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#bye im dropping off the face of the earth
elliesflower · 2 years
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otw [ellie williams]
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pairing; afab!ellie x fem!reader
cw; strap-on sex (r!receiving), breeding kink 
an; hello.  (btw just ignore the title it's from pu$$y fairy by jhene aiko okay bye)
tags; @scandalcus @prettyplant0 @prrimordiais @frogychu @roarriita
18+ only mdni!!!!!
this didn’t happen very often. 
only after a particularly long day, spent lounging around the house with ellie–sloppy, lazy kisses turning into an orgasm. and then another…and another…and some more…until you were laying sweaty and naked in the sheets, ellie pressing wet kisses to your sternum as she fucked into you with her silicone cock, deep and slow.
it’s not scientifically possible. 
but that didn’t stop ellie from trying. 
“please, ellie– fuck,” you were breathless, digging your nails into her shoulderblades as she ground her hips into you, her heavy breaths fanning over your skin, making you shiver, making you desperate. you were practically seeing stars, tears streaming down your face, each brush against your puffy clit making you whine and tremble beneath her. 
“fuuuck,” she drawled, and you felt her hips stutter, keeping her cock buried deep inside you for a moment before she was picking up her pace, your pleading and babbling driving her crazy, clouding her mind, and you knew what she was feeling. she silenced one of your moans with a kiss, caging your head between her arms as she fucked into your harder—deeper somehow—your juices dribbling out pathetically around her as she grunted into your mouth. 
“gonna fucking fill you up, m’god,” she was drunk on you, wasn’t making sense, but your pussy was clenching around her desperately, trying to milk it out of her regardless.
“so fucking good for me, baby, so s’good, my fucking best girl, fuck–” she was losing her inhibition, the velocity at which she was fucking you making the headboard bang against the wall, and oh– she was reaching down to angle your hips just right, and a broken sob fell from your lips as you gripped her tighter, trying to feel her closer, and closer, and–
“–close, i’m so close,” she was panting, had to bury her head into your shoulder as she fucked you. it was overwhelming, the sound of your squelching cunt as she kept you split open, your pants and gasps and sobs as your orgasm bloomed inside of you. knew what she wanted, what you needed, 
“wanna feel it, pleasepleaseplease,” you were barely coherent, so fucked out and needy for her–
“yeah?” and she always got a big head about getting you like this, “i know baby, want me to make you the mother of my fucking kids? huh?” and to punctuate her sinful words even further, she moved a hand down to press on your stomach, and you were right there, oh my god oh my god–
“c’mon babe, loosen up– yeah, that’s it, you feel that? just how you need it...” and oh, yeah, you could, somehow—white, hot, filling you up, consumed by her grunting and mantra of you’re fuckin’ mine, all mine, all mine all mine,” 
and you were,
hers.
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transformers-why · 4 months
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hi yeah yes this blog is dead buts the only one that still has reader insert content on it and I just gotta say like
What the fuck is up the with exclusivity of reader insert shit these days? If it's about a marginally attractive man all of a sudden its f!reader afab!reader (which should NOT BE INDICATIVE OF PRONOUNS????????? YOURE NAMING THEIR SEX, AND LABELING THE PHYSICAL SEX IF IT HAS EXPLICIT CONTENT LIKE THAT IMPLIES ITS GOING TO BE GENDER NEUTRAL AND THEN ITS NOT AND ITS IMMEDIATELY TRIGGERING FOR A LOT OF TRANS PPL LIKE MYSELF??)
Like it was very very common that reader insert content baseline be gender neutral unless requested otherwise that way everyone who finds the character attractive can enjoy it?? SOOOOO fucking fed up with this smh
Fandom space is supposed to be inclusive and ngl like. when you cater specifically and only to one set of pronouns with this kind of stuff its soo deterring to so many queer people
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forlorn-crows · 1 year
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I absolutely love your writing, the "First Time" MountainDew fic almost put me in a coma, I beg you, I desperately need more of them and if Mountain could edge Dew to hell and back and make him cry and beg and then take care of that little mess he is, I would simply ascend. I would die for gentle giant Montain honestly. Please and thank you, if you decide to write. Also never stop writing okay bye 🖤
im glad you enjoyed that fic, i really liked how that one came out! this prompt was a good distraction for me today and from my WIPs, so thank you for that.
a little bit of water ghoul dew and gentle edging earth boy mount for you.
Mountain speeds his hand over Dew’s leaking cock, swallowing all the sweet little moans huffed into his mouth. He smiles against his lips when he starts bucking against his hand.
“N-no, don’t—Mount, please—”
“Not yet, water lily,” he mutters. “A few more, hm?”
“Uhn,” he whines, reedy and desperate. “Lemme cum, please lemme cum.”
Mountain slows his strokes, thumbing over the slit. Slow and teasing, just enough to make Dew gasp and sob. The hot tears pooling in his eyes spill down already damp cheeks, dropping onto the earth ghoul’s collarbone in little splatters. 
“Mount.”
“Uh uh.” He gives the base of his dick a squeeze. Dew almost howls, even more precum spurting out onto Mountain’s hand before he pulls it away completely. ”Wanna hear more of those pretty noises.”
The water ghoul drops his head onto Mountain’s shoulder, sweaty hair falling over his face. His hips are still stuttering, fretfully chasing a fading release. He grumbles. The bigger ghoul runs a soothing hand over his fluttering spine fins. They’re damp and cool with sweat, fully fluffed in Dew’s worked-up state. The warm touch births goosebumps all over his back, and he sighs at the tingly feeling. 
Mountain places a small kiss to Dew’s temple. “You’re doing so well, darling. So so good for me.”
Dew huffs. “Be better for you if you let me cum,” he mumbles into the earth ghoul’s skin.
“That so?” Mountain pushes back the damped locks of silver hair with gentle fingers, smiling at the streaks of tears and the damp lashes on his drooping eyelids. 
Those same eyes scrunch up as his cock gives another involuntary twitch against his stomach. A pained sound falls from his lips, swollen and red from where he had bitten them to stave off release. 
Mountain signs and nuzzles his nose up and down one of Dew’s horns. Holds him a little tighter. “Always make such pretty sounds,” he says softly. “Could really listen to them all day. Jerk you all slow until you can’t take it anymore, that lovely mouth right against my ear so I can hear everything.” His hands are already roaming again, dipping down to knead at the tiny swell of Dew’s ass.
“Fuck,” Dew hisses. 
“That’s it.” He dips down to ghost his lips over the gills on Dew’s neck. The tiny fins quiver under Mountain’s mouth. Dew lets out a breathy moan and tips his head to give him better access.
“Touch me,” he begs. “Please, I’ll be good, won’t cum, but—hah—your hand, you gotta—” Dew continues his nonsensical babbling, pushing his hips further and further into Mountain’s lap. 
“Yeah? I gotta?” Mountain runs his fingers over the fins on Dew’s hips. Light, teasing. Edging closer and closer to his ruddy cock. 
“Yeah, yeah.” Dew clutches the back of Mountain’s neck like he’ll pull away if he doesn’t—though he might just, considering the long afternoon they’ve already had. 
“Yeah?” Mountain dips his tongue into his middle gill just as he palms his tightly draw-up balls, and Dew nearly loses it right there. 
“Lucifersevenhellsfuckingbastard—” The earth ghoul cuts him off by sealing his mouth over the span of his gills and giving a squeeze to the base of his little cock. More of those sweet noises pour from Dew’s mouth unbidden as his big hand works him over once more; short, wet strokes as the water ghoul’s thighs twitch with need. Mountain’s hand wraps around him completely, never leaving an inch of his cock untouched as he strokes.
“You wanna cum, water lily?” Mountain purrs. 
Dew keens, tossing his head back. “Please, oh Mount, please let me cum.”
The earth ghoul polishes the flushed head with his thumb, teasing the foreskin back. “All over my hand?”
“Fuck—yes, let me—”
“You really can’t hold it in? One more time? You said you would.” His voice is honey-sweet, but his actions are anything but. 
“No, nonono.” Dew cants his hips into his hand, close to the edge just as quickly as he was ripped away from it. 
“You’re sure, darling? Want me to give it to you?” Every movement of his lips teases the fins on his gills. The shivers down his spine are relentless, making his cock kick with every wave—and every wave brings him closer to desperation, closer to the point of no return. The way Mountain strokes him certainly doesn’t help him any. 
"Yes—uh—please."
Mountain hums, the end of it leaning more towards a moan. If Dew wasn’t two seconds to busting, he’d notice the shaky inhale, the heaving of his chest that follows. “You always beg so sweetly for me. How can I resist?”
“Fuck,” Dew cries, tears spilling over once more. “Close. Tell me—tell me I can.”
“Go on,” the earth ghoul whispers. “Cum for me, water lily.”
As soon as the words are out of his mouth, Dew’s arching into his hand, sobbing his name as he spills all over his knuckles, even splattering a little onto his own stomach. Mountain just holds him, groaning as some of the milky fluid dribbles onto the bulge in his pants. Later, he thinks. 
Dew collapses into him, chest heaving, arms wrapping feebly around the bigger ghoul. He tucks his face into Mountain’s neck, huffing hot, humid breath onto his skin. The earth ghoul rocks him gently. Whispers tiny words of praise into his silver hair. Ignores the way his ass slots perfectly over his crotch. 
Later.
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IGURO OBANAI X TSUGUKO READER !¡
Warning contents: Rough sex , biting , choking , spitting , pussy eating , degrading , manhandling , pussy slapping , hair pulling , back shots .
Word count: 2.6k
Summary- Being Iguro’s tsuguko was very draining to say the least. The training was rough and exhausting but you can’t really complain because you chose this course for your life. You’ve been sick of his treatment so you decide to skip training for a bit and go hang out with Tengen.
“Obanai that shit hurts!” You yelled, holding your arm. “You can’t expect to be a hashira and you’re complaining about me hitting you in the arm?” Obanai said, staring daggers at you. “Okay but still! Go easy.” You whined. “Do you think demons are going to go easy on you?” Obanai walked up closer to you.
“Whatever.” You simply said, before getting back into position.
Every day you still think about why you wanted to be Obanai’s tsuguko. His training is so brutal his last ‘tsugukos’ quit. He was a great teacher but he doesn’t know how to hold back. Its been 4 months since I took the position on. Those last 4 months have been hell.
You take a deep breath trying to focus on your total concentration breathing. Then out of no where your face met the ground. “WHAT THE FUCK” You yelled getting up rubbing your forehead. “You need to be quick and persistent.” He said, blankly.
It was only going to take one more drop of sweat for you to snap. You got up off the ground and immediately fell back down on one knee. You suddenly felt liquid run down your face and touched it. You pulled your hand back and seen blood on your finger tips. You looked up at obanai and down at your hand.
“shit” is all you could mutter before you fell limp and passed out.
You woke up in the butterfly mansion with Tanjiro beside your bed. “What happened?” You asked sitting up, letting the covers fall off your shoulders. “You passed out and Mr. Obanai brought you here, but didn’t stay because it’s not that serious” You felt a pang in your heart and you felt tears beginning to spill.
You clutched the sheets and tried to hold back the tears. Plastering a smile on your face. “Oh okay!” You began, lips trembling. “Well im fine now so! You can hurry on ahead. Just let Lady Koucho know im up please!” You said while turning towards other side of the bed getting ready to get up. Your feet dangling off the bed. Your back is towards Tanjiro. “Also let Master Obanai know I wont be back for a few days.”
“Okay sure! Have a well rested recovery Y/n!!” Tanjiro said.
Lady Koucho came in the room and inspected you to make sure that you were okay. As soon as she said you were ready to go, she made some recovering tea.
You finished the tea and got dressed in your regular corps uniform which was very similar to kanao’s.
“Bye lady kochou. Ill come back again if anything seems wrong. You waved at her and left the butterfly estate. You knew at around these times Obanai and Muichiro were patrolling the area so you decided to grab a couple of stuff from Obanais mansion like clothes, and made your way to tengens mansion.
“I can’t believe I was so hurt by what he said. I’m hoping to God that Tanjiro was just lying. but then again he’s so bad at lying, and hates it.” You complained to Tengens muscle mice. you sighed trying to figure out why on earth were you talking to animals. “You know this is kinda creepy right?” Makio said. “I know, I just need to rant. Thanks for letting me stay here.” You said, bowing your head.
“Its fine! We understand what you’re going through and you can stay as long as you want!” Hinatsuru said, popping up our of no where, placing a hand on Makio’s shoulder.
Tears started to form and you immediately started blinking and wiping them from your face. “I appreciate it so much.”
The last 4 days Tengen has trained your total concentration breathing and ways to move more efficient and faster. You were getting ready to go to bed when you felt something slithering up your leg. “GAH WHAT IS THAT” You shrieked, Suma and Makio coming in the room to see whats wrong.
“IS THAT A SNAKE” Suma yelled, hiding behind Makio. When you took a closer look at the snake you could tell that it belonged to the Serpent pillar. “Kaburamaru? Why are you here..” A frown appeared on your face. He slithered his tongue and looked in the direction of the corner in the room.
There he was. Obanai was there. A menacing glare staring at you. Your heart rate started to increase and it felt hot. “Lets go.” He said with utter venom in his voice.
“I-I uh..” You stammered. “It wasn’t a question. Lets go.” He said grabbing you by your arm. “I have to go guys tell tengen and hinatsuru ill be back tomorrow to get my stuff!” you yelled, waving by at them. Watching kaburamaru slither back onto obanai’s neck.
We were finally away from the mansion and on your way to his. “master o-obanai that hurts.” “Do you think I care?” He said still focused ahead of him. “You seem to want to take the initiative on leaving?” Obanai said, tightening his grip. “You missed four days of training. That sets us back.” He said, gritting through his teeth. He was so angry.
“Tengen trained me on total concentration and speeding up my movements.” You said, wincing. “So? Do you really think thats what makes me mad? Don’t be dense.”
“Well I wouldn’t have left if you didn’t treat me like shit.” You said making him stop. “what?” He said, sounding genuinely confused. “Maybe if you stop pointing out my flaws and motivated me, sugar coating what im doing wrong then maybe JUST MAYBE. I wouldn’t have left. You couldn’t even stay with me at the butterfly estate, HELL you couldn’t even visit me. Do you know how painful it is when somebody tells you that your own trainer doesn’t give a fuck about you?” You yelled, running out of breath. “Let go of me!” You attempted to snatch your arm away, failing.
