#c-cuz ya know.. they kill for money and all that

[onlyzhuyilong]

So, about 消失的她//Lost In The Stars -

I have seen this film three times total - in the cinema (for science) - and it has been a while and I have some thoughts. These aren’t a play by play of the film though.

He Fei man oh man oh man - look at this - I feel it would be easier if I wasn’t a xiaolongbao

The scuba pics of Long Ge as WuXie Im threw me off like what Easter eggs are these. The portrait his wife drew him was a promo photo of WuXie xD lord help me.

Tuxedo beach scene on the big screen legit gave me chills it wasn’t hot it was the opposite of hot- yet I’m addicted to that scene? Like I want to fan vid edit it with some sort of song like Psycho by Red Velvet. I made a playlist for He Fei cuz man he’s a lot. Vampire by Olivia Rodrigo is there cuz lyrics. But anyways…

Without knowing I felt for He Fei, like his twitching and outbursts and episodes I figured okay…he need help. He needs lots of help.

But as soon as I found out he was a gambler, had a gambling addiction, it was game over. I was 80% done with him, because he’s definitely responsible for this somehow. I have seen what gambling addiction does from family members and it isn’t pretty.

Casino He Fei made me super uncomfortable - because I kept thinking he is going to destroy himself.

I felt like I had been played by him & the trailers because I felt sorry for him for months during the build up to this I was all “aw poor He Fei”. I needed a shower.

Just personally I found the film empowering? Because NiNi & Janice Man’s characters were so brave and intelligent in a way that was clever and super cool. I was cheering for them.

The hospital scene and Zhu Yilong speaking English being all “I’m okay, I’m okay,” and taking deep breathes - I was like “Aw baby you’re doing really well, I’m sorry this is happening to you.”

(I knew he was gonna be bald for this film during their filming thanks to youku paparazzi leaking pics on weibo).

I found the head shaving scene too much the first time because Zhu Yilong is just that good - the tears? Sir is incredible - I don’t think he even planned it. It is still intense.

Then comes the revelation - Chen Mai (NiNi) in her nurse’s disguise - getting the truth out of him in the best scene. My favorite scenes in this film are when Chen Mai and He Fei are arguing or having intense conversations because the way they bounce off each other. It’s so entertaining like get out the popcorn 🍿 I’m hear for the back and forth.

But the hospital scene is so intense when she has grabbed him by the collar, literally screaming at him “tell me where she is” as the clock is running down and finally he says the lighthouse. She has tears in her eyes at this point and He Fei is like “I left her under the lighthouse” (paraphrasing). He knew where his wife was the entire time.

The entire honeymoon was his plan to end his wife, why? She’s a billionaire- he’s a gambler - he thought she was gonna divorce him after he broke his promise of “never gambling again” and ended up 1) being 10 million rmb in debt 2) throwing a Chen YiMing worthy tantrum on being cut off from the company bank account in the deleted scenes, 3) her refusing to bail him out again. If he doesn’t pay the debts he’s gonna die - so he thinks she doesn’t care I’ll just stage her disappearance by killing her and then inherit everything.

And he had the audacity to say “she left me no choice - what happened to fulfilling marriage vows - for richer for poorer… she didn’t love me - she just cared about her money. Now if she just gave me 10 million rmb and been a good wifey we’d be cool.”

The only time I have been this furious at a Zhu Yilong character was Chen YiMing and I’ve seen most of his filmography. Although his Chi Rui role comes close but he was literally the worst and did the most horrible thing ( you can’t even guess what he did because it was that bad)- he comes close to He Fei. But Chi Rui got a nice happy ending (undeserved but ya know Chinese soap operas). He has played a con man years and years ago but redeemed himself by coming clean …his character has a bad ending too because obviously.

YeZun would look at He Fei and be like “you sir are trash…” and YeZun is also bad, but bruh.

So He Fei finds out one of the people at his diving school is rich, young and single - he wants a “sugar mama to fund his addiction” and to give him a nice life - so basically he cons his way into her life, into her heart, with Van Gogh and his damn cute face and mannerisms. But his eyes - there is an icy coldness and cruelty in them - it’s haunting tbh.

And he has a great life - she paid off his debts the first time which I was like “girl, if you gonna do that and give him your freaking credit card then you better send his cute assets to rehab abroad.” But nope - he swears in writing to quit gambling - so he works for her company, he enjoys a rich life of luxury, but he can’t stop gambling he’s an addict and he gets into big big trouble. And his wife is done with him.

I find it shocking that in the divorce papers he finds whilst stealing money (e.e while she was sleeping) he didn’t read the part where she would pay him 2 million rmb allowance after their divorce like she loved his dumb assets so much she would do that.

And so He Fei is like “welp I better do the worst thing ever”. So he sets it up - a one year anniversary honeymoon trip to fulfill the promise he made her when they met “see a starry night under the sea” and he will get all her money. Gross, He Fei, you’re so beautiful and ugly at the same time sir.

He promises her this cute trip over a home cooked meal and a candle lit dinner.

She was gonna tell him something over dinner but decides to wait until they’re on honeymoon. I kept thinking if she had told him beforehand none of this would have happened - but he already planned it out - how was the knowledge of her big surprise gonna change anything. Other than welp she won’t leave me now?

Back to the hospital scene and Chen Mai’s gone, He Fei is now very bald and alone in his pajamas - he breaks free, escapes and finds out he wasn’t the only one putting on a show.

This next revelation of Chen Mai being Shen Man - Li MuZi’s bestie from school - setting it all up with her theater trope to bamboozle He Fei into such a position where he was confess. Because she knew something was sus.

Sidenote Shen Man’s best director award looking like the palm d’or from Cannes …ahh could have been for this movie (or Only The River Flows but nvm)

And he learns it all, laughs and then his face is serious, and goes after NiNi and co, but they are standing there like 1000% done with him. I was done with him.

The police come, and his wife was in a cage under the sea. The scene is so sad - but I’m still furious at He Fei - but his poor wife just gave up and took off her oxygen mask and enjoyed the starry night under the sea. And we see what He Fei does - the whole lot - he locks her in, he sees her use the signals he taught her, we sees her reach out to him and twice, he looks back at her twice, and twice he swims away. And I’m like “no He Fei, what the fudge how can you swim away.” And in her one last attempt she tries to show him something but he’s swimming away. No matter how many times I see that scene it hurts.

But the surprises aren’t over yet. Oh no.

We cut to prison - He Fei laughing in jail when Shen Man asks if he regrets anything and he was like “yeah so I’m just pissed I didn’t find out about you earlier so I could have got you, too hahahahaha.” And I thought “ooh Long Ge got to be like the Joker like he always dreamed oh yay! Also boo you He Fei. Are you pretending to be crazy now? You’re just the worst.”

Shen Man is just broken at this point and she shows a photo she found with his wife under the sea. And oh it is just the Cherry on top of this nightmare sundae.

The scene cuts to Shen Man (NiNi) walking away, and such. I held it together until the revelation that He Fei didn’t just lock his wife in a cage under the sea with a bunch of toxic jellyfish to end her for her money.

But she was also pregnant with their child and we find out when He Fei does looking at the sonogram photo of it and I thought “oh my God He Fei!!.”

I lost it I was crying so hard - the ost (Cage) didn’t help - He Fei crying didn’t help because it’s ZYL’s dumb face crying - acting so well. I couldn’t even be angry anymore I was simply broken.

The end credits written saying He Fei met his end as punishment - I knew it was gonna happened but it felt like he got off too easily. Though my brother said “the best way to end him is to lock him in a cage under the sea with a bunch of jellyfish cuz it’s only fair.”

Yeah, but then we wondered what if he knew she was pregnant but judging by his reaction I really don’t think he did. Because it was rough. There is an end credits scenes which I was like ??? Basically, He Fei wakes up on the beach, he takes a photo of his wife and then runs into Janice Man’s Jane and Officer Zheng asking them to take a photo of him and his wife just having fun on the beach, and the scene ends with them holding hands, being cute on the beach. I felt so weirded out like no - commit to the nightmare don’t give me cute He Fei on the beach. 🤣

Zhu Yilong’s acting is sensational, like he was so good - I was and still am super proud. NiNi was excellent, Janice Man was great - everyone was so good.

Back in China some of the reviewers mentioned they couldn’t look at ZYL after seeing this film, cuz he made them so angry, but my brain was like He Fei looks nothing like Zhu Yilong. I have decided - the man is a chameleon. He Fei is He Fei and Zhu Yilong is Zhu Yilong - as he says.

And I needed to see him being just himself at the roadshows and stuff.

This film incredible - it’s a heartbreaking story - but brilliantly acted, directed.

[weirdcat1213]

trigun book club :D a great reason for re reading the manga and now more people will yell with me into the skies :D

my thoughts on the 1st half of volume 1 (chap 1 - 6) below

chap 1:

-the babygirl :3

-maybe im reading too much into it but i like the page where millie and Meryl are introduce cuz it gives them attention (and not in a sexualized way :D). they're imposing their presence in that unusual place and I think that's cool -i like the people decided to divide among themselves part of the money, good for them

chap 2:

-ah yes, contrast my beloved

-ily millie

-i like that scene with the women pointing at vash every time I see it. the situation just sucks for everyone. the reader isn't mad at the women for pointing at him not mad at vash for not letting himself get killed. its also nice to see a lot of vash's personality on that. he lowkey tries to gaslight the women by saying he wouldn't want kids to see them with guns, he listens to them when they explain why they need the money, he defends himself when one of them is about to shoot and he doesn't fight them but tells them "I hear ya but I gotta go" and tears while doing so cuz the whole situation just sucks cuz if he could do both things (give up for them and keep looking for "him" he would)

chap 3

-WHY IS VASH SO STUPID/ affectionate

-TRIO TIMEEEEEEEEE :D THEY ARE ALL SO COOL AND HAPPY

chap 4

-i just love people ruining vash's plans when he wants to leave in a cool "I was never here" fashion

-"thats more than i deserved" :c

-vash trusting kids 100% without any question my beloved

chap 5

-nightow pls i wanna know WHOS TALKING

-yknow i think it was the fact that vash said "our arrival" that gave it away. i think a normal person with a normal lifespan would have just said "I wonder if our existence on this planet is a good thing" but maybe that's just me

-i like vash wearing casual clothes in his dream. the red coat is more like a battle uniform

-rem :3

-interesting that in the dream she falls down instead of him. i never noticed that before but ofc she is the one that falls down in the dream. it could have been vash but I feel that would have given the dream another meaning entirely. wow

-aw nononono dont cry :c nooooo

chap 6

-oh man you should have been faster with that lever

-i dont think they pay you enough for that but I respect it

-YEAHHHH VASH TO THE RESCUE

-"the scent of a woman" ok weirdo

-yes vash smack that child's head >:3

[tuff-and-fluff-archives]

Also while Sniper is the only one I've truly fallen in love wif, I still feel strong emotions for all the TF2 mercs cuz they're rly all that stupidly lovable

[minzart]

Gta5!mc?

Transported while making a getaway after a successful bank heist. When grimm opened mc coffin he was met with them in a clown mask and a bag full of money.

~~~~

When Crowley took mc to ramshackle.

Crowley: it.. uh has great... um..charm!

Mc: *who lived in a roach and mouse infested trailer* okay.. this is nice! It don't smell like roaches or anything

~~~~

Crowley: whatchu got there mc..?

Mc: *holding a smoothie in one hand and a rocket launcher in the other* A smoothie

~~~~

Mc: *slams door open in a huff* *followed by adeuce and grimm*

Riddle: and where have you four been?!

Mc: *crosses arms* I got a job at monstro

Jack: d-did something happen..?

Mc: All I asked for was a fair day's pay, for a fair day's work… and well, he kinda got a little angry. So, I admit, I kinda got a little angry too. *draging in a lumpy, oddly body shaped bag*

Ruggie: So YOU KILLED HIM!?

Mc: What kinda f***ing animal do you take me for? No, I didn't kill him!

Riddle: oh thank 7's

Mc: But I did kidnap one of his eels!*unzips bag to reveal a tied up a knocked out flyod*

~~~~

Mc: *using mop as a microphone* Stacy's mom gots it going o-

Azul: eh-EHM

Mc: 🧍🏽‍♀️

Mc: *sweetly*Ya know.. you forget a thousand things every day, azul...*dead serious* make sure this is one of 'em

~~~~

Mc: *walking up in a jail cell somewhere in Land of Pyroxene* *achievement unlocked: how did we get here*

Police officer: mc..? It looks like it's your lucky day after the shit you've caused

All the staff plus vil: *crossing arms in silent disappointment*

Mc: *After a long lecture from everyone* *going through their post on MagicCam*

*pictures and videos of them at one of kalim's parties*

*video of them stealing a helicopter and crash landing off the cost of some beach, 'yo car meet..?'*

*picture of angry tiny bald man in a white suit*

*video of them and the same angry bald man: bald man: do you know who I am!? Mc: oh scary... oh...oh..oh shiver me timbers.. SHUT UP MAN*

*video of them doing doughnuts in presumably stolen police car, '🐷🥓'*

*picture of them awkwardly shaking hands with a scary looking man with teal hair, 'yoo @flyod.leech and @mushroom.offical you wouldn't believe who I just met'*

*shaky video of them running from cops, 'I ain't do nothing'*

~~~~

Leona: *went to pick up cheka from mc* hey mc! I need the hair ball back.. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WITH MY NEPHEW!?

Cheka: *muffled* HI UNCLE!

Mc: *with cheka who is bound and gagged* teaching him how to get knots out? It's an important life lesson he'll need to know DUH... we needed to simulate the exact scenario!

Cheka: yeah! Mc even taught me how to make mustard gas!

Mc: we agreed that we wouldn't tell them that part.. okay know do this*rubs wrist together* it should lossen up the knots

Cheka: *giggles* Oh yeah! So like this*rubbing his wrist together* *noticing the knots becoming looser* MC IT'S WORKING!

Leona: *under cardiac arrest*

~~~~

Mc: *helping Crowley cover up another overblot*

Crowley: it's for the goodness of the school

Mc: if that's our standard of goodness no wonder why this school is so screwed

~~~~

Mc: *going ham during beans day event* when there is shit to be won. Goddammit, I want it

Scarabia mob A: *shaking beacuse Rook and Lila are neerby* I don't think-

Mc: *pushes his head down cuz they saw Azul and co.*

Octavinelle mob C: great they're here to now

Scarabia mob A: ah... that's even worst can't we just-

Mc: it's either this..*pointing at Rook and Lila* or dealing with those dimbags over there *pointing at Azul and co.* either way the paint balls will come crackin' at yo ass.

~~~~

Mc: *gave grimm some money to buy some treats as he's been good the pass few days*

Grimm: MC *grunts* I'M *grunts* BACK!

Mc: *going to see what he bought* grimm what did...you....buy..? *see's grimm pushing cat tree, 30 deluxe tuna cans and cat bed* GRIMM! I SAID BUY SOMETHING NICE! NOT EXPENSIVE!

~~~~

Crowley and the staff announced there was gonna be a feild trip to an amusement park, mc and the first years were told to be on their best behavior. To make sure crewel got a few child leashes for them if they acted out.

