn’t the same without him. he knows he’s thinking about will too much, that he worries about el so much because he’s unable to face his true feelings that he has for will and not her and mike believes that el genuinely loves him (she doesn’t). 

this brings me to believe their official split is going to be a lot more mutual than ppl believe. el has come to terms that her and mike are over during nina, I believe el suspects/knows that mike is gay/likes will. their sbp talk paralleling jack and joey from Dawsons creek is almost too spot on for it not to mean something, especially to know will still pining and jealous over them right after it. 

in conclusion, im tired of pretending I ever thought mike and el were ever a cute ship, they weren’t. there was no spark between them for me and many others. it was like they were being forced into my face and I think the duffers did this with so much intention. not only did they straightbait robin and steve so well, but them “shoving” a straight ship into our face in the way mainstreams shows get criticized by homophobes for gay ships. it’s no wonder one of their favorite shows is Dawsons creek. 

mike wheeler is gay and never liked el. el hopper got caught up in mike’s internal conflict and also latched onto him for a sense of security and to feel like a normal teenage girl. 

fin. 

[golbrocklovely]

That’s exactly what i meant. You voiced it perfectly. I personally do not know how to feel about Malia, but that feeling is only coming from a place of not knowing much about her, because she isn’t really a public person like snc or even Katrina are. She just enjoys her time on social media, but for the most part she is hella private person and hey. I respect that, cause looking how people are on Internet, it makes very much sense to want to protect yourself from them (also your relationship, cause many relationships that were public ones - i mean in a way that they constantly would post eo and their daily lives on socials, eventually would break up). I don’t like her, but i also do not hate her. And if Colby is happy with her or even loves her, then i am happy for them and wish them all the best. I mean it would be weird to call yourself a fan and not be happy when your idol is happy.

And on the other hand, Shea and Colby shippers are more annoying than Solby shippers.

i agree with you. i think it's one of those things that fans can't accept bc in their minds, they have control over colby and his decisions. mostly bc for a long time, when fans would tell him to jump, he would respond with "how high". but for a little over a year now it seems as if he doesn't plan on listening to fans like that anymore, and i think that's for the best in the long run anyway.

bc he gave them so much power, they thought they controlled him or had say over what he chose to do, which just isn't the case.

the problem also is, so many fans (shea shippers and more) expect him to be with one of three ppl: shea, stas, or amber. or a rare fourth one, a fan of some sort. it's odd how many fans want this y/n fantasy to play out either via themselves or the holy trinity as me and my friends refer to them as lol

anyone outside of that is a no go.

so when malia came into the picture, and she wasn't what fans expected or wanted, they thought they had a say in telling colby to break up with her. and not only that, they thought she was just another fling of his. but when that didn't work, they went ballistic. which is why for months the hate for her and him has upticked to a level i never expected. like i knew when he got a gf, fans would lose it. but this is a different level altogether.

i personally don't love or hate malia, but i would say i have more positive feelings for her rather than negative.

at the end of the day, regardless of how any of us feel, colby is happy. you can lie to yourself all you want bc he doesn't smile in pics or bc they look too posed in their pictures. it doesn't matter. he loves malia, that's is abundantly clear. and you have to accept that and his decision to be with her. and if you can't, you're not a fan of him. i'm not saying you gotta love malia, but hating her will do literally nothing. so just accept it and move on. and if you can't, leave. it's honestly that simple.

(tbh anyone that heavily ships him with someone that isn't his gf is equally annoying in my eyes, but i getchu lol)

[oddeyevibes]

Turns out I had too many questions in hindsight🫠🫠

(Spoiler heavy questions)

I was lowkey hoping that they would all get reborn but through ordinary means and without powers. Like their existence wasn’t really the problem, the marigold in them was and they didn’t choose for their moms to get pregnant, right?

So why wouldn’t it have made more sense for them to still be born under normal human circumstances and have them live normal lives without the trauma of being Umbrellas/Sparrows?

