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#but they want to pretend it was resolved
tsubasaclones · 8 months
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when I'm in a "not resolving plotlines" competition and my opponent is clear card
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wistfulwatcher · 2 months
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zeroistic · 28 days
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these damn new gen ls pvpers and their anti-yap stances and resorting to pvp at every given moment
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worstloki · 10 months
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People who think Palestinians wanting equal rights to live on their own land equates to wanting to genocide Jewish people are actually telling on themselves
#‘millions of Jewish people will be killed’ your Jewish majority state is going to have deaths if constantly engaging in warfare and genocide#if it wasn’t happening because of that then maybe it’s because your Jewish majority state professionally harasses civilians#instead of any form of oppositional military force while invading their land#the arrogance#‘millions of Jewish people would be displaced’ have you not heard of negotiating#have you not seen millions of Palestinians been displaced from their literal homes#this is not to mention the amount of refugees in the surrounding countries due to wars already#if you think a lack of Jewish supremacy in the area is tantamount to ‘killing millions of Jews’ idk what to tell you#Palestinians want to not die and Zionists are out here saying that means they want to kill everyone#and then they will accuse you of not knowing what Zionism is or what genocide is or what apartheid is or what oppression looks like#they will accuse you of not knowing what the word indigenous means#clownery#Palestine#if you pretend being in support of Palestine is about hating Jewish people instead of trying to resolve ongoing genocide by a colonial state#then you’ve lost legitimacy#there is enough antisemitism out there that you don’t have to conflate a struggle against oppression with it to prove it exists#the same way you don’t need to prove who is endorsing to commit genocide when people deny that is what’s happening#the same way you don’t need to prove which side wants peace in the region and which side continues torturing children even without a war
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I have a lack of sympathy for Thingol, Dior, and Elwing and here’s why:
Ngl, i’d feel more sympathy for dior, elwing, thingol, etc if they didn’t all collectively decide a shiny rock, that they had absolutely no claim over and kept from their rightfull owners, over their own people.
Sons of feanor: hey, can we have our father’s greatest creation, that morgoth killed out grandfather for, back?
Thingol, Dior, Elwing: yeah, about that... see, it’s very shiny and i like it very much so imma just... keep it.
Sons of feanor: but it literally does not belong to you??? Stealing it doesn’t make it yours? And it’s literally one of the only things we have left of our trees of light? And once more our father created it? And it was stolen from him? You should really just give it back?
Thingol, Dior, Elwing: but it’s mine now. I have it.
Sons of feanor: you are aware that we have sworn an oath, a soul binding oath, that forces us to kill and get rid of any one and anything in our way to get them back, right? Like, we don’t want to, but we will due to this oath.
Thingol, Dior, Elwing: so?
Sons of feanor: we will literally resort to kinslaying to get these jewels back due to the oath, never mind that it literally does not belong to you and is our father’s creation, holds the light of our trees, and caused the death of our grandfather. Listen, we are trying to resolve this peacefully, bc we also do not want to resort to kinslaying, so give us OUR thing back. You are not beholden to an oath. Not that that should matter. Literally GIVE US OUR SHIT BACK.
Thingol, Dior, Elwing: nah
Sons of feanor: oh my fucking god *kinslays* we fucking warned you you dumbass! *kinslays again* all you had to do was give us our thing back, it literally does not belong to you. *kinslays* we fucking told you about the oath, but did you listen? No! Do you even care about your own people? Like, what is this shit?
