#but when women marry men? just add SOMETHING original

[gayvampyr]

sick of white wedding dresses. add some flavor and color im begging you

[jadelotusflower]

Stargate Rewatch: 1x01 Children of the Gods

After rewatching the original film I'm kicking off with the show's pilot - I actually watched both the original version and the "final cut" because there are aspects I enjoy of both. The final cut removes a few problematic elements and adds in some new material, but also cuts a few lines I really enjoy and the original version is really where my nostalgia lies, so... as always, my feelings, they are mixed.

Cold open with some redshirts - four men and one woman, sadly representative of the gender ratio the show will have going forward.

The unlucky Smurfette is Sgt Carol Weterings, not that I think she's ever mentioned by name in the episode.

"Probably the only thing it ever did was cost money." Heh.

I will say that Teal'c turning against Apophis at the end of the episode is nicely built - starting here where he examines the gun and identifies it as technology far advanced beyond the humans they’re used to dealing with.

When your name is above the title, you get introduced with an extreme close up.

The differences between the film and the show don't really bother me - I view the show as taking place in a very similar but alternate universe to the film rather than trying to squeeze them together - so O'Neil becomes O'Neill, Sha'uri becomes Sha're, Tyler becomes Charlie, Abydos is the closest planet to Earth, not the other side of the known universe, etc etc. But I consider the events of the film to be canon to the show universe unless directly contradicted.

But otherwise the pilot tries very hard to stick as close as possible to the film, to the point that Major Samuels states that General Hammond replaced General West.

Hammond says it’s been “over a year” since the events of the film, unclear exactly how much over.

The final cut has a longer version of the dead Jaffa, revealing one of them was a woman, and with all the changes to eliminate plot holes I don't know why Brad Wright put one back in. While we do see Jaffa women in the series, Goa'uld and Jaffa society is depicted as highly patriarchal and female Jaffa soliders are rare - we never see them in Apophis's ranks. It's an odd inclusion.

"What if the aliens get it?" "Well, they could be blowing their noses right now." hee!

"THANKS SEND MORE" Remember when Daniel had allergies? Give it a few episodes and the show sure won’t!

Amanda Tapping, doing her absolute best with some terrible dialogue. Brad Wright blames the "reproductive organs" speech on Jonathan Glassner, and it is terrible and thankfully removed from the final cut version, along with some other 90's era sexism from the bros. However there is one great moment, where Kawalsky asks "Have you ever pulled out of a simulated bombing run in an F16 at eight plus Gs?" and without missing a beat, Sam deadpans: "Yes." I love Sam.

"I'll give you exactly 24 hours to either return or send a message through - no Kleenex boxes, please." Hee, Hammond isn't quite the cuddly commander we know and love yet, but he has his moments.

It's very cute that Sam has a very similar reaction to the one Daniel had in the film just before going through the gate, although his was based in the wonder of something incredible and unknown, and hers is based in the physical manifestation of knowledge - says a lot about each of them and their similarities yet different perspectives - the marrying of these two points of view is what makes them such a good duo.

Michael Shanks, doing the James Spader impression that won him the role. He was only 26!

And of course Alexis Cruz, the only holdover from the movie (other than Erick Avari, who won't appear until season 2).

The original team sure did leave a bunch of weapons with the Abydonians, didn't they? I presume they taught them how to fire the guns because there's no way Daniel could/would have. He did however teach them very good English.

"Greetings from Earth, Doctor Jackson" - very cute, it's sad that Ferretti disappears into the ether by season 2.

Not the face of a woman who is shy, but a woman who knows how to make An Entrance. She even smirks a little as she walks over.

There is however a weird little moment where Sha're is reluctant to shake Jack's hand - maybe she wasn't impressed about his little joke brushing by Daniel? Both of these beats are removed from the final cut version which is probably for the best.

It's criminal Sha're doesn't actually get to speak in this scene, and in fact how few lines she has in the episode altogether.

It's disappointing, because Sha'uri was such an integral part of the film, and yet the show tries to get rid of her as quickly as possible to get Daniel on SG-1 and give him a core drive for the next three seasons. Her abduction is the precipitating event of Daniel's ten-year character arc and defining moment of transition from film!Daniel to show!Daniel, and yet she doesn't get a character arc of her own.

However I do think Shanks and Vaitiare Hirshon sell the relationship in the few scenes they have - they're very physically connected/protective of one another, perhaps concerned that Jack's there to take Daniel back with him (which is in fact the case). And of course Sha're, annoyed at being left behind while Daniel shows the others his discovery, gives him a very proprietary kiss.

I think show!Sha're gets a bad rap, she's spunky and I love her. I just wish there was more of her.

Sam and Daniel insta-bonding - Daniel making an intuitive leap to solve the puzzle and Sam filling in the gaps with science to make it work, they really are kindred spirits.

The issue with the cartouche though is that the symbols look like hierogyphs, not star constellations/Stargate glyphs.

Back in the pyramid, there's a scene sorely missing here - imagine if rather than ogling Sha're, Ferretti had a conversation with her, giving us more of a chance to know Sha're on her own terms rather than just Daniel's wife and the object of others desire. Especially when Ferretti was on the original mission so knows she's more than a "beautiful woman" - it would also give additional weight to him remembering the gate address where she's taken later on.

Teal'c clocks Skaara's gun as the same tech he saw on Earth in breadcrumb no. 2.

"Nothing good can ever come through this gate!" "You came through it , Daniel" I mean...I realise there are a lot of problematic white savior-y aspects to the show, but idk, this scene and the Abydonians all petting Daniel to say goodbye gets me. Sean Amsing as Tobay also returns in Full Circle which is a nice callback to this scene.

The final cut removes a reaction shot from Jack which I have mixed feelings about - I get that the focus probably needs to be on Daniel at that moment, but I do think it's important for Jack to appreciate how Daniel really found a home with the Abydonians and was appreciated and loved by them, and it's nicely played by RDA.

LOL, watch out for how many times Jack pats Daniel on the shoulder. Apparently that annoyed Shanks so RDA kept doing it, but it's also a nice little setup of their relationship going forward.

There's a second shoulder pat in the hallway.

Just two dudes, drinking beer, (not) talking about their feelings.

“She was the complete opposite of everyone else, she practically fell on the floor laughing every time I tried to do some kind of chore they all took for granted.” Underrated line, because it gives important context to Daniel and Sha’re’s relationship, and perhaps more importantly, how Daniel characterises her - she is the one who keeps him grounded, who teases him, there is balance to their relationship. There’s potentially an interesting parallel there to Vala in the later seasons, although it manifests in a very different way.

“I think she forgave me for what happened to our kid, she just couldn’t forget…I’m the opposite, I can never forgive myself, but sometimes I can forget.” This is a great scene.

The Final Cut removes all the “harem scenes” and while I can see why, we do lose a bit of context to Teal'c's involvement in the process as he is the one who chooses the women from the holding cell to go into the harem, and then from the harem to be presented to Apophis.

There was a missed opportunity to actually see Sha're interact with the other prisoners - she could have had a conversation with Weterings at least, find out she was from Earth, perhaps assure her that the others would be coming to rescue them.

To the surprise of no one I’m sure, this episode does not pass the Bechdel test.

But there is a hint of solidarity among the prisoners - first in the holding cell where the others hold Skaara back, and here in the harem Sha're squeezes the hand of another woman.

Weterings is killed by the hand device which keeps the electrical current aesthetic from the movie the show will later abandon - as Teal'c looks perturbed.

Daniel back on Earth immediately getting stuck into the coffee even though no one else is drinking, lol.

"Ra played a god, the sun god, he borrowed the religion and culture of the ancient Egyptians he brought through the gate and used it to enslave them." A bit of a change from the movie here, where it was the other way around - slightly less problematic!

Everyone is in dress blues except Kawalsky who is in camo, and Daniel, who is wearing Jack's clothes.

"Colonel I'd like to remind you that rescuing Dr Jackson's wife is a secondary objective." This line was removed in the final cut and I don't know why? It adds to Samuel's bastardry.

Has everyone forgotten about Weterings?

Shoulder pat no. 3!

In the second harem scene Sha're is now sitting isolated from the other women - did she argue with them? Just trying not to be noticed? What happened offscreen?

Also what's going on in the top left corner - it looks like the healing device! Maybe Sha're did throw down with one of the others and that's why she's on her own. I have to read into things, because the show gives us so very little of Sha're and it's a real shame.

She does get a good moment fighting against the guards though - earlier she was defiant and told them she wasn't afraid of them, here she bites one of them on the arm.

I understand from a narrative perspective why Sha're is the one who gets taken over, but it really is Schrodinger’s fridging - until she’s found Sha’re is both alive and dead for the purpose of the narrative, both Daniel’s primary drive and source of inner conflict.

Christopher Judge does so much with so little. Master of the cheek twitch!

Oof, the nudity. In isolation from everything else, it doesn’t bother me - it’s intended to be horrifying, not titillating, and is effective in conveying objectification and dehumanisation by the Goa'uld.

However, it was a studio request, Wright/Glassner regretted doing it, it doesn’t fit the tone of the show going forward, but most importantly Hirshon was pressured into the full frontal when she only agreed to topless, and for that alone it should be excised.

The puppet symbiotes are so much more effective than the cgi they use later. I don’t think there’s another scene in the show that really captures the menace of the Goa’uld like this one - the symbiote (who we'll later learn is Amaunet) slithering around on Sha're's body is just so visceral and horrifying. The glowing eyes before implantation is an effective touch.

Jack sticking Daniel in it with Sam by saying Sha're was a gift could be amusing, except the conversation gets cut off before Daniel can explain. It annoys me, because Daniel not "accepting" Sha're was actually the point? It's kind of important! I assume he does tell Sam the whole story later.

"Unless we want to get ourselves a really bad reputation, I just think we should avoid shooting the first people we meet on a new planet" is a nice follow up to Daniel's sarcastic "well that would have been an excellent reason to shoot everyone" from the film. At this point, Daniel doesn't appear to be carrying a weapon other than a knife. Oh, how that will change!

The Chulak priests speak "a derivation of Arabic" and something else - the Goa'uld language is meant to be similar to Abydonian, which is based on Ancient Egyptian. Of course modern Egyptian is an Arabic dialect that came much later, but perhaps we are to assume Goa'uld - or at least the Chulak vernacular - evolved along similar lines.

Jack unable to shoot Sha're when she stands in front of Apophis is a nice movie callback.

The final cut has a good extra scene between Sam and Daniel where he is quite delusional thinking Sha're might just be drugged, and Sam tries to talk sense into him. Daniel's blind optimism against Sam's pragmatic realism will be an important aspect of their relationshio going forward.

Shoulder pat no. 4!

Teal'c P.I. sees Skaara talking to Jack and starts putting pieces together - the weapons from the opening scene, the weapons on Abydos + Jack's watch, and Daniel helpfully supplying the Earth glyph.

Alexis Cruz is committed to the film pronunciation of Sha’uri, bless him.

“But you are a great warrior, we defeated Ra together!” Skaara’s faith in Jack is so pure.

Skaara gets a shoulder pat too.

"Another fine day on planet Kawalsky" - This line was removed from the final cut! What a tragedy. I get the sense Brad Wright feels a bit cringe about the campier aspects of the show, but it's part of the charm! To be fair Ferretti was more of the wisecracker in the movie rather than Kawalsky, but I love that show Kawalsky is a little goofy.

I'm sorry, what is this silver monstrosity? I guess a sliver of credit that after the nudity not going for a sexy alien outfit, but this is a hate crime. I also have a very high tolerance, and even affection for, silly Stargate headgear, but there's camp and then there's ugly.

Peter Williams as Apophis though: 10/01, no notes.

"They're going to choose...who will be the children of the gods." I do love it when they say the title of the thing in the thing.

The subtle moment where Teal'c motions that Jack should kneel is a nice setup - Skaara being very reluctant and angry about kneeling, and being the last to do so, is nice movie continuity. Skaara really gets shortchanged by the show after this episode.

"How much would I remember if you chose me?" I wonder if Daniel ever thinks that maybe him drawing the attention of the Goa'uld contributed to Skaara getting chosen. You know, just to really lay on the angst and guilt.

So the premise is that these Apophis underlings are choosing hosts for their children who are symbiotes ready for implantation, which doesn't really fit with what we learn about Goa'uld queens/reproduction later. We also learn later that Skaara is taken as a host for Apophis's son Klorel which doesn't sqaure with these two choosing him.

Headcanon time! This is actually Zipacna who we meet later arguing for Klorel at Triad - different actor, of course, but he wears a similarly silly hat. So Amaunet now has access to all of Sha're's memories of Skaara and she and Apophis decide that he will make a good host - maybe she also likes the idea of a family resemblance between herself and Klorel (I think we can assume he is also Amaunet's son?). But Apophis doesn't want anyone to know he's choosing a host for his offspring, so sends Zipacna out to do it for him.