Tears started falling. Your heart was shattered. “You know.. I get where you are coming from. Have once have you ever tried to get to know me?” he said, anger filling in. “PLENTY OBANAI. I have tried to converse with you many times, asked you questions like what your favorite color or food was. You shut me down every time! I hate you” You fell on your knees. The arm obanai was holding still in the air because of his grasp on it. He got down on his knees to level with you. He gripped your face with his hand.
“Im not one to share my feelings with. I have issues with that. Expressing them is a fear that I have. so if I made you feel some type of way, im sorry.” Obanai said. His gaze softening. “Now come on so we can go home.”
The walk home was less awkward but the sexual tension was definitely there. You didn’t think that things would go far with you and obanai.
“Fuck! Iguro please!” You yelled, gripping his hair. His tongue lapping at your clit. He stuck two fingers into you and starting moving in a scissoring motion. “Iguro please its too much!” You yelled. He was dragging a third orgasm out of you. 30 minutes of him just eating your pussy and your legs are a shaking mess. tears rolling down your brown skin. “You need to stop moving. Its making it hard for me to go deeper.” He lowly said. Just then, the sound of his voice made you cum right then and there.
He pulled his fingers out of your cunt and licked his cum coated fingers. Your chest lifted up and down as you tried to catch your breath. “turn over.” He said, flipping you over onto your stomach and pulling your hips up.
He slapped his dick on your ass before sliding it in. Snaking his arms around your waist to slap your pussy. You cry out in pain and pleasure. “Fuck, im surprised you didnt let Tengen fuck you.” He said, sliding in and out of your cunt.
“Well, you probably went there to be a slut, but it didn’t quite work out for you huh?” He said, rubbing harsh circles on your pussy. “T-Thats not true!” You gasped.
“Shut up.” He said, pulling your hair, your back meeting with his chest. “Next time im going to fuck you with your corps uniform on. Its going to make you look more like a whore than you already are.” He said , wrapping his arm around your waist.
It came to the point that the pleasure was too much. You attempted to scoot away since he had his arm wrapped around you. “Stop running and take it.” He said harshly, slapping in between your inner thighs. A red spot forming on your tanned skin.
“O-obanai, go slower!” You reached behind you scratching at his neck. Obanai slowly raised his head down to your shoulder biting your shoulder. Breaking skin. “you taste amazing.” He said, licking at the blood.
“You’re trembling.” He said, blankly. “It feels so good.” You mumbled out. Something in him snapped. He felt a wave of possession wash over him.“Say it again. Say it.” He said. Snapping his hips into you, reaching your cervix causing you to spasm. “Iguro, it feels so good!” You yelled out. “Yeah im making you feel good. I better not catch somebody else fucking this pussy. Im going to make sure that this pretty pussy remembers my dick and its shape.” Obanai said hitting deeper parts. A white ring started to form around obanais dick.
“Awee look at that. This pussy is holding onto me for dear life.” He said, slapping your clit a couple times and then rubbing it. A whole bunch of pleases came out of your mouth before you felt something unfamiliar forming.
Obanai kept rubbing your pussy until you finally let go. Your pussy started spasming around his dick. Obanai let out a chuckle that turned into a hysterical laugh. “I got you to squirt.” He said, looking at his hand with your juices on them. His long tongue licked a stripe up his hand. “oh thats perfect.” He said, eyes rolling back at your taste.
“please tell me you’re done..” You said , drained. “We could be, but I still want to cum.” He said, putting a fake pout on his face. He began Thrusting into you again. You jerking with every thrust. He let out breathy moans and some occasional “fucks”
“ah.. fuck” He said, cumming deep inside you. Letting out a low groan.
“Fuck.. you.” You said out of breath. He pulled out and flipped you on your back. Grabbing your throat and prying your mouth open. “Take what I give you.” He said before spitting in your mouth. You’re eyes went wide. “Swallow it.” You obeyed like the perfect tsuguko you were. “Mhm thats right.” He said, looking at you with his different colored eyes. “You’re so beautiful mama.” He said before collapsing onto you. Leaving you a heated mess.
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OHH MY GODDDD!! I FOUND THIS SO FREAKING ENTERTAINING WHILE WRITING BC SJESHVDHSJSN OWMEHEMsfndlslaoaJSHWJ OBANAI SUPREMACY
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mewhenimanangel · 1 year
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spiderboy, miles morales x reader
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part 1 ʚɞ part 2 ʚɞ part 3 ʚɞ part 4! ʚɞ part 5
pairing: earth 1610! miles morales x reader
chapter 4 synopsis: Rio invites you over for dinner after hearing how Miles stuck up for you at the party.
wc: 2.1k
warnings!: cursing, teens in love, kissing, suggestive themes, google translate spanish
translations: cariño - sweetie, venid a comeros los dos - come eat you two, mi pequeño caballero - my little gentleman, mantén esa puerta abierta chico - keep that door open, boy
It was Monday morning and you sat in the mirror getting ready for school. You did your usual school make up routine of mascara, concealer, blush, and signature lip combo. You let her braids hang down today and sprayed your perfume. "Mommy can you drive me to school today?" you asked your mother as you went to put food and water in Bobo's bowls. "Sure why?" she asked drinking her coffee. "Got that big doofy project and i'm not walking with all that" "Alright well hurry up cause I gotta go"
You grabbed the project from the closet and went to put it in the backseat of the car. You ran back upstairs to grab your bag and say bye to Bobo. You settled in the car putting your seatbelts on as your mom drove off. You got a little nervous knowing you'd have to see Miles face to face again. You had been texting non stop yesterday but now you'd have to see him again after their kiss.
You looked out the window to see Spider-man stopping some guy trying to rob a mini mart. "At least that boy's working hard to keep people safe" your mom said rubbernecking. "Yeah he's so cool" you said taking a picture of the scene. After a few minutes she pulled up in front of the school and you grabbed the project from the back.
Entering the building you made a B line to Mr. Johnson's class, not wanting to try and keep that in your locker. You walked in the classroom and saw Peter standing there with his partner talking to Mr. Johnson. "Yo n/n" he called out as you put the project on the back counter. "Hey Peter" you gave him a smile. "Listen I'm real sorry about that guy last night. Are you good?" he asked, sentimental for the first time like ever. "Yeah it's okay, I promise" you nervously laughed off. He came over and gave you a small hug, before you left to go to your locker.
Zoya and Kiona walked up to you "Hey bebe" she said resting her head against the locker. "Hey Z, hey Kiona" you greeted them. "Im already ready for the weekend. Feeling extra fucking tired today" you groaned slamming the locker shut. "Too real. I'm exhausted" Kiona agreed.
"Alright I'll see you guys later" you said turning down the opposite hallway. "Yo Y/n wait up!" you turned around, face dropping to see the guy who harassed you at the party. "How do you know my name?" you asked in a flat unamused tone. "That's not important, just wanted to say sorry" he brushed off. "Okay." you said beginning to walk away. He grabbed your arm before you could get too far.
"Wait! You're not gonna say anything back?" he asked seeming offended. "What else am I supposed to say to you? You said sorry I said okay." "Come on, no 'i forgive you'" you narrowed her eyes at him in disbelief. "I don't forgive you why would I forgive you??" you spat. "Because It wasn't that fucking serious" he rolled his eyes.
"Dude you gotta leave her the fuck alone" Miles said walking up beside you. He looked back and forth between you and Miles before walking off "Fuck this" "Thanks..again. Could've held my own there but" "I know you could've." he smiled. "Uh by the way, my mom wanted to know if you'd wanna come over for dinner" he asked.
When he came home last night his mom saw blood on his fist and asked him what happened. He said it was nothing until she pushed an answer out of him. He told her what happened and she ultimately decided to invite you over. After all her son has been at this girl's house and she barely even knows her.
You tried to contain your excitement and nervousness - his mom wanted to meet you. "U-uh yeah that sounds nice. When?" you asked hiding a smile. "Friday night. That okay with you?" he asked hoping you'd say yes. "Yeah I'll ask my mom but it should be fine" The bell rung and you realized you'd be late. "I'll see you later. Get ready to present" you said hurrying to your class.
In physics, you and Miles concluded your presentation on inertia by using toy cars and a ramp. "Nice job you two. You work well together." he said writing something on his clipboard. You looked at each other and smiled before sitting back down.
🩰
The week had gone by and your heart was racing. Your mom had given you permission to go to dinner at Miles' house so here you were in your mirror frantically trying to make a good impression. You went with a sort of calm 'classy' makeup look and let your braids stay down. You wore a black long sleeve knit sweater with a black pleated skirt and a pair of loafers with white socks. Your mom had bought a bouquet of flowers from the market and told you to give it to Mrs. Morales.
On the walk over to Miles' building, you were practically shaking. You walked up the stairs to his apartment and knocked on the door. The lady who opened it had curly hair braided over to one shoulder. You could see the resemblance to Miles so you assumed that was his mom. "Hi sweetie, you're Y/n I'm assuming" she smiled at you.
"Hi Mrs. Morales" you put your hand out to shake. "These are for you" you handed the woman the bouquet of roses. "Aww thank you, cariño. Jeff, baby, can you put these in some water" Just then a tall man came up behind her. "Hey, Y/n right?" to which you nodded her head. "Yeah Miles been chatting non stop about you. He's in his room by the way." "Dinner should be ready in about five minutes" Mrs. Morales told you.
You walked in and peeled your shoes off, before following Mr. Morales' direction of where his room was. His door was open so you looked in and saw him on his bed with headphones on, seemingly drawing something. You knocked to alert him of your presence. "Oh Y/n, I didn't hear you come in" he lit up "Yeah your mom let me in." "Hey I didn't know you draw" you stood there awkwardly looking around his room, eyes landing on his collectibles. "Hey I used to have this" you said holding it. "Yeah that's pretty rare..please don't open it" he said in a small voice. "I wouldn't, m'not stupid" you joked putting it back in its resting place.
You looked around again spotting a familiar mask sticking out of his drawer. "Oh you like spider-man too?" you asked, missing the way Miles' eyes almost popped out of his head. "Uh yeah...something like that" he sighed. "Miles dinner's ready, venid a comeros los dos" his mom called out. "You can leave your jacket and your bag in here" Miles said, leading the way.
You smiled in delight at the scent of the food, everything smelled and looked amazing. You took a seat next to Miles while his parents sat on the other side. "Help yourself honey, plenty to go around." his mom said as they all began sharing their food. You took a bite and nod her head. "Oh this is really good, Mrs, Morales." you said taking another bite.
"Thank you sweetie, and you can just call me Rio."You nodded your head and continued to eat. "So, how did you and Miles meet?" Mr Morales asked. "Oh on my first day i had bumped into him and he helped me find the principal's office" you told them. "Ahh mi pequeño caballero" Rio said, earning an awkward smile from Miles.
You spent the next thirty or so minutes chatting about their lives and getting to know each other. Miles just sat back and watched you as you talked to his parents. They finished up dinner putting their plates in the sink "I can help you wash up?" you offered. "Ah don't worry sweetie, go hang out with Miles. Mantén esa puerta abierta chico" she told Miles as they went into his room. You sat on his bed moving up against the wall. "Do you wanna watch a movie or something?" he asked. "Yeah, I'm good with anything"
You guys settled on 'Someone Great' on Netflix and got comfortable in his bed, stealing glances at each other. Miles inched his hand closer to yours that was resting on your thigh. He mustered up the courage to intertwine his fingers with yours and rubbed his thumb over your knuckles lightly. You looked at each other with small grins, studying each other's face. "You are really really pretty" he blurted out. "You are too" you said before pressing her lips to his in a heartfelt kiss, eyes falling shut.
He wrapped an arm around you, pulling you closer to deepen the kiss. The movie now disregarded, you found your way onto his lap and wrapped your arms around his neck and he let his hands rest on your cheeks before moving down to your waist. They then trailed down to your thighs lightly rubbing small circles over them.
You pressed your tongue against his lips, wordlessly asking permission. He smiled against your lips before granting you access. He brought his lips down to where your jaw and neck meet pressing a kiss there. His hands moved to your ass, lightly squeezing it. Suddenly they heard a creak of a floorboard just outside his room and you frantically got up off his lap and sat back next to him.
"You two okay?" it was his mom. "Yeah mami we're good." Miles answered, hiding his heavy breathing. When she walked away you both sighed and giggled, his hand finding its way back to your. He looked away, eyes landing on the spider-man mask from earlier that you forgot to put back properly. He sat in thought for a few minutes before speaking up again
"Y/n...Can I tell you something?" he said looking into your eyes. "Yeah what is it? You don't got a secret girlfriend or anything right" you joked. He chuckled shaking his head. "No no. But you have to promise nothing's gonna change. And promise you'll keep this between us.
Your eyebrows furrowed before nodding your head. "I'm...I'm Spider-man" he rushed the words out of his mouth. You giggled before looking at his face looking for signs of kid. "Wait are you serious?" He nodded his head and raised his arm in the direction of the mask. Suddenly a piece of silky web shot out of his wrist and pulled the mask to his hand. Your jaw had dropped in astonishment before looking at the mask and then back at him. "There's no way" you breathed out, amazed. "Does anyone else know? Do your parents know?" you asked, holding the mask and looking at it. He shook his head "Just you and Ganke."
He went on to tell you about how he first got his powers and how he replaced Peter Parker, how his powers worked. And then met a different Peter Parker from another universe and then four more spider people from other universes. And how he had to take down Kingpin to get them back home safely "So there's more? Do you visit them or something?" you asked him. His face twisted into a sad expression
"Nah, there's really no way to, you know." She sympathized with him "Well why would anything change? Miles you literally swing around the city and save people every day, that's so fucking cool and really really generous of you." you reached your hand out to hold his face. "I just can't believe you knew about my spider-man obsession and didn't say anything" you joked.
He laughed laughed before you moved closer to each other and resuming your kiss. Before it could get any further though, Miles pulled back. "Would you um let me take you out? On a real date? Like one without my parents?" he chuckled. "I would love that Miles" you hugged him and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
You'd plan your date for the following weekend at a really nice restaurant in downtown brooklyn. After a few minutes, your mom told you to start heading home, so Jeff gave you a ride, Miles tagging along. "Goodnight Y/n" Miles smiled at you. "Good night, Miles"
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bugboysgf · 7 months
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Jealousy,Jealousy Pt.2
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AN: Okay so like, i'm sorry for disappearing but i promised myself this year i would write more, so i swear i won't take another three months to write again. I saw someone ask for part two so enjoy :)     ( I wrote this in like 40 mins so sorry for all the errors.)
summary: Peter likes Liz, but you can't shake this feeling that he might feel something for you. (repost)
Peter knew what he did was wrong and he wanted to fix it but he didnt know how. You were a  stubborn person .He couldn't have gone to Ned for help because everytime Ned gave him advice. It always backfires so he was going to say the only girl that wasn’t mad at him for advice.