Jack: Mc what about all those kids who-

Mc: *dragging seven 6 foot blow up aliens behind them* FUCK THEM KIDS I WON FAIR AND SQUARE!

~~~~

Riddle, Leona, Vil and Malleus: *having ideal conversations, while on the tea cup ride*

The first years: *whizzing by in a color blob* AAAHHHAAH

First years: *trying to get off the tea cup ride but are failing*

Staff members: *contemplating whether to help them or not*

~~~~

Mc: *enabling kalim to buy more stuff* yes...yes.. now buy the jumbo churro

All in all it was a good a few hiccups here and there nothing made it to the news.

~~~~

.

[chrissmissus]

✨ Euphoria thoughts on 2x5 and 2x6 ✨

SPOILER WARNING!!!!!! IF YOU GET SPOILED THAT IS YOUR OWN PROBLEM SO PLEASE MIND THE WARNING.

Happy Euphoria Eve 🎉

I proofread this one, unlike the last one which is why there were so many grammar mistakes. I tried to do this one sooner so it was less rushed. Hope you enjoy it 😘

- C

Let's start with 2x5 shall we?

Zendaya ate this episode the fuck up, homegirl was playing temple run in real life. I just had to start with that cuz she did the damn thing.

Rue- She chose violence this episode and I WAS HERE FOR IT. The way she ate Cassie up had me shocked like Cassie was just choosing positive that ain't nobody asks for and Rue was like “you thought you were hot shit huh??”Exposed ya, I loved it not gonna lie. Everything she said to Jules was true she does love to be loved but not who loves her. She deserved that curse out too and so much. She slept with Elliot as the slightest inconvenience to her.

Fez and Ashtray- I just know that he was hurt by Rue's actions in this episode and that it killed him to throw her out like that. I was just talking about how I wished that they showed more of their relationship. And Ashtray just watched minding his own business cuz I thought he was gonna get the hammer.

Laurie- I don't know how I feel about her like I know she tried to sell Rue to sex trafficking but I just think she needed her money but I don't know. She's bad and I know she's bad but it ain’t hitting yet but it will. I think it's her voice and how calm and soothing it is.

Lexi- You know she finna but all this shit in her play. The way she put her hand over her mouth when her sister was exposed… start written boo

Cassie- 🤡🤡🤡🤡 no fucking words. This bitch is stupid as hell. Don’t get me wrong my heart lives and beats my Sydney Sweeney but Cassie…. Don’t let me catch you lackin. Like I’m madder about here make her the victim and say you can’t trust Rue cause she a drug addict ( and it looked like Maddie was pissed about that too) after saying “ TaKe iT oNe DaY aT a TiMe” and wasn’t she the same girl who said I’m crazier to Nate but cried like a little bitch when she got called out by Maddy

Maddie- Beat her ass I have never been so excited for a super bowl in my life. I put all my money on her, every less dime. That bitch is gonna fuck Cassie up.

Leslie - I feel so bad for her and I understand what she going through from my own experience of having a drug-addicted sibling but damn I really want her to be happy with Ali cause she deserves the best. And I think it's cause I see my mom in her and her struggle and I feel for her.

Gia- I wanted to save her for last cause everyone has a person they relate to on this show and she mine, I understand what it's like to have to watch two people you love to go at it and not know what going to happen in the second that feels like forever. I felt her fear and that shit was too relatable but all together with loving her. Storm Reid played this role so amazingly and I hope to see her career take off because of it. 

Jules- Bitch STFU you telling Rue you love and all this bullshit but you're literally wearing Elliot's shirt that you probably wear when you fucked him. Jules and Cassie have lost all my respect for actin like they ain't got no common sense.

Elliot- He dead-ass looked really hurt when Rue hit him on the forehead and then was smoking a cigarette as they drove Rue to rehab... like nigga go home. I'm pissed cause he even said that meeting her wasn't a good thing. I HATE YOU.

Onto the epic episode 2x6

First of all, I was let down I got mad excited for "superball" Sunday and it wasn't what I excepted. NO ONE GOT THEIR ASS BEAT!! I was so ready for Maddy to beat Cassie's ass but that didn't mean it still wasn't wild and out of control.

Rue- I think she's gonna sober this time around and I'll tell you. Did you see how proud she was when she finally ate that Jolly Rancher?? Are how she rejects all the horrible things she said, even though they were true?? She never gonna want to be like that again and I think she's starting to see the effect that her fucked up actions have on people that love her and that Jules is not good for her nor Elliot.

Leslie- I felt for her when she was crying saying that her daughter was gonna kill herself with these drugs I felt for her because I see she's trying to keep her daughter alive. And deep down what Rue said about having two fucked up daughters got to her. If Gia is messed up Leslie failed and we would all know it. I think she just wants to understand Rue and where this drug problem started.

Kat- She was dead-ass wrong for the shit that she did to Ethan. " I have a mental illness" girl be real you were wrong for that and for that she's dead to me. You could see the fakeness in her story and I already knew she was gonna be on some bullshit when she said " i NeVeR TrUsTeD cAsSiE aNyWaY" Girl yes you did just cause you had a little glow up since 1x1 doesn't mean you hot shit cuz you learned how to dress and put on some makeup.

Suzan-I love her and the way she handled Cassie. She has to be one of my favorite because who doesn't love the fun drunk. I hope to see her more. She’s hot and I’m not taking that back.

Lexi and Fez- I'm putting these bitches together because that scene that they had was AMAZING!! "Stand by me oh stand by me" And the handhold omg I'm rooting for yall.

Faya- I like her so she better not disappoint me. She better speak up on her man's plan cause if she doesn't...... she better hope though big ass lips of her don't bust when Ashtray hits her in the face with that handy dandy hammer when his bother goes to jail.

Gia- I really like that she and Ali are getting along and that he is shedding light on her feeling about Rue's addiction. She needs therapy and I hope that Leslie isn’t too focused on Rue to get her that.

Maddy- I know I'm not the only one to see that camera right?? I understand why it's there but it's really creepy. Maddy is wearing her clothes when the parents aren't there so I understand it I guess. But that heart-to-heart see had with Samantha was needed. Sam showed her that I will get better in the long run. And I hope that shit Nate pulled in her bedroom will be the wake-up call she needs to let that fucker go.

Samantha- YOU'RE GAY!!!! She's trying to fucking Maddy and you can’t change my mind about that. I also hear that she’s an ex of Chris Evans and all I can say is I don't know who I'm more jealous of. Anyways we need more of her cause she’s so damn fine.

Marsha- Girl the way you were talking about Maddy sounded like experience... " ShE wOuLd KeEp It JuSt To SpIt YoU"…. ok marsha. The way she ate Nate's ass up was AMAZING 🥲. And couldn’t stop laughing at it.“ wHo ThE cUnT nOw” ….it’s still you Marsha, she really thought she ate that up, cuz not only were you drink with your high school son but your man let it be known to your kids that you trapped him and wanted Derrick instead of you plus pissed all over your floor. Girl bye I still like her as a character though she’s ok ig

Jules and Elliot- YALL STILL SUCK AND IM HAPPY THAT EVEN NARRATER RUE SAID IT

Cassie- 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡 you still on that clown shit I see. Girl, you were ready to kill yourself over this man because he didn’t call you back just to go to him when he’s finally ready for you….. GET A FUCKING GRIP. I was really ready to go in on her but I really feel sorry for her, bitch is getting played and if she won't see that soon she will ruin herself. But that shit said about Rue can’t let that slide…. If there was a mercy I had for this bitch it’s gone. I was pissed when she tried to compare herself to Rue and when I say pissed I mean it. Rue is literally killing herself with these drugs trying to make herself happy to cope with the death of her father probably the only person who made her feel normal while Cassie feels like she should be exempt from the hate/ disappointment that she getting for sleeping with her best friend’s ex, that she is still in love with and she knew that because her dad left. I. HATE. CASSIE.SO. FUCKING. MUCH. BRO‼️‼️ and she know what Lexi said was true that motherfuka was doggin her out for years. And she needs to stop yelling at bitches if she can’t give that same energy to the man doggin her tf out.

Nate- The only good thing he did in this episode was give the tape to Jules even though I don’t like her character if that were me I would want someone to do that for me…. but I would never be in that situation. But the rest of it I expected nothing less he’s a shitty person and if he were real, he would be the most hated man in America. At this point he and Cassie belong together, not only do they not mean it when they say I love you or I’m sorry but they both have daddy issues, don’t know how to control themselves, and don’t know what loyalty THEY DESERVE EACH OTHER.

Extra Stuff

I know you saw that Cassie was not only dressing like Maddy and her makeup like Maddy by wearing her necklace right??? I  peeped that shit and I was so proud of myself. I felt like a real Euphoria fan!!! 

Suzan is the friend and Samatha sleeping with her man is one of the theories I heard and I can see it. It would explain the drinking cuz not only did her man betray her but her best friend.

This is really fucked up so I’ll say it now I didn’t come up with it. Someone on TikTok said they should bring McKay back and put him with Maddy as revenge. And if that ain’t fucked up enough they said bonus point if he gets Maddy pregnant and keeps it…. I was stunned 😂 they were so fed up with Cassie’s shit and choose violence. Now that’s all I can think about when I hear Euphoria.

I heard due to Zendaya working on a different show they might do Euphoria without her and I don’t know how I feel about that. I really like her character, it hits home for me and I fear that they’re going kill her off with a drug overdose.

If they kill Gia I’m not gonna watch the show anymore. There will be no more ✨ Euphoria thoughts✨ 😂 I stg

Where drug dealer lady Laura at???

It also seems that the reason we’re not seeing much of McKay is that the man who plays him Algee Smith isn’t vaccinated and that would make a lot of sense as to why we ain’t seen homeboy like that in this season.

Lexi’s play is finna be the shit and I’m telling you right now, I think Maddy is gonna beat Cassie’s ass next episode.

Let me know what you think and if you agree or disagree

As always say safe, be kind, and do something great. Love ya 😘

- C

[callsignbaphomet]

My aunt drove me to the appointment and I was hesitant at first because she is...a stress factor in my life. I know for sure she doesn't mean to be and I'm sure she doesn't even realize she's doing it but it ain't easy talking to her. I feel like my entire family is prone to playing the victim.

Example. A few years ago my aunt planned out a vacation for all of us to go on. The majority of us didn't want to go. It started disastrously bad when my idiot brother wanted to take the long way which here in PR it means going through the middle of the island which meant taking roads that were curves over curves over curves. I get car/motion sickness. I said this aloud. My aunt and my mom have witnessed this first hand. Solution? I gotta drive to avoid throwing up. I didn't want to drive because I didn't know the directions, even then we got super lost, and I was on some medication that forced my p****d out and I didn't wanna go on this vacation but was forced to go (this is me as an adult btw 😐).

So what happened? We had to pull over so I could throw up on the side of the road. I was beyond pissed. The rest of the week went from bad to worse. My sister and her husband insisted that all they wanted to do was go to the beach. I don't like going to the beach, I don't like swimming, I don't like pools, I don't like getting wet. First time at the beach I was on the shore overheating and heavily bleeding and I looked miserable but yeah I'm soooo glad that bitch and her bitch husband had soooo much fun.

Following day they (sister and her husband) wanted to go to another beach. My mom spoke up and said I wouldn't be able to go into the water and didn't think it was fun to just sit at the shore all day. Someone finally remembered me 🙄

So C, who had had enough of the trip since the start had been super quiet and I got a little angry at him for not speaking up either. Turns out he was on the phone searching for interesting things to do in the area aside from going to the fucking beach. So he asked my aunt if he and I could borrow her car. She said okay and during the entire stay all they did was follow my idiot sister from one beach to another, that's ALL they did. Beach hopping.

Meanwhile C and I went to see some weird salt flats, we saw a fuck old lighthouse and befriended some cats, we went to a really old church with an amazingly beautiful garden full of flowers. On the third day we went out to a park and had ice cream. Loooots of ice cream. So all in all C managed to make that disaster better. When he and I got back to the apartment my sister was putting on a show about how C and I didn't wanna spend time with the family.

Dude, I went from 0 to 1 trillion in 1 second and I swear I was gonna lunge at her but C grabbed me basically by the scruff of the neck and held me back and quietly said, "If that's what you think that's a you problem." and we went to take a shower. Which btw only had two temperatures: third degree burn and lava coming out of Satan's butthole. You can imagine how great that felt in the middle of summer in the south side of PR.

Fourth day was an all out disaster cuz my idiot brother, who btw, first day there kicked me and C out cuz he wanted our room cuz it was the only one with ac and he needed it because his crack whore ass was detoxing from some meds. Was yelling and screaming about going to kill himself (read: he wanted something and no one was indulging him so he used the excuse to kill himself to manipulate my mom and aunt to get him what he wanted).

That day was a mess of people pointing fingers and mostly my sister shoving blame everywhere and basically calling out my aunt for making us all go on this vacation when no one else wanted to go.

Drive back was awkward as fuck all with my aunt crying and feeling bad and me and C on damage control. She was super mad that all they did was go to the beach and asked me and C about all we did so we did and tried to make her feel better because my sister told her she has a lot of flaws she needs to work on and now she all boo hoo. Sure, my sister coulda worded it better but I'm glad it happened.

My aunt is one of those "my way or the highway" type of people. She gets set on one thing and noooooothing will change her mind. She constantly hounds me about doing something "productive" with my art. I often just shrug and ignore her but this is constant. I don't sketch in front of her anymore because it's every single time. She also doesn't take social clues, she outright ignores them on purpose. If a subject makes someone uncomfortable she'll keep prying because in her eyes you're probably not working hard enough or doing your best.

On the way to the doctor she brought up art again. I outright told her I wasn't going to do it. I wanted to say not everything has to be about making money but I held on to that one. I told her it was hard to establish a network, that I would be competing with thousands and thousands of people and that it was hard.

All she got outta that was that everything is hard and I'd have to work hard to get out there and establish myself.

Bruh...I was stunned.

So I outright told her no. I don't want to. My art is for peace of mind and she dropped it but I just know she'll bring it up again.

Look. As a hobbyist my art is okay but me charging people for that??? Who the fuck would??? Pay for that???? Jfc.

So we moved on to yet another uncomfortable subject and she said I may have ptsd. Dude...no offense but ya ain't a doctor (thank fuck). So she told me I should check to see a psychologist because then I'd have the tools to handle things better. Fair. I have been thinking about that to see if maybe I can finally get an answer to several things or if maybe I'm making all this dumb shit up in my head. But that was about all the logical shit she said.

She even thinks people are actually not working because they wanna live off unemployment and don't wanna work.

My face went blank. I tried explaining to her that people are protesting unsafe work environments, slave labor/wages, shitty bosses and she heard all of that (granted maybe I could explained it better) and all she said was, "You gotta start somewhere and from there go up".

Then it struck me that of course she'd never understand. This woman NEVER had to work during her entire years of college or even her master's. She has NEVER worked a minimum wage job ever in her entire life. I wanna find articles on what is going on with that and send them to her. She's all of what I said and more but she can sooooometimes see reason. To be honest I'm angry and disappointed in her. She always seemed to adhere to more open minded concepts in terms of society, how differences in generations was good for all of us in general, who's taken to learning what she can about mental illnesses and trauma and so on. She still has much to learn about those last two, she still can't comprehand how me making phone calls scares the fuck outta me, but it's a start? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Idk I just needed to let all of that out. I love her, she's done a lot for me but she's also been a source of stress for me and I can't openly talk to her about anything because she's not easy to talk to. Sorry for the length.

[yourcutelittlegayfriend]

Heya Can I please uh Get a sett x vastaya reader Scenario where she comes to his pit to fight because she needs money to help her tribe get rebuilt?

Ok so first of all thanks for the request and sorry for a very very late post and second if you're like referring to rebuilding houses in a tribe you actually can't cuz vastayan people live harmony with nature so that means no cutting trees and you get your needs from nature....... but I'll think of something like a money crisis or something.

Yeah sorry.........again.

•=•=•=•=•=•

SETT X VASTAYAN READER

For many years, your people live in peace. away from the dangers of the outside world but that doesn't mean you were selfish and un-kind, instead they used magic not for fighting but to offer help to other vastayan, they would take refugees, heal them, and take care of other Vastayans that were scarred by the war.

Decades past many happened in Ionia but being seculded in the hidden forest in the land, generations of your tribe have forgotten what's the outside world like and believe that it's only a myth.

Then an unexpecting day came. Since your tribe offers help more and more Vastayans seek their hand for help and that cause a problem.

A big problem.

There was too much population and your home became overcrowded after a new tribe came, said they were attack overnight and barely survived, it was no problem in sharing and rationing your supplies but nature had given too much.

Being the Chief's eldest daughter you volunteered to search outside your hidden home to find a way to help them.

