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aro-is-gay-af · 3 years

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The Midnight of Despair | Volturi Kings x fem!reader | Part 2

Part 1 | Part 3

I advise you to read it first, as this post is the continuation.

Yeah, there will be Part 3 for sure. As usual, sorry for gramatical confusion and/or any mistakes.

Love you all, thank you for 100 (!) notes under Part 1.

Warnings: Rape, Depression, PTSD, Swear words, Forced Pregnancy

Word count: 6768

Summary: [Y/N] and Bella are childhood friends. They were always there for each other. [Y/N] had tough times and struggles with everyday life. Bella faces depression after Edward had left her. [Y/N] tries to get her going and alive. One day [Y/N] is raped and gets pregnant with the rapist. Not long after that it turns out that Edward got himself into the mess with Volturi. [Y/N], even traumatized and in pieces, will not let Bella go without her supervision to Italy. What is going to happen when [Y/N] will stay at Volterra? Is she really predestined to be Kings’ mate? Is she going to have her baby or abort the pregnancy? Will the trauma go away or is she going to struggle for a long time?

ENJOY!

You tried not to break your eye contact with Aro, as it made you unusually calm and on place. As soon as you walked through the door to the throne room you felt almost like at home. You knew it would take some time to get used to the new place, especially a place like this, though, you didn't find it repulsive or frightening.

You sat down in the chair that Aro had pulled out for you. It was a little gesture but it made you a little less weirded out. Now, that you were alone with three kings, you were not as relaxed as you might have thought you’ll be, for your legs were trembling with exertion.

It wasn’t a surprise, though. You’ve barely eaten, been up on your feet since you got off the plane and through all day long, you were strongly convinced it was your last day on Earth. On top of this, you’ve just allowed Aro to touch your hand and then kiss it. You were certain that if it was for any other person, you wouldn’t be so willing to do so.

Aro took a seat opposite to you, whereas Marcus and Caius sat, probably, on their usual seats, not that far from you both. You were tired, but confident that some things needed to be established as soon as possible. You understood this perfectly. Also, even though Alice told you about basic things, you still were oblivious to most information.

“You have impressed me with your declaration” it was Caius who started the conversation. You looked directly at him.

“I’m not stupid, nor suicidal” you said, trying to remain as calm as possible. “At least, not anymore” you admitted, your upset tone impossible to miss. Caius tilted his head, eyeing you carefully.

“While on the plane, Alice told me briefly about basics,” you said. Seeing their stares, you rolled your eyes. “Yes, she also explained to me the laws. I knew this trip would’ve only two possible endings for me.”

Aro had known about this prior, but Marcus and Caius looked taken aback, to say at least.

“You knew you’d probably die and still came here?” it was Marcus who asked. It was a weird experience, even if you’d known him only for a few moments, to see such an authentic interest in his behaviour.

You nodded and smiled.

“Sure I did. Bella’s stupid ass didn’t give me another choice” you chuckled. Caius smiled again with that creepy smile, which he also had on his face while in the throne room.

“Stop that, brother” Aro scolded him lightly. “We don’t want to frighten [Y/N].”

Caius only rolled his eyes.

“You are familiar with the fact that I am as old as you, brother?” he asked Aro mockingly, sprawling comfortably in his chair. “There’s no need to scold me like I’m a child.”

Aro frowned.

“Yes, brother, I am certainly familiar with this. But nonetheless, you should be more gentle when it comes to [Y/N].”

Even though you’d been tired, somehow kings’ presence had risen your spirits. Also, it was quite funny to see them mock themselves like this.

“Can I say something?” you asked, visibly amused by their behaviour. You've relaxed a little and only then you felt how tired you really were.

“Of course, cara” said Marcus, who didn’t exactly talk much until now. All of them were looking at you, curious about what you wanted to say.

You smiled shyly, not being accustomed to receive so much attention at once.

“I don’t know if it’s normal but I’m not exactly…afraid of you? I guess I’m mostly curious. I wasn’t… concerned while we were heading here. Like, at all” you admitted, trying your best to find words, which would suit your emotions.

Three of them were listening very carefully, even Aro, who had already known your thoughts.

“Alice wasn’t trying to scare me, but I felt that she was extremely cautious when it came to your coven. Bella also was exaggerating with drama and I…” you immediately felt sick and couldn’t end the sentence. You were happy to maybe die? You were happy to have something to think about, other than rape? To think about something different than this unwanted child?

It was as they felt the change in your mood. You saw Aro wanted to touch you but restrained himself from doing so. Marcus’s expression was calm but you actually thought, he was being beyond emotional about this. And Caius…he looked genuinely concerned.

You smiled sadly, as none of them said anything.

“I’m not exactly aware of how this mating bond thing works, but that’s probably the reason” you said quietly, with insecurity so overwhelming that you couldn’t look at the kings anymore. Instead, you embraced your knees with yours arms and glanced at your feet resting on the edge of your chair.

You tried hard not to cry. You weren’t weak, you weren’t unstable. You were harmed in the most brutal way and you knew, it would take you a while to get out of this state of mind. Nevertheless, you didn’t want them to consider you weak or unworthy of their attention. Right now, they were the only ones you had in this world.

Your throat tightened and your lips trembled from the sob you denied yourself to make. One of them handed you a handkerchief, while making an effort not to touch you. You glanced up, as it turned out, at Marcus, who was holding the handkerchief in front of you.

“It is perfectly alright to cry, cara. You have no idea how many times I wished to shed at least one tear” he said, while you were wiping away yours. You believed him, of course. When you were in the throne room, at first Marcus looked completely lifeless and depressed. It changed after he spotted you, but you knew his behaviour didn’t come out of nowhere.

You’ve managed to calm yourself a little bit. After you regained your composure, Aro smiled gently at you, making you give him your full attention.

“My dear, we would be delighted to explain to you everything, but I can clearly see that you are extremely tired. So much has happened today, and the best way we can handle this, is when you are well rested. May I suggest coming back to the topic without any more delay, when you’ve had enough sleep?”

You smiled because of his intricate wording.

“Sure. Although, there’s no need for you to talk to me this way” you said amused, while also trying not to sound rude. The way Aro expressed his thoughts was extremely distinguished and you understood that this was part of his personality that he had acquired over three millennia.

Caius smiled to himself hearing your remark and Marcus didn't hide his amusement either. Even Aro seemed mildly entertained.

“Forgive me, cara mia” he said apologetically, mischievous tone of his voice never escaping your attention. “I am quite old by now” his remark made Caius laugh loudly. You laughed too.

“I don’t think your age matters in this case” you said, your spirits raised just a little bit.

***

After your brief conversation, it was Marcus who showed you to your room. Well, it wasn’t exactly a room, as you had all suite to yourself. As soon as you saw it, you decided that it was really too much, that a bed would suffice, but fell silent after Marcus explained, why you needed to be isolated from others.

You almost forgot they were vampires and you could die if you walked into the wrong one. You shared your concerns with Marcus, who was extremely amused to hear about them. Only the most trusted members of the guard knew of the whereabouts of your chamber. The lower ranks didn't even know that you were staying in the castle for an extended period of time.

Marcus assured that overnight the kings would consider, who would be the most qualified to become your personal guardian. You were a bit embarrassed, as you seemed to be creating quite a problem with your presence in the castle. Nonetheless, you thanked Marcus, making sure beforehand that you would definitely see the three of them, as soon as you got some sleep.

Your chamber was huge. You could’ve sworn it was twice the size of the house you owned in Forks. You had your own bathroom, walk-in-closet and even a small kitchenette with a fridge. The star of the room was the massive bed with a mattress so soft, you felt like you were lying on a cloud. Before you went to bed, you decided to have a bath, because it would be silly to sleep in such a bed while being dirty.

While searching for pyjamas, you realised there were not many clothes in the wardrobe. Could this have been a guest room? You concluded that it was very likely. Anyway, you had nothing against guest rooms which looked like this. You found a thin-strapped, ankle-length nightdress, in a fabric so pleasant that it was impossible to resist wearing it.

The bathroom was ridiculously large, with two sinks to the left of the entrance, a huge bathtub in the middle and a shower that was built into, what you assumed, was a marble wall. On the opposite side of the entrance there was a vanity, with all kinds of beauty products and perfumes. You also didn't expect the bathroom to be in bright colours, and yet, the walls and floor were white marble, whereas all other elements were golden. You didn't even want to think about the fact that indeed, you had real gold faucets to your exclusive use.

You continued to think about the fact that it seemed too much. The lavishness overwhelmed you and, at the same time, distracted you from unpleasant thoughts. The washing up part, as always, was difficult for you. You tried not to look in the mirror at all. Eventually, you decided you didn't have the energy to try a bath, so you went for a quick shower.

It wasn't until you were in the shower, before you truly felt tired. You doubted it was an evening, but you felt like you'd just done a double shift at the hospital. It felt wonderful to have your hair washed, only to cuddle up later in an incredibly soft towel.

While changing into your nightgown, you didn't even glance in the mirror. You were unable to look at your naked body in the reflection. You were afraid, even though the bruises and wounds had long been healed.

Climbing onto the bed, you tried not to think too much. You didn't want to think about what you were going to do with the baby. You didn't want to think about the fact that you would probably have to explain to Caius and Marcus, why you were pregnant in the first place. You also didn't want to think about Aro seeing those memories. You were glad that you could fall asleep and, at least for a little while, be relieved of the burden of reality.

***

“Alright. What is there that we need to discuss?” you asked, trying to focus. You were back in the study with the round table, except that there were many more papers and books on it than the day before.

It was the strangest morning of your life. According to what Aro told you, you slept for about fifteen hours. He was by your side when you woke up, but not in such manner as to startle you in any way. He came to ask how you were feeling and what you felt like eating for breakfast. You thought that with a kitchenette in your room you would be preparing your own meals. You were very much mistaken. When you said that you would like to eat scrambled eggs, Aro only smiled and told you to get dressed.

You didn't have time to ask what you were supposed to wear since the walk-in-closet was almost empty, but he had already disappeared. It turned out that you were wrong again. In those fifteen hours, someone had managed to restock your wardrobe at least halfway. You were too surprised to look at everything, but you had never seen such expensive and well-tailored clothes. You picked out the first pieces you were sure, you would feel comfortable in.

After a quick shower, you dressed up and when you came out of bathroom, Aro was already waiting for you. He brought you your meal and while you were eating, he would talk to you about things that were of minor importance. It was hard not to notice that he was in a great mood and you had to admit that you were sharing his optimism. He waited patiently for you to end your meal so that both of you could join Marcus and Caius in the study. If your human memory didn't fail you, a great number of issues had to be discussed.

You smiled, seeing so many papers and books on the wooden table. Caius and Marcus were sitting in the exact same places as yesterday.

“You should’ve wake me sooner, you know. I never sleep this much” you said, also sitting in the same place you were assigned the evening before. Aro sat in the chair on your right.

“You should sleep as long as you feel like it, dolcezza,” said Caius, focusing all his attention on you. You blushed a little. You weren’t used to being in the centre of attention. It didn't make you uncomfortable before, but after what happened... It was going to take some time before you could fully recover.

“Caius is right. You should get plenty of sleep, my dear. If there’s no need to wake you up, we simply will not do it,” said Aro, whose smile has not left his face even for a moment.