This makes sense of Klorel later claiming that Apophis chose his host, and also gives backstory to Zipacna showing up in Pretense. And in the scene, the Goa'uld make a very quick decision to take Skaara, while the rest get very grossly examined people before choosing.

Shoulder pat no. 5!

"I have nowhere to go." Teal'c turning on his brother Jaffa to save a roomful of people, not expecting to survive himself, really hits.

"For this, you can stay at my place." hee!

Jack not wanting to hear it when Teal'c tells him Skaara is no longer himself is a turnabout of the earlier scene with Daniel. Not so flip now it's your Emotional Support Abydonian, are you Jack?

Kawalsky getting Goa'ulded doesn't seem to hurt as much as Sha're's - because the symbiote isn't mature, or because Amaunet is particularly sadistic?

Soon to be SG-1 posing for their album cover.

It was the late 90's when tvs were tiny, so everyone had to stand uncomfortably close.

And we end with shoulder pat no. 6!

[archduchessofnowhere]

The Accidental Empress Reading Blog III: Very Belated Final Thoughts

After I brought up Pataki again last night I realized that I never finished to give you my opinion of her Sisi novel, so let’s say goodbye to the year with a final review! I originally had planned to make a detailed commentary of parts two and three as I did with the first part (you can read it here and here), but ultimately I decided to just write my final thoughts without going too much into detail since firstly, I don’t remember every detail of the plot anymore, and secondly, my main problems with this book can actually be boiled down to only two points.

My first major issue was something that I already noted on my previous posts about the novel: the pacing. The book is divided in three parts, each which makes up of about a third of the total length. Part one is set during August of 1853, and covers about four? five? days. I personally don’t think the engagement deserves that many pages, specially when you’re planning to cover Elisabeth’s life up until the Hungarian coronation of 1867: the part dragged on for what seemed like an eternity, and soon I was very bored. We already know Sisi is going to marry Franz, why did we need over a hundred and twenty pages to tell that? Let’s get over it quickly and jump to her being empress please!

… Is what I thought while reading part one, but that ended up being a monkey-paw wish, because from part two onwards the painfully slow pacing turns into INCREDIBLY FAST. The second part covers from September of 1853 until sometime after Rudolf’s birth (the timeline becomes foggy at this point and it’s not really clear anymore in which year we are), each chapter covering about a year. The change is jarringly noticeable: we go from having a detailed day-by-day story to entire months being described in sentences.

And the pacing gets even WORSE in part three, which covers from August of 1862 until the Hungarian coronation. You may be wondering, didn’t the previous part end in 1858? What happened in-between? Well, guess what. WE DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. Part two ends with Sisi’s “flight” from court, which in reality happened at the end of 1860, but in the Patakiverse after Rudolf’s birth. Part three starts with her returning to court after being away FOR FOUR UNINTERRUMPTED YEARS. I won’t go on details on how CRAZY this is: to summ it up, the real Elisabeth was away from court for two years, but she did came back to Vienna in-between her trips, and the last months of her “flight” she spent them within the borders of the empire. And she was always in contact with her husband and updated about her children! What annoys me so much of the four years off-page isn’t the inaccuracy however, but that Sisi comebacks with AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT PERSONALITY, because the years away hardened her and made her more aware of how she can use her beauty for her own ends. A change I would’ve love to see happening ON PAGE! But no, the only thing we learn of Sisi’s years away from court is this:

(Lobkowitz wasn’t even Elisabeth’s Oberhofmeister anymore at this point)

And to add insult to injury, this isn’t even the only time it happens! Because after we get two chapters set in 1862… WE HAVE ANOTHER FOUR YEARS TIMESKIP TO 1866 AAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

Sorry. I just didn’t like the pacing. Let’s move on to my second major issue: this is yet another Sisi story that revolves almost entirely around men.

I’ve complained about this before, but in general I don’t like how in fiction Elisabeth is often reduced to the relationships she had with the different men in her life. We know for a fact that she also had close relationships with many women: her mother, her sisters, her ladies-in-waiting, her daughter, other fellow royal women. So it’s deeply frustrating to me when these relationships are ignored in favor of, for exemple, a fictional affair with a man she was just friendly with. Which is exactly what this novel does.

In the first half of the book Sisi’s entire character revolves around Franz Josef: she starts out as a lovestruck teenager and as the story progresses she slowly falls out of love with him as she discovers that he won’t stand up to his mother for her and that he is cheating on her. During this part Sisi doesn’t have almost any positive relationship with a woman: her sister Helene completely disappears after part one. Her mother only returns a little before the end of the second part (in a very inaccurate scene that I still liked only because it redeemed Ludovika’s character). Archduchess Sophie is a stereotypical evil mother-in-law, Countess Esterhazy is the controlling “governess”, and her two ladies, Countesses Caroline Lamberg and Paula Bellegarde are depicted as scheming women who conspire against Sisi and try to seduce her husband (… what). Needless to say all these characters are incredibly shallow, because the only person that is given a somewhat more nuanced characterization is Franz Josef.

This trope of “every woman is out there to get our super special female protagonist” is already annoying on its own, but here is also accompanied by a lesser known trope that is equally annoying to me: “the only women who are good are the servant characters that have almost no character traits other than adoring our protagonist and serving her loyally”. Sisi has a (fictional) maid called Agata that accompanies her to Vienna, and is the only person who treats her well during the first half. But we know NOTHING of this maid other than she is Polish and she loves Sisi. She is a fictional character, you can give her a more important role if you want!

Meanwhile, the real life people that had important roles in Elisabeth’s life are also turned into this kind of character. Marie Festetics, who entered in service of the empress in 1872, was one of her closest ladies-in-waiting, and while we know that she did adore her mistress, she could also be very critical of her. In The Accidental Empress, Festetics is a lady-in-waiting since 1854, and her role is completely minimal. We are told (specially on the last part) that she is Sisi’s oldest and most faithful friend at court, but they interact so little on-page (and their moments together are always so bland) that it’s hard to buy. Worse of all, however, was the treatment of Ida Ferenczy: she only appears a couple of chapters before the book ends as a maid that Andrássy recommended. While Pataki keeps in her story that Ida was hired to help Sisi practice Hungarian, on page her only interactions with Sisi consist in fetching her things and receiving orders from her. In real life Ida was a gentry girl that amazingly managed to enter court despite her lack of noble ancestry (there is even a theory that she was actually infiltrated by Deák and Andrássy to influence the empress in favor of Hungary), and Elisabeth liked her so much that she CREATED a position for Ida (the reader of the empress) so she could stay in her staff. This is one of the cases in which the real Elisabeth asserted her agency and power in court, which the book completely takes away from her and by doing so destroys her special relationship with Ida!!!

So you remember how I said that in the first half of the book Sisi’s entire character revolves around Franz? Well that’s because in the second half her entire character revolves around Andrássy. Yep, this is one of those stories. I won’t go into details, but honestly it wasn’t even the made up affair what bothered me: it was the implication that Sisi only got involved with the Compromise because she got personally involved with Andrássy. Elisabeth isn’t allowed to have any sort of political ideas on he own, she must be guided, she must be told what to think by the men in her life. This role must always be fulfilled by a man, and that’s why we can’t have Ida Ferenczy or Marie Festetics discussing politics with Sisi, that’s why they are just background servants that only fetch her things and help her cover up an affair while Andrássy gets to be the dashing hero that saves Sisi for her trapping and passionless marriage.

And I’m just tired of this kind of narrative.

If you read until here, thank you! I’m incapable of writing short reviews. All this being say I do plan eventually read the sequel, solely out of an annoying completionist drive and because I’m curious if Pataki cared for and listened to any of the critics she received from people who like the real Elisabeth. Please let me know of you’d like another in-depth sort of commentary or prefer a general review!

[ankh-morporkianpostalworker]

Now that I've finished The Path of Daggers and Winter's Heart, we're gonna update the Most Based Wheel of Time Character List:

10 - Min: While I don't mind Aviendha, Aviendha is also the sworn sister of the nost cringe character in the series, making her cringe by association. Min not being totally cringe (and her really cool power and supporting Rand without trying to control him) gets her the number 10 spot.

9 - Perrin: It's not Perrin's fault he got burdened with a filler arc. Saving his wife is a worthy goal that shows loyalty and caring for her, but reading the parts where he's just tracking her down in Winter's Heart, coming off the high of his performance in The Path of Daggers, really lost him some points.

8 - Lan: As much as Lan is a Wife Guy, he's also willing to help summarily execute people who tried to kill the man who was, for a time, his friend. He also stands up to The Dragon Reborn despite knowing what he can do, which shows courage, a based property.

7 - Davram Bashere: One of Rand's best men, Bashere is also willing to call Rand out when he does something deplorable, like his use of Callandor resulting in the wanton slaughter of Rand's own men. Rand trusts him completely, and such loyalty is pretty based. He'd cracked the top five no problem if it weren't for the fierce competition he faces.

6: Lews Therin: The Original Dragon. His moments of increasing lucidity provide some of the most interesting lines in the series thus far. The fact that he's growing more and more aware of Rand, and thinks Rand is a madman (including the line "I would not mind you in my head, if you were not so clearly mad") add an absolutely fascinating aspect to the series, and I'm excited to see what happens next.

5 - Birgette: She's a badass, despite being bonded to the most cringe character in the franchise. She also acts as said character's moral compass.

4 - Nynaeve: Of the Emond's Field Folk who left in the first book, she's the only one who has kept her eyes on the prize. Her original goals were to 1) protect Rand, Perrin, Mat, and Egwene, and she has continued to do so in one way or another for most of the series (being forcibly separated from Mat after being the only person to treat him with empathy at the climax of A Crown of Swords doesn't count against her). Of all the Aes Sedai in the world, Rand trusts only her to link with him to cleanse said saidin, a moment of extreme vulnerability. Her other goal, to learn to Heal with saidar, has been accomplished, along with her secondary goal of marrying Lan.

3 - Rand: Rand being willing to sacrifice his own life to cleanse saidin, and pulling it off, was pretty based. While his descent into madness isn't great, he's also an absolute badass who takes so much punishment throught the series that when he's bonded to Min, Aviendha, and Elayne they all gasp in astonishment at the pain he constantly carries with him. Also, him telling Alanna to fuck off was enormously rewarding, especially when he tells her what everyone else has been thinking about her forcibly bonding him.

2 - Moiraine: Has she been dead for thousands of pages? Yes. Did she teach Rand most of what he knows about politics? Yes. Did she Gandalf one of the Foresaken? Yes. Is she the first person on Rand's list of women who's deaths are on him, one he chants like a litany, showing that her mourns her death? Yes. The first three make her based and the last shows her impact on Rand.

1 - Matrim fucking Cauthon: He's got the loyalty of his men, even when he's away from them. He almost died saving his adopted son. He engineers a plan to escape an occupied city in a way that prioritizes said son's safety. He escapes his relationship with his abuser. All cement his place at the top of his list, making him tbe reigning champion and most based character.

[mortallyclearwonderland]

Unicorn: Warriors Eternal - Episode 2

I watched Unicorn: Warriors Eternal episode 2. I watched the first one on youtube and didn't know the second was out. But now I caught up on the series.

The great things from episode 1 still remain. So let's start with the ''negatives''. Let's go from the smallest ''problem'' to the biggest one. The reason why I used '' '' is because those things didn't bother me too much. But they might be for some people and it's worth addressing.

1. I know there are people who would love to see an entire episode dedicated to Edred/Dimitri and Alfie/Seng, because the first one was pretty much about Emma/Melinda. I personally don't mind because Emma/Melinda had to share her screen time with the lore and the setup for the story. Also, I hate when stories drag on for no reason if they don't have enough backstory for an entire episode add something else important! I think they implemented introductions to Alfie/Seng and Dimitri/Edred. Also, it's not like it's over. Their current and previous lives fighting for dominance seem to be a major part of the story. We just have to wait and see. Hope it's not a letdown.

2. The voice acting. I don't know if the voice actors for Emma and Alfie are young and inexperienced or if they try to put on an accent and they can't keep it and act emotionally at the same time but something's not right. When Emma is quiet and shy the voice actress fits perfectly but when she needs to shout, it's as if she doesn't want to wake her parents in the next room. And when Emma and Alfie have their Rush Hour 3-like comedy routine it's like they just reed lines and don't talk to each other. Dimitri/Edred has the best voice actor because he actually can emote and his voice is nice to listen to. This is great because it seems he's the one who's going to do a lot of talking with his personality and being the one who has to explain a lot of stuff because he for some reason can remember more than the others. (I will write about it later.) I've seen people upset that after his transformation he lost his Russian accent. I understand. In the limited time he was on screen Dimitri charmed a lot of people and out of all characters, he looks the least like his original self. He only kept his outfit. But I think it can be a great indicator of who is talking. If it's a Dimitri who's in control we will hear his accent. At least I hope so. It would've been a waste if they didn't use it. All in all, I don't mind and it should get better as the series goes on.