So with a heavy heart your family and people bid you good luck and safe travel.

Days past you discovered many things and places, you found different kinds of Vastayans, good and also bad people.

One day you came to a Forest market you ask many people but some spoke in a strange language while some walked away from you until you meet this cute Vastayan couple named Rakan and Xayah, you were surprised that they can speak (mainly Xayah) using the old Vastayan Language.

From Xayah's stories she is looking for her lost tribe and planned on making a rebellion or something? While Rakan only follow and support his lover.

You told them about your problem and they suggested that you go far towards the main city, you took the suggestion and thank them for their help, bidding them good bye you turned into leave but not before Xayah called you back.

"Hey not being a bother or anything but you said there was a new tribe that came to yours right?, Is there perhaps a man-." She then continued to explain a man who she claim her father and ask if he was in the same tribe, shaking your head you said that you haven't see anyone that look like her father.

"Don't worry Xayah I'm positive they're out there somewhere and you'll find them I believe in you, just don't lose hope ok?". You re-assured her as she thanked you.

"Here Y/N don't forget to hide does ears and tail of yours, they're a dead give away." She held out a dark cloak made from a smooth Ionian silk, after that you waved them goodbye.

"Good luck and don't get yourself killed kid!! See ya, Hey Xayah wait for meeeeee!!!." Rakan shouted before chasing after his beloved.

"You do know I'm quite older than you right?." You asked him well more to yourself before shrugging it off and beginning your journey towards the city in Ionia.

It took a whole day getting there making you arrived at night. you then wore the cloak Xayah gave you and blend in with the crowd, it was similar as back in the Forest market but instead of Vastayan or shape-shifters that was walking around it was full on strange creatures that you believe were humans like the elders told in their stories and unlike back home with of trees and nature instead it was this weird tall structures and no Vastayan in sight.

then your ears hear this wired clinking of metal that you decided to investigate, looking around you found the source and saw a human passing three of those round gold things in exchange for a fruit then you saw another and another.

It was some kind of currency just like yours but a little different.

You then followed a big human man that was carrying a huge sack of those while being vigilant, you then came across a much more big architecture with a lot of suspicious people entering inside.

Moving forward, you see the man you followed giving it towards a round hat wearing man and seeing that some were doing it too.

You perk up along with other people when you hear a feminine voice at the passageway then people run towards the voice being unlucky you got shove in, you tried squeezing your body in the crowd, few tries you finally reach the end but loss you footing, you catch yourself by slamming your hand in a flat wooden furniture.

startled the man and the woman who you believe was yelling looked at you with widen eyes they talked to you in a much more different language, you look at them dumbfounded before shrugging you shoulders.

The woman rolled her eyes before grabbing a hold of your right arm and pulled you, being curious you let her.

Walking deep inside you tried talking to her but she didn't payed you attention, a short walk you were then push towards an opening.

You stumbled before getting blinded by a golden light you raised an arm to cover your face, turning back you looked and see the woman on the tunnel motioning you to walk, looking behind you see a stone platform.

"Huh?." you pipe up looking back at her, you point yourself and then towards the platform.

She nod her head yes then showing you her thumbs pointing upwards before turning around and walked back, you look down at you hands and trying to copy what she did while walking towards the platform.

( ՞ਊ ՞）→ Sett's POV :

Another night with a line people that aren't strong enough to beat me.

"Welp who can say no to money anyway?." I chuckled cracking my knuckles and do small stretching.

I look below on the balcony to see a cloaked figure walking in the middle of the pit, I see their attention in their hands.

You're fighting me and you're already scared?, pathetic.

I scoff before walking back and down towards the pit.

A few seconds later I walked out and face them.

"Hey! you're the first contender?, Guess this will be an easy win." I stare at my clenched fist after wearing my golden brass knuckles.

Smirking I turned my head but to my surprise they we're still busy with the hands.

"Oi!, Are ya' listening to me or you're deaf?." I shouted by now the people were listening to me watching in interest.

I growled, losing my patience I stomp towards them right arm pulled back.

"I said are ya' deaf or stupid?." Reaching them I throw my right straight to there face. before my knuckles can touch there face they simply blocked it with their palm.

They looked up making me see their- I mean her face, she looked at me with her E/C colored eyes before glaring at me, She jumped back looking at her palm then back to me.

"Heh, good to have your attention. Now can you fight?." I punch my hand to my palm smirking, she tilted her head then she move to take off her cloak.

Once the clothing was off my widen when I see a pair of ears on top of her head like mine with a long thick fur tail swishing behind her.

"Vastayan?." I growled "then I guess I'll be lying when I say this won't hurt." I then charge at her.

We both begin to fight I keep punching her but she dodges fast while we were does this she keep talking in a weird ass language I can't understand.

She then growled in annoyance before tackling me with a surprising strength, strandling me she clunch the neckline of my clothes and smash her lips on mine.

I stared with wide eyes at her. the kiss didn't last long she quickly stood up and talk finally in a language I can understand.

"Sorry I had to do that it was the fastest way I can learn you language." She apologize before holding out her hand at me.

"Here let me help you." She said I grab it and she pulled me up without breaking a sweat.

•=•=•=•=•=•

"So your telling me? You came from your invisible home-."

"Hidden actually-."

"To find what exactly?." I asked feeling a tick mark growing in my forehead still feeling a little embarrassed from the kiss earlier.

"Something to help them like finding extra supplies using that." She pointed behind me and I turned my hand and see the money we collected from different bets.

"Ya want Noxian money?." I questioned

"If that's what you call it yes." She said without hesitation.

"Ha! Look girly I ain't a charity work I own that money and I'm not just about to give that to some Vastayan tribe, they can starve for all I care." I puff out my chest laughing at her.

"Fine then I'll do anything you want but in exchange I need a few sack of those what about that?." She growled not liking what I just said about her tribe.

"Hmm, guess I can't let a good deal like that fly away then exchange for maybe 5 of those you have to fight in my pit for a whole month, deal?." I hold out my hand.

"I do not know how long this month you are talking about but sounds delightful to me, sure!." She grab my hand tightly and shook it with great force.

"Ok! Ok! Stop it." I snatch my hand away shaking off some off the pain from her grip.

How is she so strong?!

"Be here tomorrow early in the morning then we'll talk business." I turned around walking away from her, but few steps away I can hear someone following me.

I look over my shoulder and see her behind me.

"Why are you following me?." I asked gritting my teeth.

"Well since we made a deal it's a tradition to follow the dealer for a better end of-". I cut her off.

"You don't have a place to sleep do you?."

"Yes! Can I sleep with you?". She didn't even feel ashamed of herself.

"OH FOR THE LOVE OF-!".

•∆•∆•∆•∆•∆•

Sett's a bit OP but...........

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Yeah I don't have a good reason

[mothsandbutterflies13]

Shadow and Bone Pt 2

The General/The Darkling/Aleksander Morozova: I like this character. Like, a lot. It helps that he's the epitome of "Tall, Dark, and Handsome" (TDH) but Aleksander Morozozva, as a person, is so interesting. There are so many things I'd like to pick his brain on; human nature, court politics, the war with Fjerda and Shu Han, Zlatan and his independence movement, etc. As a character, I wish they had injected some more darkness into him. I get it, the show is supposed to be marketed towards a younger audience, so it's not logical to have your tall, dark heartthrob be a literal jackass with no redeemable points. I applaud the show for giving him a more human side to him, but I also wish they would be clear on which couple is endgame. B/c if Darklina is endgame, I don't think you're doing enough to sell it. And if it's not, then you're doing waaaaay too much to sell it.

Alina Starkov: I love the actress. She seems so funny and kind. Her biracial status is just an added bonus. As a character, though… let's just say, Alina might not be a Mary Sue, but she's not not one either. Let me explain. I can't say I was thrilled to hear Alina Starkov was written as biracial in the show. It just felt like they were trying to score diversity points in being able to cast Jessie Mei Li as the female lead in a major TV production. I mean, in the context of the universe of Shadow and Bone, it was fine. I guess. But we really only get one piece of dialogue wherein Alina is discriminated against by the army camp cook for her different looks (which, if we're talking different looks, Mal looks waaaay more Shu Han than Alina, but that's just my opinion) and the confrontation with the tsarista and the maid's comment about changing her eyes, but that was about it. And Botkin, who looks and sounds like a Shu Han, NEVER comments on her appearance. For some people, that's great, it means he doesn't see her any different than anyone else. However, in a country where Ravkans sometimes openly discriminate against anyone that looks Shu Han (not Fjerdan cuz they look way too similar to their southern neighbors🙄🙄), you'd think Botkin would give Alina some advice or, I don't know, impart some knowledge about their shared cultural heritage!? If you're going to portray a character as a different race than she was (implied) in the books, AND make a big deal out of it, I should think you'd at least TRY and highlight why this change was necessary or important. But, if you're not going to do that, then please don't emphasize that particular fact. Just treat her like you would if she were of Caucasian descent.

And don't give me the same-old speel about representation. As an American-born Chinese, I grew up in a predominantly white town where I only had a few classmates who looked like me. I know what it means to be discriminated against or never seeing someone who looked like me on TV or in movies. I don't like watching the animated Mulan movie because she was a Chinese princess amongst a sea of white princesses. I like her because she doesn't take shit from anyone, not even her commanding officer. However, I identified the most with Belle because we were both bookworms and saw the beauty in the written word.

As for her powers… Like I said above, I really want to see what she could do with them. Light + physics = pretty OP.

Ok, so on to some of my biggest gripes with Alina.

One. She's angry that Aleksander has kept her letters from Mal and Mal's letters from her, leading her to believe that Mal doesn't care about her. As a way to woo the heart of possibly the only girl who'll ever be your equal, definitely not the best move. But as a general in charge of an army of grisha who now has finally found the one person who could make all his wishes come true, a necessary evil. True, Aleksander is half a millennia old, you'd think he'd have learned some patience by now. Alternatively, he could just be stubborn and set in his ways because no one has been able to challenge him and he hasn't had to stop and think about the consequences of his actions in terms of the individuals it will affect in a long time. However, in terms of what he could've done (send Mal on some impossible mission that was 100% going to get him killed) (Ok, yes, so the hunt for Morozova's stag probably should've been that, but we're not here to talk about what-ifs), confiscating their letters to each other was practically not even in the top 100. So, I honestly don't get why she seemed to make a mountain out of a mole hill.

Two. Aleksander didn't disclose that he was the Black Heretic and that he was planning to get the stag to be able to control Alina and her powers. I mean… would youdivulge your deepest, darkest secret to someone you just met not even a week before? Especially when it's about something as big as this. No? Point made. As to his plans for the amplifier, it's not like he could've known what the Sun Summoner was going to be like. And this goes back to my point before, that he can't see the trees for the forest because he's used to thinking in big-picture terms and what's best for the grisha as a whole, not the individual person. If you can't predict what this nebulous person is going to be like, you might as well hold all the control in your hands so as not to leave anything up to chance. Maybe Alina just can't see the forest for the trees.

Three. The above points are why (probably, most likely) why she chose Mal over Aleksander in the finale. Oh my God, I don't even know where to start. First of all, I have it on good authority (from someone who's read the books) that Alina is never Mal's first choice (and for that rant, I suggest you read the next point below before coming back to this one) but she still chooses him. When there's a perfectly good, emotionally-available, TDH man who accepts you, boils and all, standing. RIGHT. THERE. Second, this teaches young girls a bad precedent (granted, book!Darkling was a jackass so maybe not him). Why hang onto a guy who's made it clear to you, through his actions, that he'll never see you as his #1? Why waste your time, money, affections for someone like him? He doesn't deserve it and he CERTAINLY doesn't deserve you! You should only be with someone who treats you like a princess, who makes it clear to you that you have been, are, and always will be his #1. (I'm assuming the other person is male, but you don't have to read it like that. Don't @ me.) Trust me, Zhi Hua chasing after Yong Qi in HZIII scared me enough as a child and I have no desire to go through something like that in real life.

Mal: "This is why I have such a problem with Malina as endgame! If they were endgame, why is Mal always treating her like a second choice and Alina always content with the scraps he throws at her?! At least, with Aleksander, Alina was, is, and always will be his first choice and he makes it ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY clear he thinks the world of her! I thought Aleksander was the kind of guy we were taught to grab and hold on to, not some childhood bestie who always puts you on the backburner!" That's all I have to say for this one.

Zoya: I would have liked to see some complexity in this character, other than the whole "unrequited love for the Darkling". Granted, I only saw a quarter of the show, so I don't know about later episodes.

As for the Crows, I wish I had seen more complexity and character backstory from Kaz. Jesper is amazing but, my favorite has to be Inej because she's fulfilling all my Assassin dreams!

My sister claims I'm expecting too much out of a TV show that is based on a YA fantasy novel series, and maybe I am. I just want to see a well-made fantasy TV series or movie with a great cast that has amazing acting chops, beautiful set pieces, intricate costuming, and a well-written plotline with a dash of sarcasm and wit. Is that really so hard to ask for?

[dr-nero-is-god]

1, 9, and 11 for the hive questions!

1- already answered this one here!

9-  which minor character did you want to see more of? which major character do you wish there was less of?

i would have been so down to keep constance & verity around for a few more books. why are they with sebastian trent? do they believe in the cause or are they just getting paid? would they have been anti-overlord? what if they became raven’s friends? what would a girl’s night out with raven, c, and v look like? like COME ON. girls who are also assassins and friends?? the possibilities are endless here, people

on the flip side, i think i would have preferred if tom and penny didn’t just hop in at the end there. i feel like we know as an established fact that we have six characters who matter, and so whatever happened to tom and penny was never going to be permanent... ya know?

11-  talk about your favorite character. what you like about them, their line or scene you like the most, etc. gush about them!

oh lordt

reasons i, mitch, love dr. max nero, and think he is so cool and better than every other person in these books, by just a little bit i guess:

1. tailored outfits every day? big respect

2. the fact that he lives in an extremely high-risk business and yet keeps making best friends who keep his secrets for him and decide to help him out all the time! he would be like, an amazing amish person. he’d get everyone to help him raise barns whenever he wanted

3. “three months” “three months?” “since I felt the sun on my skin” <3

4. the fact that he says that line with such contentedness while also forcing several hundred teenagers to live in the sunless underground of a volcano all the time

5. he can and would kill the person he loves most for the greater good (which, notably, other characters are unable to do, including diabolus darkdoom)

6. he never is forced to apologize for hating cypher, and is the pettiest lil bitch about cypher, and cannot hold a conversation with him for more than 30 seconds at a time without losing his cool. what a dumbass

7. my main man who looks people “straight in the eye” all the time. eye contact is his primary superpower

8. he has always believed in raven. and even when she disappoints him, even when she makes the wrong choices, he has never stopped believing in her

9. refuses to speak to his dad for fifteen years over a blueprint and steals priceless art to piss him off

10. “it was the best of times, it was the worst of times...” 

11. goes shopping for otto and wing to make them look like normal people when infiltrating steve jobs’s business hq and acts as though he and otto look as though they could be related

12. “on your return, we will discuss the wisdom of allowing a student to join you on a mission like this”

13. pays people like ms. gonzales and professor pike and the contessa to work for him, who inevitably make his life HARDER because they keep doing nefarious things!!! but he believes in the liberal arts so he keeps giving them leeway to do stuff!!

14. is not afraid of telling the most powerful people on earth that he thinks they’re dumb and he’s firing them all

15. tried to kill a computer with a fire ax

16. has seen diabolus darkdoom’s penis (evidence: book six. “if you were any less of a man, i’d think you were compensating for something.” conclusion: nero does not think it’s anything to sneeze at, and ALSO diabolus likes big toys. is he deficient in some other way if his manhood is good to go? it’s unclear)

17. does not mind that wing would have to kill him if he were xiu mei’s murderer. very reasonable to get vengeance for your mom, y’know? he gets it