When Marcus had finished whatever he was doing, you could finally move on to the conversation between the four of you. You thought that Aro will lead the conversation but, apparently, you were really going to discuss this together.

“I gathered you were a nurse before. You also worked with Carlisle,” started Aro, getting straight to the point. You nodded your head in agreement.

“Yes. I worked on Paediatric Intensive Care Unit but hospital in Forks is so small that I usually ended up also helping Carlisle with many things” you admitted, trying to divide your attention between three of them. If you were to stay a human for a little while, you needed to work on that. It was rather problematic to look at them all at once.

“We became friends when Bella started seeing Edward, but then the whole moving out thing came up and right now, I don't really know if I know Carlisle as well as I thought I did,” you said, without a trace of regret in your voice. Aro knew very well that you had a grudge against the doctor. Sure, Edward had left Bella, but you were sure Carlisle would have at least told you about the promotion. Now you knew it wasn't about that at all, and yet the grudge continued.

Aro smiled lightly, but you saw a glint of sadness in his eye.

“After you transformation I will be pleased to invite here my old friend Carlisle along with his family. I hope everything will work out fine between the two of you” he said with hope in his voice. You had no idea that Carlisle new Aro to the extent that he called him an old friend. You promised yourself to talk about this with Aro while in private.

“I’m…a bit concerned about this, actually” you said anxiously. “I know I need to become a vampire one day, but…” You never ended the sentence. Were you afraid of pain? No, certainly not. However, you wanted to begin with knowing your mates just a little bit more. You wanted to know more about this world you were supposed to spend eternity in.

“It’s perfectly alright to be afraid, [Y/N]” said Marcus, leaning closer to you. You felt stupid and young.

“I don’t think I’m afraid. I’m only…uncertain, because I know close to nothing about your lifestyle and I’m not sure I’m quite ready to experience it,” you tried to explain, as best as you could. Aro was a little bit ahead of Caius and Marcus, as he saw at least parts of such thoughts in your mind. Caius was the one to answer you.

“It understandable, [Y/N]. While you’ll be spending time with us, we’re going to explain everything to you. One step at a time, as my dear brother said earlier. And tell me, how do you like your chambers?” he asked, clearly curious about your opinion. You smiled, but it was a shy one.

“I love it, really, but, as I asked Aro earlier, isn’t it too much?” you suggested, trying not to offend him. Aro and Marcus smiled softly, Caius snorted.

“Nonsense, cara. With us, you'll have the very best of all worlds” he assured you.

“In that case, thank you, all of it is truly wonderful, although I feel a little awkward.”

Again, all three just laughed, but it wasn’t impolite in one bit. Aro put a strand of your hair behind your ear.

“My dear, no need for you to fret about such things as money. The most important person to us is you and we will give you whatever you need” he assured you, still with that magnificent smile. You nodded shyly, not being able to say anything. You had only been with them in a room for a short while and you felt like you were drunk. The aura they exuded was irresistible. Simultaneously you wanted to be with each of them separately and with all of them altogether. It was not an affection, not yet, but this strange attraction did not allow itself to be forgotten easily. You yearned to be in the same room with them, just to be able to talk to them and look at each other constantly.

“I have… I have a house in Forks” you said, after a few minutes of silence.

“Would you like to sell your property?” asked Caius, raising an eyebrow. Aro was also intrigued. Marcus just continued to look at you, almost as he studied your face.

“I guess. I don't think I want to go back there again” you said quietly, recalling how many bad things happened there. You were no longer at ease, not even to mention amused. The kings, just as it happened the day before, felt the shift in your behaviour. “Ever” you emphasised, but it was only a whisper.

Bad memories deluged your thoughts. Your mother's illness and death. Your father's accident, then his death. Also, the most recent events. You swallowed hard, trying not to cry.

“I don’t want this house. I don’t want to come back to this godforsaken place ever again,” you said, wiping away a single tear with your fingers. You were ashamed, but you could not hold back the tears that followed. You did not deserve to go through all of this.

It was Marcus who spoke first.

“Cara, Aro told us nothing about your past, but I can assure you no one is going to hurt you here. You can be certain about this” he said gently, handing you a handkerchief. You accepted it gratefully, then began to quickly wipe away your tears.

“Marcus is absolutely right, [Y/N]. There is nothing in this world that we cannot protect you from. We will always be by your side. You won’t be in danger ever again” Caius assured you, while you were still trying to get these tears under control.

Aro seemed as if he wanted to lock you in an embrace and never let you go again, but he restrained himself. You knew it was because of your memories, because he saw what happened to you, and because he literally lived through it with you. You thought that probably the latter pushed you towards this decision. Who could know better what you’ve been through, than a person who knew about all things that happened during your life? You wanted a hug, desperately, and you already knew, you could trust Aro on this one.

Once he saw the permission in your eyes, you immediately found yourself in his arms. As usual, he was immensely gentle and affectionate, stroking your hair while not touching your skin, so as not to accidentally read your thoughts. You cuddled into him trustingly, not caring that he was cold. You had known him one day and he had managed to evoke more trust within you, than friends that you had known for years.

When the crying eased and you calmed down slightly, you rested your head on his shoulder. Again, just like yesterday in the throne room, you felt as if you had been home for a long time. They were your home, not some pile of stones and a roof.

“I’m sorry” you whispered, trying not to be ashamed. Aro stroked your hair again.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about, cara mia,” he assured you, with a gentle tone of his voice. You glanced at Marcus and Caius, but they only seemed at ease, as you finally were calm and not crying. Not a hint of jealousy. You didn't want Aro to let you out of his embrace and apparently he wasn't going to do anything of the sort either. You felt safe within his arms.

“Can you take care of ‘selling the house’ thing?” you asked, trying to remember what were you talking about before your emotional breakdown.

“Of course, [Y/N]. You could call Isabella later, to gather things you want to have here with you,” said Caius, exceptionally calm. Maybe his behaviour in the throne room was only an act? Or maybe he was being this way only because you were a mess and he didn’t want to upset you more than you already were.

“Yes, I’d like that, please” you said politely, wiping away the last of your tears with the handkerchief you got from Marcus.

“Are you ready to talk about the child, cara, or do you want to postpone it until some other time?” Aro asked you, trying to be as gentle with the word choice as possible. You hid your face in his jet black hair. It smelled of something you couldn't quite define, but it had a calming effect on you. You heaved a number of deep breaths. He gently caressed your shoulder.

“If you feel like sharing this, cara mia, please do. If you are unable to, do not force yourself” he advised, with so much sensitivity in his tone, that you wouldn’t expect from a man, yet alone from a vampire. It seemed that nor Caius, neither Marcus wanted to push you only to get this information.

You didn’t want to ponder about it for too long. It would definitely come to an end with you simply telling nothing at all. While you were not ready at all to talk about it, you needed to explain this somehow. You weren’t ready for any unexpected touch. You were adamant that current thing with Aro was caused by situation and your emotions. While the thought of Caius or Marcus touching you wasn’t downright awful, the idea of unexpected, unwelcomed touch made you twitch uncontrollably.

“As Aro was kind enough to mention…” started Marcus, probably to assure you no words were truly needed. You might, as well, have said it already. You didn't want anyone to accidentally touch you. You wanted to welcome the touch of your mates, just as you did with Aro a few minutes before. Being touched when you didn’t want would be catastrophic, not only for your mental health, but also for the stirring relationship with kings. It would have been worse than talking about rape itself out loud.

“I was raped a few weeks ago” you choked out, trying to make your voice sound as toneless and apathetic as possible. “I haven’t decided what to do with the… with it. Yet” you added, feeling stupid and extremely anxious. You wanted to get it over with, and at the same time you knew, it would have to be talked about at some point.

Nobody said anything. They probably waited for more words, maybe more emotions. You weren’t tense or embarrassed in front of them. Although, the uncertainty, of what were their thoughts on the topic, was a little bit intimidating. As minutes passed and you were saying nothing, Caius spoke up.

“Do you want us to kill him?” he asked, sweeping you off your feet with the question. You stared at him with amazement, completely forgetting about Aro embracing you. Your gaze didn’t discourage Caius a one bit. “Maybe some tortures first? What do you say, brothers?” he asked Aro and Marcus, his eyes remaining on you.

“Could you really do that?” you asked, before Aro or Marcus could answer. Caius started laughing out loud. There was something terrifying and, yet, incomprehensibly appealing about it. He leaned towards you.

“We would burn the whole world for you,” he whispered perilously. “If you want him to suffer, to be terrified, just as you were, say the word” he clarified, with a nasty smirk on his face. “We’ll make his last hours on Earth a living hell.”

Caius had something dangerous within himself. Something primal. He wasn’t so self-composed as Aro and as insular as Marcus. He was violent, fierce, vicious. It should scare you away from him. Only it didn’t. You believed every word he said and wanted it done. Why this little man should live his life peacefully, when you were traumatised and pregnant with a child you didn’t want in a first place?

“Revenge isn’t going to make you feel better” Aro whispered warningly into your ear, but still with calm and gentle voice.

“Yeah, I know that” you said to Aro, while still staring into Caius’s eyes. His also were crimson, but with lighter shade than Aro’s. You weren’t anxious anymore, nor were you in emotional breakdown. “But women he wants to rape will feel better if he doesn’t” you said, smiling almost as darkly as Caius. You got the feeling that you two were going to get along pretty well. Caius leaned back into his chair.

“Fantastic. We’ll talk about it more in following weeks, dear” he said, obviously pleased with the outcome of the conversation.

“Regardless if you keep the child, you’re going to be one of us” reminded Aro, to change the subject. When he mentioned transformation, you were far more conscious than few moments before. You tried not to be pessimistic about the change. You knew questions needed to be asked, but you had plenty of time to ask about anything you wanted and exactly three most experienced vampires in the world to answer them.

“We established it before, Aro” said Marcus for the first time in a while. You gathered that he wasn’t the talkative one here. You disentangled yourself from Aro's embrace and returned to your chair. Enough touching for today. However, you were sure that the sense of safety and comfort that he provided you with, would remain with you for a long time.

“I’m not able to tell you now if I want to keep the child” you said with confidence. “Anyway, I need to know what will happen, whether I decide to terminate the pregnancy or not.”

You were looking directly at Aro. You knew he had the final word here. You had a feeling how it’ll end, but you wanted to hear it anyway and have it straightforward. Aro sighed softly and smiled warmly after.

“If you’d like to keep the child, you’re going to give birth to it and when it’ll be grown up enough, it’ll become one of us” he said, his gaze extremely soft.

“Okay” you agreed. “And what if I’m not going to keep the child?” you asked, because it was the more probable occurrence. Aro saw it within your thoughts and you weren’t going to act like it wasn’t the choice you were closer to opt for. His smile remained gentle and warm, his eyes calm and soft on yours.

“The things that need to be done, are going to be done” he said, and you were extremely grateful that he didn’t use the ‘abortion’ word. You were too emotionally unstable to talk about it so straightforward. “We are going to know each other a little bit more. You’ll also meet our most trustful guards to feel safe. When you’ll be ready, one of us will change you” he explained, as simple as he could. You smiled at him a little sadly.

“Alright. Do I have any time limitations?” you asked curiously, throwing a quick glance at Caius and Marcus.

“No, dolcezza. You can take as much time as you want. You’re finally with us. That’s what truly matters to us” he reassured you. He was neither angry nor upset with the thought of you postponing transformation till the child is being born.

