#but yeah. this has been going through my head since i posted that dave pre canon oneshot

[noahtally-famous]

after publishing “hi, im dave”, the urge to write more stuff involving dave and his family (as well as him and noah interactions bc to me they’re family friends) both pre, post, and during tdpi has grabbed ahold of me

[raysofcrosby]

LITTLE DO YOU KNOW PT. 10

"𝘐'𝘮 𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘤𝘬 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥, 𝘸𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘧 𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘥𝘨𝘦𝘥 𝘢 𝘣𝘶𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘰𝘳 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦." ━  𝐙𝐚𝐲𝐧 𝐟𝐭. 𝐓𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐨𝐫 𝐒𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐭, 𝐈 𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐋𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫

gif credit (x)

series masterlist

requested: yes | no

warnings: just angst tbh

word count: 5,850 [again of un proofread material sorry lmao]

authors note: [quick sidenote: if you want to make this sad af, then listen to heal by tom odell here bc that’s what i did when writing lmao.] omg yay part 10 finally! when this posts i’ll still be at work, but i’m so happy that i was able to get this out to you guys today! this series is coming to an end soon and honestly i’m sad about it bc idk what the hell i’m gonna do once it’s over lmao. for everyone who reblogs, likes and even reads this series– thank you from the bottom of my heart. i enjoy reading everyone’s tags and messages and it makes me happy and want to write even more when i see how much you guys enjoy the series. i hope this part is good enough bc part 11 is coming up and well...we’ll see what happens :)

Two days after the incident in the training room, finals week had wrapped up, Kennedy had already gone home to celebrate an early Christmas with her parents before joining you in Victoria, campus closed down and you had found yourself displaced. Originally, pre-Typocalypse...you were supposed to stay with Jamie and Katie, then all fly back together after the game tonight. But those plans had since changed since Jamie was obviously still not talking to you. Kennedy offered you to come and stay with her, but you were already stealing her for Christmas, you didn't want to intrude on the few days her and her parents got to spend together for the Holidays.  Before you could even think about booking a hotel for the next few days, Big Rig offered you his guest room and the two of you have been temporary roommates ever since.

It was a great set up, honestly. Since you were still obligated to be at team practices, the two of you drove there together and left afterward. He was like the big shield that protected you from Jamie's glares and Tyler's horrible attempts at trying to please Jamie by not looking at you. When they went on their Florida series, Dave offered you a chance to go since you were on break, but you turned it down and made a joke about how if you went to Florida you might not come back. Instead, you relaxed on Big Rig's couch, thought about going to see Tyler's dogs and switched between binging 'You' and 'Fuller House' on Netflix.

But today was the day that you would be handing John the paperwork for your internship that he needed to sign and handover. Just things saying that your timesheet was correct, signing off and typing up a letter about how you did. The practice before they left for Florida, actually the same day he had offered you a spot on the trip, was when you broke the news to him that you wouldn't finish out the season with them. Of course, he probably had some kind of inkling as to the reasons why. You always thought that girls were the worst when it came to gossip, but it turns out grown men are a lot worse. But he was kind and never asked for the specifics and respected your decision not to continue and just told you to give him the paperwork whenever you could and that he'd fill it out for you. He also commented on how good of a job you did and that if you ever changed your mind, they'd welcome you back without a second thought.

And that's what you told Katie when the two of you went out to an early dinner before heading to the arena for the game. But now, as the two of you were in your uber and headed towards the arena, the daunting task of having to actually hand over your paperwork weighed heavy on your heart. Katie had invited you along to dinner and you thought that it was probably her way of reaching out to you since your brother was failing to do so, but you didn't mind. You really liked Katie and she was like the other big sister you never had. To your surprise though, the two of you didn't talk much about what had happened between you, Tyler and Jamie. Instead, she focused on your senior year, where you were applying to jobs and how life in L.A. had been treating her.

But now you were itching to get her opinion on the matter, because if there was anyone besides you who was closer to Jamie in this city and had the insight of his thoughts– it was her. When the two of you stepped out of the Uber and made your way through security to get to the back hallway, you broke the silence on the matter.

"Did you know?" You blurted out as the two of you bypassed security. She turned to you with a generic expression. "Did you know before he...found out?"

"I mean, I kind of had a feeling something was going on," she replied, shrugging her shoulders. "Just even during the few times I was down here and we all went downtown. The two of you had never really been as close or hung out too often before and I just noticed all of the little things that boys are too oblivious to see."

"Yeah, maybe going out together was a bad idea. Maybe this whole damn thing was a bad idea," you sighed, clutching the manilla folder close to you.

"I don't think it was a bad idea, I just think that you and Tyler approached it wrong. You guys should've been a little more upfront and honest with Jamie. He still might have been angry, but it would have been a lot better than the alternative."

You nodded, accepting her cold truth as the two of you made your way through the parking garage and towards the hallway entrance. "Has he reached out to you yet?"

"Jamie or Tyler?"

"Both, I guess."

You shook your head, pushing back the pain that came with the thought of the two guys you cared for most, ignoring you. "Not even an in-person acknowledgment."

"I've been talking to them both, trying to get them to see the sense of it all. I told Jamie he needs to talk to you before this gets any worse...but you know how he is."

"Yeah, I do," you nodded, opening the door and stepping into the hallway. You looked down the right towards the training room and took a deep breath. "Well, I guess this is it."

"I can come with you if you want? Give you a little moral support?"

"Thanks, but I need to do this on my own," you took a deep breath and nodded, giving yourself a little encouragement. "I'll see you at home in a few hours?"

"Longest plane ride of our lives," she joked, hugging you before turning towards the elevator. "Oh, one more thing about you and Tyler!"

"Yeah?" You asked, giving her a hopeful, but sad look.

"It wasn't just the physical things I noticed, like the small touches." She shrugged her shoulders and gave you a small smile. "But it was just how different the two of you seemed. You were a lot happier and open and Tyler...he was a lot calmer and genuinely happy. I think the two of you are very good together."

You didn't know what to say, but instead gave her a thankful smile and watched her get into the elevator to head up to the upper level. It hurt your heart, to think about how your relationship had changed the two of you for the better and yet here you guys were– avoiding each other at all costs. You brushed those thoughts aside and walked down the hallway. You needed to give Dave your paperwork, but there was something else you needed to do first.

You knocked on to the locker room door, hearing a voice on the other side. You covered your eyes with one hand and pushed the door open, stepping into the room. "Is everyone in here decent?"

"It's just me and Dobby, Y/N," Klinger said, laughing. "So yes, open your eyes."

You uncovered your eyes to see the two men sitting in their respectful stalls. "Where's everyone else?"

"Training room, on the bench or playing footy," Dobby said, standing up. "You okay?"

You nodded, walking over towards Big Rig's stall and holding up your purse. "Big Rig just asked me to bring something for him, he forgot it at the apartment."

They nodded and Dobby walked out of the door, Klinger stopping while holding it open. "Do you think you can tape me today?"

You felt a crushing feeling inside of you because he had no clue that you weren't here to work...but instead to quit. "If no one's busy." You smiled, as he nodded in reply before leaving the locker room.

You took a deep breath and sighed before walking away from Big Rig's stall and over to Tyler's. You dug into your purse and pulled out his house key, which was attached to the  '#1 labrador mom' keychain he had given you, and placed it right in the middle of his stall. You've been meaning to give it back to him since everything crumbled, but you just haven't had the courage to face him since the day of he and Jamie's explosion. Plus, you were flying home to Victoria tonight and there would be no better time than the present to give him back the gift. Now, you had to do the one thing that you came here for– turn in your hour sheet, along with some other internship paperwork, to John. You had talked to him earlier in the week about deciding not to finish out the season, and you had to admit that you felt honored that he was upset that you were choosing not to continue. For the first time in a while, it made you feel like you had accomplished something here and that your work was appreciated. But the hardest part wasn't telling him that you were quitting, it was turning in your paperwork for him.

You stood outside of the training room door, contemplating whether or not to call Katie and tell her that you had changed your mind, that you'd love for her to walk into the room with you so you could walk right back out. But then you thought back on all of your conversations with Big Rig since Kennedy left and how, in her absence, he's been more than willing to lend an ear and even give you some advice and boost up your confidence. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, exhaling and then opening your eyes again. "I can do this." You gave yourself a few more seconds before bringing your shoulders back, lifting your chin and pushing the door open, walking into the training room like you owned the place.

"Y/N!" Pavs cheered, throwing his fists into the air. "You're finally here! I've been waiting for you to come and tape my ankle for me, for like...ever!"

"Sorry for being late," you replied, looking immediately in John's direction to see him walking over to his desk. "I just need to–"

"And you're out of your uniform?" Dickinson scoffed, walking by you. "What are they teaching you at this fancy college?"

"Yeah Y/N, you're not on winter break yet. No, relax!" Rads chimed in as the rest of the guys just laughed.

You rolled your eyes at their chirping but kept the smile on your face because you were glad that things seemed to have rolled over when it came down to the tension whenever you, Tyler and Jamie were all in the same room. This was ringing true because the three of you were in the same room at this very moment. Tyler was sitting down by Big Rig, stealing a resistance band from him to work on his shoulder, while Jamie was lying on a table in front of John's desk, getting his hamstring scraped by Craig. Neither of them looked as tense as they had in the last week, but they still weren't paying any attention to you. Well, you thought they weren't until you caught Tyler looking away from you the moment you went to say something to Big Rig about his bands. He played it off, looking immediately to his right, probably not realizing he'd be staring at a blank wall– but you were over it all, so it didn't bother you one bit.

"Is this the paperwork we talked about?" Dave asked, finally sitting down at his chair and tossing a towel on his desk.

You walked forward with the manilla folder in hand and held it up, giving him a tight-lipped smile. "Yep, this is it. Sorry I couldn't get it to you sooner. It took a while to get together since Finals ended and everything is hectic."

You held it out to him and he grabbed it from you, placing it onto his desk and opening it, skimming through the pages and nodding. "Can I get this to you after you come back from break?"

"Absolutely. There's no need to rush," you looked off to see Big Rig giving you a supportive look. He was the only one in the room besides Dave, that knew just what those papers were for. "Just as long as it's before graduation."

"Y/N!" Miro said, rushing into the room and out of breath. "You're here! Please tape me, you're the only one who can."

"Looks like you're stuck with just Craig and me, Miro," Dave said, closing the folder and standing up from his chair. "You guys must have chased her away. She's finished with her internship and decided not to extend for the full season."

That non-existent tension that you mentioned earlier, sprung it's ugly head back into the room the moment that his announcement left his lips. Both Jamie and Tyler perked up at what Dave had said, both surprised and even had a split moment where they looked at each other. Though of course, they had no clue of your decision, so shock and confusion were along the lines of what you expected them to feel. You made eye contact with Jamie first and you couldn't exactly pinpoint just what he was feeling since three separate emotions ran across his face: shock, disappointment and finally, joy. When you acknowledged him back, he opened his mouth slightly as if he might just say something, but instead bit the inside of his cheek and rested his head back down onto his forearms as Craig continued to scrap him. Tyler on the other hand only had two visible emotions: sad and extremely pissed. And if it wasn't for the fact that his eyes carried hints of sadness, you'd only think he was extremely pissed, seeing as the scowl on his face and his knitted eyebrows were the key symbols of his anger. Rightfully, you were confused at his reaction. How could he even be bothered to be angry about your choice when he hasn't talked to you in nearly two weeks?

Screw him, he has no right to be angry.

You turned your attention away from him and started to make your way back to the training room door. "Well, shit, who the hell is going to deal with my shin problem now?" Big Rig said, clearing out the silence in the room.

Bishop laughed as well a few other guys who were still left in the training room before walking away from your desk and over to you. "You're 27 years old, figure it out, you dweeb!" He came to a stop in front of you and hugged you. "Good luck with the rest of your senior year. I hope you'll still come around."

"Eh, maybe I will," you joked, pulling away from the hug and giving the guys a small wave. "Good luck tonight guys. Someone fight Tkachuk or I'll disown you as my team and switch to the Canucks."

Your joke was followed by multiple groans and mumbles, in reply to your goodbye and to the fact that you were leaving their training room forever. Once the conversation returned to normal, you took that as your time to slip out of the training room unnoticed and back out into the hallway. The moment you stared down the empty hallway, you took a deep breath and felt as if a huge weight was lifted off of your shoulders. You, Kennedy and Big Rig had made yourself a checklist of things to do before the year came to an end and you came back from winter break.

The first? Talk to Dave and give him the paperwork to wrap up your internship.

The second? Somehow repair your relationship with Jamie, which has yet to even have an outlined plan.

And the third? ...Close things off with Tyler on a positive note. He was a friend way before he was a hookup and he's your brother's best friend. Just because the two of you had relations, doesn't mean you couldn't still be friends.

You weren't one to lie to yourself. You knew that the last one probably wouldn't happen before the end of the year, if at all. Confronting Tyler was terrifying to you. Sure, you've planned everything that you wanted to say to him– it's been boiling inside of you for days. But there was never a moment that presented itself to where you could get Tyler alone, and you no longer felt comfortable just showing up at his place. So, you just pushed it onto the backburner and knew that somewhere down the road, you'd be able to accept that things would be like this from here on out– avoiding each other and pretending like nothing ever happened.

"Y/N, wait!" Halfway down the hallway, you stopped in your tracks as you listened to the sound of a door closing and shoes scuffing along the floor.

You didn't want to turn around, hell, you didn't even want to stop. But it was like your body turned against you the moment that you heard his voice. His footsteps came to a stop just behind you and you could hear him panting a little, trying to catch his breath. In his hand, you heard the slight jingle of a single key on a lanyard, and your heart squeezed in your chest.

"You can't do this. You can't leave!" The anger in his voice took you by surprise, just like his reaction only moments ago in the training room had. "You can't let me stop you from keeping this internship."

"Excuse me?" You scoffed, whipping around and feeling pure adrenaline running through your veins. "That's awfully narcissistic of you."

He looked taken back as he held tightly onto the lanyard he'd gifted you. "That's why you're leaving, though. Because of...everything?" He took a step towards you, shaking his head. "If it is I–"

Maybe it was the way he had phrased the sentence or maybe it was the way that he had pretty much just written off every moment the two of you had shared in a hesitant state. Whatever it was, you felt a whirl of anger and adrenaline swirling around inside of you as you clenched your fists by your side. "I completed my hours, Tyler, meaning my internship is done. I've fulfilled my duties as an intern here and even if it was about you and 'everything'," you threw your air quotes as you stared at him, your eyes hoping to burn holes into his head. "My position here was never permanent and we both knew that."

You felt slightly proud of yourself for the sly insinuation you threw in at him, and even more so proud when you saw that he understood just what you were implying. "Y/N listen, we need to talk."

Even if you wanted to, you couldn't have prevented the laugh that escaped from your mouth. "You've had almost two weeks to 'talk', Tyler. Two weeks to send me a text or a phone call to meet up someplace! But now that I'm leaving and I'll no longer be around for your convenience, it's the perfect time to talk?"

He stood there silent because he knew damn well that you were right. He had plenty of opportunities in the last two weeks to reach out to you, but he hadn't even bothered to pick up the phone and there was no denying it. You stood there, taking him in and it only made you feel worse. He had a hurt look on his face like he was lost as to what you wanted him to say or to do– and that only made you angrier. It was simple, what you wanted him to do. For the last two weeks, all you've wanted was for him to just talk to you, to let you know that he hadn't tossed you aside like another pointless hookup. But now, all you wanted to do was get everything off of your chest, and it was then that you realized...the universe was granting you the alone time you've desperately wanted.

"You don't get it, do you?" You asked, shaking your head as you felt a knot tighten in your throat. "You don't get how...how embarrassed I am! Do you know how many people told me to avoid getting involved with you? That you'd do nothing but end up hurting me in the end?"

"'He has a reputation for a reason, Y/N!' 'All he does is whore around Dallas, Y/N.' 'You guys are in two different stages of life, it won't work out.'" You laughed again, trying your damndest not to try. "I've heard it all, Tyler. From Kennedy, from your teammates, from kids at my school, hell– I even heard it from my mom!"

You bit the inside of your cheek as you looked off to your left, giving yourself a few seconds to compose your thoughts before looking at him again. "But I brushed their worries aside because I saw a side of you that they never got the chance to. I saw how kind and sweet you were with me. How you'd jump at any opportunity to help me study and how you always made me feel welcome in your home."

"I saw it all and I thought, 'hey, you know what? They're all wrong. He's not that kid in Boston and he's not the same guy he was when he first got to Dallas.'" You pointed at him before letting your hand drop back to your side. "I gave you the benefit of the doubt because I know people can change and with my whole heart, I believed that you had."

He continued to stare at you, almost void of emotion now as if he had put up a wall and was just letting you scream at it, which only made you more upset. "I understand that you could have lost your best friend, I really do. And I'd never ask you to put our, whatever the hell we had, above your friendship with Jamie."

 Your bottom lip trembled as you thought about the nights since, where you've checked your phone every minute to see if he had texted you. "But you could have texted me. You could've said 'hey, I just need some space right now to figure stuff out' and I would have been fine with that! Instead, you just...tossed me aside and shut me out."

The more that you spoke, the more weightless you began to feel. It was as if speaking every word and feeling you had saved for Tyler was freeing you of the pain that him dropping you like nothing, had caused. Yet, you couldn't help but feel angry at how he was just standing there. You wanted a reaction, you wanted him to apologize– anything was better than this.

"Say something! Stop standing there and staring at me!" You yelled, feeling surprised at yourself for just how high your voice had gone and echoed off of the walls.

You watched his Adam's apple bob as his fingers tangled and twirled through the lanyard."Jamie and I... we've been talking and I think it's going well."

"Well that's great for you, isn't it?" You scoffed, shaking your head and motioning towards him with a hand. "At least my brother is talking to someone, right? Better you than me, I guess. I'm happy you got your best friend back, I truly am."

The longer you stood there, the more you felt your body begin to shake from the pure adrenaline running through you. And the more that he just stared at you, the more you felt your heart breaking because it was starting to become clear that you were the only one who was hurting from all of this. You laughed in disbelief at your revelation before turning away from him, preparing to walk down the aisle and out of his view.

"Why?" You asked, keeping your back turned. "Why did you do it?"

"...Why did I do, what?"

You turned around, your hair whipping into your face before you brushed it back with your fingers. "Why did you go back to Maisy?" Your voice cracked as you spoke softly, staring at him with the tears that were threatening to spill. "Why did you treat me like I was the most important person to you and then toss me aside like I was just another pointless hookup?"

"Y/N..."

"Did you even care? Wait, no, of course, you didn't and would you like to know how I know that, Tyler?" You stared at him, expecting an answer but knowing you wouldn't get one. "Because you practically rushed me out of your house and into an uber like I was nothing. You couldn't even be bothered to make sure I got home okay! The first sign of trouble and you toss me into an uber, sent me away and then ignored me like every..."

Your voice broke as you brought a hand to your mouth and turned away from him. You took a deep breath, trying to calm down your racing heart before looking back at him. "You ignored me like every moment we spent together meant nothing to you. And m-maybe they did but to me? They're some of the best memories I've had here in Dallas."