3. Timeline? The only date we have been provided is 1772. That's when the school for orphaned boys has been established. We have no idea how long it's been active and how long it's been abandoned. It can be the 21st century with steampunk coating for all we know. 

4. My biggest problem with this scene is how confusing it is. Emma is watching Winston play against the boys from the school for orphaned boys. I guess they let boys of all ages play because Alfie is referred to as just a kid even after who knows how much time has passed since then. In all the information about the show, the word teenagers keep coming up. I don't know about you, but for me, a teenager is a person from the age of 13 to 19. You know? The -teen part! Emma was about to get married so I assume she's 18 at least. I guess Dimitri is 18/19 because he must be old enough to travel on his own. Unless he had run away from home.

Just out of curiosity, I googled marriage in 18th-century England. These are the results!

Until 1823 the legal age in England for marriage was 21 years for men and women although after 1823 a male could marry as young as 14 without parental consent and a girl at 12 although most girls didn't marry until around the ages of 18 to 23.

And there you have it folks! The show takes place after 1823 and Emma is around 18/19 years old. But hey, it's just a theory. A TV show theory! And cut.

This episode was fun. I have to admit I feel kind of smug knowing I predicted the love triangle. Wait is a triangle if there are 5 people in it? Emma loves Winston, Melinda loves Edred, and Dimitri might have some attraction to Emma/Melinda but he could've just been nice. .) Shipers, your time has come!

[saiskulls-110]

also as per my last ramble in the tags i want to add that though i absolutely understand and also feel frustrated by the show never bringing up that some women aren't interested in romance, or dating, or anything like that; i feel like the people writing angry reviews about it need a little more perspective.

japan still struggles with sexism. every aspect of it. and we know this. but they've dealt with it in completely different ways to it than their western/european counterparts. in japan it is STILL common for a girl's dream in life to be getting married. and it is glorified.

teen girls really do rely on romance as a crux of their culture there (and of course there are exceptions, but it is far more common than you can imagine—), and that's not just an adults view on it.

the manga industry has been coming out with, even for a non-jp audience, incredibly progressive stuff recently. unfortunately, when it comes to anime, the amount of hoops artists have to jump through to get it greenlit for a show is crazy- and that's on top of the struggle of having their original work (most likely) edited by a company first.

it's going to be very common that work that would have been explicitly, comfortably queer gets watered-down simple, or removing any real moments that would canonize a character's queerness, or at worst borderline fetishised in its final product. that being said, romantic killer FEELS like queer content. moments just Make Sense and feel Familiar through an aro/trans/gay lens.

i'm not going to pull up any scenes in particular, not just because it's a good watch i recommend if you want to tear up, but because it's the show In General— beginning to end, that feels like a familiar experience. If you take any moment in the show to try and view it as already-established representation it is glaringly obvious that:

Makoto has a little crush on Junto. Anzu is, if not arospec, pan, and has no problem being clear that she's fine with romantic interaction with men, women and enbies without a second thought as to their gender. Saki at one point had a crush on Anzu, she might still now! Hijiri struggles with understanding what other people find fun, that goes for romance too, and in small scenes he makes it clear that he cares for anzu just as much as the other prettyboys.

Even Kazuki and Junto feel like they have something going on at times — but that one's probably just my own lil headcanon.

Point is: Good, queer anime is hard to come by. I'm not saying 'take what you can get' or 'it won't get better', but show some understanding as to the differences in culture and how each scene might be read differently to someone that grew up in that space.

we got The Stars Align go watch that. for frame of reference that show didn't get it's final episode finished because there wasn't enough interest from japanese viewers and the showrunners didn't want to keep funding something with a good trans-non-binary character.

[runawaymun]

Yeah as a member of the lgbtq+ community, i think the smut and marriage question is complicated to say the least.

On one hand, I find anyone who is willing to write smut about their community but not willing to be married in it to be full of internalized homophobia. As you mentioned, a lot of self loathing. I struggle with some internalized homophobia because of society and society’s perceptions and expectations of queer people and of the lack of healthy love and representation of us so I definitely get it.

But on the other hand, (imo) while there’s something to be said in cultures and communities who cannot be open with their sexuality or face death, shunning, violence, etc., OP sounds more like they’re just trying to adhere to their faith. Which is understandable to a certain degree, especially when it’s a big part of their lives, but in the end, Christianity is a choice, any religion is a choice and sexuality and gender identity is not. You can choose not to be Christian if you feel that your holy book doesn’t believe in your safety and existence (it doesn’t obv because the current bible is just mistranslation after mistranslation for the original language so it’s not as accurate as people would think). And to think that your religion is the only way and the only religion is religious supremacy and is a very common belief in Christian communities (and others, as well. It’s especially common with Abrahamic faiths).

Even if it’s someone who is queer, the vibe is very similar to those very commonplace straight women in fandom who watch yaoi or men who watch lesbian porn but won’t let us marry or adopt children because we’re “deviants destroying the fabric of society”. I’m not trying to be mean (and I genuinely hope this doesn’t come across that way) but that’s how it feels to other queer people, especially if they’re not Christian.

And I know it’s complicated and I know it’s hard. Society as a whole doesn’t love us and support us. But we should also do our best to support ourselves, too, I think whether that means finding a more liberal or welcoming church or delving into the first translations of your holy book or something else. Just know there’s options and that you can love yourself and enjoy a life with a person you love, OP.

oh hey it's good to have you in my inbox!! <3

I agree with you so I'm not gonna add anything except to gently say that for queer Christians, for us, especially those who were raised in the church like nonnie and I...there isn't a sense of our sexuality or our faith being more integral to our sense of self then the other. That's what makes this so hard. So yes, Christianity is a choice and being Queer isn't. But oftentimes our faith is where our families are, our entire support system, our communities, our personal histories, and our values of right and wrong. And when you grow up being taught that homosexuality is a sin full-stop, and then you get a bit older and you have to deconstruct that...well then you have to deconstruct your entire life. Possibly your childhood. Your entire paradigm, possibly. And that's really fucking scary. If this thing that I was taught is wrong, what else is wrong, is anything I believe real? I guess that's why I'm being so cautious about this whole thing. Especially because I have no idea about nonnie's age or home situation.

I do think everyone should experience an honest existential crisis at least once in their life (preferably way more than that). It's really healthy. And I absolutely encourage nonnie to please -- don't be afraid to go down that route. Like my bud here said, there are options and you can love yourself and have a life with a person you love.

[the-library-alcove]

Hey! What do you think of this post from ActualMermaid? There are mainly Christians reblogging it and there are no Jewish people speaking on it. I am not surprised as she seems to be a White Christian speaking over marginalized people to prove that a person in her worship isn't antisemetic.

Also, I wanna add something here.

"It wasn't in the Bible" doesn't excuse the fact that centuries, especially before white christian america was formed, that early Christian Leaders executed gay men, took the rights away from Jewish people, made women inferior to men (Paul, looking at you).

"The Bible said it was fake Jews, not real Jews". Okay okay. Who would FAKE being Jewish at the time? And did we forget about the Khazar myth?

"It was talking about pedophilia". Okay, so Mary wasn't impregnated by a billion year old God or Angel, and just had the baby on her own. Not to mention Joseph was a young adult when they married, and the "Carpenter Jesus" story is fallable.

Don't forget what Theo, Justinian I, Justinian, Valentinian, and Constantantes did. The 1946 translation theory is bullshit when even in Colonial America LGBTQ people were being harmed from a Bible scripture.

Even then if it didn't say it, Christian LGBTQ people, especialy white ones like to speak over Jewish people and deny history. You are still privledged if you are LGBTQ and not of a marginalized group and it was "never in the Bible".

The word "Gentile" appears so many times in the New Testament, which most Christians follow, which explicitly says "Jesus went to preach to the Gentiles", which mainly were...you guessed it. Roman. And Romans and Jewish people at the time were NOT friends. Jesus is explicitly said to leave the Jewish people because they rejected him. "But the Romans executed him!!!!!!!!", So? They later adopted his faith, and many writers of the Bible were Roman, there's even a book in the Bible that says "ROMANS", how can people be so fucking dumb and gullible. Now, I would like your take on the Jesus being executed by Romans thing and why they did it, because that's my take.

I just saw @didyoumeanxianity's own takedown of that antisemitic post by a self-admitted non-expert in history speaking over Jews, and I have a headcold that is kicking my ass, so I'll just link to their post, and cosign their conclusions:

[automatismoateo]

Disoriented after holidays with my husband’s family via /r/atheism

Disoriented after holidays with my husband’s family

I’m trying not to be hateful but I’m myself resentful about my interactions with them. For someone who tries to live a peaceful life that’s an incredibly uncomfortable feeling.

My parents are Christian but I didn’t grow up in church. I’m okay with the idea of Jesus, and feel like the adults in my life modeled the attributes that make him a positive archetype.

I’m not religious. The super religious people that I was forced to see at family functions in my formative years made me uncomfortable. I thought they were mentally ill, even as child.

I’m a principled person, I love ritual, and I do seek the luminous. Maybe I’m agnostic. Still figuring it out. Maybe I do feel some guilt that I’ve been sorting it out while parenting my own children. I suppose my husband has stolen some of my faith.

He was forced into church. Like Southern Baptist kind of church. We married quickly, and only after marriage and a child did I realize what a can of worms religion is as it pertains to his family of origin.

It fucked him up. I think he was brainwashed by his family and his church. While he would like to think that he’s his own person, his worldview is very much still in tact. While he may not be homophobic, he may vote differently, he thinks he is independent and progressive, his thinking is still so rigid and self righteous. He’s denounced those views, claimed to be atheist and beats his chest about it, but tiptoes when he’s around his family.

He was a virgin until marriage. I wasn’t. His hang ups about sex have just killed my desire. Somehow men in his Sunday school were taught that women are obliged to serve husbands sexually.

The weird thing is, I don’t know who my husband is. He has no personality of his own. He has interests and ideas, but he primarily operates in three modes— his mom’s behaviors or his dad’s, and then maybe his own. His parents are still very much involved in our lives — and the person I know him to be as an individual doesn’t exist around them.

This last Christmas has turned me around. I just finished a degree, and his mother had always been kind of shitty and passive aggressive with me (usually when he’s in another room) but this time she dismissed the degree I recently earned (which took me years due to being a late bloomer and a SAH mom) then proceeded to tell me that she could do my job. It’s a specialized field.

His Dad wouldn’t let us leave without a sermon. Something about this is deeply offensive.

My husband has no thoughts — he’s been playing video games for the last two days and can’t figure out why I don’t want to get with him. I’m feeling hopeless.This is not a life consistent with my values. I don’t think I like my in laws or a husband who is clearly still under their control. I’m not sure what I’m looking for here. I think I just need to get this out in a safe space before I think about what it means for my future.

Edited to add that we’ve been to counseling, and he’s been encouraged by two LCSW to seek individual therapy. He hasn’t.

Submitted December 28, 2022 at 05:43PM by windorabug2020 (From Reddit https://ift.tt/ylwxTC6)

[gurren-logout-book-reviews]

The Merry Spinster: Tales of Everyday Horror by Mallory Ortberg  

A collection of short stories with each being one chapter in length. It’s hard to review the book without treating each individual as its own entity. However, the stories tend to follow a familiar theme of abusive or toxic relationships. Each story tends to have some conflict involving someone stepping over boundaries, gaslighting, or guilt tripping in some capacity. The stories are all reimagining’s of fairy tales and folklore. Some stories involve odd gender titles which I will address per story. The relationship each story has with gender ranges from interesting to almost seeming accidental. To try and help build backgrounds for each story, I will list the author’s inspirations for each tale (pg. 189-190). Some of which I caught on and could compare, but some of these I am not familiar with and looked up for better context.

The Daughter Cells (Sources: The Little Mermaid)  

The first story is also the cover of my copy of the book. The opening starts out as a reimagined version of the little mermaid, but with a monstrous sea girl rather than a typical mermaid. All the story bits play out the same as the original tale until the end. Instead of stabbing herself and turning into foam, she stabs the prince and his new wife and baths in their blood. Stealing their souls and returning to her true form in the sea. I’m always down for monster girls, and they build up more of the sea girl’s kingdom and lore which is an interesting perspective. It relates to the theme as the girl and prince don’t seem to view each other as individuals. She lays claim to him and decides he’s hers while he knows nothing. Then when she turns human, he doesn’t try and know her as a person, just a silent trophy until he is married. All in all, a good start to the book 3.5/5.  