Peter walked into the living room feeling super tired, all night he was wondering how he could make it up to you.
“Hey peter, your up early.” May said as Peter sat down at the table. “You want some coffee?”
“Yes please,” Peter said in a tired voice. May smiled at him and grabbed a cup from out of the cabinet. 
“You're never up this early, what's going on?” she said putting the mug down.
Peter takes a long sip and shakes his head “nothing”
She gave him a ‘Yea sure” look “Come on peter i know you..what's up.”
Peter didn't know how to explain what happened but he knew that may was the only girl that could help him. “ I messed up at the party.”
“Did you get into a fight?” May asked. 
“No, like with a girl,” Peter explains. 
“With Liz? Listen Peter i don't really like her she gives me bad v-”
“No not with Liz!”  He cuts her off  “with y/n.” 
“Y/n? What did you do Peter” May says in a worried tone, she liked you so the idea of him messing up with you caused her to worry. 
“I kissed Liz infront of her.” Peter grits his teeth out of a cringe . He hates thinking about how dirty he did you. He wishes he could go back and change everything.
“Why on earth did you do that? You told me you liked her.” “I do” peter defend himself “but it was a dare, i was asked to kiss the prettiest girl in the room and i choose liz because what if y/n didn't like me, then i would have lost a friend that night.” he explains 
“Come on Peter, I told you she likes you it's so obvious , go to school and fix the mess you caused.”
“But how?”
“Figure it out!” May wanted to help him but he had to learn how to deal with this on his own.
You knew that you had to face Peter but you didn't want to. The whole weekend ,every time you thought about Friday night, it brought you to tears. You didn't know why though, it could've been the fact that your crush kissed the girl that you despise in front of you or because you were so vulnerable with Peter, you cried to him and it was something that you've never done before. And for him to just sit there and look at you without saying a word made it worse.
“Hey” Mj said to you as you guys walked into school.
“Oh hi, what's up?” you said without a care in the world, you didn't want her to know that you were hurting from what happened but to her it was all written over your face.
“Oh well i don't know… you tell me” she said in a sarcastic tone “texted you all weekend with no response. You left the party without saying bye.” “It's not like you don't have my location, you knew where I was.” you rolled your eyes.
“Come on y/n i know what Peter did is bothering you.” she said, turning her  unlock to her locker.
“Well of course it is like-” you opened your locker and a rose and card fell out. You look at Mj “what the hell?” you say confused you pick up the rose and card from off the floor. “Im sorry please forgive me- peter” you read the note out loud.
You look in the way that Peter's locker is in just to catch him staring at you with a smile on his face. You gave him a forced smile and started to walk up to him.
“Yes the plan worked.” he says to himself still smiling, his smile dropped when he watched you walk right past him and throw the rose and card in the trash. Maybe his plan didn't work after all
You managed to make it to lunch and avoid talking to Peter, you had mostly every class with him so that was impressive on your part. Now it was time for lunch. Mj had electives so she couldn't join you so you sat alone, most of your friends had their own little group but now that you weren't talking to Peter the group was disconnected you knew Ned was going to take his best friend's side even if he was wrong.
Peter saw you sitting alone, he could tell something was bothering you and he knew it was his fault. Every second that he went without talking to you seemed like torture and he had to fix it. He didn't care if you shooed him away because he would just try again. He excused himself at the table he was sitting at and made his way over to your table.
You were so out of it that you didn't even see him approaching you. He sat down and you looked at him with a dull expression on your face. It made him question if he should be even doing this. 
“Please forgive me” you looked at him and didn't say a word. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you.”
“You didn't” you say.
“I didn't?.” peter says relieved
“No, like I said before you just made everything clear. I was just blind i see.”  you said. Peter didn't say a word. “See you didnt change! You're doing the same silent thing you did at the party.”
Every second Peter goes with saying a word, he can feel you slipping away but it couldn't form the words to even explain how sorry he felt.
“I'm going to go,” you say, rolling your eyes. 
“I like you” he blurts out.
“What?” you said.
“I like you.” he says again without hesitation.
“No,” you shake your head. “You like Liz.”
“I- i don't…i like you.”
“You don't have to say that to make me feel better….What about the other girl?” it was hard for you to believe what peter was saying, yes you wanted him to like you but why couldn't he just have told you at the party.
“The other girl was you. I chose to like Liz because I thought there was no way you could have liked me, then at the party you confessed to liking me so ....”
“Oh” was all you could say, you smiled to yourself taking in the information that Peter just told you. “Are you sure?” you wanted to make sure you aren't dreaming.
“Yes, I'm sure,” he says, smiling. “Do you forgive me?” 
“Only if you forgive me for acting weird.”
“Of course…do you think it's too soon to ask you on a date?”
“No, never too soon” you laughed 
“Okay… so olive garden after school?” he asked.
“How could  I say no to the olive garden?”
Request are open!
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morerandombullshit · 6 months
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Y'ALL I GOT DRAMA LUKE'S GAY CONFIRMED??? also some other random shit plus a free Spotify playlist
CW: a homophobe acting gay, slightly NSFW themes (only if you squint)
OH MY GODS THIS SHIT IS LITERALLY THE FUNNIEST THING IVE EVER SEEN BUT LIKE
SO MY BSF HAS THE SAME GYM CLASS AS LUKE AND FUCKING SHIT (ok technically we all share a gym class but then there's the gender split my nb ass is silently dying inside every fucking time) AND THEY WERE DOING HEALTH CLASS IN THE CAFETERIA BC THEIR NORMAL TEACHER WASNT IN TODAY, RIGHT?
NAH BC I TOLD MY FRIEND, "Take pics if there's drama" AND LIKE, THERE WAS DRAMA
SO IT WAS LUKE BEING A GAY FUCKER DESPITE BEING A HOMOPHOBE, BUT WE ALL KNOW HOMOPHOBES ACT THE GAYEST EITHER WAY
SO
HE GOT A COUPLE PICS
EXHIBIT A IS THIS
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SO CONTEXT FOR THAT FIRST IMAGE ACCORDING TO MY FRIEND AND ANOTHER MUTUAL FRIEND WHO APPARENTLY WATCHED THE WHOLE THING WAS THAT LUKE WAS LIKE, HUMPING AND THRUSTING INTO THE DUDE HE'S CHOKING ON THE TABLE? (the other dude's name is Lachlan btw) AND THEN MAN STARTED FUCKING THE OTHER GUY IN THE ASS? IDEK ITS SO CONVULUTED BUT
little sidenote: my friend had to hide behind a pillar so the sub didn't catch him getting the pic and like, the sub broke it up by calling them out too
ANYWAYS EXHIBIT B
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IDEK WHATS GOING ON IN THIS I THINK HES HUMPING A CHAIR OR SOME SHIT LIKE THAT??? ITS FUNNY AS SHIT THOUGH
LIKE ITS SO FUNNY I CANNOT
also yes, i realized this is basically showing you guys his face and ig i begrudgingly agree with that comment from the guy trying to set me and him up (fucking still) that he is kinda "hunky"
AND AND I LOST FEELINGS WOOOOOO ITS BACK TO 24/7 HATE LETS GO
also im just gonna drop man's last name here—his last name is Tyler. like, can you get any whiter than a name such as fucking Luke Tyler?? (i say as i'm fucking Polish but we aren't talking ab me here are we)
OH AND IM GONNA DROP HIS TIKTOK
ITS FUCKING @lukewild123 AND ITS THE CRINGEST THING ON EARTH I SWEAR I WANTED TO TOSS MYSELF OFF MY COUCH FIRST TIME I SAW IT BUT
WHAT I WANT Y'ALL TO DO, IS TO SPAM "gay boy" ON ALL HIS TIKTOKS
FOR THE FUNNY AND BC I WANNA TORTURE HIM (ig this is where my moral questionability comes in but)
oh yeah and the week before spring break (which was last week) i was sick and that's what inspired my V x Reader a lil while back and like, i didn't see Luke for two weeks (new fucking record WOO) and then Monday i saw him but he didn't see me right? NO because he gives me The Luke Stare™ (yes i'm trademarking it and what i mean by it is like, those looks he gives me for no fucking reason at all- also I was giving my bsf a play by play as I wrote this post and he suggested "The Luke™" as a pun of "The Look™" i can't 😭😭) on Tuesday and i wanted to die and seep into the floor
anyways thanks for listening to my rant and yes i swear im gonna write and post smth at some point idrk when yet but
stay safe, make sure to keep your friends safe too and be chaotic
OHHHH WAIT I ALMOST FORGOT
YOU GUYS GET A FREE SPOTIFY PLAYLIST I MADE THATS PUBLIC AND IS BASICALLY A COLLECTION OF SONGS THAT I THINK FIT LUKE KINDA?? IDK BUT
actually bye now lmao
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Im so fucking stoked for Tears of The Kingdom im shaking like a hairless cat on a cold day over it if I suddenly drop off the face of the earth it’s because I’m gonna be fucking glued to that game 😫 and if this suddenly becomes a multi fandom selfship blog….sorry not sorry. I wanna fuck Sidon so bad it makes me look stupid 😫
But now I’m just thinking about zora!risotto and holy fuck, goddamn, fucking christ on a bike. He’d be so goddamn huge and he’d be just so mean looking. Can you imagine the power in those hands as you finger blast him while he chokes you—I need to go lie down, bye
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siglai · 2 years
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im now dropping off of the face of the earth bye
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x
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iwadori · 3 years
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Haikyu boys when they make you insecure PT 1 (Kenma,Kuroo)
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Part 1 Part 2  Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6.
Word Count:3k 
genre: angst, fluff
masterlist
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Kenma:
You and Kenma have been in a long distance relationship for a while.
Both of you stream, Kenma doing it seriously for his job and you just playing it for fun,
Sometimes you stream together of course but because of your difference in audiences and games you don’t do it all the time
“Bye guys! Hope you enjoyed todays stream” You wave off to the camera and shut off your PC taking a few sips of water.
Kenma: Hey.. nice stream today Y/N are you going to watch mine?
Y/N: Of course I will 
Kenma: Ok talk to you later
Y/N: okayy <3
Kenma is what inspired you to stream, he also taught you all the ins and outs of streaming making sure you were set and ready. Your gaming style was very relaxed and friendly as you obviously weren’t streaming as a career just for fun and to make friends with your online viewers. The games you played were usually: minecraft, COD, Sims 4, Roblox, Animal crossing and *Insert your favourite game here* the way I literally named all the games I play 
You wait for Kenmas stream to start, kind of excited as you’ve always loved seeing your boyfriend in his ‘element’ when it comes to playing to games. As your boyfriends stream starts you see he’s already chosen what game he is playing today which is to your surprise Call of duty, since that was the game you were playing earlier.
As he gets into the stream you are entertained, as always since Kenma was being his usual self laughing at his own deadpan jokes and interacting with his viewers. He is currently waiting for his capture the flag game to start so as he waits he decides to read some comments in the chat.
You’re used to the usual ‘Kenma where is Y/N I miss your usual streams together’ or ‘kenma please RAIL me’ which always makes you laugh. You were also used to the common hate comments Kenma and You both got on your streams but you were definitely not ready for this..
@ Ihatewomanandiamadick : Hey Kenma did you see your girls stream today she is so dog shit at COD lmaoooo jhdfkjdrhdrr
“Well hello ihatewomenandiamadick” started Kenma “but yes I did see Y/N stream and obviously she is not the best at games and I would definitely NOT ask her to team with me for any serious gaming competitions ... but she’s fun to watch I guess” as he finished speaking about you his game loaded up so he focused his attention on that the words he just spoke going to the back of his mind as they end up at the forefront of yours.
You obviously knew you were no match for Kenma’s gaming expertise but you didn’t expect him to publicly agree with a hate comment let alone add more of his imput on you. Did he really think that about you? ‘She’s fun to watch I guess’ did he not even enjoy your streams that much?
You wanted to distract yourself, and you definitely couldn’t do that watching him so you close off of his stream and get in your bed deciding to watch your favourite show. 
Waking up at 6pm after your sad nap, you see that Kenma has left some messages to you,
Kenma: hey did you watch my stream?
Kenma: do you want to facetime later and play some minecraft..?
Kenma: y/n r u ok??
Y/N: oh hey cnt play minecraft w you rn not really in the mood..
Kenma: oh ok..
Time passed since then a month to be exact and you basically dropped off of the face of the earth, you weren’t in the mood to do anything let alone game and stream, which was a constant reminder of your boyfriend (something you didn’t want at the time.) 
You felt embarrassed over all the things he said about you and all the things you now think he thinks about you and the way you play. Maybe he thinks even worse things about you, beyond just how you game? What if he doesn’t even genuinely like you...or he has someone else...it does make sense, you do both live miles and miles away from eachother AND he’s a big streamer you see the amount of girls in his comments.
You shake your head to erase your protruding thoughts coming in your mind, but it doesn’t really help. You and Kenma haven’t spoken much over this month he tried to constantly reach out to you at first but you assume he got bored over your constant, repetitive dry texts. So you were almost content with you and Kenma not even being in a relationship anymore.
However on Kenma’s side, he was beyond worried about you. Since you haven’t been streaming or barely responded to his texts he thought something happened to you, but he didn’t want to be seen as ‘overstepping boundaries’ if there was nothing wrong at all with you and you simply were just ‘not in the mood.’ 
So here he is, in Kuroo’s apartment trying to get him to help him out on finding out what is wrong with you.
“So kenma can you remember what happened the day when Y/N went ‘ghost’“ asked Kuroo in a mock detective voice
“Y/N didn’t go ‘ghost’ Kuro, and take this seriously” said Kenma “I’m worried bout her”
“Okay fine, but for real what’s the last thing you remember before she started acting all weird.” 
“Umm I think it was around a month ago I did my saturday stream and I think she was on it but she didn’t leave her usual nice comments throughout”
“Ohh that was the stream when you sai-” Kuroo said before pausing his words as the memory of what Kenma said about you on his stream came in his mind, as even Kuroo thought it was a tad bit harsh for Kenma to say all those things “I think I know why Y/N has been so distant kiddo”
“What why?” Asked Kenma
Kuroo pulls out his phone and brings up the clip off what Kenma said and Kenma’s face cringes ‘did he really say all those things about you’ he thinks. 