"So imagine how it made me feel, when my brother of all people, tells me that she's here...in your seats, not even four days after you had sex with me and tossed me aside." You glared at him as your bottom lip trembled once again. "You made me look like a joke Tyler."

"It wasn't like that, okay? Maisy was just–"

"I don't care what it was like, Tyler! She was here, in seats YOU bought her last season!" You yelled, throwing your arms in the air. "You told me that you guys were over! That you haven't talked to her since July and yet, there she was!"

The moment you felt the first tear glide down your cheek, you knew that you only had moments before you would burst into tears. You went to speak and a small sob escaped from the back of your throat. Tyler went into a small panic, his eyes widening as he stepped forward and reached out for you. "Y/N–"

"Don't," You stepped back, smacking his hand away. "Don't touch me, just...don't." You closed your eyes, focusing on your breathing and collecting your thoughts before opening them and looking at him one last time. "I gave you the benefit of the doubt Tyler, but it turns out everyone was right."

You laughed again, shrugging your shoulders and shaking your head. "You're still that 19-year-old kid in Boston, who doesn't have a clue about what he wants for his life...you're nowhere near the man I thought you were." You looked him dead in the eyes, not caring about the tears running down your face. "Grow up."

With that, you turned your back to him and started to finish your journey down the hall and to the elevator, choosing to ignore how his footsteps followed you. "Y/N, wait...please."

You stopped, this time choosing to and kept your head down towards the ground and holding back your sobs. "SEGGY WHERE ARE YOU? GET DRESSED, WE'VE GOT 5 MINUTES TILL WARM-UPS!" Big Rig called out, his loud voice echoing down the hall.

You expected to hear Tyler's footprints walk in the opposite direction, but you were met with silence. "Y/N, stay after the game, please? I just," he sighed, trying to figure out what to say. "We really need to talk about everything and just...please wait for me after the game? Five minutes, two minutes, one minute– whatever you want, I don't care. Just...please, let me explain?"

"SEGGY LET'S GO!" Rads called out this time, his voice louder as you kept your back to Tyler.

You heard him sigh again before listening to his footsteps run in the direction back towards the locker room. You didn't hesitate to walk as fast as you could to the elevator, letting out every tear and sob your body had held back as he pleaded for a chance to explain. It was all you wanted from him, an explanation, but he was too late. You weren't staying for the game, you were leaving the arena and hopping onto a flight to Victoria in two hours.

You just didn't have the heart to tell him that.

You were grateful for the elevator attendant who stayed silent your entire ride up to the upper level. Before the doors opened, you took a deep breath and wiped your eyes, fixing yourself up before you'd make your way through the crowds and out of the arena. The attendant gave you a friendly smile as you walked out of the elevator. As soon as the doors closed and you made your way through the crowds, you spotted Paisley turning away from the drink cart ahead of you and you were desperate for the crowd to swallow you up before she could witness you in all of your misery.

Unfortunately for you, the universe wasn't so kind because as soon as she looked up from her purse, her eyes locked on yours and she smiled and waved at you. You froze in place, probably bothering the fans trying to make their way around you as you watched in horror, Paisley coming towards you.

"Y/N, hi!" She smiled, just as cheery as the first time you met her, which again, made it so hard to dislike her. "What are you doing up here? I thought you were down in the training room and stuff?"

"How did you know that?" You asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Cole," she scoffed, rolling her eyes before taking a sip of her beer, which was another shock because you took her for a wine kind of girl. "He complained about it and Tyler Seguin and some dude named Big Rig? But I don't understand why because like, your job sounds really cool!"

"Well, it was pretty cool, but I finished up my internship, so I won't be here much longer." You replied, stuffing your hands awkwardly into your sweatshirt pockets.

She looked at you, her eyes taking in your appearance and lingering on your face for much longer than you'd like them to. "Are you okay? You look like you've been crying."

There were a lot of things you wanted to do right now and talking to the girl your boyfriend cheated on you with, was not on the list. But she was being so nice to you and after the horrible moment you just had with Tyler, you needed a little positivity right now. "I kind of just maybe...broke up with someone? I mean we weren't a thing, but we kind of were and it's just...it's a whole hot mess." You sighed, shaking your head and brushing it off. "It doesn't matter anymore."

She gasped, bringing her drink to her chest and grabbing onto your wrist with her free hand as she leaned in. "You broke up with Tyler? But why? You guys seemed so happy whenever I saw you out downtown. Even when I saw you walking around campus, you just looked so...happy."

"It's complicated."

She shook her head, sighing and taking a long sip of her wine. "I guess it is true then, men are shit. College guy or NHL player." She must have seen the shocked look on your face because she shrugged her shoulders and rolled her eyes. "Oh yeah, I dumped Cole's ass. Sometime after you left the ABC party. He's just an asshole! And I'm sorry about everything...I never knew and I feel horrible about it."

"It's okay, he really was an asshole." You laughed, feeling a small flutter of happiness rush through you for the first time in what felt like forever. As she joined you in laughter, you dug your phone out of your back pocket and smiled. "What's your number? Maybe we can hang out after break?"

"Oh my God, yes!" She squealed, taking your phone from your hands and bringing her own out. "And I'll add you on snap and Instagram, too! Honestly, you and Kennedy seem like the coolest girls and I've always wanted to be friends with you since freshman year English lit, but we never really had classes together again."

"We can make plans for spring break maybe?" You suggested as the two of you added each other on social media before putting your phones away.

"Yes! We can plan it after break! Maybe you can even introduce me to a cute hockey boy?" She winked, nudging you playfully. "It seems to have worked out for Kennedy well."

You laughed again, nodding your head. "I know a few single guys, we'll see what we can do." You felt your phone vibrating and you brought it back out to see the notification about your uber being ten minutes out. "Oh shoot, I need to go and get my bags before my uber gets here. But I'll text you later?"

"Sure thing!" She nodded before turning to walk away. "Oh, and one more thing!"

"Yeah?"

"Don't count him out just yet, okay? As I said, I saw how he looked at you whenever I saw you guys downtown and if I know boys like I think I do...I'd say that boy loves you. And a boy in love doesn't give up that easily." She smiled and shrugged her shoulders before winking at you. "Just a thought."

You watched her disappear into the crowd, wondering what the hell just happened. When you made your way down the escalators and into the main lobby, you navigated your way towards the front office where Big Rig had asked the staff to hold your bags for you. Sneaking in and then out quickly, you grabbed the Stars 'staff' lanyard around your neck and stuffed it into your sweatshirt pockets before walking out of the arena doors with your luggage in hand and made your way to the spot where you'd meet your uber. As you stood there, waiting for your Uber to arrive, you thought about what she said. Out of curiosity, you brought your phone out of your back pocket again to see a new text on your screen...from Tyler.

'see you after the game?'

You went to reply to tell him the news, but your uber pulled up and you locked your phone and shoved it into your sweatshirt pocket along with the Dallas Stars lanyard.

You were leaving for Victoria, Tyler would go home to Toronto and there would be no waiting for him in the hallway after the game, giving him a chance to explain.

The damage was already done.

[blueberryraindrops]

Blueberry’s Ultimate T-Rated TUA Masterlist

KEY

Fics are organised alphabetically (articles e.g. ‘the’ will not count)

Download links are EPUB files only

authors can feel free to send me a msg if they want their fics’ download link taken down

Regular updates can be expected as long as I remain in the fandom

Last Update: 14/10/2020

Other Masterlists: All Fics; G-Rated; M-Rated; E-Rated

FANFICTION

☁︎ another cog in the murder machine by Ford_Ye_Fiji { T }

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Five finally gets the breakdown he deserves

☁︎ Blood like Lemonade by Ford_Ye_Fiji { T }

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Hunting high and low to seek revenge, Brand new moral code, got made reluctant renegade. Leaving empty souls when he avenged, Evil spirits flowed he drank the blood like lemonade.

Five's sordid past comes to light in, quite possibly, the most unpleasant way

☁︎ Details [Series] by VeteranKlaus { T }

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The last time Klaus saw his siblings was at Allison and Patrick's wedding. A lot had changed since then; including the not-so-accidental, irreversible loss of his sight.

There's no time to tell them that, though. Not with the return of their long-presumed-dead brother and the impending apocalypse. Plus, it doesn't matter. He's got Ben as a good seeing-eye ghost.

☁︎ do androids dream of electric sheep? by the_crownless_queen { T }

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Number Four is crying, and Grace was made to care for those children.

In which Grace was created to protect the children of the Academy. Even, as it turns out, from their father.

☁︎ don't waste your time (or time will waste you) by rosewitchx { T }

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He was an old man. He is sixteen. Ben dies next week. How does he know that? “I think I broke it,” Five stutters, and for the first time in her short life Vanya sees absolute terror in his eyes.

Or, Five travels back again. Something goes wrong.

☁︎ Fighting (Pre)Determinism by chibi_tantei { T / WIP }

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They go back in time, determined to rewrite their own family history. Only problem is, only one of them looks the proper age to get near their younger selves.

Or, six months after Five stormed out, determined to time travel, he returns home. His siblings are happy to have him back, but he's acting differently...

(Or, Five goes undercover as himself. Twice the siblings should make saving the world easier, right? Yet somehow, he's only now realizing how many issues his family has to fix.)

☁︎ Five and Dave's Life Changing (Life Saving) Field Trip by neuronary { T }

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The little boy, who Dave could now see was not as little as he’d first thought, shoved a tin mug at him. “Drink this.”

Dave drank. It tasted sickly sweet and slightly citrus-y. “Who are you?”

“Five.” The boy’s scowl deepened at Dave’s confusion. “Klaus’ brother.”

Or, Five saves Dave's life to stop Klaus from moping. From Dave's perspective, a very grouchy, sleep-deprived twelve-year-old kidnaps him and he finds it much more entertaining than he should.

☁︎ haven't you heard of meditation? by rosesareredvioletsareblue { T }

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"Klaus, you have a piece of glass sticking out of your neck!"

Klaus felt for the glass, wincing as he found it.

"Oh yeah. Fun." It took all of Five's willpower not to throttle him.

☁︎ Hidden Variables Theory, The by siriuspiggyback { T }

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Something has disturbed the space-time continuum, and it's up to Five to figure out what it is.

With a bit of luck, and a lot of alcohol, he might even manage to do it before he snaps and murders his siblings.

☁︎ haven't you heard of meditation? by rosesareredvioletsareblue { T }

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"Klaus, you have a piece of glass sticking out of your neck!"

Klaus felt for the glass, wincing as he found it.

"Oh yeah. Fun." It took all of Five's willpower not to throttle him.

☁︎ Hidden Variables Theory, The by siriuspiggyback { T }

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Something has disturbed the space-time continuum, and it's up to Five to figure out what it is.

With a bit of luck, and a lot of alcohol, he might even manage to do it before he snaps and murders his siblings.

☁︎ i'm gonna be here til i'm nothing (but bones in the ground) by iguessyouregonnamissthepantyraid { T }

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Someone definitely just punched him in the chest, right? That’s the reason for that feeling? Or that last batch of pills had something seriously off-label mixed into them. Because there’s no way. There’s no fucking way.

He squeezes his eyes shut until dots burst behind his eyelids, but when he opens them, the hallucination doesn’t go away.

“… Five?”

☁︎ if the sky comes falling down by synchronicities { T }

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The equations are still wrong.

In 2002, Number Seven wonders why her siblings are acting odd.

(Or, the post-finale “Vanya doesn’t remember the time travel” fic)

☁︎ If You're Different And You Know It (you're not alone) by M3zzaTh3M3z { T }

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Five was different. He’d always known. Different from most people, what with his freakish birth, powers and unconventional upbringing, all that old news. And different from his siblings. He was smarter. His powers were stronger. And he’d never picked a name. All that was old news too. But there was something else that separated him from the rest, something he didn’t know how to put a finger on, how to categorize, analyse, understand. Five didn’t like not understanding. It was probably Klaus that made him first notice something was off.

☁︎ Is the sadness everlasting? (love, I think it is) by ArmedWithMyComputer { T }

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A look into what Klaus' newly discovered ability could mean for the siblings.

Diego could feel his whole body trembling as he faced the ghosts, only able to take shallow breaths as he struggled to process the true horror of what he was seeing.

And then they started howling.

The sound pierced though his stupor and forced him to his knees instantly. It was like nothing Diego had ever experienced before, and he was consumed with the intensity and overwhelmed by a deep chilling fear. It felt as though his mind had been taken over and all he could hear was the shrieks of grief, more intense than any emotion he had ever felt.

☁︎ It Does(n't) Matter by MYSTERYstew { T }

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It’s a familiar feeling, being lifted up by Luther and tossed around like he weighs nothing (to Luther he certainly does), it was a favorite move of Luther’s as a child. Nostalgia is not what Five feels, he’s too busy flailing as Luther throws him over the railing.

or, Five fails a jump

☁︎ Just One Minute by willowhisperer { T }

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Five holds up his end of the deal, soaked in blood. The Handler decides to toy with him a little while longer.

Maybe it's revenge, maybe she's riding the high of her shiny new position as head of the Commission.

Really, she just wants to win, once and for all.

☁︎ Lessons 'verse [Series] by Soulykins { T }

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Five was maybe four years old when he figured out that he was pretty much ride or die for his siblings. He was also four when he figured out that in the Umbrella Academy, you could never let Reginald Hargreeves figure out what you loved lest he use it against you. There was safety in aloof indifference, more than could be found anywhere else under their roof.

Five times Five Hargreeves protected his siblings the best ways he could, and the one time he failed.

☁︎ Lethe by shoelaces { T / WIP }

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Le·the | A river in Hades whose waters cause drinkers to forget their past.

Or: Five loses his memories instead of Vanya, and it falls to his siblings to raise a superpowered teenager in the 1960s, all whilst preserving their own new lives and preventing yet another apocalypse.

☁︎ Like an abyss by fridayyy { T }

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For the second time, Five has to (gets to?) grow up.

☁︎ Like Oxygen by sevansa { T }

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Klaus's powers may be a bit more extensive than just seeing the dead, he's not sure what to do about that.

OR

The one where Klaus's power is not ghosts, but souls and that makes a hell of a difference.

☁︎ Mellow Rays of a Departing Sun [Series] by Emotionally_Detached (Yeah_Toast) { T }

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He makes it. He time travels and makes it through another apocalypse. He makes it, but his siblings don't.

His siblings don't make it, except he's in his own childhood and they're still here, alive and thirteen and he can fix things.

He will fix things

☁︎ most dangerous place in the world, the [Series] by Princess_Sarcastia { T }

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"Grace is the third model in a series created by and for Sir Reginald.  She has access to the knowledge obtained by her predecessors in their time assisting Sir Reginald in his many endeavors.

All three of them were primarily designed as protectors.  Do no harm, just as Mr. Asimov said!

But Grace is slightly different."

[priority one: protect the children]

☁︎ New Life, A by BirdInTheCave { T }

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Allison had convinced Ray to come back to 2019 with her and her family and after a month of being cooped up in the house with the other Hargreeves plus their own unconventional guests, Ray suggests they spend some time alone. He's still struggling to fully comprehend the new world he's stepped into but he's determined that with Allison at his side he can get used to anything. Allison can't find a reason to say no. She should have said no.

Luckily for her, Five will always be there for his family, now that he's back.

☁︎ Not with me by ClaraCivry (Kat_Of_Dresden) { T }

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They never asked if any of that blood was his. Five is bleeding, and he is also giving up.

AU to 2X07, with hurt Five because after all that boy has been through...

☁︎ Number Five | And The Things that Make Him Tick [Series] by Kraeyola { T }

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It's only been two weeks for him.

AKA: Five succumbs to two weeks worth of badly cared for (physical and emotional) injuries, and ends up extremely feverish.

☁︎ On My Terms by CivilBores { T }

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“I did what you asked,” he tells her. “Now, the briefcase.”

Her eyebrows raise in mock-surprise, red lips curling up her face in a sadistic smile.

“You didn’t think that was all, did you?” she asks.

AU: The Handler gives Five a slightly different deal.

☁︎ Partners, Parents, or None of the Above by DarkFairytale { T }

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Kenny's mom assuming that Diego and Klaus were A) a couple and B) Number Five’s parents was both bemusing and amusing at the time. But that was because it was the only time it had ever happened. Now though? Now they just can't understand why these misunderstandings keep happening.

☁︎ rude awakening by Soulykins { T / WIP }

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When Five wakes up, he just knows someone is in the room with him. Of course, even he didn't except to come face to face with the Handler who he'd thought to be very very dead. And he especially didn't expect her to break into his room and watch him sleep while waiting for him to wake up.

It's very fortunate that Diego and Klaus show up to wake him up and take offense to some random lady in the same room as their very uncomfortable, very thirteen-year-old brother.

☁︎ Screaming in the Face of Communication by papayaromantic { T }

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It's not that he doesn't want to pay attention to Five, just that he seriously can't hear what the boy is saying past the wailing of the torn apart woman in front of him.

☁︎ shaking like I shook before by Anonymous { T }

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Five tries to deal with it alone, until he learns that he doesn’t have to.

☁︎ skirts and sweaters by slightlyworriedhuman { T }

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"I don't want to be a ‘cute little schoolboy’ anymore, alright?” Five snapped. For some reason, the thought of himself as a schoolboy was enough to make his skin prickle. Was it the implication that he was younger than the rest of them, less mature despite his life?

...Yeah, it was definitely that. Absolutely.Five wants a change in wardrobe. His siblings are more than happy to help.

☁︎ small changes by calypso42 { T }

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“I need to ask you something.” He set down the large stack of books he was carrying beside him. Klaus glanced at a few of the titles - Consciousness in the Brain - Memory & the Role of the Hippocampus - Soul vs. Matter: A Comprehensive Look at the Origins of Sentience - and grimaced.

“Are you… having an existential crisis, or something? Because I am possibly the worst person you could go to for that.”

...

When Five goes to Klaus to ask him something about his powers, Klaus doesn’t think much of it. At least, until he realizes that what he thought was simple curiosity was actually deeper than that, leading to a revelation about Five himself.

☁︎ take shelter by aloneintherain { T }

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AU where the apocalypse doesn’t follow the Hargreeves to the 1960s. Without the threat of nuclear annihilation hanging over their heads, the siblings can take the time to be a family again.

Until they find out that the Handler has been blackmailing Five.

☁︎ this is a bad town (for such a pretty face) by luciimariiellii { T }

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Five’s gone. (How the Hargreeves cope, and how they reunite.)

☁︎ to unexplain the unforgivable by darkviverna { T }

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Ability to see the dead and having a temporal assassin for a brother don’t mix well.

☁︎ Too Much Too Little by 1spideyson { T }

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Five says nothing on the ride back, just gently presses the tips of thin fingers to his eyes and temples like his head is a new instrument he’s learning to play. Like he’s searching for the right notes.

Diego tries not to cast too many worried glances the boy’s way, but when Five crawls into Diego’s bed, shaking and grey, he can’t stop himself from speaking up.