“One step at a time” he said cheerfully and smiled. You also smiled. It was almost impossible not to. “Cara mia, you’re so pretty when you smile. I hope you’ll be able to do that more and more here” this sentence made you blush. All three of them laughed, which made you blush even more.

“Thank you” you whispered, but it was a little unsure and hesitant. You saw concern on their faces.

“May I ask you one more question?” this time it was Marcus who asked.

“Yeah, go ahead.”

“Have you checked how far along are you? You’ve told us that maybe you’ll want to terminate the pregnancy, but my concern is about your health and how your body is going to catch up with the decision of yours, regardless what it’ll be” he said, very politely, trying not to offend you. You appreciated that dearly.

Marcus did ask very good question, though. You had no idea how far along you were. It was at least three months since it happened, so your first trimester should be over very soon.

“I don’t know. I haven’t checked. I couldn’t find the courage to do so. The only thing the doctor did, was to confirm the pregnancy” you answered, trying hard to remember if something else was being said.

“We should probably call the doctor, then” said Marcus, concern noticeable in his voice. Aro and Caius agreed with him, so did you.

“So, do I have my own cook at my disposal?” you asked to change the subject and relieve tension a bit. Enough of difficult subjects for today.

“Ah, yes, my dear, of course!” said Aro with extreme enthusiasm. “I hope you enjoyed your breakfast today. If something isn’t the way you want it, tell any of us right away.”

“Oh, yes, I did! Hey, and I told you that already!” you said, quite amused. “Am I not supposed to be the one, who forgets?” you asked, laughing.

Caius laughed most loudly, clearly amused by what you’ve just said. Aro smiled, watching you being in better mood, than before. Marcus was just Marcus, but he also smiled.

You spent the rest of the day with the kings, talking about many important and less important things. Mostly, you talked about the matter of selling your house, the things you will want to have with you in the castle, the fact that you should give up your job and your personal guard. The latter has been the cause of endless discussion. Later that evening, Aro decided that Renata, his personal guard, would be temporarily assigned to you.

You wanted to argue but there was literally no point in it. You knew that for the time you were still human, you had to have some sort of guard, because you couldn't even handle half a vampire on your own. You weren't tired at all, so after eating dinner you spent time with Caius and Marcus, trying to figure out what you could do together to get to know each other better. Unfortunately, Aro was obliged to attend to some important business, but in this case, you had already established some kind of a bond with him.

Caius and Marcus deeply respected your wish not to touch you in any way. You visited the library and were sure you had simply fallen in love. Sadly, most of the books were written in languages the existence of which you were previously unaware. Marcus was more than happy to offer you to study with him. To begin with, learning Italian. You had not yet discovered what Caius liked to do, but you were sure you would soon find out.

When they too had to attend to important matters, they escorted you to your room, and you decided it would be a good idea to call Bella. Not just about the house, but generally to let her know you were alive. When you’ve finally reached her, you both couldn’t shut up.

“Hi, sister!” you squeaked, overly excited. You heard her laugh.

“Hi! Are you fine, [Y/N]? I was starting to worry, the only thing that kept me from calling you was Alice,” she said and you laughed.

“Hi [Y/N]!” you heard Alice in the background. You threw yourself on the bed, so that you could lie on your stomach. You hugged your pillow and made yourself comfortable.

“Hi Alice!” you greeted her, smiling to yourself like a mad person, who you probably were, given the circumstances. “I’m happy to hear you, Bella, seriously. Are you at Cullen’s place?” you asked curious, as where Alice came from.

“Yeah, exactly. We were all worried here, you know” she admitted, you heard how anxious she was. You couldn’t help it but laughed.

“Well, how could you leave me in the lion's den like that” you joked and heard someone’s laugh.

“She’s fun. I need to meet her” you heard again and also laughed.

“This will probably happen sooner rather than later,” you answer to this mystery someone with confidence. Bella’s side fell silent. “But, you know, I guess I’m okay. I had fifteen hours of sleep today and the best scrambled eggs in my entire life” you admitted cheerfully, thinking about you waking up and eating your breakfast in Aro’s presence. You smiled widely. You heard someone talking in the background, but you had no idea what was this all about.

“That’s good because I was worried sick when we got out of that room” Bella admitted, trying to sound not too worried, though.

“It’s better than fine, you know. And how are you? You seriously were as white as a sheet while in throne room” you said and this was your turn to be worried about Bella again. “Hey, and I hope this asshole isn’t going to leave you again. My threat is in force,” you said in a threatening tone, knowing that Edward could definitely hear it. You heard the same laugh as before plus Bella’s laugh.

“I’m sure he’ll not be doing it again. Carlisle has already scolded him decently.”

Your heart ached a little after hearing Carlisle’s name. You thought he was your friend, or maybe it was beginning of friendship, and now you had no idea what to think about it at all.

“Good. How are you, Bells?” you asked again, hugging your pillow tightly.

“I’m okay, really, [Y/N]. No need to worry about me.”

Of course you were going to worry about her. She was just like a little sister to you. No way you’d stop worrying. Suddenly, you remembered what happened in the throne room and became seriously concerned.

“Have you set a date?” you asked, and again, the other side fell silent. This time completely. You sighed heavily. “I’m not a spy, you know, but I’m worried about you. We will need to talk about all of this. I get why didn’t you tell me, but, seriously Bella, your self-preservation instinct does not exist,” you scolded her, just a little. You had a feeling that she gave no fucks, no matter what anyone could say about this situation.

“Says the “I’m staying here, Bella” person” she gritted out with sarcasm. You rolled your eyes.

“One, they wouldn’t let me leave. Two, you were in danger and I was alright with sacrificing myself to save you. Three…” this time you fell silent, realising something important. “…I wouldn’t go. I’m not able to. This bond, whatever it is, it’s strong shit. You probably now it, as you have this with Edward. I have got it triple.”

After really long moment of complete silence, Bella spoke up.

“Why would you sacrifice yourself for me?” she asked, her question as heavy as storm clouds. You sighed.

“Because I’ve got nothing to live for, ya know? I was prepared that I wouldn’t get out alive,” you admitted with sad voice, but it was downright true.

“You’re pregnant, [Y/N]” she said, like it was something, which could immediately improve your well-being and quality of life. You felt like throwing up.

“Yeah. I’m pregnant with the child I don’t want, with a man I’ve never met, who forced himself on me and made my life more miserable than it already was. I should probably send him a card or something because, guess what, I’ve never considered that my life is going to be more crappy than it already was after my parents’ death.”

When you ended the sentence and no one said anything, you just sighed heavily.

“You’ve got the date set?” you asked again, merely curious about this and to change the topic.

“Not yet” she said, her voice sad and full of emotions.

“Then do it. They’re patient, to some extent, but don't tempt fate. I don’t want to attend yet another funeral,” you said bitterly, trying not to think at all.

“How can you be so calm about all of this?” Bella snapped suddenly, making you shift uncomfortably on bed.

“And how you can be so calm? How was this your fucking plan from the very beginning? Once again, I try to understand you, while not understanding you at all” you snapped too, tired of any games. Before she could answer, you continued:

“I’m not coming back. I wanted to ask you if you could go to my house and get some things, I can make you a list if it’s going to be easier.”

You thought telling her this right away would be better than if she wasn’t aware for weeks or months.

“What?! Why aren’t you coming back?” she asked with raised voice. You wanted to shout and scream but you didn’t. It was too much for one day.

“Because I’ve got nothing to come back to. You’re going to be a vampire anyway, so I’ll see you in some time. I’m selling the house and I want to leave the past exactly where it belongs” you explained, trying not to yell. The hormone fluctuations didn't make it easy for you at all.

Another silence. You were tired of all of this.

“Can you do this for me, Bella? Because if you can’t, I’m sure…”

She didn’t let you finish.

“Of course I’ll do it for you. Can we talk tomorrow about the details?” she asked, her voice calmed a bit.

“Yeah, sure. It’s well after midnight here anyway, so I should probably go to sleep. I’ve got doctor’s appointment tomorrow in the afternoon” you said, trying to sound casually. Last thing you needed now was to argue about anything with Bella.

“Okay, so, call me tomorrow?” she asked. “And be safe.”

“You too, Bells. Take care. I love you, sis” you said, trying to stop the forthcoming tears.

“I love you too, [Y/N].”

Long after this phone call, you couldn’t get yourself to sleep. You tried bath this time, but it was mostly useless. At least, you were clean. First time after the rape, you decided to touch your belly on purpose. It began to curve gently, and, apart from that, you still felt pain and pressure in your breasts. You put on a nightdress and went to bed, this time actually trying to get some sleep. You also tried not to think too much about what the future would bring.

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raindancer2004 · 3 years

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Rejected by a human?

Word Count: 6,561 Demetri x Swan reader Oneshot - Warnings: Angst, Fluff

Edward starts to step outside without his shirt on when Bella runs into his arms, asking to him to open his eyes and to go back inside. Bella says she can let him go now and Edward tells her that he loves her and that he can’t live in a world where she is not in it. They share a kiss as Demetri and Felix enter the hallway. Edward tells them “I won’t be needing your services after all gentlemen” “Still we should take this conversation to a more appropriate venue” Demetri replies. Edward nods and tells Bella to go and enjoy the festival. “The girl comes with us” says Felix. “Go to hell” Edward replies.

The doors burst open “Come on gentlemen, you don’t want to cause a scene” states Alice. “You wouldn’t” replies Felix. Demetri ignores the conversation between his friend and the female vampire as his eyes focus on the girl standing behind Alice. She has long brown hair and chocolate brown eyes. He feels a burning in the back of his throat but ignores it as takes her warm hand in his cold one as they all make their way to the throne room to meet with Aro, Caius and Marcus.

Once in the throne room Demetri keeps Y/N beside him, an arm wrapped around her holding her. Edward offers his hand to Aro. Aro tells the room that Bella is Edward’s La tua cantante and that Edward cannot read her mind. Aro then discovers that Bella is immune to his gift and Jane’s.

Edward and Felix then fight as Edward tries to stop Felix from killing Bella. Felix has Edward kneeling on the throne steps with his head in his hands ready to remove it, when Bella cries out “Kill me, kill me, not him, not him” Aro stops Felix and looks to Bella “You would give up your life for someone like us, a soulless monster” “You don’t know a thing about his soul” replies Bella. Before Aro can kill Bella Alice shows her vision of Bella becoming one of them, “Your gifts will make for an intriguing immortal Isabella. Go make your preparations” Aro says bringing his hands together.

Aro notices Demetri is holding a human in his arms. “What are we going to do with you my dear?” Aro says walking towards Demetri and Y/N; she hears a low growl escape Demetri as he pushes her behind him feeling the need to protect her.

Marcus recognises the mate bond and calls out “Brother” getting Aro’s attention, before getting up from his throne and offering his hand to Aro. Aro sees Marcus’ thoughts and sees that Y/N is Demetri’s mate. “Ahh it would seem another happy ending is to be had thanks to your visit” Aro says loudly. “What?” Y/N asks “It would seem that you are the mate of our dear Demetri. You are True Bond Mates to be exact. This is rarer than Blood Singer Mate pairings like your sister and Edward” Marcus explains “The only other True Bond Mate pairing I have seen in my time was between my late wife and I” He continues. “What is a True Bond Mate pairing?” Y/N asks curious. “The True Bond Mate pairing is very sacred and should be treasured” Marcus answered smiling. “Wh-what happens now?” She asked “I’m sure Demetri would like the chance to get to know you and for you to get to know him in return” Aro replies. “So he’ll be coming back with us…?” “No my dear you will stay here with him” Aro continues “No. She can’t stay here” Bella cries out “Not with him!” “Now, now Bella, you know what you and Edward have been through the last six months, after all it is what led you here. Do you really want your sister and Demetri to go through that? It would be worse for them” Caius responds, Bella went to object when Edward shook his head at her.