Also, I hate that Sloane was just gone. Like Luther finally finds someone who matches him and she now doesn’t exist anymore and we’re just supposed to be okay with that??????

There’s just so many questions that didn’t get answered. Like how did they find Allison?? Why doesn’t Sloane or any of the other Sparrows exist but Sparrow!Ben does? And for that matter, why does Lila still exist then if this is an Umbrellas only party??

If Lila’s parents are still kicking then are the Umbrella’s moms still alive? Did neither of them want to meet their moms or was it always just Klaus? (I know why Lila’s parents died but if they’re deaths were undone then who else’s death was undone?)

Where did Jennifer even come from? Was she a similar odd birth like the 43? Or did she just spawn in the squid?? Like I feel a longer season would’ve allowed us at least an episode to learn about her more. She lived and died as a plot device more than a character. Like why is she always in the squid???

Why oh why were the Sparrows swept under the rug? Like literally Ben is the only one who ever mentions them and Luther mentions Sloane ONCE.

I wish we got to see more of Abigail because her playing the violin had me longing for her to connect with the Umbrellas and Sparrow!Ben in a way that was completely different from Reginald to the point that it was jarring. Especially since SHE is technically their creator not Reginald. In the same way original Reginald treats Pogo nicer than the Umbrellas because Pogo is HIS creation.

Was there not a Jennifer Incident in the Sparrow timeline? I know everyone was theorizing it happened differently cause he lived but that was mainly because of his scar and the drawing he made of a woman. But did those details matter at all?? And if they did matter then why wouldn’t he remember a girl named Jennifer if she is a such a constant that even her name stays the same?

And if we have this “the world is better off without them” bit at the end. Then why aren’t their mothers shown being happy in that little park thing? You can say it’s because they lived all over the world but I’m supposed to believe that those commission ppl, the Swedish bros, and the Handler weren’t from different timelines, eras and countries but they got to be in that little happy dream?

Was Jennifer the ONLY durango kid? If the Durango is attracted to the Marigold then why did only one piece of Durango make it to Earth when there was more than one Marigold??

It isnt the marigold kids fault they were born when Reginald is the one that released the Marigold onto Earth and Abigail was the one who made it. Why would the Umbrellas dying undo Reginald releasing the Marigold and Abigail making it? Especially when the Reginalds in new timelines never remember the actions of the Reginalds in other timelines and they have to have their other timeline actions explained to them. So why would killing Reginald #3 AFTER THE FACT revert the splitting timelines? Why are we pretending that Umbrellas themselves are the problem??

You mean to tell me after three seasons of hammering it in how smart Five is, all of those Fives put together didn’t think of just letting the Durango consume them? And if they needed the original to do it then why didn’t one of them reach out to him? Because Five never sugarcoated anything before, why would the other Fives sugarcoat the potential solution to the original Five?

If this is a timeline where they don’t have their powers but have their memories of former timelines then how were the Umbrellas born in this timeline? How can they exist in this timeline? Or is it possible for them to still exist because their mothers didn’t die? If that’s the case do any of them know their mothers at all because it was the Hargreeves School of Wayward Boys not Wayward Kids so Allison and Pre!transition Viktor couldn’t have grown up there. So who are they in this timeline?? If they just jumped out of nowhere then why was Five allowed to join a government agency despite having no traceable background?

If Reginald knew that the Umbrellas couldn’t touch Jennifer why risk it by sending them in the first place? Suppose she got out on her own and then touched all of them, then what? And what’s to say that blowing her up would’ve work in the first place??

[knight-already]

Lily's character makes more sense if we analyze her as a poor child, who just like Severus, when they came to Hogwarts were surrounded by impossibly rich kids and so many of them too! Which made them feel a certain way as I'm sure they noticed the wide range of quality difference between them and their peers

Because poverty certainly has many lessons to be learnt and how we chose to apply those lessons are completely up to the individual -- that is to say no one person will have the same view.