A look at Five and Diego's relationship through a h/c lens.

☁︎ Too Old To Be So Young by KaseyBeth { T }

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Five winced loudly, pushing his head off the floor to see bright red smeared across his chest and stomach; crimson soaked into his shorts, running down his leg. His head fell back against the ground dizzyingly, and he groaned as someone touched the wound, biting his bottom lip as he tried to stay conscious. The end of life, of everything, was in three days; they didn’t have time for this, he didn’t have time for this. A bullet wound, a stupid bullet wound and all that stupid concern and worry, was just going to slow them down. There wasn’t time for mistakes, or hiccups, or rest and recovery. It was the end of the fucking world.

☁︎ traumaversary by WeWalkADifferentPath { T }

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It follows him like an unscratched itch. Under his skin, over his body, around his energy, like a mosquito that won’t leave him the fuck alone.

April 1st. April 1st. April 1st.

(A character study of Five, with some inevitable family feels, in honour of March 24th).

☁︎ Unexpected Future, An by aseies { T / WIP }

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“I’m sure you’re looking forward to finding a way back to your own time as soon as possible,” Nedzu said. “I want you to know that U.A. will do everything in its power to help you achieve that goal. Time travel is a complicated equation to solve, but I’m sure if we put our heads together we’ll come up with something!”

Five raised a skeptical eyebrow. “And you’re just going to do that out of the goodness of your heart? I’m not even old enough for high school yet.”

“Well, we’re all heroes for a reason, no? What good are we if we can’t help a single child in need?” Nedzu pointed out with a pleasantly neutral smile as he sipped his tea.

OR: Instead of time traveling into the apocalypse, thirteen-year-old Five Hargreeves teleports in the middle of the USJ fight.

He gets a couple of new dads out of it.

☁︎ walls kept tumbling down, the by Ingu { T }

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It started small.

There was a nagging ache in his chest, phantom pain from where the bullets had pierced his flesh, in the overwritten timeline that never will be.

(the one where rewinding time doesn't miraculously resolve mortal gunshot wounds)

☁︎ We All Deserve Second Chances (but don't repeat your mistakes) by justarandomword, wolvesandnovas { T }

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Time-travelling gave Ben a second chance at life. He's not about to let Reginald Hargreeves ruin that for him and Klaus.

(a.k.a. Reginald takes Klaus' dog tags and the aftermath.)

☁︎ we didn't choose this life, we're just (kind of) living it [Series] by noodlerdoodler { T / Partially WIP }

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Five couldn’t move, standing by and watching complacently, as his younger brother grabbed him roughly by the front of his sweater. It was like he was watching a play he wasn't apart of, yet that was definitely his small body being tossed over the balcony. No doubt, Luther thought that he would just jump out of the way. He'd always jumped out of the way, sometimes without even meaning to, but now visions of a world on fire flashed through his head as his body plummeted towards the ground. Seemingly, he was tumbling through the air in slow motion and absentmindedly, Five wondered if this was his life flashing before his eyes. All he saw was the desolate world he’d left behind weeks ago.

When Five hit the ground, it was with a sickening cracking noise.

“Oh my god, Luther, what have you done?”

☁︎ with two arms by karcheri { T }

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What it comes down to, really, is that Five had been too eager for results. Once it became clear to him that there was a connection between his powers and his energy level the obvious course of action, as he saw it, was to test this information. The hypothesis was this: higher energy levels = stronger powers and the easiest way to get more energy is to eat more. Pretty simple stuff. Too simple.

or Five times that Five starves himself and one time that he gets called out on it.

☁︎ you from yesterday by questors (sieges) { T }

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The difference between who his siblings once were and who they are now.

[gffa]

Scattered Star Wars thoughts: - I finished the audiobook of A Crash of Fate and it’s pretty much exactly what I expected out of it--it’s a YA novel with Star Wars window dressing, where the bigger events of the galaxy are so distant they might as well not even be there, the two characters fall in love over the span of a day, communication issues are the biggest challenge (other than the last quarter of the book has the main character’s old acquaintances popping back up, as you know they would when you started the book), and it’s exactly what it’s supposed to be.  None of these comments are a value judgement, because one person is going to find them to be a minus and then the next will find them to be a plus, and that too is exactly what it’s supposed to be. I think a lot depends on how much you’re charmed by the tropes of YA stories, of stories being centered almost entirely on the love story between two characters, and that will determine a lot of what you get out of the book.  Since I’m not a big fan of “fell in love over the period of 24 hours” (not even when they knew each other when they were much younger), the book could never really get me onboard with the Jules/Izzy relationship feelings, I never got swept up in their relationships, especially when so much was told to us about who these characters are (well, who Izzy is, Jules is just kind of there), and the uphill battle of trying to make me care about Batuu The Product Placement Planet, when it’s so obviously about the corporate tie-ins. That’s not to say it’s a bad book, nor do I regret having picked it up!  There was a point towards the end, when I had less than an hour left of the book to go, I almost paused it to go listen to something else, just because I didn’t want to be finished with it, that it’d become something of my comfortable listening.  It was easy to have it on in the background and let it go for a couple of hours while I cleaned or played a game.  I found it to have a genuine charisma that made me want to keep going!  Whether this is the light material of the book itself or that I really enjoyed the narrator’s voices or even a mix of the two, I can’t say.  Yet I definitely found that I was fond of this book by the end. But I’m still not the target audience for this, so my review comes with some giant grains of salt, and maybe I wouldn’t have read it if I didn’t want to have the dubious honor of having read all the SW canon books, but it was a fun way to have some background ambiance for the hours it took to get through the book and I’d love to hear from others if they really got sucked into it and liked it, what made it work for them!  But if the above stuff isn’t really your jam, if you’re not looking to be a completionist, then this one might not be the one for you, either.  It depends on what you want to get out of a Star Wars book. - Now that I’ve finished that one, time to pick a new one!  I want to read Treason and Black Spire and Alphabet Squadron, so those are out.  I probably should start Empire’s End again, I keep putting it off because I don’t want there to be No More Aftermath.  But instead I’m gonna try Star Wars and Philosophy.  I’ve tried reading this one in novel form, but it slides off my brain every time--and 10 minutes in, I’m remembering why. This is a book that brings up really interesting philosophical questions, stuff like, “Can you choose against your destiny?” or “Could Luke have lived his life on Tatooine and been just fine?” or assumes that Obi-Wan and Yoda were trying to get Luke to kill Vader.  These are things that the narrative and the creators have already specifically answered and so I’m left with this dissonance between the idea of THESE THINGS HAVE SPECIFIC TO THIS UNIVERSE ANSWERS ALREADY (WHICH YOU ARE GETTING WRONG ACCORDING TO THE NARRATIVE INTENTION) versus OH MY GOD SHUT UP AND LET PEOPLE HAVE THEIR FUN OF SPECULATING. (Me, trying to be cool while listening to this book, then inevitably there’s a voice in my head yelling-- ONE, Yes, George Lucas says Anakin “went against his Fate” in ROTS so you’re not locked into pre-destined choices, TWO, sort of, the TLJ novelization has Luke having a Force dream about what that would have been like, THREE,  George Lucas specifically says, no, they weren’t trying to get Luke to kill Vader, but they needed him to be prepared that it MIGHT happen.) Because speculation is an important part of being a fan, one that the creators of Star Wars have talked about how they don’t want to take that way.  It’s why we don’t have any word of god answers on what the hell Mortis is, because Dave Filoni specifically said that they do have answers, but they’re not going to give them because that would ruin speculation.  I mean, they don’t do it on everything and George Lucas famously goes around going, “Oh, yeah, here’s what that means.” (WHICH I LOVE HIM FOR, I LOVE WORD OF GOD STUFF) and even he doesn’t tell you how to think about every single thing, that some things are up to interpretation.  It’s a balance between talking about the narrative intentions up to a certain point but still allowing people to have their own reactions and speculation, which isn’t easy, but I like the balance they’ve achieved.  (Especially because no one is obligated to take word of god narrative intention into account.  Hell, no one’s obligated to take canon into account if they don’t want to, much less what the creators say about the intentions behind it!) All of which isn’t really the point of a philosophy book (this is more a navel-gazing post about me than it is about this book XD), but it does distract me away when the premises brought up to bring about these interesting questions are ones that have already been answered and that’d be fine, except the point of the book (and they say this early on) is that there aren’t any answers to these things.  Which, if you want to discount those answers, that’s totally cool!  But they are still answers.  And I have a hellish time getting that out of the way so I can just settle in with the book. Which may be a frustratingly silly reason to bounce off a book, but, eh, at least I’m not to Tolkien Scholar Levels of Being A Nerd.  (I say with genuine admiration, there are some hardcore Tolkien Nerds and I LOVE THEM.) Scattered Star Wars Thoughts/2019 Resolutions Update: - A Crash of Fate (audiobook) Current total:  278/520

[ca1e70-deactivated]

a list of my entirely way too niche headcanons ive actually implemented for everyones imagination:

name options ive used and refuse to retire: david elizabeth strider (sometimes i dont feel like being a douche to others and saying thats not his name), harley davidson strider, and david james strider for the sake of simplicity

im not gonna tell yall the like. oc exes ive given him bc thatll take eighteen years. 

i dont rlly have an explanation on the ghost thing besides the fact he just can? ive occasionally pulled from family ghost stories and experiences bc i somehow got landed with family members who lived in a haunted house for a decade and enjoy scaring me with all the stories (including the time my cousin literally died on the kitchen floor from a bronchial spasm and one of the friends that was over asked my aunt later what was up with the old man she saw in the corner of the room that night - my cousin is fine btw shes just a huge bitch and a third grade teacher and i dont like her)

whether or not hes done drugs is based on absolutely nothing besides how im feeling in that moment. either hes the designated driver and sober friend forever or he got fired from his job after doing a line at work during graveyard with some random customers theres no inbetween (this absolutely happened @ waho. if dave works at waho hes a mess of a person and thats on the diner itself.)

ok look i hc dave w/schizophrenia besides when i was 14 i had a hyperfixation with learning about it and then at 16 was prescribed a medication and had side effects so wack my therapist genuinely thought 14 yr old me was onto something and its a weird way to cope with the idea that lady put in my head that i might “develop it in my twenties” which i turn 20 this year and i havent been able to stop obsessing and panicking over the prospect so PLEASE dont come in my inbox calling me ableist im not out here all harley quinn in suicide squad with the voices ok hes medicated, he goes to therapy, the hard fast delusion that lil cal was nearly sentient and informed bro of every single thing dave did no matter how asinine it was is no longer a debilitatingly affecting him ANYWAYS

i actually use the chicken/egg farming family pretty often just because its hilarious to me to give dave like. an actual mom and dad. hes literally an uncle to like three different kids he just never visits because they make fun of his skinny jeans and he hates one of his (incredibly bare-bones ocs all of them) brothers who threatened to bash his head in with a little league bat after dave broke his star wars lego set apart on accident (but not rlly) so their parents were like “why dont you stay with your brother in the big city for a lil while champ” and then they just never picked him back up? and thats on favoritism 

the other one is that his name is actually david reed and hes the middle child of a family of three who literally live the standard golden retriever white middle class life only they went to disney land or something equally as dumb one year when dave was like 6 and he wandered off so bro literally just went “huh free game” because frankly he was an idiot who thought maybe i should take this kid home because its real dangerous in parking lots and then it was too late to NOT have it seem like a kidnapping and thats why daves never had a summer job, seen his birth certificate, or gone to school. but vaguely remembers what kindergarten was like and having a pet dog and calling someone mom as a kid. 

im not making a bullet point about his sex life headcanons just use your imagination and acknowledge the fact bro essentially worked within the sex industry and i enjoy putting dave through trauma as a catharsis 

i stopped doing this one usually but if he did go to school hes been in percussion since fifth grade and played the drums in his high schools jazz band as well as various edgy teenager garage bands he likes to pretend dont have a youtube presence and that hes absolutely never been shirtless in front of plenty of his classmates because he wore a hoodie to a show like an idiot. idk occasionally ill put him in an actual band he doesnt hate but keeps separate from his lil turntechGodhead internet persona (which i will ALSO touch upon in a sec) until they wind up getting looped into a tour with some bigger named band that has a show in *insert beta kid here*’s city and hes gotta come clean solely so he can visit his online friend. sorry derseasterous thats the one time weve ever run into each other and i made him have a crush on one of his bandmates i was in my anti-daverose phase where i made dave a hoe and also didnt want to admit i still loved the ship all these years later 

i hate it so much but you know the whole vr loli trap voice shit that was popular a while ago? hes fucking baller at it for some reason. he did it as a joke while talking to bro and they both about shat their pants. if im feeling real ambitious, hes got a separate soundcloud solely dedicated to doing dumbass rap covers or making his own but in the voice under the pseudonym elizabeth “beth” davids that he will never admit is his. well, he will, but hes gonna be really fucking embarrassed about it. irony or not.

talking abt seperate soundclouds and stuff ive always had it where turntechGodhead was his like. essentially internet fucking persona facade shit he used because we all had that phase where we wanted memorable urls and stuff but also didnt want to totally ignore the nagging fear of people finding you in real life, until it turned into real life ppl finding you on the internet. so he also has basically an adjacent set of social media under the same name but its just a boring username i havent decided on so everyone he knows irl doesnt mix up with what hes made for himself as TG and the people he knows as TG dont know what highschool he goes to. (this occasionally comes with the territory of ppl on parp being pissed that daves “lying” or “hiding things” from his friends as if he was doing it out of spite instead of just keeping embarrassing tagged photos and videos from football games or when he ate shit at the skatepark from fucking with his “rap career”)

every once in a while i get on a kick where hes just german. like, i just replace houston texas with hamburg germany and have him apply to a university in whatever state is applicable for whoever im chatting with and it goes from there? sometimes he moved when he was little and went through the whole visa thing, sometimes he didnt go through the visa thing, sometimes hes a dual citizen because of family and shit, its all dependent on what suits the situation best. 

one that ive been fucking with for a while but hardly break out (until recently with like 5 roses in the span of one day hell yeah) is that he has a neighbor at the end of the hall who is like a thousand year old witch lady that hes basically adopted as his mother figure in lieu of not having one and shes totally cool with it, especially bc when she kicks the bucket she fully plans on giving dave all her occult stuff so her figure-skating coach and realtor daughter doesnt sell it at a garage sale and lets it all go to waste. she also once brought rose up by name in a conversation without any prompting of her existence which dave didnt realize for days, and then one time cryptically stopped and stared at an empty space in the wall, went “she has potential, you know.” then looked at him sitting on her kitchen counter with a smile “lots of it” and hes thought about that weekly ever since. (it is important to note one of the occult items he leaves her is literally her own personal book of shadows shes been filling out for decades its like a 600 page leatherbound book dave has no idea what its used for but the sheer amount of homemade spells and etc in it is like. gonna murder rose the second this chick gets her hands on it i promise you.)

theres the standard strife shit? im not rlly gonna get into those theyre all basically cookie cutter bullshit. its just standard bro and dave abuse talk. i like to inclulde the whole 24hr live cam up in the apartment that definitely watches dave in every room besides his own and the bathroom, but that quickly delves into the prospect of middle-aged men stalking him online and basically sexually harassing him in his own god damn home by talking about how they can see him just trying to take his shoes off in the living room after getting home and frankly? its not one of my best takes! but once you throw it into the headcanon bin, its there forever. 

he actually really does do something with his photography but not enough to warrant anything exciting, but he has his own branding for it and regularly takes pictures of his friends or anything else he thinks is moderately interesting enough to take pictures of, but those are just thrown into shoeboxes under his bed in favor of posting genuine shots because he wants to keep his image intact and blurry photos of jade smiling in the tree they climbed up together while bec paws at the base of it while whining isnt exactly something he wants the whole world to see.

i also pretty often but him into either paleontology OR i put him down as trying to become a mortician because he thinks handing roadkill once he graduated from museum giftshop specimens to doing his own taxidermy on the side has prepared him enough to perform an occasional autopsy and start embalming real human corpses. (sometimes i put my own desires in and make them his bc i have to project at some point and put him through the same EMT course i dropped out of bc it was one semester and he already has pretty decent first aid skills, but he definitely didnt expect it to be as fucking wild at times as it is, but whats he gonna do? get a job back at waffle house? the company hes working for just offered to pay like half his associates in paramedicine tuition and hes already got all his pre-recs done when he started for paleo. at least its a stable job and hes got the ability to be compassionate in the moment) 

im running out of things that ive done to the poor kid. OH 

hes not a virgin he had a girlfriend all four years of high school (shes also one of his optional and designated exes plz keep up) and their relationship ends in one of two ways: she dies in a car accident a week before their high school graduation, or she stops talking to him entirely a week after their high school graduation until a couple years later she gets into (guess what) a car accident with her current wife/girlfriend and dies which leaves behind their daughter. who just so happens to also be daves daughter. her name is hannah and i love her like my own but no one ever likes her and thats on the conditioning of dirk. does dave end up taking her in? yes. shes awesome and the first time he takes her to the park to like run off some fucking steam she disappears for two minutes and dave is moderately terrified until she comes back holding a dead baby squirrel and thats the moment he realizes huh maybe things really do be genetic.

ok at the bottom of the list im gonna add the couple of times hes been a camboy which usually coincides with the live apartment cam thing and the amount of people in his dms calling him hot or whatever, but typically its more of a started the day he turned 18 and basically dipped around 20 in favor of showing up randomly with no warning to complain about a video game dick in hand because it gives him an outlet that wont annoy his friends bc this is the fifteenth time hes had a lot to say this week about a certain boss battle and also the comments fuel his ego and daddy issues.

the last one wasnt the bottom but literally unless its explicitly proven otherwise every time anyone rps with me there is the underlying fact dave strider was a goalie on his high school lacrosse teams all four years and (shocker another one) definitely had the hots for one of his teammates like major hots like first gay experience hots. like it was painfully obvious that teammate also liked him back hots. like one night at a team sleepover one of the other guys was like can yall just makeout and get it over with were fucking tired and dave really had the balls to be offended and ask what the fuck they were talking about while literally sitting halfway in the mans lap bc for some reason they had to share the same chair. 

he is also guilty until proven innocent of being the worlds biggest loner outside of that sports team and even though hes literally a jock he still opts to eat his lunch alone in the hallway or something like that and has a tendency to leave girls on read, but bc hes got an in with the rest of the jocks hes basically drug around to plenty of parties and since hes conventionally attractive enough and popular in the aloof way that he is, hes got plenty of tagged insta posts and twitter directs and snapchat streaks going. 