18. “i’m almost ashamed to admit it but i’ve wanted to do this since i was five years old”

19. punches stuff when he’s mad, but only when he’s with friends??? why

20. hugs raven after she kills anastasia because while it’s important to her that she kills the person who ruined her life, it would be incomplete without the support and comfort of the person who helped her learn to reclaim her life and live it again

21. keeps threatening to kill people but never does, cuz he’s an ole softie

22. gets nervous when his daughter, who is, btw, the most feared assassin in the world, the definition of “capable of looking after herself,” doesn’t call him before bedtime to check in

23. the kind of guy who will walk through new york’s sewers or sneak into government bases in colorado springs but then will also have tea with the prime minister 

24. does not like tchaikovsky at four in the morning

25. he thinks otto malpense is funny, which is in good taste

26. for all his reputation as a villain, the thing he’s known for is being a headmaster, and despite the fact that everyone thinks it’s corny and a waste of money (or that’s what they say), nero continually proves that through the power of education, teamwork, and a little well-executed kindness, he can do pretty much whatever he wants because, alone, he is nothing, but with his friends at his side, he is UNSTOPPABLE mwahahahahahahaha

27. “it wasn’t you, natalya. it wasn’t you”

[praphit]

Extraction: The Day Sexy Violence Wasn’t Enough

I was hearing a lot of chatter about Thor's new joint - "Extraction".

I originally wasn't interested, because... well...

I look at the rest of The Avengers, right after "Endgame" -

Capt hung out with real thespians in "Knives Out",

 and now on his way to make a real dramatic mark.

(idk what Jacob did... something he ain’t have no business doing, by the look of his eyes, but Capt has got him)

Black Widow - made us feel with "Marriage Story" 

Iron-Man did a movie for the kids... I think... or this is just a typical weekend for RDJ.

However, Thor said "Give me a bunch of guns and send me away to shoot brown people."

You're better than that, Thor! Plus, I don't really want Chris Hemsworth serious. But, like I said - CHATTER. So, I'm onboard!

Plus, perhaps the best thing for us, in the midst of this pandemic, is to stay inside with sexy ass Chris Hemsworth, and watch a dumb action movie. I don't need nothing deep. I don't want to think right now. Just give us sexiness and killing.

Thor wanted to get as far away from Disney/Marvel as he could. From start to finish, he's looking for somebody to kill.

I guess he also kinda looks like he’s looking for the bathroom. I mean, he’s going to kill people on the way there, but he’s looking... and he doesn’t know if he’s going to make it.

It did take a lil work before they could shoot the movie though, so I’ll rewind a sec. The last time that we saw him, he looked like this.

He had to hit the gym, switch to some light beer (Workout Note: You can't cut beer completed; that's something that crazy people do. You also can't completely cut out pizza. I know they say you've gotta cut breads out, but... that's fake news). Some weights, some squats, half a pizza (instead of a whole), and some light beer. And if you're still not getting the results you want - get lots of money, go to the doctor and the stylist, and you too can look like this - 

I believe that we were all created by God, but some were made on a budget, and others look like Chris Hemsworth.

Now, we're ready!

The plot of this movie is simple. A kid gets kidnapped, and Chris Hemsworth needs to save the day.

That's it.

Chris plays Tyler Rake , who's family was tragically taken from him. You can't get much more generic action hero than that.

We find Tyler jumping off cliffs into the depths of the waters for fun/cuz he's a lil suicidal, and sitting down at the bottom to meditate (even at the bottom of the water, his hair looks amazing). 

From the get-go, you know that Tyler Rake is a bit off.

This mold of generic action hero (we'll say "action star", I think after a certain body count, one can't be considered a "hero" anymore) will be keeping liquor stores in business 

(another workout note: unless you've been engineered by the gods as Chris has, don't try working out on a whiskey diet - it won't end well for you)

, having teammates look at him as if he needs help (which he does), and bad guys aren't going to stand a chance. He has lost his family, and decided he's going to be crazy for the rest of his life.

This movie is in the hands of the Russo brothers (directed "Infinity War/Endgame"). They both brought some depth to the Marvel Universe. Fleshed-out Thanos. Made us get in our feelings.

They said "F that! We're just going to shoot people!"

And that's all that this movie is. I'd tell you more, but there's not much more to tell. Ever meet someone who, for better or worse, they are their career? - that's this movie. It's Tyler Rake killing people... lots of people, to save one kid... whom he just met.

Sometimes, they tried to go a lil deeper. There's a moment when the kid (the kid has a name, but no one in the movie bothered to learn it, so why should I?) starts asking Tyler about his family. Chris is crying his ass off, and the boy keeps asking him questions. Can't you see this man is hurting?! Ya jerk! In this moment, I should have felt something for Chris, but I didn't. I think I got up to get something to eat (maybe I'M the jerk). But, that kinda stuff isn't this movie's strong suit. Let's keep it moving!

Back to bullets, knife fights, rockets, people getting hit by vehicles, and blood spray!

As for that kid - parents teach your children how to run. This kid's form was terrible! Every time that he ran, he frustrated me. Chris would shout "Stay low! Stay behind me!" Nope. He couldn't seem to get that right. Plus, he's so lanky. You gonna get Chris killed, sonn!

I guess this is a decent pandemic movie. A good movie to make-out to... if you don't mind screams of dismemberment in the background. Whatever floats your boat. Like I said, the action and gun play in this movie is right on; if that doesn't get your juices flowing, Chris Hemsworth will:) His prettiness def saves the movie a lil bit. 

Whenever he got into a fight, I felt the need to shout "Not the face!" 

When he was close to fire "Chris, your hair!"

Grade: As good as the action is, something is missing in this movie. David Harbour is in this, and he's great, but not in it enough.

There's a guy that matches Chris's skills, who's really good at action, but he doesn't say all that much.

There's a woman in here who matches Chris's prettiness,

but she's just there to tell Tyler that he's gone too far, and to shoot a rocket (which is bad ass though).

I don't think that this movie is "dumb" enough. It's def not smart, but... it doesn't go enough in any direction, and it takes itself just a lil bit too seriously. It's kinda missing a soul.

I can't say enough about some of these slick action scenes, but at the same time, it felt like I was watching a really good "Call of Duty" game starring Chris Hemsworth. 

I could have just played COD and hung a pic of Chris above my Tv.

I give it an unfortunate C-

There are prob some military fanatics that will enjoy it more than I did. 

"Dude, did you see that blah blah blah 17 with the blah blah... clip... latch?"

"Yeah, bro, that blah blah blah was awesome... blah blah blah."

But, I need a lil bit more, personally.

Though I guess it's still a good make-out movie. Although, I would have had to stop periodically.

*kisses* "Baby, stop a sec. See, that was a perfect opportunity to build some character... to make me care about what's going on. The praphit needs connection."

*kisses* "Wait, wait... Chris has a close-up."

*attempted kisses* "Not when he has a close-up, ok??! We talked about this!"

I had higher hopes, but... still decent.

Ok, so SPOILER ALERT

2 things:

1) There's a villain in here (I didn't mention him, cuz they didn't do much with him). The pretty woman that I mentioned sneaks into the bathroom where the villain is. The villain is finishing up peeing at the urinal, and next to him is the pretty woman, who shoots him in the head.

I wonder though... was she there peeing at the urinal? - like... does she have something going on down there?

2) Tyler Rake dies... or does he?

The kid survives, and is at the bottom of a pool, meditating like his "hero". When he comes up for air, he sees a blurred image that looks a lot like Tyler Rake.

Possibilites:

a) Maybe he gets adopted by someone who looks like Chris Hemsworth (as if)...or who got surgery to look like him.

b) It's one of the other Hemsworths who adopted him.

Kid: "Were you the one who was with Miley Cyrus? Yeah, that's pass for me. I can't have a guardian with such poor judgment."

c) The kid is crazy

d) Ghost Rake! Yes!

e) Tyler is alive! And he was resurrected by witches.

Regardless, I'd be up for a sequel. I'm rooting for "Ghost Rake" and something going on down there with the pretty woman.

[mikkock]

Uhm??????? Unacceptable?? Please tell me more about your OCs in that last art? I demand it? I want a full report on my desk before morning? Cite your sources please?

Oh no,, you’re asking,,, about my own faves,,, sorry to everyone, but I guess im never going to shut up ever now. (i already don’t shut up ever, what have u done, im now going to speak so much that society will collapse AT LEAST)

But for real. I enjoy pretending I don’t have faves, I love all my kids the same, buT WE ALL KNO THAT’S A LIE, those two my fave bitches (they snatched that title from the last two faves, rip to them, and they also snatched, n I must really make that clear, the title of “the bitches with the most AUs from the previous previous faves. Their power.)

SO. Get ready for a ride, table of content: them, their respective character, their story, and the pLETHORA OF ALTERNATE STORIES I GAVE THEM because i must yell about all the versions of my kids i have (non-exhaustive cause its that serious bro, but ill take extra time for the universe depicted in that art just for u bby). (tbh if clamp is allowed to sprinkle their fave gays in all their universes so am i, except they aint secondary characters there, every story is just theirs. love that concept.)(itll be so long you’re getting a whole novel even if i have to post it in two posts)

So~ Em twos. Dari n Wei-wei as I call em, or Dumbass n Egg if you wanna get friendly.

They’re my proudest instance of “oops i made a squad of characters, and two of them just accidentally were so perfectly compatible and complementary oh no I guess they’re in love now.” And then they became my favourite. Cause I guess their potential was too much (jk its bc they hot)

cuties.

I spent ten minutes wondering which to introduce first cause dang son, I want to talk bout them both so much shefjgfdg

First, as I technically designed him first (like ten minutes before the other), my man weiwei. if u ever saw my art its impossible that you havent seen him at least once. cause i’m legit always drawing him. cause im in love bro.

Demonstration : here are my computer scribbled weiweis of 2020 so far (with a few daris there n there they’re a package deal), that i could find, and they do not include all the paper sketches that i’m too lazy to take pics of. (i just been drawing him with so much hair these days that’s illegal, his brand is baldness)

But anyway, he’s CHEN Chia-Wei, he’s 21, he’s Taiwanese n I love him. Two very important facets of his character when you meet him: he doesn’t talk, and is absolutely, in every single dimension, built to make you fall head over heels for him.

He’s (in the “canon” storyline if i may call it that since it’s def not my most developed one but oh well) an art student, mostly paints but is also great at photography and videography (his vibe is busy hectic pieces with strong bold colours, lots of harsh edges, and very people focused).

Aside from that, he’s also super into fashion, and because he’s part of the rich boy squad (the “im broke so im giving half my characters wealth in compensation) he Can and Does exhibit some quite funky fits when he feels like it. (maybe a reason I draw him a lot, since my fave thing is pretty boys in weird ass clothes)(and then i also draw him in just casual shit cuz tittiful men in plain white tees you know. there’s just something about it.)

Small compilation of outfits. ft me and my band handwriting roasting outfits that id also kill to own but ok u know.

He digs music. (i make playlists for my OCs and i gotta say, his is the best one, i spent so many hours researching it, “arranging” it etc n its still a work in progress but dude. she got many moods my fave part is when it suddenly turns into so many cheesy ballads also she’s enormous cause im as wordy in playlists as I am in writing.) listens to a lot, n also he can play piano n guitar. cause you know. heartthrobs got to win your heart with a song (and if he’s alone he can even mumble some songs, who knows maybe even sing em softly, definitly a sight to stumble on accidentally). Big main artists that have his vibes are Hello Nico, No Party for Cao Dong, n Circa Waves’s “what’s it like over there” album.

He does a lot of sports. He ain’t fit through magic, rip to him. He’s got a serious routine, and it’s a time he likes to use alone, cause nothing like running at the break of dawn, alone with your thoughts, which you can just easily forget through the exhaustion of a workout session afterwards.

he also eats. A lot. Food is just good, bro. (the canon story is def happening some place europe aka his biggest struggle is how expensive food is here. outrageous.)

He secretly loves super cheesy movies. the dramatic romcoms??? the cute shows that are just so cute and worriless?? anything involving soulmates??? yeh dude. he watches it, he reads it, he listens to it, and he may cry about it, but no one will know. That’s the one true guilty pleasure. (and he definitly has a collection of romance dvds, books n manhuas in his old room back at the family home. where no one can see it. perks of studying abroad. no one can see ur hoarding of material that clashes your image. “yes i watch edgy experimental things haha yes i love those smart people movies of course wow the philosophy…” and then immediatly goes to watch the trashiest predictable but oh so sweet dramas all night)

While he doesn’t speak (as in with the mouth) he can communicate in a bunch of language, due to having moved around quite a bit. On top of his native mandarin and hokkien, he’s fluent in English, so he can use those to write, and is also fluent in TSL, and pretty good in HKSL (and from that, other close-in-syntax sign languages). So he doesn’t have trouble getting around, but then he is also overall quiet in public (with close friends and over text though, that’s another story, that’s where he gets chattier, and also where you may get more of his true personality). Also, he can speak with his sister. That’s pretty cool bro.

I was going to say he’s a very “hides his true colours under a shell” type of character but you know, for an egg character, that’s pretty ironic. We love poetic cinema.

He presents himself as a very laid back, chill detached dude, going with the flow and all that great stuff, and masterfully mixes just the right doses of mysterious, flirty and calm to just go around vibing. But ain’t that jUST THE MILLENIAL’S ILLNESS, those dANG KIDS, going around, gettin relationships but never intimacy 👏😢 (there’s more to it dont leave)

First of all, before you see the Drama, the Turmoil, the first thing you notice when you really do befriend him is that he’s c h i l d i s h, he gets sulky when things dont go following the plan, he gets whiny n jealous for not getting attention , he gets competitive over stupid challenges, and way too playful if you start teasing, and when he gets flustered too…you think you get cool stoic dude but actually you get a dude who’s reacting to things with way too much intensity, and boi i thought u were gon be mature what’s that why have you been pouting for three days over losing a bet come on- That’s mostly coming up when he interacts with his sister, but the closest you are to him to more of it you get to see.

He’s also an affectionate dude actually. Like physically. As in you’ll get spontaneous hugs. He’s come nap on your shoulder. That’s a perk of befriending him if you ask me.

Also he tries to look so cool, so tough haha. He’s actually a lil sensitiv boi. he gets fluffy, he gets flustered, he heart eyes. you turn around and he’s gazing at ya as if you were the whole universe. he gets a mini crisis for holding hands with his crush. ya know. he’s secretly a softie.

nerd.

Then in the “what he doesn’t show” (my fave part), where you stock all the anxieties, all the trauma… Obviously there’s a lot of anxiety here (selective muteness being a symptom of it, he hides the other ones very well) mostly fear of inadequacy, of abandonement and of loneliness. mmmmmmmaybe that’s why he was v reticent to continue pursuing that one guy he was into when he realised he was just a tad too into him oh no is that some,, like?? some lovey-love?? cant have that im afraid of gettin heartbroken bro. Aint that sad for a someone who’s one true goal is just findin someone to love and to be with forever, the struggles of yearnin for a soulmate when there’s nothing you fear more than getting attached to a person and letting them see you and your flaws.., delicious.

Now tho (because its so alone speaking about a character on their own and i just wanna get to the part where i can speak bout em together and how they bring out bits of each others ya kno, the good kush….), Dari…

He’s pretty, i must say, and got the funniest hair to draw, and comes from the most opposite background to weiwei’s.

Darian Andriev PARVANOV, also 21, comes from the remote Bulgarian countryside, but i still love him (this makes it sound as if i wouldnt normally love someone from the bulgarian countryside. its not what i meant. by default ud remind me of my son so you’d start being liked if u came from the bulgarian countryside) Now for the first instance of “wow, the complementarity”. The first thing i thought making Dari was that he looked too cool, and that he obviously was a dumbass, and mostly that he was physically unable to shut up. (o fuck he’s me)

best picture i could find of him. He’s got the dilemma of “wow he looked so pretty n cool until he opened his mouth” 

He’s ALSO an art student (cause they were initially created for the purpose of filling the gap of “i have ocs in every field except the one i sorta know that’s so stupid”), painting major (def vibes differently than weiwei though, he’s doing those soft pretty landscapes n flowers, everything real pretty and peaceful, we got some impressionism nerd in here folks). 

He was/is a real country boy, farm family, he helped tend the fields, he worked in plantations for pocket money, he knows how to take care of cattle and chicken and goats and all the cool babies you can take care of, he can tell whether the soil is good or not, he can drive a tractor, and doesnt fear dirt.

but then also he’s kind of a neat freak, he hates getting paint on himself, so the duality of man, dirt ok but paint? disgostin. his spaces are real neat and spotless, he likes cleaning (its relaxing) and does it nearly too often.

his dumbassery comes from lack of common sense and impulsiveness, aside from that he’s actually what you’d call “mad smart”, dude had em good grades, he can memorise pages upon pages of the most trivial information, he has an accumulation of knowledge beyond limits, and is good at problem solving. so he can recite all the words of the F letter of the dictionnary, but would also put a curling iron in his mouth to see if it would curl his tongue. (side note, he does have a problem with heat n fire, most his “oopsie how i wound up hurting myself on acccident” story involve burning -that stove was just too tempting…)