“Thanks for the heads-up Alice” Y/N says sarcastically “What? Why are you blaming her?” Bella questioned. “Well Little Miss Crystal Ball over there” Y/N starts pointing to Alice, the Volturi guards chuckled “Would have seen this coming as soon as we decided to come here and save your precious Edward and yet she said nothing. Now I’m stuck here with someone I don’t know; someone who could kill me in an instant. I mean if she had told me this would happen, I could have at least a) packed some clothes and stuff or b) not come at all” Y/N finishes and Demetri feels sad hearing this, for he would never harm her for it would hurt him to do so. “I’m sorry Y/N, but I knew if I told you, you wouldn’t have come and that would cause problems for us in the future” Before anyone could respond to Alice, Edward said “We’ll be going now Aro” bowing his head “Thank you for your visit. Heidi will be here any moment” Marcus responds and with that Edward, Bella and Alice leave the throne room escorted by Demetri who took Y/N’s hand in his “Come cara mia, say goodbye to Bella” He says softly. Y/N watched as Edward, Alice and Bella left the castle “I can’t believe they’re leaving me here” She mumbled to herself, although Demetri heard and frowned slightly.

Demetri left Y/N at reception with Gianna. “I’ll come back and collect you shortly” Y/N nods and takes a seat and picks up a magazine to read. About 30 minutes later Demetri returns to reception and Y/N notices his eyes are a brighter shade of red than before. “Hello cara mia. Who do I have the pleasure of being mated to?” “My name is Y/N. You’re Demetri?” “Yes, yes I am. Come I’ll show you to my…our room that is unless you want me to stay away, then it will be your room until you decide otherwise” “Do I not get my own room?” She asked “Do you want your own room?” He enquired. “I-I don’t know what I want, I mean I only found out about vampires on the flight over” Demetri looked at her shocked “What do you know about vampires, about us?” “Only what Alice told me and to be honest that wasn’t a lot” He nodded “Can I ask you a question, although I don’t think I’m going to like the answer” “Go ahead cara mia. You can ask me anything” He replied “Y-your eyes, they’ve changed colour since I first met you a few hours ago. They’re brighter than before. Why is that?” “My eyes are brighter, redder than before because I have recently fed. My eyes get darker the thirstier I get” He replied “Oh ok. You drink human blood, right?” She looked a little worried “Yes Y/N I do, but you are safe with me. I promise you” She nodded although she wasn’t totally convinced.

They arrived at Demetri’s room “Sorry about all the stairs; the higher the rank of the guard, the higher the room in the castle” “That’s ok, just don’t expect me to find way back here if I leave the room” She let out a slight chuckle. Y/N noticed there was a marble fireplace on the right-hand side of the room with bookcases on either side; there was a blood red coloured rug in front of the fireplace. There was a sofa facing the fireplace with a matching chair to the right. On the wall opposite the door was a set of French doors leading to a balcony; a desk was placed to the right of the doors with a world map on the wall above the desk. On the wall opposite the French doors were 2 doors; one leading into a walk-in closet and the other leading into a large bathroom. Y/N noticed the bathtub on the left-hand side was big enough for two; a large walk-in shower was situated opposite the door. On the right-hand side of the room was a toilet and a double vanity unit with two sinks. “Wow. This is nicer than most hotels” Demetri heard her comment and smiled to himself. She then noticed the king size bed on the wall opposite the fireplace. “I thought vampires do not sleep” “It’s not for sleeping or at least it wasn’t before your arrival. A bed can be used for many things cara” He says softly in her ear whilst running his fingers up and down her arms; Y/N blushes and steps forward away from him. “Did you want to stay here on your own?” “No, I…” Demetri smiled “I don’t want to throw you out of your own room. Is there a guest room I could stay in?” Demetri’s smile faded upset that his mate didn’t want to stay with him or even stay in his room. “I’m sure I can arrange something, stay here”

He left the room and bumped into Heidi “Are you ok Dem?” “No. I finally meet my mate and she wants nothing to do with me” He replies sounding sad, Heidi looks confused. “She doesn’t wish to stay in my room with me or without me; she has asked to have her own room” He finishes. “Oh Dem don’t take it personally. This is all new to her. I mean the Cullens and her sister did just leave her here” She says sympathetically. “There’s an empty room opposite yours; Chelsea and I can turn it into her room” “Thank you at least she’ll be near me, all the other guest rooms are on the other side of the castle” “I know that’s why I offered. She can stay in my room in the meantime if that’s ok with you?” “Yes that should be ok. Come on we’ll go tell her”

“Y/N this is Heidi. You can stay in her room until yours is ready if you’d like?” “Hello Heidi, thank you for the offer, but I do not wish to throw you out of your room either” “No need to worry about that I’ll be too busy turning the empty room opposite Demetri’s into your room” “If you’re sure, that would be lovely thank you” Y/N smiled at her. “Do you have any bags with you?” Heidi asks looking around the room “No. It was only supposed to be a quick trip to bring Edward home so I didn’t pack anything” “I’ll take you shopping tomorrow and we’ll get you some stuff. In the meantime you can borrow something of mine” Heidi says smiling holding out her hand to Y/N “Come on I’ll show you to my room. Bye Demetri” “Take this” He says to Heidi too low for Y/N to hear and hands her his bank card. “Thank you Heidi. See you soon Y/N” “Bye Demetri” Y/N replies leaving the room. Demetri sighs and sits on the sofa his head in his hands ‘She is my mate and she wants nothing to do with me’ Demetri thinks to himself sadly.

Sometime later he stands and makes his way to the throne room “What a pleasant surprise my boy” Aro greets him “I would have thought you would be with your lovely mate” “Master” Demetri replies holding out his hand for Aro to read his thoughts. “Come with me” Aro says leading Demetri to his private study. “Be patient with her. She has just found out about vampires, about us few hours ago and on top of that she has a new home to get used to. She has also found out she is mated to a vampire” “I know but I want to be with her, help her settle in, get to know her and she won’t even stay in my room whether I’m there or not. Maybe I should have let her go” He looks down at the floor “Do not say that or think it. If anything happened to either of you, the other would end up like poor Marcus” Aro says placing a hand on Demetri’s shoulder. “Take care of her, treasure her my dear boy. She will come to love you in time.” “Thank you master. I hope so”

The following morning Heidi takes Y/N shopping for new clothes and stuff for her room. First stop was Boux Avenue for underwear; followed by a boutique shop “They do lovely dresses in here” Heidi says pulling Y/N into the shop. They bought a black knee length sleeveless dress, a black dress with spaghetti straps and a cow neck, an emerald green dress that came to her mid-thigh, a black waist length jacket and a black pair of stilettos. The next shop they went into they picked out jeans, t-shirts, pyjamas – both long trouser sets and short sets and a pair of flat black shoes. They also picked up toiletries and make-up. “I can’t pay you back for this stuff, I don’t have much money with me” Y/N said to Heidi “Don’t worry about the cost. Demetri has given me his card and told me to get you anything you need/want” Heidi said smiling “I can’t pay him back either” “Like I said Y/N do not worry about the cost, he won’t accept any money from you anyways. He is your mate and he’ll look after you”

Heidi then took Y/N into a department store “Let’s pick out some stuff for your room” Y/N chose some blue and grey bed sets “Blue is my favourite colour” She told Heidi. Heidi bought a big silver-grey rug to go in front of the fireplace and some grey cushions with blue flowers on; these were to go on the new black sofa Heidi ordered for the room. Y/N picked a large cream blanket, black and grey bath sheets, hand towels and wash cloths; whilst Heidi selected a coffee table, two beside tables and two lamps. “Demetri might change his mind about paying for all this when his statement comes in” Y/N chuckled softly “I can assure you he won’t and anyways the stuff for your room comes out of the castle decorating account”

While Y/N and Heidi were shopping Chelsea tidied Y/N’s room removing the boxes and storing them in a cupboard down the hall. Demetri lit the fire in Heidi’s room to ensure the room was warm ready for when they returned as Y/N’s room wasn’t ready for her yet.

“Good afternoon Heidi, Y/N, cara mia. I trust you had a good time shopping” Demetri said taking the bags from Y/N “We did thank you Demetri” Y/N replied walking beside him.

Later that evening Demetri went to Heidi’s room to give Y/N her dinner “Gianna made chicken pasta with garlic bread and salad for you both. I hope it’s ok” “Thank you Demetri for bringing it to me. It looks delicious. Please thank her for me” He nodded and sat beside her on the sofa “Why did you come with Bella to save Edward?” He asked “Bella is my sister and asked me if I’d come with her, so I agreed…” She trails off “You wish you hadn’t come now?” He asked “Honestly, yes a little” He frowned “I don’t mean to upset you but this is going to take time to get used to; being the True Bond Mate of a vampire, especially as I always thought vampires were just characters in books and films” She answered him “I know cara mia. This is new for me too but we’ll work it out together” He smiled at her and she nodded unsure if she wanted to work it out with him.

The following morning Heidi came back to her room “Good morning Y/N, your room is ready whenever you are” “Thank you Heidi” They made their way to Y/N’s room that was opposite Demetri’s and Y/N noted it had a fireplace on the right-hand side of the room and a double bed on the wall opposite the fireplace, which Heidi had put a blue duvet set on. On the wall opposite the door were two doors; one leading into a small walk-in closet and other into a bathroom, which was smaller than Demetri’s. It had a normal size bathtub on the left-hand side and walk-in shower on the wall opposite the door, on the right hand side was a toilet and single vanity unit with a sink. The walls were cream and complimented the black and grey bath sheets, hand towels and wash cloths she had picked out. “Sorry there’s no balcony with your room” Heidi says to Y/N as she tries out the new sofa “I’m sure Demetri wouldn’t mind if you used his balcony if you wanted to sit outside anytime” “That’s ok, no worries, at least there’s plenty of light considering the lack of windows” Y/N replied “That’s true and we kept the walls a neutral colour for that reason also” “Thank you so much for doing this for me, I appreciate it. It just felt weird to stay with someone I didn’t know” Y/N explains, Heidi nods “I’m sure he understands”

Demetri comes to see Y/N that evening and brings her a few books from his room “Evening cara mia. I have bought you some of my books for you to borrow as there aren’t any in here” “Oh um…thank you. Y-you didn’t need to do that” She stuttered “I didn’t want you to get bored in here. I wasn’t sure what you liked so I bought a few different options” He replies as he places the books on the coffee table. “The room looks nice; I like the colour scheme” “Thank you. Blue is my favourite colour and it goes well with grey/silver” She replies and he nods “May I?” He asks pointing to the sofa; Y/N nods and Demetri sits on the other end of the sofa, leaving the middle cushion empty between them. They sat in silence for a while before Y/N broke it with a question “What do you do here?” “I am one of the four elite guards. I along with Felix train the lower and transitory guards” He answers and Y/N nods “Do you have a gift like Edward and Alice?” “Yes I do. I am a tracker. I pick up on the essence of someone’s mind and can follow it like a scent over any distance. To be able to do this I have to either have met that person physically or anyone who has met the person in the past” He explained “That’s interesting. Can you track me?” She asked “Yes I can although I cannot track your sister” “If I ever get lost all I have to do is call you and you can find me, like a GPS in reverse” She says chuckling, he chuckles too “Exactly. Although hopefully I won’t lose you” He replies. “Thank you for my new clothes. Heidi said you gave her your card to pay for them” “You’re very welcome. If you need/want anything else just let me know” He replies, she nods and gives him a small smile; feeling oddly safe with him although she wouldn’t tell him that anytime soon. “Am I allowed to leave the castle, to look around Volterra and stuff?” She asked “You can but I’d rather you didn’t go out alone, just in case something happens. Which reminds me please do not wander the halls of the castle alone as the lower guards do not have the best self-control around humans” He answered her “I understand and thank you for advising me about the lower guards. I’ll be careful” She replies. ‘Great so I need a chaperone when I go out now’ she thinks to herself.