The Thankless Child (sources: Cinderella, King Lear, The ladder of Divine Ascent, Lorica of St. Patrick, The Divine Praises, and Psalm 139)  

                This is the first instance of the odd gender naming choices. It could be something lost in translation, and it isn’t too distracting here, and also adds to some backstory of this world the tale takes place in. The girls have masculine to gender neutral names (Paul, Robin, and Gomer) and discuss wanting to get “wives”. Which they mean men. It is implied in the story that women are expected to do hard work.  

                The God Mother acts as the main antagonist, trying to guilt Paul into obedience and love over their passed mother; withholding food and giving out extra work while complaining Paul won’t let her love them. The God Mother seems to have them worship salt as God. It’s a bit confusing, but the theme is kept that Paul is forced to drink salt water to not be punished. This story seems to abruptly end to the point I thought my ADHD brain made me miss two pages, but no. It suddenly cuts to her living with the priest’s son as his husband who is caring and keeping house. Very odd, kind of weird paced, 2/5.  

Fear Not: An Incident Log (sources: the Book of Genesis)   

                To start off I was shocked when the source ended up being the book of Genesis. I guess it does have a “fear of God” aspect and the results of following without thinking. However, I found this one to be the least interesting and had to reread the chapter a few times to even remember it. Very slow and not for me. 1/5  

The Six-Boy Coffins (Sources: The Six Swans, and The Twelve Brothers  

                I love/hate this story. It was interesting and kept my attention, but I didn’t like it for whatever reason. I get the references they are pulling from, but I just didn’t like it. That isn’t to say it isn’t well written. The mom and dad (king and queen) are absolutely in the wrong to their kids, where the king thinks the sons are too much trouble and just wants to kill the them once he has a daughter and the mom lets the daughter know at every possible moment that her being alive makes her life worse and that she should never have been born. The boys live in the woods to escape their father, learning to be self-reliant and harboring a resentment that they think is toward their sister. When they meet when she is seven (she wanted them to come home and know them, her mother told her it was her fault they left) they instead love her, and they all live in the woods together. A few years go by (why did the king not send anyone to look for his daughter he wanted so badly by the way) and she sees white lily’s growing in the yard. At no point were lilies ever mentioned up to this point, so the reader ends up just as shocked when she decided to pick them for her brothers, but then they turn into swans?  

                She has a dream about her mother telling her she is a worthless failure for picking flowers she shouldn’t have (hello? at this point she is twelve-year-old girl? And again, the flowers are NEVER MENTIONED). She says to turn her brothers back she needs to suffer more than all of them plus their mother combined. She is tasked to stay absolutely silent for 7 years while making shirts out of thistle needles for each brother, and she needs to finish them by the seven years. About halfway through the “punishment” a king from a different kingdom finds her and because she can’t speak just decides to marry her without any input from her at all. He tries to stop her from making the clothes and she forces herself to have abortions, so she doesn’t have to think of anything but her goal. At the 7 year mark the king decides she is a failure (from what he believes are miscarriages) and decides to burn her at the stake. At the last minute she flings her shirts onto her swan brothers, and they come out and burn the king for hurting their sister. Story fits the theme, kept my attention, and made me angry at everyone involved. 4/5  

The Rabbit (source: The Velveteen Rabbit)  

This one is odd, and unsettling. A toy rabbit that has been neglected wants to become real. When a boy’s nanny can’t find his usual bedtime toy, she gives him the rabbit. The rabbit is filled with so much hate. They tell this boy horrible things about how they’re their only friend and that he’s worthless. The rabbit starts saying he “loves” the boy as the boy becomes sicker and sicker. The rabbit starts becoming nicer looking and beginning to feel “real” through the boy’s suffering. The boy becomes absolutely dependent on the rabbit or freaks out if they are separated. Once the boy finally dies the parents decide to burn all his possessions and as they try to burn the rabbit it grows legs and hops away. The idea that someone who is supposed to bring you comfort and love and is using you and actively hurting you just triggers a pain in me. This rabbit is so focused on themself and enjoys the boy being hurt. Just oof. 3.5/5  

The Merry Spinster (sources: Beauty and the Beast)  

                The namesake of the book, the story follows closer to the original fairy tale than the Disney version. It’s a bit loose at first to make the connection, but then it starts making more sense. I don’t know why her family treated her so bad for *reads notes* doing all the housework and cooking, then spending her downtime reading instead of spending ridiculous amounts of money on flashy things. They even call her Beauty because she is so plain and not great looking? The book makes it a more modern retell with a mom going to get back their fortune and the kids asking for different things. The brother (Sylvia, who is the worst) wants a car, sister (Catherine) wants jewels, and beauty wants a single rose.   

                Mom stops in the middle of the night on the way back at an old mansion with food laid out that she just starts eating like that is a normal thing to do when breaking and entering. She notices a rose garden and decides to pick one, so add theft to the crime list of this lady. That is when the Beast shows themself (but is never described other than “beastly” so not sure how much of an actual “beast” he is or if he’s just a giant horrid person. Hard to tell with this book sometimes) and demands payment for the flower. Mom offers up Beauty, and the Beast accepts. Beauty happily goes, much to her family’s rejection (finally realized y’all will have to do the chores now?) and the Beast welcomes her with food and a library full of books she can’t read due to…a spell? It’s never quite stated. The Beast says she can have everything if she marries him. She declines. He continues asking becoming angrier each time and she still says no and that she doesn’t want to be married. The beast takes the mansion’s pleasures and then says if she doesn’t marry him he will die.  

Well, he does die. Then Beauty goes home.  

                What an odd retelling. It fits the theme (abusive family to abusive household) and Beauty’s wants are always told are weird, ugly, and not normal. It’s just so jarring, I guess there are people who act like that, but with the family it seemed a bit much. I could understand the Beast parts giving her a hard time as that is the more fairytale part, but man they just don’t let women live their life the way they want in this world. Dragged on a bit in the beginning and end, but overall alright. 3/5  

The Wedding Party (source: the Goose Girl, The Earl of Mar’s Daughter, and the Daemon  Lover)  

                I liked this one and the banter reminded me of how my fiancé and I talk to each other. This story closest follows the “Daemon Lover” ballad, specifically “A Warning for Married Women”, but instead of an ex-lover it’s a toxic friend. The boy and girl spend most of the chapter playfully teasing each other and talking about their wedding in two days. It is building up what is clearly a stable and happy relationship. The groom continues bringing up the bride’s friend Tess, who he dislikes. He doesn’t think that friend does enough for the wife and that she should be more giving with her wealth to her best friend. The bride plays this off as not a concern and that she loves him and nothing will change that.  

                While waiting at the rehearsal dinner location, the bride seems to be becoming more sporadic and unable to stop telling jokes and defending Tess to have a real conversation with her to be husband about his concerns. They see Tess in the window and the bride goes out to talk to her, saying that he never likes Tess and that he looks like he has been fighting about her, so she wants to calm Tess down herself. However, the bride never returns. He waits in the rehearsal hall as he hears voices get quieter.   

                I feel this is supposed to be how people who are abused tend to go back to their abuser regardless of how happy they may be in a new circumstance, it’s something you seen in DV cases and you always question “But they treat you so bad, why do you keep going back?” It’s easy, and stress can make you make bad decisions. I can understand it. Good Story, fun dialogue, downer ending. 3.5/5.  

Some of Us had Been Threatening Our Friend Mr. Toad (sources: the Wind in the Willows and Some of Us had Been Threatening our Friend Colby)  

                This one was by and far my favorite. It was so creepy and deeply hurtful and my only complaint is it ends rather abruptly. The way the animals spoke to Toad hit a little too close to home to how my parents and some family members talked to me. This story follows the basic plot points of “The Wind in the Willows” except this time the animals don’t really care about Toad’s safety. They continually gaslight him in the very next sentence, making him feel like he doesn’t matter and is a bad person. They lie to make Toad feel more dependent on them, and the beginning (which is actually the ending) feels so much worse with the context of the “Threatening Colby” story, as what was implied becomes more obvious knowing that story. They are just so cruel, and you just feel a deep pit in your stomach for poor Mr. Toad. In the original he became humbled and a better friend, in this version he is likely killed by his cult like “friends” who believe they own him as their friend. I wish it was just so slightly longer and it made me feel like garbage. 4.5/5  

Cast Your Bread Upon the Waters (source: Johnny Croy and his Mermaid Bride)  

This story was so interesting, it is told from the perspective of a deeply religious mother who continually says her son is beautiful, but dumb. He does do dumb things to win his “dream” girl, a woman the mom describes as evil and a monster. It’s hard to tell if the girl is a sea monster or the mother is just ridiculous about who her son is with. She never grows to care for her daughter in law, and when she wants to take her family back to her home (the sea) this crazy ass lady drugs her grandkids, brands them with a cross, cuts her son’s hand off and takes out his eye, stabs the girl multiple times and sends her and her son out to see on an old boat. She keeps the grandkids even as the girl begs for her kids. 

This woman would be a top post on r/JUSTNOMIL. The story is an allegory towards indoctrinating family into a person’s own religious ideals and rejecting anything else as sinful, leading them to do horrible things in the name of “saving” people. I could easily see this being a fundamentalist mother not approving of her son marrying someone of a different religion, the way it’s told you just wonder what the hell is wrong with this lady? Stayed focus, very clear, and interesting. Makes me love my MIL more. 4/5. 

The Frog’s Princess (source: The Princess and the Frog/Frog Prince) 

This story has the most confusing language when it comes to gendered speak it is distracting from the story itself. The youngest daughter and her siblings are referred to as “he/him” throughout the story with no real explanation why. The only she pronoun used is for the sun. While I’m all for challenging gender norms this just comes off as an accident or just distracting. My only theory it’s supposed to be that the daughter belongs only to men (which is stated a few times that being beautiful means other people get to own you and it is your own fault if you don’t like it) so they don’t get their own identity outside of their father? The story is exactly the princess and the frog but the frog never turns human they just stay a frog. Still throws the nasty thing. Frog comes off gross in this and not sympathetic, which could be relating to someone being assaulted and being forced to be with that person by family no matter how bad they are. Overall, I found this story confusing and just not transformed as much as the other stories. I can kind of see what they’re trying to do, but I don’t feel it was executed well. 2/5. 

Good Fences Make Good Neighbors (source: The Fisherman and his Wife, and Frog and Toad are Friends) 

The final story really hammers home that theme of abusive relationships. A retelling of a “fisherman and his wife” but the fisherman’s partner is just referred to as a friend with gender neutral pronouns. Like in the story they want more and more, but in this they are constantly guilt tripping the fisherman. Making them feel like their partner is the only one contributing to the relationship when really all they have done is make demands and complaints. I mean, they can’t even give their sick partner some tea without making a huge deal out of sacrificing and being selfless to the “selfish” fisherman. The fish at the end rightfully calls this out, but in response the fisherman fucking fillets this magic fish and absolutely murders the shit out of the thing that has done nothing but give. The ending was a surprise for me. I know the book seemed to center themes around abusive people in our lives, but to end it with such a rejection of help and continued hurting because your feel worthless without the person who made you feel that way...ouch. I hated the partner 4/5. 

Final Thoughts Overall 

This book was such a mixed bag for me, which is the nature of anthology books. Sometimes you get absolute gems, but then the next chapter will be a slog to get through. While overall the book is an interesting look at the damage generational trauma, verbal and emotional abuse inflict seemingly long term, some writing choices just made the point distracting. I feel like writing about each individual story and looking back made me take in smaller details I didn’t think about before, going back knowing the theme makes the stories seem like more than what they are on the surface. It’s short and can be read in about 1-2 days. Overall rating 3/5. 

[men-fashion-tips]

Best Sherwani Styles for Groom

When a wedding is approaching, the bride is the focus of everyone's attention. Bride's family and friends spend hours putting together the best trousseau possible, complete with elaborate outfits. Whereas, men did not pay much attention to what they would wear during the wedding, simple outfits or whatever their family picked out for them would be final choice for them. However, the modern man is aware of the type of sherwani he wishes to wear for his wedding, as well as the accessories that will complement his sherwani worn over cotton vest.

If you're getting married this season, make sure to keep an eye out for these oh-so-perfect sherwani styles to choose from!

Chipkan Sherwani

Would you like to dress up like Prince Charming for the wedding? Then this sherwani style is the best option for you! Chipkan sherwanis are inspired by the Mughal era but have been updated to reflect contemporary tastes with constantly evolving new fabrics, patterns, and colors. If you want to add a touch of royalty to your look so that it appeals to almost everyone, this sherwani style is all you need.