Could you imagine, two sisters living in the working class. The eldest had between hand me downs and all the new stuff while the second sister takes her older sister's hand me downs only. That was their life for as long as they could remember.

They were fine with it because that was their reality.

Then one day the younger sister finds out that she is magic. So now, their parents have to change things up and buy her all these 'new' (though may as well be second hand) things that petunia will never use or need.

So everything they buy is solely for Lily. 

This school has all these kids from different back grounds. Some so rich to the point only few could only imagine, but to Lily and Severus, even the student who was middle class was impossibly well off.

So, it leads to Lily possibly telling  her parents about how she feels, and her parents do try to help her even just by buy a pair of brand new robes. Possibly taking away from Petunia yet again, who had to deal with her second had clothes because no one here was much better off. 

I sure the small difference her parents tried to make was nothing to Lily as her peer's had so much more.

Petunia as she gets older tried to keep up this façade of always being the perfect middle class family. She wants to fit in amount her peers even as an adult. She never wants to be or remember where she came from. She just wants to keep the perfect appearance.

Then she gets Harry, she's already funny about magic. But I think it really struck a chord with her and somehow she was taking out old feelings for her sister on her son, that's where almost inhumane treatment of the two boys come in. Why she would rub it in Harry's face so much.

It's one thing to not approved of magic -- it's nothing to just plainly treat him so horribly. So she treated him like she felt her parents treated her.

So back to Lily, she would undoubtedly be at the bottom of her friend group, because she was the Snape of her friend group with the Gryffindor's  and the only person who made her feel normal -- as though she was better off was Severus. So to fit in with her Gryffindor mattes she would have to hold the same beliefs and values like them, so she look like she somewhat belonged. I’m sure she saw how Severus was treated and maybe other girls, who were rather odd and didn’t fit the mold.

Who would want that for themselves? Even if those views went against Severus. 

As soon as Petunia was able she left her home and went to work in an office where she met her husband and became a house wife. {no hate on house wives or husbands} She was trying to better herself before she landed a good husband who would take care of her. Similarly to what Lily did.

So I mean by fifth year James could do no wrong in her eyes, he was rich, smart, friendly(?) and popular and very vocal about his support for muggleborns. I’m sure he gave her tokens of his affections, and would be sweet to her and I’m sure James was a prize to be won, any student who had interest in him possibly always told her how lucky she was that he liked her --  even if she didn't like his actions, out of loyalty to Severus she kept turning him down, but once she no longer was Severus’ friend?

I swear ppl would see Lily and -- you know that joke where when you get a birthday card and it's stuffed with money, you would have to politely read the card and ignore them money, as though it didn't matter?

[But we all know we could just throw the card and count the cash?]

Yeah, that's how we think of Lily as some saint who is not blinded by money and material things. But just like any person she would want more.

You know, I dear even say that the Snape's, financially could have been better off than the Evan's. Because they were a three member household to a four member household. The only thing that have Severus the disadvantage was the neglect he held at his parents hands. That's what generally makes ppl think Lily and Petunia were better off that Severus.

Not to mention how strange of a child he was personality wise.

Of course the Snape's wouldn't be ALL that better off. But with only one child... I'm sure they had to get second hand things or new thing if they could but there was no other child to feel the brunt of that.

[hellsbroadcaster]

🔥🔥🔥

Send me a “ 🔥 “ for an unpopular opinion. Bonus points if you include a topic. ( IE. shipping, roleplaying, ect. )

Okay. I struggled to come up with some topics to talk about for a while plus just issues through the entirety of this week. BUT I FIGURED IT OUT.