The following morning Y/N got up and ready and made her way to Heidi’s room “Morning Heidi, any chance you’re free to come and look around Volterra with me?” “I’m free for a couple of hours” Heidi replies. Demetri was making his way to Y/N’s room after grabbing her breakfast from the kitchen when he heard this exchange and felt a little hurt that Y/N didn’t ask or want him to accompany her, as it would have given them a chance to get to know one another more. He had been given some days off by the kings so he could spend time with his new mate and had planned to spend the day with her but decided against it after hearing her conversation with Heidi, so he returned her breakfast to the kitchen and spent the day reading in his room.

A few hours later there was a knock on his door “Hey D, how you doing?” “Hi Fe, I’m fine” Felix entered the room and sat on the chair “You don’t seem fine. How come you’re not with your mate?” “Because she’d rather spend time with Heidi than me. In fact she’d rather spend time with anyone that isn’t me. She’d even probably prefer the twins over me” He closed his book and put it on the coffee table “I’m sure that’s not the case” Felix says “No it is, I went to see her last night and we talked for a bit but I got the impression she was relieved when I left her room so she could sleep” Demetri added “I’m sorry D” Felix said sympathetically “Don’t be. I should have guessed that after all this time, meeting my mate wouldn’t work out the way I thought or wanted it to” He eyes began to fill with tears that would never fall. “What are you going to do?” Felix asked “Not sure, I’m worried if I keep trying to get to know her when she wants nothing to do with me, I’ll push her away; but if I don’t do anything she may think I don’t care” Demetri replied “Yea that’s a tough one D. All you can do is try” Felix advised, feeling sorry for his friend.

Heidi and Y/N return to the castle and Y/N decided to go for a nap, hoping she’d be left alone. Demetri knew they had returned but decided to stay in his room, figuring if Y/N wanted to see him, she’d come to him but she stayed in her room for the entire night.

Demetri knocked on her door the following morning “Come in” Came a sleepy response “Morning Y/N, I wondered if you’d like to go out for breakfast with me?” He asked sounding hopeful “No thank you Demetri, I’m not that hungry” She replied “Ok I understand” Demetri closed her bedroom door and sped to the training room “Fe I need to hit something or someone hard” He growled loudly “Come on then D” Felix replied and Demetri didn’t hesitate; he thumped his best friend hard and Felix stumbled back from the force “Thank you Fe” “No worries. Better me than a wall. I’m going to assume this is Y/N related” He replied rubbing his jaw “I’m going to ask Aro if I can resume my duties, no point having time off to get to know her if she doesn’t want to get to know me” He sounded defeated, Felix nodded feeling sorry for his friend.

Aro wouldn’t let Demetri resume his duties stating “You need to give her time but you also need to make sure she feels cared for. Don’t give up my boy” “I understand master” Demetri sighed and made his way back to his room, grabbing a book and sat on the balcony reading.

“I think I’ll visit Y/N and have a chat with her about mates” Marcus said looking to Aro and Caius.

Marcus paid Y/N a visit that evening “Good evening my dear, I was hoping we could talk?” “Evening Marcus, of course come in” She replied. Marcus sat on the sofa next to Y/N “How have you been?” He asked “I’ve been ok thank you. Heidi decorated my room for me and we went shopping for clothes and things for the room” She replied “Yes, I see you’re not staying with Demetri. May I ask why?” He questioned “I didn’t feel comfortable staying with someone I don’t know nor did I think it fair for him to leave his room for me. I asked if I could stay in a guest room or something and Heidi offered to do fix up this room. I suppose she chose this room as it’s opposite his” She answered him. “What do you know about mates Y/N?” There was silence for a few moments before she answered Marcus’ question “Only what you told me when I arrived here. Why?” “Well Y/N, there are some things you need to know. First if a vampire is away from their mate for too long, they start to miss them; the longer they are apart they start to become sad; this can lead to feeling depressed. Second if a vampire loses their mate then they become lonely and heartbroken, like me after I lost my mate centuries ago. Third there is only one mate per vampire; if we lose them or are rejected by them then we remain alone for forever” He spoke softly “Why are you telling me this?” She asked “I’m telling you this because your actions affect Demetri as well as yourself. He is one of our more reasonable guards; he’s not very talkative but he’s polite, formal even. He has also been described as elegant and charming by others that have met him” “You speak very highly of him Marcus” “That’s because I think highly of him; I have known him for many centuries and he is my own personal guard” Marcus smiled. Y/N nodded. “You know I only came here because my sister asked for my company and my whole life changed. I find out vampires really do exist and to top it off I’m mated to one” She explained “You should know a vampire’s mate is someone to be treasured, protected and above all else loved for eternity. Demetri would be an amazing mate to you if you let him. You should know that he had given up on the idea of finding his mate” Marcus said shifting slightly “What? Why?” She asked curious “He has been around for over 1000 years and had never met his mate; so he assumed that she must died before he had the chance to meet her or that maybe he just wasn’t meant to have one. Therefore, he stopped looking a few centuries ago and then you walk into the castle and into his life and…he feels so lucky to have finally found you; but the way you are acting towards him…is hurting him, even if he won’t admit it.” He said sadly “I’m not trying to hurt him; it’s just a lot to take in and to get used to” She defended “He just wants a chance to get to know you Y/N” “But I don’t know if I want this though, to be with a vampire, to become immortal. I always thought I’d grow up get married, have children and now I find out that none of that is going to happen. I mean I don’t even get to pick who I spend eternity with” Y/N said tears starting to fill her eyes “I understand that my dear but please remember what I said.”

Demetri heard this last part and felt his undead heart break, ‘She doesn’t want me, doesn’t want to spend eternity with me’. He knocked on her door once and left the tray of food outside her room and returned to his room grabbing a jacket and left the castle to go hunting.

Thirty minutes later he was standing on the roof of a building opposite a dive bar watching the humans below; happy couples coming and going. ‘I just wanted a chance. I would have done anything to make her happy…if she’d just given me a chance’ He thought. He drained and disposed of two humans that night before returning to the castle ensuring to be back by sunrise.

Meanwhile Marcus made his way to his room leaving Y/N to think about their conversation. Y/N left her room and crossed the hall to Demetri’s room “Demetri?” She called out as she opened his door; she got no response so she stepped into the room to see if he was on the balcony or in the bathroom. He wasn’t in his room so she decided to wait for him, figuring he wouldn’t be long. She grabbed his cloak from the bed and wrapped it around her shoulders as it was a little cold and sat on the sofa, picking up a book to read from his coffee table. She fell asleep curled up with the book waiting for him to return.

Demetri was shocked when he returned to his room before sunrise to find Y/N there; curled up on his sofa asleep with his cloak wrapped around her. He smiled at the sight in front of him but approached her with caution not wanting to scare her and shook her arm gently “Hi Y/N” He said softly “Mmm” Came the sleepy response, he smiled again and left her where she was and lit the fire to warm the room for her.

A few hours later Y/N woke up to find herself still Demetri’s room; wearing his cloak, and him sitting the in the chair reading “Good morning Y/N” “Good morning Demetri. Sorry for falling asleep in your room” “No need to apologise cara, you’re welcome anytime. I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you came by, I was out hunting” He replied “That’s ok, I just wanted to talk to you” She said fiddling with his cloak “What did you want to talk about?” He asked “I-it doesn’t matter now” She replied getting up and making her way to the door. “Did you want to spend some time together today?” He asked “Er, no I-I can’t. I’ve got plans” She said walking out the door. “It was worth a try I guess” He mumbled to himself, unknown to him Y/N had heard him and despite feeling a little guilty she returned to her room.

A few days later Demetri left for a mission with Felix and the twins “Have you said goodbye to Y/N?” Felix asked “No. It’s not like she’d care anyway” Demetri responded sounding indifferent, Alec went to say something but Jane put her hand on his shoulder and shook her head “Don’t” She mouthed to her twin. “Are you boys ready?” She asked and they nodded in response and made their way to the castle doors.

Y/N found Heidi, Corin and Chelsea in the kitchen “Have any of you seen Demetri? He’s not in his room” She asked the female vampires “He went on a mission for the masters. Did he not tell you?” Heidi responded “No, no he didn’t. It must have been a last-minute thing” Y/N replied, feeling a little hurt that he left without saying goodbye. Y/N left to make her way back to her room ‘I really have hurt him, just as Marcus said’ she thought to herself.

“I know Y/N hasn’t shown any interest in getting to know him but he at least could have said bye to her. She is his mate after all” Heidi said “I don’t blame him for not telling her. It’s not like she’s given him a reason to think of her or her feelings is it?” Chelsea responded defending his actions “But Chels” “No Heidi. Do you know how many times he has asked her out? Asked to spend time with her? And every time she turns him down. I think he’s accepted that she doesn’t want him. I’m sorry but he deserves better, better than her” Chelsea replied sounding a little angry “I agree with Chelsea. He has waited so long to find his mate, only then to be rejected by her. I feel sorry for him; he doesn’t deserve to be treated that way and especially not by a human” Corin said also sounding a little angry too “What have you got against human mates?” Heidi asked “Nothing, usually, but this situation has annoyed me. Does she think she’s too good for him or something? I’ll tell you this if I were her, I’d think myself lucky my mate was Demetri and not Alec or Felix” Corin added. “I agree with Corin, if I had a choice of Dem or Alec or Felix, I know who I’d choose. True Bond Mates is a rare and sacred pairing and she’s just thrown it away” Chelsea said.

Y/N had heard this conversation as she had stopped when she heard Heidi say her name, curiosity getting the better of her, although she wished she hadn’t now, after hearing Chelsea say that Demetri deserved better than her. That night she cried herself to sleep thinking of how badly she’d treated Demetri these past weeks, how much he must hate her now and that she’ll be alone in the castle forever.

Demetri, Felix and the twins had been gone four days now and Y/N was bored so she decided to take a look around the castle, wondering the many corridors. Without realising it she had walked to the other side of the castle and that is when she felt it; a rush of air and suddenly she was pinned against a cold, hard wall, in a poorly lit corridor. “Lucky me, I’ve found a snack” The male vampire whispered in her ear, his cold hand against her throat “I-I’m not a s-snack. I-I’m Demetri’s mate” She stuttered “Yes, I’ve heard of you. Although you are not his mate…not any longer” He licked her cheek “I heard you rejected him” He licked her neck, his hold tightening “I’m doing him a favour really by getting rid of you, he’ll get over you much quicker if you’re not around” Tears slipped down her cheek as she felt his teeth graze over her neck “SShh, don’t cry human. This won’t hurt for long” She closed her eyes and waited for him to bite her.