“Shit.. I didn’t know I said all of that” he said quietly “how do I make it up to her?”
“There’s only one thing you can really do Kenma” said kuroo
You are woken up out of your sleep by a knock on the door. Getting out your bed like a zombie, you trudge to your front door only surprised by what you see. There in his 5′6 glory stood your ‘boyfriend’ Kenma with a controller and a kitten teddy in his hand. You were very tempted to shut the door in his face and get back to your dreamless sleep but you waited on him to speak.
“Hi Y/N” he said quietly “wanna play some minecraft...?”
“Why so you can ridicule me on how shit I am?” You ask bitterly ready to shut the door on him
“No! No not all” he said stopping you from shutting the door entering your place “Y/N i’m really sorry on what I said, I wasn’t thinking AT ALL... I love watching your streams and I think you’re great at playing games...I was just being a dick,”
You take a deep breath before tears pool in your eyes “what you said really hurt me kenma..” you say “ I know people say shitty things on the internet all the time... it’s the internet. But I wasn’t expecting you to agree with the hater and say even more shitty things on top of that.. I don’t think I want to even stream anymore”
Upon hearing that, Kenma’s mouth parts open with shock ‘you dont want to stream anymore’ were his comments that bad? Now he feel even worse as he should and is now more determined to make things right. 
He impulsively drags your arm into your game room, catching your surprise ‘what is he up too?’ you think. He stops for a second seeing your usual pristine gaming set up, collected up with dust. 
“What are you do-” you start 
“Just wait!” He says, as he rushes away turning on all your stuff and logging onto his twitch account as he sees the views go up he starts to speak
 “Hi guys, its me kodzuken and today I’m here on stream with my beautiful girlfriend and today I want to say..” he turns to you “Y/N im so sorry for the horrible things I said to you that day... I was just being a dick and I’m sorry I really am.”
You look at the chat and you see some confusion and some people recalling his words from last month. “It’s fine Kenma, I forgive you” you say giving him a hug”
“Okay Y/N, so what do you say... wanna beat my ass at bed wars?” He says with a smirk 
“When have I ever loss?” you return his smirk
Of course you did beat his ass as bed wars for rounds on rounds never losing proving yourself to actually be a good gamer girl. You enjoyed your time with Kenma, forgetting what he said before about you and moving on. 
Eventually, you guys moved in together and streamed together all the time and yes you still do play for fun but you’ve gotten way better at COD (some may say better then Kenma) but who is better didn’t matter to any of you, as long as you got to play together that’s all you both cared about.
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Kuroo:
Kuroo and you have been together since you were in your first year of high school 
You met as friends first when you got him to tutor you in chemistry ( a subject you still aren’t that good at.)
Now you have your upcoming entrance exams for university in a month so your school has you doing mock exams in preparation for them.
20%
You look down at your chemistry paper that your teacher just handed you. 20%. You’re surprised, very surprised since out of all your subjects (that you go 90+% on) you studied on the chemistry test the hardest ensuring Testurou, that you didn’t need his help at all. But I guess it turns out, you did.
This failing mock grade put a blunder on your day, you didn’t interact with anyone and didn’t want to see your boyfriend so you skipped your usual routine of meeting him on the rooftop and went to the library instead ‘might aswell start early on your studying’ you thought.
As you were going over your chemistry topics, you hear an ‘ahem’ next to you and you turn your head only to find your boyfriend and his friends next to you. Kuroo with his usual goofy smile on his face. 
“Hey kitten where were you at lunch?” he asked 
“Needed to go to the library, Chemistry is kicking my ass” you mumbled 
“Oya” he said as he noticed your chemistry test laying under your textbook “20%, well damn Y/N I knew you were stupid, but I didn’t know you were that stupid” he laughed doing his stupid usual hyena-like laugh.
Ouch well that hurt. You slightly flinched at his words, “Really your name, you didn’t know the molecular formula for ethanol, that’s first year work” he said continuing to laugh “I’m pretty sure that’s one of the first things I tutored you on when we first met” 
His overbearing laughter was not good for you, you were already having a bad day and yes you do know your not that good at chemistry but you didn’t need your chemistry-enthusiast boyfriend to make fun of you for failing. Kenma and Yaku stood there awkwardly obviously aware of how bad Kuroo is making you feel but they didn’t really know how to stop his friend in the moment.Whilst he’s still dying of laughter you decide to pack up your stuff and leave the library.
You managed to get your Chemistry tutor to let you retake your mock paper in a week so that means, extra hard studying with no distractions you definitely can’t fail again. Since studying on your own was definitely not a good option, and you couldn’t go to Kuroo (especially after he ridiculed you) you decided to ask the second smartest person you know to tutor you.
Y/N: Hey Yaku! Can I ask you a favour?
Yaku: Hi Y/N what do you need??
Y/N: I have my chemistry retake next week, and as you know from your loud-loud friend I failed my recent test so can you tutor me?? 
Y/N: Pleaseeee
Yaku: Ok Y/N why can’t you ask Kuroo you know that he’d be more than happy to help
Y/N: Yakuu pleasee just help me out 
So there you was, nearly a week done with your study sessions with Yaku and you’re feeling way more confident than before. 
“Y/N what is the functional group of a Carboxylic Acid” Yaku asked
“umm... COO?” 
“Great! that’s correct Y/N” he praises i dont actually know if it’s correct or not
You then hear a knock at Yaku’s front door and hear his mum let the person in, Kuroo then enters Yaku’s bedroom with shock plastered on his face surprised to see you here.
“Y/N...hey?” he says confused “what are you doing here?”
“Oh Mori-chan is just helping me with chemistry for my retake tommorow” you say nochalantly internally smiling at the twinge in Kuroo’s face at the purposeful use of Yaku’s first name.
“So why didn’t you ask me to help you know I’m a chemistry whiz” he asks
“Maybe I’m too stupid to be taught under your tutelage” you mumble “since I seem to forget whatever you teach me, even when it’s 3 years ago... but ok”
“Y/N I-” he starts 
“Oh save it Kuroo, I have studying to do” you say cutting him off
“But I-” he tries
“So Mori-chan COOH is the function group of ethyl ethonate right?” you ask ignoring your boyfriend who is now at a lost for words
“ummm yeah it is” says yaku who is clearly feeling heavily awkward at the tension in his bedroom.
Kuroo leaves and you and yaku finish off the studying for the night, you did feel a little bad for being a bit mean to Kuroo but it’s karma for him being a dick to you. 
You wake up the next day ready for your exam which was first thing in the morning, before you hand in your phone you see a message from Kuroo,
Kuroo: I know you’re still mad at me, but I think you’re going to do so well on this test. You’re not stupid at all, you’re really smart and I love you < 3 
Kuroo: Good luck Y/N
You don’t respond to the message but smile at the sincerity of it and thankful for the boost of confidence it gave you before you start your exam.
Finishing the exam with a smile, you were confident you did well as everything you and Yaku went over was on the paper and you’re almost certain you atleast got more than 75%. You have to wait an hour before your teacher can give you your results, so in the meantime you might aswell reconcile with Kuroo.
When you exit the classroom, standing there was Kuroo who seemed to have been waiting for you for the whole duration of the exam.
“So how was it?” Kuroo asked, apprenhensive as he assumed you would just ignore him like you did at Yaku’s house.
“It was fine, I think it went alright..” you say
“Kuroo”
“Y/N”
You say simultaneously, he pauses for a second to let you speak “I’m sorry I was being so stand offish when we were at Yaku’s I just wanted you to see I could do it on my own, and when you called me stupid I really took that to heart since you and I both know that Chemistry wasn’t ever my best subject” 
“I’m sorry too, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad, and since it was only a practice test I didn’t think you’d take it to heart but I am sorry I know you aren’t stupid.”
Before you got to say anything else, your Chemistry teacher exited the room with your chemistry paper in hand. Kuroo grabbed your hand anticipating your nerves and gave it a gentle squeeze.
“Miss L/N” said your teacher “Well done on your chemistry test” he turned your test around to sure a perfect 100%. Both you and Kuroo gasped, you were elated to say the least you wanted to jump up and down in excitement but a PERFECT 100%.
“I’d also like to add that you have now got the top chemistry score in the school beating the previous title holder Kuroo Testurou” said your teacher, this made Kuroo open his mouth even wider in surprise nearly making you giggle at his response. 
Your teacher took his leave, leaving you and Kuroo in the hallway “ I guess i’m the chemistry whizz now “ you say wiggling your eyebrows just as Kuroo did to you before at Yaku’s this made him chuckle as he came to put his arm around you.
“Y/N don’t get ahead of yourself now, you may have won this battle but I will win the war” he said smiling
In the final exam, you continue your winning streak also getting a near 100% and still beating Kuroo which didn’t matter to either of you, now you’re just like him cracking chemistry puns and jokes all the time which none of your friends appreciated but atleast Kuroo found them SODIUM funny.
AN: Please kill me for the last line of Kuroos, I didn’t really like Kuroo’s since it was a bit self indulgent with my hate for chemistry but what do you guys think?
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forever-rogue · 3 years
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OH I HAVE AN IDEA like an angsty fic where bucky and reader have a miscommunication and it causes a fight between them and they are both like ???? “we’ve never yelled at each other ??? what is this” AND IDK I JUST WANT ANGST
So, head empty, very little thoughts, but I hope this works and you like it 🥺
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
You sang along to the music that was playing softly in the background as you showered and got ready for your day. You’d had a late start, easily giving into Bucky and staying in bed for just five more minutes, which had really turned out to be almost another hour. The good thing about being the boss was that you could afford to be late every once in a while. Bucky was in the kitchen, whipping up a quick breakfast before he too needed to leave and go about his day.
“Sugar,” he called out to you as you washed your hair. You could faintly make out his voice as you carried on, but figured you’d be able to make out what he was saying well enough, “I’ve got everything made and prepared just how you like it!”
You thought nothing of it for a moment and continued to wash your hair; but about halfway through the motions, you stopped in surprise. What had he actually said?
“Bucky? Bub, what did you say?” you quickly rinsed out our hair before pulling back the shower curtain as you tried to listen in. Had he really said he was mad?
“It’s all done! I’m done,” he called back as he covered your plate for you to find once you got out of the shower. He grabbed his travel mug of coffee and headed towards the door, giving Alpine a quick pet before leaving, “bye honey. Running late and gotta go - I’m leaving!”
“Bucky!” you almost slipped and fell as you tore back the shower curtain and almost jumped out of the shower. It was still running as you haphazardly grabbed a towel and darted down the hall and into the kitchen. But he was already gone; the only thing that was left behind was the faint smell of his cologne. Swallowing the nervous lump in your throat, you trudged back down the hall to finish your shower. You were already running late and whatever this was - whatever had just happened - would need to wait until later.
Had Bucky really just broken up with you in the midst of a shower? It sure seemed like it right now.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
A heavy sigh escaped your lips as you sat down and stared at your computer screen. You’d had the same spreadsheets and charts pulled up for the last two hours and made almost no progress. You swore that almost every single interaction you’d had with Bucky over the last week was playing on loop in your mind. You were desperately trying to figure out where you’d gone wrong, what had caused him to snap.
In an effort to alleviate your own fears, you’d texted Bucky to get a response from him and see what was going on. But you hadn’t heard back from him. You’d sent three messages before deciding not to bombard him. But still...if he was just up and leaving you after almost three years together, he owed you at least a small explanation.
You opened google and quickly pulled up an apartment search, already resigned yourself to the idea that you’d need to find a new place fast. Being around for too long would be too hard and you didn’t want to subject to more torture than necessary. And Alpine! You’d need to decide what to do with your beloved cat - Alpine loved you equally, how were you to choose who would get the fluffy little thing? And all the friends in common you shared...who would they side with?
“Fuck,” you groaned at nothing in particular and decided to focus on your work. At least that would keep you distracted and your brain focused on something other than Bucky. You would figure out everything else tonight. It would all be fine. This was no big deal; maybe your world was falling apart...but you would handle it. You always did.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
When you finally allowed yourself to go home that evening, you were shocked to find the lights on and Bucky in the kitchen. He was on the phone with someone, his new girlfriend or someone like that you immediately presumed, moving about the kitchen as he finished dinner. You choked up as you watched the domestic scene that was so normal to you by now. But this time, it felt so wrong.
You stormed in and for whatever reason, you decided that grabbing a pillow and throwing it at Bucky was a good idea. You picked the soft thing up in your arms and hurled at him, who suddenly realized you were home and yelped in surprise as he dodged the offending object. He raised his eyebrows in surprise as he pointed to the earbuds in ears as he turned back to the stove.
You were seeing red by now as you stormed in the kitchen and ripped his earbuds out. He was so stunned by your sudden actions, he jumped back and offered up a shocked look.
“What the fuck are you doing here!?” you shouted at him as you threw the buds on the floor, half tempted to stomp them, “how fucking dare you!”
“Sugar, what on earth are you talking about?” he grabbed his phone off the counter and ended the call without hesitation. Your chest heaved as you waited for some sort of explanation, “what’s going on? Are you alright?”
“No, I’m not alright! How on earth could I be alright?” you threw your hands up in exasperation as you tried to unsuccessfully hold back your tears. He was so calm and nonchalant about everything it was almost more frustrating than anything else.
“Okay...something is going on. Care to enlighten me?” he tried to reach up and wipe your tears away but you flinched out of his touch, “sugar?”
“Y-you! It’s you!” you cried softly as he motioned for you to explain just what it was about him that was the problem.
“What about me…?”
“You just break up with me this morning and tell me you’re leaving me and then you just come back like nothing has happened?” as soon as the words left your mouth, Bucky’s mouth dropped open. It was news to him that he’d broken up with you, “and you didn’t answer my texts all day! I deserve some sort of explanation!”
“I didn’t...I didn’t break up with you, Sugar,” he stated simply as you tilted to your head in confusion, trying to decide if he was pulling your leg or being honest, “why would I leave you? That makes no sense. I love you - I’m in love with you!”
“This morning,” you whispered softly, “you said you were done and you were leaving. When I was in the shower.”
His brows furrowed as he tried to figure out what exactly you were talking about. But then it hit him and he struggled not to burst out laughing. He gnawed on his lip as he fervently shook his head, “my sweet girl, you...well you heard me correctly, but incorrectly at the same time.”
“What? I-I swear…”
“What I said was breakfast was done and that I was leaving for work because I was running late too,” he explained as you tried to replay all that you had heard. Maybe...maybe you hadn’t heard him correctly at all - and in turn jumped to the worst possible conclusion, “I had to run...I’m sorry I didn’t come into the bathroom and say goodbye. Maybe that would have solved this whole thing.”