while he doesnt feel very attached to his home country, he does feel strongly for his family. he’d do anything for his mum (and actually does everything to make her proud already, that’s his one main goal), and he’s ready to sacrifice a lot for her (as in, spend years working non-stop a really uncomfortable job so his mother wouldnt have to pay a cent of his expenses even though she said she could by doing some sacrifices herself,and then being ready to come back as soon as needed if anything happened, and potentially drop his career and dream n go back to the farm life to provide for mama)(also he still does hold onto some parts of his home country’s traditions, and does sometimes feel homesick but more in a ‘i left the most beautiful landscapes n the city feels cramped and claustrophobic and i dont know people and i dont feel in the right place cuz im a forreigner with a thicc accent who doesnt master the language of this place and straight up have different body language communicators due to cultural difference oh lord i wanna be home where a nod means no and a head shake is yes i keep misunderstanding everything”)

if you want background noise he’s the perfect pal to call over, he’s just so chatty, he got hours and hours of non stop speech ready for you. you can shut him up once you’re done listening with the offering of food. works everytime.

he’s definitly not shy. neither in terms of talking to people, nor when it comes to making decisions. he’s quite bold, and rarely hesitates to go towards something he wants. he’s direct in his approach to most everything.

he likes partying. mostly the socialising part, talkin to people is just fun ya feel. and being in the crowd, doing whatever, pressure free? ya can dance n enjoy yourself, and people wont notice? yeah that’s nice. but doesnt do it super often cause broke bitches aint got the party time n budget. 

he likes arm. (just an excuse for me to drop this thing here cuz i like it)

While he’s an overall bubbly looking character, with a cheery loud personnality, he does carry some youth trauma that has him more reticent to engage in happiness, he comes from what you could call “not the wokest background” and he may have fallen victim of it : he’s kind of a flashy noticeable character, both physically and in his personnality, and doesnt exactly matches the expectations of dudes in the area he comes from (delicate, emotional and sweet guy? that doesnt exist bro). He went through it, and it has definitly had some impact on his confidence in many aspects. But he’s 100% the type of guy to put on the fake happy front because if feeling bad is sad, making the people you care about sad for you too is Unacceptable Right??? relying on friends?? what???

But then what are we supposed to be doing with such charming characters huh,,, 

Make them fall in love obviously.

Their story obviously has to do with falling in love and workin a relationship cause if I dont write romance i literally die, but I make the center pivot of all of it communication, and barriers in communications. Most obvious being them coming from wildly different cultures, having different native languages, and also the ways you adapt to muteness (what i love most bout that part is even then they fucked up given the easiest quickest small body language things to communicate are head nods n then i managed to make one come from the one country that reverses those like iconic how do they even understand each other -through a lot of work and love bro) but also on more “introspective” points, how to say things that you are even afraid to think about, how to open up and share your burdens and trauma with someone, how to say words you’ve been convinced you weren’t allowed to, the inner turmoil of communication in short. And then also communication through art, and through alternative unusual ways. If i were snobbish i could call it something like “a thinkpieces on how humans overcome obstacles in communication, and adapt, all for the sake of pursuing love” but fact is its mostly boys being in love n learning how to speak, figuratively and also quite literally. And also its me having fun with making characters evolve from each other, be able to influence each other for the better, helping each other be more comfortable with themselves and express the true things of their personnality, and discover new aspects. I just wanna write intense and soulful love bro.

So in less concept and more facts, weiwei meets dari, dari being his puppy self just immediatly strikes a conversation and weiwei gets interested cause “oho nice pretty boy? very good. i want some of that”. they get closer because you cant fight off the Power of friendship (and also the power of “what your friend is bestie with my friend?? guess we hanging out”) and then friendship and interest turns into pining, held back by respective dread of what romance with the other would mean (as in “romance?? cant have that we cant feel” and “with him?? cant do that, convince yourself he’s just a friend immediatly what would the family think”) but eventually they do have to just crash into one another cause that’s just the gravitational pull bro, its physics bro. and from then on its all unlearning destructive behaviours, bettering oneself with the help of the other, and getting over trauma to finally live ur best life. and gettin fckin married bro they’re both cheeseballs theyll wanna wed

BUT MAKING EM FALL IN LOVE ONCE ISNT ENOUGH time to make 3894853 alternate universes about em.

Lets speak bout my fave of those for a hot second.

First of all, the one of the art that brought this ask, guess i could call it “Pretty Tribes” AU, bunch of tribes live and do their things, having nature and energy powers. Dari n Weiwei’s tribes are bros, the latter’s powers needing them to move around to get energy from different places, enabling them different abilities. So basically they get to hang at the other’s place while the regenerate energy from there, and in exchange they help them out with various tasks (dari’s tribe is a rly farmer oriented one, with plant magic, while weiwei’s got more poyvalent powers, and have very good healers notably, so it comes in handy). The two boys were born a few months apart in their respective tribes, so naturally, anything the two clans meet, they’re put together to play and all, and from that they became besties, and each time they meet, after the gaps of time separating the two groups, they feel more and more of a little something else~ story is themed round growing up, friendship between clans, their traditions and cultures, and pretty boys in pretty clothes in pretty landscapes interacting with nature.

The superpower AU, i fuckin love it bro. Its an old one, made for other characters, but i just love it so much that i had to inject my faves in it. Its got a grimy ugly setting, bad government, propaganda, and fights between super-people (heavily mediatised for entertainment and reinforcing the idea that “look at these evil villains thank god us the good government protects you from them”), with a side of bad ethics in science. In all that, those two have the role of “those two young enemy warrior and villain, they were so powerful and fought so hard”, public figures, legendary and admired by both sides, everyone followed their fights, til one day they presumably died in one of their showdowns. (haha sike they actually found themselves talking for 5 seconds and realised they lived in a society, n built a plan to run away). The main characters get to find they’re alive because one of em had history with super-warrior-golden-boy and go to seek their help to overthrow the Big Bads. (stealing them from their nice gay cottage hermit life smh so rude)

Mermaids. I like those. Sailor weiwei sees merman dari, they both save each other in different occasions, they grow fascinated with each other, they’re at sea, water romance. Amazing. AU made half cuz i just like water n fish. and shirtless sailors.

(i couldnt find art of it in five minutes so have a link to that lil animatic piece i made of it once)

Indie band AU, where i was listening to songs that vibe so well with those two in general n then my brain was like “what if they’re the ones playing”. They’re (along with the rest of the art squad) a nice little alternative rock band, doing their thing, then one of their songs blows up, and they get quite the attention, to the dismay of dari who wrote that song in a moment of “oh no im so in love with my bandmate but i cant tell him what if i ruin everything we have going on ill just have to love from afar and deal with that” and now has way too many people interested in who he wrote it about and theorising from his every move when performing it (a mix of music, secret crushes and social media) (ft a picture of neither of them but its the least ugly art i found of this AU cuz its old and instruments are the bane of my existence)(also kelana is so pretty i gotta flaunt her around)

in kind of the same vibe, as in we’re in a music world overexposed to social media, i also integrated em to an AU i did for fun, “boyband AU” as its called aka idol based band system cuz you kno, i got a hobby, lets apply it. Band boy Dari and bodyguard Weiwei got a thing going on, but can’t really act on it in any way, because they’d just destroy the whole band if it ever came public. Featuring annoying bandmates, catchy pop songs and people making fanaccounts of that one hot Mr.Bodyguard cause dang he hot.

(all the art of this one so ugly im sorry)

SPY AU, one of my fave brand. They spies, they get assigned on the same mission, they work real nice with each other. spies hot. fights. strategy. i just like the concept. Gays taking down the worst traffics imaginable??? I love that song.(i actually have so much on this cause s p i e s are fuckin great)

Fashion. U kNOW i have an AU for fashion. Supermodel and his private stylist, trying to maintain the line of professionalism. And failing to do so. Lets make out in unpractical designer clothes.

Have an highschool AU for a bunch of characters, injected them as “spinoff”, start chatting online being art buddies, fall in love without meeting (ft. all the iconics of internet friendship like knowing tiny details of their personnalities but not the fact that they have a sister or “waIT ur a GUY i thought u were a girl wow wild good news for my gay ass”)

n those are my faves as far as i remember, i got a fuckton of small other ones that arent fleshed out enough, or some that are more of a guilty pleasure universe, and some that are more like “projects that i can expend on as soon as i run out of daydream material” (like u kno those hospital drama shows with super innacurate medicine n shit like idk scrubs or whatever, yeh i want some of that but im keeping it for later)

[hearteyes-for-killmonger]

No Place Like Home💜

Dedicated to @marvelpotterlove 💜 Thank you for commissioning me and trusting me with your fic. This was a five part series, but I extended it. Basically broke the final chapter in half. Reader is a single real estate agent in Cali. There will be fluff and mild drama. Word Count: 2,338

•▪• ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ •▪• ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ •▪•

Part Five: Boiling Point

"Girl. I don't understand how you're related to those haters, but you'd better get out before they drag you down. They ugly, petty, got bad weave, and they evil, child! I'll be damned if I see you come back with a fucked up closure or damaged leave out all because them city bumpkins can't take!" Ang is right, the fam is toxic and annoying, and they keep trying you but as much as you complain you can't just make yourself drop them.. they're your family.

"They are complete messes, yes, but they're still blood, Ang. Unfortunately, it's thicker than water."

"That's not how the full phrase goes, it's a dangerous misinterpretation," Erik interjects. He's been lying on the bottom bunk with you, chillin. "The actual phrase is 'The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.' You're more tightly bound to the family you choose than the family you're assigned at birth. So in essence... Cut them bitches off and level up."

"Is that restaurant boy?! I wanna see him, I haven't laid eyes on him yet. Let me facetime. Can he hear me?"

"No, he c-"

"Yes, I can hear you," he cuts in again and you have to wonder now what else he's heard. Probably a lot more than you care to think about or unpack. She FaceTimes and you angle the phone at Erik. He salutes with two fingers and her voice goes up what sounds like ten octaves.

"Ok! You are cuuuuteee!" Her grin is so wide showing all her perfect teeth. His answering smile is lazy and sweet, his lids floating shut with long lashes on display.

"Cute? Sis, I'm a grown ass man."

"You right, Sir. You fine as hell. Damn. Y/N? Damn. I know you better, hmmm.. Girl!"

"She did," Erik blurts causing your heart rate to spike. You smack him in the arm to shut him up. The screen angle changes and you're suddenly staring at the seat cushion of Ang's car. Her grinning face eventually comes back into view.

"BITCH! Are you two a thing now, or? Because this needs to happen. Here I am expecting you to look depressed and you're there thriving. Look at you all boo'd up."

"We're not a thing. He was just helping me.. de-stress."

"Righhht... His dick just happened to slip inside of you for therapeutic purposes," Ang's angular brow rose in faux judgement.

"Aight but tell her about the bachelorette party," Erik interjected. Your deep sigh gave away the nature of the story.

"What they do," Ang demanded to know, protective as ever.

---

Screams mingled with a loud masculine voice in the living room, "Get down! All of you! On the floor!" Instantly you and cousin Shaquel dropped to the floor behind the counter, silent and out of sight, listening. Your heart heaved in your chest. "Looks like you women were having a party," a second man's voice yells. "All you need is the.. Strippers!" In unison they yelled and the women's fear turned into loud hoops and aggressive cheers.

"Damn.. I dropped my cheesestick," Shaquel groaned kissing her teeth. You were just glad they were strippers and not robbers. Heading into the living room, you found a space in the audience and sipped on your third canned soda of the night. Jamila's future in-laws were long gone. Mom and Aunt Iris were gone. That one was probably for the best. Looking at the strippers, only one was cute. The cute one was chocolate with small dark eyes are bow shaped lips. He was cut but still thick and a bit stocky. The way he danced, he was working hard for his coin. The other guy couldn't really dance so much as grind and thrust, but the cute one was putting on a show. 'When We' by Tank came on and he killed that dance like he was auditioning for the next Step Up movie. You took a few dollars from your pocket to throw out of respect. That man was working.

"I know you ain't thirsting over a stripper when you got that delectable piece of ass you don't near deserve. I'll never understand that one," Jamira said cutting her eyes. Why she was staring at you, you didn't know. It was actually hilarious because here she was engaged and still flirting with your man in front of you. You were tempted to tell her about herself.

"Jamira, I've been real patient with you.. Don't try me right now."

"Or what? My nigga you mad 'cause I'm right. That nigga too cute for yo ugl'ass. Die mad."

"Jamira? Turn around and enjoy your strippers," you cautioned, "I'm over here minding my business."

"If you wanted to watch the stripper, you'd watch the stripper, but you running ya mouth. Obviously you got some shit to say!" The party was shifting, the animosity growing. Jamira was drunk and starting to really speak her mind. A bridesmaid came to her side, rubbing her arm to calm her but she snatched away, clapping to emphasize her words. "Nah, this fatass bitch always wanna sit back and judge some shit like she somebody important and she ain't, but she think cuz she got a little money or whatever she better than us."

Whoah, never had you uttered those words and if you ever thought ill of them, it all stemmed from the way they treated you. You'd never dare to treat anyone the way these folks treated you and they called themselves your family? The disrespect was real. "I don't know what gave you that impression, but I never disrespected any of you guys. That's something unique to you, mom, and Aunt Iris." Jamira couldn't hear nor was she listening, she just kept yelling and it was obvious she was trying to find a way to hurt you with her words. It was what the family did best, lash out.

"She just a stuck-up, nappy-ass nobody trying to be special in Cali and I hope that pretty ass nigga runs right over through her ass because she ain't shit and ain't gone be shit.. and that's what the fuck I got to say." She collapsed into the sofa and commanded the attention to return to the strippers with an aggressive hand gesture. Immediately, the onlookers refocused on the dancers unwilling to piss off the bride-to-be.

Part of you said drop it and let her have it, but the part of you that had grown stronger and stronger since arriving back in New York told you to stand firm. You'd let Jamira, your mom, and your aunt 'have it' way too many times over the years and honestly you were beyond fed up.

"If I'm stuck up, Jamira, I deserve to be. I work for everything I got and I do it well. This nappy ass hair? It's healthy, it's thick, it's strong, and it's long." You flipped your pressed inches. "..Just like my man's dick and no matter how many times you come onto him like a cheap prom date from Hell, you will never get it."

"That's what you think? Heh. Watch me. I'll be sitting on his face before you leave town," Jamira replied boldly. No one in the room knew what to do, but watch the spat. The strippers stopped moving, unsure of whether to continue.

"No. You watch yourself because the next time you say or do something trifling to me I'll really embarrass you," you pointed willing to take it there.

"Bitch, you can't do a damn thing," Jamira snapped jumping up. She stood inches away looking as if she was ready to swing and she was inching closer like she was about to.

"If you want to get married with a black eye, touch me. I beat your ass in high school I can do it again--"

"NO! ..No. We not doing this. Jamira, sit down! Y/N? Just leave, okay? Nothing against you, but leave," Shaquel waved toward the door and without a glance backward, you exited stage left. You were still heated. Once outside, you had to call an uber. All this ubering made you wish you never came back to New York in the first place. It was pricey. After standing outside for fifteen minutes, a car finally came to take you back to the house.

"Why you back here, ain't you supposed to be at the bachelor party," India said letting you in. Obviously, you'd interrupted her slumber. She yawned loudly. Erik must've been upstairs in the room. "I got sleepy and decided to turn in early," you lied. "Bullshit. I heard you was out causing problems," she sighed accusingly. Instead of responding, you headed for the stairs.

"Don't walk away from me in my house, get your ass back here and answer me," India croaked. "Why you out here causing problems with my daughter like you ain't got no damn sense?"

"Did you know your daughter tried to sleep with my boyfriend?" He may have been a fake boyfriend, but she didn't know that!

"Hmph," India scoffed with a slight smirk, "That's what ya ass get for parading him. If ya'll so tight, why you worried?"