Indo-Western Sherwani

Choosing an Indowestern Sherwani for your wedding may seem like an unusual choice, but if you want to try a new fashion experiment by switching your look from traditional to a little bit modern, these sherwanis are ideal. Wearing an Indowestern sherwani for a wedding will make you appear balanced as well as a trendsetter. Slip into a stylish Patiala bottom or Breeches to let the essence of these types of Sherwanis flow.

Angrakha Sherwani

If you have a well-toned upper body, an Angrakha sherwani is unquestionably a good choice. This Sherwani is in high demand, so you may have to visit several boutiques to find the perfect fit. Finding the right bottom wear is simple because this sherwani looks great with almost any bottom style. Don't forget to complete the look with a pair of royal mojaris.

Sherwani with Jacket

Jacket style sherwanis are unquestionably for those with princely tastes. This sherwani is made from classic fabrics such as banarasi, raw silk, or jamawar and is beautifully embellished with antique-looking motifs, zardozi, and a matte gold finish. Jacket style sherwanis should be paired with churidar and modern juttis made from the same fabric as the sherwani to complete the look.

Jodhpuri Sherwani

Jodhpuri sherwanis, also known as Bandhgala Sherwanis, originated in Rajasthan, as the name implies. This is another royal style that is frequently seen at royal weddings. With their color, bodywork, and charm, Jodhpuri sherwanis have finally made their way into Indian weddings. Only a designer with years of experience creates this sherwani, ensuring that the overall look of the outfit is maintained. You can dress up the sherwani by wearing it with jackets or stoles and classy mojaris.

What matters most, whether you are a bride or a groom, is that you look perfect on your wedding day; after all, it is the most important day of your life. When selecting an outfit, choose something that is comfortable for you. In terms of accessories, we recommend not going overboard and wearing just enough to add a touch of elegance and style to your look. If you choose something classic and regal, you will undoubtedly attract attention!

Sherwani Dupatta for Groom

Dupattas, also known as stoles or shawls, are an important piece of clothing for women in the Indian subcontinent. It is a long scarf that is commonly worn on salwar kameez, kurtis, lehengas, and almost all Indian ethnic clothing for women. These dupattas are made of lightweight material, making them easy to transport wherever you go. You can find them as simple plain material with a border that adds a classy touch, or with embellishments such as sequins or stone work. Hand-woven stoles, which are mostly worn with kurtas paired with cotton lungi, are also available.

These dupattas play an important role in both men's and women's traditional Indian attire. Women wear it almost everywhere, while men wear it with sherwanis, kurta payjamas, and kurtas. It is an important part of the Indian groom's wedding attire because it is required to drape on Sherwani. As neither men do not find it comfortable nor are unsure how to put on a dupatta, it is essential to choose and style the groom dupatta with comfort and style in mind.

If you are getting married soon, you should add an ethnic stole to your chosen sherwani as they will look stunning when paired perfectly. A few things to keep in mind when wearing a dupatta with a sherwani are as follows:

- Make sure the dupatta and bottom of the sherwani are the same color. A sherwani with less detailing than a heavily embellished dupatta will give your outfit an amazing look.

– If the sherwani has heavy work all over it, pair it with a simple dupatta with a border to complete the look.

– Along with the bottom color, the color of the dupatta should match the color of the turban/safa. Mojari can be combined with the same color.

– Dupattas can also be coordinated with the bride's dupatta, which she will wear with her bridal lehenga choli.

Also, the dupatta that you have chosen for your sherwani can be worn on kurtas or kurta payjamas that you intend to wear for any traditional occasion. It is a completely fashion statement accessory that completes any ethnic outfit for Men.

[therealvinelle]

Thoughts on Esme?

I have them.

To start with, I see Esme quite differently from the way this fandom appears to see her, yet also quite differently from the way Meyer intended for me to see her.

I think we all on this website have noticed that fandom has morphed Esme into a very different character than the one we met in the books.

Now, some people take this further than others, and it’s gotten to a point where I can’t tell if fandom believes this new and shinier Esme is canon, or if they know she isn’t canon but don’t care. Either way, the common denominator to all variations of fanon Esme is that this fandom is sick of the way Stephenie Meyer writes women, and see Esme as the worst affected by all. And fanon Esme is a vindication, one where Esme is an assertive, intelligent, feminist woman with a fantastic sex life and an impressive career. The ideal American woman of the 21st century.

And to each their own - if this makes people happy, then by all means. This meta is my personal opinion on her, though, and since fanon Esme has gained such a strong foothold in fandom I would be amiss not to bring her up.

Another thing I’d be amiss not to bring up is movie Esme. The Esme portrayed in the movies is, like so many of the characters, a different person than the one in the books. She is charming, warm, appears to have no difficulty controlling herself, and off the top of my head I can think of one time where she’s given what was originally Carlisle’s moment. I’m talking about sparing Bree - in the books this is something only Carlisle would do, something that has the others going, “jeez, Carlisle, only you”. In the film, this is a decision he and Esme make as a couple. This changes both their characters.

So, these versions of Esme exist, and they’re good characters, but they’re not the Esme I see in the books.

What we meet in canon is a woman who contents herself with being a 50’s housewife. No one in the house eats, she still knows how to cook. Making beautiful homes and keeping them beautiful is not just her passion, it appears to be all she wants to do. Now, humans can be housewives, and that’s a choice I respect very much, but Esme is a vampire, living in a vampire coven. The Cullens have zero need for a housewives. And she doesn’t do other things, either. There is only the creation of homes and being a mother. 

And so Esme floats through eternity, embodying the Mother archetype, going through all the motions mothers do with no deeper meaning to any of it.

She gives me the creeps.

I don’t know if anyone here has read Coraline, but in that book we meet the Other Mother. Other Mother always has time for Coraline, she makes all the delicious food Coraline could ever want, and loves her very much. The cat tells us that this may be, Other Mother may love Coraline, but it could also just be she wants to eat her. And since Bella does end up sowing buttons into her eyes, I can’t shake the association.

I think the Esme Platt who ran away to fend for herself and her child, who got a job and struggled to be independent, died with her child. This was her last tie to hope, to this world, and with his death she gave up on life in a way nothing could meaningfully recall.

She then wakes up as a vampire, beautiful (I’m guessing here, but one of the most common things men like to insult women is by demeaning our appearance. An abusive husband, living with Esme in a time where a woman’s appearance decided her worth even more than it does today, would definitely use this against her. Not to mention, it is a cornerstone in female socialization that we’re taught to value our looks. Becoming inhumanly beautiful would boost anybody’s spirits and install confidence, and I doubt Esme was an exception), stronger and faster than any human man, invulnerable, powerful in a way she never dreamed she could be. 

The man she idolized since she was a child, who was supposed to be an unattainable dream, is there, and even more wonderful than she remembered. He’s the one who saved her, and within the year he becomes her husband. 

(This by itself is too fantastical, too storybook ending, and I imagine snapped whatever remaining strings Esme still had tethering her to sanity. Any newborn vampire would find themselves in a surreal new state of being, but this is a step further. There’s getting to have it all, and then there’s... well, then there’s this.)

Then there is Edward. Days after she lost her son, she’s presented with a young man who lost his mother. 

(And this might be a post of its own, but: we never see Esme be a mother to any of the other Cullens, and I don’t think she is. It’s just Edward. And she loves him all the more for it. She wouldn’t blink at Bella dying if Edward decided his thirst weighed heavier than his fascination with the human. This is canon - they have a conversation about this, and Esme make her stance clear. She puts Edward above absolutely everything else in this world.)

What I’m getting at here, is that Esme was handed perfection on a silver platter. All the things she’d lost, all the things she’d lacked, things that had been taken from her in the cruelest manner possible, were now given to her, in perfect condition at that. Esme will never have to worry about things like money, sickness, aging, or even Edward growing up and leaving the nest. (And even when he does get married and have a baby, he still doesn’t leave the nest!)

Esme was given the ultimate do-over with vampirism, and she spends it being what she never got to be in life. (And I’ll link this post, because Bella’s in the same situation, if less extreme, and they’re both in for a rude awakening. And I don’t think Esme will cope at all.)

To Esme, vampirism is startlingly similar to the afterlife. It’s her tailored paradise, eternal and perfect. There’s the fact that every so often she slips up and eats people, but that only adds to the eeriness of it all.

Esme Cullen is more a ghost story than a vampire to me, haunting whichever house the Cullens inhabit under the guise of being a homebody.

(As for the her supposed sex life with Carlisle - Meyer said they have a spiritual relationship. That’s hilarious, and code for they’re not having sex.)

[mistressemmedi]

Måneskin: "Different from whom?"

Greetings from Miley Cyrus - phenomenal numbers.

The streams of Zitti e Buoni are growing by the second, and ahead of Muse, on the top of the English charts, twelfth in the Spotify Global Chart. We almost tripled followers after Rotterdam (from 1.4 to 3.3 million, ed). Contagious and universal madness: T-shirts and merchandise sold out in 10 minutes. Like records, tickets for a tour that adds dates and expands on maps. They are even looking for us in festivals where the Rolling Stones have played. - Thomas

After the whole cocaine scandal that was started against us from France, which was later denied by my drug test, in Spain there people have been making murals with my face saying "No drugs". Some tweets made us laugh: «Congratulations, Italy! I have never been so sure that four people have fucked each other ". Miley Cyrus started following us. "You are great". “You are more” . - Damiano

From rags to riches - what a story

It was only 2016, and we were playing in restaurants, on the streets, in via del Corso (famous street in Rome). Damiano without a microphone, Thomas's guitar with broken strings, Ethan drummed on a cajón. At the occupations of the high schools in Rome (Kennedy, Virgilio, Mamiani) we had our first gigs and half an hour of fame, between those who criticized us and those who said "these guys are so cool". One of the rare times in which they offered to pay us to play - 50 euros each - we offered that money to those after us, in exchange for the chance to play during their time slow, as we knew there would have been a bigger crowd. We already understood then how it worked. That visibility was worth more than the money. We still think so ». - Victoria

The intimacy of rock - Choice of a genre

Music allows is this miracle which allows one to talk about very personal and private topics, even difficult and delicate ones. They are and remain deeply yours, but at the same time they become a confession that reaches a wider audience, and in this passage which is like a delivery, they also find their place in you, their elaboration. They are overcome, they are accepted. One moment it feels aggressive, one moment later a (soft) ballad. It's very cathartic. - Damiano

Against panic - The stage as therapy

I have suffered a lot from anxiety and panic attacks, it is a problem that I have worked on thanks to a course of psychotherapy, to my friends and family. Playing has helped me not to let myself be paralyzed by my fears, not to be limited in my private and professional life. I have learned to accept, to live with this side of me. I don't hide it. I no longer feel ashamed. - Victoria

This belief that only crazy people go to the psychologist is widespread ignorance. Nobody is born learned. And it is often difficult to understand why we are here, let alone the derivation and direction of our desires. It is a long and legitimate journey towards one's clarity. - Damiano

Essere fuori di testa – Ma diversi da loro (Be out of your mind - But different from them)

Already feeling a strong passion for something that is not a 'regular' profession but an artistic language, it puts you on a level where you're an anomaly, and while you're neither superior nor inferior to others, it places you in the condition of what breaks the mold but you're also being at a loss, leaving it to you to be bold and to take risks, hoping that they will pay off and land you somewhere. "What good is it if you don't stand out on your own?". You want to give it an aesthetic to your artistic dream, but to others it boils down to " You dress differently! You must be gay! ”, I'm 22 now and it makes me laugh, but at 17 it had an effect on me too. - Damiano

The beauty of being unique - Of believing in that and defending it

After all, we are all different not because we want to be alternative but because really no one is the same. Justice is being judged on what you do and not what you are. Justice is equality, respect, beauty. - Ethan

Fluid sexuality - Pride is freedom

We appreciate heels on men, we kiss each other, we have an open, extended mind, and we are proud of it. The horizons become vast, beyond the oppression of conservative families. With information on the web, knowledge is enriched and with it the possibility that minorities will be fewer and fewer, because majorities will be fewer and fewer. This will lower the volume to insults and bullying. If social networks can reach a village of 50 souls to reveal to someone, who is afraid of the darkness, that someone has felt that same fear.. There is no longer the need to give it a name, to define that "something" to fear, to brand it with labels that only limit you. Definitions have always had this effect on me. Gender should not even be considered in a person's judgment. Let alone orientation ". - Victoria