Thingol, Dior, Elwing: *dies* *cries about how it’s unfair*
(Look, do i acknowledge and understand that what the feanorians did with the kinslaying is wrong? Yeah. Do i also acknowledge and understand that Thingol, Dior, and Elwing could have avoided all of this if they had just given the jewels that they had not right to back? Absolutely. Even ignoring how they had no right to the silmarils in the first place, as leaders of their people, they did not do right by their people by putting a shiny rock over their people (especially considering they were not under oath) especially considering they were given the option to resolve it peacefully and were given warning)
(To be completely honest, Thingol, Dior, and Elwing continuously acting as if they had a right to the silmarils is very much like how the museums dig up ancient tombs, pilfers the treasures, take it all to their land and display it, all without a second thought to the people and descendants of the rightful owners, and disregard the cultural value for the original people, and thenget bitchy when the people of the country and culture want their history ancestors possessions back)
The only one i’ll give lenience to is elwing bc she was young, had not parental guidance, and withholding the jewel was probably also partly driven by spite, but Thingol and Dior have no leg to stand on what so ever.
Lastly, i’d like to state that this is what I think, this is my opinion and you are absolutely free and welcome to have your own. If you have a different opinion, feel free to post it on your own time and in your own post.
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post-it-notes7 · 2 years
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WAIT so falsgato (was that the ship name?) exists in H&S? Will we see them more often in your works and will we see how their story ends? If so I’m so excited omfg
Aha, it does, at least to an extent! On the current timeline, Falspar has been harboring what he's almost certain are unrequited feelings for Dragato for several years now, and he's done as much as he can to keep that separated from their friendship, with very very few beings any the wiser. Falspar and Dragato's friendship has always been a very chaotic back and forth between fighting over the smallest of things, to genuine moments of not knowing where they would be without the other standing there beside them. I'm sure they'll turn up in my works again, especially given the current state of IYD—and I do have plans for them should I keep writing more installments! Thank you for the ask, anon!
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fluxweeed · 6 months
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yes I agree that you’re implicitly required to rec a fic you’re involved in which is why it HURTS WHEN PEOPLE DONT like oof. you said yes to work on it but then you didn’t like it that much hey. obviously I’d rather that than people rec something they don’t actually like, I’m not saying it should be disingenuous, it just hurts you know? ouch
nahhh i don't think ppl should feel obligated to do marketing for a fic they've already put time and energy into helping the writer with!
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bambino1294 · 7 months
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and when I get out of this FUCKING HOUSE
#rambles#literally ignore me I’m venting#bought some clothes online right#something I don’t normally do so spooky scary new things that freak out the tism#have to return a couple items okay#I miss one thing in the return package that I only realised after I give it to the post office#(I resolved it via customer service so it’s literally fine and not a big deal)#tell my mum I forgot the thing and she IMMEDIATELY loses it at me because I don’t want to walk all the way back to the fucking post office#like at this point I’m still anxious because I think I did something wrong#not knowing it could be resolved dead easy#so my mum literally yelling at me is not making me feel better and actively setting off my pissed-off defence mechanism#so last thing I do is call her a bitch and she actually screams at me#like should I have called her that? no#but has this woman ever apologised to me in my LIFE? also no#so I’m gonna be petty and stubborn and leave her to be pissed off cause she upset me first#honestly was fully expecting her to smack me in the moment or not make me dinner. I was fully prepared for that. but thats beside the point#anyway dad gets home. literally tries to make me talk to him in the kitchen and when I don’t want to he shouts at me#literally just not in the mood to deal with more conversation tonight and I told him that and he was like ‘okay paint yourself the victim’#like????? THATS NOT WHAT IM DOING FUCKWAD I JUST AM NOT IN THE HEADSPACE TO TALK RIGHT NOW#like I’m not gonna pretend I’m the bigger person in this situation or didn’t do anything wrong#but they’re fucking unreasonable people whenever I do ANYTHING wrong#like bro I don’t know how to sincerely apologise to people because I never EVER heard the word sorry out of their mouths#so they can fucking live with what they created tbh#congratulations your daughter’s a shit person and now you have to cope with it#honestly get me out of this fucking house the temptation to just walk out is only battled by the fact I’d have no where to go rn#vent post#don’t reblog ty#vent over sos y’all had to see that <3
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niuxita21 · 2 years
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Sorry. I got carried away with the gay stereotypes. I too have a lot to learn. And I went a bit too far sending Elena to kidnap you. I’m sorry. Ana, you and I are a team and complement each other perfectly. And you’ve taught me a lot about the business world, but I know other things as well that I can teach you.