THESE WERE ALL NO GAME AND DONT INVOLVE SHIPS BC I LIKE TO KEEP MY OPTIONS OPEN AND THEYRE LITERALLY ALL BASED OFF RPS IVE DONE I HOPE YALL JUDGE ME ACCORDINGLY

[bbs-backlog-challenge]

BB’s Games Of 2019

2019 as a year felt like it lasted two years, and a lot happened in my personal life. Got a new job, learned to drive, got my first car, moved out of the in-laws’ basement into our first real apartment, started my first long-term game of DnD (which in itself has involved a new relationship and an emotional breakdown)- and between it all I somehow managed to play 77 games. Backlog’s down to 35 titles, lads- at this rate, I’ll be down to zero by July 2020. (Not gonna happen.) In 2020, I’d like to explore the SNES catalogue a little more, but before that happens we have to review everything 2019 brought me, in a somewhat chronological order.

- Near A Tomato Carry-over from last year’s post since I was in the middle of playing it at the time. I definitely never quite got a handle on the combat and I think some of the themes went over my head, but I still had fun here, and the 9S hacking minigame never got old. It was a gift from an old friend who I miss. Was nice to reconnect. - SSBU With my new main Zelda, I cleared all of WoL and got every spirit on the Spirit Board. I never really used her before but she’s cute now! Really liked the attention to detail in the spirit encounters. Unfortunately, Cloud is still in the game. - Mega Mans 1 2 and 3 I actually spoke about my experiences with the Mega Men in my BBLC post for Mega Man Eggs, so you should read that right now. - Metroid Samus Returns It’s Good. Like, a solid Good. Never Great, never Bad, just Good. It’s nice to see one of the least accessible games in the series get a remaster, but it feels very disposable, if that makes sense. Like they just needed a Metroid to keep people busy while they reboot Prime 4 development. AM2R is vastly superior, go play that. One point of amusement- the game tells its story without narration, and also seems to pre-suppose you know Metroid lore. I was entertained by the thought of a newcomer to the series being completely mystified by the sudden space-dragon that comes out of nowhere to wreck you at the end of the game. - Khimera: Destroy All Monster Girls You can click here to download it, ‘cos it’s free, which is almost criminal. This is one of the higher tier games I’ve played this year. A little bit Mega Man, a bit Metroid, with hints of Touhou and Undertale, it’s pretty tough at times but never to ‘precision platformer’ levels. It’s a lot of fun and the dev deserves your support. - Steve And Ollie RPG Oh, I made this one. Making something else next year? Question mark? - Prof Layton 3 Feels like these are getting weaker as they go along. The story has always been absolute boohockey, but the puzzles feel like they’re degrading in quality too. With over 200 in each game, that’s not super surprising, and I’m glad they didn’t bulk it out with a load of the awful block-slider puzzles. Still, it’s Layton, if you liked any of the other games you’ll like this cos it’s the exact same thing. - Fault Milestone Two Yo, there ain’t a damned thing I can say about Fault, so go play the first one and then play this and you’ll understand. - Full Throttle I never bothered to finish it. The obtuse old Sierra puzzlers were hard enough to deal with back in the day, and just feel kind of inexcusable now. I don’t have the patience for it. - eXceed 3rd Slick and fun bullet hell with a nigh-incomprehensible story and great music. Touhou fans will like it. Music by SSH who is relatively well known in doujin circles. - ASAMU Finished it before writing my BBLC post! - Eternal Senia Everything I said in my post rings true- do your best to look past the wonky translation, because there’s a heartfelt story underneath it. Very accessible gameplay, by design. - Inivisble Inc You have never before been, nor will you ever again be, so aware of having left a door open. I fully expected to hate Invisible, but I got hooked pretty hard. Quite tempted to do another run of it once the backlog is clear. - Pyre GOTY. Supergiant’s best game so far, and that’s not an easy thing to say for this Bastion veteran. I sobbed by the end. I’m not being dramatic- literally sobbed. Please play it. Music and writing and, just, heart, are all top tier. All the Nightwings are the best, but Hedwyn is the best best. - Ellipsis Finished it before writing my BBLC post! - Just Cause 2 I found myself getting bored very quickly. The main missions are all identical (really, they are) and the side missions are very uninspired. Blitzing around in a jet or grappling around a mission target is a lot of fun but it feels very shallow. There’s a lot to do but not really any reason to do any of it. I dunno, it’s a kind of hollow experience, that I nonetheless had fun with. - LiEat It went over my head a little, but that’s more on me I think. These horror-esque, eccentric japanese RPG Maker games usually do. But, it’s neat, and short. If this sort of thing usually sticks on you, I think this is a good title. - Shantae Pirates Curse These games always felt non-essential to me; I’m not sure why they never stuck. They never really go below or above Good. Entirely enjoyable but I don’t feel like I’d have really missed anything if I hadn’t played them. It is, however, absolutely worth investing in for the utterly superb sprite work. That doesn’t sell a game by itself, I know, but Shantae is a pixel art masterclass. - FF5 I’d more or less finished it by the time I wrote my BBLC post, so I don’t have much to add. It’s a refreshingly goofy entry in a series known for taking itself too seriously, even compared to its predecessor. Look forward to my entry for this game in my Games Of 2020 post, having played the Four Job Fiesta! - Touhou 17 It’s mid-tier in the touhou hierarchy, IMO. Didn’t set my soul alight but I did enjoy it. Playing as Wolf Marisa makes the final boss too chaotic to really enjoy, but playing through again with Reimu made it more fun. I beat Extra on my third run through, which gave me false confidence that after 10 years I might actually be good at these games- to then be quickly humbled by attempting Th11’s Extra. Final Boss’ theme song has one of the greatest lead-ins of all time, especially given you start the fight by running away from her! Also really loved the Stage 4 theme as you barrel head-first into Hell (the real one this time), and the haunting, calm-before-the-storm serenity of Stage 5, overlooking the City Of Beasts. - HackNet + Labyrinths GOTY. (Yes, I know I already said Pyre was GOTY; it’s my post, I can have two GOTYs. Make your own damned post!) It’s hard to say what I loved about these games without spoiling too much- just know that they play very much like investigation games, and figuring out the puzzles feels great. Labyrinths technically takes place during the events of Hacknet, with a somewhat more Black Hat approach to things- despite this, play all of Hacknet first, and then play Labyrinths. The expansion introduces a lot of new stuff and much trickier challenges, such that going back to the base game afterwards to finish that would leave it a little hollow- a disservice to how great the ending is. - Mega Man X I said everything I wanted to say in my BBLC post, and anything I didn’t cover was better said by Egoraptor. - Octodad Finished it before my BBLC post! - Chroma Squad The final mission is disappointingly poor, but everything up to that point was pretty good. Huge variance and creativity in the bosses. However, the most fun I got from it was when I realised the game allowed me to customise my team name, transformation name, and other such terminology. Dave, Dayve, Davy, Davina, and Dehve shouting “It’s time to Chromatise, Chroma Squad!” very quickly became “It’s time to shit, you bunch of fucks!” and it was funny every single time. (Personal favourite bit of dialogue- “I tried to shit! It worked!”) - Pyrite Heart Finished it before my BBLC post! - Starfox 2 Finished it before my BBLC post! - Burly Men At Sea Finished it before my BBLC post! - Disc Room Finished it before my BBLC post! - Kokurase Finished it before my BBLC post! Should have broken these ones up a bit! - Metroid Rogue Dawn Very, very impressive romhack let down by a distinctly un-fun final section. They managed to fix so many of OG Metroid’s problems, I’m surprised the gauntlet of terribleness that is Tourian escaped with only a cosmetic change. Nonetheless, it’s free, and the other 95% of the game is superb, even from a purely technical standpoint. - Wuppo I dunno what happened here! I was full of praise for Wuppo when I played it, but somehow I just couldn’t stick with it and just never felt like playing it. It’s a very aimless game, and I wonder if that might be why? It’s a shame, I feel disappointed in myself for not seeing it through, but ultimately I play games to have fun and I just wasn’t quite there with Wuppo. - Super Mario Odyssey I loved it, obviously. I wrote my BBLC post towards the end of my time with Odyssey so most of that stands- I do want to add that the controls always felt a little loose, like I wasn’t quite as in-control as I was in Galaxy. Also Mario prioritises walljumping over ledge-grabbing and it’s super-hard to unlearn that instinct after 20 years. Finally- Long Journey’s End is just bullshit. - Secret Of Mana Dropped it pretty soon after Finning it. There’s some logic to the way the game works, some kind of hidden turn-order system, that I could not at all figure out. My AI companions (useless, btw) would hit an enemy which meant I couldn’t, except sometimes the hit would still register but only actually go through 3 seconds later, without any way to tell which way it was going to go. It takes like 7 months for your character to get back up after taking a hit. It’s just, wonky, and I couldn’t solve the puzzle of how to make the game do what I wanted to do. - Pokemon Shield Still working my way through it. It’s- yeah, it’s pokemon. Get a similar vibe to Sun/Moon with it that it’s kind of unfinished- lots of small (and some not so small) parts of the game just feel like there were bigger plans that couldn’t be realised in time. I’m still enjoying it! They did a great job of making the gym battles, and the whole process of 8-badges-then-champion, feel like a spectacle. I think only the anime has managed it to this degree before. - Earthbound Man, I really, really want to like this game, but the battle system is terrible. I need to play through the game again buffing my party up with cheats or something, because it’s so unbalanced and cheap. Everything else about the game is wonderful, but I got so frustrated with the fights! - Mario Kart 8 Didn’t play any of the single player this time, it was midgi’s christmas present so I just joined a couple of multiplayer games. Absolutely baffled that the game features F-Zero style anti-gravity courses, has Mute City and Big Blue, and even has the Blue Falcon as a selectable vehicle, but they haven’t put Captain Falcon in it. Like he’s ever going to get another game of his own? Let him have this! - Carmageddon 2 It’s pretty clunky by now, being 20 years old, but still plays well enough. The physics are super loose so you slide around like your tires have been buttered. It was more fun when they were zombies instead of just normal people. Missions are brutally hard and should be skipped with cheats. - Neopets After 15 years of playing, I finally got a Ghostkersword. The site as a whole has gone through a lot, and certainly its heyday is long gone, but there’s no other game quite like it. I’m playing the Food Club every day, still. - SIF New phone can’t run the actual gameplay section well enough, so I just log in occasionally to grab free scouts. Here’s another one whose golden years are behind it, sadly, but I certainly still have a lot of affection for SIF. - FF1 Mobile version, which fixes a lot of the bugs with the NES original. This year I completed a solo run with 1 Red Mage, a 4-black belts run, a low-level run, and a 4 White Mages run (which ended up being a lower-level run than the low-level run). I’m fairly comfortable in calling myself an expert in FF1, now. There’s still not really any other games like it- build a party as balanced or imbalanced as you like, and see how they fare. I’d like to build my own game in a similar style, one day. - Re: Live Gacha games and RPG just don’t mix! Both gacha and events do not gel with core RPG mechanics of your character(s) developing in strength as the game goes. It seems impossible to balance the game well- do you cater to the whales who spend and spend until they have the strongest teams possible, meaning the free players or the terminally unlucky can’t stand a chance, or do you cater to those players and give them no reason to spend for the more powerful characters? It’s a shame, because the anime was baffling but in that enjoyable way where you just kind of go with whatever it throws at you, and exploring that in a non-freemium game with a solid beginning middle and end would be really interesting. - Tiny Thief Mobile game that’s not available any more, I think my BBLC post covered it well enough. - F-Zero One of the criticisms most commonly levied against F-Zero is that it wont hold your attention for long. While that’s true, it’s not like you have to make a purchasing decision about it any more- it comes bundled in with the other games you’re buying, so the only investment is time. Ignoring that, it’s still fun to burn around the tracks, and the sense of speed hasn’t ever diminished. The music, too, is underappreciated, with Port Town being my personal fave. - F-Zero GX I can’t believe Nintendo hasn’t done anything with this ridiculous universe for 15 years now. The cutscenes are so hilariously overwrought, and the cast of characters is huge! It could so seamlessly intersect with the Starfox universe, too. There were rumours of a Starfox Racing title some time ago, and I really hope that’s the case. It’d work so well (by which I mean, a particularly enjoyable kind of awful). Anyway, the game still plays great, Story Mode is WAY too hard, Dr Stewart’s theme is a Tune. - Stratosphere This game is from 1998! Build a flying fortress, deck it out with fortifications and weapons and power supplies, then use it to destroy other fortresses. I only ever played the demo as a kid, never got the full game. Took some cajoling to get it to work on modern hardware, but eventually I got in and it wasn’t worth it at all. Wow, that performance, apparently it was designed to run at a terrible frame rate and it wasn’t just a result of my 1998 PC not being up to the task! A shame, but I guess it put one of my ghosts to rest. - DKC 2 The best of the three SNES games, despite the inclusion (and protagonism) of Diddy Kong. Lots to love here, but the OST is top notch. - DKC 3 Not as good as 2, but IMO better than 1. There was a much heavier emphasis on gimmick levels in 3, not all of which hit their target, but does provide a great deal of variety. Consensus is that 2 is better, but if someone claimed 3 was the best DKC, I’d let them get away with it. - King Arthur’s World (SNES) Speaking of putting ghosts to rest… We somehow always managed to get this game whenever we got a SNES, and kid!Beebs most certainly didn’t have the patience for it. Adult!Beebs barely does, either. It’s a very ambitious attempt at some sort of RTS/Puzzle hybrid, somewhat comparable to Lemmings? King Arthur must make his way from his starting position to the throne elsewhere in the map to claim it as his own, using the myriad abilities of his soldiers to get him there in one piece. I decided this year that I was finally going to play through the whole damn thing, start to finish, for the first time ever. With copious use of save states and rewinds, I was finally able to slay this demon. For as fiddly and frustrating as it is, I would still say people should check it out if they have the tools to do so- there’s not really anything else like it, on SNES or otherwise; you’re guaranteed a unique experience, if nothing else. - Oscar (SNES) Terrible. - Spanky’s Quest (SNES) With a name like that, how could I refuse? It’s a weird little puzzler, aping (wahey!) Bubble Bobble and Parasol Stars a little. You’re a monkey who can blow bubbles that stun enemies, but if you bounce the bubble on your head it gets progressively larger and can be burst to send a barrage of similarly-sized sports balls at your opponents to knock them out. You know, just like real life. - Addam’s Family (SNES) This easily-dismissible movie tie-in is actually a very competent platformer with some very, very light metroidvania exploration involved. Gomez has to go through Addams Mansion and rescue the members of his family who have been kidnapped by… something. There’s hidden secrets everywhere and the family can be rescued in any order you like. Genuine recommendation. - Panel DePon/Tetris Attack The only vs puzzler I enjoy (yep. Not even puyo puyo. I know.) I played the HECK out of this in my teenage years, and got crazy good at it. Tendonitis says I’m not allowed to do that any more, but once I shook the rust off I was still pretty strong! It was released as Panel DePon in Japan and was fairy themed, but for the western release they replaced all the fairies with Yoshi characters and renamed it Tetris Attack despite having nothing to do with Tetris at all. Up to you which you prefer- language isn't too much of a barrier here. Soundtrack is killer. - Subsurface Circular Finished it before my BBLC post. Still not decided if I liked the way it ended. - Master Of Orion 2 C’mon. After playing three other pretenders to MoO2’s throne, I had to give the real deal a couple of spins too. It’s Civ 5 in space. Customisable race builds. A whole galaxy to bring peace to, by whichever means you prefer. Would love for someone else to get into it. - Touhou 8 Last minute entry I just played yesterday ‘cos I wanted some Touhou and I haven’t played this entry in a long while. A Solo Marisa Normal Final B run, if you’re interested. Kaguya beast-mode tearing apart the Spell Of Imperishable Night at the end of the game is still an awesome moment, but it’s a shame you can miss the last couple of spells if you take some unlucky hits. - And here’s the list of Bins, which are all covered in their BBLC post: No Time To Explain MoO Skyborn Jumpjet Rex StH 4 Ballistick Munch’s Oddysee Outland Project CARS RiME Magicka Waking Mars Urban Chaos Divinity: Dragon Commander Strike Suit Zero Hell Yeah! Lambda Wars Beta Stranger’s Wrath MoO 3 XCOM Lots more Fins than Bins this year! Good to see!

[abundantchewtoys]

HS Epilogues, Meat p26 reaction

Well, we unexpectedly went on a little hiatus there, in our liveblogging. It's just one of those things you got to find time for doing, you know?

So, last time in Homestuck Epilogues, Dirk was present for Rose's ascension into omniscience. Although he did state he still had a manner of control over her, and was going to do something to anchor her to her living body. So, you know, they're not on equal footing just yet, in part because Dirk hasn't relinquished control of the narration to her.

I hope the POV switches to John again, but since we just had a page from his perspective, it might be going back to Kanaya? Or Roxy, but Dirk might not want to spent more time around her "unfathomable" mind than is necessary for the plot to advance. It's not something you'd relish, as a supposedly omniscient narrator.

---

"Jade kicks her shoeless feet behind her slowly, as if she’s swimming with the current of the gravitational waves pulling her ever closer to their source." Oh! I didn't think we'd see her again, at least in the Furthest Ring. Thought the Black Hole had already swallowed her up. Though maybe as a Space player, and one with a connection to a seven-year-more-experienced version of herself located outside of canon and thus with more guaranteed conditional immortality than normal, she might be able to... resist getting thorn to pieces, as she crosses the event horizon? Unlike, presumably, every other being sucked into this thing.

"the ruby slippers are gone. She kicked them off hours ago, as if to jettison all hope of returning anywhere resembling a place she used to call home. The fond remembrance of such a place no longer has any pull on her.

Now, something else entirely is pulling her." Welp, guess the Black Hole is kind of hypnotic, ain't it? Or maybe it's Alt Calliope's strong personality.

"Believe me, I’m sympathetic to the temptation. It’s always just there, isn’t it?" To jump into the void? I don't think it's ALWAYS there for everyone Dirk, but thanks for the unique perspective into how your mind functions.

"There’s something about being alone for so long, it makes time feel like it doesn’t exist. She knows this almost better than I do." ... Yes, well, Lonely Jade did, and it seems as if she might have taken over, or melded with, Reload Jade? So yeah, her three years of isolation would indeed have given her some inkling of the feeling of loneliness that Dirk and the cherubs must have experienced, being physically alone all their life. ... Right, of course her childhood on Hellmurder Island would have also done that regardless.

"Jade also knows well enough by now that time doesn’t actually exist in a literal sense, the way we generally understand it. It’s just one aspect of many, and the complement of her own, Space. It therefore can be neutralized by the introduction of her essence. Reduced to white noise or soft light. The continuum of time is therefore demonstrably an illusion. The field of sequential moments and physical conditions that stretch on and on, resulting in the mirage of loneliness, is pure projection from disproportionate attention given to a single side of one cosmic, polar pair of ideas: time." Ah yes, aspect exposition time! To quote the swamp bender: "Time is an illusion", huh? We're going that route? Well, sure, but for most people a rather convincing one, no matter what your Aspect is. Though it would be interesting to see what "disproportionate attention" given to Space would result in... Despite a ravenous Black Hole consuming an entire realm, I guess.

"It’s my way of saying, and thereby alerting her mind to what she already knows, that this feeling of all-consuming solitude and despair haunting her since childhood—it’s in her head." Like, I can only root for Dirk in trying to save Jade from whatever Calliope has cooked up, but he's still manipulating her for his own purposes.