🔥 - PROMOS. tbh, promo's main use were to help roleplayers find other roleplayers, to spread the word about your blog and find more partners and people to make friends and broaden your experiences with learning about new and exciting fandoms. Now I just find them tedious, and annoying to make. if you aren't a popular blog the odds of your promo being reblogged and spread around is so minimal. it also just feels like clout chasing at this point. and yeah nothing wrong with reblogging your promo and having your friends hype you up, but then ppl wonder why they think the rpc is so alienating? cuz someone else will reblog their promo's expecting the same thing and they don't get it and then they feel left out. but if its just so you can get some nice thrown at you, it just feels like more clutter for my dash especially if I'm already following you. now if you're a NEW blog. if you just joined a fandom, and you want some exposure, I'm down for that because that is what a promo is supposed to be for.

🔥 - Personals. I actually like personals. sometimes personals care more about what I post than my own followers. i get ppl being upset if they reblog their threads, but liking your posts? and maybe reblogging a headcanon or something but idk i guess for me that stuff just doesn't bother me. I love when people reblog my headcanon and they agree. or they add onto it, with their own thoughts. or they tell me how much they love it. makes me feel seen. makes me feel cool. i just think people forget that tumblr is NOT a roleplay site. yes, we found a use to tailor it to our hobby, that doesn't mean everyone who comes across our blogs know that. they arent apart of our community, what makes you think they have to abide our guidelines for it? tbh, roleplayers have just gotten entitled to thinking that tumblr is supposed to bow to our whim. we share a space with non roleplayers. to demand, and just expect ppl are just going to see your rules and read them and respect it rght away?? come on ya'll. we know to look for rules cuz its what we've been doing for years, but you can't expect that from strangers who are likely mobile bound just seeing something you wrote in the tags. its gonna happen. i just dont like the mannerisms some people have with them. you dont gotta be rude about it. if its really bothering you just block them and be done. problem solved. going out of your way to make posts about how annoying they are is just unnecessary.

🔥 - duplicates. this is one is gonna get me fired but oh well. Ya'll we have GOT to love ourselves better. because it is plain and simple insecurity for why people feel they cant talk or write with duplicates. i know it does deeper in some cases, like your current partner leaving you for the shinny new roleplayer of the same muse you write. believe me I've been there. but fuck those people. when are we gonna stop letting others dictate how we feel about ourselves? i hate seeing shit when a new roleplayer pops up with the same muse and suddenly you get the vaguing posts about 'suddenly feeling very doubtful of my portrayal' like its not obvious you are threatened. and in this fandom??? we're i follow like 30 different alastors?? lucifers?? Angels"?? all different, all got something to add and share. i got news for you but your portrayal isnt the only ONE. its not the end all be all. and yes I talk to my ego all the time, cuz there are some muses i write where i'm like I AM THE GOD FATHER OF THIS MUSE. but thats me and my own pride, doesnt mean anyone else who writes this muse is less than me. or i'm suddenly less than them. and there are portrayals i dont fuck with. i simply just do not look their way. but theres always muses i love roleplaying with duplicates cuz its FUN. also being able to talk to people who love this muse as much as you?? learn to stop looking at everything like its a competition and things will not be as stressful. its what makes this hobby unfun when you let those insecurities eat you up. im not saying its not valid, and im not saying you cant be upset, but what does it really do for you? what would happen if you just went and talked to them? imagine it goes well? you make a new friend. dont deny yourself opening a door just because you are scared of what 'might' be behind it. and its something I am learning and teaching myself. our issue is we all wanna be see, and heard. we all wanna be the absolute best. we wanna have the best portrayal like this sort of acknowledgement does anything. cuz while I know ppl love my own portrayals, still doesn't change the fact that i got issues and i cry myself to sleep still. the 'love' i get on here, ain't a fix. and if you think seeking validation on tumblr dot com is gonna fix you? its not. the attention and love we seek on here is just a placeholder, its us using this as a distraction from actually fixing our problems, and turn i still see how so many of us are unhappy. let it go.

[misfit-mania-the-first]

Okay I know this is old news or whatever but I am so mad about how much hate the artist/author of Boyfriends on WEBTOON gets.