Sexism - A culture to be dismantled

Emma (Italian singer) dropped the bomb:" When I went to Eurovision, they insulted me over a pair of shorts. Damiano - half naked and in heels - was never criticized ". The judgment against women is constant, ferocious, and demeaning (if I have a lot of sex I'm cool but Vic a whore, where I show myself strong I'm a leader she is domineering and pain in the ass, who is successful because only because of her looks [and not the hard work she puts in]). As a male I am privileged, the harassment I suffer is not comparable to that experienced by a woman, the comments on my aesthetics are focused only on my aesthetics and do not insinuate anything about my professionalism and my competence, while women are victims of this kind of thinking in a systemic way. But I did find myself in a situation, out of nowhere, with someone who, pulling close to her for a selfie, started licking my face ... "What do you want, did you ask me?" Consent exists, and it is a must ». - Damiano

To grow as a person - The only rule to follow

For me, to conform is the total opposite of educating oneself, and the asphyxiation of one's expression (of freedom). Fortunately, I did not suffer heavy bullying, to the point where I felt I needed to change to adapt to how others saw me. But the matrix of who I am and the aggression that marks me is the same. If I'm a kid who dances and loves dolls, then allow me the freedom to do so. I used to be a kid who wanted long hair and played with Barbies. My friends, as a teenager, looked my long hair and teased me: "You have to find yourself a girl with a short hair to make up for it". My grandparents took the dolls away from me and said: “Stop it, they're not for you” ». - Ethan

“I was six and I already could not tolerate the distinctions between masculine and feminine. I've always had strong ideas about how I wanted to be. I refused things typically defined as feminine as a child, and they made fun of me for skating, for playing soccer, for not wearing skirts, for giving myself the chance to be as I wanted to be. I suffered a little, as I was bullied, but I had courage to stay true to myself, and today thanks to that courage I know that I could have been much more hurt, or I would have risked leaving the most important decision to others: the one about being just me". - Victoria

Love - music and girlfriends

I've been married to music for the past 20 years. I cannot wait to celebrate our golden wedding anniversary. - Ethan

Everyone goes through their own experiences, sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad, but it's never other people's business." - Thomas

When, for the first time, I developed feelings and attraction for a girl it was a bit disorienting because I had never had the courage to go beyond the limitations I had imposed on myself. For society, being heterosexual is the norm and therefore often one automatically pegs himself in that way, giving up the freedom to experience many different shades and facets of love. Once I got over the initial insecurity of having to question one's own certainties, I lived my sexuality in a very natural and free way, as it should be for everyone. - Victoria

I had paparazzi under my house morning and night. So, after four years of relationship, I finally revealed her name. I still have the paparazzi under my house morning and night, but at least I don't have to hide anything anymore. - Damiano

The value of the group - Protecting each other

But the real relationship, the real family, is between us. Our band. We believed in it from the first day, even before calling ourselves Måneskin (moonlight in Danish), even before Ethan drew a giant moon, on the poster for our first concert. We share everything, even the pain of the tragedy of Seid Visin, who committed suicide at 20 because he was a victim of racism. Being a group is what we should all do together: stay united and not retreat in the slightest in the face of abuses generated by a distorted vision of someone "being different|. - Thomas

Non ho l’età – like Gigliola (It references Gigliola Cinquetti who won both Sanremo and Eurovision with her song "Non ho l’età" which translates to Not old enough)

Before us, the only one to win Sanremo and Eurovision together was Gigliola Cinquetti (in 1964). Is there is something for which I feel I am not yet old enough for? No, honestly no. Maybe for kids. I'll be honest, I'm not enough to be a dad. - Damiano

Reached the sky - What fears still remain

We are more than in the dream, we have conquered the dream. To fly high this high, there is the risk is to fall and get hurt, but we will try not to end up like Icarus, who burns his wings with the sun. Everything is in our hands. And this - somewhat presumptuously - reassures us rather than frighten us ". - Damiano

(ORIGINAL INTERVIEW IN ITALIAN)

[Please note that I have changed some words or structure sentence, trying to make it so that the interview made more sense lol - I skipped the first two paragraphs, which was basically the interviewer gushing over how pretty the band is lmao (relatable).

Any mistakes in the translation are sorely mine, nothing was proofread, so apologies in advance]

[ijustwant2write]

Always Mine-John Shelby x Reader

(GIF credit to @tommyshhelby​)

Requested by anonymous: ‘Can you please do a imagine where y/n and John were childhood sweethearts (no Martha) and she has known the peaky blinders her whole life and they love her too but then John has to marry esme and even though tommy does feel bad he does it anyway.Y/n works in the betting house so they see eachother every day she acts like it doesn’t bother her but is obviously a bit distant with John who is still inlove with her but she is respectful of the marriage so when Michael comes in he has a crush on y/n and kinda flirts with her and John gets jealous not sure if it’s a John or Micheal imagine your choice’

Characters: John Shelby x Reader, Thomas Shelby x Reader (platonic), Michael Gray x Reader (platonic), Polly Gray x Reader (platonic)

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name  (Y/L/N)=Your last name

Warnings: Heartbreak, swearing, mentions/intentions of sex, arguing, violence, slight fluff

                                          *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Heartbreak, many people went through it, many people wanted to avoid it. Although your heart wasn’t physically damaged, it felt like it was. Humans often forget how strong their emotions are. Emotions are part of our survival, they determine how we live, it controls our day, what decisions we make. Unfortunately to live, we had to experience sadness. You could turn it around and say that the bad times made the good times stronger, more enjoyable. But it’s hard to think positively when you’re stuck in a terrible situation. 

“He....He’s getting married?” I whispered out, clutching onto my dressing gown as the cold air blew into the house.

Tommy was stood outside, I had invited him inside, but I was glad I hadn’t now.“Today/ I’m sorry (Y/N), it has to be done.”

“Why? Why wouldn’t he tell me?”

“John doesn’t know. And you can’t tell him.”

“Why are you telling me this? I could easily run to him now and tell him.”

“If you do that, you’ll put us all in danger.”

I was growing more angry by the second.“Aren’t you always in danger?”

“This is different. It will benefit the whole family, the Peaky Blinders. He has to do this (Y/N).”

I shook my head at him, crossing my arms over my chest. What with it being so early in the morning, no one else was out in the street, it was slightly dark, with a low fog roaming the streets.“You know I love him. You know how we feel about each other. I’m just confused. Why would you tell me this before they get married? I could go tell him, we could run away together like we said we would since we were fifteen.”

“Because I love you (Y/N). You’re basically family. It felt wrong not to. But I can’t lose you at work either. You need to stay.”

I scoffed.“I can’t believe this! You really think I’m going to stay and see the man I love everyday with a wedding ring on his finger? I can write up my resignation now if you want-”

“(Y/N)-”

“Honestly Tommy, this is taking the piss. You get away with a lot of shit, but this is just fantastic-”

“(Y/N)!”

“Wait here, I’ll get a pen and some paper-”

“(Y/N) would you just listen for a second!?” he yelled, silencing me.“You would be as equally angry with me if I told you after. Just be happy that I mentioned it at all.”

That had been the longest day of my life. Knowing that my worst fear had come true, the man I loved was marrying someone else, made time move at an incredibly slow pace. Part of me pondered crashing the wedding, if I knew where it was or who he was marrying, but I knew that Tommy was partly right. He had a huge responsibility to keep control of his power, but the way he manipulated his family infuriated me. 

“John, are you sure you want to marry me?” I said to him as we laid down in a field.

“You’re really asking that after what we just did?” he asked, doing up his trousers.

���Well, Susanne and Jack do the same as us, and he hasn’t asked her.” my (not so) innocent seventeen year old self pointed out.

“Believe me, I would not be suggesting that sort of thing if I didn’t mean it.”

“So you don’t ask every girl you fuck to marry you?” I teased.

He leaned over me.“I haven’t slept with that many.”

I rolled my eyes.“I don’t care how many girls you fucked before me. As long as I’m the one who gets this sort of treatment for the rest of your life, I’m happy.”

He smirked, kissing me.“You’ve been the best out of all of them.”

“Because I do anything you want.”

He leaned down to my ear, whispering,“Because you feel fucking amazing.”

I blushed, wishing I was able to tease him more.“I’m serious John, that’s a serious commitment.”

Although we were being flirty, I knew when he was being truthful.“(Y/N), I don’t want anything else. I want you beside me. My family loves you, you’re already a Shelby in their eyes, and mine. I know they say we’re young, but these feelings I have for you re strong. I wake up thinking about you, I see other women and think, my (Y/N) is so much prettier than you. And yes, thinking about you writhing and moaning beneath me is pleasurable,” I playfully punched his shoulder, which he laughed at,“but imagining you at home with the kids, waiting for me to come back and embracing me as soon as I step foot in our house, that’s all I could ever ask for in life.”

I sobbed as I thought about that memory. We were so happy back then. We were carefree, easily daydreaming about what could have been. Then harsh reality hit us in the face. He was being forced into an arrangement with some wild gypsy girl. We were supposed to be married, I was the one whose last name should have been Shelby. 

I didn’t want to hear about the wedding day. I knew that Pol, Ada or any other woman in that betting shop wouldn’t mention it in front of me.Though how was I ever to stop thinking about how the man I loved was married to someone else when I worked with him? And his new wife? Esme also had no say in this, she had been unruly and apparently the only way to sort that was to marry her off. But why did she have to work here too? She hated it here, she could never sit still. It was in her nature to be outside all the time, to run free and wildly along with the horses. Not cramped up in a betting shop counting money, surrounded by the lowest of men. Having to sit across from her as I worked was torture, seeing the wedding band made my stomach turn.

"(Y/N)?" John called me, standing in the doorway of his office.

I caught Esme glancing towards me, though I didn't care. It wasn't as if anything was about to happen, John hadn't even spoken to me since they married, not properly anyway. I had been civil towards his wife, but only speaking to her when I absolutely had to. Quietly sighing, I closed the book I had been writing in, picking up a smaller notebook and pen before entering his office. Some workers were peeking at us, they knew the drama, and it didn't help that his office was basically made of windows, meaning everyone could see us.

"You can sit down, you know you can." John gestured to the chair across from his desk, though he didn't sit.

I said nothing back.He groaned.

"Come on (Y/N), you know I hated when you gave me the silent treatment."

"Is there something you needed from me Mr Shelby?"

"You know, that only sounded nice coming from you when we were in a different environment." he smirked, thinking I would break. He was absolutely wrong.

"I have a lot of work to be getting on with-"

"I don't love her."

My eyes widened, and I kept my voice low."For fucks sake John, we shouldn't be talking about this here."

"You know I don't!" he stood in front of me, but I quickly backed away, not wanting to draw attention to ourselves."She's some random gypsy Tommy picked up on the side of the road. Esme isn't you."

"And yet you're stuck with her. So let bygones be bygones. Did you actually need me?"

"I always need you, and I will always want you."

"Right, thank you for wasting my time sir."

I promptly left, feeling my throat get tight as I pushed back my tears. If I spoke another word, my voice would crack, giving away how I truly felt. Instead of returning to where I was originally sat, I headed to the kitchen, not wanting to see Esme. It was obvious her gaze was on me as I brushed past, though I took no notice. Once there, I made myself busy filling the kettle with water and beginning to make tea, just to distract myself. As it boiled, I gripped onto the edge of the counter, painfully holding back my sobs. I couldn’t do this for the rest of my life, it was emotionally exhausting, it was torturous.

“You can’t keep up this act forever.” Polly appeared.

I didn’t bother facing her.“I know. I already told Tom I would hand him my resignation letter, he refused.”

“No, we can’t lose you, even if we had enough staff. I want you to know that I had nothing to do with that. You know what Tommy is like with his ‘big ideas’.”

I finally looked at her.“My worst fear came true. He’s with someone else. He’s married, but not to me. It’s been in our heads for so long, it was all too good to be true.”

Before Polly could speak, I saw her glance behind me. Turning around, I saw Esme standing in the doorway, her usual scowl on her face as she grabbed a mug from a cupboard.

“I’m assuming you brewed a full pot?” she asked.

“Yes.” I replied. 

She put her mug beside mine, making sure it thudded against the counter. When she left, I ran my hands down my face, seriously considering walking out. Polly decided to not add anything. We would just go in circles, trying to cheer me up, reassure me, convince me to stay etc.

Managing to get through the rest of the day, I sighed in relief and tiredness as everyone started to pack their things. Putting on my coat, I smiled at one my colleagues who was approaching me.

“John has asked for you.” they warily said.

I rolled my eyes.“Did he say what he wants?”

He shook his head.“Sorry, wants you in there soon as.”

I thanked him as he left, along with everyone else. Esme held back, obviously glaring at me. She disappeared into John’s office for less than a minute before walking out again, leaving without her husband. I watched the door shut, leaving just John and I. My stomach twisted, heart beating incredibly loudly in my ears as I took my first few steps to his office. I stood in the doorway, hating that he was already looking at me, I was incredibly nervous. 