Bonus: Ana’s reaction to Mariana saying she could teach her other things... 
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#madre solo hay dos#ana servín#mariana herrera#shitty screencap posts (TM)#buckle up here's a numbered list of all the things I loved about this scene and them in this episode#1) the fact that they weren't even pretending here#they were just hashing things out being their usual cute supportive selves with each other#and it's still indistinguishable from them acting like a couple to the point that the driver himself was like 'naww y'all are so cute' :)))#2) the fact that aside from the characters who need to be against them being a couple for plot reasons#they're having random characters be outed as straight-up shippers (first ceci and now the driver apparently) idk it tickles me#3) the fact that what this scene is aluding to is mariana knowing more about being lgbt than ana#I really appreciate them not only not forgetting that mariana is bi but actually leaning into it and bringing it up very matter-of-factly#in a context where it was very much relevant idk why I wasn't expecting it but it's really great to see#4) the fact that even though mariana is fully intent on keeping ferrán on as a sidepiece (lol)#her scenes with ana even when they're not having to pretend don't feel like she's just counting down the minutes to see ferrán again#especially here like the way the 'we complement each other perfectly we're a team you've taught me sooo much' just comes so effortlessly#it doesn't feel like she's saying it to keep up the couple charade for the driver's benefit bc a) we know what she sounds like when she acts#and b) it only seems to occur to them that the driver is listening and that they may have to continue pretending AFTER they say all that#so this is really just mariana wanting to gently assert herself to ana and try to resolve the issue they've been having#and her way of doing that is to praise her and talk about how great they are together becase that's what comes naturally to her#idk idk I'm rambling the point is that that earlier scene at the restaurant with the forced handhold made me a wee bit apprehensive#like maybe ana would go overboard with the pretending and mariana would act uncomfortable every time they had scenes together#esp knowing that she would rather be kissing ferrán at the moment#so this was nice to see and once again I like how they are choosing to frame this storyline and their scenes together#especially considering the radically different places they both are at emotionally
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aeide-thea · 2 years
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lol just found out the former owner of this property has been surveilling all our mail via usps's informed delivery service, to which he still has access because he never bothered to file a change of address with them even though it's been literal years at this point, and so now i get to put 'calling the post office to get him kicked off because what the actual fuck' on my to-do list for the day!
also: i found this out because he emailed my dad an image of a piece of mail he wants us (me) to forward to him. flames on the side of my face.
#like—i was mildly annoyed when i thought it was just him being lazy#but the fact that his inaction has given him ongoing access to peruse all the mail we receive?#which on the basis of this email he clearly does at least sometimes?#CREEPY. like yeah it's whatever but also it's the principle of the thing!#anyway. as much as anything i'm irritated bc i'm not running on enough sleep#but. greargh. 🦖#(i mean‚ i'm also irritated bc my dad should have told him politely but firmly *years* ago that we'd forwarded more than enough of his mail#and that it was past time for him to file a change of address with USPS#but bc he's such a fucking doormat‚ the whole thing didn't get resolved#and is now *my* problem‚ unless i'm happy to let this guy keep viewing all my mail. which i'm not.#which is always how this works.#'i can't tell your uncle now isn't a good time‚ so i have to take his call in the middle of whatever we're doing!'#he doesn't respect himself and so he just absorbs everyone else's demands and passes them on to me‚ whom he also doesn't respect.)#anyway. have fully talked myself into a terrible mood now‚ time to stop tag spiraling.#journaling#mundanities#domesticities#…actually i lied‚ what REALLY gets my goat here is that my dad will almost CERTAINLY not acknowledge that anything abt this is an issue#because he just has basically no bandwidth ever and just wants to pretend everything is fine so he doesn't have to Do Feelings#and it becomes this really shitty really gendered thing where like. i get painted as the Crazy Woman Making an Unjustifiable Fuss#even though there are multiple aspects of this situation that it's in fact extremely reasonable for me to be unhappy with!#and it's just like. no fucking wonder i can't deal with anything‚ i can't even evaluate a situation without having my reaction invalidated#ok now that really IS all. grateful for yr patience in a Trying Time if you even got this far‚ lol.