"The ticking of time is a little contrivance in her mind as a byproduct of imbalance, of the vast disparity between her limited self and her Ultimate Self." So, what, his past is as real to Dirk right now as his present and future?

"It lives rent free there the way Dave once did, and for this version of Jade, probably still does." Funny how that points to this still being Reload Jade more than post-canon Jade.

"Maybe Dave broke her heart a little, and he keeps doing it too, no matter how many different timelines they try out." Okay, see? This applies to post-canon Jade! It seems to swing around from moment to moment, the direction the narration points into. Though, I guess post-canon Jade might really benefit from absorbing her pre-retcon selves memories regarding her relationship with Davesprite, to assess how to go about handling Dave on Earth C.

"She slips closer to the event horizon, still making no effort to impede her descent. My persuasion skills are admittedly a little rusty. Bear with me here." So very rusty, so very unused recently. :P But yeah, she's different from Rose AND John, so he'll need a different approach.

"In my experience, there’s something about being alone that can take a person’s limited meat-engine and make it imagine that it can see beyond the confines of its own electrical processes. Make it believe that it is ascending to a place where it can see the four dimensions spread out beneath it like a set of windows." Is he... paraphrasing Jade's current mindset? Or his own, isolated on B2 Earth? Sounds also as if he's describing a medidative monk, kind of.

"Like sheet music. Like a garden, where Jade used to spend so much of her time with her hands in the earth and her head in the clouds, dreaming about flowers that bloomed in six colors and grew when she played them a song. Was that real? It’s hard to tell. But it made her happy, didn’t it?

Isn’t that what she needs now?" Ooh, so he's trying to persuade her to turn around by getting inside her head and trying to figure out what made her most happy. Being omniscient, he might just have a hard time distinguishing the important bits from the trash? He seemed to describe it in such a way, as if Jade might sometimes have been daydreaming in a way it overlapped with dreaming on Prospit! And so, she might have created a space for her dreamself that didn't stick to the confines of the dreamroom.

"Isn’t it reasonable to presume that’s the only thing capable of persuading her to slow her descent—to being invited to imagine, fake or otherwise, that which once made her happy? That which could still make her happy, if only she’d slow down, think about it, and do whatever is necessary to place herself in those surroundings again?" So, he's trying to shake her out of it by thinking happy thoughts. :P

"It’s possible that manning the other end of a suicide hotline, transmitted through pure thought in a metatextual format, may not actually be my true calling." (He actually kind of sucks at this.)

"I’m doing my goddamned best here. She just isn’t slowing down, for some incomprehensible reason." So, uh, what's stopping you from pulling a John and just, like forcefully move her thoughts to where you want them?

"Perhaps my touch is too soft. It wouldn’t be the first time." Said no one ever that ever knew you. :P

"Perhaps the limits of persuasion itself are being tested by the most powerful gravitational force to ever exist?" Now that'd be something! That a pure manifestation of an Aspect could overcome narrators of omniscient inclination.

"Or perhaps it’s true that insistence is just the more effective half of persuasion.

So I’m insisting now." Took him long enough.

"Jade Harley will not go into that hole. She does NOT want us to all to see what happens when she unsettles the spirit residing there." So Dirk also seems to be convinced she's survive? Or maybe he thinks that, adding her to the matter inside the Black Hole, would upset some kind of balance.

Basically, he's like: "No, Alice, don't go into the rabbit hole!" and "No, Dorothy, don't look behind the green curtain at the wizard residing there!"

"she does, though." OOOOOOoooooohhhhhh!!!! Battle of the narrators!

Guess Alt Calliope's eon-long isolation, coupled with her Spacey thing, gave her the same powers as Dirk's. So that answers the question whether ghosts can grow into an Ultimate Self! It has interesting implications regarding Aranea and (Vriska), for one!

"Fucking yikes.

Jade throws on the brakes. I say she does. But by now, the gravity is overwhelming. Is she even trying to resist, or is it just that it’s useless to try? I’m not... I’m not sure I can tell?" Wow, yeah, so here we see what happens when Dirk encounters another narrative force of equal or greater power. He loses the ability to discern everything. But Alt Calliope remains eerily silent, only 2 comments from her so far.

"Jade realizes, preferably before it’s too late, that this is fucking serious. She needs to turn this around. She doesn’t want this. She doesn’t want to die.

she wants to return to me." ...? Eh? Does Alt Calliope see herself as THE Self now, devouring all other beings into some sort of hivemind gestalt? Or does she refer to the time Jade (either version) spent with Calliope (either version)? Seems a bit stupid if she'd mean that. On the other hand, it might be a childish response, a desire for affection so deeply rooted into the main Calliope, that Alt Calliope during her ascension absorbed it.

"All right, I’m done messing around.

YOUR name is Jade Harley. YOU decide, right now, that you do not want to die. You resist the pull of the black hole with all your might. What would killing yourself accomplish? Sure, most of your friends are dead. But John is still looking for you. Do you want to let him down? Do you want to crush his soul? Do you have any appreciation for what he’s going through, Jade? He can take you home. To your new home, Earth C. The home I made for you, Jade. Your friends are all there, alive and well. Rose, Dave, Karkat, slutty adult Jade, Jane, Jake, Roxy, me. You wouldn’t want to disappoint them. You wouldn’t want to disappoint me, would you, Jade?" Well then!! Pffff, I didn't think a Strider could ever evocate "Stern Fatherly Disapproval" like Dad Egbert/Crocker can, but here we are. Let's just skim the implications of taking a teen Jade back to Earth C to live with adult versions of her friends, as well as Dirk's less than gentle tone here, and agree that her survival is definitely desirable, just cuz IT'S ABOUT HER, SURVIVING.

Still, you have to wonder what Dirk's ultimate plans for her are. I'm starting to doubt he'll be successful, though.

"You’re close now, to the ceiling of the cancerous deformity. Too close. Just skimming the edge of this thing’s vicious horizon." It's like he's describing the event horizon as a quantum vacuum decay, which for all we know in science, it just might be.

"You dip your toes through the place where the singularity is snapping everything apart at the seams. It’s so loud that it’s completely silent. You can already feel yourself stretched thin, distorted, pulled out with your descent elongated for all eternity." I suppose there's no one suited for pulling her out at the last second, is there? No chance for Davepeta to make a last-moment re-entry into the epilogues.

Blaperile points out something significant to me: Dirk has attributed Jade the "you"-ness factor! It would be cool to have Jade come on par with John in the epilogues, but I doubt it'll last past this page.

"When you look down, the stripes of your witchy tights go on and on for miles. Please, Jade. Don’t ever say I didn’t try to stop this.

she closes her eyes and lets go." Is... Alt Calliope going to take over the narration for a bit here, on the next page?

We have three potential candidates for taking up narration at this point - and no sight of Andrew Hussie, the author avatar, who could have been a fourth.

Welp. Now Jade's really gone. I have to wonder what this means for post-canon Jade, who fell unconscious with the sight of the Black Hole seared into her eyes. It can't have been a pleasant thing that happened to her, there. I just hope Alt Calliope hasn't taken over her body like a true puppeteer, giving Dirk a run for his money.

[mandowords]

Let’s talk about the New Mandalorians, True Mandalorians, and the Death Watch for a sec.

Before you run away because I’m about to say good things about Satine, just hear this out ok. You love the Open Seasons comics right? Everyone loves the conflict between the New Mandalorians and The Death Watch right? Well they’re very similar. Also this post is a big mix of Canon and Legends because I like both of it.

I haven’t seen it, but I’m sure someone somewhere has argued who the True Mandalorians really are, a group of Mercenary Mandos trying to revamp the old traditions into new ones, essentially following Kad Ha’rangir’s notion of progression. Or are the New Mandalorians pacifists who want to change their culture into a peaceful one. Again, following Kad Ha’rangir’s notion of progression (I’ll get into why I bring those two mando factions up together in a bit). You can argue that destroying tradition and their culture in the process of becoming a pacifist society is bad, but that isn’t what happens. There are murals all throughout Sundari that remind the people of their heritage. 

Even in the building where Satine lives in as the Duchess, there’s reminders of what the Mandalorians once were. And I’d argue that after seeing what we saw in Rebels, the Death Watch aren’t the only ones keeping tradition “alive”. We see a whole lot of other clans fighting alongside the rebels. They couldn’t have just appeared out of nowhere. Let’s take Clan Rook as an example. We see them in Rebels, but that clan has been around since the time the SWtor MMO is set in! That clan can’t just reappear out of nowhere and have a full clan behind them. There has to be Mandalorian clans behind the scenes still living their life outside of the influence of the New Mandalorians. 

Now let’s take a look at the Death Watch. They’re really into their warrior heritage, and they’ve been portrayed that way for a long time. Like a really long time. I’m sure that Clan Vizsla has been around for way long as a clan, but we’re focusing on Death Watch right now, we’ll get into Vizsla in a bit. The first time we see anything to do with the Death Watch in the timeline is in the Darth Plagueis novel which is set upto 60 years before before the battle of Yavin. And I don’t know what is said exactly so we’re going to jump to what I do know about. The Open Seasons comics. We’re shown very clearly early on that the Death Watch leader, Tor Vizsla, is a kriffing psycho. And I like to think Dave Filoni used this character to mold the personality of his descendant, Pre Vizsla. They’re both hellbent on taking down the True/New Mandalorians, but they go about it in different ways. Tor is, atleast in my eyes, a literal psycho. He’ll do anything to destroy the True Mandalorians. He even says that as his first line of dialogue. “You can’t escape me, Jaster! I’ll burn all your hiding places to the ground ans execute anyone who helps you! And when you have nowhere left to run, I’ll have your head!” He’s freaking crazy. He even follows through with what he says. He and the Death Watch hunt down Jaster Mereel and end up at the Fett farm where he beats up Jango’s dad and threatens to kill Jango himself. Keep in mind that Jango is just a kid at this point. But Pre Vizsla on the other hand is more scheming. He come up with this big plan to pose a threat from a whole lot of crime syndicates so that his group can “fight them off” to be the heroes and rule Mandalore himself, which he ends up doing for a short amount of time. They’re both still crazy Death Watch leaders, they just go about it differently.

So now let’s look at the True Mandalorians. They’re lead by Jaster Mereel and want Mandalorians to become mercenaries. But Tor and the Death Watch are really against that because it’s not what the Mandalorian people are. But wait a second? What happened thousands of years before? Oh yeah, MANDALORIANS WERE MERCENARIES. That was during the KOTOR era. So there’s another sign that Tor is just psycho and doesn’t understand what he’s talking about. But the True Mandalorians actually aren’t very “true” but neither are the Death Watch. Yes, they’re both Mandalorians, but they’re different to what Mandalorians were before their time. Mandalorians used to be warrior tribesman and women who loved their clan like a family and always worked to become stronger. The True Mandalorians want to change, they want to grow like their ancestors did, but they also want motive. They could easily live their life and be a tribe/clan and survive on their own. But there’s no REAL growth if they’re doing the same thing as their ancestors. I believe Jaster wanted the Mandalorians to change with the changing times. If they’re all one big mercenary group, they can all provide for each other like a Mandalorian clan does, but they get challenged regularly. They’re tasked with fighting people’s battles for money, so not only do they get to show off their warrior skills, but they also get some credits on the side so they can survive and become better. It’s the same, but different to what their Mandalorian ancestors did. 

Now the New Mandalorians are kind of the same. The times are changing and the time for war is over. But the Death Watch doesn’t want that. They want to fight and to be Mandalorians like their ancestors. Satine wants something NEW that will be good for her people. And what’s better than not being in danger? The New Mandalorians are the same as the True Mandalorians in the sense that they want change. The only thing that connects them is the Death Watch being against them, and I think I have a good analogy for these three factions; History repeats itself. The True Mandalorians are the same as the Mandalorians after the Mandalorian Wars. They became mercenaries. The Death Watch are the same as the Neo Crusaders. They want to fight and they’ll fight anything and anyone without any mercy and would kill a child just for standing in their way. That might be a bit harsh but Tor did threaten to kill a kid... And the Neo Crusaders were extremely violent. And the New Mandalorians are the True Mandalorians, but as I said before, they’re the same because they want change, not because of how they bring it. But the New Mandalorians don’t really fit the ‘history repeats itself’ thing because they bring a WHOLE new kind of change for the Mandalorians. 

But in the end, through other factions wanting change, the Death Watch brought change on themselves. They could have easily let it slide and be like a lot of the other Mandalorian clans that we later see in Rebels who weren’t a part of the the battle between these groups. In the end all the groups brought change, but one group was completely psycho... 

TBH I don’t really know what I was going for in this post besides a comparison between the three major groups of Mandalorians around the clone wars era. It’s messy and all over the place, but I guess my overall message is that Satine isn’t bad for wanting change like so many people complain about. I’m not going to say that the Death Watch isn’t bad because they certainly are portrayed as the bad guys in everything they’re in. But Mandalorians need change to grow, and that’s just what all three groups did. They changed.

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 22nd December 2019

It’s the special Christmas episode – or at least the climax of many – of REVIEWING THE CHARTS, where we discuss the UK Top 40 every week without fail, with a complete disregard for my deteriorating mental state. Let’s start with the top 10 and finish what is essentially season two of this show.

Top 10

I’m sure everyone knows the Christmas #1 by now. I’ll talk more about it later, I actually have a lot to say, it’s British YouTuber LadBaby’s “I Love Sausage Rolls”, debuting at #1 much like he did last year. I’ll elaborate in more detail once we reach the new arrivals section.

Steady at the runner-up spot is “Own It” by Stormzy featuring Burna Boy and Ed Sheeran, sadly pipped at the post even with the release of his sophomore album, Heavy is the Head.

At number-three, actually up one space this week, is “Before You Go” by Lewis Capaldi.

It replaces “Don’t Start Now” by Dua Lipa, down one spot to number-four.

We have our first true Christmas song in the top five this year next, as “Last Christmas” by WHAM! is up two spaces to number-five. It isn’t the first time it’s reached the top five, or even its highest placement, but I think they’ll settle for top five this year.

At number-six, we have another debut, the second of three in the top 10, and first of two for Stormzy: “Audacity”, a pre-release single from Heavy is the Head, or “Audacitiy”, as the BBC’s page, in its typical fashion, misspells horribly. It features Headie One, becoming Headie’s highest-peaking song ever, tied with “18HUNNA” featuring Dave, and fifth UK Top 40, as well as second top 10 entry. It’s Stormzy’s 20th UK Top 40 hit and also his ninth entry into the top ten.

At number-seven, we have “ROXANNE” by Arizona Zervas, down two spaces to number-seven.

Also down two spaces, surprisingly, is “All I Want for Christmas is You” by Mariah Carey, despite the release of a new music video. In reality, all of the top 10 has probably gained in performance, and Carey here was a victim of LadBaby and Stormzy.

We have Stormzy’s third and final debut here, “Lessons”, at number-nine, this time solo, which is his 21st UK Top 40 hit and his tenth entry into the top ten.

Finally, at #10, we have a nine-spot crash for “Dance Monkey” by Tones and I, hurt by streaming cuts that dumb UK chart rules implement, but also would have possibly cost LadBaby the Christmas #1, and at least his song is vaguely Christmassy, unlike “Dance Monkey”, which would have otherwise spent a consecutive twelfth week at #1 hadn’t it jumped down to #10.

Climbers

We have one non-Christmas climber this week, and it’s “Falling” by Trevor Daniel up nine spaces to #26.

Fallers

We don’t actually have many of these, either, though, but we do have a handful at the tail-end of the chart: “Heartless” by the Weeknd is definitely in freefall, down 13 spaces to #35, whilst “Don’t Rush” by Young T & Bugsey with Headie One curiously goes down seven spaces to #37 after going up seven spaces last week, “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi crashes down 11 positions to #38, and “Netflix & Chill” by Fredo collapses down 12 spots to #40.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

As always with these Christmas weeks, we have quite a few drop-outs, yet very little returning entries. Streaming cuts have dragged out “Memories” by Maroon 5 out from #10 (Thank God), and brought out two other garbage top 20 hits with it: “South of the Border” by Ed Sheeran featuring Camila Cabello and Cardi B from #13, and “Lose Control” by MEDUZA, Goodboys and Becky Hill from #18. Sadly, a pretty fantastic top 20 hit, Lizzo’s “Good as Hell” featuring Ariana Grande, is out too from #20. Also out from middling positions last week, #37 and #38 respectively, are “Down Like That” by KSI featuring Lil Baby, Rick Ross and S-X, and “Into the Unknown” by Idina Menzel and AURORA, from the Frozen II soundtrack. Oh, yeah, and “Professor X” by Dave is out from #40.

In terms of returning entries, we only have one revolving around pretty depressing circumstances. The early death of 21-year-old emo-rapper Juice WRLD, one that we have seen a lot on this show, has propelled his song “Lucid Dreams” back to #27. For what it’s worth, the song has grown on me a lot since its release, and I’ve said my peace on the matter on Twitter. Rest in peace, Jared Higgins.

There is one returning entry and one drop-out that I’ve missed, but we’ll talk about them later.

IT’S CHIRSTMAS INNIT

First of all, the non-movers, climbers and fallers: If “River” by Ellie Goulding counts, it’s down three spots to #11, but otherwise... “Fairytale of New York” by the Pogues featuring Kirsty MacColl is at #14, “Merry Christmas Everyone” by Shakin’ Stevens is at #16, “Do They Know it’s Christmas?” by Band Aid is up two to #17, “Step into Christmas” by Elton John is up six to #19, “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” by Michael Bublé is down one spot to #24, “One More Sleep” by Leona Lewis is up four to #25, “Santa Tell Me” by Ariana Grande is up three to #28, “I Wish it Could be Christmas Everyday” by Wizzard is up five to #29, “Merry Xmas Everybody” by Slade is up five to #31, “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” by Brenda Lee is at #32 and “Underneath the Tree” by Kelly Clarkson is up six to #33.

We have one Christmassy returning entry, and that is the festive albeit creepy “Santa’s Coming for Us” by Sia back at #36. Combined with the Christmassy new arrival and the songs within the top 10, that means we have within 15 to 17 holiday songs on the “Christmas chart” (More on that later). So, basically, we’re 50% Christmas here on the UK Top 40... arguably, disputably, whatever. Here are the Album Bomb(s)?

ALBUM BOMB(S)?: Heavy is the Head by Stormzy and Fine Line by Harry Styles

This is a pretty awkward album bomb as I’ve already covered most things about Stormzy in the Top 10 section and it’s really disputable if Harry Styles had an album bomb but he had one debut and one re-entry as well as a faller, all from the same album, so I’m counting that as an album bomb. Rod Stewart, however, the damned fool, didn’t get an album bomb however he got the Christmas #1 on the albums chart, trumping both UK rapper and songwriter Stormzy at #2, and former One Direction member and current rockstar Harry Styles at #3.