From when I was more into the comic, the main reason ppl had to be upset at the person were:

A) They drew BTS nsfw art in their teens

B) They fetishized trans men

C) The characters are all Asian and do not look Asian

D) They had the nerd say he was a proshipper

These reasons are honestly so bad to me. Idk if anyone else has extra info or maybe something else he did was bad, but I’m going to explain why I think these are such bad reasons.

1. BTS nsfw art

I’m just going to come out and say it’s bad to write or draw fanart/fanfics of any real person if they haven’t given consent to. It’s different from characters because these are Real People with real emotions and such. And yeah, that wasn’t good. But a couple things. They stopped drawing it around 17-19. For some people that’s way too old to be drawing that, and many think that it’s an attempt at an excuse.

I don’t think that’s the case. I can’t tell you how many posts I’ve seen online of people having bombastic crushes on singers and actors and doing the most heinous shit because they were teenagers. Teenagers just Do That. Yes it’s creepy, but many people go through a phase of having to learn how to seperate fiction from reality and it’s in your teen years. It’s not odd, and I don’t think it’s out of the realm of possibility to consider that a 17-18-19 year old would learn that and send out an apology. I mean our brains apparently don’t even develop till 25. There was also one point that many believed that the artist actually liked someone else’s nsfw BTS art recently, but I saw the post they liked and in my opinion…I had no idea who tf they were drawing. I’m not into BTS but I’ve seen pictures and if I was just scrolling one day and saw it I’d like the post. I don’t remember any BTS specific tags or a BTS related caption. Maybe the entire account was about that and so they didn’t feel the need for tags but I have no idea.

2) They fetishized trans men

Writing four trans men acting stupid and cringy in college and having healthy relationships and discussing boundaries and consent in a polyamorous relationship is not fetishizing. The artist himself is a trans man.

Sidebar, many critiques also center around the unrealistic portrayal of four ppl being in one polyamorous relationship together which honestly? Who cares if it’s unrealistic, it’s a good portrayal and it’s a romance, why can’t gays just have a happy story for once.

3) The characters are all Asian and do not look Asian

Hey, I didn’t know they were Asian either. I mean, I figured jock was but not the others. But honestly it’s not that big a deal. They’re the only four characters in the entire series I believe( other than their girl counterparts) and I’m sure if there was another character that wasn’t Asian we’d be able to tel. But even then, many many comics have a similar simplistic artstyle online, and race and ethnicity are not always obvious. Also the artist is Filipino, so I really doubt there’s anything iffy going on there.

4) Nerd is a proshipper

There’s nothing bad about thinking fiction ≠ reality and that you can act independently of the fiction you consume. Most people irl are proship without realizing it. Most literature is proship, because it explores every single aspect of storytelling. Antis really have not chosen the best hill to die on.

And that’s all I’ve got.

[navree]

lol yeah, it was on Twitter. it was brought up today when someone made a post on how aegon was/is alicent’s favorite. ppl jumped in questioning how alicent can truly love and choose her son when he’s a rapist and then things devolved from there. 🥲

anyways, i don’t want to bother you with my pre-baked thoughts and opinions so feel free to ignore but i feel like the writers are trying to tell two different, somewhat conflicting narratives - one, how it was only the patriarchy that stole the chosen one’s throne, and two, how the throne devours anyone and everyone who seeks it, causing characterization and storylines to clash.

imo the show lacks intersectionality. there are three main-ish characters they could use to explore this: cole, an ethnic minority and low-born (we know he’s not from some high noble home) who holds his knighthood, the epitome of a noble man, in high regard when in actuality they’re all protecting a corrupt system, Larys, who I remember during the hunt episode said he can’t partake in “things of men” or something like that due to his disability, and aegon, who inherited a birthright and role just because he was born male yet he doesn’t want it and doesn’t want what comes with being a targaryen son.

idk, these are just some thoughts. the patriarchy is a tool used to protect power and it affects women and men. all this to say, maybe they should have thought twice about making aegon a rapist (not every “bad” guy has to be a rapist).