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herbofgraceandpeace · 1 month
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🙃
#I like my job and I like my coworkers#And honestly they’d be more justified in not liking me#I’m the youngest and the most emotionally immature (I think)#So I keep finding myself irritated and distraught at things I should probably be able to let go of?#But I think I’m the problem (it’s me hi)#Not everyone else?#And so as much as I want to be frustrated I think this is a situation where I’m in the wrong and have to grow#Well I KNOW I’m in the wrong for being impatient with one lady—#Her husband is going through a medical crisis (on-going + receiving treatment)—#So while it IS true that she’s not technically making things smooth at the moment#She’s juggling a bajiliion difficultthings and doing it remarkably well on the whole#Unlike me who is emotionally struggling in my new job and has few external problems#But also. There’s that weird Dorothy Sayers quote I don’t understand that’s like#“Don’t persuade yourself into appropriate feelings”#And idk what that’s all about but THE POINT IS#That I AM frustrated and hurt and feeling needy and unsupported and like the things that are priorities for my job#Are being undervalued by her and so I’m not receiving the due amounts of her attention#.#and I need to forgive her for that.#Because regardless of all extenuating circumstances I’m still hurt by her#And I can’t pretend that I don’t feel that way#but I can 1) understand where she’s coming from#2) acknowledge the reality of the situation including my own feelings good and bad#3) resolve to do what is loving and leave the rest to God#So!#I left my office to work somewhere else and I’m going to have coffee and make my peace with everything#And just do my duty and not worry about what I can’t control :)#but I needed to process first#Please pray for me not to hold grudges please#Because I do struggle with that
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ame-to-ame · 3 months
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love being nd and have the tism wolf Inside me be so drastically uncomfortable with uncertainty that i physically cannot think about school and having to deal w the unknown of that whole situation without losing 5lbs in 2 days
#the club ppl are meeting abt stuff for when school starts and just the reminder of school starting is enough to make me lose all appetite#i had to text a friend and ask him if he could help be there for me when i move in bc of how the situation stresses me out lmao#asked another friend if i can go to their place if i can't take it at the start of the semester#they are so sweet to me 😭😭😭 they haven't moved yet but they told me if they have an extra copy they'll give me their spare keys#but i genuinely go blank in the mind and go catatonic when i think abt. living situations next year bc i gen don't know what the vibe is#it's like probably not gonna be so bad and ik i have the capability to deal w all the scenarios but not knowing what to expect. kills me.#I'd genuinely be okay if i have to pretend i don't live there and i don't exist and get ignored!! i just need to know that now Thanks!!!#but tryin my best to not be reminded i have to deal w this in 2 months but my supervisor mentioned the campus today and now i can't eat lma#he was like u don't even need to go back to campus and im holding everything back to not be like. just take me as a full time worker.#i love school actually. i love learning. i just. thinking abt my living situation and not knowing what to expect when i have to inevitably#. face. my ex. makes me want to shrivel up and die. like icb i have to do this. like really my ex is the most harmless person ever but stil#how do you ever really. look your ex in the eyes ever again anyway. no matter the circumstances of it ending like it's gonna be so awkward?#and it's the avoidant in me and the avoidants I've dated but. I've never had a normal relationship w/ an ex afterwards lmao#but Each time I've ended things they ended at a spot where i didn't have to ever run into them ever again. so. i am not equipped for this.#And I Missed The Room Swap Date and The Regret is Eating me Up like i ugh i can't do this i don't i don't#It might be pessimistic of me but i don't think whatever will ever be resolved i don't think she'll ever want to talk abt it#and if Those are the starting conditions god forgive me if all i want is to get out of here like#if we're never gonna address or resolve anything then at least just let me have it out of sight out of mind#and I'll pretend it'llnevercome up ever again!! I'll rewrite my memories and just run the fuck away!!#my friend is going thru a more severe case of anger n self blame n how could i let them do this to me and im glad i don't feel it that bad#all i have is debilitating fear lmao so I'm just! trying not to think about anything!! i have so much fun and I'm so busy so why do i still#ugh anyway i hate nightmares and autism i really dgi i can deal with any situation so why do i still dread#delete later
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dutybcrne · 9 months
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Kaveh keeps Haitham’s TCG card with him at all times; esp at work, send tweet-
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eddiesxangel · 3 months
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1-800-HOT-TO-GO | E.M
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Anonymous asked: Can i request a fic where either the reader reveals during a pizza and beers hangout she was a phone sex operator for a brief time and everyone is shocked and one of them jokingly asks if she was any good and she whispers something dirty in their ear and it changes their friendship
Cw: fem!reader, allusions to male masturbation, dirty talk 1.7k words
“Come again?”