I haven’t heard Heavy is the Head but I’m excited to check it out. I’m weary of its length, but some of the features seem intriguing. Its impact on this chart is weakened by both UK chart rules only allowing for three songs and the fact that, well, it’s Christmas, technically. That would also explain why Harry Styles’ “Lights Up” dropped out from #33 this week, as it was the single that performed the least, whilst “Watermelon Sugar” is back at #18 and “Adore You” has dropped off one spot from its debut, landing at #12 on this chart. Before we even get to exciting new music from Stormzy, let’s cover some weaksauce garbage from Harry Styles.

#39 – “Falling” – Harry Styles

Produced by Kid Harpoon and Tyler Johnson – Peaked at #62 in the US

Aw, do I have to? Well, I’ve already said how much I disliked Styles’ sophomore record and why, back on last episode (And the last paragraph) actually, so I don’t need to bring it up again. “Falling” is Styles’ fifth UK Top 40 hit, and the third best-performing song from the album; three is all allowed from one album on the UK Top 40. Styles had an actual album bomb on the Hot 100, and this one charted decently high there too. Also, fun fact: since Trevor Daniel is still here, this marks the first time in forever that two identically-named songs with entirely different lyrics and content (I.e., aren’t covers) have charted simultaneously. Somehow, and I dread to think, the Trevor Daniel song may be better. The pianos here are reverb-heavy and saturated so much to the point where I geta feeling of drab, moist dread, which is represented in the production overall, especially when Harry Styles belts and his vocals clip pretty heavily in the mix here. The lyrics are specific and do resonate to some extent, especially the self-referential and dare I say meta second verse, and I can’t exactly say Styles’ delivery is unconvincing, despite it reminding me too much of Lewis Capaldi than it probably should – you’re a much better singer than him or this, Harry. If the production wasn’t so shoddy and it wasn’t four plodding minutes, perhaps this gross, distorted excerpt of a power ballad wouldn’t be so excruciating, but alas, here we are. Good effort, I suppose.

#9 – “Lessons” – Stormzy

Produced by Ed Thomas

I have no idea what to expect. It’s the penultimate track on the album and it’s produced by some guy I don’t know. I haven’t been this clueless about a song before hearing it on this show in months, but it’s actually pretty high here because of how it touches upon Stormzy’s personal life, specifically his relationship with television presenter Maya Jama... and I really want to like this. The song is honest and soulful, with Stormzy admitting his faults in the relationship multiple times, and I enjoy the theme of childhood that he toys around with in the verses, but it’s really vague to exactly how he “disrespected” her, and I’m not asking for a vent that details his entire relationship with Jama but it feels somewhat insincere if the closest you get to a specific memory is either having candles lit up, which is overwhelmingly common, and pacing around the kitchen after a fight, “like this s**t is foul”. Some of these rhymes are also pretty painful. Rhyming “Maya” with “Maya”, and then, “fire” with “desire”? Come on, man, you’re better than that, and there is a lack of internal rhymes or even a comprehensive flow to the whole thing. I do like the vintage R&B beat with some very 90s keys sprinkled through the fake finger-snaps, and the blocky percussion is pretty smooth, albeit too stiff to make the chorus work at all, as it’s just really odd, aimless, multi-tracked rambling, with really half-hearted singing vocals from Stormzy. I don’t know, I really want to like this, but the content is overly vague, the production is dull and uninteresting, and the performance is just the same, as he sounds like he hasn’t slept in days. Maybe that’s the point? Probably, but it doesn’t make this song any more endearing. Sorry, I really wanted to like this, so a half-decent single here sounds like the biggest disappointment, but it’s just passable at best, really.

#6 – “Audacity” – Stormzy featuring Headie One

Produced by Fraser T. Smith

This is the banger of the record, with an up-and-coming UK drill rapper, that would burst onto the chart with a wham... whilst also being right next to WHAM!, but that’s a coincidence. T. Smith is on the boards, Stormzy and Headie One are on the mic, and they sound hungry. Any time Stormzy starts off a track with that trailing “It’s like...” ad-lib, I know it’s going to be ferocious, and this is what this track is. Over looming 808 bass and crawling synths, Stormzy is losing his breath, rasping through his bars because of his insistency to do an angered one-take, like a madman, and it sounds angry and really violent. I’m genuinely kind of scared, it kind of works like Bobby Schmurda’s “Hot Boy” because its purpose is to paint such a vivid picture of gang violence that it gives you goosebumps. Stormzy is talking about inexperienced rappers dissing him... and in the first verse, he goes into detail about why he wants to kill this man, in an oddly calm demeanour before he starts losing it once he starts talking about how he’s going to “skeng-fry his dome”, even accepting the gunsmoke (Both literally and figuratively) that this person tries to use to intimidate Stormzy as just weed smoke, which sounds a lot more savage than I made it sound. Headie One is more melodic on this mix of nasty grime synths and UK drill bass beats, but his more casual delivery really makes the pretty funny bars somewhat intoxicating, especially when he says, “Knowledge is power, ask Gandhi”, which is just hilariously nonsensical... but it’s still not great. It runs way too long at four minutes, and feels pretty repetitive and like a drone by the end, especially due to lack of a true climax. Also the beat just fades out and leaves Stormzy’s isolated vocal, which is abruptly cut off by the end too, so that just sounds awkward. I wish I liked this more, but it sounds more like a weak “Wiley Flow” than the anthemic “Vossi Bop” or the pounding “Sounds of the Skeng”. I still like it, though, it’s just a fair bit duller than Stormzy’s usual offerings in this trap banger lane. Speaking of that, I listened to “Big Michael” out of curiosity and that was freaking amazing, so why didn’t that chart instead of these comparatively mediocre offerings?

One week, it’s “Blinded by Your Grace” / Next week, it’s bang you in your face!

NEW ARRIVALS

#34 –“Happy Christmas (War is Over)” – John Legend

I have no production or chart data for this one, because, guess what? It’s another Christmassy cover song released by an aging and increasingly irrelevant pop star exclusively on platforms that provide more sales and hence boost its false chart placement. I’m glad this is only a holiday thing because it’d drive me up the wall if this was done often. Legend released his Christmas album in 2018, called A Legendary Christmas, and it included many covers, including the infamous “woke” “Baby it’s Cold Outside” rendition with Kelly Clarkson on the 2019 deluxe edition. Of course, this song’s not on said deluxe edition for whatever reason... he really couldn’t just cover a nice old Christmas song, he had to do the controversial songs, huh? The whole album is really disposable garbage filled with novelty and commercialised merriment. I used to really like this guy but he is far beyond receiving my best wishes at this point in his career. Uh, the original song is a hot mess as well. Let’s just get to the meat and potatoes, no pun intended.

#1 – “I Love Sausage Rolls” – LadBaby

Produced by LadBaby

No, not DaBaby. LadBaby. Okay, so, first of all, this potentially isn’t the true “Christmas #1”, as after all, this chart was released before Christmas Day and doesn’t count sales that were made on December 25th, although the press seems to have accepted this as the Christmas #1, and have highly publicised it as such, so I’m allowing it, even though I guess you could dispute that. Second of all, LadBaby is a YouTuber who makes comedy videos or vlogs or something? I don’t know, I don’t pay attention. The video for this that they showed on Top of the Pops (Yes, this was aired on Top of the Pops) had his family in, all wearing sausage roll outfits, so maybe he’s a family vlogger? Speaking of those outfits, the same family is featured on the cover, which is a parody of the famous Abbey Road album cover by the Beatles. Not only is that not a Christmas album but it equally doesn’t work because this is a parody of a Joan Jett song, “I Love Rock and Roll”. Finally, LadBaby got to the top before with “We Built This City” in 2018, a parody of the Starship song with the exact same punchline as this one. Bottom line, this is just a novelty song with a dumb punchline and pretty terrible production, because as with all YouTube songs, it sounds cheap and very royalty-free. These guys can’t sing, especially not LadBaby himself, but it really doesn’t matter because we’re not supposed to actually listen to this. We’re supposed to listen once and have a chuckle, and move on, but sadly, this isn’t even funny enough for me to snigger. I’m not a fan, and if Tones and I’s song hadn’t crashed as hard as it did thanks to dumb UK chart rules, LadBaby would be even less liable to stick the landing next year, and I really hope he doesn’t.

Conclusion

On principle, I feel like giving a tied Worst of the Week to John Legend for his annoying exclusivity and really garbage album that “Happy Christmas (War is Over)” is connected to, alongside LadBaby, for hitting the #1 spot with a cheap novelty song in “I Love Sausage Rolls”, which is a joke he’s done before, instead of Stormzy or, you know, an actual Christmas song. In reality, I haven’t heard the John Legend song and I don’t even want to, and the LadBaby song isn’t really worth getting angry about. The Best of the Week is just as hard to pick due to the sheer lack of quality on display here, but I’ll give it to Stormzy and Headie One for “Audacity”, I guess.

I hope you guys enjoyed this second season of REVIEWING THE CHARTS – I know it was a rocky one, but we got there in the end. I can’t really say happy holidays because I’m a day or two late from Christmas but I’ll definitely say thank you for reading this past year. Follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank for more musical ramblings and I’ll see you next week – but that’ll be next season, and possibly next year.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

[blaperile]

Homestuck Epilogues - Meat - Page 22 (Epilogue 4 Page 5)

[endemictoearth]

About Town Pt. 1

LONG TIME NO FIC

Hiiiiiiii guyyyyyys, sorry! I’m not convinced I’ve kicked my funk just yet, but this prompt from @i-dream-of-emus piqued my interest, and got me to sit down and write something! It’s not done, I’ve started part 2 and sketched out where I want it to go, but I really wanted to get something out there, and this seemed like a natural pause in the story while I gathered my thoughts.

PROMPT: Rae is well-known by the staff of Town Records, and when they don’t see their most loyal customer for a couple of weeks they get worried. Some how, they find out that she’s in the psychiatric ward, and want to do something nice for her during her time there.

So, each week, a member of staff visits her at the hospital with the latest NME and Melody Maker, and the week’s new releases. Rae borrows the CDs for a week, then buys what she can afford of the ones she likes most.

And guess who is Town’s grumpiest / best-looking part-timer?

* 

I didn’t keep exactly to the brief, and some of this will show up in the second half, but it seemed to scratch the itch of “What if?” for me. (Well, half-scratch . . . still got a bit of an itch.)

Not tagging anyone, but I’ll stick it on this month’s Round-Up. Hope you like it!

* * * * * 

It often takes awhile to notice when something’s missing. Like one of those “Can you spot the differences between these pictures?” puzzles they put in to pad out the Sunday papers. At a casual glance, it all seems the same, but when you have a think and start to really look, you see what’s gone from the scene, what’s been changed.

Finn chewed his thumb nail as he restocked the magazine rack with the shipment of latest issues.

“Dave?” He shouted to be heard in the back room.

A muffled “Yeah?” floated out of the half-open door.

“Where d’ya want me to put the Melody Maker Souvenir Issue? They sent us extras!”

Dave stuck his head out from the stock area. “They probably printed too many, the wankers.” He nodded to the counter. “Stick some by the till. Maybe we can shift ‘em as an impulse purchase.”

Finn nodded, chewing on the inside of his lip, now that both hands were occupied.

After stacking a bunch neatly on the counter, he plucked a copy from the top of the pile. Dave always let him have a couple of mags a week at no charge. For no reason he could name, Finn glanced guiltily at the open door to the back and slipped a second copy into his knapsack, then sat down at the stool behind the till, humming along to Elastica playing on the in-store speakers.

Waking up and getting up has never been easy,

Oh, oh, I think you should know.

Oh, oh, I think you should go.

Make a cup of tea, and put a record on.

Saturday mornings were always slow, but Finn liked putting things right round the shop. He’d straightened out most of the sections, filled all the magazine racks, even tidied the notice board. He wasn’t the most personable employee at Town, and he knew Rob generally liked a late night of a Friday, so he didn’t mind volunteering to come in at half-eight on a Saturday, even if he ended up bored for the last hour or two of his shift.

It also meant he could visit his nan after. Normally, he’d stop over at her cottage, which was much closer to Town than his own house, but she’d had to go into hospital for some routine tests earlier in the week, and they’d kept her over, saying they wanted to monitor some levels or something. It didn’t sound good, but they kept telling her not to worry, which she in turn told Finn, but his nails looked even more of a state than usual.

He was gnawing on another cuticle when Rob rocked up through the front door, looking rough but resigned to a full day of work.

He nodded at Finn, who nodded back, and then shoved the door to the back wide open as he went to deposit his stuff in his locker.

Finn didn’t have a locker, as he only worked about ten hours a week. His eyes flitted to the clock, and he was surprised to note that Rob had come in early. It wasn’t yet noon, and Finn was supposed to leave at one. Usually, they were ships passing.

Finn looked down at the cover of the Melody Maker special, the Brothers Gallagher staring deadpan back at him. The song changed over on the stereo system, and he could hear the clock tick a few seconds in the silence before Morning Glory (ironically) started up.

There were no customers in the shop, hadn’t been for most of the morning, but suddenly and unaccountably, it made Finn feel nervous, restless. He’d felt it was quiet for the past few weeks, really. It was like he was living the same Saturday over and over each week, waiting for . . . something.

Rob came out and plopped down next to Finn behind the counter, sighing.

“Y’alright?” Finn asked.

“Good as can be expected.”

Finn nodded.

“You?” Rob asked back.

Finn shrugged.

“Eh?”

Finn sighed now. Rob was a decent sort, and there wasn’t anyone else about. “Me nan’s ill. Well, maybe not, but she’s in the hospital for a bit, I guess to make sure she’s not? Anyway.”

“Hey, that’s shite. Sorry to hear it. Hope she’s okay, yeah?”

“Thanks.” Finn shifted on his stool, still restless. “This place has been dead. Deader’n usual, even.”

“I know. Haven’t even seen that girl, you know the one, is it Mae?, come in recently. Have you seen her?” Rob asked offhand.

Finn froze. “Rae,” he whispered. That was it.

He’d kept having these weird half-thoughts, just glimpses flitting across his mind, of a figure with long dark hair, moving around the shop. But they’d been so fleeting, so transitory, he hadn’t been able to put his finger on it.

She rarely spoke to anyone, just sort of appeared, usually around noon of a Saturday, this sort of time. Sometimes he’d see her in the late afternoon during one of his mid-week post-college shifts, but she’d been a fixture on Saturdays until recently.

He furrowed his brow. “Yeah . . . I mean, no. It’s been a few weeks, at least. Wonder what’s happened to her.” As soon as he said it, he realized he hoped nothing had happened to her. That she just decided to spend her Saturdays somewhere else, or was out of town, even moved. Though, he didn’t really hope that last one.

*

She didn’t buy much, but when she did, it was something good. Something he could tell she’d thought long and hard about, having saved and researched and listened to as many tracks as she could before committing to it.

He distinctly remembered her being near the front of the queue for the new Oasis on release day back in October, though. He’d asked his dad if he could bunk off and work, so he could get his hands on his copy first thing in the morning, before the shop opened to the public.

“Remember when that last Status Quo album come out?” he asked, eyes pleading his case. “You moved your morning meeting so’s you could get it first thing.”

His dad had rolled his eyes but relented, as long as Finn promised to take the bins out for a month without his usual whinging.

And when he turned up at the shop, there was actually a line down to the chemist’s a few doors away. He’d felt special, being able to walk past the crowd and wave to Dave inside, who came over to let him in early. “Not your usual release day, eh?”

Dave grunted. “I noticed you pre-ordered one, too. You can have your pick of the discs, as long as you’re quick about it. I’ll have to let this lot in soon, or risk the wrath of Mr. Singh next door. They’re blocking his entrance.”

Finn ducked his head behind the counter and saw nearly a hundred CDs in neat stacks. Logically, he knew they were all the same, but he wanted the best one. He randomly picked the third one from the top of the second pile, inspecting the case for damage, the wrapper for tampering. It looked good--pristine, even. He slipped it in one of the paper bags by the till and put it in his own bag, in a pocket all by itself.

Even now, months later, he could remember that feeling of satisfaction after so much anticipation. Before he’d even listened to anything but the two songs released for the radio, simply possessing it—the mere possibility of how much he might like it--had been tantalizing.

He wasn’t precisely sure why his brain was hashing over that day on this day, until the memory expanded to seeing her, Rae, come in with her eyes shining and cheeks flushed from waiting in the morning chill for more than an hour. He remembered noticing her uniform, which he’d never seen her in before. She looked like she felt uncomfortable in it, but possibly a little less uncomfortable than normal, since she was getting to pick up this album.

Dave was running the till; Finn was bagging the CDs. It only took them about half an hour to get through the line, but the moment when Rae was at the counter seemed . . . well, memorable. After all, here he was, remembering it.

“Yours was the third name on my list for this, love,” Dave chided Rae as he took her bills and made change.

“Yeah?” she asked, “Who was ahead of me, then?” She was in a good mood, all smiles. Finn couldn’t remember ever seeing her smile that big.

“Just this one,” he hoiked a thumb in Finn’s direction, “And Rob, of course.”

Rae turned to look at Finn, probably reflexively, and their eyes met. “Felt like today’d never come, eh? Been waiting for this for months.”

That might have been the first time she’d spoken to Finn without him speaking first. And the only time he’d initiated conversation was likely to be part of a transaction.

Finn nodded. “I know! It seems like I’ve been waiting forever, but their first album only came out last August.”

Her lips closed over her teeth, but she was still smiling. Then she said, “Hard to believe—feels like I’ve had those songs in me head for years.”

It was his turn to smile. How was it he could remember this moment so clearly?

That was when the moment ended, however. The man behind Rae cleared his throat in irritation. “Could you two hurry it up?”

The smile fell from Rae’s mouth; Finn handed her the bag with her new music and, as she turned, he said, “Hey, lemme know what you think of it, yeah?”

The corners of her mouth lifted a fraction and he would have sworn she nodded as she turned to leave.

*

He’d known something was missing; how could he have not realized?

He supposed she had always just been there, in the background of the shop, quietly . . . existing. He was intrigued by her, sure, but she seemed pretty private, and he wasn’t one to press anyone. He was more of a hang back and let them come to him sort of bloke. She seemed cool, and he liked to idly speculate about her, but that had been good enough.

Rob sighed. “It is bloody dead in here, isn’t it?”

Finn nodded, feeling a little disoriented. It was, but he was wrapped up in wondering.

“You can leave early, if you want. I’m here now, and there’s no reason for the both of us to be bored senseless.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, escape while you can. Go see your nan.”

“Thanks, Rob. Have a good one—hope business picks up.”

Rob smiled. “Usually does.”

Finn shrugged on his jacket and slung his bag across his chest, then waved to Rob as he headed out.

His walk to the hospital was fairly short, and he was so distracted by thoughts that it seemed like he arrived in less than a minute. 

He started to walk down the hall to the nurses’ station to check in, when he saw a flash of long dark hair down the corridor off to his right. His head turned instinctively, and there she was, like he’d conjured her with his jumbled thoughts. She was standing next to a younger girl, head bent down to listen to the girl whisper in her ear.