“You’re not..leaving me?” you asked as he just shook his head and took the opportunity to wrap his arms around you, “you still love me?”
“I find it both hilarious and concerning that you so easily thought I would just leave,” he kissed the top of your head as you held onto him as tightly as possible, “of course I’m not leaving. You never have to worry about that, sugar. I love you so much, silly girl. You sweet, silly girl.”
“I’m an absolute idiot,” you mumbled as you buried your face in his shoulder. You couldn’t believe that you jumped from A to Z so quickly and without a moment of hesitation, “I’m sorry, Bub. I feel like I wouldn’t blame you if you did want to leave me now.”
“Never,” he promised softly, “even if you do have moments of being ridiculous. Just like I do.”
“If I ever do something so dumb again,” you huffed as you pulled back and looked at those ocean eyes, “just smack some sense into me. But I...you didn’t answer my texts.”
“Texts?” he seemed genuinely confused as he reached for his phone and correctly scrolled through his messages. You could see that there were none from you, “what are you…I was in bad reception today. Blame Sam, that I was just on the phone with, for that one. They probably never came through. I’m sorry, honey. If they’d come in, maybe we could have avoided this whole situation, huh?"
“Some bad luck on top of it,” you hid your face behind your hands and sighed heavily, “James. I..I’m so sorry for everything. I just downright acted like a fool today. I don’t even know where to begin to apologize. I love you, Bub. I hope you can forgive me, but if not...I would-”
“Hey,” he put his hand under chin and turned your face up to meet his own. His smile was lilting and gentle and his eyes soft, “I love you. It’s alright done and forgotten. Are you hungry? Dinner’s just about finished.”
“I love you more than anything,” you whispered as he pressed a gentle kiss to your lips, “I just...my emotions were so all over the place today. Like out of control, A to Z. I don’t know what happened.”
“Shit happens,” he dismissed it with a slight scoff as he reached for some dishes, “I’m yours, sugar. Always.”
“Me too,” you agreed as you leaned against the counter, watching him with nothing but adoration. It was then that another realization - and possibly an explanation - hit you. It felt like a punch in the gut, “shit.”
“What?” Bucky asked as he started to plate dinner, “everything okay?”
“Yeah,” you smiled nervously, “just remembered something I forgot to do today.”
“As long as you’re alright…”
“I am,” you promised. You could worry about this later, “hey - I love you so much, Bucky. You know that right?”
“I love you too. Always.”
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
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au-writer · 2 years
Text
Wow so im kinda writing again? On and off. But I wanted to get something out there. I also gotta find my laptop and upload some of my old stuff. This was typed on my phone so apologies if it’s not up to snuff. Anyways here’s wonder wall..
Felix x y/n
Summary: close best friends. Best buddies. That’s all, right? Felix isn’t so sure anymore.
“Snacks!” You exclaimed as you burst through the door of the practice room. Many thanks were given your way as you sat down on the floor, back against the wall.
“Did you remember to bring-“
“Your favorite?” You cut Felix off and handed him his new favorite flavor Cheetos that you had kept separate.
“I grabbed one bag before anyone else could snag them” you added as he took the snack and sent you a warm smile.
“You are the best” he said, taking the seat next to you.
“I’m just glad you brought us snacks so Felix won’t be sneaking out later to get some” Jisung said with a smirk as he walked by you guys. Bangchan looked up, but decided against asking what Jisung meant, and went back to eating his snack
“Sneaking our for snacks-no. But can I sleep at your place? You know the guys get noisy-“
“Please don’t even ask anymore. You have a key for a reason” you said before he could finish his sentence.
Felix had been your best friend since before debut when you had ran into each other in a coffee shop. Literally. Coffee was everywhere and broken Korean apologies were swapped until you spoke English and the conversation switched.
“You speak-“
“You too!”
You both sighed with relief and laughed. Besties ever since.
“I just don’t want to show up unannounced. Never know what you would be getting into”
“Something too kinky for you I’m sure” you teased.
“I’m plenty kinky” he said smiling. You rolled your eyes.
“Ok…on that lovely note can we please get back to practice?” Bangchan asked rhetorically, rubbing his temples.
“See you later” you told Felix as he helped you stand. You hugged him good bye, and was about to leave when Changbin walked in from the hallway. You said good bye to him and he wrapped you in a hug, which wasn’t altogether uncommon. It has gotten noticed by Felix and his face showed how he felt about it.
“Earth to Felix?” Bangchan said, noticing how stiff his friends shoulders had gotten.
“It was just a hug” Felix said out loud, not meaning to. He shrugged and kicked his lips.
“That’s weird” he thought to himself and began biting his lip. “I don’t care who she hugs… I mean I do but Changbin is fine… anyone should be fine… well not anyone. Not guys that are her type… but that shouldn’t matter? Changbin is her type…”
With that last thought he shook his head and looked at Bangchan who has been conversing with Hyunjin about the choreography previously.
“You good?” Bangchan asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just…”
“I’d be wound up constantly too if I had a hot best friend that I’ve never done anything with” Han added as he walked next to Felix.
“Attractive-yes, but I don’t feel about y/n that way” Felix said to the room. He was met with silence.
“She’s my best friend. Nothing more” he added. His friends stayed silent.
“I’m just saying, it’s about time someone gave her some attention” Han added after a moment had passed. He meant to be teasing but Felix wasn’t laughing. He wanted to be able to stop and think about whatever it was that he was feeling, but practice must go on.
That night, as usual, Felix snuck out and headed to your place. He didn’t knock as he turned his key in the lock and walked into your small but modern apartment.
“I’m covering my eyes in case you aren’t decent” he said in a slightly raised voice so you would hear.
“I’m decent” he heard your voice from your room. He followed and when he entered his jaw dropped. He couldn’t help it. You were standing in front of your full length mirror wearing a small black dress Felix had never seen before.
“Well, that’s a good reaction. I’ll try this red one on next and see how you feel about that one” you laughed. Felix didn’t respond.
“You can stop staring, please” you added as you looked at Felix’s reflection over your shoulder in the mirror.
“You just look really great. Did you go shopping today?” He asked finally finding his voice and taking a seat on your bed.
“Just a little. I wanted a few new dresses” you told him.
“This one next” he said, holding out a purple one. He eyed a red one after that.
“What’s the special occasion?” He asked, noticing the majority of your purchases consisted of nice dresses.
“A date” you said, walking into the bathroom to change.
Felix blinked and his brain seemed to grind quickly and briefly to a halt before he spoke up. His voice was louder than he was expecting.
“A date date?”
“Yes” you said, exiting the bathroom and walking toward your mirror. You turned and looked at your curves. You didn’t like this dresses as much.
“With a guy?”
“Well, yes. Sorry to disappoint, but I’m straight” Felix ignored your joke and say silently for a moment. He didn’t know what to say.
“I don’t think-“ you began to explain why this was not the dress when Felix spoke up again.
“With who?” He asked. His stare had become icy and intense and you felt interrogated.
“Just some guy from my history of the Roman arts class” you explained. Picking up the next dress and heading towards your bathroom to change. Before you had a chance to close the door behind you, Felix was in the doorway. The questions continued.
“How long have you known this guy? How old is he?” Felix asked. You rolled your eyes.
“The whole semester. And I guess he’s our age” you pushed him out of the bathroom to change, but his voice continued right on the other side of the door.
“I don’t think you should go. He could be crazy. What’s his name?”
“Felix!” You said with a laugh as you opened the door in the next dress.
“What’s with the 20 questions?” You asked.
“It’s just… weird…for you to be going on a date” he said with a shrug and sat down on your bed.
“It is not weird! I like being taken out” you said appraising this dress in the mirror. Still not as great as the first one, you thought.
“I know” Felix said.
“I like going out and being social” You added.
“I know! Your drunk late night Snapchat’s remind me of this” Felix nodded.
“And a girl has needs! I have needs that-“
“I want to satisfy those needs” Felix said.
You turned to him and your eyes locked on his. He must not know what you meant.
“No, I mean, I have needs that only a pe-“
“I know what you mean” he said. A beat of silence hung in the air. You snorted.
“I don’t think I’m your type” you shook your head and picked up the first dress again. It was the winner.
You struggled to rip the tag off an Felix came over, gently taking the dress from you and easily ripping the tag off.
“Thanks” you said.
“I don’t think I’ve ever really had a type, but lately the only person I can think about is you” he said in a small voice. Another beat of silence.
“My mind has always registered how attractive you were, and maybe it makes me selfish, but I was never bothered by it until I realized you weren’t mine. It makes me nervous”
“Nervous of what?” You asked.
“Nervous that someone will take you”
“That’s not a reason to guilt trip me into not going on a date”
“I’m not meaning to. I’ve just never had to confront my feelings before now”
“Now that someone else is showing me attention?” You sighed and looked down, before looking at your best friend once more.
“I’m sorry Felix, I love you. You’re my best friend. But I’m not canceling on this guy just because you suddenly feel possessive” you held his hand and squeezed as you spoke in a soft voice. You had had feelings for Felix, but it made you mad that he dictated when you acted on them.
“I’m sorry” he said after a moment of silence passed between you two. He took a step back and sat on your bed.
“Can you at least put that first dress back on for me?“ he asked as the smile returned to his face. You laughed, and obliged.
The next day Felix was a mess at practice.
“What in the world is going on?” Bangchan asked. Felix shook his head.
“I’m fine” Felix said quickly.
“My toes disagree. You kept stepping on them” Han added as he rubbed his foot.
“I’ll focus. I promise” Felix defended.
“We need a snack break anyways. Felix, could you call-“
“She’s on a date” the words spilled out of Felix’s mouth before he has time to process them. He didn’t like how the phrase sounded coming out of his mouth. Silence filled the room as the realization hit each member.
“Not with you?” Jisung asked from his spot on the floor. Changbin smacked his shoulder.
“I’m just saying I thought Felix would’ve asked her out after we said something yesterday” Jisung defended.
“I did” Felix said in a small voice. Followed by a beat of silence.
“Oh man, I’m so sorry. Rejection sucks but I have this great magazine-“
“It’s fine. I was just too late. She deserves freedom to date… other guys… and spend time with other guys… that aren’t me” Felix’s voice trailed off as Bangchan distracted by saying break was over.
“But my toes…”
That night, Felix texted you to let him know when you were home. He waited for a response and noticed you hadn’t posted anything on Snapchat or Instagram. Could you really be having such a good time that you weren’t posting anything? Was this guy so great that you were too distracted to text your best friend? Felix pushed these thoughts away and tried to not over react.
Finally, nearly an hour later, you texted him that you were home. Springing from his bed, he grabbed a jacket and headed for the door. He texted saying he was on his way.
“Heading to y/ns?” Jisung asked.
“Of course” Felix said. He wasn’t sure if he was happy or apprehensive about what you were going to say about your date.
“Don’t worry. I won’t let Bangchan know you are sneaking out” Jisung said with a thumbs up.
“But I’m… I’m right here…” Bangchan said in a small, confused voice from his spot on the couch right next to Jisung.
Felix got to your door and turned the key. You greeted him in the kitchen, already pouring two glasses of wine.
“Hey” you handed him his glass and cheers.
“Here’s to great guys” you toasted. Felix couldn’t bear to take a sip after hearing you.
“So… the date went well” he placed his glass on the counter. He no longer wanted to be here.
“Oh, no. The date was awful” you said handing him back the glass. You realized your sarcasm must’ve been lost on him.
“And he was dull. I would’ve ended the date sooner but my phone died and I didn’t have my charger. I had to wait for him to stop talking to ask for a ride home”
Felix smiled.
“At least pretend to be upset that I had an awful night” you said with a laugh.
“Let me make it up to you. Our date won’t be dull. I’ll remember your charger. And you can wear that dress” he walked over to you as you wrapped your arms around him and held him in a tight hug.
“Or don’t wear the dress if you want to show me those kinks you were talking about…” you slapped his shoulder but felt very much at home in his arms.
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akachaan · 4 years
Text
the golden-winged king [xiao]
genre: angst
warnings: death, blood
notes: pls im so proud of this writing BYE
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The gentle chirps of birds graced Xiao’s ears. He recognized this as a melody of nature, the sunlight cascading a loving warmth onto his pale skin. Lush and rich grass blew in the breeze, one of the few somethings that Xiao actually appreciated from the Wind Archon. He chuckled breathlessly, a feeling of lighthearted mischief settling upon him. Xiao imagined how Venti would pout and scold him for his unbearably disrespect remarks, as he liked to call them. The grass entwined itself into his gloved hand like a silky ribbon. The light, fluffy clouds passed by, drifting away like dandelion seeds floating in the winds.
Xiao’s legs began to ache— the reason unknown —so he’d sat himself down, assuming he’d been basking in the beauty of the flower field for much too long. Ah, flowers. He’d almost forgotten just how intricately designed they were. Well, as a Guardian Yaksha, there’s only so much you can stop and admire. What were the names of these? The petals were pale blue from the bottom fading into a remarkable teal color, four pastel purple strands sprawling out from the top.
Glaze lilies, he recalled. These flowers only bloom once sung to, yes? He remembers this from a certain... human. He smiles fondly at the thought of them. “Xiao, Xiao!” A familiar and soft voice called. Speak of the devil.
Xiao turned to them, and his breath was caught in his throat. It’s like time slowed down, just for them. Just for him. He took a deep breath, his eyes softening, showing vulnerability he’d been hiding for a millennia. Your shining, soft locks framed your face, [c] eyes shining with love and purity. Xiao had seen skies like an ethereal dream, twinkling like sparklers trapped in the deep cerulean sky... But none of those galaxies and any to come would even compare to your radiant image. You were an angel sent from heaven, one to remind him what life can truly bring upon humanity; people like you.
You were like his little secret of sorts. Not a secret of the world. Anyone could meet or find [Name]. He knew anyone could come and sweep you away from him— though he doesn’t enjoy thinking of such ideas —he knew. It could happen. But, he also knew, and he trusted that you wouldn’t truly leave him, after all they’ve been through. He knew that you confined in him just as he did you, he felt like he was finally certain in his eternity of suffering and emptiness. Days that went by where he felt as if he were just existing. He was not living, he never was. Xiao was simply a guardian, assigned to protect Liyue until he drops dead from exhaustion. He was existing as The Guardian Yaksha, Conquerer of Demons.