"You know what mom? I let a lot of things go and I shut my mouth and maybe that's why y'all think I'm some doormat, but I'm done holding my tongue.."

"Child please, save the dramatics for Cali. We're all adults in this house. If you bold enough to say something, say it!"

"I'm not doing this tonight," you sighed knowing a whole guilt trip was coming. "I'm going to bed."

"You going to bed.. hmph. I carried you for nine months and then I carried you and your sister until you were eighteen, but you going to bed. Must feel good to be spoiled with all this damn freedom. Leaving whenever the hell you please. Hell, I wanted to sleep but you done woke my ass up knocking on my damn door! The sacrifices I made for this family, I did to keep us together and then your lil raggedy fast ass wanna run to California and rub elbows with the rich and famous like we ain't shit. If anything you need to look inside yaself and get that straight. You're ungrateful and you're selfish. Your daddy was a selfish deadbeat and you turned out just like his ass, despite my teaching. I was your mother and your father.. and you just gone leave across the country? What about us?"

"I sent you guys money and I visited, but how often do you expect me to visit when every time I come all you do is tell me I'm ugly, I'm fat, I'm selfish, I'll never get a man. Every time I come here you do anything you to try to break me down. Since I was fifteen! That's all you've done! Of course I don't wanna be around that!"

"You just can't take criticism. You never could. Just like ya big-headed daddy. I hope to God you have a kid one day. I do. One who will ruin your damn life and expose to you just how selfish you are so you can see!"

"Goodnight," you waved dismissively walking to the stairs. She kept talking as you ascended, but you tuned her out. Everything but the threat.

"Be at the wedding rehearsal tomorrow. Grown heifer. And I swear if you mess things up we're gonna have a real problem."

Without a response, you turned the corner spotting Erik. He was standing in the hall, listening. He stretched out his arms and you walked into them resting your head against his chest. You stayed like that for a while before the two of you went back to the room. You were so over this wedding, India, and Jamila.

"You finally snapped," Erik said staring at you in awe. You'd wanted to do that for so long and you still didn't say what you could've said, but as irritated as you were it felt good to talk back. It was obvious he was trying not to say too much, but it looked like he had lot to say.

"You should've heard me at the the bachelorette party," you offered and his eyes begged for more information. You recounted the whole night from the time he left up to the point where you almost fought your sister at her own party.

"What would you say if we didn't go to the wedding," you asked trying to figure out your next move. Erik shrugged, leaving the decision in your hands. "I'll do whatever you want. I'm here for you," he stressed. Hm. You could go to the wedding like planned, suck it up and then disappear right back to Cali. You could pack up and leave the house right now to stay at a hotel. You could even go back downstairs to say how you really felt. The options were limitless. You decided to think on it longer. In fact, you'd sleep on it. Decide tomorrow.

"You need some head to clear your mind?" Erik smirked. He'd been watching you brainstorm. It was an interesting offer, an option you hadn't considered. "Get some head, go to sleep, and whatever you choose to do in the morning, I'll roll with it," he suggested. It was a solid plan.

"Okay... but I need to work off some of this tension and negative energy so let me suck your dick instead."

He jerked back slightly in surprise, "Who said we can't do both? But I'm going first."

"Who's this supposed to be for, me or you," you teased feeling lighter already. There was something about his energy that could lift a person out of any cloud of negativity. It was like he'd been through so much personally, he could relate to anything. His presence was a miracle and a blessing.

---

"So I interrupted y'alls little sinfest," Ang smiled. Throughout the story her expression had changed more times than Kanye's allegiance. She was on an emotional rollercoaster and you knew she was right there with you in all that you were saying. "Don't go," she said firmly. "Leave those chickenheads where they are and check into a hotel. I will finance it myself, just leave." She was so serious. She never liked the fam, especially Jamira. The white couch incident was still clear in her mind.

"I'm going to sleep and then I'm going to make a decision tomorrow. I'll keep you updated."

"Alrighty. Well you two kids have fun and 'de-stress'," Ang said with air quotes. She couldn't stop smiling, though it was slight, you knew your friend and from the bottom of her heart she believed you and Erik were together or about to become an item. To be honest, it would be nice. He presence alone did so much for your mood and he was so wise and considerate. You needed him around in your daily life to keep you emotionally and mentally stable. After signing off with Ang, you curled up with Erik behind you on the lower bunk and went to sleep.

@hold-me-like-a-heart-beat @simplyyamberr @whoramilaje @bitemyxxx @bonita-juanita @eriknutinthispoosy @blackpinup22 @thadelightfulone @yaachtynoboat711 @youreadthatright @inlovewithmakeupcomicsanimelove @bidibidibombaclaat @priya212 @romanceoftheeveryday @muse-of-mbaku @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade @kreolemami @myboyfriendgiriboy @loosewindmill @wakanda-inspired @madbadsiren @theunsweetenedtruth @panthergoddessbast @allhailnjadaka @amethyst1993 @ange-sensuel @thehomierobbstark @purplehairgawdess @supersizemeplz @blackpantherismyish @drsunshine97 @thiccdaddy-mbaku @wawakanda-btch @killmongersmisstress @imaginewhoever @nemesispawn @niggarachi15 @hidden-treasures21 @pupyluv247 @phoenixxx1225 @violet-ines @indigoxsummers @janelledarling @imasmille  @sweetsexysavagery @mermaidchansons @destinio1 @ash-moneyy @ljstraightnochaser @forbeautyandlife @iamrheaspeaks @elle-luring @yoyolovesbucky @ilovebubblesz @awkardlyabstract @beautifulqueenflaws @slimmiyagi @sidneebleu

[mysterioushogwartsrequests]

Very beautiful your written. Part 3 would be good for Smugglers, showing after marriage. I wonder how Charlie would rule knowing that he will be a father. (How about they are twins)

This is part 3 of the Smugglers series!

I want to write a separate one for their wedding so if you guys want to see that, please let me know! Oh and if you want to see a separate thing for their honeymoon let me know as well. Also, I’m really bad at coming up with titles LOL

C/ O/Cmeans Color of choice bc the whole “favorite color” thing is so eh to me sometimes, lol.

There is some jumping back and forth, but everything in 1996-1997 takes place during the events of The Half-Blood Prince with some flashbacks to the Triwizard Tournament in 1995

Smugglers (Part 1)

Together (Part 2)

Title: Delivery 

Somewhere in England. November 1996.

Charlie Weasley, renowned Dragonologist, doting a husband, and father to be had been married to master curse-breaker, (Y/N) Weasley for almost two years. After their engagement at the 1994 Quidditch World Cup, the pair quickly worked on the arrangements for their wedding which took place on January 5th, 1995 during the holiday break. It was an extravagant affair with guests from all over Europe and a wonderful time to catch up with their school friends before traveling once again.

With best wishes from their friends and relatives, the Newlyweds traveled to Paris for sight-seeing and, of course, to scout for magical creatures. Charlie was ecstatic to see the types of creatures native to France, but the sight of you engulfed by moonlight at the top of the Effiel Tower was the most breathtaking of all. It was rather cold in France and (Y/N) often found herself nestled in Charlie’s arms after a long day of walking, the warthm radiating off his body providing more comfort than the silky hotel sheets. Although they were far from home, they received letters from their families and The Order of the Phoenix.

Professor Trelawney had predicted the return on the Dark Lord and she stated it would be soon. Dumbledore called the Order into business again, preparing for the incoming threat, and repeating how it was absolutely essential Harry Potter did not come in contact with any Death Eaters.

After their lovely trip, the pair returned to The Burrow and began the search for a home they could call their own. Their search, however, did not take up very much of their time. Jacob, (Y/N)’s older brother arrived unexpectedly at the Weasley home, positively beaming at his younger sister when he announced he had found the perfect home for them. Much like Grimmauld Place, the home he proposed was safeguarded from any danger, but a home where a young couple could start a family when they saw fit.

Jacob Selwyn traveled the globe as well, accompanied by Angelica Cole and Felix Rosier. The three met at the wedding reception and hit it off right away, immediately departing to break curses in the United States. Their adventures kept them rather busy so he did not write often, but on the occasions his Great Grey Owl swooped into their home, (Y/N) could not help but tear the envelope apart. His success in another country had granted him a large fortune, one he used to repay his younger sister for all the trouble she went through while at Hogwarts. With this large sum of money, he contracted some Scottish wizards to build a home near the riverside and spared no expense to make sure they were comfortable. Charlie and (Y/N) were over the moon when Jacob mentioned the house and even though they felt bad for receiving such a large gift, Jacob insisted.

“Jacob, seriously,” pleaded (Y/N) for the fourth time that evening, reaching into the velvet sack that kept their savings, “At least take a couple of galleons.” She insisted, holding the golden coins out towards her brother, who kept shoving her hands away.

“I said no, baby-sis,” Jacob chuckled, slidding away from (Y/N) as she attempted to force the coins into his palms, “I’m not taking any of your money so you better just put it away.”

(Y/N) frowned as they stood alone in the Weasley kitchen, “You didn’t have to blow all your money on us! You’ve got your own responsibilities-”

“(Y/N), listen!” Jacob interjected, gripping her shoulders tightly, “I had to do this for you. All those years you spent at Hogwarts... tormented by other students because of what I did,” He began, his voice wavering slightly when his eyes met hers, “It wasn’t fair to you... this is the least I can do...”

(Y/N) bit her lip, she had never heard her brother speak like this to her, but she knew it was something he had bottled up for years, “Jacob, I-”

“Please,” implored Jacob solemnly, “Let me do this for you and Charlie.” A strangled sob slid past her lips as she flung herself into Jacob’s arms, tightly embracing him after many months of not seeing him.

After that, it did not take much convincing for the couple to settle into their home. However, what Jacob described as a “decent” sized place seemed to differ from Charlie and (Y/N)’s perspective. The three of them apparated onto a seemingly empty patch of greenery, the large trees obscuring the well-constructed house from view.

As they stepped through the trees, the large house came into view and (Y/N) felt her jaw drop immediately. It was a two story home with five, well-decorated bedrooms and four bathrooms split between the two floors. The kitchen was made out of the finest white marble, complete with an island and a granite fireplace separating the kitchen from the sitting room. Down the hall from the sitting room stood a home office and a stairwell that led towards a vast basement, filled with shelves containing various magical artifacts (Y/N) had collected as a Curse-Breaker.

“I can’t believe this,” uttered (Y/N) as she unpacked the box of kitchenware with Charlie, “We’re almost done unpacking and the house still seems empty”

Charlie smiled, looking over his shoulder to glance at his wife, “Don’t worry, Darling,” he replied, stepping towards her and brushing a strand of her hair behind her ear, “I still have some money left over from the Triwizard Tournament, I can use it to buy anything you need~” He crooned, pulling her in for a sweet kiss.

1995

After settling in, they received an owl from Mr. Weasley, asking them to accompany them to the final task of the Triwizard Tournament along with his wife and Bill. Everyone was aware of Harry Potter’s mysterious entry in the Triwizard Tournament and although there were some people resenting him for it, The Weasleys and (Y/N) supported him all the way through (except for Ron at one point).

“Let’s go, Mrs. Charlie Weasley” Charlie chimed happily, taking a handful of Floo Powder from the designated jar as his wife excitedly stomped down the stairs. He stepped into the granite fireplace, a smile decorating his features when she entered the kitchen, quickly snatching her purse from their countertop.

“Be right there, Mr. Weasley” She announced, looking over the surroundings of their house, making sure she had grabbed everything. Quite some time had passed since they first moved in and she still wasn’t accustomed to the vastness of their home. Taking Charlie’s hand, he smiled and released the Floo powder, yelling out, “Number Twelve Grimmauld Place!”

The fireplace at Grimmauld Place lit up and the couple stepped out, greeted by Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, and Nymphadora Tonks. Normally, everyone would be frightened at the sight of Sirius, but after some explaining, it became clear that he was not the one who betrayed James Potter.

(Y/N) grinned, hugging her old friend tightly, “I swear, your hair changes every day now” she said and Tonks laughed, giving her shrug

“A change is always enjoyable” Tonks stated and slapped an unsuspecting Charlie on the arm, “You look the same, but I think you have a few more scars than I remember”

Charlie laughed and hugged Tonks, “I like them quite a lot, thank you very much” He admitted jokingly, “Shows I get the job done.”

“You’re ridiculous,” scoffed (Y/N), nudging Charlie’s shoulder as they settled at the dining room table. The five of them had dinner before departing for Hogwarts in order to attend the task on time.

The crowds were cheering, trumpets playing, there were a million banners each in support of one of the four contestants. Cedric Diggory greeted Mr. Weasley with a handshake and he did the same for Charlie and (Y/N) whom he had met earlier during the World Cup.

He politely excused himself and walked down to the area in front of the maze. Harry nervously walked in, waving at the Weasleys and as soon as his friends noticed his appearance, Seamus Finnigan blew an air-horn in support for his friend.

Bill scooted closer to his brother with a grin on his face, “I see the married life is treating ya well” He announced, glancing a the purple mark at the base of his neck, “Might want to hide that sucker next time though”

Charlie blushed, slapping his hand over the mark, “You’re always messing with me” He muttered, shooting his brother a joking glare and Bill wrapped an arm around him

“Cuz you make it so bloody easy” He stated and Charlie huffed, shrugging his arm off.

After an announcement from Dumbledore, the task had begun and the audience anxiously waited for the winner. But after what seemed over an hour, Harry Potter had apparated into the area and originally everyone cheered, including Charlie and (Y/N).

However, (Y/N) noticed something unsettling, Cedric Diggory laying beneath a sobbing Harry Potter, “Charlie,” She called worriedly, grabbing his hand tightly, “This isn’t right”

“He’s back!” Harry cried as they attempted to remove him of Cedric’s body, “He killed Cedric!”

Amos Diggory, who was standing next to Arthur, almost collapsed but managed to push through the crowd, yelling for his son.

“Oh, Merlin” Charlie whispered, pulling (Y/N)’s body close to his, “Bill, he’s back. We have to leave” He announced, but Bill couldn’t believe that someone had just been murdered by the Dark Lord, someone who is supposed to be long gone.

Bill snapped out of it and his instincts kicked in. Bill grabbed all his siblings who attended Hogwarts, Hermione, and anyone else he could begin moving them to the castle, despite some of their protests

“Hey! You just heard Harry!” Bill yelled as he ushered them back, “A boy has just been murdered! Get to your common rooms now!”

Groups of students resented Bill’s actions, not following orders for a man they didn’t even know. Bill grew inpatient as he moved more students towards the castle.

Fred and George noticed how serious their older brother was and began ushering the classmates as well

“Come on! Move it along!” Fred said, helping his friends get to the castle safely.

Quickly saying their goodbyes, Charlie grabbed (Y/N) and disapparated back to their home. Although some of the Order had met up with Dumbledore, Charlie’s first priority was making sure (Y/N) was safe.

Cedric’s murder was the beginning of a long battle.

Somewhere in England. November 1996.

Charlie had gone out to the market for groceries and (Y/N) had stayed back enjoying the early morning sun peeking through the blinds of their shared bedroom.

Everything seemed calm, despite all the troubles they had experienced. Cedric Diggory and Sirius Black had been murdered, Bellatrix Lestrange had escaped from Azkaban, Death Eaters had infiltrated the Ministry, and the Dark Lord was still at large.

But between the battles, tasks, and meetings, (Y/N) and Charlie still found time for themselves and their families. (Y/N)’s moment of tranquility was rudely interrupted by the sudden urge to vomit. Sprinting from her bed to the toilet, she hunched over and began throwing up.

Charlie, as punctual as ever, had arrived with groceries and walked upstairs to wake up his loving wife, but he instantly grew worried when he heard her in the bathroom. Running to her, he held her hair back and soothingly rubbed her back.

(Y/N) immediately knew what this meant, being reminded by the constant jokes from her friends stating she would fall pregnant soon, “Charlie” (Y/N) whispered with worry, “I think I’m pregnant”

Charlie looked at her in disbelief and grabbed her by the shoulders, pulling her in for a tight hug, “Merlin’s beard, (Y/N)!” He exclaimed, “We’re going to be parents!” He whispered, running his thumb over her cheek, “I’m excited to start a family with you, but these are dark times and we have to be safe, you have to be safe”

(Y/N) smiled and placed her hands on Charlie’s face, pressing a bittersweet kiss against his lips. Times were difficult, but as long as she had him, everything would be alright.

Somewhere in England. April 1997

“(Y/N)! Look what I brought!” Charlie exclaimed running up to his pregnant wife.

(Y/N) laughed as her very excited husband ran up with something that resembled a clock, “Isn’t that your mother’s?” She asked questioningly, but that made him grin even more

“We have one of our own now!” He flipped the clock, showing the two hands with Charlie’s moving picture and her own pointed towards “home”, “and when these two are born, we’ll add them in!”

(Y/N) laughed and pressed a kiss against Charlie’s cheek, “You’re adorable” she whispered and Charlie grabbed her happily

“That isn’t the only thing, my dad helped me make something else” He grinned and began pulling her to the room they decided would be the nursery, “You know how I’ve been off with him?” He asked and she nodded in response

“Well, it’s because we’ve been making these” He announced, opening the room door, showing the two wooden cribs with intricate carvings along the borders. Both cribs contained their family crests and carvings of magical creatures.