When the girl was done, Rae straightened up, flipping her hair over her shoulder as she did. The hallway was dim, but for the spot they were standing in, an open door let the light from the courtyard windows in, and the light played across the sweep of her hair.

He was staring at her, mouth open, when she spotted him. He watched as she went from noticing him as a presence, then as a person, to the second she recognized him. Her shoulders hunched up, and she looked down immediately, as if not looking at him could make him not see her.

She didn’t last long before glancing up to make sure. He held up a hand in greeting, and she nodded. Her little friend looked up at her, her expression bordering on incredulous, before shoving Rae in the small of her back to propel her towards him.

Rae shot the girl a dirty look before dragging her feet down the hall.

As she approached, he began to smile. He was glad to see her, see she was . . . well, she might not be okay, as she was in hospital, and he could see her tag despite her long sleeves. But she was here.

“Hiya!” he said, brightly, his usually mumble gone for once. “Funny running into you, we were just wondering about you at the shop.”

Her eyes flew to meet his. “What? Why?”

���Well, we just . . . hadn’t seen you in a while. Sort of got used to you coming in every week. Saturday mornings are pretty boring without you.”

The expression on her face was impressive, but still hard to read. “Really?”

“Well . . . yeah. Sometimes you were the only customer I’d see before noon.”

She scoffed under her breath, and half smiled to herself. Then, suddenly, asked, “What’re you doing here?”

“Oh, visiting me nan. She’s . . . they’re observing her. For, like, levels, or summat.”

Rae nodded, like she understood. “Sorry to hear it. I won’t keep you. Nice to . . . I mean, thanks, or . . . whatever.”

She turned to walk away, and Finn found himself protesting. Out loud. “You’re not keeping me. I’m early this week. It were so dead, Rob said I could leave before one. I—“  

Rae pivoted cautiously to look at him while he floundered.

It was then he remembered the extra copy of Melody Maker. “Oh, hey! Do you, I mean, is it alright if I . . .” He fumbled with the clasps on the front of his bag. “I just happen to have an extra of this week’s . . .” He held it out to her, hopeful. “If you want it, that is. It’s a special edition, that’s why I grabbed an extra.”

Her eyes widened, then narrowed in suspicion for a split second. “You sure? It’s not for someone else?”

“No!” Why had he practically shouted that? “No, sorry. I just . . . grabbed two instead of one. I can always get another; they sent us loads.”

She turned to fully face him, but snuck a glance over her shoulder at her little friend, who was grinning down the hall at them.

“Well, thanks, then. I’ve been starved for news of these two for weeks now.” She gestured to the brothers on the cover.

Finn grinned. “They’re still the same old arseholes, far as I know.”

“Arseholes who can make some bloody great music.” Rae smiled back, holding the magazine close to her chest, like it was something precious.

“It’s good to see you, Rae,” Finn said. “Hope we’ll see you at the shop soon.”

Her eyes softened at that, and she nodded faintly. “Yeah, hopefully.”

He wanted to ask her why she was there, what was going on, but he had no right, and from the little he knew her, he knew she wouldn’t want him to pry.

He waved again; this time in farewell.

When he got to his nan’s room, he still had a smile lingering on his lips.

“You’re happy about something,” his nan teased, before he even saw her.

He dipped his head, shaking it in denial, but said, “Well, yeah, happy to see you!”

She gave him a knowing look, but didn’t question him, just held her thin arms out for a hug.

[edenfalling]

Ooh! Homestuck, Dirk, Roxy, cuddle. It's the post-Sburb world, and there are too many people all the time, and only Dirk and Roxy want to flee screaming to a (pair of) faraway mountains. Bring back the blissful solitude of the post-apocalypse.

Notcompliant with the credits snapchats, because reasons. :) [2,700 words] 

---------------------------------------------Some Little Talk aWhile of Me and Thee--------------------------------------------- 

The stupid part is, up until that one moment, Roxy washaving a really good night. All her friends (except Dirk, who hung grimly onthrough dinner and absconded immediately thereafter) together in one room, enoughdinner for everyone to eat their fill and then dessert on top of that, thepleasant ache of an honest day's work building the infrastructure of their newworld... yeah. A good night. 

Except the thing is, as much as she needs people -- and sheneeds people a lot, needs that feedback loop of attention paid and returned --there's a big difference between hanging out online and hanging out with adozen people jammed together in a single room. And she hasn't been gettingalone time during the days either, always busy working with a crew ofcarapacians (who at least are quiet) and consorts (who are emphatically not). 

Roxy doesn't notice the slow buildup of stress, but she canpinpoint exactly when the night tips from I-can-manage to oh-god-make-it-stop. 

She's been kibitzing on the edges of Rose, John, and Jane'smeal planning session (defusing any baby disagreements before they grow intoanything serious), keeping half an ear on the Pictionary session Callie,Kanaya, and Terezi have going in the far corner, and watching Jade gleefullyannihilate Dave and Karkat at Mario Kart. It's maybe a little bit much to betracking all at once, but the satisfaction outweighs the strain until Davethrows a piece of popcorn at Jade, who teleports it into the tangle of Karkat'shair, who draws breath in preparation for an inside-voice-what-inside-voicerant, and Roxy is abruptly and completely done.Zip, zilch, finito, cutlery shop's closed up and all the merchandise is gone. 

She shoves herself up from the warm and squashy armchair shestaked out as her private territory back when they first built this grouphouse, and says to nobody in particular: "I'm gonna go check on Dirk, it'sbeen a while since he noped out and I want to make sure he hasn't broken his neckor started a robot apocalypse in his sleep." 

Rose and Jane break off their debate over the relativemerits of fish tacos and sushi to give her a pair of sharp glances. John justlooks adorkably confused. 

Roxy dredges up a smile from her last reserves of sociability. 

It must not be very convincing, because Rose frowns andtenses like she's going to ask if Roxy needs any help, or maybe even stand upand give her a hug. Her concern is like a warm mug of hot chocolate, but thething about warm mugs of hot chocolate is they're awesome on a frigid winterday after messing around in the snow for a couple hours, but this specific timeand place are more like a metaphorical scorching summer day when you're alreadysugared out and anything sweet makes you want to gag. In other words, amomdaughter's loving attention is nice in theory, but it's not conducive tonoping the fuck out of the room, not to mention if anyone touches her rightnow, Roxy might actually break down and scream. 

Fortunately, Jane rescues her. 

She does something to Rose -- elbows her? kicks her underthe coffee table? hard to say -- and while Rose is busy trying to regather hertrain of thought, Jane grins at Roxy, somehow managing to make the expressionboth obviously fake and equally obviously made of 24-carat solid goldsincerity. 

"That sounds like an excellent plan!" she says."When you find him, tell him that Jade needs to run the latest plans forthe electricity grid past him, particularly the battery storage systems forevening the solar and wind outputs. I think the files are in the civilengineering dropbox account, so he shouldn't need to ask her for anything untilhe's finished reviewing and annotating them." 

Roxy nods. 

"Well, what are you waiting for? Scram!" Janemakes little shooing motions with her hands. 

Rose, apparently catching on to Roxy's actual state of mind,smiles benevolently and waves goodbye. "Au revoir," she says in herperpetually dry tone. "If anyone asks where you are, I'll tell them I sentyou to give daddy dearest my love, perhaps in the form of seagull pie." 

Jane rolls her eyes. John snickers and sticks out his tonguein mostly mock-disgust. 

"Thanks, guys," Roxy manages to say, and flees. 

--------------- 

After a indeterminate period of time trying not tohyperventilate in her en suite bathroom, she sits cross-legged on her bed andwonders if she ought to make good on her escape excuse. 

Dirk's even worse with large groups than Roxy is and doesn'tmake any attempt to pretend otherwise, but he's still human (no matter how muchhe sometimes dislikes that fact) and even the most introverted human is, atbase, a social animal. And not all contact has to be as overwhelming as groupevents. 

Roxy pulls out her phone, briefly contemplates calling him,then tosses that plan right the fuck out the window. Voices are bullshit. Textis their mutual mother tongue, and she'd bet at least half a baby universe Dirkisn't up for vocalizing right now. 

-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified[TT] -- 

TG: the thing nobody ever tells you about other people ishow fuckin NOISY they areTG: amiright?TG: i never thought id say this, but i miss ourpost-apocalyptic disaster zoneTG: not like, the looming threat of the batterwitch n shit,but the quietTG: maybe even some of the survivalist stuffTG: rose and the crockerberts gave me the weirdest look wheni said we should make seagull pie for our next movie night extravaganzaTG: there is GOOD EATING on seagullsTG: and they make a nice change from fish you know?TG: i thought id finally gotten away from descaling fishwhen we ditched sea hitlers water hellscape, but nopeTG: here we are back to fish for every meal that doesnt comestraight from our alchemiters and dwindling stocks of gristTG: (its ok you dont have to talk back if you dont want to)TG: (i just wanted to bitch to someone who gets it)TT: It's cool.TT: I know exactlywhat you mean about the quiet.TT: If you're game toendure the ultra minimum of human contact, i.e., breathing within the samecubic meter of air, I'm on the roof by the south chimney.TT: If not, I can seethe dock and it's currently unoccupied.TT: Assuming this isa day when the incessant susurrus of waves will invoke positive memories ratherthan negative ones, that could make a decent temporary retreat.TG: awww, ur a sweetie, sitting watch over our friends likea depressed gargoyleTG: on due consideration im ok with breathing your grosspre-breathed airTG: maybe if we get really daring we can work up to touchingpinky fingers!TG: le gaspTT: Scandalous. What will the neighbors say?TT: But I'm down forperversion if you are, Ms. Lalonde.TG: k hang onto your panties, im coming up 

-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified[TT] -- 

--------------- 

Roxy scrambles over the edge of the roof (she could justfly, of course, but where's the fun in that?) to find Dirk not just near thesouth chimney but actually curled up in the angle where it meets the solartiles, using the heat radiating from the bricks to counter the early autumnchill. He has his shades off in deference to the darkness, but his eyes are closedinstead of aimed up toward the frankly gorgeous light of the pink and whitemoons, both approaching full tonight. 

Roxy flops back against the dark tiles of the roof, armsspread wide, and watches the moons flirt with thin veils of cloud. Her friends'voices drift out of the open windows downstairs, but distance and the ambientsounds of wind and wave blur them into a companionable sort of white noise. Theconsorts' various weekend parties are louder, but further away; noticeable onlywhen a line or two of song finds a favorable breeze or a new branch tossed on abonfire sends a gust of sparks above the trees and roofs of the slowly growingtown. 

The carapacians' celebrations, of course, make no sound. 

She and Dirk breathe in companionable silence for nearly anhour, while the white moon travels fifteen degrees toward zenith and the pinkmoon nearly twenty degrees in the same direction, edging toward partialeclipse. Roxy's still kind of giddy over the orbital mechanics of a three-bodysystem, and the difference two moons make in the rhythm of the tides. It couldtake years to work the changes into her bones. 

She has years tospend on things like that. She spent her whole childhood isolated and trappedunder an incessant, shadowy weight. Now it's gone. She's free. She's not aloneanymore. 

It would be nice if she were better at coping with thatchange. 

Beside her, Dirk sighs, pulls his legs up to his chest, andrests his face between his knees. Something's gone cockeyed in his head again,and if nobody interrupts him he'll just debate himself into knots and grandiose'for your own good' bullshit stunts. 

And hey, an hour of silence isn't enough to get Roxyanywhere near ready to face a crowd, but it's more than enough to talk to heroldest friend. 

"The dumbest thing," she says, jumping straight inbecause what's the sense in wasting mouth noises on irrelevancies, "isthat weekend movie nights aren't even party-parties,nothing loud or crazy intense. It's just all our best friends hanging out oncomfy sofas playing goofy sleepover games, but stupid me got so wound up I hadto run screaming into the night. Otherwise I would've lost my shit at them overfish tacos and a popcorn fight, and that's just wrong with a capital R." 

"Capital W," Dirk mutters, uncurling slightly andtilting his head until a sliver of orange iris is visible over the edge of hisright knee. 

"Pedant," Roxy says, rather than draw attention tohis temporary lack of shades. "I just keep thinking, it shouldn't bug meso much. You've got a perfect excuse to flip out at extended socialinteractions, mister raised-by-robots. I actually had real live neighbors. Ishould be over this by now." 

Dirk shrugs, which looks incredibly doofy when he's allcurled up like a pill bug. "As people keep telling me, brains aren'tparticularly logical organs. Besides, there's a pretty big difference betweensign language and a dozen plus people with actual vocal cords, some of whomhave a tragically shaky grasp of appropriate volume control." 

"Ha. Yeah. Still." 

"Still," Dirk agrees. 

Roxy spreads her arms wide, staring up at the moons and theas-yet-unnamed constellations of their new universe, galaxy, solar system.Their new sun's a little brighter than Sol used to be -- a little smaller inthe sky, a little more pure-white than yellow-white -- and more like Alternia'ssun in its position vis-à-vis galactic center, which makes for some amazinglydense and brilliant starscapes. And she's saying this as a person who grew upwith no artificial light to blank out old Earth's night skies. 

"Humans made the trolls' signs into constellationswithout any outside influence, just the shape of the universe orsomething," she muses. "I wonder if it's cheating to design ourconstellations ourselves." 

Dirk shrugs again, a faint movement of shadow against darkershadow in the corner of her vision. "All our sessions were fucked from thestart; we had to cheat just to get out alive. What's a little more cheatingcompared to that? Ethical qualms aside, I'm pretty sure this planet isn't goingto be the focus of any future Sburb sessions. That dubious honor goes to the billionsof native planets kicking around this universe. If anyone's getting gentlymanipulated into using three-eyed cats and purple horrorterrors as part oftheir star myths, it's all those statistically inevitable aliens out there inthe wild black yonder." 

"I bet their myths kick ass," Roxy says. 

"I believe that's more or less implicit in thedefinition of the word. I'm not sure what they'll make of a hat or an LPrecord, though," Dirk says. 

This time it's Roxy's turn to shrug. "Old-schoolD&D monsters, maybe? Or no, ten gets you one they'll go with crows andseagulls instead." She pauses, reconsiders. "Then again, Terezi'ssymbol is basically a giant lab tool with a shit-ton of cultural baggage, andKarkat's is kind of like, handcuffs, right? Maybe hats wind up as a symbol ofintellect and general badassery -- oh! or artificial life, like Frosty theSnowman's magic hat, 'cause of your robots and puppets thing -- and recordssymbolize creativity and art and stuff." 

"Hats as a symbol of hubris and overreach, morelikely," Dirk mutters. 

Roxy wriggles sideways until she's just close enough toflick the fingertips of her left hand against the side of his shoe. "Knockit off, dumbass. Nobody gets to badmouth my best friend -- not even my bestfriend." 

Dirk unburies his face and meets Roxy's eyes straight on,one eyebrow raised. "I was under the impression that that title belongedto either Jane or Calliope. When did I inherit the position, and why was I notpreviously informed of this change in status? Are you sure you're followingfriend protocol correctly?" 

Roxy flicks his shoe again. "Friendship is a bigcategory! You're all, like, different instantiations of the concept of 'bestfriend' -- Callie's my squee and kissing partner, Janey's my partner in crime,Rosie's my sister, Jake's my goofing off friend, Dave's my surrealism feedbackdude, John's my maybe-kinda-sorta other kissing partner, and so on and soforth. You, Dirk Strider, are theperson who knows me best in two and a half entire fucking universes. Okay?You're the one who knows what it's like. If I ever run off to be a hermit on amountaintop, I want you to come be a hermit on the mountain next door. We cansend heliograph messages back and forth, or learn how to yodel and shit, andonce a month we'll get together and have a wild and crazy hermit party, justthe two of us. That's the kind of best friend you are for me." 

Dirk is silent for a long moment. Then he unwraps his righthand from his legs and lets it drop downward until his fingertips are justbrushing the soft, ticklish (completely un-carapacian) skin of Roxy's leftwrist, right over the veins carrying blood back to her heart. 

"All that, back at you," he says. 

Roxy blinks back a sudden rush of tears, and laces theirfingers together. Dirk lets her. 

"Jade has some electric grid plans for you to lookover," she says after a minute. "You can do that anywhere,right?" 

"Yeah," Dirk says. 

"Then come seagull hunting with me tomorrow. Just the twoof us, out on the water. Like old times. I have a harpoon gun I've been wantingto try out, and we can tell anyone who complains that we're taking soundingsand stuff for potential tidal generators. Hell, we can even actually do that.But I miss you. I keep getting tangled up in everyone else and losing sight ofus." 

Dirk squeezes her fingers. From him, it's as good as a hug. 

"Yeah," he says. "It's a plan." 

Roxy looks up at the night sky rather than try to put heremotions into words. There's a patch that looks a bit like a cat with wings, ifshe squints and takes some heavy artistic license. She holds up her phone inher right hand and adjusts the camera settings until she can snap a usefulpicture. She'll photoshop the constellation in later tonight and show it toDirk tomorrow: their friendship, immortalized in stars. 

"Cool," she says. 

They watch the pink moon overtake the white one in silence,fingers still entwined, the same air pumping in and out of their lungs. 

--------------------------------------------- 

End of Fic 

--------------------------------------------- 

It's still a little disjointed, I think, but whatever. Iwin. \o/

[flauntpage]

The Weal Deal

Going into the 2018 offseason, Flyers forward Jordan Weal was considered by many to be a frontrunner for the vacant 3C position behind Sean Couturier and former #2 overall pick Nolan Patrick. As training camp unfolded, Weal found himself being supplanted by a somewhat surprisingly strong stretch of play by Mikhail Vorobyev. Fast forward to the regular season and Weal was a healthy scratch in three of the first five games, including two straight to start the season. It seemed inconceivable that coach Dave Hakstol would turn to Weal with the game on the line. That’s exactly what he did. Following a 6-5 shootout victory over the Florida Panthers – the team’s first home win – there were plenty of questions centered around the second line center, notably the decision to make Weal the third shooter:

Crossing Broad: When you make the decision to use [Weal] in the shootout, is that decision based on how the game is going, or is that something you’ve though out in advance?

Hakstol: A little bit of both. If you remember, Jordan had a great stretch for us last year where he was our first shooter. He was really effective, then he went cold. He struggled a little bit after that. He was a guy that coming into the game was in my top 4. As the game goes on, we made the final decision. I knew who 1 and 2 were gonna be coming into tonight. Like I said, I had a top 4, he was in that top 4. It seemed like an obvious decision to me as we got to that three spot.

So what was Weal thinking on that play? When asked if he had a pre-determined move, he said, “[It’s] Not every day you see the opposite hand goaltender there, so, I’ve always wanted to be lefty, so I thought I’d try something that only lefties can do on the regular guys and Jake’s move is so effective when he comes down with speed. Just sneaks it in under the stick there, so I thought I’d give it a try… I’ve done it in the past, but every time Jake does it, I love it. It only works when you’re coming down on the blocker side. I thought I’d give it a go.”

NOT TODAY, CATS.