But with you, he was not any of those. He was not just existing, watching over a nation til his last breath. Your presence alone made him feel warm. Him feeling was already an achievement in itself, after all these years as standing on the sidelines, secluded; no matter how close to Liyue he physically was, he felt so different and disconnected from his people. He’d only be remembered as tale to be told. The way that you made him feel. Not only have you made him feel, you’ve made him feel warm. A ‘warmth’ that he wishes to bask in for the rest of his existence. Warmth. Xiao knew this wasn’t the word to describe how he truly felt. By definition, yes, Xiao admits, albeit hesitantly. But he couldn’t help but feel it was so much deeper than that. You made him feel a warmth that burned his insides. The feeling had words caught in his throat, he often struggled to form a single coherent sentence when you eyes twinkled with a joy he can’t quite grasp. It made him stutter, the way you looked so blissed and euphoric in his company. He loved it. He loved how the butterflies in his stomach never seized, fluttering and flying with each second. His heart raced like a tiger running after its prey, running at miles per minute. He felt so human. So alive. So loved, and he’s finally experienced what it’s like to love. He never wanted it to end.
You laid yourself onto the luxuriant meadow of nature, the blades of green tickling at your cheek. The sun caressed your skin like a mother would her child, giving you an angelic-like glow. Your eyes had drew closed as you listened to what was around you. Distant animals chirping and buzzing filled your ears along with the synchronized breathing of you and the boy next to you. You smiled, your heart thumping against your chest as savored the peace of this moment.
Xiao turned his head to admire the gift the Archons had given him. He saw how amicable this whole ordeal was and how much you were enjoying it. It wasn’t everyday the two of you had the time to lay down and appreciate each other and what the Earth truly had to offer, though I’m sure that’s been made clear. The soft whisper of his name felt like a melody being sang to him, and he couldn’t help but smile.
Another sweet murmur of his name was called. And another. And another. Xiao grew worried. With every purr of his name, he could hear desperation and panic in your tone. That alone had him sick to his stomach. He sat up, his eyes now greeted with an all-too-familiar setting.
The sky was dark with stormy clouds, rain thundering heavily onto the bloodstained ground. The air was no longer crisp and clean but instead reeked of the metallic scent of blood and sweat. He could almost taste the blood on his lips. Xiao looked at his hands, dirtied and course with dried ichor. What was once his peaceful escape of serendipity was now a horrid sight of what he used to be. The murderous machine of what he promised himself to cast away since The Archon War. Screams of retreat, pain, defeat and victory mixed in his head, which was now throbbing from the sudden change in scenery. Why was he here?
More importantly, where were you?
“Xiao... Thank god you’re alive.” Your broken voice chuckled, growing dryer in the passing seconds. His head snapped to you, who was laying on the floor, absolutely beaten up. His heart ached at the sight, and he reached to gently cup your face, as if one wrong move could completely shatter you. You gasped for air before continuing, “I knew you would survive. There’s,” You paused to cough harshly, your body crumbling as the cough was let out, “no way the Xiao I know would loose to anyone.” He pulled you closer to his lap, panic and adrenaline coursing through his veins. He knew there was nothing he could do. But he still tried. He still tried to grasp onto what little hope he had left; it was all happening too quickly.
“Hang on. I’ve got you, okay?” He choked out after the initial shock. The time you have left and the time he would be able to get you proper medical attention were so obviously not in his favor. He picked you up, carrying you on his back. And he just ran. His legs moved like he was going to die if he didn’t hurry. Quite frankly, he would most definitely die emotionally. Xiao couldn’t loose you. Not now, not ever. He wanted to live with you until your died of old age, peacefully where you could’ve smiled on your deathbed. He remembers how you used to get mad at him for carrying you like this. The way your cheeks heated up and you buried your face into his neck always got a goofy smile on his face. But now, you were clinging onto his back as best you could— though it was a loose grip, you used what energy you had left in you to let him know you were still there with him.
But soon, too soon, you wouldn’t be, and you both knew it. “Xiao,” you called weakly.
“I said hang on. I’ll get you medical help soon. Please, keep your eyes open. You still have time.”
“Xiao...”
“You can’t leave me like this. I swore to hold you and protect you and love you for the rest of my life. Out of the many promise I’ve broken I can’t... I can’t break this one.”
“Xiao, listen...” The utter amount of suffering in your voice tore him apart more than the searing pains in his limbs. He knew he wouldn’t be able to make it in time no matter how fast he ran. So he obliged to your request and set you in his lap once again. He stared at your face, covered in dirt and scars. Yet you still looked at beautiful as ever.
“Please. Don’t go. I won’t know what to do without you.”
“I’m always here with you even if...” You trailed off, both from the lack of oxygen you had and the discomfort of finishing your own sentence. You felt tears brimming in your eyes, as you saw Xiao in such a vulnerable and tormented state. “Xiao...”
He caressed your face like a mother would her child. The sting of his heart drowned any physical injuries he had. Nothing would hurt more than the thought of losing you. The grass scratched at your cheek, and you winced at the feeling. Xiao tucked a hair strand behind your ear. As he leaned down to press his forehead against yours.
“Xiao... You are and forever will be my Golden-Winged King.”
And that was when the tears spilled. Your body went cold and limp in his own very hands, your eyes that shone with love and purity where now dark and lifeless. The smile that lit up his world was gone; replaced with a face of sorrow eternally etched onto your features. Xiao wondered. Death was a pitiful punishment, yet somehow so enchanting. You still looked as heavenly as ever. It was only then the pain of truly losing you settled in. You were never going to grace his ears with your melodic voice. You were never going to grace his eyes with your smile. You were never going to grace his senses with your adoring hugs.
You were never to grace his life again.
The Golden-Winged King had a fall from grace, just as you did in his own very arms.
259 notes · View notes
mizunetzu · 4 years
Note
PART 3 OF ITS YOUR FAULT PLS !!!! I LOVE IT EKDBJSHD
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Well since y’all asked so nicely-
——————
Kuroo x reader - it’s your fault (pt. 3) (final)
⚠️warnings - angst
Pronouns - male, he/him
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part 1 can be found here!
part 2 can be found here!
——————
Sports sucks. That’s what Kuroo knew about (y/n), yet he still egged him on to play volleyball with him. He had a choice to say no, which was what younger him was hoping for, yet he still did it in hope of gaining his affection.
All his life he thought he was annoying. All his life he’d been in the mindset of how annoying he was, and how blissful it would’ve been for him to just disappear off the face of the earth.
So when (y/n) suddenly stopped showing up to practice, Kuroo didn’t expect himself to get worried.
He was starting to miss all the clingy touches, or the ‘good morning, Kuroo-kun!’ every single morning practice. He didn’t realize how quiet the walk was to his classes, or to and from home, when (y/n) wasn’t there to fill the noise on random things he found cool or how his day was. He didn’t know how expensive the drink (y/n) religiously bought him from the vending machine was, even though he bought him the drink with a smile plastered on his face like it was nothing.
“Oh, (y/n)? He quit the team.”
Kuroo dropped the volleyball he was holding. He’d gone up to coach nekomata to ask where (y/n) was, and why he wasn’t showing up to practice. But he was regretting asking in the first place. Nekomata gave him a sympathetic look.
Kuroo picked up his volleyball, gave him the best smile he could afford, and walked away. Why was he so devastated? Why did his heart feel like it sunk into his stomach? Why was his chest hurting like that? He should’ve been glad that (y/n) was finally gone.
So why does his heart hurt so much?
————
Kuroo figured he’d stop by his apartment to see what was going on. It’s been weeks, yet he couldn’t find him anywhere in his classrooms, and he nor Kenma could reach him on his phone.
When he walked up the stairs, looking for the ever familiar door to his apartment, he was nervous. For once in his life when going to talk to the boy, he was nervous. It wasn’t a good feeling, he never felt nervous to talk to him before.
When he noticed the door slightly ajar, he clutched the apology basket of sweets in his hand tighter. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to apologize for, though. Maybe for yelling at him, or maybe for something else.
“...hello? (Y-y/n)?” When he opened the door, he was met face to face with construction workers, and a blank apartment. Kuroos heart stopped beating. A man, who Kuroo believes was the apartment owner, looked at Kuroo, to his schools jacket, and down to his basket saying “I’m sorry (y/n) :(“
“Oh? Are you here for that (h/c)-haired kid?” Kuroo nodded vigorously.
“Sorry bud. He moved out a few days ago.” Kuroo couldn’t hide the devastated frown from tugging at his lips. He mumbled a small “sorry” and spedwalked out of the building.
He spammed (y/n’s) phone, probably texting more than he ever did his whole life combined, with “where are you’s” and “hey look I’m sorry, okay? Please answer me’s”
None of them were even read.
Kenma didn’t react well to knowing one of his best friends moved away so suddenly. Unlike Kuroo, (y/n) was good friends with him, practically attached to the hip. When Kuroo told him he couldn’t find (y/n) at his apartment, Kenma clutched his ds harder and glared at the screen like it was it’s fault for making him disappear.
But as much as Kenma blamed the ds, they both knew it was Kuroos fault.
———
Kuroo strived to be a better person. He came to terms with his feelings for (y/n), and how he could never repeat his mistake again.
He grew to love (y/n), and he messed it up so bad.
He’d be sure to never lead anyone on again, minus when he’d lead his team to victory as their new captain. He’d try and hold less grudges, tell someone when he doesn’t like them, as to let them down easy instead of blowing up in their face, and even bought his team snacks and filled up their water bottles during practice.
Kuroo walked around the unknown streets of miyagi, scanning his eyes for a mop of bleached hair. He knew Kenma got distracted on his phone, but this was excessive, even for him.
Eventually, his eyes landed on two bright figures. Kenmas usual bright blond hair, and a tuft of orange next to him.
“Kenma!”
Kenmas head whipped up, and he shut off his phone, but then a flash of (h/c) came into his peripherals. He looked a little further down and locked eyes with someone who made his throat close up.
(Y/n).
He looked older. Not in the way that he looks physically older, but he carried himself with a somewhat mature, grown stance that made Kuroo so a double take. His hair was slightly longer and he was wearing a black team jacket instead of the red Nekoma jacket he used to wear. Shocked (e/c) colored eyes morphed into an expression of pure resentment, making Kuroos shocked happiness short lived. Kenma walked up next to him, about to ask what happened when Kuroo turned his head away, walking with his head down.
Kenma waved bye to Hinata, when his eyes landed on (y/n). He was talking to a silver headed guy, with a distasteful frown directed at Kuroo. He didn’t say anything though, just ducked his head and walked beside his captain.
———
(Y/n) kept his eyes fixed on the ground, as Nekoma and Karasuno stood in a line, facing eachother. Kenma was practically standing in front of him, shocked to the core, but also averting his gaze. Not just because (y/n), but Hinata next to the boy was staring at him with his mouth agape.
Eventually everyone filed into the gym, Hinata stopping Kenma to talk, while taketora eyed him menacingly. (Y/n) side-eyed the little interaction with an unwanted jealousy. He wanted to talk to Kenma, he WAS his childhood and best friend. But it soon dissipated when he felt a hand on his shoulder.
That jealousy turned into hatred.
“Can we talk, (y/n)?”
(Y/n) slapped Kuroos hand away and stepped past him, pushing him back slightly with his shoulder.
“Don’t call me that. You have no right. It’s
(L/n).”
Kuroo watched as (y/n) stepped into the gym, his lips pressed into a fine line.
—————
(Y/n) sat on a bench in the corner with an obviously closed off aura, watching as people set up the net or the players from both schools talked to eachother. He walked as Kuroo shook hands with Daichi, not noticing the mop of bleached hair sit himself next to him. (Y/n) flinched when he felt something brush his shoulder.
He whipped his head around to find Kenma, sitting right next to him, but looking straight in front of him. He said nothing, and fiddled with his fingers. Guess he didn’t change, even after a new school year.
(Y/n) relaxed a bit and went back to stalking his team and old teammates with a somewhat less intimidating aura. They sat in heavy silence for what seemed like forever, until (y/n) coughed into his Karasuno jacket.
“S-so how you been Ke-“
“So you’re just not gonna tell me why you left?”
Kenma was looking straight at (y/n), with his normal, neutral gaze. It looked like his normal face, but (y/n) knew how hurt he was. He understood, though. He would be hurt too if his best friend moved without saying goodbye.
“I’m...I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine.”
More silence consumed them. Sounds of sneakers squeaking and the rustle of the net being hung up seemed to vanish under the cloud of quiet sheltering them. Kenma stood up.
“I’m not mad. But I know why you left. And I’m not saying it’s a stupid reason, but you should talk to him.”
Kenma walked away without another word, leaving (y/n) to trail his eyes over to his old teammate, now captain. The frown that summoned up on his face came naturally, despite taking Kenmas words to heart.
He also stood up, brushing himself off and turning his cheery attitude back on. Why play a game with a frown when you’re about to destroy your old team?
—————
(Y/n) wasn’t mad he lost. He was actually quite satisfied with ticking off some of his old teammates by receiving spikes or feints no one saw coming. He sort of felt like an inside man. A spy even. It wasn’t enough to secure a win, but (y/n) never really cared for that.
Everyone was bidding their new friends goodbye, or just idly standing by. He promised Kenma to unblock his number, but only if they never talked about Kuroo again. (Y/n) knew he was being petty, but if it meant never talking to that piece of shit again, so be it-
“Stop ignoring me.”
Speak of the fucking devil. (Y/n) didn’t turn around, choosing to clutch the edge of his black jacket instead.
“Then stop trying to fix a friendship that never existed, Kuroo.”
“Oi!” Kuroo grabbed onto (y/n’s) shoulder harshly, pulling him back and making him stumble a little. (Y/n) pried and clawed at Kuroos iron hard grip. As much as he hated to admit it, he missed Kuroos touch, a lot.
“Can we please have a civilized fucking conversation? I’m fuckin begging you here!”
“Stop fucking cursing and let go of me you fuckass scheming bitch!”
(Y/n) swung at Kuroos head, but avertedly missed. He wasn’t sure if he missed on purpose, or if Kuroo ducked. Kuroo grabbed onto (y/n’s) waist, earning a choked squeak, and hauled him over his shoulder. Kuroo looked for a secluded area, ignoring the fists digging repeatedly into his back and the confused stares he got passing by his team and (y/n’s) teammates.
Kuroo practically threw (y/n) off his back, him stumbling down and hitting the back of a wall a bit harshly, and trapped him between his body and the wall. Both of his hands were on either side of (y/n’s) head, and his legs were long enough to trap him in if he tried to escape.
(Y/n) shrunk back into the wall ever so slightly, but kept the scowl present on his face. Kuroo pursed his lips and sighed.