He stood from his chair.“(Y/N)-” 

“Please tell me this is about work.”

“I need to speak to you.”

“John, I can’t do this. We’re finished now-”

I started to walk away, not surprised when he followed, but shocked when he grabbed me, turning me around to face him.

“I know you feel the same as me. I can’t fucking stand it! I don’t want to be married to her. I don’t want to fuck her in our bed. I’ve only ever imagined coming home to see you there, not her!”

“Well that won’t happen now, will it?!” I snapped back, trying to make him let go of my arms.

As I struggled, John was able to keep a grasp on me.“It can! We’ll figure out a way! But I need to kiss you. I need to be able to hold you in my arms, to really feel you. I want to keep planning our future together.”

“Tommy has made his decision, and with this family, anything he says goes! You really think we could change any of this? Even if we did, imagine the trouble you would all be in.”

“I don’t care. I would take ten bullets to the chest if it meant being with you.”

“You can’t be saying things like that.”

His eyes were crazy, staring into my soul, fingers pressing into my skin. I felt him pull me closer, it was ever so slow, and I could have stopped it. But I didn’t. We cautiously leaned in for a kiss, making memories and feelings flood back. His hands relaxed, moving up to cup my face. The passion didn’t last long, because before I knew it, I was being pushed back against a desk, clumsily lying on my back. John wasted no time to touch my breasts, continuing to kiss me as it slid down my body, disappearing up my skirt. Although it was extremely tempting to carry on, the weighing guilt made me stop him.

“John.” I breathed out, giving him the wrong idea as he kept going, sucking on my neck. I pushed against him.“John, stop.”

He pulled away.“What? What’s wrong?” he went straight back down to my neck, trying to unbutton my blouse.

“Stop!” I said a little louder, managing to sit up and push him away.

“(Y/N), I know it’s been a while but-”

“It’s not that, you idiot! You’re married!”

“To a woman I don’t love!” 

I let out a frustrated scream, buttoning up my blouse again as I stood.“I’m not going to be that woman sleeping with married men, I’m not a whore!”

“Why are you denying your feelings? We were supposed to get married.”

“We were kids back then.”

He pointed an accusing finger at me.“I said that to you every year, we were always waiting for the right time!”

“Life doesn’t always work out John!” I yelled.“This is just as agonising to me as it is to you! But if we ruin this, the Lee’s are going to come for you all, and there’s already enough on your plates to deal with them.”

“I don’t give a fuck about them-”

“But I give a fuck about you living!” I snatched up my coat and handbag, pushing past him towards the door. With my hand on the handle, I calmed down before speaking again.“Obviously we weren’t meant to be. Though at least we didn’t take our time together for granted. Don’t try any of that again John, I mean it.”

For the next week, I didn’t utter a word to John, I didn’t even glance in his direction. I considered sending in my resignation. But after thinking about it, I knew I couldn’t bring myself to do it. These people were my family, I grew up  in this business. If I left, I had a slim chance of finding a normal job, because everyone knew who I was associated with. Why would anyone risk taking on someone who was involved with the Peaky Blinders? I was paid more than I should have been for my position, and they trusted me with anything; it would be stupid of me to throw that away and lose everything I worked so hard for. 

Surprisingly, Esme hadn’t piped up towards me in that time. I thought she might say something, even if she wasn’t triggered, due to her fiery personality. However, John had been relentless with his attempts to make me speak to him, even trying to trap me in the vault with him. I couldn’t break, I couldn’t let him get to me again. As much as my heart ached for him, as much as I wanted him to grab my face and kiss me again, I would never break a marriage. The guilt that would live with me fr the rest of my life was too much to bear. 

At the beginning of another day, I had just breezed into the shop when Lizzie approached me.“(Y/N), Tommy wants to see you.”

I sighed.“Did he say why?”

She shook her head.“You know what he’s like. But he’s asking for you now.”

I didn’t bother taking off my coat or setting my bag down, following Lizzie to his office. She knocked before opening the door, letting me walk in before closing it behind me, and I was left with Tommy, who was hunched over his desk as he looked through papers; however, there was also another man, a younger man.

“Come in (Y/N), let me introduce you to someone.” Tommy stood, setting the papers aside.

My steps were slower than they usually would be as I analysed the stranger. He looked younger than me, but not by that many years. His hat was in his hands, and although he wore a suit, it wasn’t like the ones the Shelby boys wore. His hair was slightly curly, not slicked back or short like most men around Small Heath, and he seemed shy, maybe more reclusive.

“I’m Michael.” he offered his hand out which I shook.

“I’m (Y/N).” I politely smiled.

“(Y/N) is basically family and has worked with us from the beginning.” Tommy explained.“This boy here, (Y/N), is Polly’s son.”

My eyes widened at Tommy as I let go of Michael’s hand.“Wait, you mean...the children she was always talking about...?”

“I’ve come back to find out about my real family. And to start working here too.” Michael added.

“So I need you to keep a close eye on him, help him with whatever he needs. (Y/N) knows the ins and outs of this place, she’ll teach you everything you need to know.”

For the rest of the day, Michael shadowed one of the workers that dealt with the winnings, counting money and figuring out how to run the shop floor. I would occasionally pop up when I thought he needed someone kinder and quiet to help, or just to check on him. He was sweet, but that wouldn’t help him in this environment. Luckily, Michael made it hard for John to bother me, he didn’t have the usual opportunities to bombard me with questions about why I didn’t want to fight for what we had. My shift finished quickly, it seemed like I had only been there an hour and we were already leaving.

“Come on Michael, let me take you for a drink. You deserve it after today.” I offered as we walked out of the shop.

He was hesitant before smiling.“Alright then. Where should we go?”

“We’ll go to the Garrison, your cousins are basically royalty there, meaning we are too. And don’t worry about your mum, she would rather you be with me than with the boys.”

Happily greeting Harry as we walked into the pub, he nudged the other bartender to get my usual drink. After asking Michael what he wanted, I called it out to Harry before disappearing into the private room.

“We’re allowed in here?” Michael asked.

“Yeah, don’t worry. Like Tommy said, I’m family.” the window opened, a bartender passing us our drinks.“So, how did you end up in a place like this?”

We indulged in a conversation about Michael’s life growing up. It wasn’t a good upbringing, he had been through a lot of hardships as a child, and now being thrown into a completely different life was only adding to the confusion he had growing up, but he wanted to be independent. Get away from the boring country and work in an interesting job. 

Michael glanced down at his drink, seeming hesitant to speak.“I hope you don’t mind me asking, but is there something between you and John? I thought he was married to Esme.” 

I scoffed.“He is. Seems to keep forgetting that.”

“Sorry, I shouldn't have asked-”

“It’s fine. You’re family, you should know what’s going on. We...wow, I’ve never actually spoken about this. John and I developed feelings for each other as we grew up, we became a couple. We always said we would get married, anyone could see we were deeply in love. However, Tommy arranged a marriage between John and Esme, it was to form a truce between the Shelby’s and the Lee family, Esme’s family.”

“That’s horrible. Tommy still did that even though he knew you two were together?”

“Yep.” I downed the rest of my drink.“Welcome to the family business.”

“I understand the need for a truce but...”

“I know what you’re thinking. Although it was heartbreaking, I know nothing can be done about it. And I am not a home wrecker!”

He was shocked by my snappy tone.“I-I didn’t say you were.”

“I know, force of habit.”

The door opened, the Shelby brothers walking in, and only three of them smiled at us, it was obvious who didn’t. They greeted us as they sat, the window opening instantly with their drinks on the tray. Michael and I were still tense from our talk, though tried not to show it as Arthur began rambling on about something stupid Finn had done that day. I tried my hardest to listen, though it was hard to when I could feel John’s eyes on me, and he was angry. Everyone else could tell as well, but they didn’t want to deal with John’s attitude right now. After Arthur finished his story, I excused myself to the ladies room, needing to relax. Unfortunately, I couldn’t even go to the loo without any disruption.

“Why the fuck are you here with him?” John demanded to know as he followed me in. 

“John! You can’t be in here!” I snapped.

“There’s no other women here yet! Answer me.”

“He’s a new colleague, someone Tommy told me to look after today. Not to mention he’s your cousin. I was being nice to him.”

“You say you still love me yet here you are with another man.” the rage in his eyes was growing more intense by the second.

“Oh for fucks sake John.” I rolled my eyes.“Why on Earth why I be so stupid to move on with another Shelby?”

“The fuck are you saying?”

“I’ve been battling with myself whether to leave this job because of you! It was terrible enough to be in the same room as you and your wife, but trying to avoid you all day is exhausting. You have to stop trying to make us work.”

His breathing was getting faster, and he hastily grabbed my hands.“But why can’t we just hide it? Maybe after a while I’ll be able to divorce her.”

“I can’t sit around and wait for you! I’ll always love you John, but you can’t expect me to not go on living my life whilst I wait for something that may never happen. And you’re telling me that in that time, you won’t have sex with her, you won’t give her the children she wants? Because I’m not fucking you behind her back.”

He groaned, pulling away from me and turning around, suddenly hitting a stall door, causing me to flinch at the movement and sound. Instinctively, I started backing away, scared that he might flip and accidentally hurt me in his rage.

“It’s not fucking fair!” he yelled.

“John, calm down!” I said, trying not to shout back, needing him to be calm.

“Why was I the one that had to get married?! Why wasn’t it Arthur or even Finn? They know we’re in love! I wanted you to be my fucking wife! And now you’re not even fighting for us!”

I scowled at him, screaming just as loud at him now.“How dare you?! John, there is nothing to fight for anymore! Yes, we still love each other, and I would give anything to be with you again! I would kill for you, you know that. But we need to move on from this. I’m staying at work for now, just until I’ve got enough to move somewhere else, and then I’m gone. I’m not staying where I got my heart broken.”

“You can’t leave.”

“I will. This feels like someone is punishing me for something terrible that I’ve done, but for the life of me I can not think what that could be. I’m done with this John. I don’t want to wake up every morning dreading to go to the shop, being distracted from my work because I’m dreading that you’ll corner me and we’ll get caught doing something we shouldn’t be. I feel like I’ve aged since the day you married, just from the stress.”

“(Y/N), please, just give it more time, we can work something out-”

“No! John just shut the fuck up and listen to what I’m saying! Leave me alone, leave what we had in the past. You’re married now, and I don’t want to have an affair, not just because of the Lee’s but because of the moral of it all. I...I just need to go home.”

“You’re not leaving-”

He grabbed my arm forcefully, and in defence I slapped him around the face. He recoiled his hand as he went into shock, giving me a chance to escape. However, he kept calling my name as I rushed off, seeing the boys standing at the bar, obviously having heard everything. I pushed past them, bursting into the private room to grab my things before leaving the pub. The others were also telling me to come back, wondering what was wrong.

“Don’t follow me! Leave me alone!” I screeched before turning away from them. 

I felt light headed as I stormed home. There was so much to take in, too much had been said in such a short amount of time. Though I knew I had spoken my truth, even if it was the hardest thing I had ever admitted. John and I couldn’t be. Perhaps it was never meant to happen, and we needed to grow up, move on from our childhood dreams of us being together. I couldn’t dwell on it, I was right when I said I couldn’t put my life on pause to wait for him, which I knew would never happen. Until I knew what I could do to move on and away from everyone, I hoped that our argument had sent a message to John, and I wouldn’t have to suffer as much as I had been. Not for much longer, I am going to be happy.

[wherestoriescomefrom]

I read a lot of really good books from India (and South Asia, generally) in the last year or so, and since they won't get as much attention outside of India, I figured I'd make a list:

[This is an eclectic list which mainly caters to my taste. If you want specific readers on anything particular to Indian political problems, please send me an ask and I'll direct you to readers to the best of my abilities. Please don't take this list as a complete representation of South Asian writing.]

1. Prem Kabootar by Manav Kaul. These are a bunch of short stories written in Hindi - I think there's a translation available, called A Night in the Hills. I was originally drawn to these because I watched a really excellent production at the Shri Ram Centre (this is pre-covid times) of one of the stories, and I decided more recently to read the rest.

2. Ishq Mein Sheher Hona by Ravish Kumar. This is in the same vein as the first one, and again, there's a translation available called The City Happens in Love. I believe it's translated by Akhil Katyal, so I trust it's a good one. This is more of a series of vignettes of people who fall in love in Delhi, and given how much I love Delhi, this one hit me very strongly.

3. When the River Sleeps by Easterine Kire. This book would be a little hard to get into if you're not an Indian reader. The idiom of the writing is different, the rhythm is different - and it's very clear that Kire isn't even catering to Indian mainlanders, let alone people out of India. It's set in Nagaland, a questing story about a man who has to wrench something from the heart of the river. It's laden with magic and history and I really think the author was trying to make you see how wonderful living there is?