“I used to work a sex hotline,” you shrug like it was no big deal.
“No way,” Eddie shakes his head. “I don’t believe you.”
You hear Steve and the others giggle around you, also in disbelief.
“Wanna bet?”
“Try me.” He wants to call your bluff because no way in hell did he not know this about you. You always were reserved when it came to talking about sex; you never had you seemed promiscuous.
You hold up your hand to your ear, pretending it is a phone, and Eddie follows your lead.
“Ring ring,” he giggles.
“Hello.” You changed the pitch of your voice to be more sultry.
“Hi,” he smirks.
“Can I get a name, handsome?”
“ Eddie”
“Mmmm, hi, Eddie. I’m Candy.”
“Candy?”
He breaks character, but you don’t.
“the boys say it’s because I’m so sweet.” You fake giggle.
“This is my first time calling. I’m not sure what to do here.”
“That’s okay, I’ll walk you through it… you want to get comfortable for me?”
Eddie looks around the room at the others, who are trying to stifle their giggles. This night was supposed to be chill, with pizza and beers. He wasn’t really sure how you all ended up here.
“I’m comfortable.” He says without actually moving.”
“I wish I could see; you sound so sexy.” You sigh.
Another giggle leaves Eddie’s lips because who is this person who’s taken over your body?
“Yeah? you wish you could see be, Dollface?” Playing into it more.
You lean in to whisper so only he can hear it this time. “oh yeah, big boy; I bet your cock is already nice and hard for me. Such a good boy, I want you to fill me.” You sit back, take a loose tendril, twirl his hair around your finger, and watch Eddie’s eyes widen at what you just said.
“Oh-okay, that’s enough.” He chuckles, trying not to give away how turned on he just got. “I believe you!”
You sit back with a giggle and grab another slice of pizza like nothing just happened.
Everyone looked at you with shock.
Eddie quickly gets up and excuses himself to go to the bathroom.
“What did you say?!” Robin begs.
You shrug in response like it was another day at work… which it has been.
“Damn, is it hot in here?” Steve pops the collar of his shirt.
“You guys need to loosen up, my god.”
While you were still enjoying your pizza, Eddie was having a crisis. Never had he thought of you in that way until moments ago, listening to those filthy words slip from your lips.
“I bet your cock is already nice and hard for me. Such a good boy, I want you to fill me,” your words replayed in his mind while he tried to fight the blood rushing to his stiffening cock.
He can’t go back out there like this. Eddie splashed cold water on his face to try to snap him out of it, but it didn’t help.
A quick rap on the door startles Eddie out of his inner monologue.
“You okay, big boy? You’ve been in there fifteen minutes.” He hears you laugh from the other side.
Had it really been that long?
Eddie’s issue had not been resolved; in fact, it had worsened as he tried to push down the thought of you naked and spread out for him… talking to him like that.