Just then she felt another rush of air pass her then she heard what sounded like china breaking and growling “Dem go to her” Felix said, Demetri rushed to her side and removed the vampire’s severed hand from her neck and scooped her into his arms, sitting on the nearby bench. “You’re ok cara mia. I’ve got you” He said low; one arm around her waist, the other cradling her head to his chest whilst stroking her hair. She was crying, her breathing was uneven “Deep breaths Y/N. In and out. Copy me” He breathed in and out, although he didn’t need to, trying to calm her down. Her breathing started to slow trying to match his. “Mine” He growled low in her ear, stroking her hair and she felt a warm spark go through her. Meanwhile as Felix continued dismembering the lower guard; Demetri held Y/N closer to him; breathing in her scent ‘Cherries and Honey’ “You’re safe now. I promise” He purred in her ear, feeling her relax slightly in his hold.

“Take her back to her room D. I will inform the masters” Felix said as he passed them. “Thank you Fe” He responded.

Demetri stood and carried Y/N in his arms bridal style straight to his room; laying her on his bed, after kicking off his shoes and removing his cloak he climbed on beside her and took her into his arms. She was crying into his chest “I-I’m sorry” She whimpered and moved out of his arms sitting up. Demetri sat up beside her and took her warm hand in his cold one and looked into her eyes. “I love you Y/N. Your happiness is very important to me. Please…give me a chance to show you how much you mean to me. Give me a chance to make you happy” He was pleading with her now; he couldn’t lose her, not now he had finally found her. “You-you still want me, even after I-I pushed you away?” She asked surprised “Yes, I still want you, I always have. You are my mate…mine forever if you’d have me?” He asked hopeful, she nodded “Yes. I’ll give you a chance, give us a chance” She gave him a small smile; he kissed her forehead and wrapped his arms around her. “I-I missed you while you were gone” She said quietly; he felt his heart warm at this “I missed you too and I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye” He replied “I understand why you didn’t. I just hope you can forgive me and hopefully I’ll deserve you one day” She sniffled “What are you talking about?” He asked sounding confused “It’s nothing” She whispered “Y/N…tell me, please…why do you think you don’t deserve me?” He pulled back slightly so he could see her “Chelsea said that you-you deserve better…better than me; because of how I’ve treated you these past weeks, you know pushing you away whenever you ask to spend time with me” He took her face in his hands, thumbs wiping away the falling tears “Do not worry about what others think mi amore. You are my mate and although you had pushed me away, I still took care of you” He replied softly. “Can I ask you a question?” He nodded “How come you didn’t tell me you were going on a mission?” She asked, tears still falling “Honestly?” He asked and she nodded “I didn’t think you’d care that I was leaving the castle” He answered “I’m sorry I made you feel that way” She told him sounding upset “When I found out you had left the castle and you hadn’t said bye it hurt” She continued “I’m sorry too Y/N, I should have said goodbye regardless of what was going on between us” He laid back down taking her with him in his arms. “We’ll figure this mate thing out together I promise, since it’s new to both of us” “You said that once before Demi” She pointed out “I meant it then and I mean it now” He replied kissing her hair and holding her close. “Demi, you said that you’re a tracker, right?” “Yes, that’s correct” He smiled that she had remembered that about him. “I was wondering if you will show me how your gift works one day?” She asked curious “Of course, I will. We can play hide and seek if you’d like? Although I must confess, I usually win” He replies smiling.

They stayed cuddled in each other’s arms for the rest of the day getting to know one another. “Stay with me tonight Y/N. Let me hold you while you sleep” He said low in her ear “I’d like that Demi, especially after everything that has happened today” She replied feeling safe in his arms “I promised I would keep you safe and I always will.” He vowed “I need you to know that I feel safe with you; I have done since I arrived, I just didn’t want to admit it before” He smiled and tightened his hold slightly “I’m glad to hear it mi amore” He stroked her hair and felt her relax as she fell asleep ‘I may just get my forever with her after all’ Demetri thought to himself as Y/N slept in his arms.

#demetri volturi #felix volturi #aro volturi #marcus volturi #heidi volturi #chelsea volturi #jane volturi #alec volturi #caius volturi #volturi #twilight #oneshot

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therealvinelle · 3 years

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Why do you think we rarely see “old” vampires? It’s either always teenagers or 20 something’s

I think in large parts because of vanity.

In the vast majority of cases, vampires turn humans because they like something about the human, want that human to stick around. Be it because they're mate-shopping, because they want more coven members, or because they're making a newborn army.

You'd think the latter, newborn armies, would have rubble and riffraff made vampires, but Maria turned Jasper because she thought he was a hottie. 40-year-old Jasper would have been dinner.

So, yes, I think vanity is 90% of it. Before being turned, you have to have the vampire consider turning you, and that doesn't happen if you're unattractive to them.

Keep in mind, too, that aging has... changed, for lack of a better term, over the past century. In the West, at least, age is now about looking as trendy, fit, and youthful as possible. 50-year-old married women walk around in yoga pants and ponytails, looking as hip as any 20-year-old. Grandmothers don't look like Miss Marple anymore.

The vast majority of Twilight vampires are older than the 20th century, and I think veering towards the young, usually unmarried, is a part of that.

I think it's a self-reinforcing thing, too. When most vampires are very young, the peers they create for themselves are going to veer young as well. Carlisle... well he's not such a good example, since there were extenuating circumstances between all four of his creations, he didn't choose them from flipping through a catalogue. All the same, most vampires creating companions for themselves create young people, and I find that telling.

Then there's chance. Siobhan was chosen for her beauty and youth, but her mate Liam was turned by accident, and her 15-year-old surrogate daughter Maggie was chosen for her gift on her deathbed. That's 1/3 members of a coven chosen for vanity, the others just lucked out.

Then there's culture, I imagine that's a factor as well. When every vampire you know, or the vast majority, are young people, then of course you're going to create young vampires. Geriatric vampires would be a novel, ridiculous concept, which in turn leads to people above the age of 40 not being turned. Of course, you're going to have exceptions, but it's telling that Caius is the only middle-aged vampire we meet in canon. Telling, too, that he's so very old, from a time when the world was a very different time and there perhaps were more vampires his age.

#twilight #twilight vampires #twilight meta #twilight renaissance

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chaoswillfallrpg · 4 years

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LYRA BURKE is TWENTY-FIVE YEARS OLD and an UNSPEAKABLE in THE LOVE CHAMBER at THE MINISTRY OF MAGIC. She looks remarkably like MADISON ISEMAN and considers herself NEUTRAL. She is currently TAKEN.

→ OVERVIEW:

Wealthy and advanced are two words that KRATISTA FLINT would want to eventually use to describe her daughter, and Lyra herself would also want to use those words, but sadly not in the same way. The youngest child of Kratista and EELIS BURKE Lyra was the apple of her fathers eye and the perfect pawn for her mothers schemes. Once a Flint her mother had aspirations for the Burke name to hold the same weight as that of her maiden one and to her the way to do it was through advantageous marriages for both Lyra and her older brother CAIUS. By the age of six Lyra was fluent in French and Latin, knew how to play both the piano and the harp and had a collection of custom designs so large she needed a separate room in their Bloomsbury townhouse to house them all. Although Lyra was happy to better herself and understood her privilege well and accepted it she felt as though she was born for the sole purpose of advancing the family name, almost like a pig for slaughter, the slaughterhouse being the alter with a Pure-Blood prince. Much to her mothers dismay Lyra had an infinity for the Burke side of the family over the Flint side, and although Lyra did want to better the Burke name she saw the path to do so through hard work and excellent job prospects rather than marriage. Kratista blamed this element of her otherwise perfect daughter's personality on her husband's father CARATACUS BURKE. When Lyra and Caius are not having a multitude of lessons they spend their time with their grandfather in his shop, a weird and dark place Borgin and Burkes would frighten most children but the pair loved spending hours amongst the dark artifacts the shop contained, asking their grandfather about each one and the stories behind them.

It was at Borgin and Burkes the siblings first met ERIK BORGIN, the great nephew of the shop's co-owner CALLISTHENES BORGIN and an intriguing boy the same age as Caius. The trio quickly became inseparable, gawking over each new piece brought in to the shop and Lyra found another older brother in Erik, however, much to her dismay the pair headed off to school together leaving her behind with her mother and her schemes. After Caius and Erik had left for Hogwarts Kratista’s plans for Lyra’s life started to fall in to place when they began visiting the Black family as often as they were invited. Karista’s determination to move up in the world once again meant that she had her sights set on a marriage between Lyra and a member of the most noble house of Black, so much so that she had actually named Lyra after a constellation, as was the Black tradition, in the hopes it would give her a leg up in the race for their hand. Although Karista initially had planned for REGULUS, the jewel in the Black family crown, as Lyra’s name was in fact Burke rather than Flint she was instead offered the hand of SIRIUS BLACK who was the eldest Black brother but had alas already been marked as the black sheep of the family. On these visits the once friendly boy would keep his distance, Sirius would often escape to his room or fly on his broom in the garden of his townhouse. Thinking that Sirius was avoiding her because he thought he was too good to marry a lowly Burke, Lyra would instead spend her time with Regulus, teaching him French or listening intently to the stories he had read much to her mothers delight. Kratista thought she was rubbing off on her youngest child and that Lyra was in fact setting her sights on the more sought after Black, which of course was not the case.

Leaving for Hogwarts was one of the happiest days of Lyra’s life, no more did she have to keep her mother happy and could instead explore her own interests. Finding her cousin ROSALIE FLINT on the train the pair clung to one another for support and only hoped that they would follow in the family tradition and be sorted into Slytherin together. Watching Rosalie get sorted immediately into the correct house had Lyra nervous for her turn and correctly so, the hat took what felt like hours choosing between Slytherin and Ravenclaw but ended up deciding her determination to prove her mother wrong was a very Slytherin trait to possess. Dorming with Rosalie the pair fell into a friendship group with their roommates ANDROMEDA BLACK, ADRASTEIA GREENGRASS and AALIYAH GOSFORTH and found a home with them for the next seven years. Determined to explore all she could of life whilst away from her mother Lyra threw herself into her school work, her curiosity often getting the better of her the girl would spend hours after curfew reading and researching in order to get answers. Lyra particularly shone in Herbology and Potions, spending a lot of her free time in the greenhouses and potions classrooms creating concoctions well beyond the capabilities of a normal student in her year. Her intellect being a well known fact amongst her house led to her brother's friend RABASTAN LESTRANGE asking for help in subjects he struggled in and Lyra being as kind as she were, potentially too kind for her house, agreed happily. Rabastan was far more clever than he believed and if only he spent half as much time studying than he did having mood swings he would be top of his class which Lyra openly told him. Rabastan helped Lyra as much as she helped him, he brought out a more humorous and adventurous side to her that she was happy to see, instead of tutoring him in the library or common room instead he would persuade the girl out after curfew to study by the lake or astronomy tower.