4. Bhaunri by Anukriti Upadhyay. I cannot overstate how wonderful this book is. It's set in Rajasthan, deep in the desert, and it's got this dark... edge to it. The heroine marries this man and loves him with all her heart and I cannot actually talk about how the book moves, because it is A Lot.

5. Ghachar Ghochar by Vivek Shanbagh. I know this book misses on some crucial aspects of poverty, such as caste - but it's got such a fascinating picture of family resentments and angers of middle class India. Cannot recommend this enough.

6. Black Hill by Mamang Dai. Okay so this is one of those books in which white men arrive on a land and instinctively your heart sinks because you already know where this story is going. But!! Mamang Dai is really looking at the colonisation that took place in the North East, and even more specifically she's looking at Arunachal. There's a lot less looks into that as compared to the extensive detailing of colonisation in the mainland. It's a lovely book laden with history and that instantaneous foreboding you get when you watch a white man arrive.

7. Those Pricey Thakur Girls and The House That BJ Built by Anuja Chauhan. Okay those were some very intense recommendations, but I promise these two are just cute romances. Both have noncommittal men being completely blown away by firecracker women. Plus it's a multigenerational book series, I love it. I know Chauhan has problems with caste in how much she centres her Rajput pride, but I really love these books.

8. In Now and Then by Revathi Suresh. I was conflicted about adding this, because it is very.................. intense. It's got all this messiness of growing up, with a heroine that's not very likeable (also someone who is definitely uppercaste). I should add that this is the second of a series - Jobless, Clueless, Reckless came first. That one feels like the better book, but this transition is really interesting as well. Oh - trigger warning for suicide. I know that spoils some things, and it's not in the way you expect, but it came out of nowhere for me, so...

9. Power and Print by Anindita Ghosh. This is probably the only nonfiction recommendation in this list, but it's a pretty good book! It's dated and limited to Bengal, but there's very few print histories in India so I enjoyed it.

10. There's Gunpowder in the Air by Manoranjan Byapari. This is a translated text again, the original is in Bengali. It's a jailbreak story that deals with naxalite activists, and I can't emphasise how well written it is. Byapari is also a dalit representative in the current TMC government, which makes his politics even more interesting. I really enjoyed this book, I can't get enough of it.

I read a bunch of bad novels as well, but like I'm going to tell you guys about those. Suffice to say that you should stay away from Once Upon a Curfew by Srishti Chaudhury, and I didn't enjoy Shabnam Minwalla.

[hermannsthumb]

As per our convo, Newt getting set up with Hermann via Hermann’s father’s binder full of pre-approved suitors for his son...

(from @k-sci-janitor 👀) easily one of our funniest concepts yet. I was going to end on newt coming over for dinner scenario but I like the ominous open ending. I'm not actually sure when kaiju attacks fall in the PR timeline so excuse my handwaveyness, LOL

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hermann’s relationship with his father is what one would call strenuous at best, but—Hermann must admit, to the man’s credit, and in spite of his many flaws—he took the news of Hermann’s sexual orientation as unflinchingly as if Hermann had told him the day’s weather. It was a bit annoying, in fact. Hermann had agonized over the proper way to breach the subject for months, certain it spoke to some sort of personal ruin (whether ostracization from the Gottliebs or being forbade following through on any attraction he may feel whilst still living under the family roof, he wasn't sure), before finally simply announcing it one day at the breakfast table on a whim.

It had been a long-standing tradition that Hermann’s parents compile a binder—effectively of dossiers—on all the most eligible bachelors (for their daughter) and bachelorettes (for their sons) to aid in the choice of the latest Gottlieb mate. It was easiest this way, or so Hermann and his siblings were told. Parental approval was already secured. The histories of each were already secured, which bypassed any nasty shocks that might emerge in the courtship stage. Most of them were children of his father's colleagues or bright minds in their own rights: surgeons, and dentists, and mathematicians. Poets were strictly forbidden.

The occasion of Hermann’s breakfast table announcement had also been the day Hermann’s father presented him with his very first binder of prospective mates—a few days after his eighteenth birthday, and shortly before he was to go off to begin work on his PhD. His father had slid him a hand-written binder of names, no more than a dozen, and all with accompanying photographs. “All are accomplished young women,” he assured Hermann. “We can arrange any meetings of your choice over your winter holidays.”

Hermann glared down at the row of frozen smiles. He stabbed his fork into his cooked tomato wedge. “I don’t want to marry any of these women,” he said, and turned his glare on his father. He still had a rebellious streak in him at that point, something nurtured by a charismatic young man he used to trail after in boarding school, who pierced Hermann’s ear with a sewing needle in the boys’ toilets and listened to songs about setting things on fire. In late this streak had manifested itself in Hermann in nicking packets of cigarettes from his father’s study, one of which was in his pocket now. The weight of it made Hermann feel bolder. “I don’t want to marry any woman,” he continued. “I like men.”

The binder was drawn away in silence, and Hermann was free to eat his toast and tomatoes. The next morning a binder of young men was in its place.

(In a way the acceptance infuriated Hermann. It meant he could not blame his father’s obvious dislike for him on an unfounded, homophobic prejudice; rather, it was a result of Hermann’s own personal failings.)

The binder was placed at Hermann’s breakfast plate every day until he left for his studies. It was placed at his plate when he returned from them five years later. Not even the emergence of the kaiju from the bottom of the ocean shortly after Hermann turned twenty-four dampened his father’s hopes, nor turning all their scientific efforts towards the new jaeger program: some names were removed from the binder (the reasoning Hermann shudders to think at), more still were added, though Hermann is expected only to consider it once a week now on account of his busy schedule. This was one of such days.

“Your brother is very happy with his wife,” Hermann’s father reminds him. “She was one of my first suggestions for him, in fact.”

Hermann is not fond of his sister-in-law. Too rude—too cold. Though perhaps that makes her perfect for Hermann’s brother. “Haven’t we got bigger things to worry about these days than whether or not I’m going to marry?” Hermann says. He adds milk to his tea. “I’m sure they’re all, er, marvelous selections, only—”

“Your sister, too, with her husband,” father says.

Hermann sighs. He hasn’t got much of the rebellious streak he used to in him anymore—too stressed. Not fancying a fight before they’ve even begun today’s coding work, he picks up the binder and begins flipping through it. Sons of engineers working on the jaeger program with them, prominent young chemists, many of whom Hermann has been presented with since he was eighteen. Plenty of them are even handsome. Half of Hermann wonders if he should just pick the least-unappealing one of the bunch and be done with it already. He turns the page over and freezes. “Oh,” he says. “This one is—new.”

“Hm?” father says.

Hermann holds up the binder, tapping at a new entry. “Newton Geiszler.”

“Dr. Geiszler,” father says, nodding. “A child prodigy from Berlin—he’s made tremendous strides in kaiju science in such little time. And,” he adds, “three PhDs. Two of them before he even turned twenty.” The unspoken implication was that Dr. Geiszler far surpassed Hermann in intelligence and Hermann should feel ashamed for not skipping as many grades as Dr. Geiszler.

Hermann feels he ought to resent Dr. Geiszler for it, but he's finding it difficult to summon up any animosity towards him. It's likely because Hermann finds Dr. Geiszler to be strikingly handsome in his photograph: cheeks which haven’t quite lost their baby fat (giving him the appearance of being a scruffy hamster), large, thick glasses, tousled hair, an easy grin. Three PhDs, and German at that. And a child prodigy? “I’m surprised you haven’t mentioned him to me before,” Hermann says. He seems precisely the sort father would. Geiszler’s photograph is black-and-white and a bit grainy, but Hermann swears he could make out the lightest bit of freckles across his cheeks.

“I’d not heard of him until he published an article last week on kaiju biology,” father says. “Besides—he’s moved to America.”

Geiszler has three piercings up the side of his left ear. “I am going to write to him,” Hermann declares.

Father nods, and picks up his newspaper, clearly already disinterested. They speak no more of it that day.

It is not hard to find Dr. Geiszler online (his name is not the most common, and his field of study certainly isn’t), nor is it hard to match his photograph to his faculty page on MIT’s website. From there, Hermann retrieves Dr. Geiszler’s email address. He takes the evening to read over Geiszler’s publications spanning back to 2003 before he gathers up the courage to type out an actual email.

Dear Dr. Geiszler,

You do not know me, but I have recently been made acquaintance with your work and find it—Hermann pauses—scintillating. My father and I are—Hermann backspaces this—I am currently working on the development of the jaeger program…

There’s a response waiting for him the next morning. It’s as enthusiastic as it is brief. Dr. Gottlieb- That’s so awesome!! Believe it or not I’ve been following your work too. I have a million questions for you about the jaegers. If it’s classified info I promise I won’t tell. -Newt

It makes Hermann smile like nothing ever has before.

Hermann’s correspondence with Dr. Geiszler does not transgress beyond the professional until the following January. By that time, Hermann and his father have successfully completed the coding for their first jaeger prototype, and Hermann has been offered his fair share of tenured university positions to pick from as he likes. He finds himself oddly disappointed that none of them are in America with Dr. Geiezler. This, which leads to the realization that he’s grown rather fond of Dr. Geiszler, is perhaps what drives Hermann to uncharacteristic sentimental extremes on January 19th: he orders Dr. Geiszler a birthday present. The first email Dr. Geiszler sends him after that addresses him as Hermann. The first email Hermann sends Dr. Geiszler after that addresses him as Newton. Things move rapidly after that.

“Are you still writing to that young biologist?” Hermann’s father asks him in March. Hermann has spent the last two months devouring every bit of information Newton has seen fit to divulge about his personal life: his dexterity with no less than three different instruments, his favorite loud monster movies, how he’d love to get a kaiju tattooed on him one day. Hermann suspects he might be falling in love with Newton. In hardly five months! These are war times, Hermann supposes, so it would make sense. People are meant to do such extreme things.

“I am,” Hermann says.

“I’ve asked around about him,” Hermann’s father says. His expression is stern—unimpressed. “About his character. I’m not sure it’s wise to continue your correspondence.”

The reasons are this. Dr. Geiszler’s methods are unorthodox. Dr. Geiszler is loud and uncouth, and has little respect for his intellectual superiors. Dr. Geiszler was thrown out of a convention once for storming up on stage and stealing a microphone from an engineer to shout about the destruction coral reefs. Dr. Geiszler was in a distasteful band for several years. Dr. Geiszler was once arrested for egging a politician’s house. Dr. Geiszler has gone on record as describing the kaiju as “kinda cool”. Almost none of this is news to Hermann; in fact, that which is only causes Hermann’s affection for Newton to grow. “I will consider your advice,” Hermann says, knowing he won’t. Besides, it's not as if his father really has Hermann's interests at heart—Hermann knows he merely wishes to preempt any scandal Newton Geiszler could possibly bring upon the Gottlieb name.

In April Newton goes on television and declares that he’s sure the kaiju are extraterrestrial in origin, on account of their great size and his brief examination of a sample from the second kaiju to make landfall. He’s laughed off by his older peers before he can get another word out. The email he writes to Hermann afterwards is furious, capslock-heavy, and expresses that Hermann is the only one who takes him seriously in the whole world. It leaves Hermann certain that he is in love with Newton.

“Dr. Geiszler was interviewed on some American television program,” Hermann’s father says a few days later.

“I know,” Hermann says, proudly. Newton was on television. “I watched it.”

“He made some extraordinary claims,” Hermann’s father says.

But Hermann is thinking only of the outfit Newton wore (skinny jeans and an oversized leather jacket, so out of place compared to the suited other scientists sitting around him), the shade of his eyes (hazel), his short stature (hardly taller than Hermann), and the cadence of his voice (high, but not unappealing). He’d been so confident, and carried himself with a self-assurance that was foreign to Hermann. It was marvelously attractive. “I’m sure they're correct,” Hermann says. "Every single one. Newton is a terribly brilliant scientist." All bold claims are met with derision at first, are they not?

Newton’s theory is proven correct after the next kaiju attack, when experts other than him get their hands on kaiju samples and validate his claims. The general consensus after that is that the kaiju are not of this world. And Newton was the first to propose the theory! Hermann sends Newton an email full of congratulations, and Newton responds with a heart emoticon in his sign-off. Newton isn't just a brilliant scientist. “Newton is a genius,” Hermann tells his father, dreamily.

The binder reappears on Hermann’s work desk a few months later, Newton’s page torn conspicuously from it. Hermann tips the whole thing straight into his trash can. He has more important things to worry about—arranging a meeting with Newton, perhaps. Hermann ought to have him over for dinner.