“Yeah-I-uh- just a minute.” Eddie wanted to pull his hair out at how frustrated you had made him.
You were just pals, bubbies, amigos.
You weren’t attractive… were you?
Eddie never thought to look at you in that way; you’re just a friend, always had been, always will be… unless?
The more Eddie thought about it, the more he realized he did think your hair looked really pretty tonight. The way you always did your makeup really brought out your beautiful features…and when he got a whiff of your delicious perfume when you twirled his hair, he thought his.
“You sure?” You try to jiggle the door handle, but it’s locked.
“Shit,” Eddie curses under with breath.
“Come on, Ed, talk to me, please?”
You hear the lock unlatch and watch the doorknob slowly turn as Eddie pokes his head out.
“Hi,” he’s short and sounds a bit out of breath.
“I hope what I said didn’t make you uncomfortable.”
Ed saw the worried look in your eyes.
“No! Well, I mean, yes, but…no.”
“Yes, but no?”
Eddie let out a deep sigh. He didn’t see a way out of this. He stepped aside to let you in and shut the door behind you.
“Eddie?” You look up at him.
“Hm?”
His eyes snap to your concerned face.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t think it was a big deal! It did it all the time for work; I just… I don’t know. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. clearly, I overstepped a boundary-“
“You’re not the only one.”
“What do you mean?”
Eddie moves his strategically placed hands to reveal the tent formed in his jeans and watches as your face falls into amused shock.
You cup your mouth to stifle an unexpected giggle.
“That’s not the reaction a guy wants when he shows a girl how turned on he is.”
“I’m sorry, I just!-didn’t think?”
“It’s okay. I’m just trying to get rid of it, but it’s not going away.”
“You mean?”
“I’m waiting it out.”
“Oh, ok.” You nod awkwardly.
An awkward silence washes over the both of you as you try so hard not to stare at his crotch.
“Don’t worry, I’m not going to ask for your help if that’s what you’re thinking.”
“I wasn’t!”
“Ok…”
Another very uncomfortable silence settled between the two of you as you fiddled with the hem of your shirt, trying to do everything in your power so as not to look down.
“I um… I guess I’ll just.” You point to the door that he’s blocking.
“Uh. Ok,” he nods and steps to the side.
You close the door behind you but don’t leave. You lean against the door and take a deep breath, trying to make sense of the evening.
Why did the thought of turning Eddie on excite you? He’s a friend. Just a friend. I always had and always will be.
With a deep breath, you go to push yourself up off the door, but before you’re able to, you hear your name being moaned from the other side of the door.
You froze. You knew you should move, but your feet were locked in place. More heavy breaths and the sound of muffled moans seeped from under the door gap, and you pressed your ear to the door.
Eddie was jerking off because of you… and you liked it?
Eddie bit back screaming your name as he finally released himself into the bathroom tissue. Finally, he could return to rejoin everyone without being physically uncomfortable.
He discarded his release, tucked himself back in, washed his hands, and unlocked the door, but he was ambushed when you fell onto him when he went to open the door.
You let out a squeak as you lost your balance, falling into Eddie as the door was opened from under you.
“Woah,” Eddie catches you before you’re able to fall. His rage hands wrap around your biceps, gripping tightly to brace your fall.
“Were you spying on me?”
“Oh god, sorry” you’re so embarrassed. The whole evening has been one shit show. You scramble to find your fitting to create space between you and Eddie.
“You were spying on me!”
“Shhhhh! Keep your voice down.”
“You totally were spying on me!” He accused.
“You’re the one who moaned my name!” You defend.
Eddie’s cheeks reddened.
“You’re the one who said all those… things!” his hands flailed.
“You’re the one who egged it on!”
“So!”
“So?”
“Yeah, so!”
“Woah, guys, what’s going on here?” Steve pops his head around the corner.
“Nothing,” you both glare.