Spending a lot of time with Rabastan opened her eyes to lots of new things, one being the world of Quidditch which she enjoyed immensely. He taught her the rules and how to play and soon enough she tried out for the position of Keeper and was accepted, making new friends in her teammates such as LUCINDA TALKALOT, EMMA VANITY and her own cousin DECIUS FLINT. Also amongst her teammates was Regulus, reigniting their friendship from childhood she spent a lot of her time with him and his friend SEVERUS SNAPE who shared her passion for potions. On the occasions where she would have the unfortunate luck to bump into Regulus when he was with his other close friend, NARCISSA BLACK Lyra would quickly end the meeting. A girl who clearly didn't have the time of day for Lyra although she couldn't for the life of you say why Narcissa served as a reminder of all the things she hated about what her mother wanted her to become so wasn't that interested in befriending the girl anyway. Her later years of Hogwarts saw Lyra’s more fun and playful side come into view, already being established as an academic and an excellent Quidditch player it was also time to assert herself into the funner side of life and she had the perfect friendship group to help her. On many occasions you would find the group of Slytherin girls sneaking in the Marauders parties in the Gryffindor tower and partying with all sorts of students. It was at these parties that Lyra started to hold a candle for her ex-betrothed Sirius, who had indeed been the black sheep and defied his family. Now with the freedom it allowed Lyra noticed how Sirous had come into himself and decided to admire him from afar, never being brave enough to approach him as she would only serve as a reminder of the life he left behind.

Using her academic success in potions to hers and other peoples advantage Lyra teamed up with Adrasteia who was also gifted in the subject to create concoctions perfect for these Gryffindor parties. Being personal favourites of the Potions master PROFESSOR SLUGHORN allowed the girls to use the potions labs whenever they wanted and so spent much of their free time creating drinks that could do almost anything. They made butterbeers that could sober you up, cocktails that gave you the courage to dance to the songs being played and even dabbled with shots that could get you to the right level of drunk in one gulp. It was however with this very drink that one of Lyra’s worst memories had been made, she had entered one of the many parties with a first draft of the shot in hand when she offered one to Rabastan - at his own risk - and had one to herself. The shot worked perfectly for her, and seemingly worked for him too, the pair having enough dutch courage in them to actually share a kiss. However it all turned south when the shot must have reacted to something Rabastan had already drank and he became so drunk he couldn't stand, the next day she apologised profusely and it became quite obvious, much to her dismay that the boy didn't remember anything from the night before. Hiding her new found feelings for the boy in the same place within her heart as she did with those for Sirius Lyra graduated Hogwarts at the top of many of her classes and was flooded with Job offers.

Deciding that a job as an Unspeakable in the love chamber was an excellent way to show her mother advancing did not necessarily mean marriage and to also fix the wounds of unrequited feelings Lyra moved away from her mothers clutches and in to a flat in Carkitt Market above the Hopping Pot with Andromeda and Adrasteia. Being extremely proud of her job Lyra spent a lot of time there, becoming close with ANNABETH PEBWORTH who was a Muggle-Born witch with the same kind-heartedness Lyra herself possessed. The pair got on swimmingly at work despite the difference in blood status, Annabeth never once expecting Lyra to be cruel for her blood and Lyra never once expecting Annabeth to be below her for hers. With blood status becoming increasingly more apparent in their society Lyra is becoming more and more aware of the people around her to all intents and purposes choosing sides. Not yet ready to admit that she will likely have to choose herself, she has buried her head in the sand looking for anything to distract her. The perfect opportunity came along however in the most terrible way, her cousin Rosalie went missing at the Yule ball just gone and popped up again two weeks later with no recollection of what happened. Caring wholeheartedly for Rosalie and not wanting to see her like this Lyra has made it her mission to use her researching skills to their advantage and is working with Rosalie to figure out what has happened to her.

→ ADDITIONAL INFORMATION:

Blood Status → Pure-Blood

Pronouns → She/Her

Identification → Cis Female

Sexuality → Up To Roleplayer

Relationship Status → Single

Previous Education → Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (Slytherin)

Societies → Pura Sorores

Family → Eelis Burke (father), Kratista Burke (mother), Lyra Burke (sister), Caratacus Burke (grandfather/boss), Dionysus Flint (uncle), Lotte Flint (aunt), Decius Flint (cousin), Rosalie Flint (cousin), Elijah Yaxley (uncle), Ismena Yaxley (aunt), Eleanor Yaxley (cousin), Victor Yaxley (cousin)

Connections → Andromeda Black (housemate/best friend), Adrasteia Greengrass (housemate/best friend), Aaliyah Gosforth (best friend), Regulus Black (close friend), Rabastan Lestrange (close friend/potential love interest), Erik Borgin (close friend), Annabeth Pebworth (colleague/close friend), Sirius Black (friend/potential love interest), Lucinda Talkalot (friend), Emma Vanity (friend), Severus Snape (friend), Narcissa Black (advesary)

Future Information → N/A

LYRA BURKE IS A LEVEL 6 WITCH.

#Lyra Burke #madison iseman #harry potter roleplay #new rp #marauders era rp #taken #taken neutral #taken witch #ministry #department of mysteries #magic

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benes-diction · 4 years

Text

bricks in the wall.

Tagging @adrian-tepes666 for the inclusion of his tol and his assistance with beta-reading this to make sure I got the Wall’s personality down.

Again and again and again.

It was a living nightmare, not knowing what was going on, who was behind everything. There was no way a lone woman in Eorzea could have known about her family escaping without someone informing her. Celia knew she’d been careful. There was no godsdamned way someone could know unless they had people in the provinces still under Imperial rule or someone in Garlemald proper.

She couldn’t help her family where she was, but she could find who put them in danger.

For all intents and purposes, she was no spy, but still, she somehow managed to hide herself in the Thanalan brush overlooking a camp she’d followed that woman to.

She hated the desert nights. Compared to the heat of the day, it was like stepping into Ishgard. Before, it had been a relief. But now… Now, she was worried the cloud of her breath might alert someone below her. And as though that wasn’t enough… it did nothing to quell how overheated she felt, how the anger twisted and turned in her chest.

Her breath escaped her lips in a tiny puff. They could go after her all they wanted. They could hurt her. Hell, they could even hurt Caius for all she cared. But her parents? Her aunt? That was unacceptable.

That was war.

In the little circle of tents, very little was going on, as far as Celia could tell from her vantage point. The woman she’d attacked before had ducked into one of them with a small group—with a hat covering that decent-sized bald spot, Celia noted with a smirk—and had been there for… a few bells, if her internal clock was correct. A few other people—all members of that woman’s group, she assumed—milled about, doing menial tasks.

“Come on,” Celia hissed under her breath.

She just needed proof. Proof of who the rat was. Proof of… anything, really. Anything she could get.

She was drawn taut like a wire about to snap, she mused. She was desperate for a target to direct the fallout on.

Perhaps a better spot? Her eyes glanced over the rocky outcrops around her. Sure, they provided less cover, and put her more at risk of being caught, but if they were all hiding their true actions out of her sight…

Celia gnawed on her bottom lip, weighing the risk as she shifted her weight on the balls of her feet, and once she made up her mind, she began to slowly edge away from her hiding spot, knees scraping in the dirt, rocks and pebbles jabbing into her skin. The dry thicket latched onto her clothing and arms, leaving small, red scratches in its wake.

As quietly as she could, she clambered down the mountain path that had led her up there to begin with, the moon shining bright in the sky above her. The almost-vertical trek left her with even more scraps and scratches, and briefly, she was almost grateful that to some extent, she’d kept up with the fitness regime Arduro had showed her, even if her eating habits hadn’t received the same amount of attention.

Once her boots were on stable, horizontal ground, she dared to pause a moment, brushing the dust and grime from her clothes and skin. A soft breeze picked up, rustling across the sand, and the short ends of her cropped hair tickled the back of her neck, reminding her of what she’d done, what she’d begged Audrey to do.

It was vanity that made her eyes sting with tears, she told herself. Vanity and sand. Hair would grow back. It was just a precaution. Once everything was taken care of, she could furiously scrub all that dye from her hair and see about coaxing some sympathetic mage to jumpstart the growth so she wouldn’t feel…

No. She wouldn’t think like that. If anything, forcing herself to cut her hair, to convince Audrey to take her precious pale locks and turn them dark as night… It was a punishment. Punishment for not knowing that someone was feeding information about her family into the wrong hands, for not knowing that she was being stalked like prey, for being… herself.

An imbecile. A broken doll.

It always came back to that, didn’t it?

At least she had far more self-control with her self-loathing than Caius did.

With another huff of air, she straightened up, forcing her thoughts back to the task at hand and pushing her hair back from her face.

It was then, with her face lifted to the night sky, that she heard the crunch of gravel.

Her hand went to the push dagger sheathed at the small of her back, listening to the sound as it got closer. A sentry? A patrol? Some innocent, unaffiliated passerby?

She could handle one person—and judging by the steps, it seemed to be only one person—and if she truly had to, she could outrun someone, surely. At the least, she could squeeze herself into a small space and prevent them from following her. Had she seen any small crevices on her way there from Ul’dah? She couldn’t remember. But she’d deal with it. She’d deal with anything that got thrown at her. She was a Benes. She was a Benes. She was—

The source of the steps finally appeared over the nearby hill, just in her peripheral vision—a hulking figure in dirty, worn armor.

Familiar armor, weathered by battle, and coated in the grime of the road, rustling with a familiar, determined stride.

Just like when she’d met him once again in Ala Mhigo, it was not unlike watching a ghost march his way back to her.

Celia let her hand fall from her knife’s sheath as a small fraction of the tension eased from her muscles, watching as Arduro’s steps faltered as he took a good, long look at her.

Eorzean gods… Would he even recognize her, changed as she was? Was she no more than a stranger to her tol? Her hair was short and dark, and she knew that the bruises and scratches on her face from fighting with that woman had yet to heal. And not just that. She’d lost weight. The stress, the fear, the paranoia had sapped the appetite from her almost completely; even sweets had failed to tempt her.

Even as some part of her racing heart leapt for joy—her told had returned to her—the rest of it leapt into her throat. In fear? she wondered. Out of shame for him seeing her like that? Revulsion at how damned weak she really was?

As her heart and mind raced and raced, Arduro reached up and pulled off his helmet, tucking it under one arm as he raked stray strands of his hair from his face. Did he have more gray streaking thorugh that jet black? Gods, it had been so long since she had seen him, it felt, she couldn’t remember. But she remembered the steely gray eyes that focused on her. They’d haunted enough of her dreams, after all, scorching her very soul. Those pale eyes darted over her, taking in every detail, it seemed, but revealed nothing.

The silence felt like an iron curtain between them. Some tangible barrier that kept them in their separate worlds. And the longer it persisted, the more she wanted to scream.

Say something, she wanted to shout at him. Tell me what you’re thinking. Tell me my body is ugly or that I’m stupid for getting hurt. Tell me you’re shocked. Tell me you’re disappointed or that I’m weak.

Most of all, she just wanted to run to him and tell him all that had occurred in his absence, to have him take the burden on his shoulders so she could no longer have to suffer it alone.

But that was a luxury she didn’t have. Not now.

This was her fault. It was her family. Her family, her burden, her punishment. If she couldn’t handle one thing on her own…

“Celia?” Arduro finally asked, rumbling voice gravelly. “What are you doing out here?” A faint layer of dirt from the road mottled his chiseled face, and sweat had created small streaks through it.