Weal wins it in the shootout! pic.twitter.com/cy64mVHtH0

— NBC Sports Philadelphia (@NBCSPhilly) October 17, 2018

There was a belief that Weal’s confidence in the shootout could’ve had something to do with him netting his first goal of the season. Another reporter asked if the fist pump after his regulation goal was an expression of some relief. “Yeah,” he said, ” it was just a bunch of hard work again by our line. We’ve been on the same page getting pucks and going to work, playing below the the goalline.”

Confidence was a common theme in exchanges with his coach:

Reporter: Ron [Hextall] has talked about Jordan Weal as being a guy who gets in his own head. Did he need a game like tonight or do you think the confidence was there?

Hakstol: I think he had that game two nights ago where he felt good. He didn’t have the numbers to show for it like he did tonight. But that game came Saturday afternoon. He played very well, his line played very well. The challenge for him was to come out and do that again tonight. That line did exactly that. They went out and played a hell of a game. Jordan, give him alot of credit, I believe he played really well tonight. Not just offesnively because there’s some numbers behind his name. I thought he was good in the faceoff dot in our defensive zone. He knew what he was doing if he won a draw, lost a draw, and I thought through the game his coverage was good. Pretty complete game.

Captain:

Reporter: This was Jordan Weal’s probably best game in a long time. Can you talk about what he did tonight?

Giroux: He played well. He’s very good in 1-on-1 battles. He hardly loses a battle for his size, it’s very impresseive. He’s a guy who works hard on and off the ice. Good for him.

And himself:

Reporter: Can a game like this give you confidence?

Weal: Yeah, I think so for myself I kind of gain confidence through a week of practice, making plays in practice, it extends into games and it keeps building for me. It’s not just one thing that happens and you gain confidence, it happens over time with repetition and work ethic.

Perhaps the most telling exchanges happened in a small media scrum in the locker room. When asked if this is the most confident he’s been since joining the Flyers, he stated, “Not really, I think it’s just an accumulation of working throughout training camp, playing center. Getting a good chance in camp to show what I got. Played a couple games at wing in between. Felt good to get back. Even accumulating from the Vegas game, I thought our line had a solid game. We just kept building off that in practice and then today as well… I’m just trying to make plays, especially in the middle of the ice, I know how to find space and create time and space for myself in the middle and create opportunities for my wingers.”

I asked Weal if there was anything specific that Travis Konecny and Oskar Lindblom are doing on the ice that’s freed him up. He responded,  “I think we’re just getting a chance to play and I think we’re taking advantage of those chances. We’re playing solid in the D zone and when we play solid in the D zone, we’re getting the Puck back quick and we’re spending time in the O zone. I think that’s the biggest thing for us. I think if we continue to do that, and keep working hard in the D zone and outworking [the opposition] in the D zone, that’ll create offense for us.”

Weal’s story is one that screams of a blue-collar worker. After being held out of multiple games to start the season, he’s made the most of his opportunity. Perhaps most impressively, he did it in a shootout – the bane of this team’s existence – and delivered the team’s first victory with the game on his stick. More importantly, he provided Philly fans with a bright moment to the night before the Sixers crapped all over it.

He’s also a pretty funny guy. Anthony and I interviewed him last month on Snow the Goalie. He gave us some great insight on the responsibilities of a center and winger, as well as growing up in Vancouver. He also shared a story of the shenanigans that occurred in the stands as part of a Calder Cup Final game. Anthony and I will be back with a new episode this week, but in the meantime check out our interview with Tuesday night’s hero.

Please subscribe to the show ([iTunes] [Google Play] [Stitcher] [RSS]), leave a 5 star review, and follow us on Twitter:@AntSanPhilly @JoyOnBroad

The post The Weal Deal appeared first on Crossing Broad.

The Weal Deal published first on https://footballhighlightseurope.tumblr.com/

[abundantchewtoys]

HS Map update

Holy shit, the Homestuck map was updated!! It's been 48 years! Finally!

Blaperile and I agree that the Masterpiece is probably going to be called just that. Maybe in Caliborn's all caps quirk, too.

And I think A6A6A2 might be called "LAND OF SOMEONE'S HANDIWORK I TOOK", heheh.

The rest remains to be seen. Will the Credits be shown separately? I think so. Would Act 7 just be called "ACT 7", or like Blaperile thinks have the sub title "Thanks for playing"? Maybe it will be "The Ultimate Reward"!

Also, I highly doubt it, but it would be neat if the Snapchat updates got their own section.

I also wonder what colour Act 6 Act 6 and Act 7 will be given, since they're on a separate "cartridge" than the previous parts of Homestuck. (Maybe the Credits will be on their own, seeing as their "container" is not a game or CD anymore, but rather a smartphone.)

Lastly, I wonder if each of the "sections" under Act 6 Act 6 Intermission 4 will be from a separate point in the timeline that John jumps too.

For that matter, I wonder if the big Retcon is perhaps designated in a special manner, too? Unlike the Critical Moment or the claiming of the Ultimate Reward, it isn't a separate flash, but it is however the final part of a sub component of the story.

----

Ah come on, Andrew added a designation/sub division for the Pre- and Post-Scratch timelines! Heh, two sides of a fourth wall. Why not an unscratched disc and a scratched one, though? Okay, granted, that's already in use for the "Discs" of Homestuck. So that seems to support my theory that the Pre- and Post-Retcon timelines might be designated differently too? Maybe "Side 3", heh. (Also, I don't think the sides are about the children being inside and then later escaping the story, since it's the fourth wall that John and Jade broke through being used as the logo, not the white endgame house.)

Ah, yup, Act 6 marks Side 2. Heh, it seems like such a small hole they made in the pane, come to think of it. I'd forgotten about the "split Act_6" command above Act 6 Act 1. What's it going to be for Act 6 Act 6, then? "Shatter", perhaps? The kids were once again scattered, isolated on their separate planets, by both the glitches and the Condesce's mindcontrolled drones Jane and Jade.

It marked Caliborn's attempt at turning the whole story in a game of pool, in that manner, you know. I... made that observation before on Tumblr in the past.

Part 3 of Homestuck starts together with Act 6. I suppose this means Act 6 Act 6 will be contained within Part 4 together with the conclusion of the story.

Pfff, looking back at the icons of the sequences, I forgot the start and end of the Jailbreak section were marked by quasi-identical images like that.

Blaperile poses a good question, what would the pseudo-symbols for the Act 6 Act 6 subacts be? Maybe just Caliborn's head each time, like what was shown in the manual for the A6A6A6 cartridge, heheh.

I knew it! Part 3 and Disc 2 both end with A6I5. (And Side 2 continues.)

Don't you just love that even grouping the fractal act structure is made into something confusing by Andrew, using Parts and Discs and Sides? Heheheheh. Oh, right. "Sides". Like sides A and B of a record. Or a disc, you could say. But in this case, there are more discs than sides, pfffff.

Another good question by Blaperile, which symbols will be placed underneath Part 4? Mayb the god tier symbols of the kids + symbols of the surviving trolls? But then, Vriska wouldn't be featured. Hmm... Tough matter. Also, what the name for the next "disc" might be is also up for speculation. (Before we scroll further down on the page and read it.) Disc 3 is inaccurate but least confusing. Cartridge 1 would be most accurate but lame. Let's settle for Cartridge 3. :P

Ooooh, split Act_6_Act6 it is! Hah, okay, and it uses Caliborn's theme colour! Oh yeah... That's right, it's because that was also the colour of the shitty curtains he used, that never stopped being a thing.

Oooooh, part 4 is designated by Caliborn's and Alt Calliope's filled cheek swirls. That's actually really fitting, given the theme of predomination at play. I hadn't thought of that. Heh, okay, as I should've seen coming, A6A6A1's title is "Homosuck". And for some reason, not one but TWO cheek swirls are used as the pseudosymbol.

So, the cartridge art is not the art for the sub act, but for the last sequence, and it's Caliborn's gloating pose instead. Fitting too.

Oooh, what's that? A6A6A1 wasn't part of a disc, but after the cartridge gets inserted, we get a new designator...

What would the name for A6A6I1 be, last guess?

... "Stardust". That's a less direct reference to the glitches than I would've thought. ... Instead of just Cartridge it says "Supercartridge", pffffff. That's probably the name used in the manual. Putting Grimbark Jade on the cover really sells the events in the sub intermission, by the way.

So, will the line for the Supercartridge perhaps not end with Act 7, but instead A6A6I4? When John blows it out of the slot? :) ... Wait, no, Blaperile reminds me Lil Seb put the thing back. (Where it came from.)

Perfectly chosen symbols for A6A6I1 sequences, by the way.

... Oh god yes. The acronym's not even spelled out, but A6A6A2 is named after LOSHIT. Called it!

That pseudosymbol though. Perfection. And indeed, once more a unique symbol.

Ahahahah, it's fitting this sub act has so many Johnfaces to go with it. (Matching icons for you and your squad.)

A6A6I2 = "theres problems" Ooooooh, yeah! Those are actually indeed the arc words to go with this sub act, with all the events leading up to the next intermission (which starts with [S] Game Over), like everyone meeting up on LOFAF.

Looking further ahead, I think Lord English's face (specifically in his "sprite form") will be the icon for A6A6A6, by the way.

And perhaps A6A6A3 is called "GAME OVER, KID", to go with "GAME OVER"? Or like Blaperile speculated, a manga reference.

... Oh. Well, yeah actually, that title does make "more" "sense" (in context). Oooooh, perfect art and pseudosymbol, too! I was just thinking of Caliborn's watermark, but in the context of whether they could serve as the act title. "Original act title, do not steal".

If my eyes don't fool me, it seems the icon for Game Over might be partially green to show it transfer from act to intermission in the same flash! Awesome. (Though the art doesn't give much away about the events in the flash, perhaps for the better.)

Hmm... Blaperile's right, it's kind of strange the events post-game over warrant so many of their own images.

Act 6 Act 6 Act 4 is called "Dark night of the feelings", pfff. I was wondering how Caliborn "moping" and feeling especially "emotional" as an artist could be translated to a good title. Oooh, and there's the CalCoin logo as the pseudosymbol - well, for a second, I'd wondered whether CalCoin would've been used as the title for this intermission...

I'm glad Caliborn's "Pure Art Skill" (and the art style of that sequence) is immortalized in icon form, by the way.

Ooooh, Blaperile was right, A6A6I4 is called F1X TH1S, hahahah. We're almost at the end! Just 5 more acts / intermissions to go, including the credits!

I like how both Rose's and Aranea's death judgment is featured on the map. Them being so close behind each other makes for a nice contrast.

Plus I like that Shelby's art is also featured.

Ooh, and like I speculated, each jump of John's warrants its own icon. R3UN1ON, Lemonsnout interrogation, MOM3NT...

Pfff, the line of icons going "John judging the scarf list - Gamzee is caught O_O - Making out underneath a cracked sky - Vriska: Turn - Plop" is hilarious.

Maybe Vriskagram logo will be the first icon for A6A6I5. I doubt "she's 8ack" will be the title, it's more likely what Blaperile thinks, "Why is everything always so wonderful". Though I wouldn't mind a "Web 3.0" reference. ;)

Heeheh, and there's the Masterpiece. Pffff, tiny clay Caliborn could actually serve as an icon on the forums.

Actually, now that I see the first icon for A6A6I5, it hits me how Caliborn's toothed grin looks like Gamzee's in A6A6I3... Or maybe also Lord English's mouthlaser pose, though since that's also Caliborn...

... PFFFFF A6A6I5's title is actually "She's 8ack", oh my freaking god. Well, that sure goes with the art.

All them lilypad scenes.

Ah come on, now that I see them side by side, I notice the parallel between Meenah and (Vriska) sitting on an edge talking and Dirk and Dave doing the same. In fact, the sky of LOTAK is also filled with explosions, just like how the "sky" in the dreambubbles was filled with other bubbles exploding.

Wow, again, so many nice icons and juxtapositions of them. Roxy creating the Matriorb, (Vriska) in tears while one row earlier she was still happy, GCATavrosprite and (Tavros) side by side...

Awww, (Vriska) and (Terezi)'s meetup as symbol for Terezi: Remem8er.

Ooooh, Collide marks the end of Part 4, is designated by PM's Victory (yussssss) and... it's pseudosymbol is the curtain thingamabob we see for the last time at the end of the flash. Tssssh.

Ahhhh, right, and so the post-Collide images are counted together with it, just like how the post-Act 4 pages were basically still part of that act.

QDFQDFQDFQSFQSFQSDFQSDF

Act 7 IS THE RAPTURE?????

DDANG ANDREW.

THAT WAS A MYSTERY WE THOUGHT NEEDED SOLVING INDEED.

Wow, I had not thought the Rapture to be Act 7. Wow. So, in hindsight, what he meant about this blowing our minds is that it's Homestuck The Anime!!

Ooooooh, and so Collide and Act 7 have title cards in opposite colours, black and white. So retroactively, Collide is meant to be the thing symbolized by the black circle on the "disc specibus" we saw way back first in Act 5, heheh.

OOOOohh, The Credits are not only featured, but designated "Post Canon"!!!

So, you know, you could kind of count the Snapchat updates into them as well! Maybe if Andrew ever makes an archive for them, they'll get added here?

---

So that was it. A great update, I wouldn't have counted on such good names anymore, it's been so long. But I like them all a lot, they're really fitting.

Like Blaperile suggests, Andrew probably took the time rereading the latter part of Homestuck to determine the icons and find good titles for all of the sub acts.

Too bad there's no icon for the Ultimate Bro Hug of 2015. Oh well.

[blaperile]

Homestuck Epilogues - Meat - Pages 23 & 24 (Epilogue 4 Pages 6 & 7)

[flauntpage]

The Weal Deal

Going into the 2018 offseason, Flyers forward Jordan Weal was considered by many to be a frontrunner for the vacant 3C position behind Sean Couturier and former #2 overall pick Nolan Patrick. As training camp unfolded, Weal found himself being supplanted by a somewhat surprisingly strong stretch of play by Mikhail Vorobyev. Fast forward to the regular season and Weal was a healthy scratch in three of the first five games, including two straight to start the season. It seemed inconceivable that coach Dave Hakstol would turn to Weal with the game on the line. That’s exactly what he did. Following a 6-5 shootout victory over the Florida Panthers – the team’s first home win – there were plenty of questions centered around the second line center, notably the decision to make Weal the third shooter:

Crossing Broad: When you make the decision to use [Weal] in the shootout, is that decision based on how the game is going, or is that something you’ve though out in advance?

Hakstol: A little bit of both. If you remember, Jordan had a great stretch for us last year where he was our first shooter. He was really effective, then he went cold. He struggled a little bit after that. He was a guy that coming into the game was in my top 4. As the game goes on, we made the final decision. I knew who 1 and 2 were gonna be coming into tonight. Like I said, I had a top 4, he was in that top 4. It seemed like an obvious decision to me as we got to that three spot.

So what was Weal thinking on that play? When asked if he had a pre-determined move, he said, “[It’s] Not every day you see the opposite hand goaltender there, so, I’ve always wanted to be lefty, so I thought I’d try something that only lefties can do on the regular guys and Jake’s move is so effective when he comes down with speed. Just sneaks it in under the stick there, so I thought I’d give it a try… I’ve done it in the past, but every time Jake does it, I love it. It only works when you’re coming down on the blocker side. I thought I’d give it a go.”

NOT TODAY, CATS.

Weal wins it in the shootout! pic.twitter.com/cy64mVHtH0

— NBC Sports Philadelphia (@NBCSPhilly) October 17, 2018

There was a belief that Weal’s confidence in the shootout could’ve had something to do with him netting his first goal of the season. Another reporter asked if the fist pump after his regulation goal was an expression of some relief. “Yeah,” he said, ” it was just a bunch of hard work again by our line. We’ve been on the same page getting pucks and going to work, playing below the the goalline.”

Confidence was a common theme in exchanges with his coach:

Reporter: Ron [Hextall] has talked about Jordan Weal as being a guy who gets in his own head. Did he need a game like tonight or do you think the confidence was there?

Hakstol: I think he had that game two nights ago where he felt good. He didn’t have the numbers to show for it like he did tonight. But that game came Saturday afternoon. He played very well, his line played very well. The challenge for him was to come out and do that again tonight. That line did exactly that. They went out and played a hell of a game. Jordan, give him alot of credit, I believe he played really well tonight. Not just offesnively because there’s some numbers behind his name. I thought he was good in the faceoff dot in our defensive zone. He knew what he was doing if he won a draw, lost a draw, and I thought through the game his coverage was good. Pretty complete game.

Captain:

Reporter: This was Jordan Weal’s probably best game in a long time. Can you talk about what he did tonight?

Giroux: He played well. He’s very good in 1-on-1 battles. He hardly loses a battle for his size, it’s very impresseive. He’s a guy who works hard on and off the ice. Good for him.

And himself:

Reporter: Can a game like this give you confidence?

Weal: Yeah, I think so for myself I kind of gain confidence through a week of practice, making plays in practice, it extends into games and it keeps building for me. It’s not just one thing that happens and you gain confidence, it happens over time with repetition and work ethic.

Perhaps the most telling exchanges happened in a small media scrum in the locker room. When asked if this is the most confident he’s been since joining the Flyers, he stated, “Not really, I think it’s just an accumulation of working throughout training camp, playing center. Getting a good chance in camp to show what I got. Played a couple games at wing in between. Felt good to get back. Even accumulating from the Vegas game, I thought our line had a solid game. We just kept building off that in practice and then today as well… I’m just trying to make plays, especially in the middle of the ice, I know how to find space and create time and space for myself in the middle and create opportunities for my wingers.”

I asked Weal if there was anything specific that Travis Konecny and Oskar Lindblom are doing on the ice that’s freed him up. He responded,  “I think we’re just getting a chance to play and I think we’re taking advantage of those chances. We’re playing solid in the D zone and when we play solid in the D zone, we’re getting the Puck back quick and we’re spending time in the O zone. I think that’s the biggest thing for us. I think if we continue to do that, and keep working hard in the D zone and outworking [the opposition] in the D zone, that’ll create offense for us.”

Weal’s story is one that screams of a blue-collar worker. After being held out of multiple games to start the season, he’s made the most of his opportunity. Perhaps most impressively, he did it in a shootout – the bane of this team’s existence – and delivered the team’s first victory with the game on his stick. More importantly, he provided Philly fans with a bright moment to the night before the Sixers crapped all over it.

He’s also a pretty funny guy. Anthony and I interviewed him last month on Snow the Goalie. He gave us some great insight on the responsibilities of a center and winger, as well as growing up in Vancouver. He also shared a story of the shenanigans that occurred in the stands as part of a Calder Cup Final game. Anthony and I will be back with a new episode this week, but in the meantime check out our interview with Tuesday night’s hero.

Please subscribe to the show ([iTunes] [Google Play] [Stitcher] [RSS]), leave a 5 star review, and follow us on Twitter:@AntSanPhilly @JoyOnBroad

The post The Weal Deal appeared first on Crossing Broad.

The Weal Deal published first on https://footballhighlightseurope.tumblr.com/