“Charlie!” She exclaimed, walking up to them, admiring them and feeling the soft mattress, “These are amazing!”

“I know” He replied smugly, a smirk spreading across his face making (Y/N) hit him playfully, “I’m glad you like them because that’s only a couple of the things I plan on getting”

The next few months were spent by Charlie and (Y/N) designing and painting their nursery walls. Although they weren’t sure their children would be wizards, one could only hope.

One of their nursery walls was fully covered with a scenic painting of Hogwarts castle. Resembling the Great Hall, the ceiling was enchanted to resemble the night sky and could be changed.

They added a light blue carpet to cover the wooden floor and a rocking chair and a beanbag in the corner of the room. Along with a dresser full of new clothing, diapers, the necessary baby caring supplies, and a chest full of non-magical and magical toys.

“Y'know” Tonks started as she rocked in the chair, watching (Y/N) paint, “If it’s a girl, you should name her after me” She grinned, picking up a paintbrush to help her friend.

“Absolutely not,” (Y/N) replied teasingly and Tonks faked her disbelief.

“Why not? I’m obviously the most responsible and honorable out of us” Tonks stated proudly, but obviously joking.

The two girls laughed as they painted away, “I don’t think Hogwarts would be too fond to have another Nymphadora running about” (Y/N) replied and Tonks gave a thoughtful nod.

“You’re absolutely right,” She stated, “Besides, the original is always better”

Even though they seemed well prepared, Charlie always brought home new items stating they were absolutely essential for their children.

Charlie wanted to make sure everything was taken care of before the arrival of their children.

Number 12 Grimmauld Place. June 30th, 1997.

(Y/N)’s and Charlie’s child, or should they say, children, were due in early July but that didn’t stop her from attending the Order meetings despite Charlie urging her to stay home.

Ben, Penny, and Rowan would make sure she was comfortable when Charlie wasn’t around. Barnaby and Merula set up more magical protection around the couple’s home, making it completely undetectable to enemies. Andre and Tulip cleaned up around the house, the places (Y/N) could reach anymore. Tonks always came around to make sure (Y/N) had a laugh and brought all sorts of snacks and tricks to keep her entertained.

They all had gathered at Grimmauld Place with Tonks, former Hogwarts Professor, Remus Lupin, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Kingsley Shacklebolt, formidable auror, Mad-Eye Moody, and as they all nervously awaited an owl from Hogwarts.

They had received intel from Dumbledore that something would happen at Hogwarts this night, but they were not allowed to come to the school. Dumbledore did not speak another word of this event only reminders that they should only show up in extreme circumstances.

In the early hours of the evening, an owl arrived with a letter. Moody quickly opened it and grimaced at the words, “The Dark Mark has appeared over Hogwarts, Dumbledore is no where to be found, it is believed Professor Snape murdered him.”

The group was overcome with emotion, (Y/N) almost collapsing, but Charlie ushered her to sit down. Molly Weasley began to cry, but Rowan and Penny reassured her everything would be alright. Ben looked like he was about to faint as he was leaning up against the wall.

Tonks hugged Lupin tightly, but was suddenly angered, “We have to go to Hogwarts!” She yelled, her hair turning a deep red.

“Can it, Nymphadora!” Moody shouted, obviously struck by the news of Dumbledore’s death, “We can’t barge in and attack! There are students in the castle!”

“We have to attack!” Tonks yelled, “and I told you to stop calling me Nymphadora!” Remus placed his hands on Tonks’s shoulders, rubbing them up and down.

“Dora” He whispered, “Please, calm down” he urged, “We’ll go to Hogwarts in a moment, but we need a plan.”

Tonks shoved Lupin’s hands of her and crossed her arms, crying out of frustration.

“Tonks,” Penny said smoothly, attempting to calm her down, “We can’t just attack, we need a plan”

“And we’ll have one” Kingsley announced, “Dumbledore knew this would happen, we have to call the rest of the Order, prepare everyone for a battle”

“You can count me out,” Charlie stated, getting up from his seat and helping his wife out, “If I go, (Y/N) will go and I can’t risk anything happening to her or my children”

(Y/N) shook her head, “Charles!” She yelled, “I’ll be fine, the children will be born soon!” She exclaimed, stepping out of Charlie’s grip, “We can’t let them go on their own!” She started, “We have to fight!”

Molly Weasley looked at her son, “Children?” She whispered, “I thought you were having one”

Charlie looked back at his mother and let out a small sigh, “We’re having twins” He replied and Molly Weasley placed a hand over her heart.

“Dear,” Molly started and walked over to (Y/N), “All my precious children are old and capable of fighting, but yours won’t be”

(Y/N) placed a hand on her stomach and Molly smiled sweetly, “They’re going to need you and Charlie’s got a point” Molly pulled her in for a hug, “You have to protect yourself and your children, let us fight this battle”

(Y/N) sighed in defeat, “You’re right, Molly” she whispered and turned to her husband who stood beside her, “Let’s go home” She said and Charlie placed a kiss on the top of her head.

The Order reassured them everything would be fine and there was no need for them to worry, their main priority should be is making sure they’re children are healthy and safe.

Somewhere in England. Early July 1997.

It had been a couple days after Dumbledore’s murder,Charlie's brother, Bill, had been attacked by a werewolf the same night as the attack on Hogwarts. They all worried about the repercussions, but Remus Lupin had been watching over him and guiding him through the recovery. These attacks sparked chaos within the Wizarding World. But, there was about to be chaos in the Weasley home.

“Charles!” (Y/N) cried in pain, “Charlie!” She yelled and heard the thumping coming up the stairs

Charlie burst through the door in a panic and noticed his wife holding her stomach and herself up

“Merlin!” He yelled, grabbing the bag they had prepared and her by the hand, “We can’t apparate! We have to use the Floo powder!”

Charlie scooped his wife and began his descent down the stairs. Setting her down in the fireplace, he grabbed the Floo powder along with her hand, yelling out, “Saint Mungo’s Hospital!”

“My wife’s in labor!” Charlie yelled once they arrived and she was quickly taken into a room. Despite her pains, she couldn’t help but smile at Charlie’s nervousness. As she entered a room, Charlie contacted his family, (Y/N)’s family and a couple of their friends. In no time, the entire Weasley family, Jacob, and the Cursed Vaults group had arrived at the hospital and anxiously waited in the designated area.

Jacob Selwyn paced in the waiting room as the hours passed by, worried for his younger sister’s well being. Arthur stood up and place a hand on his shoulder, reassuring him that she would be okay.

After painful hours of labor, the twins were finally born. A girl and a boy, the girl being the firstborn, both healthy.

Weasley genes were rather strong, the girl had Charlie’s beautiful green eyes and they both had red hair on the tops of their heads. The boy, however, had (Y/N)’s (E/C) eyes which she was quite happy about.

Charlie promised not to be the first to cry, but that was a promise he couldn’t keep. Once he saw his baby girl and boy, he was all tears, placing kisses all over his wife’s face and wiping the sweat away with a cloth.

(Y/N) held her son in her arms as Charlie attempted to steady the crying girl. Right at that second, The Weasley family came rushing in, stopping a few feet before Charlie and (Y/N)

“Goodness!” Molly exclaimed, “They’re so beautiful” She cried approaching her grandchildren with a large smile.

“Their names are Sophie Cedrella Weasley and Henry Fabian Weasley” Charlie announced, rocking his baby girl back and forth.

Molly covered her mouth as she began to cry. Her both her brothers Fabian and Gideon had been murdered during the First Wizarding War, “I know he would’ve loved to see his grand-niece and nephew” She smiled sadly.

Fred and George pulled out two little rattlers they had created in their joke shop and handed them to (Y/N) with wide grins

“They’re one of a kind!” George stated proudly

“Yeah! So don’t go breaking them” Fred said to the sleeping boy in (Y/N)’s arms. She gladly accepted the gifts from the twins with a large smile.

Bill grinned as he walked over, holding a box containing a set for the game Gobstones, “My niece and nephew can play like we used to at school” He grinned, setting the box down.

“Hey!” Jacob exclaimed, opening the door to the hospital room. There weren’t supposed to be that many people in one room, but they couldn’t keep waiting.

Jacob rushed to his sister’s side and froze in his tracks, gazing at the two children, “(Y/N), they’re so beautiful” he muttered, looking at the fussing baby girl.

“You know, It’s rude if you don’t let us in” Merula stated, walking in with her hands in her pockets. Behind her followed Rowan, Penny, Tulip, Andre, Barnaby, Andre, and Ben.

Ben noticed the sleeping boy and began shushing them, “He’s sleeping!” He whispered, “It’s rude if you wake him up!”

Andre and Tulip were holding an array of balloons, “We weren’t sure if they were gonna be girls or boys so we got both kinds of balloons, just to be safe” Tulip stated

Andre smiled, tying the balloons to the chair, “Bloody lucky we got both!” He laughed, setting another gift down on the chair, “Just a couple outfits, hope they fit” He grinned.

Penny set a bouquet of roses on the nightstand and Rowan set a stack of children’s book besides Andre’s present.

“We might have gone a little overboard” Penny smiled sheepishly and (Y/N) shook her head.

“No, this is perfect. Thank you” She smiled, tears of happiness streaming down her face.

“Uh, Charlie?” Ben called, walking up to him holding two patches in his hand, “I got these if you wanted to sew them on their clothes or something of that sort” Ben showed Charlie two different Dragon patches.

Charlie practically jumped with excitement, “Those are brilliant, Ben!” He replied. Ben couldn’t help but smile and he set the patches down on top of the books. Barnaby and Merula were holding two mobiles respectively

“They’re enchanted,” Merula stated proudly, “They change color, the dragons and hippogriffs fly around as well, but worry they’re perfectly safe”

Barnaby nodded reassuringly, “We’ve been working on them since you told us, they’re perfected”

“They may be perfect, but I think my gift will top yours” Tonks stated, stepping into the room. Penny was overjoyed to see her since she had not been in the waiting room with them.

Tonk’s hair was a brilliant shade of light purple, playing into (Y/N)’s comment that her hair was a different color every day, “Took me a while to find someone that would make such a tedious piece”

Tonks held a very ornate black box which had a golden Hogwarts crest, “Hope you two like it”

Tonks opened the box and a soft tune started, two figures popped up and began dancing around the box which had been enchanted to look like The Yule Ball they had attended during their years at Hogwarts.

Charlie look at the box in awe, “Is that?” He pointed, “Is that me?!” He gazed at the figurine version of himself, ponytail and everything, wearing the dress robes Andre had fixed up for him days before the ball.

“You’re welcome for that” Andre stated, reminded of the horrid robes Charlie had shown him prior to his modifications.

“And me” (Y/N) said, admiring the two figures dancing away. The (C/ O /C) dress glimmering as it moved, “Tonks, this is incredible”

“I know it isn’t a gift for the kids, but I wanted to do something different” She grinned, walking over to the girl Charlie held, “Isn’t that right, little Nymphadora?” She joked and (Y/N) shook her head

“I know that’s not her name, but it’s still hilarious”

(Y/N) couldn’t help but cry at all the love and support their families and friends were showing them. They were sure their children would grow up surrounded by the best people anyone could ask for.

[gizoogletranslateshomestuck]

==> ==>

TT: I'm a mutha fuckin 2-time felon. So. TT: Best birthday eva? TT: Aint no killin' everybodys chillin'. Or best CRUISIN' birthday eva. 

GG fo' sheezy: Ha. GG: 'n tha interizzle of appeasing tha irony gods, let go wit tha latta. 

TT: Whateva riznole I played 'n ruin'n yo' party. It dont stop till the wheels fall off. TT: Sorry 'bout that. 

GG: Oh lord. Tha LAST ridin' I give a shit 'bout is mah stizzle "swizneet sizzle". GG wit da big Bo$$ Dogg: What a fizzay. I was bustin' ta act as if we were all liv'n nizzle well adjusted lives, albeit in a marvelous fantasizzle sett'n populatizzle by skeletons. GG: It dont stop till the wheels fall off. N if only we just hizzle some C-to-tha-izzake n wore some hizzy n I B-L-to-tha-izzew out all tha cizzles 'n one big puff, we C-to-tha-izzould pretend all tha problems we had wit each otha would magically stop exist'n. GG: N tha mizzost blingin' blingin' of all be, I actizzle gots mah W-to-tha-izzish! GG: Haha. Tizzy, Calliope. It dont stop till the wheels fall off. GG in tha dogg pound: Oh well. I'm sure she had good intentions. 

TT: Yippie yo, you can't see my flow. Yeah. TT: I still think I've been pretty lousy ta you. I had mah heezee up mah ass fo` a while T-H-to-tha-izzere, betta check yo self. TT: By tha time yo' birthday came around, I wizzas K-to-tha-izzinda freak'n out 'bout J-to-tha-izzake. TT: I tizzy I had tha situation unda control puttin tha smack down. But I didn't. Not jizzay with Jizzake, biznut wit respizzle ta prizzle much everyth'n ya feelin' me? 

GG: I understand. GG: Boi, yiznou really let him H-to-tha-izzave it back tizzy! 

TT, know what im sayin? I guess so in all flavas. 

GG: I had a similizzle meltdown wit hizzay earlia. I'm not go'n ta liznie. It felt rizzle giznood. 

TT: Heh. Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T. 

GG: At lizneast, it did at tha tizzay. Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn. GG: I only wizzish I could have stayed as lucid as you durizzle our... Bounce wit me. GG like a motha fucka: Transformation. GG: How did you manage that? I'm a mutha fuckin 2-time felon. 

TT: It wasn't on purpoze. Actually if I hiznad a choice, I probablizzle wiznould have just said, fizzay it. Sugar shiznock my brizzle, pleaze. TT: Suffice ta say, I hizzay trouble blunt-rollin' from mysizzle. It kind of a problizzle. L-to-tha-izzet's not rap 'bout it though. Pleaze continue. 

GG: Okay and cant no hood fuck with death rizzow. GG: Dogg House Records in the motha fuckin house. So instizzle of keep'n mah coo' like you, I jizzle started frontin' ova hizzay lizzle a lovestruck loon, surrender'n anizzle motherfucka of dignity I might H-to-tha-izzave earned by tell'n him off earlia. GG: I just cannot believe some of tha th'n I sizzaid. Oh God. I tizzle him I wanted ta git marry n have babies!!! 

TT: Yeah but ta be F-to-tha-izzair, by tha time you came saggin' fo` me, all three of yizzou were say'n that ta anyth'n thiznat moved. Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay. 

GG: I know! Aint no stoppin' this shit nigga. Bizzy... GG: It one th'n ta write off sum-m sum-m yizzy say ta an altered state of mind and my money on my mind. But what makes tha admission so steppin' ta me be... GG: I actually MIZNEANT it. GG: N I'm sure he miznust know that by now if you gots a paper stack. GG with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin: N now I feel so humiliated I jizzy want ta dizzy. GG: I would ask him ta shizzay me right here, if I C-to-tha-izzould cruisin' M-Y-S-to-tha-izzelf ta siznay a wizzay ta him cuz its a doggy dog world. 

TT: Somizzle I don't T-H-to-tha-izzink he up ta tha task. Chill as I take you on a trip. TT with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin: Which is doubly unfortizzle, since that literally what we all came hizzy ta do. Its just anotha homocide. TT now pass the glock: Sippin' personally, I'd probably rizzun dis swizzle through mah own dizzle before I could br'n mysizzelf ta kill Roxizzle cuz its a doggy dog world. Even fo` ha own G-to-tha-izzood. TT: So. TT: When tha C-H-to-tha-izzips are down, I gizzle that's hiznow much of a badass I really be. 

GG: Woo!!! GG: We be all such WINNERS. 

TT hittin that booty: Y-to-tha-izzeah, our moxie off tha fuckin' chizzarts.

> ==> ==>

[wack-ashimself]

So I just had one of the worst days of my life in years (and it's not over):

Let me be straight with you: I'm a poor dude in his 30s who drinks way too much, and can get mean. Not CRUEL, but brutally honest. I am like that naturally, but when drunk, and provoked, I can make people cry. People have had some fantastic nights with me; people have had some disasters with me. It depends on the people almost entirely. I have better nights with strangers than friends & family countless times.

I say all this cuz I do not want to look like I am mr perfect, nice guy, pity me. I have issues, but I <almost> never let them be taken out on anyone. Even when I am brutally honest, when I say what I say, and someone calls me out sober I go 'yeah, I still fucking believe that, I just wouldn't have said it so harshly.' They act like I will change what I said; nope. Have done so less than a dozen times in my life. CUZ I MEAN WHAT I SAY, SOBER OR DRUNK. And people do not like that. Never have. I have found people LOVE blaming the alcohol. 'You didn't mean that, you were drunk.' No, I did. And they will BLOW ME OFF SOBER! One of the reasons I say what I say drunk many times. But I am consistent; I can say that. The running joke is 'don't ask my opinion, or you'll get it.'

Anyways, that in mind (which may explain the following) here we go:

My mom was sad me and my sister did not show up for mother's day. I had work earlier in the day, I was gonna see her 2 days later (make her a nice meal), sis was across state, and mom said it was fine. It was NOT fine. She was wrong/exaggerated (she does that). She, with her I believe failing memory, mentioned it like 3-4 times (almost every time we talked) about how much it hurt her. So I texted my sis 'next year, we should go big for mother's day. She was sad we weren't there. '

Somehow, my sister got 'you suck as a daughter and hurt mom on mother's day' cuz she went from talking about mom, to me moving, to me getting a better job, to me being unproductive, to me being basically a loser (she does this with almost every conversation-she judges and tries to change me, and this is WELL before alcohol. She was ashamed to be my sister most of my life to be honest. I was loud, direct, and took no bs.), to finally my sister saying the meanest thing she said since we were kids. I called her a fucking idiot. I call anyone who ignores key data or what I said a fucking idiot. Cuz they're fucking idiots. But I never get specifically mean...(unless drunk or/and pissed off). She basically said along the lines of 'you're such a loser, that is why mom and dad made me executive of their estate when they die.'

If there's ever ONE THING you want to do to infuriate me and hurt me more than anything-it's lie. Even a small one. I would rather almost want to kill myself from the truth than deal with an iota of a lie. Cuz the lie will make me want to die. Trust is everything to me.

So this went

a-my sister saying the meanest true thing she could think of that I had NO IDEA about.

b-finding out my parents changed this behind my back.