She attempted to straighten her spin, glaring at him. “It’s none of your business.”

Even to her, she sounded defensive, and from the chiding look in Arduro’s eyes, he thought so, too.

“What happened, then?” he continued, stepping closer.

“It’s none of your damned business!”

She could deal with it. She had to deal with it by herself. She had to rely on herself.

His shoulders shot back, his whole demeanor stiffening as his brows drew together. She blamed his prolonged absence for not being able to read the emotion on his face, but deep down, she knew it was just because… he was himself. The Wall, unbreaking and unyielding.

He took another step toward her, boots grinding into the loose sand. They were caked with mud and… something she could only assume was the spattered blood of some unfortunate fool who had tried to rob the caravan he’d been protecting. “Celia,” he said again, voice lower, more commanding, but still rough. She wondered briefly how often he’d had to bark orders at people or other guards, directing them to hide or alerting them to threats on the road.

Had he been making sure his canteen was filled with clean water?

It didn’t matter. It… mattered a lot. But there were more pressing things for her mind to focus on.

“I’m not one of your soldiers who will just jump to attention and follow orders at a moment’s notice,” she snapped at him. Why was she letting her venom loose on him? He wasn’t the object of her rage. He hadn’t even been around for anything that had happened. He didn’t…

Eorzean gods, he didn’t even know that Audrey’s pimp had made a move on her.

It didn’t matter. He didn’t need to know. He didn’t need to worry about her. She had everything under control.

“I have things handled,” she muttered under her breath.

As she started to storm around him, he held out an arm, blocking her path. She felt his eyes like a tangible heat on the side of her face. Part of her wished he’d draw her into his arms like the love interests in all the novels she’d read, but that wasn’t his way.

The Wall didn’t crumble like that.

“Why are you avoiding my questions?” he asked her. With how close she was now, she imagined that she could feel that deep baritone rumbling in his chest like thunder.

“Let me pass.”

“Celia—”

“Let me pass, or I will move you myself.”

“Benes,” he snapped, gripping her by the arm as he spun her slightly to face him. “What happened to you?”

“Something I took care of. Something that I am taking care of.”

He shook his head. “I need more detail from you than that, Celia. Talk to me.”

Why was everyone coddling her so? Everyone who had seen her now all seemed to just… scold her. Scold her for being stupid, or taking things on by herself.

Why couldn’t they just let her deal with the consequences of her own inadequacies by herself? She’d ask for help when she needed it. Hadn’t she done that already? Hadn’t she practically gotten on her knees and begged Audrey to dye her hair to give her an added layer of security? Hadn’t she suffered through Caius looking at her with that pitying expression, like she was some kicked puppy that had happened to crawl onto his doorstep? Hadn’t she endured Laelia’s scolding, the ice in her tone? Sure, the good doctor had apologized later, but… apologies didn’t change the past. And Jac… She’d even had Jac shoot down her protests, and he and his growing family had far more to deal with than little old her.

Why couldn’t they all let her live out her just desserts and stay the fuck out of it?

The hatred toward herself bubbled up in her chest, the wire drawing tight within her, and as she tried to tamp it back down, she yanked her arm from Arduro’s grasp, feeling her heart once again jump to her throat.

“I told you, I have this in hand. Now let me through.”

“Why won’t you tell me what’s going on, Celia?”

The wire tightened.

Snapped.

“Because I can’t rely on you!” she half-shouted, whirling on him.

For a brief moment, she thought she saw hurt flash through his eyes, but just as quickly as it came, it was hidden behind that wall.

“You can’t rely on me?” Arduro echoed, voice low and dangerous now as he once more gripped her arm. She wondered if he took that tone with Caius. It wouldn’t shock her. But unlike how he was with Caius, he was careful with her. He didn’t hold her tight enough to hurt.

“No. I can’t.” She couldn’t rely on him. She couldn’t rely on anyone. How was she going to learn not to let her guard down if she just let everyone else deal with her problems?

The curtain of silence fell between them once again as he simply… stared. No… Glared. His eyes were burning. He had a dusting of stubble across his face. She wondered if he knew. But of course, he knew. It was Arduro. The Wall didn’t crumble like that.

“You think I’ve been out here doing nothing?” he demanded after it seemed the silence had stretched on for eternity. “That I’ve been out here because I want to be out here?”

“I—”

“No,” he snarled, interrupting her, and Celia half-shrank from the cut of his voice. Had he ever taken that tone with her before? “I have been out in this damned desert for moons now, working myself to the bone for your family, when most of my own doesn’t even give a damn whether I live or die. I could be getting money to get them out of Garlemald. But no. I’m working to protect yours. And you think you can’t rely on me?”

“Let go of me,” she hissed.

And he did, releasing her in favor of pulling a large pouch of gil from within his coat, dropping it into the dirt at her feet. “It was all for you. Do with it what you like.”

As she stood there, momentarily stunned, he began to stride off, armor clanking, and she could only stare after him. And that wire tightened and tightened.

She bit her lip hard enough that she tasted blood.

“I didn’t ask for this!” she shouted at his back, scooping up the pouch from the ground to launch it at him, hitting him square between the shoulders. “I didn’t ask you to do anything!”

With all sense of stealth thrown to the wind, before she even knew what she was doing, Celia was in motion. She was running at him, the heat of her own failings burning in her as she launched at him, wrapping her arms around his neck, squeezing as tight as she could, attempting to get him into a chokehold.

But she should have known better.

He stumbled for only a moment, perhaps taken aback at her… well. If she was honest with herself, it was a mindless, angry assault. It didn’t make sense, really, to the part of her that clung to sanity. To the rest of her… it was proof. It was an attempt to prove once and for all that she didn’t need to rely so heavily on her tol. But her little victory was short-lived. Out of her peripheral vision, she saw motion, heard the clamor of his helmet as he threw it aside, and before she could react, his gauntleted hand had closed around the collar of her sleeveless jacket, unceremoniously pulling her off his neck and over his head.

She hit the ground harder than she ever had in any of their previous sparring matches, the air leaving her in a whoosh as a sharp rock dug into her shoulder, and she actually thought that she saw stars before she focused on her new position, glaring up at him. She’d managed to dislodge some of his hair from its binding, and the locks brushed against his face.

Gods, why did he have to be handsome when all she wanted to do was punch him hard enough to make him think she was strong?

“I told you,” she spat at him, pushing herself to her feet, “I can handle this by myself.”

He didn’t say a word to her, but she could almost imagine him scowling at her and telling her to prove it.

She flew at him again, drawing upon all the things he had ever taught her, seeking out the parts of him that weren’t armored to hell and back, seeking out any place where her little fists could find tender flesh that could be bruised or harmed.

But gods… Damned Eorzean and Doman and Dalmascan gods…

How could anyone that large move so fast?

No matter where she struck, he was moving to block her. Like his namesake, he played defensive, dodging her, raising his arms to protect himself from her frankly flimsy blows. But she kept on.

She kept trying to land one solid blow.

And the more he got the better of her, the more frustrated she became.

Why was she weak? Why couldn’t she just take care of things on her own?

Why couldn’t she just win, dammit?

Without thinking, she reached behind her for her push dagger, and it was then that Arduro actually made a move rather than just defending. Before she knew it, he had twisted her wrist unless she couldn’t help but yelp in pain, but still she tried to hold on to her blade, desperate to prove her point, to prove anything at all, to him and to herself.

But down it fell, clattering onto the rock.

On instinct, she whipped her other fist around, landing a solid sucker punch against his cheek.

And—on instinct, too, she assumed in the fraction of time afforded to her—Arduro responded with one of his own, hitting her with an uppercut to her jaw hard enough that she thought her entire skull rattled.

For a moment, she actually blacked out, but when she came to, she was there.

On the ground.

She was sore. She was dirty and covered in scratches. She was disgusted with herself.

And worst of all, she was defeated.

She didn’t try to get back to her feet this time. Instead, she stayed there, giving Arduro the victory, curling into herself as she fought away the tears that came unbidden to her stinging eyes.

She couldn’t even win a fight against her tol. How did she expect to singlehandedly save her family when she couldn’t even beat someone who tended to go easy on her? Perhaps it was because he was an armored behemoth and she was… not. But that didn’t matter. She’d end up having to defend herself against someone bigger and stronger and with far more resources than she did, one day. She had to learn.

She had to.

So much for her original plan of actually accomplishing something. Instead, there she was. Lying in the dirt and crying, likely with any semblance of stealth thrown out the door like refuse.

She felt a gentle touch against her shoulder, the rasp of a gauntlet against her skin, and she finally dared to push herself to a sitting position, keeping her eyes on the ground, on her scraped knees, as Arduro knelt beside her. Even when she attacked him with no sane reason, even when she was losing her damned mind, he was gentle with her.

She didn’t deserve him.

Celia bit down on her lip, managing to keep from sobbing even if she couldn’t stop her damned tears. And Arduro didn’t say a word. She was afraid to look at his face, lest she see something she didn’t want to—anger, hatred, disgust… Anything that meant he would leave. She didn’t want him to leave. She didn’t want to be abandoned.

Too many people had left her behind because of who she was, what she was.

“It’s my fault,” she breathed, afraid to speak any higher. She curled her hands into the dirt, watching the sand slide between her fingers. “It’s all my fault. I have to fix it myself. I have to learn to rely on myself.”

She heard Arduro softly exhale, his hand briefly tightening on her shoulder. “Your choice of wording leaves much to be desired sometimes, marshmallow.”

Marshmallow. He called her marshmallow again. She could have sobbed with relief. Even as she knew she had to grow up, to toughen up, to stop being soft and remind herself that people were terrible and cruel, she couldn’t help but want to hide herself in Arduro’s arms. She wanted to be his marshmallow, a safe place for him to go to, not another battlefield he had to navigate.

And even after all that, she wished for more.

Eorzean gods, why did things have to be so complicated?

Biting her lip harder, Celia reached up, grasping Arduro’s forearm tight, trying to sap his strength, his steadiness, from the limb through her fingertips. “A lot has happened since you’ve been gone.”

“Clearly.”

“Will they be leaving again soon?” The caravan. Of course, the caravan. He had a job, and even if he had thrown the money to her feet like it was nothing, she knew him. He didn’t leave things half-finished. Even if she wanted him to shield her, he wouldn’t move on until his job was completed to his satisfaction.

“My contract ends when they get to Ul’dah tomorrow. After that…” His hand tightened on her shoulder again, and out of the corner of her eye, she saw his other arm raise, drawing her close. Celia’s nose wrinkled. He didn’t smell like ceruleum and armor polish like he usually did. He smelled… like someone who hadn’t had the opportunity for a decent bath in ages. “You’re going to tell me everything.”

Don’t tell him anything, some part of her hissed. Bundle it all inside and deal with it yourself. Don’t reach out. Don’t beg for help. Don’t be weak.

But the world—her world—was crumbling apart around her. And her tol was going to be home again.

She really was a weak, soft marshmallow, wasn’t she?

“After you take a good, long bath,” she relented, finally looking up at him. Something in her chest ached as his face, those stormy gray eyes, came into view. “You smell, old man.”

#my writing #long post #Celia Benes #Arduro Vocitus #{ Benes Blues }#the next not-so-exciting episode of Benes Ball Z

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