“(Y/n)-“
“Let me go. I don’t wanna tal-“
“GODDAMNIT (Y/N) IM BUSTING MY BALLS HERE TO TELL YOU THAT IM SORRY!” Kuroo slammed his hands against the wall again, earning a surprised flinch from the smaller boy. “FUCKING LISTEN TO ME! PLEASE!”
Kuroos eyes softened a bit when he finally met eyes with (y/n’s) petrified form, cowering against the wall with his arms tucked in shakily. (Y/n) was quick to push past Kuroo though, diving past him and turning around, free from the wall.
“You see-this is what I fucking hate about you! You act so slick and perfect to the point where you lead people on to think they mean something important to you! I wanted to be a writer, Kuroo! I gave that up to spend my time bouncing a fucking volleyball around with you, and what did I get?! Nothing! I only did it for your stupid friendship, yet I didn’t even get that!”
(Y/n) practically had steam rolling out up his ears, and his words dripped with pure hatred with each retort. Kuroo opened his mouth to speak, but (y/n) beat him to it.
“So if you really want to apologize, give me back the blood sweat and tears I wasted on this stupid volleyball shit!”
(Y/n) punched at Kuroos chest with trembling hands. He kept punching and hitting Kuroo until Kuroo gently grabbed his wrists and pulled him into a hug. Kuroo felt him balling his fists into his back, trying to push him away, but he knew he was stronger. (Y/n’s) mouth was muffled by the cloth of Kuroos shirt, yet he still kicked and screamed at the top of his lungs.
“LET ME GO! I WANT MY CHILDHOOD BACK! I WANT ALL THE YEARS I COULD’VE BEEN WRITING OR LITERALLY BE DOING SOMETHING I ACTUALLY FUCKING LIKE BACK! ITS YOUR FAULT! ITS YOUR FAULT THAT MY ARMS HURT EVERYDAY! ITS YOUR FAULT I GAVE UP ON WRITING! ITS YOUR FAULT! I HATE YOU! I HATE VOLLEYBALL! I FUCKING HATE YOU! I hate you! I-I hate...I....”
Yelling turned into incoherent sobs as (y/n’s) punches died out into love taps. Kuroo said nothing, rubbing circles onto (y/n’s) back, who finally gave up and weakly wrapped his arms around Kuroos waist. He stained Kuroo with his salty tears, choking out half assed “let me go”s in between hics and sobs like a broken record.
They stood like that in comfortable silence, Kuroo combing fingers through (y/n’s) hair while the smaller boys sobs turned into occasional sniffles. Kuroo rocked gently from side to side, attempting to calm him down until he was ready to talk.
“I just wanted to be your friend, stupid Kuroo...” his words were barely understandable through the cracks and sniffles of his voice-also being muffled by Kuroos chest-but the taller boy heard every word as clear as day. He rested his chin on top of (y/n’s) head, looking off to the side.
“Sorry. If it means anything, I was stupid enough to hold a childhood grudge against you. You did nothing wrong. I just...i was dumb and disliked you because I thought you were lazy and annoying even though you were anything but that and...yeah. Sorry.”
Kuroo pulled away from the hug, the cold air hitting (y/n) like a truck. He silently whined at the loss of contact, wiping away stray tears with his team jacket. Kuroo awkwardly held his hands behind his back, his tongue suddenly feeling too big to fit comfortably in his mouth.
“...I’m sorry too.”
(Y/n) averted his gaze, his eyes half lidded and puffy from crying. Kuroo looked at (y/n) with a blank expression.
“Why?”
“For um...being annoying or something. And like...bitching a lot. I’m sorr-.”
Kuroo grabbed hold of (y/n’s) shoulders and shook him violently. “Don’t apologize! You don’t have anything to be sorry for! It’s my fault! Let me take the blame!”
“God shut up you’re gonna make me cry again.”
“...sorry.”
Kuroo looked like a kicked puppy, which made (y/n) burst into a fit of laughter. Kuroos ears perked up as he was graced with the sight of (y/n) wiping happy tears off his face and clutching his stomach. It was a beautiful sight, so beautiful that it made Kuroos chest tighten.
Chuckles died out into snickers as (y/n) huffed and leaned against the wall.
“So-what are we? Friends?”
Kuroo hesitantly nodded, watching (y/n’s) face intently for any sign of protest. When (y/n) broke out into a smile, Kuroo felt like he was on cloud nine. Like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders after so long. He felt like he was flying.
“We should probably head back. I gotta go back to my schoo-“
“Yeah. Yeah that’s probably..smart...”
It was kind of bittersweet knowing you had to say goodbye to someone you just got your hands back on, but after (y/n) unblocked his number right infront of him before enveloping him in a hug, he supposed it was alright.
“Bye~! call me~” (y/n) mouthed out, stepping onto the bus. People started asking him if he was crying, or what that meltdown was about, but he just shrugged and put some earbuds in with a reserved smile.
Sports sucks. That’s the mindset (y/n) has, and probably will have forever.
But not when I’m with you.
——————
Epilogue:
“(Y/n)!” Kuroo ran up behind the boy and picked him up, twirling him around before setting him down. Tsukishima visibly gagged while Yamaguchi snickered behind him, stepping off the bus and preparing for the training camp.
“Yo! What’s up! God I missed you and your stupid hair.”
“I missed you too~”
...
“So...are we-“
“Yeah, that’s what we said on video chat right? I mean-if you meant it and all.”
“I DID!” Kuroo picked his new boyfriend up, this time placing a chaste kiss on the bridge of his nose.
“And god I love you so much.”
——————
And that’s it!! I hope you enjoyed this series!! Also thank you for 100 followers!! I’m so thankful!!
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lovely-necromancy · 3 years
Text
A Cure for Insomnia Ch 19
Your bags were jumping and sliding around in the back of Madeline's rusty pickup truck. She had been kind enough to offer you a ride up to the lodge when she stopped by the shop earlier.
Madeline had seen the sour look Nate kept sending you and how you were intentionally not looking over towards the soon to be graying young man. Not one to beat around the bush she asked what was up, mam bear mode peeking through.
Nate was just being a dick to you and saying you had to stay with the Cowells longer than what had originally been agreed to. Big Jo seemed fine about letting you go back home now, even with your resolve set to continue hanging out with Toby. But Nate was trying to put a tight leash on you since you “wouldn't listen to reason” - so he said.
Even with security at the cottage updated Nate still thought it best to keep you with them if you were planning to still interact with Toby. More than likely he was trying to make that harder for you to do since staying with them would definitely make it easier for him to keep track of you.
The thought alone set shivers down your spine. Like a constrictor slithering up your back to rest around your neck and do what it does best.
It had been really hard to breathe these last few days.
But all Madeline needed to hear was “Nate” and “being a dick” before she said she'd take you herself. Thereby ending the conversation and silent argument in the shop, as she spun on her heel stating when she'd pick you up later.
Nate hadn't been too happy about the exchange but he could suck your dick. He's been annoying you with all this Toby bullshit and doesn't get to tell you what he thinks right now.
The drive up is silent, but that comfortable kind of silence between two old friends who don't ever really have a need to talk to hang out. It's nice because it gives you tons of time to think about just what you're about to do.
Going over several scripts all at once in your head.
You want to talk to Toby. You still haven't read that file but it just doesn't sit right with you that it was ever even given to you in the first place. Toby being completely unaware of the total breech of privacy makes your stomach flip just like your bags in the back right now. It's not like you ever asked for the detailed life file but at the same time it feels wrong not to let Toby know tht something like that even exists for him. His past being dug back up all without his knowledge or consent. And now here you were about to lay it right down in front of him.
Was this the right move? You're the one bringing it to his attention, if it's something that will mess him up it'll be your fault that he's upset. Jo and Nate may have gotten the information but you still count yourself as being a complacent party to all of this.
Your stomach feels like it's on a drop tower as it sinks further into a pit of guilt.
You feel like the scum of the Earth right now. Hopefully he isn't too upset.
Seeing your downcast eyes, you were a lot more expressive than you ever really realized, Madeline pipes up, “You gon' be ok there sport?”
A small smile bit at your lips. There's a reason Madeline Cobb was known in Kepler as Mama. She took care of those she saw as her own and that was damn near half the town at this point. Hell you'd heard a rumor she raised most this town. The lodge had been her orphanage  before all the kids grew up and turned it into a resort once new arrivals stopped coming. That's probably the reason it's always been so warm and welcoming, it was a home first.
“Yea...just nervous.”
She lets out a small chuckle at you.
“Don' be, 'm sure that Toby boy will say 'yes'. And if he don' well you just come find me. I'll set him right.”
Ok now you were just confused.
“Huh?”
“Don' worry about it, he likes you jus' like you like 'im. It'll work out for you two.” she reaches over and ruffles your hair before jumping out of the pickup. You hadn't realized you were already at your destination.
And it was too late to correct Mama, she'd already made it inside the lodge, about why you were so nervous. The warmth in your face makes you even more grateful for your mask. Barclay was getting bit by the end of the night, the man really needed to get a boyfriend and stop trying to manifest one for you.
The door to the lodge opens again, you hardly paid it any mind. So lost in your own musing you didn't even notice the man walking towards you. Your goat plush had fallen beneath your seat and you were attempting to grab it but it was too far out of your reach.
“You good there?” Toby's amused voice calls, startling you.
Popping your head out of the opened car door. Heart racing faster at the sight of your friend standing there with a small smirk on his bandaged face. You weren't ready for this.
His eye looks better, well like a normal black eye and not a swollen lump that threatened to over take his socket. Now his eye looked like it could still function out of the slight opening. Fuck this was hard enough when you'd pictured only one eye looking at you but now you had to calculate for both!?
Is it weird that this is what worries you? Are you derailing from the actual situation? Distracting yourself so the conversation is easier on you. So you don't have to think about the possibility that Toby won't want to be friends after this. That he'll end up hating you for something you hadn't done.
God you really want to cry.
“Hey, space cadet.” Toby's made his way over to your side and puts a gentle hand on you knee, “You ok? Did something happen?”
He's really sweet, you're going to miss him.
No, stop. You need to get a grip and stop thinking like this. Toby will understand and you guys can continue being friends, a bit awkwardly but still friends. You'd get to hang out and maybe wander through the Monongahela together.
“I...I dropped my goat.”
He cocks his head to the side, brows slowly smoothing out and he gives a gentle squeeze to your legs as he reaches under you, hand searching for your lost plush.
The warmth that was once collecting in your cheeks shoots down past the void sitting in your stomach. Just another thing to add to your list you suppose. After a week of nearly no privacy or comfort you are thoroughly pent up. You don't necessarily want Toby, just need someone or something to help relieve the fire between your thighs. He just happens to be in proxcimity of that fire, poking the flame that hasn't been snuffed during your stay with the Cowells, making it dance and writhe reminding you of the need.
But you can't focus on that yet, you'd give yourself a hand when you finally got back home. Right now you needed to focus on Toby. And having that uncomfortable conversation.
“Here he is.” placing the goat in your lap he looks into your eyes, a slight glint in his.
He's in a really good mood tonight. You have to ignor the whispers in your head, telling you you're about to ruin this for him.
Luckily a tic to the right shoos those thoughts away for you.
“YN?” his hand is back on your knee, it's such a small gesture maybe even completely subconscious but it helps ground you.
You haven't read that file but you can't see Toby ever doing something awful enough to warrant Nate's barrage of paranoia and fear. Even if he did....he couldn't still be bad right? You're such a good judge of character and you called Brian on his masking there's no way you'd miss Toby lying to your face.
“I...” he's looking into your eyes searching as you take a steadying breath, “I just really need a slushie right now.” your eyes drop to the goat in your hands.
You fucking coward.
It's silent for a moment as you chastise yourself for not just coming out and telling Toby you wanted to talk. Toby's hand falls easily from your knee and to his side.
“A'right then, you good to drive?” you really missed your chance here, “'cuz Brian's got Connor tonight.”
Wait what?
You look at Toby who simply raises the right side of his mouth in a lopsided grin. A subtle raise of his right brow tells you he understood what you'd asked for. When was the last time anyone was ever able to read you so well?
“Yes!” you push the goat into Toby's chest and practically dive into the back seat for your bags. “I can drive. Franklin?”
“Don't work tomorrow, so sure.”
His good mood seems to pick back up a bit. He's chuckling as you rush to gather everything and head over to your car, barely shutting Mama's door as you do. Toby gives it a good bump with his hip to make sure it shut properly. He unlocks your car for you and slides into the passenger's seat while you arrange your shit in the trunk.
You catch sight of the skull still in your trunk and figure you'll just leave it as is for now. Since it seems that literally every time you close this trunk you forget it exists. Bye weirdly placed deer skull maybe one day you'll have a wall mount worthy of your beauty.
Before closing the trunk you do rab the file. Maybe having it up front with you will help you actually tell Toby about it.
When you open the driver's side Toby's hand is already outstretched and waiting for your phone, this isn't his first rodeo after all. You can't help but smile as you hand it right over to him. He notices, because of course he does, and beams back at you. Sending more warmth throughout your body. After collecting your emotions the guilt comes back around.
You need to stop being horny on main. And in front of Toby no less. It's weird, like you're riled up for him and not because you're attention starved and haven't known solitude for over a week.
By the time you're driving off the lot Toby had picked you 'Let's drive to nowhere' playlist. A perfect choice for tonight, seeing as these are all either songs to dissociate to or have mental break downs with. And with you obnoxious emotions either is up for grabs. Aside from the music the car was silent as you drove out of town.
You were so wrapped up in what to say to Toby, how to say it, when – that you ended up not saying anything at all. Toby on the other hand couldn't wait for you any longer and broke the silence himself.
A habit he seems to have, must not like silences.
“Normally you don't shut up,” the words were harsh but his tone wasn't for once.
He watches as the scenery changes from quaint country road to interstate. “Did something happen?”
An awkward anxious smile makes its way on to your face. You've never been good at schooling your features and smiling was unfortunately your default in the even of confrontation. It was probably just your brain's way of protecting you from emotional trauma.
“Sorta.”
To his credit Toby waits for three full songs before prying for more information.
“Another attack?” he's on edge.
To be fair you are too.
“No, like hell Jo and Nate wo-would let me leave if that were it.” your head jerks twice to the right. You miss Toby's wince.
Nate barely let you leave the shop today, you had to get outside assistance aka Mama.
“Ok, so what happened then?” as you bit your lip trying to find your words Toby is running through his own list of possibilities. “Dis Ma- Tim do something to you?”