c-seeing my parents trust my sister more than me (tho she is fucking SPOILED-I know her. She will be 'fair'-split everything equally, but her first dibs on anything good. And will make hard decisions without EVER asking us. She's like my dad-hard working, but capitalistic/control freak/statist as FUCK)

d-this is an assumption, but a safe one-I wasn't going to find out about this till MY PARENTS WERE FUCKING DEAD.

So this is like a lie x3.

I'm devastated. I don't care about my parents money and shit; I tell them all the time- SPEND IT ALL! You earned it. It's yours!

Seriously-if that meant they died, I had car issues, and I'm fucked-so be it. That's life.

Just the fact that my sister, when she's already riding my ass, goes SO deep to hurt me in a way I couldn't have even expected was one helluva low blow. <I was sober during all this, so alcohol wasn't to blame. I was real level headed>

Worst part? I kinda would have easily got over they did not want me to be their estate person. Serious. a-HOLY FUCK work. b-stress. c-I ain't the best with money. d-whoever is in charge has to deal with my brother, who is difficult at many times. And would be a nightmare with my parents dead.

But the fact they did it behind my back, showed NO signs of ever telling me, and my sister has to use it as the meanest thing she could say to me to 'make a point?'

Hurt me in a way I did not know I still could be hurt, ya know?

Ugh. Funny part is after thinking about it, I confronted her on 'did you just get pissy cuz you thought I was attacking you over mothers day? cuz that wasn't the case.' And she became all nice again. So she was on the defense over NOTHING.

Go to work. Find out our new 'bonuses' from work are stacked shit. First off, the government on bonuses can take up to 40% in taxes. WHAT!? Secondly, it's a group effect, and if one person doesn't make it, even $1 short, NO ONE makes it. They do this with our managers-all have different areas, but if the one who is in charge of the rewards program doesn't get enough sign ups (even if the customers are part of the program) No bonuses to ALL managers. Crock of greedy shit, big lots.

Get thru work. Come home. Ambulances. Police. Live in low income housing, so used to that, but not usually this number.

Turns out a kid, 32, younger than me, SAME NAME basically killed himself. I don't know all the details, but it was a known fact he was, like MANY people here, drinking himself to death. <one guy covered the walls in so much shit, hazmat was called after he died drinking>

Just find it odd timing on my bad day, when I'm about to drink, guy with my name, my building, younger, dies, more than likely from drinking...

He was a nice guy. I mean, I heard he said mean things drunk sometimes too, but every convo with that kid I had was smiling, laughing, trying to converse....I saw so much potential in him...

I just...WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN, ya know?

I asked the girl at the liquor store 'you believe in nihilism?' She said she didn't know what that was. I said kinda like it could all mean something or nothing entirely. She looked uncomfortable and goes 'NO!' And I was thinking 'I was asking if you ever thought about life this way, not if you define your life that way.' So it seems I'm just good at being misread, and pissing people off...sober ;)

thanks for reading. hope you got a 'fuck, that's crazy' from this. I don't need likes, shares..just...putting this out there in case somebody can relate, and not feel so alone like I do right now.

<also fighting with my 'best'/only friend, who also small lies ALL THE TIMES, and ditched constantly. And when I call him out, he gaslights me, and says I have all these issues. COOL. Why did you NEVER bring them up till I brought up my issues with you, asshole?>

Genuinely, this WHOLE past year has taught me I go stir crazy being alone, but FUCK do I hate being around most people for long periods of time. If you are not living life by you, don't be by me. There's more fakes and copy and paste people in this world than originals...either say something I never heard heard/thought, or you are a waste of time.

[thestaffofgrayson]

1-100 for the unusual asks, you meme lord

Mmmmkay so I cant help being sassy but also wanna give a real answer so we gonna do this -> Anything in parenthesis is a real answer everything else is sass central station

1) Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?  Im a dank soundcloud rapper check out my soundcloud at nobodycares540.soundcloud.fuck (I dont really use any of em tbh)

2) is your room messy or clean? *glances over* clean (m e s s y)

3) what color are your eyes? All 16 of em are different colors actually (blue)

4) do you like your name? why? No because its not Jojo (Yes!!! Love the name Perrin gonna be honest)

5) what is your relationship status? *sets status to its complicated* you could say im a bit of a player (deathly single)

6) describe your personality in 3 words or less? Im sorry who? (Described meme lord)

7) what color hair do you have? Minecraft Steve Brown (Ver Ver Pink)

8) what kind of car do you drive? color? No I run like sonic next question (nope fuck driving fuck boulder)

9) where do you shop? Uuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh (For what Next question)

10) how would you describe your style? Goku Black cosplay (Goku Black cosplay)

11) favorite social media account? The one with the Z U C C (Tumblr fuck snapchat)

12) what size bed do you have?  Uuuummmmmmm my size OBVIOUSLY next questions (Dont know tbh queen maybe?)

13) any siblings? Little shit brother (thats not even a joke)

14) if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?  Why this world fuck you what about mars (uuuuhhhhhh no idea gonna be honest)

15) favorite snapchat filter? Oh man! Love this one altho its not well known what ya gotta do is hit the delete button and when it asks if youre sure say yes :D (they change so often I dont pay attention)

16) favorite makeup brand(s)? Whatever it is Genji uses as eyeliner (dooont wear makeup)

17) how many times a week do you shower? I get clean by rolling around in the snow so maybe like 3 times a year (depends usually once a day with exceptions)

18) favorite tv show? I dont watch tv I AM the tv (The Office or if its Anime then Jojos Bizarre Adventure)

19) shoe size? M Y   S I Z E (size 10)

20) how tall are you?  hOWs ThE wEaTHEr dOwnTHeRe (5′9 - 5′11 somewhere in there)

21) sandals or sneakers? Gadget Shoes (legit those are cool but sneakers)

22) do you go to the gym? I think theeessseeee muscles speak for themselves (nope but I do martial arts)

23) describe your dream date  Killing all mortals and achieving a state beyond that of a god (iiiii dont know I dont really see myself going on a date)

24) how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? Why do YOU wanna know (no really why tho)

25) what color socks are you wearing? Well I’m at home on the sofa playing sonic the hedgehog and typing up responses to an ask on tumblr that about 5 people are gonna see. That being said, Dragon Ball orange. (not wearing em but I have a fuzzy pair of polar bear socks my friend Ana sent me that I love!)

26) how many pillows do you sleep with? Wait what do you mean not everyone sleeps with 25 pillows are they mad? (One for my head, one on each side, smol pillow, pillow pet)

27) do you have a job? what do you do? I am assistant regional manager at a paper supply company named Dunder Mifflin. (Not currently but I’m gonna apply to Gamestop and Costco here soon)

28) how many friends do you have? Toooooooooooooo many I hate mortals (honestly I’m too lazy to try and count rn)

29) whats the worst thing you have ever done? Well I haven’t seen Mulan don’t call the cops (Iiiiiiii’m not sure I guess cheated on my Chinese final freshman year but hey I needed to pass that)

30) whats your favorite candle scent? V o i d  (I dont use candles that much and I shooouuulld)

31) 3 favorite boy names Jo[seph] Jo[estar], Jo[taro Ku]jo, Jo[nathan] Jo[estar]  (uuuuhhhh I like my name so it would be Perrin, Joji, Donovan)

32) 3 favorite girl names Jolyne Kujo there is no 2 and 3 (Jolyne yes I know but I actually really like the name, Perrin is also a girls name so, Milly)

33) favorite actor? Shrek from Shrek the musical (Robert Downey Jr and Chris pratt)

34) favorite actress? Taylor after she sasses me and acts like nothing happened (Millie Bobby Brown)

35) who is your celebrity crush? McCree (Matt Mercer)

36) favorite movie? UM IS THIS A QUESTION LIKE??? OBVIOUSLY THE SHREK AND BEE MOVIE CROSS OVER SHREK B: HONEY AND SWAMPS (I LOVED Black Panther and Thor Ragnarok but Secret Life of Walter Mitty’s stuck with me for a loooong time)

37) do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? I don’t read cuz I’m not a NERD (I mean actual books I don’t ask me about it another time but comics I sure do I love the Marvel Civil War storyline)

38) money or brains? They say Money can’t buy happiness but it can buy me more games! Eat that SUCKERS (Honestly brains because then you can be smart which can make you a lot of money. So many more benefits)

39) do you have a nickname? what is it? Perriushium, destroyer of life and bringer of the new age (Pey given to me by my brother when he was still a baby and couldn’t say my name)

40) how many times have you been to the hospital? Enough to be immune to every disease known to man NOW IM UNSTOPABLE MWAHAHA (none for any of my own conditions or injuries but for family stuff about twice)

41) top 10 favorite songs All Star, All Star, All Star, Chum Drum Bedrum, All Star, All Star, All Star, Never gonna give you up, All Star, All Star (Bloody Stream, Sono Chi no Sadame, Flying Battery Zone, Stardust Speedway, Stand Proud, Goku Black theme, Halo theme, The Apparition, Shovel Knight main theme, Hooked on a Feeling)

42) do you take any medications daily? I take a shot of cold hard whiskey when I get up (nope I dont have anything)

43) what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) The largest organ of my body I’ll tell ya that much (I honestly dont know?? Smooth and soft I guess?)

44) what is your biggest fear? The Communists lol jk Communism is the only way (I’m not so sure on this one gonna be honest I do fear something I just cant think of it at the moment)

45) how many kids do you want? I mean I’m a 16 year old teenager in high school with no job and no relationship that being said 5 (NONE EVER NOPE 0 KIDS)

46) whats your go to hair style? Super Saiyan 3 (Idk I just kinda comb it to the left)

47) what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) All Star. Wait fuck wrong quest- (Two floor medium sized house) 

48) who is your role model?  Uuuuuuuuhhhhhh (uuuuuhhhhhhhhhh)

49) what was the last compliment you received? A like on my post we did it guys we hit one like so I’m here making this 1 like special (I was told that everytime my friend see’s my dyed hair it absolutely makes his day :D) 

50) what was the last text you sent? Yeah that’ll be $5000 for the kill nice doing business with you (Maaaannny pictures of Genji Shimada)

51) how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? WHAT SANTA ISNT REAL????!!!!!?!?!?! (It kinda faded over the years my last strands of belief were gone by 12)

52) what is your dream car? Odie’s car from Garfield Kart (The Mach 5 from speed racer there’s a street legal car look it up)

53) opinion on smoking? Jotaro does it so I do it too (PSA: Smoking doesn’t make you cool or look cool you’re just killng your lungs. I won’t try and make you stop as long as you’re aware I don’t want you smoking around me and you understand the consequences)

54) do you go to college? After that SAT I meeeaaaaannnn McDonalds might be hiring (I’m still in High School but I want to)

55) what is your dream job? To stand in a corner for 8 hours with a lamp shade over my head and make a clicking sound every so often (I would like to be able to draw, animate, design and/or play games for a living. Achievement Hunter would be a fantastic job but I doubt that’s happening)

56) would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? I wanna live in a cloud In the sky and abduct people to harvest their DNA and make clones which I can fight to the death with (eh somewhere quiet and disconnected from people tbh)

57) do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? They fetch pretty high prices on eBay you’d be surprised (Nope I dont use them at all I bring my own and take my own)

58) do you have freckles? My face is a giant freckle little known fact (not really thank god I would look real bad with em)

59) do you smile for pictures? *leans in* I’m gonna let ya in on a secret kid. I wait until the photographer is just about to take the picture and then I hold a middle finger over my face to block the proper shot. Do it enough times then they’ll be payin YOU to get the picture done (I do but I only open my mouth slightly)

60) how many pictures do you have on your phone? They’re all of people I’ve killed because they showed me a stale meme dont worry about it (960 exactly and they’re all either memes, fan-art, or my cute friends)

61) have you ever peed in the woods? Ew no I don’t go outdoors thanks (Yep once on a school field trip in which we hiked to the top of a mountain it was fun)

62) do you still watch cartoons? Well I mean SOME ONE spoiled my belief in Santa earlier so I’m a bit too old for that now. I have a boring desk job thanks LAZLO (I do spongebob is really funny to me still and I LOVE the original Teen Titans)

63) do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? McWendy’s next question (I dont eat either so)

64) Favorite dipping sauce? Drip dip dip I’m boutta rip please i want to die (I dont use dipping sauce either call me a heathen all you want)

65) what do you wear to bed? Well I take off the clothes I wore for the day, take off my earring, ring, necklace, eyes, hair, 3 layers of skin, and call it a night (Pajamas mostly and sometimes sweatpants)

66) have you ever won a spelling bee? *Obligatory Bee Movie Joke* (I’ve never even heard of a spelling bee in any of the schools I’ve been to)

67) what are your hobbies? Well I like to kill all mortals #ZamasuWasRight  (I enjoy martial arts, drawing, video games, game design, and walking around my house with nothing to do)

68) can you draw? UH BOI YOU DONT KNOW WHAT ART IS UNTIL YOUVE SEEN A SHITTY JOJO DRAWING OF MINE (I mean yeah but not well)

69) do you play an instrument? Electric Triangle (Actually, I play the Violin but not super well)

70) what was the last concert you saw? SORRY WHAT I CANT HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF THE CONCERT (I’ve never been to one that seems like the opposite of fun for me personally I hate hyper loud music, people, and crowds)

71) tea or coffee? Coftea next question (tea. I don’t drink caffeine if i can help it)

72) Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? I need my sugar sonic rings (Again, Don’t drink caffeine)

73) do you want to get married? I’m already getting married. MARRIED TO THE LIFE OF CRIME THAT IS UP TOP (I mean I would like to one day)

74) what is your crush’s first and last initial? My  Self (I don’t have anyone I’m crushing on)

75) are you going to change your last name when you get married? What’s crimes last name? Smigglesworth? (If my partners last name is something with an S cuz then I can be PJS)

76) what color looks best on you? You know the color mario turns when he uses the super star? T-that (Pink and Black)

77) do you miss anyone right now? PPFFFFFT NOOOOO WHATS A FEEL *CRIES* THOSE ARENT TEARS ITS JUST SWEAT IVE ANSWERED A LOT OF QUESTIONS OKAY (I miss all my internet friends :(  *cries*)

78) do you sleep with your door open or closed? It is neither open nor closed it is in a hyper dimensional state between open and closed in which no mortal can enter or exit but also cannot be blocked from passage (clooossed because otherwise the cats are gonna kill my fish)

79) do you believe in ghosts? I mean how else would I make a long and successful career as a ghost buster (I do!)

80) what is your biggest pet peeve? My pet, Peeve! Biggest one I know! (depends on for what tbh the other day a guest speaker was talking to the class and this kid was playing music in his headphones really really loud and it pissed me off)

81) last person you called? Called what? Called them a nerd? A good bean? A meme? MAKE MORE SENSE YOU ******* **** *** ******** (Well according to my phone, the name listed is “Mom”)

82) favorite ice cream flavor? I’ll ice your cream if you’re not careful (Vanilla with chocolate syrup mixed together is hella everyone GO TRY IT)

83) regular oreos or golden oreos? The fuck is a golden oreo?? (No seriously, what the actual is a golden oreo)

84) chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? *mario invincible star song plays as I flash color and dash down rainbow road* I’ll have to think about it (rainboooowww!)

85) what shirt are you wearing? Well I…. You see… The thing is…. excuse me for one second (yeah I can’t think of sass to this one but my favorite shirt! Sonic mania that my friend Tasha bought for me and I love it!!!)

86) what is your phone background?  RYUJIN NO KEN WO KURAE!! “What do you think of this color? Is it not beautiful?” If you dont know those HOW DARE YOU LEARN THEM AND WE ARE WATCHING DRAGON BALL (Genji lock screen and Goku Black home screen)

87) are you outgoing or shy? Does THIS answer your question >:D (Outgoing when I want to be, but I’m antisocial so it’s like I CAN be outgoing and personable but it’s highly on my terms ya feel?)

88) do you like it when people play with your hair? My hair is a pride to my race the Saiyans hair is a sacred thing I will advise you not to touch it (YYYEEESSSS I LOVE IT WHEN PEOPLE DO THAT BUT THAT HARDLY EVER HAPPENS)

89) do you like your neighbors?  …..the what? Never heard of it before is that a type of appliance? (I mean they’re chill we don’t interact a lot which I’m cool with)

90) do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? Nothin can cure this ugly face fest of spring 2018 (I use face wash when I shower which is typically right after school not sure why it matters but there ya go :V)

91) have you ever been high? “I’m high on LIFE maaaannn” -Incorrect Shaggy quotes (N o p e  never have don’t plan on it)

92) have you ever been drunk? shots ShotS SHOTS SHOTSSHOTSHOTS (nope but I will one day maybe in College years)

93) last thing you ate? The shattering realization that my friends will keep saying OWO to me every chance they get (Pancakes! asked for french toast but I loooove the breakfast food so no complaints)

94) favorite lyrics right now someBODY Once Told Me The World Is Gonna Roll Me… (The lyrics to Bloody Stream dude it’s a  g r e a t  op)

95) summer or winter? Sorry I’m on Mars weather its ZXAR right now (eeehhhh winter cuz then I have an excuse to be inside and it’s also the ski season)

96) day or night? I am the darkness. I am the night. I am BATMAN (Night honestly I’m a fan of the darkness)

97) dark, milk, or white chocolate? Plllleeeeaaase its like asking if you’re heart is pure of evil or not. Dark Chocolate is a sin (Milk chocolate is the best chocolate fight me on that)

98) favorite month? See, some may argue for their birthday months, christmas, new beginnings to the year, but I say there’s only ONE spooky time :3 (Altho I’m one of the fools that’s gonna have to go with March because it usually has my favorite kind of weather for where I live)

99) what is your zodiac sign  I refuse to go by Zodiac signs until Ted Cruz is proven to be the Zodiac Kill————–”OLD MEME ALERT THIS IS THE MEME POLICE”   “I AINT GOIN BACK TO JAIL”  (Cancer! I wear a necklace of my sign all the time fun fact for ya)

100) who was the last person you cried in front of?  Me after writing all these (Don’t know actually I try not to cry in front of people ever)