First things first, sorry that Alicent feels a deep and unabiding love for her kids even when they do bad things, idk who hurt y'all but my mom once flat out told me that if I killed someone in cold blood she'd still love me even if was also disappointed.

(and also there's something about aegon being alicent's first kid and what he represented in a very lonely time in her life and all the complexities around their relationship and how they'll draw closer but i've discussed that a fair amount already in other posts)

I think you're hitting onto something when it's come to conflicting narratives within the show. I've mentioned this before, but this show has a significantly larger writing room than GOT and nearly every episode has a different writer, which means we've got ten different people telling their own stories in the midst of the overall story and eventually all coming into conflict. There's also just a lot of missed opportunities, like how Criston and Larys have interesting stories (one is an ethnic minority from a place that isn't even a part of the Seven Kingdoms and is at frequent odds with them as well as being lowborn, one is physically disabled and clearly discriminated against in his patriarchal culture due to that) that just aren't being explored, which I think is also due to how they rushed the timeline in this season. It does make the writing disjointed, and you get Rhaenys still bitter about being passed over one episode and then telling Corlys to let it go because she has the next, Aegon the irreverent rapist in one episode and then the guy who is willing to protect his mother from a dragon before she stops him in the next, etc. People can clash with themselves on occasion, that's called character growth, but when it just happens out of the blue because one guy wrote one thing and then the next guy wrote the other, it's just weird.

I'm always a bit leery of "the patriarchy affects men too" takes because, I mean yeah but that's realllllly not the main issue, that's a several rungs down the ladder sort of issue, but the show does have a problem in that it has a very surface level understanding of things like the patriarchy and sexism and how misogyny comes into play with other issues like class divide and rigid social structures and caste systems. That's why there's this odd thing they're doing with the idea that Rhaenya "Chosen By The White Hart Like This Is Actually The Last Unicorn" Targaryen is going to solve sexism just by being a woman on the throne and not delving deeper into that and the complex political power structures that rely on misogyny in Westeros. It's a very shallow understanding and it can make for a shallow story.

Aegon being a rapist meanwhile is just such an incredibly stupid and inconsequential choice that I hate for such a myriad of reasons that honestly? Unless they do something more substantial with that in upcoming seasons I'm gonna start ignoring it the way Viserys ignores his children because it is giving nothing. It's an especially galling choice because a) Aegon should not be "the bad guy", he is the leader of the other major faction in a full civil war, we should be getting his point of view and understanding his point of view and as TGC said, introducing him first thing as a predator turns a lot of people immediately off with no hope of getting them back and b) everything else they've done with Aegon is stuff I've really liked. Aegon wanting love so desperately but feeling like he's never gotten it and how that permeates his every interaction with the world, Aegon needing to be drunk constantly to cope with daily life because of how pained he feels (and specifically apparently needing to get blackout drunk before he engages in any sexual act, as told to us by Helaena, which is just such a wonderfully horrible bit of character information I don't see anyone discussing), Aegon being by and large a bit of a shit person but still feeling his affections deep down, like giving Helaena a present after "cheating" on her and immediately defending Aemond against Luke after he couldn't before and choosing to go along with Aemond and lie for Alicent even when his dad was screaming at him because for whatever else, even beyond bullying and forced incest marriages and feeling like his mom doesn't love him that's still his family and he does love them even if he thinks they don't love him back, his genre awareness, the way he, like Alicent, is doing his duty by becoming king even though he doesn't want it and hates everything about it and is terrififed of his fate. There's genuinely so much they've done with Aegon that's made him such a brilliant character to me, and one that I want to see more of (TGC I wanna see the Emmy winning acting in season 2, I know you can do it). So having this one stupid choice mucking it all up is incredibly annoying and so futile to the story at large, I hate it, I wanna kill it with dragonfire.