Huh?
Why would Tim have anything to do with this? Are they still fighting? But Brian has Connor tonight...that doesn't seem likely but you've really only hung out with Toby thus far. You don't know enough about their group dynamic.
You also didn't miss the beginning syllable Toby said. Was he trying to say 'Matt', 'Mark', 'Manny'? There were so many names that Tim's alter could have but at the least you've more or less been told there is an alter to begin with.
But why would Toby be concerned about Tim's alter? Was he the one that punched Toby? Were they actually the two fighting and not Tim and Toby? This is confusing just being on the outside, you have no idea how the trio copes with this situation.
“Oh no, Tim and Not Tim have been nice to me.” if you're coming clean about the file might as well come clean about knowing Tim has an alter. This way Toby could pass along the message to Tim and Not Tim.
“Back up, not liter-mrrow – literally. 'Not Tim'? You've met Mas-Ma-Masky?!”
Masky? That's a strange name, but who were you to judge the name someone gave themself. Maybe he's a He/Him enby.
“Not like formally or anything, but I'm pretty sure he was the one that helped me and Ronnie out the other week.” you switch lanes to drive off of the interstate, hoping to find a secluded road to have this conversation on.
God knows it's going to take all of your concentration.
Toby was seething in his seat and you know the tension is only going to get worse going forward.
You can hear him muttering to himself, 'of course' or 'he didn't remember', over and over. Finding a good place to park the car you take it and turn to Toby, who's still lost in his own head.
“Tobias.” you call trying to jostle him and it works a little too well in a sense. As he blurts out, “Don't! Masky's dangerous stay away from him!”
He immediately freeze like he hadn't meant to say that. And while it wasn't a tic it was probably an impulse brought on by his anxious frame of mind. He's popping his knuckles again too.
You don't know why you said it, looking at Toby's wide blown pupils – riddled with fear and nerves, you should've kept you mouth shut.
“Dangerous like you?”
Or at least phrased that a bit more eloquently.
Toby's eyes grow dark and his good eye cuts low nearly matching it's swollen twin. A shiver runs down your spine even though you know the malice is not for you.
“What.” he hisses out.
It's not a question, it's an order. He wants to know what you know and maybe even who told you. Maybe he thinks Masky told you something, since that was the topic of the previous conversation.
Dark eyes watch you like a hawk as you pull the file from the map holder in your door. His chest is nearly heaving with every breath at this point, can he hyperventilate? That's a dumb question he most certainly can. And he's either on his way to that or a panic attack. You hope you don't send him into a panic attack, Connor's not here to help. Connor know pressure though, Toby's had him preform it on you during your spells. Would it work the same if you laid on top of Toby? You're getting too distracted right now.
Not trusting yourself to not just back down now, you hold the folder out to Toby to take.
He's just staring at it like it'll attack him at any moment, and honestly it might...just not physically. He glances up at you. There's a funny flash of deja vu likening back to the first time you met. Cold indifferent and confused eyes looking at you as though you were some strange alien they'd never seen before. This time however there's a spark of something else in them. Something dark that festers beneath the surface. Was that hatred, betrayal, or was that the wall he was building back up. The wall that would sever this friendship.
Stop projecting. He hasn't even taken the file, he can't possibly know what's going on right now.
“What's that?” see.
“Nate got super protective after the attack, I guess the other day you just like rubbed him the wrong way. So, he had someone look into you. That file is everything they found...pretty sure it's your whole life, I swear I haven't read anything. Not even a peek. But Jo and Nate tried to tell me the-”
He snatched the file from you before you'd even said you hadn't looked. He opened it and a second later it was closed and he took a shaky breath before looking at you.
It was your turn to look like a deer in headlights tonight, you knew that breath was one of barely concealed rage. This was it, this was where everything ended, all because Nate had “a bad feeling” about Toby.
But you trusted Toby, he wouldn't hurt you. He was your friend.
“So” he lets out a harsh sigh, “you didn't...you haven't read anything?”
You hastily shake your head, “What did they tell you.” he looks off to the side and his mouth is all screwed up, and not in it's normal mangled sense.
“That I shouldn't see you anymore, you did something bad, awful, terrifying; Nate's list goes on but I sort of...fo the fingers in the ear 'lalala' thing” you say sheepishly, “anytime he tries to tell me something. Jo stops when I ask him to. He's not too worried about you...I think.”
Or he's working behind the scene to keep you and Toby separated for the long run but that's speculation and not the point of this conversation so you don't mention it.
Toby's flipping through the file skimming it, no doubt looking for his checkered past, he finds what he's looking for and nods once continuing on like he was reading a grocery list. Which he may as well have been, a grocery list of all his transgressions. With the way his fingers gripped the edges of the folder you could tell he was putting on a front about the contents.
They did bother him.
“Why didn't you look, why didn't you listen YN?” was he seriously angry at you for that?
“It was an invasion of your privacy. Whatever's in there I wanted you to have the ability to tell me on your own terms – if you ever even wanted to. Not because you were forced into it because I found out from some third party that doesn't even know you.”
“Then why the fuck did you -wrong- practically jump into a car with me and then hand me a file on my shitty life!?!” He slammed the file down into his lap with a lot of force, more than he should have used for sure. “They think I'm a menace and they're right you shouldn't have...you need to...” he trails off looking like he's trying to disintegrate the file in front of him with latent laser eye abilities.
His arms are shaking.
No – he's trembling. The way he's biting his lip tips you off. He's trying to hold himself together, trying to stop himself from breaking. This can't be the same person Nate's so worried about.
“You're biting your lip, that's not good for you.”
“Fuck off.” it's half hearted at best, no real weight behind the words. And he does let his abused lip go.
“It's a breech of trust if I didn't tell you this...I wanted to give you the file because you should know it's been read by two people, to my knowledge.” you place a hand on his forearm, “Toby, I don't know what you've done in the past but...you know you aren't that person now, right?”
He's out of the car in an instant, slamming the door behind him. You follow, as dumb as you understand it is, getting out of your car in the middle of no where with a very unstable person.
“Get back in the car. I mrrow I can't...I need a minute.” his shaking is so much worse now that he's standing, It's even put a tremble in his voice.
“You're stupid if you think I'm leaving you alone in the middle of no where.” you stand your ground, he may need space but this is not the place to have it. You're only a few miles from town, you can get him back to the lodge where he doesn't have to see or be near you.
Hell you won't say a word on the way back.
“Like you're not stupid for ignoring the warnings that I'm dangerous! I've killed people! Did you know that?! Did you even think that's what was so bad!?” he's giving you the same glare he had on when he talked about the fight with Tim.
“I could literally kill you right now, you've driven us out to who knows where but still remained in walking distance back to town. You live on the outskirts of it and it'd be so easy for me to make you disappear and everyone would believe your stalkers got to you.” his chest heaves at a vicious rate.
Despite the venom and truth of his words, you can't find it in you to be scared of him. If anything his rant proves Toby must not have been mentally well during his crimes, he's acting like a cornered alley cat not a serial killer. There's a vice grip on you heart at the thought.
“Ok...are you?”
It's like a switch has been flipped in him and he calms instantly.
“What?” he knows what you're asking.
“Are you going to kill me?” you asked like you'd been asking what time it was.
He stares at you looking you up and down, “No...I wouldn't.” his neck jerks triggering your own tic.
“Then I'm safe.” you slowly approach him, much like you would a feral alley cat. “I trust you Tobias.” you reach out to tough his arm again.
It hadn't worked in the car but Toby does seem to calm down faster when he's being touched. Like the sensation brings him back to reality and locks him there.
“Y-you shouldn'n'n't.”
He doesn't pull away this time as you place your hands gently on his forearms. His eyes raise to meet yours.
“...I've killed.”
He sounds so helpless.
The only thing you find shocking about this is that he actually did it. You know people are capable of all sorts of vile things. But the way Toby's voice breaks, the tremors that run through his body. You can't see any similarity with the horror show you once imagined, a Toby covered head to toe in blood and a vicious grin.
The fact that Toby killed doesn't really phase you much more than the ever present 'how' that rings out. He must have had a reason. Jo wasn't too worried so maybe it was circumstantial. Not to mention Toby's among the general public. Could it have just been an accident? A misunderstanding?
“I don't – no I'm not going to say 'I don't care', because this is something that really effects you but I...I guess what I'm trying to get at is..it doesn't bother me. I know it should but, Tobias I just can't picture you as a murderer.” that blood stained Toby flashes before you singing 'liar', “I got to know you before finding out any of this. So, I know there must've been a reason behind it. And that's...and you don't have to tell me anything.”
Nothing more is said, after all you've said everything you could think of to deescalate the situation. And Toby is frozen as he stares at you. You'd have thought he was dissociating had it not been for the way his eyes still held that tiny reflection of light. He was still present, just unsure how to proceed.
Honestly you were stumped too, you had no idea how to begin this conversation let alone end it.
“My – there was...” you rub his arm in a small circular motion. You don't need to hear anything more, it already feels like too much information that he'd lost the agency for.
But your gentle shushing did nothing because he continued, “Clairse says I had a psychotic break and...just went after the biggest stressor at the time.” he pauses with a deep breath and closes his eyes in the process. “She says it wasn't really my fault, I was under...a lot of – I wasn't there, where I should've been mentally. My dad was abusive...anyone in my situation would've broken at some point.”
His words are hollow and robotic. A mantra he's learned to say although he doesn't believe it.
You'd normally give someone the choice but this time you just slip you arms over his shoulders and pull him into a hug. There's no resistance from him either, if anything he leans into the embrace and grips onto your back. His trembling doesn't stop but it's softened by the pressure.
“You don't have to tell me anything Tobes. I don't want you to...not if it's this painful.”
“I want – want to tell you about Lyra.” his voice cracks in tandem with his neck as he says her name.
And he does tell you, against all your protests to take his time. He tells you everything laid out his whole life right in front of you. From being home schooled early on – isolated within his own home for years, to his older sister and her untimely accident that he's still clearly wracked with guilt about, and then the spiral that ended in patricide and a fire that ate his entire neighborhood.
By the end of his recounting he'd stopped trembling and letting out the occasional sniffle – and now the two of you were leaning on the hood of your car. Looking at the stars that just started coming out for the night, you occasionally whispered affirmations to Toby as he tells more stories from his childhood. The good ones this time.
His spirits aren't as high as they were when you'd started your evening but they're much better than they were two hours ago.
You chuckle as he finishes telling you about the time he and Lyra managed to sneak out of the house for a concert only to realize they had no way of getting back into the house when they returned. Their mom just opened the door letting them inside with a small crease in her brow but the smile that played at her lips told them everything they'd needed to know. They weren't in trouble, she'd sent them off to bed and in the morning asked how the show was. From the way Toby talked about his mom you can tell he really loves her. The feeling must've been mutual, if she sent them off to bed instead of dishing out a punishment all because Toby had smiled for the first time in weeks that night.
“Ah, favorite child Toby strikes again.” you joke.
This time Toby didn't say anything, you had been throwing small jokes in to help keep the mood light, but he just looked at you with his head tilted. A grim expression barely crossed his features before being replaced with a lopsided smile and warm but sad eyes.
“Y'kn – Kyra used to say that all the time.”
“Must be true then.”
He looks at his hands with the softest expression you've ever seen. It's an expression normally given to Connor, just sadder this time.
You nudge him getting his attention back to the present.
“You still want that slushie?”
He takes a moment to look around you and finally rests his gaze on the stars. “Not Franlin, not tonight.” he says focusing back on to you.
“Think we're two exits from Riverton if that helps. They have Wawas.”
“Wawas?” he chuckles.
You nod, “Yea they have smoothies and milkshakes.”
“Ooh la la.”
You both snort and head back into the car. It's surreal to be buckling back in, joking around with Toby when just hours prior you thought you'd be ending your friendship the moment you opened your mouth.
You can't help but ask, “Are we cool?”
“Yea...we're good. 's not like you fucking asked for the information.” he leans his head against the window and crosses his arms into himself.
“I'm still sorry about it though.”
“Know you are. But it's over now.” the finality of that statement takes the weight off of your shoulders. For the first time in days you can breathe again.
“Thanks for telling me everything...you didn't have to. But I appreciate you sharing it with me.”
His nails dig into his arms, or they would have if they weren't chopped down to the bit.
“I mrrow I-I didn't tell you everything...”
Nope this was over and done with, no more sad and scared Toby. You couldn't handle anymore, guilt had found a friend in discomfrot and the two had set out to eat you alive with every tremor that tore through Toby's body.
“What are you like a child murderer or something?” Giving a laugh to soften the joke.
….
You missed the way Toby tenses and sucks in a breath. His heart is beating wildly in his chest, so hard he's certain you hear it. Is that where you draw the line? Child murder. Of course you had to have some boundaries he couldn't just expect you to be cool with everything he's done. You were sure to figure it out sooner or later no thanks to your boss. But Toby couldn't loose you now. Not when you've been an anchor he hasn't had in such a long time. He feels almost human again when he's with you.
He's been quiet too long, at least he thinks he has. He needs to say something, joke around back and dismiss the notion. You can't know not now – maybe not ever.
“I'm trans!” he hadn't meant to blurt that out.
He stared at you with wide eyes. Why had he said that, that hadn't even crossed his mind. Just as he was about to laugh it off you reached over and lightly punched him in the arm. That small gesture sent a tickle down Toby's spine. It was such an innocent touch, but he was touched starved and knew it.
“I am too goof. Thanks for telling me but why the wait?”
Fuck now he had to think of something. Talking to you always made him so brain dead.
“Mrrow...mrr-you saw me as a man first...I wanted to keep it that way.” maybe he didn't have to make something up, just tell you the half truth.
Brian had questioned him when they got ready for the picnic why he hadn't worn his trans tie dye shirt and he's said he misplaced it. A bold lie to tell someone like Brian, especially since it'd been a gift from his mom. She had sent it in a care package last June. He'd never loose something his mom gave him, at least not so quickly. If he'd been being honest with himself at the time, he was worried about your reaction. Of course he knew you were trans too so not like you'd be one to be a transphobe, but he didn't want you to stop seeing him as a man and only see him as trans.
“Toby, you are a man. Nothing short of you telling me otherwise will change that for me.”
Toby isn't sure when you grabbed his hand but he's aware of your hold when you start to rub along his knuckles. He watches your thumb circle jis joints and pressing a bit into the divots as he takes another deep breath.
He gives his best smile, a lopsided uncomfortable looking thing, “I don't think I like when you call me Toby.”
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