“Ohhhhhkayyyyyyyy,” Steve turns a heel and walks back to the kitchen to grab a drink.
“Eddie,” you sigh, “I don’t want to argue. This is dumb, and we can pretend it never happened.”
“We could, but I gotta know.”
“What’s that?”
“Did you like it?” He took a step closer, filling the gap between you.
“What?” You look up at him.
“I asked if you like listening to me?” he brushed your hair behind your shoulder.
You gulp, not expecting Eddie’s demeanour to switch on a dime.
“I… I don’t know?”
“I think you did, and you’re too scared to admit it.” You can smell him. He is so close to you.
“Eddie, what are you doing?” You watch as he leans in closer.
“Just trust me.” His hands find the back of your neck, pulling you close.
“Eddie?”
“Let me try something.”
“Kay,” you whisper.
Eddie’s lips graze yours ever so lightly before he presses them fully.
A million and one thoughts run through your mind as Eddie kisses you.
You blame the cheap beer for letting this happen. You blame the beer for liking it. You blame the beer for kissing him back. You blame the beer for the tongue slip and the beer for how you wanted to moan when he pulled away.
“Woah”
“Yea woah,” you repeated dumbly.
“um… did you like it?”
“Yeah… did you?”
“Yeah.”
“cool… now what?”
“go out with me,” Eddie states confidently.
“Like a date?”
“what else would it be?” He chuckles.
“I don’t know?” You shrug, embarrassed that Eddie is getting you all flustered.
“You’re cute when you don’t know what to say.” He smirks.
“I’m cute?” You never thought hearing Eddie say those words would send butterflies fluttering through your tummy.
Eddie doesn’t answer verbally; he leans in to kiss you again to confirm his statement.
“We should get back to the others.” You sigh as you pull away.
“You didn’t answer me.”
“You didn’t ask me anything.”
“Yes, I did. I asked you out.”
“No, you said go out with me. That’s a statement, not a question.”
“Are you kidding me?”
“No,” Yes, you were totally messing with him.
“Will you go out on a date with me?”
“Just say yes! You’ve been gone for half an hour!” You hear Robin yell from the living room.
“Robin!” You hear Steve scold.
“What?”
You can’t help but laugh and can’t believe the next world’s coming out of your mouth.
“Okay, I’ll go out with you, Eddie.”
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cupidhaseul · 11 months
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Just had to host my grandma (who I have a terrible relationship with) in my apartment for like three hours I really deserve a medal for my acting
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kobeniliker · 1 year
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im mad at my parents and i dont want to do my summer schoolwork. or, insignificant ramblings from a child who doesn't know anything.
Guilt of rest is all consuming. Cant take harsh words from you. This is your fault, not the system we live in. you say, as i run on a hamster wheel, in a cycle of meaningless work and meaningful tears. Endless. I cant take breaks. The world is quite literally on fire. How is this any reprieve? I turn a blind eye and become ignorant for a time, though as it turns out i am always ignorant because at least im not the one being bombed or tortured or killed. Be grateful. 
the breaks i take are too long, when i do rest. The world keeps fucking turning. Wake up in a body that aches and a brain that is too loud. Wake in a room that feels like being cooked in an oven even through air conditioning, but its still better than outside. Wake up in a world where this is just another day. Its so hard just to keep on living. You want me to do more? Its a miracle im still alive. 
Why cant we be content with that. Why do you expect great things from me now. I will be great in my own time. I have done great things. I have laughed, i have cried, i have immersed myself in the dark and cold,  i have made music from wood and steel, i have listened, i have spoken, and i will do so much more. It is not enough, though. It is not profitable. 
Your happiness is not profitable. Why buy when you have all you need? Your misery is profitable. The drive to have enough, to consume, to feel secure. I am neither. I am angry. I want to make them suffer and drag them down and make them feel all the confusion and pain and fear and anger of a queer neurodivergent hispanic honors student living in the world that they fucking built. And then. And then i want to tear it down.
The world will keep turning either way. 
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