[dustjacketmusings]

The book ask: 50, 132, 135

50. A book that made you cry A Lot?

Acosf for entirely negative reasons

Probably Honey Girl and The Kiss Quotient. Honey Girl is overall a fairly contemplative book that just makes you feel lonely. And The Kiss Quotient is a fun romcom that runs you over with a truck of the most disastrous family dinner ever.

132. Who is your favorite person to go to for book recs?

I don't really have a favorite rec place. My bff of course knows what I like and gives me recs. But online I just follow a bunch of people and if they mention something that sounds good I'll add it to my tbr. I'm pretty good at telling whether I'll like something from the summary so I rely mostly on vibes.

If you listen to podcasts, Fated Mates is a romance podcasts that talks pretty extensively about books. I tragically do not listen to podcasts and think they're too nice about books I think are ass, but other ppl might like them.

135. Recommend any book you like!

Both Honey Girl and The Kiss Quotient are excellent.

Honey Girl is a coming of age story of a late 20s black graduate student who feels like she has only questions and no answers. It's a more realistic look at life in how some odds aren't beatable, and the path that's best may not be the one you expected.

The Kiss Quotient is my general contemporary romance rec for readers of romance or non readers of romance. Stella is an unusual heroine who's incredibly competent at her job and not much else. This book is so good at making a love between two different people work, tailoring the way they find each other interesting, and also very fun Asian American dynamics.

Ask me about books

[parkminijiminie]

Why did i not found you before like why am i finding out you now...we agree on many things. Infact you're the only one who agreed on with me over those two points of jungkook not knowing jm's schedule of music show nd all..

Anyways, another situation for me was during festa when jk said why did jm not played his songs for jk yet but hoba already Heard it nd then jm said "i asked you and everyone to come see me work" now this might not be a big deal for others but i personally find it a bit odd for people who are dating.

See first things first is jm is shy about showing his artistry to others (members said it in festa too) so when he's actually asking you how do you not go? I understand about other members cause they're frnds but jk if we're considering him jm's bf here don't you think it's odd that he didn't heard any of jm's song that time? He didn't go even when jm asked them to? The deal here is they both work at the same comapny so you tell me how hard it is for jk to go nd see jm work on his songs for ONCE? Even hoba saw it cause he was at the comapny so why was it hard for jk? Then he kind of was upset that he didn't heard any of jm's song. He like said it 4 times that he's upset. I know he was smiling but i genuinely think he again felt left out cause again he's close to jm so when your other frnd knows more about your besties (in this case BF if we're considering them in a relationship) than you, you definitely feel betrayed the fact that he actually asked jm to say sorry to him nd jm immediately said sorry too. At that time all jkkrs took it as jk not actually being upset nd some thought he already heard them but is just teasing but honestly i did felt like he felt like "why am i not one of the ppl who heard your songs, I AM close to you" and then he asked jm to say sorry so i felt that.

Another is jungkook not going to any of jm's music shows when he was not doing anything at all like he was on rest doing some barbeque tour. But he went for the movie premiere with tae's frnds to show support like i honestly felt sad at that time cause jimin literally personally asked jk to come more often but seems like jk didn't go. I as a jm biased person knows that jm values such things so much like his face was so radiant when hobi visited him. Hobi went to jm's MV set, jm said he's feeling nervous without his memebrs on first music show nd boom on next music show hobi was right there. Jm was soo so happy like i felt it through that hug jm gave to hobi.

I felt bad cause if jungkook can go to wooga squad's member's (they seems frnds now) movie premiere to show support to him even when at that time he was busy working on his projects (he said it himself that he's busy on his album on one of his lives prior to this movie premiere) can't he go to atleast one music show? Idk this feeling never went away i don't care how many excuses anyone come up with for this.

Many jkkrs said that so what jk still supported him online and a support is support nd jm was still happy but my point is it's still makes difference of some being physically there to support you vs someone supporting you from afar. A friend will wish you on your birthday on phone while a best friend will be there physically be there with you to celebrate with you when circumstances clearly allows them to.

There's one for jk's birthday too which I'll share later.

And so so sorry for ranting in your page but also thank you for taking your time and responding.

I'm glad we agree on things. You couldn't have found me because I was inactive for 5 years and will probably be inactive soon again. I'm pretty busy in real life but now I have a break for a few months, that's why I'm here. And honestly, this rumour about JK was tok big for me to ignore and I needed to discuss it with someone.

You're giving me a new perspective on Festa 2022. When it happened, I kinda took it like this: Hobi heard JM's songs because he was available at the time. Namjoon even teased them about him beinf Jimin's number 1 fan. JK felt jealous over the fact others have heard the songs before him and also over Namjoon's comment and JK loudly protesting (RM even looked at him when he said it, and JM also looked at JK when saying this isn't the reason). It completely flew over my mind that JM said he invited everyone, meaning he also invited JK but he didn't come. In this context, Jk being upset about it and Jimin apologizing does give more "besties" than boyfriend.

About the movie premiere. I still find it so odd that JK went to that. Sure, he hangs out with Tae's friend but they don't seem that close and JK doesn't strike me as the type to love this public events, when it isn't necessary. At the time, I thought maybe he was feeling down so Tae brought him to cheer him up, but a previous Anon said something interesting. There seem to be a rumour that JK's girlfriend or one of his girls is a friend to Jennie. If it is true, could she being there be a reason for him to go?

[menalez]

mena im soo lonely. all of my friends basically never try to involve me in anything and are always hanging out with guys, theyre all bi but they only really ever date and talk about guys, they make me feel like im an ugly man weirdo (even though im feminine. i just don't wear makeup really)

i soo badly just want lesbian or gay friends bc i really struggle to feel understood currently. rn im a teen and im scared my loneliness will only get worse as i go into adulthood.

did you ever experience something similar and how were you able to get gay/lesbian friends? 💜

yeah ive had moments in university and school where i basically felt quite othered bc my female friends would often talk about guys and their crushes and male celebs etc and that didnt interest me so id either disconnect or (sth i did as a child) id invent stuff to try to fit in but i felt somewhat uncomfortable n different bc of it regardless. BUT i can at least tell u that finding gay & lesbian friends is not at all impossible, u meet 1 gay man or 1 lesbian and suddenly u end up meeting more n more bc they also tend to have their own gay & lesbian friends. even end up finding bi people who aren't so OSA-centric.

im not sure if it'll help u at all but. when i was in school, most of my friend group coincidentally turned out to either be gay or bi. in my female friend group: 1 turned out to be bi, 1 turned out to be a lesbian (& they were the ones i was closest to as well), and then from my male friends 2 turned out to be gay men. we didnt consciously know of each other's sexualities but i think we somehow subconsciously knew and connected w each other based on being semi-outcasts and different without knowing/admitting exactly how we are different. after school, at uni, i did go through about 2 years where most of my friends were het. i was living abroad and i noticed that in a lot of the west, ppl tend to only want to be friends w people of similar ethnic/racial/cultural backgrounds so my friends mostly ended up being muslim women (which was unusual for me lol. ik its odd since i grew up in a muslim country but most of my friends were not religious or weren't even muslim at all). i did have 1 friend, a bahraini gay man, who i knew through a woman i had a thing with. he was coincidentally going to the same uni as me. she introduced us and we became close friends. one of the muslim women i was friends with also ended up coming out to me as bi (she dated women briefly at first then ended up in relationships w men tho). there were several lesbians on radblr who lived in the same area as me and invited me into their group & bc of that i ended up having a lesbian friend group in the UK. wed go to lesbian events together which was fun! then in germany, i befriended the obviously gay guy in my german class bc i wanted to make friends in the country & he seemed cool. he introduced me to some other bi & gay people but i never rly became friends with them. my gf also introduced me to several lesbians & my aunt (an activist working for an LGBT org) also introduced me to several bisexuals, gay men & lesbians, many of whom i ended up befriending. so for me most of it was through other people, often women im dating or gay friends i have.